@steddieangstyaugust Day 31: "I'm not going to beg you to love me."
It's not the first time Eddie's been in love, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
He made the mistake of telling a boy once when he was younger, his nose is still a little crooked because of it. It doesn't stop him falling for the beautiful person that Steve Harrington has become.
He won't tell him though, wouldn't risk the friendship he cherishes so dearly over something so silly like the way his heart beats out of his chest when Steve just smiles at him. Steve is straight, he loves girls with soft cheeks and long lashes. Eddie is sharp and jagged compared to them, Steve could never want him.
It doesn't stop him dreaming though. He lets himself think how nice it would be if Steve shared his bed every night and not just when they've smoked too much weed. Tells himself it doesn't mean anything when Steve comes to every show, he's just being a good friend. Jokes around when Steve throws back the same amount of flirting, Steve is just affectionate.
He never expected Steve to kiss him.
For a moment he kissed back, too lost in the feeling to realise this wasn't a dream this was real and it would break his heart.
So he forces himself to push Steve away.
"Wait, Steve, stop."
There's a cute scrunch between Steve's eyebrows, "I'm sorry I should've asked first, did you not want me to kiss you, I just thought..."
Doesn't Steve understand, "No, Steve you don't want this, you can't want this, you're confused."
The confusion on Steve's face morphs into anger, "Confused? I'm not confused Eddie, I care about you, I like you, I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you!"
Eddie gets up from the couch, "No, you don't, you like girls, Steve, you love girls, you don't love me, this was a mistake."
Steve pinches his nose, a habit Eddie knows means Steve is trying not to cry, "I'm not going to beg you to love me." Steve moves towards the door grabbing his shoes and jacket. "You know I thought you were different, Robin let me believe you were different, that you weren't Nancy, that you weren't my parents. I thought you cared about me, that you loved me too. But I'm not going to stay and be told what my heart is or isn't feeling, Eddie."
Eddie thinks he can pinpoint the exact moment he realises how bad he fucked up, somewhere between different and loved he realises how mistake sounds just like bullshit.
It's too late though, Steve's car is already gone, and this is why he doesn't fall in love, no matter what he does he always fucks it up. He just hopes he can get Steve to forgive him before Robin breaks his nose again.
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Out of the Blue... Part 6
Sorry, not sorry. I just love this song!
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Please don't kill me! I just wanted people to now what song I was referencing!
this is the song their singing. I did the splicing and editing.
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