#how do I tag this. probs not in the official tag right

[briar-rolfes-research-oubliette]

ON MONDAY, I (FINALLY) MADE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE NEWEST ERAGON BOOK!

MURTAGH

“A Book I Read”

It took three very patient friends of mine to encourage me to finish reading this. I took notes the whole way through, and I am now sharing those in hope of finding loving community with my fellow haters.

Important context:

I loved Eragon, which came out when I was roughly eleven

Christopher Paolini was the first author to ever disappoint me

I used to love epic fantasy, until feminism, coming out, and learning about literary criticism made me just too mean to enjoy it

Since 2015, whenever I’ve had writer’s block, I’ve found inspiration by looking at this screenshot:

Christopher has managed to create a life where his mum has never stopped doing his laundry or his editing for him. He has never worked a job in his life. He has infinite time to work on his craft, and yet, with all of those advantages, he writes the way he does. I don’t hate him, but I do want to destroy him in single combat.

LET US BEGIN.

17 November 2023

I forgot how obsessed this man is with proving he knows rare words. Picking up my phone to google the word “trenchant”.

He really just didn’t want to say the dragon had a sharp sense of humour huh? Oh, no, it’s TRENCHANT. It wasn’t even for dialogue I identified as comedy but Murtagh thought it was TRENCHANT. He and Thorn have been alone in the wilderness for too long

NOT NASUADA BEING DESCRIBED AS HAVING ALMOND EYES

Of course the protagonist has grown a beard. He’s A Man Now.

I have a theory that this book is about coming to terms with marriage. Murtagh is like “our bond… our bond that lasts until death… the oldest magic… only the two of us understand each other. But, we’re also trapped with each other,” and I’m like hm. Fascinating. Say more

Instantly Murt befriends a child, to prove he is good really.

It’s so weird to read a book by a grown man with kids who is like “how did we all start out so innocent and pure…” like have you MET five year olds

This whole fork fight scene makes me feel second hand embarrassment deep in my soul. It’s SO This Guy Is The Best And Coolest

“Fencing with effortless ease” I do not care how well trained he is: you cannot kill four men with long swords by stabbing them with a little fork in “four hard impacts.” It’s just not happening.

I’m really dwelling on the idea of magic as “imposing your will” on something. It’s very.., something. Murtagh cleans his shirt by “imposing his will on the garment” like. Okay, I suppose in a way that is how all laundry is done, but it’s. Hm.

How come he’ll clean a shirt with magic but not shave with magic? Why are these books SO obsessed with beards and shaving and how to do shave and using magic for shaving etc etc, Eragon was also majorly preoccupied with this

Paolini’s got so many complexes on the page. All the “we’re half brothers and your dad killed my dad” stuff is A LOT

The naming stuff… SMH what would Ursula Le Guin say about all this

I’m obsessed with how even as (gasp) an OUTCAST!! Murtagh can’t not be the coolest guy ever for any time at all. It’s like a disease

Giving the child the enchanted killing fork was the worst decision ever made. Murtagh gives her a murder weapon and is then moping like “what’s it like… to live without killing…” literally pages later.

I’m really startled that Murt is delighted to see a tiny flying magical grass boat come down from the sky and circle him instead of being like “wtf, I’m being Watched,” which would be the true act of a man we are told is paranoid

I just got to the bit where Murtagh offhandedly says that magic users who “are the heaviest” always have the most spell reserves.

Like……… what???? Magic eats your fat?? It burns glucose??

You could be a better mage if you just, ate a bunch of raspberry frogs before each fight??????

It’s food powered??? You really want to go there, Paolini????? Wizards in the candy shop, eating sweeties like Mistborns?

GOD, if only Galbatorix had chugged a bottle of red cordial before his last big fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I return after losing my mind about this to my partner for forty minutes)

If it was “if you’re hungry you can’t FOCUS” I’d get it. But I always assumed it was like, you know how other fantasy does it? Some kind of pool of ADDITIONAL energy that you are accessing and that can be used up (until you go too far and start using life force or whatever). Like, it’s CHANNELLING it that makes you tired, not that it’s literal food energy.

Murtagh is always running or doing his sword forms or whatever and now I’m like “DUDE, NO!!!?!? DON’T BURN YOUR WIZARD CALORIES!!?!?”

I like when magic can’t do EVERYTHING, when it’s consistent or limited in some way, but I do hate the idea that it’s this predictable. Food energy becomes raw magical power. I GUESS.

(A little later)

Screaming at the suggestion Thorn can tell when Murtagh is horny.

I don’t like the euphemisms. It makes it worse

The fact he can’t talk to his dragon whenever they’re “too far apart” (distance never specified) is making me insane. Why did I pick up the dragon riding book if it’s mostly about leaving your dragon locked up at the bike rack

I know Thorn is basically a rescue dog with anxiety, but it bothers me how much he’s left on his own. The narrative just has no idea what to use him for other than speedy transport for the first um… 200 pages, it seems? He’s meant to be his own creature with his own intelligence. He doesn’t go anywhere without Murtagh though. So what is he doing all the time

I think Paolini WANTS his world to be big and mysterious (his introduction literally just keeps saying things in the world of the story are mysterious) but he HAS to keep explaining everything

24 November 2023

I’ve figured out something that annoys me about the world of this book, in terms of just how the worldbuilding is not actually that magical. It has the D&D problem!!! Which is to say that every regular person on earth is Level One and every important character is like, level 12. And part of what makes that even worse is that all women in this world are level zero.

I’ve been watching my friend Chris play the first Alan Wake game and we realised that all the faceless enemies that are possessed by Evil in the game are… working class men. The protagonist is this literate wealthy New York writer who is constantly killing faceless workers—farmers, loggers, coal miners, builders. And that’s not an INTENTIONAL commentary by the game, but it’s very revealing. And This book is the same in that: there is no such thing as a complicated poor person. They’re all either Dirty Evil or Dirty Good. Murtagh is going around, writing poetry in his head and inventing magical computer code, and then every child is an urchin who is like Oi Guvnah, and every dad is gruff, and every woman is worried.

The language used to describe everyone who isn’t a Fighting Man is so demeaning. And even then, we only need to respect the leaders of those men. The leaders are the only ones with depth who might need to be taken seriously.

It’s like Murtagh has a tally in his head where he is going “finally, a guy who is level 6”!

Most people in this world exist to deliver information to the protagonist.

Paolini either thinks his readers are too dumb to understand that his characters exist between scenes, or he doesn’t understand himself that we don’t need to see every time Murtagh enters a city under a new name and how he does it. Or know what he ate for dinner and how he prepared it and where he slept and what he dreamed and, and, and—

It’s weird because Paolini is being self indulgent as fuck but it is NOT fun to read. This dude really just needs to go write a survival story or something… A guy in the woods depending on nothing but his wits and his axe and his beard and his libertarian values

I don’t understand the stakes at play. All the magic scenes with Mind Penetration are so sudden and hard to actually understand as action. And the way it works is about brute force, so the dragon is not going to be at risk of being taken over except by another, even bigger dragon

It would be fun to read the Murtagh city sleuth segments if Thorn was backseat driving a little. I think that their bond should not get thinner over distance. The fact that it does just defeats the point of a magical bond.

Why does the dragon have to stay so far away? Like… it’s established that there’s a spell to conceal a dragon from sight. Dude. You could just go fucking invisible

There’s so many decisions that just are so bonkers to have made. The whole fetch quest for information pissed me off so bad. “You have to join the guard” (40 pages of emotions about uniforms ensue). This guy learned about plots from video games

Paolini had kids apparently, but you can tell he doesn’t really understand kids. “How do they all start out so innocent and pure,” says a man who has never heard a seven year old describe someone being killed by farts before.

The description of Murtagh carrying a cat that doesn’t want to be carried is very funny. I don’t know if Paolini has ever carried a cat before. If you’re carrying a cat that doesn’t want to be carried close to your chest, and you tighten your grip when it squirms… say goodbye to your nipples, my man

It’s strange how much Paolini doesn’t explore the things that seem to be the point. FOR EXAMPLE, the fantasy soul bond trope loves to say “even during sex!??! 👀” because it’s about INTIMACY, and some alien presence always being there. The dragon rider trope is popular because dragons are powerful and wise but also Beasts. Magic is fun to read about because it can do things that can’t be explained.

Paolini’s world is big, but nothing in it has any real substance. Nothing in it has any real consequence, and it makes it impossible to really invest in anything that happens. None of these poor city folks have a life once they leave the scene of delivering Murtagh information… or if they are a woman, delivering him a hot meal. There’s no sense of a world that exists outside Murtagh’s point of view!

25 November 2023

The towns so far don’t feel at all distinctive to me! I was interested in the one with the massive lake, but then it having this massive fish in it was the only point of interest. It would be fun to have been like “oh the fish has ruined our summer festival! It’s ruined the nobility pleasure cruises! It’s also eating fishermen!” Or “Why do all these fishing boats have huge spikes on the prow? Well,”

Again, these guys are all level one in peasant dirt town. They have no capacity for individual thought and no ability to adapt.

It’s like Paolini doesn’t know what makes people and places in fantasy feel distinct, or have culture. It’s so evident in how much he HASN’T thought about. For example, the bonkers amount of restrictive gender norms that he doesn’t seem AT ALL CONSCIOUS OF? Everyone who died in the war was A Man. No women died in the war. But that hasn’t resulted in any social changes. There aren’t more women doing work, for example, like being fishermen

I remember being thirteen or so and reading the bit in the second book where Arya explains to Eragon that she’s better and stronger than a human woman, because she is an elf, so Eragon doesn’t have to worry about her in battle. I was this kid there like “man, that sucks. I assume he’s coming back to that assumption later,” and… he never did. He still hasn’t. And that sucks

The dragon riders were not THAT long ago, in the world of these books. It makes me wonder—were none of them human women? I always assumed that some were human women, but… did dragons only choose elf men, elf women, and human men? If they chose human women, then even being accepted into a paramilitary dragon force didn’t change gender expectations in the rest of the world. What the fuck. He’s really never thought about this.

Women keep showing up as cunning-mysterious, as humble dirtmothers, or as innocent children. Oh my god I’m just describing maiden mother crone. That’s all he’s capable of.

I just got up to where he rescues the werecat baby (innocent girl child) and settles in to hear the stories of elder werecat (cunning-mysterious)

I noticed the Arya Problem with how Nasuada is described in this book, too. Every woman has to be the best, most capable, most powerful woman ever, to be worth the attention of The Boys. Otherwise they can’t respect her. Only two literal queens can be considered worthy of just two average guys who got pet lizards. Even then, they’re not actual equals.

“She still empathised for me.” Yes, don’t worry, Murtagh, I remember that’s what women are for.

I should note that the reason Nasuada is considered so powerful and so much worthy of his love and is her strength as a person. This is proven in the Eragon books because “she still empathised” with Murtagh whilst he was medieval torturing her. He was medieval torturing her for like… most of a book and that’s how they fell in love. Because she could see in his eyes that this guy torturing her… was Complicated. He didn’t really WANT to be medieval torturing her so she actually felt worse for him than he felt about how he was (and I can’t stress this enough) medieval torturing her

I just can’t imagine that THE QUEEN OF A WHOLE CONTINENT would still prefer the guy who sadly tortured her. He’s her top preference. Out of EVERY OTHER MAN IN THE WORLD

I put the book down until the day before I was meant to have finished the book for book club:

10 March 2024: from page 274 onwards

The evil witch is called BACHEL?????!!?!??!? Fucking BACHEL. Pronounced “buh-SHELL”, the guide at the back says. You changed one letter in Rachel, don’t lie to me Paolini

I got so mad being reminded the evil king Galbatorix was defeated by “Eragon forcing empathy upon him” so that he magically exploded himself out of guilt that I had to put the book down and complain to Charlie for five straight minutes

I guess that’s why Galbatorix made Murtagh torture Nasuada for him. He knew that if he’d done it himself she would have empathised with him too hard and he would’ve exploded himself

Murtagh has never met a single person he has respected. Murtagh is the specialest boy in all the land. Eragon had to leave the country because they were both too special to share a continent

Murtagh decided on where to go and he was immediately surrounded by armed guards who took him to where the plot was

Paolini uses the fucking word “admixed” while discussing EATING A PIE. The flavours admixed in his mouth. Just because you know a word… doesn’t mean it’s a word to deploy about eating a pie

I HATE how the only people strong enough to do the strongest magic are Elves Or Human Riders. It’s fucking magic my guy! Why is it checking your goddamn DNA! Also, hey! Wasn’t it supposed to come down to the strongest wizards being the guys who ate the most for lunch?

In a world of Magic how come every wizard battle ultimately comes down to who is a better Professor X?? I came here for fireballs, not Mind Battles. I don’t care about your Mental Wards

Hahaha Murtagh!!! Get trapdoored, bitch!!!!

Dragon panic attacks: conceptually cool but a bit ?? Like ah… the plot literally comes to scoop him up and carry him away. Yet again something outside of Murtagh makes a decision for him about what to do next

Murtagh’s poetry is going to make me explode myself like Galbatorix in book 4

If there’s something I like about this book so far it’s just the bits where he and Thorn are camping. Not flying, because then Murtagh is using the time to think and that’s horrible. The bits where they make campfires or whatever feel like something is actually happening. A guy and his dragon hanging out

Man. The way this novel is plotted really reminds me that it’s not actually that hard to write a book.

Murtagh goes to the evil village (oh yeah there’s an evil village. It is where Bachel lives. She is evil because she does magic without using the magic language). The village is called:

NAL GORGOTH

But I couldn’t remember this so I kept referring to it in my head by another, more familiar, name

Murtagh is so freaked out by finding a village with architecture that he doesn’t recognise. He’s like “My god!!! Nasuada has to be warned!!!” Ok but about what??? New ways of building pillars???? The art deco movement threatens the land??

Kinda fascinated by how much this village represents a threat to CULTURE. The architecture, the people… Everything about it so far is designed to be A Foreign Threat. The inhabitants are Of All Races (except elves they are too cool too pure etc). The humans have A VARIETY OF SKIN COLOURS, which memorably never happens in Alagaesia, a continent once explicitly described in the Eragon books as only having two (2) black people on it at all (then one died) (the other is Nasuada) (the one who died was her dad)

This guy with a goatee isn’t quite human. He is maybe part urgal and he is so uncomfortable to look at! Mainly he has arms that are a bit too long!! Bachel isn’t a human and also isn’t an elf, and that’s also deeply unsettling.

Bachel also fundamentally represents a threat to THE STRUCTURING POWER OF LANGUAGE, huh??

Bachel is so far the most interesting character in the book!

Bachel has: ALMOND EYES and AMBER SKIN

Murtagh is so upset and confused when Bachel calls him “my son” like… I’m cryign. “But she’s not my mother! I know my mother!!” he thinks, in a panic.

If this was a fantasy novel written twenty to thirty years ago, then the sexual tension between Murtagh and Bachel would be absolutely insane. Alas, this is a world of abstinence, and sexuality is only ever meaningful looks between a queen and the guy who tortured her (it is weird how he keeps caressing Nasuada’s face on the gold coins)

It’s very funny that Bachel has specifically fourteen warriors. The prose keeps telling us that there’s fourteen of them. So you get Murtagh stepping forwards and then sentences like “the fourteen warriors attending Bachel shifted”

She seems like a perfectly normal cult leader to me? Why is she automatically a threat to Nasuada! How come the two of them can’t arrange a toxic political marriage that becomes… something more 😉😉😉

Nothing annoys me more in this book than Murtagh being able to identify specific vintages of wine. It keeps happening and it pisses me off

Bachel is a half elf!!! “It had never occurred to him that such a thing might be possible.” This is truly and absolutely unbelievable to me. Nobody in this world ever has sex

How did it take so long to get to such an objectively cool village!!! Like this is just a cool place!!! Sorry that Nar Nar Goon is evil but like FINALLY something has style

Three thoughts at once:

I’m so bored that Paolini’s mind can’t get more interesting than temple virgins, let alone wearing white to represent ritualistic purity. Like… nobody in this world fucks anyway, why does it matter!

Murtagh should also wear white all the time

Lesbianism doesn’t count as a violation of being temple chosen. Alín is wearing lesbianism

Paolini has never once written a woman who is Normal. He just can’t conceive of it. You can feel how he starts sweating.

Murtagh finally realised it was a cult. What sets it apart as a cult is that the followers appear to be “half-wits” to him

I’m going to detransition to break his fucking neck

Paolini has learned nothing since he had a woman deliver the exact same line in like 2008. The fact that another editor just thumbsed this up. The fact that this is in a book published in 2023. Well, now I’m REALLY embarking on an antagonistic reading: that’s right, I am reading women as capable.

Obsessed with Bachel. She is a girlboss and I’m a feminist xxx

Book is constantly weird about how much she is capable of eating and drinking at her feasts and how it makes her appear swollen and bloated etc etc. Murtagh is so weirded out by this because he feels it is unfeminine… as though she is not a witch and we weren’t told earlier that how much magic you have is directly equal to how much you eat. (Meanwhile he is only picking at his food and eating just enough of it ‘to be polite’ as though this is not making a decision to have less magic than her)

She has so much charisma compared to anyone else in the book. If my choices are her or Murtagh then sign me up boys!!!

Okay but much like how this would’ve been a VERY charged relationship 30 years ago, I’m weirdly disappointed Bachel she isn’t not described as megahot? Like the book keeps telling me about this virginal templemaiden or whatever, because Murtagh is only attracted to women he can rescue. But I’m actually just like… I think this woman is hot. Tell me more about her. It’s wild that this book is written by a guy like Paolini, who told me all about Oromis’ pubic hair in 2008, and who barely thinks women are people. Yet he doesn’t want to discuss her tiddies?

This book could, and should! have started when Murtagh landed his dragon in the evil village of Nar Nar Goon. That’s the point that stuff got actually interesting. Everything before this was literally video game fetch quest logic plotting that earned him the right to fly to Nar Nar Goon.

Boar hunt. More like BORED hunt. And then suddenly there are so many pigs, a comical number of them flying everywhere

This motherfucker using the phrase “the boar was lying athwart him” in a sentence in an action scene????

Murtagh is nearly dead and the boar is lying athwart him?

I’m going back in time and bullying the author at school

RIP Murtagh, trambled to death by 30-50 wild hogs

Oh god every time someone knocks Murtagh out he has a vision or a bad dream or a flashback or whatever and it’s so tiring

“EXISTENCE WAS A TOMB WHEREIN THE SINS OF THE PAST LAID INTERRED???” Do you ever read a sentence that sounds so much like the author is jerking it? “All had been lost, and there before him lay the instrument of their destruction” he is furiously jerking it oh my god. “Destroyer of hope, eater of light” oh, god, he’s still going

…This book is. Weird about mothers

Murtagh flies into a rage because Bachel mercy killed a guy who was dying bc of boar trampling because “I COULD HAVE HEALED HIM!!!!!” And the mercy killing is proof it is a cult. Because doing it Bachel’s way meant the guy was too relaxed and at peace when he died

Paolini’s family were in a cult, as I understand. So it’s kind of weird how much he doesn’t really understand how being in a cult works

I don’t really remember how religion works in this world, but I do remember tuning out of a long boring passage in book 2 or 3 where Eragon learned about all the gods and decided he was an atheist. It’s especially weird to be like “holy shit, an EVIL religion??!” In a book where religion has absolutely never come up before now

Oh my god, Alìn was whipped for being ‘too familiar’ with Murtagh!!! That’s because she’s so pure and a helpless victim girl in all white :’((

In my mind Bachel and Alìn COULD be in a fucked up lesbian relationship with bad BDSM etiquette. Of course Paolini can’t imagine a world where women have enough personality or agency to fall in toxic love with each other. Also even though he has people tied up and strapped down and whipped and being tortured etc in every book don’t think he knows that BDSM like. Exists. Boooooo

Murtagh: killing one guy who is dying of a punctured lung is the ultimate evil!

Also Murtagh: I know an invisibility spell, but to sneak out of my room I am going to suffocate seven men to death

Genuinely upsetting to read those men dying. He made it impossible for air to enter or exit their lungs with a word. Veins popping clawing at faces etc. God, what a way to go. So unnecessarily cruel. Yep, there goes the good guy

The main way the village is evil is that there are unsettling carvings everywhere. Paolini read some Lovecraft, but he did not understand what was up with it. Or maybe he did, because this book did get a lot more weird about Racial Purity once Murtagh arrived in Lovecraft Village

11 March 2024

There’s a bloodstain that “filled Murtagh with the apprehension of evil” and it confused me because these books are so gory. Earlier he killed four men with a fork. But like oh yeah I guess it’s because when Murtagh murders people now it’s bloodless. I guess. His murders are good you see

This chapter is called The Bad Sleep-Well you can tell Paolini thought he was a real genius for this one

Okay but why are there bats… roosting… in a cave… at night. And why is Murtagh worried that red light will risk waking them? Animals cannot see red light?? SOME FARM BOY YOU ARE, PAOLINI

Okay I have to stop nitpicking. I have to restrain myself until my Vyvanse kicks in

“Murtagh felt a sense of not just age but antiquity. Whoever had built the stairs had done so long before Alagaesia had been a settled place. What was it Bachel had said? That the cultists had lived in Nal Gorgoth since before elves were elves... He was starting to think she had told the truth.”

Sorry uhhhh, Alagaesia was settled?? When they talk about The Grey Ones, are they talking about a race PRIOR TO COLONISATION?????????

“He continued forward. Deeper into the womb of the earth. Deeper into the black unknown, seeking, seeking, always seeking a farther shore, every sense razor-sharp and razor-scraped, skin all goosefleshed, cold sweat dripping down the back of his neck and gathering around his belted waist.”

God it’s so overwrought...

He found the well!!

Oh my god. The well is a natural magic hotspot and that means it “wasn’t the sort of thing that the Draumar ought to have dominion over.” It’s a natural resource???

“Not that he would want Du Vrangr Gata to assume control over such an important location either. This was exactly what the Riders had been created for: to oversee and mediate that which could destabilize the land.”

Murtagh is going to bring democracy to the Middle East

He’s too scared to mentally contact his dragon with Bachel around. If he was a proper horse girl he would find a way

Oh Galbatorix BECAME evil because he met Bachel and she manipulated him. Haha oh dear. No, you can’t just come to the conclusion the dragon rider paramilitary force who controls the resources are bad on your own. Not just because they sent you into the mountains when they knew it was dangerous and wanted to find out if you’d be killed up there! No, a manipulation had to have happened

It’s funny to me that the evil ancient witch queen who lives in seclusion in the mountains uses the new name for the city of Uru’baen. Oh no, she knows it as Ilirea. She’s hundreds and hundreds of years old. You know what that is? Evidence of Find And Replace, to me.

Bachel’s eyes are “glowing with fevered ecstasy.” I could make her feel that way. Also. Because, I know about sex

Always with the fucking passing out at the end of the chapter for Christopher James Paolini

NOW Bachel is being described appropriately as a hottie. FINALLY. GOD! It only took Murtagh being mind controlled in his brain but I. I!!! I could see the glorious light of truth!!

“He followed, dumb and wildered.” Well, not as much as that sentence. (You can be bewildered. But can you ever just be wildered????)

The dedication to making Murtagh the most pitiful little meow meow in existence in the Galbatorix flashbacks I’m… what happened to the joys of a guy who is evil because he was convinced or was tricked, not because he was fully brain abused???

The Urgals are racially… uncomfortable. Yellow eyes and Murtagh just straight up saying “how do you speak English”

The evil guys have masks and they put them on and like channel the animals the masks are of and on one hand it’s an idea I THINK is cool but also combined with the everything it really has this “tribal stuff is threatening” vibe all over it

“What do you want, witch?”

“I want you.”

Obsessed with how he’s shackled to a table and there’s still an incredible lack of sexual energy to this scene. This is like a day at the office for both of them.

… oh, but she is wearing claws and claws DOES equal a threat of penetration. Maybe a little sexual? As a treat??

Him being tortured reminds him of torturing Nasuada. Wow, it was their first date!

It’s just like. It’s fucked up imo. She should never kiss you Murtagh!!!

Is anything more boring than a torture scene.

Also, was he not drugged right before this scene? How is he able to mentally evade her and power his wards etc?

I’m mad that when he’s brought fancy foods by Alìn he doesn’t share his food with Ubek the Urgal

Oh my god Ubek tells him a story where the moral is just him outright saying at the end, “it’s important to stay close to the people we care for, even if we don’t always fit in so easily” lmao. Subtlety of a mallet

Is anything more boring than a torture scene? How about a torture chapter!!!1!1!1!

This chapter is interminable. Oh my god.

Oh, so we did all that and he gives in I guess. I can’t believe how little agency this man has had throughout this book????

Haha oh my god, Bachel is studying his nude and compliant body in front of her court. Telling him to turn around so she can inspect his back (no mention of his ass even though it is out, tragic). Fucking love it. Now that’s bdsm. Pledging my allegiance to her instantly.

I am BORED. I liked when he was at least doing things of his own volition!

He flies his dragon off on Bachel’s orders and we get the line “Never had air smelled so… so… delicious.” Cryign

GASP he’s killed… CHILDREN!!!!!!! I hate how it only becomes horrifying for him to have done these murders once he realises they’re HUMAN children. Urgal children? The implication is that would’ve been a bit tacky but ultimately fine

Prison brothers blood pact. I feel so little about this. Ubek is 5000x more interesting than Murtagh but he’s been slotted into what is unfortunately a sort of magical indigenous person trope but where instead of being a human being, he is an orc. Which makes the whole trope much worse

Murtagh touched Alìn’s face… gasp! She’s been corrupted by the Touch Of A Man!!!!! (I do not care about this.)

(I care a little. For example she didn’t touch HIM. He just reached out and she didn’t pull away. This is the biggest decision about this character’s life, and she isn’t even allowed to be the one who makes it. He decides on her behalf, and she must be okay with it. Because she doesn’t pull away or fight him off.)

(Also Paolini doesn’t seem to be aware that ‘a woman who has been pledged not to be touched by a man’ would um. USUALLY be understood by a reader as euphemistic. Not that her purity could be forever ruined by a man literally just touching her face)

The way Paolini fills Murtagh’s brainwashed dialogue with oops all ellipses makes me want to tear the book apart with my teeth

Worst: how Grieve the guy who is part urgal is perpetually referred to as “heavy-browed.” “the heavy-browed Grieve” I’m sorry but I missed phrenology school, is that bad??

Also if he’s maybe part Urgal but Murtagh is now given a chance to making it clear that some of his best friends are urgals... Why is Grieve so distastefully described? What’s wrong with being half urgal? My suspicion: it’s the bloodlines intermingling

I suspect I can just skip every fucking dream sequence and flashback. Nothing of any value in these

This one guy, Lyreth, who trapdoored Murtagh for 2.5 seconds ages ago in the book, is TWICE referenced as holding/ touching the waists of “village” or “cultist” women in his dialogue tags. That’s the full extent of it. It’s not that there’s a giggling tavern girl sprawled in his lap while he’s speaking. These faceless women are exclusively sketched into existence by how a named male character’s hand is on their waist. We don’t know anything about how they are responding to his touch, which is extra in-your-face considering that Murtagh just obliterated a woman’s ritual purity by touching her face without asking. And it’s only ever these women’s waist. It’s not their hips or thighs or boobs. He’s not kissing their necks. I’m sure in Paolini’s mind this guy touching women’s waists is meant to read as sexual, which is supposed to reinforce that he’s a scumbag… but it doesn’t work because it’s so impersonal. These women are just… unmoving waists that he is just touching. It serves as a good illustration of how women—and sex and sexuality and bodies—are handled in these books. Men are never ruled by their strong and muscular bodies. Men have minds, and magic, and telepathy battles. Even when Murtagh is on a torture table or when he’s naked in front of a powerful woman who is actively inspecting his body, he doesn’t feel vulnerable. He doesn’t have an ass or a dick. The wind doesn’t make him shiver. He’s just a Mind. But women, well. They only have bodies when men touch them. The course of Alin’s life is defined by Murtagh’s touch, and even Nasuada, a fucking queen, only gets physical description via the coins Murtagh has in his possession and his memory of the cuts and bruises he left on her body. And women also have no minds—unless they’re werecats or elves or half elves, the only kind of woman who are remotely threatening, the only kind of women who are “as good as” the baseline of human men. Nasuada is proven as Murtagh’s equal because she was able to overcome the torture of her body. If he hadn’t tortured her, or if she had broken down, she wouldn’t have proven herself worthy of being his romantic partner.

Eragon’s romantic interest also started out being tortured. Not by him, but “girl who is tortured but is too strong to give up her secrets” was her entire characterisation for a book and a half, until he rescued her. That’s uh. That’s how you find girlfriends who are good enough for your protagonists.

THESE FUCKING BOOKS.

Bachel has put Thorn in a special wrought iron muzzle. Yet again, this is just objectively cool

We learn about who the cult worships: evil dragon underground. He makes fumes come out of the earth and they brainwash people and give them visions. He will come out of the ground and eat the sun unless every living thing worships him.

Really Bachel is not leading a cult she is leading an environmental rescue mission. Quick we gotta get everyone to worship this evil dragon STAT, or he’s going to wipe out all life on earth.

Why does an evil dragon living under the earth with the power to eat the sun (?!??!) actually want or need to be worshipped by “every living thing”. What is his motivation?? And why would that stop him eating the sun?

“The sculptures would have horrified most any artist in Alagaesia, no matter their race.” Mark this down as one of the worst sentences he has written yet!!

I realise now I’ve been misremembering multiple main characters’ names

I like Bachel telling Thorn to stay, like he’s a dog. That’s good to me

Murtagh is learning about the power of friendship to heal himself last minute, I guess

Why is Murtagh pausing to duel fucking Lyreth, the most boring man in the world. Is it because of the waists he touched??? I have never felt this man was worth any time at all

NOT Paolini specifically pointing out that Lyreth “smelled of a cloying peach scented perfume” and that he’s physically weaker than Murtagh as Murtagh overcomes him. Lyreth was too feminine to be strong, in the end

This book is obsessed with the word “youngling.” Murtagh says to Thorn “don’t kill any younglings.” He’s fighting Lyreth but he’s not worried because he himself is “no longer a youngling”. Fucking fuck off! just say youth. Child. Kid. Teenager even!! Come on!!

Murtagh going “this is taking too long” in the duel: me at the whole book thus far

“Is wrong-think to worship Bachel or Azlagur,” says Ubek. This is real dialogue in a book published in real 2023. Oh yeah btw everything he says is written like this

Oh, the urgal’s size and brute strength makes him Murtagh’s equal. I see

Grieve is legitimately yelling “kill the non-believers!!” and calling them desecrators??? Cartoon hours

To start winning the fight, all Murtagh had to do was find his magic sword! It stores all his potency and he inherited it from his father. Freud?? Don’t worry about it

The cultists are bleeding green blood???? Does this mean they’re not human or is it the lighting or what.

Groups of dragons are always being described as a Thunder Of. They’re only ever being described in visions but it’s always being described as “a thunder of dragons”, because Paolini is very proud of inventing his very own collective noun for dragons I guess

Buncha little pasty freaks showing up.

Murtagh’s ultimate challenge: he has to fight one hundred gollums

Paolini inventing new guys for his dungeon at unprecedented rates

Murtagh is legitimately busy trying to think of new names for his sword NOW?? He is just going to stop in the middle of this urgent fight to go find where the bad woman (Bachel) took the good woman (Alìn) to go “my sword has a bad name. It could have a good name.” Did he not have time while he was mouldering in the dungeon to think about this

He’s checking his compendium, like in video games.

Books have never been worse. If Murtagh/Paolini calls this sword Scar I will legitimately never know peace

Oh the sword is called Freedom now. Get it? Like America? It’s the most important value??

“Seeing the armor, Murtagh realized that the leather garb the cultists had donned for the festival of black smoke had been made to resemble Bachel's fantastic suit.”

what a sentence

This is the worst

I hate how her spear has a name and a dramatic history. Like come on

Fucking mind battles again

Alin is just… I’m sorry to her, but she’s not a real person. She’s a cardboard cutout in distress

The final boss fight should not be taking place in the magical world of the mind

Now she’s calling him “infidel?” Okay

The ultimate battle: the structuring power of masculine language versus the primeval chaos of raw women’s emotion!!! Who will win!! Hint: Christopher Paolini wrote this!

“She seemed merely a woman again.”

‘Merely’ is how Paolini always describes women (when he thinks they’re worth describing of course)

Wait… is the only reason Bachel has been intimidating REALLY just because she’s been channelling a tough evil boy dragon? Once the mask is gone and he’s not empowering her… she’s merely…

I’m going to kick Christopher Paolini’s fucking ass

Murtagh feels so emotionally close to Bachel. As he splits her skull. Normal book

For real why were ALL the Riders so afraid of Bachel??? The gas fumes? Face masks not invented?? This seems pretty easy to solve like if they’d just. Sent more than one guy?

He passes out and the chapter ends of course. Then he wakes up in the city

Ah, Alin is blonde and blue eyed. She was a pale skinned virgin who needed rescuing from an evil and also foreign almond eyed amber skinned woman who was whipping her. You know how it goes

I hate how Alìn always calls Murtagh “my lord.” She’s like one of those medieval fighting game banners of a sexy woman. She’s a cartoon.

Isn’t it a shame that when Murtagh hastily gets out of bed to bow to Nasuada he is wearing pants. So much funnier if he wasn’t

I’m so over this book holy shit

Oh, for being the apparently only sole survivor of Murtagh’s obliteration of her cult and everything she’s ever known, Alìn is being promoted to… Nasuada’s maid. That’s not what she asked for. That’s just what she’s being told she’s going to do from now on. Fucking hell.

Nasuada is Jealous of this blonde woman and I was afraid for her because Nasuada is also famously the only black woman on the continent. But of course she has nothing to fear because only the most powerful woman in the land could ever be remotely Murtagh’s equal, which she proved by being stronger at being tortured than him

She asks him to stay and she touches his hand just lightly

The END??

They don’t even kiss?!!!?!! I had to read it twice to be sure. SEXLESS BOOK.

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch. 3 returning the favor

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader (f)

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, mentions of weed, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot

ᰔ chapter. 3/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 4.5k

a/n. hope you enjoy! i really had fun incorporating a lot of the other characters in this one.

nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 :: ch6 :: ch7 :: ch8 :: ch9 :: ch10 (pending)

☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1

♬.*ﾟplaylist

|| 9:21AM Gojo Satoru sent you a photo

|| 9:22AM Gojo Satoru: Here’s our practice schedule for the week. Honestly, it’s better if you come when we do practice games or something, since on other days we just do drills or strength training, but coach doesn’t really tell us what we’re doing beforehand so would probs have to play it by ear

|| 9:27AM Gojo Satoru: Oh yeah, we’ve got a big game in three weeks on the 28th. It’ll decide if we’re automatically seeded into the top 16 teams bracket, which is really crucial if we want to eventually bring home the championship. Not sure when your assignment is due, but that would be a good official game to come to 

|| 9:28AM Gojo Satoru: Let me know as soon as you can if you want to make that game. I’ll have to ask coach to get the referee sign-off for you to be on-field during play at least a week before

You look down at all the messages he was sending you during class on a Monday morning. After he sent you that house party details post from his fraternity’s Instagram page last week, their posts kept popping up in your feed and you saw one this morning with a bunch of the guys in the frat, Gojo included, shotgunning beers until 3AM last night. You marvel at how he’s somehow not hungover beyond repair and is texting you before noon. 

Pressing and holding on to his messages, you give him little thumbs up reactions and you decide on a heart reaction for the picture he sent you of the practice schedule. Then, you set your phone down and look at the video of the men’s soccer team highlights your professor was playing from the game a week and a half ago.

“Here, here, this right here. Midfielder #24 surveyed the field, spotting #13 making a run for it down the flank. Pinpoint pass to left winger, who starts steering through defenders, but loses the ball. Then, center forward #10 steals the ball back! He steals the ball, he fucking steals the fucking ball back!” Your professor was running back and forth in front of the projector screen, his finger following the movement of the soccer ball in the video. Your heart jumps a beat when Gojo shows up on screen, with his signature #10 jersey, and some people in the lecture hall stand up in excitement with the professor. “Beelines towards the goal, and BAM! Goalie stood no fucking chance, ball sent immaculately into the back of the net. Victory for UTokyo, 2-1, in the last seconds of the game!" Your professor cheers and jumps up and down. Some people cheer with him, others sigh, others are in awe, and some simply clap. 

Another entire lecture goes by where the professor spends absolutely no time going over film photography theory and instead just talks about how soccer used to be back in his day. You approach him after class, clutching your laptop case to your chest, and it’s only when you clear your throat in front of him that he finally looks up at you from the podium. 

“Oh, y/n, how can I help you?” He asks as he shoves his phone back in his pocket.

“Hey, professor. Bit of a request, could I have like two extra days for my assignment? There’s this event that I really want to use for the subject matter but it’s the day before the deadline, and I would need some time to develop my photos,” you say in the politest tone you can muster up.

“Yeah, sure. Just get it in before the end of the deadline week,” he says nonchalantly. “Looking forward to seeing it. Good work on the last one, by the way.”

You give him a smile and a word of appreciation before turning on your heel and making it up the stairs to exit the lecture hall, pulling your phone out of your tote bag. 

|| 9:53AM You: i can make it on the 28th. please get that referee permission for me

You press your lips together as you press send, and then type a bit more.

|| 9:54AM You: and thanks a lot

Your stomach is suddenly growling and you’re about to head over to the student hub when your phone starts ringing. You look down at the contact name that says Nobara and pick up.

“Hey, Nobie, what’s up,” you say as you make your way towards the heart of campus, enjoying the light breeze as the sun peeked through the clouds. 

“Where are you? Didn’t we have a Film Club meeting today?” She asks you, her tone a bit impatient. “We were supposed to discuss that collaboration with the school newsletter.”

Shoot. You forgot. These days, you were a bit too distracted by recent happenings, like Mina practically falling head-over-heels for a guy that was quite possibly the opposite of her type, the towering amount of class assignments that never seemed to end, and this whole arrangement you were trying to coordinate with Gojo Satoru. The Film Club meeting totally slipped your mind. You were supposed to head out of class a bit early to make it on time. “I’m so sorry, Nobara. I totally forgot about it. I’m unfortunately all the way on the other end of campus right now. I typed up some notes in the document, can you just run those by them? If we need anything else, I’ll reach out to them by email.” 

She sighs on the other end of the line. “Yeah. I’m not good at these conversations, but I guess as President I should be better at them anyways. I’ll let you know how it goes.” And then she hangs up. 

Mentally happy that you were at least free of one other obligation today, you prepare to make your way to the dining hall when your phone vibrates again.

|| 10:01AM Gojo Satoru: Will do, and sure thing. By the way, you free right now? Coach is having us do a practice game, probably for around 2 hours

You squint your eyes at his message, considering the opportunity. You didn’t have any other classes left for the day and were just going to grab something to eat before heading home, but now you wonder if you should make it to this practice session. He did say that you have to be flexible since he doesn’t even know exactly what they’ll end up doing before practice, so you figured this might be your only chance this week to practice capturing shots of them as they play, since it seemed like they had Tuesday & Friday off based on Gojo’s schedule picture. Unfortunately, you only brought your digital camera with you today since your film camera was too heavy to carry around unless you knew you needed it, but you can still do a lot with digital that would help for the film camera shoot. You could make it work.

|| 10:05AM You: yeah, i’m free. i was just gonna grab something to eat first, and then i’ll head over to the field in maybe 15 min. but i’m not exactly sure how to get onto the field, or where the entrance is…

He adds a heart reaction to your message which startles you a little bit. An accident, maybe?

|| 10:06AM Gojo Satoru: Lol, just meet me at that weird art sculpture they put up last semester. The one that cost like all of our tuition money. I’ll walk you to the field

You let out a sigh, somewhat nervous that you'll be seeing him again soon. The last time you saw Gojo was when you left him standing unceremoniously at the kitchen island with a somewhat offending comment. Nonetheless, he didn’t necessarily seem angry at you. Quite the opposite, actually. He’s been way more helpful than you had ever anticipated. You started to feel like the effort you put into getting Mina to go to that house party was nothing compared to the effort he was putting in for you to ace this assignment. 

Stopping by your school’s mini grocery store, you pick up a sandwich plus some strawberry vanilla soda, and take some bites as well as some sips as you leisurely make your way to the expensive art sculpture near the sports fields. As you get closer to it, you see Gojo from a distance talking to some people. A few of them were guys, a few of them girls, and he was laughing out loud at something one of the girls said. A part of you wonders what it’s like to be adored by so many people. 

When he spots you at the other side of the cross walk, he doesn’t break eye contact with you as he’s hurriedly saying goodbye to the group in front of him. Their heads turn to each other in confusion before turning their attention in your direction as he makes his way over to you.

“Hey,” he says as he lightly jogs up to the sidewalk you were standing on. You notice he’s wearing a black long sleeve undershirt with a short-sleeved blue one on top, along with some athletic black shorts and running shoes. When he brushes some of his hair away from where it had fallen near his eyes, your heart skips a beat at his handsome expression. A smile graces his face. “You ready?”

You nod, swallowing the mouthful of sandwich you didn’t realize you had stopped chewing, and follow his lead as the two of you cut across behind the batting cages of the school’s softball training area. Your eyes fell to Gojo’s back as he walked on the pavement. His shoulders were broad, shoulder blades pulling the upper half of the fabric of his clothing somewhat taut across as the rest of it freely flowed down to his lean lower back. The long sleeved shirt he wore underneath was pretty loose-fitting, but you could still see the thickness of his muscles. With every step that he took, his calves flexed in a way that made you realize he must really work out.

“What are you eating?” He says as he turns around to face you, walking backwards for a few paces as he looks at your hands.

“Oh, just a veggie sandwich,” you answer as you hold it up next to your face. “Campus delicacy.”

His smile widens. “And what are you drinking?” This time he asks with a bit more curiosity.

“It's strawberry vanilla soda,” you say as you juggle all of the things you were holding in your arms. 

“Can I have some?” He asks with a somewhat innocent tone. “The soda, I mean. I’ve never had that flavor.” 

You hesitate, but alas you were a people-pleaser. “Sure.” 

He halts his movements and so you do too, and he closes the gap between you two in one exaggerated stride. His hand gently pulls the soda bottle out from where it was tucked into your elbow to keep it from falling. You notice the veins on his hand get more defined as he squeezes & twists to release the cap and it sends something akin to a wave of arousal through your body, entirely startling you. But when he brings the bottle up to his lips with his head tipping backwards, drinking directly from it, neck bobbing as he swallows and a single drop trickles down the expanse of his jawline, the arousal directly hits you at your core. 

“Hm,” he licks his lips. “That’s pretty good.” 

You’re standing there in shock, your grip on your sandwich causing dents in the bread. He dabs the stray droplet of liquid at his chin with the back of his hand and turns around to keep walking ahead, making his way up the stairs onto what looks like a grassy field. It takes you a second to start moving too, and by then you need to do a light jog just to catch up to him. 

There’s a comfortable silence that develops between the two of you and when you glance at Gojo, you notice his eyes are closed and there’s a serene smile on his face, a gust of wind pushing the hair up out of his forehead and sending the blades of grass dancing across the hilly field. You smile too at the sensation of cool wind on your skin. It was a beautiful day outside with sparkling sunshine and quiet whistling wind.

“Can I ask you something?” You say after contemplating if you should interrupt his somewhat meditative state. 

“You can ask me anything,” he easily replies. 

“Why are you so willing to help me out with my assignment?” 

He turns his head to look at you with a neutral expression. “Because you did me a favor.” 

You sigh. “I know…but it really wasn’t that hard to convince Mina to go to that party. I feel like you’re helping me out way more than I helped you out.” A small ladybug lands on the fabric of your jeans and you marvel at it before it flutters its wings and flies away.

He’s silent for a second. “Honestly, when you agreed to help me out with Todo’s little crush, which by the way I had to do because I lost a bet, and you mentioned something about terms and conditions in your message,” he starts to say, a brief pause making its way between the sentence as if he was actively trying to relive that first night he was texting you, “I thought you were going to ask for something sexual in return.” 

Your mouth drops at his line of thinking, suddenly mortified. That’s how your message came across to him? Oh my God, you had to rethink how you texted everyone in your life from now on.

“I mean, weren’t you being a little flirty? ‘My terms and conditions will come later’. Or do I just have some weird sexual brain rot?” His eyes are still on you, his tone way too casual in your opinion for this sudden topic of conversation. You also realize that he thinks having sex with him would be returning you the favor. And then you try not to think about how good he probably is in bed. 

When you can’t think of what to say and just stare at him with wide eyes, he smiles and stretches his arms out in front of him as another gust of wind passes by. “Well, anyways, when you shared what you actually wanted from me and it ended up being a pretty earnest request…let’s just say I was emotionally moved by your dreams and aspirations.” He says that last part somewhat dramatically and you roll your eyes, sending him an annoyed look. “A little disappointed, but nonetheless moved.” 

“Wow, you’re the type of person that would trade favors for sex?” you ask him with a sneer to your tone. 

He sends a lazy smirk to you over his shoulder to where you’re trailing behind him now. “Not really, no, can’t say I’ve ever done it before,” he says slyly, “probably would’ve made an exception for you, though.” And then he’s giving you a wink.

You can’t help but blush a little. He was definitely just teasing you, some hobby of his that he does just to constantly get a kick out of the people around him since he knows he just has that much of an effect on them, so you try not to let his words get past your skin to the more vulnerable parts of you. He’s reading your expression before he speaks up again.

“We’ve already started this little return favor of yours, so no take-backs. It’s an eye for an eye. Not an eye for an eye and throw some casual sex in there, too.” He makes his way up what seems to be the largest hill across the field and he stops at the top, peering out at whatever was across from it. When you made your way to the top too, your eyes widened as you saw an expanse of flat grassiness covered in orange cones, green land markers, white chalk outlines, and netted goals. Oh, and a lot of men. “Alright, you freaky little photographer. Here are your muses.” 

You let out the breath you were holding in and smiled, hands immediately reaching for your digital camera case within your tote bag. A wave of creativity and inspiration hit you as you were finally able to lay your eyes on your subject matter and setting, and you couldn’t wait to get started. 

Gojo makes his way down the hill and you stumble after him. He high-fives a couple of his teammates that were leaving the first wave of practice and makes his way over where the second-wave practice players were stretching on the field and running laps.

“C’mon, Itadori, I’ve seen snails with a more urgent sense of direction than you! Pick up those goddamn knees!” You hear a loud voice from a few feet away from you and flinch, eyeing the scary looking man that had a…Pomeranian dog in his arms? He was wearing a black athletic jumpsuit and had extremely tinted, thick sunglasses on. His facial hair was a bit jarring and you immediately decided you were scared of him, despite how gently he was petting the little dog cradled in his arms. 

“That’s coach Yaga,” Gojo says beside you with a smile on his face and his hands on his hips. “Real nice guy.”

You turn to give him a suspicious look and he just returns it with a wider smile. 

“Hey! It’s y/n,” you hear a somewhat familiar voice call out and you glance at the direction it came from. You see Geto standing next to Nanami and he whacks his hand against the blonde's chest to get his attention when he makes eye contact with you before jogging over. You see Gojo put his hands in his shorts pockets in your periphery. “What are you doing here?” 

You give him a shy smile, suddenly embarrassed by the attention. “Here to take some photos.”

“Are you with the school newsletter?” Nanami’s smooth voice says as he approaches Geto, standing next to him. They both were wearing matching blue tracksuits. 

“No, I’m not. Just here to…take some photos for one of my classes. It’s for a film photography assignment.” You suddenly wished you were part of the school newsletter committee, so that you could at least provide them with some positive publicity with your photos. You wondered if they would think you’re just using them. As if Gojo could read your mind, he patted Geto harshly on the back and let out a loud, obnoxious laugh.

“Hear that, punks? She wants to try and take some nice photos of you lot. Be grateful! Of course, your grotesque appearances cannot simply be fixed by any technology yet known to man,” Gojo says rather loudly, continuing to smack Geto on the back. Geto has a small pitiful smile on his face and Nanami just looks annoyed. You feel lighter somehow, less tense. 

“Okay, cool, let us know if we can help in any way,” Geto says kindly as he sits down on the grass to continue stretching out his legs. “Oh by the way, Satoru, Chosou’s out sick today so you might need to cover for goalie.” 

“What? Why’s that fucker always getting sick?” Gojo says as he walks towards one of the duffle bags on the bench, and you assume it’s his. He pulls out a water bottle. “He needs to stop eating that goddamn grocery store sushi.” 

“Oh! Oh! It’s you,” another somewhat familiar voice calls out from ahead. You see a guy wearing a dark blue jacket that had a red hood approaching you from the inner field. Then you recognize he was that guy at the entrance of the house party that called you a- “It’s casual tomboy!” 

Your eye twitches slightly as you take in your appearance. Sure, you were wearing jeans again, but your top was somewhat stylish and feminine. He arrives in front of you and notices the digital camera hung at your neck. “Hey, what’s that?” He points directly at your midriff where the camera sat. He almost pokes his finger right through the delicate attachable lens that cost you nearly two months of rent.

“A little rude, Yuuji,” Geto says, grunting as he switches from one stretch to the other. 

Yuuji gets closer to you to study the camera and you instinctively lean away from him before Gojo is grabbing him by the hood of his jacket and yanking him away from you, Yuuji’s arms flailing out in front of himself in a struggle. “Hey, get back to practice. You’re not allowed to talk to pretty seniors.” 

Coach Yaga grunts and crosses his arms from where he stood a few feet away, the tiny pomeranian now barking at his feet. “I never said you could stop running laps, Itadori! Get your ass back out there! I’ll be sending you to recreational soccer for the rest of your freshman year if you don’t get your damn head straight!” Gojo lets go of Itadori’s hood and the poor boy is scrambling across the field to join what seems like the other first-years for their warm-up laps. Coach Yaga turns to you and gives a hmph before vaguely gesturing to you. “May I know what you’re doing out on my field?”

“Coach!” Gojo says, making his way over to the scary man. He slings his arm around his neck and the man just continues to glare at him through his sunglasses. “She’s with me today. Photographer y/n will be taking some handsome photographs of you that you can send to your wife, and then maybe your wife will actually want to-”

Coach Yaga puts Gojo in a headlock and Gojo’s instantly tapping on his back to get him to ease up. “I dare you to finish that sentence, boy.”

You let out a small laugh. This was certainly a lively bunch. Nanami approaches you and expresses interest in your camera. You lift it up for him to take a closer look. He pinches his chin between his bent index finger and thumb, as if he was a detective analyzing a crime scene. “I see…so this is a film camera.” 

“Ah…” you laugh awkwardly. “No, this is just a digital camera.” 

“I see…so this is a digital camera,” he repeats, equally as intrigued. 

The time eventually comes along where all the players start the practice match. There’s obviously not enough players out on the field for full teams on each side, but they’re split into 1st & 4th years vs. 2nd & 3rd years. You learn that the second wave practice group has the talented players at the top of each of their year groups. Gojo doesn’t seem to participate in the practice match despite one team having to omit having a goalie since the coach requested he sit out to watch the plays and make suggestions.  You’re a bit sad you don’t get to see him play, but figured you’ll have a chance in the future. You take a few snapshots as one of the other first-years, a quiet boy named Megumi, kicks the ball towards the goal that ends up bouncing off the goal frame. You spend some time tweaking the exposure, zoom, and focus until you feel like you have a pretty good idea of the settings you’ll need to get some fluid shots. 

When you look up over the field again, raising your digital camera to your face, you notice Gojo looking at you from across the field where he stood at the sidelines. You both keep your gaze on one another for a couple of seconds, and you boldly lift the camera up to your eye, taking a few snapshots of him. When you pull it away, look down at the results on the small screen, and then glance back up at him, his eyes are slightly wide. Something stirs within you when you remember his words from earlier: I thought you were going to ask for something sexual.

Your mind wanders back to the party from last weekend, and the feeling of him leaning down next to your ear in the kitchen as he said “Thanks, I owe you one. Find me later, ‘kay?” The memory itself made your cheeks feel warm. Did he…think that something was going to happen that night at the party? Probably would’ve made an exception for you…Disappointed, but nonetheless moved. Somewhere in the haziness of your thoughts, you realize that meant that Gojo would’ve wanted to sleep with you if that was indeed your condition.

When you look to the other side of the field again, Gojo’s eyes are still on you but his handsome face looks a bit troubled, eyebrows furrowed and lips slightly pursed. You couldn’t really tell what he was thinking, but for some reason you felt like he could tell what you were. When you raised an eyebrow at him, his face relaxed and he slowly shook his head as if to say it's nothing. 

Coach Yaga’s sharp whistle cuts through the silent conversation you two were having as he yells, “alright, boys. Practice over! Go stretch yourselves out.” 

You quickly stuff your digital camera back into its case and collect your things into your tote bag. In your peripheral vision, Gojo’s making his way over to you and when he’s right next to you, you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

“How’d it go? Get some good shots?” he asks, sounding genuinely interested.

“Um, yeah, I think so.” You’re still not looking at him, pretending to fiddle with something in your tote bag. He leans down a bit to look at your face more clearly when he notices you’re not meeting his gaze, but you still struggle to make eye contact with him. “I’ve gotta go, can you tell the guys I said bye?” And then you’re making your way up the hill.

There’s a beat of silence as confusion washes over him from your behavior. “Hey, wait, y/n, do you know how to get back to campus?”

You spin to face him when you're at the top of the hill, finally looking him in the eye. There’s a concerned expression on his face. “Yes, I’ll be fine. Thanks a lot for today. Let me buy you a strawberry vanilla soda sometime, okay?” Flashing him a small smile, you turn around and run down the hill, ignoring the fast beating of your heart.

a/n. thanks a bunch for reading!

➸ take me to chapter four!

[creedslove]

hii!! i have an idea for a headcanon (i dunno if you’re still doing them prob not) but of post! outbreak joel. him, ellie, and reader living in jackson and how the two meet and how they come together as a little family?

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: I'm usually more of a no outbreak AU Joel but I loved this idea very much anon 🥺

You met Joel pretty much like everyone else did in Jackson: by knowing he was Tommy's older brother and listening to several stories of his terrible, ruthless past

Which didn't bother you at all because as you lived in the fucking apocalipse not many things fazed you and you knew surviving took a lot of questionable actions and sometimes people just had to do what they had to do

He very much kept to himself, contrary to the young girl that always tagged along with him, who didn't shut up one second and always seemed impressed or excited about something

You couldn't lie, you thought that was very sweet

But you didn't understand how father and daughter could be so different: she was a chatty box and he mostly just groaned and grunted or hummed in approval

And then you learned they weren't father and daughter, because the two of them were very quick to state that, though it was also sweet that everyone saw they were father and daughter regardless of what they said

Ellie - you'd learned her name - was very sweet despite her sailor's mouth and you two often got along once you began teaching her how to bake; it was just a simple, ordinary story, you lived on the same street in Jackson and one day she happened to pass by right when you were baking cookies and the smell of it just drove Ellie insane

To the point she had no shame in knocking on your door and asking you what was that you were making and then she tried your cookies and she was doomed, because from that moment on she would do anything she could in order to eat some of those delicious treats

She told you she was tired of eating Joel's shitty food and you sort of scolded her because you knew he did his best, but if she didn't like it she could learn how to make her own

Ellie told you she didn't exactly know how, so you offered to help her and teach her how to cook and bake as much as she would like

Joel didn't resist it because he knew she would be busy and safe during the day and also because he would be the one testing her new food and recipe, which he didn't oppose

Your official meeting was when Ellie had already had a few classes and she asked if she could use your kitchen to make dinner and invite Joel to see if he would actually approve it or not

But in fact it was a lie, she had just noticed how he stared at you and how you blushed whenever he talked to you, so she figured if you two were too dumb to get to know each other, she would have to give you two some help

But it worked, after having dinner at yours, Joel enjoyed it so much he kept making up excuses to come back and before you could realize, you and Joel were in a relationship together

Things were getting more and more serious and you loved him more and more each passing day, and the same for Joel, for a man who thought he wouldn't be able to love again, there he was: madly in love with you

So it was just logical you would move in together

And while Joel was out working around down or in patrols, you were very often taking care of the house

You and Ellie became baking buddies and every single day there's something fresh and sweet at home for your handsome boyfriend

You and Ellie got so good at it you started baking goodies to sell in the neighborhood or exchange for favors and products, making it a nice income for the two of you

Joel finally had a family and a home in a world he first thought it wasn't worth living in, he was still a deeply scarred man and he would probably never get rid of his demons but you and the little family you formed made everything better for him 💗

____

[inchidentally]

'what if the competition between Lando and Oscar turns bad?' between my landoscar post and comments on other SM content it made me want to get weird in notepad again

I'm tagging @481boxboxbaby and @twinkodium who've asked but I'm sorry if someone's asked to be tagged and I missed it! also tagging @huntscunt who's tags put this idea in my little head

(caveat that I'm a casual fan who happens to have been around F1 fans all my life so this is just my not remotely official perspective lol)

just to state I think it's a given that we're all so excited for McLaren's future with these two is that Lando and Oscar feel like generational talents. and they're also very different as drivers and every race is exciting to watch even just for them. also the fact that Oscar was the jolt of competition that Lando needed.

and honestly I'd be more worried about their future harmony if they hadn't already had so many highly competitive and charged moments in their first season together:

Oscar came in at a surprisingly even level with Lando apart from the obvious difference in experience. he's taken risks that have on balance landed decently on the side of ballsy/respectable vs total failure and the time spent as reserve driver hadn't deteriorated any of his ability. so it was fair to worry for a while if Lando would take the competition as motivation or frustration esp after the disparity between him and DR in 2022.

I really liked the sort of respectful if tentative camaraderie Oscar and Lando showed each other when the car was an absolute tractor. but I liked it even more the fact that the turnaround at McLaren by Silverstone saw them both still in such a good place while being very competitive. that was I think the start of us seeing that Oscar wanted to prove himself a real team player and good teammate by starting the habit of showing up consistently for Lando's podiums/qualis.

the pit lane ding-dong in Monza was definitely the biggest test they've had - and that a lot of teammates will ever have - and the whole thing was handled really well all around. Andrea did the right thing of being big bad boss and Lando was quick to say that it was prob down to misjudgement (which is what I always thought) and that they still respect each other the same. I wasn't as active then so I can't remember if Oscar was asked for a response but I do remember my friends/family telling me that it was impressive how that didn't cause any major damage between the drivers since that's a pretty major incident to happen so early in a new partnership.

side note here to say that the ppl around me who've been watching F1 since the 90s overall feel like the hothead in-fighting with teammates seems to be fading/getting less intense with the younger generations. maybe it's because alpha male mentality seems cringe to gen z or because awareness of mental health is way more prevalent. Gasly and Ocon are relatively young drivers but even there the situation is pretty rare and because of hanging onto childhood grudges. I don't get the impression that any of the people around me feel like the Norris/Piastri partnership is likely to blow up or generate bitterness just because they're competing so closely ??

it's fair to say that Oscar has seemed genuinely happy to acknowledge that Lando is the McLaren brand representative and the established fan favorite within the sport as well as the team's fanbase. he's extremely mature for his years and incredibly well-balanced in terms of ambition. he's almost tailor made as a perfect compliment to Lando. EDITED TO ADD: see Oscar's almost lifelong friendship with Logan Sargeant as an example of Oscar having duked it out on track with someone for years while remaining close friends the whole time. and this was Oscar interrupting his own victory radio message to say how awfully he felt for Logan crashing out early. and that this is what Oscar felt about his and Lando's partnership toward the end of the season.

EDITED TO ADD:

Silverstone is a perfect encapsulation of how Lando has felt about Oscar from the very start and this was so beautiful to say.

Lando has measured himself by Lewis Hamilton-level goals since karting. Oscar wants to qualify well and win races. Lando was brought into F1 extremely young coming off of huge expectations and has placed enormous pressure on himself since as early as his second year in F1. Oscar has taken a business-like approach to his career since he was 14 and his calm sense of focus and determination comes from focusing on the race ahead and not letting much else in.

Lando's emotions being driven by his superstar destiny/status and Oscar's ability to have calm perspective even during a race is as solid a foundation as you can get in an F1 partnership honestly. they'll absolutely have the same conflicts that all teammates do and the media and DTS will explode those out of all proportion (both of which I ignore anyway). but I really can't see Oscar suddenly flying off the handle or holding grudges and I can't see Lando becoming a driver who suddenly wants to sustain a bad relationship with his teammate after all these years. Oscar is very clearly not the type to develop a crazy ego and Lando genuinely has more of an insane high self-expectation complex than that big of an ego.

even setting aside the parasocial widely felt agreement that they seem to genuinely like and respect each other, neither of them are alpha types and they're not both superstars jostling for publicity and they didn't come up together with a ton of existing history. idk it's just not on the F1 cards that they become icy or resentful.

so while I know no one can see the future and they're both relatively young and could change I don't really feel apprehensive?? and it's way too early to know if either of them will split from McLaren or when. especially if the car stays competitive with RB and Merc then it's the best place for both of them for the foreseeable (and prob most likely since competitive openings elsewhere look to be scant for the next 5ish? years but pls correct me if that's wrong!).

.

.

side side side note: I personally would not want to see Lando at RB. I know he's itching to try that car but unless RB and Max change drastically before then, Lando would positively shrivel up there. he's a superstar and he needs to be someplace he can be a superstar. it's also why I'm glad Carlos and Daniel moved along bc that's why those friendships are still so strong. we saw what had begun to happen when Lando was eclipsing Daniel and I don't even want to think about Carlos and his family if Carlos was teammates with a dominant Lando.

[chelseachilly]

king of my heart - pt 6

my baby’s fit like a daydream walking with his head down i’m the one he’s walking to

pairing: reader x ben chilwell summary: a new season for chelsea means an exciting new chapter for ben and for your relationship warnings: chelsea winning a game 🫢, smut :) (18+) word count: 2.6k

author’s note: hi! i’m currently on vaca for a week in the carribean (this was prewritten) so i prob won’t post again for a week or so, enjoy this bit of fluff and smut in the meantime 💗

You’re practically bursting at the seams with excitement as you sit on Ben’s couch, waiting for him to return home.

The Chelsea jet landed almost an hour ago and you know he’ll be back any time now. He’s been gone for two weeks for the summer USA tour, officially the longest you’ve been apart since you began seeing each other, and it’s been torture.

You tried to FaceTime as much as possible, but the time difference and your busy schedules made it challenging, so you feel like you’ve hardly even talked to him since you kissed him goodbye two weeks ago.

You stayed at Ben’s while he was away to watch his dog Oscar and water the plants. He would typically hire people for that, but you were happy to do it, and staying at Ben’s huge house was hardly a burden for you.

There was also the advantage of being able to raid Ben’s wardrobe - more specifically, his dirty laundry basket - for hoodies smelled like him. One of which you’re currently wearing as you sit on the couch, curled up with Oscar, watching The Office reruns.

It’s getting pretty late, and you had a long work day, so you feel your eyelids getting heavier by the moment as you wait for your boyfriend to get home.

Eventually, you’re unable to stop yourself from drifting off on the couch. You don’t know how long you’re out for, but when you wake up, you feel a gentle hand caressing your face.

“Hey there, sleepyhead.”

“Ben?” you yawn, eyes still shut.

It takes you a moment to come to your senses, but when you open your eyes and see Ben’s bright blue-green ones staring back at you, you fling yourself at him. He’s crouched on the floor next to you, and he shifts back onto his bum so he can pull you into his lap and hold you close.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he mumbles into your neck, his low voice and breathy whisper completely intoxicating you. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” you say, your hands clutching at the material of his t-shirt. “You have no idea how long those two weeks felt.”

“Oh, trust me, I do,” Ben says, pulling back so he can take your face in his hands and kiss you firmly.

You missed his kisses like crazy, how his lips feel like a drug as they capture yours. You can’t get enough of him, especially after all these days apart.

You’re interrupted by Oscar joining the two of you on the floor, nuzzling Ben for some attention. You really can’t blame the dog - you know he missed him too.

“There’s my boy,” Ben says with a smile, petting Oscar. “Thanks again for watching him, Y/N.”

“Of course, babe.”

You smile, moving to stand up, but Ben swiftly wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you down to the couch, covering your face and neck with more kisses as you laugh loudly.

“I love you wearing my clothes,” Ben murmurs, slipping his hand under the hoodie to caress your bare back. “But I also really wanna take this off you right now, if you’re not too tired.”

“Please, I’ve been thinking about this for two weeks straight, and those Instagram photos of you training the other day drove me mad,” you say, watching him grin for a moment before pulling him in for another searing kiss. “Take me upstairs, Chilly.”

Ben happily complies, scooping you up by your thighs so you can wrap your legs around his waist and beginning to carry you to his bedroom.

-

yourusername via stories

charlottewright via stories

benchilwell

📍London, United Kingdom

liked by yourusername, reecejames and others

benchilwell There’s no place like home 💙

tagged: yourusername

yourusername 😘

charlottewright so adorable!! (I’m talking about Oscar ofc)

jackgrealish Nice one mate 😊

-

You only have a couple of days to enjoy your little bubble of reunion bliss before Ben is back into the thick of training at Cobham.

His first match of the season is a home game at Stamford Bridge, and you can’t wait to see him playing for the club again after a couple months off.

The morning of the game, you and Charlotte get ready in your matching Chelsea shirts - yours with Chilwell on the back, hers with Mount.

It’s a different experience entirely being at the Bridge now that your relationship is known to the public. You can feel many eyes on you and Charlotte as you make your way to your seats.

It’s an exciting match against Leeds, with the score tied 1-1 at halftime. You’re happy to see Ben is playing very well, among one of the best performances you’ve ever seen from him, and even assisted a goal for Conor in the first fifteen minutes.

You’ve always cared about football, about your club winning, but never like this. You’re so invested that it’s like you’re on the pitch yourself, wincing at every bad pass and jumping up in your seat every time the ball reaches the penalty area.

Your brother texts you during the break, and you can’t help but chuckle at his message.

Max - 3:48PM Your boy’s on fire 🔥

You - 3:49PM Yeppppp 💙

Max - 3:50PM You’re whipped sis 😉

Although you roll your eyes and ignore your brother’s message, he isn’t wrong. It’s almost frightening how much Ben consumes your every thought, how you have to force yourself to concentrate on work throughout the day rather than the way he touched you the night before or the sweet texts he sends you while he’s at training.

You’ve almost told him you love him a couple times now, but you keep chickening out at the last minute. You know it’s true from the very bottom of your heart and the depths of your soul, but you’re terrified of saying it.

Things are getting pretty serious between you two, there’s no denying that. You definitely get the vibe that Ben feels the same way you do, but he’s still a twenty-something and a professional athlete and, frankly, a super fit guy.

Despite how it may seem, you can’t help but feel a bit worried that it will all end, that he’ll get sick of you and move on to the next girl or decide he needs to focus on football.

“You alright?” Charlotte asks you as the second half begins.

You quickly snap out of your train of thought and nod, focusing once again on the match.

Things remain heated as the game continues, with Chelsea playing a strong defense but struggling to move forward. As they move into added time, it’s looking like it’s going to be a draw - not the result you hoped for, but a point nonetheless.

It happens so quickly you barely have time to react, but one moment the Leeds defender has possession and a second later, Ben has the ball and is running quickly toward the goal. The other team tries to stop him, but he deftly avoids their efforts to tackle him and kicks the ball toward the net.

Your breath catches in your throat as you wait to see if it went in, and then the stadium erupts with cheers.

You and Charlotte both jump up and down and hug each other tightly, overwhelmed with excitement at such an incredible goal in the final moments.

“Shit, I think I might actually like football now,” Charlotte laughs as you settle down a bit.

The both of you run down to the tunnels, trying to beat the foot traffic of the many fans exiting the stadium and get to your boys as quickly as possible.

There’s an electric atmosphere in the changing room when you get down there, one of the assistant coaches recognizing you and letting you in. The boys are blaring music and passing beers around, obviously happy with this great start to the season after struggling in the last one.

Ben thrusts his beer bottle into Reece’s hand when he sees you and runs over to you. You meet him halfway and jump into his arms. The excitement has both of you a bit carried away, as you immediately start kissing passionately in front of all his mates.

A few of the lads - and Charlotte - wolf whistle as you kiss him, running your fingers through his sweaty hair, but you couldn’t care less.

“Oi, Chilly, get a room!”

Ben breaks the kiss, probably to tell the guys to bugger off, but another thought seems to occur to him as he takes your hand and leads you down the hall and into an empty physio room.

He dives in to kiss you again, and after a few quick pecks, you pull back and hold his face in both hands.

“What is it, love?” Ben asks you, a smile still on his face.

You admire his bright eyes, his winning grin and contagious energy for a moment, moving your hands to his biceps and squeezing softly.

“It’s just…you,” you admit shyly, your cheeks a bit rosy. “You were so incredible today, and I always love watching you play, but this match was really something else. You’re so special, Ben, both on and off the pitch, and I just-“

“I love you,” Ben exhales, his wide eyes staring into yours.

You stare back at him from a moment, trying to process his words. “You…”

“I love you, Y/N,” he repeats, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

The grin on your face is blinding as you wrap your arms tighter around his neck, replying those words over and over again in your mind.

Ben loves you, and everything is perfect.

“I love you too, Ben,” you say softly, brushing your nose against his.

He smiles just as bright as he leans in to kiss you again, this time holding your waist tightly and bringing you flush against his body.

It’s a bit of a challenge to kiss at first with how much you’re both smiling, but then Ben starts to trail kisses down your neck and your breath hitches.

Without a second thought, you instinctively reach down to tug his shirt off, wanting to feel every inch of his skin against yours.

“Is the door locked?” you mumble as he helps you remove his shirt and then reaches for yours.

“Yeah,” Ben breathes against your lips, squeezing your waist. “Are you sure? I don’t have much time, I need to shower and go do press-“

“We’d better be quick then,” you grin, pulling the shirt with his name on the back up and over your head.

Ben stares at you in complete awe for a few seconds before reaching out and hoisting you up into his arms, carefully setting you down on the physio table.

He helps you out of your jeans quickly before pulling down his shorts, and you can see how hard he already is for you. You know you’re ready for him, too, feeling the familiar ache between your thighs as his strong arms maneuver you so you’re at his entrance.

“You ready, love?” he mumbles against your lips as he pulls your knickers down.

You nod once and he slides into you, both of you inhaling sharply at the contact. He begins to quickly thrust into you as you cling to his shoulders.

“You feel so good, baby,” Ben moans into your neck. “Can’t believe - can’t believe you’re mine-“

“I’m all yours, Ben,” you say, cutting yourself off with a high-pitched moan as he hits a particularly sensitive spot inside you. “You looked so good out there today, I couldn’t wait to have you inside me…”

“Fuck, Y/N,” Ben groans, your words obviously encouraging him as he begins to thrust harder and faster into you. “I’m not gonna last long-“

“And when you scored that goal…you made me so proud, Ben,” you continue, kissing his shoulder. “I love you so much-“

“Babe, I’m gonna-“

Ben lets out a low moan as he comes, his face buried in your neck. You run your fingers through his hair as he rides it out, him leaving little kisses on your collarbone before eventually pulling out of you and grabbing a couple tissues to clean both of you up.

“Sorry, baby, couldn’t help it,” Ben laughs softly, leaning in to kiss you on the lips before tugging his underwear back on. “You talking about the match like that, and telling me you love me…”

He stares at you in disbelief for another moment, and you pull him back into your arms to rest your forehead against his.

“It’s alright,” you smile. “You deserved a little reward for that goal. And because I love you.”

“I love you too,” Ben says again, a massive grin on his face.

He begins to trail kisses down your breasts and toward your stomach, and as much as you don’t want it to stop, you place a hand on his shoulder and gently push him away.

“I can’t leave you hanging, babe!” Ben protests, and you just lovingly roll your eyes.

“You’ve got interviews, and you really need a shower first,” you tease him, making Ben furrow his eyebrows in response. “You can finish me off later.”

“Oh, I intend to,” Ben smiles. “Many, many times.”

With the anticipation of that happening when you get home, you rush to get dressed and get Ben back into the changing room as soon as possible so he can get any press he has to do over with.

“There’s our man of the match,” Kai chuckles as you walk back in, clapping Ben’s shoulder.

Ben is still holding your hand, and Charlotte and Mason rush over to you guys, Charlotte discreetly reaching out to fix your hair. You realize it must still be visibly messy from your little rendezvous, meaning it’s probably fairly obvious what you and Ben just did - if it wasn’t already.

“Looks like Chilly scored twice today,” Mason jokes, only loud enough for the four of you to hear, and you elbow him in the ribs as Ben glares at him and Charlotte laughs.

“Shut it, Mount,” you roll your eyes before turning back to Ben. “Go shower, I’ll see you after the interviews.”

“Okay,” Ben smiles, jogging off to the showers.

You watch him go before turning around to chat with Charlotte and Mason, trying to tame the blush arising on your cheeks. You’re not really that embarrassed, though - you and Ben have been together for months now, and you’re not ashamed to reward your man for such a performance.

As you’re asking Mason a question about the game, you feel a hand grab your waist, and before you can react you’re being pulled into one more kiss.

“Ben,” you chuckle against his lips, “what’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing, I just love you,” he says casually but loud enough for everyone to hear, planting one more kiss on your lips before running away again.

All the boys laugh and cheer as Ben disappears once again into the showers, leaving you standing there completely smitten and totally overwhelmed by how much you love this man.

You feel like you’re floating on a cloud, and at this moment, you don’t think there’s anything that could bring you down.

-

benchilwell

📍 Stamford Bridge

liked by yourusername, masonmount and others

benchilwell Good start to the season back at the Bridge 💙

tagged: chelseafc

yourusername Amazing game 💙💙💙

chelsfangirl Omg they are so cute

bluesforever If Chilly having a gf means he plays like that then I’m here for it

yourusername via stories

hope you enjoyed the fluff...before the storm 🤯

next chapter 💙

[cosmobrain00]

ok pt.1 of the official time travel break it insanity post tht will only be slightly coherent: GO!!

(n bf we start, this is going off of the assumption its a single person traveling back in time, bc it would be a whole other discussion w multiple ppl)

first off, as I said in my tags, I see sm ppl think its going to be a true “solution" when a v fallible character, who usually can only know So Much of their own experience goes back to "fix things", when in reality, most times the potential for it to be way WORSE is like. Right There. ESP when they keep this fun fact to themselves n will Not say anything to anyone for guilt reasons, pride reasons, or bc they simply think its for the “best”, etc, bc we all know the best way to “fix smthing” is to keep it to ourselves n only allow our biased view of smthing to direct our actions, right?

(also side note to this, but its ironic how smtimes trying to avoid things is the best way to literally make it Worse, but I digress)

anyways, maybe this isnt wht ppl were expecting, but I think a rlly under explored element of time travel “fix its”, it the absolute memory fuckery tht could arise due to it. u think a character who’s probs been thru smthing awful enough tht it requires time travel to fix it is going to be at their best? haha no. definitely not. no matter how many notebooks they keep, no matter how many things they try to retain, how r they going to rmber evrything? will they be able to step outside of themselves n see tht harmless butterfly effect tht screwed evrything ovr in the first place? probably not, esp if they go at it alone. n yk, just bc a character has gotten "older" n possibly "more mature", doesn't mean they'd come at this level headed a lot of the time, esp depending on how severe evrything ended up- n also btw, wouldnt it be hard to keep both timelines "straight"? wht has/ hasn't happened yet? stuff like tht

(also ik its a “situation to situation” thing but for now this is simply a general post ok? ok.)

n this, ofc, can lead to two of the biggest elements: paranoia n the fear of being “too late” once again, which. wow. perfect combo to absolutely ruin evrything once again, huh?

paranoia could be abt their own mental state, could be abt the ppl arnd them (even if they r, in fact, doing this all for them), could be even abt the smallest things tht end up snowballing into an actual Thing, n ofc, paranoia tht they r going to fail again n tht they r ultimately running a race against time itself, which is true, but also, best way to fuck evrything ovr again or worse is to pressure urself w a deadline, even if in a way, its unavoidable.

I have a LOT more to say, but, tldr for this section: most characters r ultimately human w limited knowledge, even if they r aware of events from the future, causing them to act on their biases, possibly regress back into bad habits, break their relationships even further due to their fear, paranoia, etc, as well as pressure themselves to “make a move” bf its too late, which ultimately could lead them into fucking things up even further/ sooner n making an even bigger mess of the situation. n I havent even dived into the inaction bit of this, among several other things yet. LMAO

[mikodrawnnarratives]

Tw vent

Tw (implied) self harm (just bruising)

Flash warning too

Animation go brrrrr I spent like 10+ hours on this

started on this for shits and giggles the other day just to get out my feelings and. I think it turned out purty neat so I'll share it with the ppls that clicked read more. I hope that means u know these things don't trigger u...

I will say do feel better now than when I got started on the animation. prob won't last terribly long though it does depend on how bad my self hatred gets

the escapism is the fine distraction tho. fine cuisine. And slep. I need it after getting like 6 hrs consistently every night this week

I'm not gonna elaborate on this btw. Maybe defeats the purpose of a vent idk. Just, if you know u know. It isn't cutting sh but i will say the closest thing online to my struggles is baby cut syndrome (not an official term) (vid abt it)

which is the most FUN thing ever as you can imagine LOL

/light hearted /sarcasticcc

I'll just leave it up for anyone that might get it.

I don't know how long I'll keep this up for. Might delete ltr probably will delete ltr we'll see. I like how it looks enough that my brain hasn't said im cringe yet. wip self sona is basically "you've heard of tv heads? get ready for FILM PROJECTOR"

heh

oh and I drew a design im playing around and tweaking with for my self sona. Who knows if I'll ever actually use it but who knows

I'm not gonna put this under my regular art tag since i don't really want this with my other art stuff that mostly never talks about sh

Edit: y'know what. I think I will put it under my art tag. I've given the right warnings so it should be fine..

[madam-rabbit]

DBZ KakaVege AO3 (Kakarot x Vegeta) Stories - Constantly Updating List.

My own AO3 account, @ RaditzsLittleNerd. I'm working on one story, I bookmarks stories and I may write more stories in the future as well! (Slow updates.)

__BDSM__

Rose created by schloprecetacle

Son Goku/Vegeta, Son Goku, Goku Black, Vegeta (Dragon Ball), kakavege week

Warnings - Rough Sex, BDSM themes, Explicit Sexual Content, Violent Sex, Face Slapping, Choking

Summary

Goku indulges Vegeta's fantasy about their newest enemy. Kakavege Week Prompt #9: Goku Black.

Language: English  Words: 1,664  Chapters: 1/1  Collections: 2  Comments: 20  Kudos: 395  Bookmarks: 51  Hits: 5901

Wild created by schloprecetacle

Son Goku/Vegeta, Uke Goku, Super Saiyan Sex

Warning - Graphic Depictions Of Violence, BDSM, Spanking

Summary

Vegeta sees something wild inside Goku and decides to give him what he craves. Graphic sex, violence and some BDSM themes. Kakavege Week Prompt #15: Uke Goku.

Series

Part 1 of Wild

Language: English  Words: 3,660  Chapters: 1/1  Collections: 2  Comments: 20  Kudos: 445  Bookmarks: 69  Hits: 9024

Topped created by Yammy_kooki

Bulma Briefs/Vegeta, Bulma Briefs, Vegeta (Dragon Ball), i just wanted bulma to call vegetas ass a boy pussy, heres a 8k+ fic on good kink practice, and vegeta discovering his kink kjasdk

Warning - Pegging, Anal Fingering, Sex Toys, Feminization, Kink Discovery, Kink Negotiation, anal prep, Blow Jobs, Dom/sub Undertones, Lingerie, Rimming, Cunnilingus, Dry Orgasm

Summary

Vegeta baulked. His face flushed. "You...what?!" Bulma blushed as well, struggling to maintain her usual haughty, confident front. "I want to try pegging you. It's when I wear a fake cock -a strap-on- and fuck your-" "I know what pegging is!" Vegeta felt like he could faint. "Why would you want to do that?!"

Language: English Words: 13,463 Chapters: 2/2 Comments: 43 Kudos: 64  Bookmarks: 22  Hits: 628

Non-Professional created by Yammy_kooki

Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Raditz (Dragon Ball), Turles (Dragon Ball), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Saiyans Still Have Tails, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Flirting, Surprising Amount of Fluff, Smart Son Goku (Dragon Ball)

Warning - BDSM, Dom/sub, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Kink Exploration, Kink Discovery, Collars, Master/Pet, Rope Bondage, Cock Warming, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Sex Toys, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Multiple Orgasms, Temperature Play, Exhibitionism, Anal Fingering, Masturbation, Urethral Play, Whipping

Summary

Vegeta keeps getting dumped because of his boring sex life. To help him out, Raditz gives him the phone number of a...Saiyan sex consultant?! Join Vegeta as he discovers his kinks and try(and fail) to not fall in love with said consultant.

Language: English Words: 40,961 Chapters: 8/8 Comments: 71 Kudos: 207  Bookmarks: 31  Hits: 3786

Feel You In My Bones created by TeamDamon

Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Bulma Briefs/Vegeta, Chi-Chi/Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Bulma Briefs, Bulma is a good bro, the best wife really, she’s just lookin out for her veggie, idk how else to tag this, Goku is a himbo, Vegeta is a tad sexually frustrated but he doesn’t know it, Bulma has a solution, Bottom Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Bottom Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Top Son Goku (Dragon Ball), veggie’s a power bottom tho really, there’s some consensual punching/fighting when things start heating up, don’t know how to tag that but yeah it’s there, mildly drunk veggie, bribery of smol children, this story has officially gotten away from me and will prob be 388282 chapters, RIP me, its all consensual, thats right my dudes, they’re switching

Warning - Explicit Sexual Content, Choking, Voyeurism, Face Slapping, Bondage, some light BDSM happening, ki cuffs, Safewords, Spanking, Cave sex, Butt Plugs, Tail Sex

Summary

“I will not, nor will I ever, fuck Kakarot.” “Fine,” Bulma shrugged, reaching over to grab her sleep mask from her nightstand. “Don’t. It was just a suggestion, not a command.” Vegeta crossed his arms and stared angrily at the back of her head as she turned off the light and laid down, her back to him as she let out a long yawn. “Besides,” she muttered casually, “I figured Goku would be the one doing the fucking anyway.” Vegeta’s jaw dropped. — Aka where Bulma knows what her husband needs and makes sure that he gets it. Formerly titled “Just Wanna Taste It”.

Language: English Words: 62,042 Chapters: 9/9 Collections: 3 Comments: 197  Kudos: 1428  Bookmarks: 314  Hits: 26394

__HEAT__

Side Effects created by cosmicmewtwo

Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Son Goku, Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Sex Pollen, Weird Alien Physiology, kakavege week prompt: Poison, ... this is a godless amalgamation of every trope I said I'd never write, .......and we're never speaking of it again

Warning - Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Bites, irresponsible handling of questionable pharmaceuticals

Summary

Vegeta accidentally exposes himself to a strange chemical in Bulma's lab.

Language: English Words: 4,779 Chapters: 1/1 Collections: 2 Comments: 21 Kudos: 952 Bookmarks: 128 Hits: 8454

Kuvusa created by orphan_account

Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Top Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Bottom Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Hyperbolic Time Chamber | The Room of Spirit and Time, Saiyan Biology, Saiyan Instincts, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, I am a ridiculous sappy sap, Warning: too much sweetness teeth will rot, Can’t write smut without love it’s how I roll

Warning - Mating Cycles/In Heat, Anal Sex, Tail Sex, Self-Lubrication, Double Penetration in One Hole, Multiple Orgasms

Summary

Every Saiyan went through it, their version of puberty. It usually occurred around the age of sixteen, sometimes fifteen, very occasionally fourteen, and it wasn’t a big deal. One day of self-care—in all senses of the word—and a Saiyan was over it the next day. Vegeta went through it himself and was fine. Goku, though, had his tail cut off too early. Vegeta found this out first hand, a year into training inside the Room of Spirit and Time.

Language: English Words: 7,967 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 37 Kudos: 401 Bookmarks: 78 Hits: 5095

__Romantic/Comfort Sex__

Take Care created by orphan_account

Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Top Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Bottom Vegeta (Dragon Ball)

Warning - Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Blood and Injury

Summary

Goku knew when Vegeta wasn’t okay, and he knew what to do when that happened.

Language: English Words: 2,051 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 7 Kudos: 154  Bookmarks: 29  Hits: 2224

22 Years, 5 Months, 20 Days created by zuzallove

Son Goku/Vegeta, Kakarot. Vegeta, Bulma Briefs, King Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Bardock (Dragon Ball), Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Raditz (Dragon Ball), Freeza | Frieza, Freeza's Army | Frieza's Army, Nappa (Dragon Ball), Saiyan Culture, kakavege, Saiyan AU, Planet Vegeta, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Goku is smart, Vegeta is emotionally constipated, Eventual Happy Ending, One Shot, Canon-Typical Violence, h/c, Mating Bond

Warning - Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Mpreg, Anal Sex, Tail Sex, Mating Bites, Smut, Explicit Language

Summary

Kakarot is Vegeta's assigned sparring partner when they are 4 and 6 years-old. Vegeta absolutely hates him. But as the years go by, Bardock's brat seems to be the only one who can hold Vegeta's attention for more than a minute. He hates him, but he can't live without him. Only two problems with that: there's a war on, and Vegeta has to mate whomever his father picks out for him. Saiyan!AU.

Language: English Words: 19,026 Chapters: 1/1 Collections: 1 Comments: 99 Kudos: 1551 Bookmarks: 284 Hits: 15957

Unfinished Business created by Vakaara

Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Room of Spirit and Time, bad memories, sort of skirting hurt comfort, baths and awkwardness, Vegeta has Issues, Goku is actually pretty clueless sometimes, Canon Typical Violence, Nightmares, a lot of tension, I just wanted to write about these two interacting more when they were still ‘enemies’, like a lot, Pre-Slash, more or less

Warning - Major Character Death, Masturbation, Dirty Dreams, canon present character death

Summary

What if Vegeta and Goku had taken a day or a year to train in the Room of Spirit and Time, before fighting Cell?

Series

Part 1 of Under My Skin

Language: English Words: 14,719 Chapters: 8/8 Comments: 52 Kudos: 280 Bookmarks: 40 Hits: 3663

__True Love (No Smut)__

Love is Blind created by TrishML

Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Son Goku, Vegeta, Angst, Old Age, True Love, Sad

Warning - Death

Summary

Goku and Vegeta grow old together...

Language: English Words: 2,022 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 17 Kudos: 60 Bookmarks: 6 Hits: 459

__THREESOMES / ORGY__

The Proportion created by GoldenMama

Bulma Briefs/Vegeta, Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Bulma Briefs/Son Goku/Vegeta, Bulma Briefs/Son Goku, Bulma Briefs, Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Son Goku (Dragon Ball),

Warning - Explicit Sexual Content, Birthday Sex, Threesome - F/M/M, Sexual Fantasy, Tail Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Light Bondage, Roleplay

Summary

The Saiyans have their tails back, and Bulma’s questions are relentless. She asks the boys to enlighten her (for the sake of science, of course). Will they satisfy more than just her thirst for knowledge?

Series

Part 1 of No I in Threesome

Language: English Words: 10,154 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 17 Kudos: 86 Bookmarks: 28 Hits: 2314

Sensation created by gutterbunnyx

Chi-Chi/Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Bulma Briefs & Son Goku, Bulma Briefs & Chi-Chi, Bulma Briefs/Chi-Chi, Chi-Chi/Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Son Goku, Chi-Chi (Dragon Ball), Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Trunks Briefs, Bulma Briefs, Lingerie, Minor Original Character(s), Bottom Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Men Crying, Mommy Chi-Chi, Lipstick, Bulma and Chi-Chi totally do it offscreen, Bulma likes to watch, Bathing, Shopping

Warning - Public Humiliation, Crossdressing, Nipple Play, Humiliation Dirty Talk, Feminization, Breast Fucking, Rough Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Breeding, Unsafe Sex, Goku in lingerie, Aftercare

Summary

Goku indulges in a guilty pleasure.

Language: English Words: 9,279 Chapters: 6/6 Collections: 1 Comments: 32 Kudos: 148 Bookmarks: 12 Hits: 2848

__DARK CONTENT__

Sex Addicts Anonymous created by herpb4uderp

Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Chi-Chi (Dragon Ball), Human AU, no powers, Alternate Universe - No Powers, sex addicts anon, Addicts Anonymous, Compulsive sexual behavior, mature thematic content, Adult Language, adult topics, Angst, Denial, psychopathy at its finest, Interventions, Psychosis, did i already say bad coping mechanisms?, Bad coping mechanisms, the worst, unconventional forms of rehab, Psychological Thriller, Psychological Drama, S L O W B U R N

Warning - Graphic Violence, Manipulation, Withdrawal, Cravings, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Dark, psychotic character

Summary

Vegeta did not show up here because he needed "help." He showed up because he knew it would be... easy. But help often finds us in the ways we least expect it. And sometimes it even finds us in the ways... we wish it didn't.

Language: English Words: 53,365 Chapters: 21/21 Comments: 312 Kudos: 317 Bookmarks: 51 Hits: 5485

Liminal Spaces created by Iced_Sympathy

Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Hyperbolic Time Chamber | The Room of Spirit and Time, Infidelity, Naive Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Canon Compliant, Dubious Consent, Porn With Plot

Warning - Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Sexual Violence, Dark, Sadism, Masochism, Bloodlust, Edging, Prostate Milking, Somnophilia, Marathon Sex, Breathplay

Summary

To prepare for the Tournament of Destroyers, Vegeta and Goku spend three years in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber training. Vegeta suggests exploiting the Saiyan ability to recover stronger after being beaten to near-death. It was supposed to keep them focused, but instead Vegeta is forced to confront the not-so-friendly feelings he has for his rival. [Hiatus until my Death Note kick calms down]

Language: English Words: 22,818 Chapters: 8/15 Comments: 158 Kudos: 208 Bookmarks: 33 Hits: 4006

Home Alone created by schlopreceptacle

Son Goku/Vegeta, Raditz/Son Goku, Raditz/Son Goku/Vegeta,

Warning - Masturbation, Mpreg, Sibling Incest, Sexual Fantasy

Summary

A pregnant and horny Vegeta gets some alone time to explore a deep, dark fantasy. Kakavege Week Prompt #30: Mpreg. Content warning for graphic sexual content and brief incest.

Language: English Words: 1,199 Chapters: 1/1 Collections: 1 Comments: 14 Kudos: 231 Bookmarks: 26 Hits: 4701

[binickandros]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @staceymcgillicuddy. Thanks!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

42! I have more on ff.net.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,612,657. She a chatty bjtxh.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

rn just Stranger Things, but in the past I've written for Criminal Minds (that's sort of...ongoing, I guess), L&O:SVU, The X-Files, Sailor Moon, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Sons of Anarchy, The Stand, and Homicide: Life on the Street. Also there's my roosthoard crackfic.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sharp as Nails, Soft as Honey (hellcheer)

You've Earned It (Barba/Carisi from SVU)

Longing (Juice/Chibs from SoA)

Come With Me Tonight (Juice/OC, SoA)

The Space Between (hellcheer)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I forget and then I feel awkward replying like ages later. I never replied to a bunch on Space Between and feel bad about it. :/ So now I try to respond right away bc I want ppl to know how much I appreciate their support.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None of my fics end angstily. They might have angsty events, but everything always resolves happily. I write fic to fix shit, not to make it worse!!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ummmmm...lol! Probably the sort-of crackish sequel to Come WIth Me Tonight, Under My Skin. Juice, Chibs, and my OC move to a Greek island and raise goats and bees and have sex all the time. What could be better??

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not lately, but Come With Me did get some bullshit, mostly bc the SoA fandom didn't like the idea of a more submissive Juice Ortiz (dumb, frankly), and they just in general like to hate on OCs.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yup. Didn't start until my spn fic, Half of Something Else, but since then yeah. Most of them have had smut. Sometimes it's more vanilla, but I usually do prefer to play with power dynamics. Some have outright D/s stuff goin on, but I usually don't get that "formal" with it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've got the crack-ish roosthoard fic, which I plan on turning into a series, and once I tried to write an X-Files/CriMi but couldn't really get anywhere with it. So usually no, I don't.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know. I'm not popular enough, which is fine w me.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I was about to say no, but then I remembered back in the day someone translated my Sailor Moon fics. So yes!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sort of? Like, not officially, but nearly everything I write these days is at least partially co-written with @tonybourdain

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Oh gosh. Ummmm...okay, either Jon/Aryn from Farscape or Jaime/Claire from Outlander.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oh geez. I want to finish my Stand fic SO badly, but idk if it's gonna happen. Also my SoA fic Get You In. I know what I want to happen, but writing it is the hard part. :/ But the one I know I'll probably never finish is Collide, my SVU fic. Like the other two could get finished some day, but that one? Prob not.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, esp banter. I think I'm pretty funny. Also giving my sentences and paragraph a certain rhythm. I have a good ear.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get stuck in ruts. Like repeating myself a lot.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done bits and pieces of other languages in my fic, but if I needed anything more complex or longer, I'd get someone who spoke whatever language to help me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Homicide: Life on the Street, I think. Then very shortly after that, The X-Files. Or maybe vice versa I don't remember.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I really really love my spn fic Half of Something Else. There's this whole bit that takes place near a swamp that I just adore. But also my SoA magnum opus, Come With Me Tonight. I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into that baby.

Right now I'm really enjoying my current hellcheer WiP, With Teeth. I think it's gonna be good.

I'm gonna tag @anniecrestaodairs, @prosopopeya, and @lightsaroundyourvanity

[tinandabin]

Hello. I recently saw you Creator's Beloved series and I have to say it is nice to see someone making something of the idea. I like the idea quite a bit and have a couple of takes on something similar myself that i will now share with you to spread the brainrpts and plot bunnies.

From the Creator and the reader being soulmates with the reader rejecting them as a result of the acolytes not believing a mortal of another world could be destined to be with their god or goddess and ruining their relationship only to end up then running around trying to fix it because their god is a heartbroken mess, while the reader pressures the broken god to just send them back home to those they love.

To the creator being in love with them but the reader already being married to characters from another game *cough Azur Lane cough* that wind up tagging along with them to teyvat and either trying to join in or just support them from the side while the acolytes try and get them together.

Also there is reader from Arknights who uses the Creator's love to coerce them into helping them find a cure for oriopathy so their people can be happy.

Maybe reader who treats a soul bond with the creator or their marriage as nothing but a political marriage, devoid of love and passion in order to benefit their people who have been pulled to teyvat from a post apocalypse world, like Frostpunk for example.

Then there is the idea if the nation's putting the Creator's Beloved through tests to determine if they are worthy of their love...only for the reader to not know about these tests being trials and just think the people are assholes and decide to either just throw away the bond they share with the creator and live a quiet life with the hilibros or reveal themselves to be a former monstrously powerful fighter who just wanted some peace and quiet but is now on the path of killing everyone and leaving the cities red before the creator interferes and resurrects everyone...only to have their love reject them and demand to be returned home or be left alone.

And my most recent brainrot of this idea with the reader already being happily married to the big bad of another universe who is a doting and over protective lover, think something like Sauron or the Lich King, maybe genderbent versions of them, and them bot being happy at this upstart for taking their beloved from them. Time to teach them their place, beneath their boot.

So what do you think of them, I have a couple more but I figure this is enough of a read for now lol.

I really like most of the ideas, and originally I was gonna go with the 'soulnate type au' as u first stated but then that wouldn't be possible because how will the other archons also be obsessed with reader? I mean, unless it is possible for 1 person to have 70 soulmates. If I use this idea I would have to limit the love interest.

I was also thinking of making the reader the creator's child and for the love interests to gain his approval to have u. but that just doesn't sit right with me so that idea discarded.

the other idea u stated of reader thinking of their relationship with the creator as a political alliance because people from our world ( where an apocalypse is going on ) have been ise-kaied teyvat ) and to save our people reader gets with the creator. I personally don't think I will be using this idea, tho it is a great one and I will prob make some scenarios on it ( which don't occur in the official series )

I really like the idea of reader going full rampage and killing everyone in teyvat while creator runs behind then and keeps reviving the people LMFAOO.

I think I will mostly be going with the soulmate au with limited love interests, rest will be or maybe some other idea where it can be a harem.

[itsallyscorner]

Just saw your little mix!reader au (LOVED IT) and I was thinking, what if y/n is kinda like Perrie aka the queen of leaking things and she's dating Tom and everyone makes fun of them bc they are THE couple that keeps spoiling/leaking stuff

Hello lovey!! Thank you for requesting and reading my other work, it’s very much appreciated!🥰 I love this request sm, omg. Happy reading, I hope you like it!💖

💌.

The King and Queen of Leaking

I had WAY too much fun with this request...enjoy!🥰

It had been a regular day in your household. You were in the kitchen starting up on breakfast while Tom was in his makeshift gym doing his morning workout. You were just finishing up on the eggs when your phone pinged. Glancing at your phone you saw that it was a text from Jade.

Jade💜: Babes! Check you email ASAP!!!

The texts in the band’s group chat began to flood in making you curious. Have you all done something to get in trouble with management? Maybe it was an awards nomination? Turning off the stove, you place the last pile of scrambled eggs onto Tom’s plate. After you set the plates on the table, you pull out one of the dining chairs and sit on it, pulling out your phone to see more texts from the girls.

Perrie🦋: Oh.My.God. I CANT BELIEVE IT!!!

Leigh-Anne😻: AHHHHHH THIS IS BIG!!! FIRST NUMBER ONE OF THE YEAR!!!

Jesy💖: I’m so so so SO proud of us!!! And our fans omg, they’re amazing!! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

Jesy💖: Where the hell is (y/n)???

Jade💜: Probs busy with Tom👀🍆💦

Perrie🦋: Has she not seen the news yet??

Leigh-Anne😻: Based on her lack of response, I’m guessing she’s busy😉

Jesy💖: (Y/N) I SWEAR HOP OFF TOM’S BLOODY DICK, SWEET MELODY IS NUMBER 1 ON THE CHARTS!!!!!

You gasp once you read Jesy’s last message. Your fingers move rapidly across your screen, exiting the messaging app to open up your email. The anticipation builds up in your body as you refreshed your inbox. Your leg bouncing as the little circle that went around and around popped up on your screen. For the last couple of days and weeks, your fans have been streaming Sweet Melody to top the charts and get it to Number 1. It has only been 10 weeks since “Confetti” has been released and the album has been getting an amazing response. Seeing your fans’ determination to get the song up the charts made your adore them even more and you just wanted to hug and thank every single one of them. You guys had the most amazing fans in the world, though many celebrities claimed that theirs were the best, Mixers were the crème de la crème in your eyes.

Your inbox refreshes and the first email you see is from the Official Charts Company, a company that celebrated singles that reached number one on the charts. You click on the email and carefully skim through the paragraph. When you read that Sweet Melody had officially charted at number one you let out an excited squeal. Tessa, who has been sitting beside your seat, jumped up to her feet the same time you did. Your crouched down as she happily bounced around you.

“Number one Tess! We made it to number one!” You squealed as you gently squished her face. She let out a bark before licking your face.

“Let’s go tell daddy the news, huh? Let’s go!” You couldn’t contain your excitement, the feeling rushing through your veins. You felt like your heart could burst from all the happiness you were currently feeling.

You practically ran to where Tom was, your feet moving as quick as your heartbeat. Tessa’s nails clicked against the wooden floors echoing in the hallway.

Tom, who had just finished his workout, heard the commotion outside. Your excited squeals and the sounds of both your and Tessa’s feet getting closer to him. The stomps came to a halt once you stopped at the doorway of his “gym”. He looks up from his phone and looks at you expectantly. You were beaming, like the sun that brought light into the room. His expression mirrors yours, but his smile was a bit more confused.

“Hi darling, what’s up?” He asks, removing his AirPods and placing them back into their case. You squeal excitedly once again as you run across the room and stand in front of him. Though, it was as if your feet had springs in them because you couldn’t stop jumping. Tom looks at you amused but was still confused.

“(Y/n), what did you do, love?” He asks. Maybe you were up to something?

You stop jumping for a bit and unlock your phone, shoving it into his face. He moves his face back so his eyes can focus but ends up taking the phone from you because you were moving too much. As you dance around the room, Tessa joining in on your little fiesta, Tom reads the email to himself. Once he reads the news his jaw drops looking up at you with wide eyes.

“NUMBER ONE BABY!” You scream before running into his arms. A look of shock is on his face before he screams “YES!” at the top of his lungs. Your legs wrap around his torso as his arms support your back and your bum. He starts shaking his hips and jumping around just like you were as you both celebrated your band’s huge success.

Your cheeks began to hurt from smiling too much, but you just couldn’t keep it off your face. You were too happy to keep a neutral face so you continued to smile. Tom looks up at you with the most proudest expression. He knew how hard you and the girls worked on every song on your albums, so to see that hard work being rewarded made him feel immense amounts of joy for you all.

You began to giggle as you hid your face behind you hands, Tom still carrying you. “I can’t believe this actually happened, oh my god.” Your voice came out muffled but Tom could still understand you. He chuckled while he placed your feet back to the ground. You leaned your head against his chest while his hands rubbed circles onto your back.

“Of course it happened love, you guys deserve it.” He places a kiss on your temple while he swayed you guys back and forth. His cheek resting against you hair as he held you. Your excitement boiling down to disbelief at the news.

He moved his head and gently removed your hands from your face. “Look at me.” Turns out you were silently crying, your tear stained cheeks making his heart drop, but then he noticed they were tears of joy.

You sniffled, smiling when Tom wiped some of your tears away. His hands cupped your cheeks while his eyes gazed at you lovingly, “You have no idea how proud I am of you— and the girls. You guys have worked day and night for this album to exist. I’ve seen you guys write each song and saw how much thought goes into each one, you guys are fucking incredible. Look at how much success it’s getting, you guys did that.”

You laughed as more tears ran down your cheeks. You groaned throwing your head back and wiping them away, “Well, I couldn’t have done it without you. You’ve been so understanding with everything and you managed to be one of my biggest inspirations for writing. Thank you. I love you so much.” You beamed at him before crashing your lips against his soft ones. You felt his lips curve up to a smile as his hands held your face. You suddenly pulled away, Tom chasing your lips, still stuck in your little moment.

“Oh my God! We need to tell the fans! They’ve been streaming for weeks!” You pecked his lips once more before rushing out the room. The excitement entering your body once again. Tom looks down at your phone in his hands smirking. He turned to Tessa, “Give her a few seconds.”

“MY PHONE!” He heard you exclaim in the hallway. Your head popped from behind the entrance. You skipped into the room and took the phone from Tom.

“I love you!” You sang, kissing his lips again, then skipping out to the hallway.

Before you can post anything of the band’s new achievement, you opened the group chat.

(Y/n)🌻: First off, I was far from Tom’s dick, I was actually cooking😌

(Y/n)🌻: Second, I love you all so much!!!!!! I can’t believe we did it, the amount of pride I feel to be part of this band is astronomical right now! Nine years together and we’re still making it, I love you guys!❤️❤️❤️

After you messaged the girls, you opened up Instagram. Meanwhile, Tom had joined you, dressed in new clothes and fresh out the shower. He hummed at the food on the table and pressed a kiss to your forehead, his way of silently thanking you. He sat in the chair beside yours and began to dig into his breakfast.

“Do you mind if I film a video real quick?” You ask him, looking into the camera as you fixed your hair. Tom wipes his mouth and swallows his food.

“Go ahead, tell the world you’re number one.” He teased you. You rolled your eyes though your lips were curved into a smile. You prepared yourself before pressing down on the circle.

Video:

“Hi guys! So I’ve just found out some amazing news and I thought you guys might want to hear it too—“ Tom began to drum on the table, making you look at him in amusement.

“Oh, that’s a good idea.” You nod, approving of his actions. When he stops drumming and points at you, you look back to the camera with a giant smile.

“Guys...WE MADE IT TO NUMBER ONE! SWEET MELODY IS AT NUMBER ONE ON THE CHARTS!” You announced, voice bouncing off the walls of your house. Behind you was Tom, also cheering equally as loud while he pumped his fists into the air.

“Thank you guys so much! The girls and I love each and every single one of you, you guys are the best fans in the world and we are forever grateful for you. Thank you!” You blew a kiss into the camera before ending the video.

You watched the video over then tagged the girls and the group’s Instagram. You quietly hummed Sweet Melody to yourself as you clicked around and added some stickers to your video. When you were content, you clicked on share and turned your phone off.

“Alright, celebratory breakfast.” You sang as you grabbed your fork and stabbed it into a strawberry.

Tom chuckled beside you and nudged your shoulder, “Then celebratory sex after?” You hummed at his suggestion, eyes teasingly squinting at him.

“Give me time to digest first. Then celebratory sex.” When Tom agreed you laughed and dug into your food. Everything was going great at the moment. Your song is number one on the charts, your career is flourishing, you had four amazing sisters, and you had the world’s best boyfriend. It was as if nothing could go wrong.

~half an hour later~

Tom had you pinned to the bed, light kisses scattering along your skin while his hands rubbed your thighs. With clothes still on, he was snuggled in between your legs, finding comfort in the tight space. He managed to get your top off leaving you in that red lacy bra he adored on you. His lips ghosted between the valley of your breast and down to your belly button. His lips stopping right above your sweatpants. He tilted his head back a bit to drink in your appearance. Hooded dark eyes, laid out before him, that red bra making your breasts look irresistible, you were perfect.

“Look at my pretty girl. Aren’t you stunning?” His voice was deeper than his usual chipper tone. The tone brought butterflies in your belly, the vibrations of his voice going straight to your core.

“I’m all yours, Tommy.” Your hand finds its way to the brown curls that rested on his head. You gently guide his head back up and pull his lips towards you. Your lips connect, first gently and almost innocent, but full of passion. The passion burns more when he presses his hard on against you, roughening up the passionate kiss, your teeths clashing and tongues wrestling. You were lost in his trance until your phone tinged.

Tom curses under his breath as you both jump from the sudden sound. You quietly apologize and mute your phone, not bothering to look at the notification. When you lay back on the bed, Tom’s palms press against you cheeks as he crashes you lips together. His hands move below you, tugging off your sweatpants. He was about to remove the last layer of clothing separating you two when your phone continuously began to vibrate. On the other night stand, Tom’s phone began to vibrate as well.

Your boyfriend groans plopping his head against your stomach. You sigh apologetically, hands now stroking his bare back.

“We should get that, seems important.” He kisses your stomach, hesitantly dragging himself off you. You roll over to your stomach and grab your phone.

Notifications

Jesy💖: We love you too my darling!! We miss you so much here in London:(

Perrie🦋: I would say let’s have a sleepover as soon as you come back from Atlanta, but the pandemic:( I miss you tons!!!🥺

Jade💜: I love youuuuuuuu❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Leigh-Anne😻: You absolute gem, I love you❤️

Jesy💖: (Y/n) what did you tag me in?

Jade💜: Wait, I’m tagged too.

Perrie🦋: I didn’t get tagged :(

Oh wait, I see it :D

Leigh-Anne😻: Why do I have a bad feeling about what she tagged us in?

Jesy💖: (y/n)?

(Y/N)!?

WHY IS SHE NOT REPLYING WHEN I NEED HER TO REPLY!

Perrie🦋: OIIII!!! AT LEAST IT WASNT ME THIS TIME🤪

Jade💜: Jesus, she’s turning into Tom, smh.

Leigh-Anne😻: She’s always been like this lmao

Tom’s only made her worse🙄

Jesy💖: (Y/N) DELETE YOUR FUCKING STORY ON INSTAGRAM THEY ARENT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT SM IS NUMBER ONE YET!!!!!!!!!!

Jade💜: I bet you NOW she’s busy with Tom

hehehe🍆💦👀

Leigh-Anne😻: Babes!!! Now’s not the time to be doing the deed with Tom!!

Jesy💖: Hold on let me text Tom too.

Your eyes widen as you read the messages from the girls. A string of “shits” with a mix of “fucks” fall continuously out your mouth. You struggle to turn around, getting tangled in the sheets. When you finally sit up properly you go to your Instagram and rush to your stories.

“Uh, (y/n)—“

“Yeah, I know, I know.” You frustratedly mumble as your thumbs fumble on the screen. You go to your story and don’t even hesitate to delete the video you posted just half an hour ago. Tom’s phone rings and you swear you hear him gulp. He answers it, putting it on speaker mode and holds it away from his ears.

“Tom Holland I blame you!” You hear Jesy’s voice through the phone. You double check if you deleted the story before turning your phone off and shoving your face into your pillow.

“I didn’t even do anything!” Tom defended himself, almost laughing. Honestly, as bad as the situation was, it was ironic how it was his girlfriend that leaked the news. You guys are really meant to be.

“The hell you weren’t! Literally drumming on the table, you div! I can’t with you two!” Jesy exclaimed. You knew she was joking by the tone of her voice. “Where is your girlfriend anyway?”

Tom giggle shoving the phone next to your ear, “My lovely girlfriend is right beside me.”

You hear Jesy gag, “Babe, did you even read the email properly?”

You lift your head from the pillow and take Tom’s phone. “No, I got too excited about getting number one.” You admitted pouting. Tom chuckles at you, moving to lay beside you. His arms wrapping around your almost bare figure and shoving his head in between your breasts. Nothing sexual but because they felt like soft pillows against his cheeks.

“They said they’re announcing it on Monday.” She informed you chuckling. You whined and facepalmed yourself. “It’s okay, hun. You were just in the moment, I know how you can get. Although, the fans absolutely love it.” She mentioned.

“Do they?” You asked stifling a laugh.

“Having an absolute field day, they’ve deemed you the Queen of Leaks. Apparently Tom’s been crowned as your king.” She teases. You feel Tom laugh against your chest, his shoulders shaking.

“Alright, I’ll go now, let you two get back to what you were doing. I suggest lurking through Twitter and Instagram, the fans’ reactions are hilarious.” You bid your goodbyes and hang up. Tom’s head pops up from your chest, “Can we please go through the reactions?”

“I was thinking the same thing.” You tell him already opening up Instagram. You go through your tags to see a bunch of memes. Tom shifts to sit beside you, throwing his arm around your shoulder.

Some fan reactions:

🖤 1,944 likes

Tom watching (y/n) make her video and being the supportive boyfriend he is🥺 They’re made for each other I swear

🖤 1,393 likes

The girls watching (y/n)’s story and finding out she just leaked the news. We stan our Queen of Leaks😌🙌🏼👑

🖤 1,838 likes

Tom realizing that (y/n)’s really the one because they both can’t keep secrets without spoiling them. This is why they don’t have good things smh.

🖤 1,878 likes

Jesy calling the police, not for Tom, but for her because she’s ready to shred that boy’s ass for turning (y/n) into him💀

You and Tom spend the rest of the day stuck in bed going through the different reactions from your fans. They were entertaining, making you and your boyfriend laugh at your fans’ humor.

While you sat in between his legs, your back against his chest, Tom leans down to nuzzle his face into your neck. He breaths in the scent of you mixed with your shampoo, something he would never get tired of. You feel that goofy grin press onto your skin making you look up at him.

“Why’s that look on your face?” You ask hun teasingly.

“Because the fans have a point.”

“That we both can’t keep shit to ourselves?” You laugh. Tom makes a sound of agreement pulling you closer.

“Well yeah—but when they say that we’re meant for each other, they have a point. You really are my soulmate.” The goofy grin on his face was permanently stuck to his lips. You giggled shifting to peck his lips. When he sees you struggle he meets you halfway, finally touching those soft luscious lips of yours.

“I guess I am.” You hummed contently, mirroring that lovestruck look on his face. There was no other person in the world that you’d be willing to spend this moment with. The more you stared into those honey brown eyes of his the more you believed your fans; he truly was your soulmate.

[chrisevansgoodgirl]

give me all your venom, i love that shit

summary: i do apologize. no one asked for this...but i accidentally watched assassination nation. okay, it was intentional the first time. but the twenty times after that while i was writing this were accidental. anyway...smut stuff. webcam smut with love of my life Andrew Barber.

warnings: cheating. age gap. andy gets a little dark. this is prob as dark as i would ever write this perfect, beautiful man. a million and one pet names also.

word count: around 11,100 lol oops

pairing: andy barber  x reader

a/n: so yes, age gap. it’s unclear what that is. go ahead and do what you will. it’s truly none of my business. also...one day, i’ll write in my tags ‘i’m gonna post tonight’ and actually post that night. not 300 nights later!

Laurie was a great woman, pretty much the kind of woman that you had always wished your mom would just wake up one day and feel completely compelled to act like. She was always so nice when she spoke to you, even the times you were clearly a little drunk and practically falling out of your tiny skirts.

She chalked it up to youth, so you’d once been told. That was huge in the little town you lived in. Mostly, if people saw all the skin you were showing, what they thought of you was clearly written all over their faces.

Laurie just liked talking to you. About anything. Everything. School, friends, boys, the future. This interest that she took in you didn’t end when you stopped babysitting for the Barbers, if anything, it made your conversations warmer. It was evident that the little time she could get with you was precious to her.

Jacob was the sweetest kid in the world. You had been apprehensive when she first called you. One reason only: babysitting boys was the worst. They were little demons and their parents either were blissfully unaware or did know and just didn’t care. You’d seen the same show for several years.

Not Jacob. And definitely not the Barbers. They were all so perfect and well-adjusted. You hadn’t been sure what to make of them those first few months. You had briefly suspected that both Laurie and Andy were total sociopaths who’d spawned another little sociopath. Come to find out, you just actually had such a fucked-up family situation.

Jacob loved playing video games with you, even though you were terrible at them. He never got upset when you made him lose, he just insisted that you needed to practice. Around the time you left, you’d started to get a little decent at them. He also enjoyed coloring and reading, two of your preferred babysitting activities.

Still, he was also an energetic little boy and that meant that he had dragged you outside sometimes to play very distracted versions of soccer, basketball, baseball a few times, and football once. Only once.

You’d both ended up covered in mud, it had been raining that morning but neither of you wanted to be deterred by that. When Laurie found you, she was horrified. Maybe a tad amused, seeing as she needed several pictures of the two of you.

You had wanted to walk home that night, the same thing you did after most shifts. The problem was, they had arrived home a bit later than usual. Laurie first, Andy about 10 minutes later. You didn’t want to walk through the house, so while Laurie was still threatening to hose off Jacob outside, you made your way around to the front porch.

Just as Andy was unlocking the front door.

Andy. He was easily the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on. Mostly, he was in these perfect god damn suits because he was a lawyer. Other times, he didn’t shy away from tight shirts that clung to his arms and chest, and jeans that did the same for his ass.

The coveted position of babysitting for the perfect, loving Andy and Laurie Baber. It was hilarious that it went to you because you were the only one who hadn’t been desperately trying to get it. All your friends would bend over backward, even though a friend of a friend of a friend, Julia Something, had claimed that Jacob was an utter hellion.

But what it came down to was the fact that Andy looked like he had been made by someone trying to create the perfect human being. Everyone was just looking for a way in and when you got it, no one could believe it. You hadn’t been as serious about babysitting. You liked the families you liked and tended to stick to three to five, but Laurie got your number from one of those mothers. How could you say no?

According to many of your friends, you should have. It was a betrayal, but one they couldn’t be too mad about because only an idiot would turn down an offer like that. They tended to pay generously also, so it took a total of three seconds to decide you were in.

He arched an eyebrow at you. “Back door locked?”

“No, I just didn’t want to walk through the house.”

“Right.” He gave you a once over before turning down to his phone. “Do I even want to know?”

That would officially mark the most words he’d ever said to you in one conversation. Laurie loved you, Jacob claimed that he was never, ever going to allow another babysitter to step inside his house, but Andy hardly even looked at you. That wasn’t uncommon. Most of the dads didn’t care, but those were the families that you didn’t stick with for too long.

“Football,” you explained.

He gave you a surprised look.

“But don’t get your hopes up or anything. Jacob sucks.”

He scoffed.

“Can you grab my bag? It’s just right by the door.”

“Heading home?”

“I should. My parents hate when I work this late, they’ve probably been texting me for the past two hours now.”

“Yeah, one sec.”

He didn’t close the door after him so you could hear Jacob excitedly screaming about his father being home. Andy was a great dad and Jacob idolized him just as much as he idolized Laurie. It was a beautiful family dynamic that sometimes still baffled you. Your family looked much different.

He returned with your bag.

“Thanks.” You took it and turned.

“Y/N!”

You looked back as Laurie was rushing out.

“Oh, don’t walk home, dear. Andy will drive you.”

The look on his face told you that he had not offered and that she hadn’t even run it by him before that moment.

“Oh, no, that’s okay,” you attempted to decline. “Honestly.”

“It’s late and cold.”

“I don’t want to get mud all over the car.” It was an expensive fucking car.

“Nonsense, it’s just a car,” Laurie insisted. “Besides, I paint the house a lot. I’m sure we have a few tarps still. Andy, will you go get one?”

He didn’t need further prompt to disappear inside. Laurie apologized for being late, you told her not to worry about it—more time with Jacob was never a bad thing. She thanked you for everything you did for them and you shyly accepted. She asked about your parents then, and before you had to give an elaborate answer, Andy was back with the tarp.

The drive was awkward.

It had started silent and you tried to hide away in your phone, but apparently, no one felt like texting you in that moment. Prior, your friends had been trying to talk to you nonstop, but wasn’t life just funny like that?

You felt like an idiot just staring out the window. This wasn’t anything you hadn’t seen around a thousand times before; he wasn’t even driving a different way. It looked like you were trying to avoid him and this insane, aggressive part of you just hated to appear weak or caught off guard.

Maybe it was your fault then. You were the one who spoke first and after that, things were just different. “How was work?”

It took him a moment to come up with a reply, and what a reply it was. “Fine. I guess.”

“Cool…” you sighed, clicked your tongue a couple of times, then glanced at him. He was staring forward, eyebrows pulled together, confused. Sure, he’d never taken much of an interest in you, and up to that point, as far as he knew, you’d never taken an interest in him. “What kind of lawyer are you?”

“What kind?”

“Like…a wife kills her husband for all of his money. Where are you in the courtroom?”

He chuckled. “I’m a public defender. I don’t normally get cases like that, unless my boss is trying to get on the good side of some irritating, rich people.”

You hummed. “You like it?”

“I do.”

“Cool.”

“Why all the questions? You want to be a lawyer?”

You snorted. “I was just curious. I don’t really hear you talk about work.”

He didn’t say anything else and you felt shot down in a sense. Most fathers were easy to talk to. They loved to hear their own voice and they loved how you pretended to like to hear every word. Obviously, Andy wasn’t in that group. At least a few of your friends had responded to your texts so it wasn’t terribly awkward. He said goodnight when you climbed out of the car, you said it back and closed the door.

You thought that was that.

After that, any time you babysat, he would drive you home. Laurie didn’t even have to say anything, it was just expected that he would do it. He was the one who spoke on the second drive because you weren’t going to try again. It was just stupid stuff. How you were doing with school. How your family was. How your friends were. How your boyfriend was. Because you had a boyfriend, right? He had asked but you knew that he knew you did, Laurie asked about him a lot. Andy never seemed to be paying attention.

That was how it was for almost a month. Then something just changed. The conversations became something else. He asked you where you wanted to go, you weren’t sure you wanted to leave Massachusetts, but you knew you wanted to put some miles between you and your family. He asked you about the future, where you saw yourself. He told you a little about himself, only what he had wanted his life to look like when he was your age.

He had believed he was going to be a high school history teacher.

It wasn’t weird. You didn’t talk to any of the other fathers like this, but it didn’t feel like something you shouldn’t be doing. He just liked talking to you and he actually wanted to hear what you had to say, what you thought about things.

It was innocent. Even when he started coming home early just to make sure he could drive you home. Even when you started taking your jacket off in the car or crossing your legs and pretending you didn’t notice that your skirt was riding up. Even when he looked at you and you acted like you didn’t see it. Even when you would end up sitting in his car, parked down the street from your house, just talking because he knew you didn’t want to go inside.

Perfectly innocent. For almost six months.

You were walking home from school when you got a text from Jacob. He couldn’t find his science project that you had helped him work on. You could have just told him where it was, but then you wouldn’t get the chance to stop by the Barber house. You showed up and Laurie happily invited you in. It was in the garage, something you pretended to remember after about an hour. Jacob had a play date so when his friend’s parents picked him up, Laurie asked you to stay for coffee.

You did. You wanted to extend your time there because even if he didn’t come home soon, Laurie would tell him you had been there. She would mention you and he would be thinking about you. Which is all you ever really wanted.

But sometimes your plans didn’t really work out. You had been turning down jobs, better-paying jobs, jobs you’d had far longer than the Barbers. They had been friends of your parents, it was how you met them, so typically, word got back to your mother. She felt you were the most irresponsible person in the world and didn’t fail to remind you of those feelings when she sent you seven texts and ordered you to get home.

You didn’t want to deal with the chaos of making her angry by spending any more time trying to see Andy. It was a failed attempt at getting closer to him, and as you were walking down the street, you were almost thankful. What the hell were you doing? Why were you trying to get closer to him? Jacob’s father, Laurie’s husband, your boss. That was it. That was all he could be.

But then, much earlier than you’d ever seen him, he was driving by you. You smiled, waved, but kept going. He was the one who circled back and told you to get in. You didn’t need to be told twice. You wanted to talk anyway, you wanted to tell him what was going on with your mother.

He parked down the street again. It wasn’t dark like it usually was but there was no one around. Everyone was staying warm inside. The heaters were on and you had draped your jacket over your legs. It was freezing but leaving the car was the last thing you wanted to do.

He only spoke when you had finished venting. And it wasn’t in the direction you had thought it would go. “You’ve been turning down jobs?”

Shit. You just shrugged. “A few, I guess.”

“Why?”

“I’m busy.”

“You’ve been around the house a lot more lately,” he pointed out. “Is that how you’ve been so busy lately? With Jacob? With us?”

“I…I just don’t feel like babysitting for them anymore.”

“Because you just want to babysit for us.”

“I don’t know,” you finally said. “I don’t know why I’ve been turning them down.”

“I know.”

You lifted your eyebrows.

He placed his hand on your thigh with absolutely no hesitation.

You couldn’t explain how good his skin felt against yours. Like after running a mile and then finally catching your breath. Or waking up and seeing that you still have hours before your alarm clock goes off. Like when you’re walking down the streets during October and the houses are all decorated. Like when you’re starving and you finally eat something you’ve been craving.

“You want to see me.”

“I like seeing Jacob,” you muttered. You saw his hand move up before you felt it, your breath audibly caught and you shuddered. Pathetic. Weak. Desperate.

“You come over almost every day.”

You turned up to him, trying to keep your voice level. “You come home early every day.”

“I want to see you,” he assured. “Just like you want to see me…right?”

You nodded.

“Because you feel something for me.”

You wanted him, that was the best way to describe it. So fucking bad, so bad you couldn’t think straight sometimes. So bad that when your boyfriend touched you, you nearly got physically sick sometimes. So bad that in your bed, at night, with your hand between your legs, you pictured Andy and no one else.

“And you feel something for me,” you countered.

“I do.”

Before you could respond, his phone was ringing. Laurie, oh god. He saw the look on your face but clearly had no interest in letting those logical emotions—shame, guilt, disgust—grow. “Give me your phone.”

You weren’t sure why you did so. He handed it back to you with a new contact. Under the name: Daddy. You closed your thighs, rubbing them together, catching his fingers where they were still laid over your leg. You were so wet, desperate for some friction.

“You’re going to go inside,” he started. “You’re going to go to your bedroom, strip down, get in front of your mirror, and fuck your fingers. You’re going to watch the whole time. Then, when you can’t take another orgasm, you’re going to send me a picture.”

“Of what?”

“Whatever you want.”

Your mind was reeling. You had never sent naked pictures before, but that was because you knew what would happen if you did. They would get shown to everyone. Andy couldn’t show anyone. Andy wouldn’t show everyone even if he could.

“Okay.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

You swallowed thickly. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Give me your panties,” he ordered. “I want to take them home.”

You wondered if he had done this before, if he did it often maybe. But did it matter? At the end of the day, that wasn’t going to make either of you any less terrible than you were being.

But there was just one problem with his request. “I’m not wearing any.”

His eyes dropped down. “You aren’t wearing panties?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“I think you do. Now, you didn’t plan on fucking me tonight. That’s too much too soon. But I am the reason…it wasn’t because you thought my fingers would end up buried in your pussy, not yet… Daddy wants an answer, baby girl.”

Baby girl. Oh, fuck. Instead of speaking again, you spread your thighs and brought your own hand up your skirt. You were soaking, something he could hear when you pressed your fingers down. Which was why you had decided to skip underwear. Any time he was around, in a suit, you were wet.

His hold tightened on your thigh and you let out this small whimper. It was almost deafening in that car.

You pulled your hand back and brought your drenched fingers up to the steering wheel. You just wanted to leave something for him without risking anyone seeing you both in a weird situation.

He leaned forward almost instantly, inhaling as his eyes shut. “Fuck, you smell exactly like I thought you would.” His tongue dipped out just slightly and he licked the slick off the steering wheel, groaning gently. “And you fucking taste…”

Your phone buzzed and you both startled. “Shit.”

Andy sat up, clearing his throat. “Go. Do what I said.”

You went to reach for the door, but he cleared his throat. Oh, god. After what you just did, could you even pretend that you hadn’t surrendered completely? “Yes.”

“Good girl.”

After that, it was all kind of just a blur. You quit babysitting, which was very hard. You really did love Jacob and you were sad for a very long time every moment you remembered that you weren’t going over there to see him. You were never going to that house again, at least that was what you had told yourself.

That meant you didn’t see Andy quite as often, which was probably for the best. But he saw you. Often. Very naked. You sent him nearly hundreds of pictures a month, dozens almost every night. He was never too busy for you and maybe you liked that, maybe that was what made you feel so special. Maybe it was just him, the way he looked at you during those awkward exchanges when your mother dragged you to the grocery store with her and you ran into them. Maybe it was when he would call you even though he was at the office once you got home because he wanted to hear you orgasm. Maybe it was after your boyfriend would drop you off at home—and Andy always knew because you told him, you weren’t going to lie, you had no reason to—and he would ask you if he touched you, if he made you come.

He was your age. Andy was much older. More experienced. He never failed to remind you that that meant he could make you feel so much better. You weren’t sure what you were doing, why you didn’t just break up with him. Security, probably. If Andy ever decided to end this. Whatever it was. At least you wouldn’t be alone.

When Laurie wanted something, she got it. It wasn’t because she was aggressive or just didn’t take no for answer. It was because she was such a good person, how could anyone feel okay disappointing her? You certainly couldn’t.

When she insisted that you come over for dinner, you knew it was wrong. You knew she would rightfully hate you if she knew what you were doing with her husband. You knew she would feel hurt by the both of you, betrayed, outraged, disgusted. But you went anyway, and it wasn’t to flirt with Andy. Sure, you had done that once or twice in the past, but not this time. This time was for Laurie because she missed you. You had quit so suddenly and then it was like you didn’t exist to her at all. You owed her this dinner.

The look on his face when he saw you in the living room told you that he hadn’t been told about this. He looked terrified, worried.

“Look who I ran into this morning!” Laurie called out from the kitchen. She was over the stove stirring some pasta and you were at the table looking at all of Jacob’s drawings he had done in the past few months since you’d last seen him.

You gave him a look. He should know better than anyone why this was something you couldn’t just get out of. He couldn’t be mad at you. And he better not be accusing you of playing with Laurie like this.

He nodded once, just slightly. “Y/N.”

“Mr. Barber,” you returned.

Then nothing, he went upstairs and you returned your undivided attention to Jacob. Around a half-hour later, Laurie had to go upstairs and drag him downstairs, both trying and failing to hide their irritation.

She asked you about the usual after you had all settled in a bit. School was always the start. Laurie told you that school was the most important thing in the world. She had graduated but with a degree that she didn’t utilize. She loved her life, but she had her regrets and she didn’t want you to make the same mistakes.

She moved to family next. You always kept the answers light around Jacob, knowing that Laurie could read between the lines anyway. Your mother joined two different book clubs. Laurie knew that meant she was just trying to avoid your father.

Then your boyfriend. Another thing she wanted you to be careful about. She wasn’t expecting to get pregnant with Jacob when she had. She loved both Andy and Jacob, but she would have loved to hold off for a few years. She told you to take care of yourself first. Take care of your dreams, your future, your body, your identity before you worried about anyone else. Be selfish, be ambitious. She was like a mom; one you never even knew existed outside of television. You often wished she weren’t so nice to you. You knew you didn’t deserve it.

She just wanted to know how he was. How long had you guys been together, again? Right, that was quite a long time, she claimed. Where was he working? The same place still? You felt Andy’s eyes on you the entire time. He hadn’t looked at you for the whole dinner until Laurie mentioned your boyfriend.

Did you know about his politics? She promised it was better to know before it was too late. She knew his parents, knew that they were rather conservative. Everyone there was, though. The chances of finding a perfect man? Well, Andy was already taken.

Had you guys spoken about the future? Not really, not cohesively, but that wasn’t the answer you gave. You knew what he wanted and he pretended that he didn’t know what you wanted, pretended that one day you would just wake up and see it all his way. What does he want to do?

You were thinking about Andy. His hands, his mouth, his beard. You thought about making him mad, jealous. You thought about how he would be short over text and make you send him pictures and videos until he was less angry, then he would call and his voice would be so deep, he would growl orders at you. Fuck. “Yeah…he wants a huge family.”

“Oh.” Laurie nodded, clearly it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “Well…what do you want?”

“I don’t know.” That wasn’t necessarily a lie, but Andy would give you hell for it later. He told you that was one of the sexiest things about you. That you knew what you wanted. Basically, he just meant it was sexy that you were selfish enough to be getting involved with him.

“Well, just make sure you know before you make any choices that can’t be undone.”

If only someone had given Andy this lecture all the way back. You wondered how things would be if he wasn’t married, if he had never met Laurie, but If he was still here. You wondered what relationship you would have with him.

“You want to stay in Massachusetts?”

You shrugged. Andy wouldn’t let you come later, until you promised you were going to stay. You just had this deep, sinking feeling he wasn’t going to be kind about it either. Good. It had been so long since he was rough with you. Even over text, he was dominant and in total control. He owned you but you were worried he was getting comfortable with that, you worried that he was under the impression that he could be less possessive. Hell no. You were his, undeniably, but only so long as he was going to claim you as his.

“Well, you’re young…the possibilities are endless.”

“Well, I hope you guys break up,” Jacob bluntly stated.

You and Laurie both turned to him with wide-eyed looks. Andy was stunned for a moment, then had to hide his smile by sipping at his beer.

“Jacob,” Laurie scolded. “Don’t say things like that. That was very mean.”

“Well,” he huffed, ‘if she has more time, she can come back to babysit me.”

You scoffed.

He turned to you. “Is it because of him?”

“No, I promise. I’m just…busy.”

“Busy?” He rolled his eyes. “Adults are always “busy”.”

“You know, I think it’s time I put him to sleep,” Laurie scoffed.

“No,” Jacob whined. “I never get to see her anymore!”

Laurie sighed. “Jacob—”

“I’m not going to bed until you promise to come back,” he declared.

“Jacob,” you pleaded.

He crossed his arms over his chest, brow furrowed. “I’ll stay awake forever if I have to.” Then he set his jaw and turned forward. He had never looked more like Andy, where usually, he looked eerily like Laurie.

You really did miss him. Not that you would ever tell Andy, but a part of you did resent him for the fact that you had to quit. It wasn’t all on him, but if he had never let this start, things would still be the same.

Laurie looked completely exasperated and it wasn’t like you didn’t have enough guilt where she was concerned. “Okay, Jacob, if you go to bed, I will try to come back for the summer. You know, I won’t be so busy.” You glanced at Laurie who appeared just as hopeful. “You know, maybe at least a couple of days while you guys are at work.”

“Well, I was going to do this later because I didn’t want you to feel like this was the only reason that I asked you here. We miss you and I just wanted to see you, but…” she glanced at Andy. “I just found out that I’m going to be taking a work trip this summer.”

“Work trip?” you inquired. You weren’t aware that her job would ever require traveling.

“Yeah, just this conference, kind of, for people who work with children. This is the first time we have been invited to it, so it’s really important but I’m just not okay leaving Andy and Jacob alone. Andy’s job…”

“I told you, I could take the summer off,” Andy assured.

Laurie gave him a look. Yeah, that was highly unlikely. Andy wouldn’t know what to do with himself after probably the first three weeks. She faced you. “I don’t want to put any pressure on you. If you can’t come back, we understand. The Rifkins were telling us about your friend, the one who also babysits. Her name is Lily…something?”

Your eyes instinctively went to Andy. He was giving you a knowing look. All your friends would fuck him in a heartbeat. You shouldn’t have cared. If he fucked anyone, you should have had the plan to just walk away. You doubted your ability to do that, unfortunately. And you couldn’t stand the thought of him touching her. Anyone but her.

“I’ll think about it,” you promised Jacob.

He smiled widely. “Okay, I’ll go to bed now. I’m exhausted.”

You smiled.

Laurie took Jacob upstairs after saying goodnight to you. That left you alone with Andy for what you both knew would be just enough time for anything, but you had your limits. Not in the house. Not while Laurie and Jacob were here. You decided it was time to call it a night and he decided he was going to walk you to your car. It was dark after all.

You just rolled your eyes and marched out the front door. You tried to stay in front of him so you could get inside your car first, so he couldn’t grab you or talk to you. You just needed to get out of there, anything that needed to be said would have to wait for that night when he texted you.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t get my kid’s hopes up.”

That was how he wanted to start? You looked back at him; eyebrows lifted. “You mean yours.”

“Jacob misses you—”

“And you?”

He sighed at you. “What do you want me to say?”

“Nothing, just don’t try to use Jacob against me. I will think about it…there are just things…that could go wrong.”

“Like what?”

“You know what, Andy—”

His eyebrows shot up. “What did you call me?”

You crossed your arms, silently staring up at him. Your back faced the driver’s side door, the handle perfectly in your reach if you needed it.

“Baby,” he warned. “Don’t start acting up right now just because you know I can’t do anything about it.”

“I’m not acting up—”

“Then what did you just call me?”

“Nothing,” you muttered. “I’m sorry, I meant to call you daddy.”

He moved closer then, either hand on the car door behind you.

Your eyes widened in sheer panic and you immediately looked around. It was too dark to see anything, and this was Andy Barber. He was a trusted and well-respected man. No one would think anything even if they did walk out and saw this with their own eyes. He was a damn good lawyer and could convince anyone of anything.

It had been months since you spent so much time with him, but even still, the closest the two of you had ever been was in the car. There was an invisible line that neither of you crossed because you never wanted to get caught. It was always so light out, your creepy neighbors would just sit on the porch from sunrise to sunset because they were desperate for anything.

This was different. There was no one around. There was nothing to stop either of you from taking this further than you ever had. This was the extent of your relationship. Stealing moments. Secrets. But he had never touched you, he’d never kissed you. It was all you could think about in that moment.

“What was all of that?” he asked.

“What?”

“All that bullshit? You lied to Laurie.”

You scoffed. “No, actually, I didn’t.”

“Really? That’s what you want to fucking do with your life? Just be some god damn trophy for that boyfriend of yours?”

You shrugged. “I would love to be a trophy.”

He glared. “You’re smart, okay? And you’re interesting—”

“So, instead of being a trophy, I should be a spectacle? I should entertain people—”

“That is not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“That I’m fucking angry.”

“About what?!”

“Him!”

Well, mission accomplished. It wasn’t that you were surprised he felt that way, you just weren’t expecting to hear him say it.

He sighed, turning up. He was probably watching the window to make sure Laurie hadn’t heard anything.

“What are you even angry about?”

“I work with his fucking father.”

“And?” you demanded.

He looked down at you after several seconds of staring at the window. “He always fucking talks about you. He thinks you’re going to marry his son.”

You shrugged. “Maybe I will.”

“Don’t.”

“Why not?” you pressed. “Maybe I fucking will, Andy.”

“He’s an asshole. You tell me all the time. And if you think I’m going to let you—”

“Let me?” you scoffed. “You’re married. You can’t do shit.”

The look he gave you told you that was the last thing you should have said. He grabbed your shoulders and turned you away from him, pushing you into the car door.

“Andy—”

 You were in a tiny pair of shorts, despite how freezing it was that night. That must have been what gave him the idea to smack you, more so your thigh than your ass, but it hurt, nonetheless. You slammed your hands over your mouth to stifle your yelp.

There were times when you thought you were going to die if he didn’t touch you. Obviously, you were always wrong, but you didn’t care. Sometimes, when you would plead to whatever or whoever it was up there, that you just needed him to touch you, just a touch, you would claim you didn’t care how. This worked. Even though it really fucking hurt and the cold air was still stinging your skin, this was what you wanted.

“You know what you need to be calling me, honey.” His hand was at the button of your denim shorts and you panicked.

You tried to catch his wrist, but he was much stronger than you. Before you said a word, he had yanked them open, the zipper too. But no, not now, not here. “Daddy, stop—”

“You still think I can’t do anything?”

“Please, not here—”

His fingers pressed against your stomach and traveled down. You instantly lost your ability to speak or think. When he reached the band of your underwear, he scoffed. “Wearing panties? Why?”

What kind of question was that?

“You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?” he cooed. “Such a sweet girl.”

“Daddy,” you whispered.

“Daddy will stop,” he promised. “But only if you want him to. Do you want daddy to stop?”

“Please.” Yes, please. But also, maybe please, don’t. Please, keep going. Please, touch me more because you never have. Please, touch me where we both want you to so bad.

“Okay, but first, I’m going to check if you’re wet. If you aren’t, fine. If you are, well, you know you’re not supposed to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying,” you promised. “But—”

“Shh, baby.” He pressed his fingers down and you felt like you were dying. Honestly, like your life was on the verge of ending because nothing had ever felt so good and nothing should feel so good.

He didn’t go inside your underwear, of course not. He was always teasing you. Instead, he moved down until he felt the material was damp and made a soft, disapproving sound.

“I wasn’t lying,” you insisted, trying not to move too much. If he thought you were enjoying this too much, he might decide to get cruel.

“So, you want daddy to stop right now?”

You wanted to say yes, you wished you could make yourself. However, you stayed silent because you knew he would stop, you knew he would completely withdraw from you until you were begging him. Mostly, you couldn’t force yourself to want him to stop touching you no matter how wrong you knew it was.

“You know, baby girl, daddy wants something from you.”

You almost promised him anything he wanted but thankfully, forming coherent words was still something beyond you.

“Daddy wants you to come back this summer.”

No. That wasn’t going to happen. You knew now that it couldn’t happen. You knew now that if you were ever in a room with Andy, that both of you would get as close as you possibly could, that you would try to touch in any way that wouldn’t raise concern. And if no one was home? If Jacob was upstairs and you and Andy were downstairs? No, you wouldn’t do that to Laurie. Not in her house.

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

You shook your head. “You know I can’t.”

“All I know is that I don’t like it when you tell me no.”

Which is something he wouldn’t actually know because you had never told him no. This was different. This was about hurting someone who had only ever been good to you. And Jacob—god, Jacob. If you were caught, Laurie would leave Andy and that was the last thing you wanted for Jacob.

“I’m saying no,” you insisted, but your voice was hardly more than a mutter.

He said nothing for several terribly long seconds, then pulled aside your panties and finally touched your pussy.

Your eyes fell shut and you pressed your forehead against the car window. His fingers moved higher until he circled them around your clit and you shuddered. Even biting your lip couldn’t completely muffle the sounds you were making.

He shushed you, a completely patronizing gesture as he was the reason you were being so loud.

“Daddy,” you gasped. “Daddy, please.”

“You want to come on daddy’s fingers?”

You nodded fast. “So bad, daddy.”

“Mm. Well, daddy wants you back, princess.”

“Daddy,” you whined. This couldn’t happen, not now. Where was his fear? Anyone could walk out. Laurie could just glance out the window and see everything.

“Daddy wants to see you back in the house every day. Playing on the floor in your tiny little skirts and your tiny little shirts that you never wear a bra with. Daddy wants to see you biting your lip and pressing your thighs together when you’re watching me, when you think I don’t notice.”

Fuck. You genuinely had thought you were being discreet. He was clearly discreet, however, because you had never noticed that he was watching so closely.

“But more than anything, I want to have you all to myself, baby girl.”

“I…would be babysitting,” you reminded.

“Jacob has a lot of friends. I’ll schedule him some play dates. Say yes.”

“No, daddy, please—”

“Say yes,” he ordered.

“I can’t.”

“I’m not going to let you come until you do.”

The noise you made was a cross between a cry and a whimper, something truly pathetic. He had you scared and he knew it, so he thrust two fingers inside you and when your mouth opened to scream, he wrapped his opposite hand around your neck.

You swore you would come just like that if he didn’t stop. You had dreamt about his hands around your throat. You would try choking yourself when you were making videos for him, but you knew it wasn’t like the real thing. When he would call you, you would always beg choke me, daddy.

His fingers were thick enough to stretch you even though you were dripping. Your mind wandered to his cock. You could feel it against your ass, and even through his pants, you could tell he was big. But it was little more than a theory. You’d never seen his cock because he didn’t send you pictures. Most of your relationship with Andy had been set around your imagination.

He kept you quiet with his hold around your neck, but his fingers fucked into you so hard that the wet sounds echoed down the empty street. If anyone found the two of you, you would be completely humiliated by how evidently desperate you were.

“Daddy,” you gasped when you felt yourself just right there, so close to that edge. Maybe you were biased in the moment in thinking that this was going to be the best orgasm you had ever had. You had toys, Andy had made sure of that, and some of them did the trick. But it was never like this. Close, at times, but only ever when you were making videos for him or talking to him on the phone. It was all Andy, he hadn’t been exaggerating when he was telling you no one else could make you feel so good.

“You close, princess?”

You hummed a confirmation and just like that, he pulled his hand away altogether. The one around your neck was keeping you quiet but your pussy was completely neglected. It was absolutely devastating.

Stupidly, you’d forgotten his grand plan of forcing you to say yes. You weren’t going to, this was so much bigger than this stupid affair. You could live with yourself knowing you were a whore, you could live knowing you were a homewrecker so long as no one else knew, but you could not and would not even attempt to be okay with sheer stupidity. And stupidity was playing this game. You didn’t understand why he wanted to either.

“How do you feel now?”

“No,” you snapped.

“Watch the tone,” he warned.

“God,” you huffed tiredly. “I can’t. No, I’m saying no.”

He simply hummed and with no warning, buried his fingers inside you once more. “Then I guess we’re going to be here for quite a while.”

A whine caught in your throat and you practically choked trying to talk to him. “Daddy, we’re going to get caught.”

“Then say yes. You think you can have an attitude and mouth off and I’m just going to let it go because we might get caught?”

Well, honestly, yes, you had expected that. This was bad and you knew you were fucked up because that was making it feel better. He was pressed against you, hiding you from any eyes that may look outside because he was insanely possessive and didn’t want anyone else seeing you naked. He was holding you so tight that it actually hurt and he was barely letting you breathe, you were getting dizzy and lightheaded and you just needed to come.

He did this to you so many times that you lost track. The only thing you did know was that it wasn’t taking long even though it felt like it. It was Tuesday night and you had been here enough at this time to know that this was a busy night for these rich people. You’d walked out of the house at 7:46. The bathroom light was still on and would be for another 30 minutes at least, because Jacob was a menace when he wanted to be—but never with you. Mrs. Johnson always came home from her cooking club at 8:20 to 8:30. Mr. Garcia would always come out at around 8:15 to leave his trash or recycling, depending on the night of the week. Sometimes, Mrs. Wilson’s grandchildren would stop by for late visits. They were all doctors and lawyers, at least, that was the reason they gave for never coming at a reasonable hour, but they actually just wanted money and knew she would be too tired to say no. Mrs. Taylor’s twin demons you once had the displeasure of devoting your Monday and Friday nights to had to go out every night at 8:30 until 10:00 because of some stupid project they were doing on stars.

Andy had to know all of this also, so you understood that he was just trying to call your bluff.

Well, fuck, it was going to work. You were terrified. There were so many variables, anyone could show up early. Or hell, there had to be some people here with drinking addictions, an affliction for pills, a house fire could start. Or a revealed affair could lead to a staged murder that looked like something else. Andy being so calm was almost worrisome.

But you were more worried about Laurie. Apparently, you weren’t like him. You couldn’t just shut off your guilt surrounding her. You knew you had to try one more time to get out of this. Andy was pretending right now to be so hard, but he was more than soft for you. He spoiled the hell out of you and let you be very bratty even though he put on a whole show that he couldn’t stand it. But you knew that when you gave him a look, when you softened your voice just enough, when you said the right things, that man would give you the world if he could.

In your littlest, whiny voice, you begged him. “Daddy, please.”

He froze for a moment, letting his hand fall away only to take your shoulders and turn you back to him. He was looking at you curiously, also a tad suspiciously.

You simply stared at him with pleading eyes. He couldn’t honestly think this was a good idea. “We can’t do this. Not around Jacob. Not in the house.”

Realization showed on his face and he scoffed. “Oh, baby, you really are the sweetest thing.” He leaned in to press you flat to the car door once more and brought his hand up, slipping his fingers into your mouth. His eyes were on yours the entire time, as you sucked and licked, and then as he started shoving them down your throat. You gagged, tears were running down your cheeks, and you had started rolling your hips, grinding against the bulge in his pants.

“You are the most beautiful little girl in the world, you know that?”

You hummed, thankful that you didn’t actually have to put an answer to that. He never stopped telling you that you were beautiful, that he’d never see someone else like you, but when you really had to think about it, you were just the average insecure person.

“You’re my little girl, yeah?” He pulled his fingers from your mouth, touching your swollen lips. “Tell me.”

“I’m your little girl.”

“Do you know how badly daddy wants to eat your pussy?”

It took you a moment, but when you realized that he wanted an answer, you shook your head. He didn’t talk about it much. He just liked to listen to you, he liked to tell you that he just wanted to be inside you, that he couldn’t wait to feel you around him.

“Mm…I do. I want to lick you for hours until your begging me to stop. I want you to come in my mouth. I want you to grind your pussy all over my face. You have to know how badly daddy wants you on his cock, though?”

“Yes.”

“Say you’ll come back, gorgeous. Of course, Jacob can never know, this isn’t a game. I just miss seeing you. I miss smelling your perfume and hearing you laugh. I miss having you so close.”

“I miss you, too,” you promised. But. There was still a but, even if you didn’t come right out and say it.

You felt his hands moving against your stomach and then you heard the zipper of his pants. Oh, god. He took your hand and slipped it down his boxers, you both shuddered as your skin touched his.

His eyes fell shut and he took a deep breath in. He tightened his hand around yours and began slowly jerking your hand up and down his cock. “What do you think, baby girl?”

“You’re really big, daddy.” And so fucking thick, you were going crazy just picturing yourself trying to ride him. He was much bigger than your boyfriend, much bigger than anyone else you’d ever fucked.

“Imagine my cock inside your beautiful little cunt. I bet it’ll hurt so much that you cry. And I am going to pound that pussy until you are so stretched and used that your boyfriend won’t be able to make you come at all.”

You wanted nothing more, but you also wanted to have a little bit of fun. “I said you were big…but I didn’t say you were bigger than him.”

He pulled his hand and yours out of his pants and the next second, he was on you. His hand was around your neck, his other holding your jaw, and his face just inches away from yours. “You fucking little brat. You’re lucky I don’t make you get on your knees and choke you on my cock.”

“Kiss me, daddy.”

And just like that, he was no longer upset with you. It was hilarious how easily you could push this man into anything you wanted. And he didn’t even care, he just wanted to give you everything you could think to ask for.

He sighed, glancing around. “I can’t do that, baby, not here.”

Then where? That was when you finally understood. He wanted you back so badly, because where else would you be able to do this? He could get a hotel room but if anyone ever saw you, there would be no defense. It would be apparent what you guys were doing. Your house? Your parents were always around. That only left his house and if Laurie was going to be gone…maybe you didn’t see much harm in that.

“Say yes,” he whispered.

You should have never turned around to look at him. He had won, there was no way you could deny him anymore. You nodded. “Yes, daddy.”

He smiled and your heart stuttered. He was the most beautiful man in the world. “I’ll let Laurie know...I’ll tell her this was why I was out here so long. And you, angel, need to go straight home, shove a toy in that pussy, and make some videos for daddy.”

It was weeks later than Andy told you he had a surprise for you. A few months had gone by. You hadn’t returned to the Barber home since the dinner and you kept your usual contact with Andy. Just more sending pictures and videos and texting every second it was possible.

He was still thrilled that you were going back for the summer and regularly checked in just to make sure that you didn’t change your mind about it. You still had a few months and he was constantly worried you would feel a sudden burst of guilt. It wasn’t too farfetched, actually.

When you got home, your mother informed you that you had received a package. She claimed it didn’t say who it was from. You knew what that meant. You had checked your phone that morning and saw a text informing you to expect something.

You texted Andy, I got it, then you went to your drawers to pick out something skimpy and lacy.

Good. Take off all your clothes.

Odd, he usually wanted you wearing something. You did as was asked of you and let him know when you were ready for more instruction.

Go to your bathroom with the box.

Once more, you let him know when you’d complied with his orders.

Open the box.

Inside was another smaller box, a picture clearly displaying the product. He bought you a dildo, a rather large one. You didn’t normally get toys this size, they were harder to film with.

Before you could respond, he texted again. Get it out of the box and clean it really well, then stick it to the floor.

Again, you followed his directions. Once it was set up and immovable, you let him know.

Get your laptop, we’re going to Skype.

That left you naked in front of your laptop that was a few feet away. He had you sitting with your legs bent and spread wide so he could see your pussy.

He wasn’t wearing a shirt, that was the first thing you noticed. The second was his background, you didn’t recognize it.

“Where are you, daddy?”

“Home. My office. Laurie’s sister is in town so they both went out to see her. Focus, baby. I’m going to send you some videos that I want you to watch.”

“Videos?” You had a feeling you already knew what he meant. And mere seconds later, got confirmation through the email link he sent to you. Porn. Not surprising and you weren’t really opposed.

The videos he sent you were all starred older men, many roleplaying as the stepfather, and younger women playing the innocent, naïve daughter. Older than you mostly, but still significantly younger than the men they were fucking. The videos started tame, small, just cheesy scenarios and rough sex following. But as he sent you more, the men became more dominant. They would choke, pull hair, spank, call her degrading names. You didn’t hate any of it.

He wouldn’t let you touch yourself and he didn’t touch himself. He just watched you the entire time, sometimes talking and asking you questions, but he mainly just wanted you focusing on this. He made you keep your legs open so he could make sure you weren’t being sneaky, which was slightly humiliating. You felt that voicing that, however, would be considered talking back.

It was nearly an hour later that he requested you show him how wet you were. Your fingers frantically ran through your cunt and you held them out toward the camera. He told you to pause the video and get on the dildo. You gracelessly rolled onto your knees, your legs just a little tired from the uncomfortable position he’d directed you to hold for so long. You climbed over the toy, one hand holding it as you straddled it.

“Just take it slow, baby girl.”

You carefully spread your knees further, bringing your pussy closer to the head of the fake cock. You heard him shifting as soon as if touched your skin. You weren’t as nervous as you should have been, you figured you were wet enough to take it all. That insatiable longing to be filled and ruthlessly fucked by him clouded your mind.

As soon as it was inside you by what probably wasn’t even an inch, you froze. Yes, bigger than anything you’d ever taken. It stung a little, yet you didn’t want to pull off completely. You kind of liked the pain anyway.

“Keep going.”

“It hurts.”

“Just try for me, angel.”

You set your hands to the floor, once again spreading your legs wider. The ache didn’t dull as you kept going. “Daddy, I think it’s too big.”

“I’m bigger, that’s why I want you to get used to it.”

Bigger? Even though you were struggling to handle this, you wanted him instead of the toy. You wanted him on top, forcing you to take his cock, cooing to you and kissing your face the whole time. This was a flawed plan that he came up with because you were going to need some major convincing to get any further on this thing.

“Take a minute,” he decided, and you needed no further prompt to pull off.

You hissed lightly, looking at it. You had barely made it down the head. So, this was going to be one of those long calls.

“Use your mouth,” he instructed.

That you could do. You leaned over it, immediately dropping down until it hit the back of your throat. Your eyes flickered up to the screen where you saw his arm moving so slowly, back and forth. You would ask later if you could see him, when you didn’t have something in your mouth.

“Baby doll, you are fucking beautiful.”

You hummed, pulling back and then sliding back down.

“Gag on it. I want to hear you choking.”

You prepped your throat by bobbing up and down, taking it a little further each time. It wasn’t until your nose was hovering just above the floor that you gagged loudly. You backed off hurriedly but did it once more, a second time, a third, a fourth, until he told you to stop.

“Stay there, sweetheart, keep it down your throat. Try swallowing around it. I want you to get used to that, too. That’s how I love having my cock sucked.”

You obeyed, attempting to swallow around the thick piece of silicone. Those tries were followed by a lot of short coughs, gagging noises, and your body moving almost violently every time you got just a little too ahead of yourself. You were suddenly very thankful that you’d woken up late, since you’d stayed up until almost 5 in the morning talking to him, and hadn’t had time to eat anything.

“You think you can do it now?”

You hummed and hoped he wouldn’t press for more. You weren’t sure. You were nervous to try but it wasn’t like he was going to let you off that easy.

“Okay, try again.”

Positioning yourself over it, you realized you were much wetter now. Getting the head inside was easy enough but just as soon, it started to hurt again.

“You okay, princess?”

“Yeah.” You turned your attention down and tried to force yourself to relax. You were nervous, double that now because you didn’t want to fail in front of Andy. You wanted to show him that you knew what you were doing and that when he finally fucked you, it was going to be perfect. You didn’t want him to think of you as some inexperienced little girl.

“Remember, take it easy. Don’t hurt yourself.”

You never thought you would have an issue with him babying you. “I wish this was your cock, daddy.”

He hummed as if it was a question but was much more focused on your comfort than your attempts to distract him.

“Mhm,” you returned. “I can’t wait to feel you inside me. I can’t wait to be filled up and dripping with your cum.”

“I’ll cover you in my cum, sweetheart. You wanna try taking a little more?”

You hadn’t moved and it was still aching, but your mind was getting hazy. You were thinking about Andy and how good he was going to fuck you. You wanted it so hard and so fast that you didn’t think the dildo would even suffice. You lowered a tad too fast, earning a disapproving sound from him.

And yes, it hurt, but admitting any type of defeat was beyond out of the question. “Fuck, daddy, it’s so big,” you sighed. You didn’t pull off, but you tried shifting your hips to get a little more comfortable.

“Fuck yourself with it.”

You used your arms for balance and began pulling back carefully before dropping back down. You did this several more times until it was no longer uncomfortably painful. “Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?”

You pushed yourself up, balancing on your knees as your hands came up to your breasts. “Can I see you?”

He arched an eyebrow at you. “You wanna see me?”

You nodded. “Please?”

He sat up, pushing the laptop back as he stood. You finally got to see that hard stomach you had been pressed against that night and it did not disappoint. You had no idea that he was going to look so strong and beautiful—and honestly, what the hell was he doing with you? You were confident enough and sometimes, some days when things were just going your way, you even loved how you looked. But Andy was inhumanly, unfairly breathtaking.

Then you saw his cock and you instantly whimpered. He was so big, bigger than the toy just as he’d claimed. You’d suspected he was exaggerating, most men did. He laid his cock out on the desk, tip leaking, skin angry and red.

“Daddy,” you whispered.

“What, honey?”

“I can’t wait for summer. I need you now.”

“Just be patient. You need to get a little more accustomed to the toy first because I’m not sure I’m going to be able to be gentle.”

“I don’t want you to be gentle.”

“You want daddy to make it hurt?”

“Yes.”

“Touch your clit, princess. I want to see you come.”

Your hand snapped down to your cunt, mindlessly searching for, and at times successfully catching, that hypersensitive spot. As soon as you heard him grunting, jerking himself off to the sight of you, you knew you weren’t going to last long.

You watched his arm move, the way his muscles tensed, you noticed the veins. He wasn’t the kind of man to show off. His suits were always fitted and occasionally, he wore a short sleeve tee, but you were starting to realize he was rather modest. It was this secret that he finally told you, he was finally showing you parts of himself that you never would have known about had he not extended some type of trust to you.

You needed him to fuck you. You needed him wrapping his arms around you and holding you against his chest, hips thrusting into yours. You were bouncing on the dildo now, uncaring of how much it hurt, fingers still rubbing large, unskilled circles into your clit. You were high off him, completely entranced and focused on Andy. “Daddy…”

“You close?”

“Yes. Can I please come?”

“You can come, angel.” He stroked himself faster, opposite hand settling on the desk as he leaned over a little.

You took as much of the dildo as you could and stayed, just focusing on touching your clit. You whimpered and whined as you approached your finish, mewling ‘daddy’ at least a dozen times, and told him several times that you needed him inside you, and promised you would do anything for his cock. He was quiet even though he was still fucking his fist, wanting to hear every sound you were making for him.

You nearly collapsed when your orgasm hit. Thankfully, instead of down—because seriously, this was an obnoxiously large toy and there was still so much that wasn’t inside you yet—you fell forward and caught yourself with both hands. You continued to roll your hips, haphazardly moving your hair out of the way with one hand at a time so he could see your breasts move and just how far down you were getting. One feeling you never quite got rid of, no matter what you were doing, no matter how good whatever you were being fucked with was: his praise was even better than coming.

“Fuck, baby girl,” he blurted out. You heard one of his knees buckle, it hit the desk he was standing behind.

“Are you close, daddy?”

He hummed shortly.

“I wish I was there, daddy. I want to taste you so bad.”

And that was all he needed. With a slight groan, his cum streaked out onto the desk between him and his laptop. His hand slowed but didn’t fully stop until he was done coming. He fell back into his chair, chest rising and falling with his quick breaths.

“You want me to come over, daddy? I could help you clean your desk.”

He scoffed. “Come on, princess, don’t start being a tease.”

“I’m not,” you promised. “Really, I’ll come over if you want me to.”

He finally looked back at the screen, eyes moving over you as you pushed yourself back onto your knees. Though you still felt the toy was too big, it no longer hurt so you were counting this a success. If you continued to use it every day until you were working for him again, fucking him wouldn’t be so difficult. At least you hoped.

“You wanna come over? You’re not scared of getting caught anymore?”

You shrugged. Yes, you were still terrified but your pathetic desire to be touched by that man could make you do some pretty stupid things.

“Don’t be a brat,” he scoffed.

“Then you should come here. My parents won’t notice.”

“I’m not some uncontrollably horny teenage boy you can convince to sneak in through your window. Come on, you just gotta wait a little longer.”

You sighed. “But I want you.”

“I know, trust me, I want you…” His eyes lowered on the screen and he sighed. “I want to taste you, too. Especially after you just finished.”

You leaned forward to grab the edge of the laptop and pulled it closer. “Look, daddy, I took a lot.”

“You did, baby,” he agreed, voice still just a little light. You came down much faster than him. You had to stall and get him ready to go before he decided it was time to end the call. You wanted to see him. In person. And you were not opposed to playing dirty.

“Do you want me to try again? I can do more—”

“No, no, don’t worry about it, angel. You did good today, you need to rest before we do this again. Maybe take a day or two.”

A day or two? Fuck that. He couldn’t see your face, all he could actually see was the dildo still buried in your pussy. You looked down, finding your slick was dripping down the toy. This was going to be easy. You took your fingers and ran them up, collecting what had leaked out of you. You brought it up to your mouth and moaned lewdly—you had to be a little extra, just to make sure he knew.

“Sweetheart,” he warned.

“I wish you could taste me, too, daddy. I’m really good.”

“Come on,” he complained. “Stop it, right now.”

“I could get in my car right now, daddy. We could drive out to that dead-end street by the park. Just one quick, little taste and then I’ll come back home and get into bed and make some more videos for you.”

He said nothing, which you always knew actually meant that you were closer than he wanted to let on.

“Please, daddy? I just need something…summer is so far away.”

“Damn it,” he muttered, finally sitting up straight in the chair. “Damn it, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry, daddy but I really, really need you.” You started to pull your hips up and then slowly slid back down. “Can’t you hear how wet I still am?”

“Fuck,” he hissed. “Okay. Okay, fine.”

You shoved the laptop back, leaning down on your forearms. “Really?”

“But you’re going to keep that toy inside your pussy.”

“What?”

“Keep it right where it is. Get dressed. Drive to the dead-end street. Wait for me. Oh, bring a towel.”

“A towel?” You tried not to sound too excited, but you knew you’d failed. He wasn’t really planning on fucking you, was he? You wanted it, you would never say no to that man, but you hadn’t thought it would be so easy.

“You’ll need to bite down on something when I’m spanking you.”

Oh, fuck.

[minimoefoe]

Is it just me or the way the companions of colour are treated in the show is truly unfair? Martha goes without saying, the violently gruesome ending Bill got and how Ryan and Yaz are (arguably) the least loved companions in NuWho just cause we don't really know who they are. Especially when Dan came along and suddenly his character is well written and we can connect with him even though it's only been 2 episodes?? Idk, is it just me?

I feel like I should start this by saying I am very white so if anyone feels like coming in here and adding more to this that I didn’t say or tell me I’m wrong about something, then please do so. Also this somehow turnt into a full on essay so strap in I guess

MARTHA (& MICKEY & MARTHA’S FAMILY)

You’re right, Martha for sure goes without saying, but imma talk about her anyway lmao. Imo Martha is absolutely the companion of colour (or just companion in general) that has been treated the worst in the show. I’d almost go as far as to say she is the only companion of colour that has truly been treated awfully, because it was a constant thing throughout her series and not just how she left (Bill) or whether or not you think the writers have done a good job at connecting you to the characters (Ryan, Yaz). 

And really it’s like, the thing of Martha loving the Doctor and him barely even noticing her would literally not be so uncomfortable if she was some white girl and not the first ever black companion or if it was toned down even just a little bit. The Doctor being sad about Rose is not, in itself, a bad thing but the amount it goes on and the way it just happens to be when we get the first ever black companion is a choice if ever I’ve seen one.

Then away from Martha’s loving the Doctor thing you have the line in The Shakespeare Code about how it’s probs gonna be tough for her to get around because she’s black and the Doctor is like, ‘Just walk around like you own the place, that’s what I do.’ And it’s like yeah, it works for you because you’re a generic white man and Martha clearly isn’t. It would have been sooo much better if they had an episode that actually focused on how much harder it would be for Martha sometimes (like Rosa does) because this was the first opportunity the show ever had to do it as she was the first companion of colour (unless you count Mickey which I guess you could but doing an episode like that with an Official companion and not just a tag along would have been better I think)

Then you have Human Nature/Family of Blood where she’s a maid in 1913 for however many months and had racist jokes/comments thrown at her by kids and staff. And I know that that two-parter is an adaptation of another DW book but again giving this story to the Doctor and his first ever black companion was a choice and they really could have adapted it in a way that didn’t turn Martha into a maid with barely any rights. Like, Martha is already gonna be bogged down enough with having to keep an eye on John Smith’s ass so why tf would the TARDIS send them to live in a place where Martha would also just like, struggle to even get treated like a person half the time. 

And while we’re talking about Martha, we might as well talk about her family, who get captured by a guy who is literally named the Master and have to spend a year basically being his slaves which is like, sure, it’s defo in character for the The Master to capture a bunch of people and make them work for him but it’s just a bit unfortunate that those people happen to be black and he happens to be called the Master. Like, I don’t think this is a huuge deal, I just think it’s a bit uncomfortable for no one to point out how bad it looks

And while we’re in RTD’s era, we might as well talk about Mickey who was treated like shit by Rose and the Doctor a few times. And again I’m like, yeah, Rose binning her boring human boyfriend in favour of a cool alien makes sense but Mickey being black is a bad look on RTD’s part, even if, like Martha, he ends up getting a great arc and comes out on top. It’s just one of those things that’s like surely the people making the show knew that it looked bad idk.

I kinda feel like people of colour being treated like shit in DW is mainly an RTD era problem, even if both Martha and Mickey do have great arcs, there is no denying that they are the characters in that era that are worse off and just generally treated poorly because some white characters are being assholes. And it’s like, them being treated like shit, in universe, is nothing to do with their skin colour most of the time. Like, Ten wasn’t ignoring Martha because she’s black and Rose didn’t leave Mickey because he’s black, but it was defo a choice, intentional or otherwise, on the casting people’s part to pretty much only cast black people in roles where they’re being put down in favour of Rose and/or the Doctor.

BILL

Bill’s death is objectively brutal as fuck but imo it’s a great story and I’d probs say it’s my fave companion ending we’ve seen in New Who so far. And while killing off a black lesbian could have been a really bad look for Moffat (and I can see why people may not like her ending purely for that reason), for me it’s just not a big deal. 

Idk how to explain why I don’t think her race (or sexuality) really factor into her death being brutal other than to say Bill was an amazing character who was treated really well and given the respect she deserved throughout the whole of Series 10. So killing her off doesn’t feel brutal because she is black or a lesbian, it just feels brutal because she’s a great character and obviously no one likes to see a great character die.

However, if say, Martha, a character who we have established was treated poorly quite a lot, on top of all that, ended up brutally dying at the end of her series, I would have had a bit of an issue. 

And also Bill’s death doesn’t even end up being permanent so I struggle to see the point in holding onto it potential being really offensive. But tbh even if she didn’t end up surviving, I still don’t think I’d really have a problem with her ending. 

RYAN & YAZ

Correct me if I’m wrong but it seems like you’re coming from the POV of Ryan and Yaz have been done dirty because Chibnall just isn’t that good at writing characters and getting you connected to them but that actually has, like, nothing to do with their race at all. It’s more like you (and many others, I’m sure) just aren’t a fan of how Chib writes his characters.

With Martha, we can all she was treated like shit. With Bill, brutally killing a black lesbian is possibly not everyone’s cup of tea. But with Ryan and Yaz it’s just.. some people don’t like the quality of the showrunner’s writing. Which is fair enough, we all know the writing of Chibnall’s era isn’t as good as previous eras but I just don’t think it really has anything to do with POC companions being treated unfairly. Just not being able to connect with a character feels like more of a ‘you’ problem than a race problem.

Because I’d say that out of all of Thirteen’s companions, Ryan and Yaz are actually the ones that have grown and changed the most during their run and I feel like I know them the most. 

In terms of Dan, I connected with him in episode one but I also connected with Ryan, Yaz and literally every other companion within the first couple of episodes as well so 

[destinyc1020]

Do you think there is a possibility that they didn’t break up until right after the premiere and that they were only having problems before that and officially broke up after the premiere. I mean regardless of if they were already broken up or not z would have stopped herself from saying cuddling with her boyfriend anyway cause she didn’t want people to know she was in a relationship. I just think they seemed so good with each other on the press tour and I know that even if they had broken up they on obviously still loved each other and were possibly hooking up and having cuddle sessions while on the press tour and maybe agreeing to not talk about their relationship and just enjoy the press tour and talk about it later. I just always wondered how the talk to stay broken up came about, like did they have the premiere and then go to the children’s hospital the next day and then before Tom flew out they sat down and tried to talk it out but still weren’t agreeing on the problems they had and decided together to stay broken up, cause I always got the feeling that one of them pulled the plug in the first place but then after the press tour they both agreed mutually it was for the best. Either way seeing those pics of him and Olivia so soon after they had been maybe hooking up on the press tour and so soon after officially ending things still would have stung z a bit and I always felt like Tom hated that and reached out to her about them I mean they were on good terms until those pics of her and je dropped. I think z was playing the spidey game and wearing the mj sweater to show that she was okay and her and Tom were good and he didn’t cheat on her, I think she knew what people were saying on Twitter how could she not they were tagging her friends and family and she probaly felt so bad for him that people were calling him a cheater but she couldn’t come out and actually address it and defend him without outing the fact they had always been in a relationship so playing the game and wearing the sweater was her way of telling fans it’s okay we are good and then I think Tom posting that pic of him wearing the leather jacket was the same, they were letting fans know we are okay and no one cheated on the other. Same as z liking that post of his saying he needed that weekend away with his dad it was her way of showing her support. I’m sorry for ranting and if this made no sense

YES ANON! 👏🏾

I agree with just about everything you said! Esp the latter parts. I've always felt like Z did those things on purpose to sort of show fans that she and Tom were okay, and that the breakup wasn't due to anything awful or vile like cheating or abuse or whatever.... They had just tried they best to do long distance for nearly 3 years under a pretty strict hidden rlshp style, and it was prob wearing on them.... mainly all the hiding and the busy schedules and whatnot.

Z knows that her fans who follow her closely already knew what was up anyway and she knew ppl would be looking to see what her reaction would be to those pictures. 👀 So I think she just wanted to "clear the air" in a subtle way to let fans know that they were still on good terms.

I've always kind of wondered like you whether or not they were having issues and difficulties and weren't really fully broken up during the press tour as well, or if maybe they had decided to "take a break", but that break became a firm breakUP after the press tour, or after the July 17th pics. 👀

I mean, only they know for sure Anon, but I do feel like it was hard for them to make that decision, and I just feel like some of the things that Tom was saying during the press tour ("my heart will go on", "my love life has been a bit of a disappointment....") aren't things you would be saying if you're still in a rlshp... esp not with the person you're doing press interviews with. 👀

I just feel like they def broke things off (like Audrey said), and it was kind of tense (if you look closely) during SOME parts of the press tour because of it. It even pains me to see pictures of them together on the red carpet for the premiere of FFH, because you can almost feel the tension btwn them and notice that smthg is wrong, because I've NEVER felt those vibes with them before on the red carpet. 😔

I just think that the press tour was a little confusing for them. And yea, I've always suspected that they prob were still hu around that time too. I don't think they broke up because they didn't love each other anymore, or because one of them cheated or betrayed the other. I just feel like they broke up because of other reasons that had nothing to do with their feelings for each other. 🤷🏾‍♀️Those are the hardest...... 😔

[murdereraisuha]

Classpecting TWST: Savanaclaw

Time to classpect the dorm that deserved better writing-wise. I’m gonna start tagging these “twst analysis” now too cause I am basically using the classpect stuff as a vehicle for getting a better understanding of the characters

Spoilers for chapter 2 and some of the trio’s personal stories. No knowledge of Homestuck required to read.

[Image description: A banner containing a picture of Leona, the symbol for the hope aspect, and the words “Leona Kingscholar: Prince of Hope”]

Before we get to the reasoning, I just want to say, Leona I am so sorry you have to share a classpect with Eridan. Okay now I’ll hand the mic to past me.

Throughout his personal stories, we see that Leona is fine with resorting to underhanded tactics, but he specifically values cleverness and creative use of resources. Leona looks down on those who don’t exhibit those things (ex. the Savanaclaw students in Leona’s dorm uniform story who tried to beat up Jack using sheer numbers).

Leona tends to only expend effort on things that benefit him in some way.

Leona is a powerful and intelligent magic user; he could have easily graduated already if he wanted to, but it seems he doesn’t want to.

Despite Leona’s strengths, those around him criticized him and constantly compared him to his brother due to Leona being the 2nd born prince. No matter what he did, he could not sway those opinions. He could never become number 1.

Because of this, he developed the belief that life isn’t fair and he gives up on things rather easily.

Based on this, I have 3 aspects in mind: rage, hope, and doom.

Rage and hope go hand in hand as opposites: rage is negative emotions, rejection, and doubt, while hope is positive emotions, acceptance, and ideals. For Leona, his story seems to be about him having given up on his hope and dreams of ever succeeding. In its place he has become quick to deem efforts worthless. He acts antagonistic to people like Vil and Malleus, and he seems to disapprove of some of Jack’s honorable ideals. All of these things connect to the parts of rage/hope.

Doom is also a possibility, as it represents negativity, decay, and limits. It is the opposite to life, the aspect that I picked for Kalim. Therefore, I think doom is plausible since Leona shows the opposite side to the luxuries enjoyed by Kalim and Farena as first borns.

Now for classes. I don’t think Leona does much stealing, he doesn’t suffer from indecision, he doesn’t put up any masks, and he’s not a very healing focused person. I think that narrows it down to witch, heir, mage, prince, and bard.

If it’s prince or bard it would have to be hope, in which case prince of hope fits Leona best due to his destruction of hope being focused more than just happening naturally. Though Leona has suffered, it seems to have more hampered his potential than gave him useful knowledge so now I’m kicking out mage. Heir seems to fit best if it’s as a heir of rage. Finally, I’m also kicking out witch since he he doesn’t do much manipulation of any of the 3 aspects.

Between prince of hope and heir of rage... it’s prince of hope. Since Leona says that nothing he did could sway people’s negative opinion of him, we can assume that Leona had hope earlier in his life that he could change those opinions. He did stuff like studying and improving his magic until he finally realized that that wasn’t changing his image at all. Rather than preserve his hope, he choose to destroy it, making his class the active destroyer class, prince.

In chapter 2, he rallies Ruggie the rest of his dorm against Diasomnia, using their hopes as a tool for destroying the other teams. In 2-24 Leona then tries to destroy their hopes once he deems their plan useless. At one point he says 「じゃあ本当のことを教えてやるよ」, translated by Shel_BB on youtube as “Let me give you a dose of reality.” This and the other things he says this episode really connect to the hope/rage themes of reality vs fantasy and stop vs go. Therefore, quite ironically since he is an actual prince, Leona's classpect seems to be a prince of hope.

[Image description: A banner containing a picture of Ruggie, the symbol for the Life aspect, and the words “Ruggie Bucchi: Rogue of Life”]

Ruggie grew up in a poor environment with food insecurity. Many of his clothes are hand-me-downs, he’s fine with eating odd things like dandelions, and before holiday break he raids the cafeteria for food to bring back for the others in his town.

Ruggie’s official hobby is part-time jobs. From working at Mostro Lounge to selling mandrakes, he’s really focused on earning money however he can.

His skillset, which includes pickpocketing and haggling, lets Ruggie pull off plenty of clever and underhanded tricks.

However, like Leona, Ruggie still has standards: in one of his ceremony robe voice lines, he says that he prefers his lot in life over that of a spoiled, rich person without any problems. 

His dorm uniform personal story, where he teams up with Trein’s cat to get magic history help and catch rats, is about using the power of others instead of relying solely on himself.

There were 3 paragraphs of stuff here that I deleted because I was getting absolutely nowhere. I didn’t expect Ruggie to be this hard.

Like, Ruggie's problems kinda seem to stem from just poverty and Leona being an asshole. Well, hm, actually if we combine the moral of his dorm uniform story and Ruggie acting like Leona’s maid, perhaps Ruggie’s problem is something like he keeps taking on burdens? Out of everyone who lives in his slums, he’s likely the only one going to a prestigious school like NRC. He’s likely well-known there because of that and him bringing back food a lot. Are Ruggie’s ambitions for a good job not only his own ambitions, but that of the whole community? I’ve always been a bit confused about why Ruggie helps Leona out outside of the magift tournament stuff. Is he... so used to having to help others and constantly take on jobs that his standards for what’s reasonable work are gone? I just went through the chats and in Jack’s one with Ruggie, Jack is telling him about having to find something to draw for a homework assignment and Ruggie immediately offers to go get his warthog piggy bank. Bruh?? Doesn’t that have your money? Why are you just lending it out like that????

Alright, because Ruggie is a guy who needs to chill and have some me-time, I’m narrowing his class down to rogue, maid, or knight. For aspects, I’m thinking life (energy & luxury), time (action & death), or blood (community & responsibility).

On second thought, I’m kicking out maid and blood. Rogue & knight and life & time seem to fit Ruggie better. And now my best guess is rogue of life. First, he obviously fits the stealing aspect of the class through his skill at stealing. Like how a rogue redistributes things, Ruggie obtains money/food to redistribute to the others in the slums. He also injured the people in chapter 2, basically taking life from them, which resulted in Savanaclaw's chances of winning the tournament getting stronger. For the tendency of rogues to have a hard time coping with having their aspect, Ruggie has a hard time accepting luxury/relaxation time. He funnels all his resources into efficient causes and his community. Also, in Jack’s dorm outfit personal story where Jack tries to help him out with stuff, Ruggie is distrustful of him and goes out of his way to avoid him.

I didn’t have any sort of eureka moment with this one like I had with the twins, so I’m still unsure about it. However, considering that TWST characters obviously weren’t meant to get crammed into the classpect system, it makes sense that some might not fit perfectly. So, with what I do have, I think that Ruggie is a rogue of life.

[Image description: A banner containing a picture of Jack Howl, the symbol for the mind aspect, and the words “Jack Howl: Page of Mind”]

Jack values honor, strength, and hard work. He believes that people should accomplish things through their own efforts rather than lowly tricks.

Therefore, Jack disapproves of Leona and Ruggie's method of doing things. 

In contrast to how Leona and Ruggie use others, Jack sometimes refuses help, like in chapter 2 when he claims he can handle his dorm by himself.

Jack is quite intelligent and insightful, as shown by his comments throughout chapter 3 and his scary outfit personal story.

Jack respects social/group hierarchies and takes care not to disturb order, as shown in his dorm outfit personal story.

Also in his dorm outfit personal story, Jack says that he wants to become someone with a single true purpose.

So, I'm already kind of stumped. He doesn't have any big moments in the spotlight during the main story, so there's not much to go off of there. 

We have to start somewhere though. So, first off, I’ll eliminate the destruction classes and theft since he doesn’t do much of either. I’ll also eliminate the knowledge classes since I don’t think he holds any special knowledge of anything.

For potential aspects, after eliminating the ones that seem mostly irrelevant to him, I’m left with mind, heart, hope, rage, or blood. The 2 that particularly stick out to me are mind and heart.

Mind is the aspect of logic, unbiasedness, morality, and blending in. For Jack, his strong focus on justice even when it means going against someone he once admired seems very mind-like. His care in not stepping out of line in social situations also relates to blending in. Of course, we should still keep mind’s opposite, heart, in consideration.

Now that I’m pretty confident his aspect is mind or heart, we’re left with 12 possible classpects. I still can’t narrow it down well, let’s go back to Jack’s traits.

What challenges does he face or have to overcome? In the main story, the problem he faces is trying to correct the injustice in his dorm by himself. In his dorm outfit story, the problem he faces is being over zealous about helping Ruggie. Wait, actually, that’s not right. Though that is a problem, it seems like the main growth/realization for Jack is about his motivation for helping Ruggie. When questioned by Ruggie in part 1, he mainly cites the group hierarchy as the reasons for his actions. However, later on, Deuce deduces (haha) that Jack looks up to Ruggie like a big brother. Though Jack denies it, at the end of the story he asks if Ruggie would let him call him big bro.

It’s like he is concerned about justice and social harmony (mind stuff), but in reality he does stuff according to his impulses and emotions (heart stuff). This doesn’t feel like a prince/bard situation though, it isn’t dysfunctional or destructive enough for that. I thought that the pages of the cast might be Epel and/or Sebek, but it seems that Jack may be a page.

Pages, the passive exploitation class, are characterized by a deficit in their aspect that they try to hide and overcome. Like how Jack takes his service of Ruggie too far, pages often overshoot in their efforts to correct their weakness. However, as they grow and learn from their mistakes, pages become masters of their aspect, like in Jack’s scary outfit story where he starts out with a bad idea then at the end develops it into a sound plan to scare the tourists. That also fits well with mind, since smoke and mirrors is another big part of that aspect.

Therefore, with how well this class seems to fit with Jack’s actions and motivations, I think that he is probably a page of mind.

[fbfh]

draco malfoy x gryffindor reader pt 1

As with all steamy/nsfw works, all characters are aged up to 18+

Any parts that take place while still in/are implied to be at school at hogwarts are in 7th year at age 18

Ik that probs doesn’t line up with the timeline but guess what bud

It’s fanfiction

I can make everyone sea monkeys if I want to and it’s still valid

So don’t worry about it

Cause I’m not

Also full disclosure this is going to be very self indulgent bc I found out Draco’s a gemini are we surprised

And since I’m a leo I’ve been hella jeff obsessed with the chemistry and dynamic of gemini x leo pairings so er ah

Reader’s a leo w they them pronouns but probs gonna at least somewhat femme/lollipop since like

I’m imagining myself

Anyway let’s get into it before I ramble more lmao

‘,:)

Draco Malfoy is a motherfucking bottom and you can pry that from my warm crispy crunchy deep fried fingers

He acts like a top

Sure

But it’s cause he’s a bratty bottom that runs on some kind of parsnip flavored magical energy drink and moderate amounts of concentrated attention

And the energy he gets from you is very concentrated to him

You laugh at one of his jokes and he’s good for like a day

You pet his hair while talking to him and he’s still thinking about it a week later

He’s somewhat low maintenance

Like a love cactus

Like a sexy fashion cactus

And it’s like a reasonable relationship for most people

But if you give him more attention and praise

You will absolutely have a fastburn enemies to lovers arguing that turns immediately into hooking up energy

Which is honestly preferable if you ask me

It’s way more fun

He doesn’t want to admit it to people 

But it really was a love at first sight situation type deal

He saw you and was immediately enamored 

Then you lock eyes

But you don’t just lock eyes

He expects you to be intimidated or defensive since your houses have such a rivalry

But you just look right at him

Through him

You analize him, completely non judgemental and unafraid

He suddenly understands gryffindor bravery as more than an abstract concept

He’s looking at it

He could be frozen in that moment in time forever, completely okay with it

He doesn’t think he can ask for anything more than this

Because he just knows somehow 

That you’re looking at him

Not Malfoy, that the whole school hates

Not Draco, that’s struggling not to bow under the increasing pressure from his father

But just him

Pure and unconditioned

And then

Your eyes skim up and down his frame

They lock with his again

And

You smile at him

It’s more of a smirk, but who’s counting

He knows right then and there that he’s completely and thoroughly wrapped around your finger, even though it will take a  l o t  for him to admit it

It will take an equal  l o t  for you to admit how affected you are by the way he looks at you after you smile at him

You  know there can be some pretty intense looks 

But honest to god

This doesn’t even take the cake, it takes the whole goddamn bakery

You both do admit to these eventually though

This leads to the first part of your relationship

Where you incessantly get under each other’s skin

Arguing over nothing

Riling each other up, sexual tension skyrocketing

It’s absolutely one of those cases where you start hooking up in secret before you even like

Hold hands in public

Yk

You know that meme of the two people kissing and someone’s high fiving one of them

When draco finally kisses you in front of everyone blaze deadass high fives him

They recreate the meme

If you’re from the muggle world you’ve probably recreated that one scene from the princess diaries 2 at least once

I high key want to write a one shot abt that now

Stay tuned lmao

Part two really do be looking safe doe coming soon

Anyway asks are open,,, I’m on semi hiatus but you’re more than welcome to shoot me a request or say hi or send me a message if u wanna be mutuals lmao

My head is officially empty of brain juice so I gotta refill it but like

I need instant gratification and validation from strangers on the internet????? So this part is going up now lmao

Just got diagnosed

But er ah yeah ig i’m writing for harry potter too now??? 

More ranting in the tags bc otherwise we’ll both be here all night

Edit: rip to the four paragraphs of lost tags where I talked about Wallace and gromet