#hello dicks not socks lol

[autoneurotic]

something poetic and hilarious about my mom, who, when i was growing up, was soooo homophobic and now we’re supporting each other’s art which means she’s liking all of my gayass agnes and zoe art.

[magicalrocketships]

Hello hello I heard from em powerful-owl that you're you're cooking up a steamy and emotionall devastating maxiel fic with certain... elements 👀 and kinks 👀 and circumstances 👀 that I might be interested in (I've been being insane over in her asks about pillow humping, among other things lol idk if you've seen) anyway I just wanted to say I'm so excited for your fic! I want to wave my little pompoms and generally cheerlead you because I love our little f1rpf community and the,like, 2 things ive heard about this fic already have me blushing and foaming at the mouth. But. 😊😵‍💫 In a sexy way. 💖 (?? Hang on..pompoms... Maxiel au where max is a way-too-serious football player and daniel is a cheerleader and they have sex about it?? Is that anything) okbye 👍

Y E S, yes, there is a fic a-cooking which has SOME STUFF IN IT YOU MIGHT ENJOY, we can be our own little team of people going feral for a little pillow humping in a fic. In FACT, if you would like a snippet, then you can have one just now. It's basically lots of little snippets from a longer scene, so all the plot bits are gone because they'll make no sense without context, and there's just... you know. Max being a little bit raw at the edges from some plot stuff (not that there's MUCH of a plot, it's mostly 70k+ of Max figuring out who he is on and off the track, and where Daniel fits in) and being by himself in a hotel room etc etc. There's some metaphorical cheerleading by Daniel in this (no actual pom-poms were harmed) but there is a shared hoodie (and by shared, I mean, it's Max's now but it used to be Daniel's).

Max/Daniel, explicit, 2.5k.

Max drinks half a can of Red Bull, takes off his jeans, and puts on Daniel's yellow hoodie. It does not smell very much like Daniel anymore but it is nice that it is his - or was his, because it is Max's now, and Daniel is not allowed to have it back. Max tucks it over his nose for a moment as the screen loads on his TV, sitting down in the seat, controller in hand.

Then, carefully, as his game loads, he stands up and gets one of the pillows. He arranges it in the middle of the bed, lengthways. He lays down on the bed, dick pressed against the pillow, and gives his hips a little roll, just to see.

It feels nice. It always feels nice.

---

Max presses his hips forward against the pillow, holding himself there, squeezing his ass, dick chubbing up in his briefs. He likes this feeling, where his body is getting comfortable, dick getting hard. On the screen he scrolls through his saves to pick the one he wants to play, game loading. He could adjust his dick now that he's mostly hard, angle it so that it's pointing down between his legs because it's easier to rub himself off like that, but he's playing by his own rules and he doesn't want to touch. Anyway, sometimes it's nice to catch the side of his dick, rub a little to the left. It doesn't matter much. He just likes it all.

There's the first little blurt of pre-come, the wet spot in his underwear, the head catching and the material dragging as he presses his hips down. The pillow is going to get wet too, little damp patches as he gets more and more turned on and can't keep still. He deliberately does not speed up. This is his out lap. There's no benefit in going too fast. It can be a whole evening of out laps. No one's watching.

His hips move slowly, and he's up on his elbows for his game, but other than that he's lazy with it. He's not taken his socks off and his toes are pressed up the headboard. A hazy warmth spreads across his skin. He doesn't want to get too hot, otherwise he'll have to take Daniel's hoodie off, and right now he'd rather be in it.

He plays for a while, not his main play through of the game where he needs to focus, but on one he keeps for when he's not paying full attention. The whole time he's hard, rolling his hips down against the pillow. He gets so wet, even like this, even when it's lazy and there's no goal in sight and he's not even focusing all that hard. He just keeps on leaking even when he's not rushed, and right now his underwear is wet all around the tip of his dick.

His phone buzzes with a text so he pauses his game in case it is important. He rubs his dick against the pillow, a little side to side that makes him shiver as his underwear drags across his skin.

It's Daniel: what you up to maxy max???

Max swallows. His thumb hovers over the screen. He does not know what to say. He has not seen Daniel all day, and now he is-- well. He puts the controller down on the bed next to him and rubs his dick against the pillow, except this time with a little more intention. He hides his face in his hands. It feels so good. He shifts his knees so that he's at a different angle, going onto his toes so his calves are stretched out.

---

Did u show yourself a good time maxy

Max does not know what to say to that. It is a nice time. He likes it. It is just--

Maxxxxxxx are u doing it right now is that why u are ignoring me

Max chews his lip. He grinds down, hips rocking. It is not as nice as the pillow he has at home.

His phone starts to vibrate. It is Daniel calling.

Max, torn between embarrassment and a desperate need to hear Daniel's voice again, answers. Except-- it is FaceTime. Max is breathless and pink. What if Daniel is with someone, what if Daniel is not alone, what if--

Daniel is in his hotel room. "Did you come without me?" he asks, laughing, settling himself on the bed. "I told you that orgasms were a good thing, I said--" he stops. "Max. Are you doing it right now?"

"Are you by yourself?" Max asks. He's forced himself to stay still. On the screen he's pink and flushed and his face is blotchy.

"Yeah, of course. It's just me." Daniel whips the camera around to show Max the room. It's empty. "Are you jerking off?"

Max shrugs his shoulders. He is not not jerking off. It is just that maybe it does not count if Max is only fucking a pillow. It is not even fucking. It is rubbing his dick on something that feels nice. He is not even undressed.

"In my hoodie as well, I'm honoured," Daniel says. "You are though, aren't you? In my hoodie." His voice catches a bit. "Max."

"I am not touching myself," Max says finally. "I do not know if it counts. If I am not touching." He rolls his hips down, leaning forward a little so that the angle is better.

--

Max angles the phone down. The screen gets his chin, then Daniel's hoodie, then his briefs -- his one grey pair, so it is a hundred times more obvious that he has leaked in a big circle around his erection -- and him straddling the pillows.

"Can you see?" Max asks.

"I can see how hard you are," Daniel tells him. "How wet you've got. I fucking love how wet you get, babe."

Babe. "No. Can you see." Max rolls his hips forward so that his dick rubs against the pillow. His thighs are thicker when he's kneeling like this. He holds his phone in one hand and presses his fingertips into his thigh with the other. His hips rock forward; he has to squeeze his ass to stay like that.

"I can see you riding that pillow," Daniel says. His voice catches. "It's hot as fuck. Max, it's hot as fuck. I'm already hard."

--- (Daniel has come to his hotel room) ---

Max makes a face at him. "I am very glad that you are not showing your dick off to anybody you meet in the hotel, Daniel."

Daniel makes finger guns at him. "I save that only for you, baby."

"I am very honoured," Max tells him.

"You should be." Daniel hasn't touched him or kissed him or anything, but he looks a bit flushed and maybe like he wants to. Max does not reach for him. "Weren't you in the middle of something important?" He looks behind Max to the bed, and the messy covers and the pillows in the middle of it.

"I do not think it counts as important, Daniel."

Daniel makes a noise like a disgruntled hamster. It is barely a noise at all but the hamster has made its feelings known. "I think you coming is important. I also think me getting to see you come is important." He does not leave any room for Max to say anything back. "Glad we agree. Come on, chop-chop. Some of us want to wank watching other people rub one out on a pillow."

"You are very strange," Max says, but his entire body feels hot.

"That's what all the handsome boys say," Daniel agrees, patting Max on the ass.

Max flushes. "You-- you won't laugh?" There is only Daniel in the world who knows that Max is queer. That is his secret and it is nice that it is shared. But only Max knows how he likes to get off, and now he is sharing it and it is scarier than it should be. It is only an orgasm. It does not hurt anyone.

Daniel's expression softens. He reaches over and touches his fingertips to Max's wrist. "I won't laugh. Promise. I think it's really hot. That's why I ran down here doing my best impression of a tripod."

Max looks down at Daniel's dick. It is not big enough to be a tripod. He raises an eyebrow in Daniel's direction.

"Fine, fine, kick a man while he's down, tell him his dick's not worthy of being a third leg. I won't be offended." He flops down onto the chair, not seeming vaguely bothered that he's just sat on his phone and charger and hoodie. He cups his dick through his shorts. He's hard. He stretches his legs out; he's in his stupid mismatched shoes, barely laced up, and no socks.

Max climbs back onto the bed, straddling the pillows. He arranges himself so that his dick's trapped beneath him, going back between his legs, and he grinds down against the pillow, a delicious warmth trip-spilling across his skin as he gets himself comfortable. He still hasn't taken his underwear off. His hoodie obscures the view a bit. He fiddles with the cuffs.

Daniel holds his hand out. "Give it here and I'll wear it for you. It'll be like febreezing it except it's just a top-up of me and my very manly aroma."

Max pulls off his hoodie. He is getting warm in it anyway, and if Daniel leaves wearing it then Max will just go and get it back again. That hoodie is his now, regardless of who originally bought it. He is not wearing a t-shirt underneath, which is maybe why Daniel looks a bit like he's attempted to go backwards around the track as Max pulls it off then throws the hoodie at him.

---

"This how you like to do it?" Daniel asks, because he's never met a silence he didn't like to fill.

Max bites his lip. He's kneeling, fists pressed into the sheets. He does not think he could stop rocking down against the pillows now, even if Daniel asked. It gets like this, when he's almost done with the out lap, but he is not quite ready for a hot one. "I just like it," he says.

"Feels good," Daniel says, nodding. He's still cupping his dick, not jerking himself off, but looking like he wants to.

"Can I--" Max points at Daniel's dick. He tilts his chin up. "Show me?"

"As you wish," Daniel says, shuffling his shorts down over his hips. He shoves his stuff off the seat at the same time, so he's not sitting on his phone charger. His shorts and underwear are trapped around his thighs. It is very hot, seeing Daniel with his dick out. He is very handsome. Especially when he is in Max's hoodie.

Max grinds down into the pillow. His dick feels so good like this, trapped in his briefs, so, so wet. Now that Daniel is here and he is watching, everything suddenly feels more urgent, like he wants to fuck from now until he comes, no more lazily rubbing himself off.

---

Max fucks his hips forward. He blurts more pre-come into his underwear. Daniel's dick is so slick, and his hand around it lazy and wet with lube. Max chews on his lip, his mouth dry. He shoves at his underwear, pushing it down so that it is trapped beneath his balls, stretched tight and a little painful across his his thighs.

"God, I love your dick," Daniel says.

Max does not touch himself, even though he wants to. His dick drags against the pillowcase, leaving little damp marks on the cotton. "Yours is very handsome too."

"I know, baby." Daniel grins, but then his gaze goes back to Max's dick, at where he's rubbing himself off. "This is hot. This is how you come?"

"A lot of the time, yes," Max tells him. "I like it."

---

Max buries his fists in the pillows, holding himself up so he can fuck his hips forward, arousal drenching his skin. It is a good thing he has lost the hoodie because he is flushed pink and starting to sweat, skin blotchy with heat. The muscles in his thighs flex. He still dreams of riding Daniel's thigh, of rubbing himself off across Daniel's tattoos, of coming all over them. It is not-- they are not-- maybe he will still get to.

---

"You going to come for me like that?" Daniel asks. He has shoved the sleeves of the hoodie up, and Max can see the rose tattoo on his hand. Maybe when he comes on Daniel's thigh he will also get to come across Daniel's rose. Imagining that is very hot.

Max just nods, swallowing. He bites his lip again, because if he doesn't he'll make all kinds of embarrassing noises. He changes the angle a bit, whining through his teeth as the cotton catches his slit. He is going to come soon. All of that build up, multiple lazy laps as he played Playstation, is meaning that now it's flipped to a hot lap it's going to be quick. Top of the leaderboard. P1.

He's cataloguing everything he can about Daniel jerking himself off. The way way he cups his balls, switching from thumbing the underside of his head to jacking his dick; Max steals all the data he can, even as he ruts against the pillow, god, it feels so good, he likes it so much--

He is going to come, and he is going to come without even touching himself. He's going to come grinding down on his pillow with Daniel's eyes on him, with Daniel jacking off to him, because of him, in front of him. He is going to come.

Max fucks his dick into the pillow, his orgasm star-bright as he nears the edge. He can taste it on his tongue. He is not at home doing this by himself. He's with Daniel.

He comes, pulsing stripes across the pillow, head tipped back. He groans, breathless, even as he rocks his hips through the comedown, as his orgasm shivers across his skin.

He drops his ass back onto his heels, tilts his chin up. Meets Daniel's gaze defiantly. He has made a mess.

Daniel is still jacking himself off. His skin is flushed pink. He's too hot in the hoodie, Max can tell, but he's still wearing it, he's going to come in it, he's going to come in it and give it back, and Max is going to wear it and smell Daniel and he's going to get hard all over again.

"Fuck," Daniel says. "Fuck, Max. That was so hot."

"You should come, then," Max says. Then, after a beat: "You should come on me."

[cutekawako]

FEM! KAWAII FASHION READER x BOYFRIEND SMUT

warnings: blowjob, unprotected sex, upskirts, demanding boyfriend?? lol, dominate boyfriend, mention of vomit / choking, grinding, female reader

BF/N = Boyfriends Name

Y/N = Your Name

F/C = Favorite Color

it was a normal day like usual. you wake up, wash your face, and throw on some cute clothes. specifically a cute frilly mini skirt and a hoodie, along with some thigh high socks. today was also the day you asked BF/N to come over. as you were doing your makeup, you hear a *ding!* from your phone. BF/N was finally here! you quickly went to answer the door.

“hello y/n, i missed you”

he gave you a hug as he walked in. you both walk up the stairs, your boyfriend behind you. he is looking up your skirt you can feel it..

once you entered your room with your boyfriend, you decide to play some video games. you walk over to you F/C pc set up. your boyfriend sits down first, and you follow, sitting on his lap. he grunts slightly as you wriggle around and get comfortable. as you load up your favorite game, BF/N holds your waist, and you feel something…. hard against your butt through your panties.

“B-BF/N!!” you yelp out to him.

“Y/N, y-your really making this hard for me…”

“do you need me to…. help with your issue..?” your now visibly blushing

“please.” he says quietly

both of you get up, BF/N guides you back onto your bed, you plopping onto it as he kisses your lips softly. you and him switch positions, and your now sitting in his lap, feeling his bulge against your clothed pussy. your now moving your hips painfully slowly back and forth onto BF/N’s clothed dick.

“Y/N… can we please do it?….”

you nod your head, then after taking off your shirt to reveal your adorable looking bra that complements your chest very well.

BF/N starts to kiss you again, grabbing your chest, and bucking his hips up into you, grinding onto you making you so wet… you pull away from the kiss, and slide off your panties off, skirt still on. but BF/N unzips your skirt.

“i want this off of you babe…”

you obey, of course. you now only have your bra left on which BF/N unclips right after your skirt is slipped off. he gets ontop of you and unzips his tight pants, with a nice visible bulge. he slips off his boxers along with it, and discards both his pants and boxers to the other end of the room.

“are you ready for this?”

you nod, “yes, please… BF/N….”

he instantly slips his cock into your wet, tight entrance. you squeezed around him so so well… his pace starts off slow and gentle, he leans down kissing you and grabbing your waist in the middle of fucking you. your eyes roll back and you wrap your legs and fan your hands around the back of his neck. he picks up his pace feeling you tighten and the lewd noises coming from your skin slapping together. you feel the knot in your stomach forming, your so close.

“B-BF/N!! im so close…!”

“come on my cock babe…”

thats all it took for you to come undone around your boyfriends dick, your body pulsed at the pleasure that spread throughout your body. BF/N pulls out and then.

“get on your knees.”

he demands, standing up next to the edge of your bed. you slowly but quickly make your way on the floor to your knees, and take his cock in your mouth. he grabs the back of your head, and is literally fucking your pretty face, making you gag, and tear up.

“fuck… Y/N… im cumming…”

he cums all the way down your throat, your eyes rolling back again, feeling the urge to vomit from it being so deep in your throat. he pulls out, and pats your head. you rest your head against his thigh instantly. BF/N picks you up and lays you on the bed, and slips his boxers back on, and leaves the room for a minute, coming back with a warm washcloth and a glass of water.

“sorry for being so rough baby, i got ahead of myself, you just feel so good.”

you blush, BF/N puts the glass down on the pink end table and opens your legs gently, wiping your slit down with the warm cloth. he tucks you in, gives you a sip of water, and joins you in bed, cuddling until the two of you fall asleep in eachothers arms…

how nice it is to have such a cute girlfriend…. 🤍

hope everyone enjoyed this, it took awhile to write, so give me some feedback since its my first time writing this stuff!

[laneysmusings]

Hello hello! I've recently acquired the Mike Logan brainrot and I LOVE the fics you've written and I ADORE your tags about him!!

SO. I was wondering if you maybe, possibly, hopefully were willing to share any headcanons you have of him? 👉👈 If not then just delete this ask!

Thank you muchly!

it’s my birthday today, and it’s been a terrible one at that, but this ask literally made my face light up. I feel gifted by you — I would be HAPPY to provide headcanons of this gargantuan idiot, this hunk of massive Catholic guilt, my emotional support beleaguered detective

₊˚.༄ Mike Logan Headcanons

₊˚✦ he’s like, an adequate cook? Most likely good at breakfast in the morning and maybe some basic dishes, self sufficient so he doesn’t solely live off of takeout (but it’s like a quarter of his diet). I can’t say he can’t cook because it’s just not realistic. Boy’s gotta’ eat, y’know?

₊˚✦ Mike has trash coffee taste, takes it straight with maybe some cream or a sugar packet but refuses to try other things like blended drinks, will drink a cappuccino or an americano but hates being in a Starbucks

₊˚✦ UNLESS he gets spoilt and used to better coffee but then he’s doomed and cursed to the shit coffee at work and complains even more than usual. Which is a lot.

₊˚✦ I’ve got a feeling that, with being super progressive in his views, he definitely was one of those police officers in the beginning that everyone was shocked by. This little stinker, a raucous trouble maker, an OFFICER? PUHLEASE

₊˚✦ he’s so quick to fight for one (scrappy more like) he’s just got no fit outlet, so work became his outlet (terrible decision really) — but he’s got such hyperactivity and restlessness, probably born from some childhood PTSD and ADHD/ADD, that it just gnaws at him and lets him get too caught up in his emotions

₊˚✦ the boy needs therapy + AND NOT WITH LIZ

₊˚✦ cuddle bug but doesn’t look like it immediately — like sure he’s probably got some weird stuff with intimacy beyond sex (I can do a WHOLE other set of headcanons about this man’s issues with intimacy, both sexual and non sexual)

₊˚✦ but literally a cuddle bug, he will YANK his partner back into bed. he’s a lazy weekend guy and stands by it — it’s when he catches up on sleep and gets to take his time. He doesn’t shave on weekends either so he gets the perfect “I know I’m hot but I make it look effortless” stubble which is damning. Like fuck.

₊˚✦ I think when he works out he does cardio and maybe weight training but not all too much? Like above the minimum since he’s required to like, apprehend people, run chase and whatnot — but he’s not living at the gym if you catch my drift

₊˚✦ snores. he fucking snores look at that man and tell me he doesn’t snore.

₊˚✦ gets nightmares but doesn’t cope well with them — or have much if any good coping mechanisms honestly. Maybe later in life he’ll adapt some better ones, but everything he’d recommend to others, he wouldn’t do for himself.

₊˚✦ definitely not a “decorate his place for the holidays” person unless his partner is, then he’ll play along and get some fun out of it, but I doubt he’s got a box of decorations tucked away in some closet.

₊˚✦ speaking of closets — this man, oh I swear to god, has owned the same damn ties for like, 12+ years. What magic is in that fabric because I know he’s too cheap to buy good quality shirts and ties, maybe decent suits but still like department store, Macy’s suits. Joseph A. Bank maybe? I’m doubtful on Brooks Brothers, like there’s blood and probably brain matter on them all but fuck it, NYC dry cleaning. There’s also mustard stains, canonically, on them. He’s a slob, someone get this man a tide pen.

₊˚✦ lol all I can see now is him trying to iron his clothes in his apartment with the whole board and iron in like, a tank and boxers and mid-calf socks as he gets ready before work. Oh Dick Wolf you had so much promise with this man.

₊˚✦ he definitely has played and probably would play in the police recreational baseball league, it’s mentioned in an episode and he’s passionate about the Yankees. I’m torn between him actually sporting baseball gear or if it’s really casual with jeans and jerseys and baseball caps. (Pls pls pls PLEASE)

₊˚✦ ooh I’m not sure when he changed it but he used to wear a gold crucifix, fuck my life, but stopped wearing it later on and I’m wondering if it’s due to him taking a bigger step away from Catholicism? Like he’s absolutely a lapsed Catholic with terrible experiences in both home and church, it makes sense for him to be conflicted if not repelled from religion. I’d like to think out of habit he may still go to holiday midnight masses, and sometimes on his own for the quiet and the near-anonymity.

₊˚✦ I’m thinking that leather coat of his he wears around all the time, even in the snow like a fucking moron, may have been a gift or one of his bigger purchases for himself. Like something he saved up for or found and just, let himself have the little luxury. Coats like that are expensive and high quality, he wears the same damn one nearly every episode in both the original series and when he was on criminal intent.

₊˚✦ it may just be me projecting, but I feel like he’s got a record collection. Probably some old record player and some nice speakers, milk crates full of records that he has to bend over to sort through, groaning about his back all the while. Definitely a lot of jazz standards and the greats like Sinatra, as he mentions in the series at some point, Martin, Baker, Fitzgerald, Armstrong, Cooke, Davis, etc plus some classic rock, stuff like the typical dad rock™️ — doesn’t peg me as a frequent flyer for concerts but goes for really good shows, he’s a medium venue person not the intimate ones but not the giant stadiums either. He likes Billy Joel but isn’t vocal about it.

₊˚✦ he’s got clutter in his place, a little too cramped but it makes it homey, not decorative but at least lived in. Things are more out in the open than put away, he’s more visual and muscle memory based than having things stored away.

₊˚✦ lastly, a massive sweet tooth. A snacker, keeps things in the drawer of his desk to munch on between meals. He’s got more snacks than ingredients to cook with in his home kitchen and I stand by that. He looks like he would enjoy pretzels a lot, like a lot. And other salty snacks, but definitely an ice cream, eat out the tub kinda’ guy. I’m betting Raspberry, Chocolate, or Strawberry. Maybe a chocolate fudge if he’s feeling a little wild.

Note: I’d literally be more than happy to expand on any of these if not write even more headcanons

[wanderingpages]

Noooo chapter 5😪😪😪😪 we’re coming to a close, fellas. I cannot… and yet. I can. We move forward my sisters in god

Oh…not him spending winter break with her…in the same house… as their parents…with all this…tension…. (Ive seen this [adult] movie before)

Aww he holds the door open for her… helps her take off her socks…walks her to class/.., it really is the little things. His actions… Peach said show dont tell 😮‍💨❤️

Not Cardan being fluent enough in french to have La Chute in its original publishing bye thats so hot of him and dare i say,..timothee chalamet core…. @iknowitwontwork wya (This is rockstar anon btw i am on medication (dont worry abt it peach this a little inside comradery bby)) anyways have i mentioned you write and its like a movie?

““Is it your favorite?” I ask. I wiggle my brows, “Do you think you, too, have fallen from grace?”” – first, not babygirl being versed in Camus 😛 secondly, ohhohoo i love all the biblical references 

“His smile is Cheshire in response, “Since the day I met you, little sister.”” - u know what…. At least he honest, like its really now hitting me that hes soooooooo honest about it. Playing  a little game as jude said when he was leaving her dorm after the party… like its a game but an honest one. Like am i crazy or is he just trying to see how far he can provoke her w their situation and honesty? 

Omg wait not him CLOCKING HER the very next paragraph  (By the way i feel like u should know, i have the chapter open on one half of my split screen and the other half is your ask box lol i am literally typing as i go like this is the wattpad comments section fr)

i feel so smart and validated that cardan literally says all of that ^^^ like wow i should have held my tongue (fingers) and read the next paragraph lmao

ALSO BAD THING SBY CULT DIDNT I LITERALLY SAY SHE KNOWS DOT MP3 BEFORE???? 

I like that his jewelry comes up frequently because its part of him, just like her knuckles come up cus its part of her fr like both of them are so natural abt it too like her playing w his chain and him rubbing her fingers like ugjhhfh SHOW DONT TELL IS SO IMPORTANT

Whoaaa not him clocking ASHA now!! Not jude saying her mamma dead or alive she dont really care, RESPECT 

Wait not him pulling up to the gas station to get a first aid kit….like he really doesnt say a word about it at allllllll

And jude said oh, more time alone with him? In a diner? Count me in ❤️

Oh shit cardan has moneeeyyyyyy – “I guess, there really is a lot about him I had no idea of. “I'm an honorary member,” he shrugs, “It’s kind of hard not to be when Daddy funds their lifestyle.”” purrrrr

Oop!!! “ “Ghost is my best friend. It would have been a fight had it been Locke or anyone else,” he divulges, and though I shouldn't be startled by his honesty, it still makes me feel a little too warm. Then he admits, maybe selfishly considering his track record for the past few weeks, “If he had gone further, I would have buried him.”” HELLO

Lol jude got some balls to say ““That's a visceral reaction,” I come to terms with. “Your best friend?” I blush when I remind him quietly, “you’re the one who told me to open my mouth.”” cus like she right tho

Ahhh! I squeaked ! ““Plus, I think you look cute with a dick in your mouth.””

When hes a feminist 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 – ““What makes you think you have any right over my body?” / “I know I don't.””

Hold on hold on hold on wait a minut wait a minute hold on, when did cardan transition from little sister/dear sister to baby? It happened so naturally how am i this far in and catching it???? I love him

Lol jude said fuck condoms we fucking raw or not fucking at allll 😤😤😤😤 

“After a while, I notice him staring. “Do you want some of my pie,” I offer. / “Is that a euphemism?” / [..]“Do you want it to be?”” – yes, i do, i wsnt it.

““What's the pipeline between mommy issues and wanting to bend your sister over the bathroom sink?” “ - HELP ME?! – ““Stepsister,” I tell him.” – emphasis on step fr okayyyyyyyyyyy 

““It makes no difference to me, Jude. Sister or not, I’d want you the same way I wanted you then, the same way I want you now.” ” - wait why is there butterflies in my tummy 🫣🥺

““I want you to copy me,” he says, huskily, startling me, my eyes growing wide. “I want you to stick your fingers in your panties and do what I do.” ” - PEACH…the gasp i gasped ….  !!!! PEACH

IN THE DINER!?

IN FRONT - ACTUALLY !! ACTUALLY IN FRONT OF MY SALA D IN THE DINER?! .. do continue 

““I think…I want to do to you what Spring does to cherry trees,” he murmurs. “Open you up…watch you bloom.” ” – DO NOT BE QUOTING PROFOUND POETRY RIGHT NOW IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE. 

His fingers in her mouth jus - 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶PUT MY FINGER IN UR MOUTH CUS U LOVE THE TASTE 

“He pulls out of my mouth, a trail of spit losing connection when he finds his way under the jacket, following my hand, and adding his finger to my two. I whimper at his intrusion, and think, disoriented, three. Three fingers.” – no fuc me for real PEACH PEACHERLY ANNE POSSIBLE i dont care that its dirty as hell this shit is poetic

NO NOT THE WAITRESS !!! NOT HIMS STILL GOING TOOO AHH PEACH

My heart racing rn 

Oh god.. The soft forehead kiss…like he didnt just rock her world in a booth in the diner… im literally and figuratively unwell

“He kisses me sweetly when we get to his car, and I kiss him back, because we can, for right now. ” – why did this hurt?!

AND ALL THIS TIME HE DIDNT EVEN LIKE CHERRIES

Not is it out of your system!!!! Twk ate w that fade to black fr tho

““Cherries?” / “Me,”” - STOP hes so fucking cute 

Okay this might be the longest ask yet 💀 my sisters in god is sending me💀

I think in any fic I’ve ever written, cardan is always holding doors for her lol

Not timothee chalamet core 😭😭😭 @iknowitwontwork ur friend is here, come get her ❤️

lol that is a nice piece of info to be made aware of 💀 I was lowkey wondering if you were switching through tabs lmao meanwhile I’m scrolling up and down trying to respond 💀 lol it would be soooo much h easier if this was the Wattpad comments section. Like they ate w that…that one little thing. They ate.

You did mention the song!

I really do try so hard to show not tell cus I hatttteee reading tell not show in books😭 like don’t tell me he loves her, show me!!! Where’s the build up?? The tension??

lol if cardan is blunt, Jude is ballsy (I hope it comes across this way lol)

Actually don’t know when that transition happened I just be typing stuff 💀

Always emphasis on STEP lmao he’s not the step brother he’s the brother that STEPPED up lmao lemme stop that was uncalled for anyways yes the diner, yes infront of your salad, ues the waitress, yes that song lmao

Also you should know the first time you called me peacherly anne possible, something in me changed like the stars alined and now peacherly is my go to user name for websites and stuff cus slayyyy who tf else being called peacherly ????!!!

Two really did eat w that lmaooo

[tf-boi]

Hello!

I found your blog yesterday, and wow, your stories are great ^^

I was wondering if you were still up for the "asks for TF fans"?

I'm certain of 4, and either 28 or 33?

4: "What got you interested in TF?"

28: "Someone transforms you... what do they do with you after?"

33: "One part of your body you want to change?"

Have a nice day!

— @socks-and-sneaks

Thanks!

Lets see for your questions . . .

#4 Well I was originally just into vore and then it became cock vore, then from cock vore, cock tf and after diving a bit more I just ended up here.

#33 Admittedly during the pandemic I kinda gained a belly so I'd like it if it became like abs lol or at least be flat . . . or have a bigger dick that lets me control the release pheromones so that I can make my bf's brother and other people to become attracted to me would be nice haha.

#28 Well if they transformed me into a pair of socks, I'd want to spend the day on their feet while the run errands, but I think I would refuse to be taken off until I've absorbed the amount of sweat and stench from them. Then maybe they'll use the sock thats the upper half of my body as a meat sock and cum in me. Later they'll transform the sock that is my lower half back to my lower body and do lewd stuff with it.

[mommytimmy]

Hi hello i know this is out of the blue but i need you to know that i just. Absolutely adore your art. All of it. Its so so gorgeous and delicate in just. An incredible way and if i could id print out every single piece and consume it like a 5 course dinner. Your tim is so so gender and the way you draw him is beautiful. Genuinely, your style makes me so so happy to see

omg 🥺🥺 I took a while to answer this because I couldn't think of an answer that wasn't (incoherent screaming).

I really like drawing pretty people and pretty men, and Tim is so special because he also brings a youthfulness to it, like his cheeks are soft and still a bit baby fat despite his Self Care Choices I think fljskahdjklsahd (if I were to age him up, I'd definitely keep the kind of looks that have people carding him to buy alcohol) 🙈

I keep thinking of the balance of drawing a pretty androgynous guy without relying on over-feminization, and I don't know! I think as a character Timmy should be confident in how he presents himself and therefore does absolutely deranged stuff with his fashion choices LMFAO like his Sticking Up Hair from old comics with the Gotham giants magenta shirts LMFAO I haven't drawn that, but it lives in my head rent free, he has so much range. OR how in GK he tucks his pants into his socks oh my god I want to shove him into a locker????

Tim doesn't know how cute he is even when he hasn't washed his sweater for 2 weeks fr... But definitely, I feel like I've drawn him when he's "produced" himself for the public (taking notes for future drawings)

Another super nice thing about getting into comics is that legitimately I can do whatever I want with Tim's design? If you look at my first drawings on this account, definitely the way I have been settling on drawing Tim has changed, and I keep thinking of ways to live my best life while also having Tim look like himself, and it's still a bit of a learning curve heheh I think the goal would be having people recognize him from a lineup of his siblings (which I have to get to btw, I really want to draw the Robins but crash into the wall of "I don't draw handsome people as well as I do pretty people" fjsahdjklsad)... which comics don't do btw, it's embarrassing how many times I've confused Tim and Dick? They should color code them like the power rangers jfc

I'm also glad (laying on the floor crying) to learn more anatomy even though I never actually show it lmfao I still draw it like some clown before drawing clothes over it, but drawing superheroes is SUCH a chance to learn how to draw!

All this to say, I draw ultimately to make myself happy, and I'm lucky enough that with a couple days of resting the eyes, I can look at my own drawings like someone else made them LOL it also makes me really happy other likeminded people can enjoy the drawings I make (while I also enjoy the fanworks they make; I love ur writing!) I'll keep doing my best to keep learning how to draw so we can have more things to enjoy together! 😤

[hannyoontify]

your seventeen as different marching instruments is so accurate LMFAO as an ex marching kid myself i was giggling sm (i was front ensemble switched to battery) AND IM NGL JEONGHAN LOWK GIVES MAJOR FLUTE VIBES BUT SWITCHED TO PICCOLO BC ITS “LIGHTER” and mayb i’m biased but woozi could be that one packed member who looks like he wouldn’t play tenor drum but is the only one who has the back strength to hold one BECAUSE HAVE WE SEEN HIS MUSCLES GODDAMN either that or he plays drumset bc he gets to “sit down” and LOL i can see DK as a bass drummer LOL he’s so kind and innocent i feel battery has at least one innocent kid that they slowly corrupt (but honestly i could see him playing the mellophone too he’s lowk brass coded)

omg there's so much to unpack here

first and foremost i have the utmost respect for ppl who switch from front ensemble to battery bc like idk you gotta learn marching and basics and it's js gross lmao

OKAY SO I WAS GONNA SAY JEONGHAN WAS A CLARINET/FLUTE -> PICCOLO (he would be an absolute menace with that instrument) but idk smth was tugging at my heartstrings to say mallets but i totally get what you mean like he wants the least amount of work and what's better than marching the lightest instrument in the band? i'm a flute player and i throw my flute around on the field like it's nothing since it's so light and jeonghan would def hit people on the head with his flute/piccolo. HELLO HE WOULD HAVE IT AS HIS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ITEM IN HIS HAND ON THE FIELD THAT'S SO CUTE

omg woozi reminds me of our current drumset player. he's rlly good and wants to switch to battery but our director isn't letting him lmao but he's always hanging out with the battery kids and plays on their instruments. woozi would 100% choose drumset simply bc he gets to sit down but wait until he has to load his cart on the truck on show days 💔 (completely unrelated but last winter season one of our senior tenor players got socked in the balls in the middle of a rep bc his harness was broken and our group is too broke to get it properly fixed and he had to lie down on the floor for the rest of the rehearsal and why... do i see that happening to woozi as a tenor player)

see, i would agree abt DK being bass, but our entire battery is utterly, completely irresponsible and have absolutely no discipline and lowkey act like dicks (esp the basses–no offense to you op it's js the ppl at my school lol) so i js can't.. imagine dokyeom as a bass player. he's far too sweet and polite to be a battery member imo 🥲 although if he joined as a freshman, he could def be corrupted and "brainwashed" as my director likes to call it lmao. AND YES HE'S SO BRASS CODED. LIKE MELLO SUITS HIM SO WELL. pls i can imagine him playing french horn in the band room during concert season in a cute, academia outfit with glasses and everything i'm sobbing.

[lipstickmarks]

I love how a lot of people are choosing romantic songs or soft Taylor swift songs to represent hellcheer but my pop punk heart will only let one song represent them and it’s Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus lol

I’ve seen other people make the connection with the lyrics and the characters too and I love it.

Like I’m sorry to the romantics but our ittle basement dwelling, weed smoking, metal head is definition of teenage dirt bag in love with the pretty girl he thinks he has no shot with until he realizes she’s as much of a freak as him.

...I have 28 Taylor Swift songs on my hellcheer playlist 😂

Teenage Dirtbag is a great hellcheer song tho. Right down to the tube socks and a dick boyfriend 😂

but I love assigning soft songs to eddissy because they strike me as such a soft couple. Chrissy and Eddie have had such tumultuous lives and when they fall in love, it's their chance to create a safe space for each other.

King of My Heart is probably my fav Eddissy song. (reputation is such a them album anyway)

Salute to me, I'm your American Queen

The Queen of Hawkins High, picture perfect "all American girl"

'Cause all the boys and their expensive cars With their Range Rovers and their Jaguars Never took me quite where you do And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for King of my heart, body and soul

Jason doesn't make Chrissy feel the way Eddie does. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, they just makes sense.

Late in the night, the city's asleep Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep Change my priorities The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

Chrissy doesn't want all of the glamour she was always told to aim for. She just wants to feel safe and loved, she wants the feeling Eddie gives her.

Is the end of all the endings? My broken bones are mending With all these nights we're spending Up on the roof with a school girl crush Drinking beer out of plastic cups Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff Baby, all at once, this is enough

MY BROKEN BONES ARE MENDING???? SCHOOL GIRL CRUSH? DRINKING BEER OUT OF PLASTIC CUPS?? SAY YOU FANCY ME??? NOT FANCY STUFF????? ALL AT ONCE??? THIS IS ENOUGH???? HELLO???

I could talk about music as it relates to Eddie and Chrissy for hours

[homiro]

Only saw this now, rip. Thanks for the tag @valkaryah i don't need to tell you that Ily but I will anyway. True Queen

Nickname: Sil

Sign: Scorpio

Height: 166cm (5'6'')

Last thing I googled: Madara Natsume Yuujinchou (I needed to show him to a friend)

Number of followers: 480 or something I'm on mobile sorry I won't check because that's too much trouble and I'm in a mood, but thanks for being here y'all

Amount of sleep: 4-5 hours, less if I don't take a bunch of benzos lol yes hello I'm addict I'm not flexing it's bad and I can't do rehab at this time

Dream job: I do not dream of labour /hj I guess I'd like to write but I'm mid so

Wearing: right now old school undershirt, pyjama bottoms, underwear, Christmas socks

Movies/books that summarise you: assuming this means my faves and the stuff that I relate to the most or has the biggest impact on me, for movies I'm gonna say Warhorse, Coco, Django Unchained, Interstellar, Paddington (both yes, judge all you like), Mr Bean's Holiday. For books it's gotta be The Old Man and the Sea, The Process, and Moby Dick.

Favourite song: God I hate this question lmao I love a lot of songs and don't really have a favourite. But I suppose Che sarà by Achille Lauro, Mille by Achille Lauro, Fedez and Orietta Berti, 1/3 Junjou na Kanjou by Siam Shade, Dust in the Wind by Kansas, Hurt the Johnny Cash version, Everyday by Buddy Holly, La Bamba by Ritchie Valens, Under the Boardwalk and Up on the Roof by the Drifters, and Abissale by Tananai. Those are the ones at the moment some of them are recurrent ones lol

Favourite instrument: the violin and the acoustic guitar

Aesthetic: I don't have one. Hobo chic if you want to call it something lmfao I like vintage stuff but that's mostly because I'm poor and old technology lasts longer and is currently quite cheap (eh.: CDs and cassette tapes not vinyls I don't have a player and they're expensive now that people are getting into that stuff again). I'd say I'm pretty old fashioned and if I time travelled to like the 80s the only thing that'd give me away would be my phone lmao

Favourite author: Ernest Hemingway

Random fun fact: one time when I was a kid I put a dried up dog turd inside a tuna tin and gave it to my aunt as a prank

Aish, I'm not tagging anyone I feel so hated right now I just don't feel like it. But uh yeah do it if you want. It's fun and it's whatever nobody cares.

[wpdariacutnes]

🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴

Me: helm, sometimes the camcom just looks at me like it doesn't matter what she did and then they are surprised that I have a solo fight rule because there is one stew, when I was there for the first time and normally you say hello, this is the first time you gave me smoke eyes (I already know one word "aha, it's you" and they don't say anything, they just give some information or redwork and then I show them my lines and they tell me theirs) but they still don't care about it like when you say wow, they roll their eyes, and when I say that their eyes are like three-windows, "they sick it, but normally" and so on all the time, or these chicks are dressed up so that he has 3 puffs and he's starving garu enifing a whatever chraing ask why look like dys now say how me not fuck off or enifing ask a how lot get strakter me fairypass and enifing like dys (but fine whatever sick whatever is self-enforcing) others sit on men's legs and look at me as if they were deep *ehem* or they just make fun of them, but these socks are a bit of a nuisance to me but I didn't provoke anything, I just ask normality how it is or how the oc's work is going on, just for nice talks or changes of ideas and they won't say anything anyway but they leave anyway and when I come in they stay silent why I don't know but while I'm laughing about amber (gem shiti name stone but ok), now they're considering not touching it and giving me other artwork just to drive them away

So yeah das look like same a fanbase same teshus but. . . I not start because yeah whatever ugh

ster, I had high role eyes for this, but normality now I have a newer oc's plan together as amber ver, i.e. smole logic that I'm new to my series and generally a small name like huntermini_amber but of course they probably won't tell me, they'll just give me a card and then say don't come closer because they only have perwe or something like that because of course it's just me who's stiff or pet kamil master ( how care? Well look a none rezan a noob staws a enifing time a say enifing cool or code sover hem a dick because her miss need it bra moment but enifing hush did a self a expleing dys because reddy did a laters and forget and say a "say shuh her legs saver dickaway her bor" because did same more faster a me did a 8 day ego so relly fuck off)

but it wasn't like that, tuxedo, but they'll probably pay for it because they're the staverting persen type because they are supposedly more like poor diggers persen or personality fuck on because a guy doesn't need to fuck more than two garu hushelit poor shit's because they always wanted bubblegum witch so yeah

So here going on happy drinks a disperit now a so semper a depresion a suck nife on how care it?

Nope sorry but it is true a say how later enifing heppend enifing because hey is a enifing boring a bruken so same a sinbert is a sins none lol

🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴🧋🦴

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: A Week in the Life of Dan and Phil!

Date video was published: 04/22/2018 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 376

A DITL-style video! The first one of those since Australia (unless you count Dan and Phil AND DOGS! which you could).

0:00 - love the crew member standing there to help but DNP just going too fast, lol

0:05 - what is Dan doing, lol

0:09 - “d-don’t do that” Dan had immediate regrets

0:15 - floppy Phil quiff 🥺

0:51 - aww at the pastel plushies in the background

1:02 - the “good vibes” shirt! sad that Phil doesn’t wear this one anymore because it shrunk. especially now that we know that DNP are always sending “vibes” to each other. Phil also even wore that red jacket for his passport photo at this time...the II branding was strong

1:16 - extreme shaky-cam. filming while walking does not work that well

1:40 - ahahaha “I’ve already done enough yoga with you” reference to the yoga challenge bit of Giving The People What They Want

1:53 - “this is literally pornography” 😳 for Dan at least I guess... I am impressed with Phil’s all-in-one-motion stand there

2:01 - Dan once again with a strange sitting position

2:22 - they would see the real set for the first time a few days after this video was posted

2:27 - awww at Dan’s soft voice for the “for you, Phil”

2:41 - I mean...that is probably a 6-foot tall door which isn’t that short

2:47 - Dan smile 🥺

2:59 - <surreal meme appears fullscreen> of course

3:18 - even while rehearsing together all day...still having lunch together too 😭 wanting to spend that much time with another person is really something

3:25 - not even close with that throw from Dan 😂

3:40 - Phil getting so high-pitched with nervousness there. and I love most of the crew in the background not even caring what is happening, lol

4:01 - “it’s actually nice” what was Phil expecting, lol

4:06 - “stop doing that” as he zooms in on it more ...alright

4:27 - well then.

4:33 - “hello nips” wtf. also the banter back and forth on it afterwards is great

4:52 - “pigeon fest” was what they did for April Fool’s Day in 2018. also, Phil with matching socks! that plant does survive and thrive

5:07 - still shocked they filmed basically in bed and then put it in the video. 2018...so loud

5:28 - also jesus christ Dan’s hands are huge. how does he even type on that laptop

5:46 - I know this is a meme reference (right?) but Dan saying “six me” in that voice is um. something.

5:52 - that sweatshirt looks like it would be very hot to rehearse in

6:10 - LMAO at Phil desperately covering his dick. and the crew laughing in the background throughout this clip

6:18 - and Phil telling Dan “cover your balls, it does hurt” but Dan choosing to protect his face instead 😂 I guess we know what’s important to each of them, ahahaha

6:34 - they are having fun with this

7:05 - love that Dan is so anti-props while Phil has an entire props chest at home

7:13 - that is...quite the selection especially before seeing the show at all

7:43 - nice dodge there from Phil, and then straight to the banana eating, lol. which Phil did not have to include in the video but did even after saying not to film it

7:51 - god I love this casual clip that doesn’t even have anything to do with the show 😭 like...Dan just spending time in the lounge while Phil plays a video game. a regular evening.

8:12 - Dan’s red patch is out. also, I love that we found out in one of the stereo shows that Phil is the one who encouraged Dan to play piano for part of the show

8:33 - fond teasing

8:35 - again, before knowing where this falls in the show...this was quite the teaser, haha

8:52 - and now we have to live with the knowledge that these came from a sex shop...thanks stereo era

9:18 - oh Phil...that was an easy one!

9:39 - love that Dan does not approve of that question. and that in typical little-brother fashion, Phil just shocks him again 😂

9:52 - love the random things scrolling across the screen in the background

10:04 - so much detailed planning

10:20 - and implying that without it, they would just stand next to each other the whole time

10:25 - haircut time! both of their hair was very long in the previous clips. also, having someone come and give you a haircut in your own bedroom sounds quite convenient. also the haircut guy wearing a very Dan-esque shirt

10:35 - awww at encouraging Dan 🥺

10:45 - another clip they really didn’t have to include but chose to

10:51 - Dan had posted pictures of that and some of the concept art previously

11:16 - lol at the different accent Phil is putting on for each of them

11:51 - Dan really wants to put meaning on things

12:02 - the merch was released just a few days after this video

12:22 - so much back and forth between the living flat and filming flat in this video

12:29 - “you’re not naked, are you?” wtf Phil

12:50 - “you’re pulling it off” Phil is used to Dan’s ...unique...fashion choices at this point I think. Dan liked it enough to post photos in it that day too

13:03 - lots of social media content from this warm day...a Phil tweet and Instagram photo (posted a couple days later) too

13:29 - Dan was not enjoying the wasps that came out in the warm weather

14:12 - it does look so dystopian compared to all the other buildings

14:37 - how even. so lucky

14:45 - Phil’s got the same shirt on but Dan’s changed out of the romper

15:08 - Phil sticking to the “everything is improved with a bit of glitter” bit, haha

15:29 - “foot content”. also, still have all the TATINOF cubes left in teh background as decoration from the Easter baking video

15:38 - now Phil has changed into comfy pjs. also, sitting right next to each other on the couch, again after spending the whole day together already... and more “foot content” although Phil’s in this case

16:10 - love Phil filming Dan like this. same vibe as him filming Dan directing the trailer in The Making Of ‘The Amazing Book is Not on Fire’

16:26 - this must have been the very last day of rehearsals. don’t know about that singing...

16:48 - Phil watching Dan talk in this car clip 🥺

17:23 - Dan must have won...we never see Phil wearing those sunglasses

17:26 - Phil had posted a photo with the cherry blossom back in early April when it was blooming

17:55 - they really did start posting insta stories in the days right after this (1, 2)

18:49 - literally almost entirely fried things and dips there

Unlike Giving The People What They Want, this probably does make a “top 10″ list of joint videos for me. I love it so much. I think I just like the casual style a lot.

Phil posted this less than a week before their first II show in Brighton. They also hung out with PJ and Sophie while they were there. Also these (1, 2) stories. 👀 And this one.

[jensonsbuttons]

hello and welcome to another addition of "katie goes through the answers of the "tell me something funny" question on my quiz" brought to you via request from @lancestrolls !!!!

we got some *pretty* wild responses and i cannot wait to share them. i didn't go through all of them because there's been a lot of people taking it the past few days and i accidentally hit the back button so i lost my space and don't want to scroll that far! that being said, let's get into it:

- Once again to all those that said “my life” or “life” or any variation………you good???

- “I banged an F1 driver's dad but I won't say which one” - what a way to start this list

- “my mother (70) keeps a plastified photo of kimi raikkonen winning his wcd in her wallet because, I quote "he repels off bad luck. Trust me" - incredible

- “What's an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard? The space bar” - thats an out of this world joke if i say so myself

- “there’s something lose between my legs apart from the obvious” - nice one.

- “something funny” - a classic

- “Was walking home from school and because it recently snowed, there were some children having a snowball fight. Like 6 to 8 years old. I went past them and saw that one of the older boys was throwing a snowball onto one of the smaller children. Cue the small child absolutely yelling "you fucking wanker". Had to walk away quickly to not burst out laughing ^•^” - love this story about a young guenther steiner

- “everyday I think about Nelson Piquet starting next to Andrea DeCrasheris and being like I want to die instead of driving” - SORRY???

- “I have a sound engineer friend from Poland.and a Czech one too and a Czech one too” - sad to say it took me reading out loud to get it but when I did absolute chuckles.

- “it's a yoke ! A YOKE !!”

- To the person that left their twitter handle and wants to be friends that’s fine but uhhh I do not use twitter

- “pls I need you to know theres a video of Nico Rosberg getting beaten by a 9 year old in mini carts and its the reason I stay alive” VIDEO PLEASE

- “pierre gasly reminds me of that chipped tea cup from beauty and the beast and idk why lol” - THIS IS. SO FUNNY??? AND THE PERSON THAT SUBMITTED IT PUT DOWN THE NAME CHARLES.

- “Cats wearing socks” - kitten mittens??????????

- To the person that said you aren’t funny but wished me a good day/night, thank you and also don’t sell yourself short.

- Idk why but this is the second time I’ve looked through results and both times someone has just said “frog.”

- “I hope you're doing well, and your bed is nice and warm and cozy!!” THANKS. right back at you pal.

- “here's a yoke my 7 year old nephew told me: what word has the most letters? postoffice.”

- “My cat is named shitfur and shes actually pretty cool and my family horse is a himbo who once put his snoot in the anthouse and he sneezes ants for a week” - apologies to your horse but this is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard

- “what does the buffalo say to his son when he leaves for college?? bison” - a classic

- “I was supposed to study for my "general surgery" exam but here we are, hello” - best of luck pal please do good surgery

- “ok….this is not funny but i do believe lewis would have been a club promoter in another life” - *scribbles notes furiously* okay and tell me more about that

- “KACHOOOOWWW THE FANBASEE”

- “Haas WCC” - RIP

- “everyone is convinced i’m half in love with this guy but i only made people believe that so they don’t know that i’m crushing on his best friend instead. send thoughts and prayers.” - THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS PAL

- and finally someone just wrote: “dicks”

[whipbogard]

Do you happen to have any jaydick hidden gem fic recs?

Hello! Sorry that it took me a while to get back coz I had to filter through my bookmarks lol

Anyway, here are some of the lesser known (imo they definitely deserve more kudos!!!) fics that I really love

A Chance After Midnight by chewysugar [T] - Jason received a pair of warm, comfy socks from Dick for Christmas and it awakened some feelings. 

5 Times Jason Sang "You Are So Beautiful" + 1 Time Someone Sang It To Him by AuroraExecution [T] - because Jason is a big sap 

That Promised Land by geckoholic [T] - The soul mark on Dick’s wrist is not Jason’s :’) I really love this; it’s a very realistic take on the soulmate trope.

And fics listed below may be triggering and/or not so wholesome-y  so please heed all the warnings in the tags and also my summary

Alone With You by Janecat [E] - Jason took up the Batman cowl in this canon-divergent of Battle for the Cowl. Dick suffers from Stockholm Syndrome.

The Leaden Echo by Narcissistic_Ninny [E] - Per the author’s summary:  You'll remember all this when I'm gone. Jason always leave after sex, despite whatever it is he’s feeling for Dick.

Mementos by Ischa [E] - They resolve their issues through fighting that usually leads them to fucking. It’s not healthy and they both know it.

[imissjoongsmullet]

Something Better (1/2)

Pairing: Bang Chan x reader

Genre: fluff/angst (will lead to smut eventually because hi hello it’s me writing about Chan)

Summary: You and Chan have been best friends since before you can remember but now that you’re in college, things start to feel strange, especially with the way he acts when it comes to your boyfriend.

Read part 2

Warnings: part 1 of 2 (probably), cutesy friendship stuff, lots of stupid banter, bit of suggestive conversations, a good dash of angst, Changbin as your boyfriend (do you need a warning for that lol), oh and though this one is pretty clean, there will be smut in later chapters.

Word Count: 2k

Author’s Note: Ok so I’m going to try to keep this to 2 chapters but I can’t promise anything. Anyone who follows me knows I tend to get carried away it’s a thing... Also, yes, this is such a cliché trope but BOY DO I LOVE IT! Thanks again for the request. I had a great time writing this!

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Five minutes to four. Almost there. The old man at the front of the auditorium had been droning on about the history of bleebidiblah wherever for the past two hours and you were very much ready for it all to end and for the weekend to begin. You heard a pencil drop beside you and turned to see your friend pick it back up and place it between his upper lip and nose.

“Looking great,” you whispered, fighting back a smile.

“I know,” he snickered, making the thing drop into his lap for the dozenth time that class.

Chan was kind of an idiot. But he was also kind of your best friend. You’d grown up in the same neighborhood and had been inseparable since kindergarten. He was the first person you’d went to when you’d found out Santa wasn’t real, the first person you’d ever sneaked out of the house to go to a party with and the first person you’d ever gotten blackout drunk with; not to mention he was the only one who knew about your irrational fear of oven toasters. He knew everything about you and you knew everything about him. You were a team, tied together so much so, that you’d even decided to follow each other to the same college.

“Hey,” he nudged your shoulder, “how about we go downtown tonight and celebrate the weekend? I heard it’s prolonged happy hour at GB’s.”

The twinkle in his eyes made you want to say yes; it was a very tempting offer. “Can’t,” you replied eventually, scrunching up your nose at him.

“Come on, why not?” said Chan, leaning in and shaking your thigh, “we can go to karaoke after and you can crash at my place. I bought so many Doritos and they’re not gonna eat themselves.”

You bit your lip. “I kind of promised Changbin I’d go over tonight.” You already knew what was coming.

“Again?” he exclaimed a bit too loudly, drawing the attention of some of the other students, “you stayed over like three times this week already.” He sagged in his chair, rolling his eyes at you.

“Don’t be a child,” you retorted shoving him lightly.

That put some of his smile back in place. “You know, I think this Changbin guy isn’t the one for you,” said Chan, pretending to look pensive, “he’s got shifty looking eyes… and his nose is too big.”

You couldn’t keep from chuckling. Dipping down in your chair out of sight of your teacher, you turned to your friend. “You’re so full of shit, what does that even mean?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “maybe he’s having evil, shifty, big-nosed plans and you don’t even know it.”

“Your nose is big too, you know?” you said, pinching his nose.

He slapped your hand away and pinched you back, which made you cry out so loud the teacher went silent, eyes in your direction. Your cheeks flushed hot but just as you were about to apologize to the entire auditorium, the bell rang, pushing everyone around you into motion.

“Oops,” said Chan, eyes full of mischief as he rose from his chair along with everyone else.

You packed your things and followed him, kicking at his heels pettily.

“Seriously though, all the staying over,” Chan went on once you were out in the packed hallway, “sure he isn’t tiring you out?” The wicked grin on his face told you exactly what he meant.

“Chan, I swear if you don’t shut up,” you started but he interrupted fast.

“I just mean, you’re a studious girl,” he explained, grabbing your shoulders and rubbing them, “you can’t have a shifty-eyed boy like him distract you from your super important studies with sexy times.”

“And you taking me out to GB’s is helping me with my studies how exactly?”

“At least I’m not trying to put my dick in you every single night.”

“Chan!” you yelled out, looking around frantically at all the other students within earshot of your conversation.

“Aww,” Chan chuckled, hugging you closer, putting his lips near your ear, “you’re so cute when you’re all flustered.”

You were extremely happy he was behind you and couldn’t see the look on your face because you were even redder than before, staring eyes-wide into space. For as close and you and Chan were, you couldn’t help but feel shy whenever he mentioned sexual stuff around you. Not that you weren’t a sexual person; you just didn’t really know how to act around him when it came to those things. It didn’t help that you felt him all over you now, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand right up.

“Listen,” you said, shrugging out of his grip and trying to compose yourself, “how about we hang out tomorrow night? I’m sure the drinks will be just as toxic and delicious then.”

He came up next to you. “Fine, but you’re buying,” he said, “you’ve been leaving me lonely far too much. I demand compensation.”

You smiled and shook your head. “Fine.”

[I’ll be there in 10]

You hurriedly typed as you left Changbin’s place. You were meeting Chan for coffee. You were supposed to work on an assignment together that afternoon but you felt more than a little distracted after the previous night hadn’t ended up as fun as you’d hoped. You didn’t even really remember how it had started but you and Changbin had gotten into an argument that had lasted for most of the night. It wasn’t anything heartbreaking; it was just frustrating that your relationship wasn’t going the way you’d imagined it. And now you’d have to face Chan and pretend everything was okay because you were far too prideful to give him the satisfaction of saying ‘I told you so’.

He was waiting at your typical spot in the back of the café, his notebook ready on the table. You were happily surprised to find him jotting things down as you walked up. When you sat down, however, you realized he’d just been doodling obscenities in the margins of his book.

“Good afternoon,” you said, closing his book and grabbing the coffee he’d ordered for you.

You felt his eyes on you as you sipped the burning hot drink. You were just waiting for it at this point.

“So,” he started, amusement dripping down his face, “how was last night?”

“Shut up,” you countered, opening up your own book and looking anywhere but at him.

You and Chan were used to working together. Chan always had problems focusing and you were always there to give him the kick in the ass he needed to get the work done. On the other hand, Chan was the one coming up with the most creative ideas for your projects so, despite your differences, you worked quite well off of each other. 

For a while, things were fine: Chan was on his second coffee and the ideas flowed generously; you just had to write them down and turn them into usable content. Things were nice and light as they should be. You took a break and ordered waffles, enjoying them without any mention of Changbin; it was great. You talked about concerts you were excited to go to together in the coming months, showed each other movie trailers of stuff you really wanted to watch together and you laughed at the absolute dumbest things. You thought perhaps it was the caffeine that was making you both so silly.

Unfortunately, after that initial boost of energy, came the inevitable crash.

By the time Chan was picking at the ice at the bottom of his empty third coffee, things were started to shift. You were trying to finish up the assignment but it was clear Chan was starting to get burnt out. Gradually, conversation trickled away from the project at hand and into less productive territory.

“What is it you like about him?” he asked, staring zombie-like into his cup.

“Not now, Chan,” you sighed, eyes on your laptop screen. You felt his fingers at your side, poking lazily.

“No, come on,” he said, voice sleepy, “I wanna know.”

You stopped typing and took a deep breath.

“He’s—” you started, trying to think of something while your head replayed how you’d argued the night before.

Chan let out a chuckle. “Yeah, he sounds great.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you groaned, a little harsher than you’d meant it, “let’s just get this done.”

But Chan didn’t let up. Your inability to define your love for Changbin had apparently made him very eager to tease you and it was getting harder and harder to ignore him.

“I bet he sleeps with his socks on,” he said, sipping his empty drink loudly, “weirdo.”

“Chan please.”

“Tell me he doesn’t.”

“Chan.”

“He totally does, doesn’t he!”

“Chan I swear if you don’t shut up I’m gonna kick you where it really hurts!”

“Fine,” he said, still laughing, putting up his hands in defense, “jeez, I was just having fun.” Then he came closer and, entirely oblivious, wrapped his arms around you tight. “No more coffee for you, it makes you mean.” He gave your temple a quick kiss and, chuckling, got up from his seat.

“Gotta pee, this coffee is going right through me, be right back.” 

It occurred to you, as you watched him walk off, how odd your relationship with Chan was. Or maybe Chan was just an odd person? Or maybe he was simply acting oddly recently? You tried to shrug off the confusing thoughts and instead opened up your phone. The last text from Changbin was right at the top. You clicked it and smiled, rereading the sweet message he’d sent you the day before. You should probably make up with him soon, you decided.

After another half hour of half-assed adjustments, you and Chan finally called it a day.

“If you could input your slides right after mine, I’ll do the touch ups and bring it all to class,” you said, staring at your laptop screen, “we should probably go over it together the day before though.”

Chan’s face was in his arms on the table, looking drowsy. “Yeah, sounds good,” he mumbled, “I’ll type them out by Monday, we’ve got most of the stuff down already, it shouldn’t be hard.”

“Good,” you nodded, finally letting yourself sit back and relax. You closed your eyes in a long yawn as you stretched out your arms. When you opened them again Chan was looking at you.

“Tired huh?” he said, his lips curling up into a knowing smirk.

You stared back at your friend blankly. “You know what? Yes, I am actually. I stayed up most of the night.”

His eyebrows rose up in surprise but he didn’t speak.

“And that’s all I’m gonna say on the matter so can we please wrap this up now?” you added, “I think I should go see Changbin later tonight cause— well, we just have some things to discuss.”

“Wait, hold up,” said Chan, straightening up beside you and, finally, all laughter was wiped from his face, “I thought we were going out tonight.”

The memory of your promise hit you, throwing a small dose of guilt over your head. “I’m sorry, Chan, really. I just got some things to do—”

“Some things to do?” he interrupted, now definitely irritated, “you’re gonna ditch your best friend for some mediocre sex?”

“Chan that’s not what this is,” you started but you knew you’d set him off and there was no going back.

“Whatever,” he snapped, “it’s fine I’ll call some people who actually wanna hang out—”

“Chan—” you tried, shocked at the rapidity with which his mood had switched.

“—instead of someone who’ll leave me for the first boy to give her the least bit of attention—”

“Hey!” you said, getting up from your seat, heating up from the sting of his words.

Chan got up as well, the look in his eyes pained. “I said it’s fine,” he repeated, placing some money on the table and walking out.

(part 2)

[rachaelswrites]

Rumors

Ransom Drysdale x daughter!reader

Your cousin Jacob starts a rumor about you and teases you about but you’ve had enough

Word Count: 1,596

A/N: this idea popped up in my head while I was in the shower lol. 

Warnings: language, implied student/teacher affair (no one actually did anything), justified fighting, mentions of Nazi child

You and Jacob tolerated each other. He was only a year older than you and you had some classes at school together, not to mention your mutual friends. Of course there was some teasing, but this time Jacob had crossed a line. You were struggling a little in your math class and stayed behind several times to get some help. Jacob -the little twit- thought it would be funny to joke with his friends about what kind of “help” you were getting. Being the assholes they are, they spread the word around that you were sleeping with a teacher to get ahead. You tried to ignore it the best you could but it got so big that the staff heard about it. Of course it was all fake, just Jacob being a dick. 

Things went downhill very quickly. Your math teacher resigned in fear of ruining his reputation. You tried explaining that nothing happened to your principal but she decided she had to talk to your dad.

That’s where you were now. Waiting for Ransom to get to the school. You were always a good kid for the most part. Only getting into small trouble; nothing that ever involved the principle calling. You were seated in one of the chairs in her office when you heard the main doors open. You turned and saw your dad in his usual brown coat talking to the receptionist. She points in your direction and he nods. You quickly turn back around and look at the floor. Not wanting to make eye contact with your dad. When he enters the office, the principal greets him warmly. 

“Thank you for meeting here on such short notice Mr. Drysdale. I wanted to talk to you about an issue involving Y/n.” 

Ransom pulls his sunglasses off and takes the seat next to you and waits for her to continue. 

“It has come to the attention of many students and staff that a rumor of an affair between a faculty member and your daughter. Things have gotten very out of control. So much so that the teacher in question has resigned.” 

Ransom whips his head down to look at you.Your head was down, your eyes tracking the way your feet swing back and forth, trying to hide the tears running down your cheeks. Hearing it out loud makes you sick. You could kill Jacob if you had the chance.

“Y/n,” Ransom says. 

When you don’t react he says it again.

  “Y/n look at me.” 

You follow his instructions this time. 

He turns his body in the chair towards you,“Did you sleep with that teacher?” he questions.

You shook your head. 

Ransom turns to the principle and throws his hands up. “Well she said she didn’t. Problem solved.”

The principal shook her head,“I’m afraid that it’s not that easy Mr. Drysdale.”

“What do you mean? She said she didn’t do it. Get the teacher back and everyone can go on with their lives,” At this point he sounded tired.

“I’m sorry Sir, but it’s a bit more complicated than that. The reputation of the scho-”

“Your reputation is more important than my daughter’s education?” Ransom interrupted. 

You looked at your dad with wide eyes, knowing that whatever happened next wouldn’t be good.

 “I pay too much damn money for this shit. Y/n get your things we’re leaving.”

 You opened your mouth to protest but he held his hand up in your face. You quickly stood up and grabbed your school coat and bag. Ransom followed you to the door. 

He turned and said, “The un-enrollment papers will be turned in tomorrow.” 

Ransom led you out of the school with his hand on your shoulder, and opened the door of the Beamer for you. You got in and put your things in the back. Ransom got into his drivers seat and mumbled something about that school being a waste. Your hands were in your lap and fiddling with your fingers. 

“You know, you’re too good for that school right? I only sent you there because that’s what everyone wanted,” your dad said, trying to make you feel better.

“I know. Probably just trying to get me to be like them.” 

He laughed at the obvious distaste you have for the family. You were the youngest in the family and were often compared to everyone else and ridiculed. Ransom wasn’t stupid. He knew it was happening so he always made excuses to not go to family events for your sake. He always made you his top priority and would do anything to protect you. 

Several weeks later you went back to a new school. This was a public school and you enjoyed it so much more. All the kids were nicer and the classes were easier. And best of all Jacob wasn’t there and you didn’t have to see him. Unless you had a family thing; which thankfully wasn’t too often. Most of the family knew you left the school but not the why. Ransom let you decide if you wanted to go to Harlan’s with him while he was working with him but you declined. He understood. When the family asked why you left, Ransom simply shrugged and told them to ask you yourself. But this time you couldn’t get out of it. It was the annual Christmas get-together. You had to go. No question.

Ransom was waiting for you at the front door. He knew that you were nervous and didn’t plan on spending a lot of time there. Just a quick hello and maybe a drink or two. You made your ways down the staircase and joined your dad at the door. 

He put his arm around your shoulders and kissed the top of your head, “Say the words and we’ll leave okay?” 

You nodded, too nervous to say anything.

Once at the party, you relaxed a little. Nobody really brought up the school thing. You were very grateful. Ransom stuck by your side the whole time, or you stuck to him. Either way there was no way he was letting you out of his sight;especially with Jacob around. You were upset with him and it was very noticeable. You had a bit of a temper sometimes and Ransom tried to hide it from the family because he was worried he would be blamed. Nobody really believed he was a great dad. No matter how many times you told your grandparents. 

About an hour or two in you had no problems so your dad left you alone for a few minutes to go to the bathroom. You stood off to the side of the party minding your own business. You haven't seen Jacob in a while, however that relief was short lived when you saw him march down the stairs. You tried to go into a different room but he already saw you. 

“Hey Y/n,” he sneered, “How's public school going?” 

The conversation in the room died down a little. Your family was full of eavesdroppers, but at least they tried to be subtle. 

“It’s good,” you responded. You were just trying to get him off you until your dad showed back up,“I met some new friends. They're really nice. A lot nicer than you.”

“Are they now? How are the teachers though? That’s the important question.” he shot back. The anger was bubbling inside of you. You didn’t want to talk about this, you had already put it behind you. But you had to stay calm on the outside.

“They’re good too. Much better than the others.”

“I bet they are. I’m sure you’ve alrea-” 

Before he could finish his sentence, your anger bubbled over and you threw yourself at him and punched him in the nose. He grabbed your shoulders and pinned you to the floor. You managed to wrestle yourself on top of him but he pulled a fistful of your hair. You slapped him across the face and he let go but used his other hand to sock you in the eye; for sure leaving a bruise. Before you could land another hit, you were pulled off by the back of your sweater. Your dad stood in front of you, blocking you from Jacob. He looked pissed.

“In the car. Now,” he said pointing towards the front door. 

You huffed and turned on your heel, walking to the door and slamming it shut. Ransom was giving you time to cool off before he talked to you. He sighed and turned towards his younger cousin; now holding his nose and blubbering to his mom. Walt looked at him and shoved a finger in his face.

“That kid is out of control! She needs to apologize to Jacob right now! She broke his nose!” 

Ransom looked to see the others' reactions. They seemed more concerned for the Nazi boy than you. Even Linda and Richard. Ransom rolled his eyes and left the house in a similar manner to you. 

Ransom walked around the front of the car and sat next to you in the driver's seat. He put his seat belt on and turned to you, “Okay Y/n. What the hell was that?” 

You looked up to him, expecting to see anger. But you saw concern written across his face. You shrugged your shoulders.

“I dunno. I guess the Nazi just needed his ass beat.” 

Ransom sighed and turned forward in his seat. He paused for a moment before he burst out laughing. He started the car and drove off. Still laughing. 

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