#had too much fun with this lmao

[transsexualhamlet]

i saw a post ranking how much each of the Valar hates Melkor and I thought I would make a post with kinda the opposite side of that, so

Melkor's Ranked List of Most Hated to Least Hated Valar

Burning Scorching Undying Hatred

Yavanna- There is just a special #1 enmity Melkor has for her, as is very obvious. He fucking hates trees so fucking bad and it is very difficult to escape her Stuff all Over the fucking place. There is absolutely nothing about Yavanna that Melkor wants to interact with. She symbolizes life and happiness and flowers and junk and well. Clearly makes him want to puke. He is a fan of the Corpse Flower which she made specifically because she was angry at him but it failed bc he was like oh this is awesome. But clearly there is NO redemption between them

Ulmo- Also has to do with conflicting elements. Ulmo fucking ruins this man's life and then ruins Mairon's life AGAIN later. He gets ZERO points for this and the sea is really the only place Melkor could never manage to conquer. As the sea is a very thematic thing for the elves and their salvation from Melkor and his nonsense, Melkor hates water so fucking much not even just because it spies on him and Mairon certainly did not have better treatment by it in his day

Manwë- The only reason he's at #3 is because Melkor does appreciate how much of a forgiving sod the dude is. He has to admit it is very easy to get off scot free from his brother, though Varda is not so forgiving. But despite it, he just cannot get over the rage of his brother being god's favorite. It's really an issue

Varda- Varda would be above Manwë if not for the fact that Melkor doesn't even hate stars, in theory. He wouldn't mind them honestly if they weren't literally all named "star that hates Melkor" "star that hates melkor 2" "star that shows we all want to kill melkor with weapons" above his head 24/7. Varda hates Melkor more than Melkor hates him, but of course that adds up to a Lot. She is the goddess of light which just. Well they really truly do not like each other

Nienna- Imagine having a bitch designated specifically just to be sad about everything you do. Very annoying. Get over yourself. You can just not be sad about it. There's an upside in knowing his actions have caused so much suffering because you know, that's what he's going for, but the idea of Nienna still just disgusts him. He feels as if his domain has been invaded and inverted towards Eru's purpose, which has been. A major point of contention. Over the years

Vana- She obviously gets hated simply thru association with Yavanna. She has personally offended him less, but it bothers him a lot that he has had such little effect on her. He's made Yavanna cry a lot in canon but Vana just . Can get through anything, she's there no matter what, she's happy no matter what. It makes him Sad

Namo/Mandos- This is a really weird one for Melkor because for him it's like. Going to the mall in your most fucked up and insane outfit to piss people off on purpose and then you see someone who looks even cooler and goth-er but they have a lot of friends with them and seem mentally healthy and it's honestly really getting to you. There are things about the world that he knows that Melkor doesn't and that makes Melkor want to fucking eat himself. Also he kept Melkor in a cage for 3000 years and literally never even made conversation. Melkor cannot tell if he wants to be friends with this dude or wipe him off the face of Arda but neither of those are options in any world

Tulkas- You'd think this dude would be higher on the list, but Melkor rarely thinks about Tulkas and often forgets the dude exists. Obviously it pisses him off that some random guy jacked as hell came in and beat his ass more than once and he has zero other purpose in life. But as to being a nemesis of Melkor, Tulkas thinks himself much higher on the list than he really is. It's kind of funny

Oromë- Melkor's main beef with Oromë comes from the dude and his people constantly one-shotting his Beautifully Handcrafted Beasts, and to a lesser extent him telling the elves about the trees, but there would be a lot less fun in making increasingly Fucked Up Creatures if they didn't have someone to fight, and well. He didn't really like the elves anyway. Mairon hates him more, personally, because of Huan, but on principle Oromë doesn't bother Melkor too much.

Estë- Although it is rather frustrating to have someone who can heal trauma which you worked so tirelessly to inflict, Estë's power is rather limited and doesn't often come into play. It's like someone comforting your ex who you haven't thought about in years and going ohhh he sucked he was awful you're perfect like. Ok? Like you're Wrong but it's not like this matters very much after the fact

Aulë- Melkor has very little to say against Aulë other than those like two times he yelled at Mairon during the years of the lamps. Aesthetically a really great guy, great ideas with weapons and volcanos and machinery and giant stone halls and whatnot. But seriously not a fan of the big chain. Melkor even thinks big chains are super cool. Just not like. Around him. Without consent ofc

Vairë- Melkor says keep on making awesome tapestries of people fighting against me and losing. Go ahead give him bigger horns make him look really scary. No notes just didn't like the hundred years she spent making a weaving of him sitting in a jail cell.

Irmo/Lorien- As much as he doesn't really have anything in common with Irmo, there's nothing really to complain about. Melkor is rather good at invading dreams and enjoys fucking with people thru them, so rather glad they exist. It is a pretty decent art medium and can make torture interesting. Generally not a threat unless in the rare and vague case of prophetic dreams which are just not heeded very often. Irmo can send some elf a thousand dreams of Melkor's battle plans and they will forget 99% of it within a minute of waking up

Nessa- She's pretty solidly on the bottom despite being almost entirely irrelevant because well, Nessa has done nothing to ever bother Melkor. He likes deer and dancing as much as the next guy (especially the fucked up kind) and they would probably get along at a party provided she didn't recognize him lol. She probably doesn't even talk too much about her cringefail husband

Indifference to Don't Even Mind This One

[artkaninchenbau]

Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)

It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.

Bonus:

[keymintt]

a comic/zine about coyotes

[roppiepop]

Who’s coming to the cookout?

[spocks-kaathyra]

garak at stsf :))

[randomnesspersonified]

[fistfuloflightning]

I’ll never get there, but if I put the work in, maybe I’ll get close enough that I can chase just behind perfection — and have a front-row seat as you achieve it.

Chapter 20, Cultivate by @neonghostcat

[noelles-legacy]

Sebastian’s definitely not a big fan of the fact that Noelle is an animagus… ft Clora <3

I promised a comic with Clora @choccy-milky and so TA DA 🎉 plus a little extra… I kind of got carried away 😂 I hope I did Clora justice, it’s a bit of a thank you for drawing Noelle, I still can’t believe it tysm!💙🤍

Cat Noelle definitely has a knack for bugging Sebastian, this is definitely not the first time lmao 😂 she’s an absolute menace, if anyone wants to get anything from Seb, Noelle will for sure get her little claws on it. I imagine they have a friendly rivalry where they can’t stand each other but yet they end up hanging out because of Ominis and other MCs lmao

[glow-and-vamp]

Vamp: Some post "A Glitch in Time" thoughts

Vamp: Glow's reaction:

[fereldanwench]

🍿 NOW PLAYING 🍿 Immortal in the Code: A Cyberpunk 2077 Series

Compelled by a desperation that only Night City can incite, two Arasaka veterans become unlikely partners in a quest for atonement and salvation. Just renewed for a fourth season!

[created with this template by @seungnm ♡]

[nourtarts]

felt the spirit of the hunger games take hold of me and drew a bunch of characters from the first book the way I imagined them! might post finnick and the catching fire gang later

[kitamars]

enmi gintoki…………… orz

[artkaninchenbau]

Herding 🐑✨ [Shop]

[mildmayfoxe]

messed around with digital collage today instead of printing

[scholastic-dragon]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! ✨

I love your writing and when I saw your birthday post I was so psyched!

Would you please write something about the turtles (Bayverse or ROTTMNT, your choice) and the worst time/ place they’ve gotten erect? Maybe how the deal with it? Why they got aroused in the first place? Let your mind run wild ;)

Sometimes your partner or crush just gets to you and you can’t control your desire ;>

• Female reader/ or what ever you’re comfortable writing for

• Developed or no developed relationship

•All the turtles or just one you really like to write for (up to you)

• A short story or head-canons work equally well

Essentially go with whatever you feel most comfortable writing for with the prompt! Thank you! And have fun /^v^/

Also here’s some birthday cake for the road! 🎂 🍰🧁🎉

HAHAHAHAHHAHA I love this

Erection Directions

I'm thinking bay!boys but either works

MINORS DNI - LOTS OF SEXY STUFF BELOW - TURTLES ARE 20+ IN THIS - DONT BE WEIRD

Leo

Well....you see.... it was patrol

It was a slow night, they weren't planning on going out, everyone's in a bad mood

And then you call

And he let's the guys take a break and sneaks off behind a secluded wall to answer the call

"Hey love, were on patrol is there somehting you need-"

"I think I need you to come over and fuck me,"

😳 (the turtle was too stunned to speak)

Swallows his tongue and has to clear his throat before responding.

You flirt and banter for a moment, then it becomes clear that your hand in inside your blue panties (that you sent a lewd picture of)

"Baby, I can't I'm on patrol" He responds after you ask for a video of his "achingly hard cock" as he put it

"How am I supposed to get off if I don't hear your pretty moans?" You tease

Damn

Peering around the wall, he unzips his pants and aims the camera at his hard cock. He catches the soft moan from his lips and his thumb rubbing precum along the shaft.

After a minute he stops recording and sends it your way. He hears your excited moan over the phone.

He grips himself harder.

"I wish you were here right now, inside me instead of my hand,"

That makes him stroke faster, your voice, the knowledge that he's doing this out in the cold night air spurring him on.

He feels his release getting closer, and he hears your responding moans.

"I'm gonna-"

"Oi, fearless!" Like the ass he is, raph comes around the corner.

Leo drops his phone in an attempt to cover himself. "Come on!" He yells.

Raph turns and yells, both to him and Donnie and Mikey. "I'm fucking done, I'm going home, fuck this!"

Donnie asks. "What happened?"

"He's fucking jerking it!" The red brute yells, making the other two start complaining.

"Whyd we even come out here?!"

"I had work to do that you made me put down!"

Leo scrambles on the ground, putting his hand over the microphone. "Patrols over, go home!" He simply yells

He sighs and tucks his own soft cock into his pants. He's upset and extremely embarrassed.

When he lifts the phone to his ear, he hears you laughing your ass off.

Raph

It was the weights room

He lives in there

And you, his new and flashy crush, are now also "living" in here

You claimed it was stupid to pay for a gym membership when you could simply hang out here

And because he's in love with you, he agreed

Now, he regrets it.

You're doing squats while holding a dumbell and the way your ass and thighs look right now should be illegal.

He's laying on the bench press, not even trying to be sneaky as he watches you go up....and down....and up.....and down

And now something else is up

Very up and not at all sneaky.

His head snaps to the ceiling, his hands shaking as he holds the bar above his head.

His heart is pounding hard. A lot like how hard he wants to pound you-

He shakes his head and the bar nearly comes crashing down on his face

"Raph!" You rush over and stand above his head, grabbing the bar around his fingers and lifting it (with his help)

And great, now he's got a view of the underside of your breasts, and the sweet sweaty skin of your bare stomach. Oh, and your delicious thighs are there too.

His cock pulses beneath his shorts.

"Are you okay?" You help him put the bar back, leaning over to look down at him.

Now he can see your cleavage.

"Um" He goes to answer but no words come out.

You sigh and straighten up, and your eyes rake down his body.

He tenses. Your eyes go wide and your cheeks flame.

Shit.

Donnie

Donnie was working under the truck

He's on a custom made rolling cart, his hips peeking out from under thr garbage truck.

He's got headphones on, listening to an audio book you recommended.

It's a romance and the characters just had their first kiss.

He's working and listening, not really paying attention.

"His lips traveled down her neck, making a spike of heat run down her body to her pussy"

Woah

He stopped working for a moment, swallowing hard and taking in what was happening.

The scene progressed and got dirtier and dirtier, to the point where he was aching and hard in his pants

It was late, no one was awake.

He rolled out from under the truck, wiped off his hands and undid his pants.

He tried to match the pace of the book, and man this person was doing a really good job on the voices

For a moment he imagined you and him fooling around like the characters were

His strokes became fast. Slick sounds filling the quiet garage

As the characters hit their peak, so did he, moaning softly and cumming in his hand, it spills down onto his chest and pants.

He sighs, opening his eyes and nearly passing out.

On the other side of the garage, your sitting with your hand in your pants, your lip caught between your teeth

Your eyes meet.

He removes the headphones, feeling hot and sweaty at your flushed cheeks

You smile, all seductive and it makes his cock twitch.

"Chapter 24?"

Hes up and rushing to you, fully intending on acting out the full Chapter.

Mikey

It's while you and him are making dinner

It's mundane and it smells almost as good as you do

You have a smile on your face as you try to remember what each brother likes and it makes his heart warm

He stirs the gravy and asks you to come try it.

He doesn't expect you to take his wrist and lead his spoon to your lips. Wrapping it around the silver and sucking the gravy off.

Now other things are warm

"Mmm!" You moan, licking your lips. "That's really good mike!"

Very warm

It stays that way until everyone is eating at the table

Mikey sees your eyes drift down his plastron as a drop of gravy falls off his bite of potatoes

Your breath catches as you notice the tent in his shorts

Everyone is busy taking and chatting about... oh he has no idea what anybody is talking about

Especially when you smirk and let your hand sneak under the table

You grip his thigh and he nearly cums in his pants from that

You scratch your way up his leg, griping him through his shorts and underwear

He shoves food in his mouth to keep from being too loud. Your hand feels amazing

It's a bit clumsy with the angle and clothes in the way, but he's still very much so getting off

He manages to keep himself quiet as he cums, staning his shorts. You shoot him another cheeky smile.

The hand that was griping him, moves the the table and "accidentally" knocks over a glass of water onto his lap

He gasps at the cold and everyone turns to look

"Oh, mike, I'm sorry! I'm so clumsy!" Your eyes flash with mischief

"It's fine, y/n," He touches your arm. "Come help me get some towels to clean this up,"

No towels were got, but a big mess was made.

@thelaundrybitch @leosgirl82 @turtle-babe83

[starry-bi-sky]

okay so i was thinking of a joke earlier about how in DPDC Amity Park's slogan "a great place to live" is not only city propaganda but also the city lording it over the rest of America for being normal. But then I remembered that, despite how many DCU Cities with heroes in it there are, the amount of cities in America without heroes still far outnumber the amount of cities in America WITH heroes.

So I did a little digging so the joke would still land. Something most heroes have in common is that they operate in major cities. What makes a major city? I found that the general consensus is that the population is roughly over or around a million. THEN I looked up the populations of cities in the DCU that I thought of off the top of my head. So Gotham, Metropolis, Starling City, Central City, Jump City. All of them ranked up to millions in population (most of them were in the tens of millions).

Amity Park's wikipedia describes it as being similar to specifically Philadelphia, Chicago, and San Francisco.

Philadelphia's Population: 1.576 million as of 2021 Chicago's Population: 2.697 million as of 2021 San Francisco: 815,201 as of 2021

Whiiich means that Amity Park if we take that from canon, is probably a major city. There are approximately 19,000 cities in America with probably less than a hundred that are major cities. Adding the DCU major cities wouldn't skew the data too much.

Which MEANS that I can make the joke that Amity Park's "great place to live" is not only just typical city propaganda, but also its Amity Park lording it over the other major cities for being one of the only major cities that doesn't have problems bad enough to warrant a superhero or a vigilante. Cue stage left the Fentons and Phantom :)

Amity Parkers were probably SO proud that they didn't need a superhero. They didn't have to worry about things like 'world ending threats' and 'super-powered individuals' and 'staggering property damage'. And then enter Fentons.

It also could be used as an excuse for why nobody took notice to Amity Park getting ghosts if folks like me aren't huge fans of the notion of a media blackout via Tucker, Technus, or the US Government. Or if you want to keep Amity Park as its urban city self. Amity Park's news on ghosts gets drowned out in a week because there's news on more popular, well-known cities going on every other day. The shit going on in Amity Park is every other major city's regular Tuesday and it gets filtered as such.