#hell is going ON with. average human adult

[bbqhooligan]

qm i always gonna be out of the loop wih the rest of the human population. cuz of the. cuz of the years spent in a frozen state inside my mind

[bohemiandeer]

You know what hits me hard? When 5 to 6 year old children, all the way in Southeast Asia, knows about what's happening in Palestine right now. That children their age is getting bombed, that they're starving to death, that they're getting shot at, and sniped in the head. Because, just this past 2 or so months, I heard some of the little ones in the Kindergarten classes I'm TAing in as an Intern talk about it. Hell, one of the little boys downright said he didn't like Israel, because Israel is bad, because they do scary things. Another was questioning whether Palestine was bad too, because, "why else would they shooting at them?". A little girl in one of my classes doesn't want to finish her food at all, because she wants to save at least half her meat and rice for kids in Palestine, because she heard that, they don't have food. And that's just the ones I remember. Namely the inciting cases before their classmates slowly follow suit. The littles are fricking SCARED. We had to sit these kids down, and tell them that the topic is too mature for them at the moment, that they shouldn't even be concerned because they're KINDERGARTNERS, they're not even old enough to properly understand. The one teacher I was TAing for had to make a class announcement saying that. What gets me is, these are 5 to 6 year olds, the youngest I've worked with in this specific age group is 4. 5 years old on average, and they've already been exposed to the worst horrors genocide has to offer through the news and snippets of conversation among adults and hell, considering how many of them say they like to play games on Mama's phone, or their IPad, even from fricking social media. And the fact that, these literal babies, from all the way in Cambodia, has more empathy in their entire body and soul, than full grown fricking adults have in the nail of their pinky finger, gets me. FFS we as adults could LEARN from them I feel sometimes. I honestly don't know what to feel about it anymore. On the one hand, this is the next generation I'm working with. And if the next generation's default response to a tragedy such as Palestine, is what I've seen come up on occasion so far? Perhaps there's some bloody hope for this world after all. At least in this country. Especially since a majority of them already come from families who survived a genocide. These are the 3rd - 4th generation descendants of those who survived the Khmer Rouge. They've got grandparents at home, who no doubt are more than intimately familiar with what Palestine is going through right now. And it shows.

But on the other, it makes my heart sink because these are CHILDREN, these are LITTLE KIDS, they should be playing with their toys and watching cartoons and talking to their friends about everything from Spiderman to Speakerman to Kuromi and her friends, and be worried about whether or not they can go to playground that day, guranteed they're well behaved, or if Mama remembered to pack in their costume for swimming lessons that week. NOT JUST MY KIDS. But the little ones in Palestine too. They deserve better. They all deserve, so much better. Hell, it's come to the point that whenever I look at my kiddos right now, whether they'd be working in class, playing, doing something as mundane as eating lunch or getting ready for their nap. I think of the children their age in Palestine that didn't even get the chance to survive. I think of the ones whose memories from this age, is nothing but absolute horror and pain, rather than what has slowly become my normal, who never got to experience what my littles do on a daily basis right now.

Children shouldn't even be concerned about "War", about a Genocide. The last thing that should be on a 5 year old's mind, is pain, and suffering, and the worst horrors imaginable ever to be inflicted on a human being. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S INFLICTED, ON OTHER CHILDREN THEIR AGE. And for that alone, the world has failed them. Especially the kids in Palestine who didn't ask for any of this. They just wanted to carry on with life as kids do, the same way as my littles do on a daily basis no doubt, learning, playing, chatting with friends over their favourite cartoons and characters, worrying about whether they'd get to go to the playground or not that day.

I apologize for talking about this on this blog. I know my blog tends to be lighter in feel, a lot more unhinged and light hearted typically. I mean, I'm just a fricking nerd who likes to draw and write, and lurk about her favourite fandoms to consume and support what is shared among other nerds who also like to draw and write. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. About contemplating it, especially since I'll be back on a roll tomorrow, working with my kiddos again after not seeing them for 5 days straight because of Holidays. And, I just had to talk about it. This is something I felt I couldn't keep to myself this time, I don't think my soul'd be able to carry it. I had to talk about it.

FREE PALESTINE. Our children deserve better.

[that-punk-adam]

This is not at all a new take on life here in the US of A however I feel as though I will peel my skin off if I don’t say it;

People are seeing death as a valid option to the current state of the world + the future and now I am fully understanding why.

There is no more ‘village’. There are no reliable social safety nets installed that are realistic or easy to access. You H A V E to drive EVERYWHERE if you’re even able to drive. If your area has a bus it has to fight on the road with every other driver. To get 9 miles away from point A to B takes 2 hour out of your day. No one is hiring or they are paying minimum wages for you to run their whole circus operation damn near by yourself. Average 1 bedroom apartments are $1.1k a month for 500 sqf and if you SOMEHOW get a roommate and get them to agree to split rent and utilities then y’all are going to battle for personal space. A 2 bed is out of the question bc there is no way in hell that you can save anything if you are spending more then half of your wages on rent. You want to go out and have a sense of what it means to be fulfilled as a human? Don’t even dream about it, you have your bills coming up.

Get a second or 3rd job? Wait… you were able to find one? They didn’t ghost? Lucky you; now you are better off & you can now sleep knowing that the 2nd job will be able to pay for the gas ($3+/gal), insurance (3X what it used to be but still making you open up ur wallet before they step in), and your car note! (Wayyy too much for a used).

What is fun? What are get togethers? What is a ‘cheap meal’? What’s a bucket list? What’s a vacation? What’s a hobby? Wait, you can afford to replace items and not get anxiety over it? You can afford more then an arm full of groceries?? Will you be able to retire by the time you’re 60 with enough money in the bank to not just exist, but to do the things you’ve always wanted to do during those working decades? What will elder and death care look like? Will your children be able to not live in poverty?

We as young people are seeing death as a valid option because we know we will NEVER see an adult life like those before us prior to the 90’s. Starting a family or adding on to your family will put you in poverty. Buying a house if you’re fortunate enough will put you in poverty. Renting will put you in poverty. Working more jobs will put you in poverty. Having a car will put you into poverty, not having one will keep you from ever getting one. We will just work and work to never ever have anything to show for it. This is not the lifestyle that I’d doom more life to do for the rest of their lives. Something’s gotta change sooner rather then later and it’s gotta be grass roots. We have to be willing to break some rules to get to where we need to be.

Things. Must. Change.

[midnightsunnyday]

Whips, Cuffs, And Edible Thongs? (Part One) '*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'

A/N: so does anyone (over the age of 21, obviously) browse adult toys with their friends? Is that just me? Well, yesterday my friends and I went to a toy shop for the hell of it and laughed at the improbably large and adorably small um, "items" they had on display, and in between our playful banter, for some reason I got the crazy thought to make a headcanon about it.

Warnings: obviously NSFW and MDNI. Mentions of various kinks, sex toys, and cursing. MC is in a polyamorous relationship with all the brothers btw. Definitely a crack headcanon.

*MCs overly dramatic monologue begins*

It was a risk, coming here alone, yet the reward would be worth the treacherous journey. I left the House of Lamentation under the cover of dusk, dawned in my best disguise. I stayed low, keeping shadows close. I snuck through alleys, crept down streets, jumping, paranoid. I could trust no one. Rely on no one. For this was a mission I must tread alone.

Finally, my destination was in view. The shop was not unlike the others surrounding it, except for the black and pink sign offering something a bit more...stimulating. I grabbed the handle, pushing slowly, only to be washed in a flood of pink neon and the scent of roses.

"Welcome to Cleo's Circle, hun. Tell me, what's your pleasure?"

MC: um, well you see, it's kind of my first time here. Not my first time in this kind of store, but for demons. Not that there's anything wrong with being a demon but I um...I'm just a bit embarrassed.

"Oh sweetie, you just hush those silly fears. Now, I'm not too keen on human culture, but this is the Devildom. Things like shame and sin are like a tick on a six-horned goat's ballsack."

MC: so...worthless then?

"You got it, sugar."

MC: ok, well in that case *looks around* I think I'd like to look at--

Asmodeus: --everything you've got in stock!

MC: fucking...Asmo? What the hell are you doing here? 

Asmodeus: *gasps dramatically* honestly, it's like you don't even know me! Are you really asking why I, Asmodeus, Avatar of Lust, would patronage a sex shop?

MC: hmm. Fair point.

*clicks her tongue* "Asmo."

Asmodeus: oh, well if it isn't my favorite little kitty Mynxie.

Mynxie: you know, I didn't realize that "I'll call you later" meant six months from now.

Asmodeus: oh Mynxie, you just have to understand. When one is as renownedly known and loved as me you can't possibly recall every single, little lover you've had, right? 

Mynxie: that right, huh? Well in that case, I also might fail to account for that little 80% discount at checkout and charge your ass full price.

Asmodeus: *gasps* you wouldn't?

Mynxie: oh, I would.

MC: maybe I should come back some other time. 

Mynxie: oh no, don't go! See what you've made me go and do? You're making my customers uncomfortable *clears throat* Forgive me for mixing business with pleasure. All are welcome and made to feel comfortable here in Cleo's Circle. As a sexual education succubus and proud business owner, it is my sworn duty to ensure it.

MC: wow. Those are...some words you just said. Well, then I suppose I'll look around.

Mynxie: if you need anything just ask.

MC: ok. And actually, it's probably best that you're here too, Asmo. I actually wasn't sure what to do.

Asmodeus: oh sweetie, of course! Why didn't you tell me you wanted to explore your kinkier side sooner? I would've gladly shown you every single thing you needed to know. Oh, but um...just so you know, this isn't one of my usual outings.

MC: what does that mean?

Asmodeus: so...promise you won't get mad, ok?

MC: why would I get--

Mammon: --sup.

MC: FUCK.

Mammon: oh no. Ain't none of that happening while I'm here.

Beelzebub: hey, MC. Oh. Is that candy?

Belphegor: Beel, no.

Satan: so this is why you were ducking behind every dumpster in the Devildom. For a moment I thought you were mimicking a frightened raccoon.

Leviathan: *in a very convincing announcer voice* By day they're an average RAD student just trying to survive, but by night they're a crime-fighting, bondage-wearing vigilante saving the day with whips...and love.

Mammon: this ain't one of the plots to one of your low-budget hentai movies, Levi!

Leviathan: oh? And how do you know what hentai is, hmm?

Belphegor: looks like he got you there, Mammon.

Mammon: s-shut up!

MC: please don't have Lucifer. Please don't have Lucifer. Please don't have Lucifer.

Satan: be careful. I heard that if you chant his name five times he'll appear and lecture you to death.

Mammon: but nah, that buzz kill ain't here. Went to some fancy upper-echelon party with Lord Diavolo.

MC: thank Diavolo.

Satan: indeed.

MC: so then why are you all here?

Mammon: invite only. We may be avatars, but Lucifer is the avatar. Pff, whatever. I'm way cooler than him anyway.

Belphegor: plus, we saw you sneaking around and thought hey, that looks like a fun way to spend one's Saturday. Let's follow them.

Satan: but we didn't expect you to end up...here. Even so, why hide such a thing from us?

MC: because it's embarrassing! Why would I want you all with me buying sex toys?

Mammon: cause we're fun?

Belphegor: because it's hilarious?

Asmodeus: because we can help you find a good one?

Leviathan: that and it's not really that embarrassing.

MC: huh?

Asmodeus: we're demons sweetie, not prudes. We wouldn't judge you for this.

Beelzebub: what if we all brought something? That way, no one feels embarrassed.

Mammon: um, Beel. You realize what you're asking, right?

Mynxie: well, this is all good and heart-warmin' but are y'all gonna buy something? You're crowding up my store and frankly scaring the poor dear.

MC: thank you, um, Mynxie?

Mynx: it's just Mynx. Mynxie if you're naughty.

MC: ok, so then Mynx, I appreciate your consideration, but...I'm ok with them here. 

Mynx: are you sure, hun? Cause I can kick them out if you need your privacy. Avatars or not, I know my way around a metal pipe.

MC: I'm sure. They can stay.

Asmodeus: yay!

Mynx: ok then. Let me know if you need any help. As for you all *pulls out a pipe and slams it on the counter* no funny business.

Everyone: yes ma'am.

Mynx: that's madam. Now, y'all be good, ok?

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

How they react to finding out you're an animal lover

Based on the actual Zoo's worth of pets, I acquired.

Let's assume somehow there's a scenario where the Hazbin Characters are able to see your life on earth, to review what might have gotten you sent to Hell. As far as most of them were concerned, you may have been chaotic, maybe you jumped to violence quickly (it's Hell though so defending yourself is important), maybe you drank or used drugs or slept around, but not to an extent that would warrant Hell.

And it's not that you aren't capable of being friendly or nice, but you're always wary of new people. You seem uncomfortable in large groups and tend to stick to people you know and unfortunately have Resting Bitch Face, so aren't very approachable.

So imagine their reaction to seeing your life and noticing from a young age your obsession with animals. You watched Animal Cops instead of Cartoons as a kid (and boy, your little brain sure got creative when imagining how best to punish [torture] animal abusers. Even Alastor's impressed by the level of violence). You begged and cried for a pet your whole childhood and did your best with the fish you got or the guinea pigs, though poor misinformation from adults and lack of proper husbandry being available in easily accessible media meant that your setups were....lackluster. And boy did you literally sob over that as an adult.

Every animal you met, horse, snake, cat, dog, rabbit, rodent, lizzard, frog, fish, they were all met with the brightest smile, a gentle cooing voice, happy baby talk, you getting on their level to coddle and and pet. The total opposite of your response to people.

Alastor

He's never been a big fan of dogs, especially after his death. But watching you with the numerous dogs you owned, the bond you shared with them, how they weren't perfectly trained but you tried so hard, and they all lived such long happy lives, he thinks he would have tolerated it. Especially your first dog, a small yappy thing that was wonderfully trained to do many tricks using just hand signals. Watching you shut down, breaking into billions of pieces when that dog died is probably the closest his smile has come to dropping.

Cats though, Alastor adored cats and you, despite being allergic, took in every feline in need. Even ones with health issues. You shelled out your hard earned cash left and right and the once ratty, crusty, scrawny, timid, strays blossomed into sleek, healthy, playful cats. He's going to laugh at all the curse words that arise from the various shenanigans that come with owning cats though.

As for your snakes, he's not phased. He isn't particularly fond of them, but he isn't scared either. But he could listen to you gush for hours about genetics, morphs, breeding, and proper set ups. He liked your bearded dragon though. Would get one for you if he could.

His favorite though was your rats. The quartet of rodents that were as smart as human toddlers and as likely to get in trouble. Watching you build and construct cardboard play structures, teach them tricks, feed them all sorts of fruits, veggies, meat, grains, insects. The constant cleaning and remodeling of their cage to entertain them. Oh you clearly adored them. Especially since they lived longer than their average 4 year expectancy by a whole year, with the exception of one rat that had been born ill but he still lived to by nearly 3!

All in all he just thinks you're precious, is amused by your entirely sincere and intensely violent response to abusers, and admires your caring nature and dedication (it reminds him of his ma, working hard to shell out every penny to ensure he thrived). He's probably considering getting you a pet.

Charlie

Heart eyes! You're so soft and cuddly with your pets! So patient with them, even when they're still adjusting, scared and prone to biting. You take every bite, scratch, hiss, growl, and in cases like snakes and turtles musking, in stride. Sure you flinch but your tone stays calm, you relax quickly, adjust your approach.

The way your eyes water and light up when the black cat with a stiff limp and crusted eyes, and swollen cheeks finally approaches you instead of hiding behind the water heater in your basement after you managed to trap it in indoors melts her heart. The way you have to visibly control yourself when you pet it for the first time and then finally lift him into your arms to take upstairs where the heat works and you aren't relying on a space heater and old blankets to warm him.

She's not thrilled about your violent tendencies, but they also remind her of Vaggie. Your protective and have strong feelings about injustice and she admires that.

She's definitely asking you to watch Kiki more often.

Angel Dust

Another proud pet parent! He gets you. Animals are so much easier than people. He loves watching you dress your pets that would tolerate it and take them to get pictures done, sending them to family members like you would send pictures of your kids. And hey, they essentially are! He's gonna ask you to dress up Fat Nuggets with him and do a photo shoot!

He's not a fan of rodents, but you're rats, and the hamsters were cute. He thinks he'd be ok with them if he met them, may even enjoy them.

Really liked watching your fish tank though once you got older and had more understanding and were able to set up a proper one. Even when things went wrong like algae blooms, fish fighting, your $35 betta beaching itself on your crabs basking platform, you were determined, and eventually you get a nice little live planted tank going that's mostly self sufficient and some fish that breed. You never quite mastered the algae issue, but it never overran your tank again, so he considers it a win. It's just cute watching you try so hard and dedicate so much time too it.

Lucifer

You're literally his spirit animal. He would rather be around animals than people, too. And honestly, you're right, animal abusers are the worst and he's probably taking notes from you on fitting punishments. He is trying to be more active as a ruler of Hell now.

He thinks you're incredibly smart for learning and memorizing so much about animals at such a young age and that you learn more as you get older, keeping up with proper care techniques. Kinda shocked you didn't become a vet, but also gets it. He doesn’t think he could handle having to let an animal down either. Or deal with stupid owners.

Gets heart eyes when he sees your obsession with snakes and is genuinely sad for you when your small collection of them dies off. Reptiles are hard, even professional keepers can have snakes die for seemingly no reason, so it's not anything you did, but it still sucks that within a 16 months you lost both your corn snakes and then a 8 or 9 months later your ball python.

He's the Serpent of Eden so anytime you had a snake draped around her neck, coiled around your wrist or arm, anytime they slithered under your shirt or up your pant leg while holding them is giving him inappropriate ideas. If you're someone with sensory stim needs and you loved the feeling of snake scales on your skin he'll offer to be one for a while (he's gonna go in your shirt and probably just coil around your waist or your chest, maybe rest his head on your shoulder peeking out of your shirt, blepping).

He's also sad that you can't see your beloved pets now since you're in Hell and it makes him even more bitter towards Heaven. Your beloved pets deserved to be reunited with an owner who gave them everything they could and you deserved to see the furry little wonders that got you through your darkest times. He can't imagine how much pain you were in when you realized you wouldn't see them again.

Is determined to get you a pet and find a way to reunite you with yours.

Husk

Was never big on pets before, but he thinks yours are cute. He may let you pet his ears more often now and be more comfortable purring around you. If it helps you feel better since it's obvious you miss your little furballs.

The entire time they're watching your life play out your eyes are glued to your pets, eyes misty, and smile adoring. It's more of a highlights reel so you're constantly babbling over it telling story after story. You mention how pissed you were tattoos didn't show up when you died because you had every pet you ever owned's (with the exception of ones you had really young), pawprint tatted on you when you died, staring with the rat tail and feet at your ankle and the top of your foot all the way up your leg, hip, side, so many of them it looked like a zoo walked across your body.

He misses having that kind of enthusiasm and devotion to something and admires you for being able to so deeply love and care for your pets despite what you've been through.

He maybe feels a little inspired himself to open up a bit more.

Vox

He grew up when a wife, two kids, a dog, and a white pickett fence was a standard, but you go beyond that. Animal care has gotten so much more detailed since he was alive. Aside from his sharks, especially Vark, he doesn’t really know much about pets, though.

He loves your commitment to trying to keep a fish tank, but he is going to critique you. He probably will get you one and help you set it up, a nice, moderately sized 50 gallon. It's something you two can bond over.

Watching you step between two dogs about to get into a fight because their owners were drinking at the dog park and didn't pay attention nearly gives him a stroke though. But you effortlessly snag an 80 pound mutt and lift them up and pivot, using your arms and legs to corral that dog back towards the fence and keep yourself between them while someone else snags the other dog. Once both dogs can't see each other anymore and you have effectively redirected their attention to the treats you brought, using a stern, sharp voice to direct it to sit, the dogs settle. He can visibly see you seething as the guy gets up, uncaring, and leashes his dog to leave the park.

Also thinks it adorable when watches you pull over and dart across a highway to get a turtle out of the road. Or to get a baby bird out of the street once it's been pushed from the nest. Watches you circle back to watch dogs you see wandering the neighborhood to see if they're lost. You approaching gently and sweetly, not even remotely upset when they startle and you nearly get bit. You apologized to the dog for spooking it.

Really, he just thinks you're cute and have no self-preservation and doesn't think a dog or cat would do well in the tower, but lizzards and fish are ok, and you two bond over the fish tank.

Valentino

So if that whole thing about him getting one of the little insect dogs and then shooting it within a day thing is still canon, he's probably lowkey afraid for his life right now. There's just something about watching an year old version of you say you might wanna be an animal cop so you can shoot bad people with such a serious face. Listening to teenage you threaten two boys who had joked about pouring chemicals on a cat with jamming an anti-freeze bottle down their throats and water board them with it. Or offer to toss puppy mill breeders in a cage too small, no ac, no heat, no food, no water, naked and in their own filth while walk by them every day. He can't even repeat the threats you made against dog fighters or cock fighters. He's pretty sure Satan, prince of Wrath himself, is scared of you. How does a 13 year old come up with shit that twisted?! Like maybe you're in Hell for a reason you fucking psycho.

But! Assuming that's not true, I think Valentino wants to be a cat person. He thinks they're elegant and fashionable. But watching yours he realizes if you're lucky they're snuggly, mischievous, trouble makers who even without trying can and will fuck shit up. If you're not lucky, their terrorists that get into everything, bite you for attention then run off when you pet them, get hair everywhere, are literally so fucking messy, and somehow are both incredibly smart and incredibly stupid. Like smart enough to open doors and drawers and plastic treat containers, dumb enough to run into a window or jump in the dryer.

Honestly, he is shocked to learn that he's a snake/rodent kinda guy. Literally, the snakes are so pretty, have such smooth textures, and yeah, they can be derpy, but he thinks they're kinda hot. Like the image of you, the four-foot ball python draped around your neck and chest. Or some of your bigger five and six foot snakes. He likes the idea of maybe doing like a naked photo shoot with the snake wrapped around you. (HE AND LUCIFER SHOULD NOT SHARE KINKS BUT HERE WE ARE).

Personality wise, hyper, gets into things he shouldn't, bored easily, needs attention or gets depressed and stressed, too smart for his own good but too dumb to get himself out of trouble. This man is a rat/ferret. Whatever irony made him a moth demon is dumb. He would have adored the little fuckers. Maybe not by himself, he doesn’t have the time or attention span to dedicate to them alone, but with your help caring for them and playing with them, he'd be great.

In general I don't think Val is the kinda of person who would get a pet for himself or should have one, but if you're helping and it makes you happy he'll do it. He got Angel one after all.

[spacebarbarianweird]

Astarion Pre-Vampirism Headcanons

Our collaboration with @themadlu

Masterlist

Headcanons

I have a very weird idea about Astarion's origin but bear with me.

What if Astarion, a High Elf himself, was born to half-elven parents?

Look, he doesn't look like a Forgotten Realms elf. He is pretty tall - 5.9 is above average for a Tel'Quessira. His body type is also too masculine since male elves tend to be very slender. His name is "baby" meaning ("Little Star") but adult in form (elven baby names are usually monosyllabic). Besides, there are almost no elves in Baldur's Gate, let alone, upper-class ones.

But there are plenty of half-elves.

Let's say, genetics work in Forgotten Realms the same way it works in the real world.

Half elves are of mixed race - so, a pair of half elves can have a human or an elf. And this is a very sad scenario, given the difference in life expectancy. Humans born to half elves grow old and die while their parents are still relatively young, and the elf is completely cut out of elven culture and never fits in with their kin.

And it explains why no one was looking for Astarion. Because his family is long-dead.

Two hundred years ago the Ancunins became parents.

They are half-elves in their third generation and none of them have ever seen a pure-blood Tel'Quessira let alone knowing details about their culture.

They name the newborn boy Astarion - the name elven in form but human in meaning.

He is indeed their "little star" - half-elves inherit their ancestors' low fertility and children are seen as gifts from gods rather than a burden.

The Ancunins notice their son has long ears and it seems like he doesn't sleep - instead, Astarion lies motionless for a few hours and then starts talking about places and people his family has no idea about.

Astarion is a High Elf.

The human ancestry doesn't manifest in him - though, he still grows taller than elves are supposed to.

And hells, he is ambitious.

He knows he has centuries of life ahead - and he doesn't want to spend them in his hometown.

Astarion dreams of Baldur's Gate - a huge city on the Sword Coast.

His parents reluctantly let him go. They are 150 years old and don't have much time left.

Besides, if he spends thirty or forty years beside them it will change nothing. He is an elf. He has all the time in the world.

But Astarion can't even make himself spend another day in that wretched hole of a place.

He leaves to never return.

Despite the lack of money and connections, he manages to become a magistrate.

Unfortunately, you can't make a career like that without making enemies.

The Gurs, a nomadic tribe, are notorious trouble makers and the citizens demand the authorities to get rid of them.

Astarion doesn't pay much attention to the matter and he fails to realize other magistrates want him to do the dirty job.

The Gurs live up to their traditions. Whoever makes them go will become their enemy.

Astarion becomes one in their eyes.

Lying in the empty street, bleeding to death, he remembers his hometown and his elderly parents.

He would do everything to return, to survive, to live.

And when a dark figure approaches him and makes an offer, Astarion agrees.

He doesn't know the price of his survival yet.

And what is yours HCs on Astarion's origin? Reblog and write your own ideas!

[gallusrostromegalus]

so if Yachiru Kusajishi is older than Shinji and still looks like a small child, while Tetsuzaimon Iba grew up from in utero to a full adult while the Vizoreds were in the living world, what determines the rate of maturation for a particular soul in AEIWAM?

Short Version: Hell is Clogged, and the Demons are desperately trying to keep powerful souls OUT until there is room for them, AND trying to yank powerful souls in ASAP when an opening becomes available, and this makes Powerful Souls age funny.

Slightly more complex version:

So in AEIWAM, the Exit from Hell is currently being blocked by God's Dismembered Ass.

This means that there is an ENORMOUS Queue of Perfectly Reformed Souls trying to get out, and there *is* a constant steady trickle of souls out of Hell, but Nowhere near enough, and worse, once a soul is reformed, it doesn't give off spiritual energy to feed the Life Machine anymore.

So Hell is in the VERY Precarious Position where they NEED powerful souls to enter Hell so they can off-gas spiritual power to keep the machine that generates reality going, but if they get too many too strong souls too fast, they risk blowing a hole in the side of the hell dimension and, ah.

Well, All Hell breaking Loose.

So the demons in Hell are constantly making complex calculations about who actually get to enter- Souls that have good Karma, even if they're powerful are typically booted to the Spirit World until there's an opening (like a former captain finally returning to baseline power and reincarnating), and Souls with Bad Karma but not much spiritual power can get sent to the afterlife they don't actually deserve because they're so far back in the triage. At the same time, they're constantly giving extra life force, get-out-of-death-free cards and other chicanery to exceptionally powerful souls to keep them "alive" until there's room.

...And also yanking them down the SECOND there's an opening to fill because they absolutely cannot let the Life Machine's battery get any lower.

This power-scramble is responsible for a lot of Bizarre Aging and Dying Phenomena:

Tetsuzaimon Iba was born, aged at a normal human rate until his 26th birthday and then just. Stopped. This happened to his mother too. She's been 29 for 342 years now. That's not the only form of Delayed Aging that hits Spiritually powerful people: Some people just age at a slow but consistent rate- 1 year for every 5 lived is pretty common for rank-and-file shinigami. Yamamoto had gone through several slowdowns- as a young man he was aging 1-for-10, but once he founded Soul Society it slowed to 1-for-25 and ever since The Divorce he seems to have stopped aging at 'A Ridiculously Ripped 80-something'.

Hisana Kuchiki was struck down with Sudden Incurable Wasting when one of the smaller power slots opened up and a Demon tried to pull her in with a quick accident and accidentally caused her to *linger*. The Demon is PROFOUNDLY sorry, takes very good care of Hisana down there, and lives in terror of the day Byakuya gets down there and kicks it's ass.

Demons are not actually malicious, though they can be really unpleasant. Demons are essentially the Social Workers of the Wheel of Samsara, helping damaged or dangerous souls become better people before they reincarnate. The relationship between the average soul in Hell and their assigned demon ranges approximately from 'your benevolent and genuinely helpful therapist' to 'your overworked and jaded parole officer'.

The exception is for souls with good karma that are there to vent power- A Demon assigned to one of those cases is essentially the Soul's Personal Assistant/babysitter to make sure the soul doesn't break anything down there. "Shinigami Supervisor" is a DEEPLY coveted position in hell- You get all the spiritual sustenance you can handle, very little paperwork, AND you get to have fun adventures with a cool person who (largely) has their shit together! So the competition for the Next Opening is ferocious. Shinigami scientists have noted that there is often an uptick in seismic activity, the appearance of hot springs, and unusually hot weather all over the living and spirit worlds in the month leading up to the death of a Captain or other powerful soul, but aren't sure why. The reason is Demon Job Promotion Thunderdome, held in the time leading up to the 'retirement' of a captain or other powerful soul as they finish giving off all the power they can to the Life Machine and enter the reincarnation queue.

The utterly crackheaded "returned to life" science used to bring back Rose, Kensei and Matsumoto during TYBW only worked because a pack of Demons on the other side were MAKING it work.

Mayuri is actually an escapee from Hell that WAS aging drastically fast (he looked 32 when he was 14) because the demons were trying to reign him back in, but he learned just enough about life-force management from his internment in Hell to keep himself alive(ish) and Hale (Kinda).

Most of the souls in Soul Society age normally, and the indicator that you DO have spiritual power is that you 1. Age slower than anticipated and 2. feel EXTREME levels of hunger. (Frankly, nothing about 'souls don't feel hunger' makes sense. It'd be a post-scarity society if that was the case, not feudalism. Nearly all Souls in AEIWAM feel hunger a normal amount, but those who would make good shinigami feel 'I will eat drywall or carrion to stop the cravings' levels of hunger).

One of the things that happens before you become a seated officer in the Gotei-13 is that your captain is supposed to take you aside and explain that the reason an officer's commission pays so well and takes care of so much is that if you take it, you are at DRASTICALLY higher risk of going to Hell when you die. If you become a Lieutenant, it's all but guaranteed. It's not the office that grants it per se- but one you're a seated officer, you WILL be exposed to situations that will make you grow as a person and become a stronger fighter and thus, a more powerful spirit. maybe you'll squeak under the power limbo bar, but understand that that's a risk.

The reason Shinigami can't assign people to at least the same district their relatives are in is that assignment is done by Hell- it's determined by "area of lowest ambient spiritual power in spirit world at the EXACT time you die" and you HAVE to go there. It does help alleviate the pressure in Hell by a significant amount, and if you move districts after arriving in your assigned one it doesn't cause a problem. It's only recently that Soul Security Numbers have been introduced, and your ancestors can opt to put in their address if you want to look them up when you cross over.

Yachiru however, is an unusual case. She's one of the slowest-aging people in Soul Society (aging approximately 1 year for every 50 lived), but it's not the contrivance of Hell. There's actually a lot of Wailing and Gnashing of teeth about Yachiru in Hell, because she's actually got a case of Secondhand Deification from her father, and frankly, Hell doesn't know what it's going to do with either of them.

[brothermoth]

Some of y'all are grown ass fucking adults who didn't pay attention in English class and make it OUR problem now. No, somebody is not a bad person for liking a villain character. Human morality is not black and white like that, and all you are doing is stripping writers of our chance to make you think for once in your goddamn life. Antagonists play a role more than antagonizing. They're meant to tell you something about yourself, about the world, about relationships.

Just because I think a character is interesting will never ever mean I condone or agree with the things they do. It's fiction, in real life I would despise them, but because they're not real I can toy with them in Google docs like a little puppet. This is not the 1600s anymore where you're terrified to make one wrong move lest you be sent straight to hell do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars.

If you're going to be an avid consumer of media, at least learn how to analyze it. Don't be reactionary xitter users, please?

--this is about red dead redemption I'm sorry--

BUT Micah is a bad person. We all agree. We shan't defend the things he does or believes because despite being unfortunately average opinions of the time, his actions do little but hurt the people around him.

YET he's just some guy, at the end of the day. He's a reflection of Arthur, of who he could potentially have been if his father hadn't been hanged and had kept him around. Arthur has the same potential to be Micah as Micah has to be Arthur. Hell, his brother left and started a family, he could've done so as well. The game is about choice. It's about actively choosing to do the right thing, even if the right thing is a bit questionable sometimes. You cannot in good faith aim your staunch moral opinions toward this game. You miss so much nuance and important conversation that the writers wanted you to have. Arthur isn't some golden retriever good boy, he's done terrible things and acknowledges that. He beat a man with a terminal illness to death over like thirty bucks, and he thought nothing of it until he got sick himself. Arthur had his chances to leave too, but he dug his heels in the same as Micah did, he refused to take that opportunity and resigned himself to being a violent arm of the gang.

Kill the puritan worms in your brains guys. Please. Use the thinking meat, that's what it's there for.

[scribe-of-hael]

The Path to Hell is paved with good intentions

I think what is interesting is the drive that is the Autobots and Decpeticons. Mostly the cause of the Decpeticons and Megatron himself.

Alot of the time we see Megatron to be a crazy, battle hungry, warlord whos hel bent of causing destruction, conquering all in his path and who cares only about his goal to rule.

Over the years we have seen many version of Megatron. From silly goofy villain who's somtiems could acutally be a threat like in g1, to pash, cold, cunning like TFA, to being a crazy war lord who is incredibly cruel in TFP.

But these versions are mostly a Megatron who came from fighting, or had no good intentions to begin with besides being selfish or power hungry.

Then you have TFE and IDW/IDW2 (and possibly tf one). A different apprich to a character. Some may say its to make someone who has done cruel things as more sympathetic. But I think adds depth and personality.

Giving more than a crazy leader with silly goons, to a person who genuinely thought at the beginning, "I want things to change, for the better ,because it is broken"

Much howOptimus, the humble data clerk (hate he is a cop in idw tbh) and the hard working miner. Your everyday ppl, going through diffenrt struggles and honestly. I think woukd be fair to say that Orion wouldn't know the struggles of lower level bots that don't even have proper names..

Like D-16. The mech whis become Megatron.

Both Optimus and Megatron i think wnates to see a change , but how they both went about it i what added the conflict.

These two are basically your average everyday people. Megatron was an average everyday person. He wasn't born into the pits, net a warrior. A worker.

I think with alot of cartoon "villains" to we get older and started to see from a adult perspective. "Oh wait they are making sense." And how MESSED up the situation even was to drive these characters to this point.

Its no longer good vs evil, it is two ideals fighting aginst each other. What was once a fight for what these two sides believes in, turned into warfare and blood shed. To the mentality of Megatron being

"I can't trust anyone to right thing, besides me. I am the only one who can fix this, I can lead us."

You know what I could also see Optimus having the SAME mentality when comes to fighting megatron and restoring Cybertron. They are very much two sides of the same coin. I think that's what adds to the conflict between them. Optimus could be one bad day away from becoming Megatron onnthe sense of wanting to control the situation despite what costs just to not se Megatron when.

And you know he HAS done this. Yeeting the allspark for one to not let Megatron have ir but at the cost of Cybteron and its occupance. It was a loose loose situation regardless.

When it comes to alt-modist mentality, this high class vs low class, and the corruption of Cybertron. It is no wonder why so many people believes in the Decpeticon causes.

The reason why I clung so hard to Transformers Earthspark Megatron is because this was a break out from his character. To later learn it definitely took inspo from IDW who explored this character further sealed my admiration for him.

No one in the tf universe is less or more guilty. Both sides have done HORRIBLE things. Experimentation, brutality, killing innocence and their own soldiers just to get the won up. The autobots are not without their own blood shed. Only SOME of the autobots have a bit more regard for life and the planet they sit on. It doenst mean all of them do, and it doenst mean people within the groups around Optimus like it. But because they are painted as good guys we exapect them to.

Its when Decpeticons seem to take an interest in life do I find it way more compelling because it is out of their characteristics. They are the "bad guys"

Knockout being interested in Human cinema

Thundercracker being into writing and making movies

They are still PEOPLE. With interests and hobbies, internal conflicts and hesitations.

To see a Megatron not only fight aginst his own army , but take a human, a HUMAN as a friend that he TRUSTS?! That he gave up his Cybertronian already mode UP FOR?! Thats a bug FUCKING deal.

Just the contrast to TFW Megs to say TFP. Tfp depsite it beingbbetter for camouflage NEVER changes his alt mode. He is never willing to acutally change, he is so deeply rooted in what he is, who he is. What he is doing. That he is unwilling to change to the surroundings. No the surrounding will change BECAUSE of him.

While TFE realized a change was needed to fix things, to work together, to show I AM CHANGING, I WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

This is not a Slander Optimus rant or a WOW Megatron is such a great guy essay.

Was mostly me rambling.

[thebubblesareevil]

Slowing Down is Hard, but Necessary….

Part 1

Barry woke up in a cold sweat, his heart racing. That was…not normal.

It was always the same, him running and that…thing chasing him. So who was this new player? Barry shook his head and gently laid back down, careful not to wake his wife. If he was lucky he might get a little more-

He jumped right back out of his bed as his alarm starts blaring. He groaned but relented that he was an adult and he must do adult things.

He’d just have to figure out what this new development was tonight.

———-

After a full day of examining crime scenes, patrolling the city, and bantering with captain cold, all before being called to the watchtower to talk about the kids, Barry was exhausted to say the least. He nearly wept when his head hit his pillow. Iris laughed at his antics, but turned off the light and wrapped him in her arms with a kiss. ‘She was such a good wife what did he ever do to deserve this amazing human being’ he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

His eyes flew open as he was once more surrounded by waves of light. He needed to run. He paused, thinking of the teen from the night before.

So instead of running Barry let go of the iron grip he had on the speed force and walked, though staying vigilant, ready to run at the first hint that this “Phantom” was lying to him. Barry wasn’t sure how long he walked before he came across the floating teen.

True to his word he was, in fact, taking a nap. As someone who moves a mile a second, he understood the need for naps. Unfortunately he also knew that he was the only one who could answer his questions. So with great reluctance he grabbed the teens shoulder to wake him…. Only to be sucker punched by the teen.

Barry went flying, if nothing else the teen had one hell of an arm. He looked up to see the teen covering his mouth, trying his hardest not to laugh.

"S-Sorry, I'm t-trying not to laugh I-I swear." or at least he WAS because the teen immediately broke down is a fit of laughter. Barry took this time to get a better look at him. His skin had a kind of purple/blue tinge to it, so he definitely not human of course the massive fangs were a bit of a giveaway. He couldn't tell how big he was, as he was curled up in the air laughing but based on last time he wasn't too big. Barry coughed to get Phantom's attention once more.

"Sorry, I really needed that, its been a crazy day. Seriously though, didn't anyone ever tell you not to wake sleeping interdimensional beings? You're lucky I only hit you man." Phantom said, wiping away a nonexistent tear.

"Is that what you are?" Phantom shrugged.

"I guess? I mean technically. I'm not from the speed force, heck I'm only a part-time resident of the infinite realms, new job be damned."

Barry raised a brow "New job?"

"Not important. What about you? What kind of creature winds up in the speed force by accident?" Barry hesitated before answering.

"I'm a human, but I get my powers from the speed force." Phantom rolled over mid air (?) giving him a skeptical look.

"You're a human? With access to the speed force? You mean, when you were racing the road runner you were using the speed force, right?" Barry nodded.

"Dude, I hate to break it to you, but you're not human. Not anymore."

Barry froze, that can't be true. He looked at Phantom with anger clear on his face.

"You're lying." Phantom sighed, floating down closer to eye level, his face resigned.

"No, I'm not. I know you probably don't want to hear it but... humans can't survive the speed force. It's not possible. In order for you to be able to use the speed force the way you claim, your body would have to be changed irreversibly. Think about it this way, you took health right?" Barry rolled his eyes, but nodded. "If I remember correctly, a normal human heart has an average of, like, 80 BPM right?"

"Well yes but how do you know a humans-" Phantom cut him off.

"We'll get there, I promise. But first answer this, how fast does your heart beat?" Barry shook his head.

"The speed force-"

"Makes you faster, makes every part of you faster. CHANGES every part of you so it can go faster." Phantom rubbed the back of his neck. "Look I know this is a hard pill to swallow but... I've been there, it's not fun. Realizing something like this and having to face everyone around you, realizing no one around you could possibly understand. It's hard." Barry sat there in shock for a moment before fully taking in what he just said.

"You were human? And you went through this alone? Why... Weren't there any other metahumans to help you? The Justice League-" Phantom snorted.

"I'm sorry, the what league? What is that? Some kind of weird team name? It's baseball isn't it?" Phantom said with a laugh as Barry stood in shock.

"You don't know about the Justice League? The world famous team of superheroes?"

"Dude, what part of interdimensional being did you not get. The earth I'm from only has one hero, and I'm it." He said proudly, puffing out his chest. "Sure I had to die to get the job but, thems the breaks." he stated with a shrug. "By the way, you never did tell me who you are. Spill man, fair is fair." Barry stood there in a state of shock and horror.

This teen, this KID was his earth's only hero? He died?! Barry swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I'm Barry, Barry Allen, but my hero name is the Flash." Phantom nodded.

"Well Barry Allen it's nice to meet you. If we're gonna go all in here, my name is Danny Fenton, but like I told you before I go by Phantom." He said sticking out his hand. Barry took the offered hand.

"And hey, next time you wake me up from a nap, just shout. You're less likely to get a black eye." He snarked with a toothy (giant fangs, dear gods) grin.

Barry woke with a jolt, looking around to find what woke him, his heart beating fast (too fast) before he recognized the sound of his alarm. He hit snooze and laid back down.

"Danny, huh?"

@thegatorsgoose@hypewinter

[abyss-is-lame]

ZZZ headcanons part TWO: ships, sexualities, and pronouns edition

if you're just interacting to hate, dni with this post! (also there might already be canon ships, i have not finished the game yet) - Belle X Nicole: hear me out okay- 'barely hanging on business' owner x a girl in a bunch of debt, what could go wrong amirite? /ot These goobers are so painfully gay and trying to keep their relationship a secret, but literally EVERYONE knows they're together, and when they reveal the 'surprise' that they're dating, everyone's just like "whoa thats crazy i didn't know." Also they cause so much chaos - Anby X Nekomata: These little shits are my entire life force. Anby will go out of her way to make time in her schedule so she can go get food a sea food restaurant to give to Nekomata if Nekomata's hungry, no hesitation, will get anything her girlfriend desires. and Nekomata will pay her back by curling up on her lap and sleeping - Ellen {adult} X Rina: Ellen has anger issues and the only way to control her is Rina physically holding her back to stop her from starting fights lmao. Rina treats Corin like her daughter because of how fragile Corin is, and so Ellen has decided she's Corin's other mom. Why? idk - Wise: something about Wise radiates either violently gay, or aroace and i honestly can't tell. He/They - Belle: Omnisexual, loves everyone with a slight fem lean, is the kind of person to see a pretty person walking down the street and falling in love instantly. She/Xer - Billy: Gay. Just violently, violently gay. He/It - Anby: Questioning, can't tell if she likes women, men, both, or every gender, confused as hell. She/They/Xem - Nicole: Lesbian, average woman enjoyer and we stan cyber so very much. She/It/Cyber -Nekomata: Pan! she also hits people with pans if she so desires. She/They/It -Grace: Lesbian, also radiates insane girl energy and we love her for that She/Her -Koleda: Biromatic asexual, has absolutely 0 relationship experience. She/Claw -Ben: Aroace, doesn't really care about relationships much and isn't interested in having one. He/It -Anton: *jumps down from a counter* "I'M GAY" He/Him -Ellen: Disaster gynesexual. That's it. lmao- She/Fin -Rina: A bi ✨queen✨ fr She/Her -Corin: Questioning, is just trying to function like a proper human and doesn't have the ability to think about it too hard She/Her -Lycaon: Demisexual, is pretty cautious by nature and doesn't trust easily, likes every gender tho He/They/It -Soldier 11: Lesbian demisexual, has the fear instilled in her that dating without knowing someone very well will lead to betrayal. She/Her -Soukaku: Aroace, doesn't care about relationships just wants food. She/It

[skylark325]

Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint Read Through

Chapter 21-31

It dragged Han Myungoh into a tunnel by one of his legs.

>Good drag that bitch away

The nearest, Yoo Sangah, swung her spear but the situation got worse because Han Myungoh held onto her.

>Oh COME ON

The real villain is that boss istfg

Jung Heewon burst out, "Ah…I knew I was going to get cancer because of that uncle."

>lmao?

[The constellation 'Prisoner of the Golden Headband' resents this frustrating person.]

>Dude same

"If hyung was such a person, you wouldn't have saved me on the subway. I believe in you."

>I would kill for Gilyoung

To be mature and to be an adult were completely different things.

>THIS

i love how introspective dokja is

At that time, someone's voice was heard, "It is all because of Yoo Sangah-ssi!"

fucking hell

[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' hates the character 'Han Myungoh'.]

>Girl same

"Theft? Shit, don't talk bullshit! You should've just got in my car from the beginning!"

>what does that…what

"That…it keeps saying 'become Mother'…"

🫃?

The dark keeper pointed at Han Myungoh this time. "Kallitu!"

>OH

I’d argue dokja is more mother but whatever floats your boat demon

>Oh shit yeah no not dokja, the rich asshole is definitely mother

>demon mpreg CANON?

[The obsessive-compulsive constellations praise your readiness.]

>LMAO so real

"I'm not someone who kills easily." [The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' admires it!]

>No, you have a lying out of your ass policy

[The demon king 'Asmodeus' has put a terrible curse on the person who dealt the final blow!] [Final Blow: Han Myungoh]

>LETSGOOOOO

Love me some demon king curses

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' has recommended your scenario to Star Stream.]

>SP just like me fr

I grabbed the greasy hind leg and dug into the flesh. The juices ran from the flesh…I forgot to chew and closed my eyes.

>…is it bad that i wanna how it tastes

Suddenly, I looked up and met Yoo Sangah's eyes. Ha, Yoo Sangah came to her senses and suddenly cried out, "I'm pathetic."

>felt

[Ah, no, why is this thing here?] The alarmed Biryu shouted belatedly. [I-I-It was banned immediately after release!]

>warehouse issues man, you gotta fire your manager

>the novel is so much darker damn. i want to strangle those sexual predators

>heewon loml you’re so badass

Like a person who was born for murder, Jung Heewon killed and killed. If I cut off a man's arm, Jung Heewon stabbed his heart.

>so really he was helping her get more coins 🥹

[You have received 1,500 coins from the character 'Jung Heewon'.]

>did i mention i love her

[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' likes your companionship.] [The constellation 'Abyssal Black Flame Dragon' smiles slyly.]

>difference between a fujoshi and…whatever straight ship fans are called XD

Human physiology didn't stop even in a world like this. Lee Hyunsung also opened his mouth, "Ah, then I will go to the bathroom."

>ok but getting your period in a world like this would be my worst nightmare. like atp i might as well die

[A constellation wearing a straw mat is filled with expectations at your actions.]

[A constellation wearing a straw mat is delighted with your actions.]

[A constellation wearing a straw mat is puzzled by your actions.]

[A constellation wearing a straw mat is appalled by your actions.]

[The constellation 'Bald General of Justice' is happy at this situation.]

>average orv reader experience

He pretended to be okay but perhaps the one with the most terrible trauma in this place was this child.

> 😞

"Who are you? Don't you know that this area is our hunting ground?" In the faint light of the entrance, a girl holding a long sword stood.

>Jihyeeeeee. If she’s here then our buddy must be nearby

Lee Jihye, who was about to leave, turned her head at 'Yoo Joonghyuk'. There was vigilance in her eyes. "…Who are you?"

>she’s like…no way my master has friends so who tf are you

"I don't know. Master's friends?" At Lee Jihye's words, the eyes of the people on the platform became bigger. They looked at us with amazement and awe.

>LMFAO

"He is a good friend."

>Yall skipped first base and were straight up choking each other when you met the first time. Oh yeah i bet he’s a real good friend.

"…Yes. They are small forces, but the Landlord Association has obtained most of it."

>not the fucking land owners association we really can’t escape them anywhere

[The character 'Gong Pildu' demands 500 coins for invading his private land.]

>making a child pay rent typical land owner

In any case, I seemed to be the type that was popular with the bad guys. It was the same with Kim Namwoon.

>that checks out

Gong Pildu smiled like an ordinary neighborhood ahjussi, but I knew… Gong Pildu could never be an ordinary neighborhood ahjussi.

>real ones know no neighbourhood ahjushi is normal

"What is your relationship with Yoo Joonghyuk?" "We are companions separated by life and death."

>real good friends yes

"My best companion is coming."

>dokja your simp is showing

The main character, the lone hero of a drama, was walking by her side. He looked at me with impressively fierce eyes.

>DOKJA YOUR SIMP IS SHOWING

"Have you been well? Your face looks good?"

>flirting in front of everyone’s mother and my salad is this who we are

"Do you have anything to say?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.

“You have the most luxurious hair and a face sculpted by Gods, truly if I could I would’ve already jumped-“

“I meant…about the scenarios.”

“OH yeah no I know enough, don’t worry.”

However, being cheeky isn't good. Should I just kill him now?

>God yjh would HATE being around middle schoolers. the child death rate would skyrocket

"What are you looking at?"

「······.」

Good job, Jung Heewon.

「 Kill… 」

"Yoo Joonghyuk."

>DOWN DAWG

"I have a lot to do." Yoo Joonghyuk stared at me quietly and said, "You will never understand."

>…about that 😭

"That jerk Yoo Joonghyuk." [The constellation 'Prisoner of the Golden Headband' is satisfied.] [100 coins have been sponsored.]

>Talks shit

100 coins sponsored!

"Ah, I hate thinking." Jung Heewon complained.

>relatable

"I don't want ahjussi to die. You were quite impressive against Master earlier."

"Don't worry, I won't die.”

>well…

—

Great as usual. I love reading more of dokja’s thoughts hes such a freak and simp i love it XD

Next: Ch 32-52

Previous: Ch 11-20

Beginning: Ch 1-10

[erinptah]

I’ve recently been reading your Cover of Knight series on ao3 (love it by the way) and am really curious on any (non-spoiler) thoughts you might have on if Khonshu knows about the Inner Child? When reading, I didn’t get the feeling that he was aware of Gus until the suit-alter showed up? So maybe he doesn’t have as good a read on the system’s mind as one might assume.

Also, what might his reaction be if he meets the Inner Child (I read somewhere that he is a protector of children I think? so I’m hoping that he’d be protective and nicer than he initially was to the others)—that is if Marc and the others LET him meet her anyway.

I do have thoughts, yes! General ones, even, so they're not inherently Cover of Knight spoilers.

Khonshu can definitely perceive more about the system's mind than the average non-psychic human. But I figure he only looks deeply enough to see the "top level." When Marc showed up in his temple, Khonshu poked around enough to determine that he was "fractured" and that somebody else was in there, but didn't pry out a complete roster of headmates.

Between then and the Ammit conflict, Steven and Jake both fronted regularly enough that Khonshu had a chance to think "huh, my Avatar seems different right now, gonna take a closer look and see if this is someone new."

Any headmates who only fronted for short periods, and didn't do anything unusual enough to get Khonshu's attention, he wouldn't know about. (CoK Gus is in this category.)

Anyone who never fronted at all, he definitely wouldn't know about.

OG mythological Khonsu is associated with children, yes! His human form is portrayed as a child, and fun fact, the first "physical form of Khonshu" we saw in Marvel was kid-shaped:

So, here's some possible fic versions of MCU Khonshu meeting Inner Child:

Khonshu is protective and nice! Marc + Steven + Jake are prepared for it to go badly, then no, it's genuinely sweet and heartwarming all around. Everyone is gobsmacked

Khonshu tries to be his usual manipulative negging self. Marc + Steven + Jake immediately circle the wagons with "what the hell, you are thousands of years old and you're bullying a child, step off and think about your life choices." Bonus: Marc has a moment of "well of course we shouldn't leave her alone to get picked on, little kids don't deserve that, no adult has a good excuse in the first place to -- ohh"

Khonshu tries to be mean...but Inner Child is meaner. Because she's a middle-school girl, and nobody can be more terrifying than a middle-school girl. The guys are so proud

Khonshu responds by switching to his own middle-school form. Him and Inner Child start bonding. The guys quietly panic over "wait, was Khonshu always the equivalent of a human 12-year-old?? because...that explains a lot actually"

[andy-wm]

Why Jungkook made an explicit version of SEVEN, and why we should be thanking him for it.

The answer to the first question is short:

Because he wanted to.

THAT'S IT, AND IT'S ENOUGH.

It's his song, his career, his voice, his time. It's his choice. He doesn't need OUR approval and he certainly doesn't need our permission.

I think we should be thanking him frankly.

Not just because he made a sexy song although I think it's more sweet than sexy personally but also because it's started so many conversations that I think we need to have.

And that's what is really on my mind, The conversations we need to have, not just about JK and his artistry and his choices, but also about ARMY. About us as human beings.

Let's start with him...

JK's Adult Life:

First thing for me is that JK is UNQUESTIONALBLY an adult. But he's a (relatively) young adult in an industry that's very judgemental, controlled, and tightly scheduled.

He may have money coming out of his wazzoo and millions of adoring fans, but he has limited personal freedom. It's sure as hell not an exchange I would make. I'd choose an average income and the freedom to walk down the street hand in hand with my guy without making headlines - every day of the week.

The fact that he has any kind of personal life is cause for celebration in my eyes. And like the 19+ version of the song, it should be his choice.

I hope it is what he wants it to be. I hope he does have s3x every day of the week if he wants it (and I'm quietly cheering him on) but I don't need to know. I'm not going looking for any information (gossip, let's be real) about that aspect of his life because it's none of my business.

JK's Artistic and Creative Choices:

The songs he sings, the photos he poses for, the choreo for his dances, the words he speaks... these are his creative expression. To an extent they reflect who he is as a person, but largely they reflect a concept or story he wants to tell with his music. I would really hate it if he started creating work with the aim of pleasing someone else (ARMY, or the media, or any other entity). To me that would mean he had lost his self-belief, and that his spirit was broken. It would be a sign that he was more motivated by fear of rejection than by his own desires and creativity.

Personally I love that he trusts us and shows us so much of himself through his art. If that ever changed, it would be a sad, sad day indeed.

Cool, that was easy

Now let's talk about ARMY - and for the purposes of this discussion, I'm talking about ALL OF ARMY but mostly in relation to JK.

ARMY - Our Diverse Fandom:

The fandom has a beautifully broad demographic. I love that about us. Of course it means we have differences, but if we acknowledge that and we respect each other's right to those differences, we are all good.

And because we are all fabulously unique individuals, it's a given that not everything JK (or BTS) creates will appeal to every one of us.

BUT...

We can support their right to make creative choices without engaging with the things that don't work for us.

If some ARMYs are uncomfortable with explicit lyrics, they can scroll past/skip/block songs that are outside their comfort zone.

If some of ARMYs are minors, their parents can supervise their media consumption (because that's their job as parents).

If some ARMYs feel that songs about making woopie aren't their jam, they can instead listen to other songs that are more to their taste.

Magic! Problem solved!

Not really...

We really do need to talk about S3X

ARMY, we are humans:

Most humans have s3x. As adults (hopefully), when we are ready (hopefully), and if we want to (hopefully).

So what's the big deal about an adult making a choice to sing about that? We were all fine with him singing about 'loving you seven day a week' but when he clarified what that meant, suddenly there was a crisis.

Is it the word F**K? Because if it is, that word is everywhere and it's honestly just a word. He's sung it before. RM sang it, YG sang it, JM sang it. And let's be real, Letto's lyrics were far more explicit and she didn't say that word once.

WARNING: REAL S3X TALK COMING UP.

Is it because he's explicitly telling us that he's sexually active? Did we forget he's an adult? Where do we think he learned to move his hips like that... yoga?

For the ARMYs who are shocked that JK is sexually active, where do you think you came from? We humans don't reproduce like flowers. You were also concieved. Your parents, your grandparents, your great grandparents, have all had s3x... probably many, many times because s3x isn't only about reproduction. It's also about human connection, pleasure, stress relief, and being an adult.

In his live, JK told us that he doesn't consider the explicit lyrics to be 'dirty' and that's awesome.

S3x positivity is healthy both physically and emotionally. Seiously, considering how much of our humanity is linked to this instinctive need, it would be so much better if we weren't conditioned to feel shame about it. If we were instead taught to talk about it comfortably, to express our desires, to understand our bodies, and to protect our rights.

I could go on and on about this (and about control, the patricarchy, and body autonomy) but let's just say that JK is right. It's not dirty, its not immoral. When consenting adults choose to do it with someone they trust it's f**king awesome.

If the term sex positive is new to you and you want to find out more, please do. It could make all the difference in the world to your happiness as an adult. There are many websites you can look at to get more information. This is just one.

Even if nobody else is going to, I am going to say THANK YOU JK for this opportunity to talk about s3x. It's an important part of being human!

*I'm censoring my language so the ratings police don't block this post.

*as always, opinions expressed here are my own.

[journey-tothesurface]

It’s probably been said better before, but Eleanor was unusually… clean for a little sister.

Like here are other little sisters from 1&2:

They’re barefoot and covered in miscellaneous grime. Their hair looks unwashed, and the way it’s styled is fairly low-effort (though this is more obvious with the first game’s model) as though they’re either doing it themselves or haven’t touched their hair since they were transformed. Their dresses are threadbare and incredibly stained: there’s blood and muck all down the front, and any white fabric is practically grey from all the dirt on it. If you look closely at the sisters in the second game, their hands are so filthy that their fingernails are almost entirely black. For their appearances to get this bad, little sisters would either be rolling in a mix of blood and coal dust on a regular basis, or no one has been taking care of their well-being for a long time. If it weren’t for Doctor Slug MD living in their stomachs, a good number of these girls would likely have gotten seriously ill from diseases caused or made worse by the neglect of their hygienic needs.

Now, look at Eleanor.

Eleanor’s hair is in braids (which would be a good 5-10 minutes of sitting still to get her hair done while she would otherwise be gathering ADAM), and it looks like it was done up that way fairly recently. Her face and clothes are spotless. For the average seven year old -hell even the average adult- keeping a white dress and white shoes that clean is impossible unless you lock it in an airtight box. If it were any other little sister those clothes would probably be too stained to identify what colour they’re supposed to be, and yet Eleanor’s little white outfit doesn’t have so much as a speck of dirt on it. There’s barely any grime on her, while other sisters created around the same time haven’t been bathed in so long that their fingernails are turning black. Ironically, her skin and clothes are more visibly dirty after she’s been living with Lamb and the Family for 10 years than they are when she was drinking blood and living in a ventilation shaft. So someone had to have been helping her bathe, and do her hair, and keep her clothes clean, for however long she was a little sister, but who?

Considering that Grace had her run-in with Eleanor and Delta some time before the 1958 new year’s celebrations, Eleanor had likely been a sister for at least a month or so when Sofia broke out of prison. However well Grace cared for Eleanor when she was her guardian, she wouldn’t have stayed clean for that long when she spent most of her time crawling through vents and draining blood from corpses. Whoever was in charge of the little sister program probably wasn’t tidying her up either: not when they couldn’t be bothered to make the little sisters less filthy in front of Andrew Ryan himself. Even then, Grace getting her jaw broken when she tried to approach Eleanor proves there’s no way someone in Rapture was getting close enough to Eleanor that they could touch her without Delta severely injuring them in the best case scenario.

So that leaves Delta himself. Even though his only purpose as a protector was to kill anything that got too close to his bonded little sister, Delta was probably the one taking the time to braid Eleanor’s hair, help her put on her shoes, and wipe the grime off her face and clothes. That probably wasn’t a small feat. Those suits are hardly designed for delicate work, and if Delta can crush a human skull under his boot then he could kill a child Eleanor’s size just by flicking his wrist a little too hard. So if it was Delta keeping Eleanor clean, not only was he doing something that big daddies were never expected or conditioned to do, but he also would have been putting in a conscious effort to be gentle with Eleanor as he did. Honestly I lost track of where I was going with this, I’m just emotional about how despite everything he lost when he arrived in Rapture, Subject Delta loved his daughter so much that he chose to braid her hair and wash her face as the city fell to ruin.

[violetvenom]

Okay, here comes a post I wanted to do for a long long while and I summon all the fellow Walter enjoyers for this.

In the last 2 years I've rewatched and reread Hellsing several times and I have to admit I love to analyse stuff. So naturally a lot of questions popped into my mind regarding my fav character.

But one question stood out in particular: What the fuck is Walter? Yes, you've read this right..what..not who!

Yes, there is a theory in the fandom I think not many people know of or even care for, which actually makes a lot of sense. It's clear he his human (except at the end of the main story) but I think I speak for us all that his abilities are way over the top for a mere human. Some peple will probably know where this is going..but before I start explaining, I just want to clarify I will cite and take references and informations from several fan translations, fansubs and the official German translation of the manga. I just started to collect the new edition of the English one, so I can't properly refer to them but please feel free to fill me in with the old English version if there are drastic differences in context.

With this said..let's go trough what we know about Walter step by step:

We will start chronological with his youngest persona we saw: Young Walter or how the Japanese like to call him; Sholter.

So in The Dawn we get a throwback to a 14-year old Walter, who get's send on the mission to fight the Nazis in Warsaw in 1944. At the round table he gets praised by Arthur as the "strongest human of their existing militants".

So this clears Walter is in fact human and not something else, and also Hellsing's top figther. Alucard doesn't count here since he is a vampire and the secret special weapon.

We learn from Alucard that he officially must have met Walter when he was just mere 9 years old. Citing Girlycard here:

Hellsing's main story plays in 1999 and Walter is 69 at this point...that's simple math.

And this actually makes sense. When Girlycard and Walter get sent to Warsaw you can tell they already know each other. I won't dive deep into their dynamic here because I plan to do a seperate post for this, but I think the most notable moment to make that point clear is when Walter insults and questions "Bastard. Where's your shape?".

Or how it got translated in one fansub:

While Walter asks this, Alucard is already manifesting as Girlycard, stating "the form I take means nothing to me". So it's pretty safe to say Walter knows about the usual red coat man form and the vampire's ability to transform. Overall The Dawn gives vibes that they both already have fought alongside for a while.

I think this is enough to estabilish they met when Walter was 9 years old. Meaning they probably worked together for 5 years to this point...or at least Walter dealing with Alucard's shenanigans.🤭

This rises the question...how the hell does a 9-year-old end up in such an organization?

We don't know where Walter comes from..where he is born..who his parents are..Nothing!

It's a big mysterium, which I find rather odd since he is one of the most important characters in the main story and even the main character next to Girlycard in The Dawn.

But this actually fuels the fire of curiosity in me.

So let's take a turn here and talk about his abilities: We don't know how his wires work or what they actually are, but I will mention my idea with the final conclusion later on. So for now we ignore this part and just look at some examples of his bodily capabilities.

He is stronger than the average human:

Walter drags Alucard's coffin with one hand like it's an empty cardboard box.

Since Alucard canonically can weight basically nothing and rests in no particular shape in there (that's why he later emerged as black wobbling mass which first has to manifest into Girlycard), I just can point to the weight of a coffin for an adult.

This is the first data which shows up if you google it:

Also Alucard is canonically 6'6" (198cm) tall. Abraham staked him while he was more or less laying in the coffin...

...so it's not impossible the coffin even is oversized and weights more. I mean:

It's quite big, but not the most relatable source since Hirano fucks up with details a lot of times. lol

Walter then even kicks the coffin out of the plane with a simple kick.

Speaking of kicking; we also saw Walter kicking a knife.

You not only need a good control over your body to kick a knife from the table up and forwards, but look at the force he does this with. Animated it looked even more easy peasy for him to do so and the full force gets more clear if you see how fast the knife maneuvered to the Major. There is also quite the distance between them and the Captain catches the knife when it got pretty close to it's intended target.

Then he breaks the table in two parts with just one mere kick.

And even with 69 he still got a force in his legs which is astounding.

We saw how he kicked Jan against the wall for a brief second. And again animated it's even more impressive, when you can see and hear how Jan smashes against the wall.

And not to forget he could lift out the Harkonnen I for Seras like no biggie.

Just to paint the picture more clearly: The Jackal for Alucard alone weigthed 16kg and he handled it with it's case like it was nothing.

He is very swift, flexible and quick in reacting:

When Jan jumped over him and tried to run, he didn't take long to react to that despite being baffled by the enemies actions.

Or before that scene when he and Seras crawled trough the vents to get to the round table, where it seems that there is difference between OVA and manga.

In the manga it seems Walter crawls out with the legs first and landing gracefully on his feet (and luckily not on Seras):

Seras on the other hand....we still love you, silly police girl. In the OVA Walter emerges face first from the vent and catches his weight with his hands...

...just to push himself in the air again to regain his stance.

I can't stress enough that he is 69 here! So when he is capable to quickly move and react in such an age, it's no wonder young Walter did stunts like jumping out of a plane without a parachute and crashing through a window.

He is incredibly sturdy:

The most unflattering panel of Walter ever shows us with what force the Captain was punching the teen.

Like holy shit...that must have hurt. I can imagine this blow is the reason for his monocle later on.

Then he took a blow to the guts....

...and one in the back.

Ignoring that every anime/manga character has at least 100 litres of blood...those hits from a werewolf are sure something. No way a normal person would have survived this.

And yet Walter manages to quickly react and headbutt the doggo.

Also with an incredible force.

It's surprising as the Captain starts to strangle him, his neck isn't snapping like a twig.

We just saw how the werewolf just crushed a knife with a bare hand.

Looking at all those facts, you can't tell me he isn't the true one hell of a butler he is a mere human.

I'm convinced Walter is like Anderson an enhanced human. Which is also the theory circling around in the fandom and answers the question what he is.

But I never saw an explanation why this theory exists in the first place. So the gears in my head started spinning and tried to solve the puzzle.

We know the Vatican experimented on Anderson and thus creating his regeneration powers.

I can't remember if it ever got explained how, but it doesn't even truly matter in the end. Which matters is the fact that Walter was able to create a weapon for figthing Anderson. So my best guess is they experimented with biotechnology, which also plays a huge part in creating freak vampires.

BUT

Hellsing got their own ways and the prime example is Alucard.

It often seems to get forgotten who Abraham Van Helsing was, and what he was knowledgeable about.

And since Bram Stoker's Dracula is kinda canon to Hellsing, it's a fair use to cite Wikipedia here. ✌️

Integra even said that Alucard is the culmination of "generations of Hellsing's occult knowledge". This means nothing other than Alucard got experimented on, which makes sense since all the usual vampire weaknesses don't apply to him anymore.

But how do you experiment on a vampire? Well, if the word occult has not made it clear enough; let's have a look at a part in the manga where Richard chases smol Integra and provides some insights what Hellsing manor contains on rooms:

I think one is clearly sticking out a bit: Wizardry Analysis Room.

Combined with the fact Alucard's seals on the back of his gloves are pentragams with runes speaks a lot about what kind of experiments Abraham did.

This makes alchemy and sorcery to something which is canon and existing in Hellsing!

Since we know literally nothing about Walter, I think it's no wild guess to assume he is like Alucard an experiment of the Hellsing organisation.

I wouldn't go so far and say he is an homunculus since Arthur clearly said he is human as he fills in the round table about freak vampires, ghouls and Walter's existence. I see no reason why he should hide the fact they themselves created a homunculus at this point.

But what stood out to me was this sentence tho:

The majority of translations seem to go with born, but there are also some who are more like this:

Since I'm not able to find raw scans of The Dawn to maybe translate that part myself and to confirm, and I don't understand Japanese well enough to maybe listen and understand what Arthur exactly uses for words in the animation; take the following with a grain of salt.

If we go ahead with the born sentence...what actually would that mean?

Walter would have been indeed be born into the role of a vampire hunter. Which could also overlap with his role as being Hellsing's butler.

I'm no historian and very far off so but as far as I could research, this was something which was a thing:

Which makes the whole thing even more interesting. We don't know if Walter even has parents in the traditional sense. Is he some sort of lab-grown baby? If he got parents, were they also employed at Hellsing? What happened to them?

Questions which can't get answered here but can inspire to create nice headcanons.

To bring this long post finally to an end; My conclusion is that Walter is indeed an enhanced human, created by Hellsing themselves probably through alchemy. Which could wonderfully connect to his wires, because they could also be a product of alchemy or wizardry of some sort, since there is no logically explanation for this. 👀

Let me know if I've had missed something.