#hi harvey enjoyers accept this

[midostree-art]

He is still very fun to draw :)

[painstakinglybad]

That's right. I'm gonna post Stardew headcanons

Assigning Stardew Bachelors/Bachelorettes songs that I've played with my band

(I'm sorry Penny enjoyers, she's not here because I didn't have anything that would work for her)

Alex

Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz

We're starting strong with this one

I feel like he'd listen to it while he's working out. He totally listens to rock and a lot of it's subgenres

The song is fun to play, it's groovy (literally and metaphorically), and it just feels like him yk

Elliott

Don't Fear The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult

I think he's existential. He's a writer, how can he not be??

Totally spiritual, he just doesn't talk about it

One of those people who has a very polite and respectful relationship with the concept of death

Harvey

Burnin' For You - Blue Oyster Cult

He listens to classic rock sometimes… he wants to feel cool

Really lonely, but he's chill about it (on the outside 🥀💔⛓️)

Dad bod brings dad energy

Sam

Greener - Tally Hall

HERE'S THAT PART AGAIN WHERE EVERYTHING'S WHERE IT SHOULD B-

He's so… early 2000s rock music

Dramatic teenage boy I swear

He'd probably listen to Tally Hall– that's probably what his music sounds like too– or Good Kid

I resisted the urge to mark him as Even Flow

Sebastian

Reptilia - The Strokes

Oh, he is edgy, and oh, how his heart aches

He makes sure no one is at home and just screams it out I just know it

If he did vocals he'd probably sound like Julian Casablancas– or at least have the same energy

He probably listens to The Strokes anyway, it's Alt Rock and he's 100% the alt part

Shane

Under The Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

He is… so very sad

The song is about,, subjects… subjects that apply to him

He'd probably be an RHCP fan

Abigail

Godzilla - Blue Oyster Cult

She's funny

She's a nerd, and she totally rocks the fuck out to this 😭

Probably tried to convince Sam and Sebastian to cover it, they absolutely agreed

Emily

Misery Fell - Tally Hall

She's weird and metaphorical

ABSOLUTELY one for peace and love and acceptance

Spiritual mom going through a midlife crisis - coded

Haley

Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears

I think it's very her in the sense that she's ambitious, but a little narrow minded

Probably listens to music in this style or from around this time for the aesthetic

This song has a really annoying structure, just like she's annoying to interact with before you gain her affection

Leah

Crooked Teeth - Death Cab For Cutie

She probably listens to Death Cab

Absolutely wrecked in her last relationship. She felt unloved, and, much like the song suggests, the relationship itself was going nowhere since neither party were really made for each other

She's so sweet and I love her like I love singing this song

Maru

Rio - Duran Duran

There's just something about it

I feel like she'd listen to Duran Duran to begin with

She's really unique– and special- she's very much different from the other Bachelorettes since almost all of them exist in my mind as the same archetype- like Rio, she is an individual

[statusquoergo]

I started rewatching Suits (I actually watched the original run when it was on) and I'm into late Season 4. I forgot how absolutely ridiculous the show was but so enjoyable. One thing I just don't understand is why Rachel and Donna want to be married to Mike and Harvey. For me, if I'm married I want to be my spouse's first priority and they are definitely not. Harvey and Mike will always put each other first, not their wives.

I don't think I can answer that, honestly. Well, I can give an answer, but... Okay, just please remember that this is all on the writers for being shit at writing women. If Donna and Rachel were real people, I'm sure they'd both be absolutely lovely human beings, based on their actions in, let's say the first two seasons.

Anyway.

I think Donna does realize how important Mike is to Harvey, and up to a certain point, understands that Harvey will always put him ahead of her, but once he leaves, all that goes out the window. Even as Harvey's actions are so shaped by how much he misses Mike that Donna can use that to predict his behavior, in her mind, Mike is gone and Harvey needs to get over it. "Harvey, Mike left... [T]he reason he left is because he finally came to terms with who he is. And now that he's gone, who you are is a man who wants back in the game" (s08e01). She's the one who's here now, and Harvey should be grateful to have her.

Rachel is a little bit the opposite of that, in that she knows how important Harvey is to Mike, and is very aware that Mike will always prioritize Harvey over her, but refuses to accept it. Donna waited until Mike was gone to make her move, but Rachel prefers to grab the bull by the horns and get Harvey out of the way herself. She doesn't want Mike to fully cut Harvey out of his life (which would be an absurd ask in the first place), but she's decided she should be Mike's top priority, and gets angry when that isn't the case. It's not a totally unreasonable expectation; she's Mike's girlfriend, Harvey is Mike's boss. The problem is that she never seems to really try to understand why Harvey always comes first, or approach Mike calmly with how much of a problem that is for her (which is par for the course for this show, though, so what do we expect). She's similar to Donna in this sense, where she wants Mike to be what she imagines him to be rather than what he is (Donna does the same to Harvey); she just responds to it in a different way.

This show really is ridiculous, isn't it? 😅

[harveyguilleniconodelamoda]

Costume Spotlight: Andy Leonard from Cursed Friends

I am so excited about this one! I've been researching it since I started this blog, thinking it would be a relatively fun-and-easy post to make. Hoo boy, was that incorrect! Though the outfit looks deceptively simple, and the process of researching was certainly fun, it has some specific details that it took me forever to confirm from the few photos and production stills I had access to.

That being said, I did find the final piece just yesterday! I was so over the moon, I may have spiked my phone like a football in my excitement. So strap in as I break down and over-analyze ever piece of this outfit from a Comedy Central made-for-TV horror movie (and if you haven't seen it, warning: there will be some mild spoilers for Andy's arc).

The Outfit

The outfit Andy wears for the majority of the film is a oversized, millennial pink sweatshirt with a ribbed collar and sleeve cuffs over a pair of fitted black bike shorts. It's simple and comfy--which makes sense, because he first wears it while at his job as a personal trainer to one of his influencer clients. It's similar in style to this sweatshirt from Gymshark, but it's also the kind of thing you could find almost anywhere activewear is sold (style-wise; the color is not so easy to find, which is wild for reasons I'll get into in a moment). Key notable features are the thickness of that ribbed crewneck collar and sleeve cuffs, and the slight blouson shape of the sleeves themselves, a bit puffier than your average sweatshirt.

But it's the color that I find most interesting. Millennial pink--which is any of several shades of warm-to-neutral pale pink that were ubiquitous in fashion and design trends throughout the 2010s--is a color rife with sociopolitical implications. Which sounds like an insane thing to say, but hear me out.

When everyone in my generation was trying our hardest to navigate capitalism in our own ironic, detached, thoughtful ways (for the purpose of changing the system from the inside, of course!), millennial pink became the color emblematic of that mindset. It was softer, less threatening than the more saturated hot pink that ruled throughout the early 2000s. It was also, at least initially, a symbol of my generation's attempts to push back against the harsh expectations of society and "the real world."

See, for our entire childhood and adolescence, millennials heard our elders smugly declare that we'd see how right they were about everything once we encountered the real world. And then we did...and said "yeah, no, this sucks, I don't accept this!" And boy, they hated that. But I digress.

The color is also sometimes called tumblr pink, and what was tumblr in the mid-2010s if not a digitally-created "softer world" where "everything is gay and nothing hurts"...a world where aesthetics, earnestness, and attempts at social consciousness were married in a way that wasn't seen anywhere else within the social media landscape? Tumblr was where you came to be among like-minded people who may not agree with you on exactly how the world needed to be different and better, but at least agreed that it absolutely did need to be different and better. And the soft warmth of millennial pink was like carrying a bit of that into the real world, at least until corporations grabbed hold of it.

For your enjoyment: some of the most millennial selfies I've ever seen (affectionate, relatable) from Harvey's Instagram.

Millennial pink and its sisters--rose gold, rose quartz, dusty rose, and the like--formed the color pallet of my 20s. They were in everything, from home design to album art to magazines to technology. Girlbosses became the mainstream portrait of popular feminism, with millennial pink as their shade. Sparkling rosé became the official drink of the girlbosses and wine moms alike. It was in everything from fashion to makeup to hair to phones--the rose gold iPhone and hair trends come to mind--and could not be escaped. I did in fact dye my hair Millennial pink at one point (or try to--it came out more of an electric peach, unfortunately).

A moment of silence for my roots. Also sorry rose gold iPhone, you will never be the raspberry pink Motorola Razr.

These soft pinks were linked to coolness, chicness, realness, and even wellness--specifically the wellness rebranding of diet culture in the mid-2010s. "Clean girl" cosmetics companies like Glossier adopted the color as part of their branding. Pantone named it one of the colors of the year, and their VP explicitly linked it to "the rosy glow that comes along with good health." (Source)

It has also been described as a warmer, more "gender-neutral" shade that spoke to the more fluid and egalitarian approach Millennials have to gender roles and relationships (at least when compared to our parents and grandparents). Famous and famously desirable (at least at the time) men--such as Harry Styles and Drake--adopted it for their album covers. It was also ubiquitous in men's spring and summer fashions, with pink button-ups and shorts being all the rage. Given the warmth of the shade, it was almost like a greatly-desaturated Nantucket red, which fit it neatly into the overall preppy fashion repertoire. (Source)

The Guardian described this color as representing "a kind of ironic prettiness, or post-prettiness. It’s a way to be pretty while retaining your intellectual detachment. It’s a wish that prettiness could [be] de-problematised." (Source)

All of this to say, millennial pink is inextricable from the fashion of the 2010s, the ramped-up consumerism permeating society and culture at the time, and from Millennials' early 20s and the progression from optimism to exploitation to burnout and cynicism we all experienced to some degree. For Andy, who embodies the anxieties that created for our generation, it's both perfect and ironic that he's covered in this shade, given how hard he's trying to pretend he's not a Millennial for the majority of the film.

The Accessories

Andy's two accessories were the real reason this post took so long. They're so distinctive, which made settling for close enough impossible for my weird little brain. And yet by their very nature as accessories, they're small on the screen and hard to get great images of! But at last I managed it, and can confirm that Andy's bag is the Chanel 20A “Rainbow” Reissue wallet on chain in metallic goatskin.

The bag has a really interesting history as a variation on the Chanel 2.55, which was first released in 1955 and popularized the shoulder strap bag for women. It was considered revolutionary in part because it allowed women to keep their hands free while carrying it. The design was re-released in 2005 as the Chanel 2.55 Reissue, and has remained a popular Chanel mainstay since. (Source)

Bragmybag describes this style as an "addiction" and touts its popularity among the fashionistas of Instagram.

This particular color is from the Chanel Pre-Fall Metiers d’Art 2020 collection, and is considered a highly sought-after collector's item among Chanel enthusiasts. It originally retailed for $2,900, but is now priced at over $4,000 pre-owned on sites such as ThredUp, eBay, or Depop. It's a classic bag style in a quirky and gorgeous limited edition color. It reminds me of the foil wrappers on chocolate eggs at Easter, or the opal hair trend of 2017-2018. A bag like this definitely plays into the girlboss/influencer vibe. To the fad-beholden type of person Andy is trying to appeal to, it would project an air of effortless coolness and means, someone who is both up on the latest trends and able to drop several thousand dollars on a wallet.

After the Chanel bag, the platform sneakers were even harder to find. Their shape is so distinctive, but every search for "platform sneakers" came up short the first few times. Then I tried an image search on a zoomed-in, blurry version of the photo above, and that led me to Buffalo. Buffalo's platform boots and sneakers definitely approached the vibe of Andy's shoes, but weren't quite there.

Then, in the similar image search under a picture of the Buffalo Aspha NC Mid platform sneaker, I saw a photo that looked remarkably similar to the shoe Andy is wearing, including the plastic snap buckles...and I clicked...

And there they were:

The Demonia Slacker-50 platform sneakers in white holographic patent and baby pink multi glitter.

These shoes...listen. I love fashion, but I'm not a big shoe person. I live most of my life going back and forth between the same two pairs of Tevas. That being said, there is not a single era of my life so far in which I wouldn't have been dying to wear these.

The combination of the millennial shade of pink but with the early 2000s "new millennium" iridescence and multi-colored glitter, the totally 90s lace-up hi-top closure and side snap buckles, the platforms? It's like every era of my childhood, teen years, and young adulthood were somehow distilled into a single shoe design. Xenon Girl of the 21st Century would wear these shoes. Lizzie McGuire would get into some hilarious mishap trying to walk in them. Pepper Ann would have a whole storyline about coveting these shoes and trying to make enough money to buy them. I'm eyeing my bank account as we speak and trying to convince myself I don't need these shoes just to cosplay Andy (but also I do need these shoes, like, spiritually).

Demonia, is an alternative fashion and footwear brand based in Southern California and founded in 1999. Their footwear is sold at Dolls Kill and other popular alternative fashion retailers, but they also sell direct from their own website, DemoniaCult.com. They're not quite a nostalgia brand, but they're definitely nostalgic and a brand your average small-town, fashion-minded emo/goth kid in the early 2000s would have lusted after fruitlessly when it came time for back-to-school shoe shopping (not that I speak from experience or anything).

The Makeup

Though obviously actors are always wearing makeup on screen, it's often meant to be understated enough on men to pass as "no makeup they're just that pretty." But this is a role where we're really meant to notice the makeup.

The heavily filled in brows, the black eyeliner tight-lined all the way around the eye, matte foundation, black mascara on the top and bottom lashes...the wash of brown shadow above the crease, heavy-handed bronze contour, and pink lip. It all calls back to makeup trends that would have been popular at earlier points in Andy's life--the brows, matte base, and contour in particular screamed 2016 to me--the kind of thing you might keep wearing even though it's no longer on trend because it feels good and you think it makes your features pop (and to be fair, they do pop!). Ironically, this choice of makeup also makes Andy, who is chronically attempting to fit in with and pass as Gen Z, look his age more than Harvey ever does.

Andy's Characterization

Andy, like the other characters, really struggles with holding onto the past. For him specifically, however, there's a dimension of being terrified of aging out of his dreams and becoming irrelevant. He wants to be an influencer, he wants to be the person other people take their cues from, he wants to be seen and adored by millions...and that's a possibility he feels slipping away as he hears more and more from people like Candace Nicaragua about how his generation is no longer cool.

Every aspect of Andy's outfit seems meant to underscore the ways in which he lives in the past, whether it's the farther-off past of his childhood when he was still truly close with his besties, or the somewhat more recent past of his 20s, when he was part of the age group that sets trends and that consumerist culture seems to cater to.

In a way, he embodies the exact type of anxieties we're seeing every day from Millennials on Tiktok and other social media. We're not aging gracefully, y'all, at least not in an emotional sense! Where the intergenerational discourse between older generations and Millennials focused far more on our differences in approach to work and the economy, the discourse between Millennials and Gen Z seems fixated on who's cooler, who's more relevant, whose trends or music reign supreme. It seems entirely frivolous, but it hides a deep fear of being pushed aside and forgotten that has followed us since the 2008 housing crash made all our parents' "you can be anything" and "go to college and you'll have a good, comfortable life" talk into lies.

And while the movie definitely plays into that intergenerational conflict, it focuses more on the friends' inability to be honest with themselves and each other about the way they, their lives, and their friendships have evolved since they were kids. So it's great that Andy's big climactic character moment comes when he realizes that it's just silly for him to be seeking approval from these younger people who aren't actually any cooler than him, don't have anything more figured out, and most importantly, don't really know him. What use is coolness and youth when you pit it against friendship and authenticity?

When Andy embraces his age and boldly states that he will never apologize for his friends and that he likes what he likes regardless of how "cheugy" it is? I felt that, okay? Being unmoved by the negative opinions of others is a battle I've fought my entire life, and seeing Andy figure it out was cathartic, no matter how seemingly silly the context.

Affordable Options

You can get black bike shorts almost anywhere that sells activewear. These stretch cotton bike shorts from Jessica London are extremely comfy and come in sizes 12 to 38/40. They're originally $29.99, currently on sale for $17! REI also has a variety of similar styles in a wide range of prices and sizes, for both men and women.

The sweatshirt is a bit more challenging to find, but Jessica London has a few options, all under $55, in sizes up to 5X (women's US size 38/40):

Boxy Fleece Sweatshirt in Misty Rose

Hooded Sweatshirt Tunic in Dusty Pink

Sweatshirt Tunic with Shirttail Hem in Pretty Lilac - I have this one, and it's very comfy and looks much more screen accurate on my plus sized body than it does on the model in the product photos.

The closest to screen accurate I've found is actually from Amazon, though I'm trying to stay away from recommending Amazon products as much as possible on this blog. This option is only available up to size XXL, but it's made to be oversized and according to the listed measurements, an XL would fit me loosely (for reference, my bust measurement is 55 inches).

Uniqlo also has a pink crewneck sweatshirt that's a viable option, available up to size XXL.

The platform sneakers actually qualify for my "under $100" affordability threshold, retailing at $95.99 from Demonia. But if you want some slightly cheaper options with a similar vibe, here are a few I've found:

BCBGeneration Riso Platform Sneaker - $69.30 from Nordstrom (currently on sale)

Coconuts by Matisse Nelson Platform Sneaker - $85 from Nordstrom

Converse Women's Chuck Taylor All Star Hi Lift Platform Sneaker in pink - $74.99 from Famous Footwear

Guess Women's Miram Platform Lace-Up Court Sneaker in pink metallic - $41.40 from Macy's (currently on sale)

The bag is the hardest part to find an affordable dupe for. I've searched and searched, and there's just very little out there that feels close enough to screen accurate that's also under $100. Your best bet is to find a bag with a similar vibe and add a chain to it if you want to cosplay Andy. Some great options:

Quilted Clutch Handbag from BagsBySimplyShere on Etsy - $35

Rainbow Metallic Quilted Clutch-style Purse from WildwoodTreasureCo on Etsy - $40

For me, because I'm extra, I've actually decided to make my own from the ground up. If it goes well, I'll post some photos here!

[auncyen]

Osvald watches Elena peer out the window at the sunset, momentarily distracted from his tome. She's been watching the sunsets often the past few days. At first he thought it was for aesthetical enjoyment, but the small frown on her face contradicts that notion. "Is something bothering you, dear?"

He expects something is, even if he does not know what yet. Their lives have both been turbulent for the past few years. She did not remember him after she was first saved from Harvey's twisted experiment, and he was too afraid trying to coax her memory back might harm her--he would never forget how distressed the normally calm Castti had been upon recovering her memories in Healeaks. Even now that she has remembered, he worries prison has left him inadequate as a father. His caretaking skills, the stability of their lives as they are still lodging with Lady Clarissa: there are any number of things Elena could find fault with.

He isn't expecting what she says.

"The sun's setting sooner." Elena glances away from the window to look at him, and his puzzlement must show on his face because she keeps going: "The nights are getting so long."

"Yes. It's nearly winter." He knows Harvey left various gaps in her education, whether out of neglect or to control her, but he thought...surely she understood the seasons? He could have sworn he had discussed the subject with her before, when she was little.

Elena flushes and looks down. "I know it's stupid."

"It's not stupid," Osvald responds. She shouldn't be embarrassed about making an observation, even if he doesn't yet understand why it's significant to her. "I appreciate hearing your thoughts."

He's told her that a few times. The first time she seemed so doubtful, but repetition seems to have helped reassure her that he means it honestly, because she only takes a few seconds to gather her words together. "It's...only winter, right Papa? It's not going to be the long night again?"

The long night. When there was no day at all, and unnatural monsters were roaming the land. When the whole world was on the brink of destruction. The nights lengthened before that, too. Of course she's concerned. Now that she's pointed out the possibility, he feels he's been obliviously complacent to not even think of it, and he thinks for a few seconds before responding. "Before that happened, the nights were growing long out of step with the season. If my recollection is accurate, night fell around this time previous years too," he says, pointing to the gentle dusk outside, where a little light still lingers, "so everything should be fine. But I'll consult my friends to make sure."

"Really?"

"Yes. That unnatural night came about because of a ritual which doused the Sacred Flames. My friends will know if three of them still burn. I may need to check the fourth myself."

He discusses the matter with Lady Clarissa that night, asking her patience as he once again leaves Elena to her care, even if he expects to be back in about a week. The next day Osvald sends word to Temenos, Hikari, and Ochette before setting out north to Crackridge. He's surprised by just how lonely he feels by the second day, despite having always preferred a degree of solitude at home. He became too used to having seven companions on the road, and now that Elena remembers him he doesn't want to miss any time with her. But he also wants her future safe and secure. He wants her to know she's safe and secure. And that makes a little time away from her worth it, if it means he can tell her with the utmost certainty that the nights are only growing darker for a little while, that there will always be a dawn for her.

In the vicinity of Oresrush, he decides to stop in town and see if Partitio is there. His company wouldn't be unwelcome, and the trip to the ruins would be safer with at least one other. But the only Yellowil home is Papp. Disappointing, but not surprising, given Partitio is now president of a large company. Osvald accepts Papp's offer--almost an insistence really--of a free supper, expecting to eat and be on his way. But Partitio certainly inherited his conversational knack from his father as Papp coaxes Osvald's reason for traveling out of him. Osvald doesn't doubt that he should check on the flame for Elena's peace of mind, but there is a moment, as he's saying it aloud, he thinks Papp will find it foolish.

Instead, the older father smiles at him. "Partitio said you'd shake down the heavens for your girl," he says, his tone warm and approving. "Well, Partitio's out o' town for a few more weeks, but I could stretch my legs."

"I'm not sure that's wise," Osvald says, after he's parsed that Papp is planning to accompany him. Papp has a broad build and a way of moving that says he knows how to brawl. He also has a history of illness and a son who would be quite upset if he were to get hurt.

Papp isn't the slightest bit deterred. Unsurprising, considering he's Partitio's father. "Look, I get you're doing this for your daughter, and I think that's right admirable of you. But people in town have been really down about the seasons changing. Didn't make a lick o' sense to me before. Our winters are real mild. But maybe your daughter's not the only one worried the night'll get too long. So I wouldn't mind helping you check."

When he puts it that way, Osvald finds it a little harder to refuse the man. It is dangerous, yes, but he's doing it for his own reasons as well--

"Plus, Partitio left behind some real interesting gadgets. I've been meaning to give them a try sometime."

--and this is clearly Partitio's fault anyway for leaving Arkar's inventions around as temptations for his father. Osvald resolves to make sure Papp knows how to use them properly as soon as they have an open space for demonstrations.

While Papp needs breaks sooner than Osvald, his endurance is still good, and talking to the man makes it clear to see how Partitio became the man he is, and what sort of man he might be as he gets older. The additional company over the next days is more welcome than Osvald expected, a buffer against the slight worry as the days are getting ever shorter, the darkness creeping over the land earlier.

It's just the seasons. They find the flame by Crackridge burning strong, and after returning to Oresrush, Osvald parts ways with Papp with a promise to forward what news he receives of the other flames and not rat the elder Yellowil out to his son (though he would not be surprised if Partitio figures out how adventurous his father still is anyway).

He returns to Conning Creek to letters from his other friends. Temenos reports that the cathedral's Sacred Flame is unchanging, that he has not found evidence of any new plots within the church, even if that does not rule them out, and the Darkblood Staff recovered upon Arcanette's death is still hidden away. Hikari reports similarly that the Sacred Flame near Ku still burns, the Darkblood Blade is secure in the castle, and the kingdom is still peaceful. Ochette reports "all good Pops!" and seems to have drawn the hiding place for the Darkblood Bow before she realized that may not be wise to put in a letter and scribbled it out; the only remaining legible part is of an ocean, which would not have particularly helped any malicious parties even if the letter had been intercepted, as water completely surrounds Toto'haha. That last letter he freely shares with Elena so she can enjoy Ochette's other enthusiastic drawings while reading her the most relevant bits from Temenos' and Hikari's letters.

Elena is smiling, and perhaps it's because of Ochette's attempt to draw him from memory (he does not look like that), but all that matters is that she's smiling. "Thank you, Papa," she says. "You didn't have to go through all that trouble."

"Any amount of trouble is worth it, to make sure you're safe," he says. "You are the reason I helped bring back the dawn."

She blinks quickly and then darts forward, burying her face in his coat as she hugs him. He wraps one arm around her, using the other hand to pat her head. And when that night falls, she only glances briefly at the window. Then she goes about settling in for her evening reading, and once she is tired, sleeps soundly through the night.

[about-faces]

How is Task Force Z? It looks promising but I always get nervous about Harvey in comics

I’m finding it shockingly enjoyable! I haven’t always enjoyed the author’s work (I found Joker: A Puzzlebox to be very meh, at least from a Harvey-fan perspective), but I’m so surprised to be enjoying TFZ.

It’s got a lot more humor than I would have expected, and I am really loving the Harvey/Jason dynamic. At the same time, I live in terror that it’s all gonna blow up for them, that Harvey is going to be SURPRISE EVIL ALL ALONG, or that they will clash by the end.

That said, I’ve seen mixed responses from Jason/BatFam fans, so if you care about those characters, your mileage may vary. Like, the only BatFam character I actually love is Tim, and he gets horribly disrespected in this, but I accept it because Jason’s an asshole and it served the plot.

It’s very worth checking out for Harvey fans, especially since the final issue comes out in September alongside THREE other Harvey-centric stories which seem to hint towards his redemption sticking. I’m really hoping this is the case, and Harvey gets to stay on good-ish terms with Jason, if not finally be accepted as a member of the BatFam.

I really hope lots of people are seeing in TFZ what I’ve always wanted, which is that Harvey has great Wacky Uncle energy.

[throne-anguis]

I cried a bit thinking of the cold reality of Persona au and so now I'm shifting gears and imagining Hikari and his whole process of living for himself and not just for his friends. Living for friends is great but it fucking sucks when you go and put yourself lower than them.

He's basically almost become a Happiness Pump which is a criticism in Utilitarianism where someone is obsessed with maximizing the overall good at the cost of his own expense. He pretty much focused on making his friends happy and minimizing his own problems that he accidentally became miserable by the time he went into college.

His whole thing is that he isn't responsible for everyone's happiness. Yeah there's the fact that he shouldn't fuck over people and he should try to at least make things enjoyable but at the same time he isn't responsible for whether or not someone is happy. He shouldn't have to go and take on everyone's problems.

He can only do so much and he slowly learns that. He can't really find solutions for everything and maybe the best course of action is sometimes just offering someone a chance to talk and being unconditionally kind to people. Because usually people become better and get happier when receiving unconditional love and support. Some of them won't but that's no fault of his own.

He's basically on a trip to figure out how to help people without tearing out pieces of himself and figuring out who he wants to be once this is all over. Maybe he goes back to finishing college. Maybe he goes and stays at New Delsta and continues working at Gil's place. Who knows, the point is that he now has a better lease on life by the time it's all over and is better. He still has ways to go but he feels happier.

That got really philosophical about ethics, sorry for that I've been watching the Good Place and accidentally had the thought of Hikari just dropping off a whole box of Caffeinated Tea because he noticed Kazan was still trying to figure out if the Coffee is normal or if Harvey fucked it up permanently.

Really it's the small things that count because Hikari knows he's not going to be able to help with just the. Everything that's probably been happening with his friends for their entire lives. Might as well help them now and show them that he won't fuck them over.

MAJOR THEMES DEVELOPING WITH HIKARI. This is definitely important in his character here, he is putting himself on the line this entire time and right as you said "Living for friends is great but it fucking sucks when you go and put yourself lower than them." This makes me think he'd have that 'my friends happiness is my happiness' mentality while he's suffering, and he makes himself suffer even more stressing out about them.

Him slowly learning he has to accept that he can't figure out everyone's problems for them. He tries sometimes. I feel like Throne would be one to try and snap him out of this after he tries to ask about her past with the Blacksnakes and gets a little too questioning. As they opened up to each other he began to care for her as a friend. He wants to know more to help her, she might snap and tell him to mind his own business, and despite having (good??) intentions that would definitely hurt him.

Hikari working out his own life after this is all over, or at least making plans would be nice to keep his mind at rest with all the chaos going on.

Kazan is never going to drink coffee the same way, Hikari dropping off tea for him as a bro. Also ironically I've also been watching the Good Place. And never apologize for getting philosophical Kiwi these are important thoughts!!

[clionasfilms]

review: the dark knight

I have never been a fan of Christopher Nolan. Controversial, I know- but something about his directorial style (or lack thereof) doesn’t seem to click with me. Before this recent viewing, I had not seen The Dark Knight since I was fourteen years old. Although my first viewing was at a very formative age, this film still failed to strike me in the way that it seems to strike millions of others. At eighteen, now I feel I can more coherently understand my discord with The Dark Knight and even Nolan’s broader catalogue of work. 

One of my main points of contention with this film was its writing. Nolan clearly seeks to pay homage to the quippy lines and dialogue of comic book heroes, but personally I felt that this did not translate well onscreen. Some of the dialogue felt far too on the nose, assuming the audience cannot fathom the concepts of subtext and implications. However, I will admit that the plot was excellently paced and handled what could have been confusing and convoluted concepts with ease. The ethical and moral questions brought up in the film were mostly explored with nuance and felt genuine. 

Unfortunately, the most uninteresting part of The Dark Knight was its titular character. Nolan’s Bruce Wayne is nothing more than a hollow caricature of the classic hero, afforded no nuance or depth throughout. I accept that Batman is often simply intended as an audience surrogate, but at points we are shown glimmers of something deeper in Bruce Wayne’s characterisation, only to never return to them. This constant oscillation was often frustrating for me as I found it difficult to empathise with Bruce Wayne opposite the far more charming and interesting villains. 

To put it simply, I hate the way Nolan’s films look. The camerawork is fine, in fact it is often great, but the bland colour grading and industrial settings are a chore to stare at for close to three hours. In The Dark Knight, he is reaching for a brutalist postmodern aesthetic, but this was just visually uninteresting for me. Although I saw this film in an immersive 4D cinema, I never once felt immersed in Nolan’s Gotham City as a location. It felt like Batman and the Joker were chasing each other down the streets of a nondescript American industrial city. Concrete does not necessarily make your film gritty. It puts your film in danger of being visually boring. 

Despite my many complaints, I do not think that The Dark Knight is a bad film by any means- I believe it is the quintessential superhero blockbuster. No film becomes such a powerful cultural juggernaut without having something to it. Throughout the viewing I felt myself waiting for the next time that Heath Ledger’s Joker would skulk into frame. Both Harvey Dent and the Joker are a joy to watch- thanks to fantastic writing, casting and performances from all parties. 

When I put my personal qualms aside, I can completely understand why people love The Dark Knight. It’s an agreeable film and an enjoyable watch, but it is simply not to my personal taste. I think the words to sum up my feelings would be wasted potential.

All I can hope for is that one day, Nolan will make a film with no concrete.  

17-09-23

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Oasis - (What's The Story) Morning Glory

This is one of the most infuriating albums of all time. It has some of the catchiest and most enjoyable songs of the britpop scene, or it would if the mastering wasn't compressed and brickwalled until the whole album is an unlistenable mess. I'm amazed by how bad Some Might Say sounds, there is this echo effect that is so far in the back of the mix that it sounds like an audio glitch and the song is so fucking loud and every instrument is just flat and indistinguishable. You might as well just listen to static. Where nothing on their debut is catchy enough to be hurt by the production and the heavier style even benefits from it sometimes, this album is only hurt by the garbage mastering to the point where I don't consider this to be a listenable album at all. This is a theoretically great album that is ruined by idiots. Oasis were idiots in the studio and Owen Morris was an idiot at the mixing board.

The Replacements - Let It Be

Despite the cheeky title Let It Be is actually one of the most sincere albums of all time. It captures the feeling of teenage alienation better than any other. The jangly guitars strike a perfect balance between alternative and post punk and the vocals sound like Paul Westerberg is about to burst into tears. Songs like Unsatisfied that could easily be comically maudlin are rendered soul shatteringly sincere. Simple lyrics like "how do you say 'i love you' to an answering machine?" are transformed into complex emotional statements.

Jay-Z - The Black Album

This was Jay-Z's victory lap album. He had announced his intention to retire from music (he obviously didn't do that) so this album coming after the unparalleled masterpiece that is The Blueprint really just come as showing off. He's one of the best rappers ever and he knows it. With a different producer on each track and nonstop self aggrandizing he is indulging in all of a rapper's worst tendencies and pulling it off flawlessly which is almost annoying. And I think that's the point, you are supposed to listen to this album and be kinda mad that he can pull off being so smug with so much style.

Aretha Franklin - Amazing Grace

Listening to gospel is a lot like watching The Exorcist for me. I can appreciate the craft but I cannot feel the emotion it wants me to because being a Christian who believes wholeheartedly in Christ is so fundamental to the work. I do appreciate the energy between Franklin and the audience, her lengthy melismatic interpretations are met with rabid enthusiasm from the crowd who can constantly be heard cheering and shouting along. The energy is infectious even if constantly being told that I have to accept Jesus puts me a little on edge. The first two tracks in particular delight me for how much she sings the old spiritual Mary Don't You Weep with all the flair of a modern soul artists and then turns around and covers Carole King's song You've Got A friend as if it was an old spiritual. She retains a lot of this kind of energy throughout and it's a little infectious even as the album hit the hour and a half mark.

PJ Harvey - Rid Of Me

Rid Of Me sees PJ Harvey at her most extreme. She is intense but also constantly swerving. Time signatures will get weird and then calm back into common time, segments will get chaotic only to then immediately go into a lull. You never really feel secure. The title track is emblematic of that insecurity going back and forth between 'please don't leave me', 'im gonna fuck then kill you', and 'why are you leaving me?' vibes at breakneck pace. Harvey blurs the line between sexual aggression and just aggression really artfully and the production by legendary engineer Steve Albini really makes the wild dynamics changes and rough quality really stand out. Almost certainly PJ Harvey's best album and I don't say that lightly.

[marmiteprinter]

Quentin got back from a rather nervous and apprehensive day at work feeling relieved. No one had said anything about his sudden transformation and, although he had received a few strange glances, everyone seemed mostly accepting of his new condition.

That evening was time for the twins' 13th birthday party so he spent some time setting up the garden with fun things for them to do, like an It's Myshuno game and a remote control car. He also set up a buffet table and moved the dining table and chairs outside so no one would have to spend the warm Spring evening indoors.

Everyone was very impressed with the set up. The only other adult invited was Nerissa, who was happy that her ex-husband had gone to such lengths for her boys' party and was determined to have an enjoyable evening with the twins.

Lucas spent some time playing with the RC car and discovered that his one true hobby was Tinkering! I think we'll keep that thing around.

Nerissa reconnected with Harvey and Lucas, who was overjoyed to see her again after so long and happily danced the night away with her.

Meanwhile, Quentin spent some time getting to know Kieran a little better. He was hoping that Kieran would come and live with him in the summer so he made sure to talk to him and play with him until they were best friends.

After helping themselves to turkey and gelatin, the whole group had fun playing It's Myshuno with Baseem at the helm.

"All the threes, thirty-three!" he shouted.

Birthday boy Harvey leapt up excitedly! "I've got it! Do I win?"

Everyone agreed that he did win and, as a reward, he could blow his candles out first.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Weeping Statue | Feeding Habits Update #6 & let’s chat about quitting writing

Hello! Are we back for another Feeding Habits update (finally)?? Let’s chat chapter 7, Weeping Statue.

Just a reminder: This is my original work and plagiarism of any form will not be tolerated.

Can we talk about struggle? Because this chapter was IT. I believe I started it in late July and finished it earlier this month. I’ve taken my time with chapters before, but this was next level--the amounts of changes I went through in one chapter was astronomical, and reminded me of drafting chapter three earlier in the summer. I went through so many stages writing this chapter: from enjoying it, to feeling no joy from writing at all, to nearly quitting this book altogether!

Scene A:

Harrison and his mother Suzanna simultaneously avoid each other over breakfast after he failed to return home the night previous

She lowkey calls him out (calling out his denial of missing Lonan)

Scene B:

Harrison goes to a farmhouse owned by Theodore Harvey, a friend of his mother’s, to drop off the rescued litter of kittens from chapter 6. He realizes he is missing one kitten and concludes Reeve has stolen one after dinner the night previous.

Scene C:

Harvey invites Harrison inside for coffee where he admits his coffee machine is broken.

Harrison fixes the coffee machine, and is hired by Harvey to flip the rest of the farmhouse as he and his wife are moving.

Scene D:

On his way home, Harrison stops at a gas station where he buys a bouquet of tulips for his mother, a dog collar for the puppy he found in the kitten litter, a pack of gum, pastries, and sunscreen before heading to a beach.

At the onset of a lightning storm, Harrison swims in the ocean and has an epiphany--he decides to accept his miserable life (a development!)

Scene E:

After the beach ordeal, Harrison returns to his apartment ready to accept the plainness of his daily life when an old ghost from his past (his! ex!) Lonan appears to be having dinner with Suzanna

This chapter brought so many things. A) many... breakdowns lol (I cried a lot!), B) many false epiphanies that wound me back into ruts, C) a desire to quit this series that was just as terrifying as it sounds and D) an ideology I never would’ve gotten on my own. Just have to thank my sister Sarah for telling me a few weeks ago after I insisted that I knew what needed to logically happen but couldn’t write it no matter how hard I tried. She said: “It’s not about what works, it’s about what you want” << literally changed my philosophy on writing, even as someone who tries their best to advocate for care and enjoyment in writing. Not sure if it’s because of the timing when she said this, but I’d probably never had made it out of the rut without having this said to me.

I was *not* planning at all to have my boys reunite so soon in the book. Technically, it is not very soon and we are almost done the book, but for some reason, I really didn’t think it would work so early because I felt Harrison’s POV was so undeveloped already (I still think it is). HOWEVER, the fact of the matter is: it was not working at all. I knew exactly what I needed to do to get to point A to Z but the thing about writing is, it is not formulaic! I tried to make fit what I thought worked, but as time progressed and I immensely struggled, less and less did I want what worked. Writing was miserable and that’s not what I want writing to be for me. So I took Sarah’s advice, and I did what would make me happy, and that was, and has always been, seeing my boys interact.

Now that I’ve finished this chapter, I’m not sure if I made the right decision! I have yet to write the boys interacting so I don’t know if it will work, but what I liked about this method is that it freed me from this constriction I’d written myself into and opened a new avenue to do something that DOESN’T “work” for the story but that does work for me. To me, this project, this series, is more important to me than making something “work”. Sustaining my health and happiness (which were declining on the path I was on) is critical for me and my writing journey.

EDIT: by the time I’m editing this post, I have written the boys interacting and haha yep this was the right decision! Was doubting myself for a sec, added in a lil robbery, and now it’s all good (oops)

Excerpts:

I don’t have too many for you because this chapter does need an edit to “set” it in place (right now it feels like liquid Jello that has been in the fridge but is yet to set up). I know it needs one more scene but I cannot :) write :) what :) it :) needs :) no matter how hard I have tried, and so I am giving that section of the story a break instead of over-kneading it and toughening up the dough unnecessarily.

Here is part of the opening scene! There are things I don’t like about this but I am trying not to self-hate, so !!!

The next morning, Harrison gets up at dawn to drop the kittens off at the farm, and Suzanna makes coffee for one. This is unusual for both—Harrison rarely leaves the apartment, and Suzanna always makes coffee for two. In his room, Harrison combs his hair and twists his earring, its blue gem pearling in dribbles of sunlight. In the kitchen, Suzanna stirs coffee like it’s wronged her. Harrison dabs cologne onto his throat and blinks off his hangover. Suzanna flecks her spoon onto the tabletop so it leaves an egg of amber on the surface.

When he approaches the kitchen, Harrison pretends he does not see his mother and his mother pretends she does not see him. They move like this, repelled, one moving left, the other moving right, one opening the top cupboard, the other opening the bottom.

Harrison stops at a convenience store and buys a hodge-podge of things (also the beach scene which yes mirrors the last scene in Lonan’s POV hehe I indulge myself):

He picks up the best bouquet of fuchsia tulips, a collar for the dog he left in his bedroom even though it’ll be weeks until she’s big enough to fit in it, a pack of spearmint gum he doesn’t need, a package of pastries, and a tube of sunscreen—SPF 30. He almost drops every item at least once on his way up to the register, and definitely drops them when his receipt is spitting from the machine and the store clerk says she likes his earring—is it vintage—and he nearly vomits in the parking lot, trained against the hood of the taxi—is it even his taxi—the plastic bag teetering from his wrist, rain coiling against his cheek, the air so humid, his clothes so heavy, it is no wonder the next place he ends up is the beach.

It is never smart to swim during a storm. If he thinks hard enough, his mother’s voice warns him to keep from the shore, stand behind the yellow line, stay safe, stay where you are, don’t run under a tree, and even more, don’t run into the water. He does everything wrong in an even worse order—dollops sunscreen into his palm before opening the pastry so his teeth freckles with zinc, chews the gum and the pastry at the same time so his tongue becomes a slime of crumbs, rests the tulips too close to the shoreline so they wilt under a wave, misplaces the dog collar in his own left hand, and dives into the water fully-clothed.

Harrison getting very angsty about Lonan’s future (which he’s predicted completely wrong haha):

He will die alone. Reeve will not think of him again and he will deserve that. Somewhere in the city with the missing kitten, drinking bottles of holy water because there is no drink more fitting for a woman so sacred. His mother will miss him only briefly, and then return to her daily life of no longer needing to clean up after him. Maybe she’ll find the tulips. Put them on display until they wither, then use their carcasses as fertilizer. Save electricity. Use the coffee machine less. Downsize to a smaller, cheaper, prettier apartment with arched walkways and stained-glass windows. Harvey will think he is a fluke who missed his first day of work and will never think of him again. The dog isn’t old enough to recognize him. Suzanna will give her the collar. And Lonan will continue his life in Las Vegas, tottering after Eliza, refilling her wine, getting neon at house parties, watching French silent films without captions because he’s probably learned another language, cut his hair, gotten a tattoo, learned how to cross-stitch, bought life insurance, a yacht, a coastal summer home, learned how to play the mandolin, perfected his lamb sous vide. He’s probably married. Him and Eliza family-planning. He’ll expand a future, and Harrison will do the opposite. There is something freeing in being unmissed.

Lightning snaps across the sky like a wishbone, sounds like the prick of tambourines from under the water. Everything turns violet—the clouds, his skin, the waves. Tomorrow will be a better day, as he sinks lower into the current, tomorrow will be a better day, as the light fades and dissolves into blackness, tomorrow will be a better day, as seaweed wraps his throat, as the freezing water impales his ribs, as he burrows under and simultaneously, rises up.

This next part comes right after!

In the stomach of a tidal wave, the sky is so much bluer. An unrolling of cyan like fractals of a baked marble. There is so little to remember. No grocery lists, no fresh turmeric, no shift of portabella mushrooms. No outstanding to-dos—no kibble to by, no resume to update. Harrison folds in blue and lets it gorge his eardrums. He gives his body to that wide chasm of water and breaststrokes not into a second life, but a third.

Here is the last bit:

He buzzes back into the apartment at 3:00AM, tracking in saltwater and SPF, puff-pastry gummed to his palm, a dog collar wound around his ring finger, a sheath of tulips shedding into the elevator behind him.

He hits every floor button twice and is undisturbed when the elevator lurches and reopens in sixty-second intervals. A man rotating a jade cuff on his wrist gets on at the fourth stop and gets off at the sixth. A woman wearing a lynx cape gets on at the eighth stop, breaks up with two girlfriends, and gets off at the eleventh. Two children in coveralls tail in after she leaves and throw jacks at each other’s eyes until one of them bleeds, and by then, they are on the fifteenth floor and the children are leaving like they have not left behind accidental shell casings. On the sixteenth floor, a deer head chihuahua patters in with no owner and barks at the door chime the moment it releases and lets him out. A mother and daughter shell pistachios on the twentieth, a maintenance man introduces himself as David though his nametag says Maxwell on the twenty-second, a flock of teenage girls in whirl about a new way to blend oil pastel on the twenty-third. So it is no wonder by the twenty-fifth floor, Harrison misses his stop and becomes one of these people too—the man with zinc down his eyes like a weeping statue, juggling pastry and a dog collar and a seedy bouquet of tulips.

He tracks seawater in that hallway, parts of him scattering with the zinc, the petals, the crumbs. Like a way to get back home even though he hasn’t started at his destination, he moves through the labyrinth of halls, both starving and nauseated. Tomorrow he will rise at dawn and taxi to Brooklyn and hammer four nails into two pieces of plywood and repeat. He will feed his dog. Learn how to cook something that will impress his mother, something French that he can’t pronounce like brasillé or oeufs cocotte. Find liberation in the constrict of routine or at least pretend to. It will be good for him, the rising, the taxis, the hammers, the nails, the dog food, the cooking—it will all be good.

By the time he gets to their door, his fingers are oiled and dripping with sunscreen. Rising, taxis, hammers, nails, dog food, cooking. He nearly drops the house keys. Rising, taxis, hammers, nails, dog food, cooking. Tomorrow will be his arrival. Rising, taxis, hammers, nails, dog food, cooking. His beginning swelling as he turns the lock. Rising, taxis, hammers, nails, dog food, cooking. There is no other way out.

The apartment is dark when he tracks in. The scent of cinnamon steeping the air like Suzanna’s pulled a saucepan of papas off the stove. At first he doesn’t hear it, but he should, the voices leafing the kitchen like a flit of moths. He steps out of his shoes but never sets anything down, even after he passes the coffee table. Two plates ringing the centre, streaked with and caldeirada and bayleaf. A pitcher of lemonade sweating onto the glass. It is almost like he never left, like he and his mother shared dinner, sipped from each other’s cups, cleaned the tines of each other’s fishbones. And he almost believes it. He never went to the farm. The kittens are where he left them, just a few feet away, not in Brooklyn. He doesn’t have a job to tend to. He never fixed the coffee machine. He didn’t go to the convenience store. He is not slathered in sunscreen, not holding a dog collar or pastries or a bouquet of tulips. He never dove into the ocean like it was some port to asylum and didn’t emerge soaked and walking half-dead to his apartment because he never left. This reality is so easy to believe, he is unfazed by the voices and how they get louder when he reaches the kitchen, when one says “Were you shopping for the apocalypse?” and the other one chokes on its drink and apologizes for its rudeness and stares at him in daydream, those eyes like forget-me-nots, gas fires, seafoam, the wing of a starling, his drop earring.

Harrison is grateful he is soaking wet when he enters that kitchen and Suzanna and Lonan sit at the table sharing a box of petit fours. At least he has an excuse when he drops everything.

That’s it for this update! The tea starts HERE!

--Rachel

[incorrectbandofbrothersquotes]

For the DVD commentary <3

She froze, and Ron watched something flash behind her eyes. A storm was brewing inside her, a hellish anger at the implication there. He didn’t agree with what Harvey was saying either, but that was just the sort of comment that set Juliet off.

“Your entire argument is childless women being unhinged simply because they are childless,” she said, and there was a strain on her voice to keep it level. “There are plenty of women who cannot have children who do not go around murdering other people’s, myself included. Your head is up your ass if you think this will be an acceptable defense in a court of law!”

It took Ron a moment to fully absorb what she had just admitted. He wondered for a fleeting second if Juliet was bluffing, but she was too ethical. In situations like this, she wouldn’t lie - not about something so serious. He also wondered if it was something he could ask her about, but that was a conversation for later.

“Any doctor would diagnose her as unstable,” Harvey said, face darkening. “And I don’t appreciate your tone, Miss Fletcher.”

“I don’t appreciate your ignorance, Mr. Cooper,” she shot back. “She wasn’t diagnosed as anything except woman, and that was by you, not a doctor.”

“Hold on -”

“So if I - I dunno - leapt over this desk and strangled you,” she cut across him, and Ron held back a laugh. “You would reasonably expect another attorney to argue that it’s the responsibility of the London Pursuit because they should have known, say, that my ex-fiancée was an attorney therefore I’m more likely to kill one? Because scorned women are known to be more furious?”

“That’s not the same.”

“It’s exactly the same, only in your case, worse,” she snapped. “A child is dead, and you are making a mockery of the fight for justice.”

“I’m doing my job -”

“Your job should entail getting Mrs. Fisher evaluated by a doctor and arguing down her sentence based on her mental capacity,” she returned. “Instead, you are reducing her to a monster because she is unable to give birth.”

“I’m not -”

“Even if it were true - which it isn’t,” she interrupted him again. “It would still be her own fault for putting her hands on a child!”

Harvey slammed his hands down on his desk, which prompted Ron to get to his feet, but Juliet didn’t even flinch. She stared that lawyer down as if they were in the courtroom already and she was the cross examiner. She was so unafraid it was almost difficult to believe that just hours ago a little spider had sent her running across the room.

“Miss Fletcher,” Harvey said levelly, casting a sideways glance at Ron. “You clearly came into this interview with your mind made up about my client and this case. I must ask you to leave.”

She stood up. “You’re right, I did come in here with my mind made up,” she said. “But that’s because I’ve got the facts. Unlike you, Mr. Cooper, I do not rely on drollery to do my job.”

“That’s a bold statement coming from a woman -”

“Do not ever reduce me to my sex, Mr. Cooper,” she snapped. “Yours certainly will not protect you from being intentionally stripped of your dignity.”

With that, she turned on her heel and swept out of the office. Harvey stood up. He went around his desk and started after her.

“Hold on, what does that mean?!” he called.

Ron intercepted him at the doorway, stopping Harvey with a hand to the chest.

“No,” Ron said simply, with a warning look. It went without saying that Ron had about fifty pounds on Harvey, so if he followed them out, there would be consequences. When that was well understood, Ron went after Juliet.

She was already outside by the time he caught up, and she was waiting for him. The wind blew her hair, and he was briefly struck by how attractive she looked. He was already aroused by how she did in the interview. When he wasn’t on the receiving end of her ranting, it really was something. It was something when he was, but ultimately more enjoyable when it was directed at someone else. Because he could just sit back to watch her go and admire her.

ps: I'm so sorry this are way more than 500 words, but i just loved this whole scene so much. Juliet is incredible

Thank you so much for the love for Juliet! I am so glad she's well-liked. And lol it's not a problem that it's more than 500 words, I'm more than happy to break it down :)

SO. This scene has a few layers to it, some that are not immediately obvious. I have a lot of scenes where Juliet establishes her passionate ideas about feminism, and this is clearly one of them. Only this time, we're seeing it from Ron's perspective, instead of hers, directed at him.

But, this one's complicated, because it reveals something about her that contrasts to the ideal of "womanhood" at that time period - she is unable to have children. And, like she does with most things, she handles it with almost nonchalance. It isn't this burden she carries, it's just...a fact about her same as her hair being blonde.

This ultimately is me laying the groundwork for one of the themes of this fic, which is the idea of woman/motherhood and subverting tradition. It's going to come up later in a big way with the Plot Twist™ that I've got coming toward the end of the fic. It also serves to set up the contrast between her and Melanie, with that theme in mind.

Another thing I wanted to do with this scene was remind Ron that Juliet is smart. She's professional and she knows what she's talking about, as goofy as she comes off in other moments (i.e. the aforementioned spider scene). And he gets the message loud and clear. So much so, he's literally turned on by how impressed he is. She's powerful not just with him, but always, and he respects that. He still feels protective, which is why he stops Harvey with one of his psycho-killer looks, but he ultimately knows that Juliet can handle herself.

Notice that this scene is from Ron's perspective, but he does not speak until that moment. Not only is this something that is in character for him in my opinion, but it shows that he is aware of how capable she is. He doesn't do things for her because he feels like he has to, he does them because he wants to. This also adds to a theme from Ron's part of the story - having to do with the role of a man in a woman's life - not an easy task with a woman like Juliet, who has been let down by almost every man in her life except her brother, who is, through no fault of his own, not in her life at the moment. Ron sees that Juliet is independent and strong, but he wants to be the place where she takes a break. The quiet support system to make her even stronger.

lol, I'm getting away from the scene a little bit

But yes, this scene just further establishes the ground work I'm laying down for later on, and Juliet gets to be sassy and hilarious, much to the admiration of Ron.

[themattress]

My Top 15 Favorite Gotham Characters

Plus one Honorable Mention.

Honorable Mention: Silver St. Cloud - She's an honorable mention because of how tragically the show wasted her. Silver was a standout character in 2A's “Rise of the Villains” arc, as we see all the layers peeled back from whimsical, kind-hearted, well-mannered young socialite to cruel, manipulative, cold-blooded agent of an evil religious cult to vulnerable, scared and remorseful girl in way over her head who forges a real emotional connection with Bruce. However, despite all the rich potential for her to develop even further as a character, she was never seen again after the 2A finale. 

15. Tabitha Galavan - While as a character she's the very definition of a second-stringer, Tabitha is an interesting case study in what happens when a single ember of innocence is still left burning within the darkest of souls. Raised in the evil Order of St. Dumas and kept firmly under her older brother's thumb, Tabitha is certainly no angel, being the sort of person who will fatally stab an innocent old woman in the back and feel no remorse. But the desire to care and be cared for is still very strong in her, and we see it manifest many times: with Silver, and with Selina, and with Barbara, and of course with Butch. Unfortunately for Tabitha, she is also a case study in how this doesn't guarantee that such a person will receive a happy ending, as she is unable to avoid karmic justice.

14. Butch Gilzean - I didn't really care about Butch initially, since he didn't seem like anything more than Fish Mooney's affably evil muscle. After he became brainwashed into obeying the Penguin's every command, he gradually became more interesting and sympathetic, and by the time he got romantically involved with Tabitha I had become so accustomed to him and his perversely likable sort of villainy that I couldn't imagine the show without him. But maybe the show would have been better off without him after his death in the Season 3 finale, as the immediate retcon afterward of his real name being Cyrus Gold and his resurrection as Solomon Grundy in Season 4 was just nonsense, especially when he ends up just as dead in the Season 4 finale as he was in the Season 3 finale, so what was even the point? Sometimes, dead is better, and I’m sure Butch would agree.

13. Harvey Bullock - For much of Season 1 it felt like the writers were trying to play Harvey Bullock too seriously, and I think that was a mistake because the character always benefits from being played more broadly, and lord knows that Donal Logue can do that very well. Thankfully, that's exactly how he started to be played more often from Season 2 and onward, with whatever serious arcs he did receive such as in Season 4 benefiting from him being so much more likable as a result. I'd rather watch him on screen than Jim Gordon any day.

12. Leslie Thompkins - While initially kind of bland, Leslie "Lee" Thompkins is a character that grew on me overtime. I felt really sorry for her throughout Seasons 2 and 3 as Jim Gordon proved to be the worst love interest ever, bringing her no end of pain, and then in Seasons 4 and 5 she used that pain and anger to shape herself into a total badass anti-heroine who was still all about helping those in need but now was open to using less than moral means to accomplish this. She's a character who finished the show stronger than she'd ever been, and her and Barbara becoming bros is everything I never knew I needed.

11. Sofia Falcone - Sometimes, a sharp and devious mind is all it takes for someone to be a great villain, and damn did Sofia ever put hers to good use. In the comics, this was a forgettable character who was just an obvious thug in design and demeanor, but Gotham's version is terrifying in how petite and pretty and kind and charitable and all around attractive in every way she is...the perfect way to manipulate others and conceal that on the inside she's beyond just a thug; she's a raging, ruthless, vindictive, amoral sociopath who only cares about herself. And kudos to Crystal Reed, whose performance sold the character perfectly. The only real downside to Sofia is that the writers clearly were forced to write her out earlier than anticipated, and her abrupt exit from the show is nowhere close to being as satisfying as the build-up to her gaining power within the city would lead you to believe.

10. Ra's Al Ghul - As wonderful as Sofia was, there was never any question as to whom Season 4's most formidable villain was: the same villain who is the series' ultimate Big Bad, Ra's Al Ghul. Beyond the phenomenally perfect casting of Alexander Siddig, who is hands down the most comics-accurate portrayal of the character in live-action to date, Ra's benefits from the series positioning him as the final answer to the long-running "who killed Thomas and Martha Wayne?" mystery and totally being able to convince viewers that most of this series' events were according to his plans due to the self-assured, in-control and borderline omnipotent way the Demon's Head carries himself. No-one in Gotham City is left unchanged by his machinations, least of all his chosen "heir" Bruce Wayne. 

9. Hugo Strange - The Big Bad of 2B's "Wrath of the Villains" arc is in the running for the show's most despicable villain. Professor Hugo Strange is a brilliant psychologist and scientist, but he is utterly devoid of a conscience and will do anything to achieve his twisted aspirations, from ruining peoples' lives with his experiments to bringing people back from the dead to personally ordering the death of those he considers to be friends. What makes Strange enjoyable in spite of his depravity is B.D Wong's performance: he looks absolutely perfect as a younger version of Hugo Strange and his voice seems to be channeling Corey Burton's Christopher Lee-inspired take from Batman: Arkham City.  He's a much stronger villain than 2A's Theo Galavan, and tellingly got to return in every following season.

8. Edward Nygma - I really wish I could place Ed higher on this list, since the Riddler is one of my favorite Batman villains and Cory Michael Smith is perfect in the role. But sadly, he's the subject of some really weak writing throughout the show that holds him back from breaching my personal Top 5. Whether it be the constant Nice Guy(TM) hounding of Kristen Kringle, the bizarre Two Face-esque split personality angle, the ungodly stupid Isabella plot device and subsequent clashing with the Penguin because of it, his needless romance with Lee that didn't make sense for either of their characters (which wasn't helped by the fact that it happened at a time where he kept on getting made a fool of in a way that undermined how menacing he was just a season ago), and being used as an obvious red herring in the Haven explosion mystery...he really deserved better material, and it's lucky that Smith makes him so enjoyable to watch since it would otherwise drag him down much further.

7. Jerome Valeska - Cameron Monaghan's performance as Jerome single-handedly forced the Gotham producers' hands when it came to their original plans (or lack thereof) for the Joker in their series, as right off the bat he managed to perfectly capture the same maniacal energy that the likes of Mark Hamill and Heath Ledger did, meaning fans would accept no-one else in the role. While Jerome ends up being more of a test run for the actual Joker - the Beta Joker, so to speak - he still is one of the most frightening and malevolent characters in the show's entire run, spreading chaos for chaos' sake and causing pain to others just because he finds it hilarious, and doing it all in the most theatrical way possible.  

6. Jeremiah Valeska - Yes, I agree that this character's whole basis - Jerome's secret twin brother who actually becomes the Joker - and how he was introduced is unbelievably stupid writing; in hindsight it would have made more sense to just find a way to transition Jerome into this kind of characterization as part of a continued evolution toward becoming the Joker. But we're stuck with Jeremiah, and as it stands he is a much worthier Joker than Jerome was. I don't really like the Joker whenever he's written to have no motivation beyond "random crime and chaos because LOL crazy!!!" - the best Jokers always have a reason for doing what they do, it's just that it's always a twisted reason that holds no basis in reality and just serves as an excuse for the Joker to spread pain and chaos across Gotham City and match wits with Batman. (Ex: Heath Ledger's Joker may say he has no plans and just "does things" as a manipulation tactic, but in reality he does make plans and does have the tangible objective of proving his nihilistic, anarchistic worldview to everyone; Batman in particular.)

Jeremiah's penchant for intricate planning combined with the psychotic objectives that lie behind his plans is what makes him more believable as the Joker compared to Jerome, and it really felt like the show's stakes rose to an entirely new, darker than ever before level when he stepped up to the plate at the end of Season 4. I also love his development: being in denial about his own insanity and likeness to his brother until his personal obsession with Bruce overpowers that and causes him to willingly give into the madness so that he can be a worthy enough foil for Bruce as Gotham's Dark Knight, since that gives his miserable life a sense of purpose. Add to this Cameron Monaghan still pulling off that Joker energy flawlessly and you have a Joker that can stand beside Nicholson, Ledger and Phoenix's portrayals.

5. Barbara Kean - This one really took me by surprise. I knew going into the show that Barbara was considered a poorly written, irritating obstructive love interest to Gordon in Season 1, but that she got Rescued From the Scrappy Heap in the following seasons. What I didn't know was the way that rescuing happened - she goes crazy and becomes a surprise villain in the Season 1 finale, and from then on out she is freaking nuts in the most hilariously over-the-top way, with Erin Richards chewing the scenery for all it's worth. Barbara is so entertaining throughout the various guises and positions she goes through across the series, not to mention a complete badass who you just can't help but respect for being true to herself even if she's an awful human being. Her redemption arc in Season 5 was a beautiful way to bring her journey full-circle, and I don't begrudge her the happy ending she got at all.

4. Alfred Pennyworth - We're all used to Alfred the butler, but Gotham got me accustomed to Alfred the soldier. Sean Pertwee is thoroughly convincing in the role of the hard-assed, frequently grumpy or moody yet caring, loyal and dependable Alfred, whose relationship with young Bruce Wayne is perfectly depicted. The only time I didn't care for him was during 2A, where he was cruel and unfair toward Selina because she killed his treacherous war-time buddy who almost murdered him and was planning on doing harm to Bruce. Thankfully, from the midseason finale and onward he managed to redeem himself, regaining his status as one of the show's best-depicted characters and maintaining it all the way to the end.

3. Bruce Wayne - This character was always going to live or die based on what child actor was playing him, and by God did David Mazouz nail it in his performance. Even putting the dead parents and destiny as Batman aside, Bruce Wayne is clearly not a "normal" kid, being raised in the lap of luxury and privileged to the point of extreme naïveté, with an overly formal way of speaking hammering in his distance from the rest of Gotham City. Watching him grow stronger and smarter and more worldly and responsible as the series progressed was always a pleasure, and he naturally made a far more compelling protagonist than Jim Gordon did, with the show ending on the shot that it does making it even more clear that this was primarily his story all along; just one elongated origin story for the goddamn Batman.

2. Selina Kyle - For quite a while in Season 1, the teenage girl who would be Catwoman spent a lot of time just slinking around the fringes of the story and accomplishing little of value. But once she finally met Bruce, Selina's character really took off, and she ended up becoming my second all-time favorite character in the show. Aside from the strong writing and character development, much is also owed to Camren Bicondova, who is utterly charming in her depiction of the cynical, sharp-tongued, street-smart thief with a heart of gold, and she is even able to make her rushed final transition into Catwoman in Season 5 believable. And kudos to Lili Simmons who plays her in the final episode, she is perfectly convincing as an adult version of Selina, looking and sounding just as I expect Bicondova to in a few years. 

1. Oswald Cobblepot - OK, this is probably an unoriginal choice, but I can't help it - Oswald Cobblepot, aka the Penguin, is the one character on this show who just did no wrong as far as I'm concerned (as a character, I mean, he obviously did a lot wrong morally!) In addition to being the role Robin Lord Taylor was born to play, there is a consistency in the writing of his character and in the quality of his development that I think is unmatched by anyone else in the cast. Aside from that one blip in the Isabella plotline of Season 3 that I credit as more of a blemish on Ed than I do Oswald, he was always a fully three-dimensional character who acted and reacted believably, and he always stayed firmly on the line between being a heinous, ruthless, murderous criminal chiefly seeking power and a tragic, sympathetic, even funny and likable person chiefly seeking love.  And he always remained the "noble villain" when compared to the other villains around him; always the one you could count on to join the heroes and do the right thing when it counted because he's a pragmatist with moral lines he will not cross....and because he loves and believe in Gotham City too, in his own way.

[typinggently]

I rlly love your bátmán and I was wondering if you have any thoughts about feral!bruce/twoface? I twobats is my fav rogue/batman ship because they know eachother outside the masks and theres so much potential for angst

Ok I’m really excited about this because I love these two together. I love Harvey as a character and thinking about him with this Bruce was great fun! I also wrote a little drabble that could be read as Harvey/Bruce for a different ask here. 💝 But for now, let’s look at some

Feral Bruce and Harvey thoughts!!

Harvey being called Apollo by the media, he and Bruce definitely had that inside joke that Bruce is Dionysus. Because, you know, that whole philosophical theory of Apollo (reason, clarity etc) being the opposite of Dionysus (chaos, ecstasy etc)

Follow-up: Bruce doesn’t drink, but I want to say that he and Harvey in the old days spent some rainy afternoons drinking red wine and reciting Ancient Greek poetry for that reason – Bruce being the one to read to Harvey. After all, Bruce’s interest in theatre is well-known, if not necessarily being taken seriously by the press. They definitely dressed up as well, which is to say they wrapped themselves in bedsheets and Bruce draped a large amount of golden jewellery on Harvey (because Apollo, of course, but also because it looks nice on him). They sipped wine, fed each other grapes, got tangled in their sheets, and altogether had very enjoyable, very Greek afternoons

Harvey, having spent so much time with Bruce pre-incident, knows him very well. His moods, his antics – he definitely knows that Bruce is much more intelligent than he lets on and he can read his moods rather well. He is, at the time, probably the one person in Gotham (apart from Alfred) that really knows Bruce Wayne. Which ties into

- a really hot take I’m debating with myself – Harvey knows? He might, I think, considering he and Bruce were so close. I’m not sure how he’d take it, since getting and accepting help is such a difficult thing for Harvey and he might end up focusing his anger on Bruce. But he could’ve seen through the mask.

Bruce can barely fight him. If Harvey knows, he probably tries to provoke him into an actual fight to prove something to himself, but Bruce never gives. He probably defeats him by knocking him out with gas (or the BatKnocker, if all else fails), but he doesn’t get physically close to him.

On the other hand – Harvey also can’t do much to him. He can’t shoot him, anyhow. And if I recall correctly, it’s canon that Harvey hasn’t killed Batman a few times despite his coin telling him to. I’m saying it’s the same here. And on top of that, he also protects Bruce Wayne from harm whenever he can. And he tries to be subtle about it, so most of the less intelligent rogues don’t notice, but Selina and Harley for example definitely know he has a soft spot. If he weren’t so efficient about everything else, that fact would have the potential to really get him into trouble, considering Bruce is such an easy and beloved target.

 finally – let’s say Harvey knows. They definitely get food together some time. Maybe it’s after Batman has caught Two-Face and is ready to deliver him back to Arkham, maybe it’s after Two-Face threw his coin mid-battle and thus decided to switch sides. Either way, it’s two am and Batman and Two-Face are sitting on the rooftop of the Gotham Museum of Rare Golden Figurines, eating their PinguBurgers and sipping their SnowballShakes (Penguin doesn’t control the fast food sector anymore and hasn’t in years, but since this restaurant still has his name, no chain restaurant dares enter the market as not to trigger a repetition of the Grand Fries Disaster of ’03). They don’t talk, just watch the city glitter underneath them, and now and then, Two Face’s fingers will brush Batman’s grease-stained gloves when they both reach for the fries.

 -

This was such fun, honestly…I really do love these two. Thank you so much for this ask :’)

[reddrobins]

the shadow [d.wayne]

Older! Damian Wayne x Reader

Summary: A new vigilante in town is starting to get on Damians nerves. After telling his friend about them, he soon finds out that maybe working with ‘the shadow’ isn’t as bad as he thought.

Request: Aldkwkddkwj i love your writing sfm,, could you please write a damian x reader where he rants to her alter ego about her? Like he's in love with her civilian self and he asks for advice without knowing its them? Idk if that makes sense rip

"They are insufferable, (Y/N). I cannot stand to be around 'the shadow' for longer any longer than 5 minutes. I mean seriously, what name is 'the shadow'?"

You currently sat on the floor of the Batcave as Damian put on his armor, ranting about Gotham's newest vigilante. "I dunno bird brain," You started, calling him the now overused nickname (which he hated by the way),"I kinda like the idea of a girl vigilante. It's empowering."

"Tt.:" Damian gave, slipping on his domino mask, "But, we already have a female vigilante, Batgirl."

Rolling your eyes, you stood up from your spot, "Yes, but, Batgirl doesn't work alone. The Shadow does. I respect her."

Now in full Robin get-up, Damian walked towards the weapons cabinet, grabbing his katana, "Well, I don't. She's an annoyance and a distraction, Gotham would be better without her." The teen vigilante got on his cycle, putting it in gear. "Whatever the verdict, I do have to go on patrol now. Feel free to stick around the manor. I shall be back in two or three hours."

You waved goodbye to Damian, then took out your phone - checking the time.

11:30. Perfect, you thought, just enough time to go home and change.

Taking the elevator back up to the first floor of the manor, you gave a rushed goodbye to Alfred (and of course Titus too!) then sped out the front door.

You made it home just in the nick of time. 12:00, you thought, enough time to patrol and be back before Damian.

Dawning your silver and black costume, you tiptoe through your house's hallway, as to not wake your mother.

You unlatched the front window and jumped out of it, landing on the nearby fire escape. You checked your phone, which also served handily as your data pad.

'Two reports of armed robbery, one home invasion and three homicides' your phone reported.

Deciding that Damian and Bruce had the homicides covered, you went towards Gotham National bank, ready to take down whomever had thought tonight was the perfect night for crime.

As Bruce finished putting cuffs onto the suspect of murder number 3, he turned to Damian, "I have this covered, there’s still an active robbery at the bank - I need you to head over and report back to me who it is. Do not instigate, Robin."

The teen nodded and with his gun, grappled onto the closet building. Luckily, the bank wasn't too far from the location of the homicides and Damian made it to the robbery in no time.

He jumped down from the scaffolding of an apartment complex and raced over to the back of the bank, where he could easily sneak in unnoticed.

That was until he bumped into someone.

Swiftly, Damian rolled back, tripping the mystery person as he did and unsheathed his sword, pointing it at their neck.

"Whoah, Rob - chill out dude." His victim whisper-yelled.

Damian almost groaned, he knew that masked voice all too well.

"Shadow? What the hell are you doing here." He hissed, putting the sharp weapon away.

You dusted off your costume and stood up, narrowing your eyes at Damian. "I could ask you the same thing, bird brain. But if you have to know, there's a robbery in the works. I'm here to end it."

Though on the outside you seemed calm and collected, you were freaking out internally. Crap. you thought, I cannot have him figure out who I am. He'd never let me go out again.

Breaking you from your thoughts, Damian continued, "Tt. Sure you are. That's why I am here. To do a job that's much larger than the means of you." He pushed past you, checking your shoulder, and reached the back entrance.

"It's locked," you hollered. "I already tried that genius."

Damian glared at you, then took out a batarang, swiping it up and down in between the door crack until a click sounded. The boy-wonder turned towards you, smirking, "But you don't have batarangs. Genius."

As he snuck into the bank, you quickly followed after him, closing the door behind you.

Robin looked at you in disbelief, "Why are you still here?"

Angrily, you said, "Excuse you, but this was my case. I was here first and I plan to finish it." You may have loved Damian, but Robin sure was an ass.

This time, you pushed past him and into the main centre of the bank.

"Two-Face." You whispered.

There him and his goons stood, bags filled with money in hand as they pointed their tommyguns at the tellers and unlucky patrons.

"Alright!" The rouge yelled, "On the count of three I'm going to flip this coin, Tails, you all live and heads," He said darkly, "My men shoot you all."

Somewhere in the commotion, a woman cried out, begging for mercy - this didn't sit well with Dent.

"To show you that I mean business, Roy!" He yelled at one thug, who nodded before lifting his gun.

Oh my god, you thought, He's going to kill that woman

You had already seen enough and before the shot rang out, you lunged at the armed man, wrestling him for the gun.

"Shadow!" Robin yelled out, watching you struggle to unarm the thug.

Two-Face had a different plan. This time, he raised his gun, aiming it at you.

However you were too enthralled with trying to save the sobbing woman from Roy, thus Harvey's actions went unnoticed by you.

But not by Robin.

The teen vigilante jumped out of the shadows, throwing a batarang at the chamber of the gun, blocking the shot.

"Gah!" Two-Face yelled out in frustration, "You little brat!" The man spun around, failing his gun about - trying to land a hit on Robin, who easily dodged all of the attempts.

You on the other hand, were fighting a losing battle. You had successfully gotten Roy away from the women and were now on his back, trying to get a grip on his neck.

The man was big, much bigger than you - maybe even stronger. But you were more agile, and were able to block most of his hits.

You however, couldn't stop the goon sneaking up behind you until it was too late.

Red stained the front of your costume and you were thrown to the ground.

All the while Robin had long knocked out Two-Face, now his focus on getting the people to safety, that was until he heard the shot.

"Shadow, No!" He screamed. In his fit of rage, he charged the two goons, easily neutralizing both of them.

"Batman!" Damian said into the coms, "The Shadow has been shot. Everyone else is neutralized and tied up. I need the batmobile."

His father gritted his teeth, "I thought I said not to instigate."

Damian was in disbelief, did he really wish to start this argument now? "I didn't. The shadow did, who by the way, Batman - was shot. I need help urgently."

"On my way." Bruce answered. "Until I'm there, do not let them sleep. How bad is the wound?"

Damian looked over to your bleeding form, "Bad enough." He then added, "But not fatal."

As you were bleeding out, you couldn't help internally scolding yourself. How did I not hear him? You thought, Now I am never going to make it back in time. Even through your haze of pain, all you could think about was making sure Damian, though he stood in front of you, never found out.

Damian came into your peripheral view and he reached out to you, cradling your head in his lap. "Shadow can you hear me?"

You nodded, giving out a pained laugh, "I'm not dead yet D-Robin. Of course I can hear you."

Yet. Damian's body clenched at the notion that you were going to die. "You are not dying. Not on my watch, (Y/N)." He said forcefully.

Your eyes widened, He found out. He's going to kill me before this bullet does.

"Damain I- How'd you know?"

He gave a light chuckle at your surprised face, "Beloved, You're the only one who calls me bird brain. How would I not know it to be you?"

You shrugged, accepting your stupidity of trying to fool the world's best detective's son then winced in pain, "I guess you're right..." Then, "So, then this means the end of vigilantism." You said solemnly.

The boy shook his head, dismissing your thought. "No. You're an excellent fighter (Y/N). Hell, you've bested me a few times prior. Though I'm not fond of 'the Shadow' per say, I am fond of you and I will not stop you from doing what you wish."

Smiling weakly you have Damians hand a comforting squeeze. "From now on though, I'll take your lead, don't feel like getting shot again."

The other teen nodded. "Yes. This experience was far from enjoyable."

[ao3porcelainstorm]

poison ivy & stinging nettles 24

On Ao3

Pairing: Sherlock/OFC

Rated: M

Warnings: eventual violence, torture, swears, adult themes (no explicit smut)

Chapter 23 - Chapter 25

Chapter 24- Wildflower

~~~

pick me a wildflower in the morning and i'll hold it with me always where I'm going and when i feel sorrow or death is in my view i'll wear my wildflower perfume

-Wildflower Perfume (The Dead Tongues)

~~~

“Which English chemist and physicist is credited with the discovery of hydrogen?” Amelia challenged on the walk to the museum.

“Easy, Henry Cavendish,” Sherlock answered. “Which artist is credited with starting the impressionist movement?”

“Is that a joke? Claude Monet,” Amelia shot back. “What’s the rarest naturally occurring element in Earth's crust?”

“Astatine,” he furrowed his brow. “What Greek hero was the Statue of David originally one tended to be?”

“Hercules,” she smirked. “What year was Prozac authorized by the FDA for market distribution?”

“I’ll give you a month and year- December of 1987. Though the Belgians approved it a year prior.”

“Could you two cut it out? You both have very big brains, congratulations,” John cut in. “We’re here.”

“How many years ago was this museum established?” Amelia whispered, pointing to the British Museum” entrance sign.

“267,” Sherlock smirked. “Who was credited with its early founding and contributions?”

“Sir Hans Sloane,” she replied. “What was the name of the 17th Century mansion that originally housed the collection?”

“Montagu House, and will you two quit it?” John nodded up toward the museum director and a pair of administrators who were approaching the trio.

“Good morning,” he greeted, shaking everyone’s hands but Sherlock’s, who kept his arms crossed in front of him. “I do hope you have good news.”

“I’ve determined who stole the painting,” Sherlock stated.

“And pray tell, where is it?”

Sherlock eyed the female administrator next to the director.

“Why don’t you tell us, Mrs. Harvey?” he asked and the woman immediately flushed.

Stammering through a lie, she realized the jig was up and sprinted for the exit.

Fortunately, two guards stopped her before she could get very far.

“The police retrieved the painting in her flat this morning,” Sherlock explained curtly, following the director through the main atrium of the building. “I deduced it was her after she mentioned having to pawn a necklace the last time I was here.”

“It was an easy way to make a quick buck with a not so famous painting,” John agreed.

“She was the only one who had access to it, along with two other interns who weren’t scheduled to be here the night it went missing,” Sherlock continued.

“Ironically, they attended an art show at a gallery I knew the owner of,” Amelia added. “He was more than willing to let us confirm their alibis with the security footage.”

“She would have gotten away with it had she not left behind a scuff mark from her broken high heel,” Sherlock noted. “The measurements matched a woman of her height and weight precisely.”

“Incredible,” the director clapped his hands together. “I knew I made the right call in contacting you.”

He thanked the group again, inviting them to luncheon once the painting was returned to the museum, which John and Amelia both accepted enthusiastically.

“Why do I have to go?” Sherlock whined on the way home.

“Because you look good in a suit,” Amelia grinned.

“Because you saved the picture and deserve a little credit,” John added with an eye roll at Amelia’s comment. “Besides, a newspaper story will add a little more validity to the blog, which will bring in more clients.”

“I agree, I do look very nice in a well-cut suit,” Sherlock mused. “I’ll go. Briefly.”

Amelia smirked at John when he realized how easily she’d convinced Sherlock.

“Can you convince him to get rid of the kidneys in the freezer?” he asked quietly.

“I heard that,” Sherlock responded without a look back.

“They are really gross Sherlock,” Amelia cringed. “They’re long past necrotic. There can’t be anything worthwhile left.”

“I didn’t realize the two of you had such pressing business in the freezer,” he scoffed. “I’ll dispose of them tonight.”

“And not in the garbage disposal,” Amelia warned. “Last time you stunk up the apartment for a month because we couldn’t get the liver fully washed out. Walk it out to a bin or give them back to Molly.”

“You’re too high maintenance.”

“And you have gross hobbies, but healthy relationships are about sacrifice,” she threw a bright smile back at him.

“Amazing,” John awed under his breath. Amelia Brenner was a Sherlock-whisperer.

The pair bickered a little about the best way to get rid of human remains, with John citing various medical codes that Sherlock constantly ignored.

“What happens if someone reports a poorly disposed femur to the Yard?” John challenged when they walked through the front door. “There’s a dignity to these things.”

“I try not to empathize with remains,” Sherlock stated.

“That’s a little sad,” came Amelia’s response. “They were people, at one point.”

“And now they’re dead.”

“But they had loved ones,” she continued, smile faltering. “People who probably mourned their passing.”

“These were unclaimed corpses, no one bothered to come to find them,” Sherlock countered, pulling off his jacket and scarf.

“That’s even sadder,” Amelia’s expression fell some more. “What if they couldn’t claim them because they couldn’t afford a funeral? Or someone’s son was missing because of drug addiction or something and they didn’t even know he was dead- but his body was too mangled to be identified and now the family will never have closure?”

The men both stopped and looked at her, standing in the doorway, close to tears.

Turning to Sherlock, John pointed toward her and frowned.

“And that’s why the kidneys do not go down the garbage disposal, have a little respect, won’t you?”

~~~

The luncheon was enjoyable, even with Sherlock’s general attitude about the whole thing.

“Diamond cufflinks,” he commented when the director handed him a small package. “Mine are held with buttons…”

“He means 'thank you',” John cut in, glaring at Sherlock when he took the package.

Amelia was busy chatting with some of the museum docents, asking about some of the artifacts the massive museum held. She clapped enthusiastically, balancing a champagne flute between her fingers when Sherlock and John posed with the painting.

“How come we haven’t started a scrapbook?” Amelia teased once the boys were free from their press obligations. “I’m betting that was a great picture.”

“The blog is a scrapbook,” John noted and Amelia nodded.

“You’re right,” she hummed, sipping her drink. “We should upload newspaper clippings. The validity of the blog and such…”

“You’re unemployed, sounds like a fun project for you,” John laughed, clapping a hand on her shoulder.

“Collecting newspaper clippings of my, er,” she paused, looking to Sherlock listening to one of the donors gush about his success. “Sherlock.”

“Boyfriend?” John tried, plucking a champagne glass off a passing waiter’s tray.

“Is he?” she asked with a cringe. “Doesn’t act like any I’ve had before.”

“Haven’t you two talked about it?” he asked.

“Not explicitly,” she mumbled, holding the glass up and finishing the rest of her drink in a swallow. “Is that an explicit conversation we should have?”

“Are you exclusive?” he rephrased.

“That…” she frowned, her brows knitting together. “I’m assuming? We both end up in a bed together at the end of the day.”

“You should probably clarify that,” John hummed, grabbing another glass of champagne for his friend. She took it gratefully, downing it in a single sip.

“It sounds so dumb when you say it out loud though,” she grumbled, bringing a hand to her cheek and making a mocking face. “Oh, Sherlock will you be my boyfriend?”

“I thought I was the one who was supposed to ask,” Sherlock commented over her shoulder.

“Why do you always do that?” Amelia set her glass aside, turning to adjust the collar on his shirt. He tried to push her hands away, but after a glare, he let her continue fussing with the unwieldy clothing.

“He’s very sneaky, Mia,” John tipped his glass in her direction.

“It is my job to be discreet,” Sherlock countered, watching Amelia’s expression until she seemed satisfied with the fold in the shirt.

“So, what do you think?” she asked.

“I think I should have worn a tie,” he touched the collar.

“I agree, but I wasn’t talking about that,” she snorted. “Are we… going steady?”

“Going… steady…?” he asked, biting back a laugh, sharing an amused smirk with John. “I didn’t realize you wanted me to ask you to the big homecoming dance.”

“Fine, if we were dating, we’re now broken up,” Amelia smacked his chest, causing him and John to erupt into a fit of giggles.

Giggles.

The two grown-ass men were snickering like a couple of children at an art exhibition for a stolen painting they found.

“Amelia,” Sherlock caught her by the arm, pulling together the most sincere expression she’d seen on the detective. “Will you… go steady with me…?”

His voice broke at the end, another round of chuckles overcoming the pair.

“Nope, you two are being mean at my cultural inconsistencies and I no longer wish to be your friend, goodbye forever,” she turned on her heel and started for the exit.

“Oh thank god,” John muttered, following hurriedly after her. “Throw a bigger scene and get us out of here.”

“Something like this?” she grabbed a random drink off a nearby table and threw it at his chest. A hand over her head, she spun around and moved swiftly to the door. “Goodbye John Watson, you’ve broken my heart for the very last time.”

“I think I’m in love,” Sherlock stared after her, absently handing his friend a fabric napkin.

“She ruined my favorite shirt!” John sputtered, dabbing at the cloth.

“-Still caused a pretty good scene,” Sherlock gestured to the perplexed looks from partygoers around them. “Time to follow through, old chum.”

~~~

“I promise, I’ll get it cleaned,” Amelia repeated for the hundredth time once they’d returned to Baker Street.

“You have absolutely no impulse control,” John grumbled, though he had long forgiven the auburn-haired florist.

“It’s a personal flaw I’ve been trying to work on,” she countered through a sigh.

“You should start with trying not to challenge people to shoot you,” Sherlock mused from the top of the stairs. “Someone is actually going to shoot you one day.”

“Or me,” John muttered, distinctly recalling the exact scene the day her uncle shot him.

“That was not my fault,” she pointed toward him. “You jumped in the way. I was fully prepared to take that bullet.”

“It was aimed at your head, you idiot,” John sighed.

“It’s not my fault neither of you has sufficiently taught me the appropriate life skills required to be your friend,” she reasoned. “You’re a soldier, and you’re… you. I’m just a nerd who is really into plants. What can I do? Throw flower petals at the bad guys?”

“You did throw a potted peony at your uncle,” John reminded her. “That did knock him out.”

“Thanks, John,” she huffed.

Sherlock listened to the conversation, dropping into his chair and considering Amelia’s words, fingers steepled in front of him.

She wasn’t wrong. Compared to him or John, she was a positive pushover. If she got into a fight, she might have an upper and because of her height, but against a skilled fighter? She stood no chance.

Not to mention her tendency to throw insults and punches first, and ask questions later, she was bound to end up in some dire situation without him or John to help her.

And after Sherlock was gone-

“-I’ve shot a gun once,” Amelia was bickering with John.

“How is that possible? You’re American,” he gaped back at her.

“We don’t fire our 44’s at breakfast time,” she blinked back at him. “Did you think we all are given an assigned firearm at birth?”

“We’re going to teach you how to fight,” Sherlock stated, cutting into the conversation. “Properly.”

“But what other excuses will I have to bring you with me to the toilet?” she asked sarcastically.

“If you two shagged, that’d be a good excuse,” John murmured, earning a punch in the arm from his female friend. He scowled at her, holding his arm. “You didn’t even do that right. Don’t tuck the thumb, you’ll break it.”

“You’re too preoccupied with our sex life,” she snapped back.

“You two need to get it out of your system,” he said, pointing between Amelia and Sherlock. “It’s messing with the energy of the flat.”

“You’re a butt,” Amelia grumbled, going in for another (proper) punch and being blocked by the now smug doctor. “You can’t do that. I’m learning.”

“Ha, ha,” John rolled his eyes, pointing to the nearby bookshelves and television. “Not near anything of value, you aren’t.”

“We should go to the recreation center,” Sherlock voiced. “Amelia, change into something more practical.”

“The one you stole a pass to?” John asked when Amelia looked down at her dress sadly.

“I barely got to wear it for an hour,” she mumbled, retreating to her room when Sherlock just stared in response. “You’re impossible. Saturdays are for rest.”

“You started it,” John smirked after her. “Do you need my help?”

“I think I’m going to need as much help as possible,” Sherlock replied after the pair heard Amelia stumble down the final steps to the basement and call up that she was fine.

~~~

tomorrow'll be leaving before nightfall my captain has now heard sirens call and as the ships sail the ocean so blue ill bathe in wildflower perfume still picks two wild flowers every morning and waits in wake of love still returning and calls for post-run every afternoon to send me wildflower perfume

Chapter 25