#the batfam are very confused

[voidlesscreator]

Alfred has a relative???

Recently, Alfred had received a letter from a 'relative' of his for reasons unknown to the batfam. Alfred seemed happy about it so none of them minded too much, even when the butler said that said relative would be visiting since they hadn't been able to see each other in many years.

A few days later there is a knock on the manor's door and one of the batkids opens it to see this young adult dressed in modern yet formal attire asking if Alfred lives there.

They assume that the man is a cousin or something similar of Alfred's, until the man all but squeals like a banshee at the sight of the butler and beelines for him before doting on him.

None of them were prepared for the young adult- if he even is one at this point- to call Alfred "his boy" and for Alfred to refer to him as "father/papa".

-----

*knock on the door*

Tim: *opens door* hello?

Danny: Hi, does Alfred Pennyworth live/work here?

Tim: Yes??? Why do you ask?

Danny: Well you see-

Alfred: Young master Tim, who might be at the door?

Danny: *Squeals* My little Alfie!!

Tim, watching Danny rush over to Alfred and start pinching his cheeks: what the-

[alexanderender101]

DcxDp prompt

based on a mix of "TWINcognito mode" on ao3 and the "mad scientist fenton" au and some other clone promt i can't remember the name of (2 for 1 or something)

so essentially ra's makes a clone of tim with his spleen (because he's a creep) and dunked it in the lazarus pits because something, readers choice. But something went wrong, like really wrong and now not only does said clone (now danny) have some eldritch soul

But because of the pits, his memories (both from tim and danny) are so mingled and messy that he can't tell the two sets of memories apart from one another.

So with his mixed up mind danny runs away from ra's and vanishes from the league of assassins radar.

On another note multiple heros/vigilantes have this mad scientist teen running around calling himself fenton

(Danny only has vague memories from both himself and tim as well as a bunch of random information, but he can't tell the memories apart from each other, also I'd like to imagine that because he has such vague memories he ends up creating Android/robot versions of like sam, tucker, jazz and such)

and here are the references for this prompt

[glitter-stained]

Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?

Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.

Goon: Huh.

***

Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?

Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...

Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.

***

Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...

Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?

Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.

Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.

***

And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Riddler: Riddle me this boy-

Riddler: Batman?

Batman!Dick: Yes?

Riddler: Who the fuck is this?

Batman!Dick: This is Robin.

Riddler: Obviously. But he’s different. He’s all scowly. Where’s the fun one, who likes my riddles?

Batman!Dick: He’s taking some PTO. Can we get on with this?

Riddler: No.

Batman!Dick: What? Why not!

Riddler: Well I would but it wouldn’t be very fair. See the riddles I had for tonight were kind of specific to a couple of past games me and the other one had done.

Batman!Dick: What you never did that for me when I was Robin-

Riddler: Yes well it just wasn’t as fun with you.

Batman!Dick: So what, are you going to just let the hostages go?

Riddler: Well I guess. I’ll have to come up with something different, we can reschedule.

Batman!Dick: So what, do we just take you back to Arkham or-

Riddler: *shrugs* That’s fine. I’ll just table this one for when he gets back.

[dragonpyre]

Ok but au where Jason had vitiligo or poliosis since he was a kid and always had the white hair streak but just dyed it when he was with Bruce so as to not give away Robins identity. Stops doing that after he died cuz there wasn’t really a point. Somehow the rest of the family (minus Bruce) didn’t even KNOW he has poliosis/vitiligo and just assumes it’s a death thing

This leads to many confusing conversations

[puppetmaster13u]

You know what I need more of? The Batkids completely fucking with the Justice League and their rogues and coming up with stories for their existence.

Like I am talking about the creation of demigods sort of stories, like Loki sort of stories.

Duke has convinced all of Gotham that he's the Bat Signal brought to life and that's why he's never seen at night and why the signal literally doesn't work during the day. He's waiting giddily for the story to spread outside of the city.

The batkids have convinced half the League that Nightwing is quite literally Batman's lovechild with Justice. Hey, Constantine had a one night stand with the manifestation of a city and they've dealt with gods before, so surely it's not that surprising? Right???

I need more of the Batkids being little shits, of Alfred the-greatest-enabler Pennyworth backing them up and Bat(the-biggest-troll)man to never confirm the stories, but he doesn't deny them either.

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Tim is the first to find out the Red Hood’s identity and from then on sticks to Jason during patrol like glue (much to Jason’s chagrin, dammit, it would feel wrong to beat up Robin when he’s that starry eyed…)

Cue: PANIC from the rest of the Batfamily, who still think Hood is a forty-something year old crime lord and now assume they’re dating.

[allthegothihopgirls]

when the batboys (as civilians) have to speak to authorities about situations, they're all pretty accustomed to having to lie to keep their vigilante identities a secret. so they'll fabricate why they were in a certain place at a certain time, how they landed in a situation, or how they sustained different injuries.

they were all properly trained on giving false accounts to protect themselves, whilst still giving ie: police the important crime details, or doctors the relevant medical info. and it's just one of The Things they all do and don't really think twice about.

then damian comes along. constantly going "to say that is how i ended up there would be simply belittling to my character" or "that's absurd. no one will believe that. why can't i just tell them what actually happened?" and no amount of explaining will help him understand why.

there is a lot of subtle nudges and whispers of "damian, just do it for god's sake", because he finds the absolute worst times to question their strategies too.

[jellyjays]

i am Thinking about danny being the Original and one of the batboys being a clone.

imagine. someone wanted to clone the Drakes' soon to be born son to use as ransom later on- only to accidentally switch the newborn baby with the baby clone. Danny was supposed to be Tim Drake. Tim was supposed to be a money-making scam. The drakes always wondered why Timmy grew up so fast...

and imagine, if you will: Danny is rescued unwittingly by the fentons, who raise him as their own. when Danny is 10, the Fentons explain what happened- according to the people the Fentons beat to get him, Danny is really a Drake by birth, and his clone is living the life he would've had. Danny, for his part, doesn't really care.

Danny visits Gotham sometime for a science fair and lo and behold, Tim Drake is there.

Tim pulls Danny aside to accuse him of being a clone. Danny bursts out laughing. Tim is confused.

Shenanigans ensue.

I will write more if it's requested. i think this is hilarious

[arrowmaker15]

(Bruce looking in-between Tim and Jason)

Bruce: Which one of you thought that faking a fight, a very public one, and using real blood to help, was a good idea?

Tim: *points at Jason*

Jason: *points at Tim*

Bruce: Both of you?

Tim: Jason brought it up first and I gave more ideas to make it better.

Jason: That's true.

[sammygrimoire]

Everyone felt confused as the glow of the summoning circle finally died down, the League had managed to subdue the cultists too late and now...

Wait, who and what were the cultists trying to summon?

Constantine stared at the ghost? bride?? That appeared over the summoning circle, looking confused and tired. The lead cultist had clearly screamed about summoning the Ghost king... wait, this dumbasses didn't accidentally managed to summon its bride did they???

Oh no, oh nononononono--

Danny just want a nap after a whole week of doing paperwork.

[arrowheadedbitch]

Tim: Everyone dies, but some never die in the way that matters

Everyone else: What the fuck is happening

[chaoswarfare]

dp x dc prompt #17

Batman and Bruce Wayne are two separate people, Batman is just a ghost that Bruce picked up and befriended on his travels with a protection obsession who was incredibly lonely. Batman was perfectly happy to follow Bruce home for companionship, and Bruce let himself be possessed at night to protect the city. eventually they were practically inseparable.

Now the GIW has been prowling around Gotham and snatching any spirits they can catch, Jason has already been shot at once, and several other of his(their) kids have been chased down due to being death-touched. Now Batman is missing and it’s up to civilian Bruce Wayne, the Bat Clan, and a friendly midwestern Phantom to track down the GIW and free their friends.

[swugflower]

So Supes and Bats are dating and Damian is less than pleased about it.

Until someone jokingly talks about how it’s Supermans thing to safe kitties out of trees. The joke goes straight above Damian’s head of course.

Next thing you know, Damian is cornering Clark and demands to be taken with him next time he goes out on cat saving adventures.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 109

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck-” Tim chanted to himself, looking down at his cup of tea in betrayal. Was he hallucinating, had he been drugged with something? He had slept last night! 

Yet there in their own Lazarus Pit, the one in the cave not the giant one somewhere under the rest of Gotham, was a literal baby, looking just as surprised as he was. Of course that didn’t last, and its face scrunched up as it started to cry, which was his first hint that no, this was not in fact a hallucination. 

 There was a pit baby in the Lazarus pool. 

. . .

 There was a pit baby in the Lazarus pool. 

OH FUCK, there was a pit baby in the freaking Lazarus pool- 

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Damian, who has just lost the last member of his family, goes off the deep end and, in a fit of violent rage, goes tumbling through a portal and back in time.

Jason doesn’t know how the scary guy with the gunshot wound became his problem but he’s not heartless enough to leave him to bleed out beside some dumpster in Crime Alley.