#he probably presents very androgynously

[julescarstairs]

Given that all the stories are true in the TSC universe, it implies that Cupid exists somewhere??? And honestly my take on Cupid in this universe is that he is most definitely NOT an Angel or a god, but a Faerie who uses his bow to trick people into falling in love with each other. He’s probably incapable of falling in love himself?? But has a certain charm about him that magically compels anyone who gets too close to him to fall in love with him??

All I’m saying is the guy is an absolute menace. An absolutely stunning yet menacing slice of faerie nobility

[mirai-e-jump]

TV Life, 8/2/2024 Issue (No.15) ft. Kamen Rider Gotchard Cast Members (translation below)

Publication: July 17, 2024

The film version for the currently airing "Kamen Rider Gotchard" will finally release in theaters! We heard alot from the six main cast members on the highlights of the film and each other's future!

"What were your thoughts after reading the script?"

Motojima: I was very excited, as it felt like a side story to Kamen Rider Gotchard. In this film, the process of how past Houtaro became Kamen Rider Gotchard Daybreak is carefully depicted, so please pay attention to it.

Matsumoto: It was so moving, that tears would start flowing every time I read the script. I did my best to convey those emotions into my performance so that those who watch feel the same way.

Fujibayashi: When I first read it I thought, "Huh? Is Spanner even here?!" (laughs), but as I kept reading, it wasn't like that at all. In this film, I play a double role, which I think doubled the highlights, and personally, I felt a great sense of accomplishment after filming.

Abe: As it's a story that goes back and forth between the past and future, I found some parts to be alittle difficult to follow. However, as Reiyo-chan said, there are many scenes that moved me and gave off an intense feeling that only a film can give.

Tomizono: I also want to see this film on the big screen in theaters. I think one of the highlights is seeing how the characters who also appear in the TV series will affect the future in which the film takes place.

Kumaki: That's for sure. Those of you who have seen the TV series will recognize some things that'll make you think, "That thing from back then!," and I'm sure that you'll enjoy the film while reflecting on these various things.

"This time, DAIGO-san will make a guest appearance as "future Houtaro," who transforms into Kamen Rider Gotchard Daybreak."

Motojima: I was nervous before we even appeared together, but he was very kind to me. I could feel how much he cared about the character of Ichinose Houtaro. I was really happy that we were able to create this one role together.

Matsumoto: While they play the same Houtaro character, his personality and way of thinking are slightly different in the present and future. As Rinne, I was saddened at times by these differences, but I was able to empathize with him because I got to see Motojima-san and DAIGO-san's passionate performance up close. The two of them inspired me, and it also made me want to work harder, so I'm very grateful.

Fujibayashi: Ah! Junsei looks embarrassed!

Motojima: I didn't know you thought that way…that makes me happy!

"Now then, the theme of this film is related to the future. Please make a prediction about each other's futures."

Abe: I think that Kumaki-san will appear in a period drama.

(everyone but Abe & Kumaki): Oh~!

Abe: He's got a stern face, and I feel that a kimono would look good on him.

Kumaki: Oto-chan is both an actress and model, and her expressiveness is powerful, so I believe that she'll eventually become a top actress. With how sexy she is, it's hard to believe she's only in her early 20s, and I think she'll become an even more attractive actress as she gets older.

Fujibayashi: Well then, I'll talk about Rikiya. Even now, I think Rikiya has an androgynous aura to him, and I actually think that's precisely his strong point. That's why I hope he'll challenge himself to continue moving forward as he is now and become a one of a kind actor.

Tomizono: That makes me happy. I'm gonna make a big assumption that Yasu will continue to be an actor, and that he'll probably be traveling around the world (laughs).

(everyone but Tomizono & Fujibayashi): We can see that happening!

Tomizono: I think he's the type of person who always wants to try new things, so regardless of the country or location, he should be a globally active actor.

Motojima: I think that Reiyo-chan's crying performance is appealing. Her smile is cute, but her worried facial expression is also wonderful, so I'd like to see her play a two sided role that evokes the positive and negative of her character.

Matsumoto: When we were filming the scene where I become possessed by Zukyumpire, I thought about how Motojima-san would also be a good fit for 2.5D productions and roles, so I definitely want to see you challenge yourself to them!

Motojima: I might give it a try. I look forward to all of our futures!

[erisweekofficial]

To close out the weekend we have the fabulous @dee-writes-smut. She writes for many characters, but be sure to check out all her Eris x Reader fics! We're not biased at all! 😉

Need a place to start? We suggest the Flowers Series! 🌺🌼🌹

Under the cut, we learn more about her process for writing about Eris as well as a perfect birthday gift for our favorite autumn court heir 🔥

What inspired you to start writing for Eris x Reader instead of any other pairing for him?

I have always enjoyed writing x reader fics because it’s a way to allow my audience to connect to my beloved characters as well. I also enjoy looking through the eye of an androgynous main character.

What are some challenges you've faced while creating Eris content?

Something I’m worried about a lot when I post Eris content is not staying true to the original nature of the character. We see Eris some in the ACOTAR series, but there isn’t a whole lot of character analysis on him through the books. As a side character we don’t see as much interaction or deep character development which can make it hard to stay true to the characters personality when it’s not shown as much as others. The same could even be said for Azriel who, while being apart of the IC, doesn’t have much character development and personality as the characters (ie Nesta, Feyre, Rhys, Cassian, etc) Sarah is trying to highlight.

How do you interpret Eris’s relationship with his mother? How would you describe it?

I like to headcannon Eris as being very protective over his family. But it’s hard to make any educated judgements because of what I mentioned before about character personality exploration. However, if we’re talking about personal opinions, I think that Eris will protect his mother and brothers at all costs, but he also seems the type of character willing to sacrifice a lot of how his family interprets him. For example, his relationship with Lucien. In his youngest brother’s mind he’s looked at as a traitor, but in reality I believe that Eris was trying to help in his own way during the Jesminda event. Driving Lucien out of the court was a way of protecting him rather than mindlessly obeying his father’s orders. I would hope that Lady Autumn would recognize this and show her son gratitude and pride in his actions.

What present would you give Eris’s for his birthday?

I would probably gift him some peace if I could. From canon to personal evaluation, Eris seems very similar to Loki in the way that he hides his pain with his sharp tongue. So, if I were to be able to gift him anything, it would be that, or simply company that doesn’t judge him for his sucky family.

[pr0cyon-lotor]

Random trans ftm ragbros hcs I have/like

Diluc was very androgynous as a kid

Crepus didn't care as long as his kid was happy. YOU COULD NOT TELL! Diluc would wear a dress and be completely covered in dirt one day and wear a clean button up the next. You asked him if he was a boy or a girl and he would probably not even answer because he already ran off. In his teen years is when he started staying in the masc aesthetic

Kaeya was traditionally fem as a kid

When Kaeya first came in, he was the picture perfect little princess. Due to Diluc's influence he started getting comfortable with presenting more masc. When he came out to Crepus, he was immediately fitted for suits and other clothes.

Crepus let them have hormone treatment

He just wants his kids happy man. He'd burn a village for them

Diluc is the bigger bitch about his period

He would complain more passively, but he would complain MORE than Kaeya. He's definitely more grouchy than Kaeya. Kaeya is the "eating chocolate and drinking wine while listening to Mitski" period haver than Diluc's "Y'know maybe a blood sacrifice with deal with the pain" period haver (me too tho)

Kaeya had top surgery first

As soon as he could, he bolted to the surgeons. Diluc didn't do it as hastely because he didn't mind binders as much.

Keaya would call his period a "boy period"

Literally for no other reason other than to go "Sorry, I'm just on my boy period 😔" because he thinks it's funny. (He's right)

Their manners fluctuate between traditionally fem and masc a lot b/c they're used to both

They're both AFAB, so yeah, they were taught traditionally feminine etiquette once. But as soon as both came out to Crepus he changed their classes to mens etiquette. Because do you truly believe Crepus and Adelinde would let them out in the world without proper etiquette? So yeah, both sometimes catch themselves in the middle of a curtsey and have to either play it off or commit.

Diluc used to make up BS reasons why he didn't have a dick and it influenced Kaeya's sense of humor

Diluc still does but very sparingly. As a teenager though! "I lost my dick privileges 😔" "Idk it fell off one day 🤷" "The gods feared what I'd become with a natural sword 🫤" Kaeya's sense of humor has been permanently tanked because of it. He does it as well more recently, but he will still ugly laugh if Diluc slips a joke in randomly.

[dresshistorynerd]

I had the idea of writing about some historical queer figures I find interesting and drawing them for this pride month as a little project of mine. I will see how many I'll have time to do, I have in mind at least four other historical people, but knowing myself, I'm not holding my breath for all of them. Julie d'Aubigny she been one of my favorite historical figures for years so I decided to start with her.

Historical Queer Figures - Julie d'Aubigny

Julie d'Aubigny, also known as Mademoiselle Maupin and La Maupin, was a French opera singer and fencer in the late 1600s. She was infamous for having sapphic relationships, being aggressive and dramatic, having androgynous presentation by occasionally dressing in men's clothing in public and being a fencer and duelist. Trans and genderqueer readings of her are very possible, but because none of the accounts of her (at least those I've read) suggests she ever used any other than feminine first names or terms or she/her pronouns about herself, I will use she/her pronouns when talking about her.

The French court absolutely loved to gossip and people were constantly making up libel about the people they didn't like, and Julie had a lot of enemies and was very controversial figure. During the 18th and 19th centuries she was written about a lot in these highly sensationalized Encyclopedias, where the rumors from her lifetime got increasingly wilder and sensational. She was accused for example of seducing noble women in court balls, burning down a convent and murder. There's not much primary sources left or available from her actual lifetime so distinguishing truth from fiction is not an easy task in her case. Kaz Rowe did great job in their youtube video about her to try to actually find out where the stories of her life comes from. They go through some great context too about the rumor industry in the French court at the time so I highly recommend checking it out.

CW: very brief mentions of child sexual abuse and self-harming

The Timeline of Most Concrete Events

Let's first go through the things that have at least a bit more backing than a rumor started 100 years after her death. Julie d'Aubigny was born between 1670 and 1673. Her father was Gaston d'Aubigny, the secretary of Louis of Lorraine, count d’Armagnac, who was Master of Horses to King Loius XIV, and her mother is unknown. She was probably brought to the Versailles court in 1682, where she got a full education including academic subjects, riding and fencing, usually only thought for boys. She was married off to a Sieur de Maupin (first name unknown) probably around 1687, when she would have been 14 to 17 years old. He apparently got a position from a southern province as a tax collector. The stories about her claim she remained in Paris, but I don't think there's evidence of this, though what we do know of her adult life does suggest she was estranged from her husband and lived apart from him. Nevertheless, she did end up in Marseilles, where she first appeared on stage in Marseilles Opéra between 1687 and 1690. She didn't have education in music, but her good looks and beautiful voice landed her the role.

Her first appearances in the Paris Opéra are listed to 1690, so that is probably when she had her debut there. She became a very talked about figure and she gained both friends and enemies in the opera and the court. She performed in the Paris Opéra for probably four years, after which she went to Brussels, Bavaria, where she performed with the Opéra du Quai au Foin at least during 1697 and early 1698, after which she returned to France to perform again with the Paris Opéra.

It was the period when her career peaked and she got a lot of leading female roles. Those roles in French opera were at the time soprano roles, but Julie's natural voice range was lower, contralto. (There's a whole thing where at the time she was described as mezzo-soprano, but the music historian consensus is that her range matches contralto in modern terms as opera was sang on lower cords across the board at the time. (I understand nothing about music theory so I just hope I managed to explain this correctly)) She excelled in secondary female roles of goddesses and warrior women. For the leading roles she had to sing on higher notes than was natural to her and the naive and dainty personalities of those roles clashed with her own personality. Some later retellings of her life claim she performed male roles for female singers (which was common practice, and these roles were often those of young boys), but all known records of her roles are female roles. In 1702 on the leading composers of the Paris Opéra, André Campra, wrote her a leading lady role in Tamcréde, which is often credited to have the first leading female role for contralto. But her perhaps most famous role was as Médée in Medus, which was considered to be a very difficult role. Apparently the original leading singer had fallen ill before the debut so Julie was quickly trained in her stead, but succeeded well and got a lot of praise for the role.

In 1703 Julie started an affair with Madame la Marquise de Florensac, who was said to have been the most beautiful woman in France. This is the affair of hers of which there's most evidence. De Florensac was married and had children, but she was also rumored to have many affairs. Julie lived quietly together with her for two years. They were described by a contemporary to have lived in perfect harmony, always spending time together and only appearing in public when necessarily. Julie deputed in her last role in 1705 and ended her career after De Floransac died of sudden fever. Nothing concrete is known about the rest of her life, not even how or when she died, but she is usually speculated to have died in 1707.

Parsing History from Fantasy

Chronologically the rumor that places earliest in her life was that she had "an affair" with count d’Armagnac (age 46 at the time), before she got married in the same year so as a 14 to 17 year old. There doesn't seem to be any actual evidence of this and even if that really happened, it wouldn't have been an affair, it would have been grooming and sexual violence. Related to it is the rumor that the count arranged her marriage and sent her husband away, but kept her in the court with him. Then she "got bored" of the count and ran away with an assistant sword-master, Séranne, to southern France. They got money by performing fencing matches in fairs and taverns while they were traveling till they got to Marseilles, where she first appeared in opera.

The stories of her in this period are generally written in a super nasty tone, and she (as supposed 14 yo) is written as the seductress and the adult men are written as the victims of her fiery temper and fitfulness. All these stories seem pretty unlikely though. The rumor about the count seems (unfortunately) most possible, but accounts from 18th and 19th century about these early events in her life don't seem to be based on any information from her lifetime. I find it most likely that the writers in 18th and 19th centuries were filling out the blanks we don't know from her life and painting her as this (in their eyes) degenerate seductress from an early age. An alternative possible explanation could have been that she indeed accompanied her husband to south, perhaps near Marseilles, where she then performed with the Marseilles Opéra. Many sources claim though that she performed with her maiden name there, which would be odd if she was living with her husband. I don't know where that claim comes originally, but it could be false of course. Although the generally proposed year of her marriage could also be false, which would explain why she at first performed with her maiden name, and later in Paris and always after that with her husband's name. That would not explain how she ended up going to Marseilles though.

The next and perhaps the most infamous and coolest story of her sets somewhere shortly before 1690. In that story she fell in love with a girl in Marseilles and the girls parents sent her to a convent to avoid a scandal. Julie went to the convent with the premise of wanting to become a novice. They tried to frame the girl's death by putting a dead nun's body into the girls bed and setting it on fire and then went on the run for couple of months. While on the run Julie was sentenced to death in absentia, but after returning to Paris and rekindling her relationship with count d'Armagnac, he got the king to pardon her. As amazing as this story is, it's very likely not true. It seems quite unlikely that the 15 to 19 year old Julie would have done that, but even more unlikely that she'd just get all her charges dropped and these crimes wouldn't have hindered at all her career, which hadn't even properly begun yet. The first surviving description of this incident comes from a letter of her contemporary court lady, Madame Dunoyer, who was basically an early gossip columnist and despised her. Her story doesn't mention Julie at all, but talks about a nun, who tried to frame her own death in a similar manner to escape with her male lover (which still sounds very unlikely story). The first surviving description that attaches that story to Julie, comes year after her death from the very suspect writings of a known liar, Cardinal Debois, who did personally know and hate Julie. He claimed that Dumenil, who was an actor in Paris Opéra the same time as Julie, related him the story, while also acknowledging he probably did it because he too hated her. So very likely not a true story, but possibly something that was rumored during her lifetime already.

In the stories of her, after escaping from the convent and before going to Paris, she traveled again in male attire and met Louis Joseph d'Albert de Luynes von Grimberghen, commonly known as count d'Albert. He was an interesting character in his own right, roughly her age, and like her, his real story is a little hard to parse from the legend (though in his case, he was a nobleman so there's also a lot of actual records of his life). In the story though, he thought she was a man, they had some disagreement, a fight broke out, she won, injured him and nursed him back to health. And then they had a brief affair before d'Albert went to war again. They were lifelong friends, so this is not entirely made up. It's entirely possible they had a brief affair (and according to many stories an on and off type of affair that was re-kindled at many points in their lives) and there was rumors about it even in her lifetime, but the story of this first meeting seems to lack validity.

Next in her stories she met Gabriel-Vincent Thévenard, who was another famous singer and her contemporary, either right before or right after she arrived in Paris. They became lovers and after Thévenard auditioned and got accepted into the Paris Opéra, he helped to get Julie accepted too. It is true that as far as we know, they both debuted in 1690. They were also said to have been life long friends and again it's possible they were lovers at some point, but the details of their meeting are difficult to know.

There are many stories about her antics of both of her times in the Paris Opéra. In those stories she fought duels, assaulted Dumenil with a cane, robbed Dumenil, had fights with men after they insulted her or another women or harassed other women, tried to kill herself after her love was not reciprocated, threatened to shoot a duchess in the head, threatened to slit Cardinal Debois' throat, bit Thévenard in the ear on stage and had affairs with men and women. According to Cardinal Debois the feud between Dumenil and Julie started because Dumenil was interested in her but she rejected him. The Cardinal was a liar but it does sound pretty believable. So if it's true and he spread in retaliation a lie that she burned down a convent, her beating him up or beating him up, stealing his valuables and returning them to him by humiliating him in front of other actors, would align well with everything else told about her personality. Maybe her retaliation wasn't exactly as in the stories, but if the other things about Dumenil were true, I'm sure she retaliated in some way. Same applies to her threatening the Cardinal's life. He wrote about it, but he was a liar, but, but because he was a liar who lied about her, it sounds like something she might do. Madame Dunoyer wrote about her threatening the Duchess of Luxembourg apparently because of jealousy over count d'Albert. The duchess was d'Albert's mistress at one point and apparently he even fought a duel over her in 1700. So there is some validity to this rumor, though the circumstances were perfect to fabricate that kind of rumor. I haven't found as much backing to other rumors, but many of them sound possible or at least maybe rooted in some reality and exaggerated.

The rumored explanation for why she left the Paris Opéra around 1694 was that she went into a court ball in men's clothing, kissed a woman on the dance floor and got challenge to a duel by three noblemen. They went outside and she won, but because dueling was illegal, she had to flee to Bavaria, and later when she returned, she was supposedly pardoned by the king again. In the more sensational versions of the story she killed the noblemen. This whole story is very unlikely. Even count d'Albert was imprisoned for engaging in an illegal duel (the one in 1700). He got eventually pardoned, but he was a nobleman and basically a war hero. The first surviving accounts of this story come much after her dead and it sounds more like a very exaggerated version of the other stories of her. There's many more plausible reason why she would have left to Bavaria. If her contemporaries descriptions of her behavior were even half true, those could have been scandal enough. Or if the rumors of her burning down a convent were circling that time already, that alone could have been damaging enough to her career that she thought it best to leave for a while.

In Bavaria, she's rumored to have another scandal. She supposedly became lover of the Max Emanuel, Elector of Bavaria, but she was too dramatic and after she stabbed herself with a real knife during a performance, the Elector decided she was too much, demanded her to leave Bavaria and gave her money for it. She supposedly threw the money to the feet of the messenger and left. The first surviving account of this story comes again from Madame Dunoyer, the details of which have changed, but were always quite exaggerated and unbelievable. Still the core events might be true, it's possible she was the Elector's lover for a while and it's also possible she stabbed herself on stage for real, being very dramatic as she was.

Was she queer?

There are enough accounts of her attraction and relationships with women from people who actually knew her, that I do find it very likely that she was sapphic. Cardinal Debois even implied she was exclusive interested in women or at least heavily preferred them, though other accounts by the people who knew her did talk about her attraction to men too. Her dressing in men's clothing is also mentioned enough times by her contemporaries that I do believe it. Because gender was so heavily tied to clothing and sexuality and fashion was less about what you wanted to wear and more about what you wanted others to think about you, I think she probably had some gender feelings. Even her aggressive and assertive behavior was very much seen as crossing gender boundaries. There's no more evidence of her feelings on gender than her androgynous presentation, so it's mostly speculation.

In conclusion, she was definitely a flavor of queer.

Julie circa 1700 in opera costume.

The most notable source I used:

Julie D'Aubigny: the 17th Century Sapphic Swordfighting Opera Singer, video by Kaz Rowe - I mentioned this before but it bears repeating

Research page by Jim Burrows - This was great since there's gathered multiple sources on le Maupin, historical and more recent, some of which are hard to access fully otherwise

Julie d'Aubigny: La Maupin and Early French Opera, LAPL blog post - It repeats most of the rumors of questionable origin about her as truth, but the sections about her career, which have more backing than just rumors, are really helpful

Mademoiselle De Maupin; Biographical sketches & anecdotes, The Dublin University Magazine - One of those questionable biographies of her from 1854, really only good as a source of what the rumors were after her death

Chevalier, Louis-Joseph, prince de Grimberghen, essay by Neil Jeffares - Biography of count d'Albert, which includes a lot of unsourced rumors about both le Maupin and d'Albert, but recounts his life events in great detail, and references to each claim show which parts are sourced well

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

how do Julius and Jason flirt with someone they are interested in making their s/o? Separate of course. What are their strong points? Weak points? Shy or confident? Awkward or sweet talker? Observe you from a far too learn all your interests or just take you on a once in a life fairy tale date and hope it works? Kiss on the first date or wait? Things like this!

You are my favorite blog!🖤

Aw, thank you friend! It feels so good to be people's favorite!

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Julius The Dressmaker

Julius is a very interesting person when it comes to dating

Usually he will just try to be himself, but if he picks up on something you find attractive, he will adapt to fit that standard for you

He is very confident when it comes to making someone his s/o

If he wants something, he will do everything in his power to get it

Something that does change from person to person is dependent on whether you are more masc presenting or more fem presenting

If you are fem presenting, he will try to be "manly" for you. He will still be himself, but he will just kind of "masculinize" certain features of himself

If you are masc presenting, he will be more soft and "feminine". Again he will still be himself, just sort of accentuating his feminine features

If you are androgynous he will probably just do whatever he thinks you will like better

He tries to be super smooth with his sweet talking, but most of it just comes out as "sweet" rather than "smooth"

Which is still fine, just not exactly what he wanted

Honestly he probably won't bother to learn much about you other than a few likes and dislikes of yours, he wants it to be a surprise for him when you two are dating

So chances are, he will instead just build up a friendship with you (by friendship I mean very flirty acquaintances), and then ask you out randomly and hopes it works

You could literally just be walking in the hallway and he will ask lol

He isn't much of a "special date" guy, so he'll likely just take you out on something where you two can be alone

An empty movie theatre, shopping, eating at a restaurant, etc

During this time, he will try a little harder to pick up on your likes and dislikes, as well as what you think of him

When it comes to the idea of having a first kiss on the first date, he is of the mind that whatever happens happens

If the opportunity presents itself, he will of course take it

But if you aren't comfortable doing that quite yet, or if he can't get a read on how well you like him, then he won't

He is very go with the flow when it comes to the date itself, it is just sort of whatever you wanna do

If the date goes well, he will ask you on another

and another

and another

Until maybe your 4th or 5th date, then he will ask if you like him enough to become his partner or if you need more time

He is sort of impatient though, so don't drag him along too long or he might lose interest

Jason The Toymaker

Jason is a very "traditional" lover if that makes sense

He is very romantic in every sense of the word, and will make sure he woos you to the best of his ability

He learns almost all of your interests, likes and dislikes, both from observing you from afar and talking to you

Once he knows your interests, he will slowly start building a relationship with you

He isn't very flirty, as it just doesn't suit him

He isn't necessarily shy, moreso bashful

He will shyly offer you small gifts, muttering some excuse about how he was just clearing out some clutter and definitely didn't make something just for you

Speaking of gifts, a lot of his gifts are handmade

He thinks that gifts have more value if they are made specifically for someone

When it comes to asking you on a date, he will kind of take a leap of faith

He will set up a romantic picnic in the garden, set to be taken place at night with some candles for the lighting

He will set it up with your favorite foods and drinks and maybe some of your favorite music

He will ask that you allow him to lead you with your eyes closed

He will place his hands over your eyes and lead you to his little spot, and when you arrive he will uncover your eyes with a "tada!"

He will continue standing behind you, observing your reaction

Assuming you take it well, he will then move to stand in front of you, taking your hands and proclaiming his love for you

Not in an overbearing stalker way, but in a sweet, thought out way

And then you will feast on the foods, talking and laughing the night away

After this, he kind of just assumes that you are romantic partners

BUT he refuses to make any advances (such as your first kiss) until he is sure you are completely comfortable

He also waits for a while because he isn't quite comfortable himself

He isn't terribly used to physical affection, and it will take him a while to accept the idea of kissing

He is fine holding hands and maybe some light affections like pressing your foreheads together, but other than that, he will want to wait

Just be patient with him because I promise you, it will pay off

[kankuroplease]

Could u share some more about juugos sisters

I don’t have much on them, but I have a few HCs I can share

Jugo, Juri, and Junko were all named by their father’s attendant (Reizo) because their parents couldn’t decide on names

Juri is the shyer and slightly shorter of the twins

Junko is much more outspoken and the troublemaker of all the twins. She also almost always has braids in her hair.

When they were younger, they spent most of their free time playing in their mother’s paints, chasing Reizo, picking herbs, and playing with the woodland creatures

The triplets were pretty inseparable during this time and despite having their own rooms, they would all find one bed to share at night

They didn’t fully understand why they couldn’t play with their cousins without their father and Reizo’s present, but they were fairly good at following those instructions 

Junko is more of a book gal while Juri is into all things artsy

They know each other’s preferences and will correct anyone who gets them wrong

They argue over what they’ll be wearing for the day because they both hate clashing outfits

They both dislike sweet things, but Juri is much more picky about it than Junko

They treat Reizo like he’s their personal assistant/bodyguard without thinking sometimes. Juri is much more apologetic about it as she doesn’t like burdening others

Junko doesn’t see a problem with it given he was assigned to them, but she will buy him “thank you” gifts from time to time

Reizo is constantly trying to remind them to behave like ladies. Just because they can control their sage transformations do to HIS HELP, does not mean they should go about transforming and ripping their clothes in the process

Speaking of their sage transformations, they are and have always been bigger than Jugo in those forms. Which, according to their father, is pretty common for the women in his clan

Unlike their brother, they have full control over themselves while transformed

Jugo deciding to leave with their uncle got mixed emotions from the girls

Juri was very attached to Jugo and didn’t want him to leave (she was a sobbing mess). She understood his worry, but couldn’t understand why they couldn’t go with him

Junko was indifferent about their brother’s departure. He probably felt like an outsider considering he was the only one Reizo couldn’t help, so maybe it was for the better? Who knows 🤷‍♀️

Thanks to their brothers departure, the girls didn’t like going out much and flag out refused tutoring for awhile

Their father is convinced that they will make proper debuts into society and will be able to marry well/live normal lives, if they would just stopped running into the woods whenever they get upset

Their mother is much more relaxed about them being themselves. If they want to run around as androgynous humanoids, who is she to stop them

Juri eventually convinced her parents that they should look for Jugo after his letters stopped

She knew her father didn’t want to go back to this “land of fire” but she was convinced something was wrong

When they do eventually find Jugo, they both end up crying tears of happiness and relief

Despite their wealth, they are relatively down to earth and prefer laidback company

[pro-memoriia]

Any thoughts on trans Ghouls?👀

Any era, Ghoul or Ghoulettes, I want to hear it ALL!

(Because I am also very obsessed with trans Ghouls)

I over thought this a lot. Mostly gender identity HCs and pronouns and stuffs.

I put the pronoun "it" in quotations to make it readable and separate from the rest of the words. I promise I'm not tryna like- you know. 😭

Also PSA: I normally write characters as like, ghoul=male sex and ghoulette=female sex because it's just my writing habits and stuff. Pronouns might be carried on but probably not anatomy so I apologize sincerely for the difference between this and many of my NSFW HCs.

Transmasc demiboy Rain. Mostly uses he/they but doesn't have anything against being referred to as she/her.

AFAB gender fluid Cirrus. All pronouns.

Androgynous transmasc Dewdrop. He/Him mostly but is okay with they/them or even "it".

AFAB demigirl Cumulus. She/They.

Nonbinary transmasc Aether. He/They.

Femme presenting AFAB non binary Aurora. She/her and they/them heavily, doesn't really mind others though.

Transfemme Sunshine. She/Her.

Transmasc Mountain. Prefers he/him, neutral on the/them, doesn't like she/her.

AMAB demiboy Phantom. Is okay with really any pronouns but she/her are the least favorites.

AMAB masc presenting nonbinary Swiss. He/They/She. Doesn't really care about what people refer to them as.

[clownholemcfannywhistle]

Stardew Valley bachelor headcanons for when they realize they've fallen for you (gender inclusive)

Alex

His first impression of you?

Something along the lines of, "Oh wow, that new farmer is eye candy."

Or if you're male or more masculine-presenting, probably something like, "Whoa, I don't know why, but I wanna be close to them."

And if you're very androgynous or your presentation is very fluid, the poor boy has an identity crisis.

Cue him having an awkward talk with his grandpa about how to make more friends (Alex ain't talking about being "just friends," but George doesn't know that.)

Evelyn, however, can tell pretty easily that he definitely has feelings for someone, but she doesn't know who, at least not right away.

Before you rolled into town, Alex was always very dedicated to his dream of becoming a gridball champion.

But after? He'd make sure to stay outside longer than before.

He's not super self-aware about why he has this urge to show off, especially if you might catch a glimpse of him.

"I don't know who I am. I don't know why I'm here. All I know is that I must keep the farmer's eyes on me." -Alex, probably.

He flexes and trains extra hard when you're nearby.

Sure, he may be a little standoffish sometimes at first, but that's because he doesn't want to be too distracted from his career goal.

But of course, sooner or later, you're always taking up a portion of his mind.

It was honestly refreshing to have someone genuinely believe in him and take an interest in his goals.

For the longest time, he also thought that he was "playing it cool" around you when he was actually just a bit rude.

It took his grandma gently scolding him for acting like a high schooler for him to realize how cocky he had been acting.

I mean, bless his heart, but he's a dumbass.

He apologizes to you and is grateful when you stick by his side.

Also, in my own personal imagination, if you're female, let's say that he actually grows a pair and apologizes for the sexism specifically.

But the "official" moment he falls for you is just after you find him crying about his late mother on the beach.

He honestly expected you to make fun of him for being so vulnerable, but you comfort him and offer him some appreciated words of advice.

After this event, he can finally gain the self-awareness that, holy shit, he has a crush on you.

Evelyn has also figured out that it's you he's crushing on, at this point.

She doesn't have a talk with him about it, so as not to embarrass him, but she does tell him that he can invite you over for dinner and cookies a lot more.

And if you mention that you like being there, she says that you're basically a part of the family at this point and looks at Alex and does *eyebrows eyebrows* and he's madly blushing, because he knows she knows.

I feel like, for a little while, if Alex was somewhat flirting with you before, he eases up on it a bit because he realizes that he's actually caught feelings.

Flirting just hits different when you're actually more vulnerable to rejection because you're in love.

That's right, the bravado was kind of an act. Partially as a coping mechanism to keep himself motivated despite having a dad who tried to bring him down.

But he can let his guard down around you, and when he does... c'mon, he's a fucking sweetie.

He trusts you not to make fun of him when he lets his softer side out, so you'll start seeing it more.

He would absolutely be winning you stuffed animals from the claw machine game at the movie theater, taking you out to eat, playfully roughhousing with you (and if he pins you down, he'd just bite your nose softly and let you go), and asking you to go to the beach with him a lot (not just to see you in a bathing suit anymore :))

He's totally not dropping heavy hints that he likes you because that's easier than just outright confessing...

Elliott

Okay, I'm not a big Elliott fan, but for the sake of this being wholesome, I won't make him a disgusting caricature of himself lol.

Let's be real, this is a man who believes in love at first sight.

(I personally don't, but I do think that there can be attraction and curiosity at first sight, which is what I think he's experiencing!)

He's so honest with himself about his feelings, like this man is confident that he finds you attractive.

Also I think he's probably confidently bi.

The minute he meets you, he's shaking your hand and acting a little more friendly and welcoming that he would for someone who... isn't as attractive, haha.

Don't you see how kind and approachable he is? He hopes you do.

The night he meets you, he goes home and writes about it in his diary lmao.

"Dear diary, today I met the most captivating individual..."

He spends some more time outside than usual, hoping to catch a glimpse of you or even have a conversation.

He can't help it; you're interesting and he's dying to know what's going on inside your mind!

As soon as he's reasonably confident that you won't be cruel and that he's not asking too much of you, he'll show you his works in progress and ask you what you think.

Say he has an ego, but he wants to show off his best skill!

The more you interact with him, the harder he falls for you.

He spends his evenings sighing dramatically and writing love poems in his journal that he's not ready to share.

Either that, or he's at the saloon, laying his head on a table and talking Leah's ear off about his crush. He won't outright say it's you, but if she happens to see the way he acts when you're around, it's painfully obvious.

He might be a little... over the top, with how he tries to be chivalrous.

(I mean, have you seen the way he demands Gus fetch him and the farmer a drink after smoothly bragging about his "eight hour writing session"??)

But if that's endearing to you, and you actually flirt back with him, he's such a mess. I'm talking blushing, sweating, and then apologizing for the way his body is reacting, haha.

Even if you're married to him, he keeps up the charade that he's the one human in the world who doesn't fart, smh.

Harvey

I feel like, because he's a little more reserved at first, it takes him a little while to realize he's fallen for you.

He can't even think of people as being attractive if he doesn't know what their personality is like.

Demisexual? Maybe a little.

Another confidently bi dude.

But probably at your first checkup, if you express being nervous...

His heart flutters, and he gets an overwhelming urge to reassure you that he's there to help.

I mean, that's what he'd do for any of his patients, so he's not quite sure why he has this urge to be particularly comforting to you...

And that time you catch him doing dance aerobics??

He's soooo embarrassed. Like, if anyone were to find out, he'd rather it be Haley than you, honestly.

If you reassure him that you won't tell anyone and that doing dance aerobics isn't nearly as embarrassing as he thinks it is, he gets that fluttery feeling in his chest again.

I think that that's when the thought first occurs to him that he might have a thing for the farmer.

He tries to dismiss the thought immediately, but just thinking about that being a possibility has his face so hot, his glasses are fogging up.

I know it's been said before, but he would be pining.

A lot more absent-minded at work, to the point where Maru would catch him staring off into space, blushing, and gently kicking his feet frequently enough to wonder if he's got a crush on someone.

Once he finally realizes without a shadow of a doubt that he like likes you, he's just so flustered every time he sees you lol.

Like, you come into his office, and he drops his muffin, hits his head on the counter when he tries to pick it up, and then stumbles backwards, stepping on the muffin.

I mean, his anxiety flares up bad. Too bad he's miserable, because it's so adorable.

He also starts keeping his apartment even cleaner than usual. Not sure if he believes you'd spontaneously come over or if he has an imaginary audience complex...

Not going to lie, I think he also keeps a diary. And he starts writing about you in it probably every day once he realizes he's in love.

So babygirl.

I think he'd be overthinking about the possible ethical consequences/moral implications of confessing to you, so if you get together at all, you're making the first move, hun.

Once you officially become a couple, he's constantly worrying about coming across as too eager or forward, so he deals with that in private in his own... special way.

(Maru: Harvey, you've already doodled your and the farmer's wedding invitation!

Harvey: No, that's our joint tombstone!)

We love our bespectacled Luigi.

(Bonus points if you got the two Brooklyn Nine-Nine references I sprinkled in here lol.)

Sam

Like Alex, I feel like he's not the most self-aware guy on this list.

He sees you, and he's like, "Whoa! I don't know why, but I really wanna be good friends with this person!"

So he follows that impulse without questioning it, the little ADHDiva.

He just wants to show you everything! He wants you to know about his hobbies, his job, his family, and he's real curious to know if you've got anything in common with him.

Not to say he'd be oversharing, at least not on purpose and not often, lol. He may be impulsive, but he understands boundaries.

I honestly think it would take Sebastian pointing out how chummy he is with you for him to realize that he's got a crush.

Also, if you're a dude/male-presenting, he'd probably have a brief moment of awakening.

"Wow, I might be pan. Huh. ...I'm gonna go eat at least four pieces of bubblegum and an MnM I found on the floor."

The realization doesn't make him spiral like Alex lol.

But then he kinda realizes that, looking back, he's definitely caught feelings for people of every gender under the sun.

I feel like he probably channels his feelings and passion into his music.

He writes songs about you, without directly saying they're about you, but Sebastian and Abigail know they're about you.

I feel like you'd be walking by when he's practicing his skateboard tricks, and he'd say, "This one's for you, farmer!" and then fail the kickflip and land on his butt.

You'd both laugh about it once you make sure he's okay.

His butt would lowkey become an inside joke haha.

You could teasingly ask him if the scrape on his butt is in the shape of an L, and he'd giggle childishly about it for days.

I think he'd be asking his mom if he could invite you over for dinner a lot more frequently.

Jodi would catch on and probably give him a talk about safe sex, to which he'd blush and whine that he's not a teenager.

Since Sam is such an open book, there's no doubt in my mind that Vincent knows about his crush.

I bet Vincent accidentally tells on him during a family dinner with you, too, lmao.

Out of the blue, he'd pipe up and say, "When you and the farmer get married, will they be my big sibling, too?"

When.

Poor Sammy would choke on his appy juice/Joja cola (he probably hasn't drank plain water in six years) and try to play it off as Vincent just saying nonsense.

Later, when you're hanging out with Sam, he'd try to be smooth about it.

"Haha... Vincent is such a stinker... But, y'know, it would be funny if we actually got together to humor him...?"

Please don't reject him, he's totally pouring his heart out to you right now ;-;

Sebastian

He likes to appear stoic and act like a lone wolf.

But I think the moment he sees you, his heart is going BA-DUM, BA-DUM

Like, he thinks you're hot from the get-go, but he's still pretty reserved.

So if he's at the saloon with Sam and Abigail and you walk by, he literally just says, "Hi, farmer."

And the minute you're out of earshot, Abi and Sam are teasing him and laughing. "Wow, keep it in your pants, Seb!" "Yeah, you basically just threw yourself at them!"

His ears get all hot from the teasing and he has to go excuse himself to take a smoke break lmao.

I think he's known he's bi/pan for a while now.

I mean, look at him and tell me he's not at least half a twink, hehe.

Outwardly, he's not very emotionally expressive.

But inwardly, he has a mini heart attack when you talk to him.

He tries to be as cool as a cucumber, but he gets pretty anxious around you and can accidentally come across as standoffish.

I bet he's, like, really socially awkward, especially with strangers.

He gets so fidgety around you and he's always bouncing his leg.

He tries not to smoke around you, until he's sure that you wouldn't judge him for it, but that makes him stressed and so he wants to smoke even more.

Poor baby is so awkward, hehe.

Like Sam pushes him into you, and he's quietly apologizing and then saying, "Uh, sorry, I'm, uhh... late to... leave..." and speed-walking away.

Sam facepalms and later, he's like, "Dude, what was that??"

Abigail just goes ahead and makes a group chat with the four of you, which is such a smart move.

When he's talking to you in person, he's so baby and he doesn't know what to do with his hands.

But in the group chat, you actually get to see how funny he is, and his personality shines through.

You guys even start texting privately, and he's always sending you music, memes, animal pictures, and funny videos.

This is how he flirts.

He's like your best friend through the screen, but has no clue how to act in person.

Don't get me wrong, he'd love to hang out with you in person. He's just so damn anxious.

I feel like once you get to be good friends with him, he'd be super clingy and get nervous if you take more than a few hours to text him back.

Which, of course it does, you're super busy with the farm and running errands for villagers.

Eventually, it would either come down to you confessing to him or him being high at 3:00 a.m. and leaving you a series of long, rambling voicemails about how he misses you and is really into you.

Shane

Look, if you read my recent very unwholesome Shane nsfw fic, I'll still stand by the idea I wrote in there that he'd glance up from his beer, think you're hot, but assume he has no chance with you.

He knows he's not relationship material, at least not when you first meet him.

And even if he was, he gets defensive when he thinks people are trying to pity him or treat him like he needs a babysitter.

Like bro is positive that Emily just feels sorry for him, and that causes tension between them sometimes.

But even if you keep pestering him, he'll start to think fondly of you as long as you aren't a total goody-two-shoes.

Enemies to drinking buddies to friends to lovers???

But yeah, drink with him once and he'll be like, "Okay, they're actually not half bad."

Actually validate him and show up for him non-judgmentally?

I'm sorry to my fellow Shane lovers, but I'm pretty sure he'd fall for the first person who doesn't treat him like he's a burden.

Especially if that person is more female-presenting.

It'll take him a little longer to figure out that he's in love with you if you're a dude.

Poor baby, having his sexual awakening in his thirties.

I feel like he also tries vehemently to deny the notion that he might be falling for you, regardless of your gender, because he doesn't want it to be true.

Like, his only real friend in the valley? Of course he's not going to screw that up by confessing to you.

What if you think he's a creep and never want to talk to him again if he does?

He may not show it, but babygirl is overthinking.

He's kind of under the assumption that if he just shoves these feelings down deep, they'll go away. After all, it's just a fleeting crush, right?

(It isn't.)

Once he starts seeing a therapist, I think they'd inform him not to shove his feelings down deep and just talk about them either in session or with a friend.

They'd also probably tell him something like "risk is a part of life, don't let fear hold you back from living, I know this farmer is really special to you but even if they reject you, you've still proven that you can work on yourself and if you want a partner in the future, you can be confident that you wouldn't be a burden on them, and having a relapse doesn't erase your progress..."

Yadda yadda yadda.

(Can you tell how much therapy I've been through)

I feel like if he confesses first, it would either be after a really bad lapse when he's crying and really drunk...

But more likely, he'd be tipsy and do something impulsive.

Like giving you a quick smooch when the Tunnelers score.

He panics about that retroactively, but he'll be over the moon if you reciprocate his feelings at all.

[genderkoolaid]

So I came across this quote by Julia Serano, and I wanted to share my take on it:

“When you’re a trans woman you are made to walk this very fine line, where if you act feminine you are accused of being a parody and if you act masculine, it is seen as a sign of your true male identity. And if you act sweet and demure, you’re accused of reinforcing patriarchal ideas of female passivity, but if you stand up for your own rights and make your voice heard, then you are dismissed as wielding male privilege and entitlement. We trans women are made to teeter on this tightrope, not because we are transsexuals, but because we are women. This is the same double bind that forces teenage girls to negotiate their way between virgin and whore, that forces female politicians and business women to be aggressive without being seen as a bitch, and to be feminine enough not to emasculate their alpha male colleagues, without being so girly as to undermine their own authority.”

Now, I absolutely agree that this behavior is based in misogyny. The only thing I really disagree with is the idea that it doesn't have anything to do with being trans.

For one, trans men also are forced to walk this tightrope, if in the opposite direction. If a trans man is feminine, he's actually a girl, but if he's masculine, he's idolizing toxic masculinity. If a trans man is sweet and passive, he'll never be a real man, but if he's outspoken and demands to be heard, he's a raging misogynist wielding male privilege. Nonbinary people, too, have to walk the tightrope, with the added element of "too masc/fem and you aren't really nonbinary, too androgynous and you are suspicious and cringe and probably a pedophile". Reducing this tightrope down to just misogyny, in my opinion, obscures the way that other trans people besides trans women are also forced to walk this tightrope.

Additionally, while I understand why she compares it to things like the madonna/whore complex, I don't feel like it's exactly the same thing. If a cis woman (especially/specifically a white, straight-presenting one*) acts masculine or assertive, she'll certainly be called a bitch, a cunt, evil, unfeminine and ugly, all the misogynistic tricks in the book- but she'll never be called a misogynistic entitled male.

Cis women do not face the combined forces of misandry/misogyny/misandrogyny the way trans people do. Cis women do not have to fear being seen as male and therefore sexually predatory, naturally aggressive, and an oppressor to be taken down in the way that all trans people are. Cis women are seen as women, while trans people are seen as grotesquely occupying the space between genders. Cis women are punished for acting outside of the bounds of the class of woman, while trans people are punished for acting outside the bounds of binary gender. We fail to be proper women or proper men, and so anything we do is punishable because transness is seen as something which taints any gender it touches. Trans people are deviant women who need to be put in their place, and dangerous men who are a threat to patriarchal men, and androgynous freaks who threaten the very foundation of the gender binary and the patriarchy built upon it.

I don't wanna claim to know the true reasons behind why Serano comes to the conclusions she does, so this is just my own reading of this quote:

It feels like she is leaning heavily into the "its all misogyny" to make a point about how trans women face the same struggles cis women do, therefore they should be considered equally female and equally oppressed by misogyny as cis women. Transmisogyny is just another way to oppress women, as women, and therefore cis feminists should accept trans women as women.

And I don't blame her for that, if that was her motive. Especially considering that a lot of her writing was done during a time where radical feminists were intensely scrutinizing trans women's oppression & trans activism was even less well known or supported by mainstream feminism than it is now. But I do think that, in trying to align the experiences of trans women with the experiences of cis women, it has led to the thriving idea that trans men cannot experience equal levels of oppression, because they are men and therefore their experiences must be closer to that of cis men's.

It's not that the thing she's talking about isn't transmisogyny, or that she should've brought up trans men- I have no issues with her specifically talking about how this impacts trans women and how its based in transmisogyny. But I feel very strongly that the three-arm model of transphobia explained by @transunity is a far more accurate way of conceptualizing transphobia & all of its individual forms (transmisogyny, transandrophobia, exorsexism). It accepts that all trans people can be attacked from the position that they are men, or women, or both/neither.

It also makes sense that this model comes from the transunity movement, because it prioritizes shared experience & solidarity between all trans people rather than shared experience & solidarity between trans people and cis people who share their gender. Not that that is intrinsically bad, because it isn't- but I feel that Serano's model of transmisogyny, in rejecting the idea of "trans" as a class of its own, negatively impacts other trans people and especially trans men by forcing them to be seen only in relation to their cis counterparts, and not as trans people first and foremost.

*Edited to specify white/straight womanhood

[quidfree]

hello! i've followed you to indulge in your TSH content, having just finished the book and your fanfic Sober II (Melodrama) back to back! (i'm destroyed!!)

i'm wondering if you've given any thought to whether Richard (Tartt's Richard, or yours) is gay or maybe bisexual? he ofc probably would not make that distinction himself - given the time period, or his aversion to that kind of self reflection, or the apparent finality of his relationship with Francis, or maybe all of the above - but it's fun to think about now, especially myself being someone who now IDs as a lesbian after 10 years of IDing as bi.

thank you for your service 🫡

hello! love your username btw. and thank you, glad to have you in the quidfree extended tartt community.

i like the 'tartt's richard or yours' distinction- i would say i do make an effort so that (to me at least) my richard is a plausible iteration of hers, i.e. i do not like to write so that the characters are 'my' versions unless i think the source material is bad (or at least bad in that specific way). but some of my less serious tsh material veers further into the 'my' side of the scale, for sure. anyway all that to say i don't have separate sets of thoughts on 'both' richards, it's more that there's some stuff i'm 100% on being in canon and some stuff i know i extrapolated into the extended materials my tsh fic constitute.

all that aside, i actually do not have strong feelings on whether richard is gay or bisexual. i think both have strong canon grounding and present similar but slightly different psychologies of the character. the obvious thing is that richard is repressing his attraction to men, but whether he's also comphet in his attraction to women is debatable. he's consistently attracted to them and sleeps with/dates them across all of canon, but on the other hand the key female love interests for him are 1) judy, whose interest he doesn't reciprocate 2) mona, who he sleeps with post murder in a fugue state 3) camilla, who he deifies as a feminine ideal and also always lauds the androgynous beauty/looks she shares with her brother of and 4) sophie, who does lend the most credence to him actually being into girls but also is someone he latches onto when his whole group has deserted him and then fails to emotionally connect with despite several years of dating. of course that could be the trauma, the repression, or both! but my point is there's evidence both ways, no pun intended. richard has very distinct ways of thinking about men and women but it's not as simple as one thing- there's his own self-perception/masculinity, his sexism, his homophobia, and his sexuality all playing a part.

you're right that he wouldn't make the distinction himself, though- either way, his canon thought process is very much 'well i'm not one of those' and that's a catch-all. if and when he gains self-awareness it would have to be through a prolonged relationship of some kind, e.g. with francis in sober ii-verse, because one-offs he can excuse and repress. which is why i think once that sort of long-term realisation happened he would think that he had been lying to himself/everyone the whole time beforehand and secretly consider himself a homosexual (regardless of whether this would be accurate).

i think modern day richard would be more likely to call himself bisexual regardless of which option you go with as more likely. you know that quote from obama's biography about reading marx to get with bisexual college girls... that's somehow richard-coded but in the sense that he thinks calling himself 'flexible' or whatever lets him sound liberated but plausibly heteronormative. in any setting francis delights in the corner he paints himself into.

[suffarustuffaru]

Looking at your past art has me really loving your drag king Natsumi, do you have any more thoughts on them? I'd love to hear them. Also just your genderbend ideas in general. They are very interesting!

for future reference, here is where i drew some drag king natsumi + sapphic ottosuba :) i definitely plan on making more genderbend au content in the future thats for sure! :o i have another older art post on this here also (i am. too lazy to find it rn but its there somewhere!!) but i have some in depth thoughts about fembaru for sure yes :3 ty for finding my genderbend ideas interesting!! :D !! id be happy to talk about them more :o

im gonna start with outward design stuff / gender presentation first!! :D bc in my head, afab subaru probably looks almost exactly the same. in general, canon subaru’s most likely at least a little androgynous (and i think he probably is judging off of how much he passes as the opposite sex!!), and we know hes got his dad’s spiky black hair and his mom’s mean eyes and general facial shape, has a long torso, that sort of thing, so i think afab subaru would look similar :o

plus i like to treat fembaru as basically just the mirror/foil/inverse of canon amab subaru anyway, so yep natsumi schwartz is gonna be her male persona!! canon amab subaru was mistaken as a girl when he was a child, and he also went to high school (iirc it was high school but at the very least he was about the same age he is during arc 1) for three days as natsumi yes and passed for three days. iirc he would put on the girl’s uniform and wig and stuff on the way to school and out of his parents’ view and then put on the male uniform and take off the wig before he got home!! plus you know he’d generally practice makeup most likely and wig styling and all sorts of things in private.

so definitely afab subaru is doing similar stuff but in the opposite direction now—looking more masc and presenting as a boy. while amab subaru can put on and take off a wig, in my head, afab subaru would probably have to have shorter hair. so one day she just got a haircut thats short enough to where she could style it masculinely but longer enough to where it could still be kinda considered feminine enough!!

im not 100% sure how to draw her hair yet but in my earlier post and a few of my sketches it kinda looks like either a long mullet/wolfcut or a messy bob :3 i think you could probably say that her hair looks more like a wacky bob when shes more feminine and a wolfcut when shes styling it more masculinely?

(^^ my take on fem wrathbaru is here also LMAO)

i also base my fembaru design off of canon natsumi!! with the side bang (though i sometimes draw it on the wrong side akdnd)!! meanwhile fembaru’s male natsumi would have canon amab subaru’s hair :) (which you can see in my earlier post as well!!)

(i like this illustration actually <3)

i also like to hc that on top of subaru wanting to look and act more like his dad in canon, he did also kinda want to resemble his mom when hes presenting more femininely :o also for genderbend aus it depends on whether you ONLY want to genderbend subaru or if you wanna genderbend everyone along with subaru too, that sort of thing. i like to play with both possibilities :o

but in general, i like the idea of subaru either way trying to honor both her mom and dad. maybe to subaru her mom is what an ideal woman should be perhaps, and her dad is the ideal man, bc subarus parents are her biggest role models, so she tries to emulate both at different points in her life. she tries to be the perfect soft sweet girl like her mom and it doesnt work. she leans into being a bit of a delinquent and it doesnt work. then she cuts her hair and learns to present more masculinely and tries to copy her dad only to fail again. :((( then she gets isekaied……

i feel like afab subaru might get a bit more shit for getting into trouble too :(( or for being too loud. shes not very traditionally ladylike, i think!! boys will be boys and of course your daughter takes after you, kenichi, but dont you think shes a little too rough around the edges now?

anyway otherwise in general, i also like the idea that over the course of each arc in the fantasy world, subaru grows her hair out!! and once its long enough she can put it into a ponytail like her mom again :,)))

(male rem is here too <3)

also i like to give fembaru the maid dress instead of the butler outfit!!! probably not with the garter and stuff but 😭😭 its a pretty dress and fembaru should get to express herself both masculinely and femininely :3 in my head, i think subaru would be shy bc AGHH THIS DRESS IS SO REVEALING THERES NO WAY ID LOOK GOOD IN THIS IM NOT PRETTY AT ALL and rem and ram (genderbent or not) are probably like nonsense just try the dress. its your uniform to work here. and subaru does and huhhhh. maybe i dont look half bad ? :,) (bc of course subaru’s insecurities either present themselves the same or slightly different when genderbended). and of course when rem and ram warm up to subaru eventually ram can be like ��you dont look as bad as i thought youd look” or something and rem can be like “subaru-kun youre very beautiful anyways!!!! <3”

and also i do think subaru would cut her hair a bit again or style it different for natsumi adventures later in arc 7 <3 just to have that symmetry again. the situation probably might go a little different but yep this is how id handle it 👍

and of course you can give subaru the canon natsumi hair bow sometimes when shes feeling fancy :3

OKAY and now im gonna talk about more character stuff!! lets talk about subarus whole thing with isekai and genre savviness and all that.

one of canon subaru’s many many Many parts making him up as a character and making up his story in general is a deconstruction of the isekai genre!! power fantasy and characters being cardboard cutouts for the male mc to triumph without a struggle—that sort of thing. but afab subaru is a female lead now, and female isekai is different.

id have to do way more research into this and watch more female isekai and shoujo and stuff (ive been Really wanting to watch im in love with the villainess…… someday i will…..). buuut from what ive noticed so far it seems like for male lead isekai the fantasy here is the Power and Prestige, but female lead isekai’s fantasy seems to be the Romance!! not that you cant have OP abilities in female lead isekais and not that every isekai is 100% the same of course. but that seems to be the common tropes from what ive seen so far? male isekai protags have girls throwing themselves at him as trophies, female lead isekais have their male romantic interests and the evil evil villainesses are defeated somehow and perfectly out of the way <3 the fantasy is that youll be loved by The One—the perfect boy(s) <3

and i think amab subaru is less likely to check out much female lead isekai but i think itd be fun if afab subaru would probably focus on female lead isekai but also a bit on male lead isekai as well!! she wants that absolute path to glory AND love. (and ahahhahahaha please ignore the gazillion ikemen anime figurines in her room hahahahahhahhahahahah AND DEFINITELY IGNORE THE SILVER HAIRED ONES. ESPECIALLY THE ONLY GIRL FIGURINE SHE HAS THATS BEEN GATHERING DUST UNDER HER BED—)

but also bc i think amab subarus more likely to go nah i wont look at girly media while maybe afab subarus like godddddddd i want instant OP abilitiessssssssssss and godddddddd i want hot girls around m—WHAT. WHAT. WHO SAID THAT WHO SAID THAT—

anyway so subaru gets isekaied and shes like SWEEETTT A NEW BEGINNING AWAY FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO MEET EXPECTATIONS HAHAHAHAHA IM THE ISEKAI PROTAG!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!! (is about to get her shit rocked). and shes like ooooh do i have any abilities (nope) and oooohhhhhh shit do i have a villainess. AM I THE VILLAINESS???? no way right. anyway lol wheres the ikemen who’ll ill marry one day. the ikemen that falls in love….. with a commoner……… like myself teehee… and they get married…… and the villainess is CONQUERED….

anyway so what im saying is. ………….fembaru is a femcel. AND a pick me. AND a disaster bisexual. you could practically imagine a vine boom after each of those.

i think the biggest most important to me with genderbend aus is keeping the humanity of the characters the same the best i can!! and fembaru is STILL subaru, of course shes fucking cringe!! of course shes got a heart of gold but its under layers of cringe!!! of course shes a nerd who doesnt have any friends at first and trips and stumbles through all the shit being thrown her way!!

also if male subaru is bi then so is fem subaru okay. we’re equal opportunity here. and also amab subaru has issues with his masculinity and uhhhh slight things with women (see: his boob comments in season 1…….. subaru i love you but cmon man). so. afab subaru i think has got a terrible case of internalized misogyny / homophobia / PROBABLY SOME COMPHET TOO LMFAO 😭😭

i think general plot beats (whether its only genderbending subaru or genderbending everyone) goes mostly the same but again, slight differences. im gonna go with only subaru being genderbent atm bc thatd have more differences i think :o

yes ok so subaru’s gonna see reinhard and go GASPPP oh my god. pretty ikemen. ohhhhhh oughhhhh hes so pretty. hes clearly main lead material… ohhhh what do i do ive never talked to people in so long and hes so PRETTY FUUUCKKKKK BUT I DONT WANNA BOTHER HIM EITHER AND PUT HIM IN DANGER. um um um um mmumimimm HE CLOSED THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US TOO???? what the hell what the fuck what the fuck shit shit um think THINK SUBARU THINK YOU HAVE CHARM RIGHT?? YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN CHARM A HOT GUY. ARGGHHH— *explodes*

but also subaru sees emilia and gets that “do i wanna be her or be with her” feeling 😭😭 bc emilias so….. cute…. pretty… and NICE TOO?? WITH A FUN PERSONALITY??? SHIT SHES GOT EVERYTHING!! she went out of her way to save me 🥺🥺 and im just dragging her down 😔😔 BUT FUCKKKK I HATEEEE HOW GOOD SHE IS. and then :,)))) theyre both dying in the warehouse… and the first time subaru feels the touch of another girl in a more intimate light is her and emilia holding hands as they die…………….

SO YEAH THEN SUBARU RBDS :,,)))) so like. do you get what im saying. emisuba and remsuba and satella are subaru’s first sapphic heartbreaks and heartaches. muahahaha!!!! insert more evil laughter here!!!! bc since subarus a girl her relationships with emisuba and remsuba are definitely gonna be perceived (both by other people and rem emilia subaru) more so as friendships first and foremost.

so….. subarus getting the codependent homoerotic teenage friendship bright and early HAH. but i cannot blame her!! i too would go insane if i was put in a new unfamiliar world and i met this cute girl i was both jealous of and a little into and then we both died and the last thing i felt was searing pain and her soft fingertips!!! i too would go insane if i thought this maid was my friend but then she tortured me and—and—

but yeah you know how amab subaru has his whole weird complex bromances with reinhard and julius and otto?? now itll be like that but with emilia (the julius and reinhard…) and rem (the otto….). emilias the girl subaru’s having “do i wanna be her or be with her” weird rivalry shit with (subaru’s internalized misogyny probably also adding to this bc Obviously theyre rivals) and rem’s the girl who brutally betrays subaru personally (worlds worst homoerotic teenage friendship breakup of all time 😭😭) but then she later becomes subaru’s loyal best friend???? crazy shit.

and like emilia and rem are totaaally villainesses in subaru’s way (except emilias sweet af and misjudged by the entire world and subaru doesnt have the heart to fight rem and also shes chugging copium and trying not to think about failed loops. or about her gay feelings). toxic yuri is toxic yuri-ing. subaru doesnt wanna be explicit about it….. emilia isnt sure of her feelings other than stuff like caring a lot abt subaru… and rem is. Rem. so theyre all in gay situationship limbo HAH.

also as an afab person too rip subaru for also having periods while the whole world is ending on repeat 😭😭 LMFAOO. im sure theres medieval fantasy remedies though (and rem is 1000% spoiling subaru on her period)

also no one can tell me that echidna and rem WOULDNT still be into subaru as much as they are in canon. subaru regardless of gender fascinates echidna and her greed. subaru regardless of gender is someone rem will grow very very attached to. and if anything, rem would get way more bold with afab subaru.

bc the thing with female relationships is that i feel like theres a higher level of intimacy that you gotta go to for it to be considered more romantic or homoerotic. with guys it could be like holding hands and other people might be like WOAH THATS GAY, but if girls do the same thing its like aww youre such good friends. i think rem would take advantage of her and subaru being the same sex and she’d probably keep trying like “hey um um wanna cuddle together?? in the same bed?? and bathe together teehee?? i can help do your hair and dress you up? and make lots of cute dresses for you ? :) <3 🥰 and i can even massage your bo—I MEAN YOUR BACK. YOUR BACK!!” or it’ll be like. rem gets a little too happy that her and subaru’s periods get synced up or something 😭😭 shes Not Normal (and unfortunately subarus probably a little too into that)

also unfortunately the other time a girl touched subaru intimately was satella squeezing her heart :(((( and hahahah between that and rem and emilia and later echidna…. ohhhh poor subaru and her terrible toxic yuri 😭😭 her sapphic experiences and experiences with women have not been 1000% great.

but also of course subaru is so very not normal. you have the canon typical “lol every memory is a good one <3 even rem torturing me teehee <33” and also i just think itd be funny if you as an audience is lead to believe subarus jealous of emilia and rem’s boob sizes and no. no shes just gay. shes GAY.

and stuff like everything going on with julius and otto gets recharacterized too. bc subarus a girl and the guys are guys its probably gonna get perceived more both in and out of universe in a more. Quite Literally Straightforward light. esp bc subaru’s still gonna be into reinhard and julius lbr HAH.

i want arc 3 to still be an absolute fucking disaster with fembaru. let fembaru be flawed and ugly!!!! so in my au thoughts here itd be like. subaru feels jealous and threatened by lots of people. emilia, though its subsided a bit after becoming friends and after learning a bit more abt emilia as a person. but also i think subaru could feel so so jealous of the royal candidates!! esp crusch priscilla anastasia even though subaru will 1000% think theyre bitches at first during arc 3. bc theyre such strong determined women who seem way more confident than subaru herself is…. and also im sure there’ll be complex thoughts from her on felix too bc crossdressing… gender presentation… is a complex thing for subaru.

and subaru with julius is like. “get away from emilia!!!! shes mine!!! shes MY best friend that im homoerotically codependent on and obsessive of!!!! and also youre just trying to steal reinhard’s ikemen male lead spot huh!!!!! bastard!!!! (i hate that youre so pretty too)” and everything of course blows up in subaru’s face. im sure at some point in the story subaru might get slutshamed for having all these connections to people and romantic threads (especially since shes afab) but also its like. wow shes such a stupid girl lol causing a racket.

and uh being a man beating up a girl looks a little worse due to gender roles and stuff but lot of the knights are still gonna want to go after subaru and julius is still gonna want to save subaru. :,,)))) arc 3 emisuba breakup….. worlds worst sapphic breakup of all time…. and later rem will be the one that got away also :(((((

but yeah i think in general this subaru’s connections would be a little more. subtexty with the girls bc she’d be more hesitant to be explicit. but a bit more explicit with the guys bc itll be easily perceived as romantic in and out of universe. and of course subaru i think will be flustered in different ways between the girls vs guys—with the girls its OHH GOD I CANT BE GAY I CANT BE GAY NOOOOO I HAVE A RIVALRY!!! IM SO JEALOUS OF THEM!! BUT. BUT I LIKE THEM!! OHH GOD. with the guys its OH NO. GOOD LOOKING GUYS???? FML. FML!!!!! WHERES MY MAIN CHARACTER CHARM??? HOW DO I TALK TO GUYS???? JULIUS STOP MAKING FUNNOF ME!!! >:(((

also brief note on otto bc things are probably gonna go different here qkdnd. like i definitely am of course of the opinion that otto fell in love with subaru. in every damn arc in every damn main route otto side content hes getting unhinged over subaru in a way that i think makes a little less sense if you dont view it as otto just Not Being Normal About Subaru in a perhaps vaguely homoerotic way. Possibly? Maybe? Schrodinger's relationship blues.

but subarus afab now!! and ottos still a guy!!! and reinhard and julius are friendly with subaru right, but at around arc 4 things they dont show explicit romantic interest. (i think arc 5-6+ julisuba and juliemisuba would be 👀👀👀 though.) but otto?? in a universe where subaru is a girl??? well now its more acceptable for him to be grow openly head over heels for subaru. but also its probably also more pathetic bc now its probably gonna be more obviously taken by others as otto having a Romantic crush on subaru. regardless of whatever otto's feelings are.

and subarus had her arc 3 development right. but here its like. you wanted a male character who’d fall in love with you and be loyal to you and do Anything for you???? here you go!!! but also given otto is Like That and gets worse by arc 7-8 i think hes gonna seem a bit more sinister. not that canon otto with canon subaru isnt sinister but theres different connotations to male otto paired with female subaru. bc it sort of follows straight dark romance rules, right, with the cunning possessive male love interest and the female protagonist…

i doubt anything explicit would go on between otto and subaru in an au like this bc 1. otto and his avoidant attachment LMFAO and 2. subaru and her issues also and 3. subaru in main route is Not as into otto to the same extent or degree otto is HAH.

and fembarus probably like. i think itd be funny if she was a little disappointed otto wasnt a girl 😭😭😭 but then later hes weird about crossdressing and shes like why dont you wanna do it huh 👁👁👁👁 why are you weird about it 👁👁👁👁 im staring at your glass closet right now—

and also its like. “WHY ARE YOU THE FIRST BOY TO ACTUALLY BE IN LOVE WITH ME WHAT???” which i think is hilarious but i also think it could be fascinating in terms of playing with gender!! bc otto may want to be in control of things, but hes also so subservient to subaru anyway. otto and subaru are both androgynous; otto can pass as a girl and subaru can pass as a boy. if you wanna simplify things further you could also explain this as—otto is a man who looks like a woman who’s pledged his servitude to a woman who looks like a man. very intriguing imo!!

but of course ottosuba power dynamics are Always shifting over and over like a game of tug of war, but the most common thing is that otto will bow his head to subaru but under the surface ottos trying to be in charge. that sort of thing!! and the idea of male otto servicing female subaru is an idea rezero ao3 seems to like also but :,) lets just say its not fully to my taste haha :,,))

and otto is definitely not gonna beat up subaru’s ass so easily this time around bc itd look so bad and he’d know that lmfao 😭😭

but i think theres a lot of potential to play around with gender roles and such with all of these dynamics!! im very passionate about making my genderbend au ideas as wild and layered as possible :o !!

this is all my main ideas atm (and id love to draw stuff like more drag king natsumi or fem reinsuba :) ) but yes i hope this all makes sense :D !! thanks for reading this far and thanks for the ask!!

[miquella-everywhere]

also (cuz im scrolling down ur blog and tossing in my own two cents lmao) wrt the shadow beasts, theres a lot of interesting dynamics going on with how gender plays into being an empyrean, bare with me here (only rly discussing vanilla lore implications here)

shadow beasts are given to empyreans to serve their will and attend to their needs and generally tend to form a familial bond with their empyreans. all seen shadow beasts are male, and MOST of the empyreans are female (miquella is going to come up later)

theres a subtle gender dynamic wrt how the greater will encourages/enforces agency in those it allows to be in power. marika for the most part takes a passive role, giving guidance and blessings while her (male) consort takes active action. this is also mirrored with ranni, where before she uses the fingerslaying blade, she relies on predominently masculine agents to enact her will. in this way the greater will enforces a role of feminine passivity vs male activity that is also seen in the shadow beasts. blaidd is rannis right hand man for most of her life, and similarly maliketh is the one who defeats the godskins and slays the gloam eyed queen and seals destined death. ranni first distances herself from this dynamic with the night of black knives, using ambigously gendered (as in universe the black knives are only *rumored* to be female where we can take it as Word Of God) assassins to slay the male godwyn, who participated in the war against the ancient dragons, and to free herself of her empyrean (female) flesh. this dynamic is mirrored again with radagon and renalla where radagon has the active agency of choosing his wife, who herself being a carian was an active agent instead of a passive blessing+guidance giver. this changes once caria is incorporated into the golden order, as radagons absence breaks renalla and leaves her passive.

radagon is marikas masculine alter and hes the one who has active agency, choosing to return to the erdtree, choosing to unite with marika, participating in the war against caria before marrying renalla, and then actively creating new incantations with miquella

miquella and malenia are themselves a kind of inversion of this. malenia is a female empyrean but rejects her godhood by suppressing the scarlet rot. miquella is a male empyrean but takes a very backseat passive role, guiding and instructing and providing blessing, but its malenia who enacts his will as she herself calls herself the blade of miquella. in this way malenia acts as the masculine shadow beast to miquellas feminine empyrean, where st trina is a female alter who has masculine agency as st trina is the one actively going around the lands between to give people the relief of sleep. its no coincidence that shes described as androgynous looking and shes the one who gets a hypothetical older form on st trinas torch

the two fingers, and by extension the greater will, probably saw no need to monitor the twins themselves, as the rot god was a competitor and threat to them, and malenias suppression of it to deny her empyrean nature suited them. otherwise id imagine theyd be right on that, as malenias rune is supposed to be the greatest of all if it wasnt infested with rot. furthermore, though inverted, miquella and malenia still reproduce the gendered dynamic the greater will tries to enforce over and over again, passivity vs agency, masculine vs feminine, and thus even if the haligtree succeeded, unalloyed gold is still gold. miquellas plans were most likely not considered a threat to the greater will overall, merely a threat to marikas golden order, but the greater will (who was already a part of the crucible) most likely didnt mind the order changing so long as it was still present in some fashion.

ranni is such a threat because she desires the agency of what should rightly belong to the consort she rejects having, she desires to restore the tradition of her family which did not invoke those gendered dynamics until the golden order invaded into it through radagon, and the two fingers are the tools through which that dynamic is enforced.

this is also seen in the nox, enemies specifically of the greater will, where society is led by the female night maidens and swordstresses, and the male monks take a more passive servant role, and the greater will sent *astel* to get THEIR asses

anyways thanks for reading this long ass essay, elden ring and gender and empyreans are rly interesting to me especially cuz the last active thing marika does is shatter the elden ring and shes crucified for it whereas radagon is allowed to drop down and fight you before being turned into a Literal Tool to be used (interesting commentary in this light where it implies that even the veneer of agency granted to a masculine alter or consort is itself a tool the greater will uses to enforce itself on the lands between, rannis right you have to tear the whole thing down)

👏

Tho I will have to say that it is very funny to me that the lore hammers in that Caria is a Matron style royal family and how that is apparently very "unusual" when Leyndell, and the rest of the world apparently, is lead by an eternal God Queen who is the most Female Maternal figure of all time ever lol

also it's not that the two fingers wouldn't see the need to monitor the twins as much as it is truthfully fromsoft having not idea how to write in the twins fingers and shadow bound beasts.

[thatonedeaddoll]

˚✧₊⁎ JUST A DOLL IN THE WORLD ⁎⁺˳✧༚

hee ☆ they/them ☆ 20+ ☆ leo ☆ INTJ-T ☆ 1w2

my name is toman but everyone call me hee, im kinda of a weird mix between a yan and a darling, mostly because of mental illnesses like general anxiety disorder, c-ptsd, depression, ocd, abandonment issues, paranoid thoughts and others. also im auDHD, so both autistic and ADHD. i’m under the non-binary umbrella, agender if you are asking yourself rn. yes i’m aware that i am quite feminine, i wear long nails, makeup and long hair but it doesn’t mean that im a girl, in fact im transgender as well and had my top surgery last year. im perfectly comfortable with how i look and being this paradoxal mix of very feminine presenting, androgynous body and the dream of being a puppet/doll, suit me perfectly. i don’t want nor need to change anything about that and i will never be a girl. please respect my pronouns and don’t use feminine coded nicknames with me. the only one i allow is fully reserved to my boyfriend and it will stay like that until i decide otherwise. i dnt want to disclose my age since i don’t want to be judge for how i act — childish, candide, high pitched voice n stuff ; regarding to that, the fact that it’s genuine and despite my wanting, related to being autistic and very traumatized as a child but im obviously not a minor.

also fyi : im taken by @thatonedeadboi, soon to be collared and i am in an exclusive relationship with a very jealous and possessive bf so be careful for your own good since he is a yan. i don’t have anything to offer besides friendship and good advices. you can consider me as a free shrink, if you will.

YAN MBTI : RAHL / CDDAF / CDWI / LSMT.

my anons and dm are open for general discussion, mental illness and/or queer support, but remind yourself that any misgendering, nude or shit like that will end up with you being blocked and my boyfriend probably talking to you.

DNI : all kind of queerphobics, fatshamming, kinkshamming, pedocriminal/pedos, zoophilia, racists n stuff, actual rape fantasies [im not talking abt cnc].

minors are ok to interact but keep in mind that it’s a nsfw space [blood, weapons, mature content, sexual stuff etc] so it’s up on you to be careful with what you choose to look at.

@arsneist is an actual father figure in my daily irl life and also one of my best friends so don’t missinterpret stuff, thankie.

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[trueshredguitar]

I saw your post tags about transitioning would save Hawkeye pierce and I’m very curious, say more (if you’d like)

hawkeye has a lot of scenes that convey gender nonconformity under a humorous lens. sometimes it’s scenes implying that he’s sexually or romantically attracted to men; these scenes aren’t just “haha he’s expressing attraction to men,” they’re often based around the premise of hawkeye being a wife, being a woman, being pursued/“claimed,” and a shocking amount of references to pregnancy? see: “i know you’re a general and i’m just a captain but i wanna have your baby! i’ll kiss all your stars!”

i.e. the joke being made is about hawkeye liking men but it’s RARELY phrased as him being a homosexual man, it’s OFTEN phrased as him being a heterosexual woman

and sometimes it’s simply scenes calling him a girl or making references to him being soft/feminine/emasculated. often times he will make these jokes HIMSELF and call himself an aunt, a mother, a girl, demure or other adjectives that women were socialized to aspire to in the era. his friends will often refer to him like this without any hint of mocking, just lightheartedness (trapper referring to him as “miz hawkeye”)

i apologize that i don’t have the links right now but if you go into my archive and look in my “mash” tag there are video compliations of a lot of these moments, and the compliations don’t even include all of them

also imo these moments hawkeye has a) contrast with klinger’s relationship to his femininity/gender nonconformity, as he is all about playing with outward presentation, and b) compare with margaret’s relationship to HER gender. which, margaret’s gender by itself is an absolutely wildly progressive examination of womanhood where she is allowed to be “masculine” in many aspects of her life while still asserting herself that she is a WOMAN and always will be despite what she does, or how her life, career, or personality looks. that SHE is the arbiter and determinator of her gender and not how much she keeps into the femininity box. i wish i had concrete examples of why i think this, but it’s been a little bit since i watched the show and i think it’s mostly me reading too much into things

i think also hawkeye’s disassociation issues and complex ptsd is really like. advanced in contrast to other people in the 4077th. he’s the main character for a reason and that’s because he’s the one with the deepest emotional wounds and the drunkest, promiscuous, saddest, most insomniatic doctor in the place. there had been psychological issues in place before he had been sent to korea and none of them were very cut-and-dry as we find.

in conclusion i think the fictional man with noted androgynous presentation who flouts gender conventions as well as masculine army structures and patriarchal power structures and constantly refers to himself as a woman and uses a psuedonym instead of his birth name and has very pronounced psychological issues and self-harming tendencies could be trans in 1950-whatever without good words for it, or be unable to in any way shape or form live authentically, and i think being able to be a woman would have probably made hawkeye’s life just a little bit easier. maybe transitioning wouldn’t save her because estrogen won’t airlift you out of korea but like maybe hawkeye would be a little less buffeted by the outward winds of the world. if any part of the world wouldn’t have buffeted her harder for it, anyways.

i mean, one of mash’s biggest themes at the end of the day is that we’re trapped in the time loop, a small and restrictive and violent thing set up by forces outside of our control that will hurt us if we defy them or dare to do anything the loop doesn’t already contain. and it hurts everyone, all the time, and no one knows why we keep doing it, only that we have to. and hawkeye’s the central victim of this. the time loop is war, the time loop is gender, the time loop is the american empire, the time loop is religion, the time loop is being who you are, forever, as They have forced you to be

[quillkiller]

what do you think about ludora (lucius x pandora)?

i haven’t really considered them, sorry!! i’ve seen a few of saints posts where they’ve been tagging them and i’m intrigued!! but i don’t know any lore about them other than that, so i dont really have thoughts:/

however. i am very big on lurthur (lucius/arthur) which is genuinely the only thing that’s been on my mind for days now. so let me take this opportunity to talk about my (and @sugarsnappeases ) lucius <3

my lucius is transfemme but doesn’t ever come out. she does present as sort of androgynous, but in a way that she gets away with it. she’s tall and well respected, but she has her long hair and she’s sooooo pretty. she yearns for everything bellatrix despises. they’re absolut polar opposites to me. lucius wants to be a fragile woman, someones wife, more than anything. she’s a coward bad at being a father and worse at being a husband and she’s just bad at being a man. she yearns for womanhood. to me. but will never live as one.

except for! with arthur. they’re secretely dating at hogwarts. arthur was a mix of bill and charlie back at school. he was a soft punk leftist stoner type guy. and they’re just drawn to each other and start having this secret affair behind closed doors. arthur wears his leather jacket and tells lucius that she’s so pretty. such a pretty thing. braids her hair and touches her gently. like lucius has always longed for. however! they dont communicate. lucius never actually tells arthur her deepest desires about being a woman. never tells arthur how badly she wants to be his wife. arthur treats her like this because he knows her better than anyone, but lucius never lets him all the way in. so arthur knows lucius wants to be treated gently, wants to be called pretty, wants to bat her eyelashes at him and wear pretty things. and thats enough for lucius. its as good as its going to get. they’re always doomed because lucius has to marry a woman and produce an heir. its her only duty.

they break up eventually and both of them get married. athur marries molly, which is ALSO lucius’ opposite. everything she’ll never be. she’s funny, happy go lucky, charming, pleasant— and a woman. lucius is tall, bony, lanky, unpleasant, a downright cunt— and not (percieved as) a woman. she hates molly with a passion. she’s resentful and jealous and downright nasty whenever molly visits arthur at work. because arthur and lucius both work at the ministry <3

lucius marries narcissa. narcissa who’s so similar to lucius. according to me and @sugarsnappeases. they’re both quiet, prefers being in the background, scared, timid. lucius is essentially marrying the woman he so desperately wants to be. which is so interesting in contrast to narcissas own self hatred about her position. like yeah there’s probably a small pool of pureblood witches she’s allowed to choose from, but she’s still percieved as a man and has the choice. and she picks narcissa because it’s the version of herself that’s allowed to be a woman. it’s an okay marriage at first. they sort of understand each other. but it turns more and more sour the older lucius gets, the more she pushes down her own womanhood. she resents narcissa just for being allowed to be her wife.

the affair with arthur continues because neither of them can stop. it continues for years! years!!!! and they’re still not really communicating. lucius has this entire one sided version of their affair where she’s arthurs mistress. she makes sure they’re always messing around in arthurs office because lucius wants to feel like the wife/mistress coming to seduce their husband at work. but she never actually outright tells arthur all of thus. again, arthur knows her better than anyone and makes lucius feel like herself in ways no ever has, but never completely. never fully. arthur doesn’t know about how lucius yearns to be his wife. his girl. he asks arthus to tell her she’s prettier than molly. and arthur does. always. lucius asks him to tell her shes prettier than narcissa. and arthur does. tells lucius she’s the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. lucius will dress up for arthur, wear womens underwear, silk anything, do her hair and arthur will treat her gently and worship her

so like. lucius never gets to live as a woman but she gets (almost) everything she wants from this affair with arthur. because she has her own idea about what this affair is. in her head she really is arthurs good girl. she’s made it out in her head where she’s the woman of arthurs dream. AND SHE IS !!!!!! AND ARTHUR WOULD SAY SO !!!! IF THEY TALKED !!!!! BUT THEY DONT !!!!!!!

molly gets pregnant. its fine. arthur has lucy on his lap in some weird wizard motel and tells her it doesnt matter. i’ll never leave you. i cant leave you. i’ll be here. you’re my pretty star. i’m your man. it doesn’t have to change anything.

bill is born. it changes everything. arthur falls in love at firt sight. having a kid changed arthur wholeheartedly. he looks into that baby’s eyes and he decides there and then he’ll clean up his act. hes going to be a good husband and a good role model.

arthur loves his kids more than he loves lucy, but he loves lucy more than he loves molly. he spends his days with his kids (HIS MILLION KIDS) and its enough. it fills his heart and there’s no lucy shaped void. then he goes to bed with molly and that’s when lucy comes running back into his mind again.

so they break ut off. for real this time. and arthur doesn’t come back. he wont let himself. and lucius just. goes off the fucking deep end after this.

she finally produces an heir and hopes maybe she’ll understand. she’ll see her kid and feel what arthur feels. but draco is born and lucy doesn’t feel anything. but narcissa connects with draco immediately. and lucy hates her for it. hates her for her maternal instincts and is so jealous and resentful. arthur is gone and even tho arthur never knew the full truth, it was the closest thing lucy had. the closest thing she had to feeling like a woman (which. unhealthy. and isnt fair on arthur obviously. this is not a wholesome love story). now she’s fully and completely trapped being a well respected pureblood husband, statis, a father, there’s a war at the horizon. etc etc etc .

arthur and lucy almost relapse once. years and years later. after the first war. maybe even after ginny is born. lucy is in arthurs office. and theyve just been talking. and its getting intimate. and arthur knows its dangerous territory. and hes been avoiding this. but he just cant this time. and eventually they’re so close. their lips are only inches apart. and lucy says ’i’d leave it all for you, if you asked.” and that’s. ruins everything. arthur snaps out of it immediately.

BECAUSE WHAT LUCY MEANS IS I WANT TO BE YOUR WIFE. I WANT A SECOND CHANCE AND I WANT IT WITH YOU. BUT WHAT ARTHUS HEARS IS I WOULD LEAVE MY FAMILY WITHOUT THINKING TWICE. I’D ABANDON MY CHILD. AND THATS THE THING. THEY HAVENT EVER COMMUNICATED. ARTHUR DOESNT KNOW WHAT LUCIUS THINKS SHES OBVIOUSLY TELLING HIM. all arthur hears is that lucy would abandon her son. and arthur changed when he had children. and what lucy means is i did it all wrong and i regret it and i want to be your wife.

kara had this really interesting point about lucius and narcissa being very similar in that way of not communiacting. and in being hopeless (irrational) romantics. like. lucius thinks that arthur should just know. lucy is convinced that arthur is the love of her life. that they were made for each other. and arthur should just be able to know. be able to read between te lines. lucy thought she was being romantic when she said she’d leave everything behind for arthur. BUT THATS NOT WHAT ARTHUR HEARS .

anyway. yeah. lucius gets to feel like a woman twice in her life and it’s with arthur and bellatrix. you can read about her relationship with bellatrix here and here. which to me takes place during the first war, post arthur breaking it off with lucius. it’s unbelievably unhealthy and self destructive and not dynamics i endorse! but dynamics i find interesring nonetheless <3 also tw for pseudo incest i guss because lucy begs bella to tell her she’s prettier/better than narcissa and bella does <3 because she’s also fucked up !