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#he just blames himself
silent-browser · 2 years
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Sooooo.... I continued it... But not really. Also I never continue things so fair warning if there is a drop in quality.
I was rewatching Scara's introduction and got to the point where he talked about the "Third Betrayal" and only JUST NOW realized that he doesn't understand death because he is a puppet and was probably still super young at that point and it usually takes normal human children a long time to come to terms and fully understand their mortality. He doesn't have to do that because he was originally built to last as long as possible. He had to be built that way to house a gnosis. And as a result death would have been a very hard concept to fully grasp.
Sure he understands that of you hurt someone enough they go down and possibly even stop breathing but they'll get up soon enough right? I mean how else would his enemies have so many people to fight for them if those still people didn't just get up and go back to what they were doing before? (Which was fighting him) He would probably need something big to force him to really understand death in a very short amount of time. (Hehehe)
Say perhaps if his precious Companion were to get injured for the first time in some random skirmish against hilichurls and he dismisses it. He's seen mortals leak the red before but he doesn't see it as any more than an annoyance when it gets on his clothes. His Companion insists on stopping to "clean up the wound" which he agrees to. That red stuff can really stain good clothing and other mortals look so weird and weary if you try to interact with them while still wearing the stains. And, even more importantly, such stains may get in the way if his future cuddle time.
After they are done fiddling with the wound and some random scraps of fabric they continue on but strangely enough his Companion doesn't seem to be doing as well as before. The injured body part seems weaker and is starting to become warm, sore and puffy. They have started to apply strange plant mixtures to the offending area, claiming that these poultices would help the injury "heal" though it seems to be doing the opposite. It was when they were about to leave the supposedly beautiful Qingce Village (he thought his companion looks 100× better than this random village of old people) that his Companion stumbled in their step before looking up at him and saying "please don't get mad" before dropping to the ground.
Scaramouche had never been so afraid. Not after being abandoned by his mother, not after loosing his friend, not after every hard fought battle and not even after loosing the gnosis he so craved. He watched their precious, delicate, achingly mortal body fall and screamed. He saw visions. Vivid as if he was right back to when they happened. Visions of soldiers felled by his blade, visions of Dottore's lab after he was done experimenting with delusions and the effects they had on mortal bodies and visions of the child he had once called friend laying still in that suffocating shack.
Near by villagers came rushing over to the small campsite that the two strange wanderers had insisted on setting up instead of staying in a guest house, to find a very distraught looking young man clutching on to his softer spoken companion as if they were his life line. Villagers quickly leapt to action and gently guided the young man to bring them to a cleaner space than the open air campsite and, with much coaxing and promises that he can remain by their side during the examination, to let go of them so that a local doctor can take a closer look at them.
When it is confirmed that the seemingly insignificant wound they had gotten from that hilichurl fight not to long ago was now infected and a much more serious problem than it once was Scara is devastated. How could this happen? Why did it happen? What does this mean for his Companion? What exactly is an infection? He almost holds this poor doctor hostage until he gets all of his questions answered and he understands the situation better. Once the poor doctor is release from the room and scara has a moment to think...
'Their injury is infected. They got injured in a fight. A fight that I obviously didn't protect them well enough in. Therefore they got injured because of me. That must be why they told me not to get mad. They knew that I failed to protect them. They knew and yet they still traveled with me. They don't want me to get mad.... At myself...'
He spends a lot of time stewing in that mental space. Thinking about things he could have done better in the fight. Thinking about all of the signs that something was wrong that he didn't notice. All of the winces when ever his hand brushed the injury when he want to hug or cuddle them. All of the herbal poultices used in vain to keep the infection at bay. All of the moments taken to rest that he misinterpreted as more head pat time for him. All of the selfish actions he took that might have made it worse. Thinking about what might have happened if they weren't anywhere near other people when they collapsed. Those thoughts scare him the most.
The only time he spends outside of his own head is when the local doctor comes by to redress and check on the wound. During that time he pays close attention to what the doctor is doing so that he could replicate it in the future, should he fail to protect them from another injury again. He gains a sudden interest in medicine after all of this.
After a week or two you are deemed healthy enough to travel once more, something scara is particularly excited about. Traveling will mean less of your attention is focused on other beings and a new chance to prove himself worthy of your praise and affections. A chance he will never take lightly ever again.
Scara becomes more protective after this experience. Insisting on looking you over after every single fight. Doesn't matter if you were even involved in the fight. Doesn't matter if his own limbs are hanging on by mere threads. Doesn't matter is some random guard or adventurer had gotten involved as well and were more obviously hurt. He is checking his Companion over for even the smallest scrape so that the ever looming threat of death could never claim you.
Not that he exactly had the right word for that feeling yet.
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"You and me, Ethan. Together we go save Rose, and then we can grind Miranda into paste!"
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frownyalfred · 8 months
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“Jason wouldn’t want you to do this, Bruce,” Clark says, trying to stop Bruce from doing something Jason would very much want him to do (kill the Joker, barehanded and slowly).
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aarghone · 1 year
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He's just a gunky goopy lil guy
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get shown affection IDIOT
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lucabyte · 1 month
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A belief in Nominative Determinsim
#mira & isa sitting at the other side of the room: oh that cannot be a healthy rationalisation. someone should deconstruct that QUICKLY...#change's strongest soldiers VERSUS one guy echo chambering themselves about a susperstition-based retributive model of the world. GO!!!#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#sloops#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#hey look now. this is softer than usual isnt it? ignore the. ignore the subtle damnation of blame unto the self. its fine. theyre fine#this is in fact a slight adaptation of that headcanon of mine i linked! yep! turns out the way to comic-ise it was to. make it like#90% speech bubble and get kinda weird with the formatting. it's clunky and experimental but hey. im experimenting.#the next ones gonna have even more fucking speech bubbles if it goes how im planning. christ#then its gonna get followed up with something wordless so. all things in perfect balance.#DISCLAIMER: i like to write loop and siffrin displaying the maybe not so great logic-holes their seeming fear of 'retribution for not#sticking to (the script) what the universe intends for them' entails. i do not agree with their weird philosophising.#i in fact think this is . bad for them. and am exploring how fucking unhealthy their mindset seems to be even when 'mundane'#OCD siffrin real as hell whats with the doing arbitrary actions in specific ways lest Something Nebulously Bad Happen little dude?#anyway if you caught the extremely blunt symbolism of kissing a hand with a knife in it you win a prize! it's called self-satisfaction 🎉🎉#hmm. do people realise i kept calling this type of back and forth between siffrin and loop a socratic dialogue bc socrates was also just#arguing with himself? like he was just making up the other guys. complete thought experiment. i also call them that because theyre WORDY!!!
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grandwretch · 8 months
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i so badly want one of those fic examinations of steve's relationship with joyce and hopper but solely through eddie's pov like hear me out
steve and eddie chat a lot in the upside down (and later in the hospital, when they learn hop is alive). steve has taken charge of filling eddie in on the rest of their of-age crew without the kids butting in. he never mentions his own parents, but he talks about the rest of the party's a lot, especially joyce and hopper. eddie knows what it's like to desperately want someone to be your parent and trying to hide it from his own childhood, when he would try to be cool about wayne dropping him off at his dad's house. steve obviously adores joyce and hopper, thinks the world of them and legitimately looks up to them.
eddie isn't sure what he expects from a cop who came back to life and the world's most determined housewife, but he's excited to meet them as someone steve loves.
cue eddie's horror when he realizes that neither of them really feel much for steve rather than annoyance and vague distrust. that joyce trusts will with eddie, an accused murderer, in a heartbeat and still hesitates to leave him with steve. that hopper brushes off every ounce of steve's hero worship and joy.
he tries to broach the topic with steve, gently, and is heartbroken when steve genuinely has no idea what he's talking about. and not because he's oblivious, but because steve thinks that's what he deserves. he thinks that's the parental love that someone who was an asshole in high school needs, because that's what would make him a good person. he needs people to call him out constantly, obviously, because why else would they keep doing it? why would nancy? at least they're here. at least they're not ignoring him. at least they're not forcing him into a box. they just want him to be better.
like, this is the man who thanked a girl for calling him bullshit and telling him she never loved him. he doesn't Know that's not how you're supposed to handle things. no one ever taught him that.
and now eddie's gotta figure out how he can teach steve how to be loved the right way without outing himself and his huge crush on his love-starved dork of a friend.
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ghostbsuter · 11 months
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Magicians way [part 1]
.・゜-: ✧ :-
It's not often that he finds himself in such position, but it does happen.
John Constantine never would have thought he'd scratch the "tied up by a cult to be used as sacrifice to summon a powerful ghost" spot on his bingo card.
He doesn't even feel threatened by the cult, hell, all he will receive from this day is pure embarrassment if the summoning circle is really the one he thinks it is.
Great, it's glowing.
Little bastard knows and is on his way here.
Shit.
"Oh all mighty King of Ghosts! We summon thee! Appear!"
If he has to listen to that badly scripted American movie summoning ritual one more word, he's gonna do some serious damage.
The circle lights up in sickly green, the ectoplasm flooding the insides of the portal as it opens.
And there he stands, the boyprince of the Infinity Realms.
"Hey, dad!" The being greets, swinging a swift fist against one of the cultist.
The rest are frozen and now that they're alone John sees the shit eating grin on the gremlins face.
"Danny." He greets back, watching as his kid swipes some invisible dust from his hat and putting it on back.
"Man, this is so embarrassing for you. Let me just—"
To make matters worse, Danny pulls out his bloody smartphone and takes a picture of him tied up.
"I'm sending this to mom." He's fiddling with the rope, smug smirk on him that John would love to flip off if his hands weren't bound.
"Useless..."
Ah, here comes the blackmail. A kids after his own heart.
The little shit.
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Visual picture of Constantine being embarrassed. (Yes, he's tied up with a RED RIBBON for funnsies.)
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cleromancy · 4 months
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the fact that tim was protective of dick from literally day one makes me feel so crazy. that night at the circus this little toddler had to be restrained from leaping out of his seat to try and save dick from batman until he realized batman was there to help. on his very first outing in the robin costume, hes frantically going through the rubble thinking "i encouraged dick to come back, if anything happened to him bc of me--" and like he does not ever stop being protective of dick. like. this does not change. like he finds out dick and helena had a thing and more or less tells dick hes too sensitive for her like... 😭 timothy. timothy!!!!
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turtleblogatlast · 6 months
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Every day I’m haunted by the fact the boys happily swim in sewer water
Even if it’s filtered somehow there’s no way it’s not still nasty 😭 Bet they can defeat any of their villains just by accidentally giving them diseases I swear
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#bless their hearts but they’re nasty#it’s funny because like#each and every one of them has moments#where they’re a typical disgusting teenage boy#and then the next they have STANDARDS#can’t blame Leo for being so determined to go to a spa#even if he nearly licked his own foot that’s prob cleaner than anything else the boys have been up to in years 💀#thank you shelldon for all your hard work cleaning after then 🙏#they’re all gross teenage boys!!!#even Donnie he is NO exception here#bro was DRINKING A BEVERAGE while wading through sewer water he is just as gross as his bros#bro also talks with his mouth full he is no more refined than his equally gross bros fr and I love it#but yeah no way that water isn’t disgusting even filtering it would still leave grime on the walls of the sewer for yearsss#pros of them moving into an abandoned subway system is fixing their sense of smell enough to not be as gross#100% that’s part of why they didn’t mind being so filthy pre shelldon#because I mean they were literally raised in the sewers and they’re teenage boys like that’s a double whammy#THEY ALSO DONT WEAR SHOES#the few times any of them do the shoes are discarded before heading home 💀#I love them tho they are endearing anyhow#April’s immune system must be godlike just being around them fr#honestly no joke Mikey’s probably the cleanest of them all#just by virtue of being a chef#Leo I see as a mixture since he no doubt loves to pamper himself so he’s clean like#a percentage of time before he goes out and ruins his own hard work#Donnie is similar in that he’s just VERY SELECTIVE about what he thinks is too gross#Raph may be more on the stinky end but it’s not his fault he has his stinks and eats things of dubious origin(esp since his bros ate poison)#Donnie and Leo really have the gall to be sick about Raph eating the origami salami but they have no room to talk#all their villains are prob like please stay away from us we have salmonella now
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cubbihue · 7 days
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What does Timmy think of his little brother Peri growing up to have a neurotic personality?
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Peri's always had severe anxiety. It sorta comes with being the first baby born in a 1000 years and constantly being kidnapped by everyone around you.
Timmy's just glad Peri grew up to be more confident in himself, and more assertive.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
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carouselunique · 5 months
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They had a bit of a chance encounter on a day where Blueblood was dealing with something that was very difficult and was so caught up in his emotions he didn’t even care that he was in the garden getting grass stans on his coat and Ditzy, with her natural impulse to cheer ponies up, didn’t even notice or care that she was flying into the palace gardens when she saw someone sat in the rain.
At first he was definitely going to call the castle guards to come apprehend this strange filly with the odd eyes who was intruding when this was the last moment he’d want to entertain any desperate debutantes, however she surprised him by not fawning or anything, not even caring about his status, just putting one of her fluffy wings up and asking if he needed somepony to lend an ear.
“Don’t let my eyes fool you, my ears work just fine!”
She was incredibly disarming and while he didn’t reveal everything about why he was upset, he found himself talking about his feelings to her. And she made such cheerful remarks, and was very comforting. In the end, he felt better and she came to check on him the next day, even sharing a blueberry muffin with him. He remarked that he’d never seen her around before, and that he wouldn’t mind terribly seeing her more often.
The rest, as they say, is history.
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beanghostprincess · 9 months
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I understand Garp, I truly do. But personally if my grandson were about to be executed just for existing after years of asking himself if he deserves to live, idk, I think I would've gone on a fucking rampage and had killed everybody
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delihar · 13 days
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If I see one more person genuinely saying that Mephone is actually a child because of the new episode I swear to god they will never find the bodies.
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zivazivc · 4 months
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my brainrot about these two can be measured in liters
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I will never recover from the knowledge that thymoma generally has a very high survival rate, and in most cases that it becomes fatal, the patient has unknowingly lived with the cancer for years. There's a chance that Wilson was sick for half the series and didn't even know it.
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