#he's had surgery and some procedures etc

[hehosts]

i need to write not only ren's relationship but also his mother's relationship with the welfare system because he is getting government assistance technically, as did his mother (in a way)

[assiraphales]

it confuses me when ppl say “joel doomed the world” bc are we being fucking fr? the world was already doomed (if some serious changes weren’t made). the fireflies didn’t care about humanity. they cared about seizing power from fedra. the qz’s were run by dictators and living conditions were horrible. the infrastructure was falling apart. there were raiders cannibals rapists etc. humans were a bigger problem than the infected. tommy’s commune was proof that you could survive and thrive post apocalypse but powerful groups like the fireflies and fedra refused to explore that option. circling back to ellie & joel, the fireflies took the one immune person they ever found and were rushing a lethal surgery on a non consenting 14 year old. they didn’t do any tests on her / biopsy / explore any options. they were just going to take out her brain. the doctor preforming the procedure had a bachelors in biology (lol). the chances of successfully developing a cure from this hack job surgery was impossibly low. ellie would probably die for nothing. and if the cure was created, then what? how would they mass produce it? how would they distribute it? WHO would they distribute it to? surely no one under fedra rule. the cure would solve so little on the 1% chance it worked. “joel believed the cure would work he was being selfish” ok and ? we know it wouldn’t

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he’s hypersexual?

nsft/nsfw warning - mentions of sex, manipulation, etc.

🦷

(to find later)

I (19m) just broke up with my boyfriend (18m) of over one and a half years last night.

For context, I’m demisexual and he’s known this from the very beginning. Plus, I’m a transgender guy and when we first got together I was at the very start of my transition and still extremely uncomfortable with my body. So, sex was just kind of out of the question, and I made that very clear.

Nonetheless, whenever we cuddled he still got all touchy, kissed my neck and begged me to take my clothes off, etc. Whenever I protested, he got all whiny and did that weird puppy eyes thing. He usually gave up after a while and apologized, but it always left me feeling guilty and like I was depriving him of something.

After a while, he told me he’s hypersexual and he’s sorry if he gets a little "too much" sometimes. But he reassured me that he loves me and even if we never get intimate, he wants to be with me. I believed him.

Still, his behavior continued and after a while I just gave in and took my clothes off for him, let him kiss me… you get it. When I put my shirt back on I asked if he was happy now and he got all upset. He was pouting and told me that he never forced me to do anything and he wants me to enjoy these things too. It’s true, he never forced me to do anything but he always got all touchy feely and it made me feel like I had to give him something.

As the relationship progressed, I just resorted to giving him oral to satisfy him but he always insisted on returning the favor. The thing is, I was his first relationship and he didn’t have much experience. So, whenever he tried anything, I barely felt anything. Even with tons of communication and showing him how to do things. It just left me feeling gross and unsatisfied.

At some point, I decided I had to let him do the full thing. (stupid, I know, but I’m an insecure 19 year old) So, we did it and I hated it. It felt uncomfortable and he didn’t even try to give me any sort of pleasure, he just ran off to take a shower after he finished. I cried in his bed that night but never told him about it. I just pretended to be okay and to like this stuff.

When I told him I wanted to get top surgery, he begged me not to get it or to get the keyhole procedure so I don’t lose feeling in my nipples. Because it’s the only way he’s ever been able to give me pleasure. I don’t really wanna spell it out, but yeah.

When I told him that being shirtless during the nasty made me wanna cry, he told me that he never asked me to take my shirt or binder off. I just did it. But the thing is, I did it because he liked it. Never once did he apologize or comfort me. It just made me feel disgusting and extremely dysphoric.

He always blamed all his behavior on being hypersexual and not being able to control himself when I’m so cute. Or whatever…

So, I made up my mind to break up with him. The thing is, I know all of this makes him sound horrible. But he was genuinely a good boyfriend and I love him a lot. So, I feel like shit for breaking up with him just because he’s hypersexual. I tried to talk to him about it and find a solution, but he never changed despite promising to do so. I don’t really see what else I could’ve done.

Am I the asshole for this? I’d appreciate it if other hypersexual people could give me their opinions on this! Because I don’t want to believe that this is how hypersexual people usually act.

What are these acronyms?

[nerdygaymormon]

A lot of rhetoric in support of anti-trans legislation to restrict gender-affirming care talks about regret and detransitioning.

Some proportion of people experience regret for any medical procedure, from chemotherapy to orthopedic surgery. Nonetheless, we don’t see a plethora of opinion pieces about the awful risks of hip replacements. It’s inevitable that some percentage of people who transition will regret it; the real question is whether the medical care is beneficial on the whole—not whether the occasional person later regrets a medical choice they made when younger.

In 2021, it was found that 13.1% of transgender people participating in the U.S. Transgender Survey reported detransitioning at some point in their lives.

The authors of this study are careful to note “these experiences did not necessarily reflect regret regarding past gender affirmation.” Family and societal pressure are the driving forces that lead many people to detransition – not because people wake up and decide they're not actually trans. All those who took part in the survey still identified as trans, thus it's presumed that the detransitioning was temporary.

Transitioning and detransitioning is complex. You can stop taking hormones and still be trans. You can regret taking steps that alienate you from your family, even as you wish your family would accept you living how you want to live. You can even regret some aspects of a treatment (any kind of medical treatment) while being grateful for the knowledge you gained by trying it out.

Detransitioning doesn't equal regret. Regret doesn’t always mean that people wish they hadn’t transitioned, it just means that there are some parts of the story that they long to change.

What’s clear from this evidence is that the vast majority of people do not experience regret, however defined, after transitioning genders. The rate of regret is still better than other treatments which don’t require national debates over their use, which really begs the question of why the health decisions of this group gets so much attention, and why so many people weigh in even though they have no medical or psychological training and aren't directly involved the treatment of transgender people.

————————————————————

The study included a sample of the responses of the reasons by those who detransitioned at some point in their life. I think they are insightful.

External factors

 Caregiving reasons “I was caring for my 80+ year old mother who had severe dementia, and it was just too confusing for her.”

 Difficult to blend in as identified gender “I don't pass, even after FFS [facial feminization surgery] etc.”

 Financial reasons “Unable to afford HRT [hormone replacement therapy]”

 Lack of support “Lack of trans community at the time” “Back in 1997, virtually no one had heard of queergender people. I couldn't find a support system, and I couldn't figure out how to tell people what I was.”

 Legal reasons “Social services legal pressure regarding child custody” “Forced to by going to federal prison for two years” “Family court order—part of custody award”

 Medical reasons “Blood clotting from estrogen” “Pain in binding large chest”

 Fertility reasons “We decided to have kids so [I] went back to testosterone long enough to bank sperm so we can do IVF [in vitro fertilization].”

 Pressure from a medical health professional “Parents took me to a region with hostile doctors.” “Medical supervisor at federal facility removed regional-approved treatment because I didn't fit his idea of ‘a gay man so gay [he] wants to be a woman so it's easier to sleep with men’ after I had identified as lesbian to him.”

 Pressure from a mental health professional “Mental health professional told me I am not transgender and thought I was just crazy.” “In those days you couldn't be diagnosed trans if you were also gay or lesbian.”

 Pressure from a parent “Moved home after college. Had to conform for parents.” “I was facing being pulled out of school by my family.”

 Pressure from the community or societal stigma “With the high level of transphobia that exist[s], life gets very lonely.” “I live in a very conservative place and was afraid for my safety.”

 Pressure from my employer “There are times when my current job requires me to present [as] female.”

 I had trouble getting a job “I flip flopped genders because of needed employment.”

 Military-related reasons “Military forced me to detransition while in service.”

 Pressure from friends or roommates “Staying with people I knew would harass me”

 Pressure from unspecified or nonparent family members “Visiting conservative extended family for the holidays” “I temporarily detransition during visits with my in laws.”

 Pressure from religion or a religious counselor “Religious pressure (Mormon)” “Pressure from religion”

 Pressure from school “School staff harassed and abused me daily for my gender expression.” “Exclusion by Peers in School, No Mechanism for Getting Preferred Name on School Rosters”

 Pressure from a spouse or partner “I began to really clearly identify as transgender … but I realized it was pushing my marriage apart. At the time, I decided to try living as my assigned gender and set these feelings aside, but they kept cropping back up.”

 Wanting to find a spouse or partner “My partner of 4 years and I split up and I felt that I would always be alone as a trans person.” “Difficult to find lovers, dates”

 Sexual or physical assault “Traumatized by corrective rape so recloseted” “I have become frightened of the police since being sexually molested by an officer.”

 Sports-related reasons “Playing competitive sports”

 Travel or relocation “North Dakota is not a friendly place for anyone outside the gender binary. When I go back home, I butch up.” “I was studying abroad in a country hostile to LGBTQ* people (Russia).”

 Unable to access gender-affirming hormones “Living in rural area, couldn't get hormones” “I lost access to HRT and stopped passing.”

Internal factors

 Psychological reasons “Wasn't emotionally ready, I was scared of my identity.” “Transition had to be put on hold due to mental health issues.” “suicide attempt”

 Uncertainty or doubt around gender “Unsure of my exact gender identity” “Thought I might have been wrong/confused”

 Fluctuations in identity or desire “My gender feels complicated and changing all the time.” “I enjoy having the ability to go back and forth between genders.”

Note: internal factors can be the result of external factors (e.g., self-doubt regarding one's gender identity in response to being persistently misgendered or rejected).

[defilerwyrm]

If you don't mind me asking, how does bottom surgery affect sexual activity?

Gonna put this under a cut due to the nature of the discussion.

Really it depends on what kind of bottom surgery or surgeries you get. XX-typical genitals can be modified surgically in a pretty modular fashion. Do you want to enhance the T-dick or create something average-sized, do you want balls, do you want to get rid of the front hole or keep it, do you want to pee standing up, etc.

For the sake of brevity and accuracy, I’ll just speak to the procedures I’ve had personally: phalloplasty with urethral lengthening, scrotoplasty, and vaginectomy, and my lived experience with the healed results.

The two most obvious changes are that I can top without prosthetics and there’s only one hole for me to receive penetrative sex in (THANK FUCK, I only want & need that one!).

Psychologically, it’s galaxies better. I feel like a man jerking off/using a toy/etc instead of just having to picture myself with the correct anatomy in my mind’s eye while trying to get past the wrongness of my actual flesh.

I haven’t had anyone go down on me since the procedure on account of being the only out, adult, single gay guy within an hour’s drive in any direction, but I now have the option of receiving blowjobs. I’m pretty excited for that one. Fuckin’ sucks that I’ll never be able to blow a load in someone’s mouth or on their face, but that’s just the cards I was dealt. The glans and base of my dick are VERY sensitive so I’m confident I could get off on it at least once.

Due to some truly unbelievable, transphobic horse shit on the part of BCBS, I did not get my implants done in December like I was supposed to, so I’m still full floppy here. That means that if I want to penetrate someone (or a toy) I have to double bag it with a pair of condoms to keep it stationary enough; otherwise it’s no better than a cis man trying to penetrate someone when he’s flaccid.

The orgasms are goddamn incredible. I still feel them in my prostate (Skene’s gland), but they’re a lot shorter and sharper, and a lot more satisfying. Previously I’d often go as many as five or six rounds with myself before I felt like I’d reached a good stopping point, but now I can just go off like a bottle rocket once and I’m happy.

Mind you, I don’t know how much of that is psychosomatic with the removal of my bottom dysphoria, how much of it is testosterone (some of it certainly), how much of it is the actual anatomical change, and how much of it is that I’m getting older, but however the math shakes out, it’s a vast improvement. I don’t have to rub myself raw trying to get somewhere anymore.

It’s also a lot less messy, which I appreciate. The feeling of a wet front hole and all the associated dripping was horrid for me, and I don’t have to worry about that anymore.

I’ll update this once I have some more post-op partnered sex under my belt. Keep your fingers crossed for me that I can get hella laid when I go to New York later this year.

[soracities]

Ur so eloquent and i love ur posts about the societal pressures associated w makeup!!!! 💗💗💗 u put everything I feel & think about into coherent words and I so appreciate that! Also I would like to hear ur thoughts on plastic surgery bcuz I am also annoyed. If I see that smug smiley little dickhead plastic surgeon tiktoker on my FYP one more time saying “ohhh my patients r beautiful. Anyway here are all the procedures I’m gonna do to alter their ethnic nor unique features and make them look totally different” I’m gonna scream. The patronising pseudo-kindness is almost worse than when he goes completely mask-off about exploiting insecurity - like the vid he made laughing w the caption “when a 20yr old says she’s doesn’t need Botox bcuz she’s gonna age gracefully.” I’ve spent a lot of time cultivating a healthy self-esteem & generally not defining myself by my appearance - yet even I felt a flicker of my old insecurity seeing that post. I block every post referencing plastic surgery and I STILL get them. It’s incessant & so insidious - esp for poc. My 13yr old cousin (who watches lots of tiktok) told me she’s saving up for a nose job and a BBL when she turns 18 and my heart fkn broke. No 13yr old shld even KNOW the term BBL.

I feel so much for your younger sister, anon, because whatever else I may have gone through with my own insecurities at 13 (and they were profound and absolutely did a number on me), I genuinely cannot begin to imagine what it's like to cope with all of that in the age of TikTok and IG and the added pressure of beauty influencers magnifying everything.

Honestly, my thoughts on cosmetic surgery are very complicated--I don't think it's something that's ever going to go away, and to be honest I'm not even sure if it's about that. I know people who've had cosmetic procedures done and I know it was something deeply important for them and I know how much happier and at ease they felt afterwards--I'm not going to judge or begrudge anyone that happiness because the reality is, as much as it would be amazing if we all loved and celebrated ourselves and each other, everyone's individual constellation of insecurities and worries is completely different and not everyone will be able to address them in the same way.

To live in a world where we are not defined and punished for our physical differences would be an incredible thing, but we don't live in that kind of world--and so learning to be at peace with yourself in the midst of the world we do have, learning to accept your body or any individual aspects of your appearance is incredibly difficult--and these difficulties are influenced even more by gender, or race, or the culture in which you live etc., or even just the people around you. Do I wish my friends could see what I see? Of course. But I also don't know what they see, or how deeply that runs, or the impact that has on them. Because I also know that, when it comes to myself, I don't see what they see, either. I've said before that I find prominent noses absolutely beautiful--but I know that I cannot impose this on someone who has had to live their life under constant comments about their nose (or any other feature), to the point where they feel that is all they are to people. I don't condemn people for the choices they make in this, but I do condemn the structures and societal expectations that force some people into certain choices in the first place by normalising this idea that there is a "correct" way to look (and I'm not immune to it either--I have a lot of profound insecurities that are incredibly difficult to get past).

It's very similar to how I view makeup in some respects because whatever choices people make when it comes to cosmetic procedures should feel like choices to them. But not all cosmetic procedures are made equally and my real issue with cosmetic surgery (and in my mind I distinguish it from plastic surgery because they are not the same to me), more than anything else, is when it becomes a tool for upholding and celebrating particular beauty standards that are deeply gendered, politicized and racialised while claiming it is "just" a matter of aesthetics, which is deeply, deeply insidious to me. "Aesthetics" have never been neutral. Even the language we use in talking about it isn't neautral: "fix", "adjust", "improve" etc. Improve according to whom? Why do they decide this? At the end of the day, no matter what you say about the golden ratio there is nothing wholly objective about beauty because human beings are not static Ideals; you cannot distill beauty into a mathematic formula like a conch shell because beauty is not something separate from the thing it occupies. These ideals work for Plato, but we are living, breathing, moving, exsiting in the here and now. A static image of a beautiful woman in a Vogue covershoot is just that: an image. And all the rules that govern that image fall apart the moment the model moves again, the moment she becomes a person again.

And besides, nothing can be "just" aesthetics in a world with the warped beauty standards that we have. There's nothing neutral about nose jobs in a society marred with as much anti-black racism and antisemitism as ours. There's nothing neutral about BBLs in a society that fetishizes black women's (and other woc) bodies as ours. There's nothing neutral about buccal fat removal in a society so plagued by thinness as not just a physical but also a moral ideal. I read a horrifying article on GQ a few months back about men undergoing cosmetic surgery to widen their jawlines so they appear more "manly"--and a surgeon in the article casually said one of these patients also "needed a rhinoplasty" which made me see red: nobody needs their face smashed open for the sake of an arbitrary standard whose very purpose (Beauty) requires the existence, and therefore manipulation and condemnation, of its opposite in order to appear valid. These beauty standards only have value so long as their opposites have no value--but these "opposites" are not disembodied traits: they are real human features that belong to real breathing human beings who have to live surrounded with this rhetoric for their entire lives. There's nothing neutral to me about looking at a human face and dissecting all of its features, ascribing values to some, and disparaging others, as though they exist as separate building blocks you can rearrange at will. In some instances, it skirts too close phrenology for me, and I'm not saying that lightly.

These are some of my thoughts but as I said, my views on this are very complicated and I have to be careful how I talk about some of it because there are some things that genuinely make me deeply angry. Again, I don't believe the solution is to get rid of cosmetic surgery, because I don't think that will ever really work and I think it misses the point--most people will always have something about themselves they'll want to change or just wish was different and for some people more than others they will want to make that change: and I would much rather people have access to legal, qualified, accountable medical professionals when they do. But in cases like your sister, in cases like that GQ article, in cases like that TikTok surgeon (I have no words, anon, truly...), or really just TikTok in general, in cases like ethnic rhinoplasty and eyelid surgery, the fact that the number of people getting Botox has grown since the increase in video calls and Zoom meetings....in all honesty at this point I am just tired and infuriated by our refusal to have an actual conversation about the society these procedures exist in and are normalised within and I'm especially tired when influencers and celebrities make a point of not being upfront about their own procedures. I don't care what people get done or why (as long as its a freely made choice for no one else's sake but yours), but I do care when we make it as acessible as these procedures are now, when they are tacitly (and in some cases outright) encouraged, and yet talking about them or admitting to having had that work done is somehow gauche and I am incredibly tired of it!

[stampedestring]

Sickness/injury appears as a plot point quite frequently in Rawhide; although it's rarely portrayed realistically (e.g., Rowdy's infamous for suffering no lasting effects from getting bashed on the head repeatedly), I like it when the writers incorporate medical terminology from the era. I don't know much about the period, so it's interesting to read up on.

[Spoilers below for S3E3 Incident at Dragoon Crossing; discussion of medical stuff, cw surgery, cw addiction]

Favor falls sick in Incident at Dragoon Crossing (headache, blurry vision, can't think straight), and he attributes it to a skull fracture he suffered during the war, which doctors told him might lead to brain fever, blindness, or worse. The other trail boss, Cord, who takes over the herd on Favor's behalf while he goes to see a doctor, suggests it might be something else. It turns out it's a bad fever, and medicine from a doctor (and some rest in a proper bed) helps him get better.

When Cord goes to take over the herd and tells the drovers that Favor is sick and has gone to see a doctor, Wishbone says Favor doesn't go in for doctors and he's never had anything Wishbone couldn't treat with salts, paregoric, and something I can't quite recall at the moment. (Paregoric is camphorated tincture of opium, a household remedy of the period, used to treat diarrhea, cough, and pain. I haven't gotten round to really reading up on the common use of the term "salts," but I suppose they could be compounds of mercury, etc., or maybe Rochelle salt? Anyway, I came across this list of drugs carried in a civil war medical wagon, which does include paregoric and Rochelle salt.)

Earlier in the episode, when Pete and Wishbone notice that Favor seems ill, Wishbone (I think) suggests Favor might have the ague (i.e., malaria, or another fever characterized by fever and chills - see this nifty tiny resource from a UPenn course for a flavor of how it figured in people's lives then). Wishbone mixes something dark from a small bottle into a cup of coffee for Favor, which Favor immediately detects and spits out, lol. (Probably not quinine, though quinine is bitter.)

In reading up about head injuries during the American Civil War, I saw that trephination (making a hole in the skull) was a procedure that saw some use (article from National Museum of Civil War Medicine); it had a high mortality rate, but apparently was better than trying expectant management. Perhaps Favor had a relatively minor fracture that didn't require such treatment, but he doesn't specify what, if any, treatment he received. Perhaps just pain management by way of morphine and opium? (The use of which, by the way, led to many veterans suffering opiate addiction even long after the war.)

Given that the writers included ague, brain fever, and paregoric, I wonder if they could have been more specific about the type of illness Favor had and the medicine that was used to treat it. Any thoughts? I'm over here amusing myself thinking that he basically popped an aspirin and got all better. (Or willow bark tea, for something more period-appropriate.)

[hello-nichya-here]

No your so right about this with Michael Jackson.

I hate how they didn't treat him like a human.

I hate how they judged that.

Like fuck them juding him for doing plastic surgeries and being addicted to pain killers. Who are they to judge? Unless they have been that FAMOUS like him they have no right to do so.

If I had people watch me everyday cameras on my face, grew up with my father bullying my apperance, I'd be self conscious too.

Fuck people who care more about how many plastic surgeries he had then the humanitarian things he did. Fuck people for making fun of his apperance.

And lastly most people couldn't handle a week living like him. So for them to judge him for being addicted to anything his laughable. I couldn't. I would be waaay worse.

Not to mention, some of the surgeries Michael went through were medically necessary: dude's head was literally set on fire, and thanks to Lupus he had necrosis on a few parts of his face and needed the dead tissue to be removed. Plus some people still ignorantly think Michael did some kind of procedure to "turn white", even though he had already said he had vitiligo and used make-up to cover up the spots and creams made to treat vitiligo to even out the skin, AND in some pictures it's very noticeable that he only used said cream in his hands and face, as there's still spots everywhere else.

And for fuck's sake, people were already losing their shit about him having had "too many" plastic surgeries all the way back in the Dangerous Era, when he looked absolutely normal and if he had not grown up in the spotlight he could have easily passed as not having ever had any surgery ever.

And the "spotlight" bit is also important because Michael had repeatedly mentioned how he struggled with being a former child star because the public (and by consequence the label and his manager/dad) wanted him to stay little forever.

For fuck's sake, he had already started his career having to lie about his age to pretend he was even younger, and as he grew up he was always speaking in higher, softer tone of voice - which he kept doing even as an adult, when people thought it was weird, because surprise surprise, you can't spend years trying to brute force someone into looking and acting younger than they really are, then act all shocked when they can't just flip a switch in their brain and stop doing that the second it is no longer convenient.

It is really that shocking that as he was growing older, became a dad, and wasn't as active as he used to be, that he had the natural instinct of trying to basically "freeze" his looks at that age? And again, considering how his entire career relied on iconic visuals (the white glove, the Billie Jean hat, the Smooth Criminal suit, the lean and the moonwalk, etc) I would not be surprised if everyone that was making money off of him was not only okay with it, but actively encouraging him to do just that, so they could "keep the brand looking sort of the same" for audiences.

That kind of stuff happens to nearly every single celebrity in the whole world - hundreds of which went WAY further with plastic surgery than Michael ever did. They are just bullied relentlessly and expected them to look the same forever. If they age naturally, they've "let themselves go" and "are too old now." If they try to keep the same looks, as people are basically demanding them to? Then they are shallow, pathetic people that are so delusional they think they can beat time just because they're rich. There is no "right choice" that will please the people that see them as products instead of human beings.

People only focus so much on Michael because he was THE most famous human being ever, and nothing sells as much as a story trashing beloved icons, so the media focused on him to level of "if you did this to a regular, non-famous person, you'd all be in prison right now."

And it's exactly because the media was constantly repeating how "weird" he was at every single opportunity, blasting all kinds of absurd stories everywhere, that people thought he obviously HAD to be the biggest weirdo ever, right? If he wasn't, why would the media talk so much about *checks notes* the guy with the first AND second best selling record of all time? They'd totally leave him alone if only he wasn't so weird. There's just no way they'd always come up with new bullshit to trash him for just because it'd 100% make them absurd amounts of money, riiiiiight?

[extasiswings]

As someone who never watched bones, the bones blueprint???

What is the Bones blueprint? WELL, LET ME TELL YOU. So Bones is the show with one of, if not THE hetero slow burn ship of classic Fox procedural shows in the mid-2000s-early 2010s. (Pretty much every main network had at least one major procedural slow burn at a time. Fox had X-files, then Bones. ABC had Castle. CBS had NCIS and The Mentalist…you get it). So, let me set the stage with our characters:

Seeley Booth, played by David Boreanaz. Booth is an FBI Agent and former Army Ranger (with a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart and a certain amount of PTSD that he doesn’t like to discuss). Catholic. Complicated relationship with his family. More than a little repressed. Definitely needs therapy (and gets it eventually—at first when he’s required to go, and voluntarily in later seasons). Good at and devoted to his job. Single Dad who feels like he missed out on a lot of the early years of his son’s life and worries about being a good father (he asked his ex to marry him when she got pregnant, but she turned him down even though she loved him—at least early on in the series even though they aren’t together it’s discussed that they have a tendency to fall into bed not infrequently) [I swear I’m not making this up]. Anyway, you get the picture.

And behind Curtain No. 2, we have:

Temperance Brennan (Bones), played by Emily Deschanel. Brennan is a forensic anthropologist. Super smart, super scientific, doesn’t have great social skills, but definitely has the whole “perceived as cold but actually feels things very deeply” thing going on. Tragic backstory. She’s also a novelist.

So! Booth and Brennan. They work together, they’re partners, they solve murders. And, naturally, they have the whole opposites thing that works for them—she’s very book smart, he’s very street smart, she believes in facts and science and logic, he believes in intuition and gut feelings and faith, etc. etc. As is often the case with the aesthetic of the crime procedural slowburn ship, they start out sort of reluctantly working together, but eventually develop a real partnership built on trust and friendship (and love!).

Early on, she has some things in her past with her family that she asks for his help investigating so that she can get answers. There’s also a time in the second season where Brennan gets kidnapped by a serial killer and buried alive while Booth is stuck trying to find her, which in addition to still being just An Episode(™) remains one of the great, classic, early-in-the-slowburn “I almost lost you and it made me feel Some Kinda Way, but no no we’re just friends really, nothing to see here” defining arcs, especially since Brennan starts dating someone not too long after. The same serial killer returns in season four and snatches Booth that time, and then it’s Brennan’s turn to find him (with the help of Booth’s younger brother). Anyway, classic slow burn—there’s a lot of Implication that you could read into if you wanted throughout the first several seasons, but not necessarily super concrete (although they get caught under the mistletoe once), and there are several rounds of saving each other in various ways as over the years they just become closer and closer until they’re Partners(™) in every way (even when they’re dating other people).

What’s making me yell and scream today though, is: the S4 finale and S5. In the S4 finale, Booth is in a coma after having brain surgery. He has a wild coma dream where he and Brennan are married and they run a nightclub, but there still ends up being a murder—ANYWAY, irl Brennan basically spends the whole time he’s in a coma at his bedside, but then he wakes up and he has no memory of who she is. Pivot to S5, Booth remembers her again, and also feels like he might have romantic feelings for her, but (in part because of some third party commentary) questions whether they’re real or just a side-effect of the surgery. He sort of tells her anyway, but flubs it massively. Later in the season, we get Booth’s son being concerned that his dad doesn’t have a girlfriend, both Booth and Brennan separately getting relationship advice from third parties, and Brennan getting asked out by a new guy. And then! The 100th episode.

The 100th episode, which reveals the start of the series wasn’t their first case, they worked together once before and kissed and almost slept together, but hadn’t ended up going all the way. And after they’re done telling their story, Booth finally stops and kisses her and gets to give his big damn love confession, lays it all on the line, tells her he’s always known she was the one and wants to really try…and she freaks out and cries and turns him down, and he accepts it but says he has to move on. And then they both date other people before fully running away from each other for many months (Brennan on an anthropological dig, Booth back to Afghanistan for the military). (And then, when they come back, she’s ready to put on her big girl pants and give it a shot, except that he went and got a girlfriend who he seems happy with so we all get to suffer through a season of angst and pining while he proposes to someone who isn’t Brennan etc while everyone else is like “you’re still in love with her though” but they do sleep together by the end of S6 and ultimately get married and have two more kids (not in that order)).

So, yeah—the blueprint! Making me especially crazy because here we are with Buddie on a Fox procedural, 4 seasons since they really started trying it seems to make Buddie something potentially real, and Buck is heading into a coma where he's about to hallucinate another life, and the 100th episode is coming up near the beginning of next season (and I really hope Fox learned from Bones that there's such a thing as dragging out the slow burn too much and just lets them be happy after the big damn feelings reveal but XD).

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

Y'all might think I'm silly for doing Sicktember again this year when I'm still chipping away at Novemetober rescheduled, but just try and stop me. I'm insane like that.

(also hey, unlike Novemetober, with Sicktember I challenge myself to actually do the prompts I choose on the correct days, so September will be a month filled with one shots for y'all)

Anyway since we know Tales from the Waiting Room will be a prompt on the Sicktember prompt list, I've already been brainstorming for it and I've got a kind-of-elaborate idea for it!

Cyno and Tighnari are there for Collei who's having some minor procedure, think maybe wisdom teeth surgery. Worried dad Nari, plus Cyno being very uncomfortable but insisting on staying with him in the waiting room for the entire duration because damn it he's not gonna let his hatred of hospitals make him leave Tighnari alone.

Over the course of the hour or so they're waiting, in between snippets of them just being the loving couple we know and love, they watch other characters come and go, really play into the tales of the waiting room. We get a small cameo from just about every one of the main couples I write in the AU, Kazuha and Gorou, Aether and Albedo, etc! Maybe Heizou dragging in his new roommate who had an encounter with the beans he's so allergic to. So many possibilities!

Anyway this is definitely a very elaborate idea, my concept brain ran away with it a bit, but I thought it's something fun and different and I wanted to share it with you guys!

As a side note, I just spent 10 minutes googling different bad jokes to find the perfect one for Cyno in the fic I'm currently working on-

[apricotbuncakes]

I Need Top Surgery ASAP

My dysphoria is off the charts. I've been doing literally anything I can to reduce the dysphoria around my chest but it is way too costly for me to buy trans tape that doesn't work well for me and chest binders that stretch out even with proper washing. Binding regularly makes it near impossible to breath and with my job as a lifeguard it's really unsafe to bind because of how hot the pool room is and the physical demand of the job. I end up having to bind anyway though because daily dysphoria is more crippling than milder dysphoria and some breathing troubles.

I've wanted top surgery since I was 14. For years I've had dreams of getting top surgery and crying when I wake up because it wasn't real. Now at 20 the possibility is finally here to make my dreams come true, for me to resolve my chest dysphoria and back pain, to make me feel more comfortable as myself. I've needed top surgery for YEARS but am just now reasonably able to get it.

If you donate ANY amount of money (a few cents, a dollar, five, ten, twenty, whatever!!) to this gofundme you will get your name personally written on a trans flag that I will share online! Anonymous donors will have their own section of the flag so you can still get recognition without your name being displayed publicly! So far the GoFundMe has raised $255! Through my own savings, the total money saved is a bit past $310.

Can't donate? Reblog, repost this GoFundMe to other platforms. Share with friends who may be able to financially contribute. Just share it around (and be sure to link the GoFundMe too!!).

More Info:

I realize some people are hesitant to just donate money to those they don't know so my ask box is open for any questions you might have about the GoFundMe, but I'll go over the broad strokes here too!

"Do you have someone willing to perform the surgery on you?"

I already have a surgeon willing to perform top surgery on me AND a therapist willing to write a letter to said surgeon to also verify that this surgery is appropriate for me!

"Why is it so expensive?"

The surgeon I chose has told me the price for the surgery itself is $8,500 BUT! My goal is $10,000 because of other costs associated with the surgery! Things like aftercare supplies (things to help with scarring, comfort items, etc), bills (car, phone, pet supplies, student loans) that I won't be able to earn the money for during recovery, and after surgery visits. There are other smaller expenses to take into account as well that I haven't listed. All of those things cost A LOT. I likely won't be able to work for a few months after surgery due to not only recovery time but also my line of work, which is why I'm including them in the surgery cost. All of these things have to be taken into account for the pricing, hence why my goal is $10,000.

"Why can't you just go through your insurance?"

The fuckers gave me an out of date list of surgeons in my area, most of which don't specialize in top surgery or related procedures, and SEVERAL of the surgeons on there are actually deceased. They have been of no further help on this. Of the surgeons eligible on the list, ONE responded (and he was an absolute dick who told me I had to lose weight before he would even consider performing it on me). They also have a load of requirements like being a whole year on HRT (I'm only 7 months at the end of April 2024), having a certain BMI (a bullshit requirement for ANYTHING), and a handful of other factors that I wouldn't be able to meet reasonably soon Truly, out of pocket is the safest and best option for me.

"Why can't you just get a breast reduction?"

What's the point of a reduction if I'm going to bind what's left anyway? I don't want my breasts. They distress me and make me dysphoric. Top Surgery is the best option for me.

"What happens if you don't need all the money you raised?"

In the unlikely event that I don't need all the money I'm asking for, I will likely use it for other important things in my life or donate the money to someone else who needs top surgery. I'll likely donate through GoFundMe, but I'll look around locally too in case there's someone who needs money in my community.

My ask box is open if you have any other questions not addressed here.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Epilogue pt. 1 “Preface” Why Humans Are Space Orcs

https://www.patreon.com/empyreaniris?fan_landing=true

https://starr-fall-knight-rise.tumblr.com/post/182501791735/master-post

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jzEIdDAB4omdO2JcQVMObfrhLJ5kX4ONmSsLypM1ks0/edit?usp=sharing

Becoming Human: Fathoms of the Unfathomable

Krill M.D

Preface 

With more than two decades of experience treating, diagnosing, observing and interacting with humans, and as the only nonhuman in the galaxy who has experienced humanity first hand, I am confident that I am the Galaxy’s most experienced nonhuman human expert in the matter of human physiology, biology, virology, psychology, and sociology etc. During my past two decades of research I have lived with the humans, acclimatized myself to their customs, and more than allowed them to become a part of me in both mindset and behavior.

My other qualifications include over three decades of specialty in advanced surgical procedure and diagnostics. I have been named the Intergalactic Association for Practicing Physicians’  Intergalactic Physician of the Cycle  award four times in the last twenty or so years, and also I saved the universe once. Granted,  it may be argued that I had some help in performing the last task, but at the end of the day it was I who pressed that button, and I am hardly about to be modest about such an accomplishment.

Despite all of these achievements, and even after all of this time and after experiencing life as a human first hand with their same sensory biology and cognitive configuration, I can confidently say that…

 I don't know SHIT!

And yes, this is my book, published through the Arcadian agency, so no stuffy board member can sit here and complain that my language isn’t “Academic” enough for them.

I don’t know shit, The more I thought I knew the less I actually knew, and experiencing life as a human myself did nothing to inform my understanding. In fact, my experiences as a human so many years ago only served to prove that I knew nothing. After the institution of the Maker Accords in Geneva and the banning of Anumectomy surgery, No other non-maker inhuman has been able to experience life from another perspective.

The Makers haven’t been seen for more than a decade now, so I think it is finally time for me to admit something I was unable to admit when they were still here.

Reversal of an Anumectomy is entirely impossible. The strands grown in the brain that attach the soul to the body are present at birth and can only be severed by death, they cannot be reinstated. After the makers left, I admit I have, on more than one occasion, Indulged in the pleasures of being human.

I am no closer to understanding.

Dr. Loquens of the Tesraki university of behavioral xenopsychology’s book on human behavior suggests that the special nature of humans comes as a result of their unique construct physiology in combination with the Anima allowed to hold it. He says that the human construct is specifically designed to hold the more powerful Deus Anima or a last cohort Deus, which entirely explains the special nature of humanity. He believes that the special nature of humanity and their accomplishments as compared to other species are related to their heightened survival instincts which drive them forward. 

And I can see why he would think this.

WIth four cortical hemispheres, the Vrul are on average more intelligent than an average cross sectional sample of other populations.

But I also find Dr. Loquens conjectures to be stupid, primarily based on at distance observation with minor undertones of Tesraki centralized bias. Here is what I CAN tell you.

There is something special about humans.

Something special about BEING human.

If you have ever been a human you have it. I don’t know what it is or how it happens, but once a human,, always a human.  

All other biological programming simply cannot compete with the experience of humanity. If you were to take a human and palace them in the body and cognition of another species, they would still be human. 

If you were to take an alien and allow them to experience humanity, than i dare say…. There is a chance they might be human as well. I don’t think this might happen to everyone, I think that there are those that are simply incapable of whatever it is that is required to be human. The exact nature of these requirements have been lost to me for over twenty years, and the fact that I have finally chosen to write this book is an indicator that I have finally accepted that I will never know.

I once coined a term common around the galaxy, “Humanization” or the phenomena experienced by nonhuman sapients in close proximity with humans, who experience a growing presence of human-like behaviors or other characteristics as a result of prolonged exposure to human socialization. I

For this reason, I believe that whatever it is that humans have can be transferred to a select group of others. 

This is what has me believing that there is something special about humans beyond their constructed bodies and beyond the Deus anima. There are plenty of nonhuman Deus who will never experience humanity or humanization, while there are those with other levels of anima who will.

I know the explanation is not satisfactory, because there is no explanation, but here are a few things that I am willing to say with some degree of certainty. 

Being truly human is not a matter of the body or genetics. I daresay that there is the occasional human  who is not HUMAN based on the classification that I will offer forward today. Instead I make the argument that humanity is something that exists as an ephemeral state of mind.

It is true doctor Loquens is correct in his assumption that humans have a heightened sense of survival, however, I say that this can be argued about every species in their own way. Vrul are more fragile than humans and more easily killable, so the option so saw your own arm off to escape from a dangerous situation is not viable without the immediate product of death, but instead vrul chose to subjugate themselves inside the walls of several cities along sites perpendicular to their planetary axis  and hide there for thousands of years until the memory of why they had gone was forgotten.

This survival instinct though different is of the same magnitude and cannot completely explain the differences.

I argue instead that humanity is a state described by the distance between two variables for example the desire to survive, and the impossibility of the situation to be survived, or the ability to feel empathy, and the ability of an object to be empathized with. Humanity is the ability to experience life in all of its extremes where those who are not classified as having humanity experience life somewhere in the middle. Not all humans experience all extremes in everything , but they experience more extremes than those who do not.

Take the “indomitable” spirit of a human. The ability to survive the unsurvivable, the ability to believe the unbelievable, and the audacity to do the impossible. One at a time they may not mean much, but in combination it can create some extraordinary things. Those without humanity might never have thought it would be possible to survive the war of Armageddon and make it through to the necritorium, even fewer would have been able to believe, in circumstances so terrible that there was even a possibility of winning. Many others would never even think to attempt something they  thought was impossible.

Humans are all of that.

They can hope in hopeless situations, in fact, hopeless situations bring about the MOST hope for humans.

Humans can love things that should be unlovable, they experience empathy and emotion for inanimate objects, those who have hurt them, or even beings they have never met before, only heard of.(See my chapter on human pack bonding to see how putting googly eyes on inanimate objects can elicit this reaction in humans.

The more extreme a situation gets, the more the human spirit can be seen.

In situations so hopeless, terrible and soul crushing, a human may still fight to live through.

In the most dire of times, they fight the hardest.

And in the most peaceful of times they can be at their most unsettled.

As a whole humanity possesses this, and as a whole humanity is able to spread it.

Since meeting humans I too have experienced a change in mindset towards the extremes.

I have believed the unbelievable, I have won the unwinnable and I have achieved the unachievable. 

The darkest times are when the light shines brightest.

[ofallthingsnasty]

may I ask…you to go on about crocodile’s dentist office?? omg, oral surgeon crocodile?!? wisdom tooth removal?! screaming

Haaaa, yes you may 😳 Thing is, I don't write him without the hook/prosthetic hand - and that is tricky in that field. I personally know someone who suffered an amputation injury (idk if that's the correct translation, in German it's Amputationsverletzung, so simple lol) of two distal phalanges of the left hand and he can't practice anymore. He works for a dental implant company instead - that's why I mentioned Crocodile as a sort-of businessman in the tags of that Doffy/Law dentist shitpost. But....

tags: crack treated seriously, suspend your disbelief bc we're turning baroque works into a fucking dental mill in this jdfksjsk, using the german system bc it's all i know (regarding specialist training etc)

He's a little... difficult. He may not be able to practice anymore but he didn't stomp this office out of the ground only to hand it to some greenhorn surgeon with a fresh-off-the-press certificate - after all, he still has the license. He still has that knowledge and experience - and he knows how valuable all of that is. No, he's smart about it: hires a capable team of dentists, oral and oms surgeons - and retains the status of 'boss', expands what he already has and pretty much doubles down on work, only this time around it's more behind the scenes. Oversees procedures, advises his employees, does a whole lot of paperwork (and tax evasion), keeps the place extremely well-running and profitable. His business strategy is to cover all dental fields with his operation, so people can have a one-stop shop for everything they could ever get done... orally. Robin is the newest addition to his little roundelay - she's an oral surgeon, yes, but she has just finished her training. She has learned an awful lot during those four years of postgraduate training, but she still lacks a lot of finesse that comes with age and experience. She's one Crocodile's top-earners and he hovers an awful lot - guiding her, monitoring her surgeries, trying to help her get better - and most importantly, faster. (If you were to ask Robin - it's almost stifling but she appreciates the effort) So when you come in, an uncomfortable case of denitio difficilis with one of your lower wisdom teeth terribly close to the inferior alveolar nerve, of course he'll hold his head right into your mouth next to Robin's. He's intimdating, that's for sure - you had expected the very clinical young woman with the prim hair and cool smile coming in on her own. But there he is, right next to her: taller than average, tired but observant eyes, dressed entirely in white scrubs, with a tilt of his head that just screams 'in charge'. One look at him and you just know he doesn't joke around. You can't glean if his presence means good or bad news - and you don't care, you're in too much pain. In the end, he does very little - him and Robin lord over you from up above, that clinical light shining around their heads like a halo while you sweat and cramp and shake on the chair, the bitter taste of anesthesia on your tongue and the cracking of your own bone in your ears. He mutters instructions to her while she performs a coronectomy on you, holds your tongue to the side with the surgical hook, tells you to 'open' and not much more. It isn't easy - the anesthesia doesn't work well due to the inflammation in the area and the pain mixed with your own anxiety has you crying fat tears while the two labor - but you somehow survive it. Robin delicately weaves her stitches into your flesh and crinkles her eyes at your perseverance, just a tad out of breath. Crocodile leaves the second she's tied her last knot, not even telling you goodbye - you pay him no mind, you're just glad you're finally done with this torture. All that's left is to get the time slot for a follow-up appointment. You shuffle back to the front desk, to the skittish man sitting behind a computer, and slur out your request, tongue still numb and jaw sore. He pulls up your digital file - and almost falls off his chair. You don't quite understand what the ruckus is all about until he tells you you're no longer Robin's patient, at least not when it comes to consultations, that you'll be seeing the boss himself next time around. (And a few days later you get to brave the presence of Crocodile all on your own while he takes a long and proper look at the state of your wound.)

[bunposting]

Do intact male rabbits scent mark often? Is this off putting? Are intact males significantly more aggressive with people (I know they’re more aggressive with other rabbits) than neutered males? Could an intact buck make a decent companion or should “pet rabbit people” just stick to females and sterilized males?

Lemme try to answer these in sections just to kind of keep things organized

-

Scent Marking

It's kind of an 'it depends' sort of situation. All rabbits of any sort of dominant personality will scent mark (usually by rubbing the scent gland on their chin on whatever they've decided is theirs to claim - their cages, a table, a toy, their food dish, other rabbits, human beings, etc.), and this isn't really much of a problem. It doesn't really smell like anything to us humans, and if anything it's kind of adorable.

What intact bucks can do that most does won't do is something called 'spraying.' This is a different form of scent marking where they lift their butt high up and spray out a very smelly urine, usually onto a wall... But sometimes even on people (yuck). Some bucks will actively jump and twist as they spray so the urine can cover more area. Not all bucks do this, however, and for most breeders this is an extremely off-putting trait. Many breeders have had success with just breeding this behavior out of their lines by culling bucks that exhibit it. Unfortunately, a buck that sprays will probably continue spraying even after it's been castrated, so this is kind of a case where you're just going to want to ask the breeder you're buying from if their bucks have a history of spraying, or to ask the shelter you're adopting from if the particular rabbit you're adopting has exhibited this behavior.

-

Human Aggression

This may be surprising but... Intact bucks are often considerably less aggressive than does! Does tend to be way more hormonal than bucks, which can make them super moody. To be honest, I've met very few sweet intact does in my lifetime. Many of them either are skittish, indifferent, or just downright hostile toward people. Temperament can be genetic, so it is possible to breed for does with a kinder temperament, but even then you're more often to end up with an indifferent doe than a doe that wants anything to do with people. There are definitely exceptions! I currently have a doe that, after calming down from a particularly hormonal period of time, has become one of the sweetest rabbits ever and is super friendly. I know of a few does like her! I just know of way more friendly bucks than I know of friendly does.

-

Good Companions?

Intact bucks can make amazing companions. The rabbit in my profile pic was Blackavar, my first breeding buck who eventually retired to being a pet rabbit. He wasn't a sprayer, and he was one of the sweetest, most gentle rabbits I've ever had the pleasure of spending time with. To be honest, I owe my life to him - if a rabbit could be a service animal, he very much could have been one. I had another intact buck named Argentum (Aggie or Ags for short), and while he wasn't quite as sweet as Blackavar, he could be super affectionate (sometimes maybe even a little too much) and was just in general a goofball that was a joy to spend time around. The buck I have now, Draco, came to me as an extremely anxious young buck, but has become super friendly and affectionate and loves to spend time with me.

To be honest, I would argue that an intact buck will generally make a better companion than an intact or even a spayed doe. I wouldn't necessarily recommend getting a buck neutered either, because their risk for reproductive cancer is fairly low, and any sort of surgery is a very risky procedure for rabbits that should only be done if it absolutely has to be done (which, imo, is a very, very, very rare thing). Like I said, just make sure to ask about a history of spraying either in the rabbit itself or in the other adult rabbits related to the one you're getting, and especially if you're looking for a companion, ask if you can spend some time with the rabbit before you officially purchase it to make sure that it does have a great temperament that will fit what you expect of a companion animal, regardless of the sex or reproductive status of that rabbit.

[purkinje-effect]

Hewwo!

Are you by chance a trans man/trans masc?

I have an OC who is a trans man, and has had top surgery but hasn't had bottom surgery yet?(idk if they'll ever get it) and I was wondering if that would be considered transphobic?

I have other trans OCs that are vastly different in terms of their bodies, but I don't wanna be accidentally transphobic or anything.

Hi there! Thanks for the DM.

Well, I'm nonbinary, but I will try my best. I welcome any transmascs/transmen to help me out here, and reblog with their own advice and input. Their feedback's going to be more valuable than mine.

I'm also not sure whether you're creating a character for art, stories, RP, etc., so I'm probably giving you a lot of information that might not be pertinent to your character building.

But, you've asked me something that I feel quite passionately about, so this became a bit of an essay.

There are many variations to the trans experience. Not all trans people necessarily pursue every possible gender affirmative care/procedure available to them. Plenty of trans individuals never have bottom surgery. They're no less their gender for their current or desired combination of affirmative care. If they're of a binary gender, not getting certain procedures, treatments, or surgeries still does not make them "less binary." (Likewise, if they're nonbinary, they can pursue strictly binary procedures, and still be nonbinary at the end of the day. And cis people can have any number of such procedures and still be cis. As all this holds true in reality, so goes it double in fiction, esp in sci-fi and fantasy genres where there might be invented races, etc.)

If you're worried about your decision to have the character have this combination of traits, then the focus should be less on their traits and more on any plots you intend to use them in, and on what kind of interactions and scenarios you'd like to put them in. It's not so much about the fact, as it is how it's treated.

For example, I'd be less worried about a transmasc character that hasn't had bottom surgery, and more about the way the narrative they exist in respects and upholds their identity when it comes up. That's not to say characters that interact with them can't ever have misguided or intentionally bigoted perceptions of them--anyone can make mistakes, even with the best intentions. Unless the narrative they belong to is working through themes of prejudice and misunderstanding, then the default presumption of the narrator and/or other characters probably shouldn't be "oh hey, this guy's trans, he must have had bottom surgery" or "this guy isn't trans enough if he hasn't had The Surgery." But, it can be good worldbuilding if world views factor into their experiences and encounters, even if it means that doing so highlights that your trans character might be a minority or outlier, or even outcast. And it can be good development for a recurring character if they learn and grow from making transphobic mistakes, just as much as any mistake. (It can, to exhaust the point, also be fantastic characterization, if such a character instead doubles down on their bigoted mindset, thus underscoring that character's intractable moral compass, principles, and possible "no I'm 2000% right about this" mentality, for the worse. "Bad" characters can be very, very compelling, and provide complex opportunities for antagonists and foils.) Recurring characters don't have to experience growth to be part of your OC's hypothetical support network either.

I think I'd suggest three rules of thumb.

One, every trans person's got their differing comfort levels on how realistic any bigotry is depicted in the media they consume, or just how much the character's transness is core to the narrative. Some trans people just want the comfort of pure, frictionless, positive depictions of transness. Others want to power through rough and unforgiving antagonism and poor decisions in a fictional outlet. And while some might want a character's transness to be the main plot and have everything be about that character's transition journey, others would like a character to just happen to be trans.

Your narrative could place your character in a place that's very welcoming, supportive, and accepting of their identity. The character might have very few people they can be openly trans with. Your narrative might even place them in a position to have no support net. Uplifting, harrowing, or outright tragic, they're all valid narratives.

What I mean to say is, because there are so many different types of transness, and so many different narrative choices to make, even if you go a route that isn't transphobic, you're still likely to encounter trans people in fandom who aren't going to relate with your depiction. And that's okay.

Two, trans characters are more than just their transness. They can be proud of their identity, and it can be core to who they are, but they're always also their personality, taste in music, fashion, and culture. They're also shaped by their ethnic and national backgrounds, possible disabilities, friend circles, community, pets, socioeconomic standing, education, possible romantic history, and hobbies. Just like any other character, your transmasc character is a composite of traits. Even if being trans is a big core component to who your OC is, they still celebrate that identity their own unique way.

And three, though this one may be considered more controversial. Just like any other character, your transmasc character can be a composite of traits, both good and bad. Characters can be as complex and flawed as you want, full stop. Having a trans character make poor decisions, have bad faith opinions, and generally creating problems for themselves or others is perfectly acceptable, even if their transness might factor into the cause for those decisions or actions. As we move away from the Hays Code era, we've seen a 180-flip on LGBT in media where such characters can do no wrong. Yes, it's important to vary the depictions of queer lives. Yes, we need more variation than having no options than harmless unassuming backdrop characters or queer-coded villains. But LGBT people are people, and LGBT characters need to be permitted to embrace the same scope of humanity that cishet characters get to, and that includes what themes and traits we're allowed to explore in fiction. LGBT characters can suffer through internalized transphobia, or struggle with correctly gendering themselves. LGBT characters can be fantastic gay allies, but be extremely biphobic or racist. LGBT characters can be corporate criminals, shoplifters, manipulators, murderers. They can be as skilled or inept at anything as you want. As likeable or unpleasant as you like. LGBT characters can be given opportunities to grow and learn--and they can take those opportunities or refuse them. And they're still human at the end of the day, even if their choices create less than ideal outcomes.

That's the great thing about a character: they can do and be just about anything.

I hope this helps. My inbox is still open, and again, if any transmascs/transmen would like to weigh in on any of this, please do

[scriptlgbt]

I'm writing a story and I'd like to how trans people get/treat STDs. If they haven't had bottom surgery is it no different than someone with those parts who is cis? But if they have, what differences are there? How about someone with no genitals?

In general it's pretty much the same as it would be for cis people. Bloodwork and a urine sample are the standard, and aren't really any different based on what someone's genitalia is like.

Pap smears and other sorts of exams can be dysphoria inducing as well, and there's some situation where it may be difficult to use a speculum because of atrophy (which can be for all sorts of reasons, hormones, vaginismus, imperforate hymen, intersex stuff). And people whose vaginas are surgically constructed don't typically have a cervix, so pap smears don't really get done as far as I know. (Sometimes speculums are used for other things though, like making sure everything is healing right, trimming or removing stitches from surgery, etc.)

But for the most part, the differences for STI testing specifically are mostly social, and can go different ways based on who is administering the test. Pap smears are in particular stressful for trans people who may have genitalia that's been altered by hormones. (I know it's irrational but the worry about getting a boner during a pap test, for instance, has crossed my mind a lot.)

Some other testing can be thrown for a loop because of the way procedure etiquette works. I had to have a transvaginal ultrasound once to check for ovarian cysts and there were definitely parts of it that were weird for me. (Transvaginal ultrasounds involve the ultrasound wand going inside the front hole for an accurate reading of specific parts of the reproductive system.) For instance, the ultrasound tech was a cis man and as part of their protocol, a cis woman nurse had to be in the room while I underwent this procedure. I hadn't asked about that ahead of time or really thought anything about it - I was in the emergency room trying to get to the bottom of extreme abdominal pain and I figured I could endure what I needed to. But in an ideal world, I'd be able to ask for a non cis person to be in the room with me I think. (I came in an ambulance, which would not take my partner with me.) (It turned out to be a 4mm kidney stone by the way, no ovarian cysts.)

Another anecdote that may be relevant to this topic is that sometimes doctors get weird about not knowing what you're testing for, because they don't know what body parts you have (and which were added at what points, made of what material). Prior to the transvaginal ultrasound, a doctor asked me what "chromosomes" I had. I honestly told him I did not know, I hadn't ever had a karyotype test as far as I knew. The doctor stumbled over himself a lot and I don't remember what else he said right after that, other than he was fumbling, got corrected, and that he was clearly Trying His Best. I interrupted the second or third useless question with, "are you asking if I have ovaries in case it might be a burst ovarian cyst or something?"

He was instantly relieved and said yes, so I told him.

There's a big problem I've noticed, that when people talk about these sorts of topics, they aren't specific enough in order to address what they mean. We use euphemisms like "assigned female" because people don't know that someone "assigned female" can have literally any body type. People seem afraid to name body parts, so they use euphemisms that rely on stereotypes and assumptions in order to be understood. But when you realize that people "assigned female" can be intersex, can have hysterectomies, can have testes, can have phalloplasties, and that everyone's parts are more or less analogous (skenes gland = prostate, etc), you realize how useless these broad categories are. If you want to ask if someone could carry a pregnancy, ask if they could carry a pregnancy. Not if they have certain chromosomes or were DFAB. Specifics matter. If I knew I was XY, that doctor would probably have assumed that the pattern of people with XY chromosomes not menstruating would include me. And if I did have ovarian cysts, or even a pregnancy, this could have dramatically impacted my health outcomes. (There have been stillbirths because of situations like this where people did not act fast enough because of ignorance around trans bodies.) I could have given in and guessed my chromosomes when the doctor asked, but what if my answer turned out to not be true? And what if the lack of confidence in my answer saved my life in some way?

I realize this is pretty far deviated from your original topic, but in terms of testing difficulties, it does feel like the sort of anecdote that would be very informative about these issues.

- mod nat