#fuck up the epilogue verse

[zepskies]

In the Dark

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader

Summary: You and Ben have tackled the insurmountable together, but no one said the recovery would be easy.

AN: Another story for the BMD-verse! This was requested by @sl33pylilbunny. It’s set in the six-month time gap after Part 17 and before the Epilogue of Break Me Down.

Word Count: 1,500 Tags/Warnings: Angst, traumatic memories, hurt/comfort and feels.

Read more of the BMD-verse: ⤵️

💚 Break Me Down Masterlist

The building was falling apart.

You couldn’t remember why, but you were deep in a labyrinth. The only way out was further down, into what felt like an immense basement, wading through debris and pieces of the ceiling threatening to crush you at every turn.

You hadn’t stopped running and your lungs were on fire. Your heartbeat was loud in your ears. You had an iron grip on your friend’s wrist, so you wouldn’t lose her or her son in the chaos.

“Keep going,” you told them. “We’re getting out.”

A hand on your shoulder stopped you from moving forward.

And three shots rang out. You ducked and took your friend down with you, but you choked on a gasp when you looked back…

You woke with a sharp inhale.

Your eyes blinked wide and bleary in a pitch black room. You couldn’t see, but you could still hear your wild heartbeat echoing between your ears.

The more you blinked, the more your eyes adjusted. You could make out the familiarity of your bedroom. While you tried to calm your breathing, you turned onto your side, slowly.

You found Ben, asleep.

His mouth was parted as he breathed. His hair had fallen over his brows in sleep. You almost smiled…but you weren’t quite able to.

You carefully brushed the stray locks away from his forehead. Then you slid out of bed so you wouldn’t disturb him.

This had become your habit over the past couple of weeks since moving into this new apartment. You loved it, but it was hard for you to stay comfortable at night.

Though I don’t think that’s the apartment’s fault, you thought wryly. No, it was just your fucked mental health.

Shaking your head at yourself, you went down to the kitchen and made yourself some chamomile tea. That was Step 1.

Step 2 was sitting on the couch with your laptop and your headphones. You kept yourself up with YouTube videos and answering work emails. By now, they knew not to ask why you were sending them at three in the morning.

This time, however, you made a mistake.

Instead of going back to bed and lying awake for another hour until your alarm went off…you fell asleep on the couch.

You must’ve been more exhausted than you thought.

The next time you woke, it was to the odd sensation of floating. Or rather, being carried. You blinked up at Ben, whose brows were already furrowed.

“Hey,” you said, a bit sheepishly.

He didn’t answer you, nor did he set you down until he’d walked you back into the bedroom and laid you down on your side of the bed. It was still dark in the room, which meant you couldn’t have been asleep for more than an hour or so.

Ben slipped back into bed, and you turned toward him under the covers.

You felt bad about waking him up. He had his own bouts of insomnia, but it had been starting to get better, ever since you two moved in together permanently a couple of months ago.

You scooted closer to him, resting your head against his shoulder when he shifted onto his back. His arm came down around your waist, a comfortable weight that made you feel more secure.

“When was the last time you slept through the night?” he asked.

You breathed in deeply…and you let it out.

“I don’t know,” you replied.

He paused for a moment. Then he hummed in understanding. His hand moved slowly up and down your back.

You closed your eyes, but he still fell back asleep before you did.

Both of you had to work in the morning. Ben watched you out of the corner of his eye as you got ready for the day.

He’d been waiting for you to come to him with whatever was on your mind, but you were keeping it to yourself. He didn’t push you. You were smart, and whatever you needed to work out, he would let you deal with it your way, as you so often did.

It didn’t seem to affect how you did your job. At Supe Affairs, no one was the wiser. They didn’t know about the concealer covering the bags under your eyes, or that you were adding a couple shots of espresso to your usual latte every morning.

No, the fun came long after your day was done. After you had showered and dressed for bed, with a silent undercurrent of anxiety hovering in the back of your mind.

Another night, another pain in your ass.

You kept your eyes open for as long as you could, but at 2:00 a.m., you couldn’t take it anymore.

The darkness claimed you.

Three shots rang out. You ducked and took Yvette with you, but you choked on a gasp when you looked back…

Jon, your father, had a gloved fist punched through his chest cavity. 

You watched with wide eyes as Black Noir revoked his arm from your father’s body with a wet, horrific sound. You gasped when Jon fell to his knees.

But to your shock, the supe glanced right past you, Yvette, and Devon. His pale gray eyes focused on only the men in the room. He then strode forward and began picking them off one by one.

You shakily pointed out a large aisle of A-Train merchandise for your friend to hide behind. Yvette pulled her son in that direction, while you went to your father where he laid on the ground. 

With difficulty, you rolled him onto his back. You then laid a hand on his shoulder, while the other hovered over his chest. Blood pooled through the gaping chasm in his Vought-issued black jacket. 

Your lower lip trembled, and you realized then that you were crying as he struggled for breath. Even after everything he’d done to you—to your family—it still hurt you to see him like this…to know that he was dying. 

And there was no time. Not to save him, or for resolution…

“Dad,” you tried, but he stopped you. His brows were furrowed with pain, but he gripped your wrist tight. 

“Run,” he said. He held on for a moment or two longer, but when the light faded from his eyes, you closed yours. 

Your eyes wrenched open when a hand gripped your throat.

It was Black Noir, brandishing a katana between your eyes.

“…ake up.”

Words that just barely registered as you sucked in shallow breaths.

A solid pair of arms were caging you, and you instinctively fought the hold, uttering a whimper.

“Hey,” he said firmly. “It’s me.”

You gasped and finally found Ben’s face in the dark of the room. You heaved for breath as you stared up at him.

Despite your relief, tears brimmed in your eyes. Your grip tightened on his arms as your lips trembled. You opened your mouth to speak, but all that came out was a sob.

Ben slid onto his side instead of looming above you. He guided you more securely into his arms, and you let yourself rest against his chest. You buried your face there and wept.

His fingers sorted through your hair as he tried to calm you.

“I’ve got you,” he rumbled. 

Your body was exhausted. Your chest was filled with anxiety, the remnants of fear, and frustration at yourself, that you couldn’t just get over this.

But you felt his lips at the crown of your head. The sound of his steady heartbeat beneath your cheek drowned out the sound of your rapid one, and it served to steady you too. Your hand splayed against his chest, connecting you with his warm skin.

You began to calm in his arms.

“I see my father die every night,” you whispered.

Finally, you admitted the things you hadn’t been able to for weeks.

“Black Noir, Vought crumbling, trying to find you,” you said, even though your voice was shaking. “Everything, all over again…except I never make it out.”

Ben let out a deep sigh. He nodded, his lips still brushing against your forehead.

“It’s just a dream,” he said.

You shook your head. “No, it’s not.”

He could concede to that. He didn’t know what else to say to you though. All he could think to do was hold you a bit tighter.

“It’ll fade,” he said eventually. “Give it time.”

You squeezed your eyes shut. A few tears fell through, but he brushed those away from your cheek.

When you were able to look up at him again, you asked him, “Has it all faded for you?”

Part of you already knew what he might say. As a result, you expected the way he hesitated.

“You know the answer to that,” he said. His fingers continued to sift through your hair, and you breathed easier at the pleasant sensation.

“They’re like battle wounds,” he continued. “They’ll just become scars.”

That wasn’t anything new for you, he knew. You’d had scars long before he met you.

You seemed to let his words sink in though. You nodded and pressed a kiss to his chest; a wordless thank you.

“Close your eyes,” he said, low and steady.

You hesitated, but you did as he said. You closed your eyes.

And when your breathing gentled into the deep calm of sleep, Ben allowed himself to try and do the same.

AN: And there we have it. Short and angsty lol. But I can't write angst without a little hurt/comfort. 💚💚

I hope you liked this!

Keep Reading in the BMD-verse:

The one-shot that started it all (AKA: inspired the BMD story):

Summary: You’re not a supe. You’re breakable. Soldier Boy sometimes forgets that.

▶️ Next Story: Checkerboard

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[jazjelspen]

jazjel’s masterlist

everything written by jazjel and their pen so far!

about the author

[P.S!!!! If there’s a series that you want to keep in touch with and know when each part comes out, please let me know in messages or in the comments that you want to be tagged!

You will only be tagged once, unless specified that you want to be tagged in all upcoming parts of a particular series.]

[currently not taking requests right now, will open very soon tho! >.<]

CHAPTER 1: Twisted Wonderland

CHAPTER 2: Spider-verse (ATSV)

CHAPTER 3: Hazbin Hotel

CHAPTER 4: PERSONA 5: Royal (pending..)

CHAPTER 5: CREEPYPASTA

——————————————————

bonus: original works/ocs

artwall: personal drawings!

———————————————————

[CHAPTER 1]

Twisted Wonderland

“we’ll show you a real happy ending.”

-Heartslabyul(none yet)

-Savannaclaw(none yet)

-Octovinelle(none yet)

-Scarabia(none yet)

-Pomefiore(none yet)

-Ignihyde

and so they lived happily ever after(idia)

-Diasomnia

breaking up with the prince of briar valley(malleus)

the world we knew(malleus)

————————————-

series/various

leaving on wild charted waters (story/various) (songs recommended to listen for this series: White Tea - Rozie Ramati, Ex-Girlfriend - No Doubt)

-part 1

-part 2

-part 3

-part 4

-part 5

-part 6

-part 7

-…….

-…….

-…….

the domestic life (various)

-part 1

-part 2

——————————————-

[CHAPTER 2]

SPIDER-VERSE

“anyone can be under the mask.”

-miles morales(not yet)

-gwen stacey(not yet)

-hobie brown(not yet)

-pavitr prabhakar(not yet)

-miguel o’hara

amor eterno (daughter reader/series)

amor eterno [parte 2](daughter reader/series)

—————————————————

[CHAPTER 3]

HAZBIN HOTEL

“now that’s the spirit! you’re in hell you delinquent fuck!”

-charlie morningstar(not yet) -vaggie(not yet) -angel dust(not yet) -husk(not yet) -nifty(not yet)(will mostly be platonic) -alastor when memories snow (x overlord reader)

devil’s spawn (angel alastor/radio demon daughter reader platonic) -sir pentious(not yet) -vox(not yet) -lucifer morningstar(not yet)

----------------------------------------------

series/various

my angel baby

-part 1

-part 2

-part 3

-part 4

-part 5

-part 6

……

……

……

scarlet and silver lining(story)

-epilogue

-part 1

-…

--------------------------------------------------------

original works/ocs

twst oc: Evan Bleu: a normal day for the blue fairy

artwall

my angel baby: author’s interpretation

my angel baby: school drabbles

[not-poignant]

I was surprised to hear that Ice Plague is a lesser read story from you! It’s one of my favorites and something I re-read often. I treasure that little family. I’ve never loved these particular characters more, they’re all my favorite versions of them. It’s such a beautiful and brilliantly plotted book!

Oh thank you anon!!

Tbh I think there were a few things working against it:

It came at the end of an already long series and there's more drop off the longer a series goes for, because it can only keep the people reading it, and doesn't attract new readers (though it attracted a few who didn't like Gwyn/Augus!)

A lot of people just didn't want to leave Gwyn/Augus behind and/or didn't like Mosk/Eran (I learned my lesson there)

It was actually written a lot more like a book series because I was writing them with a view to publishing down the track, which means of the whole Fae Tales Verse series, The Ice Plague is the one most ready to go directly to paperback/hardback etc. But I actually think that style of like epic fantasy storytelling is a bit less compatible with AO3 serials.

I wrote less cliffhangers. I now write a lot more cliffhangers (for all people hate them, they just do create more connection to a story as long as they're breaks and it's not constant).

I still love The Ice Plague. At the time I got really disheartened with it, and then I reread it and I was like 'wait this is fucking good though???' - I also think this and the final epilogue give Gwyn and Augus the happiest ending they could ever hope for.

In terms of writing quality, it's the story I'd publish first in the Fae Tales Verse even if it's out of order. It was the thing that was like 'shit, I can do this, and I can do this pretty well actually.' But I didn't know that at the time, because I was watching like... every metric of engagement dwindling over the years.

I'm afraid of this happening again with Underline the Red and Underline the Silver, but...I'll just have to suck it up and figure it out if it does happen! And in the meantime, I don't regret writing those stories, I'm just sad that it all fell out the way that it did. There are some of us who really love TIP, and I toast to like all of you, because whether you found it during the series or after the series, it's kept me going! <333

[youcouldmakealife]

LBTE: Jared (173-174)

In which we prepare for the end by going back to the beginning.

If you'd like to follow along, the series page is here.

Final LBTE the day after tomorrow -- the epilogue itself is tomorrow.

173. Lodestar

He’s already talking about taking next year’s rookies under his wing — taking them out for lunch, inviting them over to play video games, making sure they feel welcome.

Jared terrifying the rookies might put a crimp in Bryce’s rookie mentoring plans.

And — fuck, is Jared going to have to host shit? Jared doesn’t want to host shit. Letting people into his space sounds horrible. Hopefully they’ll get a pass, since there’s no way the team could all fit in their apartment, let alone significant others and kids. They had a few preliminary discussions about getting a house after they re-sign this summer, but no way is that happening if it increases the likelihood of Jared having to endure guests.

Refusing to buy a house solely so no one makes him host anything is the most Jared thing possible.

You’re co-hosting a wine night with me he receives from Stephen, who continues to have the uncanny ability to say the thing that Jared would like to hear least. Jared guesses Gabe told him the news.

Wine nights happen when the Canucks are on the road. Jared replies, rather than ‘I would rather die’, just in case Stephen takes him literally.

Very smart not to tell Stephen your worst fears: he’ll make them happen. Also: you’re co-hosting a wine night with him. It’s inevitable. The rookies may fear Jared, but the WAGs will love him.

The Scouts are flaming out against the Kings, earlier than their typical Stanley Cup Final choking.

This is the Red Wings’ year. So Kings vs Red Wings in the WCF (yes, this 'verse shunted Detroit right back to the west when they finally thought they were safe), then Red Wings vs Lightning in the Finals. Sorry Seb.

Bryce is, but he’s been busy with other things — getting a crash course on what’s involved in wearing the A from Gabe, babysitting the Kurmazov spawn while Dmitry and Oksana pack up their own place for the offseason, bringing some of their extra food over to Elaine’s, and somehow coming home with more shit than he left with, though thankfully all the childhood shit Elaine’s unloading on him is nonperishable.

Seriously, Bryce is 100% living the dream. Mentoring, babysitting, hanging out with his mom.

In one of the boxes is a battered stuffed bear with a bow tie that Bryce greets like an old friend, and now sits with the minor Winnie the Pooh collection in the sulking room. He doesn’t fit thematically, but Jared figures he gets extra points for making Bryce’s eyes light up. His name’s Mr. Bear. Bryce was apparently not a creative child.

Because Bryce was Bear, the Mr. was included to avoid confusion.

“What’s wrong?” Jared asks.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Bryce says.

“Is it your shoulder again?” Jared asks.

“It’s not my shoulder,” Bryce says.

“Is it somewhere else?” Jared asks.

Jared is not a very good listener when he’s panicking.

He’s suddenly terrified Bryce is going to propose or something. Demand they get married again, but in public this time. Fuck, Jared doesn’t want to marry Bryce again. He embarrassed himself in front of enough people last time, and is frankly extremely grateful no video evidence exists. He can’t deny that he cried if there’s a video of him doing exactly that. Not that he’d cry, but—

You’d fucking cry, don’t start.

Also if Bryce knew he could make everybody hold a party for his relationship with Jared? On one knee in a second flat. So Jared will just…never mention the existence of vow renewals in his presence. And quit bugging Gabe and Stephen about when they’re getting married so Stephen doesn’t snap and mention it himself.

Bryce hasn’t shown any signs of stopping to breathe, but Jared doesn’t interrupt him, knows Bryce won’t be able to gather the threads back together if he does, and, more than that, that he’s nervous about this for some reason. Nervous about telling Jared this.

Bryce rambles when he’s nervous and when something’s really important to him. This is both.

Mostly he’s trying to figure out how Bryce did all this without Jared knowing. Like, Jared knew Bryce was keeping busy, but how did he miss a whole ass project? Bryce did financials? He talked to Marc Lapointe?

He had a lot of spare time. Especially during road trips. It wasn’t particularly difficult to keep it on the DL, considering.

“We started in like, January,” Bryce says. “I wanted to have like, a real idea before I told you, make sure I was still like, serious about it. And everyone says to do the research so, like, mom and I did the research. Gabe and Stephen helped too. Stephen was only like, kind of mean about it. Though he kept saying shit about my hair.”

“Babe, saying you have Disney prince hair isn’t an insult, I told you that,” Jared says.

“He says it like an insult,” Bryce says.

Because he’s offended that your hair just DOES that. Stephen is very vain about his own hair, he hates having a competitor.

(It does not just DO that, there is great time and financial investment involved in Bryce’s terrific hair)

“He says everything like an insult,” Jared says. “That’s just the way Stephen communicates.”

“He’s nice to Gabe,” Bryce says.

“Have you ever met anyone who isn’t nice to Gabe?” Jared says. “Even I’m nice to Gabe.”

Er. Nice(r).

But seriously, who’s mean to Gabe? Stephen will kill them.

“I wanted it to be like, fully planned out before I told you,” Bryce says. “You’re always so like — you always think shit through, you know? So I wanted to make sure I thought everything through first. And that took like, way more time than I expected it to. And help. This stuff isn’t like, my thing, you know? But it matters to me, so.”

Bryce trying to make sure he got ahead of every road block and set back so it would be perfect by the time Jared found out about it kills me a little.

“It isn’t?” Bryce says. “I mean, I know it isn’t, I just — you don’t think it’s dumb?”

“Of course I don’t think it’s dumb,” Jared says, and it kind of breaks his heart, how relieved Bryce looks.

Mine too.

“I just don’t want anyone thinking they can have hockey or love but not like, both,” Bryce says. “Like, I’d be a fucking mess without you, and I was kind of a mess without hockey too, and I just—“

Bryce going from someone who can’t even say the word gay out loud to willingly becoming the face of an organization meant for LGBTQ youth athletes — this boy.

“I can’t believe you made a secret club just so you could hang out with your mom,” Jared says.

That’s just a BONUS, Jared.

“I’m not—“ Bryce says. “It’s not a secret club!”

Note there is no denial about the hanging out with his mom part.

“You can join the club,” Bryce says, then, quickly, “But you don’t have to or anything. I know you’re not a joiner.”

“Obviously I want to join your secret club,” Jared says.

“Really?” Bryce asks.

“Duh,” Jared says, kicking Bryce’s foot, and Bryce kicks him back, grinning.

Jared’s evolution has been subtler, but of course he makes an exception for Bryce.

Bryce goes to grab his laptop with this jaunty little trot Jared doesn’t think he’s ever seen him do before, and he smiles down at his hands so he isn’t grinning at Bryce when he returns, just in case Bryce thinks he’s laughing at him.

Another evolution: Jared’s awareness of how easily Bryce’s feelings are hurt, and his efforts to make sure he isn’t the one doing it.

“We can take a break,” Bryce says quickly. Jared decides it wouldn’t be constructive to point out they haven’t actually done anything, form-wise. Certainly wouldn’t get either of them what they want, unless what they want is to be frustrated by bureaucracy.

Excellent work NOT cockblocking yourself with forms, Jared.

For the second time Jared gets to see the jaunty run. It’s a little dorky, but Jared won’t tell Bryce that. If he does, he’ll never see it again, and he’s already fond of it.

Jared getting to see parts of Bryce nobody else does, and being SO SO fond of them.

Jared decides to speed up just a little. If Bryce is going to put on a show, he doesn’t really want to miss it.

Like, yes, this is about sex, but also very much a dynamic that plays out across their relationship, which is great, because Jared doesn’t mind that Bryce is the better player/higher profile/bigger name. In fact, all the extra stuff Bryce deals with because of that is shit Jared is very glad not to deal with. But he loves getting to sit back and watch Bryce do his thing.

174. Starstruck (Redux)

There are so many callbacks in this part it might be easier to point out what isn’t one. One of the great things about doing this liveblogging (I reread the first 102 before I restarted this endeavour) — everything is very fresh when it’s time to wrap things up.

It’s also a really nice way for me to come to terms with finishing things — I get to go back and honour every part of the process, which helps, because this part always hurts. This series has been in my life so long it’d be a first grader by now, so it's been particularly hard to say goodbye to it.

It always feels a little strange now, travelling commercial. Well, strange is putting it nicely. Terrible. It feels terrible. Jared has had five hours of sleep and his Starbucks is burnt and his husband is wearing a toque indoors ‘so people won’t recognise me, J’. He looks ridiculous, and if his coffee’s burnt he can’t taste it, probably because there isn’t much coffee involved in that concoction.

Who says Jared isn’t a morning person (everyone who’s met him, and many would say he’s not an afternoon, evening, or night person either)

“You’re that guy from the Canucks, right?” she asks, inexplicably looking at Jared rather than Bryce.

Guess you should have worn a hat like your genius husband, Jared.

“My friends all think you’re really cute,” she says, then runs back to her group without asking for an autograph or anything, greeted with yells and cheers like she just scored them the OT winner.

She is a god among them.

“Don’t look so douchey in my hat now, do I?” Bryce asks.

“You still do,” Jared says. But he looks like a douche with a good idea.

Shoutout to the time Jared wrote a heartfelt card on his first anniversary that used the word ‘douche’ twice.

“I packed an extra,” Bryce says. “Just in case you changed your mind.”

Jared continues to underestimate how often they’ll be recognized, particularly in Vancouver. Bryce prefers to be prepared so he doesn’t have to take pictures and sign shit when he’s just trying to get a coffee.

Once the plane door shuts, Jared rips the hat off his head. “Is it fixable?”

“I don’t know how you can say I’m vain about my hair,” Bryce murmurs. Jared would tell him it’s because he is, but Bryce is fixing his hair for him at the moment, so it doesn’t seem like the most opportune time to argue.

Jared’s less vain about his hair and more vain about his so called dignity, and messy hair is not dignified. But then, neither is Jared, a lot of the time.

Training with you. I come back to Canada in June.

Absolutely not. Jared texts back.

Chaz and Raf already said OK. So did Arvan. So I’m coming.

Too bad Jared texts back. You’re not invited.

“What’re you so happy about?” Bryce mutters.

Julius officially in the crew and Jared is visibly delighted about it.

“Jared!” Bryce says, grabbing his arm.

There’s a few instances of physical communication between the two of them in this part. Big because it’s always in public/in front of others, and that’s something they’re only recently grown comfortable with.

“Did you know Julius was coming?”

“What, Julius is coming to train?” his dad asks. “That’s news to me.”

“I didn’t mention training,” Jared says.

“Shit,” his dad says, and Jared snorts.

Jared got his terrific lying skills from the best.

“Great,” Jared says. “Wonderful. I’m so happy to be home.”

“We’re as happy to have you as you are to be here,” his dad says.

His chirping skills are mostly from his mom, but sometimes Don comes through.

“Is that where Erin’s taking Bryce?” Jared asks.

“As far as I’m aware,” his dad says.

“Well,” Jared says. “Then I guess that’s where I’m going.”

These two. Two planets orbiting one another.

“I tell you I’m proud of you yet?” his dad asks.

“Not in as many words,” Jared says.

“Well, I am,” his dad says. “Proud of Bryce too.”

Look at Don growing too!!

“Me too,” Jared says. “Next season he’s going to — actually, I’ll let him tell you about it over brunch.”

“The charity thing?” his dad says, then, “Shit.”

“Oh for—“ Jared says. “Come on.”

Elaine got ahead of herself, she’s sorry!

Ashley has a ring on her finger. Grace doesn’t, but judging by Raf going red and hissing ‘shut up’ when Jared asks him about it, that’s changing very shortly.

Raf’s trying to find the perfect moment. Chaz did it in their living room and almost wiped out on one of Maia’s toys when he went to kneel.

“You're pregnant," Bryce says.

"No," Ashley says. "Okay, yes, but—"

Everyone had a couple beers (or spritzers) but her over the afternoon. Bryce noticed, Jared, of course, did not.

“To keep the numbers even we thought that maybe Bryce could be on my side?” Ashley asks. “And you two could partner up. But we don’t want to do that if you’re not—“

“Can I wear a suit that matches the bridesmaid dresses?” Bryce asks.

Ash and Chaz worried he’d feel emasculated, being on the bride’s side. And once upon a time he would have, but now he’s just hyped about a pastel suit.

“So it was Chaz you were hiding it from,” Jared says.

Ashley’s mouth flattens. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“It is an excellent instrument,” Chaz says. “You’re just haters.”

If he plays twinkle twinkle little star on that thing one more time…

(And it is always twinkle twinkle little star. Because that is all he knows.)

Jared leans over to Chaz as Bryce and Ashley put their heads together. “Did you steal a toy from your own child?”

“We’re teaching her to share,” Chaz mutters.

Can MAIA play twinkle twinkle little star? No! It’s wasted on her.

Raf proposes, but only after weeks of making everyone around him miserable. To the surprise of absolutely no one but Raf, she says yes. Jared would be more smug about calling it if he hadn’t been the only one blindsided by Raf asking him to be his best man.

Just wait until Jared remembers there’s a speech involved.

Jared’s volunteered to help, mostly to make sure that Julius doesn’t mistake Jared telling him he’s not welcome, and explicitly uninviting him, for actually not wanting him here.

Taking Jared at his word would obviously be a mistake.

“Oh my fucking god,” Jared mutters. Bryce had finally gotten rid of the convertible when he left Calgary, and Jared had figured that was that, because Vancouver’s the opposite of a good place for one. Maybe that was naive. “You’re too old for that car! Also too young!”

Bryce gets out of the front seat, sliding his sunglasses off and tucking them into his polo. He looks like bad porn. Right in front of Jared’s parents, too. Jared glowers at him as he walks up the driveway.

Jared’s anti-convertible gripe turning into ‘how dare you look hot enough that I now want to ride in your dumb car’. In front of his parents, to boot!

“Nice looking car, Bryce,” his dad says.

Bryce grins. “Want to come for a spin?”

“Watch my pots!” his dad says, then literally jogs down the driveway to get in the passenger seat.

Don has dibs though!

Jared exchanges a look with his mom.

“Well,” she says. “It’s nice to see he’s finally gotten over his Bryce related car trauma.”

Growth!

It’s another half hour before Bryce and his mom come back. It doesn’t involve anyone shouting ‘what a rush’ as they come inside, so it’s more subtle than his dad’s return

I love Don.

Jared scoots over, and Bryce lies down beside him. They don’t fit. They never have, really, but now Jared has to put his back against the wall, tangle their legs together so Bryce doesn’t topple right off the bed.

Back in Jared’s high school bed. Every time they do it gets more and more cramped.

“I thought we could get some pizza,” Bryce says. “Sit around at a park or something. It’s a nice day for it.”

“You got a blanket in the trunk too?” Jared says.

“Maybe,” Bryce says. “Not a Flames one, but.”

This boy. This ridiculously romantic boy.

“Absolutely,” Bryce says. As soon as they get outside he jogs ahead. Jared’s about to ask him what he’s in such a hurry for before Bryce opens the passenger door for him, and then he just has to stop everything, take a moment and watch him, golden in the late spring light.

Jared’s still so gone for him.

“You coming?” Bryce asks.

“Yeah,” Jared says. “Yeah, of course I am.”

So gone.

[kiwiana-writes]

Summarise WIPs badly

So this is the part where I normally say “thanks for the tags” but actually it’s a big old middle finger for the tags @cha-melodius @orchidscript @magicandarchery and @anincompletelist because I’m pretty sure most if not all of you know how fucking dire my WIP situation is right now. So this is definitely not all of them—instead it’s a combination of next cabs off the rank and ones I could think of a funny bad summary for. If you can’t see one you love here, it’s not abandoned, it might still be coming sooner than some of these, I’m just not smart enough to summarise it badly 😂

@indestructibleheart and I constantly try to one-up each other in the emotional pain stakes, but in fic form

Enemies to lovers needs way more legitimate hate fucking

I Shoehorned Something Into The Much Ado Epilogue Last Minute And Now I Have To Justify It: a Fandom Trumps Hate Tale

Los Bastardos commit (emotional) insider trading

Rafael is surrounded by disaster queers [bonus points for this being the actual doc title]

You’ve Got Mail: fetish website edition

Henry canonically wants to spend his Crown money in the most spiteful way possible, so why not make that horny and just a little ✨problematic✨

If you have an exhibitionist streak but you’re super fucking famous, have you tried ghosts?

Let’s just bring the monsterfucker undertones of beauty and the beast out into the open

What if I broke everyone’s hearts but in verse

You make one smartass comment on a @sparklepocalypse WIP Wednesday and suddenly you have another WIP of your own, and Henry’s gonna suffer in a whole different way

The number of fics I write per fandom where someone turns into a swan is low, but apparently never zero

What if I change almost everything about everyone’s favourite non-Disney film and hope they like it anyway?

As a bonus to this, I invite anyone reading this to send me asks telling me which ones you wanna see next and/or to get more info about any of the above. You might get a snippet, or a bit of outline, or just some unhinged rambling!

Tagging @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @firenati0n @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @nontoxic-writes @sherryvalli @sparklepocalypse @stereopticons @tintagel-or-cockleshells @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play.

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

i feel like more people would be able to appreciate And When You Fall for what it really is if they dissected the lyrics as they would poetry. despite the fact that it only plays during a fraction of the endings, to me it has to be intentional that it shares the same motif with the main menu, pause screen, and epilogue showcase.

considering you only get it as a credits song during either of the bad endings in the Jeremy Only route, it seems obvious to imagine that the song is tethered to jeremy. i like to consider And When You Fall as an ode to him, from either megan, jenny, or a combination of the two of them.

the first two verses alone are what really fucking gut me, if only because they encapsulate the themes of the entire rest of the game beautifully. "and when you fall; please let me down gently".

as long as jeremy is alive, there isn't a moment where he isn't pushing back against the perceived injustices around him. it could be advance, it could be disrupt, it could be channel one. jeremy is a potent blend of stubborn and moralistic, and that combination is dangerous. it's dangerous for others, and- more importantly in the contexts of when the song is played- it's dangerous for him.

i love the resignation in the word choice used here. "when you fall". not if. it's inevitable. anyone who knows jeremy knows that he's going to kick and scream and fight until he can't anymore. these endings just highlight the sorts of things that force him to stop, be it death at the hands of betterment, or torture so all-consuming that jeremy as we knew him might as well be dead.

ultimately, i pick up a lot of jenny's language in the first two verses alone, when considering who the words are meant to be referring to.

"i can't ask you not to kill yourself for the sake of a better world. i can't ask you not to die. we both know you're going to do that inevitably. just don't break my heart when you do it. please."

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

Nights for the Ask game!! 💕

(I’m still behind on OTRA so don’t want to get spoilers 😭)

I'm doing one night and then another for this ask, and the one night one shot on another ask!!

Favorite Scene: I would say the bit with Liam in the library, where he kisses the top of her head. I have NO idea what chapter that is because I haven't re-read the whole fic in full, but that was the first scene that popped into my head. I also love every scene in the Xaden POV flashback, but especially the Imogen scene because that's precisely how I imagine their pre-apostasy dynamic to be.

Favorite Chapter: The original one shot or the epilogue! I love the dynamic in the original one shot, the confined setting, the lap sitting, all of it!! And in the epilogue, I love the symbolism of them having such a calm moment. Also, ALL of my 14k Xaden POV chapter (I should not have started answering this when AO3 was down, because I have no idea what number that was...8?)

Everything else is going below the cut because I'm yapping!!

Hardest Scene to Write: Mmmm, every scene involving the actual plot? Is that a good answer? Specifically, that first conversation she has with Xaden about Naolin and Brennan and the forcefields. I forced my IRL friend to read it for me because I was SO nervous about the plot making any sense. Also, the scene where Vi reads Brennan's letter, and Xaden helps her through it. I got really hung up on writing that one, because I really wanted the emotional intensity to be there. For some reason, at that point I was really struggling to judge the emotional intensity of my OWN writing, but in everything I've written since that has an intense emotional component (OTRA, looking at you bestie) I've been significantly more confident!

Favorite Character to Write: Nights Xaden my beloved. In terms of comparison to my other fics, I seriously prefer nights Bodhi to OTRA Bodhi.

Favorite Dynamic: Riorgail!! I was constantly on edge about it not being in character for Xaden to be mildly emotionally available, but since decided I don't give a fuck! They were so fun! Especially at the end. Some of the comments I got quoting things Xaden said in those last couple chapters baffled me.

Why I Chose The Title: I can't remember! In terms of nights-verse as the series title, I thought it was a silly in-joke for me, because the whole fic until the very end only takes place at night. This was supposed to limit me and make it shorter so I could get back to writing original stuff/my plane crash AU sooner, but that actually didn't work! Evidently.

A Fun Fact About The Fic: I think this is something most of you partially know, but it was NOT supposed to be a long fic. I wrote the one shot for Alli and Amy's birthday bash, and a lot of people asked for me to continue it. I think they meant like...add a sex scene. But, I started thinking about writing my own long fic, especially because my favorite long fics in the fandom were both on hiatus at that point. Anyway, all that was backstory. The fun fact is that I sort of spontaneously came up with the force fields idea, and then I decided it was bat shit insane and no one would read it, so I told my IRL friend about it, and she encouraged me to write it!

[asukaskerian]

monthly word count + year total

TOTAL FOR DECEMBER: 3 844 words. ..hhghgb i thought it was moooore

POSTED: nothing.

IN PROGRESS: -madatobiizu ABO cherry wine verse (979 words) -bleach pack fuckening ABO verse, baby cuteness (450 words) -bleach suburban ot4 (1 414 words) -bleach psychic wolves (377 words) -bleach bloodsport (624 words)

--

YEARLY TOTAL:

jan: 4 700 feb: 6 014 mar: 4 512 apr: 4 889 may: 1 719 jun: 1 184 jul: 2 271 aug: 1 615 sep: 3 026 oct: 2 109 nov: 4 272 dec: 3 844 TOTAL: 40 155 AVERAGE: 3 346.25

yeah so the downward trend is getting obvious. HHHHHH.

2010: 136 235, average: 11 353/month. ... :X :X :X 2011: 167 675, average: 13 973/month. :X 2012: 332 396, average: 27 700/month. eeeeeeee. 2013: 396 917, average: 33 076/month !!!!!!!! 2014: 315 332, average: 26 276/month ... :X 2015: 206 403, average: 17 200/month. 2016: 127 495, average: 10 625/month. >:( 2017: 80 828, average: 6 736/month. .__. 2018: 128 033, avergage: 10 669/month. FUCK YOU 2017. 2019: 159 609, average: 13 300/month. huh! 2020: 105 791, average: 8 816/month. ... hhghhrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh flops. 2021: 101 776, average: 8 481.33/month. =__= 2022: 73 461, average: 6 121.75/month. hhAHHJZVB WORSE THAN 2017 2023: 40 155, average: 3 346.25/month. this used to be three months' worth. hgh.

FICS I POSTED THIS YEAR:

-Howling Outside Your Door : Grimmichi pack fuckening : Chapters 5, 6 and Epilogue -Cherry wine chapter 8 (madatobiizu ABO) -Ichigo centric sequelette to Howling Outside Your Door (grimmichi pack fuckening ABO)

I did work on suburban ot4 and STILL don't wanna post it in public but otherwise it's still all half-dying fics trying to crawl back to the surface. no new ideas or anything. this *sucks.*

--

have some teasers anyway.

-- cherry wine --

"Don't joke. The cheeky omegas are already coming out of the woodwork as it is."

"Ah… Yes? Your fault for reacting to that girl the other day. Now they think that's your type."

Madara didn't truly change his posture but suddenly he looked a little more tired. "I thought that was why Raiha's niece seemed to have had a personality transplant."

"Aheh." Izuna hadn't even been sure he had noticed. "Mmh. Yes."

Huffing, his brother leaning on one elbow, fist mashed against his mouth grumpily, and glowered at the Lightning envoys who were doing nothing to ask for it.

"I didn't even want her, I just thought she was amusing. Who even wants to take someone to bed that they could break in two sneezing too hard?"

Izuna tried not to look too amused as the Lightning envoys went to sit and the Water ones started up the alley, lest they take it personally.

"Hm, yes, let's not tell people you like dangerous shinobi better, if that's all the same to you. They'd have a much better chance of assassinating you."

Madara threw him an irritated glare that became a watchful glance over Izuna's shoulder. Izuna fanned himself absently and took his time turning to see which of the Water Country envoys had --

Hm.

Hm.

Why was this little blond brat dragging behind to grin at Tobirama.

--

bleach pack fuckening ABO

Ichigo feels so stupidly nervous watching Grimmjow's pack investigate his apartment. His apartment with the huge bath he never uses and the sunken living room-couch area and fuck, all his pillows and blankets are in the cupboards after the grueling wash they all needed last time his pack stayed over. Renji makes a mean cocktail but by god they stain.

He's going to look like he's trying too hard if he gets out the cushions now, isn't he.

"You, uh. Need--"

"You going to close the wards, Shinigami?"

Ugh. Ichigo makes a face at the blond one. He seems to remember he's an asshole.

Wait, they're all assholes. They hang out with Grimmjow. Have to be just to survive him, no doubt.

As he turns to seal the wards again, he catches a glimpse of the man himself, standing wih shoulders loose and hip cocked as he surveys the place. In the crook of his arm is the b-- his -- Ichigo does up the wards.

--

suburban ot4

"Ichigo made a pretty big decision on his own, and he didn't talk to me. He shared it with this other person as a, a done deal thing, and he didn't even talk to me about it."

Grimmjow whistles low and quiet between his teeth. "Yeowch. I'll dig a hole behind the gazebo."

Orihime blinks. "To put his--"

"Corpse, yeah, I'll make it square so it doesn't pop up too much, we just gotta fold him up a bit."

"… Pff."

"Plant some flowers on top to make it look legit with the loose soil. Gorgeous blooms."

Orihime presses both hands against her mouth, and still cackles. "Mean!"

"Or hey, tomatoes, some peppers. Delicious."

She giggles some more. Ah, it fixes nothing, and yet it's like being tickled out of a heavy coat. Freeing, like she can breathe a bit better as it drops around her feet.

"Sounds -- hehe, sounds good. Adzuki beans? Mm, I could make my own paste."

He smirks, just a little bit.

"… Haaaaa. I should probably try talking with him before the… gardening."

Grimmjow-san scoffs. "Quitter."

"Grimmjow-san!"

"Yeah, yeah, maybe. I mean, you're giving up an occasion of growing his namesake on the corpse of the guy who wronged you, which is the coldest, most badass shit, but you do you. Tch'."

… She'll feel a little bad in a minute that she laughed, because strawberry jokes are the lowest of -- hahaha -- hanging fruits.

--

bloodsport (ichigo, charlotte, luppi)

"… What's your names, anyway," he mumbled a fifteen minutes' bullet train ride later. "And do I, um. Pronouns."

Being laughed at was almost more of a relief than it was embarrassing.

"Listen, home is just kinda -- hngh. I mean? Gay people exist--"

The small one's face spasmed; their emotions -- yeah, Ichigo didn't want to notice that howling disbelief or the edge of hysterical hilarity that went with it, thanks.

"They still have to marry and have children. I mean, if they're echt. Duty to the blood. Whatever. So gender stuff is, uh. Yeah. Not really. Fuck."

Askin concealed a grimace a beat too late. The tall one grinned genially, leaning toward Ichigo and Askin with their hands linked sweetly behind their back. "You poor deprived chickies! You confused sweethearts. I am going to open your minds so wide--"

"Ugh," the small one cut in, rolling their eyes, and got a toothy, brilliant smile aimed their way along with a sharp threatening I-will-cut-your-neck gesture.

"To start with! Arrancars have been known to reproduce asexually. In the first couple generations, or maybe when the blood is very strong, but!"

"Didn't Starrk bud out a little girl ten years back."

"That guy's a freak though. Leading to! Two, the gender binary is for squares. Still with me, chickies?"

"Uh. Yeah."

"Three, I'm the womanest woman who has ever womaned."

"Oh." Yeah, good thing Ichigo had asked. Her voice was, uh. Deep. And the contrast between her mannerisms and makeup and her T-shaped frame, thick with muscle--

"But also, transcending the restrictive gender binary inherited from our caveman ancestors back on Earth is excellently beautiful and I am, naturally, first place at it."

--

grimmichi psychic wolves

"So he just… decided to ditch us."

Yylfordt said nothing for a few seconds, and then all at once grabbed a chair and flung it to the floor, along with the clothes and books piled up on it. Nakeem watched the books scatter, sliding along the linoleum.

"What the fuck! What the fuck?! Why would he do that? We're the best, baddest fucking squad, we're fucking black ops at the top of the game, what fucking reason would he have to fucking leave?"

More silence, out loud. Inside their minds everyone was buzzing incoherently, tidbits of denial blurring past.

Makes no sense, what about his pride, we were gonna be so great--

"He hated the sex," Nakeem said.

He got stared at.

"… The heat sex?" Di Roy asks eventually. "But he always said it was the best sex of his life."

Nakeem considered it. Not wrong, but. "Also the worst."

[darkisrising]

Hey hey hey! Ignore this if you’re not vibing with it but…

For the 100 word drabble, how about “water” for BobaDinLuke … either your sex worker AU or Sinatra Songs. ❤️❤️

So, this went on for longer than 100, but I decided to ride it out. I'm not quite sure if this is it for this, or if there's a longer story to be had here, but here's what I've got. Sinatra-verse, set post "That's how deep it goes" but before the epilogue to "In other words" Hope you like it!! Water

The first time Luke pulled a disappearing act, he’d only just started being able to walk to the fresher unassisted. Which is why it was a shock when one morning, as Boba was plating a breakfast of cooked eggs for Finn and keeping a suspicious eye on the bowl of whole, uncooked ones that had a tendency to become airborne whenever his back was turned (despite Grogu already having eaten three, and that’s more than enough for one morning, you womp rat) Din came running in, claiming that not only was Luke’s bed empty, but the Jedi was nowhere to be found.

It was impossible. Unthinkable.

And yet, that didn’t stop them from finding Luke after an hour of searching, standing in the pouring rain two klicks deep in the forests of Yavin, his chin tilted up to the sky as the water turned the dirt below his feet to mud, splattering his ankles dark with muck.

“What are you doing out here?” Din had asked, inching closer, his voice an achingly gentle rumble through his helmet’s vocoder.

Luke hadn’t answered—even if he knew, it was clear he couldn’t tell them from the dreamy spice-haze that turned the blue of his eyes into something too far gone for words—but he’d let himself be led away easily and then, when his legs had given out, had let himself be folded into Din’s beskar-covered arms to be carried back to the temple where it was dry and safe.

Now they know better. They keep watch, they use all the tricks of their respective bounty hunter trades to maintain surveillance on Luke at all times. And even so, for all that Luke spends most of his time unconscious, drug-addled, or a combination of both, he still manages to give them the slip more often than Boba’s ever admitting to anyone outside of their clan.

They’ve found him standing in gullies, on his knees in streams, and collapsed across thick, green foliage. Boba wakes sometimes in a cold sweat, remembering that first glimpse of delicate, pale toes peeking out into infinity as he’d lifted his head to follow the point of Finn’s finger the one time Luke had somehow managed to make his way onto the temple’s roof.

“There’s a pattern to it,” Din had claimed one night when they’d bedded down in the room beside Luke’s, and they’d watched, tense and silent, the video feed of Luke’s bed that Boba’s vambrace on the nightstand was projecting onto the wall. “He only wanders when it rains.”

Boba had snorted. “It’s a fucking rainforest moon. It’s always raining.” By then, Boba was tired, frustrated, and so his words came out meaner than he really meant them to be.

Rather than rise to the bait of Boba’s tone, Din had agreed with a sigh. “True,” he’d conceded with far more grace than Boba would have if he’d been facing weeks of Boba’s foul moods, and it makes a swell of gratitude and shame rise like yeasty bread in his chest, pushing against his ribs until they were aching with it, spilling out the crevices, feeding into the spaces that once were empty until he’s filled, choking on it.

Boba doesn’t deserve Din; he really doesn’t. And even though he’s never been one to believe in a grand cosmic scale of justice like some societies he’s interacted with across the galaxy— that there’s an invisible roster of good and bad that is tallied up so that boons can be doled out and punishment meted to beings that are deemed worthy of either—he knows the quiet grace that Din has leant to him these long, languishing weeks of Luke’s recovery is more than he’s owed over a lifetime of questionable deeds led by even more questionable morals.

Not that he could ever say as much to Din, who would only scoff and tell Boba he’d better check his buy'ce hasn’t been cutting his O2 levels on him. Instead, Boba had reached across the bedsheet to take Din’s hand in his own, their fingers curling together with hard-won habit, and they’d watched the feed that flickered across the fractured expanse of the temple’s wall.

“Rain, huh?” Boba had said with his eye trained forward after enough time had passed to soften their silence into a comfortable one.

Din had shrugged. “It’s a thought.”

Boba had squeezed his hand, apology and affection whittled down to this one gesture: the smallest of movements, muscles working in the minutest of ways. “So we’ll keep a sharper eye on him during the next storm,” he’d said, knowing that Din understood all he didn’t say when he’d felt Din’s hand squeezing his in kind.

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (21-27 Apr 2024)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

😊 rounding third, sliding home. (througheden) - 68K, enjoyable steddie AU with pro baseball player Steven & massage therapist Eddie

🥰 Daddy Issues (His Boy Next Door #39) (RJ Moray) - reread; just a big fan of Jack & Channon & their ongoing story!

🥰 Common Ground (His Boy Next Door #40) (RJ Moray) - LOVE that Jack & Ewan are finding some common ground - really love that this series is showing how two people who don't particularly care for each other can work to find connection for the sake of the people they DO love

😍 ACT-verse series (ann_anotherthing) - truly outstanding series about middle-aged Steddie getting a 2nd chance romance after their first one flamed out 25 yrs earlier. Full series is 117K but it starts with A Certain Type (54K), which is a fully complete story with satisfying HEA - the rest are flashback fics or wonderfully indulgent epilogue/vignettes, full of fluffy and delicious porn. The author confesses to basically turning them into her middle-aged OCs but 1) I think her projections of their characters in middle-age with these particular life experiences seem reasonably plausible and more importantly 2) I don't fucking care because this story and these characters (main & supporting) are AMAZING.

💖💖 +227K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

When you stop being a ghost in a shell (Bittersweet_in_Boston) - MCU: Stucky, 12K - Hydra finds Steve in 1952 & then they have The Asset and The Captain. Except they really should have known better than to ever let them see one another.

Where the Sunflowers Grow (AidaRonan) - Stranger Things: Buckingham, 30K - incredible Chrissy recovery fic with bonus Buckingham. Just. So Fucking Good.

Early Returns (rageprufrock) - Inception: Arthur/Eames, 15K - fabulous AU where Arthur's an editor who has everything on lock, dammit & Eames is a reporter who wants to mess him up. Also the newsroom is nothing but a high-pressure high school when it comes to gossip.

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Murdoch Mysteries - s16, e14-20

Um, Actually - s9, e5; s1, e3, 4, 6-20

Game Changer - s6, e6

Smartypants - s1, e1

Ghosts (US) - s3, e9

D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Untapped Rage" (s21, e16)

D20: Adventuring Party - "Honor the Cock" (s16, e16)

Dead Boy Detectives - s1, e1-3

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #13: Of the Gentle Sea

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep13 "Of the Gentle Sea"

Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #14: There is an Ocean Vaster Than This One

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep14 "There is an Ocean Vaster Than This One"

99% Invisible - The Power Broker #04: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

What Next: TBD - The Internet Archive Endangered

⭐ The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Tree Week: A Tasty Tale about Meyer Lemons

⭐ The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Tree Week: Love Letters

The Sporkful - Priya Krishna Writes The Kids Cookbook She Wished She'd Had

The Allusionist - 193. Word Play 3: Lemon Demon

WikiHole - Cicadas…LIVE (with Matt Rogers, Carl Tart and Claudia O'Doherty)

In Defense of Fandom - Season 2 Episode 3: Fanfiction fixit data

Vibe Check - Her Mediocrity Cannot Touch Me

Code Switch - How Jewish Communities Are Divided Over Support of Israel

Short Wave - Beavers Can Help With Climate Change. So How Do We Get Along?

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Tree Week: Oh, the places you will go …. to see these notable trees

⭐ Decoder Ring - Making Real Music for a Fake Band

Ologies with Alie Ward - Columbidology (PIGEONS? YES) Part 2 with Rosemary Mosco

All Songs Considered - Cruel songs for the cruelest month

Pop Culture Happy Hour - What Makes A Good Sex Scene?

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Tree Week: Killer Trees with Mary Roach

Shedunnit - Agatha Christie's Many Houses

⭐ 99% Invisible #579 - Towers of Silence

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat: Sound and Music Talkback Extravaganza: The Sound and the Fury: Music is All Around Us Volume 1

Dear Prudence - My love language with friends is touch, but it makes my partner jealous. Help!

Worlds Beyond Number - Fireside Chat for Chapter 1 of The Wizard the Witch and the Wild One

⭐ Endless Thread - The Jackie Show

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for LEVELING UP (1 to 2)

Today, Explained - Honey, We Saved the Bees

Wait Wait… Don't Tell Me! - Renée Elise Goldsberry

⭐ Hit Parade - The Bridge: What Made Them Beautiful

History Is Sexy - Episode #86 - Napoleon III

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

'80s Pop Party

Village People radio

[rabbitechoes]

there were some cool singles this week!!! especially the new FKA twigs single holyyyy shit. also, my write-ups this week are a little messy because i was veryyyy busy, but maybe i'll go back and edit them soon :3 click here for last week's post!!

also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

"World Tour (Aquafina)" | "Lightyears" - Juice WRLD

◇ released: Sept. 9, 2024 ◇ featured on The Party Never Ends (not yet released) ◇ genres: trap, emo rap

I wasn't going to write about this because it's yet another posthumous album from Juice WRLD, but holyyyyy fuck look at that cover. Like what an aesthetic nightmare. I would be rolling in my grave. Genuinely one of the most visually unappealing album covers I've seen in a while. Anyway, these songs aren't anything special.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"The Day the Party Died" - Kendrick Lamar

◇ released: Sept. 11, 2024 ◇ genres: conscious hip hop, west coast hip hop

On 9/11, Kendrick Lamar dropped a track on his Instagram - I fucking hate this practice btw, but whatever - that was untitled, but was coined "The Day the Party Died" by various media outlets. This is Lamar's first piece of new music since both his dominant victory against Drake in their beef and him being announced as the performer at next year's Super Bowl Halftime Show. This song serves as a nice epilogue to the events of this year. It's meditative and a bit remorseful. Lamar laments the state of hip hop and how it makes a spectacle of these feuds. He also takes accountability for contributing to this, it's not exactly a rebuke of his actions, but more-so a reflection. Is Lamar in any position to make these observations? That's up to the listener. I found it compelling personally. Lamar is not the collective moral compass, he is not our savior after all. Hopefully this signals the end of this chapter and Lamar can move on to something else soon. The party is dead.

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"Talk talk featuring troye sivan" - Charli xcx & Troye Sivan

◇ released: Sept. 12, 2024 ◇ featured on Brat and It's Completely Different But Also Still Brat (not yet released) ◇ genres: dance-pop, future house

Charli xcx is gearing up for Brat autumn it seems with this new version of "Talk Talk" with Troye Sivan - right in time for their joint tour together. This is fun. I really love the house elements on this remix, but Sivan's presence doesn't do much for me. Alongside this single the announcement of a full Brat remix album was announced so that's exciting! Not the best remix, but I'm still excited to hear whatever remixes are coming down the pipeline

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"Lowdown" - Michael Kiwanuka

◇ released: Sept. 12, 2024 ◇ featured on Small Changes (not yet released) ◇ genres: psychedelic soul, psychedelic rock

Michael Kiwanuka is gearing up for a new album later this year. These two new tracks, both parts of "Lowdown," are sleek psychedelic soul cuts. They sound timeless and Kiwanuka's voice is so lovely on the ears. The instrumentation is also pretty great, especially on the second part which is just an instrumental. It delves more into a psychedelic rock sound, but it's so mesmerizing. The strings are a nice touch as well. I'm really loving this, super excited for his new album.

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"Run It" - clipping.

◇ released: Sept. 12, 2024 ◇ genres: industrial hip hop, acid techno, hardcore hip hop, industrial techno

I'll be honest, I've never been the biggest clipping. fan, but that could very well be attributed to a lack of trying. Hearing "Run It," it might be time to give them another shot. This track is awesome. I love the beat here, leaning into both industrial hip hop and techno sounds to make this really cold atmosphere. There's just so much energy to this track. I also really love the verses from Daveed Diggs here, which surprised me because I believe his rapping was the reason I didn't click with them in the first place. I was probably being dumb, I'll realize it sooner or later. Anyway, this is an incredibly solid cut and here's hoping I'll become a full-blown clipping. fan in the near future.

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"Nobody Knows" - Shawn Mendes

◇ released: Sept. 13, 2024 ◇ featured on Shawn (not yet released) ◇ genre: americana

What the hell is he doing? Shawn Mendes's weird pivot to rugged Americana music is awkward as hell to say the least. He's not a convincing singer-songwriter, it just sounds like he's being obnoxiously moody and melodramatic. Don't have any high hopes for this new record, but what the hell, it's not like I was anticipating much from him anyway.

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"Eusexua" - FKA twigs

◇ released: Sept. 13, 2024 ◇ featured on Eusexua (not yet released) ◇ genre: art pop, trance, progressive trance

FKA twigs has returned with the lead single and title track to her upcoming album Eusexua. If this single and the snippet that plays the beginning of the incredible music video attached to it is any indication, we might be in for an unbelievable record. Twigs has an amazing track record and that continues to be the case here. This is music that feels necessary, it just feels like you need to hear it. You need to enter the soundscapes Twigs creates with her music - there's not much like it. The production this track is unreal and twigs is as ethereal as ever. It's so sensual and honest in a way that feels a bit too real. It's like she's singing directly to you, even if she's speaking of her own experiences in an extremely visceral way. No one is doing it like her and that remains to be seen on this song. I'm sort of in awe. I was, of course, expecting it to be great, but this is magnificent. Please go out of your way to listen to this track and, better yet, watch the music video as well. Eusexua is my most anticipated album of next year, which isn't saying much, but trust me it means a lot. Can't wait to dive into this world.

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"I'm His, He's Mine" - Katy Perry feat. Doechii

◇ released: Sept. 13, 2024 ◇ featured on 143 (not yet released) ◇ genre: pop rap, atlanta bass

On this latest miserable outing for Katy Perry, she drags Doechii down with her as she sleepwalks through this generic pop rap cut built around a boring sample flip. There's no big payoff to this track at all, it just kinda keeps going until it doesn't. It's like a song written with no goals in mind. God, 143 is shaping up to be one of the most failed attempts at a comeback of all time. This is her Man of the Woods - if Witness wasn't that already. This song also comes after that abysmal podcast interview where she deflected criticism with her reuniting with Dr. Luke which makes it doubly embarrassing. It's not like he's making these songs good, they suck! You're embarrassing yourself. I also miss when artists would actually talk to real journalists instead of feckless, good-vibes podcasters. That's a conversation for another time though and a much more interesting one to have than anything surrounding this song.

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"ALL RED" - Playboi Carti

◇ released: Sept. 13, 2024 ◇ featured on I Am Music (not yet released) ◇ genre: trap, southern hip hop, hardcore hip hop

After gimmicky mysterious posting, several weird cases surrounding his Opium label, and much anticipation Playboi Carti has returned with a new single. I ... like this? His lower pitched rapping took a second to get used to, but I think I enjoy it. This just isn't the strongest song to release as the lead. It's a bit too one-note to leave much of an impression. Whatever he does, it's sure to be polarizing, but I'm curious to hear how I Am Music shapes out.

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"Dancing in the Flames" - The Weeknd

◇ released: Sept. 13, 2024 ◇ featured on Hurry Up Tomorrow (not yet released) ◇ genre: synthpop, dance-pop, freestyle, synthwave

After the letdown that was The Idol, The Weeknd has returned with the lead single to his upcoming album Hurry Up Tomorrow - the final part of a trilogy including both After Hours and Dawn FM. He leans heavily into synthpop on this cut and it works pretty well. I don't think this is the strongest lead single, especially considering the tracks that lead into his previous two, but it's not a bad song at all. Looking forward to this one. I feel like he's at the apex of his career with these last two records and I hope he can finish on a strong note.

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[theputterer]

Good Things In 2023

It’s that time of year again! Time to remember all the good things that happened in 2023. I’ve done this since 2017, and highly recommend doing this as a fun way to reflect (and to have something for future reference when you are feeling Down.)

woof ok here we go

PERSONAL

I visited two countries I haven't been to before: the Netherlands and Iceland!

The Netherlands: mostly Amsterdam but did also pop down to The Hague for a day. Did the Van Gogh Museum, the Anne Frank House, the Rijksmuseum, the Bloemenmarkt, a canal boat tour, the Royal Palace, the Mauritshuis.

Iceland: I was there for less than 48 hours but I saw THE NORTHERN LIGHTS!!!! they were subtler than I expected but so cool. also did the Perlan Museum and a Lava Show, which ruled.

Related: I turned 30 this year!

My dear friend Sam came to visit me in Dublin in June! The highlight of her visit was going with her to see Hozier at Malahide Castle.

Speaking of which, Hozier dropped UNREAL UNEARTH which isn't personal, per se, but is very personal to me

My sister visited me in November! We squeezed a lot in her time here, but highlights were Glendalough, the Hill of Tara, and the Galway Christmas Market.

A few aunts went on a trip to Ireland this fall and I joined them for a bit up in Donegal, as well as a day trip to Derry, which I'd not been to before.

Completely fucking forgot about this but I did write a 158k word long ROGUE ONE / FRINGE AU, ENDLESS FORMS MOST BEAUTIFUL. it was a real fuckin bitch to finish, let me tell you that

I got really into MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE over the summer (don't ask) and wrote a couple short pieces inspired by the most recent movie, DEAD RECKONING - PART ONE: LADY LAZARUS and WORTHY THE NAME OF SIR KNIGHT.

I jumped back on my bullshit in October and wrote a long, extended epilogue to my BINARY STAR SYSTEMS trilogy: TWO DESERTS. the way the series ended was always correct and good but it was fun to write this extended epilogue focusing on the fallout, the question of what it's like to live past the end of your myth.

Anything bolded below is something I particularly enjoyed and recommend. 

MOVIES

2023 movies I saw and liked:

M3GAN

KNOCK AT THE CABIN

65

BONO AND THE EDGE, A SORT OF HOMECOMING WITH DAVID LETTERMAN

DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES

RENFIELD

THREE MUSKETEERS: D'ARTAGNAN

JOHN MULANEY: BABY J

SISU

THE LITTLE MERMAID

SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER VERSE

ASTEROID CITY

INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING - PART ONE

BARBIE

OPPENHEIMER

PAST LIVES

ELEMENTAL

A HAUNTING IN VENICE

CHEVALIER

KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON

BOTTOMS

THE ROYAL HOTEL

DREAM SCENARIO

ANATOMY OF A FALL

THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES

EILEEN

NAPOLEON

GODZILLA MINUS ONE

FERRARI

2022 movies I saw and liked:

TAR

THE LOST CITY

WOMEN TALKING

TV

THE LAST OF US

PEAKY BLINDERS

BOOKS

super embarrassing how few books I read this year:

"Survival of the Richest: Escape Fantasies of the Tech Billionaires" by Douglas Rushkoff

"Donegal Folk Tales" by Joe Brennan

"Listen to the Land Speak: A Journey into the Wisdom of What Lies Beneath Us" by Manchan Magan

"Hell Bent" by Leigh Bardugo

"The Book of M" by Peng Shepherd

"The World We Make" by NK Jemisin

"The Echo Wife" by Sarah Gailey

"Daisy Jones and the Six" by Taylor Jenkins Reid

"White Cat, Black Dog: Stories" by Kelly Link

"Yellowface" by RF Kuang

"Ithaca" by Claire North

"Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI" by David Grann

"A Heart That Works" by Rob Delaney

"Rebecca" by Daphne du Maurier

"The Crying Book" by Heather Christie

"In the Dream House" by Carmen Maria Machado

"Rogues: True Stories of Grifters, Killers, Rebels, and Crooks" by Patrick Radden Keefe

"Fleabag" by Phoebe Waller-Bridge

"The Hurricane Wars" by Thea Guanzon

OTHER GOOD THINGS

*some of these things are Good as in well-written or well-made, but maybe not Good in topic.

"Eurydice" by Adrienne Su

"What Happens to a School Shooter's Sister?" by Jennifer Gonnerman for The New Yorker. A high school student murders his parents and several students at his school, and his sister is left to pick up the pieces. really powerful story on unconditional love.

"A Friend Died, Her Novel Unfinished. Could I Realize Her Vision?" by Leslie Jamison for The New Yorker. the grief of losing not only a dear friend but her art as well.

"Fuck you, I don't know?"

Werner Herzog pronounces Eeyore.

George Washington's Dream for America, an SNL sketch.

Judi Dench performs Shakespeare.

"Walking Brittany Home" by Devin Faraci for Washington Post. a really beautiful piece on death and love.

This thread on the struggle of trying to be fashionable in Ireland.

"The Return of the Marriage Plot: Why everyone is so eager for men and women to get hitched" by Rebecca Traister for The Cut.

"We Were Never Supposed to See Our Own Faces This Much" by Lola Christina Alao for Dazed Digital. on social media and personal reflection.

sunwoof

this story about Jimmy Buffett I loved

"She Wasn't Able to Get an Abortion. Now She's A Mom. Soon She'll Start Seventh Grade" by Charlotte Alter for Time. the cruelty is the point.

had a pilot named Ken yesterday and he introduced himself by saying his job is plane

"Cillian Murphy might be the star of a massive movie atm but to me he will always be the guy that showed up in the rain to our abortion rights marches"

"The 'Troubling Reverberations' at the End of OPPENHEIMER, Explained" by Bilge Ebiri for Vulture. it's an absolutely devastating ending, but the fact remains: there was no other way to end it.

this obituary for the great Sinéad O'Connor.

Kiké Hernandez returned to the Dodgers!

this behind the scenes video from the filming of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING - PART ONE where Tom Cruise's co-stars watch him drive a motorcycle off a cliff.

"How Christopher Nolan Learned to Stop Worrying and Love AI" by Maria Streshinsky for Wired. good interview with Nolan, one of my favorite filmmakers / artists. (anyone who's ever read anything I've written is probably like yes, this is very obvious.)

"The Perils and Promises of Penis-Enlargement Surgery" by Ava Kofman for The New Yorker. an absolutely BONKERS but super important piece!

a new ending to RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, lmao

"The Return of Ryan Gosling" by Zach Baron for GQ. really great profile writing going on here!

"LOST Illusions: The Untold Story of the Hit Show's Poisonous Culture" by Maureen Ryan for Vanity Fair. LOST is one of my favorite shows and has been super influential on my work. (again, this is probably very obvious). this piece is devastating in how it reveals the terrible racism and sexism behind the scenes of a show I have loved. important.

Henry Kissinger died this year (GOOD THINGS BABYYY) and this piece by Nick Turse, which came out in May, is a good explainer on why that's such good news: "Kissinger's Killing Fields".

"Talking With 'Swiftie Dads' at a Taylor Swift Concert" by Eileen Cartter for GQ. I thought this was very sweet.

The New York Times had an interactive feature about Connie Chung and her impact on young Chinese-American women, particularly the ones named after her. I love this video of her meeting some of them.

"Will A.I. Become the New McKinsey?" by Ted Chiang for The New Yorker. Chiang is best known as the writer of STORY OF YOUR LIFE which was adapted into ARRIVAL, so it's wise to listen to him when it comes to tech and science.

Loved this speech Mark Hamill gave about Carrie Fisher at her Hollywood Walk of Fame induction ceremony.

Accents white people can still do.

this absolutely incredible slapstick esque unintentional comedy scene.

As always, tagging anyone who’d like to do this!

@magalis @callioope @earnestfeeling @illuminahsti @fortysevenswrites @vaderkat @leaiorganas @garethsedwards @rifle-yes @buffyrat @alittlemomentum @i-am-slain @rogue-rook

[cloud-somersault]

Just wanted to comment that I found your post about the five pillars of magic and who is proficient in which so incredibly interesting! I was actually kinda surprised that Little Star had no experience in Shadow because I’ve gotten the impression that Macaque had more of the role of teacher with them than Wukong did at that time, and he had MK delve into it a little, but I guess the circumstances were VERY different with Macaque actually training Star but manipulating MK to siphon his powers when they first met (actually intrigued about your take on that in the Constellations verse) but obviously you as the author have more info on the characters than we as the audience do.

Poor MK is the only one not proficient in an area yet 😭 but tbh considering he’s so young compared to the rest of them and has been training officially for even less (I guess approximately a year? Maybe more or less? Idk the timelines help) then I think he’s doing real good! My guess would be that he’s gonna master either Celestial or possibly Elemental first since I guess that’s some of what Wukong had been teaching him so far and we know MK takes after him a lot in certain areas? Plot twist would be if you have some mega angst planned and he ends up mastering Death first (I remember Wukong mentioning that the golden flowers of his birth might have appeared in the Underworld too?), orrrr maybe he’ll end up being a Jack of All Trades, Master of None? Anyway MK baby I believe in you 🧡

Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked that post, I should reblog it more so others can see 😭Macaque did have a strong role in training Little Star, but the prerequisites for training in shadow are difficult...and not exactly something that sounds fun. To Little Star, magic is fun first and foremost. I don't think they'd be interested (or patient enough) to train in shadow magic. Macaque would respect that.

Huh. 🤔If I had to explain in a constellations!way or how I see it happening, Macaque was manipulating the shadows in MK's heart and mind, pulling on that emotion of wanting to be a great student, powerful and cool enough so that Monkey King would be impressed by him. We know, at this point, that MK was wondering if Wukong thought he'd made a mistake in choosing MK as his successor. Macaque would've honed in on that feeling of inadequacy and used it to his advantage.

So, then, Macaque could give power to MK in that way. Once Macaque can control/see the shadows in someone's heart and mind, it's exceptionally easy for him to manipulate them. Macaque can give them nightmares, conversely, he can also prevent nightmares by this same manipulation (this will come up later). I'd like to think that he needs to have some feeling to go off of, y'know. A way to get his foot in the door. Training with MK in season 1 was Macaque finding that way in, and he grabbed hold of it, and...the reset of the episode happened. That's how I'd explain it, anyway. So MK doesn't know shadow magic formally. He's just felt it and somewhat controlled it...kind of.

No, MK is not proficient...yet. In Constellations, the first three seasons of the show took place in two years. Right now, in the epilogue, we are in...May! Of the third year (yes i have this fic planned down to the timeline, leave me alone). The epilogue will end in, roughly, September. MK will be training that whole time.

So he's been training for about two and a half years. I'd say he's making great progress! He's mastered the 72 transformations, and once he's directed his celestial magic to interact with all of the elements, he'll have crossed another milestone. For magic proficiency, we have to think...smaller. Like by individual spells. For an immortal, time is nothing. For MK? Every second counts, and he's learning fast. He's great at cloud-somersaulting already after his first attempt. That's fucking astounding since it even took Wukong some time to master. You're right that he's doing great!!

MK is focusing on celestial and elemental right now, yes. This will come up in chapter 6 of the epilogue. And! In chapter 3, Macaque and Wukong discussed the order of teaching MK the elements. In their minds, that means MK has a solid foundation in celestial magic, enough so that they can push him to do more elemental things.

Interesting that you'd mention death magic...what a plot twist that would be, indeed. 😁We'll have to see what happens. But! I do love the idea of MK being a jack of all trades. I just love characters like that. But, if I were to put a celestial primate in that category right now, it'd be Macaque. But that's just because he loves magic so much.

Wukong did say that MK's birth made golden flowers bloom in every realm (this is very important) along with an earthquake. So! Golden flowers from MK's birth are in the Underworld! Wonder what happened with them, huh.

Maybe we'll find out~ 😉

[noonaishere]

over the past few weeks of keeping up with music of the heart, i can’t help but think that she was wrong for being so mean to him. i absolutely understand her pain because i went through something extremely similar, but after all these years she still so mad at him. hongjoong and jongho seem to understand something i don’t, so i’m pretty sure i’m just a little slow or something 😭 he made a mistake, yes, but he didn’t do it on purpose :( maybe i’m just soft because it’s yuyu, but i’m finding it so difficult to not find her slightly annoying 😭😭

but i’m so obsessed with online/offline 😩 your writing in general is just 😩😩😩 i read work of art even though i don’t know anything about nct just because i knew it’d be good due to it being your writing 😋 (i read it in two days, i couldn’t stop 😭)

sorry if i upset you by calling t/n a little annoying, but i just don’t really understand her :( i do really love your fics and can’t wait to see where they go <33

Hii! Sorry for taking days to respond I was busy cleaning for a day (😭😭😭) and then I spent a day trying to figure out how I wanted a character's "monster" form to look for an original book and I think I got it (🥰🥰🥰)

I don't want to say too much about t/n's mental state, because we're not totally done exploring all of why she feels the way she feels, but it has a lot to do with: what happened was really traumatic + she hasn't seen him since it happened and has basically been working to survive since then, so (=?) she was just never able to deal with it in the tiniest bit (since something that would have been really helpful - therapy - costs money that she had to spend on food and rent). And I'm not upset, lol. I don't mind if you don't like her atm, we haven't even finished the drama of t/n's family so don't worry, you might still end up liking her.

And don't worry about being soft on yuyu, this whole fic has been an experiment in "how do I make a reader hate a male lead and then like him once the reader has forgiven him" but I knew I'd start with a handicap because no one wants to hate loveable yuyu lol.

I'm glad that you like my writing 😭😭🖤🖤 while I like how these fics came out ("came out" since, they're all finished and just waiting in the queue until their post time lol) I wrote them after I experienced some pretty intense burnout, so I was really worried I had lost the ability to write. I was reading an older fic I never finished and my writing feels so different to me now. I'm hoping I can recapture my older style at some point (or, alternately, continue to improve). I have a Loki (smut) fic on my AO3 that I really liked the style of, and I read it now kind of like "…how the fuck did I do that?" lol

Did you like Work of Art? I was like "I've never written a smau, what if I just write a fun little indulgent thing?" and I wanted to try writing a "man verses self" story since I hadn't done one yet, and that's the product lol. I still really like that y/n (you can tell because I kept doing epilogues months or years later 🤣)

Thank you for all the complements! 🥰🥰🥰 I hope you keep enjoying my fics 🖤🖤🖤

[waltwhitmansbeard]

hello! a few hours from now, the epilogue of go on, claim my heart, the my fair lady sequel, is gonna be posting, so i wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who has stopped by my lil corner of the internet to read what has become my largest writing project to date. i had no idea what i was getting myself into when i first started writing mfl, especially not half a year of feverish, near-obsessive plotting and writing and rewriting this story that would not leave me alone. a lot of things fell to the wayside as i wrote mfl and gocmh, and i don't regret any of it, because i can safely say that this is the writing that i am the most proud of.

i want to thank @romeoandjulietyouwish in particular for her graciously allowing me to play in her sandbox. no one's mind works like lis's, and as i have said before, she comes up with so many fucking stellar ideas that she leaves crumbs for the rest of us, so i'm super grateful that she's so kind about letting us take those crumbs and make them our own. mfl wouldn't exist without you, lis, so thank you, thank you, thank you.

i also could not wrap this series without calling out the two best readers a girl could ask for, @ravendruid and @crispysnake. y'all are fucking unhinged, but it is the exact energy that every writer needs to keep going. i can't tell you the number of times a drabble or chapter posted that i wasn't particularly fond of that you two completely changed my opinion about. you two are the kindest, most enthusiastic, most generous readers, and i'm so lucky that you're also my friends. please continue to be absolutely batshit in my tags; it's the only thing that keeps me going.

(also @otterlycaleb made fucking ART about this shit, what the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK—)

a hopefully but probably not quick note about the future of mfl: today, like literally right now, i am in the middle of my first day of work at a brand new job, one that will require me to move my entire life halfway across the country, back to my hometown. it is big and scary and exhilarating and everything i've been hoping for, and i feel so, so lucky. this does mean that for the next little bit, while i learn a new job and pick up my shit and drive cross-country, i will probably be less able to write long or short fics, so i hope y'all don't mind me shutting up for the first time in forever. that being said, while i have absolutely no plans to write a third installment in the mfl 'verse, that doesn't mean there isn't more to say (as y'all will find out in like three and a half hours lol). i fully plan on still writing tmwiw drabbles set before, during, and after mfl/gocmh, and i will still be accepting prompts and requests for drabbles set in this 'verse until i say otherwise. mfl will always occupy an inordinate amount of my brain space, and i refuse to not share that with y'all.

additionally! starting very soon (like, maybe tomorrow? we'll see how busy i am, lol), i will be posting to ao3 the entirety of the mfl 'verse in chronological order. every chapter, one-shot, and drabble, in the order that they happened. another massive shout-out to @ravendruid for being my own personal lore-keeper on this; she read every single mfl chapter, tmwiw drabble, and one-shot to help me get this shit in order. the ao3 work will be titled i've come a long, long way (also from "my fair lady" by kaleo, are we seeing a pattern here?), and the plan is to post five chapters a day until the whole thing is up (although, again, with the moving this might get a lil wibbly wobbly). there will be some additional proofreading edits to these chapters (sometimes i can't spell!!) but nothing about the substance of these chapters will change, so this is just for people who like their stories to be told chronologically (fucking weirdos). this work will only be available on ao3, although it will be linked on my mfl masterpost.

ok, i think i am done for now. i have taken up enough of your time, in so many more ways than one. thank you again, if you read every single installment of the mfl saga or if you just read a paragraph. all of it means the world to me, and i know i never would have continued past the first chapter if i weren't part of such a wonderful, loving, generous, brilliant community. i've only been watching critical role for just over a year now, part of the fandom for even less than that, and i can't believe i haven't always had y'all in my life. please continue to love and support each other, and thank you for loving and supporting me.

[adelaidedrubman]

Can I please see some america’s sweetheart epilogue

OF COURSE YOU CAN JESS!! thank you @poetikat for asking about this one as well:3 i think i’ve talked about it enough most everyone knows but america’s sweetheart verse is a no collapse au in which jestiny becomes a famous true crime novelist/media darling following her experiences with the cult. excerpt from the pov of her long suffering publicist below. warning for drug usage nonspecific

In her nearly twenty years as a publicist, Andrea had also watched many a client sit on a nearly identical set trailer’s lumpy couch and hang their head as they confessed to some sordid fact they needed her to spin. 

She’d listened as actors who’d built images on happy marriages tearfully recounted strings of hidden infidelity soon to hit tabloids, as socialites known for selfless activism whispered frantic excuses for designer fashion labels littered across the withdrawal pages of nonprofit bank accounts, as athletes lauded for heroism speculated with faces hidden beneath ball caps what records might still be spared the dreaded asterisks of a recent drug screen.

Andrea had spent most of her career — most of her life — assuming the worst, most intolerable emotion a person could feel was shame. 

“I mean, for fuck’s sake, Andrea,” Jestiny grumbled as she ripped half a page from the script of Urges from God, folding over the jagged edges then tucking it into a neat roll.

After working with Jestiny, Andrea had learned that wasn’t always the case.

“It’s really —” Jestiny paused without blinking as she dipped her head to line her left nostril up with her makeshift straw and inhale her crushed mystery pill. “It’s really not my fault that you don’t have hobbies.” 

Working with Jestiny had taught Andrea that for some people, the worst feeling was actually boredom.