#god cell animation is really the best

[silens-oro]

Well Enough Alone: Part I

Not all fics have adult content, but this blog is 18+. Andrew "Pope" Cody x f!Reader (nicknamed Hawk) Prologue

Masterlist Pope Cody Playlist

General Synopsis: Hawk juggles her life between Julia, Julia's son J, and the Cody family. Slow Burn. Word Count: 5,335 (lmao I'm cooked) Content Warning: No description of the reader, other than the nickname. Warnings will be updated chapter by chapter. Mentions of cps, drugs, overdoses, death & prison. A/N: Thank you to everyone who gave support on the prologue (linked above). This fic is a passion project that I hope you'll enjoy! As always, my inbox is open.

The chatter around Smurf’s dinner table stopped on a dime after Hawk’s question. Has anyone heard from Pope? After a particularly upsetting visit to Julia’s, it got her thinking about him. He had been gone six months and those six months seemed to pass relatively quickly for her. Of course they did. She wasn’t locked in a cell with god knows who, surrounded by people that wanted to beat her ass -or worse. Hawk couldn’t imagine how he survived every second that passed in Folsom. 

Baz, Deran, and Craig looked at Smurf, then looked at Hawk. She eyed Hawk carefully and Hawk was the first to break eye contact, knowing how the pecking order went under Smurf's roof.

“Just wondering if anyone has gone to see him is all,” Hawk muttered, going back to the chicken on her plate.  

“You know we can’t visit him, baby. He’s got a lawyer, and money on his books -he’s taken care of.” Smurf tried to placate Hawk. “He does call once in a while when he’s up to it, and he’s doing the best that he can. Pope’s strong. He’ll get through this. He always does.” It didn’t sit right with her. Hawk knew why they couldn’t go to the prison to see him, she got it, but it still felt wrong. Pope was their family and they just…left him. 

Abandonment when there was no more use seemed like a reoccurring Cody trait if Hawk ever saw one, though she never voiced that opinion out loud. 

“Yeah, I understand.” That ended the tense conversation and chatter picked back up around the table. 

It took a lot of hyping herself up for the 9 hour drive up to Folsom from Oceanside when Hawk decided to book her visiting slot. When Pope was initially locked up, Smurf had Hawk listed on his approved visitors list for emergency purposes because she was disconnected from any Cody shenanigans and had a clean record. Hawk never really thought she would actually make the trip north -not until she realized just how long Pope was destined to be up there like an animal with zero support on the outside other than a few bucks for commissary. 

Hawk also wasn’t confident that Pope would even want to see her to begin with, especially if things were much worse on the inside than he was letting on to Smurf. Folsom had its reputation for a reason. 

In a way Hawk always held a torch for the Pope, even as teens, but he never noticed it or chose to ignore it. Either way, the unrequited longing was still present now well into her thirties, and it wigged her out the longer she thought about it. Hawk told herself that if he rejected her visit, her feelings wouldn’t be hurt, but even the thought of that very real possibility was almost enough to make her turn around and tuck tail back home. 

Pope needed support, Hawk told herself, letting the endless freeway in front of her distract her enough to keep going. He wasn’t getting it from his family and Hawk knew he didn’t really have friends -none of them did, really- and definitely not anyone who would drive nine hours to see him. It broke her heart a little. Even if he rejected her visit, it wasn’t a mistake. Showing him that she cared would let him know that he’s not alone. That there was someone on the outside who genuinely cared about him and his well-being . 

To Hawk’s surprise, Pope accepted the visit. Generally the inmates don’t know who is waiting for them in the visiting room, just that they’re on the approved list, so imagine Pope’s surprise when he saw Hawk sitting on the other side of the cubicle, fidgeting as she waited for him to come out. Pope was an incredibly difficult man to read under normal circumstances, but the confusion was clear as day on his face when Hawk finally looked up from her hands and saw him coming her way. His right eye held remnants of fading bruises and the left corner of his downturned mouth had a mostly healed split. 

God knows what happened to him in there, she thought to herself.  

Picking up the receiver on Hawk’s end, she held it up to her ear. Pope took his time picking up the phone receiver from the other side of the glass and held it to his own ear. 

“Hi,” Hawk said after a few beats. Pope didn’t respond for a few moments, but he kept his eyes locked on Hawk. 

“Smurf send you?” His voice was raspy like he hadn’t used it much, and he probably hadn’t. 

“No, she doesn’t know I’m here.” Both of his brows raised at this. His eyes, ever observant, were watching Hawk every move from her picking the skin around Hawk finger nails nervously, to the way Hawk’s eyes couldn’t keep contact with him for more than a few seconds at a time. She was nervous, that much he could tell. 

“Does anyone know you’re here?” His eyes narrowed. She knew it was a stupid idea to take the nine hour drive by herself, but she couldn’t imagine being stuck in a car with Deran or Craig for that long -if they even wanted to go with her. Baz would’ve told her to go fuck herself for even asking.

“No.” Hawk spoke softly with a sigh, scratching the back of her neck. 

“You’re a long way from home, Hawk. You should’ve brought someone.” 

“I didn’t want to, and they were too chicken shit to come anyway, otherwise they would’ve already made the trip.” Hawk didn’t mean to answer so rigidly, and it got the most minute reaction out of Pope -a small twitch in his right eye- but Hawk’s anxiety was in overdrive. She hadn’t spoken to Pope and just Pope in years. There was always a buffer whether it was in the shop or at Smurfs and he never spoke to her first. 

“If Smurf didn’t send you, then why are you here?” Pope leaned forward towards the scratched plexiglass, his voice lowering even further. If Hawk made the nine hour drive north, something had to have happened at home. 

“I…” Hawk hesitated. What could Hawk say to him? “I spoke with Smurf the other night. I asked about you. She more or less said that none of them were coming up here for obvious reasons and it got me thinking…” Pope, ever stoic, stared unblinking as he listened to Hawk ramble. “I’m disconnected from everything and I’m already approved, so I figured I could make the drive to visit you. I’m sorry for not giving you a heads up, but I figured you could do with knowing there is someone on the outside who cares about you. I can’t begin to imagine your situation,” Pope almost laughed -situation. “If you’re fine with it, I wouldn’t mind coming up here every couple of weeks during visiting hours? But if you’re not cool with it that’s fine too. The ball’s in your court. I don’t want to overstep anymore than I have already.” 

Pope blinked, studying Hawk with an intensity only he was capable of, and nodded ever so slightly after what seemed like forever. A weight was instantly lifted from Hawk’s shoulders. The timid smile she gave him made the corner of his mouth twitch ever so slightly, but Hawk caught it and she locked it away for a time she needed to think back on it. 

That little grin alone made the trip worth it.

Those visits continued every two to three weeks on Saturdays or the occasional Sunday if her schedule didn’t allow it -the prison allotting four hours of visitation a month total if the inmate was on good behavior- and while Pope never really said much, Hawk knew he appreciated her being there even if it was an adjustment for him in the beginning. It was essentially a one sided yap session where Hawk updated him on Julia -only when he asked, and what was going on in her life. He never asked about his brothers or Smurf and Hawk was grateful for it. Their arrangement was separate from the family. It was something that was just theirs and theirs alone, and Pope wouldn’t let it bleed over if he could help it.  

Two and a half years later and the calls and visits to Pope had become a routine. Pope knew that every two weeks, Hawk would be on the other side of that plexiglass like clockwork. The routine was good for him. It was something he could look forward to when everything else had gone to shit. He wouldn’t admit it, but Hawk was the sole reason he survived his three year lockup. It was her voice he heard when his cell was silent. It was her face he saw when he closed his eyes at night. He thought about her in every way a man could, especially when he had the cell to himself at certain points of the day. Her visits were something he looked forward to, something constant that made waking up the next day worthwhile. 

The yearly parole hearings had become a routine as well, but so was their rejection. Pope didn’t expect to be released with the first hearing, but Hawk could see that he was deeply affected by it when she saw him two days after they rejected him. By the time the second rejection came, he was more settled with the idea that he wasn’t leaving. When his third year rolled around, Hawk could tell he was getting antsy when he called her to talk about the new parole hearing that had been scheduled for two weeks out. 

“I don’t know why they waste their time when they already know I’m not going anywhere,” Pope told her. He was agitated before the call even connected -something had to have happened prior to the call that worked him up, and Hawk tried to get him to settle down so he didn’t have a meltdown. 

“Don’t give them a reason to say no, Pope.” She warned him. “You’ve kept your head down and stayed out of trouble in there this long. That good behavior has to show for something. I’m with you either way, alright?” Hawk was stirring the contents of the pan she had going on the stove for her and J. A simple pasta with chicken and veggies in a white wine sauce was quick to throw together and her stomach growled just by smelling it.

“Alright.” Pope breathed into the phone. “Listen…maybe you shouldn’t take the trip out to Bakersfield this time.” It was Hawk’s idea to drive halfway to Folsom when Pope had his hearings. She’d book a hotel room in Bakersfield, and she’d wait for his call to hear what the parole board had to say. If he was released, it would be an easier four and a half hour drive to get him and if he wasn’t, then Hawk only had half the distance to drive back home. She made the time in her schedule and she had the means, but Pope still didn’t like her doing it. 

“Stop, Pope. Don’t start with this. You still have two weeks before anything happens. I know it’s hard and it sounds cheesy as shit, but you have to stay positive. They can’t keep you in there forever, not with the charges you had. You’ll get out. You just have to hold on til then.”

J walked through the door right on schedule as she turned the burner off. He waved, but bypassed the kitchen and went straight to his room. Hawk pulled the phone away from her face and called out “Five minutes!” to which J yelled back with a ‘K!’ as she pulled some plates down from the overhead cupboard. 

“What was that?” Pope asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

“I’m watching a friend’s kid while she’s out of town.” Hawk explained, a little white lie. “Nothing to worry about.” 

“She’s not waking up.” J’s voice was oddly calm when Hawk answered her phone from a deep sleep a few days after her call with Pope. She rubbed her eyes, sitting up in bed, and looked down at the clock on her phone before bringing it back up to her ear. 

“What?” She yawned, groaning as she sat up. J explained that he went to grab something from Julia’s apartment before school when he found her unresponsive on the sofa, arm extended over the edge and a used syringe on the floor under it. 

“What do I -do I call an ambulance? Her lips are blue, Hawk. She’s…stiff.” Hawk jumped out of bed, pulling on the first pair of shoes she saw as she stumbled through her house and out to her car. She and J had close calls with Julia too many times in the past to keep track of, but J’s voice sounded different this time around. 

“Is she breathing at all, J? Any sign of life?” The other line was silent, then a whispered “No.” 

“Alright. I need you to go outside for me, okay? Stay outside. I’ll be there in five minutes. Just…stay put and stay on the line with me. I’m going to get an ambulance on the way, just hold on.” Tears lined her eyes and her throat started to choke up. Hawk mentally prepared herself over the years for this day that she knew was going to come sooner or later, but for it to actually happen was another thing entirely. 

Hawk spoke to the coroner when she got to the complex, and explained Julia’s situation. The scene was quick to process. Overdoses were frequent in this neighborhood, and at this complex in particular. Police, ambulance, CPS -everyone was at the small complex documenting the scene -talking to her and J, separately. 

“I don’t need to go with you. I’m seventeen-” J started to argue with the officer and CPS case worker who were talking to him about thirty feet away from Hawk. All she could see was J shaking his head, pointing in her direction, and his mouth moving a mile a minute. 

J pointed to Hawk again and all she could do was stand off to the side and watch as he was escorted to the back of the awaiting CPS van. Her chin dropped to her chest as the tears broke free in a steady stream.

The full body scream Hawk let loose was so intense that she felt her teeth vibrate. Her forehead smashed down on the steering wheel once, twice, then a third time and she ripped at her hair. Anger, frustration, desperation, and grief all swirled together through her like some kind of fucked up cyclone, pulling every bit of sanity she had left out of her.

“That can’t be right,” Hawk insisted, leaning over Sandra the Social Worker’s desk. “Janine wanted nothing to do with Julia or J for the last seventeen years. She can’t be the next of kin.”

“Janine Cody is his legal next of kin per the State of California. I’m sorry, but there is nothing more I can do at this point. She’s already been contacted and she’s willing to take him in. That’s all I can tell you.”

“But I’m his emergency contact for everything. I have been since he was two. He can’t go to those people, Sandra. Janine isn’t fit to care for him, much less any child. J’s never met her and his mother kept it that way for a reason. He already has a room in my house. I am more than equipped to take care of him -I’ve been doing it the last fifteen years.” Hawk was desperate. “I have a business, I can pass a drug test, I’ve never been arrested. I can do…uh I can do home visits as often as you need them done. I-I own a home, I have a college fund for him. I’ll jump through any hoops you need me to because you can’t uproot him to give him to strangers, Sandra. How-how is that supposed to be what’s best for him?” Sandra held her hand out to stop Hawk from continuing.

“I know this is difficult to navigate, but this is the law. Had his mother gone through the proper channels and made you co-guardians, we’d be having a different conversation. That being said, because you have been caring for him for so long, there are routes for you to take that can get you in front of a judge to plead your case if that’s the direction you need to go.” She handed Hawk a pamphlet and told her that was all she could do for her. That entire conversation felt like a punch to the kidney. 

Over. 

And Over.

Hawk couldn’t take Smurf to court. Financially she could, but Smurf would sooner drown her in a toilet before they even saw the first court date. Hawk couldn’t take on Smurf and win, not while she had her boys to protect her, and that was a hard pill to swallow, but for J’s sake she did. Hawk wasn’t any use to him if she was dead and she’d do anything in her power to protect him. He was legally Smurf’s for less than one year, then he’d be eighteen and off to college as far away from Smurf as he could possibly go.

Hawk held herself together as best as she could as she stood up, thanked Sandra for her time, and beel-ined it out of the CPS office doors to her car so she could meltdown in relative peace. 

“I’m so sorry, Julia.” She whispered against the steering wheel as she cried.

Hawk’s house had never felt so empty in the fifteen years she lived in it. It was stifling, uncomfortable. Grabbing a bottle of white wine from her wine fridge, she popped the cork and took it outside to the back porch. Hawk sat on the outdoor sofa, her legs twisted under her, and sipped straight from the bottle as she stared at the endless horizon for the next couple of hours. She was about three quarters of the way through the bottle when her phone rang, breaking the tranquil silence as she watched the sun set.

“Shit,” Wiped at her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn’t want to answer it, but she never missed a single call from Pope. Not once. Her emotions were all over the place and she was teetering over the edge of buzzed, toeing the threshold into the worst drunk night of her life. She couldn’t talk to Pope when she was like this, but she couldn’t just let it ring. With one more deep breath, she swiped on her exhale. 

“This is a collect call from Folsom State Prison on behalf of-“ “Andrew Cody” Pope’s voice interrupted the automated message before it continued. “Do you accept the charges to connect the call?”

“Yes.” It rang once, then connected. “Hey, Pope." Hawk’s voice was raspy and airy, her vocal cords damaged from her trip to the CPS offices earlier in the day. He clocked her immediately.

“Are you okay?” His tone was all business. Pope was the first person to ask her that since everything went to ship and she wanted to tell him the truth. No, she wasn’t okay. She was grieving, she was devastated, and there wasn’t a single soul she could talk to about it. Pope asked, but Hawk couldn’t unload on him -especially when it was about his sister. She doubted Smurf clued him in to all that’s happened in the last week and Hawk didn’t want to drop this kind of news on him when he still had another week until his parole hearing. 

Her mourning would remain between herself and the wine bottle for now.  

“I’m fine, Pope. Just had a…really rough couple of days, but I don’t need to complain to you. You’ve got enough to worry about without me adding anything to it.” Her words had a slight slur and Pope knew she wasn’t a drinker, not anything more than a glass of wine at dinner or a beer here and there. Hawk didn’t get drunk, so to hear her teetering was just alarming enough for Pope to keep her on the line as long as he was allowed to. Hawk tried to hide a small sniffle as she wiped her nose on her sleeve, but nothing got by him. She was crying, or had been at least. Something was very wrong.

“You gotta let me in, Hawk.” His voice rasped, his brain working overtime to figure out the best way to navigate. “I called because I wanted to hear your voice. Talk to me.” He coaxed. “About anything. I just want to hear you.” 

Hawk was clicking through the channels on the hotel’s tv when her cell rang. Pressing the mute button on the remote, she was quick to answer her cell. 

“This is a collect call from Folsom State Prison on behalf of-“ “Andrew Cody” “Do you accept the charges to connect the call?”

“Yes.” Tossing the remote into the bed, Hawk put the phone on speaker. It rang once and then Hawk could hear noise on the other end as it connected. “Hello?”

“They did it.” Hawk swayed on the bed, blinking as if that would help process what he said. 

“They did it? Are you serious?” Of course he was serious. Pope was only serious. Hawk couldn’t believe what she was hearing and needed him to confirm it. 

“Three years and nineteen days later, yeah.” She fell back against the mattress in relief. “You in Bakersfield? If not, I can take a bus-” 

“-I can be there in four hours, tops.” Hawk cut him off. “Been gnawing off my goddamn fingernails waiting to hear from you. I’m just…really happy it’s good news this time around, Pope” 

The remainder of Hawk’s final ride to the prison was filled with jitters and absolute silence. 

Pope was getting released. 

Pope was free. 

The four hours passed by quicker than Hawk would’ve liked, anticipation gnawing so badly at her stomach and chest that she was sure she was developing an ulcer. She sat parked outside of the prison for another hour and a half -waiting, continuing to mindlessly gnaw at her already raw fingertips before a buzzing sound filled the immediate area. Hawk caught movement coming out of a secured gate to the right of where she had parked and within seconds, Pope was walking out, his eyes scoping the lot. 

Trying to play it cool, Hawk kept herself seated against the hood of her small SUV, but the reality was that she feared she’d make an absolute fool out of herself if she seemed too eager to go to him.

Seeing Pope for the first time in three years without a sheet of bulletproof Plexiglas between them was jarring. Seeing him not in an orange jumpsuit was also jarring. He had definitely put on muscle in his time locked up. Not that he was beefy, but he was sturdy, strong, immovable. Solid. 

Pope didn’t carry anything other than a manila file in his hand. He stopped walking when he spotted Hawk, eyes squinting in the harsh California sunlight. Hawk took that as her que to start walking towards him. They both looked each other up and down, assessing the other before Hawk stopped just before him. Pope’s mind went to their call from the previous week, the call Hawk was definitely drunk for. He could see it on her face, whatever she was going through had taken the spark that she had when she came to visit him. Pope couldn’t see her eyes past her dark sunglasses, but he could tell she was slightly off. Pope didn’t mention it out loud, but he did take a mental note.

Hawk held out her hand, his sunglasses perched in her palm on offer to him. She was mindful to swipe them from Smurf’s when he went up for parole the first time and held onto them with a little pile of his belongings. His head dropped down and he smiled. Not a tilt or a minor lift -a genuine smile, Simple’s on full display, then he looked at Hawk with an emotion that she couldn’t register, but he was happy and that’s all that mattered in that moment. It was a win for her after so many losses. Pope took the shades out of her palm gently and placed them on his face, a small ‘thank you’ leaving him. 

“Can I?” Hawk’s question was hesitant as she tested the waters, giving him the opportunity to initiate any contact. Pope raised a brow, but lifted his arms just high enough to let Hawk know he was alright with it. With all the relief and joy in Hawk’s heart, she wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tightly. His body immediately tensed at the contact after going so long without, but when Hawk went to let go he wrapped his arms around her shoulders to pull her back to him. Hawk felt Pope’s chest expand as he nuzzled his face to the crown of her head, breathed in deep, held it and then exhaled. 

“It’s good to have you back, Pope.” Hawk spoke softly into his shirt before letting him go. She felt the pinch of tears starting to spring, but willed herself to hold them back. “Come on, let’s get you to the hotel. I have the room for the night anyway and it’s a long drive back. Doubt you’ll want to sit in the car that long.”

“You could drag me behind it the whole way home and it wouldn't hold a candle to being in there.” He nodded to the prison with a grimace. 

“Hold onto that thought,” Hawk chuckled, “For now, we’re going to Bakersfield. You hungry?” This brought another grin to his face. 

“Starving.”

“Does anyone know you’re out?” Hawk popped a fry in her mouth as Pope savored his second burger, bypassing the fries. The sky was shades of periwinkle and pink as the sun began to set. They were currently sitting at a table outside of an In-N-Out that was halfway to their hotel so Pope could enjoy his first meal out in the fresh air before the sun set for the first time in three years. 

“Nope.” Not knowing what to say, Hawk just nodded slowly knowing his unexpected return to the Cody residence in the morning was going to be a shit show. 

 “Alright.“ They finished their meals in relative peach. Pope would glance over to Hawk behind his sunglasses. He wasn’t trying to hide it. Three years in prison for anyone would do just about anyone in when it came to consensual intimacy.

When they got back to the hotel Hawk could feel Pope’s eyes on her the whole time they were in the elevator and as Hawk led him down the hall until they reached the door. It was familiar, a little unnerving, but otherwise comfortable. 

“This extra key is for you,” Hawk handed Pope the duplicate. “Not sure if you’ll get restless and want to wander a bit.” He took it and stowed it away in his front pocket. “Room 426” Hawk said out loud as she tapped the keycard against the mechanism. A burst of air conditioning hit Pope and he closed his eyes at the feeling. When he opened them again Hawk was standing inside, holding the door open for him patiently. 

“I haven’t claimed a bed yet, so pick whichever one you want” Hawk offered as he stepped through the threshold. The bed closest to the door was the obvious answer for Pope as he sat on the corner of the mattress. He nearly groaned at the softness of it. His brain went to Hawk’s safety first, not that he was expecting anything to happen. This was one of the nicer hotels in the area, but it was still Bakersfield and he would -without a second thought- put himself in harm's way for her if need be. Of that he was absolutely certain. 

“I’ve been collecting some of your things from Smurf’s since you told me about the hearing that was coming up -just in case. I felt good about the odds this time around.” Hawk placed a small duffel on his bed with a gentle smile and sat on her bed opposite of him. “I didn’t go through your stuff or anything, just your clothes and some things I thought you’d want for tonight and tomorrow.” Pope unzipped the bag and poked around in it, checking out what she brought. A change of clothes, underwear and socks, a new razor and shaving cream, stuff for a shower, and a pair of sneakers. 

“How’d you get this out without Smurf noticing?” Hawk’s sly grin made the corner of his mouth tilt. 

“I’ve been known to have sticky fingers in my youth. While I may be out of practice, I’m unseen when I need to be.” 

“You?” Pope didn’t look convinced. “Little Miss Five Finger Discount?” 

“I was a troubled youth.” Hawk laughed. “And stupid. Don’t need me to tell you that.”

“Nah,” Pope shook his head, his voice soft. “You were never stupid. Probably the smartest out of all of us.”

“That’s not saying much.” She joked, getting a ghost of a chuckle out of Pope. “I only smartened up before I could get caught.” 

“Getting caught was more of Julia’s thing.” Hawk’s stomach sank at the mention of her friend and Pope noticed a change in demeanor, though she tried to mask it. He was more observant than the average person, Hawk had to remind herself, especially watching his own back for three years. Pope could read people and she felt entirely exposed in front of him. He was right about her eyes when they were outside of the prison.

“What happened?” Hawk took a moment to compose her thoughts.

“I really don’t know if it’s my place to say or if this is where I should say it.” Hawk’s eyes didn’t meet his.

“Did something happen to Julia?” Pope’s feelings about his sister were complicated and conflicting. She was a junkie and she betrayed the family -abandoned Pope. He cut contact with her the day she bailed out of Smurf’s house and only got updates through Hawk when Hawk wanted to give them. Hawk only spoke about Julia, never her son. They knew of J’s existence, but not his name, and J didn’t know about their’s -other than that they were out in the world. J didn’t know their names, how old they were, what they looked like. Well, he did, but he didn’t know that they were related to him. Even at her worst, Julia stressed to Hawk that he couldn’t be a part of their world and Hawk had failed her miserably. 

Hawk leaned her elbows on her thighs and dropped her face into her hands for a moment before sitting up straight. 

“She’s gone, Pope.” Hawk’s voice was just above a whisper, so soft he almost didn’t hear it. Pope’s expression didn’t change, but Hawk saw a shift in his eyes. 

“OD?” Hawk nodded. It was always a matter of when with Julia, not if, and it hurt Hawk’s heart to think that even if it was true. Pope blinked a few times, his jaw clenching and unclenching. “When?”

“About a week ago. Funeral’s in two days. I didn’t want to tell you before the hearing in case it went south and I didn’t want you to focus on anything other than possibly getting out, ya know?” He nodded, jaw clenching harder, and stood with the duffel bag. He looked down at Hawk, the space between his brows pinched like he wanted to say something, but took the bag and made his way over to the bathroom. “Pope?” He stopped, but didn’t turn around. “I’m really sorry.” He ultimately stepped forward without another word, without acknowledging Hawk, and locked himself in the bathroom.

Hawk’s head dropped back down into her hands. Pope didn’t know the situation with J -yet, and Hawk had no idea what he was going to do when he did. 

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[zepskies]

Lost on You - Part 9

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Supe!Reader

Summary: 1983 is a big year for you. You’re finally chosen to join the ranks of Payback, led by the most (in)famous supe in the world: Soldier Boy. He’ll never admit that he’s trying his damndest to figure you out. You’ll never admit that he’s actually growing on you. But the problem with this game is deciding who’s the predator, and who is prey.

AN: The great escape…

Song Inspo: “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)” by Kate Bush

Word Count: 7.2K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Blood and violence, death, angst, trauma and PSTD, smut, hurt/comfort and feels.

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Part 9: Free to Be You and Me

Free me, you compelled Eisenstein’s mind.

He obeyed you with a vacant look in his eyes. He unhooked your straitjacket and opened the door. After you grabbed up his cattle prod, you still didn’t release your psychic hold. You ordered him forward, and for the first time you walked freely out of your cell without restraint.

Take me to Soldier Boy.

Eisenstein walked forward. Any time you came across a guard, you tased them long enough to touch whatever scrap of skin you could, usually their face or their neck. You added them to your collective control.

Now you had literal bodyguards protecting you as you made your way through the compound. You hadn’t used your powers in so long. It felt good, like stretching an aching muscle.

Once you reached Ben’s cell, Eisenstein stopped in front of it. When you peered inside the small window on the door, it looked misty as hell.

Clear the gas, you ordered.

The doctor pressed a key of numbers on a pad beside the door, and the gas receded into the vents.

Open the door.

He did as you commanded, then he stepped aside for you. You ordered the guards to stand watch outside the open door before you hurried inside. Ben was lying on the floor, mostly on his side. He was still very naked, though your face warmed as you tried not to focus on that part.

It made you sad more than anything. They’d been keeping him in here like an animal, worse than you, and after what he did for you…you could no longer find it in yourself to hate him.

You took his face into your hands and tapped his cheek.

“Ben… Ben, wake up,” you prodded.

His brows twitched. He made a sound of waking, and you swept his hair out of his eyes. Before they even opened all the way, his hand shot out and grabbed you by the throat. It choked a gasp out of you as you scrambled to grab his wrist.

“Ben,” you said with difficulty. “It’s me…”

Though if you thought about it, after the last things you’d said to him, maybe he did really want to kill you. Maybe he regretted saving you after all.

As he blinked more awake, this time he actually took in your face. His hand relaxed when he recognized you. You panted in relief to see it dawn in his eyes. His thumb slightly brushed across your jaw, and your name fell from his lips, almost in wonder.

“Yeah, it’s me,” you said with a smile and tears in your eyes. “Come on.”

You helped him up the best you could. His frame was bigger and heavier, and he was still a bit unsteady on his feet. He slung an arm around your shoulders and let you guide him out of the room. He tensed at seeing the guards in their green uniforms and Eisenstein standing there, but you held a hand to his chest. His skin there was hot to the touch. You frowned.

Must be whatever the serum did to him.

Dismay pulsed inside you, but you’d think about that later.

“It’s okay, they’re with me,” you told him with a smile, before you looked at one of the guards.

“Give him your clothes,” you ordered.

The man was compelled to set down his gun, take off his hat and the rest of his uniform, even his underwear, socks, and boots. He gave them all to Ben, who raised a brow.

“I’m good without the briefs,” he said with a grimace, tossing the used underwear to the floor. You flickered at a smile.

“Guess you’re going commando,” you said.

Ben scoffed. He muttered, “Yeah, what else is fucking new.”

A sliver of sadness once again pierced you, but you stayed quiet. He released you so he could get dressed. Biting your lip, you glanced away to give him some privacy.

Another guard turned the corner and noticed you all in the hallway. He raised a pointed finger and shouted something in Russian, then he raised his gun. You ordered your guards to shoot the man, but the damage was done. A red alert was sounding overhead.

“Let’s go,” Ben said. After lacing up his boots, he guided you with a hand on your back.

Eisenstein and three guards formed a pack of protection around you and Ben as you moved through the compound. You slowed to a stop at what looked like a laundry room.

“I need something else to wear,” you said. “Once we get outside, I’m gonna stick out—”

Ben eyed your thin gray gown and socks. He grabbed your arm and led you inside.

“Find something in here,” he said, as if that wasn’t your idea.

Instead of wasting time picking an argument, you just nodded in agreement. You looked around and picked through the large clean bin of clothing. It held several mixed bundles of faded green men’s shirts and pants. Finally, you managed to find a dark red tracksuit. It was a men’s size, so it wasn’t going to fit you, but maybe you’d look a little less ridiculous. Ben tossed you the smallest pair of boots he could find, and they were still huge. They would have to do.

“How do we get out of here?” you asked as you got dressed. You turned around for a semblance of modesty, but it didn’t stop the man from glancing over, checking out your ass, bare legs and back.

“We fight,” he replied. There was a dark note in his voice that you understood, and you agreed with him.

“I know. I mean a little more specifically,” you said. When you were dressed, you turned around and met your companion’s grim look. Together, you two returned to the hall and focused on Eisenstein.

“What’s the best way to get out of here?” you asked him. Your hold on his mind forced him to answer honestly.

“The compound is three stories underground. You must take the elevators up to the top,” he responded, almost like a robot.

“Show us,” you ordered.

The doctor complied. He led the way, and the guards covered your back as you hurried through the maze of hallways. Finally, he led you to the main laboratory. Inside were the rest of the doctor’s team trying to filter out and evacuate, while the rest of the security guards formed a line against you. You saw where the scientists were headed, to a large elevator along the far wall. 

“There!” you pointed, grabbing Ben’s arm.

He held you to him quick when the shots fired your way. He protected you with his body as the bullets bounced harmlessly off his skin, though a few of them tore through his clothes. He turned around but kept you behind him. His hands curled into fists, and he rooted his stance. You weren’t sure what he was doing, but you hid yourself behind his broad back.

Ben charged up the power that had already been building in his chest. It had started from the moment they injected him with that goddamn serum.

Now, he knew what it was. It felt like lava inside his chest—a nuclear force that he unleashed throughout the lab. It destroyed everything in its path, from desks and beakers to walls and support beams, to the men screaming and trying in vain to get away.

When it was over, Ben heaved for breath but remained standing. You peered around him in shock.

“Oh my God…”

There wasn’t much left of the lab, just a ruins, and a meager group of survivors, limping, moaning, struggling. Your face evened out, akin to stone. You had no sympathy for any of them. You endured their studies and were forced to hear their thoughts. You knew that these men weren’t men at all.

You decided to finish the job.

“Cover your ears,” you told Ben. He shot you a questioning look, his brows furrowed. 

“Just trust me,” you said.

Then you opened your mouth, and you sang. Your eyes glowed with power, and the force of your siren song gripped every man still alive in the room. They soon began screaming anew, holding their heads as tears of blood streamed from their eyes. That included your guards, as well as Doctor Eisenstein.

Ben was forced to cover his ears, gritting his teeth. It didn’t affect him as badly, but even he yelled in strain.

You released your hold on the room and stopped singing. By then, all the normal humans were dead.

It was your turn to catch your breath. You’d used up a great deal of energy in a short span of time with your powers, and your body was still weak and undernourished. You took an unsteady step forward and nearly fell.

Ben caught you around your waist. He gathered you up against his chest, and you tried to grab onto his arms and keep your head raised.

His gaze flit over your face. “Can you walk?”

You closed your eyes to try and clear the dizziness and black spots from your vision.

“Uh, yeah. Just give me a minute,” you said.

Ben made a sound of impatience. He hefted you into his arms easily. You gasped and held onto him, and he made his way across the ruined lab.

The elevator doors were fried, but the compartment still worked. Without dropping you, he wedged his hand in between the fused metal doors and ripped them open. Then he stepped inside with you in his arms.

You felt the heat still emanating from his chest. You glanced up at him. There, he met your stare. There was so much you wanted to say, and yet, you had no idea how. You wondered if he felt the same way.

He faced forward again, and you did the same. You two rode the elevator all the way up in silence.

You asked him to set you down on your feet when the elevator finally reached the ground floor. It was merely a lobby area with some thick double doors at the end. You practically ran to it, regardless of your unsteady gait. You just wanted to breathe fresh air and see the outside world.

And it was beautiful. You teared up at seeing the gray sky and the expanse of snow-laden mountains in the distance, even though the air was freezing. A gust of wind shoved at you. You held yourself with a shiver and a gasp as you stared out at the expanse of snow ahead. You weren’t dressed for a cold snap in Siberia. 

Ben wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you back. You doubted he felt the cold much with his invulnerable skin. For once you were jealous.

“Come on, there’s a car over there,” he said, pointing to a small parking lot.

The only scientist who escaped the lab was trying to thrust his key into the door lock of his gray sedan. His hands were shaking badly, but he managed to get the key in. A heavy hand fell on his shoulder.

The scientist slowly looked up, and he saw Ben’s grim reflection in the window.

It was the last thing he saw.

You and Ben bickered over the navigation to the closest airport. You had the map in your hands, not that you could read it very well in Russian, but he claimed his instincts were leading him south. You once again wanted to throttle him.

You eventually figured out the way to the closest international airport, thanks to the small image of a plane on the map. You didn’t have luggage, which made things easier, but you still needed to compel several people into giving you a pair of tickets (in coach, as to not be suspicious—through security and Customs before you could board the next flight to New York. By the time you and Ben actually sat down in your shitty seats on the plane, you were exhausted in every way.

“You can have the window seat,” you offered. “I’m probably just going to sleep the whole way.”

Ben tacitly agreed and slid in first, but he watched you lower down into the middle seat with a tired sigh. You glanced over at him.

“How’re you feeling?” you asked.

“Fine,” he answered, his voice deep and stoic as always. He opened up the bag of snacks he’d snuck onto the plane and started chowing down on some beef jerky. He offered you some, and you took a couple of pieces.

It was hard to tell what he was thinking. You felt a bit of anxiety coming off of him with your abilities, though you supposed that could’ve been from the plane gearing up to take off, finally getting you guys the hell out of here.

Or maybe, like you, flashes of the past decade were still filtering through his mind, making this moment seem unreal.

We actually did it. We made it out.

Even so, you weren’t sure what he saw when he looked at you. The last time you two had truly spoken, you’d said a lot of hurtful things, even though many of them were hard truths he’d needed to hear.

“Yes! It is your fault. Because you’re too much of a mean, callous, arrogant, entitled, selfish, fucking asshole to see that everybody hates you!”

“The only thing I really wanted from you was what you could do for my career.”

You remembered the sound of his voice, not even angry anymore. Just resigned.

“It was all an act, huh?”

“Yeah, it was,” you said. “I fucking hope I never have to see your face again.”

The memory of it made your chest sting. It also filled you with questions you were almost afraid to ask.

Did he resent you? Hate you? Was this Bonnie and Clyde escape plan just for convenience’s sake, or…did he actually care about you, deep down?

As you thought about what happened yesterday in his cell, the way he’d saved you from Eisenstein’s experiment—the serum that created the damn nuclear bomb in his chest—you had to wonder…

If he didn’t care about you, why else had he saved you? 

The question continued to revolve in your mind, like discordant notes on a stanza’s refrain, until your exhaustion claimed you.

Flashes of memory scored through your subconscious. They filled your dreams with echoes of pain and the sound of your own voice giving out.

You woke with a start, heaving for breath as panic rose high in your chest and throat. Your heartbeat was pulsing in your ears, and you felt clammy and wrong.

Ben whispered your name sharply. His grip on your arm broke you out of the haze, but it startled you as well. You blinked fast, as if you could clear the nightmare from continuing behind your eyes. He glanced over his shoulder at one of the flight attendants passing by. Ben soon returned his attention to you though.

“Calm down. You’re going to blow our cover,” he said.

You nodded shakily, but you couldn’t help it. Tears welled up in your eyes and made your lips tremble.

“What if they come after us?” you whispered. You were even trembling in your distress. “What if they find us—”

“That’s not gonna happen,” Ben said sternly. “We Kentucky fried all those Commie cocksuckers.”

“I can’t. I can’t go back,” you said, shaking on every word. Your fear, your panic was rising, making your hand clutch at the front of his shirt.

Ben’s frown deepened. He turned toward you and took your face in his big hands, earning a gasp from you. Your watery eyes met his firm ones.

“You’re not going back,” he said. “That shit’s over, you understand me?”

Tears continued to slip down your cheeks, but you gave a jerky nod. He didn’t seem satisfied.

After a moment of hesitation, he pulled you in for a hard kiss. Your breath hitched…but your eyes fell closed. You didn’t care that his scraggly beard rasped against your chin. All you could do was focus on the familiarity of his lips moving against yours.

He pulled away slowly, with him seeming to try and gauge your reaction. Your eyes slid open and met his. Your fingers tangled further in his shirt, and you tugged yourself closer, your lips nearing his in askance.

He answered you, kissing you again.

Landing in LaGuardia Airport was even more of a shitshow than it used to be. A mess of people and traffic and tourists and resident commuters, it didn’t matter that it was at one in the morning. Cars honking and people jabbering and the clanking of suitcases rolling across the ground as airport staff droned instructions on the overhead speakers; it was all discombobulating for you, after having spent so long alone and in the dark, with minimal interactions or stimulation.

You had a feeling you weren’t the only one a bit overwhelmed. You noticed Ben’s tense expression and tight shoulders. His head turned at every sharp sound…and even sounds that weren’t there.

You stayed close to him as you two found your way outside the airport. You watched out for him silently, while he kept a hand on your lower back. Neither of you seemed to want to lose each other in the throng. He managed to hail a cab, beating out a businessman who was busy talking on some kind of cordless phone.

You and Ben shared a bewildered look on that one.

Once you were in the cab, sitting beside Ben, you let out a breath of relief. It was still cold in April, and your overlarge tracksuit wasn’t cutting it.

“Where to?” the cabbie asked. You glanced at your companion and gave him a raised finger, imploring him to follow your lead. You had an idea.

“Take us to the nearest department store,” you said.

“At this time? All the stores are closed,” the cabbie replied.

“Just do what she fucking said, all right, pal?” Ben said, none too gently. He was already on edge from the long flight and antsy to get somewhere comfortable.

“Okay, man. Jeez,” the cabbie muttered. He drove off, peeling away from the curb and merging into traffic.

You couldn’t fault Ben; you felt the same way. You laid a comforting hand on his thigh. He glanced at you and calmed, somewhat. He raised his arm and draped it over the back of your seat. You tentatively took it as an invitation, so you scooched over a little to rest against his side.

Letting out a long breath through his nose, he looked out the window at the passing scenery of the city. The nightlife all flashed by in familiar colors and sounds of cars honking and music playing in the distance. Meanwhile, his fingers brushed along your shoulder absently. As the car’s warmth seeped into your bones, you tried your best to stay awake.

You and Ben broke into Sears via the backdoor alleyway, next to one vile smelling dumpster. There you veered off into separate ways in the department store.

You chose to grab a cart before you went into the women’s section. You started with the bras and panties and pulled things off the display tables and hangers, regardless of their price. Dear God, I’ve missed real underwear. You even grabbed a few silky, lacy things in the lingerie section, with a secret smile over your shoulder.

You grabbed a razor while you were at it, along with some other toiletries, shampoo and conditioner, a generous pile of makeup, and some other hair and body products.

You later perused with a half-critical eye at the rest of the women’s clothing. Apparently, jeans were a lot baggier in the ‘90s, and you were finding too many crop tops and overalls.

What the hell is this decade? you thought, but you managed to find a few outfits you liked that were still versatile enough to mix and match. You didn’t know when you’d be able to do this again.

Within the hour, you met back up with Ben, who was carrying all of his clothing finds piled up in his arms. You smiled in amusement. Typical man.

He dumped it all into your cart—a few pairs of pants and shirts and jackets and shoes, and even a men’s electrical shaving kit.

“Good call, lumberjack,” you said, eyeing his beard. Ben shook his head and ran a palm over the sheer length of it.

“Let’s just get the fuck out of here,” he grumbled.

“Ooh, wait,” you said, pointing at a row of suitcases. “That’ll make this easier.”

He agreed. Soon, you had each picked out your suitcases and packed them with your finds. Then you literally rolled out the way you came.

You paused at the door when you heard a clicking sound, followed by the handle turning. A security guard was just as surprised to catch you and Ben as you were to see him. But before he could even raise his gun, you stepped up and touched his face.

Sleep, and forget.

Within seconds, the man’s eyes rolled up into his head, and he slumped to the floor in a heap.

Ben had the next idea of where to go, after hailing another cab. You went along with it, but you thought he could’ve picked something a little more…inconspicuous.

Your eyes were bright, however, when you stared up at the beautiful building of the Plaza Hotel. You had never stayed here before, but it was also the home of the Oak Room. Ben had taken you there for dinner a handful of times, including on your first date.

“Why here?” you asked, glancing up at Ben. He shot you a knowing smile.

“Was feeling a little sentimental, I guess.”

His hand came to rest on your lower back again, and you ventured with him inside to the hotel lobby. It was pristine, as always, with its polished tile floors and vaulted ceilings. It wasn’t check-in hour, so the place was mostly empty, save for a single front desk clerk on the night shift.

That was in your favor though. You two might’ve raided Sears for new clothes, but you definitely didn’t look like the Plaza’s typical guests. With a quasi-flirtatious hand over the young man’s wrist, you were able to compel the clerk to book you and Ben into an entire suite with a king-sized bed, indefinitely, and all complimentary of the Plaza Hotel.

“Enjoy your stay,” he said robotically as he gave you the room keys. You gave him a smile with the glow of your eyes.

“Thank you. I’m sure we will.”

You were run down. You felt it in what seemed like all of the joints, muscles, and sinew in your body when you and Ben got into your suite. The place was lavish and beautifully decorated in soft yellows, crèmes, and beiges, with dark wood furniture, vases full of pink roses, and fine art on the walls, but all you cared about was dumping your suitcase on the floor and dropping face-first onto the bed.

“Oh my God, a real fucking bed,” you said into the clean, soft cotton. It actually brought tears to your eyes.

You managed to turn yourself onto your back as Ben rolled his suitcase to a stop beside yours. He watched you in amusement.

“You did good, sweetheart,” he said, briefly grasping your arm as he passed by. It warmed a smile and a blush onto your face.

“What do you feel like eating?” he asked. “I’m gonna order some food.”

You shook your head and gave a dismissive wave of your hand.

“Anything. I’ll eat literally anything.”

He went to the phone on one of the nightstands and dialed Room Service. He ordered enough food to feed three of him (and one of him could be a whole dinner party). Satisfied with the promise of fast service, he hung up and started unpacking his suitcase for a change of clothes.

You sat up with a groan. “You can take the first shower. I need a minute to get situated.”

More like, gather your strength. Using your powers so much across the course of your journey back to the States had taken it out of you, beyond what you’d expected. You needed at least a few of days of solid R&R. Make it a year.

Ben eyed you as he began to unbutton his shirt.

“Or, you can join me,” he said.

You turned to face him more fully at that. Your mouth parted to reply, but you hesitated. His offer took you by surprise, even though it probably shouldn’t have.

He saw your uncertainty. What surprised you even more was that he didn’t press it. He just nodded slightly, and went into the bathroom to finish undressing. Within a few minutes, you heard the showerhead turn on.

What do you want here? you asked yourself.

It should’ve been a simple question. Somehow, it wasn’t.

But you made a decision. This time, you weren’t thinking three steps ahead. You weren’t thinking about consequences, or what people would expect of you. You just thought about what you wanted, here and now.

Slowly, you got up from the bed. You took a breath to steady yourself, and you went into the bathroom. The mirror was already fogged up with steam. Behind the shower curtain, you could hear Ben scrubbing and humming some tune to himself, making you smile.

You shed the ratty old jumpsuit from your body with slightly shaking hands. From anticipation or nerves, you didn’t know which. After stepping out of the heap of fabric, you called his name softly. You knew he heard it, because the humming stopped.

Ben pulled back the shower curtain to find you standing there, gazing up at him while biting the inside of your lip. His eyes drew down your form, over each and every bare curve. You wondered if he remembered it all with the same clarity as you did, the way his body used to fit against yours.

He reached out his hand, and you took it, letting him guide you into the shower. He slid his free hand around the back of your neck and drew you into a passionate kiss, hotter than the spray from the showerhead beating down on you both. His arm came down around your waist and he turned you around to press you against the wall.

You gasped at the cold impact of the tile, but you welcomed the heat of him. You met his each and every demanding kiss in kind, sinking your fingers through his wet, longer hair and dragging your nails against his scalp. Meanwhile, his hands were everywhere, sliding possessively up your sides, up smooth skin to squeeze your breasts, rolling your hard and sensitive nipples under his thumbs.

You arched into him with a pleased moan. It had been so damn long since you were touched. Perhaps it was a poetic form of irony that he was the last man to have ever fucked you.

Ten long years. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about his hands, his mouth, the memories and the feeling of his cock inside you, stretching you, filling you. The thought had you slipping a hand down between his body and yours, roaming down his chest and abs, just to caress the full risen length of him in your palm.

He groaned into your mouth, instinctively pressing himself into your hand and caging you harder against the wall. His lips veered away to kiss and suck his way down your neck. You panted for breath against him.

“Ben, please,” you pleaded. Your hand pumped him faster, twisting along his shaft and goading him to full mast.

He panted with a nod, nosing along your throat. “All right, baby doll. I gotcha.”

He made his way down your body to lap at your breasts, taking a nipple between his teeth and teasing you there with the scruff of his beard. You moaned, had to release your hold on him when he took your hand and pinned it by your head on the warm tile. His other hand skimmed down your wet body to cup your mound.

You whimpered, instinctively pressing yourself into his hand. You felt his familiar smirk between your breasts, just before his thumb drew down between the slick folds of your pussy. It swept back up to brush your clit, and you jolted against his hand, releasing another moan. You were so damn sensitive already.

Ben seemed to enjoy it. He took his time working you up, strumming along and inside your slit with his fingers, making you clench on nothing in anticipation. Just when you opened your mouth to snap at him to fucking touch you already, he obliged you, slipping two long fingers deep into your channel.

You gasped and shuddered at the invasion, but it was a welcome one. He built up a rhythm, rocking his fingers inside of you while his thumb pressed and circled at your clit. It didn’t take long before your inner walls were clenching around his fingers as you shuddered your release. Your warmth coated his hand down to the knuckles.

Ben kissed you deeply, cutting off your moaning of his name. From there, he grabbed your thigh and helped you hike your foot up on the soap dish on the wall, so he could make room for himself between your legs.

He used the remnants of your slick to coat himself, before he sheathed his cock deep inside you with one push. Both of you groaned at the feeling, a sweet relief and a tight fucking fit. It was like your body remembered the shape of him.

“You still take my cock just right. Fit me like a fucking glove,” he said, sliding out of you with ease. He eased back in with a snap of his hips, inching you up higher on the wall. You clung to his arms tighter, with your nails biting fruitlessly into his flesh.

“God, yes,” you uttered.

But just when he started picking up a rougher, delicious set of thrusts, Ben faltered as his body locked up on him with the force of his orgasm. He came quickly, too quickly, for him. His brows furrowed as he caught his breath. You picked up on his surprise, and then his frustration—at himself.

“Fuck!” he growled, fisting a hand against the wall.

You were a little stunned yourself, but quickly you had to try not to laugh. Biting your lip, you reached up to stroke his cheek.

“It’s okay,” you panted. “It’s okay, baby. It’s just been a long time.”

After a few seconds of continued seething, Ben met your gaze. Seeing that you weren’t judging him, he reluctantly settled down.

“Still think I’m an asshole?” he asked.

The question caught you off guard, but you softened into a smile.

“That remains to be seen,” you replied.

He almost huffed. He slid a wet strand of hair behind your ear.

“You still afraid of me then?” he said.

Your amusement faded. You tilted your head at him, raising your brows. He was still inside you, and he asked this question?

But if he was asking you that, then he really did want to know. You grasped his chin and made sure he looked you in the eyes.

“Are you going to hurt me?” you asked, in a tone that quietly demanded. “Am I safe with you?” 

His eyes held a weight you hadn’t seen before.

“You’re safe with me,” he said.

You felt his sincerity. It rang true in his words, and you saw it for yourself. You believed him.

So you nodded. You let your hand fall to his chest. “Okay.”

He nodded as well. Finally, he untangled himself from you and turned off the showerhead, the water now run cold. He stepped out of the shower first, but he turned to give you a hand. You accepted his help as you came out and grabbed a couple of towels for both of you. After you had yours wrapped around your body, you reached for his arm to earn his attention.

He had been honest with you. You felt it was time for you to give him the same.

“Ben,” you said, with a sigh. “Back then, I lied to you.”

He snorted. “Which time?”

You gave a wry look, but you were serious. You shifted closer to him. You both stood there, dripping wet, with mere inches in between while Ben looked down at you, and you up at him.  

“This. You and me…it wasn’t all an act,” you said, as tears began to well up in your eyes. “I just didn’t want to admit it, even to myself.”

Ben hummed in contemplation. He raised a hand to draw a line down your cheek with his thumb.

“Hmm. Well. Maybe you weren’t the only one,” he said eventually.

Your lips tugged at a smile. He leaned down and met you with another kiss, and this time it was a slow, simmering heat.

Ben took his time in the bathroom afterward to shave his face with the clippers and razor he bought. When he padded back into the dining area, by now fully clothed in a shirt and some sweatpants, he found you already eating without him. You were tearing into some chicken parmesan ravenously while watching a show on TV. 

“What’s on?” he asked, sitting down across from you at the two-seater table. He grabbed one of the plates with his steak and potatoes and began tearing into his own meal. He intended to hit the chicken wings next, or maybe the burger sliders and fries.

“Seinfeld?” You sounded unsure. “It just started. Supposed to be a comedy, I think.”

You and Ben watched the episode until the credits rolled, but he shook his head, licking his fingers after finishing his fifth chicken wing. You were drawn to the sight—grossed out, and yet, a little turned on.

“Nothing happened in that whole goddamn episode,” he said.

You were inclined to agree. So what if they couldn't get a damn table at a Chinese restaurant?

“Okay,” you checked the pamphlet TV Guide. “Let’s try…Friends. It’s on next.”

“The One with the East German Laundry Detergent,” was the name of the episode, according to the TV Guide. You actually enjoyed yourself throughout the whole thing. Even Ben laughed at some of Chandler’s lines. You hadn’t heard that rich, boisterous laugh of his in so long, it made you laugh just by proximity.

By the end of the episode, he was finally done picking at the leftover food. You had finished a long time ago, but you liked seeing him sitting more relaxed in his chair, less on edge.

“Now that one was funny,” you said, when the end theme started to play. Ben balled up his napkin and tossed it on the table.

“At least Rachel’s hot, but don’t tell me she gets with that dopey-eyed pussy.”

“Aw, you mean Ross? I think he’s cute.”

Ben shot you a glance, his brows knitting together. You couldn’t help smiling as you sipped at your glass of wine. He got the feeling you were teasing him. (And you were.)

“Come here,” he said, hooking his foot around a leg of your chair. You yelped as he dragged you close enough to take you by the arm and tip you over, into his lap. You allowed it with a laugh and wrapped your arms around his neck. His hand slid up your thigh in your little pajama shorts, while you caressed his cheek and explored the new beard he was sporting. It was nice and trim, along with the smoother sweep of his hair.

“I like this, by the way,” you said. Your nails scratched through his beard playfully. You kissed his cheek. “Very handsome.”

Ah, there it is, the reappearance of that smug smile of his. You decided to take it down a peg.

“I didn’t mind the lumberjack though,” you teased. “I knew no one would recognize us with that shag carpet on your face.”

Ben’s face fell into annoyance. He stood, picking you up along with him. After he brought you over to the bed, he fairly dropped you down onto it, making sure to smack your ass for good measure. You squealed with laughter.

“You wanna fucking sass me? Fine,” he said, raising a brow. “I’ll just have to punish you.” 

“Nooo, don’t do that. I’ll probably like it,” you said, with both amusement and desire glinting in your eyes while you slid your arms around his broad shoulders. You slipped your legs around his waist as well, guiding his hips down against your already pulsing core. 

Ben broke slightly, his amusement peeking through.  

“I don’t remember you having such a smart mouth,” he said. You trailed your fingers across his cheek. 

“I think you’ll learn to like it,” you said, shortly before you lured him into a kiss.  

He fucked you well into the early morning, where you two finally got some sleep. Around mid-afternoon, you woke and ate and showered and continued to relearn each other’s bodies. You spent the entire day and night in that hotel room, recuperating and healing in your own ways. 

Late that night, you rested in the crook of his arm while he smoked a blunt. You’d compelled one of the bell men to find some reefer. You knew it would help Ben sleep better, and it served to calm you down when anxiety threatened to choke you again. 

It was never as bad as it was on the plane ride over, but sometimes it hit you at odd moments. 

Are they coming after us? Does Vought already know we’re here? Will they try to ship us back?

You knew you had been careful, but anything was possible. 

You extended an expectant hand. Ben took one more puff before he handed the blunt over. You puffed a couple of times and passed it back with a cough. 

“I still don’t really like this shit,” you said in distaste. 

Ben chuckled. “You still don’t know how to smoke it, either.”

You sighed in amusement, stroking a hand over his thigh absently. You two hadn’t bothered getting dressed in hours. Cheers played on the TV—something you both could agree on.

“I need to check in with my family,” you said after a while. You missed your brother especially. God, your nephew had to be close to fifteen years old by now. The thought made your eyes water, but with a deep breath, you managed to taper it down.

You turned to the man beside you. “Do you…do you have family anywhere?”

Ben let out another long puff of smoke. 

“Anyone who mattered is long dead,” he said. He looked down at you, meeting your gaze. “You’re all I’ve got.”

You smiled a little sadly, but you grasped his hand and threaded your fingers through his. 

“But I’ve got a score to settle,” he said. The hardening tone of his voice concerned you.

“With who?” you asked. 

Ben reached over to the nightstand and put out his blunt on an ashtray. He shook his head. 

“Everyone,” he said lowly, “in that goddamn Tower.”

You frowned. You released his hand so you could turn over and face him. 

“Ben, I know how you feel, but think about this for a second.”

“It’s all I’ve been thinking about since we got out of motherfucking Siberia,” he said tersely. “Those cocksuckers are gonna pay for what they did.”

You took a steadying breath. “Okay, taking on the team is one thing. But Arthur, Stan Edgar, all of Vought? It’s dangerous.”

“And? Don’t try to tell me what I can’t fucking do,” he barked. 

You glared at him, sitting up and taking the blankets with you to cover yourself.  

“Don’t you fucking snap at me!” Your voice cracked just as firmly as his. “I’m trying to tell you to be careful. Because if not, we could wind up exactly where we were before, or worse. And I told you, I can’t…I can’t go back.”

You began to break down at the end there. Your lips trembled as your anxiety bubbled over, making tears spring to your eyes. They stung hot and escaped the corners of your eyes. 

“Ben, I can’t—” you hiccupped. 

His brows were furrowed, his jaw clenched, but now, it was less so in anger. He took your face into his hands like he had on the plane, so you’d focus on him. 

“Hey, hey,” he said, earning your attention. “That’s never gonna happen. I’m not gonna let it happen. But I am going to put all those spineless bastards into the fucking ground where they belong.”

He wiped at your tears with his thumbs. After a brief pause, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your lips. Then another, a reassuring kiss on your forehead.

He pulled back to earn your gaze.

“Then we take it all back,” he said. “You and me.”

It took you a moment to come back to yourself. You were still apprehensive about this plan, but you knew you didn't want him to do it alone. Nor did you want to end up alone, without him. You sniffed and nodded. 

You and me.    

 AN: 😮‍💨 Did you get hit in the feels? If yes, get ready for more of that. But after their long journey back to the U.S., their relationship is shifting now, hopefully in a more positive way (despite the tough road Ben is setting them on).

Also, there might just be a BMD easter egg in there somewhere. Did you catch it? 😉

Next Time:

More heart-to-hearts, more of "the Plan," and we get a bit more into Ben's side of things...

What time is it? It was hard to remember to keep track of that now, even with the digital clock on the nightstand. It was only midnight, but to his body, it felt like morning.

You were dead asleep. Occasionally you let out soft hums, and other semi-arousing sounds. His lips tugged upward. Still moans in her sleep.

He drew down the comforter and sheets slowly from your back. He was greeted by smooth skin, except where some marks had been made permanent. His fingers traced carefully over a rough, scarred patch of skin above your hip, as if you had been tased there repeatedly.

His jaw clenched. He could still remember the sounds he used to hear—your screams through the walls of the compound. He remembered when you eventually stopped begging for it all to stop.

▶️ Keep Reading: PART 10

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[wordslikesilver]

The Rat is Wonder Woman

So, I've been on a Wonder Woman binge out of curiosity for the character and there's so much I wanna say about her to you all it's hitting me like divine madness but there's a really, really incredible page that won't leave me alone as I've continued reading.

This spread comes from Wonder Woman (2023) issue #9 and the context around it is that Diana has been locked in solitary confinement by the main villain. In order to cope, we see her imagining herself in countless different situations, speaking and venting and passing the time with an imaginary version of Steve Trevor, the first and most important man she ever met in her life, all while her tenuous grasp on her sanity slips more and more with the isolation.

She can speak to animals and she tried to find companionship with the rat who crawled about in her cell, but it wouldn't speak to her. For whatever reason, it simply refused. Eventually, they ceased to bring her meals and starved her so she begged the rat to run. She warned it, again and again, she wouldn't be strong enough and she'd eat it if it didn't run away.

It didn't listen.

This page just haunts me, I think perhaps forever. Diana Prince is Wonder Woman, she's basically the CEO of strong independent womanhood. She has no kryptonite, Batman's contingency plan to stop Wonder Woman if she ever goes rogue is "Throw Superman at her and pray it's enough." And then this, this page so elegantly shows this... sensitivity in her that genuinely makes her SUCH a strong character to me and grounds her in a way nothing else ever has, in all the attempts to show her as a flawed and deeply emotional person that I've seen.

Extended solitary confinement is considered one of the worst kinds of torture imaginable and for very good reason. We humans are a social species and this entire issue is a testament to what truly brutal torture it is to be isolated and locked away in a dark box forever. Even a demigod would feel so ruined by it that a rat would pity and comfort and hold them.

Other details that feel so beautiful besides the bioluminescent beach (I must see one in real life before I die, I must, I must) are the clothes, to me. In this panel, she is so vulnerable in her speech and emotions, she is so laid bare, and yet she is dressed in casual comfy vacation clothes out on a nice beach where one would typically feel wonder and relief and not be calmly venting about how they feel lower than gutter scum.

When she ate "her rat" this is how she processed it. With a long laugh of fragile, teetering madness, vulnerably recounting the actions that happened in the cell where the readers can't see, with her face slowly twisting through to guilt and then lastly, faint horror at what she felt. Horror that she could possibly enjoy such a sadistic thing, this cruel pettiness that that rat would ignore her. She feels so broken down inside and this, this is such a beautiful moment where she herself is forced into the same emotional circumstances of countless criminals and "villains." Becoming a person so pushed to the edge of desperation and suffering deep in lonely darkness, that WHEN they turn to depravity, not if, they would find they even came to enjoy the act, instead of simply doing it with reluctant revulsion, because anything feels better than nothing.

She is, deep in her heart, a redeemer. She will see the best in everyone she saves. Everyone she stops. She will beckon even the worst foes back to the light and offer hand to the suffering. Even the mad War god Ares or accursed and abused cannibal demigod Cheetah. Not only all that, she is the CEO, progenitor of and greatest champion of the modern Strong Independent Woman archetype. You're not better than Wonder Woman. If you starved and were ignored as you suffered alone in the dark, you would eat your rat too.

And then, she must live with that. But it's easier to live with something if you mustn't face the consequences. If the only consequences are that nothing got better and nothing got worse. Quietly ready to tuck that feeling away forever where it shan't ever be examined or forgiven. Meeting the next rat, feeling relief when it spoke, then having her heart shatter like glass when she realized she'd eaten this rat's mate. I know how raw that feeling is. You will never forget that feeling. The fleeting moment of thinking she could lie only further humanizing her before she broke down and admitted what she'd done. Yearning to repent, to be punished, to feel anything at all in this darkness with the same fervor you feel when you're drowning and claw for air.

"Why?" "I pity you." "I will comfort you."

The rat is Wonder Woman.

In this arc, where Diana is hunted and hated by the US government for being a foreign citizen, an Amazon of Themyscira, a paradise she was considered insane for wanting to leave, seen as lower than any man of America, the rotten place she's chosen to love, she is scorned the same way this rat is. The rat knows they are the same. The rat can still leave and go see her loved ones, however. The rat is still free. And so, the rat forgives Diana for what she's done while she's suffered. She comforts her. She comforts the one who is hurting so badly, that they are comforted even by something so hated as a dirty sewer rat. I think this single moment speaks more closely to Diana's character than decades of authors attempting to get it right when trying to show how she remains kind even after the world breaks her with its cruelty. It shows that even at the bottom of the world there is kindness and love and sisterhood and hope.

This post is SO long already so I'll probably tie it off here but please understand, I am literally never going to stop thinking about this damn rat and how beautifully written this entire series has been. And just so you all know, yes, the rat is okay <3

[weirdsht]

Cliché - LoTCF & Venion Stan! Reader

notes: ngl i took more time dwelling whether i should make this a series. but i never did two series at once because i can't handle the commitment, so i compromised by making it a long oneshot. ALSO TRIGGER WARNING: I put my psych major to work while writing this fic so...

tags: TRIGGER WARNING PLEASE CAREFULLY READ THE TAGS (dw nothing too graphic for every warning) depression, eating disorder, anxiety, self-loathing, torture and abuse, guilt, like lots of guilt, passive to mild suicidal thoughts, not being able to control your body, catatonic depression, anhedonia, blood, cursing, vague novel spoilers, Taylor Stan being the best brother out there, open ending i think, can be seen as hurt/comfort

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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Navigation Masterlist Platitude (pt. 2)

Tak Tak Tak

The sound of the horses of the carriage filled your ears as soon as you woke up.

…Wait horses?

How could there be horses when you were sure you were inside a lecture hall?

“Young master I’m glad you’re awake. We are nearing Viscount Tolz’s territory.”

Viscount Tolz? That sounds familiar, but you can’t quite put your finger on it as you just woke up.

You observed the unfamiliar place you woke up in. You seem to be inside a carriage, years of reading manhwas, manhuas, mangas and web novels have gotten you familiar as to what they looked like. 

Observing the interior a bit more, you notice that the carriage you are in seems luxurious. That and the servant riding a horse outside the carriage window just called you “young master”. 

‘Did I transmigrate? I swear I was just nodding off during one of my lectures…’

“You. What date is it? My head feels fuzzy from sleeping in this uncomfortable carriage.”

‘I’ve rotten my brain reading that damn isekai genre. I already know the drill, I should be a villain or something. I guess I should be glad I didn’t end up as an animal, those things have gotten popular these days…’

You silently shivered at the thought of being a bird or a snake.

“I’m sorry about the seat young master. You’re custom cushion should be arriving tomorrow. As for the date, it is currently year 780 of the Felix Calendar.”

Shit

By the calendar mentioned you could already tell what series you transmigrated to. There was only one series you know that uses Felix Calendar.

Lout of the Count’s Family

And it looks like you got sucked into that novel a year before things began.

“As soon as that arrives install it in my carriage. This thing is as hard as a brick.”

Contrary to what you say, the seat is very soft and comfortable. However, if you really did transmigrate as a villain like in all those manhwas you’ve read then you figured you have to act as bratty as possible. 

“I understand young master. We are nearing the villa soon, I’m sure young master Neo has prepared your room so you can rest.”

Fuck. You’re fucked.

Out of all the small villains in existence you just had to steal the body of a dragon abuser. You just had to get in the body of Venion Stan.

Venion out of all people. Even Neo Tolz or Adin or Duke Fredo would’ve been better picks.

But no, the gods of this world just had to put you in the body of an atrocious villain that has no use.

Never mind running away in the countryside while enjoying all the inheritance, there’s no way that black dragon is going to leave you alone.

…And for sure the black dragon is already 3 years old, there’s no saving you now. Anger and despair are already planted in that poor baby’s heart.

Everything moved too quickly to your liking. One moment you were in the carriage, then next Neo was greeting you. After you blinked you’re already in the black dragon’s cell.

‘Can I survive a year before Cale comes here to get the dragon?’

The black dragon can’t use mana, let alone dragon fear. But his vicious gaze full of animosity is already enough to make you feel guilt and fear.

He looked so pitiful. The cell might be spacious, but a cage will still be a cage. He was just there, in the middle of the cell. Chained and unable to fight back.

The buffet in the middle doesn’t help the queasiness you feel in your stomach.

“Do-”

‘Don’t bother with it, I won't be visiting the dragon further.’

The words you want to say are stuck in your throat. Some unknown force is stopping you from uttering them out.

You figured it was so that things would still go according to the plot.

‘I know I wasn’t the greatest in my previous life, but was I so bad that I must experience this?’

Tap Tap Tap

Heels of your shoes tapped against the ground as you walked towards the table. You tried to stop your body, but it was useless. No matter how hard you try to stop yourself you just keep moving.

“Start.”

Your voice- no Venion’s voice said and the torturer started whipping the dragon.

Gulp

There’s a bile in your throat threatening to show itself. However, you swallowed it. The scene may look horrendous, but you didn’t look away. You didn’t stop eating the feast in front of you. You didn’t stop laughing at the small dragon’s demise.

More like you couldn’t.

You wanted to cry. You wanted to go back to your world and curl up in your bed. You wanted all of this to be a dream.

‘Is this the doing of the gods? If so then why must they be cruel.’

“Is there anything else you want to do young master?”

“No just go out. All of you. I will follow in a short while”

Following your order, everyone in the dungeon started heading out. After a few seconds, there was no one but you and the dragon in the room.

Bleurgh!

As soon as there was no one else in the room you vomited. Good thing there was a bathroom attached in the dungeon. The bathroom door was wide open as you puked your gut out, showing the black dragon a view of your pale face. Despite that you didn’t care, your only focus was to get rid of the horrible feeling running through your body.

It’s not as if the dragon would care about its torturer.

That night you spent the entire time in your bed tossing and turning. Too tired to sleep but too scared to face the nightmares you have to combat every time you do.

“Go find a magician or something and commission a temperature-regulating device. I want it installed at the cave before we visit the Tolz territory again.”

“As you wish your highness. However, aren’t you spending a bit too much on a mere pet?”

“You dare think I’m buying all these things for that pesky dragon? I’m buying it for my own comfort, you should be aware of how I want to be comfortable all the time.”

“It seems I made a mistake. I shall prepare everything you desire for the next time you visit the villa.”

Six months has already passed since you became Venion Stan. Adjusting wasn’t easy, especially when there are more times when you can’t control your body than when you can.

But still, you persevered.

It wasn’t like you had a choice anyway. You have already taken over this body so you have to live in it. That and there’s also the fact that you want the original plot to go smoothly.

You want the black dragon to experience justice.

So you persist. Even when the atrocities you did make you puke. Even when you want to kill yourself.

You didn’t

It wasn’t right.

You may not be the original Venion Stan, but it wouldn’t be right to take away the revenge the black dragon deserves. That was why you decided to persevere.

Persevere now and suffer at the dragon's hands later before finally dying.

That was your plan.

You didn’t care about other things anymore. Money, territory, power; none of those things mattered to you anymore. Too disgusted with yourself and everything you have been doing to even attempt to enjoy those things.

However

There’s a silver lining in all of this.

After a month of being in your new body, you have found a loophole. You found a way to combat some of the restrictions to your actions. As long as you sound selfish and villainous enough, you can get away with saying and doing most things.

Using this knowledge to your advantage, you slowly made life for the dragon easier. You bought a lot of things such as cushions, a more comfortable collar, and the temperature-regulating device you just ordered. You also used this fact to lessen your hold on both Taylor Stan and the underworld.

“Venion, I heard you withdrew the people watching over your older brother.”

You scowled at Marquis Stan’s words as if the mere mention of Taylor Stan upsets you.

“Father, what can that cripple do? He has no legs, no power, and barely has any money. Putting people to watch over someone like that will only be a waste of resources.”

Luckily, the marquis agreed with your reasoning and let the situation go while praising how smart you are.

‘Hopefully by this Taylor Stan can gather more information now that my people are now hovering over him.’

That night you managed to sleep for approximately 30 minutes. The longest sleep you’ve experienced since coming over to this world.

Bleurgh!!

It was another torture session and once again you were vomiting everything you ate that week after the session. 

While you were busy trying to not make a mess on the bathroom floor, you didn’t notice a certain young dragon observing you.

He may be three years old and he may not know much but his still smart because he's a dragon. That was why he noticed the changes in his captor that started around 8 months ago. 

The young dragon noticed the hesitation in your eyes whenever you entered the dungeon. How you were puking from self-hatred and not because of how bad the food was like you said. How your laugh is soulless, especially when he’s being tortured. 

How you stagger the slightest bit while standing up after those sessions. How your hands shook ever so slightly from guilt. How you tried to make the cell as comfortable as possible for him despite saying you were doing it for your own comfort. 

How your eyes look more lifeless each time he sees you.

The young dragon noticed all of it. He may not know what caused the change, but he knows that everything you’re doing is against your volition.

“Fuck I lost my appetite already. I’m going back to my room. Feed those scraps to that dragon.”

You ordered your servants on your way out. Walking as if your entire body wasn’t shaking ten seconds ago.

The black dragon just watches you with observant eyes. 

The “scraps” you were talking about were the feast that was barely even touched. It had always been like this for a few months now. You would barely touch your food and give it to the dragon in the guise of treating him like a dog.

For now, the young one accepts the food. He’ll figure out your intentions later.

“Lessen the guards at the dungeon. Remove all the cushions too, I’m going to change them. Do the same thing to the dragon’s collar too. While you’re at it increase the guards stationed at my quarters. Put the guards in the cave to my room.”

It’s the fated day. Time passed and now is already the day the black dragon will be rescued by Cale, Choi Han, and the cat tribe children. You already met them earlier and acted as arrogant as you could.

Hence the preparation. You need to make it look like the dragon was kept in a horrible condition. Of course, he was… but like much more worse conditions.

“Assassins have been increasing their attempts lately. If I see someone assigned to my room not doing your jobs I’m going to feed you to the sharks. Oh, and you.”

You pointed at a random servant passing by.

“Here’s some gold, buy some alcohol from the inn. Don’t tell anyone I was the one who bought it.”

“May I ask what you’re going to do with the alcohol young master?”

Everyone knows that Venion Stan deemed things not noble enough as disgusting. But you felt guilty for pushing that old man around earlier so you made an excuse.

“Depends on my mood. I’m feeling generous so if you all guard my room tonight then I’ll give you the alcohol tomorrow to drink.”

Everyone held in their shock.

“But if you don’t then I’m going to throw each bottle in your heads while drinking real wine.”

With that, you turned around to lie down on your bed.

That night was the same as every other night you spent in this world. Sleepless. However, that night you felt some weight being lifted off your shoulders as you heard the ruckus Choi Han was causing outside.

‘He should be curled up in Cale’s lap while looking at me viciously’

You stealthily peeked at Cale as you walked towards your seat. Just a moment ago he was trying to rile you up by acting obnoxious. It was hard to try and act like you were keeping your composure when you agreed with everything he said.

“What the..!” 

‘Shit did I not put enough strength into my acting?’

You barely felt your blonde hair sway as you slapped the table in supposed shock at Taylor Stan’s entrance.

‘Maybe I should’ve forced myself to eat a little bit more before coming here…’

Gritting your teeth, you ignore the black spots dancing in your vision. Today is a vital day, you can’t ruin the script by fainting because you only ate 3 spoonfuls during breakfast.

Luckily, it looks like everything is going according to the plot. Based on everyone’s reaction, you looked like an enraged noble.

Days following that event were even more chaotic. Not only was the terrorist attack in the plaza terrifying but trying to act as if you were trying to hold on to your position when you just wanted to give it to Taylor was even tougher.

As usual, you persevered.

Comforted yourself at the thought that in a few months, you can embrace death’s sweet presence.

“Do I look different without the blood?”

You felt scared and relieved at the sight of the black dragon that now goes by Raon Miru.

Scared because even though you have resigned yourself to your fate, and felt like you deserve it even, you still feel fear for what’s about to come.

Relief because he looks healthy. Chubby even. You were glad that he was living a good life after he got away from you.

Disregarding your feelings, you let the poisonous fog into your body. Resigning yourself to the four days of hell waiting.

Ugh…

Your body feels sluggish when you wake up.

“What the… It hasn’t even begun yet why does that bastard’s eyes already look dead?”

“That’s what I was telling you human! That punk's eyes tell a different story from his actions.”

Soft. Whatever you were lying down on felt soft. It wasn’t like what you’ve read in the novel where Venion was lying down on the hard ground. The magic collar was also soft. It felt similar to the one you bought for Raon a year ago. 

You would know because you made sure to pick the softest one yourself.

“His eyes look more dead than when I last saw him at that cave.”

Eyes? Were they talking about yours?

You didn’t know. You didn’t care.

You just want everything to end.

Gasp!

Someone gasped, you think it was one of the kittens.

“T-tears! Why is he crying? I only put paralysis in poison earlier.”

Crying? You were crying?

You sit up. It was hard because of the chains tying your arms but you still did it.

As you look down on your lap, tears are indeed flowing.

‘Why am I crying? Wasn’t I waiting for this day?’

Everything was already planned in your head. You get tortured then you will go crazy. Then you will kill yourself and make everyone believe you did it because you’re crazy.

So why are you crying now?

Why are you in tears as if you don’t deserve what’s happening to you?

Why do you weep as though you haven’t committed several crimes this past year?

How dare you do so.

How dare you act so pitifully when the child you tortured is right in front of you?

Shameless. Till the end, you’re so shameless.

Click! 

Thunk!

Beacrox unlocked the magic collar. As he did you saw it falling on the ground.

“Ah, so there really was fur inside…”

Your voice sounded soulless. It sounded so dead that even you were shocked at how you sounded.

But it also felt cathartic.

After two years of trying to act lively. Two years of acting as if you were fighting for something.

You can finally let out your real emotions.

Two years. It took more than two years for you to be granted that privilege. 

“Speak. I heard you bought the same thing for Raon.”

“You really named him Raon…”

Beacrox grabbed your collar. He looked furious. If you remember things correctly, he just heard about the dragon’s story a while ago so you understand his feelings.

“He told you to answer. Why did you buy something like that after 3 years?”

“I was getting tired of looking at the hard metal… There was nothing in that cave but stone and metal…”

Your tears are still flowing. It looks like they were crying a whole year’s worth. 

Despite that, you were not shaking, nor were your eyes looked sad.

Contrarily, you looked like those creepy dolls with soulless eyes that cried in horror films.

That low-key scared everyone in the room.

“Before, when I was three, I saw you shaking every time you came to the cave. Why was that?”

What’s happening? Why is there a sudden interrogation? You signed up for torture not for a cross-examination.

Still, you answered the dragon.

“I can’t tell.”

“Is it related to how you can’t seem to say what you want at times?”

Just how much did that kid notice in the few times you visited him?

“Yes. When are you going to get started? I need to meet with my hyung after this…”

Meet him and then die.

So please hurry up already.

“Hey punk, you sound like you already know what’s going to happen.”

“It’s obvious. This place looks exactly like that damn cave.”

You were getting tired of talking.

Actually, you were tired. Period.

“But it doesn’t look like how I left the cave when you rescued him.”

“Yes, because that wasn’t how the cave I lived in looked like. It looked like this.”

And the “this” Raon was talking about felt more homey. There were soft lights and a bunch of pillows and cushions. There were even some stuffed toys and blankets.

Was this how you decorated Raon’s cave?

You can’t remember.

Not that you care.

“Can we get started already please?”

“I thought you were a sadist, not a masochist.”

Something snapped inside you at that moment. You didn’t know why it was Choi Han’s comment that riled you up. Maybe it wasn’t the comment but the waiting that set you off.

“Just do it already! Are you dumb?! This fucking plot will not move unless you fucking torture me!”

In that moment you felt a searing pain in your chest.

“Argh!”

Blood flowed out from your mouth.

‘So that’s what happens when I try to push the restrictions.’

Coughing out blood when you’re body was already weak from not eating and sleeping enough was bound to cause you to faint.

And faint you did.

“Young master Cale said you were unconscious for 4 days. The doctor told me you were both malnourished and fatigued. One of your servants confessed that it’s an achievement if you eat 4 spoonfuls every meal. The young master also mentioned how it seems like you were forced to do everything you’ve done… Just what is happening? Hmm? Tell this hyung of yours.”

“Hyung…”

In the end, you didn’t get tortured…

“What’s going to happen now? What’s going to happen to me?”

You diverged from the fate carved out for Venion Stan.

That made you scared.

The restriction placed upon you to prevent you from straying from the plot scared you.

“Everything will be okay. But you need to tell me what’s going on.”

Taylor Stan hugged you, and you felt disgusted with yourself that you dare find warmth and comfort in that hug. Disgusted that you dared cry in front of him when you tried to kill him in the past.

But you couldn’t help it.

You couldn’t help that your hyung was soft and caring even though he was stern and strict. 

“I’m scared hyung. I’m a horrible person.”

As you speak you notice Cale in the corner of the room. He was trying to go out to give you two some privacy.

“Please stay.”

‘You deserve to hear the truth too.’

Cale stopped moving at your words. 

At that moment you decided to spill everything. Venion Stan’s role was already done. Even if it wasn’t, you already strayed from the path written for him. So you’re pulling all stops now.

“I’m a horrible person that did horrid crimes. I know that, I did them with my own hands after all. But I didn’t want to do them.”

You felt that stinging pain slowly coming back.

“There are times when I can’t control the things I say or do. No matter how hard I try my body won’t listen to me.”

The taste of blood in your mouth is back. You tried to act as calm as possible and nonchalantly spit it out in a napkin as if you were just wiping your mouth.

“I think it’s the god’s doing. It’s fated that I must be a bad guy for everything in the future to work out.”

You wiped your mouth again.

“I couldn’t resist it. But I found a loophole.”

Wipe

“If I make it look like what I was doing is villainous then my movements will not be restricted as much.”

“So when you removed the people watching over my residence..?”

You nodded while wiping your mouth once again.

However, this time Taylor snatched the napkin out of your hands.

“You’re bleeding..!”

“Ah…”

You were wiping so much blood that it already seeped out. Causing for Taylor and Cale to see the blood.

“I should’ve used a darker colour…”

“Stop talking. I’ve already heard everything I need to know.”

“I have nothing else to say to you anyway.”

The two men started walking out of the door when you called out to someone.

“Young master Cale, can you please stay? I must tell you something.”

The marquis and the young master exchanged a glance before one of them left the room.

“What is it?”

At Taylor’s exit, Raon undid his invisibility.

“It’s not fate.”

Cale and Raon looked at you as if you’d lost your head. Honestly, you wish you did. Being beheaded right now is better than living with these horrible feelings.

“It’s plot. You should know what I’m talking about.”

Luckily, Marquiss Stan left the napkin so you could wipe your mouth again.

“I think the universe, not the gods, made a mistake with me. But despite their mistake, they are insistent on going with the plot laid out.”

You discarded the napkin. It’s already drenched with too much of your blood that it can’t be used anymore.

“But don’t worry. This plot is very beneficial to you. You just have to follow whatever you think is right. You can disregard whatever anyone says. Even if that anyone is a god.”

‘Unlike me’

Cale handed you a handkerchief and you wiped your mouth with it.

“Lastly, I’m sorry Raon Miru-nim. My only choice was to either keep torturing you or throw you out. I couldn’t throw you out, because if I did then you wouldn’t meet the young master.”

“It’s okay… I am great and mighty so I figured out long ago that you were being forced.”

“Thank you.”

With that the dragon became invisible again and the two head out of the room.

Cleanup was easy. Of course, it was. Everything was already planned out beforehand.

The previous marquis was arrested and his people were successfully rooted out. You got sentenced to house arrest.

Meaning, you got a slap on the wrist.

It confused you. Why did you get such a light sentence when you did so many horrible things? It didn’t even feel like house arrest because your hyung always kept you by his side and personally took care of you.

“How about you? How are you and your brother doing?”

You heard Cale speaking on the other side of the communication device. But you just kept your head low and stared at your palms, unmoving.

“That…”

Marquis Stan hesitated.

“His been listless since that day. I checked with an expert and they said his in a catatonic state.”

You blur out the rest of their conversation. It wasn’t like there was a need to listen anyway. There’s nothing for you to do now. Your role is done but you can’t die.

You're tired.

So so fucking tired.

Tired of waking up. Tired of moving. Tired of thinking. Tired of breathing.

Tired of living.

So you opted to not move. Tune out the world around you. Maybe if you’re lucky they’ll leave you to rot in that lavish room of yours.

“Your eyes look more lively today. Do you have enough energy to speak?”

You blinked once. Then twice. You don’t know how many days have passed already. All of them look like a giant blur in your mind.

For the first time in a while, you moved your body to look at your surroundings.

As you take in your surroundings you notice that there’s a storm outside. That and Taylor Stan seem to have put you in the wheelchair he used to use.

“Taylor Stan…”

“Call me hyung.”

Did you deserve to? Well, it doesn’t matter since he ordered you to.

“Hyung”

“Yes, my dongsaeng?”

“Why won’t you kill me?”

The wheelchair stopped in its tracks. It was because the one pushing it stopped walking.

“Why would I kill you?”

“Why would you not kill me?”

You had no way of knowing just how scared Taylor was at this moment. Your voice sounded so soulless. As if you were asking about the weather and not about your death. He was already scared that one day he would just wake up to find you dead. Your questions and your way of asking them are not helping his fear.

“I told you, I wouldn’t kill my family.”

“Ah…”

Silence lingered as the two of you went to your room. Inside, the first thing you noticed was the door on the wall.

“That’s a connecting door. It’s connected to my room.”

“Very fitting for a criminal like me that needs to be monitored at all times.”

“That’s not…”

Taylor Stan chose to sigh instead of answering. After he did, he called the servants to help you with your nighttime routine.

“You all can go now, I’ll take it from here.”

Servants filed out of your room as your brother took the brush from a servant's hand.

“You know that this is useless right?”

“Why is that?”

Taylor continued brushing your blonde hair that now reaches past your shoulders.

“It’s not like I’ll sleep. There’s never a night where I slept for more than 30 minutes. I think.”

“Maybe if I stay by your side you’ll sleep better.”

You didn’t respond. You just watched in the mirror how your hyung gently brushed your hair. At some point, you pulled your legs up to your chest and started hugging them.

Taylor Stan didn’t seem to mind your movements. In fact, he seems to encourage them.

“Let’s eat dinner now. Do you want to walk?”

“No.”

The mere thought of moving more than you already did makes you feel nauseated.

Your hyung nodded and started pushing the wheelchair again. As he did the sight of the food prepared on your table caught your eyes. It wasn’t a feast like how you were served in the past.

Instead, there were just two simple identical meals on the table.

It reminded you of how you used to eat your meals back on earth.

“You’re eating too?”

“I haven’t eaten yet. I figure we can eat together since Cage is not here.”

She must be in the super rock’s villa or something.

Eat together was what you did. Well, more like Taylor ate while you take a few bites and play with your food.

“Do you not want to eat anymore?”

“No.”

“It’s fine, just leave it there. You already ate thrice more than you usually would. It’s okay to take it slow.”

That’s true. You ate 10 spoonfuls today when you would usually just take a bite or two. Three at most.

Maybe a gentle company and a simple meal did the trick. But you aren’t sure.

After the meal, you brushed your teeth before lying down on the bed. Taylor was sitting on a couch beside your bed as promised.

That night, for the first time since you arrived in this world, you managed to sleep almost the whole night.

[animeshotsh]

Not Soft | Dark!Viktor x Reader | Arcane AU

Summary: AU - Viktor does not go to the Academy and ends being teached by Singed. 

Warnings: Yandere!Viktor - Mad!Viktor - Dark!Viktor - Mentions of drug use - Mentions of animal abuse - Mutilation - Abuse - Grammar mistakes

Viktor had one line inside his head that forged his life.

"The mutation must survive"

No matter how, if its suffers, how much time, or if the methods used were not ethical. The mutation must survive.

Living under that, Viktor did achive things, he was able to get examples of mother cells from other creatures and use them on himself. Making his illness almost be cured. The shimmer something his mentor had created helped him make his experiments more stable, not only on them but on himself too.

He tried to keep the use to minum not only knowing how terrible it could be, how horrendus the mutation could be, but also how delicious and how good it felt. It was the best drug in Zaun.

But to him, there was a better drug, one that walked, breathed and survived in the hard life that the undercity offered.

You.

Viktor still remembers the day he met you, how you had come to the laboratory under Silco's unders to retrive something.

It was a common thing but you were a new face, your face was had some marks and your eyes had a centrain fire in them.

Something that flinched when Viktor got closer.

It was like you knew he was bad news.

Viktor never prayed himself as the obssesive type, at least not with other peopel. He was quiet and liked to work on his own things.

But you just intriged him.

Everytime you came to the lab he would try and learn more about you. Going as far as to mutilate and re make some Zaun insect that would follow you around giving Viktor signals of where you were.

He soon learned how you lived and moved around the dirty streets. He was also someone who could just know someone by looking at them. And did he look at you, he could tell you were no new to fights, coming with blood on your clothes or skin, you had a birthmark on your right shoulder, something he noticed one time during summer.

You were wary of others, as expected you did not trust anyone and most likely were ready to fight anyone if your live depended of it.

And thats why it was so sweet and good to see you break down.

Getting you as a experiment was complicated to say at least, but with enough will it was a success. His mentor never cared and neither did Silco or whoever knew you.

One day you were gone.

Viktor liked to see you try, see you resist to different trials he would make you go.

He loved giving you his blood. He felt the act as so intimated, he knew a part of him lived inside you and was there forever. Part of DNA was part of you now.

And since his blood was mixed up with shimmer and other animal's cells your body had a interesting reaction.

He almost lost you the first night. The shimmer was too strong and was not letting your body adapt to the new cells. Your body was fighting his blood like it was a virus. Viktor had to make you new, literally. He sedated you and worked on you all night till you were stable and safe.

Viktor expected you to now have some type of ability because of it. And he was right, you showed quick regeneration to any injured he inflicted.

He never liked seeing you in pain but he knew the more pain, the more your body would adapt and survive. So he went on.

He was not sure when your mind did cross a breaking point. Really he had re read his notes but nothing helped.

You did not talk to anyone but him, you were obidient, never causing problems. Your eyes had lost that fire, being replace with a reddish color. These eyes filled Viktor's dreams because they indicated you were his.

You never caused problems while he worked being left to read or feed the other experiments.

Viktor would call you over to have you see the failed experiments, telling you how you could have ended if it wasnt for him, he was your saviour, your god, your only protector.

Even if he was also the mosnter and devil who made you lose your mind and soul, you were now too far gone to even remember it.

"I love you (Y/N)" Viktor said caressing your hair as he injected another new vial on your arm.

He saw you convulse but soon adapt to it, making his theory be right. You were now basically inmune to any type of poison or drug.

"I love you too"

He just needed to test your limits on regenerating your limbs....

[save-the-villainous-cat]

I just got the best idea! Vampire villain with a strong moral code who refuses to feed on blood, making themselves weak with hunger. Hero notices and purposefully cuts their finger on villain's fang to get them to eat🤍

The villain had never thought they could be overpowered by a human. It was terrifying to say the least.

Once the blood was in their mouth and the hero's hand off their throat, the villain started to suck on the hero's finger involuntarily. The instinct was ancient, something older than the vampire themselves. They had forgotten how good fresh blood tasted.

However, they could collect themselves pretty quickly.

"You're stupid," the vampire whispered. "You had a perfect physical advantage. You could have killed me..."

"Take more," the hero said, pushing their finger into the villain's mouth quick enough to make them gag. This time, the villain grabbed their enemy's wrist and nearly pushed them off their hips.

"I'm good," they said through gritted teeth. The vampire didn't really enjoy it when the hero was so adamant about absolutely everything they did. The hero always found a way to get what they wanted. They were a pain in their ass. Annoying and heroic.

"You're still pale," the hero said. "Interesting..."

They pushed the villain's chin up and managed to slip one finger under the villain's upper lip, lifting it to examine the villain's fangs as if they were a doctor.

"I am a vampire," the villain reminded them. "Sunlight doesn't turn me to ashes but the sunburns are out of this world."

"And you are sure you are fine?" the hero asked. They turned the villain's head to the right and then to the left, continuing their examination. Christ, they even put their hand on the villain's chest to search for a heartbeat.

"I'm great, just - get off, will you?" The hero stood up but the villain still needed a moment. They feared they would pass out again if they stood up.

They looked around the room but there was nothing. No furniture. Just a door that looked like it couldn’t be opened from the inside.

What a joke.

"You know," the hero said, hands on their hips, "this is actually quite interesting. I certainly didn't expect my dear nemesis to end up in the same cell as me. I guess they wanted you to eat me. A little grotesque if you ask me."

"But not too far-fetched," the villain said. They pushed themselves up but ended up leaning against the wall. "Hunger turns everyone into an animal."

"You still don't look too good," the hero said. Once again, they kneeled beside the villain. Their hand raked through the villain's hair and stopped on their forehead.

The villain didn't know why the hero was always so touchy. They never crossed any boundaries and the villain actually welcomed those soft hands on them, but still...it was strange. Strange to feel someone's warm skin on theirs like this.

"How much blood do you usually drink?"

"God, I don't know...I'm trying to quit." The hero stared at them. The silence was uncomfortable and the villain didn't know if they had said something wrong.

Then the hero huffed.

"And you say I'm the stupid one." They rolled their eyes. "So, severe undernourishment, I guess. That's why you're so weak."

"Ey, I am alright-"

"Which makes this even more baffling. What is an undernourished vampire doing in a supervillain facility?"

"What is an annoying hero doing here?"

"Saving a dumb vampire, apparently."

"Ugh. I was experimented on," the villain said. The hero had probably saved their life. That was something the villain certainly did not want to think about. Gosh, the hero was so annoying with their caring nature and their stupid curiousness. When they looked at the hero, though, they looked horrified. "No, all of it was voluntary. I got some money for it in return. Nothing bad, really."

"I got caught when I tried to steal some documents. They weren't that nice to me." The hero lifted their shirt and the villain saw two giant fresh bruises. The hero's ribs were definitely damaged.

"Shit..." the villain mumbled. "Scoot over. Are you okay?"

They let their fingers ghost over the hero's skin. Unsurprisingly, the hero flinched and threw their head back, cursing quietly.

"Looks broken. We need to get you out of here," the villain said.

"Wait, the experiments...they knew you were trying to quit with the blood?" the hero asked. They let their shirt fall down again but the villain couldn't help but think about the bruises.

Their own injuries healed pretty quickly. But they had totally forgotten that this would take days, maybe even weeks for the hero to get better. Humans were so fragile. They feared the hero could fall apart any second.

"...yeah, they encouraged it even."

"Great," the hero said. "This is the next phase of their experiments, then."

The villain stared at them. They thought they were on rather good terms with the company.

"Wait, you don't mean..."

"Yup. They really want to see if you'll eat me," the hero said. "Which also means we are definitely under surveillance."

[gamerzylo]

can you explain the story of postal to me?

It varies on the game.

Postal 1 - The story is told through journal entries; Dude is getting evicted from his house and thinks there's a hate plague infecting the town (aptly called Paradise) he moved to. Chaos and destruction ensue.

Postal 2 - Different Dude; moved to a different version of Paradise with his wife known as The Bitch. Spends a week doing errands that range from picking up milk to getting Gary Coleman's autograph on his book to escaping a burning napalm factory. At the end of Friday a hate plague really does infect the town and the newspaper declares it's the apocalypse.

Postal 2: Apocalypse Weekend - Same dude from 2; wakes up Saturday in the hospital after an "unfortunate firearms accident" involving his head. His wife left him, Champ was taken by the pound, and his trailer was repo'd so his quest is to rescue Champ and get his trailer back. Along the way he has hallucinations involving Hell and Gary Coleman demons, and has to deal with things ranging from mad cow tourettes zombies to stealing a nuke from the local military base to the apocalypse...again. At the end he fights Mike J - an employee of RWS who turned into a kosher mad cow demon god and who summons flying Gary Coleman heads to act as a barrier. After that he and his dog drive away as the nuke he stole and set goes off.

Got a case of split time line next.

Postal 3 - Technically the same Dude from 2 but looks way different and has a different voice actor; ends up driving to Paradise's sister town of Catharsis where his car runs out of gas. Shenanigans involving Ron Jeremy, a rhino on meth...twice, and Randy Jones to name a few happen throughout. There's two paths - good path and insane path and three endings. The evil ending has Dude and his dog getting the chair and St. Peter sending them to hell. The neutral ending has Dude get married to Jen Walcott, win the lottery, and write a best selling book. The good ending has Dude become the US president after defeating Hugo Chávez and his invading army during the apocalypse in Catharsis; he sees a big red button and presses it, launching nukes.

Postal 2: Paradise Lost - Same Dude from 2; in this time line his car crashed right after escaping Paradise because his dog jumped out to chase after a wild animal. This left him in an 11-year coma and Postal 3 being retconned as a nightmare. When he finally comes to, he goes to find his dog. Paradise has been rebuilt and has four extreme weather zones due to nuclear fallout. A week of shenanigans ensue again ranging from find out his dog was mutated and sealed away in Hell to aiding a cult led by Gary Coleman against "the tall ones" to arguing with the Dude from Postal 3 (referred to in the game subtitles as "Alternate Dude") over who the dog belongs to while standing in Hell. Also the apocalypse happens again...again. Plus Zack Ward (Dude's actor from the movie) is in the game and ends up believing himself to be the real Dude.

Postal 4: No Regerts - Same Dude from 2 only in like his early 50s now; ends up with his trailer stolen so he walks to the city of Edensin in hopes of finding a job. Same deal - week of increasingly chaotic shenanigans, this time involving things like the Dude dressing in drag to flinging people over a wall into Mexico to waking up in a mountain cabin area with his dog missing and serious Postal 1 vibes going on. Also the apocalypse counter is now at 5.

Postal Redux - A remake of Postal 1, set in 2017 rather than 1997, while also hinting at it taking place after the first game instead of being a straight remake (mainly being that there is a skeleton in the cell Dude ends up in at the end - a skeleton that isn't there in the original game's ending). Technically has a second story through Co-Op mode where four other versions of Dude rampage and end up breaking Dude out of his cell. Then there's the mindfuck Rampage ending where Dude is standing triumphantly on a pyramid littered with several dead Dudes.

Postal Brain Damaged - Unspecified version of Dude falls asleep and has a dream in the form of a boomer shooter. A demon version of himself called Other Dude steals his tv and part of the game is spent chasing him down. There's also a giant mech controlled by Other Dude that serves as the final boss. Dude wakes up after pissing himself.

Postal Mobile - Old Java game; the Dude in this game is probably the most "normal" of the bunch. His car gets stolen and his house burned down in a GTA-esque world.

[ink-bunny2]

Aaron’s such an underrated character on Aphblr tbh. He’s become one of my favorite characters in the cast as I rewatch more and more of Mystreet. Aaron will tease you, but he’s also one of the best characters in the cast to go to for emotional support. He’ll tell you as it is, smack you upside the head when you’re being crazy and shake you back to rational normalcy, but then he’ll sigh and tell you you’re gonna be just fine and everything’s gonna be okay. He is the number one (and on occasion only) holder of brain cells in the whole neighborhood. He’s the most sensible, and often the word of wisdom/rationale, much more so than Katelyn or Lucinda or Zane or Laurance are. This can often make him come off as a serious character, but he’s still down to clown! He just does it in a different way!

He’s supposed to contrast Aphmau’s louder, more extroverted, playful, ditzy, eccentric personality, by being quieter, more rational, more responsible, more cautious and careful, more reserved, a word of wisdom to contrast her crazier, chaotic energy and pranking and punning and ponies and general whimsical tomfoolery. But that does not, by any means, mean that he is not participating in the antics. Just because he’s the only one who thought to bring a first aid kit and a safety harness doesn’t mean he’s not jumping off that cliff with everyone else in this crazy cast. You tell him to dig, he’ll bring shovels. He may sigh or say “oh god not again” when shit goes awry or the gang decides they are Dead Set on doing something insane for the 10,000th time, but by god he will commit. Aphmau kidnaps a baby and goes on a mad chase for a comedic bit, and he never complains about how “stupid” and “reckless” and “obnoxious” his girlfriend is, he just says in a completely calm tone, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go save my girlfriend.” And he chases after her immediately lmao.

Aaron enables the antics and participates in them, and if you rile him up or challenge him damn well enough, he will throw himself into the group antics with an unbeatable, fiery fervor. If the boys decide they’re all gonna pretend to be Santa and his elves in order to cause prankster-variety chaos one day, Aaron would join in and go right alongside them. He’s here to make sure it all goes to plan. He’s here to make sure you don’t break any bones when you jump off that roof like a madman. He’s here to help you run away from the cops, help you break into the building. He may chide you for doing it in the first place (“do you even know what you’re doing?!”), and if needed he may drag you back home if you’re barking up the wrong tree and it’s nothing but detrimental to you, but if it’s viable for the bit, he absolutely will show you how to break a window correctly.

And he can be a little shit if he wants to, too!! He can snicker at you and tease you and make quips, and I bet if Aaron himself dedicated his energy to it, he would make the best of pranks. He’s not an asshole that’s full of himself and too serious and stoic and cool for being silly, he’s not a whiny bitch, he’s actually very incredibly supportive. At times, much more so than Garroth, Laurance, Zane, Katelyn, etc. He’s reliable, he trusts Aphmau a lot, he knows how shittily Aphmau cooks and still does his damndest to support her, and he will force himself to eat her biohazardous cooking just to make her happy. He is the chef of the household. He’s good with animals, animals love him. He’s a kind guy!!! He’s just got his own unique energy and vibe to him, that no one else in the cast really has, and I really appreciate that core trait of him. He’s a grounding character. He’s probably got his own ways that he’s weird and eccentric that are a lot more hidden than Aphmau’s. If we didn’t have Aaron, the entire neighborhood would have burned down ages ago, ten times over.

I genuinely do believe he’d make a fantastic dad, being a combination of a soft and gentle and tenderly loving man, and responsible enough to always bring safety helmets and bandaids and snacks, very supportive of his kids development, emotionally available as a great source of genuine advice and wisdom while still getting plenty of encouragement. He would probably want to make an effort to be a very different parent than his father was, and since he was emotionally neglected as a child, he would refuse to do anything similar to his own kids. He’d be a good influence (and Aphmau would be the bad influence LOL)

He’s kind of a teddy bear of a man <3 If he weren’t so heavily wolf-themed, I’d say a bear would be the best animal that’d fit his personality and energy. He’d protect you like a bear, he can be really fucking terrifying if he wants to, but he’d only use that power to make sure Aphmau gets what she wants and needs to make her happy. He’d never use that terrifying intimidation factor of his on his friends and loved ones, never as anything more than a single look that has a derailing Garroth/Laurance/Travis/Dante/Gene/etc. get right the fuck back on track and start backpedaling, like if they started saying or doing something careless or stupid that made Aphmau feel worse. He’s quiet and reserved with that tired, grounded, solid energy of a bear. He’s a big guy. But he can also be really soft and supportive and sweet. He takes more time to come out of his shell and let down his walls, but when he does, he really dedicates his life to the few people he manages to trust. And it’s that thick outer shell that makes Aphmau a good match for him, because she’s kinda the only character in the cast who’s able to bring him out of his shell so easily.

She’s kind and extremely friendly, unstoppably and unendingly so. She’s sweet and naive and selfless in the way that proves to Aaron that she’s not trying to get anything out of him, she’s not lying to him, and she would never neglect him or just…abandon him like a discarded toy once she’s through with him. She’s not scared of him. She sees the best in everybody, and sees that there’s something more underneath that scary, prickly outer shell of defenses that’s managed to push everyone else away and keep the likes of Laurance and Garroth and Katelyn on their toes. She sees what no one else does, she sees the true beauty and the kind heart he has underneath. Even in MCD, when he’s literally held a sword to her throat and threatened her life multiple times, she can still sense that he’s full of shit and there’s a kind heart underneath, and if she does a little cultivating, extends a hand of gentle kindness and genuine affection, a kind of love and affection he’s never really seen before and been starved of all his life… it works wonders, and he steps out to meet her. He changes, drastically, because she sees the best in him, and that makes him want to become the best version of himself that he can be, for her. Where he might hate himself and grapple with feeling unloveable, Aphmau is there to remind him none of its true. And so he tries to keep her nightmares away in return, sticking by her side, taking care of her, cooking for her, encouraging her to keep doing everything she does best, defends her against the bullies that make her feel like she’s not good enough, and takes her by the shoulders to remind her that she is good enough, and all the voices out there and in her head that tell her she’s not are full of shit. Because he knows first-hand, better than most, the good things she brings to those around her and the wonderful presence she is in others lives, and how wonderful she is as a person. He trusts her. He’s here to guide her along in her path to becoming her fullest self, to give her that last big nudge to boost her along the way. Likely on a cosmic level, mainly, with her becoming Irene.

He’s very sweet, he’s sweet to Aphmau, Aphmau’s even sweeter to him, and genuinely I’ve learned to love the big, fluffy guy and I really appreciate him and his impact on the other characters the more and more I see of him. I don’t really know how I would enjoy Mystreet or MCD or the Aphverse without him. If he were real, I would love to give him one big hug, I bet his hugs would be amazing (topped only by Garroth’s rib-crushing bear hugs)

[d-criss-news]

“Following Your Heart Is a Zero-Loss Game”: Darren Criss Is Forging His Own Legacy

Darren Criss is no stranger to the spotlight. But, does his latest role in Broadway’s Maybe Happy Ending solidify his place within the ranks of Filipino theater legends? 

Oliver, the main character in the Broadway musical Maybe Happy Ending, would be confused by the actor who plays him. See, Oliver is a robot dubbed “helper bot” with a classic Type A personality: rigid in his ways and painfully calculated. He exists in Seoul in the distant future, where these bots are essentially humanoid versions of our current cell phones. Oliver has only one mission in life, which is to reunite with his human who left him in an apartment complex where other thrown-out bots reside. (Think of how your old blackberries are stashed away in some random cabinet drawer.) His only friend is a plant named HwaBoon who, audiences come to learn, is the most important character in the show. The actor who brings this robot to life is Darren Criss who is anything but one-track-minded. The Filipino-American’s personal curiosity and dynamic career tell this best. Was it Glee where you first got to know his dark locks and melodic voice? Or, did you first see him hit the stage on Broadway in How to Succeed in Business Without Trying (2012)? Perhaps it was his role in Ryan Murphy’s Gianni Versace: American Crime Story (2018). His portrayal as Andrew Cunanan, the killer of the late fashion designer, earned him an Emmy, Golden Globe, and SAG award and placed him as one the few actors to earn the trifecta. Unlike Criss, Oliver has only had one job during his entire battery life. 

Yet, Criss breathes life into his mechanical character on stage as if he knows what it’s like to operate like a robot. But, perhaps he does. Perhaps, we, including those who have continuously waved a finger to AI and ChatGPT; all do.  “Think of Aesop fables or Greek Mythology,” he tells Vogue. “These tales all displaced the human experience by using non-human things. We learn lessons about our own behaviors through animals, spirits, gods, or other totems because it doesn’t feel patronizing if we use human characters. I think using robots was an excellent metaphor for human life itself and the way we perceive the world; operating systems, battery life, logical programming versus illogical emotional responses. A lot of these human things lend themselves really well to computers and robots.”  The last time Criss performed at the Belasco Theater where Maybe Happy Ending is showing until January 2026 was 10 years ago. At the time, he starred as Hedwig in John Cameron Mitchell’s Hedwig and The Angry Inch. “I love the poetry of my return to the Belasco theater a decade later,” he says. The aforementioned show is considered a classic in modern musical theater. It first debuted Off-Broadway in 1998, and later revived in 2014 starring Neil Patrick Harris. Then, he was continuing a legacy, but with Maybe Happy Ending, an original production directed by Tony Award Winner Michael Arden, written by Will Aronson and Hue Park, and produced by Jeffrey Richards, he’s forging his own.  “As a creative person, you dream to be a part of something original and singular to itself. You can’t put lightning in the bottle, but you work hard until one day the serendipities fall into your lap. That’s what happened here; a new dream was achieved.” 

There’s also another difference in his return to this theater. Unlike his previous solo-performance, he gets to share the stage in Maybe Happy Ending with his 24-year-old co-star Helen J. Shen graduated from the University of Michigan; the same school Criss graduated from in 2009. “I’m literally the upperclassman on stage,” Darren jokes. Shen plays a fellow thrown-out helper bot named Claire, who ends up bringing the spontaneity out of Oliver.  But, with newness comes risk. Those in the artistic universe know that participating in original productions bears a certain weight on one’s shoulders; tenfold when you’re riding high from a previously successful project. Will it be successful? Will it resonate with the audience? How will it affect one’s reputation?  Maybe Happy Ending may be a completely new production on Broadway, but it ultimately asks an age-old question: Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? “There are prerequisites to every good story,” Criss says. “Themes of love, loss, life. Think of any Shakespearean play you’ve seen. These are universal macro-themes that are packed very neatly and effectively in the show.”  Speaking of universal themes, Oliver’s plant HwaBoon is perhaps the true star of the show. In fact, the last moments of the play zero-in on the plant before the curtains fall. “He’s a glorious symbol of love that can outlive time itself,” Criss says. When asked if he has a real-life HwaBoon of his own, he directs his answer to music. “As a musician, I have instruments whose sentimental value completely eclipses their actual effectiveness. My guitars, for example, have been there for many beautiful moments in my life.” For Criss, success as an artist isn’t measured by how many tickets sell. “Following your heart is a zero-loss game. I had a strong feeling about the piece even before we opened the show. Whether or not people actually caught on was up in the air, but I would’ve still been very happy either way. On an artistic level, I was so moved that even if it didn’t reach the height that it is at now, I would’ve talked about it very proudly 20 or even 30 years down the line.”  The show has been running since November 2024 with ticket sales currently grossing $20,889,683. But, the Tony nominations speak for themselves. A day after Criss offered this humble note of measuring success to Vogue, news broke that Maybe Happy Ending was nominated for 10 awards for the 78th annual Tonys. The categories include: Best Musical, Best Original Score, and Best Scenic Design. Darren Criss is nominated for Best Actor.  When Filipinos think of stars on Broadway who share their ethnic backgrounds, Lea Salonga quickly comes to mind. She is, after all, the first Asian woman to win a Tony award. There’s also Eva Noblezada who held roles in Miss Saigon and Hadestown; and Rachel Ann Go who had roles in Les Miserables and Hamilton. Darren Criss, whose mother hails from Cebu and has an affinity for Palawan, puts in a case for his right to join their ranks as legendary performers.  “I certainly don’t think of myself in that way,” he tells Vogue. “But, I think it’s my responsibility to rise to that occasion if that’s what people see me as. I especially look up to Lea Salonga in a revered way. I look at her as a beacon, but I wonder if she even sees herself in that way. See, it’s this sort of call to duty. Beacons give cause to our belief, and they make us feel like it’s worthwhile to believe in something. I am honored and privileged to be given that role if it’s given to me.”  

[sleepyhouse2art]

here are some crayon drawings from the hospital. they are bad but its hard for me to draw with a tiny blunt crayon. i barely got to draw and i really missed it so i thought id share these and talk about my time away

was restrained for four days and shot up with haldol. was let up only to call my husband which i think is illegal because it was too many hours. the er wouldnt give me my meds so i think i went through withdrawal cause my anti only has an 18 hour half life you know? i didnt eat for six days altogether. there was a nice cook who sometimes made me special vegan things but being there was hard so my nerves were shot and i couldnt really eat much. after four days i was finally transferred to the psychiatric hospital.

this is my therapist. shes been my therapist for five years and we like each other but when she told me to go to the hospital she promised id go to a nicer one and the crisis van took me to the wrong one. she wouldnt call or talk to me or answer my husbands texts. i was very mad at her. i dont think ill bring it up to her on wed. i just want to vent i think. i know she takes good care of me.

a drawing of myself

a little guy, a tiny prayer. i missed smoking! i blasted so many cigs when i got home lol. i didnt use the nic patch cause those make me super sick so i muscled it pretty good

my handwriting translated because its kind of hard to read sorry:

a window which you cant see thru

i miss hearing music

infected

if you freak out they put you in a little room with a picture of a palm tree on the ceiling. they also give you drugs

this is jocelyn. they left her unshowered for a month and left her sitting in her period blood for three days. it stunk up the whole unit and people laughed at her and a very aggressive fat girl said it smelled like shark coochie. she was very very sick. she was too scared of the orderlies because they were so mean but my friend melissa coaxed her into letting her change her pants and pad. i pray god will protect her and watch over her.

little experiential details:

the windows were pasted over with this blurry stuff so you couldnt see a thing. no music. the tv was always on mute for some reason. the er and the hospital didnt treat my cuts so they got really infected, all yellow and hot, and i got a fever for three days which i worried would keep me in there for longer. when i arrived i had to strip naked in front of a man and a woman, which has happened to me before. they notated all my scars and tattoos. the man was very gentle though. he wore a kippah and was always nice to me. we are mispocheh.

the hospital was hard. i was often denied water and the bathroom for a long time for some reason. i drank out of my sink from my hands like an animal. the orderlies were universally mean and snapped at us to get our attention like we were dogs. the nurses and doctors and admin knew our names but there were forty of us on the unit so the orderlies would just scan our wristbands when they needed to know who we were and referred to us by our room number. the orderlies liked to talk shit about us to each other within earshot. this big fat lady with giant spider fake eyelashes who was always glammed out said about me (and i was better so i know i was not hearing things) "that creepy bitch. she got them big ass dark circles and them big eyes and she tiny like a bug. always peeking her head out the door." lol. one of the friends i made had a very serious physical illness, i think it was called mcas she said, a mast cell disorder, and they wouldnt give her her medication and she got very sick and they all said it was somatic and talked about her behind her back.

i made friends with:

my very best friend melissa who would talk with me for hours. she had mast cell like i said and was denied treatment cause they said it was all in her head. she had a horrible scarring breakup after a divorce and asked a cop to shoot her. she was a singer songwriter. she told me its not my fault my brain is different and that i was so compassionate to our friends and i should show that compassion to myself. she told me i was a good person and i cried a little, but i had to nut up because if they see you cry you stay there longer because it means youre sick.

a guatemalan/italian car detailer who loves cars and her cats. she was followed at 80 mph by a cop and arrested and put on a hold and sent to the hospital, where they told her she was paranoid and put her on antis. she was very short and very sweet and she would try fruitlessly to sort all the crazy mismatched shitty crayons.

an autistic trans woman with a beautiful name who was my bestie. we made each other laugh so much. we were blue band team because we had dietary restrictions so always went to the front of the cafeteria line. she was so funny. she would hold herself when she laughed like it hurt. she told me crazy stories about her vampire sugar daddy who had a mansion in italy and two girl bulldogs who kissed her. they drank pints of each others blood and also cow blood she said. i tried to defend her because she kind of couldnt and people were mean and called her a man because she has a beard and laughed at her. im normally a very passive person but i couldnt let that happen. she was trying to go to a nice group home and was excited but her guardian totally blacked out on her and wouldnt answer her calls or let her go. i worry for her. she was lactose intolerant and ate cheese all the time anyway and it gave her bubble guts. she tried to be vegan with me one day because she said i was her role model which was so sweet. she liked to pour mixed coca cola and ginger ale in her salad with ice and eat it that way.

a very autistic man who was timid and scared and very gentle. a very aggressive man was screaming in the dayroom and throwing things and crushing cups of water and he got terrified so me and my friend held his hands even tho we werent supposed to touch. he likes to build model trains. he had an apartment and a job but his sister was trying to put him in a group home.

a man with a big scar on his head who they were trying to send to the state hospital even tho he wasnt sick. they said he had schiz like i have but i dont think he did. he gave me one of his shirts because i was always cold and let me keep it. i brought it home. it is a new york shirt. he says new york sucks now. i told him i was being discharged and he said i was the wards little princess.

a former banker and 30 year dope addict who had cool tattoos to cover his tracks. he was from the west coast like i am and had been all over this country. he gave me his sweatshirt because i was freezing all the time. he was gentle and kind and the meds made him sleep sitting up. he was the only person ive ever met who knew who sugar pie desanto was. she is one of my favorite singers. i will post my fav song of hers tonight or tomorrow.

a pretty twenty year old girl with bpd. she was a new mom to a six week old baby with a beautiful name and she was already pregnant again. her baby daddy was a useless cruel moid trash man who lived with her but didnt pay for anything or take care of the beautifully named baby. she had an ed since she was 12 like me. we both were trying to stop purging and didnt do it at all while we were there. i wish her so well.

an artist who had schiz like me. he was lightskinned and very tall and shy and sweet. i think he had a crush on me lol because he seemed very disappointed when i said i was married. we talked about god and time travel and belief. he was lds and im a jew so we talked to each other.

my roommate who had schiz too. they put her on a first gen because she screamed for three days and then she slept constantly. we would wake up at five and talk for an hour and have so much fun and she would go back to sleep. she let me shower in the morning and she showered at night. she said i was very funny. i made her laugh which made me feel good because she was so sad normally. shed been to the hospital a lot like me too.

a big girl with bpd who was very nice and i was nice to her but we had a weird relationship. the first thing i ever heard her say was at the med window and she said she didnt eat voluntarily. it was weird because shed focus intently on me from her table in the cafeteria and watch me do my food rituals and eat what i could or would. she looked at my body a lot. we liked to talk about our cats together but it was just really weird.

other people i met:

this bipolar guy who was really manic. he said he was a songwriter and he would scream sing and do that trill thing. he was really aggressive and scared people and menaced the women and afab people. he said he wrote songs but they all looked like this:

he made me sign it for support lol

this very mean fat girl who i said good morning to and she said how are you and i said good, you doing okay? and she flipped out on me and was like what the fuck you mean am i okay and said watch yourself you stupid bitch i dont play that. so i was always kind of scared shed hit me. she was really rotten to my trans girl friend i talked about. it was rotten. i didnt like her at all.

this man who always touched me and bumped up against me in the cafeteria line and touched my hurt arms through my sleeves. he always tried to hold my friends hand. he was always asking me to play dominos and uno which i dont know how to play and i didnt want to play with him. i wasnt delusional anymore so i am very sure the constant serial killer staring he did at me was real. i was scared of him but didnt tell staff because i worried they would think it was my paranoia and i wasnt getting better.

all the orderlies were mean to me and treated us like legit animals and i hated them. all i did was keep my head down and apologize to them constantly for walking by then and asking for water and the bathroom and asking questions. i came home and asked my husband for water and a cig like i was still there which made him sad. i very much appreciate my big old nice house but everything feels like a beautiful luxury with which i must be careful. i know i wasnt hospitalized for long this time but this always happens to me when i am, idk why. guess it comes with the territory. a lot of julian from my kirche street pharmacy comics and art comes from me but in a much more extreme and tragic fashion. i relate to him a lot tbh. maybe other people with mental illness can relate to him too.

i still have big yellow bruises from er staff and orderlies grabbing me by the arms really hard. my cuts are all healed but i think theyll scar badly which sucks cause its summer. isnt the solstice on the 20th or something right? ive been thinking of taking pictures of my arms so maybe people can relate and feel less bad about theirs. i only started at 27 when i really started getting very sick and they are a mess and im really embarrassed but i feel comfortable showing you guys cause you know me. also i have sick dumb stick and pokes lol

ok this is really long i am so sorry its probably really boring and whiny and uninteresting but i guess this is my blog so you signed up for this ha ha 💀

thank you for all the love and care and support you have shown me. i scripted ten pages of hard core drugs in the hospital so now i just have drawing to do and i will resume my work tonight cause i really missed it. just have to uh decipher my fucking crayon bullshit lol. so look out!!

ok i love you see you later. btw if anyone is ever struggling my messages and asks are always open and dont feel weird about talking to me. honestly im a pretty open book and i love talking to people and relating and making new friends. i know this is corny but i just want people to know im someone whos always around ♥️✌️unless I'm in the fucking hospital LOL

[circusmania]

Can i request some fluff with platonic yandere SCP 2662 who see reader who is also immortal but doesn't really know about it that is uneffected by SCP 2662 anomalous effect as a friends?

Both of them playing animal crossing

(Platonic) Yandere!SCP-2662 x GN!Reader ──────────────────────── Notes: Tysm for requesting this. I had so much reading about SCP-2662 and writing this request! I hope you enjoy ♡. Muah Muah ✮

───────────────────────

SCP-2662, a Keter class anomaly, is a humanoid who's actually (surprisingly) pretty chill. Also known as Cthulhu f'UCK OFF! (we'll just call him Cthulhu here), has a pretty humanoid(ish) appearance, along with fully functional cephalopod limbs attached to his back. He possesses the ability to manipulate and put false information into humans' dreams. Although his "followers" view him as all high and mighty, Cthulhu has no intentions of being their god. Rather, he prefers to sit in his containment cell and go about his day. Be it reading his daily newspaper or playing his many video games.

Tossing the introduction aside, You, an immortal being, had landed in the hands of the SCP Foundation. Be it intentional or not, you're stuck in your cell whether you like it or not. It ain't all that bad though, you're pretty cooperative and kind to those assigned to you, earning you a lot of rewards.

Once the Foundation found out that you're unaffected by various anomalous effects, new doors opened for you. One of those doors was he, himself, Cthulhu. A kind but massive beast, you two hit it off well.

At first, Cthulhu had thought you were another of his "devoted" followers.

You found him sitting at his table, a newspaper in hand and a coffee in the other.

"Oh, Saint Alagadda... what show are you going to put on now!? Hello?! Task Force!! Another one got in!!"

You stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Excuse me?"

You cringed, and he stopped yelling once he realized you weren't stripping or yelling insanities.

"You're not going to smear your blood and/or fluids on my walls…?" He asked, warily.

"WHAT!?? No?? What made you think that??"

He narrowed his beady eyes.

"Well, can't rule you out yet... You might just be faking it..."

"Right..."

"Trust issues much…" (He glared at you).

"In the meantime, you can stay...mm... over there." He pointed to the furthest corner from him possible.

You obeyed and sat in the corner, not making your case any better, since obeying him made it look like you were following his commands as your “god”.

Whenever you were pushed into these experiments, the researchers never gave you any information on the anomaly. Normally you don't care, but you would've appreciated some info on this one. By far, this one has made it to the top of your list of "Top Ten Weirdest first impressions."

You remained in the corner for hours a day to maximize as much exposure as possible (occasionally you got breaks and check-ups from the personnel). At the 2-month mark, Cthulhu had become pretty fond of you. He was very relieved that you showed no signs of wanting to perform rituals for him.

He allowed you to join him at his table and provided you with your very own cup of coffee! (If coffee isn't up to your taste, he's more than happy to supply you with anything else. Well, anything that the Foundation will allow).

Your relationship with Cthulhu got stronger as he invited you to join him in his many video games. Be it horror, indie, action, survival, or RPG, he's happy to be able to play with someone who views him only as a friend.

"You know, I'm happy you're different. It's nice that I can finally interact with someone without them flashing their cloaca at me."

"... Do I even want to know?"

As time passed, you two got to know more and more about each other. It took Cthulhu some time to open up after the "Massy's Big Chance" incident. You found out that Cthulhu had run away from home when his dad wouldn't stop projecting his sex cult on him. Yikes. You comforted him the best you could.

However, when he really started to like you (platonically) was the time when his worshippers broke into his cell again, and he found out that you weren't just a regular human.

This time, he was in the shower, and you were the unfortunate one to fall victim.

Cue in 3 naked, sex-crazed humans.

"What the actual fuck... How did you three get in here??" You had a newspaper in your hands and were sitting at his place at the table.

They spared you no less than a glance and made their way toward the bathroom.

"Uh, the hell? You can't go in th-"

You made the mistake of grabbing onto one of the humans' arms, and they quickly pulled out a knife and stabbed your arm.

You shrieked, alerting Cthulhu. Although being immortal, you could still feel pain, and god did this hurt like a bitch.

Cthulhu came rushing out, grabbing his follower's attention.

"Oh, great one! We've come to liberate you!"

He paid no mind to them, his focus was on you and your bleeding arm. Which didn't look well in his follower's eyes.

"Oh, sweet Alagadda! Are you oka-" He started to make his way towards you when one of his followers jumped in front of him.

"But first, we'll start with a sacrifice!"

"This one will do!"

One of the humans grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled your head back. He raised his knife, and before he could reach your neck, he got sucker punched into a wall by Cthulhu. Really unexpected considering Cthulhu's nature.

He scooped you up in his arms, not letting anyone touch you till the Task Force arrived with medics.

"Don't worry... I just so happen to be immortal…" Your voice strained and weak as you tried not to pass out from the blood loss.

"WHAT??"

You ended up fainting anyways.

Fast-forward...

"Never thought you could actually hit someone."

You sat on the floor, leaning against Cthulhu's shoulder. Your arm was tightly bandaged, despite your protests.

He sighed. "Neither did I... Must've been the adrenaline."

Cthulhu was still annoyed that you hadn't told him earlier about your immortality.

"To be fair, you never asked."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm just glad you're safe."

He smiled in his own unique way and you returned the gesture. You two spent the afternoon playing Animal Crossing together and blabbering about anything that crossed your minds.

That day, Cthulhu promised himself to protect you at all costs. Perhaps, one day, when he's "older" you two will live together in a house. Playing all the video games possible and away from anyone that could tear you two apart. ──────────────────────── Cites: “SCP-2662 - SCP Foundation.” The SCP Foundation, 15 March 2023, https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2662. (Official info on SCP-2662)

“SCP-2662 | Heroes Wiki | Fandom.” Heroes Wiki, https://hero.fandom.com/wiki/SCP-2662. (Additional info on SCP-2662)

Bierman, Ed. “Skeeve Online - SCP Foundation.” The SCP Foundation, 15 December 2022, https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/skeeve-online. (Massy's Big Chance incident)

────────────────────────

[roturo]

BITE ME

summary: being a vampire hunter wasn't easy, and it became rougher when you encountered a cute tall white-haired vampire that would change up your opinions about them

warnings: smut, blood, vampire!gojo x vampire hunter!reader, sub!gojo, dacryphilia, gojo cries during sex lmao, kinda rushed, piv, unprotected sex, overstimulation, kinda fucked dumb tbh, blood lust, like it was love at first sight yass, no one is in their right mind, just horny tbh, loved this idea, maybe oc gojo idk, bc he's such a cutie pie here, aghdhsagbdy this is cute that im even surprised, never wrote for sub!gojo but idk, enjoy.

TUMBLR IS BASED ON A REBLOG SYSTEM. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK.

Since little you were taught many things, but the most important one is to always hate vampires.

Living in a community divided by unnatural human beings and well, humans, made society enter into a conflict if both kinds of communities should mix. 

Your family was a well known vampire hunter, you lived in a forest far away from the city where most of the vampires usually exist between humans. Being a medical student made you learn a lot about the species that killed your dad. So being a recognized ‘vampire hunter’ wasn’t such a good thing.

Maybe that’s why you couldn’t stand being near them, nor living with them. That’s why when you had a vampire as a patient (who are most of the time the ½ vampires) you made sure of learning all about them, learning how to defend yourself from them, and even might kill them.

You have a specific freezer for human blood and some samples of whatever type of blood vampires have. Spending most of the time examining the different types of cells and differences from the human blood.

And that’s the thing. Having human blood and being alone in the middle of nowhere is not the safest option to avoid vampires.

Gojo Satoru is a well respected young vampire, not by his ancestors though, since he decided to live more of a ‘pacific lifestyle.’ Humans had this thing where vampires couldn’t feed themselves with human blood. At this rate he doesn’t know if the new generations are good for everyone or just for humans, and do not even dare to talk about animal blood, that’s disgusting. 

But when he has the chance of drinking human blood, I'm telling you, this man becomes insatiable. Maybe that’s why society invented other types of supplements for vampires. But coming from a lofty clan, he couldn’t live from those disgusting things human called ‘’food’’

And well... when he saw this cute lady coming out from the hospital with a case full of blood bags (thanks to his supernatural power to identify the delectable human blood on his own) he couldn’t resist himself from following you until you got home.

Please let it be possible that vampires can be knocked out, you thought. You couldn't believe a vampire was standing right infront of your freezer looking for something. With all of the strength you could muster up, you swung the pan down right on his head, no doubt strong enough to give anyone a major concussion. Immediately, he fell to the ground, as lifeless as he wouldn’t be if he wasn’t a vampire.

“Holy shit…” You breathed out, shoulders high and tense. Looking down at him, you noticed how young he looked, and in all honesty, he didn’t look threatening at all. You felt a tinge of worry, wondering if he wasn’t a vampire after all, and you might’ve just killed him.

So that’s how you find yourself here and how you might met the love of your life.

Edging closer to the man, you bent down to see if he was breathing. He was completely still. That didn’t tell you much, though, as he could be dead or…the undead.

Thank god you had a basement here, especially if anything like this happened. I guess following your dad's steps really helped you out. Which was why it was the best place to drag the vampire into. Maybe you could keep him in there and question him on how the hell he got into your house, and at the same time, you could keep him at a safe distance from yourself.

He was much heavier than you thought he was, but you guessed that came from his height. He was still unconscious but you guessed that it wouldn’t be for long. Suddenly, two large hands grabbed the rusted metal bars from inside of the room and you screamed as his face had come into view like a jump scare.

“Get me out.”

You backed up from the window as far as you could, going to the other side of the room. You didn’t know why you were so scared, mainly because he was behind a locked door. You guessed that despite whatever vampire strength he had, he couldn’t get himself out.

Maybe it’s the hit on his head still playing games? The metal bars your dad gave you for this?

“What are you doing? Let me out!” He frowned. “Why did you put me in here?”

“W-why are you in my house?” You asked him. He didn’t say anything for a second.

‘’Ah.. shit.’’ Right, the blood bags. “Bitch, I was hungry!” He yelled back, making you recoil. Did he just call you a bitch? “That’s why I’m here, because I was hungry and I thought that maybe I could steal some of the blood bags you have.’’

‘‘Have you been stalking me?!’’ How does this vampire know about the blood bags?!

‘‘Uh-... no?... Yes.’’

You sighed. “Do you have anywhere else to go?”

“No…not really.” He said as if he was embarrassed. “I decided to drop out of college when I turned, so I can’t go back on campus.”

 “You can stay here if you want.” You didn’t exactly feel sure about him staying here, but he might help you with your research. He’s still a vampire after all… he’s a threat. But fuck it, that's how you learn new things. You asked for his name after you told yours.

‘‘Okay… Gojo Satoru. But you have to stay in there for a while, until I trust you.’’

“What about when I’m hungry?” He asked.

“I’ll figure that out’’

“What about when I’m lonely?”

“...’’

The faint sound of Gojo calling in your name woke you up. 

“What the fuck…?” You frowned, squinted eyes getting used to the sunlight. “Oh my fucking gosh.” You quickly got up from your bed, putting on your slippers, and stumbling out of your room, barely able to walk in a straight line. You stomped your way down two flights of stairs until you were met with Gojo holding on to the bars again. “What?!”

“Hi.” He greeted you. “It’s tomorrow, right? I can’t really tell since I’ve been locked in a basement of a dungeon with no light. But if it’s tomorrow, can I have a blood bag? It’s been weeks since I’ve eaten.’’

‘‘And why haven’t you eaten? There’s literal stores for you, vampires!’’

‘‘Ah.. well… I don’t like those.’’

‘‘What?...’’ You looked at him in disbelief for a few seconds. “You woke me up at 7 in the morning for a blood bag?”

“In my defense, I didn’t know it was 7.” He shrugged. You opened up the door of the cell, walking up the stairs, still tired from waking up only ten minutes ago. You heard him follow you, steps surprisingly light for someone as tall as he was.

He started looking around your house, kinda creepy for a vampire if you keep looking at weapons for them.

‘‘Um.. Are you a vampire hunter?’’

‘‘Yes.’’

He chuckled at your answer and sat on top of the table. ‘Why? Weren’t they banned like years ago? Humans even live with vampires, that’s silly from you.’’

‘‘Maybe I wouldn’t be silly if your kind didn’t killed my dad.’’

.... Shit. Maybe you shouldn't have said that.

‘‘Oh... I’m sorry.’’

You sighed, he didn’t mean it in a bad way, he shouldn’t receive this type of behavior from you.

‘‘It 's… okay. I’m not a vampire hunter like it, i’m more like a vampire examinator?’’ Well, you didn’t even think about that one before, if you didn’t want to kill vampires why are you doing this?

You handed him a blood bag from the freezer, watching his eyes light up made you slightly smile, he’s kinda cute. You woke up from your trance and slightly shook your head away from those thoughts.

“Remember not to rip it open and spill it.” You said. “Especially not on these old floors, it’ll soak right in.”

“Oh…right.” He said, twisting open the nozzle and drinking from there. You watched him down it in less than thirty seconds, his brows furrowed in concentration. After he was done, he set it down on the counter.

‘‘Uh.. Can I stay again tonight?... I can sleep on the floor again!’’

....

One night turned into two nights, and two nights turned into a week, and a week, turned into a month.

You found yourself smiling at him, not noticing how used to him you’ve gotten. He was very peculiar in the least, but you guessed that was mainly because of him being a vampire. You found yourself wondering what he was like when he was a human. It was weird to know that the two of you were always in such close proximity without knowing it. Maybe it was fate. You snapped back into reality once he smiled at you, and you didn’t even think to return the smile. Instead, you looked down at your hands, picking at your nails as if you were busy. Honestly, you were embarrassed to get caught looking at the handsome vampire with boyish charm.

“Y'know…you’ve been holding out really well, so far.” You told him. “You have even helped me with my researches, nothing that I didn’t knew about, but still helped me confirm me”

He turned to look at you. “Really?” He asked, eyes brightening up a little.

“Really.” You nodded with a smile, and he lazily smiled back. “So, I’ve decided to give you a little present.”

“A present? What is it?” He asked curiously, words muffled by the fact that he was still entranced by the tv and some vampire supplement you bought for him 

“Guess.” You told him, feeling a bit mischievous. “I’ll give you a hint. It’s almost like…Why did we meet in the first place.”

“Hm?” He tilted his head to the side. “I’ve never hit you with a pan though? Or have I?” He furrowed his eyebrows in thought.

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t think too hard, you even called me bitch for it’’

“But I really can’t think of anything?” He said. “Can you just give me it? I’m not good at this guessing game…”

“Satoru…” You sighed, something was happening to you, on him... leaned towards him, softly caressing his cheek and giving him a small peck. That wasn’t the surprise, and you were as surprised as him when you did that. It’s just that his eyes looked so beautiful, his messy hair covering his forehead, and his cheeky smile while watching some shitty show on the tv... He froze in surprise, enough to not be able to kiss you back. 

“Oh…” He chuckled nervously, and you swore something on him changed the moment he looked right into your eyes again. “Can you maybe do it again?” He asked.

You responded with another kiss, one that he had returned this time, except for more fervor. It was like he was waiting to kiss you, dreaming about your lips on his. Did this mean…that you felt the same? Were you as infatuated with him as he was to you? He doubted that it was possible. All without you knowing, he might’ve fallen in love. Falling in love with a vampire, what they trained you hate most...  It only had to be fate that brought you two together.

“I really like you.” Gojo blurted out once you two parted.

“Do you mean that?” You asked him, slight insecurity peeking out from your otherwise hard shell. “I doubt you’ve met very many people in your life.”

‘‘Oh I have, but no one could compare to you sugar.’’ His lips attached to yours again, it’s like he was waiting for this moment his whole life.

¨S-satoru, wait!¨ He immediately stopped his actions, looking worried and for any kind of threat in you.

‘‘That wasn’t the surprise, you can try human blood again.’’

‘‘You got new blood bags? That’s amazing!’’ He was about to stand up from the couch when you stopped him sitting down on his lap, which made him froze.

‘‘I mean it's like… human, human. You can try my blood.’’

‘‘What?'' Silence passed.

''Are you sure? You’re not going to kill me or something right? I’ve seen those knifes you have in the basement and that could sure even kill Dracula.’’ You nodded and laughed at what he said.

He gulped, dark red eyes honing into the beating vein on the left side of your neck. He hesitantly bent down, nose to your neck as he took a big whiff of your sweet blood. He shut his eyes, fighting off the instinct to groan at just how good you smelled.

You chuckled at his reaction, ‘‘I mean it Satoru, this is me saying I like you too. I trust you.’’ With one more second of hesitation, he bit into your neck with his sharp fangs, and you felt a sharp pain. Your grip on his shoulders got tighter as you tried to distract yourself from the pain.

He couldn’t stop the moans of satisfaction at the magnificent taste of your blood, and you gradually noticed that something felt weird. You still felt the pain on the bite, but Gojo’s demeanor changed. It was almost as if he was enjoying it too much. His hands were grabby, not only on your hips, but in your waist and your bottom, and you gasped in surprise.

You started to notice what was going on when you felt how hard he was, his bulge pushing into your stomach.

¨’Toru…?’’ You breathed out, feeling light headed. He moaned, suddenly grinding his lower half into you. He then retracted his fangs, looking at you with wide, lust blown eyes, your blood dribbling down his chin.

“I’m s-sorry-“ He whined, placing you on the counter and rutting himself into you. “I’m so sorry, I-I don’t mean, to, I can’t help it-“ He broke out into an erotic moan, and despite how lightheaded and out of it you were, it aroused you to no end.

You assured him it was okay, looking into his eyes, you could find lust, but mostly embarrassment from it. You didn’t know that he could get this worked up from his own bloodlust, but you weren’t complaining. The only thing you had a problem with was the fact that there were too many clothes separating the both of you, but you didn’t think neither of you were in the right minds to seperate and take each article off.

“Can I be inside of you?” Gojo asked in between harsh breaths. “Please, please, please, I want to so bad-“ It was almost as if he was in pain, rutting into you so hard that you bounced on top of his lap each time. You nodded your head aggressively, opening your legs so you were caging his. You were wearing black leggings, and you thought that they’d be quick and easy to take off, but Gojo instead decided to rip them down the middle, doing so with ease.

“Satoru…!”

“Sorry! It’s just… I can’t take it any more baby..” He apologized over and over again, even as he released his cock from its confines, holding the thick base in between a shaky fist. He moved your panties to the side and slid in with one thrust. The both of you whined loudly at that, and he couldn’t wait any further before he started pounding into you with fervor. You heard the sound of your wet heat, but you didn’t care, mouth agape in a silent scream as he pounded into you with no remorse.

Well…some remorse. He couldn’t stop apologizing as he fucked into you, begging for you to forgive him for being so dirty and succumbing uncontrollable urges.

You yelped as he picked you up from the back of the couch, holding you in his arms as he dropped you on his cock over and over.

“Fuck!” You cursed. “M-more, more-“ You chanted, feeling his cock deep inside of you. You saw tears start to slide down his cheeks and he cried with pleasure. You clenched around him, wanting to see him unravel even more, which made him fuck you on his cock even faster, using you like a rag doll. His vampire strength had kicked in once he drank your sweet blood, something that he was afraid he’d get addicted on since he tasted you for the first time.

He was addicted to your warmth, your lips, your blood, and especially the way your pussy just sucked him in, holding tight and never letting go

“F-fuck, ‘toru, I’m cumming!” You moaned, your pussy convulsing around his cock and making him go crazy. You came around him, eyes rolling to the back of your head. He nearly slammed you into a wall, fucking you roughly, the slick from your cum making it easier to slide in and out of you.

You were extremely overstimulated, your abused pussy needing a break, but Gojo couldn’t stop. He let out nearly pornographic moans as he fucked you through yet another orgasm, not even noticing exactly what you were going through.

You just had to sit there, his cock inside of you, moaning his name again and again., taking just what he needed to give you.

“Oh fuck, (Y/N)-“ He whined, more tears spilling out of his eyes. You were out of it, dazed and cock drunk. “I’m gonna cum— ah!” He mewled out as he finally came, stilling inside of you as he filled you up. His legs shook as he shut his eyes tightly in pleasure.

After he finally calmed down, it was as if he returned to his senses. He quickly pulled out, immediately apologizing as you winced. He gently put you down, but your knees buckled, almost dropping to the floor, yet he caught you.

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry-“ He said, putting his softening member back in his pants. “I can’t believe I just did that to you, I really didn’t mean to, are you okay?“

“‘Toru, I’m fine.” You said to him, holding onto him tightly so you wouldn’t fall. You were still a bit lightheaded, but you were able to reassure him. “I didn’t expect it, but I’m really okay.”

“You shouldn’t have let me drink from you.” He said, tears still falling. “I’ve ruined everything, how could I get so out of-“

You interrupted him with a kiss to shut him up.

“Listen, ‘toru…” You said softly, the nickname making him calm down a bit. “You did nothing wrong. At all. I am more than fine. In fact…I really liked it.”

You watched as his ears got red. “Y-you liked…that? Did I not hurt you?”

You shook your head with a chuckle. “No. In fact…you made me feel really…really good.” You smiled, making him get even more flustered. “I’m just kind of tired. As good as you made me feel, you wore me the hell out.”

“I can carry you to your bed.” Gojo said, quick to pick you up. she then noticed your ripped leggings and destroyed panties. He gulped, feeling even more sorry. “And I can help you change into clothes that aren’t ripped…”

¨What if I tell you I want another round?¨

[socra-time]

Socra’s Naruto Liveblog, Ep. 131-135

(As I said before I’ll be watching select filler episodes now that I’m basically done with OG Naruto)

Ep 131:

-this is the biggest nitpick of all time but you seriously can’t tell me there were ZERO other Uchihas who were away like Sasuke was while Itachi was murdering everyone

-I know it’s just because of the dub trying to match the Japanese honorifics but it annoys me so much when siblings in anime refer to each as “Big Brother” and “Little Brother” and so on

-goddddd little Sasuke’s voice acting is so bad

-Itachi’s explanation that he massacred the clan so that Sasuke would hate him and want to defeat him is both definitely a lie AND really stupid

-okay so maybe Itachi DID kill Shisui? I’m 100000% sure that there’s something more going on under the surface with the Itachi plot but it’s so hard to know what to believe

-Jesus Christ why did NO ONE in the village check on Sasuke after his fucking clan got murdered???

-ngl this “kill your best friend” thing is a lil cringe

Ep 132:

-YES KAKASHI GO GET YOUR KIDS

-is Pakkun the only one of Kakashi’s dogs that talks? I can’t remember if any of the others have spoken or if they just bark

-jeez Kakashi’s dogs travel fast. It literally took them like 5 minutes to alert Kakashi that they found something

-awww poor Naruto, he looks so heartbroken when he realizes that Sasuke really wants to kill him. Also his little monologue about his relationship with Sasuke made me sad

-also this is an unrelated point but it’s so funny how Shikamaru and Choji are always just vibing in the background of Naruto and Sasuke’s flashbacks to when they were little

-Jesus Christ Sasuke take a fucking chill pill

-oh fuck NOW Naruto’s going apeshit

Ep 133:

-holy shit the animation is already popping off. In a way it’s kind of distracting tho because the animation style and character models look noticeably quite different

-Naruto said “when I’m with Iruka, I wonder if this is what it’s like to have a father” and now I’m fucking ugly crying about Iruka and Naruto’s relationship

-it’s very interesting to me that Sasuke put his headband back on, indirectly acknowledging Naruto as an equal

-ughhhh the fight animation is going so hard

-the Sharingan continues to be stupidly broken

-the water set piece for this fight is SO good, all the splashes on the impacts are so satisfying

-oof the brief haunted expression on Sasuke’s face when he sees Naruto burnt-up at his feet was so good, it’s one of the most expressive faces he’s ever made

-oh Naruto is just going fully feral now? Yeah shit is about to go DOWN

-so far Sasuke’s curse mark form is underwhelming. I hope there’s more to it

Ep 134:

-what the fuckity fuck is going on with Sasuke’s hand wings

-the animation of Sasuke’s chidori in his cursed form is crazy

-bruh why is the scene of little Sasuke and little Naruto linking hands with the sad piano music making me so emotionalllll

-damn all the symbolism with Sasuke’s headband (him putting it on, it getting scratched, it falling off, and him leaving it behind) is making me insane. When it fell off I immediately felt so sad

-and of course it’s fucking raining

-awww Kakashi :(

-everyone is sad now. I hate it here.

-who the actual fuck is this Venus flytrap ass dude

Ep 135:

-aw shit hospital time

-awww Akamaru my poor bby:(

-oh god Shikamaru probably feels fucking awful

-anddddd yep he feels fucking awful. He really should not be dealing with this shit at the ripe old age of 12

-I don’t like Shikamaru’s dad’s voice. It sounds too similar to Shikamaru’s

-yay everyone’s okay! I mean I knew they would be but yay!

-aw Shikamaru’s crying :((((((. That was a really good character moment for him tho, it’s nice to see him drop the nonchalant/aloof act

-Sasuke my dude maybe you shouldn’t be so chill about working with this guy who keeps a bunch of people in his lair in cells

-anyways where tf is Lee. I wanna see my boy.

-god can we PLEASE get these kids some therapy. Literally all of the genin except Shino, Tenten, and Ino could seriously use it at this point

[rotating-hyperfixations]

Yellowjackets - 03x05 Live Watch Thoughts

Work was stupid today because I accidentally became important, but now it’s time to watch lesbian cannibals make poor life choices! All thoughts are below the cut for spoilers

We’re getting them flashing to their younger selves when Misty’s looking at Lottie’s body, I will eat it up everytime

Misty just taking DNA samples and Lottie’s personal effects, she will solve this murder god dammit

Misty refusing to address Shauna, she’s petty and I love it

Shauna is now accusing Misty, I hope their beef never dies

Misty’s going to avenger her girlfriends’ deaths

I can’t believe they just left Ben with animals and didn’t make him a proper jail or anything lol. Like yall built shelters, you can build a little prison

Honestly, I’m a little shocked Lottie had a cell phone

Shauna wants to light him on fire, my baby girl is so fucked up

New lore being introduced to the card draws, I imagine the king of hearts will be important in future hunts?

Now Shauna is stalking Misty, how the tables have turned

Also does Misty drive a Kia?! That feels so on brand for her

I want Shauna to drive on the turnpike so bad, I know she has the worst road rage

“It was not murder…per say” never change Shauna

Walter and Shauna team up is going to get people killed

Tai gets to kill Ben, gay people friendly fire at its finest

Also why is Tai so non chalant at lunch after learning that Lottie’s dead. Girl try to make it look like you care a little.

Van thinks Tai killed Lottie, not a soul on gods green earth is shocked

That stupid ass stair case is just in an apartment building/hotel?!

Not that I’d think anything else, but does Misty have a DNA kit or some shit to test all this stuff with?

Lottie’s parents are divorced?! Do any of their parents love them?

Malcom Matthews at the scene of the crime; I knew I didn’t like that man

I know Shauna wants too much; but I do feel like she would’ve been the best choice to kill the man, simply because she is just so desensitized

Very big fan of the Van comforting Tai scene, very sweet

SHAUNAHAT CONTENT!! I love my loser lesbians

Melissa, I love you, keep Jackie’s name of your mouth.

I do think it’s important that Melissa lets Shauna know that she loves the dark parts of her

Wait she made Shauna a little knife holster, that’s sweet

Oh god they made Misty tell Ben

Well I guess they made him a nice last super?

I’m growing attached to Ben, I don’t like this

Lottie leave Akilah alone!

At least Travis is coming I guess, feels like it’s the least he can do after he sicked Lottie on her

Does Lottie’s dad have dementia or Alzheimer’s?

What the fuck did the out Elijah wood in

Van is such a loser, god I love her

Omg finally gay sex in the woods!

Omg Van tops?! That was hot

Courtney Eaton drop your arms routine, you are looking quite fine today

Also, lowkey, Courtney’s Australian has been sneaking it a little bit this season. It’s kinda sweet

Akilah/Travis friendship?!

Jesus Tai, you brought Van with you to see your ex?!

Other Tai clearly made in appearance when she met up with Sammy

God Walter and Shauna are lowkey wlw and mlm hostility coded

Does Tai really need to kill this rabbit, like did we did not need that

I’m curious if those are real caves or if they made them. Like they shot outside for the most part, so they strike me as real; but that also seems like a lot of work

I kinda feel bad for Walter because I do think he genuinely cares about Misty. But he can also choke

Shauna’s guilty conscious lives on

Ohh man now I feel bad for Lottie and her dad. Like he did love her.

Shauna is still a good person! She’s traumatized as hell, but she still cares!

Van, you dumb baby, that’s your wife’s alter ego! Get it together

This season is very Twin Peaks, I have never seen Twin Peaks, but the vibes are similar

Akiliah feeling hope in your hallucination state feels like a bad sign

Why did they send the JV girls to get Ben

The necklace death marker continues

Other Tai took over, thank god I guess

Jesus Christ Lottie, do not throw yourself in front of a loaded gun

Also damn, I guess other Tai Chi piece been fucking dead on

Shaunahat making each other worse content, things you love to see

I just know Shauna is turned on by this

Did they intentional send Shauna and Melissa in to go maim him. Because you can’t keep putting Shauna in these situations and can’t be shocked when she gets wors

[inafieldofstarflowers]

Top five reasons you (yes, you) should watch Star Wars Rebels:

Immaculate found family energy—these characters have a home together. They know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and support one another in achieving the things that are important to them, and their relationships drive the show in a way that feels incredibly genuine.

Character depth—Rebels genuinely has some of the best character development of any Star Wars property I’m familiar with. Each of the characters gets a chance to grow in some way, whether that’s gaining perspective of the world or understanding something new about themselves. They are well fleshed out and consistent. It’s also such a cool look into both what it meant to be a Jedi in the rebellion era, between iterations of the Jedi order, and what it meant to not be a Jedi but still fight in the rebellion. I love that Rebels tells both stories and doesn’t favor one or the other.

Quality Lore—Rebels has a clear trajectory: you get to watch the cast progress from being one of many isolated rebel cells to helping create a unified rebellion. And yet, the show never loses sight of its roots, and the heart of the show stays grounded on Lothal, the planet where it began, and Lothal becomes something of a symbol throughout the show. Also, in terms of broader Star Wars lore, SO many important items or people have their stories told—you get lots of nods to or arcs centered around the darksaber, the mortis gods, the rebellion, darth maul, and more, all of which enrich the experience of watching a lot of the other movies and shows.

Cool visuals—I know a lot of people are turned off by the animation style, especially the saber size, and wish it was like Clone Wars. But Rebels honestly has really beautiful art, and you see a variety of cool planets along the way (Lothal is especially pretty imo).

Compelling villains—This is big for me personally, because to me, Star Wars thrives most when it has a good villain—think Vader and Palpatine; think Maul and Pong Krell. And Rebels has multiple villains who are believably threatening and also work incredibly well in terms of adding to the plot.

Give Rebels a chance; it’s truly incredible, and also just so genuinely fun. Whether you’re a fan of TCW who was thrown by the animation or a fan who just watched Ahsoka and wants to learn more about these characters or a fan who hasn’t dipped into the tv shows, you should ABSOLUTELY watch it. I promise you get used to the sabers being animated differently, and that the characters continue to gain depth throughout.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

2 - 4 A Locked-Room Mystery

You telling me I have to WAIT for new designs you kidding???

I have some 'neat plans' for MOTLE, idk might include New Fucked-Up Lore because what else is the cartoon for?? But I'll have to see

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

Little Logico wanders outside, and is immediately grabbed!!

LOGICO: OH FUCK NO, I AM NOT A STUFFED ANIMAL!

As charming as that is, that’s not why the people picked him up. He’s under arrest! He’s thrown in a little jail cell - this is NOT the luxury prison Gico is used to. 

COPPER: THERE you are you little PRICK! LOGICO: OH GOOD GOD!

Yep, she’s here, alongside Champagne and Bluski. 

BLUSKI: Hey. CHAMPAGNE: Hi. LOGICO: Of course, of COURSE the usual suspects are following me. WHY AM I HERE?? PERSON: A prisoner has been murdered and you’re the murder person. LOGICO: Good to know. I blame Officer Copper. COPPER: Chillax, my brother. I’m not a psycho cop anymore. Heh, around here, if they thought I looked at a guy wrong they’d put me down as a ‘bad dog’. LOGICO: Right.

In what appears to be a miniature theater for watching interrogations, Logico digs a scrap of paper from under a beautiful couch.

“In a street fight, ten people always beat one.”

Champ checks the passage.

CHAMPAGNE: This is from the Big Red Book. Major Red wrote this. LOGICO: Do you know who that is? CHAMPAGNE: Heh. Yeah. Don’t wanna get yourself in with him. [walks away] LOGICO: ...Care to share ANYTHING else??

Logi explores a phrase Irratino always whispered to him - the tallest suspect has the cheapest pen. Now just by looking at them, Champagne is the tallest guy in the room, but by legal standards, Bluski is supposed to be taller, so his pen is very cheap.

LOGICO: It- It makes sense if you look it up.

Seeing that Logico ‘caught’ his pen trick, Bluski heads to the elevator and travels way up.

LOGICO: How big is this station? CHAMPAGNE: 25 stories. Final floor, they’ve been known to throw people out the window.  LOGICO: This is horrific. I’m starting to miss the luxury prison. CHAMPAGNE: We all do mate.

Irratino is back home, asleep. He is dreaming of a human police woman wearing boots. I guess something different happens in the dream, and he shifts and giggles. But don’t worry, Logico got the clue somehow. This obviously means Copper kicked the prisoner to death! She shakes her head madly and spits all over the place.

COPPER: HOW CAN IT BE ILLEGAL IF A COP DOES IT???? LOGICO: I hate you so much. COPPER: NO, YOU HAVE TO SAVE ME! I’M A ‘BAD DOG’! I’M- LOGICO: Oh. OH, YOU MEANT LIKE THAT- PERSON: No, no.

A couple humans walk over and start creepily petting and patting Copper.

PERSON: There is no need for a consequence - it was only a prisoner. COPPER: Huh. Kinda like these guys~ LOGICO: I hATE this so much. Can I leave now?!?! COPPER: Whatever, man.

Logico tears away. He needs to get to the violet isles as soon as possible… for some reason.

The end!

Let's try to ignore Copper flirting with some background humans

(ok slight rant but I've saved it for the end so as to not ward people off, you can skip it)

I know it sounds petty but like I swear to god if anyone posts a murdle artwork, the entire tumblr fandom will notice (which is great btw!), but then if I post an artwork it's only the same three or so people who might look at it and it's just...

is it really THAT bad?? like... what am I doing wrong... ngl it's starting to feel less like the art quality and more personal...

but um... yea. i'm trying my best i guess

Uh chonkers jumpscare

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!