#fuck rowling and everything she stands for

[naomiknight-17]

So hubby and I used to be big Potterheads. We have the whole original series and the guide to magical beasts or whatever

They're just sitting on my shelf and I feel uncomfortable whenever I look at them. I want them gone

But what do I do with them? Throw them away? Donate them? That feels wrong, I don't want to spread her shit. But then, if someone got them second hand they wouldn't be giving her more money? But it would still be spreading her garbage. Should I sell them on eBay to some asshole collector for an inflated price? That doesn't feel good either

Should I just fucking burn them

Maybe we'll just throw them in the garage until I can make a decision, I don't know. I just don't want them on my shelf any more

[spaghetti-aldente]

Attacks for @mrtheninja (on AF) and @somerandomuseryoudontknow !

[missmeinyourbones]

i thought you were better than this :((

what is this in reference to??? :(

[blondwhxrewrites]

what about mattheo with a werewolf s/o? Like imagine being like all worked up and horny before a full moon and having angry pre-transformation sex with him

(I’m actually in love with this man)

You tell him your a werewolf, and the first thing he asks is, 'So does that mean we are like considered as mates or some shit?'

By the way he already knew, because my boy is EXTREMELY observant. He just never told you because he wanted you to be ready to tell him. When he figured it out he immediately sat his ass down at the library and read every single book on werewolves he could find.

He's doing everything he can to support you

He isn't at all afraid of you and dude would square up with werewolf you with no hesitation because he has no sense of self preservation

(also I'm adding my own werewolf system because fuck JK Rowling imma do this my own way 😤)

He finds out that werewolves won't hurt the people that they consider 'mates' or a part of their 'pack', and he is taking full advantage of that. 

He sees your werewolf form for the first time and it's literally just a giant wolf and he's standing there like 🧍while you're just wagging your tail all happy because OH MY GOD ITS YOUR MATE 🥰

You have a little spot in the dark forest where you transform and he'll come and visit you.

You bring him the corpses of the animals you hunt and he'll just awkwardly pat your head, and praise your hunting skills

https://pin.it/fEKdLztSL

(this link is an accurate representation of what werewolves look like because ain't no way am I gonna let them be that ugly shit from the prisoner of Azkaban)

You get extremely clingy and possessive the days before a full moon. It's not just towards Mattheo, it's towards your friends too because your senses see them as your 'pack' and you gotta protect them and make sure they are okay

You literally growl at people

Person: GET YOUR FUCKING DOG BITCH

Mattheo: She don't bite

You: *Growls*

Person: YES SHE DO

You also get extremely horny and Mattheo lives for it

You wanna fuck? Mattheo is down and ready to be used 🫡

He is your man slut

You get aggressive during the act and end up biting him on the neck and shoulders and he is wearing those marks proudly. He's strutting around Hogwarts proudly marked as yours 💅

During those days before the full moon, he will be your subby little manwhore

Anything for his princess 🤷

You wanna suck his dick and call him a good boy? He's melting into a puddle of goo. He becomes all blushy and shy because he loves being praised 🤭

Eating your pussy like a man starved.

Please sit on his face and suffocate him (:

You wanna ride him? Bros staring at you in awe while he watches your ass bounce up and down on his cock in reverse cowboy.

My boy is just along for the ride 😁

[elusivesloth]

|•Pairing: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy•|

|•Chapters: 3/?•|

|•Genre: Romance/Political Drama•|

|•Angst/Enemies to Lovers/Forced Proximity/Wizarding Politics/Hurt/Comfort/Slowest of the slowburns•|

•Summary: Hermione Granger has faced numerous closed doors. Such is the consequence of attempting to do good; people, driven by personal interests, will obstruct your path. Hermione is well aware of this reality, yet, in her stubbornness, she persists in believing that she can make a difference single-handedly. However, there are times when sheer determination falls short.

Cornered, she will reluctantly form an alliance with the last person she would have ever considered collaborating with for the greater good.•

|•Extract from this chapter:|•

She hadn't recognized him by his voice. It was deeper, more authoritative, and detached—a far cry from the shrillness of his adolescent years. His features had hardened, each line etched with sharpness: thin lips, elongated eyes, a slender nose, and a chiseled jawline. Even his attire exuded rigidity and repulsiveness—all dark colors, if not outright black, a departure from the vibrant hues typical of wizarding fashion. But perhaps that was precisely his intention—to stand out or distance himself from the crowd.

She was partly taken aback by the extent of change in just 10 years.

However, not even time could perform miracles. Certain details and habits remained etched and unchanging. She recognized him by his hair. Blond, almost white, they shimmered under the sunlight streaming through the blinds, giving him an almost forbidden, Luciferian aura. She almost chided herself for observing him with such fascination.

His eyes, too, held a familiar storm within them. In an instant, she saw the tormented young wizard of her sixth year at Hogwarts, burdened by the weight of his actions.

But what sealed her hesitation from completing the sentence was the intensity of his gaze.

Draco Malfoy stood before her, surveying her from head to toe—and beneath the cold exterior, she sensed a deep contempt. The subtle curl of his lips. The arched eyebrows.

Draco fucking Malfoy was confronting her, and Hermione Granger suddenly felt like the schoolgirl in uniform, tears welling in her eyes after yet another insult about everything that defined her—her hair, her teeth, her lineage.

She waited for it, as if it were inevitable.

Mudblood.

Art done by me!

[expectopatronum18]

Hot take on Lily's characterization in this fandom

Ik I've written abt this before but I really cannot understand y this fandom insists on limiting lily's characterization to being good and right all the time and making the narrative sympathetic towards her even when she isn't coz ppl don't want haters for her. And this makes sense coming from the new marauders fandom coz they see all of their favs as incapable of being wrong. But I can't understand y the traditional marauders fandom acts this way too coz they tout themselves as being oh so progressive, but they write lily exactly the way rowling wrote her but in a different sense

Rowling wrote all the women in the franchise with the lens of what she sees as an 'ideal woman', but imo lily gets hit by this the most. She exists to further the narratives of other, more important characters, everything we ever hear abt her r positive attributes (harry goes thru tht phase in ootp where he realizes tht his father whom he looked up to so much was a flawed person, for whatever reason his mother is exempted from this), and the highlight of her life was dying for her son(despite the fact tht james did the same and we do know quite a bit abt him).

The conventional view of women has progressed beyond this now, but i d argue tht the underlying issue hasn't been resolved. I get tht fandom is a space for relaxation and fun, but then y do ppl hv a problem with lily being a tad bit flawed in a bad way when the boys r literally out there murdering each other and becoming fascists? The fandom sees her with the modern lens of what an ideal woman is(intentionally or unintentionally)- she's a perfect sjw who starts off with all the right values and has nothing to learn and grow from- she's an ideal feminist, she's always understanding, sympathetic and accepting, she accepts remus instantly, she's the moral voice in the marauders vs snape debate, she always stands up for the underdog, she doesn't let societal prejudices influence her views and waver her morals, etc etc. And while these r undoubtedly very fine qualities to hv, thts not how things work. Ur not being progressive by writing a woman who has no growing and learning to do like a normal person, and who's never allowed to be wrong in a way tht hurts others without making her sympathetic

Let lily be a catty bitch in a way tht can be interpreted as 'cheeky and vivacious' from an outsider's pov. Let lily not hv any proper female friends because she was a popular, well liked girl in high school who wasn't really a girl's girl. Let her be hated by ppl for reasons outside being a muggleborn and being friends with snape. Let her be friendless coz she's just a bad friend, she literally almost smiled when her best friend was being assaulted. Let her be homophobic coz it was the 70s and her social circle consisted of ppl lyk teenage snape and petunia. Let her not be accepting of remus immediately coz the whole ww was prejudiced against werewolves and she's new to it. There r infinite possibilities and none of them need to take away her good aspects in canon, much lyk they don't with the boys

LET HER BE FLAWED AND COMPLICATED AND CONTRAVESIAL COZ WHO CARES, SHE'S NOT FUCKING REAL

[actualadvocacybruh]

Rowling is being sued by the cis athlete she slandered

Explains why she stopped her screeching on twitter and went fucking dead silent

That being said it’s not exactly a hard case to prove given Rowling was actively pushing a narrative that was provably false in an effort to slander and defame Imane Khelif mostly due to racism as let’s be honest a rich white colonizer like Rowling just can’t stand to see a PoC beat a HWITE person

It also shows that these rad fem losers don’t actually care about women and it’s just a psycho crusade to screech and cry at everyone and everything they get triggered over

If they truly have a fuck they would be celebrating a woman from a highly patriarchal and misogynistic nation busted her ass and overcame actual oppression to win a gold medal in a sport that is seen as traditionally masculine and “not fitting for the fairer sex”

[starchaseriseverything]

James has planned Lily', Remus', Emma', and Pandora's birthdays, and he even has his other friends' birthdays all planned out months in advance. But that's not the point. When James woke up the morning of his birthday, no one was there to greet him like last year. Then, again, Peter, Remus, and Sirius aren't morning people.

Yeah, that's it. They're just not morning people and don't want to get up that early. They'll tell him happy birthday when they wake up.

They did not unfact tell him happy birthday when they woke up. They even went to breakfast and nothing. The girls didn't even remember.

Today, James was supposed to go to meet Regulus at the Astronomy Tower, but he wasn't feeling it today, so he decided to go to the Slytherin common room.

He just got in there when someone jumped on his back. "Happy Birthday, Jamie!" He hears his best friend say.

"Marls," James says, laughing. "What are you doing?"

"Your surprise isn't ready yet."

"What surprise?"

"For your birthday?"

"What?"

She jumps back off his back and walks in front of him. "Did Sirius not remember?"

"No one did, Marls."

"That's not true."

"Yeah, it is. Sirius, Remus, Peter, they didn't remember. Mary, Lily, and Alice didn't either. I thought you didn't."

"Oh, Jamie. Well, we remembered. Me, Cas, Dora, Ev, Bee, Em, Lin, Reg. We did."

"It's fine. I don't need anything. Can you tell Reg I won't be up at the Astronomy Tower tonight? Thanks. Love you." James didn't even wait for Marlene' reply before walking out.

He went straight to his dorm to grab his broom before walking back out to the Quidditch pitch. He was practicing for at least an hour before someone flies up to him.

"James," he hears his boyfriend say.

"What's up, Reg?" James replies with a big fake smile.

"James,"

"What?"

"Marlene told me."

"That I don't have time to go see you tonight?"

"No, well, yes, but something else, too."

"What?"

Regulus sighs. "That no one remembered your birthday."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not."

"I'm fine, Reg."

"No, you're not. Now stop lying. It's not healthy."

"I lie every day!"

"James,"

James doesn't answer him and just flies down to the ground before walking back up to the castle. Dorcas is already there waiting. She stands up when she sees him.

"Hey, James. Ready for your party?"

"No, I'd rather not. Thanks anyway, Cas. Have fun, though."

Dorcas' eyebrows furrow before James walks past her and in the castle.

After his shower, he goes back to the common room just to sit and relax, and not even ten minutes after he sat down, Emmeline comes in going straight for him.

"I'm not in the mood, Lin."

"Dorcas is sad because she spent all day planning this party for you, and you're not even there. Now what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, ok?"

"No, there's something clearly wrong with you. You won't even come to your own party."

"I'm just not in the mood."

"You blew off your own boyfriend, James."

"You really want to know?"

"Yes!"

"My own friends forgot my own birthday! Do you think I want to celebrate that!? No, I don't, Lin! That's why I'm sitting here <alone> in my own common room on my birthday! Because no one remembered but you!"

"James,"

"No, don't start. Please. I'm fine."

"That did not seem like you're fine."

"I promise. Just go back and have fun."

"Will you at least come for Dora?"

James sighs. "Why do you have to do that to me?"

Emmeline smiles. "Because I know you can't say no to her."

"Fine."

"Yay!" Emmeline grabs James by the hands and pulls him up off the couch and out the portrait hole. Emmeline yells, "Birthday boy is here!" As soon as they get to the Slytherin common room.

Pandora come bounding up, smiling. "Hi, James."

"Hey, Panda."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Well, Dorcas and I planned everything so, I hope you like it."

"Of course I will, Dora. You're the best."

She smiles even wider. He can't lie, James did have fun. He got to spend time with his friends and his best friend and even got some gifts from them. Even though some of his friends forgot his birthday, he still loved it.

So, when James was just sitting in the common room with Sirius, Remus, Peter, Mary, Lily, Alice, and Frank after the party, he didn't expect anyone to come in. Instead, Emma, Emmeline, Dorcas, Pandora, Evan, Barty, Marlene, and Regulus came in the common room marching straight for them.

"Sirius Orion Black!" Sirius' eyes go wide as soon as Marlene said it.

"What'd I do?"

"Do you know what day it is today?"

"I don't know. Why are they here?"

"Not important. Think real hard."

"Why? What'd I do?"

"You all did something." Emma speaks up.

"Em,"

"Shut it, James."

"Did he -"

"Think hard, Black."

"Why am I Black, and he's James?"

"Think." Emmeline says. "What day is it at the end of the month. What important event is there?"

"I don't know!"

"It's called a birthday!" Evan yells.

"Remus' birthday!?"

"That's already passed, dipshit." Barty remarks.

"I don't know!"

"It's James!" Dorcas yells in return. "It was James' birthday today!"

"What?"

Marlene grabs James by the arms and pulls him up. "Hey! I was comfy."

"Too bad."

"How would you even know that?"

Pandora looks at Regulus expectedly. James looks at them confused in return.

Regulus sighs. "Because he's my boyfriend, Sirius."

"Yeah, we all knew Crouch was your boyfriend. What's new?"

Barty looks shocked at Sirius. "What?"

"We all knew, Crouch."

"We are not dating."

Remus looks between all of them together. Remus' mouth falls open in shock. "Sirius, I think they mean James and Regulus are dating."

"I - why - um - what?"

Barty laughs. "Funniest reaction ever."

"What!? You're dating my baby brother!?"

"Scream it from the rooftops, will ya?" Emma says.

"James, I'm sorry." Lily says, standing up with Mary.

"Yeah, really sorry, James." Alice says.

"Shut up." Pandora remarks.

Everyone whips their head at her. "Did she just -?"

"I think she did."

"Nice one, sis."

"I didn't know she could do that."

"Me either."

"Come on, James." Marlene says, dragging him back out the portrait hole.

"Where are we going?"

"We're staying in the Slytherin dorms tonight."

"Prongs!"

"Shut the fuck up."

[pomegrnteseed]

it's all political, babe

people use the phrase 'we live in a society' a lot, but i'm going to use it here too; fandom is not removed from the society we live in. fandom is a reflection of the society, because it is members of society that make up fandom. just like the internet is not unbiased because people built it and people use it, fandom is not unbiased because people create within it.

you may not wish to interrogate your biases, your beliefs, your ideologies, your opinions while engaging with fandom, but that does not mean that those things are not working subconsciously or overtly in the choices you make when you read fics or enjoy artwork.

dhr is especially political. i said it in a tweet the other day, but draco lucius malfoy was the child of supremacists, raised to espouse fascist ideology. he was radicalised, he was a child soldier, he was groomed. for draco fans to claim that they engage apolitically is nonsense. i hate most everything joanne rowling stands for, but she was writing a book about fascism that was (riddled with problematic ideas and language, but) an accessible route for younger readers to understand the realities of supremacist notions of heritage and ethno-centric belonging. in other words, voldemort and his followers' obsession with parentage, with blood, with purity - it's the same thing hitler and the nazis were obsessed with. and their methods were the same too - ostracise, eradicate, overpower. sound familiar?

to divorce yourself so wholly from the reality of israel's ongoing genocide in palestine is to side with the oppressor. genocide relies on complicity via silence - to say nothing is to suggest it's okay. to argue that x isn't political or y isn't that deep is to fundamentally, forcefully turn away. you need to stop flinching. wokeness isn't a fun term to bandy around, it comes from Black american activism - it's time to wake up to the reality of the situation.

dhr fandom will remain political because it was based in a universe of politics. it catalogued the catastrophic outcomes of weak governments (cornelius fudge may you burn in hell), of fascist leaders (fuck you a million times over umbridge), of apathetic masses, of complicit media, of the power of public perception. it's far from the best example of these things where fictitious representations are concerned, but these things are literally woven into the entire narrative of the harry potter series. to say you don't want to see it is to contort your logic so brutally that i cannot in good faith see anything but wilful ignorance and a whole lot of internalised discomfort.

it's okay to not feel good about the things you like reading. it's okay to recognise that fiction is a fantasy land for paper dolls to smash. but it's not okay to pretend that these fantasy worlds are not founded in realities, are not reflected in the geopolitical status of the world now and historically. it's not okay to decide it's not for you because fascism affects us all. the state of the us, the uk, and europe in particular is fucking terrifying. read the news - far right ideologies are gaining more than 10% of the public vote at elections. fascism means ultranationalism (hatred of imagined Outsiders), suppression of opposition, dictatorship, militarised governance. it's literally happening around us. we are living it. and that's terrifying. it's natural to be scared. to want to flinch. to want to escape and pretend.

but you can't escape into dhr fandom and pretend that those exact same things aren't the lifeblood of dlm's backstory. that's a dissonance you cannot afford to grow.

if you look at some of the most read dhr fics: Manacled; The Auction; Secrets and Masks; From Wiltshire, With Love - they deal with the politics of war, of fascist ideology, of violence. The are also love stories, they are stories of hope, they are detailed depictions of how much we lose in the fight against hate.

we cannot have our cake and eat it too. we cannot say we are not getting involved in discussions of genocide that affect us all, because these discussions determine the world order. while we remain silent, we allow our governments to pretend their inaction is the will of the people. while we're silent, we give them a scapegoat; us. we cannot sit idly by and wait for someone else to come along. isn't that one of the characteristics we love most about hermione jean granger? her endless capacity for love (not mushy love, but active, hard-won love that forces people to keep going, that moves mountains with its sheer strength). hjg is a beacon for a lot of us in that way, never stopping after the war with her fights for the rights of all creatures, critters and magical folk. she's righteous. she's horrified by injustice. and if we say we love her, the idea of her, this pervasive fanon notion of her unrelenting fight for a better world, how can we not be moved into acting the same way? how can we read the works of others who have clearly noticed the themes and used this fandom as a vehicle for exploring the nature of fascism, the kernel of undying hope, and still refuse to acknowledge the realities these stories draw on and reflect?

i don't think we can in good faith.

living in a world embroiled in war, fascism, power struggles is exhausting. and we do come to fandom to escape. but we also come to fandom to share and learn and collectively despair and hope. we can't have nice things while we peddle the lie that fandom is apolitical, because it does those who gift us their hearts and souls in fics and fanart a huge disservice. it's not just paper dolls doing horny things. it's not just a romance story for the ages. it's real lives and real fears and real stakes. please treat it as such.

[psi0nics]

Spider-Gwen is Very Likely Trans in Across the Spider-Verse, says One More Person

But this shit matters.

I've rewatched Across the Spider-Verse for probably the eighth time recently, and it continues to be blaringly obvious to me that Gwen is most likely a trans girl. I'm most certainly not the only one to have pointed this out, and I don't really think I'm adding anything new. But we need as many voices to speak up, I feel, and I might as well share what I think of it. Now, this little essay is going to focus mainly from the movie's material alone since I'm not much of a comic reader, and it'll be limited to my own experience as a Filipino trans girl who really wants to express some thoughts.

Spoilers ahead!

Across the Spider-Verse explores the journey of Miles Morales after the first film, Into the Spider-Verse, where he rises up to the mantle of Spider-Man. Now, we follow him as he fights to be recognized as Spider-Man by the rest of Spider-Society, who reject him for factors out of his control—and yet he made the best of them, took pride in them, and rose up to become Spider-Man in all the ways that matter. Unfortunately, the exact circumstances, Spider-Society doesn't like—represented by Miguel O'Hara. From all that I've heard and read, a lot of Miles's story strongly being a very Black story, drawing from Miles being Afro-Latino, and though the story itself never shows racism nor do the different universes explicitly show systemic discrimination and whatnot, his story still clearly draws from that. Miguel O'Hara isn't some racist white dude excluding Miles because he's Afro-Latino, Miguel is an Irish-Mexican man and the entire theme of the Spider-Society is that it is extremely diverse and open. But that doesn't mean that the institution that it represents in the context of literally everything Rio Morales, Miles's Mother, tells him. To remember where he's from, to not let those big institutions tell Miles that he doesn't belong there, and all these things that are brimming with subtext.

The subtext is there, and it's all intentional.

Then there's Gwen Stacy. Who, for her entire arc of the film, hinges on a relationship setup from the beginning—her father, George Stacy. Now, for a lot of trans people, including me, we found it striking that that arc felt pretty queer-coded. Now, by itself, there's nothing much to be gleaned, just Gwen struggling with the fact that she's forced to reveal her superhero identity to her dad in a tense moment, ripping them apart, and later reconciling. Now, I'm quite young for a queer person, but I'm aware of the history of all these subtle things or narratives about identity being all that queer people had in the mainstream for a very, very long time.

But these days, we celebrate every win, for every explicitly queer character, for every confirmation from creators where they couldn't explicitly show anything in the material (except for Rowling bullshit, fuck that fake shit), and every hold that we're constantly fighting for. I know I'm speaking for a lot of people when I say we are so happy to see so many gay and bi characters see the mainstream's spotlights, be left unquestioned, that I, someone on the other side of the world, am left in positive awe whenever I see some middle-aged white dudes casually say, "My daughter's girlfriend." But of course, it's always a fight. We can't be complacent, because for every win, people will always try to tear it down, and I know I just happen to be in pretty inclusive online communities to see what I see in the west. There, people queer sexualities still fight. Here, people still fight. Queer identities will never stop fighting.

All this to say, what of Gwen? Well, one of the moments that made me think about her this way was when I was putting the little hints together. Because her arc does not stand in isolation. Her arc is literally colored by transness. From the big trans flag above her door, the trans colors that literally paint her and her world, the reflections that show her other identity, her reconciliation with her father hitting us with "They can only know half of who I am," the acceptance, and even the tiniest bit of Mary Jane's voice over talking about raising a child that's different than everyone else and learning to learn as a parent, and all these details. Hell, she even hangs out with Hobie Brown, whose entire thing is anarchism, the rejection of what society has considered the norm for bullshit reasons, to hang out with a radical leftist—and as one of those, there's not any other group (or at least from my experience) quite as intersectional with solidarity with marginalized groups as radlefts. To those who say, "Maybe she's just an ally," I challenge you: why would the film stop there?

Why does the film that goes out of its way to casually show more people of color as normal, to show people with disabilities playing basketball, to show an entire arc about Miles striving to fight the institutions that want to keep him down, to drive with progress, to drive the narrative that anyone can be behind the mask, why would it stop at making Gwen Stacy a trans girl?

And very similar to Miles, of course there's no one explicitly transphobic nor are any groups shown to be that. It's a more personal story, and is more subtle about it. And it's crazy how much this reminds of when I grew up watching The Legend of Korra, when Korra and Asami's relationship was only some endgame thing and hinted at with a "vacation." Gay people didn't have that much there. Not much in other places in the mainstream either. They started making their own, of course. Through fan-fiction, through art, making their own stories. But fortunately (I say with as much dripping sarcasm as I can) capitalism now sees it as a big enough market for billionaires to profit off of. (Which is, in a very dystopian way, a win.) And now, it's eerily familiar to see trans people get the same treatment now, stuck in a limbo of infrequent and rare representation in the mainstream if we aren't clawing for every inch.

So, while Miguel O'Hara isn't a racist authoritarian, George Stacy isn't a transphobe—not when he goes out of his way to wear trans flags (and no, it's not a trick of the light; nothing is a trick of the light, it's all intentional in animation). But the conflicts they represent aren't any less meaningful in the subtext. And that means a lot for people who are fighting tooth and nail to be recognized.

And all of this, too, is representative of one of the first and second film's main themes. It's not that it doesn't matter who's behind the mask, it's that it can be anyone behind the mask, carrying with them all the richness of their experiences, bringing forth a Spider-Person unlike any other. And in the second film, to defy the patterns and labels set by the institutions that govern our lives, doing things like using fear and preserving an order for some grand picture.

So, I'm pretty sure Gwen Stacy is trans. What does it add to the story? Nothing. Being cis never added much to the story.

But for someone like me, it's doing a lot. It gives me hope.

[kitkatscabinet]

big get fucked to J.K Rowling and any transphobes I in no way support her. I do not read the books/watch the movies/buy the merch. Her opinions and lots of what she wrote is trash

Harry Potter Au but it's during the timeline of the books.

This ended up being way fucking longer than I thought so:

Aegon is in Harry's year. Aemond is a first year when they're in 4th year and Jace joins Hogwarts a year after Aemond.

Contains hcs for Aemond's and Jace's first year and Aegon's 4th.

(Helaena is a ravenclaw and a year younger than Aegon)

Aemond:

We all saw it coming but he's a Slytherin. Pureblood, comes from one of the most prestigious magical families in history.

He longs to uphold the family line/tradition and is both incredibly cunning and ambitious. While yes he's very intelligent, he learns to further his own goals and standing so it's a no brainer really

Aemond is a true loner. he has no friends even within his own house. the children his age are hardly representative of what their house should be and he thinks many of them to be sheep.

The Targaryen's did not fight for voldemort, Viserys' first wife was a halfblood after all. The Hightower's however, while not openly, did support his regime from the shadows.

It's during the first task of the Triwizard tournament that he bumps into an overly friendly fourth-year Hufflepuff.

she thinks he's just the cutest little thing and when she notices how much he brightens when he sees the dragons she asks if he likes them

Aemond ends up ranting at her for three hours before he realises what he's done. but she doesn't seem mad. In fact she thanks him and leans down to kiss his cheek.

from there he starts to see her everywhere, and everytime she sees him she'll talk to him.

he spends hours discussing everything from magical regulation laws to how he's adjusting to hogwarts.

she's the kindest, prettiest, smartest and funniest woman in the entire world he quickly decides.

one of the older boys confronts him about spending so much time with a puff, and even worse, a mudblood.

Aemond is a little distraught and confused. He didn't buy into the same prejudices as most of his housemates but still, muggleborns weren't as strong or wise as purebloods.

But... you were. You were quick-witted, and fierce and hardworking.

He thinks you're more of a dragon than his father

he pulls away a little and you give him space, but not before letting him know you'll always be available

Aemond's forgotten what it's like to be lonely and decides he cares little for it.

sits next to you for breakfast one morning and you are over the moon, introducing him to all your other friends who all fawn over him.

he sees you cry for the first time when Diggory dies. You try to hide your sorrow from him but he refuses to leave your side.

This is when he vows to get strong enough to be your protector, to be worthy enough for you.

Voldemort is back and you're one of his causes targets, he wont let anything happen to you.

Jace:

Gryffindor. The picture of chivalry.

He's a year younger than Aemond and quickly becomes one of Mcgonnagall (I forgot how to spell her name) favourites because he's so polite and well mannered.

he is still a lion though and has earned himself plenty of detentions for punching bigoted slytherins.

his mother has tried to claim him as a pureblood but everyone knows he's a halfblood.

While jace doesn't care about blood status so much, he does care about the implications it has on his mother.

he's popular with both students and teachers

gets lost in the first week of school and runs into a very pretty Ravenclaw first year who's also late because they spent too long in the library

it's love at first sight, especially when she tells Flitwick that she had gotten lost and Jace had helped her.

he's James potter if James wasn't a fuckin twat.

some of the staff refer to the two of you as the next James and lily but truthfully Mcgonnagall knows you're closer to being the second coming of a polite James and a studious Sirius

he's far more courteous though, and while he's the farthest thing from smooth when he actually does have feelings it's kind of endearing.

study dates (he can't wait until you can both go to hogsmeade).

it only takes him half a year before he writes his mother to beg her to let you stay during the holidays.

The two of you are attached at the hip and many of the staff are genuinely dismayed when your houses have classes apart. Not as dismayed as you and Jace though.

You've already planned out your future electives so you can have as many classes as possible together.

his mother likes you very much, but you and Daemon and seem to hate each other.

you are always competing with his step father, throwing snarky comments and trying to outdo the other.

Anyone that thinks its ridiculous Daemon had picked a nemesis in an 11 year old very wisely keeps that thought to themselves.

Well that is, after some pureblood on the lower end of the social hierarchy had said so at the latest ball and you had hexed him beyond recognition.

Screaming that only you could say such things about Daemon.

"I thought you hated Daemon???" "Why would you think that? I love Daemon more than I love you"

Jace becomes insanely studious after that harsh blow. he also begins training to join the quidditch team. Something that Daemon hadn't been on.

Aegon:

Genuinely the hardest to choose a house for. but he's a Gryffindor as well. If just for the fact he is none of the other three.

Aegon wants to distance himself from his family

But he has the potential to be brave and chivalrous, the hat has placed him exactly where he needs to be. Alicent (ravenclaw) is less than pleased but Viserys is delighted he's taking after Rhaenyra

he in 4th year with Harry and is only the second biggest pariah at the school because of the triwizard situation.

he has no friends. He's known as the biggest twat in the school

the twins are the only ones that like him, they're oddly perceptive to how Aegin really feels and it freaks him out.

Oh and that one girl that's somehow in all his classes, is always in the common room when he's there and almost always eats with him, even though she's super popular and has lots of friends.

she's a chaser on the quidditch team, gets along well with the so called 'golden trio' and is the perfect mix of daring, precocious and charming that all the teachers seem to love her.

she's so perfect it pisses him off, and it seems that no matter what he says or does she's sticking around.

she's a half blood, not that Aegon cares. but he knows grandfather will, and for that he tolerates her presence

(it's not because he's lonely and she actually pays attention to him, sees him for him)

his house members sneer that he doesn't belong.

Aegon knows this, but he also knows he belongs even less in all the other houses. A complete outsider everywhere he goes.

he's used to hearing such sentiments.

so when you stand and start to screech in fury in the middle of the great hall, throwing food, insults and hexes at every person that had every badmouthed him before the teachers could intervene

you lost an insane amount of house points as well as 'friends' and social standing as well as gained detention for the rest of the year

but you had officially gained one positive thing that nearly nobody else had. Aegon's love

and even if you hadn't you would still do it again.

[braveclementine]

Chapter 17

Warnings: None. However, future chapters will contain sexual content so readers that are under the age of 18 may have to skip those chapters (However they are very few so those under the age of 18 can still read a majority of this book. However please keep note of the warnings).

Copyright: I do not own any Wizarding World characters that J.K. Rowling wrote. I do however own Elizabeth Kane (main character) and Trang Nyguen (best friend). There should be no use of these two names without my permission. I also do not condone any copying of this.

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

𝕴 𝖜𝖆𝖘 𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖑𝖑 a cat in the morning. A hand kept running over my head in soothing motions and I twitched an ear. "Morning." Severus whispered in my ear. I rolled over onto my back and stretched, my paws reaching up towards the ceiling and then I flopped onto my side, all four paws on the right side of my body and mewed, closing my eyes again.

He chuckled. "Tired?"

"Meow."

"Figures." He said, sounding amused. "You were up late last night."

I meowed again, standing up on his chest, and stretching. Then I walked across his chest and licked his cheek with my tiny tongue. Then I hopped off the bed and became human again.

"Oh good." He said, standing up too. He pushed me against the wall and kissed me roughly. I closed my eyes, welcoming everything.

He moved his lips to the side of my neck. "Careful." I whispered. "You already left one mark on me and Umbridge is still poking around." But I was shivering with excitement.

"You don't seem to want me to be careful." He whispered gently, his lips touching my neck. I could just barely fell the tip of his tongue.

"It's your head. . ." I muttered weakly.

He bit me gently and I let out a little moan of ecstasy, trembling with anticipation. I moved my hand so that I could lift his face to mine and I was so rough in my kiss that I accidentally bit his bottom lip- it really wasn't intentional. He wrapped his arms around me so tight I thought he was going to break something and I could feel my back pressed up against the wall.

I could feel his long hair against my face, I could feel one hand on the small of my back, the other wrapped underneath my ass. I could feel his lips and his tongue on mine. I felt everything. Goosebumps rose up on my arms and I tightened them around the back of his head.

"Fuck. . ." I muttered softly.

"How bad you are." he whispered, his lips a quarter of an inch above mine. I had another heart palpitation at those words. "You really should be good. . ." and he pressed his lips to mine again.

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

"𝕳𝖎 𝕳𝖆𝖗𝖗𝖞." 𝕴 said brightly, joining him and Ron in the Great Hall for lunch. He looked very downcast and kept shooting looks up at the teachers table. "What's wrong?"

"Umbridge went to the Minister again." Harry spat out. "Fred, George, and I still got the life time ban and she took our brooms."

"What!" I asked, my smile dropping off my face and I sat down. "She can't. . . I guess she can. . ."

"But the Minister said you did nothing wrong apparently." Hermione said soothingly to me. "So you're still Captain. She can't do anything about it."

"And Draco?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Still on the Slytherin team." Ron said bitterly. "His father probably bribed the Minister or something."

Hagrid reappeared at the teacher's table at that moment. Fred, George, and Lee ran up the aisle, roaring with delight to shake Hagrid's hands. I saw other students, however, exchange gloomy glances, especially at the Ravenclaw table.

"Tuesdays going to be a nightmare for you guys." I muttered. "At least I get him tomorrow morning."

Monday morning I trooped down to Hagrid's cabin along with the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Hagrid was waiting for us, a dead cow slung over his shoulders. Many of the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws exchanged nervous glances with each other.

"We're workin' in here today! Bit more sheltered! Anyway, they prefer the dark. Right, well, I've bin savin' a trip inter the forest fer yer fifth year. Though we'd go an' see these creatures in their natural habitat. Now, what we're studyin' today is pretty rare, I reckon I'm probably the on'y person in Britain whos' managed ter train 'em. Now then, if yer all ready, let's go an' see 'em."

Hagrid turned and strode into the forest and I followed behind him quickly. The others came after me.

We walked for about ten minutes and we came to a place where the trees stood so closely together that it was almost as dark as though it was twilight. Hagrid dropped the cow on the ground and turned to face the class. His face was a mess but it was well hidden here.

"Gather roun', gather roun'. Now, they'll be attracted by the smell o' the meat but I'm goin' ter give 'em a call anyway, 'cause they'll like ter know it's me." He turned and cupped his hands around his mouth and made some sort of shrieking call. He did it twice more.

I saw them first. Their eyes were blank, white, and shiny. It was hard to see anymore of their body considering they were black in color. The class didn't see them though and from the looks of it, I was the only one who could see them.

"Oh, an' here comes another one!" Hagrid called out and with a shock, I realized that Hagrid could see them. It had never occurred to me before that he could. And I wondered briefly who he had seen die. His father perhaps? But I was sure he'd been at Hogwarts when that happened.

"An' another!" Hagrid said excitedly as a third showed up. "Now put yer hands up, who can see 'em?"

I was the only one in class who raised my hand. I saw some of the Ravenclaws murmuring.

"Yeah. . . I knew you'd be able ter, Elizabeth. Tha' it?" Hagrid asked, looking around. "So these creatures are called Thestrals. Hogwarts has got a whole herd of 'em here. Now, who knows why one of yeh can see it, and other's can't?"

I raised my hand again.

"Go on Elizabeth."

"Only people who have seen someone pass away can see Thestrals." I said, putting my hand down. "That's why people associate them with bad omens. But they aren't really a bad omen, it's only because of the death situation."

"Tha's exactly right." Hagrid said happily. "Ten points ter Hufflepuff. Now, Thestrals usually come as large herds. This particular herd started with five females and one male. This one, name o' Tenebrus, he's my special favorite, firs' one born here in the forest after the male mated with one of the females." He was putting his hand on one of the horses but to everyone else, it looked like it was floating in midair.

Hagrid continued to give us a rundown of the facts about Thestrals and when class was over, I eavesdropped on some of the Ravenclaws.

"That wasn't a horrible lesson." Terry was saying to Anthony, "In fact, as standards go, it was a very interesting lessons. I wonder who Kane watched die."

"It sounds horrible when you put it that way." Anthony said, frowning. "But her parents passed away when she was a baby, maybe it was them."

"Maybe it was Cedric." Terry said and looked over and saw me looking and blushed. I rolled my eyes as they sped up towards the castle.

The next day in Herbology, I saw that Hermione's face was absolutely livid and I assumed the worst.

"You were right." Hermione snapped before I could open my mouth to say anything. "She was absolutely horrible to him."

I kept my mouth shut because Hermione seemed very pissed at me though I wasn't sure why. Then she confronted me after class and I was quite aware about why now.

"You should've told him!" She said angrily as we headed back into the castle. "You should've told him what was going to happen."

"Bloody hell, I'm sorry." I muttered. "But I already tried warning him and you did too and he didn't listen."

There was so much to be done as we entered December too. Hufflepuff played Ravenclaw and though I had foreseen us losing, I caught the snitch in under 17 minutes. I checked the scores and saw that we had won. I wondered why that was but I wasn't going to complain.

There were things to be done as a prefect as well. We had to supervise Christmas decorating, watch first and second-years during their breaks inside classrooms, and also patrol the corridors more often.

I was going to be going home for Christmas. Well, not home home. I was going to Grimmauld place. I hadn't told Sirius but I assumed he'd be happy when I showed up on his doorstep regardless.

I was spending a lot of time in Severus' office when I wasn't doing anything else. I hadn't been back in the forest and I was getting angsty and liked to get rid of my pent up energy by wrestling with him.

"It's freezing in here." I said, my robes draped over the chair. I was sitting in the chair, my feet propped up on his desk while he graded homework and I graded tests. It was cold in the dungeons- I could see my breath misting in the air. "How do you stand it down here?"

"Practice." He said simply. "You get used to it after a while."

I shivered, marking an answer off on the test because it was wrong. My hands started grow numb with cold and I kept putting the quill down to rub my hands together to warm them up again.

Once I was done with the tests, I put them back on his desk and sat down on his bed, wrapping myself in his warm blankets and closed my eyes. I could hear the brief scratches of his quill on the parchment. I dozed briefly until I heard the quill scratches stop and the sound of shoes falling onto the floor.

The bed creaked and he pulled me down so that I was laying next to him. I pressed my feet up against his leg. Somehow, he was still very warm.

"You are cold." He said, sounding immensely surprised and I giggled.

"I did tell you." I said, amused.

"I think your lips are blue." He said seriously.

I pressed my face into his neck. He shivered now. I hesitated for a second and then, blushing, gently bit him. He jumped, not expecting it.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked, pulling away quickly, a worried expression on my face.

He looked at me like it was the first time he was seeing me. "Bloody hell Elizabeth." He said weakly. My hand was on his chest and I could feel his heart was pounding twice as fast as it normally did.

I grinned and lowered my lips back to the same spot, teasing him. He let out a shuddering breath, his hands on my waist. He wasn't pushing me away or pulling me to him, it was more like he was trying to steady himself.

I'd never done this before, but as his heart started to beat faster, I knew I must be doing something right as I ran my tongue down his neck slowly. Then my hands were on the front of his shirt, undoing the upper buttons. He had completely frozen as I finished unbuttoning the last button.

I'd often wondered what he looked like underneath. Sometimes I imagined abs. Sometimes I imagine a smooth stomach. I knew he wasn't fat. I was, however, incredibly impressed with what I saw. He had a full six pack of abs. They weren't the ridiculous kind either that body builders had. He was just. . . solid.

He started to laugh, a low laugh. "You look surprised."

I didn't answer, just trailed my fingers over his abs. I had a mental image of me running my tongue over his abs and blushed beet red. He put his hand on my face and asked, "What are you thinking about?"

I blushed even redder and shook my head, looking away. "Nothing." I said softly.

He cupped my chin in one hand so that I was looking at him. "Really?" He asked softly, amused.

I blushed darker. "Er-"

He pulled my face down lower so that our noses were touching. "Really?" He breathed, his breath tickling me.

"Um-"

He pulled me down so that our lips touched and I was filled with a sudden energy and gripped his waist with my legs, tightening them on either side of him. There was a sudden urgency within me that made me feel that if I didn't kiss him, I was going to die.

He received me eagerly and he rolled over so that he was on top of me, pressing himself down on me. My hands were in his hair, I didn't know where his hands were because all I could think about were his lips on mine.

"Stay for Christmas." He murmured suddenly against my cheek.

"I can't." I said. "I already said I was going home- well, not home- but you know. I don't want Sirius to be alone for Christmas."

He made a sound that might've been out of disgust in the back of his throat and I tried to resurface to glare at him. "Be nice." I stressed.

"I am nice." he murmured, his lips on the right side of my neck.

I giggled. "Besides, why would I stay? I'm at least able to escape Umbridge for a couple weeks."

He groaned. "Fair point, but you could spend Christmas with me."

I smiled at him. "I would but you're not going to be alone here. Sirius is."

He frowned down at me. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"What a child." He muttered, kissing me. I pouted. "Still being a child." he said, amused. I stuck my tongue out again, touching his lips, and he pressed his lips to mine again with renewed vigor.

⬅️➡️

[im-itsprettyunfortunate]

Chapter 3 of my Jegulus Fake Dating AU is up now!!

Here‘s a little snipped for you:

"Scrambled eggs?" He asks.

Regulus nods, and then just stands next to the stove while James lets go of his hand in order to prepare their breakfast. Not wanting to be completely useless, Regulus asks, "Do you want me to make some tea, maybe?"

James smiles at him, nods, and shows him where everything he needs is.

For a few moments, the two of them just bustle around, both completing their own tasks, but then, when Regulus is done preparing the tea and the only thing left to do is wait for the water to boil, he feels James' hand snake around his waste, and he pulls Regulus closer. Standing in front of the stove together, Regulus wraps his arms around James' torso, snuggling closer. It’s exactly what he would do if he was James' real boyfriend, and for a moment right there in his arms, in his kitchen, Regulus lets himself enjoy this moment, let it take root in his mind, and simply let it bloom.

When the water is boiling, Regulus lets go of James—but only very reluctantly—in order to take that one step and pour the hot water into the cups, but he doesn’t have to mourn the loss of contact too long because James simply goes with him. He smiles at Regulus and then presses his lips against Regulus' temple.

Regulus wishes he could bottle this feeling up and keep it, so he never has to miss it once it’s over.

But it is over, eventually. It’s over the moment Effie jumps up and rushes towards the stove.

"Oh, fuck, the eggs," James curses, and both he and Regulus untangle and take a look at the pan.

Well, the eggs are burned. It’s not even recognisable that they were once eggs; all that’s left is a pathetic pile of black crumbs.

"Sorry," James says, a sheepish smile on his face. "I didn’t mean to-"

"You go sit down," Effie commands, but contrary to what Regulus expected, she isn’t mad or angry at them, and she isn’t even scowling at them. The words she spoke were said with a grin more than anything, and she simply throws the burnt remains into the bin under the sink, sets the pan down in the sink, and takes a new pan from the cabinet.

James takes both mugs that have just been filled by Regulus and carries them to the table, and then he sits down. Regulus follows him, but when he tries to sit down on the chair next to the one James' occupies, he can’t. He can’t, because James pulls him onto his lap instead.

[dhr-ao3]

Write For Me

Write For Me https://ift.tt/0Vc4v6F by Ada_P_Rix “You must have really good self-control to not take what you want, then.” And oh, that sudden fire and curiosity in her eyes. She was fucking with him. “I bet it burns you to keep your hands to yourself at times when all you really want to do is reach out and take it - take what you want, even though you shouldn’t.” Before Draco knew what he was doing, he was standing in front of her, grabbing her thighs just like he’d been imaging from her little story and hoisted her onto the desk. He was standing there between her legs, just like he had imagined and brought her hips flush against his so she could feel everything. And fucking hell did it feel good - too good. He bent down and his lips met her ear. “Don’t provoke me, Granger.” he heard her breath hitch. “You might not like the outcome.” Then with all of his self-control he pushed himself away and she dropped back onto the floor. He could hear her breathing heavily as he turned away from her. “Have the next part to me by Wednesday, Granger.” A triumphant smile rose to his face as he walked. “You seem to know exactly what I want.” OR: Draco accidently finds Hermione's dirty stories that she writes as a hobby. Words: 14515, Chapters: 1/2, Language: English Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Additional Tags: Pining Draco Malfoy, Pining Hermione Granger, Mutual Pining, Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Sexual Tension, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Sex, Sexual Fantasy, Draco Malfoy Has a Breeding Kink, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Smut, BAMF Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy is a Little Shit via AO3 works tagged 'Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy' https://ift.tt/5wE1p2F January 06, 2024 at 09:56PM

[caraphernellie]

ranting about useless things again

I HATE JK ROWLING

ok now that’s out of the way. can i just fucking diss on harry potter

SUCH WASTED POTENTIAL.

i’m just saying if it was for a mature audience and it was not written by a terf it would be so good.

i DESPISE jk rowling’s writing. i think she’s shit. and when i was a kid i knew it too because i tried forcing myself to read harry potter and i couldn’t stand jk rowling’s boring ass writing style or plots to get into it.

I LOVE FANTASY SO MUCH and i love the idea behind it. HOGWARTS IS COOL AS FUCK. wizarding school sign me the fuck up yk

I HAVE READ ENTIRE MULTI CHAPTER HOGWARTS AU FANFICS FROM DIFFERENT FANDOMS AND ENJOYED THEM SO MUCH.

i just fucking hate jk rowling and her writing style and her boring plots SHE SUCKS and i blame everything that goes wrong in my life on her

disgusting ugly rich woman

I HATE HER.

and yes i know hp is kids series YES I STILL THINK ITS BAD fuck OFF

anyway i’m a ravenclaw what house r u

when i was edgy i used to say i was a slytherin but i’m not really

sorry if u like hp much love but i cant stand the it, i love the actual idea behind it tho i think it’s wasted potential. hp au fics go so much harder

[stories-by-an-anxious-ice-dragon]

today i was on the bus wiff my lesbian mogai girlfriend when this older woman with blonde hair and a cup of starbucks (of course) cofee came over and scoffed at us. she asked my lesbian mogai girlfriend to stand up so she could put her suitcase down somewhere without it getting dirty.

oh, my god. what now. i tell my lesbian mogai girleiend that she doesnt have to listen to this old karen, but she's an empath and decides to stand up anyway. so now there's this suitcase sitting next to me instad od my beautgifl mogai girlfirned and i'm just so fucking mad like what so important could be in this suitcase that it has to have a whole seat to itself while my lesbian girlfriend has to stand up for the 20 (20 WHOLE minutes) minute ride down to our chute.

that was when karen notices my lesbian mogai girlfirend's OUAT t-shit and scoffs. it was a bigger scoff tan last time, with ugliness, with hate. "i can't believe it's 2023 andyou kids are still watching fairy tales," she says. "back when i was a kid, we had real young audlt television. like full house. like saved by the bell. like dalas." i notice then her who shot JR t-shit. "and no,JR does not isn't stand for j.k rowling."

i told her that OUAT is a great tv show and that the fifth season is still way better than anything in her types of shows. it may be about fairy tales but it's also about real things. bitch.

someone else walked up. it was an older man with a cane weearing a beverly hillbillies t-shit. "she's right, you know. once, it was your tv shows that evberyone called cringe and uncool."

everyuone started looking at karen. she started fuming. she demanded i get up too, so she could sit down with her suitcase, but one of the laughing people grabbed her coffee and spille dit on her head.s calaing, hto, steamed fluid went down her flesh, boiling off every last bit of peach fuzzand going down into her shirt. she screamed. maybe you're the one who needs fairy tales, i said. and jhust like she asked, i got up from my seat, just in time to deliver a sucket punch right into her gut. she fell back into the bar behind her. everyone kept laughing. i saw the dizziness in her eyes. is aw the lights in front of her vision when the guy next to her stomped her as well. she wasn't seeing a bus full of lesbian mogait girlfreidns, she was seeing, as she lay there on the ground, her full cup of coffee now pouring down her chest, watching people start ruffling through her suitcase to see what was so apparently important, god. she was seeing the true, OUAT god.s pectres danced in front of her vision, moving her spirit back and forth in her body. your time is up. your time is up. we're taking you back. you claimed all this time that you knew everything about the world, now watch the strings of fate tugged and twisted. everyone kept laughing. the bus driver turned around and pointed at her, telling her to get up before she tripped anyone. she tried doing so, tears going down her face so salty that it seemed like she'd gotten a caramel latte instead of a mocha, but someone stomped her again. i ebt you wish you just sat down now, didn't you, instead of placing your phony suitcase next to me. what's this? you don't recognize the company name anymore? you try to read your signed name at the bottom of the coffee stained contract, but all you see is stars, the eyes of god, glaring daggers into you? how long you tried getting ahead in thsi rat race. btu your world is nothing btu a flat plane. someone could just look at everything around you and decide to crumple up up. could cut you out, paste you onto something else . outside the window, there is now a hundred lane highway. busses after busses, everyone is sitting silently, talking about their favorite tv shows, except for the bus you're in. here, someone just kicked the side of your head, swatting coffee drops out of your hair. someone just poured all the contents of your suitcase onto you. someow you mange to stand up and run run run move your feet god damn it girl just get somewhere safe think of happy thoughts happy thoughts jack and the beanstalk bah bah black sheep oh but twinkle twinkle little star and the eyes of god are still laughing at you. as you slip out the bus. you hear someone saying you're fired. who shot karen. all gather around and laugh.

my lesbian mogai girlfriend then kneels down for me, and asks me to marry her. one of the old people on the bus gives her their ring so she can do it. i'm so blushing i don't even know what to say. gosh. Maybe the world isn't so bad a place.