#fucking hate that dude and his torture obsession and the way he talks and the gross noises that are probably dylan slaughtering a tomato

[advanced-thanatology]

If Eagle has 1000 haters, I’m one of them. If Eagle has 100 haters, I’m one of them. If Eagle has 50 haters, I’m one of them. If Eagle has 1 hater, it’s me. If Eagle has no haters, it means I am dead. If the world is with Eagle, then I am against the world.

[aliaology]

NOW THAT WE DONT TALK

summary: jack realizes yns music is quite literally a call out, directed towards him, and his brothers egg it on. pt.3

series masterlist

“i called my mom, she said ‘that it was for the best!’ remind myself the more i gave, you’d want me less”

jack could’ve hit his head against the counter ten more times and the song would still be ringing through his ears like a splinter that wouldn’t come out of his hand.

quinns hand made contact with the back of jacks head. “knock it off, jack.”

jack groaned, shoving his head into his arms. he groaned again, this time the noise being muffled due to the his arm. “she wrote a song about me, quinn.”

quinn rolled his eyes. “you don’t know its about you” he told.

jack scoffed, head shooting up. “she literally called me out. the parties, that stupid red sea reference, even the chorus. its so obviously me. and then her newer single that dropped thirty minutes ago?’

quinn shrugged, “could be about trevor”

jack rolled his eyes, “no way in hell, quinn. they never hooked up and her newer one is about some guy hooking up with her later on—“

“you sound obsessed, jack.” quinn told. jack looked down, embarrassed.

“whats jack obsessed with?” trevor asked, walking inside the kitchen. he stole a grape from jack and popped it into his mouth.

“y/n’s song” quinn spoke.

trevor scoffed, “why are you so hung up on it? its just music.” trevor shrugged.

“hes upset because hes getting called out.”

jack groaned again, head hitting the counter.

quinn rolled his eyes again. “you’ve gotta stop doing that dude. listen— she probably made these ages ago and just now got to releasing them.”

trevor popped another grape in his mouth. “not too sure about that, but i know she started writing them when you two broke up.”

luke slowly walks in. “seriously? you guys are torturing the man talking about his ex.”

jack nods, signifying lukes words to be true.. luke goes into the cupboard to grab a plate. “just ignore it.” he shrugged.

trevor snorted. jack sent the boy a glare, causing his laughter to abruptly stop. “how can i just ignore it? shes getting big and her music is everywhere already.” he asked.

quinn gave him a look. “then face it, jack. you can’t keep putting yourself in denial for something you caused.”

jack let out an exasperated groan for the 100th time. “gee, thanks quinn. way to make me feel better.”

“dont start giving him shit, jack.” luke spoke.

jack rolled his eyes. “whatever, im going to my room.” he got up and went for the stairs.

all three boys looked around at each other. silence fell through the room. suddenly, the sliding door opens. “whats going on?” cole asked.

“quinn picked his side of the argument.” trevor spoke, slightly glaring at quinn.

quinn gave one back, “dont act innocent, trevor. you screwed her over too. you and jack need to own up to it and stop cowering like little kids. you are both in your twenties for fucks sake. grow up.”

quinn went off to his room, leaving a wide eyed group of boys behind.

jacks brows furrowed as he listened to the song in his earbuds. his girlfriend napped next to him as he sat up on the bed. he hates to admit it, but he kinda deserved this.

“lets fast forward to three hundred awkward blind dates later. if shes got blue eyes, i will surmise that you’ll probably date her. you dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor, you search in every model—“

he stopped the song, taking his earbuds out and tossing them to the floor. he cheated, and now was dating the girl he cheated with. it was sad, really.

fiona, she was a woman who loved money. jack, was a man who loved attention. maybe that’s why they were together. but she wasn’t horrible like people said, right?

quietly, he went to tik tok and made a fake account, that way she knew he didn’t stalk her profile. i mean— she has no idea he even uses it still.

jack searched fionas name up, ultimately clicking on her profile. she had one video up. he clicked on it.

ick ick ick ick

she was lip syncing that really terrible audio that went ‘he chose me, he dont want you. he chose me’ and honestly, jack was appalled.

but before he could open the comments, she started to wake up. he swiped out of the app and deleted it, tossing his phone to the side afterwards.

“hey baby.” he smiled.

now that we dont talk!

tags! @honethatty12 (if u want tags, just ask <3)

[1d1195]

So I finally got around to reading protection and I thought it would be funny if I wrote down all my favorite parts bc I always wanna point them out, but I FORGET. It’s late and these are actually my live reactions bc im writing them in my notes as I read This will be long, this will probs be verryyy dumb (so if you don’t want to, pllsss don’t feel obligated to answer it, let it rot in your inbox😭)

The part where she’s like “hey niall! :D” and then switches up and yells at the supervisor 😭😭 AND NIALL IS JUST SHOOK BAHAHAHHA

Protocol. 

'He knew that she ended a lot of her doodles with little hearts'. As someone who always draws hearts every time I get my hand on a pen, I ADORE this little fact (there’s a statistic that says 56% of Americans write their first name when testing out a new pen, and I always say ‘well what’s the percentage of people who draw a heart cause it cant just be me’)

 Left covered in glitter and with a printed card that said Happy Holidays, but the L was a middle finger emoji. Funniest thing you’ve ever written actually. 

The whole codename talk OF COOURSE

protocol.

If he were my boyfriend this would be so controlling, I would be out of there in two seconds flat. Why am I liking all this? bc its harry duh, that man could throw me in the back of his trunk, leave me there for days, and I’d still be obsessed w him

It was next to impossible. She invaded his every thought. Like a little flower, a wildflower, poking through the cracks of his brain and growing where it shouldn’t.

Even if it was beautiful and lovely where it grew.

“I don’t care if y’don’t like me,” Harry knew that was a lie. He wanted her to like him so badly. unbelievably real, I get like this too harry dw

“Hate ‘em,” he nodded. She liked them. So, there was that; the olive theory would apply to them. THE OLIVE THEORY AWWWWWW

I was super psyched about the part where she cut her hand bc that literally happened to me today and ive got a huge gash & the napkins taped on me to prove it😭 (no harry to cheer me up tho smh🙄)

If I drank enough water, I would be too much for the world. She told him. I’d be unstoppable. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

he pressed his lips to her ear. “Is that why y’tense all the time? Just need t’come?” I SCREAMED

THE WHOLE SCENE AFTER THAT HELLO ???? DID YOU THINK THAT WAS OKAY ??? // tell everyone my cause of death was this: “Gonna listen t’me?” He asked. She nodded, gasping for air that didn't smell like Harry but enjoying that it did. “Say it,” he murmured. “For all the times y’didn’t.”

protocol !!!!!

Literally nothing abt chapter 7 because where the fuck would I even begin

Everything about chapter 8 was PERFECT I have no clue what you were worried about because girl I was HOOKED it was just PLOT PLOT PLOT the writing was AMAZING, the twists were AMAZING, her planning (or yours ig) AMAZINGGGGG, THE SHOOTING HER AS A DISTRACTION ????? HOLY FUCK

I will say tho, L harry cause I really wanted him to kill the dude😞

“Feel like this’ll be more paperwork for you. Just shoulda died,” ROLLING OVER IN MY GRAVE SHE’S SOOO FUCKING FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAH

cant believe u almost killing her was not enough for you LMFAOOOO

It wasn’t the time, but it was quite hot the way he held her trapped against her bed. She’s literally just a girl🎀

“What’s your favorite song?” She asked so innocently Harry could have cried. Your honor I LOVE her

I cannot believe that she literally got kidnapped AGAIN ???? BY HER FATHER ???? THIS POOR POOR GIRL

It was quite a humble moment for her. All those years of torturing agents and creating mountains of paperwork, building walls up so she didn’t even need protection...now they would probably let her die as the opportunity had presented itself. OUCH OUCH OUCHHHHHHHHHH

Harry’s gonna go gray before I finish this chapter

 He was strongly considering (and hoping) asking her if they could just put a chip in her. HAHAHAHAH as if. I will deadass settle for like a 200 hundred blurb JUST of that conversation between them

Diving into the chilly winter water, he hoped it wasn’t too late to save her again. This might be your most committed couple yet omg (no pun intended)

Ive never been happier to have not read a fic as you posted it because Samantha I SWEAR TO GOD this woulda drove me insane😭 IT DID DRIVE ME INSANE AND I WAS BINGE READING (I would’ve turned gray faster than harry)

“The hell is that?” He mumbled trying to make sense of the monstrosity on her lap. PFFTTTTTT love that crocheting is a styles’ family thing in this bc yes absolutely. im just picturing lil harry staying up late watching videos online to try to learn so he could be better than Gemma

im ADORING his constant worrying abt her getting a headache😭 its the sweetest thing ever

It was a crochet kit: a beginner's book, a set of hooks, and three different colored yarns. SHUT UPPPPP ITS AN INITIATION AHHHHH

“We’re gonna have to cope the way we need to. I will be my usual, hilarious self. And you can be mopey.” She’s literally me thank uuuu

The whole scene?? Youre my whole heart, completely exposed to the world ???? RIP me, rest in peace me, I. Died. Dead. 

“Wildflower, definitely wildflower.” 10 dead. 29 injured. ahhHHHHHHHH

Girl I am soooo sorry and like I said you absolutely don’t have to reply I just thought this would be fun and it might make you smile, also u deserve to know just how greatly appreciated your writing is, every bit of it <3

~🎶

So I truly enjoy everything I write (except Love and Dryer Sheets). I know inherently that Traditional is more popular but I think if I had to pick a favorite, Protection is by far my favorite story. I guess if I had to qualify maybe my favorite of 2023 at least. Idk what it was about it, I just loved writing every moment of it, I enjoyed my weird little dialogues and the silly little inside jokes. I thought the MC was really strong and wonderful--I aspire to be like her, ya know? Writing Harry's parts is always fun too but I think Protection Harry is the mushiest but shyest of them (probs because of his job) so getting him to open up to her was really fun to write too. idk.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY this is quite possibly the sweetest and nicest thing anyone has done for one of my stories. I love this so so so so so much. There are so many parts you pointed out that I cared SO deeply for that didn't necessarily get pointed out when I originally wrote it. It was so sweet to read them again from someone else's perspective. I probs won't catch everything but please know that I got this from you at 5 in the morning yesterday and I have read it no less than 100 times because I'm so honored that you enjoyed it enough to take notes 😭😭 and every single one made me SO happy and smiley.

I just read about the statistic about writing your name when handed a pen in a book I was reading! I bet the heart thing is a pretty cool stat too (whatever it is!).

PUTTING ME IN A TRUNK SAME.

nothing about part 7 I'm screaming 😂

I've mentioned it in another ask but when I write suspenseful things I already know where the suspense is leading so I just get super in my head about it because I think it's obvious about where it's leading?

You have ignited a new extra regarding putting a tracking chip in her 🤭

she is really funny tbh hehehehehe I like to believe I'm funny too because I like to think that's how I would react to a lot of these scenarios.

she IS just a girl (and she really just wants to get railed by Harry quite frankly. I think she deserves it lol she's been through a lot)

Almost killing her was the main part the kidnapping was extra because I was like "Aw crap, I forgot to tie up the daddy issues line" whoops hahahahahahaha

Idk if they crochet, I hope they do. I just needed something that siblings could argue over. I would kill to know what the sibling dynamic is between Harry and Gemma. It's gotta be hilarious.

I think Harry is going to worry about her the rest of his life and you're so right, he would go gray because of her hehehehehe

SAMANTHA hahahahahahaha I was thinking you would have hated to read this as I was writing it lol

10 dead 29 injured 😭💕 - I think most endings of my stories suck but again, I love this story so much, I humbly think I did a better job on this one 💕

in general the bullets where you quoted some of what I wrote was really sweet too. The part about not getting help because of how she treated them, the olive theory, the part about water, harry wanting her to like him, etc. etc. That really means so much to me that it seemed worth pointing out again 😭 thank you thank you thank you.

If there was anything I didn't reply to, it wasn't intentional, I just know this is the longest ask ever and I love it so much but I feel like it's going to continue forever if I don't stop 😭💕💕

YOU ARE THE BEST THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! IT'S SO WONDERFUL 💕

xoxo

[ladymariayuri]

oh if ur still doin this: 8, 5, and 1

im just gonnna do this for whatever i can think of first bc ive been answering asks based on what the person asking likes and you are one of my least Privy To My Video Games pilled mutuals but i love you okay enjoy the rants common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about coming in hot with a dmc opinion but i think everybody who flanderizes vergil into this selfish cunt who acts the way he does out of spite needs to let me hit them in the face with hammers. i literally love vergil so dearly and it pains me to see everybody reduce such an interesting dude into POWER XD DEADBEAT DAD XD. like you guys know that his obsession with gaining strength and almost every single step he has taken is because he never wants to feel as scared and small and powerless as he was when his mother died and he thinks his mother abandoned him to save dante but she didnt she died trying to save him and now he hates (hated) his brother because of it. everything in his entire life stemmed from the day their mother died and it grew into an almost fanatic obsession because he never wants to be that fucking helpless again. not to like say he did nothing wrong obviously or hes a poor little meow meow, hes anything but a poor little meow meow but vergil get behind me i will protect you from the redditors. also the deadbeat dad joke is overdone and boring. dude gets laid (somehow) after being in the torture nexus for god knows how many years, he DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE HAD A SON UNTIL DMC5 AFTER RIPPING NEROS ARM OFF. and anyway fuck all of you he gave nero his stupid corny poetry book when he left for hell and theres a menu screen background of nero and vergil chilling at the table and vergil is awkward because he doesnt know how to talk to his son but theyre just vibing okay. sniffles. sorry for going on a rant about vergil devil may cry are you mad at me worst discord server and why

im not really in any tumblrina discords or what you would consider "fandom" discords i pretty much only strictly use it to talk to like my overwatch friends. im in a lot of servers but its only like hub servers for information about stuff that i would want access to, not really community servers. with that being said, and i just commented this under a mutuals post, but the demon hunter class discord for wow is a god forsaken nuclear wasteland full of edgelords and misogynists and its so painful bc im just there to learn how to press buttons better the character everyone gets wrong raiden metal gear. sylvanas wow. wrathion wow. d.va overwatch. VERGIL DEVIL MAY CRY. dante devil may cry. trish dev- you get the point. maria/doll bloodborne is my most beloved but surprisingly ive found that like a majority of the fanbase is like sane/normal about her. its a nice breath of fresh air

[h0rr0rsaxo]

NEW OC DROP!

@insane-horror-movie-addict @grey-like-the-color @cheesefanboy2

NOTE: These will not all be super important! I don't wanna overloard anyone with too much info, so there is a chance these mfs won't be extremely important.

DAMON -

Basically, he's just a really nice God. He doesn't really know what he's doing there, and kinda just acts like a regular dude. His realm/land is just all winter, it's extremely cold there and only ice-related demonics live there. He's probably the kindest out of the Gods.

Closest reference I had to him.. not my art.

XAVERIUS BLOIS -

The man he's working for is extremely nice, but make no mistake, Xave is an ASSHOLE. He knows everybody's deepest secrets and will use it against them for literal mental manipulation. He's extremely cocky, and taunts people constantly, "You're a fucking idiot. Maybe that's why your mother died. She couldn't stand to live in a world where her child is an imbecile." He's also a snarky ass rich kid. He constantly taunts Fang whenever she's around and will expose her trauma to EVERYBODY.

His official face claim:

MEDUS LANCASTER -

The newest Akuma Giggler, and probably one of the worst. He shapeshifts into the person you hold dearest to you, and will impersonate them DAYS on end to find information on you. If he's impersonating someone, the only way to tell is if their blood is pink. Once he's found out, the shape-shifting form slowly melts off of him as he reveals his true form. He gets extremely obsessed easily and loves the taste of bloody candy.

Closest reference I had to him..

DOUGLAS PLANTA -

He's like the stereotypical bad boy, except he works for the mafia. He's actively hunting down Fang for a large amount of money, and found himself lost within the world of the paranormal. He's just trying to his job...rip. Not much is known about him, he's just an angry drunk. He HATES the Gigglers, and thinks they're super annoying (not suprised.)

Closest reference I had to him..

PARIS BEY -

She's basically the doctor, she's the one injecting pink liquid into the Giggler's veins. When Akuma is too lazy to give someone Giggler's sickness herself, she can directly inject it. She doesn't go on missions, but she's the one torturing people. When she talks, it's incredibly muffled because her mouth is stitched shut. She HATES anything slightly messed up, everything in her office is carefully organized.

Official face claim..

ETHAN GALANIS -

He's probably the most normal, no paranormal heritage and no knowledge of any of that bs. He's just Fang's friend that tries to hangout with her as much as he can, and she refers to him like he's a brother to her (he hates that he's ballsdeep in the friendzone) he's always trying his best to get her attention and actually be interesting. He's a little shorter than her and everyone treats him like he's a kid (he's literally 20.) He HATES being treated like he's younger.

Official face claim..

[the-brainrot-central]

Heyyyy you mentioned having ocs in a post, I believe…

Do you mind sharing? I like hearing about other people’s ocs 👉👈

OMG YES IM SO GLAD U ASKED

MICKEY

——She is a demon??? I think

——Was intended as part of this little idea I scrapped where several souls get trapped in purgatory because the gods can’t decide where they should go, or something like that, and so they are all just in this blank void slowly going insane together :)

——Each one of them is supposed to embody a concept or a trait of the human psyche in a way

——She symbolizes rage, righteousness, strong justice, hatred, as well as violence and malevolence, if she were a sin she would be Wrath

——Screams a lot, cries a lot, eats a lot, sleeps a lot. Being angry all the time is exhausting for her

——Her existence is just pain

——Frequently violent, favorite weapon is a baseball bat with spikes on the end

——She is chubby and short

——Has ratty, teased up pigtails

——She has a stand (of course) that is a black goopy tar sort of monster, like molten lava that’s all black with fiery, glowing eye sockets or something

Goobie gumba

——don’t have a name for this guy yet

——gender-fluid, all pronouns

——is a shapeshifter

——just a sad, sexy little bitch

——so very sad and sexy

——also has a stand

Old as fuck dude

——no name for him

——he is also in the Shadow Wizard Money Gang (they love casting spells 🪄)

——aka he is also in purgatory

——gay old man, very wise, very kind

——mostly a passive observer of chaos but he will give you a hug if you want

——for some reason I can only imagine him as fucking dumbledore

——but like skinnier and more sad looking

——and with glitter in his beard

——a cynic through and through

——has lost all faith

——has been around too long

——good with kids

——enjoys tarot card reading——he doesn’t believe in all the spiritual mumbo jumbo, he just uses them to pass the time

——has a stand, idk what yet

——someone save this poor man

—

Frankie (evil ver)

——Nasty stinky little man

——Also a demon????

——I hate him so much

——But he is babygirl

——Basically he is a manifestation of me and everything I hate about myself lmao

——Serial killer, cannibal. He likes to torture his victims before they die, it turns him on

——He is more powerful than the others so he can leave the purgatory dimension for brief 24 hour periods. This is how he gets his victims.

——He can’t really control his urges, he’s like an addict

——Little sense for morals, very hedonistic——he values his own pleasure above most things

——He symbolizes lust, gluttony and greed, among other things

——Horny but in a fucked up way

——Long, skinny, lanky, gremlin sized. You can see his ribs through the skin. Bigass fucking feet

——His stand is this grotesque, lovecraftian flesh monster, some beast with many eyes and mouths, covered in some sort of gross liquid like saliva. He can also manifest his stand as a bunch of meaty tentacles, they look like colons/intestines with sharp suckers on the end (think of a sea lamprey)

——Goes into states of feral regression, in which he loses his human intelligence and his brain degraded to that of a wild, bloodthirsty animal, driven by instinct and visceral urge. He loses the ability to talk in this state, instead making grunts and growls, barking, crawling on all fours. He becomes more violent and impulsive in this state

——will eat anything he finds off the ground, doesn’t care how dirty it is. Free food is free food

——Collects trash and random trinkets from the human dimension, hoards them in piles

Frankie (normal version)

——is a high schooler

——very athletic, great at sports

——Plays soccer very well but he hates it

——very egocentric, obsessive narcissism

——Doesn’t feel love or compassion for people, only cares about himself

——very talented but very unmotivated, gave up on life since the day he was born

——he’s a creep, a weirdo, what the hell is he doing here, he don’t belong here

——Is a good friend, despite his personal shortcomings

——doesn’t really like his friends

——doesn’t really like anyone at all to be honest

——he’s just some guy

——has a porn addiction, is into guro (yikes)

——is just not normal mentally, in any way

——just a rotten little fucker

I have more ocs but these are the ones specifically from the Purgatory universe. Might make a second post about the other silly guys

[ninelivesastrology]

tw: sex trafficking, sex slavery, human trafficking, bribery, racism, domestic violence, child endangerment, gun violence, coercive control

I just realized where the expendable money was coming from with my abuser because he would overcharge his cousin for rent and turned around and bribed people within my proximity with it, I think?

This dude threatened me with sex trafficking which is an insidious form of financial and sexual torture—Not abuse, torture.

Even the way he would talk to me about rent money, he was clearly inspired by pimps. "Where's my fucking money?" like sometimes I think my rent money was going straight to drugs because he would start fights exactly 6 days before I had to give it to him. You know how people go into withdrawal and start acting intolerable to the people around them? Clockwork. I'm not for certain, but that's what I think.

I remember him binging those 70s Blaxploitation films and of course, he got that book that all pimps learn how to traffick. I destroyed the first copy and he bought another just days after my ex fiance rescued me. My ex fiance told me he was showing off the destroyed book like a trophy and laughing until he saw my ex fiance's face. It ultimately doesn't matter whether or not he intended to, I mean, "I want you to work for me," with a evil smirk is a threat no matter how you twist it.

Then of course, he got a gun right after we had an argument because he was making me do everything in the house despite not being together and even if we were, that's not fair. The gun sent me running to be honest because the statistic goes that homicide in a domestic violence situation go up by 500% with a gun in the house. How higher is that percentage with alcohol and drugs involved. Like 800%.

And speaking of the gun, it was a T1911 with 45 ACP bullets, which is larger than what the police use. The police used these bullets before according to my ex fiance, but they were killing way too many people and switched to a smaller caliber. My fiance said it would literally maim you if you were shot. My ex fiance explained that the bullets could go through the wall and hit someone in the next townhouse.

The night following the purchase, my abuser brought his friends over and it was loaded, safety off and he was showing it off and passing it around with his friends. He didn't buy a gun safe and his cousin's daughter (10-12 years old, I don't know) would come by the house and go through his shit. That night, his best friend pointed the gun at my ex fiance's head. We both stepped outside because we were scared. Like at any point, that could've gone off by accident or on purpose.

The last time I saw the gun, my abuser was at work and I was with my ex fiance and we found it under a stack of mail on his computer desk. We didn't touch it. Omg, you can never put your fingerprints on someone else's gun. My ex fiance looked up the schematics of the gun and could see that it was loaded with the safety off. Man, I love shooting games and stuff like that, but that's fictional? Being around a gun in real time is just unnerving, I've never been that stressed out before.

This is why capitalism is scary in this context because people are looking for vulnerable people to exploit, like my abuser wanted to be a landlord, then got obsessed with being a pimp and more specifically being my pimp and I don't think he ever let it go because the coercive control is just... like I can't come up with another reason. Landlords and pimps make expendable income with ZERO effort.

Mind you, sex trafficking is domestic violence. The person likely to traffick you is not some stranger in a white van, it's someone you know (friend, family member, current or past romantic partner) who will groom you into it or force you outright. And being that this was an interracial relationship, it is basically a hate crime.

[sunshineistyping]

Hey, can you please write some yandere daycare attendant headcannons?

I absolutely can!

Yandere Headcannons

Characters: Sun and Moon (The Daycare Attendant)

Warnings: Blood, Torture, Obsession, Branding, Extremely unhealthy relationships, It’s yandere headcannons what did you expect

———————————————————————

SUN

Sun is definitely the more kind of the two

That doesn’t mean you should take him with a grain of salt either, he is just as in love as his darker counterpart

I can see him being obsessive rather then possessive, the one who’s always watching you and desperate to touch you. Your skin is perfect, absolutely perfect...

Has extremely dark thoughts with your skin but never acts on any of the darker stuff

Dude wouldn’t even let you eat alone

He wants you safe

You’re safest beside him, right?

Honestly, he’s a lot more rough then you think. If you try to run at first he just keeps bringing you back, scolding you

“Stop it! I’m trying to keep you safe, don’t you see that?” His grip tightens to the point you’re fully aware you’re going to bruise. Yet all you can do is cry and shake, how long is he going to keep you up in his room? You already know the answer. As long as you’re still breathing.

Eventually he’ll get tired of you running and having to chase you. He’ll just start drugging you by force feeding you sweets, moondrops specifically, until you crash

Literally will keep you asleep most of the day so he doesn’t have to worry about you, and don’t think you’re safe from his rough grip when he’s angry. Sure he takes care of injuries you get but that doesn’t mean he won’t cause some of them

The most he does is bruise your wrists but if you really piss him off, probably by making a successful getaway, be warned he isn’t afraid to take away privileges

What privileges? Sleeping. Eating. Medical care after Moons torture. He isn’t afraid to resort to depravation of basic needs until you submit. Don’t worry though, it will never be enough to kill you

Give him a kiss, hold his hand, don’t run away, play nice and you’ll be okay

He might even let you see your family and friends again if you’re good!

Very heavy into a reward system, again, feed into it, let him love you and you’ll live a semi-normal life!

———————————————————————

MOON

This guy is all kinds of messed up

He believes more in a punishment system, you don’t listen, you do something he doesn’t like? He’ll hurt you. Sometimes he does it on ‘accident’.

And the most fucked up part of it is that he likes it

He relishes in your fear and the way you scream and run, your blood, the snap of your bones

You’re so fragile and he loves it like the sick fuck he is ♡

“Shush Lamb, you have only yourself to blame. Had you just listened I wouldn’t have to hurt you. Now be a good little girl/boy/lamb and take your punishment.”

He's possessive, scarily possessive. That's usually what leaves him angry enough to brand you like an animal. You talked to someone he didn't like? He snaps your arm like a twig, he carves his name into you, you’re his. Right? RIGHT?

He doesn't care as long as he owns you

And he will protect you from everyone, hes the only one allowed to scare you. Hurt you. Make you cry or bleed. In some ways it's the only time he's somewhat a ‘normal boyfriend’

He hates everyone who looks at you, hates everyone that thinks they mean anything to you, he wants you and he wants to control you

Would end up mentally destroying you somehow, don't stay an empty doll for long though. Then you're no fun.

Then he’ll kill your friends and family in front of you to make a point, you'll learn to feel again even if he has to torture your loved ones

There's no set way to make Moon happy, scream loud when he hurts you, cry into his shoulder afterwards to make him want to love on you and stay entertaining

Oh and whatever you do, do NOT tell him Sunny treats you better.

He’ll do much worse then just break your arm. He’ll almost kill you and no amount of trying to tug on his heartstrings will save you this time

———————————————————————

They’re both really fucked up and while your relationship with Sunny can be salvaged, your relationship with Moon can’t. He loves you because you’re entertaining and have a spark nobody else has. If you lose it, you’re worthless to him. But Sunny loves you. Like really loves you.

Just a little too much...

———————————————————————

[aceofwhump]

Guys

The Weeping Monk.

The Weeping Monk has become my new obsession. I love him. I knew I would because seeing all the gifs of him in tumblr is why I watched in the first place I didn't not expect for him to capture my interest so much. It's not the strongest hyperfixation I've ever had but it is one nonetheless and I'm thrilled. Welcome the list of "Ace's Favorite Whumpees"!!

SPOILERS ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously I got ramble and let some spoilers loose so if you want to watch it still and don't want spoilers just keep scrolling

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So not only is Daniel Sharman fucking gorgeous but Daniel Sharman looking like this?

With the eyes and the hood and the darkness and the scruff. Oh hell yeah! He's like some omen of death with that cloak. I love it.

So why do I like the Weeping Monk so much?

Well first of all I LOVE A GOOD REDEMPTION STORY!!!!! Like so much! I blame Zuko for that. But if you give me a bad dude who's done some bad shit but also has one hell of a traumatic past then put him on a path of redemption and healing? I’M SOLD! And at the end of the season, The Weeping Monk has been set on his redemption beginnings and I will die if Netflix doesn't give us a season 2 so I can see this boy walk his new path towards redemption and healing. I crave it.

But anyway. This man right here. The emotional angst and whump he exudes is so lovely.

Towards the end of the season we find out that he's Fey and I fucking lost my shit. This boy is a Fey who was raised by the people who hate Fey. His people were killed and he was taken as a child by the same people who murdered them. He was then brainwashed to believe he was demon born and evil and a sinner purely for existing and was taught to punish himself for it (he whips himself in a form of self flagellation!) and I'm sure he was punished for all sorts of things growing up by his "Father". The amount of self hate and self doubt he must feel breaks my heart. He knows he's Fey! He remembers his real name (also that reveal sent me to another plane of existence) so he must have some memories of his family and his people. But he's spent his whole life being used as a weapon against his own people and brainwashed into thinking he was saving them because fey are inherently damned. And that's all he is to the Red Paladins. A weapon. But he sees them as his people, his family because that's all he knows!

This dude is so broken and brainwashed and lost it just breaks my heart.

LOOK AT HIM!! Look at this lost and broken boy!! He just needs some love and affection dammit!! I mean he flat out asks "Do you love me Father?" AHHH!!

And oh my god this conversation between him and Gawain?!

Allow me to share the whole conversation because I need to talk about it.

Gawain: Don’t be afraid Ash Man. I don’t bite. It’s those eyes. The mark of the Ash Fold. There haven’t been any in these lands for centuries. How did you find your way here? Have you just come to watch me die?

The Weeping Monk: Why didn’t you tell them? Before...you could have told them. But you didn’t. Why?

G: Because all Fey are brothers. Even the lost ones

WM: This suffering, it will cleanse you.

G: You parrot these words, but you know it’s all lies. I can feel it in you, my brother.

WM: You are not my brother.

G: They have turned your mind so far inside out...that you don’t know the difference between kindness...and hate. Who did this to you?

WM: We are saving souls. Your soul.

G: Tell that to the little ones that you burn.

WM: I don’t harm the children

G: You burn their homes, you slay their mothers and their fathers, and you watch your Red Brothers run them down on horses. And you see it all through those weeping eyes. That makes you guilty. Brother! You can fight. I’ve never seen anything like it. You could be our greatest warrior. Your people need you.

WM: You are not my people.

G: Then tell them. If this is where you belong, tell them what you are.

WM: I’ll pray for you.

G: And I you.

First of all this conversation is the reason I now ship these two. Just saying. Gawain saw that he was kin, that he was lost, that he was broken and reached out to try and help him even though he is the reason he is being tortured. I can’t with these two! But also, the WM felt guilty about turning him in and worried about his own fate but you can tell that Gawain’s words sink in and set something inside of him and it’s because of Gawain that WM is now on this path of his. AND Gawain! I fully expected him to hate this man after everything hes done but he saw a lost and broken fey brother and tried to help him and I just...Gawain is so good you guys! This whole exchange is just *chefs kiss*. Cause after this the WM saves Squirrel.

Which leads me to Squirrel and the Weeping Monk. The other reason I desperately need season 2 is because I can't wait to see this unexpected pairing. I mean come on, big bag tough guy with trauma becomes unexpectedly joined with a young child? Best trope ever. Plus he got his ass kicked pretty bad and I need season 2 start off with that so I can see Squirrel take care of this injured man. Anyway, these two are going to have a great adventure getting back to the Fey and I NEED TO SEE IT!!! I want to see Squirrel and Lancelot bond and Squirrel defend him against Fey who hate him and for Lancelot to reluctantly become attached and defensive of this Fey boy and AHHHHHH!!

Oh and side note: One of my favorite tropes occurred. Defeated in battle, manhandled to their knees and hood pulled off revealing their bruised and bloody face. God yes please.

Time for some headcanons:

Okay he's totally touch starved am I right? This boy hasn't known a kind touch in his whole life. Pain is all he's known. The Paladins only touch to punish him or wield him. And he thinks he deserves it. He deserves the pain. The punishment. But kindness? A soft touch? Someone tending his injuries gently? He doesnt know what to do it that. He ends up stiffening or flinching away from the blinds hands of the fey, confused at first but slowly he starts to crave that kind touch.

Squirrel is always hugging him. Like whenever he sees him. And WM doesnt know what the fuck to do with that. You think he ever for hugged? I DOUBT IT! So hes all stiff and awkward and kind of bears it but after a while he starts hugging back kind of awkwardly.

Oh and speaking of tending his injuries I can almost guarantee that he has either had to tend to his own injuries in the past or he didn't do anything for them at all. But he's in a Fey camp now and the Fey help each other so when he and squirrel first show up at the camp and a he's taken to a healer and at first he balks and is like "I'm fine" but people like Pym and Squirrel and Gawain (YES GAWAIN! I have thoughts hang on) are like clearly you're not so just sit down before fall down again and let Pym heal you! AND then we get a scene of them all seeing the scars and fresh lashes and being horrified

Okay Gawain. He's not dead and he and Lancelot become best bros (or lovers cause I kind of ship them so much. Forget Nimulot. It's Gawain and Lancelot all the way) and Gawain protects him from the Fey who want to kill him after Squirrel and Lancelot arrive at the makeshift Fey camp and he's taken prisoner. Gawain watches him and see his humanity and goodness and self hate and trauma and Lancelot has someone who sees him as a "brother" as someone lost but not irredeemable and they fall in love okay bye

His powers as one of the Ash Folk. We know he can track. But from what we saw what if he's also got some camouflage or healing abilities hes never explored. NEVER EXPLORED BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT A MANIFESTATION OF HIS INNER DEMON!!!

Also, I saw these two onset pics and now I'm ready for this to be s2 WM and Squirrel.

Okay rant over. Sorry. Bye now ✌

[lesbianrobin]

☕️ Harringrove

i think i've gone into this a lot on my blog already so i'll try to keep it concise vkdjcjfj

so like. in canon obviously it's the worst fuckin ship imaginable barring like. in/cest or pe/dophilia. billy is weirdly obsessed with steve, and even if you believe that obsession is sexual in nature, steve still hates billy's guts and wants nothing to do with him. billy is still violently racist. billy is still an abuser. billy still hurts innocent children for fun. billy still beat steve into unconsciousness and probably would have killed him if max hadn't intervened.

the whole h@rringrove fandom is just comprised of pure fetishization. i'm not even just talking about people who fetishize gay men and mlm relationships!! these people also fetishize abuse, violence, and homophobia itself.

people who claim to like billy of all characters because they relate to him having an abusive father are flatout lying, either to you or to themselves. jonathan has an abusive father, as does will, as does el, as does kali, as does max (while we don't see her with neil at any point in the show or hear about their relationship in particular, she does live with him and it's highly unlikely that his controlling and abusive attitudes are restricted only to her mother and billy). dustin seemingly has no father in the picture, and steve's father appears to be an authoritarian who doesn't care much for his family and considers humiliation an effective form of discipline.

all this is to say... if you have adverse experiences with your father and you want representation for that in stranger things, you really don't need to look far. lonnie literally shoves jonathan up against a wall in the second episode, and implies that he's done it before. jonathan hates his father, and believes him capable of kidnapping will and keeping him locked in a goddamn trunk. lonnie doesn't even give a shit when will "dies." so why don't people look to will and jonathan for that representation? why don't they write long fics exploring jonathan's or will's experience with abuse and recovery?

oh, that's right. they can only relate emotionally to dudes they wanna fuck!

i've made this argument a million times before, but literally Every Single Element of h@rringrove that might be compelling or fun in a ship also exists in stonathan, and people just latched onto h@rringrove because they think billy's hotter. billy's just another ugly white dude in a loooong line of ugly white dudes in media that get woobified and obsessed over despite being racists, abusers, sometimes even Literal Fascists (hi kyle ron). because billy's got an abusive father, people are willing to overlook the way he abuses max, the way he attacked lucas, and the way he harrassed steve, and they'll bend over backwards to justify and excuse all of it, many of them arguing that billy's only Like That because he's gay and he's so tortured over it that he HAS to do shit like trying to fucking murder steve. what else do you do when you like a guy??? OBVIOUSLY billy is in love!!!

it's absolutely disgusting. if any h@rringroves are still hanging around my blog for some godforsaken reason: stop romanticizing abuse. stop using homophobia to justify racism, violence, and abuse. being a victim of homophobia does not transform men into abusive beasts, nor should it absolve such behavior. being gay does not excuse racism.

violence is so fucking normalized in gay mens' depiction in the media, and you are buying into and perpetuating that bullshit that is actively harming gay and bisexual men. stop it! just fucking stop and take a look at the shit you're jerking off to and ask yourself what that says about you, what that says about your view of gay men and gay relationships, and what that says about the kind of shit you're willing to overlook for your own benefit. why do you think violence is an indication of attraction? why do you think that racism is excusable? why do you go to such lengths to justify this shit? why?

god fuck anyway. thanks for asking sorry i wrote so much i feel like i didn't even say anything skcjdjcjcn

[winterrose527]

The Favor, Part 2: Rome, Italy

(Part 1 can be found here)

Rome, Italy

“I totally could’ve been a gladiator,” Theon determined as they left the Colosseum.

Jon nodded, “I can see it.”

Robb turned to look at him, “You can?”

“Oh yeah,” Jon agreed, readily, “I often have daydreams of Theon being eaten by lions.”

Robb chuckled as Theon and Jon circled one another.

He had no idea how either of them had this much energy. They’d taken well advantage of the Roman nightlife last night, and hadn’t gotten in until the sun was rising. And what a sun it was. It had to be over a hundred degrees out here, sucking all of the energy right out of him. That mixed with tourists.

The fact that he was one didn’t temper his disdain for them.

He didn’t like to complain, but he couldn’t wait to get to the seaside. They had a train to Naples the next day, and from there they’d go to the Amalfi Coast. They’d stay there for a few days, before flying to Ibiza to meet up with some friends. He was then heading to London to start his new job, and the boys were flying home.

This trip was a bit of a farewell tour to their youth. Or, that’s how he felt now but he always got a little dramatic when he was hungover.

They’d graduated in the spring and thanks to all having their next steps lined up for the fall, had one last carefree summer. Theon was heading to law school, Jon to work for Mormont, who he’d been interning with since his freshman year, and Robb was off to London to put his degree in international business to good use.

When he’d made his decision to take the offer, Theon had suggested a bit of a Eurotrip to send him off and Jon had readily agreed. Since he’d only ever been to France, on a trip with his entire family when he was seventeen, he had jumped at the opportunity for a proper send off.

They’d been making the most of their travels, Theon falling in love with a different girl every night, he and Jon certainly having their heads turned from the sights as gorgeous European girls walked by them arm in arm.

“I need to take a piss,” Theon informed them.

“Me too,” Jon said and then clapped Theon in the chest, “Let’s go to that café, I need another espresso or I’m gonna die.” He looked at him, “You want anything?”

Robb rubbed his temples, “Just a water – flat. FLAT FLAT FLAT.”

Italy’s obsession with sparkling water was the only thing he didn’t like about it.

“I believe you mean agua naturaaaale,” Theon informed him.

“Dude, stop trying to speak Italian,” Jon sighed, “You get laughed at every time.”

“Pardon me for trying to break the Ugly American stereotype,” Theon argued.

“You literally are wearing American Flag shorts as we speak,” Robb pointed out.

“You come for my Chubbies you make me question our entire friendship,” Theon all but shouted at him.

Jon held him back and then pushed him across the street, the two of them nearly getting hit by half a dozen cars on their way over. People were honking, tourists were pointing.

So much for overcoming the Ugly American sterotype.

He looked up at the Colosseum. It had been one of the places he was most excited to see, though he knew that was pretty cliché of him. He couldn’t help it, though. He’d always been fascinated by the bloodier bits of history, and sure, yes, maybe seeing Gladiator had been a defining moment in his youth.

It was unbelievably impressive, structurally, obviously, but as he had walked through it he hadn’t been thinking about that. He hadn’t even been thinking about how gruesome it was.

He’d honestly been thinking of how he would have performed.

Most likely he would have gotten eaten by lions as well as Theon but maybe –

“Excuse me?” an American voice interrupted his thoughts.

“The entrance is over there,” he pointed.

“Yeah the um, line of people sort of tipped me off,” she joked and he turned to her.

Her voice was familiar, but that was only a passing thought when he took her in. She was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen.

A bonafide All-American beauty.

She looked familiar, too. Is she a model? He wondered if he’d seen her in a commercial or in one of Sansa’s magazines. She had the face for it, though admittedly she was a bit short. She hardly even came up to his shoulder.

“Do I know you?” he asked.

She shook her head, “I don’t think so but listen okay so this is going to sound crazy – I actually can’t believe she talked me into it again, but um… can you just – um… please don’t… I can’t even ask…shit.”

He was sort of overcome watching the cutest panic attack he’d ever seen, when all of a sudden she was kissing him.

Oh.

He knew her. Of course he knew her. She had dominated his thoughts for the entire summer in between his junior and senior years of high school. In fact, when he’d shown up for his freshman year of college, he’d have been lying if he hadn’t looked around, hoping to see her at orientation. Though it had been years since he’d thought of her apart from a passing memory.

While he was sorting all of this out, she was kissing him and his arms had wrapped around her without thinking about it.

“Thanks,” she smiled as she pulled away.

“Got it!” a voice said off to the right, “Come on Ella, we’ve got to go!”

“Ella,” he smiled, drinking her in.

“That’s me! Anyway, thanks for your help,” she said, and started to walk away, “You’re a really good kisser. So um, well done.”

He laughed, watching her walk away. A brunette girl going and linking her arm through hers, the pair walking away from the main line of people to a shorter one.

“Wait!” he called, realizing that this was happening again.

He’d made a mistake letting his Mom pull him away last time. He should have gotten her number. Her full name. Her agreement to be his forever.

“Ella-,” he called, but she’d disappeared in the throngs of tourists.

Damn this hangover.

He started moving through them, determined to catch sight of her. She wasn’t in line, but then he heard a laugh that had to be her and he looked through to see her walking into the Colosseum with a smaller group.

There was a guard posted at the entrance she must have gone through.

“Uhh… ciao um… yo necessito, fuck no that’s Spanish,” he sighed, the guard looking at him, “Look I need to get in there really quickly.”

“Private tour,” he shook his head.

“I know, I know I’ve already been in I don’t care about the Colosseum -,” the guard looked at him like he’d just insulted his mother and he shook his head, “No I do it’s great but there… did you see the beautiful girl that walked through here? Blonde? About this high? She is… very very bella,” at this point he was wondering if his butchering of the Italian language could be considered a hate crime but she was now nowhere in sight, “Please can I just go in for one minute.”

“No,” the guard said in a bored tone.

“Look,” he sighed, “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

“Fuck off, man!” the guard shouted at him.

“Alright, alright!” he backed up.

He went around the large line of people and found Theon and Jon looking around for him.

“Where the fuck did you go?” Theon asked as Jon handed him a bottle of water.

“We need to get you guys out of the sun,” Jon said, “It makes me uncomfortable when I’m the one in the best mood.”

“Shut up for a second,” Robb told them, looking around for more exits, “Look, she’s here.”

“Who is?” Theon asked, “That crazy girl from Prague?”

“No! No, her. The girl who kissed me in Paris, do you reme-,” he started.

He was cut off by the groan heard around the world.

Theon shook his head, “I’m not going through this with you again, man.”

Jon was rubbing his temples, his eyes wide but on the ground, “I really thought we were past this.”

“No, shut up, listen to me, she is here. It just happened again,” he told them. “I was just standing here and she came up to me and she’s even hotter than she was then and she just kissed me.”

“Did she know it was you?” Theon asked.

“Um I don’t think so,” Robb answered.

“And where is she now?” Jon asked.

“In there,” Robb pointed to the Colosseum.

“Okay, so let’s review,” Theon said, “This girl has twice now come up to you - a total fucking stranger and asked you to kiss her. Neither time has she in any way tried to prolong your acquaintance. How do you know she isn’t doing this to a different guy in every city she goes to?”

“Don’t talk about her like that,” Robb warned.

“Don’t do this,” Jon shook his head, “I am not listening to you moon over her for the rest of this trip. I will chuck you over the cliffs of Ravello.”

“So help me find her,” Robb pleaded. And then without warning shouted, “ELLA!”

“Dude!” Theon warned.

“Seriously security is eyeing us,” Jon noted, looking around.

“Guys - ow stop pulling me!” he ordered as both Jon and Theon had grabbed an arm and were currently dragging him away.

“Wouldn’tve lasted a day in their man,” Theon shook his head.

He looked back, as though she might be peering at him through the ruins even now.

*

The next day as they were on the train to Naples, his heart stopped every time he saw a blonde walking by.

“You’re torturing yourself,” Jon told him.

“I should have waited,” he shook his head.

Jon and Theon shared a look, which to his eyes looked a bit guilty – which they should since they all but carried him away from her – and leaned forward.

“Look, if she’s the one, you’ll see her again,” Jon promised.

“And in the meantime, you’ll meet a good English bird and forget all about her,” Theon suggested.

Robb scoffed.

As though any girl in the entire city of London could hold a candle to Ella.

[darker-soft-starker]

Starker High School AU, Pt 3 (Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 4, Pt 5)

-----

There were two things in life that Peter was unequivocally certain were true.

Number one was that Monday mornings were a universally despised, unpleasant experience that no weekend could ever ease the pain of having to endure.

And number two: Sit-ups were a specific and profound mechanism of torture that no person should ever be required to engage in, recreationally or mandated.

Of course, it would be just his luck that the two were combined on this very Monday morning.

It was cruel and unusual is what it was, Peter thought, hands curled at his temples as he pushes himself into a sitting position, falling back onto the dewy grass with a thud that steals the breath from his chest.

Bucky, holding his ankles, encourages him to complete his set.

“I can’t,” Peter gasps, his stomach trembling as he pulls himself up again. “I - oh fuck - I hate this. I hate exercise.”

Bucky squeezes his ankles tighter. “C’mon, Parker, only three more. You can do it.”

Peter shakes his head, even as he pulls himself up again with a pained groan.

“No, I can’t. Make it stop.”

“Two more. You got it. Sit-ups are not the boss of you.”

“Yes - ahh - they are!”

“One more!”

Sweat pours down his neck and his muscles protest as he pulls himself up for the last time. He gets probably only most of the way up before his gravity slams to the ground.

Bucky slaps his bare calf encouragingly as Peter stares up into the glaring morning sun, arms splayed out, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. Oh, god. Never again. That was the worst. 

Covering his eyes with his quivering arms he wonders if maybe coach will indulge him just this once. Maybe he can stay here until training is over, perhaps curl up into a ball and try to blend in with the grass so that no one sees him or subjects him to any more exercise. 

Except Coach Danvers is already yelling at him to get off the ground and get moving.

He smacks his hands over his ears but it’s no use.

“Get up Parker, last warning!”

“Respite!” He yells back pleadingly, curling in tighter upon himself. “Please!”

Her whistle pierces the air.

“Now!”

Coach has been on edge all morning. Her harsh has turned razor edged in the face of their upcoming match against Kingston this Thursday, reminding the team of her expectations, tolerating nothing other than complete dedication.

Which, whatever.

Peter’s dedicated, okay? It’s Monday. He dragged his ass out of bed to be here at an unholy hour, exhausted and bloated from his indulgent weekend, didn’t he?

Erring on the margin of spite towards Danvers and self motivation, which he suspects is her aim, he pushes himself back up. Taking each of Bucky’s ankles in his grip, he starts counting as Bucky begins his set. 

Not that he needs the assistance, Bucky proves his strength by ripping through the set like a bull stampeding through a brick wall. He doesn’t even break a sweat. Dude’s crazy athletic.

It’s really not fair.

As he mentally counts the reps, Peter thinks Bucky’s the kind of fit that Peter both hoped and never hoped to be. He’s effortlessly capable at any physical task, but he works hard for it, harder than Peter would ever dream of working, dedicating hours to gym time and conditioning. Bucky’s not even out of breath when he strikes up conversation. 

“How was your weekend, PP?”

“S’okay. Played Mario Kart with my Aunt all weekend.”

Bucky grins as his upper half rises to meet his knees. “Oh, party animal. She doing okay?”

“Yeah, she’s good,” Peter grins wryly, taking one of his hands from the other’s ankle to push the sweat-damp hair from his eyes. “Kicked my ass though. She always takes Toad.”

“Switch?”

“Nah, GameCube. How was your weekend?”

“Boring. Parents were home all weekend and wanted some ‘family time’.”

“So, you just watched The Voice all weekend?”

“Yup.”

“Nat sneak in after?”

“Yup. How’d it go with Stark on Friday?” Bucky accepts Peter’s hand as he finishes his set. Peter pulls him up and pats him on the back.

The set off in a jog to complete a lap of the field, Coach yells that only five minutes are left, urging them to pick up speed. Peter’s lungs burn when he speaks.

“It was fine.”

Bucky looks at him dubiously, flyaways whipping at his face.

“Well not like, fine-fine, but no bloodshed. See? All limbs intact.” He holds his arms out mid-sprint. 

“Wow, so you’re basically best friends now.”

“No.”

“Did you hold hands and braid each other’s hair?”

Incensed, Peter shoves at Bucky to the sound of his snickering,

“Ew, stop, I just had breakfast. Look, the first experience was painful enough. Can we move on? I really don’t want to talk about it.”

---

“And then he hit on my Aunt,” Peter complains in the showers, soaping up his chest. “Literally right in front of me. Who does that?”

“Did she flirt back?” Bucky asks, dipping his head into the spray. 

“What? No. He said he was just trying to get under my skin,” he puts his head beneath his own shower head, the water pleasantly lukewarm against his heated skin. “I mean, what kind of psychopath does that?”

“Yeah, but your aunt is super hot though,” Wilson says to his right. “Stark’s an asshole, but he’s not crazy.”

There is a general murmur of agreement around the showers. 

“I’m going to need you all to shut up right now,” Peter warns, turning to point at them all. “Keep my aunts name out of your mouth while you’re washing your balls, alright?”

“You heard him, move on,” Rogers cuts in, offering Peter a sympathetic smile. 

He nods gratefully as conversation quickly turns to girls, grades and the upcoming Thanksgiving holidays. There was a reason why Peter was on Roger’s side all these weeks ago, he thinks, observing how the entire team respects his command without query. The guy was just interested in doing the right thing, and that’s pretty cool.

By the time they’re all dried and dressed, the topic is forgotten, much to Peter’s relief. He’s nearly late to first period though, too busy watching Wilson and Barnes smack each other with wet towels and attempting to tame his unruly curls into something resembling neatness. He’s not proud of the amount of gel it takes, but it’s what he’s got to work with. 

It’s not that he’s obsessed with his appearance or anything, but he has a routine that he sticks to. Gel and lots of it.

Once, in third grade, Flash pulled one of Peter’s tightly coiled ringlet between his fingers, pulled on it and said oink. Peter still had some lingering baby fat at the time and so, as cruel as children can be, Peter was donned Piggy Parker for a time afterwards. Sometimes Porky Parker. They’re friends now, but the oinking and snuffling that followed him around the playground still haunts him.

Anyway.

On the way to first period Rogers walks alongside him down the hall. They have English together, but usually make their way separately. It kind of weirded Peter out for a moment because while they’re team-mates, they’re not really friends. 

“Heard you got paired with Stark for an assignment,” the other boy says, his wry smile caught between amused and sympathetic. “That’s shit luck, Parker.” 

“You’re telling me,” Peter agrees, waving to Ned and Betty as they pass. “Dude’s a freakin’ prick.”

Rogers bumps their shoulders together.

“You said it. Want me to have a word with him, get him to back off?”

“Nah,” Peter shakes his head. “I can handle Stark, he’s just some bored rich kid looking for a fight. Besides,” he gives Rogers a once-over, “pretty sure you’re supposed to keep your distance after your last brawl with him.”

“True,” he concedes, clamping Peter’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze as they stop before their room. “But we’re a team, alright? Just say the word and I’ll encourage some sense into him. Promise to be gentle.”

Peter clamps his hands over his heart with a flair of drama, despite being truly touched. “You’re my hero, Captain Rogers.”

Rogers rolls his eyes and shoves him into the classroom.

“Alright, smartass. Let’s go.”

Inside, he smiles sheepishly at Mrs Perez who glowers at them for their lateness and takes his usual seat between Clint and Shuri. He signs a good morning to the former and smiles at the latter, who is staring down at her desk with disdain.

“What’s wrong?” He nudges her chair with his foot to grab her attention.

“The curriculum.” She raises her head and points to the board miserably. It reads Lord of the Flies.

Oh, great. He could use the nap.

Peter smiles sympathetically, opening his nearly full notebook up to a blank page. “How was your weekend?”

“Meh.”

“Meh?”

“Mmm,” She nods, gesturing airily. “You know, eh. Oh, oh! I heard you spent the weekend getting cosy with Stark,” Shuri follows, pretending to search through their textbook. “Wow, that’s a three-sixty, PP. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“What?” Peter hisses, voice lowering when their teacher looks around as roll-call commences. “That’s not -- ”

“Parker!” Perez yells for roll call.

“Present!”

Shuri snickers as Peter’s hand shoots up.

Lucky for him it’s the last he hears of it.

Kinda.

---

His next class is Bio with MJ who, thankfully, says very little through class. She inspects him with bleary eyes when he enters, nursing a coffee in her hands, always earlier than Peter who has to come from the other side of the school.

Peter’s grateful for the reprieve. When she does speak to him, it’s to borrow a pen or to offer him a sip of her coffee. It’s not a lab class today, only note-taking and listening to their teacher drone on about plant anatomy in the same monotone, so he accepts the bitter black coffee without hesitation.

It’s only then that he ventures to initiate conversation.

“So,” he begins precariously, doodling in his notebook, “how was your weekend?”

She shrugs, appearing more awake than earlier. “It was okay. You?”

“It was okay.”

And that was that, he’s relieved to note, companionable silence falling between again as they turn their attention to their teacher again. It’s not until they’re packing up their books at the end of class that MJ speaks to him again.

“See you at lunch?”

“Yeah, dude. Save us a table?”

“You bet. Oh, and by the way, I heard Stark is gonna be your new step-daddy. Congrats.”

Peter groans.

“How do you -- you know what, no,” he says, pulling his backpack over his shoulders and making a x with his arms. “Nope. No more talking about Stark, he is persona non grata. I’m traumatised enough.”

MJ pushes his glasses up after they slipped precariously down his nose during his declaration. “You’re so dramatic, dude.”

He bumps their shoulders together on the way out of the room and shakes his head.

“Why do people keep saying that?”

---

Ned texts him during recess; Peter is taking an extended break in the bathroom despite not needing to be there, but he’s definitely not hiding, nope. He’s just chilling in the cubicle.

< heard stark spent the weekend < lol wtf < plz verify < actually i don’t want to know < no wait i do tell me < dude

< hello?

----

Traitors, all of them.

He wonders if he should leave this school and start anew elsewhere.

---

Here’s the thing.

As much as Peter loves his friends, he has limits to how long he can spend with them before needing a time out.

They’re his motley crew of village idiots. Some he’s known since first grade, like Ned and Flash, others only since he came to the school and subsequently, the football team.

This school headhunted him because of his academic merit. With his pursuit of scholastic excellence - and the fact that some of his best friends would be attending the school, he applied for and was awarded a scholarship. It was a no-brainer - he had big dreams and even bigger expectations of himself to achieve them and he wanted May to be proud of him.

Which was why when it was suggested that he try out for JV, having exhibited some physicality during gym class, he decided to give it a try. It would look great to have on his applications, he was assured.

So he did. Somehow his wiry frame and years of gymnastics was considered an asset and he was promptly recruited by Coach Danvers. At first he deeply regretted the additional commitment -- the early hours, the soreness, adapting to the internal culture within the team. But he’s persevered and he’s glad that he did. 

And for the most part, he copes okay. He can juggle football obligations and after-school activities and the odd tutoring jobs here and there and stay sane, right?

Sort of.

Because as grateful as he was for his broad circle of friends, Peter was still, at heart, an introvert. And right now, his social energy is running on fumes. 

It’s because of this - and nothing to do with the relentless questions about Stark - that Peter retreats to the library at lunch that day. 

Nestled away in the dusty, back corner, near the collection of old encyclopaedias that nobody reads, are an assortment of bean bags. It’s away from the main area, quiet and disregarded by most. It used to be a thriving recreational area way before Peter’s time, but there wasn’t any maintenance to it over the years. Now the bags are old, terribly lumpy and are speckled with suspicious stains, the fabric is thinning and aged. Most people purposefully avoid the old rec area, which is why Peter likes this spot best. It’s his secret hiding space.

He prepares to disassociate for the next forty minutes by getting comfortable on his favorite bean bag and popping his earphones in. 

Next, he retrieves his slightly soggy ham-tomato sandwich from his bag and takes a large bite after unwrapping it. The first burst of tomato hits his tongue at the same time as the music begins. 

Ah, to be alone.

Closing his eyes, he allows his body to sink into the bag and for his thoughts to wander freely.

Of course, because his luck is as poor as he is, his seclusion lasts all of three songs before someone else enters into his space. Well it’s not his space, technically, but it should be. 

When Peter creaks an eye open to see who is intruding he’s surprised to see Thor perched on the bean-chair opposite him. They catch each others stare and smile.

Well, alone time is overrated. 

Maybe his luck isn’t down the drain after all - because this is his opportunity to prove he isn’t a total fumbling loser. He doesn’t know which deity he pleased to be alone in a quiet corner of the library with Thor, but someone up there is clearly looking out for him.

He wants to say something, to strike up a conversation that might make Peter seem cool and only casually interested - something that would make him sound both smart and like, available.

But not too available. 

With little success, Peter wracks his brain for the best opening line but frets because he’s ever been cool or collected a day in his life. And great, now he’s just been sitting there smiling for like two whole minutes like an absolute weirdo. Come on, Parker, say something! 

Thor acts well before Peter has the chance to say anything, pointing at him, his mouth moving with words Peter can’t hear. 

Realising a moment too late that his earphones are still playing music from his phone, Peter hurries to tug them out if his ears, smacking himself in the face in the .

“Sorry, I was --” Peter gestures to his ears, hands shaking, cheeks going hot. God, Thor is talking to him. Him! Peter Parker! “Sorry. What did you say?”

“I said I like your shirt!” Thor replies, way more loudly than what would normally be socially acceptable for a library, but Peter does not care. Thor likes his shirt.

“This?” He asks, gesturing downwards to his shirt where crumbs are dusted at the collar. “You like Nirvana?”

“I do not know Nirvana,” Thor smiles, “but it looks very cool. Peter, right?”

“Uh yeah,” he nods, face positively flaming because again, he knows Peter’s name. Quickly sweeping the crumbs from his shirt, he extends his hand out to the older boy who shakes his hand. Holy shit. Be cool. “I’m Parker -- I mean, Peter. Yes. Nice to be here. I mean, nice to be speaking. To you.”

Even as Peter’s arm is roughly jostled with Thor’s exuberant hand-shaking embarrassment crawls up his neck, and he wants to disintegrate into the bean bag where no one has to witness his persistent, glaring awkwardness. Palms sweating, Peter has to bite his lip to stop himself from commenting on how big Thor’s hands are.

Stop it, he scolds himself, be normal, play it cool.

“Thor, right?” Peter asks, as if he didn’t doodle their initials together in his notebooks. “You were at training last week.”

“Yes, you fell on your face,” Thor nods, gesturing to the yellowed bruising on his jaw, “I saw.”

“Oh, okay, so you saw that! Uhh -- ” Peter waves a hand at his face, laughing nervously. “This? It’s nothing. I’m totally fine.”

“You are clumsy,” Thor states, not unkindly.

“Well, no -- I mean, yes --” Peter tries to come up with an explanation, but falls short. “I’m not always a klutz, promise. Just sometimes.”

“Happens to the best of us. Well, not myself, but you know, generally speaking. In any case, I’m happy to see you’re okay.” 

Thor unzips his backpack then and from within it retrieves a truly gargantuan protein shake, followed by a sub wrapped in foil so large it could be the same size as Peter’s forearm. Sneaking a look down at the remainder of his own lunch, his pickings look pretty slim in comparison. 

“Sorry,” Thor says. “Just peckish for a snack.”

Peter watches, dazed, as the older boy consumes half his sub in a single bite, washing it down with several mouthfuls of his shake.

A snack.

“You’re fine. Anyway, football isn’t really my forte,” he admits after a moment, drawing his knees up. “I mean, I’m okay at it and I like it, but it’s not really what I’m best at, y’know?”

The blond boy nods, “I’m on the varsity team,” he proclaims, wiping his mouth. “Whatever that means.”

His accent is so thick it takes Peter half a moment to figure out what it was that he said. 

He’s not sure if Thor is being serious or not but the one question Peter has is why is he so fucking cute? 

A silence follows, albeit not an awkward one. It gives Peter the opportunity to inspect the older boy, nearly a man at his height and stature, of course helped along by the generous distribution of facial hair across his lower face. 

“Uh, did you play football back at home?” Peter asks, keen to keep conversation going. “Soccer?”

“Oh yes,” the boy nods. “Soccer, tennis, volleyball. Water polo. Badminton.”

“Wow,” Peter blinks, “that’s a lot of sport. You’re like the whole Olympics here.”

He’s awarded with a lazy grin for that comment. Thor, to his credit, doesn’t appear to be boastful about his physicality, seemingly a result of his passions instead of a product of vanity.

“Close enough, I suppose. What else do you play, besides football?”

“Uhh --”

Oh god. How is he supposed to respond to that when the idea of doing additional sports outside of football is abhorrent? He can’t tell Thor that. Surely he can fake a common interest. Think of something, Parker, think, think.

The first bell rings, saving him from having to provide a potentially humiliating answer, seeing as all how all that could think of was chess, or PC. Both of which are true and accurate, but not exactly something he thinks that would make him appear more attractive or endearing.

Thank god for fifth period.

“To be continued?” Peter asks as he picks up his backpack, just a little hopeful.

There’s an awkward bit of shuffling as they rush to get off the sagging bean chairs, moment filled with odd squeaks of polystyrene as they attempt to stand.

Thor nods and to Peter’s surprise, doesn’t immediately rush to get away from him. There’s an awkward bit of shuffling as they rush to get off the sagging bean chairs with, odd squeaks of polystyrene as they stand. Instead, he accompanies Peter all the way out of the library, walking alongside him into the main hallway where a flurry of students are intersecting to get to their next class, walking alongside him.

Heads turn to watch them as they depart the library and enter the halls. For a moment, as kids part like the red sea to make way for them - for Thor - Peter wonders if this is what it’s like to be famous. Or to be on the arm of someone famous. It certainly feels like it, because even though the revere isn’t for Peter specifically, it seems like the weight of everyone’s awe is on them.

He doesn’t like the attention. But he likes Thor.

To his delight, the older boy follows him to his locker. Embarrassingly, it sticks when Peter tries to open it, as it usually does. He struggles with it for long, humiliating moments before Thor opens it with one hand.

“Thanks,” he says, blush creeping back up his neck. “You’re like, crazy strong, dude.”

Thor flexes and inspects his own bicep, as if seeing it for the first time.

“Perhaps,” he concedes, smiling roguishly. “Back at home I used to lift my brother for weight training.”

“You what?”

“A story for another time,” Thor shakes his head, shuffling closer to be heard over the traffic of students. “Anyway, I should be going. But there was something I have been meaning to ask you, if I may take a moment --”

Peter freezes. Oh my god, this is it, he thinks. 

It’s happening.

“-- seeing as you and I have similar interests and we seem compatible, it would please me greatly if you would agree to --”

Heart racing, Peter turns, a fervent yes already on his lips.

It dies when there is a loud call of his name in the hall.

“-- Hey, Parker!”

Whatever Thor was going to say wilts at the interruption, seemingly forgotten as he waves at the intruder. Peter turns to see who called out for him and instantly wishes he didn’t.

Heart dropping to his stomach, he squeezes his eyes shut and sighs. 

This is his luck.

Never has he wanted to melt into the floor and die like he does right now as Stark approaches the pair in quick strides.

Hands shoved into his jean pockets, Stark’s wide eyes dart between them inquisitively, a shadow of a smirk crossing his face, disappearing just as quick.

“Well, pardon me. I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Tony places a hand on his heart and leans on the locker next to Peters. “Thor, barely a pleasure as always.”

“Stark,” Thor nods.

Tony simpers, smile saccharine sweet and gestures to an uneasy Peter.

“I am just so sorry to intrude, but would you mind if I spoke to my husband here? He’s such a slippery one, aren’t you, sweetums?”

Thor looks between them, head going to and fro like a pendulum.

“He’s not my husband,” Peter rushes to assure, acutely pincered between Thor’s confusion and Tony’s mischief. “I mean he is, but it’s for an assignment. We’re not really -- it’s not real. I don’t like him.”

Tony exhales heavily, looking at Thor with dismay. “That’s not what he said in our wedding vows.”

Peter wants to punch him in the throat.

“I understand,” Thor smiles, patting each of them on the shoulder. He dips his chin and catches Peter’s eye. “To be continued?”

“Y-Yeah,” Peter nods enthusiastically, probably too enthusiastically, he thinks, as his aim is to pretend to be cool and disinterested, but he doesn’t even care because maybe not all is lost after all. “To be continued. See you.”

All of the pomp bleeds away from Tony as Thor walks away, his posture turning into a slump against the locker.

The smile drops from Peter’s face. He sends Tony a heated glare as he retrieves from his books, shoving them into his bag.

“What do you want?” he grumbles, slamming his locker shut. “You have the worst timing, you know that?”

“It’s part of my charm,” the other boy shrugs. “What can I say, I’m delightful.”

“You’re deplorable.”

Tony gasps in mock offence. “Deplorable? Good lord, Parker, is that any way to speak to your husband?”

“If the shoe fits,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest. “Look, I have to go to class. Say what you want or move out of the way.”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Oh, don’t be like that. C’mon, what were you and He-Man grunting about, hmm? Grr, me big, you tiny?”

“Unless you have a point,” Peter asks, pointing to the main hall, “I’m leaving.”

Tony puts his hands up in surrender, however the glib expression doesn’t quite leave his face. But at that moment Peter doesn’t have it within him to care, he’s not here to entertain him and sooner they get this over with, the better.

“Alright, alright, buzzkill. Come outside, I have to talk to you about the assignment.”

Peter looks at him, perturbed. 

“I need a smoke,” he explains, tutting at Peter dispiritedly. “Also, don’t lie, I know it’s your free period.”

He doesn’t wait for Peter to respond, heading straight for the double doors that lead to the courtyard at a sedate enough pace for Peter to follow. Nonetheless he jogs a few paces to catch up after debating whether or not it was a good idea to follow or if he should hide in the boys bathroom.

Again.

It’s fairly chilly out, the wind whipping through his clothes. He wishes he had a scarf or gloves or something, opting to shove his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and hooking the hood over his head.

“How do you know it’s my free period?” he queries loud enough to be heard over the wind. 

“Because,” Tony turns to walk backwards, the breeze whistling around them, “it’s also my free period and you always stink up the library so I can’t go there,” he rounds the corner to lead Peter to the shaded area behind the auditorium where a few students are lingering, most of them smoking. 

“And you take the best seat. Personally, I think it’s selfish. I can’t possibly sit there after your ass has warmed it.”

Willing himself to not rise to Tony’s level of pettiness, he crosses his arms over his chest as they come to a stop. The wind is at full force now that the surrounding buildings aren’t taking the brunt of it and it is cold as all hell, although Tony’s in a black t-shirt and doesn’t look affected at all, probably because he’s cold-blooded or warmed by hellfire.

Tony cups his hands over his lighter to protect the flame from the breeze, struggling briefly to light his cigarette. Once the end is properly alight, Tony takes a drag while staring at him. 

His hand comes to rest at his thigh, smoke rising idly from the cigarette. After a moment, he exhales the smoke in Peters direction.

“Wow. You’re disgusting,” he waves his hand in front of his face to dispel the smell. “Don’t you know second-hand smoke can kill?”

"Yes. Do you want a drag to speed up the process?”

“Don’t be a dick,” he says as Tony seems to find himself funny, offering up the cigarette in jest. Peter has half a mind to snatch it out of his hands and stomp on it. “I know that’s hard for you.”

“I’m joking, okay. I thought the wind would redirect the smoke. My bad.”

Peter rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure. Anyway, the assignment? Still waiting for whatever was so urgent."

Tony takes another drag, flicking ash to the ground before answering.

“I booked an appointment with a realtor for tomorrow after school.”

That has Peter’s curiosity piqued. “Really? Where?”

“LIC. One of the agents has agreed to be a reference so our domestic nightmare can be officially documented. Yay, go team.”

“Yay,” Peter deadpans. “What time?”

“Appointment’s at four-thirty,” Tony retrieves his phone from his pocket and hands it to Peter. “Give me your number and I’ll send you the details.”

Peter accepts it with a grimace. It’s warm from Tony’s body heat. Ugh.

“And now you can say: ‘thank you for being proactive, Tony, you’re so much better than me, Tony’.”

“Thank you for being proactive, Anthony, even if you’re a self-aggrandizing jerk,” Peter mutters, voice getting progressively more sarcastic. 

A wide smile blooms on Tony’s face, clearly pleased with himself. 

“You’re welcome, Parker.”

He is going to let that one go, Peter decides, feeling magnanimous on spite of the circumstances. He’d never admit it, but he’s kinda surprised by Tony’s apparent initiative, and even genuinely a little grateful that the other boy has arranged this so quickly. Or even that he thought to arrange it at all - field research was one of the highest scoring components on the rubric for this assignment.

Eyes flicking up for a moment, he assesses the other boy. Maybe he’s not as much of a slacker as Peter thought he was.

Tony, slumped against the brick wall, rubs his stomach and burps quietly. 

Or maybe he is.

Nevertheless, Peter types in his details and saves his contact in Tony’s phone as Your Better Half. 

Peter isn’t too much to look at, he knows, but he’s not the weak link here.

Tony accepts the phone back and wipes the touch screen on his shirt before pocketing it. 

“Alright then, meet me after school tomorrow in the parking lot. Don’t be late,” he flicks his cigarette to the ground and steps on it to put it out. Tony bends at the waist then to pick up the stub, clutching it in his fist for later disposal instead of leaving it as litter.

That surprises Peter a little, it’s more thoughtful, conscious a gesture than he would have expected to come from Stark. Not that he’s ever personally seen such behaviour from him, but it wouldn’t be a stretch with his devil-may-care attitude. Would it?

He’s about to make mention of heading back inside when Stark takes two purposeful steps towards Peter, bridging the gap between them. 

Peter freezes on the spot, breath caught in his chest as Tony brings them nose-to-nose.

He flicks his eyes down at Tony’s lips when his solemn expression morphs into an impish smile.

“Dude, what -- ?”

While Peter is distracted, Tony’s hands dart out to grip the strings of Peter’s hoodie, tugging them until the hood shrinks around his face.

“Do me a solid and try to wear something that doesn’t make you look like you’re a step away from lining up at a soup kitchen, okay? Y’know, something nice.”

Peter smacks his hands away furiously, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as Tony backs away, snickering.

“You really get off on being a prized piece of shit, don’t you?” he mutters, somewhat self conscious as he tries to correct the hood. “Poor jokes, that’s real nice. Sorry not all of us were born wearing Balenciaga.”

He continues to struggle with it as they move away and head back towards the main building, pushing it off his head altogether. 

“Calm down, Charlie Brown, it’s not that deep,” Tony says drily, although his flippant demeanour softens significantly. “I have no doubt that you’d still manage to look like a hobo even if you were loaded, okay. You just have that grubby vibe.” Tony claps his hands together. “So, tomorrow. Meet me in the parking lot. Yes?”

Inside, away from the wind, Peter is still helpless to quell the hurricane that is Tony Stark. He gives him a tired thumbs up.

With that Tony sets off in the opposite direction, leaving Peter to wonder what the hell just happened, and what his life has become these last few days. 

“What a jackass,” he says to himself.

Now alone, he rubs his hands up and down his face, fruitlessly attempting to scrub away the memory of Tony close to him, eyes warm with mirth, the heat of his body up close and the smell of nicotine on his breath as he quite literally tugged Peter’s strings. It takes longer than he likes to will the image away and to calm the furious beat of his heart.

Furious; a feeling Peter is becoming progressively more familiar - and uncomfortable with.

Ben used to say that being angry at someone was allowing them to take up space in your head, rent free. He was right, because it never served Peter well to house animosity when acceptance was kinder to his soul and psyche, and to others -- but he can’t help it with this guy. Tony Stark is like an ear worm of the brain. He has this completely obnoxious way of making himself front and centre despite Peter’s best efforts to cast him to the sidelines.

While he’s willing himself to move on his phone vibrates inside his pocket with a new message.

> ur not my better half, loser > why r u like this > nvm i already know lol. > remember, don’t be late 2morrow

Peter, just a little satisfied with himself for getting under Tony’s skin, saves his contact as Tiny Stank and types back quickly, eager to get back to his seat in the library - assuming Stark hasn’t already occupied it - and make the best of his remaining free period.

<  whatever helps u sleep at night < also, plz lose my number after this is over

> way ahead of u, princess > say hi to aunt may for me

Ugh, Peter cringes, pocketing his phone without replying.

That guy is the worst.

---

*

*

---

tagging: @bylerboyfriends, @ravens-starker-stuff, @starker-rays, @ironspiderstarker, @muse-of-gods, @notfor-temporaryuse, @tabbycat1220, @sugarfreecult, @rebel13lion39, @plueschpop, @spideravocados, @jellybbunny,  @booktrashme, @elfkido, @mycatislickingmybedsheets, @queerghostboyo, @disneyprincessdominatrix

[nooneandeveryone]

Who wants kinky OC lore?

My boy Kadin, his full name is Kadin Brimmer. He's roughly 157 year-old demonic accident. Three demons melded together made him and as a by-product he's stuck with a soul. And no idea who or what he really is for the majority of his life.

So.... who were the demons, a fire demon, an earth demon and an incubus/succubus. He retains the powers of all three. Earth and fire are fairly obvious. But I've yet to talk about the incubus/succubus part here....

Let's begin (gonna talk a little about gender and gender identity too, while that's not kinky in itself it comes into play. via the whole sex demon thing)

incubus/succubus - I use some old lore for my basis here. That lore being that an incubus and a succubus are the same creature in two different forms. So what that means for Kadin is he can change his physical gender. He usually doesn't, partly because he didn't learn how to control it properly and partly because it's a self actualization power. This more or less makes him literally genderfluid and I'm jealous as fuck. But at the same time, he strongly identifies as male, even if he's changed completely down to having a working vagina. He still thinks of himself as he. His boobs, his vagina. He just tends to default to having a dick....

Kadin deeply hates himself. People he cared about have died directly because of him. Regardless of whether it was an accident, he blames himself. He's outlived people he cares about just by the nature of what he is. His self-hatred led him into various kinks. Most of which involve pain. This is his form of catharsis. So having a dick and balls enables him to see as well as feel the pain he's after.

AAAND my next point is purely because I'm a terrible person. Consuming seminal or vaginal fluid is addicting to him. It gets him a little high. He is orally fixated to high hell. He ain't down to fuck he's down to go down. Most of his sexual encounters default to oral in some way. So chances are, he enjoyed performing oral more than the person receiving it.

It must be consensual. He might even seem a little obsessed with making sure his activities are consensual. To the point a partner might get annoyed because he keeps double checking. Just shut up and fuck, Kadin.

Service Switch. While he gets a lot out of sexual and kinky activities, he's more interested in fulfilling his partner's desires. If they want something and he's able to do it, he'll do it. Provided they tell him.

Left to his own devices, Kadin will do casual hook-ups as a way to sate the physical addiction. He will run the fuck away from any meaningful relationship.

Back to his kinks. The list is so fucking long, my dudes. It's quicker to say what he's not into. But hey, I'll give his top ones: aftercare, D/s, oral, anal, toys, oversized toys, eletrosex, impact play, bloodplay, c&bt, temperature play, bondage, leather, denial/controlled orgasms, semi-public, tit torture/play, piercings, enemas, humiliation.... just everything on the menu.

While I originally created Kadin (when I was 18) solely as a character for sex and kink... he's morphed into something more complex. He became a comfort character. Through writing him and RPing him I've worked out some major issues, figured out my own gender identity, began to heal from trauma.

So, don't let anybody look down on you for this shit. Yes, he's a shitty trash character made for sex but he's changed my life for the better. So fuck modern puritans.

[sugar-petals]

BTS Tarot Reading ➝ What Kind Of Porn Do They Watch? (18+)

↳ NOTE - due to several requests, a steamy and detailed one. ☕️ we’re asking the cards about the erotica they fancy in a wider sense. 

warning ⚠️ 18+ // bdsm mentions, worship, kinks left and right. we’re going graphic in all types o’ ways, lads.

♡ DISCLAIMER // tarot is speculative, there is no guarantee for accuracy. believing in the cards is a choice. all portrayals are fictive and for entertainment purposes only.

SPREAD #1:

yoongi

⌈ THE WORLD ⇁ Jesus... Someone’s obsessed with girls in the nude. That card has a stark naked woman wrapped in very little satin on it so you know what our funky little guy is up to. Luscious aesthetic fotos might be just around his corner. Big duh, he’s a photography major. These folks are all about body appreciation. He’s also on a personal vendetta against lingerie 😂 Yoongi won’t get hard looking at even the most HD panty and bra ads. Only the skin in its full splendor will do, no editing. He loves pictures of nipples peaking through shirt fabric, it’s all over his phone. Yoongi likes his gals without underwear 24/7 just like he dislikes underwear himself. If we’re talking porn, the woman on the card is holding two very long rods so may I connect the dots: Threesomes, handjobs, blowbangs, spitroasting. Friction, friction, and more friction. To Yoongi’s brain, handjobs are a great um new version of holding hands. Sex standing up also, keeping it vertical. Yoongi doesn’t care about girth, inches count. Nice and elongated with a perfect plunge, something to hold onto. Yep, he’s pretty deliberate when searching that up. Yes, he loves the look of it. However, and you’ll be surprised: Even if he likes poly porn, it’s still nothing too extreme. This card is more about pleasure than pain. If a guy likes rough and degrading sex, you get swords and wands in his spread. THE WORLD is more about perfected skills and success. So, he likes the more accomplished porn stars. With a preference for curly blondes and redheads, that’s sort of the hair color on the card. Natural B or C cup. Medium height, not too curvy. Oversized booty not needed. In terms of nationality: We have three representative animals on the card. Eagle, lion and bull, plus a light blonde man’s head. So, anything that America/Germany/Albania/Mexico/Namibia (and so on, lot of countries with eagles as their national bird my dude), England, Spain and Scandinavia have to offer. Honey sugar is going international, baby.

hoseok

⌈ QUEEN OF WANDS ⇁ Did I just mention that guys who like rough sex in porn get wand cards in their readings in Yoongi’s segment? Well, there we have our candidate, with a very obvious card since it’s a court figure. Now, the thing is, this is not the guy being rough. The QUEEN OF WANDS is as notoriously femdom as can be. The very fiery and raw and fun version. So, with a degree of lightheartedness, but still being very fit — even buff — and hands-on with the sub. If you get the QUEEN OF SWORDS, that’s the more cool and calculated domme who signs you up for torture and humiliation, and she really looks like a domme. She’s all over the internet because she has the grit. Now wands combined with a tarot queen... it’s more about the stamina and she is approachable. Hobi does not like watching cruel girls, he likes challenging ones. Upbeat porn stars who can take a lot but most importantly dole it out assertively like pros are Hobi’s schtick. He’s unapologetic about that. With him it’s like, please not the local newcomers that turned legal a month ago. The queen cards are all about mature women. Mommy kink, hint hint. The kind of mommy who’s gonna whip out the spreader bar or cane (= wands again) and give a playful type of punishment. See how desert-like that imagery is, Hobi wants to sweat big time when he gets off to this. Now since wands also make for a damn good pole to dance on, go figure. This whole card has me wondering if, well alright, he is a Cardi B hard stan 😅 If Hobi blasts Money to get in the mood, I’d not be surprised. Anyway. Back to pole stuff: If you go through his youtube search history, you will find astounding things. I think he watches the more professional and athletic performers in competition though. High production value is key. Finally, an interesting card detail: There’s a sunflower on it. This is definitely his kind of tarot imagery.

jimin

⌈ KING OF COINS  ⇁ This card always looks like a scene from a medieval movie so you might have an erotic film enthusiast here. The more chaste type of genre, pentacles are very grounded and not hypersexualized. The intimacy is slow and more about security and pleasure. It’s graphic and detailed, but gives you a sense of relaxation. With a bit of romance in the plot, that might absolutely be Jimin’s thing. Castles and wine and nobility. Interesting type of erotica. Historical and classy. As expected of a prince, mind you. He might enjoy books of that genre also. And we know Jimin is an avid reader, right up there with Namjoon. Now, even with more risque and contemporary stuff that he googles up, we have similar dynamics going down on screen. With Hobi we had femdom because it’s a queen card, now with Jimin we get the classic male dom type of porn because that’s how the King usually rolls, unless it’s the KING OF CUPS who’s touchy-feely and subby. Meanwhile, the KING OF COINS is your local sugar daddy. Leaning towards being a soft dom, he’s not aggressive. And Jimin surely has a little crush on that concept. Ye know, if all the other members have female cards and Jimin gets the sugar daddy, we might be dealing with mxm action. Because if this card was a porn star, he’d be a really, really rich producer and a bear who’s done this since the frickin’ 90s. He’s treating his subs very gently and lets them sit on their lap, the imagery is sort of like that because the King is balancing a pentacle on his left thigh. Sex and comfort all in one are life for Jimin. A sexy detail I only noticed at a second glance, the King also has a shortened golden staff with him, which has a rounded tip. If that’s not a butt plug… whenever I see props like that in tarot, I interpret it as a sex toy. So, good vibes in here. And a bunch of aphrodisiacs, the KING OF COINS is a foodie. Which you know, might just be a food porn type of reference. Jimin’s taste in sexy things is quite something else.

jungkook

⌈ THE EMPRESS ⇁ If there’s one thing I like, it’s the Tarot giving me the important archetypes during readings of that kind. The Queens, the Kings, the Major arcana (see Yoongi’s and Jin’s segment). You can really draw a lot of hints out of it. Now with the EMPRESS you have a similar case to Hobi’s, just a lot more softcore. Jungkook has a refined and pretty vast taste in erotica, if not the most refined in Bangtan next to Jimin who likes that kind of dignified touch to it as well as we saw. Jungkook knows his stuff when it comes to searching things up, he is a first class netizen in that regard. In terms of genre: The EMPRESS is your highkey feminist and wholesomeness legend, so — you won’t find any super creepy things in some hidden file on his PC, and things by female producers instead. No slut-shaming or name-calling here, everyone gets their pleasure in their own right. Thanks to online sex ed, Jungkook has a map to the clit and he’s not afraid to use it. He’s the type to watch solo videos ad nauseam. He’s fascinated. Masturbation until it gets all messy with the juices flowing, and you bet he wants to see the girls buzzing themselves off lying on their back. Maybe even outdoors in a field. Cum play is a must, cunnilingus is a must, he loves unprotected sex and creampies, he loves breast massages. And yes. Anything that involves sex with pregnant and chubby women. Similar to Taehyung, it’s all about the focus on the girl, he doesn’t bother much with the guy performers. And given Yoongi’s reading on top of that, we have three members in BTS who are all about worshipping the female body right here, breasts over ass, and he likes blondes, too. The EMPRESS card is like… the entire porn industry who does the MILF and BBW genre is financed by Jeon Jungkook’s website subscriptions. Cue GOT7, with Jungkook it’s girls, girls, girls. The thirst is going strong, and he’s unashamed times ten, sex is sex. 

➝ we also have members who don’t really bother with erotica or have a complicated relationship with it.

SPREAD #2

taehyung

⌈  ACE OF WANDS reversed ⇁ He’s not about beating off until the world ends. Taehyung gets bored by porn or heated literature and doesn’t feel very motivated to search it up. He would rather come up with his own ideas to write but doesn’t have the energy. Sex drive: On hold, even if he tries to look something up it doesn’t feel very fulfilling to him. Most of it fails to turn him on, it’s not his kind of taste. He gets frustrated when he masturbates and would rather rest, dream, and doze. The only thing I can see him watch somewhat frequently — hold your horses — is lesbian porn. I’ll explain. The ACE OF WANDS is pretty much your most glaring handjob symbolism card. A hand gripping a stick. Yoongi’s THE WORLD card has very similar imagery, I mean even two wands and a girl, bisexual explosion much. He would be a big fan of the upright ACE OF WANDS card lmao! But the reversal is like, um no silly guys jerking off in here, pls. Keep your cum to yourself. That means: Zero dicks in Taehyung’s zone, girl-on-girl stuff is his very last resort for quality that he is desperate for but cannot find. And not the stuff where the producers just replace the guys with heavy arsenal sex toys, double-ended dildos, fucking machines, endless strap-on action without any clit stimulation on either side and whatnot. Taehyung is like ugh, cherie, why, give me the juicy stuff, give me the basics. What he wants is just pure scissoring, fingering, oral, little gentle bites, a lot of caresses and kisses. And slow, slow sex. Probably the amateur kind. He hates how brutal and exaggerated most things online are. Tae is looking for softness, a lot of lesbian action is what delivers in that regard so he takes all he gets. And it goes further than that, Taehyung knows the finest yuri recommendations, I’m telling you.

seokjin

⌈  THE STAR reverse ⇁ The opposite of Yoongi: not keeping it very naked in here. The upright card shows a nude woman pouring water from two cups. Hence a strong connection to the card of sexuality, TWO OF CUPS. Everything is very gentle and positive in that scenery. But then, the reversed card rather shows us that Jin doesn’t feel too thrilled watching other people film or write or photograph sex. Like in Tae’s case, he becomes bored, it’s all the same to him. Nothing’s ever new to him in porn. He feels negative and guilty rather than refreshed or entertained. He also doesn’t like a lot of kinks that very literally connect to, well, the pouring water. Squirting, cum play, watersports, sex in the pool or showers, lube overuse, creampies, bukkake, fake cum — Jin is rolling his eyes at that, he thinks it’s a circus. He’s surely given it a try, but ended up feeling worse and even more pent-up or dissatisfied. At best, you will find him on unknown websites looking for the most amateur videos there are. Because: THE STAR quite unequivocally hints at porn stars. If you reverse the card, it becomes someone not very well-known. He roots for the underdog. Accordingly, Jin’s reaction to mainstream videos goes this way: ‚Pipe down, you non-artists!’ 😆 Cause maybe, he does do it better aye, without the awkward angles anyway. He doesn’t want the body cult, like, put that airbrush and silicone out of my face bro. Not because he’s against surgery, but the idea behind sexual extremes and the shady high standards. It’s too polished for him to get turned on. And robotic/staged. Likely because he’s had an IRL sexual experience (gasp!) that set a different ideal to him, so the more glossy porn feels off. Home video has all he needs instead. I think it’s especially because you get so see more body hair there. The woman on the THE STAR card is all sleek, so the reversed card is the opposite, Jin wants that unshaved goodness.

namjoon

⌈ EIGHT OF CUPS ⇁ Now you’d think — and I thought, kinda — we’d get the master of erotica right here. And he’s had one hell of a reputation for that. Think of the ever-infamous Yaman TV interview where BTS were super upfront and revealing about their taste and what they watch privately. With especially Namjoon having the lion’s share. But this card says otherwise if his current state is concerned. The EIGHT OF CUPS shows a man wandering off into the night, leaving eight cups behind him. I think what that means is, he’s moved on. Namjoon’s cravings aren’t as strong as they used to be, nor does he have the time. He knows it won’t fix his loneliness or answer the questions of life. He might be on the search for different things to fulfill him, or ignore much of his hormones in favor for his career. Not that he didn’t dabble in it, he sure did, but that chapter is slowly closing and what’s next he doesn’t really know yet. He thinks about family and being a father, so the smaller and more risque pleasures become less significant. Desire, too. Ye olde soul syndrome is kicking in. The card is also centered around introspection, a quest for self, all these higher topics that aren’t the most grounded and don’t leave much space for being horny. Joon is simply to preoccupied and on the move. He sees porn as a distraction from his real self at this point, and he’s not the type to feel satiated after masturbating to something, similar to Jin and Taehyung. Instead, I think he carries that energy elsewhere, hence the wanderer going from A to B onto a mountain. In short, Namjoon naturally grew out of it by becoming more, well: Namjoon. He’s left a lot behind, he’s choosing self-development over temporary fun, and he will ponder a lot on the topic, the hows and whys and whats more often than not. So, he’s passed the baton to Yoongi and Jungkook if you will, and keeps a low profile as of now. 

tarot mlist | ko-fi

----

for anon:

[hailing-stars]

@febuwhump day 14 

meddling kids

summary

“Ned, you’re a genius,” says Peter. “We’ll just play some cupid, get them together for real, and they’ll be so distracted we can go back to movie days at the Tower.”

“Because that plan doesn’t have the potential to turn into a big, fucking disaster,” says MJ.

“It’ll be fine,” says Peter. “It’ll be good. It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Even they deserve to be happy.”

OR

Peter attempts to meddle in Sam and Bucky’s relationship, and Flash meddles in Peter’s and MJ’s. 

Rain hits the windows of Avengers Tower, and Peter pulls MJ a little bit closer. His eyes are glued to the TV screen, where it’s also raining, and where the two leads in the cheesy, rom-com Ned had switched on argue in the midst of the downpour. It isn’t long before the argument turns to kissing.

“That’s so romantic,” says Peter. That’s really what he’d rather be doing. Kissing MJ in the rain.

“Dude,” says Flash, shoving a fist full of popcorn in his mouth, from where he sat on the floor. “You’re such a sap.”

Peter scrunches up his face. “I’m not a sap.”

“Kind of are,” says Ned.

Peter turns to MJ for help, and their faces are so close, their noses almost brush up against each other. Forget the rain. He’d rather be kissing her now, in the common room, on the Avengers favorite couch.

“You’re totally a sap,” she tells him. “But you’re my sap.”  

“You two are disgusting,” says Flash. “Just get a room and let Ned and I finish watching this in peace.”

Peter doesn’t think that sounds like such a bad idea, and he’s about to say so when he’s startled into sitting up straight.

“Parker!”

He turns his head and sees Sam and Bucky entering the common area.

“Oh,” says Peter. He and MJ scoot to opposite ends of the couch, as if it mattered and they hadn’t already been seen. “Um, hey Sam. Bucky.”

“What is this?” asks Sam, gesturing to the common room. “What have we told you about using the Tower as your own personal clubhouse for you and your school friends?”

“That I’m definitely welcomed to do it?”

“Well that’s one interpretation of hell no,” says Bucky.

Peter could strange both of them right there on the spot. They’re the annoying big brothers he never wanted, and he hates how they only ever agree with each other when it disadvantages him in some way.

“Take your Scooby Squad and scram,” says Sam.

“We’re not the Scooby Squad,” says Flash. He doesn’t take his eyes off the screen, and his hand stays in the bowl of popcorn. “We’re the FlashMob, don’t forget it.”

“We’re not the FlashMob,” says Ned. “We’re the FOS gang.”

“FOS?” questions Bucky.

“Friends of Spider-Man,” answers Ned.

“Meddling kids seems more appropriate,” says Sam. “Parker. Get them out.”

“If we’re the Scooby Squad you’re the grumpy old men,” says Peter, with a sigh. He stands, snatches the bowl of popcorn from Flash, and orders Friday to switch off the movie.

Peter, MJ, Ned and Flash file out the room, listening to Sam and Bucky as their bickering turns towards each other. Apparently Bucky’s chosen spot on the couch was where Sam sits, apparently the throw pillow Sam claims actually belongs to Bucky, and so on.

“I swear,” says Peter. “They bicker more than Mr. Stark and Gerald.”

“Gerald?” asks MJ.

“He’s going through a phase.”

“Well it’s obvious why they bicker,” MJ tells them.

All three stare at her.

“..It is?” asks Ned.

“Come on, guys,” says MJ. “It’s classic. They’re in love.”

All eyes turn back to the couch. They’re both sitting at opposite ends and they both take turns telling Friday to switch the channel on the TV. Doesn’t seem like a very productive war. Peter develops whiplash from just standing off in the background, watching the TV screen flip back and forth between Jaws and some old timey black and white film.

“I bet they just kicked us out so they could be alone together,” she continues.

“Enemies to lovers?” asks Ned, still staring at them, with a tilted head.

“I’d ship it,” says Flash.

“Wish they’d get a room, or an apartment,” says Ned. “So we could get back to our movie day.”

“Ned, you’re a genius,” says Peter. “We’ll just play some cupid, get them together for real, and they’ll be so distracted we can go back to movie days at the Tower.”

“Because that plan doesn’t have the potential to turn into a big, fucking disaster,” says MJ.

“It’ll be fine,” says Peter. “It’ll be good. It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Even they deserve to be happy.”

MJ kisses him on the cheek, and links his arm with hers as they march off towards the elevators.

“You really are such a sap,” she tells him, a fondness in her tone that causes Peter to realize he doesn’t actually mind being a romantic so much, not when MJ was the one saying it.

*

Peter leads Bucky down the season aisles at Target, and figures he’s really on his last shot of this cupid business.

He hasn’t exactly been subtle over the last couple of days. Bucky’s already wondering why Peter had insisted on him tagging along on his trip to Target with him.

They pass by heart shaped boxes of candy, and Peter digs through the bin of cute stuffed animals until he finds a unicorn. When he squeezes it, it’s teeth turn pointy and it’s eyes turn mean. It’s perfect.

“For MJ?” asks Bucky.

“No way, man,” says Peter. He turns his attention to the chocolate boxes with cartoon characters printed on the front, and grabs the one with “I got her presents months ago. This stuff is for Morgan.”

“How’s Stark handling Valentine's Day as a father, anyway?”

“He loves it,” says Peter. “He’s a little bit obsessed, actually. He wants Morgan to pass out the best Valentine's cards in her class, so he stayed up all night designing them online and he’s having candy delivered for some fancy chocolate shop in Germany.”

“I don’t think kids really care about fancy chocolate,” says Bucky, and Peter watches as he eyes the boxes of chocolate. His eyes go back and forth between two different brands.

“They don't,” says Peter. “But they do if you bribe the chocolate makers into molding the chocolate into the replicas of famous Avengers.”

Bucky doesn’t respond. All his focus is on the candies.

“What kind of chocolate do you think Sam likes?” asks Peter.

Bucky snaps his head around and narrows his eyes at him. “Why would you ask that?”

Peter shrugs. “I dunno. Maybe we should get him some. It’d be nice.”

Bucky stares at him, and Peter shuffles his feet around, dying to come out with his suggestion that he and Sam should just go out already. That they’ll be a lot happier together, way less grumpy.

“How do you know?” asks Bucky.

“How what?”

“Don’t play dumb.”

“I don’t have to play dumb,” says Peter. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Come on,” says Bucky. “What’s the deal with you crawling around on the ceiling hanging mistletoe above wherever Sam and I are standing? Or that night you made us dinner and set the table with candles and rose petals?”

“I was just being nice. Who doesn’t like roses?”

“I know you know about me and Sam,” says Bucky. “So quit harassing us, and keep your mouth shut about it.”

“Wait…. You and Sam… are already together?” asks Peter, with a gasp of disbelief. “I was trying to set you up!”

“You didn’t know?” asks Bucky. “We thought you knew and were being an asshole about it.”

“Holy shit,” says Peter. He shifts Morgan’s presents to one hand, and pulls his phone out of his pocket with the other. “I gotta tell MJ.”

Bucky swipes his phone. “You can’t tell anybody. We’re keeping it a secret for now.”

“Fine, fine,” says Peter. “Secret safe with me.”

“No secret is safe with you, Parker,” Bucky tells him, before marching past him, and to the next aisle where he continues looking for Sam’s present.

Peter frowns. He’s got no clue why people think he’s incapable of keeping things secret.

*

Peter manages to keep Sam and Bucky’s relationship to himself, until the day of the Midtown High Valentine’s day dance. And it’s not exactly Peter’s fault. He isn’t exactly to see the two of them in his school’s gym, with linked arms, wearing identical grins.

“You two cannot be here,” whispers Peter. His eyes darted around the gym, at all his classmates, somehow forgetting no connection could realistically be made between Peter Parker and two Avengers.

“Sure we can,” says Bucky. “We’re chaperones.”

“And I’m Captain America. I can go anywhere.”

“I hate you both,” says Peter.

Sam claps him on the shoulder. “Consider this revenge.”

“For what?!?”

“For being annoying,” says Bucky.

“And young,” adds Sam. “And for torturing us with mistletoes.”

“Oh, look,” says MJ, emerging from the crowd of students on the dance floor. “I was right. Who’s surprised?”

“Yeah, congratulations,” says Sam. “Now take your irritatingly observant selves over to the refreshment table, get yourselves some Scooby snacks and leave us to our chaperoning.”

Peter doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s ready to put so much distance between himself and the old, grumpy chaperones. He and MJ are crossing the dance floor when they’re favorite song starts to play, but it’s something else that grabs Peter’s attention.

It’s Flash, standing on the bleachers, holding a lighter up to the smoke alarm.

“THIS IS FOR YOU PENIS PARRKKKERRRR,” he yells across the gym, just as the smoke alarm blares to life.

He’s confused, until sprinklers on the ceiling turn on, and water begins to rain down on the entire student body, soaking dresses and suits and splashing into the probably already spiked punch bowl.

“I guess you were right about something too,” says MJ, with a small smile. They’re standing in the middle of the dance floor, while most others run and duck for cover under chairs or in the hallway, while Bucky and Sam chase Flash around the gym. “This is kind of romantic.”

“I can start an argument with you,” says Peter. He hooks his arm around her waist and pulls her closer. “If you want it to be like the movies.”

“Nah,” she tells him. “We can skip that part.”

She brushes his soaked hair out of his face, and they kiss. It’s every bit as romantic as it is in the movies.

[coweggomelet]

volume 6 lads

from what i remember this one is similar to 4 in that it gives us a bit of an emotional break

don’t get me wrong i know there’s some stuff but i think overall it’s a little less intense

- ahhhh they’re all fighting together againnn it feels so right

- hey. hey yang and blake. i’m gonna need you to stop. cause my little heart can’t take it

- this dude really was challenged once and had a full blown murder tantrum. that’s fragility my guy

- ruby is SO CUTE look at her little happy face

- oh yeah. take a train. you guys have a great track record with trains

- i also keep getting like three versions of the same ad about getting vaccinated and it’s got all these workers from tv & movie sets and it’s so awkward this one guy looks so annoyed during his whole part

- it’s not just the turrets y’all oz is withholding shit once again

- don’t fuckin shove my boy!!

- i love that qrow immediately steps back when ruby comes forward. like he 100% respects not only her authority as a team leader but also her ability to solve situations and talk to people. he knows man. he knows his niece is something else

- MARIAAAAA MY GIRLL YES

- uh oh the train crashed. who could’ve seen that coming

- cinder really is just too angry and spite filled to die isn’t she

- hehe maria you’re funny

- it’s so funny that oz is still refusing to tell them everything knowing that everything is revealed in the next episode

- oh oz. i know he was your friend. but all these kids saw was the insane amount of harm and death he caused. trying to defend him to them is not gonna go well

- oscaarrr i love you!! you’re so good!!

- oooo chills

- uuugghh i love jinn she’s so cool

- oz. my dude. the ship has sailed. you can’t stop this anymore

- this, my friends, is what we call a lore episode

- this whole sequence gives me chills it’s so gooood

- eurgh i hate how the god of darkness moves like i get it it’s part of the aesthetic but you really don’t need to do that it’s creepy

- salem was so smart to use a super powerful sibling rivalry to get what she wanted

- she really didn’t deserve to watch the love of her live just get revived and killed over and over again

- jeez the gods are assholes. they’re all oooohh maintain balance and then they torture a woman who just wanted her husband back by making her live forever. for what??? for daring to be smart?? ugh

- c’mon gods you gotta respect the hustle

- you think that making someone immortal will make them realize the importance of life and death?? idiots

- god her face

- she’s so smart what the FUCK

- “the hearts of men are easily swayed” really reminds me of galadriel’s “the hearts of men are easily corrupted” in lotr

- a couple hundred humans attack them and the god of darkness decides “you know what? i’m gonna eliminate all of humanity. that feels like the right choice. yeah. i feel good about this.”

- the fact that salem wasn’t even like… a real villain until she tried to kill herself in order to escape her torture and suffering and the grimm juice made her Big Mad

- like it wasn’t even her, it was the grimm juice. i really do believe that without that she wouldn’t have become salem the Villain

- i’m sorry i don’t know a ‘deathly hallows’ i only know the relics

- ohhh fuck i forgot about this!!! oh rwby’s totally gonna end with the gods judging humanity when the relics are brought together. maybe not end end but it’s definitely gonna be close to the end and it’ll be a Big Thing where they strategize about how to convince the gods that humanity is good

- obviously the first maidens weren’t their kids but boy is there a theme going on here. and maybe even something plot relevant cause their kids could do magic

- all the main characters being able to witness this and us seeing their reactions is such a good touch like god, the impact of this reality is so much heavier because we get to see the characters actually affected by it react to watching it unfold before them

- ohhh my boy. you didn’t deserve this burden before but now that you know fully what it means you really don’t deserve it. i mean look at him!!!

- oh qrow!!! you are doing good! i mean i get it, your whole world’s been shattered and the man you gave your life to lied to you about a lot of important shit but you are doing good i promise!!

- fuck yeah maria use your sassy wise old lady authority

- oh god emerald you poor thing you’re just a babey— oh god i felt salem’s hand on emerald’s shoulder fuck dude this show is so effective

- truly, this is a master class in manipulation

- uh oh salem your ex is back

- UH OH ITS THE FARM RUN YALL

- i like that weiss is wearing what looks like very thin tights, a strapless dress, a lil jacket thing, and the animators said “here she’s got a scarf she’s warm now”

- ruby didn’t kill torchwood y’all, he got chomped. like a lil bitch

- oh god this episode

- yaaaayyy

- before this episode my friend went “you ready for some horror?” and was grinning

- oh yeeeaaah the corpses. lovely

- god as soon as they opened the door to where the cellar entrance is it immediately started affecting weiss

- oh the DOOR nope no thank you get the fuck OUT

- watching this show with my friend was also the origin of me being sad cause this shit is sad and her going “oh i’m having a great time” and this episode in particular she was enjoying herself WAY TOO MUCH if you ask me

- little jump scares kept getting me and she LAUGHED and said “that got you?!?” YES it DID i’m a WUSS

- oh the journals!!! the way they incorporated that was so interesting and added SUCH good creepiness and suspense without giving it all away or ramping it up too fast

- ruby’s so good i love her!!

- uuugghh it’s getting them already how haven’t they noticed???

- the eyes got me good the first time

- their weird fuckin attitudes were the creepiest part of this episode

- ruby said not my friends you bitches

- mariaaaa i love you you’re so smart

- god when they’re reading from the journal at the very end…

- neo’s so tiny!!

- talk about some girlbosses 

- MARIAAAAA YOURE SUCH A BADASS i love her backstory

- love her outfit too

- OOOO THE FUCKIN CROCODILE CLOCK LADY ooooo this is so cooooool

- the ticking!!!!

- oh maria you poor thing. but also you’re so smart like that was such a good move

- aww haha qrow’s a fan. awww he based his weapon off hers!! we love a fanboy

- “i wanted to be as good as the grimm reaper.” “well, im nothing but a disappointment, so you’re well on your way” DAMN MARIA SAVAGE

- oh nice they made to argus! NOW SHOW ME THE BABY

- “CUTE BOY OZ” me too nora

- THE BAAAABBYYYY

- and jaune’s sister and her wife!! I LOVE THEIR GAY LIL FAMILY

- yang is good with kids. marry me

- YOURE GODDAMN RIGHT THATS A BABY AND I LOVE HIM

- HUN!! god i love saph and terra

- “shut up there’s food!” heh me too ruby

- aahhh cordo

- she and maria are totally exes who had a bad breakup and now they hate each other. a tenzin/lin situation if you will

- jaune… my boy… i know you’re angry but oscar is really trying his best

- “i don’t know anything” me neither ruby

- wait cinder didn’t have her grimm arm yet so how did ruby’s ability trigger?

- uh oh my boy’s missing

- remember when you were having fun being the bad guy emerald. remember that. it’s almost like… it was only fun for you cause cinder was there

- it makes me so sad that not only did emerald actually believe that cinder cared about her, but she actually considered cinder family and her emotional health was so connected to cinder being there

- “all you ever learned was pain and violence and now you’re too afraid to leave it” tyrian excuse me i’m the one with the commentary and analysis that’s rude stay in your lane

- oh god oh fuck. the pyrrha statue is comin up isn’t it

- AH FUCK THE LEAF

- oh there she is. my love

- i still wanna know who this lady is. like she’s even the same voice actor as pyrrha. and she’s got red hair. i don’t think pyrrha ever talked about family members, but my money’s on her mom

- this moment fuckin got me dude. i was doing the full tearing up, lil sniffles, choked up thing. uuuuggghh

- god they love each other so much

- i am NOT gonna cry again

- oh qrow. you poor thing

- THE BABYYYY HI ADRIAN DO YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU

- young man!! you scared us half to death! do you know what time it is??

- his lil outfit i i looovveee hiiimm

- oscarrr!! you’re so sweet!!

- THE CASSEROLE

- FUCK YEAH RUBY TELL HIM

- qrow’s like… damn. ruby’s right

- here we goooo infiltration time

- oh FUCK yeah they kill adam soon

- adrian what a smart babyyyy i love youu

- hehehehehe maria is luggage

- honestly this is such a good plan it just goes to shit cause these kids can’t catch a fuckin break

- y’all need. to stop. looking. at each other. like that.

- qrow stop being emo

- mariaaaa i love youuuu you’re such a great old lady

- uh ohhhh problems with blake

- i would love it if they used qrow’s semblance strategically. like in some sort of heist/infiltration situation, sending him behind enemy lines to fuck up their luck

- ruby’s so good at speeches

- depressed? feeling bad about yourself? feeling emo and riddled with guilt? just get a Ruby Speech(TM) and you'll be cured!

- qrow’s face

- oh yeaaaahhh big metal guy

- cordo

- hey cordo

- are you uh

- maybe takin it a lil too far

- why are so many atlas military people so fuckin intense with maintaining order and big shows of power and controlling other people???

- ADAM YOU BITCH YOURE GONNA DIE

- yeah you’re a source of trauma for her but GUESS WHAT SHE HAS A SUPPORT SYSTEM

- at this point dude it’s real pathetic how obsessed with blake you are

- thank god for auras or falling damage would be a much bigger problem

- cordo can you maybe chill

- weiss earthbended!!

- jaune you’re so smart

- ren said things may be complicated but boy oh boy do i care about that strong lightning lady

- “rightfully in charge??” shut up cordo and go be gay with maria

- noooo her fun coat!!

- oooo Dramatic waterfalls

- YES BITCH IM SO PROUD OF YOU YOUVE LEARNED SO MUCH

- adam i’ll kill you

- YEEEAHHHH WHAT AN ENTRANCE YANG MARRY MEEEE

- aaaaggghh the music holy shit

- i love how the fight scenes progress through the volumes it’s so cool

- the parallels between yang and adam are also really interesting. like their semblances, their tendency to lead with strong emotions. interesting

- ooooo he doesn’t like when they look at each other hehehehehe SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW BITCH HAHA

- HOLDING HAANDSSS THEYRE SO GAY

- he’s so basic too. like he looks like a frat boy.

- y’all do your jobs. there’s a big water boy coming but you don’t know cause you’re too busy being goddamn bootlickers

- oscar is so smart and ruby is so brave i love themmm

- uh oh cordo it’s a ruby speech watch out

- ya she is nuts

- THEYRE GONNA WIN CAUSE THEYRE IN LOVE

- ya but you’re a bitch adam and yang is fuckin amazing

- I LOVE THIS FIGHTTTT

- yeet the blake

- FUCK YEAH YANG GET HIM

- i fucking love that they killl him with the pieces of blake’s weapon. like there’s something to that. they kill him with the pieces of a thing he destroyed

- if he wasn’t dead enough he got crunched too

- I LOVE THEM

- hahahahaaaaa cordo they got you

- yeah cordo!!! argus is danger cause you were more worried about fucking “proving the might of atlas” or whatever against some teenagers you fool

- ohhhh shiiiittt cinder’s atlas outfit!! they’re going to a super cold snowy place and cinder said you know what i should wear short shorts and a sleeveless top with super tall boots and a lil cape. that’ll work. and she’s right. it does. have i mentioned i love cinder?

- uh oh big boy swims watch out

- cordo shut up this your own fuckin hubris

- god cordo’s desperation is so heartbreaking

- when are people gonna learn to trust ruby and her friends man

- their willingness to keep fighting and risk their lives and also a Ruby Speech(TM) made cordo believe in them which i love

- i love jinn she likes lil ruby and her friends

- hi summerrrr

- cordoooo i’m so proud of you. she gave up part of this insane symbol of atlas’s power to help ruby and her friends. like she put aside her own ego and i’m so proud of her

- fuck yeah!!!

- awww such a good uncle

- damnnn atlas is gorgeous

- even mercury is terrified by salem’s weird grimm shit

- the fuckin wicked witch with her flying gorillas