#her name is not meme its MeMe as in who is the best girl Me! Me!

[inf3ct3dd]

streamer!ellie headcanons

warnings: yo no se

content : streamer!ellie headcanons 🔥🔥

authors note : the streets r calling and they’re telling me to write streamer ellie hcs….

- def started off as a faceless streamer. she wasn’t really comfortable on camera, and she just thought it would be way easier. you can only see her shoulders-down leaving her (deliciosu. scrumptious. yummy) arms in the cameras view.

- her twitch user is “creeperewman” cuz shes like…discreetly hiding her initials and referencing the best minecraft parody ever 😕!!!

- bought the most random shitty mic and webcam and started streaming 🔥🔥 she never got rid of either of them its part of her odd loser charm

“‘fartmaster69:it’s probably cuz your camera’ it’s probably bc of YOUR CAMERA!!! theres nothing wrong w my camera bro 😞”

“don’t listen to them…ur perfect 🤫 IM NOT TALKING TO U GUYS IM TALKING TO MY CAMERA”

- only had a few viewers the first couple times she streamed, and it was some random 10 yr old who kept spamming “yassss” in the chat and some dude who said she was shit at minecraft 😞 he was LYING

- started off doing minecraft speed runs (or trying to) and got like way good over time

- she randomly started getting more and more viewers, because people kept posting abt her and calling her fine on tiktok , making edits of her hands and her voice 😭😭 (real)

- as she got more and more viewers, she started branching out more with the games she’d play. def loves shooter games like cod and pubg, but she’d also play like indie horror games like faith (omg markiplier fans would know)

- she has a orange cat she named garfield (cuz…of course she does) and he’s always sitting on her lap during her streams or messing w her setup 💔💔

- def put stickers all over her headset and showed them off all proud on stream

- designed her own cute banners and stuff for streams 😞!!!

- def had a subreddit/disc server with her viewers where she’d let them give her game recs or make memes of her

- ppl saw her guitar in the back of her streams and BEGGED HER to play it and she had her own lil concert stream !!! she was so freaking nervous and messed up a bunch the first like minute or two but like after that she was in the ZONE

“‘ewswife: i wish i was that guitar’ oh!! you guys are so…kind!!!”

- when she INSANELY hit 1k, she did a face reveal and she hit 10k the same day 😦 the amount of edits that ppl made was actually insane. ESP ONES MAKING FUN OF DREAMS FACE REVEALLLL

- started doing much more random shit on stream after she got more famous. she LOVES cooking on stream, and she’d start reacting to random shit ppl sent her on the subreddit

- she cut her hair on stream once, and everyone in the chat kept spamming “yo bob…is fye” for like 5 minutes 😪

- “you’re at work watching me? i hope you get fired. i mean. i hope you don’t get fired 😞”

- she gets so many thirst comments and like…is terrible at responding to them

“‘ewleftbicep: you look so vulnerable today’ WHAT”

- she has her own apartment cuz of her awesome streaming money 🔥🔥🔥 soundproofed walls too cuz she’s. loud.

- one day, you were walking on campus to a class. you had your headphones on, listening to your main playlist on shuffle, when you got stopped by someone. you pulled your headphones off your ears and gave the man in front of you a confused look. you looked down to his hands, holding a tiny mic, and another dude holding a camera.

“what song are you listening to?” he held the microphone towards you, awaiting your response.

you quickly responded “uhm, last goodbye, by jeff buckley.” and stood there awkwardly, pushing a piece of hair out of your face.

the man quickly thanked you and you walked away, slightly suprised.

- after a couple hours, the video had blown up and the comments were filled with people complimenting you.

pickleluna: jeff buckley girl is so fine

minyonlala: 3rd girl is so bad

rilakkila: I NEED JEFF BUCKLEY GIRL

and unknown to you, someone else found you on their fyp.

creeperewman: guys what is the 3rd girls @. im literally BEGGING BRO PLEASEEE

- ewleftbicep: BEING DESPERATE ON MAIN IS CRAZY

- ewsgirlf: random tiktok girl stole my wife 💔

- elliewilliamsidechick: guys im literally the 3rd girl 😂😂😂

- it didn’t take long for your phone to be blown up with people sending you the video, tagging you in funny comments, and finding your instagram. you watched the video, and saw ellie was the top comment. you checked her profile, and saw how FINE she was, and immediately responded

- y/nmainn: guys 😳😳😳 what if i was the third girl 😳😳

- ellie checked her phone and saw thousands of people tagging your comment, and she wasted zero time following you on tiktok. and your instagram. its not stalking if its in your bio, right?

- you two immediately hit it off, and ellie loved the fact that you had absolutely no idea who she was. to you, she was just some hot girl. not some famous streamer you were obsessed with.

- she didn’t even realize you two went to the same school until she saw you in her astrophysics class one day, and she almost had a heart attack when you waved at her and walked over to sit next to her.

“what a coincidence.”

- she took you out on your first date to a planetarium, and not even a week after, asked you to be her girlfriend.

- she definitely teaches you how to play her favorite games. but she gets wayyyy defensive when you beat her.

“im just letting you win.”

“beginners luck.”

but shes SO COCKY when she beats you

“hey, don’t be so hard on yourself after this. not your fault im a professional!”

“aw, maybe one day you’ll be as good as me”

- definitely helps you build your own pc.

- loves watching you play things like animal crossing or stardew valley, always lays on your shoulder while you’re on the couch.

“why are you being so mean to gaston :((“

“because hes UGLY and he has an ugly house and he’s ruining my village.”

“wowww you’re bullying a little bunny man because he doesn’t fit your aesthetic 😒 so mean”

- if you like more aggressive games like cod, she loves listening to you talk shit while you play and always makes fun of people with you. (she thinks its hot when you’re mean to people)

- her chat absolutely loves you, and every time you stream together its a continuous stream of “me and who” and “when is it my turn 😪”

[sant-riley]

[Task force 141 + others with Gen z!reader] [pt3]

A/N: Some of these you /may/ have seen on tiktok, that is me who posted them on tiktok. I am green haired bitch so no I didn't steal anything LMAO. I hope these live up to yalls expectations.

The last two of these my lovely friend gave me inspiration for <3 @frogchiro

Warnings: She/her pronouns swearing, age gaps, tiktok memes (like always lmk if I miss something!)

~

You steal Prices hat on numerous occasions bc its a fashion abomination and you refuse to let this man wear it around you. You hide around base as frequently as you can.

Jokes on you though bc he will literally wait til it's your birthday and buy you a matching one and will laugh at your scream of disgust.

Gaz one ups him by gifting you a matching hat as well, putting it on your head as he flicks the brim.

"Thanks Gaz! I love it!

"And not mine?"

"You're on thin ice, old man."

Price gets gifted a set from manscaped by the guys as a gag gift. He uses it for his beard bc he never bothered to look into why everyone was laughing around him.

Price takes your phone when you try and show him memes, squinting hard as fuck like a dad 💀

Soap, if yall have the time off takes you to scottish football games and it's a whole thing. You sitting there while he gets drunk out of his fucking mind, hollering and whooping and you're there trying to sink into your seat.

Chances are someone's gonna shove you and you're gonna trip and fall bc everyone's so amped up and Soap threatens to beat the shit out of them. It's a miracle y'all don't get kicked out 💀

If you have tattoos, Soap is the first one to take a marker set and color them in and adding his own additions. If you were ever to get them actually tattooed, he would tear up and pretend he isn't emotional about it.

"You like me that much Bonnie?"

He would get something of you too, so it evens out. This also makes Ghost in turn get a tattoo for you bc he refuses to be out done and he's just as attached

Neither of them get your call sign or your name, but they get something personal to what each of them associate you with.

The first time you meet Alex, you're across the room doing something that has your focus and didn't realize this is actually your first time meeting him. You ask him for a hand only to look up and see him extend his prosthetic at you with a smile and you scream.

"You asked for a hand but best I can do is a Leg." Price comes running and he sees the scene and rolls his eyes.

Everyone single one of them are the definition of "my girl can wear whatever she wants bc I'll break your jaw." meme btw. You can take care of yourself but you never need to bc they will beat a bitch up.

Laswell invites you constantly to come over and meet with her wife, esp if you don't have a mother figure. She always always tries to come on base to see you and always has a birthday and Christmas present on it's way to you wherever you may be. Her wife loves you to death and they've pretty much adopted you and you cannot escape it, oh well.

Gaz buys you whatever your little heart desires, especially if he's deployed away in a country where they sell exclusives of whatever you enjoy. It's a pain in the fucking ass to try and ship a anime figure to your place from Japan but he's gonna try his best.

Ghost doesn't share his food, or at least it was before you came along. He groans and grumbles about having to feed you but he wouldn't do it if he truly didn't want to. Soap asks and Ghost tells him to fuck off.

If you watch anime, please imagine trying to get everyone in the room and trying to explain who Dabi is. They're all so fucking old they keep thinking you're referring to the elf from Harry Potter and it infuriates you to no end.

Soap and Gaz know better but it's funnier to see you mad.

Being the youngest, they absolutely force you to do the jobs they don't want to. Whether it be cleaning the barracks, to cooking dinner when able, it doesn't matter bc they'll all pull rank on you.

"You're the new kid, get to it then."

"Ghosttttt-"

"Don't Ghost me."

Soap is the kind of motherfucker to play the fifa games and doesn't understand that he's stupid for buying it every single year bc there are no changes oncesoever. He will not listen to you about it and you've given up.

Ghost will see you talk about your etsy list and will ask for your phone, you trust him so of course you hand it over. He hands it back to you and it's just, all purchased. He says nothing while he sips on his tea while you scream at him asking why he did it. He won't tell you but it's because he knows it makes you happy and it'll keep your mood up, giving you a reason to be motivated to get through missions. It's also because he knows that retail therapy is a thing for your generation.

Soap, if you do any, is actually really good at doing your makeup! He knows how to do everything and he refuses to elaborate. (As a kid he'd do his mom's makeup when she went out for dates) he's the one who helps you doll up if you're going undercover.

Ghost, Gaz and Price find you unfunny whenever you make a "wow I wish British people were real." You say it so often and it gets annoying but they also just accept it's a part of life.

Soap personally enjoys the "SCOTLAND FOREVERRRRRRR" meme and will scream it with you. Ghost threatens to cut yalls tongue out.

Other parts can be found under #Kayla writes <3

Taglist:

@devilsfoodcake22 @simon-rileys-princess

@stupid-ninja @milkmily

@lune-la-chanson @tamayakii

@teacupcollector @sweet-as-an-angel

@perilous-pasta @ihatethisappsomuchitpains

@marsbar127xx @baddump

@xncasi @king-cookiex

@palomaxaxaxa @amatchasky @wolfyland07 @diejager

@hailstrum18 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @mzfandom

If you'd like to be tagged, go to my pinned post and comment there :)

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’ve read through some of your old posts and I gotta say…I love me some angst. May I kindly, pretty please with a plastic cherry on top, ask for TADC gang with an S/O who abstracted a while back, but then they ‘respawn’ one day with a glitch affect about them, and their memory was totally wiped? Like it was their first day in the digital world? The glitch affect doesn’t hurt them or anyone like what happened to Ragetha and Pomni btw.

TADC cast x mended!reader

so funny story i was about to sit down and work on this about 4 hours ago but then my parents said they were going to watch the fnaf movie in the garage and i literally dropped everything and watched it so uh uh. the reason the grind stopped was because of fnaf movie and now im kinda tempted to pick up my fnaf fic again anyways! i did a similar post, here! jax and caines parts here will be short, really only focusing on the glitch aspect for them in this post, since the other half has already been written!

CAINE:

just got flashed with an image but you know that scene where the iron giant is trying to pick the boy up but hes like limp or something and the giant pulls back (ive never watched iron giant i just know this clip from a meme) i think it would be like that if he tried to poof your glitching away; but like. in an emotional way, if that makes sense. like its the same kind of carefulness and worry, i think... bonus if he does more damage than not

JAX:

honestly a little too scared to even touch you out of the deep seeded fear of getting all glitchy as well. like he knows it wont spread to him, but you know...

POMNI:

similar to jax i think she would instinctively avoid touching you even though she knows its fine... the whole hand thing making her overly cautious for future scenarios, you know? i think she would slip up and accidentally bring up something you and her did before you abstracted, or call you an endearing name before abruptly stopping herself and trailing off, sad stuff. grief makes her tear between wanting to find an exit faster and trying to make you remember/stay for you

RAGATHA:

poor girl :( i think she would genuinely try to make an effort to re/befriend you and try not to have her hopes too high for the two of you to get back together. if you hear about your past relationship and want to learn more about it, shell tell you what you want to know, but i doubt she would instantly start dating you again if you suggest the two of you trying to give the relationship a second shot... i think that would need some time

KINGER:

bro is gonna be going through it, first he loses his possible wife to abstraction and now he lost you.. got you back, but you dont remember anything. on top of that you look.. off.. sure it doesnt hurt you but it still looks like it would be uncomfortable, even if it isnt

stuck between longing to rekindle your old relationship and letting you go in order to allow himself to process this grief; the third option is potential abstraction for himself

ZOOBLE:

tries not to care. they want to forget everything like you did, they were finally starting to be normal after your abstraction. but now your back in a clean slate, mind wiped and memories gone. how does someone cope with that? as much as it hurts them they think it would be best for them to pretend you were a stranger again

GANGLE:

saying it again, poor girl. mix of pomni and ragatha here i think, like she keeps messing up and verbally reminiscing before realizing you cant relate to what shes saying anymore. will tell you anything you want to know about the past, but i think it would take a lot longer for her to consider getting with you again than ragatha. for both its kind of a "i dont want them to feel obligated to try because we were together once" type deal

[neteyamsilly]

: ̗̀➛ 𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈'𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

・❥・ 𝑰𝑹𝑴𝑨. she/her | 19 requests semi-open and selective primarily avatar (2009) & avatar: the way of water (2022)

MOST RECENT ⇉ i will soften every edge, 6

neteyam’s only daughter

☄. *. ⋆ ꒰ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐌 ꒱

irma mirmirs :: me talking/rambling irmaugh😩 :: me being nsfw on main, block this tag if you want to! irmarecs :: my sfw fic recs! irmarecs 👹 :: my VERY nsfw fic recs, feel free to block this tag if you're uncomfortable! irma mirma ask mask :: general tag for asks i receive irmasks: [blank] :: tag for users who send me asks off anon, you can search for your user with this! irmanons: [blank] :: tag for anons who frequent the blog to talk to me and have claimed a regular name for themselves. ( my anons ♡ !! :: ramble anon, nini, 🫀, 🎷🐝, lunchcryer ) irmanons: unknown :: regular anons irmemes: [series name] :: memes for my series

・❥・ i will soften every edge, hold the world to its best pairing(s) :: sully family x sully! reader dad!jake sully x daughter!reader genre :: angst, hurt/comfort blurb :: As Jake Sully's oldest daughter, you never see eye to eye with him, always challenging him and pushing his buttons to the limit. What happens when things go too far one day? (based on light by sleeping at last) fic tag :: 📖: light status :: ongoing | AO3 LINK main storyline :: one | two | three | four | five | six ࣪ᥫ᭡ wonderful oc portrait the kind @raaanciid has made for the oc they imagine for the series !! ࣪ᥫ᭡ memes and video the awesome @ang-taylorsversion has made !!

・❥・ my house of stone, your ivy grows pairing(s) :: neteyam (20) x anurai!reader genre :: enemies to lovers, angst, AU, based on bridgerton season 2 blurb :: Neteyam's convinced the girl blessed by atokirina upon her family's request for Uturu is specifically sent for him as a mate, worthy and fit for the position of the next Olo'eyktan's companion, she has to be. Or else, why would there be a sign like this? Too bad her older sister is hellbent on getting in his way and under his skin. fic tag :: 📖: ivy status :: work in progress | AO3 LINK main storyline :: introduction

Being Neteyam's Only Daughter, headcanons.

[blond-jerk-tourney]

Strawberry Bracket: Bracket Finals

Propaganda from submitters Under Cut

Nanami Kiryuu

She's the mean girl of the show, and a pretty interesting take on the "bitchy vain school rival of the protagonist" trope. She spends most of her early screentime being a bully and most of her later screentime being both the biggest loser imaginable and deeply sad/troubled (which still does not erase how much of an asshole she can be). She even laughs like your stereotypical mean rich girl. Nanami has so many problems and sucks so so bad. I adore her.

Shes a psychotic bully who seeks to ruin the lives and reputations of any girl who gets more of her brothers attention than she does. Reasons Nanami Kiryuu deserves to win: - she has made many attempts at physical and psychological terrorism against Anthy Himemiya (including a plotted wardrobe malfunction at a crowded social gathering) simply for drawing more of her brother's attention than her - tried to fill Anthy's bedroom with wild animals (a snail, a snake, and a live octopus) to make her out to be a freak only to find that her room was already full of wild animals - she bankrolled an elementary schoolers crush on her to turn him into her personal boyservant - briefly non-personed a member of her bully entourage for sharing an umbrella with her brother - received a luxury cowbell due to a shipping error and smugly wore it to school for weeks flaunting it like high coture - when her bully entourage rebelled against her due to her brothers manipulation she brought them back in line by just straight up beating the shit out of all of them - all in all just a petty, goonish motherfucker (she also does the ohohohohoho anime girl laugh)

she's blond: despite being Japanese her hair is yellow, unlike her brother's. yellow is even her image color. she's a jerk: introduced as a jealous and dishonest scheming bully, she is one of the more outwardly antagonistic characters in a cast where pretty much everyone is a Real Piece Of Work she's the best: the quintessential ohoho-laughing ojou, her fully-realized character arc makes people both laugh and cry even her sidekick is a blond jerk! how many blond jerks have their own blond jerk sidekick?

i don't know what you've heard but she's NOT the kind of girl who lays eggs!

The token mean rich girl of the franchise. Does the classic "ohohoho" laugh. Doesn't like either of our main characters. She never actually seems to get her way, and secretly has a lot of her own problems. also she lays eggs and turns into a cow

Absolutely THE quintessential anime mean girl. I mean literally her laughing is THE meme for the hohohoho anime laugh. Needs attention So Badly and straight up bullies anyone she deems a threat to that (so basically Everyone). I haven’t finished RGU but apparently she duels with the intent to kill and drowned a kitten once because it was taking up too much of her brother’s attention? Also she’s 13 which explains a lot

Char Aznable

He's extremely blonde and he's a total asshole. he has had a gay thing with 2 people and tried to kill both of them. he makes a new identity and its arguably more blonde and more of an asshole. look up Quattro Bajeena

Snooty little motherfucker supreme. "I have never betrayed anyone in my life" says man who spent his whole career lying to people. He's in love with his rival and he won't admit it. He's my silly rabbit. He is the "I came here to laugh at you" guy

Char is an environmental terrorist who dropped space colonies of people living in space onto earth so people would leave earth for the earth to heal from human damage. He's a prince that should have been assassinated seducing the new prince while undercover to kill the family that killed his family. Anyway vote for Char. He stole the name Char from some other guy from space Texas who he caused the death of

Excuse me that's not char aznable that's quattro bajeena, why would you ever confuse the two :/

[belphiesgirlfriend]

Obey me! Brothers music taste headcanons

——————————————————————————

more like ramblings than headcanons tbh but i had this stuck in my head and needed to get it out, also feel free to send requests for diff headcanons!

Cw’s: none!

Little bit satirical (i over exaggerate sometimes cuz it’s funny) but pretty in character overall i thinkk

——————————————————————————

Lucifer:

• You know this motherfucker listens to classical music and classical music only cuz he’s boring

• Okay but jokes aside i see him listening to like 30’s 40’s 50’s music especially the love songs.

• Like straight up fallout 4 soundtrack music, he’d listen to it while doing paperwork or unwinding

• He’d definitely be really prideful (no duh) about his taste in music, he’d feel all fancy and refined when he tells people

• Type of dude to be like “modern music simply can’t compare to the classics…” shut up grandpa we get it u know bach’s zodiac sign, penis size, and mothers maiden name

• Wants to be different so bad, he’d strictly listen to music from his vintage record player or some shit cause it’s the “most authentic” way to listen, fr acts like a manic pixie dream girl (he’d hit me upside the head if he heard me say that sorry luci🫶)

——————————————————————————

Mammon:

• r&b and spanish music

•but i feel like he’d like 2000s party music from all the clubbing and casinos

• def a weekend listener and like 90’s rap

• but also like i wouldn’t be surprised if he listened to some 90s rock too

• he’d listen 2 sublime or nirvana or local h (i’m projecting on the last one)

• but anyways he’d be a #1 rihanna fan he’d blast her music in his room but then deny liking her💀make it make sense!!

• also he knows her best album is loud CAUSE HE HAS TASTE!!

• also tyler the creator i get the vibe he’d love him

• kali uchis fan too

•ALSO i feel like he had a phase where he listened to juice wrld and was like “these cheating lying females….” after he got his heart broken by a witch YOU CANG TELL ME IM WRONG😭😭 it’s okay though cause he’s embarrassed by it now

• oh childish gambino too duh forgot about him

ALSO LET ME MENTION DINERO IS LITERALLY HIS SONG ITS ACTUALLY HIS

——————————————————————————

Levi:

• this one’s gonna be real fucking short IM SORRYYY

• he listens to anime openings and game soundtracks

• also vocaloid

• that’s literally all i can think of dude

• he’d be like “i don’t have time for normie music…”

• his room is literally that old caramelldansen meme from 2019/2020

——————————————————————————

Satan:

• this one was harder for me to pinpoint

• first instinct would be classical music but it’s canon he likes ska music too so 🤷‍♀️

• i really do feel like he’d listen to all types of music, like a true jack of all traits, if he likes it he likes it so his playlist is allllll over the place

• for some reason i get a vibe he’d really like 80s music in particular though

• the song that pops into my head is who can it be now? by men at work idk why

• maybe even older music i feel like he’d like sam cooke

• OH both him and belphie would like mazzy star and fiona apple idk why but they would

——————————————————————————

Asmo:

• okay crucify me for this one but…mitski I JUSG FEEL LIKE HE WOULD

• but i also see him loving lady gaga a lot cuz he has taste

•omg he’d listen to old katy perry too

•but yea also probably lil nas x he’d have a celeb crush on him

• oh tyler the creator too with his gay ass, him and mammon both love him, they def have done a duet to see u again

• he’d be a barb probably defend nicki too😭

• and as much as it pains me to say it, he’d fucking listen to ayesha erotica and be like “this is so good!!!”, hed post a devilgram story with one of her songs and then get cancelled on twitter

• “I made a severe and continuous lapse of judgement…” and then did the same thing a week later

——————————————————————————

Beel:

• type of guy when you ask him what music he listens to he goes “idk i don’t really listen to music”

• he legitimately looks up “hype playlist” on youtube to work out and that’s the extent of it

• really can’t see him being a big music guy

• if u invited him to a concert or something he’d go though for food

•he’d give you a piggy back ride so u can see better

• tbh if u were to put on music he would not care much no matter how good/bad it is

• you could walk in on him working out and literally listening 2 cbat or some shit

• HE LITERALLY IS CBAT GUY😭 he’d be like “i always use this song when i’m working out..

——————————————————————————

Belphie:

• emo fucker

• i feel like he’d like emo/ 90s rock ( but more “rockish” than mammons 90’s rock)

• but he’d also love any more relaxing music with softer vocals

• he’d be a deftones fan I KNOW GHATS FUCKING BASIC AND UR ROLLING UR EYES BUT LISTEN

• they have the combination of 90s rock but also more soothing calming vocals, theyd literally b perfect

• and for that reason his favorite albums r koi no yokan and saturday night wrist, also their self titled,

• would call mammon a poser for his music taste “nirvana isn’t even *real* rock idiot🙄”

• but nah, also like i said in satans fiona apple and mazzy star fan

• he’d suck so bad though he’d go on twitter and be like, “if you like deftones ur a poser” (while being their number 1 fan, fucking brat) then turn off his phone and take a nap for the funny

[zeravmeta]

Super Sankta 2 Exu sounds like an excellent idea Zerav. For maximum meme, she's a John Wick style Guard- just uses guns to bash in people's skulls.

Super Sankta 2 Exu whose going John Wick style on people is funny but my concept for Exia Alter was always based on like, the concept that Skadi Alter first introduced that we all thought at the time was gonna be the standard fare for alters

My Ultimate Sankta vs Exia 3 concept was based around the idea of a "Bad End" Exia the way Skadi Alter is, where Exia would be further mechanized ala Executor and become an emotionless seraphim-type unit who would essentially be the ultimate Sankta weapon. This would happen as the result of Laterano having some kind of big event that would cause them to pull all remaining Sankta from all corners of Terra for their promised day of ascension where they would leave Terra and all its problems behind, with certain Sankta (Like Exia) essentially being the vanguards and protectors of these people (I essentially just took the idea of the Rapture and assigned it to the Sankta), with the event concept in question being Penguin Logistics invading this holy land to save their girl.

So like. you can imagine how hard ive been popping off with all the new lore reveals we've gotten over the past 2 years. That said, this concept is a little outdated, and just leaving it at that would be no fun

So here's my pitch for how Exia Alter 4: The Quest For Peace would go with modern foresight (added read more because reasons)

The Popes basement computer in Zwillingsturme just let out a directive that they need to gather their best Sankta to fight against the end of the world. This is in conjunction with the last few events squarely tying together Iberia's Seaborn plotline with both Laterano and Siracusa and their dividing faiths. Now, all of this is in conjunction with the hints we've been getting that Penguin Logistics is going to split up (Lappland and Mostima have already flown the coop, and currently the rest are in Siracusa helping Texas the Amogus, but that will likely not last especially bc Exia's own anniversary line all but majorly hints at this split happening because they all got different stuff going on)

If Penguin Logistics splits, Exia will well and truly be left without a support system.

Now, Exia has always been kind of off as far as Sankta go, because for all intents and purposes she shouldn't be out of place: We see just how Sankta tend to act in Guide Ahead, and Exia didn't really seem all that different. Yet, when we look at her history and actions (she was basically kicked out, she was super accident prone which made other Sankta hate her, as part of Penguin Logistics shes constantly drunk, Texas herself says that Exia being an optimist makes her different, etc), she's actually Really different.

Almost like she has an abnormality compared to other Sankta. Me and a few others (check out @annierosaart post here) have speculated on her being different, but we also don't really know WHY: Even if she was suddenly disconnected from the Sankta empathy powers, we don't see any indication of how, and unlike Ezell we don't have any sort of 'wake-up' moment for her.

But given the weirdness about her and her lines, I think I know what the exact nature of her abnormality may be (and heres my pitch) when looking at the most relevant characters who have abnormalities, namely Executor and Arturia, because I think she falls in line with them (shameless plug to my old exia/executor buddies post):

Executor's abnormality is that his emotions are incredibly muted compared to others. He isn't heartless or emotionless, but more that his heart and mind runs on rationale and logic first and foremost, which almost disqualified him from being canonized had he also not been Laternos single most competent man because saint fedex is entirely disconnected from caring about petty things like being racist.

Arturia's abnormality is that she is receptively empathetic to the point she has nothing within her. She can remove the inhibitions of people, and this is in service to understanding them, because she lacks an understanding of herself: She has a grand dream of an empathy for the world even beyond the Sankta Empathy power, and to accomplish this she draws out the emotions that people hide. As a result, she reflects the emotions of others within herself and thus is incredibly empathetic to the point she's also lacking in emotions and a self.

Exia? I think that her abnormality is that she's too emotional, that the emotions she feels are far more amplified compared to others.

I believe this for a couple of reasons: All the weirdness surrounding her aside, whats the one thing that's always defined Exia? Her Rapid Casting EX. It's always been memed about, but simply firing a single bullet from a gun is akin to casting an Arts attack, with guns serving as a type of wand in these cases. Exia is the only character within the series whose been noted to be so fast with her arts and casting.

This post here does a phenomenal job expanding on this point, but Arts are an expression of the soul, they're influenced by emotions and become stronger with them because they are ultimately expressions of the self, which all characters in and of themselves having a "unique" arts inherent to them. Hell, all of Leithaniens arts are based around using musical expression, while Sarkaz are noted for their arts based on souls and memory, with the literal main heroine of Arknights having an empathy based arts superpower.

Exia, having Super Emotion as her Sankta halo abnormality, could explain why shes so good at gun, even without Oripathy, because said emotions are boosting her casting ability. Remember, anyone can use originum arts, it's just that oripathy is needed for them to be able to do it without a casting device.

This heightened emotion could also possibly explain her crush on Mostima, and even why Mostima is so weird/cruel about her: Mostima was simply a childhood friend alongside her and her sister, and yet when she left for Lungmen, Exia was hot on her trails and then waited 4 YEARS to be beside her and meet her again. She joined Penguin Logistics specifically because of Mostima. It's incredibly likely that Exia might have just had a small crush on her that then spiraled heavily because of this, and Mostima (with her chronic backstory-itis letting her find out that the whole Sankta and halo thing is a scam from her op files and events) might even be aware of this aspect of Exia, and may have wanted her to get over it, always leaving to try and make Exia move on but also always coming back because she needs to look after Exia. After all, if Exia had heightened extreme emotions, what are the chances she could die of grief? She already gets drunks regularly, and despite being cheerful and optimistic, Exia is wearing a mask hiding an incredibly depressed individual.

It could also be possible that the reason why Exia never noticed this is because while it doesn't let other Sankta feel her emotions, she can still feel that of others. She's always confused as to why back in Laterano people always accused her of being disingenuous, because can't they feel her emotions? Well, if she has Super Emotions, it could potentially be overloading her halo, so while she can receive signals, they can't be felt by others. Moreover, this mechanical aspect blends in well with her E2 art, where she is the single operator in the game without an animal/living motiff

Even other Sankta have birds and/or human statues and robotic elements (funnily enough, Executor Sniper only has crosses but even then he is clearly being themed as specifically an angel), but Exia? She has her guns, becoming wings as a ring forms with them. She's literally ascending while her wings become darker.

So what does all this mean?

Well, the Pope's basement bonzi buddy just sent out a directive for the Pope to gather the best Sankta to fight against the end of the world, and who else to recruit but a vulnerable, lonely Sankta who was kicked out for being TOO destructive? Exia's profile does make mention that despite appearances, she is also incredibly pious just like other Sankta, and if the Pope himself came knocking, wanting to give Exia a place back in Laterano, and in a high ranking, respected position no less?

She would jump at the chance, not only to be beside her sister (and possibly Mostima), but also to be accepted back into Laterano society.

Executors own halo has a mechanized element to it, where he also gains more parts to it when he goes from normalest man to saint fedex, so he likely underwent some kind of modification to go along with his promotion, especially because he also now carries an Nier Automata companion cube with him straight from the machine

If Exia is to be canonized, she might be adjusted in a similar way by The Law.

She might even be fully altered into becoming Laterano's perfect weapon to fight against the end of the world. The Witch King himself describes this approaching threat as a void of infinite knowledge which seeks to eliminate them, an unshakeable truth of existence that drives people insane.

The Creator must perish.

What better weapon to fight against such a thing than one who feels her own emotions so strongly she cannot be swayed? Or better yet, an equally as unshakeable, emotionless machine?

[hamsterclaw]

Pow

Your job is to keep Gotham city safe, but you spend more of your time keeping Catboy aka Jeon Jungkook out of trouble.

Pairing: Jungkook x F! Reader

Rating: 18+

Word count: 1.1k

Genre: Subversion of Batman roles, smut, crack and misandry

Warnings: Sex, pouty JK

For Memes @madbutgloriouspond who took this idea and ran with it and came up with all the best lines including ‘being taken seriously as a man.’ Special mention to Mango @blog-name-idk for encouraging the crack all the way.

Gotham is cast in perpetual twilight to you because of your burden of being her protector.

The villains who seek their own gains stop for no man, even if they look hella sexy in a catsuit.

Jeon Jungkook aka Catboy because Catman didn’t have quite the same naughty ring to it, crosses his arms over his chest and expects you not to be distracted as he talks to you.

You remind yourself to tell him he needs to talk less pouty if he wants anyone to actually listen, but for now you just enjoy the view.

‘They didn’t even stop when I stood in front of them,’ he complains.

You tear your gaze away from his sculpted ass as he slinks around the bat cave and try to concentrate on his words.

‘Did you tell them to stop?’ you ask, undoing your weapon belt and letting it fall to the floor for your trusty manservant Park Jimin to pick up later.

‘I told them!’ Jungkook whines, voice going pitchy like it does when he’s at his most agitated. ‘I threatened them with my claws!’

‘Oh Kookie,’ you sigh. ‘You need to work on your presence, baby girl.’

You unhook your cape and toss it aside carelessly.

‘Will you give me a back rub, kitty?’

‘Don’t call me kitty!’ whinges Jungkook.

‘Ok ok, don’t get testerical,’ you say hastily, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. God, he gets so tetchy sometimes.

Like it’s a problem being so pretty he gets constantly objectified.

Man problems mystify you.

You start peeling off your leather batsuit.

‘Maybe if you want to be taken seriously as a man you should stop stealing jewellery,’ you suggest.

Jungkook goes all red in the face with how worked up he is. You can tell by how he takes a deep breath before he starts speaking that he’s about to go on another one of his meninist tirades.

God, if he wasn’t so pretty you’d break up with him and date Poison Ivy. Now Kim Taehyung’s a man who leans into his menininity.

You need to head this off at the pass before he gets truly worked up and refuses to sleep with you.

‘JK,’ you say, voice low, velvety. ‘C’mere baby.’

He stops talking but doesn’t move, looking at you like he’s considering saying no.

‘You know I respect you as a man, don’t you?’

Jungkook stares at you, wide-eyed, and you know you nearly have him.

‘You’re the strongest man I know, much stronger than me.’

The corner of his pretty mouth curls up slightly.

‘Come and let me sit on your lap, baby,’ you coo.

When he reaches the rather conveniently located lounger you’re womanspreading across, he’s already hard.

You remind yourself to send Hobi a lil something to thank him for the incredible job he did designing Catboy’s fitted latex number.

You ask, ‘can I touch you, baby?’

Jungkook nods, pouts a little.

Men love it when you respect them.

You slip out of the batsuit, enjoying the way his eyes roam over your body wildly, like he can’t decide where he wants to look most.

‘Can you take your suit off for me, doll?’ you ask.

He unzips slowly, tugging the suit down to reveal sculpted shoulders, defined pecs with dusky nipples.

You kiss his chest, tongue flicking over his nipples. He lets out a low moan as you roll one nipple between your fingers whilst sucking the other. His cock twitches under its latex prison.

You help him out of the rest of his suit, until he’s bare, standing in front of you fully erect.

You wrap your hand around his cock and tug him gently down.

He groans as you sit in his lap.

You’re already wet, have been since he folded his arms earlier, creating a cleavage displayed to perfection by the low neckline of his suit.

Another Hobi genius design.

Jungkook moans prettily as you move up and down on his cock. His forehead is sweaty, his hair sticking to it in pretty curls.

He looks wrecked, and you’ve barely started fucking him.

‘I’ve barely touched you,’ you taunt, a little breathless yourself from how rigid and thick his cock feels inside you.

He says nothing, reduced to whimpering and moaning as he helps you move your hips.

You press your fingers against his parted lips, into the wet warmth of his mouth.

‘Suck, baby.’

‘Gonna cum,’ he mumbles around your fingers.

‘Already? You’re such a slut for me, we’ve barely started, baby boy,’ you pant.

Jungkook cries out as he comes, spurting hot streaks of white into your cunt. His pretty moans rise in pitch until he’s so loud you’re glad the batcave is soundproof.

He buries his face between your breasts as his cries subside.

‘Come on,’ you say, pinching his nipple. ‘One more for me, baby.’

Jungkook twitches helplessly inside you, still hard.

‘I can’t!’ he protests.

‘You can,’ you say, reaching between his spread legs to press a finger against his rim.

Jungkook cries out in pleasure as you nudge a knuckle against his rim.

You squeeze his cock, which is already hardening inside you, and Jungkook whines.

‘Gotta,’ he grunts.

He doesn’t finish his sentence, instead rolling on top of you so he can start hammering into you.

His stamina is ridiculous.

You’ve always appreciated how he keeps himself in good shape for you, his figure is as manly as the day you met him trying ineffectually to rob a bank using his manly wiles.

You’d paid the bank manager and the chief of police off to not pursue him.

Robbing banks is really a woman’s job. Men lack the finesse to do it properly.

Jungkook’s breathy moaning snaps you back into the present.

‘Are you close?’ you demand, fingers under his chin.

‘Yes,’ he cries out. ‘Fuck, yes.’

You hold out until you feel him pulsing inside you, his hands tight on your ass.

‘Good boy,’ you say, breathless, ‘that’s good, baby.’

Jungkook presses kisses to your neck as he helps you grind on him, seeking your own pleasure now.

You moan as he bucks his hips, and then you’re coming, wetness seeping from you to coat his cock.

He wraps his arms around you, and you bury your face in his soft hair.

‘Wanna snuggle,’ he says, muffled into your chest.

You sigh.

Men get so clingy after sex sometimes when all you want to do is tap that ass.

He pouts up at you, and your heart softens.

‘Ok, catboy, we can snuggle,’ you say, resigned.

Hopefully he doesn't want to stay the night too.

©hamsterclaw 2023

This is for Memes @madbutgloriouspond who encouraged this crackiness and came up with all the best lines including my favourite line about 'being taken seriously as a man'. Special mention to Mango @blog-name-idk equally for running and encouraging this chaos.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Why would you do that, Dee?!?!!?!

Now I am plagued by HCs and imagines of Bucky's son and Rhett's firstborn (a girl he adores) being betrothed since they were like 14.

Now you're gonna have to put up with me.

• I think Alice was definitely unhappy and dissapointed when she saw she had a girl. She basically threw a fit, wouldn't hold her, wouldn't feed her, wouldn't even name her. She's a Chicago Wife, all her plans involved a boy, her whole life basically revolved around having an Heir. A girl is only a bargaining chip; now she'll have to wait even more to try again. Rhett was the complete opposite. He was sorta excited about the baby in general? He too expected a boy, its the way his whole life has been arranged- a daughter completely demolishes the plan. A daughter he can spoil. A daughter he can love without having to train. A daughter can be only his, at least for now, not the business'. He calls her Mina because he'd watched Dracula the other night and he'd only ever thought of male names so... it works.

• He eventually does have a boy. He loves his son of course. But things are not the same- everyone loves his son. His parents, his wife, his men. Mina is loved too, but it's always tinged with the slightest bitterness... no one can forget she was born first. Alice never fully warms up to her, he knows, only pays attention to her education, manners and makes passing comments about how she'll make a good match if she grows up pretty. It makes Rhett twitch.

• But of course Mina grows up gorgeous- it doesn't take long for people - boys - to notice. And Rhett isn't dumb, Mina would be a catch even if she were hideous, but he's never been unaware of just how ruthless his city can be to the women in his world, how uncaring. A man older than Rhett, one of his father's men that stuck around enough to make himself a fortune moving drugs, makes a passing joke about how Mina is his best investment yet, leering eyes focused on his eleven year old quietly eating at the table, and Alice agrees with a giggle. Rhett kills him himself that same night.

• But he had a point, and now Rhett can't stop seeing it. Boys in high school, in college, men his own age and older looking at his baby like they're...waiting. Like the second she 'becomes a woman' she'll be up for sale and they're all thinking up the different ways they can purchase her. Women in the Chicago Outfit are little more than accessories and maybe Rhett is an asshole for not seeing it until it affected his daughter but sue him, he doesn't want that for her.

• One day everything goes wrong. One day he wasn't looking and one of his men betrayed him, his right hand died and now he's got a war on his hands and he has to make a decision. Gather up his allies and think of something. He keeps his son close, Alice refuses to leave her precious boy and talk around fourteen year old Mina is bad enough he has to make a decision.

• Charm honestly thought he was kidding all those years ago. Yeah, betrothal still happen in their world but outright arranging one is kinda... old fashioned? These days you just gently nudge your kids in the right direction and they get the idea. But no, Rhett hasn't been subtle about anything in his life. So of course she's on a phone call with him talking about debts and loyalty and his daughter and her son at three am. "You're the only person I can trust with this, with her" he says. And okay, sure. His daughter can come stay with them until things settle down in Chicago. Yes, per their contract years ago, New York will back him up.

• Mina's stay in New York lasts about a year. Her father is the only one that calls her- her mother is happily living out the fantasy where she doesn't exist. Her brother mostly texts her memes when she asks him if he's okay so she knows he's not and she's just... isolated. She isn't from New York, but she can't be from Chicago either... and apparently one day she'll marry the boy who also lives in the penthouse? Honestly she doesn't even see him most of the time (which is a shame because he's two years older than her and just as hot as his dad but whatever) Mina is pretty sure he's knee deep into his training and too busy to deal with the weird girl that just showed up one day in the middle of the night. Mr Barnes is never there either, training his son or helping her father with his war, nor is his wife, the only woman her dad has ever spoken with true respect in his voice. They're both super nice to her, though. Overwhelmingly so- she isn't this used to someone other than her dad caring so much about how she's feeling or if she needs anything. They insist she never eat dinner alone, ask her about the online classes she's attending and they LISTEN when she answers.

• So her temporary guardians are great, her fiancee is far from one of the creepy boys from back home and the city is new and exciting... but her favorite part is the Barnes' daughter. Mina isn't used to being friends with girls her age, she's grown accustomed to being a friendly acquaintance and to keep any other girl at arm's length because they could turn into an enemy the second they feel like it; the friends her brother makes are the ones that matter, they'll be the powerful ones one day, at least that's what her mother says, so Mina isn't that well versed in the whole friendship thing.

• But the Barnes' daughter could give a shit about that, apparently. She's beautiful, confident and she'll inherit her mother's territory one day, so of course she felt no issue bursting into her room one day and introducing herself before announcing they would be best friends and did she want to get milkshakes?

"What?" Mina says, still shocked and in her pajamas.

"Milkshakes. Shit, do you not have those in Chicago? Mom said it was old fashioned but-"

"Of course we have them but... it's one am."

"Okay? Is that a yes or-"

They're best friends because ofc she's never wrong. They literally spend all their time together, Mina kind of expects her to drift away once she goes back to school but no, they remain steadfast. And Bucky's daughter kind of really likes how her brother turns red and stammering whenever Mina is around.

"I don't think your brother likes me very much," Mina whispers to her after her fiancee tried to talk to her for the third time that week but failed yet again because his stupid sister is just there, hogging her and making her laugh, so he just got moody and stomped out of there.

"No, like seriously," Mina complains in the middle of a party they snuck into. "I think he hates me." She sips her drink and ignores the way the boy she's supposed to marry glares at her. (He's actually glaring at all the other guys trying to get her attention.)

"I'm not that thrilled about basically being sold either, but you don't see me being a bitch about it," she informs her friend when she watches him get knocked down in a fight because ofc the first time he gets the nerve to talk to her is just before the definitive cage match of his life and of course the prospect of talking to the beautiful girl that lives in his house, that his parents adore and his sister can't stop talking about is actually more terrifying than losing the fight so of course his dumbass jumps in the ring before time and nearly loses. (He wins the fight anyways, but Mina thinks he literally would rather get beat up than have to put up with her so yeah).

MY DARLING OMG I JUST-

YOU ARE AMAZING?! 😍 I am literally smiling at the screen, and I'm gonna fangirl over you, this is so so so good! ❤️😍

I think Alice was definitely unhappy and dissapointed when she saw she had a girl. She basically threw a fit, wouldn't hold her, wouldn't feed her, wouldn't even name her. Oooh I think so too! Like you said, having an Heir is the most important thing for her, and everyone probably kept telling her! Like Charm said, Chicago's underworld is basically medieval, and Alice is a part of that 😱

A daughter he can spoil. A daughter he can love without having to train. A daughter can be only his, at least for now, not the business'. This is so cuuuute! ❤️ I totally agree, I think Rhett was even relieved when he saw that they had a daughter, and he was surprised at himself ❤️ But like, he needs to be incredibly "stern" with his heir, just like his father, but having his daughter...she would be his princess! ❤️

He named her Mina after watching Dracula I LOVE THIS! ❤️

Alice never fully warms up to her, he knows, only pays attention to her education, manners and makes passing comments about how she'll make a good match if she grows up pretty. It makes Rhett twitch. I think Mina is going to be such a sore topic between them for completely different reasons❤️ Rhett is incredibly protective of her, and he wants to shelter her from all the business, and everything that comes with it, and to hear Alice being so harsh with her?

They would have such huge fights!

OH RHETT WOULD KILL THAT PERVERT CREEP AND HE WOULD ALSO MAKE HIM SUFFER!

Like, that night, I think Rhett legit tortured him the whole night to the point of him begging for death, only then he killed him😏 There wasn't a bone that wasn't broken in his whole body, and his face was messed up beyond recognizable 😏

maybe Rhett is an asshole for not seeing it until it affected his daughter but sue him, he doesn't want that for her. Rhett as a protective dad🥺 I love him❤️

I think it's around that time that he realized what Charm meant during their break up, how she would never stay in Chicago even if New York wasn't an option 😏

Yeah, betrothal still happen in their world but outright arranging one is kinda... old fashioned? These days you just gently nudge your kids in the right direction and they get the idea. But no, Rhett hasn't been subtle about anything in his life. I can almost see Charm's confused expression AT THREE IN THE MORNING 😂

Charm still being the only person Rhett trusts after all these years asdfghjkl 🥰

Charm totally gave a talk to their son before Mina showed up😂 She would be like,

"The fact that I'm telling you this does not mean you can be mean to her in any way."

"I won't be mean to her. I don't even know her."

"Yeah well, keep that in mind. Because when the same thing happened, your father was the rudest person-"

"Charm we're married with kids, when will you let that go?"

"We're married with kids because I'm such a forgiving person."

Rhett being the only one to call Mina❤️

Mina instantly having sort of a crush on him 🥰

the only woman her dad has ever spoken with true respect in his voice. Have I mentioned I love Rhett? I LOVE RHETT❤️

They insist she never eat dinner alone, ask her about the online classes she's attending and they LISTEN when she answers. CHARM AND BUCKY BECOMING GREAT PARENTS, I-

But the Barnes' daughter could give a shit about that, apparently. She's beautiful, confident and she'll inherit her mother's territory one day, so of course she felt no issue bursting into her room one day and introducing herself before announcing they would be best friends and did she want to get milkshakes? She's gonna be such a great combination of like, Charm and Becca when they were younger!

"Milkshakes. Shit, do you not have those in Chicago? Mom said it was old fashioned but-"

"Of course we have them but... it's one am."

"Okay? Is that a yes or-" SHE IS SO MINI CHARM HELP-

And Bucky's daughter kind of really likes how her brother turns red and stammering whenever Mina is around. She would be having the time of her lifeeeee😂

"I don't think your brother likes me very much," Mina whispers to her after her fiancee tried to talk to her for the third time that week but failed yet again because his stupid sister is just there, hogging her and making her laugh, so he just got moody and stomped out of there. ASDFGHJKL HE PROBABLY WENT LIKE,

"Hey you're...you're here."

"Hi-"

"Of course she's here dipshit?"

"...Do you have to be here?"

"Yes my dearest brother. I kind of have to be here because she's my best friend."

"No, like seriously," Mina complains in the middle of a party they snuck into. "I think he hates me." She sips her drink and ignores the way the boy she's supposed to marry glares at her. (He's actually glaring at all the other guys trying to get her attention.) Lolll and Mina so thinking he hates her guts while he's over there like,

"Who's that guy trying to buy her drinks? What the fuck?"

"Uh..."

"This bar is in my father's territory. She doesn't need anyone to buy her drinks."

"Okay, but-"

"I'll go beat him up-"

"Your mom would be very pissed off."

"...Great."

"I'm not that thrilled about basically being sold either, but you don't see me being a bitch about it," she informs her friend when she watches him get knocked down in a fight because ofc the first time he gets the nerve to talk to her is just before the definitive cage match of his life and of course the prospect of talking to the beautiful girl that lives in his house, that his parents adore and his sister can't stop talking about is actually more terrifying than losing the fight so of course his dumbass jumps in the ring before time and nearly loses. HE IS HIS FATHER'S SON, HELP, THAT IS BUCKY'S SON RIGHT THERE 😂

Lolll and after the cage fight, Mina would go and find him and she'd be like,

"Um, hi."

"Mina! Hi! Did you...did you watch the match?"

"Yeah I did. Are you okay?"

"Yeah! Sure I mean, it's nothing."

"Your nose looks broken?"

"Yeah but it's nothing, who hasn't broken their nose at some point- so how are you?"

Aaaaaaand I ship them now thanks to you😂❤️

Honeeeey this is so amazing, you're a genius! ❤️ Thank you so so much for this, ILY! ❤️

[mercurygray]

Merc, could I get "enchanting" for either Marjorie Gordon/Gale Cleven, or Joan Warren/Gale Cleven? Thanks!

Kat, I am really math-ladying memeing over the thought of Joan and Gale being an Item, but Gale and Marj (my Marj, sorry actual Marge) is catnip.

So here it is. Assume, for the purposes of debate, that Marj and Joan and everyone else decided joining the Air Force was more exciting than joining the Airborne

He wished she could be outside.

The weather was fine, for December - one of those bright, cold blue days where there was clear visibility for miles and every single pilot in the camp was itching to get his hands back into the yoke of his plane. The camp was almost bearable, on those days where you wouldn't want to be up in the soup - but on days like this? Being ground-bound was agony.

Gale glanced back up at the sky, half-wishing for a wisp of cloud - or the glimpse of a plane. Not that he'd ever get one - at the first sound of engine noise the guards would give the order to have everyone out of the yards and back inside the barracks, fearful that whatever they saw overhead would give away more news of the war.

But for some, even the scant pleasures of the winter sunlight were far away.

Gale ducked back inside the room he shared with the others, making his way carefully around the table with his hands in his coat pockets so he could pull up a chair next to one of the bunks, and the woman lying there reading a book.

She looked up at the scrape of his boots in the door. "Hey you. What happened to enjoying the sunshine?"

"Was coming to see my best girl," Gale said with a brief smile, lowering himself down onto the nearest crate. "How's the leg?"

Marj shifted a little in the narrow bunk, her breathing hitching a little. The bunks here weren't made for tall men or women, and Bucky and Marj both found it challenging to keep themselves where they were allotted - especially with Marj's leg still in its cast. She'd broken it on her jump, and letting it sit and fester for nearly a week certainly hadn't helped matters. She'd arrived at Stalug Luft III on a stretcher and in the throes of a fever that should have killed her, and the doctor had only just recently let her out of the infirmary and back into the general compound. "Still hurts. They tell me it's set fine, and now it's just a matter of letting it heal." She tried to smile. "You'll have to tell Bucky I don't think I'm gonna be able to pitch the next game."

"He'll understand."

"Or you'll make him?" Marj suggested with a wry smile. "I know how you work, Gale Cleven."

She knows me too well, he thought to himself. "If anyone catches him complaining about it, John'll have me to answer to," Gale promised. "You're too important to lose, Marj Gordon." Too important to me, he almost said, words to put paid to the thing they didn't say aloud, the thing that had no name. What kind of man lets a woman do his fighting? All the papers at home were filled with talk like that. The kind who trusts her to win just as well as he can, he always wanted to say. But it was one thing to win, and another to take on a green co-pilot because good pilots were spread thin, and lose your fort in a flak field, and bail out over Germany, and break your leg, and end up in a camp. He should have fought harder to keep her in his plane. Maybe if he'd done that she wouldn't have -

He sniffled, trying to hide whatever blush might have come out in his cheek and pulled something out of his pocket. "Here, brought you something," he said, holding out the can of Spam. "Traded some spare socks for it."

Marj set her book aside and took the can with reverent hands. Food was gold here, and it was a holy day indeed when you had a whole can of something to call your own. She looked up at him with conflicted eyes, the both of them knowing full well the can hadn't been traded for a single spare pair of socks. "Buck."

"Not going have that leg heal right on soup," he replied, refusing to rise to the accusation in her voice. "And we ought to find you a - a pair of crutches or something. Need to get you out, moving around again."

"You're not gonna offer me your arm?" Marj asked with only slight provocation.

Gale steeled himself, hating how much he loved the idea. Marjorie Gordon, if I do that they'll know I'm in love with you, he thought silently to himself. And I can't let them have that.

[nix-for-kix]

MORE WENCLAIR SNAKE AU

……..because I’m obsessed (I’m just gonna like info dump all the thoughts in my head so be prepared)

So one day Enid is going on a jog around campus and she sees this big ass snake on the side of the road on the brink of death and brought it to Wednesday and was crying and was like “fix her” and Wednesday was like “Like Taxidermy ?” And Enid was like “NO “ and then she’s like “fine my uncle taught me the joys of electroshock therapy” and fucking zaps the snake and that somehow works and they keep the snake and Enid names her fluffy and Wednesday absolutely hates the name but then Enid says something like “Her middle name can be Nero if you want” and Wednesday stops complaining about the name.

Wednesday and fluffy have very similar reactions to thing Enid says.

Enid: *crying over dog videos*

Fluffy and Wednesday: 😐

Fluffy Wednesday and Enid all go out to the woods whenever it’s a full moon and Enid and Fluffy play and shit and Wednesday watches (if thing finds a picture like the one below on Wednesday’s camera role then she’ll blackmail him into silence)

One day Enid takes Fluffy to class with her because….

E: it’s her birthday

W: Enid you found her in the side of the road half dead there is no way you know her birthday

E: I do too

W: pray tell how

E: Ajax told me

W: Ajax ?

E: yeah I take fluffy to go on play dates with Ajax so she can socialize with other snakes :)

W: snakes are know to be solitary creatures ?

E: well fluffy likes them right girl

F: *slithers around*

E: see

W: …..ok fine but that still doesn’t explain how you know today is her birthday

E: Oh she told Ajax’s snakes who then told me

Ajax and Enid share snake care tips

Oh yeah forgot to mention that Fluffy is a full grown black and white ball point python so do with that what you will.

She escaped from a zoo near Jericho and since the mayor is freshly dead and the sheriff was a bit preoccupied with a certain Hyde incident a rouge snake was the last thing on his mind so Fluffy just kinda slithered over towards Nevermore and got fuckin bodied by a car

Thing and fluffy are besties

E: ah shoot i forgot something in class, Thing could you watch Fluffy for a bit

T: (thumbs up)

E: you’re the best

*fluffy and thing look at each other*

—————————

*Wednesday and Enid walk in seeing Thing riding Fluffy like a horse a tiny cowboy hat and bandana on the disembodied hand*

So even though Wednesday will never outright admit it, Fluffy has definitely grown on her. Like she loves that snake.

E: Wednesday have you seen fluffy ? I cant find her anywhere and its time for her to go to the vet for a check up

W: *in bed under the covers* and what make you think I know where she is

*covers move slightly as a bit of fluffy's tail peeks out of the covers*

*enid and wednesday just stare at each other*

E: *pulls back the covers to reveal fluffy tightly coiled around wednesday* really ????

W (to fluffy): I told you she would find out

F: *sad slithers*

Fluffy is the homophobic dog meme

Wednesday, Enid, Fluffy and Thing all watch movies together every Friday night after the Hyde incident it’s kind of a long-standing thing and very important to Enid. Wednesday acts like she could care less but if anything that she needs to do comes up on a Friday she reschedules or does it really fast to make at least some part of the movie night. Every week someone new gets to pick a movie so like Enid usually picks a romcoms, Wednesday always picks horror (the scream movies are her favorite) Thing picks silent movies, and Fluffy always picks Disney movies. One week it’s Fluffy’s turn to pick the movie but a new Scream movie had just came out and Wednesday really wanted to watch it so Wednesday bribed Fluffy

W: I realize it is your week to choose but might I interest you in this cinematic masterpiece

F:…

W: fine if you choose this movie I will personally find you a big juicy rat for you to eat from my collection

F: …

W: fine two

F: ….

W: you drive a hard bargain 3

F: *slithers approvingly*

W: pleasure doing business with you

Enid spends most of the movie curled into Wednesday’s side. (And while Wednesday did enjoy the scream franchise the werewolf practically sitting in her lap was a plus)

I am running out of space to write so imma reblog with some more

[astrowaffles]

excuse me (you look like you love me)

Teen audiences | banter | ambiguous ending | for @makkisucks

When you are 27 years old and you are about to make what feels like a life-changing decision, there is only one person you call.

Your best friend.

“What the fuck do you want?” Kaoru rasped through Kojiro’s phone speaker. “It’s 10am, I don’t want to speak to you.”

“But Kaoru! I still don’t know what to do about this wedding!”

“I told you. Lie. Now stop being annoying and let me go back to sleep.”

“Hey! Pay attention! I need to find a girlfriend, stat!”

Kaoru sighed heavily. “That’s never going to happen. Girls hate you. You’re a brute and you’re annoying. Now shut the fuck up.” He hung up.

Well. So much for that plan. The call didn’t even last five minutes.

Wait.

Girls hate him?

“WHAT could you possibly want,” Kaoru snapped as soon as he picked up.

“You’re not a girl!”

“….What.”

“You’re not a girl and you know me really well!”

“Um. I suppose so? Where is this going?”

“You can come with me to Ayame’s wedding!”

OR: after an invite to an ex's wedding puts Kojiro on the spot, he panics and asks Kaoru to help him out. After all, what harm could it do? They'd never *really* be a couple...

Kojiro got the invite in the post two days before he needed to RSVP, which was terrible planning by the mailman and even worse planning by the bride & groom. He didn’t even know who the happy couple were, just two mystery people inviting him to their all-out rich-people wedding with gold invitations and calligraphy signatures. He would think it had come to the wrong address, except that his name was printed neatly on the envelope.

“I got invited to a wedding,” he told Kaoru, as soon as the other man stepped through the door of Kojiro’s apartment.

“Oh? Whose?” Kaoru asked, with the practiced disinterest of someone who hears at least ten inane things a day, most of them coming from Kojiro. He swapped his shoes for his house slippers that were waiting under the coat stand.

“I don’t know,” Kojiro admitted. He jerked this thumb towards the opened envelope on the coffee table.

“You must do,” Kaoru said, confused. “Otherwise why would they invite you?”

“I don’t know,” Kojiro repeated. “They just have.”

“Give me the invitation, numbskull,” Kaoru demanded, sweeping past Kojiro before he could be handed the invite. He quickly pulled it from its envelope and scanned the names. “Oh, you actually are a moron. You do know them. It’s Aya.”

“Aya…?”

“Aya Suzuki. You know, like it says. On the invitation. Which you read.”

“It says Ayame on the invitation.”

“Ayame Suzuki. You didn’t make the connection?”

“I don’t know who Aya Suzuki is either!”

Kaoru sighed and muttered something that sounded a lot like ‘idiot’, and then tapped his wristband. “Carla. Search for photographs from August, 2010.”

Kojiro raised an eyebrow while Carla did her best to trawl through Kaoru’s atrocious camera roll  - which he knew from experience mainly consisted of screenshots of emails, which then got sent to him so they could make fun of silly corporate people together. The rest of it was probably memes Reki sent that saved automatically, and maybe some group photos from years ago.

Eventually, one of those group photos was projected from Kaoru’s wristband: Kojiro, Kaoru, and some random girl.

Kojiro peered closer. “Ohhhh, that Aya Suzuki,” he realised. His ex-girlfriend. Of course it was.

“Yes, you gorilla, that Aya Suzuki. Are you going to attend?”

“Hell no.”

“Oh? Why not? I thought you’d like to show off a little.”

“I don’t have anything to show off, do I? She’s getting married, and I’m still single – oh, and I skateboard for a hobby, like a twelve year old.”

“Twelve year olds don’t skate like we do,” Kaoru sniffed. “I think you should go. Free food, and I get a day or two of peace and quiet.”

“You wish you could get rid of me that easily,” Kojiro snorted. “You know I’d be texting the whole time anyway.”

“Mm, but I wouldn’t have to reply.”

Kojiro contemplated this for a minute. Free food, probably free alcohol, plus he had a hotel room. He re-checked the invite. Yup, open bar, and – what was that? A check box?

RSVP plus one, it read tauntingly.

Kojiro groaned. “I can’t do it. They’ve given me a plus one.”

“You don’t have to use it, you know.”

“But then they’ll know I’m single!”

“They don’t care, idiot.”

“But I do!! I’ve been invited to my ex’s wedding and I don’t even have a girlfriend!”

“Just lie and say she couldn’t come,” Kaoru shrugged. “Now, can I have my dinner – if you’ve finished caterwauling?”

Kojiro huffed. “Yeah, I’ve finished. Let’s eat.”

But despite the fact that he’d apparently reached a satisfying compromise for Ayame’s wedding, Kojiro found himself thinking it over again, hours later as he was just drifting off to sleep. Kaoru had long gone home, laden with Tupperware full of leftovers and a promise to host next time (he wouldn’t), and Kojiro missed the distraction of their bickering.

My ex is getting married and I’m single, he thought.

They don’t need to know that, an eviller thought - that sounded a lot like Kaoru -interjected. You can just lie, you know.

I don’t want to lie, he argued. I want to show off something concrete.

Then get a girlfriend, came Kaoru’s voice impatiently. Or don’t. Just RSVP and leave me alone.

“Why is Kaoru in my head?” he wondered aloud. “Get out.” But the advice stuck with him. Get a girlfriend.

Where would he get one from? One of the girls from S would probably oblige, but she’d come across as more of a fan than a partner. No, Kojiro needed someone who’d seem like his equal, someone he was comfortable with and who was comfortable with him. Someone Ayame & Husband would accept as legit.

Did someone like that even exist?

This is too much thinking, his braincells protested, and finally sunk him into unconsciousness.

Waking up the next morning was nothing more than being plunged back into a pit of stress and panic. He didn’t have much time left to RSVP. He wanted to RSVP a plus one. He didn’t have a plus one. He didn’t know where to find a plus one.

When you are 27 years old and you are about to make what feels like a life-changing decision, there is only one person you call. There is only one person who will tell you what they really think you should do.

Your best friend.

“What the fuck do you want?” Kaoru rasped through Kojiro’s phone speaker. “It’s 10am, I don’t want to speak to you.”

“But Kaoru! I still don’t know what to do about this wedding!”

“I told you. Lie. Now stop being annoying and let me go back to sleep.”

“Hey! Pay attention! I need to find a girlfriend, stat!”

Kaoru sighed heavily. “That’s never going to happen. Girls hate you. You’re a brute and you’re annoying. Now shut the fuck up.” He hung up.

Well. So much for that plan. The call didn’t even last five minutes.

Wait.

Girls hate him?

“WHAT could you possibly want,” Kaoru snapped as soon as he picked up.

“You’re not a girl!”

“….What.”

“You’re not a girl and you know me really well!”

“Um. I suppose so? Where is this going?”

“You can come with me to Ayame’s wedding!”

“I can what?”

“Be my fake boyfriend!”

Kaoru hung up.

A minute later, he called back.

“You’re buying me a suit.”

“What?”

“For the wedding. You’re buying me a suit, paying for everything, we’re leaving as soon as I get bored-“

“So you’ll do it?!”

“…I guess so.”

A pause. That had been surprisingly easy, which made Kojiro all the more panicked. “What’s the catch?”

“Hm? You mean besides the huge amount of money you’ll have to shell out?”

“Yeah. You wouldn’t do something like this for free. What else am I gonna owe you at the end of this, you conniving-“

“Oh, you know that word? Wow, Kojiro, you’re getting smarter-“

“Shut up and tell me what you want.”

“I can’t do both,” said Kaoru patronisingly.

Kojiro hoped he could feel his glare at the other end of the line.

Kaoru snorted. “I’m never hosting our dinners ever again.”

Kojiro huffed. “You never do anyway. It’s a deal.”

“Great. Now RSVP. I’m going back to sleep. Bye.”

Realising what was about to happen, Kojiro jammed his finger down on the hang up button; as always, Kaoru got there first. Kojiro sighed.

How on earth was he going to afford all this?

Asking Kaoru to pretend to be his boyfriend was potentially the best idea of Kojiro’s life, he thought, watching Kaoru go through his room like a hurricane, packing with an efficiency that only came with an organised mind and a lot of work trips.

“Why do you still have this?” Kaoru asked, holding up a ratty Hawaiian print shirt.

“I like it.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Just because you have no fashion sense-“

Kaoru threw the shirt decisively into the back of the closet and continued rustling through Kojiro’s clothes. “You have the taste of an overgrown toddler.” He threw neon flip-flops over his shoulder; Kojiro dodged them and looked into the suitcase Kaoru was putting together.

“I think you’ve packed enough,” he said, eyeing the growing pile of folded clothes. “This is like what I’d wear in a week, not two days.”

“I haven’t even added the clothes for the actual wedding yet,” Kaoru tutted, removing Kojiro’s dry-cleaned suit from the closet and carefully rolling it up. “What shoes are you wearing with this?”

“Um, my formal ones?” Kojiro put them in the suitcase.

“You only have one pair. Of course.” Kaoru rolled his eyes, tucked the suit into the luggage, and zipped the case shut. “There. Now we can go.”

“We still have another hour!” Kojiro complained, lifting the suitcase and testing its weight. “Jeez, Kaoru, what’ve you put in here, bricks?”

“No, moron. You watched me pack it.”

“Yeah, watched you pack bricks.”

“The way you pronounce ‘bricks’ irritates me.”

“Your face irritates me.”

“And here was I, thinking you wanted me to do you a favour-“

“No no no I’m sorry Kaoru please go to this wedding with me-“

“That’s what I thought. Let’s load up the car.”

“You driving?”

Kaoru stared at him. Kojiro sighed. “Of course not. Let’s go.”

Kaoru was generous enough to carry his own suitcase to the car, but left it for Kojiro to put in the trunk while he made himself comfortable inside the car, rigging up Carla to the radio system (a simple task, since he did it every time they went anywhere in Kojiro’s car. It annoyed Kojiro to have his friend’s robot girlfriend in the car with them but he put up with it because Carla was much better at directions than any sat nav he’d ever met.

The drive to the venue was short enough, punctuated by Carla’s robotic voice and Kaoru’s sharp comments on Kojiro’s driving – which inevitably lead to an argument where Kaoru insisted he was not even remotely like a princess, hadn’t he just finished putting up Kojiro’s shelves a week ago, no it didn’t matter that he never drove anywhere, yes he was still entitled to comment on Kojiro’s skills, and would Kojiro please close his huge hairy mouth before he got something in it. Something shaped a lot like Kaoru’s fist.

“Kinky,” Kojiro noted, wiggling his eyebrows.

Kaoru pinched him and threatened to tape his mouth shut.

“Kin-“

“Shut the fuck UP!”

The town was nice. The hotel was nice. Their room was nice. Their bed was nice – they had long given up caring about having to share. 20 years is too long a friendship to care about being in each other’s space. Most importantly, their shower was nice, with water pressure Kojiro had long lost from his own shower at home. Kaoru might have felt differently. He had enough money to get fifty new water-pressured showers, probably, which was why he was already out and dressed by the time Kojiro finished towelling off.

“Imagine if we actually were dating,” Kojiro mused, eyeing the fairy lights above the bed as he pulled his shirt on. “This place’d have us stuck in bed for-“

“Enough,” Kaoru interrupted. “We’re here for free food, not dramatics.”

“You’re more dramatic than me,” Kojiro argued. “Why didn’t you let me finish my sentence?!”

“Because I do not want to hear about what you plan to do with your girlfriend.”

“Whyyy, are you jealouss~?”

Kaoru stared at him.

Kojiro stared back.

“Do we need rules?” Kaoru asked, hunting in his suitcase for a hair tie.

“For what?”

“I don’t know, maybe pretending to be in love?”

“Oh, are we in love already? Damn, this relationship is moving fast.”

“Can you take anything seriously? At all?”

“Nope.”

Kaoru rolled his eyes. “Don’t kiss me, don’t call me any pet names. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Kojiro nodded. “Can I make up our love story?”

“Don’t make it ridiculous.”

“What do you mean?! I wanted to have you ride in on a unicorn and sweep me off my feet, and then-“

Kaoru sighed and finished tying his hair up. “Are you ready for the rehearsal dinner?”

Kojiro pulled his sock on and nearly fell over trying to follow it up with his shoe. “Yep.”

“You’re not.” Kaoru reached over to settle the curls that had flung themselves every way they shouldn’t have on Kojiro’s head. “Now you are. Well, as much as a gorilla like you can be.”

“Gee, thanks,” Kojiro snarked, and tightened Kaoru’s tie a little. “You won’t strangle yourself, y’know.”

“I might, if I have to spend any more time alone with you.”

“Wowwwww..”

Kaoru grabbed Kojiro’s hand and took a deep breath. “I don’t want to do this. At all. With you.”

“So you’d do it with someone else?”

“I’d rather do it with Ayame in front of her new husband.”

“And yet, here you are.” Kojiro squeezed their hands. “Can you manage being affectionate or will it kill you?”

“It’ll kill me,” said Kaoru decisively.

“Then I might finally get some peace and quiet,” Kojiro said gleefully, and they walked out of the room.

“’Jiro!” Ayame greeted enthusiastically when she saw the pair come into the hall. “So nice to see you again!”

“Aya!” Kojiro smiled back; no-one would ever guess he’d been staring at her name in total confusion just a few months ago. “Marriage, huh?”

“Marriage,” Ayame agreed. “And- is that you, Sakurayashiki?”

“Hi,” Kaoru said, only just avoiding sounding bored out of his mind.

“Don’t tell me you’re Jiro’s-“ her eyes flicked down to their joined hands. “Oh! Silly me, of course, I should’ve guessed…”

Kojiro tensed a little, trying to analyse Ayame’s face. He hadn’t thought this far ahead: what if she thought two men holding hands was wrong?

“It’s about time!” Ayame laughed, and grabbed Kojiro’s free wrist to drag him over to meet her fiancé. Kojiro kept his grip on Kaoru to make sure he got pulled along too.

“Why are you pulling me,” Kaoru hissed.

“I’m not going alone,” Kojiro whispered back. “’Sides, what would you do by yourself? Talk to people?” He snorted, causing Ayame to look back in confusion. He shot her a smile and strengthened his grip on Kaoru’s hand.

“That hurts, you stupid gorilla!”

“Sorry, but I need to make sure-“

“This is Izumi!” Ayame said excitedly. She’d let go of Kojiro’s wrist in order to hang off of Izumi’s arm, and was looking at them expectantly. “My husband-to-be!”

“Oh,” said Kojiro, realising he and Kaoru must have been whispering to each other suspiciously right in front of the happy couple. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Izumi said, eyes moving between Kojiro and Kaoru like he was watching a tennis match. “You’re Kojiro, yeah? Knew Aya in highschool?”

“That’s me,” Kojiro agreed, trying to follow the other man’s eye movements. “She was absolute chaos, I can tell you.”

“Don’t embarrass me!” Ayame scolded, slapping Kojiro lightly on the shoulder. “I’ve got some stories about you too, you know.”

“Ah, but you couldn’t embarrass me in front of Kaoru!”

“It’s true, I know everything,” Kaoru nodded.

“So you’re together?” Izumi asked.

“Yep,” said Kojiro, praying Izumi was as cool with it as Ayame had been.

“Oh. How long have you…?”

“They’ve been together since college, surely!” Ayame chirped.

Kojiro stared at her. “What makes you think that?”

Ayame stared back. “Are you joking?”

“He’s always joking,” Kaoru interrupted, rolling his eyes and elbowing Kojiro. “Don’t tease her, dear, she’s right.”

“Dear? I thought you said no petnames?” Kojiro questioned under his breath, then continued at a normal volume, “Sorry, Aya, I couldn’t resist..”

“I said *you* couldn’t call *me* a petname,” Kaoru reminded him.

Ayame laughed. “Silly me, I always fall for your jokes! What kind of idiots would you be if you hadn’t acted on your feelings by college? Of course you got together then.”

“Ah, were we that obvious…?” Kojiro laughed nervously, exchanging a confused glance with Kaoru.

“You really were! You know, darling-“ she turned to Izumi – “They had a secret handshake, and every time they did it I was sure they were going to kiss. Really makes me wonder what I saw in you at all, Jiro – no offence, no offence meant! You were just so obviously into Sakurayashiki…”

“I was?”

“I guess I was just so happy to be picked by someone I didn’t mind if he was actually in love with a man…”

“Was I??”

“Don’t get me wrong, Sakurayashiki was just as bad, he just didn’t have a girlfriend to notice these things…”

“I was not,” said Kaoru decisively. Kojiro inched away slightly in case his friend decided to take his anger out on him.

“You were,” Ayame insisted. “You think I didn’t notice your heart eyes whenever Jiro managed a good trick? I’m not blind, you know.”

“HEART EYES?” Kojiro turned to Kaoru, mirth already dancing in his eyes. “You hear that? You had heart eyes, Kaoru!”

“Of course I didn’t.”

“She says you did!”

“She also says you were in love with me, idiot.”

“You are in love, aren’t you?” Ayame asked, confused.

“Oh- yes, we are,” Kaoru recovered quickly. “I just meant I didn’t think it started in high school.”

“Good save,” Kojiro whispered. Then, at a normal volume, “I think we’d better find our seats before your rehearsal dinner starts. Thanks for the invite!”

“Of course! See you later!” Ayame waved them off with a smile, already turning back to her fiancé to ramble more about her highschool days.

“WhatdidshemeanIwasinlovewithyou?” Kojiro garbled as soon as they were out of earshot.

“I have no idea,” said Kaoru grimly. “But it makes our job easier because she already thinks we’re together. We don’t have to pretend quite so hard.” He dropped Kojiro’s hand. “Drink?”

“Please.” He didn’t say his order; he knew Kaoru knew. Instead, Kojiro sat down at their assigned table and started absently folding origami swans. The table’s other inhabitants didn’t attempt to start a conversation. He watched Kaoru order their drinks at the bar and listened in to the gossip happening at the neighbouring table – someone was getting divorced because the wife had an affair, someone had moved back into their parents’ house after losing their office job, someone had been caught posting on Instagram while at a private christening…

“Here,” said Kaoru, practically shoving the drink into Kojiro’s hands. “What’s got you in such a mess?”

“I’m not a mess!” Kojiro said indignantly, letting his fifth napkin swan fall to the ground as he wrapped both hands around his tall glass. Kaoru pulled a face, probably thinking of the fingerprints Kojiro was leaving.

“You’re a total mess,” Kaoru told him, and swept the swans off the table. “Not that that’s not normal for you.”

“Well, whatever,” Kojiro huffed. “It didn’t concern you at all? That she thought we were in love at 17?”

“What? No. It’s not real, anyway,” Kaoru shrugged, taking a sip of his own drink. “Now, when’s dinner arriving?”

Getting back to the hotel room was significantly harder than leaving. For one thing, Kojiro was a lightweight and could already feel the fuzz overtaking his brain by the second drink. Kaoru had cut him off early, but had kept drinking himself, meaning they were both struggling to walk in a straight line as they attempted to return to their room. Neither of them were so bad they couldn’t speak, but Kojiro was bad enough that he couldn’t stop speaking, rambling on about nothing much as Kaoru shuffled through his pockets for a keycard.

“I should’ve just kept hold of it,” Kaoru muttered, finally finding the plastic card in Kojiro’s jacket.

“But you didn’t,” Kojiro pointed out.

Kaoru rolled his eyes. “Thanks, genius. Go inside.”

Kojiro obediently went inside, only to turn back around at a loud thunk coming from behind him; it was Kaoru, walking into the doorframe.

“Careful,” said Kojiro.

“Don’t be irritating,” said Kaoru.

Kojiro shed his shirt, tie, shoes, socks, and eventually pants; Kaoru didn’t force him into the shower and he didn’t feel like being clean so many times in one day (he’d showered this morning AND before the dinner, alright?!) so he simply clambered into bed and watched Kaoru attempt to remove the ten hair ties holding his hair up.

“Is it weird that we’re sharing a bed?” Kojiro pondered.

“No? We’ve done that since we were five?”

“Well, yeah, but we’re not dating or anything…”

“And? What does that have to do with it?” Kaoru swapped his shirt for a pyjama t-shirt and started stepping out of his pants.

Kojiro thought about it. “Isn’t this all couple stuff?”

“No, because we’re doing it and we aren’t a couple.” Kaoru added something under his breath that sounded a lot like ‘yet’.

“Hm. Alright.”

Kaoru slid into bed and reached out to turn the lights off from the switches by the nightstand.

“…Kaoru?”

“Hm?”

“Can we cuddle?”

For a minute, it genuinely seemed that Kaoru would say no, freaked out by all the ‘couple stuff’ they’d been accused of that day. But then, a few seconds later, Kojiro heard a soft huff, the sound of Kaoru expelling a fond sigh through his nose.

“Of course we can. Come on, idiot – but if you roll across me again I swear to god I’ll-“

“Yeah, yeah,” Kojiro said flippantly, and dragged Kaoru closer. “G’night.”

“Night, Kojiro.”

A03 | Exclusives | Tip Me | Commissions

[darishima]

puppy your game collection is beautiful i dont know what most of those are except like the disgaeas (because youve explained them before), disco elysium (the occasional meme crosses my dash), roblox, and undertale maybeeeeee you could give me a tour of the others you like and what theyre about and stuff! whats muse dash ouppy that sounds like a rhythm game ^w^

thank you i know its incredible :3c soo here it is again i will go game by game and yap my ouppy little head off im sorry

starting from the left! desmume is a DS emulator that i got to play puyo puyo fever, a fullmetal alchemist ROM and a lucky star ROM and PPSSPP is a PSP emulator i got for uhh. i cant remember which game i specifically installed it for. i think it was puyo puyo fever 2?

roblox is. you know. roblox

my hero one's justice is a demo i downloaded from steam which i have not actually played LMAO i got the demo to see if i wanted to buy the full game but i guess its pointless because i havent bothered to check out the demo

class of 09 and class of 09 re-up (the sequel) are visual novels, hard to explain what theyre about.. basically its all about toxic evil yuri and drug abuse and self harm. its like if needy streamer overload was about coked up high school lesbians

disgaea pc is the second best game ever made

disgaea 2 pc is the number 1 best game ever made. no further explanation necessary

i have not actually played dont starve yet, it was recommended by a friend so i bought it during the steam summer sale for like 2 bucks. from what ive heard, its a survival game, kinda like minecraft if minecraft was way harder and the game hated you

disco elysium is the same, recommended by a friend, i bought it for super cheap during the summer sale, and have not touched it yet LMAO

muse dash is a rhythm game yes and its FUCKIGN INCREDIBLE. AND IM AMAIZNG AT IT. LOOK AT THESE SCORES BONESY ARENT YOU PROUD OF ME

full combo means i hit every note and didnt miss a single one >:3 im genuinely really good at the game not 2 brag,,, and YES you saw that right, hatsune miku and kagamine rin and len are playable characters!! they come with two respective DLCs which also come with a bunch of vocaloid songs and i bought them both <3 these are their sprites in game!

and if you buy it it gives you a bunch of adorable art on the loading screens :3 this isnt even all of them just a few i screenshotted. if i screenrecorded myself killing it in muse dash would you watch the video teehee...

ok back to game yapping. leaf blower revolution is an idle clicker game i got for free on steam, which i got insanely hyperfixated on for three days and played for like 14 hours straight once and then gave up and never touched it again

yume nikki is a little pixelated adventure game where you explore around a girl's weird dreams. the soundtrack is INCREDIBLE especially this song. its transcendental. listen to it while youre high trust me you have to

DDLC requires no explanation i think. its ddlc. you know what it is theres no way you dont

the song of saya (saya no uta) i will be yapping extra about because i LOVE IT. its a horror eroge visual novel about a guy named fuminori who, after a brain surgery, sees the entire world and other people as a disgusting fleshy abomination, whereas everything looks normal to other people. for example this:

is a completely normal hallway. but it looks like that to him. then he meets a girl name saya, who is the only thing in the world that looks normal to him, and he falls in love with her

and i reeeally really dont wanna spoil it cause its really good and i highly recommend you go watch it (theres a full playthrough on youtube) but lets just say saya is Not as normal as she looks.

celeste is a game ive only played a little of, but i love it so far. its a platformer about a trans woman named madeline climbing celeste mountain, and encountering a personification of her self doubt that she has to overcome to get to the top. i lovee the style of the game its so pretty and way easier than i expected it to be, which is great for me because im garbage at every game in the world that isnt muse dash or disgaea

disgaea 4 and disgaea 5 are self explanatory. i ADORE d4, though im not super far into it, but i havent started d5 yet im waiting until i finish d1 and 4

phantom brave is a game set in the same universe as disgaea which crosses over with it, i havent played more than a few minutes of the game but obviously i love it so far cause its similar to disgaea. im waiting to jump fully into it until i finish d1 and d4 though

OFF is an rpg also recommended to me by a friend, i downloaded it online but havent touched it yet 😭 pro at owning games i dont play

omori is also very self explanatory. i downloaded it off my friends steam account and he and i have been playing it together, im not far in but obviously i like it, i knew i would. aubrey is sooo mecore <3 i really need to keep playing it... i should have gotten into omori sooner. actually no i take that back because i think 14 year old me getting into omori would have been so world-ending that it would have shattered my psyche

spore is spore. idk how to describe it. you make a fucked up little creature and you make the fucked up little creature do shit thats the whole game

undertale is also very self explanatory. and boom thats all my games :3 well i also have animal jam classic which didnt fit in the screenshot but theres not much to say about that. other than the fact that i own a super rare nonmember mantis pet and im proud of it. and my den fucks

okay thats more than enough yapping im sorry .. stop asking me questions because i do not know how to shut up. ily though thank you for asking :3c

[halofcrged]

@rubiesintherough seven sent a meme.

❛ Are you real? ❜

He'd been sat in the med bay since he had made it back to the ship - he was meant to be in route for pickup by a UNSC cruiser, but he'd purposefully rerouted the ship through slip stream to the middle of nowhere while he'd waited for the young woman to regain consciousness, and for Cortana to pick her way through all of the files that they'd gleaned from what was left of the research ship that they'd been sent to salvage. Command had told him to anticipate no survivors, and that his mission was to recover whatever date he could and scrap anything left behind to keep it from falling into enemy hands.

What he'd seen had left his stomach tight and his teeth on edge. It hadn't been readily apparent who had been conducting the experiments on the ship, or who had authorized them. The encryptions were not UNSC. The scientists had either fled and left their work behind, or been torn from the ship on its impact exiting slipstream - Cortana's sensors hadn't been able to find evidence of their remains on board or in their surrounding space. The cryo tubes of test subjects were in varying degrees of melt down or overload. The girl's was the only one that had been capable of supporting life still, but it had been a fight to resuscitate her.

Cortana was still working on decrypting files. All he could do was wait. So wait he did.

"Yes, ma'am," John replied, pulling the stool he'd been sitting on closer to the edge of the med bay bed. He'd stripped out of his suit down to his under amor in the best of an attempt he could make to seem less intimidating. He wasn't sure it had helped. "My name's John. Can you tell me your name?"

[t1meslayer]

Busy with important family events over the next couple of days, and so I thought it would be good to get a day-and-date release for this Debrief on the latest entry in my Sapphic Valley series, "How You Get The Girl." Be sure to read the story before jumping in!

Did you do it? Did you read the story?

Alright, I'm trusting you. Go ahead and hit that 'Keep Reading' button you scamp.

It only seems appropriate to start this Debrief off by addressing the elephant in the room. I haven't posted anything in over a month, and "By Moonlight" came about a month after its predecessor, the conclusion to "Stone-Cold Lovers."

Work, naturally, has been a major factor.

You can see me talk about that almost two weeks ago in this Tumblr post I made about writing in a coffee shop, which came weeks after I actually started writing during a trip to a friend's house.

===

Side note:

Just wanted to take a moment and acknowledge my beautiful Haley and Emily keychains. My friend who's responsible for the affairs of one ghostly farmer named Jizzabelle (Gisabelle to the laymen) got them for me! Only appropriate after I commissioned some art of her and Abigail.

Emily was my first Stardew wife, and Haley currently holds the biggest place in my heart. They make a lovely duo!

And I'll avoid any sister-wife jokes

===

While I've had some other projects like Zine writing to take care of, work and life can't explain the full absence.

The best way I can think to explain things is that:

I had the general writer's block, and

Despite the best intentions and advice of my irl friends and online pals like @alchemicallymoon and @duelbraids, I couldn't force myself to "break" that block by just... Writing something else.

This is entirely the result of my own psychosis. I have a tendency to carefully plot things out and impose a timetable that really doesn't need to exist. When I feel the cause is righteous enough, it's hard to get around that. In this case, I knew I needed to get my poll-winning idea out after dawdling for holidays like Valentine's Day, and then I knew I only wanted to post one more story before jumping on a very special event for my upcoming 30th AO3 post.

Thus, here we are: arbitrarily forcing myself into a spiral of writer's block misery because of a silly promise on Tumblr and my own sense of ordered chaos.

At the very least, this meant it's coming out not long after my AO3 pal InsertACatchyPennameHere also emerged from the woodwork to tell me they're working on something INSPIRED by my four-person friend group farm adaptations.

Much love to them, wherever they may be.

I'll probably start writing more eclectically now that my shoulders are unweighed, but don't expect my next publication to hit until I'm finished working on teasing the big event. All you Pokemon fans better get hype!

And oh how sweet this publication feels. Between my great set of recent ceramics, the figure drawing class I've been attending, and creative writing, I've felt more fulfilled than ever.

You're here to talk about Stardew, though. So let us talk.

This idea began less with any one event as it did a desire to advance the Alexis/Haley relationship, and Haley's characterization in particular. It was always going to end with watercolor painting reference, but 2 Willow Lane was what I really wanted to dig into.

As I see it, a lot of what keeps people invested in Stardew when its comfy vibes becoming routine is the air of mystery in Eric Barone's worldbuilding. Haley and Emily's parents being some world-traveling duo who left their home in the siblings' care for who knows how long (and who knows how many times over their lifetime) really piqued my interest. So much so that the new writing challenge I set for myself in "How You Get The Girl" was crafting a particularly long set of descriptions that emphasize how overwhelming the parents' influence feels — without creating an impenetrable wall of text.

Hopefully I succeeded in that. Let me know!

I tried to include some vaguely real world-adjacent references into that description of the house, as happens with the magical-realism world of Stardew Valley. For example:

The computer sitting next to their bonsai tree is an iMac G3, the kind of old 'futuristic' tech that my dad loves!

A Speedwell refrigerator is based on even more vintage tech, the Mayflower fridge, but named after a different ship ridden by Pilgrims coming to America.

That city that the family visited in an old photograph with a "monument of arching, interlocking steel" is, of course, Paris — with the statue bookends referencing any number of statues in the Louvre.

Haley's FAD magazine could be referencing any number of publications, but Vogue is probably the closest analogue to what I imagine her reading.

Furthermore, I took some notes on describing the home's layout off of my sister's apartment building, and I asked my bestie @trybard for input on what kind of hanging plant should be used in the transitional hallway. Hanging pothos, philodendron, and spider plants were the three options provided, and my response was appropriate:

They know so much about plants.

Go bug them about it.

I drew on other friends' knowledge to help decorate the house. Specifically, I asked one of my witchiest friends what kinds of protective wards someone like Emily would leave around doorways and windows. She had... A lot of reference material.

I picked Hazel given it purportedly "protects against evil; encourages abundance and inspiration." I also picked Amethyst as one of Emily's loved gifts, one that purportedly "absorbs negative energy, promotes harmony."

My witchy friend is the same one who provided the TikTok that I referenced in my advertisement post:

Perhaps the most important thing about 2 Willow Lane was the recurring motif of Barbie's Dream House.

As a surface-level reference, I think the groundwork is clear. Blondie's love of fashion and general queen bee demeanor fits comparisons to Barbie well, and she lives in a big ol' house full of stuff. We all saw Greta Gerwig's Barbie movie last year. It's still in the cultural zeitgeist.

I'm hip with the kids.

Yet, early on I also tried to make it clear that if this is a "dream" house, it's neither Haley's nor Emily's dream. Haley is a Barbie in that stereotypical sense, but also there's much to be mined from the analogy of a sort of powerless doll in an immutable house, constrained by social obligation to her family rather than literal plastic and stickers.

The cold open of Jodi and Sam was meant to stand alone, but in execution I also think drawing Kent's absence into the conversation makes for a more thematically rich comparison to these sisters who appear to have themselves more put together.

My beta reader said this wound up being one of my stronger stories because of how all of that intertwined, which I appreciated given how down on myself I was following the whole writer's block thing.

But also.

Also.

Alexis gets to be horny. She's hitting on lonely MILFs and watching girls shake their asses to the tune of bad reality TV.

We love a buff dommy mommy farm girl in this house.

Haley is probably horny too, she just doesn't realize it yet. For now I think it's fun enough to play into her being coy about building excuses for Alexis to come over, and then getting incensed when Emily barges in on their private time meant to learn more about this farm girl she just can't get out of her head.

===

Fun fact:

Every story in this series is named after a Taylor Swift song, but I know next-to nothing about her discography. All of them are suggestions by my friend whose house I was at when starting this story — the same one who controls Gardenia on the farm.

While I went with "How You Get The Girl," her alternative suggestion was "The Man."

===

All that w|w talk aside, I also want to give Sam the loveable idiot a shoutout. Had to do a fair bit of research into how skateboards are constructed for his failed ollie, and I slipped in a reference to shitty old technology that's exclusively for my beta reader to enjoy.

I also tried doing some agricultural research to figure out how the folks at Kevin Farm could have grown cucumbers so there'd be a jar of legitimate pickles... But that was getting too in the weeds.

Insert laugh track here

Decided to just go with pickled artichoke hearts to save everyone a lot of trouble.

And where does "Kevin Farm" come from, you may be asking yourself. Or the fabulous "Kevin's Special" with its definitely not innuendo tagline.

That story will have to wait for another day, my friends.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #12 & #11

12. ARMENIA Brunette - "Future lover" 14th place

Decade ranking: 37/116 [Above Stefan, below Systur]

Very tempted to just post this meme as justification for putting Brunette here.

Like, what is Brunette if not A Neat Lady? ? She working on herself, deciding to be good, do good, look good #TeamPretty for her future lover whom she wants to kiss her face, read books with and drink smoothies with at neat cafés - it's no "Why don't you make me dizzy with all your kisses *sad synth*", but it's cute and relatable for a libretto strung together from Pinterest posts lol <3. A Presence That Was Liked (--Gretchen Jones) if ever there was.

What really pushed "Future lover" higher up my ranking though was the live, and specifically the middle section. "Future lover" is not an easy song to get into, but Brunette made it work, specifically by knocking the rap break-

AND the following dance break-

Right out of the park! Princess was eating and her song was the buffet.

And honestly that's enough for a 12th place on my list. You know me, whenever we reach a new zone, we rank the competent people first since they're the ones I have the least opinion on. Brunette is good, i submit the live in Liverpool as evidence, I 'm sure we agree on that? "Future lover" was never more than a fun filler entry for me and I don't mean that disparagingly - every contest needs their also-rans and if the entries that pad out the numbers are good themselves, the contest usually becomes more enjoyable as a whole. Brunette was part of a strong streak that ran from Alika to Pasha, and she earned her spot, by delivering a strong and inspired live that was solidly good with no drawbacks. It's not something I'm passionate about, but "Future Lover" was top shelf Fun Finale Filler, and I wish the entries near the top of the scoreboard I put below Armenia had demonstrated the same level of quality.

---------------------------------------------

11. ICELAND Diljá - "Power" 27th place

Decade ranking: 34/116 [Above Lesley Roy, below TBA]

For the purposes of ranking ESC, I like to clump together entries I have similar feelings for to pretend the chaotic wreck that is this blog as a minimum of consistency. In this case I've completely given up lol <3 Diljá and Brunette couldn't be less alike if they tried. Where Brunette was competent, dignified and professional, Diljá gave negative fucks about how she came across and how it affected her point total. <3

That isn't to say, I didn't enjoy "Power" for what it was because I did, a lot. Basic catchy Electropop by weird indie girls is my safe zone, and where I can fully unwind, calm down and be myself (I suppose that's the introvert equivalent to zoning out to a girlbop? You couldn't pay me to move to a Loco Loco or Slomo in public, although I like both of them). You can defo be sure that I loved "Power" for all its shortcomings and man was it flawed.

As noted pre-show the biggest threat to Diljá was Diljá herself. Now don't get me wrong - I LOVE her. I love her annoying foghorn-like personality that blasted through her rehearsal tiktoks. I love how she, when asked what the best Eurovision song of all times was, served cunt by naming herself. I love how she gave zero shits about something as trivial as qualifying, and just went all out enjoying herself via the medium of her untreated neurodivergence. And of course, most of all, I love that she completely engineered her own demise in the semi, for no reason other than that she felt like it:

YOU HAVE NO PPPPOWER OVER MEEE ::is so overpowered by her own ADHD/autism she peppers her song with needless karatechops and backflips::

Like, I'm pretty sure there's a decent chance "Power" could have qualified in that second semifinal. The target after all was Alika, who was an obvious traditional jury carry. But Diljá threw all that away when she magikarped herself to death on that turntable. 😍

she could have chosen ANY aesthetic and she chose Lucie Jones in Arthur Fleck cosplay. 😍

She could have chosen any camera angles, and went for several ones where her back was turned to the audience.

In a sense, that was the most beautiful ending one could have imagined for Diljá's journey - a villain origin story turned flesh. Diljá would always be eliminated in the semis in any contest held acrpss the multiverses and it would always be through needless self-sabotage. 😍 AND SHE ALMOST QUALIFIED IN SPITE OF IT. REST IN P-P-P-POWER, my sweet anxiety princess.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE TEN BEST ACTS OF ESC 2023

THE RANKING