#going through the motions

[hardtofindneuro]

going through the motions

Dull.

Everything around George is dull.

The world around him feels wrong.

The laughter of his friends is muffled. Once viridescent grass is muted. Tropical air is unbearable; sticky and moist.

George stares at the TV screen while it plays his favorite movie as the pictures go by and words fall on deaf ears. He sees the film but doesn’t watch; hears it play but doesn’t listen.

Joy he found in Florida has been left behind, replaced by the familiar loneliness that he used to blame on the London rain.

Sapnap and Dream fall into the background, even though they’re the only ones he sees, and Patches tries taking on the role of caring for George instead of the other way around.

All the roots he’s grown in Orlando have been destroyed in a storm that’s only in his mind.

The days are passing by and George doesn’t know where they go.

[azukilynn]

ambivalence

how do you tell those few people who matter, who actually care, that you do not want to die but that you aren't very keen about living either

how do you iterate this going through the motions: clock-in, clock-out, eat, sleep, lather, rinse, repeat as nothing more than madness, sorrow, rage, silence, this endless, lonely fortitude

how do you sit on a fence without falling to either side, beauty here, decay there, both of them alluring, like the Sirens of Odysseus

how do you tell your best friend that you love her more than anything in this world, for calling you Sweet Sister

how do you straddle a conundrum, do you grip it with your upper thighs, as if it were a bucking horse, untamed, not yet broken, wild

how do you survive

azuki lynn

[howifeltabouthim]

When someone was gone, there was nothing left to do. The carrying on was exhausting.

Lisa Taddeo, from Animal

[moderndaymelodrama]

watching the captain’s storyline in episode 5 has sent me into an unexpected spiral, currently listening to hot & heavy by lucy dacus and remembering how i felt when i was 15 and secretly in love with one of my friends

[kniesguy]

what are we doing boys

[tragicallover]

If the sun exploded would we realize? Or would we simply believe it's a lovely sunset and not our last glimpse of life? If your world was crashing down around you would you care enough to take cover? If you were drowning, your lungs screaming for air, would you notice? Or would you continue drowning because the burn of your lungs could never beat the pain of your mere existence?

[hauntingsoundtracks]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Once More with Feeling

Overture / Going Through the Motions

[jakemyboy]

I wish I could sit with him all day.

[bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love]

It's so hard to love yourself when you keep getting tossed aside. You know we as people want to feel like we matter. Makes me want to keep to myself.

[riotsinmyh3ad]

On days like this I just wanna be held by someone who isn’t wearing a mask or playing an act we don’t even have to talk I just want to be in the presence of a genuine person

[euesworld]

"Every day I go through the motions, I go through each and every emotion.. and I would still dump a love potion in your drink and give you the ocean. I would rub you down with lotion and cause such a commotion cause I love you like a locomotive.."

IT PUTS THE LOTION ON IT'S SKIN, hahaha - eUë

[velv3tdream]

Not been doing too well lately

[bluesmaster]

Repeat in 364 days…

[whororhoe]

feel like crying

feels like i’m dying,

never being enough

never being chosen

never being allowed to catch my breath

it feels like my only home,

is under the world’s shoe.

today my body hurt

though i hardly moved,

today my eyes are blurry

from staring at nothing,

it reminds me my time

is finite

and i never know if that’s a blessing

or a curse;

because isn’t the real sadness

living the life i’ve lived?

isn’t it the punchline of the joke

to have a brain set on love all of your life

only to ever know what it’s like in fairytales?

isn’t the irony

having so many memories

full of cut out impressions?

only silhouettes and shadows surround me now

only numb loneliness rather than love

only nauseating pain rather than life;

and isn’t the true curse

pitying what has been lost and could’ve been,

every night crying to myself alone

every night wishing for death—

because of how much this soul

begs to live?

nothing in me

nothing has been done to me

that hurts worse

than hope.

[itsxbrookexloops]

The struggle is real….maybe I’m just a shit person after all….