#goddamn this bird has ASS

[blunderpuff]

i hate this fucking place

[sachermorte]

the way they sometimes introduce fish to lakes cracks me the fuck up because they literally will just drop a bunch of them out of an airplane

imagine that happening in the warrior cats universe. dudeheart, respected warrior of riverclan is trying to chill and enjoy the five minutes of peace he has today. his new apprentice is a dipshit. the deputy is on his ass. thunderclan is up to something weird. he just wants five minutes. five goddamned minutes to himself to sit and organize his thoughts.

and then a giant metal bird screams by and dumps a fuckton of fish into the lake

what do you even say after that. what do you even do. it never fucking ends for dudeheart. it's always fucking something

[livwritesstuff]

i went on a deep dive of the Steve & Hopper ao3 tag yesterday and and it got me thinking about what would happen if Chief of Police Hopper ran into Steve and Eddie while he was on patrol after pseudo-adopting Steve, and it’s been long enough that Hopper is sort of a safe-person for Steve so Steve goes into full-fledged bitch mode when Hopper tries to pull cop stuff on them, and Eddie (who knew about none of this because Steve is a chronic under-sharer) is so totally baffled.

He’d spent years watching Steve sweet-talk his way out of trouble. Even before they started hooking up it used to drive Eddie goddamn insane, because if (when) Eddie pulled any of this shit Steve gets away with, he’d be totally screwed, but all Steve has to do is flash a sheepish grin and run a hand through his hair once or twice and say, all baleful, “I really didn’t mean any trouble,” and he’s home free.

It has its perks though, or so he's learned during his last few months of hanging around with Steve, so when Steve and Eddie’s make-out session is interrupted by the tell-tale red and blue lights of a cop car pulling up behind where Steve parked the Beemer a few hundred yards down a maintenance road, Eddie’s not all that worried. In fact, he’s got a pretty good amount of faith in Steve’s ability to spin up some story to keep them out of any real trouble, and as Chief Hopper ambles over to them, Eddie prepares himself for a whole show of, “Yes Chief, sorry Chief, it won’t happen again Chief.”

So imagine Eddie's complete and utter surprise when Hopper barks, “Hey, morons! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” and Steve only rolls his eyes and says, “What’s it to you?”

Eddie feels his jaw drop.

“Steve,” he mutters through gritted teeth. He tries to elbow Steve into shutting the hell up, but he misses because Steve has already taken several steps forward to meet Hopper, his face turned up in a kind of defiance Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever seen on him before.

“What’s it to me?” Hopper repeats, glowering at Steve, “It’s midnight. I’m on patrol. You’ve got one of the most recognizable cars in this entire damn town parked in a restricted-access zone with this idiot–” Hopper gestures at Eddie (Eddie didn’t think the pointing or the idiot were necessary, but clearly, clearly, he’s missing something here), “–who’s been dragged into my station more times than I could count.”

“The town line, Hop, is over there,” Steve says, pointing at an indiscriminate spot over Hop’s shoulder that may or may not be part of the Hawkins town line, “We’re not even in Hawkins anymore. You’re totally out of your jurisdiction.”

“You wanna know something about jurisdiction, smart-ass?” Hopper asks, “If my report says shit happened in my jurisdiction, it happened in my jurisdiction.”

“Wow,” Steve deadpans, “Way to not sound totally corrupt. Nice work, Chief.”

Hopper’s jaw twitches for a second, and he’s clearly debating if he wants to keep arguing with Steve who, to Steve’s credit, looks like he’s got debate in him for days. Ultimately though, Hopper decides against it and stalks back over to his squad car.

“If you’re not home by one there’s gonna be hell to pay. You hear me, Harrington?” Hopper yells, “One AM. Hell to pay.”

“Oh, sure,” Steve rolls his eyes, “Totally hear you. One AM. Loud and clear or whatever.”

Steve flips the cruiser both birds as it peels away, which Hopper only flashes his high beams at a couple times before he’s gone, kicking up a bunch of dirt and mulch and leaves in his wake, and Steve is wearing an exasperated expression as he turns to face Eddie again.

“God, he’s so annoying. Let’s just go to my house.”

Eddie gapes at him.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Huh?”

“What the fuck was that?” Eddie repeated, gesturing wildly towards where Hopper’s car had just been.

“Wha– you mean with Hop?”

“Uh, yeah?!?”

Steve just brushed him off, “Whatever, just ignore him. He’s basically my dad.”

“What?”

[vampireonastick]

I’m sorry but Stolas emptying the entirety of his fridge onto the floor just to shove his lanky ass bird body inside of it because he’s nervous and freaking the fuck out has to be the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

This man is a PRINCE. this man is goddamn ROYALTY. He lives in the biggest fucking palace I’ve ever seen and the best place he can think to hide is inside his FRIDGE??? this is a thirty something year old father tucking himself away with last nights leftovers because he’s so stressed about his date with Blitz.

This is why he’s my favourite. Holy fuck what a lovable disaster man.

[munsster]

hell-bent

A/N: basically… give me beefy bucky or give me death (gif creds: @vader-anakin)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: All you want is attention from your boyfriend. Though, during a life/death mission may not be the best time to crave it. 2.6k words

Warnings: smut, man handling, dirty talk, degrading, knife play/kink, blood play!!!!!, uh very mild exhibitionism, pet names (babydoll, doll, princess, minx, baby)

"Babydoll, toss my knife over." A crouching Bucky fiddles with the steel door's padlock before catching your ankle in his left palm, wrapping cooly into your exposed skin.

"Can I have a kiss first?" you coo and bat your lashes to get his blood pumping, the susurration booming in his ears and rushing between his legs. 

He barks out a laugh, face scrunched as he falls back onto his tailbone, abandoning the Fort Knox knockoff before you kick your calf from his grip and shuffle away. His breath finally catches in his windpipe when you scoff, tugging his knife from your belt. Bird-like in your grace, you flit away with a tune tumbling from your lips in a hum. Footsteps thud hard and fast until his hands clasp your abdomen. With the tip of his nose pressed to your ear, his hips shoved up against your back, and in a mumble:

"Listen, the second we're done with this, I'll fuck you until you can't walk, but right now, I need the goddamn knife." His mouth trails to the crook of your jaw as his fingers curl into your taut leather neckline. A hot puff of air fans over your skin when you spin in his arms, spine sinuous and molding into his grasp. Then the edge of his own knife meets his bust, poking at the center of his vest as he frowns.

"And I need a kiss," you say, very matter-of-fact in your own silver-tongued way. The tip of the blade glides up and over his adam's apple until he's forced to tilt his head back, stubbly jaw exposed to your hungry eyes. A blushing pink line rises in the knife's wake, pricking at his skin with ease.

Bucky likes it that way. 'That way' meaning sharp. And 'it' being his knife and his girl.

"Doll?"

Lip tucked between your teeth, you savor the flutter of his lashes when he plucks at the hip of your catsuit, grinning wide like a predator. The spandex snaps against your skin with a biting pain. "Yes, James?"

"Give me the knife. Now." The gravel in his voice has you withdrawing the blade from his skin and pouting like you're innocent. Like his hard-on isn't already strained against your thigh. He meets your gaze then, pupils blown as he sighs. Out of relief or disappointment, he does not know.

"Give me a kiss. Now," you mimic.

"Fuckin— you know what? Fine." Vibranium clamps onto your jaw, tugging you close as his lips meet your own in a searing kiss. The burning cold of his fingertips brings a certain warmth to your cheeks, spreading, curling over your bones and flooding your senses. He groans into you as he licks at your mouth and draws your breath over his tongue. His hands roam your waist, and he lets out a muffled protest when you reach for his belt.

It's worse that he hasn't had a moment alone with you for a week. Libido going haywire at your touch, he revels in it, his low moan pouring down your throat. And his hands. God, his hands. They dip into your waist like cupped palms dip into the fountain of youth after years of wear and tear. His thumbs press hard against rib until you purr into him with the heat of several suns beating down on a forgotten beach.

Then, right fingers drag down your wrist, coiling around the handle of the knife and wiggling it from your loosened grasp. You pull back with a scowl, lips chafed under the wet pressure of his own, and he winks.

"Thank you, princess," he whispers against your temple with a smirk, clapping his palm onto your ass and chuckling when you squeal and back hand his bicep.

"Bastard."

…

"You. Out," Bucky barks, ducking into the stuffy tent and squeezing your hand as he glares at a pissed Sam.

"There's no way in hell you're hogging our only shelter for sex!" Sam snaps.

"Funny, 'cause that's exactly what I'm doing. Now, get out before I strip, and you get to watch me in all my naked glory fuck my gorgeous girlfriend." You drop your forehead to the center of his back, and your face goes hot. Sam shuffles past you, grumbling about ‘horny goddamn rabbits’.

"Little much, don't you think?" But Bucky's not really listening as he zips the hatch shut and pounces on you like a frenzied jaguar, lurching with the smooth coil of his stamina.

"Minx," he growls against the hot skin of your exposed clavicle, "'m gonna go into cardiac arrest with how excited you get me." He tugs the zipper of your suit further, marking the skin with wet kisses down your navel. You clutch the seam of the bedroll beneath you in your restless grip because his teeth pinch your delicate skin and the humid tent nearly drowns you.

"You bring out the knife fiend in me." Off his tongue like a moan, like he's holding back, and when he ruts into you, it's clear he is.

The super soldier's heartbeat pumps in your ears, and you gasp when it picks up, pressing your palm to his chest. He fumbles an eager hand for his thigh pocket, pupils blown at the sound of a steel click. Dopamine floods his senses, the fading light glaring across his switchblade that he finds reflects in your gaze nicely.

"Is this payback?" you whisper. His grin is nothing but cheshire then, scheming with a racing mind as he brings the needle-sharp point to the crest of your cheekbone.

"You know I would never hurt you, princess." He trips the blade low, down your throat to the valley of your breasts where he pauses in thought. His lips hover a breath over yours, and Bucky likes the way you go soft and doe-eyed and maleable in his embrace. "D'you trust me?"

"With my life."

A flash of arrogance crosses his expression, the glint in his eye shining through his god complex. The chill of the blade scrapes over the plump of your breast as he keeps his crystal eyes trained on you. You and your ragged breathing and your fingers curling into his bicep. He just has that effect on you. The corners of his lips rise wickedly at the idea.

"Dunno if I'd be so willing, babydoll," he grumbles, pressing the serrated edge to your sternum, the skin swelling on either side; it starts to sting. "But I guess that's the epitome of trust, isn't it?"

A hiss through your bared frown when the flesh breaks for crimson. He's quick to lap at the wound, driving the blade of his knife through the base of the tent and into the dirt beside your shoulder. His palm flattens against your rib cage as he jerks your zipper fully open and peels the suit from your torso.

"Now, that wasn't so bad," he says, feeling your lungs flood with air beneath his shaking hands. Your head lulls to the side, and if he didn't know better, he would think you were pissed. He thumbs over your fresh cut, hushing you when you squirm. "What happened to my poor girl?"

"Fuck you."

"Doll," he warns.

"I hate you."

"Take it back," he huffs, kneeling between your thighs with his fingertips tweaking your pebbled nipples. While concerned, he's been turned on since noon, no thanks to you. Desperate fingers go to rake your scalp as he leans down to pepper ever present kisses over your jaw. "C'mon, lemme kiss it better."

You look to him like he's the prime suspect in your own murder, and it shatters his poor heart to nothing but ash in his sunken chest. Anger feeds your fire until you flip him off with a smirk that makes his brain do a spine-twisting somersault. Without a second thought, your wrists are pinned to the ground, tight enough to fracture, and yet he still handles you like you're porcelain.

"If you don't ease up, I'll have no choice but to fuck the attitude right outta you. Hmm? Hard to complain when you're busy moaning for me." Sweat flecks down his temple, saliva pooling in his mouth when you blink up at him, jaw unhinged, fingers ticking. He's an animal in this light.

"It's like being a douchebag is second nature to you," you mumble, and you feel him snap with a shift of his weight. An inner gearshift from benign victim to the apex predator. Or maybe he was never benign, just lying in wait.

"Oh, you've earned it now, babydoll."

He strips you of your uniform with a yank, palming for your feverish skin as he licks at your bottom lip. Some volatile form of submission. Like he's teasing you out of your husk just to rip you to shreds. But God be damned if you wouldn't offer him the very weapon of your own demise.

His tac-gear clatters to the ground while he takes your fist to curl around his cock, coated slick with precum. He huffs out a breathy chuckle against your neck when you slowly stroke him. Then his hips buck into your grip as his teeth sink into your jugular.

"See what you do to me? Been hard as a fuckin' rock since the second I saw you. Couldn't help but remember how you taste. Let alone how you feel." And nothing satisfies a super soldier's cravings like the real thing.

He hoists your thigh up and over his hip, 'round his lower back. Like a belt. Like you're his consolation prize. You push the pad of your thumb across his frenulum, tearing something gargled and ragged from his throat. Something almost sentient as he tosses his head back in earnest. Yet all you can do it stare: his eyelids drifting shut, fingers strangling the sheets beneath you, his every muscle tensed like his life depends on it. Not a bad view. Not bad at all.

Then, your fingers tighten with the pulsing vein along his cock, and he has to slip from your hold to compose his sex drive. His eyes blink open to a zig-zag scene that he can't quite register until his eyes uncross.

"Christ, woman, give your poor lover a break. I'm still recovering from just lookin' at you," Bucky sighs. And he falls head over heels for the way you thumb over his dimpled chin and kiss him like an angel, soft and sweet and ethereal like no other.

The illusion shatters, however, when you bring your hips to meet his in one single thrust. Relentless woman with the face of a goddess. It brings him to his knees—or in this case, elbows.

You giggle at his pinched expression, wiggling your pelvis as his tip presses deeper into you cunt. Then it's payback when your back arches and your nails dig into his flanks, baring your neck to his gaze.

"Yeah, right there, princess," he mumbles, "I know you missed me inside this pretty pussy." And the cocky bastard is right. He feels it in the way you stretch to fit his girth, the supple elasticity of your cunt clenching in unfamiliarity. The subtle rotation of his hips is evil in principle but so damn perfect when everything is so warm, so wet, how can either of you resist.

You grasp for his shoulders when he hooks your ankles around his lower back. And oh, does he know how to work at this angle. His tip drives deeper just so he can drag back out again, slow in every roll of his hips. Any protest flies out the door in heavy breaths across skin and fingertips

The dark closes in around you, suffocating as it drenches your skin and renders you undiluted beauty in his arms. With every moan, he picks up speed just to hear you against his throat.

"Bucky." It bubbles from your throat as an ode to his warm body and restless mind. “Love you.”

"I gotcha, sweetheart. I love you, too." His muscles twist around you, and he's close with the stutter of his hips, digging deeper while his metal palm flattens against your tummy. Your fingers comb his hair from his eyes; you look like an angel, blissed out, half-lidded eyes, and he smiles down at you, still so focused despite his unraveling.

The tent's zipper hisses when Sam peeks in with an awfully disgruntled, "what the hell, cyborg? A warning?"

"I think you had enough of a warning," Bucky growls, continuing his thrusts when your head tilts to the side, an embarrassed squeal from your lips.

"Jesus Christ, I thought you'd be done, old man," Sam chuckles.

"Get the fuck out!"

"Fine, fine, just try not to break your girlfriend." A loud sigh from Sam before the zipper shuts with a metallic grinding noise that echoes in your ears as static.

"Sorry, pretty baby, 'pparently someone's common sense left 'im," Bucky whispers, pressing a kiss to the broken flesh of your sternum, lashes batting as a sufficient apology. A harsh thrust then, punching the air from his chest as every fiber in his body coils and snaps to the beat of your heart, filling you with wet heat. He rubs his middle finger over your clit with a vengeful smirk when your back curls with the weight of your release.

…

"D'you always go commando under these things?" he coos, tentative and quiet while the pads of his fingers trace feather-light patterns over your damp skin. Your snug uniform and the way it hugs you hasn't left his mind. Fact, it never really does.

"Yeah, I mean kevlar is surprisingly breathable, so what's the point."

"Noted." Bucky drapes his forearm across your navel, shifting onto his palm and grinning above you like the cat that got the cream: mischievous and pleased out of his mind. "I'm one lucky sonuvabitch, huh?"

"Yeah, you are," you tease, hooking your thighs around his hips as he settles into your body with a chuckle, chest erupting with delight taut against yours. He tucks the hair plastered across your forehead to your hairline with a knuckle, lips puckered against your temple in a kiss sweet enough to give you cavities.

Your hands dive into the sleeping bag, trailing the sweat-slicked sinew in his back, dipping with the tightly-wound muscle before sinking your fingertips into the plump of his ass with a cheeky smile. 

"Little minx." Bucky hangs his head with a grin, nipping for your cupid's bow then pecking lower at your baby-soft lips. Though he knows he went far enough with the tip of his blade, he would never admit it to you. The same way you would never admit that you liked the sting of it. But now that he's left a scar on your chest—an unspoken promise of his and hers, a permanent mark in your complexion—there's truly no turning back.

And he proves it with another kiss that renders you breathless, taking in his solace with wavering consciousness. The line between asleep and awake and Bucky's hands blurr to something more than reality. Though, the noise he makes against your mouth is nothing short of sinful.

From the opposite side of the tent, Sam grumbles, "mind shutting the fuck up? Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Sorry, Sammy!" you whisper.

"No, you're not."

marvel masterlist

[ironunderstands]

Ngl I despise stupid ass tweets like this

There is a time and a place for talking about sexualization, but like you cannot be serious.

It’s shorts. She’s wearing shorts. I know part of the reason why her thighs are exposed is because people like to look at thighs, but oh my god. For 5 seconds, 5 goddamn seconds can the people in this fandom not treat women’s bodies like they are some inherent sin? ITS SHORTS.

Based off this tweet you would assume she was dressed like THIS or something (although this one has SOME armor LMAOO)

But not just by hoyo standards, but by normal people standards, Feixiao is wearing a regular outfit, especially considering the climate she lives in is probably fairly warm, and she’s not a normal human being, so all that extra armor wouldn’t be doing much for her anyways.

Hell, this is a universe where shit like the antimatter legion exists, and I’m sorry, but a few pieces of metal really aren’t going to do much against the stuff that Feixiao might be facing, and considering how restricting armor can be, a pilot such as herself would prefer lighter clothing. Honestly if we want to have a discussion about practicality or realism, the flowy/longer parts of the outfit should be the ones under fire, but that’s not the complaints here.

And I get where this person is coming from.

I understand wanting to see an armored lady, especially considering her male counterpart seems to possess that, but this is not the way to approach it at all.

But calling it misogyny? AND SOFT PORN?? SHORTS??

SHORTS

Like do you hear yourself? You sound like a puritan right now? Honestly I’d prefer Feixiao having her thighs out over hearing someone talk about them like they only exist for gooners to gawk at.

Moreover, considering the absolute nightmare that was the copy-past female Luofu designs, I’d say that hers is a breath of fresh air

Also, if you supposedly can’t take a woman seriously because her legs are exposed.. get help dude. Please.

I don’t even think it’s ridiculous to believe that her design is sexualized, especially with the garter, but like, why like this?

Oh, and Jingyuan’s design is sexualized as well, it’s just not through exposed skin. He has a whole ass corset and thigh garter and he’s imposing and has a deep voice and glowy ass eyes and long hair and he stares at the camera in his splashart like That and you get where I am going with this because HES MEANT TO HE HOT TOO. He just has a different kind of appeal

For fucks sake his lightcone literally has him lounging in a chair legs spread eyeing a bird sleepily as the light hits him like that and his face looks like that wand you expect me to believe this game isn’t trying to present him as attractive? For fucks sake he practically has an adoptive son. This is the dilf older man fucker final boss and yet a woman with shorts is what sends you spiraling?

Don’t act like you didn’t see the TikTok comments of people wishing they were his bird when he got released. Or the master stroke jokes? Or everyone and their mothers (literally according to Cyyu) drooling over his EN voice? “I AM the reinforcements?”

If you want to talk about non-sexualized generals and pull up a picture of Jingyuan I will (and currently am) laugh in your face because to be honest more revealing clothing would make him less horny because the uniform is part of the appeal.

I rest my case

[sam24]

Man on a Mission

Summary: Apparently, someone called Bucky's girl a whore. He has now made it his life's mission to find out who.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

*****

Bucky sat at the kitchen island, eyes narrowed, leg bouncing, and the same scene from last night replaying in his head.

Bucky drew random patterns on your bare shoulder, his nose buried into your hair. You were being quieter than usual, but he knew you were awake as he could feel your hands fidgeting.

He didn’t want to press you to tell him about it, so he settled on making you feel as loved as possible, pressing kisses into your hair.

Suddenly, you broke the silence, taking Bucky by surprise.

“Buck . . . do you think I’m a whore?”

“Wha-” Bucky lifted his head immediately, trying to look at you. But you hid your face in your hands, turning away from him.

“God don’t look at me. Fuck, this is so embarrassing,” You groaned into your hands. “Forget I said that.”

“No, honey, look at me please,” Bucky gently pulled your hands down, cradling your face. “Who called you that?”

“No, no, no one,” You shook your head frantically. “I’m sorry, just forget I said anything. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“No, sweetheart, who- okay we’ll get back to that later. But you are not a whore, okay? No woman deserves to be called that in the first place. Who-”

“No, no one. I was just . . . I just randomly thought of it.”

Bucky wasn’t convinced, but he let it slide.

For now.

“Well, I don’t want you thinking these things about yourself.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Okay?”

You nodded, seeming relieved and a little surprised that he dropped it that easily.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

It was now the next morning, and you were at the gym with Natasha, which gave Bucky the perfect opportunity to figure out who to murder.

Steve walked into the kitchen with Sam trailing behind.

“Morning Buck.” Steve greeted. His head stuck into the fridge, trying to look past the shit ton amount of edible cookie dough you had made a couple days earlier.

“How come you didn’t come run with us, you lazy fat ass.” Sam teased, leaning on the island.

“Didn’t feel like it.” Bucky narrowed his eyes.

Suspect 1: Sam Wilson, The Most Annoying Bird Alive

Sam had a tendency to poke fun at people, but some might not take it as well as others. For example, when a barista burst out in tears last week when Sam joked about her being “all over the place” with all the orders coming in. (He came in with flowers the next day)

Bucky wondered if Sam had said something that was supposed to be funny, but you didn’t think it was and got upset.

A part of Bucky wanted to settle on Sam so he had an excuse to beat him up, but the more rational side of him realized that you had gone on one too many missions with him to think he was being serious about anything he said.

Tony then came in, holding a bunch of empty coffee mugs in his hand, practically throwing them into the sink.

“Bruce said my mugs were ‘taking up too much room’ in the lab,” Tony rolled his eyes. “Well why doesn’t he try being the goddamn genius backbone of this team.”

Bucky stared at him intently.

Suspect 2: Tony Stark, The Dick Who Can’t Set His Metal Rock Music Lower Than 98

Tony had a tendency to snap easily, especially when he was low on sleep (which was basically all the time). Everyone usually steered clear of Tony when he was moody, because he would most definitely say the meanest things, but not really mean any of it.

Bucky tried to think if it was logical that Tony would snap at you and say something. However, he came to the conclusion that even if Tony had said something, you had known him for too long to take his sleep-deprived words to heart.

“What are you looking at, Winter Schnitzel?” Tony challenged, noticing Bucky staring at him.

“Nothing.” Bucky replied, his stare shifting over to his best friend, who was grinning in amusement, but still trying to find something to eat that wouldn’t give him diabetes.

Suspect 3: Steve Rog-

Bucky stopped himself, almost laughing at himself for thinking Steve would ever call a woman a whore.

Even though you always kept the fridge full of random items you would make, Steve would never say a single bad thing about you.

For now, Bucky was stuck.

⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃

6 hours later, and Bucky was still stuck.

You and Peter were out (God knows where), which was another perfect chance for Bucky to think.

But the problem was he couldn’t think of anyone.

Everyone in the compound adored you, so Bucky couldn’t figure out who the hell would deliberately say something to make you upset.

He dragged his shoes across the floor, cursing Steve in his head for making him go on a “stroll” because he apparently looked “pent-up”.

There was no way in hell Bucky would walk around outside, so he opted to take a walk inside, using Mother Steve’s demand to his advantage to scout out potential targets.

He halfheartedly glanced around the floor, stopping when his gaze landed on you.

He immediately grinned, not caring about the fact he probably looked crazy, and started his way over to where you were.

You were talking to someone with a bag in your hand. Bucky remembered you saying something about picking up a dress from the store for your friend. Peter was next to you, and for some reason, puffing his chest out?

But, as Bucky got closer, he realized you were talking to Jacob, the little dickwad who couldn’t take no for an answer,

“How many times do I have to tell you? Get out of my way. I’m trying to get this to someone.” Bucky heard you snap, tuning in with his enhanced hearing.

Bucky stopped, trying to assess the situation and figure out if you would appreciate him stepping in or not.

He knew you didn’t need anyone to stand up for you, but his overprotective side rippled through his body, his jaw clenching and fists balling.

“Baby, stop acting- “Jacob was cut off with a sharp slap.

The little bastard was taken by complete shock.

Meanwhile, Peter was still trying to look as intimidating as possible.

“Jacob, what the hell is your problem? I’ve told you to leave me alone more times than I can count. How fucking thick is your skull?”

Jacob was about to reply, with probably something bitchy, but he caught sight of Bucky in the corner with the most murderous glare and stopped himself.

He instead looked down and stepped to the side, giving you and Peter room to go.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Beat it.” Peter growled in the most non-threatening way possible as you two left, giving Bucky the perfect chance to slide in before Jacob could hightail out of there.

“Barnes.” Jacob greeted, clearing his throat.

“Callaway.” Bucky’s blood boiled at how differently he treated other men than how he treated women. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you to respect a lady?”

Before Jacob could reply, his equally dumb friend, Brody, walked past the two men.

“Damn, Jake. Barnes finally here to beat you up for calling his girl a whore?”

Bucky and Jacob both stared at Brody.

Jacob looked sickly pale, and Bucky looked calmly terrifying. Clear sign he was fucking enraged.

“Oh shit-” Brody finally put the pieces together, practically sprinting away.

Bucky turned back to face a petrified looking Jacob.

“So,” Bucky reached out, fixing Jacob’s tie and smoothing down his collar. “It was you, huh?”

Jacob tensed under Bucky’s touch.

“Chill pal, I just wanna talk.”

⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃⭃

A bruised cheek, wet underwear, and hurt ego later, Jacob’s talk with Bucky was over.

Bucky threw his feet up on the ottoman, but not before telling Friday to make sure Jacob was apologizing to you, as instructed by Bucky himself.

He patiently waited for you on the couch, a wide grin appearing on his face as you walked in and cuddled up next to Bucky, but not without pressing a kiss to his lips first.

Halfway through the movie, you turned to look at Bucky.

“Thank you,” You smiled.

“For what, doll?”

You turned back to face the movie, a smile playing at your lips. “C’mon. I know that was you. He would never apologize on his own will.”

Bucky laughed, turning you around once again to pepper kisses all over your face.

“I love you, my little smartass.”

“I love you too, pops.”

Mission accomplished.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Here, have a casual glimpse into my thought patterns and creative process:

*just scrolling about Tumblr and vibing to "Too Much Wine" by The Fratellis*

Too much wine?

Mihawk?

Mihawk drunk??

Wait wait wait WAIT what are they all like drunk?

GASP s h i n y h e a d c a n o n s

BLANK DOCUMENT HERE I FCKEN COME—

So anyway here's some headcanons about drinking too much (insert adult beverage of choice) with the OPLA boyos.

Implied that Reader is already in a relationship with each character in question.

I shall call it.......

HAMMERED

OPLA!Zoro, Sanji, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy X AFAB!Reader

NSFW Headcanons

Kinda Kinktober I guess? Borderline shitpost, I had way too much fun with this.

♫♬♫ Too Much Wine - The Fratellis ♫♬♫

I'll take the mead from the table

Talk straight while I'm able

Until I'm nothin' less than a crime

Zoro

"Y'know, I actually have four swords, but we're gonna have to go somewhere more private if you wanna see the other one."

Rum, sake, beer, wine, whatever you're down for drinking so is he.

Zoro's got incredibly high endurance and stamina—it's going to take a while for him to show that it's affecting him at all, but once it does, he goes from zero to one hundred faster than you can say "onigiri."

Literally no in between, no tipsy or buzzed. Just sober and then stumbling over his own feet and swearing he absolutely is not drunk the whole time.

All those repressed emotions that he hides behind a mask of dry sarcasm on a day to day basis are coming out in full effect.

That means you're getting one of two Zoros—goofy Zoro or sad Zoro.

Goofy Zoro's going to have his arm around your shoulders, laughing his ass off about that time he caught that idiot Marine brat swinging his sword around bare-ass naked so he chopped off half his hair.

He's likely to get pretty flirty in this state, even downright playful, especially if you initiate it, and it's almost definitely going to end in him dragging you somewhere private to fuck your brains out, because his restraint is totally out the window at this point.

If you end up with sad Zoro, he'll be laying his head in your lap and slurringly asking whether or not you think he's ever really going to be the best swordsman in the world, probably still beating himself up over losing to Mihawk.

Just comb your fingers through his hair and do your best to reassure him that you love him and genuinely believe in him. Whether it works or not, he's going ti end up falling asleep in your lap, so be prepared to be stuck there for a while.

"But like...you really think, like, I can beat that bird-eyed bastard? I mean he fucked me up with a goddamn butterknife."

Sanji

"There we are—a beautiful drink for a beautiful woman."

Turbo Flirt Mode: activated.

Sanji is all for pairing wine with food, but if you're looking to get a little sideways, he's going to want to show off his mixology skills to impress you—and he's going to be making some dangerous concoctions, the kind that taste like there's not a drop of booze in them.

The more lit he gets, the less subtle the flirting. If you thought he was clingy sober, you are in for a surprise, because that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Head on your shoulder, puppy dog eyes, telling you how pretty you are and how much he adores you every thirty seconds, with a big silly grin like you're the most amazing thing he's ever seen.

Brushing his lips along your neck and murmuring all the things he's going to do to you once the two of you are behind closed doors later—and he means every one of them, because you're utterly irresistible to him in this state.

He wants you giggling and blushing just as much as he wants you moaning and trembling under his touch.

Super playful once you are alone, even moreso than usual. He's definitely going to suggest doing body shots, he will beg if he has to, but honestly who in their right mind is going to turn him down?

"You're just...just so—so beautiful—honestly, it should be illegal."

Shanks

"Hold—hold my rum—no, no, just for a moment, I wanna see if I can do a backflip off the railing—"

Spoiler alert: he can't. Now he's lying on the quarterdeck alternating between hysterical laughter and "Oh God that hurt—"

Probably the most fun drunk in the world, but he can be a hazard to his own health as his judgement begins to lapse so someone's going to have to keep an eye on him.

If you're at a tavern or otherwise public location, do not under any circumstances let the man out of your sight for more than two seconds. He turns into a straight-up child, he can and will wander off, and you'll find him a mile away on top of a building, likely half-naked and singing sea shanties at the top of his lungs, with no clue as to how he got up there...or how to get back down.

He's developed quite a high tolerance over the years and tends mostly toward dark rum, though he won't turn down a stein of ale or beer.

Total life of the party energy—telling jokes and stories, he just wants to see everyone laughing and having the absolute best time.

Super, super flirty, he may as well have written the book on pick-up lines; and he doesn't care that you're already together, he's going to drop every single one of them on you just to see how much he can make you giggle or roll your eyes.

He's very likely to pull you onto his lap at some point and make out with you like no one's watching—he already doesn't really care who sees when you're both sober, but he really doesn't care after a little too much rum, so it's probably best to coax him to bed at this point.

He's perfectly happy with cuddling up, laying his head on your chest and draping his arm over you, just humming in contentment and falling asleep together...but if you want more, don't expect to get much sleep, because he wants you lasciviously.

To taste every inch of you, to suffocate between your thighs until you're screaming, to pull you onto his cock and watch you ride him until you're both too breathless and exhausted to do anything but tangle yourselves together in the sheets and drift off to sleep between slow, sensual kisses.

"Oh, princess, just when I catch my breath, you make me lose it all over again."

Mihawk

"If you insist on being such a brat about this, you're going to get what's coming to you."

Mihawk has a strong drive to be in total control of himself and everything happening around him at all times, which means he doesn't tend toward getting drunk.

But...he also has this wee little problem with his ego being larger than the entire volume of every combined ocean in the world. If you imply that you could drink him under the table...he's probably going to sneer and tell you to quit being a brat, but he's also going to be quite driven to prove you wrong.

He does love his wine, but it's generally only a glass or two to wind down and relax—he's definitely got a nice bottle of aged bourbon or eau de vie tucked away somewhere that's going to be coming out, because he's got something to prove now.

Unfortunately for him, due to the fact that he so rarely drinks heavily...he's a bit of a lightweight. Which he won't admit even to himself.

But it barely takes a single lowball of harder liquor to get that pale complexion of his a little flushed.

Perhaps just over three for him to start blinking a bit harder than normal in a futile attempt to get his vision to focus, to start speaking a bit slower to attempt to hide the slight slur in his words as you taunt him about it—which honestly only makes it more pronounced, and more amusing.

You had best enjoy it, because it's probably the only time you're going to hear the words, "Fine, you win," come out of his mouth—as well as perhaps the only time he won't be miffed about conceding. The alcohol in his system has him loosened up just enough that he can't pretend he doesn't find your boldness and sass at least a bit endearing...and even more alluring.

That being said, you're still getting punished for it, teased within an inch of your sanity, and he's going to enjoy every single second of it.

Setting his glass aside, plucking yours from your hand, pinning your hands above your head with a devilish smirk and slowly undressing you, his eyes on yours the entire time.

Trailing his fingertips across your bare skin, drawing closer and closer but never quite giving you want you want, his lips barely brushing against your neck, reminding you in an amused murmur in your ear that he could easily do this all night.

You did have the audacity to challenge him, after all—he has no choice but to remind you who's in charge.

"What is it, my little bird? Did you think you were going to get a consolation prize? You're still going to have to beg."

Buggy

"Bet you two thousand Berries I can shotgun two beers at once, watch this—"

And he basically ends up halfway drowning himself, but hey, you're two thousand Berries richer!

Honestly, there's no party like a Buggy party, because a Buggy party doesn't stop until someone loses a limb—probably him.

No, really. Don't let him use his devil fruit abilities. Keep a bucket of sea water on hand if you have to, because he may literally misplace one of his limbs and you're going to have to go on a Chop Chop Scavenger Hunt to help him find it while you're both completely smashed.

If Buggy's drinking, everybody's drinking, and everybody is getting completely fucked up. This is non-negotiable, he thrives on chaos and that's what he's intent on creating.

Anybody who passes out before him is getting something obscene drawn on their face in permanent ink. He can definitely hold his liquor, so if you can keep up with him then you can expect to be the last two living souls left conscious on the whole ship.

That being said, he doesn't care who's awake—things are going to get kinky, and he's really not bothered about anybody watching. Or joining in, for that matter. This whole operation very well may devolve into a drunken orgy if he has any say in the matter.

Then again, it may also devolve into him flopping dramatically across your lap and divulging absolutely all of his trauma in an emotionally-charged alcohol-induced rant. He won't remember it in the morning, so please do him a favor and don't remind him.

"Hey, uhh...I los—I lost my foot again. .....Sor—*hiccup* sorry."

[lacrimosathedark]

Bat-Family Nicknames and Insults

So I went off the other day because fans keep having people who aren't Roy Harper call Jason Todd "Jaybird" and now I'm thinking about all the other nickname misconceptions so here's a probably non-comprehensive list of nicknames among the Bat Fam.

(Special thanks to @sohotthateveryonedied for a bunch of my data, she made a whole powerpoint with actual comic panels! Go check that out! Also got some info from @kiragecko who was writing some lists with more specific references.)

This list is an active document and will be edited in the event I find more nicknames or have more to say

Addendum note: I'm more than willing to add something I forgot, but you must have receipts. I'm not just going off of memory. Nothing will be added to this list without proof. If you don't have a source, please don't make a suggestion.

This is aside from assorted common insults and nicknames like jerk, ass, shorty, dude, idiot, etc.. Sidenote, every not-Steph Robin has been called “Little Bird”, “Birdboy” and/or “Wonder Boy” at some point. It’s kinda part of the job lol Secondary side-note, the only ones who REALLY use nicknames for people are Barbara and Jason. And Tim specifically in reference to Damian. Everyone else pretty much uses their names 98% of the time. Final note (sorryyyyyy) generally unless they're funny to me, I'm not including things used only once unless I have gotten vibes that it's a trend. This is an attempt to compile recurring nicknames. So ones noted to be used once are either I can only confirm it happened once but could happen multiple times, or I think it's hilarious.

Alfred Pennyworth

Al/Alf Seems to be a common nickname among the boys.

Alfie Dick, Tim, and Jason have all called him this.

Alfredo Jason called him this at least once and I think that’s funny. Not sure it’s exclusive though.

Mom Dick seems to have referred to him as such once…I’m sorry but that’s so funny.

Alfred also has specific ways of referring to everyone: Bruce: Master Bruce, Mister Wayne, Lad, Bruce, My Son Barbara: Mistress Barbara, Miss Barbara, Miss Gordon, Miss Oracle Dick: Master Dick, Master Richard, Master Grayson, Dear Boy, Young Sir, Young Man, Richard, Dick Cassandra: Miss Cassandra, Young Cassandra, My Dear Jason: Master Jason, Young Sir, Lad, Jason Tim: Master Tim, Master Timothy, Young Master Tim, Lad, Young Sir, Young Man, Timothy, Tim Damian: Master Damian, Young Master Damian, Young Sir, Young Man, Son, Damian

Bruce Wayne

Spooky Oliver Queen calls him this, others might as well but I legitimately have no idea.

Batsy Everyone and their goddamn dog, but Joker uses this notably a lot.

Detective RA'S AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. I think? But this is how Ra's generally refers to Bruce.

B-Man HARLEY QUINN EXCLUSIVE...I think. She calls him this a lot though.

While Dick and Jason will internally think of Bruce as their father, Dick rarely says so and extremely rarely calls him “Dad”. Jason would only say so mockingly or under pain of a second death. Tim rarely even thinks of Bruce as his father (he didn’t become Robin to be Bruce’s kid, and he doesn’t want to replace his own father—much the same way Dana didn’t replace Janet) and never refers to him as such outside of WE work (where he very much uses that to his advantage). Damian almost exclusively refers to Bruce as “Father” but has called him "Dad". Steph sometimes calls him “Boss”. Everyone usually calls him "Bruce".

He refers to ALL of the boys as “chum” and “lad” at some point. It’s just how he used to talk honestly. He DOES NOT call them “sweetie” or “honey” or anything like that. He DOES, however, speak to small children this way. There are multiple instances of him using "sweetheart" and similar terms when dealing with young children. This differentiation I think is for two reasons. One, Bruce is emotionally stunted and being open with anyone outside of actively comforting is difficult for him, and two, the youngest child he has ever had himself was 9 years old so he's never had a small child he'd be likely more inclined to be extra super soft with.

Barbara Gordon

Babs Most people call her this. Bruce doesn’t seem to though, oddly enough.

Babsy/Babsie Both Dick and Jim Gordon have called her this. Very cute.

Barb/Barbie Nearly exclusive to Jason Todd, actually. I think her dad calls her this once in a while, but specifically Jason calls her this.

Babes A few of her friends call her this, but mostly Luke Fox when they were dating.

Red A few people call her this, but mostly Jason and not real often. Probably cuz we already have a red-head often referred to as “Red” (Pam Isely by Harley) and as to not be confused with the other two Reds in the family (Red Hood and Red Robin).

The High Priestess of Tech More of a reference than a nickname, but I think it’s funny. Dick referred to her as such.

O For Oracle!

Dick Grayson Exclusives because Boyfriend Baby Love Beautiful

Richard Grayson

Dick Everyone calls him this. Almost no one calls him Richard.

Dickie His parents also called him this, along with other people who knew him from Haly’s Circus, but otherwise it’s mostly just Jason.

Dickster I…hate that this is canon lmao. Dick has thought this one in his inner monologue, but Jason has also said it at least once. It’s…Something.

Circus Boy Common insult, Jason uses it a few times.

Tight Ass No comment.

Rob Kinda rare for him and more a Tim thing, but his Titans team call him this sometimes. I specifically remember Wally doing so, and Roy too I think.

Boy Wonderful Not marking this as exclusive because Babs probably used it at one point but, shockingly (or not) this comes from Wally West! Wally has also called his Titans team as a group “Dear Hearts” at least once which is just so fucking cute. Neeeeeerd.

Kid Not exclusive to him, but consistently called this by Slade Wilson/Deathstroke over most anything else.

Marcia TIM DRAKE EXCLUSIVE. A joke between him and Tim, assigning each Bat-boy a Brady Bunch member.

Little Robin MARY GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. This is where the hero name Robin came from; Dick’s mom used to call him this.

Dickie-Bird JASON TODD EXCLUSIVE. Jason calls Dick this a lot during his weird appearances in Nightwing that I pretend never happened because it was weird and dumb. But it is a canonical nickname. And it’s funny.

Amy Rohrbach Exclusives because Partner Rookie Stud Cowboy Sherlock Mr. Confident

Barbara Gordon Exclusives because Girlfriend (and because she’s funny) Flatterer Boyfriend The Brightest, Sweetest, Most Handsome, Wealthiest Young Bachelor on the Entire East Coast Buckaroo Bucko Candy-Gram Darling Lover Love Hunk Wonder Man Wonder Hound Wonder Former Teen Wonder Twenty Something Wonder Blue Wonder Poor Lovable Naïve Dope Pixie Boots

Cassandra Cain

Cass Pretty much everyone calls her this.

Cassie Some people call her this, specifically the people closest to her; Stephanie, Tim, Barbara, Bruce, and Duke. It’s generally used sparingly, especially considering Tim is close to ANOTHER Cassandra who goes by “Cassie” almost exclusively, so Cass is generally preferred to avoid confusion. But Cassie is tossed around.

Batghoul Possibly Stephanie Brown exclusive, though easy enough that I wouldn’t be surprised if others called her that. She is notoriously spooky.

Bat-Babe KON-EL/CONNER KENT EXCLUSIVE. These two are actually good friends and dated for a short time. They’re very cute. And they met at the time Kon was just…Like That.

Jason Todd

Jay Literally everyone calls him this sometimes. It’s a common nickname.

Jace/Jase Also pretty common, but seems to mostly be among family. Dick and Bruce have at least both called him this.

The Toddster Was called such by Danny Chase, implying they were friends somehow? (Jason didn't have many Titans missions so idk how they were close enough for him to call him that). He calls him that when he discovers Jason’s status in the system is “unknown”, leading him to find out he’s dead.

Rojo Referred to himself as this once while he was still a crime boss, so presumably some of his gang called him this too. Obviously Spanish for red because Red Hood.

Little Bird Possibly exclusive to Barbara Gordon, she called him this in a flashback.

Jan That Dick and Tim Brady Bunch joke. Just imagine one of them looking Jason dead in the eye and saying “Sure, Jan.”

Little Wing DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. Called Robin Jason this in Nightwing Year 1 and it’s very cute.

Jaybird ROY HARPER EXCLUSIVE. The reason I’m making this post because no one seems to remember that Roy and only Roy has ever called Jason this. But any time these two appear together, it’s usually said at least once.

Stephanie Brown

Steph Pretty much everyone calls her this at one point.

Stephie A few people if I recall, but I know Tim’s called her that.

Blondie Pretty sure a few people call her this, but notably Harper Row.

Damian Wayne Exclusives because He Was A Brat Wench Fatgirl Girl Blunder

Timothy Drake

Tim Everyone to the point where it’s just his name.

Timmy A lot of people call him this pretty teasingly. Dick, Jason, and Babs do it consistently, but that’s older siblings for ya. Bernard has done it too.

Timbo Dick and Jason as well as his friend Ives have called Tim this at the very least. Tim notably doesn't seem to like it, though he has used it himself in a derogatory way in his inner monologue.

Timbers I’ve only ever seen Jason call him this, but I could be missing things. Would not be surprised if Dick did too, but it’s very Jason.

Rob Most of Young Justice called him that up until he revealed his name (which took a while because Bruce was being controlling and overprotective, as he does). Short for “Robin”, obviously, which is all they knew him as.

My Robin I’m pretty sure each member of Young Justice has said this about Tim, though Conner does it the most and has the biggest negative reaction to literally anyone but Tim being Robin.

Cindy DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. It’s that Brady Bunch joke again!

Little Brother DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. I didn't originally include it because it had the same vibes as like "dude" or "jerk"; something that's easily tossed around, y'know? And it feels like a descriptor, but it is actually used as a title/nickname several times, especially when Dick is messing with Tim.

Pretender JASON TODD EXCLUSIVE. Though it should be noted, he only directly called him this one time. Aside from that, he more refers to Tim as A pretender, not as like a nickname or title. It’s a description. (like “replacement” was but fandom made that a nickname yes I am in fact bitter)

Duckboy HARLEY QUINN EXCLUSIVE. She says this once, but it’s hilarious so I’m keeping it.

Detective RA’S AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. Ra’s is very particular about titles. The only other person he refers to as “Detective” is Bruce, and Dick one time in his internal monologue, so he is acknowledging Tim’s competence. And then proceeds to get a large portion of his resources obliterated by Tim <3

Stephanie Brown Exclusives because Girlfriend Sweetie Muffin Boy Virgin

Duke Thomas

Narrows Almost Jason exclusively, though I think Harper has called him this once or twice. In reference to the neighborhood he grew up in, as opposed to Jason and Harper's Park Row aka Crime Alley upbringing.

Newbie Jason calls him this frequently, though it's likely the others have too.

Baby Bird ELAINE THOMAS EXCLUSIVE. Yeah, surprisingly Duke is actually called this by his mom.

Damian Wayne

Gremlin Mostly exclusive to Tim, but Jason has called him this too. This also seems to be Tim’s go-to for Damian when not using his name or codename.

Dami Used by Jon Kent and Talia al Ghul, so presumably those closest to him.

Little D I think Barbara Gordon exclusive but I’m not sure.

Cousin Oliver Not said to his face to my knowledge, but the Brady Bunch in-joke between Dick and Tim.

Prince/Your Highness (other royal variations) A common way to mock Damian for his haughty air and stuck-up attitude. More common in the past because Damian was The Worst and never shut up about being the heir to Batman and the Demon's Head. He's grown a lot since then and this kind of joke is used less. He is still pretty snooty though.

D JON KENT EXCLUSIVE. I have yet to see anyone else call him this at least, and this is how Jon almost always refers to him.

Baby Bird TALIA AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. I’ve seen her call him this once, and I don’t recall ever seeing anyone else call him this. Just wanted it known that Talia is the only one to call Damian this.

Tim Drake Exclusives because Tim is Petty and Damian was a Brat Little Monster Hobbit Homunculus Little snot Spoiled, vicious and homicidal little punk Heir to the Kingdom of the Damned

Note on how Damian refers to others: Damian usually uses full first names or surnames, depending on circumstance and closeness. He occasionally calls Dick “Dick” or “Richard”, but often calls him “Grayson”. He almost always refers to Tim as “Drake”, but occasionally as “Timothy”.

Fanon names that I dislike

Replacement Jason never once calls Tim this, and refers to Tim as A replacement about as much as Dick did about Jason (Yes Dick has at least once when talking to Bruce referred to Jason as his replacement). How common it is in this fandom to call Tim "Replacement" (with a capital R like it's a name or title!!!) drives me absolutely insane. It's not canon and tbh you can do better. Hell, "pretender" is right there! And Jason's a nerd, he would do better.

Baby Bird Like…it’s cute, but given it’s used in fanon almost exclusively for Tim, and POST DAMIAN, it just feels infantalizing. Especially when the only canon uses are mothers towards their kids. I see this a lot with Dick and Jason using it, which is...just no. Like, Dick, I get it, but he's more likely to call Tim "Little Brother". Jason would never allow himself to be seen as this soft to Tim. If he were trying to be gentle with him, he'd probably call him "kid". He's done that before.

Baby Bat(s) I have seen this used literally twice. Once where a goon mockingly called Tim that, and once in an AU where Harley said it to Damian. "Baby Bat" isn't a thing. Sorry.

Big Bird More amusing than anything but a little annoying. No one ever calls Dick that in canon and whenever I read it all I can think of is Sesame Street so unless a giant yellow muppet bird is what you're going for, maybe don't do that lol

Demon Brat/Demon Spawn Not the most egregious thing, especially considering the numerous nicknames Tim comes up with, but the consistency of its usage in fanon is a little frustrating. This is never used in-canon, and if you want to use it in your fanworks, just maybe intersperse it with other more creative nicknames, yeah? It's just unoriginal at this point.

Jaylad I don’t hate this one, but it’s such a huge misconception that it’s canon. Bruce has said “Jay, lad” a couple times because he calls like every boy he meets “lad” and people made up “Jaylad”. Not the worst thing ever, but it's not canon.

Golden Boy I don't actually have a problem with this one, but I may as well clear up that this is canon as a descriptor but not as a nickname for Dick. Like calling Jason "the dead Robin". Like, people have said that about him in-canon, but they haven't called him that. The common derivative "Goldie" is entirely fanon.

Non-canon nicknames I think are funny

Dick-face/Dickhead I’m sorry, I find it hilarious whenever someone (usually Jason) in fanfic calls him this. It’s also to me just a silly exaggeration of the obvious joke that has been made at least once (but probably several times by now) in canon about someone being about to call Nightwing a dick and someone else reminding them not to use names in the field. I think it’s hilarious.

Timberly I can’t tell you why this specific deviation of Tim is funny to me but it is. And I'm surprised I haven't seen Jason call Tim this in canon.

[thementalshawty]

PAC Who Is Your FS? Pt.1

Hey I am back with another PAC but I’m going to do something a little different this time. I will be doing 6 piles but they will be in a 2 parter because I want the energy of the 6 to be separated. So at the end of the day you can read this one and get the gist and the sec on part is confirmation or even extra information, the others can and will find their answers in one of the piles in either part one or two. This is a general reading so with that you know the deal, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. So Picc an Emoji and let’s begin now.

Disclaimer: Tarot is not final but is a mere suggestion, don’t you depend on the opinion or suggestions of anyone to make your own decisions and judgement calls.

P1: 🍩

P2: 🍉

P3: 🥘

🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩

FS 1:

Animal that represents your FS: Crow Spirit. I feel like your FS off top is taboo, well for some of you here I’m hearing witches and warlocks as spouses in this pile, or maybe some of you are? Something about counting crows idk if they do that but I know that they definitely associate with crows in some way? They Cocreate with their spirit guides whether it’s aware to them or not. I told you some of them are witches and warlocks or are very powerful manifesters. They’re hella creative and they may have a Loud yell or call. They may have bird like features some of them. Something in them is Sharp? Like a sharp nose or a sharp stare??? Numbers: 1,7,8 & 17 may have some importance

Auset describing Your FS: Hapi Water Spirit. Numbers 1,3,4 and 13 could be of importance. I feel for some of you, your FS are water signs, mainly Scorpio and Pisces. They’re the type of person that needs to work energetically and with thought before making any moves. They’re definitely a planner and I’m hearing analyzer. This person wants nooooooo fuck ups! NONE HONEY!!! Baboons may have something to do with them too?? They need to visualize the moves for themselves before they do it. I’m telling you this is my alchemical pile right here, very very magical spouses, maybe you guys delve in magic too or should try it. If not you definitely them!

Describing Your FS (Oracle): Here & Now. Numbers 3,2,5 & 32 could have some significance. Some of your spouses are 32, I heard that not all but for some. They are not one to worry about the future or worry about the past, I heard they gotta plan for that already, they are just worried about executing the plan for today. They’re a very live in the moment and present kind of people. I see that they’re the type of person to get caught up sometimes and forget that though, cos being the planner that they are they do have worries about the future I feel in the past they weren’t as prepared and that shit caused them so much struggle and so from that day they wanna be prepared. This is a person who has plan b-Z if A doesn’t work. They are always present though, even when they worry about the future or the past they manage to always bring themselves back to the present cos they don’t wanna miss a thing. (Ha now I’m hearing that song by Aerosmith).

Your FS (Tarot): 9oPentacles, 6oSwords,Justice. You already know numbers 9,6,11,& 2 may have some importance to them. I feel that your FS are very accomplished, I feel it’s fairly new, they just acquired their success and blessings, they worked their goddamn asses for it! They aren’t a lazy person, they hate procrastinating but I feel they may do it sometimes which is why I feel they worked their asses off to get where and what they needed and it’s finally starting to pay off for them, matter of fact every single one of these cards sort of represent that, instead of telling me who they are it’s almost telling me what they’re going through, or what they’ve been going through and I think it’s because it’s a transformative time for them, they will be ascending and a lot of things that could describe them may be falling off so maybe your guides don’t want to fully share their personality because they’re experiencing their own experiences that’s showing them who they really are. I feel like they may like birds, crows, hawks Ravens etc. spiritually and materially they have just been blessed and they are enjoying every minute of it! They’re not missing a single second for the world! They have gone through way too much shit for them to not be anything other than present for this. They are FINALLY coming out of a dark place in their lives, they were in some drama mama! Some straight up chaos and that shit was so unhealthy it began to shut them down I’m hearing for some the others sort of just reacted angrily and it was so toxic they became spiritually and physically sick. I feel that they got some help to come in, and they were helped out by someone who moved them away from their toxic environment. I feel your FS are like that and I feel it’s cos they are compassionate, they know and understand struggle and they hate to see it. They could be a Libra due to the justice card of have Libra placements. They are the mediators of their group, I don’t see them having many friends, a selective few maybe some acquaintances that they laugh and joke around with but other than that nobody really close to them, I’m getting Lone Wolf and ranger type of vibes from this pile. They are someone who’s going to stand up for what they feel is true and fair and equal! They cherish and crave mutuality, if it’s imbalanced they not a fan. They honor equality and respect for all! They see everyone the same they don’t do favoritism and hatred towards anyone. They suffered. Some of your FS are Black, White, Some Asian/Korean/ Hispanic even too. I feel especially if you’re looking for women those ethnic backgrounds apply. Your FS has an ugly side tho, when unfairness or anything they feel is wrong or unjust comes out they are unmerciful. They can be ruthless if needed. Long hair for some, curly fros for others, black and brown hair colors I’m seeing. Gentleman and gentlewomen. Very soft but sharp features. True knights. Diplomatic and tactful, Hella charming. Playboys and women, they know how to bag a person! They’re very good looking, handsome, stunning, I’m even seeing gorgeous to some of you. It’s a very classy kind of beauty. Innocent and beautiful. They are quick to help out anyone they feel needs them and they’re not the type to swoop in and save the day assuming that needs to happen, they will always approach and ask “you need some help?” “Can I help you?” Perfect customer service representative honestly. They’re very sweet and kindhearted. Great smiles. They may be gardeners some of them, they like organic shit, they may not eat meat, or anything that has chemicals and toxic ingredients in food. They are very sensitive about what they put into their bodies. Smokers for some? (Weed not cigarettes or anything else). This person is a catch, a true victorious winner and they will treat you amazingly. Earth and Air placements especially Libra and Taurus! This person is Venus personified! Congrats! They’re hella seductive! I’m trying to find something bad on them honestly but it’s not working. They just fuccin rocc! Acts of Service is their love language.

I feel that. Congrats p1 you deserve it.

🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

FS II

Animal that represents your FS: Bee Spirit. So I’m seeing that 7 could have some significance, as well as the colors Yellow and Black, which leads me to think that some of your FS are mixed races. They’re very hardworking and some of them are the queen bees lol. They have been striving towards something and sweet results are about to roll in for them. I feel like they’re very goal oriented, tunnel vision. This is my workaholic pile I feel, they are workhorses some of them, others are spoiled by others. They have stingers but only use them if they absolutely must. They work like a well oiled machine, no rest. They are around the clock nonstop movers and shakers and they’re about to be rewarded if they aren’t already.

Auset Describing Your FS: Set. Numbers 3,7, 10, 1 & 37 could have some importance to your FS. Set is the god of chaos and war, dirt and sandstorms. I feel your FS have dealt with a lot of challenges and they have some negative traits that you will not like, I’m getting Aries vibes from this. The color red is coming to my head, something about rage. They may have anger issues, they are a jealous person. Some of your FS are bitter from all the challenges they went through, life gave them shit and they kind of internalized it and became dreadful, survival mode on lock, they are so paranoid, they may have or had beef with a sibling. They could have jealous family members. Some of them could have just been dealing with some shit. They can be the youngest sibling or the issue is with the younger sibling. People are intimidated by them. Their demeanor is don’t fucc with me and people heed that shit. They could be 37 some of them, or 10 years older or younger than some of you? They’ve seen some ugly shit in their lives in love, family, career etc. I’m seeing drug addiction for either them or someone they loved and they dealt with that shit. This person is strong but it tainted them in the process I feel.

Describing Your FS (Oracle): Treasure Island. The number 9 could be of some importance to your FS. I feel like they’re the type to see the beauty in things others may not. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, they may have that mindset. They’re beginning to see the results of their own actions, they’ve been moving slow towards this goal that they’re about to receive. This person is a treasure and you’ll definitely see them that way! Great at manifesting, they’re right now working with the law of attraction. They just received a financial windfall from out of nowhere to them. They’re very abundant right now or they’re definitely about to be.

Your FS (Tarot): The Empress, 3oSwordsRx, & The HermitRx. I see that the number 3, 9, & 7 are frequent in this reading so I feel like those numbers in particular are very important to your FS. They can be a Virgo or a Pisces. They’re very intelligent and intuitive. Your FS is beautiful you’ll be blown away by their beauty. Especially if it’s a woman too! They can have braids or locs some of them. They’re very sweet and loving, nurturing and parental. They could have kids. They may love moon bathing some of them, or they should. They are of the world; hella creative and open to whatever the universe/god is bringing them. They are always coming up with new ideas and projects they are the type of people to have plenty of hobbies, a jack of all trades. They are very blended in their energies, and elements. I feel whatever they went through shaped them and helped them become whole but I just think that they can’t see it. They are the type to not know the magnitude of how much they rule!! They may shit on themselves heavily! They are the type to be there for everyone except themselves. They put themselves on the backburner. They are so amazing but they are the type to wallow in their pain and own ignorance. They don’t want to face what happened to them or they don’t want to take accountability for their part in it, so maybe they had an outburst but they will always come up with excuses for it. They are jaded over this pain, I feel it makes so much impact with how they live, move and make decisions. They are so strong but they are so blinded by this pain or by this anger, they really see nothing but that. It overpowers everything that they are and do. They need to do some shadow work. They procrastinate when it comes to it, they may avoid those feelings because they don’t want to relive that hurt but what they don’t realize is that they’re replaying this pain on a loop subliminally in their minds so they’re technically always reliving that pain! That’s why they’re so jaded, it’s like getting sick of a song but you’re leaving it on replay. They need to get out of their head. They’re in isolation, this person I feel has little to absolutely no friends. They were in some kind of abusive relationship. I don’t really wanna get into that. If they don’t have kids, they’re very fertile!! They barely go out, a homebody and I feel to a scary point and I don’t wanna get deeper into that cos it’s reminding me of myself and what I am having to break out of and baby that shit is no joke and putting that business on here without knowing them personally is just fucked up so I won’t. They have been through some shit but they are beautiful person, their heart is being pulled in so many directions and it’s so hard for them to catch a break and they are dealing with it in a toxic way for them and they need to face their demons. I feel they just need someone to talk too, but I have a feeling this person is locked tighter than a bank vault after a robbery. They aren’t into letting anyone see them, not even themselves, Ugh my heart goes out to them. Words of affirmation I feel is their love language. Fear avoidant attachment style, they’re Virgo like, the highs and lows of the sign honestly, I feel like some are Pisces and some are Virgos. Very feminine energy. They want love but they’re afraid of rejection and getting hurt cos that’s all they know, so they’re afraid to dream bigger and want better for themselves.

🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘🥘

FS III

Animal that represents your FS: Pig Spirit🐽: The numbers 4,7,11,2,& 47 may have some importance. This is the kind of person who is quick on their feet, they give me air energy. They’re very intelligent. They’re not a messy person even tho they have messy moments. They’re fun loving and just want to enjoy themselves while they���re still on this earth. Happy go lucky type of people. They believe that pigs can fly, they dream big but they’re not delusional they understand the concept between reality and fantasy but they have a great imagination and they have big goals and aspirations for themselves. They wanna own the moon one day. They wanna fly the highest they can possibly get. They live on cloud 9!

Auset Describing your FS: Anubis. 3. He’s one of my guides!!!! I love Anubis he’s amazing! Your FS is such a great person! They’re very wise and give amazing advice. They take care of everyone, no favoritism with them, they treat everyone fairly, they judge by action, they feel like your hearts intention is based on how you move. You can protect on them to guide you whenever you need it, anyone who needs help, they are the one to call. So reliable and trustworthy, they may have a lot of people depend on them. Helping them transition from one state to the next. They can even be a therapist some of them, or the dr Phil/oprah of their group. They stand up for what they believe in and who they believe in. They’re a great protector. You will feel so safe, they feel like everyone should feel that way, “has the RIGHT to feel safe.” I heard that. Guard dog lover, they aren’t jealous but they won’t let just anyone get near you. They could’ve been abandoned by their parents (maternal esp if you’re looking for guy). They believe in healing of the soul by living out their passions. They believe that freedom to be yourselves is the best medicine. They want to get to know people for who they are at a soul core level. I feel they have GREAT FRIENDS. Certain LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 energy here, they created their own family! They love caring for others, they feel it’s part of their purpose, some nurses and doctors here. Therapist just doctors or medicators of some kind.

Describing your FS (oracle): A Leg Up. 3,4,7, & 34 could have some significance to your FS. They can be 34 some of them. I feel like they are the type of person to definitely lift others up, they aren’t selfish or greedy about shit, they will share their plate, cos they’re confident in their position. They themselves have received leg ups in life from people and they’re just passing on that energy. They’re not a jealous person at all they’re about progression. Sagittarius energy HEAVY! Sag and Aqua energy HEAVY! They’re very free loving. They’re very authoritative and they know how to delegate, they know how to both give and receive help. They’re not hyper independent they believe in teamwork! I love your FS! They’re my favorite! Shhhhhh don’t tell!

Describing your FS (Tarot): PageoSwords, 6oWands,& Judgement. They’re hella inquisitive and always asking about everything, they love to learn, very Gemini energy. They love to gossip with their friends, I also think that they’re the topic of gossip. Reading is everything to them. You’ll always catch their face in a book. Great conversationalist. Young at heart. Playful. They know how to multitask and juggle many things at a time. Their mind is always racing and they can’t turn it off. They’re a student of the world! They want to learn everything. The type who’s learning how to speak different languages. 6,2,& 20 may have some importance to them, some of your FS in this pile is 20. Some of you????? If that’s the case this is confirmation that you chose the right pile! I am seeing that your FS for some 2-3 maybe are celebrities like well known celebrities! No K-pop I don’t sense that here but I’m seeing some notoriety and some household names being here. The rest your FS is known in their field. Wildly successful and part of that has to do with their success story, how they came up and what they went through their hustle to mask it out of the “hood” or bad circumstances so to speak, they have brown hair, long, wavy, curly and straight, it varies I’m seeing. They are hella influential and inspirational to a lot of people, they’re extremely popular. An important person I’m hearing VIP. The it boy/girl. Everyone wants them, everyone wants to be them. They’re not cocky though, they’re all smiles and laughs, very joyous, I’m hearing for the celebrities, once you meet them and get to know them a little you’ll understand why they got fame. They’re so fun to be around. Fun and bubbly personality. They have loud voice. They’re very in demand. They know how to control a room. How to perform. They’re hella entertaining and I think they’re funny cos I’m feeling the urge to laugh and giggle. They may laugh a lot or giggle. You will find that cute. They’re not all about themselves, I see confidence but I also see that they’re a bit insecure too. They dress nice. They dress and look expensive. This is my glam and glitzy but humble pile. They’re such a fuccin joy. And they’re themselves regardless of what’s happening or who’s around. They are the essence of them and that shit is untouchable. They feel like people should see who they are, to love them and experience them to a full extent. They do enjoy the spotlight on them but I’m hearing they deserve it. They’re so litty. They remind me of me! I’m still feeling giggly and giddy, I feel this is how people feel around them (especially them celebs.). They are accepting too, they don’t judge, they’ve faced a lot of backlash and judgement from being who they are so this is the smack in their faces to your FS, their whole image can be about fuck society and their standards etc. I’m getting rocker energy from this pile so some of them can be famous rockers? I was getting the older numbers like 47, so some of you may have a FS in their 40’s, so what??? You’re all over 18 & you will know this person is your person, I feel this connection between you guys is that of a spiritual one. You can feel their spirit, it’s strong! Their presence is very powerful! This person is electric and everyone loves them! Nothing bad to say about this pile! Not really!

Alrighty my dearies! That’s it for part one of who’s your FS! Thank you for taking this ride with me and stay tuned for good ole part two coming soon!

Hope you have clarity!

Now Spread Love and Light!

EeeP Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 👋🏽

Heka 🕊️🏆

[briefinquiries]

Luke Alvez x Reader: Concussed

Request: do you think you could do some type of situation with luke where he has to clean a cut on your forehead or something? like that cute awkward moment 😭 (i hope this makes sense)

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: blood mention

A/N: Plsssss I miss him sm, enjoy!!

Every single day, you fought actual, literal bad guys for a living. The worst of the worst– the kind local police needed help handling. You drew your weapon more than you could keep track of and chased unsubs down the street at least once a month. 

And yet, it was the bird feeder that did you in. 

To be fair– you figured technically, it was the ladder that you were standing on in a feeble attempt to hang the bird feeder that was the real culprit. But as you sat in the grass with a bruised ass and ego, you figured the details weren’t really that important. 

Once the initial shock from the whole ordeal wore off, you slowly started to stand up– emphasis on the slowly. Because it became inherently clear as soon as you tried to move that you’d been hit in the head harder than you initially thought. 

“Fuck,” you hissed as soon as your fingers grazed the sensitive spot on your forehead. When you pulled your hand away, you were horrified to see the thick, crimson liquid coating your fingers. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” you winced, bracing your hands on your knees while you stood the rest of the way up. 

“You try to do something nice… like feed the fucking birds, and look what happens,” you muttered to the universe. “You fall on your ass and get concussed by a goddamn bird feeder.”

A concussion would definitely help explain the absurd amount of talking you were doing to absolutely nobody. 

With what little dignity you had left (which was practically zero) you picked up the smashed bird feeder from the ground and trudged across the lawn towards the open garage door. After setting it down near the overflowing trash bin, you dragged your feet the rest of the way inside. 

You made it about two feet before you heard a knock coming from the front door.

Frowning, you wondered who the hell would be knocking at your door at 11 o’clock on a Sunday morning. Your curiosity made you forget all about your almost-certain concussion, as you slid across the kitchen towards where the knocking continued. Because you weren’t a total idiot (bird feeder to the forehead aside) you peaked through the curtains cautiously, hoping to catch a glimpse of your visitor. Everything inside of you loosened the moment you laid eyes on Luke– the newest member of your team and your neighbor only four houses down (which you’d learned from a brief conversation with him only days ago). 

He was dressed in a plain, gray T-shirt and a pair of athletic shorts, his muscular calves on full display. You watched for only a moment longer, trying to control the butterflies suddenly flying rampant through your stomach. Luke had only been a part of the team for a couple weeks, but you were already learning that he had this sort of effect on you. Something about his smile– or the way he laughed, or the way he told the funniest jokes, and always knew what to say when someone was having a tough day– or the way he so obviously cared about the people you helped and was always so empathetic… Come to think about it, you adored just about everything about Luke. 

Before he could catch you gawking over him through the window like an absolute lunatic, you snapped the blinds closed and made your way to the front door. As soon as you swung it open, you were faced with arguably the most handsome man you’d ever met. 

“Luke, hi!” you greeted happily.

But his face went from excited to horrified to angry in the blink of an eye.

“Y/N, what the hell?

His beautiful, warm eyes went dark as they swept over the length of you. And that was the moment you remembered what you currently looked like–

With all the excitement of seeing Luke, you had totally forgotten that you’d fallen off a ladder and mauled by a bird feeder only moments ago. 

His shock quickly turned to anger as he took a step forward, so that he was standing right in front of you. “Who did this?” he asked, his tone solid and protective. His hand hovered near your jaw but didn’t quite touch you. 

“What?” you shook your head, and winced as soon as you did. “No–”

“Y/N, who did this to you?” 

“No one–” you said quickly. “I mean– I did. Not on purpose–” you clarified. “I fell.”

“You fell?” he asked in disbelief, his tone softening just the slightest bit. 

You nodded. “I was trying to hang the bird feeder, but the ladder slipped on the leaves on the lawn. It was stupid–”

“Jesus,” Luke winced as his fingers ghosted along the edge of your jaw. You couldn’t help the sudden, sharp inhale through your lips the second that you felt his touch graze your skin. “I could’ve helped you with that, you know. Why didn’t you ask–”

“Because I didn’t think bird suet would be the death of me today,” you admitted feebly. You hoped the dirt and blood from your fall was at least hiding the blush creeping up your neck and cheeks.

A soft chuckle escaped Luke’s lips, but the look of concern remained. 

“That’s a pretty nasty cut,” he said. “Let me help you clean it up.”

“Oh that’s okay,” you waved him away. “You don’t have to do that–”

“Did you even notice that you had blood all over your collar?” he asked, nodding slightly. 

You look down quickly and groan as soon as you see that your beige pullover was stained in a dark shade of crimson. 

“I think you’re probably a little concussed,” he added. “At least let me make sure you’re not dealing with anything worse. I used to help the medic sometimes in the field. Plus– I brought homemade muffins.” 

Your eyes widened at the sight of the plastic container being raised in Luke’s other hand. “You brought baked goods?”

“Muffins– yes.”

A wave of emotions washed over you. You didn’t have the best dating history– there was the guy who kept you a secret from his entire family (wife that you had no idea about included), then there was the guy who would cancel all your dates to spend time playing video games with his friends. And how could you forget about the guy who would conveniently “forget” his wallet every time you went out. 

And now here you were– standing in front of a man you’d known for only a couple of weeks and he was bringing you homemade muffins. 

“I–” you stammered. “I don’t– I can’t–”

“Woah,” Luke said, taking another step forward. “Maybe you should sit down. I think you’re more concussed than we thought.”

You shook your head. “I’m not concussed. Or… I probably am. But I mean, I’m just shocked–” you admitted. “No one’s ever done something like this before.”

“You said pumpkin muffins reminded you of home– and then you said later that day that you were feeling homesick. So–” his voice trailed off. You thought you might have detected a hint of embarrassment in his tone. 

Your eyes widened even more. 

“This is making me sound way creepier than I am–” Luke stammered. “I just… I was baking anyway, and I had a can of pumpkin just lying around... I didn’t go out of my way or anything in a weird way…”

“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” you said, meaning it. “Seriously, Luke. Thank you. I don’t… I don’t know how to repay you.”

“How about letting me help clean that cut up?” he asked, throwing you a cheeky grin. 

The corner of your mouth curled into a smile. “Fine,” you agreed, finally stepping back to let him inside. After closing the door, you turned to find him setting the plastic container down on the counter. 

“Where’s your first aid kit?” he asked. 

“Uh, under the sink in the bathroom,” you said, still convinced you hadn’t processed any of this yet. 

“And the bathroom is…” his voice trailed off. 

“Oh–” Luke looked so damn natural standing in your kitchen, you forgot he’d never actually been here before. “Down the hall, last door on the left.”

“Got it. Be right back.” With that, Luke was taking his uncharacteristically long strides down your hall before disappearing in the bathroom. 

For the first time since answering the door, you raised your hand and touched your temple. Wet liquid still coated your forehead, despite how much time had passed since the accident. Maybe it was a good thing you were agreeing to let Luke help. 

He was back in an instant, holding a damp washcloth and the small first aid kit you’d ordered online months ago, but hoping to never use. 

“In here,” he nodded towards the kitchen. “The lighting’s better.”

You nodded, realizing he really didn’t have to explain. You and your concussed brain would follow him just about anywhere. Your eyes really widened when he patted the counter, indicating that he wanted you to sit on it. 

You didn’t even question his logic though. Instead, you swiftly slipped onto the lip of the granite counter and waited aimlessly while Luke fished around your first aid kit for what he needed. You were level with him now, your gaze trailing down the length of his thick, muscular body. You studied the lines and curves of his skin better. You noticed every crease– every laugh line, every freckle. God, was he always this beautiful? 

Out of nowhere a smirk spread across his lips. “You’re staring.”

Blinking harshly, you tilted your head towards the ceiling, the bright light hitting your eyes and making you wince. “Fuck,” you grunted, dropping your head and squeezing your eyes shut. 

“Shit, you okay?” he asked carefully, dropping the kit to cup your cheek carefully. You felt the pressure on your neck ease as you allowed yourself to lean into his touch. 

Carefully you opened your eyes and nodded. “Yeah– just the light.”

“You’re definitely concussed,” he stated, eyes traveling from yours to the cut on your forehead. “Did you hurt anything else besides your forehead?”

“Is the gash not enough?” you asked dryly, missing the feeling of his touch the moment he moved his hand. 

Luke chuckled. “Oh, the gash is plenty. Just checking, though. Here–” you felt his touch against your face again. This time, his fingers grazed along your chin, tipping it slightly. “Can you lift just a bit for me?”

You nodded and moved your head in the direction he gestured. “'Atta girl,” he said, your stomach churning at his praise. You felt him press the washcloth to your temple gently, swiping up dried blood. As he neared the actual wound, you found yourself tensing up. But when you gripped the sleeve of his T-shirt, Luke didn’t even mention it. Instead he traced his thumb up and down your jaw soothingly and whispered reassurances. “I’m sorry, I know, I know–”

“It’s okay,” you said through gritted teeth. “It’s my own stupid fault. Too bad you didn’t show up just a few minutes earlier, you might have actually gotten to see the show.”

“So remind me again how this happened– you fell off a ladder?”

“Well, sort of,” you explained. “I was trying to hang my bird feeder– on the tall branch. But the ladder slipped on the leaves, which I’ve been meaning to rake for weeks now… and when I fell the bird feeder sort of fell too… on my head.”

You dared to steal a glance towards Luke. The second you did, you noticed him biting back a smile. 

“You can laugh,” you said defeatedly. “It’s completely ridiculous. A little stupid, too.”

“It’s not stupid,” he said, composing himself. 

“We took down a six foot unsub last week,” you reminded him. “Yet the bird feeder is what does me in.”

“Well… when you put it that way,” Luke smirked. 

“If anyone at work asks, you have to lie for me,” you pleaded. “Tell them it was something heroic.”

“I’ll tell them you saved a baby bird from a tree. Instead of letting it fall to its death, you broke the fall with your forehead.”

“That makes me sound so noble,” you laughed. 

“Get ready,” Luke warned as he dabbed some alcohol on a gauze pad. 

“Shit,” you muttered, trying to brace yourself, not even thinking as you moved to grip his bicep. 

“Squeeze as hard as you need,” he said softly. “Ready?” 

You weren’t. But you nodded anyway. 

The stinging sensation ripped through you, causing an onslaught of swear words to escape your lips. You gripped Luke’s arm desperately, your fingers digging into his skin. If you weren’t completely consumed by pain, you would’ve noticed how strong his muscles felt beneath your touch. 

“Almost done,” he murmured, dabbing a few more spots before finally setting down the gauze. “There. Breathe.”

You nodded, your eyes still snapped shut as you attempted to inhale and exhale.

“Good job,” he soothed. When you opened your eyes, your breath hitched when you noticed how close Luke’s face was to yours. 

His jaw tensed, shadows dancing across his face, and you immediately wished you could lean forward and just kiss that look of concern right off from his lips. Your eyes lingered on them for a beat too long– because you heard Luke clear his throat and tilt his head back. 

Embarrassed, you looked down at your hands folded in your lap. 

“Last step,” he said quietly, pulling a large bandaid and some antibiotic cream from the first aid kit. 

You nodded, shaking yourself out of the desire before holding your head up to give him better access to your cut. Carefully, Luke placed the cream and bandage over your cut. “There,” he murmured softly. 

His hand shifted on its own accord, fingers moving to brush loose strands of hair that had fallen into your face, before traveling down the length of your jaw, chin and neck. 

God, he really was beautiful. 

Luke smirked. “Thanks.”

“What?” you whispered. 

“I think you’re beautiful, too.”

Oh, shit. Had you really said that out loud? And was that the concussion speaking or just this intense, surreal intoxication you felt for Luke?

Involuntarily, you sucked in a breath, and then you did something you knew you wouldn’t have been brave enough to do unless you really were concussed– you leaned forward and pressed your mouth against Luke’s without a second thought. It was a soft brush at first, testing to see if he wanted to pull away. When he didn't, you slid forward on the counter and wound your arms around his neck. 

Luke’s other hand, the one that wasn’t cupping your face like he was afraid you’d break, landed on your hip. His fingers dug into your side as he pulled you closer to him. Your body fit against his like it was made for kissing him. 

Your hands found their way to the nape of his neck, where you twisted your fingers amongst his curls. He moaned in approval, and you smiled into the kiss–  into him, and it was nearly devastating when he pulled away and didn't smile back. 

And then Luke was sinking his teeth into his bottom lip and taking a step back. “You’re concussed,” he said. “I’m sorry, this can’t happen– you’re… not in the right state of mind.”

Embarrassed, you slid off from the counter and wiped your mouth with your sleeve. “I’m sorry–” you stammered. “I didn’t realize you didn’t want to–”

Before you could slip past Luke– to run or hide or whatever the hell you could think to do– he shook his head and gently placed his hand on your hip, guiding you until your back collided with the counter. “I want to,” he said clearly, lowering his forehead so that it was pressed against yours. “God knows I’ve wanted to since the day I met you.”

It took a minute for his words to find meaning in your own brain. But as soon as they did, you looked up at him hopefully, your eyes widening. “Really?”

“Fuck, yes,” he rasped, his thumb wiping a tear you hadn’t even realized was falling. “Are you kidding me? I don’t just bring pumpkin muffins to anyone… That was my attempt at making a move.”

“Instead I got clocked with a bird feeder before throwing myself at you,” you groaned. You leaned forward and rested the non-injured side of your head against Luke’s chest. 

“If I didn’t think you had a pretty severe concussion, I would more than welcome you throwing yourself at me,” Luke assured you.

You scoffed. “The concussion may have given me the courage to throw myself at you, but I’ve been wanting to do it way longer.”

You felt his chuckle vibrate beneath you. “I’ll tell you what…” he began, his hand sprawling out against your back. “You still want me after you’re not concussed, and you won’t have to throw yourself at me ever again.”

A shiver ran down your spine– your body thrilled with the idea. “Deal.”

“In the meantime, how about I hangout here? Make sure no more bird feeders fall on your head.”

You smiled against his chest, unable to contain the feelings he elicited inside of you. “I’d like that,” you admitted. 

[shares-a-vest]

Happy MET Gala Day. I wrote some tags on THIS post and instantly got brainworms. cw: In this ficlet, Eddie calls Steve a slut but it is said with affection.

"Steve!" Eddie screams over his shoulder into the next room. But his voice only echoes around him, bouncing off the pristine white walls of the hotel room ensuite that he thinks is as big as his uncle's old trailer, "The car is gonna be here any minute!"

Silence.

He smoothes his hands down his lapel one last time and smiles at his reflection before he turns on his heel and rushes into the hotel suite where he finds Steve right where he left him, in a make-up chair getting all dolled up by Chrissy with Robin by his side.

She is asleep in a bedazzled bathrobe and honestly, Eddie would prefer to join her. Not only is attending the MET Gala an expensive evening (Eddie loathes to think how much money Steve has spent in the lead-up to all this), but it all involves being gawked at and judged and repeatedly asked the same three questions by the press who are just going to make him come off like a real asshole anyway.

"Just getting glam done," Steve says, grimacing as Robin gives a grunting snore.

"Stop eating those flowers, Erica..." she mumbles, dipping her head and nuzzling into the plushy warmth of her collar.

Chrissy rolls her eyes and steps back to examine her handiwork.

Whatever that is, Eddie can't really tell. Steve looks just like his regular pretty self with maybe a spot of shimmering blush. He opens his eyes, fluttering his lashes and – well yeah, whatever Chrissy did makes his eyes pop more than usual.

But those eyes quickly grow dark, shadowed by a frown when Steve gives Eddie a once over.

"Is that your outfit?" he accuses.

Eddie nods and does a little twirl only to spin back around to the sight of Steve pursing his lips.

So much for pleasantly surprising each other with their outfits – the only thing that had Eddie giving this whole deal an ounce of his attention.

"Well it isn't on theme," he continues, shrugging with a nonchalance that would give Anna Wintour herself a run for her money.

"What are you talking about?" Eddie defends, "I'm wearing lace!"

He flaps his jacket to reveal a sheer black lace shirt before lifting his touser legs enough to show off his matching socks.

Steve pinches his nose.

"Eddie, that is a bare minimum!"

Eddie flails his hand in the direction of Steve's barely-there shirt, a sheer number that shows all of his chest hair.

"Excuse me for not dressing like a total slut."

He blushes as Steve stands up to reveal a similarly sheer pair of pants (if you could call them that). Underneath is nothing short of a goddamn codpiece that Eddie is certain won't cover his boyfriend's whole ass and –

Robin snorts again, causing Chrissy to giggle.

She nudges her partner and Robin startles awake, almost tipping back in her makeup chair and Eddie realises that 'doing glam' has taken so goddamn long, all because Buckley decided she needed the world's biggest feathery eyelashes.

"Boring!" she says, taking one bleary-eyed look (if she can see through those bird wings, that is) at Eddie's outfit.

She blows a raspberry for good measure.

Steve turns, chuckling and yep – that is at least half of his ass hanging out in some sort of lace-assless-chaps-codpiece situation that has no business being anywhere but on their marital bed – or a paid-for hotel equivalent.

Maybe they should just stay right here, Eddie thinks as he looks, his mouth agape as he ogles the sight before him.

"Calm down, Eddie," Chrissy warns with a wicked grin.

"Well, it's far too late now for us to do anything about it," Steve pouts, throwing on a floral-embroidered vest that at least covers a shred of his modesty, "I told you to come see my stylist."

"What about my brooch!" Eddie shrieks, pointing to the diamond-encrusted rose pin just above his breast pocket, "It's crystal."

[a-rat-who-writes]

College Cove AU post

(I live and die by the fact Cove looks more like this between step 3 and 4 even though this is during step 4. He looks SO SOFT IN THIS PICTUE AUHEYFKIULWFHEY Cove looks LIKE THIS but maybe a little slimmer)

‣ College Cove is 24/7 horny

‣ Without a DOUBT he's pent the fuck up

‣ College is definitely different than highschool was and he decided to follow you to wherever you went to college because you two were dating and mother of God did he get so much more touchy

‣ He's never overbearing, but he definitely is much more needy and loves laying in bed with you in either of your dorms and relaxing during your off days or between classes

‣ He also loves sleeping with you in your bed even if nothing happens, he just likes waking up next to you and feeling your warmth

‣ Doesn't matter if your roommate is there (Miranda or any other of your friends that you chose at the beginning of the year to dorm with) he will give you as much attention as he can.

‣ Cove looks so adorable in his laid-back clothes whenever he goes to class. His normal hair down or put into a tiny ponytail, glasses, a tank top, and grey sweatpants. MOTHER OF GOD IS HE HOT

‣ He somehow doesn't know how much EVERYONE looks at him (especially some of the girls) but he always thinks it would be because he has something in his hair or something

‣ Cove is also the type of person to give you his shirt and wear a skimpy ass top if you felt like boys were staring at your shirt. (so you would swap shirts)

‣ Cove ALSO would carry your books / bookbag to the classes you have together (or just walk you to your classes).

‣ This mf would give you the most passionate kiss before walking away and going to his class that's on the other side of the school, leaving you speechless, appalled, etc etc

‣ Both the confidence this man got and the audacity is INSANE (but its also so so so so SO hot)

‣ If you two share a class that isn't that important or if you understood the class and not paying attention to it for a couple hours wouldn't hurt, you definitely would sit next to Cove and play with his hand under the desk or write down dirty notes to show him which would make him flustered.

‣ After class he would retaliate against you and kiss you in an empty hallway, pushing your back up against a wall while he holds your face gently. (but after he would act like nothing happened and would be his cute self O_O????)

‣ Cove always has that natural ocean smell, it's like-- INGRAINED in his skin. In the mornings when you wake up, you instantly inhale the scent of the outdoors back in Sunset Bird and it makes you think sometimes that you are actually back home

‣ Sometimes in class if you are focusing on some calculus BS or something, Cove will stop whatever he is doing sometimes and just look at you with these.. *SOFT* GODDAMN EYES that when you notice, make you melt.

‣ Without a doubt Cove loves destressing you after your classes or if you are on a time crunch for a paper, he will put your hair up for you or let you sit on his lap. If you let him, he definitely would give you neck kisses the whole time. Not anything aggressive, but he would sit behind you and keep his lips and face in the nape and sides of your neck, giving you soft hickeys that would quickly go away after a day or two, and feather-light kisses that if you let it-- would so easily distract you.

‣ Cove's really good about controlling himself most of the time, (especially in public) but if you two are alone and you kinda.. EGG him on, he will toss you around like you weigh nothing

‣ Cove also loves letting you wear his clothes if you're smaller than him / wear the same size. If you go out / go to class with some clothing piece or jewelry item of his on you, he will be giddy inside and be very pleased like you're displaying that you're his.

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

Hello my talented little writing bird

If it’s okay can I request a little drabble with the reader being very flirty and quick-witted with Steven and Marc, to the point where she might actually be able to make them shy? Kinda fluffy but I can see her being able to woo them to bed teehee

Hello there, charming anony. :)

You just made me giggle multiple times. 😂

All I can say is: Marc would poke back. :D

Flirting with the boys

Steven

You held a Taweret plushy to his face, grinning brightly.

"Look! You're just as cute as her!"

Steven just looked at you, and you can clearly see him getting red. "Wot?"

"Don't you mean 'hot'?"

Steven looked away, getting a bit too flustered.

"Stevy." You pouted, reaching out to pinch his cheek playfully.

He glanced back to you. "Mhm?"

"Come here, cutest, most handsome, sweetest Steven!" You hugged him, feeling how warm he has gotten. "You're so goddamn hot." you purred, immediately feeling Steven's body heat up even more.

"Your charmings there are working." Steven chuckled softly, returning the hug.

"Don't catch a fever now. I still need you."

"You need me?" He asked.

You pulled back a bit, giving a dirty smile. "Yes. I need you so I can help you to cool down. You know?"

"I think I can manage."

"Let me help you out. I started heating you up, now let me cool you down."

"How do you think can you do that?"

You leaned in, stopping at his ear. "The bed is cold. Let's just lay there, body against body, warm eachother up and then blow off some steam."

Steven raised an eyebrow, looking at you with a cheeky smile. "You think you can handle it?" he slowly started guiding you to the bed.

Marc

You and Marc wanted to go get some groceries. You were already waiting for him, the door opened and he walked out, chewing on gum and sunglasses covering his eyes.

You looked him up and down, giving a seductive smirk. "Uuuh, you never told me you're a playboy."

He stopped moving, even stopped chewing his gum and turned to look at you, one of his eyebrows arched up as he just stood there, lips slightly parted, giving you the 'What the fuck' expression.

You raised an eyebrow. "You having a stroke?"

Marc started chewing again, flashing an arrogant smirk. "I knew you'd like my sunglasses. They were expensive after all."

The problem with Marc is, no matter how much you tease him, he always teases back, sometimes even turning the tables.

"Don't choke on your gum, Spector." you catched up with him, walking alongside.

"Before I'll even get close to choking, I will make you choke." The words came out drier than sand.

"Oh fuck..." You were genuinely speechless.

"Yeah that too."

You just snapped your head at him, he looked back at you, smiling and chewing like an arrogant piece of shit.

You reached out and pinched his ass. Marc let out a surprised, almost high pitched yelp and flinched.

Marc rubbed the spot on his ass you pinched while you laughed your ass off. "Never thought you'd get that vocal!"

He just grumbled, and you were certain he gave you a scowl, even with the sunglasses on. His cheeks were slowly turning red.

"Aw, all it takes is a pinch to your ass and you get red."

You saw him giving a side eye through the side of his sunglasses and you couldn't be happier about it.

"Do red hand prints on your ass count for you too?"

Your eyes widened but you couldn't come up with a counter.

"Thought so." He smirked.

"You were making sounds like a girl, Marc."

"Yeah because it was my ass!"

"Your poor ass." You shot a cheeky grin.

Marc grumbled and you two resumed the walk.

Later at night, in your shared bed, you woke up by the lack of your fluffy pillow. Looking to over to Marc, he laid face first on it.

"My pillow!" You tried snatching it but he latched onto it like a fucking leech.

"Fuck." You grumbled.

Suddenly Marc moved. "Did you say something?"

"You have my pillow. Can I have it back?"

"Mhmm.." he mumbled, lifting his head and handing you your pillow back.

You snatched it, put it on his back and laid your head down. "Nice back." you grinned.

"Nice back huh? Wanna end up with your face in that pillow?"

You furrowed at hearing him, but then he was about to roll on his back and that's when catched his drift.

Your eyes snapped open, leaving no option but to accept the fact you were now seconds away from getting your face shoved into your fluffy pillow.

[michibap]

need to hear about hockey reader and schlatts first time.

yes yes yeah

she's finally here guys,

thank you user kiddiesmores for acting as a vessel of the prophecy

15k words because im fucking insane, sorry

TW: typical college activities, hetero sex

BEGONE TUCKER 🐑🩸

-if you think he's putting out ez you'd be wrong

-when you suddenly materialized into his life, he did some snooping, asking around about #23 on the women's hockey team

-if he was going to be seeing you four days out of the week, he should probably find out if you're secretly some kind of psycho freak

-but when he asks around, it seems like he's already kind of late to the party

-bc everyone he knows seems to at least know of you

-especially with the reputation you'd garnered on campus

-he'd learned a new word whilst asking around, conversation coming to a brief pause as he gives his friend a confused look

"What the fuck is a puck bunny?"

-charlie only glanced up from where he was tinkering with one of the robotics club's new projects with a coy smile,

"I'm gonna need you to take a look in the mirror, brother."

-the mischevious giggle that followed had schlatt sitting up straighter on his stool, reaching over to grab his phone

"Fuck you. What does that even mean? Fuck you." he spat as he rapidly typed the term, that he could only assume was offensive, into a search engine

-he presses his lips into a thin line and pegs an empty water bottle at charlie's head after reading the results

"I am no goddamn puckbunny." he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, "And quite frankly, I'm offended that you've taken me for some common whore."

-charlie laughed again, bringing his hands down from where they had shot up to protect himself from schlatt's assault,

"I mean, I wouldn't blame you," he says with a shrug, looking over his friend as he squirmed, "You're telling me you would pass up that up, if you had the chance?"

-schlatt forced a scoff with a cocky shrug,

"Not 'round here, partner. I'm built different."

"You wouldn't know how to handle allat anyways." a voice pipes up from another table

-schlatt turns in his chair to glare at where the eavesdropper is biting back a smile, holding his hands up in defense when schlatt flips him the bird

"FUCK you, tucker."`

●・○・●・○・●・

-since the first time he heard it, the term had been haunting his narrative

-puckbunny?

-like... a groupie?

-surely not

-part of him didn't believe it

-despite it being the way a solid five of his friends had heard of you

-surely you weren't a puck bunny, you just didn't give off those vibes

-and he didn't even know if the women's hockey team even had groupies like that

-shit, he didn't even know that the university had a women's hockey team until this year

-that, and he just didn't think you were the hook-up type

-despite your cocky and aggressive nature on the ice,

-he's noticed that you don't talk much outside of when you're with your team or with... him

-he found it almost comical how every ounce of your usual rowdiness leaves your body the moment you were without a friend by your side

[he tries to ignore his inkling sense of pride, but it has him sitting up a little straighter nonetheless]

-with your reserved nature, there's surely no way you're out here hooking up with randoms

-however....

-there is evidence that suggests otherwise (aside from what he'd heard from friends)

-the first incident is only a handful of days into your comeback masterplan

-it's the morning after a successful game for the women's hockey team

-there's solid number of hungover students dragging their sorry asses to class after a long night of celebrating the win

-he almost wants to point and laugh at his suffering peers, feeling beautifully rested after a long night's rest

-having gone directly home after the game and crawling into bed shortly after

-some of his smugness is zapped from him when he sees a cute blonde walking in the opposite direction as him, an obvious pep in her step

-he thought that the fact that she was his only equal in a sea of degenerates was what had caught his eye

-but as he looks her up and down, he bites back a scowl when he notes the fresh bruises and teeth marks littering her neck and collarbones that were exposed by the baggy sweatshirt she was donning

-obviously not hers

-he'd been FOOLED

-yet another soul lost to the wills satan, damned for eternity for the sin of-

-his judgements (which he refused to admit were rooted in jealousy) came to a screeching halt

-his eyes darting back to the sweater the girl was wearing

-wait a damn minute.

-that sweatshirt was very clearly not hers

-he stops in his tracks, doing a shameless double take of what the blonde was wearing

-it looked oddly similar to a sweatshirt he's seen YOU wearing

-he's broken from his trance by another student bumping into him, grumbling at the brief scuffle before making his way into the lecture hall

-you make your way in around five minutes after the lecture begins, as per usual

-he raises a brow when he sees you shivering in a thin long sleeve shirt as you wordlessly shuffle past the other people in the row

-he pretends not to look at the way your biceps bulge against the fabric as you drop your bag and adjust in your seat

-rubbing your hands together for a moment before pressing them between your thighs in an attempt to warm them up

"Thought hockey players didn't get cold?" he teased quietly, grinning when you side eyed him as you try to suppress your shivering,

"'S fuckin' brutal out there," you grumble, using one of your hands to reach down and open your bag to grab your notebook

"That's what jackets are for, pleb."

-you only sigh in defeat, the cold having zapped too much of your energy to bother conjuring up some clever comeback,

"No dip," you hiss, "Couldn't even find my fuckin sweater this morning."

●・○・●・○・●・

-there was another incident not much more than four days later

-it'd been after you convinced him to move your session from the collaboration office to a nearby dining hall

-because according to you

"If I don't get something in my stomach in the next three to five minutes I'm gonna start throwing things. And I mean it."

-he follows you around as you load up your plate

-shaking his head no when you ask if he wants anything

-you were griping about some group project that you were struggling with, casually dropping that you were ghosting your group mates because of how bad it sucked

-he wasn't really listening, more focused on following you through the crowded dining hall as you led him to your table of choice

-but as the two of you were walking, you were interrupted by a sudden shout of your name

-you halted in your tracks, and he mindlessly walks into you, stumbling a bit after basically bouncing off of your back, your stance unmoving

-he peaks over your shoulder to see who had stopped you

-his brows shooting up at the sight of a cute brunette eagerly looking up at you over the rim of her glasses

"I'm so glad I caught you! I don't think you got my texts,"

-he watches your shoulders rise with a sharp inhale as you wipe your palms on your sweats,

-an anxious habit of yours that he'd picked up on the longer he's spent time with you

"Heyyy youu..."

-and he quickly puts the pieces together

-taking in your anxious tell and the girl standing in front of you, who had flagged you down in the middle of the dining area

-he has to rub a hand down his face to suppress a laugh

-there is no fucking WAY he's watching you get called out for ghosting you group project right in front of him

-this is simply too good to be true

"Yeah I, uh..." you pause and suck your teeth, glancing away for a moment

-and he can SEE the smoke pouring out of your ears as your primate brain kicks into overdrive

"My service is just... weird, I guess. I must not've gotten em."

"No, no, it's totally okay" she rushes out, her eyes shoot up and catch schlatt's and he quickly averts his own

-a little guilty at being caught eavesdropping

"Umm, are you busy right now?"

-he watches you stand a little straighter and glance over your shoulder at him

-something in your eyes shifting when you seemed to remember he was behind you

-and he shifts his weight from one foot to the other as he raises a single brow at you, obviously biting back a smile

-oh boy OH BOY

-here it comes!!!1!!

"Yeah, I'm actually here for tutoring right now, so..."

"Oh!" she chirps, "What for? I could probably help if you want-"

"Nahh, my tuition pays for him to be here." you insist, jabbing a thumb in his direction

-he watches as the girl's shoulder deflate, his own sagging as well

"Oh..."

-that's IT?

-where is the TEA? the DRAMA?

-he wants to see this girl crash out in a very real and serious way

-because he KNOWS how frustrating you can be in an academic setting, so he can only imagine what you'd be like as a groupmate

"Yeah, we should probably get going, actually. Time's a wastin'" you finish with an awkward laugh

"Oh, okay. I'll see you around, I guess..."

"Totally, totally... Later!" you call as you begin to walk away

-schlatt moves to follow, but you don't make it far before the girl reaches out and grabs your wrist,

"Hey, wait!"

-you look eyes shoot down to your wrist then back to her with a frown

-HERE IT IS

-he almost wants to applaud his fellow nerd for standing up

-there seriously does need to be some geek unity on this godforsaken campus-

-his train of thought comes to a screeching halt when he watches the girl look up at you hopefully, pulling her lower lip between her teeth before she continues, a little shyer,

"Text me?"

-when he watches your eye her up and down

-the corner of your mouth pulling into a little smirk

-he realizes that this interaction is going in a FAR different direction than what he had assumed

"I'll see you around."

-with that, you pull your wrist from her grasp and walk away

-and schlatt is hot on your heels as he follows you to a table in a quiet corner

-practically throwing his bag into the booth before sliding in after it

-the moment he's sat, his nosey ass is running his mouth

"What the fuck was that?" he rushes out with a bewildered laugh

-you chuckle and shake your head as you slide into the booth across from him,

"Shit was weird, right?"

"Weird?" he repeats, bewildered

-he turns his head to look in the direction where the girl had walked off in

-laughing when he sees her already looking in your table's direction from where she's sitting

"She wants you bad, bro."

-you only roll your eyes, corner of your lips twitching into a cocky smile

"Everyone wants me." you proclaim cockily

-schlatt laughs again, shaking his head

-usually he would make a comment to shoot you down a peg, but he'll give it to you this time, he supposes...

-game recognizes game

"So, what's the dame's name?"

-you hum, shifting in your seat so you can follow his eyes to where she's sitting,

"Honestly," he watches as you catch her eyes, one of your own dropping into a playful wink as you send her a little wave

he watches her perk up in her seat and eagerly wave back

"I couldn't remember her name if you had a fuckin' gun to my head," you mutter with a laugh

-you glance back over to him, expecting him to be laughing with you, smile falling a little when you see he isn't even cracking a grin,

-as a matter of fact, he's doing the opposite

-his face set firmly into a judgmental frown

"What's it to you?" you ask, a little defensive

“You don’t even know her name?” he hisses

-you roll your eyes at his tone, scowling

“Does it matter?”

●・○・●・○・●・

-it was a damn shame that your douchey tendencies tarnished the romanticized version of you that lived in his head

-because much to his dismay

-as your three week comeback plan continued to unfold

-he’d found that maybe you’ve grown on him

-just a little

-after the first week of awkwardly quiet meetings where the only talking the two of you did was him answering your questions and an occasional biting comment,

-the two of you had surprisingly grown fairly close

-you could call it forced proximity, but he has a feeling it’s a little deeper than that

-especially now that his friends have seemed to pick up on it

-he won’t even give anybody the chance to try and tease him 

-loudly groaning and interrupting the conversation the second anything that could possibly pertain to you comes up 

-maybe it was the way he was suddenly interested in tagging along to hockey games, but only for the women’s team

-or the way he’d print out all of your practice sheets ahead of time instead of emailing you the pdfs and making you print them yourself  like he does with all of the other students he’s tutoring

-it could be the way he’ll drop his conversations, coming to a hard stop when his phone goes off, anxiously checking to see if it was you

(and nobody believes him when he says it, but it usually really is you)

-there’s also the fact that he steps out of the room the moment he sees your face peaking through the small window of the workshop door

-you’d picked up the habit of stopping by if his bi-weekly robotics meetings are still running after your practice lets out 

-neither of you mention how the math and science building is well out of the way of your walk to the student athletes' housing

-but his fate was truly sealed the other day

-during your regularly scheduled session, you’d gotten a text from coach letting you know that practice had been canceled that day 

-pickles, his beloved frenchie, had managed to eat an entire large pizza and an order of garlic knots and was suffering the consequences

-he watched you cheer, celebrating your newly found free time

-and in a brief moment of confidence, he offered to let you tag along with him to his robotics meeting

“If you don’t have anything better to do, of course.”

-he really did think you were joking when you took him up on it

-only realized you were quietly tailing him about half way through his walk to the math and science building

-he only knew you were there when he heard the crinkling of you unwrapping some sort of snack from behind him

-whipping his head around and releasing a short shout when he sees you

“Jesus, they need to put a fucking bell on you,” he hissed, “Why are you following me?”

-he frowned when you looked at him like he was an idiot

“You told me to, douchebag.”

“What? When?”

-you click your tongue and give him another look, and he squirms a little, waiting for you to answer

“...When you asked me to come to your meeting… and I said yes?”

-he lets out a little “Ohhhhhh,”

“I didn’t think you’d actually wanna come.” he admits with a laugh

-you shrug and break into a light jog to catch up so you could walk beside him

“Nah, wanted to see that fat fuckin’ head of yours put to use.”

“I hope you know that I’ve reserved the right to revoke your invitation.”

-you only hum, lips twitching into a grin, 

“You won’t.”

-when he opens the door, all of the chatter that could be heard from outside came to an abrupt stop

-all heads turning to where you followed schlatt into the workshop

-you awkwardly cough into your fist when nobody says anything to you, just staring silently

“Uh, what’s good mathletes?” you awkwardly try to break the ice

-beside you, schlatt sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose while his friends chuckle,

“Robotics.” he corrects

-your tongue presses to the side of your cheek with an almost imperceptible raise of your brow, and he could tell that you were doing everything in your power not to laugh

-had you two been alone, you’d have made some kind of joke about how you’re itching to rob him of his lunch money

-but in a room where you’re significantly outnumbered by not just nerds, but your cute tutor’s friends?

-you decide to secede with a hum

“Right, right. Robotics team.” you correct yourself, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye before looking back to the rest of the small group, “My bad.”

“No worries, man.” Charlie pipes up with a friendly smile, “You’re on the hockey team, right?”

“Yup, Number 23.” 

-schlatt sends alex a dangerous glare from over your shoulder when he loudly coughs after choking on his water when he hears the number

-you give him a weird look before wiping your hands on your joggers, 

“Right. So, practice was canceled tonight, and he said it was alright if I crash your meeting,” you explained, jabbing your thumb back in schlatt’s direction,  “if that’s okay with y’all, of course”

-obviously, there was no protest

-schlatt rolls his eyes as he watches his peers push a few of the benches together

-eager to pick at the brain of the notorious #23, who seemed to be wrapping their usually introverted friend around her finger

-however, you seem a lot less eager to boast about yourself as they had been expecting

-sitting there quietly as they all settle into their tasks for the day, waiting for you to start talking

-you look around, a little unsure of what to do with yourself

-what the fuck were they building, a bomb?

-there were tools on the table that you had never seen before, and when you take a look at a paper nearby, it was filled with an almost unintelligible scrawl of numbers and symbols you didn’t even know existed

-he lets you squirm for a minute, occasionally glancing over to watch you fiddle with the fabric of your pants as you anxiously look at the array of parts and papers and pencils scrawled out in front of you

-maybe it’s a little cute to see you floundering outside of your element, sticking by him in an unfamiliar setting

-you manage to catch his eyes once, and you send him a pleading look

-he only raises his brow, smug

“Yes?”

-you sigh, knowing that he’s going to force it out of you eventually, 

“Where do you want me?”

-charlie freezes in the middle of twisting a prong

-glancing up at where you and schlatt are sitting across from him with wide eyes

-schlatt’s lip curl into a shit eating grin as he reaches for a ridiculously tiny screwdriver, 

“Oh, I’ve got just the thing for you.”

-he assigns you the most dreaded task he could think of,

-having you twist tiny little screws into the stupidly small threaded holes of the 3d printed box they planned to fill with all of the guts and wiring of their new bot

-but the task comes as a relief, giving you something to do with your hands as you listen to the idle chatter of him and his friends, occasionally chipping in

-enjoying hanging with the gaggle of geeks more than you had been expecting to

-you were dragged into the conversation again when tucker inevitably started going on about his most recent pump, 

“I see you in the gym all the time,” he says, getting your attention as he smiles at you from across the bench, 

“You’re fuckin’ jacked man, we’ve gotta go sometime so you can show me what’s up.”

-you only grin, glancing up from where you have the piece of machinery you’ve been working away at in your lap, 

“Oh for sure, I see you in there too,” and schlatt watches tucker light up like a goddamn christmas tree, “You’ll have to take it easy on me.”

-later on, the conversation takes a turn towards an upcoming competition that they had coming up, which you were eagerly invited to

“Wait, on the 12th?” you ask, deflating a bit,

“I’ve got a game that day, I won’t be able to make it.” you say with a frown

-there’s a chorus of groans from the team, disappointed both by you being unable to attend their tournament, and them not being able to go to your game

-you frown, crossing your arms and teetering back in your chair as you think for a moment

“Well, what’re you guys doing for your celly?”

“Celly?” Jaiden repeats, cocking her head

“Celebration.” you elaborate

“Right, well it’s kinda up in the air because we haven’t, y’know, won yet.” schlatt attempts to be snarky

-frowning when you only you nod at him before turning back to the others

“Nice, well when you guys do, Phi Sig is throwing for the team. You guys should pull up.”

-there are some excited reactions from the team, but schlatt crosses his arms over his chest, leveling you with a suspicious look, 

“You’re inviting us to a party to celebrate winning a game that you haven’t played yet? A little bold, don’t we think?”

-it wasn’t a popular take, for sure

-a direct invite to a Phi Sig party was a high honor around these parts

-and he remembers you saying something about the other team being “full ‘a fuckin benders” when he asked you about your upcoming game, confident in your ability to win

-but he remained weary, not wanting to risk getting the team’s hopes up

-but you disregarded any anxieties he had when your lips curled into one of your infamous cocky grins, a quick glimpse of your on-ice persona

“That’s one way to put it.”

●・○・●・○・●・

-the function already seems to be in full swing by the time they arrive

-there’s already somebody passed out in the front yard, surrounded by empty tweas

-you could hear the music and lively chatter coming from the house all the way from the street, windows lit up with colorful string LEDs

-schlatt sucks in a deep breath, following after his friends who are excitedly bouncing towards the house

-all of them proudly donning their matching windbreakers they had won at the tournament they had just returned from

-and part of him wants to turn tail and call it a night, just going back to his dorm after an exhausting day

-but he hears alex’s giddy giggle when they open the door, the riotous volume of the party now being heard at full

-he steels himself and ducks in, following the group to the kitchen, trying to keep a headcount as they struggle to navigate through the rowdy crowd

-it’s a relief when it’s a little quieter in there, only a handful of people in there chatting and pouring themselves drinks, the music slightly muffled

-he finds a corner to situate himself in as his friends geek over the selection of alcohol set out

-he grins as charlie hands him a red solo cup filled with sprite and something that burns as it slides down his throat

“Jesus, what the fuck did you put in this?”

“Shut up and drink it, pussy.”

-he won’t argue with that

-he makes the mistake of looking out at the rest of the party over the rim of his cup as he gulps down some more

-needing some liquid courage after seeing a small group of guys pointing at their jackets and snickering

-he averts his eyes, deciding that it wasn’t his problem

-instead choosing to look in the living room where a large number of people have congregated around a game of beer pong

-some others dancing to the music playing over the speakers

-his eyes travel along the back wall, where some partygoers linger on the outer hedges of the crowd

-of course, his eyes are naturally drawn to you

-he chokes on his drink as he watches you lean down so that a redhead in scandalously tight jeans can whisper something your ear, your hand planted on the small of her back as you pull her closer

-he splutters and struggles to swat tucker away when he comes up and firmly pats him on the back as he coughs

-when he recovers, he can’t help but look back to where he found you as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand

-eyes going wide when he sees your eyes already on him as you lean in closer to whisper something yourself

-lips curling into a charming smile when she pulls back with a laugh and you gently nudge her away

-he watches as you push off from the wall and make your way through the crowd and towards him, the throngs of people parting around you as you wade through with ease

-dressed in your jersey, lazily thrown over a hoodie and paired with baggy jeans

-he can tell by your flushed cheeks and toothy smile that spreads across your face when you enter the kitchen that you’re already decently tipsy

“What’s good, mathletes?!” you greet excitedly, happy to dap Charlie up as you walk in

-one of your teammates pops her head in after you with a confused grin

“Not the mathletes-” she laughed

“Aye, that’s robotics team to you.” you correct her

-schlatt’s eyes go wide when come closer to him and reach reach out and grab his shoulder

-easily spinning him around and pointing out the back of his windbreaker

-his face gets hot when he feels your finger drag across the poor quality printing on his back

“State champs.” you read proudly

“Damnnnn,” your teammate commends, nodding in approval

“I can drink to that!” another one of them, who seemed to have materialized in the kitchen, chirps excitedly

-the rest of the party rushes by in a blur from that point on

-because the next thing he knows,

-he’s going shot for shot with the women’s hockey team’s captain while you cheer him on,

-your drink sloshing over the lid of your cup as your throw your arms up and cheer

-he doesn’t know why he thought he could go toe to toe with a carbed up athlete, but it makes for a good time either way

-he won’t remember tomorrow, but with some firewater in his blood he was able to let loose and enjoy himself

-the only evidence of it will be blurry photos he finds in his camera roll and sent in the groupchat the next morning

●・○・●・○・●・

-the next time he regains sentience, he finds himself out by the street, hunched over a trashcan and hurling up the big mac he had eaten on the way back to campus however many hours ago

-he doesn’t hear you walking up behind him

-nor did he notice you follow him out when you saw him stumbling towards the door, the friends he had come with too sloshed to notice his escape

“You alright there, big guy?” he hears you ask, an entertained lilt to your voice

-he only groaned and hung his head further into the bin

“You were goin’ pretty hard in there,” you tease

-and he raises his head to glare at you, bringing up a hand and using the back of it to wipe his mouth

“Fuck yeah I was.” he said proudly, swaying as he pushes himself to stand up again

“‘M not done yet-” he mumbles, and makes to walk back into the party

-unfortunately, he doesn’t make it very far

-your eyes go wide and one of your hands shoots out to grab a fistful of his shirt as a last ditch attempt to break his fall, but it doesn’t do much help

-he ends up flat on the ground with a stretched shirt, groaning up at the sky

-you, once again, aren’t much help

-still a little tipsy yourself, and cackling hard enough that you end up on the ground next to him

-he would have taken a moment to appreciate the sound if everything wasn’t spinning

“God, that was good” you sigh, wiping away stray tear

“I fuckin hate parties.” he grumbles

“Yeah, I’m sure you do.” you chuckle

-his chest goes tight when your face comes into view, looking down at him from where you’re seated beside him with a teasing smile, 

“You got somebody to bring you home?”

-he scowled, reaching up to push your face out of sight, 

“Don’t need you ta fuckin bring me home-”

“Brother, you are on the ground.”

“Fuck you.” he spits, moving to push himself off the ground, groaning once he’s sitting upright, “I can’t believe you let this happen.”

-you bark a laugh,

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.” he scoffs, once again wobbling as he gets back on his feet, “None ‘a this woulda fuckin happened if you- if you- if you jus'-”

-he pauses and presses his lips into a thin line, glaring at where you’re looking up at him from the ground

-conflicting emotions swirling in his chest

-caught between enjoying your company and wanting you to leave so he can let his brain shut off as he lies on the cold concrete

-you watch as he struggles to string together a coherent thought, laughing to yourself as you get off the ground with significantly less struggle

-and all of a sudden it feels a little too much like you’re laughing at him

-anger flaring in his chest as he thinks back to the guys who had been snickering about his and his friend’s jackets earlier

-fucking student athletes and their stupid egos

-you’re no better than him, with your stupidly toned body and captivating smile

-once you’re standing, the two of you are nearly chest to chest

-if his brain wasn’t short circuiting before, it definitely was now

-his eyes widen and his chest goes a little tighter when it finally processes that you’re looking up at him

-thanks to the combination of your lack of added height without your skates and the close proximity between the two of you

-he’s close enough to smell the liquor on your breath and the residual stench of pot mingling with your perfume

-it’s intoxicating enough that he doesn’t realize how hard he’s staring at your lips as they stretch into an amused smile

“You were saying?”

-his eyes dart back up to yours, face growing hot when he realizes he’d been caught

-if he were a little more sentient right now, he would articulate just how badly you piss him off

-how much it frustrates him that he is simply unable to dislike you, no matter how he wishes he could (and probably should)

-with your stupid cocky attitude and smug smiles

-and your frankly unfairly great sense of humor that gets the two of you weird looks when you have him cracking up in the collaboration office

-or how easily you’ve slotted yourself into nearly every aspect of his life

-somehow weaseling your way into his academics, his work, his social circle

-his entire goddamn psyche

-worst of them all, he hates how you toy with him

-and he hates how he lets you

-your eyes go a little wide when he leans in close, feeling his breath brush across your lips with the proximity

-you make no move to pull away

-and maybe that’s his final straw

“Fuck. You.”

-the two of you remain standing close like that for a moment

-he flushes as your eyes bore into his own, searching for something, but he stands his ground, staring right back

-he frowns when you laugh in his face, 

“Yeah, I thought you’d say something like that.”

-you suck in a deep breath and glance away, shoving your hands into your pockets and teetering on the balls of your feet, 

“Listen, you can feel… however you want about me,” You pause and meet his eyes again,

“The main concern right now is gettin you somewhere safe so you’re not sleeping on the turf tonight. Now c’mon, ’s fucking cold out.”

-you reach out and grab the sleeve of his windbreaker, and attempt to pull him along with you as you try to walk away

-but he remains firmly in place

-you frown a little and tug his sleeve again, 

“What’re you doing? Let’s go,” you insist, nodding your head in the direction that you were trying to lead him to

-he narrows his eyes at you

-caught between enjoying you tugging him around and being pissed that your entitled ass just assumes he’ll follow you just because you told him to

“Where’re you takin me?” he slurred

-you gave him a weird look, eyes darting from him to the front door of the house as another partygoer stumbles out and leans over the handrail to puke into a bush, then back to him

“Umm, probably my place-”

-you’re cut off by him scoffing and dramatically ripping his sleeve from your grasp,

“Fuck that, ‘m not going home with you.”

-you laugh a little, unsure of what he’s getting at, 

“Umm, well I don’t really know how to get to yours, but if you think you can lead-”

“No, no. ‘M not going anywhere with you.” he mumbles petulantly, crossing his arms over his chest

-you sigh, bringing up a hand to pinch the bridge of your nose before letting it flop back at your side,

“Why are you being so difficult right now?”

“Fuck you.”

-he watches as the last ounce of patience leaves your body, glaring up at him as you run your tongue over your teeth to keep from saying anything you shouldn’t

“Y’know what? Fine, be like that. Have fun with the raccoons, dickhead.”

-and with that, he watches as you walk away without as much as a glance over your shoulder

-and his brain is going a mile a minute as he watches you get further away, part of him expecting you to turn around

-when you don’t, something ugly stirs in his chest

-and he just can’t let you walk away with the final word

“I’m not some fucking puck bunny!” he calls after you

-he blanches when it comes out, but resists clapping an embarrassed hand over his mouth

-that did not sound as hard as it did in his head

-his face gets embarrassingly hot when he sees you stop in your tracks and look at him over your shoulder, bewildered

“...What?”

-and he knows he should just shut his fat fucking mouth

-but he’s drunk and he’s angry and you’re right there and once he starts he just can’t stop 

“I’m not just gonna do whatever you say jus’ for you ta fuckin pretend I don’t exist after you get what you want.”

-he stops when you fully turn around to face him again, thoughtfully looking him over before you speak, 

“And what is it that you think I want from you?”

-he doesn’t say anything, jaw clenching as he keeps his eyes firmly set on you

-he knows that you know what he’s talking about

-he couldn't possibly be the only one that feels the tension between the two of you

-you sigh at his lack of response, bringing a hand up to adjust your hair before you speak

“Listen,” you sigh

“If I just wanted to fuck you, I already would've. Plain and simple.”

-you watch as his face morphs from anger to confusion

-a small smile twitching on your lips as you watch the cogs in his brain turn before turning back around with a shrug and continuing on your way

-he stands there, watching dumbly as you walk away

-but he hears a quiet laugh before you’re calling to him over your shoulder, 

“You coming or what?”

-you shake your head with a smile when you hear heavy footsteps quickly approaching you from behind

●・○・●・○・●・

-the rest of the walk is spent in awkward silence

-well, awkward for schlatt

-you seem to have no issue with quietly walking side by side 

-but his mind is elsewhere, thoughts racing by too fast for him to pick one and stick to it

-you chuckle a little when you see him dazedly staring at the open elevator door in front of him, giving him a second to see if he notices

-when he doesn’t, you lightly push him with a hand on the small of his back before following him in 

-neither of you say anything until you enter your student apartment

-schlatt takes off his shoes on the doorway, leaning against the wall so he doesn’t topple over as he unties his sneakers

-you lazily kick your own shoes off before making your way into the kitchen, schlatt on your heels

-he bumps into your back when you stop abruptly

-he follows your eyes to where you’re looking

-finding your roommate standing in front of the fridge in her jammas, bag of popcorn in hand as she sends both of you a nasty glare

“Heyyyy Clair-”

“Who is that?” she interrupts, eyes boring into Jay’s soul

-he flounders, mouth falling open and snapping shut a few times as he tries to find something to say

-before he gets the chance, she’s turning back to you and heaving  a disappointed sigh, 

“I thought we agreed to no more groupies in the dorm.”

-you blanch as you now feel two sets of angry eyes on you

“He’s not a groupie!” you rush out, “Scout’s honor!”

-Claire only sighs, shaking her head as she turns to begin walking to her room,

“Just keep it down tonight, please.”

-after her bedroom door slammed shut, you turn to face Jay, who had been glaring at the back of your head, with a guilty smile

-and he would have given you hell for it if he didn’t feel his stomach churn, clapping a hand over his mouth

-your eyes shoot open and you’re like “Oh shit”, dragging him to your shared bathroom

-you stand there a little awkwardly, watching him wretch over the bowl for a moment

“Alright, ummm…” you scratch the back of your neck, “I’ll be right back. Don’t die.”

-he grumbles something indecipherable from where he’s hunched over and you take it as an okay to leave

-when you return a few minutes later in your jammas with a bottle of water, he’s seated on the floor with his back against the cabinet

-you nudge the side of his head with the bottle and he grumbles and snatches it out of your hand

-guzzling half of it as you settle across from him against the bathtub, just watching him

-he groans obnoxiously once he decides he’s had enough

-placing the now crunched bottle on the floor next to him and watching you back

-after a moment of silence you glance away and anxiously rub your hands over the fabric of your bottoms

-and he has to admit that you look awfully cute in your oversized t-shirt and flannel pants

“So…” you start awkwardly, “How’re we feeling?”

-he quirks an unentertained brow and presses his tongue to the side of his cheek before responding, 

“Why don’t you give me your best guess.”

-you give a quiet laugh before responding, 

“Well, you look like shit”

-he can’t help but roll his eyes and laugh alongside you, some of the drunken haze beginning to clear away as he sits on the cool tiles of your bathroom floor

“I mean, can’t be too bad if I’m here, right?”

-you only hum, pulling a knee up to your chest and resting your chin on it and looking back down at the tiles

-another beat of awkward silence passes

-schlatt is struggling to come up with another witty comment to make you laugh

-something charming and funny that’s sure to convince you that he’s worth your while

-and it’s on the tip of his tongue, but just as he goes to open his mouth, you’re looking back up at him

“I really like you.”

….

FUCK

-FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCJ

-his eyes go impossibly wide and he claps a hand over his mouth hard enough that his head knocks back against the cabinet

-he does not know WHAT possessed him to say that

-but the humiliation only sinks in further when your shoulders shake with a quiet laugh

“Yeah, I know.” you wear another amused smile and give a coy shrug, “Cat’s outta the bag.”

-schlatt is significantly less entertained

-the hand clapped over his lower face drops to his side and his lips part to allow his mouth to hang open dumbly as he stares at you

“What?”

-he really thought he had been sooo cool and chill and subtle about it

-how the fuck did you know? 

-how long have you known? 

-did somebody tell you???

-DO YOU THINK HE’S A WEIRDO PERV FREAK?

-before he got the chance to spiral any further, you’re speaking again, 

“No worries, man. I like you too.”

-another pause

-he sits there for a moment, wide eyed and completely still

“WHA-”

-his shout is muffled by you shooting forward to cover his mouth with your own hand

-he groans when the force knocks his head back against the cabinet once more

“Shut the fuck up, my roommate is sleeping.” you hiss

-you watch as his eyes crinkle and feel his lips spread into a smile under your hand before he says something that’s muffled by aforementioned hand

-you laugh and remove it, wiping any spittle he had unintentionally left there off on his shirt

“So, you have a crush on me?” he confirmed aloud, grinning when you nod

 “That’s mad embarrassing.”

-his cheeks hurt from how wide he’s smiling at you as you roll your eyes

“Fuckin’ tell me about it.”

-there’s another beat of silence, significantly less awkward this time

-the two of you take a moment to breathe a little easier now that the tension that’s been plaguing both of you in the past weeks has finally been acknowledged

-Schlatt is the first to break it, still a little confident with his lingering buzz

“So…” he starts, “What now?”

-you sigh with another shrug, 

“I dunno, it doesn’t have to be like,, serious or anything.”

-he hums, nodding his head with a thoughtful expression as he shifts a little anxiously

-he’d been worried you would say something along those lines

-your promiscuous history nagging at him from the back of his mind

-no judgment or anything, but a “casual” relationship might actually destroy him

-especially with how off kilter you’ve had him with just a crush

-it’s a matter of self preservation, because he knows you have the potential to ruin his life

-and that he would let you

-you watch as he brings his his hands up and presses his fingers together as he struggles to find a way to articulate himself without sounding like an ass

-ESPECIALLY with his major fuck up earlier (even though it seems to have worked out in his favor thus far)

“I don’t think I’d be down for anything that wasn’t… serious.” he made sure to say it slowly, cautiously

-sure to articulate himself in a manner that wouldn’t disturb the serene atmosphere in the bathroom

-his face falls when he hears you suck in a sharp breath through your teeth, 

“Right, I figured you’d say something like that. Um,”

-he watches as you sigh and tilt your head back to look at the ceiling like it has the answers written on it

(ignoring how soft the newly exposed expanse of skin looks, muscles flexing underneath as you nervously swallow)

“I’m going to keep it real with you, this is one of the best seasons the team’s had in a long time,” you start, your eyes once again landing on schlatt who nods, urging you to continue 

“And right now, I’m not willing to risk having any new distractions to throw me off my game, especially with the end of the season coming up."

-he deflates a bit, cheeks heating up with shame as he begins to brace himself for the sting of rejection

"That, and the fact that I don’t want to end up disappointing you by making any… commitments,  that I frankly don’t have the time for right now.”

-Once it seems like you’re finished, schlatt nods again with an understanding hum

-despite not really understanding what you’re getting at

-ARE YOU REJECTING HIM OR NOT, WOMAN?

-GOD

-he watches you bite back a smile

-but it was hard to do with how braindead he looked as he tried to decipher what you were saying

“So what that means is that if you’re willing to hold out until the end of the season….”

-you pause and look at him expectantly, waiting for it to click

“Oh… OH!” and suddenly he’s sitting up a little straighter and bright eyed

-he catches himself getting a little too excited and reels it back in, leaning back against the cabinet with a totally nonchalant shrug, 

“I guess that could work…” he hums thoughtfully, stroking the chair on his chin, “But I’d like to make it very clear that you will be the one holding out.”

-now it’s your turn so sit up a little straighter, eyes lighting up as you sense the challenge in is tone

“Yeah?” you ask, tongue darting out to wet your bottom lip as you look him up and down

-he blushes but matches your energy, a rogue grin coming to spread across his lips

“Yeah.”

●・○・●・○・●・

-you would think that having that conversation would have cleared the air a bit

-releasing some of the tension that had been building

-but it most definitely did not. 

-as a matter of fact, it seemed to do the exact opposite

-it was brutal, really, being torn between wanting nothing more than to jump your bones the minute the two of you are alone and wanting to beat you in this stupid fucking challenge that he set

-this, combined with your sessions becoming less frequent with the end of the season growing closer and you deciding to make it your personal mission to make his life difficult, made for an incredibly long week

-but he wouldn’t deny that he was enjoying the newfound attention

-it was like the less he saw you, the more forward you became

-growing more determined to break him the closer you got to your final game

-admittedly, he was holding out a little better than you had initially expected

-holding strong when you decided to sit next to him during your tutoring session instead of across from him like you usually would

-pressing the strong line of your thigh snugly against his, the smell of your shampoo clouding his thoughts as he struggled to explain what a quotient was for the thousandth time

-showing up to sit in on his robotics meeting in a compression shirt that has him stumbling over his words every time he snuck a glance at you

-it definitely did not help that almost every time he did, he found that your eyes were already set on him, unmoving when he meets your gaze

-though that’s not to say that it was a cakewalk for you

-the dry spell was brutal, especially considering that beforehand you were getting laid pretty consistently

-the more time that passed, the more desperate you became

-getting to the point where even the smallest things left you reeling

-though you’d rather god strike you dead on the spot than admit it

-but that fucker was already onto you and you knew it

-you could tell by his self satisfied smile after he watched you squirm as he praised you for passing your most recent exam

-or hovering close enough to you that you can can smell his cologne and feel the heat that the warm mass of his body was throwing off

-he’d also stopped bothering to hide his brazen stares, only giving you a toothy grin when you turn and catch his his eyes firmly planted on your ass

-it soon became painfully clear that one of you had to break, and soon

-it’s just funny because

-neither of you expected it to be you

●・○・●・○・●・

-it’d been an unusually free day for both of you, with most of campus being shut down due to a snow storm rolling in

-you’d taken advantage of it, sleeping in until about noon and waking up to flurries of snow falling from the sky and the sound of your roommate watching jersey shore

-you grumble and roll over, ready to go back to sleep until you hear your phone buzz on your nightstand

-you sigh and sit up, running a hand through your hair to get it out of your face before picking it up, a sleepy smile stretching across your lips when you see who had been blowing up your phone

smartfella 🤓: hi 🧍🏻‍♀️

smartfella 🤓: hey lol

smartfella 🤓: u still down to study today or na

smartfella 🤓: a little snow cant stop the grind 💪

fartsmella 🍖: wtf r u talking about

fartsmella 🍖: collaboration office is closed 2day u fool

-you watch his typing bubble pop up and disappear a few times before you receive a response 

smartfella 🤓: since when is the collaboration office a concern

smartfella 🤓: we’ve only actually studied there like twice

fartsmella 🍖: what does this have to do with me

smartfella 🤓: 😐

smartfella 🤓: come over

fartsmella 🍖: k

-schlatt lets out a small laugh when he reads your response, a little surprised at how little convincing it took

-but stops laughing when the reality of you coming over sets in

-he panics and lunges out of bed, stumbling due to his legs being tangled in his blankets

-he hurried to make his bed before scurrying around his room to gather any trash he could find before rushing out into the common room, where ted was lounging on the couch

-his roommate’s eyes go a little wide when he sees how frazzled schlatt looks, shouting indignantly when he tears the blanket off of his lap before folding it and throwing it over the back of the couch, 

“What the hell, man?!”

-schlatt doesn’t even look over at him as he quickly makes his way to the windows, opening them up and making a desperate attempt to waft out any unpleasant boy smell that may be lingering in the dorm, 

“You need to leave.”

“What?”

-ted yelps when schlatt makes his way back over to him and tries to drag him off of the couch

-it quickly turns into a match of slapbox as the two bicker, 

“You need to get the hell out of here man-”

“The fuck are you talking about, I live here!”

“Just get the fuck out, please”

“Dude, you can’t just-”

-both of them freeze when they hear two sharp knocks on the door

-eyes darting from each other, then to the door, then back to each other

-before schlatt even has the chance to think, ted is taking advantage of the distraction and shoving him to the floor, sending him stumbling back into the coffee table and knocking his elbow before landing on his ass

-but he gets up impressively fast when he sees ted making his way to the door and hurdles himself after him, hot on his heels

-but he wasn’t fast enough, his eyes going wider when he sees ted’s hand turning the knob

“Wait-”

-but before he can continue to plead, ted is swinging the door open

-silence falls over the dorm once more when ted opens the door

-finding you standing in the hallway

-dressed in a pair of snoopy pajama pants and your team jacket, having just thrown it on over your jammas after rolling out of bed and leaving

-you give the tall stranger in front of you a weird look as he just stares down at you before glancing back to where schlatt was standing closely behind him, looking a little exasperated

-why do his friends always do odd shit like this??

“Uh, Hey.” you try to break the silence

-ted doesn’t respond, only slowly turning his head back to schlatt with a shit eating grin that has his ears turning red

“Just ignore him” Schlatt pleaded

-you only raise your brows, eyes darting between the two men in front of you,

“Right. So are you gonna let me in? Or…”

“Oh! Right, sorry.” ted secedes, stepping out of the way to let you walk in,

“It’s nice to finally put a face to the name, I’m Ted.” he introduces himself with a grin, holding a hand out for you to shake

-you take it, giving it a firm shake as you awkwardly laugh, 

“Haha…. what?”

-you’re about to make a comment about how weird the whole interaction has been, but stop when you hear quiet hissing and rustling fabric behind you

-you glance over your shoulder and barely catch schlatt aggressively mouthing something at his roommate before he realizes you’re looking at him and gives you an awkward smile

-your attention is brought back to Ted when he releases your hand, 

“Well, I was just about to head out, you kids have fun!” he chirps, before walking out into the hallway and closing the door behind him without another word

-you and schlatt are left in silence for a moment,

“... He didn’t put any shoes on.”

“That’s his problem.”

“That’s foul.”

-you take a moment to briefly glance around, grimacing a bit when you realize just how much nicer the student athlete housing is in comparison

“Damn ma, you live like this?”

-he can’t help but let a laugh slip, 

“Welcome to gen pop.”

“Is it legal for them to have you guys in here without heat??” you asked, briskly rubbing your arms in an attempt to warm up  after your cold walk to a colder apartment

“No, uhh… the windows are open.”

-both of you turn to look at the aforementioned windows as another cold gust of wind blew in

“Why?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

-you laugh before kicking off your shoes and taking off your jacket before making your way further inside 

-you make yourself at home, flopping onto the common room couch

-schlatt follows after you, remaining standing and looking down at you as get comfortable

-gulping when your t-shirt rides up and exposes a sliver your midriff as you lazily slouch

“So you invite me over to freeze and do math? That’s fucked.”

-he chuckles, shaking his head and doing one last scan of the apartment to make sure any embarrassing items are put away and out of sight

-you say something else as he does, but he doesn’t process it

-instead, his eyes are firmly locked on the awful anime poster he and ted ironically put on display on the back wall

-paling when he sees the grotesquely large breasts hanging off of the small anime girl on the poster

-you frown when you see him staring straight over your head, face pale and eyes wide, like he had just seen a ghost,

“Dude, what is your problem?” you ask, moving to turn to see what he was looking at, but pausing when he speaks again

“Weshouldgotomyroom”

-he blurted out the first thing that came to mind, desperate to keep your attention away from the humiliating poster

-he KNOWS you would tear him to shreds for it, and he's not mentally prepared for that

-part of him wants to breathe a sigh of relief when you turn back to fully face him, leveling him with a confused look,

“What?”

-you watch him flounder for a moment

-trying to direct you to his room, away from any chances of seeing the poster, without being suspicious

-any thoughts of anything vaguely suggestive had been completely cleared from his head, solely focused on the task at hand

-but you frown, cocking your head as you look up at him and try to figure out what he’s up to

-because it’s obvious that something has him antsy

“You…” you start slowly, “Want me… to go to your room?” you ask to confirm

-just to make sure

-bc not to be a horndog but like,,, why else would he be rushing you to his room after kicking his roommate out?

“Yeah, yeah, it’ll be uhhh,, less cold in there.”

-he wonders if he’d been caught when your brows briefly raise

-but you follow it with a shrug  

“Alright, lead the way.”

-you laugh, a little confused when he comes over and grabs your forearm to drag you off the couch, 

“This is new” you simper, and go to look at him over your shoulder once you’re standing,

-but he puts a hand on the small of your back and gives you a rough shove before you get the chance to see the poster, sending you stumbling a bit

“Jesus, I’m going!”

-you walk up to what you’d assumed was his door, and you were about to turn and ask to make sure it was the right one

-but he reaches past you, briefly trapping you between his broad chest and the door, before turning the knob himself and pushing it open, allowing you to walk in ahead of him

-you awkwardly stand in the middle of the room, waiting for him to do something

-you watch as  he makes his way over to his desk and comfortably leans back on it, crossing his arms over his chest

-observing you observing him

-something in his chest warms at the sight of you in his space, a small smile spreading across his lips

-you feel your cheeks warm under his gaze and look away, trying to find something to take your attention off of him

-because the longer you look at him the more you feel like you need to be chained to a tree like a goddamn werewolf

-he looks stupidly good for just being in sweatpants and an old tshirt

-the tendons of his forearms flexing where they’re crossed over his chest

-you can see a glimpse of the meat of his upper thigh pressed tightly against the fabric of his sweats with how he’s splaying them on the desk

-with that stupid little smile of his, some of his gorgeous curls falling over his falling over his forehead

-you wipe your palms over the fabric of your pants, hoping to quell the itch to reach out and touch but it doesn’t do much help

-you cough into your fist before matching his stance, crossing your arms as you make it a point to look around

-taking in the variety of band posters and trinkets he has laying about

“‘S cute in here.” you mumble, daring a glance back at him

-and it was a goddamn mistake

-you watch as his small smile curls into something cockier as he slightly tilts his head to the side

-maybe something about you being in his territory has him feeling a little more confidence in himself

-it has you swallowing thickly as he shamelessly eyes you before they slowly trail back up to meet your own

-it may also have something to do with how good he looks

-or how you haven’t gotten any in weeks

-or the cocky lilt to his voice when he speaks

“Yeah?”

-and that’s all it takes to finally crumble your resolve

-before he even has the time to process what’s happening, you’re storming towards him

-he’s looking at you with wide eyes as you plant your hands on the desk behind him, trapping him there as you bully your way between his thighs before crashing your mouth into his hard enough that your teeth clack

-he can’t do much more than groan into it and reach a hand up to squeeze your waist

-sighing as your tongue slips between his lips and one of your hands shifts to grab the underside of his thigh and drag him closer to the edge of the desk

-he gasps when the other comes up to cup the side of his face before slipping behind his neck and knotting into the hair at the base of his skull, roughly tugging his head back to press a trail of wet kisses down the column of his throat

-he brings one of his own hands up to bury itself in your hair as he tilts his head back to grant you more access

-releasing a startled moan when you sharply nip at the soft skin when he gives your own hair an experimental tug

-when he feels your hand begin to snake its way further up his thigh he’s pulling back a bit, 

“Hey, wait-” he tries, using his hand in your hair to pull you away from his neck, groaning when you surge forward for another kiss that he forces himself to pull out of,

-whimpering when you catch his bottom lip between your teeth before releasing it with a pop

“What?” you snap impatiently, but it’s awfully hard to take you seriously with your glazed eyes and swollen, spit slick lips

“T-The deal,” he struggles to get it out, chest heaving as he tries to pull himself back together, “What about the deal?”

-anxiety twinges in his chest when you look at him like he’s stupid, 

“Your deal?” you correct, clicking your tongue when he gives you a demure nod

“I could not care any less about that stupid fuckin’ thing.” you grumble before trying to lean back in for more

-you glance back up to his face when he shifts to bring a hand up to your shoulder to stop you, frowning when you see his smug grin

“You do realize that this means I win, right?”

-you only scowl, 

“Is that really what you’re thinking about right now?”

-he laughs, bringing both of his hands to grab your hips to try and pull you close again, 

“‘M sorry, c’mere” he murmurs, grinning when he sees a smile begin to spread across your lips

-despite you rolling your eyes as you allow him to drag you towards him

-this kiss is far less frantic, both of you smiling and sighing into it as his arms come to wrap around your waist, your hands coming up to cup the sides of his face

-you grumble indignantly when you feel him pulling away again, frowning when you feel him unwrap his arms from around you

-but you quit your whining when he uses the newly freed space to stand to his full height before leaning back down to plant another grossly wet kiss on your forehead and squeezing you to his chest in a tight bear hug

-both of you devolve into giggles as he attempts to shuffle towards his bed, struggling as you go limp in his arms to make his life difficult, along with attempting to weave through the laundry he had lying on the floor

-when you finally reach the twin xl, he releases you from his grasp,

-moving his hands to grab the underside of your thighs and hoisting you onto the bed before climbing up after you

-once he’s up there, you make quick work of straddling him, releasing a self satisfied hum once you’re comfortably perched in his lap

-you smile when you see him looking up at you, a little star struck as he takes you in

-blushing when he continues to shamelessly stare as you glare at him

“Dude, what is your problem?”

“You are so fucking hot.” he breathes without missing a beat

-you only nod with a shy smile, a little awkward

“Uh, Thanks.”

-he laughs before leaning forward for another kiss, and you’re happy to indulge him

-surging forward so that he can feel your chest pressed against his own and reaching one of your hands to bury itself back in his hair

-the other makes to grab one of his wrists, guiding his hand to your lower back

-happily sighing when he takes the hint and grabs a firm handful of your ass with a groan

-it isn’t long until the his free hand slipped under your shirt

-sighing into your mouth when he feels the strong muscles of your back shift under smooth skin as you grind into his lap

-you hum against his lips and grin into the kiss before pulling back, catching your breath with a toothy smile before reaching down to pull your shirt over your head

-you eagerly lean back in for more, glaring when he stops you with a hand to your waist

-he curses under his breath, and you feel him shift under you so he could lean back to get a better view of you

“Fuuuuck,” he breathes, running a hand up from where it hand gone to rest on your hip back up to your waist, grabbing it hard enough to bruise, strong fingers pressing into the firm muscle there 

-You laugh, slightly abashed at how openly he was admiring you

-but you don’t let it stop you from taking his wrist and using it to guide his hand to paw at your chest

-gasping when he shifts forward to press his mouth to the newly exposed skin, grinning at your quiet laughter as his facial hair rubs against you

-your moan harmonizes with his as he sinks his teeth into the meat of your shoulder before pulling back to admire his handiwork

-frowning when he sees that not too far from the angry red indents his teeth had left

-were very faint red marks that dragged all the way down to your lower traps

-he quickly pulls back and gives you a bewildered look, eyes wide

-your eyes get just as wide, if not bigger as you scramble to defend yourself

-having already known what the hold up was

“Hold on- Those are mad old, on my mother’s soul.”

“Don’t bring your mother into this,” he scolds before leaning back and looking at your other shoulder, finding similar markings there, 

“How old?” he asked cautiously

“Pre-comeback,” you promise, “And she was fucking crazy.”

he raises an entertained brow as he looks down at you, “Good crazy or bad crazy?”

-you paused, taking a moment to hum thoughtfully before answering, 

“A little bit of both?”

-he pulled away for a moment to narrow his eyes at you before grumbling a quick “‘s fine.” before resuming his assault on your neck and shoulders

-you laughed a little as you felt him sucking and biting new marks of his own into your skin to quell the jealousy churning in his stomach

-it wasn’t long before he was trying to slip his hand down the front of your pants, coming to a sharp stop when he hears you speak

“Wait-”

-he frowns when you grab his wrist, stopping him

-he looks up to gage your expression, releasing the breath he had been holding when he sees you eagerly looking down at him

“Can I take your pants off?”

-he takes his hands off of you, instead opting to recline back onto the bed and folding his hands behind where his head now rests on his pillow

-you gasp when you feel his bulge press against you as his hips shift while he readjusts,

-face reaching a quite frankly humiliating temp when you see his stupid cocky grin

“I thought you’d never ask,”

-you scowl as you crawl off of him, moving back to kneel between his legs

“Don’t do that again.”

-he goes BRIGHT fucking red when you move to grab him underneath both of his knees and momentarily push them up, making quick work of effortlessly removing his pants for him before tossing them somewhere random in the room

“The basket was right there.” he scolds you, a desperate attempt to regain some of his dignity

“Shut up.”

-he goes to argue, make a comment about how bossy you’re being,

-but his mouth snaps shut as you move to comfortably kneel on your haunches, muscles of your thighs bulging with the new position 

-you set him down on your lap, his ass planted firmly between your strong thighs with his legs hanging over your hips

-he gasps as you hum, running your hand from where it rested on top of his thigh up to the hem of his shirt, toying with it a moment before moving to pushing it up under his chin, exposing his chest

-his face somehow gets more red, and he resists the urge to bring his hands up to cover himself like some blushing virgin

-you let out another hum as you run your hands up and down his sides before bringing them to rest on his hips

-he bites back a whimper when he feels your one of your hands move down to paw at his bulge, cooing at the small dark spot where pre had leaked through his boxers

“This wet from a little kissing, baby?” you mock with a little laugh

-your head snaps up, brows raised toward your hairline when you hear him release a barking laugh followed followed with a

“What the fuck?”

-he can’t help but let it get away from him, devolving into a fit of laughter as he brings his hands to cover his face,

“Oh my god, what the fuck?”

-you laugh a bit as well, bringing your hands away from his crotch to rest near his knees, thumb running over the soft hair there

“What?” you urge

“Nothing, nothing,” he laughs, struggling to catch his breath, “Jus haven’t really done…” he pauses to motion to where he was splayed in your lap “this before”

-your eyes go wide and you take your hands off his knees like the skin had burned you

“Fuck, you’re not a virgin, are you?”

“Do I look like a virgin to you?”

-he scowls when you don’t answer

“Fuck off. ‘m not a fuckin virgin.”

“Sounds like something a virgin would say.” you tease, laughing when he glares at you, “Sorry, sorry. I think I know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, I just uh,, never been on this end before, I guess.” he admits

“Mhm,” you hum understandingly, hand coming to absentmindedly pet along the outside of his thigh as you observe him, “Do you like it?”

-he blushes, anxiously shifting his hips where they rest in your lap, dick straining against his boxers as the dark spot gradually grows larger

“I think I do…” he admits, a little shy 

-you hum again, hand rubbing a little further up his thigh as your eyes rove over his body, stopping to meet his sheepish gaze,

“I think you do, too”

- he feels his brain go gooey as your lips curl into a predatory smile as you move both of your hands to grab at his squirming hips

“I think you like it a lot.” you look back up at him through your lashes

“‘S a shame I thought you would’ve put up more of a fight, didn’t think to bring my fuckin strap.” you grumbled

-you gave him another confused look when he scrambled to pull himself out of your lap, eyes wider now

“Hold the fuck up- Your what?”

-you look at him like he’s an idiot before speaking again,

“I- What? My strap, what do you think this is?”

“I definitely didn’t wake up this morning thinking I’d be getting fucking pegged!”

“I mean, I didn’t think I’d touch a dick today but you don’t hear me complaining.”

“Oh, fuck you.” he scoffs, 

-you run a frustrated hand through your hair, angrily throwing your other hand in the air, 

“If you’d fucking let me.”

-he lets out a disbelieving laugh as you frown at him

“Well, what now?” you ask impatiently

“What’re you talking about?”

“I don’t really know what else you want me to do, so…”

-schlatt gapes at you for a moment, hands flailing as he struggles to pull his thoughts together

“I- You- I thought we were fucking?”

“Fucking how?” you snap

“I thought I was gonna fuck you, dipshit.”

-he bites back a laugh when he sees you malfunction for a moment, mouth falling open and snapping shut a few times as your cheeks heat up

“Is that okay?” he asks, a teasing lilt to his voice

“... I guess I can work with that, “ you start, “Hold on, here-” 

-you move to tug him back from where he had scrambled back on the bed so that he was once again sitting with his legs splayed out, and you moved to sit back between his legs

-one of your hands reaches for the band of his boxers, you glance up at him for assurance, continuing when he gives you a short nod

-he pretends not to be offended when you flinch back after his cock springs out of his boxers when you pull them down, 

-cooing as it twitches and drools more pre onto the skin below his belly button as you delicately run your finger from the base to the tip

“You have a condom?” you asked, looking up at him 

“You don’t have one?” he asked a little incredulously

“Not ‘round here, partner.”

-he dramatically sighed as he stretched to rifle through his bedside cabinet, tossing the condom he had thankfully stolen from the front desk of the health office the other day at yoy

-you catch it with ease

-bringing it to your mouth to tear the packaging open with your teeth before delicately taking the latex ring out of the packaging, looking at it curiously

-he sucks in a sharp breath when your free hand comes to grab the base of his cock a little firmer than he would have expected, watching the cogs in your brain turn as you intensely stare at it

“All good?” he asks

“Yeah, just don’t look at me,” you request with a laugh, which he returns until he sees your face drop and you look at him expectantly, 

“Oh, uh, okay..?” he says, a little confused, but willing to tilt his head back to the ceiling

-throwing an arm over his eyes when the urge to look grows too strong for him to resist

-he’s gasping, his hips jumping as he feels you fiddle with the condom on his sensitive tip, growing antsy the longer you seemed to just be fucking around

-he sits up with a shout when something, he doesn’t even fucking know what, pulls painfully, 

“Jesus!” He snaps, “The fuck’re you doing down there?”

-he glares when you laugh a little, holding your hands up in defeat as you look at him with a guilty smile, like you were caught in an act, 

“My bad, man” you laugh a little,

“Kinda used to, uh… working with a different set ‘a parts, here.” you admit

“Hold on-” he starts, quickly sitting back up to look at you with wide eyes,

 “What?” his eyes dart from where your hand is still wrapped around him, to your other hand that’s holding the now slightly unraveled condom, then back to you

-his brows furrowing, a little concerned

“Is this… not kind of a big deal?” he asks, a little unsure

-you narrow your eyes at him, lips twitching into a wry smile,

“Don’t flatter yourself. Jus’ put the condom on, big guy.”

-he laughs and thoughtlessly does as you say

-brain mushy as looks up at you as you move to straddle him again,

-eyes going a little wide when you reach back and wrap your hand around his length and moving to align yourself with the tip

“WOAH- Alright- Slow your roll there, no prep is fucking crazy. Especially if it’s your first-”

-he’s cut off by a short moan being punched out of him as he feels his tip just barely breach your impossibly tight heat, it taking every ounce of his willpower to keep his hips from jumping up

“Ffuuck-” he whined, throwing his head back and thickly swallowing, hands shooting up to dig his fingers into your sides hard enough to bruise as he tries to keep you from sinking down any further

-his grip doesn’t do much to stop you, ignoring his gasping as you struggled to sink lower, hissing at the stretch, thighs trembling with the effort of hovering over him

“Hold on, I need to- Fucking- Ah-!”

-you whimpered, leaning forward to plant one of your hands on his chest for leverage, essentially pinning him down in the process

-he gapes up at where you hover over him, cheeks flushed and brows pinched together, mouth dropping open with a silent moan as you clenched around him 

“Fuck, please-” he pleaded, no longer concerned with preserving his pride as he whined, his voice raising gradually raising in pitch the more desperate he became

 “You need to get off, please, fuck, I-”

-he’s cut off by your own whiney voice, 

“Fuck- Please, please, Jay,” you mewled, gritting your teeth as you struggled to take more, “Want it to hurt- fuck-”

-that damn near did the man in

-he’s left with no other choice but to use his grip on your waist to tear you off of his lap, ignoring your yelp as he suddenly slips out of you

-he took advantage of your brief moment of discombobulation, taking the chance to flip the two of you so that he was hovering over you, putting you in a similar position to the one you’d had him in earlier

-though now he was was caging you below him, hands firmly planted by the sides of your head so that all of your senses were completely overtaken by him

-his cheeks are flushed and he's glowing with a thin sheen of sweat, his hair going a bit curlier, a few strands sticking to his forehead

-and he is fucking glaring at you, chest heaving as he struggles to even his breathing back out

“You-” he panted, “Are a real piece of fucking work, you know that?”

-you grinned, breathlessly laughing up at him

-but it’s quickly cut off when one of his large hands darts up to roughly grab your jaw, squishing your cheeks to forcibly silence you

-making it a point to shake you a little bit, just because he could

“I’m not fucking laughing,” he gritted, leaning down so that face was close enough to yours that you could feel the puffs of his breath on your cheeks

“You’ve done nothing but give me fuckin problems, y’know that? I should fuckin’ kick you out and make you wait the last four days.”

-he falters when you let out a keening moan, looking up at him with bleary eyes as you press your thighs together

-he exhales through his nose, still glowering as he gives your face another shake, 

“Lucky you’re so fuckin’ cute,” he murmurs lowly, leaning down to plant a hard kiss on your forcibly pouted lips before releasing your face

“Now, ‘m gonna stretch you out, and you’re gonna fuckin like it,” he explains, before grabbing the base of his cock and teasingly tapping it against your mound a couple of times, grinning when your hips cant up,

“and then you’ll get what you want. That sound good, sweetheart?”

-his lips spread into another grin when you quietly whine, dumbly nodding up at him

“Yeah, ‘s what I fuckin thought.” he huffed cockily

-any concerns you’d previously had with the… competence of his dexterity were quickly blown out the window the second he brought a hand down, swiping his fingers through your slit

-your eyes go wide and you flush when he brings his fingers to his mouth with a groan, closing his eyes in ecstasy as he sucked the slick off of his fingers before dipping his hand back down for more

-running his fingers through your folds again, coming to swirl around your sensitive nub for a moment before gliding back down to circle your hole

-grinning when your hips jump and you bring your head up to watch as he touches you

-you release a guttural moan when he dips one of his fingers into you, throwing your head back as it curls inside of you, twitching as it presses up against your gummy walls

“Hands’re so fucking big, Jay, fuck-” you whine as he bullies another into you, releasing a hard exhale as he feels your stupidily wet heat squeeze around him

“So fucking sensitive, baby,” he coos as you convulse around his knobby fingers, “Wha’sa matter, those girls not taking care of you? hm?” 

-he only laughs as you whine up at him, free hand firmly planting itself on your lower stomach to keep you from bucking away as the sensation grows more intense

-he makes quick work of making you come undone, you being brought to the brink of an orgasm embarrassingly quickly as he worked you like a goddamn fiddle

-he moans with you, dick twitching where it lays against you as he feels you gush around his fingers, groaning when your trembling thighs clench around his hand, trapping it there until you’ve ridden out your high

-you go a little limp once the aftershocks finally leave you, humming when you feel schlatt press his weight on top of you as he descends to plant a few kisses on your chest and up your neck

“You here with me, sweetheart?” he asks, lightly tapping the side of your face as your eyes roll  back to the front of your skull

“Mmmh, ‘m here.” you mumble, squishing your cheek into the palm of his hand when it comes to rest on your face

-looking up at him with a dopey smile that he returns with a grin of his own

“You alright?” he asks, grinning when you respond with a noncommittal hum

“You think you’re ready for more?”

-now that gets your attention

-he chuckles when you surge forward fast enough that your heads almost knock together

“Can I get back on top?” you ask eagerly, seemingly to suddenly regain sentience

“I don’t know, are you gonna act right?”

“Probably not.” 

“Fair enough,” he laughs, but still moves to settle back on his back beneath you as you perch yourself in his lap once more

-he hisses as you use a hand to realign him with yourself, 

“Slow, baby, please” he pleads as you run the tip through your folds, enamored with how pretty the head glistened with your slick

-you only hummed, looking up at him as you fixed to sink down onto him once more, slowly, like he had asked

-taking time to enjoy the significantly less painful stretch this time, mouth dropping open and forming a little ‘o’ as you watched schlatt throw his head back with a strained moan

-he forced himself to bring his head back up to watch as you took all of him, cursing when your ass finally meets the top of his thighs and you take a moment to adjust

-you let out a shaky moan once he’s fully seated inside you, hands shooting to grab onto his shoulders the moment he shifts to sit up, big hands coming to rest on your hips as you adjusted to the intrusion

-he let out a pleased hum as you used your grip on his shoulders to pull him in for a needy kiss, whining into his mouth as you shifted to slowly drag your hips up before sinking back down

-it goes like this for a few minutes, sighing into each other as you both basked in the feeling of being connected

-but it wasn’t long until you were gently pushing him back down and planting your hands on his chest to pin him to the mattress once more, looking down at him with an eager grin

“Y’ ready?”

-he smirks up at you, awfully cocky for somebody pinned to the bed, 

“Been waitin’ on you.”

“Fuck off.”

-he goes to make another snarky comment, but is cut off by his own sharp gasp when you begin to try and find a rhythm, hands shooting up to your waist in a death grip as you bounce on him

-his grip loosens when you slow down, finding a comfortable pace that his him throwing his head back and groaning, struggling to bring it back up so he could watch you ride him, unwilling to miss the view

-you were lost in your own world on top of him, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, head thrown back as your muscles shift and flex with the exertion

-yelping and leaning forward to hover over him when his hips buck up to meet your ass, and he moans at the sight of you

“Fuck, baby” he gritted, “Take it so fucking good, fuck”

-he grinned at your keening moan when he began to piston his hips up into yours, you fall forward to plant your face in the crook of his neck, panting and mouthing at the skin there as your hips stop, allowing him to take over for a moment

-he laughed breathlessly as you moaned into his ear, 

“That good?” he teased, mewling when you sink your teeth into the column of his throat, growing needy at the sensation

-his hands moved from your waist to your hips, digging his fingers into the meat there as he attempted to drag you up and down his length

“C’mon doll, ride it- please-”

-he watches as you sit back up on top of him, grinning wolfishly down at him with flushed cheeks before once again finding your rhythm, moans punched out of you each time he meets one of your thrusts

-he clicks his tongue disapprovingly when he sees you bring one of your hands down to toy with your clit as you bounce on him, making quick work of roughly grabbing your wrist and pulling it away so that he could do it himself, groaning when he feels you squeeze him hard enough that he was worried he might pop

-it was a race to the end from that point on, fucking each other stupid as both of you try to make the other finish first

-schlatt is the first to break, cumming with a long, low groan and a thrust up into you hard enough that it almost knocks you off balance

-you stop for a moment to watch him ride it out, mouth dropping into in ‘o’ as his brows pinch up together, back arching as his hands hold you still on top of him with a bruising grip

-however, his low moans pitch up into something higher and whinier as you start bouncing again, abusing his poor spent cock :(

-but it’s not long until you’re following his lead, lurching forward to sink your teeth into his neck to muffle your moan as your walls spasm around him, cock twitching and managing another weak spurt of seed as he whimpers

-both of you lay there for a moment, panting into each other’s skin as you both try to recover

-you hum and melt into him when his arms come up to wrap around you, squishing you to his chest as he sighs

“Y’good?”

-you don’t respond immediately, turning your head so you can look up at him from where your cheek is smushed to his chest “Mhm,”

-he groans when you plant a hand on his face and use it to push yourself back into an upright position, laughing when he nips at your fingers, 

“Can you pull out, though? I can feel it getting soft,” you say with a grimace

“Fucking- Don’t make that face??” he laughs a bit at your slightly sour expression, “And you’re literally on top of me.”

“Oh, right,” you laugh, moving to get off of him, gasping when he slips out of you

-you stay seated on his thighs, watching with interest as he peels the condom off of him and ties it off, laughing when you lean forward and look at it, your nose scrunching, 

“Eugh,”

-he rolls his eyes at the childish sound, 

“Didn’t seem grossed out when you were bouncin’ on it.” he grumbled, smirking when he sees your cheeks go red again

-you remain perched on his lap for a moment, unsure of what to do with yourself

-but he doesn’t leave you up there long, reaching up to grab your upper arm and drag you down beside him, smushing the two together on the twin xl

-you watch as he closes his eyes for a moment as he comfortably rests his head on his pillow, hair a mess, flushed cheeks, bruised neck

-he peaks an eye open when he feels you staring, 

“The fuck is your problem?”

-you only hum, eyes soft as they take in his features, bringing up a hand to brush some of the hair off of his forehead,

“‘M just lookin,” you mumble, grinning when his cheeks flush and he swatted his hand away, 

“Would you quit it? Shit’s freaking me out.”

“You’re freaked out? I just touched a dick for the first time and you’re freaked out?” you ask with a laugh, cheeks hurting as you watch his lips spread into a grin as well, 

“Sounds like a you problem, toots.” he laughed, yelping a bit when you reached out to twist of some the hair on his chest, “Took it like a champ, though.”

“I sure as sure as shit did.” you say cockily, looking up at him with a toothy grin, “You’re next.”

-he pulls back to look at you, furrowing his brow at the vaguely threatening statement, 

“What?”

-you only release a content sigh as you snuggle closer to him, comfortably closing your eyes once you’ve settled

“When I bring this season home, I’m taking my victory lap inside of you.”

-he only laughs, not taking you seriously as he drags you closer and plants a kiss on your sweaty forehead

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.”

-he pales when your eyes snap back open, looking at him intensely for a moment for sleepily drooping shut again, 

“Jus’ wait.”

●・○・●・○・●・

-a few hours later, you wake up from your nap discombobulated, phone being blown up by your roommate, who was worried you’d died after not coming home from what was supposed to be a two hour tutoring session

-schlatt grumbles when you sit up, blearily reaching out to try and pull you back down, whining when you swat his hands away, 

“Where’re you goin?”

-you sigh, turning off your phone and carding a hand through his hair, 

“I gotta go,” you murmur, a small smile stretching across your lips when he presses his face into the side of your thigh, 

“Nooooo,”

-you allow him to cling to you for a moment before gently removing his hands from you and moving to climb off the bed, 

“Claire’s separation anxiety is kicking, gotta get back before she has an aneurysm.” you explain as you gather your clothes off the floor

-he sits up to watch you move around the room, grinning when he sees you grab the sweatshirt hanging over the back of his chair and pull it over your head, leaving your own on the floor

-his raises a brow when he sees you grab his pair of pre-cum soiled boxers off the ground and shove them into the pocket of your sweats, 

“‘M taking these.”

“You’re fucking sick” he laughs, cheeks going bright red when you grin and make your way back to where he’s sitting in bed

“Mhm,” you hum, leaning in for a kiss which he gladly gives you, quick to grab the side of your face to pull you in deeper, tilting his head for a better angle when he slips his tongue into your mouth

-you sigh before pulling back, rolling your eyes at his petulant grumble

“I’m going now.” 

“Fine.”

-but he can’t maintain his pout when you lean in and give him one more chaste kiss, quickly pulling back before he gets any more ideas, 

“I’ll see you around, ‘kay?”

-he only hums, dragging his hand down your arm as you pull away, 

“Seeya.”

-he flops back into his bed when he hears his door clicked closed, sighing before pulling out his phone to give ted the okay to come back

-you walk past him lounging in a common area on his way out, biting back a grimace at the sight of his bare feet on the communal couch and sending him a polite wave

-his brows shoot up when he takes in your quite frankly inappropriate appearance

-hair mussed, swollen lips, bruised neck and donning a sweatshirt that he knew belonged to his roommate

“Learn anything new?” he asked teasingly

-you only grin as you continue to walk past,

“You have no idea.”

●・○・●・○・●・

That’s it guys. Sorry she took so long, was on my prophetic bullshit last night

also if you’re a podcasting white man who reached the end of this, GET BACK 🤺

i’d like to make it clear that this is more of a fantasy projected onto a random face on the internet, it just happened to be jschlatt. OOPS

alr have a good one and thanks for reading

 later. 

[l4long-winded]

I don't know if I'm doing this right I apologize this is my first time doing an ask 😭 but I wanted to do an ask where Logan struggles with nightmares and like reader has telepathy and helps him one night when it's really bad, if not totally cool and sorry if I am not doing this right 😭

you're not supposed to be here.

the sky is rusted over with hues of orange and plumes of smoke, airplanes screeching through the air, gunfire in the distance, oxygen polluted with something so devastatingly harsh on each set of lungs within range of it. for logan, it burns. it's not exactly suffocating, but it wraps around his chest, bypassing his ribcage, and it constricts its way around his somehow beating heart. people don't understand that part. not dying, prolonged by his mutation, still hurts. it's still uncomfortable.

ending up here was not part of the plan. the structures of having any kind of plan always fall through nonetheless. some karmic misfortune that's followed him all the way to this point. even if he tries, if he keeps his head up, if he aids those he sees perishing around him, it always goes bad. today's heroic endeavor will come to bite him in the ass tomorrow.

but he tries anyways.

he has two bodies hoisted atop of his shoulders, naturally. shells of bullets fall onto the floor he trudges heavy steps on, falling from his skin, literally pushing them out and stitching itself back together in real time. the groans coming from the two are wheezing. it's troubling to know that they're not going to make it, but something keeps pushing his legs to move. something in him that he can not possibly explain or fathom. it's this instinct in him. the call to action he desperately tries to ignore time and time again, but alas, here he is, attempting to continue despite the forlorn outcome waiting for him ahead.

an explosion nearby knocks him off his feet. the two bodies hit the ground away from him, his chest and stomach covered in ash and dirt. he chances a glance up, neck craning, and his eyebrows furrow when he sees something in the clearing smoke.

you're not supposed to be here, you weren't involved in this, he hadn't met you yet, but here you are. withstanding the toxic environment, almost glowing as you approach him. you extend your hand out to him, the worry in your features not lost on him.

"what're you do—"

"take my hand," you urge.

everything in the background seems to muffle itself as logan stares up at you. he gulps his spit back, turning his head to pinpoint where those bodies fell. he can't hear them breathing anymore. with reluctance, he shifts his gaze back to you. the small smile you give him speaks a plethora of things without there being any kind of actual verbal exchange like it always does. so, he reaches, his hand sliding into yours. as you interlace your fingers together with his, the scenery around him changes.

the explosions fade, the planes disappear, the opaque clouds part, and they're replaced with birds chirping. the sun warming his face, grass beneath his crouching form. his opposite hand, the one you're not cradling, grasps the green blades into a curling fist. the scent of the soil fills his nostrils. even down to your fragrance and perfume and air that feels so goddamn good to breathe in.

the smile on your lips broadens as the anxiety on his face flits over with calm. logan sits up to his knees, shifting his mouth to your palm. he plants a long kiss there.

when he wakes, he notices you're at the edge of the bed. you're sat cross-legged. you couldn't help yourself. seeing him thrash around, claws jutting out slicing through the mattress, growling to himself, you couldn't sit by. you couldn't go back to sleep knowing he was struggling with nightmares again. trying to wake him physically is something you attempted in the past, light scars on your arms from his razor sharp claws piercing your skin to attest, but you didn't want to see the guilt in his eyes again. you couldn't let him wallow in self-blame and self-hatred for something he couldn't control. he would never willingly hurt you. sneaking into his dream was your only option.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to get in your head..." and see those awful memories.

"nah," he shakes his head. "i'm sorry you had to see that."

logan scoots closer to you. he uncurls your legs with one big hand, shifting you to him by your thigh.

"i'd rather have you up there, anyway. don' apologize," he murmurs while in the process of wrapping his arms tightly around you. his heart rate slows. he's not in the past. he's here with you now. maybe all his life isn't meant to go to shit. maybe he's allowed to be happy.