#get this thing out of my drafts. god its been there since 2021 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weebsinstash · 1 year

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U HAVE BEEN HOLDIN OUT ON VOX AND VAL FICS SINCE 2021???????!!????!?? 😭😭

Vox and Val concepts, but lmao yeah 🤣 although if you want me to be blunt anything with Vox in it was saved real short. the tricky thing is like, for one I actually haven't done any "research" on Vox like for Val so I don't have a good grip on his personality besides "cocky smug little shit who has a soft spot for his friends/shark and is kind of a dweeb who wears like Hawaiian shirts and a baseball cap on dates with his boyfriend"

Tbh there's a LOT of drafts for Val but not much for Vox, however there is that one idea I actually drew fanart for and posted about where "Reader meets Val and Vox by chance in a club, they develop a rapport, keep bumping into each other in public, the duo eventually finds out you're dating Alastor (and not entirely happy about it) and steals you away".

Tbh I really like the idea of Reader hanging out with Val and Vox like a dozen times and you idly mention your boyfriend now and then and they're on the downlow about being jealous as fuck and wanting to know who the bastard is.

"Oh yeah sorry I missed you guys the other night, I had a date with my boyfriend, he wanted to go to the theater"

"Ugh, gosh I'd drink if I could but my boyfriend is mad I keep coming home hung over"

"Ha, yeah, my boyfriend hates this stuff, I can't bring this back home if I wanted to"

Eventually one night the two Overlords bump into you after youve been lowkey ghosting them and you seem really quiet and stressed out and drinking a lot and say Vox says something like "what, your shit boyfriend want you home early again tonight?"

"Fiance"

"...What?"

"Fiance. He wants to get married, um, as soon as possible"

Vox and Valentino just gritting their teeth as you start listing some of the more personal details you never let loose before. You don't have a TV at home or any electronic devices besides your phone because 'he absolutely hates technology and has some weird hatred of monitors'. He doesn't like you drinking to get drunk and he bans anything more "recreational" than liquor which is why you're always bumming/buying weed off of Vox.

And I imagine at some point in the conversation you finally slip up. "I mean I know all relationships have difficulties but Alastor just-"

"The fuck you mean, 'Alastor'? The RADIO DEMON 'Alastor'? You're dating HIM?" And its obvious you were keeping it a secret because you wanted your new friends to like you and you're tearing up the second they're showing any signs of anger (even though it's at Al, not you) and I imagine they say some bullshit like "well hey if he won't let you party anymore, let's make tonight one big celebration, just one last time" segue into them pushing drinks and drugs at you until you either pass out or get roofied and, boom youre waking up in a room you dont recognize. Like, I imagine waking up in their bed, your eyes pop open and you turn and see one of them and jerk back, not realizing you're between both of them so you basically bump into the other, and the one you bump into is very loud and obnoxious, "what the fuck Val, what's your fucking--" and then both of them are waking up and you're checking your phone and you have countless missed calls and texts from Alastor and he HATES using anything other than a rotary phone so you KNOW he's furious

for some reason you have all these phone notifications for Voxtagram/Sinstagram/whatever they've named it now and you open it and. Oh no what did they do. Both Vox and Val had posted pictures online, ones of them and YOU, different kinds of photos. You three throwing drinks back, you and Vox shoulder to shoulder on your phones, you looking absolutely flustered beyond belief as Valentino seems to be saying something to you with the biggest most flirtatious smirk on his face, with some of the last photos including, oh god, both of them had uploaded different versions of making it EXTREMELY obvious they took you home for some fun. I can see Valentino blatantly fucking uploading a picture of like, he's got Vox on one side, you on the other, both of you passed out and here's Val "best way to end a night is to fuck the hos to sleep 🍆💦😴 #bejealous #pimplife #allnightfuckmarathon" and properly just straight up tags your profile too.

You're just frantic, "OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO AL'S GOING TO KILL ME" and rushing to put your clothes back on and both of them are either like "you're going back to him????" And are angry, OR, act suspiciously unfazed, almost as if they know for an absolute fact that you won't be able to go anywhere...

#yandere stuff #sinprompts #ughhhhhh they would both be clingy in different ways #vox is possessive bc youre also or at least was his friend and has similar interests. and vals posessive bc hes daddy obviously cbdkdnfj

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whencartoonsruletheworld · 4 years

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The Thrilling Saga of Connie paying real life money for the Worst Sonic TV Show

Let’s begin with the simple fact that me and my sister, @birdsareblooming “Cori”, have both been hyperfixating on Sonic the Hedgehog since last March. During this hyperfixation, I was on Sonic Wiki to copy-paste song lyrics onto my stolen mp3s, and I called my sister in and pointed at the template at the bottom.

“What is this Sonic Underground thing?” I asked. “It has one shit billion songs.”

So we clicked on the page to read about it, and each sentence we read was a punch in the gut and this quickly became the funniest thing we’d ever read. Highlights include:

It looks like this:

“Sonic[...] is known to be a prince”

Sonic has two siblings who actually have good characterization but their names are literally just Sonia and Manic. Like. Sonic split into two names. jesus christ

Also Sonic and his siblings all share a voice actor. honestly Jaleel White does his best with it but

“The three siblings possess enchanted medallions that transform not only into musical instruments, but also into weapons.”

“Some fans consider Sonia to be a clone of Amy Rose, minus the attraction Amy feels for Sonic.” YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES

“Manic is the most often captured of the siblings” himbo king

Knuckles shows up, and for the first, like, two sentences his description is very similar to the game, and then you get immediately pulverized by “He has a pet Dinosaur called Chomps.”

Literally so many sentences on Sonic Wiki are lowkey salty about this show. The page features lines such as “Sonic Underground bears little relation to the often complex Sonic universe (including previous animated series, as well as Sonic comics and games), and shares only three established characters” and “many of the characters in the Freedom Fighter group that were in Sonic the Hedgehog are completely left out (including Tails).”

“The show met with mostly negative reviews.”

*checks air dates* It only lasted two goddamn months

So after seeing this we thought it was the funniest thing and we showed our older sister, @patema-introverted “North.” To our surprise, our at the time “knew nothing about this sonic bullshit” sister recognized the show. Turns out she’d seen trailers for it as a child and that was her sole exposure to Sonic canon.

We were in quarantine at the time, so we ended up finding it on YouTube and binge-watching it all together as a sibling bonding activity. It was just as hilarious as we thought it would be- some stuff was legitimately good, like the sibling dialogue for instance, but good lord were the character designs ugly, the plot all over the place, and pretty much every song, um, not great. Also there was one episode that we skipped because it got, um, I think “stereotypical” is the nicest word I can use here.

But the point is, we had a jolly good time watching it, and afterwards we binged all the other Sonic shows and bonded as a family.

After quarantine, North and I go back to college. My roommate gets groceries at Walmart, while I get them elsewhere, so while she and North collect food I wander the DVD aisle to look at the cool movies and also dumpster-dive in the bargain bin for Cats (2019). I am also short as fuck, so the top shelf of movies I cannot see, I can only read the labels.

So one day I was browsing the DVDs, and glancing over at the labels for the top shelf. I read over the final one before the shelves end.

And then I stop, do a double take, and have a heart attack, because there is a label that reads “SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74″

I immediately climb the shelf but there aren’t any DVDs atop the shelf. However, the label is still there. I excitedly tell my sister and roommates, freak out with them a bit, and then give myself a mission statement:

I will buy the $4 Sonic Underground DVD from Walmart

I did not want it as a gift, I did not want to find it online. I wanted to walk into a store, pick up the Worst Sonic Show on DVD, walk it straight to the checkout, and in front of the cashier and God, pay for it with my own money. I did not care if it was the whole series or two episodes; I needed to do this for my own serotonin.

We would go to Walmart about once a week. Every time, I would go to the DVD aisle, and go right to the end of the shelves. I would stare at the label SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74 and empty space above it and wonder who the fuck was buying this other than me. I would occasionally ask employees if they had any copies in storage. I would build a shrine to Manic in my room. Okay, no I didn’t, but only because my RA would have murdered me.

Christmas break comes, and we have to go home. We have a nice Christmas, and Cori and I infodump at each other about how we would make Sonic Underground a good show (note: we’re both galaxy braining) and also play Bendy and the Ink Machine. Fun times.

When we finally get back to College, it’s late January- long story short we have a very long winter break. My roommate who gets food at Walmart got food without us the first week cause she showed up first, so we take her out to Walmart the first time in the year of our lord 2021 on January 29.

I wander the Valentine’s aisle, immediately grabbing a sequin puppy. I go to the DVDs and see Animaniacs Season One, also grab that.

And then.

There it is.

The Holy Grail.

Above the label SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74, is one DVD left.

Already I am losing my mind. It’s roughly seven hours of episodes- I couldn’t find an episode list, but I think that’s half the show, for $4! And the cover is amazing.

That’s a png of Sonic from Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) with a medallion badly photoshopped over it. The medallion is too small.

Manic is shoved into the corner. He doesn’t have his medallion at all.

Sonia isn’t even pictured on the front cover, probably because they realized she was the worst designed of the bunch. I’m not ragging on her though, because she’s still one of the better designed characters of the show. Those background characters make me cry

So you bet your ass I finally paid my hard-earned $4 for this shit. Upon getting home, I discovered that there was even wilder shit with this DVD than I thought.

For starters: the bonus features listed are as follows:

Original Concept Art - did not expect that these character designs were the final draft

Storyboard-to-screen - did not expect they bothered to storyboard this

Music Video Jukebox - that’s cute, they thought we liked the music

Interviews with original screenwriter & executive producer - I fully expect the only questions to be “why.”

On the left of this list are screenshots from the show, where people can finally see Sonia, who we Know™ is a girl because she is pink and has hair and also an actual body shape instead of just circles like her brothers.

But wait... what’s that in the lefthand corner?

That looks like some kind of robot. But it’s not a robot from Sonic Underground! That didn’t appear once. Why is it here?

The mystery continues upon opening the DVD case: inside are advertisements for other collections, including other Sonic DVDs: two volumes of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) and the final episodes of Sonic the Hedgehog “SatAM” (1993)

First of all, the first volume of AOSTH has the exact same PNG of Sonic as the Underground Volume 1. Not even trying to hide it. But second... the second volume of AOSTH also has this robot on its cover.

And THIS ROBOT IS ALSO DECORATING THE THIRD DISC IN THE SET?

So you may be asking, who is this robot? Is it from AOSTH or Underground?

IT’S FROM FUCKING SATAM. The one show that doesn’t have it decorating the DVD covers.

Also, not only is it from SatAM, it only appears in one fucking episode. Not a major character! AND IT HAS A DIFFERENT DESIGN ON THE PROMO ART, WITH HAIR AND FANGS.

Why is it showing up everywhere? What is going on?

I have not yet had the opportunity to watch this glorious piece of animation, but I am so glad at the confusion I have felt upon receiving it.

But before I go, I must share with you the best part of this DVD purchase. And it was flipping to the back, scanning the details, and discovering the exact runtime of the episode collection.

Guys, gals, and enby pals, friends and enemies, Nintendo and Sega, the first Volume of Sonic Underground has a runtime of...

420 MINUTES.

Maybe I’m wrong and this IS the best Sonic show.

#sonic underground #sonic the hedgehog #sonic 2020 #walmart #mine #connie writes #story time with tumblr

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whatifxwereyou · 3 years

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Lightning Part 24: Time

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 2021

Pairing: Kung Lao x Reader

Summary: And so time went on- life went on.

A/N: I hope I've done a good job with this! Sorry for missing Firestorm on Friday, I thought I posted it and then forgot and it wound up in my drafts! Hope everyone is well. Much love <3

Start From the Beginning << Previous Chapter Next Chapter >> Chapter Index

One Year Later

It was dark when you’d approached Raiden’s Temple, a now familiar sight. The air of the dessert was still chilled before the rising of the sun. You had completed a long laundry list of tasks that needed done along the western borders of China. It was in preparation for the upcoming tournament. Raiden hadn’t given you specifics but had said many times that it was coming and that danger and the unexpected would come with it.

Even at such an early hour the temple was bustling but that came with the territory of being so close to a tournament. The monks and nuns were working off of nervous energy, as if they could tell that something loomed just on the horizon. Raiden had been more enigmatic than usual so you attributed it to that.

The monks and nuns you passed you greeted with a nod or a kind word as you made your way to Raiden’s chambers where he anticipated your return. Hands folded behind his back, he paced, eyes sparking with energy.

“You’re late.”

“Yeah, sorry. Was waylaid. Nothing serious.” By waylaid you meant you’d been distracted. Again, it had been nothing serious. It happened. Most of the time on your travels you went by traditional means unless the distance was extremely great. Raiden called you out on being late constantly. It was literally five minutes. There was nothing quite like disappointing an Elder God. You’d come to think of him like a father.

“Any sign of them?”

You’d been charged with searching for signs of Outworld’s meddling in China. Honestly, it was boring work but you’d been doing it for so long that you didn’t mind it. You even found some regular haunts where the people were interesting.

“Nothing but I have a feeling. Nothing to back it up with though.” You bowed your head politely and Raiden nodded. “It feels like… something’s coming.”

“The world holds its breath.”

You had no idea what that meant but you could take a few guesses.

“The tournament is coming, Y/N. Are you ready?”

“As ready as one can be. Where are the other warriors?” You had been certain more would appear. Raiden kept saying that there would be. Your visions had shown you other warriors. At the very least, you knew there was a very important combatant in America. The descendant of a powerful warrior that was subject of a prophecy. If the tournament was coming soon, you hoped the warriors would get on with it. You had important things to watch out for. Like signs of the most important vision you’d ever had.

Kung Lao’s death.

You were not letting that shit happen.

Admittedly, you’d become overprotective. You usually traveled together so that you could keep an eye on him. Kung Lao would have said that it was so that he could keep an eye on you and you could keep each other company. But you’d always insisted on going with him, so much so that he’d just invited you on most of his trips. You had nightmares about it. And if something did happen, you would recognize the signs. You would have déjà vu.

But halfway through your last trip, you’d been separated. Raiden had called Lao away to take care of ‘something important’ and you hadn’t heard from him since. That was over a week ago. It was probably the longest that you’d been apart since before he’d brought you to the temple that fateful night.

“They will arrive soon enough.” Raiden almost never had exact answers for you these days. You just had to roll with the punches, a thing you’d excelled at. After all that had happened, you had no choice but to learn to adapt.

“Vague as ever, Lord Raiden.”

“That is all I can offer you, Y/N. When the time comes, you’ll know.”

“I trust you.” It wasn’t like you had any other choice. That and he’d saved your life. You had no reason not to trust him even if you longed for more answers.

“Your curse will return.” Raiden watched your reaction curiously. You stiffened up and avoided his eyes.

“I know.”

“You must find a solution before it does. Time is running out.”

“…do you know that time is running out or is this just a friendly reminder?”

“I have a feeling.” Raiden repeated something you often said to him. You sighed.

“I’ve been looking. The answers… it was easier to pinpoint things when I was having the visions. Now it’s… dull. Liu never found anything and I don’t… everything is a dead end.” You drifted off. It wasn’t like you’d stopped researching and looking. You’d traveled all over China for answers and had found next to nothing. Your search was listless.

“I know.”

“Yeah, yeah… I know.” You interrupted and Raiden looked to you with disapproval. You really did have a weird familial bond.

“Stay on your guard.” Raiden dismissed you without a word and you didn’t wait for more. You were finally comfortable with this place that had become your home. Walking through the familiar halls, you made your way to the room you shared with Kung Lao. You hadn’t remained in his room for very long. You’d been allowed to find a bigger space since you were staying together. It wasn’t much but it was yours. You’d put up a screen to split the room in half so you could be apart if you needed to. Not that Kung Lao was very good at giving you space. And you didn’t really mind.

Setting down your bag where your modest bed was, you changed, cleaned up, and then walked past the screen. There in the corner was what Kung Lao referred to as your ‘murder board’. There were photos, notes, articles, copied passages from books, all pinned to the walls and connected by color-coded thread. It was everything that you and Liu Kang had collected on your curse along with potential sources and leads. You really had been working on it.

Sometimes you swore you could hear the bell still ringing in your head. Raiden hid the artifacts from you just in case their closeness had an impact on you. The only other lasting symptom form the whole incident besides obvious scars was nerve damage. It had surprised you just about as much as it had surprised everyone else. Sometimes your shoulder hurt beyond belief and other times it was numb. It was usually the latter.

You’d learned to work around it. The difficulty of recovering after a month of being unconscious had been painful but after that, you’d pushed even harder. Arguably, you were in the best shape of your life. Training with the likes of Liu Kang and Kung Lao had made it easy to get stronger.

The temple really felt like home. You had even collected a whole wardrobe of things to wear, most combat appropriate though you had a few cuter date night outfits too. Mostly black. Your arcana was messy even now that you had complete control over it. You’d been afraid that you might lose your arcana with the absence of your gift but that hadn’t been the case.

And you hadn’t had a vision since then. Not even a hint of one. The nightmares with that horrible creature that had haunted your side had stopped and you felt normal. Well, as normal as someone with a mark that gave you superpowers could feel. Then you spent time working on the notes and adding a few more. Most of it was circuitous garbage. Nothing new. Nothing that gave you any clues as to why or how that connection to whoever had cursed you had been made. Raiden was convinced the answers were somewhere but you weren’t sure you’d ever know the truth.

After an hour you’d had enough of staring at the same shit you’d stared at a thousand times before. There was work to be done.

When you weren’t traveling for Raiden, you were working with weapons. Sharpening, repairing, and training people on their proper use. It turned out that you were a natural. You did your best thinking when you were working with the whetstone.

Before you got to the familiar studio, there was a ruckus in the temple. Monks rushed through the halls at the commotion. You followed the crowd until you found Liu Kang at the center of it. He was rushing a man on a makeshift stretcher through the halls and you covered your mouth in horror.

The man was unconscious and his arms were gone! What on earth had Liu gotten himself into? You pushed through the monks and urged them to go about their day and give Liu space to breathe. You then helped get him to the infirmary where monks were rushing to work with the wounded man. Liu was pushed back as the man was taken from him. He looked exhausted.

“Liu, what happened?” You waited for him to turn his attention back to you. He paced then watched the monks working on the man that was barely alive.

“I was looking for those with the mark and caught wind of others who were searching for them too.” He wiped his hand over his mouth then pushed his hair back, holding it in place, never taking his eyes away from the man that he’d rushed into the temple. “His name is Jax. An American military man. By the time I got to him it was nearly too late. If it hadn’t been for Raiden bringing me back with him then…” He exhaled and the calm he’d temporarily lost had returned. Ever the calm and collected man, Liu Kang was.

His prayer beads were wrapped around his palm and he clenched them tight then bowed to you in greeting.

“My guess is that it’s still going to be touch and go by the look of him.” Your stomach twisted into uncomfortable knots. You’d seen a lot of terrible things but this was pretty up there. “What did this? Do you know?”

“By the time I got there whoever had done it had gone. The building I found him in was completely frozen. My best guess is that he was being pursued by Sub Zero.” Liu sounded distant. You’d heard that name a few times in the last few months. Raiden had mentioned he was a warrior from Outworld who was working with Shang Tsung. To what extent, he hadn’t said. Raiden had heard tell of him on Earthrealm several times but to what end, no one knew.

“Is Jax…?”

“One of us?”

“Yeah.” Liu Kang could still read your mind sometimes.

“Yes, he has the mark.” Liu averted his eyes and then turned his back on the scene in the infirmary as if he couldn’t bear to look. “Luckily the ice cauterized his wounds… otherwise I would have been far too late.”

“You still might have been.” You watched the grisly scene.

“That’s not helping.” You caught the slightest smile on his lips anyway.

“I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry.” You cleared your throat. “I should know more about this guy, huh? If he’s hunting people with the mark…”

“…did I say that?”

“Huh?”

“That he was hunting warriors with the mark.” Liu furrowed his brow with concern. “I’d thought it but I hadn’t said it.”

“Oh.” Your face burned and you turned away. He hadn’t said it, that was true. No one had said it you’d just known it. Well, that was upsetting. You hadn’t just known anything since your visions. “I guess it made sense to think that he was.”

“You’re not seeing things again, are you?” Liu asked cautiously in a low voice.

“No, no. Nothing like that.”

“I’ll give you what I know about Sub Zero. Later. For now, I must speak with Lord Raiden.”

“Go do what you need to. I’ll keep an eye on all of this.” You didn’t wait for him to give you confirmation. Instead, you walked over to help the other monks. You were given instructions on how to help. You’d become quite handy around the infirmary after spending so much time with Chen. Even though you’d made your choice long ago, Chen was ever the gossip and tease. You were grateful for her. It kept you level-headed.

Once the monks had stabilized Jax, You had insisted up on sitting with him. His fever was dreadful. You’d been there before yourself and knew just how comforting a simple wet cloth could be. So you stayed by his side and dabbed the cloth over his head. You also kept an eye on his vitals. After a few hours, you would help the monks change his bandages and then return to your care of him.

The man stirred suddenly, his dark eyes searching the room. You sat alert.

“It’s okay! It’s okay. You’re safe.” You spoke soothingly and urged him to remain lying down. He was in a fragile state. The fact that he was awake at all was remarkable.

“Where is he?” His voice was gritty and raw, like he hadn’t spoken in ages. Trauma was a funny thing.

“You’re safe.” You repeated and his eyes finally met yours but there was no recognition behind them. He wasn’t with it. He wouldn’t remember any of this.

“Who the hell are you? Where am I?”

“You’re safe. Don’t worry about that now, Jax. You need rest.” You urged him to rest on his back as he squirmed. The others in the infirmary were now pushing you out of the way so that they could care for him. He was only conscious for a moment longer but maintained eye contact with you the entire time until he was down again. It was jarring.

Once the commotion had passed, you returned to his side. He needed someone there to care for him. Having Liu Kang by your side that first week where you’d been in and out of consciousness had changed your life. You wanted to return that favor to someone else. You wanted to help as much as you could.

After that, things were calm. You were mostly left alone except for the occasional monk coming to check on Jax and ask you questions about him. Hours later, Liu joined you. You sat in silence while you occasionally dabbed the sweat from Jax’s feverish face.

You hoped more than ever that he made it. Helping someone like that formed a deep connection.

“Do you have any idea when Kung Lao will be back?” Liu broke the silence, his voice soft as if worried he’d wake your patient. You were confident that Jax wasn’t waking up again anytime soon. You turned to him curiously but he was avoiding your eyes. It wasn’t something he often did anymore but every now and then, especially when discussing Kung Lao, you caught him doing it.

You’d never spoken about it again. He’d been a perfect gentleman ever since and had respected your decision. It had been a strange few months after you’d woken up but then things were like nothing had ever happened between you. Like you hadn’t struggled with the chemistry between you. Just like that, Liu Kang was one of your best friends. Even then, this new relationship had huge boundaries. And that was okay.

You knew that time would bring more comfort.

“I haven’t seen him for about a week. He thought he’d be back around the same time as me. I imagine it won’t be too long.” You shrugged. You weren’t Kung Lao’s keeper even though most people acted like you were. And you were worried that he was alone. Yes, he was perfectly capable. Yes, he was one of the most talented warriors you’d ever known. But you had also foreseen his death. Every moment you were apart you were nervous that it would happen without you being there to protect him.

Your vision had taken place in the temple. Of that you were certain.

“You haven’t heard from him since?”

“No. Sometimes we don’t get to talk when we’re separated.” It wasn’t as easy as it had been before life at Raiden’s Temple where technology had put information at your fingertips. There was no cell service or anything like that in the temple. Besides, Lao couldn’t be trusted with technology anyway. Liu nodded in understanding then hung his head.

“…I have a bad feeling.” Liu confessed, his thumb brushing over the prayer beads in his palm.

“Me too.” You admitted for the first time out loud. Liu Kang placed a hand gently on your shoulder. It was a rare touch. You almost never touched these days. He was very careful not to touch you with the rare exception of when you were sparring. Even then, he was adept at keeping his hands to himself.

“Be on your guard, Y/N.” He stood. “Do you mind continuing to keep an eye on him?”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Liu bowed his thanks and then left.

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blysse-and-blunder · 3 years

Text

in lieu of a commonplace book

6pm, sunday, sept 12, 2021

what, again? i hear you cry. yeah, me too. this is a quick a roundup after the zeroth week of the term which is promising to be the most chaotic yet.

reading finished watership down! i get the reputation that this book has now, for making cute woodland creatures dark and dramatic-- but it was the mythological/linguistic/poetic stuff that i liked the most. the lapine vocab just always ended up...sounding and tasting very satisfying, good mouth feel. and at last section with the assault on efrafra was so stressful-- and the various twist endings!-- and i was glad to realize that i'd gotten personally invested in a couple of characters; seeing bigwig in the epilogue, having grown old, having survived, hit me hard.

i also finished the chosen and the beautiful, and turned around and have told everyone i talk to about it. i've also picked up aliette de bodard's in the vanisher's palace, and it has been reminding me incessantly about the d*sney film raya and the last dragon, which i watched a little bit of on the plane to nyc. like!! the world building, the dragons, the post-apoc setting, the big gay energy. this novel seems to only have characters who use she or they pronouns, and they address pronouns in some interesting ways too, to convey formality, register, intimacy between characters, etc. i wish the overall writing style was less variable though-- the geometry of the titular palace is meant to be anti-geometric, nausea-inducing, dizzying, and sometimes the jumps from scene to scene almost mirror that?

listening this is my memo to myself to click on my mutuals' music links more often. i took a chance on @girlfriendsofthegalaxy's cowboy-joke post of miya folick's "stop talking (about that boy)" and then spent a solid week on a miya folick kick, just listening to her same album premonitions. i don't know if i can shoehorn my dnd character's backstory into the lyrics of "deadbody", but something about the righteous fury in her voice, it really does feel like faertrin, and in my head it's an anthem for my weird little man. please listen to it for its own sake, though, the video makes it clear that it's really about domestic violence vel sim, not dnd revolutionaries.

youtube

watching nothing quite like getting to the end of the timeskip in the untamed in grand style, with lotus root and rib soup made by the inimitable @pep-squad-lizzie, a heartbreaking montero powerpoint by @dimir-charmer, dessert by @hematiterings, and emperor's smile by me, after nearly eight months of working on this show together. y'all. the catharsis. i can start posting things from my drafts folder now that Certain Characters are dead, thank god, i only have uhhhhh 1k drafts or so.

playing my dnd campaign one resumes tomorrow! they're all coming over to my back porch, for my first time hosting after being in this group for more than a year! i'm feeling extremely normal about this!

making a housemate and i threw some brownies together last night, while keeping out of the way as an outgoing housemate moved out-- it went fairly quickly, wasn't nearly as tense as i was afraid it was, and we sent them away with a mushy brownie piece each. phew.

working on in a rare moment of only having one (more or less) project to work on, i actually sent my prof a draft outline of the paper the same week i had planned to, as well as the updated draft of the intro essay with all the changes she asked for. now to...outline a diss proposal..........spent thursday being back in an academic library for the first time since march 2020, which was fine, even mildly comical as i watched new students try to navigate the stacks elevators, it was very like 'well this is business as usual and not even that nostalgic' up until i stepped into one of the classrooms in this particular niche topic-specific library on campus, which just looked so...hopeful and nervous and expectant, with its carefully marked seats and hand sanitizers. when will there be an in-person palaeography class in there again? not this fall. but the room is ready. :')

#weekly roundup #ilcb #in lieu of a commonplace book #i post these like 'tra la la i read BOOKS #when in reality i should be admitting to the truly astronomical amounts of fic i consumed this weekend #astronomical i tell you

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blufox234isadumbname · 3 years

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day 100 of waiting since 1st jan, about the 185 since the first appearance on ocotber 7th, and possibly 178 days since the last

my essay on why the dreamon hunters would be nice to bring back on the SMP (mostly because I’m stubborn)

(foreword for this, i tried to get it proof read but no one has responded so i guess take the first draft, I’ll probably work on one more in depth if i have time but you get this instead, I’m also a bit rusty with my essay writing, this isn’t really a argumentative, because there’s not a valid counter argument but its no discursive either. It’s just being obsessed with Dreamon Hunters and very fixated on it coming back. This was written from two days ago, finished yesterday)

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7th of October 2020, a fateful day. With golden hoes digging etching a protective barrier, a fox draped in a vest and tie crouched along towards the quartz mansion. A kid much young is carefully behind him, luring an unknowing masked man to the dirt altar site. Fundy and Tubbo streamed their perspective of their Dreamon Hunting experience for a short subplot on the ever-popular Dream SMP. Amidst the political satire and the war-frenzied state the SMP was at the time, Dreamons lurk about within everyone. Dark, malicious sides of every soul, a part filled with nothing but twisted desires. It’s interesting ever since then, more unexplainable and supernatural things have popped up. Yet when these things are brought up, the Dreamon Hunters have only been mentioned barely by the members. Despite the teasing, not much activity from the Dreamon Hunters has actually been observed. It is a shame to see the Dreamon Hunters Campsite collect dust, merely another monument to pass by. However, hope seems to shine upon the seemingly abandoned concept of Dreamons on the Dream SMP, as DreamXD makes a more plot-relevant appearance. And so, Dreamon Hunters might be needed once more.

The Dreamon Hunters have much potential, there's already a good opportunity to use them. They are a group dedicated to eradicating all the Dreamons in the SMP. Many tend to associate them as a ghost-hunting type group. A group to observe, investigate and, of course, eliminate Dreamons. Adding onto the fact that the word “Dreamon” is merely a variation of “demons”, there’s an occult aspect to the Dreamon Hunters. Although, the supernatural and paranormal phenomena are not out of place for a Minecraft server, with an infectious Red Egg spreading influence and canonical voices living rent-free in one’s head. The Dreamon Hunters seem to be the type of group seeking out these enigmatic singularities, the type wanting to research these occurrences. After all, something must explain these things – it's only a matter of who will do it first? With most preoccupied in other affairs of abolishing governments and monitoring a prisoner, the Dreamon Hunters seem to a good candidate to get to the bottom of these bizarre circumstances. After all, they have a containment pit where they contain shit.

One of those supernatural occurrences, the very first of it actually, would be DreamXD. Canonically, DreamXD is a godly deity. An immortal creature beyond the mortal realm, only crossing over to please a simple dethroned mushroom king. DreamXD’s first-ever appearance on the SMP was caused by the Dreamon Hunters themselves; he was the result of an exorcism that split him and his counterpart, Dream, apart (albeit by a probably not canon method, as we send our condolences to the Fundywastaken shippers). If DreamXD continues to be more plot-relevant, it will become even more essential for the Dreamon Hunters to come back to light. After all, they were responsible for his current association of godhood mostly. Additionally, his slight side comments on pesky “hunters” hint towards their future involvement. Maybe they will find out more about the Dreamon, perhaps with George’s assistance. A further look into DreamXD’s history will be a further look into Dream himself, how they are connected and what exactly the smiley masked tyrant is doing with such a malevolent being. With the Dreamon Hunters actively looking into the Dreamon’s happenings, maybe more questions about the allusive Dream will be answered

With their adventures to reign in the supernatural, it will allow the Dreamon Hunters themselves to reveal more of themselves. The first of the Dreamon Hunters, Tubbo, has been notably focused on making sure Dream commits no other atrocities. Sooner or later, Tubbo will catch wind of DreamXD making rounds again. As a grand Dreamon Hunter, he would be inevitable. Dreamons upon his property, his home will obviously not be welcomed. When the situation doesn’t call for full-on nuclear warfare, he may as well don an old uniform and pick up that golden hoe again. All to ensure at least the most important people to him are safe. Micheal, Ranboo, Tommy, anyone he just about he cares for.

Adding onto that, his protégé will get the spotlight too. It was only recently that Fundy had gotten a plotline with attention; most of his arcs seem to not have a potential payoff until the recent “Fundy’s Mind” on 31st of March, 2021. It seems as though Fundy’s dreams can become a whole new subplot itself, alongside involvement with the Las Nevadas arc which it seems it will heavily relate. If Tubbo starts up the Dreamon Hunters again, he will most likely drag Fundy back in too. Dreamon Hunters was one of the few subplots he almost had an ample amount of screentime, his involvement much more prominent. Upon finding out a Dreamon is back again, he’ll most likely spring back into the hunting business too. Possibly a way to explain his premonition illness, to explain how these dreams seep into reality.

And let's not forget the most recent addition to the Dreamon Hunters – Sapnap. The closest to both the Dreamon’s possessed victim and to the one the Dreamon seems to swoon over. Sapnap, in the SMP, has not many associations, only the Kinoko Kingdom and his position as a prison guard. Sapnap has always been in the lore, though not as prominently as others. If the Dreamon Hunters start back up, Sapnap will have to face DreamXD, a malicious reflection of his friend. He and his relationship with Dream has always seemed important, so a chance to possibly help his friend would be appealing.

I’ve always liked their brief interactions, their motivations in the lore can be intertwined too. There’s even more common ground between other stories too, since each of the Dreamon hunters seemingly part of many other storylines. Tubbo with Snowcheseter possibly against the Syndicate, Sapnap a part of the Kinoko Kingdom and now Fundy with Las Nevadas in the future. The Dreamon Hunters can ties some knots together if only they came back officially. Whether it will come soon or even later, the Dreamon Hunters are too good of a potential plotline to leave out. Someday, they’ll return clad in dark cyan trenchcoats over crimson red sweaters, stitched with gold from radio frequencies. Someday, they’ll return with gilded axes and golden hoes already sharpened for a fight. Someday, the Dreamon Hunters will return, to get rid of one last pesky Dreamon.

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tldr: pls i just want my dear fundy tubbo and sapnap to come back please god i just want them back and hunt dreamons please please please i only partially care that george has something to do with it just please god-

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macabrecabra · 3 years

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Fanfic Update: This year I’m going to up my writing game again. Feel I fell off the train. I fell off the train on so much looking back on 2021...I think I was the least creative I’ve been in years .__. NEED TO CHANGE starting with getting back into writing! Below the cut are the updates on the fics to come this year!

Fate Grand Order: Burning Out Like Dying Stars: A gift fanfic of a very odd ship for a friend that was gonna be a short one off, but it has grown and is now getting chunky! Plan to post it when it is fully completed and divided up nicely c: In Time This Too Shall Pass: I am going to finish this fic this year or so help me >8I Goal is write it to completion then edit it really nice, just to make sure the whole end flows well! This las leg introduces and ties up a lot of things so....have to make sure things get done

Only Gods in Heaven Shed Frozen Tears: A large bleach fic I have been wanting to write since high school, finally going to get it out of my head! Think I’m a good enough writer to finally tackle it

Hawk and Rabbit: This Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn fanfic is one I rewrite every decade or so...it is due for its decade update!

Hades: At the Divine Crossroads: Hades fic I’ve written a first draft of for NANO but not entirely pleased with the direction, so it is in second draft as I rework the ideas c:

#Maca speaks #Fanfiction updates #gonna get things DONE

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timextoxhajima · 4 years

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death to 2020

cause fuck 2020 lmao

disclaimer: im usually a really brutally honest person with alot of vulgarities because that’s how strongly i feel about stuff im willing to talk about, so... brace yourself for alot of vulgarities and occasionally a word you wouldn’t understand cause it’s a singaporean vulgarity

now where the FUCK do i start?

i started 2020 really happy, though i was still reeling from the shit relationship i was in for most of 2019. he was a cunt and we broke up in september 2019. i got attached again in feb 2020 to a guy i was seeing from late 2019.

ANYWAY

my tumblr journey began in july (i don’t fkin remember what date it was anymore because it doesn’t matter) and long story short, tumblr has become my escape from reality. as most of you know i’ve been writing since 2014, just never touched this platform until 2016 because i was busy reading smuts WUPS but decided i wanted a more interactive platform with my readers so i ended up here.

ANYWAY X2

below is the list of people i wna thank for making my tumblr journey so much more worthwhile, though we might not be close. i also don’t take note of my moots so im so fucking sorry if i missed you out, seriously just drop me an angry ask and ill bow down at your feet.

ANYWAY X3 LET’S BEGIN

to qiu: @stealerz

for being the little sister but like, my sunbae? LMAO uk how when a younger idol debuts but they meet an older idol that debuts later lmao yeah that’s us. i always find it honorable that you come to me for advice, and while i am known among my friends for giving great advice, i never fucking agreed because more often than not, i don’t follow my OWN advice. so qiu acts like a reminder that hey, maybe i shd stfu and listen to myself. but i really wna thank qiu for keeping me in the circle because im not one to initiate conversations (EVER) and she’s always the one talking to me about sch stuff which actually grounds me? makes me believe that school and my virtual reality can still coincide. thank you for being such an amazing friend, for being a person i actually feel close to because...? proximity? HAHAH but anyways, happy death to 2020, love.

to yu: @lsangyeons

for trusting me so much with whatever you tell me about your life. i’m someone who doesn’t offer trust easily, and even if it does seem like i do, there are alot more things i tend to keep from people about my private life, so i know exactly how it feels to talk to someone you only know online about the things that bug us. your drawings are so fucking amazing and adorable, it’s just endearing to see that hardwork come out in something else besides writing (because that’s all ive been fkin doing lolz). i hope 2021 treats you alot better, because you deserve it. HAPPY DEATH TO 2020.

to bella: @fullsunsays

for also trusting me with your emotional breakdowns (i hope you are alright with me saying this here because you talk about it on your acc every now and then but if you’re uncomfortable just give me a sound out and i’ll get rid of it). i just get so fking flattered because it just feels like you feel safe around me? and that? you treat me like a safe space? ion know it’s just all pretty new to me, about being in this online community. thank you for screaming with me/at me about different things, thank you for being so endearing with my shit, and i hope nothing but a better year for you. happy death to 2020, my love.

to violet: @yunhoiseyecandy

for putting up with my nonsense every now and then and being so accepting to my feral side. i dont know if its because i know you’re an ateez stan and yknow ateez stans are usually more feral than tbz stans (idk i rlly dont) and like, i just find myself screaming to you every now and then and you’d do the same and it gives me ‘a pair of dumb feral bimbo’ vibes so, i dont know what i’d do without you, honestly. sometimes you’re the reminder that i have ateez stuff in my drafts or sitting in my laptop waiting to be published and youre a reminder that half my masterlist is also ateez content LOL. we don’t rlly talk about our private lives much but i definitely appreciate you way more than you think. happy death to 2020, vio.

to gina: @sunlightwoo

for closing the gap so quickly! i earnestly dont remember how we got to be moots and all i remember is you screaming to me about smth and i screamed back and we just clicked from there, ion know LMAO. i love it that you’re so endearing and so patient with my shit and the stuff you write! omg. not many things make my heart flutter and BEST BELIEVE i DIED when i read your eric fic for the 12 days of christmas collab. we don’t rlly know much about our private lives and that’s alright, but i just want you to know that you deserve everything. happy death to 2020, gina!

to daisy: @sangyeon-lee

for confusing the fuck outta me when you switched from a fluffy yunho (??) mydaintydaisy to sangyeon as ur dp and sangyeon lee as ur user i was like ???? who the fuc-- OH. BUT YOU ARE SO FUCKING SWEET like i swear on GOD you are that one friend in the grp of girls that bakes cookies and give hugs and offer sweets and... give more hugs i really can’t uwu. (but now that your dp has changed i might have second thoughts hm). anyhow, we haven’t really interacted much besides in the 12 days of christmas collab gc but i just want you to know that i appreciate you in my notifs SO MUCH and i just hope we have a chance to get closer. happy death to 2020, daisy.

to han @fleurseoul, april @tbzlvr and ri @sunwoowuvbot

for being such amazing readers, for constantly giving me encouragement, for always being my first notes or reblogs and i NEVER miss out on reading your tags like EVER because they are what keeps me going and keeps me motivated to keep writing. like, i really have no words to describe the gratitude i have.

ANYWAY X4

below are the moots in my awareness (because im a fucking idiot ngl) that i appreciate and hope we can get to know each other better uwu

@elcie-chxn @experimentalwrites @ddadadada @chaoticdeobi @atbzkingdom @micaronn (i feel like i have a fuckload more but my goldfish brain cannot handle it lmao)

please send me an angry ask if i’ve missed you out >:(

ANYWAY x5

here’s to a better 2021, here’s to a year that’s not so much of a shitshow. here’s to the death of 2020. PEACE OUT.

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official-alan-dabiri · 3 years

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First and foremost, we have some exciting new changes that everyone can get behind. Absolutely nobody has a problem with the new experience globe mechanics. New experience globes are only at full value for six seconds, and after that are worth 25% exp. And then they last for thirty-nine seconds. Nobody finds this objectionable in any way. This change was not on the PTR due to public outcry from Reddit when it was leaked early, but it’s here live with all of its zero problems fixed.

Another change about which we have received zero complaints is a new tag system behind the scenes. People looking for just the right hero for the situation can easily find it by searching for such keywords as “CC” “Silence” “Sustain” and “Double soak” and find extremely useful and not absolute garbage results. Don’t worry about checking it ahead of time, just get right into draft mode and use it to find the perfect pick!

In addition to those minor and unobjectionable changes, we have removed Volskaya Foundry from the ranked queue, and added everyone’s favorite quickmatch map, Warhead Junction. We have also done this simultaneously with an Overwatch-themed event.

Hero changes below the cut, because this patch is another doozy, with fiiiiiive herooooo rewoooooorks, Four buffed assassins, three nerfed offlaners, two nerfed tanks and we also nerfed the looost viiiikiiiings!

Anduin is the first of our reworks and with him taking a more prominent role in Shadowlands we want to be able to welcome WoW players with open arms. He, uh, doesn’t have a new skin or anything, we just want people to play this game. The central goal of the buff is to improve his healing output in line with other heroes without removing the largest strength in Leap of Faith. As such, we’re just touching literally every part of his kit and talent try and praying that it goes the way we want.

People keep mistaking Johanna for the best tank in the game. This is factually untrue, since Muradin exists. As such, we are just gutting the absolute pants off of Johanna’s talent tree and making it weird and clunky.

For too long has Raynor been the scourge of draft play. Too good to skip, but not scary enough to ban. Perfect macro contributions, with respectable hero damage. Enough self-sustain to take weight off your healer, and self-peel for when tanks are bad. The perfect killing machine. As such, we’ve nerfed his damage into the ground. Start playing Greymane, bitches.

Stitches has proven to be a mediocre bruiser in the eyes of the community. After all these years, I think I know why. We accidentally categorized him as a tank. As such, he needs some serious changes to make him fit that label. This whole time we’ve been balancing him as a bruiser and nobody said anything? This is as much your fault as it is mine.

The average damage output of a ranged assassin has been steadily climbing for a while now. As a result, for a hero to actually be a glass cannon, they need some serious firepower. Valla now has the gunpowder to match her glass. And she’s the glassiest cannon there is. Don’t get me wrong, she still evaporates like a drop of water in California when an enemy hero looks at her. But when she has a solid tank and three healers behind her, the world is your oyster.

Oh my god they didn’t break down the heroes by category. Jesus Christ what the fuck Blizzard? You just decided that this is the line? This is the day you stop caring? Well, congratulations, you’ve made reading your patch notes mildly more inconvenient. I’m still doing this. Ya bunch of jack-offs.

Mei has been grossly overperforming, and we have no idea how that happened. We certainly didn’t buff her over and over again for an entire year. Anyway, we’re just going to roll some stuff back. Definitely probably fine.

It turns out - and bear with me here because this might be hard to follow - Hogger, D.va, and Sonya were all overtuned? For six months? So we’re just gonna tippy tappy them down the smallest little bit. And then slap them around a little for good measure. D.va’s mech form is no longer indomitable, Hogger can no longer solo any merc camp in the game in 12 seconds, and Sonya is now... Basically fine still, honestly. We kinda gave her just a slap on the wrist in comparison. But honestly after gutting Hogger like that, I just didn’t have the heart. One of the benefits from being a little later, alphabetically.

After riding the TLV train up through the ranks, I think it’s about time to recognize that I’m not actually good at them. They’re just overtuned. So it’s time to come back to earth, Icarus. Don’t be fooled by the seemingly-small HP nerf, though. The real nerf is buffing Longboat Raid. People are going to have to pick it to test it and it’s gonna murder their winrate.

Someone told me that Lucio is a problem and needed to be addressed this patch, but my cat came into the home office being adorable so I didn’t hear exactly what they said. So we had to kinda wing it. Hopefully these minor adjustments to his talent tree will solve whatever they were talking about!

Even we know Uther is a problem. Being first pickable and filling three different unique roles was what we wanted to do with Varian not Uther. So we’re going to try and make him incrementally worse at tanking until he just goes away. First up: Shaving off some of that personal armor.

AFK splitpush trash Azmodan is dead. Long live teamfight artillery mage Azmodan. Really glad I made the last HotS Content post about Nova instead of Azmodan because boy howdy do these changes invalidate the entire playstyle that post would have discussed.

W build Falstad has obviously become a problem. Not only was he riddled with bugs after the rework - don’t worry, we learned from our mistakes and made sure there were no bugs with our new reworks - but also he had the ability to point and click on an enemy hero and force them to run all the way to the next lane over in order to stop taking buckets of free damage. It turns out that ability was more powerful than anticipated, and required adjustment.

Q build Falstad has obviously become a problem. Not only was it completely overshadowed by a build that did more damage in every situation with less skill requirement, but we overestimated the value of macro power on a build that demands PvP for stacking. As such, we’ve doubled the amount of power each stack gives him! That’ll do.

AA build Falstad... Stay the course, buddy. Doin’ fine.

Junkrat has been underperforming, which is surprising for a hero with his level of power. As such, we’re going to make a few small buffs to hopefully draw attention, and then we can roll things back once the pickrate reflects his actual power. Hopefully then WE CAN FINALLY MAKE THE MANDATORY CHANGE I PUT IN EVERY MEMO. TYRE. WITH A Y. THAT’S HOW THEY SPELL IT IN AUSTRALIA. KAEO I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU- wait, did Kaeo leave? Who the fuck is still here? Kinnabrew? Adam? Jason? JASON! JASON!?

Tassadar has also fallen off a lot without us having done anything at all whatsoever to nerf him. Entirely undeserved treatment. I’m disappointed in all of you. As such, we’re going to tweak his numbers up just a little tippy tap so that you all remember who killed the Overmind. It wasn’t James Raynor or Sarah Kerrigan. It was Tassadar... Tassadar Bassadar. That’s his last name. Don’t look it up, just trust me.

In the bug fix department, we’ve had a nice sit-down with the Mountain Giants on Alterac and told them that if they have time to lean, they have time to clean. Reaching the end of their lane and expecting the core to come to them is putting undue stress on an already overtaxed position. The core is a very stressful job, and if the mountain giants could just do their part to walk into the core pit when they arrive, that’s a huge load off their shoulders. Drek’thar and Vanndar really needed this expectation taken off them right now, and I’m hopeful it will lead to a better work environment.

#Heroes of the Storm #patch notes #Don't message me telling me Tassadar's real last name #I know it's De La Cruz

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radramblog · 4 years

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Every Boros Commander, Part 1

Every one of these rambles is going to be longer and nerdier than the last, I guess. We’ll see how long I can keep that up for.

If you aren’t or haven’t been at least a casual fan of Magic: The Gathering, this post is going to be completely lost on you, sorry.

Oh also I’m having to split this in half since it took basically all afternoon to write and its still juuuust not done.

Boros gets a lot of shit for being bad and having bad generals for EDH until recently, and seeing as its my favourite two-colour pair I felt like exploring, well, every option we have for the combo. I’m excluding the new Commander Legends partner commanders in this, since I don’t have all day, and I’m also not covering Akiri and Bruse Tarl since no-one ever builds just Boros with them, and I’m not including 3-5 colour decks that just happen to have red and white in them. That’s not Boros.

Boros’s strengths are in manipulating combat, in tokens, and with Voltron strategies. It is the best pair for Equipment decks and top tier for Aggressive decks, to the point of being arguably shoehorned by WOTC into such strategies for a long time. Its weaknesses are mostly to do with card draw and ramp, possibly the most important things in a casual game of Commander, but the former is alleviated by many of red’s recent card draw options and the latter easily supplemented with mana rocks- if you have enough money, any deck can have good ramp, but enough budget options exist these days that it isn’t too bad even for the “worst colors”.

Anyway, enough beating around the bush lets get into this. Going in Chronological order.

Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran (29th most played as of writing)

…It seriously took until Ravnica to get a legendary RW creature? Heinous. Cool as Agrus is as protagonist of the Ravnica novel, his card simply does not hold up in 2021, let alone beforehand. He’s a Glorious Anthem style commander, except he works best only with creatures that are both red and white, and not nearly enough cards produce multicolored tokens for him to boost. Oh, also he’s a 5 mana 3/3 with no protection or evasion that has to attack to get his effect. Save it for the novel.

Razia, Boros Archangel (30th most played as of writing, the last place finalist)

Speaking of Ravnica. Razia is fucking cool, between the art and unique, if underwhelming, activated ability. She is also 8 mana and not green. She is the only commander to my knowledge that can redirect damage to opponents’s creatures, so if that’s the deck you want to build, go for it, though enjoy the distressingly small cardpool. God, they couldn’t have given her an extra power, could they?

Brion Stoutarm (6th most played as of writing)

Brion is the first actually viable commander of the bunch, being a pretty decent head to either a Fling deck with Ball Lightnings or Acts of Treason, or just Giant Tribal with his Lorwyn compatriots. I don’t think I’ve ever seen or played against Brion yet, but I’d be interested in doing so. Having lifegain in the command zone with a deck that likes throwing damage around is pretty nice. It’s surprising that he’s still so high, especially considering EDHREC (my data source) only now pulls from the last 2 years of decks, but I’m certainly not sad to see him there.

Jor Kadeen, the Prevailer (19th most played as of writing)

Spoilers: Jor is actually the best Anthem commander. +3/+0 is huge, and when most of your ramp and some of your draw is artifacts you’re not going to have a hard time getting metalcraft. 5 mana is a fair chunk for an aggressive deck but he turns the damage output up enough notches that I think he’s pretty good. Underrated in my opinion. How are there more Tajic, Legion’s Edge decks than Jor Kadeen decks?

Basandra, Battle Seraph (24th most played as of writing)

Basandra is the head of my current Boros deck, being a pillowfort/combat manipulation deck. She’s, uh, not ideal in that even, since she stops even you from casting removal and such during combat. Having an extra must attack effect in the zone is nice, though, and a flying commander can be nice for closing games out. Basandra at least has the gift of being fairly open-ended, but also, she doesn’t really do anything, so that’s probably got something to do with it.

On a side note, fuck you Terese Nielsen for turning out to be a cunt. No-one else seems to have drawn this character, so I can’t even make an alter. Fuck.

Gisela, Blade of Goldnight (10th most played as of writing)

Gisela has a lot of very attractive words on her. Unfortunately, 7 mana and that ability means that as soon as you drop her out of the zone, you better use her quick because she isn’t sticking around long. Obviously lends herself to group slug or Earthquake decks, but the former paints an even bigger target on your head and the latter is even mana hungrier than normal. I prefer her in the 99.

Aurelia, the Warleader (5th most played as of writing)

Aurelia was the “best” Boros commander for a long time, and it’s easy to see why- haste and an extra combat trigger add up to a lot of damage very quickly and it’s not like there was much competition for a while. She’s actually the only one of the top 5 Boros commanders that wasn’t printed in the last 5 years, so I guess she’s stood the test of time, much like Brion. I’d argue she’s pretty boring though, seeing as she has the one thing she does, but she does it well and there’s no faulting her for that. She’s the closest we have to r/custommagic’s favourite “double combat triggers” legend. A lot of people seem to run her as Angel Tribal too, which of the available Angels in the zone I’d argue that’s a pretty good shout. The Red/Boros Angels are fun!

Tajic, Blade of the Legion (20th most played as of writing)

The first on this list I’d consider playing as Voltron, Tajic’s first card is indestructible which as a former Sapling of Colfenor player is fucking excellent in the zone for when you have to play defensively. He does, however, require other creatures in the deck to truly shine, and you do have to have those creatures attack, so it can be awkward to get the most out of him. He’s a cool dude though, much better than his other card imo.

Anax and Cymede (23rd most played as of writing)

The first draft I ever played was a Born of the Gods draft in which I splashed Anax and Cymede. Clearly, I had no idea what I was doing. Anax and Cymede look a lot like Tajic in deck, to be honest, since they’re creatures that like having buffs but also want other creatures around to benefit. Heroic is kind of an awkward requirement, however, and I suspect you’d be spending more time just having it as a buff for the royals themselves. Its nice to see a loving married couple as a Magic card, though, I’m sure things will be good for them always.

Iroas, God of Victory (9th most played as of writing)

Somehow despite it being common in the 99 of aggressive decks, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an Iroas deck in my local metas. I think it has the potential to be pretty powerful, since if you can meet his (admittedly harsh) requirement he’s an indestructible evasive commander with that magical 7 power making commander damage a 3HKO. And when he’s not ready to rumble, he’s nigh impossible to kill on account of the limited targeted enchantment exile people tend to play in the format. Otherwise, he makes attacking free and bountiful for other creatures, and so is just kinda good to have around- I can see running him for that alone.

Munda, Ambush Leader (27th most played as of writing)

Somehow more people are playing Munda than Razia or Agrus, despite being just the worst commander with Ally in the text (outside the type line, love you Zada) and not doing actual anything outside of that. Why the fuck doesn’t he draw the cards? Why does he just stack them? God, Munda sucks. Also I have like 3 of them, since I drafted a lot of that deck in that environment and people just pass him around. Anyone want one? Be my guest.

Kalemne, Disciple of Iroas (11th most played as of writing)

Precon face commanders always get a bit more love and a bit more power than the average legend, and Kalemne is no exception. Double Strike in the zone on a creature that gets bigger is just nuts, and it means she kills people astonishingly quickly. Even my non-voltron Kalemne deck that just wanted to play big idiots had her as a huge threat since even if she gets killed she stays big. Kalemne also happens to be probably better for Giant tribal than Brion, though he does at least get to yeet those removal magnets if they do get removed.

Anya, Merciless Angel (26th most played as of writing)

I didn’t think Anya would be this low. While she is another indestructible commander, it is conditional, and her abilities are self-sabotaging- if someone is in range of being killed by her, you’re probably not going to want to attack them just so you can keep indestructible and buffs, but you also, yknow, want to kill them. I can see her being political in this way though- keeping someone alive with her swords at their throat can have some fun implications. I think shes underrated despite her awkwardness.

Archangel Avacyn (14th most played as of writing)

(Her colour identity is RW since her other face is a red creature. It’s a bit odd, I know)

Avacyn was fucking unbeatable in draft and obnoxious in Standard (though one of my favourite magic stories involves her, so,), and since I never managed to get one for Kalemne when that deck was around I have no real love for her. She’s generically powerful without leading in a particular direction, but her flip ability is pretty cool as is her story in the set. It’s OK. Also why do people keep putting her in Angel decks? You know she doesn’t flip off those, right?

Adriana, Captain of the Guard (22nd most played as of writing)

Adriana, Adriana. I didn’t dislike Adriana as much as I did until I actually did the math on her. Typical commander games are 4-player, so she is a +3/+3 anthem at maximum assuming you have good attacks on every single opponent and that none of them are dead yet. I’m really not sure why you’d play this over Jor Kadeen, and it looks like people aren’t, so. Melee was a fun mechanic in draft, but I completely understand why it hasn’t crossed over, ever, to other formats, seeing as there are 7 total cards with it and most of them are draft chaff. CONTINUED IN PART 2...ANOTHER DAY. PROBABLY SOON SINCE IT’S 2/3 DONE ALREADY.

#mtg #commander #edh #ramble #boros #fuck you adriana

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rune-writes · 3 years

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I'll Come Visit

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

@zerith-week » Day 2: Promise

Word Count: 2344

Rating: G

Summary: All Zack ever gave Aerith were promises: promises of a date, to see the sky, and to come visit after he returns from Nibelheim.

Chapter 2 of Of Wishes and Promises: Zerith Week 2021

Read on AO3.

~*~*~*~*~

All Zack ever gave Aerith were promises. The first was the promise of a date, the first time he met her when he dropped out of the sky and onto her flowerbed. The second was to show her the sky, because it wasn’t as scary as she thought, and he wanted her to see it. Then he bought her a ribbon and said they should make fun, little promises for when they next met.

“For example, when we meet, you always have to dress in pink.”

Aerith giggled and said that was silly, and it was, but it’d be fun. So she nodded and said okay and wondered what kind of pink dress she had that she could wear.

Then just before he left for Nibelheim, they went to the Sector 6 playground to sell flowers. Operation: Midgar Full of Flowers, Wallet Full of Money seemed to have a good start. The blooms were a big hit. One woman wished she could see them grow all around the slums.

“Yeah, that’s me and Aerith’s dream,” Zack said. “Not just the slums, either. We want to fill the whole of Midgar with flowers!”

Only a dream then, one he hoped would come true once he returned to Midgar, when he could finally take her to the city above and sell flowers under the sky together.

***

Zack sighed at the heavens above as he lay on his back. Thin wisps of cotton-soft clouds drifted past; though, did anyone really know whether clouds were cotton-soft? An age-old imagery that originated from how it looked from the ground, made by people who had too much time on their hands with too little thoughts in their minds.

Zack had too much time on his hands now. With Sephiroth having locked himself in the mansion’s library and still no lead on their investigation, there had been nothing to do but check on the reactor every day. Everything stayed the same. The monsters still slept in their pods, no more reactor malfunctioning, no more signs of Genesis—or any other intruders for that matter.

Cloud would grab any chance he could get to accompany Zack. Probably to escape the town and its people. Probably to be near their ebony-haired guide. He couldn’t blame the guy, and he had no intention to interfere, but sometimes, Zack would look at his stubborn younger friend and wish Cloud would let loose and show them who he really was. Not a SOLDIER, but still a proud member of Shinra’s infantrymen. They’d understand.

When the time came to return to town, he let the two kids go on ahead, saying he wanted to explore more of the mountain. Tifa offered to come with him, but Zack refused. It was still light out. If he’d gotten lost, his SOLDIER pride would be at stake.

Zack had expected a chuckle at the very least, but his guide only stared at him and said, “Okay.” Then she looked at the grunt and nodded her head down the mountain path. “Shall we, then?”

Grunt Cloud jerked, and for a fraction of a second, his wild, panicked eyes met Zack’s through his helmet visor. Zack waited until Tifa had turned and walked away before he slapped Cloud on the back and whispered, “You got this.”

“I got this.” A self-reassuring nod; Cloud gripped his rifle tighter before following Tifa down the mountain. They walked with a little distance between them, but never too far apart. Zack watched, a little grin playing across his lips.

He’d set off in another direction then: a greener, more life-abundant direction; a contrast to the barren, jagged mountain he’d left behind. He’d found the clearing shortly after, with trees on one side and a sheer drop on the other. It overlooked the Nibel plains and the small town below with the clear blue sky stretching far into the horizon.

Fragments of a cloud broke away into little dots, collecting in places that, somehow, reminded him of the yellow blossoms he’d find growing under the shades of a dilapidated church. Thoughts of the blossoms led to thoughts of the flower girl, and Zack couldn’t help but draw another long breath.

It’d been a week since he arrived in Nibelheim, longer still since he last saw Aerith. The closest interaction he'd gotten was the phone call mere days after reaching the mountain village. His PHS had rung when he’d been about to go to the mansion, and it had taken him by surprise when her voice came out of the receiver. But he’d been too busy then, so he’d told her that he’d call later.

“No, no, you don’t have to.” There had been a slight drop to her tone.

He'd pressed his lips together. “Okay, then I’ll come visit.”

“I’ll be here.”

Zack hadn't missed the momentary pause or the wistful sigh, hadn't forgotten her downcast eyes when he told her he would leave Midgar for a job. There had been nothing else he could say but: “I’ll see you, I promise.” He could almost see her smile as he hung up, hoping it had been enough until he returned to her side.

The drifting clouds offered a brief respite from the sun's harsh glare. Summer had long since gone and autumn was well on its way, but Zack still felt hot. Hot and restless and sweaty and wishing he was back under the cover of the church, where a ray of pleasant sunlight slanted in through the broken rooftop right onto her flowerbed. He’d doze on her lap, and Aerith would weave a flower crown to put around his head, and when he opened his eyes, he would see the brightest smile he had ever seen.

Zack reached for his PHS in his pocket. He had half a mind to go to his mails before he realized Aerith didn’t have a PHS. She’d borrowed Tseng’s when she called him before. Zack didn't want to call Tseng. The last time he did, the Turk had chuckled and said that he was at work, that he had one of his men watching her and that she was safe. He would, however, send her Zack’s regards the next time he saw her. Zack's mouth twitched at the memory.

What if he called her house? Elmyra probably wouldn't mind. The last time he met her, she had acted like he was already part of the family. It made him smile and miss her homemade stew, miss the warmth of the kitchen and the vibrant colors in her garden, miss that motherly touch.

But as good as the idea sounded, it was still daylight and Aerith was probably not home. He stared at the open mail draft on his PHS screen, then typed in Kunsel's name.

‘What are you doing?’

The reply came shortly after: ‘If you resorted to mail me in the middle of a mission, I can only imagine how bored you must be feeling right now. So let me tell you some good news, friend. I visited that church your Aerith frequented and I gotta say, she is such a lively fella. You have no idea all the little details she’d asked me of you.’

Zack jumped, glaring into his PHS screen as those last few words hammered their way into his head. He dialed Kunsel’s number. Kunsel immediately picked up.

“What the hell did you think you were doing?”

On the other side of the line, Kunsel cackled—a shoulder-shaking, back-bending, stomach-hurting cackle. “Gods, I can’t believe you fell for that one.”

Zack blinked, too mortified to catch up with the joke.

“I’m on a mission, if you remember—or maybe you don’t. Different from the one when you left for Nibelheim. With our Firsts out on a mission on the other side of the Planet, it seems the top brass has decided to have the rest of us—meaning us, Second-Class—take the lead on the remaining jobs. So I’ve been away, again. Far away from your lovely girl. So you have nothing to worry about.”

Another blink. Right.

“How’s the job anyway?”

A short pause, and maybe it was the easy-going tone of his voice that made Zack's tongue loosen up and tell Kunsel about the current state of his investigation, the current state of Sephiroth, the current state of his restlessness. Then at the end of it, Kunsel chuckled.

“Even in the middle of a mission, you still got time to worry about your girl.” Zack heard a scoff, soft and amused. “She’s fine. Aren’t the Turks watching her?”

“They are…” But even knowing that, there was a disquiet in his heart that he couldn’t quite figure where it was coming from.

“Well, if it’s any help at all, I promised to check up on her, didn’t I? Once I get back from my assignment, I’ll see how she is. Does that ease you?”

It did, even if only a little.

“So just focus on your assignment right now and make sure you get your ass back in Midgar. Quick.” Then he added, “You know I have a whole folder of you sneezing out snot, right?”

“Kuns—!”

The line was cut. The last thing Zack heard was his friend's laughter. It still echoed even when Zack had put his PHS down and stared at the screen, when he laid back on the sunny grass and covered his eyes with an arm. Maybe it was a bad idea to have Kunsel check on Aerith. Who knew what the guy would show her? All the embarrassing details of Zack's life! But Kunsel was the only person Zack could trust in SOLDIER right now…

Zack let out another quiet exhale. He lifted his arm. The clouds drifting past looked uncannily like the girl with the brightest smile.

***

He called a little after dusk. Zack was alone in his room; Sephiroth was still not back; Cloud and the other grunt stood watch somewhere. A few moments passed with only the dial tone filling his ears. And then:

“Hello?”

The smile came unbidden. Like a dam about to burst, his lips wavered at the intensity of the emotions overcoming him—overwhelming him.

“Aerith?”

“Zack?” Her surprise was almost palpable. He could imagine her wide-eyed stare as she stood beneath the warm lights of her home. “This is a surprise. You're not busy?”

“Aw, don’t you miss me?”

She giggled, and it was the most beautiful sound in the entire world. “Silly.”

They talked about everything and anything: what she was doing, how her days had been. "Same old, same old," she said. Tending to her flowers, running errands around the slum, then just as she’d headed for the church, the Leaf House kids had crowded around her and asked where Zack was.

Zack chuckled. “And what’d you tell them?”

“That Zack is on a very important job right now, but he’ll be back very soon and give everyone presents.” Her laugh made him smile, and he imagined her sitting next to the pots and vases, swaying her feet and twirling her hair. He closed his eyes, committing it to memory.

“Hey, Aerith.”

“Yeah?”

When he made that promise to visit, Zack had thought they would finish their mission soon and he'd be back by Aerith's side before she knew it. But it had been a week since then, and he was still stuck in a small mountain town with nothing to do but look for missing persons who refused to be found and wait on a stubborn comrade who refused to leave.

“Think I’d have to take a rain check on that promise. I don’t think I can come back soon.”

“Oh.” She paused. “Okay.” Then, because maybe she’d noticed the hesitancy in his voice: “Is there something wrong?”

“No, no, nothing wrong.” He was quick to answer, quick to ease her worry, even as his mind went to the mansion sitting on the town's outskirts, where Sephiroth was still perusing the many thick volumes stored in the basement. The last time Zack had checked on him, he'd been unaware of Zack’s presence. It’d been like talking to a statue, if statues could walk and talk. Ceaseless mutterings; unending strides; then at times, Sephiroth would stop and look up, and Zack would sigh and thought, finally! Because the meal the townspeople had prepared still lay untouched on the table, and all of Zack’s attempts to tell him to rest had flown over his head. But like a man possessed, Sephiroth had only walked past without truly seeing him, then discarded the book in favor of another.

“Zack?”

Zack blinked, then said again, “Nothing’s wrong.” It was less convincing. “Anyway,” he went on, brightening his voice. “Did you really tell the kids I’d bring them presents?”

“Of course,” she said, her voice too chirpy, as though she’d noticed his unease and opted to play along with his act. “Well, you have to give them something , after all their efforts to learn your combat moves. They’re really taking this Protection Squad business seriously, you know.” She giggled, and he chuckled too.

The kids had been hounding him every time he took the trip beneath the plate. What was supposed to be a quality time with Aerith always ended up as sword-fighting lessons with a bunch of children. Not that he minded them. The more time Zack spent with them, the more endearing they all seemed to him.

“Then I’d better get them something really good.” He wondered if the store next door sold souvenirs. He could ask Cloud for advice. Or Tifa. “But don’t tell them yet. It’ll be a surprise.”

He could feel her smile as she said, “Sure thing.” In the distance, he heard Elmyra’s call. Aerith had to hang up. “Do you think we can talk again tomorrow?”

“Of course. I’ll call you. Or you can call me too, if you want.”

“Really? Then maybe I’ll do that.”

Zack’s lips parted into the slightest grin. “I’ll be here.” Another promise. Her goodbye was the last thing he heard before Aerith ended the call.

~ END ~

#zerith #zerithweek #zerithweek2021 #aerith gainsborough #zack fair #final fantasy #final fantasy vii #ff7 #ffvii #ff7r #ff7 crisis core #fanfiction #ff fanfic #ff7 fanfic

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bengalaas · 4 years

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A Year In Review: 2020 Writing

This has been a strange year, to say the least, and it's weird to look back at the New Year's resolutions I had for it. Writing has been complicated, with little downtime from work and uni, and the lowkey stress permeating this whole plague situation has taken a bite out of my concentration and inspiration.

But here's a review of what I still managed to get done :)

I’ve seen a different end-of-year format making rounds, but I’m using the one from last year. So if you see this, feel free to either consider yourself tagged, or just take the tag as an expression of love and thanks ♥

Writing

My main writing resolution was to finish A Different Kind of Courage (Hobbit fic, Fili/Tauriel) in summer/autumn, but that didn't work out. I did write 27′500 words for it, and I'm not giving up on that rarepair pool noodle lol. At 43'400 words it's also my second longest fic to date :D

I added a 3800w chapter to Canticle of Chaos (Loki x Dragon Age crossover). By this point I'm pretty sure that fic is kinda cursed, so I'm writing it very slowly and only when I’m feeling lucky lol. Nevertheless, I think it's some of my best writing, and it's been a great exercise in “writing for yourself”.

I also translated a wonderful series, Lucky Heart (American Gods, Laura/Sweeney), 5600 words. I absolutely loved the rich mythological and metaphorical layers of the original, and it was a treat to try and reflect the author's style in English, playing with the rhythm and the word choices. Neither English, nor Russian are my native languages, so I’m double proud of this one!

Sometime in autumn I took an unexpected detour and fell into the tiny Varric/Merrill canoe and started a series Mirrors and Manuscripts, currently featuring 2 works at 6155 w total.

And some smaller things: I polished and posted an old F!Brosca & Zevran oneshot (No Honour in Dust, 1260w), and a curious writing experiment with M!Hawke/Isabela (Asyndeton, 1040w). I'm also slowly filling the “30 Days of OC” challenge with Martin Lavellan (5800w). And there were two other DA Drunk Writing drables, but they disappeared into the void whence they came from (I accidentally deleted them).

So that’s a total of 51′100 words, which I think is not bad, considering this fun year, and actually it’s 20k more than last year :D

Beta thanks

Still no beta, the bengalaas be wild and unspellchecked.

However, I’d like to thank @hollyand-writes for a betaing opportunity :) I’m sure there’s room for improvement in how I communicate my comments, and, being a non-native English speaker, there’s stuff I can’t really comment on, but diving into things critically is something I do enjoy, so — thanks for letting me :)

Progress

I think, this year I'm getting a bit better at finishing things. Oneshots and prompts definitely have forced me to focus on keeping the right amount of tension in my writing up until the end, and then to wrap it up nicely.

I’ve started compiling glossary lists with smut expressions and vocabulary lol, and also body language, facial expressions etc. Because it’s unbelievably frustrating to clearly picture what the character is doing and completely forget what’s that gesture called in English. Glossaries save me some time.

And also... I’m learning to let fics progress at their own pace. A reader reminded me in summer that a slowburn is a slowburn for a reason and it would be wrong to force it to move faster. It would break the authenticity of the story, of the characters. And when I was trying to push and finish a chapter recently, I again realised that the reason it’s not working is because I was ignoring the underlying truth of the story in favour of getting shit done. So. Truth ftw. Even if it takes its sweet time to emerge.

Community

My corner of the fandom has been wonderful, filled with talented, friendly people like @hollyand-writes, @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold, @lucyrne, @barbex, @cafeleningrad, @dorianpink, @serial-chillr, @dafan7711 and others. Thank you for being here and making this an inspiring, positive place! ♥

Additionally, raw respect for D, who made 100 lists x 30 prompts this year, and has been a staunch, supportive, positive voice in the fandom and an overall wonderful person.

I’ve also started talking with people more, and even joined the DA Drunk Writing Circle :D

Comments

I’ve been blown away by the comments I got on the Varric/Merrill oneshots, those were totally unexpected! Comments on the Lucky Heart series have felt so damn gratifying, for having been able to bring those stories to the English-speaking readers. Comments to Courage... they just warm my heart so much :))

Detailed, long-ass responses to the Varric/Merrill shots and to my own comments have been a delight. When discussions in the comment sections flood my email and AO3 starts to feel like a social media site... I live for it :))

2021

I’ll continue working on Courage and maybe puttering away on Canticle of Chaos. Maybe finish the 30 Days of Martin Lavellan series.

I don’t feel like starting any new multi-chapter fics, because I think that the next step for me would be to learn to plot properly and write a first draft before starting posting, and I just can’t see myself doing that next year lol.

I’d like to do more Dragon Age oneshots and prompts. Write something small and whimsical. Maybe Varric/Merill, since people seem to like it. I’d like to learn to write faster, so random prompts it is. Maybe I’ll finish playing DAI, for once. That might give fodder for new fics too.

And here’s a crazy idea lol, but maybe I should try writing something in my own native language next year XD

#beng's writing #bengruminations

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recentanimenews · 3 years

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ESSAY: Berserk's Journey of Acceptance Over 30 Years of Fandom

My descent into anime fandom began in the '90s, and just as watching Neon Genesis Evangelion caused my first revelation that cartoons could be art, reading Berserk gave me the same realization about comics. The news of Kentaro Miura’s death, who passed on May 6, has been emotionally complicated for me, as it's the first time a celebrity's death has hit truly close to home. In addition to being the lynchpin for several important personal revelations, Berserk is one of the longest-lasting works I’ve followed and that I must suddenly bid farewell to after existing alongside it for two-thirds of my life.

Berserk is a monolith not only for anime and manga, but also fantasy literature, video games, you name it. It might be one of the single most influential works of the ‘80s — on a level similar to Blade Runner — to a degree where it’s difficult to imagine what the world might look like without it, and the generations of creators the series inspired.

Although not the first, Guts is the prototypical large sword anime boy: Final Fantasy VII's Cloud Strife, Siegfried/Nightmare from Soulcalibur, and Black Clover's Asta are all links in the same chain, with other series like Dark Souls and Claymore taking clear inspiration from Berserk. But even deeper than that, the three-character dynamic between Guts, Griffith, and Casca, the monster designs, the grotesque violence, Miura’s image of hell — all of them can be spotted in countless pieces of media across the globe.

Despite this, it just doesn’t seem like people talk about it very much. For over 20 years, Berserk has stood among the critical pantheon for both anime and manga, but it doesn’t spur conversations in the same way as Neon Genesis Evangelion, Akira, or Dragon Ball Z still do today. Its graphic depictions certainly represent a barrier to entry much higher than even the aforementioned company.

Seeing the internet exude sympathy and fond reminiscing about Berserk was immensely validating and has been my single most therapeutic experience online. Moreso, it reminded me that the fans have always been there. And even looking into it, Berserk is the single best-selling property in the 35-year history of Dark Horse. My feeling is that Berserk just has something about it that reaches deep into you and gets stuck there.

I recall introducing one of my housemates to Berserk a few years ago — a person with all the intelligence and personal drive to both work on cancer research at Stanford while pursuing his own MD and maintaining a level of physical fitness that was frankly unreasonable for the hours that he kept. He was NOT in any way analytical about the media he consumed, but watching him sitting on the floor turning all his considerable willpower and intellect toward delivering an off-the-cuff treatise on how Berserk had so deeply touched him was a sight in itself to behold. His thoughts on the series' portrayal of sex as fundamentally violent leading up to Guts and Casca’s first moment of intimacy in the Golden Age movies was one of the most beautiful sentiments I’d ever heard in reaction to a piece of fiction.

I don’t think I’d ever heard him provide anything but a surface-level take on a piece of media before or since. He was a pretty forthright guy, but the way he just cut into himself and let his feelings pour out onto the floor left me awestruck. The process of reading Berserk can strike emotional chords within you that are tough to untangle. I’ve been writing analysis and experiential pieces related to anime and manga for almost ten years — and interacting with Berserk’s world for almost 30 years — and writing may just be yet another attempt for me to pull my own twisted-up feelings about it apart.

Berserk is one of the most deeply personal works I’ve ever read, both for myself and in my perception of Miura's works. The series' transformation in the past 30 years artistically and thematically is so singular it's difficult to find another work that comes close. The author of Hajime no Ippo, who was among the first to see Berserk as Miura presented him with some early drafts working as his assistant, claimed that the design for Guts and Puck had come from a mess of ideas Miura had been working on since his early school days.

写真は三浦建太郎君が寄稿してくれた鷹村です。今かなり感傷的になっています。思い出話をさせて下さい。僕が初めての週刊連載でスタッフが一人もいなくて困っていたら手伝いにきてくれました。彼が18で僕が19です。某大学の芸術学部の学生で講義明けにスケッチブックを片手に来てくれました。 pic.twitter.com/hT1JCWBTKu

— 森川ジョージ (@WANPOWANWAN) May 20, 2021

Miura claimed two of his big influences were Go Nagai’s Violence Jack and Tetsuo Hara and Buronson’s Fist of the North Star. Miura wears these influences on his sleeve, discovering the early concepts that had percolated in his mind just felt right. The beginning of Berserk, despite its amazing visual power, feels like it sprang from a very juvenile concept: Guts is a hypermasculine lone traveler breaking his body against nightmarish creatures in his single-minded pursuit of revenge, rigidly independent and distrustful of others due to his dark past.

Uncompromising, rugged, independent, a really big sword ... Guts is a romantic ideal of masculinity on a quest to personally serve justice against the one who wronged him. Almost nefarious in the manner in which his character checked these boxes, especially when it came to his grim stoicism, unblinkingly facing his struggle against literal cosmic forces. Never doubting himself, never trusting others, never weeping for what he had lost.

Miura said he sketched out most of the backstory when the manga began publication, so I have to assume the larger strokes of the Golden Arc were pretty well figured out from the outset, but I’m less sure if he had fully realized where he wanted to take the story to where we are now. After the introductory mini-arcs of demon-slaying, Berserk encounters Griffith and the story draws us back to a massive flashback arc. We see the same Guts living as a lone mercenary who Griffith persuades to join the Band of the Hawk to help realize his ambitions of rising above the circumstances of his birth to join the nobility.

We discover the horrific abuses of Guts’ adoptive father and eventually learn that Guts, Griffith, and Casca are all victims of sexual violence. The story develops into a sprawling semi-historical epic featuring politics and war, but the real narrative is in the growing companionship between Guts and the members of the band. Directionless and traumatized by his childhood, Guts slowly finds a purpose helping Griffith realize his dream and the courage to allow others to grow close to him.

Miura mentioned that many Band of the Hawk members were based on his early friend groups. Although he was always sparse with details about his personal life, he has spoken about how many of them referred to themselves as aspiring manga authors and how he felt an intense sense of competition, admitting that among them he may have been the only one seriously working toward that goal, desperately keeping ahead in his perceived race against them. It’s intriguing thinking about how much of this angst may have made it to the pages, as it's almost impossible not to imagine Miura put quite a bit of himself in Guts.

Perhaps this is why it feels so real and makes The Eclipse — the quintessential anime betrayal at the hands of Griffith — all the more heartbreaking. The raw violence and macabre imagery certainly helped. While Miura owed Hellraiser’s Cenobites much in the designs of the God Hand, his macabre portrayal of the Band of the Hawk’s eradication within the literal bowels of hell, the massive hand, the black sun, the Skull Knight, and even Miura’s page compositions have been endlessly referenced, copied, and outright plagiarized since.

The events were tragic in any context and I have heard many deeply personal experiences others drew from The Eclipse sympathizing with Guts, Casca, or even Griffith’s spiral driven by his perceived rejection by Guts. Mine were most closely aligned with the tragedy of Guts having overcome such painful circumstances to not only reject his own self enforced solitude, but to fearlessly express his affection for his loved ones.

The Golden Age was a methodical destruction of Guts’ self-destructive methods of preservation ruined in a single selfish act by his most trusted friend, leaving him once again alone and afraid of growing close to those around him. It ripped the romance of Guts’ mission and eventually took the story down a course I never expected. Berserk wasn’t a story of revenge but one of recovery.

Guess that’s enough beating around the bush, as I should talk about how this shift affected me personally. When I was young, when I began reading Berserk I found Guts’ unflagging stoicism to be really cool, not just aesthetically but in how I understood guys were supposed to be. I was slow to make friends during school and my rapidly gentrifying neighborhood had my friends' parents moving away faster than I could find new ones. At some point I think I became too afraid of putting myself out there anymore, risking rejection when even acceptance was so fleeting. It began to feel easier just to resign myself to solitude and pretend my circumstances were beyond my own power to correct.

Unfortunately, I became the stereotypical kid who ate alone during lunch break. Under the invisible expectations demanding I not display weakness, my loneliness was compounded by shame for feeling loneliness. My only recourse was to reveal none of those feelings and pretend the whole thing didn't bother me at all. Needless to say my attempts to cope probably fooled no one and only made things even worse, but I really didn’t know of any better way to handle my situation. I felt bad, I felt even worse about feeling bad and had been provided with zero tools to cope, much less even admit that I had a problem at all.

The arcs following the Golden Age completely changed my perspective. Guts had tragically, yet understandably, cut himself off from others to save himself from experiencing that trauma again and, in effect, denied himself any opportunity to allow himself to be happy again. As he began to meet other characters that attached themselves to him, between Rickert and Erica spending months waiting worried for his return, and even the slimmest hope to rescuing Casca began to seed itself into the story, I could only see Guts as a fool pursuing a grim and hopeless task rather than appreciating everything that he had managed to hold onto.

The same attributes that made Guts so compelling in the opening chapters were revealed as his true enemy. Griffith had committed an unforgivable act but Guts’ journey for revenge was one of self-inflicted pain and fear. The romanticism was gone.

Farnese’s inclusion in the Conviction arc was a revelation. Among the many brilliant aspects of her character, I identified with her simply for how she acted as a stand-in for myself as the reader: Plagued by self-doubt and fear, desperate to maintain her own stoic and uncompromising image, and resentful of her place in the world. She sees Guts’ fearlessness in the face of cosmic horror and believes she might be able to learn his confidence.

But in following Guts, Farnese instead finds a teacher in Casca. In taking care of her, Farnese develops a connection and is able to experience genuine sympathy that develops into a sense of responsibility. Caring for Casca allows Farnese to develop the courage she was lacking not out of reckless self-abandon but compassion.

I can’t exactly credit Berserk with turning my life around, but I feel that it genuinely helped crystallize within me a sense of growing doubts about my maladjusted high school days. My growing awareness of Guts' undeniable role in his own suffering forced me to admit my own role in mine and created a determination to take action to fix it rather than pretending enough stoicism might actually result in some sort of solution.

I visited the Berserk subreddit from time to time and always enjoyed the group's penchant for referring to all the members of the board as “fellow strugglers,” owing both to Skull Knight’s label for Guts and their own tongue-in-cheek humor at waiting through extended hiatuses. Only in retrospect did it feel truly fitting to me. Trying to avoid the pitfalls of Guts’ path is a constant struggle. Today I’m blessed with many good friends but still feel primal pangs of fear holding me back nearly every time I meet someone, the idea of telling others how much they mean to me or even sharing my thoughts and feelings about something I care about deeply as if each action will expose me to attack.

It’s taken time to pull myself away from the behaviors that were so deeply ingrained and it’s a journey where I’m not sure the work will ever be truly done, but witnessing Guts’ own slow progress has been a constant source of reassurance. My sense of admiration for Miura’s epic tale of a man allowing himself to let go after suffering such devastating circumstances brought my own humble problems and their way out into focus.

Over the years I, and many others, have been forced to come to terms with the fact that Berserk would likely never finish. The pattern of long, unexplained hiatuses and the solemn recognition that any of them could be the last is a familiar one. The double-edged sword of manga largely being works created by a single individual is that there is rarely anyone in a position to pick up the torch when the creator calls it quits. Takehiko Inoue’s Vagabond, Ai Yazawa’s Nana, and likely Yoshihiro Togashi’s Hunter X Hunter all frozen in indefinite hiatus, the publishers respectfully holding the door open should the creators ever decide to return, leaving it in a liminal space with no sense of conclusion for the fans except what we can make for ourselves.

The reason for Miura’s hiatuses was unclear. Fans liked to joke that he would take long breaks to play The Idolmaster, but Miura was also infamous for taking “breaks” spent minutely illustrating panels to his exacting artistic standard, creating a tumultuous release schedule during the wars featuring thousands of tiny soldiers all dressed in period-appropriate armor. If his health was becoming an issue, it’s uncommon that news would be shared with fans for most authors, much less one as private as Miura.

Even without delays, the story Miura was building just seemed to be getting too big. The scale continued to grow, his narrative ambition swelling even faster after 20 years of publication, the depth and breadth of his universe constantly expanding. The fan-dubbed “Millennium Falcon Arc” was massive, changing the landscape of Berserk from a low fantasy plagued by roaming demons to a high fantasy where godlike beings of sanity-defying size battled for control of the world. How could Guts even meet Griffith again? What might Casca want to do when her sanity returned? What are the origins of the Skull Knight? And would he do battle with the God Hand? There was too much left to happen and Miura’s art only grew more and more elaborate. It would take decades to resolve all this.

But it didn’t need to. I imagine we’ll never get a precise picture of the final years of Miura’s life leading up to his tragic passing. In the final chapters he released, it felt as if he had directed the story to some conclusion. The unfinished Fantasia arc finds Guts and his newfound band finding a way to finally restore Casca’s sanity and — although there is still unmistakably a boundary separating them — both seem resolute in finding a way to mend their shared wounds together.

One of the final chapters features Guts drinking around the campfire with the two other men of his group, Serpico and Roderick, as he entrusts the recovery of Casca to Schierke and Farnese. It's a scene that, in the original Band of the Hawk, would have found Guts brooding as his fellows engage in bluster. The tone of this conversation, however, is completely different. The three commiserate over how much has changed and the strength each has found in the companionship of the others. After everything that has happened, Guts declares that he is grateful.

The suicidal dedication to his quest for vengeance and dispassionate pragmatism that defined Guts in the earliest chapters is gone. Although they first appeared to be a source of strength as the Black Swordsman, he has learned that they rose from the fear of losing his friends again, from letting others close enough to harm him, and from having no other purpose without others. Whether or not Guts and Griffith were to ever meet again, Guts has rediscovered the strength to no longer carry his burdens alone.

All that has happened is all there will ever be. We too must be grateful.

Peter Fobian is an Associate Manager of Social Video at Crunchyroll, writer for Anime Academy and Anime in America, and an editor at Anime Feminist. You can follow him on Twitter @PeterFobian.

By: Peter Fobian

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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theastrophilearchitect · 3 years

Text

A new project.

Because the first one wasn’t working. Writing journey #3.

Tue 30/03/2021 - ‘Bay Tree’ Word Count: 42,150 07.27 Hello! So I established in my last writing update that I was taking a break from my WIP ‘Bay Tree’, to return May 10th, and even though I’m not writing today, I just wanted to say that taking a break feels amazing. I’m focusing on reading (granted, I’ve been reading House of Earth and Blood for like two weeks) and it’s really helping ideas for edits develop.

In my draft, I got to chapter 13 (I think) of twenty-something (because I didn’t fully outline the climax, so I’m unclear as to how many chapters there will ultimately be) but I just don’t think I can get all the way through a draft without first doing some developmental edits. So, for the next few weeks, I’m going to note the changes I think I could make, then figure out which ones I won’t implement, then how I will implement the others on May 10th.

In the meantime, this Thursday, I’m going to start working on a new WIP, which I have quite a clear idea for, but obviously need to develop the plot. So that’s it for today, and I’ll update again for my new project on Thursday April 1st.

Thu 01/04/2021 09.54 It is Thursday! I’m free for a couple weeks! Which means it’s time to start working on a new project. My goal for the day is just to compile some of the various ideas I have into something vaguely cohesive, then I’ll develop it tomorrow, and hopefully make a skeletal outline on Saturday, scene block on Sunday... I’m going to shut up before I set myself a thousand insane deadlines, but I’d like to have started a draft by the end of my free time. So, let’s go.

Wow. Blank documents really are intimidating, aren’t they?

13.04 I already had my core concept, but now I have almost a justification for it--why it happens, and I think I want to build up my world first, then characters, because knowing the world and its various peoples will allow me to figure out how exactly they fit in and develop their motivations, then finally do the plot. I’ll only work out the three characters I’m currently certain will be integral for the plot, because I don’t want to waste time on developing characters who are ultimately unnecessary, like I did in the earliest days of Bay Tree.

Basically, with a world, I can work out motivations; with motivations, I can work out characters, and with characters, I can create a character-driven plot. I want to focus on creating both lovable characters and a memorable plot--I know all my favourite books have memorable characters, but the ones I enjoy the absolute most are the ones where it doesn’t feel like the plot only exists to drive the characters into relationships (I’m looking at you, Cassandra Clare. Seriously, I love Shadowhunters books, but the technically ‘main’ plots always feel second to the subplots).

Fri 02/04/2021 08.16 Honestly, didn’t get too much done yesterday. Mostly because I ended up down a rabbit hole of researching (though I do think what I learned will help me to form my world), and I was busier than I expected to be. Regardless, I think I want to make this a series. I have a feeling Bay Tree is also going to become at least two books when I revisit it, but I’m going to go into this one with that intention.

Obviously I don’t know how long it will be right now, but I think I’m going to aim for three books, then let it shape itself.

12.25 I just spent an hour writing out a history of the world and how it got to where it is. This is really fun, but really intense.

16.36 So, I have a rough plot in mind. I have an ending, a catalyst, a backstory for the world, and a few characters. And a lot of things that need names. I waited a really long time to name my characters in Bay Tree, thinking they’d be easier to name when I had then conceptualised, which makes sense, but I’d given them numbers with which to refer to them until that point, so it was a long time before my protagonist became her actual name instead of just ‘3′, despite the fact she technically became 2 because I had to cut 1.

Anyway, going to pick names, then let nominative determinism do its thing.

Jesus, I have no good male names. I keep a list of names, first and last, I like for use, but I have so many more female ones than I do male.

In Bay Tree, I used MBTIs as a starting point for personalities, which I’m planning to do here, especially since I know the types so much better now, but I want names first.

Maybe I just ought to choose this specific character’s surname first. Maybe he goes by his surname, or some variation thereupon (like how Daniel Arlington from Ninth House goes by Darlington).

Maybe he doesn’t need a name. Maybe we literally just call him Hero Guy.

God, screw this. He’s Hero Guy until either it comes to me, or I have no choice but to name him.

Sat 03/04/2021 11.15 I feel like crap today. I’ve been doing nothing for three hours, and I, quite frankly, need to get something done. So I’m going to write.

12.41 Wow, initial development really is the hardest bit of the process, huh?

Sun 04/04/2021 08.04 I’d really like to do more worldbuilding first, and character development, but it’s difficult when I don’t know the different parts’ roles. So, today, I’m going to attempt to outline the primary plot points of the three books. Attempt being the operative word here.

13.41 Honestly, yeah, I’m struggling with the plot. I think I managed to get Bay Tree’s plot so fast when I sat down to actually write it because it had been on my brain for a couple weeks, whereas I literally started this project three days ago.

Maybe that’s how I’ll handle this--when I hit a wall with one project, I work on the other to give myself some distance. Working on Bay Tree requires less thought anyway, because that plot’s already mostly figured out. Yeah. I think I’m going to revisit Bay Tree, but for reference’s sake, I’m going to dub the new project... eh... the first thing that came to mind was ‘Feather President’ which is more related to the actual content than ‘Bay Tree’, but it sounds so much crazier. I want to dub it something that actually could be a title, even if it definitely won’t be the final title, because I don’t want people to look at my blog, see ‘Feather President’ in the pinned post and immediately assume I’m insane.

Could always just use an acronym. Let’s go with FSB; those are one of the character’s (also the only character who so far has a name) initials, which may ultimately change, but it works for now. Bay Tree and FSB.

I’m going to end this particular writing stint here and come back in a couple hours, at which point I’m going to switch back to Bay Tree.

I should really stop planning so far ahead when my plans will inevitably change.

15.40 So here’s the plan I currently have that I definitely won’t stick to: at the start of each week, I’ll determine which project I work on (operating Monday-Sunday; if you think the week starts any day but Monday, you’re wrong, and I’m not sorry), and only work on that project throughout the week. So I’ll work on Bay Tree this week, and FSB next week.

I’m going to let myself work on a project for more than one week at a time, but I think I’m going to say I can only work on one for three consecutive weeks before I have to switch to the other. This seems like a good way to stay excited. Yes.

This second? Not completely sure. Might just go read and deal with it tomorrow.

Mon 05/04/2021 - ‘Bay Tree’ 11.37 Actually really glad I just sat down and read--I read about 200 pages yesterday in total, which meant I could easily finish the last 100 pages this morning. So I finished Starsight (the recent reads post will probably be up by the time this one is)--was anyone aware the A Court of Silver Flames paperback is £24 on Amazon? Anyone?

Anyway, we’re returning to Bay Tree today, after nearly two weeks (I know that’s not even long), and I’m going to attempt to implement my edits, by which I mean I’m going to put scene changes at the bottom in brackets, then technically implement them when I redraft.

Tue 06/04/2021 - ‘Bay Tree’ 09.11 I didn’t exactly accomplish much yesterday. I spent a good few hours just watching YouTube, because I didn’t have any motivation to do work, which screwed up my schedule, and I did no writing aside from transferring my list of edits from my phone to my document. I started reading Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater, but didn’t get very far in--I’m obsessed with Stiefvater’s writing style; it’s the perfect mix between typical prose and fairytale-style storytelling. Anyway.

I’m going to switch to a new Scrivener project for the sake of cleaning it up--Bay Tree is a hot mess right now--and hopefully begin to implement my edits--maybe not today, but certainly this week.

Thu 08/04/2021 - ‘Bay Tree’ 16.53 So I haven’t yet had a day where I’ve done nothing (since my break finished), but the last couple days I’ve just been doing tiny amounts of what I’m calling ‘reference pruning’, where I’m just editing and clarifying character, worldbuilding and location documents. I’ve ‘pruned’ five character references, and I hate it. It needs to be done, but it doesn’t need to be done now. I’ve decided I’m just going to completely clear out the new Scrivener project I started for Bay Tree, and add stuff to it as it becomes necessary. I’m going to make notes of overarching edits (stuff I can’t just note at the bottom of a scene), and just get started with draft 1.7, adding and editing references as it becomes necessary. I’m also going to say I just need to spend an hour writing a day, rather than a word minimum.

Okay. Edits established. Things to bear in mind established. I need to go through the character profile for the POV character in chapter one, then we can get started. Or rather, I’ll get started tomorrow, because I need to go cook soon, and even if I do have time after dinner, I’m not going to, because I’m going to read then. Okay. Character.

I’m getting excited again!

Oh, and the setting. I need to do the setting document.

I’d like to draw attention tot he fact one of my character documents describes her as having ‘black upturned gold eyes.’

Clearly I couldn’t pick a colour, but now I’m inspired to give her heterochromia.

Character done, and setting undone, but I need to go cook now, so I’ll pick this back up tomorrow, when I may also do some actual work.

I just hope these posts give someone security in that writing is a messy process, and you don’t have to be perfect all the time to be a) competent, and b) a writer. I’m a competent writer, and I’ve only ever written about 60% of a draft. But I’m still going, still trying, and that’s the point.

Fri 09/04/2021 - ‘Bay Tree’: 484 words 09.15 Okay. So we’re redrafting, and this is like my fourth draft of the first chapter, so let’s just go.

Sun 11/04/2021 - ‘Bay Tree’: 576 words 09.01 Yeah, I missed yesterday. Ironically, having time off seems to be making productivity more difficult, despite the fact I actually have time for it.

09.19 I feel like this project is making me stagnate. I think what I have is almost subconsciously tying me down, preventing me from improving, but I don’t want to just restart, because I want my bases, and it’s so ingrained in my head, I can’t physically start from scratch. Crap.

I think it needs to sit for longer. Crap.

It’s alright. I mean, it sucks, but it’s alright. It’s not like there’s any ideal age to become an author anyway, and I’m a long way off the average. I have time, and if it takes shelving projects now to complete better ones later, so be it. Maybe I’ll return to Bay Tree in a few weeks, or a few months, or a few years, or never, but I’ve learnt a lot from it.

So we move on.

Mon 12/04/2021 - FSB 08.05 This post is such a mess. I’m a mess at the moment. Today, we’re just continuing to work on FSB’s plot, and I think I’m already going to change the name of the character whose initials are FSB, so its nickname will probably change, too.

I had a trilogy in mind, but looking at it now, I think a duology will be best to convey the arc I have in mind.

21.51 I’ve actually accomplished quite a lot today--I’ve mostly been doing character profiles, but that helps me form tidbits to add to the story, which I can eventually string together. We’re progressing.

Tue 13/04/2021 - FSB 08.37 Hello! I think I can safely come to the conclusion I prefer development to actual drafting. Anyway, today I’m going to focus on completing the character profile for my other protagonist and do a little more work on another important figure. Then, I hope to be able to figure out the drive of the main plot in book one.

On another note, I am debating whether to plan out two books or three. Mulling it over, I think three books would give a more fulfilling arc, but it depends if I can work out enough content for the main plot. We’ll see.

Yeah, it’s going to be three. Two just can’t carry the impact I want.

20.00 I made pretty good progress today, but I just wanted to make the point I’m a lot more confident this project will hold my interest for longer than Bay Tree. This was something ruminating in the back of my mind for weeks, that I was desperate to write, where Bay Tree was very much a ‘sit down, make something up’ process at the beginning. Anyway, I think I’m done writing for the day, and I’ll get back to this tomorrow. (Because unlike most writers, I have a functional sleep schedule)

Wed 14/04/2021 09.19 Honestly, my head is empty right now, so I really need to open my project before determining what I want to do today.

Okay, so we’re basically just going to continue filling in holes.

14.50 Working out the plot, I’m pretty confident I’ve got the A plot covered, which the B plot will fit into, but I need more subplots.

Thu 15/04/2021 10.12 I want to work this one out mostly on the fly. I have nearly the whole of book one plotted out, but I want to work out the fine details as I write it; as I go, I’ll add more detail to my outlines of two and three. But for now, book one.

15.28 I’ve got basically the whole of book one covered; there’s just a gaping hole in act one, that I’m not sure I can fill. I mean, I can fill it, and I will, but I don’t feel like it’ll be that intentional of a thing. I think it’ll be more of an accidental idea that happens to flourish, but I’m going to keep working nonetheless.

Fri 16/04/2021 14.08 Good afternoon! I would’ve started writing earlier, but I wanted to catch up on the reading I didn’t do yesterday to make sure I finish A Court of Silver Flames within a week, so I can return the ebook and get a refund, because, despite being £6 cheaper than the paperback, it still cost me £8, and I want my money back. (Seriously, the paperback is fourteen pounds on amazon. Which is nearly twenty dollars. Which is pretty standard for a hardback, but it’s the paperback.) I’m about ten pages off meeting my minimum for the day (though I need to surpass that if I do want to finish it within a week), but it’s writing time.

14.37 I’m still establishing how, exactly, it applies, but I think I’ve solved it!

Definitely happy that as I’m planning, all I want is to make the characters happy, because I already love them so much. But they don’t get to be.

I have a section on a Pinterest board that’s just called ‘Simping’, and is just pictures of couples doing cute as shit things, and I literally just want my characters to dance together. Always. In Bay Tree, in FSB. Just dancing.

15.04 I have book one covered. It still needs development, scene development, but I can now move on to outlining book two, during which I’ll continue to develop one, integrate themes and such.

Honestly, the plot falling into place is absolutely the most exciting part of writing. I get an adrenaline rush (yes, while sitting in a chair, typing), I start to love the characters, the world, the story... ahhhh.

I’m actually really satisfied with how the plot seems to be going.

16.44 The word ambiguous has too many Us in it. Three vowels in a row??? And the vowel sequence is a palindrome?? Don’t want it.

I’m just sat here discovering new music. And it’s all so good and so dramatic and so perfect.

Okay, why do I have to come up with ideas so easily when I don’t need them? Then when I do I have nothing?

17.51 And just to clarify now, this post will actually end with Sunday the 18th, because after that I’m going to take three weeks completely off writing (aside from noting ideas), because I have a lot going on, then I’ll return on May 10th.

Note to self: develop a character who isn’t one of your two protagonists.

Sat 17/04/2021 10.23 I’m thinking I ought to do a more in-depth outline of book one before doing the basis of book two. Help me set up subplots and so on. Yanno, because other characters need some kind of agency, and I currently basically have two characters.

Sun 18/04/2021 08.52 I managed to plot out Bay Tree so fast because I’d already done so much development--plot was the only thing I was still missing. Anyway, I’m having a minor crisis. I think I’m a plotter, but I’m not entirely certain. It clearly didn’t work for Bay Tree. I think I may just start a draft of FSB now, and hope that lets me work out the other two books as I go.

In one of my excessive plans I will probably fail to stick to: I think I’d like to write a draft of the whole trilogy, all the way through, before even editing book one. I’ll obviously make notes of edits as I go, write as if I’ve already made them, eg. if, while writing book two, I have an idea for a book one edit, I’ll write book two as if I’ve already implemented it, which means I’ll have a little less editing to do of book two.

I have this all planned out in my head, but I’m probably being overambitious. We’re staying optimistic, though. I don’t believe in manifesting, but we’re manifesting.

14.23 I want to say I tried. I got a few details for the first couple chapters, but when I opened a doc to actually write it... nope. I need an outline to have a starting point. I just need detail.

Scene blocking sucks. But then I can’t write without it, so what can you do?

And I guess that wraps up this update. Writing this section, I’m about halfway through the writing break, and I have so many more ideas for this project. I was excited for Bay Tree because it was the first time I really made progress, but I’m excited for this one because I genuinely love this story. This post is going up May 14th, at which point I’ll be back to writing, and the next update should come mid to early June.

And that’s a wrap.

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