#he's just a drama queen and likes to scare people for no reason

[waterlogged-detective]

6 for darcy!! Especially considering their own medical experience

OC Asks!!

6: If they were badly injured, and for whatever reason couldn't go to a hospital, who would they go to for help?

Bold of you to assume he would ever go to a hospital in the first place. He just deals with things himself. He would amputate his own arm if it came down to it, because he just trusts himself more than anyone else.

Most you're gonna get out of him asking for help with anything medical is "Hold this tourniquet for me. Great." or "Here's a watch, if I can't get the finger reattached within five minutes, yell at me for making it unusable will you?"

Even when he was alive as a resurrectionist VERY LEGAL AND UPSTANDING SURGEON he just cut out the middle man in everything. If you want something done right just do it yourself and all that jazz.

[tender-rosiey]

how would modern day sukuna be like a father? :o

nerves — ryomen sukuna x f!reader

a/n: no curses au, lovelies! thank you for being so patient MWUAH and of course, merry christmas to everyone who celebrates it!

when one thinks of sukuna, one thinks of a broad muscular man covered in tattoos with a sharp jawline and an even sharper tongue punching the hell out of anyone.

you never think of the same man carrying a pink glittery bag and his own little pretty princess.

“do you have your lunch box?”

“yup!”

he quirks an eyebrow, “you sure?”

your daughter nods excitedly before looking over her dad’s shoulder. she grins when she finally sees you and excitedly calls you over, “mama! ‘morning!”

a smile instantly appears you on your face as you make your way towards your little sweetheart, “good morning, baby!”

you take her into your arms—ignoring your husband—and you kiss her cheek, “you excited for your first day of school?”

“mhm!” she gasped suddenly, “mama, look at my hair! papa made it for me!” she giggles, proudly showing off her ponytail.

you look with a knowing look and a small smile at your husband.

sukuna frowns and looks away, “it was easy anyway,” he then glares at you, “don’t make a big deal out of it.”

you giggle and pad your way towards him, resting your arm on his shoulder and gently kissing his lips, “it’s a really cute deal, though.”

you lightly bounce your daughter in your other arm, “right, d/n?”

“yeah! papa is the best!” she cheers, hugging him tightly.

your husband groans, but—nonetheless—his arms are wrapped around you two, “you two are such drama queens.”

he leans slightly, mouth near your ear as he whispers, “you better give me a proper fucking kiss when we drop the brat off.”

you gasp lightly and smack his shoulder, “watch your language!” you watch him scrunch his face—most likely about to sass you—so you press a quick kiss to your daughter’s cheek then your husband’s.

you then push them through the door with a nervous smile, “okay, bye! have a great time and don’t forget that mama loves you!”

“I love you too, mama!”

of course, you would’ve loved to accompany your daughter to school, especially on her first day, but the darn office just happened to call for you right now.

sukuna knows that, and so does your cute daughter, so there is a reason why they were both so reluctant to leave.

anyway, back to the present.

your husband’s frown is still evident as he is robbed yet again from a ‘proper’ kiss. he picks your daughter up easily and then throws her in the car.

she, as always, finds it funny and starts laughing her little butt off. sukuna rolls his eyes, and gets into the car himself.

he puts on the playlist that your daughter made herself, and finally starts the car. the ride is quiet, if you don’t count the singing and screaming of your daughter.

of course, sukuna can’t do anything about it—even if he knows that he doesn’t want her to stop in the first place.

the school isn’t that far away anyway, so they reach it in no time. your husband skilfully parks in front of the gate and takes his seatbelt off.

he doesn’t hear hurried unbuckling of a belt or nonstop squealing and fidgeting, so he looks at his daughter, “what’s up?”

she fidgets with the hem of her shirt then speaks up, softly, “I am—scared.”

he furrows his eyebrow, turning his entire body towards her, “huh? why? you were so excited with your mom earlier and you were screaming my ear off about it yesterday.”

“I know,” she murmurs then frowns, “…but what if people don’t like me?”

sukuna is stunned for a moment. he isn’t the one to normally deal with your daughter whenever she needed deep or meaningful emotional advice.

that was what you did, especially since you are able to read your daughter pretty well.

but he tries his best cause he would be damned if he isn’t the best father. his hand is placed on her head, albeit a bit roughly.

she whines, “papa, my hair!”

he takes a moment, “I…” he starts then quietens down for a second, and even then, you’re daughter is looking intently at him.

he then looks at her again, “they will love you. you’re a good kid."

your daughter’s eyes widen at her dad’s unfiltered compliment. she beams, quickly unbuckling her belt and throwing herself into his arms.

her smile is so wide it almost hurts her, but her heart feels so full because of her dad’s praise that she couldn’t care about anything other than him.

he slowly starts patting her head, “and if someone bothers you, I will just beat them up.”

“mama said no violence!” your daughter scolds and almost on cue, your face appears on the screen: you’re calling!

looks like you managed to squeeze in some time to check up on her. your daughter swiftly presses on answer and chirps, “hi mama!”

“hi baby! why are you not in school yet?” you question, eyes darting towards your husband, questioning.

“papa wanted to get some food first, so we just arrived!”

sukuna is—internally—flabbergasted. this liar. he is about to interject, but then he ponders about it for a moment: maybe she doesn’t want you to see her hesitant about the whole school thing.

maybe she wants to appear strong—with no weak points—in front of her mother. then he breathes out a chuckle, at least she takes after him in something.

“sukuna! she could’ve been late!” you huff then sigh, “good thing that you guys moved early anyway.”

your eyes then focus on your daughter, “how’re you feeling?”

“excited!”

“any nerves or anything?” you ask knowingly, but she shakes her head.

she hugs sukuna tighter, “I was a little nervous, but papa made me feel better!”

you grin, “did he now?”

he notices the teasing glint behind your eyes and looks away to avoid your gaze. your daughter giggles at her dad’s behaviour, and so do you.

and your husband has never felt more teamed up on than now. she hears the bell rings, “oh! I gotta go now!”

“bye papa!” she kisses her dad’s cheek, “bye mama!” then kisses the phone’s screen. you blow her a kiss back, and she dashes out of the car, ready to start her day.

even while walking towards the building, she turns again to her dad and waves at him happily.

sukuna nods and she grins, switching her focus back on the school. his focus is on her intently, until you speak up, “I am proud of you.”

his gaze snaps to you, expecting a teasing smirk, but instead you’re smiling warmly at him. his heart contracts in a way that makes him feel weird, and he can’t find it in him to give you a snarky reply.

he groans, “she is my daughter as much as she is yours, y’know.”

you hum, “of course, she is,” he hears rustling on the other line, so he assumes you’re checking some papers before turning to him again, “she takes after you in more ways than one.”

“yeah, I noticed,” he says quietly, and you laugh.

he notices from the corner of his eyes his daughter laughing excitedly with a bunch of others girls, and he lets out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding.

you tap on your desk a little, “you nervous?”

“if someone hurts her, I will kill them.”

“I figured."

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copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[mehkers]

First Day of School! …in the human realm!?

Ndfnjfjd- Sitting in my first period while writing this

Basically it’s just how the boy’s first impressions would be from another student perspective (not Mc).

Warnings: Cursing, none rlly

It takes place in a high school environment

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucifer

Edgy mf

People would look at him and just know that he probably listens to MCR

Rbf the entire time

I think he’s already gained some frown lines

Def gives off ‘I’m better than you puny creatures’

Always reached his classroom on time (or earlier)

All the girls love him, and their boyfriends hate him

Is quite polite when you talk with him, but his annoyed expression says otherwise

Mammon

IM TOO YOUNG AND HOT TO BE STUCK IN PRISON

Shuts up when he gets punched by Lucifer

He gets along with everyone easily

The loudest in the class… possibly the entire school

Wearing designer clothes, so he attracts a lot of attention

Is always lost

Man doesn’t know how to read a map

He’s already made a bunch of friends

Loves school but hates the studying part (Me too Mamms 😔)

Leviathan

Save him please

His gloomy vibes is spreading to everyone

The amount of Ruri-Chan keychains he has on his bag is making too much noise

THIS IS NOT A SUITABLE ENVIRONMENT FOR A SHUT-IN OTAKU

He had to have his ass dragged by Beel who was also carrying Belphie

He is extremely shy and jumpy

Will stick to himself to entire time

Buuuut, as soon as he sees any anime merch- He’s surprisingly louder than Mammon

He wouldn’t have much friends, but he’s at least made an effort to talk to some people

Satan

Sighs

He gives Dr. Ratio vibes (hsr ref)

Look at all these peasants- WAIT IS THAT A DETECTIVE NOVEL YOU’RE READING!?

You all know it, I don’t even have to say it.. He’s in the library

I can only imagine his devastation when he sees the ‘library’ at my school

If it’s a good library, like an actual library, bro is gonna have the biggest and brightest smile the entire day that it actually becomes a bit creepy

If it’s a lame-ass library, like barely any books, you’d look at him from across the hallway and think he killed a person

Would throw a fit (I would know, cuz I did too)

He’s very charming, so all the ladies would def keep their eyes on him

He’s befriended the students, the teachers, the staff, the janitor, the PRINCIPAL-

Asmodues

Oh hun, he’s already the queen bee and center of all the drama in school

Everyone’s insecure when they see his pretty ass strutting down the halls

Not even the school air can get him

Dude already has all the scoop (he may or may not have been the reason for most it)

People would probably look at him and think ‘Oh.. he’s that popular type..”

But when they talk to him, he’s actually super sweet!

Just uh.. ignore how many students he’s already kissed ._.

Beelzebub

Tallest mofo there

Is constantly being stopped and complimented cause of his height

He’s not reserved or shy, he just doesn’t talk much

He’s the one guy who has a whole snack stall in his backpack

His locker is just filled with snacks

He is rocking gym class and/or weight training class

He’s made friends with all the jocks

Everyone’s scared of him after seeing him go on a hunger rampage when the cafeteria didn’t give him enough food-

Belphegor

If you think he’d make an effort to talk to anyone

You’re dead wrong

He’s every teacher’s worst nightmare

Sleeping in every class

Even while he’s walking down the halls

Kept getting in trouble cause of it? but since he’s a little shit, he didn’t care

Everyone mostly stayed clear of him since he gave off the ‘wake me up and your dead’ vibes

He answers every question right tho

Would totally tempt the other students to give into laziness and despair just to mess with them

And to add on to Lucifer’s growing collection of white hair

Hasn’t made any friends by the end of the day

+Bonus~!

Mc

Biggest badass

Literally survived RAD, a human school should be fine

Everyone’s confused and jealous how some random person has the attention of all the 7 new students

Literally untouchable

Talk of the town since they entered the school with the brothers

Don’t even try, you don’t have a chance to get with them

[starhvney]

Heyyy I just found your account and I adore it!!! If requests are still open could I request a Travis x reader where they just moved to the street and travis has been trying to woo them (and its highkey working). And one night theres this huge storm and the lower goes out while theyre at travis and dantes and Travis claims they need to “cuddle for warmth” (Dantes off somewhere idk) and its just really cute and he confesses his feelings and is a huge dork? Sorry if thats too specific, thank you so much and I hope your day has been lovely 💖

𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: mys travis x reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: a power outage at a very inconveniencing time happens to be just the push you need to 

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: fluff, sharing a bed, travis being a dork, he wants to be suave so bad, like no sweetie you’re just cute, anyways yeah, you both smooch at the end hehehe he likes youuuu

𝐂𝐖: none? a small innuendo i suppose

𝐀/𝐍: i love travis my cutie schnookims! anyways i slightly changed the plot but it’s basically the same? i hope you like it regardless! Have a good day :)

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

it was time for one of aphmau’s annual parties, and the girl had enthusiastically made a point to include you with her friend group to join in on their celebration. from the way she described it, it sounded like it would be a fun time, and as the new girl in the neighborhood, you definitely couldn’t reject the generous notion. 

especially when you found out that most of your neighbors had already been friends with each other since high school. it was really intimidating, to be thrown in a place where everyone around you already had a bond. how did they all even manage to find these nice houses next to each other?

you were grateful that they all were really friendly and seemed really open to letting in new people into the group. one had been especially friendly—a certain man with white hair and charmingly bright green eyes. you couldn’t lie he was attractive, and honestly one of the funniest ones in the group, but with his overly confident “womanizer” attitude you couldn’t help but obliviously ignore his advances on you.

it wasn’t that you weren’t interested. but you wouldn’t be easy against his rather brazen pickup lines and… dorky charm. he’d have to work for it. besides, it was kind of fun to watch him chase after you like a lost puppy.

that’s what brings you here, in your kitchen, the night before the party with travis himself. after all, you hadn’t accepted his flirtatious moves, but you most definitely hadn’t rejected them, either. everyone volunteered to cook a dish for the party in the group chat, and conveniently he happened to once again be loitering in your house—a habit he had started after you made it known he was welcome—as everyone discussed what they’d bring. he’d suggested for you both to hang out and cook your dishes together, and you couldn’t let down that hopeful glint in the man’s eyes.

“travis, now why in the world would you think mustard is scary. you have got to be messing with me right now.” you scoff, leaning back on your counter.

“i’m not!” he defends with his hands up, snickering at the unimpressed face you shoot him. “a lot of people get unnerved by random things for no reason! like mushrooms, and lots of holes, and even just a drop of blood!”

he points up as the window flashes with light, a loud thunder strike from the storm raging on outside cracking right after. “and thunderstorms!”

“okay, drama queen. i’d say being scared of thunderstorms and blood is a lot more justifiable than a condiment.” you scoff, before frowning as the wind howls and aggressively throws thick pellets of rain into your windows. “speaking of which, i’m not scared of storms but i don’t know if walking or even driving back down the street to your house would be safe 

travis’s eyebrows raise, pretty dark eyelashes brushing along his cheekbones as he blinks at you in surprise. a second later he’s leaning onto the counter with a goofy-looking smirk on his face.

“so, you want me to stay?—”

crack!

“oh!” you startle, not missing how travis also jumped in place too. “i’m surprised the power hasn’t gone out yet…”

“don’t—” travis starts only to be interrupted by another loud crash of thunder from the sky, the both of you getting sent into complete darkness. “…jinx it.”

for a moment the both of you stand in your kitchen in silence, listening as the heater powers down along with the gentle whir of your household appliances. if you could see each other in this moment you imagine you’d both be awkwardly standing with your arms by your sides. another flash of lightning briefly lights up the room to show your assumption was correct, and you burst into giggles after seeing travis’s pressed lips and wide eyes.

“huh? why are you laughing?” travis asks, though the amused warble in his voice gives himself away before he starts laughing with you.

it wasn’t freezing cold outside, but it most definitely wasn’t warm enough to get away with not having the heater on in your house. the immediate lack of hot air rushing through the vents sent a small chill against your skin, even through your warm pajamas.

your laughter stops as realization of your situation seeps in with the cold. not only was your heater off, but so was your fridge and your…

“oh my god our food is ruined.”

there’s a dreadful pause for silence—and now that your eyes are adjusting to the dark—you see travis whip his head to look down at the oven, where your dishes were only halfway cooked inside.

“…damn.”

“that's all you have to say, travis?” you chide.

“what? i mean, there’s nothing we can do about it, right?”

a disappointed sigh leaves your lips before you reach over to your phone, the screen lighting up to show the late hour it already was. there’s no telling how long the power would be out, and this was enough for the wind to blow out of your sails. you can’t be bothered to try and figure out a way to fix this.

a full-body shiver wracks your body as you stare blankly at your screen.

“hey, i can help you remake everything tomorrow morning if it’s ruined by then.” travis suddenly says. 

his voice is a bit closer, and you realize he’s moved right in front of you, part of his face now also glowing in your phone’s dim light. the look on his face is genuine and he seems almost worried, his own lips mimicking your own downturned expression. it makes you sigh, dropping your tense shoulders as another rumble of thunder vibrates through your house.

travis gently sets his hand over yours and your phone. “why don’t you sleep and i can come back in the morning?”

“come back?” you repeat. “no way you’re going back in this weather, that’s so dangerous! plus you’ll get sick.”

travis stares down at both of your slippered feet, then over to the kitchen windows, then back to you. “okay, i’ll stay if you want me to.”

you shiver again as you nod, crossing your arms to conserve the heat from escaping your body. you’re surprised at how calm and passive he was being. it’s not like he was always overbearing with his flirting and jokes, but it seemed to always be a part of his personality—not whatever this… soft, quiet version of him was.

“cold already?” he asks, rocking on his feet himself as he clenches and unclenches his hands.

“yeah… i didn’t know i needed the heater running that much, but i guess the storm made it even colder…” you mutter.

you catch his smirk through the dark. “well i know one way we can warm each other up—”

ah, there he is.

you’re about to swing a slap wherever it would land in the dark, though you stop when the suggestion clicks in your brain as an opportunity to give in to his advances—but with a perfect excuse.

“oh yeah! we can do that!”

travis’s eyes blow wide open as he takes a step back, a few startled coughs leaving his lips from inhaling too suddenly.

“wait, what?!”

“we can cuddle.”  you simply return. “since there’s no heater!”

he deflates his tense shoulders, nervous laughs leaving his lips. “oh, yeah! right, yeah. cool cool cool. that’s what i meant.”

turning on your phone flashlight you grab his hand, guiding him through your house while trying to hold back the urge to laugh at his flustered state. you wish the lights were on only so you could see whether he was blushing or not.

your bedroom was already a bit chilly compared to the kitchen, since it was at the far end of the house away from the main flow of your ac system. it makes you pull travis closer as you speed up your steps to your bed, finally letting go of him to rip open the comforter and dive into the sheets.

shimmying over to make room for him, you wave him to you through the dark to get in himself. you watch him rock back and forth on his feet before leaning over, crawling in right next to you and keeping just an inch of distance between the two of you.

“you sure you’re okay with this?” he whispers to you.

“yeah, of course i am.”

this seems to set off a green light for him, his arms circling around your waist and pulling you practically on top of him. you feel his feet kick next to yours, squeaking out a tiny “yay!” in celebration. the act was insanely adorable for the grown age he was at.

you can only quietly giggle at his antics, unable to nonchalantly play it off as usual. you hug him back, tucking yourself under his chin, and you feel his chest swell in a happy inhale. 

“i love you.” he sighs, a dopey smile evident in his tone. 

it makes your heart stutter in your chest, eyes wide open as they stare at his chest in the dark. 

“…what?”

his arms tense around you, breath hitching like he just realized what he said and beginning to stutter out an excuse. “um… i mean… not like…! oh my—i’m so sorry—”

“you really like me?” you ask, pulling back enough to make out his face in the dark. his eyes are wide and round, face in shock and embarrassment as if he had just slipped and fell in front of a whole crowd.

“i… i mean… isn’t it obvious?” he whispers sheepishly.

“well, you flirt with a lot of people. i didn’t know if you meant it with me or not.”

“no, not anymore!” he lurches himself closer to you. “didn’t you notice i only do that with you now?”

you blink as you try to recall a recent time you’ve seen or heard travis trying to use a pick up line or even staring at another one of the girls, and you honestly can’t recall it.

“…i guess so.” you mutter, and he squeezes you to him.

“so i do mean it with you! i know i can be really stupid and a little annoying, but—”

“you’re not annoying, travis. the things you do are a little stupid sometimes—”

“hey!”

“—but i think it’s cute.”

his jaw drops and mouth opens in shock. “you…you do? wait, do you…?”

you nod. “i like you.”

there’s a beat of silence, before he pulls you tight against him. a second later he rolls you around with him very similarly to how a crocodile rolls their prey, though the taller and heavier man thankfully keeps his weight from completely crushing you.

“travis!” you laugh, groaning at the sudden movement as you’re captured and thrown around like a rag doll. “how do you have this energy right now?”

“really?” he squeals, giggling like a schoolgirl. “you like me?”

“yes! now release me! please!” you breathlessly laugh.

he at least stops the rolling at your pleading, though he keeps you in his bear hug as he holds you on top of him.

“so, does this mean you want to date me?” he eagerly asks, still breathing heavily from the death roll he just made you endure.

you rest your forehead on his chest, quietly laughing to yourself in a bit of shock of what you just admitted. how did you give in so easily? you were hoping to drag this out for at least another month!

“it’s so late. why don’t we talk about this in the morning?”

he deflates and audibly pouts with a dejected sigh, and despite his dramatics clearly being played up you can’t help but still feel a bit guilty. rising up to your elbows you lean over him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and another on his lips.

"you dork." you chide under your breath.

his eyes are so wide you can see the whites all around the dark green of his irises. suddenly his hands are cupping your cheeks, and he’s bringing you down for a longer kiss. he pulls away a few moments later, seeming much more satisfied than he was a few moments ago.

“okay… we can talk in the morning.” he agrees breathlessly, staring up at you like he’d been locked away in a cave all his life and you were his first glance at the stars in the sky.

it makes the smile on your face impossible to fight, and you don’t think you care to anymore.

“good night, travis.”

“good night, hon.”

©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.

taglist: @wasting-away-on-the-internet

[aphroditesswan]

Hellooooo ♡

New request like always 😋☝️

This time a s/o who's scared of roaches (I am scared of em) like they hate roaches with pure passion. And imagine s/o screaming cause a roach crawled on them (I cried when it happend to me)

Fandom: obey me!

(Idk if u can tell but I'm asking for evey Fandom u write for, so each Fandom can have there own lobe ♡)

Anyways see u in the next request ♡♡♡

ick - lay bankz

obey me brother x mc

summary: you find some terrifying demon lookin ahh bug while with the brothers

warnings: bugs, some brothers being coños, cursing, intentional lowercase (this annoys some people for some odd reason??) ooc probably

genre: crack fluff ish i think

notes: RAW ASS BITCH HE MIGHT GET SALMONELLA RED BOTTOMS DONT FIT IM A HOOD CINDERELLA 🔥🔥🔥 also im sorry this took a solid 9 months chat but i’m back on that grind 🫡🫡 this was hard for me to write i haven’t played the game in a year and a half or something

Lucifer

out of instinct, you yell for him. by now he has a headache, having to deal with his brothers yelling for him (or at him) all day and now you? he could care less but alas, he is your lover, he is obligated to attend to your needs. he opens the door to your room, not even able to speak before a pillow is thrown at his legs.

“sorry! but look downn,” you whisper, like the insect could hear you. however, he does as you say and looks down and out of the corner of his eye, sees exactly whats making you flip out. he sighes, walking softly to the bug, calmly squashing it under his foot and rubbing it into the wood floor, almost as if to make a point.

he sighs again, “is that all, my dear?” and you nod your head, thanking him and sighing of relief once he leaves to go back to his work.

Mammon

he knocked on your door, waiting patiently for you to open it. when all he was met with was a slight rustling from inside the room, he rolled his eyes and barged in.

“what are you- OH MY GOD A BUG” he stepped back as soon as he stepped inside, holding onto his chest like a middle aged white woman finding out her son smokes weed when he’s out for 6 hours after school instead of studying.

“RIGHT??? HELP ME” you motioned to yourself, then to the floor, then finally to your position perched on the desk.

“HOW?”

“GO GET LUCIFER OR SOMETHING I DONT KNOW.”

“absolutely not. you’re on your own.”

he walked out the door, backwards as to not lose sight of the ugly creature, then shut the door. as soon as you figured out a way to kill this bug, he was next.

Leviathan

you were perched up on your dresser, already restoring to throwing things at the poor bug who made its way into your room. leviathan walked in upon hearing the continuous loud thuds from your room.

“what the hell are you doing?” he mumbled, but it was still audible.

“levi! get it out, please!” he sighed, grabbing a tissue from your tissue box on your nightstand and gently picking up the tiny bug and throwing it out the window.

“happy, weirdo?” he asked as he helped you down from the dresser as you thanked him.

“you so owe me for this.” which means you’re buying him something stupid and unnecessarily expensive.

Asmodeus

you were sitting at you and your boyfriends shared vanity as he was just getting out of the shower, ever so slightly glancing to the left at the wall when you saw the most ginormous, disgusting thing EVER on the wall. you instantly screamed, asmodeus slamming the door open while clutching a towel.

“WHAT IS IT??”

“ITS A BUG.”

and at that, he screamed even louder and more high pitched than you did. you rubbed your temples, watching him panic at the sight of a bug. of course you were freaked out, but he’s the biggest drama queen you know and if you didn’t get rid of it, he’d hold the biggest grudge in hell. you reached for a lotion bottle, throwing it at the wall where the bug stood. sadly, you missed. the bug went down towards the bottom of the wall, and you grabbed yet another product to throw at it before asmo protested.

“you missed once, dont try again!”

you huffed, winding back your arm to throw the container. yet again, you missed. now, as the tiny thing crawled closer and closer, you and a barely covered asmo cowered on the bed together waiting for one of his brothers to come and save you.

Satan

you pulled yourself onto the counter, practically jumping up as you yelped and grabbed your lovers arm, pointing wordlessly to the bug on the floor.

“oh hush, its tiny.”

“i dont care, kill it!”

he looked between you and the bug, about to step on it before you protested again.

“ew its gonna be on the kitchen floor! put it outside first!”

to which he furrowed his brows, but he loved you so he was going to listen to your orders when you said to put the bug outside before killing it so it wouldn’t bother you. he chased the bug out with his foot, looking back once both were outside.

“are you happy now?”

“very.”

to which, he squashed the creature with the tip of his shoe, wiping it clean on the ground before coming back for you to thank him with a small kiss on the cheek, to which he rolled his eyes as he lifted you up and down from the counter by your waist.

Beezebulb

to say he was confused was an understatement.

this was the first he’d seen you freak out this hard and much less over a bug, so he has no clue what he should do in this situation.

“kill it, beel!” you watched cautiously as the bug practically circled the table. if you didnt know any better, you’d say it was taunting you. he however saw no problem with the bug, “its just a bug, its not bothering you.”

he held out his hand for you to hold and get down from the table, but obviously you refused.

“beel! just kill the damn bug already!” you complained, panicked eyes shifting between him and the bug who stood in place.

he didn’t care much for killing the bug. he stood next to the table, eating his fries and watching the bug with you. this action confused you.

“beel, please! i have to get down so i can charge my phone!” you complained yet again, but he still ignored you.

after a while of your pleading and whining (really once he finished his fries), he walks off and leaves the room. you’re about to yell for him when he comes back with a tissue that he used to squish the bug and throw it out before offering to help you down again.

Belphegor

you attempted to shake him awake, your legs against your chest as you looked between Belphegor’s sleeping figure and the nasty unknown creature on the floor.

“belphegor,, belphegor,, WAKE UP”

you shook aggressively, eventually resulting in smacking his arm til he lazily rubbed his eyes.

“and what are you waking me up at 4 in the afternoon for?”

he rolled over to face you, glaring up at you a bit with tired eyes. you pointed to the ground, softly mumbling,

“theres a weird demon bug on the floor.”

you frowned scooting closer to belphegor and panicking a bit when it inched a bit closer to the bed.

your boyfriend sighed, moving your legs down from against your chest and pulling you down to rest against the pillows again, all so he could properly hold onto your waist as he closed his eyes again.

“oh hush, it’ll go away eventually or beel will kill it. nap with me.”

you should’ve known he was going to be no help at all.

i just wanna thank you all so so soooo much for waiting and being so patient with me, i know i was sooo unactive these past couple months but trust me i’ll keep a steady schedule of at least one fic biweekly if i can, but for now i’ll try and churn out as many fics as possible! i’m also working on a masterlist and an intro! again, thank you all so much for your patience!

[zhongster]

If you're still willing to write for Stardew, can we get some headcanons about... anyone, really?

Oh absolutely dearest, it was actually a burp fic that got me into stardew valley in the first place way back in 2018 (it was about Sebastian and Sam was there too i think??) but for the life of me I haven’t been able to find it again

Anyway here are some headcanons for my personal favorite character: Elliott <3

THIS IS KINK CONTENT, DNI IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT

First of all Elliott is a huge drama queen

He might actually get embarrassed and cry if he burps in front of the farmer early in their relationship

Especially because this man’s burps are NOT small

They are BELCHY every. single. time.

I truly believe he’s such a dark horse and could easily out belch Shane if you give him beer

Wine burps

WINE BURPS GUYS

If he burps and tastes the wine it’s game over he’s like “aaaand that’s enough”

I personally hc him as being from a wealthy old money southern family (that he cut contact with bc they suck) so he has one of those rich people honey-thick southern accents

So i could totally see him full on BELCHING and then bringing a hand to his chest like “oh my lord, pardon me” with that southern drawl

Despite how overdramatic and embarrassed he’d be before he and the farmer start dating/in the early days of their relationship I feel like once he got comfortable he’d pretty much just let them out (within reason) without thinking much about it

If something absolutely wet and vile and disgusting came outta him he’d just cover his mouth with both hands and stand there in shock

I feel like he spends a lot of his time at his desk writing and drinking either red wine or tea (and forgetting to eat) so he ends up with a lot of air in his stomach

He’s very prone to liquid bloating since he does forget to eat and quells his stomach with drinks

He’ll let out some really good ones right there at his desk and just continue writing

Beer really gets his stomach bloated af

He usually avoids it for that reason but on holidays he has been known to indulge

Also Elliott has a surprising amount of kink worthy lines that are actually in the game its kind of insane

One such example:

He has a specific line where he stuffs himself during the winter feast and my brain went haywire with that one

He also definitely loves belly rubs

This is a man that likes to be pampered especially when he has a sore, bloated belly

If and when he and the farmer have children his burps have definitely woken the baby up on numerous occasions

They’re like prime for child-scaring

As in canon, he’s also very prone to hiccups

And the only way he can successfully get them to go away is to hit himself on the chest and try to force up the biggest belch possible

Sometimes he even has to swallow air to do it

I have a very specific image of him in my head letting out these monstrous burps while he fusses with his hair in the mirror

Or while he’s gathering his hair into a ponytail

He’s super casual about it too

Like I don’t think he understands how genuinely massive his burps actually are

He hears them all the time so he’s like??? Desensitized to how loud they are???

So when the farmer’s like “Jesus?!?!?” It takes him a second to be like “OH! OH THAT WAS LOUD I BEG YOUR PARDON” (again with the twang)

here’s a video reference

[lookwhatyoumademedohaha]

And that kids is, how I met your mother Chapter 3 - Call it what you want

All my flowers grew back as thorns Windows boarded up after the storm He built a fire just to keep me warm All the drama queens taking swings All the jokers dressin' up as kings They fade to nothin' when I look at him

And I know I make the same mistakes every time Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right I did one thing right I'm laughin' with my lover, makin' forts under covers Trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night

Summary: Nikolai Lantsov is sick and you take care of him and both of you have epiphanies as you let your guard down. 

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Reader, Nikolai Lantsov x Six of Crows Reader, Kaz Brekker x Reader, Zoya Nazyalensky x Reader (Platonic), Nina Zenik x Reader (Platonic), Genya Safin x Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: Pure tooth rotting fluff, angst and comfort, lots of humor, unrequited love that might be requited, denial, pining, mentions of death and violence, nightmares, mentions of traumatic childhood and sickness, references to It’s Okay Not to Be Okay TV Show.

A/N: Hi everyone! I’m very grateful for your kindness, love and support that means the world to me! After a long wait, here is the long anticipated and awaited Chapter 3 to this work, you have all been waiting for patiently so thank you for your patience!  I hope you all like it and I’m excited! Let me know your thoughts and comments on my work because it means a lot to me! I love you all! Happy reading!

Chapter 1 - Until I Found Her

Chapter 2 - Labyrinth 

Chapter 4 - Someone to Stay

Chapter 5 - Cornelia Street

You had no reason to be here. 

In fact, you should have been outside enjoying the nice sunshine, the lovely fragrance of flowers and cool wind. You could be anywhere at the moment. You could be training with Zoya, taking walks with Genya and David or just gossiping with Nina over your favorite sweets and hot tea. 

But here you were in Nikolai Lantsov’s chambers as you gazed at him, his blonde hair messed and disheveled, beads of sweat running down his forehead as he muttered in feverish delirium. 

Nikolai had been unwell for three days. The Healer who had been annoyed by your irritating disposition of questioning them in worry had stated that it was a fever with a cold and cough that would last a week but Nikolai would be fine. But that didn’t ease the anxiety and worry that coiled in your stomach every time you looked at Nikolai’s pale, sweaty and feverish face. He looked no better than he was the past days. Nikolai had met you in the morning three days ago looking rather unwell and when you suggested he should go rest, he had collapsed onto the ground unconscious. The feeling of dread and worry that you had felt in that moment still lingered with you. 

You knew you should leave now. You had stayed long enough. You had been by Nikolai’s bedside for the past three days watching over him, looking after him, nursing him and holding his hand in his feverish delirium when he called out for you. You didn’t plan to stay with him but something about Nikolai lying so still and unmoving made you brave through your loathing for sickbeds as you dabbed cool towels on his forehead and fed him gently through his bleary consciousness where he was barely awake. You first had insisted on sitting there watching him but Nina had persuaded you to eat and sleep. When Nikolai was asleep, you would read to him, talk to him, help Zoya, Genya and David with state affairs and brighten up Nikolai’s room with flowers.

Now you were staring at Nikolai who was burning up with fever as you desperately dabbed a watery cold cloth on his forehead as you looked at him helplessly. 

You didn’t know why you were crying. It was maybe because you hated sitting near sick people waiting for them to wake up. It was maybe because you missed Nikolai who was loud, joked around and smiled brightly and it scared you that he was lying on the dozens of pillows pale and sickly, weak and unconscious. You admonished yourself for being childish and silly as you wiped away your tears that you knew wouldn’t change anything. Crying didn’t bring what you lost. 

You wiped away your tears as you looked at Nikolai earnestly and honestly and then lightly slapped him on his cheek “ Listen to me, you ridiculous boy. I don’t care if you get better or not... there are plenty of ridiculous, silly, idiotic kings who I can become friends with. But... I’m going to give you one more chance, Nikolai Lantsov.”

You squeezed his hand gently as you smiled softly at him and didn’t let go. As the moments passed by, the sleepiness overtook you and you drifted into sleep next to Nikolai, your book forgotten on your lap. 

After an hour, Nikolai stirred through the darkness of his consciousness, feeling heavy headed and sore as everything ached within him. The light struck his sleepy and bleary eyes that fluttered open as his mouth felt like sandpaper and his body ached in exhaustion and pain. His head thrummed in pain as he shifted himself upwards feeling something soft and steady in his hand. Nikolai blinked as his eyes landed upon you lounged lazily on a chair next to his bed as your hair was a mop of messy tangled hair as your head lay on his bed next to his hand you were holding onto tightly. 

Nikolai’s jaw dropped in surprise as he blinked and then once hoping that this wasn’t a dream as he stared complete surprise and wonder unfurling and blooming in his chest at the sight of you sleeping next to him, waiting for him to wake up. It looked uncomfortable to sleep like that and Nikolai wondered how many days, hours you had been there next to him. Nikolai had never expected anyone to be there next to his bed when he woke up. He had never had anyone waiting for him to wake up and inquire whether he was fine when he was sick. They only cared about the King’s good health not about how the boy was feeling. 

Seeing your head lying down on his bed as you squeezed his hand gently and tightly made a lump of emotion grow in his throat, as his fingers quietly traced little patterns on your skin. Nikolai’s lips twitched into a small smile as he stared at your peaceful expression, relaxed stance as you slept deeply and he knew this was something he wanted forever. 

At that very moment, the door opened as Nina walked in startling Nikolai from the blissful and intimate moment he was enjoying as she observed in gladness that he was awake “Saints! Thank the Saints, you are alive and awake! Y/N was driving everyone crazy around here!”

Nikolai’s throat was parched as Nina handed over a glass of water to him and he didn’t miss the teasing smirk she threw at him as she looked at his hand intertwined in yours as you slept next to him “Nina Zenik... how long was I out?”

“Three days. You were having a raging fever with a really bad cough and cold.” said Nina honestly as she handed over another glass of water to a thankful Nikolai who drank it greedily and Nina smirked as she nodded toward you “Well, well... you two seem to be very cozy with each other.”

Nikolai nearly choked on his water as he started coughing “I - this - nothing happened between us! I woke up like this and she was just holding my hand!”

“Uh huh? So why are you still holding onto her hand?” asked Nina with a teasing grin while Nikolai glared at Nina, his head hurting really badly and Nina laughed knowingly “Don’t wake her up. She has had no proper sleep staying next to you all the time these three days.”

“What?” queried Nikolai stunned and shocked at the revelation of you staying by his bedside every moment of the three days where he tossed and turned in sickness and restlessness. Nikolai felt something odd and wonderful bloom in his chest as he wondered why you would do that for him. “Y/N... she was here with me all this time?”

“Oh yeah. Such a stubborn ass, wouldn’t leave you alone. She insisted on nursing you and looking after you. She nearly strangled and had a shouting match with the Healer because you weren’t getting better.” said Nina honestly and sincerely, her lips twitching into a small smirk at remembering how today morning Zoya, Genya and her had to calm down a fight between you and a Healer who had argued about the best course of medicine to be taken. “I’ve never seen her so worried about anyone.”

Nikolai’s eyes glinted in amusement and surprise as he looked at you softly amazed at how protective and worried you had been over him. There you were resting deeply, your head wandering in peaceful and sweet dreams where your worries and nightmares were washed away. 

“I didn’t know.” whispered Nikolai in amazement wanting to run his fingers through your hair. “I suppose it’s natural for her to be worried about her friends.”

“No. Y/N hates sickbeds. Loathes it with her life. She hates getting sick and sick people. She doesn’t really stay by anyone’s side when they are sick because...” said Nina quietly and softly with a protective gleam in her eyes and cut off her sentence, stopping herself from revealing anything important “This is the first time she’s stayed by a sickbed... so you must be someone very important to her.”

Nikolai looked over at you. You hated sickbeds so much and yet you had stayed firmly by his side, refusing to leave him. He wondered why you hated sickbeds and what changed your mind about staying next to him. Why were you beside him when you could leave and spare yourself the horror?

Nikolai was greeted by Zoya and Genya and the Healer who was sent for. Nikolai noted that the Healer sent a look of relief at the fact that you were sleeping as he was examined by the Healer. As the Healer finished examining him and spoke about his quick recovery if he adhered to bed rest and drinking his medicine, you stirred awake from your deep slumber as your eyes fluttered open and you groaned as you hoisted yourself up to meet his hazel eyes. Nikolai saw your eyes widen in pleasant surprise and grateful relief as they darted across his face and swore your hand tightened on his with gladness. Nikolai saw you take in your surroundings as you blushed when you saw Zoya, Genya and Nina grin and waggle their eyebrows in teasing. 

But your demeanor grew stiff when you saw the Healer who prescribed tonics and rattled out cures that frankly you didn’t believe as you questioned the Healer skeptically making Nikolai hide an amused grin and the Healer breathe out in exasperation “Out of the both of us, I believe I have studied the intricate art of human anatomy thoroughly. Therefore, I don’t think I need your suggestions.”

You glared at the Healer as you pursed your lips while Zoya, Genya and Nina quickly ushered the Healer who threw you a dirty glance out of the room while you carefully inspected one of the tonics given for a coughing fit. 

“You shouldn’t have been that hard on her. After all, she knows what she is doing.” said Nikolai quietly in amusement as he stared at you inspecting his medicine skeptically. 

“I studied medicine at the University of Ketterdam and apprenticed with one of the finest medik for a few months.” you said pleasantly as you rolled your eyes at Nikolai “I think I know far more than I let people know.”

“What? When? How?” spluttered Nikolai in bemusement and surprise at the very shocking revelation because he couldn’t imagine you dilligently studying medicine at the University of Ketterdam. 

“For a mission to retrieve information.” you replied shortly and then kept the medicine away as you looked at Nikolai who had, had better days “So... you’re not dead.”

“Sorry to disappoint. It didn’t suit me.” replied Nikolai playfully with a grin as you smiled softly “Were you crying over me, Y/N? Tears of sorrow?”

You glared at him fiercely as he laughed “Tears of joy. I hate finding new Kings to befriend.”

“Ah. Why did you stay with me here while I was sick?” queried Nikolai curiously with a small smile but his heart wanted to know the truth as to why you cared so much. “You could have entertained yourself with the delights of the palace.”

“I didn’t want you to feel alone when you woke up.” you said softly and quietly, your face gleaming in thoughtful contemplation as your eyes glinted in understanding and companionship that took Nikolai’s breath away “I know a little of how that feels like and I never want anyone to feel that way.”

“Well, I’m sick and tired so if you want... you can tell me how you know the feeling of being alone.” proposed Nikolai softly as he looked at you intensely, his breath catching in wonder and affection.

You were silent for a long moment as your eyes strayed into a land where Nikolai could not follow as your face grew deadly quiet and reminiscent as you finally spoke “My mother, brother and I came to Ketterdam when I was little. I barely remember my village. Ketterdam became my home the moment we stepped foot there. We were hungry, poor and alone in the land of the wicked.”

“My mother did odd jobs. I remember her always complaining about how she should have had no children, then there would be no mouths to feed. My brother...” you trailed softly in quiet remembrance as pain and grief seeped in your eyes as a flicker of a tiny smile appeared on your face while Nikolai listened in rapt attention “My brother... was big on dreaming. He wasn’t like my ma... he was very positive. He would always be tired after his day but he never went without teaching me every day and dropping me off at the library, encouraging me to read and talk with him. He’d have these crazy ideas on how to change the world... how we both could do it. He had a dream that he’d save up enough money one day so I could attend university and ‘become a lady’, he called it.”

Nikolai smiled at the description of your big brother that he thought he would like to meet as he replied quietly “I like him. He sounds like a lad full of hope. I’d bet we’d get along famously if we ever met.”

Your eyes flickered with grief but you smiled at the thought of these two boys meeting but your smile was brief. Nikolai watched your face harden with steel and grief as your eyes were full of tidal waves of fury and suffering as you gripped the arm rests of your chair so tightly that your knuckles grew completely white. 

Nikolai felt concerned at the sudden change as he leaned toward you because he had never seen your kind and good - humored demeanor suddenly and quickly change into one of vengeance and fury fueled with grief and broken trust. 

“You can meet him. If you plan on dying.” you retorted quietly but there was a cutting edge to your voice that took Nikolai’s breath away as the overwhelming realization of the truth of where your brother was hit him hard. 

Nikolai’s eyes widened with concern and understanding “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want your pity.” you replied harshly as you looked away from Nikolai “People die all the time. It’s what defines life. Nothing lasts forever.”

Nikolai didn’t understand how to comfort you because what could he say that would fill the hole the loss of a loving brother left in your heart? He wanted to say so many things to you. He wanted to hold you in his arms and never let you go. He wanted you to know that he understood the grief of losing a brother too. Nikolai wanted to take away all the grief and sadness that spoiled your life and grant you nothing but happiness and love all your life. 

“When the firepox plague hit Ketterdam, my brother and I got hit with it. My brother wasn’t struck down badly as I was... I was dying. My mama told us we’ll be fine, that finally she had found a medik who would treat both of us... treat me and give both of us the medicine. We believed her... we thought we’d soon get better together.” you said quietly and reminiscently as you remembered the coughing fits and burning fever that made you delirious as you held onto your brother who stroked your hair gently and told you stories and sang you gentle lullabies giving you hope. 

“The firepox made me delirious and weak... weaker than my brother. The last thing I remember about my Y/B/N is seeing my mother hand a few kruge to the medik with a lily tattoo who gave her more kruge and dragged away my struggling brother. My spinning feverish head thought he’d come back all cured.” you said with a dark gleam in your tearful eyes as you fiddled with a purple ribbon that you had tied around your finger, your heart feeling bitter and broken as you had realized the truth far too late. “I tried to call out his name but I couldn’t speak and before I could do anything... my mother laughed and knocked me unconscious.”

“When I woke up... I was on the street all alone. I was meant to die but somehow I survived.” you whispered softly as you looked at Nikolai whose expression was one of horror and shock as he stared at you wide eyed in amazement and pain as you felt incredible grief and agony within you “Alone in Ketterdam... I learnt to fend for myself. After I really realized what happened to my brother, all I did was try to find my brother.”

There was only one thought that echoed in your head after you woke up, in every moment of your waking hours and dreams after you survived and motivated you to keep going.

“I need to find Y/B/N. I need to find him. I need to make sure he’s okay. No matter how far away you are, where they have taken you, I’m coming for you and I will never stop until you are safe!”

“I did everything. I tugged on every string and listened for every whisper and waited patiently and sharpened my skills because I knew he was alive. I felt it in my heart.” you said honestly and quietly with thoughtfulness and reminiscence in your eyes that met Nikolai’s curious and shocked hazel eyes that gleamed with empathy for you as you remembered how you had met the Devil himself “I tugged on one of the strings Kaz was working on and he helped me with his contacts and finding information on slavers and indentures.”

“I finally found Y/B/N. He was alive. And I knew I wouldn’t rest until he was safe. The plan was we free those captured along with my brother. I remember I managed to free him with the help of the Crows but the slavers wouldn’t let him escape easily. One of the men tried to shoot me but my stupid brother... took the shot meant for me! He was so brave until the end... and I hate him for that.” you spat out in anger and pain as your eyes were filled with tears that trickled down your cheeks, the bottled suffering and grief suddenly uncorked and broken as you remembered how you had let out an inhumane howl as your brother caressed your cheek and asked you to smile for him one last time as he tried to tell you everything you didn’t get to tell him. 

You remembered his last moments clearly as if it was yesterday. 

“You listen to me. You’re going to be alone now. You’re going to be furious, angry and sad. Whatever happens next, wherever you go... always be kind and brave.” breathed Y/B/N harshly as you tried to stop the blood from flowing out while the rest of your friends looked upon you respectfully with sadness as you shook your head in denial and pain and your brother held your hand tightly as he could while Nina was trying her best to save him “Please... this is an order. Don’t you dare turn into a monster... don’t insult my memory. There will be no revenge. I will die... and no one will get hurt.”

Kaz had looked at you intently as you gazed upon your brother in stunned disbelief and denial, your hands warm with his blood as you cried “What about me?”

“Let’s both be brave.” he whispered softly as he pressed a soft kiss onto your hand, his eyes fluttering as the light began to fade. 

“No! No! Stay with me! Stay with me! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do this!” you screamed and shrieked as tears fell down your cheeks in big fat drops, heartbreak and disbelief written all over your face as you tried to stop Death from taking your brother. 

“Smile for me... one last time... my brave princess...” whispered your brother with a brave and reassuring smile of his own as he tried to wipe away your tears while you couldn’t understand why he wasn’t fighting to live as you managed to smile a little for him and his face grew content and happy as he drew his last breath “Don’t worry... in your dreams, I’ll still be there.”

“Please don’t leave me! Please, I won’t leave you! Stay with me!” you sobbed in piercing agony and suffering because you had never felt this type of pain in your life, the pain that tore you open and made you bleed until there was nothing left as you buried your head into your brother but suddenly there were more gun shots, Jesper trying to drag you away from your brother but you were being stubborn until you heard a rough salt stone voice apologize quietly as he dragged you screaming away from your dead brother’s corpse. 

“Y/N!” exclaimed Nikolai’s concerned voice interrupted the flashback as you came back to reality startled and alarmed. “Y/N!”

“I’m fine. I just remembered.” you answered quietly with a sad smile that made Nikolai’s heart ache with hurt and pain at the sadness that tugged at your eyes. “Do you want to know how the story ends? What I did to those who killed my brother?”

Nikolai took a sharp intake of breath as he felt his heart pound loudly in his chest as he stared in quiet shock and understanding at you, the darkness within you that had been unleashed freely in front of him as it taunted him. Your darkness and mercilessness that you had displayed with vengeance and cruelty came to light in front of him and seemed to laugh at him, challenging him to truly see you for who you were and asked him whether he could truly love a girl with blood on your hands. Nikolai looked into your eyes dark with mercilessness and vengeance and saw that whatever you did to those who had taken your brother from you, they had suffered until their last breath more than they could handle.

You challenged him to leave you. You were hoping that he would be afraid of you and run away.

Well tough luck because Nikolai was here to stay. 

“I don’t care what you did to them.” replied Nikolai with surety and certainty that surprised you. “I care about how you feel.”

“You won’t hate me if I told you I tried my best to obey my brother, to not insult his memory with bloodshed but I failed because my spite and anger got the best of me? That I couldn’t rest until I had ripped out their heart as they did mine? That before they died, I taunted them with their worst fears and demons? That when they died, their last thought was nothing but fear and shame, screaming for me to have mercy on their loved ones? That I skinned them and hung their heads in the Fifth Harbor as a warning to all slavers?” you questioned, sitting in your hurt and pain as you remembered how you had been vicious and cruel in your quest for vengeance, your spite and hatred clouding your heart as you unforgivingly snatched away the lives of those men.

There was utter and complete silence between them as you looked into Nikolai’s hazel eyes flickering with soft understanding and quiet empathy as he stared back at you as if he was seen you for the first time and finally he spoke, his voice barely a whisper as he extended his hand to you “I can only assure you that I hope they knew the meaning of pain and regretted snatching your brother’s life in their last moments.”

Your eyes widened in shock because you didn’t expect Nikolai to understand you and agree with you. You had expected him to gasp in shock and push you away in loathing and hatred. You had expected him to see the truth of your darkness and the devil you saw in the mirror and feel nothing but anger and loathing toward your twisted and crooked ways and choices. You hadn’t expected him to understand your bitter past and all the times you couldn’t be good and sweet in this world.  

You looked at Nikolai who extended his hand toward you in welcome as you reluctantly placed your shaking hand in his as his fingers wrapped around your hand reassuringly and tightly, a promise to stand by you through your darkest times glinting in his hazel eyes. 

“The worst thing you’ve ever done, the darkest thought you ever had, I’ll stand by you through it all.” whispered Nikolai sincerely and softly, with staggering honesty and affection in his hazel eyes that took your breath away. 

You couldn’t breath for a moment as you met his unwavering gaze and spoke hoarsely in disbelief “And why would you do that?”

“Because...” began Nikolai, the three words dancing on the tip of his tongue in certainty ready to spill out but he felt scared at confessing those sacred words that could change everything “Because you’re my friend and I won’t leave you.”

Nikolai saw your eyes flicker in surprise and warmth at his confession as you looked at him in quiet gratitude and wonder as you held onto his hand, a small smile appearing on your face as you were lost for words and he squeezed your hand “Did you love your brother?”

Nikolai saw your brow furrow with pain and grief as you glared fiercely at him in response and he looked at you gently “Then stop blaming yourself and hating him for what he did. He died for who he loved the most in this world and believed that your life was worth living.”

You felt a lump of emotion swell up in your throat as tears pricked your eyes and you looked away because this grief was a tidal wave that you thought you could survive but a part of you felt empty and useless as you croaked out “It just feels - it doesn’t feel fair. He had a life ahead of him. I could have... I could have saved him but I just froze.”

“This - it’s just - it feels as if a part of me died with him that night. Whatever I do, he won’t be there.” you said as a tear rolled down your cheek as you felt the grief that had persevered in the form of love for your brother “It’s been years and not a day goes by that I don’t miss him. I loved him so much!”

Nikolai understood the pain and grief of losing someone he loved deeply. He truly understood the pain and suffering that overwhelmed him at the remembrance of seeing the light fade away in the eyes of his best friend and brother, Dominik as bullets flew overheard them and explosions were the sound of his heart breaking. He felt tears prick his eyes as he remembered how Dominik had taken the bullet for him willingly with such courage and fervor, with the belief that Nikolai would be the one to make Ravka right again. 

“I know.” said Nikolai sincerely as he shifted toward you, both of his hands reaching out to cup your hand in his as he pressed a gentle kiss on your knuckles as you cried “I understand. But I have a feeling nothing was going to stop him from saving you.”

You sniffled as you felt that Nikolai wasn’t talking about just your brother, he was speaking from a deeper, tragic experience from his past that was full of grief and suffering for him after losing someone he loved as well as you buried your face in his hands, your lips gently brushing a kiss on his knuckles as you squeezed his hand comfortingly as you realized this was the second time you had let yourself truly break down. 

The first time you had broken down was with Kaz. After your brother died, you had lost sight of all meaning and purpose of life as you silently screamed and drowned in the abyss of pain and grief. You had lost appetite, the light in your eyes had extinguished, tears and regret were your constant companion as you locked yourself in your room. Your friends had tried to help you but they didn’t understand you as you pushed them away. 

But you hadn’t expected Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the heartless bastard to sit outside your room and keep you company as you cried your heart out, bring you food and sustenance that he forcefully fed you, sit in quiet silence with you, stand in the rain waiting for you as you sat by your brother’s grave on the day of his funeral not moving for a long time as you tried to comprehend reality and quietly confide little pieces of his past about Jordie as he made your grief, anger, vengeance and pain understood and seen. His gestures had been quiet but it had meant the world to you. Perhaps that was when you had started to fall for Kaz Brekker without even knowing. 

You took a deep breath as you wiped away your tears with the sleeve of your black shirt. You suddenly realized that it wasn’t your shirt. It was Kaz’ shirt, one of the many you had stolen from him and he had let you borrow it with that little smile of his as he reassured you that you looked better in it with that sly twinkle in his dark eyes. You had always felt safe and cozy in his shirt as you felt a sudden sense of quiet pain and soft affection bloom in your heart for the Bastard of the Barrel who had found a way to be with you through all these miles. It smelled like him, cuttingly comforting and honest as the fragrance of sharp mint and clean soap seeped into your senses making you feel dizzy. 

“Y/N?” asked Nikolai with furrowed eyebrows as he looked at you who looked lost in your thoughts “Kruge for your thoughts? Does my presence bore you so much that you are lost in thoughts of a certain enigmatic Bastard of the Barrel who broke your heart?”

“What? No!” you exclaimed shaking your head in denial and surprise at how well Nikolai could read you as a faint color seeped into your cheeks. “I wasn’t thinking of him!”

Nikolai’s heart cracked in hurt and pain as he coughed but shook his head slightly as he smiled sadly “You have an expression when you think of him. It’s wistful and sad with a touch of fond happiness. Your eyes... they do this thing when you think of him where you are smiling and happy but your eyes are big and sad. It’s like you’re feeling two emotions at once.”

You were surprised at how sharply Nikolai had observed you and understood you as you were silent for a few moments and you finally found your tongue “I - I - I just got lost in my thoughts. That’s all.”

“Do you miss him?” asked Nikolai, feeling a sharp pain in his heart as he thought of your head full of thoughts only of Kaz Brekker.

There was a long moment of silence as you looked at Nikolai so intensely with quiet contemplation as you tugged on the sleeve of your shirt and whispered “Sometimes.”

Nikolai felt a spark of hope light up in his heart as he felt your gaze burn him intensely and passionately as he realized that you were beginning to perhaps take tiny steps to move away from Kaz without you knowing it. He felt breathless as he felt your quiet burning gaze on him, making him feel warm and tethered, dizzy and happy. There was something in the way you looked at him now that had changed. Your eyes smiled softly and fondly with sparks of affection when you looked at him and Nikolai felt his head spin not entirely from the fever at the thought of you loving him back. 

Nikolai was tongue tied and speechless as he looked away trying to squash the traitorous hope in him that had blossomed since the last night they had spent together at the ball and now was lit afire at the way you were looking at him, looking so beautiful as you sat by his bedside when you could have been doing anything in the world. 

“Are you thinking or have you finally found a way to be silent as a grave?” you remarked sassily as you looked fondly with a teasing smile observing Nikolai who had fallen into a thoughtful and confused contemplation. 

Nikolai smiled softly “No... just thinking.”

“Don’t think too much, it might hurt that pretty head of yours.” you snarked with a fond and teasing smile as you observed Nikolai who looked exhausted and sick as his eyes fluttered shut for a moment “What are you thinking about?”

“It’s nothing.” said Nikolai tiredly as he lay back on the pillows, his head aching profusely and stubbornly as he closed his eyes and you didn’t press and prod further. 

You reached for the medicine that lay on the cabinet as you realized that Nikolai needed to drink his medicine and took them into your hands when Nikolai opened his eyes “What are you doing, my love?”

You ignored the fluttering in your stomach at the little endearment Nikolai used to address you as you poured the medicine in the indicated dosages “You need to drink your medicine, Nikolai to get - SAINTS, NIKOLAI, DON’T TRY TO RUN!”

Nikolai’s eyes widened with horror at those words as he tried to get up, his body aching with pain as he tried to run away but he got tangled up in the dozens of pillows and blankets as he cursed ignoring your shouting, and when he finally managed to stand up, he felt you hold him from behind preventing him from leaving the bed. 

Nikolai struggled and screamed, kicking his legs like a little child while you snapped “Come on, be a good boy and take your medicine to get well - OUCH, YOU WRETECHED TERROR, DID YOU FUCKING BITE ME?”

Nikolai grinned widely as he tried to slip away from your grasp feeling slightly bad for you but he was not going to take his medicine as he heard you admonish him “Nikolai, I swear, I’m sick of you!  Come here now before I make you!”

“OH YEAH? TRY ME!” challenged Nikolai as he managed to stand up and wobble with the bloody blankets wrapped around him. 

You were not going to tolerate Nikolai biting you and challenging your authority as the responsible caregiver in this situation as you took off your earrings “Oh no, oh hell no! You see, I’ve been treating you with respect like a King but I forgot what you really are... a whining brat waiting to be punished!”

Nikolai was stunned for a moment as he felt his soul leave his body at your words and the furious and commanding glint in your dark eyes as you cornered him and leapt upon him making him scream, your legs wrapping around his waist tightly as you pushed him back onto the bed with no hesitation and mercy as he fell back to the bed, tangled up with the blankets and you on top of him.

You were on top of him, your legs wrapped around him as you held him down by the shoulders, your face just inches away from his. Nikolai was going to die. This was how Nikolai died. Not bravely in battle. Not saving anyone’s life. Not peacefully in a deathbed. No, Nikolai knew he was going to die because you were now holding him down with a wicked grin that was going to be the death of him because he was having multiple heart attacks at the fact the girl of his dreams who he loved with all his heart was on top of him with a deliciously wicked smirk, your eyes glinting in amusement.

“I told you not to test me, you wretched brat!” you exclaimed in exasperation as you slapped Nikolai twice on the cheek making him groan in submissive enjoyment and slight pain. 

Nikolai was sick but he had to admit this was a pleasant outcome of having fever and cold as he smirked “Saints, I’m loving the view. Care to slap me again?”

“I am not going to give you the satisfaction.” you replied, your cheeks coloring a rosy pink much to Nikolai’s delight as you took the medicine and he wriggled underneath you trying to escape but you had a hold on him “Nikolai, don’t make this harder than it already is! If you don’t drink the medicine -”

“What are you going to do? Spank me?” challenged Nikolai with a teasing twinkle in his eyes as he grinned at your flustered blushing expression but his thoughts were now in a place of pleasure and delight with you and him, nothing but kisses on your skin and hearing you scream out his name. 

You spluttered but schooled your expression into a stern and honest one as you replied coolly “No. If you don’t take the medicine and behave yourself... I’m going to leave Ravka tonight and never come back again.”

Nikolai froze underneath you in shock because he didn’t believe you, only thinking that this was just a trick to get him to drink his medicine “You’re lying.”

You slipped away from Nikolai easily and he winced at the loss of contact with you as he itched to reach out and wrap his arms around you to keep you close to him and you replied completely seriously “Make smart choices if you don’t want to find out the truth.”

Nikolai flinched as he looked at you because he didn’t want to believe that you’d leave him in this state. He didn’t want to believe that you would leave him and never come back for him. But the truth was, why would you stay? There was nothing tying you down to Ravka and he was just a friend to you, a companion who you were friendly with during your holiday. Ketterdam was where your heart was. 

Nikolai suddenly felt that he didn’t want to find out the truth and thought the bitter medicine was a better option than have you leave his side as he snatched the medicine from your hands “You win, you impossible girl.”

Nikolai saw a small smile appear on your face and he felt warmth bloom in his chest at making you smile and thought he’d always let you win to see you smile as you gave him his medicine “See, that’s better. Here drink these. You’ll feel better.”

Nikolai pouted as he took the first dose of medicine and promptly started coughing at how bitter it was as he felt you pat his back sympathetically and he exclaimed “THIS TASTES LIKE ROTTEN EGGS AND DEATH!”

“Is there such a taste?” you queried curiously as you hid your amused laughter and you were shot a glare by Nikolai “You have to drink the other two as well, Nikolai.”

“I rather die.” said Nikolai dramatically as he crossed his arms with the privileged air of a spoiled king. 

“If you drink the medicine, I’ll kiss you when you’re better.” you said casually as Nikolai started coughing in shock at your words. 

“Don’t tease me.” retorted Nikolai looking at you in disbelief and surprise, as his jaw dropped in amazement because he couldn’t handle the thought of you kissing him properly. 

“I’m not! I swear on my honor!”

“You don’t have much of that. You’re from Ketterdam.”

“Alright, fine. I’ll leave, you stubborn ass!” you exclaimed as you put your hands up in the air in surrender, pretending to walk out and leave when Nikolai immediately surrendered to you.

“No, no! I’ll be good! Please don’t leave me!” exclaimed Nikolai immediately not wanting you to leave him alone as he quickly drank the medicine you had given him. 

You were surprised at his earnestness and sincerity in wanting you to stay as he finished drinking the medicine with a disgusted expression and groaned “The things I do for you, my dearest Y/N.”

Nikolai felt drowsy as the medicine sank in and his eyes fluttered with exhaustion and he sank into the cozy pillows as he suddenly felt the exhaustion catch up with him. He felt sticky, dirty and sweaty, the fever making him feel absolutely unclean. He wanted a bath but it was just so hard to move. As if you had read his mind, Nikolai can hear you ordering for a warm bath for him. Nikolai wants to call out your name, reassure that he doesn’t need you to do everything for him but the fatigue overwhelms him as he tries to stay awake. 

And besides, Nikolai feels that it would be nice... just for once to have someone take care of him. Even though that thought deeply offends him because he hates feeling so weak, so dependent on someone. 

“Nikolai.” he hears his name called out gently and sweetly by you as he jolts awake from the place of sleep he had almost fallen to. 

He sees you gently looking at him in concern “Nikolai, the bath is ready.”

Nikolai stands up on his own. He is sick but he isn’t weak. He can do this on his own without help as he takes a few steps, his vision slightly blurring and he realizes that it’s taking more energy than usual to walk. His legs tremble but he is determined that he won’t fall. He is grateful that you are not fussing and coddling over him. He doesn’t need help.

He almost makes it to the bath when his trembling knees and buckle and give away. You catch him before he falls down and Nikolai hates the feeling of being so helpless and wants to just push you away and reassure you that he can do this on his own. 

“I can do this -” began Nikolai in wavering determination as he looked at you in exhaustion but you interrupt softly.

“I know you can.”

But you don’t let go of Nikolai as you guide him to the bath gently and steadily, your hands holding him gently enough to reassure him that you were there for him but also showing him that he could break away from you any moment he liked. Nikolai sees the golden gilded bathtub with steaming warm water and feels you let go of him as you help him sit down on a stool and then turns around. Nikolai thinks you will leave and as much as he wants it, he feels weak. 

But you stay, your back turned toward him as you remain silent while Nikolai takes off his sweat soaked clothes. He wants to ask why you are staying with him but a part of him is just too exhausted and grateful that you are present with him. Nikolai looks over at you in curiosity mingled with teasing amusement and quiet thoughtfulness as he wonders what your reaction would be to his naked body. Women around him swooned and never hid their desires when he was fully clothed. He wanted to know what the one he desired was feeling at this very moment. Did you desire him too? But you didn’t seem moved at all by the fact that Nikolai, the King of Ravka was undressing behind you. Nikolai was not shy about his body and for some strange reason, he felt safe with you and trusted you not to be lewd in this situation. 

Nikolai dips himself into the bathtub, the warm water kissing his aching muscles and calming his mind. He reaches for the sponge only to drop it along with a few bath salts. He groans wanting to stand up and reach for the sponge but he just couldn’t bring himself to move. 

You hear the clattering and turn around to see Nikolai weakly looking at the fallen sponge and the bath salts. Your eyes meet his vulnerable hazel eyes and you suddenly feel heat creep up your neck at this unusual situation. You knew Nikolai could handle himself but he just looked so small and vulnerable, weak and exhausted by the sickness. You avert your eyes from his well chiseled and handsome body as you dispose of his filthy clothes and pick up the bath salts arranging them in order and pick up the sponge under Nikolai’s curious gaze. 

Nikolai feels his heart beating loudly as he feels small and vulnerable, naked with the woman who he is head over heels in love with as he sees you avert your eyes respectfully. He expects something, a reaction but you just busy yourself with arranging bath salts. 

Well, this was the first in all his encounters in his wild youth. He had certainly never had a woman avert her eyes away from his body in such a compromising situation and you surprised him with your innocent reaction. 

Nikolai sees you look at his face, your eyes never shifting downwards and feels something odd and quiet bloom in his chest as he slips down into the tub relishing the warmth of the water and comes up. He looks away from you expecting you to hand the sponge and leave with some sarcastic remark or flirtatious remark but you stop by the bath instead. Nikolai can feel your gentle presence waiting for him and lifts his eyes to meet your quiet eyes that holds the sponge that is easily within his reach. 

But your eyes speak what silently echoes among both of you as you seek permission from Nikolai. 

“Can I take care of you?”

Nikolai wants to take the sponge and do this himself to prove that he isn’t helpless. But there’s something gentle and tender in your eyes that stops him. And Nikolai is really exhausted. He wasn’t just exhausted by the sickness, he was exhausted with running Ravka, dealing with ignorant ministers who were blind to the needs of people, exhausted of compromising and smiling, exhausted of being different versions of himself that the people needed and wanted him to be. It would be nice to have someone take care of him for once in his life. 

Especially if that someone was you. 

Nikolai meets your eyes and gives the tiniest of nods daring you to have the bravery to stay and you nod at him as you sit next to the bathtub. 

You slow your pace of breathing and steady yourself as you dip the sponge in water before lathering some soap in it and waits for Nikolai to initiate contact. Nikolai raises his arm out of the water and you take it gently and tentatively, bringing it closer to you as you slowly and gently begin to wipe the sponge under the space between his fingers, the top of his knuckles, the skin of his hand and palm. You notice that Nikolai isn’t moving or wincing at your contact and you continue to do so gently. 

Meanwhile Nikolai was having a heart attack. He was certain he was having a heart attack because his heart had never raced this fast before. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move, his feelings of shock, surprise, amazement and wonder were clouding his screaming mind as he stared at your thoughtful concentrated face in breathless awe wondering for a moment whether he was having a fever dream. He couldn’t believe that the woman who he was in love with was gently and tenderly taking care of him in his most vulnerable moments as you cleaned him in the bath. Nikolai stared at you work skillfully and gently as you wiped away dirt and sweat with the soapy water as you began to clean the other side of his hand. Nikolai’s senses are assaulted with the gentle fragrance of lavender as you rinse and lather more soap. The scent is gentle and sweet, and calms his mind. He breathes it in greedily and wonders whether you did this with anyone of your past lovers. 

Suddenly he felt small and insignificant and didn’t want to think of you doing this with anyone else as he looked at you gently holding his wrist, your fingers resting on his pulse as the words burst out of his mouth “Do you do this for all of the boys you take care of?”

“No. I’ve never taken care of anyone like this before.” you replied softly and tenderly as you rinsed his arm. 

Nikolai’s jaw drops in shock and amazement because the realization that this was the first time you had done this for anyone hits him like a load of bricks. Suddenly all of this carries more weight of meaning and sweetness as he realizes that it has been a long time since anyone had cared enough to take care of him. 

You finish his left arm and move to begin on his right arm. You begin the same ritual over again and Nikolai realizes how soft and delicate your fingers were on his skin. Nikolai observes you lather and rinse his palm gently and feels breathless. He doesn’t understand why you are doing this. You were thoughtful and kind but also sarcastic and guarded so Nikolai was having a hard time comprehending why you were being so gentle and loving with him. 

Perhaps it was pity. You were full of pity for a boy king who was sick and couldn’t barely soap himself and take care of himself. He felt hurt and gutted at the thought of you offering to take care of him out of pity and sympathy. It felt cruel and painful. 

Nikolai looked at you, your lashes fanning your eyes that were full of concentration and gentleness as something darkly insecure lashed out within him as the words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself “Why are you doing this?”

You didn’t stop the gentle strokes of the sponge but your gentle eyes met his hazel ones as he was staggered by how wonderfully kind they were as you replied lowly “Because I want to do this for you. I want to take care of you and let you have peace.”

Nikolai felt a lump form in his throat as he blinked back his tears that had sprung into his eyes all of a sudden. It had been so long since anyone had truly wanted to take care of him and had made an effort to take care of him. The expression of sincerity and honesty etched onto your face surprised him as he stayed quiet for a few moments as he tried to think of the last time someone had told him that they wanted to make him feel good. 

“I can do this by myself. You don’t have to - I’m not weak.” said Nikolai defensively, still disbelieving of the fact that you cared about him “You don’t need to take care of me. Everyone knows its a bother to do that.”

“It’s not rotten work taking care of you. I know you are strong and carry everyone but I can see it in your eyes. You take care of a thankless nation but who will ever look after and take care of you, Nikolai? I don’t know why but I like being the one to see you smile and take care of you.” you confessed softly and sincerely as you gazed at Nikolai intensely with gentleness etched on your face as you finished washing his arm and lowered it to the rim of the tub so he could hold onto it. “It’s okay to let someone take care of you.”

Nikolai was trying to play it cool but he was turning all shades of pink as his heart beat in happiness and disbelief as he looked at you quietly and whispered after a long moment “Y/N... I don’t want to be a burden to you. I don’t want people to worry about me. I - I need to do everything by myself so that I won’t be a nuisance.”

Your gentle touch made him shiver in delight and comfort as you looked at him, your gaze never drifting away from his eyes as he felt vulnerable and exposed as you tilted your head with curiosity “Why do you think you are a burden?”

“Aren’t I? Look at me, I can’t even do this one simple task by myself.” snapped Nikolai in frustration as he lowered his head in shame not wanting you to see the tears in his eyes “I feel so weak, I have to rely on you. I don’t want to depend on anyone because I - who am I if I can’t do anything by myself?”

“Human.” you answered sincerely and softly 

Nikolai let a huff of sardonic laughter as he shook his head “I am the King who is meant to unite Ravka and protect them. There is no room to be weak and human.”

“Your desire to help others is noble. But I doubt you will find much success unless you allow others to help you.” you said honestly and sincerely as you looked at Nikolai earnestly with quiet understanding and soft concern that made him breathless as he felt the warm water lap at him skin, your gentle fingers lightly touch his skin.

Nikolai dragged his gaze up at you and it struck him that this felt intimate, domestic and blissful. Nikolai feels open, exposed and vulnerable in a manner that he has never felt before with anyone and yet in this vulnerability, he feels a forged deep trust, intimate understanding and soft tenderness between the both of you that felt new and beautiful, inviting him to sink in and drown in it. This moment with you where you gently took care of him at his weakest felt like the beginning of building a home for the both of them out of the ruins of their broken hearts. 

“I understand that you are the King of Ravka and that comes with a great burden. But you are also a boy... Nikolai who likes to steal macaroons from the kitchen, who has the craziest, most wonderful ideas for inventions and will break the very ground you stand on to make people happy. As much as you hate it, you need to understand that your life... you require support, encouragement and love. People who care about your well being. People who will be there to stitch up your wounds and take care of you when you fall.” you stated calmly and sincerely, your eyes sparkling with honesty and wisdom beyond your years that stunned Nikolai who was speechless with surprise at the wise truth of your words as he contemplated on them quietly. 

Nikolai was silent as he looked at you unashamed as he drifted his gaze away from you, feeling warmth and vulnerability bloom in his chest as he realized that you were offering support and encouragement for him. Nikolai realized that you were not scared to be there for him, to look after him, stitch up his wounds and take care of him when he fell. The thought of you doing that made his chest swell in happiness and disbelief, wonder and warmth as his lips twitched into a small smile. 

Nikolai’s head and heart is floating with bliss at you taking care of him so tenderly. Nikolai takes this as an opportunity to really look at you. You are completely quiet in a companionable and comforting manner, the strokes of the sponge never lingering too long on one spot as you focus on the task at hand, never meeting Nikolai’s gaze.  You wear an expression of complete concentration and calmness that Nikolai does not feel. Nikolai had seen you laughing, smiling, crying and angry but he had never seen you this... calm. Your face is relaxed and soft, your eyes brimming with staggering tenderness and gentleness. Your hair falls messily over your shoulder, your eyelashes fanning over your eyes as your hands are lathered in water and soapy bubbles. 

Nikolai had seen you relaxed but never in such an intimately quiet way and never this up close and for this long. He knows you can feel his gaze burning you and fears that you will make a teasing remark that will make him blush from his cheeks to the tip of his toes but you are absolutely respectful, letting him contemplate on his thoughts silently. Your presence is genuinely soothing and comforting as he breathes in easily and stares at you unashamedly knowing that you won’t meet his gaze. 

Saints, in the candlelight, so close to you, Nikolai couldn’t breathe because you were so attractive. Attractive wasn’t the right word for you. You were indescribably divinely beautiful. Nikolai wasn’t a fool, in the short time you had been here, many men and women had found you attractive and flirted with you. Though Nikolai had been boiling with jealousy each time he saw someone flirt with you, he understood why they would be drawn to your easy smile, expressive eyes, the shape of your lips that he wanted to kiss. You had shown no interest in anyone and now heat rose in Nikolai’s neck at the realization that the girl who had shown no interest or response for flirtations was the one who was quietly and comfortingly taking care of him. 

Nikolai feels you move to clean his bicep and tip of his shoulder. He feels the sponge gently move toward the spot where he first got shot as he realizes that there were scars littered over him that weren’t exactly flattering on him. Nikolai feels his muscles tensing as he breathes uneasily remembering the sound of gunshots and shrieking screams, the blood and mud of the battlefield where he had lost so many of his comrades including Dominik. 

Somethings he couldn’t just speak about. 

You withdraw immediately when you feel Nikolai tense as you notice his expression of anxiety and Nikolai remains silent for a long moment. You don’t touch him unless he gives you permission once again and you can see something is bothering him. 

“Nik?” you whispered softly, in worry and anxiety as you looked at him. 

Nikolai looked at you who wasn’t his to lose as he saw concern glinting in your eyes as he finally murmured “My first bullet wound.” 

He traced the small scars on his bicep that the war had left on him as he averted his eyes away from you “Not very pretty, huh?”

“I like them. In fact, they might be the thing I like most about you.” you admitted softly and tenderly as you looked at him in quiet understanding. 

Nikolai raised his eyes to meet yours as he wore an expression of curiosity and inquisitiveness and you stated firmly and gently “Those scars, wounds show me that you are very loyal, kind and deeply brave... not at all cowardly. I like them because they are proof that you stood up for what’s right, fought the cruelty of the world and survived to tell the tale.”

Saints, Nikolai wanted to marry you. Nikolai had never felt this enormity of feeling, never felt such overwhelming tidal waves of emotions that engulfed him now as he felt breathless and speechless your sincerity and kindness. He searched for laughter or teasing in your expression but there was nothing except genuine honesty and truth as you looked at him with something that hadn’t been there in your eyes. Nikolai can’t help but warm up to the thought that now you were becoming a fixed and steady presence in his stormy life.

You were looking at him with utter softness and tenderness that you had never displayed with him before “Does it hurt?”

“Sometimes.” whispered Nikolai as he breathed in deeply and placed his faith and trust in you as he gave you permission “Be gentle.”

Nikolai feels overwhelming intimacy as you start wiping carefully over his shoulders, gently over his wound and scars, the collarbones and base of his neck, and the muscles of his spine. Your brushes are quick and efficient yet gentle and tender as you cleaned him. Your sponge brushes over his wound softly and tenderly with reverence and he swore his heart stopped beating. Nikolai couldn’t breathe as he felt you clean the spot where his wound was softly and gently. Nikolai closes his eyes and settles into drifting into his thoughts of a universe where this was a reality. Nikolai knows you don’t like him romantically. But he felt himself drift into dreams of where you and him were more than friends, where this domestic bliss was present every day and all he had was you. 

He wakes up to his name murmured and looks up to see you standing extending the sponge with soap as you say quietly “I’ll turn away.”

He takes the sponge with soap numbly wondering what you meant and as you turned away, his brain caught up to what you meant. Nikolai sees you completely silent as you face the wall and he finishes cleaning his face, his chest, and between his legs. 

After Nikolai is done cleaning himself, he calls your name huskily “Y/N...”

You turn around to face him and take the sponge and soap from him. Nikolai leans back on the tub and then closes his eyes as he dips into the warm water. Nikolai feels weightless, as if time does not have an effect in this place as he feels relieved and vulnerable at the same time. Finally, Nikolai sits upright, coming up to the surface but his eyes are still closed. He doesn’t want to open them yet. 

Nikolai hears you shuffle around for a few moments and drop something as you mutter an apology as you said dorkily “Sorry, sorry, dropped it.”

Nikolai doesn’t open his eyes but he can’t help smiling widely at your silliness and comfortable presence. Nikolai imagines you flailing and shuffling around, arranging the soaps and salts in an orderly manner and pink dust of embarrassment clouding your cheeks when you dropped whatever you dropped. Nikolai realizes that this is the happiest and comfortable he has felt in a long time. 

Nikolai feels goosebumps rise in his skin when he feels your fingers in his hair, the scent of apples of his hair soap drifting into his nose. Nikolai feels your fingertips firmly but gently running through his hair, your touch never lingering for too long as you lather the soap on his scalp. Nikolai lets out an involuntary moan of pleasure as your fingers thread through his hair skillfully and pulling at the knots tugging at them until they come lose. 

Nikolai feels himself turning all shades of red as heat creeps up his neck at the realization that he had moaned and melted at your touch of hands in his hair... but to justify it, you had very skillful hands. Nikolai doesn’t know what to say, all he feels is absolutely embarrassed as he tries to find an excuse but you ignore it as you assure him gently there is nothing to be embarrassed about as you ease some of the aching pressure and tense muscles in his face. 

Nikolai wonders what it would feel to have your hands in his hair as he kissed the little scar on your collarbone. Nikolai takes a sharp intake of breath as he realizes he is drifting into his wild fantasies of you but it’s hard not to when your gentle hands are skillfully tugging at his hair and running through them. Nikolai melts into your gentle and sweet touch, enjoying every moment of it. 

You let go of Nikolai for a moment as you fetch another bucket of warm water. Nikolai feels you gently tilting his head back as you scoop a cup of fresh warm water and pours it slowly over his head, rinsing the soap gently and slowly, your fingers threading softly and skillfully through his hair with each cup of water you poured over him. Nikolai feels your soft and gentle touch on his forehead, his hair, his ears, his neck and his face and if you notice him sigh and melt into your touch, leaning his head against your hand, you don’t say anything to him about it. 

Nikolai feels you cradle his head gently as you finally use the towel to dry his hair slowly and gently, getting the excess water out of his hair. Nikolai feels warm and happy, burdens and worries lifted off his shoulders as he feels light - hearted. Nikolai feels you finish drying his hair and return your attention to rubbing sweet and musky hair oil into his hair, smoothing it into his scalp. As you smooth the oil into his hair, Nikolai falls asleep, the water once warm now cool lapping at his skin. 

As sleep tugged Nikolai, Nikolai didn’t feel alone anymore. 

Nikolai heard you murmur his name as he drifted out of his sleep and realized you had finished as he heard you murmur “There you go.”

Nikolai’s heart hammered in his ribcage and threatened to burst out of his body when he felt you place a light kiss on top of his head. It was brief and quick but Nikolai was certain he had felt the gentle pressure of your lips on his damp hair as he froze in surprise and happiness.  

It feels too intimate, too raw, too good to be real. And yet, Nikolai was living this very real moment with you and he felt blessed. 

Nikolai turned to look at you as you handed him a fresh towel and a bathrobe and turned around. He looks at the towel feeling saddened that this intimate, blissful moment had ended. It had been nice to be taken care of for once. It had felt nice to be the one to sit back and enjoy being taken care of. He wanted to cherish this moment forever as he closed his eyes savoring this memory and then opened his eyes. It was time to leave. 

Nikolai lifted himself up, stepping out as he quickly scrubs himself dry and wrapped the bathrobe around himself. Nikolai takes a few steps and finds exhaustion taking over him as he nearly falls onto the floor again but once again, your arms catch him as he clings onto you. 

“I can do this on my own.” said Nikolai lazily and firmly as he looked at you with a commanding glint “I am the King, I order you to let go -”

“To hell with your orders.” you replied firmly as you held him tightly making him laugh in surprise and amusement at your defiance as he leans toward your warmth. Even though he feels vulnerable and small, he likes being held like this by you and feels safe and comfortable with you as he breathes in your inviting perfume that makes him feel that everything is perfect in the world. 

Nikolai sees his bed and immediately feels tired and content as he falls down onto his lovely bed dramatically with gladness. 

You try to hide your smile through an exasperated expression but you can’t help the smile that play on your lips as you reprimand Nikolai sternly “You can’t sleep in a wet towel.”

Nikolai drawls lazily, his eyes closed in satisfaction and sleepiness “I can do whatever I want. I am the King of Ravka.”

You roll your eyes fondly at him but go to retrieve his clothes while Nikolai drifts into a hazy sleep when he feels you tugging him from the bed you announce loudly and cheerfully “Up you get, Nikolai!”

Nikolai loves you. He really does. But he is tired and all he wants to do is sleep and you’re not letting him do that as he replied annoyed “What for?”

“To get dressed. You will catch a worse cold if you sleep in a wet towel.” you replied in a matter - of - fact voice as you tried to tug him out of bed but the King of Ravka was a stubborn child who clung onto the bedsheets as he complained. 

“No... no... let me sleep.”

“Come on, we don’t have time for this. Out of bed and into warm clothes.” you said in a matter - of - fact voice as you grinned while pulling a sulky, childish, petulant Nikolai who was protesting and Nikolai groaned when he felt you smack him on the floor. 

Nikolai feels the coolness of the carpeted floor and is tempted to lie down there just to spite you because how dare you defy the King of Ravka like this? But a part of him enjoyed it, your defiance and careless attitude intrigued and amused him though at the moment it had him slightly annoyed and irritated. 

You lifted him up from the floor as you both groaned as you exclaimed “Here, get dressed.”

Nikolai’s lips twitched into a playful smile as his eyes twinkled in teasing “That’s so close to the perfect sentence.”

You blushed as you tossed him his night clothes and he grinned at being the reason for the pink dust scattering across your cheeks as you turned around shyly. Nikolai gets dressed, his thoughts slow and unfocused, muffled and distant as he realizes that you had handed him a loose, comfortable blue nightshirt, one of his favorites. Nikolai fiddles with the buttons, his hands shaking weakly and as if you sense it, you turn around, your eyes seeking for permission. Nikolai nods he watched in enchantment at how your fingers work the buttons and undemandingly and gently tucks his collar and smooths the fabric, her fingertips lightly brushing over his skin. 

This is a glimpse into the life Nikolai wanted to share with you. This feeling of being this close, tender and real with you that he wanted to last forever. This moment felt soft and sweet, untouched by the cruelty and sadness of the world where it was just the two of them and nothing else mattered. Nikolai’s eyes glint with tenderness and longing for you as he sees his future mapped out with you, where he comes home to you and feels that tonight has created a stronger bond between them that they couldn’t describe. 

How could he ever fall in love with anyone else?

Your soft eyes meet his tender hazel eyes and you blush as your fingertips drop from his shirt. Nikolai wonders whether you feel this indescribable and sacred bond he feels with you too. Nikolai drops and sinks into the mattress with a happy sigh, the luxurious sheets and pillows fresh and new. Nikolai feels peaceful and calm for the first time in a long time and realizes that he tastes soothing peace of mind whenever he is with you. Nikolai’s eyes flutter as he feels you drape blankets over him making him feel safe and secure. 

Nikolai opens his eyes as he feels you set a tray of hot and warm food before him. As he eats it, he sets his eyes to observe you and for the first time in the evening he sees that your clothes are drenched wet. Rivulets of water run down your arms and the wet fabric clings onto your body that Nikolai is shamelessly appreciating while sinking in and out of consciousness. Nikolai feels at peace as he watches you pick up the used towels and his clothes. Nikolai feels a strange sense of calm wash him as he watches you tidy the mess of his room quietly and calmly, the wet fabric clinging onto your skin, your eyes alit with firm purpose and conviction and your movements precise and careful not to awake and startle Nikolai. After finishing eating, Nikolai inquires about you eating. You smile and reassure Nikolai that you’ll eat after clearing up the mess.. 

Nikolai briefly wonders whether you are going to bath as well as you duck out of the room as he sinks into the drowsy unconsciousness. He breathes in as he drifts in and out of sleep and finally after what seems like a long amount of time, he hears a click of the door and flutters open his eyes to see you quietly come in, your hair damp and your skin fresh and smooth, dressed in a beautiful green nightdress. 

Nikolai watches you arrange blankets and pillows on his sofa as he blinks drowsily, his eyes lidded heavily with sleep as he drawls “What on earth are you doing?”

You are startled and surprised at the sound of Nikolai’s drowsy voice because you thought he was sleeping as you met his curious gaze and stood up “Well... there isn’t really any space on the bed and I’ve heard you are a notorious snorer -”

But you are cut off as Nikolai drags you down to his bed as you land on the sheets in an ungraceful heap squawking inelegantly and Nikolai smiles fondly at you making room for you “You’re sleeping here. With me.”

Nikolai can feel your weight settling down onto the mattress as you pull up the covers over the both of you. Nikolai feels warm, clean, happy and content, taken care of as he sinks into the mattress blissfully. 

Nikolai felt breathless as he glanced over at you lying by his side, your beautiful hair a disheveled mess on his pillow, your eyes gleaming with quiet drowsiness as you met his gaze and he turned a bright shade of pink hoping that you couldn’t hear how loud his heart was beating because this was a dream come true. He had to control himself from shrieking happily when your hand brushed against his softly and tentatively and it took all of his courage as he met your eyes seeking permission and when you smiled softly, his fingers intertwined with yours, the warmth and gentleness of your hand seeping into his reassuring him that everything would be alright. 

“This is nice.” murmured Nikolai in content and dreamy haze as he looked into your eyes with tenderness and sincerity as he felt breathless by how beautiful and wonderful you were. 

You smiled softly and widely at him as you shifted to his side a little squeezing his hand gently as he looked at you with an expression of gratitude, adoration and wonder as he brushed a gentle and fleeting kiss on your knuckles, delighted when your eyes widened in surprise and your cheeks blushed a rosy pink as he confessed “No one has ever taken care of me like this. Thank you.”

“Always.” you murmured as you smiled affectionately and sincerely at Nikolai who didn’t need to say anything, as they held hands in the meaningful silence, you both felt enough. 

As sleep overtook Nikolai, he drawled looking over at you “Will you still be here when I wake up?”

“No one can take me away from you.” you whispered softly and gently as you stroked his hair gently as he leaned into your hand with a happy and comfortable sigh, his eyes closing as he held your hand in his.  

As Nikolai fell into a deep slumber, you watched him breathe in and out peacefully. You stare at his divinely beautiful face etched with peace and content that was a luxury to him when he was the King of Ravka. In this low light of flickering candles, he looks more like a boy who wants to be loved than a King who is to be revered. You listen to his deep breathing as you stare at him with a soft smile playing on your lips, your soul feeling strangely content and happy as you traced soft patterns on the skin of his hand that held yours tightly. Nikolai looks boyish and soft, vulnerable and peaceful in this light and you feel your heart tighten in wonder that you are the one who gets to see him like this. 

Earlier, you knew that Nikolai had been watching you keenly. He might be the King of Ravka but he wasn’t the King of being subtle. You had averted your eyes away from him, not wanting to disrespect him and take advantage of his vulnerability as you focused on the task of helping him. You weren’t lying earlier when you told Nikolai that this was the first time you’ve ever cleaned someone like this. When you were with Kaz, you had simply left him, giving him privacy to clean himself. You were going to do the same with Nikolai but for some reason, you found yourself rooted in the spot and reaching out to take care of Nikolai because you couldn’t let him shoulder everything alone. It didn’t seem right to just leave him alone. Your heart had been beating wildly as you had averted your eyes from his well - built and handsome body that had made heat creep up your neck as you focused on your task of cleaning his soft skin that made you feel slightly breathless. 

You had felt his surprise at the fact that you had volunteered to take care of him. You couldn’t help thinking now... did he have no one to take care of him? Was there no one to care for him?

Had he truly been so alone?

Now you take the opportunity to properly look at Nikolai. His hair is damp and curly, his skin is fresh and clean.. Nikolai was your friend, in a steady and confusing manner. You convince yourself that tonight was purely platonic. You did this to help him, to take care of him because he is your friend and you hate seeing him suffer and alone. And yet, your heart beats and your breath catches as you look at Nikolai and remember how he stared at your reverently in adoration and amazement as you tended to him. 

At that moment, Nikolai sighs in his sleep as he mutters something indecipherable and yet amusing to you as you stare at him fondly and smooth his hair gently. You are aware that this is such an intimate and sacred moment where you are witness to every sigh, every word, every movement, every expression he makes. Tonight had bloomed something different in the way you looked at him, a tenderness, a gentleness and a wonder as you realized that Nikolai was a storm that you were now trying to navigate as you inhaled a sharp breath understanding that he had let his guard down and exposed his vulnerability to you and you had done the same. 

You found yourself torn between throwing yourself out of the window and squealing into your pillow as you blushed. 

You were lying next to Nikolai Lantsov. This was not on your bingo card. In fact, this was not on anyone’s bingo card!

You couldn’t exactly understand why you felt so protective of Nikolai and cherished the time you spent with him. You didn’t understand why the thought of Nikolai’s future wife sleeping next to him, seeing him up close and personal like this, sharing tender and intimate moments with him in secrecy and privacy of their own world made you want to burn down something. You didn’t understand why you wanted to wrap Nikolai in a hug and assure him that he wasn’t a burden, he was a privilege. 

Maybe it was because you were friends. Yes... that’s exactly it. You were just friends. That’s all you were. 

Your eyes flutter shut as Nikolai mumbles in his sleep again, his lips twitching and your lips curve into an adoring smile as you adjust his blanket and stare at him. You do one last thing for him and your eyes flutter as you treasure the intimacy and beauty of this sacred moment that you share with him as you fall asleep by his side. 

Nikolai was back in the battlefield as he fought to survive the Fjerdan bullets, terrified screams and gunshots ringing in his ears as he struggled to march on. Mud and grime covered him as he stood by Dominik, both of them bleeding and bruised as they shot down the Fjerdans, protecting each other and their comrades. It was wild and untethered, cruel and merciless and Nikolai remembered the promise to Dominik when they had started in the army. It was with him that Nikolai served, with him Nikolai promised to fall down. But as Nikolai failed to fall down as he watched Dominik fall down, as he breathed in and out, his blood on Nikolai’s hands that tried to stop Death from taking away his friend as he sobbed and screamed wildly, unhinged begging for anyone to help, begging Dominik not to leave him. 

Tears slipped down his eyes and all he could do was scream in fury and pain in a war that took away his best friend when he heard an urgent, gentle and reassuring voice that called out his name. 

Nikolai! You got to wake up! 

Nikolai screamed and the voice answered back as he felt it wrapping around him and dragging him through the depths of unconsciousness as he woke up alarmed and startled, tears rolling down his cheeks and beads of sweat on his brow to see your concerned and worried face hovering above him, your hands pressing gently onto his cheeks as your eyes glinted with anxiety and worry.   

He blinked once and then blinked twice as he stared wide eyed at your beautiful face etched with complete concern and alarm as he was startled, breathing heavily and panting in worry, flashes of his nightmare still haunting him as he clutched onto the sheets frantically. 

You were right by his side, your eyes full of concern and gentleness as your hands cupped his cheeks and he breathed in and out, his heart beating wildly as he buried his head into your chest as you wrapped him in a warm hug that exuded safety and affection. 

He still couldn’t believe this was real as he held onto you, tears rolling down his cheeks as he breathed in and out heavily, the flashes of Dominik’s breath leaving him haunting him as he felt you place a soft kiss on top of his head as you murmured soft and comforting words “It’s alright. It’s alright, I’ve got you. You’re safe with me, nothing and no one is going to hurt you.”

A sob escaped his body as your name slipped through his lips “Y/N...”

“It wasn’t real. It was just a nightmare. This is real. I am real.” you reassured him sincerely and honestly, your heart beating wildly in fear because you had woken up to a screaming Nikolai thrashing wildly around as sobs escaped him. You had never seen him so wild, so startled and unleashed in pain and suffering as you had woken him up from his nightmare with great effort. “Listen to my heartbeat. This is real.”

Silent tears escaped Nikolai as his breathing and beating heart eventually and gradually calmed down after a long eternity as he listened to the steady beating of your heart, a sweet melody, a soothing lullaby and a saving prayer. He doesn’t know how long both of you stay like this together in the darkness of the night, him with his head on your chest listening to your living, beautiful, wonderful heartbeat as he held onto you tightly afraid of the monsters in the dark, his breathing gradually lulling into normal and tears coming to an end as you held him tightly and warmly in your embrace, murmuring soothing words of comfort and reassurance. 

After what seems like an eternity, Nikolai raises his head to meet your quiet and steady gaze that exudes safety and warmth, blazing fiercely like a fire driving away the darkness. Nikolai suddenly realizes the enormity of what happened in front of you as he understands that he cried and screamed in fright and fear like a child in nightmares. 

He withdraws from you with an apology and shame in his face but you take his hands in his as you wear an expression etched with acceptance and understanding as you said lightly “Nightmares? Do you have them often?”

Nikolai nodded, unable to speak yet as he looked at you and saw the same understanding of the pain in your eyes “Do you want to talk about it?”

Nikolai shook his head dumbly and you knew you had to distract Nikolai from his thoughts of the nightmares as you jumped down from the bed and extended your hand to him with a quietly mischievous look in your eyes “Come on you! Let’s go see the stars.”

Nikolai’s eyes were alit with curiosity as he took your hand and you led him to his window, both of you taking a seat at the window seat where you could see the starry sky from the glassy pane. It was a beautiful night with a clear sky dotted with glittering stars patterned into beautiful and mysterious constellations. It was the kind of breathtaking night that made you glad to be alive. 

Nikolai was quiet for a long time and you realized that he wasn’t going to talk to you at all. It wouldn’t bother you generally and you would leave anyone alone but for some reason, you wanted Nikolai to at least have a small conversation with you instead of bottling all of his emotions up and bearing it on his own.

As you sat in silence with the boy who was haunted by the nightmares, you remembered one of your favorite stories from your favorite author, Ko Moon Young, a beautiful, intelligent and infamous literary children’s author in Shu Han who had the penchant for darkly crafting beautiful stories. You had read this story many times, in the library and in the Slat with your tattered copy soothing and comforting you after your horrible and terrifying nightmares and you had even once read out the story to Kaz who had suffered from terrible nightmares. 

You could remember every word of the story by heart. That’s how much you loved it. 

“The boy woke up from another terrible nightmare.  Bad memories from the past he wanted to erase from his head were replayed in his dreams every night and haunted him nonstop.” you began softly and soothingly as you looked at Nikolai who had been gazing at the stars but as you began to speak, his attention was on you with curiosity sparkling in his hazel eyes as the words that you loved and knew by heart slipped from your mouth “The boy was terrified of falling asleep so one day he went to find a witch and begged “Please get rid of all my bad memories so that I won’t ever have a bad nightmare again. Then I will do everything you ask.””

You saw Nikolai shift up straight as his hazel eyes stirred in curiosity and interest as he looked at you in anticipation as your lips curved into a small smile, the moonlight spilling around both of you as you continued in an entrancing voice “Years went by and the boy became an adult. He no longer had nightmares. But for some strange reason, he wasn’t happy at all.” 

“One night, a blood moon filled the sky, and the witch showed up again to take what he had promised in return for granting his wish. And he shouted at her with so much resentment “All my bad memories are gone. But why can’t I become happy?”” you continued in a soft and enchanting voice that held Nikolai’s rapt and intense attention as he wore an expression of intrigue, interest and unbridled curiosity and you paused for a moment as Nikolai leaned forward in anticipation wanting to know the answer, eager to know how the story ended. 

“Then the witch took his soul as promised and told him this “Hurtful, painful memories, memories of deep regrets, memories of hurting others and being hurt, memories of being abandoned... only those with such memories buried in their hearts can become stronger, passionate and emotionally flexible. And only those can attain happiness.” you answered in a intriguing voice as you looked at Nikolai whose eyes were eager, hungry and curious for the answer and as he listened to the story, his eyes became misty, full of thoughtfulness and surprise as he stared at you in wide eyed in wonder. 

“So don’t forget any of it. Remember it and overcome it. If you don’t overcome it, you will always be the kid whose soul never grows old.” you finished quietly and calmly with affection and love for the story as your eyes never left Nikolai who was blinking back tears as his breath caught in his throat and his lips twitched into a small smile for the first time since he woke up. 

Nikolai cocked his head in curiosity “That’s a sad yet surprisingly inspiring and heartwarming bedtime story. Who told you that?”

“Ko Moon Young. She’s my favorite author.” you admitted with a small smile as you looked at Nikolai with affection and kindness “The story is called ‘The Boy Who Fed on Nightmares’. I read it all the time when I have nightmares.”

“I like it.” confessed Nikolai honestly as he flashed a genuine smile at you making up his mind to research this author and read more of her books. “Thank you. Surprisingly, I needed to hear that story.”

You nodded with a small smile as you looked out of the glassy pane at the universe that extended out there when Nikolai’s voice disturbed your reverie “He would have been best friends with you.”

You cocked your head as you looked inquisitively and curiously at Nikolai wondering what he was talking about when he smiled warily and sincerely at you “Dominik. My best friend since childhood. We did everything together, thick as thieves. He sacrificed himself taking the bullet meant for me in the war because he believed I was the King that Ravka deserved.”

You were tongue tied and speechless as you remembered Nikolai screaming the very same name in his nightmare while you tried to wake him up. You realized that Nikolai had suffered deep loss and felt tragedy in his life. You knew Nikolai had bravely fought and bled in the war for Ravka but you didn’t know and understand the impact it had on him, the cruelty of it all, the comrades and best friend it had snatched away from Nikolai in the trenches and the tears shed and tragedy of it all. You saw that Dominik was someone who meant a great deal to Nikolai, someone who had faith in Nikolai and cared for Nikolai. You understood from taking one look at Nikolai that Dominik was someone extraordinary and important to Nikolai, someone who Nikolai didn’t want to lose and cared for deeply. You felt your heart break for Nikolai because you understood the pain and grief of losing a brother, someone you loved deeply, someone you wanted to stand by with you forever. The world has been cruel to the both of you by snatching away the two people you loved the most but you felt Nikolai’s grief and loss because you understood the feeling of having someone important to you sacrifice their life for yours. 

Nikolai looked at you with unshed tears in his hazel eyes, looking so beautiful and vulnerable in the moonlight “It’s him I have nightmares of often. I can’t save him even in my dreams. I wish it was me that had taken the bullet instead.”

You want to stop him from saying that awful thing because you can’t bear the thought of him dead but Nikolai is lost in his self - loathing and doubt “Dominik was a good man. The best man I ever knew. And he sacrificed himself for me. I wish he hadn’t. I wish all of them hadn’t died for me.”

“I understand.” you said softly and sincerely, your fragile heart full of sincere understanding and acceptance for him as you looked at the boy who had touched your broken soul in an unexpected manner “I wish I didn’t... but I do.”

Nikolai felt his heart bloom full of love and warmth for you as he felt nothing but gratitude for your comforting and uncommonly kind presence that soothed him as he smiled lovingly at you as both of you stared at the night sky and Nikolai realized that he had shown you where everyone had given him scars and you had accepted and understood him. 

Nikolai sighed as he wiped away his tears in remembrance and reminiscence of his hopeful and brave friend “He was brave until the very end.”

You wore an expression of thoughtfulness “They’re always brave.”

“I wish he wasn’t. I wish for once... he had taken the coward’s way out and let me take the bullet.”

“Do you know why we both survived, Nikolai? You survived because of Dominik and I survived because of my brother. It was because of them. Because in spite of their fear, they refused to step aside. Because their love for us was stronger than anything else in this world. Because they loved us more than their own lives and believed in us.” you said passionately and thoughtfully with sincerity after a long moment of silence as you looked at Nikolai who was stunned and surprised, full of disbelief and shock. 

“They broke our hearts but they loved us so much. And as much as it hurts, we need to be brave and kind and live our lives in a way that they would be proud of us. Otherwise, they died for nothing. Otherwise, we insult their memory. If we regret their actions and waste our lives, their sacrifice will be forever meaningless.” you said softly and quietly, your voice barely a whisper but it echoed loudly around Nikolai who was speechless and tongue tied as he processed the truth that you spoke with sincerity and honesty as you blinked back tears of grief and pain. “So we grieve, mourn but must live on and honor them.”

Nikolai was speechless as he processed your honest and wise words as he looked at you wide eyed in wonder and shock, wondering whether all along there had been an invisible string tying you to him, tethering both of your fates together as the words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself “I wish I had met you earlier.”

Your eyes widened in pleasant surprise as you let out an involuntary chuckle “What? Why? How would that even happen?”

Nikolai looked at you with a warm and wistful gleam in his hazel eyes “I don’t know. I imagine that instead of staying in Ketterdam, your family made it to Ravka. Your brother and you grew up together. Both of you would enlist for the Ravkan army. Maybe you’d be a medik... or perhaps a soldier in the trenches. You’d be a soldier with different medals of honor, a soldier who everyone has heard of for your bravery. And then one day Dominik and I meet you and your brother. And then the rest is history.”

You found yourself grinning at the story that was nice to ponder over as you looked at him in amusement “That’s a nice story. But our lives are so different... I only wished I could have met Dominik. He sounds like a great, kind - hearted person.”

“Dominik was one of the best people I knew. And I wish you could have met him too. I know that both of you would get along famously. Both of you are thoughtful, brave, kind - hearted.” said Nikolai sincerely and softly as he gazed in wonder and enchantment at how ethereal and divine you looked in the moonlight and bit his lip “I wish I could have met your brother. He sounds very different from mine.”

You smiled softly, grief and love bubbling in your heart as you looked at Nikolai with a reminiscent and wistful look “Not only was he enormously clever, he was also uncommonly kind and had a certain talent for mischief and laughter. I think you would have given my brother a run for his money... and that is saying something.”

Nikolai felt warm as an involuntary smile curved on his lips at those sacred words that meant the world to him as his eyes twinkled “I’m glad. It’s just... sometimes it’s lonely. I miss Dominik. The nightmares just remind me... that I should haven’t worried so much about the war. I should have asked him questions, I should have talked to him more and spent more time with him because every scrap of him would be taken from me. Honestly, if I didn’t know better, I still think he was still around.”

“I feel the same. My brother loved the amber skies and long walks but I used to be annoyed when he tickled me and played his pranks on me. I should have asked him how to be because all he left to me was his unfulfilled dreams.” you said honestly and sincerely, confessing the truths you kept hidden in your heart as you looked at Nikolai vulnerably and softly, remembering your brother who was easy to descend into laughter and full of kindness and light. “But now, after all this time, I know though he is dead, he didn’t stay dead. He’s alive in my head. I feel him all around, in the sad melody of a guitar, in the beauty of the sun set, in the stars, in scheming pranks with the Crows, a bright smile and in everything really. It’s hard to explain but it feels as if he never left.”

Nikolai was silent for a long moment because he understood the depth and magnitude of your emotions and was stunned that he had found another soul who felt the same as he did and who he could confide in easily and didn’t feel alone with. They stayed like that for a long moment in silence filled with meaningful and easy companionship and understanding with no need to fill it with meaningless chatter and small talk, glad to have each other to trust and understand their deepest fears and vulnerabilities. 

Nikolai looked at you who were hugging your knees tightly as you stared in fascination and wonder at the stars as his lips curved into an adoring smile as he finally broke the silence “Do you have nightmares?”

Your expression was enough of an answer and Nikolai was curious “How do you cope?”

“I used to drink until I forgot. But now I read and on nights where I have really bad ones, I lose myself in memories. Well... a memory. It’s not a happy memory, exactly. Well, it is happy... but it’s strange and complicated.” you answered sincerely after a long moment of silence, your expression one of reminiscence and wistfulness 

Nikolai was filled with fascination and curiosity as he leaned forward, his hazel eyes gleaming in unbridled affection and softness “What is it?”

“I think of him. I remember his bright face. He is holding me in his arms and talking to me. Just talking, hugging and laughing back at home before we came to Ketterdam.” you said softly and wistfully as you remembered one of the long - lost memories that you would lose yourself in of your brother who was always smiling brightly, his eyes full of mischief and kindness as he showered you with affection and warmth making you feel so loved and happy. 

Nikolai’s eyes widened slightly in soft understanding and empathy as he looked at your expression of hidden grief and painful reminiscence that longed to go back to a time where everything was sweet and innocent as you smiled at him bravely, and his heart tugged with sadness and understanding for you as he reached out for you and squeezed your hand gently wanting you to know that he was there for you. 

You squeezed his hand in return gratefully as you met his hazel eyes burning with affection and adoration as you smiled softly and sincerely at him surprised and glad that he of all people understood you better than anyone else. 

You looked at him with wonder and affection, fondness and warmth blooming in your heart for him as you whispered “You’re a true friend, Nikolai. I’m so glad I met you.”

Nikolai felt a twinge of hurt in his heart at only being thought of as a friend but knew deep down that you needed time to heal and move on from the demons that haunted your head as he felt happy that you thought of him as someone true you could trust, his heart fluttering in happiness at your words hoping one day he would be more than a friend to you “I’ll always be by your side, Y/N. No one can take me away from you.”

You smiled as you blushed, red dust scattering on your cheeks at how intensely and adoringly Nikolai was gazing upon you as he once again spoke, his voice full of concern “Y/N... I don’t want to lose you. So I want you to promise me that no matter what, if we’re in a dangerous situation and I’m - well, I’m - you won’t put yourself in danger for me. Promise me that you will think of yourself first and run away without caring about my fate. Don’t be brave.”

Your eyes had widened in shock because you had not expected such a confession out of Nikolai but the thought of leaving him in danger where he could be hurt and tortured, bleeding and bruised or worse snatched by cold cruel hands of death made you feel as you were pummeling down an abyss of disbelieving darkness as you shook your head immediately and firmly “No. I don’t think I can promise you that because I can never leave you in danger to fend for yourself, Nikolai.”

Nikolai felt too much all of a sudden, too hot as he felt your warm eyes full of beautiful fondness, complete concern and overwhelming protectiveness take his breath away as he felt time cease and stop surprised at how much you cared for him as he breathed “Look, I want you safe, alive and unharmed and I’m trying to do that.”

“Why?” you retorted back fiercely and quickly as you glared at him, your hand holding onto his tightly and Nikolai was taken aback in shock at your quick response as he found words failing him as you continued passionately and sincerely “Nobody is ever safe, not ever.”

Nikolai blew an exasperated breath as he realized you were stubborn, unwavering, fierce and loyal, qualities he loved about you but they were the same ones that got Dominik killed in the first place and he would not lose the love of his life “Look, I’m trying to take care of you and protect you because I don’t want to lose you.”

“But I never asked you for that.” you replied softly, your eyes softening with understanding and amazement at the depth of how much Nikolai cared for you and you felt like you didn’t deserve to be cared about so much. 

Nikolai’s eyes softened in exasperation and sincerity as he replied softly and earnestly “You shouldn’t have to ask.”

You felt such an enormous amount of intense emotions that you couldn’t begin to describe that it terrified and exhilarated you as you stared into Nikolai’s frightened and sincere eyes as you placed your hand on his cheek gently and confessed “I can’t promise you what you want me to. But I can only promise you that I will be by your side until the end and we will fight our way out of anything the world throws at together.”

Nikolai was breathless at the overwhelming devotion and sincerity burning in your eyes as he closed his eyes cherishing this moment and opened them as he looked at you with earnestness and adoration “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t, you silly boy. I’m not going anywhere.” you replied with a bright smile as your eyes twinkled in mischief and amusement as you placed a brief and light kiss on his cheek, unaware that Nikolai had gone into cardiac arrest at your lightest touch. 

Nikolai grinned loopily as he looked at you feeling incredibly happy and over the moon. As you talked, laughed and played chess, finally Nikolai and you both grew drowsy and sleepy enough to go back to bed. As you both sank into bed, your hands found each other as they intertwined with each other, warmth and reassurance seeping through. Nikolai glanced at you who was worn out and exhausted, resting next to him, your eyes fluttered shut as you breathed in and out peacefully lost in a sea of dreams and he smiled in content and happiness. This was blissful and beautiful Paradise that Nikolai wanted to last forever. 

 As Nikolai felt his drowsiness take over him, he realized something was different about him. He puzzled his head over what it could be and he sat up feeling warmth in his feet that were cold earlier when he had gone to bed. Nikolai pulled up the blanket to see blue socks with silly faces on his feet that he definitely had not put on before sleeping. Nikolai looked at the socks that warmed his cold feet and realized as he looked over at your peaceful sleeping visage that it was you that had cared enough to warm up his cold feet by putting thick warm socks on. Nikolai suddenly felt an odd sensation of warmth and surprise bloom in his chest as he blushed in shy happiness at the thought of you caring so much that you would do something so thoughtful and kind to take care of him and make him feel more comfortable and at ease. 

Saints, Nikolai wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He knew in his heart you were the only one for him.

As Nikolai brushed a stray hair from your forehead as he stared at your peaceful, sleeping face, he sent a quiet prayer of gratitude to the Saints thanking them for creating such a beautiful, kind hearted, brave creature with the courage of stars and a heart of love and sending you into his life that had been changed forever. 

Nikolai pulled up the blanket to ensure you were warm and cozy and brushed a fleeting kiss on your forehead bidding you goodnight as he sank into the pillows, his eyes never leaving you because he was certain with all his heart you were the one he wanted to spend all his starry nights with and wake up to watch the dawn of a new day. 

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[rinadragomir]

15 Reasons to read Sword Catcher

1 - DRAMA, no one stopped Cassie so she had an opportunity to show off. Royal intrigues, criminal secrets, whispers of forbidden magic which is about to return

2 - bisexuals💙💜lgbtqia took over this book and refuse to leave, good for them

3 - perfect multilevel world-building, CC spent lots of time exploring historical materials, complicated fantasy series and it shows. Makes your brain work, which is always a plus

4 - Will/Jem vibes between Kel/Conor🥺

5 - enemies to lovers to enemies to— they're driving me INSANE

6 - POC characters, two of the main characters have brown skin, the queen has black skin, lots of characters whose appearance is probably inspired by people from the Middle East. Asian killer girl, my beloved🫶✨

7 - Political games, if you loved Game of Thrones/ House of the Dragon/ ARCANE, you'd love this one too!

8 - A high delusional society coexisting with a much poorer majority. Provocative grotesque parties/ fancy balls VS Brutally beautiful criminal city/ local dance holidays with magical roots

9 - The main girl is apparently Cordelia/Catarina's lovechild. She came here to show her dangerous dance skills and heal you🤗. Everyone is scared of her and she's scared of her weird dreams about sex & apocalypse🤔

10 - Main character being a sweet silly cinnamon roll...but like "randomly criminal whore" edition. He's either too smart or too silly & horny, no in the middle. Always kind🌻savage little marshmallow that needs to be held and protected

11 - Glittery outfits, Bridgerton X Euphoria? Marie Antoinette X Great Gatsby?

12 - Magic, necromancy 🔮🪦 Magic was common centuries ago until it became too powerful and destructive, which is yay for me, but for some reason, no-no for everyone else. The last battle between enemies/lovers and boom👁️👁️the land was destroyed, magic is gone. Which is what legends say. BUT IS IT GONE THOUGH🤨

13 - "I know we've just tried to kill each other/threatened to kill, I know this is our third meeting, but what about a kiss?👉👈" AND IT'S ABOUT AT LEAST TWO COUPLES

14 - You know that character, who's like mysterious✨ minor/third main character✨he lives in an emo mansion and feeds all stray kittens🫶and everyone who bothered him was killed brutally or disappeared under mysterious circumstances for some reason...oh these silly little coincidences☺️

15 - because I ask you🥺

[muddiestpath]

My dunmeshi hill I will kill on:

Falin wasn't abused or negleted by her parents.

Sure, Laios decided that's what happened, but we've seen him be mistaken all throughout the series, like how he decided him & Toshiro were besties.

Falin herself says their parents were scared & didn't know how to handle the delicate situation of keeping EVERYONE safe in the village their dad were in charge of. He rides out alone to find a gnome who knows about the subject to better understand how to act. Yes, it's a gag that on returning he announces the solution with the worst phrasing. Bc the autism is hereditary. Laios also made a batshit decision of leaving before Falin thinking it'd help but just 'abandoned' her first(again as a punchline).

We see child Falin initially shocked by the news but once at the school she is enjoying herself. (telling that in Falin's memory the mum is also just as blindsided, Laios doesn't pay attention to people remember.) Also Laios says himself he didn't keep in contact after he left so we as readers don't know if the dream he had of his parents criticising him is how they would've reacted having known he didn't succeed in the army or if it is once again his assumption.

There's an assumption they sent her there out of disgust or shame. Laios unreliable narrator. But as the parents stayed in contact with her the entire(?) time? Surely the school had fees so it's not insane to imagine they were genuinely hoping the best for her. Like if someone needs 24hr care so you send them to a carehome you're not being cold or abusive for not dedicating yourself as their carer esp if you don't have the skills to deal with what the person needs. Falin's dad found a place equipped to teach Falin what she needed bc they couldn't provide it themselves.

Why do so many readers/watchers decide that Laios & Marcille's reactions are the objectively right ones & Falin is "being too kind" looking back with rose tinted glasses.

Maybe. For once. It was not abuse. Maybe Falin was closer to the truth than the bias man & the drama queen (lovingly).

Marcille was scandalised by Falin's mother's attempt to 'cure' her daughter bc they are based on no logic & COULD'VE been dangerous if it escalated, which it didn't. Marcille loves imagining the most dramatic motives behind people's actions.

Each time we see child Falin not in any duress about the 'cures' her mother tried, the mother is cautiousin all of them. Reads more as a home treatments for headlice than any 'conversion' analogies I've seen ppl read into.

Let the Touden parents be idiots that meant well & for once not default to the darkest possible interpretations of canon. Let Laios hate them for his own reasons (go off king).

[manofthepipis]

One thing that I’ve noticed is the amazing storytelling and character development Survey and Clicks are going through! They both have conflicting emotions, but seem to handle them very differently. It kind of reminds me of ‘Nice v.s Kind’ mentality. From my perspective, Survey is nice, but Clicks is kind.

For nice people, most of their characteristics are this:

- never wants to rock the boat

- Most concerned about not upsetting someone

- Afraid to speak up when they witness unkind behavior

- Censoring yourself for others feelings

- Enabling

Most of these in my opinion match Survey and their own mental battles pretty spot on! I should probably also mention early on that I don’t think Survey is evil, or acting out on any ill-will towards Spam, quite the opposite actually! Survey is probably walking on eggshells with every interaction they have with him. They haven’t had time to process through their own grief and PTSD from the last Neo rampage, so, that involuntary spills out when they don’t mean to. An example of this is when Swatch was talking to them about Neo, and their first thoughts were “Oh, Neo, great” clearly stating their apprehension towards the topic (and for a very good reason! Regardless of the mental state of the perpetrator, it’s hard to forgive and forget after a scenario like that). However, they also unfortunately, have that double whammy of the grief they felt by leaving Spamton alone, and was the only other Addison that actually heard the voice on the phone, therefore, they have an even more horrifying perspective of what Spamton went through. They somehow think that turning Spamton back into the white Addison will be the solution to all of their problems. Which, while one might think it cruel, given Surveys perspective, it makes a lot of sense. They can’t help but be scared of Spamton, they don’t want to be afraid, but they are so scared of that overwhelming feeling of NEO, and, it’s not like Survey has heard anything positive about Spamton’s new appearance. With the “burning hot plate sensation” to “I can’t say anything without being swamped by Ads” it makes sense that Survey would want to alleviate that burden. I really hope that one of the other Ads are able to catch on to Survey’s mental state, and help. Right now, my contester is Banner. Those two seem to be a little bit closer than the others, especially when it came to Spamton. Banner was also the one who noticed Survey’s apprehension and terror when Neo was in their house. This is getting to long LMAO so the summarize, ADDISONS!!! SPAMTON!! PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE ONE LIGHTING THEMSELVES ON FIRE TO KEEP YOU ALL WARM!!!!

To move on, Clicks on the other hand, is kind. For kind people, their personalities are like this:

- Willing to make waves

- Clear, direct communication, even when uncomfortable

- Being true to their own values or feelings

- Helping

- Acting from genuine feelings

Now Clicks isn’t a saint, he’s an asshole and a drama queen, even he himself admits this. However, he definitely gets the kindness award! As he passes this test with flying colors in my opinion! He doesn’t pull back his punches with Spamton, (like him just telling Spamton to shut the fuck up LMAO) and has the most clear communication with Spam! Spamton himself, recognizes that Clicks isn’t like Banner and Survey who are still trying to test the waters with him, rather, he treats Spamton like an equal. (Even if his sense of equal is just being an asshole). Clicks has also show to value his own feelings, especially with the latest chapter! The reason it took him this long was because before, his feelings were just a giant ball of ???. Once Clicks was able to understand and get through his emotions he was able to have a better understanding of Spamton and his character. (Clicks knows that Spamton hated being that white Addison, Survey is trying to make Spamton that white Addison). Throughout the story, Clicks has shown to have a remarkable sense of body language understanding as well as trying to respect Spamtons boundaries. An example of this is when Spamton thought he was being interrogated by the other ads, and when Clicks senses his discomfort, he tries to drop the topic. Even though he’s an asshole, he definitely wants to be there for all the addisons are a strong shoulder, as well as a protector. Clicks is notorious for making waves, (all with good reason!) If someone like Survey had to have the heart the heart with Spam like Clicks had, I feel like Survey would say something like, “Everyone is capable of change Spamton! And we all want to change for the better and help!” But Clicks is just like, “you are the most egotistical bastard I have ever met. Shut the absolute fuck up.” LMAO I love this guy. Clicks isn’t a nice guy, but he is a kind guy. And that goes a lot farther in my own opinion!

To conclude, Clicks is able to empathize, while Survey sympathizes. Both are so complex it’s so good rararjdndjskdkdnd !!!!!!!

i've gotta say reading this ask/analysis (asknalysis?) has got me smiling from ear to ear because of describing something so accurately i couldn't put it into words better than this

one, i'm extremely thankful for this, and tysm for your thoughts! They're always a pleasure to read especially as i see that so much of these addisons have actually got across :'D

i really really really like writing morally grey characters, and using the kind versus nice personalities is such a great way to describe their moral differences! Surv is definitely trickier, because as you said, they're not evil, they just got a lot going on. they are apprehensive, and definitely walking on eggshells because they have no idea to actually approach this situation other than wanting it over with. Their persistence to find out what happened to spamton in pt 1 was fulfilled (for better or for worse), and being "nice" is what he needed then, to be brought down from his rage and resentment towards them as a group, while kindness is what he needs now. So Survey's inadvertently putting themselves in a worse position, creating divide, just because their approach that worked before isn't working now. And it's not their fault while at the same time, yeah, being their fault. i rlly like this line "setting themselves on fire to keep the rest of you warm" it like 1. is perfect for this and 2. goes hardcore

Without spoiling too much I do believe you have it right :D though Banner isn't in a position as extreme as Survey here, the whole thing is certainly messing with him. He doesn't want to make the wrong decisions anymore about what to do with Spamton's situation, finding it odd and uncanny, rather than devastating like Survey. He wants to make things right, but doesn't have the tools right now to do so. He wants to help, probably more than anyone else, but unyielding optimism isn't going to work and he knows that :')

you're also right about what would have happened if Surv were in Clicks' position then. There wouldn't be much of a resolution other than Survey going back to what they've seen had worked before- talking Spamton (and the rising emotions) down. When said emotions and concerns, instead, needed to be acknowledged and translated to make any progress. With Clicks, processing how he's felt for so long and what Spam's feeling now, it helped them both in one conversation and connection. Spamton's a lot like the addisons than he cares to admit, as he's been one of them at some point, so being an equal is what he's wanted, but then when he never got it, it turned to wanting to be 'bigger' than them, and thus the spiral/decline. Clicks being kind, noticing visual cues of discomfort rather than being impatient with getting information out of Spamton asap when he finally starts talking, is going to make Spamton feel more like an equal and less a belittled outcast, or worse, a freakshow. And though addisons always have their own selfish motivations directing their actions, the outcome of Clicks' approach is pretty selfless in the end.

I'm also so so so glad to have readers that see the differences in empathy versus sympathy and nice versus kind! like, just the subtle differences between each approach, in where each side is commonly seen as synonymous, when in context, they can vary from each other in large ways!! It's enlightening even as a writer to see :D! tysm for sharing!

[rosewoodroad]

Scattered thoughts on SoTO

Tl;dr: Lukewarm climax, lukewarm ending. Isgarren is still rude.

Finished the final chapter in an hour and a half. A lot of drama was condensed into those 3 instances, but it felt like there was zero point to the first two where we were just at the camp. It got a bit juicier in the third instance in Eparch's palace. Like, three drops of juice juicier.

The most interesting bits of the story I can recall are:

Eparch ate his entire army! At the time, I was like "oh shit" but in hindsight, I was really hoping for Eparch to be planning a massive attack or something. There was so much build up as to why he wasn't retaliating against Peitha. But no, his great plan was just to eat his own soldiers. I guess it makes sense with his character, but I think if the execution and consequences of the reveal was better, it would have been a real slap to the face.

Eparch's first contact with Tyria was the Maguuma Jungle and Mordremoth, the latter of which he was scared of. This is a real neat detail imho, and helps paint a better picture of the power hierarchy between our antagonists. Eparch truly isn't that big of a threat in the end.

Eparch's final battle was a letdown for all his intrigue. Heitor was harder than him. I literally stood there and tanked all his hits, there was zero mechanic to the encounter. It sure made the speedkilling achievement easy, though.

Meh battle aside, Snargle is always a pleasant surprise.

Isgarren is such an asshat. It makes him an interesting character, but I'm upset they didn't do more with him. Like, what was all that talk about the Commander being similar to Isgarren before? Everyone is like, "you remind me of him" but they never show how?? I thought they were gonna do some real in depth introspection into his personality by the time the story ends but I guess that's it. We're supposed to see the two of them as twins for some reason, but maybe the Fractal will shed some light?

Sounds like Zojja is leaving us for good this time. The exchange between Zojja and the Commander is the only element of the chapter that made me feel things :( Also, I love how the Commander's lines here mirrored their monologue in the prologue: "See? Everyone's doing just fine, Aurene" to "Everyone will be fine, Zojja."

I think my biggest disappointment with the ending is the lack of implications in the epilogue. We could talk with a bunch of people but they're all about the future with the Kryptis and whether peace is possible and whatever. Nothing about, or from, mainland Tyria. No hints for the next expac. No mention of our guild members. No Ivan, who sent us on the mission to begin with and heard nothing from us since. No Taimi, who really ought to be spamming calls on the comms device now that she knows Zojja is back. What is the point of the communicator device in our bags when it's literally used for the prologue and nowhere else???

Peitha's king now. I love how they kept the 'king' title instead of making her queen. But... that's it for her, I guess. I knew she wouldn't betray us, but I admit it's also sort of boring how the story just ended there. I think it could have benefited from more post-story achievements where we help out with turbulent politics or diplomacy instead of going on another treasure (or kryptis) hunt binge. Right now, it feels like the equivalent of brushing dirt off our pants and going, "welp that's done."

Nobody's gonna mention what Eparch said about Kryptis' predatorial nature, huh? They drop his (very, very tiny violin) sympathetic backstory and motivations, and then proceed not to bring its implications up at the peace treaty scene. Absolutely nobody is bothered by Kryptis possibly needing to feed off mortals.

All in all, honestly a forgettable ending. Looking back, the expac started off really strong thanks to the intrigue behind the Wizards and Isgarren. But once that intrigue is solved and we go delving into Nayos, it just feels like a rehash of all our previous adventures where we fight to overcome some Great Force of Evil- just that the Commander isn't in the spotlight anymore. I would've preferred it if the past three chapters were spent with the wizards instead, solving dumb magical problems (or even fighting to keep the Astral Ward a secret!) instead of partaking in a generic military storyline for the 9th time. Like, instead of Eparch, we could have been hunting down a whistleblower, or a traitor maybe, something that keeps the intrigue there.

At least it's acknowledged that the Commander is tired of this stuff too. They need a nap.

[wisteria-cherry]

forty days and forty nights (day fourteen!)

(two weeks woah)

(and don’t forget to comment!! i love interacting with u guys, it makes me day :))

the outing with mina went exceedingly well. there was never a lack of conversation, and it turned out that both of you enjoyed each other’s company. of course, it was hard not to enjoy mina’s company— her energy was contagious.

you told her about how bakugo had come into the shop injured (“who does that?!”) and she’d laughed, seemingly curious. she then told you that he prioritized self care because he knew he couldn’t be a hero if he was injured, and she too found it off that he came into the store before getting treated. the two of you couldn’t find a reason as to why he did such a thing (although mina insisted it’s because he liked you).

you were still pondering this when the familiar sound of the bells startled you out of your thoughts. you frowned. it was bakugo.

“shouldn’t you be at home, getting rest?” your brow furrowed. “you’re still hurt, y’know.”

“i wanted coffee.” bakugo grunted.

“i oughta not sell you anything.” you huff. “and make you go home and rest.”

“i’m fine, dumbass.” bakugo rolled his eyes. “fuckin’ drama queen.”

“fine.” you exhale. “medium black coffee.”

“finally.”

minutes later, when you give him his coffee, you decide to ask one more time, just to make sure.

“…are you sure you’re ok-“

“yes, i’m fine, holy shit.” bakugo interrupted. “piss off already.”

“oh. okay.” you chewed on your lip anxiously.

“…”

“are you-“

“yes.”

“okay.” you take a deep breath. “well… how was work?”

“didn’t work today.” bakugo grunted. “shitty doctors wanted me to rest.”

“and you still came here?” you arch an eyebrow.

“drinking coffee ain’t the same as beating the shit out of villains.” bakugo scoffed. “in case you haven’t noticed.”

“i guess that’s fair.” you agree reluctantly.

“the hell’re you so worried for, anyway?” bakugo glared.

“you’re my friend.” you shrug. “and you’re hurt. not a good mix.”

“tch. worrywart.” he rolled his eyes.

“it’s for good reason.”

“whatever.”

the two of you fell into silence. however, you were beginning to notice something— the silence, at least in your eyes, was more comfortable than it once was. the sort of silence between two people content with simply being in one another’s presence.

but there was still a little bit of awkwardness.

“tell me about the villain.” you prompt. “that did this.” bakugo blinked.

“what, you think you’re gonna go beat ‘im up?” bakugo snorted. “in your dreams, dumbass.”

“i’m just curious is all.” you laugh. “i don’t do violence, trust me.”

“‘course you don’t. you work at a coffee shop.” bakugo scoffed. “i’d take you down in less than a second.”

“sure.” you agree skeptically.

“don’t gimme that shit!” bakugo roared. “i can and i will! fight me, right now! i’ll kill you!”

“if you kill me,” you remind him calmly, “i can’t make your coffee.”

“i’ll just—“ bakugo angrily and frantically looked for an alternative, taken aback by your retaliation. “—have someone else do it! you’re not the only damn employee!”

“i’m your favorite.” you joke lightheartedly. bakugo only tches.

“whatever. you’re off the hook. for now.” he grumbled.

“good to hear.” you pause for a moment. “hey, bakugo.”

“what?”

“don’t come in hurt like that again.” you say. you pause again. that sounded kind of rude. “please.” yeah, good save.

“i’m not even that hurt.” bakugo scowled.

“i should’ve called an ambulance.”

“quit overreacting, geez. i don’t need a goddamn ambulance.” he rolled his eyes.

“fine.” you huff. “but if that happens again—“

“it won’t, god!”

“…promise?” you ask quietly. yes, you joked about it, but it really had been a scare to see him like that. bakugo seemed to pick up on that, and he sighed.

“yeah, yeah, promise.” he relented.

“thanks.”

“so…” you speak after a brief moment of quiet. “when do you go back to work?”

“tomorrow.” he answered sourly. “i wanted to work today, but the fuckers wouldn’t let me.”

“really?” you grin. “bakugo, are you a workaholic?”

“no.” bakugo tched. “i just work hard. i can take breaks when i need to, dumbass.”

“like the party.” you confirmed.

“yeah, that.” bakugo snorted. “didn’t even wanna go to the stupid thing.”

“then why did you?” you blink.

“already told ya. none of your damn business.”

“right, right, secrets.” you grin. “so mysterious.”

“whatever. i’m allowed to have secrets, dumbass.” bakugo glared, to which you only smiled.

“i know you are.” you reassured him. “but i think it’s funny that such a trivial question gets you all defensive.”

“i’m not defensive!” bakugo snapped (defensively). “you’re just nosy as fuck!”

“sorry!” you laugh. “i’m just curious!”

“you’re a dumbass, you know that?” bakugo rolled his eyes.

“only for you.” you tease, to which bakugo only huffed. “hey, you never did tell me about that villain.”

“tch. if it’ll get you off my back about the damn party, then fine.” he agreed reluctantly. “his quirk had something to do with blades. tons of ‘em, kinda like whips. pain in the ass to dodge.”

“that sounds scary.” you remark.

“scary?” bakugo looked up from his coffee to meet your gaze. “i wasn’t scared.”

“you weren’t?” it was impressive. you already knew that if you encountered someone like that, you’d be shaking.

“naw. it was nothing.” bakugo looked back to his coffee. “‘sides, that was one of the first things we learned at ua. fear’s a luxury pros can’t afford, or some shit.”

“fear is a luxury.” you repeat, pondering it for a moment. “i’ve never thought of it that way.”

“‘course you haven’t. you’re a civilian. you get to be scared ‘cuz you’ve got heroes to protect ya.” bakugo grunted. “i’m one of the protectors. i’m the protector.”

“that’s.. kind of sad,” you admit. “not being allowed to be scared.” bakugo snorted.

“like hell i’m scared.” bakugo smirked. “villains don’t scare me.”

“what does scare you, then?” you lean on the counter curiously. bakugo seemed to do a double-take.

“the hell d’you mean?” he asked, brow furrowed.

“what’re you scared of?” you shrug.

“that’s not your business either.” bakugo narrowed his eyes as he gripped the handle of his coffee mug tighter, promptly closing himself off. you figured this was fair. it’d only been two weeks since you met, obviously there are going to be boundaries.

“right, my bad.” you smile. “if it helps for anything, i’m scared of spiders.”

“spiders?” bakugo gave you a look of pure scorn. “they’re tiny. why the hell would you be afraid of them?”

“they’re creepy.” you huff. “with all their legs and eyes.”

“yeah, sounds terrifying.” bakugo smirked. he was mocking you. the nerve.

“hey, don’t mock me!” you pout. “that’s not fair. at least i’m sharing.”

“i don’t have to share if i don’t want to.” bakugo flipped you off. you, being the bigger person and more mature of the two stuck your tongue out at him.

“what’re you, a kid?” bakugo snickered.

“no, i’m offended by your crude obscenities.” you inform him.

“yeah, well, get used to it.” bakugo now flipped you off with both hands for good measure.

“i oughta kick you out. the customers will be horrified.” you tease.

“you won’t.” bakugo grinned maliciously. “you’re lucky to have me at this place.” you roll your eyes.

“you’re so humble, bakugo,” you tell him sarcastically.

“i don’t need to be humble. i’m the goddamn best.” his insufferable smirk widened.

“i should’ve known.” you sigh dramatically. “what have i gotten myself into.”

“buckle up.” bakugo grinned viciously. “you’re with the pros now. no goin’ back.”

“in your dreams, dumbass.”

tags: @k0z3me @cherryblossomclarity

[no-m4gic]

Hey mod Sitaya! Could I request the THH characters with a autistic reader in their class?

And Welcome too :)

ahh my first request !! i hope my writing isn't too shitty. also bonus tenko and mikan since i messed up the first time. sorry if this isn't what you wanted!

sorry if it seems rushed or is too short!! there were a lotta characters x3

p.s i removed hifumi and yasuhiro since i had no ideas for them...

this took so long

~mod sitaya

THH CHARACTERS WITH A GN AUTISTIC DARLING !

BYAKUYA TOGAMI - finds it disgusting and insufferable

"not another one of these peasants... and an indifferent one? hell."

you? indifferent? wow. worse person to be handicapped around.

at first he'd give you the stank-eye. he'd treat you the same as he treats everyone: like a peasant under him.

but oh no. hell will break loose when he finds out you're indifferent.

he'd be such a drama queen, never wanting to be in the same room as you, scooting away, making a face whenever you were around.

byakuya would treat your autism like the plague.

he is in his most annoying era whenever toko annoys him, making sarcastic remarks and comments here and there.

though once you manage to befriend him or i guess tame him like some beast, he'd stop with the bratty ass behavior. maybe not with the distancing himself and leaving the room shenanigans, but still.

whenever he found you annoying (which is most of the time) he'd just pretend he doesn't care or hear, walk away or recommend you go annoy naegi or kirigiri.

one upside is you could basically ask him for money to buy stim toys, weighted blankets or sensory stuff and he'd just say "take it" and throw a thick, fat wad of cash at you.

MONDO OOWADA - finds himself relating to you

"don't think of yourself like that, s/o. i like you most when you're you."

yeah... even though he's the leader of japan's most popular biker gang, he has his number of his own insecurities and struggles.

one is he was and still is, never able to properly socialize with people, that being the reason why he's always so loud and interrupts everyone.

reverse comfort

he's not embarrassed of you, he's embarrassed of himself.

you always have to comfort him when he finds himself in third or second place.

you and scented candles are his emotional support.

sometimes he'd randomly scare you by picking you up from behind.

need not fear, he also does the same thing to ishimaru, in fact he does it more to kiyotaka than you.

if you're cold he'd lend you his jacket.

MAKOTO NAEGI - would find positivity and hope in it

"come on... it's not your fault. plus, it made you who you are right now, it made you you, and i love that."

whenever you're down, makoto would make up stupid stories to try and get you to crack. [ you can decide whether or not s/o ends up laughing at his stories or not ]

as well as dumb stuff that's happened to him due to his 'luck', like him losing his sock and never finding it.

he'd let you ruffle and mess up his hair, also warning you about his ahoge so you don't stab yourself.

sometimes when he has nightmares he'd knock on your door and ask if he could stay for a bit.

in the morning though you won't have to run to the lunch hall, because well, you'll find your breakfast sitting on your bedside table alongside some juice or milk.

whenever you do crazy things, makoto would just watch nervously and would only interfere when you're about to get hurt.

also he likes to stargaze with you at midnight when everyone's asleep.

KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU - worries about you, yet supports you.

"as long as you don't run in the halls or scream like mondo- you'll remain my closest friend!"

sometimes he'd unintentionally throw in a sarcastic or dramatic remark, but that's just him, and you know that.

usually when you're hyper active to the point where you can't eat on your own, he takes it as his own responsibility to feed you manually (and make sure you don't starve to death)

he'd always start off the day with a greeting and how your day went.

since he's asked so many people that, he can tell when you're lying, and would ask what's wrong.

persistent bby

rarely you warn him about mondo picking his ass up, since you find it hilarious.

however you two always have each others' backs.

CHIHIRO FUJISAKI - relates to you on the same level

"don't worry- if i go, alter ego will stay with you till you go too, and then we'll be reunited! right s/o...?"

aside from mondo, you'd be the second person he'd tell his secret to. he knows he can trust you with it, especially when he isn't ready for the world's criticism.

whenever his day was just a horrible one in general, he knows he can come to you for comfort.

before going to bed you both make each other hot chocolates.

you'd lend chihiro some of your clothes whenever he'd decide his confidence level for that day.

if you can't beat a level on a game, just ask chihiro, he'll work his cheating magic.

when your craziness kicks in, you'll insist and persist he hacks into somebody's account to invade their privacy. (you can choose who)

LEON KUWATA - would try to understand your disability

"i don't know what the heck you're doing, but i like where it's going, s/o."

75% of the time he doesn't know what you're doing, but goes along with it.

you'd always be cheering the loudest in the audience at his baseball matches.

he'd be appreciative of your craziness and impulsive actions most of the time.

like you managing to break a vending machine and get like 10 energy drinks for the price of 1.

but sometimes he'll be really confuse and just leave you be... and by that i mean ditch you like the dick he is.

you'll have to navigate your way back.

once you do find him, you'll grab his shoulders from behind, making him scream like a little girl.

SAYAKA MAIZONO - finds it unique and supports you

"don't say that! you're waayy more special than the them!"

honestly she'd think it makes you unique from the others.

in fact, you guys would discuss about song lyrics and she'd take a lot of inspiration from you and your tales.

overall sayaka wouldn't mind whenever you let your heart out, she enjoys hearing your voice.

she's too embarrassed to admit that, though.

if you have long hair, she'd braid and mess around with it, also letting you mess with hers since she really likes your touch.

if you ever needed help with falling asleep soundly, sayaka would offer to sing you a song or a lullaby, as well as learn the lyrics to your favorite song after that night as backup.

pls- she'd be so patient with you. if you were ever mad, she'd leave you be to cool down. if you were upset or scared she'd hold and hug you, telling you everything will be okay. she'd listen to you vent your heart out.

she spends more time in your room chattering with you rather than her own room sitting miserably on a table rocking her brain back and fourth thinking of catchy song lyrics.

AOI ASAHINA - finds you even more adorable

"eeek!! you're so cute s/ooo!! i just wanna eat you up!"

ooh hoooooo.

asahina would treat you like her baby.

her and sakura will defend you with their life, especially from mondo and byakuya. they're getting their asses beaten if they dared mess with you.

overprotective mother mode

she'd share her donuts and food with you.

whenever you guys meet up for the day she'd give you a daily head pat and compliment like "oh my goshh you look cuter than before!"

she'd also get you stim toys and other stuff to distract yourself with incase she was busy with a competition or training with sakura.

if you really wanted, aoi would also teach you to swim.

also would chase you just to ruffle your hair.

CELESTIA LUDENBURG - doesn't care about it

"as long as it isn't infectious, you can have all the time and tea you want with and from me."

oh you were disabled? she didn't even notice.

celeste wouldn't give a flying fuck about it.

it's more of if you piss her off or not. if you don't, you can have tea with her, if you do... well, she'd either send you to kyoko or act like a less dramatic togami.

most of the time celeste would listen to whatever you had to say, or pretend she was listening and constantly nod her head.

she'd be hesitant to let you around grand bois chéri (her cat), so you'd have to try your hardest to prove to her you won't injure or let chéri get injured in your care.

other than that celeste would treat you like any other person.

if you get too out of hand for her though, she'd get you some sensory or stim toys to keep you busy from annoying her.

KYOKO KIRIGIRI - would be supportive of you no matter what

"who cares about what the others say? you're perfect the way you are, s/o."

gentle head and back pats

sometimes in her free time, she'd follow you around, most of the time just to make sure you're alright.

lets you review cases with her, just to keep your mind fresh and active, perhaps one day you'll impress and blow her mind by solving a mystery even she couldn't crack.

even though she'd be embarrassed, shy or not wanting to, she'd join in your activities if you invited her to, such as dancing or singing.

though she'd never share hers, she'd always ask about you and your feelings.

is very persistent, and would secretly and anonymously send you little gifts from time to time like a secret admirer.

JUNKO ENOSHIMA - would be inquisitive and criticize

"oh my gosh, so you just move out of nowhere? couldn't imagine me like that, SO glad i'm not you."

has no idea and knowledge about disabilities and stuff.

she's worse than togami.

she'd always humiliate and embarrass you in front of people to cause despair

but she'd always find herself crawling back to you.

it's annoying, and she likes that. it brings her so much self-inflicted despair

uses you as an insult, especially towards mukuro and kamukura.

"you guys are WORSE than s/o, so much more annoying, no wonder s/o's spirit is brighter than your guys' futures."

when she isn't in such a despair-ful mood, instead of embarrassing you in public, she'd just grab your hand and lightly squeeze it, all while obnoxiously insulting her sister.

since she's an uncultured swine, she'd either let you squeeze, hug and cry to a monokuma bot or let mukuro deal with you.

SAKURA OGAMI - would be supportive and encourages you

"if you lift your chin up you'll see the path hope has created for you, s/o."

usually you'd watch her work out and bring and make her protein shakes whenever asahina was training.

she'd make sure you're good and healthy, both physically and mentally.

if you also wanted to train and work out with her, she'd offer to make you a healthy drink afterwards.

you two always have fun making smoothies and salads with funny drawings and faces made of tomatoes and onions after work out sessions.

would let you style her hair into ridiculous sights.

whenever you guys were in a meeting or assembly, you, asahina and sakura would crack jokes and giggle together.

both of you have this special greeting where you jump and high-five, most of the time sakura just stands with her hand up though.

TOKO FUKAWA - pretends to find you insufferable but relates to you

"i g-guess freaks talk to f-freaks, don't they...?"

at first she'd try to act like togami around you. avoiding you and giving you the "ew" look.

but later on she'd find herself warming up to you and doing small little affectionate tasks like bringing you a glass of water.

goes by the "if i do this for you, you will do this for me" sorta thing.

so she fetches you that glass of water (even if you didn't ask for it), you'll have to get her a glass of water or juice too next time.

sometimes you'd also help her chase byakuya, just for fun, and a way to relieve your anxieties.

you guys may or may not get too crazy and start a food fight, targetting each other and byakuya.

you both cower away when it comes to social interactions

BONUSES ;; TENKO CHABASHIRA & MIKAN TSUMIKI

TENKO CHABASHIRA - becomes more overprotective of you

"i have to defend you from the degenerate males, stay behind me, s/o!"

whenever anyone, especially the guys, approaches you, she'd jump into action and scare them away.

if you wanna talk to anyone of your guy friends, you'll have to distract her or send her away.

you two would toss small snacks into each others' mouth such as gummies or little candies and make a game of it. never hard candy though, since you guys don't wanna injure each other.

if any guy harassed you, they are going to the afterlife once tenko finds out.

you both do crazy things such as destroying a vending machine just to steal it's contents without paying.

she'd also invite you to watch himiko do magic tricks, but no guys allowed, okay?

since sometimes you can be really clueless and naive, tenko scans the place to look for any guys or suspicious people and hesitates to leave you alone to either run an errand, check on yumeno or use the bathroom.

also, whenever you're using the bathroom, tenko stands outside the toilet door, guarding it with her arms crossed and legs spread.

MIKAN TSUMIKI - worries more about you and becomes more clingy

"s/o! w-what happened?! who did this- or-or did you fall? eek! i'm sorry!"

would occasionally check on you and knock on your room door to a point where it gets sorta creepy and annoying.

you'll have to tell her that you're fine, and you won't die within' 10 seconds when she's off elsewhere.

well since you do tend to do crazy things beyond your control, she knows you're gonna get hurt eventually.

and you do.

when you get injured or hurt, you won't have to head to her office, since well... the nurse will come to you automatically.

though she'd be crying, fearing you were going to die or something dramatic.

"i'm so sorry s/o!! i should've ran quicker- don't leave me!!"

if it is serious and you end up blacking out, somebody else would have to give you medical attention since mikan would be sulking in the bathroom, washing her face over and over again.

she's touch-starved, but is always too shy and scared to ask for hugs.

whenever you guys are in assembly, she'll hold your hand and squeeze it. she relaxes herself knowing you're there, right next to her.

likes & reblogs appreciated, reposts not appreciated!

© sitayaa

[rzyraffek]

Hi hi!! I’m here to request something with my bbg Vincent Sinclair! your thingy doesn’t exactly specify which slashers, so I think I’ll ask for Vincent and Michael Myers just so u have an idea u can write abt if you don’t know the other!!

Okay okay, so what about a reader with a bad attitude? So for Vince, I would assume that their relationship starts with the reader defending Vincent from Bo. Like, Bo just starts calling Vincent names (like the mean truck man he is >:[) and Vincent is just taking it, then the reader steps between the two twins and just starts BURNING Bo with every insult they have.

“Oh, he’s the freak? Well at least he knows how to keep his mouth shut and isn’t asking everyone with a *female anatomy* to *adult fun* every ten seconds.” or something vicious like that-

and Vincent is just dumbfounded that someone has the balls to speak up against Bo.

and for Michael, same thing, but the reader is just being so mean when he starts chasing them! Like, they try to hide behind a door and they make sure that Michael saw them, so when he opens the door, the reader just flips him off and kicks him away from the door really harshly-

or, just being really really hard to catch. Like if they climb somewhere high and he can’t get to them, the reader just sticks their tongue out and flips him off again with the snarkiest attitude!!

anyways, that’s all I gots for now! Feel free to ignore this lol, but if you don’t directly respond to this ask but do use the idea, I ask that u credit me!

u look lovely today, and I hope u have an amazing night/evening/morning/day!

<3

First of all, for some reason I got no notification that somone requested anything and I have no clue how long it was sitting in my inbox. Second of all thats great idea cuz in most of fics reader is always very meow meow shy uwu bebi, which is sometimes annoying tbh, they should be rude sometimes. Requests open

Slashers with badass s/o

Vincen Sinclair

Bros used to this kind of treatment, name calling, mean words, yelling ect

This relationship started by s/o just simply asking Vincent if he's alright after Bo yelled at him

Any kind of affection makes him blush like teenager girl after watching twilight for first time

In his free time he will just hold s/o hand and walk behind them like lost puppy

Imagine: "yo vinc get over here you lazy ass" vincent:😰🏃 "well BO maybe if you stopped acting like such drama queen and get rid of this nasty ass attitude then MAYBE people will start helping you without fear of losing a limb or sanity?" 🧍🧍‍♂️

Tbh the only reason that Bo didn't commit murder on s/o is that vincent is actually very happy now and even that Bo is a horrible human being he doenst want his bro completely emo

Lack of ideas so im just going to put some mean words to Bo here

"Dont worry vincent, hes just jealous cuz he cant hold conversation with women for more than 4seconds without scaring them to death. litteraly"

"Aw baby dont be sad, just compare your hair routine with his. Im surprised hes not bald to be honest"

Live laugh love Vincent

"Nonono dont be upset, how about we draw together huh? Can you go pass me crayons from your workplace😇i totaly wont whoop your brother while you are away"

If s/o is just rude to Bo face, Vincent will be so so happy that they protect him but so so worried that s/o is about to evaporate due to Bo anger issues

"You calling him a freak? Better look who has stable relationship and lack of anger issues L bozo"

Also now Vince is 24/7 with her bcs not only shes great, protects him and provides comfort🥰

Micheal Myers

"AHAHAH looozer can't climb the ladder? Yo old as hell man go to retirement home"

S/o calling him granma to bully him

"Yo man stop begin such stalker or im going go call yo sister (in some versions laurie is his sister if u dont agree just ignore this part lol) and she gonna beat you up

Micheal spawning behind her, inside her house:🧍 "😨 yo sup Myers wacha got there? A a knife? Eee cool cool"🏃

"If you have such blood-lust go kill rats in my basement they keep stealing my food"

🧍 Myers emoji

Im sorry if its unfunny or boring I watched house of wax when it came out so like long time ago and I kinda forgor vincent and bo personalities. And Myers personality is basicly 🧑‍🦯old man

[underthetree845]

ADA Members as High School Students- Headcannons

All the characters are of high school age, except for Fukuzawa who is a teacher.

I might do the older ADA members as teachers eventually, but I wanted to focus on them all as students for now.

Includes: Dazai Osamu, Kunikida Doppo, Ranpo Edogawa, Atsushi Nakajima, Kyoka Izumi, Miyazawa Kenji, Yosano Akiko, Fukuzawa Yukichi

Cws: mentions of suicide (because it's dazai), mentions of school fights, school life, mentions of bullying, school counseling

Dazai Osamu:

Would mess with the underclassmen by sending them on a wild goose chase for the nonexistent school elevator or something like that. 

Takes advantage of his friends and always gets them to do his assignments for him (that habit obviously carried into adulthood). 

Proudly holds the record for the most unexcused tardies in one school year. 

The teacher keeps trying to call on him to answer a question when he seems like he’s slacking off but Dazai always answers correctly, that devilish little unapologetic grin on his face. 

Literally never studies. 

The teachers can’t tell if he cheats or is just really intelligent, but if he were cheating, they wouldn’t be able to catch him. 

(He doesn’t cheat by the way, but he never explicitly denies it). 

Has been confessed to at least three times, (he scared them away when he asked if they’d be willing to commit double suicide with him). 

The guidance counselors keep trying to schedule a meeting with him to talk about his “suicidal tendencies,” but then he just shows up on mushrooms or something and they’re like “Nevermind.” 

Drama queen. 

Used to be part of this questionable after school club (Mori was the faculty advisor) that got disbanded. 

Pulls pranks on the faculty and other students (mostly Chuuya), particularly ones he has some reason to hold spite against.

Never gets caught. 

Smooth liar. 

Completely up with the gossip too. 

Those career path quizzes never know what to do with him, he gets a jumble of results. 

The underclassmen have no idea who Oda is, but they know you should never bring him up around Dazai.

Lots of rumors circulating as to why he wears his bandages. 

Probably hides Kunikida’s glasses so he can’t see the board. 

Surprisingly good at writing, language arts is his best subject.

Kunikida Doppo: 

Constantly threatening to snitch on Dazai but never does. 

This audio. 

The kid that asks for clarification on assignments and ends up reminding the teacher that they meant to give homework. Doesn’t see the problem with it. 

Does. not. condone. bullying. He’ll push up his glasses and emotionally destroy the perpetrators before filing a fancy report to the faculty advisor. 

Keeps a planner notebook. Very meticulous and organized, he’s proud of it. 

Probably class rep. 

Takes way too many things way too seriously. 

Has never missed a deadline. Ever. 

Every single one of his pencils is somehow always sharpened and perfect. 

Strongly believes that wooden pencils are superior to mechanical ones. 

Good at math, but also art. He sees the canvas as a kind of graph, does particularly well with landscapes. 

Very serious about getting proper nutrients from what he eats and drinks throughout the day, he plans his lunches for the week ahead of time.

Does very well in debate class too.

Always perfectly in uniform, scolds Dazai when he has his tie loose or didn’t button up his blazer or something like that. 

Ranpo Edogawa: 

Does favors for people when it gets close to Valentine’s Day to make sure he’ll get some chocolates. 

Do I even need to say it- ALWAYS snacking in class. 

Coerces as much free food out of other students as possible. 

Eventually they pick up on his game and stop feeding him. 

Snitches on people flawlessly in the middle of class, the culprit fuming, the teacher dumbfounded. Maybe he can get away with snacks once in a while. 

When people ask him to help them study he usually just redirects them to Atsushi. 

That kid that’s always leaning his chair back way too far but never falls.

The faculty has basically given up on punishing him. After school detention?- more sleeping time. Extra homework?- doesn’t even break a sweat.

Knows exactly who is cheating on the test, gets offered bribes from both the students cheating so he doesn’t tell on them and the teachers who want to know who it is.

That one kid that just shoves looseleaf crumpled paper into their backpack, seems like they’ve never used a binder in their life. Somehow turns everything in just fine. 

Says he doesn’t have gum on him when he’s literally chewing a piece. 

Always goes and visits/annoys Fukuzawa when he can. Fukuzawa actually doesn’t mind and Ranpo enjoys getting to talk to his favorite teacher. 

Doesn’t even check the board when tests results come out, he already knows what he got, and can easily guess the others’ scores too. 

Most people couldn’t actually tell you what his eye color is. 

Fukuzawa is the only teacher Ranpo will actually take a lecture from seriously, the other administrators have to call him over when they need to scold the boy.

Atsushi Nakajima: 

The only one who did their part in the group project. 

Always offering to help the teachers, tutors other students, etc. etc.

An angel, really. Akutagawa is the only one able to make him upset. 

Extremely apologetic, would probably help the janitor clean up if he ever accidentally made a mess. 

Probably tried out for a part in a school production at least once. 

Turning heads from around the room when he reveals that he plays piano. 

So shy about it though, he probably didn’t even mean to say it. 

Dazai gave him a pep talk before his first performance. 

After that, he starts to come out of his shell in music class, does well in music theory too. 

Would literally die if he ever received a love letter or anything of the sort. 

Doesn’t like to share who his favorite teachers are out of fear of hurting their feelings. 

Definitely has a bond with at least one facilitator, is probably friends with the janitor and cafeteria cooks. 

Wouldn’t hesitate to give his umbrella to someone if it were raining after school.

Found a blue-eyed kitten on his walk home once. It’s his now, he kept it, and Dazai absolutely adores it. 

Always has index cards or post-it notes on him to quickly write something down or give someone a piece of information. 

Makes specific playlists for studying different subjects. 

Kyoka Izumi: 

When she entered school, there was a lot of talk about her past; it ranged from what happened to her parents to saying she’d kill you if you even looked at her. Became a social outcast. :(

As soon as Atsushi caught wind of the rumors, he immediately shut them down, jumping to her defense whenever he could.

Now she’ll death glare at anyone being mean to him. 

Doesn’t understand the concept of a school dance, she only went because the others seemed excited about it. 

Actually ended up having a great time, replaying the fond memories in her head the next day. 

A sucker for bunny keychains. She has the one on her phone, yes, but also a few on her backpack and maybe pencil pouch.

Atsushi gave one of them to her for her birthday, she doesn’t even know how he found out when her birthday is.

She refuses to allow her phone to be confiscated (for obvious reasons).

Doesn’t use it in class or when she’s not supposed to or anything like that, but if a teacher is having a particularly bad day and decides to try to take it from her, her grip is unassailable.

Fukuzawa knows what happened to her, so he usually steps in to diffuse the situation and get the teacher to let it go.

She finds watercolor time in art class pleasantly therapeutic. 

The only one who helps Atsushi with the group assignment. 

Fukuzawa’s favorite student. They get each other. 

Kenji Miyazawa: 

Literally every teacher wishes they had him in their class. 

His only issue is that he keeps forgetting you have to wear close-toed shoes to school, he can never remember to change them.

So many athletic teams want him to join them, but he remains loyal to the garden club. 

Has impressed the school nurse with his home remedies. 

Has (unknowingly) talked down a few fights. 

Smiles so brightly in his school photo every year. 

Does well in the environmental/botanical portion of science class. 

Incapable of holding a grudge. 

Really dislikes doing dissections. 

The meals he brings from home are the BEST- everyone always wants to try a bite. Kunikida has to shoo the others away so Kenji doesn’t give away his entire meal. 

One time at a school soccer match, Kenji was watching from the sidelines with some friends and one of the players kicked the ball his way. He got hit smack in the face and fell over, everyone thought he was out cold and was ready to call an ambulance, but he just stood up and brushed it off like it was nothing. His nose bled a little, but he assured everyone that he felt fine.

They had him checked out by the school nurse that day just to be sure. Yosano had a look at him too. 

Returns every single pen and pencil he borrows. 

Had never seen mechanical pencils before coming to Yokohama, was absolutely fascinated. 

Yosano Akiko: 

No one actually knows what the inside of her bag or locker looks like.

“When you first meet her and wonder why she’s single and now you’re three months into the relationship and you know why.” (No Yosano hate, I just feel like this has happened to people who thought she looked approachable at first glance). 

Keeps a hairbrush and bobby pins in her bag.

Checks every box, the prime example of that friend everyone needs. She’ll stick up for you, provide you with things you need, is really nice to talk to, gives AMAZING advice.

Some people are afraid of her, which is kind of fair. 

Hands-on learning experiments in science class are her favorite. 

Actually enjoys dissections. 

The butterfly clip is OFF LIMITS. Absolutely no one is allowed to touch it. 

Hardly ever has to use a calculator, she excels at quick mental math and long division problems. 

Completely prepared to perform CPR, the Heimlich maneuver, etc. at all times. 

I feel like she would keep houseplants on a shelf somewhere. Simple ones, dark leaves and pretty blossoms. 

Professor Mori, the psychology and human behavior teacher, is the only person in the entire school who can give her the chills. 

Has known she wants to be a doctor since the beginning of her school life. 

The teachers have tried to encourage her to at least consider creating a plan B, but she refuses. 

Probably critiques the school nurse and their methods so hard. “No, the gauze needs to be tighter than that if you actually want to stop the bleeding.” “Apply heat if you want the muscles to relax, not cold!” “Do you even know how to use an epi-pen?!”

I feel like Yosano can sing, she would probably do well in choir.

Could be persuaded to sing onstage for a school production if provided a good enough reason. I’m just saying it’s not completely off the table for her. 

Fukuzawa Yukichi:

The only student that knows his complete backstory is Ranpo, and he won’t tell anyone else because Fukuzawa pays him off with snacks in exchange. 

I could only really see him as a literary teacher.

One time he accidentally mentioned that he has a cat in class. Every student erupted into a series of exclamations and demanded pictures.

Now they get him cat-themed gifts on holidays and for his birthday, the man could not be happier. 

Naomi likes to come talk to him about random thoughts she has, things her brother does, she treats him like another one of her friends. 

Has the scariest serious voice, it’ll make any student shut their mouth. 

Likes to eat his lunches outside. 

Kyoka is his favorite student. Ranpo too, of course, but Fukuzawa and Kyoka hold a special kinship.

A handful of students can sense the mutual war between Fukuzawa and Mori, the psychology professor across the hall. (I considered anatomy or something like that for Mori, I just feel like psyche would be more fitting for him to actually teach). 

Fukuzawa and Mori are the faculty members that have been at the school the longest.

One time Atsushi brought Fukuzawa a warm turvis of his favorite tea because he “just looked a little tired yesterday” and that’s when he knew that he would be keeping his job for a long time. 

Always cooks his own meals and brings them for lunch, would rather die than have to survive off of instant ramen or something like that. 

His class is the only one ever completely behaved during the fire drills. 

[interdimensionalpancakes]

my pov based on ep. 8 of "queen of tears"

*spoilers below if you haven't watched up to ep. 8 of queen of tears*

*you have been warned*

crying for the fifth time this week watching this series.

I am so wrecked. Like I get both sides and how they've hurt each other, this drama has done the unexpected and I LOVE THAT.

To me, I understand hyun-woo's reasons at first, but I feel like hae-in's suffering was heavier.

Hae-In was abused by her family too, probably worse. So much to the point that she didn't feel like she deserved to live after her older brother died and even more so with her own BIOLOGICAL mother basically blamed her for her brother's death, not letting her to learn how to grieve properly. That even her own unborn child's death, she wasn't able to grieve properly telling herself to "not cry," because she felt like she didn't deserve to feel sad, is the cruelest aspect of her suffering.

Hae-In was presented as the typical, cold, rich wife. In a way, we all wanted to root for hyun-woo to divorce her, but learning about how her memories of hyun-woo are cotton candy and rose colored little moments (the umbrella, the aquariuam, the visit to his hometown, the bus stop) and how she never wanted to make him suffer broke me. In comparison, Hyun-Woo viewed her coldly in his memories, even if they were pretty happy (with the exception of the field of flowers ig).

The way she cried and reacted to learning that he wanted to divorce her was very telling. To him, it was easy, he can always start over. For her, he was an anchor. She viewed him as the companion who would never take advantage of her emotionally or over money. I don't think she was upset just about the divorce, but the fact that he pretended to love her, concealing the fact, that it made her scared to trust him. She doesn't know whether his actions are obligatory or sincere.

Granted, both sides should have communicated better. But I'd like to point out that Hae-In appreciated the small gestures, she noticed the small acts of kindess, while Hyun-Woo focused on her external facade.

Both of them are in love with each other still, it's evident, but I can't help but feel so betrayed with Hae-In over the betrayal, because imagine suppressing your sadness so you don't burden the people around you, enduring your mother's harshness/ being punished for marrying for love, learning you're dying in three months to which there is no cure and learning that the only person who you can count on to be your supporter, your husband, never loved you during your lowest moment of your life. That would break anyone's spirit tbh.

Now, I'm not going to pick a side bc we're only half way through, but this is how to feel atm.