OC Smash or Pass
Thank you @writernopal for tagging me over here!
Rules: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc)
No pressure tag for @bardicbeetle @outpost51 @afoolandathief and anyone else who wants to do it!
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I'm gonna do Rujav because I'm curious to see if anyone will actually choose smash XD
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Rujav Kontemo
Quick Facts
Height: 8 ft 5
Gender: Cis Male
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexuality: Gay
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Pros
powerful in both name and actual powers
LOVES being told what to do in bed. your pleasure = his pleasure.
will buy you anything you ask for. you'll never want for anything with him.
surprisingly loyal and will do anything he can to protect you.
will melt at any compliment that you give him
will destroy anyone who hurts you.
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Cons
unable to handle extreme emotions (both his own and other peoples), especially crying. don't cry on him.
very hard to break down his walls.
accidentally creates a lot of snow (literally)
very bad at parenting
refuses to deal with his past trauma surrounding his father
legally cannot acknowledge your relationship in public
needs to be reassured about his appearance a LOT. he's not coping well with aging.
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Alfred has a relative???
Recently, Alfred had received a letter from a 'relative' of his for reasons unknown to the batfam. Alfred seemed happy about it so none of them minded too much, even when the butler said that said relative would be visiting since they hadn't been able to see each other in many years.
A few days later there is a knock on the manor's door and one of the batkids opens it to see this young adult dressed in modern yet formal attire asking if Alfred lives there.
They assume that the man is a cousin or something similar of Alfred's, until the man all but squeals like a banshee at the sight of the butler and beelines for him before doting on him.
None of them were prepared for the young adult- if he even is one at this point- to call Alfred "his boy" and for Alfred to refer to him as "father/papa".
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*knock on the door*
Tim: *opens door* hello?
Danny: Hi, does Alfred Pennyworth live/work here?
Tim: Yes??? Why do you ask?
Danny: Well you see-
Alfred: Young master Tim, who might be at the door?
Danny: *Squeals* My little Alfie!!
Tim, watching Danny rush over to Alfred and start pinching his cheeks: what the-
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your little angel of a son inherits katsuki's bad temper, and it manifests in his terrible fours.
there's an awful little shriek that echoes throughout the house and katsuki is on his feet and halfway to the living room before his eyes are even open—but the only danger awaiting him there is a pouty little brat.
his son is sitting amidst a swarm of toys that have been strewn about haphazardly, and his arms are crossed and big fat tears are in his eyes and he looks mad as all hell. you do, too, sitting across from him with a deep frown, holding the ripped page of a book from his little shelf.
"no sir," you warn, "we do not treat our things this way."
you incite a meltdown.
katsuki feels his own temper flaring—half from shock and awe at his little mini-me and also from the exhaustion wearing him thin—when your son kicks his legs out in a burst of rage, letting out another little shriek of anger. your cheeks puff up, wearing the same furious expression, and at the hiss of his name, the little brat jumps to his feet and snatches a toy truck nearby and launches it across the room.
"oi!"
your son's attention snaps to katsuki, startled, losing a hint of anger as he pouts at the floor.
"what'd she just tell you?" and when he gets no response, katsuki prods with a, "hah? answer me."
but the little boy only stamps his little feet and grunts out a furious, wordless sound that has katsuki's lip curling. you let out a heavy sigh, shaking your head at him before frowning down at the torn page in your hands, and then katsuki is planting a hand on the back of his son's head and steering him towards the front door.
"time to take a walk."
the boy goes, even though his arms are crossed and his eyes are downcast. he only resists once, as katsuki tries to shove his little feet into his shoes.
"i don't wanna." he mumbles, face scrunched and wet before promptly looking away.
"i didn't ask."
"hmm!"
katsuki has to resist the urge to pinch his own son.
they get out the door eventually, and the little boy stomps along for the most part, no longer needing a guiding hand on the back of his head once they get around the block a time or two. neither of them say anything.
fatherhood has taught katsuki a lot of things, which was expected, but the one thing that's surprised him is—he's learned all the things he doesn't want his son to be.
the first of them being angry. not the way katsuki was, mean and selfish, throughout his childhood; hateful and careless, in his teens; shut off and simmering, even now.
he waits until the tension has melted off his little shoulders, until his little face has dried and evened out. his arms swing at his sides, occasionally coming up to wipe his snot with the back of his hand, and he eyes the few wildflowers they pass with a little hum and a small smile.
katsuki tugs once on his ear, frowning down at the little brat when he peeks up at him. "that how you're supposed to treat your mama?"
he doesn't answer at first, leaning his head all the way back and clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, until katsuki stops walking. "no, sir."
"how you s'posed to treat her?"
"with love."
"how you s'posed to treat your toys?"
"with care."
"uh-huh," katsuki squishes his son's cheeks in his hand, shaking his head lightly from side to side until he starts giggling. "that how you acted today?"
"no, sir."
"that how y'r gonna act again?"
"no, sir."
"okay," katsuki murmurs, nodding once before letting him free. the little boy bounces on his feet and sucks on his lip, grinning when his tummy is pinched. "now pick those for your mama."
and he does, carefully plucking a small handful of flowers from the grass as they make their way back home, and just before he runs up the steps to the house, katsuki's little angel of a son hands him the biggest one.
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Prompt 345
Let it be known that none of them actually expected the idiots’ of the week’s ritual to work. The summoning hadn’t worked for literal centuries- everyone knew it had been sealed away, presumably forever!
(Of course they had no way to know that in the Infinite Realms actually used the term forever as a measurement of time, what with how time itself wasn’t particularly linear within. And to beings that could hypothetically live for eternity? Forever was a nice vacation time really)
So maybe they hadn’t been exactly focused on stopping the ritual as much as they could of been, and by the time they realized it was working, well, it’d been a bit too late then. So yes, mistakes had perhaps in fact, been made.
First had come the chill, the cold of the ground as your body was lowered down, the cold of your blood dripping from your living corpse. Then came the shadows, the darkness creeping along their vision as their soul slipped from their body. Followed by boiling heat, flames scorching through their flesh and tearing from their chests like a blade piercing their hearts.
The form that emerged was massive, a cloak dripping crimson fluttering in the wind of an unseen battlefield, verdant flames licking at the air and causing the surrounding shadows to writhe. A dark growl echoed through the building, the stone below them shaking while deathly green eyes glowered down at the living with utter contempt.
“Do any of you imbeciles know how long it takes to get ghostlings to sleep-”
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Thinking about Black Widow Luo Binghe.
Hear me out -- so just like in canon, Shen Qingqiu self-destructs to save Luo Binghe, dies, and Luo Binghe steals his body to put on ice while he looks for methods to resurrect him. But unlike in canon, staving off decomposition is simply not that doable for a matter of years, even with cultivation and Luo Binghe pouring qi into the process. The qi costs are still high, so is Xin Mo, and now Binghe also needs a special artifact that can actually preserve Shen Qingqiu, but that runs on blood sacrifices.
To get the thing working, Luo Binghe feeds it a bunch of prisoners from the Water Prison. Then he starts kidnapping cultivators to drain for his own qi reserves, but that's difficult, controversial, and he can't use the same victims for the blood sacrifice afterwards. Frankly, between one thing and another it would be easier to satisfy Xin Mo with dual cultivation, and focus on finding victims for Shizun's Snow White style glass preservation coffin without having to choose between using targets for one or the other. Especially given that, if he finesses it, Luo Binghe can extend the use of his sacrifices and get more out of them with fewer deaths that way.
He's pretty sure that Shizun would want fewer deaths.
Of course, he is not a fan of the logistics of the plan itself, but he'd do worse things to one day be reunited. He consoles himself that he's building up bedroom experience for one day being with Shen Qingqiu, and that it doesn't really count because his heart's not really in it, and also if Shizun got to spend all that time in brothels then it's only fitting that Luo Binghe be his equal in this as well. It still doesn't make it pleasant for him, but it makes him able to tolerate the necessity of it.
So Luo Binghe ends up marrying a string of rich and powerful figures -- mostly the villainous single fathers and mothers and evil uncles of harem members from PIDW, rather than their daughters -- and coming up with creative ways of making all their deaths a few months into the process look like accidents. After the third one people are undeniably wary of marrying him, but there's always someone with a big enough ego to think they'll be an exception, or stupid enough to believe that it really has just been so much bad luck up to that point. It helps that the universe is predisposed to let him hit it.
When SY wakes up in the shroom body and hears about Luo Binghe's succession of marriages, he's not surprised. What he is surprised by is the bisexual graveyard of toxic dilfs and milfs that has replaced the harem.
What did he do to cause that?!
And what does Luo Binghe mean that he wants to marry his own shizun now? Is this his new method of revenge??? Binghe, you don't have to marry someone to kill them!
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Eddie, posting to Tiktok: Raise your hand if you and your husband had a long discussion about not needing to do renovations to your kitchen every time you’re bored and you both agree that it’s too soon to get new cabinets only for him to get new cabinets anyways. Raise your hand if you’ve ever done that?
Steve: Oh ho ho, Daddy Warbucks, why don’t you tell everybody that your cheap ass has so much money that you didn’t even notice thirty thousand dollars come out of your bank account?
Eddie: You spent thirty thousand dollars on cabinets?
Steve: No…. I spent twenty thousand.
Eddie, accepting facts: When did you even have them installed?
Steve: When your ‘long weekend in Los Angeles’ turned into two weeks
Eddie:
Eddie: Call me daddy again
Steve: No
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