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eddiesguitarskills · 2 months

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It can’t all be bullshit Part 2

Read part 1 here

Eddie Munson x fem Reader x Steve Harrington (unfortunately no Steddie in this)

Summary: pinning after your best friend can be hard, especially when he doesn’t like you back. You were trying to get over a crush the last thing you needed was another.

AN: this is all I've written for the story, so I won't be as fast updating. Also, I'm sorry I write a lot for female-presenting readers it's just I find it easier to write it like that, especially with my dyslexia. However, if you guys want I can start reuploading the story with non-gender descriptions just might take it longer to edit it.

Warnings: Angst, use of Y/n, mention of break ups, miscommunication, sexual themes but no smut readers discretion is advised. Drug and alcohol use, and swearing.

word count 3.7kish

Monday morning came around quickly, which you were glad about. The sooner you could get away from that awful weekend, the better. Eddie hadn’t remembered anything from that night, or if he did, he didn't mention it. You were also glad that you didn’t want another argument, and you definitely didn’t want details on his love life. Not that you hadn’t thought about it, your brain was too cruel to not make you dwell on it, you also thought about Harrington was he okay? Not that you cared about him of course just one human looking out for another. If you happen to be looking around to see if he made it to school that would be out of curiosity not because you cared. Thankfully his locker was near to yours so you would eventually see how he was, to be honest with how the gossip spreads in this school you would hear about it eventually if the king and queen of Hawkins really had broken up.

I don't hear anything about it until a week later at lunch. You were a little late as you had been stuck talking to your English teacher, Miss Plant, and you felt too rude to leave despite the rumbling in your stomach. As soon as you got to the table, a conversation began. “Do you reckon his head hurt?” Eddie joked. “Whose head?” you said while sitting in your seat beside Eddie. “The king when he fell from his throne”. You were beyond confused. Were they talking about a new campaign? You couldn't remember a king in your current D&D campaign. Maybe you had been too busy dazing at your leader at the meetings to notice if there was a new character. You didn't want to feel stupid, so you nodded like you understood. It wasn't until the conversation continued and you heard the mention of Nancy Wheeler you understood. You knew Eddie and Steve didn't like each other, but some of his words seemed too harsh. You saw what Harringtons' wrath could be like, and you didn't want Eddie on the receiving end. You picked at your peas, not daring to look up, and you knew how they would all tease you about nagging again. “Maybe we shouldn't talk about this”. Eddie raised his eyebrow, stopping his rant. “Why are you scared?” he challenged. You shrugged back.

Everyone was surprised. You hadn't nagged, you hadn't come back at him, you had stayed remarkably calm. Eddie wanted to see how long it would take you to snap, but he didn't have a chance when Chris, taking the hint, changed the subject. “So when’s the date, Eddie?” Not realising this would be the thing to make you snap. Since when did he have a date? Indeed it wasn't with what's her face from the party? You thought he didn't remember anything from that party, and if he did, why hadn't he apologised to you yet? “Well, she wanted to come over on Thursday, but I don't know” he looked at you to gauge a reaction; that was your weekly bowling night. Don't shout. It's okay. It's only the night you look forward to most, and you don't have much to look forward to. It doesn't matter. Well, maybe it does, but not to him anymore. “Have fun” you say standing to leave the table, dumping the food on your tray. Any hunger you had felt had gone and was replaced with nausea.

You needed somewhere to hide because you weren’t going to the next period. You needed someone to cry or scream or both. So you disappeared to Eddie’s spot in the woods. You hold onto yourself for warmth, looking down, trying to be careful not to trip on the twigs hidden in the mud. You finally make it to the table without an accident when you see out of the corner of your eye a guy. You pray it's not Eddie or someone here for a deal. It was the last thing you needed. You weren't sure if you would keep your cool this time round, especially with the stupid tears that kept lining your eyes.

“I didn't think anyone else would be here”, he spoke. It wasn't Eddie, but it was someone you also didn't want to bump into. You hoped after that night you would never have to come face to face with Harrington again. “Sorry, I can go,”you say, hoping to make a swift exit. “No, it's fine, I don't own the woods”.

There is an awkward silence. You debated getting up to leave, but you were stuck there frozen. “Looks like I’m not the only one having a shit day.” You don’t dare look up. Yeah, you were having a bad day, but it didn’t feel right to compare it to a breakup. “Mine nothing compare to yours”. You look up quickly. You didn’t mean it to sound that way. “No, I meant I’m fine. I’m sorry about what happened”. God, did you sound as dumb as you thought? “So I guess everyone knows now”. You shake your head “just because I know doesn’t mean everyone knows”.

He weakly chuckles, but there is no humour behind it: “It kind of does. It’s made its way down to the bottom of the food chain”. Steve’s eyes widened. Shit, he didn’t mean to sound like that. “No offence”. He couldn’t help being how he was. Having to put up an act for so long makes it hard to realise when he was being a dick. “None taken”. You shrug. You were used to the name-calling by jocks, so his words felt like nothing. “So what happened to you?” You twiddle with the ring Eddie gave you on a chain. “Don’t worry about me”. Steve smiles. “It’d be nice to worry about something else for a change. So is it a guy?” You laugh at him. “Do you think all girl's problems revolve around a guy?”. He nods.” Well, that is very guy-like of you, but yeah, you’re right. This time, it’s a guy.” Steve’s face lights up with a smirk. “I knew it! So what happened.” You go to speak but look up, realising it is not a friend you are talking to. It’s a popular kid. Even worse than that, it’s the king of Hawkins high. “Just typical guy stuff.”

Steve took the hint you didn’t want to get into it, so they changed the subject. “I know you don’t owe me anything, but Can you not tell anyone I was here? If Principal Coleman finds out I cut, I’m dead” You almost wanted to laugh; the Principal would find out, but looking at his face, you knew he was deadly serious. “who would I tell?” He shook his shoulders. “I don’t know”. You smiled. “Exactly. I’m gonna have to start charging you for all the secrets I keep”. He looked utterly lost. “Huh?”

Eddie sauntered over, his metal lunch box in hand. He could only see Harrington and the back of a girl’s head. So he didn’t know who it was. “My spots are popular today. I’ve even got King Steve, and I assume his new plaything here.” You turn around to face him. Now was not the time for his antics. “Leave it, Eddie” you sneered. The boy’s eyes widened, and he shook his head. “Absolutely not” he grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the woods away from Steve.

After many tries, you finally got out of Eddie’s grasp. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”. The boy rolled his eyes, “saving you”. You repeated his facial expression, “I didn’t need saving”. He tutted and slung his arm around you. “You were about to be Harrington’s next prey; trust me, you needed saving.” You pushed him off. “We were just talking”. Eddie looked at you like he was telling off a child, not a friend and definitely not someone he fancied “That’s how it starts”. You hated that he treated you like you didn’t know how the world worked. “I don’t see why you care”. He shook his head. “I’m your best friend, of course I care”. There it was, the famous last words of any crush. You were officially friend-zoned, and you would never get out of that. You felt deflated, so you just nodded and followed him to his van and then trailer.

A month later you were going to another party this time it was your idea. Getting over this crush had been more challenging than you had planned, so you decided to do something the opposite of what you usually would. Tonight, you would act like all the other teenagers and drink till you forget. Or find someone to help you forget. When you told Eddie you were going, he insisted he took you despite your protests. How are you supposed to get over someone when he doesn't leave you alone? You had bought an outfit for tonight because your usual outfit of jeans and a tee didn’t feel fitting. So you bought a red tight spaghetti strap dress, you thought about wearing heels you put them on, but as soon as you wobbly stood up like Bambi on ice, you realised it wasn't the best idea, so you put on your black trusty Converse. It's nice to have familiarity and not feel like Bambi on ice when trying to catch someone up. You hear several impatient beeps outside; you would think you had made him wait for hours when he had only just arrived 30 minutes late, of course. Life is always on Eddie’s schedule. You just wanted to get to the party and out of his sight, so you grabbed your bag put on a layer of lipgloss and ran outside to Eddie’s van.

He had the window down. He looked at your outfit and shook his head. “You’re gonna freeze”. You were sick of his new habit of babying you; was this what you sounded like to him? Was this just him mocking you? The girl from the last party poked her head out. “I think you look hot. I’m Sasha (sorry if this is your name she is nice though) by the way”. You nod. “Y/n”, he brought her, of course he brought her. She was nice. Why did she have to be nice? It's easier to dislike someone when they are a bitch, not a beautiful soul like hers. You were even more jealous now you wish you could be more like her than you. You got into the back of the van as Eddie drove (over the speed limit) to the party. Sasha was super friendly along the way and kept asking you questions to get to know Eddie’s best friend more. The boy stayed quiet, in thought. He was struggling to keep his eyes on the road as he kept looking at you through the rearview mirror in disbelief.

When you finally got to the party, you found your way to the punch bowl, the pair not leaving your side. You picked up a red cup, filling it with the content of the bowl, whenever that may be. Before you could even put it to your lips. Eddie took the cup from your hands, pouring it back into the bowl, Tutting at you. “Are you okay tonight? You’re acting weird”. God, you were sick of his stupid face and stupid comments, but then it struck you this was your way out from the couple, from him. “You know I’m feeling a little weird. I’m gonna go to the toilet… it’s probably because of my period”. It was a lie, but you knew it would stop him from following you.

You went up the stairs and poked your head into a room, hoping it would be the bathroom. Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t; Steve Harrington sat on a bed, his leg tapping anxiously and anxiously. why did you two seem to have a universal magnet. “Sorry”. He looked up at you. You went to leave but were stopped by his voice calling, “Wait, you’re the girl who ditched me”.

“The girl?” You repeated him. “I have a name. It’s y/n, and I wouldn’t exactly call it ditched.” He laughed, getting up and shutting the door behind you. “What would you call it? I know it’s not your fault, though, was your boyfriend jealous?”. You glare at the thought, “he’s not my boyfriend”. He laughs. “Does he know that?” You turn to leave. “I’m not in the mood for whatever this is”. He holds your hand not too tightly, so if you want to go, you can, bringing you to the bed to sit down. You are stocked by yourself that you don't push him away, but the gentleness of this action makes your heart flutter. Maybe Steve Harrington could help you forget. “So he’s the one that made you cry”. Maybe not. You put your hands on your face, embarrassed “Is it that obvious?”. He pulls your hands away from your face, shaking his head. “He’s an idiot if he doesn’t see how beautiful you are”. You want to smile at his words, but they make you cringe. “Is this how you get all the girls?” He sighs. God, he had just been broken up with; maybe it was too soon to mention girls. “I’m sor-“ he puts a finger to your lip. “You apologise far too much”. You nod. “I just don’t want you to bite my head off again”, you mumble, fiddling with the end of your dress.

“When did I do that?” He had no clue what you were talking about, so why did you even mention it? “It doesn’t matter” you keep your eyes down. He uses his hand to lift your chin so you’re looking at him. “When did I do that?” He says as genuinely as he can. He was trying to be better, a more likeable guy, and if he wanted to do that, he needed to right his wrongs. “It wasn’t your fault; it probably just seems worse in my head because I wasn’t enjoying myself…and Eddie was being a dick and-“ he puts his hand on yours to calm you. “It was Halloween; I think you and Nancy had just had an argument. I guess you needed someone to take your rage out on, and I just happened to be there”. He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. Annoyed at himself, he couldn’t look at you. “It’s fine; I swear it wasn’t that bad. Otherwise, I wouldn't be sitting here. You just told me to fuck off and said bullshit a lot”. He looks over at you. “So you know what happened with Nancy?” you nodded “I got the gist”. He nudged your shoulder with his “thanks for not telling anything”. You laugh. “As you said in the wood, I’m the bottom of the food chain. I've got no one to tell.”

He wanted to beat himself up; he had fallen so far into the idea of popularity that he became what he swore he would never be a dick. “You aren’t, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like that.” You squeeze his hand. “Don’t go soft on me. I'm quite content being there . It means I can fade into the background”. He holds both of your hands and looks you up and down until his eyes land on yours. “Someone like you isn’t meant to fade into the background”. You don’t know what comes over you; maybe it’s how nice he’s being, that you had never been called pretty by a boy, or how handsome he looked, but you lean in and kiss him. Maybe it’s because you recognise the broken mess hidden behind his eyes. You instantly realise what you’ve done. You couldn’t blame alcohol for this. You had still never drank. You’re about to pull away when Steve brings his hands to your hips and pulls you onto his lap so you’re straddling him. “Where” kiss. “Do you” another peck “think” another “you’re going?” You giggle into his mouth and further the kiss. Your hips were rolling against his, which was out of your control, not that you or Steve minded. You were so lost in the moment that you didn’t taste the beer on his lips until he put his tongue in your mouth. You tried to ignore it, but after a few moments, that’s all-consuming your brain: the metallic taste of it.

Steve could tell you wasn’t really into it anymore, so he pulled away. He started to feel insecure. He hadn’t kissed a girl since Nancy had. Had he already lost his touch? “are you okay? Didn’t you like-“ you shake your head animatedly. The action makes your whole body shake against him, making him moan. God, he was super embarrassed now. He moved you off him before anything got more awkward, especially if you were to feel the semi he was sporting. Jesus, why were you so in your head about everything you had a way to forget, and you ruined it? “I really liked it” he refused to look at you, too self-conscious about the situation. He kept his eyes on the ceiling fan above him. “It’s fine, y/n”- you feel awkward, too, so you keep your eyes on the door in front of you. “I just get so in my head sometimes, and I don’t drink, so I tasted alcohol and- I don’t know” You got frustrated at yourself not being able to find words. You sounded like a complete idiot. No wonder Eddie didn’t want you.

Steve looked at you and started laughing, even though he thought you were stupid. “Wait, so the Alcohol is cock blocking me?” He wasn’t laughing at you. You felt a relief wash over you. He was laughing at the situation. His laugh was so contagious and charming you don’t think you’ve ever heard it. Before you know it, you can’t help but laugh too. “What did you think you were a bad kisser or something?”. He hit your shoulder playfully. “Of course not” He joked.

There were suddenly loud moans from the room next door. You both look in that direction and laugh again. You do a silly impression of the moan. Steve stops laughing and stares at you, surprised at how good you are at making that sound. She must have had a lot of practice faking it to be that good, he thought. The moaning next door suddenly got louder. You raised your eyebrow at him “wanna play a game?”. You don't know what had come over you, but something about him relaxed you. You didn't feel the anxiety you would feel around your friends, making sure they were safe. You just wanted to have fun. You hadn’t been like that in so long.

Free to just be yourself. He raised his eyebrows back. “I'm listening”. You moan again, louder this time. He didn't expect that. He wanted to laugh because it came from nowhere, but it turned him on. “Come on then”. (totally inspired by Easy A here) You whisper. He got the hint and moaned, too, not as loudly, though. You kept doing this back and forth, both getting more exaggerated and louder. It was hard not to laugh at how ridiculous you sounded. Next door suddenly got very quiet. “I think we won”, he nudged your arm. You burst out laughing. He had never noticed you before, but he was glad he had you tonight. He needed a laugh. He doesn't remember the last time he had actually had fun with worrying about the consequences.

There was a bang on the door. “Are you in there, y/n!?” you suddenly stop laughing and roll your eyes upon hearing your best friend’s voice. “Looks like your boyfriend’s jealous again”, Steve joked without thinking. But he then started to panic that maybe you weren’t friends yet. Was it his place to jok- you smack his arm. “Shut it, bullshit boy” you tease back. He would have hated hearing that from anyone else. But from you, he didn't mind. He wasn't sure why. Maybe it's because there was no malice in your voice. Perhaps it's because you had made his awful night better. His week is better. There is another bang on the door “y/n!” you glare at the door. Of course, he had to ruin your fun.

Wasn't it bad enough that he was breaking your heart? “I should go before he bursts a vein or something”. You get up to leave despite the voice in your head telling you to stay. “Thank you for tonight. I really need it”. You kiss his cheek. He smiles, feeling his cheek getting warmer and his heart beating faster. No, he wasn’t ready; he couldn't let this happen like this. “ I'm trying to be better, so I don’t want to lead you on. I don’t want a girlfriend”. You shake your head, going to leave the room, and scoff, “In your dreams, bullshit boy”. He shouts after you, hoping you can hear, “I'm not sure about this new nickname”.

Outside the door, Eddie has his hands on his hips like a parent. “Were you just in there with Harrington?” he says the name like it’s venom. “Yeah, so” just because he was your best friend, he had no right to tell you who to hang out with. You used to think his protective side was endearing, but now it was annoying. You couldn’t say anything about who he hung out with, so he can’t say anything about who you choose to spend time with. Well, that’s what you thought, but Eddie had other ideas, “are you trying to kill me?” He asks like it’s a serious thing that could happen. “Oh yeah, top of my to-do list” There you were, the person Eddie loved, the one with a comeback for everything, but now wasn’t the time for him to bask in your teasing contest that he lived for. No, when there was only a door between you and Harrington, that was too close for comfort for Eddie. He wasn't sure what the new relationship between you and the ‘king’ was, but he didn't like it one bit.

Taglist : @yourdailymemedelivery @kitkat80 @mewchiili @xprloki

@daisy-munson @exploding-bonbon

(if you wanna be added to the tag list let me know)

Masterlist link here if you are interested.

#eddie munson angst #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #stranger things angst #steddie x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things

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loudclan-clangen · 3 months

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Hey there!

Checking out Loudclan? That's great! Thanks so much!

Loudclan was originally planned to be drawn as I played the game like most other clangen blogs... Then I got frustrated about how slow it was moving and played ahead. Just a little bit, nothing to worry about, only about 1000 moons. So this blog should be running for A WHILE. I also take pretty big liberties with the designs and events. I think it's more interesting that way! Also it's been several real life months since I started playing and some things I just... forgot. Or lost. Either way, it's fun to stretch my creative skills.

As for the mechanics of the blog:

General Content Warnings Include:

Death, Animal Death, (Cat Death specifically), Death in Childbirth, Violence, Murder, Illness, Gore, Bad Parenting, Cheating, Affairs, Drama, Cursing, Language, Dirty Jokes, ECT. (if i missed something please let me know)

Updates are not going to be on a consistent schedule... ever. I'm a college student. I just don't have the time or energy.

The style is going to vary wildly. It's been years since I've consistently drawn cats and I wasn't ever really happy with the way I did it back then anyway. Come along for the ride with me! I'm just as surprised by what my hands create as you guys!

Overview:

Loudclan is set in a fictional location that is based on South Central Alaska. A group of rogues fled up the mountains to get away from the deep snows of the valleys at the beginning of a particularly harsh winter. The clan follows three "Leaders" in the form of the Leader, the Lead Healer, and the Lead Mediator. These leaders will each pass their position on to their oldest heir, the closest related member of their direct family. Issues regarding what happens when two cats have similar claims have yet to be sorted out by the clan, and may never be fully decided... *insert mysterious foreshadowing sounds*

If you are interested in more of a deep dive into the lore check out this post: Lore, or anything tagged #loudclanlore .

Want to see a list of all of the Loudclan cats? Go here: Allegiances.

Asks are welcome! I will do my best to answer them quickly and efficiently! I am happy to talk about characters, art, process, gameplay, pretty much anything. (I probably won't be showing sprites though, just because I've played ahead so far and a not insignificant amount of them are just... gone. Lost to the ether. Sacrificed so that my laptop could keep running the game.) All asks are tagged #loudclanasks .

Also fanart/writing/edits are more than welcome! You guys are so cool and talented and I am honored that you would want to make something based on my dumb little pixel cats. Referencing or imitating my style/designs/layout is absolutely allowed, just make sure to mention me so I don't miss them! All fan contributions are tagged #loudclanfan .

I will never complain about anyone "blowing up my notifications" or spam liking. I think it's so neat to see people go through the blog liking as they go. Don't worry about it. I enjoy seeing you enjoy my work!

A little bit about me, you can call me "D"! I use any pronouns, I'm pretty ambivalent about them but the majority of people use she/her for me and I'm fine with that. I'm 20, I live most of the time in Alaska and part time on a ranch in Texas and I'm working on my BA in Elementary Education. I started reading Warriors in 2nd Grade and stopped in 6th Grade but the brain worms never die. If you know me in real life no you don't: It took me all of high school to kill the furry allegations I'm not going through that again. Oh, and my main blog is @restinginpiecesofpizza but warning, there's spoilers for Owlstar's family tree for like 8 generations posted on there.

Anyway, thanks for checking out my blog! I hope you enjoy!

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winchesterdreamgirl88 · 7 months

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The Other Brother

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader also Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Cussing, angst, fluff, BAD WRITING

Summary: You and Dean used to have a small thing together, but you guys drifted apart and Dean left for a little while. After he left you and Sam became very close and eventually it turned into more. You were finally happy and content in life. But what happens when Dean shows up again after a year?

Word Count:2235

A/n: I want to do multiple different versions of this story eventually so keep an eye out for those:) Also I've had serious writers block so I'm sorry if this isn't the greatest. I'm going to try and get better at updating more consistently.

1 Year ago

"Fuck, I can't do this anymore Dean. Sometimes you act like I'm the best thing that's happened to you but recently you've been treating me like some random girl you picked up in a bar."

Things have been rocky with you and Dean for a while now. You got badly injured on a hunt fighting vampires and because Dean was so focused on trying to make sure you were okay 3 of the vampires got away, ever since then you guys have been non stop arguing.

"Oh please, Y/n, obviously you're important to me, why are you acting so crazy?" You and Dean had been together for about 6 months and things were going so well in the beginning. He was so protective, would defend you against anyone who even looked at you the wrong way, but recently you guys have been fighting a lot and it seems like he's done with you.

"Me?? I'm not acting crazy. You used to love me and protect me but now you never come home, we fight all time, hell you barely even kiss me anymore." You said tears started to form in your eyes because he couldn't tell how much he was hurting you.

"You know what I don't need this." Suddenly he turned around and started to walk towards the door. He walked out the door, walked out of your life, and never came back.

Present

It had been a year since Dean had walked out on you, and Sam. You and Sam had gotten really close over the past year. Sam and you began hunting together, you would take over on the research most of the time and Sam was more on the killing side. You two were close before Dean had left but once he was gone something shifted. One night about three months after Dean left you and Sam were doing research together in a library in Nebraska trying to hunt a Wendigo.

Sam had always had feelings for you but stepped aside once he realized you and Dean had. But on that night seeing you in the library with your face buried in a book with your glasses on and hair falling into your face he couldn't help himself. He leaned in closer and tucked your hair behind your ear causing you to look up at him and smile.

"Y/n there's something I've wanted to say to you for awhile now. I've liked you since the day me and Dean met you. You have the kindest heart, the most beautiful smile, your eyes can make me melt by just looking at them. I love you Y/n." Sam said with a sigh of relief that he finally said it.

"I love you too Sam." You said and leaned up to kiss him.

Time Skip 9 Months

You and Sam had been together for 6 months now and you've never felt happier. He was the best boyfriend you could ask for. He was loving, caring, attentive and the two of you rarely ever fought. One night you guys were cuddling on the couch watching tv in the bunker when suddenly someone bursts through the door. Sam and you both got nervous because neither of you was expecting anybody and nobody else you knew had a key. Well except for one person, but it couldn't be him right?

"Stay here, don't move, I'll be back." Sam said as he got up to investigate what was happening. After silence for a while you suddenly heard yelling between Sam and a voice you hadn't heard in a year.

"WHAT THE HELL DEAN! You can't just show up here after a year and expect things to be the same. You really hurt her, she was devastated when you left. You don't just get to come back and think everything's going to be okay. She's mine now! We've both moved on from you. I think you need to leave." Sam finally finished yelling at Dean, neither brother had noticed you standing there.

"Oh please Sam. I had to leave, I had to do what's best for everybody."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know where I've been the last damn year Sam? I've been hunting those assholes that hurt Y/n. I've been tracking them down and I finally found them in Ohio and killed every last one of them. They hurt her and I wasn't going to let them get away with it. I also had to leave because I needed time away from you." You were so confused by what you just heard you didn't know what to do. What did he just say? He left because he wanted to keep me safe? A million thoughts started running through your head.

"Me? What the hell did I do Dean?"

"YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH HER! You think I didn't notice, the whole time we were together I could see you always watching her. Always longing for her, always wishing that she was yours. I'm not an idiot. But you are my brother and she is the woman I love, I wasn't going to stand in way of you two being happy. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you."

"It looks like I was right, you two are together now and happy and made a better life for yourselves. I'll leave the both of you alone and figure out something else."

When the yelling finally stopped and both brothers finally calmed down they finally noticed your presence in the room. You looked like you had seen a ghost. You ran upstairs past yours and Sam's now shared bedroom and ran into the bathroom and started crying. You were so confused and overwhelmed. When you finally felt strong enough you walked downstairs to see both men just sitting in the living room staring at each other. When they noticed you Sam stood up and ran over to you and gave you a hug.

You accepted his hug but something felt wrong now that Dean was here, you couldn't help but look over at him and see sadness and regret in his eyes. "Sam, could you maybe leave us alone for a minute?" You asked hoping that you could just have some one on one time with Dean to figure things out.

"Yeah of course." Sam said with a sigh, pressed a kiss to your temple and went upstairs to his room. Even though you were nervous and hurt you went and sat down next to Dean on the couch and coughed nervously. He grabbed your hand surprised that you didn't pull away and took a deep breath before beginning to talk.

"I'm sorry Y/n, I just got so angry at the fact that I let those vampires hurt you I couldn't stand the thought of them being alive. I had to leave to make sure that they paid. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. I just wanted you safe, then once I realized that Sam had feelings for you it made me go crazy and scared. I know he's a better man than me. He can treat you better than I can. he's better for you. When I realized this I decided to leave so the both of you could be happy and finally start a normal life together. I'm so sorry I hurt you Y/n but I guess it's what I'm best at. You and Sam deserve to be happy. I'll be gone in the morning." And with that he dropped your hand, got up and went to the garage.

You sat there stunned and shocked. Everything you thought was wrong. The fact that Dean spent this past year trying to find the vampires that hurt you and kill them, the fact that he wanted you and Sam to be happy even if he wasn't, you weren't sure what to do. Sam suddenly comes down the stairs after hearing Dean leave.

He comes and sits next to you before taking your hand in his. "Look Y/n, Dean coming back here doesn't change anything. I still love you and I still want to be with you. All he's gonna do is cause you pain and suffering and I don't want to see that happen. But I can't tell you what to do, so it's your decision. If you decide to go back to Dean I'll understand. I won't make it awkward, or be mad. We can go back to how it was before no guilt, I promise." With that Sam left you alone with your thoughts.

As if a miracle happened suddenly you knew exactly what you wanted to do and who you wanted to be with. You got up off the couch and started walking.

If you choose Sam

You went into the garage to find Dean working on baby. He hears you come in and stops whatever he's doing to look at you.

"Look, I forgive you. I understand what you did and I will always be grateful for it. But things are different now Dean, I'm in love with Sam. He's the one that makes me happy. But I want you to stay, stay and hunt with us and it'll be like before." You said avoiding eye contact.

"Okay." He said with no hesitation. "I'll stay and we'll try to make this work. You guys deserve each other and I can see how happy you guys are. I'm glad you two found each other. Now go tell Sam before he decides to freak out on both of us." He says now talking with a small hint of a smile. You give him a really quick hug and then run upstairs to go find Sam. You start walking towards your guy's shared room and take a deep breath before walking in. Sam is just lying on the bed but immediately sits up when you walk in.

Suddenly you run over to him and give him a big hug and you feel him relax under your touch. "It's you Sam, you're the one that I want." You said with a big smile on your face. He returns your smile and leans down and gives you a quick kiss.

"I love you so much Y/n, it's always been you."

After a crazy day you both lay down in bed and fall fast asleep. You felt good knowing everything would be okay. You had both boys back in your life and you couldn't be happier.

If you choose Dean

You went upstairs to find Sam, even though you guys shared a bedroom suddenly you felt like you couldn't just walk in so you knocked on the door. "Come in" said a voice that sounded tired and exhausted.

"Hey, can we talk." You said entering the room and then shutting the door. "Yeah of course, come sit down." Sam said making room on the bed for you. This was going to be so hard, you didn't want to hurt Sam. He was one of most kind hearted people you knew, but your heart knew what it wanted. You took a deep breath before talking.

"Sam, these past few months have been great. You've been the best thing in my life, you've made me smile and laugh so much I can't even begin to describe it. But my heart belongs to Dean. I know it's risky and he might hurt me but it's what I want. I don't want you to be angry. Honestly I just wish everything could go back to the way it was before."

"Then it will." He said which made you slightly confused. "All I've wanted is for you to be happy Y/n. So if Dean makes you happy then you need to be with him. Don't worry about me, the three of us will go back to how it was before. Now go find Dean before he leaves." He said and gave you a hug. You got up and started walking towards the door. "Just know if he hurts you again I'm going to kick his ass." Sam said with a smile on his face. "Good to know." You said returning the smile and then running down the stairs into the garage to find Dean.

He had headphones in so he didn't hear you come in. You walked up behind him and placed your hand on his shoulder causing him to jump. He took his headphones out and turned to face you.

"Look, I understand why you did what you did, and I'm so grateful for it. I still want to be with you, my heart still belongs to you, I still love you. But from now on you have to communicate better. If something is bothering you tell me and we'll figure it out together. No more secrets okay."

After a little bit of silence you see Deans face form a big smile and then suddenly he picks you up and spins you around. This causes a big smile to appear on your face, a smile you haven't had in over a year. He decided to take you on a short drive to look up at the stars and talk about everything that happened since he had been away. You looked up at the stars knowing your heart was happy.

#dean winchester #jensen ackles #supernatural #supernatural imagine #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester smut #dean winchester x you #jared padalecki #sam winchester smut #sam winchester #sam winchester fluff #sam winchester x reader #supernatural fanfiction

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ohtobeleah · 1 year

Note

I need to know how Fe, Rooster and Dot’s Christmas was? What did he get them?

First update after Christmas. Oof—let’s get back into the swing of things shall we? As always, here’s the Series Masterlist for those looking to catch up.

Warnings Below: Smut! Mention of domestic violence.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you guys?” Jake asked one final time as you helped him carry his bags out to the taxi that was idling in the drive. “Because I can always call and say I've been asked to stay on base.” Jake was going home for the holidays, back to Texas where a large quantity of the Seresin family resided. He only really had one option, there was no way his mother was going to let him bail out of Christmas again this year–not after he’d been deployed for the last two.

“No, you go spend time with your family–” You really didn't want to be a burden on Jake anymore than you already felt like you'd become. Passing him the bags one by one as he hoisted them into the boot of the taxi. “Me and Dot will be just fine here.” Jake had invited you and your little girl to the Seresin family Christmas and it was a warm invitation you almost accepted. But being back in Texas meant running the risk of Jaidyn finding out where you had run off to. He wasn't a dumb man and if you set foot back on Texan soil he’d surely sniff you out–besides, you didn't really want the Seresin knowing you were hiding out in Miramar. They were a family who had only ever known money–and for a dollar they would out anyones dirty laundry. All except Jake and his sister Lydia. “Besides, Roosters gonna swing by and stay the night of Christmas Eve and then we’re gonna head off to Penny and Mavs place for lunch on Christmas day.”

“You two are starting to get pretty serious aren't you?” It had been a couple of weeks since Rooster had first stayed the night and a few weeks since you’d started to let your walls come down a little. Letting in the chestnut blonde who looked at you like you hung all the stars in the night sky just for him. “Not that i'm complaining, He’s a good guy–just gotta get used to seeing Bradshaw walking around the house in his boxer briefs is all.” It had been one time, Bradley had woken up in the middle of the night, skulking down stairs for a glass of water–he’d run into Jake who was doing the same thing. Only Jake was wearing pants and Braldley had decided that the few extra seconds it would have taken to put his sweats back on would have sent him into the early dehydration process. You chuckled as Jake drew you in for a hug, his arms wrapping around your waist as he issued the top of your head. “Keys are in the key bowl and I filled up the tank.”

“I should probably start looking at getting my own car huh?” You mumbled into Jake's chest before pulling away. The two of you normally carpooled to work and it hadn’t been an issue sharing. But perhaps it was time. “Still waiting to hear about staff housing, but I could look at getting a private somewhere a little more in town.”

“Let's table this for when I get back, yeah?” Jake was in absolutely no hurry to actually get you out of his house. He joked and he taunted and he teased that his humble abode had been taken over, but he would never toss you out. He’d never make you leave if you weren't ready to. You came to him for help, for protection. He was willing to play that role for the rest of his life. “Just don't burn the house down while I'm gone! And dont let Rooster in my fucking room.” He pointed into your chest before ducking into the passenger's side of the taxi. “You call me, if anything happens?”

“Roger that.” You tapped him off and stepped away, watching as you hugged yourself as Jake disappeared out of sight down the road. Leaving you somewhat alone since you first showed up on his doorstep unannounced all those months ago. It felt odd, silent. But soon enough as you stepped back into the house you shared with Jake the beaming sound of your daughter's favourite show Bluey could be heard ringing out from the living room where you left her.

“Looks like it's just you and me girly.” You sighed as you started picking up toys she’d discarded the minute her attention was drawn to the television. Crayons and pieces of paper that were scattered across the coffee table caught your attention as you noticed the unmistakable drawing of your daughter's version of a plane. “This Rooster baby?” You asked softly as you showed your daughter the drawing you were referring to. Her soft nod told you everything you needed to know. “He’s pretty cool huh?”

“He likes you mamma.” Dot smiled but her eyes never left the TV.

“Oh yeah?” Placing your hands on your hips you smirked back at your mini me. “And who told you that little miss?” Dot was still learning how to pronounce certain letters and sounds. Her R’s were still a little wonky. But you knew who she was talking about when her attention was finally drawn to you.

“Tooster did.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~

Bradley Bradshaw was for once, excited about Christmas. For the longest time he hadnt had a child around him to create the magic of Christmas for. He’d never been one big on it, coming from a small family that just seemed to get smaller and smaller every year that passed him by. It felt nice to know that this year would be different.

“How’ve things been without Jake here?” It had only been two days, but there was certainly a void that had ripped through the usually loud home. Without Hangman around? Things had actually been pretty quiet. He was always blaming the noise on dot and her abundance of obnoxiously loud toys. But as it turns out? He was the source of it all.

“Surprisingly okay, but we’ve been camping in the living room with all the Christmas lights on.” You explained as Bradley placed a few gifts he’d gotten for you and Dot under the tree. “Just couldn't bring myself to sleep upstairs.” Rooster just frowned at you as he stood–he wasn't blind to the bags under your eyes that looked a little darker than the ones you normally wore as a hard working single parent. “I know, super irrational.”

“You could have called me.” If Bradley had known you were having trouble, he would have come. Point blank, end of discussion. “But I get it, and it's not irrational.” It was nice to have your feelings validated. “But unfortunately we can't camp tonight, otherwise Santa won't be able to deliver all your presents. Will he Odette?” Bradley was quick to turn his attention to your daughter who'd come barrelling into the living room with her bowl of cut up apply. Scooping her up with ease as she giggled and laughed at being spun around.

“Mamma said we have to leave a cawwot out for the waindear and a glass of miwk for santa.”

“Ah, I'm pretty sure Santa drinks oat milk–he’s got a small intolerance to dairy.” You couldn't help but to stare at Bradley as he placed your daughter down. She’d gone right back to her original trajectory of the small chair by the coffee table–colouring in one of her many colouring books. “What?” He laughed as you pushed his shoulder softly, shaking your head.

“You wanna write me a list of Santa’s allergies Bradshaw?” Taunting Bradley as he followed you around the corner into the hall. You didn't want to subject your daughter to public displays of affection that might confuse her. So behind the wall that separated the living room from the hall that led up to the stairs, You pulled Rooster into you. Kissing him as his hands immediately went to your hips, pressing you against the wall as he deepened the kiss almost instantly.

“Feel like I'm back in highschool, sneaking around trying not to get caught kissing girls under the bleachers.” Bradley mumbled as one hand came up to cup your cheek, the pad of his thumb rubbed softly against your skin. “Only it's a curious toddler who will have my ass and not Mrs Rundle.”

“I don't wanna confuse her.” You whispered as your hand came down between the pair of you, palming Rooster through his jeans as he stilled and let out a breathy groan. “But after she's asleep, and Santa has helped me put out all her presents.” You cooed into Bradleys ear as you felt him growing under your touch. “I wouldn't mind being a little naughty under the tree.”

“You don't know what you do to me Y/n.” Braldys head was spinning as you continued to palm him through his jeans. “Christ I really am back in highschool, you keep doing that and I’m gonna cream my pants.” Before you could answer with some witty remark, Dot wall calling out for you.

“Back to motherhood I go–”

“I'm gonna go take a cold shower.” Rooster smirked as he left you with one final kiss, taking his bags upstairs as he adjusted himself with every step he took. “You’re killing me mamma!” Rooster cried out from the top of the staircase. You just laughed in response as you turned on your heels biting your lower lip.

***~***~***~***~***~***~

Christmas Eve at the hard deck was always a hard one to pick. Penny Benjamin never really knew what to expect when the time came every year. Last year, it had been packed to the rafters, but that had been because most of the crew that occupied Mirimar on a more permanent basis had stuck around. This yeah? Mostly everyone had gone back home to see their families. Besides you and Rooster? Everyone had left a few days ago. Leaving the Bar abandoned except for some stragglers and a handful of families that had drifted in for a cheap pub feed.

“What can I get you?” Penny sent the man sitting at her bar a quick toothy smile. He smiled back when he’d been acknowledged and shifted in his seat. Pulling his wallet out from his back pocket.

“A rum and coke thanks dear.”

“Anything specific?” Penny pressed as she turned to read out the rums she had on offer. “I've got Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, Gentlmens, Morgans, Kraken–” She listed them out one by one as she flung the bar towel over her shoulder.

“Gentlemns sounds good, Thankyou.”

“What's brought you into town?” Penny was good at making lighthearted conversation as she poured the man's drink. She’d been doing it for long enough to know how to go through the motions without getting too emotionally invested in whatever answers were thrown her way.

“Uh, I just transferred here from Kingsville–Texas.” Penny widened her eyes as she passed the man his drink, taking his card in return to run it through the eftpos machine. “Don't officially start till the third but I had nothing better to do.”

“So you're in the Navy?” Passing the card back, Penny leaned on the bar. “Hate to disappoint but most of the crew have gone home for the Holidays, they’d usually be here till dawn otherwise.”

“Yes ma’am, Lietantent Jaidyn ‘Zeus’ Dolan at your service.” Jaiydn sent a thousand-watt smile Penny’s way as he took a sip of his drink. “And that's alright, in due time I guess.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Did you ever believe in Santa?” It was a beautiful sight. Rooster on his knees neatly tucking the presents you'd wrapped together under the Christmas Tree.

“I think for a while there I did.” You sighed as you crossed your legs and sat back against the back of the lounge. Matching pyjamas matching Bradley’s and Dots as she slept soundly upstairs. “But after a while I think I started to question why Santa didn’t stop at our place.” Bradley kept placing present after present under the tree, unlike yourself when you were a kid, you wanted your daughter to remember Christmas as a time for family and friends and the gift of giving and receiving. You just remembered it as a time where all the other kids in the neighbourhood got whatever it was that was on their Christmas wish list—you? You were lucky if your parents hadnt loaded themselves enough to overdose on the back porch. “I remember accidentally ruining Santa for Jake one year because he’d told me he got this new transformer he’d been begging for and I told him his mum had brought it six months prior.”

“You Christmas Grinch, you ruined Christmas for little Seresin? No wonder he’s a dick now.” Bradley chuckled as he came out from under the tree. “You’ve really spoiled her haven’t you?” Looking at the sight, it warmed your heart. You had and you weren’t ashamed of it. You were in a position to do so.

“Yep, and I’m gonna make sure I always can.” It was the glow about you that had Rooster melting into a puddle at your feet as you spoke about your daughter. “I may be projecting but I’m always gonna make sure she has everything she needs, wants, desires.” Rooster smiled, creeping closer till he was sitting beside you.

“Has anyone told you recently that you’re a really good mum?” Rooster cooed as you looked his way, the light from the Christmas tree illuminating just enough of you that to Bradley you looked like a goddess in the dim glow. “And it’s not because of the presents, although an added bonus I’m sure—but you're a really good mum because you love her so much Y/n.”

You folded completely, all your walls, all your worries about not being good enough for Bradley went out the window for just a few fleeting moments. Leaning in closer to ghost your lips against Bradley as he leaned closer into you.

“Just know if you kiss me right now I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself—“ He whispered against your lips as you moved to straddle his waist on the floor. His back against the lounge. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Rooster—“ You whispered as his hands roamed your body, slipping up the back of your Pyjama shirt.

“If you tell me you don’t want this I’ll stop.” He reminded you before softly and ever so gently placing his lips on yours for a brief moment. Pulling away seconds later. “You gotta tell me you want me Or we’re just gonna keep going around in a circle.”

“I’m scared.” You knew Rooster valued honesty, so the truth of the matter is what he got. “I’m afraid I’ll let you in and I’ll be too much trouble than what I’m really worth.” Your forehead stayed pressed against his as your hands slid down his chest, unbuttoning the small line of buttons that kept the flannel closed. “That the more you learn about me, you’ll realise that it would be easier to run than to stick around.”

“Nah, I think I’m good where I am with you.” Bradley kissed you a little harder as you removed his top, exposing him for all he’s worth. You’d seen him shirtless a million times—but in this very moment he looked otherworldly. “I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me that you don’t wanna do this.”

“I do, I do wanna do this—“ You couldn’t hold back the soft moans that escaped as Bradley started a soft assault on your neck. Leaving butterfly-like kisses up and down the junction of your neck and shoulder. “But things are complicated, you have to know that—“

“I’ll do complicated for you, fuck I’d do just about anything for you.” Against your neck Bradley moaned as you started to move your hips across his crotch. “Please Fe, just let me in?” There had been a handful of times where you'd gotten close enough with Bradley that you’d almost followed through to a home run. But it had never gone any further than third base. Until now.

Nodding before you captured Bradley lips in a feverish kiss, only pulling away so you could remove your own shirt. Setting the pace for how this was going to go—Rooster caught on immediately. You were in control.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty Y/n.” Bradley smirked as your hands went to tug at the waistband of his pyjama pants, lifting yourself up to rid yourself of yours as Bradley discarded his own. “Do you wanna, maybe—“ He was trying to ask if you wanted to mess around first, but the look in your eyes told him all he needed to know. You were ready and you wanted him now. “Are you sure?” Rooster's voice hitched in his throat as your fist wrapped around his length, palming him up and down creating a perfect friction. “Ahh, fuck Y/n—ohhh.”

“I want this Roo, I want you.” You lined his lip up with your entrance—already slick and needy just for him. “Are you sure?” Nodding frantically, Bradley’s hands helped to guide you down slowly. Taking him inch by inch as soft moans echoed off the walls around you. “Ahhh fuck, yes!” Throwing your head back as you bottomed out on Bradley, he said still beneath you while you adjusted. “God, Bradshaw how the fuck do you walk around with this thing?”

“You’ll notice the slight limp now that you’ve mentioned it.” Rooster took your lips hostage once again as his hands helped to guide your hips. Slowly, you began to ride him. Bobbing up and down along his slicked up shaft. “Oh fucking Christ you’re perfect.” Capturing one of your nipples in his mouth—Bradley reveled in the sounds you made all for him. The whimpers, the groans of pleasure, the shift gasps whenever the head of his cock pressed against the velvety walls of your dripping cunt. “So pretty, all for me.” You’d never heard such loving praise before, and it was doing something for you.

“Please keep talking—“ You begged as your hands came up to rest on Roosters shoulders for more stability. Still remaining in full control. “Please Roo.”

“You’re beautiful mamma, so beautiful while you ride me.” He wasn’t lying, he was telling the whole ass truth. “Bet you look even pretty when I do this huh?” Rooster waited for you to tell him otherwise, his hand slowly coming down from your hip to rub small soft pressure against your bundle of nerves.

Ahhhhh fuck!—“ You didn’t stop him, if anything you got just a little faster as you picked up the pace to match his rhythm. “Bradley—I—I’m.”

“I’m right with you baby, I’m here—you can let you.” Bradley sweet nothings were coaxing you closer and closer to your high, a feeling so overpowering it took control of all your senses. “You don’t have to be scared, or afraid, you—Ahhh, ohh ffgghh, you don’t have to run from me baby I got you.”

Crumbling into a pile on Bradley's chest as you came, Bradley bucked his hips as you cried out through your high, jaw slack on his shoulder as he quickly gathered himself and pumped his shaft till his own high was splattering onto his lower abdomen. He didn’t want to cum inside you, he didn’t want you to get the wrong idea. He knew just from what you’d told him that it would feel like a sense of ownership—Bradley didn’t own you nor did he ever want you to feel like that.

“Holy shit, Y/n, that was—“ Bradley cut himself off when he heard your groans turn to gentle sobs, tears against his skin soon followed. “Hey, hey what’s wrong Fe?” It came out more panicked then it probably should have, But Rooster had never had someone cry after sex with him before. “Y/n? Hey darlin what's wrong? Did I do something?”

“Nothing–” Bradley cupped your face as you rose up to meet his gaze, the slightly rough pads of his thumbs worked to wipe away the tears that streamed down your cheeks. “I just forgot what it was like before the world fell at my feet.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~

The next morning, wrapped in Roosters arms, Dot had you both waking with a gasp as she screamed from her bed at whatever god awful hour it was.

“Holy shit.” Rooster groaned as you scurried off the bed to collect your very excited two year old. “I'm up, I'm awake, just give me a second.”

“Santa! Santa! Santa!” Dot jumped around as you picked her up with tied eyes. “Did he come mamma?”

“He sure did.” Rooster teased as he sat up rubbing his eyes. You sent him a look as you held Odette to your hip, settling her just enough so that she didn't break your hip. “What? I'm just telling the truth.” Rooster was quick to defend himself as he rose from his spot on the bed. All of you matched in the red striped flannel pyjamas and it was just the sweetest sight. “Come on you two, let's go see what’s under the tree yeah.”

You thought Odette’s eyes couldn't have gotten any bigger, but sure enough when she laid eyes on all the presents sitting neatly and tidy under the tree she’d helped you and uncle Jake decorate, she was screaming with pure joy and excitement.

Rooster took picture after picture for you on your phone so you didn't miss a single moment of Dots third Christmas. Her first was when she was just a newborn, born the eleventh of January. She was only just now starting to take things in, her brain starting to develop the ability to remember things long term.

When Bradley wasn’t taking pictures, he was cleaning up the sea of wrapping paper Dot had torn through. Two massive bin bags full of the stuff sat on top of the lounge. He couldn't believe just one little girl could make such a mess but here he was, trialling after her mess like every Dad ever on Christmas day ever.

“You didn't?” You beamed as you helped Dot in your lap and helped her unwrap the present Rooster had gotten her. “Bradley Bradshaw you surely didn't.” Oh he had.

“I know, I overdid it.” He ginned ear to ear as you held up the flight suit. Custom ordered for Dot. “But I couldn't help myself, she's an avid aviator already.” Holding the Normex up you couldn't help but to laugh, it was the cutest little thing. “Odette “Polkadot” Dolan reporting for duty.”

“This is just amazing, thank you–I'm definitely going to keep that even when she grows out of it.” It truly did mean the world to you. Rooster didn't have to get your daughter a single thing. But the fact he;d gone to such great lengths to make it something special just melted your heart.

“I got you something too.” Rooster crawled under the tree to fetch the box he’d snuck under the tree last night. Grabbing it out gently before passing it your way. “Here.”

“Oh–Roo you didn't have to.” You had grown up in a family where gift giving was barely non-existent. And when there was a gift involved it usually came with a but or would be thrown in your face at a later date. “Really–”

“Just open it.” Bradley huffed as he sat beside you, an arm coming to rest behind you as Dot squirmed out of your lap to investigate her newest toys. “And I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to.” Yuu didn't think arguing would lead you anywhere, so reluctantly, you opened the gift Rooster had gone out of his way to get for you.

“Oh Rooster–” You gasped when you opened the bracelet box. Speechless as Bradley kissed your shoulder.

“I've still got the receipt if it needs to get resized, the lady said the warranty should cover it.” It was the white Gold bracelet you'd been eyeing off each time you went past the jeweller in Westfields. “But I'm hoping it fits just right.”

“Can you help me put it on?” You asked just above a whisper as you held yourself together, not wanting to cry on Christmas morning. Noone had ever gotten you something so special. “It's beautiful.”

“Beautiful women deserve beautiful things.” Bradley clipped the claps together as you held out your wrist. “See, it fits perfectly.”

“Okay well, now you have to open your gift.” You sighed as you reached under the tree for Roosters present. “And don't argue that I got you something when you just did the same thing.” Calling Bradley out on his bullshit before he could even start, he held his hands up in surrender before accepting the gift.

“Oh. My. Gosh.” Bradley laughed as he unwrapped the present you had given him. “He’s gonna love these.” You couldn't help yourself after the whole boxer brief incident with Jake in the Kitchen. You'd given Bradley a few pairs of briefs with Jake's face plastered all over them. “For when I get up for water right?”

“Exactly, for when you get up for water.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~

Jake Seresin stood in the kitchen of his parents place on Christmas morning helping his mum peel potatoes of the potato bake she was planning to make for Christmas lunch. He’d already gotten over the festivities when he’d been asked about the possibility of a girlfriend in the future. He loved his family to death–but sometimes they were a little much. And when they all got together, they were a lot.

“I forgot to mention earlier that I ran into Jaidyn earlier in the week.” Jake recoiled at the name, he hated that the man who’d caused you so much pain behind closed doors for so many years played it off that he was an upstanding citizen.

“Who?” He pretended not to care as he peeled the russet potatoes for his mum.

“Oh you know Jacob, Jaiydn Dolan, He was dating Y/n for the longest time.”

“Ma, I haven't spoken to either of them for at least two years.” Jake had chosen to play dumb when it came to you for your own safety. He didn't even want his family knowing you were still as close as you were. “What's Jaidyn doing talking to you?”

“I ran into him at the grocery store, it turns out his reposting to North Island cone the new year.” If Jake hadn’t been paying so much attention to what he’d been doing, he was sure he would have cut his finger off with the potato peeler he was using. Gasping a sharp hiss when he slipped and nicked his finger.

“Ah fuck, Mum what do you mean he’s reposting to North Island?” Panic. Pure panic rose in the Depths of Jake's heart. This couldn't be happening.

“Well as it turns out that Y/n girl ran off with his daughter a few months back, just took off with her without a trace, he hasn't heard from her since and with nothing left for him here he decided to take up a new posting.”

“And he just told you this in the aisle of Wholefoods did he?” Jake huffed as he ran his hand under the stream of water racing out of the fossett. “Y/n probably left his bitch ass because he’s a wife beater.”

“Jacob Seresin!” Jake's mother hissed his way. “You know that girl’s no good, you always have, ever since you were kids.”

“Yeah well, not everyone can come from money ma—Y/n’s good people, she always has been—she just didn’t have good people around her, you know that.” It’s not that Jennifer Seresin disliked you. She’d taken you in more times then she could count on one hand. She’s even been the one who helped you get your driver's licence. But she had a distaste for people who could easily drag her beautiful baby boy down into the gutters. She knew with your background that wouldn’t be hard. “You know she’s a good person, heart of gold.”

“A girl with a heart of gold would run off with a man’s only child?”

“Just because you never had the guts to leave dad doesn’t mean Y/n had to tolerate the same treatment.” Jake was seething, he loved his mother with all his heart but sometimes she saw the world from a less than perspective. He couldn’t blame her all too much—it was his dad who’d reprogrammed her to believe the things she did. “If Y/n ran? She’s running from him mum.”

“What do you know, Jacob? Hmm? For someone who hasn’t seen or spoken to either of them in two years you seem to have an awful opinion on the situation?” Jake knew he had to quiet before the questions came down on him like an avalanche. He also saw just how much of a bullet you’d truly dodged forfeiting the invite he’d given you to the Seresin family Christmas. “That girl will always be family, you know that–if she's in trouble she can always come to us for help but lord have mercy on my soul if she ever corrupts my baby boy.”

“Did Jaiydn really say North Island?” Jake asked as he stood with his mother in the kitchen. Holding his finger under a cloth to dry it, stop it from bleeding.

“Sure did.” His mother confirmed as she went back to cutting her russets. Fishing his phone out of his jeans, Jake went to send Rooster an SOS message. Before he did, he noticed the text he’d missed from Penny yesterday afternoon.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Tags: @a-serene-place-to-be @lilyevanswhore@thescarletknight2014 @blindedbythelightt t @averyhotchner@emma8895eb @blairfox94 @caitsymichelle13 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo

#terms of endearment// bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x reader #top gun bradley bradshaw #rooster x reader #rooster x female reader

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ros3ybabe · 8 days

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Where Have I Been?

hello lovelies. so, I started the challenege, did one day, and all of a sudden I feel off the face of the earth. I fell into a bit of a depression, and while I've managed to pull myself out, life has been busy busy busy! This is probably the 2nd busiest week of the year (the 1st will be in August, and you'll find out why). Here's an update on life:

I fly to Colorado on the 16th, so....under 5 days now. I haven't packed or anything yet, but I plan on doing that either tomorrow or Thursday. And I have to clean and prepack for when I return because....

I signed a new lease for a new place to live! I'll have roommates who I haven't met yet (I'm taking over someone lease, actually), but my lease starts August 18th. I return from Colorado on the 14th of August, so....I'm going to be very busy once I return.

I decided to call it quits on getting a 2nd job. It's going to mess up the schedule with my first job, and it would only make me 200$ more a month, which I'm not worried about missing our on since I'll still sell stuff on depop once I return from Colorado and I'm going full time at my current job.

I've gone out to lunch with my dad a few times as well, it's been really nice hanging out with him and spending time with my dad. I lucked out in the dad department and spending time with him is one of my favorite things!

I've been debating going to San Fransisco in October for an XG concert, but I don't know if I'll have the money or ability to anymore. (thank you new apartment and all those fees and expenses!)

my anxiety has been terrible. I haven't changed anything about what I do, but I did squish a lot of anxiety inducing things into the span of two weeks, which....my bad on that. Now I know, don't do that to myself.

I bought new makeup! The juvias place bronzer, charlotte tillbury setting spray, nyx eyebrow stuff, and blush, ughhh I love buying new makeup, I just wish it didn't cost money!

I've gotten better at doing my makeup! I've had people not even notice I'm wearing it because it looks natural despite being like, a full face! Thank you perfect color matches on my skin tint, foundation, and concealors!

I went to two movies with a friend. We saw the new Strangers: Chapter One and the Planet of the Apes movie. Both were definitely good, in my opinion.

I now have to plan with my boyfriend for when he needs to come down here and get his stuff and work out changing the utilities to our roommates name since I'm leaving. I don't feel like it should be my job to coordinate that, but oh well. I guess it's too hard for him and his best friend (my roommate) to call each other for once?? Ugh, men get on my nerves sometimes.

I need to ask my dad and a friend to help me move upon my return, which also means I won't be able to work that weekend, which kind of sucks.

I need to declutter my room and start throwing away things I don't want or need anymore this week to make it easier on myself when I return from Colorado but hahaha I procrastinate a lot.

I'm stressed about paying rent. I'll have to pay rent for here and rent/fees for the new place before august and then September's rent for the new place, and my new rent is about double what I pay now. so yayy, adulting and finances. I don't feel qualified to be an adult, but here I am, age 21, an adult.

That's about it for now! Lots of stress, lots of anxiety, lots of stuff happening super close together. But that's life, I guess. Forgive me for my absence from my blogs. I also stopped studying spanish for now, and my routines are non-existent. Colorado will change that, tho, for sure. I do plan on updating a little more frequently once things settle down when I'm in Colorado. but for now, it'll be kinda here and there with my posting.

thank you for all the patience and kindness, lovelies. til next time 🩷

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stoopid-turtle · 10 months

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On the Acceptance of Unsteady Ground

Throughout this whole dive into turtle world, I've been very conscious of just how LITTLE access to information I have. I'm relying so heavily on English translations and platforms, and most of these are from turtles, so I'm fully aware I'm getting a biased perspective.

I've tried to read stuff from solos or even just neutral third-parties. The neutral parties don't have much depth of information, though, and I found solos heavy on accusations and declarations but light on actual...evidence. And they sometimes use some really nasty rhetoric against the idea that gg and dd might be gay.

Don't get me wrong, turtles get weird too. There's plenty of clearly false rumors, deceptively edited videos, silly stretches of logic, weird ideas of what how people in a relationship would act, etc. But there's at least enough English-speaking turtles that I can find some who are giving open and, as far as I can tell, accurate information (honestly, I find tumblr turtledom better at that then other platforms). I haven't really found a similar pocket of solo fans.

I'm also aware that there's always going to be a limit on how much I can know. I don't speak the language, so I'm always relying on translators. I have limited access to Weibo (even putting aside the language barrier, I'm in text confirmation limbo in actually getting an account), and I have little familiarity with the culture. I don't get a lot of the jokes or references, and stuff may strike me, an English-speaking American, differently than it would someone in China.

Add on top of that the fact that I'm trying to find out purposely obscured information about two celebrities, and, yeah, I'm fully aware that I'm on unsteady ground here. I can do my best, but I'm never going to know anything for certain.

But I've become okay with that.

It took a while. The dissatisfaction with the unknown (and unknowable) is what drove a lot of my early fixation and subsequent fall into the turtle pit. But now, especially after laying out my thoughts, I've reached a zen place with it. I'm 100% certain ggdd were together during filming/promo, and I'm 95% certain they're still together (I had this at 85% originally, but then the whole dd being sick and gg changing his schedule thing happened and I'm just...welp, guess I'm in this confidence interval, then).

Just having that certainty means I can enjoy updates from them without anguishing about "proof" or uncertainty. Oh, gg took the day off on dd's birthday? That's really sweet! I'm not gonna fuss about if it's coincidence ENOUGH to convince me, because I'm already convinced. It's a good place to be.

I typically don't care about celebrities. In fact, I've long been bewildered by celebrity culture here in the US, and I've often been actively annoyed when people assume/expect me to have opinions on things celebrities do. I'm the nerd who doesn't get why the actors get all the attention when the writer or director would be much more interesting.

So the fact that I've gone all fangirlish over two celebrities is bizarre to me, and I appreciate the irony. Well done, me. I attribute some of it to just being able to watch the bts and see their early interactions play out like a story. I find stories compelling, and both gg and dd are charismatic, attractive and have great chemistry. Whatever disdain I have for celebs, I do love a romance.

In my foray into the ggdd world, though, I've also had to learn more about c-ent, and y'all. It's nuts. Like, US entertainment is nuts too, but c-ent ratchets it up to 11. I've been in fandom a long time, and I thought I'd seen some weird stuff, but it's got nothing on c-ent. Just wrapping my head around the culture these guys are in took a lot of learning.

But I appreciate being able to dive into this culture and this country, because I knew very little about China beyond the antagonistic politics. It's been refreshing to get a view on life on the ground in China to humanize the folks there and get a clearer picture of the country.

I started this thing bc I had been spending so much time on Youtube watching clips, and I had thoughts and opinions and nowhere to put them. I already had a tumblr that I use to lurk on some fandoms and I had started following turtles too. I figured tumblr would be a decent place to splurge out my thoughts, so I set up a throwaway account to do so.

I get the vibe that a lot of new turtles come to bjyx through the same route I took? They watch The Untamed on Netflix. They get curious about the show and start watching some clips on YT. Next thing you know, they have 3 playlists full of purported "proof of love" and they need a whiteboard to connect everything together and their wife thinks they've gone completely bonkers supports them in all their oddities.

Like, I was really confused by turtles at first. I was just trying to watch bts videos on YouTube and I didn't know what bjyx meant, but the videos with the label were weird and had strange disclaimers that they were "only for turtles" and I had no clue what that even meant.

My confusion continued as I tried to read more. The fake story disclaimer convention is hella confusing as an outsider, and my first impression was that turtles were kinda crazy. The videos I saw gave overviews of candies without context, and some of them explicitly said they were proof of Yizhan love while still having that fake story disclaimer. Basically, it was a big confusing environment, and it's why I resisted buying into bjyx so hard for so long. It all seemed delulu.

But in reading more, I guess part of that is the point? Recognizing that gg and dd are in a vulnerable position should their relationship ever come out, having so much noise to muddy the waters makes a twisted, clownish sense. I don't know who came up with that convention or if it just kinda happened (is it a normal thing in c-ent? I don't know enough about celebrity fandoms), but hats off, I guess.

With the supertopic recently hitting 4 million active fans, there's something heartening about such a depth of support for the guys. I'm not naive enough to think all 4 million (plus international fans) are allies to LGBT folk in general, but it surely means something to ggdd to have that sort of support for their relationship. Honestly, it means something to me, as a random gay chick on the other side of the world, to see a gay couple get that kinda of support behind them.

I started watching the bts because I was afraid there'd be a lot of cynical homophobia on the set or some evidence of all the male cast being icked out by the whole thing. Instead, I got gg, who was so passionate about WWX being gay. I love that everybody knew they were telling a love story with as explicitly as they could get away with. I love that the guys wanted more Wangxian scenes and that the cast and crew made "everyday is everyday" jokes in a non-mocking way. I'm glad that the whole shoot seemed like such a positive environment for the cast and crew to being themselves and tell a type of story that they may not be able to be involved with ever again.

So, yes, this is my zen turtle place. When I set up a soapbox for myself, I didn't think too much about the fact that people would respond, but I'm so grateful to have had a chance to talk to some other turtles! Everybody is lovely and thank you for sharing my enthusiasm.

Like I said in the beginning, I don't have the time to keep super-active in the long-term. I had intended to write up my thoughts and poof away. But I do also plan to keep up with gg and dd and turtles, so instead I'm just gonna leave off with the potential for further posts down the line.

I'm not gonna be incredibly active, so please don't expect frequent updates or interactions from me. But if I have more Yizhan thoughts I'll pop up again with a post (I mean, I do have lots more thoughts, but nothing energizing enough to write about), or I'll leave a comment somewhere if I have something I simply must say. I'm also open to responding to asks about the timeline or anything else. And if I ever do stumble across anything groundbreaking with regards to the timeline, I'll probably add that in, because I'm particular about things being complete.

So thanks for being so welcoming! It's been a joy to clown around and make up completely fictional stories with everybody here. 🤡🐢🙇🏼

#yizhan #bjyx #gg and dd keep being ridiculous and it makes me ridiculous #also always gonna read moar fanfic #rooting for them #waiting for that tell-all book

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joojconverts · 10 months

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Update!

Hey everyone! You might have noticed that my activity here on Tumblr has been reduced a lot recently, or you might not... either way, it feels like it to me! Because I hate not addressing things to you guys, I feel obligated to let you know what's happening!

Long story short, I'm preparing for the next (and very important) step in my life, professionally and personally speaking. That means I'm trying my best at being someone in life, building my skills, focusing on very important things IRL, and all that jazz you hear from every 17/18/19 year old...

That doesn't mean I think conversions are not important at all in my life, it's actually the opposite. I learned soo much being here on every aspect that englobes converting, from 3D modeling, to Photoshop, to english. However, there's no doubt that for the past 2 years I've been pushing my personal, IRL-building projects to make room for my Sims 3 and conversions itch I so much love. And unfortunately that has to stop some time, and that time is now...

I swear, if I could make sims 3 converting my job I absolutely would, but we all know the world is not that great lol, and we have to sacrifice some things to keep the machine and ourselves happy.

This little update also does not mean, in any way, that I'm completely gone from the community and that I'm retiring as a converter, it just means that I'm going to release my conversions at a much slower pace. I'll probably come with a big hit once in a while haha. I'll also probably be online often, to distress from whatever's happening!

I'm eternally grateful, as I've said so many times, to everyone who has helped me over the years, being moral or technical support. It's because of you guys that people like me feel inspired to make the Sims version they always envisioned!

And to you guys who follow me for a long time, and for those who have followed recently too: My biggest thanks for being an amazing community that supported me to this day!

I still have some things to release from SimsFromThePast, and I'm working on a big set right now, at my own time, that I plan to release eventually! I'm doing what I can to make it perfect!

Let's hope that, once I'm settled again, I can make many more historical clothes and furniture for your simmies haha!

(Not a) goodbye!

💖

#update #joojconverts #thank you

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profound-imagination · 2 years

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Finding Home - Eris Vanserra - Part 5

A/N: Sorry it has taken a while to update! Disney and Universal have been non-stop! Having a great time though! It's a short chapter but I wanted to update!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Azriel was speaking but you couldn't hear him, it was like your head was being held underwater. "You can't go back to Autumn, like Lucien." Azriel's words were clanging around in your head as you gripped onto his forearms, to his credit, Az was the only thing keeping you upright at the moment. "Can't go back to Autumn." Can't go home. Sound came back to you as Azriel lowered his mouth to your ear. "He didn't tell you?" You shook your head. "Okay, just keep dancing, I'll get you out of here, don't break yet." You gave him the slightest of nods and continued to dance, double checking your walls were up, you didn't want Eris in your head right now, didn't want him knowing anything was wrong. You weren't ready to face him.

The cold night air hits you like a wall when Azriel had skillfully maneuvered you outside, he'd kept his back to Eris, his wings hiding you from view. "Az, is this a way to keep me here?" You breathed to the Shadowsinger. His intense eyes met yours as he shook his head. "No one is going to keep you here, you just can't go to Autumn." You couldn't believe what was happening, had Eris really agreed to this and then promised you that you wouldn't be kept from him? "I want to go back to Winter if I can't go with him, back to the cottage, I don't belong here, Az." You were getting frantic and you were panicking, Azriel nodded. "I'll take you there myself, but not tonight, you need to speak to Eris first." Tears started to fall down your cheeks. "Why didn't he tell me, Az?" He sighed "I don't know, maybe he wanted you to enjoy tonight? For you to be with your family so you knew you had every single one of us here to support you when he did?" You rolled your eyes at him. "You're meant to be on my side, Az." He wiped the tears from your cheeks and said "Are we going back in, or would you like me to take you back to the house?"

Azriel had escorted you back to the house, Blaze was thrilled you were home, abandoning Nox, Nyx and the Wraith babysitters and followed you like a shadow. You'd just removed your makeup when Eris burst through the bedroom door, Blaze let out a happy yelp at the sight of him. "What's wrong, love?" He asked, ignoring the puppy, his eyes were full of panic but you were full of anger. "One second you were there, the next you were gone and you're blocking me out?" You scoffed at him and he furrowed his brows. "I'm blocking you out?! Were you going to tell me that I can't come home with you or were you just going to leave me here?!" His mouth fell open but you didn't give him a chance to speak as you continued. "Is a crown and a throne really that important to you? Can you not just be happy with me?!" He blinked twice. "Love, it's not like that!" You rolled your eyes "Then what is it like, Eris?" You snapped at him. "I did it for us!" You scoffed. "Us?! How does being a High Lord make any difference to us?! I love you Eris, for you, the sweet male who saved me when I needed saving, the one who taught me how to dance, the one who built a life with me in a cosy little cottage!" He stepped towards you, you stepped backwards and he sighed. "You would be my High Lady, my equal in every way, we'd rule together, build a better Court, open it up to visitors." You scoffed again. "I don't care about that, I never wanted to be a High Lady! I just want my mate!" He took another step towards you and you stood your ground. "Y/N, I need you to understand that this is my life, it's all I've ever known, it's all I've trained for, to be a High Lord."

Silence hung in the room while you formulated a response. Eris was wringing his hands nevously as you opened your mouth to speak. "That's not good enough, Eris. Tomorrow morning Azriel will take me back to the cottage in Winter. When you decide you need your mate, that's where I'll be." He visibly tensed at Azriel's name. "Love, please don't do this, don't push me out." You met his eyes. "You decided for me Eris, your decision cut me out of your life, I'd follow you anywhere, but you've made a deal where I can't even come home with you." He opened his mouth to speak but no words came. "Please leave me alone, I'll come and say goodbye in the morning, but I can't even look at you right now." The words left your mouth so quickly but so quietly you weren't sure he heard them. He had heard them, he was on his knees before you. "I'll come with you, I'll give it all up." The word you spoke next surprised not only him but yourself as well. "No."

You had settled into a routine over the following months, had settled into life in the Winter Court. It had taken Eris less than a week to earn your forgiveness, it wasn't hard considering you'd take him in any way than not have him at all. Blaze had stayed with you, well, he'd been left with you and had huffed about it for the first month of living in Winter. You weren't sure who missed Eris more, you or him. Each time Eris visited he looked worse and worse, more exhausted and there was less fire in his eyes each time. His father was running him ragged and had piled responsibilities on him on top of the ones he already had, a tactic to keep him away from you, but he still came, was still with you three nights a week, most of the time slipping into bed long after you'd fallen asleep, you would wake enough for him to pull you into his arms, kiss you and tell you to go back to sleep, sometimes you would, but more often than not, the two of you would explore each other in the most sinful of ways, falling asleep in a tangle of limbs, coated in sweat, blissed out and reveling in the afterglow of one another.

Six months, it had been six months since the meeting in Hewn City and it'd been a year of being with Eris. Blaze was huge, long gone was the little puppy you'd fallen in love with in the kennels. Eris was due back at any moment and you were shifting nervously in your seat, unsure of how to deal with the situation you had found yourself in, unable to focus on the words on the page of your book, Blaze huffing at you everytime you moved from his place by your feet. His ears perked up and he shot towards the door and you started to nervously chew on the skin on your thumb. You had to tell him, he had to know, had every right to know. The front door opened and there he was, as exhausted as ever but still beautiful, he stilled as he entered the cottage, trying to work out what was different, confused by the fact that Blaze has sniffed at him once and returned to your feet.

His eyes met yours in a silent question, he knew, of course he'd know, he'd scent it as soon as he entered the cottage. You took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant. Kallias sent his best healer, they confirmed it yesterday." He didn't react, just stayed where he was, staring between you, the protective hand you had on your stomach and Blaze. He said nothing as he turned and left. Your heart broke and you began to sob.

#acomaf #acosf #acotar #acowar #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #a court of wings and ruin #acofas #eris vanserra #eris x reader #eris acotar

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cloud-somersault · 4 months

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Hey, how are you doing? I hope you’re alright. 💕 I’ve been reading your status updates on Constellations and the Epilogue, and I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re amazing. Your writing is incredible and I love it. Your stories are so well thought out and the characters are ✨on point✨, and the plot is complex and detailed and aaahhh! It has me hooked! 🤩

And I understand how it hurts when you put so much effort and love into a story, only to post it and not see others be anywhere near as excited or invested as you are. I know how discouraging it can be. And it may be a little silly, but I do want to apologize for not commenting lately—life took some difficult turns for me healthwise around the end of last year and I haven’t been able to catch up! I’m still on Chapter 4 of Constellations! 😭 BUT Chapter 5 is open on my phone, and I am READY to read it as soon as I have the time (and mental energy, but that’s a whole ‘nother issue 😩). Don’t worry that your writing isn’t enough, or be discouraged if some readers don’t catch hints while others are figuring it all out seemingly too easily. Everybody reads and comprehends stuff differently, and it’s not a sign that your writing is bad if they don’t catch it! Honestly, I’m pretty bad at catching hints the first time I read a story unless they’re pretty darn obvious. I don’t usually notice subtle hints until the second, or third, or even seventh read-through, haha! (on the bright side, rereading stories and rewatching TV shows is always fun!) 😅

I guess what I really wanted to say is… don’t give up hope. Don’t lose your love and enthusiasm for your works, or feel like they aren’t worth writing because others don’t seem interested in them. At the heart of it all… at the end of the day… write because you love to. Because it makes you happy. And know that it doesn’t have to be “perfect”—the main goal should be that you enjoy it. That’s something I’m trying to teach myself, too. 💕

Thank you for taking the time to write this message and send it. I appreciate you're very kind words 💕I'm doing okay, I just had to take a step back for a bit from socials and stuff. I'm gonna keep that up for a while.

Please don't apologize for not commenting or taking your time reading. Your health always comes first, and I'm sorry if I came off as childish or needy, that wasn't my intention. Two things just happened that set me off and the timing of it was incredibly poor 😓

Please take your time reading; none of it is going anywhere, and don't feel obligated to leave comments either. i'm realizing that, even if chapters are short or long, finding the time to finish things is difficult, and everyone lives different lives. And I'm sorry about all the spoilers on this blog, I'll tag that better from now on.

But I really do think I got confused or disjointed in my perceptions; everyone here knows so much because i've been asked questions and given answers and people have interacted, so people following me here have more context than the average ao3 user. But I've kinda been expecting everyone to be on the same page, which will never be true.

I'm also the same way where it takes me a while to pick up on hints. I actually changed my writing style to prevent this. I got tired of reading books in college where you had to dive into every little thing. the hints and clues weren't obvious to me. I decided then that, when I wrote, I wanted things to be bold, obvious, but beautiful. I didn't want to make readers feel like they're missing something. I wanted them to trust that every answer, every clue would be answered in time. I made that promise to myself a decade ago, and being reminded of how different people interpret things just...made me remember.

I take writing really seriously, probably too seriously, but I've been doing it for so long and I love doing it. I want to be good at it. When it feels like I've gone back on that promise to myself, I get frustrated. I think of ways I could've fixed things. But I also remember that those books and those writing styles just weren't for me. I wasn't the target audience.

Sorry to go off on a tangent, but I wanted to explain why I got upset. I still love Constellations and I'm posting it on ao3 out of convenience, really. It's easier to reference and search there in one "Entire Work" than to have 5 documents open. The fact that others can see and read and have fun is a bonus. But I'm committed to telling this story, and I'm gonna finish with a bang.

Thank you, I won't forget why I'm doing this and that my thoughts/feelings come first! 😤I hope your health concerns are taken care of soon. Take it easy, and thanks again! 💕

#ask #this is very kind i'm sorry i worried people i was just REAL upset/mad #but i'm better now. i just needed to take a minute and refocus and remind myself of a few things #we're still chugging along #but seriously thank you for sending this. i'm really glad you like constellations! that means a lot to me #but seriously--health comes first. and DON'T FEEL PRESSURED TO COMMENT!!! 😤#okay love you bye~ 💕

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elvenbeard · 11 months

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2077, April

"You really think I can make it, survive this?"

"'Course you can. I mean, you did already die and come back once, didn't ya?"

The chance of a lifetime the Konpeki Plaza Heist should have been turned Vince's existence into a living nightmare. Going from "just living, day by day" to "sheer survival, at all costs" in the manner of moments and following a row of bad decisions made by everyone involved, this was now definitely his last chance to get his life back on the right track. A second chance, after so many other second chances he'd already botched... while the one who would've really deserved another shot was now gone from Vince's life forever.

Jackie, the one person he had never regretted to trust in, who had never let him down, helped him out of the greatest messes, wouldn't be at his side through his biggest challenge so far. Vince would often lie awake at night wondering "What if he'd just kept the damn biochip? Would he be here now, instead of me? Why am I still here when he'd deserved it so much more?"

But then again... Jackie wouldn't have deserved Johnny Silverhand, Vince's newly acquired brain parasite from days long gone, unwanted voice of unreason, and perpetual threat to his mere existence.

Vince was dying, losing himself, little by little, day by day, after it had taken him ten long years to get to a point of self-acceptance and recognizing his strengths, desires, what he truly wanted from life. It was the cruelest irony of fate imaginable.

Misty's words accompanied him through his darkest moments: as long as your heart's still beating, there is hope.

Vince never wanted to be a legend... but for Jackie's sake, he'd make sure everyone would remember their names. He'd survive this, get rid of the Relic, of the terrorist in his brain, and make it out alive. No matter the cost.

Vince through the years (7/9)

A handful of before and after screenshots this time:

Some slight colour adjustments, and a little Relic-like glitch effect like it happens to Johnny whenever he's visible!

Also these two didn't make it to the final set, but I still really love the flying sparks effect :O These are completely vanilla, done in vanilla Photomode without path tracing. There's a lot of particle effects going on at Afterlife that render very interestingly sometimes (I think only since the graphics update though, since pics in Photomode take a moment to render, creating this motion blur/ long exposure effect). Sometimes this a bit annoying when you want to go for a relatively clean shot, but these looked really kinda cool for once xD

I've also been playing around a lot with a free filter plugin (search for GMIC) for Photoshop that has some really nice glitch effects, chromatic abberation, amongst many many many others :o If you don't know it and use Photoshop (although I think there are versions for other programs available as well!), I can definitely recommend it!

Now, to what I wrote above the cut, briefly. This is a relatively short post compared to all others in the series cause it's obviously the one aligning with what canonically happens in game and there's no need to retell all that in great detail xD What I wanted to focus on though was Vince's shift of mind between pre-Heist and post-Heist.

Before the heist, when Dex asks him what he wants, a quiet life or a blaze of glory, Vince is internally leaning more to a quiet life. Assuming though that that's not what Dex would wanna hear, probably, he deflects, gives him no clear answer. But yes, after having to run away from home, struggling on the street, busting his ass for Arasaka and barely making it out of all of that alive, had it not been for Jackie, he has no intentions of just throwing all his growth and progress away by blowing himself up in some daredevil endeavour. He's reached a point where he genuinely likes himself, his body, his life, and while he's not perfect, still in recovery from his time at Arasaka, and has done messed up things to get here, he would've been content with just small-time, low-risk merc work for the years to come.

With Jackie gone though, who has been a constant guidance over the last 10 years, with everything that rains down on Vince during the post-Konpeki shitstorm, I think this would change. He's being told "you're gonna lose yourself, forget who you are", "the body you literally shaped after your own wishes will soon be Johnny's", whom he cannot stand, no one wants to work with him initially after such a legendary failure, he has "a few weeks, at most" left to live... fuck all that, so hard. He's gonna fight tooth and nail to make it out of it alive, forget the quiet life.

He's gonna make sure as hell that, if all ends up being in vain, people will remember him and that he didn't settle for the easy way out. If he has to die, he'll do so standing - maybe scared, but head held high. Cause everything else would be a disservice to how far both he and Jackie have come together, to who he is at his core: a rebellious kid who once rather would've taken on a whole Valentino gang on his own instead of calling his corpo mother for help, someone who quit his secure job because he refused to keep taking the abuse from his boss, who risked his life for his best friend despite sending himself down a spiral of despair in the aftermath. He's not scared of getting his hands dirty, of forging his own path (alone, if need be), and of taking risks if he thinks they're worth it for himself or the people he's loyal to.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 vp #cyberpunk vp #cp2077 #cp2077 vp #virtual photography #male v monday #male v cyberpunk #cyberpunk v #corpo v #jackie welles #misty olszewski #my vp #vincent ezaki #vince through the years #my boiiii has gone through so much x') and there's more to come #but he'll get his happy ending after so much shit I promise

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newtthetranswriter · 7 days

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hii, hope ur doing well !! saw that requests are open :] can u do a reader x nacht where they're having an argument and nacht snaps at reader? that's all, thank uu !! <3

Word Count: 1673

Pairng: Nacht Faust x gn!reader

Warnings: Slight spoilers about Nacht and Morgen, mentions of death, blaming people for things out of their control, self depreciation, Nacht wishing he was the one who died, I think that’s it but let me know if I missed anything

A/n: Hi, thank you so much for the request. I love Nacht and writing for him makes me happy even if this is like the second time I've done it. I will say I couldn’t think of a citation where Nacht snaps at the reader so I flipped a little bit. Anyways I hope you enjoy and as always remember to hydrate or diedrate.

Restoration after the Eye of the Midnight Sun’s last attack took quite a while. But eventually with all of the Magic Knight Squads working together, we were able to restore most of the Clover Kingdom. Once it was decided that the Squads could return to their regular routine, Yami allowed the Black Bulls to all take a couple of days off to relax. For me the mini vacation period was greatly welcomed and allowed me to complete a tradition that I had to miss due to the previously never ending battles.

Normally I would make this trip around the beginning of May, but taking the trip in the middle of June was better than never making the trip. I sighed as I approached the familiar graveyard. It hurt to think that at only 29 I would be visiting a friend at a graveyard. Approaching the grave I had sat in front of numerous times, I fought to repress the memories of the first time I stood in this spot. Instead I focused on the purpose of my visit.

I knelt down whipping off the layer of dust that had built on top of the headstone, smiling gently at the name carved into the granite. “Hey Morgen, I know I’m late but you won’t believe what has happened the past year.” I said as if I was having a normal conversation. It was a personal tradition to visit Morgan's grave and update him on all the happenings in my life. I always tried to visit close to his birthday but again things had been crazy lately.

It was probably about twenty minutes into my one sided conversation when I felt a familiar presence behind me. While most people would be alarmed to have a person suddenly appear behind them as if out of the shadows, I was used to it. Even after six years of no contact, Nacht’s mana felt exactly the same. “Welcome back to Clover, Nacht just visiting or are you here to stay?” I asked, turning to glance at the hooded figure standing only a few feet behind me.

“What are you doing here?” His voice was monotone, not hinting at his feelings. It wasn’t a surprise really, Nacht has always been cold. But what was a surprise was the slight glare he gave as he made eye contact with me.

Trying to ignore the glare, I turned back to Morgen’s grave. “You know just updating Morgen on the eventfulness of the last year or so. Back to my question, are you finally back from your mysterious mission or are you just stopping by before disappearing again?” I asked, trying to hide the feelings that surged forward after remembering how he left six years ago.

“Why do you feel the need to update Morgen on anything? He’s dead.” Straight to the point just like always. Nacht has a knack for avoiding questions.

I sighed standing up. “He may be gone, but that does not mean he isn’t looking out for us. Plus I needed someone to talk to after my boyfriend up and disappeared without explanation. So I figured I’d visit his twin and keep him updated on my life. At least I know where Morgen is at any given moment.” I explained, failing to hide the venom behind my voice. “Now care to tell me why you’re here Nacht? Cause I doubt it has anything to do with Morgen.”

I was greeted by a moment of silence before hearing footsteps approach. “So you come speak to my dead brother because I was sent on a mission that I couldn’t tell anyone about? Why not just move on with your life?”

For some reason my natural response to the question was to laugh. “Why not move on with my life? Really Nacht, really. Don’t act like you know what I’ve tried to do over the last few years. Moving on is easier said than done, especially when any shadow that moves reminds me of you. And I don’t care that you couldn't tell me about the stupid mission. What I care about is the fact that you could have at least broken my heart before you left so I wouldn’t have had the hope that you would return to me someday.” The laugh had quickly ended. In its place tears began trying to escape.

Nacht remained quiet for a moment before speaking. “Why would you have hoped for me to come back? I left no evidence that I planned to return.” He was remaining monotone, and for some reason his calm tone only left me more upset.

“I hoped for you to return because that’s what you do when the person you love disappears. But now that I think about it, you're right, why would I have hope that you would return. It’s not like you cared for me in the first place, afterall if you had you might have actually found a way to let me know you were alive these past six years.” I’m not sure if I even believed what I was saying. I think I just wanted him to react more. The look on Nacht’s face said I struck a nerve but he was too composed to actually let out his emotions, so I figured I’d take another jab. “What no defense? I’m not surprised the last time you truly cared for something, it was too late before you realized it. Now look where we are. Standing on his grave, the grave you put him in.” As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted it. If there was one thing Nacht would never forgive himself for, it was Morgen’s death. And I knew that better than anyone, having spent many nights assuring Nacht that his brother’s death was not his fault.

Slapping my hands over my mouth I tried to think of how to take back what I had said, but the damage was done. I watched as Nacht’s calm face morphed from surprise at my words to what could only be described as dispare. “Thank you for the reminder of my failings. Thank you for the reminder that my lust for power and praise lead to my brother’s death. And thank you for reminding me that it should be me laying six feet under.” If I didn’t know him, I would have thought that he was fine. But I had heard that tone so many times, and I hated that it was brought back because of me.

“Nacht no, it’s not your fault. I was upset, I just wanted you to actually talk to me. Maybe finally tell me why you never tried to reach out in the six years you have been gone.” I tried to reassure him. Hoping that he would believe that I didn’t mean it. I quickly whipped the tears from my face and stepped forward. I reached out to him hoping that physical contact would help comfort him, but he just backed away. “Nacht please, I never meant to hurt you. I just got you back. I can't lose you again.” I pleaded, no longer caring about the tears that rushed down my cheeks.

Nacht turned to face away from me. “No, it’s fine. We both know it’s true that had I not listened to my parents, Morgen would have never been killed.” I could tell he was hurting as his calm mask cracked. “And to finally answer your question, I figured if I left without warning you would forget about me and live happily with someone who didn’t kill their own family. I had hoped that at the very least you would resent me for abandoning you.” He may have been facing away from me but I could almost hear the tears he was holding back. “From the sounds of it I was right, and you do have every right to be angry with me. I’ll be going now, I was also here to visit Morgen but when I saw you I had to know what you felt.” He explained, summoning his grimoire preparing to slip into the shadows and out of my life once again.

I surged forward in panic, summoning my own grimoire. I summoned a large flame in one hand and grabbed onto the back of Nacht’s cloak with the other. If the flame didn’t cast enough light to prevent him from slipping away then he would take me with him wherever he was trying to run off to. Realizing I had acted to stop his escape he dropped his grimoire and glanced over his shoulder at me. “I could never hate you. And I sure as hell could never forget you Nacht. I was upset for so long and I thought I was over it but seeing you again. All that anger and sadness came back. I’m sorry for taking it out on you like that. I should have tried to have a civil conversation like adults.” I apologized hoping he would accept. “Please just don’t leave me again.” I pleaded, releasing his cloak and extinguishing my magic.

He turned to face me again. “I’m sorry for leaving and I’m sorry for not checking in. If you would be okay with it I would very much appreciate having a civil conversation.” And Calm Nacht is back. “I would also like to make it up to you for leaving, if you’ll allow me to.” He finished while gently resting his palm against my cheek. This was the Nacht I remember, mostly calm and collected but willing to allow his emotions to show through small gestures.

I just nuzzled into his hand for a moment enjoying the contact I missed for the last six years. “I will allow you to makeup for leaving, as long as you promise to never say it should be you who’s laying six feet under again.” I said resting my own hand on his cheek.

He nodded before placing a kiss to the palm of my hand. “I promise.”

#x reader #black clover x reader #nacht x gn! reader #nacht faust x reader #nacht x reader #newt writes #answering requests

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