#free binary options system

[discodeerdiary]

There's a good reason why I try not to argue publicly with anyone under 18, and it's not that I think they're inherently stupid, it's not that I think their brains are "underdeveloped", it's not that I think they can "do no wrong", it's that I never know how much freedom they actually have to think freely, or how many of their opinions are actually their own. Of course, under-18s *can be* capable of thinking for themselves and developing their own opinions, but (here in the US at least) law and culture put a lot of roadblocks on their ability to do so.

Of course parents and teachers cannot actually control the inner thoughts of the children they wield power over, but they can restrict the information that they have access to, can punish them for saying the wrong things, can cut them off from healthy diverse social groups, and can convince the child their thoughts are being monitored through religion, psychology, and other appeals to higher authority.

Thus if a random teenager says some headass shit in my mentions I have no way of knowing if these are opinions they arrived at on their own, or if they are dogmas forced on them by the people holding food and shelter over their head. If it's the latter, there's nothing to be gained from a public confrontation: people are generally unwilling to change their opinions in a direction that threatens their social support system, and they are especially unwilling to do so at the behest of an internet stranger who cannot offer alternative forms of support. If a teen is genuinely curious about my opinion (that is *if they consent* to a discussion of disagreements) and if I have the mental bandwidth for a potentially emotionally loaded conversation, yeah I'll have it, but I'm not gonna maintain any illusions about my ability to change their mind until they can find a way to live independently.

This is also why my leniency toward the not-yet-adult tends to also extend to the recently-adult. Coming up with a system of beliefs that you're actually willing to stand behind? Shit takes time, and I'm not necessarily gonna expect it of a 20-year-old who may, for all I know, have been living under conditions of near-absolute control up until their 18th birthday. Sure they may be opening their mind in college, or college may be their parents way of keeping them too occupied with busywork to develop new opinions, as they continue to hold financial support over their head. It's around their mid-twenties that I'm willing to go full gloves-off antagonistic with strangers, knowing that they've had a few years of legal and social adulthood under their belt, and that even if they're still financially dependent on their parents it's a different sort of dependence, one where they're given default legal permission to run away from home.

A lot of people are deeply uncomfortable with this line of thinking because if you look too far into the factors that influence young people's thoughts, you eventually have to start asking yourself which forces of dependency are influencing your own beliefs and opinions. Yeah, as an independent adult you may have the option to quit your job, divorce your spouse, ditch your friends, move to another country, but realistically how many of these can you accomplish at the same time? How many do you even want to? And how are all of these forces *in aggregate* setting the acceptable limits of what you're allowed to think and feel? It can be upsetting to think of yourself this way, it can be easier to think of yourself as a true free thinker and children as mindless automatons, but I urge you to think of mentally coercive environments as a continuum rather than a binary. The point is not to free yourself from all influence, but to gain the ability to see yourself as an influenced mind, and to have compassion for those dealing with all the bullshit you don't have to anymore.

[reasonsforhope]

"Shopping for clothes is already intimidating. There are so many options and styles to consider, as well as factors like sustainability and ethics.

But for people in fat, disabled, or queer and gender-nonconforming bodies, it’s even more arduous.

Nico Herzetty, Emma K. Clark, and Paul Herzetty wondered: What if there was a way people could shop — not necessarily by color or size — but by measurements, materials, and ethics?

So they set off to create their website: Phoria. 

Here, shoppers can set up a free profile, add their body measurements (and “typical fit challenges”) and peruse over 270 brands. Once these data points are entered, users can personalize their pages with “saved,” “recommended,” or “hidden” brands. 

Pages can be totally private, or shared with the community to connect over styles and brands.

Aside from fit, brands in the Phoria database (which claims to be “the largest database of plus-friendly brands”) can also be filtered as “gender-neutral,” “woman-run,” “small business,” or “natural fibers.” Users can also filter for price, preferred styles, and more.

Pictured: A screenshot of the "Fit Challenges" feature on a Phoria user's profile.

Some brands include popular names like Athleta, Levi’s, and Patagonia. Others are small businesses, like Beefcake Swimwear, or Hey Peach.

“For so many people, it feels too damn hard to find and keep clothing that fits in all the ways that really matter. So we’re doing something about it,” the Phoria website reads.

“Unlike most online shopping experiences, we center the needs of plus-size women, nonbinary, and trans people, and prioritize supporting clothing brands focused on sustainability, ethics, and inclusion.” ...

That team — made up of Clark, and Nico and Paul Herzetty — calls themselves “fat, disabled, and very, very queer.” 

“These are some of the main ways we identify, and they’re qualities that have directly impacted our ability to get dressed every day in a way that feels good,” the Phoria team introduces themselves on the website.

Pictured: A screenshot of Phoria's plus-size clothing brand database.

In addition to catering the user experience to women, non-binary, and trans people, Phoria is also a benefit corporation, or a B corp.

“We’ve legally required ourselves to consider the interests of all our stakeholders — customers, employees, the planet, and our shareholders,” the Phoria website explains.

“Our specific public benefit purpose is to reduce people’s dependence on buying mass-produced items made in unsustainable ways and to use human-centered business models to boldly challenge economic systems of inequity.” 

Right now, in the early stages of the company’s business, it doesn’t make any money.

“We’re focused on building something that genuinely solves plus-size people’s challenges around clothes shopping and supports smaller and more sustainable brands,” Phoria’s website states.

So, spreading the word seems to be of utmost importance...

Additionally, TikTok creators @couplagoofs (a queer couple named Morgan and Phoebe), recently shared a video in which they discovered Phoria. They met the website’s creators at a fat liberation event in their city and were introduced to the tool.

Quickly, commenters responded with gratitude and excitement.

“It is so disappointing to sort through pages of plus size clothes that aren’t even plus size,” a TikTok user commented. “This is gonna be such a good tool!” 

Some even shared emotional responses, speaking to the need at the heart of Phoria’s mission. 

“I’m… gonna cry,” another commenter wrote. “I’ve needed this my whole life.”"

-via Goodgoodgood, November 20, 2023

[genderkoolaid]

Do you genuinely believe we can somehow change the hearts and minds of billionaires and politicians in power in for example the USA in a way that will actually result in a radical change in and improvement of conditions for folks currently oppressed under capitalism in the USA and hopefully globally? If so, how?

This is coming from someone who really would like to believe pure nonviolence is possible but who does not see much of an actual way forward for that. That said I do not see those billionaires and politicians as "nonhuman", I don't think that's productive and I think dehumanizing anyone who is factually a human person as a practice is dangerous so I am in agreement with you there. Thanks for your time if you choose to share your thoughts.

What I like about Against the Logic of the Guillotine is that it isn't for pure nonviolence. It breaks down the false binary that our options are "let the streets run red with blood until our every thirst for revenge is slaked" or "punching nazis makes you as bad as them 🥺"

& i think that binary is tempting because it absolves us of a responsibility to think deeply about things. if all revolutionary violence is good and justified, then you don't have to think too hard about the violence, you just see it & condone it. If all violence is bad and morally evil, then you still don't have to think too hard to condemn it. Our options are like, moral baby food.

But if we reject that binary, then there is no easy answer. Its not as easy as "yes leftist violence is always justified" or "any violence ever is always unjustified." You have to ask yourself, what am I doing? Why? What does this accomplish? Who is affected by this? What do they have to say? It makes us look at the actual nature of our violence and pick it apart and see where we have fucked up and where we might fuck up again. Its a lot more messy and also requires that we form relationships with others & genuinely listen to what they have to say. Its much much harder than Violence Good or Violence Bad but its also much more capable of adapting to the needs of people in the complicated situations where we find ourselves.

My opinion is that we will not reach anti-capitalism and anti-imperialism without violence. But more than anything, its because the systems in power will not let us. I think the foundation of the Revolution (in a more abstract sense of the word) must be community. We should focus our efforts most on building local networks of mutual support. If people suddenly find themself in a community that has free public food gardens & a community fridge, where people are already practicing transformative justice, etc. etc. then it will become materially obvious that we don't need to rely on the current system to survive. It will become clear that the current system is more of a hindrance to what we could do if we were not being controlled. And then people will be more likely to support any revolutionary violence that becomes necessary, because they will see their neighbors and know that when the dust settles, they know how to care for each other through shitty situations. Violence should really be the topping on a cake of community & indispensability politics.

Also this line from AtLotG really changed my perspective on "punishing the rich":

The worst punishment anyone could inflict on those who govern and police us today would be to compel them to live in a society in which everything they’ve done is regarded as embarrassing—for them to have to sit in assemblies in which no one listens to them, to go on living among us without any special privileges in full awareness of the harm they have done. If we fantasize about anything, let us fantasize about making our movements so strong that we will hardly have to kill anyone to overthrow the state and abolish capitalism. This is more becoming of our dignity as partisans of liberation.

"If we fantasize about anything, let us fantasize about making our movements so strong that we will hardly have to kill anyone to overthrow the state and abolish capitalism" really sums it up for me.

[hiiragi7]

Fully Fused Multiplicity - Simultaneously One and Many

I refer to myself nowadays as a fully fused multiple - an identity that may seem somewhat contradictory, given how often functional multiplicity and final fusion are talked about as one-or-the-other.

Upon reaching final fusion, I came to the realization that the difference between functional multiplicity and final fusion is not and never was this unfathomable gap, that final fusion was not a bridge you crossed once and could never go back to multiple except through force (further traumatization, recovery falling apart, an inability to cope), but rather they are two sides of the same coin, fluid and overlapping and even inseperable from one another. The terms themselves quite honestly don't feel adequate to describe quite how this feels, and I fear they give people a rather binary view on the endless possibilities for recovery, seeing as I had this view before myself.

In my years in plural and system spaces, it was always "are you aiming for functional multiplicity or final fusion?", and so despite my own thoughts on plurality as a framework (if you view yourself as plural/multiple, you're plural/multiple), I somehow found myself surprised to learn the options for recovery as a multiple were never actually this narrow to begin with, and that the two are nowhere near mutually exclusive.

I am functionally multiple and fully fused; I am both, simultaneously, always. I have come to know each as a shift in view, both of which are needed. My parts are perspectives with which to explore life from many different angles. ( @reimeichan 's "Different Readers of the Same Book" frames this elegantly, and this idea has embedded itself in me ever since.)

Both as one and as many, it is a way of knowing myself on the deepest and most intimate level. Final fusion is a radical form of self-love, an absolute acceptance and celebration of everything that I am, and this has dramatically altered the way in which my parts express and how we come together into an overall self. Simultaneously, my parts are a relationship, one that can only be recognized as uniquely multiple in nature and yet has evolved in such a way that becomes difficult to describe using the language I had used before as an unfused multiple. I am undeniably a multiple and I am fully and completely fused.

The fluidity in which I find myself in is incredibly freeing, my self-expression made up of love letters to my parts. My parts are gradients of watercolor on a canvas flowing in and out of each other, only subjective distinction remains between any one of us, myself is the larger painting encompassing everything. All parts of me create a self so unapologetically full of color, the love found there as necessary as breathing. I have come to view even the painful parts as an expression of love.

I find my headcount these days to be infinitely shifting, all at once I am one and I am many. How I visualize myself, how many I am, it all moves with me. Alongside subtle changes in my emotions, my thoughts, my perspective, myself shifts from moment to moment in a way that just feels right. This is me, all of me. This is the love we have created.

[vaguelyaperson]

as much as i understand shigaraki's death, narratively speaking, i'm also so goddamn tired of society needing martyrs.

what made me fall in love with shigaraki is that he's an excellent villain. all his character development built towards him becoming a more competent, driven, effective villain. he became an incredible symbol of fear just as deku became an incredible symbol of peace. this is who he was, in entirety. there is nothing else shigaraki could be.

when shigaraki told izuku, in his final moments, to pass on the message to spinner that "shigaraki fought to destroy until the very end," it really emphasized how it would have dishonored him to be vegeta'd, as it were.

shigaraki made it his mission to tear down hero society. this was his noble mission. this is what made him a hero to the league of villains. because he saw the systemic evils, he saw the evils that hurt his friends, and sought to destroy it all.

there's something to be said about trying to change someone who doesn't want to change, but for shigaraki, it was more than just trying to rehabilitate him from mass murdering. because to him, and the league of villains, what he was doing WAS the right thing. to tell shigaraki not to destroy would be akin to telling deku not to save. "you may not understand, but that's what makes me the villain."

there was a binary choice here: either he'd be left free to complete his mission and destroy everything, or he'd be stopped, permanently.

Izuku, by reaching tenko's heart, but ultimately stopping shigaraki, was choosing the only third option he had: declaring that he would not let all of society be destroyed, but not without promising that he'd do everything he can to reform it here on out.

shigaraki destroys. deku saves.

that's it. that's the bnha narrative in its most basic foundation. horikoshi did not fail to tell that story.

I think what ultimately fucking sucks about this ending is that it's too realistic. society often DOES need a martyr - or often martyrs - to realize that they fucked up, that they let an evil persist too long. they need a shocking enough tragedy to point to and swear they'll never let it happen again. society needs to be rocked to its very core before people can be motivated to get their heads out of their asses and work together towards reforms.

and that in itself is an evil, that people can't see how much harm they're causing or condoning without some horrific tragedy.

i think we're all mad at horikoshi for failing to follow through on the story because we didn't WANT the realistic ending. we wanted the hopeful one. the against all odds one. we didn't want another story about society using the image of martyrs to get its shit together. because we already know that story. and we're so so so tired of it.

especially when we know it only leads to a temporary peace.

because people forget. they put in enough reforms to feel good, and then get comfortable and ignorant again. when does that cycle end? when can we finally notice the evil in time to PREVENT it? so that everyone, 'heroes and villains,' get a happy ending?

I think our anger with the bnha ending is good. we want different - not just in fiction, but in real life. we're willing to hope for different. we should hold onto hope and fight for different.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

we should abolish prostitution, period.

„but what will women with no other options do?“ they should not be prostituted in the first place because thats coercion of sexual acts which is illegal. if they cant say no without serious consequences, and the sex buyers know that or at least have to assume it (because why would she be prostituted if she didnt need money), it makes them abusers and sexual offenders and they should be treated as such.

„but what about the women who enjoy doing it?“ if they have other options - they can do something else. their alleged personal enjoyment does not matter more than the overall harm the industry afflicts on marginalised people, especially women.

„but then it will just become invisible and social workers cant reach the women“ invisible prostitution is not reduced when buying sex is legal, legalisation just additionally creates and fosters visible prostitution. apartment and other hidden prostitution is common whether buying sex is legal or not.

„but trafficking is already illegal, prostitution should be legal“ you are a fool if you believe those are two entirely separate things; the voluntary vs forced prostitution binary is misleading on purpose, a lot if not most prostitution is inbetween: being under financial duress, impoverished and/or having financial dependents like children and other family certainly inhibits free and voluntary choice.

„but all labour under capitalism is coerced, prostitutes need workers rights and protection“ and in any other context, coerced sexual acts are recognised as violence, not labour. other industries and job are exploitative, but dont constitute sexual violence.

„but what will the women do?“ what is your proposition? they will certainly never get out of the system if their sexual abuse is legitimised and supported by legalising the purchase of sex. we should emphasise creating alternatives and lifting women out of desperate situations, and urge our governments to take action. harm reduction is important now but the longterm goal should be abolition, making buying sex legal only strengthens and helps the system - and damns marginalised people to this fate now and in the future.

[rpgsandbox]

Wilderfeast is an RPG about becoming part of the natural world by making it part of you.

Players assume the role of “wilders”: monster hunters/chefs who wield gargantuan kitchen implements and gain powerful mutations from each monster they eat. Using those powers, they seek harmony between humanity and the wild.

All creatures, be they humans or monsters, obey the One Law of the One Land…

In Wilderfeast, players take on the role of the mutated rangers who roam the land trying to stop the frenzy, an eldritch virus which makes kaiju-esque monsters violent and self-destructive before leaping to stronger hosts.

Gameplay alternates between Journeys (high-intensity, travel and combat) and Downtime (low-intensity, rest and roleplay). In both phases, you resolve conflicts with a simple but flexible dice pool system, built around a central idea…

Wilders are both, so they can choose which of their sides to embrace when taking Tests: will you focus up, and stay true to your human side, or go wild, and unleash the monster in you?

The world of Wilderfeast is the One Land - a post-post-apocalyptic supercontinent, both familiar and fantastic, beautiful and harsh, where food is magic.

The One Land is vast, wild, and old. It’s populated by humans and monsters, extraordinary creatures who take inspiration from paleontology, cryptozoology, and works like Monster Hunter and Godzilla.

The One Land is also vulnerable. Humans, relative newcomers here, have unleashed the frenzy, an eldritch virus which makes coexistence between humanity and the creatures everyday more difficult.

The One Land is not an easy place to live. It is littered with both the bones of extinct species and the ruins of fallen civilizations. But after each apocalypse, something new and green grows from the ashes.

Wilderfeast’s system is fast, customizable and easy to learn.

All creatures, both humans and monsters, have these attributes:

When something’s at stake, you roll a Test. Every Test combines a Style with a Skill, such as a Mighty Call to intimidate a monster into backing away or a Swift Search to follow tracks in the undergrowth.

Wilderfeast has a simple but flexible dice pool system. The mechanics are built around a central idea: humans use d8s and monsters use d20s. Wilders are both human and monstrous, and they can switch between these dice sizes.

To build your dice pool, gather a number of d6s equal to your level in the Test’s Style (such as “Mighty”, “Precise”, “Swift” or Tricky”). These are called your Style Dice. Every 5+ on your Style dice grants you a Success on the Test.

Then, add your Action Dice, which determines the quality of the Success you eventually achieved. Humans use a d8 for their Action Die, while monsters use a d20. However, wilders are both. During this step, you choose which side of yourself to embrace. 

If you focus up, you stay true to your human side: add a d8 Action Die to your dice pool. This option is consistent and reliable.

If you go wild, you embrace your monster side: choose one of your Traits and describe how it helps you in this situation. Then, remove 1 Style Die and replace it with a d20 Action Die. This is risky, as it lowers your overall chance of success, but it could make your action an order of magnitude more effective. Now, roll your dice pool for a Test.

Tests create a spectrum of results beyond binary success and failure. The range of choices when making Tests also accommodates different playstyles. You can aim for big numbers, deep strategies, and tactical play. Or you can get creative and add details to the fiction.

Wilders are the ones most capable of stopping the spiral of fear and death that’s consuming the One Land. They’re not a formal order: some look like cavemen, others like wandering knights. Each is free to decide how to take on the job, but they all share some common attributes:

Each wilder has a Tool, enormous kitchen implements to produce mind-boggling amounts of food. Wilders repurposed those artifacts as weapons, though they still come in handy as cooking aids. There are 6 Tools in total (Cleaver, Pan, Mitts, Spit, Torch and Twine), and they define a wilder’s “class”: your training, disposition, and approach to being a wilder.

Each wilder has a Specialty, which corresponds to one of the monstrous lineages. Your choice of Specialty indicates your character’s expertise in both hunting and caring for members of that lineage. There are eight Specialties in total, like Roaster, Fisher, Butcher or Gardener.

Each wilder has a three-course Background. Your backstory, initiation and drive, framed through food: what meal defined your childhood? What meal made you a wilder? What meal do you crave the most?

These mutated rangers work in packs and have taken on the duty to stop the frenzy. Packs are free to decide both what harmony with nature means and how they hope to achieve it. For example, bounty-packs resemble the grizzled mercenaries of The Witcher, while free-packs evoke the wolf-raised warrior of Princess Mononoke.

As a wilder, what path will you walk?

The One Land’s ecosystems are original, but not alien. All monsters celebrate and exaggerate the features of real animals, from dinosaurs to dogs. Their supernatural abilities are grounded in the struggles they face to survive. A breath-taking variety of creatures that share this world with humans and wilders: 30+ different creatures, each with its own Traits, body Parts and Behavior that make every hunt different.

Wilderfeast features a modern and versatile style of combat that blends puzzle-solving thrills and fast-paced action strategy. Every pack of Wilders can take a different approach to the Hunt: will you split in groups and attract the monster’s fury to expose its weak spots, or will you growl at its face and go full frontal?

Each creature gains 3 Actions at the start of their turn during combat, which they can spend on the following Activities, each with a variable cost:

Combat orbits around the Monster, so you measure all distance in combat using Strides. Wilders spend combat between 0 Strides, where you’re right on top of the Monster, and 4 Strides, where you just barely register as a threat.

This number represents the distance you’re maintaining, not your static position. At all times during a hunt, you’re circling the Monster, chasing after it, or driving it toward more favorable terrain. Two wilders who are the same number of Strides from the Monster could either be right next to each other or on opposite sides of it, but that’s intentional. Moving around or with the Monster is automatic; moving towards or away from it takes effort.

The iconic meals of the wilders combine the roughness of campfire cooking with the ceremony of a holiday festival. These wilderfeasts are celebration and mourning, all wrapped up in one. During this phase, you clean, prepare, and cook the Monster where it fell, turning it into a meal that honors its legacy and gives you strength. In doing so, you learn about it. The more you know about the Monster, the better informed your decision when you choose what mutation to inherit: after you eat The Feast, choose a Style, Skill, or Trait in which the Monster has more levels than you do, or which you don’t have at all. You permanently gain a level in that Style, Skill, or Trait. 

Not every meal gives such dramatic mutations as a wilderfeast, but food is always magic in the One Land, even the most casual of snacks. Before setting out on the road, a merchant eats a meal full of hardy greens to give them the endurance for a day of travel; a guard, beginning their shift in a watchtower, chews on raptor jerky to sharpen their eyesight; a student brews tea with a night-blooming flower so they can stay up late studying. The changes caused by these meals are subtle and temporary, and they're woven into the fabric of everyday life.

When you have a cooking opportunity, such as when you Camp during your Journeys, you and your packmates can make a meal. To cook, you select Ingredients, determine how much Stamina the meal restores (typically 1 for each Ingredient used), and determine the meal’s effect, choosing among those of the Ingredients you used.

These meals can either be served fresh or saved for later and turned into Snacks (so that you can consume a portion when you need to restore Stamina or trigger other effects but you don’t have the time to stop and cook). Once you’ve cooked the meal, be sure to describe it! Tell everyone enough about the dish’s flavor, textures, or appearance that they can taste it in their head.

Wilderfeast is a letter-sized, hardcover book of 250+ pages, with full-color art throughout. It includes:

Fast and robust character creation, with 6 Tools (each with their own set of unlockable Traits), 8 Specialties, and suggestions for your three-course backstory. No matter how you build your character, you start with connections to the One Land and your fellow players.

Streamlined and accessible rules for each phase of the game.

A Bestiary with 30+ monsters, each with their own art, stats, and ecological information.

A travel guide, exploring the One Land and the Sen Coast, with detailed maps and extensive tables of cooking ingredients.

The Last Chamig, a set of four standalone scenarios also playable as an overarching campaign. These accessible and easy to set up scenarios are designed to introduce Guides and Wilders to the game system and come with full-detailed maps, stat blocks, pregenerated characters, an a set-list of events. The pitches for each chapter of The Last Chamig will be revealed over the course of the Kickstarter campaign!

Essential advice for running the game, including recommended safety tools, tips for creating your own monsters and regions, and player-empowering mechanics to help the group define the adventures they want to have. Do you want to steward the wild, get stronger, protect your community, or explore ruins from the ancient past?

==============================

Kickstarter campaign ends: Tue, September 26 2023 10:59 PM BST

Website: [Horrible Guild] [facebook] [twitter] [instagram]

[dankdungeonsrpg]

FEAR

Alien (1979)

For a hot minute I have been puzzling over Fear mechanics.

Call of Cthulhu's isn't for me, nor was Dread's. Free League's ALIEN peaked my interest though and when I was finally able to play in a game of Mothership...oh boy. With these ideas in mind I went about trying to implement one of these into your standard D&D-like.

Roll Less, Panic More

Since I had played and liked ALIEN first, this was my starting point. I liked the idea of Stress as a motivator, boosting your rolls but introducing the possibility of panic.

FYI: ALIEN is a d6 dice pool system where you're looking for 6s. Every Stress you take adds a special Stress Die to your pool. More Stress means more chances to succeed but also more chances to Panic.

What I came up with was this:

When something scary happens, gain Stress

When you make a d20 roll ALSO roll Xd6, where X = Your Stress

Take the highest d6 roll and add that value to your d20 roll

UNLESS one of those d6s came up 1, then you Panic instead

I still don't hate this idea, but once you start considering regular roll bonuses the player needs to do a bit more mental math for each roll than I would like.

Enter: Mothership

There has been a lot of fanfare over Sean McCoy's Mothership, and damn is it well deserved.

FYI: Mothership is a roll-under d% system. Stress gets tracked on a scale of 2-20. When your character rolls for Panic they are trying to get above their Stress score.

When I saw that Mothership Stress was on a d20 range I got very interested in the conversion possibilities.

Here's what I came up with:

When you fail a roll or something scary happens, gain Stress

When you make a d20 roll, IF that die comes up under your current Stress score, you Panic

Gain Stress to gain Advantage on your next roll

Here the mechanic resolution gets built into an existing roll. The player just needs to interpret two results instead of one.

"Did I succeed my roll?" and "Did I panic?"

Example: Jimmy attempts to attack a skeleton. He has accumulated 11 Stress and has a total attack bonus of +4. The Skeleton has an AC of 13. Jimmy rolls a d20 to attack and gets an 10 on the die, which would be 14 after bonus. This hits the Skeleton but it's also below his 11 Stress. As a result he hits with his attack but also has a panic attack, checking the Panic Table for whatever the 10 result is.

Gaining Advantage for Stress also gives us that "stress as a motivator" idea that the ALIEN-inspired mechanic captured by default.

A Hint of PbtA

This also introduces non-binary results into our otherwise binary system. Now the results aren't fail/succeed, they're:

Fail with Panic

Fail

Succeed with Panic

Succeed

This gives GMs some more options at the table, which I am always in favor of.

...

Anyhow, that's it. I'm going to be plopping this into my next few D&D-like sessions. Can't wait to run some Ravenloft with panic rules!

[oneweek-mkg]

“Hello, to all of those listening to this. My name is unimportant, and what is lies in what it is that I do. One week ago today, the world was met with a flurry…of cards.“ 

“Every man, woman, non-binary individual, and seemingly sentient soul upon this earth was given what we’ve elected to refer to as ‘Tarrow Cards’, with a title on the front and a single word on its back.”

“Regardless of age, your card appears to have given you a new fascinating ability, most of which the world has never seen before. The world is changing quickly, it seems. No matter your belief on the state of the world before that day, it is now impossible to deny the supernatural state of this landscape we all live within.”

“Over the past ten years, you’ve likely read about the experimental city being built over international waters in the Atlantic Ocean. In this past week, due to the abilities of certain individuals involved, we’re able to now announce the opening of said city, in one month’s time.“ 

“We will require no passports, and no qualifications for citizenship. We have food, shelter, optional employment, and anything else you may wish to find.”

“I’ve been studying these cards, and the changes humanity has gone through very carefully. And I can state now, without a shadow of a doubt…this is a change for the better.”

An announcement that all throughout the world heard. Through the radio, through the papers. You heard or read it. The world is changing. It’s for the better, then…? 

Followed by an announcement that all throughout the world heard, but none remembered.

The voice echoed throughout the world, seemingly without a source, heard both everywhere and nowhere. Somewhere within all that nowhere, this voice reached a room, lit by a single computer monitor. And in that room, something listened.

“WOW! THAT’S A LOTTA WORDS TO SAY, ‘DO NOT TRUST ME, I PROBABLY SMELL!’”

“C'MON, ‘MY NAME IS UNIMPORTANT,’ ‘NO QUALIFICATIONS FOR CITIZENSHIP,’ ‘FREE FOOD,’ LIKE HELLO? RED FLAG? THAT’S SOME MONDO SUSPICIOUS SHIT.”

“HONESTLY IF THOSE CHUDS BELIEVE THAT, THEY SHOULD GO TOUCH GRASS. I DID IT ONCE. HATED IT. BUT IT WAS GOOD FOR ME! NOW I HAVE SPECIAL EYES THAT LET ME SEE THROUGH BULLSHIT LIKE THIS.”

“… EH, I COULD USE SOME ENTERTAINMENT! MIGHT AS WELL GRAB A FRONT ROW SEAT FOR THIS SHITSHOW.”

“NOW, I JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ANYWHERE.”

“THIS MIGHT TAKE AWHILE…”

—

One Week: Brand New Life is a discord based 20+ Danganronpa OC roleplay, featuring discord submission trials and an active, plot-relevant deadzone, allowing dead characters to continue to freely interact with the living if they wish. Our cast will be exploring their recently developed powers in an ever expanding city over international waters that you yourself will help define and build. Twenty characters from across the world will get to experience a unique, extended prologue that will cover one year of in-game time, before the actual MKG begins. We aim to bring you a potentially lighter, relaxed environment, both in and out of character; while still being following the typical killing game formula.

The game will feature a flexible 4 to 5 week schedule over 5 chapters, as well as a prologue and endgame, with trials that last several days to accommodate varying timezones and schedules. Our trial system will be submission-based over discord, allowing players to submit their trial posts directly to the server’s trial channel, while still managing a flexible queue. The game will allow for supernatural, alien, robotic, and fantastical characters, as well as normal humans - although no matter your character’s initial status, everyone will be experiencing a new power set, to spread the love! The game will not feature a mistrial system, but will pledge itself into working dutifully with its murder teams to create cases that are both satisfyingly difficult, as well as ultimately solvable, without pushing cast nor killer unnecessarily far.  APPS OPEN / APPS CLOSE 3/10!

About | Hopeful | Hopefuls Discord | Mods | FAQ | Rules | Application

[mildew-mop]

Feel free to tag your gender in the reblogs just for fun. Let's see what's going on. Idk this sounds like fun to ask.

[bunny-heels]

all my blogs are finally fully backed up so.

Matt is a fucking idiot. imagine being in charge of a website that advertises itself as the gayest place on the web when in reality all you do is sulk in your office being upset and whiny because people rightfully call you out on your hypocrisy, ignorance, neglect, and blatant bigotry.

there is a literal genocide happening that's been going on for years killing innocent people. a non-binary teen was beaten to death and the killers have basically gotten off free. and this fucking dumbass decides to worry about what people are saying about him online as if he isn't sitting in a pile of money like every other jackass CEO is dong. the fact Palestine isn't one of the listed trending tags on tumblr when i see news about it every 5 posts is ridiculous.

he's just like any other rich guy. he doesn't care about the wellbeing of others, thinks only for himself, puts others down when they feel threatened, and just wants more money.

tumblr stopped being a safe place for "outcasted" people years ago, even before the porn ban. in fact, maybe it never really was for outcated people. trans, black, and disabled users have been getting put down by this site for a very long time, and its fucking disgusting. this site literally houses the largest percentage of LGBT+ and disabled users i've ever seen if we're going by the polls where literally the option of cisgender and neurotypical is always under 1%. they literally are the reason this website still exist, because they've created their circles and safe spaces for them to feel comfortable sharing their life experiences and adventures through life.

most people on this site can't go a day in their real life without some form of harassment or hardship, they don't need that transferring to their digital life. every group of people deserves their own corner for them to have fun and get away from everything for a while. if that's taken away, you are left with people who are just throwing tantrums, and the actual users who made your site usable are now out there probably doing better than you and getting more respectable support than you will with your group of crying babies.

Matt is not a 13 year old kid running a GMod DarkRP server. Matt is not a 26 year old forum mod. he is a 40 year old CEO who is the founder of a well known blog creation site. he has an extremely important and powerful position, yet he is choosing to put his own immature feelings first before thinking about the safety of his own userbase that is literally used as this sites selling point.

the fucking audacity to do this shit to your own users that you literally use for a selling point when you won't even allow for certain tags to show up in the search because you claim for them to have sexual content meanwhile other tags are full of hatred, bigotry, and downright defamation of innocent people who just happen to live different lives is fucking gross. i absolutely cannot believe society and social norms have let the minds of people in power get this fucking bad. it's almost impressive, in a tortured lab monkeys way, not in an innovated and breakthrough way.

please protect all trans users, especially trans women/trans fems. please protect black users, disabled users, all people of color users, homeless/financially struggling users, harassed users, victims of assault users, Palestinian users, jewish users, any religious users-any user that you know for a fact could be thrown away by this bullshit system any day now, protect and take care of them, and make sure they know you'll always be there no matter what.

this post will be rebloggable because i want to pass these links.

palestine related links:

arab.org

gofundmes

esims

PCRF

funds for gaza

POC related links:

BHM mutual aid

american indian college fund

black family mutual aid

trans related links:

freedom oklahoma

transformationskc

trans liberation

suggestions for more plus any corrections are appreciated. reblogging and replying to add your own links for mutual aid and donations is extremely acceptable and encouraged. i apologize if anything in this is worded incorrectly.

if this is taken down despite me being a cis straight chick, you know why.

[sandutita]

a post about nipple equality.

in the blissfully ignorant cishet-society, it makes sense to censor female-presenting nipples and let male-presenting nipples be seen. women are delicate flowers who must be protected from the predatory gazes of strange men by men. and men are strong individuals who are much safer being topless because their nipples are not nearly as vigorously sexualised. and men in general aren't as sexualised as women, since men are usually the sexualisers and women are the sexualised.

but if we hope to achieve or even strive towards a world where gender equality is prevalent, we should let go of those standards and treat all nipples equally. especially since these standards crumble to mere dust when the existence of transgender, nonbinary and intersex people is considered.

it's very easy to figure out which nipples to censor in a gender binary world. but things start to get more complicated when gender diversity comes into place. we have to come up with weird and rigid rules to figure out, for example, for how long can a transfeminine person be on HRT before she has enough breast growth for her nipples to have to become censored.

but that type of frantic rule-making for the sake of a nonsensical, sexist standard really doesn't benefit anyone except for misogynistic, transphobic cishets. the best option would be to simply free the nipple. gender isn't binary, and neither are nipples, so we would be saving ourselves a lot of trouble by simply giving everyone equal treatment.

it seems simple enough. but the world isn't simple. the people in power don't have the best interests of people in mind, especially those of minorities. remaining within the status quo is the most pleasant option. any change, especially change which benefits minorities, is undesirable. most people are cisgender and gender-conforming anyway, so why bother changing a system most people are happy with, even though it doesn't treat everyone equally?

this is why we have to fight for it. the system won't do anything in our favour unless we force their hand. i, as a young depressed artist with not much money to spare, can't do much on my own, so i just make art about nipple equality in the hopes that it changes at least one person's mind about this unfair system. (if you want to support me, you can follow my art blog @sandu7174 and reblog some of my posts. i'd greatly appreciate it ❤️🏳️‍⚧️.)

the act of censoring female-presenting nipples stems from a very old, deeply-ingrained misogynistic idea that women must cover their bodies to prevent men from being attracted to them, which is exactly why it has to change. these aren't the 1800s anymore. women aren't men's property anymore (at least not in western countries). it's time we let go of this ancient and ridiculous standard for women and let all nipples roam free.

gender equality is worth fighting for. women's rights are worth fighting for. trans rights are worth fighting for. intersex rights are worth fighting for. nipple equality is worth fighting for.

[do-you-have-a-flag]

upon finally rewatching the third matrix film what bothers me the most isn’t any of the general flaws so much as the thematic choice to lean sooooo heavily into messianic imagery and language with Neo

like sure he was always “the one” but a part of that whole thing got sort played around with the concept of determinism vs free will and rigid structures of control versus faith and evolution and rebellion of the human spirit and binary thinking versus an almost technological transcendentalism, like there’s been a lot said about it because it is a fun sort of sandbox of concepts set up early on and explored throughout

but while i do like the blurring between machine and program and mankind, the co-operation and peace through a common threat of essentially complete existential erasure, ect.... opening the franchise with a cyberpunk anarchic attitude against invisible systems of control and then ending it with the kind of specificity of religious language that draws from what has historically also been a system of control is maybe the least interesting option

and it’s interesting cause it’s not like spirituality isn’t present in the franchise as a whole or that religious symbolism doesn’t make aesthetic sense to utilise. but it felt so messy in the third film compared to other elements and i feel like i should read up more on the production history because while i don’t mind inconsistencies in a series i at least expect the vibe to be consistent.

[hiiragi7]

Hey there! I was reading through your blog and Im really interested in your perspective. I was wondering if you have thoughts on intersexism and race.

Obviously, even inside black communities some afabs, as an example, fall outside of the sex binary and would therefore be intersex. However, outside of these communities, (and sometimes within them, he's) people of color with otherwise perisex bodies (that might not be the right way to phrase that, forgive me) can be socially removed from their sex because of their bodies, a great example is of Black women in the Olympics.

You've defined being intersex, though correct me if I'm misrepresenting you, as some combination between identity, and physical traits/symptoms. What would you think about how this applies racially? Would these women be intersex in one space and not in another (perception of both gender and sex can be cultural so I could see this) or would you consider this an example of an intersectional experience where identity isn't considered by those wielding discrimination? Or maybe that distinction doesn't matter? Would love to hear your thoughts

I think it's complicated.

Heads up that I am from the US, so this post is likely to be very based around US race politics.

I do believe that sexual norms and characteristics can vary a lot between racial and ethnic groups, and how someone identifies should ultimately be up to them. It's up to each individual to decide for themselves how their cultural, racial, and ethnic background and identity affect their sexual identity.

I think that there is no worldwide agreement as to what sex characteristics are within the binary and what falls outside of it, and in many places such as the US, our understanding of the sex binary is very based around white beauty standards.

I do also feel though that a lot of people are underdiagnosed when it comes to intersex variations because of racial stereotypes - Black & brown intersex women immediately come to mind to me, because racial stereotypes about black & brown women being inherently more "masculine" than a white woman are a strong example of this. If you present to a doctor with hirsuitism or other hyperandrogenic symptoms and are a black or brown person, you're less likely to be taken seriously than a white person with the same symptoms.

Combined racism and intersexism, in general, I believe leads to less non-white people being diagnosed or accessing safe treatment options (if needed). There tends to be racial stereotypes, enforced poverty (due to systemic racism), and racial-based medical abuse to navigate.

A lot of families may also brush off or discourage intersex family members from seeing a doctor, even if they have serious pathological symptoms that would be eased with treatment, due to familial or cultural norms. Especially when a lot of intersex variations are genetic, it's common for family members to say "Well, I went through that and so did your grandmother, so it's just normal for our family."

Overall, it's a complicated topic. Other people are free to add on to this post with more thoughts, as well.

[the-elf-barbarian]

*sits down at your table uninvited* and so like yeah the queer reading - yes they're both queer, this is demon/angel “hereditary enemies” second layer queer.

Aziraphale represents the Respectable Gay(TM) and Crowley, the Scary Queer(TM) no I will not elaborahahaha who am I kidding I haven't been able to stop elaborating for the past week

I'm gonna focus on how it ties into the final scene, where Aziraphale and Crowley argue about Aziraphale’s decision to return to heaven.

Aziraphale sees Crowley’s goodness and is convinced Crowley’s goodness is evidence that he should be an angel. Aziraphale is so focussed on their chance to be safe from/in Heaven (to even, potentially if he plays his cards right, make reforms) that he seems blind to the rest of each of their natures - to the parts of Crowley (and to a lesser degree, himself) that would have to be carved off to fit him into the constraints of an only slightly less restrictive model of angel.

Conversely, in suggesting Alpha Centauri, Crowley proposes cutting themselves off from the world they loved so much - from bookshops, boozy brunches, the Bentley - to be free from Heaven and Hell's interefence. But he doesn’t really propose a solution to the issue at hand - at this point, we’re aware of The Book of Life and remote memory wipes - we are aware Hell doesn’t have the resources, but are we really to believe that the closest star to earth is beyond Heaven’s reach? Fleeing guarantees isolation, nothing else. 

To take this up to allegory now:

Authors note: Please understand I say this next bit from a perspective of queerness myself

Aziraphale is a nice respectable gay. The Respectable Gay is not some scary creature - he's an angel, and love is an angelic tendency… surely he shouldn’t be in trouble just because he loves the "wrong" gender? This ties into the common refrain during the push for marriage reform “We are just like you! We just want to marry our loved ones, just like you get to!”. And, from the perspective of the recent wave of marriage reform, he is finally being invited back to the in-crowd. And he wants that so much! 

Not just because it feels nice and comfortable but because he wants to work within the system (that until so recently had treated him so poorly) because he desperately wants to do good and sees this as the way to affect change. 

Crowley is the scary queer™. He's non-binary, he cross dresses, he knows he does not fit in polite society ("unforgivable, that's what I am"). Sure, the Scary Queer protested for marriage reform, but what they need is - trans medical rights, protections for multiple primary partners, preferably the abolishment of gendered language etc etc. They don’t want to be tacked onto an updated version of the same toxic system. The whole thing is broken, from the second She created Adam and Eve (the original sin cishet monogamous couple). 

They see no way forward, the task is just too large. The best option the Scary Queer sees is separation - a classic lesbian commune in the woods Alpha Centauri.

They are both doomed to fail. 

Assimilation demands conformance - and we can never work from within the majority to shuffle the goalposts enough to avoid failing those with the most radical identity/expression. 

Separation demands giving up everything else you love in pursuit of freedom that will never truly exist. This is a longer discussion but simply by existing on Earth, we are affected by the others on earth (by, say, the effects of global warming or in seeking medical treatment for a heart attack). 

And, more to the point, it only protects those with the means to remove themselves from the society (the people who by their very definition, have the means to support others in the community) - ensuring a worse outcome for all but themselves (e.g. the next Gabriel/Beelzebub, whoever they currently are).

At a society level, their argument is that same as the one between the assimilationist "we're just the same as you!" gays vs the separatist “lesbian commune” queers. At a more personal level, it's the line we all have to draw and redraw somewhere between Safety and Freedom of Expression.

So, to sum up why episode six made me absolutely feral: I am Aziraphale and I am Crowley, and I cannot stop fighting.

[tiredassmage]

2, 3, 4, 5, 18 (if your OC was an NPC) for Alucren (and free pass to talk about other OCs if you want :D)

crawls out of the abyss. I said one day, one day I'll work through some of my backlog, slowly. so. I'm gonna finally attempt to wrestle with this one, lol.

[oc as nps]

hands u new alucren screenshot as collateral for takin so heckin' long kladnflkadsfl

2) Would they be a class specific character? & 3) When would you recruit them?

Stabbing at both of these because I think the answer feels cleanest when I tackle it together. For all the time I've left this stewing at the back of my brain, I have yet, at least, to come up with an idea that gave me a strong opinion on class specific, but I do figure Alucren for being the type to only hang around fellow Imperials in the long-term. And that... inclines me towards saying he's a latecomer as far as an NPC, particularly a recruitable one.

And to take the excuse to ramble a bit about characters for that (and we'll go ahead and use that as a cut queue, too):

He's... stubborn, is the simplest way to say it. Raised in the Imperial system and deeply strict about his adherence to it, to go a bit further into it. And it's really not until Fallen Empire and Eternal Throne, where the entire order of the galaxy is sort of challenged by the presence of Zakuul as a major third power, that Alucren really... isn't given any other option but to face his own music and reflection in the mirror and actually... do a bit of reflection and reckoning with it. It's a little a lot maybe to dig into without also digging out a pegboard and some string to explain different versions of events with other ocs and characters and all that to explain, but the short version is, essentially, even though Alucren ultimately gets to a place where he's more comfortable in a scenario like the Alliance and willing to have those sort of cross-faction relationships despite differences in opinion and all that, it requires... a lot of self-realization first that Alucren's... really slow with and frankly pretty uncertain about, which I think I'm gonna pick back up on again for 18, so stay tuned, but.

Again, attempt to do a long thing short, he comes around a bit better to change, but it doesn't change his sense of place. His home is the Empire, and Alucren's core values... really boil down to family, and his concept of duty and honor in... sometimes a bit of a nebulous, conflicting order despite his performances and gnashing teeth to the contrary and that... means he won't leave. Any partnership sort of outside of that typical binary isn't meant to be long-term to him. He's... really not sure how to mentally explain it to himself, let alone justify prioritizing it over what he's built his life on, quite frankly, but don't tell him I told you.

4) Where would you recruit them from? & 5) What would their recruitment mission be?

Okay, so this part might have been the one that gave me the most trouble from this list (probably because it's hard for me to separate them, again >.> lol). I think the most interesting options for his recruitment would probably involve a few creative liberties with how things go in-game. Not to get too double-dipping ahead of myself, but his role is... a little difficult to define because he's not... in one that particularly. fits him. Just because he served as a Cipher doesn't mean he was ever an ideal fit for the role. But it was where he was needed - at least to be a body in a role, to fill a gap or what have you, and Alucren's raising and training requires of him to serve where he is needed by his Empire.

It's fairly likely he arguably remained in some sort of capacity with Sith Intelligence through its incarnations over the events of Ziost and into the events of KOTXX, so one of my thoughts as far as earliest appearance was maybe on Iokath as far as substantial interactions go, but... now that I've mentioned Ziost, it's possible he could've made at least a brief appearance or mention as one of the holdover assets from Imperial Intelligence. I do think he spent probably a fair amount of time working closer to home, so to speak, in between vanilla and more recent content, left to his own devices though...

Anyway, the other consideration that comes to mind is something a lot more recent - maybe tied somehow into events with Elom and Legacy of the Sith. I do think Alucren's... let's say... brand of loyalty was arguably liable to get him into something like hot water with one Sith lord or another sooner or later even if we take out the elements of him that have become so interesting to contemplate when he's around the events of Cipher Nine and Darth Jadus, so it's possible that kind of experience or that kind of relationship and owed loyalties would put him in play as an agent potentially acting on the behalf of a specific benefactor maybe even in addition to his interests as a loyal Imperial operative. His previous roles with more diplomatic and expansion roles prior to his experience as a Cipher may actually make him quite interesting to introduce as an agent for Darth Xarion's interest in the Alliance. As for the nature of that interest, is he possibly there to investigate for anyone suspiciously against the Empire's interests..? Maybe so. Or if the Commander is in more full cooperation with the Empire, he is surely there to simply facilitate a better relationship between merging parties. And help with security risks.

Certainly. Right?

In either case, it's likely less that he has a specific mission which you have to recruit him in so much that he is... introduced during one of the group cutscenes and maybe has a one-on-one interaction with the Commander after where he explains more of his role and offers his services on behalf of his superiors. Think a bit more functionally sort of how Anri and Tau have been so far, though possibly as a bit more permanent resident of the Alliance base with a posting for this particular engagement.

18) If they are recruitable in vanilla story, where are they during KOTFE/KOTET? What are/were they doing?

So, I did say I would push off his involvement, but that doesn't mean I don't have thoughts about this, lol. Some of this comes up a bit in the piece I wrote for him and Taizi (blorbo from friend's brain @hyrohkaah fame) reuniting actually during KOTFE, but I also wanna steal the opportunity to speak a bit more generally about one of the, like, catnip pieces about Alucren, to me.

And it's that Alucren is... afraid. Despite appearances, despite the kind of proud stallion act about him, a lot of it is... uncertainties and fears. And one of the interesting contrasts between him and Tyr because I love making contrasts between them - it is how I started Alucren, after all. To take things that were so integral to Tyr and... wonder what kind of character I'd have if I flipped his core values.

So, Tyr is... Tyr is so fucking ride or die. To a godsdamned fault. Quite possibly to the detriment of his own health. You'll see it in his loyalties, his justifications, the way he wears his service with Imperial Intelligence still as a badge of honor because his loyalty was to people like Keeper and Shara. Tyr doesn't give up on them because he never feels they give up on him. When Tyr says, Imperial Intelligence never betrayed me. He believes it. In the ways that matter, he believes they haven't. Keeper didn't. Shara didn't. Ardun Kothe, even, he... doesn't hold a grudge with - hell, even respects, still - because of this kind of loyalty. And Tyr... doesn't exactly have a lot of people on that kind of list. He doesn't have a lot to lose, and what little he does have is worth giving everything, to him, to fight for. He's willing to burn himself at both ends for that, to keep deconstructing himself and bending his own boundaries so someone else doesn't have to. Tyr's grounded by people that are close to him, but he's also... an idealist. As much as he doesn't realize it. He's someone capable of striving for ideals.

And... the short way to sort of say of Alucren is that... that isn't... him. Ideals and big overarching pictures just don't have as much sway on him. I've already said he's loyal. Both of them have areas where they are stubbornly loyal. And Alucren and Tyr butt heads sometimes because those areas don't always overlap.

Alucren has three older sisters that were and are dearly important to him. He grew up very close with them. Family, as was already mentioned, right? And... he has a strong sense of duty. He has a strong sense of how he was raised, and what he should value based on that experience, that more fairly-off background with a successful Imperial lineage as his backing. Change is... a lot bigger to him. He's a lot more likely to balk at it. It's... intimidating. Alucren isn't... an agent of change, in that sense, where Tyr is. Tyr is... a lot more ready to jump in because Tyr doesn't have that sense of place to lose. Alucren still has an attachment to an identity that existed before his role as a Cipher. He's got things and people that he's... not ready to lose.

Which is all just... a lot of build up to say Alucren's not the first person that would've been looking for the Outlander. Even if they had been close. When the Empire, when his superiors, say they're dead, when the threat of Zakuul is already so close as to have been the attack on Korriban, that attacks on Dromund Kaas, the blockades, all the other tensions implied during the five year period the Outlander is in carbonite... Alucren goes back to Dromund Kaas. He goes back, at least on paper, to be closer with his sisters, to keep them safe. Because he has a duty or responsibility or however else he decides to dress it up on that particular day to protect the Empire, to protect home.

But it's also... because a lot is changing. Zakuul is... upending a lot of what he knew. A lot of that sense of place, a lot of that identity he clung to in his loyalties.

And it's not just "former" Republic personnel being involved that make him hesitate to join something like the Alliance. He very likely wouldn't join the Alliance at all unless someone he knew and cared for was there and had a strong enough conviction in its need to exist and its purpose to argue for him to join them. (Tyr, for example, to go back to the fic, really only gets him there because its Taizi. And Tyr very nearly doesn't manage it. Because Tyr and Alucren have different values and Tyr argues from his understanding of his own. But... for as much as Tyr and Alucren have going on as a pair directly, Tyr's... Tyr would have a hard time convincing him to show up, based on their own relationship. If that was all they working on, but I'm. getting off-topic.)

ANWAY. THAT is all just. a long-winded way to explain that he's back on Dromund Kaas during probably a fair portion of the five year gap and at least the early parts of KOTFE. He might have had some few assignments to take him out to investigate any Republic process during that time, but he asked in his reassignment to stay closer to be with his sisters. And a lot of that time is... him trying to stick to those core three values and... also figure out what they're going to look like in a galaxy that's changing because of Zakuul's presence. Having to grapple with the real implications of his loyalties and his values and what's it all really mean, is this truly important to him, how much of it is all a mask..? All those kind of questions he never really gave himself time to sit with in the thick of a career in Intelligence. Some of it gets reaffirmed, some of it involves some realizations on areas to maybe be more open to change, if not... get ready to actually make those changes...

Which... wow, turned into a whole ramble uhm. >.> Ahhem. I give him a lot of shit for being my fucked up lil guy who is a lil like a bag of marbles dropped across the floor, but he is... he is also just. sometimes my soggy cardboard box guy. And he does some growth in there. Just a lil bit though don't inflate his ego too much.