#fibro issues

[renee-writer]

[lifblogs]

I’m an idiot who was trying to exercise, so now I have to ice my lower abdomen tomorrow.

[spookietrex]

I am valid even when my small victory is that I took my meds that day.

[justsomerandomgay]

i remember being ten years old and wishing to die rather than experience the pain i was in yet still my parents and my doctors didn’t believe me. sometimes it just hits me. that wasn’t a normal experience for a ten year old, was it?

[chr0n1c-ag0ny]

Kunikida has chronic pain. he doesn't really know why, he's seen a doctor and they're like "eh, your shit outta luck" and sends him on his way.

he's always stiff and achey and he can tell when it's gonna rain and how bad it's gonna be. pops whatever over the counter pain meds he can get his hands on without thought. is always stretching his back, neck, and legs out cause that's where it's the worst. constantly running a low grade fever.

he's just a little miserable all the time and he doesn't know what to do for it ever.

Dazai notices. he notices on days where Kunikida looks away from his work more often to rub away a migraine or stretch out his back are the days he's more snappy, where he edges into the territory of actually being mean.

he notices that he shivers when a draft or waft of AC hits him.

he notices how the winter and rainy days are harder for his partner. he runs 5 minutes behind his schedule. he needs more breaks. he doesn't pick up a pencil or pen unless he absolutely has to. his hands shake. he looks like he's gonna puke every time he stops to rub at his eyes. he sits in the dark whenever he gets the chance.

he takes it easier on him those days. he at least attempts to look busy and shoulders more of their shared work. he stands closer to him, he doesn't know why, but it makes him feel a bit more at ease. he makes excuses to close windows, turn off the AC, or redirect the fan to give his partner some reprieve. he gets him tea from the cafe. he walks home with him and tells him he looks like shit (they both know he's worried and just can't say it. that he doesn't know how to say it. that he's scared to say it) and Kunikida knows he's telling him to get some rest.

sometimes dazai calls Kunikida to make sure he's alright, flipping their usual script, and if Kunikida's cheeks are a little wet after each phone call, so what?

[willowisachy]

i hate the after-holiday crash/flare up i get. it’s like im being punished for having a good time and doing fun things :(

[asickandtirednobody]

It sucks when you are disabled in Ontario.

I am literally not able to work.

But since I am legally married to my wife, I don't get to collect disability.

Even when I did go on it for a bit, I was making half of minimum wage working 40 hours a week.

The cost of living has gone up, my cost of living has gone up, but the government thinks one income is enough.

I can't work anywhere. I am too sickly now and wouldn't be considered reliable. Which sucks, I used to be Mr. Reliable... Your disability making life harder every day, took parts away. My disability is taking parts of me, not only physically, but mentally...

[something-existing-somewhere]

Idk if I'm gonna be alive to see next year since my health issues are rapidly getting worse. I feel at peace with dying though. I've been trying to mentally get better but now that I'm mentally better my body is dying. I knew I'd die early some way or another. It's funny that I used to wish I was dead all the time but now that I actually want to live, I'm gonna die.

[howtobeapersonwithfibro]

I'm so terrified that the timing of my next procedure is going to mean I'll have to drop this semester's classes. I took 2 summer courses to get ahead so that I could be ready for internships next year, but it might be for naught if I can't take classes until spring because of recovery being the first week or two of classes. Sometimes it feels like I'll never finish only going two classes at a time (I'm at 95/120 credits now).

I'm just so exhausted with things being 100x harder than they have to be.

[cherry-pop-elf]

((Hey! Life update post. So I’m getting a wheelchair tomorrow. It’s kinda hard to process still. That I need a wheelchair. That people on my college campus have made fun of me for being disabled, and treat me so different. Being the only person on campus in need of a mobility aid because of a chronic illness. Not because of a accident or surgery. It’s really hard. I just don’t know what to do. Idk how my posting will go either. Maybe I’ll post more to compensate. Maybe less because of the crying. Just life update. Update that my health is just. Getting worse. Sorry. Cherry Cherry Wood is wheelchair bound. Mostly. Some days it’ll be Walker. But over all? It’s not safe for me to leave the house with out a mobility aid of some kind. I’m just so helpless. It’s terrifying. And no one irl understands, or worse. Doesn’t want to understand…George would. Right?

[cistematicchaos]

i'ont know how some other disabled folks manage being homebound. i want to meet people, i have shit i wanna do outside of the house, i don't even wanna be living here, i'm not entirely sure this counts as living most of the time. i don't like it. i feel like i'm struggling to keep my head above the water a lot of the time and rn? i just feel like i'm drowning.

[renee-writer]

[spookietrex]

Me filing for disability again: Hey guys, this time I can't leave my bed and my partner is literally doing everything for me. Like I can't walk more than 100 ft and that's with a mobility aid.

Disability: Prove it.

My therapist: Oh my God they're so miserable. They should NOT be working. Please let them focus on healing themselves because they had such a bad childhood.

My cardiologist: Yeah, that sounds smart. Let's work on managing stress first so we can manage your heart condition.

My neurologist(s): You should definitely not be working while you figure out what's causing these possible seizures.

My PCP: I don't know what they're talking about. They're making it all up. I know I diagnosed you with that heart condition, and that debilitating chronic illness (EDS) and fibromyalgia but NOW I'm going to edit your chart to make it look like you're making shit up. Hahaha you've never been diagnosed with PTSD! What are you talking about? I saw you walk once 8 months ago. You can totally walk without mobility aids now.

Disability: Clearly you just have anxiety and depression and are trying to get out of working.

[lesenbyan]

Sudden paranoia about having COVID instead of just a fibro flare + seasonal sinus issues but it's also been long enough since it started that my friends with worse immune systems woulda caught it by now and I won't have the results of a reliable test before jury duty tomorrow and hhnnnggg

[celestia-rambles]

*beats an ableist with my cane*

[asickandtirednobody]

I hate when the doctor gives me a new medication and says, "*explains side effects* but its not common at all to get the side effects, like less than 20% of people"

Then I say something I've said so much I lost count "but I am the 1% that always gets the weird ass side effects."

Or the best lie "this doesn't cause dependence at all, take as needed" *totally causes dependency*

Fucking glad my pharmacist is a good guy and always helps me out.