#fuckable bear

[ierotits]

important poll

[isdalinarhot]

YES my stomach sticks out past my boobs YES this is great for my dysphoria because it allows me to pretend my full blown tits are just extra juicy moobs yes god loves me by making me big and huge and large and fat <3 I love you My Body once I go on T I will love you even more <3 <3 <3

[feckedstrats]

Fantastic news ive looked at seb long enough and now i get it i get why yere all obsessed w that twink from red bull

[yallemagne]

Whoops, I just realized that basically everyone in my Dracula lineup has green or brown eyes... Mina and Lucy have green... Jonathan, Arthur, and Quincey have brown. Renfield has either depending on the time of day but it's mostly dark brown. Jack doesn't have irises.

The only one with blue eyes is Van Helsing and he's also coincidentally the only man I refuse to ship. I think I'm projecting unfuckability and abstinence onto blue eyes because I got them ijoegrpj.

And then like? Even my first TPoDG designs. Henry has green and Basil has brown. What the FUCK is going on.

[cringefailfagcat]

it makes no sense that hes canonically kind of built (has ‘exercising’ as one of his weaknesses) he is a fat hairy bear to me. he is. mfmdjsjm……. literally the only explanation for him not being a bear is he would have been SO hot that everyone killed themselves because they couldnt fathom how hot he was

yeah god... he is a bear. hes a huge fucking dude everyone would have died with lust at the sight of him

[callmearcturus]

have to respect Harris Bomberguy for self-identifying as a bear, adding multiple incredibly horny jokes, wearing a torn shirt that prominently shows off chest hair, that "the most fuckable twink I have ever seen" line--

the chaotic bisexual here to end the careers of cons and then end his videos with such a heartfelt kindness it makes me cry. get you a man who can do both.

[dnd-writes]

Cuddle Time

AO3

Tags: Non-con, BFH-ish, unedited so bear with me, gf!Jiheon, human sex toy, emotional disregard, choking, carry fuck, ass-to-mouth, slapping, face fucking

A/N: A little late but... BELATED JIHEON DAY!!! Big thanks to @nsfwmaemi for the plot idea (and for pointing out that it was Jiheon day cause I wouldn't have written this otherwise lmfao). Anyways, enjoy!

P.S. Baek Jiheon? Break Jiheon.

You are woken up by a sudden weight on your chest, you start to panic but instantly calm down once the familiar scent of strawberries hits your nose and you instinctively wrap your arms around the person on your chest. You don’t even need to open your eyes to confirm it’s Jiheon, it’s her favorite thing to do. You love it as well but today you have some sort of predicament between your legs and it doesn’t help that Jiheon is brushing against it as she snuggles into you.

You finally open your eyes and the first thing you see is Jiheon’s heavenly smile but in your current state of horniness, all you see is a fuckable set of lips and it serves to just rile you up even more. You start breathing heavily as the thought of Jiheon’s tight mouth wrapped around your cock while making the lewdest and sloppiest of sounds fills your mind.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?”

“Can we fuck?” You ask blatantly. “It’s been a while and—” You cut yourself off and instead just lightly thrust upwards, making Jiheon know your situation as you poke her with your tip.

“Hnggghhh, I don’t want to move,” she whines. “Maybe next time.” That maybe hurts you deeply but with your dick being so desperate, instead of backing down you feel a sense of determination fill you. You’re not taking no for an answer, you need that sweet release even if it means going the distance and crossing boundaries.

“Please, I need it. Even if you just let me go to th—” 

“But I’m already here, I don’t want to get up,” Jiheon whines again, this time nuzzling herself closer into the nook of your neck, really cementing herself on top of your warm body.

It’s not really a problem having her on top of you, you can just easily push her off and go jack off in the bathroom but you quickly realize that there’s no fun in that at all. But then a wicked idea strikes you, why use your strength to get Jiheon off of you when you can just overpower her then have your way with her body? She doesn’t want to move but she doesn’t have to and if she doesn’t want to help you, then you’ll just help yourself.

You start by pampering Jiheon with love and affection as you plant soft kisses on her forehead to distract her from the fact that your hand is already on her butt. It worked up until you gave her cheek a light squeeze, making Jiheon shoot her head up and give you a playful glare. “Oppaaa~ I told you, not now.”

You move your hand to her back and chuckle it off, you go back to giving her quick pecks on her face as she lays her head back down but after a short while you start snaking your hand lower and lower, this time all the way inside her shorts, you can feel her underwear already and you just want to rip it right off.

“Ya! I wasn’t in the mood already and you doing that is not helping at all!” Jiheon glares at you again, now more fierce and sincere, letting you know she’s not playing. But what makes her think you are?

Instead of pulling out, you double down and push your hand further inside, beneath her panties. You find her asshole and start teasing it with your finger. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Jiheon shouts out, she tries to get up and leave but you wrap an arm around her and pull her back down against your body, putting her back in the position she so vehemently didn’t want to leave just moments ago.

Jiheon can’t manage to break free from your grip, she struggles, she pushes against you, she squirms, but no matter what she tries she’s stuck with you. “Shhh, just relax and let me do everything, before you know it, it will be over,” you whisper in her ear to calm her down but it seems that she didn’t hear it, still continuing to struggle to get out.

You roll over and get on top of Jiheon, you put a hand around her neck to hold her in place while you try to undress her. Her legs flail wildly but one tense squeeze around her throat is enough for her to shift her focus to not going unconscious. Jiheon tries to pry your hand off but once she moves to remove another finger, the previous one has already gone back against her skin. Eventually you show some remorse and give her some room to breathe, at least now you get to mess with her clothing undisturbed.

You pull her shorts and underwear down then throw them off the bed. As you move your eyes back up to Jiheon, all you see is pain and fear. The image of Jiheon crying is one you would normally feel sad at, one where you would rush to wipe the tears away, one where you would console her and cheer her up—but at that moment you are the sole reason for her despair and you don’t feel guilty at all.

“Oppa…” Jiheon forces out with what little air she has in her. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Just please… stop. Y-You’re hurting me…”

You fake a sense of realization as you let go of Jiheon’s neck, letting her gasp for air and regain her composure. You take your hands off of her body not because she begged for it rather you did it to start undressing yourself. Jiheon sees you and dashes out, you quickly kick your shorts off then run after her. 

Jiheon only manages to open the door before you catch her, you slam the door shut then slam her against the wall. Jiheon yelps as her petite frame is pinned down, once again unable to move with you holding her down. “AHH!!! Please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I will really make it up to you, just… please, let me go.” The trembling her voice makes fills your ears and the squirming her body does just makes her grind against your erection, you’ve never felt so alive.

“Oh, baby, you’re not going anywhere. You’re going to make it up to me using your body,” you whisper into her ear and Jiheon just sobs realizing her helplessness. She shakes her head which is the only form of movement her body is still capable of but you restrict that too by pressing the side of her face against the wall. You lean in close and lick the side of her face, Jiheon winces as your tongue grazes her skin, you’ve never imagined tears to be so delightful but there you are lapping at the side of Jiheon’s face as if her eyes are some sort of leaky faucet. 

You shift your lips lower until you reach Jiheon’s neck and you take no time before attacking one of her most sensitive areas with kisses and bites. It’s a very odd predicament for Jiheon, being pleasured against her will despite the rest of her body in disarray, forced to moan from your touch despite the rest of her body disagreeing. You leave one big hickey before you move up to nibble on her ear. “You’re moaning so much, baby. Just admit it already, you love me using you like this.”

“I d-don’t, oppa. You’re scaring me. I really don’t like it.” Jiheon begs for mercy again but you continue to drill your mouth onto her delicate skin, leaving more and more hickeys on Jiheon, causing her to moan in pleasure much to her wishes. You mark her as yours, not treating her as someone you are partnered with rather you treat her as something you own.

Having wasted enough time painting her neck, you pry Jiheon off the wall then you reach down and hook her legs with your arms. Jiheon yelps as her entire body is lifted off of the ground rather effortlessly, you rest her back on your chest while you hold her legs up high, folding her in half. You can hear her hyperventilating, completely panicking over realizing just how powerless she is compared to you. You’ve never really appreciated Jiheon’s small and light frame until now, you barely have a problem carrying her, it’s like she’s just some toy you get to pilot around.

You position Jiheon’s butt over your rod until you feel yourself just outside of her rear entrance, you try to push yourself inside but without any help or preparation, it feels almost impossible. “Hngh… P-Please, oppa, I’ll do anything you want just put me d–ahHHHH!!!” You’ve had enough of her lies and empty promises and so you just lower Jiheon and thrust upwards, her screams fill the room just as much as your cock fills her ass. You don’t even stop to shut her up, not caring if any neighbor might hear you, just relishing in the sweet sounds of her torment filling your ears.

You’ve always thought of Jiheon as some sort of doll but never in your life have you ever thought of treating her like one but here you are now lifting and lowering her body onto your shaft like she weighs nothing.

You reduce Jiheon to a whining mess, she tries to speak, to reach out to whatever humanity you have left inside of you but her words come out slurred, unable to say a complete word let alone form a cohesive thought as you relentlessly pound into her. Fucking Jiheon’s ass has never felt this amazing, the lack of lube, the lack of regard to her well-being and safety, it just energizes you to keep going.

To call Jiheon’s ass tight is an understatement, the unpreparedness mixed with her discomfort and struggling work together to really make her walls clamp down on you. It’s like she doesn’t want you to leave her asshole. Part of you wants to whisper and tease Jiheon with how much her ass is hugging you but even you are too enamored to say anything.

Eventually the grip Jiheon’s ass has on your girth starts to prove too much even for you. You plant your feet and rest your legs as you adjust your hands to hold onto Jiheon’s shoulders. Jiheon tries her best to put what little strength she has left to hold her head steady while you hold her body firmly in your arms as you start hammering her body down onto you, letting her ass slam into your crotch with loud slaps. You really solidify Jiheon’s place as an object as you recklessly use her entire body to jack yourself off until you feel your cum burst inside of her ass.

You let your dick out then drop Jiheon onto the bed, you miss the mark quite a bit causing her to roll over to the floor and hit it with a thud. It sounded like it hurt and now you regret dropping her directly in the first place. You sit down and wait but Jiheon is just quietly sobbing on the ground, so you reach down and grip onto the base of her head then force her to look at you. Her face is a mess of tears, her ever vibrant smile now nowhere to be seen and you’re somehow loving it.

“Oppa…” Even after all that’s happened so far, you wonder how she can still call you such a name. “Y-Y-You’re done, right? Can we j-just lay in bed? I promise to forget this happened, just please stop, oppa.” You don’t even pause to think about it, stopping right now when your dick is still hard is the last thing you want to do so you drag Jiheon’s face closer to your throbbing cock to let her know your answer. Jiheon breaks into another crying fit knowing that you’re not done using her.

You wipe the tears on her face using the tip of your cock, replacing it with leftover semen, and Jiheon grimaces in disgust. “Just open wide, bitch. It’s the least you can do for me now.” 

Jiheon flinches hearing you call her such a thing but despite all the pain you’ve caused her so far, you can still see her desperation clawing at you in hopes of finding the man she once knew. “Oppa, I still lo—” You don’t dare listen to her, you don’t dare to let her finish her sentence, instead you grip the back of her head and shove her face down onto your crotch, the resulting choking Jiheon is doing around your girth sends you to euphoria. Turns out her smile isn’t the only heavenly thing her face has, her entire mouth is a world of pleasure sent down from the skies. You almost hunch over, feeling your entire body be electrified just from Jiheon choking on your dick.

If you treated her body like some inanimate fuck doll earlier, now you treat her face like a fleshlight. No doubt Jiheon’s throat is better than any toy you have used, all the features any gadget could ever have and more, all with the added benefit of being free while also not needing to be cleaned out. Now you think about using Jiheon to satisfy your every need at every moment you need her to, though for now you savor the moment.

You put a hand towards Jiheon’s cheek and she instinctively tries to snuggle into it but you betray the short moment of intimacy with a sharp slap, you didn’t expect it to do much but the resulting groaning sends shivers through your spine as her throat vibrates around you. You slap her again, and again, and again, it’s like a button to turn on a feature and you just can’t get enough of it. Feeling the sting in your palm you switch your hands around and begin doing the same to the other side of her face.

After a while, you pull her off and dangle her head above your cock, you wait for her to speak but the only thing that comes out of her mouth is spit that drips onto you. Jiheon’s too exhausted, too used, too spent, too broken to do or say anything anymore and you feel a sense of gratification seeing the outcome of your work.

You put your hands back to the side of Jiheon’s head and start pumping her up and down your length, really treating her mouth like a fleshlight as you give her no room to adjust or rest, just a fast and steady pace, letting her throat resonate a mixture of gags and chokes as you ignore the limit her body can handle.

You catch glimpses of her eyes from time to time and you can tell just how empty and lifeless they have become. From your girlfriend, Jiheon has now become your slave, though with how unresponsive she has gotten, toy would be a more appropriate title for her.

As you feel your next load about to release, you yank Jiheon’s head off of your crotch and jerk yourself to completion with the other hand, your second orgasm flies onto her face covering it almost completely in white. Your climax was so explosive that you didn’t have the time to savor the sight as you felt yourself pass out. All of a sudden…

You are woken up by a sudden weight on your chest, you start to panic but instantly calm down once the familiar scent of strawberries hits your nose and you instinctively wrap your arms around the person on your chest. You don’t even need to open your eyes to confirm it’s Jiheon, it’s her favorite thing to do. You love it as well but today you have some sort of predicament between your legs and it doesn’t help that Jiheon is brushing against it as she snuggles into you.

[sorceresssundries]

'Is that the game where you can fuck a bear?'

Well... It's the game where you can romance an archdruid who's undergone centuries of hardship dedicating himself to the protection and restoration of nature, who FINALLY has some of his burdens lifted and allows himself to be cared for and accepted by somebody else - in all of his forms.

'Is one of those forms... a fuckable bear?'

Damn fucking straight.

[welcometothejianghu]

We! Rate! Eunuchs!

Sure, we all love eunuchs. But have you ever found yourself with an emptiness in your heart because you were unable to objectively measure your eunuchs? Well, now you can! Thanks to our handy Eunuch Measuring Scale, you can visualize your eunuchs and even see how they stack up against other eunuchs. Enjoy this handy demonstration of how it works!

The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty

Sleuth's eunuchs are absolutely unmatched in the complexity and fuckability departments, and also get full schemesy marks. Their style is sharp but not particularly varied, and while they do call on their beloved emperor, they don't particularly get a good solid holler going about it. Still, Sleuth's little meow meow eunuchs are high-quality, top-of-the-line eunuchs, practically the industry standard.

The Blood of Youth

Imagine -- eunuchs that not only have stunning outfits of their own, but that coordinate with their coworkers! Hats with architecture that defies logic! It's the style score that makes the Blood of Youth's eunuchs truly stand out. While they are admittedly less fully realized than their Sleuth counterparts, one must chalk this slight deficiency up to how difficult it is to get any screen time in a show with eight billion other characters. They're still full of schemesy goodness, though, leaving you always wanting more.

Nirvana in Fire

Nirvana in Fire presents a special eunuch challenge, as there's only really one eunuch to speak of: Gao Zhan, the emperor's loyal attendant. While his primary function in the show is to feign ignorance so he doesn't get into trouble, he can fretfully wail for his head of state like none other. It's tough to singlehandedly bear the responsibility of all eunuch represenation in a property, but Gao Zhan performs admirably in all areas an emperor could desire.

Story of Yanxi Palace

In contrast to Nirvana in Fire, Yanxi Palace has a substantial number of eunuchs, and every one of them is absolutely plotting something at all times. While the sex appeal of these identically dressed eunuchs is on average low, Yuan Chunwang brings the fuckable score up single-handedly by being the rare canonically fuckable eunuch. Note that the Yanxi Palace eunuchs lose a few points on a technicality: By the time they're around, the emperor is a huángshàng, not a bìxià, and it's much more difficult to get a good mournful cry going when you can't exploit the natural trajectory of two falling tones in a row.

Sleep better at night knowing you can now objectively measure your eunuchs along these six important axes! I know I will!

Eunuch Measuring Scale: because dudes gotta measure something

[ttrpg-smash-pass-vs]

I wonder if me speaking conversationally in the question portion made anyone uncomfortable.

Anyway, on the left, Weretiger. Can become a tiger, a person, or a larger tiger-person hybrid with a husky voice and tendency to roll thier R's. They like to keep tidy little cottagecore cabins in the woods, full of herb gardens and cats and poultry and such. They tend stay near people because they like occasional company and have favored mates, but not too close because they value privacy and don't care to spread thier curse (why make more hunting competition). Look I've seen how y'all react to Tony the Tiger, I don't have to explain this one.

On the right, the werebear! They have a normal (usually thick and hairy) person form, a larger bear person form, and a full bear form. They're also usually really nice. Most refuse to bite unless the target is a willing companion or apprentice, and will stick with them for a while to help them gain control of the curse. They just love enjoying and protecting nature, doing good out where they can't accidentally hurt anybody.

[josru]

a little rant:

If you need to understand one thing about the Bear subreddit, here it is.

It's not a supportive place for women, let alone black women/women of colour. (Not surprising, as reddit is male and white dominated.) Sydney gets mad hate for daring to be apart of the main relationship in the show (that is now defunct), something that the writers wrote for her? Regardless if you see Sydcarmy as romantic or not. The whole point of the Bear is their partnership.

And yet the Bear fandom on reddit loves to diminish her role, and act as if Sydney is an uppity black woman who needs to be rid of. They act like it's surprising that people want to talk about her or like her. And they also think Sydcarmy is mad overrated and implausible. They bring it up constantly because it pisses them off that a sizeable portion of us love it.

Probably because Sydney is an actual character we can relate to and root for. But oh no, men don't like that because that means she isn't a perfect little white fantasy, and she has actual problems and ideas and speaks on them, and she's BLACK, god forbid!! And they could never have empathy for someone who wasn't themselves. Sydney is annoying to them because it reminds them they don't care about other people.

It's barely a place for white women too, because they only like you if you're a gf/therapist/not your own person. A flat, 2-D image with no problems. They don't care about Jess or Claire, they just want to fuck them. Even in this post, the respect of relatability and empathy is given to Richie in the title, because he finally "got some", despite the picture being of Jess. Like, great, guys, you diminished a woman (a PERSON) to being a "win" for a man, because that's all that matters, right? Whether or not a woman is a fuckable prize?

Even the writing of the show actually just pushes the whole "if women = gf, = only gf, nothing else" trope. So in a weird way, I guess I know where they're getting it from, but I expected more from adult men? My bad.

Women deserve to be more than someone's fantasy!! I am sick and tired of this misogynistic drivel. I also think it's fucked up how much of these dudes on reddit love Richie this much. Like, we get it, you think he's a self-help sigma alpha chad king now. Just keep ignoring the problems he keeps creating, how irritating he can be sometimes, as well as the fact that men picking up their lives will always have way more support than female characters. Richie is not some underdog character lol. The narrative of the show has made it clear he is very beloved and will have a nice, sweet arc.

Unlike Sydney, and Marcus, and apparently maybe even Tina. But yes, keep talking about how your white male character is the underdog who is being sooo mistreated and finally got something he deserved, even though in actuality, Syd and every other POC got treated like shit this season. It's like they swapped them, the real main characters, and made them the underdogs/tertiary while Richie has become so important. But it's key to reddit's white male victim complex that Richie is finally getting "good treatment" when he never suffered being completely ignored by the writers at all, and he was never at risk of that either.

[carrymelikeimcute]

hbomberguy really made a video ending like, five different careers just so he could make it 100% clear that he's a bisexual bear who owns fetish wear and would definately dom a fuckable twink.

Bizarrest dating agency tape ever.

EDIT - To the people reblogging this in outrage because 'he's not a bear' um... it's a silly tumblr post, fuck off.

[reyrapidsbutgayer]

Ranking All Shadow of the Erdtree Bosses and NPC's by Fuckability.

It's finally time. The sequel to the 2nd worst post I've ever made.

I 100%-ed the DLC and it was fantastic. Time to find out which new characters are the most fuckable.

In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with (if possible) and are not actively trying to kill you (Unless killing you makes it sexier).

Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate. Bosses that already appeared in the Base game are not counted.

It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.

Explanation of Grading system:

Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)

These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.

Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)

Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.

Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)

These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.

Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)

I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?

Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)

These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.

Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)

These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.

Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)

These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.

Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)

These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.

Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)

These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.

Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.

Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)

Ralva the Great Red Bear:

Animal

Rugalea the Great Red Bear:

Animal

Ghostflame Dragon:

Undead, probably not capable of sex.

Golden Hippopotamus:

Animal

Swordhand of Night Anna:

She is a hot goth knight, but is a mind controlled puppet.

Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)

Promised Consort Radahn + Radahn Consort of Miquella:

Radahn is just a mind-controlled corpse, and Miquella is a little bitch, so they are both ineligible. Honestly who tries to become a god but also ditches their inner goth girl? St. Trina deserved better.

Scadutree Avatar:

Theoretically capable of sex, but is made of pure anger and thorns.

Fire Knight Salza:

War criminal, even by Elden Ring terms so you KNOW it's bad.

Jori, Elder Inquisitor:

Creepy torturer and hypocrite, thinks sex is a sin and I plan for him to die sinless.

Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)

Curseblade Labirith:

Too devoted to being a monk to care.

Midra Lord of Frenzied Flame:

He's going through a LOT right now. He just got dumped AND he is being tortured for eternity while also containing a god of madness in his body, just leave the poor man alone.

Blackgaol Knight:

In another life he'd fuck like semi truck, but as of right now he's taken a vow to be a wet blanket alone in a mausoleum.

Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)

Chief Bloodfiend:

Too goopy and covered in diseased blood, but is still up for it if you are.

Putrescent Knight:

On one hand it's melting skeleton made up of thousands of merged souls... but on the other hand if you managed to get the consent and each and every soul I bet you could PROBABLY do something.

Lamenter:

Throw him one pity fuck and then run, he's clingy and a whiner.

Death Knight:

Is mostly just a skeleton, and whatever flesh is still there is probably rotting... but he does have some rizz and cool wings... goth guys can still get it.

Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)

Black Knight Garrew:

A highly trained knight, probably has good stamina but is also a fanatic to a creepy cult.

Black Knight Edredd:

Is also a highly trained knight, probably has good stamina but is also a fanatic to a creepy cult... but he does know crucible incantations... he might have some weird animal stuff you can get him to use in bed.

Rakshasa:

She's covered in blood and is overflowing with bloodlust... but lust and bloodlust are in the same neighborhood if you know what to do.

Divine Beast Dancing Lion:

If those two guys in there aren't rotting corpses... Fucking two guys inside a scary lion costume is an above average Tuesday night.

Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)

Logur, the Beast Claw:

A nude man covered in blood is running at you on all fours... you are either about to die or have a WILD night.

Ancient Dragon Senessax:

A very average dragon, but all dragons have a baseline fuckability so she's up here.

Jagged Peak Drake:

Drakes are slightly less fuckable than dragons, but if you don't think I'd willing be double teamed by two dragons while Igon watches, you clearly don't know me.

Ancient Dragon-Man:

All the perks of dragon sex but in a much more portable package.

Demi-Human Swordmaster Onze:

Normally Demi-humans are more cute than sexy, but this guy dedicated his life to the blade, you should be helping him make up for lost time.

Count Ymir, Mother of Fingers:

He's a delusional asshole... but he smacks of gender™ in a very submissive and breedable manner. A man who wants to be a mother and has giant fleshy fingers growing out of his body? It will be uncomfortable and deeply personal... but you GOTTA try it at least once, the LGBTQ community is depending on you.

Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)

Red Bear:

All the raw sex appeal of Logur but with 25% more daddy energy.

Moonrithyll, Carian Knight:

Listen we have all been sleeping on Moonrithyll when we should be sleeping WITH her. She is the chamberlain to Rellana (as in head bedroom attendant) which means she is an actual #girlboss and there must be insane wizard lesbian sex behind closed doors. Not only that but she is beloved by the trolls and can fight on equal terms with the carian troll knights, who are no doubt getting sucked and fucked by her nightly. She's just a normal human but she is blowing out the backs of demigods and giants alike. She is struggling to keep her head above water and that water is pussy.

Commander Gaius:

Ok so here me out: He is an asshole, and violent, and a fanatic who serves the very order that discriminates against him... but all you have to do is mention that Radahn is better in bed than him. With this one simple trick he will have you bent over the back of his boar making sure he won't be the only one who can't use their legs after. He is pure rage and he will not stop until he has make you cum more times than Radahn ever has. Trust me, this happened to me, video games are real.

Dancer of Ranah:

Infinite stamina, enough said.

Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)

Rellana Twin Moon Knight:

I want you to imagine Rennala, a normal woman who was able to satisfy Radagon/Marika, the sluttiest possible duo in the entire history of the lands between. Now imagine Rennala at full power, no depression, no hanging out in her basement mourning her failed marriage... now imagine Rennala 18% more goth and holding two magic swords. She will fuck you into space and then fuck you back to planet earth. Now imagine being bisexual.

Messmer the Impaler + Base Serpent Messmer:

I have slowly grown to love this sad bishounen anime boy more and more as I learn about his pathetic little life. He seems all mean and firey, but he is a bottom. (and his snakes are not) I wanna make him squeal and then get him therapy and then for good measure make him squel again.

Romina, Saint of the Bud:

A sleeper hit, but she is a mean insect lady with a giant prehensile centipede tail. She is like a xenomorph queen but a pink pastel goth rather than a vampire goth. She will wrap you up in that giant tail of hers and get straight to the egg laying. If you haven't considered it before, then you will now.

Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)

Metyr, Mother of Fingers:

Look... you WILL die after doing this, but she has a giant stomach full of squirming wet fingers and she is basically a big pile of dicks. Get naked, jump into her gaping stomach and die happy. That's an order from your commanding officer, now do your duty and serve your country.

Bayle the Dread:

I hate this dragon, he is responsible for the steady decline in dragon sex appeal, he hurt my Igon, and I can't explain why but I feel like he is sexist somehow. BUT... a dragon is a dragon. If Igon asks me to double team this guy I legally can't say no.

BONUS: Ranking the new NPC's from worst to best in terms of fuckability:

#13: Fire Knight Queenlign:

Somehow, his haircut is more of a turn-off than the war crimes he committed in the name of a god who doesn't even know he exists, which is not a good sign.

#12: Hornsent Grandam:

Normally I would give GILFs a pass to live their life and fuck as little or as much as they want. But she is the type to slut shame other women and as a feminist I cannot stand idly by.

#11: Hornsent

In another life he'd be a decent lay. He had a wife and a child so he has had sex at least once. In a pinch I can forgive the blind self destructive quest for vengeance, but I draw the line as soiled loincloths. You're an adult Hornsent, so act like it.

#10: Moore

My sweet little pot boy... If it came to sex I'd like to imagine that he is attentive and gentle, with his armor clattering around the whole time because he is too scared to take it off entirely. But he is too sweet and you honestly don't deserve him. He needs to be romanced, swept off his feet by a loyal and supportive partner and let's face it, you aren't at a place in your life where you can be all that he needs.

#9: Thoiller

The pillow princess to end all pillow princesses. He is a simp, he's submissive, he's breedable, he's a sopping wet pathetic little meow meow. Tumblr, THIS is the man you keep saying you want, now get in there and impregnate this man as the prophecies foretold.

#8: St. Trina

She's a plant at this point and probably isn't up for sex. (And a disembodied essence of love from a corrupted demigod) But I KNOW for a fact you kept imbibing her nectar more than you needed to. She just likes to watch as you and Thoiller get high and flop around in the putrescences. Lore says St. Trina was a fully grown woman at some point, and not just a weird little plant person, so in her prime she probably had a weird sleepy plant orgy with her followers.

#7: Redmane Freyja:

On paper she is the tragic butch sword lesbian we need but don't deserve. A prisoner who earned her freedom and rank through brutal gladiatorial combat, a loyal knight to a fallen demigod, and a big buff lady who can step on you. But in practice she still sides with Leda after breaking free of the mind control, and lets Miquella control her lords body like a toy. Come on Freyja, where is your fire? Your rage? Suplex Leda and fuck your way across the lands between as did your forefathers.

#6: Swordhand of Night Jolan:

She's a mean goth girl with a tragic past and a desperate need to be loved. I could fix her.

#5: Sir Ansbach

He easily earned his place in the top 5. He's running from a tragic past, he is trying to be a better person, he has all the sex appeal of Varre' but actually bathes, and he is a GILF. In practice he probably isn't the BEST in bed, but he is rather romancable. He can still get it, since he was a highly trained warrior in the past, but I see myself cuddling him as he somberly adjusts his glasses and stares out the window. Don't get me wrong there is still a LOT of sweaty blood sex but he knows what he is doing and understands what soap is.

#4: Igon

He's a screamer. Broken legs, dirty armor, doesn't matter. The warriors code demands that we look into each other's eyes as we both cum. That is the only honorable way.

#3: Needle Knight Leda

She sucks. She willingly follows a loser wannabe god, and it's not even the mind control, she is just like that™ already. She is so bad at socializing with rational people who are already on her side that she jumps to murder without hesitation. She even killed all the first Needle Knights just cuz of her own paranoia. She should be at the bottom of this list... but a yandere is a yandere. It would be creepy, uncomfortable and she'd be very demanding and probably bite you in a very non-sexy way. But it would still be some of the best sex you'll ever have. You'd regret it just as much as you'd enjoy it, and you'd regret it for the rest of your life.

#2: Dragon Communion Priestess Florissax:

Lovelorn dragon lady who wants me to eat other dragons in a very sensual manner. I am not immune and neither are you.

#1: Dryleaf Dane

After that brush, he is distant. His training is cold and impersonal, he throws himself into his prayers, dedicating every waking moment to meditation. He sought to turn his flesh to iron, so why is the flesh so weak around you?

Hear me out. He's religious, he is dedicated to his cause, he tries to kill you, and he doesn't even say a word to you.

BUT.

Imagine what happens when you finally get him to break.

He is your master, teaching you in the dryleaf arts, the two of you sparring atop a waterfall and bruising your knuckles more and more with each strike. The two of you meditate together, seeking inner peace to further your warriors spirit. He is stoic, his heart closed off to you and his mind focused on his holy mission.

But he is temped, you can see it in his eyes, in the way he watches over you when you are hurt, the soft way his fist unclench after a battle, and the thick layer of sweat you share after sparring. Together you are hardening your bodies to become living weapons, but bodies are not only used for violence, and the two of you cannot ignore the tension that grows with each day, your bodies intertwining during a particularly heated duel, grappling turning slowly to wanton exploration. He comes to his senses right before it crosses the line and you see the fear in his eyes as he pulls away from you. But you wouldn't have stopped him and he knows it from the pleased expression on your face as you lie on your back, defeated.

When it finally happens, you are sparring, leaving nothing behind. You shed your armor to let the movements flow without hindrance and so does he, conflict apparent upon his face. You trade blow after blow, your bodies raw and sore but still you don't let up. The sun is setting and neither of you will relent, sweat coating every inch and the roar of the waterfall drowning out every thought that isn't dedicated to this battle.

He is getting sloppy, his eyes transfixed not on your fists but your face. A poorly placed sweep to your legs leaves him wide open and you go for the maneuver neither of you have attempted since the close encounter that frightened him so.

He struggles, pushing your arms and legs away fruitlessly as his exhaustion drains away his years of practice. Soon you are pinning him to the wet ground on the riverbed, his hair wild and his hat flung far out of arms reach. He looks like a cornered animal in your grasp, eyes bulging and his breathing haggard. You can only look down upon your former master with a gleeful hunger, his body already more familiar to you than your own.

In a moment of understanding you see the hesitation drain from eyes. He knows what he wants, and he is done denying it. You grab his face roughly and kiss him more violently than any punch you have thrown. He returns in kind and all the exhaustion seems to leave his body as he sits up and wraps both arms around you firmly, desperate to make up for lost time, his holy mission only to worship your body and the unbreakable bond you have forged in sweat and blood.

And then you bone.

We have all imagined that exact scenario, haven't we? I have yet to meet a Fromsoft fan who hasn't described that fantasy to me word for word without hesitation. I am just saying what we were all thinking.

(Pictured: a man I would fuck until he renounces his god.)

[spideybatsy]

Late Night

Summary: GN!Reader gets a cleaning job working at Wayne Enterprises when a certain billionaire playboy develops an obsession with them. Pairing: Bruce Wayne x GN!Reader WC: 3K Warnings: being watched without knowing, mentions of erections, nothing too serious. Notes: Can be read as any batsy you’d like, I personally picture Bale bc I’m a slut for him <3 This is the first chapter in my new series! I haven't written in a year, so be kind Masterlist

The wind pressed against your sweat slick skin as you stepped into the shadow of Wayne Tower. A shiver rolled down your spine, half caused by the weather and half by the ravenous butterflies in your stomach. Starting a new job is never easy but God, you have never needed a job as much as you need this one.

The renewal of your lease brought a steep increase in rent at the same time as your boss announced he was closing the business. You couldn’t really say you were surprised, the bakery was definitely a front for something nefarious, why else would the GCPD come in every other week?

It was a shame, really. You loved working at the bakery, especially during those quiet moments when you could just sit there and watch the world go by. God knows you’ll be rushed off your feet now.

Cleaning wasn’t your first choice, nor was it your second. Hell, it wasn’t even on the list. But you were not in the position to be anything but grateful when your friend mentioned an opening at their work. The hours weren’t the best but the pay was surprisingly good.

You walked into the building and were immediately shoved by someone sprinting to the lift. Taking a deep breath, you regained your bearings, straightened your shirt, and headed for security. You’d been in the building only once, for your interview, but figured you’d need some sort of pass to get into the actual offices. 

The security man who served you was disarmingly attractive and you couldn’t help but blush as he ran his eyes down your figure. His hair was a dirty blonde, pushed back and behind his ears. 

“First day?”

“That obvious?” 

He chuckled, before asking for your name and looking you up on the system.  “I’ll just call your supervisor, Emily, to come down.” 

“Thank you.” The two of you fell into an almost awkward silence. “How, uh, long until your shift finishes?”

“I’m on a morning today, so I finish at 12. How about you?” 

“Well, I’ll usually be doing the 4 till 10 shift but they wanted me in earlier today. So, I'll finish around 3.” 

“Too bad.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“Well, I would’ve loved to take you out for dinner.” Were your cheeks on fire or was it suddenly just really hot in here? “Maybe it’ll have to be lunch instead.”

You opened your mouth to respond but was interrupted by Emily calling your name. 

“There you are, I’ve been waiting for you!”

You flashed a sorry smile at him and rushed over to your friend's side. 

“Hey, what’s that guard's name?” Although you knew he couldn’t hear you from here, you still whispered.

You cringed as Emily started to turn back, quickly reaching out and stopping her.

“I think that’s Russell.” She whispered back, “Why?”

“He asked me out on a date.”

“Really?” Well, no more whispering. You simply nodded your head, following her into the lift. “You don’t even have your access pass and you’ve got the men drooling. You dirty stop out.” 

“I haven’t slept with him!”

“Yet.”

“I’ll be telling HR you called me a slut.”

“Hoping they’ll sleep with you too?” 

You couldn’t help but laugh, pushing her slightly with your shoulder. As the numbers on the lift drew higher, the two of you settled down. Joking with your friend was one thing but you needed people here to take you seriously, even if you were just the cleaner.

“Are the people here nice?” You weren’t expecting your voice to sound so… small.

Emily looked over at you, affectionately bumping your shoulder. “Yeah, most of them are lovely.” 

“What about the others?”

“Fuckable.”

The lift doors opened and filled the floor with the sound of your combined laughter. 

—-

“And down here, you have Mister Wayne’s office.” You followed Emily down the hallway, looking into an office and making eye contact with an older man. You gave him a quick smile and was pleased when he returned it. 

“That’s Lucius Fox, he’s really the boss.”

“What about Bruce Wayne?” 

“What about him?” Emily stopped at the front of the last door.

“Well, it’s Wayne Enterprises, isn’t it?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

You couldn’t help but gasp as she threw the door open, jumping to apologise to the aforementioned man. 

Only, he wasn’t there.

Emily laughed, walking further into the room. “He’s hardly here, probably recovering from his drunken nights spent with supermodels.”

You hesitantly followed her in, amazed by the so-called office. This one room was probably bigger than your whole apartment. It definitely had better views. 

“I’m not sure you should be talking about our boss like that,” you mumbled, walking over to the floor to ceiling windows. 

Emily came to stand next to you, “it’s not like he’s ever here to hear it.”

“Don’t be so sure.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you jolted around, instantly fearing the worst. Was it possible you could be fired before you even got your first paycheck? How were you going to pay rent now?

You couldn’t tell if you should be relieved or not when you realised it was the man you’d smiled at earlier. Lucius Fox. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Emily replied, turning back to the view. 

Oh my God. What was she doing? “Please excuse my friend, Mr Fox. I think she meant-”

“I know what she meant,” he responded while walking over. 

You opted to say nothing and pretended to look out the window, wishing for the tension to dissipate as quickly as possible.

“You’re scaring them to death, Fox.” 

The older man laughed, coming to rest his hand on your shoulder. “Worry not, dear. You’ll grow used to the banter.”

The tension started melting from your shoulders, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, after all.

—

Within two weeks, you’d fallen into a comfortable routine. You came into work at 3:45 to make yourself a tea and read your book, before starting work at 4. You start at the side furthest from Wayne’s office, as they left the earliest. By the time you reached the common areas, the rest of the staff would be leaving, only Fox remaining. He was always the last one to leave, usually close to 7. You couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, since you knew he was typically the first person in the office too. So, you’d bring him a decaffeinated coffee around 5pm. You’d find yourself talking to him for a while, usually about stories from the past that you could both laugh about. 

Truth be told, you were starting to really enjoy the man's company. He had a dry sense of humour that you found hilarious. Being in the office late could be rather lonely, so you clung onto the moments you had with him. 

A positive of working alone in the office was that you could play all your music out loud. You’d recently gotten into a podcast where three friends read stories and discussed them. A lot of them were light hearted or ‘am i the asshole’ reddit posts.

Tonight, you listened to their supernatural episode as you finished up in Fox’s office when you heard a bang down the hallway. Slowly, you creeped to the door to peep down the corridor but there was no one there.

Maybe the ghost stories were getting to you. You shook your head and turned back into the office when you heard the noise again. Jumping, you looked toward the sound. The only thing down there was Mr Wayne’s office.

Clutching your mop between closed fists, you edged down the hallway. Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open and rushed in, hoping to catch the perpetrator in action.

Only the office was empty, of course it was. You couldn’t help the relief that coursed through your veins. It was obviously going to be empty, you had yet to see The Bruce Wayne in this room. You were starting to wonder if it had even been used. Maybe Fox should get this office, that way someone can appreciate the view.

You laughed quietly to yourself before turning off the podcast and putting on some tunes. That was more than enough scares for you tonight.

Unbeknownst to you, you were not alone. A certain billionaire had stumbled in here before his night duty, expecting to find the place empty as usual. He hadn’t been in for a few weeks now but things rarely changed this high in the building.

Then you’d burst into the room, armed with a mop and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. You were the single most beautiful person he’d ever seen. Who were you and what were you doing here? 

He couldn’t help the way his dick twitched in his trousers. No. Now is not the time. 

He stayed in the shadows and watched you work, diligently going from one room to another before stopping in the kitchen to make a drink. You pulled a book out of your bag and read for a while. Bruce found himself creeping closer, eager to see what you were reading. 

Then you looked up and it seemed like you were staring straight at him. He knew you couldn’t see him but he couldn’t stop the way his heart stuttered in his chest. Nor the way his lower half jolted. 

What was it about you that made his infamous control slip? He’d never had this issue, not even as a teenager.

Your eyes widened as you kept gazing in his direction and he slowly turned his head. The bat symbol drifted amongst the clouds. 

He held back a sigh as he shifted further into the darkness. 

Maybe he was due a visit back into the office, after all. 

—

Or maybe not. 

It had been a week since Bruce first saw you in his office, clutching a mop like your life depended on it. Sometimes, when he lay awake in his bed, he thought about how oblivious you were to his presence that night. And every night since.

He should really get you some self defence classes, perhaps send them as a gift from Wayne Enterprises. He hated thinking about what could’ve happened if he really was a burglar. He could only keep you so safe, you needed to be able to handle yourself. 

Then he felt a bit crazy. Here he was, talking about you like you were… part of his life. Although, he supposed at this point you were part of his life. He just wasn’t part of yours. Too many times he’d driven to the building just to never get out of his car.

He’d asked Fox about you at his last equipment meeting. He tried to act nonchalant about it, casually asking if there were any new staff on the top floor. 

“We have a new cleaner.” Fox said, relaying your name. “They’ve been here for about three weeks. Settling in very well.”

Bruce repeated your name, strangely satisfied by the way it rolled off his tongue. 

“May I inquire why you’ve asked about them?” Fox’s words caught Bruce off guard. “You’ve never been interested in the Wayne staff before.”

“Just keeping up to date with the comings and goings of my fathers legacy.” Bruce suddenly found the kevlar padding very interesting. 

“Better late than never, I suppose.” Fox hummed, running his fingers across the fabric. “This kevlar is half the weight of your current gear.”

“Is it still as durable?”

You didn’t come up in the conversation again but Fox filed the information away, eager to ask Alfred about it. 

—

“What does your partner think about you working so late?”

Fox’s question caught you completely off guard, causing you to almost spurt out your tea. He immediately grabbed the tissues off his desk, handing them to you.

“Forgive me, it was an inappropriate question.” 

“No, no, no. It’s fine.” You said, finally swallowing down your mouthful. “I, uh, don’t have a partner. So, I don’t think they mind.”

“I suppose that makes two of us.” 

Before you could respond, he tactfully changed the conversation. 

—

“They’re single, you know.” 

Bruce furrowed his eyebrows but didn’t look away from his newspaper. “Whose single, Alfred?”

His heart almost broke free from his chest when Alfred said your name. 

“How would you know that?” Bruce’s words were more rushed than he would’ve liked, the newspaper long forgotten on the table.

“Every old man has his secrets.”

“You spoke to Fox,” Bruce sighed. “They probably thought he was coming onto them.”

“Worried you have competition, Master Wayne?” 

Bruce couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“You know, I may not be the master of romance but I hear that the first step in any relationship is to talk to each other.” 

“Obviously,” Bruce muttered, picking his newspaper back up.

“What you’re doing right now has a name, Master Wayne.” 

“And what is that?”

“Stalking.”

Bruce couldn’t help but flinch at the word. He turned to defend himself but Alfred was already gone, leaving him a pot of tea. 

—

You were sitting in the kitchen, tea in one hand and your book in the other. You’d found yourself in the office a bit earlier than usual but didn’t mind. It was always good to have some time to wind down before you started your shift. 

“What are you reading?” 

You couldn’t help but inwardly sigh, putting your bookmark in. “Just a-” Your breath caught in your throat as you looked up. If Russell was attractive, this man was downright gorgeous. A face carved for a god with luscious hair combed behind his ear. 

He looked eerily familiar but you couldn’t quite place him. You could feel your cheeks heat up as you bought your gaze back down to the book.

“I’ve never heard of The Dry Heart before,” Bruce’s heart leapt from his chest as he took the seat across from you. “What’s it about?”

You sneaked a glance up at him but immediately looked back down when you made eye contact. “It’s about an unhappy marriage, I’m reading it for a book club.”

He hummed, his eyes searching your face. You were even more breath-catching up close. “You must be our new cleaner,” you liked the way he said your name far too much. “I’ve been meaning to catch up with you.”

“You have?” Who was this man? You would remember seeing such a gorgeous face among the office. 

“I try to meet all the new employees but I’ve been a bit slack lately, please forgive me.”

You slowly lifted your eyes to look at him and couldn’t help the way your lips lifted. 

“Consider it forgotten,” you said softly.

He opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Fox. 

“Mr Wayne, how lovely to see you again.” Lucius came in and stood beside you. “I see you’ve met our latest employee.”

Your eyes shoot, Mr Wayne? Surely not. In your rushed state, you completely missed the way Fox smirked at Bruce, causing the younger man to stare daggers back at him.

“Of course, it’s important to know everyone in the office.” 

Fox hummed, turning back to you. “Please excuse us, I have a very important meeting to drag Mr Wayne into.” 

“Uh, yeah, sure.” You had a hard time even saying the words, your mind whirling. Wasn’t Bruce Wayne an arrogant asshole? This man was the furthest from that. He was so kind and funny. And good looking. Holy shit was he good looking.

No, you’re not doing that. Not to your boss. Especially not when your boss is a world famous womaniser. 

You can’t help the way your eyes follow him as he walks out or the way they trail down to his perfect ass. Entering the hallway, Fox rolls his eyes when he sees the massive smirk on Bruce’s face. 

—

“I was hoping I’d find you here.”

You can’t help but jump as Bruce walks into the kitchen. “Mr. Wayne, I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

“Please,” he sits down at the table and smiles at you. “Call me Bruce.”

“Okay, Bruce.” 

Bruce savours the way his name rolls off your tongue and how your cheeks go bright red under his gaze. His eyes follow as your blush spreads down your neck and under your neckline. 

“I usually take the new employees out for lunch, your turn is well overdue.” He takes a moment before continuing. “I guess ours would be more like dinner.”

“I suppose so,” you smile at him, oblivious to his wandering gaze. “But you don’t have to do that, Bruce. It’s fine, honestly.”

“I insist. How about tonight?”

You brought a lousy microwave dinner for tonight but there’s no reason why it can’t wait for tomorrow. Plus, who doesn’t like a free dinner? Lost in thought, Bruce takes the opportunity to study the way you bite your lip and store it away for later. 

“Sure, tonight is good.”

—

You weren’t sure what to expect during dinner but it wasn’t this. Bent over, your hand clutching your side in an attempt to ease your stitch as you laugh hysterically. Bruce is laughing too, his smile so big it shows his perfectly pearly whites.

“No way, you’re lying.” You gasp between breaths.

“I wish,” Bruce looks away in faux-shame. “I wasn’t always the smoothest.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Your laugh settles into a smile. 

“Why’s that?” He sounds genuine when he asks, curious even.

“Well, look at you.” You immediately heat at the implication, quickly stuttering off an excuse. This is not a date. “Y-You’re The Bruce Wayne. It would’ve been a-all over the newspapers if you, uh, messed up.”

Bruce merely hums, his eyes dropping down to your lips as you bite away at them again. 

This is bad. You cannot be flirting with the boss, especially not your boss's boss. Sure, he might be into it now but he’s not known to stick around with the same person for long. You can not afford to lose this job if things go bad.

You’re saved by the server coming back to drop off the check. Bruce’s hand grasps yours as you go to take the check, sending a bolt of electricity down your arm. His eyes find your own, a small smile gracing his lips.

“I’ve got you.”

Fuck. 

[mydaddywiki]

Kevin Dunn

Physique: Husky Height: 5' 10" (1.78 m)

Kevin Dunn (born August 24, 1955-) is an American actor who has appeared in supporting roles in a number of films and television series since the 1980s. Dunn's roles include White House Communications Director Alan Reed in the political comedy Dave, U.S. Army Colonel Hicks in the 1998 version of Godzilla, Sam Witwicky's father Ron in the Transformers film series, Oscar Galvin in the 2010 action thriller Unstoppable, and misanthropic White House Chief of Staff Ben Cafferty in Veep. He has also had recurring roles on True Detective in 2014 and on the TV series adaptation of The Mosquito Coast in 2021.

Genial, slightly stocky with a pleasant (if unremarkable) countenance, Dunn cut his chops playing everymen in movies and one-shot television episodes. Although clean-shaven for most roles, he can grow an surprisingly cute beard on him. I normally don't like beards but he just has the sweetest face I have ever seen with or without it.

Other than being married with a child, I know absolutely nothing else of his personal life. Anyway, he may be straight, but he does look every inch a big fuckable bear.

RECOMMENDATIONS: Veep (TV Series) - shirtless Law & Order (TV Series) S15.E21 Publish and Perish (2005) - shirtless 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992) - shirtless

[43qh]

Can I request a jealous Quinn smut in which the reader is extremely nice yet clueless when she gets hit on by other men. Maybe Quinn sees one approaching her and has had it enough. “Why would they ask me out” “why wouldn’t they”

your wish is my command, darling.

word count: 1.2k

genre: smut

warnings: unprotected sex, kinda rough, jealous sex

"i'll be right back, don't move." quinn demands, knowing you have a tendency to cluelessly run off. you smile with a nod, staring down at your drink. you stood idly by, waiting for you attentive boyfriend to come back to you.

while waiting, a man seemed to notice you all by yourself. you weren't aware of his presence next to you until he lightly brushed his hand against your shoulder, giving you a bright smile. "hi, what's a girl like you doing all alone?"

you wanted to cringe at the classic line, but instead put on your proudest smile, "oh, i'm not alone."

the man standing next to you looks around, before darting his eyes back to you, "i don't see anyone. you're too pretty to be left by yourself."

his remark makes you smile innocently, "thank you, stranger."

the man chuckles, "my name's trevor, actually. and i would love to get to know your name, and maybe more?" he raised an eyebrow with question.

when you were about to answer, quinn tugs you into his chest with a look of anger dawning his features. "she's taken, z."

you look in confusion, not knowing quinn knew him personally. "oh shit, you're quinn's girl!" he laughs it off, "sorry man, won't happen again."

quinn huffs, sucking in his cheek, "why would he just blatantly ask you out like that?" quinn glares at the back of trevor's head as he walks away.

you pull apart from his possessive link, "why wouldn't he?" you tilt your head in curiosity. it wasn't from a place of poking the bear, it was a genuine question. one that got you in trouble.

quinn huffs in anger again, "we're leaving."

you don't protest, unsure why he was acting this way. you had never really seen quinn this way. sure, he's been jealous before, but it was never anything close to this. the whole entire car ride home was quiet, making you nervously run your hands along the end of your dress as you sat there. quinn seemed serious this time, so you decided to remain silent.

when you entered the home, you turned to ask him what was wrong but stopped dead in your tracks as he glared at you. it was an intense stare, one you definitely haven't seen before. at least not directed towards you.

he strides towards you slowly, eyeing you like a prey, "you're right, you know." he doesn't let you ask what he means before continuing, "why wouldn't someone approach you? especially with those fuckable eyes, that short dress hugging your curves."

you gasped, "i- what?"

quinn smirks, letting out a breathy chuckle, "little innocent you. you think i don't notice the way men eat you up? it's the same way i look at you. i hate it." quinn snarls in a way that makes you swallow hard.

"you know i'm yours, quinn." you try to make peace with the man in front of you.

he smiles toothily, "i know. but i think after tonight, you need a strong reminder."

before you can ask or interject further, he pulls you against you, kissing your lips. he can taste the fruity cocktail on your tongue, and you can taste the faint linger of beer. it wasn't strong, knowing he liked sobering up before leaving the bar. the kiss made you dizzy, almost falling if it weren't for how strong quinn was grasping at your hips.

he bunches up the bottom of your dress, not breaking away from you until you let out a loud gasp at the contact of his fingers against your wet, clothed clit. he smirks, looking down at you.

"already soaked, huh? is that what i do to you? does making me jealous turn you on?" he tilts his head in a mocking manner, causing you to shake your head 'no'. he tsks, "from the way you're dripping, i think you do."

this wasn't like quinn. you had never really set off a jealous spark within him. well, not enough for him to do something about it. tonight, that was certainly going to change.

quinn rushes you to the bedroom, your heels coming off along the way while your dress stayed bundled above your hips. he pushes you down, climbing over you almost immediately. he locks eyes with you, seeing the way you bite your lip in anticipation. you would be lying to yourself if you said didn't like this side of quinn.

"i'm gonna make you beg to cum," he states, pulling down your panties and staring at the way your pussy glistened back at him. he hums, "you seem needy." he smirks, looking back up at you, "good."

he runs his fingers along your soaked core, rubbing soft circles into your clit, not quite giving you the pressure he knew you needed. the room filled with your quiet whimpers of defeat, and his ego boasted.

quinn quickly removed his shirt, pants, and underwear. you gawked at the sight of him. you could never truly get used to it. he was just so gorgeous, and you were one lucky woman.

quinn doesn't waste time in pushing into you, your heat sucking him in and making a groan leave his lips, "so fucking tight and wet."

you whine, gasping for air as you adjusted to his size. he stayed still for a moment too long, "quinn.. please."

quinn kisses your temple, "please what, baby?"

"please move."

he can't deny you, not when you look at him with innocent eyes that send him in a dazed state. your pussy was perfect, made for him. made for his cock. his cock only.

"so greedy," he huffed, groaning when you clench around him. quinn begins to set a fast pace, skin slapping against skin almost outdoing your moans that echoed in your shared bedroom. you go to reach for him, but he pins your hands down with a groan, "you like taking it, don't you? taking this cock."

you clench your fists, gasping and sputtering, his hips becoming relentless and not missing a beat. you were sure you would have bruises on your thighs and around your wrists. quinn moves and traps both your hands with just one of his. his size difference wasn't something he thought much of, but this time he was grateful for it.

quinn moves his free hand down to your hip, fingers bruising into you and making you cry out. "quinn! i- please.."

your words trail off as your eyes roll into the back of your head, the sight making quinn chuckle lowly and out of breath, "please what? you want to cum? already? i've barely even started with you." he lets out a snarl when you clench around him too tightly, making his thrusts falter for just a beat.

"yes, please!" you wail out, tears starting to form as you feel the coil in your stomach starting to burn like wildfire, "please let me cum. make me cum."

"who do you belong to?" he asks, quickening his pace and making you struggle against his strong grip.

"y-you. you, quinn. fuck.." you were so close, doing your best to hold it off just for him. you didn't want to provoke him any further than this.

he hums in amusement, "cum for me. cum on this cock, baby."

the release felt like pure bliss, feeling as quinn lets go of your wrists, letting you grasp onto him as you convulse around him. the orgasm so intense, you barely notice the feeling of his own cum pumping right into you.

heavy breaths filled the air, and quinn is quick to place a soft kiss against your lips, contradictory to how he was just minutes ago. "you're mine." he whispers against your lips. he's met with innocent doe eyes.

"always."