#functioning issues right now when it comes to watching/playing anything............

[shadowedresolve]

SHOULD I FUCK AROUND AND MAKE A DEVIL SURVIVOR SIDEBLOG... despite having not actually gone through the game yet whoops-

[jamneuromain]

Divorce with either Steve/Andy I'm feeling angsty.

Whether happy/sad ending is up to you :)

Hi bestie <3 I'm sorry it has taken more time than I thought but my drabble turns into a one-shot before I can even realize skjksjskjskjksj

hope you'll enjoy this <3

Lie, Lie, Lie

Steve Rogers x You (Mutant!Reader)

Warning: Swearing, Angst, Divorce, (also asshole-ish Avengers?)

W/C: 5.4 K

Summary: A small leak will sink a great ship. -- Benjamin Franklin

A/N: My first entry to the bingo challenge hosted by @the-slumberparty.

It starts with a minor, insignificant detail.

Just some static in the phone, really.

A snippet of sound that common people would interpret as bad signals, considering that Steve is phoning you from thousands of miles away, while you are using the landline.

For holy Mary’s sake, who the hell still uses landlines today?

Apparently, the academic conferences you attend do.

Steve notices the small static buzzing the call you are having, after which you grumble in frustration, “Stupid signals, can’t even function properly.”

He smiles, knowing that you can’t see the expression on his face. You are cute even when you are complaining.

You sigh deeply on the other end of the phone, your voice slightly distorted from the electronic, or wireless, transmission, “I miss you, Stevie. Can’t wait to come home.”

“It’ll only be two more days,” Steve reassures you with his soothing timbre, “I’ll be waiting for you at the airport, alright? First thing you’ll see after getting off that plane.”

“Okay.” You know he can hear you pouting, but you pout anyway, “Gotta have some sleep now. I’m going to the keynote tomorrow morning.”

“Take care of yourself.” Steve holding on to his phone, wincing again as the static buzzes again, but it appears only on his end, as you seem unaffected by it, “Take care of my favorite scientist and my favorite girl for me, okay?”

“I am your favorite girl. And you know I have my powers.” You try your best to stifle a large yawn, but Steve senses your tiredness right away.

“Sleep tight, okay? I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Steve blows a kiss, hoping that it would travel across oceans and lands via the phone, and reach your forehead.

“Night, Steve.”

“Good night, sweetheart.”

You are about to hang up when the static tortures his ear again.

You hang up.

Static isn’t a problem for most people, who, unlike Steve, don’t have super hearing and super memory.

Steve could think that the static is a minor interference, however, static that appears during phone calls are hardly inconsistent. And if he has learned a thing or two during the time that landlines are still fairly popular – 40s, by the way – is that static doesn’t go on and off, nor does it blur on different pronunciations since static should naturally have a pattern.

Since Stark phones issued by the friendly billionaire is certainly off the question, he suspects that someone might be tapping into your landline.

Something is off. His intuition is telling him. So, he called Tony and asked for a favor.

After some analysis that Steve couldn’t fully understand, Tony presses his index finger to his lips tightly, humming to himself.

“Anything?” Steve watched as Tony chugged down the fifth cup of coffee ten minutes ago, and now Tony has been unusually quiet.

Tony spins his chair around, looking thoughtful. He waves his fountain pen in midair, pointing at his screen in general, “This isn’t some sort of prank Bruce asked you to play, is it?”

“Prank? Tony, this is my wife we’re talking about.” Steve is about to lose his patience. He crosses his arm, dead serious, “What is … this? Am I being paranoid or …”

He wouldn’t dare to think about you in actual danger and he’s sitting cozily in Avengers Compound. He could’ve been risking your precious rescue time. Or warn you, somehow.

Even knowing that you have your special powers.

Your mutant powers.

Still, there are hundreds of ways for you to be defenseless.

A collar could suppress all your powers. A shot of the new dose of Mutant Serum could make you lose your X-gene once and for all. And all those terrible things that could happen to you.

Tony scratches his goatee, his expression is puzzled, to say the least, “this static that you provided, looks like the interface Bruce and I were cooking up for a Friday-upgrade.”

“English, please, Tony.”

Tony magnifies the example of static extracted from the recording that is automatically stored on Stark servers, and pulls out a random MRI brain scan from Steve’s health exam last year, “See what I mean?”

Steve watches the two waves on the screen closely, almost stuttering from what he is summarizing, “They look … similar.”

“Exactly.” Tony throws the MRI scan off the screen and points to the static, “This? This isn’t sound. This is human thinking. Hell, thinking, I’m not even sure it’s human. And it has a purpose. The reason you are hearing the ‘static’ – I’ll name that thing later, is that it serves as a relay, that patches you through its – thinking, whatever, and directs your call to Y/N.”

“It isn’t Friday?” Steve blurts out the only AI he could think of.

“If it is Friday, the Nobel committee is handing me the award right this moment.” Tony snorts, but he turns serious as soon as he notices Steve’s worrying look, “but with this fragment, I can locate Y/N,” and with a few taps on the keyboard, a global map appears in front of them.

Tony mutters to himself, “Can’t track the relay itself, but I can … ”

Another few keystrokes and a red dot blip.

“… in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.” Tony isn’t even sure about what the blipping dot shows, “Now this can’t be right-” Tony looks back at Steve, whose eyebrows are tying up like knots, “Where did you say she’s having this academic conference?”

“Leipzig, Germany.” Steve answers without a second thought, “Quantum 2023.”

Tony looks awe-struck.

“I’m sending a team to get her.” Steve stands up from his seat abruptly, heading to the doorway, but Tony’s words make him stop.

“Quantum 2023 is next week, Steve. And it isn’t held in Leipzig.”

“But that’s impossible,” Steve turns on his heels, glaring at Tony, “She told me that she came into contact with some Professor, who invited her to this conference because she was doing so well with her panel back in January.”

“And what’s that panel?”

“CPS Quantum Computer-”

“CPSQ was never held this year.” Tony shakes his head, “The conference was cancelled because a main member of the CPSQ committee passed away last December. What else has she told you?”

“I can’t tell you.” You dare not read his face. Your gaze lands on the marble counter that you and Steve agreed on two years ago, instead of him. You lied. And you know you lied. And the fact that you know that you can tell him nothing, makes you even more scared and frightened, as you are well aware the last things Steve would tolerate are betrayal and infidelity.

Your shared home, once a sanctuary for you and the love of your life, now withering and shaken, cold and gloomy. It no longer is a safe haven for you.

“Did anyone blackmail you with anything?” Steve asks calmly.

He’s prepared for the worst things to come.

He spent the whole night with Tony trying to figure out the so-called “academic conferences” you were supposed to be a part of, and there were eight of them during the last three years.

Some calls were too old to trace, but Tony has figured out it with the recent three conferences, you weren’t doing Keynotes or presenting your results to academia, but in the same spot in the Pacific doing God knows what.

It was undocumented waters. Tony could only gather so much info that the islands in the vicinity were bought by a mysterious wealthy man who paid through his Kaymen Island account.

And you were visiting it almost every four months. Like clockwork.

There were a few heat signatures on the island, but with no visible vehicle, neither ferry nor helicopter in sight, Tony would have to guess that you would need someone who can transport you from where you were to the island.

“No.” You have no excuse. No reasons. No idea what you should say.

But you weren’t blackmailed. You went there voluntarily.

His gaze feels heavy on your shoulders. From the corner of your eyes, you can see he’s looking at you intensely. Trying to figure out whether you are still lying to him.

“Are you cheating?”

The other possible explanation he has thought of. Frightening, if an answer of certainty comes out of your mouth, but it would explain your lies. Steve curls his hand into a fist, the veins on his hand popping briefly onto his skin.

The hands that caressed your hair and your jaw, cradling your face when he leaned in to kiss you. All the gentle moves. Treating you as a soft and delicate being. Now a hard fist on the table.

He didn’t touch you on your way back to your home. Nor did he accept your hugs and kisses at the airport.

He was very disappointed.

“No.” You answer, with your head low.

How could he doubt your relationship? How could he doubt your love for him? Waiting for him to return after every battle, taking care of his wounds, having-

How could he think all of those were lies too?

“Then what are you hiding?”

Steve maintains his best manners not to crush the table under his fist into bits and pieces. He wants you to answer. Something. Tell him why he has been kept in the dark.

Anything.

You open your mouth, but no word comes out.

“I can’t tell you.” You whisper, your resolve of keeping the secret faltering under his piercing gaze. But you can’t tell him.

There’s turmoil in your stomach, wreaking havoc in your guts. You want to throw up when thinking about the truth, but cannot say it. Not with your teeth and tongue. Not with pen and paper. You cannot. You physically cannot.

Nothing remorseful or any expression similar appears on your face, as Steve observes your reaction closely.

“Please, Steve. I promise I’ll tell you, but now is not the time. It was – is an important … deed, to do.”

Steve stands up from his chair slowly.

Not even looking at you anymore, he sounds emotionless. Cold.

“I thought for a moment you were kidnapped. Tortured. Lured into a trap.”

“Steve-”

“I was this close,” he pinches his index finger and thumb together, “sending a full-blown rescue tactical team, to get you out.”

“Steve, please, just listen-”

“And are you talking, Y/N? Are you telling me what I need to hear?” He stands with his back to you, shaking with uncontrollable anger. “The truth, that’s all I want.”

“I can’t-”

“I can’t, either.” He interrupts you. For the entire time you can remember, from his cute and sweet attempts to ask you out on a date, from his chivalry of taking you out and asking you to be his wife, from the start of your happy marriage, he hasn’t once interrupted you when you were talking.

Tears roll down your eyes as you are tongue-tied, unable to utter a sound.

But Steve didn’t see those tears. If he did, he would have some idea that you are truly sorry for what you have done.

Steve stands with his back to you.

“I’ll save us the trouble and ask Tony to wipe our marriage from the system.”

Almost a shriek, your hands and feet are placed in the bottom of the ice pit, “You can’t-! I- You can’t!”

Your sobbing fills the room that was occupied by a dreadful silence. From your husband.

You would never imagine that a lie would go this far.

“Watch me.”

He can’t, not when you are-

Not when you are working on-

Not when you are trying to-

He can’t.

Realization dawns on you that even if you did tell him one thing that you can say to make him stay, he would consider it a lie.

Or an effort you make, trying to be bound to him.

That your trust is broken forever.

With that realization hitting you, he leaves the room.

Five years later, somewhere near Hawaii.

“This is really nice, what you got over here,” Tony comments in honesty, taking a step back to observe the rippling portal gate, “How long has it been put into use?”

Jean, the woman with flaming red hair and a scarf around her shoulders, has an impeccable smile on her face, leading the way as Natasha and Steve boarded the small vehicle up ahead, “Four. We used to transport to and from all over the world with the help of mutants who can create a portal. But as larger machines and construction materials were needed on Krakoa, the very land that you are standing on, our top scientists decided to benefit us all by inventing an instant portal device- Devices, should I say.”

As there are three large portals, each the size of a house, standing next to each other on the founding stones.

“Why are we even here?” Steve murmurs to Natasha, sounding confused, “I thought bargaining was Tony’s specialty…?”

“Smile, Rogers.” Natasha murmurs back, her eyes scanning the tropical island for any anomaly, “It’s a diplomatic event, not a business one.”

“Like a photo Op?”

“Like a peace offering.” Nat lowers her voice as she notices a mutant with bright green hair start the engine of their car, and take the position as their driver, “Krakoa now has the most efficient cancer eradication solution, and if we all behave and act like adults, the world would accept the possibility of the first mutant country. The UN is considering whether to add Krakoa as a new member country as we speak.”

“And if we blew it, WW3?”

“Worse. We will be hanged before we could say ‘assemble’.” Natasha sits straighter when Tony and Jean, the woman with red hair approaches the vehicle, and asks with a louder voice, “Would you mind telling us about the three-day trip planned on Krakoa?”

“Certainly.” With a look from Jean, the green-hair starts the car and drives away from the beach, heading towards a road that leads to the Krakoa city center. “We don’t have anything planned for this evening, so Lorna – our temporary driver - and I will show you around this place in general and escort you to your residence, where you will have dinner with our high council tonight. Tomorrow you’ll visit our university facilities and our most advanced laboratory, with our head scientist Hank. If you would like to visit any place else, feel free to tell us and we’ll try our best to satisfy your demands…”

Their residence is a small building near the city square. After a brief tour of the area, Jean tells them that normally they wouldn’t expect many visitors, so the building, though more well-equipped than most hotels, only resides the three of them, plus Jean for now.

Natasha strides across the room as Tony takes voice notes on his phone.

“… Their technology is at least two decades, if not three, more advanced than our top scientist.” With that as a summary, Tony stuffs his phone in his pocket.

And the room is filled with deafening silence.

“Do you think they cleared this place out when they are expecting us?” Steve sits on the edge of the bed, looking up at Tony and Natasha.

“They are afraid of us, as we are afraid of them.” Natasha says slowly. Not really answering Steve’s question, but hinting at the opinion that she has in mind. Her striding comes to a halt, “The looks we had on our way here? Not all friendly.”

“Too bad we don’t have a mutant as a middleman.” Tony clicks his tongue, moving around his jaw like he has a toothache.

“Tony-” Starts Natasha warningly.

They all know one mutant who helped around in the Avengers a few years ago. They know one mutant was exceptionally close to Steve. Hell, they were even there to witness the wedding of-

“I’m gonna go get some air.” Steve pinches the bridge of his nose, taking a long exhale, before walking out of the room.

Of Steve and you.

You were not a powerful mutant. But you would be helpful, under a circumstance like this.

But Steve divorced you a few years back.

No one knows why. No one knows any information regarding the terrible divorce that made Steve leave you, leave the States for months.

Except that you were “missing” from time to time.

Natasha sits on the other armchair in the room, looking closely at Tony, and his greying beard. She chooses her words very carefully, “Was she…” Were you cheating back then? On Steve?

Tony shakes his head, “He never told me.”

“But is it possible that…”

“I wanted to believe the other way.” Tony nibbling at his bottom lip. In the end, he looks back at Natasha, the former Russian spy, “But the incident right after she left…”

A breach that erased all of your data, along with the data of three staff within the Avengers Compound, happened a few months after you left the Compound and disappeared. Not only the records of your information, but also calls and texts, almost every trace of your presence was erased completely from both Avengers Compound and the government system as well.

The three staff later identified as mutants. They fled from the compound on the same day of the incident.

No one knew where you were. No CCTV or surveillance camera has recorded your prescence ever since.

It's a shame to admit, but no one bothered to look either.

After all, there were no demands or ransoms asked. And they were too busy saving the world to care for such trivia.

Nothing else was missing.

A few printed photos that Steve kept in his office survived. Printed photos of you and him together. That he had kept in the bottom of his drawer ever since your divorce.

A week later, Krakoa was established, announcing itself as a country and providing shelters for all mutants.

Steve suspected that the two events might be connected somehow, but Krakoa banned anyone who isn’t a mutant from entering the territory and has been moving on the map ever since, refusing any prying eyes.

Steve wanders into the patch of green a few hundred inches away from the hotel, heading towards the beach.

He was painfully reminded of you.

Of your happy times together.

And the determination you showed when you refused to tell him about your affair.

Yes, your affair. Even though you denied it. Steve believes that you were lying to him. About your location, about your everything.

About your lover.

“… come on down little monkey!” A familiar voice ghosting his ears.

A little girl screams at the top of her lungs, before giggling and sitting at the far end of a branch on a tree a few meters away, “But it’s out of power-Hi, Uncle Hank!”

The girl has blonde curly hair, bouncing as she jumps on the thin branch that could snap at any second. Steve is about to sprint to rescue when he hears you.

Your familiar voice.

“Come on, Mommy will catch you.” You clap your hand, your back facing Steve, who is hiding in the bushes. Your arms stretched wide open, urging the little girl to come down.

Urging your daughter to come down from the tree? From a branch seven feet in the air? How are you even encouraging the little girl while she could break her neck is unfathomable to Steve. This is stupid. Reckless. Irresponsible. A total -

“Come on, little monkey.” You clap your hand again, “It won’t be half as fun if I have to come up and get you.”

“Sorry, Y/N, I didn’t know that the rocket boots will die so soon,” begins a man on your side, apologizing. A thin man with glasses in his 40s. “The battery is supposed to last five hours when I put them on- Oh.”

“Yes.” Steve hears your grumpiness, “Batteries. Hank. My expertise.”

Steve knows your expertise.

Although you studied quantum physics and its application, your interest in Physics derived from your ability to absorb power and power transformation. However, you were not particularly interested in fighting bad guys, that’s why you weren’t on missions as often as he thought you would.

Batteries. You would absorb electricity from it in an instant, even when you are not intentionally doing so.

“Exhibiting her abilities so soon?” Hank gasps in disbelief, raising his head to look at your daughter jumping on that twig, “Normally it would be until their teen years.”

You chuckle, “Missing out on the latest Bio lab, aren’t you? They just published a paper about how mutant parents would cause a higher rate of mutant children, and as a result, their abilities tend to show earlier. Even so,” you kick the sand under your feet, your voice less exciting, “Hers is showing earlier than I did.”

“You showed your ability when you were five, right?”

“Two months till five. But yeah, pretty early. She made the light in our room flick on and off, starting from a month ago.” You make one last attempt at your daughter, who is having her fun with those thick rocket boots on her feet, “Be a sweetheart and come down, alright? Mommy is getting tired and we haven’t had dinner yet.” You plead softly.

“Alright, Mommy.” The little girl answers.

As Steve watches from afar, worrying sick that your daughter would fall from the tree, she spreads her arms and falls from the tree. But like a piece of paper, descending slowly into your arms.

Absorbing gravity to cancel it out. One of your typical moves too. Steve thinks bitterly. No doubt the little girl is your daughter.

Hank offers something as you three walk further from Steve and the bush he’s hiding. Steve didn’t quite catch what he said, but he hears you reply with a certain “Yes”.

Your voice trails away, “But it’ll be fine. Won’t we, little monkey?”

The little girl giggles again.

“Do you want Daddy back, Mommy?” Your daughter Maddie asks abruptly as you take out the storybook before bed.

“I-” It would be a lie, to say that you do not want Steve. But years have gone by and you’ve built your life around Maddie and Krakoa. While you were desperate, wanting him back when you found yourself pregnant with Maddie, the night when he left your house, you knew that the only reason Steve would stick around, which is knowing that you are pregnant. Despite the responsibility he would be burdened with, he would also doubt whether he’s raising some other people’s child, since he already suspects that you were cheating, and your life would be miserable with his indifference.

You remember your panicking and fearing his leave.

Thinking that he can’t leave you, not when you are pregnant, not when you are working on a home and a shelter for your future children, trying to create a safe haven for you and your family.

But he left.

“I don’t know, sweetheart.” You tuck a strand of her blonde curls behind her ears, gazing into her beautiful cerulean eyes, “I hurt your father really bad when I made the big mistake that we talked about. And he hurt me too. Not that he wanted to, but he left me alone in this world.” You kiss her short chubby hand, placing her hand on your cheek, “We won’t be happy ever again. Because I lied to him. And he will always remember it.”

“Oh.” Maddie sounds disappointed, scrunching her little face together, “But Daddy knows you are doing the right thing, right? Building Kra-Kra-Krakoa and our home?”

She tried a few times to pronounce the word “Krakoa”, making you smile.

“I don’t know, sweetheart.” You explain to her with more patience than you can ever imagine, “I have never seen your father ever since.”

“He should!” Your daughter curls herself up into a ball in your arms, nuzzling your soft pyjamas, “He should be proud of you. And what you did. You help build the island, Mommy. Daddy should know. And he will forget your lying.”

Kids. Always thinking everything in the world is so simple. A small grin creeps up your lips.

But in your heart, the bitterness swirls into a dark pit.

Everyone else understood. Other mutants who had a family, who told their partners they will be gone for a while, who lied to their partners that they were needed for a job.

Their partners did. Their partners understood the cruelty of separation and the pain that those mutants cannot utter a word about their whereabouts, or the details of the job. The worst you’ve heard of, aside from yourself as an example, was a huge fight between Lorna and her boyfriend, but in the end, she forgave him after a week, having enough trust for both of them to continue their relationship and got married two years ago.

But no. Not Steve.

Steve, who quickly jumped to the conclusion that there was no need to continue this marriage.

Steve, after leaving word of divorcing you, left. To some shit-eating place in South Africa, for two whole months.

Two months. Two months of prying eyes and prodding questions from the Avengers, which you knew they were being kind and helpful, but you couldn’t stay there. Not when it brought pain and scars to your chest every time you’d see some possession that belonged to him, and cry your eyes out, nearly losing Maddie as a result. Not when they were also suspecting that you cheated on Steve and scolding you lightly, telling you to “speak to Steve and ask for his forgiveness”.

They were his family. Not really yours.

Yours is here.

You kiss her forehead, tucking her in, “I sure hope so. Good night, sweetheart.”

Your smile fades as your mind drifts to the human delegation that is alleged to arrive today.

You asked to be kept out of the loop and out of the trails that the delegation is visiting. You even confirmed with Hank today that you would take these three days off from the lab.

You blocked all relevant information regarding those visitors.

You were raised by this mutant family, by mutants such as Jean and Hank and befriended them, and you had your heart broken in the human world. You don’t want anywhere near humans ever again.

“These are some state-of-the-art devices. I have to say, I’m very impressed.” Tony tilts his head to the side, reading the metrics recorded on the screen in the up-state Bio lab, “This is not quite my expertise though, the project you are operating here.”

Hank magnifies the part Tony is observing onto the huge screen behind them, “We are trying to incorporate human thoughts into robots, but in a wireless form. With a thought-” Hank, the man in glasses, places two stickers onto his head, and a robotic arm on the far end of the lab begins writing “Welcome”, stopping dead when it comes to “O”. Hank shrugs, not even bothered by the failure of the demonstration, “We have a talented specialist that helps with coding, but there are always some interferences with the transmission.”

Natasha clears her throat to gain their attention, “I’m also very impressed with the construction of the island as a whole. A construction this large should take … what, five years and a couple hundred workers?”

“Two and a half, to be precise.” Hank gestures for them to move forward onto the Physics lab, peeling the stickers off his temple, “About three dozen mutants involved. It would be sooner if it weren’t…” As if he suddenly was reminded of something, Hank let out a short “Ah”, and a brief pause, “if it weren’t some … unintentional held-up with one of our finest mutants.” His eyes land on sulking Steve, only for a few seconds.

Hank said it with a proud smile on his face. It didn’t take Steve forever to recognize the man from the beach last night, who gave your daughter, very irresponsibly, Steve might add, rocket boots.

Your daughter’s father is very irresponsible too. Not even showing up when your daughter is in danger. He thinks, clenching his jaw, praying for strength that he would punch that guy in the face if he ever meets him.

Natasha and Tony exchange a glance behind Hank, failing to notice Steve and his stern expressions.

“But it must have been a huge effort, even with three dozen, to keep them silent?” Natasha jokes light-heartedly, “There’s hardly any secret in the Avengers Compound without the full staff knowing it in three days.”

Hank nods politely, holding the door for them to come through, “Well, yes. But as you are well aware, a few of our best mutants are telepathic, meaning they could plant a gag order in our heads,” Hank taps his temple with his knuckle, “We couldn’t speak to anyone else about Krakoa for three years until it’s established. Our mind forbade us to speak of it because of the gag order.”

“Masochists, and they are proud of it,” Natasha whispers to Tony in a rush.

“It is troubling. Misunderstandings and arguments have aroused based on the gag order and its implementation.” Hank walks them through the long hallway from one building to another, “But we agreed it’s for the best at that moment.”

Tony makes a face that isn’t as obvious, but Steve and Natasha could tell that’s his disapproving face.

As Hank opens another door for them, the first thing they see is a little girl playing with her toy car on a tall chair. She slides the car down from a colorful track, and the track would deliver the toy car back to her hands.

“Maddison!” Hank rushes to her side, looking up and down to see whether the girl got hurt, “What are you doing here?”

“Mommy needs to pick up something.” Maddie points at you, cheering, “Look! Mommy Mommy!” She drops her toy car to the ground, and jumps off the tall chair, running to you and hugging your thigh.

Steve stops breathing. Seeing you, well and alive in front of him, with your daughter, in a rosy-pink dress that you bought while dating him a few years back.

You look … the same.

“Get behind me, Maddie.” You tug the little girl on her arm, to have her shielded fully behind your legs. An undetectable shakiness in your voice.

Maddie peeks from behind you. She doesn’t understand where this tension is coming from, but she understands one thing: “Mommy, is that Daddy?” She raises her head and asks.

You hate to lie to your daughter. But you are not going to let her be exposed to Natasha and Tony, and most importantly, Steve.

“Christ. It’s Y/N.” Tony mutters.

“Mommy, he looks exactly like the photo you showed me.” Maddie asks in confusion, pointing towards Steve, “He looks exactly like Daddy?”

“Maddison, not now.” It takes all your willpower not to push them all out of the lab at once, “Hank, would you mind?” You glance icily at Hank, urging him to solve the problem at hand.

“Yes, of course.” Hank starts to head the other way, “I’m sorry, but we’re behind schedule. If you would come with me-”

“No one is coming anywhere until we deal with this,” Tony announces, one hand already on his wristwatch, which you know contains a small plasma canon if he activates it.

“Is she…?” Steve knows the answer to his question before he asks. The hair and the eyes are similar to his, and the nose and lips resemble yours-

“Boys,” Natasha raises her voice, “Let’s be civil, shall we?”

“How old is she?” Steve feels a lump down his throat, “is she-”

“Civil?” You let out a dry laugh, the exact opposite of amused, “Tony Fucking Stark is ready to attack when he pulls out that wristwatch. And Natasha, long time no see, the same goes for your widow bites too. Yeah, I saw the glowing blue under your sleeves. You are trying to take my child away from me in a heartbeat and call yourself civil?”

“Tony, Nat.” Steve speaks.

Two words that bring the two of them away from their weapons.

You pick Maddie up from the ground, having your back to the Avengers, protecting your daughter from their grasp, “Let’s go, Maddie. I am apparently not welcomed here.”

“Y/N!” Steve calls to your back, “Y/N, please!”

Natasha is tempted to step forward and ask you to stay and talk this out, being blocked by Hank.

“I assume it is best that you stay right where you are,” Hank says politely, though his thin body has no intention of moving.

Maddie hugs your neck, laying her head on your shoulders. Her blue eyes focusing on Steve while you walk away.

Find my The Slumber Party Present Bingo Challenge here 👈

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[dontbesoweirdkira]

Yandere Alphabet—Johnny Cage MK1

A/N: I’m back in my MK11/1 phase so please be prepared for the toxic men we love/hate! Here’s prime Johnny being a absolute monster to his darling. Remember this is all my opinion.

Warnings: abuse, violence, emotional/verbal abuse, kidnapping, forced videos, ect…

Masterlist

Requests: Mk11/1/X or whatever else I write for open 24/7

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Johnny dearest is always functioning at a highhhhh intensity! Especially when it comes to his darling.

He’s never shy of showing his love for you. He doesn’t just have one love language… Gift giving, physical affection, words of affirmation and quality time are all his favorites.

It can often times be quite scary witnessing this first hand. He’s constantly love bombing you and acting a little too perfect at times to win you over…of course this is only followed by his✨abusive behavior ✨

Any little piece of information he can grab from you, he will use it for his benefit. You like a certain brand? Here is everything they have in every single color….

You like a partner you can sit and paint with?! Well buckle up baby because he is now, Mr. Johnny Ross(loll)

He’s willing to one up anything someone will offer you with something farrrrr greater.

You’re smothered with all kinds of physical affection as-well and it doesn’t matter who is around y’all at the time. You can try to push him away, his grip will only become tighter and he’ll utter sweet nothings in your ear, “the more you fight me,the worse I’ll make this for you.”

His smile and gestures are oh so sweet, but there’s just something so chilling behind it.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Before Johnny had ever joined the tournament he was a very great muy thai fighter, sometimes to a fault.

Cage got himself into lots of trouble and plenty of fights during his career over very small issues….you don’t think he’ll go through hell and back for you?!

I mean come on he kills for fun at this point, he’ll gladly slice someone’s head off if they disrespect you.

I honestly don’t believe there’s any limits Johnny is not willing to cross when it comes down to getting his hands bloody. Torture, extortion, kicking someone into a moving train…

I mean hell I’d say at his very worst delusional state he’d even kill someone publicly if that proves his devotion to you.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

From reading other writers works and analyzing hours of Johnny cannon content…it seems to be a mixed bag.

But I personally think he would be rather mean towards you.

Yes MK1 johnny is a sweetie pie and really seems to care about people he loves but his wife still left him over his ways.

I can see him being extremely condescending and enjoying watching you beg for food or to be let out.

He’s a narcissistic asshole at his core. I think he’d get much pleasure out of forcing you to give praises to him and perform certain humiliating tasks to get what you want/need out of him.

(Don’t mean this sexually lmaooo)

“Oh you want some water, sweetheart? Sure! You know you can have whatever you want in this house….as long as you do what I asked for earlier..”

I think Johnny would also film you doing these tasks while he laughs at and mocks you. Just something wholesome for him to watch when he’s away from you🥰

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Obviously the stuff I mentioned previously plussss

Forcing you to go to premiers, red carpet, parties, and interviews.

Sometimes he’ll make you sit in his movie trailer all day while he’s getting ready or reciting lines. You will have to compliment his hair and costuming thoroughly or no one will go home until it’s right.

“It looks great.” Ain't gonna cut it!! Please just play along. The costuming and makeup department are underpaid and overworked. He’s gonna have a full blown diva meltdown if you don’t respond correctly.

Also! You don’t have a choice to not be all over his social media or on his live streams…and you better not even HINT to being abducted because you will get it!!

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Depends on how long you’ve been his darling…

I think Johnny is fantastic at pretending his life is perfectly fine and that “Cage” is really him.

He wants you to believe he truly is all he is cracked up to be. Deep down all narcissistic people are a little bit insecure though and he fears you’re going to walk out on him if the mirror shatters.

Living in his house longer than a few months is easy to see just how messed up and vulnerable he actually is. No matter how much he tries to hide his addictions, failing career and lack thereof money…you see it all.

Every now and then Johnny will get black out drunk and have a moment of vulnerability. He’ll shower you in endless apologies and cry about how much he’s just scared you’ll leave…

You’re so perfect and pure unlike his disgusting self. You’re the only reason why he still tries—-blah blah blah

He forgets all that crap in the morning and goes back to being his usual self. Don’t bring this up, even in the heat of your emotions he’ll gaslight the hell outta you

(Deep down he knows what you’re saying is true but who would he be to admit this)

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

It’s hilarious…Oo it reminds him of this old Hollywood film..what was it called again?

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Is it a good day or is it happening after a shitty day at the studio??

A good day? He’ll just have fun with it. You’re not strong enough to even win this so why do you try???

It’s cute though and it doesn’t really phase him at all. Like I said he looooves recording videos of things like this to replay later. He might even play it for you again before you go to sleep, just to remind you who actually has the upper hand.

“Hahahaha, oh this is comedy gold! Are you seeing this? I hope you’re watching so the next time you think about being a pain in my ass and try to escape, you’ll remember just how weak you are. This is my kingdom baby..no one leaves unless I say so.”

He says this all with his stupid smile before turning over to fall asleep like it’s nothingg

A bad day he’s pissssed. Can’t you see that he is trying all he can to get back on top…FOR YOU…and you wanna be a little bitch and escape??

There’s nothing but pure rage and I’d caution you to ignore anything that leaves his mouth for the next two hours

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He wants to obviously get back on top of the world. He craves that attention and status again. He wants to get married to you, maybe make you into some kind of model or something too…maybe not….you’re only allowed to pose for him.

You’ll be his perfect little trophy that he can parade and throw around as he pleases. You’ll get everything you could ever want.

Who wouldn’t want to be married to an Emmy-Award winning super starr?? This is the perfect life no?

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Jealous? Johnny Cage and jealous being used in the same sentence?! Yes.

He’ll never ever give you the satisfaction of admitting that he is. He always gets jealous over the littlest things.

He doesn’t believe in you having a Hollywood crush…he is the Hollywood crush and how dare you insult him by even suggesting that person is hotter than him?!

He’ll spend hours dissecting them and how every feature or personality trait is unattractive in contrast to his. You’re starting rivalries, y/nnnn!!!

You are to not look, speak , or breathe the same air as another man. Johnny will constantly be in the backseat of a cop car fighting these guys.

If he suspects you’re crushing/talking to someone else(even if you’re not) he’ll lash out about it.

Your devices, journals, and personal items are all confiscated until he goes through every single one of them to make sure you’re really not cheating.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Okay let me give him a break. I’ve talked so much about him being a menace that I need to remind everyone that he’s a natural romancer.

Ganghis khan doesn't have anything on the amount of women he’s been with. Of course Johnny knows a few things about being sweet to a lady.

There’s plenty of days where he’s extremely charming and shows that he cares. Even with his crippling debt, he still finds money to spoil you.

A lot of times you think he isn’t listening to you because he’s always glued to his phone. While that may be 60% true, he does pleasantly surprise you with the things you mentioned or talked about. He’ll have his assistants scour the internet trying to find rare items from your favorite fixation for you.

I mentioned he is extremely physically and verbally affectionate at times. A lot of the times his compliments are…degenerative but he will say something wholesome every now and again.

“Hmm…I really love your hair like that. The curls really make you look lovely.”

On a regular day he does speak rather gently to you, especially in public and if you get nervous from all the paparazzi.

He doesn’t shy away from PDA. Cage isn’t embarrassed of you at all, even if you are more of a plain Jane. You’re still smoking hottttt!

Don’t worry about asking before touching him. If you’re a socially anxious person, he actually gets excited when you hold onto his arm or curl up into him.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Flirtatious banter and love bombing…

He was genuinely shocked when you had absolutely no interest in him. That has never not worked on a woman. (A lie) You didn’t even accept the Chanel bag?! That’s a first.

when he realized all his tricks weren’t going to work, he resorted to just taking what is rightfully his.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He likes to take away any kind of enjoyment from you. If you want to act up and not obey him…fine. If he’s not happy then you can’t be.

He’ll deactivate devices, turn off the water or light, even lock up all the food items so you can become deprived.

Will also make the house extremely hot or cold and remove any blankets/air conditioning.

You liked your stuffed animals and nicknacks? How about your prized possessions? Well too bad. He’ll throw them all in a box and hide them somewhere.

The bedroom is emptied and if you need to use the bathroom, you can pee in a cup. His luxury soaps and toilet are only meant for him at the moment.

Can be rather verbally abusive as well. You won’t be able to forget that “he’s the prize”, princess. He gave you everything, and he’ll take it right back. You only get things if you’re good.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

This all depends on you, chica…

How loving are you towards him? Are you constantly giving him such a hard time? Do you reject every advance and sweet moment that he tried to give you?

If not, he’s a saint. He’ll ignore your bad behavior and cut you some slack. He’ll find your antics to be more endearing than anything.

If so, he’s not so patient. Why cut you so much slack when you push him out everyday. You’re not even trying for him.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

I don’t believe so. At most…he might think, “gosh did I really just capture her?”, at first.

But then when he really thinks about it, the pros outweigh the cons. He gets to have you all to himself. You’ll learn to love him, he usually grows on people.

Besides, the authorities would never believe that a super star like him, would ever kidnap some random chick, like you.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Okay I have mentioned that he’s a little shit and finds it a bit funny when you cry…but isolation is something he hates.

Yeah like go ahead lock yourself in the bedroom for about an hour because you’re upset. Anytime after that, he’s kicking down the door.

He brought you here to spend time with him. You’re not going to waste away in some closet. Besides he’s worried that you’re plotting to jump out the window or something. He doesn’t want you to hurt yourself either.

Trying to distance yourself from him won’t work out for you. If you sit on the opposite side of the couch or refuse to cuddle in bed, he’s handcuffing himself to you so that you have no choice but to interact with him.

This is kind of sick but sometimes when you’re having one of your moments he might start live streaming just to get you to stop. He’ll flip the script and act like he’s the one hurting. He knows you don’t like the spotlight and are too scared to stand up for yourself because his fans won’t believe you.

You’ll usually give into what he wants and apologize to him until he turns it off.

“See…that wasn’t so hard. I won’t have to include my fans in our problems if you didn’t act out like this. I just get so frustrated that I have no choice but to put you on blast.”

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

He has quite a few. Picking on his insecurities and soft spots are the best ways to manipulate him.

Sweet talk to him, make him think you’ve finally realized how much he loves you. How much you truly do need him to survive. He’s given you a whole new life for the better and you’re sorry for not seeing that sooner.

Play on this for quite a while until he lets his guard down…just pray he doesn’t catch onto your manipulation before you can get far enough away.

He’ll never let up on you when he finds you.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

I don’t believe he’d beat on you.

I do agree with some other writers that he would threaten you with violence or even put something to your throat but I can’t see him going through with it.

He just wanted to scare you into loving him.

“Come on, babe. I’ll put it down if you tell me how much you love me? Hmm. How about that you won’t ever look in another man’s eyes ever again.”

I do think at times he’ll be extremely rough with you. You might even end up with scratches or a bloody nose. I don’t think any of those were purposeful. You were just fighting him so much that it happened.

If he’s super pissed with you, hair and ear pulling would definitely be on the bingo card. (Possibly biting? Or are you guys like number 5 and find that weird?)

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Oh so badly but only if you won't be cooperative with him.

He needs your attention, love and support. He needs to have every single inch of you. All your energy and time should only go to him. He won’t budge on just some 50%,..he needs it all. Trust me when I say that he knows if you’re not giving enough.

Whatever gets the best results out of you he will continue to do at full intensity until you give into him.

You’ll learn to forgive and forget about all the things he’s done. One day you’ll see the bigger picture.

Johnny can’t handle rejection and has never been one to give up. If it’ll take years to break you, so be it. You’ll be the best award he’ll ever win in his lifetime.

[supremechancellorrex]

I've been thinking about what the Bad Batch means to me these past few weeks and things just don't quite sit right. When I started watching the Clone Wars, it felt like a lot of love and care had been poured into the project. The clones had unique personalities built from the ground up, with even minor characters getting quirks. Hevy only appeared in two episodes, yet is so loved. Hardcase is missed despite only really appearing in one arc because of expert character crafting and real, actual effort with the writing.

The point of the Clone War was that the clones were individuals, they had agency and they could have an impact on their lives and others. Referred to as 'property', with no representation or rights, they are slave soldiers in function, who are biologically identical although at times with slight variation, but their personalities and motivations matter and have weight. This is why Fives nearly ruins Palpatine's plans. This is why Rex is able to resist the inhibitor chip in Order 66 and help save Ahsoka.

This is why I'm not sure I can forgive the Bad Batch.

Spitting on Grandpa

When the Bad Batch started, I was initially quite excited because it was advertised as a sequel to the Clone Wars. The first episode opens up with the title 'The Clone Wars' fading into the Bad Batch, but the show is anything but because the 'regs', as normal clones have been dubbed, don't matter now. Instead, the only characters with agency are a special group of clones who mostly don't look like the clones based on Jango Fett (Temuera Morrison) or even scientifically fit the basic definition of what a 'clone' is.

How is this not meant to be insulting for TCW and the Clone Fandom? I watch normal clones like Commander Wilco get shot in the face. I watch Mayday choke and die for Crosshair's development. I watch Rex play second fiddle to the Bad Batch on screen, the man and leader who used to always say "I'm always first, kid" and take the reins. I watch Cody appear for an episode only to not appear again this season and have no impact on the narrative other than Crosshair's development. Can 'regs' no longer change the world? Do the 'boring', 'regular' slave soldiers have no impact anymore?

Echo: "The fate of all the clones is now sealed because of us."

When it comes to normal clones impacting the narrative, the closest we get is Rex's resistance network, which features actual clones actually doing something. Yet apparently an episode about the Bad Batch discovering an island paradise world and battling a tsunami deserves more screen time than seeing how the 'regs' set that one up. Even this plot point is less about finally saving Howzer and normal clones like him, and more about Echo not being with the Bad Batch and further setting up the plot regarding Tech and Crosshair. The normal clones remain non-entities outside of the Bad Batch's development, they have no agency beyond this.

This is why we see stock reg clone characters bully the Bad Batch in the Season 1 opening, because despite them all being slaves under the thumb of fascism and the fact normal clones treated Ninety-Nine (the beloved hunchback clone from TCW Season 3) fine, it's the Bad Batch's plight that only matters now, their persecuted perspective on being special and better than the regs, regs that are now treated as old news, an afterthought. The world feels small, and inexcusably less richer than it was.

Essentially, we're no longer allowed to see what the reg clones motivations are, why there are reg clones that actually, canonically, dislike the Bad Batch as opposed to Ninety-Nine. People like to speculate, but on screen we are not shown or told in TBB. We're also not shown why all the named clones from Howzer, Mayday, Fireball, Gregor and Nemec to Cut, Cody and Rex never had issues with the differences other than they're the good regs I guess. Hell, even Cody and Mayday's remaining squad say nothing of Crosshair's mutations, not even one catty comment.

Conclusion

So, what does this mean? The Bad Batch steals the clones' agency and makes it their own. They wear the clone identity, but refuse to help normal 'reg slave' clones that look like actual clones in favour of focusing on themselves and their 'more important' personal problems. The Bad Batch are special not because of who they are or that they've worked hard, but because they look different from other clones, because they're just more capable and have special abilities. It's not who you are that counts, it's what you are.

And, now, I even see fans doing what TCW told us not to, disregarding normal clones, 'explaining' why the Bad Batch are fine to leave the reg clones to die because they called them "The Sad Batch" one time. Somehow the Bad Batch undoes all of TCW's work, stripping the clones of their agency and making them into just victims sleepwalking into extinction as we wait for the Bad Batch to consider trying to actively save them.

Echo: "The fate of all the clones is now sealed because of us."

And, then the rest of TBB go cave exploring and holidaying on Pabu. This series might as well be about natborns.

[mdhwrites]

So, how does Discord from MLP fare as a chaotic god creature who gains redemption from friendship? Considering your issues with The Collector, what made the idea that Discord could be redeemed by Fluttershy's friendship work better?

So, the ask that caused me to finish watching the finale. Let's do this. *cracks neck*

Discord is less human and empathetic.

That... Is actually most of it which I know probably sounds a little weird. After all, shouldn't a kinder character be easier to redeem? Shouldn't it be more satisfying to see them change from their negative influences? Well... Yes. For most characters.

Discord and The Collector are not most characters. They're all powerful gods who mostly get enjoyment from chaos and causing problems. You inherently need a different approach to how they function when it comes to their morality. After all, neither one sees the death or loss of autonomy for a massive amount of people as a big deal so long as they had fun. That hedonism is a core part of both characters.

And this is where the Collector's humanity becomes a problem for the reason why it works with Discord: When Discord fucks over Fluttershy in his redemption, he doesn't expect her to be fair. To be good to him. His expectation, and desire even because of how he sees things, is that she'll snap. She'll get mad, break her word, and he'll be proven right about how all of this is bullshit. Sure, he probably gets turned to stone again but he's immortal. Time doesn't matter as much victory does. Even better if she snaps but keeps her word while swearing him up and down because now he gets to do what he wants.

But... He doesn't get that, does he? She keeps her word... But cuts ties. Doesn't get mad (and sorry if I'm misrepresenting any of this), doesn't throw a fit, doesn't do much of anything. Instead, she lets him know this isn't what friends do, that they aren't friends anymore, and leaves.

He won... But didn't get a prize. Didn't get the reward of breaking Fluttershy's patience. Doesn't get the reward of moral superiority because she dropped her mask and that's a CRUCIAL part of this. He NEVER believed that Fluttershy was being sincere. In his eyes, no one ever is. His chaos is actually revelatory more than anything else to him. Push someone to brink and where do their allegiances lie. That's literally what he does when he first shows up in S2 and shows how weak the element bearers can be when pitted against their own desires and vices. All but Fluttershy who annoyed him because she wouldn't play ball. She stuck to being kind.

I'm actually kind of loving how I expected to say I didn't think Discord's redemption was great but I actually love how even back in his first appearance, you can see the blocks they built on for it. But... why does this redeem him then?

Well because it proves him wrong and gives him something he's never had: A friend. Someone who doesn't wear a mask with him. Someone who genuinely cares about him. He's never had that and so yeah, he's free forever since the elements won't be used against him but... In return, he never gets the kindness he just finally experienced. A kindness that by the show's logic is the most powerful thing in the universe, literally. And so he decides that the only way to win is to lose and gives up so he can be friends with Fluttershy.

All of this btw explains why he never bothers trying to connect with the rest because he just sees them as masks which helps keep him antagonistic, even if he's not a villain now.

So what does this all have to do with The Collector? Well, see, with Discord, before his change, you could never win making a deal with him. You don't matter to him so you actually have to exchange something. With the Collector... You matter.

People matter to him... Which makes EVERYTHING he does WAY WORSE.

And this isn't even about killing people. For as fucking stupid as him not knowing what death is, and just a straight up lie by the show that goes fucking nowhere and has no payoff, that is not actually important here. Sure, it shows a lack of understanding to what he does, but the dehumanization is enough. He does horribly monstrous things to EVERYONE on the Isles. Full stop. He is a monster and this link takes you to something more comprehensive on that.

And he does that... While understanding his actions upset others and that he doesn't like that.

The smoking gun here is the line "King will hate me now." He knew going in that the dreams would piss off King. That hurting Eda and Luz had consequences. Consequences HE DIDN'T WANT. Discord thought there was no losing play because he could not imagine actually hurting Fluttershy in a way that mattered to him. It is VERY easy for the Collector. It's actually why King has so much power over him. He is desperate to keep his friend around.

But if he can recognize the humanity in one person, why can't he for literally anyone else?

And that's the killing blow. Even if you buy into EVERYTHING about the death stuff, he still knows he's doing monstrous things. That he has done monstrous things. This is why he doesn't like King reading about his brothers. Admittedly, you also have a moment like him asking for Grudgby buddies but... Why? The evidence is overwhelmingly stacked that he knows the people hate him. Otherwise he wouldn't have stars hunting and making people into dolls. Making them into nothing but toys instead of even giving them a chance to be his friend. Terra and Odalia live in fear of annoying him AT ALL and getting turned into a puppet, which happens to Terra. He treats people TERRIBLY... While knowing what he does is wrong.

While knowing King doesn't like this. That he doesn't like how King looks at him in those moments. He himself in the finale admits that the friendship is a lie and it hurts but he'd rather have that than not have a friend. But... He's been at this for months. He has been doing these things, with King by his side, for MONTHS.

Why did none of these people get even a chance? What is the underlying philosophy for the Collector? That he thinks they'll lie and cheat with him? It's not like King wasn't getting something out of their deal so King should be just as untrustworthy as everyone else. More so honestly because he IS immune to his magic so the Collector is defenseless if King decides to shove him back into the mirror. But... He gives King a chance. And he needs proof to believe that someone is out to get him. That's why Belos needs to have him check on King. He doesn't assume people are lying like Discord does.

And also... What does he get out of fucking with people? Discord genuinely takes pleasure in your misery. In you losing your mind. We get the death games in the finale but why that scale? Why the unfair rules? He's cheating like he accuses others of doing. But... He wants others to be honest with him. Discord lies because he doesn't expect anyone to bother being honest with him, not if they can get something out of lying.

That's why I describe it as the Collector being too human. He is too genuinely a person to have his crimes be as easily dismissed. For a simple shift in outlook, one thing proving his hypothesis wrong, to be what changes him.

Mind you... That doesn't happen either. The Collector isn't redeemed in the TOH finale. The one rushed part of the finale is when he should have been convinced that Luz was right. When he should have apologized for what he'd done or done a grand gesture to show he had changed how he viewed things. Instead, there's brief talk about forgiveness and kindness, which is not what the Collector is actually asking for because he claims during this section to not have actually done anything wrong (refer to everything above), he mumbles about it, and then I guess his big redemption moment is trying to use the theory on Belos. Except, you know... He spends the entire episode wanting to make friends. He is told a way to make friends and bluntly uses it like he did Belos' plans that started the episode and the death games. He hasn't grown or changed which is probably why the moment is treated as a complete joke. Then Luz dies ten seconds later and I guess figuring out that death exists SCREAMS makes him go save people. Hurray?

It's bad. At least Fluttershy's moment was genuinely built up. They showed how Discord viewed things and then presented a choice that actively asked that he either stay to his old mindset and beliefs or change to face a scarier, uncertain future. The Collector is still mostly just going off of "Friends are great! Do what makes you friends the easiest!" which isn't a new mentality for him. I guess you MAYBE get it when he fucks off in the end but also not really. Kind of like how Luz gave the demon realm a middle finger, him leaving without actually fixing like 90% of the damage he did, something that would be really easy for him but takes the citizens of the Isles FOUR YEARS, feels a lot more like that. Like these people don't like him, won't be his friends, so he tries a new planet instead. Maybe with a bit less forcing people to be his friend but why? His viewpoint seems to still be what it always has been, especially since he DOESN'T stick around to try actually be King's friend. To actually work with him and give him agency. He does all he has to to not make King hate him and then... Leaves. Instead of, you know, actually putting the work in which would have taken one line of "The Collector agreed to a power dampener to help everyone else feel a bit easier and is now working with King on what their friendship will be instead of telling him how it will be." Maybe even with showing him losing at Jenga, King getting nervous but then the Collector just laughs it off because he doesn't need to be in control anymore. He can lose and still be happy.

And again: This is the ONE part of the finale that's actually rushed. For as painfully slow and wasteful as the rest is, redeeming the Collector was just left on the chopping room floor I guess. Then again, that happened with Amity too, who never makes up for the bullying she did or actually apologizes for the years of bullying, just for the original sin (and then leaves Willow high and dry). It also happened with Hunter who always states very selfish motivations for wanting to be away from Belos and never actually disavows the things he did or the mindset he did them with. It's why I say he left Belos just because otherwise he'd be dead because it all still feels self serving. It doesn't feel like his worldview or his morality actually changed besides understanding his uncle wanted him dead.

TOH is just bad at redemption. At actually changing a character and having them rebuke their past. At least with Discord, the show is bluntly honest about even the initial attempt having a carrot on a stick for him. That if he doesn't play nice, it's back into the statue. It's why it's important that that carrot is gone in his moment of redemption. We know what he wants: Freedom and Chaos. Fluttershy won't put him back into the statue so he has those. But he chooses friendship instead because they've genuinely changed his mind and so he gives up both some of his freedom, and some of his chaos, to behave and play nice, even when Fluttershy had no reason to actually be nice to him even when he changed everything back in the end. He could have just lost. He didn't have to be honest and straightforwardly kind to another, things that the episode itself was asking whether or not it was possible for him to do.

There just isn't anything like that with the Collector and reminder: Discord is redeemed in his second appearance. He gets an hour of airtime where he can even show up before this happens. The Collector has more time to be fleshed out, genuinely, than Discord did. But... The Collector doesn't actually change. He might claim it but we don't see that. We don't see him do anything that would actually sell us on him having changed his worldview. After all, he forgave the Titans by still wanting to befriend one. He showed plenty of kindness to King with stuff like not forcing him to give Francois.

He already was like this so why does the little trip down memory lane do anything? Especially when for most of it, King, Eda and Luz are barely paying attention to him so the writers can circle jerk about the plans they had or about the amazing story they made. Even his big moment is undercut by being a joke. By obviously being the wrong move and then costing Luz her life. Just another dumb plan he enacted because someone told him it would get him friends.

That's not different and unfortunately it doesn't fix the awful things he did to others. The things he knows were wrong that he did. Discord never had to apologize for it because he'd never thought of them as wrong. Not until the moment everything changed for him.

Nothing changed for the Collector. Not a single thing.

======+++++======

Something that is just kind of an undercurrent of this but that I cannot stress enough for why the two are different: Discord can do what he does so quickly because he is a genuinely consistent character with clear goals and motivations. Meanwhile, the Collector is maybe the most inconsistent character I have ever seen which kind of makes redemption impossible in the first place. How do you redeem a character who seems to change core elements of himself every episode?

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[brucenorris007]

"Sonic 06: gameplay is shit, story is shit."

Okay, I somewhat disagree but don't see the need to expend energy toward-

*comparison between 06 and Forces is drawn*

My brain: heyguesswhatyou'rehyperfocusednow

I was going to do things today. . . but here we are.

Okay, up top and up front: 06 and Forces are both flawed, yes.

But they are flawed in fundamentally different ways, and Forces flaws are, quite frankly, far more glaring and demeritorious for a franchise like Sonic than 06. Anyone who, years from now, goes on to claim that "Uh, actually, Forces was peak." the way that some people are saying about 06 now will be just as, if not more, wrong. And I'll attribute such claims to declining media literacy.

BEFORE the youngsters in the fandom start throwing things at me, note that I said just as wrong. 06 wasn't ever as good as some of the mainline games prior or even spinoff titles after.

The difference is, most of 06's issues stem from the fact that it reads as pitiably unfinished.

The problems with Forces begin and end with the fact that it reads like self-insert fan fiction that had either zero beta readers or too many beta readers that were all given editing privileges. There's definitely a place in the world for that sort of creativity, but said place is not within a licensed game that people have to pay for; one that drastically affects the canon of the franchise and how the fans old and new perceive it and the characters within.

All right? Okay, let's get into details.

Let's address gameplay first, since I have less to say about that.

On this count, if nothing else, Forces barely edges out by being functional; granted, that's the end of it. I wouldn't go back to play it again, and the 'highlights' I can recall mostly felt like reskins of stages in the style of Colors but shortened, with boss fights reminiscent of daytime Unleashed. I imagine the primary draw for people is watching their customized 'sona jump and fly around whilst listening to dialogue from the main cast.

And this isn't really a substantive point, but the fact that receiving stuff like outfits like loot crates at the end of virtually every stage feels kind of manipulative and annoys me. If there's unlockable features, put some actual challenge between the player and the prize, like how you perform within the stage. Otherwise it's just another example of "shiny, novelty, tickle brain often, get player to play longer."

Setting that brief tangent aside since that's just a trend in games in general and not Sonic specific, moving on to 06's gameplay. And uh, yeah. The USP was, like the adventure games, supposed to be that you got three interconnected stories and three main characters each with unique play styles.

I suppose 06 showed us before anything else that Shadow really isn't as fast as Sonic, and as an idea, Silver's psychokinesis was cool. If the tracking in the Speed Up stages and the hit boxes in a handful of other areas had been ironed out, there's foundation for a fairly solid experience. Project 06 is basically proof that the base of the game had potential that wasn't realized, whether due to time constraints or other reasons.

As far as environs, the concept for Kingdom Valley showed off the most soul, I'd say, with Silver's future coming in close second. Character design for the Iblis fragments (not sure if that's the official name but I'm doing stream-of-consciousness here) and Mephiles I actually like a lot. I don't think there's anything objectively wrong with them and however you rate them will come down to preference.

Also, the model for Sonic is like. . . ridiculously good. He just looks like an older teenager; it fits with the widely accepted idea that he was 15 as of Adventure 2. Polish it a bit and that's just how he appears in my head when I write about him.

That said, there are only about six different environs that serve as stages, discounting the hub areas, and compared to Heroes' twelve stages, it just adds to that incomplete/rushed feeling.

That's about all I can say on the gameplay aspect. Functional yet non-stimulating technically wins out over some creativity yet patchy. They are games, after all.

Now then, the "story is shit" business.

Look, if you're going to criticize Sonic's story—which, yeah, his should be subjected to more scrutiny, being the titular character—then much of what you can say against it also applies to the first Adventure. Eggman wants to collect a thing (emeralds/Princess), Sonic wants him to not collect the thing (emeralds/Princess) because he's obviously planning to do evil stuff with the thing, Sonic manages to get the thing only for Eggman to snatch it out of his hands.

Multiple times.

Meaning Sonic spends most of the games on fetch quests that Eggman keeps one-upping him on until the penultimate fight.

And those are the beats. Of both stories. (For Sonic.)

And then at the end of both games, a monster you've fought in various forms (Chaos/Iblis) reappears to threaten the world on a scale that requires the seven chaos emeralds to combat.

Super Sonic. Rad soundtrack. Credits.

Granted, much like how Gamma's story was the strongest in Adventure, the quality of the three main story lines in 06 also vary in strength, with Shadow's taking first place.

My point is, in a franchise that is about characters, you don't grade every aspect of the story on the same scale. You weigh the grade of various aspects differently; and the point that gets graded most heavily is:

Character moments; which can encapsulate literal moments, arcs, development etc.

And for all its flaws, 06 has character moments, almost immediately, even. Sonic's first spoken line is "My, that's a pretty snazzy performance there!"

Which, after the tension of Eggman interrupting the festival and threatening Elise, cuts through the moment right away and, paired with the next several seconds, shows who Sonic is. He sees Eggman's robots aiming and waits until the last second to jump before going to town bashing up bots. Even as he carts Elise off amidst homing missiles and explosions, he's grinning the whole time.

Sonic does what he does because it's fun.

And his third spoken line, answering Elise's question of why he's helping, is: "No special reason."

Again, that's Sonic. Doesn't matter who it is, he helps people because he Does what's Cool. And as well as being fun, fighting off Eggman and his bots is Cool.

06, as Silver's introduction to the series, also does a decent job establishing his character of Temporal Bulldozer. He can be aimed, but his solution to problems first and foremost is usually smashing, and it's really tricky to change his mind once he's focused. He suffers from myopia arguably as bad or worse than Metal Sonic. Amy's the only one who momentarily gets him to pause and wonder if really does want to kill Sonic.

Which is a character moment for her. As in Adventure 2, Amy will happily break laws and go against who and whatever to help her friends; and as she did with Shadow, she's rather skilled at getting very hurt people to listen.

She's not unlike Silver in her willingness to do whatever it takes, really; since Temporal Bulldozer can and does traverse time on several occasions to make things right. And up until the last moment, it never occurs to him that anyone but he should bear the burden of saving the world. Blaze has to physically shove him aside so she can absorb Iblis herself.

Silver sees himself as a Hero with a responsibility toward the future just as much Sonic sees himself as just Some Guy.

Finally, Shadow. And man, there's a reason a lot of people say 06 was the last time a game featured Shadow written correctly.

It's me. I'm one of a lot of people.

Team Dark in general gets a fair bit of spotlight in 06. Rouge, an anti-heroine with perhaps the greatest self-interest after Eggman, promises Shadow that she'd stand with him even if the very world turned against him. Omega, who loathes taking orders and prioritizes his own freedom nearly as much as Sonic, takes on Rouge's assignment for him without question or complaint to wait out 200 years to help rescue Shadow.

And Shadow, in an in-game line during his first fight with Mephiles, reaffirms all the progress he made in his titular game that was wholly about discovering his identity: "Don't bother trying to deceive me. I know who I am!"

And, in contrast to the Shadow the franchise first introduced us to, the Shadow of Adventure 2 who was thoroughly convinced that his only remaining worth was his ability to keep his promise to Maria, the Shadow who was so resigned that he chose to plummet through the planet's atmosphere to his presumed death. . .

That Shadow is faced squarely with his fate of persecution, asked why he would bother fighting to protect. That Shadow declares that it the world turns on him, "I will fight as I always have."

He's grown such that he's now willing to fight against fate.

And that's pretty fucking cool.

On the other side, applying the same grading method to Forces, we find what I call (as of just now) character fauxments.

Remember how I talked about 06's introduction for Sonic? How he cuts through tensions, finds joy and fun in fighting bullies and bad guys?

The thing about that, which Forces doesn't seem to understand, is that if you lean too hard on the wisecracks and nonchalance, you end up with a character who reads as either obnoxious or totally tone-deaf. Sonic knows when to take things seriously, yet in Forces he's purportedly been tortured as well as locked up for half a year, Infinite's destroyed countless homes and killed who knows how many people, and yet when Sonic interrupts his fight with Silver. . .

I mean, if Sonic was written correct, you'd cut out a bunch of faff and change his line delivery. Show that he's frustrated by his time confined and absolutely raring to throw hands and get to business; because Sonic does understand when things have gotten real, and while rare, he does get angry. Something like:

"Since you like talking so much, mind sharing the source of your power? I can ask the easy way or the hard way. I've been cooped up a long time, so I'm hoping you pick the hard way."

It doesn't need to be the most original lines in the world, but Sonic's banter in the middle of a war shouldn't be long-winded, no matter how pretentious his opponent is (and damn, is Infinite pretentious. Like to the point that it's the most memorable part of the game.) If there's banter, it should be punchy and succinct; quick, like he is.

Instead, Forces Sonic's attitude is just kind of. . . incongruous with the stakes the game claims to have established. But then, since we don't get a truly convincing scene showing the rest of the cast being sad that he reportedly died, that's not too surprising.

Speaking of setting up stakes, here's an idea. Rather than cutting from Sonic laying battered in the middle of the city for a lazy six-month time skip established by text on the screen, make it clear that "Oh shit, things are different" via gameplay.

After Sonic falls, immediately transition into a level. Where you run from right to left to escape Eggman's fleet. Turns everything on its head, you can witness and navigate the destruction as it's happening and if you string together enough environs, you can even have the city burning in the distance or the skyline as you near the end of the stage and escape to relative safety.

Anyway.

And of course, the notorious character fauxment: Tails cowering in front of an offline Omega.

There's nothing I can say about this fauxment that hasn't been said already. It's not the first time in the series that Tails was portrayed as having regressed to a scared child, but it is the most egregious.

And. . . actually, that's about it, at least off the top of my head. Which might speak to how short the game is and how little screen time and action the main cast get aside from Sonic and the player character.

But it's enough to determine that Forces' story, or what stands in for it, is weaker than what 06 offered.

Again, I'm not here to rally a feral defense of 06 as a masterpiece, but its flaws are not on the level of Forces. The reason they're lumped together is the amount of disdain both games got on their release; though in the case of 06, the 2000's were just a weird time when hating things was somehow cooler than liking them, and since 06 wasn't up to par with Adventure 2 or Heroes, people picked an aspect of the game-most often how much the almost final fantasy style model for Elise didn't match up with the Mobian models (and yes, the final cutscene, but there's nothing new I can say about that either, and talking about it here is just an open invitation for someone to blow it out of proportion again) and dogpiled the hate on the game.

Sonic 06 feels unfinished owing to a lot of little and larger details. Knuckles' portrayal and having little to do in the story, poor optimization leading to nearly twenty second loading times, BLAZE BEING A GLOWING NEON MISSED OPPORTUNITY! (SEGA, I know I was literally twelve when the game was released, but my Phoenix headcanon works so well and makes her appearance in both Rush and 06 work! A retroactive fix would be so easy and we could get more adventures in her dimension!)

Even acknowledging all that, though, there were still attempts at creativity that just, for one reason or another, didn't pan out. There's significant potential here.

Forces is just. . . a mess. In every sense. And I understand how a mess can be attractive to a fandom, because a mess means you can take whatever you want from it and organize things however you choose.

But a mess that's sold as a finished game is not the same as a rushed title with visible untapped potential.

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

I do think that the message in haikyuu of like "nobody can play this game alone, you're part of a team and you have to rely on each other to do the things YOU CANT do alone, we all have limits but with the right tools/techniques/help from friends, we can still soar to great heights" is surprisingly motivating for someone with physical disabilities (as in, me) bc it's not just the usual "IF YOU WORK HARD YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, PUSH PAST THE LIMITS EVEN IF IT HURTS" kind of message a lot of similar series have...

Like, I physically cannot push past my limits, I can seriously and permanently injure myself if I force my joints to do more than they're capable of, and I'd prefer to be semi-functional for as long as possible, thanks...

It's the same advice people without physical disabilities give you when it comes to... Well, anything. "Just try hard, the only thing holding you back is you!!" Yeah my fuck ass joints that won't let me move my hand a certain way without intense pain...

I know my disabilities aren't the absolute worst, there's people who have it a whole lot harder AND still manage to push themselves harder than I do, I'll never deny that! But my issues do still certainly DISABLE me, I can barely use my dominant hand lately (I can only do things like draw for a lil while without pain, despite practically living in a wrist brace, and stretching just causes MORE pain...) and my stomach issues rule my life most of the time, keeping me home most days and sometimes in bed if it gets bad enough,

and idk just... I think haikyuu has a pretty healthy (comparatively at least) approach to like... Becoming your best self. Nobody can become their best left with no support... Nobody can push past their limits without people to help carry that border and help get them there. Not healthily anyway...

I just really love this series, it makes me happy and introduced me to one of my favorite things (I fucking LOVE volleyball now, I don't get the chance to watch it often but when I do it certainly does make me feel like GWAAHHHH)

[blackknightax]

Today we’re off the third party titles. I had been avoiding discussing and adding a sword character up to this point but one might think this franchise will force me to do so due to how many this franchise has added. That’s right, we’re discussing Fire Emblem or as I like to call it because I’m stupid, Fire Embalm. Fire Emblem has provided Smash a LOT of characters who’s only gimmick is “i have a sword and that makes me cool.” Marth, Ike, Roy, Lucina, Robin, Corrin, Chrom, and Byleth is a whole bunch characters. I have the opinion, that 3 of these characters are INCREDIBLY redundant and are the reason “sword character” is a bit of an insult in this fandom. For those curious, I refer to Roy, Chorm and especially Lucina, i’m sorry Lucina fans, but Lucina is Marth but without his gimmick. I’ve come to call these characters the “super Marth-io brothers” because once again, I’m stupid.

As a result of the negative reputation Fire Emblem characters have in this fandom, the requests this franchise tends to get are, don’t add more or remove this character because I hate them. That being said, Fire Emblem is a very beloved franchise with VERY beloved characters. In my opinion the Fire Emblem characters have one giant issue, they don’t utitlze how actually clever the fire emblem games are mechanically. For those who don’t know, one of Fire Emblem’s main mechanics is what is known as the weapon triangle. It works as thus, swords are more accurate and deal more damage if the enemy is using an ax but are less accurate and deal less damage to enemies wielding spears/lances, then ax beats lance is weak to sword, lance beats sword and is weak to ax. And until Byleth, the other weapons had not been even referenced. SO i want to give the next Fire Emblem character a different weapon. So I’ve chosen in a very very very biased choice

I’ve chosen, gasp, a knight with an ax, I’ve chosen Hector. One of the three lords in FIre Emblem, 7, a prequel to Fire Emblem 6 the game Roy is from. I just wanted a character with a battle ax, i know, big shocker, a guy who’s name features the word Ax wants an ax fighter. That being said, I do have a kinda cool idea for a move set. So in Fire Emblem there are several kinds of every weapon type. I think this should function as Hector’s gimmick. This gimmick was inspired by watching a streamer play a fire emblem game, he gives all the axes in the entire game to Hector because Hector was the only ax user he was using. For example for his jab he uses the “brave ax” an ax that allows users to attack twice at a time, 4 times if you outspeed them enough. Now let’s do the special moves.

For his Neutral B he pulls out a hand ax and throws it as a projectile, it functions as a boomerang just as it does in the game. When used in the air he throws it at a downward angle. It hits twice, once forward once coming back with both hits functioning to get the enemy closer to him.

For Up B he spins his ax and slowly flies up. As random as this is, when he gets a critical hit while wielding the legendary ax he spins his ax and flies very briefly. So it’s a reference. It’s not a clever move, just a good reference.

For Side B, I can’t come up with anything more clever than him pulling out the hammer and spinning towards the enemy or something.

For Down B he does a counter but in a different way. Rather than blocking with his ax he just takes the hit with his armor. Then he counter attacks like you’d expect.

Fire emblem characters are all, kinda the same weight. Hector would be the exception, he should feel like a heavy like Bowser and King Dedede. Having super armor in various places in his moves especially his smash attacks which would be the steel axe.

All in all, I really like this idea i have for Hector. He’s probably my favorite fire emblem main character (i know he’s not but he is to me). I need to play that game and i can on the switch. Anyhow I just want an ax fighter but there should be a lance fighter as well.

I don’t have a conclusion this time around. But i hope a character like Hector would help the reputation of Fire Emblem characters in smash.

[weirdcultstuff]

It’s like my skin has hardened around me now. If I focus on the bills, on my work, on lunch, on going for a walk, on watching a scary movie, on not thinking about it all, then I’m fine. I used to be hyper vigilant, couldn’t sit with my back to a door, couldn’t talk to men, had to wear this one specific hoodie and hat if I left the house. I felt strong joy often, and intense pain and shame and grief.

I’m not like that anymore. Now I’m a normal automaton. I feel good for a few hours at least, most days. Mornings are good usually, about ten am maybe? When I’m right in the thick of things at work. I’m having trouble sleeping again, I’ll wake up at midnight, then three am, then four thirty, then five. When my alarm goes off at six I’m not awake, it’s like I’m lazy and don’t want to get up but I also just don’t care that I want to stay in bed, so I don’t. I get up, get dressed, drink water, go to work.

I worry about normal things, and it is worry. I feel that anxious feeling in my chest when I think about bills, my career, fixing the car, going to the doctor. It’s like a micro dose of dread every few hours. I try not to think about it. And mostly I’m fine. I can think to myself, “my heart rate sped up, it’s probably the coffee. Just wait it out. Play a different podcast, take some breaths, it’ll pass.” And it does.

I get angry now, which is frickin weird. I have a short temper, not on the outside-I don’t act angry, I’m not mean to my coworkers or anything, but I feel anger in my head every few days when something happens that really slows me down or gets in my way, annoys me. My vision does that little skippy thing and I always want to roll my eyes at myself for being such a child about things.

And the rest of the time I’m fine. Normal. I’m not depressed. I eat my vegetables, I watch shows with my girlfriend, I go to work every single day except the weekends and on the weekends I rest and do chores around the house.

I worry about my parents now, they’re getting older. I can see it in their texts in the family chat. More health issues, more mishaps. My grandparents are getting too old, maybe I’ll never see them again? I teared up just typing that. Mostly I don’t think about them all, and that’s very intentional. I’ll sob cry if I do, and it won’t stop for a long time. It never resolves, I don’t feel better afterwards, I’ve done the therapy things and I’ve written it out and I’ve tried just crying until I wear out but those things don’t work. There’s no way to fix it, so I just don’t go there. I text them back about once a week, and that’s about it. Just send cropped photos of my life. Here’s some food I ate, here’s a picture of a tree, what’s the weather like there? (Please don’t die.)

Enough thinking about that.

Mostly I’m very normal now. It’s weird when I run into people who are Christian or one of my siblings says something super fundamentalist Christian online. It’s like, “oh yeah, people still believe that stuff. They actually believe it, it’s not just a story or a game. Weird.” And then I feel disconnected from them. I used to feel connected, like I understood where they were coming from and could relate to them even if I was somewhere else. Now I just feel somewhere else. I’m like, “that’s weird of you to praise god that you didn’t get more hurt than you just did. Also very weird to be talking seriously about having children before you’re even twenty. But okay. Couldn’t be me lol.” But like it was me once, I was like that. It just doesn’t feel like it anymore. If I go there in my mind, I probably won’t function anymore. And functioning is all there is, in the end. So I function.

I’m always functioning and it feels like each day is just a repeat. It’s fall though, time passes. Wild. Anyway, this whole post looks kind of bleak but I promise most of the time I don’t feel bleak. Most of the time I feel good, some of the time I feel anxious, every few days I get impatient over something which makes me feel angry, and occasionally I have a crying spell because I think too much about my family. That’s pretty much all that happens. And I’ve been doing a lot of listening to horror podcasts and not texting my friends back. So that’s fun.

[kalisbaby]

My mom's in the ER with my sister because her (mom) sugar went up. And she hasn't been taking her medications or her insulin or gotten a new PCP after her old one suddenly up and closed his business. (Like deadass they scheduled an appointment for her and when she went they were shut down. No notices, no calls, no nothing!)

So both me and my sister are beyond frustrated and upset because she legit isn't taking care of her health and she will sit around all day in her phone and like not eat anything until one of us comes in the room and asks us to make her something. And that could be HOURS! And no matter how much I tell her to stop fasting she still does it cuz "God told her to" and not to question her faith or relationship with God but...fasting for over a year (or two idk how long at this point) for HOURS every. single. day. when you have a major health issue is ridiculous. I'm sure God didn't want her to maintain it for that long especially one where she doesn't pray or anything. She just like...watches TV and plays on her damn phone so, ma'am!, what kinda fast???

Anyway, I'm digressing.

THE POINT IS I need her to care for herself. Like I NEED her to want to do it for herself. I've said this time and time again, like it's a bad song on repeat at this point, but I cannot take care of her for herself.

I can make her meals but I can't make her eat them. I can sort out her medicines but I can't make her take them. I can see her appointments but I can't make her go to them or tell the truth while at them (a problem I also had with my dad btw. He just would not tell his doctor everything and I would be like, "Are you fr right now???" At one point the doctor just talked directly to me because my dad was acting like everything was fucking fine when it WASN'T!).

And I feel like my mom thinks we're SUPPOSED to care for her because she, and I quote, "did it for [her] mother" and yeah I get that. And honestly, I have no problems doing for my mother, but my grandmother also did for herself. When she needed help she asked for it but she was very much able to tend to her own needs up until the last few years of her life when her health deteriorated to the point where additional assistance was mandatory and we ALL helped then. (I legit flunked out of the second half of my first year of college to help my mom take care of my grandma and I still don't regret it to this day. It was a joy to care for her and to be with her in those last few months of her life.)

But my mom still has a lot of her mobility and functioning and I get that she's tired after nursing three children, two elderly parents, a husband, not to mention her actual nursing job, but I don't like her not trying. Like for HERSELF. It often feels like she's just like, "why do I have to do this when I have daughters?"

And it's like, we won't always be here. I'm here now but what about in the future? I wanna live more! I haven't even done an iota of and iota of what I want to do. And I get it, that's on me. Those are my choices and I accept them but it wouldn't be fair for me to never even try because I have to stay home and build my life around caretaking my mother while she's still relatively young and able bodied. Like if she wasn't then this wouldn't really be a discussion. I would have my frustrations,.for sure, but I would deal with them because I know my mother couldn't do for herself. But knowing that she CAN but just often WON'T??? That's a whole nother thing. A WHOLE nother thing.

I just...

I think about how ppl have repeatedly told me "there's always one that stays behind" meaning there's always a child that stays and takes care of the aging parents. And that one was my mother and I despise that saying for a plethora of reasons but mainly because people say it to me like "give up your dreams, your hopes, your goals because your life is already decided and it's taking care of your mother at the expense of everything else." It makes me bitter. And I don't deserve that. My mother doesn't deserve that.

She deserves to live her old age in peace as comfort and joy. And I deserve to live the last embers of my youth the same.

But how I do that if people are pre-determining my life to be built around someone else? Especially at the expense of the small facet of happiness I managed to eek out for myself? What cruelty!

And I still want children some day. So am I only meant to care for others and leave no care for myself??? Idk the answer to this but what I DO know is, I need my mother to get it together. To care enough about the rest of her life to want to actively live it and not just lie around wasting it away waiting for me or someone to do the very basic of shit for her.

I need her to care enough for herself. I can't do it for the both of us. I just can't. Something will eventually have to give and I fear when that time comes because I'm nto sure of what choice I'll make and I'd hate for it to be me at the risk of harming her. If that makes any sense.

I just want her to care. That's all. Just care about yourself, mommy. Love yourself enough to try. PLEASE! For the love of God, please!

[twilight-resonance]

Seawater Sick

This whole “being sick” thing is reminding me that we really are just fancy bipedal fish that need to be generally kept wet at all times. When you’re not sick, you generally remember that your eyes need to stay wet; but really it’s also your nose and your mouth and your gullet and all the squishy parts inside. Water alone won’t do it either, no; if you drink too much plain water it starts to burn in ways that start you wondering whether that’s what holy water is supposed to feel like to the living dead. No, you need salt water - broth - because we once came from the sea. And now you’re sick, and now you remember.

Anyway, it’s not that bad. This is only the second time I’ve been sick since the pandemic, and it’s definitely just a bit of a cold. Snuffling, a low-grade fever, the faintest hint of aches. But mostly the snuffling. We went through a whole box of tissues between the two of us yesterday. It’s on the way out for both of us - Hearthsnail’s a day, maybe a day and a half ahead of me since he got it first. I suppose it’s nice to have the overlapping-but-not-identical sick periods if we’ve got to be sick at all, because it means that at least one of us is functional at a given moment and can take care of the other. It was a bit all-encompassing the way that sick does during the worst of it, but seriously for the most part it’s been very mild. 

Made some progress on catering. Sent messages to three more caterers yesterday, and two of them have responded saying they’re available and can drive that far. Third hasn’t responded yet, but there’s still plenty of time. Now comes the part where we have to actually figure out what we’re going to make... Which will be an adventure. So far we’ve possibly come up with the idea of cauliflower sliders, and I want to do strawberry-basil or blackberry lemonade. Otherwise... well, we’ll see.

Playing saboteur right now with the various board game arena folks. It’s nice having that sort of mastery at something. I tend to find with board game arena games you have to be watching what happens to keep up with it, because the interface isn’t always clear; but I remember finding at some point - probably during COVID - that I was able to keep tabs on what was happening in a given saboteur game just from the log, and that’s even with all the signaling that goes on in that game. Or at least with the way it gets played there. So right now I’m enjoying tabbing back and forth between that and writing, because that’s one of the few things I can do that with.

It’s a nice day out. It looks and feels like a day that’s summer turning into autumn rather than spring into summer... All dim and overcast, and just the tiniest little winds ruffling the trees. Feels like home. It must not just be the changing of the seasons, then, that gets me - but change of the seasons, if that makes sense. A disruption in the normal pattern. Always gets my creative juices flowing and helps me get a leg over on the will to do something with it. 

Had a thought about RPGs earlier, or more specifically what makes them work for me or not. We’re playing in Hearthsnail’s BIL’s game right now, and on the one hand it’s really nice to be playing something at all rather than GMing; but on the other hand, there’s an itch it’s really not scratching for me. One part is the roleplay element - I want deeper roleplay than we’ve been doing, but that’s not going to happen - group size, medium, etc. I concluded some days ago, though, that the main issue is actually game world depth. More even than character RP, I really want a world that I can sink into and inhabit and get to know over the course of years. Which is not going to happen with BIL as GM, because he likes to switch up worlds and settings fairly often, and that’s just a fundamental conflict that will always be present. It’s a good thing to know in general, though, and as I said, it’s nice to be playing anything at all. (I wandered off and started to work on other things, so I’m going to take that as a sign and end this now. Anyway, this is Sick Edition TM.)

[slayerfruit]

(DISCLAIMER: Cott’s personality has not been heavily documented! Writer interpretation is IN PLAY and is TERRIBLY INDULGENT AND I’M MAKING YOU SEE IT. THIS ANON POST INCLUDES FAIL[GENDER NEUTRAL] POV. And like. Body hair. transGirl-dick (epic). HONKERS (little bit). Minor Anal sex. (excessive?) Burping. Weight Gain too. A bizarre combination of the first and last thing. I’m so sorry. Your candy duo is my current hyper-fixation. I will not bear it in silence.)

----------------

There’s a pass underneath your seat.

This is not the first time you’ve come to one of these shows, nor have you shown up to every one. The signal for a show being almost ready is pretty subtle, given the show-runners less than legal activities, and so you often miss the performance days. Still, you try to come every chance you get. The duo is genuinely pretty funny. And uh... Quite good looking too, even when they aren’t actively emphasizing it by doing more sensual acts.

This isn’t one of those acts. This one’s straight comedy, all clean and natural as can be in this OSHA-defying carnival, and you’ve got a pass underneath your seat. Your seat is the important part. This place, as obscurity is a necessity in the now, isn’t really… packed. Anyone is free to sit anywhere, and there are a good number of seats to pick from, most in pretty good condition. You sit on the third row, middle column, 3 seats to the left. Every. Time. And there’s a pass underneath your seat.

You pick it up. You are the only one in this particular row of seats, and so you see no issue in taking a closer look at it, putting the actual show aside for a moment. A red/pink gradient card, VIP BACKSTAGE on it’s front in bright, yellow letters. You turn it over and feel your face flush crimson as you are faced with a surprisingly well made portrait of Cottol.ine giving a thumbs up as several thoughts cycle:

She’s naked.

She doesn’t even fit in the card frame.

You are almost certain she drew this herself. It’s also got your name on it.

You quickly stuff the card into a jacket pocket so to hide it. You… HAD heard about these prior, although none of the people who got them ever gave anything but a smile and an unwavering front to anyone who wanted to know about what they were about, or why they showed up late to their apartments with sugar coating their lips. It might be a sex thing. Maybe not. Again, only people who have received them before know and they won’t say anything.

The show continues, and you do try to actually watch the show you came here to see. The pass feels like red coals in your pocket though, burning with your curiosity as you wonder what you are in for after the show concludes. What could it be? Why you?

The show doesn’t take too much longer to conclude, and with a little flourish Cand.yman slides back and swishs the curtains shut with a twist of his wrist. The spotlights flicker and dim as the functioning walkway LEDs light the way out of the main stage.

The first act has closed.

(/Cheeky) > Y/N: Begin Act 2.

You are! You’ve just got to manifest the courage to actually. Step through the Backstage doors? There’s nobody else around right now, the end of the show prompting an easy exit from everyone else. You are alone.

...But probably not for long. You psych yourself up the best you can and push open the doors, noting that these have actually been oiled as to remain silent. You gently lead the doors shut, now standing on the other side. You’ve got a choice now between two doors. Two nameplates. Cand.yman or Cottol.ine? …..You would feel like an asshole if you opened Cand.y’s door first while having a pass with Cottol.ine on it, so this is a really easy decision. You grab the door handle- and fall flat on your face as the door swings open, having never been closed. You hear a slight gasp from overhead as your body meets wood and proceeds to commune in the language of mild pain.

“Oh my goodness! Are you okay?” A soft yet chipper voice somewhat tinted with worry says, one that you could not possible put to anyone except the sugar lady herself. You flick a thumbs up in the direction the voice came from and shake out a general reassurance before pushing yourself up on your knees- and freezing at the sight that awaits you.

You… okay. Everyone has some theories on how it is that the candy performers can adjust size, body type, parts… you were not quite prepared to see Cottol.ine just. Lying on a cushion. Swallowing from a tube. A tube connected to a tank simply labeled “Sugar”. A few grains slip from her lips and onto her sleeves as her cheeks bulge before she gulps it down, still looking at you as it seems to go down her throat- and then, soon as it would have hit the stomach, Cottol.ine’s thin show-body starts to lose that thinness.

You watch her, amazed as takes another full mouthful of sugar.

Gulp. Gulp. Gulp…

And swallows again, causing her whole body to plump up. The blueish-yellow leggings she is wearing push down as her legs and thighs as to emulate the example being set by her ass, which is taking a nice swig of fresh air out from under her current polka-dot dress. Her stomach, still covered, begins to show itself in a curve under the dress as her breasts push out themselves, nipples visible through the bra as they make themselves very apparent.

Another. Another. Another. She reaches down to briefly remove her shoes before tugging her leggings off, putting them aside just as her legs thicken out again. Her dress decides that attempting to hide this ladies gut is a lost cause, and simply elevates itself to reveal a now pudgy midriff, adorned with a multitude of soft white hairs. Having given up covering her lower half too, you can now catch a clear glimpse of solid, heavy girl-bulge as her underwear is pulled tight from her widening backside. Her breasts, until now still a suggestion, burst from under the hidden bra with a SnnnnRCK as they flop freely against the now barely worn dress.

She holds up a finger, silencing the nonexistent things you had to say about this situation as she goes through just a little more.

GULP. GULP. GULP…

One more decisive swallow, a flick of a nearby switch to “off”, and Cottol.ine quickly reaches down and yanks the dress up fully over her boobs- just as they flop down and smack against her gut, surpassing “head” and making their way confidently towards proper “melon” size. Said gut takes a jaunt over her thickening thighs, and threatens (but could never succeed) at obscuring her thickening girlcock, forming a delicious fuzzy overhang over her thighs. If you had any mental ram left, you might comment on her ass wobbling back there too. As it stands, you are currently soft rebooting instead. She takes the opportunity to remove the hose from her mouth, hooking it onto a nearby- well. Hook, before refocusing on your dumbfounded expression that you are sure makes you look sufficiently foolish. She opens her mouth and says “Welcome to the-” before her cheeks bulge out and she lets out a HwOOooooooourp. “Oops! Sorry. Welcome to the VIP Treatment!”

> Y/N: For your own sanity (and the reader’s frustration), take an Intermission.

In an effort to dislodge some of the awkward tension that you don’t think anyone other than you is currently experiencing, you open your mouth and blurt the first reasonable question that comes to mind: “Do you spend a lot of time back here chugging raw sugar by yourself?”

...You quickly fight an extremely strong urge to walk out of the room and obliterate yourself at a nearby alien obelisk. She doesn’t seem to be offended though. “It’s not preferred, but it works! The fun way is to just indulge yourself in sweets and well crafted food and laze about for weeks- but for shows that takes a little too much- HwwWooourp -time. Sugar accomplishes the same thing for us candy-made entities that lard would do for you! ...Without the awful taste, of course.”

She reaches down and grips a bit of gut in her hands, shaking it and wobbling her entire fuzzy gut. “This body proportion is just a little bit more… comfortable for me right now. Normally I’d ask if you want something else- But.” She looks you dead in the eyes (as well as someone who’s eyes are theoretical can). “I really think I know the answer to that one already.” You feel like a tomato. It’s probably written everywhere what your answer is. She isn’t quite smug, but there is a self-assurance and calm there that leads you close the door behind you and ask your other question:

“Why me?”

Cottol.ine smiles a little. “It’s really not that complicated. You are cute!” She pauses for a moment and adds “If you are talking about how we choose generally, we just fill a hat with the name of every person who showed up to the show who is our respective types and isn’t transphobic and pull one out.”

Honestly, so valid.

> Y/N: Please just get to the horny. This is going to be such a long post. WE ARE REACHING 4 ACTS IN A ANON ASK. P L E A S E

Fine. You steel yourself. You are going to ask for something enjoyable and not weird. Sex would be good. A typical request. Yeah. Alright. You open your mouth-

“Can I lick your belly fuzz?” FUCK DAMN IT WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT THIS

“Sure!” She answers easily, cutting your mental chatter into silence. “Would you like a certain flavor? I’ve got a variety of options for this kind of thing.” She brings herself to her feet and thuds herself over to a wall-mounted cabinet, pulling it open to reveal a variety of flavored syrups. You feel a little dumbfounded. This is not unusual. You point out an orange cream-sickle flavor to her and she takes it into one hand and makes her way over to you- before tripping over her leftmost-left foot and planting her gut navel-first on your face. Your are now submerged in belly blubber.

BwoOOOOooooouurp. “Whoops! You alright down there?” You mumble something that sounds affirmative and probably reflects too much of your personal feelings. “Good! Well. Don’t see any reason to get up then!~” You hear a cap being faintly unscrewed before gulping follows, the slight movements of even swallowing causing her gut to shake around your head. Before long, something tickles against your cheeks, and then the other, and then everywhere. She pulls back just enough from the wall to let you see: Her belly is quickly growing orange, fuzzy hair, framing the white hairs from before in a hairy circle as she finishes the syrup and tosses it at a wall (it bounces into a trashcan), letting another BwhooOOoourp-HwooORRP!! directly out at your face in a citrus, sugary cloud. You blink a little. This will never leave your mind.

“SoOooooooOOOurp. Have a taste! It’s all yours!” She wobbles it enticingly at you. At this point, what’s the point in even pretending you do not want to do this? You collide tongue to gut, trying for an area less fuzzy. It tastes… well. Like sugar. You swish your tongue around in the same spot, and realize you can just. Kinda lick anywhere and taste sugar? Exploring, you lick a strip upwards from the navel and meet the white hairs head on.

...Vanilla! You lap all around the navel with this info in mind. This stuff is actually really good. The way the flavor melts in your mouth is so pleasant, you can almost forget you are flicking your tongue out at somebodies gut! Actually, speaking about somebody, you pull back to ask if this is alright- and receive a hand planted on your head immediately. “Shh.” She tells you. “Don’t woOooourprry about it. This is fun.” She’s smiling. Her fingers brush against the back of your head.

...You move your head back down and continue. You drift out from the white section and into the jungle of orange beyond. You make contact- and moan into her fatty middle. That’s so good. This is everything you hoped this would taste like. You flick your tongue around madly, smushing your face into her gut. She giggles overhead, hand brushing over your head as you clear slowly regening hair as if possessed. “Are you having fun there?” She asks you, reaching another hand past her gut and grabbing yours.

...Yours? Her hand on your head incentives you to continue, but you were flat as a board everywhere an hour ago. She traces a finger over a navel of your own (your own!?) and pushes her finger in. As you collide with a new bit of hair to your left, you feel it: Her finger, unmoving, is enveloped. She says in a tone that makes it obvious she’s smiling wide: “I don’t think many people realize what being ‘made of candy’ really means. Would you like to hear a hint?” You murmur a yes into her body.

“You are going to get fat. You are going to lick until yoOOOoouurrpu either retract consent, are too tired to continue, are too big to continue, or I run out of syrup to keep this up. BWOourp.” She pinches your sideflab a little, making you jolt as her words sink in. This is not where you thought this was going, but. But.

...You start licking again, faster in lieu of giving an actual response. Now that you’ve been made aware, you can feel the way your body is padding out as sugary hair dissolves against your tongue. The hand on your head trails down and brushes against your cheek, taking a fingerful of newly acquired fat. You feel your own belly push out, pushing out over your clothes and colliding against her own, still much larger belly. You feel your ass press against the wall behind you, and then spread along it slowly as you swipe across the vast pastures of her hairy fields.

She presses her hand lower hand firmly against your gut, and you note with a tinge of delight that it takes almost no time at all for her hand to be forced backwards, the distance you have to lean forward to get at her gut with your tongue unfortunately not going backwards. You feel your head collide with the beginnings of another chin (how novel!) as you try to lean forwards- but find the task to be too difficult. You try to vocalize, but only let out a desperate whine instead. Cottol.ine takes pity on you, pushing herself to her feet and leaning her gut directly into you and allowing you to continue.

Swish. Flick. You can’t see with her middle coating your vision, but you can certainly feel. You feel your ass pushing you a little out from the wall now, maybe around the range of beach balls if you tried to guess. Your gut flows, and then flows further over itself. It makes impact with something- something that you are almost certain is her dick, fully ready and pressed idly against you. You are too ravenous to care too much- up until something terrible occurs:

Your tongue meets nothing. You’ve exhausted the syrup. As your motions cease, she pulls away from the wall and shows that your assumption is correct, there isn’t a single remaining hair on her entire gut. She turns around and checks it herself in the back mirror before swinging back around and crouching in front of you, almost starry eyed as she exclaims “You did it! Look at you!”, grabbing two chubby cheeks and continuing with “That was a hell of a show! You were a wreck when you came in- and now look at you! This work is allll yours!” She looks you over, and a little slyly adds “Although, you might need some help if you wanna work it off.”

By this point though, you are far away from the future where you have to work all of this off. Right now you are in the present- the present where you are now very optimistic that you can get her dick in your ass. You muscle up all your strength and, shockingly, push your wobbling, sugar-flab body to a stand, step forward towards the bed- and comically trip, falling directly on your gut and eliciting a BwooOOoooooourp! of your own as your belly is squished against the ground. Now faced with the knowledge that you probably can’t get up again, you shake your ass at her and hope that works as substitute for talking.

Apparently it does, because you hear the sound of cloth being moved aside as her freed dick smacks against your thigh. She remains still for a moment though. “I wasn’t kidding when I said ALL of me is candy. Are you sure you want me to do this?” She asks, sounding a little worried for you even as her dick pushes into your legs. You think about it. Really think about it.

You shakily force your chonky arm into a thumbs up.

She grips hold of your ass, pulls herself up- and thrusts in. It takes a moment for it to enter you proper, even at her current size your ass makes for a hefty distance to travel, but once it does you huff as the sensation hits you- and then fails to go any further.

...You aren’t sure why you thought she would be able to properly penetrate you like that. Even still, as her body claps against yours, your buried [SEXUAL OBJECT OF CHOICE] begins to quiver. Even without proper penetration your body is being stimulated by the wobbling of your own lard. Your body flushes as you orgasm. She’s isn’t too far behind- pushing in one more time and

FLOODING

Your insides with a squeak. You feel something enter your backdoor, but much like the very beginning of this whole situation, you realize it’s being converted almost instantly! You feel her dick, still pulsing into your ass, get further and further away as your ass flows outward and taps the ceiling. She bounces onto your gut as it balloons out in all directions before pancaking back down onto the floor, putting you halfway from the ceiling with your gut pushing against all the walls.

...There is a mild possibility you won’t be leaving this room for a while without some serious antics.

[Curtains close on the scene, a hand coming out to grab them before they can finish. Cand.yman himself comes forward. Slips a sign on the curtain, and lets them shut proper. The sign reads:

“2/10, didn’t get enough screen-time over my SIDEKICK.”]

i. gdxfhbmklghndgvxhbdgmklcvxhbmkl oh my God. im at a loss for words here!!! this is extremely generous of you and i thank you so much for this,, im Completely in love with this and is Absolutely one for the books

[rainneverstopped]

July 29th 2024, 4:30pm

Another day of intense grief, guilt, confusion and so much sadness because you don’t belong and need love that never, ever comes. I woke up so tired today for no reason and I wasn’t sure I would be able to function. The constant sleepiness is becoming a daily thing. I’m scared of having moments of calm because I don’t want to be magically punished for them later. I miss having weeks where I felt all right and had fun. When did it become this fucking helpless?. The worst part is everyone’s unwillingness to see any of this as a serious issue. I did have a very good session with my psychiatrist on Saturday. I don’t want to flatter myself by thinking I’m important enough for him to give me an emergency session (I sent him an upsetting message while having a crying fit) maybe he just works on Saturdays but it was so nice regardless. I felt heard which is rare, I felt ok for a moment. Of course in true “me” fashion I asked him if he disliked me and he laughed and said he didn’t dislike his patients. I figured it would be better to ask than to wonder like I always do. I walk down the street and feel like I’m witnessing some kind of theater play where everyone is “in” and I’m kinda there watching. It feels like being somewhere where I’m not supposed to be. Like going to a foreign country except that it’s not fun or positive or constructive in any way and no part of my soul feels nourished. If anything it feels drained. This is particularly funny because at the same time I constantly feel I’m putting on a show and pretending to be human and I’m pretty sure most people just exist and leave it at that, they don’t have to spend hours wondering how to react or behave. Cried myself to sleep yesterday because I got attached to someone (not romantically) that is not in my life and now I miss him and cry desperately whenever I feel alone or just in general. I feel asleep and had some weird sleep paralysis where I could breathe (I generally can’t during sleep paralysis) but couldn’t move and I kept hearing construction like noises and voices of people yelling and calling my name. I would struggle to wake up and felt scared for my life and kept thinking I needed to walk to the window and check that everything was all right but couldn’t get my body to stand up and as soon as I opened my eyes and tried to snap out of it, they would close again and I would drift into this half asleep state where it would continue. I was terrified. Whenever I opened my eyes the voices would dim a little bit they were still there. Eventually I managed to fully wake up by moving my toes around and got up and checked at the window and the voices went away, it was deserted outside. I stayed up a bit with my phone because if I go straight back to sleep it usually just happens again. It’s like my brain needs to reset before I keep on sleeping. I went to sleep after a while. Today at the subway there was a woman who was selling pens and stationary because she was hospitalized and on disability benefits. She was schizophrenic and the hospital had allowed her to leave for the propose of selling those things to cover for the cost of her soap, toothpaste, shampoo, ect. Apparently the government doesn’t cover those things and it has to come out of her own pocket. What kind of evil, gross hellscape are we existing in?. I want to opt out. Tired of my country, tired of waking up, tired of the dark, dark sadness of it all and the constant, debilitating fear that doesn’t even let me enjoy reading a fucking book. Living should be reserved for the most horrible of humanoid monsters, nobody else deserves this perpetual panic. I hope nothing bad happens to me. I know I have it good in many ways but I wish I could spend the rest of my life crying in somebody’s arms, heavily sedated.

Edit: I noticed I sometimes write “you” instead of “I” when talking about myself. I usually core t it but I’ll leave it because it’s interesting to me and I should probably think why that is.

[oldsoulintrovert]

2022.12.31

It's the last day of the year...again. In less than 12 hours, it will be 2023 and a few days after that, I'll be turning 31 years old. How time flies. I still feel like it's 2020 and I'm still 28 with so much plans that all dissipated into the air.

How did I spend my 30th year? Just like how I spent the previous 10 years—unemployed. I still don't know how to drive, still don't know what to do with my life, still feeling insecure and useless.

What are my achievements this year? I got back into reading. I am currently finishing my 100th book this year. I also took the Civil Service Exam last August 7 and passed with an average of 87.72 which made me proud of myself a little. I was able to buy a new tablet with my own savings from the interest I earned from the gadgets my mom sold in installment basis payment. I was able to tithe 10 percent of my earnings which amounted to a couple of thousands in total. I have felt a little less useless as I help clean my parents' room where I'm still staying. I have also started to take care of two plants: a succulent given by Trixie from a baby shower and the indoor plant my mom bought. Those are my small victories this year and I hope to have more next year.

What are the changes this year?

The balcony has been turned into a room where we eat our meals everyday. We can no longer watch TV while eating but we almost not watch anything since I went back to my reading groove.

BTS announcing their military enlistment after their Busan concert last October 15 in an effort to support the city's bid for the World Expo 2030 as the official ambassadors. This December 13 at 1PM KST, Seokjin has officially started his mandatory military service training.

Lesly left for Canada this December and will be a working student, taking up a Human Resource course for a year. In her letter, she promised the immigration that she will come back after her studies but I doubt she will before securing a job first. It makes me sad that almost all of my friends are away now but I'm glad they are living a good life.

Tita Neneng coming home from Italy for good. She arrived with Tita Lou last November 6 and will no longer be returning abroad while Tita Lou leaves in the early months of 2023.

I have started using Libby and have borrowed tons of books already. As a result, I mostly read on Kindle these last few weeks instead of Play Books.

Disney+ is finally available in the Philippines starting November 17. I purchased a 1 year subscription through GCASH for a discounted price and shared the account with 3 others from Twitter.

I have decided to stay away from milk because I have noticed how it exacerbates my skin issue which I assume to be granuloma annulare and so far, I have not seen a new one grow.

My Dad and I are no longer eating rice for breakfast. It started when he incorporated Glucerna into his diet. He is also now eating red rice instead of white. The last time we checked a couple of days ago, his blood sugar level is down to 178. I believe with exercise, it will lower down even more.

Lastly, the change of certainty with regard to my Dad's eyes' condition. As per the Doctor, his right eye is the only one functioning now and unfortunately, an operation will not be able to help. He is now taking Doxium, a calcium dobesilate to help ease eye pressure, three times a day but the good news is, we have the GREATEST PHYSICIAN in our side and with faith, all things are possible with HIM. A miracle is as close as saying the name of JESUS.

In the latest vlog of Yoongi, he said that he has desired to learn many things as he reached the age of 30 and so, I will endeavor to dabble on many things next year. As I am at the bottom now, there is no other place to go but up.

[fkinavocado]

In which you’ve got textbook daddy issues and when your tool of a younger brother brings a sweet doe eyed girlfriend home for Thanksgiving and you end up offering her a ride home, you meet just the man to fix them.

Daddy issues- Masterlist, Author’s Note & Warnings

Chapter 4 / alternatively, read on wattpad

Chapter 5 (Word count: 5K)

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about” you turned to look at him innocently, but nothing could’ve prepared you for the absolutely filthy look he was giving you.

“Hm” he scoffed “No need for that, Y/N. We’ve already established you’re a liar.” He approached you menacingly, arms behind his back and you couldn’t help but back off until you were plastered against the hallway wall and his tall frame was hovering over you.

“How- how am I a liar?” you stammered. You just couldn’t help it.

“You promised you’d be here when I woke up” he raised his eyebrows, a serene look on his face as if stating a fact

“And I was” you deadpanned “You were just having your afternoon siesta. And if anything, between the two of us, you’re the liar!”

A smirk was tugging at the corner of his lips even though he was still frowning at you “Is that so?”

You shoved your arm into your oversized handbag without breaking eye contact with him, scavenging for the soft lace. You finally pulled the panties out, holding them eye level between the two of you “These, dear sir, are not yours”

He didn’t even look at them, not wanting to break eye contact with you either. He just bit his lower lip in addition to crossing his arms over his chest now, his smirk deepening.

You raised your eyebrows, mimicking his earlier expression, waiting for his retort but he then made a sudden move and effectively grabbed the panties away from you. You scoffed in disbelief watching him slowly place them in his backpocket, your mouth agape

“Which leads us to another lie you told. Kindly remind me how that mawkish little story of yours went… all about how you forgot your panties in my en suite”

He even airquoted. How very hip of you, Mr. Styles. Also, you made a mental note of googling “mawkish” later on, but you were pretty sure it wasn’t anything too flattering.

You squinted your eyes at him “What are you implying?”

“Oh, I’m not implying. I’m stating a fact”

“Which is...?” you asked, impatiently

“That you left them there intentionally, of course” his smirk was on full display now, he was quite pleased with himself, the cocky bastard. The nerve!

You stared at him in disbelief “I can’t tell whether you’re pulling my leg right now, to be frank” you decided to tell it how it was. Because, for all you knew, he could’ve been just messing with you this whole time. And the last thing you wanted was to make a fool of yourself. Again.

There was a silent moment that seemed to go on forever, but in reality it was just a few seconds of intense staring. “Want me to make it clear for you?” he asked in a low voice, his eyes finally breaking eye contact only to land on your lips, and suddenly they felt foreign on your own face. The way he was looking at them made you feel lightheaded, and you always used to think that that was just a cheap exaggeration. Not anymore.

“Yes” you nearly whispered, but you felt like shouting it at the top of your lungs. The anticipation was killing you. Realization was slowly hitting you, but your mind refused to process it, not yet, not until he made it crystal clear.

“Good, ‘cause ’m done playing games with you” he said as he closed the space between you, not wasting a single second after having heard your answer. Before you could even process what he said, his fingers were framing your jawline coaxing your already parted lips open and he attacked your mouth, delving his hot tongue right in without preamble.

Your brain freezed but you found that you didn’t even need any cognitive function to respond to such a kiss, your tongue instantly wrapping around his own, as if you’d been waiting for this to happen all along when in reality you were completely taken aback. But you were too lost in him to even question any of it, he completely accaparated all your senses blocking out any need to make sense of it all.

The kiss was intense, nothing shy or tentative about it. You’d wanted him to make it clear and he was making sure of it. He kept a firm grip on your jaw, massaging it with his thumb to relax the muscle, making sure you were opening wide as much as possible for him to explore your mouth properly. His other hand had come to your waist, having found a tiny bit of exposed flesh there- your blouse had ridden up as you were pushing yourself up on your tiptoes to reach him the best you could. His fingers were digging deep into your hip bone to the point where you could feel his rings leaving indents on your skin, making you gasp and earning a groan in return.

But he didn’t let you break the kiss, he nudged your nose pushing your head back until you were flush against the wall and you felt deliciously trapped beneath him. There was absolutely no space for you to move in any way, and for some reason that was doing inexplicable things to you.

You’d never been more turned on in your life. It’d gone from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds and you briefly wondered how you’d ever gone without this before. He was devouring your mouth and just when you thought he was going to pull away and let you catch your breath, he’d dive right back in, even hungrier than before.

All you could hear was heavy panting, your own heartbeat that was alarmingly rapid, and a mix of both of you moaning and groaning and it sounded absolutely sinful.

You were so lost in him, you honestly wouldn’t have known what your own name was had someone asked that very second.

But your eyelids fluttered open when a flash of light washed over them, and it took you a second before you even registered the sound that was added to the mix, that of wheels on asphalt and a car door being slammed shut.

The moment the foreign sounds were heard, Harry’s eyes opened wide and he finally broke the kiss, not removing himself from all over you though. He was panting heavily and before he pulled himself away he plastered his lips to your ear, punctuating each word “My bedroom. Be quiet. Go!”

You didn’t even ponder it, scurrying off right away, hearing him switch on some lights and just as you reached the door to the master bedroom you could hear Harry getting the front door.

You didn’t close the door all the way, prickling your ears to make out what was happening

“Hey, Ems, thought you were staying over at your mom’s tonight?” a brief pause and then you really had to hold your breath to hear them as his voice went softer, lines with concern “What’s the matter?”

“I’m never spending Christmas with them again. I’m so sick of this. I didn’t even wanna go in the first place, she always does this, always ruins it”

“Ems… She’s your mum. We’ve been over this”

“Yeah, well, I’m sorry. I finally get to spend my holidays with whomever I want and this is me choosing you. End of story”

“Emily…”

“We can go on that ski trip like we always wanted! Do you think we could make it this year?... Do you think it’s all fully booked?”

“I… yeah, of course everything’s fully booked. We’ll do it next year, alright? C’mere”

“I’m so sick of them, dad. I’m so glad I don’t have to stay there and can just leave if I want to now.

“Did she drive you here?”

“No, I ubered”

“Emily…”

“I was just desperate to get out of here. Look, I know, I should’ve called you to pick me up, but I just couldn’t wait. I’m here now and I’m safe, and ugh. Please just let it slip this once. I’m emotionally exhausted”

“Just… promise you’ll call next time”

“I will”

You were beginning to feel bad for eavesdropping while they were probably hugging and before you could shut the door you heard Emily’s muffled voice “Let’s just watch Home Alone 2. Let’s make this a Christmas Day tradition starting this year. Can we?”

“Of course, petal. Did you have dinner?”

“Left halfway through it but managed to grab a bite”

“Ok, c’mon. You stream it, I’ll bring the snacks”

You closed the door finally, and just ran your fingers through your hair nervously, as you paced the bedroom back and forth.

What the fuck just happened?

It all came crashing in. You’d kissed. And had Emily not made a surprise apparition who knows what would’ve happened!

Oh God, oh God, oh God.

You needed a moment. You sat on the edge of the bed. Now what? Where did you go from here? Was the moment lost forever? ‘Cause if so, you were gonna have to hold a grudge on Emily indefinitely. She’d effectively cockblocked what was gonna be the best sex of your life, that you knew without a shadow of a doubt.

You didn’t know what to do with yourself. You were so hot and bothered but at the same time, had considerably sobered up. His daughter was there, for fuck’s sake! He was watching Home Alone 2 with her and eating snacks while you were hiding in his bedroom like some sort of secret mistress!

You rubbed your forehead, fuck that shouldn’t be turning you on even more, but it did. There really was no hope of redemption for you, was it?

As minutes turned into half an hour and half an hour turned into an hour and so on so forth, your mind raced as you finally allowed yourself to lie on his bed. You felt ridiculous for waiting in there for him, you felt nervous about the awkward conversation that was about to be held, and you still felt seriously frustrated after having been so worked up it physically ached.

Somehow, with nothing but their laughter in the background you must’ve somehow dozed off because next thing you knew he was sat at the edge of the bed, his arms on either side of you, hovering over you.

Your eyes widened and you made to say something but he placed his index finger on your lips reminding you to keep quiet and before you could even adjust your eyes to the dark properly he bent down and touched his lips to yours. This time, it was slow. Careful, languid, almost featherlike brushes of his lips against yours replaced the urgent almost animalistic ones from before. He wet his lips and traced your upper one with the tip of his tongue as you relaxed your head back into the pillow, and you couldn’t help but moan as he pressed you further down, sliding his tongue into your mouth in long, dragged out strokes.

“Gonna need you to be quiet” he whispered against your mouth, gently biting on your lower lip this time “Think you can do that?”

You just nodded, your hooded eyes taking the sight of him in. He really was there, in the flesh, you weren’t imagining it. You weren’t dreaming it.

“Fuck, don’t look at me like that” he groaned, raising his head a bit to roam his eyes all over you

“Like what?” you whispered back, dreamily

“Like you want me to devour you”

You gulped “What if I do?”

His eyes darkened, visible even in the low lighting that was only coming from the streetlamps outside “Careful, baby. You gotta mean it. You gotta be sure”

“I’m sure” you whimpered, pressing your thighs together at the use of the petname.

He hummed, visibly delighted with the effect his words and actions were having on you “I don’t know. With your track record, how do I know this isn’t just another lie?”

You huffed, not in the mood to be teased. You were so on edge you could’ve screamed had it not been for Emily probably asleep not too far away from you “I didn’t lie!”

Harry raised an eyebrow, straightening as he reached into his backpocket and fished out the lacy piece of garment, holding it by his index finger “Y/N… I’ve been around the block. This was no accident” an amused glint to his eyes as he wiggled the panties a bit

You sat back on your elbows, feeling the need to clarify this once and for all as you cleared your throat gently and avoided his eyes “Is this what prompted tonight? Just the panties and what you thought my leaving them in your en suite meant?”

He furrowed his brows and placed the object in question aside, sliding his thumb over your bottom lip to release it from under your front teeth “Shit. You really didn’t leave them there on purpose, did you?”

You looked up at him again, shaking your head slowly.

His eyebrows knitted together even further “What else have I misread about this?”

Your worried expression matched his, was he backing off? “Are you having second thoughts?”

He shook his head “I don’t know what I’m thinking. I can’t think properly, all my blood goes straight to my cock everytime I land my eyes on you” he pulled your bottom lip from under your front teeth again, smirking to himself at the sight of you getting so hot and bothered just by the mention of his cock “I know it’s wrong of me to want you” he whispered watching your lips intently then moving his gaze down your body unashamedly, his finger descending along with his eyes, tracing the outlines of your hourglass figure “You’re so young and so innocent, and I’m…” he paused to fix his eyes back on yours, then bent to your ear “...the big, bad wolf”

He chuckled at your helpless whimper, his words and lips against the shell of your ear sending shivers down your spine “I’m not innocent”

“Oh, baby,” he whined “I’m such a depraved soul for wanting to show you just how wrong you are about that”

“Show me, then” your voice just above a whisper as he traced wet open mouthed kisses along your jawline and down your neck

He shook his head “Careful” he warned again, but you huffed in annoyance, beyond frustrated at this point. If he didn’t touch you soon, you were going to ignite, you were sure of it. “Besides, I can’t have my way with you tonight, not without my daughter having the shock of her life waking up to your loud moans”

You raised an eyebrow at that, he was getting a bit too cocky “Don’t flatter yourself”

He mirrored your expression “Oh, honey, you really aren’t aware of how loud you get when you come, are you?”

Your eyes widened. What?

That damn smirk was back on his face “Don’t think I didn’t know what you were up to that first night here” it was his turn to bite his lower lip as he once more ran his eyes over your body, this time his hand landing on your navel, his forefinger tracing the soft skin showing just above the waistband of your pants “I heard every moan, every whimper, and definitely that grand finale. You gonna tell me you touched yourself in my bed and didn’t mean for me to know about it?”

“I swear I didn’t mean for you to hear” you breathed out, struggling for words. He was barely touching you but his stare was so intense, his voice was so grave and his touch was electrifying. The very thought that he’d heard you that night was sending you spiraling

“That’s why you didn’t wear any pants to bed that night, either?” he slowly nudged the hem of your blouse upwards, splaying his hand over your abdomen and tracing the lower outline of your bra with his thumb “Hm? Only wore my shirt to bed, made sure to get your scent all over my sheets?”

You mewled as his hand went further up under your blouse, cupping your right breast over your bra in his large hand, squeezing it gently. His mouth parted, losing track of his own thoughts whilst doing so “At first I thought I was just hearing things, my mind playing tricks on me. I was so worked up after sharing that cigarette out the back” he bent and nudged the blouse over your chest using his nose, exposing your bra to him, his fingers now tracing the outline of your cups and in between your breasts. His lips found purchase on your neck, as you turned your head to the side, giving him better access “But then I stepped closer to the bedroom door and could hear you properly, and I almost lost my fucking mind” he groaned, causing your own vocal chords to vibrate, tickling your throat.

“Oh God” you panted, as he grabbed your bra from in between your breasts and tugged it, causing your breasts to jiggle with the motion

“Were you thinking about me? Tell me, Y/N. Were you thinking about me when you were touching yourself, making yourself feel good? Don’t lie”

“I’m not lying!”

He chuckled then bit your earlobe playfully “The jury is still out on that. Don’t change the subject. Was it me you were imagining playing with that pretty pussy of yours?” he spoke right into your ear, his mouth wet and warm and his dirty talk causing you to bend your knees and rub your thighs together wantonly, kicking him in the ribs slightly whilst doing so, but he didn’t even flinch.

“Yeah” you breathed out, eyes closed tightly as he pinched your nipples through the fabric, and you wanted it off, you’d never hated wearing bras as much as you did that very second, stupid, useless contraption.

“Yeah?” his voice was higher pitched as he pushed your blouse over your head and you threw it to the side. He used the split second you arched your back off the mattress to unclasp your bra and your mouth fell agape as he hooked his finger in the front once more, pulling it slowly away from your body and off to the side, discarding it. “Fuck me” he inhaled sharply “Look at you”

“You’ve already seen my breasts. Told you, you were the liar” you didn’t know where that smart mouth was coming from but you worried your lip between your teeth again seeing his smirk reappear, his eyes ungluing themselves from your naked upper body and going back to yours

“I had to lie about that, didn’t want you to be uncomfortable” he said under his breath as he lowered himself back atop of you, his hand splaying over your clavicles and sliding down against your sternum before tracing a nipple with his index finger, ever so slightly. Your back arched off the bed instantly and he added menacingly “Told you I was the big, bad wolf”. He pinched your nipple to emphasize his point and your eyes rolled back. You didn’t know how much more of this you could take.

“Please” you whimpered, pushing your chest against his palm needily. You were dying to touch him, but you’d just clutched the bedding beneath you this whole time.

“That’s it” he whispered between his teeth, almost as if only to himself “I want you to beg for it. Beg me to touch you, just like you were doing that night”

“Please, Harry, please, please, touch me. I want it so bad” you cried lowly, your head wriggling against the pillow, your hair a mess around your face

He tsked you “That’s not how I remember it” his hands went to your jeans, unbuttoning the fly open and your breath caught. Your mind was foggy, but you struggled to make sense of what he was saying. He hooked his fingers inside the waistband and you lifted your bum allowing him to peel your pants off of you. This suddenly felt extremely real and he must’ve noticed the shift in your mood, because after tossing your pants on the floor he hurried back, locking your frame between his arms as he hovered above you. You realized he’d only just sat at the edge of the bed this whole time and was wondering why he was choosing to do so. He was also fully clothed while you were only clad in yet another pair of flimsy panties that were soaked through as it were.

“C’mon, baby” he coaxed in your ear as he toyed with your breasts some more “Wanna hear you say it. I can’t stop thinking about you calling me that ever since I heard you from behind that door that night. Can’t stop hearing you moan it in my ears whenever I fuck my hand holding those damned panties of yours, rubbing them all over me, drenching them in my come whenever I picture your pretty mouth on me”

“Fuck!” you kicked your legs impatiently, this was beyond torture

“Shhh. Shit, you really can’t keep quiet, can you? And I’m not even touching you yet. I can’t wait to have you scream till the picture frames rattle”

“I can, I can. I’ll be good. Please” you mewled and he raised an eyebrow, you were sinking into subspace and there was no turning back, and he knew it

“You gonna be a good girl for me, baby?” he finally coaxed, his ring cladded knuckles brushing over your heat

“Yes, yes!”

“Who are you gonna be a good girl for, baby?” he pressed his thumb against your clit over the fabric and your back arched “Hm?”

“Just for you, daddy” you moaned wantonly and Harry hissed, hooking his finger into the crotch of your panties and pulling them off you in one swift motion

“Fuck! Say it again!” he pushed his middle finger into you without resistance, you were absolutely drenched

“Daddy!” you yelped, and he quickly closed the space between you, silencing you with a kiss. That came out way louder than you had intended. He kissed you hard, all clanking teeth and lip bites, all the while thrusting his finger in and out of you in hard motions.

You were so on edge, you knew it was just a matter of seconds until you’d orgasm, but you desperately wanted to drag it out. It felt so good, he felt so good, and the fact that you got to call him daddy, something you’d never ever done out loud with anyone just absolutely did you in.

Just as you somehow managed to clear your head enough to make a conscious effort to delay your orgasm, he added another finger into the mix, twisting his wrist enough to change the angle dramatically while also toying with your clit using his thumb and that’s when you finally let go of that poor duvet and clung onto his shoulders instead, pushing yourself onto his hand desperately in sink with his thrusts “Oh God. OhGodohGod” you panted heavily, you were on the brink of tears from overstimulation

“You’re doing so good, baby” he spoke into your ear “You’re so hot. Never gonna forget this. Wanna feel you come, sweet girl. C’mon. Come for daddy”

You pinched your eyes shut and clung to him for dear life as wave after wave shot through you, your whole body convulsing in pleasure. Everything was heightened in those moments. The smell of him and his cologne as he whispered in your ear, the feel of his curls against your forehead, the strain of his shoulder muscles as your fingers dug into them, the feel of his rings against your hot core as his fingers bottomed out into you. This must’ve been what psychedelic drugs felt like, cause you were pretty sure you’d just had an outer body experience. You’d never come so hard, not even by yourself, and the realization was in itself extremely overwhelming.

When he pulled his fingers out of you, you whined pathetically, but for a moment you really wished he could’ve kept going forever.

“Have I earned these ones, do you think?” he grabbed the panties he’d just discarded and held them before you and you stared at him hazily, not even processing what he’d said properly, attaching your mouth to his. He moaned audibly at your kiss in which you poured as much gratitude as possible. Your hand lowered between the two of you, aiming for his crotch but his hand let go of the panties and caught your wrist, pinning it against his chest, a shuddered breath escaping his lips as he broke the kiss.

“I want you to, more than anything, but I won’t be able to stop and I want to do this right” his voice was strained and raspy and you just didn’t know whether to feel dejected or happy that he was seemingly planning on this being more than just this odd occurrence.

As if reading your mind, he kissed the corner of your mouth and then stood up, unbuttoned his shirt, took it off and handed it to you “Dunno about you, but if we’re gonna do this might as well have the whole cliché”. You rolled your eyes playfully at his smug smile “Gonna hop into the shower real quick” he bent to grab the aforementioned panties off the bed and your eyes widened in realization as he headed for the ensuite.

You buttoned down his shirt and got under the covers- surely this was alright after what you’d just done? But you felt as if your brain had been fried. You couldn’t process any of it. You were still on cloud nine and you knew there was so much to unpack, but you just wouldn’t know where to begin just then. You hugged a pillow to your front, luckily he had several, and tried not to actively think about any of the impending questions and just focus on the then and there, the sound of running water in the shower was making it all sink in.

You’d been with your fair share of men, probably- no, certainly more than had truly earned that privilege, so how was it that this had felt like your true sexual awakening? You hadn’t even slept with him yet somehow, what you’d shared tonight felt more real and intense than anything you’d ever felt in all your sexual experience. You couldn’t even pinpoint what about it had been so different. Harry was just in a league of his own. Nothing else could even come close.

He understood intimacy.

He opened the door to the ensuite and you were sad to see he’d already put on his usual t-shirt and sweats he wore to bed. You were dying to see some more of those tattoos he was hiding underneath there, ‘cause when he gave you his shirt you’d been too preoccupied to take a good look at them.

You only hoped you’d get to, soon.

Harry circled the bed and before you could fret about this being awkward, he got in bed next to you and pulled you flush against him. He smelled of body wash and toothpaste, a hint of his perfume still lingering, his soft breath against your temple.

You felt like saying something, but you didn’t know what. You wanted to address what had happened, but what was there to say? You couldn’t find your words. He finally broke the silence, his voice a soft murmur “Do you regret it?”

“Of course not” you spoke softly “Do you?”

“No, never” he kissed your temple once, you could feel his eyelashes flutter against your hairline “I’ve been trying to fight this ever since I first met you”

“What made you give up the fight?” you asked tentatively, your voice barely above a whisper

He intertwined his fingers with yours as he exhaled “I’ll let you know when I figure it out. Go to sleep, sweet girl”

You sighed contentedly and were out like a light.

*

The next morning (or was it noon again?) you woke up alone in bed. Harry’s shirt had ridden up and you were sure he was met with quite the view when he’d gotten out from underneath the sheets that morning, but you weren’t sorry about it in the least.

Realization quickly sank in though, and you realized you hadn’t spoken about how you were going to go about Emily being there. She obviously had no clue you’d been hiding in the master bedroom all along. Hopefully.

You could hear the two of them chatting, having breakfast most probably by the strong smell of coffee. Emily was laughing loudly and you couldn’t blame her for waking you up, after all, she had no idea someone was asleep in there. She was apparently wandering around the house, calling out to her dad whilst doing so for some reason, and you froze momentarily hearing her voice a little too close to the bedroom door.

“All the snow is melting, blah. Well, at least we had some snowfall on Christmas Eve. Wouldn’t have felt nearly as festive otherwise”

She was probably looking out the window in the hallway directly adjacent to the master bedroom. The sun was, in fact, quite bright for a winter day.

“Hey, dad?” you could hear Harry acknowledge her and then what she said next made you sit up in bed, your eyes searching frantically for your discarded clothes on the floor that have since been picked up by Harry and placed neatly on the dresser “What’s Y/N’s car doing in your driveway?”

Chapter 6

A/N: no words, just... all the feels

💕 like & reblog if you’re enjoying this, lovelies, and most importantly, please come share your thoughts on it here 💌

[twilight-orchid]

How The Demon Brothers React After Fighting With Their SO

tw: some angst with resolution at the end, mentions of past arguments, insecurity.

Lucifer:

This man is petty as hell.

He doesn’t do the silent treatment, but he acts like you aren’t dating.

If you need to work on something together, you’re a co-worker.

At RAD you’re a classmate.

Around the house you’re just a housemate.

His poker face is immaculate and it will not crack when you’re around.

If someone didn’t know what was happening, they’d probably think you two barely knew each other.

However, you won’t notice, but as soon as you look the other way his eyes are on you.

He’s used to arguing with his brothers and is no stranger to explosive fights that end with he and the other person not being on speaking terms.

But you’re different.

He tries to go on with business as usual, but he can’t think about anything other than how much he misses you.

Yet, he lets it continue because he just can’t put his pride aside and apologize.

If you decide to sleep in your old room it’ll both hurt his feelings and royally piss him off.

He thinks you’re being childish and will be pretty rude about it, but that’s because internally his blood just ran cold.

It adds a degree of seriousness to the argument that he’s uncomfortable with.

Yes he’s mad, but he can’t lose you.

If you still sleep in his bed, he makes sure to scoot over to the very edge so he doesn’t cuddle you in his sleep.

In fact, the first night after the argument he’d probably put a pillow between you just to really punctuate the fact that he’s still upset.

I’d say it could go 4 days to a week tops without you making up.

After a point though, he just can’t function until the issue is resolved. He can’t sleep, he’s falling behind on his work, and he’s just generally not doing well.

You get called to his office one night and find him at his desk surrounded by piles of paper, disheveled and exhausted.

“MC, come sit down. I’d like to talk this through. Please.”

Mammon:

He’s so dramatic.

You dare defy him? The Great Mammon can’t believe this tiny fragile human would have the audacity.

The theatrics are just a front though.

His ‘The Great Mammon’ act is a mask for his insecurity, one he hasn’t had to use with you in awhile.

Even as the words leave his mouth he regrets them.

He’s going to be very uncomfortable with everything until the argument is resolved, but most of all himself.

He’s learned not to take his brothers too seriously when they toss insults his way, but words have a way of morphing to belief over time.

Internally he is going to be super hard on himself. 

Regardless of if the fight was his fault or not, he’s going to kick himself constantly for making yet another mistake.

He’s over the argument pretty fast. The anger quickly melts into anxiety.

Are you going to leave him? Do you hate him? Did he hurt your feelings? 

That being said, he doesn’t know if you’re still mad and he doesn’t know how to ask. 

As a defense mechanism, he defaults to how he treated you when you first arrived in the devildom.

Calls you human, disregards you, stuff like that.

If you decide to sleep in another room, before midnight expect him to be knocking on the door.

“Oi, MC. You awake? I just - I can’t - *sigh* Can we talk about this?”

If you sleep in his bed, he makes a point of sleeping with his back to you.

Less because he’s actually mad and more because he doesn’t want his image of you as he drifts to sleep to be a look of anger.

Though as soon as he passes out he’ll roll over and tuck you into his arms on instinct.

I’d say any after effects of an argument with Mammon would be resolved in a day, maybe two tops.

Leviathan:

Arguing activates his trolling the forums mode.

Goes back to calling you a normie and contradicts everything you say.

He’s less mad about the argument and more using the bitterness to cope with how upset he is.

He feels like a break up is less of an if and more of a when.

Why would someone as amazing as you settle for weird otaku like him?

Honestly doesn’t understand why you’re with him in the first place, so when there’s a serious argument he assumes its over.

Tbh don’t know how you and Levi would sleep together being that I doubt two could fit in a tub, but any deviation to your routine sends him into a panic.

It’s his reality check that the situation is serious and he needs to fix it NOW.

He’d have trouble apologizing in person. He can’t think of what to say, he stumbles over his words, and he feels like he’s on the verge of a panic attack.

Instead, expect a long ass text message.

He says how sorry he is, how much he misses and loves you, and legit begs you to forgive him.

If you sleep with him like normal, he’ll probably try to make up after laying there for awhile. His mind is going a million miles an hour and there’s no way he can sleep.

Still really has trouble verbalizing how he feels, so give the poor boy a break and take over the conversation.

He hasn’t had a serious relationship before and he doesn’t know what he should do to make it better.

So the after effects will last however long it takes him to read several mangas, watch some anime, and play a few games to see how the characters get over arguments in the story.

Satan:

Satan makes sure not to fight with you over minor issues.

He’s worked tirelessly to tame his wrath and he refuses to feed into it over a minor issue.

Thus, if you fight with Satan it’s a major argument and it’s explosive.

The aftermath isn’t much better.

He doesn’t want to risk blowing up again, so he’s frighteningly calm.

He’s an absolute master of the silent treatment.

He won’t say a word to you until he’s certain he’s calmed down enough.

For the first few days he’ll straight up leave a room if you enter.

For a good while the only way you can expect to communicate with him is through his body language and the expression in his eyes.

Satan’s biggest fear is losing control and lashing out at you. 

He couldn’t live with himself if he hurt you and he can’t stand the thought of you being afraid of him. 

He’s a whirlwind of emotions, so he isolates himself until he can figure out how to deal with it.

Not just from you, but from everyone else too. 

Satan will not share a bed with you for at least the first night.

If he got worked up enough to actually fight, it’s gonna take him time to simmer down.

And he’d rather not risk doing or saying something he regrets in the meantime.

Once he’s ready, he’ll approach you when he’s completely calmed down and has thoroughly analyzed the situation.

He’s considered both of your sides, tried to pinpoint what caused the disagreement to turn into a fight, and made a plan of action to prevent it from happening again.

“MC? I’ve been thinking quite a bit about what happened. Would you please talk it through with me?”

He won’t apologize for the argument if he feels like he was right, but he will apologize for letting the disagreement escalate into a fight.

Satan could go weeks without making up if necessary, but he tries to resolve it within a couple of days.

Asmodeus:

Wants to give you the silent treatment, but is physically incapable.

He can’t stand to have you ignore him.

He’s the type to go back to normal then suddenly remembers you guys had a fight.

“Wait, no! I’m not talking to you! I’m mad at you!”

His biggest downfall is that he’s so stubborn.

If he thinks he was right, he will die on that hill.

There are arguments with his brothers that happened a thousand years ago and he could still tell you exactly why he was right.

But with you, he realizes that doesn’t matter too him nearly as much as it usually does.

If it means going back to normal, he’ll forget who’s right or wrong.

If you sleep in another room, he’s beyond offended.

“What?! Well fine! I don’t want you in my bed anyway!”

Laying in bed alone is a different story though.

He can’t sleep. All he can think about is you. Your face when you sleep next to him, your smell, the feeling of his arms around you.

He 100% cries.

Finally goes and knocks on your door with wet, glossy eyes.

“MC? Can we talk about this? I can’t get my beauty sleep and my tears are wiping off all of my skin care lotion!”

Will throw himself into your arms before you can answer.

If you sleep next to him still, he rolls over and watches you sleep.

It puts him at peace and he decides seeing your sweet, resting face every morning is worth more to him than the argument.

He’ll initiate the conversation the next morning.

I think Asmo could make it a few days if it was a really serious argument, but he will not function well until you make up.

Beelzebub:

Wants to make up immediately.

He doesn’t like to argue, even less so with you.

Whether he was right or wrong, he blames himself. He’ll take all the blame in the world if it makes you happy.

He’ll go make you your favorite food and bring it to you.

If he thinks you don’t want to talk to him, he’ll leave it outside your door and text you to let you know it’s there.

He’s honestly devastated if you decide to sleep in another room.

You guys migrate to your old room when you want privacy from Belphie, but you almost never sleep separately.

Seeing you grab your pillows and march out of the room nearly stops his heart.

He goes completely numb and silent as he just stares at the space you had just occupied.

Like Levi, he thinks this means the relationship is over and he genuinely does not know what to do with himself.

He can’t even bring himself to eat, he just wants to lie there, lost and trying to grapple with his emotions. 

He’s another one who will absolutely cry, but unlike Asmo he will make sure no one knows it.

If you still sleep in his bed, he’s very nervous about it.

He doesn’t know if it’s okay to touch you, what he can or can’t say, stuff like that.

He just lays there stiff as a board not even able to close his eyes.

Honestly the fight would probably have to be resolved before bed. His anxiety just can’t take it.

I don’t think he’d initiate the apology. Not because he doesn’t want to make up but because his confidence is rock bottom in these situations.

He catastophizes and honestly thinks you hate him.

If you don’t initiate the apology soon, Belphie will. He can feel what his twin won’t say, and he knows Beel won’t approach you about it for fear of making it worse.

Belphie will lock you two in a room if that’s what it takes for you to make up.

Belphegor:

The embodiment of if looks could kill.

He won’t talk to you, won’t look at you, basically pretends you aren’t there.

If he must interact with you he’ll roll his eyes and sigh the whole time.

Tries to sleep through any interaction so he doesn’t have to deal with it.

He feels almost betrayed by the fight.

He thought the relationship was stronger than to have such a huge divide, so he’s really insecure about it.

After the first day, the anger has melted away to guilt.

He ‘s not guilty that you fought, but he is guilty about how he treated you after.

Guilt and self-blame have become unwelcome friends at this point. Guilt over Lilith, over his plans to destroy the human world, everything.

But more than anything else, the guilt for the fact that he attacked you weighs on him every day.

He moved past it quickly after, essentially pretending he hadn’t killed you, but that’s because he just couldn’t confront what he’d done. 

He feels like the luckiest demon alive that you forgave him, let alone  opened you heart enough to love him, and now it’s all in tatters.

Another thing to regret.

If you decide to sleep separately, it’ll hit him like a bag of bricks.

“You - what? Where are you going?” 

It’ll take him a second to process what you were doing, but then he’ll roll over and let you leave.

“Fine. Don’t let the door hit you.”

No one will see him for awhile. 

Belphie sleeps all the time anyway, but he just can’t make himself get out of bed.

If you don’t approach him to apologize, Beel will tell you that he’s been nauseous and randomly emotional which must mean his twin is coping very badly. 

Will beg you to go make Belphie happy again. 

If you sleep in his bed still, the argument will be resolved by morning.

He can’t keep himself from embracing you in his sleep, and it’s hard to say you’re mad at someone when you wake up in their loving arms.

It’s hard to pinpoint how long it could last with Belphie. If you don’t apologize first, he won’t let himself be conscious long enough to approach you.

This is both my first hc post as well as my first obey me post so I’m sorry if le boys are ooc. I just got this idea and couldn’t stop thinking about it so here we are.  Especially Belphie, he was hard to me for some reason. Let me know if you guys agree or disagree and if you want to send a request or ask, my box is open!