#god there’s too many in my brain to recall fast enough

[blorbobingus]

“oh yes, i am very reasonable and normal about this subject!!”

*proceeds to mass reblog any related content*

[dark-fics-4-you]

Best Friend’s Brother

Warnings: noncon, smut, drug use, drinking, violence, choking

The tapping of your nails against your phone screen and the distant sounds of the bass thumping downstairs over the hum of the party were the only noises that greeted your ears in the dark room. You were so drunk you were typing with only one eye open to stop the text from blurring.

needed a breather. give me 10 to 15 and i’ll be back down

You pressed send, clicking the power button on your phone as you sat back onto the bed. Sarah wouldn’t miss you too much, you just needed a minute to get your head back on straight. Swaying slightly, you kicked off your heels before reclining in the bed.

Your head was spinning from the alcohol as you tried to recall how many drinks you had had that night, you had taken at least 4 shots and god knows how many glasses of punch you had.

Your thoughts were interrupted when light streamed in through a crack in the door, and you squinted towards the figure who was approaching.

“Y/N, what the fuck are you doing in my room?” Rafe’s voice was unmistakable, sending a zap of anxious energy down your spine.

You sat up again, glaring at your best friend’s brother. He was definitely high, and anger filled his eyes along with something else that you had never seen in him before but couldn’t quite place.

“I didn’t know it was your room, asshole! I’m fucking drunk.” You snapped back, slurring your words somewhat. You pressed a hand over your eyes, which were hurting from the harsh light coming from the hallway.

“Bullshit,” he drew closer, sneering at you, and you shrank away from him. “You’ve been best friends with Sarah for, what, 8 years now? You’ve been coming over to our house practically everyday. You think I honestly believe you didn’t know this was my room?”

You looked up at him in confusion, not understanding why he was arguing with you about this. He barely even spoke to you normally, your relationship mostly consisted of you cowering from his searing gaze and biting your tongue at his sarcastic remarks. And now he thought you had come into his room on purpose?

Your drunk brain wasn’t able to filter the words coming out of your mouth fast enough, “Well maybe all that fucking coke you do is making you extra paranoid.”

That was the wrong thing to say.

You had always known that Rafe was irrational and quick to anger, but for some stupid reason, you assumed that being Sarah’s best friend shielded you from any physical violence Rafe could dole out.

You definitely weren’t expecting him to grab your wrist, fingers tightening hard enough to bruise as he climbed on top of you, draping his lips over yours.

You struggled beneath him, trying to wrench your wrist free from his grasp to push at him but it was no use.

When his lips found your neck, hands running across your chest and pushing up your shirt, your mind finally accepted what was actually happening.

A choked moan ripped from your throat when his lips attached to one of your nipples, licking and nipping at the tender bud. You tensed when you felt his large hand wrap around your throat in a silent threat.

Rafe brought his other hand to you thighs, easing under your skirt and hooking a finger into the lacy panties you were wearing and dragging them down your legs.

You fought to sit up again, kicking your legs as you did, but he roughly pushed you back down before pulling your underwear off all the way.

“S-SARAH!” You screamed through tears, gasping when the hand at your throat squeezed harder.

“Can’t be that loud, sweetheart,” Rafe mocked in a disappointed tone. “Now I have to shut you up.” You looked up at him with fearful eyes, resisting when his fingers gripped your jaw, opening your mouth and stuffing your panties into it.

You gagged against the material, hot tears filling your eyes as you watched your best friend’s brother undo the button on his shorts, pulling down the zipper and kicking his shorts and boxers off in one move.

You shook your head, breathing heavily as you silently begged with him through your teary eyes, but it was no use.

Rafe lined himself up with your hips, giving you no time to react before he was pushing his cock all the way into you in one stroke. His hand found your neck again, squeezing tight enough that your vision swam and started blacking out at the edges.

You cried against the panties in your mouth, choking as Rafe snapped his hips against yours at a ruthless pace.

You had never been more afraid in your life.

So why could you feel yourself getting slicker the more he jerked into you? He pulled one of your legs up to rest on his shoulder, and your leg shook as he fucked you harder.

“I always-” Rafe panted, growling and batting your hands away when you tried to push him off. “I always knew you’d feel this good.”

[queenimmadolla]

what about one based on fall outta love by salem?

the morning after a house party at ricks, eddie bumps into reader for the first time - hungover in a kitchen and they instantly fall for each other, but reader initially rebuffs him (and every other guy in hawkins) & eventually agrees to a date but despite her feelings for him she tells him to fall out of love with her, they keep hanging but he just falls harder and then finds out from someone else she had her heart literally ripped out and set alight by an ex so has built so many walls hence constantly telling him to save himself, fall out of love because that’s what she’s also telling herself. but obvioooooously, they will end up together 🫶

my god. this one got out of hand. i mean i really ran away with it. thought it’d be like 2k word count wise now here we are at 8k! since the song was in scream, I decided to have it be a Halloween party they meet at! I took a couple of creative liberties because I couldn’t think of a date idea fast enough to write in a satisfying manner (meaning decently, but Eddie would most definitely consider smoking in your car as a date, he’d consider anything with you a date, so long as you’d have him.) and I didn’t want to have too many large time skips, but I still tried to capture the root of the request! Hope you like it because i LOVED writing it!

𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)

warnings: teenage angst, fluff, alcohol consumption, underage drinking, reader dresses as Ghostface, Eddie as Michael Myers and Heather Holloway meddles in your love life

a/n: we’re gonna pretend Scream came out in the early 80s (I have a whole fancast of an 80s version). let me know if the keep reading tab eats or repeats paragraphs so i can remove it!

“Jesus Christ,” you groaned, forcing your eyes open in a squint as you were pulled from sleep due to the chill of the air. You could make out a mesh covered ceiling—wait no. You still had your mask on. 

You lifted your head from the cushion it had been resting on, frowning when you realized you’d wiped out on the couch at Reefer Rick’s. Your head was killing you and you could feel something sitting in your stomach, something that wouldn’t be going anywhere but up.

You’d caught wind of the party when Heather mentioned it to you. Initially, you’d been skeptical of attending─not because of the weed and drugs that would be going around, you were a hardy participant in that—since you were sure that it would disappoint you. It’s not like you expected anything life changing to happen at a drug dealer’s party, but you’d been faced with a lot of recent let downs and disappointment, not a whole lot was going on in your life. That was sort of the problem. You liked being on your own, it was safe; you wouldn’t get hurt and nothing would happen to you again.

But nothing was happening to you. 

It was like you were living your life on autopilot, finding barely any joy in things. Maybe part of you hoped you’d somehow find some at the party.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t remember shit, having blacked out after your friends talked you into a couple of shots. After the fifth, it was all you and by the ninth, caution was gone with the wind. It wasn’t even a blur to you, you legitimately couldn’t recall a single thing other than your own laughter along with your friends’ immediately after downing that last shot.

You’d gone dressed as Ghostface, a quick last minute costume that wasn’t too much effort (you wore something a little scandalous underneath the black gown just in case it proved to be a ‘sexy’ party instead of just a bunch of teenagers dressed however they wanted to be) and you liked the mystery it gave you, you could interact with anyone and no one would know it was you.

Your head throbbed as images popped up—memories. The memory blurs finally arrived and they were causing your brain a great deal of pain. You couldn’t recall too much and you didn’t want to because nothing good could have come from getting fucked up so fast and waking up on some pornstach having dealer’s couch (seriously, Rick was like thirty two and he was hanging out with teens? Red fucking flag). 

You sighed as you pushed yourself up, hugging the black gown of your costume a little tighter around you. You wished you’d gone with wearing a long sleeve t-shirt and some warm pants instead of the cheap black corset and black tights. Should’ve know better, really, because it was way too fucking cold to dress hot on Halloween.

The wind howled outside of the house, as if to prove your point and you stood up, stepping over the sleeping individuals that littered the ground. You noticed a couple of your friends but you hadn’t driven together so there was no point in waking them. Clearly, you hadn’t been the only one to pass out at the party and you made a note to never do that again. Anyone could have taken advantage of you.

You chanced a glance at your wrist and breathed a sigh of relief. It was still early, really early. Barely even 5am, so you could still make it home before your parents were up and realized you hadn’t met your curfew, you could also be sick in the comfort of your own clean bathroom. You made a beeline for the door.

“Another survivor,” a voice commented, disturbing the quiet of the thoroughly wrecked house.

You followed the voice, spotting Eddie Munson in the corner of the kitchen, leaning up against the counter there. 

You weren’t too familiar with him, had a couple of classes with him in the past, saw him around school and knew he dealt to a couple people, but you hadn’t ever had an encounter with him before. Never exchanged a single word.

The feeling in your stomach grew worse, as did the pulsing in your head, “I don’t know about that.”

Your voice was a near whisper, hoarse from whatever the fuck happened last night after you blacked out.

Eddie chuckled and you wondered how he was still functioning—and this early, too—but you hadn’t seen him around. Or maybe you had, you thought as you took in the blue mechanic overalls he was wearing and the Michael Myers mask by his side. Like you, and just about everyone else at the party, he hadn’t been the only one with that costume, so while you could recall seeing a couple of Michaels around while you were sober, you couldn’t be positive one of them had been him.

“Not feeling too good, Ghost?” He didn’t seem to have a problem talking to a total stranger, talking you up like he was familiar with you, which you highly doubted thanks to your mask.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Kinda just want to take my head off.” You rubbed the back of your head through the hood.

“You want some water?” He didn’t wait for your response, just went right into Rick’s fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, reaching over the counter to hand it to you.

Despite how it seemed to jostle your brain, you gave a brief laugh before you remembered people were still passed out and you hastily tried to silence yourself, covering your mouth which ended with you letting out an embarrassing snort. Then you quickly took the offered bottle into your glove-covered hand, but you didn’t drink it, regardless of how badly you wanted to. That would require taking off your mask.

Eddie just grinned, sliding his hands into the pockets of his costume.

“I like your costume.” You commented, your gloved fingers picking at the label on the bottle, heartbeat picking up as Eddie’s grin widened to expose his teeth. There was something about it, something secretive. Like he knew something you didn’t. 

“Thank you,” Eddie grabbed the Michael mask from where he’d placed it on the counter next to his own bottle of water. It flopped around in his hold. “Didn’t wanna show my mug.”

“That’s a shame.”

Pretty, is all you could think when he glanced to the side for a moment, looking all shy. His hair was a mess, yours was probably worse under your mask, definitely matted, but other than that, he looked put together. 

Suddenly, you were even more grateful for your mask. You hadn’t bothered putting on makeup since your face would be hidden for most of the night (save for pulling it over your mouth to drink). But god, you must have stunk. You couldn’t wait to get home where your shower and toothbrush were waiting for you. You were glad there was a notable distance between the both of you so he couldn’t smell you and the alcohol radiating off your being.

“So. So, so, so. I’m guessing you don’t remember.” Eddie leaned back against the counter behind him, looking very smug. 

Your blood went cold—colder, actually—at the implication.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no. What had you done?

Play it cool.

“I don’t know, do I?” You winced behind your mask. Cool, not stupid, you idiot! 

Eddie chuckled, glancing shyly down at the ground before his gaze flickered back up to you, warmth pooling in those brown eyes. 

Huh. You never noticed the color before. Or how big they were, or expressive. Very soft. 

“I don’t think so,” He responded, teeth biting at his lower lip as he stared at you from under his lashes.

“Damn. Didn’t expect you to call my bluff. Please tell me it wasn’t anything too embarrassing.”

“No, it wasn’t. Not in my opinion, we just—uh, hung out.” He licked his lips, suddenly looking very skittish. You did a quick mental body check, clenching down there to see if it felt different, sore to indicate you’d fucked someone but you felt nothing unusual, so you couldn’t have slept with him. He must have genuinely meant hanging out. 

“Oh. Okay. So, I did something pretty cool then.” It was the right thing to say, Eddie immediately perked up, leaving you amazed with how he somehow managed to go from sullen to glowing so fast.

“What? Not mortified that you spent time with The Freak?” He said it so nonchalantly, if you hadn’t seen how affected he’d appeared when he simply thought it moments ago, you wouldn’t think he cared.

“You’re no freakier than anyone else,” for some reason you offered him a smile even though he couldn’t see it. “But you appear significantly better dressed. In my opinion.”

Eddie looked like he was mulling something over, then he pulled his hands out of his pockets and took a step closer, grin morphling into a smile, a little more intimate, “You have an opinion of me?”

Oh, fuck. He was flirting. Oh, God. Eddie Munson was flirting with you.

He was flirting with you and he didn’t even know who you were. It made that feeling in your stomach more apparent because you knew the moment he found out who you were, he wouldn’t be interested. 

Just like—no. You couldn’t go there. You were finally in a good place and you’d be damned if you let any guy ruin it for you. Even Eddie Munson.

“It’s not very thorough. Well, it was nice meeting you, Eddie.” You didn’t wait for his reply as you returned to your original goal, ignoring the flash of disappointment you saw on his face in favor of slipping out the front door.

─

“He’s staring at you again,” Heather smirked, chin perched in her palm as she sat across from you in the cafeteria.

“Who?” You asked, trying to seem bored with the conversation to get her to drop it. Anytime she noticed some guy glance in your direction, she tried to convince you you had a new suitor. God forbid it actually was a dude who was interested in you. Heather always aggressively lobbied for you to do something about it then she’d get mad at you when you did, by telling them to move the hell on because it wasn’t gonna happen.

She leaned across the table, pretty brown eyes wide with excitement as she grinned. “Eddie. Munson.”

You tensed, swallowing the cucumber slice you’d popped into your mouth before she’d sprung the news on you. Despite how badly you wanted to, you kept yourself from turning to look at his table, almost clear across the cafeteria.

“What? Why?”

“Who cares? Eddie Munson is staring at you—has been every day this week and he’s been doing it in the halls, too,” Heather looked proud of herself for her snooping habits, curly side ponytail bobbing as she rattled on, “He’s cute, he can give you free weed—Lana Landon dated him for like a week and wouldn’t shut up about that perk, and I don’t know, he seems like a good guy. Maybe a little on the grumpy side, but I think that’s an act.”

You rolled your eyes and took a drink of water before responding.

“That’s all guys ever do. Act. He doesn’t know me, if anything he probably just thinks I’m pretty or something. He’ll get over it.” 

Heather smirked and you knew what was coming, “I think he’s still hung up on Ghostface.” 

She raised her eyebrows suggestively and you threw a chip at her, which she dodged with her palm.

“Hey! Friendly fire!”

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you that.” You groaned, shaking your head. After you’d gotten home and cleaned up, you’d called Heather, having remembered (with a great deal of panic) that she’d been there, too, and you might have left her there amongst the strung out people in the house. She seemed surprised at your relief when you heard her voice on the other side. Turns out, she’d left pretty early.

When you’d taken offense to her leaving you at some random party, she’d explained that she had initially tried to take you with her, but you’d been having such a good time talking with Eddie that you begged her to let you stay.

She hadn’t seen you like that over someone in a long time, so she’d actually threatened Eddie with bodily harm if anything happened to you and allowed you to stay.

Maybe that had been why Eddie was still around when you woke up.

“Look, I’m just saying you should talk to him. If he doesn’t know you’re Ghostface—which I’m pretty sure he does because he is doing some intense staring─then he’s just interested in you. Talk to him, give him a shot. Pleeeeaaase?” She batted her eyelashes, lower lip jutting out in a pout. 

You pretend to think it over, eyes raised to the ceiling. “Mmm—no.”

“Ugh!”

“Ugh!” You mimicked with a smirk, standing with your tray. “I’m gonna go smoke in my car, wanna come?”

“Yes,” She sighed but made no move to get up, in fact, she looked down right depressed. “But I can’t. I’ve gotta cram for Siegfried’s stupid stats test. There’s no way I’m getting anything higher than a ‘C’.” 

You failed to notice her gaze flicker behind you and back. “You have fun! Go! Give you brain cells a vacation.” 

Heather shooed you away, eagerness returning but that was Heather for you. She flip flopped through emotions pretty quick. With a shrug, you turned and made your way to a nearby trash can, dumping your tray on your way out. You’d made it halfway down the hall when you felt a presence behind you.

You swiveled around and flinched when you found Eddie just a foot behind you, hands raised to show he meant no harm with a sheepish grin on his face. 

“Sorry, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Geez! You’re really quiet, I didn’t hear a thing.” You calmed your breathing, running a hand over your hair.

Eddie snickered, gesturing down to his reeboks, “Sneakers.” 

A silence fills the space between you both as Eddie watched you fight to keep from smiling, bemused at how you were clearly losing.

“Get it?” He added to prompt your defeat. 

You succumbed to the smile, biting your lip to keep it from getting too big and Eddie looked thoroughly proud of his ability to be of some amusement to you.

“That was—that was really bad.” You admitted, still smiling. “It’s a good joke, great joke, just also very bad.”

“Belittle it all you want, it served its purpose.” Eddie shrugged his shoulders, scuffing one of his sneakers against the school tile. “Hey, uhm—where you going?”

You hadn’t expected him to be so direct, or nosey. “Not far.”

Eddie nodded, having expected you to be a little wary and pursed his lips, looking like he was ready for a kiss. Then he made a popping sound.

“Do you happen to smoke weed?” 

It was obvious to you that he was asking so he could offer and you remembered what Heather had said. About Eddie being able to give you free weed. Or rather, being used so he’d provide the weed. Truth was, you remembered Lana bragging about it, too, until Andrew Wilkerson from the baseball team started paying attention to her. She never mentioned Eddie or his weed again. And it hadn’t been just Lana, a couple of other girls took advantage of Eddie’s romantic side. You hadn’t cared all that much back then but after realizing he’d taken care of you on Halloween, had kept you company although he didn’t know you were you, thinking about what they did to him made you feel sick.

You didn’t use people, you knew too well how awful it felt. Still, Eddie looked so hopeful. You had a feeling he fully expected you to do the same thing as those other girls, but was too naive or resilient to give up. Reminded you a lot of how you used to be.

“I do,” you confirmed and when Eddie opened his mouth, ready to offer you what he had in that lunchbox of his, you continued, “I have a nug in my car, if you’d like to join me.”

Despite your better judgment, you’d indulge him, if not because so many others seemed to let him down. Nothing could come from it of course. And you wouldn’t use him, either. 

Eddie’s face split into a wide smile.

That’s how you wound up in your car, giggling as Eddie nearly hacked up an organ from the harsh bubbler you kept in a scooby doo themed lunchbox, under the passenger seat which Eddie was occupying.

“Jesus,” he croaked out, coughing into his elbow. 

“Feels like you burned a hole in the back of your neck, doesn’t it?”

Eddie nodded as he continued to cough, eyes watering. Once he’d managed to get it under control, he let out a sigh of relief. 

“How the hell do you hit that all the time?” He asked, passing you the small blue pipe.

You lit it again and took your own hit, coughing once you’d exhaled but not worse than Eddie had.

“I don’t,” you placed the bubbler in your cup holder and leaned against the driver’s door so you could face Eddie who was leaned all the way back, staring at you with happy looking red eyes, “It’s pretty harsh, so all that coughing gives a pretty intense and quick high. I’ll be good off of that for a couple of days. Also I have to give my throat some time to heal.”

Eddie laughed at your joke and you couldn’t help but think it was a pretty sound. “I’m more of a joint kind of guy, but pretty girls don’t offer me free drugs often, let alone smoke with me without getting so high they can’t function. Would’ve been stupid to say no.”

You tried to ignore the fluttering in your belly, you’d thought those butterflies had died out a while ago. And all he did was call you pretty. Pretty pathetic.

You may not not have been high enough to pass out like Eddie implied; however, you were high enough to feel brave.

“Is that what Lana did?”

Eddie looked momentarily shocked at your question, eyes rising to the ceiling of your car before he decided to answer your question.

“Uhm. Yeah. She—yeah. She was nice, sweet. Didn’t seem repulsed with me. Thought she just approached me for a deal, then she started flirting with me, I guess. Then, I thought we were a thing, but it turns out we weren’t. She actually was interested in just the deal.”

“Only, she didn't tell you that.” You finished for him, realizing despite having been wronged by her, Eddie wouldn’t paint her in a bad light, making it seem like it had been a misunderstanding. You’d heard the way Lana boasted. It hadn’t been a misunderstanding. “Did she lead you on, Eddie?”

“I don’t know. Maybe, I just did a lot of thinking. Not enough asking.” 

God, you wanted to punch Lana in the face. Eddie was so nice, he refused to admit that Lana—in that moment—had been a bad person. Blamed himself for thinking some girl was interested in him because she was intentionally flirting with him in order to gain something for her own selfish reasons.

“That’s how it works, Eddie. Leading someone on. They flirt, make you feel special, play coy or maybe make you think you’re worrying over nothing when you work up enough courage to question the slight gaslighting and affection-bombing—then they leave. ‘Cause they’ve taken what they wanted and you’ve got nothing left to offer. It’s not okay. She was wrong for that.”

Eddie was quiet, you could tell his mind wasn’t. When he did speak again, his voice was soft.

“But I flirt. A lot.”

You wanted to shake the victim blaming mentality right out of him, he was making another excuse for her! Or worse, he thought he was like her.

“Eddie, listen really carefully to what I’m about to say, okay?” You waited for his nod of understanding.

“There is a large difference between your flirty personality and leading someone on. You,” you lightly punched his shoulder, “flirt because you’re just a flirt. Lana, doesn’t. Lana singled you out, intentionally, with the hopes that making you think you two were more serious than just casually dating would get her free weed. When you intentionally single someone out with your flirting, it’s because you like them and you want more of them. Am I right?”

The weed in your system was why you were able to withstand the intensity of his gaze, almost burned more than the bubbler had.

“Yeah,” Eddie finally admitted, the side of his head leaning into the headrest as he shifted onto his side to face you, “You’re right.”

“You deserve better than that, Eddie. You deserve better than the rest of those girls, too.” He hadn’t mentioned the others and you hadn’t wanted to bring them up either, sensing his shame but you needed him to know. He couldn’t end up like you.

“Do you remember me?” He blurted out and you frowned.

“Yeah, we had English together last year.”

“No,” Eddie shook his head, “I mean from the party. Rick’s party.”

You froze, heart stopping. 

Eddie had that hopeful look on his face again as he tugged on a strand of his hair, nervous.

“You were Ghostface,” he prompted, as if it would trigger the memory you already recalled.

He knew it was you this whole time?

“How did you know it was me? Oh, fuck, please tell me I didn’t rant to you about my life while I was plastered. I’m so embarrassing.” 

You wanted to disappear until Eddie gave a nervous laugh, shaking his head again.

“No, no. Definitely didn’t do that. But uh, I saw you. With your mask off. While you were drinking. A lot.” He snickered at the memory of you throwing a shot glass back, then proceeding to refill it an almost concerning amount of times.

“Your voice is pretty distinct, too. You also meet your height requirements.”

“Oh.” You didn’t know what else to say, stunned that he’d even be able to recognize your voice. Up until the morning you’d woken up on that shitty couch (and the night before, apparently) you couldn’t remember ever actually speaking to Eddie. Still, somehow he’d heard you. That knowledge warmed the area in you where the butterflies had been fighting to survive all this time.

You weren’t stupid, you knew where Eddie was going with this. What his stare had meant when you reassured him he wasn’t like Lana.

Heather was right. Eddie Munson was hung up on you. You had to put an end to it.

Luckily, you were (in the most cliche of manners) saved by the bell when it rang, signaling the end of the lunch period.

You hurriedly got out of your car and Eddie scrambled out after you, hurriedly moving around to your side while you locked it.

“I gotta go,” was the poor excuse you gave him as you started to rush back to the main entrance of the school.

“Hey! Wait!”

“Eddie, please.” You whipped around to face, eyes pleading for him to understand. “I meant it when I said you deserved better than Lana and the other girls. You do. And you deserve better than me, too. I can’t give you what you want and I’m not gonna lead you on. So, we should just cut our losses now, before one of us gets hurt. Whatever you’re in, fall out of it. It was actually rather nice hanging out with you, and thank you for looking after me at Rick’s party, even though I can’t remember most of it. You’re a good guy and you’ll find a good girl. You will.”

You left him standing in the parking lot as you weaved through the cars, feeling an awful lot like you just cut off a limb that had miraculously been growing back. Tears were prickling in your eyes when you pushed through the doors and disappeared into the crowd of students. You didn’t feel the butterflies anymore.

And you didn’t notice Heather, crouched behind the school bus when you passed by it in your hurry to get as much distance between you and Eddie as you could.

She stood up once you’d gone in, looking remorseful over something she had no control of and watched as Eddie stood there, staring at the entrance like he hoped you’d be coming right back out. When he realized you wouldn’t be, he shoved his hands in his pocket and walked over to his van, sitting on the back bumper.

Heather waited until he couldn’t see before she snuck back into the school. She couldn’t miss the test in her last class, but she knew what she had to do after and she knew where she’d be able to find Eddie when school let out.

─

Eddie was drained. Mentally, emotionally and physically ‘cause he hadn’t eaten anything during lunch. He ditched the remainder of the school day, wallowing in the back of his van, despite the rapidly dying high he was nursing, he hadn’t been hungry. Still wasn’t. 

He figured he wouldn’t be regaining his appetite with a stomach already full of defeat.

Just when he finally thought things were looking up for him, life had to remind him that he wasn’t allowed to be completely happy. Had to have some sort of angst in his life, because apparently his mommy, daddy, background, academic, and financial issues weren’t enough.

He wasn’t allowed to have you, either.

A couple of weeks ago, that would have been fine with him. He hadn’t known you too well. You’d had some classes together over the years, though he only realized you were pretty in English class last year. Caught glimpses of you out of the corner of his eye every now and then, it was no big deal. Then, it was like he opened his eyes or something, because you were suddenly everywhere. 

Never center stage, always in the background amongst the crowd but always drawing his attention, like a moth to a flame. His locker was across from yours and a couple of lockers down so he was usually able to overhear your conversations with your friends. He figured loud mouthed, know-it-all Heather Holloway was your best friend since she was more often than not on the other end of those conversations. 

You were pretty fucking funny, witty, goofy and cool. He wouldn't have minded actually getting the chance to know you, maybe be friends. You even seemed like the type who would appreciate Hellfire, could offer to show you the ropes and extend an invitation.

He wasn’t ignorant enough to think he was infatuated with you or anything, didn’t even know you. He was just intrigued and he happened to play close attention to details.

It would have been a passing fancy, really, had it not been for Reefer Rick’s party. Eddie had gone under the guise that it was to strengthen his business relationship with the supplier, and not at all because a girl he was interested in would be in attendance.

Of course (because he’s Eddie) she’d gone, alright, and had been all over another guy. 

He hadn’t been too hurt by that one, they hadn’t held any meaningful conversations and she seemed pretty flighty.

Then he caught sight of you, one of the many Ghostfaces—the shortest of them all—and when he actually saw you take off the mask, the allure returned. You’d shown up in the background of his life again. 

Eddie had watched you (from a safe distance) get progressively more drunk and he was honestly pretty impressed with how much it took to get there. If he wasn’t gonna be getting the girl at the party, maybe he could gain a new acquaintance. With that, he’d approached you. Or rather, you plowed into him.

Heather had apologized for you as they both worked to steady you while you rambled out your own apologies a mile a minute.

“Hey—no harm done.”  Eddie held his hands out as if to showcase he was fine. Then he realized his own mask was in the way of his vision and yanked it off, though he had suspected you wouldn’t know who he was.

“Eddie!” You chirped, pointing a gloved finger in his direction like he didn’t know who he was. “I’ve seen you before!”

He raised his eyebrows, bewildered at your admission.

“You have?” He had to lean in closer to make sure you heard him.

“Yeah! We go to school together.”

Eddie barked out a laugh, eyes flittering to Heather as she slowly pulled away from the conversation, leaving just you and Eddie amongst the loud music and compacted bodies.

“I think we go to school with most of the people here, sweetheart.”

“Oh, yeah.” He watched as you glanced around before shrugging.

 “But I don’t know a whole lot of them. Like that girl,” You pointed at a girl dressed like Molly Ringwald. “Never seen her in my life.”

“That’s—actually, I don’t know her either,” Eddie squinted as he tried to recall her from somewhere but he’d never seen her before either. “Maybe she doesn’t go to Hawkins.”

“Freaking knew it.” 

Eddie laughs again, he knew you’d be funny.

“Are you Michael Myers?” You asked and Eddie smirked.

“No, I’m Eddie Munson.”

You didn’t appreciate the joke, pinching his shoulder through his coveralls.

“Ouch! Yes, okay! I’m Michael,” He rubbed the not-really sore spot, still smirking.

“Hot?”

“Michael? I mean, he’s not really my type, I have no idea what he’s working with under the mask but he’s─”

“No!” Now you were the one laughing and Eddie’s heart kind of ached (in a good) way at the sound. He knew what that meant. “The mask, silly. Is the mask hot?”

“Oh, yeah. Kind of feel like the man in the iron mask with it on.” Precisely why Eddie probably wouldn’t be putting it back on. “What about yours?”

“It’s pretty breathable actually,” Lucky, yours had a mouth space made of mesh, allowing for some pretty easy airflow. “And it keeps my face warm.”

Yeah, but that meant Eddie couldn’t see it and he really, really wanted to. Up close.

“Plus, I feel mysterious.” You said it like it was something devious.

“Yeah? You like that?” Eddie was amused with the entire thing because you actually were mysterious, with and without the costume. To him, at least.

“Yeah, I mean I can be anywhere without actually being anywhere because people would have no clue it’s me, makes sense?”

No, but Eddie knew what you were tipsily implying.

“I get it.” 

“Oh,” you bent over, reaching down into your black boot as you pulled out a pocket knife and flicked the blade out. “I have a knife.”

“Oh my god.” Eddie grabbed it from you tucking the blade back in before he returned it, nervously looking around to make sure no one had noticed. “As hot as that is, you can’t just bring a knife to a party.”

“No, you can’t bring a knife to a gunfight.” You giggled, swaying in place.

Eddie rolled his eyes with a fond chuckle, “Damn, you’re still wrong. Don’t bring a gun to a knife fight.”

“Tomatoes, potatoes.”

“Those are also two very different things.” Were you always this adorable? 

“It’s for my protection. So if anyone tries anything, I’ll have my knife and I can stab them. Defend myself.” You tucked the pocket knife back into your boot, leaving Eddie curious as to why you didn’t seem to have any pockets under that black gown.

“So what? You just showing off for me?”

Your head bobbed, if Eddie could somehow see through your damn mask, he would’ve been enamored with the shy look on your face.

“Yeah, I mean—you look like you ‘preciate knives.”

“Oh, because I’m scary?” He got that a lot, didn’t mind the reputation at first because it kept people from messing with him but it also kept the good people from interacting with him. Not that he cared or anything.

Because he didn’t. 

“No, because you seem really cool. Look it, too. All metal-y. Suits you”

Oh fuck. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. You were nice, too. He was done for. 

He didn’t know what to say, a ‘thank you’ didn’t sound genuine enough for his liking. 

“I think you’re cool, too.”

You laughed again, threw your head back with it and Eddie wanted so badly to tear that mask and hood off your head. Needed to just get a look at you while you smiled.

“You don’t even know who I am.” You stated once you’d calmed down.

Eddie pursed his lips. He knew exactly who you were, he was also picking up on some major signs that you didn’t want him to know who you were under that mask, having realized you hadn’t bothered introducing yourself though you apparently felt comfortable enough to address him.

“You want to play a game?” He asked instead, not willing to risk souring your mood.

You gasped, practically bouncing on the balls of your feet, “A game? I like games. What game?”

“It’s called, ‘Move a couple of things around so Rick thinks he’s going insane when he cleans up tomorrow’.”

“That sounds like a fun game. Let’s do it.”

You both proceed to make your way around the house, moving a couple of random objects.

You both hit his bedroom first (what kind of dumbass doesn’t lock it?), finding it thankfully unoccupied. It was shitty and small, but you both transferred everything to opposite sides, literally flipping the room. It took some work—Eddie moved the heavier of the objects and the bed was blocking Rick’s bathroom door but you were satisfied so the two of you moved onto the kitchen.

Heather came by to take you home in the middle of your planning for the area, but you insisted on staying with Eddie (he wanted to jump up and down, he was so happy and he’d promised to take care of you, something he’d planned on doing anyway but Heather was pretty fucking scary and had told him she’d hang him up like a scarecrow with his own intestines if anything happened to you).

There wasn’t much you could do with the space or the living room, given the amount of occupants, but you rearranged the inside of the fridge and bottom cabinets while Eddie tackled the drawers and top cabinets, making sure everything was where it wasn’t supposed to be.

After that, you headed outside. Then immediately went back inside when you realized how creepy the area looked.

The game and the alcohol took its toll on you and soon enough Eddie was watching over you as you curled up on the couch. He hadn’t immediately realized you fell asleep due to that goddamn mask, once he had, he’d kept everyone away from the couch. Didn’t even sleep. He only left you once to get some water and that had been when you chose to wake up. 

You’d sobered up, so he figured he could try his luck and you’d all but ran out of there when he started flirting with you. 

It stung but Eddie wasn’t ready to just give up yet. No, he couldn’t just lick his wounds and go home, he had to watch your every move the entire week after, look for dumb reasons to be in the same place as you (why the fuck did you hang out on the bleachers outside so much? It was fucking freezing) and trail after you like some pathetic dog. 

And you didn’t even throw him a bone. He’d seen you leave the cafeteria, sans Heather for once and tripped over himself in his haste to get to you.

Then you had to be completely wonderful, had offered to share your own weed with him and validated his feelings after constantly being used because he was stupid enough to trust girls who so much as smiled in his direction. 

He’d been stupid and hopeful enough to try his luck again and driven you away.

The mean girls didn’t want him, the nice girl didn’t want him, maybe he really was just destined to be on his own.

He had moved his wallowing to the bench in the woods behind the school (still had to work, regardless of how depressed he was) when Heather appeared, aggressively clearing her throat to announce her presence.

Eddie dropped his hand from his chin to deadpan in her direction, “You here to kick my ass?”

“No, I’m not here to kick your ass. I’m here to help you, Munson. She’ll kick my ass for telling you this, but I can see it’s different with you. It could be, so, listen up and listen good. Do you know Duncan Carson?”

—

You were getting ready for bed, having scrubbed your face clean of makeup and slipped into your pajamas (consisting of your christmas onesie from last year, a family tradition, since it was pretty chilly and your mom liked to freeze the entire house) when the sound of something hitting your bedroom window made you jump. You assumed some dumbass bird barreled into again until it happened once more. As you got up from your bed, slowly approaching the window, you could see a small object hit the glass. A pebble.

What the hell?You yanked the window open, barely managing to dodge the next pebble thrown at it. It knocked a glass on your dresser over instead.

“Oh, shit! My bad–did I hit you?” You leaned out the window pane to see Eddie standing outside, in your yard. He gave you a timid grin, quickly tossing the pebbles he collected out of his grasp.

“Eddie, what the hell are you doing here? How do you even know where I live–are you stalking me?” You didn’t bother answering his initial question.

He glared up at you, arms crossing at your implication. “No, I’m not stalking you! Can you please come down? I-I can’t climb up there. I tried.” It was only then that you noticed your neighbor's rose bush, which extended just below the low roof of your garage, had been trampled. “What do you want?”

Eddie groaned, “I’ll tell you when you come down here!” “That sounds like something a stalker would say to lure me out of my house.” “Oh my god, look–you’re really cute but I’m gonna need you to stop being a jerk and come talk to me. Please?” Your mouth dropped open and you knew you were doing exactly what he wanted when you yanked on your shoes and stormed out of your room (quietly tiptoeing down the stairs to not alert your parents). “What are you doing here and how did you know where I live?” You demanded the moment the front door closed behind you. Eddie had moved to stand directly on your porch so you had to usher him back a little to create some space between the two of you. “Heather gave me your address,” He rushed out, wanting to focus on why he actually came. “Why can’t we be together?” Heather? Heather?! You were going to kill her. Ring her little neck. “Just because she gave you my address doesn’t mean you show up in the middle of the night─”

“It’s 7:30, cute jammies, by the way.”

“—and demand I come speak to you! I already told you, I can’t give you what you want. You’re better off.”

“What about you?”

“What?”

“I said,” Eddie stepped closer, forcing you to take a step back, “what about you?”

You stuttered to find words, mouth open and closing as you started your sentence but were too dumbfounded by his question.

“Don’t you deserve better?” Eddie prompted, his voice gentle and gaze unwavering. “You do. You deserve better. Better than Duncan The Asshole Carson.”

Your eyes squeezed shut at the mention of your ex-something, trying to force the memories away. 

Fucking Heather.

Of course she didn't just give Eddie your address. She’d told him all about Duncan. A football player in your graduating class that had befriended you last spring. Unlike most of his teammates, he wasn’t a complete dick. He was funny, charming, sweet and things turned romantic. He’d hold your hand, kiss you, take you on dates and he’d even attended your powderpuff game toward the end of the school year. Life was bliss.

Until he asked you if you thought Heather would be interested in him. Your best fucking friend.

You’d been horrified and outraged that he’d even ask you that and he quickly got upset with you, arguing that the two of you hadn’t been in a relationship. You were just having fun. 

He hadn’t been interested in you, not genuinely. He’d been interested in the attention you gave him. All those months, all those moments. All fake and tainted. He’d used you to feel important, better about himself. And when he finally felt he was big enough, he’d dropped you. Let you fall.

You’d slapped the ego right out of him and ran off to some field outside of Hawkins. The dolt was stupid enough to try and approach Heather the same night. She’d also slapped the crap out of him and drove around town until she found you, crying your heart out in the middle of nowhere. Initially, she’d feared you’d be mad at her but you reassured her she wasn’t to blame. You were, for being stupid enough to fall in love. Heather tried to comfort you and convince you otherwise but you wouldn’t hear it.

You spent the entire summer broken and you thought you’d healed since, having promised to not put yourself in a situation where you could get hurt like that again, but here you were, the cracks in your heart still very much so apparent. 

“I’ll be fine on my own.” You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to meet his eyes even though you could see through the tears lining your own. You wouldn’t back down. Couldn’t. Not again. 

“Goodnight,” You turned to go back into your house when Eddie darted forward, grasping your wrist to keep you from leaving.

You glanced down at his hand then back up at him, sucking in a breath at the desperate glint in his eyes, brows pinched together in despair.

“The thing is, I can’t.” Eddie bit his lip, and you noticed the shine over his own eyes. “I can’t let you go. I could do it with the others, with Lana. I knew not to chase after them when they left. But I know I’ll regret it if I don’t chase you.

“You deserve someone who makes you feel special, someone who’d run across the school to get to your classes in time to walk you to the next, someone who will hold your hand and your backpack. Someone who wants to kiss you really, really badly. Like all the time. A-And hold you. Someone who wishes they’d talked to you a long time ago, could’ve kept a lot of heartache from happening. Someone who will help you rearrange another person’s house to prank them whenever you want. You said I deserve better than you but you’re wrong. You’re exactly what I deserve and I want to be what you deserve. I want to do it all, and only with you.”

“God, Eddie,” you wiped at the tears escaping your eyes with a sniffle, “Can you just stop? Stop saying nice things!”

“No. Never.” He used his hold on you to pull you closer and you didn’t fight him, didn’t push him away when his hands slipped to rest on your sides.

“What if this doesn’t work out? What if we get hurt?” You asked as Eddie leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours.

“I’m not stalker-ish enough to say I love you just yet, but I’m pretty sure I’m starting to, which means I’m probably gonna be the one that gets hurt. I’m willing to risk it if it means I get to have you, for even a little bit.”

You barely had to angle your head to kiss him. Eddie moved a hand to the side of your neck as his lips moved softly against yours, rings cool against your skin. He pulled away, just to get a glimpse of your reaction. When he saw no hesitancy, no traces of doubt in your eyes he leaned in for another taste, mouth pressing eagerly against yours. Your tongue licked at the seam of his lips and they parted for you, tongues finally meeting. 

Eddie pulled you flush up against him as you made out under the hazy glow of your porch light. The butterflies in your stomach had been revived, every single one of them was a flutter and all you could feel was bliss as the cracks in your heart faded away. 

Eddie pulled away again, panting out, “I just gotta make sure, does this mean you’re my girlfriend? Do you want me to ask? I can—fuck, no, you deserve to be asked.” 

Then he got down on one knee and you covered your eyes, grinning despite the slight embarrassment coursing through you. It was a good kind of embarrassing. The best.

“Will you be my girlfriend? Like exclusively, as in you can only do this mushy shit with me.”

“You’re so romantic,” you laughed out, still sniffling, “yes, I would love to be your girlfriend.”

Eddie cheered, leaping back to his feet. His arms wrapped around your waist as he hoisted you into the air and spun you around. You clung to him, squealing in surprise. Your shared laughter echoed down the street before it was once more silent as you kissed him.

The next day when you pulled into the school parking lot, Eddie was waiting for you, leaning up against his van.

He practically bounded over to you, pulling your lavender backpack out of your grasp, before you could stop him he’d slipped his arm through the strap and slung it onto his back, the other hand outstretched to you.

“Ready?”

You slipped your hand into his and used it to yank him closer to you. He made a sound of surprise but smirked when you pulled him down for a hungry kiss in the crowded parking lot.

It definitely caught some attention, you both smiled against each other’s lips when you heard Heather whoop in the background.

“YEAH, GET IT! GO MUNSON!”

Eddie laughed when you pulled away, giving Heather a thumbs up before he intertwined your fingers and led you into the school, flipping off a stupefied Duncan Carson on the way and you gave Lana a look as you passed her locker, happy she’d fucked up with Eddie so he was yours for the taking. You planned on keeping him.

[imgonnaragnorockurshit]

Annihilation Day: Chapter 6

Chapter warnings: 18+ minors DNI, language, canon-typical violence, like lots of violence, minor suicidal ideation at the beginning (super minor but if that kind of thing upsets you please do not read)

a/n: WOOO HOWDY FOLKS im so stoked to be back my god, I wrote this chapter little by little over the past couple months while I was doing my field course and moving and its finally here!!!! I deviated from the canon like SUPER minor in this, but it works really well with the story so honestly I’m really happy with how I MacGyvered it.

word count: 3.5k

Series masterlist

The feeling of a cold needle against her marred skin was something Helena had grown accustomed to. No longer did she feel the instinct to flinch, the pain a distant thing. Maybe it was frequency of which she found herself in pain, or maybe it was the drugs they pumped through her to keep her complacent, or maybe it was just her brain’s way of protecting her, forcing her body to go on auto pilot, numbing the pain, in a futile effort to keep her sane. Whatever the reason was, she sat unmoving in the same sterile, sickening room that she’d sat in a million times before, unmoving as a silent stranger, in a mask that covered their face, sewed up the fresh wound in her shoulder.

She thinks she was shot, but she can’t quite remember. Scars beneath scars, all with stories and origins she just can’t recall. The fact would make her upset if she could dwell on it long enough to let the feeling fester, but such a thing wasn’t possible in such a place.

And so, she sat, age 16, in a cold, empty, void of a room, awaiting her next assignment. Another suicide mission to add to her track record. Another suicide mission that the quiet, buried piece of herself that was still awake and alive deep inside her brain, prayed she wouldn’t come back from this time.

But she always made it back. She was too good for that.

In the first several months of digging up dirt on James Wesley, Helena had come up completely dry. It would’ve been discouraging if it wasn’t for the fact that she knew, better than anyone, that someone with no record of them online was almost always hiding something.

But in the last couple weeks she’d hit the jackpot. Hush money, shell companies, mercenary hires, dirty cops on a payroll, you name it, he was involved in it somehow. She’d even found references to Union Allied, which she’d remembered from her many conversations with Karen about the topic. The thought that this man was even minorly responsible for the harm of her friend only served to spur her on further. And so, she kept digging, kept documenting, until after almost a week of not leaving her apartment, she hit a firewall.

“Oh fuck!” she yelled quietly, going offline as quickly as possible. She sat frozen for a few more seconds, maybe she was fast enough? While she doubted the sentiment highly, she knew it wouldn’t help her to dwell on it. So, Helena did what she did best, she planned for the worst.

She put everything she’d found onto a flash drive, before booking it out the door to Nelson & Murdock, not even bothering to give the office a call, knowing better than to broadcast her plan over the phone lines. If what they were dealing with was as bad as she thought it was, they all would have to be extremely careful if they were to continue.

She made it to their office in record time, flying up the staircase and swinging their front door open. Foggy and Karen looked up at her bewildered from where they stood at Karen’s desk. Matt was quick to follow, rushing out of his office, having heard her racing heartbeat and heavy breathing from running there.

“Whoa, speedy Gonzalez where’s the fire?” Foggy joked, but Matt knew better, he could practically taste the anxiety as it rolled off of Helena, each wave hitting him square in the chest every time she took a breath.

“Helena, what’s going on?” Matt asked as he slowly approached her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder as she willed her breathing to return to a normal, less concerning pace.

“I found something,” she started taking another deep breath and holding up the flash drive “I found a lot of somethings on James Wesley, and trust me, I think this is just the tip of the ice burg.” She extended her hand to Karen so she could take a crack at what was locked inside, before she quickly snapped her hand back at the last second, collecting her thoughts.

“Helena?” Karen questioned curiously.

“If I give this to you, you need to promise me, you all need to promise me that you will be extremely careful if you want to pursue this. And I mean more careful than careful. If you think you’re being the most careful, be even more careful.” Matt listened to the shaky inhale that she took, “I cannot be responsible for any of you getting hurt, I just can’t so please, just don’t do anything stupid.” She begged. There was a beat of silence before the hand that Matt had placed on her shoulder began to softly rub at her muscles, which had tensed up almost painfully.

“Yeah of course, we promise Helena.” Karen assured her, gently taking the flash drive from her hand. “What exactly did you find?” she asked hesitantly.

Helena sighed, absentmindedly leaning into Matt’s touch a little more “My money’s on crime boss, but whatever it is, trust me when I say it is bad.” It was a tone that Matt hadn’t heard from her before, she was scared. Scared for them, scared for him.

“Hey we’ll be careful, don’t worry.” He soothed her quietly as she felt the tension start to dissipate, she took a deep breath in and a deep breath out, nodding.

“Yeah, don’t worry Helena, Nelson and Murdock attorneys at law are on the case!” Foggy cheered, attempting, and succeeding, to get a smile out of her. “Now enough doom and gloom! Pull up a seat I was just about to make a pot of coffee.”

The next day Helena found herself hovering around the Nelson & Murdock office and then later the courthouse as the legal trio prepped for John Healy’s case. She was keeping herself around under the thinly veiled excuse of moral support, but really, she’d been so anxious that morning when she woke up that she simply couldn’t stand to stay home.

Hours had passed as she sat outside the courtroom, her knee bouncing up and down, absentmindedly picking at the sleeve of her jacket. The door to the courtroom swung open, causing her head to snap up towards the sound. She stood as people flooded out of the chamber, waiting for her friends. The relief she felt as she caught a glimpse of Matt’s familiar red lenses dissipated almost immediately when she took in his expression that lay beneath them. His jaw was set, his eyebrows furrowed, he looked angry, furious even. He moved like a bloodhound on the hunt, with a clear target in mind, his cane barely grazing the floor as he weaved between the people in the hall.

“Matt?” Helena called to him, if he’d heard her, which he did, he’d made no show of it, still set on his mission at hand. Helena made the move to follow after him, before Foggy’s voice reached her ears.

“Jesus, what’s wrong with him?” She turned to him with a raised eyebrow, “What happened in there?”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you.” Foggy sighed, running a tired hand through his hair. “Everything was fine and then he just went AWOL I don’t know what set him off.” He checked his watch “Shit we need to get back to the office, we’re supposed to meet with a new client.” Foggy said as he swung his head around, trying to track down his friend.

“Don’t worry about it, you guys go back to the office for your meeting, I’ll track him down, okay?” Helena soothed resting a hand on his shoulder.

“Really? Thank you Hel, you’re a lifesaver.” Foggy breathed out in relief, pulling the woman into a hug before scurrying off with Karen hot on his tail. Once the pair was out of sight, Helena turned on her heal and began walking down the hallway that she’d seen Matt bolt down. By the time she’d made it to the end of the hallway, there was no sight of Matt and nowhere to go except the metal door that led to the alley behind the courthouse.

She pulled the door open without hesitation, stepping out into the crisp winter air. Just as she let the door close and turn into the alley, she collided with a hard block of something, a hard block of Matt. The wind was knocked out of her as she felt his hand grip her waist.

“Helena?” he questioned, his breathing still erratic and his voice still strained with anxiety. “What are you doing out here? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” he rambled as his breath got minorly less harsh. His other hand raised to smooth over the side of her head, coming to a rest at the side of her neck over her hair.

“No, no Matty I’m fine, I was just looking for you. What’s going on?” she attempted to sooth, but it seemed that the question only seemed to stir him back up.

“It’s the jurors. They- Someone’s blackmailing them. I- I don’t know who or why, but-,“ his breathing picked up again, as his lips flattened into a straight line and his eyebrows furrowed together.

“Hey hey hey. It’s okay we’ll figure this out, let’s go back to the office, okay? Foggy and Karen are worried about you.” She took one of his hands in hers, tangling their fingers together as she slowly pulled him towards to the street. His pace picked up slightly as he nodded along with her words, his fingers tightening around hers as they walked back to Nelson & Murdock.

The next few days went by in a blur of unfortunate events. First, Wesley had shown up to the courthouse, and spared Helena a look that made her want to crawl out of her skin. Then that trial went to the shit hole, hung jury, Healy going free. And before that problem could be resolved, the same man was found dead the next morning, impaled. She’d barely seen Matt at all, neither had Karen or Foggy. It was a strange and unnerving few days and Helena had barely left her apartment.

Matt on the other hand, had been busy.

He’d been running around in his devil suit for the past three full nights, and hiding away in his apartment to hide his injuries. But Healy had given him a name, just before he killed himself. And with that name, Matt was virtually unstoppable, and he couldn’t take off the mask until this man, Wilson Fisk, was behind bars.

Which is how he found himself here, tailing the Ranskahov brothers in hopes of finding any kind of answers. After his first attempt at getting to the brothers failed, they’d been fairly tricky to keep track of. But every failed attempt only stoked the fire inside Matt’s chest more, to the point where he couldn’t sleep until this matter was resolved, no matter how deep it went. He knew that his friends would scold him for the thought, but they weren’t here right now.

And so, perched on the roof of Metro General Hospital, he caught whiff of another battle to fight that sent him, once again, reeling.

He could hear the brothers talking to Semyon, the man Matt had, regrettably, thrown off of Claire Temple’s roof. He sat, perched on the roof, head tilted to listen, when Anatoly’s phone began to ring. He could hear the man take a few steps to the side, before pressing to accept the call.

The words passing through the cell phone’s speaker are too muddled for Matt to make out, but he can understand the jist when Anatoly hangs up the call and turns back to his brother.

“We have an address for the woman, let’s finish this.” The Russian’s words made Matt’s stomach drop.

Claire.

How did they get her new address?

How did they know she was with him on the roof that night?

Before he had the time to answer any of these questions, he took off across Hell’s Kitchen, bounding across rooftops to ensure his friend was safe.

It took him 20 minutes to get to the apartment Claire was staying in, and he was in a fury, certain that the Russian’s had beaten him and that he had failed. But as he rushed to her fire escape and pounded on the window, he was more relieved than confused when she opened it, agitation clear across her tired features.

“Mike? What the hell? It’s the middle of the night, I have a shift tomorrow.” She questioned, rubbing her face as he slid past her, into the apartment.

He didn’t answer her right away, electing instead to stalk around the perimeter of the apartment, listening intently for voices in the stair well and movement in the hallway. When he found none, he turned back to Claire, standing expectantly in the middle of the living room, arms folded across her chest.

“Can you tell me what the hell is going on?” She speaks again, more awake now.

Matt shakes his head lightly, breathing starting to even back out now that Claire was safe in front of him. “I-” he started, clearing his throat, “I don’t understand, I thought they were coming for you.” He spoke, like she knew what he was talking about.

“What? Who’s coming after me?” Her voice raised minutely in volume as she stepped in front of him.

“The Russians,” He hissed, “I was tailing them, they had your address, I thought they’d be here by now.” He began to pace back and forth across the room.

“Wait hold on.” Claire exclaimed waving her hands in front of her face, “No one knows I’m here; I haven’t left this apartment in a week, I took a sick leave just like you said. There is no way anyone knows I’m here.” Matt’s confusion only deepened.

“I don’t hear anyone in the building.” He admitted softly.

“Because no one’s here, Mike, I appreciate your concern, but can I get back to sleep now?” She pleaded, exhaustion returning to her voice as she rubbed her eyes again.

“This doesn’t make any sense.” He ignored her.

“What doesn’t?” she asked, exasperated.

“If they aren’t coming for you,” he asked, turning back to face her, “then who are they coming for?”

Helena sat in the silence of her living room. It was late, and she knew she should probably get to sleep, but the nagging anxiety that had been electrifying through her entire body for the past several days had kept her from rest.

Perhaps this was why, when there was a minuscule creak outside her front door, she’d heard it almost instantly. She silently rose to her feet, scanning the room for something to defend herself with. Even after all this time, she could still pick out a weapon in every room of every home she had ever been in.

Better safe than sorry.

In the interest of at least attempting to lead a normal life in Hell’s Kitchen, her more obvious weapons were tucked away, and certainly not within easy access to her right now. Her eyes landed on her kitchen knives, debating if this was going to turn into a knife to a gunfight kind of situation, one she’d like to avoid.

The movement outside her front door continued and she knew her time was running out, she had to make a decision now. So, she opted for the object next to her kitchen knives, a cast iron skillet. She crept silently towards her door, careful to flank up the sides so the intruder wouldn’t see the shadows of her feet.

As she braced herself by the door frame, she gripped the skillet with both her hands, bringing it to sit in a defense position, ready to be swung. If she was lucky, she’d be able to break a knee, or at least startle someone enough to get the upper hand.

Click

She froze, she stopped breathing as the lock had been picked. She strengthened her grip on the handle as the door opened slowly, the light from the hallway spilling into the inky darkness of her apartment.

She waited a beat, only striking when she saw the clear barrel of a gun poke through the barrier first. This was not a friendly visit. She struck without hesitation, crashing the large metal object into the intruder’s legs, aiming for a joint.

The man howled out in pain, somehow keeping the grip on his gun until Helena jumped and kicked it out of his hand. As he looked up at her in rage, she took note that she didn’t recognize this man at all, but he certainly seemed to know her, and was very hell bent on killing her. He stood on, what Helena hoped, was a broken knee, and charged at her. She held up her arms to defend her torso, using the man’s momentum against him as she flipped him over onto the floor.

A sound similar to a growl left his throat as he reached out and grabbed a hold of her foot, yanking her off balance. As she tumbled to the floor, he scrambled for his gun. But Helena was quicker. Locking his arms between her legs, she kicked the gun out of reach, twisting her body so she could punch him in the jaw and, if she needed to, break him arms with the weight of herself.

“Who the fuck are you?” she hissed angrily.

Before she got an answer, the man curled up, using one of his legs to come up and wrap around her chest, throwing it back, forcing her off of him. They two scrambled to their feet, before rushing to each other in a haze of quick and skilled hand to hand combat. She almost couldn’t keep track; everything was moving so fast. All she knew was they were both covered in both their blood, and this man was trying to kill her.

She was only knocked off her rhythm when the intruder caught a hold of her arm and pulled. A sickening pop sounded through her skull, and she let out a pained cry. She got a couple good hits to his bad knee and face before he shoved her head into the wall, knocking an array of photos down with the force. Dazed by the pain in her skull, she brought her foot up and kicked him between his legs.

His face screwed up in pain as he hissed through his teeth, but he kept his hold on her, shoving her back into the wall again before bracketing his forearm across her neck as she continued to struggle. But then all she could feel was a deep and blinding pain. The next few moments moved by in slow motion, as she could feel her mouth open in a silent cry of excruciating pain. Suddenly the man’s arm was gone, allowing her chin to drop to her chest and her eyes to catch the reason for her sudden agony.

She felt lightheaded as her gaze met the six-inch bowie knife that was currently buried into her torso. Her eyes struggled to meet the gaze of the man in front of her, his eyes cold and furious as he twisted to knife further, resulting in her strangled scream.

He got in her face and sneered, “Fucking bitch, you better be worth this trouble.” She was too out of it to recognize it as her mother tongue, instead opting to focus of keeping conscious. Before she knew what was happening next, the intruder pulled the knife from her torso at the sound of the hallway doors opening, resulting in another grimace from Helena as she sunk to the floor, leaving her blood on the wall. She watched through blurry vision as the man grabbed his gun and left through her fire escape in a hurry, leaving her in a bloody pile on her living room floor.

After what felt like hours, but was only seconds, the lights in her apartment flicked on as multiple figures crouched down in front of her. Their voices were distant, but she could hear the concern and fear in them. Faint crying pierced through the ringing in her ears as she focused on the face in front of her. Her eyes met those of a terrified Mrs. Sánchez, her eyebrows furrowed with worry and eyes spilling over with tears. Helena struggled to reach for the old woman’s hand, in a futile effort to convince her that she was okay. But even she wasn’t convinced as she found her fingers weak and hard to pilot as they wrapped around her neighbor’s. She could hear sirens and yelling and sobbing as she fought to keep her eyes open.

But as she let her eyelids fall, losing consciousness, her thoughts wandered to her friends, hoping and pleading that they were not in the same position as her right now.

 a/n: LOL AMMIRGHT, shit is picking UP how are we feeling??? I’m feeling yearning >:)

Hot person taglist: @freshabogados @elgrandeavocados @angelsfilth @moonlarking ​

Comment or dm me if you want to be added!!!

[kingsuckjin]

Golden- JJK

💛 Pairing: (almost entirely)Jungkook x reader, (basically none)Seokjin x reader

💛 Rating: 18+

💛 Genre: friends to lovers but like fluffy but also like very sad.

💛 Summary: After see your boyfriend Jin cheating on you at a bar and realizing your shared friends have been working together to hide it from you, you storm off into the parking lot to cry. Jungkook sees you out there and tells you the truth about everything, or what he wants you to believe is the truth.

💛 Words: almost 16k

💛 Warnings: CHEATING!!! “only one-bed” cliché but I love it, drinking, oral sex(m&f), protected sex and unprotected sex, dirty talk, overestimation, vaginal fingering, love kink?, too much smut, uhhh Jungkook is a bit of a stalker.

💛 Note: listen, I just wanted an excuse to write a gratuitous amount of Jungkook fluff and smut and I also love hurting. I thought I should throw in, these two characters are not actually in love, there are reasons it moves so fast, but it's not love.

❤ also a very big thank you to @btsaudge​ who beta read this whole thing for me, she’s not only a god tier beta reader but a god tier writer too ❤

“Where are you?” Jin was supposed to be home an hour ago. He had been doing this off and on for the past few months. You’d be lying if you hadn't wondered if things were beginning to fall apart later. You knew Jin would never do anything he wasn’t supposed to, especially not with the other guys there. You knew he was probably just having fun and part of you felt awful for wanting to keep tabs on him, you didn’t want to ruin his time by pestering him the whole time.

You paced as you waited for a reply but none came.

“Is Jin okay?” You sent to Namjoon now and he replied pretty quickly.

“Yeah, I’ve got an eye on him. We’re just over here at Gold’s bar telling old stories.” 

“Thank you.” You replied. You knew Jin could be a handful after having too many drinks but entrusted them with him.

You tried to sit back down and open your laptop up only to just blankly gaze at the screen. You were bored. Writer's block had hit you hard and you just didn’t feel like writing right now. You missed Jin tonight. You thought about the trip you had saved up for with the money from your last book. Sleepless hours were poured into making that book special all because you and Jin had shared a dream of vacationing in Hawaii together. All of your money went to it, every cent besides the shared rent, you wanted to surprise him and you just couldn’t find the right time to do it. He was a lawyer, not the best yet, so he had many sleepless hours too. You both deserved this trip.

You wondered for a moment if you dressed up and showed up if it would make him happy, especially if you finally told him about the trip tonight. You figured if you waited until he got home he would just pass right out and you wouldn’t get the chance. Again, you didn’t want to bother him with his friends, but then again he had spent many nights with them drinking and you were sure there were more to come, one night of you showing up couldn’t hurt.

You closed your laptop and went to your closet to find the black dress he loved so much on you, you only got it out for special occasions, and one of these days you planned on wearing it when he proposed. You knew him proposing was coming, he had been talking about it here and there lately “After we’re married…” or “when I make you my wife…” this was how life was supposed to go and you thought you couldn’t have picked a more relaxed person to share life with and you did your best to match his laid back attitude.

You got an Uber to Gold’s bar, it wasn’t a long ride, just long enough to make you further worry about ruining his time tonight. 

The first person you saw was Taehyung sitting at the bar with a pretty lady, obviously flirting like the ladies man he was. 

You tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned he seemed surprised to see you for a moment.

“Where’s Jin?” You asked over the music that was playing slightly too loud and it just wasn’t your taste in music anyway.

“I saw him over there.” He pointed to a corner of the building, and you saw him alright. You saw past the people and even passed the girl pressed into him, both leaned on the wall. 

“What are you doing here?” Came another voice.

You looked away from the scene and at Yoongi. Your eyes felt wide and your mouth fluttered open and closed. You didn’t know what to say or to think, or what was happening. Were you tired? Were you seeing things? Had your sweet and kind boyfriend just been making out with another woman with all of his and your friends here to witness it? You were confused? Did they all know something you didn’t?

You turned back around, afraid you would see the scene again, but you didn’t. There was no one against the wall. The place was dim, maybe you had just thought it was Jin.

“Want a drink?” Yoongi offered.

All you could do was just nod. 

Your eyes kept scanning the faces of people to find Jin, you were so lost and set on finding him that you were surprised to see the shot in front of your face Yoongi had gotten for you. You took it, you had no idea what it was even as it burned your throat.

“Looking for Jin huh?” Yoongi asked and sat down at one of the stools at the bar before patting the seat next to him.

“Well he’ll find us, I think he’s around here with Namjoon somewhere, might’ve gone to throw up.” 

“Yeah.” You replied but still felt nervous. Another shot was brought to both you and Yoongi.

“Was-was he pretty drunk when you saw him last?” You asked.

“He always gets pretty plastered, you know that.” 

“Sweetie!!!!” It was his voice.

You turned in the stool to see a smiling Jin coming in your direction, arms stretched wide. “What are you doing here?” He seemed happy and pretty drunk and he leaned over, wrapped his arms around you, and placed his cheek on your head. 

You felt relieved he wasn’t upset you were there.

“I’ve missed you all night.” He kissed the top of your head.

“God, you’re loud when you’re drunk,” Yoongi muttered to him.

When he released your smile that had grown from his embrace and hug faltered.

There was red lipstick on his neck.

“Jin what happened?” You asked, your hands had become sweaty as the scene you had witnessed earlier flashed through your mind.

“What do you mean?” He still wore a big smile.

“Jin, you have lipstick-“ you couldn’t finish your sentence. You turned to Yoongi just to make sure you weren’t going crazy and he had turned back away to face the bar.

You could feel your pulse thud hard as your brain further tried to rationalize it but to no avail. He must’ve caught on because he wiped at the place on his neck where your gaze was fixed. Your eyes flickered back to his nervous-looking brown eyes that were always so full of joy and laughter, the ones that always felt like home to you. Everything about this situation felt so wrong like a nightmare, you felt sick. This couldn’t be your Jin, it wasn’t your Jin, it was some strange cold stranger pretending to be him, but the more you looked at him the more you realized you were wrong. You felt tears well in your eyes and knew your strong front was beginning to dissolve and break apart like paper in water. 

That was it.

You took off for the door, you looked back and saw Jin trying to stumble after you, but Taehyung had stopped him.

You were left in tears in the parking lot, you felt your phone go off in your hand but your brain was in too much of an anger and hurt haze to care. You were looking for a place to break down, anywhere, but you sure as hell weren’t planning on going back in there. Your whole relationship with Jin was flashing through your mind and it felt like your heart had been burned, burned with the image of him and someone else the way her lipstick has been burned onto his neck.

You began to sob as you walked around parked cars. You were caring less and less who saw you break down. You felt so alone and exposed especially when a man sitting on the hood of his car began to stare.

“Y/n?” The voice questioned. Through your tear-blurred vision, you could see the screen of his phone light up his shocked-looking face.

Jungkook.

“How’d you get here so fast? I just-“ he stood from his seat on his car hood.

“Seokjin cheated on me.” You sobbed in the ugliest crying voice you had ever heard come from yourself.

Your fists grabbed the material of his jacket and you hurried your face in its collar.

His hands went to the middle of your back and hugged you silently for a moment. It just felt so good to have someone comfort you when everyone else seemed not to care or ignore you altogether. Even if it was awkward Jungkook.

You recalled the time where he once showed up at your University and just wanted to hang out for seemingly no reason. The whole two hours he was with you, he stayed silent. You thought he had wanted to visit you because you were friends but it left you wondering if he was ju9st trying to kill time or something. You also remember Jin not being too happy about it when you told him, maybe Jin wasn't too understanding back then.

“He was kissing someone else and I-I-“ you trailed off into a series of gaspy hiccups.

“I know.” He sighed.

“What?” You took a step back but still didn’t release him.

“Your phone. Check your phone.” He instructed.

You unlocked it to see a lengthy text from him. It was hard to read it and stay focused, you were shivering out of school or the chill in the air from this dress. You skimmed it but you shook worse the more you stood there. Attached were two pictures of Jin and the woman kissing in the same way and position that you had seen them.

You looked up at Jungkook with tears streaming down your cheeks, your lip quivered, your body shivered and he looked down at you with sorrow knitted into his furrowed brows.

“I’m sorry. They had always told me not to say anything, that it wasn’t my business, that I’d make you both unhappy if I-“ 

Your teeth were still chattering as you looked up at him.

He took his coat off silently before draping it around your shoulders. You fed your arms through the armholes that were way too big on you.

“Come on, let’s get you… let’s get you warm.” He went around to the passenger’s side and opened his car door. You didn’t resist, at least you could break down somewhere private.

You held your head in your hands as you sobbed over the sound of the engine and heat warming the car. He sat there quietly, not saying anything at all, but you didn’t blame him for it, he had always been awkward with people, especially you, but at least he seemed to care more than anyone else tonight.

You cried until only your hiccups remained. Your head rested against the headrest as you looked out the windshield at the night sky, it was starless.

“You- you uh wouldn’t want to go home would you.” It was a statement, he knew you wouldn’t. “Is there- somewhere I can take you? You could come with me… if you want.” 

“I don’t know, I don’t know if I want to be anywhere, but I can’t go home.” You stated knowing you weren’t making complete sense.

“We don’t have to go to my house just yet, we can do anything you want… but I do understand if you want to be somewhere where you can just be sad.”

“I don’t want to be sad.” You sniffled once more and wiped at your face “I don’t want to be anywhere sad. I wanted to have fun…”

“I know somewhere we can have fun.” 

Before you could answer he was pulling out of the parking lot.

It was quiet for a while as you just looked out the window.

“I know what it’s like you know.”

You turned to look at his face as he drove, lights every so often passing over his face.

“You’ve been cheated on too.” It wasn’t a question so much as a sad statement that came from your mouth. 

“That’s what made me want you to know so badly. It tore my heart out and sometimes I wish …I never would’ve found out, it hurt. I know it hurts.”

“I’m so sorry Jungkook.” You whispered. Sometimes he was weird, but you knew he had always had a good heart. 

“Sometimes things like that just happen, it doesn’t make it hurt less, but it does help to know you’re not alone… that and getting shit-faced.” He joked making you let out an amused puff of breath as you felt yourself smile just a little.

“Are we going somewhere with alcohol?” You asked.

“Of course. It’s on the house tonight.”

“You’re a good one Jungkook.” You replied.

You looked up at the big neon bowling ball and pins at the top of the building as you sat in the parked car.

“Bowling?” You asked and looked down at your dress. He was such a weird person.

“Just trust me.” 

So you did trust him, after all, it was better than being at home alone or worse, at home with Jin.

When you walked into the bowling alley it was dark, but there were laser lights and strobes and glowing lights and music played loudly but not as near as deafening as it did at the bar. It seemed like you were the only two here, besides one older guy playing alone at the very end lane.

You took a seat at a table at the opposite end and simply just waited, but the more you were alone with your thoughts the more what happened played through your mind. 

How long had Jin been cheating on you? Had he knowingly been cheating on you while talking about you being his wife someday?

You felt tears sting your eyes again, it was harder to hold them back this time.

Jungkook came back with an entire pitcher of beer and a plastic cup he sat on the table before he looked at you.

You tried to shield your crying eyes. You felt stupid crying at a bowling alley you weren’t even bowling at.

You heard the sounds of him pouring beer into the cup and you heard the cup scoot across the table.

You put your hand down, picked up the cup, and downed it.

“I know it’s hard not to think about, and I know it hurts. You shouldn’t be so embarrassed about crying.” Somehow he was able to read you “we’re pretty much the only ones here.” 

“I know, it just feels so strange crying in such an open place. I’m glad I’m here though.” 

He looked to be thinking about your words for a moment before ducking down in the seat and disappearing under the table.

“Come here,” he asked from under the table as you poured more beer in the plastic cup.

You followed him down under the table miraculously without spilling your drink.

He gave you the biggest, sweetest toothy smile and you couldn’t help but return it. You felt like a child playing hide and seek. 

He began to sing along to September by Earth Wind and Fire that played throughout the bowling alley, even physically reenacting the words just to make you laugh. Behind him, past the table were the prettiest lights. You felt so comfortable, warm, and safe in his yellow jacket.

“Are you okay?” He asked with slight concern.

“Yeah.” You snapped out of it and took another drink of your drink before offering him some.

“No, I have to drive. I got it for you, it’s all yours.” He declined.

“Thank you, for all of this.” You told him “it has made me feel better, I owe you so much.” 

“Don’t mention it.” He shrugged and you couldn’t help but notice just how sturdy his shoulders looked, and his thick tattooed upper arms.

His eyes were just as big and sparkling as when you had met him in high school. You tried to think back on the exact point you met him but you couldn’t remember.

“Jungkook, when did we meet, do you remember?” You asked him curiously.

“Mhm. I remember.” He gave you a nod. “We were all at Seokjin’s and we were setting up monopoly but had to wait because he was waiting on someone else. When you walked in the door I…”

“You just stared at me the whole time, I felt so unwelcome.” You laughed as you remembered.

You looked over at him to see him looking down and playing with one of the chunky rings on his fingers with a shy smile, his shaggy dark waves threatening to obstruct your view of his sheepishness. He was no longer that quiet and shy bowl-cut boy, well, in a sense was, but not to you anymore. He had tattoos all over him and long hair, his ears had a few rings in each. You wondered how someone so sweet could look like that. He was a paradox all on his own and you simply just never understood it, maybe that’s why you had felt like he was a little weird.

“The funny thing was, I had never seen you at school before that, but I saw you everywhere after.”

“I remember the same thing happening.” You replied as your mind went to seeing him in the halls and recalling the little waves he would give you. It made you smile recalling him then and looking at him now.

“You’ve always been so good, Kook.”

His reply was a shy scoffing noise before thanking you.

You noticed the cup you held was empty and looked down at it.

“Want me to get you more up top?” He pointed up and you nodded. He took your cup and told you to stay put as if you might be planning on crawling away. You felt safe here under this table with him, it was like your feelings couldn’t find you as long as you hid under here with him.

He bumped his head on the way back down making you burst out into laughter.

“You think that’s funny you sadist?” He joked as he smiled big and you continued to laugh at him “is that what it takes to make you laugh?” He teased as he handed you your refilled drink. “You know what would be hilarious? Me walking out here and getting hit by a car. You would be in tears with laughter.”

You still laughed but shook your head.

“You know what I think?” He lifted a brow at you “I think you’re drunk.” He accused you.

“No, definitely not. No way.” You denied but both of you knew it was a joke. Everything seemed to lag just a bit and you felt so silly. Your confidence was through the roof and every time you looked at him your heart raced. 

“I think you’re drunk.” You accused him back.

“Me? How? I haven’t drank anything all night.” His warm smile never ended and you swore he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“I think you’re so drunk that you think I’m drunk.” 

“No no.” You continued with your play fight. “If I was drunk could I do this?” You simply just took another drink of beer.

“Yes?” He chuckled. His laugh alone was enough to make your stomach feel like it was jumping into your throat.

You don’t know what got into you, you don’t know why you did it, but you reached forward and placed your hand on his knee.

There was silence for a moment as he looked down at it. He picked it up and he didn’t quite hold it but took it in a weird handshake way and let your conjoined hands be somewhere in the space between you.

He looked at you and smiled.

“I’m cutting you off. No more drinks for you.” You couldn’t tell if he was joking, or he was hinting for you to stop, your drunk brain had no idea. Instead of trying to figure out if he was rejecting you, you turned his hand over in yours and looked at his hand tattoos and rings, running your hand over each one. You had once heard his tattoos were for his family, but you didn’t know. You let go of his hand and held his arm as you examined those too, some had words you’re drunk brain couldn’t comprehend the meaning of.

“What’s after this?” He asked as he let you look over his skin.

You thought about it.

“I don’t want to go home.” You knew that much. “And I have no friends except…” actually you didn’t have friends anymore.

“My house it is then.” 

“I don’t have to if- I wouldn’t want to…”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind. I just want to know you’re safe and not in pain… unless you’d feel too uncomfortable.”

“I trust you.” You locked eyes with him. It was the truth, Jungkook had never hurt anyone ever that you can recall. He hadn’t even been mad at any of the others, even when he should’ve been sometimes. If you were bothering him he never would’ve said it, and knowing that made you feel worse, it made you feel like you were.

“I don’t think you’ve ever been to my house, but I have to warn you, it isn’t the best, I’m just a currently jobless IT guy. Kinda lost my job last week.”

“I’m so sorry Kook. I don’t mind, at least it’s not with Jin.” You finished off what was in your cup, he hadn’t been too serious about cutting you off the drinks.

“I’ll be back.” He let you know before crawling out from under the table.

You went to get out from under the table and the moment you stood all the drinks hit you, you held onto the table for stability as you sat back down at your seat. The pitcher of beer was gone so you had either finished it or he had taken it. Your brain was no longer thinking about Jin thankfully, but unfortunately, it was stuck on Jungkook and the way he looked at you and how his hand had felt in yours. Your breath felt shaky about going home with him, not because you were unsure, but because to you that had to mean something. You tried to separate yourself from your drunk mind and realized you didn’t want to push his boundaries when he was being so kind. You were drunk and he wasn’t and you knew he had morals that you just didn’t right now. You shouldn’t hit on him again, but then again he let you hold his hand, didn’t he? Did he? Would you even call that hand-holding? He hadn’t pulled away but that didn’t mean he wasn’t trying to be nice and that didn’t mean he was uncomfortable. You felt bad about doing it, but the drunk and hurt part of you wanted something, some kind of closeness with anyone so the hurt could be replaced just for now. It was all wrong of you.

Your brain spun as you looked off into nothing at all of the dancing colorful lights of the bowling alley. Maybe Jungkook wanted to take advantage of you, maybe he saw this as an opportunity, and as wrong as that sounded you would’ve been okay with that. Your mind stuck to that idea like a fly stuck in honey.

“Ready?” He asked as he held out his hand for you to help you out of the seat.

You stumbled a bit as you took your first few steps but he grabbed you around the waist.

“Careful.” He said so gently and so patiently but it did nothing to ease your turbulent thoughts and feelings. As he held your body like this, it made you want to hold him back, but you fought the urge. He was just helping you get to the car so you didn’t fall flat on your ass.

He buckled you in murmuring a quiet apology for seemingly no reason.

His car smelled of him. It was funny how you never noticed before he had his own scent, it was a bit like cinnamon or some kind of spice and fresh laundry. It hung all around you, on his coat, the fabric of his car, and even on your hands from touching his. 

You looked at him as he drove, the whole time, and if he noticed he hadn’t said a word about it. You felt fully wrapped in him and yet you ached for more, more than just this casual friendliness.

“Do you promise to tell me if I bother you… in any way at all.” Your mouth blurted out.

“I promise.” You watched him smile at your odd request. “You never have bothered me yet.”

The reassurance was what you needed for your mind to feel content for now.

The silence was comforting after all the music and crying and drinking and all the things you had seen tonight. You almost fell asleep, almost.

The keys jingling and a car door closing woke you up. You looked around to see apartment buildings just as Jungkook opened your side car door. You unbuckled yourself.

“Do you need me to carry-“ 

You got to your feet on your own but grabbed for his arm.

“Wait.” He announced before getting to his knees in the parking lot.

He took your leg in his hand and took off one of your heels before taking the other off. He then put an arm under your leg and one on your back before you were horizontal in his arms.

“There are steps up here. I didn’t want you falling in those shoes.” He commented as he carried you and your shoes. You wrapped your arms around his neck so he might have an easier time.

“Would you laugh if I fell down the stairs?” 

“Only for a second.” He teased

“You sadist.” You snorted.

The way his body and muscles felt against you as he packed you up the stairs to his apartment door made you more lightheaded than all the alcohol you had tonight.

He put you down to unlock his door but his hands went back into you to help you walk through it.

He flipped on the lights to reveal his apartment.

His living room area consisted of a mattress on the floor with dark blue sheets and a blanket, it faced a big TV on a stand with game systems and even a computer tower.

The headboard of his bed was the bar that separated the tiny kitchen from the living area.

To the far side were two doors, you assumed one was a bathroom and another door that looked like it slid open could be a closet.

“Quaint, right?” He asked.

“It’s very you.” You said as you breathed the scent of him hanging all around you.

“I was thinking you could have the bed and I could sleep on the floor.” He commented.

“Haven’t you been sleeping on the floor anyway?” You joked. “It’s a big bed, but it also could be a couch. So I could have the couch and you could have the bed. I don’t see any other way around this.”

“You’re okay with us both sharing…?” He asked as if you hadn’t already been thinking about it before you found out the only place to sit or lay in here was his bed.

“Do you mind?” You asked.

“Uh uh.” He shook his head and took off across the room. You wobbled on over to his bed and had a seat. You watched as he slid the closet door open.

He threw a pair of pajama pants and a white t-shirt behind him onto the bed before pulling out more clothes he kept in his arms.

“The bathroom is-“ 

You cut him off by pointing to the only other room in the apartment. You picked up the clothes and he asked if you needed help getting in there but you shook your head.

You had to hold onto the sink as you dressed in the foreign fabric of his clothing, but even though it felt odd, you still felt comfortable. You did your best to drunkenly wash your face before coming back out. The room was dim, and the Netflix home page was the only light. He was in the tiny open kitchen half of the room in grey sweatpants and a black shirt setting a glass of water onto the island.

“Drink.” He pointed and you did as he asked but could only stomach half the glass. You were sure to thank him for his kind gift of water before you went over to his bed on the floor and got in.

“Here.” He placed a remote on your torso before crawling into the bed himself.

But you didn’t want to watch anything at all. Being next to him was enough entertainment for you.

You looked over at him, hands comfortably resting behind his head, waiting for you to pick something. 

You passed the remote back to him by placing it on his stomach and found his open side too inviting for you not to want with all of your heart.

You rolled onto your side and scooted closer and closer until you put your head on the place between his armpit and shoulder. He didn’t stop you from laying on his chest. He turned the tv off making the room go dark before he let his arm fall around you and cradle you.

You laid in silence a moment.

“Tomorrow is going to be better.” He whispered but you were already drifting from the closeness and peace you felt for now. You took a deep breath in and held his scent in your nose for a moment so it would permanently brand into your brain.

“You smell so good.” You muttered already half asleep.

You heard yet another amused scoff come from him and felt the little laugh on his chest under your head.

“Go to bed.” He joked.

And you did, as you listened to his rhythmic heartbeat, beat after steady beat, unfailing and never letting you down. There was always another right after the last.

The quiet click of a door woke you. You could see sunlight flooding through your closed eyelids, you could feel the warmth in the bed and on your skin. As you laid there you could hear other little sounds, straining to be quiet but failing.

Your eyes opened and you were disoriented for a moment.

You sat up but realized the noises were coming from behind.

“Jungkook?” You sleepily let out as you winced at the bright light coming through the sheer curtains from behind the tv.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up.” You heard his apologetic voice. 

“No, it was just time to get up.” You grunted as you gave a stretch hard enough your bones cracked.

“Want some cereal?” 

You both casually sat in the bed eating. He had given you a massive bowl of cereal you felt obligated to finish. He was fully dressed while you sat there still in his pajamas.

“You want to stay again today?” He asked bluntly as his eyes focused on whatever anime he had turned on.

“I couldn’t Jungkook, you’ve been so kind and I just-“

“I don’t mind.” He shrugged and crunched up another bite.

“Why?” You decided to ask but he shrugged again.

“Having someone here is kind of fun. It’s like a sleepover I guess.” 

He was so childish in the oddest ways, it was kind of charming. You began to remember all of your thoughts from last night and thanked yourself for not trying too hard to make him uncomfortable. He pushed back his hair with his hands before taking another bite of the colorful cereal. He had the heart and empathy of an angel, even with the tattoos on his hands that he ate his kids’ cereal with.

“Then what are we doing today Kook?” You asked.

“You need clothes. Also, do you know how to skateboard?”

You felt those two things in the same breath were a bit odd but that was just him.

Before long, you found yourself in a cheap store grabbing whatever would fit you and you could wear in public and not feel too bad about it.

“Why’d you ask if I could skateboard?” You asked as he pulled out of the store parking lot. You had already gotten dressed in the bathroom and were ready for whatever weird thing he wanted to do.

“Do you?” 

“No.” You shook your head.

“Wanna learn?”

“Sure.” 

“I’m going to teach you how Yoongi taught me when I was sixteen.”

“How did he teach you?” 

“He taught me not to be scared.” Was his only reply, and you accepted it. You liked the element of surprise he added to everyday life, you liked how he didn’t take a lot too seriously. You admired that. Your life with Jin had always been work amongst jokes now and then but it hadn’t felt fun, even when you were both young. You felt like you could probably learn a lot from Jungkook.

“Let’s get some food first. It’s almost dinner time, are you hungry? You kept a while and all you’ve eaten today was cereal.” 

You paid for lunch. You got some fries you picked at between watching the wind blow through his hair as you ate outside at a little burger place. He stuffed his mouth full with every bite. A mess of tomatoes and condiments would drop from the burger and onto the wrapper in his lap.

“What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?” You asked him.

“Hmmm.” He thought with a mouthful. “Maybe live in a better house.” 

“That’s it?” You couldn’t help but laugh at the simplicity of what he desired.

“Yeah.” He smiled and wiped his mouth. “You?” 

“I wanted to live or at least visit somewhere warm. I was supposed to go on a trip to Hawaii with Jin, it was a surprise… I wanted to live there one day but he has to work here.” you felt yourself falling back into the heartbreak.

“You don’t need him to go to Hawaii. You could move there now if you wanted and no one could hold you back.” 

“Yeah.” You agreed but it sounded sad.

“You afraid of being alone?” He asked a question that hit you too hard. 

All of your adult life and even your teenage years all you knew was Seokjin, you had always had someone there, your parents or Jin, you had never really had to be alone or think of a future with only yourself until now.

“No.” You lied. There was a strange quiet.

“I’m sorry if that-“

“You should come with me to Hawaii.” You blurted out fully interrupting him.

“Do you want that?” He questioned as if you hadn’t thought it through, and you hadn’t but that didn’t mean you didn’t mean it.

“Yes. Do you?” You were so afraid of him saying no and you didn’t quite know why.

“It’s not like I don’t have anything I can just put on hold for… however long. It’ll be fun. I’d like that.” 

The conversation felt like something more to you somehow, like some secret agreement was just made.

“We should do this before it gets dark.” He commented “ready?” 

Your fries were cold and you had been just waiting on him to finish eating.

You took at the top of the street on a hill with him after walking a block from where he had parked and dragged a skateboard out of the backseat.

“This is where Yoongi taught me to skateboard, he pushed me down here.” He pointed to the steep road that luckily wasn’t too busy.

“And you’re going to push me down it? I’d kill you.” You crossed your arms disapprovingly.

“No, see, you’re going to push yourself down it. If you sit on the skateboard it will be easier and you probably won’t fall, it will be fun.”

“Your idea of fun gets crazier and crazier.” You pointed out.

“Sit, I’ll stay behind you.” 

“No, because it’s going to pick up speed faster than you can run as I’m going down the hill.” Your brain had already torn the scenario apart and your chances of getting hurt were probably around one hundred percent. Even though you knew that you sat down on the skateboard.

“Okay, now just look down, get a feel for it, take it in.” He instructed as you looked down at the steeply sloping road below.

“Jungkook this is dangerous.” You commented.

He stood behind you and wrapped his arms around you in kind of a hug.

“You’re okay, nothing bad is going to happen to you, alright? I’m right here.” He whispered and you nodded. “Close your eyes, keep them closed.” 

You did as he asked you could feel him wheeling you closer and closer. Put your feet down to stop you from going just yet. I’m going to let go, you’re going to count to ten and without opening your eyes, you’re going to push yourself. Stay as still as you can even if you’re scared. Only open them when I have you.”

Your breath shook, but you gave him confirmation.

“Count.” He said as he released you.

You slowly counted, the nerves in your stomach growing the higher each number got. You gripped the bottom of the board with both hands and when you got to ten you used your legs to push off before tucking them back onto the board.

You let out a scream as you felt the speed at which you were falling, you could feel tears in your squeezed closed eyes.

He caught you by the arm. It was all over before it had even started.

You were breathing heavily and clung to his jacket.

“You’re safe, you’re okay.” He assured you and helped you to your feet.

You were at the bottom of the hill and your heart was racing with your eyes still watering. 

“Are you crying?” He grinned.

“JUNGKOOK I COULD’VE DIED!” You slapped at his arm but he dodged it only making him laugh more at your annoyance.

“Look! You did that by yourself!” He commented with proudness.

“I could’ve died.” You repeated.

“But you didn’t.” He still wore a grin.

The sunset filtering through his dark hair, his laughter, and him trying to escape you chasing him by walking backward felt oddly beautiful. His skin looked a shade of golden like this.

You pulled on his jacket to pull him in, you thought about kissing him, everything in you told you to preserve this moment. Would he let you? Would he let you at least hold his hand again?  but instead, you wrapped your arms around him.

“Today is better, thank you.” You squeezed him. Your arms stayed around him for as long as his stay on your back. It was a while that you both just stood there hugging in the street like dumbasses.

“What do you want to do now?” He asked as he released you “you’ve put up with me all day so it’s your turn to pick.”

“Honestly,” you both began the trek back to his car. “I just want another drink.”

“Understandable. Let’s stay home and drink tonight, it will be easier.” He suggested.

“I would rather.” You agreed you interlocked your arm in his as you walked, and again he let you. You wondered for a moment why he was letting you be this close to him and touch him so much, but he never initiated it. You decided thinking about any of that was not for the best and you let it go.

You stopped at a liquor store and got more vodka and snacks than either of you would ever need for one night.

Before you started drinking you both took a turn having a shower and he started some laundry. Everything was so casual with the both of you, eating chips on the bed while he beat your ass at a fighting game three times in a row, he did let you win three times after that to make up for it. The loser had to take a shot and now you each had three.

“Last one. You’re going to win and I’m going to switch games.” You announced as you picked your character. 

“You don’t know if I’m going to win.” You could hear the smile in his voice. You knew it was either he won or he let you win, and he let you win yet again.

“Don’t be such a hero.” You laughed as he had to gulp down the fourth drink of vodka. His nose wrinkled at the taste.

“Let’s just play something both of us have an equal shot at winning. Since you’re good at video games it can’t be that.” You decided. You thought about what you could do that didn’t require much skill if any. You scooted closer to him on the mattress on the floor so you could face him, knee to knee.

“Got it. Hold up five fingers.” You told him and did the same.

“I know this game.” He said holding up five tattooed fingers.

“Good, loser takes three shots.” You made up the rules and he nodded in agreement. You scooted in closer and he faced you. You were going into dangerous territory with this and you knew it, but let it go under the guise of: this is just for fun.

“Put a finger down if you’ve ever gotten black out drunk.” You said and he put a finger down and you didn’t.

“Put a finger down if you’ve thrown up in public.” He said and neither of you put a finger down.

“Put a finger down if you’ve ever… eaten something off of someone’s body.” You watched as his finger stayed up but you put yours down.

“Are you trying to lose?” He laughed

“We’re even.” You pointed out.

“Not for long. Put a finger down if you’ve ever had public sex.”

You put a finger down.

“Put a finger down if… you’ve ever… let someone win in a game.” You laughed as you brought up earlier and he put a finger down.

“Put a finger down if… you’re y/n.” He grinned.

“You know what? Just give me the damn three shots, I forfeit.” You sighed knowing that it was time to play dirty in every sense of the word.

“I’ll take three with you.” He decided. Of course he would, he was the kindest man ever. You could’ve already guessed he would say that before he even did.

You took them together and only let yourself grimace after the last one.

“Again, I’ll start this time.” He announced, screwing the cap on the vodka. You could hear him slur his speech just a little.

You both held up five fingers once again.

“Put down a finger if you’ve ever had a pregnancy scare.”

Neither of you put down a finger, but the questions were beginning to get a bit more heavy. He seemed to have the same idea as you.

“You’ve ever had someone cum inside of you or came inside of someone without a condom.” You were stepping up your questions now but neither of you were putting fingers down.

“If anyone has ever gone down on you for more than thirty minutes.” He asked but again you both still had five fingers. “Wow, that really sucks for us.” He muttered.

“If you’ve ever had a thing for someone in your friends circle.” You announced. Slowly but surely you both put down a finger. Your drunk beau was ignoring the little voice in your head screaming at you to stop. Jungkook was your friend, a friend who might even have the same feelings as you did right now.

“If you’ve ever thought about kissing someone in your friend circle.” He asked and put a finger down and so did you. You felt like you were both edging towards the inevitable and dangerous with questions like this, but you couldn’t shut your mouth.

“If you’ve ever thought about fucking them.” Your own question made you swallow as you both put a third finger.

“If you’ve ever thought about what it would be like to be in a relationship with them.” He asked quietly. Your fourth fingers went down together.

There was only one left and it was your turn. You both knew now you were talking about each other, but it was hard to believe. You were scared it wasn’t you, maybe he was into guys too. You just had to ask, you had to.

Your eyes locked. You felt nervous. He looked nervous as he bit at his lip between those two front teeth you were becoming so fond of seeing when he smiled.

“Put a finger down if…” it was hard to speak, you had to swallow down the knot of nerves in your throat and take a deep breath before continuing “if the person we’re talking about is each other.”

His pointer finger curled down and so did yours.

 “For how long?” You asked.

“From the start.” He admitted. “But you’ve never felt that way.”

“I do now.” You leaned in. At least now you were sure how he felt, or at least you thought.

He stopped you by placing a hand on your arm.

“I don’t want it to be like this.” His voice was so quiet it was barely above a whisper.

You sat back and waited for him to explain.

“I don’t want it to be… I don’t want to be a rebound. I think friendship comes before feelings anyway and that’s why I did this. I don’t want to kiss you while we’re drunk, I don’t want you to regret anything.” 

“Oh.” You let out. 

“I can’t do this when you’re drunk and sad and trying to fill a void, that wouldn’t be okay of me to do. I want… I want more than that and you just got out of a relationship… or maybe you didn’t yet… but I can wait until it’s all over, I feel like that’s the right thing to do here.”

You sat there a moment as his drunk words registered in your brain. For just a second you wished you weren’t drunk so you could try to tell him how you were feeling but decided to give it your best shot anyway.

“I like you. I’m sorry I was so blinded by Jin all these years that I couldn’t see you liked me because if I hadn’t been maybe we both could’ve been better off. Maybe I could’ve had more days like this with you, hundreds more where we just do crazy things, where we could just sleep on a mattress on the floor and still feel happy and content with life. Jungkook if I would’ve known you felt this way and I would’ve known how life could be, at any point, then I’d probably be the one cheating. I want you. I want you and it’s not just because I’m afraid to be alone, you make me do things I never would’ve done. And your heart, your heart is made of pure gold. I want us both to just forget everything before now, everything we’ve been through, not because it hurts but because it just feels like it should’ve been us all along. And if you only knew how many times I’ve had to stop myself from kissing or touching you today when I was perfectly sober and perfectly happy…”

“I want that. I’ve wanted that.” He seemed like he was talking to himself more than you.

He was now the one leaning forward and your face got stuck in his pull.

Your lips met very gently and your eyes drifted closed so you could lose yourself in it.

His tongue wasn’t at all rough or demanding with yours, but it was needy.

You climbed into his lap and not a minute passed between that time and the time he was helping you fall backward, settling himself between your legs so effortlessly.

Your hands ran under his shirt slowly, creeping up until his shirt bunched prompting him to sit up and take it off.

You could feel him hard between your legs but there was so much fabric separating the both of you that it became frustrating to buck into him.

“I can’t fuck you.” He decided to your dismay. “But I just want to feel you.” 

You let him slide your shirt off so your bare chests were pressed together as mouths continued to move together in new ways every second, patternless unlike his heartbeat but exciting like the things he made you do.

He yanked the blankets up around you both and let himself grind into you slowly as you whimpered for more.

Your mouth went to his neck, sucking at his skin passionately and listening to the beautiful moans he made for you. You could’ve done this to him all night, just taste his skin and let his spit intermix with yours, but he decided to bite off even more.

His head sunk and he took a nipple in his mouth. The feeling went right to your throbbing and needy clit.

“Oh god fuck me.” You breathed “please just let me closer. I need more.” 

He pinched at your nipple softly between his teeth and you gripped his shoulder.

“I’m so wet, I don’t think one ever wanted anything mo-“

His mouth left your breast and yanked his pajama pants off of you and took off the ones he was wearing as you finished kicking off yours.

You were both down to your underwear now though you wished it was less.

While you weren’t going to force him to do anything he didn’t want to, it sure seemed like he wanted to do this.

You felt him reach into his underwear and adjust himself before rutting into you again with a groan.

Your hands freely moved across his skin, feeling goosebumps that had risen under your touch.

You knew that you were so wet at this point that it had to leak through the fabric of both yours and his underwear, you knew he felt it.

“Is there anything I’m allowed to do? Kook, you’re killing me.” You whined.

“I don’t have condoms.” He commented.

“I get a birth control shot but I understand if you don’t want to…” you trailed off.

“I don’t know what I want to do… I- but I think I have an idea. Let’s take the last of it off.” 

He seemed nervous as you both kicked off your remaining two pieces, and then you were bare for each other.

“You’re not a virgin right?” You asked from the way he was acting so nervously. 

“Oh. No, no. I- Uh I just feel like it’s wrong still... like I’m not supposed to. This can’t be happening.” He reached down between the both of you again.

“Nothing has to happen-“ 

“I’m so hard.” It was a whisper of a breathless whine that interrupted you. His knuckles brushed your folds and you realized he had his cock in his hand, pumping it slowly.

“Why the fuck are you so unbelievably hot?” Tumbled from your mind and fell from your mouth.

“You need to be seeing things from my view right now.” He looked over what parts of your body he could “dear god.” 

He finally released his cock and let it fall between your folds. He gave a thrust and felt the weight of his cock slide against your clit because of the wetness.

You didn’t expect him to shove his fingers into you, but that alone was enough to nearly make you cum from all the teasing he had put you through.

He pulled them out and held his sticky thoroughly coated fingers in the air.

“Oh my god.” He whispered quickly and shakily. 

You had never, ever been this wet in your life. You could hear the sound as he spread your juices and his pre-cum over his cock and brought it back to place it between your folds.

He came back down and every time he thrust how his slick cock rubbed your clit over and over.

Moans and whines escaped both of you but it just wasn’t enough for you to imagine him plowing into you, you needed to feel it.

“Oh god, I bet you would feel so fucking good inside of me. I’d cum for you so fast.”

You had earned a soft groan from him, he was losing it.

“I want to fuck you so badly. I want to cum all inside of you. Neither of us had ever done that before, can I?”

You felt him shift the head of his dick to your entrance.

“I will beg you, please do it.” you closed your eyes in a prayer that he actually would.

“Fuck.” he let out as he slipped into you, you took every last inch of him. 

He was already sweating and grunting before he had started thrusting, but after he started jackhammering into you, there was a new look and feel about him. His damp strands hung loosely, his nose crinkled as he hit his lip with the force he was putting into each thrust.

“I’m going to cum.” you announced not even a minute in.

He grabbed one of your legs, threw it over his shoulder, and was pushing hard. Your body bounced at the force, your head bumped the kitchen Island that was his headboard until he dragged your body animalistically lower on the bed.

“I wanna- I wanna hear you.” he panted. 

“Don’t stop- that- keep doing that,” you instructed. He was short on breath and a sweaty mess.

“Go on, I've got you. I've got you,” he assured you, keeping the pace of his hips the same.

Your orgasm crashed into you all at once like a semi-truck through a small building.

You felt like you had just gone down that hill again. Your heart was racing and you knew he was too.

You pulled him into your lips messily as your brain melted into a blissful spice and laundry scented puddle.

He mounded loudly against your lips as his body moved against yours.

“Coming.” He whispered his next few breaths were sharp, pumping into you a few more solid times, you could feel his cum spill into you as his sweaty forehead pressed into yours.

When his hips stilled, there was only the sound of rough breaths, he kept his eyes closed for a moment and swallowed hard.

“How-how was that?” He propped himself above you on shaky arms. In the dark you could see the beads of sweat that pulled on his face and neck, his chest rose and fell and still made no move to pull out of you.

“I-“ you tried to find even a single word for the experience you had just had. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”

He let out a strong huff of a laugh and grinned down at you with the biggest and sweetest eyes that looked to search your face.

“That was something.” He agreed but looked like he had something on his mind. 

He gave you a soft kiss on your lips before he finally pulled out and laid beside you, only to have the embarrassing feeling of his cum leaking from you and down your butt crack.

You jumped up, only making matters worse, cupping your crotch as you took off to the bathroom faster than he could ask any sort of questions.

As you cleaned yourself up you couldn’t believe everything that had happened between you two. you didn’t for a second regret it, the opposite.

As you walked out of the bathroom he was standing on the floor by the bed with only his pajama pants on, holding a bag of chips. He turned to you and laughed.

“We just had sex with the Mortal Kombat music.”

You stood there naked and you couldn’t help but laugh back.

That tender time you had just had together had just been spent jarring fight music and you didn’t even realize. That’s what he did to you. When you were with him the entire world and all of your problems fell away.

You put back on your pajamas, still laughing to yourself as you heard the music still play.

“Now every time I hear it I’ll think of you.” 

“Please don’t associate us having sex with that” you laid back down and he got into the bed with you. 

He fed you a chip and you thought that was pretty cute so you took him by the shirt and pulled him into your lips.

He pulled away for a moment.

“Round two, fight!” 

You laughed so hard at the stupid Mortal Kombat joke that you snorted and he found that pretty amusing. A tickle fight broke out and of course, he got you pinned and of course, you couldn’t help but kiss him again.

A knock at the door interrupted you both making him stiffen and both of your heads turn in the direction of the door.

“What do I do?” You mouthed to him he climbed off of you and sat up.

“Who is it?” He called out.

“Jimin.” The answer came from the other side of the door.

You grimaced at each other and decided to jump up and go hide in his closet. You tucked yourself in between his few shirts and hanging pants and closed the door.

You could hear Jungkook walk to the door and open it. There were now two sets of footprints inside the apartment.

“You weren’t answering any texts and I got worried about you.” You heard Jimin's voice clearly.

“Been busy.” You think Jungkook muttered.

“Looks like it,” Jimin replied with obvious sarcasm. You wondered if it was all the snacks and alcohol on the floor, the video games left on, or the marks that decorated Jungkook’s neck that made him say that.

“You hear about what happened with Jin and y/n the other night at the bar?” Jimin asked and waited a moment “I guess he cheated on her, you were right this whole time about it.”

“It sucks she had to go through all of that. How’s she holding up?” Jungkook was playing dumb.

“I don't know, I haven't talked to her. It's Jin’s business, not mine.” 

That hurt you. You had always thought of you and Jimin as pretty close friends.

“Plus I heard she disappeared anyway. Jin is speculating she took off to Hawaii on her own. Namjoon told me he told the police everything this morning wanting to file a missing person report. He thought it was suspicious she just left all of her stuff, but the police said she hadn’t been gone long enough and they had an argument and probably just wanted to be away from him.”

“Do you think she’s okay?” Jungkook seemed genuinely concerned even though you were right in his closet.

“I don’t know. Yoongi was a little worried she got kidnapped at the bar after she stormed out. I don’t think anyone is looking for her though, I think she just wanted to get away. Also, you kind of disappeared that night at the bar too, didn’t you?” 

Oh shit. Was Jimin putting it all together? 

“I took someone to my place and she stayed a few nights. I don’t think I was there when all of this went down.” Jungkook’s alibi seemed solid, you hadn’t even seen him in the bar when you had gotten there.

“Well, I just wanted to stop by and check in on you.” 

“Thank you.” Jungkook’s reply sounded sincere.

“You should probably clean up a little, maybe get a real bed, it just looks kind of… sad.”

Jimin didn’t sound concerned, he sounded almost mean about it to you.

“Noted. Will do. Thanks for stopping by man.” Jungkook continued to be kind to him until he left.

You stepped out of the closet dumbfounded as Jungkook said nothing about the way Jimin had treated him or nearly accused him. He just got back into bed seemingly unphased. You followed after and just laid there for a moment thinking about times when they had all been mean to him at least once.

“Please don’t let them do that to you.” You asked.

“Hm? Oh. Yeah. That’s just what it’s like being the youngest. I’m used to them looking down on me.” 

“it doesn’t have to be that way.” 

“Why not?” He seemed genuinely interested in what you were saying because he rolled onto his side to face you.

You rolled onto yours to face him in the dark. Hair was in his face but he was looking at you with those big brown eyes.

“It can be you and me against the world if you wanted. If one of our skateboards went flying down a hill, we would be there to catch the other before they got hurt. Do you want to do that with me?” You couldn’t believe you had the guts to ask that but what you couldn’t believe even more was his reply.

“I want to do that with you. Let’s do that. I haven’t let you fall and get hurt yet, have I?” He grinned.

Little did he know that you already had fallen.

You brought your hand up to his face before scooting closer and placing your forehead against his

“Promise me you won’t let me fall.” You whispered.

“I promise.” His answer was instantaneous.

“Then I won’t let you either. Well just protect each other.” 

“Deal.” He replied before connecting your lips. 

As you kissed him you wondered if he felt the same about you as you did him already. He had to know that you were so scared, so terrified of being hurt again and that’s why you wanted to make this deal.

His hand slid down your body and back up causing your shirt to bunch. His warm hand made its way back down your skin again and just as it snaked into the band of his pajama pants you were wearing, a loud hum startled you both.

You were confused for a moment as the room grew slightly brighter.

Your phone was ringing on the wood floor.

You sat up, squinting your eyes as you picked up the phone and looked at the screen that was far too bright.

“Jin.” Your voice wasn’t at all cheerful.

“Are you going to answ-“ Jungkook’s sentence was cut off by the sound of you turning off your phone and putting it back down. 

“I can’t, I just… I don’t want to talk to him right now, I don’t want to feel that right now again… if ever. I saw what I saw and there’s no way he can convince me that I didn't see it or that you didn't too, we have photos. I'm not sure that I really ever want to talk to him again. I feel so… differently about him now and I don’t think there's any repairing that.”

He sat up, picked up his phone from his side, and turned it off too before you both laid back down.

“Good night kook.” You announced with Jin’s call not leaving you feeling right but not wanting to think about it right now.

“Night.” He replied as he pulled you against his body.

Although you tried to refuse your brain the opportunity of letting the thought of Jin right now entirely wreck your time with Jungkook, it was hard. You thought of all the restless nights when you stayed up working as an excuse to wait for Jin to get home from going out or working late. There were rarely nights like this where you could curl up against him, looking back on it there were no nights that you felt as cared about as you did now. A thought stuck to you, one you decided to think more on the next day. Did this all happen for a reason? For both of you? Would all of the suffering you’ve both been through in your relationships be worth it now?.

You felt something soft and warm on your head. A kiss.

“Morning.” you felt a delicate breath of his whisper on your face.

“Morning.” You muttered. Your eyes stayed closed as you reached out for him and pulled him into you. He let out a quiet laugh as he let you drag him onto you as if he were your teddy bear.

“I’ve been awake a while, I went to the store in my pajamas and I thought you’d be awake by the time I got back.”

“But I wasn’t so you woke me up instead?” 

You felt his hands run up your sides and lift your shirt until the hem and bunched fabric sat under your breasts.

“I missed you.” 

“You missed me?” you couldn't help but smile before it was quickly wiped away by him crawling back a little and kissing the skin above your belly button.

“Mmm.” he hummed an answer before kissing just a bit lower.

“Remember the thing that we both never had?” you looked down to see his big brown eyes look up at you through a mess of dark hair.

It took you a moment with your still sleep fogged brain to realize what he was talking about.

“Hey Siri, set a timer for thirty minutes,”

The robotic voice replied it’s confirmation on his phone, but he was already yanking down your pants and you were lifting your butt so he could get them off.

He gently pushed your legs apart and laid on his stomach between them, starting to run very agonizingly slow kisses up your thigh. With every small warm kiss that felt just too close or every warm breath you felt of his, a tingle of anticipation went through your body. 

“I just keep thinking,” he placed another kiss on your thigh so close you felt his cheek brush against where you needed his mouth the most before he teasingly moved into the other leg “about how I have you right here” another slow kiss “after wanting you for so, so long.” 

His words hit you hard and you knew they were making you wetter. You had never been dirty talked so sweetly before, hell, it wasn’t even dirty yet here you were soaking wet and more than ready for whatever he wanted to do to you just minutes after waking up.

“God only knows” his lips touched your slit now and it was almost too much to bear “how many times I've imagined this.” his tongue dipped into your folds and licked from bottom to top, you moaned a little too loudly and jerked slightly as his wet muscle touched your clit.

You were so ready but his lips went back to your thigh. You said nothing as he repeated this pattern once and then twice, you began to more than look forward to when his tongue would meet your clit again, after the third time you swore you could cum on the next one, he was driving you insane with his teasing pattern, you felt like he was never going to let you have what you wanted.

“Jungkook please!” you nearly yelled as he once again went back to your thigh to start over. He froze, looked up at you through all of that hair with raised eyebrows, and gave you a smile of amusement.

“If you don't stop and just get on with it already then you'll see what I do to you.” you threatened.

“Maybe I'd like to find out.” he retorted.

“Get on with it!” you wailed loudly as you gave him a half pleading glare.

“Make. Me.” he looked you dead in the eyes as he spoke. It was enough to send a feeling that felt like electricity trickling through you. You started to get up to take control but he pulled your hips flat back to the bed with a delighted smile.

“Seriously?” you laughed.

“What are you gonna do?” 

You were growing more sexually frustrated with him by the second.

“Just wait.” you threatened again.

He bent his head down and kissed the folds over your clit. You took the opportunity to place your hand on his head and not let him up.

You felt him give a little laugh before he finally went to work licking and sucking at your bundle of nerves as your fingers twisted in his hair. A few moments later you felt his fingers slip into your wet cunt and press upwards, giving you everything you wanted all at once.

It hit you all at once, your orgasm shot through you. You muttered his name as you gripped his hair tighter and felt him moan into you making the pleasure feel that much better. Even though you had already cum, it was clear he wasn’t about to stop, his fingers and mouth were working you so passionately and quickly. You were so sensitive your legs twitched every time his mouth did something too rough with you, but it just felt so good. 

You looked down at him between your legs as you felt yourself building up again and watched his eyes shut and his head moving between your legs. You don’t know how or why you found it as hot as you did, but it was enough to make you cum again just as the timer on his phone went off.

“Fuck fuck fuck” you breathed as a blissful feeling washed over you like an oven wave

He looked up at you and as soon as he was sure you were done, he stopped. He went to wipe his mouth on the back of his arm when you demanded he take his pants off.

He looked at you with raised eyebrows and a little surprise.

“Tell it to set a timer for thirty minutes.” 

“I-oh-okay. You don’t need to do that if you-“

“Do it.” You demanded once more as you took off your shirt.

“Hey Siri, set a timer for thirty minutes.” He said as he shed himself of his pajamas and sat up.

A thought had crossed your mind to tease him as he had you, but you couldn’t do that. You loved the look of it thick and veiny, the head of it already leaking from everything he had just done to you. You wanted the feeling of it filling your mouth and throat, you wanted to please him.

You watched as his already hard cock stood tall waiting for you to touch it, and you wasted no time doing so. You leaned down only playing with the head in your mouth with your tongue at first, getting a feel for the satisfaction of him inside of your mouth. He gasped when you took him all abruptly into the back of your throat. You decided immediately that you wanted to hear more of that sound so you let your head bob before your hand joined in at his shaft to help. You didn’t start slow whatsoever. You were set on making him cum faster and harder than he ever had before, throwing out the idea of time altogether. 

He sat back on his hands to hold himself up but those began to shake too the faster you went. Spit ran down onto his balls and you thought about playing with them but you felt like that might tip him over the edge. 

He was full of open-mouth moans, ones you wouldn’t mind hearing the rest of your life to the body and cock and personality of a man you wouldn’t mind having the rest of your life.

Just as you thought about it you shut the thought down and concentrated on making him feel better.

“God, you’re so beautiful.” You made out from his moans.

You kept going and felt his hips thrust up into your face in tandem with your movements. He was close, unbelievably, but for some reason, he was hanging on. Only a moment later you found out why.

“Fuck me. I bought condoms this morning, fuck me. Please I’m begging you.”

You pulled your mouth off of his cock with a lewd noise and looked at him but he was already standing up, dick as hard as a statue to crinkle a plastic bag on the island beside you both. 

“I’m deathly scared of having children when living in a place so small and with no job…”

“Thank you.” You didn't know what else to say as you watched him rip off a packet, come back to his knees, and roll the condom onto himself. 

“But then again if I did… wouldn’t that just fuck with Jin knowing I got you pregnant?” He lifted a brow.

Something about that turned you into a complete animal. You kept onto his lap and clung to him. Your lips smashed into his as you reached between the both of you and guided his dick into your hole. 

He felt just as good and filling inside of your pussy as he did your mouth. No one has ever filled you up this well, no one had ever wanted you so much.

He thrust upwards with you on his lap. You were practically a rag doll under the grip he had on your hips.

You began to rock your hips to the steady and slow way his hands commanded them.

“Ahh god.” He moaned as he let his head fall onto your shoulder and you wrapped your arms wrap around his shoulders so that your bodies pressed together.

“I love you.” He placed a kiss on your shoulder blade and whispered into your sweat sticky skin.

Your heart stopped but your hips didn’t.

He said it. It had taken him only three days. You recalled it had taken Seokjin six months and fifteen days exactly to say what Jungkook had in only three. The both of you had figured it out in only three days.

“I love you too.” You raced to say. 

His lips caught yours as he pressed you down onto his cock hard and rolled his hips under you with a grunt.

“These have been the best days of my life with you and I want to keep it that way. I want them all to be the best.” He was out of breath, his eyes were closed and his forehead rested against yours.

“Please.” You begged for the same. “Let’s move away and just be together.”

He let out a small laugh before he smiled.

“Is this gross? This is so weird, it’s only been three days.”

“I’ve never been happier.” You stated a fact. You had thought about it and thought about it non-stop. It wasn’t just attraction, lust, or infatuation you felt for him, this ran deep, deep into his personality, deep into the way he thought and did things. Far deeper than his cock that was buried inside of you right now.

“I bet I could make you happier.” He tried to hide a prideful smile.

“Oh yeah? How so?” You couldn’t help but smile back.

“I could make you cum again.”

Before you could answer he was giving you a quick kiss before practically tossing you off of him with a grin.

He grabbed your hips and flipped you over so that you were on all fours. The tingle that you got down your spine from this gesture was unbelievable.

“Hurry up and fuck me.” You demanded but he shushed you as you felt him press into your cunt.

He had only been not inside of you for a moment but your body had missed the feeling.

You gasped as you felt his grips tighten on your hips and pull your body backward onto him. He went full speed, full force slamming into you. His balls slapped against you. You were already so sensitive, so sore and tired, but you continued to want more.

“Has Jin ever fucked you like this?” 

You had never heard his voice so rough, so teasing, so devilish. You were about to lose it.

“No.” You whined.

“Who does this pussy belong to? Who’s the only person to ever cum inside of you?”

Your arms were shaking, struggling to hold yourself up. Your mouth was slightly open and your brain was so lost that you struggled for even the most simple reply.

“You.” Managed to move from your brain to your lips.

You felt his hand reach around to your clit and begin to rub fast and hard circles. It didn’t take long after that for your brain to shut down, to make way for the orgasm that blew through you like a car explosion. Your arms gave out and your face ended up on the mattress while your ass stayed in the air for him. You felt like you had melted as his dirty talk became mutters and moans. You felt his cock get harder inside of you and spill warm liquid into the condom. 

“I’ve-“ he panted from behind you with his hips now still “I’ve never had sex that good- besides- besides yesterday.”

You’d agree, but you were still a puddle with your cheek pressed into the sheets until you let yourself plop on your side after he pulled out. You felt so high. You laid there for a moment as he took off to the bathroom. He was in there a while, so you decided to get dressed in your clean clothes that he had washed last night that resided in his closet.

You were in disbelief, your hands were shaking as you pulled on the clothes.

Did he mean it?

It had only been three days since he held you in that parking lot as you cried. You remembered the hurt you felt when Jin had seen Jin cheat on you. It was the kind of hurt that left a scar on your soul. You were afraid.

Jungkook was so beautiful and so kind and you had fallen hard, too hard. You didn’t even know anything about his family or where he grew up or if he had ever had any pets or his favorite color.

Your mind was spinning, you were freaking out.

You slipped your shoes by the door on and began unlocking it.

“What are you doing?” 

His voice stopped you for a moment.

You thought about lying. You couldn’t lie, but you sure as hell couldn’t face him.

“I-I think I should go.” You stammered.

“Can we talk? Was it something I said?” 

You could hear his footsteps slowly come closer as if he was trying to approach a scared baby deer to keep it from darting away, and that’s exactly what you felt you were.

“What was it I said? The Jin stuff or the I love you?” 

You could tell his brain was doing whatever it could to piece together why you were leaving.

Just hearing him say the words again shredded you apart.

You felt your eyes welling up.

“Hey, hey look at me, please.” His voice was gentle and now coming from behind you. You couldn’t ignore him, not when he sounded so sweet. You faced him and his eyes scanned over the tears slipping down your cheeks.

“If you didn’t mean it that’s okay, you don’t have to right now. I won’t say it again if-“

“I did mean it.” Your lip quivered “I’m just so scared.”

You watched as his eyebrows furrowed at your words while waiting for you to explain.

“I was just hurt and…”

“If you don’t want to do this-I-I knew going into this that you were hurt, and trying to heal and a relationship might be too much for you while… it was selfish of me to-”

you cut him off by shaking your head.

“no.” you sniffled “I want you, I'm just afraid of being hurt. If I was hurt this badly by Jin, I can't even imagine how badly you could hurt me.” 

His big eyes stared with crinkled brows at you for a moment until he wrapped his arms around you.

“I swear I will never ever hurt you. I will never do what he did to you. Never.” 

Your teary cheek pressed into his neck as you breathed in his calming scent. “I'm so scared of being hurt too, I know how you're feeling. I thought you would end up going back to him and I would lose you. So many things that could make you not want me and so many ways this could go wrong keep running through my head. Please remember what you said, we're here now for each other, it's us against the world. Please please please don't leave me.”

You felt his cheek rest on the top of your head.

“I won't. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, I'm so sorry.” you sniffled with guilt and let your arms snake around his torso.

His form was becoming so familiar to you now, his scent already smelled of home, perhaps it did from the moment you had first let him hold you. Perhaps you were all his from that very moment in the parking lot, perhaps you both belonged to each other all along and just didn't know.

“I love you,” you spoke the words first this time, you felt no fear about it.

“I love you too, so much.” his hands slowly rubbed your back as you felt him kiss the top of your head.

You closed your eyes and took it all in, just you and him. You wished at that moment that you could go back and do it over. You would've picked him over anything else, and you knew you'd be so happy if you would've.

“Thank you for not letting me go.” you pulled back and looked into his eyes. “I could've really messed up just now.” 

He gave you a heartfelt smile.

“I hope you would've come back, I’d miss you a lot until you did. We're supposed to be together, you know.” he raised an eyebrow at you.

“Oh yeah?” you couldn't help the smile that spread on your face.

“Mhmm. I have proof.” he lifted a hand and held it up fingers spread. “Give me your hand”

You thread your fingers through his and he let your held hands fall at your sides.

“Now close your eyes.”

You did just as he instructed and felt his forehead rest against his.

You had just had sex but any time you were this close to him made your heart pound so hard. It was as if he had unintentionally trained your body to do this for him.

“Do you feel it?” he whispered “Do you feel that feeling in the pit of your stomach telling you that you'll never love this hard again?”

You had. You had and that's what has scared you so much.

“I do,” you whispered back.

“And can you see it? I can. I can see us moving together to the place you've always dreamed of. You'll get mad at me for being so messy but I’ll just admire you even if you're yelling at me.” 

You felt another small smile on your face as you imagined his words.

“I'll still love you even if I'm upset at you for being messy.” you let out a small breath of laughter.

“I know you will. We'll love each other no matter what because we'll be good to each other, we'll always be there to catch each other. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Please believe me. I'm yours.”

You felt him kiss your cheek softly and you have him a nod.

Your soul felt so at ease. He had calmed your pain once again.

“If you're losing your mind in here we could just go for a walk you know.” he chuckled.

“Let's do that.” you agreed to it, knowing that he was about to take you out on another adventure.

You laid in his lap and looked up at his jawline. He was playing a video game, but it was fine with you as long as you got this view. He would occasionally run his fingers through your hair or readjust the flower in it that he had picked and stuck in it during your walk earlier.

Sunset was pouring through the sheer curtains making his skin look so golden. You loved the way he looked at this hour, his appearance matched his heart. You felt so warm and loved even when he wasn’t directly giving you his attention. Jungkook’s cup was always overflowing for you when you were used to only a cup half full. You, yourself, had always offered a full cup, but you never got the love you had given back.

“Do you think we’ve earned each other?” you asked as you looked up feeling the urge to kiss every piece of his jaw.

He paused his game and looked down at you.

“I do. I think we're very deserving of one another… Well, I have thought you were always too good for me, but we're both deserving of the love for each other.”

“You thought I was too good for you?” you broke out into laughter. 

“Don't laugh, I still think that.” he was serious.

“Nooooo no no no.” you shook your head. “Why would you think that?”

He shrugged.

“Well don't think that.” you sat up.

“Sometimes it's hard not to, look at me, I'm jobless right now and you're self-made. I live in a gutter with a mattress on the floor and you-”

You shut him up by pressing your lips to his and bringing your hand up to his cheek.

“I don't care about any of that,” you told him.

“I'm going to make sure we live a good life.” 

“I'm pretty happy with you fucking me on this mattress on the floor and we can live the rest of our lives this way, I don't care.” you had to drive the point home for him. Having a good life for you wasn't about what he had to offer, but the beautiful way he lived it, you didn't want that to change.

He crashed his lips into yours now and sent you backward. Your tongues met and lashed together and suddenly your hands were all over each other.

“I love you,” he mumbled into your lips as you tried to peel his shirt off.

“I love you too,” you replied as his hands pushed up your t-shirt and bra.

His lips went right for your nipples and the feel of his tongue and teeth mixing on the nerves made you arch your back into his mouth. You were once again getting high on him.

“I want you to fuck me and cum inside of me.” your mouth spouted off.

He moaned against your breast and you swear you felt his body shiver.

His mouth popped off of your nipple leaving it cold and wet.

“Fucking marry me,” he demanded before his mouth went to the other one.

At that moment you would. You wanted that, it sounded beautiful to you.

“Please. Let's do it. You want kids?” 

“Mhmm,” he replied as his teeth tugged at your perfect bud. 

“Fuck let's have kids.” 

He sat up between your legs and began undoing his belt.

You knew there was no way right now, you were on birth control but something about saying it all and imagining the perfect life was really doing it for you right now.

He tugged his pants off only leaving him I'm his underwear before undoing yours and pulling everything down just enough to get his hand in.

His fingers ran over your already slick folds.

“I'm going to do this to you every damn day of my life.”

A knocking made you both freeze.

“Don’t answer it,” you whispered, pulling him into you so you can connect lips again. 

For a moment you both did ignore the knocking until it turned to banging.

“Open the fucking door Jungkook!”

It was Jin. You had never heard him so angry.

“Shit fuck no.” you whispered as you both jumped up and pulled at your clothes so they seemed normal “he knows. How does he fucking know?” you whisper yelled in panic.

“He might not. It's okay, it's going to be okay.” 

“Maybe you should call the police.” you tried to get Jungkook to hear you over the pounding at the door.

“I'll step outside and talk to him. It will be okay.” even looking as scared as he did he was still trying to make you feel okay.

You slipped back into the closet but this time you left the door slightly open and peered through the crack.

You watched as Jungkook answered the door, went to step outside but Jin pushed him back.

“Where the fuck is she?” it hadn't taken long for Jin’s eyes to examine the room.

“Who?” Jungkook was once again playing stupid.

“What the fuck is all of this?” Jin nearly yelled, pointing to the condom wrapper still on the floor and the places on Jungkook’s neck. “I know for a fact your girlfriend flew home just last week.” 

“I don't have a girlfriend anymore, Jin.” you could hear the agitation in Jungkook’s words through his clenched jaw.

“Then explain.”

“I don’t have to.” 

“No? Well, I talked to her and she said she hasn’t heard from you in three days, just like the rest of us have both with y/n and you.”

Your heart felt like it had dropped into your stomach as you now stood there frozen.

“I saw you taking photos, you didn't even try to help get the girl off of me, you just took photos. I know you sent them to her. I know what you've been telling all of the others. I know this was a setup. I know you've always been jealous of me.”

“Jin, do you know how insane you sound right now? You need to-”

“YOU KNOW I’D NEVER CHEAT ON HER, I NEVER HAVE!” Jin yelled, “So why were you taking photos?”

“Jin, I saw you kissing the other girl.” Jungkook’s voice stayed calm.

“I didn't want it, she had me pinned, Namjoon had to come to help me. Everyone has told me you've been telling them this isn't the first time I’ve supposedly done this either, explain that!”

“Look Jin, you're the cheater here! Don't come to my house and start accusing me of shit!” Jungkook finally snapped.

“YOU’RE AN INSANE MONSTER, JUNGKOOK! WHERE IS SHE?” Jin screamed as loudly as he could.

“I DON'T KNOW.” 

You noted how easily lying came to Jungkook.

“You know! You know because you set this up, you're a fucking stalker and I've always done my best to protect her from you. You gonna tell her how I caught you following her to her classes in college when you didn't even go there? Or how Hobi found a picture you somehow had of her in your room at your parent’s house? Where is she so I can tell her, I will tell her everything.” Jin was seething in anger with his fists tightly gripped into fists at his side.

You still didn't step out of the closet.

“Fine! Fucking fine! You want me to tell you that I fucked her? I fucked her multiple times! I came inside of her, she told me she loved me. Is that what you wanted to hear?” 

“You're sick.” Jin growled. 

“At least I'm not a cheater.” Jungkook struck right back with his words.

“You ARE! And you're a fucking obsessed freak. I swear if you ever talk to me or any of our friends again I'll kill you!” tears ran down his cheeks.

“You're the one that's fucking insane, Jin.”

Upon hearing Jungkook’s words, Jin dove at him but only managed to push him back a little.

Seokjin was sobbing, he gave up and took off out the door.

As Jungkook closed and locked the front door things were silent.

You still stood in the closet and now felt warm liquid blurring your vision and spilling from your eyes. Your body was shaking.

He opened the closet, taking you by the arm and gently pulling you out.

You covered your mouth to try to keep the break down in.

“I can explain.” 

He didn't deny it, not any of it.

“What's true? You said you wouldn't hurt me so just tell me.” you forced even your shaking voice out.

“Listen, I've never- I haven't felt the way I feel about you with anyone before, and I…”

“Oh my God.” you said as your knees now shook “It’s all true, isn't it? Oh my fucking God.” 

“I-” he went to speak but your body had gone into fight or flight and you walked past him. Your body was trying to protect you by gathering your things, but it felt too late for it to kick in.

“I love you, I always have. I can text her right now and dump her.” he was following you around.

His voice felt so distorted as you felt so out of your own body.

“You haven't yet?!” you snapped at him. “At the very least you could have already done that. If you actually did love me you wouldn't have done all of this! What the fuck is up with the talking anyway?!”

“Please don't leave me, please, I'm begging you. I meant everything I said.” he began to cry now too.

“I didn't!” you were hurting and you wanted him to hurt worse. “I was only fucking you to make myself feel better about Jin! You set this up! You ruined my relationship and hurt me! You're a fucking freak! I never want to see you again!” 

You marched to the door, very aware he had crumpled onto the floor in hard sobs behind you.

You walked, you simply just walked in the chilly night, still crying, your things under your arm. The worst part is that you did love him, you had meant everything you said to him too, but he had planned all of this. You no longer thought of him as golden, but fools gold.

You had no idea how long you had been walking, but you decided to sit down on the side of a curb.

Your hands shakily turned on your phone and texts and missed calls flooded through but you ignored them.

The first thing you did was block everyone's number. You were done, it was over, you never wanted to do any of this ever again.

The next thing you did was book a one-way plane ticket to Hawaii. 

You deserved to be happy, even if, for the first time, it was only you. Your cup had always been full of loving others, but never did you think until now that that cup could be full for only you. You wouldn't ever let anyone take from your cup ever again. What filled your cup was genuine, it was gold while all the rest held only water. 

“Tomorrow is going to be better.” you told yourself.

You weren't happy now, but you knew you would be. You could take yourself on adventures every day, you could put flowers in your own hair, and if you fell down a hill at full speed, you could catch yourself. You promised that you'd never let yourself fall ever again.

[reidsnose]

Young and Beautiful

overview: spencer and reader spend the day together and feel like little kids again

genre: fluff

a/n: ok i think this concept is so cute but i feel like i wrote it dumb LMAO but its fine i'm excited tho lmk if y'all like it at all :)

masterlist

-

the setting sun peaked through the trees as you and Spencer walked around aimlessly. it wasn't often that you had days off, let alone enough to spend together. and the city was curiously empty, the usual bustle of the day having died down by evening. most people are itching to go home on a random Wednesday night.

"i really don't like the look of those clouds y/n." Spencer warned, pointing towards a large, dark gray cloud.

"i already told you i checked the weather and they said no rain!" you countered, though you had to admit the cloud looked pretty hefty. "it will probably just pass us over."

he hummed a hesitant agreement and carried on with the conversation you two were having. you looked around as the two of you talked, taking in the peace of the moment. the light breeze, the the hum of distant cars as you neared a park, the way the sunlight sparkled in Spencer's eyes as he talked, a golden tint covering the world around you.

he watched you soaking up the beauty around you, wondering if you ever saw your own. you were truly the most beautiful person alive. inside and out. he smiled to himself as your eyes lingering on the empty playground.

"you wanna go to the playground?" he asked, your eyes lighting up.

"is that weird? like were fully adults why is that twisty slide calling my name?" you giggled.

in a surge of confidence, he grabbed your hand and started running towards the playground with you, the rouge on your cheeks masked by the flush of a quick run. when he was around you, he felt like a kid again. you did too.

you tried not to think about how your hand tingled from holding his. it was only a couple of seconds and probably meant nothing, but you couldn't shed that wonderful feeling.

you guys raced to the slide, giggling like a bunch of school kids at recess. he beat you to the twisty slide, climbing quickly to the top and sliding down head first right off the end. you followed immediately after, arms stretched in front of you like superman and landing on the floor next to him.

"God, this reminds me of making a 'best friend' every time i went to the playground as a kid," you laughed, standing up and offering him a hand.

"cant say i relate to that," he chuckled, grabbing your outstretched hand and hoisting himself off the ground, sending a surge of electricity through his veins.

"oh come on! you never met another kid at the park and you two swore to be best friends forever and then never saw each other again?"

"nope," he replied, popping the p, "i didn't go to the playground much when i was little, nor was i the most sociable kid."

"hmm..." you hummed, "well i think you need to experience that."

he chuckled, but this time it was your turn to grab his hand and lead him somewhere. you two ran to get under the jungle gym, his long legs struggling to fit underneath.

"what are we doing under here?" he laughed, grunting as he pulled on his legs so he could sit criss cross.

"you're making your first ever playground best friend." you answered simply, sticking out your pinky. "do you...state your full name.."

"Spencer Walter Reid." he laughed, looping his pinky with yours.

"do you Spencer Walter Reid pinky promise that we will be best friends forever and ever?" you asked, trying hard to keep a straight face and failing miserably.

"i do." he answered, shaking your intertwined pinkies up and down after he was met with silence.

"ok now ask me," you whispered.

"do you...state your full name.." he echoed.

"y/f/n." you giggled.

"do you y/f/n pinky promise that we will be best friends forever and ever?" he asked, stifling a smile.

"i do." you answered, pinkies still linked in front of you.

"ok now what?" he whispered.

"by the power vested in me by this playground, i now pronounce us best friends forever. we may now kiss our thumbs." you announced.

he laughed confused and you both leaned in, pecking your own thumbs on the pinky promise hand, only the distance of your linked hands between your lips.

he blurted a fact on the history of kissing, how it was used in the olden days to seal the deal. he also mentioned how all the pinky promises he's ever done never involved him kissing his thumb, you laughed and said that it must be a Vegas thing.

you two used just about every piece of playground equipment, truly feeling like little kids again. giggling and screaming and being immature, your inner children completely taking over.

a clap of thunder interrupted you two while taking turns jumping off of the swings. your eyes grew wide as you looked at each other, recalling how you swore it wasn't going to rain.

just as you opened your mouth to say it still might not rain, it started absolutely pouring. the both of you were drenched in seconds, grabbing haphazardly onto eachothers hands and breaking out into a sprint, running as fast as both of you could in the direction of Spencer's apartment (which was much closer than yours).

but he did not have the long distance endurance, and to be honest neither did you and after a few minutes of running, you guys were still about half a mile away, huffing and puffing and soaking wet.

Spencer wasn't sure if most of his breath was lost from running, or from holding onto you this long. maybe a mix of both?

"lets just walk! were soaked already so who cares!" he shouted over the pitter patter of the storm, still hand and hand with you.

"who are you and what have you done with Spencer," you laughed, lifting your joined hands above you and twirling underneath.

he only chuckled a response, this time he lifted your intertwined hands allowing you to twirl again, humming a classical piece horribly off key.

the two of you started dancing down the sidewalk, spinning and jumping and swaying and leaping and laughing til you could barely stand. his lanky limbs flying left and right as you took turns humming different styles of music, even opting for an Irish jig at one point. and all in the pouring rain.

this was arguably the most fun either of you had ever had and we all know what happens to time when you're enjoying yourself. before you knew it you guys had arrived at his apartment.

water dripped from the both of you as you ran up the stairs, slipping and sliding all over the place.

"let me give you some of my clothes to change into so you don't have to drive home all soaked," he offered, unlocking the door and beckoning you to come inside.

"thanks bestie," you giggled, suppressing a shiver as you stepped inside.

he grabbed two towels, handing you one as you followed him into his room and watched him searching his dresser for something to give you.

he gave you a pair of sweatpants and told you to pick any sweater you wanted, causing you both to turn a deep shade of red as you realized you were sharing clothes.

he grabbed some clothes for himself and went to go change in the bathroom, letting you use his bedroom for more privacy. it was always the little things he did for you that made your heart burst.

you pulled his sweater over your head, taking in the smell of him that lingered on it. you smiled to yourself as you did, realizing you're already close enough with him to recognize it.

you finished changing and walked out of his room, seeing him reading on his couch, lounging in comfy clothes.

the sight of you in his clothes left him speechless, he imagined if you two were dating this might be a common occurrence. he shook his head of the thought and stood up as you offered him a smile, grabbing your keys off of the counter.

"thank you for today Spencer, it was.." you looked up at him trying not to get lost in his eyes, "..so much fun."

"thank you for making me feel like a kid again, there aren't many people who can do that. i don't know what i would do without you" he smiled, stepping slightly closer to you.

you couldn't believe your ears, or what was about to come toppling out of your mouth. he was just being so sweet and sentimental, your brain short circuited.

"love you forever." you blurted, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

to your surprise (and delight), he stuck out his pinky, which you gladly looped with your own.

"love you more." he professed, leaning in to kiss his thumb.

him admitting this gave you an incredible rush of confidence and as you both went in to seal the deal of the pinky promise, you tightened your pinky with his and pulled your hands down, pecking his lips with your own.

it was a quick kiss but you still felt like you were on top of the world.

Spencer barely had time to process what had happened before it was already over. he couldn't believe it. the perfect kiss with the most perfect girl and he nearly missed it.

he pulled you back for one more, slightly longer kiss, just to make sure. you both smiled into it, floating around on cloud nine.

you pulled away and smiled widely at his lovesick face before giving a small wave and walking out the door, scampering down the stairs and out to your parked car.

he snapped out of his daze and ran to the window, waving goodbye to you with the worlds dopiest smile on his face. it dropped suddenly as he realized he never truly asked you out on a date.

"y/n!" he called from the window. you looked back up at him and waved, "do you wanna go out this weekend?"

you laughed before calling back at him, "its a date!"

-

-

ultra mega super cool taglist

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc @sydnee-kom-spacekru

[boldlyvoid]

Hypothetically | Chapter 1-5

summary: Reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast.

friends to lovers, case of the week style story

A/N: Set between seasons 4 and 6, not following canon. all original crimes based on real-life stories.

Warnings 18+: Murderers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Blood, Guns, mentions of autopsy, Fluff, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, bed-sharing, Riding, Unprotected Sex, Virgin Reader, Case of the Week, original crimes, Food mention, Smut, Oral Sex, Light BDSM, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Talk, obgyn appointments and info, Home Invasion, Past Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Grooming, Pedophilia mention, non-con oral (male receiving), Pregnant Sex, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Homophobia, conversion therapy

Word Count: 15k

chapter 1

It took Y/N longer than she had hoped to finally catch up to him. He seemed to go from the cute little boy with a bow tie who sat beside her in her kindergarten class to working for the FBI by the time she graduated high school. It wasn’t fair that he happened to be smarter than anyone on earth, causing him to test out of elementary school before she even got to know him.

Spencer Reid had an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and the sweetest personality to match. Y/N saw him around as he grew up, coming home to see his mom often and minding his business as he wandered around in his free time.

He liked to sit on the swings at the abandoned park across the street from her house, it was a place he would go to at the most random hours of the day for years on end. Every time he was in the area, he visited the swing. And She’d watch him from her window seat in her bedroom. Pretending to read, but really she was watching him read.

It was years of watching, from the ages of 13 to 18 when he was coming back and forth from working on his second Ph.D., and she was still trying to make it through high school.

But she never walked out there and talked to him, she knew nothing real about him other than his name and that he was smart. The town told rumours about him being an alien or a government experiment because there was no way a kid could be so smart, but she never believed them. She liked to keep to the idea that he was sweet, smart, and special.

He stopped coming to the swing for a while after they turned 18, her mother had said something about Spencer Reid’s mother being admitted to the nursing home she worked at and y/n drew the conclusion that he’d finally left the small Nevada town she was seemingly trapped in.

Y/N kept tabs with him online, as weird as it felt to her she had a strange sense of pride when it came to Spencer’s achievements. That was the kid she sat beside in kindergarten out there working for the FBI, saving lives and changing the world. It inspired her.

So sure enough, when she moved to Virginia to join the FBI academy it was the perfect opportunity to finally be on an even playing field with him. An excuse to reach out to him and catch up, get to know him. She was technically older than him, by 10 months, and yet somehow he seemed to feel unreachable, wiser and more of an adult than she ever would be.

At 28 she finally bumps into him again. She’s carrying boxes into her new apartment with help from a moving company when he leaves the apartment across the hall from her.

“Oh my gosh, Spencer Reid?” she said with the biggest smile spreading across her face.

“Hi?” he says, not having any clue who she is.

“You might not remember me, I’m Y/N Y/L/N we were in kindergarten together in Nevada?”

He takes a moment to think, she watches his eyes flutter as he recalls the memory to his mind. She is mesmerized by how his brain works, like a filing cabinet he can just pull memories out. “Oh, yes we sat together the first day and you got in trouble later that afternoon for adding water to the sand because I had said it was too dry to build a model of the Pyramid of Giza.”

Her smile gets even bigger, “yes! I hope this isn’t weird but I’ve kept up with you over the years, I’ve always thought it was so amazing that someone from my town was off doing incredible things! I can’t believe I’m moving in across from you that makes it look so much worse oh god, I promise I’m not stalking you!” She rambled anxiously.

He laughed, “it’s okay I believe you! I’m surprised honestly that you remember me, we were what? 5? That’s a good memory you must have?”

She walked over to him and out of the way of the men moving her boxes into her apartment, that’s what she was paying them for anyway. She set the box down on the floor beside herself to free her arms, “I think your first ever friend would leave an impact on your memory.”

“We did have a good bond before I was transferred out,” he recalls with a smile.

“Well,” she smiled right back, “I also work with the FBI if you want to get coffee before work on Monday and catch up? See if there’s a possibility of being friends once again?”

“Yeah!” he answers abruptly, “I leave around 7:15 normally and I always go to the little cafe down the road, what department are you in?”

“VICAP,” she said, “just a floor above the BAU, surprised I’m only running into you now”

“You sure you’re not stalking me?” he joked.

She shook her head lightly, her cheeks hurting from smiling so hard. “Promise, just inspired by you, that’s all.”

He chuckled to himself, almost shocked that such a lovely person would be inspired by him. “Well, thank you. I’ll let you get back to moving in and I will see you on Monday Y/N.” he said with a small wave and walked down the corridor.

She sighed to herself, this was going to be amazing.

---

Y/N had barely unpacked anything by the time Monday had rolled around. She spent most of her time working on her bedroom organization, leaving a mess of boxes everywhere else. Going through her closet to find the best outfit for her first-morning commute with Spencer.

Her job didn’t require as much fieldwork as he did, so she could wear anything she wanted to the office as long as it was professional. She settled on black flared dress pants, a nice white turtleneck, the watch her family gave her when she graduated from the academy and her cute healed wedge boots.

She grabbed her purse and wallet, ensuring she had her keys and badge in there before unlocking her safe and clipping her gun to her belt. She grabbed her go bag and coat and draped them over one arm, holding her purse in the other.

With everything she needed, she walked to her front door, turning off her alarm just to change the setting to protect her empty apartment. She closed and locked the door behind herself just as Spencer walked out into the hallway.

“Good morning Spencer,” she said, cheerful as ever.

“You’re awfully cheerful for this time of day,” he yawned after speaking.

“Late night?” she asked, joining him as he walked towards the building entrance.

“We had an emergency case this weekend that kicked my ass, I’ve only been home for 15 hours. Hopefully, today is just a desk day,” he yawned again. “Sorry, I’m sure you’re tired as well, from moving this weekend.”

“Oh I’m exhausted, normally I don’t leave till quarter to 8, living farther away now is going to suck a bit.”

“At least our building is nice,” he adds.

“It seems wonderful so far.” He held the door for her as they walked into the parking lot, he dug her keys from her bag, “do you want to take my car?”

“Sure, seeing as I don’t have a car, I normally take the subway,” he said softly, walking to the passenger side and opening the door as he heard the door unlock.

“Well if you want a ride every morning I don’t mind, even If you need rides to emergency cases,” she smiled softly.

Spencer insisted on buying her coffee, saying it was only fair for driving him. But really it was because he wanted to spoil her, ever since she said she was inspired by him his mind hasn’t been able to stop playing that sentence on loop. He’s completely enamoured by her, willing to do whatever it takes to get on her good graces. Not realizing she’s willing to do the same for him.

In no time she’s pulling up to the main building, both of them showing their badges before being allowed access into the parking structure of their building. Y/N parked close to the main elevator, having impeccable luck with getting that spot in the garage.

“We still have time before we’re officially on the clock, if you wanted to come meet my team?” He offered, hitting the button in the elevator for floor 3. His floor.

“I’d love to meet the legend that is Penelope Garcia,” she smiled.

“She is wonderful,” he agreed with a smile.

The elevator dinged and she felt her heart drop into her stomach thinking of how Spencer was going to introduce her. He walked with her towards the glass doors, holding them open for her as she walked into the bullpen.

All eyes were suddenly on Spencer and Y/N, so many faces she’s never seen before, and 2 she knows too well from her research on the BAU. She smiled lightly as she walked towards them all. Spencer not far behind her.

“Good morning,” Spencer smiled a small pressed-lipped smile. “This is agent Y/N Y/L/N, she works up in VICAP, she was one of my best friends in elementary school.”

She smiled, so that’s how. “Hello!” She waved, “It’s so nice to meet you all,”

“Derek Morgan,” the tall dark and handsome one reached his hand out for yours.

“Oh, I don’t shake hands sorry,” she said, grabbing her right middle finger with her left hand and smiling lightly.

He laughed, “wow pretty boy, how come you never told us you have a twin?”

“Do you not shake hands either?” She asked him, “we really do have a lot of catching up to do Spence.”

“Emily Prentiss, it’s lovely to see Spence bring in new friends.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve always admired the BAU, I’ve actually compiled a few of the cases you’ve worked on this year, I’m pretty good at finding patterns even the system overlooks.”

“Oh yes, Y/N Y/L/N, I’ve seen your name on all the emails, thank you you’ve sent some of the best-connected cases to us, you’ve brought justice to people who we would have never connected to cases,” JJ said enthusiastically, “I was actually just about to tell Hotch about the newest one you sent me.”

“It’s horrible, isn’t it? I’ve been carefully looking over this case for 2 years now I knew you’d all be able to help with it. It’s right up your ally,” she nervously laughed.

“You sent in the files on the family annihilator that was going after people he believed to be decedents of Cain from the bible right?” David Rossi asked.

She nodded her head and sighed, “yeah everyone told me it was a stretch to catch onto but when I noticed all the men were from the same online ancestry family tree I knew you guys needed to see it.”

“That was specifically interesting, the death of his own brother led him to seek revenge on the father of murder,” Spencer agreed.

“So what’s this new one you’ve brought us?” Derek asked.

“Oh, would you like to pitch it to us? We’re all here we can meet you in the briefing room before your shift starts upstairs?” JJ offered.

“Oh sure,” she smiled, finally it was her time to show off.

Soon enough, Aaron Hotchner, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia and Jenifer Jareau were all staring at you in the briefing room.

“In Wichita Kansas, there have been a string of murders over the last 6 years that have all been incredibly, creepily similar,” she started explaining as she handed out the case files to everyone.

“Each victim is female, 16 to 24, they’ve all been strangled with rope while completely naked, signs of brutal sexual assault, binding and torture. They’ve all been found wrapped in shower curtains and placed in various public locations. Clearly a sign of remorse with how he keeps them covered but still a taunt that we can’t find him even now that he’s 6 victims deep.”

“Clarise Richardson, victim number 1 was raped, strangled with rope and left by an underpass. She was found in 1998, the M.E said she was dead 16 hours when they found her, COD was asphyxiation. Her family reports she was last seen at least 73 hours before she was found. So he kept her for a while. There were fibres under her nails of green carpet, either she was held at someone's house or in a van with carpet like they had in the 70s and 80s.”

“Were there any fingerprints or DNA on the bodies?” Prentiss asked.

“Yes, there was a sperm sample retrieved on victim number 5, Sharon Flynn. Most likely he wore a condom for the rest of his rapes and he wasn’t in the system already. Either he never ejaculated in earlier rapes before he grew to murder or his victims never came forward before 1998.”

“which is highly likely, we saw in the EARs case in California how hard it was to get the men and women who were raped to even come forward. There were 4 confirmed cases in the news before more came forward with similar stories. It’s seen as a shameful thing when in reality it’s just giving them more power if they believe they’ll never be caught.” Spencer explained.

“Yes, it’s very hard to come forward when it happens to you,” she agreed before quickly hanging subject. “I’ve been searching for any rapes in the area with similar MO, choking, BDSM, ropes, vans with green carpet, and I’ve found 3 women who claimed to be raped by a man at festivals the late 70’s who had an orange van with green carpet who bonded them up in a very intricate form of bondage that tightened every time they squirmed to entice them not to move. And from my research, that's the same pattern of rope as the rope burn on the 6 bodies we have.”

“All 6 of them are fairly similar it’s just their dumpsites that sets them apart. He didn’t have one strict area that he stuck to, he seems to have no problem travelling to them.” Emily said, flipping through the files.

“I’m thinking he has a job the requires him to still use his van. Like a travelling plumber, a phone or computer tech, home surveillance or maybe even he’s with Jehovah's witness or the Mormon church. It would explain him being able to get into these women’s houses and neighbourhoods long enough to pick someone, learn their schedule and grab them.” Y/N explained.

“Garcia, can you look into those businesses, as well as independent contractors, satellite companies, mailmen, and anyone else who might have been on the job by the victim's houses on the dates and times they were last seen,” Hotch asked.

“Absolutely, I’ll also run the DNA samples in my other databases.”

“I was about to ask you to do that, I think he might have children. There is a very large gap between the rapes and the jump to rape and murder, if you could run the saliva sample from victim 3 that's on her neck with any foster system or genealogy company to see if he has a son or uncle we can trace his sample to?”

“That's a great idea, I’ve never thought to do that,” Garcia smiled. “I like you, you’re a smart cookie!”

“Looks like we’re headed to Wichita,” Hotch said. “Do you think VICAP would be mad if we stole you for a few days? You have more connections with the Wichita police than we do, they might cooperate more If they know a friendly face.”

“Absolutely, let me grab my go-bag from upstairs!” Y/N jumped up, “I’ll be right back down!”

“Wheels up in 30,” Hotch said, And with that, she was out the door.

“Reid if you don’t marry her I will,” Penelope said softly.

“Okay.” He blushed.

—

She took a seat beside Reid on the jet, the two of them chatting amongst themselves for a while before they were called for the second briefing.

“So local PD think they have a recent victim from this weekend they want us to check out,” Penelope said over video chat. “she’s a little different than the others. Katie Newton, 27 was found bound to her bed, already having passed and was being assaulted when her husband came home. He screamed at the guy who was only wearing a ski mask and “tight-y white-y’s” as the husband described. He grabbed his bag and clothes with him but he left her tied up with the little time he had to knock the husband out of the way and run out.”

“Did he get any other identification marks on the unsub?” Y/N asked.

“He said he was pasty white, 5’8 and he didn’t talk. He didn’t scream, nothing, he just grabbed his things and ran. He does however remember he had a very large brown birthmark on his chest covering the right nipple down to his stomach.”

“Okay that’s good to know, why do they think it’s our guy?” Rossi asked.

“Blood found on the rope she was tied up with can match back to 13 different women. 6 of the murders that Y/N brought to us, 1 of the rapes she found and 5 other break-in and rapes of other women in the area.”

“Holy shit,” Y/N whispered to herself.

“Well done on finding this one Y/N, this one is going to be big.” Morgan complimented her with a smile.

“Thanks,” she smiled back, “I didn’t expect any of this when I connected the 6 of them originally. This is insane.”

“have you ever been in fieldwork like this?” Hotch asked.

“At the academy, I was combat trained, I have all my clearances and I’m a great shot. I’m good on my feet and I tested perfectly on hostage talk down.” She tried not to brag but this was almost as important as a job interview.

“Well damn,” Morgan nodded in approval. “We might just have to seal you full time.”

“I wouldn’t mind that at all!”

“Good,” hotch smiled, something he didn’t do often. “I’m going to send you and Reid to the M.E to see what else we can find out about these new break-in homicides. Prentiss and Rossi, I want you to travel to the last dumpsite and the latest crime scene to see what else could connect them. Morgan and JJ come with me to the station to set up communication with the local PD and media we don’t need them naming him like they did with BTK.”

“Garcia, would you also widen the search for anyone convicted of sexual misconduct, flashing, stalking, break-ins where underwear was stolen or and peeping toms? Go all the way back to the 70s. If any of them are now working for any businesses that have vans and require him to travel. This guy has to have a mistake somewhere that you will find.” Y/N asked one last time.

“Got it, genius girl, over and out.”

—-

The bureau had the funds for rooms for the main team, meaning Y/N had to double up with someone and she had to decide who once they landed and headed to the hotel.

“It wouldn’t be weird if we got a room with two queen beds right?” She asked Spencer, “it would give us a chance to catch up in our downtime like a sleepover we never had as kids.” She nervously rambled in the SUV as Reid drove.

“No I don’t mind, It would be fun if we get any sleep in this case. This one seems like it will be a bit of a brain rattler.” Reid agreed with a soft pressed-lipped smile.

They booked their rooms, dropped off their things and all headed their separate ways. The M.E’s office was close to the police station, the two of you in an SUV followed Hotch, JJ and Morgan in another down the road.

The bodies had all been cremated or buried shortly after being found, there wasn’t anything fresh enough to examine for them but they did have access to all the information on all the cases.

“I’ve been the medical examiner here for the last 30 years,” the nice old man said as he led them down the hall to the storage room. “These ones have all been some of the worst cases I’ve seen here. So much so that I keep them all in their own boxes just in case a day like today ever happens.”

“That is very helpful for us thank you so much!” She smiled at him as he held the storage door open.

“They’re all labelled by name and date. If you have any questions about tests or need me to run more with what we have left just give me a holler!” He said as he left the room.

Y/N sighed. “Why do I feel like this is going to take a million years?”

“I can read 20,000 words a minute, it will take me 3 hours to read everything in this room. Luckily we only need to read these few boxes.” Spencer pointed at the wall.

“Okay boy wonder, stop showing off,” she smiled, taking the Victim # 5 case box down first. “She was the first one I put into the system when I joined VICAP.”

“Is that why you sent this case to JJ?”

“Partly,” she sighed again. “There was the emotional attachment of this being my first case but there were just too many connections I knew you guys could bring justice to her family. She was so young.”

Spencer opened a box and she watched as his eyes darted across the pages as he flipped through them. She was mesmerized by how he could do that. But he was probably even smarter than god so it made sense.

“This is interesting. They found LSD in the system of the 3 rapes from back in the day which isn’t that uncommon for the time period or the places where they were abducted, but what’s strange is the amount. This is enough LSD to make someone go insane, no one in their right mind would willingly take this much LSD?” Spencer said.

“They were all found 2 days later dehydrated and alone in the middle of nowhere, there’s no way of knowing if more women didn’t have this happen and died where he left them.”

“He is probably in his 50’s now. How fit would he have to be to still be able to break into houses and rape and murder women?” Spencer asked.

“Well that might be just why he stopped dumping, he might have a bad back and can't lift the dead weight. He is more willing to get caught in someone's house so that he doesn’t have to do the dumping, he can just leave after. 5 of the 6 home invasions were with women who lived alone or husbands who worked night shifts. So they wouldn’t be home. He watched them long enough to know when he could successfully get away with this.” Y/N explained as she flipped through boxes.

“And the rope technique our last victim was found in is exactly the same as the rope burns as the others you’re correct,” Spencer complimented her. “He might have ex-girlfriends or even an ex-wife who he would have tried BDSM on and she didn’t like it, so now he feels like he has to do it this way. When we deliver the profile we should alarm the public about him to draw out any women who would have willingly tried something with our unsub.”

Y/N nodded as he spoke, agreeing with everything. “That could have even been the original stressor, all the women are pretty vanilla, I talked to the husbands over the phone and the original rape victims. They weren’t into trying anything like this in their free time. 2 of the rapes were also virgins. They all had good jobs and good grades, they were outstanding, low-risk members of the community. He might be getting revenge on the women who wouldn’t indulge in this fantasy.”

“He probably feels a lack of control in his personal life, maybe he even has a more dominating wife who he feels he can't stand up to so this is how he deals with it.” Spencer agreed.

“Let's go see Hotch, I think we should deliver the profile.”

—-

They walked into the police station, gliding through the doors like they owned the place. Emily and JJ watched as they walked over to hotch with the exact same energy. Both speaking with their hands and rambling about what they had found.

“So he’s a fit, early 50’s, white male. Married, probably with kids, works with or owns a van. He has a problem with authority in his own life, he feels like he is in a submissive role all day be it from a female boss who’s always on his ass or his wife. It’s possible he even has only daughters and no sons. He feels emasculated, surrounded by women, which is why he started taking these women originally to rape them with BDSM-like acts to finally have that control he lacks in his everyday life.” Y/N explained. “He wouldn’t be very handsome, he would have issues speaking with most women, he keeps to himself, he might have even failed out of jobs involving the police or security, he wants to be in a place of power but he has none of the social skills to accomplish what he wants. I would even look into local army cadets or boy scouts he could be a very old member or the father of someone in one of those groups. His affinity for binding them up and the types of ropes he used are very common BDSM ropes but the knots are reminiscent of ones my brothers would do in at Navy cadets.”

“You got all that from the M.E?” Derek said, shocked at how good she was at this.

“I’ve been staring at his work for 2 years, every time a case from this town came in I checked into it to tie it to this guy. I don’t know what it is but this one gets to me, like BTK or Ed Kemper, these men have specific vendettas against women, they need to dominate women because they have a strong mother or wife in their presence. I know the type of man he is and I want to see him rot in prison.”

Spencer walked over to another table, spreading out a map and beginning to look at the geographical profile. Making down the 3 rapes and their dumpsites, the 6 abducted women and their dumpsites as well as the 6 home invasion homicides. Narrowing down on the geographical profile to find his comfort zone.

Y/N stood beside him watching him draw perfect circles over the map, placing a dot right in the middle. “He either lives or works in this area. Everything is within 35 miles of this area.”

Hotch took out his phone and called Garcia, placing the phone on the table with the speaker on. “Hello my lovelies, what can I do for you?”

“Have you narrowed anything down?” Y/N asked.

“Yes, I have 117 orange vans originally bought in the late ’70s that are still registered to men in this area all between the ages of 45 and 60. 63 of them work in home security, 13 of those have a son in boy scouts and 4 of those have prior peeping tom allegations.” She explained.

“Any of the 4 look interesting?” Hotch asked.

“We have Travis Johnson, 55 he works for Acorn Security, he was doing service in each town that a murder took place the same week they went missing. He is married and has been since 1980 right when he stopped raping and his 5th and last daughter was born the same week that Clarice Richardson was murdered in 1998. They took in a foster child to give him a boy 3 years ago who is in boy scouts, and has all his badges in you guessed it, knot tying.”

“Do we have his home and work address?” Morgan asked.

“Yes of course I do chocolate thunder, they’ve been sent to you already. I’ve also sent a list of his appointments for today, he might be on the hunt.”

“Thanks, baby girl,” Morgan smiled at the phone.

“It's what they pay me the big bucks for.”

She hung up and hotch immediately started handing out bullet-proof vests. “Time to catch him.”

Spencer rested a hand on your back as he passed you, smiling as if to say 'good job'.

Y/n grabbed her vest and her go-bag and quickly changed into something more suited for chasing after a runner. It almost always came to that in her experience. She came back out in jeans and a white long sleeve shirt tucked in, her vest on and her hair up. She placed her earpiece in and straightened out her gun. Making sure the clip was full and adding an extra one to her vest.

“Ready?” She asked Spencer as he tightened his vest.

“Let’s do this.”

They split up, Prentiss Rossi and JJ went to his house while Reid, Morgan, Hotch and Y/L/N took a squad of local cops to where the unsub was supposedly doing his house calls.

They slowly drove through the neighbourhoods, lights off just paroling up and down the streets. They saw an orange van parked on the side of the street, they watched as the unsub got out of the driver's seat, grabbing a bag and walking up to a woman’s house. Slowly they all got out of the SUV, Morgan and Hotch taking the back while Reid and Y/L/N took the front door. They waited for confirmation that he wasn’t alone in this home, before going in.

They could hear a woman talking and then there was a scream, “I’m going in,” Y/L/N said, Kicking the door down before Reid took the lead, Y/N following behind him.

“Travis Johnson? FBI!” Spencer yelled.

The two of them cleared the main room, working their way to the hallway, Reid let her take the lead to the bedroom where they heard the struggle.

“Travis put down the rope and let her go,” Y/N said slowly as he walked into the room, gun pointed.

“And why should I?” He panicked, holding the woman against his chest, she was crying gripping onto the rope he was holding tightly around her throat.

“I’m a huge fan of your work!” Y/N said. “I work for VICAP, I’m the one who had to put each and every single one of your victims in the system. I know exactly how much you’re into control and BDSM, it’s honestly surprising that you have to force these women into it, why are women so against letting a big strong man control them anymore?” She said softly as she lowered the gun and her voice.

“You know, I’ve always thought BDSM was super sexy, I’d love to be tied up and taken control of, if you put down the rope how would you like to have a willing participant one day?” She teased him, getting closer and closer, she could see he was rock hard. He loosened the rope and pushed her to the side, stepping forward towards Y/N who quickly flipped him to the floor and cuffed him.

“Travis Johnson you are under arrest for the rape and murder of over 12 women. You have the right to remain silent, everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you can't afford one will be appointed for you. If you chose to share anything without a lawyer present you have the right to stop at any time. Is that clear?”

She single handily lifted him to his feet and dragged him out of the room as the men in the hall just watched with awe.

“You’re a little bitch you know that?” The unsub said as he struggled in her grasp.

She slammed him against the hallway wall, pressing right up against his back, whispering in his ear “oh so now you have a big mouth huh, finally feel like you can talk to a woman who isn’t tied down? I’m in control here, you’re my little bitch you hear me? Only good boys get to speak to me.” She said as she pulled him back off the wall and handed him off to local PD. “Have fun being a little bitch in prison Travis.”

She stood there with her arms crossed catching her breath as the adrenalin shook through her body.

“Well done Y/L/N,” Hotch and Morgan put their fists out to give her props.

“How would you like to join the team for good?” Hotch asked? “we’ve been looking for an extra hand.”

“Absolutely!”

—

They were going to spend the night in Wichita, all agreeing to spend the night getting drinks at the local bar suggested by the PD. Piling into the SUV all together with Spencer offering to DD.

“How much time have you put into Travis?” Prentiss asked in the back seat beside Y/N.

“Sharon Flynn was the first case I ever put into my system 2 years ago. Her case looked so gruesome and evil it never left my mind. So then when Alice Webster, number 6 came in I did some more digging and found the 4 before Sharon and the 3 rapes, I knew it was cold for a while but something about him always stuck with me. And for some reason last week when I emailed the info to JJ out of the blue I had a gut feeling he was at it again.” Y/N explained.

“It’s a special talent to just feel when something is wrong.” JJ smiled back at them.

“I’ve always been, not fascinated, by serial killers but more interested in the chase of justice.” She explained, “if that makes sense. I love puzzles and finding answers and at least this way the end result is families finding peace.”

They pulled into the parking lot, all of them finding their way into the bar before the ladies went to the bathroom to freshen up.

“So Y/N,” Prentiss said, taking her phone out and calling Penelope. “The ladies of the BAU are very close, so welcome to our little group.”

“exactly.” Penelope said over the phone, “welcome to the group you’re going to fit right in!” She cheered.

“Thank you, VICAP was not a tight-knit group like y’all are. I’m extremely excited to get to know you all more.” Y/N smiled as she straightened her shirt out in the mirror.

“So you and Spencer?” JJ asked.

“We were in the same kindergarten class,” Y/N said with a small smile. “I thought he was going to be my best friend and then he took some test and was bumped into 4th grade. By the time I was in high school he had already finished his second Ph.D.”

“So you never kept up with each other?” Prentiss asked.

She shook her head. “I knew of him, my mom is the Activities Organizer at the home his mom is at, he used to go to the park across from my house, he now lives across the hall from me and works with me. I think we were always supposed to be friends but it wasn’t the right time till now.”

“Sounds like you have a crush,” Penelope teased through the phone.

“I do.” She smiled to herself. “I think I always have.”

“If pretty boy was here he’d say that there is a statistical likelihood that because you’ve been interested in him for longer than 3 years you’re most likely in love with him and you'll never not be.” Prentiss explained, “I heard him say that to Hotch once.”

She nodded along, “I guess I just need to get him to fall in love with me now.”

“It won't be that difficult.” JJ placed her hand on Y/N’s back and they all made their way out of the bathroom smiling.

The men were all sitting together at a table with everybody’s drinks already waiting.

“We didn’t know what you liked,” Spencer said as Y/N sat beside him. “So I said I’d go get whatever you want.”

“Or we can go up to the bar together.” She smiled.

The two of them got up and walked to the bar, the rest of the team watched them.

She leaned against the bar, ordering her drinks and pressing in close to Spencer. “It’s been so nice getting to spend time with you.” He said softly.

She was handed her drinks before she could even respond. Taking her tequila shot there and bringing her margarita back to the table as Spencer followed swiftly behind her.

They all drank and exchanged case stories from within and beyond the BAU, Spencer was able to add a lot of input but he was always cut off. Y/N leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “you can tell me all your facts later I really want to hear them.” She smiled so softly Spencer felt his heart about to burst in his chest.

Emily left the group to go flirt with the bartender, JJ was on FaceTime in the SUV with Will, Rossi had disappeared with a local woman and Hotch and Morgan were exchanging childhood stories over a beer in the corner.

The bar was playing old, slow music, almost everyone had filtered out but there were still older local couples hanging out and dancing in the middle of the room.

“Do you dance?” Y/N asked Spencer.

“I can try.”

She took his hand and led him to the floor. Drunk on the alcohol and his touch as she slipped his hands around to her back, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned her head on his chest. She felt his cheek rest on the top of her head as the two of them just swayed in a circle together.

“Do you have any other memories of me?” Y/N asked him softly.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “You lived across the street from the park, and your mom works at the nursing home. You have 2 younger brothers who have always looked older than you. They would come and go when I was sitting on the lone swing and I’d always see you in the window reading. I knew you were my age but it still never felt right for me to talk to you when I was in university.”

“I watched you every time you were on the swings, you looked so peaceful. You read at least a book a day every time you were out there and it became so special to me seeing you there every weekend.” She explained.

“The world works in mysterious ways.” He explained.

She held him as close as she could. Never in her wildest dreams did she expect her day to go like this. She expected coffee and a weird goodbye in the elevator and staring at a computer screen all day. Somehow she ended up in Spencer's arms in a different state after having caught the serial killer that's haunted her dreams for years.

He rubbed his thumb lightly over her back, “do you want to go back to the hotel? We have an early flight.” He whispered.

“Yeah,” she smiled pulling back but reaching down to hold his hand as they walked over to Hotch and Morgan.

They drove home quietly, everyone in the back was happily drunk and tired. They parked and wandered up to their rooms, saying goodbye at their doors and disappearing into their rooms.

Spencer let her take the bathroom first, changing into her PJ’s and then he did the same. She laid in her bed, facing his as he sat up and read.

“Can I come lie beside you?” She asked, knowing exactly how needy she sounded.

He nodded, pulling the sheet back so she could slip right in. She laid on her side and just looked up at him. Absolutely astounded that she was with him.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Spencer asked, putting his book down and sliding down the bed to be on her level.

“Yeah?” She said nervously.

“Today you said it’s hard for people to come forward after they are assaulted, it sounded like personal experience and I wanted you to know if you need anyone, I’m always available for you.” He explained.

“Oh,” her face dropped. “I was 12, he was 15. You were in high school at the same time as him. I don’t know if you’d remember him, his name was Christopher.”

Spencer nodded along as she spoke. “When my mom finally went back to work she didn’t trust me watching my brothers alone so her friend offered to babysit us during the days. Her foster son took advantage of me the whole summer and when my parents finally found out he went into Sophomore year and told everyone that the nerdy girl who looks like bugs bunny was obsessed with him, that I stalked him and that anything I said about him wasn’t real.”

“I’m so sorry.” He rubbed his hand over her shoulder to soothe her.

“It’s okay, they used to call me bugs bunny because of my overbite. I used to rest my front teeth on my front lip and they would throw carrots at me,” she explained further.

“It all makes sense now,” he said softly.

“What does?”

“When I was 13 the seniors had a cheerleader invite me onto the football field and convinced me to strip down to my underwear, she was about to kiss me when all the football guys ran out and beat me up, they tied me to the goal post and the one said ‘we should really hook you up with bugs bunny, you losers would be perfect together.’ And they left me there all night long.”

“Oh Spencer I am so sorry,” she cuddled in close to him, placing her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “I think we went through our traumas separately all these years because something bigger than us knew we’d need each other one day.”

“When we get back to Virginia, would you like to go on a date with me?” Spencer asked.

“I would want nothing more.” She hugged him a bit tighter.

They stayed like that for a while until Spencer felt Y/N slip into the night's slumber. He quietly reached for the lamp, turning it off and readjusting himself under Y/N’s grasp.

He fell asleep not so long after. Both sleeping soundly for the first time in a long time.

Chapter 2

They had 3 back to back cases once they arrived back at Quantico. They travelled from DC to California to North Carolina within 2 weeks of Y/N working with the BAU.

Meaning she had not yet gone on that date Spencer asked her out on.

“If we get another call as soon as I reach that elevator I am leaving and not coming back. I am exhausted,” Emily said as she packed her bag and all but sprinted for the door.

“I hope my car still runs, it’s been parked here for so long now,” Y/N added and she walked towards the door. “You coming Spence?”

“Yeah, I’ll meet you at the car,” he said with a smile as he waved her off.

Emily and Y/N waited for the elevator, Penelope and JJ quickly followed behind them with their bags in their hands. Penelope’s heels clicked as fast as they could against the floor as she tried to catch up.

“Girls night?” JJ asked, “Will said Henry is asleep and he’s about to go to bed too, so I’m free for a bit?”

“I have to go home, I’ve barely moved into my new apartment, I still have to unpack,” Y/N explained.

“How about we come have some wine and help you?” Emily offered.

“If I’m being honest, I kinda want some alone time with Spencer.” She blushed bright red.

“Oooooo,” Penelope and JJ teased.

“It’s about time someone gave Spencer the attention he deserves,” Emily laughed.

“Believe me he’s going to get too much attention now that I live across the hall from him, work with him and carpool with him,” she giggled right back. “Has he never had a girlfriend before?”

“Not that we know of,” JJ said, “he’s very quiet.”

“Have you?” Penelope asked, “dated before that is?”

“oh no, I’ve never dated anyone before, I haven’t even kissed anyone in years,” she said feeling bashful and embarrassed.

“I think that's what Spencer needs though,” Emily added, “He needs someone on the same level as him all ‘round, you two match in every sense it’s almost perfect.”

“He’s probably the only man who doesn’t make me feel scared like I want my first real love to be with someone I feel safe with, I don’t think I could do anything with like, Morgan or Hotch or any men like them. They’re nice, yeah but the aggressive authority side isn’t something I’m comfortable around outside of work.” She explained.

“Yeah, Spencer is a sweetheart. I think that’s why I didn’t end up with him honestly.” JJ said softly, “Gideon tried to hook us up years ago cause we were the youngest on the team, but I do crave that authority outside of work.”

“It’s probably because you’re in power here. You handle the media, you wear the pants and you get shit done,” Y/N said, “you want to go home and be taken care of by a man who knows how to run a household.”

“Exactly!” JJ laughed.

“I want to be taken care of, yes, but I rather be the caretaker at home. I just want someone who will do their own thing with me in the same room, to kiss me before we go to bed and make sure I know they love me.” Y/N said softly, only picturing a life with Spencer as she said it.

The elevator never moved the whole time they were in there, it dinged and opened to Spencer and Morgan waiting. “You guys are that tired you didn’t even make it to your cars?” Morgan teased.

“didn’t even push the button actually,” Y/N chimed in.

“We were having girl time,” Penelope smiled.

“well let’s go home finally,” Morgan and Spencer walked in, pressing the button to the garage and riding down in silence.

Spencer waited for Y/N to exit the elevator last before walking with her to her car. She unlocked it and got in, watching and waving as her new friends pulled out of the garage.

“Ready?” She asked, pulling out as soon as she saw Spencer nod his head with his cute little pressed-lip smile.

They drove home in silence, enjoying the peace and quiet for the first time in weeks. The drive was quick, 30 minutes in the cold, dark, Virginia wilderness.

She parked in their parking lot, yawning as she turned the car off. She grabbed her purse from the back seat and made her way inside with Spencer.

“You going to sleep?” She asked him when they reached her door.

“Probably not, my brain is still too caught up in the cases,” he said honestly.

“Would you like to come in for some tea? To calm down before bed?” She offered as she unlocked her door.

She stepped inside, unlocking the alarm with the 4 digit code. Spencer tried his best not to listen but he failed, he’ll remember the sound of the code forever now.

She flicked on the light and looked around at the mess she left in her living room. “God I forgot it’s a mess in here,” she groaned.

Spencer followed her inside, following her lead and dropping his bag on the floor. He watched as Y/N walked around the house with her hand on her gun, clearing each room to make sure it was still safe.

“Sorry, I live alone, I don’t take any chances,” she said as she came back into the room.

She unlocked her safe and placed her work gun inside, closing it and spinning the lock right after. She let out a deep sigh, stretching her arms out over her head. “It’s so nice to be back in this mess.”

“I can help you unpack this weekend?” Spencer offers.

“If you want to that would be nice, I’ll order us some take out too.”

She picked up the boxes on her couch and moved them to the floor, she cleared off her coffee table and took the lamps out of the box in the corner. She plugged them into the wall and set them on the end tables. Luckily her furniture was in place all she had to do was put out all her little trinkets, books and photos.

Spencer took a seat on her couch, opening a box with mugs and cups, taking them all out of their bubble wrapping and setting them on the coffee table.

Y/N managed to find her kettle, as well as the box of random food she brought from her old cupboard. She set out a variety of teas and digestive biscuits.

Spencer slowly brought the mugs over, placing them in the cupboard of Y/N’s choosing, making sure he left 2 mugs out for them.

“Can I have a green tea?” Spencer asked softly.

“Of course, is it your favourite?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I would like some caffeine but I’m not interested in having a coffee, so this is a good middle ground.”

“I’m not a fan of most hot drinks, that's why I drink ice coffee in the mornings,” Y/N poured the hot water into both cups, leaving room for milk in both mugs just in case. “But, Orange Pekoe is my favourite.”

She placed a tea bag in each mug and handed Spencers to him.

She watched him add a little sugar to his mug before picking it up and returning to the sofa. She followed him shortly after adding milk and sugar to her own, as well as a plate of cookies.

She sighed as she settled in to the couch. “Going to try my hardest to manifest a full weekend off, with no cases, if my spirit guides loved me they will listen.” She jokes.

“You’re spiritual?” He asks.

“A little?” She shrugs, “I’m very into natural medicine, lunar cycles, manifesting and affirmations. Basically what would be considered a witch back in the day.”

“Do you enjoy it?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I had a pretty invasive surgery when I was 17, and because of the body trauma, I developed fibromyalgia. And there really aren’t any answers or explanations for it so I had to turn to something to bring me peace and pain relief.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through that.”

“It’s okay, eating right, taking my supplements, sleeping and exercise help. Basically, if I take care of myself my body will thank me,” she huffed out a small laugh. “It’s annoying waking up in pain randomly for no reason. I rather wake up sore from taking down an unsub, at least then, the pain is more like a reward, you know?”

Spencer nodded along and smiled softly, “I’m glad you found something that helps you.”

“How about you? I’m guessing you’re a science-only man?”

He laughed, “yes.”

“So do you believe in soulmates?” She asked on a whim.

“In the scientific sense of the word yes. I believe when the big bang happened, all the atoms, electrons and particles that split to make the universe as we know it, still exist in us today. Who’s to say that they don’t pull back to each other, causing a cosmic connection,” Spencer explained softly, his voice low as he explained himself.

Y/N set her drink down, moving in closer to him on the couch. “And how do you know when you’ve met your other half?” She asked. Her voice was just as low.

Spencer set his mug down as well, he placed his warm hand on her cheek, “I think everything would just make sense with them. They’d orbit each other's lives for so long, observing and acknowledging one another and finally one day they’ll connect.”

He leaned in and pressed his perfectly soft lips against hers. She reached her hand around the back of his neck and held him into the kiss. Breathing in deeply through her nose, trying to keep the moment forever.

She pulled back, her breathing was deep as she opened her eyes to look into his. “If you weren’t just explaining the big bang to me, I’d think that was it.”

He laughed at her joke, making both of their hearts soar. She pressed him back against the sofa, adjusting themselves so that she was lying partially on top of him as they cuddled in her crowded living room.

They could hear the sound of the world going on around them. The subtle hum of the subway below them. The distant car horns, someone upstairs was walking around in their apartment.

They were completely quiet then, just cuddled up in their own world without any distractions. The two of them let their hands wander each other as they laid there.

Y/N slowly sat up, peeling herself out of Spencer's grip. “Do you want to spend the night here?”

“I’m just going to run across the hall and get ready for bed, I can lock up when I come back?” He said softly.

“Okay, the button with the person inside the house is the one you hold down on the alarm system after you lock both locks,” she explained before standing up and walking into her bedroom.

She changed into a pair of shorts, a sports bra, and a tank top. She brushed her teeth and hair, throwing it up in a little bun. She took out her contacts, replacing them with her glasses. She washed her face, watered her plants and sat down in her bed finally.

She had her hand on her night side drawer, where she keeps her other gun, just in case the person coming into her house wasn’t Spencer. But then she heard the alarm system arm, both locks clicked, the sound of dishes being placed in the sink and finally the sound of a lamp being clicked off.

Spencer slipper clad feet against the hardwood floor is all she heard as he walked into her room. He took the right side of the bed, wearing his PJ bottoms and a regular t-shirt. It was really the first time she was him so dressed down.

She settled down into the bed, she put her glasses on her side table, plugged in her phones and turned out the light. Spencer spooned into her, cuddling in tight and holding her against his chest.

“Goodnight, Spencer.” She whispered.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

She didn’t fall asleep right away. She basked in the glory that was Spencer Reid’s warm embrace. The feeling of his breath against her neck and his hand on her stomach.

“I love you.” Was the last thing she thinks she heard before she finally fell asleep.

—

She woke up to her phone ringing. She reached over to the nightstand and clicked talk. “SSA Y/L/N,” she said.

“Hey, it’s Penelope.”

“What’s up?”

“Not a case don’t worry, I was just wondering if I could stop by with some iced coffee and breakfast sandwiches to help you unpack?” She asked way too cheerfully for whatever time it was.

“Uh yeah just give us a chance to wake up, can you come by in 30?” She said as she rubbed her eyes, waking up.

“Us?”

“Uh, yeah, Spencer came in for tea and slept on the couch,” she lied.

“No I didn’t,” he groggily chimed in from where he was cuddled into the crook of Y/N’s neck.

“Right okay, so I’ll bring Spencer some breakfast too then,” she said before hanging up.

Y/N placed the phone back on her night table, settling back into Spencer’s embrace.

“Why’d you lie?” He asked.

“Didn’t know if I had your consent to tell her about us yet,” she whispered into his hair as she placed kisses on his head.

“Morgan told me if I didn’t kiss you last night, he’d make me do another round of physical evaluations,” he smiled against her skin. “He wanted to win the bet everyone set to see who would kiss who first.”

“So you just helped the guys win?”

“Prentiss, Morgan and Hotch were betting for me to kiss you first,” he admitted.

“Well, that means Rossi, Garcia and JJ think I’m the one wearing the pants here. Good to know,” she giggled.

“You can wear the pants,” he said as he shifted his weight to look up at her, “as long as I get to take them off later.”

“Well, Dr. Reid, I never thought you’d have it in you,” she was pleasantly surprised.

“When I get comfortable around someone I’m a lot different than I am at work,” he explained, “I heard what you said about needing someone to take care of who still wants to take care of you.”

She blushed, “of course you did.”

He leaned down to kiss her jaw and down her neck. “I think we can work something out,” he whispered.

Her breathing hitched. She couldn’t believe the complete 180º his personality just took, and she wasn’t complaining. All the moisture left her mouth as she just nodded her head in agreement.

“We should get up before she gets here,” he said, kissing her one last time before crawling out of bed.

She laid there staring up at the ceiling, shocked, flabbergasted, enamoured, basically every single word that essentially meant ‘what the fuck just happened.'

She got up, turned off the alarm and waited to use the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and replaced her tank top with a sweater. Spencer slipped across the hall to change into jeans and a button-down shirt, almost like he couldn’t be in anything else around his friends.

Penelope was a hugger, she made sure to give Y/N a good squeeze as she walked into her apartment. “It’s literally the same as Reid’s just backwards,” was the first thing she said.

“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t been over there yet,” Y/N smiled, taking the coffees out of Penelope’s hands and setting them on the counter.

“JJ and Emily said they’d love to come help later too if you want them to, but it doesn’t look too bad for just the 3 of us,” she said looking around.

“Everything is labelled, my room is all done so you don’t need to worry about it, set up however you see fit, honestly, I’m at a bit of a loss figuring out how to make this place feel more like me with what I have.”

“Alright, well,” she started, looking for the box with the cleaning supplies. “First we clean the kitchen then we put everything where it has to go.”

So that's what they did, they spent a few hours wiping down every surface in the house, disinfecting the floors, the walls, door handles, nobs, everything. Then Penelope got out all her pots and pans, hanging them on the rack above the kitchen island.

Spencer took all the plates out, stacking them neatly in the cabinet. Y/N stacked her cups and glasses, placing them on the shelf with the glass door. They organized her utensils, baking equipment, cookbooks and aprons, asking all about how much she baked.

She offered to make cookies for the team soon, that was a Sunday night with Spencer activity for sure.

In the living space, there weren’t many things. Spencer unpacked the books and placed them on her shelves in library-coded order. While Penelope and Y/N unboxed all her albums and records, cheering and singing along to their favourites.

Y/N had never quite had friends like this before, people who just fit into her life so easily. This was really the best family in the FBI, they knew how to make someone feel completely and wholly loved.

“I need to get some art and stuff,” Y/N said staring at the one empty wall.

“What are you going to do on the fireplace mantle?” Spencer asked, noticing it was still empty.

“Probably some of my spiritual stuff, like my crystals and candles and incense,” she smiled.

“oh, I do that too!” Another thing they had in common.

The day blew past them. They finished unpacking and breaking down all the boxes by 2 pm, finally sitting down altogether, exhausted. Ready to order a few pizzas and chill for the rest of the afternoon.

—

“I really appreciate the help today,” she said as she hugged Penelope. Penelope’s hugs were more comforting than her own mother’s, she thought. Holding her tightly and taking it all in. “I’m so blessed I ran into Spencer and now I get to be your friend.”

“I will cry,” she joked as she hugged y/n tighter. “I’m very blessed to have met you as well.”

She hugged Spencer on her way out as well, forcing herself to leave or else she would have stayed and talked for hours.

As soon as Spencer closed the door behind her, he set the alarm the way Y/N liked it. She smiled at him, seeing him remember how she likes to feel completely safe.

She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him in. “Would you like to make out with me on my bed?”

“Like horny teenagers?” He giggled, dropping his forehead to rest on hers.

“We never really got the horny teenage experience,” she said softly.

“Are you-?” He cut himself off before he could say the word.

She looked up at him, her eyes big and innocent, she nodded. “technically.”

“Technically?” He repeated softly.

“I don’t want to count my sexual assault as my first,” she whispered. “I’ve never let anyone touch me since.”

His arms wrapped tighter around her, pulling her in closer to be right against his chest. He kissed her cheeks, her chin, forehead, nose, and finally her lips. “I’m going to try my best to never hurt you.”

She kissed him deeper, her hand on the back of his neck, never wanting to part from him. But when she did, she whispered, out of breath. “Promise to only hurt me if I ask you to?”

He saw the way his breath hitched and the way his grip changed. His face went red as he nodded feverishly.

“Are you a virgin Dr. Reid?” She teased.

“No,” he whispered. “I uh had sex in college, just to get it out of the way.”

She broke out of his grasp, taking his hand and pulling him into her bedroom. She closed the door behind them flicking on her fairy lights and lighting a couple of candles. He sat patiently on her bed as he watched her nervously organize things that had no reason to be organized in that moment.

But he let her calm down until she was fully ready, or she changed her mind. Either way, he was going to hang out with her all night long, however she wanted him.

“Close your eyes,” she asked softly. “Lay back against the bed and don’t look at me yet.” She ordered him and he listened.

He pressed his eyes closed and scooted up the bed till his head was on a pillow, laying back with his hands over his eyes. He listened closely to the sound of her taking her clothes off. She tried to steady her breath as she pulled off her sweater and sports bra and replace it with something cute.

She put on her only pair of matching underwear, ones she got on sale at some department store that she only wore for herself so far. She crawled up the bed, sitting directly on Spencer's hips.

She took his hands off his eyes, noticing they were still closed, she smiled. She placed his hands on her bare hips. “Open them.”

He opened his eyes to the most stunning image he’s ever seen in his life. Blinking a few times as his mind burned the image into the back of his eyelids for the rest of time. “Fuck,” he whispered.

She smiled to herself, “thought you’d like it.”

She leaned down, arching her back and kissed his neck. His hands travelled from her thighs to her perched ass as she kissed up his jaw to his ear. He was nothing but breathy moans and thank you’s as she explored him.

She ground herself down on his growing erection, smirking against his skin. She sat back on his hips, wiggling as she undid each of his shirt buttons, way too slow.

She took her time, pulling the front of his shirt out of his jeans and finally spreading the shirt open. Her hands ran over his chest before she used her nails to scrape her way down to his jean buttons.

He reached for her hands then. Stopping her and looking up into her eyes. “Before we start, I need to know what will trigger you,” he said softly.

“Oh,” her face dropped a little, she was a little overwhelmed with the fact he was asking, but she knew he truly cared. “I can’t do blowjobs yet, I will probably have a panic attack.”

“I can live without them,” he smirked, “look at everything else you do, fuck you’re amazing.” His hands roamed her skin the whole time.

She tucked her ankles under his knees and in one swift moment flipped them from laying on his side of the bed to the middle. He was on top of her now, absolutely amazed that she could do that.

“Told you I was combat trained,” she giggled.

Spencer sat up on the bed, ripping his shirt off and pushing himself out of both his jeans and underwear at the same time. Her mouth couldn’t help but fall open and the sight of his perfect cock bouncing free.

He sat back, trying to tug his jeans off of his ankles when he fell back and landed on the hardwood floor, “Spencer!” She couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from her.

He huffed, clearly embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” she quickly bit her lip to try and stop laughing.

“When you said horny teenager phase I didn’t think you meant the awkward part too,” he smiled, standing completely naked in front of her.

“Get back here,” she giggled.

He got right back on top of her, between her legs that she wrapped immediately around him. Locking him in place. “How would you like it?” He asked.

“Well hypothetically,” she began with a smirk, “I think I would like to ride you, sitting up, tits in your face, the whole shebang.”

He forgot how to breathe, the most beautiful girl in the world just laid out how she wants to be fucked like it was a science experiment.

He was in love with her.

She flipped him again, “you have to stop doing that!” He gasped.

She laughed as she sat up, getting off him enough so he could sit up against the headboard. She shimmied out of her underwear before sitting down on him again, their most intimate parts just resting close to one another. She shivered at the feel of his hot skin against hers. She’d never been this close to another human before.

“Do you have a condom?” He asked, suddenly shy.

“If you want one yeah but I have an IUD in case I get,” she stopped herself, “you know, in the field.”

“Yeah that's smart,” he was so nervous.

She leaned in and kissed him. Holding his cheeks in her hands as his hands reached behind her back to undo her bra. She opened her mouth to let him explore with his tongue as she felt the straps of her bra slip down her shoulders.

She let go of his face one hand at a time and peeled the bra from her skin. Flinging it across the room without looking and pressing her breasts against his chest.

She gets on her knees without breaking the kiss, reaching between them she grips the base of his cock. His breath hitches in his throat and she can feel his pulse in his shaft.

She drags the head through her folds, she breaks the kiss to breathe in his ear, “you know, you’re just a bit bigger than what I'm used to.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

She lines him up with her and slowly pushes down on him, pulling up and back down again, each time getting his cock a little wetter on her juices so he can slip in easier. “I think it was called the emerald stud, he’s in a box over there,” she whispers in his ear as she bottoms out.

She sits back, her arms around his shoulders, she rocks on his cock. His eyes slip shut as he dips his head back against her crossed wrists. “Fuck,” he breathes.

She shifts again, bouncing more on him when she’s used to his size. His hands are on her ass again, helping her bounce as he moved to kiss her neck and collarbones.

He’s all noises, hot breath against her chest and sloppy kisses. She reaches between them to rub her clit before he pushes her hand out of the way to rub her himself. Feeling how swollen she is, he squeezes her clit lightly.

She moans out a high pitches squeak that she had no idea she could make, covering her mouth as she bounced a little harder on his cock. “Fuck Spencer,” she whispered into his hair.

He kissed her ear again, “you want me to cum in you?” He asks.

“God yeah, fill me up,” she replies without thinking, tossing her head back and grinding down ever so provocatively on him.

She presses her front against him more, causing the friction from his index finger on her clit to get more intense as she bucks her hips faster and faster against him.

He’s gone. Absolutely destroyed. He cants even worn her that he’s about to cum he just tips his head back and fucks up into her, gripping her ass so tight that he knows she’s going to have 5 deep, finger-shaped, purple bruises around each ass cheek.

Her orgasm rips through her, losing balance with her shaking thighs she gasps for air, falling into him with her face in the crook of his neck. She is breathing so hard as she comes down, she drools on his neck a little.

He pulls his hand out from between them, flicking her clit on last time. Sending a tremor through her body. She twitches against him, tensing up and tightening around the cock still inside her.

He moans once more, and she feels the tiniest trickle of cum slip out of her as he lifts her off him.

They don’t talk. They just hold onto one another, breathing and rubbing their hands over each other's skin.

“Wow,” Spencer finally says.

“Yeah,” she agrees.

“Hypothetically,” he says with a smile, “I think the outcome we reached was the intended goal?” Only Spencer Reid would make a joke like that after sex.

She laughed and kissed his neck, “very successful, I would be willing to switch techniques next time to see if we can repeat this outcome.”

“Sounds like a date.”

chapter 3

They worked together perfectly. Every morning he’d head across the hall to his own apartment to get ready, coming back to a slice of toast and coffee in his travel mug ready to go.

She looked gorgeous every morning. She put time and effort into what she wore to work, just to chase psychopaths all day. He was in love with her, its the only thing he knew for sure when he looked at her. He was never going to recover from falling for her.

He’d hold all her things while she sets the alarm and locks the door. She would drive them to work each morning and even then he’d carry all her things up to the office.

Everyone noticed how Spencer changed around Y/N, he was always smiling, he was basically glowing from being in love, and having sex. Derek teased him constantly, but in all honesty, he was really proud of his little bro.

They had a slow day, which meant all the ladies filed into Penny’s office to shoot the shit when they were really supposed to be writing reports.

“So?” Penelope looked at Y/N with an arched eyebrow. “How is he?”

She shook her head and giggled to herself. “Really good.”

“Really?” Emily pried?

“He has this other personality that comes out when we, you know,” she was afraid to say fuck inside the walls of Penelope’s office. “I’m addicted, I was so afraid to have sex and now I’m like having an internal battle of is it really worth getting caught in the filing room for a quicky!”

They all burst into laughter, sharing stories of all the times each of them has fucked at work, “you won't get caught if you let us help you?” JJ said with a smirk.

“You’re kidding?” Y/N tilted her head, not believing her.

“I can ask Morgan and the team to lunch while you stay here, text Spencer saying to stay back to get work done but he can meet you in here.” Penelope planned the whole thing.

“No,” Y/N shook her head. “I don’t think I’m comfortable enough for that yet.” She was being completely honest.

“We need a code word for when you choose to use this plan,” Emily said. “Like you group text us the word ‘switch’ and we will keep everyone busy for you and Spence.”

“Why do you want me to fuck him here so bad?”

They all laughed, “because we’re not used to Spence getting this kind of love!” JJ said. “Emily and Penelope covered for me literally when me and Will made Henry.”

“having a hand in making my godson gave me a god complex,” Penelope joked.

They got along fabulously, laughing and working all afternoon before the boys came to get them.

“We got something.”

Y/N walked out first joining Spencer in the hall with a smile, standing close enough to him as they walked that their knuckles rubbed together. She sat beside him in the briefing room, opening the case file in front of her and flipping through the info.

“Wow,” she whispered to herself. “I know a few of the 13 women, I put them in the missing system.”

Spencer rubs his hand over her back softly, looking at the pages she’s flipping through.

Garcia wasn’t cheery anymore, she grabbed the remote for the tv and started her rundown.

“Over the last 6 days, police in Winnemucca Nevada have dug up 13 bodies of women who have gone missing in the last 10 years. He seems to kill sporadically without patterns. M.E has confirmed all 13 women, and de-comp shows they were all killed within 24 hours of going missing.”

“Cause?” Prentiss asked.

“All 13 were strangled with plastic shopping bags, that were left wrapped around their faces in the graves. They were all sexually assaulted antemortem, but not all of them died from asphyxiation. He also stabbed 9 of the 13 victims, 5 of which died from massive blood loss. But the real kicker was that all 13 of them had their wombs removed.” Penelope finished.

“Do we know if any of them were pregnant?” Y/N asked.

“Yes,” she said flipping through slides, “victim number 13, Traci Purcell was 17 and according to her autopsy, her HCG levels indicated she would have been 3 weeks along when she was murdered.”

“Are they able to see if the others were pregnant?” Hotch asked.

“They’re working on it, best bet will be for me to pull medical records and to ask the family.”

“Wheels up in 30,” Hotch nodded towards the door.

Slowly but surely they all filed into the plane, Y/N took a window seat, quickly burying her head in the file, looking at each and every victim carefully.

“Spence, would you help me place the geographical profile?” Y/N asked him softly as he got comfortable in the seat across from her.

“Once we take off we can spread out the map,” he smiled softly back at her. Even when dealing with the hard cases they managed to get caught up in each other's eyes.

“Okay love birds, can I sit here too or will I get more than air sickness?” Morgan said, pretending to feel sick as he sat beside Y/N.

She smacked his arm lightly.

“Speaking of,” Spencer said, stopping to swallow nervously. “Hotch I’m going to need 2 of the workplace fraternization forms when we get back.”

Everyone on the plane cheered at him, he got 3 high-fives and all the congratulations in the world. Y/N immediately felt her face warm up.

“Don’t worry, Garcia filed them for you that night she helped you unpack,” Hotch smiled into his paperwork.

“How did she even know?” Y/N’s voice went up 3 octaves as she panicked.

“At least we know when pretty boy lost his V card now,” Morgan smirked.

“No, just me.” Y/N corrected him. To which Spencer was given yet another high five.

Just then Spencer was handed $20 from Rossi, Hotch, and Morgan. Y/N raised an eyebrow, “why?”

“I bet them $20, years ago, that I am in fact not a virgin and they said they would and I quote ‘only pay me if a woman who has fucked me confirms it.’ So who’s going to tell Gideon to pay up?” He explains.

The team carried on like normal after all the excitement died down. Having side conversations, working on the case, sleeping. The trip from Quantico to Winnemucca was fairly quick.

Y/N sat with Spencer at the table, spreading out the map and watching him place where all 13 victims disappeared from as well as where they were found. They were spread over 3 subdivisions, all 35 miles at least away from the burial sites.

“The park,” Spencer said softly.

“Is that the middle ground?”

“Yeah there’s something significant with the park,” Spencer confirms.

—

Spencer and Y/N went to the M.E together, all 13 women were labelled and displayed under white sheets. They took their time looking over each skeleton and the bodies.

“Clean cuts on the stomach, I wonder why he didn’t stab her?” Spencer said as he looked at the 13th victim.

“She might have cooperated better, or and I hate to say it but, seeing as she was Asian there is a high chance she didn’t bear resemblance to the source of the unsubs rage meaning she got to go out a little easier,” Y/N suggested with a disgusted look on her face.

“The 5 who died of blood loss were all white, brown hair, green eyes. 3 were 26, 2 were 29. They might be exactly his type,” Spencer confirmed the theory.

“They were also murdered,” she flipped her notebook open to show a chart with 5 columns. “June, February, June, November, November. Could also mean something to him.”

“What is that?” Spencer asks.

“It’s a chart that has the name, their age, the missing date and last scene location, the estimated date of death, and the cause. So that I can easily refer to the most important info when making a connection,” She explained. “My brain works better if I can see everything, so I also have my own little hand-drawn map of the area on his page as well as all my ideas in case I don’t get a turn to speak.”

“That’s really smart,” he smiled.

“So June, November and February might be significant to him.”

“Let’s go tell Hotch.”

Spencer drove for once, Y/N sat in the passenger seat in the SUV, doodling into her notebook.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Spencer asked.

“I wrote down the first letter of each month,” she explained, showing him the notebook. “And I circled each of the 3 months that repeat, February, June and November.”

“Okay?” He followed along.

“From February to November it’s 10 months or 40 weeks which is the typical length of a pregnancy,” She explained further. “This whole thing is clearly about pregnancy seeing as he is taking wombs. It’s clearly not a woman seeking revenge because of the sexual assault so it has something to do with him seeking revenge for a pregnancy in his life.”

“Could even be his own, like he’s punishing women who look like his mother because he wishes he was never born,” Spencer ponders.

They pulled into the police station, she got out and walked in all with her head still in the notebook. “Find anything?” Hotch asked.

“Of course she did,” Spencer bragged about her.

—

They all took a break, going back to their hotels to get some rest. All agreeing that since the media hasn’t released anything about this case yet the killed has no idea. They take it in faith that he will stick to his 2 to 4 month waiting period.

They all returned the next morning, refreshed and ready to resume their findings. JJ and Emily spent most of the morning interviewing families of the victims, specifically asking if they knew the vic was pregnant as well as what significance the park played in or around their pregnancies.

Y/N sat in silence with a coffee, flipping through her notebook. Hotch and Morgan were running over ideas they all had with Garcia on the phone.

“Hey, Spence?” Y/N called boy wonder over from the map he had been staring at.

“Yes, my love?” He says softly.

“I think I have an idea, can you go over it with me before we tell the team?” She asked.

“Of course,” he took a seat beside her.

“Why do I have an IUD?” She asks him in a whisper.

“In case you get raped in the field,” he whispered back.

“More specifically.”

“So you don’t get pregnant as a result of a rape in the field.”

“The sexual assaults in his mind, are him getting these victims pregnant. But they’re already pregnant when he picks them right?” She explains, “So that when he removes the uterus postmortem it's his way of aborting the child.”

“So this is all about abortion?” Spencer confirms.

“More specifically to do with how you said he regrets being born,” she corrects.

“Do you think he’s the product of a failed abortion?”

She nodded her head, “yeah and that by taking the whole uterus, and the strangling, and the stabbing, both mother and baby are for sure dead.”

“Hotch!” Spencer called across the room. “Y/N figured it out.”

They waited for JJ and Prentiss to finish an interview before they all piled into an office to discuss Y/N’s idea.

“Is there even any way to know if someone is the product of a failed abortion?” Prentiss asked after Spencer and Y/N took turns explaining how they came to their conclusion.

“Probably the best way would be to search for babies born with the common disabilities that occur in babies of failed abortions, but make sure they were born in November,” Y/N explained.

“Why November?” Penelope asked over the phone.

Y/N took a whiteout marker and started writing on the whiteboard.

“The 5 victims that died from loss of blood were all exactly the same, they were murdered in June, February, June. November and November.” She explained.

Writing “J F M A M J J A S O N D” on the whiteboard. Circling February, June and November.

“February, conception. 10 months later, or 40 weeks, is November. June is 4 months along meaning that would be when the mother either had the abortion, be it medical or homemade,” Y/N explained.

“Last year alone 146 of the 164,045 abortions resulted as a failure. When this happens most women choose to have the second procedure, or a D and C. Or they can carry the baby the rest of the way to term,” Spencer explained. “Children brought to term from a first-trimester medical abortion failure often have limb or digit abnormalities while infants born from non-medical approved abortions are more likely to have congenital problems.”

“However someone without a limb would not be able to do what our unsub is capable of. Digging graves, abducting, dragging dead bodies, it’s a lot of effort,” JJ added.

“Exactly, which is why I think our unsub probably has a mental disability.”

“Non-medical abortions, most often referred to as the poor person’s method, is taking a non-FDA approved ulcer treatment drug called Misoprostol, which is causing an epidemic of birth defects all along South America and parts of Asia,” Spencer added. “It induces contractions, causing women to deliver babies far too early to survive outside of the womb. If taken after the first trimester, and unsuccessful it can cut off oxygen to the brain long enough to permanently damage development in the frontal lobe.”

“Did the families mention anything about the park?” Y/N asked Prentiss and JJ.

“So far 4 of the victim's husbands say their wives announced they were pregnant on park benches, near the children swinging. They said it was the typical, ‘that could be us one day, that day came sooner than you thought’ moments from movies.” JJ confirmed.

“Let’s deliver the profile,” Hotch announced, following them all into the precinct.

—

They spent the next few hours looking for anyone with birth defects or mental disabilities that could be a potential suspect. Asking the other officers as well as anyone around the park about the type of man they were looking for.

Morgan and JJ patrolled the park while Rossi and Prentiss asked around on the street.

“Lynette Hayward,” Y/N whispered to herself, standing up and rushing through all the papers on the table in front of her.

“She was the only one who wasn’t pregnant, she was the only one who wasn’t reported missing, she was the oldest and in her youth, she had brown hair and green eyes. What if she’s his mother?” Y/N expressed to Spencer and Hotch who were watching her scramble around.

She pulled her phone out and called Garcia, “what’s cooking good lookin’?” Penelope answered.

“Can you help unscramble my egg brain?” She joked right back.

“Sure thing, whatcha got?”

“Lynette Hayward, does she have children, was she ever pregnant, or put someone up for adoption?”

“Let me check into it and I will call you right back!” Garcia said, hanging up and going right to work.

“Is there anyone here who knew Lynette Hayward about 30 years ago? She would have been 26 to 29, my height, brown hair, and green eyes?” Y/N announced to the whole Police Department.

“I did,” an officer said, standing up from the desk on the other side of the room.

She waved him over, pulling out a chair and asking him to sit.

“Was Lynette ever pregnant?” Y/N asked.

He thought for a moment, licking his lips and harkening all the way back to his 20’s. “There was a summer that no one saw her."

"When was this?" Spencer asked.

"From June to November, not a single person saw her. We thought maybe she was doing summer classes somewhere,” he explained.

“Were there any children dropped off at a fire hall or a hospital that November?” Spencer asked.

“There was a baby left in the park, poor little guy had been left out there in the cold,” he said.

Hotch, Spencer and Y/N all took a deep breath and looked at each other. “That’s him.”

Garcia called back then, “I found 1 baby left abandoned in the park in November of 1979, he was diagnosed with a cleft lip and palate, seizures, and later on he was diagnosed with diabetes, Crohn’s disease and Asperger's syndrome.”

“Name and address?” Spencer asked.

“That's the difficult part, he was born, operated on and handed over to the state and cared for by a foster family that named him Jake Alexander Ingrid. At the age of 6, he was adopted by them fully. When he was 12 he dropped out of the public school system due to bullying that left him in the hospital with a broken arm. After that, his trail goes cold.”

“How cold?” Y/N asked.

“If I didn't know better I'd say he was the one missing not Lynette,” Garcia confirmed.

“Does anyone live in Lynette’s house?” Hotch asked.

The sound of Garcia’s typing was all they heard over the phone, “her bills are being paid on time, someone is in her trailer. I’ve sent the address to your phones.”

“Let’s go.”

Hotch kicked the trailer door in, “FBI!”

He was asleep, startled awake in the bed that used to belong to his birth mother. He cried, overwhelmed with the 3 guns pointed in his face. Hotch sighed, cuffing him and reading him his rights.

“Why are the worst ones always the sadist?” Y/N asked Spencer as they watched forensics tore apart the trailer.

“Sad in what context?”

“His whole life was so fucked up, it sucks. All those women crossed paths with him and he took his fucked up life and ended theirs, as well as their babies,” Y/N couldn’t stop shaking her head as she spoke, disgusted with the whole situation.

Spencer wrapped her up in a hug, “if we spend all our time wondering why the world is like this we won't have enough time to bring justice to the victims.”

“which is the best outcome we can ask for,” Y/N agreed.

“Dr, Reid, agent Y/L/N?” An officer interrupted their hug and watched them awkwardly pull away from each other quickly.

“Yes?” Spencer answered.

“We found the wombs.”

The worst fucking sentence she had ever heard. “I can’t look at that.” She said, walking away to join JJ and Prentiss standing by the SUV.

“Good job kid,” Morgan said, wrapping his arm around her. “You’re almost as smart as boy wonder over there.”

“Just call me Mrs, boy wonder then,” she joked.

“Don’t tempt him!” Prentiss joked.

Y/N turned back to see Spencer walking out of the trailer, a shade of green spreading across his skin. “Excuse me,” she said walking towards the ambulance that was on standby.

“Dr. Reid looks like he might be sick,” she said, taking an EMT with her towards him.

Sure enough, Spencer leaned over the bushes and hurled before passing out into the EMT’s arms. Morgan and Hotch came running over to him, helping get him into an ambulance.

“What happened?” Morgan asked.

“He took a look at the recovered womb’s the forensic team found,” Y/N explained.

“That would do it,” Hotch agreed.

Y/N rubbed her hand along Spencer’s shoulder, “good catch,” the EMT complimented her as he took Spencer's vitals.

“I know him well.”

“Too well,” Morgan agreed. “You’d think you were cut from the same cloth.”

“No,” she said softly, gripping Spencer’s hand in her own as he started to stir a little. “We’re cosmically connected, made from the same space rock that split during the big bang.”

“I love you,” he whispered, awake the whole time she was speaking.

“Yeah, yeah,” she teased him, “I know, save your strength, you’re still all pasty white.”

“Gross,” Morgan smiled, turning away from the ambulance

chapter 4

Prentiss convinced Y/N and Spencer to take the weekend off in Nevada to go visit their parents. They agreed that it would be nice, seeing as neither of them thought to tell their moms that they met again let alone that they were together.

Y/N walked into the Nursing home first, looking for her mom in her office as Spencer walked in quickly to go find his mother.

“Hey mom,” Y/N smiled as she knocked on her mother's office door.

“Y/N!” She yelled, shocked to see her eldest baby standing in front of her for the first time since last Christmas. “What are you doing here?”

“Remember how I moved?” She started there.

“Yes?”

“Well, my new neighbour ended up being Spencer Reid, and he introduced me to the BAU and I helped them with a case, so they hired me, and now I work for them and we just finished a case in Winnemucca and me and Spencer are dating. He’s here too and we’re taking the weekend off to tell you and Diana,” she had never rambled so fast to her mother before in her life.

“Holy shit?” Her mother was shocked, “this all happened in the last 3 weeks? Is that why you’ve been too busy to text me?”

“I’ve been on 5 cases in the last 3 weeks, I was swamped,” she smiled, her eyes welling with tears.

Her mom walked over to her and wrapped her up in her arms, holding her close. “My baby, this is everything you wanted why are you crying?”

“I haven’t taken a moment to actually understand that this is all real,” she whispered.

Her mother pulled back, looking in her eyes with a stern look. “Is he good to you?”

She laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes. “He’s wonderful.”

“Diana is in the game room, let’s go see them,” she tucked her arm under Y/N’s and the two of them walked arm in arm towards the game room.

Diana stood up as she saw them walk in, “Debbie’s daughter?” She asked.

Spencer nodded with a large smile on his face. “This is Y/N Y/L/N, my partner.”

“I know you,” Diana said softly, reaching out to pull her into a hug. “You would read to me on Thursdays after Spencer left for CalTech.”

“Really?” Spencer asked.

“I knew you were here as often as you could be, and I felt bad she didn’t have any other children to come see her,” Y/N explained. “I know if my mom was here and my brother couldn’t visit I’d fill in.”

“It was lovely, I still have the book you gave me before you left for the academy,” Diana’s smile was as big and bright as Spencer’s.

They all sat together, sharing stories with each other. It seemed like their mothers enjoyed sharing embarrassing kid stories to make Spencer and Y/N blush back and forth.

Before they knew it, it was 3 pm and visiting hours were coming to an end and Debbie’s shift was about to end as well. “Where are you both staying?” She asked.

“At a hotel downtown,” Y/N explained.

“Nonsense, stay with me and your father!” Debbie insisted.

Y/N shook her head, “we can come to visit for dinner tomorrow, but we need some space.”

“You know how it feels to be in love especially this young Deb, I’m sure you understand,” Diana patted her on the shoulder.

“Go on, have fun. But tomorrow dinner starts at 6:15, Levi and Lizzie also home this weekend,” Debbie smiled, hugging both Spencer and Y/N before Diana.

“Would Diana be able to come to dinner at our place?” Y/N asked.

“I think I can pull some strings,” Debbie agreed, “have a good night tonight guys.”

“We will,” Spencer smiled, taking Y/N’s hand and walking with her to the parking lot.

They both sighed as they sat in their rental car. “That went well,” Y/N said softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me you visited my mom?” Spencer asked, holding her hand again.

“I was going to, there’s so much I want to tell you but we haven’t had enough personal time to get through it all, every time we talk lately it’s about murder,” she replied.

“Let's go get a table at a nice restaurant and tell each other everything.”

“I have something to do first, can I drop you off at the hotel and meet you there?” She asked.

“absolutely.”

-—

She drove to her parent's place as fast as she could, they were all just sitting down in the living room when she walked in the door. “Hi sorry I can’t stay I just want to grab a dress from my closet.”

She kicked her shoes off and ran up the stairs to her bedroom just like she would have after school. Her room hadn’t changed much. Her desk was still in the corner, her bed was made, and her mom now used it for storage. There were boxes, lamps, pillows and a million folded blankets all resting on her bed and scattered along the floor.

She shuffled some things out of the way of her closet door and quickly looked through all the bagged dresses she had left here. Minoring in political science and volunteering with government organizations in college meant she had a dress for every occasion, times the 4 years she was there.

“Cocktail, dinner, black tie, prom, homecoming,” she flicked through them all, “funeral,” she said as she stopped. “Why is this here?”

She pulled out a black dress she wore to a democratic representatives fundraiser, it was an off-the-shoulder, 3/4 length sleeve, plunging neckline, skin-tight dress with a slit to show some leg. It was perfect.

She placed it on the edge of her bed and dug out the black heels that she originally bought to go with the dress. She found a strapless bra in her dresser, and a cute pair of underwear buried at the back of her drawer.

She closed her door and quickly changed, walking across the hall in her heels to fluff her hair in the mirror and figure out how the fuck she was going to do her makeup here.

Just then her brother's wife came walking up the stairs, “Y/N?” She knocked on the bathroom door before coming in.

“Hey Lizzie,” she smiled. “Do I look okay?” She asked.

Lizzie looked her up and down with a shocked look on her face, “yeah what’s the occasion? I didn’t even know you were home?”

“It’s a long story, my boyfriend and I were here on a case and we’re staying for the weekend, you get to meet him tomorrow!” She filled her in as she searched the bathroom drawers for makeup.

“What do you need?” She asked.

“Do you have your makeup kit here? We’re like the same shade right?”

Before she knew it, Lizzie was making her sit on the edge of the tub while she did Y/N’s makeup for her. “Remember when you did my prom makeup?” Lizzie asked.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “You and Levi looked so good together that night.”

“Not as good as you look right now, he’s going to eat you alive,” she hyped Y/N up.

“You think so?” Y/N asked, standing up to take a look in the mirror.

“Absolutely!!!”

She took a deep breath and shook the nerves out, “okay I have to go,” she said running back to her room for her phones, wallet and badge.

“Go get him, SSA Y/L/N,” Lizzie smiled as she watched y/n steadily run down the stairs in heels, clicking on the hardwood as she ran.

“Wait!” Her dad yelled from the table, “don’t I get to see you before you leave?”

She ran into the table room, quickly hugging her father at the head of the table and kissing him on his bald head. “I’m late for my date, I love you, I’ll be home tomorrow,” she said running back towards the front door and to her car.

She was like a mad chicken running around with her head cut off. She took a breather in the car before starting the engine and making her way back downtown.

--

She left her car out front with the valet, saying she would be back in a minute. She dug her phone out of her wallet and called Spencer. “I’m in the lobby.”

“I’ll be right there.”

She waited by the elevator, she pulled her boobs up into her bra and wiggled the wire till they looked okay, then she straightened her dress out. She never felt this nervous when she wore this dress the last time, she’s never felt this nervous period, actually.

Spencer Reid did something to her that she couldn’t quite describe. But if she had to, she’d say he makes her feel alive.

The elevator dinged and Spencer walked out in one of his best suits. He was looking down at his button as he stepped out not seeing her at first.

She smiled at him, waiting for him to look up. When he did his eyes grew three times their normal size and his mouth dropped. He stopped right in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders and lightly running his hands down her arms. “You never cease to amaze me.”

“Could say the same thing about you Dr. Reid,” Y/N teased as she pulled on his tie.

She pulled him down by his tie and pressed her lips against his. Never before had either of them been a big fan of PDA, but this was an exception.

She pulled back from him and tucked his tie back into his jacket. Smoothing out his sleeves before taking a step back and handing him the keys. “Lead the way doctor.”

He extended his arm to which she wrapped her arm around. He walked her to the front of the lobby, watching as the bellhop held the door for them.

Their car was still there, waiting with the valet who opened the door when he saw her return. She sat on the passenger side, fixing the slit of her dress to not show too much just yet.

Spencer joined her, sitting in the driver's seat he started the car and drove off.

He reached his hand over to place it on her thigh, where it belonged. He gripped her leg and felt down to where her holster was. She saw his eyebrow raise as he looked down, moving the side of her dress to see her gun strapped to her leg.

“Gonna shoot me if I’m not on my best behaviour tonight, agent?” He laughed.

“Nevada is a concealed carry state, and I don’t trust anyone,” she said. “Plus I look like this tonight, do you know what the crime rate is in Los Vegas-? Don’t answer that, of course, you do,” she teased him.

“It’s pretty hot,” he complimented her.

“What? The gun or my attitude?”

“The fact that you don’t take shit from anyone, you’re a badass and I never have to worry about you.”

“What if I want you to worry?”

“I’m always going to worry, I just mean you’re not a damsel in distress. I can go into every situation knowing you’re smarter on your feet than anyone on the team, and as long as you’re there we’re coming out alive,” he explained better.

“That’s the best compliment,” she felt bashful all of a sudden. She put her hand on his and squeezed it. “I love you, Spencer,” she finally told him.

“I love you too,” he smiled.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t said it back yet.”

He pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant they were going to, returning his focus fully to driving. He pulled into a parking spot and put the car in park.

“I knew you’d say it when you were ready, I’m in no rush to hear it,” he leaned over the centre console and kissed her on the lips.

He got out of the car and walked around to open her door, helping her out before extending an arm out for her once more.

He made a reservation while he was alone at the hotel, getting a table in the back away from everyone else. It was a round table with a booth stretching all the way around the table. The back of the chair tall enough to enclose them in their own little world for the time being.

They were at a cute little stake house, one where you got to pick the exact piece of meat you wanted and they did it however you asked. They ordered drinks and enough bread to make the waiter look at them differently.

“Tell me the most random fact about you,” Y/N asked as soon as the waiter left to tell the kitchen their order.

“When my mom’s schizophrenia started getting bad, she thought that the government used dryers to take our socks for DNA and clone us, so whenever one of my socks went missing she freaked out. After that, I started wearing mismatched socks all the time so that that way she would never notice which of the pairs were missing since I never wore them that way anyway.”

She smiled the whole time he talked, absolutely in love with him. He was her everything. “So that’s why I’ve got so many random socks around my house.”

“It’s worse at my apartment,” he smiled again. “Your turn.”

“The first time I ever rode a bike without training wheels was because I stole my neighbour's bike and took off with it down the road,” she laughed.

“Why?”

“I think my mom said I couldn’t take my own training wheels off yet, so I took matters into my own hands.”

“See?” He shook his head lightly. “Badass.”

“When was the last time you were in Vegas?” She asked.

“Earlier this year when we reopened the Riley Jenkins case,” he said softly.

“oh, my mom was telling me about that one! Your mom went off her meds to help remember if your dad was involved right?” Y/N recalled.

He nodded, “do you know what really happened?”

“I have the gist, Lou killed Gary in revenge for Riley.”

“That's not all of it,” he said lightly. “Gary was watching me, and my mom told Lou that the way he looked at me, he might have been the one who hurt Riley. And then she witnessed Lou kill Gary.”

“Holy shit Spence, I’m so sorry,” she said softly. “Did you know Gary was my neighbour?” ,

“No?”

“Yeah we were 4, my brother was 2 and my mom was pregnant again, and Gary kept taking photos of my brother through the fence. My dad threatened to kill him a few times and then we finally moved across town,” she explained.

“How is it that our lives were so intertwined, and yet it took 20 years for us to actually connect again?” He asked.

“The same thing happened to my parents.”

“What’s their story?” He asked.

She moved around the table to sit closer to him, taking his hand in hers. “My dad is 8 years older than my mom, they met when she was 17 and he was 26 and they became good friends like he was her older brother. They realized years later that my dad delivered newspapers to the town my mom lived in, and he saw her basically grow up playing in the yard. Then his best friend always invited him to his cabin and when he finally went, the lot across from them was my mom's family cabin. They were always so close but never knew each other till they were meant to. And now they’ve been happily married for 30 years.”

“There's an old Buddhist saying that, when you meet your soulmate, remember that the act to bring you together was 500 years in the making. So always appreciate and be kind to each other,” Spencer explained.

“It took 500 years of coincidences to bring us together,” she said softly. “Which kinda makes the 20 years of admiring you from afar not seem so long.”

“From here on out let’s make every moment count then,” Spencer suggested, “we’ve been barely dating for 3 weeks I’m not going to ask you to marry me right this instant, but I do intend to spend the rest of my life with you in whatever capacity I can. Because I think you’re it for me.”

She could bask in the feeling of her heart fluttering like this for the rest of her life, it was like butterflies but completely calm. True happiness at its finest.

“Let’s make a deal,” she said softly, “in 1 year we come back here, and if we feel the exact same way as we do right now, you can propose to me.”

He put his pinky out for her, she wrapped hers around his, before kissing each other's knuckles. “Promise.” Spencer and Y/N said at the same time.

—

Back in the hotel room, she didn’t even bat an eyelash before slamming Spencer against the door. She slid her thigh between both his legs and boxed him in.

She undid the single button of his suit jacket, shushing Spencer. She pushed it off his arms, knocking it to the floor. She loosened his tie, tossing it to the side, still around his neck, while she unbuttoned his shirt.

He was completely silent and still. She was in control.

She tossed his shirt to the ground next. Holding onto his tie as she pulled him down into a heated kiss.

“Take my dress off,” she breathed into his mouth, feeling his hands reach around her back for the zipper.

He pushed the sleeves down her arms, watching the dress gather at her ankles before she stepped out and kicked the fabric out of the way. She tugged him by his tie towards the bed.

“Strip,” she instructed him. “Not the tie.”

“Underwear too?” He asked as she dug through his suitcase.

“yes.”

She returned with 2 more ties. Looking at him, butt naked on the bed. She stepped out of her underwear and the uncomfortable strapless bra. She set her gun in the hotel safe with her badge and returned to the bed.

“Would you be willing to try something?” She asked.

“anything,” he said, overly eager.

“Would you tie my hands to the bedpost and blindfold me and just do whatever you want?”

“Hold on,” he got off the bed and opened his go-bag side pocket. “I have a blindfold for the plane.”

“So you want to?”

Actions speak louder than words, he would always say.

He dimmed the lights down, got on the bed and roughly picked her up laying her back against the pillows. He tied her left hand first, and then her right hand. He took a hair elastic off the bedside table and put her hair back as best he could before he rested the blindfold against her forehead.

He hovered over her. “Anything I want?” Spencer confirmed.

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“Ground rules?”

“Yellow for slow down, red for stop?” She shrugged.

“You really mean anything?”

“I trust you, Spencer Reid, make me feel good,” she smiled.

He kissed her on the nose before coving her eyes with the blindfold.

She had always wanted to try this, it was a kink she had always been determined to try. She took a deep breath and tried her best to listen to him as he moved to sit between her spread legs.

He ran his hands up her thighs, over her hips before following the curve to her waist. He gripped her waist tightly and leaned forward, pressing his mouth to her stomach, breathing her in as he kissed.

She wasn’t embarrassed about her tummy, for the first time in her life she loved her body. She felt him kiss all over her chest, dragging his bottom lip along her skin. He licked a stripe between her breasts, dropping his chin to her chest then to blow lightly over the wet trail.

She felt her nipples harden, she could physically hear the smirk that spread across his face.

He sucked one of her nipples into his mouth, cupping her breasts with his hands as he groped her lightly. She squirmed, trying her best to grind her hips against his.

He pushed her hips against the bed, “be patient.”

He disappeared then. She felt his weight shift and get off the bed. She let out a deep breath, knowing she told him he could do anything and that included punishing her. She literally asked for it.

“I picked something up after you dropped me off,” she heard him say from the other side of the room.

He walked around for a minute, taking something out of a hard plastic container. He struggled with ripping it, she heard papers fall the floor and something hard hit the floor. “Shit.”

She heard him walk towards the bathroom, she crossed her ankles and just waited.

He came back to the bed, moving her legs apart like they were when he left. “stay.”

He crawled between her legs once more, his hand brushed her thigh and it was cold and wet like he washed his hands.

“Can I touch you?” He asked softly. She nodded her head feverishly.

She heard a small buzzing, an all too failure sound. The first place she feels the vibration is in her belly button. Causing her to let out a shocked little giggle.

“Shhh,” he smiled.

He dragged the little bullet vibrator down her stomach, over her pelvis and finally, finally, against her clit. She let out a moan that sounded more like a sigh of relief.

All she wanted was for someone else to control her pleasure, surprise her, set the rhythm, the speed, everything. She spent so long pleasuring herself, she was so ready to sit back and just take it.

Spencer felt the same. He took his time, feeling every inch of her skin, kissing every single place he wanted to. He spent so much time just looking. Finding freckles and scars and kissing them. He was mesmerized by the fact she was real, that a beautiful woman would lay down in front of him, spread open like this and just let him explore. It felt like the best wet dream his brain could ever conjure.

She could feel him getting closer to her. His weight shifted and she felt his breath on her leg. She took a deep breath, sucking in her stomach in the anticipation of feeling a tongue on her for the first time ever.

He turned off the vibrator. Setting it to the side as he looped his arms around her thighs. Just admiring the view. Just then her whole body shivered as she anticipated the heat of his tongue.

He pressed a kiss to her clit first before flattening his tongue against her. “Sweet fucking Jesus Christ,” she gasped.

“I’ve never done this before,” he breathed against her.

“Explore away, sir,” she whispered.

He clearly did research, if he didn’t just say this was his first time eating someone out, she would think he was an expert. She regretted having her hands tied up at that moment. She squirmed, he held her hips down. She gripped the ties around her wrists wishing it was Spencer's hair.

She was never big into overstimulation or denial, never having the willpower to keep going after making herself cum once. Spencer, however, had the ability to bring her to the edge again and again without ever letting her spillover.

She didn’t beg, she didn’t complain, she sat there in the blissful feeling and waited. It was heavenly.

“Spence,” her breathing was heavy.

He hummed, letting her know he was listening. His tongue still wiggling back and forth on her clit.

“Can you please just fuck me now?”

He kissed his way back to her mouth. All up her stomach, over her breasts, her neck and jaw. She could taste herself on his lips, “untie me?” She asked softly.

He let one hand free, which she immediately used to grip his hair. The second hand was freed and she pushed the blindfold up and worked her way into a sitting position while he kneeled in front of her.

“Anything else you want to try?” She asked, wrapping her arms around his neck and looking into his eyes once again. She pushed his hair out of his face and just looked at him.

“Lie back and roll over,” he instructed.

He pulled her into a face-down, ass-up position and aligned himself with her. Pushing in little by little till he bottomed out. He reached around the bed for the vibrator and placed it in her one hand.

“You decide when you cum,” was all he said before he started fucking her.

She white-knuckled the pillow as he rammed into her, she was arched in the most perfect way for him to hit her g spot every time he rammed into her.

“My hair,” she gasped, wanting him to grab her by her ponytail as he fucked her.

With one hand on her hip to steady her and the other in her hair, he fucked into her like his life depended on it. Her legs were quaking, she felt like she was going to explode if she didn’t cum soon.

She flicked on the vibrator and pressed it against her own clit, feeling the familiar heat bubble in her stomach. “Fuck me, oh god,” she chanted.

Cuming with a shout, she dug her face into the pillow and all but screamed. Pushing back against Spencer as he bucked into her one last time and erupted inside of her.

His hips shook as he emptied his load before slowly pulling out and dropping down beside her.

She turned her head to look at him, eyeliner and mascara all smudged around her eyes, makeup all over the pillow. She was trying her hardest to catch her breath, staring at him with a smile on her face.

“If sex was an Olympic sport, I think we’d win,” she complimented him.

“you think?” He asked, his breath just as shaky as hers.

She rolled onto her back, letting him cuddle into her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him. “Everyone told me that the first time I have sex it’ll be underwhelming and uneventful, and yet every time we fuck I feel like I’ve run a marathon and I should invest in a wheelchair.”

He laughed, “would you put that in writing and send it to everyone from our high school?”

She smacked his arm. “and then I’d have to swat women off you with a bat if I wanted any alone time, you’re mine now.” She wrapped her whole body around him and held him there.

“I love you,” Spencer smiled.

“I love you, more.”

chapter 5

They packed everything into their car just to go to her parents house. There was something in Y/N’s gut that told her there was a case coming.

Her parents lived 30 minutes out of the city, on the edge of a cul-de-sac that faced a park. They had lived there since she was 5, it was her mom’s dream home. It was the only place in the town she had good memories in.

Y/N’s mother brought Diana home with her after work. They were waiting in the kitchen for Spencer and Y/N when they arrived. Tonights guests included not just them but Y/N’s youngest brother Levi, his wife Lizzie and their 2 year-old Chloe.

“There’s my girl!” Her dad cheered, standing up and rushing to give her a real hug. “Did you get taller?”

“it’s the boots,” she laughed, holding onto him tightly.

“You look great! The FBI is treating you well,” her dad was always one to compliment her. He pulled back and looked at Spencer. More like glared at him.

“Nice to meet you Sir, I’m Doctor Spencer Reid,” he said, shockingly extending his hand to shake her father's.

The profiler in her knew he was breaking his comfort zone to appease her baby boomer, ex-cop, father.

Her dad always did this thing when he met new men where he squeezed their hands to see how much they could take. “Harrison Y/L/N Sr.” She watched Spencers hand shake as he squeezed right back.

“Strong shake.” Her father complimented him. “She must have warned you.”

“No, he just knows how to read people,” Y/N laughed.

“Well come sit down Doctor Spencer Reid,” he teased him. “Let me interrogate the profiler.”

“Here we go,” Y/N laughed, placing a hand on Spencer's back as she led him into the kitchen.

They sat down together, Spencers mom, Diana, just across from him at the table. They smiled and nodded at each other in a quiet little hello.

“I would ask you to tell me a bit about yourself, but Y/N has kept me all caught up with you over the years,” her dad said. “You went to CalTech at 13, somewhere in there you got a degree from MIT, she idolized you.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she blushed.

“It’s very flattering, but if anything I’m now huge fan of her’s. In the last 3 weeks she has been the one to find the major break in 3 of our cases. She is amazing at what she does, you raised an incredible woman,” Spencer replied, praising her in a way that made her heart flutter.

“Go on then, tell us about these cases then,” her dad asked.

And with that they got lost in all things horrific. Spencer explained, verbatim, how each case went down and exactly what Y/N came up with to solve them. She answered little questions here and there but mostly it was Spencer showing off how much he loved his girlfriend.

Her mom passed out dinner plates in the middle of the talk, some how all of them were able to discuss cases and eat at the same time. Her mom made burgers and potato salad for dinner, just something simple for them all.

“Did you really offer to fuck a serial killer?” Her brother asked, disgusted.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I knew in his sick twisted mind he wouldn’t be able to refuse a woman willing to let him do what he wanted and as soon as the weapon was down, so was he.”

“I always told you she’d be able to kick your ass, Levi,” her dad said. “Ever since she was a kid I knew she had it in her to wrestle someone to the ground.”

“Yeah, Spence didn’t believe me that I’m combat trained.”

“No,” Spencer interjected, “It’s not that I didn’t believe you, I just didn’t ever think you’d be able to take me down.”

“And did you?” Her mom asked.

Her face turned bright red. “Yeah, I showed one of my combat maneuvers on him, we were all horsing around and I showed them how to go from being pinned to the ground to being the one on top.”

“How?” Her brother’s wife asked.

“Yeah demonstrate!” Her mom innocently cheered them on not knowing she was mid sex with him when she showed him how to do it.

“Um okay, Lizzie come with me,” she said, saving Spencer the awkwardness of having to straddle her in the middle of her family home.

She laid down on the floor, “you basically have to just pin me down how ever you see fit.”

Lizzie, sat on her, holding her shoulders down with one forearm. Y/N, quickly flipped her onto her back, making sure to catch her head as she did so. Not wanting her to smack it off the hardwood floor.

“Like that,” Y/N stood up and helped Lizzie to her feet. “Made sure all the girls knew how to do that.” She lied.

“As you should!” Her dad cheered, “nice to know your team all has each others backs.”

“How do they all feel about you two?” Diana asked. She had been mostly quiet all night, just enjoying time outside of where she was used to.

“They love it, they’ve been placing bets about us,” Y/N laughed.

“Like what?” Her dad asked.

“If he would kiss me first, if we’d tell the team ever, they even had one about who is most likely to say I love you first, they’re insufferable,” Y/N ranted.

“So what team one?” Her brother teased, just trying the embarrass her.

“He kissed me first, he told the team that we were together after like 10 hours and he was the first to say I love you,” Y/N blushed.

“Does she still have the I love you problem?” Her mom asked innocently but received a death glare from Y/N.

“Uh no, she says it to me too.” Spencer noticed the awkwardness.

“Any plans for baby number two?” Y/N asked Levi, changing the subject faster than ever.

She’d be lying if she said she was listening to the answer, her ears were ringing and all she cold focus on was Spencer’s hand on her back. Her mom was about to pass out cake when she excused herself to the bathroom, and ended up in her old bedroom.

She sat down on the edge of the bed, hearing the words her mother said over and over in her mind. “Does she still have the I love you problem?”

She rubbed her hands over her eyes and just breathed. She didn’t want him to know about that yet.

Spencer knocked on her door, opening it softly and peaking his head in. “Do you want company?”

She nodded.

He kneeled down on the floor in front of her, running his hands along her thighs. “Are you okay?”

“I told you about Christopher?” She said softly.

“yes.”

“In order to get me to do what he did, he would always say I had to because he loved me,” she explained. A tear dripped down her cheek and landed on his hand. “And so for 7 years after I never told anyone I knew that I loved them.”

“That’s okay, you went through trauma. You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” he soothed her.

“I want to though because, before you, I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand love, I thought it was weird and forceful and something dependent on coercion,” her voice was so tiny, she didn’t want anyone else hearing her. “Loving you is light and fluffy and special and safe, I didn’t want you to think just now that I said it this weekend to get it over with or something because I truly do love you.

He pulled her into a kiss, “I love you, more.”

She laughed, “we’ll see about that.”

—

Y/N and Diana were doing the dishes as her mom packed the leftover food into Tupperware containers. Debbie was just about to ask who wanted coffee when Y/N’s phone started to ring.

She sighed, drying her hands on a dishtowel before answering the phone. “SSA Y/N Y/L/N.”

“There’s been an explosion at a mall in Los Angeles and reports of 4 more planned, how fast can you and Reid get to LA?” Hotch asked.

“Um, we’re about 45 minutes from the airport.”

“We’re 4 hours out, we want you and Reid there ASAP. Is there any way we could send a helicopter to get you?”

“Yes, there’s a soccer field across the street from my parent's house, Garcia knows the address she can direct them where to go, we’ll be ready.”

“Debrief has already been sent to your phones, I need you and Reid to go to the LA field office and start communication with Garcia on victimology.”

“Got it.” She said as she hung up. “Spence we have to go!”

“What’s wrong?” Diana asked.

“We have an emergency in LA, they need us there immediately. There’s a helicopter coming to get us,” Y/N explained as she walked around the room towards her go-bag.

She unzipped it, unfolding her bullet-proof vest and putting it on. She adjusted her gun and made sure she had everything she needed. Spencer did the same at the table beside her.

“You are a badass,” her dad complimented her, filming her getting her gear on. “This is my daughter! FBI superhero! Kickass tonight kid!” He had an affinity for embarrassing her, but an even bigger obsession with showing her off.

He was like that with all of his children, first with her brother Harrison in the army, then with her other brother Levi and his swat training. Now his daughter was catching serial killers like it was nothing.

“Okay, we gotta go, the helicopter will be landing in that field in 3 minutes. Dad are you okay to take the car back to the dealership if this takes a while? We will be back for our suitcases after the case, I love you guys.” She said. handing her father the car keys and moving to put her shoes on.

“Got everything?” Spencer asked.

“Yep,” she smiled.

They walked out the door and across the street. Most of the neighbourhood watched a helicopter land in the soccer field as the sun was setting. They ducked as they ran getting in the chopper and strapping in.

“Agent Valdez, Nevada PD!” the officer in the pilot seat introduced herself. “We have just over an hour till we land, use the headsets to communicate with me if you need to!”

And they were off. She looked down to see her family waving up at them from their houses as the neighbours she grew up around took photos and videos of them leaving.

“What’s going on?” Spencer asked.

Y/N took out her phone and read over the debrief, “tonight at The Grove in Los Angeles, a small bomb went off killing 6 people and injuring 31.”

“Where did it go off?” Reid asked.

“Inside a small dress store that has been renting the space for the last 7 years,” Y/N confirmed. “I’m sure Garcia is looking into everyone who was injured or killed as well as the current and former employees.”

“It says here that the person who called 911 before the bomb went off warned of 3 bombs to come. Saying; ‘4 bombs in total the first in clear, the next is where her checks would clear.’” Reid read from the phone.

“So we need to find a connection between the dress store and a bank in the area,” Y/N said. “We need to go over that call more, have Garcia look into every aspect of the sound.”

“Where did Hotch say he wants us?” Reid asked.

“At the LA field office, he wants us working behind the scenes in correspondence with Garcia.”

Spencer sighed, “well, our weekend was fun while it lasted.

9:42pm PST

By the time the rest of the team landed and Hotch and JJ arrived at the field office, another 2 bombs had gone off at a Liberty Bank downtown LA.

“Garcia, do we have any connection from the dress shop to the bank yet?” Hotch asked.

“Nothing Sir, I have dug and dug and there isn’t a single person with a connection to both the bank and the dress shop within the last few months, I'm widening back 2-5 years but still nothing,” Garcia panicked over the phone.

“Is there any possibility our unsub is female? This to me feels like a scorned lover, maybe her husband is paying someone under the table who is cashing checks at that exact ATM that exploded and then went and bought a dress,” Y/N suggests.

“Garcia run with that as far as you can and call us back,” Hotch ordered.

“On it!” She cheered before hanging up.

Spencer looked around at all the info he and Y/N brainstormed while waiting for the team. “a female unsub would make the most sense.”

“Did we get any more clues for where the next bomb will be?” JJ asked.

Agent Cunningham from the LA field office shook his head, “nothing at the scene or over 911, we’re on the lookout for any suspicious calls and tips currently.”

“If you were cheating on your wife, after going to the bank and the dress shop where does she go with you next?” Y/N asked Hotch.

“Uh,” he shook his head, clearly faithful to his wife. “Dinner and a hotel?”

“So those are possibly the next two targets,” Y/N said, “but finding out what restaurant and hotel in the entirety of LA is like finding a needle in a needle stack.”

“I hate to say it,” JJ sighed, “but we might need one more explosion before we get a breakthrough.”

“All we can do is hope for minimal damage,” Y/N shot a soft smile over to her, “till then, what kind of woman in the area could make the type of bombs that are being used?”

“Almost anyone,” Morgan said as he walked into the room. “I was just looking at the debris and shrapnel, it’s a fairly simple bomb that anyone with basic knowledge or internet access could make.”

Hotch called Garcia once more. “Can you start a search for women 35-55 who are married, ask the NSA if we can search through any women in the LA area googling how to make bombs in the last month.”

“Of course, I’ve also been looking at the past transactions of the specific ATMs that were targeted, 13 of the people depositing cash and cheques there, recently bought dresses from the store at The Grove.”

“Any of them look like they are partaking in an affair?” Y/N asked.

“2 of them are lesbian women, 3 are drag queens and the other 8 are girls in high school depositing birthday money,” Garcia explained.

“Well thanks for looking, hopefully, the NSA has some hits for us,” Hotch said as he hung up. “I guess we wait.”

11:56pm

“We’ve got reports of an explosion in an all-female dorm at UCLA,” one of the LA agents said as he burst through the door.

“Morgan, Prentiss, Rossi,” Hotch said, “go to the scene and find out everything.”

Y/N called Garcia, “as soon as we know what room the explosion was in I need you to go back 10 years of women who lived in that dorm room and their connections to older men. Sugar daddies, teachers, anyone.”

“The 911 call shortly after the bomb say it was heard on the first floor, possibly room 119 as that's where the blast was heard. Luckily the girl who was supposed to be in that room was with her friend down the hall so we currently have no casualties here,” Garcia explained.

“Thank god,” JJ exclaimed, placing her hand over her eyes.

“In the last 10 years, 6 different women have all had that room,” Garcia said as she narrowed down her search. “Okay, here we go this is the juicy stuff!”

“What is it?” Hotch asked.

“From 2000 to 2002 Maggie Burton was working on a science degree at UCLA. She was working part-time, both years, as the main Chemistry professor's teaching assistant, she was depositing money from him bi-weekly to Liberty Bank.”

“Okay, who was the professor?” Spencer asked.

“Michael Thompson, 56, but that would be too simple now wouldn’t it?” Penelope teased. “Thompson is gay and has been in a domestic partnership since 1998, his Partner Adam Pearson, however, is bisexual according to the sugar daddy website he’s on,” she explained further. “Whether Maggie knows it or not, she had been getting paid to be Thompson's TA, as well as his boyfriend sugar baby.”

“So our unsub is Michael Thompson?” Hotch confirmed.

“By the looks of it, yes. Maggie stopped being a TA when she graduated and now she works with a cosmetics developer downtown. Every week she deposits 500 cash to the ATM, which is the exact amount of cash Adam has been withdrawing for the last 7 years,” she kept explaining, they could hear her keyboard clicking as she kept digging. “Look’s like Adam is filing to remove the domestic partnership and he bought a ring last week.”

“There’s the trigger,” Spencer confirmed. “Do we have a home and work address as well as where the next bomb would be?”

“Adam checked into a Hilton hotel downtown, suite 613 which he has been booking once a month for the last 7 years,” Garcia confirmed. “Sending the locations now.”

“I need a bomb squad sent to the Hilton hotel, evacuations should be done floor by floor saving floor 6 for last, I need agents on floor 6 to evacuate all rooms, except for 613, quietly without making a scene.”

“Sir, suit 612 was booked only for tonight by Michael Thompson, using cash,” Garcia cut him off.

“All rooms but 612 and 613 are to be evacuated, I need a direct line on the scene to room 612 when we arrive,” Hotch ordered as they all hurried towards the elevator.

—

On the scene, Reid, Y/L/N and JJ were sent up with the bomb squad to floor 6. Red lights in the stairwell were flashing to alert that there was an evacuation taking place, but the building was silent.

There were 14 rooms on floor 6, 4 of them being rented that night. Rooms 601 and 608 were the only two they had to focus on to evacuate.

JJ quietly knocked on room 601, “Hi sir,” she whispered. “My name is Jennifer, I’m with the FBI. We need to quietly evacuate this floor, if you wouldn’t mind grabbing your necessities and any other guests in the room, an officer will escort you down the stairs. In the parking lot across the street, there are people issuing refunds and information about relocations for the night.”

The man nodded, he quickly grabbed his things and followed an officer down the hall.

Y/N knocked on 608 next, a young woman answered. “Hi, my name is Y/N, I’m with the FBI. We need to quietly evacuate this floor-“

“I have 2 kids with me,” she whispered.

“Okay, are they awake?” JJ asked.

“My daughter, she’s 2, she’s out cold. My son is watching TV, oh my god my husband isn’t here,” she quietly panicked.

“Ma’am it’s fine, we have officers here to assist you down the stairs and across the street, there are relocation preparations being made. If you don’t mind, I can help you carry your daughter down the stairs?” Spencer said softly.

“Yes, absolutely.” She said, running into the room to gather all her things.

Spencer lifted the little girl up softly, not waking her at all in the process. He held her against his chest softly while the mother grabbed their necessities and her 6-year-old son before followed Spencer down the stairs.

JJ and Y/N stood in the stairwell, Y/N picked up her radio and called down to Hotch. “All civilians on the 6th floor have been evacuated.”

“Any movement in 612?”

“Yes sir,” one of the bomb squad members said. “With our tech, we can see 2 bodies in 613 and 1 in 612, all alive.”

“Any idea how many bombs were talking about?” Hotch asked.

“Not yet, we need a clear look inside the room. Snipers on the building across the street say the blinds are closed,” he explained.

“Hotch, have you gotten in contact with him at all?” JJ asked.

“No, he won't pick up,” hotch confirmed.

“Would you like one of us to knock?” Y/N asked.

“Not yet, I want you both to come down. If we’re knocking on his door we need to have a full plan in place,” Hotch ordered.

“Over,” Y/N said. Following JJ back down the 6 flights of stairs.

Down at the base of operations, Spencer was still holding onto the 2-year-old as the mother called her husband. He shushed her and held her close with a blanket over her back as she slept.

“Hotch,” JJ got his attention. “I noticed each room has vents on the connected walls, is there any way to get into 611 and snake in a camera to see what we’re dealing with?”

“That was my next suggestion,” a SWAT office said as he shook her hand. “We’re prepping the equipment now.”

“Can we also spray a sleeping agent through the vents? If we knock out the unsub we can just drag him out and see what’s going on?” Y/N suggested.

“Yeah that would work,” the SWAT officer said, “we have a sleeping agent in a compressed gas form that we can spray through the vents.”

“Okay, just in 612,” Hotch confirmed. Y/N I want you and Morgan up there to assist in making sure Maggie and Adam are evacuated safely while the bomb squad looks at what we have going on.”

“On it,” she and Morgan said at the same time.

One of the SWAT officers pulled them aside, handing them protective gear for the gas that will erupt into the hallway. She waved to Spencer in the lot as she headed across the street with the SWAT team. They ran up the stairs, it was exhausting but Y/N pushed through, up the six flights. They quietly unlocked room 611 and filled the room with officers.

First, they snaked a small camera through the vent, the image showing on the screen right away, “you seeing this Hotch?” Morgan asked over the radio.

“Crystal.”

“It’s a wall of C4,” one of the Bomb Squad officers quietly confirmed. “Fairly simple to dismantle, it looks like it’s a manual switch. Wait till he crosses the room, and then spray the gas. We need officers to be in the room as it’s sprayed. He needs to hit the floor nowhere close to the detonator.”

Morgan quietly opened the door and assembled the team in the hall, making movements with his hands as he instructed the men. The door kicker was in place, the officers were ready to file in.

The swat agent deployed the gas, they watched on the monitor as the unsub turned to look at the hissing sound, inspecting it before hitting the ground.

“NOW!” Morgan yelled. The door was knocked in and the unsub was in handcuffs.

Y/N ran to 613, knocking on the door as hard as she could. “FBI OPEN UP!” She yelled.

A half-naked man opened the door, “what?” He yelled.

“We need to evacuate the building right now, cover-up and follow me.” She ordered as the two victims covered themselves and followed her down the stairs.

Halfway down, she got a call over the radio. “Bomb has been defused, all clear on floor 6.”

“Bomb?” The man questioned.

“Yes sir,” Y/N confirmed. “your partner, and your science teacher, Michael Thompson, has been bombing places around the city that you two have been to, and was planning to blow you up tonight.”

“What the fuck?” Maggie asked.

“He’s under arrest, you’ll have your chance to ask him questions in court,” Y/N confirmed as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

She held the door for them and watched as they were whisked away by EMTs. She waited for another set for the unsub before turning around and running all the way back up the 6 flights to Morgan.

Morgan was standing over the cuffed, unconscious, unsub in the hallway. “Good job pretty girl!” Morgan high-fived her.

“Thanks,” she smiled, “let's get this bastard down into the ambulance. The elevators should go back up in a minute.”

“What? No more stairs?” Morgan teased.

“I might not be able to feel my legs tomorrow, I’ve been up and down those too many times tonight!” She smacked him.

“Sure that’s why,” he laughed as they waited for the elevator.

—

Spencer and Y/N packed up that night and took a short trip back to Los Vegas. By the time they arrived back on her parent's doorstep it was 5:32 am. 12 hours since they were last there.

She sighed at the front door and called her parent's home phone. “Hello?” Her father's sleep-ridden voice answered.

“Hey dad, it’s Y/N can you come open the front door for me? Please.” She asked nicely.

“Yep.” He hung up.

She watched the hall light come on from the front door. Waiting for him to slowly make his way down the stairs to the front hallway. He unlocked the door and welcomed them in.

“Your mom cleaned off your bed in case this happened,” he whispered, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

“5:30, go back up to bed, we’ll lock back up, thank you,” she hugged him and sent him on his way.

She sighed and sunk down to sit on the bottom step. She tugged her boots off and left them in the hallway. Spencer picked them up and moved them to be in order with the rest of the shoes. He locked her parent's front door and turned off the entryway light.

“You need water or anything before bed?” Y/N asked.

“No, come on,” he took her hand and walked with up the stairs to her bedroom.

She closed the door behind him, peeling out of her clothes and climbing into bed first. She got under the covers and moved the pillows around to make sure they were how she liked them.

Spencer crawled in beside her, wearing just his socks and underwear. He laid flat on his back while she cuddled into his side. He kissed the top of her head and let out a deep breath as he settled into relaxation finally.

“I love you,” she reminded him.

“I love you, more.”

[1kook]

commercial break ; SIX

this is part of my netflix & chill series this is foreshadowing for the next fic 👀

summary; Jungkook enjoyed pushing you down, indulging you in all your little fantasies, but he too had some he wanted to live out. warnings; smut in the forms of riding, penetration, soft sex rating; mature (18+) misceallenous; jungkook thinks a lot.... and they're not always pg things... word count; 1.8k

notes; i have been neglecting my og jk dream team couple so here we are! anyway please look [ here ] and remember this face ....

He’s never minded taking the reins before, but there’s something distinctly carnal that flashes in Jungkook’s chest when you ask to ride him that morning. The sun filtering in through the window beside him captures the entirety of your beauty on top of him, endless expanses of soft skin and dips and curves. “Pretty,” he sighs, hands on your hips. You’re so tired but so gorgeous, supple breasts bouncing in his face, eyelashes kissing your cheeks with each sleepy blink. Rarely do you push him down like this, hands on his chest as you whimper and grind yourself to completion, but Jungkook certainly wasn’t complaining.

In all the time he’s known you, Jungkook’s become quite familiar with your sexual prowess. You liked to play the opposite game with him, seduce him and push him until he snapped and took you over a table or cuffed you to a bed, all blessed experiences that he treasures very much. He loved how you sounded bent over the kitchen counter, or shoved against the sheets. If Jungkook had to pinpoint the exact moment his horniness skyrocketed, it was definitely the second his name left your lips in a breathy little whimper. He adored you and your body, liked taking care of you.

But every now and then… he liked to be pampered.

Jungkook enjoyed pushing you down, indulging you in all your little fantasies, but he too had some he wanted to live out. Blindfolding you and having you cum on a riding crop was definitely the highest on the list and that was done; after that incident he’s woken many a night with a rock hard cock in his sleep shorts like some dorky teenager fantasizing about his girlfriend. And on the nights you didn’t sleep over, he was forced to fend for himself, the tape recorder in his brain recalling every single thing that had happened that night.

But now it was time to move onto the next, and that next bullet point on his imaginary list was letting you fuck yourself on his cock with no help at all.

Most times you rode him you tended to give up halfway through. You started off strong, overexcited glint in your eyes as you rabidly fucked yourself on him. But your natural pillow princess tendencies (no shade) always won over, always had you softly begging him to help. He’s always been more than happy to, especially if it meant coming sooner, but sometimes Jungkook just wanted to be used. Wanted to be pushed down and taken advantage of, especially if that was at your hands. It was a concept that probably went against everything your sexual relationship was built upon; him being the submissive one was about as rare as you not play-fighting back. And still, Jungkook wanted more than anything in the world to see that side of you, that femdom, as Doyeon had so meanly teased him about once.

So here he is, partially living that fantasy as you slide up and down on his cock. You’ve got one hand on his lower abdomen, the other on the top of a thigh, working yourself against him lazily. It’s not at the intensity of Jungkook’s dreams, but it sure is a sight. “B-Bend your knee for me, honey,” you pant, and Jungkook does, pulling his leg up until you’re sloppily using it as leverage to bounce on him. “G-Good boy,” you rasp.

It’s that word, that wretched word that makes something in Jungkook go soft, throw the past year of training out the window. He likes to think he’s in charge— he is —but every now and then you use that word against Jungkook and it’s like everything is reversed and always has been. Like it’s always been you leading sex, you telling him how good he is, and not the other way around.

He groans, tightens his hands on your hips as you continue bouncing away. Every glide of your warm folds around his cock makes his heart lurch, makes him want to bury himself inside of you and never leave. Jungkook would never admit it to your or anyone, but there was this rather clingy side of him that reared its ugly head when you were involved. He never wants anyone else to see you like this, never wants anyone else to feel you like this, which is where his spiraling begins.

You see, below that being-pushed-down-by-my-girlfriend point was another, slightly overlooked point, that entrenched upon dangerous, almost taboo territory. And that was stuffing you full of his cum— off birth control —and watching you swell and swell until there was no way you couldn’t be pregnant. And Jungkook, for some odd reason, wanted that really badly.

A soft groan above him, a lazy smile on your face as you reach down to idly toy with your clit, pussy flush against the base of his cock now. He knows better than to tell you to move because it’ll break this tender moment, this unique experience of you using him like some glorified dildo like he so desperately wanted sometimes. So he shuts his lips, goes back to that other fantasy that is only fueled by the soft swell of your tits when you move.

God, they would get so big, he thinks. Would be so round, just like the rest of you, and bursting with milk. It’s for the baby, for the baby, he tells himself, but there’s image in his head, this so terribly wrong image, of him suckling your breasts, holding your waist as the milk drips down his chin and over your skin, senses overwhelmed as he does something he’s definitely not supposed to. But you’d be so sweet, his mind says, would be so sweet and... full of life.

Above him, you giggle deliriously, sweat dripping down the slope of your neck. For a second he wonders if you’ve somehow tapped into his thoughts, seen all his perverted fantasies, but then you’re looking at him with that adoring gaze that makes his heart burst. “Pretty boy,” you tease, rolling your hips forward until that cute little button above your slit is grinding against him.

Yes, he certainly was your pretty boy, your good boy— he was whatever boy you wanted him to be. Why? Because he was so in love with you that the mere thought of you not being his and him not being yours made him gag. He just wanted you, so soft and warm around him, for the rest of his life. Maybe a belly? Maybe a child? Jungkook wanted it all, and his dick throbs at the mere idea of you possibly giving him that and more.

He was completely lost in his thoughts, never to be seen again.

A muffled whimper, so airy that it takes Jungkook a moment to realize it came from him. He’s too riled up to feel embarrassed, simply rolls his head from side to side as you clench those puffy walls around him. “C-Cum inside?” he pants, “can I— can I cum inside?” You lean forward; the tip of his engorged cock brushes against a sensitive spot inside of you, pulling a sinful moan from your lips. “P- Please?”

You smile, so pretty and sweet, it makes his dick twitch. “Of course,” you murmur, small hand on the side of his face, hips rolling rhythmically. “Wh- what’s that thing you said the other day?” you shiver, sleek skin catching the rays of the sun perfectly. A glittering highlight decorates your body, and that only tightens the coil in his stomach until it’s springing up with insane force. “Baby?”

“Yes?” he grunts, every muscle fiber in his body needed to hold even the smallest semblance of self control.

A giggle from you as he dazedly looks up. “Not you,” you chuckle, leaning down to sweetly peck him on the lips. It’s so soft and gentle, just like everything else about you. It takes everything in his body to keep him stable. “Remember?” you purr, hot breathe flush against his skin. “You wanted to put a baby in me.”

His hips jerk, a moan spilling from his lips that he doesn’t catch fast enough. “N-No,” he mewls, turning his face away from you like maybe it’ll prolong his orgasm, maybe it’ll lessen the aching heat around his cock. He can’t possibly hear those words from your lips, not when he knows you’re on birth control and that that notion is physically impossible right now. It’ll plant a terrible seed in his head, ruin Jungkook for weeks.

But you’re nothing if not persistent, forcing yourself down against him as he begins violently blushing, trying to mask his excitement. “Baby?” you repeat, as if he’s a puppy hearing the words ‘outside;’ fuck it, Jungkook thinks, he was whatever you wanted him to be. “Wanna fuck a baby into me, Jungkookie?” you exhale, hot breath against his ear. His hips spasm a second time, send you rolling down his cock with those perky nipples flush against his chest. “Mmmh, come on, honey… need you to work for it.”

And work Jungkook does.

His hands wrap around your frame, pull you flush against his body. Feet against the bed, thighs tense, he begins rapidly thrusting up into the warm entrance of your pussy, where yours and his cum seep out together. It’s slippery and wet, but not wet enough — he wants to feel his cum around himself, feel it bulge inside your stomach until you physically can’t hold anymore. “G-Good boy,” you whine, lips raining down featherlight smooches along his jawline. “Doing so good for me, honey—“

You’re cut off by the earth-shattering orgasm that consumes Jungkook, an almost feral groan that tears itself from his throat. “Mine, mine,” he sobs, doesn’t recognize his own voice in his ears. “Gonna be mine.”

A stuttered reply as your juices join his, leak down his softening cock until the sticky sweet fluid makes him feel dirty. It’s not even 8 AM yet and he’s already covered in cum. But it’s worth it when you lean back with that pretty smile, push his damp hair away from his sweaty face with the practiced touch of an angel. “Did you like that?” you ask softly, not making to move off of him. In fact, Jungkook swears you squeeze around his quickly limpening cock.

Any other woman he thinks he might have been embarrassed, die from humiliation of presenting her with a soft dick. But with you, it’s comfortable. It’s sweet and soft, your silky folds milking the last of his cum straight out of his cock. Jungkook whimpers, head bobbing at your question. You cup his face in your hands, fingers like butterflies against his skin. He swears he could transcend right now.

Another languid kiss, tongue lazily toying with his until his mouth feels heavy from the saliva you push down his throat. The light filtering in through the window paints your skin in soft colors, makes him feel so warm and loved; he could die like this and not feel an inch of remorse.

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[eliemo]

Permafrost: Chapter 2

Summary: After Virgil agrees to follow Roman into the Imagination, a shift in the weather and an unfortunate misstep sends Virgil plummeting into uncharted waters. If only it didn’t take a matter of life or death and a race against time to realize the Prince might not hate him after all.

TW: Drowning, effects of severe cold, steps of CPR 

Notes: Romantic Prinxiety (pre relationship) I tried to make the effects in this chapter as realistic as possible but if some things are inaccurate no they aren’t

Permafrost taglist: @im-an-anxious-wreck @snowyfires @the-sympathetic-villain @my-life-is-an-artistic-mess @itsjust-la-me @ray-does-stuff @brokaw22 @johnlaurensintheplacetobe @teamplutoforlife @myrandomfandoms12 @riverdoesbadart

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

Roman knew his role, and he played it well. He was the hero, charging into battle and adventures without a second thought, smiling in the face of bloodthirsty beasts with his sword at his side. Princes weren’t cowards. 

But when Virgil lost his grip and went under, Roman had never been so scared in his entire life. 

“Virgil!” 

He’d been so close, finally dropping to his knees on the unsteady ice and desperately reaching out, fingers just brushing freezing cold skin when the current took advantage of Virgil’s rapidly waning strength and pulled him under. 

Roman’s own scream, hollow and empty and terrified, echoed right back at him, thrown in his face to remind him that he’d been too slow- 

He pushed his own thoughts aside (he could blame himself later. God why hadn’t he been faster?) and plunged his arm into the water until he was shoulder deep, hissing against the sudden sting of the cold. 

But Roman didn’t have the place to complain, not when Virgil had just been completely submerged right in front of him. 

It had all happened so fast, Roman reaching into the violent river less than a second after Virgil disappeared, so maybe- maybe there was still enough time. Please please please let him be fast enough-

His fingers found something soft and solid, just barely managing to grab onto what he was almost positive was Virgil’s hoodie (please please let it be Virgil’s hoodie) before it was swept away completely. 

He was almost yanked into the water himself by the force of the current, the river fighting relentlessly to pry Virgil away, and Roman felt a sudden rush of irrational anger. 

He wasn’t sure where it came from, something defiant and protective that wrapped around his chest- something that went deeper than his desire to be someone’s hero. Because he was Creativity, and this was his realm. It didn’t get to take anything from him. 

It didn’t get to take Virgil. 

Roman reared back, mind almost blank as he fought against the water and pulled Virgil back towards the surface, heart skipping a beat when he finally caught a glimpse of purple hair floating in the freezing water. 

He hadn’t lost him. He was ok, he would be ok, Roman would make sure of it. Virgil was not going to die because Roman had been a little too eager to spend time with the recently accepted side. 

He moved closer to the edge, forcing himself to ignore the way the already unstable ice creaked dangerously, letting out a sky breath when he was able to get two hands hooked under Virgil's shoulders.

It was only then, pulling against the weight of the water trying to drag them both down, that he realized Virgil wasn’t fighting back. He was perfectly still, no more kicking or struggling as the current kept him under. 

No. No no no. He wasn’t too late. He wasn’t too late. Virgil would be fine. 

Roman honestly wasn’t sure how he managed to gain the upper hand in his fight with the current. It was strength he doubted he could have harnessed under any other circumstance, a sudden rush of adrenaline he imagined Thomas got from Virgil sometimes right before rushing on stage and pouring his heart out in front of an audience. 

Maybe it was the last of Virgil’s strength bleeding into Roman’s determination, a last desperate attempt to help save his own life. The two of them had always been a good team, even if they hadn’t realized it sooner. 

Virgil finally broke the surface, Romans’s arms wrapped firmly around his chest as he dragged him onto the ice, terrified he would lose his grip and let Virgil slip through his hands when they were so close to being safe. 

There was no gasp for air, no coughing or sputtering as he choked and spat out water. Virgil was out of the river, but he was still unmoving and silent, lips and fingertips tinged an alarming shade of blue. 

But that was ok. It was ok! (It wasn’t ok- it was the farthest thing from ok.) The ice creaked again, shifting a bit under the added weight, and Roman forced himself to move before he got them both killed. 

“You’re ok,” Roman said, despite Virgil remaining limp and unresponsive as he carefully scooped the anxious side up off the ground. He had to do something to fill the suffocating silence. “You’re ok, you’re fine. I’ve got you. You’re ok.” 

The ice was definitely unsteady as Roman brought them back to the surrounding snow, but it thankfully didn’t crack or give way any further. Apparently Virgil had managed to find the most unstable chunk in what could easily be the deepest part of the lake.

And Roman had kept walking. Roman had teased and waved off his panic. And then when he realized what had happened, when he’d heard the genuine terror in Virgil’s voice, it had already been too late. He’d been too far away.

But Virgil was in his arms now. Virgil was...he was limp against Roman’s chest, river water leaking from his mouth, and he wasn’t breathing. He wasn’t breathing. 

He pushed down his panic, even as his head spun and his hands shook from more than just the cold, carefully setting Virgil down in the snow against the nearest tree trunk, the bare twisted branches offering a bit of shelter from the snowfall. 

Virgil was horribly pale, even more than usual, and Roman hated how he blended in with the ground, everything a startling shade of white save for the heavy tint of blue his lips had gained. 

Roman reached forward with shaking hands, holding his breath as he pressed two fingers against the ice cold skin below Virgil’s jaw, searching frantically for a pulse while his eyes welled up with tears. 

There was nothing there. There was nothing, Virgil didn’t have a pulse, and Roman wanted to sob. “Hang on,” he whispered to no one, because he wasn’t sure what to say when his friend looked like a corpse. “Just hang on, Virge.” 

Before he could stare too long and spiral into worry, because Virgil’s face should never look so lifeless, Roman squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to try and recall what Logan taught them to do in a situation like this. 

It had been years ago, and Roman had decided the lesson was boring, unnecessary, and not worth his attention. And of course, now it was a matter of life and death, and he was struggling to remember a word Logan had said. 

It had been Virgil’s idea for Logan to teach them all how to perform CPR. “You never know what could happen. It’s just better to be prepared.” He’d insisted.

Back then, Roman had chalked it up to Anxiety just trying to ruin their fun and keep everyone paranoid for his own twisted amusement. He really made himself sick sometimes. 

 If Virgil was awake right now, he would be rolling his eyes and teasing him for being such a stubborn idiot. Virgil had always just been trying to help. To keep them all safe. And Roman had always responded with suspicion and hostility. 

But he wasn’t awake, and if Roman didn’t remember this stupid lecture Logan had given, he might never wake up again. 

Roman racked his brain as hard as he could, his eyes squeezed shut as he fought to picture Logan’s voice. After pulling someone from the water you have to…you have to move them…on their back! 

Roman rushed to move Virgil so he was laying down, working quickly yet handling the anxious side as if he were made of glass. He slowly and carefully placed him flat on his back, making sure he didn’t hit his head on the ground. 

Ok, first step finished. Roman closed his eyes again as he reached into his memory for what to do next. He had to put his hands- no, his palms- on Virgil’s stomach. His stomach? No, it was...it was...his chest? His chest! 

Roman wished more than anything Virgil was over his shoulder, gently poking fun at the Prince’s scrambled thoughts. 

But he wasn’t, and Roman unzipped the soaking wet hoodie to place his hands on Virgil’s chest, one hand crossed over the other, mirroring the way he remembered Logan had positioned his own hands on the practice dummy he’d made Roman conjure.

Now, all he had to do was push down to the beat of ‘Stayin’ Alive’, just like The Office taught him, and then move to tilt Virgil’s head back, pinch his nose closed, and breathe for him until the anxious side’s chest could rise on its own. 

Roman wasted no time starting the motions. He hummed the tune under his breath to keep the rhythm, quickly deciding that once this was over he would never be able to hear that song again. 

But that didn’t matter right now. Right now he just needed Virgil to breathe. 

But...but he wasn’t. Roman lost track of how many times he pressed down on Virgil’s chest, how many times he repeated that song over and over in his head, the compressions getting a little bit more desperate every time.

 He lost count of how many times he leaned over his friend to send a breath rattling down his throat, trembling and lightheaded as he touched Virgil’s frigid skin, only able to silently hope his lungs would get the message and bring him back. 

“Come on, Virgil,” he found himself pleading, vision obscured by gathering tears. “Come on, wake up! You can do it, I know you can do it. Just come back, ok? You’re gonna be ok, just breathe! Please, Virgil please. We...I can’t lose you! You have to wake up!” 

Was he doing something wrong? Had he just been too late? Too slow? Too stupid? If it was anyone else, Vigil would have already been awake by now, conscious and breathing. 

...If it were anyone else, Virgil wouldn’t have fallen in the lake at all. Virgil wouldn’t even be here. He’d be warm and safe in someone else’s arms and Roman wouldn’t be kneeling in the snow, begging him to open his eyes.

He needed Virgil to wake up. He needed him. It had taken him so long to see it, pushing it down and covering it up with insults and nicknames and denial, but now...now Roman didn’t think he could handle losing Virgil. 

He couldn’t lose Virgil’s voice, his smile, the way the whole world seemed brighter when Roman got the anxious side to laugh. Virgil was kind and sharp and funny, and he cared so much. He was...he was perfect, and Roman--

Virgil suddenly jolted under his hands, making a horrible sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a cough, eyes flying open in panic as he fought and struggled for air he couldn’t get. 

Roman’s cry of relief came out as something closer to a sob, but he couldn’t find it in him to care, scrambling off of Virgil and not bothering to wipe the tears from his face.

 Prince thankfully had the sense to turn Virgil on his side to keep him from choking, wincing at the string of wet coughs and hacking coming from the soaked figure in the snow. 

It sounded horrible, Virgil’s breaths coming in strangled wheezes as he coughed and spewed up what looked like half the river, but right now it was the most beautiful noise Roman had ever heard. 

He couldn’t imagine how much pain the other side was in right now, every breath an agonized and confused fight for air, but it at least meant Virgil was alive. 

“You’re ok,” Roman said, voice still unsteady and raw from crying. “Hey, you’re ok, you’re alright. Just let it out, you’re doing great.” 

Virgil was obviously too busy throwing up water to respond, and Roman suddenly had no idea what he was supposed to do. 

“I’m here,” he offered, tentatively scooting closer, terrified he would just make everything worse. “You’re ok, Virgil. It’s ok.” 

He carefully placed a hand on Virgil’s back, rubbing small circles in between his shoulder blades. The hoodie was just as soaked as the rest of him, heavy and cold and probably clinging to his skin. It was impossible not to notice how hard Virgil was shaking, teeth chattering so much Roman could hear it over the wind. 

Gosh, Virgil must be freezing. 

“R- Ro...R-Roman.” He coughed again, and Roman wrapped an arm around him to keep Virgil from falling flat on his face. “R-Roman--”

“Shh, I’ve got you.” He pulled Virgil back to lean against his chest, frowning at how the hoodie still dripped with icy water. “I’m gonna help you, ok? We’re gonna get you warmed up.” 

Roman moved to take the lapels of the hoodie, gently trying to slide it off the shivering side, tearing up again when Virgil made a noise of protest, scared and small. He tried to cling onto the garment, but his hands were too unsteady to get a good grip. 

“I know,” Roman said. “But the hoodie’s soaked, Virge. It’s just making things worse, I need to get it off.” 

Either Virgil understood and stopped fighting, or he didn’t have the strength to struggle anymore, but he dropped his arms and leaned even more into the Prince’s side. He just hoped Virgil recognized Roman was trying to help. 

The hoodie wasn’t easy to get off, the cloth clinging to Virgil’s bare arms, the anxious side whimpering when the wind hit his skin. “P-please, please d-don’t...Roman--” 

“I know.” God, Virgil was barely able to get his words out through his own chattering teeth. “I know it’s cold, but just hang in there. Please.” 

Roman wasted no time once the hoodie was off. He quickly laid it out beside them on the snow, hoping the wind would at least do something to dry it off, and repositioned himself slightly, one hand still wrapped carefully around Virgil’s chest. 

He detached his red sash first, tossing it carelessly into the snow and vowing not to leave it, or the hoodie, behind. It took a few seconds, Virgil still leaned heavily up against him, but Roman managed to shrug off his white jacket, shuddering when that left him in just a black t-shirt. 

It was freezing, the ruthless wind like a flurry of knives against his skin, but Roman forced himself to grit his teeth and ignore it. If he was cold, he couldn’t imagine how it must feel to be soaking wet. 

And Virgil was probably aching and bruised from the compressions…

“Here,” Roman said, heart dropping at the fear and confusion in Virgil’s cloudy eyes. “Put this on, alright? You’re gonna be ok.” 

Virgil made another quiet, indecipherable noise but didn’t protest when Roman draped the jacket over his shoulders, and the prince was able to help guide his hands through the slightly too big sleeves. 

Any other time, under any other circumstances, Roman imagined seeing the anxious side wearing the prince’s jacket would be something that would leave them both smiling like idiots, Roman left trying in vain to hide his rising blush. 

Now, it was just a desperate act to keep Virgil alive. 

Roman wrapped his arms around him and pulled Virgil close to his chest, desperate to offer as much warmth as he could, the shivering from the other side still beyond alarming. At least his lips and fingertips no longer held that terrifying shade of blue. 

He shut his eyes for a moment, dropping his forehead to rest against Virgil’s soaking wet hair, trying to figure out what on earth he was supposed to do. They needed to move, to get Virgil back home safe as soon as possible, but it was still another forty minutes or so to the Imagination door.

He never should have brought Virgil so far out, not with how unpredictable his realm could be. Roman had just...wanted an excuse to spend more time with the anxious side. 

He’d wanted Virgil to see him be the hero. For once, he’d wanted to be the hero in Virgil’s eyes, not just Thomas’s. He’d been so stupid. 

They couldn’t stay here, not while the snow continued to fall and the wind showed no sign of stopping. 

He’d carry Virgil the entire way if he had to, he knew that for sure. But the longer the storm kept up, the temperature slowly but surely dropping further, the more it was looking like he’d have to. They couldn’t afford to move slowly. 

He didn’t know what he’d been silently hoping for. Maybe for the weather to become warm again, or for Virgil to magically get better, to sit up with his skin back to its normal paleness and make a snarky comment about Roman worrying too much.

“Jeez, are you trying to steal my job, Princey?” he’d ask, smirking when Roman sputtered and blushed under the accusation. God, he’d give anything to have Virgil back to normal. 

But the sky wasn't clear, Virgil’s declining health only seemed to be getting worse, and Roman knew that the longer he waited, the worse it would only get. 

“Hey, we need to keep moving,” Roman said, hoping Virgil could understand him. “You still with me? I’m gonna pick you up, alright?” 

He felt Virgil cough again, still a broken rattling sound that sent dread clawing up Roman’s throat, and he watched the anxious side reach up to grab at the material of the jacket wrapped around him. 

“M’ here,” he said, and he was clearly trying so hard to speak clearly. “I- I can...I c-can walk.” 

“Let me help you,” Roman insisted, even as his heart swelled with pride. He wondered if Virgil recognized his own bravery. “We’ll be home soon.” 

He carefully maneuvered one of Virgil’s arms over his shoulder and counted to three under his breath before slowly lifting the anxious side off the ground. 

He froze immediately when Virgil let out a strangled gasp, broken up immediately by ragged coughs, his shivering body going tense as his free hand flew to his stomach, trying to wrap his arm around himself. 

“F-fuck,” Virgil hissed when he had his breath back, and Roman eased them both back into the snow when his knees started to buckle. “Ow, ow, ow, what...Ro-Roman--” 

“I’m here,” Roman said. “I’m right here, Virgil. What hurts?” 

“R-r-ribs, and- and I...I don’t...what’re we--?” 

“Shoot, uh...I think I did that.” Oh god, he’d hurt Virgil. He’d really messed up everything today, hadn’t he? “I had to give you CPR.” 

“You...I- I don’t- why?” 

“You fell in the river,” Roman explained, trying not to panic at Virgil’s sudden memory loss. That was normal, right? He was just a little confused, no reason to freak out yet. “Remember? I think the cold really got to you and- and I’m...I’m really sorry. God, I’m so sorry Virgil. I tried to get to you but--”

“Y-you-” Another cough, just as terrifying as all the others. “-you pulled m-me up?” 

Roman frowned, hating the bewildered confusion in Virgil’s voice. “I did. Of course I did. But you...you weren’t breathing and I couldn’t find a pulse and I...I thought you were...I thought--” 

“Well I- I’m f-fine,” Virgil rasped, dangerously pale and shivering and the farthest thing from fine. “Y-you...you really are my hero huh, P-Princey?” 

It was like something curled around Roman’s chest, squeezing at his heart so suddenly he felt a little lightheaded. Virgil’s hero. He wanted so badly to believe that. 

But he couldn’t- not when Virgil was trembling in his arms and struggling to form a single sentence. 

“I’m getting you home,” Roman vowed, holding the anxious side just a little bit tighter. “I promise you that. Just...let me carry you. Please.” 

Virgil slumped, his shaky grip growing almost desperate- despite still being painfully weak- but he nodded against Roman’s chest. “It’s...it’ s-so cold.” 

Roman didn’t know how much time had passed since he had put his own jacket on Virgil, but while it hadn’t seemed to do much to improve Virgil’s condition, the lack of protection was definitely getting to Roman.

He found he didn’t mind though, not when Virgil was awake and breathing, aware enough to talk just a little. But he knew it was only a matter of time until their luck ran out.  

Roman carefully repositioned the anxious side still curled in his arms so he could better hold him in a bridal carry, shushing him gently when Virgil made a pained sound as the Prince stood, stumbling slightly in the thick snow. 

“I know,” Roman said, barely audible over the howling wind. “Just hang in there, Stormcloud. We’ll be home before you know it. We’re so close, Virgil.”  

He started forward again, hoping Virgil wasn’t aware enough to catch on to Roman’s own rising anxiety. 

[iwaslut]

— 𝖌𝖑𝖚𝖙𝖙𝖔𝖓𝖔𝖚𝖘

this is my piece for @karasunosimp’s “it’s raining milk” collab!! this is my first time ever participating in a collab, so thank you for letting me join <3

milf!sasha braus

fem!reader, nsfw content, large age gap, wlw, oral sex.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ♡ 18+ CONTENT

Your job as a babysitter had quite a few perks.

One: The pay is good. You were rather reluctant to resort to babysitting as a part-time job but, desperate times call for desperate measures, especially when you’re trying to earn some form of income while putting yourself through your last year of University. So you were pleasantly surprised when you had been offered more than you normally would be compensated when babysitting.

Two: The kid you babysit, Kaya, is an absolute angel. Due to her rather withdrawn nature, Kaya typically keeps herself busy by quietly reading in her room or watching the television in the living room. As time has passed and Kaya’s slowly become accustomed to your presence, she no longer seems as apprehensive to interact with you as she once was. It’s obvious to you that she’s a good kid. Although she’d rather keep to herself, she’s always polite when you converse and sometimes she’ll even ask if you want to join her and watch a show together. She has pretty good taste in shows, you think as you watch “The Winx Club” together.

Three: Miss Braus is one of the hottest fucking women you’ve seen in your life. She looks fucking incredible for a woman her age and you were honestly shocked to learn that she’s as old as she is. Whenever you interact with the woman, you have to physically restrain yourself from allowing your eyes to lower; her shirts are always exceptionally tight, clinging like a second-skin to her tits. It’s only when she turns around to leave through the front door that you let yourself check out the older woman. She has a damn nice ass.

“Hello, Miss Braus.” With your tote bag resting on your shoulder, you step inside of the home as the brunette warmly ushers you in.

“Miss Braus makes me feel old. How many times do I have to tell you that Sasha will do just fine, sweetheart?” She complains, playfully scolding you as you slip off your sneakers by the entrance of the door. Her hands are firmly placed on the curve of her hips when you lift your head to offer her a sheepish grin.

“Sorry, Mi—Sorry, Sasha. Force of habit, I guess.” You bring up one hand to rub at the back of your neck, brows lightly pinching together when you survey the space to see Kaya nowhere in sight. “Eh, pardon me, Sasha, but where’s Kaya at?”

Although you’re well aware of how reserved her daughter is, you’ve come to expect Kaya to be curled up on the couch reading a novel whenever you come over to babysit her. You guys have fallen into the habit where you’ll cook her lunch as soon as you arrive while she reads nearby so it’s rather unusual that the blonde girl is nowhere to be seen.

“She’s at her father’s house for the day.” For a brief moment, the brunette’s expression pinches up: distaste for the blond man made evident on her face. You don’t know too much about Sasha’s ex-husband, just that he’s some renowned chef that frequently travels a lot. Niccolo is his name if you recall correctly. It’s not your place to pry so you choose to not ask any questions regarding the matter and listen when Sasha slips little tidbits of information regarding her ex-husband.

Wait. What?

“Kaya’s not here?” If Kaya’s not here then why were you still scheduled to babysit today?

You’re drawn out of your train of thought when Sasha places a gentle hand on your shoulder. You startle at the little amount of space in between the two of you.

“Nope!” She cheerfully exclaims as she slips your bag off of your shoulders. You’re left in a stupor, wondering what the fuck is going on, but you shake it off and follow Sasha, who has turned around and is now making her way in the direction of the kitchen.

“I thought we could chat today!” Her back is turned towards you as you take a seat at one of the bar stools at the kitchen counter. She floats around the kitchen, grabbing items from the fridge and cabinets. Your eyes glue themselves to the thin sliver of skin that appears when Sasha’s shirt rides up as she reaches for something in one of the upper cabinets.

“O-oh, okay.” This turn of events is rather strange, but you’re not complaining. Sasha’s a really wonderful conversationalist: the conversation flows naturally between you two and you’re always left in stitches at the jokes she cracks. Also, you get the opportunity to openly ogle her with her back facing you as she cooks something on the stove. You’re not going to pass up on an opportunity like this.

“I’m making us some lunch, but it’s going to take some time to cook.” You’re knocked out of your reverie once again and quickly avert your gaze from Sasha’s ass to meet her eyes. You desperately hope you were fast enough that she didn’t catch you. Her expression doesn’t give anything away so you think you’re good.

“Sounds good to me! Thank you so much for making lunch.” Your mouth waters at the thought of eating Sasha’s cooking. Although you’ve never tried it, Kaya’s always boasted about how her parents are both great cooks. You’re looking forward to trying her food since Kaya speaks so highly of it.

“Of course, honey! It’s no issue especially for such a sweet girl.” Your thighs automatically squeeze together. You mentally thank a higher being that the counter hides your lower half because that would be painfully embarrassing for you if your employer saw how turned on they made you by uttering only two words.

You watch as Sasha floats around the kitchen, grabbing some more ingredients from the fridge and different cabinets before tossing them all together on the stove to simmer. You fidget in your seat, never one who was good at sitting still with nothing to occupy your attention. You feel that it would be rude for you to pull out your phone and scroll through social media in Sasha’s presence.

“There we go! Now we just have to let this simmer for a while,” she exclaims, turning around to face you and clapping her hands together. A pretty smile graces her face and her features light up when you return it with a grin of your own.

“Since it's going to take some time, how about we get comfy?”

Sasha pats the seat next to her on the couch, prompting you to slip out of the stool you’re sitting on to join her. You make sure to maintain a respectable distance that Sasha effectively destroys when she scoots closer to you until your knees are brushing against one another’s. The lack of space between you two makes you more nervous than you’d like to admit, but you don’t move from your spot.

The air is stolen straight out of your lungs when Sasha places a delicate hand on your knee.

“You know, you’re not really discreet when you’re checking me out, honey,” Sasha notes.

“Huh—what?” It takes your brain a moment to process what Sasha’s said, especially as her hand steadily inches up your thigh. Once you realize what she’s said, embarrassment crashes over you in a cold wave.

“Oh my god, I am so so so sorry Miss Braus. Please forgive—.”

Your words die out when Sasha places the hand that’s not on your thigh on your cheek, forcing you to look her way.

“You talk too much, sweetheart,” Sasha affectionately chides before she presses her lips to yours, effectively shutting you up in the process. You’re frozen still for a moment. Is this actually fucking happening? When you feel Sasha move her lips against yours, you realize that yes, this is, in fact, fucking happening.

Any of your prior hesitations is thrown out the window when you feel Sasha’s hands slip underneath the hem of your t-shirt. Your tongue traces the seam of her lips before Sasha parts them, letting you in. Your hands rest on her hips, urging and guiding her to seat herself on top of your lap.

You smile against her lips as a startled gasp leaves them when you firmly squeeze her ass.

“Too much clothing,” she rasps out while pulling her shirt over her head. You’re quick to follow suit and tug your own t-shirt off just in time to watch Sasha unclasp her bra. Her breasts spill out from underneath the constraining fabric and jiggle before settling against her chest.

As much as you want to lean forward and lather her tits in attention, you’re eager to switch the position you’re currently in. Sasha’s back hits the couch’s cushions with a quiet thump as your frame leers above her.

Her eyes widen in brief surprise at the action, but Sasha’s not granted much time to think when you swoop down to kiss her again. It’s sloppier this time around. You have no clue when, or if, you’ll ever get this chance again and you’re determined to make the most of it. You want to ingrain the taste of Sasha into your brain.

Her hands tangle together behind your neck when you begin your descent down her body. You lick the bead of sweat trailing down the column of her neck and gently nip at the skin there. Not hard enough to make any marks, but just hard enough to elicit a gasp from Sasha.

“Fuck. Just like that.”

She throws her head back when you swirl your tongue around the hardened bud of her nipple while your fingers roll her other one. You lavish her tits in attention, sucking and nipping at them until blood rushes to the surface of her skin. When you lean back, you mentally pat yourself on the back. Her tits are a mess, covered in hickies of varying sizes.

You pepper kisses to her stomach, relishing in how soft and plush her skin is, before tossing her legs over your shoulders.

“You look so good like this, Sasha. So pretty and desperate for me to eat you out,” you coo. You hook your arms underneath her thighs, grabbing fistfuls of the fat of her ass until she’s positioned in a way you like.

“Hurry up and put your mouth on me already.” She tightens her thighs around your head and digs her heels into your back, urging you to get on with it already. If this was any other situation, you’d draw it out a little longer until Sasha was on the verge of tears and begging you to eat her out, but you’re feeling impatient. You can’t lie and say you’re not eager to have a taste of her.

Before Sasha can complain at how long you’re taking, you dive in. A startled moan tears its way out of her throat when you lick a long, deep stripe along her dripping slit. You lap at her cunt like a woman starved, devouring her whole. You circle her clit with your tongue before latching onto it.

“Shit. I’m so close. You’re doing s’good.”

Her back arches off of the sofa as her hands bury themselves into your hair. She digs the blunt edges of her nails into your scalp and the slight splintering pain has you moaning into her cunt.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum. Shit! I’m cumming.”

She sharply digs her heels into the muscle of your upper back and she cums with a loud cry. You hold her in place as she convulses, bucking her hips wildly as she rides out her orgasm. You gently suckle on her clit and run your tongue through her folds until she’s whimpering.

The incessant beeping of the timer that Sasha had previously set startles the two of you. From in between her thighs, you stare up at her with a crooked grin. A mixture of her juices and cum coats your lips and chin. Her eyes dart to the pink of your tongue when you lick your lips clean. You use the back of your hand to wipe your chin, which only serves to smear the liquid more.

“Thanks for the dessert, Sasha. I’m looking forward to tasting your cooking now.”

[harrywritingsbyme]

If it’s not too much to ask but 🥺 can we get (y/n) sinking her nails into Harry’s back, leaving deep marks and scratches from his shoulder down to his mid back during sex. So the next day, she notices Harry is winces a bit and when she goes to lift up his shirt. She shocked to see so many bruises so now she feels terrible and offer to give him a soothing massage with some cream to make up for hurting him please 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Scratches

A/N: I was clearing out my inbox when i stumbled across this concept. I thought that this was so cute and a lil bit spicy. So I decided to do something with it...Enjoy🙃

Things got a little bit crazy last night. After a long day for both you and Harry, a night of being tangled up in each other was extremely welcomed. The two of you just went back and forth all night long, taking each other in just about every position imaginable. The only break in between you two going at it was to eat dinner. And even in the process of making it, Harry took you right against the counter. To put it simply, it was a great night for the two of you. And despite the fact that you both were exerting energy moving your bodies against each other’s, you and Harry had no complaints whatsoever. Especially you. Throughout the night you made countless offers to take control and focus in on Harry and pleasuring him. Now he did give in, but that was only once. The other offers you made were met with really sharp and deep thrusts, along grunts from him telling you to shush. Which you did in fact do, just with your offers to focus on him a bit; not your moans. Those, you simply could not control. 

There was literally no way that you could possibly hold back the screams, whimpers, and moans that left your mouth as a result of Harry’s relentless thrusts into you. It didn’t matter what position you were in either. You could’ve been on your back or on your front, you never failed to scream your lungs out, squirm, and claw at whatever was in your reach from the pleasure Harry was slamming into you. The only difference between the two would be what you dug your nails into. When you were lying on your front, taking Harry’s cock from behind, you always clung to the sheets around you if your arms weren’t pinned to your lower back and used as leverage to sharpen his thrusts even more. But when you’re on your back, you cling to Harry. Unless your arms are pinned above your head, your arms are around him and your nails are subconsciously digging into his shoulders and back. You didn’t mean to, it just happened. 

Harry was on top of you giving you one of the best (even though every time made that list) poundings you’d ever received from him. Not only was it deep rough and fast, it was also hard. As he shoved his cock down into you, he was quick with the movements and he made sure to push himself as deep as possible with every thrust. When doing so, Harry was lifting as much of his body as possible up just to slam all the way back down into you. This meant that he was pounding his cock into your stomach and his lower body, particularly his thighs, down into yours. He was also doing this while you were positioned in a way below him that had your legs pushed up towards your chest, resulting in your cunt being lifted a bit from the bed, which allowed him to slam down to you even better.

As he did this you were losing any shred of composure you had left in your body. You loved the incredibly balanced mixture of pain and pleasure Harry was giving to you. Your thighs were practically being torn apart as he slammed himself down into you and tore your walls apart with his cock. To make it even better, while he was showing zero mercy to your cunt and entire body for that matter, Harry was simultaneously moaning into your ear about how good it felt to pound into your perfect walls, and he even went on and on about how much he loved you (and your pussy of course). And believe it or not, it was really nice to know that he loved you to pieces while he was actively fucking you like he hated you and tearing the area below your waist to pieces. 

Fast forward to this morning and you were unsurprisingly sore from you guys’ late night activities. But before you can even recognize or acknowledge your soreness, Harry wakes up before you do. When he does, he also feels a level of soreness in his thighs and his back. But instead of fretting about it, a pretty smug smirk spreads across his face and his mind begins to wander back to everything that transpired last night. And judging by the little bit of soreness he’s feeling, he could only imagine how sore you were feeling. He did go pretty hard if he had to assess the the entire night.

After about 10 more minuets of in your words “being a stalker” (he considers it admiring) and watching you sleep while recalling the bits and pieces of last night, Harry finally decides to wake you up. It starts off with little kisses and coos into your ear, but seeing as you were knocked out, he was going to have to amp up his tactics. His gentle strokes to your back through your t-shirt turn into shakes and his voice gets a little louder. Eventually you do wake up with a couple grumbles of course before directing your attention to Harry.

“Good morning beautiful.” Harry hums, reaching his hand out to cradle the side of your head that wasn’t nestled into the pillow below.

“I’m not the one who looks like a literal god first thing in the morning but good morning to you too babe.” You reply, sending him a wide close lipped smile. 

“I strongly beg to differ on that one. But in other news, last night was fun.” Harry hums, sending a wide and smug grin your way. 

“Yeah, so much fun that i’ll be slowly regaining feeling from the waist down for the rest of the day.” You reply matter of factly. Even though you were trying to be smart, you did have an amazing time with Harry last night. It was so good that you could guarantee that it would be imprinted in your brain for a very long time, like forever. But even though you were still on cloud nine a little bit, you were also coming to grips with the soreness down there. Harry really did a number on you. 

“Want a painkiller?” Harry pouts towards you. 

“Please?” You whisper back softly. You’d take just about anything right now. Once you respond, Harry stokes your cheek one last time before moving to sit up and grab your painkillers. When he does this though, you notice that a wince leaves his mouth. Your mind instantly leaves your impending pain killers and goes right to Harry, you needed to figure out what was going on. When you see him reach towards his back, your first instinct is to lift up his shirt. And when you do, you’re met with red scratches littering his skin. “Oh my goodness babe!” You gasp, taking in all of the red scratches you’d left. Apparently you did a number on Harry too. “M’so sorry, I didn’t mean to scratch you up. It just felt so good I couldn’t help myself.” You apologize sorrowful behind him. 

“S’fine babe, at least I know that m’doing my job.” Harry chuckles, shuffling around the edge of the bed to face you. 

“I feel so bad though.” You sigh softly back to him. You liked a little bit of pain, but you didn’t want Harry to go through it if he didn’t ask. 

“Consider us even now. I always leave bruises and marks whenever we go at it and I always leave you a bit sore down there, even more so now.” Harry tries to reassure you, bringing his hand below the covers to softly wrap his hand around one of your thighs. 

“But you didn’t ask for it.” You reiterate. “At least let me give you a little massage.” You offer.

“Well I’m telling you now that I don’t mind you scratching and biting one bit. I actually like it.” He continues to reassure, giving you a light squeeze in the process. But that wasn’t going to cut it. “But if you wanna make it up to me, I guess you can rub me down with some of the soothing lotion we have in the bathroom.” Harry concedes before getting up and heading to the bathroom to grab the painkillers and the tube of soothing cream. When he comes back with the items, you promptly begin to sit up and get yourself ready to take care of him.

“Alright, how do you want me?” Harry asks, sitting the pill bottle on the bedside table and handing you the ointment. 

“On your front please. And take off your shirt too” You instruct as you slowly maneuver yourself around on the bed. Per your instruction, Harry tugs his shirt up and off of his body, leaving him completely naked before getting back onto the bed and lying flat on his front with his head burrowed into the pillows. After he’s all situated, you scoot in closer to him before lifting yourself to sit back on your calves. Normally you would straddle his waist but you were just too sore for that.

You then pick the tube of ointment from the bed, twisting the cap off before squeezing a good amount into your hand and placing the ointment back down. Now before you bring your hands down to Harry’s skin, you move the cream back and forth between your hands to warm it up a little bit. You wanted Harry to be as comfortable as possible. Once your palms are completely covered, you bring your hands to his shoulders and you begin working the product into his skin. As soon as your hands begin moving around on his shoulders, Harry instantly relaxes. Whenever you gave him little massages like this, he always felt good. Your hands were like magic when it came to his body. You knew exactly how much pressure to put on him and where to apply it. Like right now, you were expertly digging your palms into his shoulders and neck as you spread the ointment out.

“Feel good baby?” You coo down to him, continuing to spread the ointment across his skin. 

“So good.” Harry mumbles incoherently, being too engrossed in how good your hands felt on him to give you an understandable answer. As your hands continue on their journey down and across his back, Harry can feel himself awakening in other parts of his body. As if he didn’t get enough action the previous night, Harry’s cock begins to stir a bit against the bed. He wasn’t trying to get Hard, it’s just that your hands felt beyond amazing against him. After a couple more minuets of working your way down, your hands get closer to the dip in his back.

“Are there any other places where you’re sore?” You ask, stopping your movements to wait for an answer. 

“Can you get the backs of my thighs a little?” He asks, his tone a little on the timid side. He knew that you were sore as well, so he didn’t want to ask for much because of that. 

“Of course!” You reply, continuing to squeeze and dig your hands into his skin. You do this all the way down, paying attention to everything. You even spend a little time on his backside, which inevitably causes a few moans to fall from his mouth. When you get to his thighs, you really focus in on easing some of the tension in that area and relaxing him. And you did just that. Harry was on fire…but in a relaxed way. You were driving his cock crazy with the way your worked those hands of yours into him, but he was also very relaxed and ready to fall back asleep.

“Feels so good.” Harry slurs, enjoying every last drop of your massage.

“M’glad baby. Now flip over so I can get the front.” You instruct, softly tapping his backside to get him going.

“You don’t have to baby, we can just cuddle now. Know you’re sore too.” He offers. Harry was perfectly fine with what you gave him, which was way more than what he needed right now considering the fact that you were sorer than him. 

“Just let me get your chest then.” You bargain. You just wanted to make him feel good. When he turns over to face you, your eyes are immediately drawn to his cock that was swelling in his lap.

“S’just that your hands feel so good.” Harry explains once he sees you staring down towards his cock.

“M’just glad you’re enjoying it babe.” You hum. You liked seeing the good results of your work. “How about I suck you off after we take a nap.” You suggest, bringing your hands up to his shoulders to massage them a bit. 

“Only if you let me massage you once we wake up.” He barters back.

“You have a deal.” You agree.

“Good, now c’mere.” Harry says, lifting the sides of your face to pull you down to his. 

How could you not love a little pain mixed with pleasure?!

Masterlist

[multi-fandom-imagines-stuff]

could you do one where the reader was natasha and yelena’s “sibling” when they lived in ohio, and reader was taken by the red room with them, and then when reader was a teenager, they managed to escape, leaving natasha and yelena behind, thinking reader was dead. after they take down the red room, they find the reader and have a sibling's reunion? and could you keep it gender-neutral please?

Castle on the Hill

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff/sibling!reader, Yelena Belova/sibling!reader

Description: The reader was Natasha and Yelena's "sibling" when they were undercover in Ohio, and gets taken into the Red Room with them. After escaping as a teenager, the reader stays alone, leaving everyone to believe they are dead until one day, they recieve a call from a familiar voice.

Warning: mentions of the Red Room and the torture they caused, i think that's pretty much it

Word count: 2,002

A/N: i had so much fun writing this omg it seriously made me want to cry! i hope you enjoy it!!

✩❀✩❀✩

“Tasha, stop!” I cried, giggling slightly as my sister and her friend chased me through the fields that were located a few blocks away from home.

The fields were my favorite place to play. My older sister Natasha, who was three years older than me, always liked to come to the fields with her friends. A few months ago, I had turned six and mom told me that I was old enough to go play in the fields with Tasha. My younger sister Yelena was only four, so she was still too young to play with us. But that was okay, I still liked to play with her in our backyard. We even had a playground. Tasha had taught me how to do the monkey bars without getting scared, and I passed the skill on to Lena.

Today, I was playing tag with Tasha and her friend. Of course, with them being nine and me only being six, they were a lot faster than me. Being faster than me meant that no matter how fast I ran, they would always catch up to me. Nat reached her hand out and shoved me lightly in the back. However, I wasn’t expecting it, and it caught me off guard, making me stumble a bit. My foot caught on a rock and I went tumbling forward, rolling down a small hill. The smell of grass overcame me as I continued to fall, hearing a sickening crack followed by a blinding pain in my leg. Finally, I came to a stop as I reached the bottom of the hill. I looked down at my leg. It was bent at a weird angle, and the pain was almost unbearable as I started to wail.

“Y/n!” Tasha screamed as she ran down the hill after me. “Are you okay?”

“No,” I cried, grabbing her and burying my head in her shoulder. “My leg really hurts.”

“Okay, hold on, we’re gonna get you home to mom, okay? She’ll know how to make it better,” Tasha reassured me.

I nodded feebly as she helped me up, sitting me in the basket of her friend’s bike before riding back home to get help.

——

My eyes shot open, tearing me from my dream. It was rare that I dreamt about my childhood. I had very few memories from that time, and the one I had just dreamt about was one of the most vivid. I broke my leg that day, and it took two months to heal. I remember Yelena being upset because it meant I couldn’t play outside with her for a while. As much as I didn’t like to recall that time in my life, I couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

Amongst my other memories from my childhood, there were things like my first crush—a kid in my kindergarten class—when I was five, the friends that I had made and had to leave behind, and family dinners every night. But what I remembered more than anything else were the fields we always used to play in. In the distance of those fields, there was a huge mansion made from stone, and Natasha and I always used to imagine it was a castle. Whenever the sun was setting, the orange sky made it look like there was a dragon in the castle blowing fire into the air.

Suddenly, I was pulled from my memories by the sound of my phone ringing. I looked at it sketchily. I never gave my phone number out to anybody, so the odds of getting an actual phone call were extremely rare. Against my better judgment, I picked up my phone and answered the call.

“Who are you and how did you get this number?” I asked, trying my best to sound intimidating.

“Y/n?” A voice came through from the other end.

The voice almost sounded familiar, like I had heard it before, but I couldn’t place it.

“I’m not going to ask again,” I said, my fist balling up at my side. “I am not the kind of person you want to piss off.”

“Oh my god, Yelena, it’s them,” the voice spoke, but it sounded far off like the speaker had brought the phone away from their mouth.

Did she just say Yelena?

“Tasha?” I questioned, my voice cracking ever so slightly as realization set in.

“Yeah, it’s me,” She whispered reassuringly. “It’s me.”

I fell speechless, the phone almost dropping from my hand as I moved to wipe away the tears that were already beginning to roll down my face.

Natasha, Yelena, and I were all brought into the Red Room at the same time. Natasha was eleven, I was eight, and poor little Yelena was only six. What we went through was something that no child—or grown adult for that matter—should ever have to go through. I was there for ten years. Ten years of being held prisoner, of being tortured, of being forced to kill.

I was sixteen when I graduated the Red Room. I thought it meant things were over, that I could run as far away as I could and never look back, but I was wrong. The Red Room continued to control me for two years after that, until one day I faked my own death and got out. It killed me inside to know that Lena and Tasha thought I was dead, but I knew I had no future if I stayed. My only regret was that I couldn’t save everyone else.

I distanced myself from the world, afraid of what I had become, what I had done, and what I was capable of. I escaped eleven years ago, and I’ve been alone ever since.

“Y/n, are you there?” Natasha’s voice came through the phone again, drawing me back to reality.

“How did you find me? I’m supposed to be dead.”

“I know a guy,” She responded, and I could practically hear her smirking.

Right. She’s friends with the Stark guy who owns practically the best technology on earth.

“Listen, there’s a lot we need to tell you about, and I think a reunion is in order,” Natasha explained. “We have your location and we’ll be there in an hour. Be ready.”

With that, Natasha ended the call, leaving me alone in silence. Half of my brain told me this wasn’t happening. That wasn’t really Natasha on the phone, it was just some cruel way for the Red Room to find me. But the other half of my brain believed that everything that just happened was real. As much as I wanted to err on the side of caution, the thought of seeing my sisters again made me the happiest I’ve felt since I was a child.

I glanced down at my phone to check the time. Ten minutes had passed since the phone call, giving me about fifty minutes to pack up my things and get ready.

Packing wasn’t hard. I lived a very minimalistic lifestyle, mainly due to the fact that I didn’t have a proper job, and I was always ready to run at a moment’s notice if I ever caught wind of the Red Room near me.

I finished packing and proceeded to pace the floor until the hour was up and I heard a knock at my door. Deciding that I could never be too cautious, I grabbed my handgun and checked that it was loaded before pointing it at the ground and approaching the door.

“Who’s there?” I called.

“It’s us. It’s Natasha and Yelena,” A voice with a thick Russian accent called back.

Yelena.

“Prove it,” I said again, still keeping my guard up. “Tell me something that only you two would know.”

There was a moment of silence before someone spoke up. This time, it was Nat.

“When we were little, you would spend almost every summer night catching fireflies because I told you they could grant wishes. When you found out they couldn’t, you were so mad, you didn’t talk to me for a week.”

I smiled slightly at the memory. Turning the gun’s safety on, I tucked it into my waistband and opened the door, staring face-to-face with my sisters for the first time in over two decades. Almost immediately, the two of them embraced me in a tight hug, and I never wanted to let go.

“So, what did you need to tell me?” I asked once we all pulled away from the hug.

“We’ll tell you in the car. We have to get going though, we have a long journey ahead of us,” Nat told me.

“Where are we going?” I questioned.

“Home.”

——

Natasha and Yelena explained everything to me. About how they teamed up, about how they killed Dreykov, and about how the Red Room was finally gone.

“So, the other widows, are they safe?” I questioned, processing everything they had just told me.

“Yes,” Yelena answered from the passenger seat, turning around to face me in the back. “There is no one controlling them anymore, and we are currently working toward undoing all of the mind control the Red Room created.”

“I can’t believe you guys took down the Red Room without me!” I exclaimed, crossing my arms. “I would’ve loved to help.”

“Y/n, we thought you were dead!” Nat tried to reason, but I wouldn’t listen.

I wasn’t seriously angry with her, and she knew that. Teasing each other was something we did all the time as kids.

“You can’t be mad at us,” Yelena raised her hands in mock defense. “We literally just saved so many lives.”

I continued to cross my arms, ignoring them both.

“C’mon, y/n, talk to us,” Nat glanced back at me through her mirror as she drove.

Still, I said nothing. I was extremely stubborn as a child, and I guess somethings never change.

“I’ve got an idea,” Lena whispered to Nat.

“February made me shiver,” Yelena started singing. “With every paper I’d deliver. Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn’t take one more step.”

“I can’t remember if I cried when I read about his widowed bride,” Nat joined in. “But something touched me deep inside. The day the music died.”

The two of them went quiet and I knew they were expecting me to sing the next part. Yelena looked back at me, and eventually, I caved.

“So bye-bye, Miss American Pie,” I sang slowly, a smile creeping onto my face. “Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry. And them good ol’ boys were drinking whiskey and rye, singin’ ‘this’ll be the day that I die. This’ll be the day that I die…’”

Suddenly, all three of us were singing as loud as we could.

“Did you write the book of love, and do you have faith in god above? If the bible tells you so. Now, do you believe in rock ‘n’ roll? Can music save your mortal soul? And can you teach me how to dance real slow?”

I burst out laughing with glee, causing Yelena and Nat to follow suit. We laughed for what seemed like an eternity, until we were all red in the face and gasping for air.

Trying to catch my breath, I looked out the window just in time to see us speed past a sign that read:

Welcome to Ohio

I continued to stare out the window as I watched the fields fly by. The sun was just beginning to set, and out in the distance, I could see the “castle” that we always used to admire.

Suddenly, I thought back to when we were kids. I was filled with all the memories we made in Ohio, as a family. Even though I knew it was all fake, it was real in my head. Melina and Alexei were my parents, and Tasha and Lena were my sisters. Ohio was my home, and nothing anyone said or did could take that away from me.

[harryhandstan]

or the one where you forget harry’s birthday and try desperately to make it up to him

just wanted to write something small to try to get back into writing after my break! thank you all for your encouragement, excitement, and patience and I apologize for it being a few days later than I wanted it to be! this is probably the closest to angst that you’ll ever get from me :)

thank you to @1980holland, @summertimestyles, @tbslenthusiast, @bigspoonstyles​, @angryinternetduck, and @iconicharry for letting me run my ideas by you and being so kind in general. more thanks to @tbslenthusiast and @bigspoonstyles for being the most wonderful beta readers and just lovely friends overall!

this is another part of my dad!harry series so as always they are linked in order if you want to re-visit them or read from the beginning if you choose to!

⭐ I Want Your Belly ⭐ Wonderful and Warm ⭐ Washed Away in You ⭐ Do You Want to Build a Snowman? ⭐ A Styles Family Christmas ⭐

word count: 3.6k

“Harry, I’m running late do you think you could drop Sterling off at the sitter’s on your way to set?”

You’re already dressed, pulling on your shoes and grabbing your bag and keys from where they were tossed next to the dresser from the evening before. You dart into the bathroom to quickly brush your teeth.

Harry pokes his head around the doorframe, a wrinkled shirt in his hand, rushing through his own morning routine, “Thought she was coming here?”

“She can’t today, remember? Today’s our day to drop him off.” You put your toothbrush away just as he joins you, taking the toothpaste from your hand to use for himself.

“Alright, yeah. Y’ll have to pick him up later though, think it’ll be a late one for me today.” 

“That’s fine. I’ll throw his bag together and leave it by the door for you to grab on the way out. He’s already been fed and changed so he should be all set. I’ll transfer his car seat to your car too, so you won’t have to worry about that.”

He still has the toothbrush in his mouth, so you stand on your tiptoes to give him a peck to the cheek, adding a “bye, love you!” on your way out the bathroom door.

“Wait..y’don’t have anything else to say to me before you leave?” His mouth now rinsed, he crosses his arms and leans against the doorway, a tired smile working its way across his lips.

“Um..be careful? Don’t drive too fast with Sterling in the car.” 

“I never drive fast,” He takes a quick peek in the mirror, running his hands through his messy curls before turning back to you, “S’that all? Nothing else to say?”

You search your brain, trying to remember anything else you may have forgotten, “Oh! Right..”

His face lights up then, thinking maybe he was gonna finally hear the words he’d been waiting all morning to hear from you.  

“Make sure you tell the sitter there’s an extra pacifier in the right side of his bag that she can leave there in his cubby in case we ever forget one..and that I’ll drop a pack of diapers and wipes off when I pick him up cause I know he’s running low.”

His brow furrows slightly with disappointment, but you’re too busy to notice, blowing him another kiss before rushing out the door of your shared bedroom and down the hall to get Sterling’s bag ready.

He’s still pouting as he opens his top drawer to select a pair of socks for the day.

He couldn’t believe you forgot it was his birthday.

In your opinion, 6 weeks was not long enough for maternity leave. You’re sure no amount of time in your happy bubble with Harry and Sterling would’ve been enough. 

You were somehow able to push those 6 weeks to 12, your boss kindly agreeing to let you do what work you could from home. Eventually, that extension had to come to an end though and there was no other way you could avoid returning to ‘normal’ life.

You’re an hour into your work day but you still can’t shake the feeling that you had truly forgotten something. Harry’s words from the morning ring through your head again and again but you still couldn’t pinpoint what was special about this particular day. It was a Monday..was there some sort of significant anniversary from your relationship over the years, something small but important to him? 

You grab your phone when you have a chance, a quick lull in your morning that allows you to scroll through your phone’s calendar to double check anything your phone may have not yet notified you about. There’s nothing saved, and it does nothing to jog your memory of what importance today’s date holds. 

A text from Anne comes through and your heart stops when you read the message: Tell the birthday boy his present from me is on the way! I was a day later than I should’ve been sending it out so hope he won’t be too upset with me. All my love to you and Sterling as well!

No. Oh no. Guilt bubbles up through your chest and you cover your mouth to stop from cursing too loudly and scaring your nearby coworkers. You have to steady your hand so you can navigate your way through your contacts to Harry’s number, trying to calculate where in his schedule for the day he may be now. It was too early for him to be taking a lunch break, but you silently prayed he would be on a break in between filming scenes that would allow him to answer.

He had told you in the past that even if he wasn’t able to have his phone with him, it was always nearby. Especially now that you had Sterling, he tried to make himself available no matter how busy his schedule would be for the day. Even if he wasn’t able to answer, he would always make time to call back. 

So when you try 2 times with no success of getting through, you stop. You had both agreed before that 3 calls was your distress signal, and you didn’t want his mind to think the worst when he did see you’d tried to get through to him. A text seems too informal, too little for the man you love and adore. He deserved better than that, better than you, a partner who forgot one of the most important days where he should be made to feel special and loved every second.

It wasn’t like you didn’t know this day was coming, you did, of course you did. Being a new parent had well and truly ruined your memory. Turns out birthing a tiny human requires learning a ton of new information to keep your little one alive, meaning that even almost 3 months later your brain hadn’t been fully restored and you weren’t sure if it ever would be. 

How could you make up for something like this? You suppose you could pretend that it was all a joke; that you’d had this elaborate plan all along to surprise him and make him think that you had forgotten his birthday. But you couldn’t lie to him like that, it would only cause you to hate yourself even more later for covering it up. Plus, Harry knew you too well and would see right through that, and then whatever hurt you’re sure he was feeling now would only grow. 

You know he would eventually forgive you, if he hadn’t already, but that didn’t stop guilt from overriding your thoughts. If anything it made you feel almost worse knowing that he would be so incredibly forgiving.

God, you could only imagine the reaction of the fans if they found out. Some of them already had some questionable opinions about you, a few even going so far as to speculate if Sterling was truly Harry’s child, claiming that you had somehow “trapped” Harry into a relationship with you and that it would eventually fail. Harry had tried to ban you from going too deep, but sometimes your curiosity got the best of you, prompting you to scroll through Twitter or Instagram occasionally. It usually ended with you getting your feelings hurt and Harry having to remind you once again to stay away.

You try to find something in your memory, anything that he may have mentioned wanting (or at this point even needing) over the past few months. Aside from the mundane, everyday things like laundry detergent and shampoo to add to the shopping list, you couldn’t recall a thing. You only had 6 hours before you had to pick up Sterling, so you had to come up with something fast, something amazing.

What do you get for the golden boy who has everything?

You couldn’t believe you didn’t think of it before. It was something you had discovered not long after Sterling’s birth, but like many other things it had gotten easily dismissed and pushed down to the bottom of your list. 

Today, it only takes a few clicks through the website, a double checking of the spelling of the name that will be on the certificate, and a quick selection of a location for where you want it to be for Harry to now be the (hopefully) proud owner of his very own star in the sky.

After all it was Harry who found the name Sterling for your child, it was him who whispered “buonanotte nostra piccola stella” each night as he helped you put Sterling to bed; a phrase he had been most pleased with himself for learning, the Italian to English translation being “goodnight our little star”. If he couldn’t be there to say it, he made sure you knew the proper enunciation of the expression so that you could pass it along from him. It was always followed by 3 kisses to the top of his son’s head.

Thankfully, you were able to use the printer at work to print out the certificate and the map, slipping them both into a manilla envelope and tucking it away in your bag before you clock out for the day. Though you wished you had time to stop and select a nice frame, you only have 30 minutes before having to pick up Sterling, so you opt for a speedy trip to the nearest bakery and grocery store to gather what other supplies you’ll need for the rest of the evening.

By the time you and Sterling make it home, you still haven’t heard anything from Harry. You send up another silent prayer, more for his safety than anything, but also selfishly for yourself and his forgiveness towards you. It wasn’t unusual for you to not hear from him most days, and you remind yourself of his words from that morning about most likely having to work late. 

You push away the guilt that threatens to invade your thoughts again, doing what you need to do for Sterling to keep him content while you start preparations for dinner. Once you have him settled in his swing nearby, you take a moment to scroll through your music selection on your phone, deciding that having something playing in the background would be better than being alone with your thoughts while you work. 

You’ve just washed the veggies to chop for the salad when your phone dings, indicating a new message. You know it’s from Harry, and you’re almost scared to look. Instant relief floods your body when you do have the courage to take a peek: Home in an hour. Love you! Give bub kisses from me xx

The “love you” fills you with overwhelming comfort; takes you back to the day you first met him and how your heart skipped a beat when you realized it was you he was trailing through the crowd of people to approach, a cozy smile plastered on his face. You’ll never forget the gentle way he had spoken and how even though you were surrounded by at least a hundred other people at the party, he didn’t take his eyes off you the whole night. You let out a huge sigh of breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding in and contemplate the best way to respond, finally concluding that simple was better.

Be careful, baby. Love you more!! Bubs and I miss you

His text gives you more motivation than you already had to power through making his favorite meal for him. An hour is plenty of time to get everything done, so when Sterling gets fussy and wants to be held, you tuck him against your side, doing what you can with one hand while keeping a tight grip on your son. You know he had missed you when he almost instantly relaxes at being close to you, and your heart hurts at the thought of ever being away from him again, even for something important like your job.

It still takes you a minute to get him calm enough to rest his head on your shoulder, so you don’t hear the sound of the door, or the clink of Harry’s keys or the sound of his footsteps falling down the hallway.

“Need some help, lovie?”

His voice, which normally calms you, nearly makes you jump out of your skin. So when you turn and say, “I thought you said an hour!” it comes out more like an attack than grateful to see him again.

“S’what I thought but we rushed through so I could leave earlier. Is that a problem?” His face is unreadable, somewhere between confused and disappointed with your tone.

“No! Of course not, Harry, I just..” That’s when your voice breaks, your guilt and emotions of forgetting his birthday finally being too much to hold back.

“Hey, don’t do that,” He’s moving the rest of the way through the kitchen to you, a hand smoothing a small circle over your back as you try to wipe your tears, “Please don’t cry.”

“I just wanted to have everything ready by the time you got home, to make up for this morning. For forgetting it was your birthday in the first place. I’m so sorry, H.” 

“You’ve got nothin’ to apologize for, angel. You don’t have to make anything up to me. We’ve both been crazy busy lately, I’m surprised I even remembered what day it was. Here, why don’t I put Sterling in his swing and help you finish dinner?”

“No, absolutely not. It’s your birthday and I know you’re tired. Plus, I think he missed us today. You know how much he loves his swing but I didn’t get very much done before he got upset.”

“Alright, well, I’ll take him while you get everything else done. How’s that sound?”

You nod an agreement at his plan, transferring Sterling from your shoulder to his. There’s a few whimpers of disapproval, but he lets out a small sigh of contentment once he realizes it’s Harry who holds him now. Harry turns his head to smack a few kisses to the baby’s cheek to further pacify him. Sterling’s eyes open briefly, gazing sleepily up at his father. 

“Hi, bub, missed you. Let’s go see what kind of trouble we can get into while Mummy makes dinner, huh?” 

“Not too much trouble, boys. It’s almost bedtime,” He winks at you as he turns to leave and you stop him, “Hey, wait, try this. Tell me if it needs anything.”

You stir a spoon through the pasta sauce you’ve had simmering away on the stove, bringing it to his lips with a hand underneath, careful not to drip it down the front of his white button-up or the top of Sterling’s head. He lets you feed him the spoonful, but doesn’t take his eyes off your lips.  Before you even have time to ask him how it is, he’s trapping his mouth against yours, a satisfied hum at the sauce mixing with the taste of you.

“Delicious.” He runs his tongue along his bottom lip, catching a bit of sauce that ended up smudged at the corner of his mouth.

“Really?”

“Really, darling, it’s perfect.” 

At this point it’s obvious he’s not talking about the sauce, and you push yourself up to plant another kiss on his lips.

“Another,” He gently demands, and you oblige, but he doesn’t pull away yet, “C’mon, few more.”

“Looks like Sterling’s not the only needy baby in this house tonight. How many more kisses do you need?”

He smirks down at you, “It’s my 27th birthday, innit? Think I deserve 27 kisses, don’t you?”

You send him away with the promise of fulfilling his request for the rest of his kisses later, finally able to rush through finishing the last of what was needed to complete the meal and call him back to see the table full of everything you’ve prepared. 

Sterling is bright eyed in Harry’s arms again, and you hope that feeding him will lull him back to sleep for the night. With him having to stay with a sitter on the days that you and Harry were both working, you’d recently had to switch to using bottles for some of his meals. The sitter had assured you that he was adjusting to the bottle well when he was with her, but it had been a frustrating transition for you. 

“You’ve just spoiled him to the usual way, love. It’ll get easier. Want me to try?” He holds out his hand, offering to take the bottle and Sterling back, but you refuse. You know Harry’s right, it will get easier eventually, but right now you know he’s just still tired and hungry. So you give in, lifting your shirt and tossing a blanket over him while he eats. 

“Eat so you can blow out your candles and then open your present.”

He sets a plate of food in front of you and passes you a fork so you can eat with your free hand.

His mouth is full of food but his green eyes light up when he looks at you, “I have a present?” 

“Of course you do. It’s your birthday, isn’t it?” 

“Can we skip cake and do the present first?”

You giggle at his excitement, but the truth is you’re nervous. You know he will be nice enough to tell you he loves it, but you also know him well enough to read the truth on his face. 

“Sure, birthday boy, whatever you want.” Sterling’s finished eating by now so you rest him on your shoulder, tapping his back a few times until you hear a small burp. Harry’s plate is mostly empty now, as is yours, so you tuck Sterling into his swing while you go to retrieve the envelope from earlier in the day. Your heart races as you may your way back to where he sits at the table, his eyes covered dramatically as he waits.

“You can open,” You slide the envelope in front of him and prop your chin up on one of your hands as you watch his fingers work to open the clasp. The papers sit upside down on the table and you inhale a deep breath as he flips them over. His face is full of curiosity as his eyes scan the page. 

“Did you..is this real?”

“Well I’m not sure how official it is but, yes, it’s real.” You take the map from behind the certificate and point out the location, “According to this it’s..”

“Is my star right over our house?” His eyes are wide as he studies the coordinates, “Can we go see if we can see it now?”

How can you say no to that? You let him lead you out the back door of your home and out into the cool air of the night. He only lets go of your hand when he reaches the edge of the yard, pointing straight upwards.

“It’s gotta be that big one, right? That mine, right?” You look over his shoulder down at the map and then back up to where he’s pointing.

“Yep, I think that’s the one. Unless..do you have the map upside down?”

“No! Do I?” He squints his eyes, bringing it closer to his face in an attempt to read it in the dark. 

“You definitely did. It’s that one there..to the left of the big one we thought was yours.”

“S’gorgeous, baby,” He tugs your hand until your smushed against his side and he tosses his arm around you, letting out a deep sigh as he continues to stare up at the sky, “Thank you so much.”

“You really like it?” You’ve got both arms wrapped around his middle now, enjoying the feeling of his chest rising and falling.

“I really do, angel. Can’t believe you named a star after me twice.” 

“Twice?” You tilt your head upwards to look at his face.

“Yeah. Twice. That one,” He points up again, “My favorite one though, the greatest gift you will probably ever give me, is probably snoring in his swing right about now.”

As sweet as the moment is, you can’t help but snort out a laugh at that, “If he’s anything like you, he’s definitely snoring right now.”

“Hey, I don’t snore!”

“Oh yes, you do. Feel like I’m sleeping in a cave with a bear sometimes.”

That earns you a big, booming laugh from him, and he pulls you even closer to kiss the top of your head. You turn your body to face him, squeezing him once and kissing his chest through his shirt.

“Happy birthday, Harry.”

“Thank you,” He places his hands on either side of your face, thumbs rubbing along your cheeks, a slow smile sneaking its way across his face, “Can I have the rest of my kisses now?”

The next time Anne and Gemma come to visit, he’s sweeping them down to the end of the hallway leading into your living room, to where he now proudly shows them the framed certificate and map sitting side by side on the wall. Of course they had both already heard about it before. The day after his birthday he had spent 10 minutes on the phone with each of them bragging about it. He’s got Sterling in his arms as he shows it off now. He holds him up next to the two frames.

“How lucky am I, huh? Not every man can say they have two stars named after them, can they?”

thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!

as always likes, reblogs, replies, and feedback are welcome!

tag list: @1980holland, @summertimestyles, @la-cey, @tbslenthusiast​

[amintyworld]

The Pig Led to Slaughter - Drabble for Griffin's Blog (Part One)

A/N: Hey guys so @griffintail does ask collabs with Lemon Anon on their blog. Their latest story (collab 6) didn't have enough angst so I decided to make some. This is the result. You should check out their collab for context since it is an AU of sorts. Don't want to? Here's the summary: Pirate Captain Dad! Technoblade with SBI+Fundy, Y/N Style. Hold on to your bootstraps, we're just getting started. >:) - Minty

TW: Suspicion, mention of murder, lying, mention of getting arrested, cursing. (Let me know if I need to tag anything else!)

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It was early in the morning, the sun just peeking over the town’s buildings, that a loud knock awoke the blonde light-sleeper. Startled, he’d nearly fallen out of his own bed, muttering a few curses to himself. Untangling himself from the sheets, he stumbled out of his room. Three more knocks sounded from the door. Briefly, he was relieved seeing Y/N curled up in her bed with Tommy, fast asleep. At the very least, they didn’t get woken up.

Another three knocks - what could possibly be so urgent at this hour?

“I’m coming, I’m coming…” He grumbled as he descended the stairs, moving across the house toward the front door. Pulling the robe a bit more over himself, he begrudgingly opened the door. Still gaining his bearings from being abruptly awoken, it took the older man a minute or two for his brain to process the royal blue uniforms.

Navy. Shit.

Well, if he wasn’t awake before, that fact certainly slapped the older man into reality. Two officers, swords at their hips, looked at him sternly, almost as if they were sizing up how much of a threat he was. “Good morning, officers. How may I help you?”

“Sorry to disturb you at this hour, Mr. Craft. There was a recent attack at sea…” The Naval Officer’s gaze slightly peers beside Phil into the house, almost as if looking for something. “Could we ask you a few questions?”

Despite how uncomfortable these two made him feel, Phil knew he couldn’t exactly turn them away. If he did, they’d just come back with more officers and take him to jail. No, he couldn’t risk it - he had Y/N to think about now. Technoblade trusted him with looking out for his daughter. It’s not as if he could simply pick up and move like he used to. Besides, they couldn’t have figured out any incriminating details about him… could they? He willed himself to calm as he opened up the door further. “Of course, come in gentlemen.”

The two soldiers scanned the room, moving through it, looking at every detail. Phil gained a little confidence as he slowly realized something - they don’t even know what they’re looking for. They're being too obvious about it, they wanted him to give them hints, reactions, anything. But sadly for them, he was smarter than that. A small smile appeared on his face as he moved to light a candle.

“I’m sorry for the state of things, I wasn’t exactly expecting company.”

“No worries sir.” An officer dismissed with a small smile as Phil turned around, candle holder in hand. Phil moved over toward the couch, placing the candle holder on the table for a bit of light in the dark room.

“We can talk over here - can I offer either of you anything to drink? Coffee, tea...?”

The other Naval Officer, who was previously looking at the mirror with a vase of flowers in front of it in the doorway, spoke: “We’re fine. It’ll only take a few moments of your time, at most.”

“Of course.” Phil agreed, settling on one end of the couch. “You said there was an attack?”

The more friendly officer agreed. “Yes, a few days ago last I heard. A band of pirates attacked a cargo ship carrying the Kingdom’s trade. The captain hasn’t been much of a threat before, but since it was the property of the crown the King wants him captured. His name was Technoblade, I believe?”

“Technoblade…” Phil murmured to himself, acting confused. “What a strange name indeed.”

“He’s known to frequent this town for supplies, a few sources say you’ve interacted?”

“Well, I’m quite the merchant myself, I’m not entirely surprised - Though I can’t confirm for sure.”

“How so, Mr. Craft?”

Phil nervously laughed. “I’m afraid to tell you, gentlemen, that I seem to have misplaced my logbook. I’m planning on seeing the bookmaker on that in a few day’s time, however. My apologies.”

“No need, perhaps you can recognize him from the picture?” The other piped up, unfolding a piece of parchment to reveal a drawn sketch of his son. It was pretty accurate. Scarily so. It captured the fire-like determination in his son’s eyes that never extinguished. The scars were all in the correct places, even one close to his eye that Phil recalled he fretted over when Techno had arrived home at last, claiming that the blow could’ve blinded him.

Phil tensed slightly, and the more aggressive naval officer’s eyes flicked up to his. They bore into him. “Is there something wrong, Mr. Craft?”

Keep calm. Don’t give anything away. They need you.

Wilbur needs you. Fundy needs you. Tommy needs you. Y/N needs you.

Technoblade needs you.

“Pardon me, officers - just… lifelike, that’s all.” Phil put on his best smile. “Nearly gave me a fright.” He laughed a bit, and the officer holding the poster gave him a warm smile.

“No worries, sir. Just take a good look for a second - do you recognize this man?”

‘WANTED’ was sprawled across the top. ‘Armed and Dangerous’ is written at the bottom. Oh, and there was the reward for catching him. Phil saw so many zeroes he didn’t know whether to be proud or disgusted. After all, Phil couldn’t count the number of times, in the beginning, he’d told Techno how dangerous this business was, the number of pirates who got caught and put in prison or were victims of the gallows. He told him it was risky, he told him he could die.

But, he guessed, Technoblade always lived life to the fullest, a bit more on edge than others ever dreamed they would. It was a part of him Phil could never change. It was a part of him Phil loved. So, even though he wanted him to be safe, who was he to take that adventure-seeking spark in his eyes away? He was happy, after all. But now, reality began to seep in. Reality of Y/N growing up without a father, without her father. Before, Technoblade had nothing to lose.

Now? Now, he had everything to lose.

As the two officers looked to him for an answer, Phil swallowed the knot in his throat. He knew lying to a government official was a traitorous offense. He knew what would happen if they caught wind of the truth. But he and his sons… they were apples from the same tree, he supposed. Risk-takers. Liars.

For Phil… family always came first.

“No… No, I can’t say I’ve seen him.” Phil shook his head slightly. “Though I thank you both for the warning, I’ll definitely be on the lookout for him.”

A yawn sounded from behind him as someone descended the stairs. “Phil…?” Phil’s head snapped over to Tommy, who looked weary at the scene in front of him. The father could feel the officer’s gazes on him from just sitting there. He’d hoped that he could get the officers to leave before Tommy or Y/N woke up. At this point he hoped Tommy could stay as calm as he was, or he could risk undoing all the protection Phil had done to keep them from suspicion. “Phil, what’s…?”

“Oh, Tommy. I didn’t mean to wake you up this early.” Phil stood, noticing Tommy’s stiffened stance at the Navy, moving forward to gently place his hands on his youngest’s shoulders. He turned to the other two with a smile. “My son.” Phil could feel Tommy shaking with anger and fear. He squeezed the teen’s shoulders to help bring him back to reality before he boiled over. “I’m so sorry to put you in such a state when we have guests, I didn’t think it would take this long.” Tommy’s eyes flicked up to his, a silent message. Is this about Techno? Phil gave a slight nod. “Hm, yes I know you must be hungry… go on upstairs and get changed, I’ll try to make you some breakfast in a minute, I promise.”

Tommy’s shoulders relaxed as he awkwardly looked at the officers, standing down. “Uh… right. Right. I’m sorry… I…” He turned without another word, quickly climbing the stairs.

“Your boy okay?” The naval officer asked, eyeing the staircase.

Phil nervously laughed. “You’ll have to excuse him, he gets nervous around strangers.” He explained. “I really should be getting to making breakfast, is there anything else I can help you both with?”

The other piped up, reassuring. “I don’t believe so, Mr. Craft. We’re deeply sorry to have inconvenienced you.”

“No, please…” Phil answered. “This was quite informative.”

“Keep the poster as a reference and notify us if you see him in the area… don’t approach, he’s known to be unstable, sir - talking to himself.”

“I see.” Phil nodded as he led the two to the door. The voices were acting up again… something must’ve happened. “Thank you so much for letting me know.”

They both tipped their hats in respect. “Sir.”

“Sir.” The one behind him repeated. “Have a good day, Mr. Craft. We’ll keep in touch.”

Gods, Phil hoped they wouldn’t.

----------------------------

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[jamespotterthefirst]

As Long as You Love Me So

aka the fake Christmas date (Ethan x f!MC)

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 2.9K Warning: some language 

Premise: She is in desperate need of a date for her cousin’s pretentious dinner.

Author’s Note: Back at it again at Krispy Kreme with the fake dating trope. This takes place during the holidays in book 1. Thank you to @aestheticartsx​ for pre-reading this 💖

Can you pretend to be my date tonight? 

The biting Boston breeze cut into her exposed skin with an unforgiving bite, leaving her fingers numb as she sent the text. All around her, chatting and laughing couples milled about, basking in the golden lights of the city's Christmastime decorations. Those who weren't affectionately enraptured in each other or studiously deciding which of the many restaurants to pick from threw curious glances her way. 

Please? It's a long story but I can tell you when you get here. I'll pay you. 

Vaguely, she regretted the pale pink cocktail dress that left her shoulders, legs, and much of her chest exposed. An hour ago, it had seemed like the perfect dress to force her pretentious cousin, Griselda, into quiet envy. And while her plan had been successful for the better part of five minutes, Lilac's arrival at the restaurant without a date had been enough for her cousin to revert back to her sneering, condescending, look-at-my-successful-broker-boyfriend ways. 

 I'm offended, Lil. I'd do that shit for free. 

Bryce's text brought Lilac back to her current desperate situation. With unfeeling, shivering fingers she texted back. 

You don't need to know why? You'll do it? 

Bryce's reply came in instantly which Lilac was grateful for. The sudden breeze that rustled through her hair and bare skin made her shiver uncontrollably. 

No need to know why. I'd do anything for you. 

Her triumphant smile lasted only second as her phone announced a second text from Bryce. 

But I can't tonight. I'm assisting Dr. Tanaka and he'll murder me if I back out now. I'm so sorry, Lil. 

Lilac exhaled sharply, her breath swirling into the night like fog. This was what she got for letting her anger get the best of her. Wincing, she recalled the lie that had hurled from her lips with vehement, unstoppable force. 

“Not that it's any of your business but I'm dating a successful doctor from work.”

Griselda's brief shock had been vindication enough but when it slowly ebbed into a wicked, challenging sneer, Lilac felt utterly pathetic.

“Fuck her,” Lilac muttered with a sudden rush of righteous anger.  

So help her God, she was going to march back into the restaurant and promptly inform her stupid cousin that her dating life was none of her business. So what if Lilac couldn't make a relationship last longer than a few months or if she dated around too much? She would be damned if she allowed her pompous, gold digging cousin to slut shame her. 

“Please tell me you're not a smoker, Rookie.”

The familiar baritone sent a white hot thrill through her body before her brain registered who it belonged to. 

Handsome as ever, Doctor Ethan Ramsey stood before her, eyeing her quizzically. He looked magnificently elegant in a dark suit, topped with a dark blue coat and scarf. The twinkling Christmas lights of the street sent his striking features into sharp relief, making him appear even more attractive than should be allowed. 

He waited for her reply and Lilac jolted with a start. Nearby, a small group smoked as they talked and laughed. 

“No smoking for me.” She grimaced and added as an afterthought, “Though if I were a smoker, I'd need a full pack right about now.”

“Rough night?” 

“You've no idea.”

“Is that why you're standing out here in the freezing cold with no coat wearing…” 

He trailed off, piercing blue eyes sweeping over her attire. Lilac held her breath, the heat of his gaze feeling like a gentle caress of his fingers on her skin. 

“...That?” 

His gaze reunited with hers and they looked at one another in the noisy street, a charged silence stretching between them. 

Then, too suddenly, Ethan looked away, busying himself with removing his coat and draping it over Lilac's shoulders without much ceremony. The pleasant waft of his cologne comforted her almost as much as the welcomed warmth of his coat. 

“I never took you for the type to like any of these trendy restaurants,” she commented when there was nothing else to say. “Especially during the holidays, with so many people everywhere.”

Ethan grimaced slightly. “I had to join Banner Health for dinner. It seems cozying up to them at the baseball game a few months ago was not enough to get a good deal for our patients.”

Lilac pulled his coat closer around herself but said nothing. 

“What about you? Why are you so determined to die of hypothermia?” His eyes briefly swiveled to her dress again. “Is your date going that terribly?”

Ethan added the last part casually enough but Lilac sensed that he was extremely interested in the answer. 

“I would take a horrible date over what's going on in there.” She gestured toward the window of the restaurant with a nod. At Ethan's evident confusion, she added, “Family dinner.”

“Aren't you close with your family?” 

“My mother, father, and siblings? Yes. My cousin?” Lilac allowed a look of disgust to be her answer. 

The crowd of people that moved around them on the sidewalk forced them closer together. Lilac's stomach fluttered but Ethan looked unfazed, peering down at her expectantly, waiting for her to go on. 

“It's my cousin Griselda's annual Christmas dinner at this ostentatious restaurant. Mostly because she can't cook for shit.” She explained this with a sarcastic flair. “But we're all supposed to forget about that when she shoves expensive meals under our noses.”

To her surprise, Ethan chuckled. “Sounds like fresh hell. Why even attend?” 

“Because it would be unspeakably rude not to show up? The family drama this would cause would be ten times worse.” Lilac glanced through the window of the dark restaurant, all tables lit by candle light. “So instead, us poor bastards who live in the East Coast are forced to hear all about how successful and beautiful she is.”

In moving her hands and arms when shit-talking her cousin, Ethan's coat began to slip off one of her shoulders. 

“You're a doctor, Rookie. And a damn good one at that.” 

Ethan's eyes fell to the curve of her exposed shoulder then back to her eyes. His gaze held such intensity that she was momentarily struck motionless. Very gently, gentler than she had ever seen him before, he reached over to adjust his coat around her, the sweep of his fingers against her skin leaving a trail of heat.

“And not to mention you're also quite beau—” 

“So you made it after all.” 

Griselda looked directly at Ethan as she emerged from the restaurant. There was no greeting, only bitter disappointment in her voice. Her cousin's dark, judgmental eyes swept the handsome doctor from head to toe, as though trying to find a flaw but finding none to her dismay.

“We all thought Lilita here was bluffing.”

Ethan stared at Griselda with brief surprise at being addressed so bluntly. His questioning gaze briefly moved to Lilac who grit her teeth in embarrassment, wishing for the ground to swallow her whole. 

The longest silence in Lilac's existence passed before he spoke again. 

“I arrived as fast as I could on such short notice.”

Lilac's head snapped to look at him, only belatedly remembering to hide her surprise.

“It's unspeakably rude to invite someone impromptu,” Ethan continued, matching Griselda's cool, haughty demeanor. 

Lilac could have kissed him with gratitude. 

“Yes, well.” For the first time in her life, Griselda Castillo had no retort. 

It was all too perfect. All Lilac had to do now was make up an excuse for Ethan to go and no one would be the wiser about her stupid lie. Not even Ethan himself. It was all going to work out—

“Forgive me, we were not aware Lilac was seeing someone. Easy mistake to make.” Griselda threw a faux saccharine smile Lilac's way. “When we heard about the famous boyfriend, however, we just had to meet you.”

Fuck you, Griselda. 

Lilac couldn't decide if she wanted to push her cousin onto moving traffic or if she wished to walk right into it herself. 

Beside her, Ethan remained very still. 

“He actually can't stay.” Lilac said, her voice hitching higher in barely controlled panic. “He has to finish some research for his next case study.” 

Griselda looked between Ethan and Lilac, clearly unconvinced. Her crimson lips slowly turned up into a devilish, triumphant smile that would have put the Grinch himself to shame. 

Ethan seemed to recover beside her because he cleared his throat. 

Then, he moved to stand closer to Lilac and to her utter, complete shock, he wrapped an arm around her waist with enviable grace. 

“My research can wait, love,” he said, leaning in to press a kiss to her temple. “If your family wants to meet your boyfriend then that's what they'll do.”

If someone had told him that morning that his day would end at the most pretentious restaurant in the city with Lilac Allende pressed close to his side, he would have recommended a brain CT scan. Yet, there he stood, being hastily introduced to people whose names he had no chance of remembering right away, not when Lilac's hand slid slightly down his chest, scorching him through the very fabric of his shirt. 

He glanced down at her and immediately realized what a mistake that had been. The glittering, sinful dress she wore was entirely too distracting on its own, but the charged way her green eyes studied his face... it made the energy between them crackle like an exposed wire.

“Everyone, this is Doctor Ethan Ramsey,” Lilac said to the curious and expectant table. “My…”

She trailed off, turning a bashful glance at Ethan. 

“Boyfriend,” Ethan finished without pause. He willfully ignored the thrill the juvenile word sent through him. 

As they took their seats, Ethan was still unsure what possessed him to pretend for her sake. All he saw was her cousin's mocking grin and Lilac's dejected, mortified frown and suddenly, he felt the urge to be anything she needed. 

“Pleasure, Doctor Ramsey,” Griselda said with as much enthusiasm as someone with a hernia. 

Ethan decided right then that if anything else, at least he would enjoy free food and alcohol, all paid for by Lilac's unpleasant cousin. When he looked over at his pretend girlfriend, pale dress glittering in the candle light and looking as radiant as ever, his blood buzzed with unbridled yearning.

“Ramsey?” the blonde man sitting next to Lilac's cousin asked with interest. “Why does that sound familiar? Where do I know you from?” 

“Ethan is a world famous doc—” 

“Wait,” a young woman with a mountain of curly hair and a kind face interrupted, enthusiastic. “He was in your Miami pictures, wasn't he?” 

Ethan blinked. 

Beside him, Lilac shook her head frantically at the young woman. 

“Natalia,” she hissed, but Natalia either missed this or ignored it. 

“You're so photogenic, Doctor,” she commented with a broad grin. “I messaged Lilita about it. The way she talked about you, it was so obvious she was into you.”

Ethan raised an intrigued eyebrow at the lovely, blushing doctor beside him. Lilac, however, studiously avoided his eyes, suddenly very interested in her wine. 

A young man sitting next to Natalia laughed. He shared many similarities with her, including the unruly curls. 

“I think we all called that one, Nat.”

“Has everyone tried the calamari?” Griselda interjected sharply. Ethan got the impression she didn't appreciate any conversation that was not solely about her. “It is divine.”

As Natalia rolled her eyes and challenged that proclamation, Ethan leaned in close to Lilac, the heady scent of her perfume sending his mind to less than honorable places. She had been leaning in too and they ended almost nose to nose. 

“You don't have to do this for much longer,” she whispered. “I can think of something so we can leave.”

Ethan ignored this and instead asked, “Miami pictures?” 

She blushed even deeper.

“Into me?” 

She was the color of her wine by now. 

Ethan had never seen this timid, demure side of her. Typically, the roles were reversed where he was the object of her teasing. As he watched her lovely blush spread down to her graceful neck, Ethan found he enjoyed this dynamic. 

It made him wish he could kiss her. Hard. 

“Tell her, Lilita,” the curly-haired young man called from his seat, making Griselda's eyes bulge out with indignation. “Aunt Margo's tamales are the only acceptable meal for Christmas.”

“Sebastian, you are making a scene,” Griselda muttered. 

“I'll let my mom know you miss her food, Sebas. She'll love you more than she already does,” Lilac laughed.

 The sound, accompanied with the fact that she looked so much more at ease, made Ethan's chest glow with contentment. 

Before he could stop himself, his hand moved atop hers under the table. Lilac stiffened in surprise but relaxed immediately after, keeping their hands locked. 

“I'm just not convinced tamales make for an elegant Christmas dinner,” Griselda was saying. 

“Bitch, you grew up in Guadalajara,” Natalia returned at once. “That's all you ate in the winter.”

The whole table laughed, much to Griselda's fury. The blonde man beside her rubbed her back soothingly to no avail. Instead, her sharp eyes zeroed in on Lilac like daggers and an air of conceit returned to her expression. 

“So how long have you two been together?” 

“A few months,” Ethan returned with ease. 

“Ooh,” Natalia commented. “The honeymoon stage! Where you can't keep your hands off the other and all you want to do is—” 

“Funny,” Griselda continued, eyes never leaving Lilac. “My cousin never really mentioned you.”

“She never really mentioned you either,” Ethan deflected. 

Sebastian almost choked on his drink. 

“How did you meet?”

Griselda's question came off as a challenge. 

“We work together.”

“Is that allowed?” 

“Yes.”

Below the table, Lilac gripped his hand. Ethan squeezed back, wishing more than anything that his lie was true. 

“Was it love at first sight?” Natalia asked with genuine interest.

“Have you seen her?” the blonde man joked before Ethan could consider the question or how much he despised the phrase "love at first sight." Something coiled in his stomach at the less than innocent smile the man was sending Lilac's neckline. 

His fist clenched at his side, itching to connect with the man's jaw in a swift undercut. 

“Keith,” Griselda chided, also looking thoroughly displeased. 

Keith did a poor job at looking abashed. This did not fly with Natalia, who Ethan liked more and more each minute, because she glared at Keith and scolded him in both English and Spanish. 

“You don't have to answer Nat's question if she asks again, by the way,” Lilac said as her cousins argued.

Ethan said nothing, careful to keep his expression neutral. 

If he were to answer the question, the answer would be a resounding no. His feelings for the beautiful young doctor before him did not arise from their first meeting. As a matter of fact, after the thoracotomy, Ethan had walked away thinking her arrogant and impertinent, just like any other fresh-faced intern eager to impress an attending. Except this intern had done so by flirting with him. 

 Instead, he thought of her hand atop his in the NICU as they watched over Dolores's baby fight for his life; of the comforting hand on his knee as he told her about Naveen; of every kind, warm smile she gifted him with when passing each other in the hallway. 

It had decidedly not been love at first sight. The clichéd expression would never be enough to capture the way his heart ached for her every time he laid eyes on her, each time with much more force. 

“No amount of free alcohol or expensive food should make you feel obligated to act that much,” Lilac laughed, oblivious. Sparkling green eyes met his, taking in his expression. “What?” 

Ethan swallowed. He was unable to decide if he wanted to tell her he was far from acting or if he wanted to pull her close and kiss her. 

“We're leaving,” Griselda announced in a harsh and dramatic whisper as a way to end the ongoing argument. She frantically collected her belongings and rose at once. 

When she realized no one at the table was saddened by the announcement, she marched out of the restaurant with Keith at her heels. As soon as she was gone, Natalia cackled. 

“Well, that was one of the better Grinch-elda dinners.”

Sebastian threw Ethan an appreciative smile. “It appears Doctor Ramsey is the only one who can tame her. She finally met her match.”

“That was her tame?” 

The cousins laughed. 

After a final round of drinks, Natalia and Sebastian announced that they too had to depart. When they were out the door, Lilac exhaled and relaxed for the first time all evening. 

“Thank—” 

But Ethan shook his head, interrupting. “Don't mention it, Rookie.”

Lilac gave him a single nod and when she couldn't stand the heat of their eyes on one another’s, she averted her gaze to readjust the front of her dress. 

Soon they would each be going their separate ways and this brief fantasy would really be over. 

With a pang, he realized he didn't want it to be. 

“Lilac?” 

“Hmm?” 

Her eyes met his and Ethan forgot all coherence, not that he knew what exactly he planned to say anyway. Rosy, plush lips commanded his attention and Ethan leaned in, determined to feel them against his again. 

Lilac moved too, until their breaths mingled together, the distance separating them as insignificant as the million reasons they deemed this a bad idea.

They were so close now, Ethan's hand moving to the dip of her waist. She whispered his name, a silent invitation, and the last remnants of restraint vanished. 

“Oh shit. Sorry—” 

Natalia halted at their table, slightly out of breath, nose and cheeks rosy from the cold. Lilac and Ethan sprang apart, which only made Natalia wince apologetically. 

“I'm so sorry to interrupt but I can't believe I forgot to tell you. We're all spending New Year's Eve in Griselda's cabin in Vermont. It’s going to be this but ten times worse so we need all the backup we can get.”

Lilac tensed visibly next to him. 

“You two should come.”

Author’s Note: If you made it this far, thank you! 

I decided Lilac’s family nickname is Lilita because Latin American families do that all the time. For example, my cousin’s name is Teresa and they call her Teresita (in diminutive form with the -ita/-ito). Which is hilarious to me because they make the names longer rather than shorter. They do that with own full name too, lol. I love it. 

Anyway: Hopefully, my inspiration doesn’t vanish for a part 2! 

Happy Holidays to everyone! 

Tags: @openheart12​ , @takeharryandgo​ , @trappedinfanfiction​, @aestheticartsx​, @aworldoffandoms​, @paulfwesley​, @myusualnerdyself​,  @rookie-ramsey​, @ohchoices​,  @enmchoices​, @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​, @choicesfanaf​, @openheartthot​, @octobereighth​, @nazarihoe​, @utterlyinevitable​, @kites-in-our-skies​, @maurine07​, @schnitzelbutterfingers​, @doilooklikeiknow​, @snesdudes​, @kingliam2019​, @perriewinklenerdie​, @cinnamonspongecake​, , @queencarb​, @ethxnrxmsey​, @missmiimiie​, @jens-diamondchoices​, @adamsdumortain​, @apphia12​, @kalogh​, @lucy-268​, @binny1985​, @queenbirbs​, @honeyandsunfl0wers​, @newcolonies​, @lilyvalentine​, @rigatonireid​, @interobanginyourmom​, @parkerattano​, @custaroonie​, @nikki-2406, @lilypills​, @chasingrobbie​, @nooruleman​,  @lonely-mxxnlight​, @ruinedbypixels​, @shadynaturehilariouscookie​, @tsrookie​, @mvalentine​, @professorkingslay​, @drakewalkerfantasy​, @casey-v​, @helloblueeyedcat​, @mysticaurathings​, @blossomanarchy​, @thegreentwin​, @togetherwearerapture​, @rookieoh​,  @rookiemarsswiftie​, @natashajaniphilchoices​, @mysticalgalaxysstuff​, @hatescapsicum​, @choices-lurker​, @kiara-36​, @junehiratas​, @danijimenezv​, @macy-ray85​, @adrex04​, @canigetanawwjunk​, @sanchita012​, @overwhelminglyaquarius​ , @scorpiochick8​, @skylarklyon​, @starrystarrytrouble​, @mercury84choices​, @drariellevalentine​, @ethanrcmsey​,  @aarisa-frost​,  @udishaman​, @a-crepusculo​, @quacksonlover​, @caroldxnvxrs​, @ramseyandrys​, @whatchique​​, @openheartfanfics​​@varikasnuori​, @dimitriwife​​, @genevievemd​​, @shanzay44​​, @fabi-en-ciel​​, @trebondialanna​​, @lady-calypso​​, @ashiiknees​​, @dr-ramseys-rookie​​, @stygianflood​​, @bellcat2010​​, @iemcpbchoices​​,  @emotionalswift2,  @lion-ess24,

[nincompoopydoo]

PAIRING, BAGELS, REPEAT

— HYMN OF THE LOVESICK ; PART 5 / ?

( gif from this beautiful gifset by @knightwayne )

PAIRING: Bruce Wayne x reader

WORD COUNT: 2k

SUMMARY: Alfred definitely knows something about Bruce that you’re not willing to think about and Bruce has an epiphany that changes the way he sees you.

A/N: Guess who forgot which day pbr is usually posted? This idiot here. God, I’m sorry and this chapter can be boring. Next chapter will have a lot more going on, I promise. Also, this might end in the next chapter or two. Enjoy, folks.

WARNINGS: Kinda dramatic because I’m dramatic.

MASTERLIST ; MASTERPOST

Driving through the Wayne estate gives you a sense of much-needed peace. The never-ending tunnel with walls of identical colossal pine trees as you faintly hum to Aretha Franklin over the low whirring of the running engine. It’s a quarter to noon, and the sun doesn’t seem to shine in the city of Gotham—clouds of grey constantly shield its optimum shine, only to ever allow rays to seep through the gaps in the moving Autumn wind. You don’t mind it and you never did, growing up in the city left clouds unnoticed to you unless it signified the arrival of a thunderstorm. Weather and nature are the least of your concerns but you would appreciate it now and then.

The tunnel of trees comes to an end as a clearing of extensive fields emerges into view. What is left of the Wayne Manor still stands with ostentation, despite its skeleton along with its dignity rotting away to be eventually consumed by mother nature herself. There’s a sense of eeriness to it; you find it odd how a building could seem so alive at times, like it's watching you, despite its apparent decay.

You turn your head away and focus on the road.

A glance at your hand on the wheel, you’re reminded of last night, when his hands held yours—it burns at the mere thought of his gentle touch. And the drive home, silent with the occasional glances and small smiles. You recall how the passing streetlights cascade hues of orange on his wearied expression and how his eyes were bright when they flit to your figure in the passenger seat for just a moment. Something must have changed between the two of you, but you can’t quite tell what. Maybe it’s your undying love for Bruce. Maybe he feels the same way. You snort to yourself, alone in your car, one can only dream but it doesn’t mean they all come true. Bruce may love but he doesn’t commit. You can’t commit too. Now, you’re starting to believe you’ve been lying to yourself.

The glasshouse comes into view as you steer around the bending road and into the driveway. It contradicts everything the manor was but only shared its sense of glory. You like the glasshouse, less deafening and structured with the purpose of bareness and vulnerability but its dark furnishings keep it grounded and secure. Its sense of balance tricks your mind into thinking you’re stable. His car is still around, parked by the porch but you don’t see him, ambling around the household.

Switching off the ignition, you snatch the paper bag from the passenger seat and clamber out of the car. Darker clouds begin rolling from afar, your hair flying in the strong wind. A storm is coming, you’re sure of it. One of the rare times it rains during the season. You dread the thought of having to drive back into the city and across Westward Bridge. Driving over bridges built over the water in the rain scares the heck out of you.

As you swing the car door to a close, you hear the shuffling of feet amongst leaves behind you. Alfred, with a barrel of chopped wood—stocking up for the winter. There’s a glimmer of amusement in his eyes albeit startled by your sudden presence. He mentions your name with endearment; you greet him with a small smile. You always liked Alfred. You enjoyed his company.

“What a pleasant surprise seeing you here,” he says, pushing the barrel aside as he nears you. “I’m afraid you just missed Bruce. He left for Metropolis an hour ago—duty calls.”

You nod, ignoring the clench in your heart. He hadn’t told you anything but frankly, you weren’t expecting him to anyway.

“Well, I just came by to drop off this,” You lift the paper bag, swaying it a little within your grasp. “As a thank you gift, you know.” Alfred smiles at this, gestures towards the house in a beckoning manner. “Come on in, I’ll make you some tea.” Before you could even protest, he’s gently guiding you to the door by the shoulder. It’s hard to say no to Alfred, especially when he offers tea.

-

Your mind wonders as you watch the drizzle of rain form ripples in the lake. You sit on a chair with a contemporary structure to it; it digs into your lower back, due to your bad posture. Uncomfortable but nice-looking and great armrests. Contradicts everything a chair should be. Alfred emerges from the kitchen with a black ceramic mug in hand, steam from the brewed tea lingering above it. He holds an identical mug, for himself. With two hands, you clasp onto the mug with acceptance, a radiant appreciative smile upon your lips. “Thank you, Mr. Pennyworth.” Alfred shoots you a look of disdain, “I’ve told you many times, Alfred is fine.” Taking a sip, you shake your head, a smile still lingering. “No way. I have too much respect for you to call you by your first name.” Alfred mirrors you, settling for the chair to your right, swiftly sliding the scatter of papers to the corner of the table. You find it easy to fall into a natural conversation with the older man—the two of you are mutuals after all of a certain billionaire. Yet, Alfred is more of a father figure, having practically raised Bruce and you, well, it’s complicated. It always is. You don’t know where you stand in his life, and you're not sure if you want to know.

“Anyway, where have you been? I haven’t seen you in weeks.” It’s true. The usual sight of the butler sauntering around the glasshouse or somewhere in the Wayne Estate was absent during the last two weeks. Alfred is always around, his disappearance was glaring, impossible to go unnoticed.

He shifts in his seat, placing his mug on the table, teaspoon moving with a soft clang. “I was visiting family back in England. I appreciate that you have noticed my absence,” An eyebrow raises, your laugh comes out more like a huff. “Always, Mr. Pennyworth.”

Family. Mother. Dinner—you remember the dinner with your mother on Sunday night, and you’re the host. The host hasn't decided on the menu for tomorrow’s meal. Oh God, it’s tomorrow. Procrastination is your friend but your family’s expectations for you aren't. If you pop enough wine bottles, maybe she'll be too drunk to be disappointed by the end of the night.

And the wedding. The mere thought makes you sick. You don’t want to bring a date, but you don’t want to be alone. Weddings, love, couples—it makes you tick. It’s a glaring reminder of how your love life is an absolute disaster and your inability to maintain relationships. It’s hopeless, you’ll die a spinster and everyone lives happily ever after.

“Are you alright?”

It’s funny how those three words have been the most frequent words you would hear from those around you. You appreciate the concern, really, but you can’t help but feel there’s a stronger and deeper meaning to those words. It’s a question of assurance, a reality check, and a realization that you might be broken. Everyone is broken—in their own ways.

Although you seem reserved to some people, your tendency to open up about your issues to those close to you contradicts that though you instantly regret it. Especially when people tell you to change. You hate change. It’s terrifying.

You pause, suddenly feeling...fidgety. Yet, in the words of Bruce: In Alfred, you trust.

Remember, keep it light. You don’t want to haul all this luggage of yours onto an aging man. He’s already got Bruce’s luggage.

“My cousin’s getting married in two weeks and,” you sigh, he listens intently. “And as pathetic as this sounds, I really don’t want to go to it alone.”

Your words are direct, straightforward and you sound like a whiny teenager or the main character in a Wattpad story but truth be told, there’s an underlying meaning to it and you know, Alfred knows it. You just don’t want to admit it.

He takes a beat, assessing your sentence like he’s a therapist, wanting to select his words carefully. “Well, I don’t think you’re pathetic. It’s...understandable,” he flashes you a pointed look and you find yourself straightening your back. “Why don’t you ask Bruce?”

Your brain must have short-circuited at that moment.

Oh, hell no. Not in a million years.

You’re shaking your head, laughing nervously. “No, no. No. Never. I couldn’t possibly ask him to do that. He’s already done so much for me—”

“You’ve done a lot for him too.”

A pause, words stuck in your throat. You just look at Alfred through confused eyes. You’re not sure what that means. He’s staring at you with a knowing look. You sigh, shaking your head in denial once more. “No, that’s...that’s not true.”

It’s almost infuriating how stubborn you can be sometimes that it’s even irritating yourself. You’re staring at your fingers, playing with the tag attached to the teabag by a thread. As far as you’re concerned, Bruce is...the greatest friend you’ve ever had. Through thick and thin, he’s been there for you. He’s always there. It’s partly the reason why you have fallen for him in the first place. Hard. He’s easy to love when he wears his heart on his sleeve. It’s rare but it’s beautiful. You almost feel ashamed to be allowed to see him in that light.

“Bruce will do just about anything for you,” Alfred says calmly as he watches you avoid eye contact. “And I know, you’ll do the same for him.” You throw your eyes at the older man as he cops you a look. Your heart is beating so fast, so thunderous, you hear it in your ears. He’s right and you know it. That accidental kiss to your forehead on the night you asked him to come for the play comes back to mind in a flash. It feels like a mark on your forehead, it feels like it’s burning.

“Would you like a scone with that?” He’s pointing to your tea and with that, he’s off to the kitchen once more, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

-

It’s late—a quarter to four in the morning. He spends most of his nights in the Batcave, hidden away from all the sounds and tumult of the world, shrouded in the darkness as the light of the computer screen cascades on his tired eyes. He ambles through the glasshouse, weary feet against hardwood floors, body begging to lay on grey sheets though he dreads a vacant bed.

He strains his eyes peering into the gloom when he perceives a paper bag, sitting idly on the table by the window. Nearing it, there’s a yellow post-it note stuck onto the bag and under the gentle light from the moon that reflects against the lake, he can make out words written on it.

It’s from you.

Thanks for coming to the play. I would have bought you something else, but I’m really broke. Sorry. I owe you one.

A drawn heart follows it. It’s tiny. His chest feels warm.

He should have recognized the paper bag because inside, there are four bagels. Four Asiago bagels. He laughs, it comes out more like a puff of hot air, feeling the warmth that resides in his chest spreading throughout his body.

Then, it hits him like a bullet to the heart. The impact is strong, powerful. Your impact on him is strong, powerful. There’s no mystery to his feelings for you but at this moment, he’s completely certain. For the first time in life.

He loves you.

Bruce staggers into the chair, hand carding back the strands of his hair. He can’t keep doing this to you. Whatever the hell is going on. Your friendship, the...stupid agreement. He wants none of it because it feels like he’s constantly going around in circles.

But what do you really want, Bruce?

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