#hmm we could maybe put up the first scene or two though

[aethersea]

and kencyr beauty and the beast? i remember you talking about this but it's been awhile...

this is one of the many aus @tanoraqui and I have come up with in the kencyrath chat, and honestly it's a banger

The monster was a dark shadow, backlit by some faint glow whose source Kindrie couldn’t guess. Its eyes shone silver from edge to edge, split by slit pupils that were narrowed almost to nothing despite the gloom. Its fangs were too big for its mouth. They distorted its lips into a permanent sneer. 

“Why?” it growled.

Why what? Why should it forgive him? He couldn’t say, because I’m sorry—he wasn’t, despite everything. Better that he should die here than the Highlord.

No good answer to that question; find a better one. Why had he thrown himself into the monster’s path? 

Because he is my natural lord. He couldn’t say that either. He’d never found the nerve to utter the words aloud, and he had no nerve to spare just now.

“Because he’s the Highlord,” Kindrie said. His voice rasped worse than gravel. “I had to protect him.”

The monster hissed at that, like a vicious cat. Kindrie flinched. “Forgive me,” slipped out without thought.

The last of the far echoes died away, leaving them in silence. Kindrie’s labored breaths drew more attention to themselves in that stillness than he would have liked. The monster regarded him balefully, but there was something else emerging from behind that rage. Kindrie tentatively judged it to be curiosity.

He should fan that curiosity, say something intriguing, anything to keep the monster talking. To make himself more interesting alive than dead. But Kindrie’s mind was filled mostly with gibbering panic, and he had no experience at all in being interesting. 

The creature spoke again before he could think of anything. “You will stay.”

The words came out garbled, as if they didn’t quite fit the shape of the monster’s mouth. It took a moment for Kindrie to parse them, and a moment more to understand them. Even then, he could make no sense of them. 

“I will…stay?”

“Swear it,” the monster growled.

Kindrie stared, baffled. The monster roared. “I’ll stay!” Kindrie yelped. “I’ll stay!”

“Honor break me,” the monster snarled, the words gnashing together like boulders.

Something in Kindrie found the space to quail at that. It was one thing to be trapped in the lair of a darkling beast; another thing entirely to never even try to flee. Freedom had tasted so sweet, for the brief time he’d known it. Its pull had borne him through so many horrors.

The monster slammed him against the wall again. His vision swam and flickered.

What point in freedom if he was too dead to enjoy it? “Honor break me,” Kindrie choked out, “darkness take me, I so swear.”

[skzkiof]

kiss me;

ivantill, 8.7k read on ao3

For a second he just stood there dumbly, eyes wide open. He heard a gasp from the side then a whispered, “I thought they weren’t actually supposed to kiss here?” Till hadn’t prepared himself for this, but he knew he couldn’t risk ruining the scene even more. Eyelashes fluttering, he closed his eyes and cupped Ivan’s face, kissing him back with fervor.

Till couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. Surely he had misheard, or maybe he hadn’t actually woken up this morning and he was still dreaming.

His manager looked as real as ever, though, staring at him with a hint of knowing amusement. He couldn’t stand her sometimes. (He loved her.)

“I thought you’d be excited,” she sighed dramatically, crossing her arms. “I guess maybe we should consider pulling out of the movie and – ”

His hand jerked out without his permission, fast as lightning, grabbing her arm. “Don’t even joke about that, Mizi.”

Her answering grin was all teeth. “They’ll want to do a chemistry read, first,” she put her hand over his. “Don’t get too excited. Nothing is guaranteed yet.”

For all they knew, he wouldn’t even get cast. Or if he did, maybe they’d kick Till off the project and replace him if their chemistry wasn’t promising enough. He really hoped it would be. But either way, he would be meeting him.

Till felt himself grinning before he could stop it, “I’m meeting Ivan.”

-

Till couldn’t recall the exact moment he discovered Ivan. To be fair, most people probably couldn’t. He was everywhere, it seemed – commercials, movies, television, even music videos.

What he could recall – as clear as if it’d happened yesterday – was the feeling he had felt. It was like a dam had opened and there was no stopping it. He realized he wanted more out of life.

He didn’t just want to continue being an extra on every set, the side-character who was killed off after one or two episodes.

Since then, he’d been able to build a decent name for himself. He wasn’t Ivan, by any means, but he was well-known enough to get the lead in an upcoming highly anticipated movie. And if the universe smiled upon him, just one last time, he would hopefully get to have Ivan as his love interest.

-

“I am running on exactly two hours of sleep, by the way.”

Mizi snorted, side-eyeing him. “I can tell,” she teased, and he knew it was just that: a joke but he still couldn’t help the sudden rush of insecurity.

As if sensing it by some form of magic, she slowed to a stop in the hallway and took his arm.

“You look great, Till. You haven’t even gotten makeup done yet and you still look amazing.” She squeezed his arm. “You’ve got this, you know that, right?”

He forced a smile. “Don’t you know confidence is my middle name?”

And usually it was true. If there was one thing he had over most of his competition in the industry, it was overflowing confidence.

Mizi smiled back, far more sincere. “Come on,” she said, tugging him along gently. “We don’t want to be late.”

-

Before the chemistry read, he went to get his makeup done as scheduled. Hyuna was no better than Mizi, grinning wildly as she gently applied a bit of concealer under his eyes.

“Let me guess,” she said, “didn’t sleep much?”

Till rolled his eyes, but made sure not to move. “I wonder if every actor has such a nosy makeup artist or is it just me?”

“Hmm, I would say you’re just lucky.” She winked and stepped back. “You look good enough to eat.”

He snorted. If he wasn’t so nervous underneath it all, he might’ve cracked a joke. Like how the only person he wanted to eat him was —

The door swung open, startling him. “Come on – ” he relaxed when he saw it was just Mizi. “We only have a few minutes.”

Quickly stumbling out of the chair, he rushed to her side and followed her into the hallway. As they walked toward the room set aside for their scheduled chemistry read, Mizi looked him up and down, not even trying to be discreet. Till made sure no one was around before quietly flipping her off.

Couldn’t tarnish his reputation and all that.

She giggled, light and airy. “I was just going to say,” she bumped their shoulders together, gentle, “you look good. Don’t let anything bring you down, okay?”

And he knew it wasn’t just empty words; Mizi had been there for him since the start of his career, long before he’d managed to actually make a name for himself. She’d been there with open arms (and an extra large pizza) every time he’d been turned down from a role, every time a casting director had scoffed like he was hilarious for even thinking he had a chance.

It had been hard, then, but motivating. He never wanted to be underestimated ever again. He thought he’d never feel so scared again, walking toward an audition room. It was a pointless fear. He had joked but surely they wouldn’t actually try to kick him out, even if the chemistry read wasn’t a success.

“Break a leg,” Mizi whispered just as they stopped in front of the door.

Till could hear voices through the wood. He concentrated and tried to see if he could pick out Ivan’s voice, in the sea of them, but he wasn’t sure if he could trust himself. He thought he heard him, a familiar drawl he had heard on television a million times, but he could’ve just been imagining it.

Mizi glanced at him, a silent question. He just nodded.

Without another word between them, she turned and opened the door.

-

Till didn’t even realize he’d been holding his breath as his eyes scanned the room: it was all the usual people – the casting director sat at the table with two other staff members on each side, a few other stray staff members were scattered around the room.

In the middle of all of them was Ivan.

He was smiling politely as others talked to him, a small quirk of his mouth. Till must’ve stared for a second too long because suddenly Ivan was lifting his head and their eyes met.

Till had seen him a hundred times, at least, through a screen but he wasn’t sure anything could’ve prepared him for this moment.

For seeing him, here, like this, in real life. Ivan was even more stunning in person.

Ivan’s smile stretched just a little wider, barely noticeable. Till should’ve smiled back but he felt like he was frozen.

“Okay,” the casting director – Luka – stood up from the table. “From what I’ve been told, this is your first time meeting, correct?”

Till didn’t even realize he was addressing them until Mizi gave a gentle nudge at his side. He flushed, standing a little taller. He might’ve been meeting his idol, for lack of a better word, but he was still a professional.

“Yes,” he answered, cursing the slight shake to his voice.

Ivan nodded. “I’ve seen him plenty, of course, but never met, no.”

Till felt a shiver down his spine. Ivan. Ivan had seen him before, too, which shouldn’t have been surprising. He had been on a number of notable series by now, but for some reason he still hadn’t been prepared to hear it.

“Wonderful,” Luka said, “Everyone – ” He did a little twirl with his finger, making a point to address everyone in the room. “Out.”

Till knew the process by now. Luka’s process, at least. He could be a little unorthodox. Usually he didn’t mind it, but right now he was already starting to feel sweat pool at the small of his back.

Mizi let out a tiny huff of amusement as she helped to herd everyone out of the room. Last to go was Luka, who didn’t even say a word before closing the door.

If Ivan was confused, he didn’t voice it. For a moment, the room was silent with just the two of them.

“Sorry,” Till said eventually, clearing his throat. He dared a glance in Ivan’s direction; he was standing just a few feet away, a thoughtful quirk to his head. “Luka can be a bit, uh. Unorthodox in his methods. He always likes to give actors a few minutes by themselves before starting the read.”

He was proud of himself; his voice was steady and clear.

Ivan hummed, but still didn’t say anything. Till took advantage of the moment to really look Ivan over. He was beautiful; dark hair swept back with a few loose strands, eyes lined with black – not too much, just enough to somehow make his dark eyes look even darker, his lips shined with a thin layer of gloss, skin clear and perfect.

The way his mouth was twisted, Till could even see his fang. Not literal, of course, it was just his canine – especially sharp and pronounced – but it had always been one of his selling points that fans seemed to like.

He looked like he was conjured up in a lab somehow.

And Till, well. He wasn’t naive. He knew he was attractive – wouldn’t have gotten this far in the industry if he wasn’t – but he felt lacking compared to Ivan, more than he had in a long time.

Without thinking, he reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to tame it. But the wild look was part of his appeal, Hyuna had always said. Made him stand out.

“Are you going to keep staring at me or actually introduce yourself?”

Till startled, yanking his hand out of his hair hard enough he winced a little. He opened his mouth, ready to apologize, but then he saw Ivan was smiling. Barely, really, more like a smirk.

Clearing his throat, he wiped his hands off on his jeans in what he hoped was a discreet move (he was still sweating like crazy) and stepped forward. “Why should I introduce myself when you apparently already know my name?”

He froze as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He was so stupid.

This was Ivan – the Ivan – and here he was already messing everything up because he never quite knew when to shut his mouth. He waited, expecting the worst. He wouldn’t have even been surprised if he’d pushed him out of the way and stormed out of the room.

But instead Ivan did the complete opposite. He gave a little laugh, eyes crinkling just a little around the edges. Till felt something warm blossom in the pit of his stomach.

“I haven’t had someone talk to me like that in, well, ages.” His eyes were still sparkling when he finally stopped laughing. He extended a hand. Till moved quickly before he could think too hard and just make himself more nervous. Ivan’s hand was warm, smooth.

Till knew his own hands weren’t nearly as smooth, from playing guitar. It was just a hobby he had picked up on the side, nothing more, but his hands still suffered for it.

“You must play an instrument,” Ivan said, startling him. For a moment, he wondered if he’d accidentally spoken his thoughts but then Ivan tilted his head. “Guitar?”

Till swallowed around the lump in his throat; Ivan’s thumb gently moved over his knuckles, once, fleeting, before he was pulling away. Maybe he’d imagined it. “Yeah. Um. Just a hobby.”

“I would love to hear you play, if ever given the chance,” Ivan said. Normally, Till would’ve brushed it off as empty words but there was something oddly sincere about the way he said it.

He dropped his gaze, focusing on the collar of Ivan’s shirt. Anything to make sure he didn’t keep staring at his face. “Yeah. Sure.”

Before he – or Ivan – could say anything else, the door was opened without even a knock. Till spun around as Luka entered the room followed by the rest of the staff and finally Mizi alongside a woman he didn’t quite recognize. He wondered if she was part of staff and somehow he had just never noticed her until now.

That question was answered quickly when she went to Ivan’s side. “You’ve totally got this,” she said, hushed but just loud enough Till could hear.

He wondered if that was true. Didn’t want to get his hopes up.

“Okay, since I’ve given you both more than enough time to get acquainted.” Luka nodded at the scripts on the table. “Go ahead.”

Till forced his hand to not shake as he reached out and grabbed his version of the script; the part they’d be rehearsing, today, had been highlighted. It wasn’t too long. He just had to get through the scene without any mistakes.

He skimmed through it quickly, saw Ivan doing the same, even though they had both already read the script. Ivan, possibly only one or twice, but Till had read it nearing a dozen times.

So how did he manage to forget what happened at the end?

They didn’t kiss, not in this scene, but they almost did and that was enough to have Till suddenly rethinking everything. You’re a professional, he reminded himself, and tried to believe it.

He had certainly kissed plenty of people on set by now but admittedly he had never found any of them quite as alluring as Ivan.

Still, this was a chance to prove himself. He wouldn’t let that get in the way of doing his job properly.

“We don’t have all day,” Luka said, as impatient as ever.

Till resisted the urge to glare at him and simply set the script aside; it wasn’t frowned upon to read from the script during chemistry reads, of course, but he had the entire thing memorized already.

Ivan probably hadn’t been able to memorize it in such a short time but Till was surprised to find he set his script aside as well. He was always called an acting prodigy by media, the best the industry had seen in ages, and it seemed like it went beyond just a good performance on screen.

They both stepped closer to each other, waited until Luka gave the final nod.

All jokes aside, Till really was a professional. He felt like he was a different person when he got into character. Immediately he felt his eyes start to sting, his bottom lip tremble a little.

“You lied to me,” he said, voice thick with emotion.

It was surprisingly easy to look Ivan in the eyes all of a sudden. Ivan stared back just as intensely, reached for his hands. He held them, loose and gentle. “You know I didn’t have a choice.”

Till jerked his hands away. “But you promised me.”

“I know, I know,” Ivan’s eyes were glossy too, brimming with so much emotion Till had to remind himself they were acting. He couldn’t remember ever having to do that before. “But I need you to trust me, okay?”

Till swallowed. “I – I don’t know if I can,” he whispered, just loud enough for Luka and the others to hear.

Ivan frowned, looking thoughtful for a moment. “How can I convince you to trust me?”

He opened his mouth, closed it, cursed himself because – he’d fucking forgotten the line. How could he have forgotten the line? He dared a quick glance at Luka, who was watching him with slightly narrowed eyes.

He was so screwed. Ivan was definitely getting the role, no doubt, but not before Till was probably kicked off the project.

And now he was so nervous he was shaking a little, hopefully not enough to be noticed by Luka and the others but there was no hiding it from Ivan, as close as he was.

So much for being a professional.

Maybe it would be better just to get it over with and admit his mistake, take whatever consequences would follow, even if that meant being kicked off the project. Even if it meant not getting to work with Ivan.

But as soon as he opened his mouth, Ivan surged forward and kissed him.

For a second he just stood there dumbly, eyes wide open. He heard a gasp from the side then a whispered, “I thought they weren’t actually supposed to kiss here?”

The only thing that followed was silence, but Till knew the answer; he might’ve forgotten his line but he still remembered how the scene ended – Ivan’s hand on his neck, thumb stroking his jaw as he begged him for one more chance.

Not a kiss, but something close. The actual kiss came far later in the script.

Till hadn’t prepared himself for this, but he knew he couldn’t risk ruining the scene even more. Eyelashes fluttering, he closed his eyes and cupped Ivan’s face, kissing him back with fervor.

It was like something out of his wildest dreams but also not at all.

After a few seconds, he dared to open his eyes, surprised to find Ivan already staring back at him.

Suddenly Ivan was pulling away, turning toward Luka. “Sorry, I got a bit carried away.”

Till licked his lips, flushed when he realized what he’d done and quickly pursed his lips into a thin line to ignore the urge to do it again.

“Well,” Luka looked torn between amusement and annoyance, “I supposed you were going to kiss him eventually one way or another.”

Till blinked as the words settled. “Wait, you mean – ”

“Don’t get too excited,” he interrupted, already standing, “but you should be optimistic.” Weirdly, he said it while staring at Till like he was the one auditioning for the spot, not Ivan. There was no way he knew, right? Or maybe he was letting him know he was going to be kind enough to ignore his obvious mistake. “We’ll call you once we’ve discussed it and made a final decision.”

Till watched as Luka left with the staff, not even giving them a glance back. For once, he was thankful to be ignored.

Once they were gone, Mizi rushed to his side. “Are you okay?” she asked, side-eyeing Ivan skeptically.

He appreciated her concern, as always, but he was fine. If kissing strangers was an issue for him, he probably would’ve picked a different career path, but even those kisses were usually planned for and this wasn’t, which was jarring, yes, but he wasn’t upset.

Ivan’s manager was at his side, too, looking at him with disapproval. Till wondered how often he did unexpected stuff like that.

Finally he brushed her off and stepped forward, closer to Till. Mizi pursed her lips but didn’t intervene; she really was the perfect manager for him.

“I apologize,” he said, giving a slight bow. “I shouldn’t have done that without warning, but…”

He trailed off, and Mizi finally spoke, “But?”

But Till already knew the answer. Ivan smiled, but it wasn’t mean. “You forgot your line,” he said. It wasn’t a question. Mizi startled, glancing at the script still laid out on the table. “An honest mistake. I didn’t want you getting chided for it, and I thought it’d work as a good enough distraction.”

It certainly had. Till could still feel the press of his lips – plush, but just a little dry.

“You did that for Till?” Mizi asked, sounding skeptical. Till couldn’t blame her; people in the industry rarely looked out for each other like that, nevertheless strangers.

Ivan nodded, his smile growing just a little wider. “I guess you could say I’m intrigued.” He extended a hand and Till took a second too long to move, realizing his intent. Ivan squeezed his hand. “I look forward to working together.”

Till envied his confidence. Technically, nothing was confirmed yet. But even he knew it wasn’t up in the air. Luka just liked making people sweat.

“Me too,” he said.

-

“Did you see Ivan’s manager?” Mizi asked the next day. Shooting wouldn’t start for a few weeks but she came over often just to hang out.

Till blinked. “The girl with the, uh, blue hair and piercing stare?”

He didn’t miss the way her mouth twitched, forming a smile for only a second. “Yeah.”

Till had recognized that smile, however brief. He looked back to the television. “You should go for it.”

“Wh – what?” she stammered, nearly spilling their bowl of popcorn. “I don’t – I mean – ”

He grinned, side-eyeing her. “I always knew you were into the stoic types.”

“She wasn’t – ” Mizi pursed her lips, looking down. “When you two were doing the read, you know how we all left? Well, we talked some.” Her cheeks were flushed, nearly the same shade of her regularly-dyed hair. “She was nicer than you’d think, looking at her.”

Till wasn’t sure how much he believed her. Everyone was nice to Mizi. She was just that kind of person. You would have to be pure evil to be mean to her. “I trust your judgment,” he said instead, reaching out and squeezing her arm.

She peered at him from under her eyelashes. “But what if it complicates things? Especially when you’ll be working with Ivan for the next few months. And I mean, I don’t even know if she’s, you know.”

“And you’ll never know if you don’t ask,” he replied, making sure to soften his voice. “And don’t worry about me, okay? I can take care of my own shit.”

-

Till was confident. It was something Mizi always said she admired about him; he knew what he wanted, and he wasn’t afraid to work for it.

But he was also well-aware of his own shortcomings. He could be testy and impatient, and didn’t always take being corrected or criticized well.

“What if I say something wrong?” he whined, standing in front of the oversized mirror in his living room.

Mizi glanced up from her phone. “Then you – and I know this is an abstract concept to you – but you apologize.”

Till glared at her through the mirror. “And what if he says something wrong?”

“You wait it out,” she replied just as easily. “I mean, he seemed nice enough at the chemistry read.” She set her phone aside, seemingly done with it for now. “He didn’t have to help you like that.”

Till felt his cheeks grow warm just remembering the kiss. In the moment, he had been able to control himself, too caught up in making sure he didn’t ruin the scene more or – worse – lose his role. But now, looking back, he couldn’t quite believe he had kissed Ivan.

It was always going to happen, Luka was right, if Ivan got the role but somehow that didn’t make it any easier to believe.

And he had gotten the role; Luka had called him this morning with the good news. After that, Till had thought about texting Ivan, congratulating him. They had exchanged numbers for a reason.

But he couldn’t quite work up the guts to do it.

He must’ve waited too long because eventually a text had popped up on his own phone from ‘Ivan’. (He had debated adding a heart before realizing that was asking for trouble.)

“Since we’ll officially be working together,” it had read, “I would like to get to know each other better.”

Till had mulled over how to respond for so long he had eventually texted Mizi instead for help. With her help, he had responded back with a simple, “How about brunch?”

He still wasn’t sure people actually used the word brunch in real life but he had trusted Mizi more than himself in the moment, and either way it worked out because Ivan said yes.

He said yes with a little :) to be precise and Till felt like his heart was going to burst. He was playing a dangerous game, he knew, letting himself feed into this when they were coworkers, nothing else, but he couldn’t help it.

And Mizi was enabling it.

After their conversation, Mizi had invited herself over to help him get ready. Fair enough, because without Hyuna he wasn’t really too sure how to do much more than throw on a shirt and jeans.

She had helped him with some basic makeup – a bit of eyeliner and gloss – then picked out his outfit for him, which he still wasn’t sure about.

It was brunch, after all, but she had picked out a long-sleeved silky blue shirt and black jeans. He felt a little overdressed but she had assured him it was perfect.

“I should get going,” she announced, tearing him out of his downward spiral. She jumped off the couch and walked over, peering in the mirror alongside him. “You look hot.”

Till snorted, shaking his head. “I used to dream of you hearing you say that.”

And it was true; when they had first met, when his career was still new and fresh, he had immediately developed a crush on her. Now, he was glad they were just friends. Now, they were so close it didn’t even feel weird joking about it.

Mizi winked playfully and patted him on the back. “Just be yourself.”

That was what he was afraid of.

-

Mizi left after that, which was expected – it was only an hour until Ivan was set to arrive – but being alone didn’t help his nerves at all.

Nearly exactly on the dot, Till’s doorbell rang. Old-fashioned, really, because most people just texted when they arrived.

Smoothing his shirt down in the mirror, and reminding himself this wasn’t a date, he walked over and opened the door.

Thankfully, he hadn’t been the only one to get dressed up. Ivan wore a long-sleeved black shirt, tucked neatly into dark blue slacks. His hair was swept back out of his face; if he wore makeup, it wasn’t obvious enough for Till to be able to tell but either way he was as stunning as ever.

Till realized – belatedly – that he had just been staring at him without saying anything for at least a minute. Flushing, he stepped out of the way, a silent invitation inside.

Just as he opened his mouth to say something, anything, Ivan was saying, “I almost feel bad for what I’m about to suggest,” he smiled, small, “considering how good you look.”

Till blinked once, twice. “Oh. Um. What?”

Stupid. He was so stupid.

“You obviously got dressed up intending to go out,” Ivan continued, still smiling with a hint of amusement dancing in his dark eyes, “which I know we discussed, but…”

Till swallowed; why was his mouth so dry? “But?”

“But,” Ivan tilted his head a little. “I can’t speak for you, of course, but getting recognized in public is daunting.”

Till was suddenly reminded of their differences. He’d been recognized a few times, sure, but undoubtedly nothing compared to what Ivan went through. His face was plastered everywhere – billboards, magazines, commercials – so no wonder he was tired of getting recognized everywhere he went.

Even if you didn’t know Ivan, you’d at least seen his face. And most people can’t control themselves around a celebrity, regardless of personal interest.

“I understand,” he said finally, not sure what else to say.

Ivan smiled a bit wider. “So do you mind?” Till wasn’t quite sure what he was asking, but thankfully he continued before he could make a fool of himself. “I know it must also be daunting to have a stranger in your apartment.”

The dots connected quickly, suddenly. Till didn’t even have to think about the answer. “I don’t mind at all,” he said, but then, “I just – well.” Warm in the face, he gestured weakly at his kitchen. “I don’t have much.”

“No problem,” Ivan was already pulling out his phone. “We can just order something.”

-

That was how they ended up on his couch, shoes thrown off, eating a pizza. It was oddly comfortable, even though Till kept catching himself staring at Ivan’s mouth.

It was hard not to remember the kiss. It had just been part of the script, albeit a little early. Not to mention, Ivan had only done it to save him from making a complete fool of himself.

But it was still hard to forget, or brush off. After all, Till had admired him (and possibly had a crush on him) for so long. He never imagined just meeting him, nevertheless anything more.

“Do I have something on my face?”

Ivan’s seemingly innocent question was what finally drew him back to reality.

Till startled, nearly dropping his slice of pizza. It was starting to get cold anyway. “Um. No. I mean. Your face is fine.”

He winced at his own words, cursing himself internally.

Ivan smiled – no, that was a smirk. “I’m glad to hear you think my face is ‘fine’.”

“Well, I mean, I didn’t – your face is more than fine,” Till stammered, even as he cursed himself more with each word.

For a moment, there was silence and Till was sure he had finally properly screwed things up. But then Ivan threw his head back and started laughing hard enough he shook the couch a little.

Once he quieted down, he gazed at Till with a crooked smile. “You’re funny.”

Till flushed. “I’m sure you hear that kind of stuff all the time.”

“Mmm,” Ivan tilted his head back and forth. “Yeah, but people are usually a lot more suave about it.” When Till frowned, he nudged him with his foot. “That’s a good thing. I prefer when people don’t try so hard.”

Till couldn’t fight back a smile even if he tried. “Oh.”

“I was gonna suggest we do a readthrough of the script tonight but,” Ivan checked his phone. “It’s getting late.”

Till tried to hide his disappointment. He was surprised how much he’d enjoyed Ivan’s company. He had hoped he would, of course, but he was never sure how these things would go. Like mentioned, he didn’t always get along with people easily. And Ivan was, well, Ivan.

Famous, beautiful, rich. Till expected him to be a lot more conceited or snobby. Most of the famous people Till met were like that, after all, but not Ivan. He was sweet. A little odd, but wasn’t everyone?

“Are you free next Friday?” Ivan asked.

Till didn’t even have to think. If he had plans, he would just have to reschedule.

“Um, probably,” he said, aiming for casual and probably failing.

Ivan smiled again; he had one fang that Till was starting to think was unfairly adorable. “We can meet, then, go over the script.”

“Sounds good.” Amazing, actually, but he didn’t dare seem too eager, even though he was starting to think Ivan wouldn’t mind.

-

“Soooo,” Mizi slung herself over the couch ungracefully. “How did it go, hmm?”

Till snorted, pushing her out of the way to sit down. “I – ” His smile fell. Mizi was quick to adapt, sitting up properly. She had always been good at adapting to his moods. “I think I might be screwed.”

“What?” she leaned in closer. “Did he do something?”

Till appreciated her concern, as unfounded as it was. “No, he was… he was great, actually. We ate pizza and talked about a lot of nothing. He mentioned coming over next Friday so we can actually go over the script.”

“So… what’s wrong?” She was frowning, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. He couldn’t blame her.

He sighed, peering down at his hands folded together in his lap. “I think I could really like him, Mizi. Like… a lot.”

The thing was, he had never really liked someone before. He had certainly never dated. Beyond his short-lived crush on Mizi, passionate as it was, he had never even gotten the urge to date, or even do what a lot of other actors did and sleep around casually.

And now he was worried if he spent too much time with Ivan, that might change. Turn into something more than a crush from afar.

For a long moment, they were both silent. Finally, Mizi reached for his hands, cradling them gently.

“You are a really good person, Till.”

He rolled his eyes, an automatic response. She squeezed his hands harder.

“You always undervalue yourself, Till,” she continued, and he couldn’t look away from her determined gaze. “You act overconfident to make up for it, but I know you too well for that. You don’t know think someone like Ivan could ever like you but you fail to realize he’d be lucky to have you.”

He swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. “I – ”

But she apparently wasn’t finished, “I met with Sua.” She paused for a moment, like she was realizing something. “Ivan’s manager,” she clarified. “We really hit it off. She cares for Ivan like I care for you, I think.”

He just nodded, unsure where this was going but happy for her either way.

“I probably shouldn’t say this, it isn’t my place but,” she smiled, small, “I will, because I think you need to hear it. Apparently Ivan can’t stop talking about you. Sua said he’s never been so interested in another person. She even asked me about you.” Her smile widened a bit. “I only said good things, of course. I knew she was just worried.”

Till couldn’t believe it. He had also never known Mizi to lie, especially about serious stuff.

“But I – I can’t,” he stammered, looking down at their hands. “Even if he was interested,” which was so hard to believe he almost felt like he was dreaming, “I can’t risk it.”

Mizi ducked her head, forcing her eyes to meet again. “Why not?”

“You know why,” he said, and he wasn’t even embarrassed that he sounded like a petulant child. “I would be risking the movie. If we had a fight or – or broke up, I don’t know if I could pretend like nothing happened.”

He was making a lot of assumptions anyway; assuming Ivan was interested in something more, when maybe he just wanted something casual or temporary. But still the details didn’t matter. Either way, Till knew he couldn’t go back to acting like only coworkers.

“Till, I know you care about this movie,” she smiled again but there was something sad about the curve of her mouth, pitying. “But sometimes life is about taking chances. You can’t just depend on your career for happiness forever.”

He wanted to argue because he couldn’t find the words. Mizi squeezed his hands even tighter. It was almost painful but also oddly comforting.

“What if you got a role a few years from now – your dream role – but then suddenly you were kicked off the cast.” Till waited, knowing she wasn’t finished. “You would be devastated, obviously, but you would be even more devastated if you had to go home to an empty apartment.”

Till licked his lips; when did they get so dry?

“Plenty of people are satisfied never having a partner. Dating.”

Mizi rolled her eyes. “I know that but I also know you’re not one of them, Till.”

She really did know him too well. “But we’re both famous, Mizi, and he’s – he’s a household name. If we dated, we couldn’t keep it from the public for too long. Someone would find out.”

“And that is something worth discussing,” she finally released his hands, choosing instead to squeeze his wrist. “With him.”

Till suddenly felt like crying. He didn’t, but his eyes burned. “What if we’re wrong? Even Sua?”

“Then you can come to me and cry it out.” She smiled, warm and sincere.

It was a decent enough backup plan. Without warning, he lunged forward and hugged her. “Have I said recently how you are the best manager in the world?”

“You don’t have to tell me, I already know.”

-

Till decided not to rush it, even if Mizi suggested texting Ivan and setting a closer date to see each other again.

When Friday finally rolled around, he felt like he was going to be sick.

He made a point to not dress up, just a pair of his usual jeans and a black t-shirt. If this was going to happen, he wanted to be sure it was because Ivan really liked him. Not because he thought he looked good enough to settle for.

A few minutes after 12, his doorbell rang.

Brushing by the mirror without looking, he opened the door. Ivan had apparently had the same thought; he looked as gorgeous as last time, obviously, but he was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans too with a thin jacket. His hair also wasn’t slicked back, hanging loosely around his face.

He also had a bag, probably to carry around the script and whatever else he might need.

Like last time, they ordered food and ended up on the couch. This time, however, they had the scripts. Till noticed a ton of highlighted parts in Ivan’s copy; maybe he shouldn’t have assumed he just had a natural gift for memorizing things. He had obviously worked just as hard.

For a while, they just rehearsed through the easy parts. Didn’t bother acting any of the parts out just yet.

Most of that stuff – gestures, movements – would be changed before they actually started filming anyway so Till didn’t usually worry about it, just focused on the actual dialogue.

But then they flipped the page and Till saw it: the scene where they kissed. The actual scene.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. When Till finally chanced a look up, he noticed Ivan was already looking at him.

“Do you usually practice these parts?” Ivan asked.

Till tried to decipher his voice, his expression, but it was all perfectly neutral.

“Sometimes,” he answered, because it was true. “Makes it less awkward later.” But other actors preferred keeping any kissing strictly in front of the camera. Till didn’t really have a preference.

Ivan hummed thoughtfully. “Well then, I’m up for it, if you are.”

He could almost hear Mizi in his head, telling him he shouldn’t do this. He should confess, first, otherwise it wasn’t fair. To him or Ivan. And he would confess tonight. He had already made that decision but…

Couldn’t he be just a little selfish first?

“Sure.” Understatement of the century.

Collecting their scripts, Till set them aside on the coffee table and was relieved when Ivan made the first move to scoot closer. He still couldn’t quite read his face, perfectly blank.

“Let me know if you want to stop,” Ivan said, a hand already reaching out and settling on Till’s neck, warm and heavy.

Till was pretty sure Ivan could’ve done anything to him in that moment and he still wouldn’t have asked him to stop, but he appreciated the sentiment.

Not trusting his voice, Till just gave a tiny nod and that seemed to be enough for Ivan. He leaned forward, slowly, like he was giving Till the chance to stop him if he wanted to.

He didn’t.

Finally their lips touched, just a gentle press. Ivan’s lips were even softer than he remembered, warmer too. The script didn’t detail the kiss; that would be decided later with help from the director but – Till supposed Ivan was preparing for everything as he tilted his head, pressing their lips together with a bit more fervor.

Hardly complaining, Till kissed back, scooting a little closer. That should’ve been it. Given the scene, it was doubtful the kiss was going to be anything more than this.

But Ivan didn’t pull away, and Till wasn’t going to be the first to end it.

Opening his eyes, he finally wasn’t surprised for once to find Ivan already staring back at him. What was difference, however, was the look in his eyes. Intense, but somehow warm.

Till felt a shiver down his spine and decided this was it. Words had never been his specialty. Moving quickly, he shifted up onto his knees and swung a leg over Ivan to settle on the other side, kissing him the entire time.

Only once he was settled, straddling him, did he finally pull back. “Is this okay?”

Ivan’s eyes were always dark, nearly black, but this was something else. “Depends,” he replied, low but steady. He lifted his hands, placing them on Till’s hips. “Is this okay?”

Instead of replying with words, Till just leaned in and kissed him again. This kiss was immediately different from the first, filthy and almost aggressive. Ivan bit at his bottom lip, just the edge of too hard, and Till let out a sound in the back of his throat that was outright embarrassing.

He only pulled back for air when he absolutely had to, panting a little to catch his breath. Ivan’s eyes were half-lidded; he somehow looked the best he ever had. Till swallowed. This was his chance.

“I have something to confess,” he forced the words out before he could reconsider.

Ivan blinked, once, almost immediately looking more alert. “What?” His hands shifted on his hips but didn’t pull away. “Do you want to stop?”

“Quite literally the opposite,” he replied, feeling nearly delirious. This was it. “I know this is – probably not what you want at all, and I’m probably reading too much into everything, and – and I know this could get in the way of the movie, I’m not an idiot, but I think I would really regret not saying it.”

Ivan squeezed his hips, then, and it was enough to make him feel a little more grounded. “You’re kind of scaring me here, Till.”

He stared at Ivan for a moment, appreciating every detail of his face, before he took a deep breath, “I think I could end up liking you.” He paused, letting the words settle properly in the silence between them. “A lot.”

Till wasn’t sure what he was expecting. The silence lingered so long he was starting to feel an ache in his chest.

Without a word, he went to move off Ivan’s lap but his hands tightened around his waist. “Stay,” he said, the softest Till had ever heard his voice.

“You don’t have to try and – and placate me,” Till stammered, but he didn’t try to move again. “I’m not gonna be mad at you for not feeling the same way.”

Ivan opened his mouth, closed it. Till watched his face flicker through about ten different emotions before suddenly he was kissing him again, hard and messy. Till gasped into his mouth, surprised – confused – but hardly disappointed.

He curled his fingers in Ivan’s hair, eyelashes fluttering. He could do this forever. He also knew he needed a real answer.

He deserved that.

Mustering all his courage, he pulled back. Ivan stared up at him with a newfound intensity. He forced himself to speak around the lump in his throat, “I’ve admired you for a long time. I know that might not be – appealing, in this context. But I don’t think that has anything to do with what I’ve felt since we met.”

Ivan continued to stare at him. Till gulped.

“You’re just not what I expected,” he paused. “In a really good way, and I’ve never done this before. Not just with another actor. Or, uh, coworker. I mean, like at all.”

The corner of Ivan’s mouth started to quirk up. “You’re cute.”

“Oh.” Till flushed. “Thank you?”

Ivan let out a soft laugh; gently, he moved Till off him. Under different circumstances, he might’ve overthought what that meant but Ivan was still smiling, warm and small.

“Are you asking me out, Till?” he asked, not even trying to hide the mirth in his eyes.

He supposed he was, in a way. “I mean, that’s – that’s assuming a lot. I just, I wanted to let you know. I didn’t – ” He hadn’t expected anything, he meant to say, but he suddenly stopped, finally connecting the dots. “Wait. Does that mean – ?”

Ivan leaned against the back of the couch, watching him with that same sparkle in his eyes. “I liked you the second I set my eyes on you,” the confession felt like igniting fire in Till’s very core. “I wasn’t sure why, at first. I’d never felt that way before, and we barely knew each other.”

Till didn’t dare speak; he didn’t trust his voice anyway.

“But you’re… different,” Ivan hummed. “I can’t quite put my finger on it.” He smiled, that fang poking out again. Till wanted to feel it against his lip again. “And frankly, I don’t really care to.”

He paused, reaching out. Till didn’t even think twice, moving as if commanded by something out of his control. Ivan held his hand gently, thumb pressing into his knuckles, not hard but comforting. Grounding, like he somehow knew Till felt a little untethered.

“But I’m assuming you know by now I can’t promise you this won’t get out. Even when you’re surrounded by people you think you can trust, it’s not quite true in our line of work, is it?”

Till had already went over this in his head. “I don’t mind. I think it’s worth the risk.”

“We should at least keep it between us,” Ivan said softly, and Till wasn’t sure yet what he was going to say next. If he wanted to keep this hidden because he was ashamed or embarrassed to be seen with him. But then – “Just until the movie is done shooting. I don’t want them to project or assume anything just because we’re together.”

Till nodded. “I agree,” he said, meaning it. It was the smart move. “And if anything happens, if this doesn’t work, I need us to be on the same page.”

“I hope we won’t have to worry about that,” Ivan replied, “but the fact you even want to discuss it...” He smiled again, almost approvingly. Till didn’t want to admit how much that did for his confidence. “I promise you won’t have anything to worry about from my end. I could even give you something to use against me, if it would give you peace of mind.”

Till let out a sudden laugh, surprised by the odd offer. But just as Ivan kept saying he was different, he was starting to think Ivan’s oddness was what had really captivated him. “I’ll just have to take your word for it,” he said, still smiling.

-

They never ended up having to worry about. Months later, when the movie was wrapping up, they all celebrated by having dinner at Ivan’s house. The place had always been beautiful, from the very first time Till had seen it, but now it felt more like a proper home.

Pictures lined the walls that used to be empty, mostly of the two of them, but some were just of Till. He complained about them, sometimes, embarrassed but secretly he liked it.

Some were of all of them – Ivan, arms wrapped around Till. Mizi and Sua, heads tilted together.

Till was pretty sure he had died and gone to heaven. Or maybe he just should’ve been more hopeful when he was younger because sometimes he still struggled to believe this was real.

Sitting at the table, Ivan on his left and Mizi on his right, he wondered what he had done to end up lucky enough to have met both of them.

Or maybe Ivan was right, as he always liked to say: “You deserve good things, Till.”

Till still remembered the first time he’d said it when they were laid out in his bed. He had kissed Till’s forehead and he had suddenly felt the urge to cry, eyes burning.

Maybe, just maybe, he was finally starting to believe it.

“Can you believe they still haven’t figured it out?” Mizi was saying, giggling around the rim of her wine glass. “’How is their chemistry so good?’” she said, repeating what the director had said earlier.

Till hadn’t really heard him. He’d been too busy kissing Ivan with as much fervor as he kissed him every night. He supposed there were benefits, actually, to dating your costar.

Sua smiled at her side. “You can’t blame him. I’m surprised they were actually able to keep it hidden until the end of filming.”

Till chanced a glance at Ivan, who was already staring back at him. He smiled. Ivan smiled back, giving a nod.

“About that, actually,” Till cleared his throat. “We are planning to disclose that we’re dating. Not how long, obviously, but… we thought it might make things easier, especially since Ivan can’t stop complaining about wanting to take me places and not being able to.”

Mizi smiled, shifting to take Sua’s hand where it was resting atop the table.

“We’re happy for you.” She glanced at Ivan. “Both of you.”

-

At the end of the night, Till was surprised to have Mizi pull him away from Ivan’s side. She walked them to the edge of the porch, grasping his hands tightly in her own.

“I know this is going to be cheesy and you’ll hate every second of it,” she said, “but I just really need to say it.”

Till tilted his head with a confused smile.

“I used to worry about you.” She squeezed his hands tighter. “You always acted like you were fine on your own but I just – I could tell you had so much love to give and for a while I almost felt guilty, turning you down.”

Till tensed, already opening his mouth, but she continued, “I know you never wanted me to, and you never did anything to make me feel that. I promise. It was just – normal concern for a friend, okay?”

She gently shook their hands, smiling now. “But now I see you with Ivan and… Till, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so happy.”

He couldn’t fight the smile off his own face, small and sincere. He stared down at their hands. “I – ” He paused, swallowed around the lump in his throat. He hadn’t even said this to Ivan, yet, but somehow it felt right. Saying it, now, to Mizi first. “I think I love him.”

For a long moment, there was silence. When he finally glanced up, Mizi wasn’t looking at him. She was staring over his shoulder, eyes a little wide, and –

He dropped her hands and spun around. Ivan stood there, frozen with his hand in the air like he had just been about to tap his shoulder. Mizi squeaked and scooted past them, rushing to join Sua at the other end of the porch.

“I was going to ask if you were cold,” Ivan said, dropping his hand. It was chilly out, middle of autumn now, and Ivan knew he ran cold. The simple but sweet gesture made his heart feel like it was going to burst out of his chest.

Till just nodded, not trusting his voice. Ivan shucked off his jacket and moved to wrap it around his frame.

“I didn’t want you hear that,” Till said finally, clutching the jacket to keep it from falling. “I was going to tell you soon. Just needed the right moment. I know it’s probably too soon or I don’t know, I don’t really know how to gauge these things – ”

Ivan moved, smooth but fast, wrapping an arm around his waist and drawing him in close enough to tip their foreheads together. If he remembered they still had company present, he didn’t seem phased by it. “I don’t believe in there being a right time for anything,” he breathed softly. “I love you, Till.”

He smiled so big he knew his cheeks were going to hurt later. He didn’t care. Happiness was worth it. “Good,” he said before cupping both sides of Ivan’s face and kissing him.

It reminded him a lot of their first kiss but this time the roles were reversed. Ivan seemed surprised for just a second before he smiled against his lips, tugging him even closer.

When they separated, Till was breathless. He wasn’t complaining.

“I hate to say this,” he let out a shaky laugh, still catching his breath, “but I think we need to send a thank you card or something.”

Ivan raised an eyebrow, searching his face. “To who?”

“I’ll tell you later,” he replied before moving in to kiss him again. He heard Sua’s groan from across the porch. Ivan laughed against his mouth.

-

A week before they left for their first vacation, just a couple days after the news of them dating had hit the media, Till went to the store and picked out a card. It was the vaguest card he could find in the store, just a simple “thank you” with a smiley face on the front. He signed it just as simply – Ivan and Till – and left it like that. He trusted Luka to figure it out.

[my-names-angel-but-im-not-one]

Replaced or not?

Part-1 Part-2 Part-3

For summary n details check out part-1

Pairing: Obey me character x mc!

"Well what do you want now Lucifer!?" Seethed Satan as he was the last one to enter HOL's hall. Lucifer had call everyone to HOL immediately after the scene.

"I've been here for hours and he won't tell me what's wrong" i said to satan rolling my eyes.

"You know the human better than anyone else don't you Satan?" Lucifer said his voice deep and full of anger . "Than care to explain this" he grabbed my hand and showed it to satan, making everyone else gasp and saw the mark too. Before I could speak Lucifer spoke again.

"Why is this human whoring around"

.

.

.

As those bitter words left Lucifer's mouth satan opened his mouth to argue but you beat him to it.

You stood up from where were you sitting and grabbed Lucifer's collor shaking him as hard as you can, which was hard enough to make his eye wide with shock and...........is that fear ?

"Don't. You. Dare. Lucifer Morning Star" you grit in anger as you slowing looked him in the eye. You eyes filled with angry tears and so much of hatred . You refused to cry infront of him....and his pathetic existence.

"OI!!" Mammon interrupted, you can feel run hai smiling as mammon went up. You were ready to fight him too if needed.

"You went too far lucifer!" You went into a state of surprise.

'Mammon taking your side??? What?'

"yes that's right! You can't say that to our mc!!".

'wtf? asmo??' you thought.

Lucifer saw that his brothers were not going to support him . He realised that what he did was wrong."i-i I apologise mc" Lucifer said straightening his tie that was now wrinkled cause of you. "I should've asked you first" he said "i didn't know what came over me". He went to sit and gestured for you too.

"so....how did this happen"

_______________________________

By the time you ended explaining everyone was seething in anger like they were ready to tear lucien apart.

Even asmo looked enraged.

"Um..is it something really bad?" You asked swallowing nervously. Beside you run hai was frowning because of how much attention you were getting.

"Lucien is a noble that we don't have very good relationship with" Lucifer muttered.

"Well hun, it is a mating mark . It appears when two person have mated together for life and by mating you know what i mean~, but if they've not mated and the other demon stil want you so they can forcefully put their mark around most demons are able to protect themselves though when forced it'll hurt or burn which in your case did and that means you were forced."

You glared at Lucifer yet again and he looked away in shame knowing that you were , apparently forced.

"But if i don't go near him or something or don't meet him wouldn't it be fine?" You asked hoping it'd be ok to.

"Well it do not work like that you'll be.....um.. specifically submissive towards him so you can't do anything" satan said devastated.

"How do I get this off" i said wanting to itch it off me.

"Well if you mated with someone else.. It'll came off" belphegor said now very much awake.

"hmm that is true-"

"No eww- no find another way!!" You said in pure disgust

"There's nothing to eww about hun~" Asmo said coming closer.

Though run hai stopped him grabbing his arm 'Atleast this bitch is somewhat useful' i muttered .

"yes she's right you can't just mate with her you know asmo~"

She said as she cling to asmodeus's arm . Asmo looked at her with a smile though that was a bit strained . Maybe they are coming around. Finally.

"We don't know any other way to remove the mated mark at the moment I'll try to find something!" Satan said.

"I'll ask barbatos or diavolo to have a talk with Lucien though it's like we'll be able to do much as he's a noble" Lucifer stated .

"Yeah you'd with me till then ya get it?! Also i-i I-I......um i- u.. T-The great M-mammom will form a pact with ya so ya can be safe!! Yeah that's right ya better be greatful!!" Mammon said making you shocked .

"you want what now!??" You said not wanting to believe it.

"Oh please if anything they should form a pact with me MC! Knows me more than you ! Let's make a pact mc Kay?" Satan said as he was about to grab you hand but mammon beat it to him and grabbed your hand first. "Mammooonn " "what".

As mammon finished getting a pact with you Satan came to next.

Mammon's pact sigil formed on your left boob it was a bit visible as you wore a crop top.

"I wanna see my mark" "No you're not get away! Pervert..."

Satan's sigil formed at the back of your left hand (like hanma tattoo 👀)

"We're bound now" satan said kissing lightly on his mark.

"Ooo~ two pacts in one day ~~"

"I-i"

*Caw Caw*

A crow banged hard on the window . Lucifer opened the window to let him fly him as he carried a letter. Though the crow came to sit on your shoulder . You took the letter from him and opened it to read.

You hands started shaking.

"What is it human?"

"An invitation.....from Lucien"

[A/N]: hihi guyss!!

Who's Lucien ? What did he do to make the bros angry? You got a pact with 2 demons!! And will you go to the invitation??

Thanks for reading!!

[alleyskywalker]

🐅💖💛 for Jeyne Westerling, please

Oooh thank you!

🐅 - Characterization: character habits, personality, etc.

I see/headcanon Jeyne as this mixture of sweet, romantic, idealistic and compassionate on one hand, but also passionate, headstrong, stubborn and maybe a bit selfish in certain respects on the other. I don't really see her as ambitious or interested in politics though. In my headcanon(s), that's more her sister.

💖 - Romantic relationships or ships. (This could be as simple as sharing a rareship you enjoy, or an unusual interpretation of a popular/canon ship!)

Hmm I don't know that I have a lot of Jeyne ships. I've enjoyed shipping her with Sansa! I do kinda ship her with Robb, tbh? But the thing is I definitely don't see this as either 1) a completely one-sided relationship or 2) a perfect non-problematic relationship as tends to be the two most common interpretations I've seen.

Without writing a whole ass meta here (lol) there's too components of my opinion here. First, while I think it's reasonable to assume that duty and wanting to do the right thing played a role in Robb's decision to marry Jeyne, I reject the notion that that's all it was. I see no reason to take his talk to duty at face value but not his super sappy "I conquered her castle and she conquered my heart." Like please, that's a cringe, goo-ey teenage infatuation if I've ever seen one. (Also, I'm sorry, but they fuck like rabbits on the daily. I know Robb needs an heir but this does not sound like someone who's not enjoying sex with his wife.) So yea, I think he was into her a lot, and wanting to keep her with him and also his feelings making him less willing to hurt her played a large part in in decision making as well as honor and duty considerations.

That said, Robb was kinda shitting to her and I think there's ample possible reason for this, everything from his initial infatuation fading somewhat to having to return to the war and all its stresses full time have put a damper on his ability/desire for romance if not his libido. (And it's not like Robb isn't ever kinda shitty toward other people he ostensibly loves/cares about...) I do think though, that had Robb survived the war, they could have ended up having a pretty happy marriage.

Second, this fandom really needs to recognize more how sketchy the circumstances around their first sexual encounter were. I'm not saying Jeyne didn't consent to the sex, but...it amazes me that people who easily recognize the coercive elements in the Criston/Rhaenyra scene don't see them here. The power imbalance is significant. Robb has conquered her home and his men are literally occupying it. Jeyne and her family are completely at his mercy. She doesn't really know him that well so it's hard for her to tell how he will/won't react to things (such as a sexual rejection). Robb absolutely has a temper, and if she ever witnessed it that would not have been comforting. Yes, she's attracted to him/infatuated or in love with him, but that's not really there or here when it comes to consent at any specific given moment. (Criston was attracted to Rhaenyra,, Cersei in love with Jaime - that didn't change the issues with those sex scenes.) Yes, Robb had recently been ill, but this is not a Petyr and Lysa situation frankly. Robb gives no indication of being confused about what had been happening or what they were doing. I'm also pretty sure no one was giving him war reports while he was high on milk of the poppy or whatever.

And again, I'm not saying she didn't say yes or want to... But also...that's kind of the point to. We don't know exactly what happened. Or really even any not extremely vague version. I'm sure Robb believes for every moment that she was into it. But this is less to say "it was definitely dubcon" and more like...I think this situation was more psychologically complicated than fandom has any desire to explore. (Weird in a fandom that looooves to talk about these issues. But then Robb's a Stark so what do I expect? lol) Personally, I enjoy some ambiguity there, a bit of uncertainty, a bit of confusion on Jeyne's part afterwards maybe. Because otherwise...how reckless, how selfish of her. And I don't want to be of that opinion of her.

(Literally, do not come at me with the "they drugged/seduced him" misogynistic conspiracy theories. I will sacrifice you to the Drowned God.)

💛 - Familial relationships.

I def have thoughts/feelings about Jeyne and her siblings! I think before her marriage/the Incident with Robb she was pretty close with all of them. Rollam is probably her most "surface" relationship - he's a lot younger and a boy, so they're not as close as she is with her sister and older brother, but it's also relatively straightforward and uncomplicated. That doesn't really change.

Eleyna is a more complex relationship - she's also a few years younger but them being sisters they have some more common interests/goals/environments/etc. Probably more of a complexity than their difference in age is their difference in personality. I hc Jeyne taking more after their father and Eleyna taking more after their mother. Eleyna is more practical and cynical, particularly for her age, less prone to romanticism and more prone to following the rules, or at least appearing to. But still being young this is also a bit sublimated with the naivete of childhood and such. She's far more ambitious than Jeyne. This all gets especially fraught after Jeyne gets involved with Robb. Eleyna does not take this well. She instinctively (and in part actually) understands the danger Jeyne's marriage puts their family in and the problems it will cause of Eleyna personally down the line, especially if Robb doesn't win. She also understands that if Jeyne's reputation is ruined her own could be impacted/questioned as well, especially when her prospects were already lower than Jeyne's, being the younger daughter. So she is extremely angry at Jeyne for what she considers to be her thoughtlessness and selfishness. So their relationship suffers not insignificantly.

Raynald I headcanon as like Jeyne's best friend. They're extremely close and while he's not sure how to feel about this whole allegiance switching thing generally and knows it's dangerous, he'll do pretty much anything for his sister's happiness.

[i-like-words]

Checking In (MTaP)

Dusting off this ancient account to post a bit of the My Time At Portia Arlo/Builder!self ficlets that have been absolutely dumping out of me lately. seriously it's just been like. non stop writing for two weeks straight, this video game man has done unspeakable things to my brain and I love it

some lore and context: Adri was discovered frozen within a massive ruin, thawed out, reawoken after a stupid amount of years and whoops - turns out they have Trauma™ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ luckily our favorite good guy redheaded captain takes it upon himself to keep them out of trouble :)

this particular bit takes place like a week after Adri is introduced as the new Builder - they go MIA, leading Arlo and Merlin to swing by the old workshop

(As an aside, my Builder!self is non-binary. By this point no one within the canon knows this, so characters will refer to them with she/her while the narrative uses they/them, just to assuage any confusion or cw people beforehand of misgendering - it's intentional but temporary)

ANYWAY

cw for swearing and aforementioned misgendering

Arlo stepped through the gate and looked around. The yard had become quite overgrown and the workbench was strewn with stray leaves. It looked as though none of the equipment there had even been touched. There was no sign of Adri. Merlin peered over the scene and began jotting down notes.

Approaching the door to the little shack, Arlo noticed the lights were off.

"Do you suppose Adri is out for the day?" he asked.

"Mm, unlikely," Merlin replied, not looking up from her notebook. "Considering no one has really seen nor heard from her since the fireside chat. Not even the farm girl or her grandmother across the way."

Slowly, Arlo reached out and rapped on the wooden door with his knuckles. "Hello?" he called out.

Silence.

He knocked again.

"Anyone home? It's Arlo, from the Civil Corp. I'm here with Director Merlin from the Research Center. I'm sure you remember us from... before."

More silence.

"Uhh, listen. Mayor Gale asked us to check in on you, since no one has really, er, seen or heard from you in a handful of days. You... um, don't have to open the door, but give us a sign that you're alive...?"

"Though opening the door would be the preferable option," Merlin interjected.

Still no answer. Arlo chewed his lip. He wondered if maybe Adri was simply sleeping... understandable that someone who'd been reawakened after being frozen for a few hundred years would probably want to nap off that whole ordeal. But, still, as the one put in charge--self-appointed, yes, but in charge--of making sure Adri was safely acclimating to life in Portia, Arlo hoped that his first check-in with the new Builder wouldn't end with him breaking down the door.

Before he could contemplate that scenario further, said door suddenly parted, ever so slightly, from the door frame; Adri's pale face was barely visible through the open crack. Dark eyes glowered at Arlo, then at Merlin.

"There. I'm alive. Now go away," they said flatly, and with that, the door was shut once more.

Arlo stood there awkwardly, startled, but relieved he wouldn't, in fact, have to resort to property damage. At least not today. "Oh. Ah, that's... good. Um. I... we were hoping to maybe speak with you, see if there was perhaps anything you might need...?"

"What I need is for you to leave me alone," came the muffled, yet terse reply from behind the closed door. Merlin scribbled into her notebook.

"Hmm. Specimen... displaying... antisocial tendencies..."

"You're not helping," Arlo sighed to Merlin, before addressing the door again. "Uh, can we at least ask you a few questions?"

Silence.

"I promise once we're done we'll both leave you be. You have my word."

Silence.

"Do these so-called 'wellness visits' of yours always go this poorly?" Merlin asked, shouldering Arlo aside. She then knocked on the door. And hard. "Ms. Adri, while I understand you're going through a rather difficult period of adjustment, this an important matter, and neither myself nor Mr. Arnold will be vacating the premises until we can speak with you face-to-face."

Silence.

"You were saying?" asked Arlo pointedly, moving himself back in front of the door.

Merlin folded her arms indignantly. "Hmph..."

"Um... sorry about that, Adri," Arlo continued. "Just ignore what she said. Anyway, we're glad to see that you're, in fact, not dead, and it's, uh... pretty clear that you're not exactly in the mood to be social right now, which is totally fine, so we'll... just come back later."

He was about to turn to leave, when the door reopened and swung out slowly with a long creak. Adri stood there in the turnstile, squinting against the sunlight. Their clothes were disheveled, their shoulder-length hair was a tangled mess, and they had dark bags under their eyes. They looked like they hadn't gotten any sleep in days.

The Builder looked between the researcher and the Captain with intense disdain, then turned away and trudged into the dark, unlit void of the house. Merlin followed, notebook in hand. Tentatively, Arlo stepped over the threshold, closing the door behind him.

There wasn't much to the little ramshackle house--four walls, a roof, and a modest wooden bed topped with moth-eaten sheets sat in the corner, nestled beneath a cracked window. The floor groaned under Arlo's boots, and he noticed some floorboards were missing. What little belongings Adri had had been unceremoniously dumped around; even the Builder's clothes that were given to them as a welcoming gift were laying in a crumpled heap at the foot of the bed.

Adri slumped onto the edge of the mattress, crossing their arms over their chest, shoulders hunched as if they were trying to fold into themselves.

"Make this quick," they muttered. Their gaze fell into middle distance, and their expression was blank, unfeeling.

Merlin looked up from her notes. "Yes, well," she began, leafing through some pages. "I'll be asking you a series of questions, you answer as honestly and as thoroughly as you can. Don't spare any details, even if you think they aren't important."

"Okay."

"All right... How are you feeling?"

"Terrible." The answer came out before the question had bothered to finish being asked.

Merlin blinked in mild surprise. "Erm, can you... perhaps be a little more specific? Try to refrain from single-word answers."

At this, Adri's head--and eyes--lolled back, and they heaved an irritated sigh. "Oh, my god, fine--I'm 'fucking terrible'. Is that better?"

Merlin did not look amused. She clicked her tongue. "Right. Moving on, then... Have you been experiencing any unusual physical or mental phenomena? Any short-term memory loss, disassociation, or particularly strange dreams or visions?"

"Oh, yeah... I've definitely been having strange visions lately."

Merlin perked up at this. "Have you? Can you describe these visions?"

"Let's see: some blue-haired bozo in dumb glasses shows up and asks me a bunch of stupid ass questions," Adri replied in a flat monotone, their expression unchanging. "I'm having one right now, in fact."

It took a great deal of effort from Arlo to stifle a chuckle. He was always so used to Merlin being the dry and sarcastic one; it was kind of a nice change of pace watching her get a taste of her own medicine. He could see the researcher's jaw jut forward angrily as she wrote something into her notebook before snapping it shut.

"Ms. Adri," she said, the patience dropping from her voice. She removed her goggles and eyed her interviewee as a parent does when lecturing an unruly child. "I am trying to help you. The very least you could do is take this seriously."

"'Help'...?"

In an instant, Adri's cold, indifferent expression changed. Their eyebrows shot up, disappearing into a thick curtain of dark hair. Merlin and Arlo both were taken aback as they suddenly began laughing--a short, bitter bark of a laugh.

"You're trying to 'help' me?" they sneered, rising from the bed and slowly walking forward. Their fists were clenched so hard they were trembling. "Just like you fucking 'helped' me by dragging my half-dead body back into consciousness, in a completely foreign world, separating me from everything I've ever known and loved by HUNDREDS OF YEARS!? THAT kind of 'help'...?!"

Adri was stopped short by a long arm extending in front of them, shielding Merlin, and they glared daggers up at its owner.

"That's enough," Arlo said, his thick brows furrowed. "I don't want to use force on you, but I will if I have to." Beyond his outstretched arm, Merlin was bracing herself behind her notebook and was staring at Adri with fear and anger in her eyes. Adri scowled.

"Tch. Unbelievable... Treated like a damned experiment and I'm expected to be grateful," they mumbled, looking away. Arlo caught a glimpse of a tear sliding down their face, glinting in the dim light of the window. They crawled back onto the bed and curled up into a ball, facing away from their visitors. "Just leave me alone already."

Arlo sighed, running a hand through his tousled red hair. He looked to Merlin. "We should probably go," he said, quietly. Merlin opened her mouth to interject, but, to Arlo's great relief, decided against it.

"...Very well."

They both turned to leave and Arlo opened the door to allow Merlin through. She strode outside, making a beeline for the front gate without another word, no doubt mentally cursing to herself for having to go back to the Research Center strapped for new data. Once she was far enough away, Arlo looked over his shoulder at the small, vulnerable figure laying there, alone, in the dark. Guilt tugged at the inside of his chest.

Adri heard the front door close with a soft click. A brief pause, and then:

"I know she isn't the best at dealing with people, but you mustn't blame Merlin," Arlo said quietly, his gaze fixed on the wood grain of the door. "It wasn't her idea to bring you back. It was mine."

Silence.

"I was the one who found you in the ice," he explained. "And I was the one who insisted that we help you. If you resent me for that, then that's okay. I accept that. You're well within your right to be angry, and... if you're going to be angry at anyone, you can be angry at me."

More silence. Arlo placed his hand on the door's handle. Just as he opened his mouth to apologize for the trouble and make his leave, he was cut off by the nearly inaudible--but unmistakable--sound of sniffling.

"Why did you have to bring me back...?" Adri whimpered, their voice thick and cracking. "Why didn't you just leave me there...?"

Arlo froze. The statement hung heavily like a yoke on his shoulders, pinning him to the spot. He turned and looked over at Adri helplessly as their body shuddered with silent sobs, unsure of what to do. He wanted so badly to comfort them, but he didn't know if he could... or if he even should. Shit. He knew today's visit probably wouldn't go smoothly, but... he had not been prepared for this.

"I... I felt like I had to," he said, crestfallen. Hesitantly, he walked over and sat at the foot of the bed, allowing as much space between himself and Adri as he could manage. "But... I am sorry. Hate me all you want, but please know that I only ever wanted to give you a chance."

"I never asked for your help," Adri mumbled into their pillow. "I never asked for any of this."

"I know." Arlo rubbed at the back of his neck as his gaze fell to the dusty wooden floor.

Another sniffle. "But... I don't hate you."

Arlo looked up again.

"You don't...?" he asked gently, mild surprise in his voice.

"No," Adri responded, heaving a shaky sigh. "I don't even hate that blue-haired bozo, or really, anybody here. I understand why you went out of your way to help me, but I was probably better off being frozen..."

"What makes you say that?"

"Under any other circumstances I'd be happy to have a second chance," Adri said, wiping tears away from their eyes. "I can't even say that my old life was super fucking great anyway, but... it was mine. Knowing that everything that made my life what it was is just... gone, it--" They trailed off, their voice wavering before letting out another sob.

Arlo said nothing, and he sat there, solemnly, as Adri grieved. After a few minutes, they went quiet again.

"Sorry..." they said, sniffling.

"What for...?"

"For making everyone worry, I guess..." Adri rolled over and sat upright. Their eyes were puffy and red, and their cheeks and nose were shiny with tears and mucus. "After Gale introduced me during the meeting thing, everyone was just so... nice. It was a lot. I didn't know how to deal with that, so I've just been holing up in here all week and feeling sorry for myself... I'm sure they all must think I'm an asshole."

"You're not an arsehole; you're going through a lot," said Arlo. "More than anyone in town could possibly know or even imagine. Yes, Gale is a bit of a worrywort, that's just how he is, but I doubt he's expecting you to seamlessly integrate into society overnight."

"Maybe... but he sure seems to believe that I can just pick up a hammer and magically become a Builder..."

Ah, yes. That. Gale had suggested, in the interest of keeping their origins a secret, that Adri be introduced to the townsfolk as a new Builder to avoid any unnecessary panic or conflict. If word of the truth got out, it could spell all sorts of trouble, not just for Adri, but for Portia, perhaps even for all of the Free Cities. 

"I understand that it's probably a lot to ask of you, especially when you're already dealing with so much," Arlo said. "But, unfortunately, it's a necessary evil, to keep you safe. At least for now."

Adri sighed, running a hand through their long curls. "I know, I know... I'm just having a hard time understanding why you're going through the trouble of doing all of... this in the first place." They gestured vaguely around at the house. "What do you get out of protecting me?"

Arlo blinked, looking visibly confused. "What... do you mean...?"

Adri gave him an incredulous look. "Seriously...? C'mon, man. There are obviously people out there who'd stand to benefit a great deal by me being here, whether, like, academically or monetarily or whatever. ...So what's stopping you from just handing me over to some science lab? Or the government? Why even concern yourselves at all with what happens to me? What am I to you?"

They folded their arms over their knees and looked sullenly out the cracked pane of the window. The cynicism in their voice had left Arlo stunned. He stared, his expression wavering between shock and disbelief before it finally settled on pity.

"You're someone who deserves to live," he said, his voice saddened. "Even if you... believe otherwise." 

Adri sighed again, heavily, their gaze still fixed out the window. Silhouetted by the light outside, their face appeared even more tired and weary than before.

"I'm just some random idiot you found in the ice," they mumbled into their knees, hugging them tighter. "You can tell Gale I'll play along with the Builder shit eventually. Right now, I... just want to be left alone."

Arlo nodded; he knew a hint when he heard one. "Okay," he said, patiently, standing up from the bed, and he turned to leave. Boots thudded across the creaky floor, stopping just before Arlo reached the doorway. He looked over his shoulder.

"Would you... be all right with me coming back tomorrow? To check in on you?" he asked cautiously. "If you'd rather I not, then I understand."

Adri quietly considered this for a moment.

"Yeah... okay."

The Captain gave a confirmatory nod. "I'll see you tomorrow, then," he said, gripping the door's handle. After a beat, he added, "and, uh, I'll make sure not to let the blue-haired bozo tag along this time."

At this, the faintest of smirks flashed across Adri's face as they let out an amused chuff, the closest thing to a genuine laugh Arlo had yet heard from them--and he was more than happy with that. He smiled, said goodbye, and left.

He went to sleep that night feeling... strangely optimistic.

[lunar-years]

i think roy’s the first person jamie’s ever told about his trip to amsterdam, and i know some people think he’s told georgie about it or at least that georgie knows something bad happened. but. now i’m curious about what jamie talked about in his session with doctor sharon. do you think he only went the one time? maybe focused on his dad’s physical/emotional abuse?

on the Amsterdam & Georgie front: I do have an explanation/reasoning for why i don't think he's told Georgie. I was just messaging someone about it yesterday! But in any case I am pretty convinced Roy was indeed the first person Jamie told. (However there's a really good alternative take in the fic I recommended about Jamie and Amsterdam, in which he does tell Georgie and it pans out in a specific way. That's the one argument for him telling Georgie that I've seen so far that really makes sense to me within a canon context, lol)

it is super interesting that you would bring up Jamie and therapy and Dr. Sharon though, because i was genuinely JUST thinking about this!!! I think a fairly common consensus is that the "don't speak to me like that" language we see in the Wembley locker room is a line direct from Dr. Sharon, and/or that Jamie is king of therapy etc. idk...I'm not convinced on either front. I'm not NOT convinced, either. I don't have a super strong opinion on it one way or another because I don't think there's really enough evidence to support either conclusion, but.

I will say, I personally think the one scene we get of Keeley taking Jamie down to Dr. Sharon's office is not enough to indicate Jamie loves therapy and keeps going back. Like, with Colin we get several small lines/details to show he's consistently seeing her, and we do not with Jamie, which is notable I feel. Yeah, he's shown to be all pleased to be talking about himself in the 2 seconds we see after he sits down with her, and it's a funny moment but... it's very superficial. Jamie likes talking about him in a certain surface-level way for sure, but he definitely keeps personal things about himself and his past close to his chest IMO. So to answer your question, yes I think it's a real possibility that he only went that one time.

As for what they spoke about...the reason Keeley brings him down there is very explicitly because he's complaining that no one on the team likes him, and I do thing that's what they discussed. That's also a problem that get resolves in the very same episode, and I'm not sure Jamie would have the self-insight at that point to be like "hmm maybe I should keep going back to therapy so we can dive into my Dad Trauma." Personally, I think when Jamie isn't immediately dealing with his father he is extremely good at putting him out of his mind and telling himself "that doesn't bother me anymore." He strikes me as generally being like, "Oh yeah i'm totally over everything bad that's ever happened to me! It's so not a big deal 🤪" deflection behavior. That is, until something happens that triggers him or he has another encounter with the man and then it's like...actually yeah that problem has never gone away and I've never actually dealt with any of it! So maybe he goes back for a session or two after Wembley, I could definitely see that. But I don't really think he keeps up with it once Dr. Sharon leaves.

I certainly do hope he returns to it after s3 though!

[chameliyun]

20 Q's for Fic Writers

thanks for the tag @spacejammie-eimmajecaps!

How many works do you have on ao3? Officially 8, but I have one on anon and one currently unrevealed in a fic exchange

What's your total ao3 word count? 61,996

What fandoms do you write for? So far I've written for Death Note, Tangled the Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Haikyuu, plus a couple of crossovers. Haikyuu is definitely my main rn though

What are your top five fics by kudos? #1: Frosting and Freckles: 69 (nice) #2: Draw Me Near: 39 #3: [embarrassing anon fic]: 35 #4: Varian Is Not a Wizard: 25 #5: Midnight Coda: 21

Do you respond to comments? Yeah, I love to! I don't get a lot so they always make me happy :)

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? probably the anon fic sdfsk but other than that, Midnight Coda is kinda bittersweet because of what happens later

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? hmm idk but the sappiest is definitely Frosting and Freckles

Do you get hate on fics? Not so far, thankfully! I don't think I have a big enough readership for that haha

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have not; not sure what kind it would be if I did

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I love writing crossovers! A PJO/HP crossover was actually what got me into fanfic. Unfortunately most of them are merely concepts or abandoned (for now), but as for crazy, I think my Lunar Chronicles/PJO one is the craziest in terms of how the plot grew out of control from a simple "what if these two characters interacted" to "I could rewrite most of this series," which is why I got stuck and put it on hiatus lol but I do want to get back to it someday. Maybe once I finish my other active crossover

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge

What's the longest you've spent working on one fic? And the shortest? Uhhh well if we count "working on" as "having it in the back of mind to get to but haven't worked on in months," probably Sent from the Heavens lol. If not, then Varian Is Not a Wizard (just over two years since I published the first chapter). Shortest is definitely Midnight Coda, since I wrote that pretty much in a day iirc

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but it sounds like it could be fun!

What's your all-time favorite ship? From all fandoms? Dude I have no idea how to narrow that down. Best I can give you is my current fave is Tsukkiyama from Haikyuu

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Probably my "Leo Valdez ends up in the ATLA world" one :sob: It never made it past the word doc and about three pages of story and I haven't looked at it in like two years

What are your writing strengths? I like to think I'm pretty good at dialogue and grammar/spelling

What are your writing weaknesses? Everything else (jk). I am awful at describing scenes/settings; I get bored writing them so I don't put as much effort in as I should haha. I also tend to ramble and use passive voice too much

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I haven't done it, but I think it's fine as long as it fits the context

First fandom you wrote for? Published: Avatar: The Last Airbender. Unpublished: Percy Jackson

Favorite fic you've written? I think it's still Bent Out of Shape. It's so niche, but I had an idea and I executed it, and I'm proud of what I accomplished. Although once I finish Varian Is Not a Wizard, that might take the top slot.

No-pressure tagging: @supermarine-silvally @starrynightarchive @litterateur97 @palant1r @soreiya @lilac-writes @oloreandil @kandybarkreepshow @ellegamgee and anyone else who wants to!

[wetcatspellcaster]

general 2, story 4 and 7, and romance 4 for rosalie for the companion!tav asks!

Hey lovely, thank you for asking!!! <3

2. Do the other companions have special comments or reactions upon recruiting your Tav?

Not to be predictable, but Rosalie would absolutely be found crying over something she just killed, so it would be something as follows:

Astarion: do you think she's going to snivel all the way to camp?

Lae'zel: I am unsure what about this encounter recommends her as a worthwhile ally. I hope you are do not continue to be inclined to charity.

Karlach: that's... a lot of pink.

Shadowheart (in the throes of a Nocturne flashback): hmm. There's something familiar about you, but I can't put my finger on what.

4. How do they react to the PC letting Abdirak whip them? (omg I didn't see this was a question I'm dying)

Rosalie: Seems like a worthwhile exercise in religious autoethnography, I'll just... turn and look at this very fascinating wall, and hum. Loudly. (*if flirted with, absolutely gets called out by another companion for taking a peek over her shoulder around CON save no.3*)

7. What can they be found doing at the tiefling/goblin party?

I could not think of something that doesn't step on another companions toes, so I think she's honestly just shitfaced. It would be the first time the PC didn't see her being all prim and proper so she'd just be slurring words and mixing up verbs and overexplaining tiefling revel customs. There would be a persuasion check to either get her to slow down or a persuasion check to get her even more fucked up and if she gets even more fucked up she gives the PC a hug then passes out on their shoulder.

Goblin party... I think she wouldn't be a companion who leaves the party, even though she's good aligned, so you probably find her just as drunk but crying by the lakeshore, and there's a conversation about how maybe she should prioritise reason over emotion if she wants to survive (oh my god, I've just realised her evil ending is volunteering to become the mindflayer over the course of extrapolating that out, HAHAHAHA KILL ME).

4. Do they have a special romance scene at the tiefling/goblin party.

Based on what I wrote above, it is absolutely just her drunkenly hitting on the PC without any fucking finesse. Like, just as awkward as Gale, but with Halsin levels of horny on top. Ends in a "I like you, we should do something about that! Like right now! Please?" (PC gets an insight check that if they pass suggests there's 'something beyond alcohol' making her feel reckless, and there is an option to politely turn her down 'until maybe you're sober and not propositioning two of me', to which she replies defensively 'I can totally handle a threesome!')

Companion!Tav ask list

[mlobsters]

supernatural s5e16 dark side of the moon (w. andrew dabb, daniel loflin)

not knockin' on heaven's door 😥 this song breaks my heart already from how they used it in this scene:

s2e13 houses of the holy

SAM I don't know, Dean, I just, uh ... I wanted to believe ... so badly, ah ... It's so damn hard to do this, what we do. You're all alone, you know? And ... there's so much evil out there in the world, Dean, I feel like I could drown in it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up ... DEAN Yeah, well, don't worry about that. All right? I'm watching out for you. SAM Yeah, I know you are. But you're just one person, Dean. And I needed to think that there was something else, watching too, you know? Some higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe ... DEAN Maybe what? SAM Maybe I could be saved.

there's a reason i've only read a couple post-series set in heaven fics. emotional damage.

like jabbing every emotional soft spot i have with a stick

DEAN It’s okay, Mom. Dad still loves you. I love you, too. I’ll never leave you.

MARY You are my little angel. How 'bout some pie? Okay.

DEAN What?

SAM I just never realized how long you’ve been cleaning up Dad’s messes.

jfc dude. so sam's first memory is thanksgiving with some random girl's family, then his second is running away? guess we're poking dean's soft spots with a pointy stick too

DEAN Is this Flagstaff?

SAM Yeah. (He pets Bones.) Hey, boy.

DEAN This is a good memory for you?

SAM Yeah. I mean, I was on my own for two weeks. I lived on Funyuns and Mr. Pibb.

DEAN Wow.

SAM What?

DEAN Well, you don’t remember, do you? You ran away on my watch. I looked everywhere for you. I thought you were dead. And when Dad came home…

SAM Dean, look, I’m sorry. I never thought about it like that.

i didn't think it was possible for an episode to make me cry as much as that djinn episode but hey they did it. good job. what the fuck

DEAN Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This? This is the night you ditched us for Stanford, isn’t it? This is your idea of heaven? Wow. This was one of the worst nights of my life.

okay so. is this a plot point, someone trying to drive a wedge between them or something. because this is fucking awful.

DEAN C’mon! Your heaven is somebody else’s Thanksgiving. Okay. It’s bailing on your family. What do you want me to say?

fucking AWFUL.

latest thing i read in fic first and thought there was no way it was canon. soulmates.

ASH Mm-hmm. Yeah. See you got Winchesterland. Ashland. A whole mess of everybody-else-lands. Put them all together: heaven. Right? At the center of it all? Is the Magic Kingdom. The Garden.

DEAN So everybody gets a little slice of paradise.

ASH Pretty much. A few people share—special cases. What not.

DEAN What do you mean ‘special’?

ASH Aw, you know. Like, uh, soulmates. Anyway. Most people can’t leave their own private Idaho’s.

i missed ash. he was a fun character and his actor did a great job bringing him to life

ASH This ain’t the first time here. I mean, you boys die more than anyone I’ve ever met.

DEAN Really.

ASH Ah, yeah… you don’t remember. God! Angels. Must’ve Windexed your brain.

i'd always wondered about that, all those times they died before, what happened before they were revived.

my pamela. glad to see her too. little wary of the soft sell on saying yes to michael though

DEAN So he’s just going to sit back and watch the world burn?

JOSHUA I know how important this was to you, Dean. I’m sorry.

DEAN Forget it. Just another dead-beat dad with a bunch of excuses, right. I’m used to that. I’ll muddle through.

JOSHUA Except… you don’t know if you can, this time. You can’t kill the Devil, and you’re losing faith, in yourself, your brother, and now this?

a) whenever dean talks shit about dad i'm like DAMN STRAIGHT b) hopeless dean makes a self destructive dean, can we not again, please

great. cas is a hopeless mess too.

SAM We’ll find another way. We can still stop all this, Dean.

DEAN How?

SAM I don’t know, but we’ll find it. You and me, we’ll find it.

that was one thing i did look up in future seasons because i'd seen so much samulet fix-it fic. i always thought he tossed it in some random public trash, but this makes it even easier for sam to just pocket it.

Mama take this badge off of me I can't use it anymore It's getting dark, too dark to see I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Mama put my guns in the ground I can't shoot them anymore That long black cloud is comin' down I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door

[coeursetcolores]

What I Would Add To/Change About: OneeChanbara ORIGIN

...It has been a while.

I'm starting to think I finish games slowly...Oh well!

On the 5th of December, in the year 2019, we got a remake of quite a rather underappreciated series' first two outings: Oneechanbara! AKA, the zombie bikini game.

BUT THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN THAT! DON'T CHANGE THE PAGE!

Are there scantily clad ladies getting covered in blood as they kill zombies? Yes.

Is there a story of two separated sisters fighting to restore their family while combatting the forces that fractured their home as a clone woman uses obsession to distract herself from her existential crisis? Also yes.

I know that sounds spoilery, but the originals came out in the early 2000s so I don't feel that bad.

Why I am saying all this in the intro? Let's slice our way to the good part!

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Up first are all the reasons this tropetastic fanservice fest is something I'm too proud to call a guilty pleasure!

Aya and Saki's relationship. It develops faster than it realistically should but I can't bring myself to care that much. They care about each other, they fight with each other and resolve to overcome tradition together. After clearing up the misunderstandings (and having one of the sweetest hugs I've seen in gaming so far), you can really see how much Saki looks up to Aya and just wants to spend time with her. And Aya is quick to praise Saki and make her feel good about herself, knowing that she needs it. Though they're not above messing with each other; Saki teasing Aya leads to some of the funniest parts of the game and could probably seem relatable to someone with a younger sibling. Watching them talk about their lives away from each other, bond throughout their adventure and walk off at the end, after everything they go through is the real highlight of the game.

Aya is just a fun protagonist: She's strong, confident, witty and a total goofball when she needs to be. A bit standard when it comes to character development, but still fun to follow.

Simple gameplay! Just switch your weapons when they get too bloody and go! Switch characters if you need to! You don't get it, sometimes my brain needs a break from strategizing!

Music keeps me up and going while I'm killing zombies! Unbreakable Trust is a song I could keep on loop for hours and Ai ha kimi no mono is exactly the kind of song you need to keep yourself energized when facing down the kind of final boss this game gives you!

The designs are great! The features are beautiful and the outfits are perfectly updated!

Punching people as Saki is just fun.

The ending is perfectly fitting and gives a bittersweet end to the story. It was sad but also hopeful.

Okay, now to move onto some things I feel would make a great addition to the game!

ADD:

The game's too short, needs more levels to flesh things out. Development happened too fast and a lot of things went unexplored. Hmm...Seems to be a reoccurring thing in hack n' slashes.

SHOW AYA AND SAKI'S MOTHER! With how they talk about her, you would think we'd get something.

More scenes with Eva to help give the players an idea of what she's actually planning on doing would be nice (I know there's DLC, but this kind of stuff you put in the game)!

Oboro levels, maybe?

And now, let's wrap this all up with what really needs to be rebooted!

CHANGE:

Let Aya use some critical thinking and notice all the red flags about Lei! Seriously, it was so obvious!

Trying to work with countering was a nightmare. Just let me slash things.

BEING. GIANT. DOES. NOT. MEAN. YOU. HAVE. TO. BE. A. DAMAGE. SPONGE!

Make Berserk and Xtatic forms player-decided? It is way harder than it seems to keep an Xtatic sister alive! Plus, you see they can control it in the cutscenes! Come on!

And that's about it! OneeChanbara ORIGIN is a fun game that I highly recommend!

Here's to a sequel! Keep your blades crossed!

See you next time!

[angst-is-love-angst-is-life]

B, N and T for the ask game and with the Flash fandom :))

Yay!!! Thank you for the ask! (for my favorite fandom no less🥹) and sry I took a bit to get to this.

Time for my ✨silly little ramblings✨™️

B “A pairing-platonic, romantic or sexual-that you initially didn't consider, but someone changed your mind” : Ooooooo, this is a good one. Well I’m not a big shipper naturally tbh, unless I see undeniable chemistry and/or suggestive scenes between characters, I’m probably just going to ship what was canon— that was until I fully entered tumblr and related fandom spaces. Now I see ships everywhere. Especially with Ao3.

Ao3 has made me ship soooo many ships, the OG being Superarrow/Kariver

More recently tho: Coldflash (my current OTP), Snowest, Hartmon, and I personally prefer them as platonic but I definitely support them as a ship— Barrisco

Also as much as I hate to admit it— I understand Eobarry and why people ship it (One sidedly it’s basically canon) but I still do not like it and definitely don’t ship it. (Ok but how tf could it ever be two sided guys— it’s also creepy af) nvm I’m not jumping into that rabbit hole today.

N “Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)” : Hmm— does more fanfiction count?💀 Ok ok, three things let’s seeeee

1: More merchandise. I finally have a STAR labs sweatshirt and it is one of my most treasured possessions— but I wish there was more options, I wish we could get Ciscos vibe glasses or smth like that (I know we can on ebay and stuff, but it’d be nice if the CW or WB put in merch effort) Ah. The pain of smaller fandoms (and I say this in relation to my other big fandoms being Star Wars and the MCU)

2: Less discourse/hate. I’ve calibrated my space here on tumblr to be on the positive side of the fandom but I remember when I couldn’t look at comment sections without seeing at least 10 hate comments (from other fans may I add). Idk maybe it’s not as bad now. I also notice this was primarily around the topic of shipping; specifically around Westallen vs Snowbarry, I saw some pretty bad stuff on both sides. Personally I just believe in ship and let ship. If you don’t like a ship then that’s fine; but don’t attack the people who do. But like I said; maybe it’s not as bad now. (Sry that was a long one lol)

3: M o r e w h u m p— including taking place in later seasons; 9x4 has so much potential and I really want someone to take advantage of it (I say, knowing full well that I could write it— I can’t though; The Bad Ending is taking up all of my writing time/energy)

Either way; whumpers I love you and I hope more of you find this fandom

T “Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?” :

*Rubs hand together* Oh do I— it’s ramble time

Now as a fanfiction writer, I have to have headcanons; it’s how I make the story and characters work while giving them extra depth. Naturally however; it’s not something I would usually think of outside of that. I have created the most fanfictions for this fandom by far (It was also the first media I ever wrote it for) so naturally I indeed have headcanons that will make their way into my fics.

Oliver trained Team Flash in hand to hand combat Now this one is less of a headcanon and more something I wish happened— cause where tf did they get their training from?? Maybe I’m missing/forgetting something and if so sry my bad— but this seems like something that absolutely could’ve happened. (I’m not counting superhero fight club as canon btw; as fun as it is)

Everyone goes to therapy

Gods this one is more wishful thinking than anything else— I’ll never forgive the CW for having Barry and Iris take couples therapy when what they both need is therapy therapy. The number of life threatening scenarios the entirety of Team Flash has gone through is more than enough to warrant therapy (and some form of PTSD but that’s a whole nother topic). The only possible exception I would make is Barry, because it would not surprise me at all if Joe had him go as a kid and the therapist didn’t believe him about the man in yellow just like everyone else; plenty of people have bad experiences with therapy that make them not want to go and that’s completely understandable.

Team Flash has movie night

You can’t look me in the eye and tell me they don’t.

Barry has claustrophobia

Nothing to support this really, but hey— that’s why it’s a headcanon

Also I have sexuality headcanons for most characters but I’ll do those another time.

Sweet! This was so fun and again; thank you for the ask!!! Sorry that it was so long but I had a lot of fun :-D

[ibitsunahaato]

Beyond the Imaginary 1

Time: Next day

Location: In the Hanging Gardens of ES.

Hiiro: …

Tatsumi: Is the weather not splendid today, Hiiro-san? However, the way you are looking up at the sky… Could the unusual listlessness be due to homesickness?

Even at Seisou Halls, there are individuals who have found time in their schedules to return home. Has it not been half a year since Hiiro-san visited home?

Hiiro: …Yes. But I had remotely exchanged greetings with my hometown along with Nii-san. If I were to think of a reason, I’d say that it is absentmindedness since SS is over.

Tatsumi: Hmm. Could it be burnout syndrome due to SS? Now that I think about it, I have also been feeling a bit languid since the beginning of the new year.

cannot say for sure whether it is the fatigue from SS or the sluggishness after New Year’s but… It is indeed quite peaceful now that we have run past the year-end busyness.

Hiiro: Fufu. Sluggishness after New Year’s? Tatsumi-senpai also experiences such things?

But the last two months were definitely dense with work even though it was a short period. Because of that, it feels like the neighbourhood’s scenery has completely changed as a result of SS.

It was like looking straight at a dazzling ray of light… That kind of feeling—Like realising that the pinnacle of idols is still very far away.

Hiiro: And the joint appearance of the supreme commanders—fine and Eden, seemed like it had swallowed the entire SS venue into a whirlpool of excitement and emotions. I could really feel the magnificence and beauty.

Tatsumi: Yes, I understand.

If I am to be honest, I still wonder whether the scene I saw that day was a dream after all.

Since I had once given up hope on my idol life due to injury, I could not have even imagined standing under the spotlight like that again.

Performing together with Crazy:B was also very enjoyable. Now let us rest a bit and go back to that stage after we level up more than last time.

Hiiro: Yes, Tatsumi-senpai is right. We are still seen as a new unit but I want to work hard in order to be able to take greater strides this year.

Aira: Argh, I’m super late~!

Did I make it?! I did not?! …Exactly one o’clock—Barely made it!

Hiiro: Aira does not change even with the new year. Since this is not for work, I don’t think anyone will reproach you even if you are a few seconds late?

Tatsumi: Hiiro-san, I am sure Aira-san could not allow himself to be late because he was the one pushing himself to keep strictly to the time we decided on.

Since today is ALKALOID’s first meeting of the year, after all.

Aira: Yeah! Since we’re newbies, ALKALOID wasn’t invited to many New Year’s programmes but…

On the other hand, this might be our last chance to enjoy the new year in a private way.

We need to increase our activities so that next year, our schedule book is filled with jobs ♪

Hiiro:Umu[1]. If you are talking about starting the new year privately, did we not visit the shrine together after SS? Did Aira see that as work?

Aira: I’m saying that it doesn’t… NVM[2]. Stop finding faults this early in the year.

Hiiro: Umu. I wonder what “NVM” means. I would like you to explain in detail.

Aira: Oh, c’mon. I don’t wanna be put in a bad mood at the very beginning of the year because of Hiro-kun… I’ll explain later so just shut up for a while!

More importantly, I can’t see Mayo-san anywhere… Did he get the meeting place wrong?

It’s rare to be contacted by Mayo-san asking for all four of us—ALKALOID—to gather. Since he’s not used to HoldHands, maybe he got it wrong or something?

Tatsumi: It had never crossed my mind that Mayoi-san would be late since he just set up the meeting but… We do not know whether some kind of unforeseen circumstances might have happened on his way here.

…Oh? What is this…sound…?

Is that…a radio controlled…?

Aira: Nope, that’s a drone!

Hiiro: Radio controlled? Drone…?

Aira: Um… Drones are toys that can be controlled using a program but if a person nearby is controlling it, then it’s radio controlled… Kinda like that…?

Hiiro: Umu. Both are words unfamiliar to my ears. Are they like small airplanes?

Aira: Yeah, that’s why it’s not the time for explaining every single thing to Hiro-kun! Why is a drone flying around…?

Ah, maybe it’s gonna start shooting something?

Woah! Aerial photography from a drone is gonna be super cool, right?♪ If you’re fine with me, I’ll show you whatever you want!

Tatsumi: Hmm. Aerial photography? For that matter, the camera is moving in a way that its aim is only on us.

In any case, communication is most crucial. Shall we face the drone and try to hold a conversation?

Hello, dear pilot of the drone! What on earth could this be?

If there is any business you have with us, please let us meet face-to-face and talk!

Sora: HaHa~♪ Did you call Sora?

Aira: Huh… HUH?! Did Harukawa-senpai just come out of the drone—NO, he’s floating?!

Can you all see him too? No, wait! I’m too scared to hear the answer so just wait a sec!

Maybe I’m seeing things since I’ve been working with Harukawa-senpai a lot lately…

Hiiro: Don’t get so upset, Aira. I can see him as well.

I do not understand the mechanism behind it but I cannot feel his presence. I can understand that the person himself is not there.

Sora: HiHi~♪ Excellent reasoning! Actually, the Sora here is a hologram and he was watching the situation from afar!

Hello! Good afternoon, everyone from ALKALOID! Sora is here to request a job from you!

Hiiro: Umu. We are always accepting work but…

Before that, please tell us. Why is Sora-kun here?

Tatsumi: Indeed, we could have taken it as a coincidence, but your appearance was carefully planned, was it not?

We were summoned here by Mayoi-san’s message on HoldHands. Then why is it that instead of Mayoi-san, Sora-san has appeared—

Sora: HuHu~♪ That is because Shisho~…

Oops, since Sora is the project's host, he can’t talk about the things that have been decided.

Murky Onii~san is in a different place! If you cooperate with our work, Sora will tell you the place~♪

Aira: Um. This “work”—What kind of work is it? We were called in such an oddly elaborate way… I’m getting bad vibes…

There’s no way that Harukawa-senpai can request us to do something dangerous, right?

Sora: That is for you all to accept and see!—If Sora were to say that, you’d be put on guard so maybe Sora shall reveal just a little information~?

This is a special job that only ALKALOID can complete!

We shall make you the passengers of the Phantom Airship~☆

Aira: Phantom Airship…?

Writer: Kino Seitarou

← previous ✦ story masterlist ✦ next →

JP Proofing: nazunyan427 ✦ EN Proofing: Clyde

Hiiro sometimes uses ウム (Umu), a super cute way of agreeing/noticing/remembering something depending on context.

In the original text, Aira uses ノーカン (noukan) here which is slang for “it does not count”. Hiiro is obviously unfamiliar with it and asks for an explanation. I tried to mimic the situation in English with NVM standing for “never mind”.

[justanechoflower-ddlc]

(I can see why… it is such a shame. Maybe it’s the text after all, or maybe it’s the lack of interest in a crossover between these two canons? Hmm…)

(I’m hoping my recap might help with some of the issue, replacing a whole bunch of text with just one bit. If only I could make images show on here without things bugging like they did when I tried to make a poem visually show up on the old blog. Then again, the amount of content would probably break the file size limit if it was all done in the program I use for visuals. (Though who knows, maybe it’s just the new blog format that Tumblr makes new blogs like this one use.))

(Hm, maybe I can work on adapting some of the key scenes into visual format, and then link to where those scenes are? It’d be from Flowey’s POV since I can’t show him, of course. We did get confirmation most of those are canon-compatible, maybe I can bring my reporter character back to the main blog report on this development, now we have real footage of some of that lost time, since it was alluded to before in a previous appearance of the reporter. While of course making it clear this doesn’t necessarily mean all FUTURE content on here is canon, just because everything that happened here so far is compatible doesn’t mean mistakes won’t happen in the future (or, in-universe, the person making the footage faking things) I’ll do my best to avoid contradicting anything, and you can review things later on like you mentioned a while back.)

(Hopefully that should boost things. If not, and we can’t keep this going, maybe we’ll just do what we already would have done if it was discovered something in here broke canon-Where we simply go over a broad overview of what happened in here, so that this arc is still “finished” in a way. If my reporter character ever reports on THAT, it’ll probably be interpreted as the whatever was being used to make the footage breaking, and the rest being this source giving a written account of what else happened)

(For those of you who wanted more of the backstory, well, I may return to it, but it’s now no longer a regular update anymore. There has been one since the post I gave before happened, though, on schedule like I said would happen. But now, I might just shift my attention to visually adapting scenes that happened on this blog.)

(If I ever adapt the old blog (probably the last thing I’d adapt), then during Monika’s time in Flowey’s world, I plan on using the Overworld tool made by the same person that made the Undertale Text Box Generator. This also means you’ll see Monika in Undertale’s style. But that’s far off in the future, this side blog is the one I’m trying to boost after all.)

(Any ideas on what moments would be best to adapt first? What should be highlighted in a potential report on the CONFIRMED footage of Flowey’s time in this other world? What might get enough people curious on what else happened in here to want to check out the blog? Or, alternatively, if the issue is people not being able to keep up.. what set of scenes would be enough to set the stage so everyone is on the same page..?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(I think I can transfer your files into pictures that can be shown directly on tumblr. I just have to take screenshots of the frames, edit them so they are assembled into comic strips, take a picture of that, and then put it on tumblr!

(You can technically do that too, but I personally have bad experiences with submitting multiple photos at once onto blogs. The images typically get jumbled out of order.

(If the visual boosts don't work, I doubt I'm going to feel much more motivated to continue, so it'd probably be best to end the arc like you said. We'd still have Monika and Flowey interactions- just not on this blog. Even if we do end up returning to the main blog, I agree to either keep using visual representations or to cut down on text so that nothing gets clogged.

(Trust me, I love reading the effort you put into these posts, but many viewers lose interest quickly.

(The scenes I think we should highlight in visual format should include:

*Convincing Monika to go back to the club

*Flowey entering w/ Monika & Sayori for the first time

*Poems day 1

*Girls comforting Sayori about her sad poem

*Natsuki/Flowey challenge to baking competition

*I void planning how to reveal truth to girls

*Sayori wanting to code Ivan back & Flowey wanting to get Chara back

*Preparing to go to Monika's house

[bykalopsia]

ryuki eps 42-50 notes & final impressions

(note that i probably am not getting around to any of the supplementary content any time soon bc 1) there are so many 2) i'm iffy on alternate endings in the first place 3) the ones that aren't that are crossovers so i'm not watching them until i get there [which won't be for months even if i keep the pace i've been going at & 4) i'm a little burnt out on ryuki and am excited to start faiz])

the way sano just hops around while his final vent goes off and all the antelopes(?) charge is so cute

sano overall is just great. love it when a guy has no principles whatsoever.

love ren, kitaoka, and asakura taking the serendipitous occurrence of them all meeting in room 401 after tojo and the professor had moved out to sit down and go "we hate you you're stupid go kill yourself give us 5,000 dollars" to shinji. he is very stupid though god bless him

one thing i find very funny is that despite asakura being asakura he's actually pretty courteous about the game. like he very well could be (and probably would fare better if he was?) attacking people outside of the mirror world but he just shows up and acts off-putting and strange until they transform. (like he actually reads sano's business card even though he interrupted his tojo-ran-away temper tantrum?) i guess this is why he's shiro's little attack dog he's just really about being a Proper Rider.

also i'm really bad at looking at significant injuries so when tojo jumped into like that water runoff ditch (?) and it looked like something happened to his arm i got so nauseous lol. i don't think he actually got hurt bc it doesn't seem he's injured in his following scenes but still ;;;;;;;

also tojo is so Interesting to me!!!!!!!!!! (this is the millionth time i've said this) i wish i knew where in the metamorphosis he was at so i could possibly make connections. the strength of his heroic ideal and how he's carving parts of his life out (literally, by killing people lol) in order to fit in that very twisted definition yet still failing (both because it is something that is forced on his part And for the unlucky fact that other riders are just stronger than him)

ep 44 don't fucking talk to me. literally the second tojo went "you're the first person to be nice to me since the professor" my fucking stomach dropped (tbh i should have known since sano brought tojo to his apartment in the first place but w/e) that he'd fucking kill him but AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

pain and fucking suffering why are all my favorites DOOMED it's literally a curse.

idk if i were tojo i'd start beating asakura with hammers that's just me though (maybe everyone's just courteous about only fighting in the mirror world bc it's a kids show.... hmm much to think about)

"i have to be the one who killed sano" please fucking hit me with a truck it'd be less painful. tojo there is something so wrong with you you are literally the best <3

also after kitaoka told him there was no way he could ever be a hero he did like a 1:1 gills scream motion which is really funny bc they don't share a suit actor

ren clocking shinji with the "has your indecision ever helped a single person" GET HIS ASS!!!!!!! but also STOP IT!!!!! bc while i really don't see a point where pacifism is successfully getting anyone out of anywhere rn (atp in ep 46 at least) it makes me feel so bad about tezuka i'm going to hurl

the way tojo died was lame though L. thematically necessary but lame. (i'm just bitter bc i wanted him to also start hallucinating sano i'm sorry my goggles are on... also i just wanted him to spiral more the car bomb was a great step i wanted it to keep happening.... i get that asakura gets to stay around bc he's shiro's little meow meow but who says we couldn't have had two maniacs until the end [logical reasoning does. who said that])

i've realized in my notes/lb i haven't talked about kitaoka's illness a bunch (because thinking about it makes me So Miserable) but seriously if they had stayed in the scene after ren tells kitaoka he's disqualified it would have been my breaking point for Ryuki Crying (i'm surprised i've lasted this long but tbh ryuki to me inspires an intense hollowness in one's gut that leaves you sitting kind of hunched over staring slack-jawed at your screen like you just got punched rather than like bawling my eyes out) but no we have to immediately cut to asakura fighting the weird blue artificial monsters i don't necessarily understand the significance of? i get that there's generally some obligation for there to be monster fighting in each episode but most of the time i feel like it's such a time waster......

^this is maybe my largest criticism of ryuki? that there's So Much that it very often doesn't sit with itself bc it doesn't have the time to. and i LOVE to sit with a scene so it's just unfortunate. give me time to think!!!

episode 49 should i kms yes/no?

shiro and yui. it's so over. it's so over. it's so over. the way his voice changed as he begged her not to disappear it's so over.

before Everything Started happening i said and i quote "it'd be slay if they let ren win lmao" to make myself laugh bc i had just been released from the Doomed Siblings Pain and Horror Vortex. and then the police started preparing to assassinate asakura and i went pause. and then kitaoka is still slowly dying (i literally can't talk about it pleaseeeeeee just let it happen so this can stop torturing me PLEASEEEEEE) AND THEN SHINJI DIED. SO.

i don't even want to think about anything anymore. i need to excise this show from my brain so i can be normal i can't do this

okay. i fucking bawled all throughout the back half of 50. YOU GOT MEEEEE YOU FINALLY BROKE ME!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS

i literally can't talk about it bc if i start crying again i think i'm literally going to puke i was heaving

um. anyways. good show. i need to go lay down. maybe forever?

[rubywithin]

World of Whim 10

I don't know how much time had passed.....Nezumi put some blind fold on me! I heard a few different voices come and go so I guess she is hiding who she is working with. I can't even tell if she is here or not....I then heard someone show up. (???) "I have finished up adding some blockades, may I ask why you wanted them set up?". I wish I knew who this guy was....if I could hear one of his songs then maybe I could tell. (Nezumi) "Simple to force her allies to fight their way over here. Those two failures from before tried taking them on alone and failed, personally I plan on wearing them out first!". Darn it, if only I could inform Ruby and Kazuya! (???) "I see, need me to hang around?" (Nezumi) "Nah I should be able to beat the duo on my own plus you have a concert with Reaper to prepare for!" I heard one of them walk off..."Don't worry I won't hurt you I just want to take out the pair who helped you out!".

-The next day at school Ruby brought in a folder of pictures- I wanted to make a case to the student council president. I am sure if we show them a bit of commitment they will at least consider letting us start a club despite the limited members. (Boy) "Hey Ruby how is the club members search going?" (Ruby) "Pretty good haha, we have 3 and a potential 4th so far and a tonne of pictures!". I showed him all the pictures, he seemed to admire the different scenes we were able to capture. As we arrived at class Melanie was getting shouted at probably due to the class skipping yesterday. Today class felt slower due to how I just wanted to get to a break time to get an appointment with the student president! -Ding Dong- Phew finally we can go and make our case....suddenly Melanie grabbed my arm!

(Kazuya) "Hey what are you doing?" she didn't seem like she was being aggressive so I got Kazuya to back down! (Melanie) "Sorry for this....I um saw Maria get attacked at the park last night!". (Ruby) "Are you being serious? was it a guy with a sword?" (Melanie) "No...it was aaaaagh an a..a...arrow". Why was she in so much pain as she said this...is this what happens when someone witnesses the mysterious powers of this world? (Ruby) "I think we should go help her" the issue was we still hadn't trained....not to mention we hadn't tried making our case to the student council. (Ryuto) "Hmm are those pictures for our club?" I nodded, "Then how about I go make the case then, a senior such as myself may be more influencing to them. Just be careful out there" (Ruby) "Thank you Ryuto, we will try our best" I handed him the pictures and left!

Me and Melanie made our way over to the park while Kazuya went over to my place to get Naoh! He was faster than me and knew where I lived not to mention I was yet to visit this park so needed Melanie to show me how to get there. As we arrived the place was full of people...it looked like certain paths were being barricaded. (Ruby) "Was it like this when you were here before?" (Melanie) "It was being set up....why is this happening?" (Ruby) "It's hard to explain, you can leave if you want but if you come with us stay out of danger". She looked confused but I had an idea of how she felt, after a bit Kazuya and Naoh joined us. There was no time for explanations so we just walked into the park and then! (Music) "La la laaaaa la la" at this point I knew what came next everyone started to transform....Melanie didn't though!

[witchboyjimin]

Tumblr please behave and send this ask and the following nicely please please thank you 🙏🏻

Great, now that the Tumblr Gods have hopefully been appeased, let me get onto this message by wildly applauding you for writing 6k words!! Super super good given how much of a headache writing has been for you recently ��

Also [my most frequently used word in my messages to you I get the impression lmao] excuse me Nav but the answer to my question? The snippet of text you posted? The sheer richness in images of that text? I love love love it, i love it when language conjures up a scenery in your head and dang you did that artfully there 😍 I wonder- do you tinker around on those parts of writing and reshape what you've writing or is it a free-flowing process for you where you don't revise much?

And if you could have dinner with a person or two, who would you pick and what would you cook/order? Unless this is too personal a question of course <<

AND OMG NAV you- your last message about ILHDYS was so kind and your offer of sharing the progress too omg. First and foremost, I'm honoured shhshrhskaldjdj 😭 and i do love ILHDYS a lot. It combines many factors that, in a fic, are spot on for me and that i love to read. I did mention this in an earlier ask I think but i so ardently love reading drama as well as hurt/comfort in a fic and the way you placed that in ILHDYS is simply so satisfying for me to read. Even its conflict based on miscommunication isn't sth that makes my eyes roll into the back of my head here like it often does when it's used as a tool to create negative friction. It creates just the right amount of argument that it works in this setting. And it did become one of my go to comfort fics over time that i keep returning to regularly. I get what you describe, that feeling of looking at one's old fics and seeing ways to possibly recreate parts of it. And i am curious what you'd change if you could (if this is at all sth you'd indulge in talking about of course). But looking at my old fic, for me, also means i can see the progress I've made even though I'm not actively writing these days.

I'm hoping you're doing okay! I'm sending kisses back :)

- cabin anon ✨

im crying YOUR PRAYER WORKED!!! and thank you so much hehe!! im pretty happy i managed to hit 6k, too. especially given how hard it is to a) write and b) find time to write TTT

thank you my darling!! i think that's a line that just came to me and i wrote it out and liked it just as is. sometimes, you do have to go back and tinker with a line because you know it could pack more of a punch/could be more succinct but other times, the line just comes to you and you're happy with it as is. this was def one of those times!! thank you so much for your kind words crying emoji x 1000000

i would love to have dinner with you kekekeke hmm, you'll have to tell me if you have any allergies and then we can order in whatever your fav food is! i'm a medicore cook so i wouldn't put you through the ordeal of my cooking hjdsbsj

i absolutely agree! i think you can definitely see the progress you've made and it's nice to see your writing improve. i think with ilhdys, it could be a tighter fic, like some of the scenes are over-indulgent and run too long but then i think, the readers really love the fluff lololol i think the other thing i'd change is i'd want the stakes to be higher or at the very least, i'd want to jeongguk and jimin to maybe be a little nastier to each other cause i think in real life, people are. but at the same time, i understand that ilhdys is a comfort read and the way it's set up, it's meant to be low stakes. i'm so very glad that you love ilhdys so much and that it can be a comfort read to you. honestly, i feel like you've single-handedly given me back a lot of my confidence with writing. when i doubt myself these days i'm like...it's okay cabin anonie ✨ believes in you. i am so so so so so very grateful to you. thank you so much 💛💛💛💛💛💛 and the offer very much still stands! if you ever want to read the fic, let me know! if you want to stay anon, we can figure out some way to keep it that way.

makes a heart over my head pls take care of yourself! and sending you lots of love chu~