#funny work stories

[disast3rtransp0rt]

A guy I interviewed at work today "crossed me off his list" when I told him about my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (we were talking about in-person vs. remote jobs and I mentioned I preferred remote due to my disability). I was incredibly confused for a few moments before he realized how rude and weird that sounded and half-shouted:

"Sorry!! I'm a biology and physiology major!!! You're an incredibly rare specimen and my friends will be jealous I talked with you!"

I almost snorted cause I certainly wasn't expecting that. And just to make his day told him, "Wanna know the best part? I did contortion with a travelling circus."

He legitimately squealed.

Sometimes working in HR is pretty fun.

[darcymariaphoster]

Some years back, when I worked in the meat department, I had a lady ask me if it was difficult to cut the ribs out of boneless, skinless chicken breast -- because she had seen "rib meat" in fine print on the package and assumed that meant actual rib bones. She was one of my top favorite dumb stories.

Well, I met her contender this week.

Customer: *shows me this yogurt container* Excuse me, but do you know if this is yogurt?

Me: ??? Yes?

Customer: Even though it says "protein"?

Me: ????? It's just extra protein?

Customer: Okay, thank you. :)

[evilclownposts]

about something something years ago, I was showing my work colleague a video about my family’s cute doggo when the bald, 16-year-old version of me holding the camera made an appearance at the end. my colleague evidently thought this was funny because I’ve always had long hair, and called me a “stud spud”.

Dead-faced, I looked her in the eye, and quietly let her know that the reason I was bald in that video was because, a week earlier, I’d shaved off my hair in solidarity with my grandma for her second round of chemo.

the look of abject horror on her face was priceless.

[stillwill76]

Cool Bleach Stuff That I’ve Found Working at Vintage Stock

Alright, so I’ve been working at Vintage Stock for about five months now and from time to time we’ll get in some pretty neat stuff, whether it’s from corporate or a customer selling us stuff. Today, I’d like to highlight some of the Bleach stuff that we’ve gotten in. It ranges from really cool to funny to strange. Here we go!

First up:

This sick Hollow Ichigo mask. Bought this in from a customer. Cost $4.99. Immediately bought it for myself. It’s made of plastic so it’s not super high quality but it’s still pretty sick. Of course, like a week or two later, corporate sent us this:

I’m not 100% what material this one was made from but it was much higher quality. Cost $29.99. A customer bought it within a few days. I’m not too upset losing out on this one since I already have the other one for much cheaper. On to other things!

For context, I’m saying “Oh no”, because I know I’m going to buy this later. I actually didn’t though. I bought this one instead.

It was worth it. 😊 Anyway, at Vintage Stock we sell all manner of collectibles, DVDs, video games, and more. This includes figures, of course. So when we got this one in:

I knew I needed her immediately. I actually didn’t have any Bleach figures yet so this was pretty nice. We also had figures of Ichigo when he gets his new Zangetsu and Uryu in his Sternritter uniform but those got bought pretty quickly. We also have a couple of pre-owned figures. And, man. Are they funny.

I don’t know what’s funnier. Renji getting Mike Wazowskied twice or Byakuya costing ten dollars more. Anywho:

Obilgatory Funko photo. I don’t like Funko Pops. The only ones I own are gifts, aside from a Baby Groot one my wife and I bought after the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie came out. However, this one is kinda neat. Especially since it glows in the dark. Is it worth $59.99? Absolutely not. At least for me. Last thing on this list is DVDs. We actually bought in several box sets this evening.

Pretty standard stuff. We also already have Bleach DVDs in stock but they’re a bit… different.

Notice how it says, “Chapter 325-366,” the final episodes of the first anime, but the art is everyone in their season one looks. Also notice the art on the DVD on the right.

That, my friends, is fanart. We have bootleg Bleach boxsets for sale. 😂🤣 This was what inspired me to make this post in the first place but I wanted to wait until we got more stuff in. Here’s hoping I get more neat Bleach stuff in my store.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[arhvste]

“this is killing me.” kuroo mumbled as he tossed his phone to his side. “just trust me bro,” his best friend-turned roommate bokuto grinned. “this works everytime for me i swear!”

kuroo sighed before grabbing phone again to refresh his instagram story views once more. several people had already viewed the post-gym mirror selfie he’d taken in attempts to garner attention from one particular follower of his; you. “maybe it’s too cringe…” he muttered while over analysing the photo that had already gained a couple of likes within the twenty minutes it had already been up for. “nah.” bokuto reassured him and pat his friend on the shoulder. “you look sexy.” kuroo stared back at the two-toned haired boy. “… thanks bro.”

this isn’t something kuroo would typically post but times were tough and he was desperate. he’d seen you around campus but luck was not on his side when it came to scheduling and the two of you barely had class time together. yet the little class time you did share, kuroo hung onto it tightly and would let scenes of these weekly one hour classes replay in his head more often than he’d like to admit.

“i feel like a modern jay gatsby,” the ex volleyball captain huffed. “my selfie is the equivalent of the wild parties he’d throw in hopes to get daisy’s attention except i don’t want to post every night, i’ve already made myself cringe with this one post.” bokuto stared back at his friend blankly. “yeah… whatever that means.” kuroo frowned back “it’s a classic, you should know what i mean!”

how much longer was he going to have to wait? bokuto had promised him quick results with this method and so far he’d felt deceived and lied to. if talking to you when he got the chance wasn’t enough to get a conversation going outside the classroom, then social media seemed like the next best attempt to start interacting more.

what were you doing? why weren’t you viewing his story? could you even see his story? did he accidentally block you?

these questions ran through his mind as he quickly rushed to check to make sure he hadn’t for some reason blocked you from seeing his story. he half wished he did because then at least he’d know what on earth was taking you so damn long to see the photo he was increasingly starting to hate more the longer it was posted.

“this is stupid.” he stated as he faced bokuto who had zero concerns in his method in gaining someone’s attention. “it works you just have to wait, trust me.”

kuroo frowned as the little red hearts of others who weren’t you fluttered from the bottom corner of the photo. “look!” his best friend grinned as he leaned over kuroo’s shoulder and pointed to the screen of his phone. “you’re getting likes on it!”

“what’s the point if they’re not likes from the person i posted this for in the first place.” kuroo grumbled back in response. he couldn’t believe he’d been subjected to such an attempt to gain some attention from you. it was ridiculous.

it had been about forty five minutes since he’d posted it and he was slowly losing his mind. sure, the post was going to be up for twenty four hours (if he didn’t give into the voices in his head telling him to delete it) so forty five minutes was nothing, but the minutes were beginning to feel like hours and he was dying inside. why weren’t you viewing it already and what could possibly be keeping you off your phone right now?

“this is stupid.” he decided as notifications from his old team mates started to flash up on his screen. the last thing he needed was lev replying with ‘looksmaxing’ to a post that was secretly dedicated to you. “no, it’s barely been up!” bokuto whined. “you look hot so you should get some replies anyway what’s the big deal?”

pinching the bridge of his nose, kuroo huffed. “the big deal is the person i posted this for hasn’t replied!” what was the point in making sure to go to the gym during a rest day just to take this photo if he wasn’t going to at least make his existence more known to you? he’d even worked his legs enough to the point of managing to achieve the sweaty but sexy look. the muscles in his legs were dying, but his dignity sure as hell wouldn’t.

the college student opened up his phone with the intention to end the mental war inside his head once and for all by deleting the post altogether. bokuto watched his friend in defeat but his eyes flashed. “yes they did!” he yelled and pointed to the screen as your name flashed at the top of his screen.

kuroo’s heart jumped at the sight of your profile picture he’d made a daily routine of staring at and the now blue dot indicating a message from your profile in his inbox. to think he was going to delete this post just a second too, what were the chances?

psyching himself up, kuroo took a few quiet deep breathes before letting the time next to your message pass for a few minutes. he wasn’t an instagram warrior by any means, but he knew enough about general rules in order to not look desperate online.

bokuto watched over his friends shoulders as the two stared in anticipation awaiting the message kuroo had been dying for. this was it. leg day two times in a row was gruelling and he’d regret it for the next few days but it would have been worth it. the countless messages from his old teammates mocking his attempts at a thirst trap could be looked past now that you had finally given into the bait he’d so carefully laid. this is what he’d been waiting for. days of preparing and deciding how to gain your attention had finally paid off and he was about to reap the rewards he’d sown.

clicking the message with baited breath, his heart raced as bokuto’s grip of his shoulder tightened. finally.

‘the label on your shirt is sticking out, make sure to cut it’

“a wins a win.” bokuto filled the silence between the pair as kuroo stared at his phone with a blank expression. “… a wins a win…”

[ohposhers]

some old Troll Twin AU doodles I finally got around to coloring woohoo! naw but i highkey considered having them steal Floyd's talent through some sort of injection process in the AU cause they'd be the same size as him so i was like would the perfume shit still work?? who knows idk what im doing anymore

[high-quality-tiktoks]

undefined

Its okay they could call me on a rotary faster than i could explain to them I’m old enough to know what a rotary phone is

[whimsicallywiddershins]

The thing about being the only white person in my coworker group is I turn bright red from the heat and they tease me about lol. And then they get worried about sunburn and give me lots of sunscreen cause I'm "more vulnerable to the sun."

[beybuniki]

warm welcome

[pink-key]

Your first date

[naomistares]

mini comic about a kinda freaky terrible queen and the nonsensical takes she has about the times people have tried to kill her

(more thoughts in notes)

UP NEXT! ANOTHER short comic, (and then one more) this time taking place one month before the kings death, in which we will have: one annoying prince! one lousy fight scene! rejoice's dismissive nature! and row reveals a secret.... tune in next time for all that

[dear-ao3]

every time i dont believe in myself i remember that one time i emailed nearly every person at my college begging and pleading my case for them to fix my financial aid after they changed systems and stiffed me of a solid 10,000 dollars because i could not afford school if they didnt give me back the money and managed to get back the money plus a few hundred dollars extra two days before i was leaving the country to study abroad

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

An unbothered queen has entered, and subsequently left.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[aethersea]

I do think Blazing Saddles handled its one depiction of native americans very poorly, and the full extent of its representation of chinese workers on the railroad is they were literally just there. not even one single speaking line. unclear if this is worse or better than the redface.

it's fucking phenomenal at lampooning antiblack racism though. extremely blatant, extremely funny satire, which is constantly and loudly saying "racism is the philosophy of the terminally stupid at best and morally depraved at worst, and we should all be pointing and laughing at them 24/7"

plus the main character is a heroic black man who has to navigate a whole lot of bullshit but is constantly smirking at the extraordinarily stupid racists and inviting the audience into the joke. the one heroic white character is a guy who was suicidally depressed until he met the protagonist and they just instantly became buds, and he's firmly in a supporting role the whole time and happy to be there. the protagonist saves the day with the help of his black friends from the railroad, and uses the position of power he was given to uplift not only those friends, but all the railroad workers of other minorities too, in an explicit show of solidarity.

anyone saying "Blazing Saddles is racist" had better be talking about its treatment of non-black minorities. it had better not be such superficial takes as "oh but they say the n-word all the time" or "they have nazis and the kkk in there!" because goddamn if that's the full extent of your critique I very seriously suggest you read up on media analysis. there is too much going over your head, you need to learn to recognize satire.

[demaparbat-hp]

WIP