#feeling absolutely pooped after this week

[atsuwumus]

good evening sharks (mooties) I'm requesting a 25% investment (a kiss on the forehead) as well as a deposit of $1K (a boop on the nose). in return you'll receive 5% shares (me wagging my tail at ur feet)

[heliza24]

Porter is absolutely trying to guide Fig into switching her paladin oath and warlock contract to the unnamed god of rage. Thank god Siobhan at least clocked the giant connection this episode. Ancestor oath? Ancestors who probably also worshipped the forgotten god? Ok sir. I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you.

The real answer for Fig, by the way, is not that she’s dedicated to Kristen or doubt or Cassandra or rebellion or rage. She’s dedicated to friendship, which is its own kind of contract and oath.

I think the IH finally noticed that random students having a deeply angry reaction to them is not a bit and may be mystery connected. The fact that Quincy started exhibiting rage after Fabian used Fig’s bardic also feels significant to me. I still think the curse is connected to wrath as much as pride, which also has its own hellish set of armor.

Brennan and Ally improvising as Buddy and Kristen was so good. The way that Brennan captured a kind of fundamentalist rejection of responsibility and Ally let Kristen’s anger and religious trauma shine through. It was really impressive. And I keep turning over the connection of unnamed god is associated with rage and summer- Sol is the god of the sun- Buddy lets Sol get angry for him. I don’t understand the connection yet but it’s there somehow.

Did everyone forget that learning how to plane shift into gems was literally a huge plot point of sophomore year? Where the hell is Ayda when you need her?

Lou made me laugh SO hard this episode with Fabian’s failed attempts at flirting with Mazey and his choice of poop punishment. Truly unhinged in the best way.

Baron in the preview for next week! I can’t wait.

This season is so good. I just love the way the themes are suffused through the mechanics (stress leads to rage) and the mystery and the role play. The pacing of the way clues are rolling out feels just right. Just *chefs kiss* all around.

[nortism]

What the Ghosts have been watching on TV

Everyone

Channel 4 Home renovation shows: They're free with ads and there's an infinite amount of them so Alison puts them on for the whole gang when she and Mike have work to do in same way people put on YouTube videos for their dogs. This has backfired slightly as all the ghosts now have very strong and conflicting opinions on how Button House should be renovated.

The Great British Bake-off: A whole family event, they all get very invested. Kitty thinks Alison Hammond is the funniest person in the world. The Captain feels normal about Noel Fielding. As well as a watching it live, I'm sure they've also watched the whole back catalogue together.

Mama Mia: This where the Captain learnt his ABBA songs from. Pat and Julian enjoy the nostalgic music and I think the others are just bewitched by the story and music

Robin

Anything David Attenborough: For obvious reasons. I think he'd get a kick out of trying to do his voice. The others sometimes join in.

Cunk on Earth/ Britain: I think they've got a similar attitude towards history and I think he'd find serious historians trying to answer silly questions incredibly funny

Horrible Histories: He watches this with Kitty, they both find poop jokes funny.

Humphrey

Antiques Roadshow: I'm not sure why. I honestly think he's just glad to watch anything.

Mary

Gardener's World: I think she misses being able to look after plants and I think she'd be endlessly fascinated by how hosepipes work.

Mio Mao: She loves them fucking plasticine cats. She will not stop singing the theme song

Honestly think she'll watch anything with anyone and would get invested, she seems like the ideal person to watch telly with.

Kitty

Ru Paul's Drag Race: I think they all watch this every so often but Kitty is invested. There's bright colours, fun outfits and drama, it's definitely Alison's go to when she needs Kitty distracted.

90s and 2000s romcoms: I believe that every couple of weeks Alison and Kitty have a "girl's night" where they watch all the romcoms that Alison used to watch with her mum, mostly because I love watching romcoms with my mum and Kitty deserves that. Kitty is particularly fond of Twilight.

Thomas:

Any Jane Austen adaptations: He watches them with Fanny as they were both big fans when they were alive (its the only thing they agree on). Kitty also joins sometimes. His favourite is the 1995 Pride and Prejudice tv show.

Fanny:

Grey's Anatomy: I haven't seen it but my mum's a big fan and there's millions of seasons, I think she'd pretend she's not that into it but she definitely is.

Call the Midwife: Same as above.

The Captain:

M*A*S*H: I've seen about half an episode of this but it seems to be about fit young men in a war so it sounds like his thing. Probably Pat's recommendation.

Our Flag Means Death: I think Alison has been trying to sneakily show Cap gay media under the pretence of saying "it's just a fun show about pirates". I think the whole gang watched it together. The Captain definitely didn't cry at the end of season 1 why would think that?

Pat

Taskmaster: I think this is one they all watch together but it's definitely one of Pat's favourites. He probably attempted to set up his own version of the show with the ghost which ended horribly.

Doctor Who: I think he watched the original run when he was alive and was absolutely ecstatic to find out they made more. Julian makes fun of him for it.

Julian

Have I Got News For You: Has been airing since 1990 so he definitely watched it while he was alive. I think he likes to keep up with current politics but not in a very serious way so this is his middle ground.

Succession: I haven't seen this show but it seems to be about horrible men in suits being horrible to each other which seems right up his alley.

The Thick of It: Speaking of horrible men in suits being horrible. I think he watches this with Robin who has absolutely no idea what's going on but just laughs when Julian does and they have the best time. Julian is constantly pausing to add his own anecdotes

What We Do In The Shadows: Alison put this on as a 'let's show the Captain it's ok to be gay' show and the Captain was immediately horrified so Julian adopted it. He identifies with Lazlo.

[mysteria157]

Chapter 15

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Black Fem Reader

Word Count: ~17.3k

CW: profanity, explicit sexual content, jealousy, postpartum coping

Summary: You and Nanami navigate through the first months of parenthood. Nanami gives you an amazing birthday gift. A surprising encounter with someone from Nanami’s past makes you unsure of yourself.

Notes: Getting close to the end, I’m so sad but proud that I’m almost done with this journey. Thank you to all who have been supportive so far. Reblogs, likes, or comments are always appreciated but not necessary <3 I hope you enjoy reading!

Divider: @cafekitsune

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It Had To Be You Masterlist

You were so incredibly lucky to have Kento by your side through the very messy beginnings of a new addition in your house. You both settled into an easy routine—or at least as easy as it could be—with Ulani. While her first month of life was spent being cherished, hugged, cooed at and loved, you and Kento’s first month with her could only be described as absolute hell.

She did what all newborns did; cry, eat incessantly, poop, and sleep. Four easy and mundane tasks all carried out in various intervals that you both had read about and mentally prepared for, but where blindsided with nonetheless.

You and Kento were thankful for all the help you could get.

Chiyo inserted herself immediately and every morning of that first week, she would silently let herself into the house with her spare key and pick up the living room, prepare you and Kento a small breakfast and make sure any clothes in the dryer were folded and put away. Even Santo helped by mowing your front lawn and backyard while Kento slept and grabbing groceries at night while Kento cleaned up and you fed Ulani and got her ready for bed.

They were all such small and easy things to do. So smelling caffeine free tea in the air every morning when you both crawled out of bed, eyeing the large plate of eggs and toast next to the heap of groceries on your kitchen counter, seeing a freshly cut lawn and the folded onesies and bibs on your couch, all of it had your heart growing ten times in size and Kento pulling his parents in a gentle hug when he could catch them in his spare time.

Though you both were working as a team, Kento would only stand for so much from you. He loved you, from the depths of his soul he did. But after catching you completely breaking down not even two weeks after giving birth, he had sworn to never make you feel alone.

You were overwhelmed, of course you were. You and Kento tried and failed to set a good schedule for Ulani and you suffered the consequences, especially at night. You had begun to feel the small dredges of anxiety and sadness lick up your legs night after night and day after day when Ulani would cry relentlessly and fight to latch on even when she was clearly hungry. You had been so tired, so achy and swollen, and so uncomfortable in your own fucking skin with a beautiful daughter that refused to eat or sleep when she was obviously begging for it.

You had tried, had forced yourself to take deep breaths in the nursery alone when Kento was busy with her, forced yourself to will away the tears that had already spilled down your cheeks. You were strong. You had to be. For her, for Kento, for your entire family. But no matter what you did, you couldn’t stop the thoughts of what if she stops breathing? What if she refuses to eat and she starves? What if you’re not doing this correctly? You’re doing it all wrong. 

A bad caretaker, a terrible person to watch over her, a horrible mother. 

The thoughts had you crumpling into the rocking chair in your daughter’s nursery and sobbing until you felt the warm and large hand of your boyfriend smoothing along your back and caressing the skin of your neck before pulling you into him.

And as you cried into his shirt and muttered quietly how useless you felt as a mother, he had vowed in that moment to never let you feel it again if he could help it. So, he made an appointment with Dr. Williams himself to evaluate you and get you on the proper course of addressing your baby blues. He created a schedule for you both to try to maintain and he encouraged you to take at least half an hour for yourself every single day. He refused to make you feel lesser than what you were, refused to let the natural course of thoughts after childbirth morph into something that would scar you further, and refused to make you feel like you were alone in all of this.

He didn’t entertain any of your protests of staying up later than what was necessary and convinced you—quite quickly—to let him take control at night. Before laying Ulani down to sleep, you breastfed her. When your alarm went off every three hours, you woke up to pump while Kento fed Ulani with a bottle and handled any changing.

At first you felt awful at the sight of his tall form disheveled and exhausted, blonde hair a mess on his head as he practically dragged his yawning and grumbling body to Ulani’s nursery. But being able to pump went so much quicker than breastfeeding her, and all thoughts of your regret washed away when you could immediately shut your eyes again and feel him crawl up against you an hour later.

You made up for it during the day by being the parent to wake Ulani and get her ready for the morning.

After that first week of Chiyo’s help, you used the free time before waking your daughter to pick up the house and cook a small breakfast for you and Kento before getting Ulani ready and going out for a walk with her grandmother. It helped the rampant thoughts that would occasionally flutter in your mind when the house was too quiet or when Ulani began to fuss. And being able to have Chiyo as a good resource, to hear her tell her own remedies and stories for how she took care of her own son as you both walked through the suburbs, it helped so much.

It was hectic, grueling, exhausting and messy. But god, where the results worth it. It was worth it during the first month of Ulani’s life to hear her begin to coo with everything that she did. It was worth it to watch her recognize you and Kento’s face a little bit more each day, her dark brown eyes shifting with the movement of her head as she looked when you both spoke to her. It was worth it to hear those coos get a little louder when you or he walked into the room. All of it was worth it when even on the days where nothing seemed to go right, the sight of her sleeping during naptime made each and every fear, frustration, and worry wash away almost immediately.

There were times when you thought about what your life would have looked like without Kento in it. How would things have panned out if you had never told him about the pregnancy? Where you be if he never showed up at Rory’s door that night, completely distraught with his fingers digging into the fabric of his pants as he asked you softly to be involved in some aspect of the pregnancy. You were sure you would have handled it all just fine. It would be five thousand times more difficult, but you had Ome and even Chiyo and Santo. You could have done it alone. But having Kento with you and knowing that not only did he care and love her, but you as well, it made it all so much better.

Even though his help was a godsend to you, there were days when you inserted yourself and took over with his share of tasks. After six months since Yu’s death, Kento was doing well. He didn’t shy away when you brought him up or when Kaya’s name flashed on his phone when she called. He didn’t try to change the subject when you brought up the bakery casually during a quick dinner. He was healing.

But there were days when he woke up and carried on quieter than usual. There were days when those brown eyes that usually brightened for you and Ulani held a small flicker of grief in them. There were days when he was…tired. And on those days, you made sure he ate. You made sure he held his daughter longer than usual to remind himself of the life he had been given. You made sure to take a shift at night where you fed and changed Ulani yourself and held him close to you when you crawled back into bed. You made sure on those days when the world was too much for him, that you told him whenever you could how happy you were that he was still trying. The road of grief would never be straight and narrow, but at least Kento had finally decided to walk on it.

That first month turned into three and a half. Your routine, while still a little unpredictable, had finally began to mesh into something comprehensible and fluid. You and Kento were practically coming apart at the seams from the passage of time.

In just the blink of an eye, she had changed drastically. Ulani slept a little bit longer at night and napped throughout the day. The thin wisps of light brown hair on her head had grown into a full head of hair, thick like her father’s but just as curly as yours. She had practically doubled her birth weight and was becoming more mobile, much to the weariness of you and excitement of your boyfriend. She was always reaching for something, always shaking her toys and babbling and screaming at anything she could look at or touch. While you loved every second of watching her grow, it was going by too fast. So, so fast.

After that first day of allowing your friends to meet her, you had kindly asked for a little space just to build a routine with her without any interruptions. But you were more than ready on your birthday when you had lifted the restriction of visitors and allowed Rory to walk inside of your house on a chilly October morning. He had chosen to wait a few days after you gave birth to let you rest and acclimate before meeting her and had of course taken to her immediately.

He pulled you into a hug as soon as you opened the front door of your house.

“Happy Birthday, honey. Oh, how I’ve missed you!” The excitement was radiating off of him in waves, his hold on you tight as he swayed you side to side, his retouched twists brushing against the skin of your cheek as he laughed against you. Well-known brown eyes shined down at you as he pulled away, white but slightly crooked teeth gleaming as he smiled and began to look around your house. “Where is she? Where is my grandniece?”

The grandniece in question, was babbling rather loudly on the floor of your living room. The coffee table had long ago been stored away and replaced with her playmats, toys, and a bouncer. You alternated her playmats to encourage her sensory intake and right now, she seemed so tiny against the splattering of leaves and trees of the mat she laid on. She was staring down at the bright shades of green and dark hues of blue when you both walked into the living room, her elbows weakly pushing her head and chest up from her growing core muscles as she babbled incoherently. Her distance with sight had increased and she was able to catch the shift of your foot when you walked into the room, her head pulling up further and eyes catching yours before she screeched happily at your presence, a gummy smile shooting your way.

The sound made your heart thump hard in your chest, pride and love thrumming through your veins as soon as the decibels pierced your ears. You smiled as you sagged onto the floor and then your stomach, Rory following your actions silently and keeping an even space between you and her. Ulani’s eyes studied yours, dark brown irises already beginning to pierce and silently decipher just like her damn father.

“Just talk normally.”

You smiled at her while speaking to Rory, your voice even and low as she took in your voice. He slowly pressed a hand onto a drawing of a large monstera on the mat, his brown skin a sudden contrast to the greens and blues she was already studying.

“You looked just like her when you were a baby. It makes me feel so old, but I’ve never been happier.” He wiggled his fingers on the mat as he spoke, chuckling deeply as she followed the movement and began to grasp at him immediately, her body wobbling as she tried to maintain the balance on her stomach.

Ulani grunted softly, the dusting of her light eyebrows furrowing with effort as she pushed her chest a little further onto the mat and used the tether of Rory to pull closer to him. He didn’t hesitate, softly scooping her into his arms and sitting up to rest his back against your sofa. She looked up at him with an intensity that you had grown used to from Kento, her chubby hands fisting into his shirt as she began to babble incoherently once again.

“Where is Kento? It’s your birthday and I’m surprised he’s not out here.”

“Passed out. She had a pretty rough night so I turned off his alarm and let him sleep a little more. He takes the night shift so it’s usually me and her in the morning until he wakes up.”

“And things are going well?”

You nodded softly and rested your head against the cushion of your sofa. Rory hummed in appreciation, smiling and cooing happily down at your daughter as you watched them both interact with one another.

Things were going amazingly well. Even in the clouds of exhaustion, Kento exuded nothing but love and dedication to you and your daughter.

In the course of the last few months together, you both had bickered once. Well you griped, and he spoke back to you in that soft and firm tone, and that was during a night of Ulani waking up almost every hour. You had been suffering through a week of painful breasts from breastfeeding and pumping, had barely slept, and had squeezed your eyes shut in frustration as Ulani wailed in your ear. He had knocked on the door of the nursery to check on you and just the sound of another voice had you whipping around and barking at him to leave you alone. You had instantly been washed over with guilt as you took in the sight of the cold compress in his hand and struck with silence as he took your screaming daughter from your arms without a word, firmly placed the compress into your shirt to soothe your breasts and walked from the room, the dying cries of Ulani following him.

He had laughed good naturedly at the swelling of tears in your eyes the next morning when you apologized.

“Love, I would never expect you to be okay with a screaming infant so obviously I forgive you. But please just talk to me. I don’t care how overwhelmed you are, speak to me. Now stop crying. If Ulani starts up again, I will leave you forever.”

Even though he was one to readily show his irritation with others, he could never do that when you or Ulani were involved. Besides that night when he was drunk out of his mind and overcome with grief for Yu, he had never raised his voice again at you. He was everything you ever wanted in a man that it felt almost surreal and almost undeserving. He checked in but never hovered when your baby blues had gotten the best of you, he massaged the ache in your legs and back during the nights where you had to sit up and pump and he couldn’t sleep, and he cooked dinner almost every single night while Ulani was distracted in her baby bouncer and you showered. He even took the time—and you still didn’t know how—to get you flowers consistently. They were always on the granite countertop when you walked into the kitchen in the morning with Ulani in your arms.

The first bouquet was Daffodils, your favorite and a welcome pop of yellow in your kitchen that had a soft smile curling on your face and your chest filling with warmth. When one bouquet wilted, another took its place; perched in the same spot on your counter in the morning as if he had gotten them while you slept. First Daffodils, then Lilacs, then Lilies, all three your favorites and then others that you had never thought of like Gardenias, Fuchsias, and Peonies. You never asked him how and were content to simply hold the gesture close to your heart and kiss him every time a new one graced your eyes when you walked into the kitchen to make breakfast.

When Dr. Williams cleared you for light exercise and sex at your eight week postpartum checkup, part of you had practically jumped for joy. But the other part of you…didn’t really care. Taking care of a baby never gave you the time to think about, let alone want sex. And even though sex with Kento could knock you out, the demands and cries of Ulani managed to do the exact same thing. It was to be expected, your hormones were still slowly adjusting and the shift in them because of breastfeeding had left your libido practically depleted.

Thankfully you had a partner who understood. Kento did his homework, read every baby book he could get his hands on and even sat your doula down to ask her questions on what to expect before and after pregnancy. While every kiss with him grew more heated as the weeks flew by, you just weren’t ready. And Kento being the gentleman he was, adapted gracefully and used all of his effort to make you feel as comfortable as he could while you healed.

So yea, you could confidently say things were going well.

“Look at how strong you are!”

Rory’s voice pulled you back into the present, your eyes blinking and refocusing on your daughter bouncing in his arms. Her tiny feet were planted on his thighs, his large hands caging her torso as he guided her movements to accommodate each press onto his legs, giving her the feeling of independence without letting her go. A noise left her mouth with each moment, hands coming to clap as she squealed in his arms.

The shuffle of feet drew your attention to your hallway as Kento walked into the open air of the living room. His sleep pants hung low and loose on his lower body, his torso covered in a white shirt and pulling against his chest as he ran a hand through messy hair and looked sleepily around the room.

Ulani saw him first, her eyes catching the blonde of his hair over the arm of the sofa before she was screeching happily for him. He reacted almost immediately, firm brown eyes flickering to the three of you on the floor and falling onto his daughter before he was smiling brightly down at her.

“There you are.”

She cooed up at him in response, drool falling down small lips and onto her onesie. Rory chuckled bashfully as he lifted her up in the direction of her father, her arms reaching for him instinctively as he plucked her from your uncle and nestled her into the fabric of his chest. He greeted your uncle warmly and reached his long torso over the sofa to kiss the side of your head before disappearing into the kitchen.

“Did you eat?”

His serious but soft tone carried through the kitchen, over the couch and onto your skin as you rolled your eyes and kept your mouth shut.

“Did you drink water? Or if you want, I can watch Ulani so you can get some fresh air—”

“Kento. I promise, I’m perfectly alright.”

He sighed dramatically from his place in the kitchen and grumbled something beneath his breath like a child who had been told no for the millionth time. Rory snickered from his spot next to you, helped you up and strolled into the kitchen to talk to Kento. You relaxed into the soft cushions of the couch, content to watch them both speak as you let the serene calm in the air press against your skin. A year ago, your life looked a lot different. You spent your mornings fueled with coffee and arched over a desk next to Jin. If you weren’t throwing clay, painting, reading a good book, or with Ome, then your evenings were usually spent with a dinner made for one and your head buried in marketing templates and statements of work. You knew nothing but work and appease to others in the hopes of being seen.

But now, your life was something you held dear even if at times it didn’t seem real. You never thought the man that had driven you up the wall at work would be the father of your child, let alone your partner. You never thought someone as serious and indifferent as him was capable of anything else. The fluttering in your chest never failed to cease when you caught Kento doing normal things around you.

Even right now, it was still so odd to see your daughter with a light brown chubby fist jammed in her mouth and the other twisted in the fabric on her father’s shoulder while he ate with one hand and talked to your uncle about his work and progress at the studio. It was puzzling to watch your uncle throw his head back to guffaw at something you had apparently missed pass from Kento’s lips, Ulani squealing to join in. It was odd to watch those typically straight lips curl to form a smirk, or a laugh, or a smile when it was only you or your friends around. It was odd to see stoic eyes melt to convey other emotions when he spoke to you. You had become familiar with it all for months now, but it still never failed to catch you off guard.

The scene before you had been unfathomable before truly getting to know him further. He was completely at ease in your home, and you couldn’t help the thought as it hit you quickly; a muscled arm secure around his daughter as he sipped from a mug of tea with his left hand, the glimmer of a band on his ring finger winking at you from the lights of your kitchen as he talked to his uncle-in-law. You bit the inside of your cheek at the thought of his eyes catching yours from across the room, the ends of soft blond hair touching the tips of his eyebrows and swaying from his movements as he smiled softly at you and used that same ring covered hand to playfully grab your daughters small hand and wave it in your direction.

The shudder that ran through your body was violent and jarring as the thoughts dissipated and the silent chatter of your uncle and boyfriend faded back into your ears. You couldn’t even count on both of your hands anymore how often you found yourself doing that. Couldn’t even begin to think the number of times you imagined him in almost everything he did, attached to you in some way. But what did you expect? Men like Kento were made to be married to. He was efficient in almost anything that he did, and if there was one thing that made you think about a lingering future with him, it was watching him be a father. Watching him excel in the way he took care of Ulani was nothing special, it was expected of him. Men doing the same job with just as much efficiency and effort as women should never be given any sort of praise. But it was probably the evolutionary and primal part of you that salivated from his efforts and knowing that Ulani was protected and she would always be safe because Kento was the right man for the job. That and also because watching him care for her was the happiest you had ever seen him.

So every time he told you he loved you, held your daughter closer when she cried, and read to her almost every night, it was hard not to imagine him whispering Mrs. Nanami with that familiar teasing lilt in his voice.

“Y/n.”

You jumped, blinking back into reality once again as you looked up at him from your perch on the sofa. His tall form loomed over the back of the couch, gazing down at you with a tranquil expression as he analyzed the features of your face. All traces of your uncle were gone. A large and warm hand slid against the skin of your face, cupping your cheek and stroking the skin beneath your eye.

“Are you well?”

You nodded softly, your tongue thick in your mouth and the muscles of your jaw hinged shut as you tried to come back down from the fog of your overactive imagination. If he could see the unease in your eyes, for once he did not comment on it.

The sound of your phone ringing and vibrating against your leg had you jumping again in your seat. You ignored the lift of his questioning brow and lifted your hands in the direction of Ulani.

“Time to lay her down for a nap.”

He angled her away from you, eyes softening as he took you in.

“I can do it. You should try to nap too while she’s asleep.”

The sight of him smiling down at her as she rubbed her fists tiredly against her eyes, his shirt stretching deliciously across his chest and the prominent curve of a bicep peeking through his sleeve as he held her, had your stomach twisting and wringing itself out like a rag. Even though your libido was as dry as the Sahara, everything Kento did still made your body react all the same.

You nodded again to his gentle suggestion; your voice once again empty. Another lift of his brow, stoic eyes carefully taking in the features of your face before you caught a flicker of mirth in them. It was quick and almost hard to miss, but you gathered the way his pupils expanded only for a second before relaxing back into place.  

He offered you a hand, his fingers flickering back towards himself in a come hither motion as he beckoned you silently toward him. You took his hand without question, trying and failing to keep your eyes from trailing up the expanse of his veiny arm as you walked around the couch and closer to him. His gentle grip tightened, a tug pulling you close and into the hard planes of his side, your body immediately enveloped in warmth from his touch. His own body was soft but the feel of his muscles beneath it all, warm and strong had you melting into him. The hand in yours trailed your forearm before sliding along the fabric of your back and nestling against your waist.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

He was goading you, egging you on just so he could watch your brown skin tint further with blush. And of course, with the smell of his eucalyptus shampoo and woodsy aftershave gliding up your nose and frying what little functional braincells you had, it was logical to give him exactly what he was looking for. You felt your face catch on fire as you nodded dumbly up at him and cursed inwardly as you watched the satisfaction fill his features as he took in the heavy blush on your cheeks and the bob of your Adam’s apple while you swallowed around the thick lump in your throat.

“And you’ll get some sleep? Take a nap for me?”

You narrowed your eyes up at him, trying your best to convey insolence even though the low pitch of his voice had you arching slightly against him. He smirked down at you, reveling at the poutiness of your face, a soft chuckle sliding up and out of his throat. That hand resting on your waist slid slowly up your back, along the expanse of your shoulder blade, along the skin of your trapezius muscle before settling hot and gentle on the crease of your neck. His hand was large enough to cover most of the side of your neck, long fingers scratching the scalp of your nape, and his thumb caressing the skin of your jaw. You couldn’t help the release of a shudder, your eyes fluttering and a soft breath leaving parted lips before you felt his hand angle your neck up, your lips tilting towards him and granting him access to lean down and slide his own against yours with ease.

Your eyes rolled behind closed lids, an exhale sliding from your nose and caressing his own face as his lips danced against yours. Even though it was weak and barely there, you welcomed that familiar lick of heat flaring subtly along the base of your spine.

Ulani’s babbling immediately zapped what little had lingered beneath your skin and Kento pulled away from you just as quickly, keeping your head at the distance he wanted with his gentle grip against the side of your neck. Ginger tea tinged breath danced along your cheeks as he breathed against you, another smirk pulling against his lips before he was muttering down at you.

“Be good for me, love and go take a nap.”

A smack against the thin material of your sweatpants, sudden and stinging, had you squeaking against him and that small flame inside of you flickering again. You pulled out of his hold and whirled around to the direction of your room before you could embarrass yourself further, your body practically pooling with sweat and heat from his words. His chest shook with laughter as he watched you scurry away from him, a hand flipping him off and your mouth cursing him before you rounded the corner and disappeared from his view.

***

So far, your birthday had been everything you could have asked for. You used to dread the day your thirtieth would come. You had fallen into the stigma of needing to have a set of accomplishments at this age, had let it rule over you as you worked yourself to the bone all through your twenties. Truth be told, Ulani had put a lot of things in perspective. Since the day you realized she would be a possibility, your entire world had flipped on its axis and made you rethink every priority you had set for yourself since high school.

The mangled strings of the relationship with your mother had finally gave under pressure and dissolved in the vat of acid it hung above for years. The job you had worked hard for had been ripped away from you. The existential question of who you wanted to be had suddenly been thrust front and center.

But even through that heartbreak and pain, you finally turned to the persistent voices of what you truly wanted. Through your uncle and Kento and Ome, you finally embraced that side of yourself that you had kept pushed down for so long. The Instagram Kento made for your art was steadily ringing with commissions, and while you only had time for one or two since Ulani’s birth, the newfound confidence and notoriety had set you on a path you were comfortable to walk down for the foreseeable future.

You were still figuring it all out, but that was the point. Thirty was by no means old and you finally understood that. Now that you were finally on the path you wanted to be on, the possibilities made more sense.

So even though today was just like any other birthday, you could confidently say it marked a shift in your life that you could finally be proud of.

When you woke from your nap, Ulani showered you with sloppy and drool filled birthday kisses. Ome, Kaya, and Shoko yanked you out of the house for an afternoon of shopping, a great Ramen lunch, and a manicure and pedicure to top it off. You were practically aching for Ulani when you walked into the door but the sight of your daughter gurgling on Kento’s chest as he laid on the floor of your living room and spoke to her, an arm around to cradle her, and the deep brown of Aiko’s hair splattered against his other arm as she snored against his side…the sight of it made your heart clench tighter and a smile stretch on your face.

You had expected to be brought to a nice restaurant filled with people who dressed far more extravagantly than you and a menu with not a price in sight. But Kento knew you would be uncomfortable; he knew you wouldn’t want to wear a dress that was probably too tight and be around people who only made you feel more insecure in yourself. So, he surprised you with a billowy navy sweater dress that fit against you comfortably and dragged you to an alley of Nakameguro filled with street food. With Ulani in the care of his parents, you both were free to relax and enjoy the cool night air of the city. You indulged in yakitori, karaage, and crepes; Kento finished an entire Okonomiyaki and a beer without an ounce of remorse. You complained of not being able to have a bite, he placated you with a miniscule sip of what remained of his beer.

As you both walked the busy streets in the direction of the car and with your head resting against his arm, you felt sated and happy.

“One last stop.”

His voice pulled you out of your reverie as you turned with him to face the business you had stopped in front of. From what you could see through the glass storefront, the establishment was closed but the lights inside dim. An old gallery that you and Chiyo passed during your morning walks often but never paid much attention to. It typically was only open when there was an exhibit and the last one was right when Ulani was born.

He ignored your worried protests as he opened the door and walked inside, pulling you with him with a soft chuckle.

“Kento, this is trespassing!”

“My love, the door was open.”

Your mouth was open and ready to fire away a retort before the lights brightened.

What you previously had thought to be an empty room was actually filled and laid out carefully with ceramic art. Black stone pillars at various distances around the gallery were topped with pieces that you immediately recognized. The gasp left your mouth before you could stop it and you were squealing and rushing to the first pillar next to you as you took in the monolith sculpture. To anyone else, it was a large block. But you could see every intricacy and detail beneath it. Different layers of clay had been pressed and molded together, glazed with a mixture of colors that made each layer shine fluorescent as they stacked on top of each other. Whatever technique it was, the artist had used it to make geometric shapes of various sizes. Cubes, cylinders, hexagons, and spheres; some as short as your shin and others as tall as Kento. Your body was humming with electricity as you took it all in, your eyes falling to the small inscription beneath the work of art to confirm the source.

“Choso Kamo! This is his gallery. We have to find out when this opens, I have so many questions.”

“You can him if you want.”

You threw Kento an odd look, taking in his indifferent gaze that blanketed a layer of mirth as he flickered his gaze over your shoulder. You heard the rustle behind you, eyes wide in shock. Turning slowly and refraining—and failing—from pulling in an embarrassingly loud breath, Choso Kamo stood on the other side of the black stone pillar.

While a few inches shorter than Kento, his stance was just as imposing, shoulders just as broad. Stringy black hair tied up into two buns with thick bangs hanging down each side of his face, deep purple eyes with a ring of purple beneath thick lashes that made him look exhausted, and the characteristic birthmark of a line across the bridge of his nose. He looked as if he belonged in the dark, as if he slept in the moist corners of alleys and only rose with the moon. To others he probably was someone you would never try to talk to, but his well known innocence and shy nature was palpable in the small space between you both.

You nodded politely in his direction, muttering your name through excited lips and smiling softly as he bowed respectfully.

“I’ve followed your work since my freshman year of college. You’re definitely one of my favorites.”

The soft smile he shot your way was kind and gentle, small purple pupils reminiscent of Geto shining back at you.

“Then it would be an honor to show you around.”

Kento was the last thought on your mind as you walked with Choso to each black stone pillar. He described every work of art to you in detail, answered every question around soft chuckles while you rambled aimlessly over everything you had studied over the years, and even discussed what his plans were for the exhibit. Monolith sculptures, terracotta figurines of ancient Japanese artifacts and monsters, disfigured heads made with metal, stone, and wood. So many pieces of his craft made with different firing techniques and materials and all right in front of you.

He was the same age as you, and the perfect example of someone who had taken a hobby and morphed it into something beautiful. When you had your first internship, he was already teaching classes at a small studio near his home in Okinawa. While your days were filled with paperwork and marketing presentations, Choso was already working on a handful of commissions and building his fanbase. Life could have gone so much differently for you.

You had no idea how much time had passed, but before you knew it, your feet had landed right back at the front of the exhibit, your heart filling with disappointment even in the mix of excitement and happiness.

“I cannot begin to convey how wonderful this has been, Choso. Thank you so, so much for entertaining me.”

He waved you off, throwing another characteristic soft smile your way before his eyes were flickering away from you and back again. In the short time of being around him, he didn’t particularly exude confidence. While his work spoke for itself and he knew he was successful, if you put him in a room full of people, you hardly would have noticed him, and you’re sure he would have liked it that way. He was quiet and just as reserved as Kento, his face looked as if he hadn’t slept in days, but when he spoke about his work, the fondness and pride in his gaze and voice was hard to ignore.

“I actually was wondering if I could commission some of your work?”

You blanched, brows furrowing quickly in confusion and your head tilting to let the sudden fog in your head slide out of your ear. He swallowed stiffly before clearing his throat.

“I apologize, I’m not the best at conversation unless someone is asking me about my work. What I mean to say is, I’ve heard a lot about you, and I would be honored if you could make something for me.”

Your mind was reeling with the implications of his words. Kento, who had yet to utter a word since walking into the gallery with you, remained quiet as he took in the interaction in front of him.

“How did you know that I—”

“I like the work of artists who are fresh into the world. But artists who actually know what they are doing.” He interrupted you, shoving his hands into the pocket of his jeans, his body stiffening further as he tried to ignore the shock on your face. “A few weeks ago, I found out that I have a half-brother. Yuji.”

The sound of his name in the air as it fell from his lips made him relax instantly, his bored eyes softening as they met yours.

“It’s a long story, but as soon as he found out what I do for work, he was telling me everything about you. He’s very…loquacious and once I saw your page, I knew I had to have some of your work.” His head gestured to the silent man next to you. “Nanami-san and Yuji organized this whole thing so I could meet you.”

You whipped your head over to look up at him, mouth gaping as his eyes met yours. Serious brown pupils danced as he looked down at you, an eyebrow lifting and the corners of his lips twitching with the hint of a smirk. Of course he would do something like this.

Leave it to Kento to—

“I know with a new baby that things are hectic, and we can easily work with your schedule. But…I would really love to have something of yours in my home.”

The stinging in the back of your eyes was hard to ignore, prickling along the edges of your lashes with every blink as you struggled to maintain your composure. The feel of Kento’s hand, hot and firm against the small of your back, tethered you into this moment. You shot Choso a small smile.

“I would love that.”

You were on cloud nine the entire walk to the car, chatting excitedly to a quiet but listening Kento as he buckled you in and pulled onto the now quiet streets of Nakameguro. Your mind was spinning with the possibilities, already crafting up sketches of what you could make before you realized you were on a familiar elevator and not at the front door of your home.

“Why are we at your apartment? What about Ulani?”

“My parents have volunteered to watch her tonight,” The faint whiff of vanilla hit your nose as you followed him into his home.

“They are staying at your home, so they have everything they need. My mother texted me an hour ago. Ulani is bathed, satiated with a good book, and sleeping. They will take turns at night with her.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, his hand stroking the side of your arm. “Are you comfortable with that?” Even though you were elated for a little more free time, you couldn’t help the twinge of guilt in the pit of your stomach. “Don’t feel guilty, please. My mother practically begged me to watch her. I’ve never seen her glare at me so much in her entire life, when I tried to refuse.”

You couldn’t help the giggle that shot from your throat, your shoulders relaxing as you let the anxiety dissipate into the air. Chiyo and Santo knew what they were doing.

Sensing the shift in you, Kento took your hand in his, squeezing once to spread the warmth up your arm before leading you to his long sofa and setting you down on the cushions. You watched him sink down to his knees in front of you, his mouth in a firm but relaxed line as he reached down to fumble with the strap of your boots, blonde loose hair falling in front of his eyes and concealing his expression from you.

Your teeth dug into the moist skin of your lips, helping the urge to keep yourself quiet as he slid off your shoes and ran warm calloused hands up your stocking covered calves. The urge to tease stabbed the muscles of your cheeks right on cue, your mouth opening as his eyes caught yours.

“You’re plotting something.”

A small huff, the air from his nose brushing against your knuckles as they dug into the material at your knees.

“I appreciate all that you do for Ulani. And while I do what I can, there are some things that biologically I am unable and instinctually that I cannot feel.” With long hands, he reached behind you to unclasp the latch of your silver diamond necklace. “I read that mother’s tend to feel ‘touched out’ after so much physical contact after birth. I try not to touch you as much as I can. In reality, it comes so naturally to me that I hardly notice until it’s already happening. But I know with you constantly having to breastfeed and pick her up and hold her and interact with her day in and day out, you can start to feel as if your body is not your own.”

He took off your earrings and undid the clip in your hair, your curls falling down your back.

“You do so well with her, you’re a lifeline to me in a way that I can’t explain and you guide me with the things I struggle with in my care for her. But I don’t ever want you to feel as if you are drowning. So tonight, you’re going to take a bath and relax and be alone for as long as you want.”

You blinked away the mistiness in your eyes, your heart hammering in your chest from the waves of affection thrumming through your veins. For as much of a gentleman that Kento was, you had expected him to try and make a move on you. But it was your anxiety talking, you knew it was. He knew from your reluctance to look in the mirror and the large shirts you always wore that it would be awhile before you felt comfortable with yourself. He had shown a relaxed side of himself as you both scarfed down greasy food, had shown his care and love by surprising you with a tour and commission from your favorite artist, and now he was showing his devotion and attention to detail by giving you time for yourself.

Kento was of course, being Kento.

You licked your lips, reaching up to brush locks of hair from his forehead and watching with soft revere as they slid back into place.

“And what if I don’t want to be alone?”

“Then you can take a bath and relax…and then we will do whatever you want.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into you and breathing in the richness of his cologne. He reacted on instinct, his own muscular arms wrapping around your waist, his hands rubbing along the clothed skin of your back and his lips pressing into the crease of your neck that had your throat drawing tight and your eyes blinking away another onslaught of tears.

You sniffed harshly against him; your lashes wet as you gazed at your dim reflection in his television.

“I’ll take a bath…but then we could watch the season finale of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City? It’s all over the internet. I think there was a fight.”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

And an hour after you had taken a long hot bath and moisturized your skin and he had braided your hair back before throwing your bonnet on, you relaxed against the soft cushions of his sofa with your bare legs propped on his lap. A pale arm reached for you, his hand outstretched and beckoning before you placed a few kernels of popcorn in his hand. Since playing the episode, his eye’s hadn’t left the screen. You had been in this very position so many times and it still astonished you just how engrossed he could become with a bunch of rich white women bickering at each other. Eyes unblinking, he threw the popcorn in his mouth, chewing softly as Heather Gay screamed at another woman on the television.

A jabbing insult, something that he hadn’t expected, and his eyebrows were twitching in shock before a sharp chuckle shook from his chest.

He needed to be studied.

A flicker of movement made his gaze turn to yours, eyes softening as he took you in. He rubbed the skin of your leg beneath the throw blanket atop of you.

“A good birthday then?”

Another harsh insult, yelling filled with censored sound effects and going on for what felt like a full minute had his eyes flickering back to the screen immediately, his entire face shifting with the surprise of missing something.

You laughed harshly, sighing into the cushions and burrowing further into the blankets. His thumb traced a random pattern on the skin of your knee, his chest shaking in silent laughter as he watched the women bicker.

“Definitely a good birthday.”

***

Kento returned to work in November when Ulani was a little over four months old. You practically forced him out of the house at five am to get him back into the swing of routine with his morning run. And even after making you a small breakfast and getting himself ready for work, he hung by the front door, trying his best to stay close as Ulani looked up at him tiredly from her perch in your arms.

He hated being away from you both. Work wasn’t an issue; he could turn it off and on in the blink of an eye. It was attending meeting after meeting when he could be helping you at home. It was eating lunch with Yuji with a small smile as he listened to him jabber when he would have been much happier if his daughter was in his arms and reaching for his fork. He missed you both.

So, you decided to surprise him at the end of the week with Ulani strapped snuggly to your chest and a bento for lunch. You hadn’t been inside of the office since being let go months before. You hadn’t expected to ever come back really. But thankfully, everyone that remembered you from before flocked to you immediately, cooing over your daughter as she giggled at them. With Mahito’s termination and revelation that he and the higher ups had used your ideas to gain intel from other companies, to everyone else, it was a joy to see you again.

Yaga, who offered you a very affectionate but stiff nod when he saw you, held your daughter with awkward hands, his tall form and stern face only earning him a displeased grunt from her as she wiggled to be let free. His words were always kind, but his demeanor had always rubbed hard as stone on you and others. He loved children but getting the words to come out and be affectionate was never his strength.

Geto, Gojo, and Yuji practically followed you into Kento’s office, falling over each other and trying to garner Ulani’s attention as she reached in their direction.

“I told you, she wants me.” Geto smacked Gojo’s hands away, earning a small yelp from the white haired man and a harsh glare. “Get your nasty, sugar coated hands away—"

Geto stopped talking immediately as Kento stood tall and dominating from his mahogany desk, strode over to you, and plucked his daughter from her carrier. Surprised but serene eyes behind his glasses gazed down at her.

“Hello, my dove.”

She squealed up at him, placing light brown hands on sharp cheekbones and effectively shutting up everyone in the room.

“Stay the rest of the day with me. You and Ulani.”

He muttered the words against the skin of your neck as you packed away the empty containers of both bentos on his desk.

“And where will Ulani go?”

“I brought a playmat from home and its stored in the closet. Just in case.”

You snorted, rolling your eyes playfully as you zipped up the bag.

“And where will I sit?”

“Simple. On my lap.”

The warmth from his chest leeched into the fabric of your shirt, bleeding through the wool of your sweater and onto your skin, goosebumps prickling in response. He kissed the skin softly, pulling a nervous giggle from your throat before you tried to wave him away.

You were getting there. With every touch from him in passing, the responding heat grew more and more, licking against the base of your spine and festering, demanding attention. You wanted him. You always did and you thankfully that feeling was returning since the baby had been born.

But you were so uncomfortable in your body. So unwilling to look in the mirror as you got dressed. So insecure and frustrated when you threw your favorite jeans into the back of your closet because they were too tight.

It was natural to feel this way. It was perfectly normal. But you felt like an alien in your own skin every single day.

He rubbed the sides of your arms, sensing your apprehension and adjusting to the change instantly by placing a kiss to your cheek instead. With your bag in hand and a kicking daughter strapped to your torso, you turned around to face him, your teeth digging into the skin of your bottom lip.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that I—”

“Nanamin! Look who’s here. I didn’t realize your one o’clock appointment would be—”

Gojo stopped short, taking in you and Kento’s close proximity before wincing. Kento’s lunch hour had ended awhile ago and he had procrastinated just to keep you and Ulani with him longer.

Kento sighed softly to himself, waves of impatience hitting you from his breath as he straightened up and pressed his glasses further up his nose. You turned around to face Gojo, ready to make for the door, and suddenly wished you hadn’t.

Because Kento’s one o’clock appointment was a woman who was already smiling at you both. Taller than you but shorter than him, a strong jawline and button nose, a top lip slightly heavier than the bottom, prominent cheekbones and deep brown eyes framed with thick lashes. She was fucking beautiful. Her thick eyebrows had been plucked and grown out to look like the most natural thing in the world, her dark brown wavy hair hung loose over her shoulder, and her olive skin was covered in a sleek black dress and modest pumps.

What the fuck kind of appointment was this going to be?

“Kento. It’s so good to see you.”

And on a first name basis?

The smooth syllables of her voice sang sinfully in your ear. The rich Italian accent wasn’t hard to miss, it was heavy and fluid, clipping the edges of her words and making her slightly raspy tone more beautiful than what you wanted it to be.

Kento cleared his throat from behind you, shooting cold water down your spine and pulling your gaze away from her and to him. His eyes seemed…hesitant?

“Pia. It’s nice to see you as well. I’d like you to meet y/n, my partner. And this is our daughter.” Almond shaped eyes met yours again, a pearly white smile flashing at you and smacking you in the face.

What the fuck?

While you were thankful that Kento had immediately introduced you, you suddenly felt out of place between them all. Gojo with his beautiful snow white hair and ethereal blue eyes all wrapped up in expensive clothing, Kento with his own crisp tan slacks and blue button up, his yellow tie speckled black in that same outfit you had met him in, and this woman who you didn’t know, shining so brightly at you and making you feel weird and uncomfortable and insecure in your simple oversized sweater and jeans.

“Y/n, this is Pia Ranello, she represents a reputable wine company in Italy and is recruiting the company’s help for marketing in Japan. I thought they were sending your Director of Marketing here instead.”

Pia scoffed, waving an elegantly manicured hand, thin fingers brushing her hair off her shoulder and her throat shaking out a melodious laugh.

“When I heard you would be here, I jumped at the opportunity. Don’t be so rigid, Kento.” She rolled her eyes playfully, brown twinkling irises landing on you as she smiled again. “We used to date. Freshman through senior year of college.”

Huh?

“Is that so?” you masked the shock with a thin and tattered blanket of sarcasm, a small chuckle escaping your mouth as you glanced at Kento. His eyes were stoic and unmoving as ever, the most serious you had ever seen them and flickering between Gojo and Pia. “I’m sure his stoicism hasn’t changed them?”

A stupid giggle. “Not at all.”

A displeased noise from Ulani sprung you into action. Hopefully she was just as unhappy as you were. You squeezed the muscle of his clothed bicep, pulling his attention down to you so you could offer him a simple smile.

“I’ll see you later today. Have a good rest of your day.”

He leaned down before you had finished speaking, pressing a warm kiss to your cheek before returning the sentiment. You muttered a quick ‘nice to meet you’ in her direction and shot Gojo an annoyed glare before slinking past them both and out the door.

***

“Represents a reputable wine company, my ass! She’s a fucking wine magnate! Gojo said that they might have to go to Italy for this ‘project’ with her. I swear I’ll rip every last blonde hair from his head if Kento even approaches an airport.”

You rolled your eyes as Ome growled through the speaker of your phone, silver eyes glaring and unfocused on the shared screen as you watched her search the internet. Ulani was nursing in your lap, humming softly and fighting sleep. It was almost seven pm, and the quick phone call a few hours prior letting you know he would be working overtime for the first time since you both started dating, had your stomach in knots.

It was fine. Just overtime. Things happen.

It’s fine.

When she called you, you had barely gotten the threat to leave the subject alone before she was pulling up Instagram and digging in without a second thought.

You watched Ome scroll through her feed, doing your best to ignore the many shots on the beach, and exploits across the globe. She was dressed in every color under the sun, her olive skin glistening no matter the time of day, weather, or facial expression. They were simple pictures, but it showed that she was always on the go and always living in the most luxurious of standards. But those pictures soon gave way to single shots of her; dresses and outfits that were the most beautiful you had ever seen, hairstyles of grandeur and makeup of different shades that only enhanced her beauty as she walked across a catwalk in different shows.

“What year did Kento graduate college?”

“2016.”

You could tell where this was going, didn’t want to even admit the possibility. But the minute Ome clicked a photo and brought up an enhanced shot of her in a loose sage gown by Tony Ward, the date showing this was well into her college years, you knew.

“He dated a fucking supermodel.”

Your knotted stomach twisted tighter, pain shooting up your spine and making your eyes flutter.

“I don’t want to look anymore.”

She wasn’t listening, scrolling further and further down, getting earlier in the years. And then your heart stopped entirely. At the bottom of her profile, the very first photo she had posted, was a picture of them both. It was a shot she had clearly taken, only her legs visible as she sat stretched on a couch, a t-shirt stopping at the middle of her thighs and socked feet resting on the blanketed lap of a man. His face was obscured behind a book, head resting on the side of the cushion. But the messy, thick tufts of blonde hair were unmistakable. So was the familiar long fingers that had touched and caressed you that now lay on her legs in the photo.

“I said no more,” you snapped at her. Ulani wiggled in distress against you, settling back into your embrace immediately before she was humming and making noises again. Ome closed out of the app immediately, her face coming into view, guilty and surprised.

“I deserved that.”

You shook your head. “No, you don’t. I’m overreacting, I know I am. But…fuck if you saw her today Ome. I’m not a jealous person but she was fucking beautiful.”

“So are you.” You opened your mouth to argue with her but was immediately interrupted. “Stop it. You gave birth to an ENTIRE child. You were beautiful before, and you’re fucking gorgeous now. Ulani keeps me from throttling you, I swear. This feeling will pass, I promise you. And I’ll be there to help you along the way, okay?” You stroked the skin of your daughter’s cheek, earning a sleepy glance your way as she nursed. “How about we find and slash the tires of her limo that we both know she’s using to drive around.”

The comment pulled a surprised chuckle from your throat, Ome’s own raspy laugh pushing out the speaker and echoing through the room of your daughter’s nursery.

You were combing through wet hair, a thin robe covering your slightly damp skin when you heard the front door unlock and open. It was late, far past seven pm and far past your comfort when you thought about it. He was only working.

He wouldn’t do anything. Kento would never.

He wouldn’t.

But those familiar tendrils of anxiety, taunting and slimy, began to circle the exposed and moisturized skin of your calves as you stood up to make your way inside the large master bathroom. It was easier to look at your reflection when you had something on. Your eyes could rest easy as you plaited your hair and moisturized your arms. Pia’s body was probably naturally silky. The water in her shower no doubt danced off her skin as she bathed. It was probably soft and without blemish when Kento would bend her over bed and fuck her until—

Stop. Stop. Stop.

You shook away the thoughts, smoothing the last remnants of facial moisturizer on your cheek as the bathroom door opened and Kento leaned against the frame. His hair was free of gel, his glasses and tie gone, the top two buttons of his shirt taken loose.

“You’re upset with me.”

You fiddled with the end of one of your braids, twirling a finger around the damp strands.

“You never work overtime.” You couldn’t help how sarcastic your tone was as the words left you, your heart pumping irregularly against the inside of your chest. You back peddled. “Which is fine! I know that this project is pretty important—”

“It’s not.”

“And as a Director, you need to make sure things are in order and flowing in the right direction—”

“My love—”

You flinched from the name, interrupting again. “And Gojo says that you might have to go to Italy with her. Which would be a great opportunity to get the company notoriety in another country—”

“Y/n.”

Firm and steely, his voice low and heavy with that deep timbre that could make you do just about anything.

“Yes?”

“I’m not going to Italy.”

Oh.

“I spent my entire day working with her and Yaga so that I could pass the project on to someone else. The content schedule, marketing plan, a work agreement, and deliverables have been drafted up and the budget has been pushed to finance. While she will be in the office, I will have no dealings with her and once the project is done, she will be back in Italy for the foreseeable future.”

Oh.

You swallowed the sharp lump in your throat, the edges slicing the muscle and making your brows furrow as you thought of what to say.

And of course, you decided to put your foot in your mouth.

“It’s a shame you won’t see her as often. I’m sure you’ve missed her.”

“I beg your pardon?”

You fucking idiot.

Guilt licked your skin, its acid like touch making your body sting as you harnessed that small bucket of defiance that you usually used for moments like this and met his gaze. Fiery brown eyes met your own, dark blonde eyebrows arching in shock and confusion from your words.

“I said that I’m sure you’ve missed her. You dated for four years. All throughout college. She was a supermodel, and now she’s a fucking wine magnate. W-why wouldn’t you want to see her??”

He pushed from the door frame and was in your space before you could blink, his broad chest blocking the low lights of your bathroom, the faint scent of his favorite cologne fanning up your nose and making you dizzy. He was so close, every breath between you both brushed your robe covered chest against his shirt.

“What else then?”

You faltered from his question, trying to dig through the stony but heady gaze that was directed at you as you swallowed a flutter of butterflies before they could fly from your throat.

“And…and she’s beautiful really. She seems smart if she’s running her company. She’s successful and she’s traveled a lot and has money.”

“You’re rambling.”

You were. But you were also trying desperately to stay afloat as you felt him press impossibly closer to you. The feel of your bathroom counter brushing the fabric on your back had you staggering, hands reaching back to grip the cold stone and a shaky breath leaving your lungs.

“Do you doubt my loyalty to you?”

You shook your head immediately, all anxious thoughts of him coming home so late leaving you and ignoring the sudden sting in your eyes as you felt the last fragments of your defiance fade away between the small space of you both.

“I don’t. It’s just…how could you break up with something like that? She was apparently everything you wanted back then. But instead, you’ve settled with someone who sticks out like a sore thumb in this entire country. Who got laid off from her own fucking job and has a terrible relationship with her own family and who spends her free time playing with clay and paint. You settled with someone that can’t even look in the mirror at herself because all she sees are scars and body dysmorphia that’s so overwhelming that most of the time she can hardly breathe.”

What was left of your control of your tongue snapped and cracked against the muscle, flinching to yourself as you shook out another uneasy breath and pulled your gaze from him. All of your worries, all of your insecurities and self-conscious thoughts of not only this week, but since Ulani had been born had suddenly been brought to the forefront and pushed between you both, escaping your mouth with no intention of holding back.

“I’m not a jealous person. I never have been. But it’s so hard for me to feel like myself when the mothers I see on my walks with Chiyo with babies Ulani’s age look just like Pia. I know this will get better. I don’t want to look like a fucking model. I just want to feel comfortable. I shouldn’t be so self-deprecating. Lately, it’s just hard not to be. I’ve never felt more insecure and out of my skin and hideous in my entire life.”

You blinked away the thick tears in your eyes, cursing sharply into the stiff air of your bathroom as you wiped the tears roughly from your cheeks. The embarrassment and shame was so thick in your stomach, heavy as lead and churning to make you nauseous. You wanted to walk away from him, bury yourself beneath the duvet on your bed and hide away until you could stomach your own existence again.

He was silent for far too long, his eyes taking you in as he watched you wipe away your tears with a frustrated expression. He had known you were struggling, had tried his very best to make you feel seen and loved without overwhelming you. But now he could finally see just how broken down you were. He had underestimated it all. In his eyes, you were beautiful. He had felt that way even when he couldn’t stand your presence, had felt that way as he watched Ulani grow within you, and had felt that way to a much higher degree as he watched you crying, screaming, and sweaty in his arms as you did the one thing not many could do.

And now you were struggling to stay afloat, struggling to look at yourself and see that to him, you were everything in whatever form you came.

He pulled in a slow, relaxed breath, empathetic and serious eyes watching you try to pull yourself together as he spoke.

“I broke up with Pia our senior year. I loved her, or at least I thought I did and she helped me not be so awkward and stiff around others. But we were completely different people. At first she was loving and kind. But eventually she grew vindictive and crude to others and it took me a long time to see because she was my first love. She fell into modeling because it was easy for her and many already looked to her because of her beauty. She became a wine magnate because her father owns a multibillion dollar company and left it to her in the will when he passed away a few years ago. She came to my company because she has no idea what she is doing and thought she could get a discount on the budget because she knows me.”

Of course, there was a logical explanation. Of fucking course.

You couldn’t help the blush of embarrassment that colored your cheeks as his clarifying words settled on your shoulders. Your teeth worried your bottom lip, pulling and kneading at the already split muscle while you kept your eyes focused on his sock covered feet on your shiny bathroom floor.

A press of his thumb to your bottom lip made you jump and with a small tug he pulled your lip free before smoothing over the split skin with the pad of his finger. It trailed down the short span of your chin, applying small pressure and pulling your head up to meet his commanding gaze.

“Yes, Pia is beautiful. But when I look at her, I do not see much else besides the reasons I would never want to be with her again. When I look at her, I don’t see her snapping at me because I didn’t agree with her ideas or slapping me across the face because I spoke disrespectfully or challenging me every day to do better and not run away from myself.”

You made to turn your head away, but his gentle grip on your chin tightened slightly, pulling you back to face him wordlessly. He stroked the drying streaks of tears from the sides of your face, the warmth from his hands making the blood in your cheeks boil and the blush deepen against him.

“When I look at her, I don’t see someone who can touch anything and make it beautiful or someone who gave me a child…or someone that I want a future with.”

Your caught the slight crease between his brows and the flash of pain in his irises.

“Stop comparing yourself to Pia. The line between you and her or any other woman in my life, is and always will be nonexistent.”

The words fell from his lips with not a care in the world, so natural and free and without a second thought. The feel of his hands on your upper arms caught you by surprise, but you were swallowing the question as he gently turned you around to face the long mirror in your bathroom. Only the lights above your shower and along the mirror in front of you were on; the shadows casting against the sharp cheekbones of Kento’s face as he looked at you in your reflections made you bite the inside of your cheek. 

“Do you remember what you did for me? When I was the most intoxicated I had ever been in my life and grieving over Yu?” You nodded, your tongue thick in your mouth, you skin humming with static as you felt and watched him take your thick braids loose. “I knew exactly what I needed to do to cope and never had the strength; and you made me see reason. You walked into my house and turned me the way I needed to so that I could heal the right way. Shall I do the same for you?”

“Kento—”

“You never look in the mirror when you get dressed, and that simply won’t do. Not tonight.”

You could taste the apprehension in the air as he spoke, your hands wringing together to fight off the nerves as you dug them into the thin cotton of your robe. Your hair, now unbraided and slightly damp, brushed against the fabric of your back, providing a thin cushion between you and the warmth of Kento’s chest. Your curls framed the sides of your face, dark tendrils pressing to the skin of your cheeks and neck as you felt his hands slide along the covered skin of your back and down to wrap around your waist. The whiff of his cologne was sharp, caressing your body and massaging along the goosebumps that had sprouted again beneath your robe.

“Look in the mirror.”

Even though his words were gentle, there was no mistaking the demand that was buried beneath. With a thick swallow, you slid your eyes up to your reflection. Your breathing was uneven and staggering as you leaned into his embrace. Your cheeks were darker with blush, your eyebrows pinched with worry as you met his gaze. Long fingers ran over the tie of your robe, his veiny forearms flexing from the movement of his tendons as he pulled the tie loose.

You grabbed his hands harshly, your fingers digging into the skin of the tops of his palms, your eyes widening at the sight of your white panties and the exposed skin above it. Your heart hammered in your chest, those tendrils of anxiety chuckling evilly as they coiled around your arms like a snake and plucked painfully at the sides of your fingers, beckoning for you to let go.

“Kento.”

“Do you wish for me to stop?”

The question made you pause, the sincerity in his voice laced with concern and regard for your own comfort. You pushed back against the insistence of your nerves, ignored the burning sensation inside of you as they distressed at the ends. In the mirror, you watched your fingers relax against him, crescent moons from your nails popping against the stretch of smooth skin. You couldn’t stop the slight tremble in your body as your hands fell to your sides and your robe fell open, revealing the soft skin of your belly and the corners of your breasts.

His gaze watched you as you remained locked on his fingers while they splayed along the skin of your stomach. What was once barely noticeable planes of muscle had stretched to their limit to accommodate a child. And now, those planes were gone, smoothed over with skin that was littered in stretch marks along your sides and around your belly button. They were faint and while you knew they would fade into practically nothing overtime, in your eyes they were as bright as the sun, blaring like sirens and screaming at you every time you looked down.

But Kento traced the marks as if they were the most precious things to him, the pads of his fingers skimming along the minutely raised and shiny skin. His adoration for you was abundant, emanating from the tips of his fingers as they traced from beginning to end, relaxing you slowly, loving you slowly. Warmth slid up the sides of your torso, caressing the skin still covered as he trailed them up your arms and to the tops of your shoulders. He worried the hem of your robe for only a second before hooking a finger beneath each side and sliding the garment off your shoulders so it could pool on the floor.

You were quick to cover your breasts with one hand, your body shaking from the cold air hitting the rest of your skin and the exposure of being laid out in front of him. One hand rested against the curve of your waist while the other trailed along the skin of your arm, covering your hand and stroking the skin of the back of your palm. With each soft stroke he asked for permission wordlessly, caressed your nerves until they were compressed enough to help you breath just a little easier.

You sighed shakily, fingers flinching against him as they relaxed with his touch and fell away to rest at your side. Your breasts had changed, bigger but not by much and nipples a little perter because of pumping and breastfeeding. But lately when you looked at them, they only felt like tools for sustenance, not the appealing or sexy like you felt before.

He brushed the curls off your shoulders, exposing your entire front before wrapping his arms around your chest and resting his chin on your shoulder. You looked away quickly, focusing on the marble of your countertop instead. You could feel his gaze through your reflection roving over your body, taking in every inch of you.

“Look at me.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, pursing your lips to fight off a sneer as his words poked at you.

“Y/n.” Firmer this time and more insistent, your eyes flickering up to meet his in the mirror.

“I can talk until I am blue in the face, because at the end of the day your feelings are yours and yours alone. But I need you to understand that this is beautiful.” His hands traced along the sides of your thicker thighs, pressing into the skin to watch it pillow and dimple around his fingers. They slid up to caress your stretch marks again, bringing fire in their wake with his words and burning a trail to the spot between your legs that you hadn’t thought about in months. “These, something that shows just how far your body would go to bring our daughter into this world…these are beautiful.”

You melted further into him, letting the hard muscle of his chest mold against your back and the bracketing of his arms around you sink further into the skin of your waist. The place between your thighs roaring slowly to life, embers licking low and steady as they pressed against the tight cage of your repressed libido. Fingertips of his thumbs traced lightly against the skin on the side and under your breast, the skin jiggling from your staggered breath at his touch.

“Every inch of you is the most beautiful thing I have and will ever see. Like you say, with time, that feeling will pass. But I need you to understand that every part of you is beauty. The only flaw that I see is your own reluctance to understand that.”

You blinked away the fogginess in your vision, your eyes betraying you as he studied your expression in the mirror, unmoving, breath fanning against your neck as his chin remained perched on your shoulder.

“And you still want me?”

“You know the answer to that question, and it will never change.”

His answer was instant and resolute, his tone without any modicum of hesitation. The corners of your lips curled just so, offering him a gentle smile as he glared playfully at you in the mirror.

“Would you like me to show you?”

Your ears were ringing from the question, high decibels blaring down your eardrums as you grew hot all over. One of his hands brushed your curls over one shoulder, exposing the side of your neck to him.

“I…I suppose you could. Will you be fair?

A chuckle into your neck as full lips pressed against the skin made your stomach flutter.

“Always.”

“A near naked woman in your arms and you lie through your teeth. I should have expected as much.”

Another chuckle, sharper this time and filled with warmth, his arms wrapping around your waist again and pulling you close, nuzzling his neck into the heat of your skin and inhaling the smell of your lilac body wash. The sound of him against you, rumbling your anxiety loose and pushing it away, made your stomach swoop in sudden lust as you felt his hand brush along the hem of your panties.

Your skin twitched to the touch, arching away from the stimulation and then relaxing against his fingers as they danced against you. You watched them in the mirror, flicking the edge of your underwear, his lips pressing a kiss behind your ear before he slid his hand down. You gasped sharply at the feeling of him on you and sliding a finger between your folds, pushing through surprising wetness.

You were worried that with breastfeeding it would be next to impossible to feel this way again and while you weren’t all the way to feeling like you were before, you were so fucking thankful that you could get wet, let alone be aroused at his touch. One of your hands grabbed him, keeping you trussed to his actions so you could fall into his practiced hands as two thick digits circled your clit. The whine that oozed out of your throat creaked from a place inside of you that was slowly coming alive, desire fanning the flames in your belly to make them grow more and more as you felt him dip his middle finger down to gather the slick at your entrance.

“Don’t look away or else I’ll have to stop.”

Your eyes slid back up to meet your own, cheeks ruddy with mild awkwardness as you watched him trail his other hand up your torso to palm your breast. He was gentle with you, caressing your skin and reveling in your breathy sighs as he stroked your clit in the way he knew. The base of your spine tensed, sparks of that white hot feeling you loved beginning to tease you from the inside out and pull you tight. His breath against your neck was deep and slow, trying to keep himself composed even though his own cock was twitching in his pants with every wet swipe of his fingers against you. You were holding back, still too tense against him and fighting the pleasure to just let go and allow him to take you exactly where you wanted to be.

A twist of your nipple made you yelp, painful pleasure zipping down your spine and festering with the boiling of heat at the base of you. You moaned, relaxing into him all the way. Finally.

“There she is,” he whispered into the skin behind your ear, picking up the tempo of his fingers on your clit and tweaking the nipple that was in his other hands, his fingers slightly wet from a little breastmilk. You blushed harder at the sight, mortified even though you were whining as he pinched and tweaked.

He loved you in every way, in every shape, in every form; but watching you fall apart against him always held a special place in his mind. It was sacred, locked away and only to be looked at unless it was just you both.

“Kento,” you shook out against him, the hand not clenching the arm in your panties shooting up to bury in his hair, fingers tightening in his locks. The muscles in your lower back wound tighter, heat licking your skin, burning your muscles and making you shake against him as your first orgasm in months can brimming to the surface.

“I’ll give you whatever you want. Whatever you desire.” His words were whispered sin, dripping like honey on the skin of your neck that had you whining harshly in response and your cunt dripping against his fingers. “But look at me first.”

You obeyed immediately, snapping your gaze to his and swallowing the gasp at the dark gaze staring back at you. Thin rings of brown were hooded, shrouded by thick lashes and a layer of blonde hair over his eyebrows as he leered at you through the mirror. He wasn’t even fingering you and your body was trembling with a release that you knew would be thunderous.

Your eyes honed on the movement of him behind your panties, the fabric rustling with the flex of his fingers as he stroked you once and then twice, pulling that heat of pleasure up from the base of your spine and through your skin. You hiccupped, gasping harshly, arching against him as you buried your head into his shoulder behind you and crying out softly into the air of your bathroom. Your muscles spasmed, squeezing tight in muscle memory as your orgasm washed over you in one hot wave.

He slowed his strokes, tracing gently against your clit and kissing along the side of your throat as you panted against him.

“More.”

Your back rumbled from the tenor of his voice as he chuckled against you, continuing to trace your clit with messy fingers. You whined against the overstimulation even though you could taste the hints of pleasure beneath.

“Tell me what you want.”

You pressed your hand against his still in your underwear, brushing him firmly against your clit and guiding him further, two of his fingers could slide into your entrance with only a little resistance.

He exhaled against you, cock throbbing painfully along the seam of his slacks as you whimpered from his movement inside of you. You whispered his name into the air, your head lolling back onto his shoulder as you pushing his fingers harder into your cunt, silently demanding that he finger you deeper. And like a sirens call, he obeyed you without complaint, sliding another to make three as he pumped over and over, his fingers covered in copious and shocking amounts of your slick, stretching you in the way you wanted so you could demand his cock after another orgasm.

And it didn’t take long before you were arching against him again, squeezing his fingers and pulling a hot groan against the skin of your neck as another orgasm washed over you minutes later, your body sweaty against the clothes he was still wearing. He pressed a searing kiss to the skin of your neck, shaking out a staggering breath against you. He was practically tearing through his slacks, aching and hot against the cleft of your ass as he refrained from rutting against you. You watched with panting breaths as he popped each slick covered finger into his mouth, cleaning the digits with his eyes locked on yours through your reflection. Your stomach gave a heaving lurch at the sight, your mouth opening of its own volition and spilling out the very first thought in your lust addled mind.

“More…please more. I need you.”

He didn’t give it a second thought.

The sound of his zipper and belt coming undone made your heart soar in your chest, your thick and hot blood pumping faster through your veins as you watched him in the mirror. His hair was a mess, free of its typical part and gel and brushing against his eyebrows with movement as he freed himself from the confines of his pants, the cold air making him hiss against the skin of your shoulder.

You leaned forward without having to be told to rest your hands on your bathroom counter, exposing more of his torso to you in the mirror as you got into position. His blue shirt was ruffled, the top buttons still undone and free from a tie as he breathed heavily. The brown slacks had been opened, the zipper and belt askew and his cock hanging hot and thick in between, red at the tip and twitching to be inside of you. He couldn’t help the groan in the back of his throat as he took in the length of your naked back as you stretched out for him, dark curly hair falling over your shoulders as he trailed a hand down your skin.

You jumped from the feel of his lips against the small of your back, kissing up your spine and making your skin prickle with his trailing touch. You turned your head to take in his heated expression, blown out pupils and ruddy cheeks, messy blonde hair and hot hands against your waist before he kissed you for the first time since walking into the house. It was messy and quick, filled with love but desperate to focus back on the task at hand.

“Keep your hands on the counter and don’t look away. Can you do that for me?”

You nodded wordlessly, earning another wet kiss to your lips before one of his hands gripped your chin and turned you gently to face your reflection. The press of him against wet folds made you gasp, your mind suddenly thankful you made Dr. Williams triple check the placement of your IUD after your six week checkup. While you loved Ulani with your entire being, you didn’t want another child anytime soon.

The stretch of him inside you felt like the greatest high, reigniting dormant nerves and zipping electricity along your spine as you moaned softly from the feel of your body making room. It had been too long without him and even though your muscles fought through the stretch, you welcomed him again with a grip that had him groaning softly into the space between your shoulder blades. Your lashes fluttered and your throat struggled to swallow around the saliva pooling in the back of your mouth. So full, so, so full and stretching you to the point until you felt that familiar twinge of pain before it subsided and faded away. The feeling of his hips flush against you made you whimper into the air, your shoulders shaking as you held yourself up.

He started slow, using the signals from your body to guide him into a rhythm that helped you accommodate to him after so long. You kept your eyes open, his demands replaying in your head as you fought through the shame of looking at yourself sweaty and exposed, mouth parted and whimpering as he thrust through wet rings of muscle.

You had read so many stories. Postpartum mothers who couldn’t even enjoy sex almost a year after birth. But thankfully not you. You were so happy that you could enjoy this, so fucking elated that you were dripping and wanting for him, accepting him inside you without dryness or complaint. You thought it would be so much worse. You were lucky, lucky and head in the clouds from two orgasms and a thick cock that you missed so much picking up its pace inside of you.

“You see how beautiful you are to me?”

You couldn’t respond, couldn’t even begin to form words as that haze of lust and pleasure began to cloud every inch of your mind. The steady strokes of him dug deep, kissing spots inside of you that only he could touch, only he would ever know, only he would be able to pick apart over and over until you were a sobbing, moaning, panting mess.

Dark eyes glinted at you through the mirror, muscular hips delivering a sharp thrust that made you moan in response, your lips parting and teeth catching the plushness of your bottom lip, digging into the flesh hard so you could keep quiet while your daughter slept.

You didn’t have to tell him what spot to touch or what angle to fuck you. He knew, had perfected the art in only a short time, and already that coil of pleasure was tightening like a vice in your stomach, your muscles pulling taught and fingers sliding against the cool marble of your countertop as you tried to ground yourself into the present.

He caught on, he always did, bringing one of your legs up and bending it to rest on the counter, opening yourself up further for him and pulling another loud moan from your lips as your muscles tightened further and further, your cunt squeezing and tightening, milking him for all he was worth as your orgasm teased along every inch of your skin.

“So long, so long since I’ve had you and you’re just as tight. Just as beautiful. Taking me as if no time has passed at all.”

With another harsh thrust, your mind had slipped away entirely, whimpers and moans leaving your lips of their own accord as he began to fuck you with an intensity that had you choking on a hiccup.

“You honestly think I would look at anyone else?”

His voice was dark against you, hot and dominating against your skin. You met his gaze in the mirror, shaking your head quickly in response as your tongue rocked dry and thick in your mouth. Satisfied with your response, he brought one hand to wrap around your upper torso sliding beneath your breasts and pulling you up and against him, arching your back and displaying your entire form into the mirror as he fucked you at a pace that brought stars into your vision.

“I don’t want anyone else,” he whispered into your ear, hot breath puffing and dispelling your hair that was matted to your cheek.

“I’ll never want anyone else. I would tear down the world for you, do anything you asked of me, give you whatever you wanted.”

“Please, please, please,” you were chanting airily against him, body practically limp in his arms and numb with pleasure as he brushed against the spongy wall inside of you, sending jolt after jolt of pleasure through the fluttering cunt around him and to the pool of heat in your lower back. “Oh god, Kento.”

“Tell me how it feels. Tell me what you want from me and I’ll give you it all.”

The demand pulled a shudder against him, your eyes locked with his in the mirror as you molded parted lips to speak.

“Harder…so good. Fucking me so w-well. I can’t—”

“You can.”

A sharp whine shook from your mouth, eyes rolling before meeting his again, moans growing in length as he snapped over and over inside of you, brushing against those spots inside of you with a precision that never failed to make you breathless.

“Stop doubting my love and devotion to you. I’m yours, always. And you’re mine. Always mine. Forever mine.”

You nodded breathlessly, agreeing but unable to speak as moan after moan shook from your dry throat, saliva dried up and tongue thick in the back of your mouth. Your entire body was on fire, your skin sweaty, your lungs burning with each ragged breath that shook from you too soon. You were taut like a wire, each end pulling and pulling, the strands trembling from the force and screaming to snap as he drove up into you.

You couldn’t take much more, the lines of pleasure and overstimulation blurring together and creating a sensation that had left you delirious. You had been cracked open, laid bare with every insecurity since giving birth and forced to realize just how little he agreed, how little believed of the irrational thoughts in your head.

And as if he could read your mind, the hand on your waist slid down to your core, stroking your clit and pulling a jagged yelp out of your throat from the contact.

He knew every tell of your body, your skin carved with the most ancient of languages that only he could read and understand. He was everything you would ever want, everything you would ever need.

Only Kento.

“Tell me.”

It was a demand repeated so often when you both made love. He had to know he was making you feel good, needed to hear the words come from your mouth through staggered breath in a staccato that had become his favorite song. Your words filled him with pride, with love, with satisfaction in knowing he was bringing you to nirvana with the swing of his hips, and the words from his mouth, and his hands on your skin.

From the cadence of his breath against you, you could tell that he was close. You were right there as well, pushed to the edge of the cliff and begging for something to finally tip you over the edge.

“I love the way you fuck me.”

He groaned against you in response, digging his teeth into the crease of your neck and pulling a sharp gasp from you as his thrusts grew more insistent, more rushed, more sloppy.

“More,” he growled, pulling a shudder down your spine.

“You…you always know just what to do. You always know just how I like it. You always can fuck me so well. I love it.”

He could barely see, spots in his vision, his balls drawing tight with each stroke as the promise of an orgasm grew closer with each clench of your walls around him. He was almost there and so were you, so fucking close.

“Oh please Kento—I’m going to cum! Please—”

“What are you?”

“Yours! I’m yours, always! Ken—”

The flicker of the nickname tugged a pleasing jolt behind his belly button. He groaned harshly against you, soft moans fanning over your neck as he slid next to you on that cliff, clasping your hands with his. He stroked your clit faster, applying pressure to the bundle of nerves that had you flinching harshly against him in surprise and another yelp bubbling to the surface. A warm hand clasped over your mouth, covering the noise that left you before it could escape to the open air and waft down to the nursery where Ulani slept.

You cunt spasmed around him, signaling the brief lapse of time before you were ready to let go. He caught on immediately, licking the skin of your ear and biting your earlobe before sighing against you.

“You can do it, love. I can feel you right there. Look me in the eyes and cum on my cock like the sweet little thing you are.”

That was all it took, blown out eyes meeting your own, a large hand covering your mouth, another digging into the flesh of your breasts, and one, two, three fluid and sharp strokes against the sponginess of your walls before you were shaking and drawing tight, eyes fluttering to stay open as you wailed against his hand.

Your eyes clenched shut from the force, the corners prickling with faint tears from the strength as you moaned against him. Your orgasm was stronger than the last two, yanking what little energy you had left and leaving exhaustion in its wake as your muscles bunched and contracted against each other, hot pleasure oozing along the crevices of your vertebrae and pooling to cooling lava at the base of your spine.

The feel of you around him pushed him over, his hands tightening against your breast and over your mouth before pushing one last sharp thrust inside of you, his teeth digging into your neck and a harsh moan thrumming against the skin as his cock twitched violently before spilling inside the heat of your weakening walls.

You whined into the hand on your mouth, panting against his clothed form as his hand slipped away and his forehead pressed into the sweaty skin of your neck. The feel of him breathing against you and the smell of his cologne caressed your twitching muscles, leaving you exhausted but so satisfied that you couldn’t help the small smile that pulled on your lips.

You didn’t know how much time had passed before you felt Kento’s lips against your neck and shoulder, his own dying breaths making the sweat cool on your skin. He slid out of you slowly, rubbing your arm in comfort as you winced a little from the exit. His hand was in yours before you could say anything, guiding you to the toilet and plopping you down, shooting you an arched eyebrow in silent command as he turned around to clean himself up.

The familiar embers of his aftercare routine roared to life, giving you a little privacy so you could pee and wash your hands before he was hovering and fussing with practiced hands. He disappeared into your closet, coming back with one of his t-shirts and shrugging it on you before manhandling you again to face the mirror. You bit down the urge to laugh, your heart pumping with warmth and satisfaction as he braided your hair and slid on your bonnet. A kiss to each shoulder, firm hands rubbing the muscles of your thighs and back, and a glass of water that he made you drink, staying rooted to his spot and eyes locked on yours until you complied.

Satisfied with his work, he turned you around to face him, softness radiating through the familiar seriousness in his stare and a small smile curling on his lips as he leaned down to press slightly chapped lips to yours. When he pulled away, you opened your mouth to speak, hesitating over a sudden rush of vulnerability before you smiled up at him.

“Thank you, for being you.”

He didn’t respond, content to stroke the skin of your cheek with a thumb before he was pulling you close, wrapping his arms around your waist and hugging you tight against him. His throat was tight as he swallowed, the backs of his eyes stinging and eyelids blinking away tears before they could form as the lilac scent from your body wash and intoxication aroma of the shea butter against your neck drifted up his nose.

Ulani’s cries through the baby monitor on your vanity rung in the air, slicing through the happy moment and pulling a tired giggle from you before he was leaning down again to press another kiss to your lips.

“I’ll get her,” he whispered, stroking the skin of your cheek once more before slipping away.

And almost an hour later, when it was well past midnight as he slumped into bed and pulled you close, his eucalyptus shampoo from slightly damn hair hitting your senses, you found that those tendrils of anxiety and insecurity had died down to an almost undetectable level.

Earlier today you had walked into your house on the verge of tears, nerves frayed with anxiety and body shaking with jealousy, irrational implications and insecurities.

And by the end of the night, he had reassured you in a way that only he could, caressed you and loved you in a way that no man would ever be able to.

As he mumbled a tired goodnight against the skin of your neck and began to snore not even two minutes later, you realized that Kento wasn’t going anywhere without you.

[toxic3mmy]

haiiii :3 can you perhaps do alex comforting you after you find out you guys are pregnant? >~<

ummm yes!!!!!! is that even a question!!!!

prompt: you find out you and alex are pregnant together

no warnings! fluff!!!!

you found yourself pacing back and forth in your restroom. you were practically biting your nails completely off as you waited. finally your phone timer vibrated. you sat on the toilet lid and took a deep breath.

the pregnancy test was laid in your hand. you slowly flipped it over and saw those two little lines. you didn’t know what to do.

of course you were ecstatic! ever since you got with alexis, you decided that you wanted a family with him. it was just… very unexpected and a lot earlier than you planned. you hadn’t even brought up family making talk with alex.

oh god, alex…

as if on cue, a light knock on the restroom door brought you back down to earth.

“baby? are you okay? you’ve been in there for quite some time…” he jingled the doorknob to let him in

you quickly looked everywhere for a hiding spot for the pregnancy test and the box it came. you shoved it under the sink and pulled yourself together.

you slowly unlock the door and put on a fake smile for your boyfriend.

“hi”

“what’s wrong? were you throwing up again or?” he asked, worry written all over his face

“no i was um pooping… i had a coffee earlier and it did not settle well in my stomach” you laughed, trying to seem normal. you needed time to prepare for the talk with alex. you had absolutely no clue of how he’d react to the news.

“i told you too much caffeine is bad for ya… well, sorry for interrupting you. i thought something was wrong. i’ll leave you to it then” he laughed lightly

and just like a god damn miracle, the box flopped out from under the sink. you should’ve cleaned that cabinet out a long time ago. it was so full that the damn pregnancy test just decided to show itself. your eyes teared up as alex walked forward and pulled out the test from inside the box.

“y/n… is this? is this real? please tell me it’s a prank..”

anger filled within you. he wanted this to be a joke?!

“i knew you would react like this! i don’t need you! i don’t need anyone! i can raise my baby alone!” tears were now streaming down your face as you spoke

alex had a sad look on his face. he stepped forward and grabbed your face in his warm hands. you sniffled and looked at him.

“baby girl… i never said i didnt want the baby. yeah, it’s a little bit early but i would never hesitate to raise a baby with you. i want to be the baby’s father.” he gently dried your face of tears

“you mean that?”

“of course i do y/n. you had me worried.. i thought you would force me to leave you or assume i wanted you to have an abortion. i want you and.. i want the baby” he smiled softly, relief evident on his face

“i guess i do assume the worst in situations like this. this is 100% your fault by the way! you can’t keep your hands off me!” you laugh, teasing your boyfriend a bit

“i guess you’re right on that one. but isn’t it your fault for being so sexy in the first place?” he smirked

“oh shut up!”

“but in all seriousness, how far along are you?” he asked, taking your hand in his

“i think three weeks? i haven’t had my period in three weeks and ive been pretty nauseous daily ever since”

“that makes sense. im really sorry for not being responsible and wearing condoms. but are you sure you want to keep it? i’m not saying i don’t want you to but i just wanna make sure you think about it, i mean a baby is a big decision” he rubbed your hand soothingly

“im really sure alex.. are you sure you still want me? i’m never going to have this body again and.. i’m scared of you losing interest in me after i have the baby” you said, feeling insecure about how much you’re going to change throughout this pregnancy

“is that what you’re worried about, mi vida? that’s got to be one of the silliest things i’ve ever heard. you being pregnant won’t stop me from loving you.. nor will it change my attraction for you, if anything, i find it really attractive..” he said, touching your smooth face gently

“you do?”

“i do. you’ll be carrying our baby. our baby.. the product of our love. you’ll have a growing being inside of you that’ll have both our features. and seeing a baby grow inside of you that’s mine and yours… that’s goddamn attractive if you ask me” he chuckled lightly

“oh alex” you let out a sob, practically jumping into his arms as he held you close to his chest

“don’t worry baby girl, we’re gonna be fine. i’ll do everything in my power to make sure you and our baby are okay and safe, okay?” he said with a kiss to your temple

“yeah… i’ll have the best man in the world helping me raise our baby..” you snuggled into him more

“you make it sound like i’ll be an amazing father. i mean i can see myself being the best father possible but i can’t say i’ll be perfect. i’ll definitely do my very best to be a good father because our baby deserves it” he explained, caressing your hair

“woah… daddy alex? that’s pretty hot, im not gonna lie. i kinda see where you’re coming from that me being pregnant is attractive to you” you pulled back a bit to look at him as you spoke. you saw him visibly freeze

“did you just… did you just call me daddy??” he blinked a few times, processing what you just said

“you’re already an amazing daddy to me, always taking care of me. i’m good practice, no?” you practically purred, loving the blush that crept out onto his cheeks

“th-that’s, th-that’s not what i meant!” he stuttered, very flustered,

“i mean yeah i take care of you and look after you to the best of my abilities… but d-daddy?” he continued

“i know what you meant alexis, i think i just have a lot of hormones in my body right now. i think… i think these baby hormones are making me feel stuff already. i mean, the thought of you being a father is really sexy… im definitely turned on, not gonna lie” you confessed, not even feeling embarrassed

“so daddy alex then, huh?” he smiled, the blush still bright on his face

“mhm…”

“i dont know what got into you but, hey im not complaining” he chuckles and wraps his arms around you

“you’re such a dream..” you sigh

“y tu eres la mujer de mis sueños, eres la cosita mas hermosa y perfecta que me ha pasado” he said lovingly to you

“god, im going to love you forever”

“i love you so much too, forever. this baby will definitely make that love even stronger”

“i agree, mi amor”

“by any chance, have you thought of any baby names? i know you said you thought about us having a family and stuff..” he asked randomly

“i have actually, have you?”

“it’s kinda weird but i have. for a boy, i think carlos or joan and for a girl maybe paz or xochil” he said thoughtfully and you gushed at the fact that he even thought of baby names

“those are actually really pretty. i was thinking for a boy, ezekiel or alexis jr and for a girl something like hyacinth or eliana” you said

“are… are you serious” alex asked, looking down at the floor

“yes, i mean its perfect. i’ve always adored your name and he could be our little junior” you shrugged as if it wasn’t the biggest compliment to alexis

“our little junior… that’s just… wow, i have no words” he smiled

“maybe if it’s a girl, she can have my name or something similar?” you said after a minute

“it’s settled then. if it’s a boy, alexis junior and if it’s a girl, she’ll have your beautiful name” he smiled, leaning in to give you a quick kiss

“then it’s decided” you agreed

“can you promise me something? well, two things” he asked

“sure baby”

“can you please promise not to stress yourself about this pregnancy? i don’t want anything bad happening to you or our baby..”

“yes alex, i promise”

“and also… please don’t stop loving me after the baby is born. i know it’s common for women to have postpartum depression and things like that or even resentment towards the father for getting them pregnant… but i promise to do everything in my power to ensure a good life for you and our baby. i’m going to do everything for us, y/n. just, please don’t stop loving me…” his gaze shifts to the ground once again

“ay mi corazóncito… i could never ever stop loving you. you’re the only person i want to raise a family with… you’re my family” you say genuinely

“oh my god… thank you amor. thank you for everything. i’ll take care of you, okay?”

“okay alex” you nodded and after a while,

“maybe… maybe we should celebrate” you say suggestively

“oh… you mean..” he said innocently

“yeah..”

“yes… we definitely should celebrate” he nodded

“well then get to it daddy, mommy needs tending to”

alex lifts you from the toilet seat cover and takes your hand in his. he leads you to your bedroom and he made love to you. he was absolutely gentle and just overall a gentleman, tending to your needs.

he was going to be an amazing father, that was for sure.

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c2. 'The urgency.'

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs, eating disorders, depression.

song to listen to when reading this: The Chain, Fleetwood Mac.

abstract: this is Jude, this is a little bit of information about me since you care so much, I don't even know you… anyway yes, I really like being mysterious, what you gonna do about it, punch me in the face? I'm not even real, grow the fuck up. see ya.

Sometimes, she just fucking hated her life. She supposed it was normal like that, it happened to everyone to absolutely fucking despise their lives, no? She wakes at the same hour everyday, does her makeup. Not too much, not too little to show she was sleep deprived and got high last night. Her identity was concealed under eyeliner and blush. She looks like a doll. She likes her makeup, she's quite good at it. She plays with her hairstyles, sometimes a bun, sometimes braids, sometimes loose with a headband, depending on the mood. She walks her dog and cleans his poop. Jinx, a 5 month old Belgian Malinois she adopted when she moved. She found him at a shelter for abused puppies, he was the last one to get adopted. She decided to take him, she planned to move to the countryside soon anyways. Gaining his trust was one of her biggest accomplishments, now the dog had a bit of an attachment issue, but they were working on getting better together. She drives to work with the same 4 playlists playing in her car. Old rock, Frank Ocean, some Italian songs here and there.

She always comes in dressed in dark colours, dark red, dark blue or black. She has 10 male patients and 8 female soldiers. Some of them are combat medics, some snipers. Demolition experts. She works 'till lunch time, eats alone, sometimes skips lunch just to make her body feel something and indulge in disordered eating, then goes outside to smoke and comes back in. After the afternoon sessions, she sometimes has groups together for some group therapy. Then she usually goes home and smokes weed while she cooks her dinner, she acts like she's in MasterChef, puts on music and pours herself a glass of wine 'Quando sei qui con me' she sings to her dog, 'Questa stanza non ha più pareti, ma alberi'. Jinx doesn't even know Italian. Two times a week, she teaches ballet at a local dance school. 13 year old is not old enough to be on point shoes. It's her favourite time of the week though. She gets to finally have control of a situation, she gets some respect. 13 year olds, a fucking nightmare… She gets to tell them what to do and correct their arms, their feet, their posture and they listen! They do, and they like her, they say thank you Alba, see you next week! They learn her choreographies, they follow her lead when she explains a new variation. They even like the songs she chooses for warm up. Mostly Abba.

Alba is not her real name, but they don't know that. A gift from Laswell, when she started working for her. A sparkly new identity, English ID and nice documents that prove she's an English citizen, born in Southampton. She's not. Kept a little bit of Italian in the fake name. She hasn't been in Italy in close to five years. She went on vacation alone in Tuscany once, just to feel her country again for a second. She is not in contact with her family, last message from her sister was three years ago, it went 'I hope you're alive.' Her mother taught her violence. To be in power. To be beautiful and kind. To never ever trust someone who wouldn't give their life for you. Her mother taught her loyalty, respect. She used to never cry as a child. She loved to know stuff, to read about planets. She would kill lizards in the backyard with her little brother, who died young. She saw her first gun at 13. Now, her name is not Alba and it sure isn't Jude. Or Judy, as some patients call her. They know it's a callsign, a code name, everyone has one, especially in the task forces. Hers is Jude. 'Jude looks like an angel, but her words have thorns'. That's what Billy Lunette had to say about her. Billy had been her favourite patient for the whole of 2021. He had PTSD, he had night terrors and was in a mental hospital for schizophrenia symptoms for a while. He wouldn't take his medication, he would smoke, he was a mess. He listened to her though. She was the only one who visited him in the hospital. She showed him he could trust her and he completely lost himself in her. He would call her at 3 in the morning, drop by her office too many times per day, developed a bit of a codependency, but she was able to help him through his pain. He would do research about the treatments, the medicine, cognitive behavioural therapy. Billy was happy now. He was grateful to have had her and she was grateful that Billy had been a great patient. Big challenge. Billy was her biggest accomplishment, and proof of the fact she wasn't completely useless in the army.

She didn't work for the entirety of 2022. She had an accident with one of the patients, classified information. She survived, but man was it hard to live after that day... Spent time with her dog, visited a friend in San Francisco, taught ballet. Price and Laswell felt so guilty they continued to pay her even if she wasn't working. Why she decided to come back she really didn't know. She thinks the truth is she likes helping people, makes her feel good. She likes the crazy stories and that she had a reputation at the base, she was starting to be respected. She craved that. And it really started to bore her, the routine. Until Arash. Seeing Arash so frighted and tense was new, he was a calm and polite gentlemen. She saw an invisible string tying his story and his damned pilgrimage book to the mission she knew had failed in the Middle East. Now, it was a little bit of a stretch. So she did her little research, put her Sherlock hat on, lit a cigarette and started digging.

She had fun, until things really started clocking. He was missing his doctor appointments on purpose on specific dates, to go do what? Call someone? She couldn't steal his phone. Send letters? She tried the post office but found out nothing. The bank really did give her his statements, which was pure luck. He had set his personal security questions as his birthday and his mother's name, which she knew, because he told her. She knew everything about him, even his social security number. Arash really trusted her and she had an incredible memory for unnecessary details. Also, he left his wallet on the couch in her office countless times, it’s not that she looked, it was just there and she remembered. When she saw him stressed and fidgety she knew he was hiding something. She kept a straight face, 'Arash, we can really talk about whatever you want, you know' and he would interrupt her 'You don't understand. The urgency!', he continued to say. She really didn't want to tell Price herself, she would have preferred for Laswell to do it. She took extra time in the morning to get ready that day. She was going in a separate area she knew very little about, and nobody knew who she was. Sometimes people mistook her for someone's wife, or daughter. She chose her outfit accordingly, she wanted to seem professional. She wore a sports bra. There was nothing to look at anyways. She didn't put on lipstick, not even the nude one. She was used to being underestimated, and being looked down at. She was also used to raising her voice and presenting herself as stoic and cold. She knew perfectly how to be violence. She noticed a familiar face once she opened the door of the briefing room. A familiar face mask. The skull guy, she had seen him before. Was he the guy…

She could't get distracted. Her little mission went smoothly. She always knew Price liked her and feared her at the same time, and when it came to his little soldier boys, she really didn't care what they thought. The guy from the day of her accident even spoke to her. Poor thing. She was really amused no one told him about the reason why she didn't want to go home alone. He did really good that night, she remembers him well. He didn't try to speak too much, he sounded gentle. A gentle giant. Unfortunately for him, no one was gonna tell him about that day. When she left the room, she went straight home. She doubted someone would ever contact her again about the situation, they would handle it themselves, and probably very badly. She was driving to her ballet lesson, still thinking they all looked so confused by her words. They were probably gonna do a stupid interrogation, or rather do nothing and wait for the next mission to be a shit show. Imbecilli.

'Alright girls, one more time please!' At least she had her little ballerinas to cheer her up. She had them warm up, she usually did the warm up routine with them. She walked between the four rows of kids at the barre, delivering her corrections. Jennifer usually had stiff hands, and she was tense in her shoulders. Kyla had a beautiful turnout but she often confused her arms positions. The jetes routine, they always forgot that one. 'It's three in front and switch… guys I'm not gonna repeat myself'. She thought she sounded rude sometimes, but 13 year old American girls were a nightmare to work with. Last month, she even had to deal with poor Gemma being bullied in the changing rooms. 'I'm gonna say this just once, three in the front, switch to the back.' she liked demonstrating, felt like she was taking lessons herself. 'Ta-ra, ta-ra, ta-da. And we're gonna hold here' she lifted herself on her toes and attached her right pointed foot to her knee. She let go of the barre, holding her balance on one foot. 'Passè.' she said. The girls groaned. 'The more you complain the more I'm gonna make you stay like this girls. We're gonna do one minute.' She went to the side of the room, to play the music 'From the top.'

notes: translation of the song: 'Quando sei qui con me' when you're with me, 'Questa stanza non ha più pareti, ma alberi', this room doesn't have walls no more, it has trees.

notes: Alba means something specific!

translation: imbecilli, means imbeciles.

notes: let me know what you think !! <3

love, mare.

taglist:

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006

[summerlovingbaby]

okay so random ass Aaron hdc

i think Aaron has a horrible stomach

like really bad even when he was a kid and before he started using

he also has a pretty poor relationship with eating which doesn't help

so dude is pretty much constipated all the time

growing up in his environment he likely experienced food scarcity

and then he started using which only added to his stomach

problems bc using drugs and health are not in the same sentence

and then Andrew locks him in the bathroom to detox, which makes him hate small closed-off spaces, specifically the bathroom

so being in the bathroom for long periods of time with the door closed, specifically pooping, stresses him out

and does not help with his bowel movements

Aaron could be in the bathroom for upwards of an hour and he can barely stand to be in it for more than 10 minutes with the door closed

and he's not about to shit with the door wide open so he just suffers through the mild stomach pain

he doesn't eat great or drink enough water which doesn't help

and he can go weeks without pooping sometimes

he tells Nicky who isn't quite sure how to help, but listens anyway

he can usually manage just fine with his stomach pain but sometimes it gets so unbearable that he can just sit there

like his back hurts, his head hurts, everything hurts

Nicky asks him about it, and Aaron explains that his stomach hurts, and lets it slip that he hadn't used pooped in 2 weeks

and Nicky is like dude wtf and is about to take him to the doctor

but aaron convinces him not to even though he feels absolutely awful and sick

and andrew walks in and looks at him curled up in his chair and studying and is like " does your stomach hurt?"

and he brushes it off about a bug, though its clear he's lying

andrew probably had constipation problems at one point due to the sexual abuse he suffered so he's empathetic

so he goes to the kitchen and makes aaron tea, and gives it to him with no explanation, saying it'll help

its a laxative tea, that used to help him, some combination of the warm temp. and the laxative makes it easy to shit

so aaron drinks it and like 30 minutes later he rushes to the bathroom and basically shits his bodyweight

he was in and out of the bathroom in less than 40 minutes, which is less than half the usual time it takes him when he's all stopped up the way he was then

and he leaves the bathroom, andrew is sitting outside by the door and just looks at him

and is like " you good?"

and Aaron is just horrified but nods and they never talk about it again, though aaron is really thankful

and Andrew doesn't exactly track his brother's diet and bathroom habits but he does keep an eye out to make sure aaron isn't suffering because he's to stubborn to admit hes constipated and needs help

also right after aaron detoxed he refused to be in any bathroom by himself so he makes Nicky go in with him for like a month straight, before he realizes how childish he is behaving

[sleepygreentea]

Hello! May I ask for some general dating hcs for Balam-sensei with a human partner? Thank you!

Gladly! Balam dating HCs with a GN human partner!

When you guys go out Balam rarely takes you to restaurants, bars, etc., he mainly just brings you to (safe) areas where he can point out the wildlife where he can just absolutely geek out about teaching you about different animals and plants

But when you guys go to a bar or restaurant, he always pays, it doesn't matter if you have your own income, he just likes paying for you. You've asked him about it before, and the best answer you got was "because, I love you" and that's really it

when you two first started dating Balam didn't even know that's what you two were doing, he initially thought you thought of him as a really close friend. it took a long while to explain the concept to him

Every time after a date you and Balam just kinda chill at the history prep room ( if you have your own house or apartment you chill there) watch a movie, snuggle, get bombarded with questions about human romance, read his picture books

he is very receptive to your love language and he tries to use his knowledge of your love language in all of your dates, telling you you're cute if words of affirmation are your love language, hugging you and holding your hand, buying chocolates and other small things, spending as much time with you as he can, he loves making your feel loved

Balams love language is touch so you try and incorporate wholesome touching during all of your dates, holding his hand, gently kissing his cheek, and hugging him.

during your hangout and chill together after a date he removes his mask, he feels comfortable around you with and without it.

I know there wasn't a lot of content in this one, but my brain has been pooped this past couple of weeks

[skiesofrosie]

poop-colored paint and forehead kisses 

pairing: don malarkey x f! reader

genre: fluffy fluff, tiny bit of angst

note: since none of my longfics are done, here's a little dose of my favorite, silly man

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

A kiss to the forehead is his favorite way of loving.

Don Malarkey is a bit of a rascal, he admits, with a penchant for trouble like a five-year-old boy scribbling in red marker all over his mother’s precious white, kitchen walls. A zest for life as he would call it, though you would argue that it was just a zest for pissing people off, and getting the last laugh.

After all, the first time you both properly talked, was in the midst of him constructing a bucket that would tip over with brown paint when the classroom door opened. Years ago, back in good ol’ high school. He was riled up from a one-sided feud with your homeroom teacher, who confiscated his pack of cigarettes, and smoked them all up.

“Good on him, honestly,” you remark, unflinchingly. “Your breath reeks of smoke.”

His jaw dropped, as you shrugged and strutted off. “What the f–...my breath doesn’t–”

Immediately snatching his hand to cover his mouth, inhaling his breath into his nostrils, you discovered his one-track mind when he completely forgets his poop paint concoction, and lets it all spill over, just a hair in front of your teacher’s footsteps. Of course, actually being there and getting caught, on top of a failed execution, was not part of the plan.

He was forced into detention for the whole week. But that first day, he was surprised to find you there.

“Decided to cuss him out for bein’ a thief,” you said, about the same teacher. “Not like we got money growin’ on trees around here, innit? Smokes cost a shit ton now.”

Malarkey’s jaw dropped again. His one-track mind strikes, threatening to bow at your feet, despite the fact that you were the reason he was stuck in that mucky classroom in the first place. Years later, you would punch his shoulder when he bids this argument, saying that if he weren’t such a simple man he would have not spilled the damn bucket.

But when you sat and crossed your legs, cherry red skirt riding up to unveil the smooth skin on your thighs, he felt his throat dry and tried to hide the flush on his cheeks, whipping his head to the front. But you had already caught wind of his stare, promptly smirking to yourself.

He blamed it on his prepubescent mind for not realizing much earlier that you were really, quite pretty.

“We should team up some time,” he suggested. “I think we could take down the whole school.”

Malarkey’s breath didn’t actually reek of cigarettes. You just wanted to leave a lasting impression for the idiot boy, whose cute cheeks you wanted to try squeezing. And it worked, because you were stuck in detention with him for an entire week, where you learned everything about him, and in-between. Like his affinity for the skies, the rush in a risky prank, and a cup of coffee, with one teaspoon of sugar.

It came as no surprise, when he asked you to the school dance. But your nights with him would hardly be limited to a single night, and you would grace his mornings too, ‘til your everydays were blessed in each other’s company when you both started attending the University of Oregon.

You were definitely on each other’s team.

But yes, back to the point at hand: you loved his forehead kisses.

‘Cause Don Malarkey, for all his prankster behavior, is an absolute sap when it comes to love. In fact, the first time you felt that he was indeed, love, was when he walked you back home, all sweaty and blistered feet after hours of dancing. Though his eyes were clearly trained on your lips, he opted for a soft smile and instead, kissed your forehead. It was quick, but you could feel his (minty) breath cloud over your face, and his nose boop into yours–your lips breaking into a wide grin.

“I don’t want to rush into things,” he whispered. “Would like to show you, first, that you can trust me.”

He didn’t know what exactly it was about them, that he almost preferred to the lips (almost, because yours are far too soft and sweet to ever ignore). Perhaps, it’s a reminder that he gets to be yours. And when you slip your hands against his chest, every time, as he cradles you close, tilting to lean his cheek against your hair–it reminds him too, that you are actually his. That you will choose him, time and time again.

And it’s a reminder he cements into his heart, as he takes off for Camp Toccoa.

The morning of enlistment day, you were brewing his cup of coffee–hot, with exactly one teaspoon of sugar–when he sauntered into the kitchen with a heaviness in his footsteps. You knew, when he headed straight for the fridge, instead of greeting you with the usual peck to the forehead, what he was about to do. It was an ongoing conversation, slight hesitancy in his eyes, each time you’d cover sorrow with your usual sarcasm.

You didn’t want to know what it would be like, to go years without his voice in the apartment.

But you also knew him–a man of honor, a seeker of adrenaline. He would only keep wondering what it would’ve been like, should he not do his part in the war. And though you preferred him just guessing, you feared he would never be satisfied. You didn’t want him to regret, and then resent you for convincing him to stay. So of course, you kept your feelings of despair to yourself. 

But that day, when the silence was too blaring, it shattered your glass heart.

“Sweetheart,” he rushed, as you began to sob over the counter. “Christ, sweetheart, don’t cry on me now.”

“Why do ya have to be so good?” you stammered. “Why do ya have to be so fuckin’ brave?”

He didn’t know what to say to that. Instead, he turned to grab your waist, feeling his throat constrict at the sight of your swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Your warmth is the one invariable through the changing of seasons, and the familiarity of loving you never ceased to feel as new as the first day. So he did what he knew best, he held you close, as tight as he ever has, and pressed a singular kiss to your forehead.

But this time, his lips lingered on you longer than they usually did, and you felt a dampness touch your skin when he leaned his head against you, and cupped your cheeks.

“You are my entire world,” he murmured against your lips. “I will come home to you.”

And a man of honor he is, because after three, grueling years, he finally meets you at the train station in Oregon.

The light in his eyes have dimmed, his skin has aged into a sickly pale, and his voice is soft, unusual for the boy who yelled his love for you from the windows as the train departed, just three years ago. The war has stripped away the Don Malarkey you once knew. But as he drops his luggage, and makes his way to you in slow, disbelieving steps, he does the one thing that reminds you that your love is all the same.

He greets you with a long, forehead kiss.

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

[the-cimmerians]

Nandor (my youngest cat) started getting sick a while ago. I was finally able to get her an ultrasound last week, and as I suspected, she'd eaten a cat toy. To be precise, she ate a silicone cat toy the size of her face (all cat toys smaller than my fist have now been banished from the household--I threw out about ten pounds of cat toys). The toy was removed from her intestine last Wednesday and her recovery has been going VERY WELL (I am so grateful, so so very grateful!) But as you know, with an intestinal surgery you're going to need to keep a super-close eye post-surgery on whether they eat, and whether they poop. She eats! and poops! but she's supposed to stay calm and contained and not jump up on anything, so I have her enclosed in a pop-up mesh tent-type thing (pic below) until she's cleared for regular cat duties. But I let her out every two hours for a small meal and a gentle supervised walk, and when she poops I take her out right away so I can clean the litterbox and praise her and reward her for pooping with a little time outside of the Penalty Box For Naughty Toy-Eaters. And so... today she pooped, but it was only a tiny wee nugget, a singular small poopule. But i praised her and took her out and cleaned the box and praised her again and started worrying... and then put her back in--at which point she went straight into the litterbox and released another grudging, singular nugget. I became suspicious, but carried on as i had before, cleaned the box, praised and walked her, etc. When I put her back in after this, she immediately released a third nugget, at which point i refused to be further behavior modified by my cat and ignored her and her woeful measly poop nugget. She yelled. She protested most stridently. She made plaintive noises, which i ignored. And then she went in the catbox and actually let go of the entire package she'd been doling out for rewards... I love her so very dearly. I'm so, so glad that she's healing, that she feels better, that she's going to be okay, that she's eating and pooping and absolutely Machiavellian, my devious darling. The Relentless:

Her Woeful Confinement:

[meademalove]

https://archive.md/aKqxQ

This is a Google translate, but you get the gist of it. Love them so much! 🥹❤️

'Beth gets the poop, I get a paw and the cuddles'

Puppy Myle Meadema causes division in the Vivianne Miedema house

Well, what to do if both you and your girlfriend really want to participate in the Olympic Games, but only one of the two can qualify? This tricky issue means that the lovers Vivianne Miedema, striker of the Orange Lionesses, and Beth Mead, attack leader of the English Lionesses, are diametrically opposed to each other these days.

With a wink of course, but still. For example, Miedema (27) made it clear on Monday morning that love with Mead (28) will immediately be on hold in north-west London for an hour and a half. What Miedema said to Mead when she closed the door of their London home behind her? “That I hope she will be very disappointed the next time we meet again.”

Puppy Myle

Recently the couple, affectionately renamed 'Meadema', was delighted with the arrival of puppy Myle. Both Miedema and Mead had a tough time after suffering a serious knee injury one year ago and one after the other.

The top strikers, Mead was the best player at the European Championship won by England in the summer of 2022, were out for ten months and missed the World Cup in Australia and New Zealand. The goalgetters have now recovered from their cruciate ligament injuries. The English striker made her comeback on October 15, and Miedema's return followed a week later.

Mead continues in recovery

Mead is further along in her recovery than her Dutch friend. “Beth scored twice again last weekend. Then you could really see for the first time that she felt completely free again," says the attacker from Hoogeveen proudly. “That is why she deserves to be selected for the national team again.”

Waiting for a hit after comeback

Miedema herself is still waiting for her first goal since her comeback. She yearns for a starting place. It has to happen on December 13, in a League Cup match with Tottenham Hotspur. “Look: we are still in the same situation: neither of us can play two ninety minutes in a few days. But in the timeline she is further along than I am. We trained a lot together during the rehabilitation. Things didn't look good at first, but it's good to see things are improving. I am happy for her that she is back with the English team, but for the Dutch team that is less good news.”

Beth Mead can hardly keep her form. “Who knows, she might shoot us a few shots. But you can't really expect that from her in such a top competition. I especially hope that no pressure is put on her from the English side. They have plenty of choices up front, Fran Kirby from Chelsea is also back," says Miedema, who was training on the KNVB Campus on Monday evening in the pouring rain, but with a big smile. She is happy that she feels like a footballer again.

"Myle is Dutch on Friday and only barks when the Dutch team scores. She has no interest in England at all"

A laugh that is partly caused by puppy Myle, who, according to Miedema, has more than a slight preference for the winner on Friday evening. “Myle is Dutch on Friday and only barks when the Dutch team scores. She has no interest in England at all,” her owner firmly claims. With a victory at a packed Wembley, with more than 80,000 fans expected, the Lionesses will take a giant step towards 'Paris 2024'. In the event of a defeat by just one goal, a win over Belgium three days later in Tilburg will most likely suffice.

"Beth gets the poop, I get a paw and the cuddles"

Why Myle is for the Dutch team, leader in Group 1?

Miedema: “Because I am her favorite mom,” says the striker, who hopes for a substitute against Sarina Wiegman's team. “Look: I think everything Myle does is absolutely fine, but Beth is strict. She keeps saying, 'You can't pee here, you can't poop there.' So every time I see something lying around, I call Beth. She gets the poop, I get a paw and the cuddles.”

[homo-rashi]

Its either here or in your pants | Omovember 2023

進撃の巨人 | Attack on Titan

Read it on Ao3: LINK

There wasn't much on Erens mind as he was being shuffled around from guard to guard, each and every one of them being either scared of him or angry that he is alive, most of the time it was both. However, the one guard he hated to be stationed with, the one who drove him absolutely insane, was none other than Captain Levi.

When Levi was put in charge of making sure Eren didn't randomly turn into a titan and kill everyone…there was always a lot on Erens mind. Being with the short cadet for as many hours as he has, he has learned small things will tick him off, leading to their time together being even more unpleasant. 

First Eren learned Captain Levi hates slouching. Even if they were both sitting at a table, eating casually outside, the man had perfect posture and expected everyone else in his squad to do the same, Eren included. Sitting like you have a stick up your ass when you've been sleeping on an old, dungeon mattress is not easy, but Eren puts up with it because Levi gets annoyed when things don't go his way. 

He also learned the Captain is a bit of a clean freak, specifically about his uniform and the uniforms of others. They have to be in pristine condition. If you have even as much as a small stain from lunch on your shirt, you can  feel Levi’s eyes burning a hole in it with how hard he fixates on the unseemly stain. Eren made sure he ate carefully, didn't do any of his chores haphazardly and always, made sure to wipe his mouth between each bite, Eren has found this to be one of Levi’s more charming quirks, because at the end of the day, he is a soldier who gets covered in unidentifiable titan fluids and yet, some soup broth on someones pants will send him into a fit. 

The worst quirk of all that Eren has not only observed but had to deal with multiple times now, is the Captain’s annoyance for taking and specifically asking for  breaks. They could be working in the field, training for hours and if Eren so much as looks at his water canteen longingly, Levi would make him train harder, and for longer. Eren thought he learned how to combat that. Drinking alot before training, so he wouldn't feel so thirsty when denies stopping for a drink, but oh how he was wrong. 

He did exactly that, knowing the schedule for his guards. Today he is with Levi and he hasn't trained physically with anyone all week, so today he assumed he is gonna be doing more physical activities with Levi. He chugged three or so canteens of water, knowing he would sweat it out in no time in the summer heat. 

“Come on.” Levi came to his cell, urging him to hurry and finish tying his shoes. They head out of the basement where Eren has been sleeping and instead of turning towards where they would usually spar, they keep walking, walking until they are outside off the stables. Erens heart pluments at this idea of his physical activity of the day being scooping horse poop from the stables for eight hours…At Least when he doesn't, Levi keeps a healthy distance between them because of how disgusting Eren gets after. 

“Hook the two mares up to this wagon. We're going and refilling our water reserve from a well a few miles south.” Eren follows orders and gets the two largest, strongest horses they have and attaches them to their harnesses and to the wagon, swiftly following Levi into it and taking a seat, Some other men Levi is in change of, but are not high enough ranking to know why exactly Eren is here or to ever be incharge of him get on the horses and start steering them away from the compound. 

“I've never done this before.” Erens says at their pace quickens, He feels giddy knowing he is getting to leave the compound, even if it is for something as boring as getting water. 

“We do this every few weeks, but with xtra men here to look after you, and your pals. We ran out sooner than expected.” Levi scoffs, Eren can feel the tension, Without even meaning to he annoyed Levi by simply showering and using water. He decided to fall back to the opposite side of the wagon, hidden behind the many empty barrels that are destined to be filled with water. 

***

It doesn't take long for Eren to realize the grave mistake he made. He isn't doing anything physically demanding today, so he isn't sweating like he planned. Hell,  Sitting still on a horse drawn wagon, taking in all the sites around him would be relaxing and a nice change of pace if he didnt chug his body weight in water like a fool before leaving.  He realized twenty minutes into there, god knows how long, journey that he needs to pee. He brushed it off, He isn't a stranger to having to hold it, it kind of comes with being in the survey corps. 

“Levi, How long does it take to get to the water reserve?” Eren asks loudly over the sound of the wooden wagon wheels on the rough gravel beneath them. 

“It's not long, We should be there and back before dinner.” Levi says without a single bit of sarcasm in his voice. ‘Not long my ass.’ Eren thinks to himself. They just had breakfast an hour ago. Being back before dinner… Eren shakes his head. He can't think of how many hours he might have to wait before he can pee, he just has to feel it out and find a time to ask for a break that will make Levi the least annoyed. 

***

The perfect time does not come. They make it to the Water reserve and Levi immediately hands hoses to Eren, instructing him to hold them in the barrels and to not let go no matter what. Eren follows orders, hoping Levi doesn't actively watch him as he wiggles in place holding the hoses. The random bits of freezing cold water that sneak their way out of the leather hose and touch his hands really doesn't help his current predicament. 

After every two barrels reach their limit, Eren has to swifty transfer the hoses to the empty barrels beside it and continue the process while Levi stands at the Reserve, seemingly chatting with a military police member who is incharge. It's a very slow, very annoying process when you have to pee. Eren’s only saving grace is that he has managed to avoid getting more than a little water splashed on him. If he soaked himself, by accidently dropping a hose, he doesn't know if he would be able to hold it. 

“Captain, These are the last two!” Eren yells, Levi gives him a thumbs up. Eren watches Levi say what looks like a friendly goodbye to the man and slowly make his way over to Eren, The two barrels slowly come to be filled and the man back at the station turns off the hose's flow. Eren watches Levi roll up the hoses and toss them into the cart. He is about to get on when Eren decides he needs to speak up now. 

“Captain Levi!” Eren says, getting the short man's attention, 

“Hurry up and get on, We have to leave before the sun starts setting or else it's hard for the horses to remember where the paths are.”  Levi says seemingly ignoring Erens address and situation himself on the wagon. 

“Actually, I need a moment to um,” Eren realizes at this moment, he never has had to ask Levi to take a break, because the man himself usually at some point says they are going to the restroom and Eren just goes then..

“Get on the Wagon, whatever it is you want to talk about can surely be done while we are on the move.” Levi says, that similar annoyance showing in his voice. Eren swallows hard. He really, really has to pee. Before it was bearable but now, The ride here must have been two hours, if not more. He–He can't imagine himself holding it the whole way back…But still he takes his seat at the back of the wagon and they start on their way. 

It's not even half way into the journey back, when Eren is forced to sit at the front of the wagon, Next to Levi. The barrels, filled with water, that were surrounding him in the back were doing nothing to help his situation. The constant sloshing was reeking havoc on his poor, poor, bladder. Moving up away from them solved one of his problems, but now, Levi is staring at him, watching his as he wiggles around helplessly trying to not look like he is on the verge of peeing his uniform. 

“Will you quit it?” Levi hisses, Eren, who was fanning his legs quickly halts his movement, but instantly he knows that was the wrong move. 

“Cant.” Eren says in return, instead he juggles both of his legs up and down hoping the less distracting movement will be enough for Levi to leave him alone. 

“Did you just disobey me?” Levi’s voice growls with anger, Eren freezes at his tone. 

“No s-sir.” Eren says, He wants to stop wiggling around, but he has to pee. He needs them to stop, he needs to run into the woods and pick a nice tree but he knows that would inconvenience everyone, he missed his chance to go and now he is suffering the consequences, 

“If you don't stop moving around like an idiot, you are disobeying me, now stop, behave.” Levi shouts the order and Eren obeys. His knees come to a stop, but instantly he feels like he is about to piss himself. He can almost feel the pee traveling down his dick, like it's waiting at the tip just ready to come out if he doesn't do anything. 

“We need to stop!” Eren says loudly, suddenly because, he can't, he can't wait and he doesn't care if he annoys Levi, He cant piss himself. 

“What? We cannot stop, We won't be stopping until we are back at our station. What is wrong?” Levi asks, not an ounce of sympathy in his words as he looks over at Eren. 

“I have to piss! We have to stop, I can’t-'' Eren cuts himself off, he can't admit that he can't hold it but, now that it's out in the open, and he is holding himself between his legs with both hands, it's obvious he is urgent.

“Well, we're not stopping.” Levis says, turning his attention back to the scenery around them, 

“You don't understand, I-I’m about to soil myself, I cannot, not pee. '' Eren says, he can't be shocked Levi denied him a break, that's really what got him in this predicament in the first place, but even he figured Levi would rather them lose a few minutes of daylight then what will happen if they don't stop. 

“Yes, you can just go right here, We won't be stopping because you can't control yourself.” Levi says not paying much attention to Eren as he speaks, Eren just looks at him, mouth agape, wiggling around where he is sat, that is, on a moving wagon with two other soldiers a few feet away. “well, go on.” 

“I can't!-W-what am I supposed to do? Just whip it out and piss on the ground?” Eren asks through gritted teeth. 

“Yes, you have no other option.” Levi says, looking at him with one eyebrow raised as if he is confused as to why Eren has qualms about doing something of the such. 

“I can't! I-hnnng, But I cant hold it, Can we please just-” Levi cuts Eren off. 

“It's either here, or your pants cadet. Choice is yours.” Levi says, but Eren knows, from the way he doesnt look away, and the way Levi is about keeping their uniforms pestine, he doesn't really have a choice…. 

Eren slowly removes his hands, making sure he switches to holding with whatever bladder strength he has left and unzips his fly. Levi’s eyes don't leave him as he withers around, trying to get the courage to pull himself out. He starts to feel that feeling again, of his pee trailing down his dick and that makes the decision for him and not a moment too soon, because the second he pulls himself you his stream starts without his permission. 

“Oh god-” Eren aims for the ground, trying to go between the slats in the wooden base of the wagon, but it's no use. It's bumpy and its going everywhere, specifically onto his boots and the bottom of the closets barrel as his pee moves away from his with gravity. 

“Disgusting. You really couldn't wait. Tsk.” Levi says, with a small chuckle. 

“You told me to!” Eren mumbles under his breath, his words are breathy from the sheer relief of finally being able to go. Holding for that many hours, he is just glad he will soon be empty. 

“Is that kid pissing?” One of the men on the horses asks, looking back at the commotion, the audible hiss leaving Eren is an unnatural sound amongst the forest surrounding them. 

“Quiet Cadet! eyes forward! Give him some privacy.” Levi barks at the man who Eren switches see’s turn back to forward position. 

Eren finishes, leaving a huge wet stain on the untreated wood on the wagon. The only damage done to his uniform is his shoes and probably his underwear, but Levi can’t see those. He tucks himself back in and crosses his arms over his chest,finally looking up to meet Levi’s eyes. 

“Thanks.” Eren says, looking at the two soldiers who have yet to look back again after Levi’s orders. 

“It stinks. You disgust me. Don’t let it happen again.” Levi says, that same playful chuckle apparent in his voice. Eren feels embarrassed and turns away from his guard, Embarrassed as he might be, at least he doesn't have to pee anymore.

(for the few anons who ask for more AOT omo from me <3)

[allsadnshit]

Feeling like I'm going to have a panic attack I am so deeply overwhelmed by physical pain from a gym health assessment work out class I got roped into doing and didn't realize was going to be far beyond my limits, and I can hardly move a muscle let alone poop or clean or cook without it hurting immensely....and my dad has been on a multi day bender relapse after being sober for the last six weeks and i am just feeling so triggered and exhausted mentally and physically.

It's also my therapist's birthday week so I couldn't find time to schedule with her for our routine session (I didn't know at the time my week would turn into an entire episode from my dads relapse) so I just feel in the absolute worst position spiritually and emotionally right now. I was already feeling very fragile because it's my husbands second week at a very involved new job after being unemployed for the last 8 months and it's a really good thing for us BUT it's also this huge transition and adjustment to be spending time alone quietly in my house 5 days out of the week while he works from home with a headset on and I can't really move freely anymore or eat meals with him. I was already really nervous for this chapter because of this new arrangement at home and with my most important relationship....and then my dad now is having this terrible week long experience that started on my moms death anniversary on Sunday and is coming to a head between him and my step mom and my brother who's living back in the city now.

It almost sounds comical when I write it all out for the first time here, like part of me reads it and I'm like wow is that actually the week im having? Am I making this shit up? But that's really the situation lol and I am crumbling

[littlenighttales]

If you’ve been here for a minute, you know the drill. Spoilers for chapter 4 of The Sounds of Nightmares, writing my thoughts as I listen to it for the first time (+ some extra edits in the parenthesis for extra thoughts on it after a few extra listens.)

So

Here we go. E4. Go. Go listen to this before reading this.

The Sounds of Nightmares

Two of a Kind

Yeah… so this one gets a bit philosophical at the beginning. Going on about duality and whatnot. Also have I mentioned how the main theme for this series absolutely slaps? Because it’s very good.

So Noone’s outside a reunion, but she can’t go in. It’s a bunch of happy kids outside playing and laughing. Otto gets Noone cake from it though (:

Apparently the room has a two way mirror, so they can look out but not in. Creepy. Otto spills the beans on the creepy disappearance. I’ll go ahead and mention I’m glad I don’t have to rewrite my happy ending story.

Obviously Noone starts freaking out about just straight up getting yeeted into what I’d dare compare to hell on Earth. She thought before they were just nightmares. But… nope.

Noone hates being alone, Otto reassures her a bit. He’s not seeming like a bad guy here lately. Just… having a bit of selfish-selfless motives. Doing sort of bad things for someone himself, but more for someone he knows. Does that make sense?

Wherever Noone was, there were happy kids! Carnival. LN3 teasers? But this is Little Nightmares, so I’m fully expecting the poop/fan collision within seconds.

The kids start talking more like teenagers, a bit weird. Suspecting we’ll see the “I don’t want to grow up” bit from Noone again. A kid named Rusty takes Noone for a ride- Ferris wheel. Also sky boats.

Rusty and his friends aren’t fans of being there. They’re basically slaves. Figures the bad news would come. Happy time lasted longer than expected.

Rebellion is planned. Noone gets assigned to lookout.

What the frick. Rusty sounding like he’s plotting his own death.

They stop talking about the “nightmare” to talk about going to the Nowhere. He opens up a little bit about CiCi. Noone figures out why Otto has been working with her like this. Finds out about his motives. She’s uncomfortable. But. He. Keeps. Pushing.

Noone mentions that the people of this world have distorted faces. Carnival guests a lot like the Maw guests. Definitely near or at the Carnival of LN3, I think

Magic show made Noone forget she’s a lookout. Mentions it’s like she’s under a spell. Ferryman is back?

Nope. It’s the carnival owner? He’s got no eyes. And a dummy made of a kid(?), maybe an adult? Noone says it looks like a smaller man. It sounds like it could be a Chuckie moment.

Noone tries so hard to warn the other kids.

And that dummy is definitely a possessed one. Dang, Chuckie moment.

Noone has a panic attack, some serious PTSD, sounds like ):

Someone hug the poor kid. Get that child a fluffy goat kid to hug!

Otto mentions the Ferryman by that name rather than Candleman. He’s all the more determined to go to the Nowhere. I know this is the same length as the other episodes, but it feels so much shorter!! Argh! It’s gonna be a long wait for next week! (Hey, future me here! Yeah, so I wrote this on the spot the day it was released, and yeah… still a long wait as of Saturday lol)

Good episode, but E3 is still the best so far imo.

We’ll probably see Noone get reverse-raptured (for lack of a better term) again next episode, maybe Otto finds his way to follow her.

[yeahponcho]

IGNORE IF THIS IS TRIGGERING

TW: NEGLECT, ANIMAL ABUSE (by previous owner)

We just got a new boy today as a surrender and he is absolutely gorgeous. His name (unofficially still) is FlashBang!!! You can't see it very well because of his lamp but he's a banana boy with tangerine stripes and white lines down his back. He's super malnourished which I'm absolutely devastated about but I'm planning on spending as much time with him as possible. He's a year old and he's only 8 or so inches including his tail which rocks me out to my core. His nails are also double the length but he's a temperamental little glunkrus so I know that's gonna be a challenge. If you have any tips on anything regarding his care PLEASE let me know. I already plan on getting him a salad bowl, ceramic heater, big water dish, and a decent hide that he can grow into. He was sprung on us tonight around 8:30pm and it's now 1:30am the next day so he's definitely getting used to everything and I couldn't get out to a pet store since they were all closed :// ANY advice would be mega appreciated

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oh he's SO small for a year old... poor little guy's been through a lot. I'm glad he's with you now, it sounds like you're committed to doing right by him! I'm just gonna go over a bunch of things I can think of, so apologies if you might already know some of this!

he is malnourished but be sure to introduce food to him slowly, smaller portions at first to let him adjust to having food in his belly. too much at once can be detrimental, too. make sure to be dusting with calcium and a vitamin supplement at least a couple times a week. I like Repashy Calcium Plus personally. here's a great chart I use for food item safety and adding variety to the diet: http://www.beautifuldragons.com/Nutrition.html

I wouldn't worry about his nails right now, let him get settled first. I would recommend taking out the reptile carpet and get some slate tile, especially if its textured on one side he can start to file his nails down naturally just by walking on the tile! repti carpet is very difficult to clean, holds odor and bacteria, and they can get their nails stuck in it. you can get slate tile at hardware stores like Lowe's, and sometimes they can even cut it for you

a hide or two will definitely be excellent, chances are he's gonna be skittish at first while he adjusts so having a place to hide where he feels safe will help him.

try to spend a little time with him each day, talking to him and offering your hand, but not necessarily touching him if he gets worked up. I would also recommend putting his enclosure in an area where he will see you and others walk by, that way he can get used to your presence. even if you just watch TV in the same room where he can see you, it helps normalize your presence in his life. he likely didn't have a whole lot of socializing, so it may take some time, but I think he'll come around.

if you need any advice for lighting, I recommend the T5 fixture and Arcadia 12% UVB https://www.reptilebasics.com/arcadia-desert-12-uvb/arcadia-d3-12-uvb-t5-bulb-22/

this one will be for UVB only! ^

for heat, I recommend a ceramic dome fixture. for the bulb... I've used a variety of things. flood lamps from walmart, fluker's bulbs, etc. as long as you can get a temp range of 95-105 on the basking spot, you should be good.

this is something I learned only recently, but make sure you dont screw the bulb in too tight!! I was told this contributes to premature death of the bulb. I had no idea this entire time. you're only supposed to screw it in just enough that it's not wobbly or going to fall out.

a vet checkup couldn't hurt for this guy, either. if you can get a poop sample in to check for parasites, that'd be really good.

hopefully some of this is helpful to you, and I wish him well! I'd love to see an update on him after he's settled in and doing a little better. I'll be keeping the little guy in my thoughts <3 I know what it's like to have a beardie just given to you randomly and having to scramble to get the right stuff, that's how it was with quinnie. but he's come a long way and he's a lot more friendly than he used to be.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

last night:

12:15 am: get in bed

12:20 am: notice box fan on floor is facing wrong direction. get up and move it and get back in bed.

12:15-2:30 am: dick around on tumblr and ao3

2:30 am: notice box fan on floor is not facing the right direction. assume it was the cats and move it again.

2:30-3 am: turn off lights and try to fall asleep

3:30 am: after failing to fall asleep, notice box fan is facing the wrong direction again. look around room like i might find a ghost or something. get up and move box fan. attract the attention of the cats.

3:30-4 am: decide ‘well if i can’t sleep i’ll play with the cats for a bit.’ we have a great time!

4 am: realize the box fan is facing the wrong direction AGAIN. conclude that the box fan must be shaking a bit so it is moving imperceptibly. decide to turn box fan off and get back in bed.

4-5:30 am: fall asleep fucking FINALLY.

5:30-6:00 am: cats tear through the room at full speed and wake me up. i cry a little and beg them to let me sleep. they Do Not.

6:00 am: it’s too warm now. turn the box fan on and lean it against a wall so it can’t move. take a huge drink of water. feel nauseous about it.

6-6:15 am: attempt to sleep. fail.

6:15-7 am: move to the floor because fuck it why not at this point?

7-8 am: Category 5 Intestinal Event (pooping variety) in the bathroom. the cats are concerned. bj watches me intently from the sink while hawkeye rearranges some cans in the recycling bin.

8 am-12:30 pm: BLESSED SLEEP. FINALLY. AT LAST. THANK GOD. could have done without the fucked up dream about riding a rollercoaster during an earthquake but i’ll take what i can get.

12:30 pm: wake up absolutely DRENCHED in sweat. dripping from my hair. soaked sheets and pillow case. all exposed skin is COVERED in cat hair and lint from the blanket that stuck to me bc of the sweat. can’t take a shower because i’m late for a work meeting over zoom.

DEAR BRAIN AND BODY: LET ME FUCKING SLEEP I AM BEGGING YOU…i am so tired…i haven’t slept a full night in like three weeks…i’m so sorry i’m stressed out but please let me escape into sleep i PROMISE it will help WHY WONT YOU HELP ME