#get this man a napkin

[the-spam-specialist]

Deux is still working on controlling his other half’s manners

[hinamie]

hina... have you ever drawn nanami & yuji. pls i need to see them. my reluctant mentor and ray of sunshine. maybe eating together after a mission

cleaned up this request doodle from a while ago <3

[soov]

cried at the restaurant cs of a drawing i made for a guy on a napkin im feeling destroyed

[tariah23]

I wonder if it’s just normal for every place of work to have a dirty microwave because… yeah.

[flock-talk]

👻

[sunlightfeeling]

hey… you know what would have been fantastic…

not being sick my first day in Tucson

…and yet here we are 😬👎

[louderfade]

i don't even know what i stayed up all night reading about, but now i'm texting my military sister about packs of army robot dogs fighting in the coming war with china, and this is why she thinks i have the mental illness

[napkintr]

the way Markiplier is playing the new FNAF Security Breach DLC is frustrating the absolute shit out of me, and I don't usually get frustrated at let's players playing bad.

[apollos-boyfriend]

#muse talk#anon#is he just a weatherman#for like dangerous weather???#is he the man they send out to fistfight the hurricane???

Literally that LMAO. He's the Rockstar of Meteorologist. He reports the weather no ones crazy enough to sit in. I'm convinced he would willingly sit in a plexiglass box spinning in a tornado. Man is invincible. He once dodged a 2x4 on live television! (and here's the vid lol https://www.youtube.com/shorts/vtM_VnyOvCU)

Side note tho, everyone from The Weather Channel are HYSTERICAL and they all deserve a big thank you for the work they put in. They have little bits in the show and I laughed more at them roasting each other in silly scientist ways than any comedian could ever hope

insane. obsessed with this man now actually. fuck it up white boy

[pierswife]

You see, the real April Fool's joke was Vash's placement on my F/O list.

This right here? A farce.

Now this? This is the truth.

[ellenriplley]

Donut Lord for the character bingo

[thatstheproblemwithnapkinman]

OMG, YOUR USERNAME IS ICONIC. 🫵💯🌟

hehe thanks

i'd say i'm surprised no one else had it but... i think i'm the only person who doesn't hate it

if i build up the courage im going to get it tattooed

"that's the problem with napkin man. he just doesn't-" on one arm "follow the normal bat-villain protocol! he just wipes away all the clues." on the other

y'know

like a nerd

[sleeperagentclone]

Spilled dumpling sauce all over myself, including my go to shoes (mostly white) and my favorite pull over (not mostly white but it of course got on the white part anyway) and my pants (they might be fine tbh)

[sugurizz]

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐬, 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐬, 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐬 ✧ Feat. JJK MEN

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ── Jjk Men in their -real- Daddy era. (Am I secretly having a baby fever LMAOO)

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 ── fluffy stuff, pure wholesomeness and affectionate dads.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢

It's safe to say that sometimes you're raising two babies - only one of them is a big buff pouty one.

Daddy Toji sneaks to the kitchen in the middle of the night, leaving you both sleeping in your shared bedroom and then slowly closes the door. He promised himself he'd only take one *unnoticeable* spoon of your newborn's baby formula but ends up stuffing his face with the forbidden powder in the heat of the moment. He tries his best to hide his tracks by shoving the tin somewhere far in the cupboard.

He *oddly* always makes sure to be the one preparing his baby's bottle the next day - 'Oh darling, don'tcha move a muscle...I'll be right back with our baby's breakfast!'

You smile and raise a brow, already suspecting something. Daddy Toji is not much of a morning person. much less when it comes to baby chores...

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮

Gojo is always there whenever you change your baby's diaper. He keeps laughing and giggling like a 6 year old, curiously learning from his baby momma how to take care of his little child. His sky blue eyes are staring at your skilled hands, handling your precious little one with infinte care. He keeps smiling in awe, chuckling every time your baby farts and making the funniest faces just to make them giggle.

He takes a million pictures of his baby every day; we're talking his whole camera roll is just his baby's face, cutesy hands, tiny feet, smiling, eating, sleeping on daddy's chest, drooling on his shoulder...the list never ends.

His baby looks so smol when he holds it in his huge hands. He has to bend all the way down just so he could pick them up cause obviously my dude is the tallest man ever.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢

He'd take full care of your newborn just to see you rest and relax. He told you to teach him everything he needs to know so that he'd be perfectly fit for his new -and best ever- occupation; your baby father. He's got however only one pet peeve; getting his little one to burp after feeding them.

The reason? He was doing it once, holding the baby while gently patting its back...until he suddenly felt a warm liquid slithering down his shirt - the expensive one you dearly gifted him on your wedding anniversary- and to his surprise it was none other than his little one's vomit dripping down his shoulder...

Now he makes sure you hold a napkin behind him whenever he does it.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨

He's by far the chillest Daddy EVER. Carries his little one whenever he goes. Gets super jealous when your baby starts calling for you, or wants you to hold them instead of him. He's determined to make them say 'daddy' first, but deep down knows it'd melt his heart when he sees the little version of him utter mommy's name for the first time.

Staying awake at night putting his baby to sleep just so you can get your full nightly rest is something he'd never miss out on. He hates seeing you tired or sleepy and puts both of your needs before anything else.

Daddy Geto is always calm and smiley, no matter how much mess his baby makes or how long it'd take for him to clean it up - sometimes makes you seriously wonder how he manages to be so damn chill all the time.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐒𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚

For a husband twice your size with four arms and eyes he sure should take most care of your little offspring - He does tbf - His baby is always laying somewhere on his body or at least near him; sleeping against his chest, nibbling on his thumb, drooling on the side of his shoulder or sitting on his huge lap.

He's got a 6th sense whenever it comes to his baby being hungry, thirsty, sleepy or needing anything at all. Instantly knows the reason why his little one is crying and most of the time is very quick to make them happy again.

Absolutely hates poopie smell and calls them a brat whenever he senses their diaper getting heavier. 'Aggh you little runt!' You can't help laughing at him getting overwhelmed with such a tiny thing and start teasing him over it.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐘𝐮𝐮𝐭𝐚

There's nothing that Yuuta loves more than children. He has always wanted to have kids and couldn't wait to create his very first and own one with you. He's in LOVE with seeing you taking care of them; almost admiring every move and every word you say. He smiles like an idiot whenever he sees you holding your baby, breastfeeding them, playing with them or even laying next to them.

His favorite game is to hide somewhere in the house and let his little one look for him. He does it so suddenly and quickly, leaving them puzzled with big round eyes - comes out of his hideaway when they start sobbing and laughs at their little red nose and pouty cheeks.

'Aww why is my little cupcake cryiiing?...Daddy's right here!'

[rad-batson]

I’m like 99% sure the Gotham Elite’s social customs are fucked up because Autism-in-Human-Form Bruce Wayne was just so fucking tired of high society’s weird and incomprehensible (and frankly ableist) social etiquette that he went full Virgin Mary About-to-Invent-a-Major-World-Religion, said “oh haven’t you heard?” and just started making his own random social rules. Like who’s going to stop him? The other elites? The dinosaur CEO’s? He’s richer. He hosts the better parties. He could tank your business in a weekend. So when he says “Weird passive aggressive fork language is out. Having a different utensil for every different food texture is in,” you use a different utensil for every food texture. Now when foreign elites visit Gotham, they have to learn a completely new set of social customs to fit in. It’s like a cult, but the cult is run by the most influential man in the world and Gotham’s personal Jesus. The followers are more likely than not mafia bosses named after a bird. You will be judged. There’s a test. Yes, you do get brownie points for being nice to the servers. For the love of god, stop making so much eye contact. The cloth napkins are folded into little ducks. Welcome to Gotham.

[begaycommittreason]

reading the sunshine court truly made me realize just how unbelievably fucking insane the foxes were as a team/family unit.

like wdym your coach is your star players father and didn’t know? wdym multiple people on your team have killed people??? how do multiple people on your team have mafia connections??

usc could hardly believe the ravens intentionally injured jean while the foxes were used to the ravens regularly using vandalism, kidnapping, torture, psychological warfare, and murder against their team

usc talks out their interpersonal team problems while the foxes blackmail eachother into joint therapy until they break a bros before hoes pact

the trojans have no-touch jerseys for practice while the foxes were getting punched, stabbed, choked, and suffering major bodily harm at the hands of another teammate at any given moment in the series

jeremy makes sure jean doesn’t meet the team all at once to not overwhelm him while andrew has a habit of quite literally breaking in the new members in columbia

the trojans tiptoed around and almost didn’t believe kevin’s hand injury while one of neil’s first conversations w the man is yelling “fuck you cripple, you’re a dead weight has been” in french in front of half the team

jeremy avoids cops while neil forces fbi agents to wait for him to finish eating, proceeds to blatantly lie to their faces, and then fucks off

usc would’ve thrown the semi finals match if jean hadn’t survived but seth fucking DIED and kevin and neil were only worried about how it’d affect the line up

jeremy gets furious when he finds out about grayson while neil fucking orders a hit out on him right in front of jean on a napkin over lunch

i was surprised by how hard the trojans were taking things until i remembered the foxes were just grade a crazy