#he’s already annoyed about being loaned

[boowritess]

part 2 lol

so apparently it's really fucking hard to get into the SAS. and ontop of that I've been getting tiktoks of people going around an army base asking why they joined. most responses were to pay off student loans, bills, school, (someone said there's was 6 years of prison or school and *mental note for idea*), the recruiter lied or spoilt them, barracks bunny.

141 (poly?) x notsobaddasssoldier!reader

and now i can't stop thinking of soldier!reader. who really half-assed their way through everything - only doing the job for the money and to pay off student loans + they had nothing better to do.

who somehow ends up being adopted by Price (kinda like Gaz i guess ???) all because reader happened to be in the right place at the right time and saved Price's ass while managing to complete a mission the Task Force were doing.

and it's not that you saved his ass or completed the mission that makes Price go *this is mine* - it's the fact that afterwards all you can say is-

"this shit is so not worth paying off my student loans."

"oh fuck i forgot to cancel my subscription. fuckk- waste of fucking money"

- all the while a building is burning in front of you but yeah just not at all concerned about what had just happened. so price just *grabs you by the back of your neck and holds you up, claiming you as part of his task force now.*

(lol you probably can't do that irl but this is fiction sooo suck my ass.)

and laswell's just like no... they are very much still green john. way too green. no.

but it's too late. he's already introducing you to the task force. singing your praises and you're just like

"man he promised to pay off my student loans and give me food." basically how ur recruiter got ya ass.

enough said. you get the whole off the books speech, saving the world by doing things others wouldn't like. but u couldn't give a rats ass - you should but nah...

and like... you know you're the rookie... you're still green... but some of the shit 141 do you just...

"so you just gonna kidnap the wife AND the child...? right... kid, you wanna watch bluey? here..."

"and you do this often...? crazy."

but you don't exactly protest. how could you with how much you get paid. you kinda just side-eye and look away when it's geta a lil crazy. *bombastic side-eye*

and the other 141 guys - oh my days. become just as enormed as price and want to start really trying to amplify your skills. but every time, they start explaining how to do things - the best way to go about a situation or how to fight a certain way.

you pull this face. like your top lip pulls back, your eyebrows scrunch together, and there's a slight frown on your lips as they speak. like you look confused/disgusted. but you don't even realise cause-

"why're you pulling that face?" 141

"that's... that's just my focusing face..."

"oh..." 141 feels bad

then when they do take you in feild you're shaking your head no. like you haven't been around that long. what the fuck? now you're bout to infiltrate an enemy base!?!?!

"can i just wait in the car?"

"no." price

"i'm gonna vomit."

"aim at the enemy." ghost

people think that because you're suddenly in this badass task force that surely they're just using you for your assets.

they all think you're the 141 barracks bunny. and maybe you should be pissed or annoyed or grossed out. but all you can do is sigh and pause from the burger price got you, and let out a long exhale.

"fuck... maybe i can just do onlyfans or be a pornstar... shit maybe it's not too late..."

"military is bascially sex work - selling my body..."

"not that different from what i'm doing now. body being used, check. body sore in the strangest places, check."

your tone so empty, blank and nonchalant, but there's a serious look in your eyes that when you grab your phone out to maybe do a little research on how you could do that, your phone is snatched from your hand by one of the guys and they walk out the room without a second look back.

with an annoyed huff, you go back to eating your burger. but suddenly, you turn to the person who genuinely thought you were a barracks bunny.

"hey you think if i be a barracks bunny i get out of missions and shit?"

"...that's not how it works..." rando.

"fuck."

and maybe you try...

like you go to price's office and the guys are already in there, chatting about something that you should really pay attention too but you can't be assed. instead you unashamedly start to speak...

"if i suck ya'll dicks can i get out the mission?"

"no. you still have to join." gaz says amused

"even if you-" *que long sigh from price* "even if you suck our dicks."

"that's fucked up. i should've done porn."

and with the most hurt and broken-hearted look on your face, you leave the office, closing the door with a dramatic sigh. the guys just stare at the door in... confusion, amusement, and maybe arousal if ya'll dig that

idk man just gimmie more soldier!reader who just really ain't the fucked, there for money, lowkey hungry and doesn't know what the fuck is happening. kinda a pet or little sibling energy that the 141 love.

bonus*

"wait so they aren't sucking our dicks?" *soap says getting slapped in the back of the head by ghost

a/n: brain is rottinnggg. i should be doing so much other shit but... cod just consumes my brain 24/7

[vivwritesfics]

Horse Girl - LN4

High school sweethearts Lando and Y/N are very in love (she also happens to be Flo's best friend and they met through their yards) (any words you don't understand are probably just unimportant horsey terms dw about it) (also idk anything about flo's riding journey, so i made it mirror mine)

Lando Norris x reader

2.3K

"Flo," Y/N called as she appeared at the stable door. She had Gismo's bridle over her shoulder and her riding hat already on her head. "Think I borrow your martingale?"

Flo left her brush on her horses back and turned towards her friend. "I have conditions."

"Give them to me."

Flo held out her hand, checking things off on her fingers. "You clean it for me at the end of the week, you muck out for me tonight and we go on a hack."

Y/N let out a sigh. "I'm going out with Lando tonight," she said.

Being in a long distance relationship with an F1 driver wasn't easy. Y/N had to stay in England to take care of Gismo and Sooty while Lando was living in Monaco and travelling the world.

When Y/N could, she got somebody to look after the horses and spent a week with Lando in Monaco. When Lando could, he spent the week at Y/N's, visiting his family and watching her ride.

Y/N tried to spend as much time over the summer and winter breaks with him. But this year Y/N began competing Gismo. Lando travelled with her when he could during her competitions. He always had his camera with him, posting her on the jpg account.

Lando and Y/N had been friends for a bloody long time. When Flo started riding lessons, she was stuck behind a girl on a fat little pony that refused to do more than a walk. When their lesson activity had them riding side by side, Flo and Y/N became fast friends.

They went from a weekend lesson together to being at the yard every single day. They loaned the same horse, Y/N riding him for half of the week and Flo riding him for the other. Most of the time they'd be there on the same day, mucking out his stable together and cleaning his tack together. On Flo's day's to ride, Y/N was the one who sorted the jumps and picked up the shit.

When they were younger, when they'd spend all day at the stables, Y/N would sleep over at the Norris house. Flo lived closer to the yard so it just made sense.

Staying at the Norris house meant meeting Flo's big brother. Y/N had heard stories of him before, stories of his karting and his dreams of being in F1.

And then Y/N met Lando. He was the kind of boy who, when Y/N slept over, he wouldn't leave them alone. He was the annoying big brother that stopped by to make a comment on the film they were watching, steal some of their snacks and run off to play his PlayStation.

When they were teenagers, Y/N fifteen and Lando seventeen, things changed. He kept on with that whole annoying big brother image until he was around fifteen. And then he didn't care about teasing the girls - he was too busy winning in F3.

But at seventeen, he started to see Y/N a little differently. She was fifteen, almost sixteen when she watched him win around Silverstone. When he saw her afterwards, he saw her in a new light. Maybe it was that post win haze. But no, because the feelings didn't go away.

Lando waited two and a bit years before he made a move. He was in F2, then, waiting to take his place on the McLaren F1 team. Y/N and Flo were show jumping at the lower levels and Flo was Y/N's show groom for when she tried her hand at eventing.

Lando came up with every excuse in the book to join Y/N and Flo when they went eventing. He offered to drive the trailer for them, offered to groom and tack up Sooty for her. Of course, Lando had no idea what he was doing when it came to grooming and tacking up.

Flo was heavily judging her brother, but she let him come with them. He stood by the trailer, feeding Sooty mints while Y/N and Flo tacked up.

Before Lando entered F1, he knew he had to make his move. Y/N had agreed to help Flo with her horses for the night while she was off doing something unknown. It was November and Lando had just turned 19. It was now or never.

Lando made his way down to the stables. It was dark and freezing, the stables lit by floodlights. Y/N had mucked out Flo's horses and had moved onto hay. Her own horses hadn't yet been taken care of; she could deal with them once she was done with Flo's horses. Lando walked across the yard, trying to avoid getting mud on his shoes. "Y/N?" He called, looking from stable to stable.

Y/N emerged from a barn. She was in her black riding pants, mud splashed up the side. The mud disappeared under her coat and she wore a knitted beanie on her head. "Lando? What're you doing here?" She asked as she walked out of the barn with hay in her arms.

Lando let out a laugh when he saw the mud up her side. "Did you fall off or something?"

She let out a laugh as she threw the hay over the stable door. "Yeah, Sooty decided there was a gremlin hiding in the corner of the arena and freaked out," she answered as she bolted the stable door shut.

With Flo's horses done, Y/N started looking after her own. As she mucked out, Lando talked to her and gave Gismo attention. "So, McLaren, huh?" Y/N asked as she moved Gismo away from the stable door. "You excited?"

"You know it, baby!" Lando cheered. But his cheeks flushed with embarrassment and he scratched at the back of his neck. "Are you gonna come to any of my races?"

"Yeah I'll go with Flo."

But that wasn't what Lando meant. He cleared his throat and rocked on his heels. "What if Flo doesn't go to any? Will you?"

Y/N stopped and put her broom against the stable wall. She crossed her arms over her coat and turned towards her best friends brother. "What are you trying to say, Lan?" Because there was clearly something he wasn't getting across.

Lan. He loved it. He loved when Y/N called him Lan. He somehow went even more red as he looked at her. "I want you to come to my races with me, whether Flo is there or not."

Y/N's eyes went wide. "Oh holy shit, Lan. I'd love to." She looked back at Gismo. "But I can't. Not when I've got these guys."

"Let me take you on a date then, before I go."

That was five years ago. Now, everybody was waiting for the couple to get engaged.

They were in the process of trying to move in together, but that meant Y/N moving the horses with her. Trying to find a stables just outside of Monaco that wasn't over the top expensive seemed too be an impossible task. Lando was happy to pay any amount of money to have his girlfriend and the horses there with him.

But Y/N didn't want to do that. She didn't want to have to rely on Lando to pay for everything. She was going to make it to Monaco, to be there with him, on her own.

Until then they were stuck with the odd date night whenever Lando could come back to England. If Y/N could, she paid somebody to look after Sooty and Gismo while she went to Monaco or to the odd race.

"Is he meeting you here?" Asked Flo as they walked across the stables, towards where they kept their equipment.

Y/N nodded her head. "Should get here just before I'm done with Gismo," she answered. "Pretty good timing if you ask me."

Lando was an incredibly supportive boyfriend. He had to be, with Y/N supporting his Formula One career. Whenever Lando could he came to one of her shows. No matter if she was eventing or jumping or doing dressage, Lando was watching with his camera.

Flo let out a sigh as she passed the martingale to Y/N. "You know, it might actually be nice to see him," she said as she and Y/N made their way back over to the horse.

Y/N quickly got herself and Gismo ready. She led him out to the arena and mounted. She rode him around the arena, warming him up and sending him flying over jumps as she waited for her boyfriend to appear.

Boyfriend. It had been weird saying that at first. After he and Y/N had their first date Lando was whisked away into the world of Formula One. They called a lot in that time, but it was strange. Their dynamics had changed but they weren't together yet.

It was a while before they got to have a second date.

A month after the second they had their third. That was when Lando officially asked her to be his.

That was five years ago.

As soon as Lando turned up to the stables, he knew white trainers had been a mistake. Actually, bringing such an expensive car had been a mistake. But, he got out anyway, locked it, and walked to where he knew he would find his girlfriend.

Lando was in awe every time he watched her ride. He couldn't tear her eyes away as she sent Gismo flying over the jumps, throwing her hands forward to let his neck stretch.

Lando had sat on Gismo before. He was the calmer of the two horses, the only one Y/N trusted to take care of Lando.

When Y/N finished jumping and brought Gismo back down to a trot, Lando clapped. Once upon a time he had whistled for her, but Sooty had spooked and Y/N had fallen off. Lando hadn't done it since.

"Lan!" Y/N called as she steers Gismo towards him. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," said Lando as Gismo put his head over the fence, searching him for treats. When he discovered Lando didn't have any, he resorted to getting attention instead. "Missed you as well, Gremlin."

Y/N took two minutes to cool Gismo down before she jumped off. She took him back to the stable and untacked him in record time, all while Lando watched. It was incredible watching her do the thing she loved, he realised. She must've felt the same way about him.

As soon as she was done, it was time for date night. Y/N finally managed to wrap her arms around Lando, holding him close. "You're gonna stink of horses," she said as Lando squeezed her even tighter.

"I don't care," he answered before he kissed her.

Keeping one arm around her waist, Lando walked her out to the car. Her boots were muddy on his cars interior, but Lando didn't care. She could have walked shit into his car and he wouldn't have cared.

"I brought that dress you like," Lando said. Before he'd gotten to the stables he'd stopped at Y/Ns apartment to get something for her to wear.

"You're the best, Lan," she said as she sorted the music.

I won't bore you with the details of their drive to their drive to the restaurant. Once they pulled up in the car park Y/N tried her best to get dressed in the not very spacious car, since their was no way she was getting in in her state. She combed her fingers through her hair, brushing out any hay.

"Goddamn," said Lando as she stepped out the car. Y/N slipped her hand into his and she walked in.

The restaurant was nice, rather fancy. The pair shared a candle-lit Italian dinner, with music playing softly in the background. Y/N listened eagerly as Lando spoke about his last race. "I really wish you were there, though," he muttered as he finished his dinner. "I can't wait for you to move to Monaco."

"I know, Lan. I can't wait either," she replied. They were making progress. Y/N had found a stables near enough by and it wasn't too pricy. She had a key to Lando's apartment, where she was staying for the weekend while he was away at another race.

As soon as they were finished eating, Lando asked for the bill. "No dessert?" Y/N asked with a frown. Lando loved his dessert, but today he was rushing.

"Nope," Lando answered as he paid. "My trainer would kill me."

As soon as he had paid, Lando escorted Y/N out of the restaurant. He walked her over to the car, stopping half way to do up his laces.

"Thanks for tonight, Lan," she said as she turned towards him.

But, when she did, Lando wasn't doing up his laces. He was down on one knew, an open ring box in his hand. Inside of the ring box was, well, a ring. It was simple, a band with a small stone, just the way Y/N liked it. "I know we haven't moved in together yet, but I really wanna marry you."

There was a moment where Y/N couldn't answer him. She was in complete and utter shock. The only talks of marriage had been tabloid speculation, no indicators from Lando himself. "Holy shit, Lan," she said, because that was all she could say.

It wasn't a question of whether Y/N wanted to marry him. Of course she did. She wanted that more than anything.

"Holy shit Lando Norris. Of course I'll marry you."

[harleehazbinfics]

Mine, all mine.

a lucifer x reader fanfiction.

inspired by this ask: link

wc: 1728

warning: suggestive themes!!

a/n: sometimes i wish i could just give the program my brain and let it write itself. my ass is not suited for writing at extensive periods of time in one sitting.

You were a sinner, made to rot in hell for all of eternity until exorcist end your miserable souls. However, you refused to lead that fate. You disliked how other demons would underestimate you just because of how weak and fragile you looked, especially with your wings. So, you improvised, you took this to your advantage, eventually one-by-one overlords toppled over from your powers, becoming your servants or souls you feasted on. You never sought to purge sinners or become an overlord in the process for that matter, it was just that you heavily disliked being underestimated by these narcissistic souls, that you couldn’t help but put them in their place.

After decades of doing the same thing over and over again, you decided you wanted something different to do, other than manipulating and devouring retched souls all the time. With Alastor’s recommendation, you find yourself in Hell’s Hazbin Hotel, a hotel that aims to rehabilitate sinners and help them go to heaven. You didn’t oppose to the idea and if there would be sinners that find this their calling, then you’d like to support them in their endeavors, unlike your pal Alastor. Besides, it would be a free meal if some jackass just wanted to stir up some trouble with both of you around.

So, that’s what you led you here to this moment.

“—and this is (y/n), our other host, they’ve been helping with the hotel just a few months ago, despite being a busy overlord and all,” Charlie introduces you to each other.

“It’s a pleasure to meet the King of Hell himself. How do you do, my lord?” you greet with a polite smile after dipping your head in acknowledgement.

However, everything flew past Lucifer’s head when he saw your figure. You had a pleasant aura with an angelic face paired with bright beautiful wings that had him thrown in a loop. You had a kind and gentle gaze, lips a luscious shade of pink and cheeks full of life. You were simply ethereal—you didn’t look like you were from hell. You perfectly fit the standard for heaven’s angels and their winners.

“Uhh, dad?”

“Yeah, huh?!” Lucifer startles awake from his daydreaming and pays attention to his daughter. Finally realizing he was on a balcony with Charlie and Vaggie, a long way from where he was lost in thought.

“So, what do you think?” Charlie asks expectantly holding her hands together.

“Uh, yeah yeah. They look great. Say, who was that little friend you had there down there, are they also an angel?” he asks straightforwardly with a finnicky undertone.

“What? (Y/n)? No, they’re an overlord here in hell and our host. Didn’t I already say that?” Charlie replied starting to get annoyed with her dad.

“Oh, I see. They were just very beautiful looking, especially with those wings. I almost certainly thought they were an angel,” he rambles.

Vaggie and Charlie look at Lucifer stunned as Charlie starts, “What? Are you--? No, wait, dad we’re getting sidetracked. I meant the hotel! What do you think of it?!”

Then Lucifer goes on a tangent on how sinners could never be redeemed, and that they were vicious people who misused the gift that he gave them leading them here in hell. Before Charlie could fully give on getting her cause across to her father, a crash interrupts them.

They teleport downstairs and see a bunch of loan sharks barging their way into the hotel.

“Everyone! Get somewhere safe! I’ll handle this,” Vaggie yells readying her spear.

“No, my dear, leave it to me. It's time I remind everyone why I am here,” Alastor announces transforming into his demon form.

You chuckle unfurling your wings flying close to him, “Don’t forget about me.”

Lucifer ultimately shuts his mouth as he watches you dive headfirst towards one of the sharks stretching your hand out to grab their faces. You slam him roughly on the ground as his strength drains from his body. The longer you placed your hand on him the more his body crumples and dries, slowly wilting away from your touch. Leaving behind a red pulsing orb, you unhinge your jaw wrapping your tongue around it before swallowing it whole.

Lucifer’s stomach drops to his feet from the realization of his misconception of you, but he undoubtedly receives a hard-on as he can’t help but sexualize your actions. Wondering how it would feel wrapped around your long tongue and enveloped by your lips as you swallowed all of him.

He smacks himself across the face to rid himself of his thoughts and fixes his eyes on you and Alastor finishing up your massacre and dusting yourselves off. As he sees you both banter playfully, he couldn’t help but be reminded of his irritation for the male and comment towards Charlie.

“Mhm, you see? What'd I tell you? Charlie, sinners are violent psychopaths, hell bent on causing as much pain and destruction as they can. There's really no point in trying.”

She angrily huffs and yells at him, “Dad! Stop! He's defending this hotel! It may be a bit more sadistic than I'd hoped, but he's doing it for me! How come he can have faith in me, but my own father can't?”

His face crumples as he realizes his mistake. Here was his daughter trying to realize her dreams but couldn’t even support her ideas and aspirations. He was no better than those elders that shunned him away for his dreams. He finally comes clean to Charlie and apologizes to her. Finally supporting her dream and agreed on setting up the meeting for her.

But before he teleports away, he glances at you which you only responded with a light smile and nodded your head at him appreciating his help. He couldn’t help but be expectant of the next time you’ll meet again. He wished that Charlie would give him a call again soon.

The next time you met was when the angels attacked the residents of the hotel. When the matter was settled, all of you—including the help you gathered from Cannibal Town, celebrated your win in the now more spacious hotel.

While the lot of them gathered sharing drinks on one side, he saw you by yourself on the other side. He stands next to you with a grin, tapping your shoulder and asks, “This seat taken?”

You get startled from his action unfamiliar with people touching you so casually and give a flustered answer, “N-no! Please have a seat.”

He chuckles as he sits next to you, noticing how you scooted a little further away from him. He feels saddened when he was trying to be close to you, but you pull yourself away from him. He couldn’t help but comment, “You don’t need to be so distant. I’m just trying to get to know you better.”

You give him a smile and wrap your hands around your drink before answering, “Sorry. I’m just not used to people trying to come close to me at this distance, with my powers and all.”

He tilts his head cutely making you giggle and continue, “I guess Charlie didn’t tell you. I have the powers to drain demon’s powers. The longer I touch ‘em they die, and their soul becomes mine.”

He lets out a sound of understanding and mutters, “So that’s what that was.”

You look at him with you chin on your hand on the counter looking at him in interest. “Have you been watching me, your majesty?” you couldn’t help but tease.

You were not disappointed as you watch his face turn red as he fumbled with his drink while he tries to reply, “W-well, I couldn’t help but admire how strong you were. Either in a fight or just casually talking to you, you just seem to be so confident that I can’t help but keep my eyes on you.”

“You’re beautiful,” he finishes with a dreamy sigh.

“Are you hitting on me?” you ask complemented with a seductive smile.

His breath hitches as he realizes what he did, as he panics trying to save himself, “I mean! Please don’t take this the wrong way! I was just admiring— whoops!”

He accidentally drops his drink in his flustered state, with both of your fast reflexes you caught the glass together. His hand covering yours, he tilts his head not noticing anything different with himself as he holds you.

Meanwhile, you hastily place the cup down on the counter and fretted over him, “Are you alright? Are you unwell anywhere?”

“No, I’m fine. I don’t feel much different actually,” he says looking at his hands.

You sigh in relief not expecting this man to throw you off your loop. You’re so composed all the time that having this man in your proximity just destroys your braincells with how cute and charming he was.

“Actually, can we do that again?” he asks with a serious look, to which you hesitantly accepted locking your hands together for a while. As time passes on without much progress to his experiment, the more your cheeks turn into a bright shade of red that he finally catches on to.

“What’s go you so flustered all of a sudden, angel?” he teases squeezing your hand a few times egging you on.

You cover your cheeks with your other hand and tightly held his hand to make him stop, “I’ve never held hands with someone before.”

He smirks inching closer to your face, feeling his breath on you as he tried to memorize every part of you with half-lidded eyes, “Never been this close with a handsome bloke before?”

You stand from your seat, evidently towering over him from the sheer height difference then caging him in his both of his hands above him as you pinned him to a wall behind him.

“Never. Would you like to change that?” you whispered by his ear, earning a shudder from him.

“Bet,” he grins letting his forked tongue slither out of his mouth introducing itself to you while letting himself loose and held your waist. “Let’s go somewhere quiet.”

As the two of you disappeared from the group’s sights, Angel drunkenly yells, “OH, SHIT! LUCIFER’S GETTING SOME ASS TONIGHT!”

“Ewwww,” Charlie cries in disgust not welcoming the thought of his father fucking someone in her brain.

[astonmartinii]

can i pls request an insta au for max verstappen where the reader is a professor??

teacher's pet | max verstappen instagram au

pairing: max verstappen x professor!reader

redbullracing

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 708,563 others

tagged: yourusername, maxverstappen1

redbullracing: happy national teacher's day! while we say a big thank you to all the teachers around the world we give a big shout out to our very own professor y/n who finally taught max something other than racing and the world map.

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user12 omg this is so cute

maxybaby i wish we got to see more of y/n in the paddock but i get why we don't

danielricciardo happy national teacher's day y/n - i've got an apple with your name on it for the next time i see you

maxverstappen1 suck up

yourusername don't be mean maxy

user77 y/n breaking up fights in the comment section i can't

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 708,456 others

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maxverstappen1: happy national teacher's day my love !! i know how hard you work everyday, so i wanted to help out where i could (also these textbooks are unreasonably expensive)

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yourusername thank you so much maxy - we're all so grateful xx

yourstudent1 you're all of our sugar daddy now

yourusername lets not make it weird

user23 max's relationship with y/n has been the best pr red bull could've ever asked for

georgerussell63 and they call me the teacher's pet

user14 LMAO GEORGE

pierregasly not on the wholesome post bro

christianhorner geri and the kids would like to know when you're next over for dinner?

yourusername easter is good for us !

user3 not them making plans in the comments

yourusername added to their story

[caption: weekends off with you]

danielricciardo added to their story

[caption: when did air max become a school bus?]

yourusername

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yourusername: end of semester trip to zandvoort !! these guys annoyed me all term but in the end they deserve everything - plus points for max winning his home race xx

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maxverstappen1 i don't know what you mean about them being annoying - they were angels, i do wonder where all of my champagne went though ?

yourusername they're students they'll take any free alcohol they can get

yourstudent1 love you max - can you pay off my student loans?

yourstudent2 and mine?

yourstudent3 and mine?

yourstudent4 and mine?

yourusername he didn't even pay off mine he's not going to pay off yours and STOP TRYING TO MAKE MY BOYFRIEND YOUR SUGAR DADDY

user46 wtf is happening in this comment section

maxverstappen1 added to their story

[caption: max u can have ur phone back if you pay off our loans]

yourusername added to their story

[caption: i'm never taking them anywhere ever again]

maxverstappen1

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maxverstappen1: happy anniversary my love - you're a massive inspiration to me and keep me going despite being so busy yourself, you have so much knowledge and love and patience (your students are insane) xx

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yourusername i love you maxy xx

danielricciardo haps anniversary you two - double date soon?

yourusername done.

maxverstappen1 done.

redbullracing congrats parents

yourusername

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yourusername: happy graduation to my class !! you guys have given me hundreds of grey hairs, sleepless nights and a coffee addicition, HOWEVER, i'm so so proud of all of you and can't wait to see what you do in the future (stop asking my boyfriend to pay off your loans)

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yourstudent1 i miss you already :(

maxverstappen1 was an honour to help give out degrees to the inspiring (and annoying) next generation

yourusername thank you maxy

danielricciardo so like when are you proposing?

charles_leclerc did you just spoil her own proposal?

maxverstappen1 ur so dumb i can't

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maxverstappen1

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maxverstappen1: max verstappen-y/n and professor y/n verstappen-y/ln reporting for duty

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yourusername love you so so much

user45 OMG PARENTS

yourstudent1 do we get to come to the wedding?

danielricciardo CONGRATS MAXY ONLY TOOK YOU 6 YEARS

christianhorner congratulations you two - christian, geri and the kids xx

note: hope you enjoyed - i took a lot of creative liberty so i hope it's okay xx

[daytaker]

Chat Log: A Human Child Arrives in the Devildom

Beelzebub: I don’t remember. Beelzebub: I don't remember that either. Mammon: Oi, Beel, what the hell are you saying? Satan: That isn’t Beel. It’s “the new human exchange student”. Mammon: Why are ya sayin’ that in quotes? Satan: You’ll see. Mammon: The hell does that mean?! Beelzebub: I fell. Beelzebub: I fell out a tree and then I was here. Lucifer: Satan, Asmo, Beel. I thought I said to look after the human child. Why is it sending nonsense in the chat? Asmo: It can’t talk, so we’re asking it questions out loud and having it answer like this! Lucifer: Why did you not create a new chat where you could interrogate it without annoying the rest of us? Satan: Convenience. This chat already existed. Mammon: Whoa whoa whoa, did you say human CHILD? Why the hell did you guys recruit a child? Lucifer: We didn’t. Something appears to have gone wrong in the summoning process. Barbatos is attempting to resolve the issue as we speak. Mammon: Is the kid still in the chat? Asmodeus: Yes, Beel loaned it his phone. Mammon: Hey kid, ya like ice cream? Beelzebub: Yes. Mammon: Well, I got a massive chocolate cone for any human kid who’s willing to come hang out around the central plaza for a few hours. Demons’ll pay good money to get a look at a genuine human child.  Mammon: Hey, Asmo, is it cute? Beelzebub: They want me to tell you I'm not going anywhere with you. Asmodeus: Yeah, leave the poor thing alone! It probably misses its parents! Asmodeus: And yes, it’s adorable! ♡ Mammon: Good, folks’ll pay more for that. Leviathan: Whaaaaaat? Sorry, just backread, but wow! You guys isekai’d a BABY to RAD? LOLOLOLOL Beelzebub: I’m not a baby. Lucifer: I apologize for the delay in sending this message. I was occupied with Diavolo and Barbatos. Lucifer: Mammon, if you take that child out in public and it gets eaten, I will flay you alive. Beelzebub: Do demons eat kids? Mammon: Yep. Mammon: They’re pretty freakin’ delicious too. Way better than old people. Mammon: ‘Cause they’re softer. Lucifer: Shut up and listen. Lucifer: Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem as if this issue is going to be resolved as quickly as I had hoped. Lucifer: Mammon, if I leave you in charge of the human until tomorrow, do you think you can keep it alive? Mammon: What? Why me? Ain’t Asmo and Satan there already? Lucifer: I hesitate to entrust a child to either Asmo or Satan for any extended period of time due to certain personality defects each of them possess. Asmodeus: Rude!!! Mammon: What about Beel? Lucifer: Beel would certainly eat it. Mammon: …Yeah, I guess that’s fair. Lucifer: Satan, Asmo, Beel. Please take the human to the school gates and wait for Mammon to retrieve it. In the meantime, Diavolo has graciously offered to lend it the D.D.D. he had prepared for the original transfer student, so stop by the dean’s office to pick it up. Asmodeus: Fine, we're going. Mammon: I really gotta do this, huh? Lucifer: Yes. Mammon: :( Leviathan: LOLOLOLOL!!! This is hilarious! Lucifer: Don't think I've forgotten about you, Levi. I'd like you to prepare a few dishes Barbatos says are in vogue with human children. Leviathan: Wait, are you making me its personal chef? Mammon: Ha! Serves ya right! Leviathan: Shut up, Mammon. Lucifer: Macaroni and cheese. Lucifer: Chicken tenders/nuggets (in the shape of dinosaurs, if possible) Leviathan: Dinosaurs? Lucifer: Apple juice. Lucifer: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Lucifer: French fries. Lucifer: Cheese pizza. Leviathan: Do I have to make all of this right now? Lucifer: Chocolate chip cookies. Lucifer: Human-world grapes. Leviathan: Am I being trolled right now? Lucifer: Absolutely not. Prepare one dish immediately using whatever ingredients we already own. Lucifer: Human, if you are still here, I would like to extend my deepest apologies on behalf of the Royal Academy of Diavolo for this unfortunate mistake. Lucifer: I hope we are able to resolve this in a timely manner.

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 31

ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 28, part 29, Part 30

“Where’s Steve,” Dusitn asks Robin immediately after walking through the Family Video doors.

Robin looks up from the customer she’s checking out, already looking a little annoyed. But that could have been from the customer and not him. He hopes it’s not him.

“On his break, why?” She returns her attention to the customer, sliding the tape across the counter with a receipt. Very pointedly saying, “Don’t forget to be kind and rewind.”

The customer walks out of the store, leaving it empty except for the two of them. “I have an idea to help Eddie, but it involves his house.”

“What’s the idea?” Robin pushes herself up on the counter, spinning around so she’s facing him.

Dustin pulls out a notebook, a full pros and cons list already at the ready. With details of why this plan needs to happen, and why it needs to happen soon. Why it is the best plan and a rebuttal to every single argument Steve could have.

“Oh Jesus, what the hell is that?” Robin asks.

“Just the plan.”

Steve comes out of the break room, registering that Dustin is there and that he is holding a notebook.

“What is it this time?” he groans. Walking in front of the counter and leaning back next to Robin. Crossing his arms, ready to veto.

“I need you to loan two of your rooms to Wayne and Eddie.”

“What?” Steve asks surprised. And confused. Robin looks the same.

“Yeah,” Dustin takes a quick glance at his notebook, finding the best place to start. “Wayne was over at my house the other night having dinner and my mom had brought up how nice it would be for Eddie to go home to his own bed. Which is currently split in two in a biohazard area that no one can enter. And Wayne hasn’t found them another place to live yet, and Eddie shouldn’t be discharged to a motel. So,” he pauses. For a mix of dramatic effect and in the hopes that they might fill in his next sentence.

“So, you want Steve to let them stay in his house until Wayne can find a place,” Robin finishes his sentence.

Dustin nods. “Exactly.”

Steve thinks about it, scratching at his jaw. “I mean, I could probably do it. I’m not sure they would accept it though.”

He was honestly not expecting Steve to accept that fast. The notebook almost feels foolish now. “Why would they not? They need a place to stay, you have a big house that no one other than you lives in half the time. It’s a good plan.”

“On paper, but that doesn’t mean they’ll accept it.” Robin looks at Dustin with an empathetic expression.

Steve extends one of his hands toward Robin in agreement. “Eddie says that Wayne can be stubborn when asking for help. Or accepting it. Something big like this might take some convincing.”

Dustin doesn’t remember Eddie saying that during one of their visits.

“When did he tell you that?”

“I don’t just visit him with you, you know,” Steve says like it makes perfect sense.

“Yeah, he spends so much time at the hospital now,” Robin teases. Bumping her shoulder into Steve’s.

Steve shoves her back. “Shut up.”

“Anyway.” Dustin chooses to ignore whatever that was about. “This took a lot less convincing than I thought it would.”

“Yeah, well,” Steve shrugs. “I already let Mrs. Mayfield stay with me when she was looking for a new place to live. And Robin’s parents while their house was being fumigated. Not the first time I offered this.”

Still, these were people he didn’t know as well. Or maybe knew a bit more than Dustin was expecting. He wanted Eddie and Steve to become friends. Was begging for it before spring break. It must have happened sometime along then. Dustin thought that they were just being civil. Against a common goal and then would part their separate ways.

But he was glad that they got past the size of their persona’s and saw the people underneath. They would be really good friends if they would have done that a lot sooner. Now they can be, he guesses.

“And I have the garage set up as a gym, so Eddie can do his physical therapy exercises in there. Plus, my parent’s giant ass tub if he can’t stand long enough for the shower.”

“You could also fill in the pool,” Dustin adds. Making a few notes in his notebook. The title now scribbled out. Replacing, “Ways to Convince Steve,” to “Ways to Convince Wayne.” “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it filled.”

Something about Steve suddenly becomes cagey. Staring off in the distance and his smile wavering. “Yeah, maybe.”

Dustin’s really excited about this now. Realizing that this could be good for all of them. Steve would finally have some people living in his house for more than just a night. Have people looking out for him, Dustin assumes, when things get bad. Instead of Steve just suffering with it alone. And Eddie and Wayne would have some very nice beds to sleep in.

Then there’s the way it would benefit Dustin. Instead of having to drag Steve out of his house to go to the hospital every day, he could just stay there. Watch over both Steve and Eddie, under the same roof. Temporarily. But it might put the constant worry in his mind a rest.

The nightmares haven’t exactly gotten better as Eddie got better. Vines and bat bites morphing into endless wires and ripped open stitches. Fears of bleeding out in a place that no one will find him changes into dying in the place that was meant to save him.

Nothing ever ends, it just changes. From one thing to the next for the rest of his life. Seasons change and time moves on, but part of Dustin stays trapped in that November where it all started. A younger version of himself trapped behind bars and waiting to be saved. Slowly coming to the realization that it never will be.

Dustin is forever changed. So are these people around him. They will never get their lived back on the tracks they were before the upside down caused a permanent derailment.

If parallel dimensions can really exist, then who’s to say whether there is one where none of this happened. Where Dustin grew up with the innocence a twelve-year-old should have. And nothing caused it to break too soon.

But if that was really true, he wouldn’t have the people in his life he did today. Was innocence so worth it to lose this family he had?

He watches as Robin and Steve have to go back to their jobs when a customer walks through the doors. Moving seamlessly around each other to do their job in the most efficient way possible. Having silent conversations with their eyes and micro expressions. Before turning back to Dustin in near unison as soon as the customer leaves.

“So how are we going to convince them?”

tag list (capping at 100, only 1 spots left): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,

@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,

@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,

@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,

@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,

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@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,

@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores

[stories-and-chaos]

Shrike: Drinks with Mimzy

[Hazbin Hotel reader insert as Alastor’s “darling life and death partner” Ace x ace relationship, both parties are moderately sex favorable.]

[One shot, word count 1587. Cw: aphobia, alcoholism, cursing]

——————

The day after Lucifer’s visit, you went hunting. Not for souls or deals. Or…well one soul and in particular. And you didn’t intend to make a deal with this one. It took some time, checking various bars and clubs. You didn’t know which ones she was likely to frequent nowadays; being an Overlord didn’t give you much chance to go bar hopping with girlfriends.

So it wasn’t until early evening that you found her. Sitting at the bar, clearly tipsy, nursing another glass of whiskey, and bitching to the clearly annoyed bartender was Mimzy. You watched her finish her latest glass. “Gimme another one a these sugar.”

“Make that two, cher.” You came up next to Mimzy and slid a bill to the bartender. He looked even more annoyed at the idea of there being two whiny bitches at his bar but he got your drinks. “Thanks cher,” you said with a smile.

Mimzy glared at you. “Ugh, the fuck do you want?” It didn’t stop her from grabbing the drink you paid for.

“What, I can’t buy my friend a drink or five?” You expected hostility but damn. This seemed excessive. Fortunately you knew the way into her good graces: free drinks.

“Friends?!” she growled. “You come here saying we’re ‘friends’ after what your husband just pulled on me?!”

You sipped your whiskey, doing your best to let her fury wash over you. “From what I saw, Alastor pulled you out of yet another situation, and told you to take off because your problem trashed the place.”

“Like those sharks made much of a difference to that tacky joint. If anything I did you bastards a favor, free demolition.” She laughed nastily and finished her drink. You caught the bartender’s attention and nodded to Mimzy. You slid him another bill as he supplied her with another glass; it was high enough denomination to cover whatever she’d had already.

“Maybe you have a point, cher.” Not really, but you didn’t want her to close you out yet. You needed her less hostile, at least for now. “Here, let me treat you today Mimzy. Make it up to you.”

“Oh you know just how to butter me up doll.” The curvaceous blonde gladly accepted. If she owed 50 grand to loan sharks, doubtless she had tabs at every place in the city that sold alcohol. Which made up the majority of businesses in Hell.

You drank sparingly, just enough so she felt you were having a grand time together. You had the bartender keep supplying her refills; he seemed in a better mood now that someone else was dealing with the sloshed demon.

You let her bitch about everything in her afterlife and responded with soothing noises. In the end, you wanted to know how much shit she was in. This was the first time Alastor had sent her packing; you weren’t sure how she would react. You hadn’t missed the pink mark on her back on her shoulder blade. It hadn’t been there the last time you’d seen your old colleague.

Once she paused in her rambling, you asked about the mark. “I never expected you to get a tattoo, cher. What convinced you?”

The drinks and your apparent sympathy were enough to keep her talking, especially if it was something else to bitch about. “Ugh, that. Had to get it for work. One of the club owners works for someone that works for someone that works for one a’ the Sins. Greed’s head honcho.” She sipped her drink, starting to slow down as she got drunker. “The Sin bastard likes to mark any Sinners working for him, like some horny creep.” She downed the rest of her current whiskey.

“‘Course if you and your beau were properly grateful. I wouldn’t be dealing with this shit.” She pointed at you, empty glass in hand, her eyes looking unfocused and angry. The bartender moved to give her another drink but you made a cutting motion. This was the first time you heard anything of this.

“Grateful for what?” You asked, unable to help yourself. You honestly couldn’t remember what she could be talking about.

She looked at you, black and pink eyes wavering. “Fucking, of course!” You could only tilt your head. “Jesus Christ, it’s been a century and you’re still clueless? It ain’t cute anymore dollface.” Mimzy set her glass down harshly. “Sex, Y/N. S. E. X. If me and the gals hadn’t said anything, you and Alastor woulda never figured it out. You’d probably still be frigid little virgins in Hell.”

Your jaw dropped as you felt a cold spike in your core. You actually had to look down to make sure you hadn’t been stabbed. No, it was just words from someone you’d still thought of fondly. The alcohol didn’t excuse Mimzy; if anything it made her more honest.

Has she always felt like that? No… you remembered her saying she thought you and Alastor were good together. That she wanted you both to be happy. Somewhere in all those decades between then and now, things changed.

She was smirking as you processed all this, glad that she managed to hit you where it hurt evidently. In the way only people who are hurting can do, she kept pushing. But she didn’t realize what exactly hurt you. “You’re probably both terrible in bed too. Lemme guess, you just lay there while he tries to remember where to stick it?” Mimzy kept going as you stayed silent.

As her insults grew, the betrayal of a friend gave way to comedic disbelief. You started chuckling, then you were outright laughing, pounding your taloned fist on the counter. It was a good thing you had finished your drink because all the glasses around you jumped.

“What the fuck is so funny?” Your laughter finally got her stream of rudeness to stop. The indignant look on Mimzy's face just made you laugh harder, your feet kicking in glee.

“Oh, damn, I’m gonna pee myself. Fucking Hell Mimzy! Oh fuck, I needed that laugh.” You wheezed and took deep breaths until you could look at her reddened face without laughing. “Cher, you got one thing right; I still don’t understand all this nonsense about sex. Alastor still doesn’t either.

But that’s never mattered. I’ll never understand why you people think that’s so important to us. Maybe we wouldn’t have ever done it. I doubt that but we also would never have cared. You and so many others are so obsessed with sex that you can’t even imagine a relationship without it! It would be sad if it wasn’t so hilarious.”

Mimzy blinked at you, confusion, anger, and drunkenness warring in her expression. “Even now, you don’t get it! Cher, you insulting us about sex didn’t hurt. You’re a friend and my friend thinking I was stupid hurt.”

You ran your hand down your face. “Mimzy, cher, I’m just going to back up my darling here. If you want to redeem yourself, you’re welcome at the hotel. But don’t come calling otherwise. Especially if what’s his name, Mammon? The Greed Sin, comes after you. We’ll gift wrap you for him before we tussle with a Deadly Sin.”

Pulling the bartender aside, you paid for her outstanding tab, along with tonight’s drinks and a generous tip. “I paid your tab here, so you can call that payment for that talk years ago. Find me when you decide to not be a bitch.” You tucked one of your feathers into her headband. “Au revoir cher.”

Mimzy snatched the feather out and crushed it in her hands. “I don’t need you or him. I don’t need your hotel! I hope those angels kill all of you next Extermination Day, bitch!”

Back at the hotel, Alastor was in the parlor, listening to Charlie’s plans for her visit to Heaven. “Soooooo, how did it go?” he asked in a sing-song tone once he spotted you. You’d told him your plan to find Mimzy before leaving.

“As well as could be expected. I don’t think she’ll bother us anymore. I told her we’d gift wrap her for whoever came looking if she tried something like yesterday again.”

“Hmm, but that would be such a waste of good gift wrap.”

Later that night, in your suite, you went into more detail about your conversation. You were on Alastor’s lap, venting your hurt and tears. “I know she’s gotten worse in Hell, that she’s been using you, but I thought she was still our friend.” He let you get it all out, handkerchief at the ready when you were.

“I thought so as well, cher,” he said quietly. “I hate to admit it but Husk pointed it out to me. We can’t have her interfering though.”

“No,” you said simply, drying your eyes.

Alastor looked down at you, that sharp edged smile just a bit softer than usual. “I think I know what can help you for now, my dear.” With that he stood you both up and started humming, a question in his eyes. Your voice felt a bit hoarse from crying but you hummed along, practice making you harmonize. Then he swept you into a dance.

After a few numbers, you felt up to singing. The two of you danced until you were tired (Alastor probably could have kept going but he didn’t have an emotionally stressful day). That night you fell asleep in his arms, glad you’d married someone that understood you like he did.

——————

A/N: this is more than a little self indulgent on my part. My frustrations with aphobes knows no bounds. Kinda prompted after discussion with a therapist concerning aphobia and the nonsense acespec people deal with. Never forget how valid you are. 💜🤍🩶🖤 💚🤍🩶🖤 Cheers darlings!

@whitewolfsoldat @edgyboi10000 @ch3sire-blu3 @clearly-awkward @badatpunz @bengewatch @chewbrry

[rollinouttahere-writes]

I SAW YOUR POST AND I ALSO LIKE PAULIE SM!! HE'S JUST SO CUTE <3 With that, I rlly hope u write a one shot of how he would react with a s/o whose love language is physical touch. Hope u have a nice day and I rlly rlly am a big fan of your writings, you're so amazing 🥹💗

Touchy

Paulie x GN!Reader

1k words

Dating someone like Paulie was an interesting experience. He was far from the most conventional boyfriend you’ve ever had, but that helped to endear him to you. It was funny how flustered he would get over the littlest things. Wrapping your arms around him would turn him bright red. Kissing his cheek would have him flailing and acting like you just accosted him, only to gently trace his fingers over where you kissed him once he thought you weren’t looking.

Simply put: he’s adorable.

There was a slightly less cute quirk of his. It leaned more into being funny. His ongoing evasion of debt collectors was more than a little amusing. It could get annoying when he abruptly ducked out in the middle of a date because he got spotted, but you’ve learned to roll with it. Watching him jump through hoops and hide in odd places never failed to make you chuckle, so you found it easy to forgive the transgressions. 

Tonight, though, it did scare the hell out of you. It was late, and you were just about to head to bed when you heard the window in your kitchen get opened and saw someone coming through it. You damn near cracked Paulie over the head with a frying pan before you realized that the person crawling through your window like a raccoon was actually your boyfriend and not a robber. He’s lucky you recognized the way that light reflected off his goggles. 

Unsurprisingly, his reasoning for doing this was because he was on the run again and hoped to lose the loan sharks by hiding out in your home until they either passed or gave up for the night. You were happy with this, despite the late hours. It wasn’t often that you could get Paulie to overlook the intense scandal of it all to visit your home in the late night hours like this. You would have fun teasing him about this later.

For now, though, you contented yourself with cuddling up to him on the couch with your legs thrown over his lap. Your arm was propped up on the armrest, with your chin resting on your fist. Your other hand busied itself by playing with the hair on the nape of Paulie’s neck.

Paulie had one of his arms resting on the back of the couch, and his other hand rubbed up and down your thigh absentmindedly while complaining about his debt as if he hadn’t been the one to take out those loans and is the true victim in this situation. “I keep telling them I’ll pay it back when I have the money! I don’t get why they can’t just wait.” Paulie huffed, exhaling the smoke from his cigar.

“How long have you kept them waiting now?”

“That’s irrelevant!” Paulie’s face tinted red and he shot you a glare that was dripping with embarrassment.

The glare does nothing to intimidate you. You chuckle and start gently scratching at his scalp, making him shiver under your touch. He groans and makes a half-hearted attempt to swat your hand away. He grumbles under his breath, “Quit trying to seduce me.”

That made you laugh. “Trying? Given that you’re my boyfriend, I think I’ve already succeeded in doing that.” 

His hand moved from the back of the couch to clamp over your mouth. Much to your amusement, his ears were tinged red. “You know what I meant!” Smoke puffed out of his mouth as he huffed. You smirked against his hand, and his eyes narrowed at you, wondering what you were up to.

Covering his hand with your own, you gently kiss the palm of his hand while maintaining direct eye contact with him. His entire face and neck turned ruby-red and he wrenched his hand away like you just bit him. He sputtered for a moment before shouting in a humorously high-pitched voice, “You harlot!”

You cackled at his embarrassment. Making him flustered was the highlight of this relationship for you. The hand you were previously using to play with his hair moves and pinches his cheek affectionately, “Calm down, baby. I’m just teasing you.”

“I know! That’s the point! You’re always teasing and trying to tempt me like a siren!” His voice was loud, but lacked any real weight behind it. Paulie was the definition of all bark, no bite. For you, at least.

Another smirk spread across your face. You lean forward, “You can’t mind it that much, sweetheart.”

Paulie grumbled and averted his eyes, “Of course I mind. Why else would I be telling you off?”

“Are you sure? Because the fact that your hand is still stroking my thigh is sending me mixed signals.”

He stiffened and looked down. His grip on your thigh tightened, but he distinctly didn’t let go. Paulie drummed his fingers on your thigh and ground his teeth as he floundered to save face, “It’s not my fault you’re walking around looking like this. You put your legs in my lap. What else am I supposed to do? Especially when you’re wearing such tiny shorts. They aren’t covering a damn thing.”

You cocked your head to the side, feeling confused as to what he’s talking about. “Shorts?”

It was now Paulie’s turn to look confused. “Yeah, shorts. You’re definitely not wearing pants right now.”

“I was just about to go to bed when you came in. This is all I wear to sleep.” Grabbing the hem of your oversized sleep shirt- that you stole from Paulie- you lift it up, revealing that you’re just wearing underwear underneath. 

The cigar in Paulie’s mouth falls onto the couch as he stares at you slack-jawed. Before you can so much as blink, he’s yanking your shirt back down while shrieking like a scandalized grandmother, “Harlot!”

Again, you laughed at his distress. You loved every second of his extreme reactions. It’s not as if he actually disliked any of this. Afterall, he hasn’t thrown you off his lap yet. Or let go of your thigh, either. He wasn’t fooling anybody, much less you. He loved this just as much as you did, he just hasn’t figured out how to say it out loud yet.

[jaebeomsbitch]

Out Of Control (R.R.)

Summary: After years of working for Roman you're finally fed up by the late night calls and verbal abuse. You put Roman in his rightful place.

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, humiliation kink, degradation, verbal abuse, dryhumping,

A/N: The stills of Kieran innocently looking up in the actors on actors really wrote this

You were Roman’s first personal assistant. He usually chose to run by himself whereas his siblings had their assistants two steps behind them. He’d joke that they were corporate slaves and you were lucky to be working under him with that knowing smirk on his face. He had a certain aversion to you, something about your presence rubbed him the wrong way. You couldn’t stand him either, always telling yourself it was only temporary while you paid off your loans. Only a year until you finish, you promised yourself. 

Only one more year of being antagonized by Roman. He has this annoying habit of calling you at two or three in the morning, demanding you hand deliver some documents to his penthouse. He threatens to fire you if you don’t comply. Only one more year… twelve more months with that insufferable bastard. You stomp toward the elevator, giving the doorman a nod. He’s all too used to seeing you come in pissed off, steam practically blowing out of your ears. As the door dings open you try to remind yourself to keep calm. Don’t snap at him, he’d probably find pleasure in it. 

“God no, they’re soulless. I think every time they're on their phone they’re spilling company secrets. Shut the fuck up, no- No. Let me fucking talk Jesus christ. I don’t fucking– Fuck you!” he hangs up his phone call, startled seeing you at the entrance. He motions for you to come in, doesn’t even bother to greet you. You huff, handing him the documents then turning away, prepared to leave. 

“Wait,” He says, hand up in the air. You can’t help but roll your eyes, god even his voice was annoying. It was like nails on a chalkboard. 

“Yes?” You respond, voice a little more aggressively than you liked. You wanted to appear collected in front of Roman. Knowing he’d use your weaknesses against you. 

“These are the wrong documents, I asked for 12-15. This– you’re fucking kidding me right?” He scoffs, his anger seeping through the room. 

“Okay,” You nod stiffly, he definitely didn’t ask for twelve through fifteen but you knew how he operated. He’d always try to push your buttons, ask for one thing and then demanding the other. You learned to keep a copy of anything that’s relevant to him at the time. You look through your bag, pulling out the new documents. 

“I also need the documents for the LA contract,” He says, knowing you won’t have those. He hasn’t dealt with the LA branch in almost a year. 

“Right now?” You ask, already knowing how he’s gonna reply. 

“No fuckin’ tomorrow, yes right now. I can’t sit around and wait for you,” He sneers, a facial expression you’re all too familiar with. 

“Give me an hour, need any other document?” You hold your tongue.  

“An hour! What type of assistant are you? Jess would’ve had those documents prepared yesterday. You’re fuckin’ useless, maybe I should fire you,” He taunts, his finger pointed at you. 

“You know what, fuck this! I fucking quit asshole,” You yell at him. Finally at your breaking point, the late night calls, the beratings, the sexual remarks all too much. His eyes widen, not expecting you to snap. You’re always so calm and collected it honestly scared him. He always wore his heart on his sleeve, unable to mask his true feelings. 

“Yeah good riddance,” He gives you a half wave, not looking at you. He pretends to study the documents you handed him, he tries to keep his fear down. Another person in his life gone. 

“No- that’s not how this is gonna work,” You enunciate every word, your anger pushing you forward. The years of holding in your pent up emotions finally spilling out. 

“You’re a selfish fucking brat, you call me at three in the fucking morning for documents I know you won’t fucking read because you’ll make me read them for you. You’re a fucking piece of shit Roman– Worse. You’re worse than a piece of shit, I think somewhere deep down inside you know you’re nothing. You’re just the cowardly little boy of a billionaire. If only another fucking sperm won huh? Maybe they’d be more fucking competent than you,” You deride. 

He looks at you mouth wide open, he’d only ever been spoken to like this by one other person. However, you were more vile and a whole lot less controlled. He notices the way you shake in anger, shit… why was this kind of hot? He clears his throat, trying to drop the documents in his hand on his lap inconspicuously.

“You’re fired, you can leave,” He tries to say in an even tone but his voice cracks a little. You take your time to study him, “No– I’ve taken and taken verbal abuse from you for fucking years now. The least you can do is the same. I’m fired anyway right? Call your security if you’re so scared,” you mock. 

“You are the worst type of human, Roman, for someone who talks about his dick all day he can’t fucking use it. I’ve heard the countless stories of scared little Roman pushing women off of him. If you can’t get hard then maybe stop fucking talking to me about your dick. God even your fucking cock is useless just like you,” You sigh, throwing your hands in the air in frustration. 

“You seem a little obsessed with my cock for someone who doesn’t want to hear about it,” He chuckles to himself. 

“Do you think I’m stupid or that I haven’t noticed? Take the fucking papers off your lap Roman,” You gibe. 

“Is this what you like? Can’t fuck your girlfriends because they don’t tell you how fucking disgusting you are? You’re a pathetic excuse for a man,” You take a few steps closer, hovering above him, your breath coming out in puffs. He sits there dumbfounded, at your confidence. You are right, he’s painfully hard under the papers, precum already spilling in his underwear. You forcefully take the documents out of his hand, throwing them on the table. 

“You like being reminded how you mean nothing to the world? If I killed you right now, you wouldn’t even make an ATN headline,” You snarl, pushing his shoulder into the seat. He pants, unable to form sentences, random syllables spilling out, he seems like he's under a spell. 

“God, what if someone found out hmm? They figured out how the ‘illusive’ Roman Roy likes to be pushed around in bed? That his little dick gets hard at people degrading him?” You push your fingers into his chest. His eyes are half-lidded, mouth open, breath rushing out. 

“Get on the floor,” You command, walking over to sit on his couch. He sits there dumbfounded for a second, blinking in confusion. 

“Are you fucking stupid? Get on the floor right now Roman,” you say more forcefully. He slowly climbs out of the seat, sitting on his knees. He looks down, embarrassed but he can’t fight your command, your voice has him under some sorcery. That familiar cadence in your voice brings him something he craved. 

“Crawl to me, like the disgusting fucking dog you are,” You order, crossing one leg over the other. There is a certain pleasure in watching your annoying boss crawl to you on all fours. His head unable to look up at you as he crowds your leg. He hangs his head in shame, his humiliation seeping in as his cock presses against the zipper on his slacks. He can’t help but shudder at the feeling. 

“Is this what you wanted, hmm?” You say sarcastically. 

“You acted like a spoiled fucking brat so I can treat you like this? If you wanted my attention you could’ve just asked, like a big boy. So tell me, is this what you wanted?” You ridicule. He can’t look up at you, the words stuck in his throat. It feels like he has honey in his mouth. 

“For someone so chatty you sure are quiet now,” You roll your eyes, uncrossing your legs, and leaning forward. You grab his chin in your hand, forcefully pulling him to look at you. His big hazel eyes are watery, he almost looks innocent, but you remember all those times he’s called you nasty names, all his insults. 

“Answer me moron,” You bare your teeth, face centimeters from his. 

“Y-yes,” He sighs, finally maintaining eye contact. 

“‘Yes’ Yes what?” You mock him. 

“Yes, I-I called you here to make you mad,” He admits, his eyebrows furrowing making his face look somehow even more innocent. 

“What did you want to happen Romulus?” You use his full-name knowing it’s only reserved for when his father is really mad at him. It feels foreign in your mouth and yet perfect. You feel powerful as he shivers under your piercing gaze. 

“I- d’know,” He slurs his words, trying to look away from you. His embarrassment hanging heavy as your prod. He truly didn’t know what he wanted… He just wanted to be dominated. You seemed like the perfect person. You were cool and collected with a sea of rage hiding underneath the surface. He was attracted to you the first time he saw you working for Kendall. Something about stealing his brother’s prized possession felt good.

You slip off your shoe, putting it on his couch not caring if it stains it. You press the bottom of your sole to his chest, pushing him deeper onto his knees until his ass hits the floor. 

“God you’re pathetic,” You scoff, looking at his big hazel eyes. You run your foot down his chest, he looks down following your path, you drop it to the bulge in his pants, lightly pressing against it. His breath quickens, eyes closing shut as you start moving your foot back and forth. He tries to ground himself, grabbing onto your calf, his nails digging into your skin. 

“Who said disgusting pieces of shit like you are allowed to touch me?” You push his hands away from you, his eyes opening. 

“Now, what do you want?” You ask him, crossing your arms over your chest, your foot stops, giving him a chance to think. His mouth opens and closes. 

“I- I– I–” he can’t form a full sentence as you start rubbing him through his slacks again. 

“ ‘I- I–’ Look at you, you’re all stupid already. Your underwear must be a mess, huh? Fucking useless pervert,” You smirk, enjoying the huffs of his breath filling the room. His hands twitching at his side, his cock throbbing at your words, he lets out a little sound. 

“What’s wrong? Already gonna cum? Gonna ruin your pants before you’ve even got your cock in me?” His hands grip the sides of his pants, his hips following your foot. He mewls when you stop, you drop your foot in between his thighs. 

“Be a good pup and get yourself off,” You command. He looks at you a little lost but scoots closer, he takes a tentative buck against your leg. He tilts his head back, eyes shutting at the friction, he can’t help but moan.. 

“Look at you, what would your dad think? What would think seeing his pathetic son humping his assitant’s leg like a fucking dog,” You say. 

“Ye- Yes, be so disappointed,” He moans, he bucks his hips faster, losing himself in the feeling.

“Look at you humping my leg like a bitch in heat. You’re fucking pathetic, you disgust me,” You snarl and it pushes him over the edge. His hips twitch, he bites down on your knee, his cum leaking all over his underwear, as he gasps trying to catch his breath, practically slobbering on your knee and inner thigh. 

“C’mon,” You pull him up by his armpit onto the couch. He’s shaking, this all was too much, his feelings overflowing. 

“Shh.. it’s okay,” You pull him close, rubbing his back as his emotions crash over him like a wave. He rocks himself back and forth in your arms as you soothe him, you pull him onto your lap. He nuzzles his face into your neck, breathing in your scent until he’s calmed down. Isn’t this a bitch? You have to calm him down. You’d feel much differently if this was a scene and he was your sub but he decided to take the difficult route.

“You okay?” You ask, breaking the awkward silence. He doesn’t know what to say, he needed the release, craved it but now that it’s over he’s left with that hole in his heart again. If only you both were different. If you weren’t his assistant and he wasn’t an asshole. 

“Yeah, I’m good. So good,” He scoffs, removing himself from your lap. He doesn’t look at you, walking into his bedroom and changing. After about twenty minutes of waiting you decide to leave, clearly he wasn’t emotionally mature to talk about whatever happened between the two of you. 

To your surprise you get a phone call in the morning, “Where the fuck are you, god you’re so incompetent!” Roman grumbles on the line. His words have no bite now that you know how to put him in his place. 

[french-unknown]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: luffy, zoro, nami, usopp, sanji, robin 𝐂/𝐖: fluff 𝐖/𝐂: 1.6k +

| m a s t e r l i s t | - | p t . 2 | - | p t . 3 |

Luffy lay down with you as you gazed at the stars from the Thousand Sunny. You weren't on call tonight but the frustration you felt prevented you from falling asleep so, annoyed, you had to give up the idea. The problem was that Sanji had made cannelés for everyone the day before and, not being hungry, you had hidden your in order to eat it later. Unfortunately, when you went back earlier, your dessert had disappeared and you didn't want to disturb Sanji who had already finished cleaning the dishes for the day.

You sighed as Luffy talked next to you, creating wacky stories about the clouds passing in the night sky above you. Needing solitude, you got up to leave, not without taking advantage of his inattention to search his pockets as discreetly as possible. If there was anyone on this ship who might have food on them, it was him. But the boy had nothing but crumbs so you left wishing him good night.

Arriving further, however, you saw that some crumbs had remained stuck under your fingers then, when you tried to remove them, you noticed that they had remained because of their sticky layer. Intrigued, you realized that, in addition to the food residues being sticky, they were still fresh since they were still soft and they smelled slightly of rum and vanilla. You hesitated a little in disgust but ended up placing one of the crumbs on your tongue. It was a cannelés leftovers. In Luffy's pocket.

"You ate my dessert, jerk!"

Since this morning, Zoro has been blackmailing you into washing the dishes instead of him. You weren't very happy to see a photo of you, drunk with a tomato-red face, dancing furiously with movements so random that they looked like you were defending yourself against an attack of invisible seagulls. Having lost track of that evidence after he put it in his pocket, you were determined to get it back.

When you separated in town, you decided to leave with Zoro. Saying he was wary at first would be an understatement, but he eventually relaxed even though he kept a safe distance between you two. You had tried everything to get closer: to accelerate towards him, to pass in crowds, to try to jostle him "accidentally" or to attempt a fall towards him. However, nothing helped, he always remained a few steps away from you. Growing more and more frustrated with your failure, you let yourself be left behind without a struggle as you thought of other ways to bring it within reach.

Luckily for you, you saw him stop as you passed a sword shop. Totally hypnotized by one of the exposed blades, you seized your chance and thrust your hand into its pockets in search of the coveted object. Luck may not have been so on your side, though, because you found absolutely nothing. You had to remove your hands so he wouldn't notice the intrusion, still totally shocked to find nothing.

"You expect it to be easy?" you heard him ask sardonically as he continued on his way.

As you were about to go to the bar with some of the Straw Hat Pirates, you were brutally arrested when Nami refused to give you your share of the pocket money. In front of your incredulous face, she invoked the money she had to spend to repair the material damage you had caused during a fight on the previous island. Unless you pay her the interest on a so-called "at-risk" loan amounting to 300% of course.

Shocked at having been scammed, you jumped out of the ship anyway to join the others on the road. Just because you couldn't afford a drink yourself doesn't mean you weren't going to drink! However, on the way, you saw a berry note protruding from the back pocket of Nami who was walking in front of you while talking with Usopp. So you approached the duo innocently then, when you were close enough, you reached for the note. Sadly, your hand came into contact with something firm, warm and tight that stopped your hand before it could reach the paper of the ticket. You looked down, curious, and felt a bead of sweat slide down your spine as you realized that the firm, warm thing in question was actually Nami's hand holding you in a death grip. You had just enough time to raise your eyes to see her murderous smile pointed directly at you.

"Did you really think you were going to get me?" She asked too sweetly, unsheathing her Clima-Tact. "I think you need to be reframed."

It was no secret on the boat that, before joining the crew, you made money by scamming and robbing people who came to Rain Dinners, Crocodile's casino in Alabasta. Your pickpocketing tendencies were therefore well known to the crew.

However, while you were chased by Luffy on the boat because you were holding a piece of meat, you tripped over Usopp at the bend of a hallway. Neither of you saw the other coming so he remained frozen while you found yourself on all fours on top of him. For your part, old habits die hard and, with a gesture more instinctive than conscious, you slipped your hand into his pocket to remove trifles that you had recovered. It was Luffy's cry coming closer that pulled you out of your torpor and pushed you to get up and run with your loot. But a few meters away, you felt that your thieving hand began to heat up and sting without really worrying you at the time. It wasn't until you got to the other end of the ship and your hand began to seriously burn you that you wondered what was going on when, at the same time, the captain snatched the meat from your hands before running away happily to eat his treasure safely.

For your part, you collapsed on your knees, your aching hand folded against your chest as you winced in pain. In your fall, you saw what you had stolen from Usopp fall from your pocket to land in front of your eyes. There were two small balls of an alarming red accompanied by a small note written by the hand of the sniper: "For the thieves who cannot keep their hands to themselves".

He was hesitating between two kinds of melons at the market so, with a different fruit in each hand and totally lost in thought, he continued to weigh them before making a choice. Suddenly, he jumped when he heard your laughter behind him.

"Not that I'm complaining about the pleasure of your company but how long have you been around?" he asked, surprised. "A little moment." You answered.

Having finished shopping, you returned to the boat where Sanji immediately began to store the groceries. As he listened to you talk, he felt the urge to smoke. He jammed one of his cigarettes between his lips as he retrieved his lighter from his pocket. He was then surprised when he did not find it. Without cutting you into your story, he began to look in all the pockets of his suit: those at the front and back of his pants, those of his jacket and even inside it but there was nothing there. He was however convinced to have it on him before going to the market.

All of a sudden, you offered your help. Though surprised at the offer, he was still relieved as he followed your directions and leaned towards you with his cigarette still between his lips. Your face, now less than centimeters from his, seemed almost irresistible to him as his eyes lowered inexorably to your mouth. Warmth crept close to his face and, as he inhaled, he felt the smoke rush into his lungs. Silently, he looked down further and saw your hand below his face holding a lit lighter. A lighter so familiar that it took him two seconds to recognize it; it was his.

The meal with the Straw Hat Pirates was always something. It was noisy, messy and sometimes stressful but it was still a moment of happiness and sharing among your crewmates. Despite that, your only concern at the moment was how you were going to manage to steal Robin.

You had never picked the pockets of the archaeologist so, out of pure competition, you had it in your head to steal her at least once and, unfortunately for you, her only pocket was on her chest. Impossible to steal her like that. Yet, no matter how hard you tried to find solutions on how to position yourself, how to divert her attention and put her in confidence or even what opening to use, you couldn't. The target was much too close to eye level and the fabric too close to the body for her not to notice.

A sudden and unusual silence pulled you out of your thoughts. You then realized that everyone around the table had shut up and looked at you without saying a word. Robin on her side, sitting right in front of you, had partly covered her neckline with one of her hands, embarrassed.

"If you keep staring like that, you'll soon have to paid." Nami spoke from across the table.

Instantly, a blush bloomed on your cheeks as you tried to defend yourself by stammering pitifully. Whatever you say about the rest of the meal, everyone looks at you suspiciously and you end up keeping your head stubbornly turned towards your plate.

𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @iheartamora @bontensh0e @opchara @idsmash717

[unkat]

chilaios medical au idea i have been bouncing in my head (will not be written until after my current one is done)

i am thinking of a like firefighter/paramedic story for these guys. where laios is a new shift commander/chief at a small middle of nowhere station and chilchuck is a medic from a big city who keeps getting reassigned because he is trying to recruit for a union and the company is trying to make his job unworkable/find a reason to let him go.

laios was promoted because of his work ethic and ability to teach other people about the ins and outs of emergency medicine, not because he wanted to be in charge. he is too new and disinterested in the company politics to throw him under the bus for other people, and by the time someone explicitly says he needs to fire him, he has gotten attached.

"he's reliable, does good work, and catches things nobody else here would have. i know he cussed out the family trying to get into the rig, but he had already told them no and they should be grateful he saved their daughter instead of filing a complaint! even if i were to discipline, he deserves a verbal warning and not dismissal. You were not there, and i am his direct superior."

(wins the argument and walks away trying not to hyperventilate)

also falin is a surgeon and marcille is a research fellow who abandoned her big-city super-focused projects to come out into the country and work with subpar equipment and an incompetent assistant. im not thinking like full rural hospital here, but closeish to it. could be an academic satellite hospital and she switched from like gene therapy trials to studying exposures/population/histology stuff.

shifting the touden hyperfixation from monsters->medical fascination i think would still get across the same vibes. falin is very nice and pleasant but she treats everyone nicely and pleasantly without actually empathizing with them. shes one of those surgeons who went to shadow a heart transplant in college and cried because it was so beautiful and then got a bunch of scholarships plus student loans for med school.

laios hunts and has a big appreciation for the lives of things he kills and butchering/using everything he can. then it translates to him being fascinated by the human body as an object more than as a being that is different and special from other animals that he is a part of. he is a fantastic emergency responder because of this- people are a pile of flesh that is broken somewhere, and he wants to figure out why. (this is something that I'm like. not sure if it is okay for me to include because it can be squicky/triggering. but i feel like when I'm unsure if I'm going too far that is when i am reaching the line i want to?)

the touden siblings still go hiking and mudding and spend their time off in the woods (marcille wears white shorts and sandels on a hike leaving laios to be very explicit and offering clothes to chilchuck when he offers him to join. chilchuck borrows his shirt and it is way too big, but he keeps it for a while.)

chilchuck is extra divorced. he facetimes with the girls a couple of times a week and gets them on rotating holidays. sometimes ex-mrs. tims invites him over for dinner because she feels sorry for him and her new boyfriend is also there. it's awkward but they both know he's harmless, just annoying and closed off. he smokes but has tried to quit 7-8 times. started when he was an emt and couldn't shake it because it helped him destress. he only knows how to drive well enough to pass his vehicle license renewals and still doesn't know what the buttons in his car do. the ac has been "broken" for a week before a station mechanic pushes the button to turn it back on (they should put a subway around here, stupid cars).

laios respects his experience and history of being at a constantly busy station that saw a variety of crazy shit. chilchuck initially resents him for being so out of touch, but grows to respect his leadership abilities. laios also always follows up on cases at the hospital to figure out the outcome and reflect on best practices.

he is the first person to get chilchuck to actually debrief after a shitty call and chil cries and never wants to talk about it again. but its like a seal in a dam has been breached, and opens up when they are cuddling on the couch. they spend more time off shift with each other. chilchuck crashes on laios' couch and initially feels like he needs excuses to do it until laios says he really likes talking with him and having him there. he tells him about the company's EAP coverage and that he encourages everyone to take advantage of it.

in the end, they hit that threshold of basically living together, and one of them would need to change their station (superior/employee romance) after they go from making out off shift in secret to seriously considering having laios meet his daughters in person. (they already think they're married because laios is always there when they call now)

[munsonsmixtapes]

Wanna Bet?

tattoo artist!eddie x fem!tattoo artist!reader

word count: 2.7k

cw: MDNI 18+ smut (p in v), Eddie receives a handjob, oral (m receiving), hurt no comfort

Part Four

Your kiss with Eddie had been plaguing your mind since it happened. You couldn’t stop thinking about how soft his lips were and his hand placement. You regretted not taking him up on his invitation to go back to his van, now wishing that you finally knew what he felt like inside you.

You needed him, but there was no way you were going to give up the chance to tattoo the most embarrassing thing on him. It would be on his thigh so when girls pulled down his pants, they would laugh and then leave him alone with nothing but his hand to take care of the job.

Your need to sleep with Eddie was starting to outweigh your need to win and you were starting to feel pathetic. You had only kissed him once and you were already starting to feel hypnotized. Like you'd do anything he asked because the words had come out of his mouth. One look into those pretty brown eyes and you were always a goner.

You entered the shop and made a beeline for Eddie’s office, Steve hot on your heels. He had loaned you a DVD and still hadn’t gotten it back so he had been badgering you about it every time he saw you. If you were being honest, you had no idea where it was and hadn’t even been looking for it because you had been a little distracted.

“Hey, y/n,” he called after you and you turned around just as you were about to knock on Eddie’s office door. Steve made his way towards you and you tried to not seem annoyed. Couldn’t he see that you were busy?

“Hey, Stevie!” You greeted, maybe a little too enthusiastically. You were trying to not seem obvious about what you were doing, but why else would you have gone down the hallway?

“Have you gotten a chance to look for that movie? I’d really like it back.” He crossed his arms over his chest in an attempt to look intimidating, but you just laughed at him. He couldn’t intimidate you if he tried.

“Sorry, no. I’ve been busy with job applications and such, but I promise I’ll get it back to you. I swear.” You were willing to say anything to get him to go away even if that meant lying straight to his face.

“Good, good,” he nodded, then stepped closer to you. “What are you doing back here?” He looked around the very empty hallway and you supposed it was a good question. You never came to the shop and when you did, you didn’t go down that hallway. “The only thing that’s back here is-“ he cut himself off when he turned to Eddie’s office door.

“Oh no, not you too, y/n.” He shook his head in disappointment. He really thought you had been different and now that he knew that you were like every other girl, he was starting to think differently of you.

“What are you talking about?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Like always, you had no idea what he was talking about, noticing that the man would just say whatever came to mind whenever he was talking to you.

“You’ve been dickmatized,” he rested his hands on your shoulders, looking at you intently. It was as if he was giving you a very serious diagnosis as he was saying the words. “But don't worry, I can help.” He seemed worried, like the idea of you sleeping with Eddie was the worst thing that could have ever happened.

“Dickmatized?” Now you really didn’t know what he was talking about. You had never heard that word in your life.

“Yeah, dickmatized. Hypnotized by his dick.” He was very right. You had been dickmatized and you hadn’t even seen Eddie’s dick. But you were about to and Steve definitely didn’t need to know that.

“Steve, Eddie and I haven’t fucked, not that it would be your business if we had. I’m just here to pay him back for drinks the other night.” You pulled a twenty out of your pocket as your proof and he seemed to believe it.

“Oh.” He let go of your shoulders and let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god. Thought I’d lost another one.” He reached up and clapped you on the back. “Good for you, y/n. You didn’t give into him and I’m proud of you. Well, I should get back to work, but I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, Steve, see you around.” You waved, trying your best to stay calm. The man had been driving your crazy and you just wanted him to leave you the fuck alone for once.

He turned on his heel and headed to the door that was at the end of the hall. Once it was closed, you feverishly knocked on Eddie’s door, hoping that Steve wasn’t going to come back. The door was ripped open and Eddie’s eyes widened as his locked on yours. Before he could say anything, you pushed him inside and slammed the door behind you.

Before you could stop yourself, you pressed your lips to his and he was quick to return your kiss, the whole thing rushed and messy. Your arms wrapped around his waist while his went to your shoulders, pulling you flush to his body, leaving no space between the two of you.

He licked into your mouth and your lips wrapped around his tongue, giving it a suck, eliciting a whimper to fall from his lips. You gave it one more rough suck then placed your lips back on his, letting one of your hands move around to his front. It slid down his shirt until you got to the top of jeans. You took no time to stick your hand down it, on a search for his dick. Once you found it, you wrapped your hand around it and gave it a few slow pumps.

“Oh,” he moaned and you moved a little faster, only causing him to moan even more. The sounds he was making were so hot, causing your underwear to dampen as you heard them.

“Yeah? You like that?” You asked, moving the fastest you could and his forehead fell to your shoulder as even more moans fell from his mouth.

“So good.” You gave a few more pumps then removed your hand from his pants. Your lips were back on his in a flash and you backed him up until his back hit the desk, his hands resting on it so he wouldn’t fall.

“I can take care of that for you,” you looked down at the tent in his pants and his eyes followed yours. He nodded his head enthusiastically and you dropped to your knees, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling both them and his underwear down, letting them hit his ankles. You stared at his cock that was right in front of you and couldn’t help but notice how big it was. Cum was pouring from the tip and you looked up at him, a flirty look on your face.

“It’s so nice of you to do all of this for me, baby. Practically creamed your pants, huh?” Your hand wrapped around the base and you took him into your mouth giving his dick a suck while your tongue swirled around the head. Eddie’s hands gripped onto the edge of the desk, his knuckles turning white as he threw his head back at the pleasure he was experiencing.

“Shit,” he moaned, his breath becoming heavy. He closed his eyes, trying hard to prevent his knees from buckling.

You continued to suck, taking all of him into your mouth, ignoring the fact that your eyes were watering, desperate to give him the best head of his life. Your tongue swiped along the tip another time as you sucked the hardest you could, eliciting the prettiest sounds from Eddie.

After a few more moans, you removed Eddie’s cock from your mouth and swallowed before standing back up, Eddie pulling his shirt off as you did so. You then moved around to his desk and rifled through the drawers for a condom and found that they littered the bottom left drawer. You grabbed one, not even bothering to close the drawer before you headed back to Eddie. You handed the condom to him and he fiddled with the packet, but eventually got it open. He then went to roll it on, but you stopped him before you could.

“Can I do it?” You asked and without a word, Eddie handed the thing to you. You rolled it onto his cock then quickly removed your clothes before Eddie’s mouth was on yours again, his tongue making its way into your mouth as he pushed you against the wall before slamming his dick into you.

“Shit, Eddie.” No one had ever been that rough with you before and you’d have been lying if you said you didn’t like it. The way his fingers were practically forming bruises with how hard they were digging into your waist.

“I know, sweet thing.” His hands gripped your hips as he pounded into you, causing you to let out the prettiest, loudest moans and Eddie was so grateful that he had finally made the room soundproof so his “meetings” didn’t disrupt the rest of the shop anymore.

“Just so you know, this isn’t part of the bet.” Eddie honestly hadn’t even been thinking about that. The only thing on his mind was how much he was enjoying himself. He had honestly forgotten about the bet until you had brought it up.

“Of course it’s not. Just couldn’t resist me, could you?” He pounded into you once more, this time harder and faster.

“Oh-” you moaned. “And you couldn’t resist me either. Which makes sense, since I’m smokin’, right?” Your hands wound into his hair at the back of his head as you buried your face into his neck and he thrusted and thrusted into you, moans that had fallen from your lips being the only thing that could be heard throughout the room.

“So smokin’, like you have no idea.” His hands moved to your ass and gripped the spot right under it. You took that as an invitation to wrap your legs around his waist which gave his dick more access to your cunt. He continued to pump in and out of you, pumping the hardest he ever could and you moaned louder than you ever have before, vowing to never tell Eddie that it had been the best sex of your life.

Once he had pulled out, you both cleaned yourself up and got dressed, trying your best to make yourselves look like you hadn’t just had sex in Eddie’s office, even though it was going to be pretty obvious to everyone that you had since that was one of the only reasons that people had gone in there.

You pulled your compact mirror out of your back pocket and fixed your hair, making sure it didn’t look like a fucking mess before you left. Eddie watched you as he leaned against his desk, already trying to figure out ways to get you to fuck him again. Outside of the bet, of course. He wanted to keep it going for as long as he could, because he knew that you’d want nothing to do with him as soon as it was over.

He hated to admit it, but he liked spending time with you. He liked your quick quips and how you didn’t fall at his feet like other women did. And he didn’t even see you as a challenge anymore. You were no longer someone who he just wanted to sleep with and never call again. In fact, he wanted you to be the only person he called.

His heart raced in his chest as he had that realization and decided that he needed to call the whole thing off. No fucking way was he falling for you. He couldn’t. That would ruin his whole thing. His whore tendencies had already been put to a halt when he started the whole bet with you and he wasn’t going to let you take the only pleasure he had in life away from him.

“Well, I’m going to head out,” you said, pulling him out of his thoughts. Thank god. He couldn’t look at you anymore without wanting to pull you into his arms for a romantic kiss. What the fuck was wrong with him?

“Okay,” he replied a little too quickly as you buttoned up your shirt and he couldn’t help but want to help you. He was starting to feel disgusted with himself. He was turning into the kind of guys he made fun of. Only pussies fell in love and Eddie was most definitely not a pussy.

He stood from the desk and rested a hand on your back, ushering you to the door, so desperate for you to leave. He couldn’t look at or be around you anymore. He was getting a weird feeling in his stomach and it was making him sick.

“What are you doing?” You asked as he opened the door in a rush. He was acting weirder than usual. Maybe he was just like Steve had accused him of being when you had overheard their conversation. You didn’t know why you cared since you had been using him as well, but you couldn’t help but feel a little hurt that he was so quick to just kick you out.

“I’ve got a client coming in and you don’t want to be here when they get here, do you?” Eddie was definitely patting himself on the back for coming up with that lie on the spot.

“I guess not,” you shrugged as he practically pushed you out of the office. You turned to say something, but you could see the door swinging in your direction.

“Great,” he replied, slamming the door in your face, not even letting you get a word in. What the fuck was wrong with him?

“Dick!” You called after him then stomped down the hall. You pulled the door open and didn’t even bother closing it as you headed to your car. You muttered a bunch of rude things under your breath as you unlocked the door. Once you were inside, you slammed the door and cranked the car before speeding out of the parking lot.

You couldn’t believe that you had been stupid enough to think that he actually liked you. He was so sweet to you at the bar and then after he fucked you, he turned right back into the asshole you knew him to be. You were definitely calling off the bet now. There was no way you were going to see him after that. Not after he practically ripped your heart out of your chest and stomped on it.

You felt like a goddamn idiot for actually trusting him. For thinking that he was anything other than the loser that showered women with his sweet words only to sleep with them and never call even though he swore up and down that he would.

As soon as you were out of the room, Eddie pressed himself against the door and slid down it, falling to the floor. He rubbed his hands roughly along his face, now feeling like an absolute dick for kicking you out like that. You were definitely never going to want to talk to him again and maybe that was a good thing. He couldn’t be your boyfriend. He didn’t do that, even though he kind of wanted to for you.

He found himself wanting to take you out on a date where you laughed at his jokes and shared your meals with each other. He found himself wanting to dress up in a suit and take you to a nice restaurant where he could wine and dine you. Where he could rest his hand on top of yours and tell you just how pretty he thought you were.

But he’d never do that. He was going to deny that shit until the day he died. He’d bury it so deep until he couldn’t even remember that he could even possess those kinds of feelings. The whole thing was so embarrassing and he’d be damned if anyone found out. As far as Eddie was concerned, he was going to take his crush on you to the grave.

[bvnnyl0v3r]

Aya who got adopted by kunikida shortly after the incident and now visits the Agency daily, at first completely against Kunikida's will as not to risk her safety, later on helpless towards the girl's string will.

Dazai who immediately picked up interest in the little girl who at first avoided him because he gave of "creepy vibes" and did not at all get any chance at talking to her until she overheard him talking about self defence.

Aya & Dazai who somehow convinced Kunikida that Aya can stay with Dazai during his missions after putting on a little act on behaving very good while he's gone, Dazai stealing his credit card as Aya says goodbye to Kunikida.

Aya & Dazai who sneak out while Ranpo was "watching" them at the demand of Kunikida, easily bribing him with a bag of Candy that Dazai had randomly pulled out of his jacket.

Aya & Dazai who take the train to get to the next candy store, while Dazai tells Aya about thecorrect way to tie a hangman's knot or how to bury a body without it being dug up by the authorities. Who get stared at by the other people on the train that each move away sentence after sentence of the weird conversation the two of them were having.

Aya & Dazai who spend Kunikida's montly loan on all types of candy, Aya insisting that Dazai tells her each of the Agency member's favorite candy to bring back to the office because she knows he picked it up over time.

Aya & Dazai who have the biggest fight on themes all the way on the morality of killing people onto if cereal or milk should come first during their way back to the Agency

Aya & Dazai who bring all the candy they bought back to Dazai's desk, trying locking them away safely so Ranpo won't get to them while taking two or three bags onto the roof of the Agency.

Aya & Dazai who sit silently on the rooftop until Aya comments on him hiding his true feelings to wich Dazai denies but who is he to try and fool Aya who already saw through his multiple layers of personality traits that he faked to seem like the person he is to nearly everyone else.

Aya & Dazai who later on agree that it's best to drop the theme completely and instead talk about the best ways to play pranks on Kunikida, later on agreeing that the best way to get a rise out of him would be to splash him with water from a bucket, prefferably with blue food coloring in it as Dazai adds

Aya & Dazai who have already set up their little mischiefs and are now playing games on a switch that dazai had stored in his desk in case of bordom, both of them sitting in a corner on two bean bag chairs as Dazai progressively gets more annoyed at the little girl beating him at every game he thought he was good at, trying again and again only for him to loose over and over.

Kunikida wanting to find Dazai who he obviously blamed for being drenched in blue water but instead finding both of them sleeping on the bean bag chairs, not having the heart to wake the both of them for now <3

@zukkaoru I saw your post and your vision, I JUST HAD TO WRITE IT!!! I hope this is what you were looking for <3 :)

[of-pale]

There are but two certainties in life: death and taxes. So it’s business as usual.

Nero walked into the shop, surprised to see Vergil in Dante's chair, sifting through papers, while Dante lounged lazily on the sofa flipping through a magazine.

"What's going on here?"

"Oh, you know, Vergil being Vergil,” Dante gestured dramatically toward his brother as if presenting a circus animal in a grand display. “He thinks he can do a better job at managing a demon hunting business. Not like I've been doing it just fine for decades.”

"Anyone with opposable thumbs could do a better job than you, brother," Vergil replied dryly, scrutinizing the atrociously messy paperwork and accounting. It didn't require a genius to see how badly Dante’s business would be in the red if it weren't for all the money Dante undoubtedly weaselled out of Lady. Still, that's money that has to be repaid, and Vergil didn't even want to think about the returns the loan shark hag expects of Dante.

What truly frustrated Vergil was knowing for a fact that Dante could do a better job at running the business. Annoying as it was to admit, Dante had always been better with numbers. Ever since they were kids, adding up numbers at lightning speed was as easy for him as reading was for Vergil. So this accounting mess? It was like Dante didn’t bother to put any effort in it. And hadn't for decades. From the looks of things, he even got enough jobs coming in to get by, so why…?

“Damn, I wish it was that easy and I could just hire a monkey to do it,” Nero shook his head. “This shit's boring as hell.”

Vergil couldn't help but let his frustration leak through, “Something for Dante to consider then, since it would do a better job than this.”

"Does that mean I can pay you in bananas, Verge?" Dante fired back with a grin.

"A considerable improvement, since you don't pay me at all.”

"Hey now, you get your cut at the end of the demon hunting jobs.”

“You mean the rightful pay earned for a job I complete by myself, from which you take a cut simply because you act as a broker of a broker?”

"Welcome to capitalism, bro. It's how things are run topside.”

"I miss hell already,” Vergil replied sarcastically, massaging his temples. “Please tell me you at least paid the taxes.”

"Hey, I may be the Legendary Demon Hunter, but even I don't mess with the IRS.”

"Wait, you do all the bookkeeping on paper?” Nero raised an eyebrow. “You know we live in the 21st century, right?”

"Eh, it's easier on paper.” Dante shrugged. “Especially if the occasional job needs to be kept off the books.”

“You just said you don't want to mess with the IRS.”

“Oh, if there's one thing scarier than the IRS, it's Lady when she's come to collect her due.” Dante got up from the sofa and sauntered over to his desk, where an open pizza box awaited. “A wise man picks his battles.”

“A fool sets himself up for them,” Vergil muttered, quickly realising the irony of his own words.

Dante grabbed a slice of pizza and took a curious peek over Vergil's shoulder at his notes. “Hm, you got the total amount wrong by a couple hundred. Right there.” He pointed at it before cheekily patting Vergil on the shoulder and continuing on his merry way back to the sofa.

Vergil growled demonically in pure frustration, fighting the very real urge to roll all the blasted papers into a ball and dump them in the bin.

[softstraykidshours]

~skz & their reaction to you wearing their clothes~

pairing: ot8 stray kids x gn!reader

genre: fluff, headcanon

length: 618

warnings: none

chan

he absolutely loooooovesssssss it. he thinks you look so cute in his clothes. he ends up loaning you all his sweatshirts to wear and all his shirts to sleep in just because of how adorable you look in them. his favorite thing is to swap out the clothes you've borrowed every once in a while, because then all his clothes smell like you when he wears them. 

minho

deep down he absolutely loves it when you steal his clothes, but he isn’t going to let anyone but you know that. if someone points out that you’re wearing something of his, he's going to pretend to be annoyed by it even though he’s secretly obsessed with it. since he isn’t big on pda, you wearing his clothes is like the best. it gets the possessive side of him going and makes him feel close to you. like he won’t be holding your hand, but he knows people will know you’re together because you’re in his hoodie.

changbin

he loves it, but especially when you wear his shirts. because he is so beefy and built, they are huge on you, so you like to wear them around the house casually either with pj shorts or just by themselves. he will literally just sit on the couch and watch you go about your day, because he thinks you look incredible with his huge shirt on. absolutely transfixed by how you look in his clothes.

hyunjin

he will let you wear most of his clothes. but, if he deems it as designer or “expensive,” he is not going to share it. that one is just for him. also, although he is letting you wear his clothes whenever you want, it doesn’t mean he won’t comment on them. if he thinks what you’re wearing doesn’t look good or could look better, he’s going to tell you. he will literally go to his own clothes and pick out something else and then tell you to change if he thinks your outfit would look better. 

jisung

for the most part, you aren’t really stealing his clothes, but not because he doesn’t want you to wear his stuff. it’s mostly just because you simply share most clothes. sweats, hoodies, shirts, etc. you both just like collectively own everything. they don’t belong to either of you, because you’re just sharing all of them.

felix

he is absolutely, 100%, completely obsessed with it. once again, it’s a classic couple thing, and he’s nothing if not a sucker for the classics. the minute you two start dating, he is trying to find any excuse to give you his clothes to wear. he will be buying extra hoodies or shirts for himself, because he thinks they would look cute on you.

seungmin

he teases you about it relentlessly, but he does think it’s very cute. however, him thinking you look completely adorable with his t-shirt on is not stopping him from retaliating. for every article of clothing you’re taking of his, he’s stealing one of yours in response. and he gets more dramatic about it every time. you end up deciding to stop and just stick with what you’ve already stolen from him after you take one of his hoodies and he shows up for your next date in your favorite hot pink fitted crop top.

jeongin

he gets so pisssssed. you thought you were being adorable borrowing his hoodie and showing up to the group bowling night in it. he, however, does not think it’s cute in the slightest. you most definitely cannot wear that, it was supposed to be for his ootd tomorrow. now he has to wash it last minute or figure out an entirely new outfit.

[monsoon-of-art]

SO! Awhile ago I sent an ask about how I shoved your OCs into a Café AU and with the latest few post you've been putting up, the AU has expanded.

Dragonfly is the tired barista inherited the Dragonfly Café and its trade secrets from her now retired abroad father, they talk through facetime. She also goes to college where she dorms with Michelle, Fabi and Taylor. She also over charges or short changes rude customers.

Clay is the café cleaner who fills in as a barista when Dragonfly has classes. Dragonfly let's him live in the flat above the café for free since she's already paid for her dorm room and never leaves the café premise other than to take the trash out.

Hayday is the annoying customer who always seems to order complex drinks at inconvenient times, tries making small talk with Dragonfly when she's clearly busy and never tips, the only reason why he's not banned is because Dragonfly can't really afford to ban anyone. He's several part time jobs and sometimes moonlights as a coffee boy for Ant Queen, the local sleazy motels owner, and eventualy Snake Eyes. He totally didn't develop a crush on Dragonfly after she gave him a free cup of coffee and slice of carrot cake after seeing him nearly collapse at the counter on a slow day. He dropped out of college to take care of his mum when she fell ill, is in both medical and educational debt.

Snake Eyes is a sleazy businessman whose been trying to buy the café out ever since Dragonflys father first built it and is now trying to either buy out the property from Dragonfly fairly or bankrupt it until she's forced to sell. He wants to demolish the building and the surrounding area to build something like a mall or apartment complex.

Nighthawk runs a crêpe stand outside of the café and tries to, unsuccessfully, poach customers. He swore revenge on the Dragonfly Café since he blame it for the cause of his parents diner going out of business.

Damselfly is the part time barista that Dragonfly hired to help Clay while she's in class after finding out that he was struggling. She hardly helps Clay in favour of being on her phone and is actually wealthy influencer online but doesn't tell anyone offline so they give her praise for being a 'struggling student working hard to pay off her loans'. She regularly post pictures of Dragonflys and Clays fancy coffee art designs and claims them as her own and keeps tips she receives instead of putting them in the shared tip jar.

Lovebug is the repeat customer who brings a new girl he catfished to the café atleast twice a month. He eventually develops a crush on Dragonfly because she comped his bill after a particular bad date which he believed meant she was into him, he also gets annoyed that she isn't dating him despite never asking her out and rarely talking to her outside of ordering drinks.

The Ice Cream Man is exactly the same as in canon, eldritch 'Wife' and all, no one knows what his deal is but he comes around on the 13th of every month no matter the weather, there could be a Magnitude 10 earthquake, a Category 9 tornado and a literal biblical downpour going on at the same time and he'll still be happily walking down the street with his 'Wife'. Everyone stays out of his way, once Nighthawk begrudgingly spent a day hiding in the Dragonfly Café just because he forgot what the date was when he set up his crêpe stand.

Drosera is the florist who owns the flower shop on the opposite side of the street to the café. She doesn't eat people since she isn't a plant but she'll do anything to ensure her shop stays afloat and is welling to go to some serious extremes in a calm methodical manner to do so.

Detective Victor is a small time detective whose spends his down time trying to slowly untangle the mystery of why businesses in the area around the Dragonfly Café keeps failing. He regularly comes to the café on his lunch breaks and is a good tipper.

Reporter Louise is a small time reporter for the local news agency who once had a bad experience in the café and took it personally. She takes every opportunity to rag on the small café and the only reason why she doesn't get reprimanded for it is because the her personal vendetta with the café is the most amusing thing her news agency has published in years.

Hope you enjoyed and keep uploading more work, you're giving me some serious brainrot with your OCs and I love it!

op I dont have much to add here but I love this a lot