#fire is giving dy the confidence to believe that someone he loves will be in his corner and show up to support him

[twig-tea]

Fire and Dynamite Can Sit With Me

There have been a couple of really excellent posts about Fy and Dy on my dash this evening, and I wanted to yes, and them but am making my own post because things were getting long. First, if you haven't read this post by @waitmyturtles or this one by @lurkingshan or this one by @bengiyo do that first!

In addition to the moments all of these brilliant people have pointed out, I wanted to highlight a couple of other things.

First, like Ben mentioned, we find out later in the series that Dynamite first fell for Fire because he beat up bullies for him. The important thing this informs about how Dynamite interacts with Fire in the early episodes is that he sees Fire's fierceness as safety. This is important because Fire is RUDE, and it alienates other people from him. It also means that he knows Fire is a straightforward person who is not afraid to punch people he's genuinely mad at. Dy knows what Fire looks like when he's genuinely mad.

Second, one of the things that Dynamite picks up about Fire is how much attention Fire actually pays him. He says himself, if you weren't interested in me and you were interested in Jane, you wouldn't notice or care about my presence.

Third, Dy did not move in with Sansee in order to stalk Fire. It was a series of coincidences that led to them both being in that condo building. And when he says it's fate thanks to a goddess granting his wish, Fire doesn't disagree, he just curses out the goddess for granting Dy's wish.

Fourth, Dy is excellent at reading people and situations. You have to be when you have been bullied for your attitude in the past. He's constantly correctly reading Ten and his reactions to Prem, and he takes encouragement from how Fire reacts to him up until Fire legitimately wavers, and as mentioned by Shan in the previous linked post, that's when he backs off. Dy is not ever pushing when he can tell he's really unwanted, and he doesn't stand in Fire's way. He encouraged Fire to speak to Jane; he even got Fire Jane's contact info. He continues to flirt in front of Jane but he can tell she doesn't mind--we see him look at her and clock her reactions in those scenes. And he steps in immediately with Fire's mom to take the heat for Jane being in Fire's condo, without even talking about it, because he knows how damaging it can be to be cut off by a family member for being a disappointment.

So much about consent is body language and nuance. I'm not saying "no means yes" or whatever nonsense, but pushing when someone is genuinely uncomfortable even if they're not saying no is so much worse than sticking around even when someone tells you to go away because you can tell they're relaxed and not actually upset. The contrast in power dynamics, reading of body language, and consent vs non-consent is strong between Fire and Chef Changma, and Changma heartily loses that competition.

Despite clocking Fire as closeted from jump, Dy does not push Fire to come out. As Ben mentioned, he puts his own friend group--friends who at this point are functioning as his found family replacing the family that abandoned him, like so many of us have had to do--at risk to respect Fire's right to come out at his own pace.

Fire at first defaults to staying in the closet. But when he sees the toll that this has on Dynamite he decides to push himself to come out anyway, even though Dy is not making any demands.

As Turtles mentioned in their linked post, when Fire stops fighting himself with his whole being, he's soft. And this is how he is used to expressing love, it's how he expresses his love to his mother too.

In short (lol), I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOUR.

[overthinkinglotr]

I was watching LOTR with friends the other day and someone pointed out that a major reason film!Elrond is upset about Arwen being in love with Aragorn is because of Elrond's own broken relationship with Isildur.

In the films Isildur and Elrond are kind of set up as....a broken failed parallel to Aragorn and Arwen?

Arwen reassures Aragorn that "he is Isildur's heir, not Isildur himself," and "is not bound to his fate"-- but Elrond disagrees, confident that Aragorn will be just like Isildur.

Film!Elrond is so certain that trusting in mankind is a mistake that will only lead Arwen to misery because he once trusted in mankind, and the man he trusted ended up failing him. His ally from the line of Elendil ended up falling to the power of the Ring and dying; he believes Aragorn may do the same thing. He doesn't just want to save Arwen's life and keep his daughter by his side; he wants to prevent Arwen from experiencing the same betrayal/heartbreak he experienced. Film!Elrond is very stoic and unsentimental, but there are all these hints at Elrond and Isildur's past relationship throughout the series. Everyone likes to make the joke "why didn't Elrond just toss Isildur into the fire?" but to me the answer is, partially, because he cared about Isildur. They were allies who fought side-by-side. After describing what happened in Mount Doom all those years ago, Elrond tells Gandalf that "It should've ended that day, but evil was allowed to endure." And I think it's interesting that he goes into passive voice for a moment, instead of saying that Isildur specifically allowed to evil to endure--because he's also blaming himself for allowing evil to endure, blaming his own failure to be harsh with Isildur and take the Ring from him by force. He's regretting that he was merciful and didn't "just toss Isildur into the fire."

His complicated emotions about Isildur also appear again in the Two Towers. After insisting that Arwen needs to give up Aragorn as a lost cause and travel into the West, Elrond has a conversation with Galadriel where she guilt-trips him for abandoning Middle Earth/mankind. When she asks him "do we let them stand alone?" Elrond walks into the study, and spends a long moment looking at his mural of Isildur.

He then, in the film's canon, agrees to send military support to one of Isildur's descendants."I don't care about Isildur anymore, men are weak," Elrond says, standing in front of his elaborate mural of Isildur and his shrine dedicated to Isildur's sword.

And yes this is all, again, a drastic departure from his characterization in the book-- most of the Aragorn-Arwen-Elrond stuff in the films is a drastic departure from the book. The films radically alter their dynamics, including eliminating stuff like Elrond being Aragorn's adopted father and all the "their bloodlines are related" stuff and etc etc etc etc etc. But honestly, now that I see it, this interpretation makes the film!Elrond-Arwen dynamic engaging in a way I hadn't recognized before? In some ways it puts Isildur into the role that Elrond's mortal brother Elros played for him in the books, because Elros is cut from the films entirely. Isildur is the reason film!Elrond knows what it's like to have some kind of close relationship with a mortal and then watch them die. When Elrond angrily speaks about the folly of trusting men, or insists to Arwen that Aragorn "is not coming back" so she should just get over him, he's speaking from experience--he's projecting his own weird failed broken betrayal-ridden Thing with Isildur onto Arwen and Aragorn. And in this context, his hopeless monologue about how Arwen will regret staying by Aragorn's side also feels like it's partially from his own experience. "If Sauron is defeated, and Aragorn is made king, and all that you hope for comes true, you will still have to taste the bitterness of mortality." When he fought three thousand years ago Sauron was defeated, and Isildur did become King, and yet... TL;DR : Film!Elrond had a nasty kind-of breakup with a mortal man 3000 years ago and instead of dealing with it he decided "Men Are trash Weak" and began projecting all of his drama onto Arwen

[snootlestheangel]

My Favorite SoapGhost tropes

I just feel the need to put this out there

Some are slightly NSFW so read under the cut

"One of Them Gets An Awkward Boner While Pressed Together Trying to Hide From Hostiles"

Can't tell which one getting the boner is better. It's such a good trope regardless of which one is just shamelessly down bad for the other. My preference depends on how the relationship is being conveyed. As in like, which one is being portrayed as the Top and which is the Bottom. -Soap falling hard for Big Bad Ghost and Ghost knowing/realizing this and using it to make Soap totally melt in his hands. -*Ghost realizing he's still just a human, and upon seeing Soap, he knows he's a goner. Just Ghost being so desperate to have Soap toss him around and make him feel good. -Ghost getting all awkwardly hard is great cause it's Ghost and he should have better control over himself, he's in the middle of an assignment for fuck's sake! And also cause Soap then just gives him a knowing smirk or a little surprised "Oh". Soap suddenly realizing how much of a mess Ghost turns into because of him. -*Soap, on the other hand, getting all bothered and just trying desperately to not be so attracted to his lieutenant, only to open his eyes and realize Ghost is staring right at him. Soap dying of embarrassment when Ghost's eyes flick downwards ever so subtly. Later, Soap wanting to apologize for the awkward scenario, only for Ghost to either shut him down or subtly hint he found it attractive.

*These are my favorites tbh. Slap them together though! Ghost having a secret adoration for Soap, only for something to happen and Soap realizes he wants to get ruined by this big, scary lieutenant. Definitely wanting to combine Soap being down bad for Big Bad Ghost and Ghost using this to make Soap melt, but only after the awkward boner incident cause prior Ghost is all "I'd set the world on fire for him" and Soap is more "damn, he could break me and I'd thank him" * **100% using this in one of my works**

Soap Being Ghost's Redemption

Soap worship tropes go hard not gonna lie. Just something about Ghost seeing himself as something so broken, so fucked up, so dark there's no way he can be saved. Then he meets Soap and suddenly there is hope. There's a new belief that maybe Ghost isn't worthless, that maybe Simon Riley can be saved Bonus Points if Ghost and Simon are portrayed as being slightly separate entities and Ghost believing he can't be saved, but knowing Simon can be. Soap trying to prove that both can be saved because he's Simon "Ghost" Riley and is worth every breath

Confident Assholes in Love

Being so desperately in love but also being assholes will never not be fluff/comedy central. Them intentionally not doing anything when someone starts hitting on the other cause they know they're only for each other. The one getting hit on eventually putting a stop to it by just walking over to the other to make out in front of the person hitting on them. Them doing things to fuck with the other cause they know they're still in love regardless. Just a solid trope 10/10

Yeah, these are like my top 3 favorite SoapGhost tropes. They're just fire and I'd read anything involving any of these

[bluedandelion1]

Wukong cares about people. Macaque isn't a saint.

Alright, I've wanted to write this for a while, so here I go. English isn't my first language, so sorry for any typos.

I've been watching so many fananimations of LEGO Monkie Kid. They're all gorgeous, top of the top, excellent, chef kiss and I'm glad the fandom seems to be growing every day.

But I HATE how so many people have portrayed Wukong as an asshole who doesn't care about anyone. Love the animations, they're great but I don't think Wukong is the villain people make him out to be.

Now don't get me wrong, Wukong has made many, many, many, mistakes throughout his life. The thing is, people don't seem to realize that while he messed up, his intentions were good! "Yeah, right, then how is he such a bad mentor?" I'm gonna shut you up right there.

When MK first got the staff, he didn't know how to use it, I agree with you. But Wukong is a milennia old stone monkey who has gone through a lot on his life, getting stronger and stronger with each fight.

"Pfft, what about DBK? You can handle it! Consider it a trial"

That's what he tells MK when said boy asks him what to do with DBK, because for Wukong that fight is easy. He then reassures him that with enough confidence in himself he could take him on. He trusted MK since the first moment and even told him to consider it as a trial. He was evaluating MK during his fight to make sure he had picked the right successor.

And just in case and most probably noticing how nervous he was on his first fight, he kept an eye out on him to make sure to intervene in case MK needed help. Wukong already knew that MK was invincible before locking away some of his powers in the second episode, therefore he was confident that he would succeed. And even if he already knew he was going to defeat DBK, he still watched over him to make sure he wouldn't get hurt.

Following this battle, in the first episode "Bad Weather", MK doesn't call for Wukong's help. He's confronting Red Son when suddenly the staff acts on its own and takes him down to the ground and who appears afterwards? The Monkey King himself! Almost as if he had sensed that MK needed some help with defeating Red Son. Almost as if he had been the one to call for the staff so he could talk with his student. Again, he showed up on his own because he cares.

"Then what about that time he abandoned him?"

He didn't abandon him. To abandon someone is to stop supporting them, to give up completely in someone. Monkey King knew that LBD was coming back but he didn't want either MK or his friends to get hurt.

He's used to doing things on his own! I mean, on JTTW Wukong was always sent ahead to see if there were any demons that would kidnap Tripitaka. And even though he warned his companions numerous times that there were demons under the disguise of innocent people, they wouldn't believe him. So why should he tell MK and his friends that there's an enemy approaching? Every time he had warned other people of other threats, they had never believed him, so why should MK be any different?

I think that's one of the reasons why he didn't even try to defend himself when Pigsy snapped at him. Because he's used to taking the blame. What's the point in trying to do something right if you're going to be blamed for everything going wrong, regardless of how much you try to make it okay? He even tries to keep helping MK through his training with the astral projection throughout the whole season!

So, he searched for the map that would lead him to the rings of the Samadhi Fire, knowing full well that he could end up dying.

"This wasn't supposed to happen! I thought if I could somehow get the Samadhi Fire out of you, without hurting you of course, then I could put it inside myself. Then, I don't know, use it to burn up the Lady Bone Demon or something?"

Let's remember that while it's difficult to hurt Wukong, the Samadhi Fire is one of the powers that could actually kill him. He was willing to risk his life so he'd be able to save not only the whole world, but his friends as well. Do you realize how crazy that sounds? To be willing to give up his own life to save the Earth?

He even says that he wanted try to get the ring out of Mei without hurting her.

Would someone who didn't care about anyone try to make something as painless as possible for the victim? I don't think so.

Alright, let's focus on Macaque now for a bit.

My biggest beef with this guy is that some people seem to paint him as the misunderstood character who never did anything wrong because "Oh, my best friend abandoned me and woe is me!". Yuck.

While Macaque has many good reasons to be angry at Monkey King, that still doesn't give him the right to kidnap and trick MK. It doesn't give him the right to taunt him and make him feel like shit, nor the right to manipulate him and make him think that he's not a good successor.

"Well, you know what that means! There really isn't anything special about you. You're just some kid with a heavy stick!"

Macaque knew that if he hurt MK, eventually Wukong would come out to save him, because he knows that he'll protect him. This is a little theory of mine, but Macaque manipulates shadows, right? Who knows how many times he's watched MK from them? Because I don't think his plan to steal MK's powers was something he thought of in just one minute. No, I'm pretty sure that plan took a while to be thought of.

"Ah, MK. You really are dense, aren't you? You saw a story about a hero who got handed everything? Who didn't have to work for anything? And you thought you were the other guy? The second the hero got real power, he couldn't care less about his friends. That's you, bud."

He tricked him into sharing his insecurities, knowing full well that MK was vulnerable and stressed out about the whole LBD situation, then blamed him for not caring about his friends. He made him doubt whether he truly cares about his friends or not or whether he was even a good person.

And we all know how hard MK's worked to try to get control of his powers, especially after he lost them when LBD took away his staff. MK can be a lot of things: optimistic, a bit smug at times, a bit forgetful... But if there's one thing I'm sure of is that he worked hard to control his powers. He even asked Wukong to limit them so he could control them better, knowing that it'd be harder but he still did it.

And let's take into account that Wukong apologized to MK for how he acted towards him. Macaque, still to this day, hasn't apologized at all. And yet, he keeps mocking Wukong and saying he's the same old Wukong, while he himself is still stuck in the past.

I get that Macaque is angry at Wukong, I really do. But if he were really so angry against him, maybe he should've brought it to Wukong himself instead of using MK. He isn't a saint. He's made mistakes as well. These two are very complicated characters who have gone through a lot, but neither of them are blameless. Macaque isn't a saint, but he does care about some people. And although Wukong has made many mistakes, that doesn't mean that he doesn't care about other people.

Anyways, to finish it off, as MK once said:

"Uh, you know you two are the same, right?"

[groversimp]

Hey! First ever request, can i ask for a Luke Castellan x male reader where reader is an ill son of Ares and Luke nurses him back to health? Thank you lovely!!

Sorry, I Can’t Take Your Touch

YEARNING!!!

Ty for your patience anon!!

Warnings: stab wounds, slow burn, tension so hot it could burn someone, Luke, slightly suggestive?

This is post-betrayal, you’re a part of Kronos’ army

“I don’t need your help, Castellan.”

Those were the first words to come out of your mouth as Luke approached you with a first-aid kid, his darkened eyes glare down at you. You suck in a breath as you sit up from the blood-stained cot.

“Yes, you do, Y/L/N.” Luke’s voice is rough from the day of battle- screaming commands and demands. Anyone else would think he still looks confident, but you can see the exhaustion in his eyes. ‘He knows what he’s doing, this is his rebellion’ you tell yourself, if you were anyone but yourself you might believe your words. You know Luke, so much more than you know yourself even.

“No-“ You said, kicking a leg out to shove him away as he walks towards you. He dodges your attack with a swift step.

Leaning on the cot, his knee rests on your leg as he pins you down with one arm. “Stay.” He says, your witty response dies on your tongue.

He moves his arm to grab your waist, using his other hand to open the first-aid kit. He pours some rubbing alcohol on the deep cut, ignoring your wince. With a soft grunt, he shifts and pulls you up with him.

He starts to wrap the bandage-wrap around your mid-section, plush gauze and fluffy cotton over your wound.

“Where’d you learn this stuff, Luke?” You ask, soft words almost dying in the deep silence wracking through the room.

“These are just the basics, I picked it up from some Apollo’s kids before I left.” He says, Luke looks up at you- you’ve never called him by his first name. His eyes linger on you a beat too long, memorizing the concerned furrow of your eyebrows, the deep fire that lays beneath your eyes. Everything he loves about you. It’s like second-nature to him.

“You never learned, Y/N?” Hearing your name slip from his mouth felt so wrong yet so right, and you know you would give anything to hear him say it again.

“No,” you say. “No, I never wanted to.” Luke hums in response. After awhile of silence, he looks up at you, eyes looking over your form.

His lips are a hairbreadth away from yours, so close you can feel them but not close enough to be pressed against yours. It’s almost painful, the desire you have for him. The want, the need, to have him to yourself. To lock him away and keep him safe. Away from wars, away from commanding.

He pulls back, away from you, then stands up without a look at you.

“Rest, Y/N.” He says, voice deep and shadowed eyes not looking to you. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As he left, you sighed and fell deeper into the cot. You really should stop this before it begins.

[xerith-42]

Thanks for posting about Gaza, it’s nice to see people using their platforms to help. May I please have some Araphel/shadow lord angst ? 😉😉 Also thanks for the shadow knight angst.

First of all, I'm glad I was able to use my platform to help, even as small of a contribution as it is.

Second of all, I am always happy to deliver my musings about Araphel, the pathetic little man. Part of what I love about him is that I truly believe he was once a good person. In fact, I imagine that he was a rather good person until he got his relic, and even then, he couldn't have been terrible for that long, otherwise Irene wouldn't have put up with him.

I feel like this is the point where I should clarify that I literally forgot the entire plot point of all the other relic holders dying and reincarnating a bunch while Irene remained alive. In my brain they still do reincarnate, but not nearly as often, and the relics prolong their lives pretty significantly regardless. And I don't think Araphel ever reincarnated, I think he just persisted living far longer than Irene wanted to deal with and every time she saw him he was less and less of the man she once knew.

A man who, while still prone to his vices, was an ultimately kind person. A natural born leader who met Irene while she was traveling in search of other relic holders. He wasn't one at the time, but she did have her hands on the relic of the destroyer, one she was hesitant to give to anyone. She needed someone she could trust with this power. And despite a seemingly normal meeting between the leader of a small collective and some traveler, the two quickly became far more than strangers to one another. I see their relationship as one that happened hard and fast.

The world wasn't kind before the Divine Warriors. People already die all the time in Ru'aun after them, imagine how bad it was before magic was a widespread thing. The average life expectancy is lucky if you make it to thirty, and Araphel was already approaching that number. Thus they fell for one another, as if they'd always known each other, existing in one another's arms like it was all that mattered. For Irene, she had someone to truly confide in who would listen to her at her worst moments free of judgement. And for Araphel, it was like his arms were the arms the world was held in.

Irene was everything to him. She was everything in general. She was a healer in a broken world full of dying people, and out of everyone she could have chosen to be her lover, she chose him. A simple man with a big heart. She chose him. She bound the relic of the destroyer to him because she had seen nearly every emotion a man could display when she was with him, she knew he could be trusted. She knew he loved her and would fight by her side.

Araphel once wore his heart out on his sleeve. It was part of what drew Irene to him, a foolhardy man who doesn't know how not to express himself, in spite of the dangers and horrors of the world around him. She trusted him. And as their relationship fell apart, as things deteriorated due to Esmund being a bitch about things, due to dark magic pulling on his vices, and due to the destructive nature of his relic, she lost that trust. And yet, in spite of everything, he still trusted her. He anticipated the other warriors turning against him, but he didn't anticipate Irene helping their cause. He still trusted her.

These phrases are often heard in mutterings from his weakened state, or even in a Shadow Knight's calling if applicable. "I trusted her." "I loved her." "She was the world." "I trusted her." "She left me to die." "Did she even love me at all?"

Any time something like that is said in the mind of a Shadow Knight, ESPECIALLY A CERTAIN SOMEONE, it's very likely that Araphel is deliberately making these thoughts worse, fueling the fire of his undead puppets with his own malice. Irene was everything to him when they were young foolish lovers sharing blissful kisses in a field of flowers under the light of the sun, and Irene is still everything to him as he actively rots in the hell she threw him into.

[atopvisenyashill]

Do you think Braime will happen? And how?

I’m fairly confident they will exchange i love you’s, i go back and forth on whether they fuck or not before he dies.

i’m admittedly fuzzy on the details. I think Brienne is going to Do A Scheme to get herself, Pod, and Jaime out of the LSH mess alive and feel hugely guilty over it - to be real clear, she's luring Jaime to LSH, then they're escaping with Pod, but they're not actually having a hand in LSH's end, that's Arya's job. Jaime, meanwhile, will just be happy they’re alive, and will probably think it’s funny Brienne convinced herself that he’d hate her for lying to him when she just saved him from a zombie horror. Likely they split again soon after this because Brienne gets wind of Sansa being in the Vale and goes to get her before someone else does (unsure whether she pulls a full on Dunk and gets to the tourney on time to see something happen and makes off with Sansa that way, or if she meets up with Sansa as Sansa is escaping and saves her, but either way, basically the moment the tourney happens, I expect some crazy shenanigans to go down, and Brienne to swoop in, save Sansa, and make for the Wall for safety from Jon Snow). If you're interested in those theories, please look at my ashford tourney theory tags and the ser shady i mean ser shadrich tags! Now, what is Jamie doing during this time?

fuck if i know bro and that's the honest truth! Because he is the valonqar and he’s gonna do some valonqarizing, obviously, but i don’t think it necessarily means he kills cersei and I know I'm in the minority opinion with that here BUT. None of the other prophecies are that literal and yet everyone assumes he's going to literally strangle her to death because Cersei thinks she's going to be literally strangled to death, and we are somehow taking Cersei at her word here even though she's wrong about literally everything, the same way every single person in this series who tries to guess prophecies are wrong about everything! But the imagery, you say, the dreams of strangling her, the stuff about his golden hand! Yeah, I'm well aware of that, I’m not saying he’s doing anything nice to her, i think he’ll have a hand (badum-ts) in her dying, probably enough to feel guilty over it too (plus whatever is happening with tyrion) but he’s not strangling her to death and I simply do not believe he's dying right after either. What is he doing? no idea. they’re at casterly rock and he uses the last of the conditioner and then he leaves. i have no idea and I think people who are insistent that he HAS to murder-suicide his way out of the story are overconfident af about that ending.

after that. lots of war. they’re twin fires side by side in the darkness. Jaime will knight Brienne after he valonqarizes. If they say i love you, this is where it happens. If they fuck, this is definitely where it happens. They will be at the trident - perhaps stuck there, perhaps sent there on a mission by whichever Starkling is ruling the North. They will fight there, and Jaime will fall, but not before seeing Brienne bravely keep fighting, and having hope that she will live.

And she will. Brienne will live, Brienne will rise high, Brienne will not abandon her oaths, because Brienne is the True Knight, the bastion of goodness and heroism that Jaime needed when he was a young man, and she will continue to give others hope like she has given to him by staying true to the ideals of being a knight if not the minutiae of the vows she's sworn.

Anyways, my point is that I believe Jaime is going to have a Vader-esque "tell Sansa and Arya you were right about me" ending and Brienne will be the Luke in this situation, picking up the saber sword of the man who knighted her. What's that post that's like, Anakin asks Qui-Gon if he's here to free the slaves and Qui-Gon says no, only for Anakin's own son to show up decades later and say no, I am the last Jedi and I am here to free the slaves. That's Brienne and Jaime, except there's kissing involved.

[jojikawa]

✦ 𝙎𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙧 ✦

𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚞 𝙶𝚘𝚓𝚘 𝚡 𝙴𝚟𝚒𝚕!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

♡ wc: 2k

♡ warnings: Mostly angst, some fluff, reader being mean to Satoru and making threats, soft Satoru, crying mentions of suicide and mental illness.

To everyone else, Satoru seemed like a typical Satoru but anyone who knew him and the things he went through would understand his immediate thought process. He was the strongest Jujustu Sorcerer humanity has had in centuries yet his circumstances made him feel like the weakest human man alive. He had lost the love of his life.

The girl and then woman who had been with him from the very beginning. Everyone thought of him as a ladies' man, having fun with the idea of entertaining many girls at once but every single one of them was wrong. He was deeply in love with one woman, often thinking of marriage and children. 

Satoru loved the faces you’d make whenever he would express the impossible promises he would try to get you to agree with. 

“S-Satoru?! I can’t have 10 kids! That’s crazy!”

“Oh, C‘mon! It’s not that crazy!”

The brief memories could make him cry but what brought him to tears was your smile. You would sit with him under a tree, imitating the behavior of teenagers. Sometimes, it was hard to believe at first glance that you two would be approaching your 30s. He would lay in the grass with his head on your lap and his eyes closed, drifting in and out of slumber while you stroked his hair and stuck flowers in his hair that you found suitable.

His eyes would flutter open, seeing your radiant smile that never seemed to get old. It was so attractive and alone was able to make him blush and look away. Something that only you were able to do. His confidence shattered in your presence. 

Now, all that was left was a sly smirk and eyes filled with fire, standing by Suguru Geto, his closest friend. Despite your relationship with Satoru, he was unable to pull you from your ideas and declining mental health. With him, you seemed happy, but in reality, you saw no point in being a sorcerer. You were so strong, just like Satoru, but the sight of innocents dying to curses weighed on you so much. Curses would never be able to kill you but they did make you tired. 

It was much too late when you said things that began to worry your boyfriend. Things like:

“Satoru, is there even a point to this? One day, we will die and curses will keep killing people. Doesn’t this all just feel like a waste of time.”

“Let’s run away, Satoru. We only get one chance at life and I don’t want our lives to be like this.”

This only caused Satoru to give you a dumbfounded look. He never knew what to say or how to console you when you got like this other than reassure you that shaping the new generation would solve this problem. 

It was never enough. The two of you drifted apart the more you descended into madness. Satoru held on as long as he could until one day…you disappeared. Thinking something happened to you, maybe you took your own life or someone who knew of your involvement with him kidnapped you, he went rogue. He was ready to fight tooth and nail for you. Ready to kill someone. Anything. 

His world fell apart when he learned that you left willingly. He became so heartbroken. The hole you left in his heart was too great. He couldn’t move on. He couldn’t even think of other women. How would he explain this to Megumi? He didn’t want the boy to hate you. You were like his mother. 

Satoru wasn’t able to bear what would come next. He became so much more outspoken and disobedient after hearing the heinous things the elders and fellow sorcerers had to say about you. They would compare you to Suguru when you were nothing like him.

You were a beautiful soul who just wanted to be free. 

He vowed to save you. Somehow, someway. He didn’t know, nor did he care. He only visualized himself doing it. Things would go back to normal and the two of you wouldn’t even need to talk about it. He wouldn’t question you at all. He just wanted you back and in his arms again, playing with his hair and smiling at him so cutely that he could kiss you. 

There was truly no way. As a curse user, you seemed so far removed from the lover he knew, but he still loved and wanted you. Even when you were the one causing people to die. It was like you were under a spell. 

Satoru made his poor attempts to get through to you, going out of his way to find you in the wild when he was supposed to be doing something much more important. At first, it had become annoying but you learned to love the chase. 

You rarely stayed with the curse users and curses, preferring to stay on your own. This allowed Satoru to detect your presence so that he could come to find you. It was usually a fancy hotel or a vacant home of a rich person.

This time, Satoru teleported to you when he had sensed where you were. This time it was behind you. He had done it so many times that you expected it.

“Satoru~,” You would call his name like a disappointed mother, speaking so much more different than he remembered. “I told you not to come to find me.”

The sorcerer made himself comfortable, sitting in whatever seat was nearby. He looked around to take in the room before replying to you. “I just wanted to check on you.” He often lied to minimize how desperate he would sound if he let words fall out of his mouth like vomit.

“There’s no need. You may go.” You gave him a close-eyed smile, looking so much happier, but he knew it was fake. It was unfortunate that he saw your love through rose-tinted glasses. 

“It’s not too late, (y/n). You don’t need to be a sorcerer. We can-“

“You don’t listen, do you?” You raised your voice octaves above his own, cutting his speech but he just continued. 

“…run away together.”

You shook your head. “‘Toru, one day you will understand how mortal you are and how futile your cause is. Your status has made you blind to such obvious facts.” You narrowed your eyes and looked away from him once you processed what he said. You didn’t realize he was so emotionally involved with you. Still.

“Running away won’t change my mind either.” You told him. This didn’t deter him at all. He knew you. You would deny the love and support because you were so set in your self-destructive ways.

But he loved you and all of your flaws.

“(y/n), please.” He got up from his seat, taking steps toward you. You wouldn’t be swayed at all. “Please, what?” You repeated, tilting your head. You thought of him to be so pathetic sometimes. You also knew him.

“You can always come back to me. You don’t need to worry about the higher-ups. I’ll make them forgive you.” He tried to reach out to you, wanting some kind of contact, but you smoothly pulled away before any could be made. “Forgiven? They never cared about me. You were the only one who mattered to them.”

That was semi-true. Satoru was considered to be extremely valuable but you were the only person who treated him like a human being. 

It was only until now that Satoru respected your personal space. He couldn’t hold his feelings of sadness and guilt inside anymore. He missed you so much. He just wanted everything to be normal again.

“Then they don’t need to. It can be just you and me, please, think about how I feel too. I miss you.” 

You laughed lightly. “Just ‘us’? Satoru, there is no us. Have you ever listened to the things I’ve said? One day, you’ll be consumed by enough guilt. Only then, you’ll realize.”

His sad eyes gazed helplessly into your dull ones. There was no real way of getting through to you?

“Now,” You began. “I suggest you leave or else I would be left with no choice but to fight you.” You placed your hand on your cheek in a cute way. You didn’t know what possessed you to act this way towards him but you felt like it was the only way to get through to him. Perhaps if you got him to stop loving you, this path would be easier.

Satoru knitted his eyebrows together and narrowed his eyes at you. “Please don’t say things like that. We won’t fight. One day, you’ll change your mind and I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

You felt the bigger male grab your hand and squeezed it tightly. He expected you to pull away to harshly reject him but…it didn’t happen. You interlock your fingers with his, smiling softly. The look on his face was so adorable. His beautiful blue eyes widened like sauces as he felt a bit of love. 

“(y/n)-“

“You’re right…” You whispered. You looked down at your hands together. It felt just like before when he would hold your hand to comfort you. The only thing that was missing was his silly attempts to kiss you smoothly while standing and failing because of his height.

“…because if we fought, I would kill you.” You then made eye contact with him again. His mouth hung open in disbelief like you stabbed a knife in his heart. His fingers were stiff and cold as he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “And you would let me.”

Satoru couldn’t hold it in anymore. Your words broke him down. They cut his throat like swords, hitching his breath as single drops of tears spilled out of his eyes. How could you? How could you be so distant? So cold? 

The strongest sorcerer refused. He wouldn’t accept this as his lover's fate. No matter how offensive you were towards him. He embraced you, trembling like a child but he didn’t care. The man already felt so small and weak. 

“Get off.”

“No!”

“Goddamnit, I said get off!” You violently pushed him, harder than you had wanted to, causing him to fall flat on his bottom. 

Your face was no longer soft and smiling. Just twisted and full of malice. He’s never seen you angry before. Only ever just smiling or crying. “I’m not changing my mind. Stop finding me.”

“You will!” He cried.

“Shut up! Find someone else. There are plenty of people on this giant heap of floating garbage. Fall in love again. Do something!” You snapped. You felt your heart rate rising. You’ve never shouted at him until now. You never needed to. He would always listen to you before. Why could he do it now?

Did he love you? Why is it so hard for him to let you go? Why couldn’t he just be normal?

You began to hyperventilate, just a little bit. You’ve always been so sure of yourself but now you feel your heartache.

“I don’t want anyone else.” 

You squeezed your eyes shut before turning away from him and covering your face with your eyes. You began to sob. Why did he have to make this so hard?

Why?

Why?

Why?

“Satoru leave.” Your muffled speech reached his ears. This is the first time he’s gotten a reaction like this. All the efforts he’s made so far haven't been of any success.

You were tired. Of what? He didn’t know. Maybe it was loneliness. You always felt alone and helpless in your situation. He wanted so badly to be strong enough to fix it. 

Satoru would change the world, just for you.

He got up from the ground, making his way over to you. He hugged you from behind and placed his head in the crook of your neck. It had been a good moment without you pushing him and took this as his queue to continue.

“I’ll stay.” His face was now stained with tears. It wasn’t often when he cried but he didn’t mind doing it for you. Whatever it took for you to realize he cared. “I’ll stay forever. I love you.”

“I…” You lifted your head from your hands. Everything was running through your mind at once. You wanted this path. You enjoyed having control over your life for once…but also loved Satoru, more than anyone else.

“I love you too, Satoru. I-I’m sorry!”

[undergrounddweller89]

SO ANOTHER CHAI X KALE RAMBLE TURNED HALF DRABBLE I GUESS

Consensual half choking

Kale is bottom and he loves when Chai visits the office

You can kinda tell my mind went all over the place I guess but here just dunno enjoy?

❤️

insert evil laughing gif xD man can you just imagine Chai sauntering into Kale's office though.

Kale swallows thickly and watches him, his body is drawn to him, it's like an addiction, he wants to go to him, feel his warmth , his hands, but he stays seated, good and obedient.

He has nothing he can bribe Chai with to be there, Chai could and can leave any time he wants and that's what scares him and makes him feel completely wonderfully weak, in a way no one else ever has before.

He has to submit to this being, if it were anyone but Chai he’d obliterate them, but he’d seen what he could do, for all the times he called him a defect...he was...had been jealous. Kale had made so many complicated plans and still...he’d lost because Chai had always been to the point, made the best of what he had and made to admit Chai’s talent was natural... wonderful and unique...one of a kind.

Chai had told him he’d noticed the musical puns he’d been using specifically on him, a fleeting moment when he’d visited him in the prison Korsica was keeping Chai in at the time , Kale had blushed and tried to deny it at first until the idiot had told him he thought it was cute...they’s shared a kiss and he’d felt like someone with their first crush the way he’d turned from confident to bashful in matter a of moments under Chai’s watchful stare, the calls they’d already shared...

(NGL kinda wanna ramble write a prison cell ramble about these two)

He hadn’t aimed the robots lasers at Chai, he’d aimed them at Korsica.

Had he fired her for failing to keep Chai in place where he could reach him whenever he wanted, or had he been jealous she was so close to what was his? He figured Chai would survive, he seemed to have a knack for surviving the impossible...of course he called that night just to make sure.

Watching Chai move in closer he still couldn't believe that in that last moment as he'd been flying through the air, sure of what would be his end , despite all the flirting and the secret kisses , the hidden dark corners where desire had taken over them and they'd become one , hurried moments of passion he'd always seen one of them dying as if it was in inevitable truth...

But that day he'd felt something grab onto him and pull him back before Chai’s feet in a crumpled heap and before he’d passed out he’d heard Chai shouting at Peppermint.

‘You were just going to let him die...he’s your brother... he’s not perfect...you really think you’re better than him? You weren’t even gonna give him a chance to be better! I changed why can’t he?’

Finally...he thought as he passed out, someone cared about him.

It was still a marvel after everything that Chai had shown him mercy...he’d never told Chai that a part of him had been alright with the idea of dying so long as it’d been by Chai’s hand...his Rockstar truly had no idea how much he was committed to him even more so after that moment when the world had turned black and he’d awoken to find him sleeping by his bed side and holding his hand.

Kale couldn’t help but smile, god Chai always seem to sleep in the most uncomfortable positions.

Now here he was again waiting patiently for him, watching his every movement, that beat in his step...he remembered also the first time Chai had shown him a trick that nearly blew his mind...and knew he’d found the perfect drug.

Something called a beat thrust that he’d never fully understand but when Chai hit it perfectly his back would arch and legs would tighten around his lovers waist he’d torn through all the layers of clothing the first time Chai had pulled it off and cum embarrassingly early, while leaving scratches that thankfully hadn’t been deep along Chai’s back.

Now Chai was kneeling on his chair, one knee between his thighs and metal fingers playfully around his neck

Placing small lingering kisses along his cheek bone along his jaw and whispering against his ear

“You miss me baby?”

Kale had power, money, influences connections, good ones he’d made sure to change to be better after Chai had given him the chance to...and what made him so intoxicating was that Chai wasn’t interested in any of his power, the sole reason he was there was because of him, not for the name or all the treasures that could come with it, it was him and in that truth Kale knew he was Chai’s...and if anyone tried to take him away

...well he might just simply have to kill them... he could have his little group of friends...but there had been a few disappearances...sometimes he wondered if Chai knew...or was that level of idiot cute... nodding as Chai placed his thumb against his bottom lip he answered

“My world is nothing when you’re not in it Chai...you know that, can I kiss you?”

Chai smirked at the breathless voice of his partner and turned Kale’s head to look at him as he playfully booped his nose

“Magic word old man.”

“Please?”

Chai paused a moment and it was those moments Kale loved , those moments Chai made sure he was okay when he was in charge

“Not being too rough am I?”

“No...if you were I’d say that stupid word you made me promise to say.”

“Kale safe words are important.”

“Yes but I’m not saying it so a little rougher if you p-“

Chai’s confidence was back as he forced Kale harder against the chair so that his head tilted back.

“Bruises like last time gorgeous? People will be wondering why you’re wearing scarves in summer Vandelay.”

“None of their business...I want your marks...for the days you can’t be here...”

Kale ground out between clenched teeth, only to then bite his bottom lip , looking up at the younger man with pleading eyes, his hips shifting, eager to get some friction from the knee that was sat between his thighs.

Chai couldn’t help but smirk, looking him up and down slowly, thinking how good Kale looked when he allowed himself to be at his mercy. Leaning forward lips lingering just a breath away.

“Both hands later or just the one today?”

Kale whined trying to close the gap and kiss him only to feel Chai’s grip tighten and keep him in place.

“Just...one today.”

“Good boy, you know I like it when you communicate with me.”

Chai praised him and closed the gap, kissing him slow and steady, eyes closed , he’d missed his taste, the way Kale could grow so desperately hungry for him, feeling Kale’s teeth biting softly at his bottom lip, oh Vandelay was eager today. Pressing his fingers in just enough to mark him, just how he liked, how he wanted, easing enough to let him breathe when he needed to.

Sinking further into the kiss he moaned deeply as he felt those claws finding their way under his clothes and onto his hips, Chai was completely aware of the danger they held and the control Kale had over such power...it was a sin and yet divine all at once, he couldn’t believe how barely a year ago how unhappy they’d been only to find happiness in each other.

Kale thought about how close to death and almost taking over the world he’d been to now , it was almost unreal and dreamlike , if this was a dream he hoped never to wake and he fell repeatedly into Chai’s wants and desires without a fight, he was wanted for him and with that he would submit himself always and willingly to him.

Chai ended up ravishing Kale on his desk, all through a phone meeting, no video calls of course but Kale had to keep his composure, which had failed him in the end, Chai he made him come undone a whimpering mess over the surface of his desk, moaning his lovers name, knees together and the warmth of Chai’s human hand wrapped around his cock as his metal one pulled at his hair, he loved every second and the person on the phone had to pretend like nothing was happening because the meeting was too important to hang up on, breathless with seed dripping from his cock, splashes under the desk , he could feel Chai still in him, long after he’d pulled out, Chai fucked him with what felt like within an inch of his life and he LOVED it.

Here came his favourite part, the soft kisses and tender touches, the comfort that came after the roughness he asked for , the fond cooing and making a fuss of him, clean up and how they would snuggle in his giant office chair for hours until one of them fell asleep, they always made one promise in this that the other would never wake up alone, that a kiss goodbye would be given in a promise of always returning.

The world might know they were together but it was still fun to pretend they were sneaking around just like the first time Chai had ever talked dirty to him...and he'd realised the only way you could spell

Perfect was by spelling it D-e-f-e-c-t , for what was a world without flaws, with out it’s peculiarities? Boring ...that’s what it was and Chai was anything but.❤️

[peakdeer]

Day 6 - Night

THIS WAS DONE YESTERDAY I SWEAR. It was! It's just, we went to some comedian-thingie and we got home at ten and I didn't have time to post it. It was done yesterday though!

Shrub hummed softly, staring up in the abyss of the sky. It took longer for the stars to appear here, something she still hadn’t gotten used to. A tapping to the wooden roof shillings alerted her, and she turned, relaxing when she noticed it was Sausage. She didn’t know why he’d come today, only that he’d avoided all her questions. It wasn’t really any of her business anyway, so she hadn’t pushed. It was getting kind of boring though, this silence. The stars were usually enough for her, but they weren’t out yet.

“It almost feels like we’re camping,” She joked. “Got any good stories to share?”

Sausage’s head shot up, pupils dilating. He relaxed a second later, offering her a half smile. “Yeah, actually. Mythland had a lot of myths. Hard to believe, I know.” 

Shrub had to laugh at that, leaning back against her roof. “Fair, fair. Are you willing to tell a few?”

“Uh, sure. There were a bunch of stories about these three dragons that lived around the empires. There was a great dragon in the mountains, believed to be in the Crystal Cliffs. It’s believed that it’s skull rests there, underneath the snow. There was another one, in a hilly area that no one’s sure where it is. There was a third, a little dragon believed to be buried in the Codlands. Some even say that it might be the cod skull Jimmy wears, but I don’t believe that. The three dragons were allies, sharing their gold and riches, until they all perished, wasting away into the soil.”

“Ooh,” Shrub breathed. “That’s fascinating! You know, you’re a pretty good storyteller, Sausage.”

“I- I’m really not that good. It wasn’t really even a story, there wasn’t much to it,” Sausage deflected.

“Well, then tell me a story! Or more of these little myths, I’m not picky. We’ve got all night,” Shrub prompted.

“Oh- alright. There were stories of a little phantom as well— I always liked that one, maybe because I sympathized with her. She’d lived a happy life, with her friends and family, but she’d ended up dying of a sickness. She was caught in the Spirit Realm for many years, and by the time she made it out to watch over her family, they were all gone. She visited all the places they’d lived, all the places that meant something to her. She reminisced on the memories she’d shared there, floating from one place to the next. She didn’t know where to go, after that— her family was gone, and she’d have to search the Spirit Realm to find them. Dejectedly, she made her way to the place she’d lived all her life. Upon reaching it, she saw it was empty and bare. She fell to her knees in sorrow, feeling alone and left behind. The stories say that she may still be there to this day, unless she’s already faded away.”

Shrub rearranged herself until she was tilted towards his hunched form, giving him her best please tell me a story eyes that always got her another bedtime story from her father, hoping he would continue.

He looked a bit more confident now, as if what he’d needed all along was a little bit of encouragement. “There was also a story of a grim reaper. He’d been chosen after his death to punish those who had done wrong, but to him, everyone had done wrong. Everyone had wronged him in some way or other, from the smallest mistake to the largest crime. He went out into the world with his deadly scythe, killing all those in his path. Eventually, the gods of the Spirit Realm were alerted to this. They tried to recall him, but he’d grown too powerful. In a last attempt, they called out to the goddess of life to take care of him. The reaper was divinely punished, dying in a flame of holy fire.”

“Sounds like he got what he deserved,” Shrub noticed with a thrill. She loved stories like that, where the bad guy was defeated and the day was saved.

“Yeah. There were lots of stories like that, where someone turned evil and was punished. There were almost as many stories where the villain wasn’t punished as the ones where they were, though,” He remarked with a frown.

“Such as?” Shrub was too invested now, curious about these stories that she hadn’t heard before.

“There was one about the vex and the fairy, for example. The vex was jealous of the other flying creatures because its own flight was less-than-impressive, so it began killing them with the power of its hatred. Eventually, it had killed all the flying creatures but one— the fairy. The fairy’s positivity countered the vex’s negativity, which infuriated the vex even more. The vex confronted the fairy in its home, tearing off its wings and sending it tumbling from its tower.”

“Oh, the poor fairy!” Shrub gasped. “Isn’t tearing off its wings a bit cruel?”

“Probably,” Sausage agreed, “But vexes are cruel.”

There was silence before Sausage piped up with a question. “Did you know that the blood sheep weren’t the only cult in Mythland?” Shrub shook her head no, beckoning for him to continue.

“There was another cult in Mythland, devoted to the Orb rather than the blood sheep. It was run by enderians, who were said to be able to hear the Orb. They believed that it had created all things and controlled the future. There were two main leaders of this cult: the first tried to make even the endermen who lived out in the wild sociable members of society. The second was more cruel. She was part of the Midnight Walkers, although she served the Orb above all. While her predecessor believed that the Orb wanted to establish peace, she believed that the Orb wanted her to rule the fledgling empires and spread darkness across the land.”

“Who were the Midnight Walkers?” Shrub asked curiously.

“They were a group of five dark beings, born of the night and suffering. As I mentioned, there was the enderian, but there was also a shadow, a wither, another soul-eater, and their leader, a vampire. They were cruel and ruthless, murdering many defenseless creatures. They tormented the land for many years until they were all defeated. The enderian died to her own people, which is believed to be proof that she was not in fact following the Orb’s will. The soul-eater starved to death, unable to find enough souls to sustain itself. The vampire was killed by two dragons it had attempted to steal from, a great example of karma. The last two were a bit more interesting— they weren’t truly evil. The wither was often found helping creatures of the light, even though it served the darkness. In the end, though, it stayed with the other Midnight Walkers until it fell from the heights due to its own power. The shadow wasn’t evil at all, only wanting to be accepted by the other creatures of the light and able to exit into the day without going blind. The shadow was rejected by her fellow companions when she tried to suggest that they didn’t kill others, being sent away in betrayal. She later decided to rejoin, to go the extra step and kill someone— but she died before she could do so, dying alone and rejected where no one would look for her. This is the history of Mythland, or so the stories say.”

There was silence for a minute as they digested those stories. Shrub said nothing; she felt the literary poems said everything she could. Such a masterpiece needed no addition. 

“Pix keeps trying to convince me that the wither was once an angel and was corrupted by the vampire because ‘he read it in the history books’ and ‘that’s what the older manuscripts say’,” Sausage snorted, rolling his eyes.

“You don’t seem like you believe that,” Shrub noted, eyeing Sausage’s defiant expression from the corner of her eye.

“No, I don’t, and no amount of ‘evidence’ or ‘history’ is gonna convince me otherwise. The idea that someone else could make you evil—it’s stupid. If you’re evil, it’s because of choices you made,” Sausage huffed. There was a beat of silence in which they took in the words. On surface level, maybe one could brush it off, but Shrub could tell there was a deeper meaning.

“Well,” She began softly, “he wasn’t all that evil, was he? Whether he was once an angel or not, he was led astray. He wanted to please the vampire. He did good things, too.”

There was a strangled sound, and Sausage looked away from her, back into the forest. When he spoke again, his words were low and quiet, but they couldn’t disguise the choked sadness that permeated them. “Did you have any myths?”

“We had a few. Not very many, not nearly as many as you had. There were a few myths about similar species—like the hobbits and smurfs! There were a few stories about them. The smurfs were said to have a little farming village with cute little paths, where they practiced all sorts of trades… There weren’t very many stories about the smurfs.” Shrub rambled, waving her arms aimlessly into the sky. “There were a few more stories about the hobbits, though. They’re related to the gnomes, after all! Not as closely related as the truffles, though—those are pretty much the same as gnomes, just with a few extra abilities. Gnomes live in normal forests with mushrooms, but truffles originated from the mushroom islands. That’s why—oh! I’m getting off track,” Shrub realized, chuckling with embarrassment. “The hobbits lived in the sides of hills or cliffs, kind of like my main house. They used a lot of clay and terracotta in their houses, and their villages were said to be really pretty. They were said to live near the smurfs and trade with them in order for crops that they couldn’t produce in their villages. Eventually, though, they began to move away—closer to the gnomes. I’ve never met one, but my parents said they lived in other gnome villages near ours. I always wanted to meet them.” Shrub went silent, her excitement fading when she realized that she’d never get that chance. She’d never get to meet a hobbit like she’d always wanted. “One of them stayed, though! By the smurf village. One of them stayed. He was friends with the truffle that lived nearby, so he stayed. He helped watch the little golem child the truffle had—it’s weird, I didn’t know small golems existed—and it lived happily. Well. Until he died.”

“’He lived happily, until he died,’” Sausage parroted. “Absolutely. Makes sense. Happy ever after, and then they die. I loved stories that ended like that.”

“Oh, shut up,” Shrub swatted his shoulder. “Most of the stories don’t mention him dying,  because one that’s really sad, and two, no one’s sure exactly what happened.”

“Ooh, a mystery! Do continue, go on,” Sausage waved his hand dismissively, as if he were the king and she was his entertainer. He burst into laughing a second later, though, so she decided not to take it personally. “Well, the stories say that there was a dark creature that came in the night and tried to attack the hobbit. The hobbit ran to his truffle friend’s house, looking for safety. The truffle tried to protect them, but… they both died,” Shrub finished.

“Well, that’s just a ray of sunshine. No wonder they cut it out of the stories,” He commented.

“It wasn’t all bad! When the truffle died, he became a ghost and haunted the dark creature! He kept reminding the dark creature of what he did, of the people he’d murdered, and he… followed him around as he killed more people.” There was a pause in the conversation, and Shrub could swear she could hear a cricket chirping.

“That’s a great thing to aspire to be. I’ll follow around an evil guy like his conscience and watch pointlessly while he kills more people!’” Sausage joked sarcastiacally.

“There were—there were other stories too! There was a little fable that I loved as a kid—it was about a little inchworm that was building its chrysalis in the ground. Weird, I know—inchworms make their chrysalises on trees, not in the ground. Plus they don’t build them, per say, they kind of… wiggle? And secrete… I dunno, some sort of substance? But, it’s a fable, it doesn’t have to make sense. So, the inchworm was building its home, and it wasn’t big enough for the little inchworm’s chrysalis. So, the inchworm decided to dig up a bit. And when it dug up, sand fell into its home, and it… suffocated. Uh. So maybe that’s not a happier story. There—there were happy ones, I promise! Like- like- oh! There was—there was this truffle! She had a little house on an island, in a dark forest—kind of like your empire! She was faced with many challenges, like an evil shadow, and people spreading lies, and being mean—but she overcame them all! She defeated her adversaries, made friends, made alliances, and she made her island the prettiest little place you’ve ever seen! And then there was one about the Wolf Spirit! It was always said to appear in the dead of night, defending small villages from mobs that might try to attack them. There were these things called blood moons—when the moon was red, and really bad mobs spawned. On those days, the Wolf Spirit was even stronger. It defended those villages like nobody’s business. All the gnomes were thankful to the Wolf Spirit.” She went silent again, and this time she was the one turning away with a lump in her throat. “That’s why… that’s why I have the mask,” She explained softly. “I wanted to be strong and brave and protect my family—my pack—like the Wolf Spirit.”

Sausage didn’t respond immediately. Shrub liked that. It made it seem like he was really considering what she’d said, like he really cared, like he wanted to offer an answer that was honest.

“We both wanted to protect people, huh?” Sausage remarked with a twinge of bitterness in his voice. “And we both failed miserably. Not that it’s anyone’s fault, or that it could have been fixed, or that we could have fixed it. Just… things didn’t go to plan.”

“Do they ever?” Shrub responded, not expecting an answer. She didn’t get one.

They sat there, on the roof of Shrub’s house, while the night continued on, their only company each other and the stars in the sky.

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy jack and tubbo

requested: yes/no

an: part 4 of the great adventures series

pairing: platonic y/n/tommy/jack/tubbo

warning: cursing

It was the afternoon before your new adventure with your friends. you had no idea what to expect, however everyone else knew even ranboo, and he wasn’t even joining you all. you would be lying if you said you weren’t nervous, especially after hearing some of tommys plans for future uploads. tubbo had been trying to drop hints about what was going to happen. You honestly couldn’t tell if he was excited or nervous, either way you could tell it was going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity and boy were you excited. the sound of knocking pulled you from your thoughts.

“hi y/n! sorry for the unexpected visit, i tried to call you but it wouldn’t go through.”

“oh god sorry, tubbo, my phones on charge upstairs, ive just finished babysitting my friends twitch chat.”

“that’s okay, tommy wanted me to see if you want to stay the night as i can take you with me now. he said something about it saving time tomorrow as jack won’t have to go as far and we can get there earlier, i honestly just think he’s slightly nervous and wants to spend time with someone.”

“i’ve not prepared a bag or anything as i was just planning on grabbing everything i needed in the morning, but i’m down to go with you. i’ll pack a bag real quick, make yourself feel at home. you can stay down here or come upstairs with me.”

tubbo followed you upstairs, and helped you pick which outfits would be the best to wear for the trip. around 10 minutes later you finished packing your bag and turned around to see a very pale tubbo, dropping your bag to the floor you pulled a chair up to your bed sitting opposite him.

“you feeling okay tubs?”

“just nerves, I'll be alright, are you ready to go?”

“ready if you are!”

the journey to tommys was relatively quick, you spent it talking about group plans for when ranboo comes to the uk.

tubbo: almost here!

tommy: yes! want to stream for a bit later, just something small could do laugh and the stream ends. i’ll go talk to my mum now!

•••

tubbo: please open the door

tommy: on it

the pair of you stood at the door waiting for tommy to unlock it

“TUBBO! Y/N I'M GLAD YOU COULD BOTH MAKE IT!”

not too long later, you and tubbo had put everything away and sat with tommy planning out a small stream.

“so i was talking with my parents and we can do an outside stream, and set fire to marshmallows!”

“as much as i love fire tommy i don’t think your parents will appreciate arson in the garden.”

“it’ll be fine now grab a jacket, we need to go walk to the shop.”

the three of you set off determined to get to the shop and back before it got dark, tommy and tubbo walked on either side of you as they want you to feel safe. thankfully the shop was only around the corner so you were all only out for about 20 minutes maximum, you probably could have made it back earlier but you stopped every time you saw a pretty rock.

“y/n come on we still need to stream!”

“did you tweet that you were streaming?”

“no he didn’t.”

“then come and look at this pretty rock!”

tommy and tubbo couldn’t help but laugh at how many rocks you managed to pick up.

•••

“guys i think i’d rather just spend time with you all rather than stream.”

“that’s fine, tommy!!”

the three of you sat around the fire updating one another about plans and opportunitie, coming. the conversation swiftly came to an end when tommy had set fire to a stick claiming it was to make the fire grow. you laughed as you heard his mum yelling at him to stop trying to set you and tubbo on fire.

“sorry about that everyone, but look the fire is big again.”

it got colder as the sun went down, so the three of you sat with a blanket draped over you all. his mum offered to take photos for you and you happily accepted, the pictures looked amazing and you posted it to instagram with the caption ‘i am cold and no one is telling me what’s happening tomorrow.’

it was around 11pm when the three of you agreed it was time to go back inside and sleep.

•••

you and tubbo stayed downstairs and tommy stayed in his room. the sound of tubbos alarm woke the pair of you up.

“turn that fucking thing off!”

“this is the fourth time it’s gone off and you’re still not up?”

“that’s because i’m tired.”

“please get ready jack will be here soon enough.”

realisation finally hit today was the day you were finally about to find out what this once in a lifetime opportunity was. tubbo advised you to wear sensible clothing and not wear the zodiac necklace you always wore, so you decided to wear the hoodie ranboo sent you a week ago and leggings.

“y/n you might wanna tie your hair up.”

“tubbo are you sure you’re feeling okay? you genuinely look ill."

“i’m fine.”

jack: right i’m outside so whenever you’re ready

lani: we’re making our own way later on as the hotel we stayed at is closer

y/n: will someone tell me what we’re doing

ranboo: no

y/n: you’re not even joining us how did you get in the gc

ranboo: magic

y/n: fuck off give me a clue

ranboo: i’ve said it since you dyed your hair neon f/c you’d be able to see from way up in the sky

y/n: what the actual hell is that supposed to mean

•••

soon enough you met up with everyone else and lani started recording.

“we’re skydiving, you ready tubbo?”

“WERE DOING WHAT? HOLY SHIT!”

you honestly couldn’t wait to do this. it was something you had wanted to do for a while, tubbo on the other hand clearly didn’t agree, which was evident through his whining.

you stood with tommy laughing as tubbo sat alone questioning why he agreed to this.

“look at him.”

“he’s is not happy.”

you sat next to jack and tubbo watching the video demonstrating what you will all be doing soon. you let out a nervous laugh, as although you were excited, you couldn’t help but be a bit nervous.

“you could fall into the engine and get chopped up.”

“tommy stop scaring tubbo!”

“what if the parachute doesn’t work?”

“free fall to your death.”

“y/n you’re not helping!”

you stood recording tubbo laying on the floor once again whining.

“tubbo there are so many people behind you!”

“i’m sure the parachute won’t fail tubbo, but if it does it was lovely knowing you!”

“uuuuuuugh!”

“i fully agree bo.”

soon enough you tommy and jack joined tubbo on the floor.

“look at the clouds.”

“we’re going to be in them soon.”

“hell yeah!”

“ughhhh!”

you tried not to laugh trying to calm tubbo down a bit before you all jumped out a plane, which worked until you left him alone with tommy whilst you spoke to jack for a while.

“to be fair that looks quite fun.”

“and dangerous!”

“STOP!”

“well sounds like tubbos thrilled to be here.”

the four of you sat on a bench talking about what’s going to happen, and laughing at tubbos nerves trying to make light of the situation.

“look it’ll be fun, tubbo, provided we don’t die there’s a chance we’ll be in more vlogs.. okay so ignore the black cloud of smoke!”

“that’s not a good omen.”

“shut up!”

you wrapped an arm around tubbo trying to make him feel comfortable and reassure him it’ll be fine, only to be interrupted by jack and tommy bickering about eating before jumping from the plane.

•••

the four of you went to the briefing, at this point you were struggling to contain your excitement, and couldn’t help but laugh out of pure joy.

“no, they are listening, they're just excited.”

after doing training for the jump, you stood with tommy whilst someone questioned him about how he got 9 million subs.

“I just went around being incredibly cool.. doing minecraft.”

you and jack burst out laughing whilst tommy went on to make jokes about how much money he was earning.

•••

it was now almost time to jump out a plane. it was around now nerves were kicking in, so you all went around messing about till you were told it’s time to make your way to get ready.

“let’s go gamers!”

•••

“are you a skydiver enjoyer?”

“i am.”

“well that’s always good... please, don’t let me die!”

“y/n are you scared?”

“no, my ranboo merch will protect me, but if i die can we blame tommy for coming up with this?”

“ranboos not going to believe that you’re wearing the jumper he sent you to jump out a plane.”

a few minutes later you over heard a worker say they’re nervous causing you to tilt your head and blink again, trying to process what was said.

“heh???”

it was now time for the four of you to put the equipment on, so you were ready to jump. jack started talking a lot more than usual at a quicker pace due to the fact he was getting nervous. tommy pointed it out and jack trying to argue he wasn’t made you laugh.

“y/n keeps making a lot of jokes about my parachute being shit.”

“sorry manifold should be fine...more than likely...hopefully. only time will tell really.”

“how you doing buddy?”

“i’m feeling okay. i feel my insides doing inside bits.”

“wonderful!”

you were now all waiting to go as a worker jokes about forgetting something.

“y/n you’re going with him!”

“okay, but why?”

“well you said your ranboo merch will protect you..”

someone went by going rather fast causing you to stare in awe.

“we don’t go that fast, do we?”

“no not unless something goes terribly wrong.”

you all stood there laughing.

“stoppppp!”

“y/n, i’m now thinking you should go with them instead!”

“are you trying to kill me off jack?”

•••

you all set off towards the plane, a mixture of excitement and nerves began kicking in.

“tubbos on a lead.”

“oh i’m really nervous jack.”

“look at y/n!”

lani began to record you, who was now way ahead of the others, so you stopped and waved at lani.

“BYE LANI! HOPEFULLY ILL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!”

the others caught up and everyone had their equipment checked again.

“oh dear.. should be fine.”

“i’m alright, don’t worry my ranboo merch will protect us!” you got on first and that when you realised they set you up, so you jumped last as you were more confident and tubbo was jumping first so he could get it out the way.

you all sat on the plane and waved at the camera.

“hi there!”

“hello!”

“hi!”

“please don’t let us die!”

“we’re really jumping out a plane with a dream stan.”

“this is the highest we’ve ever been.”

“gamers in a plane whatever will they do...hopefully not die!”

“Y/N!”

“sorry tubbo!”

you were currently at 2,000 feet and sat looking out the window waiting to reach 14,000 feet. jack turned to you and tommy, “i can’t believe you’re jumping out the plane in philza merch and y/ns jumping out in ranboo merch.”

“if i die at least ill look great doing it.”

12,000 feet later it was now tubbos turn to jump, he looked back at you all.

“YOU GOT THIS TUBBO!!”

you watched as tubbo went.

“GOOD LUCK TOMMY!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN GOOD LUCK? Y/N?”

“BYEEEEE!”

you laughed as tommy went.

“see you later jack!”

you gave jack a high-five and watched as he went.

“holy shit they actually did it!”

“are you ready, y/n?”

“hell yeah, let’s do this!”

you laughed as you jumped, you couldn’t believe you actually got to jump out of a plane, you waved at camera.

lani met the others as they landed and began telling them about it.

“wait where’s y/n?”

“there they are!”

“Y/N!”

the others ran up to you as you landed.

“i’m glad you didn’t die!”

“thanks jack!”

•••

“would you all do it again?”

“yeah.”

“no.”

“maybe, i’m not sure.”

“i reckon so.”

not too long later, you were all given certificates to celebrate the fact you had jumped out a plane.

“yay it made nearly dying worth it!”

“you’re so dramatic!”

•••

you thought the day was over and that you were going home, little did you know that wasn’t the case.

“were not done for the day.”

“what?”

“heh?”

“you’re tilting your head again.”

“i know it’s because i’m confused!”

“anyway, what do you mean we’re not done?”

“you know george, he’s arrived!”

“gogy!”

“GOGY!”

“can i have a nap in the car please? i’m so exhausted."

taglist:

@l0ver0fj0y

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Illuminated, pt.2

Summary: Seeing an old friend isn’t always a happy occasion, but it can direct you to someone who undoubtedly makes your heart beat faster.

Warnings: talk of war and death, book spoilers

Part 1   

=================================

It felt strange to be walking the same halls she once revered. Y/N had barely grown at all since her time at Little Palace, if anything she'd claim she got shorter, but the walls didn't seem as intimidating as they used to.

Back then, she was just a clueless girl with dreams that turned into nightmares. The war had left deep wounds everywhere in Ravka and for that, Y/N would curse Alina Starkov's name until her dying breath.

Ravka trusted Alina to rescue them from the darkness, but she only expanded it. She fled from her responsibility and responded with force when General Kirigan asked for accountability.

Y/N was considered too young to be allowed in battle, sent away by the Darkling with children who have not yet mastered their particular branch of small science. Grisha a year older than her were given the chance to protect Ravka, something she wished she could have done. 

If it were up to her, she'd have stood by him instead of hiding.

Y/N had always been quite capable of controlling her power. Whether it be fire, wind or water, she held a firm grasp over all three elements with an iron fist and a terrifyingly sharp mind. She had developed attacks no one else is capable of, the kind that made other Grisha wary of her ferocity.

Naturally, she assumed that was why General Kirigan had called on her. The last thing she expected was to have the General, her King, admire the abominable blue flames she wields.

"Y/N?" A breathless reminder of a voice she once knew had stopped her in her tracks.

Looking over her shoulder, Y/N's lips break into a wide smile at the sight of her old friend and confidant.

She didn't waste time, running toward the girl who had fiery hair Y/N always wanted to have too. Colliding with Genya, Y/N couldn't stop a laugh that escaped her as she wrapped her arms around her much taller friend.

“I. Can’t. Breathe!” Genya manages to say between shallow, strained breaths. 

Chuckling, Y/N releases her from the death grip she calls a hug. She’s never been subtle in showing affection, or hate.

“I can’t believe it’s you!” Y/N exclaims, her attempt to quiet down failing before she even tries.

With a surprised smile set on her lips, Genya nods. “I didn’t realize you’d be at Little Palace.”

Faltering, Y/N licks her lips as her smile is erased. “You don’t seem too happy about that.”

“Little Palace isn’t exactly the safest place in Ravka anymore”, Genya musses.

Scoffing, Y/N furrows her eyebrows. “Alina made it unsafe.” Lifting her chin, Y/N continues, “The Darkling will protect us.”

Pursing her lips, Genya looks around carefully to ensure they’re alone. “That’s the problem. While he’s here, no one is safe.” Taking Y/N by the elbow, she pulls her aside toward the open window to help disguise their voices from any curious listeners. “Alina was our only hope of killing him.”

Ripping her arm away from Genya’s hold, Y/N narrows her eyes at the friend she once trusted more than anyone else in this world. When there was no hope, Genya put a smile on her face. Even when Y/N was losing herself, she had Genya to remind her of who she is.

She never doubted her friend, never questioned her loyalty or sanity. Until now. 

“Genya, who did you fight alongside with?” Y/N asks sharply, her lips forming a thin line.

“You don’t know the entire story”, Genya tries but Y/N steps away as if she’d been burned.

The war had made warriors from children for no matter how they tried to protect their innocence, war leaves no one untouched. When Alina Starkov decided to turn her back on Grisha, Y/N and many others have been forced to grow up far too quickly. No silly crushes or petty arguments mattered for the blood had reached them once Alina slaughtered Botkin in front of them. It was the only taste of war Y/N had for she had killed for the first time on that day. 

Alina is the reason she has blood on her hands.

“The story I do know is enough for me”, Y/N huffs as she shakes her head at Genya. “The fact our General did not kill you is proof of his generosity. Perhaps you should learn to appreciate him. Your precious Alina never showed such mercy.”

Turning her back on Genya, Y/N headed back. She didn’t want to explore the old corridors anymore, but to bathe and sleep. From tomorrow on, she’ll be working with Kirigan on her new ability and she didn’t want to display any reasons for him to distrust her.

She pauses as Genya speaks up.

“I wonder what will get you killed faster – your loyalty or stubbornness?”

Turning her head to the left, Y/N could see her old friend in her peripheral vision. “At least I’ll die for something I believe in. I’ll die for Ravka. Can you say the same?”

Fuming, Y/N tossed and turned in her bed. She turned the pillow to the colder side, she even tried turning her head on the opposite side of the headboard, but nothing could calm her mind or the itching to use her powers to blow off some steam.

The one part of herself she truly did connect with the Inferni was the temper she often got in trouble for. When Nina Zenik called her stupid, she burned off her eyebrows and Botkin forced her to wake up at the crack of dawn and do sprints for the next month as punishment. It’s probably the only time in her life she was truly in good form.

Grunting, she raised her legs and slammed them back on the mattress in frustration. Tossing the blanket off, she grabbed her blue kefta and left the room. 

Her footsteps echo the halls as she all but runs out, straight into the foggy morning air outside. The cold pinches her skin, her lips trembling for a moment before she sinks her front teeth into her bottom lip. Her breaths come in visible puffs of air as she wraps her arms around her middle while securing her hands under her armpits to stop herself from using her power that’s calling to her like the siren song calls sailors to their certain death.

Y/N always had the misfortune of wearing her heart on her sleeve with those she cares for. She also has a nasty tendency to either feel nothing or everything at once and when someone she loves turns out to be different than what she believed, it causes an uncontrollable explosion of emotion deep within.

“Is there a particular reason you’re outside at this ungodly hour?” A deep voice makes her gasp as she turns to look at the very person she most admires.

Raising her eyebrows, she nearly laughed as she realized the Darkling wore not his kefta, but the clothes he sleeps in. It’s loose clothing, black as his kefta and horse and yet it gives off a softness she did not realize a man as powerful as him could ever possess.

“I’d ask you the same, General”, she retorts with her eyebrows still raised as if she’s challenging him to come closer and make her stop ogling him.

For a moment, she thought he might turn away and leave as he stood there calmly. It feels as if he’s studying her, taking in every inch of her and committing it to memory. If it were any other man, Y/N would have spoken up or acted out to prevent the uncomfortable feeling of being watched so intimately, yet she didn’t want Kirigan to ever stop looking at her. If not for her fear of being too forward, she’d invite him closer.

As if he read her mind, Kirigan takes a step closer….and then another one. She can’t help but wonder what’s going through his mind. 

What does he see when he looks at her? 

How does she look in his eyes, because the way he’s looking at her now is taking her breath away?

He looks at her as if there is something worth looking at.

“Sometimes my mind turns on me”, he admits in a low, quiet tone that Y/N has to strain to hear him properly. “I’ve lived a long life and a longer one awaits me. My mind is full of ghosts that want retribution for what I did to them.”

Swallowing thickly, she straightens her back as she comes closer – close enough to feel his breath as it fans the hair at the top of her head.

“What did you do to them?”

The left corner of his lips twitches. “You’d think ill of me if I told you.”

Averting her gaze to his bare chest revealed by the wind as it pulled the fabric of his shirt, Y/N licks her lips. She argues with herself on her next move, wondering if it would be improper to touch the man who had been considered untouchable by everyone she ever met. Her fingers years to feel his skin under their tips, to slowly trail the jawline she wants to press her lips against.

Frowning softly, she bites her lower lip as she locks her eyes on his dark ones. Unlike many before her, she does not crumble under the weight of his heavy gaze. Her heart trembles as she reaches out and places her palm on his chest.

He didn’t expect her to touch him, tensing up. It’s surprising how warm her hand is, more so how inviting the warmth is. He’s hyper-aware of every breath he takes as his chest expands under her touch, hoping this incredibly brazen Grisha does not feel the way his heart jumps with the sudden surge of her bravery.

When he notices her lips move, he holds his breath as if the simple act of breathing could muffle her voice and make it harder for him to soak up the blind loyalty and love she holds for him.

“Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two different things. You’re not evil for choosing to protect yourself and your country. I could never think badly of you, General.”

It’s been a long time since he found someone so incredibly devoted to him and his cause, exhilarating him to the core. Alina had never truly believed in him for she always considered him wicked, but Y/N couldn’t be more different. Perhaps he’s right and this time it will work. 

With someone trusting as Y/N is, he can’t possibly fail again.

Letting her hand fall, Y/N looks away as she realizes she crossed the line and his silence is the easiest way for him to inform her of it. Truth be told, she wondered who was the last woman who got to lay her hand on his chest.

Was it Alina?

There were rumors of the relationship Kirigan and Alina supposedly had and Y/N always felt a pang of jealousy upon hearing the girls talk. She never knew him, she never truly had him and she never will, but the idea someone else does brought her pain.

Perhaps her overthinking or the increasingly awkward silence prompted her temper to speak instead of her brain.

"Did you love her?" Y/N blurts out. 

Her eyes widen as she realizes her thoughts have become vocal and in the presence of the very man she should be watching her mouth around.

"I apologize. It must be a difficult time to reminisce about." Maybe Nina was right – she is stupid!

"It is quite alright.” Darkling lets out an audibly heavy breath. “I did not love her, I trusted her. I trusted her enough to put all my hope for a better Ravka on her shoulders and she betrayed our country."

"No", she reaches out slowly, her hand finding its way to his as it gingerly grasps his fingers. "She betrayed you."

Smiling reluctantly, Kirigan finds himself wondering if he should embrace the fact Y/N seems to be a very touchy person or if he should set some boundaries. Despite the shiver that runs down his spine, he allows her hand to fully take his as he closes his fingers around hers.

"I should have seen it coming. I'm far too used to betrayal."

"I'd never do that", she pauses. "I'd never betray you. I'd never break your trust."

Her responses are quick, so innocent and naïve that he can’t help but feel guilty about every moment he spends near her. No one should send a doe eyed beauty into the clutches of a beast so easily, yet he has no desire to force her to leave.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

Smiling, her entire face lights up. It’s a true delight to witness so early in the morning after a long night of nightmares he faced.

“Do not worry, General. I have every intention on proving myself to you.”

Glancing at their hands, her smile widens. She spent years wishing for this and now that it’s happening she can’t seem to believe it’s real.

“The sun will come up soon”, he changes the topic.

Y/N fears he might leave and her hand would be back at her side as she watches his retreating figure, but when he speaks again her heart dances in her chest.

“Would you like to watch the sunrise with me?”

Inhaling sharply, she nods. “Very much so.”

Unfortunately for them, someone else couldn’t sleep that night and they had seen just enough for a terrible plan to be born.

=================================

A/N - So, I’m definitely going to play with the books here and twist some things to fit the storyline I have in mind. There might be some spoilers, so read with caution. I debated on making more than a one shot for this and taking on some ideas I have for Darkling but also Nikolai, so I’m not sure how long this will be just yet. 

Tags: @deceivedeer​ @evyiione​ @measshaw​

Part 3

[arcadejohn127-9]

Hello!1st I wanted to say i love your blog its *chefs kiss*,and 2nd could I request (i dont know if this is in someway triggering or not so i apologize) a MC who doesnt believe the brothers can love them 'cause they despise themself and they are so set on (?) with that mindset that the brothers cant convince them otherwise,but MC themself wants to feel loved they...just cant...and they just breakdown saying they arent special and when the brothers meet other humans they will realise that MC is nothing,that they are a horrible being and they will leave them for somebody better,does that make sense I dont wanna go too deep into it(totaaaaally not self projecting)I am so sorry if this is a sensitive topic,feel free to ignore this ask,this has been eating me out for weeks so I just wanted to seek some comfort.Once again your blog is great and dont overwork yourself, take care! :D 🤍

I've definitely been there and even now, I still have these fears. Growing out of these Insecurities and feelings are hard even if you work hard to be as confident as you can. One day it'll happen but until then you just gotta keep reminding yourself that you're worth the world

Also tip, please don't rely on others for self worth - people can be cruel or simply just unpredictable. Not all but until you see every colour of a person you don't know. If you depend on someone else to give you worth and make you feel good then that'll start a very unhealthy cycle for yourself

I hate this phase "love yourself before you love others" because you don't need to, you can find healthy and happy relationships whilst insecure. But I think what it really means is; get self worth before you love another. Make sure you don't do yourself damage by giving you Someone who does the bare minimum or will sometimes make you feel good but is usually a dick.

You can find love but that love can be wrong if you don't pay attention to the red flags. Don't let your insecurities drag you into unhealthy relationships.

Because you are stunning, worth it and loveable. You're Someone people can look up to or admire even if it's for something simple like your humour.

Also thank you, I'll be sure to not overwork myself, make sure you don't pressure yourself too hard about work or your hobbies. Hobbies are all about fun!

Warning: self loathing, depressive themes, angst

You could stand it.

Your eyes traveled along the gifts and trinkets that were in your room. Each one gifted to you by a powerful demon; a demon you live with.

You couldn't stand it.

You could get it; why would someone like that every like you? You weren't special and yet Everyone insisted that you were. You're not the key. Not anything Diavolo wants or expects. Definitely not what the brothers want.

You had to scoff. The brothers only like you because of Lilith, if you were related then they'd never see you as anything but some human. Lilith dragged you here, she made sure you came here and for what? To be always told you're going to be some big thing; someone to destroy hatred and help bring together three realms.

Do they not realize how much pressure that is??!!!! And the how are you even going to do that?! You're magic is unpredictable and useless - it perfectly reflects you.

You whimpered at your own thoughts. The word useless stinging at your heart; it was almost if a knife lodged itself into your chest. Constantly stabbing the word useless into it.

You were useless. They need to find someone who can actually live up to their expectations. Just a good for nothing human....why do they even like you?

You looked back at the gifts, your watery stare turning into a hateful glare.

The question was burning inside your head. You couldn't understand; what did he see in you? You're not special! You're not anything anyone wants you to be and you're just being forced on a pedestal you didn't make!

Why did he always look at you the way he does? Like you actually mean something. Why does he smile so softly when you enter the room?

Why would he be like that when you KNOW that as soon as he meets another human, he'll be running after them without hesitation. Everyone was so much more attractive than you and better than you - you couldn't get why he loved you. Why- no how?! You weren't good enough for him!

No matter how many times he says I love you or compliments you it leaves such a bitter disgusting taste in your mouth. You're so horrible you can't even let people be nice to you - it's all a lie anyway. No one could love you. Never. No one!

You were useless! Disgusting! You weren't even attractive! You weren't loveable! You're a horrible person who looks just as horrible as they are. How can they look at you like that?! How can they stand you?! You're nothing!

You don't get it!

Why?! Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why-!

A scream ripped itself out of your throat. Tears streaming down your face as you clutched your head. Your body curled into itself, shaking and trembling as you choked on your sobs. You coughed through it as you tried to breath but the tears kept coming. Drowning you as you desperately tried to breath under their weight.

The pain was unbelievable. You felt like your head was on fire. You could barely even make out the figure standing at your door. Whoever they were, they scooped you up from the floor and rubbed circles into your arms. You clutched to them for dear life as you cried.

Somewhere in your brain you could tell who it was and it only made you cry harder. Shame filling your lungs as you tried to escape their caring embrace.

"No-! Stop it! I'm nothing! I'm useless-! Let me go-!! Why- why won't you leave me alone?! I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! LET ME DIE-!"

were you dying? You felt like it. The ache was painful; your chest growing tighter and tighter. You pounded on their chest, demanding they let you be the useless thing that you are alone.

Lucifer:

He forced back his tears

Just rubbing circles into your skin as he held you

To think you were this Insecure despite being the nicest person who knew

You were Better than him and don't let pride stop you - you were amazing

"not good enough for me? What made you believe that...? You're perfect for me, you complete me."

You denied his claims, sobbing as you listed your insecurities

"Your insecurities don't define you, you're so much more than that - I wouldn't of picked you to be my love if I didn't think you'd be adequate."

He wasn't sure if you were still listening but he pushed past his doubts

Adjusting you in his embrace

"I- I'm not sure if I'm comforting you....I'm not good at being the gentle hand, I want you to see how I see you - you're kind, charming and always keeping me in awe, you mean so much to me, I'll trade anything I could just to see you smile - I love you."

Mammon:

There can only be one self loathing idioit in this relationship

He refuses to let you feel like how he has

His forced confidence - you could easily see through it - anyone could

But you were the only one who then actually helped him feel better when you did see through it

He let a few tears stray, holding you close

"did someone say something to you? I don't forgive 'em for ever making ya this upset, I'm not letting you feel like this."

You shook your head, muttering that he should let you

"why should I? You're my favourite person and you've only made me happy - so let me make you happy! You're the only person who's ever treated me the way ya treat me and I won't let you hate yourself!"

He hugged you even tighter, squeezing you as he hid his face in your shoulder

"you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, okay? You always know how to make me feel better and it's my turn to make you feel better but you gotta listen to me! I lo-love you! The great Mammon loves you so badly that he just wants to kiss you every day! You're amazing and I won't forgive ya if you let yourself keep going on like this, let me support you.... please...I don't want you to go."

Levithan:

He couldn't get it

He's always been jealous of your personality and ability to make others feel good

His envy makes him despise himself - so seeing you be the same, he couldn't take it

He gave you one big squeeze

"d-don't be stupid! You're the best thing that's come into my life - even better than ruri-chan!"

You didn't believe him, he was obessed with that character

"but it's true-! If I could I'd get loads of merchandise of you too because you're my favourite person! You're just like the protagonists I read about."

His face was beat red but he was determined to make you feel better

"You're Henry, you are brave and kind, always trying your best even if that best isn't up to your own or others standards, you Inspire me! I've thought about of making a series about you...so others can feel just as happy as I do when I see you, you make me feel less insecure and like I actually mean something - why can I do to make you feel the same? You mean everything to me! I really like you....I like-like you-! I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY! Let me make you feel how you make me feel because then you'll see just how amazing you are!"

Satan:

Did someone makes you feel like this or was it just your own thoughts?

If it isn't the latter he'll need to find out who's hurt you

But right now, he hugged you tighter and cradled your head

He couldn't stand to see and hear you so destressed

"did I do something to make you feel like this? I'm so sorry if I did, I don't always realize when I come off rude or hateful- I could never hate you."

You held him tight, telling him to stop

"but I need to fix it if I've hurt you and if it wasn't me then whoever did needs to keep quiet, you don't deserve these feelings."

You huffed, trying to not cry more

He gave your Shoulder a small squeeze

"you're more than enough for me, you're so good to me - sometimes I wonder if I'm good enough for you, you're always so patient with me and don't make me feel like I'm some unthinking beast, you don't think I'm lying when I be genuine and that makes me love you - I do love you - you make me feel good and I want to do the same for you, you're beyond good and I'll always be happy with the person you are and can become because I know you can do so much and always bring positivity even in the darkest times."

Asmodeus:

He's crying too

He hated of being seen as insecure

He only wanted confidence

Seeing you sob and beat on yourself like this only reminded him of his most private moments

He held you even closer, rocking you gently

"No, dear, I love you too much to let you feel like this, you're amazing to me and I think you're better than even myself, you're my number 1."

You shook your head, telling him he's lying

"I'm not, why would I lie? You're the sweetest person I know, you don't see me as some sex object - you make me feel real and happy - so so happy."

He kissed the top of your head, hiding his tear streaked face

"I want you to be happy....you deserve it, you've got only so long to live and I'm so scared that you're going to hate yourself even until you die, I don't want that! You're beautiful amazing and I could never ask for anyone better! Please- just let's work on our confidence together...okay? You're so wonderful, don't let yourself become so hateful."

Beezlebub:

He's absolutely broken

How didn't he realize you felt this bad about yourself??

He didn't even realize he was crying aswell, just holding you close as his mind screamed at him

"did something make you feel like this? It hurts to hear you say these things."

You shook your head before nodding, muttering you just won't talk anymore

"I didn't mean that, I always want you to be open with me and if not me, atleast one of my brother's."

He picked you up, placing you in a more comfortable position and held you close to his chest

"I love you, it took me awhile to realize that but I do, you make me feel full and happy - like I just ate a big buffet of warm cakes and dishes, I'm always warm when I'm with you, I don't believe you're not good enough - you're kind to me and never judge me for eating, you help me with working out but most importantly, you fixed my family and brought my twin back, I don't know how to make you see how much that means to me and I don't want you to feel bad about yourself when you're always the best person in the room - you're really great."

Belphegor:

"just let me die"

Those words hurt him so bad

He was like that, he demanded to be left to Rot with his own self loathing when Lilith died

He pulled you close to his chest as he grabbed your shoulder

"You're not allowed to feel like this, you've done nothing to feel this much hatred towards yourself."

You told him he was wrong, crying harder

"when am I wrong? I- okay, I can be wrong but I'm not wrong about you, you're my favourite person which means I love you and I don't let my favourite people sit and cry."

He cuddled you, nuzzling his cheek against yours

"You saved me and I will never able to make it up to you, I've hurt you and I hate it- I hate that I'm a reason you get scared, don't ever let yourself rot away, when my brother's just leave me to sleep I always feel so much dread - that I'm being left to die in my bed and will never get to see their faces again - I'll never be able to see your face again....I wouldn't be able to take it.....seeing you everyday makes me want to leave my bed and always make sure you smile, let me make you smile again."

[ldss-interactive]

At Alter’s End: A CYOA Novel

Overview:

Trentworth, Maine. A town of ten thousand southeast of Ellsworth and North of Bayside. Its only bragging point since its conception in 1867 was being a shoreline city and cheaper than any of the other big tourist towns. Nothing ever happened here, besides the occasional drowning or fishing trip accident, until the killings started. They lasted five years in total and 48 people were lost to the killer’s sick desires. Robert Hall terrorized this small town, slipping under the radar by focusing on those considered “undesirable”; sex workers, orphans, drug addicts, and the like. Now ten years later, ten years after the killer has been put behind bars, murders have begun again. A copycat killer has come to Trentworth. And they seem to be targeting the ones left behind, still trying to pick up the shattered pieces of their lives…

You take the role of a highschool senior; your parents having died in a home fire shortly before the killer was put behind bars and now under the care of your workaholic aunt. Make allies of your classmates or attempt to go it alone, clear your parents’ name from their believed involvement with the killer or fight to put the past behind you, deal with the skeletons in your closet and mind or bury them deeper... Oh, and make sure your history project is turned in on time. With two young siblings depending on you and a whole host of problems a highschool student should never have to deal with, can you survive this nightmare made real?

Trigger Warnings: This game will go into very heavy topics including the following; murder, death, various mental health issues (such as PTSD, depression, and anxiety), abandonment, gambling, various types of drug addiction, self harm mentions (not happening to the MC or shown in graphic detail), suicide, sex work, child abuse (mental, emotional, and physical), and dangerous situations. This is a murder mystery/thriller, it is NOT intended for audiences below 18.

Hello! Thank you for showing interest in At Alter’s End. This is a Choose Your Own Adventure style novel in the Thriller and Murder Mystery genres. It would also fit nicely in the Drama genre as well, but Drama is not the focus. This will be a rather lengthy project, with fifteen chapters plus a prologue and epilogue planned.

You take on the role of a senior at Trentworth High. Join an after-school activity, take care of your younger siblings, prepare for finals, get a part time job, find a date to homecoming, and survive your worst nightmare come to life. The copycat killer is targeting the students of your school and no one is safe. With the police dragging their feet, no help coming any time soon from any higher up law enforcement, and the locals refusing to acknowledge the possibility of a copycat killer, it’s up to you and your classmates to find the person responsible...before it’s too late.

- You can play as female, male, nonbinary, or trans!

- You can be straight, gay, or bisexual!

- A highly customizable MC including hair color, eye color, skin color, hair length, height, and personality and interests!

- The ability to choose which mental illness the MC suffers from due to the trauma of their past from the following:

Anxiety, Depression, or PTSD.

- The MC is deaf in their right ear ear due to the way in which their parents died; this is not something that can be changed.

- Choose from 7 different official after-school activities! Trentworth Volunteers, Up and Coming Artists, National Debate Society, National Honors Society, Co-Ed Varsity Basketball, Creative Writing, and Trentworth Gardeners!

- Bond with your classmates, explore your town, and help raise your younger siblings!

- Rescue your parents’ bakery from corporate clutches or let it go!

- Find the killer, stop the murders, and put a stop to the rumors that have plagued your every step for 10 years!

Vanya: Oldest adoptive twin sibling to MC’s adoptive siblings, 6 years younger than MC. Strong-headed, intelligent, and always getting into trouble. She looks after her brother and MC in the ways she can.

Ajay: Youngest adoptive twin sibling to MC’s adoptive sibling, 6 years younger than MC. Nearly completely blind since birth, he enjoys painting and other artistic endeavors. Obedient yet opinionated.

Aunt Emma: The workaholic aunt that takes custody of MC and their younger siblings after the death of their parents. Well meaning but absent most of the time on business trips or at the office.

Kwan Hall: An adoptive relative to Robert Hall; aloof, intelligent, and completely ostracized by Trentworth as a whole. When the killings start again the town’s attention is immediately turned on Kwan. He’s the first to begin investigating the killings when the police prove their incompetence. He is of Korean descent, standing at 5’6” with dark hair and dark eyes. His most notable feature is the long scar that stretches from his forehead’s hairline, down his left temple, and ends just below his jawline and the constant disinterest on his face. He is asexual in that he doesn’t experience sexual attraction at all. He is also bisexual.

Alessia D’Agostina: Trentworth High’s school president. She’s clawed her way tooth and nail up to earn the respect of both the school faculty and her fellow classmates; she’s strong-willed, dependable, and always looks at things through a logical lens. When she sees her classmates dying, she takes it upon herself to try and stop this once and for all. With dark skin, deep brown eyes, long braided hair, and standing at 5’8” her confidence and sense of self always make sure she stands out from the crowd. Alessia is bisexual.

Georgiy Kuzmin: Twin brother to Anastasiya Kuzmin; he is, in the kindest way possible, not the brightest bulb in the box. Yet he always means well and is more than willing to offer a helping hand. As the co-captain of the basketball team, captain of the baseball team, and the star of the swim team, Georgiy is one of the most popular and well beloved students at Trentworth High. When he realizes his friends are in danger, he willingly throws himself into the investigation to do all he can to help. With fair skin, dirty blond hair, bubbly green eyes, and standing at 6’1” he cuts an approachable figure to anyone who knows him. Georgiy is gay.

Anastasiya Kuzmin: Twin sister to Georgiy Kuzmin: she and her brother are alike in so many ways apart from just appearance. Anastasiya, who goes by Ana more often than not, is head of the Co-Ed Varsity Basketball team, the Girls’ softball team, and the Tennis team. Just as popular and loved as her brother, Ana may not be the smartest but she makes up for it with passion and dedication. Like her brother, she has fairer skin, dirty blond hair, and bright green eyes. Also like her brother, she felt she couldn’t just sit around while her friends were put in danger and agreed to join the investigation. Ana is gay and demiromantic, meaning she only gains feelings for someone after having a strong relationship with them.

Lillian Triano: A quiet, withdrawn girl who mainly keeps to herself. Due to the fact that Trentworth High demands for every senior to be apart of an elective, she is mainly seen in afterschool reading club run by Ms. Habeeb. She’s MC’s closest friend, having been one of the only people who didn’t believe the rumors that MC’s parents were assisting Robert Hall in his murders. She has an olive complexion, brown eyes, a heavy dose of freckles, and stands at 5’1”. Lillian is gay.

Jasmine Abernathy: Jasmine is Trentworth High’s self proclaimed “Best news source!” After the school newspaper was disbanded, Jasmine took it upon herself to keep freedom of the press alive. She’s fierce in her pursuit of the truth and never one to back down from a fight, though her rash attitude can get her into some sticky situations on occasion. With vibrant red hair, dark brown eyes, and standing at 5’3” she puts the term “fire” in Fire Signs. (She’s an Aries in astrology!) When the copycat killings began, it was no surprise when she took the case head on. Jasmine is bisexual.

Asa San Nicholas: Asa is the oldest of a set of triplets; they’re the type to march to the beat of their own drum, often not listening to what anyone has to say about themselves or their interests. Asa is a firm believer in the paranormal and it isn’t uncommon to find them indulging in their interest in various ways. “The spirits are distrubed. These deaths aren’t meant to happen.” Asa’s reason for getting involved seems to tie directly back to their “connection” with the spirits of the town. Asa has black hair, most often tied in a ponytail, hazel eyes, and an olive skin tone. At 6’4” they tower over most everyone...something they seem to enjoy a great deal. Asa doesn’t see gender and is interested in people regardless of how they present.

Leo San Nicholas: The middle of the triplets. They are genderfluid, okay with any pronouns. Leo is, for lack of a better word, eccentric. A bit of an adrenaline junkie, you can often find them cliff diving or giving their siblings heart attacks by playing russian roulette with a chocolate gun. To them, it isn’t fun if there isn’t a little danger involved; naturally, an investigation into a serial killer scratches that itch quite nicely. Their black hair is clipped short, multiple piercings visible on each ear, and their heterochromatic hazel and green eyes are often stated to stare through a person. Although Leo is genderfluid, they are only interested in people who present as female.

The demo is upcoming! When it is available I will make a post announcing it! I will also update this post with the link! This game is written in choicescript; the demo will be published on Dashingdon and the final game will be published for free on itch.io. I am open for questions regarding this game/novel and once the demo is published I will also be publishing a link to my Ko-fi! Until then, please don’t hesitate to ask if you have any questions!

[hotmesshapa]

VIP • Bang Chan

pairing: bang chan x female reader

genre: smut • DJ!chan x stripper!reader

rating: 18+

word count: 4.6k

warnings: strong language, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, slight jealousy, very light orgasm denial and spanking, a bit of fluff

a/n: this is the first fic I’ve written in literal years and I have no idea what I’m doing, so I’m sorry in advance lol. also shoutout to these lovelies for being interested from the start 🖤 @mikoto-ica-fics @missskzbiased @bratforbin​ @jungkooksbroski​ 

There are three strict rules in the club: no touching the strippers, no romantic work relationships, and absolutely no sex in the club. Your manager had everyone sign off on his rules for a reason; you didn’t even want to imagine the chaos that could ensue if everyone was allowed to do whatever they desired in the club.

However, whenever Chan was DJing on the nights you worked, you always considered blowing off those rules. But you knew better. You both enjoyed your jobs at the club and wouldn’t risk getting fired over something as stupid breaking the few rules, despite the obvious sexual tension between the two of you. It’s not your fault that he always came into work wearing tight shirts that clung to his muscles in ways that made you drool. It’s not your fault that he flirted back whenever you playfully hit on him while handing off your playlist for the night. It’s not your fault you noticed the way his eyes hungrily stared you down whenever you were on the main stage, or the way his jaw clenched in jealousy whenever you took a guest to the VIP room.

But rules are meant to be broken, right?

Tonight starts out no different from any other work night: greeting the other girls and bartenders, taking a quick shot of tequila for an extra boost of confidence, and digging through your purse trying to find your flash drive of songs you want played for your routines.

“Got anything new for me, babygirl?”

You snap your head up at the sound of the handsome DJ’s voice. “Hello to you too, Chan,” you reply, rolling your eyes. He shamelessly checks you out and gives you a cocky grin that you can’t decide if it makes you want smack him or pounce on him “You know if Minho hears you speak to me like that, you’re in a world of shit.”

“Then it’s a good thing he’s not here tonight. But even if he was, he wouldn’t dare fire me. I’m the best DJ this club has.”

“Well then, fuck my drag,” Changbin pipes up from behind the booth, shooting a glare at Chan. “If you’re so great, set up your own table then.”

“Don’t listen to him, Binnie,” you giggle as you go back to searching for your flash drive, “He just likes to think he has all the power around here.”

Changbin scoffs as he continues to set up his mixers. “Only when you’re around. The other girls would kill to have him flirt with them.”

You feel your cheeks flush at the comment, but try your best to ignore the feeling as you turn back to Chan and hand him your music. “I have some new songs for tonight. Feel free to play whichever ones you want to watch me dance to.”

“Jesus,” Changbin rolls his eyes, “get a room, you two.”

You shoot Chan a quick wink, earning a smirk from him, and turn around to head to the dressing rooms, well aware his eyes are glued to you as you leave.

You close the door behind you and set your purse down on the vanity, checking your phone and cursing at the time. You hadn’t realized that your mini flirting session took up more time than expected, and start frantically getting ready, changing into your black satin two-piece that left very little to the imagination and applying a generous amount of body highlighter to every exposed part of you.

As you stare at yourself in the mirror, you can’t help but think about what Changbin had said. You and Chan flirt all the time, and normally it doesn’t affect you, but something about Changbin’s comment has your head spinning. Something about discovering Chan only flirts with you just makes you want to break the rules even more, but you don’t want to risk your jobs just because you desperately want him to dick him down. You wouldn’t do that to him. You sigh and slip into your stilettos, checking your appearance one last time before stepping out onto the main floor for your night to begin.

The night had been running smoothly as usual: three pole routines with the songs Chan chose from your collection (all by The Weeknd, of course), and a few rotations around the club flirting with guests, giving a couple of lapdances. You have a generous amount of bills tucked into your thong and bra, and you pull them out to count, trying to smooth them out and make them look somewhat presentable. You make your way to the DJ booth, where you find Chan leaning against the wall beside the booth, scrolling through his phone and sipping on a beer, while Changbin is behind the table, engrossed with the set he was playing.

“Here,” you say, handing Chan his tip. “You made some really good choices tonight. I had a feeling you’d choose The Weeknd.”

“What can I say,” he smirks, “You can’t just give me the option to play his hottest songs and not expect me to do anything about it. Especially when I get to watch you dance to them.” 

He suddenly leans in, closing any space there was between you two. “By the way, your routine to ‘Life of the Party’? So. Fucking. Hot,” he purrs, looking straight into the eyes.

“Chan,” your voice falters for a second, your eyes unintentionally dropping to his lips, before bringing them back up to meet his stare. You clear your throat in efforts to recover, desperately trying to ignore the heat rising in your core. “You’re gonna get us in trouble.”

“Come on, Y/N, would that be so bad?”

“God, I can’t leave you two alone for one set, can I?” Changbin slides himself between you and the other DJ, throwing an arm over your shoulder and playfully wiggling his eyebrows at you both.

You elbow him in the ribs, earning a dramatic cry from him in return, and you can’t help but giggle. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Three shots? Maybe four? I don’t remember.” He hums in appreciation as you hand him a wad of cash. “I can’t believe I’m gonna pay this month’s rent with your ass money,” he laughs, trying to shake off as much body glitter from the bills you handed him before sliding them into his wallet.

You roll your eyes. “I can give you tit money, if you pref-“

“There’s my baby!”

The three of you spin around at the familiar voice, coming face to face with a young man, his dark hair grazing his eyes as he shamelessly checks you out.

“Jisung! I was wondering when you’d show up!” Changbin greets the man with a typical bro handshake, before swinging an arm around his neck. “Here for the usual?”

“Of course,” Jisung smiles at you, “It’s not a Friday night without a visit with Y/N.”

Jisung was one of your regulars; he came in every Monday and Friday to book private lapdances with you, and only you. The first night he booked you, he almost immediately admitted how enamored he was with you, and ever since then, he refused to book with any of the other girls. And to be fair, you might have allowed him to break one of the rules, letting him grab your ass, hips and breasts as you danced, especially since that always earned a better tip from him. But now, while he still did request lapdances every now and then, he mainly booked you just to talk, and fortunately for you, he still tipped generously. He was an assistant to a big-time music producer, a job that came with a handful of stressors that he just needed to rant to someone about, and you were always willing to be there to listen.

While the relationship you and Jisung formed over the past year is strictly platonic, that hadn’t stopped Chan from developing a slight sense of jealousy. And to make matters more complicated, Jisung was well aware of that tension and loved to push the DJ’s buttons, much to your chagrin.

Jisung shifts his focus to Chan, giving him a cocky smirk that you know will be followed by a snarky comment. “I’ve been dying to see this pretty lil’ lady all day. You don’t mind if I steal her away, do you?”

“Of course not,” scoffs Chan, rolling his eyes. “You don’t need my permission. She doesn’t belong to me.”

“Awww. And I know that must be difficult for yo-”

“But she doesn’t belong to you either.”

Jisung says nothing for a moment, before cocking his head at the DJ with a smirk and stepping towards him. “Oh? Is that so? I don’t see anyone else going to the VIP room with her the nights I’m here.”

“Guys-” you feebly try to take control of the situation, but your words fall on deaf ears.

“Y/N is a human being, not a fucking dog, Jisung. Nobody ‘owns’ her.” Chan crosses his arms against his chest, looking the younger man dead in the eye. “If anything, considering you’ve been coming here and paying her the big bucks, for what, a year now? I’d say she’s the one that owns you.”

Jisung smirk immediately disappears and you swear you can feel the air between the two men flood with tension. But within an instant, he smiles again, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Now, now, there’s no need to get your panties in a twist. But don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her and have some fun for the both of us. If you want, I can tell you all about it later.”

You quickly glance at Chan, his fingernails digging into the skin of his biceps, his jaw clenching so hard he looks like he could bust a vein in his neck.

“That’s enough,” Changbin interjects, massaging his temples in frustration. “Come on, Chan, you’re in the booth next. And Jisung? Just remember the club rules-”

“I know, I know,” Jisung rolls his eyes and turns back to you. “Shall we, baby?”

You nod, silently praying that Changbin will calm everything down once you leave, and the two of you head to the VIP room. Jisung opens the door follows you inside, jumping in surprise when you slam it shut and shoot him a glare, and he only laughs in response. “What? If you can tease him, why can’t I?”

You sit on the maroon leather couch in the VIP room, counting your tips and mentally making sure you had enough to pay your upcoming bills for the month. Jisung had left about twenty minutes ago, and the lack of muffled music from the main floor indicates that it’s finally 3am and the club is closed for the night. You release a long sigh, slouching in your seat and resting your head back on the couch. You close your eyes, your mind still reeling from everything that happened. Everything about tonight shocked you. Usually, Chan was good at hiding his jealousy, since the last thing both of you want was to scare away potential guests, or for Minho to notice. But Chan talking back? His reaction to Jisung’s last jab before leaving for the VIP room? Those were new.

You have never seen Chan that jealous, and if you’re being completely honest with yourself, it was fucking hot. Thoughts of Chan not only standing up for you, but also being possessive of you, and what he could do to you out of jealousy filled your head, and you feel a sudden tingle shoot down to your core. Everything in you knows that you shouldn’t fuck Chan. There are rules, but you can’t stop your mind from imagining all the possible sinful acts you could do with him that you would do anything for at this point. You know that would be a bad idea, but the delicious wetness pooling between your thighs shoves any inhibitions you previously had out the door.

Fuck the rules.

You walk out onto the empty main floor, letting out a breath of relief to find Chan packing up his mixers - alone. You tap on the booth to get his attention, giggling when he jumps in surprise.

“You’re still here? I’d thought you’d be gone by now.”

“I was just counting tips,” you reply as you glance around the club, making sure you two were truly alone. “Chan… about earlier-”

“Yeah... sorry about that.” He lets out a long sigh and runs his fingers through his dark, messy hair, the tips of his ears turning pink in embarrassment. “I don’t know what came over me. I just... you know I get a bit jealous sometimes, and that prick was being extra annoying about it tonight.”

“Not gonna lie though, your clapback was pretty great. And hilarious,” you nudge his arm with your elbow.

He laughs. “Yeah, well I’m glad you thought it was, because Changbin sure as hell lectured me about it for a solid 15 minutes.”

A comfortable silence falls between you both as Chan goes back to packing up the table. You chew on your bottom lip, trying to figure out the best way to ease any tension that might be lingering, and to bring up what you truly want from him. “Chan... Jisung and I just talk when we’re in the VIP room. Nothing happens-”

He shakes his head, keeping his focus on his current task. “You don’t need to tell me, Y/N. It’s honestly none of my business what you do with the guests. Like I said earlier, you don’t belong to me.”

“But what if I want to?”

His head snaps up to meet your gaze, and you have to bite down on your bottom lip to keep yourself from giggling at the look of utter confusion on his face. You lean in closer, lips inches away from his, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Y/N… w-what are you doing?” Chan shakily asks, his stare flicking between your eyes and your lips.

“Something I’ve been wanting to do for ages.” With that, you close this distance between the both of you, and you practically feel him melt into your touch. His wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him, kissing you with such an intensity that ignites a fire in your core. He backs you up against the wall of the DJ booth, pressing his hips against yours and gently rolling them into you, making you moan against his lips.

Chan hesitantly breaks away from the kiss, breathing heavily as he searches your eyes for any sign of uncertainty or regret. “Y/N. The rules. I don’t want you to get fired-”

“I honestly don’t give a flying fuck about the rules at this point,” you purr, placing kisses along his jaw and neck. “Do you?”

He breaks into the biggest grin you have ever seen, and it makes you smile in return. “Fuck no.” His lips come crashing onto yours, deepening the kiss to the point where it’s a mess of teeth and tongues, indicating how desperately  both of you have been wanting to do this.

His head snaps up to meet your gaze, and you have to bite down on your bottom lip to keep yourself from giggling at the look of utter confusion on his face. You lean in closer, lips inches away from his, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Y/N… w-what are you doing?” Chan shakily asks, his eyes flicking between your own and your lips.

“Something I’ve been wanting to do for ages.” With that, you close this distance between the both of you, and you practically feel him melt into your touch. His wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him, kissing you back with such an intensity that further ignites the fire in your core. He backs you up against the wall of the DJ booth, pressing his hips against yours and gently rolling them into you, making you softly moan against his lips.

Chan hesitantly breaks away from the kiss, breathing heavily as he searches your eyes for any sign of uncertainty or regret. “Y/N. The rules. I don’t want you to get fired-”

“I honestly don’t give a flying fuck about the rules at this point,” you purr, planting kisses along his jaw and neck. “Do you?”

He breaks into the biggest grin you have ever seen as he brings a hand up to gently cup your cheek, and you can’t help but smile in return. “Fuck no.” His lips come crashing down onto yours, nipping and sucking at your bottom lip, asking for entrance which you instantly give him. You can feel his hard on growing beneath his jeans as he rolls his hips against you once more, making the knot in your stomach tighten.

“Hey, so I’m done-”

Changbin’s voice abruptly interrupts your heated rendezvous, making you frantically scramble out of Chan’s arms and dive underneath the table, while Chan quickly pretends to continue breaking down the DJ booth.

“You guys are literally the least discreet people I know. It blows my mind that you haven’t been caught yet.” You can’t see him, you just know Changbin is shooting Chan one of his signature death glares, intended for the both of you. You poke your head out from behind the booth, which only gets you dramatic eye roll from the other DJ. “Just don’t make a mess and don’t forget to lock up,” he grumbles as he turns to leave. “Oh, by the way bro, you got shit on your face.”

You glance up at Chan, giggling at your lipstick smeared along his lips, jaw, and neck, the bright red color prominent against his pale skin. He narrows his eyes at you, and you innocently mouth the word “whoops”, grinning as he rolls his eyes.

As soon as you hear the doors close, Chan pulls you to your feet, lifting you up and pinning you to the table. He attacks your neck and collarbones with rough kisses, but thankfully not rough enough to leave any marks that’ll need to be covered up for your next shift. Desperate for more, you wrap your legs around his waist and grind your hips up against his, smirking against his lips as he groans into your mouth.

Chan begins to plant wet kisses down your stomach as his hands frantically move from your hips to his belt. He begins to undo the buckle before you grab his hands to stop him, which only gets out a small whimper in confusion from the man. “Not here,” you lean up to pull him closer and playfully nip his bottom lip, before grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck and pulling it so he’s looking you straight in the eyes. “The VIP room.”

Chan’s eyes darken with lust as he harshly kisses you again, deepening the kiss to the point where it’s a mess of teeth and tongues, but it makes the heat between your legs grow by the second. You let out a yelp in surprise as he lifts you into his arms without warning, making his way to the infamous room where he’s watched you lead guests into night after night.

The second he steps into the VIP room, it’s as if both of your desires are kicked into overdrive, the desperation for what you’ve been waiting for all this time becoming almost unbearable. You take his bottom lip between your teeth again and tug on it lightly, relishing the way his grip on your ass tightens exponentially. Chan kicks the door closed, not breaking the kiss for one second as he sits down on the leather couch, positioning you so that you’re straddling his lap. You can feel his prominent bulge underneath the rough material of his jeans as he ruts up against your clothed heat, and you whimper as you grind against him, desperately wanting more and trying to indicate how much you want him need him now. You feel his hands firmly hold you in place, halting your motions and making you whine in frustration, which only earns you a low chuckle in response.

“Use your words, Y/N. Tell me what you want.”

You roughy kiss him and swivel your hips against him, smirking when he releases a throaty groan against your lips. You take a hold of the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him away from you so you can look him in his lust-filled eyes. “I want you, Chan. All of you.”

Chan smirks, giving you a quick kiss before lifting you off his lap, pulling down his jeans and flinging them off to god knows where. You hastily rip off your two piece and toss it haphazardly across the room, giggling when Chan pulls you back into his lap the second you’re bare in front of him. His gaze is locked on your form, taking you all in before looking back into your eyes. He stares at you as if you are a goddess, and you feel your cheeks flush from the attention.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he mutters, his hands sliding up and down your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He brings one hand to your jaw, pulling you into a searing kiss, his other hand taking hold his rigid member and sliding it through your sopping folds, making you shameless moan aloud. “Ride me babygirl,” Chan mumbles as he begins to kiss and nip at your collarbone, “take what you want from me.”

With that, you slowly lower yourself onto his cock, keening at the way he deliciously stretches you out, finally giving you the taste of what you’ve been wanting for so long. Chan throws his head back, screwing his eyes shut, a sinful groan falling from lips as you sit on him completely. Giving yourself a moment to adjust to his size, you wrap your arms around neck and pull him back so he’s meeting your gaze. You take his hands and intertwine them with yours, pinning them behind his head as you begin to ride him, slowly lifting yourself off him before quickly dropping back down. A string of illicit moans and curses falls from Chan’s lips, his hands firmly gripping yours, desperately trying to keep himself from breaking your grasp and taking control. He trails wet kisses down your chest, licking your nipples before taking them into his mouth and rolling them between his teeth, making you whimper and lean into his touch. You pick up for pace, admiring the way his face contorts into different expressions of pleasure as he throws his head back and looks up at you with glassy eyes.

“S-shit babygirl...”

His bout of self control doesn’t last much longer, because the next thing you know, Chan rips his hands from your grip, placing them on your hips as he begins to thrust up into you, meeting your movements halfway, hitting you in just the right spot. He moves a hand from your hips to rub firm circles against your clit, making you cry out in pleasure.

“F-fuck... Chan- oh my god...”

You try your best to continue to ride him, but you feel your thighs getting weaker and weaker with every thrust. You feel the pressure in your core building to the point of complete euphoria, when he lifts you off of him completely. You whine in frustration, feeling your high fade, hating how empty you feel without him buried inside you.

“Don’t worry baby,” Chan chuckles at your protests, suddenly flipping you around and positioning you on all fours on the couch. He places a tender kiss on your shoulder blade, before moving up to nibble your earlobe. “You’ll get to cum soon enough.”

He aligns himself with your entrance and eases into you, the new position allowing him to fill you deeper than before, making you both release illicit moans at the feeling. Chan slowly retracts his rock hard member from you, only to instantly plunge back into you, taking no time to pick up the pace, slamming into you at a rate that’s making you see stars. The momentum of his actions force you forward on the couch, making you cling desperately to the armrest in attempt to stable yourself, praying your shaky legs won’t completely give out underneath him. Suddenly, a sharp slap comes down on your ass, making you cry out and clench around him.

“Fuck... you like that, baby?” He massages where his hand had landed, only to spank your ass once more.

“G-god, yes Chan... p-please... harder.”

You feel another slap, come down on your other cheek, this time much harder, and you can’t help but moan loudly at the feeling, the delicious sting causing your grip around his cock to tighten exponentially. You hear him let out a low groan as his hips begin to slap against yours at a brutal speed, and you feel the knot in your stomach begin to unravel again.

“C-Chan, I’m... I’m close...”

“I know, babygirl, I can feel you.” Chan leans over you and plants rough kisses against your neck. “Go on, Y/N, cum for me.”

With his permission, you come undone around him, your release white hot, hitting you like a train and making your mind go completely blank as he continues to roll his hips into you, helping you ride out your high. Your legs feel useless under you, but thankfully Chan’s firm grip on your hips keeps you from collapsing from exhaustion. His thrusts start to become more and more erratic, desperately chasing his own high, groaning at the feeling of your tight pussy still throbbing around him. You can tell he’s close, and clench around him hard, smirking as you hear a string of curses fall from his lips, his hips rutting and quivering against you as he paints your walls white, and you hum in content at the warm feeling.

Chan slowly pulls out of you and falls back on the couch, gently pulling you so you’re laying on top of him. You leans up and playfully nip at his bottom lip, making him chuckle.

“That was...”

“Amazing,” you giggle, burying your face into his chest.

A comfortable silence falls between you two, and you eyes flutter close as you bask in heat the radiates from his body. He absentmindedly run his fingers lightly up and down your back, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” He quietly asks, as if he’s hesitant to bring it up again. “Do you want want to belong to me?”

You look up at him, and you swear you can feel your heart expand at the way he’s staring back at you with so much hope and adoration. “I do... god I really do, Chan, but you know we can’t. We barely manage to flirt without getting caught, so this has to be one-time thing-“

“I got offered a job at a different club,” Chan quickly blurts out. “It has better hours, more creative freedom since I wouldn’t be DJing for strippers... If I took it, would it change things?”

“You’d do that? But you love this job.”

“I do, but not gonna lie, I mainly love it because I get to see you.” His comment makes you blush, and you bury your face in his chest again if efforts to keep him from noticing, which only gets you a soft laugh as he gently tips your chin up to face him again.

“Honestly, if it means I can do what we just did with you whenever we wanted, without having to worry about stupid rules or anything, then fuck yeah I’d take another job. The only downside is I won’t be able to watch you dance when I work.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you, laughing when you just roll your eyes at him.

You sit up, positioning yourself so that you’re straddling him once more. “That just means you’ll have to come back here as a guest.”

“Hmmm...” he mumbles as his eyes travel up and down your body, his hands reaching around and lightly squeezing your ass. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to follow the club rules though.”

“Don’t worry about those,” you purr, leaning down and nibbling on his ear, earning a quiet moan from him. “If you become my regular, all the rules are off the table.”

“I like the sound of that.” Chan gently cups your jaw and pulls you into a tender, but passionate kiss.

You smile against him, running your fingers through his hair, before pulling away slightly, your forehead resting against his. “Then I’m yours, Chan.”

“And I’m yours as well,” he whispers, pressing one more kiss to your lips, before wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you off the couch, earning him a yelp from you. He lays you down on the couch, hovering over you with a mischievous smirk plastered on his face. “What do you say, let me show how I can really treat you in the VIP room?”

[writethelifeyouwant]

Red

Summary: Y/N has been having an infuriating dry spell in the love department lately, thanks to lockdown, and her roommate Jensen is getting fed up with her attitude. So, he lets her in on a little secret…

Pairing: Danneel x Reader Rating: 18+ Tags: female masturbation, talk of male masturbation, phone sex, dirty talk, praise kink, light degradation, lockdown was hard on singletons but great for phone sex operators Word Count: 4.5k Created for: @anyfandomgoesbingo - Sex Hotline AU | @spnkinkbingo - Tribbing

A/N: Requested by @danneelsmain - hope this lived up to your expectations babe! I haven't written Danneel before but I really enjoyed writing this ❤️

“Yes... yes... yesyesyes–”

“Hey, Y/N!” Bang, bang, bang! “Hurry up in there will ya? I’m dyin’ here,” Jensen jiggled the doorknob to no avail, and Y/N was incredibly thankful she’d remembered to lock it this time.

I’m dying here, Y/N thought to herself, pulling the shower head from between her legs with a frustrated huff, the water swirling down the drain carrying the fading vestiges of her almost-orgasm with it. She had been so close. Bang! Bang! Bang!

“Just a minute!” she shouted, frustration tipping over into anger. The knob on the faucet was twisted to the ‘off’ position with unnecessary violence, and the shower curtain was attached at one less ring than it had been half an hour ago when it was yanked open to settle against the back wall of the tub.

Bang! Ban–

“Seriously, Jensen?!” Y/N barely had the towel secured around herself before she threw open the door, hastily ducking to avoid Jensen’s knock-in-progress.

“Thank fuck.” Jensen danced around Y/N and shoved the door shut, sending Y/N slipping across the tiles on her still-wet feet and locking her on the other side. The clearly audible hiss of Jensen relieving himself leaked through the door and Y/N growled in frustration, aiming a kick at the door before stomping down the hallway to her room.

He couldn’t have waited ten more seconds…

It had been bad enough that lockdown got them all stuck at home with no possibility of one night stands, or follow-up booty calls to keep her sex drive in check, but now Y/N was having an even bigger problem. She hadn’t been able to get herself over the finish line for at least two weeks, and she had no earthly idea as to why. Y/N was beginning to think that regular orgasms were part of the reason that she was usually nice to be around, because right now she felt like she was one bad joke away from stabbing somebody.

And that someone was likely to be Jensen.

Tucked up into the corner of the couch was Y/N’s standard position these days. She wasn’t sure what was playing on the TV, something as mindless as she felt right now.

“Budge up.” Jensen hit her feet and flopped back gracelessly on top of them without giving her the chance to move them.

“Ow, asshole!” A pillow whipped through the air and collided squarely with the side of Jensen’s face.

“What is your problem lately?”

“You, clearly,” Y/N snapped, pulling her knees into her chest defensively. Jensen raised a single eyebrow, giving her a pointed look. “No, it’s not you,” Y/N admitted, letting some of her aggression seep out of her frame with her words. “Sorry.”

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, it’s fine.”

There was a stiff silence between them, Jensen waiting for Y/N to break and answer his question and Y/N knowing that she didn’t want to talk about this with Jensen but not seeing a way out of the conversation. Jensen had an irritating habit of getting her to open up about things she never planned on telling people – like the fact that she was gay. And now he was about to hear far more about her sex life than she ever wanted to share with someone of the male species.

“I’m, um,” her cheeks were on fire as she glanced up to see Jensen looking back at her with concerned curiosity. “I’m… having a problem,” she finished lamely.

“Okay…”

“I can’t… Do you ever–” Y/N choked on the words every time they tried to bubble through. “So… um, it’s– it’s been a while.” She saw comprehension flash over Jensen’s freckled face a moment later.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“You know PornHub has a whole section for lesbian shit, right?” Another pillow hits him in the face. “Okay, okay, ow,” Jensen rubs his jaw in exaggeration. “But seriously, it’s been a while for everyone. You just gotta take business into your own hands.”

“You don’t think I’ve been doing that?” Y/N hissed, unconsciously checking around them as if someone else was in their apartment who might overhear.

“Well then what’s the problem?”

“I haven’t like,” Y/N made a variety of nonsequitous hand motions that had no bearing on the word ‘orgasm’ but Jensen seemed to get the message.

“How long?” he cringed.

“Like, almost three weeks? And it’s not like I haven’t been trying like, everything, I just… can’t,” she shrugged helplessly. “Has this kind of thing ever happened to you? Is there something like, physically wrong with me?”

“No, no, I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with you,” Jensen rushed to reassure her, patting her leg awkwardly. “This kind of thing happens all the time.”

“So it’s happened to you too?” Hope shone from Y/N’s face that maybe she wasn’t doomed to a life empty of sexual pleasure.

“Well… no, not exactly.” Y/N’s shoulders drooped, hopes slashed.

“How are you staying so sane?” Y/N accused. “You used to be with a different girl every few days before all of this.”

“Hey! I was not,” Jensen was mock offended but Y/N could tell he was also a little proud. “And I’ve, uh… I’ve got my sources,” his eyes twinkled mischievously as he answered her question.

“Jensen Ross Ackles, have you been sneaking out behind my back!”

“No,” he rolled his eyes, “nothing like that.” Jensen pulled out his phone and started scrolling through the screen as Y/N watched.

“Jen, if you’re trying to show me porn, I’m good. Don’t need to see what you get off to,” Y/N shuddered at the thought. A text beeped on her phone a second later, Jensen’s name popping up on the screen.

“That’s my source,” he explains and she opens the message to see a 1-800 number, next to the word Red.

“Red?”

“Red.” Jensen confirmed with a wicked grin, nodding sagely.

Y/N could not believe she was about to do this. She looked down at the number on her phone screen, ready to dial as soon as she pressed the little green button. Jensen’s assurances echoed in her head. Best phone sex I’ve ever had… she actually gets off with you, she’s not just faking it… sounds so hot, and her body is killer in her profile pic. Admittedly, the picture he’d shown her had been really fucking sexy. A slender girl in small red panties and unfairly pretty breasts cradled in a satin bra covered in little hearts, dark red hair pinned up around her face in a vintage style.

Before she could talk herself out of it again, Y/N pressed dial and held the phone up to her ear. It rang a few times before connecting to an automated menu, and Y/N was secretly relieved she wouldn’t have to ask an operator if she could speak to ‘Red’.

Thank you for calling the Sugar Lips Hotline. Please enter your card details to continue.

Jensen had warned her about this part, so she had her card sitting out of her wallet on the desk in front of her.

If you know who you are trying to reach, please press one. If you would like to be assigned a random operator, please press two.

Y/N shakily pressed the number one, and then put the phone on speaker while she was at it.

If you would like to speak with Candy, press one, followed by the pound key. If you would like to speak with Kitty, press two, followed by the pound key. If you would like to speak with Lance…

Y/N wondered if she would still have the confidence to go through with this by the time the robotic voice mentioned ‘Red’.

If you would like to speak with Red, press thirteen, followed by the pound key.

The moment of truth. Y/N entered the number 13 and then pressed the pound key. The line began to ring again.

“Hi there,” a temptingly soft voice slipped through the receiver of the phone sitting on the desk in front of her.

“Hi-i,” Y/N’s voice was jarring in comparison, breaking on the first word she uttered.

“Oh, so I’ve got a pretty little girl on the line today, huh?” Y/N didn’t know how to answer so she didn’t, hands frozen in a death grip on the sleeves of her too big sweatshirt. “What’s your name, baby?”

“Y/N,” she whispered back, suddenly scared that Jensen would be able to hear every word being said in her room. Quickly digging into her pockets she pulled out her headphones and plugged them into her cell. Why hadn’t she done that earlier?

“That’s such a pretty name, baby,” the woman cooed, and now her voice was right against Y/N’s ears; it felt like she was in the room, whispering against her skin. “I’m Red.”

“That’s what I should call you?” Y/N managed to keep the tremor out of her words this time.

“Unless you want to call me something else? I can be whoever you want me to be baby girl. Mommy, ma’am, mistress…” Y/N’s heart thundered against her ribs. She realised that she had no idea what she wanted from this – she just knew she was desperate. “Or maybe you want to be in charge? I could be your baby, your good little girl.” Y/N wished she could see Red right now, watch what she looked like as she purred all these promises down the line, teasing and tempting.

“Is,” Y/N gulped, “is there anyone you want me to be?”

“Nuh-uh,” she tutted, and Y/N could imagine her shaking her head, red curls flying by her cheeks. “This is all about you Y/N. I’m here to make you feel good.”

Y/N felt a lick of heat curl in the base of her stomach, twisting itself around her intestines.

“Yeah, I could use that,” she laughed nervously, figuring she should be honest if she wanted this to work out well. And she really needed it to.

“Oh, have you been feeling a little pent up baby?” Red’s voice echoed in Y/N’s ears. The small vibrations coming out of her earbuds were enough to start sending a pulsing sensation down the side of her neck, worming its way under her skin and into her veins. Christ, it had been too long.

“You have no idea.”

“Well, I betcha we can fix that. Are you somewhere comfortable sweetie?”

“I could get on the bed?” Y/N offered, wondering why she hadn’t started there in the first place, rather than at her desk.

“That sounds like a great idea,” Red purred seductively. “Why don’t you stretch out on the bed, get yourself nice and cozy. Maybe prop a pillow up next to you and think about me snuggling you in real close. Wish I could be there to put my hands all over your body.”

Y/N was thankful she was already sitting on her bed by the time Red finished painting her little scene because if she’d been walking, she’s pretty sure her knees would have given out.

“Fuck, it’s been so long since I felt another girl’s hands on me.” She tried not to be embarrassed at how whimpery her voice had gone. If this went well it was about to get a whole lot worse anyways.

“I want to touch every inch of you,” Red breathed heavily. “Run my fingers through your hair, over your neck, down your back. Would I find a bra there to unhook, baby?”

“Yeah,” Y/N sighed, arching her shoulders and feeling the band scratch taught around her ribs, pushing her breast up towards her chin.

“Why don’t you take that off for me?”

“Okay,” Y/N felt her voice shake as much as her hands as she reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, breathing deeply when the pressure of the garment disappeared.

“Bet that felt good, didn’t it baby?” Red laughed knowingly.

“Yeah,” Y/N agreed, loosening up a little at the acknowledgement of a shared experience, something all girls could relate to. She pulled her arms through the straps beneath her sweatshirt and shimmying the discarded bra out the bottom before pushing her arms back through her sleeves. The peaks of her nipples tightened as they caught on the pills of fleece that now sat against her chest.

“What else are you wearing?”

Suddenly embarrassed she hadn’t thought to put on anything sexy in preparation for this call, Y/N didn’t manage more than an “um…” before Red laughed, a warm sound that melted into her like chocolate against your tongue.

“Why don’t I tell you what I’m wearing?”

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded before she remembered that Red couldn’t see her. “Bet it’s something really sexy,” she attempted to flirt, cringing at how awkward she sounded.

“Well that depends,” Red mused. “Do you like lace?”

“Yeah,” Y/N breathed. She loved seeing girls in lace lingerie; the way the delicate weave of the pattern offered small tastes of the skin it covered, the way you could feel someone’s warmth seeping through such a thin fabric so easily, the way it felt to have someone touch you or suck you through such a meagre sheet of modesty…

“What about stockings?” Red voice broke through Y/N’s train of thought, pulling her back to the vaguely out of body experience she was having.

“Love them,” Y/N answered quietly, trying to pitch her voice the way Red was, low and alluring.

“Well, that’s a shame,” she sighed dramatically. “Because I’m not wearing anything at all right now, sorry to disappoint.” Y/N couldn’t see her but she would bet anything Red was wearing a big pout right now. She wondered what her lips looked like. In her head she pictured soft and pillowy.

“You are such a tease,” Y/N laughed, hoping to disguise the pang of arousal that had shot through her a moment before.

“Yeah, but you like it, don’t you baby?”

“Yeah, I really do,” Y/N found herself admitting unconsciously.

“Are you gonna keep teasing me, or are you gonna get naked too baby girl?”

A throb of desire fluttered between Y/N’s legs, her pussy clenching, and when she squirmed back into her pillow a little she felt the lace fabric of her own panties sliding a little more between her thighs. Her arousal had started to soak out of her and into the material.

“You want me naked?” Y/N’s words scratched their way out of her throat, trying to pull her confidence along with them.

“Oh god, please baby,” Red moaned loudly, but it didn’t sound fake. It was like Jensen had told her, it sounded like she was really enjoying this, and like she was actually getting off on what was happening between them right now. “Want to feel your skin against mine.”

“I want that too, baby,” Y/N’s hasty breaths shook her words. She stripped out of her underwear and shoved her phone and headphones down the front of her sweatshirt so she could shimmy it over her head without disconnecting the earbuds. She didn’t want to miss anything.

“God, if I was there I would kiss all over you. Bet you taste amazing,” Red sighed, and Y/N could hear something shifting over the phone, like fabric moving around.

“Are you on your bed too?” Y/N asked.

“Yep, all spread out for you baby girl.”

“Are you touching yourself?” Y/N’s confidence was starting to build as she heard how much Red sounded like she’s into this, and she couldn’t deny she was turned on too. She felt wetter than she’d been in weeks, and when her fingers drifted down over her stomach its muscles twitched in anticipation of where she was about to touch.

“Where do you want me to touch?” Y/N let her eyes slide closed, and she could imagine Red batting her lashes as she asked - where do you want me to touch? - She pictured the girl she’d seen in the photo poised over her, legs straddling Y/N’s hips as Red ran her hands over her own body, fingers trailing over her throat, fondling her breasts, twisting around the pink flesh at the tips of each, lingering on the soft of her stomach before dipping lower.

“I want you to touch between your legs and tell me how wet you are,” Y/N said between deep breaths, trying to keep her voice even.

“I’m already so wet for you, baby,” Red gasped, and Y/N hoped it was a reaction to her fingers slipping inside her pussy.

“If you were here with me, what would you do right now?”

“I’d make you watch me fuck myself on my fingers.” Holy shit, Y/N couldn’t help the moan that bled through her lips, and she heard Red chuckle. “Yeah, you like the sound of that baby?”

“Mm-hmm,” Y/N whimpered, her own fingers finally making their way between her legs and sliding easily through the slick she found there.

“I’d straddle myself right over your face, so you could see my fingers fucking my pussy, feel me dripping on you.”

“Oh, fuck.”

“And then, when my fingers are nice and soaked, you’re gonna suck them clean like a good little girl, aren’t you sweetheart?” Red’s monologue was absolutely wrecking Y/N, she wanted everything the woman on the end of the line was describing so badly. “Want you to do it to yourself, since I can’t be there to do it for you. Can you get those fingers nice and wet for me baby?”

“Fuck, yeah, okay.” Y/N pushed two fingers inside her pussy, clenching around them wantonly. She must have let out some kind of noise because Red giggled again before she continued talking.

“That’s it, fuck yourself for me baby girl, until I can do it for you.” And fucking hell, the thought of Red actually with her, touching her, fucking her… “Your fingers nice and dirty now?”

“Mm-hmm,” Y/N squeaked, pressing against her g-spot to get herself even wetter.

“Good girl,” Red hummed. “Now suck them clean for me, Y/N. Want you to taste just how sweet you are. God, wish I could taste you too,” she moaned, her breath hitching.

Y/N obeyed Red’s instructions, sucking her fingers into her mouth and twirling her tongue around them, curling it across the dips and whorls of her fingertips. She groaned around the digits in her mouth, trying to make it audible that she was doing as she was told.

“Good girl,” Red cooed again, obviously hearing Y/N’s sucking. “Good filthy girl. You’re so dirty aren’t you baby, bet you’re dripping onto the sheets right now you’re so horny.”

“Oh my god,” Y/N felt her whole body clenching as she pushed her hand back between her legs, toying with her clit and sending fresh jolts of desire to her core. “Fuck, I’m touching myself again. Couldn’t help it, you’re so hot baby.”

“I want you to touch yourself sweetie. Want you to make yourself feel so good.”

“I want you to feel good too,” Y/N whimpered, maybe stupidly, but she remembered Jensen saying that Red got off with him and she wanted the same thing. She wanted to know that Red wanted her, that Red found her sexy. She didn’t want to be in this alone.

“Oh, I am feeling so good baby girl,” Red assured Y/N, her voice brimming with sincerity and whimpers to back it up. “Fucking myself so good, pretending it’s your fingers inside me.”

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” Y/N couldn’t come up with anything more eloquent than that. The more she played with herself the foggier her brain got.

“What are you imaging right now?”

“Thinking about you, you on top of me.”

“You want me on top, huh? Want me to hold you down a little, baby?”

“Mm, yeah,” Y/N sighed, slipping two fingers from her free hand down to her entrance and pushing them inside, keeping her other hand on her clit, rolling it between her fingers. “You could hold me down, grind yourself against me. Use me to get yourself off.” Y/N’s breathing was ragged now, and the fingers inside her pussy sought out her g-spot again, starting to focus their efforts a little more concertedly on the spongy bundle of nerves.

“Oh sweetie, that’s so hot, fuck,” Red moaned heavily, her breath catching on her curse. “I’d grind against you so good. Rub our pussies together, all slick and hot, grind my clit against yours nice and hard. Fuck, touch your clit for me baby.”

“I am,” Y/N gasped, drawing fast little circles over the nub between her legs. “Fuck, want all that so bad. Think you could come like that? Just from rubbing your pussy on me, getting me all wet and dirty?”

“Fuck yes, love rubbing my pussy on yours, love grinding our clits together. I could tease you so good. Go nice and slow, wonder how long you’d last before you start begging me to let you cum.”

“I’m close,” Y/N whimpered, surprised at how true it was. She hadn’t gotten so close to cumming this quickly in ages.

“Already baby? You naughty little girl,” Red groaned, and the sound of bed springs crackled through Y/N’s earbuds too. Y/N pictured Red arching off the bed, fucking her hips into her fingers. “You want to cum for me baby?”

“Fuck, yes, yes please,” Y/N begged, feeling the muscles in her thighs and stomach starting to constrict, heat singing through her veins.

“Not yet baby, keep fucking yourself.” Y/N let out a pathetic whine in protest. “You can do that for me, can’t you sweetie. Fuck yourself on those pretty little fingers for me?”

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

“Good girl, I’m so fucking close baby.”

“Fuck, please, want you to cum. Want you to cum with me.” Y/N’s eyes squeezed tight as small pinpricks of light started to burst in the darkness of her vision.

“Gonna cum for you, baby girl,” Red cried, voice high and tight. “Fuck, I’m gonna squirt, I can feel it. Gonna squirt all over your pussy, fucking soak you.”

“Oh my god,” Y/N felt like she might actually start crying, she needed to cum so badly. She was so so so close.

“Rub that little clitty, pretend it’s me rubbing up against you. All hot and wet,” her voice was breaking, her words short and breathless, and Y/N could tell Red was as close as she was. “Gonna cum all over you. Fuck, gonna squirt so hard bet I could actually cum inside you.”

“Holy fuck!” Y/N’s hips snapped into the air, searching for the imaginary body she wished was there. It was becoming hard to hear through the intense buzzing in her ears. Every nerve in her body was pulled taut, ready to snap.

“Cum for me Y/N, c’mon baby, you can do it, want you to cum for me like the good little girl you are baby, c’mon.”

Y/N was sobbing, wrist pistoning her fingers in and out of herself faster than she ever remembered being able to move, and she felt the walls of her pussy clamping down, trying to keep the pressure inside where it wanted it. And then she couldn’t take it anymore. Everything froze. She might have screamed, but to be honest she couldn’t be too sure, because she couldn’t hear anything except the white light that had flooded the dark space behind her eyelids.

Lockdown became much more bearable after that day. Though Y/N did have to try really hard to not think about the fact that she and Jensen were kind of fucking the same girl. In a way. It was weird. But if she ignored that part, then her ‘dates’ with Red were perfect. She was finally able to release all the tension, sexual and otherwise, that this whole mess had building up in her system constantly. And eventually, the world started to open back up and things started to get just a little bit easier.

Y/N wondered what she would do when lockdown was well and truly over. When the bars and clubs opened up again, would she and Jensen go out and try to hook up like they always had before? Would everything just go back to normal? Would she still want to call Red if she was getting actual sex with a real girl, and not just her hand or a bit of silicone? Yes. The answer was most definitely yes, Y/N had to admit to herself. Even though it was just phone sex, it was still some of the best sex she’d ever had.

Well, Red is a professional, she thought to herself wryly as she spooned some froth onto the top of the cappuccino she was making. The coffee shop she worked at had reopened last week, finally.

“Y/N! Can you jump on register while I take my break?” Michelle called from the end of the counter.

“Sure thing,” Y/N smiled and wiped her hands off on her apron, making her way behind the other baristas to the cash register. She briefly glanced at the line of people waiting to order – a couple of college kids carrying some scary looking textbooks, a portly man scratching his bald patch, a pretty girl with shiny hair and awesome winged liner. Y/N blushed as she caught the eye of the girl, and immediately looked back at her tablet, typing in her register code.

“Hi there, what can I get you?” Y/N’s customer service voice was alarmingly cheery, and the two college guys blinked, startled, clearly still unused to interacting with humans again – Y/N knew the feeling, cringing internally. She made a note to dial the pep back a little.

“Hey, what can I get you?” It was the pretty girl at the front of the line now.

“Um, I’ll have a caramel latte, please,” she answered with a bright smile, red lips stretching across shockingly white teeth.

“Size?” Y/N asked, tapping the order into her tablet.

“How big can you make it?” the girl giggled, and Y/N looked up, something tugging at the back of her mind.

“Um, large?” Y/N answered absentmindedly, trying to figure out what was bugging her so much. The girl just nodded, politely accepting the fact that Y/N had skated over her joke. “Can I get a name for the order?” She grabbed the large sized cup and uncapped the marker, hand poised over the white cardboard, ready to write.

“Oh, sure. It’s Danneel.”

“Danielle?” Y/N asked, her mind still wandering.

“No, Dan– you know what, it’s a weird name. Just go with Red.”

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