#feat. Bruce

[noka-exe]

pt 2 | pt 1

Damian finds a way to vent his frustration… feat. his two annoying red older brothers

[vinelark]

i don’t remember if i ever shared this here, but a while ago i posted a little twitter thread about bats and gas station snacks and some very talented podficcers made a podfic of it! 🎧

[podfic] Jersey Vigilantes Don't Pump Gas by isweedan & reena_jenkins

original thread (text under the cut):

nested tweet reading: ever since i learned gotham is supposed to be in new jersey i can’t get this concept out of my head: [a badly drawn bumper sticker that says “jersey vigilantes don’t pump gas”] / quote tweet reading: the batmobile can’t just slip in and out of a gas station unnoticed. an employee HAS to go fill up the tank. meanwhile the tired night shift cashier knows the various robin eras because they come in to buy different snacks as time goes on.

one night while the manager is out filling *the literal batmobile* the cashier blinks and comes face to face with a child in a leotard and green boots, buying a pack of twizzlers. “thanks!” the first robin calls, somehow vaulting over two rows of shelves on his way out the door.

years later, after a stretch of quiet weeks, a new, curly-haired robin comes in and grabs a bag of flamin hot pepper puffs. the cashier doesn’t even think robin 2 actually likes them, but he looks really satisfied with himself every time he drops them on the counter.

(even after the second robin abruptly stops coming in, the cashier keeps slipping flamin hot pepper puffs onto their order list. no one else ever buys them, but it just—feels like the thing to do, somehow.)

a stretch of months without a robin, oddly tense. then the third robin appears, even smaller than the first two. he slips inside and buys a cup of black coffee and drains it in one go right at the coffee station, nervously eyeing the door like he’s afraid he’ll be caught.

the fourth robin, when she shows up, makes a beeline for the protein bars. finally, the cashier thinks, someone remotely sensible for this line of work. (though maybe not sensible enough—or maybe TOO sensible—because small caffeine robin is back a few months later.)

the fifth robin, when he first appears, approaches the counter. “you will direct me to the best snacks new jersey has to offer,” he tells the cashier.

“uh,” the cashier says. “i like sour patch kids, myself.”

robin 5 nods. “i will take a bag of sour patch children.”

(one night, not much later, red hood strolls through the door. the cashier has lived in gotham for over a decade now; they barely blink, even when nightwing bounds in after him.

“oh, shit, flamin hot pepper puffs,” red hood says. “i haven’t had these in ages.”

“aw, come on,” nightwing says, already holding a pack of twizzlers. “no one else can stand those.”

“why do you think i got them in the first place, dickhead?” red hood says. “to fend off new jersey’s number one snack thief.” and he buys buys every bag in stock.)

[seilnakyle]

Selina Kyle Combat skills masterpost 4

Part one here -> X

Part two here -> X

Part three here -> X

Additional Feats:

One shots Prometheus in the dick at the speed of sound - JLA (1997) #17

Incapacitates Wally, Barry and Wallace who were being mind controlled by Ivy - Batman (2016) #42

Dodges a bullet from Deadshot - Catwoman (2002) #74

THROWS a fully grown male Lion off of her - Showcase 95’ #4

BROKE Bane’s back - Batman (2016) #13

Solos “ The Pit” one of the five horsemen of Johnny Sorrow. Demons from other realms that will physically ensnare the cities they’re released in. Selina defeats the one unleashed on Gotham single-handedly and saves the city - Power Girl Special (2023)

Some more bullet evasion

Jason Todd could barely touch her in their fight, and she wasn’t even at 100% here. Definitely a reason he goes for the sneak attack for her in the final bftc fight lol - Batman: Battle for the Cowl - The Underground (2009)

Stomps Damian (Injustice Damian)

Tim also can’t touch her without surprise attacks

Catwoman (1993) #25 / Batman hush #10

Even when Bruce is TRYING against her she still often gets the upper hand

+ Some high praise from Batman

Defeats Gorilla Grodd - Catwoman (1993) #27

Almost beats Katana before she gets jumped by Martian Manhunter and Hawkman - Catwoman (2011) #19

Fuck the cops

Eats Ninjas and assassins for breakfast basically

End of post series! Catwoman is strong af 💗

[clarkkantagain]

david gimeno by bruce weber

[bigdvmnhero]

relationships: dick & bruce

word count: 5,406

summary:

On the 96th day Bruce didn't call, Dick remembered their old game. Three things he knew: 1) In three months, it would be Dick's death anniversary; 2) Bruce was still missing his check-ins; 3) Here Dick was, persisting. Imagine the things I'd survive, Dick thought distantly, if I loved Bruce less.

Or: Agent 37 and his various crises of faith, on Day 277 at Spyral, Day 150, and Day -0.

"Imagine: to ask and to be answered. Even the son of god knows what it is to beg and be met with silence. —Passiontide, L.T.

i.

On the 96th day Bruce didn't call, Dick remembered their old game. There were two kinds of faith, Dick had tried to tell her—the one children had, and the tired, worn thing you held onto like balloon string long after the POP; the helium-high; the bright yellow of it in smithereens over your good shoes.

Dick had smiled as if to say, Guess what I got.

Her file read: Abigail, ex-military. Current head of the Sisters of the Ascended Veil. Her sneer said: unbeliever. Around her neck, the cross-shaped security pass that would allow Dick's team and several concussed Hadrian girls access to the bunker below the missionary outpost.

Through his in-ear, Helena barked over gunfire, "Get us shelter, Grayson. We'll handle Chang."

Chang, the rampaging meta in the sky. The ground shook with each distant blast. Tiger grunted, "Allah have mercy—" then came a staticky CRUNCH, a sound of which could've been anything from a tungsten rifle or a body, flattened like a sad, watery diner pancake.

Nerve strike, grab the pass, get it over with, Grayson. But Holy Head Honcho had taken one look at Dick and announced a bankruptcy of faith. Like Dick wasn't fluent in the daily death-defying act that was his life. Sure, his Catholicisms were a little rusty. His Talmud, worse. He had a pocket rosary from his mom that was missing two beads. Some of the old Bludhaven PD were severe Protestants, from whom Dick stole a fun Jesus fact he liked to pull out during parties, which was that when Jesus cried out at the ninth hour, a time for the regular ol' lamb sacrifice, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?—which of course meant, My God, my god, why have you forsaken me?—did you know it wasn't the pain of crucifixion that freaked Jesus out so much, but abandonment? Of separation eternal? How the sin of man, cast on his shoulders, had blackened his soul, cutting him off from his beloved father/brother/self in one?

Your "fun fact" is kind of a buzzkill, actually, Roy told him once. So Dick's experience with religion was a little slapdash. Sue him. It was just funny, was all. The Sisters, serving only God and various iron-fisted strongmen of the south, were said to possess a faith so absolute they could give Lanterns a run for their money—and even then they'd never know the scale of the miracles Dick had seen: 1) In three months, it would be Dick's death anniversary; 2) Bruce was still missing his check-ins; 3) here Dick was, persisting.

Closer now, the orange blitz on the horizon. Abigail stood before the imposing door of the outpost and did not budge. "You insist on entering holy ground with your… polluted soul. Even if what you say is true, Man With No Face, and there is a hidden bunker beneath this land, only the Lord's handmaiden may—"

"Enter holy ground, yes, yes, of course." Dick peered over her purple habit, into the black eye of the CCTV camera. Waved for the whole congregation watching. "Is it the whole… me being a dude thing? Fair enough, but you'll take my girls, won't you? They're just children." Children behind him groaned in a heap of limbs. Stowaway stalkers, really, but under Dick's protection, like all kids by default; a fact that would continue until the end of time. "You love children."

His Hypnos spasmed as Abigail blinked, rebuffing the mental suggestion of care-love-cute aggression.

"Or not?" Dick rubbed the baby fever from his eyes. "Huh. Guess having a maternal instinct's totally passé now."

"Your wicked offspring have no room here, outsider. Adopting strays is not the work of Handmaiden."

"So you'll let me do it for you? Good idea." One more time: the illusion whirled hot behind his eyes, bright as confetti. "You've wanted help for so long. I'll make it easy. I raised a few strays myself, y'know, they turned out great." Dick winced and did not think of Damian, the cold damp square of earth in the ground. "Wow, you're so relieved I'm here, huh? I clean, I cook, I make a kickass French toast—"

Sister Bitch put her hand in his face. "We do not gorge ourselves on the Sabbath. Enough, I can feel your… evil, in my head. Whispering, testing me. But my will is strong, as all my handmaids are." His earpiece crackled again: "WHERE'S MY EVAC, GRAYSON," boomed Tiger's voice, ornery and magnificent, and Dick almost broke character with relief. Abigail moved behind the door to bolt it closed. "If God wills you to die today, Man With No Face, then so be it."

Dick shoved a Hadrian crossbow into the gap. Good metal; vanadium. Dick could kiss it.

"Sorry, God, not dying today."

"You claim to know God's will!"

"Not God's." Dick grinned at her fury-blotched face. "Just a man's."

Earlier, while she'd monologued about his apocryphal nature, Dick had noticed the discoloration on her crucifix. It was the kind that could only come from restless hands. Skin bitten off, nailbed raw and cracked. Was this kinship, then? There was no gun, no gauntlet or secret spy gizmo that could rival the intensity of her conviction, Dick knew that now, except for what he always had, inexplicable and ordinary as his own hands. A battle of devotion was a battle Dick was always going to win.

"Remember? That day, you were careless. You lost everything, in front of so many people, and they—they just watched. But that man… he saved you. Took you in." Dick edged his foot into the door. "You've been falling for so long, Abigail, but he caught you. He caught you."

Abigail's face went slack. Dick felt bad for turning the crankshaft all the way; now her irises began to whirl in time with his—lazy at first, then fast, faster; trenchant like bloody pinwheels.

"Hasn't been easy, huh? Yeah, I hear ya. It breaks you up inside, to be away from everything you love, you even turned to religion. But he hasn't forgotten you." This would never get old: seeing the false memory annex the room in a person's mind, shuffling the furniture, slapping new paint on the walls. "C'mon, Abbie. Don't you remember? How good it all was?"

The early years—warmth traded under a heavy cape—a steady weathered hand on his back, like a new limb, a new wing—careening down dirt highways, soft rock on the radio—wind and rain; tinsel and dazzle—learning to divine the city's thousand moods, its metals—Gotham's rooftops unfolding beneath their feet, a pop-up picture book, and they were the kings of this land—they were winning the games, shooting threes, giving the people what they want—they were burning—burning something holy—

Abigail whimpered. Clutched her head. Dick felt several nerves burst; his or hers?

"He was just one man, but he—" What was he saying now? "He changed the world for you. He changed, for—for—"

Finally, Abigail staggered back, like whatever she saw was unbearable. "Dear God."

Dick reached for her. Panicked, he realized his Hypnos was still churning, memory after over-saturated memory, an engine with no kill switch. He fought a wave of tinfoil-flavored nausea. Found his feet. He'd been abridging the images as they streamed out of him—cutting Bruce Wayne out of The Batman to spare his identity—only for his feelings to cloud the system, a poison agent too sticky and hot and impossible to delineate. All he wanted, dammit, was to make her like the man, the way socialites and fanboys did—or at least dip her finger in the pool of Dick's great unpayable debt—so she'd open the bunker gates once Dick asked. Blood sprang up his eyes; the world lurched Looney Tunes-style. Imagine the things I'd survive, Dick thought distantly, if I loved Bruce less. Too late now, anyway; the Hypnos was still free-wheeling—an infinite carousel ride from hell where Dick was both the prancing horse and its white-knuckled passenger; he was in all the horses, all the seats; in one, he was swearing a candlelight oath—in another, nine years old, dying on a gurney—he was choking on radioactive fumes—he was watching Bruce as he suffocated by Lex's hand and saw the naked, childlike terror on his face, and even then Dick loved him; his wrong god, always too late—

Abigail reached out, seeing in threes. "Batman—"

"Yeah, he—" Another wave of sugary rust, pastel bile. "He's—even after everything that's happened—despite what you feel, he's—worthy. Of your loyalty. Of your—" Dick caught himself on the doorframe. "He has a mission for you."

Fingers clawed at her habit. "I can't—"

"You can. You will." Something too thick to be tears trickled down Dick's cheeks. It stained his teeth when he smiled. "Robin," he said, "that's you."

Abigail collapsed to her knees like someone shot.

The first symptom of Hypnos overuse was a fucked up vestibular system. Leaky Ear, Helena called it. Left was right and up was down was all around. Eventually, Dick made his way through the gap in the door and reached her.

"Oh God—how do—b-but if—" she stammered. "I'm Robin—"

"Yeah," Dick agreed, then with more enthusiasm, "Yay."

"What have I—?" She grabbed his shoulder like it was a ledge she was falling from. "I'm failing him."

"Not yet. There's still time. There's a meta out there, hurting your good neighbors. My friends are taking care of it, but they'll all need evac eventually. They're gonna come knocking, and you're going to let them all in. They'll need food, medical attention. You won't turn anyone away, Abigail, every life is precious, and we don't—what the hell. You know this part already."

"Food, shelter, yes," she mumbled. "I catch people, yes. I'm Robin."

"That you are, and that you do, so now—"

"I'm his partner, yes. His best friend. His—"

"Robin, focus." Dick shook off a dumb hot flash of irritation. "Aren't you gonna tell your ladies to open the bunker?"

In minutes of memory-planting, thirty feet of military-grade steel gates surrounding the outpost slid belowground, revealing the bright green manicured lawn of The Ascended Veil. The Hadrian girls cheered then fainted again. At least Tiger wasn't bellyaching on the comms anymore.

"Great job, Rob," Dick said. Then he blacked out.

(read the rest on ao3)

[sisaloofafump]

30 min pose study

[science-lings]

I have very specific thoughts about Bruce's 'childhood' and how he tried to do things differently with Dick than what happened with him because of how badly it affected him. He knows what it's like to have everything change so fast and to be so angry but too young to actually do anything about it.

I can see him making sure Dick doesn't get too close of a look at his parents because Bruce remembers being stuck with his parent's corpses until the police got there, all alone with no other way to call for help than screaming. I can see him hiding Dick from the flashing cameras and hiding any newspapers about the 'story' so that Dick doesn't have to see how the press spins everything. Bruce has that picture of himself sitting shellshocked from the ambulance on the front page and he knows how violating that felt, how publicized his trauma was, even if he can't completely prevent it for Dick he can do his best to make it hurt less.

Bruce suffered being helpless for years, being so angry at Gotham and the world and not having a good outlet for it, he had no control over anything that was happening with him, so with DIck he knows how important being Robin became because he knows how becoming Batman felt for him. Bruce got into fights because he couldn't hold his anger in and had to turn that anger inward in fear that Alfred would get sick of him and leave too. Robin was a productive outlet, even if it was a dangerous one, but who knows what would've happened to him if he didn't have it? He already got that taste of freedom and feeling like his intervention could actually make a difference that Bruce took years and years of stewing in trauma to find.

The most important thing to Bruce is that Dick doesn't become another Batman.

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

Welp, this is weird out of context....

[flowerprintundies]

Meatball.

[heroicboys]

closed. 31 M/M from bruce to karter

bruce wayne was infuriating to karter. of course they never got off on the right foot, how could you when you crash land your spaceship on a foreign planet into the batman's harbor? but there was always a mistrust at first - which again, made sense after all the other times kryptonians had come and fucked everything up. but that's what infuriated karter the most about bruce is that he was always right no matter what, he just had to be and for once he wanted to prove him wrong.

even going to train in themyscira had been smart. and karter came to the not-awesome and totally dumb batcave to thank him. and he did when he saw bruce's eyes give him a once over, thanked him by pushing him against the bat-fridge or bat-computer or bat-wall, whatever bat-structure was available until he had him naked, grabbing that infuriatingly big dick and stroking it.

pinning bruce down with strength he shouldn't have used, he used the one hand to keep him against the cool floor while the other was moving the spit-slick cock to his hole, having spent 20 minutes sucking him off to get him this slick, and sliding down on to him with a grunt. "bruce.." he growled, head lulling back, feeling strong hands find his hips already and start to match and move with him, fucking up into karter as he fucked right back.

@spangledmen

[violentdick]

-source: Batman (1940) #6-

Weapon of choice: I honestly think Bruce just wanted a chauffeur. You are rich Bruce, you can hire one.

[metanormalcy]

you may have heard of batman, but have you heard of outlier man?

this random stair also scales to 1-s via being above bruce who scales relative to tbwl who scales above the darkest knight who is above cas who r>f's limbo which is the border between heaven and hell so should scale directly to both of the locations, where heaven contains the silver city which contains the presence gg goat scaling

[lovefvcked-a]

@realmoffantasysworld gets a starter from harley quinn !!

harley was one of those types of people that didn't like to shy away from being herself. that didn't stop for anyone. she heard the sound of batman's grapple and her eyes widened, "batsy!" she exclaimed, "whatcha doin?" she asked.

[krispyweiss]

Sound Bites Presents: His Favorite Archival Releases of 2023

Music vaults are apparently overflowing with unreleased gold, some of which was finally freed in 2023. And for other artists looking back, the year brought repackaging and remixing.

The following are Sound Bites’ favorite new/old releases of the year almost ended, presented in alphabetical order:

The Beatles - 1962-1966 and 1967-1970 (2023 Editions) - Though the Blue Album contains the meat of the Beatles’ recorded output, the expanded and remixed Red Album is most improved. Review here.

Bob Dylan - Fragments - Time Out of Mind Sessions (1996-1997): The Bootleg Series Vol. 17 - Seventeen volumes in to the Bootleg Series, and it’s almost frightening to ponder how much different Dylan’s 60-year string of studio albums could have been. Review here.

Fleetwood Mac - Rumours Live - Rumours Live may be the quintessential in-concert capture from this lineup in that the players aren’t as cocaine sloppy as on 1980’s Live nor as polished on the Dance from 1997, on which a cadre of backing musicians sterilized the music. Review here.

Jerry Garcia - Might As Well: A Round Records Retrospective - Looking at the tracklist, one might think Might As Well is a Grateful Dead compilation. But this is a Garcia best-of album, albeit one where 12 of the 16 studio tracks went on to become bonafide live-Dead classics. Review here.

Little Feat - Sailin’ Shoes (Deluxe Edition) and Live in Boston 1975 - Everyone will start to cheer when you put on the new deluxe edition of Sailin’ Shoes. Same goes for Live in Boston 1975, a formidable rival to Waiting for Columbus. Reviews here and here.

Joni Mitchell - Joni Mitchell Archives, Vol. 3: The Asylum Years (1972-1975) - The glorious sound of Mitchell morphing from a folkie from the 1960s to a jazzer of the 1970s. Review here.

Pink Floyd - The Dark Side of the Moon - Live at Wembley Empire Pool, London, 1974 - At this point, Dark Side is an album that needs to be revisited only sporadically. But this high-fidelity recording offers a fresh take - one that fares better in both sound and performance quality that the many bootlegs of various Dark Side performances floating around out there. Review here.

Carly Simon - Live at Grand Central - As a soft-rock artist associated with the 1970s, Simon’s songs have been relegated mostly to oldies radio stations and memories. Live at Grand Central should be sufficient to put them back in the forefront for a while. Review here.

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band - The Darkness Tour ’78 - Still young, still hungry and already one of rock’s great on-stage conglomerates, Springsteen and the E Street Band in 1978 were doing something unique to them. Review here.

Various Artists - Playing for the Man at the Door: Field Recordings from the Collection of Mack McCormick, 1958–1971 - Next time someone says, “Thank a taper,” mention Mack McCormick by name. Review here.

12/28/23

[sonicfan3]

Remembered Cardverse AU, went “Hey, what if that, but with Hueniverse OCs?”

Full list under the cut

Clubs: Skyler (Jack), Palette (King), Inkwell (Queen)

Spades: Lilac (Queen), Camille (King), Matt (Jack)

Diamonds: Jaden (Jack), Celia (King), Teegan (Queen)

Hearts: Vivian (Queen), Bruce (King), Patrick (Jack)

[kingoftieland]

The Hulk’s creation was inspired by TRUE EVENTS! 🤱🏻