#humans can’t smell smh

[krakenartificer]

Earstripe: humans can’t smell

Davith: EVEN HUMANS CAN SMELL THIS ONE BUDDY!

[cowpokeomens]

Good morning squad I’m thinking bout

Matt who so clearly has a big ole crush on you and everyone knows except you and him it seems! It’s ironic because you’re so sweet and down-to-earth and Matt is. Himself. Anyways! The whole gang has a whole day to run amuck and explore The City right? And so everyone is making their little plans when like Nicky asks what you’re gonna be doing and if you wanna tag along with anyone. You’re like “what’s everyone doing?” And he says “some of us are gonna go walk around downtown, there’s some wildlife center that someone mentioned, and Noah said he’s just going to rot in bed for the morning and decide later.” And you’re like ooooh!! Wildlife center means goats I’m going there!! And Nicky is evil and says “cool Matt will go with you teehee bye” and Matt is pouting because he wanted the day to bro down with the owls and now some girl he doesn’t even like liar is coming with him smh so you’re hesitant but you go for the goats okay and Matt drives the rental and his mood is sour but you’re keeping your spirits high!! He doesn’t speak the entire time and when you try to engage in conversation he just grunts at you :-/ but you arrive safely and the folks working there are so nice and let you hold the chinchillas and the capybaras and Matt is actually cracking a smile watching you, takes lots of pictures bc he adores you the capybaras :-/ they let y’all meet Rocky the raccoon who’s recovering from a leg injury and Matt gets so excited that he goes from hesitant smile to literally beaming like a little kid, feeds Rocky little bits of fruit :-(( you take lots of cute pictures of him so you have evidence that he can feel human joy, y’all tromp around the center for hours petting deer and holding owls and giggling until the sun is starting to go down and you’re abt to pass out from hunger and Matt is like “cmon there’s a good place not too far from here” grabs your wee hand to help you navigate the “rough terrain” (there are some pebbles) but then ope! Doesn’t let go! No reason in particular! And it makes your tummy flip flop but it’s probably just because you’re starving so you write it off :-/ Matt opens your door when y’all get to the car :-/ someone cuts him off in traffic and his arm instinctively comes up in front of you :-/ he drops it onto your thigh and just :-/ leaves it there :-/ lets you queue up music and he bitches the entire time about it until you roll your eyes and put on like. PeelingFlesh or Cannibal Corpse or whatever passes the vibe check and then he’s rolling his eyes and saying “you can listen to your Taylor Swift it’s fine I don’t actually care-“ so you start bumping Picture to Burn and belting it out and he’s just :-( so fond :-( keeps smiling to himself bc he can’t name the emotion he’s feeling but I’ve thinks it’s content :-( y’all get food and you steal half his onion rings even though you swore you wanted fries and his foot keeps bumping into yours under the table and you don’t know why it’s giving you goosebumps!! It’s just cold in here that’s all!! When everyone gets back to the hotel you two are sitting on the couch practically in each other’s laps comparing photos of the day and giggling and teeheeing :-( he gets an arm behind your shoulders bc it was “falling asleep” so you’re all nuzzled up in his chest now and he smells like soap and grass and maybe you’re a little drunk on it but who knows :-( everyone knows

Anyways bye

[nomsfaultau]

So as a writing exercise, I went through the first sentences of all the chapters in Fault, so here they are:

The white cell walls got really boring after a while.

Time didn’t matter, or maybe Tommy just needed it to not matter.

Apparently it was cleaning day.

When the dark period began for real, Tommy was ready.

Tubbo was five and darting through the branches of the apple orchard.

The door opened.

“You said it wouldn’t hurt!”

Another night passed, or at least for Tubbo and Rosalind, and Tommy failed to show.

The first time they’d used the sleeping gas, Tubbo had been afraid upon waking up.

“Come on, you have to see for yourself,” Tubbo explained, leading Tommy over to the potato rows.

Bees began to drop to the ground, but a faint hissing noise remained.

The hall was empty.

The Foundation exit fell with a heavy thud, cutting off the blaring interior alarms and his friends.

Tommy startled awake to the familiar sound of the mechanisms in the door whirring.

I’ll never ask anything of you ever again. Please. Just one last time.

Tommy wasn’t exactly sure what it was that draped over his shoulders and coiled around his vision.

“No. I can’t do that,” Philza refused wearily.

“Turn signal!” Tubbo (that was their name, right??) shouted, slamming into the car door from Wilbur’s sharp turn.

Breakfast was nice, though overwhelming.

The glasses clinked together, producing a clear ringing note.

Footsteps. Heavy, quick, and plenty.

Philza smiled bitterly at their retreating backs.

This wasn’t the freedom Tubbo had promised. 

Ok, first off, The Blade could definitely recognize the Tubbo smashing was a bad thing. (….I’d like to clarify smashing as in hurt in a fight-)

It borrowed into the ancient brain, racing, dancing through synapses and searing the connections.

His hooves slipped beneath the edge of the garage door.

Tommy had been antsy all morning.

“Hello!” The familiar human smiled, though it felt faintly edged.

Carnage trailed to a door framed in Red within the Foundation.

Tommy stumbled to the ground, slipping out of the giant hand.

Woken by the smell of beans burning at dawn, Philza stretched to get out the discomfort of a poor night’s rest.

“…we’re just saying, if he isn’t going to bother giving us a real name, we don’t feel the obligation to use it. Why would this lizard guy need an alias huh? That’s sus.”

It appeared pain was scheduled for that morning.

He jolted up in the middle of the night.

“…which doesn’t tend to be a problem, but you can usually merge into a crowd and it’s fine…

WHY THE HELL ARE NEARLY 20% OF THEM TALKING ABOUT DOORS?!?! BRUH????? Like ‘oh cool half a million word fic, what’s it about?’ DOORS APPARENTLY! And then even more 1st sentences are about someone coming or going, like a ‘hello’ or ‘watched their retreating backs’ or talking about footsteps or freedom or something. Maybe the real Fault was the people who crossed an threshold along the way. Smh.

[zhongrin]

ー and that's a wrap!!!

note: this is a thank-you post and i’ll be posting an ‘explanation’ post after this, just give me some time to compile all the information <3

so. obviously i just have to do this because man. that was a whole ride hahahah thank you so so so so so SO MUCH to people who participated actively in the ebg???? i am????? not worthy??????? lsjdkfjskldf

special mentions to: (ps. please check them out; these are all wonderful, talented writers. be sure to read their rules first, though!!!)

@kurikurikurisu / @risustravelogue thank you for putting up with my insanity throughout this event…. and for being the first to bring in their hubby to sneak around the teahouse! lol smart move!! i’m guessing you’ll bring your other hubby next time for the fun of it and i am. looking forward to it already hahahah also that morse code → vigenere cipher will haunt my nightmares now thanks- /silly

@crystalflygeo you precious precious gem. i am still wheezing at that meme you sent me. here’s to hoping the next time crys visits the teahouse it doesn’t smell like sea salt and frost anymore heh ;)) also fontaine tea time double date when? <3

@floraldresvi thank you for being the source of romance this ebg lol tartarin is a sinking ship so everyone better hop in to covivi!! all jokes aside, i love writing your interactions with coviello so much (and based on the comments everyone else seems to enjoy it too hahahah) i 🚢!!!!!

@silentmoths MOTH!!! YOUR WINGS 😭 will drinking tea make it grow back??? i offer the finest silk for you to munch on after this hsdlfjskdf anyway, be it the last ebg or this one, i love seeing the little moth flying about in the teahouse hehe <3

@ainescribe / @lychniis i hate (read: love) you. why did you have to bring back the nightmarish cipher into this smh /j anyway…. another event to be recorded in the record keeper’s books, eh? i hope you enjoyed this ebg too <3

@queen-belial you madlad /pos. the way you write ousldjflshdjflksd i feel a little bad i can only respond with small snippets because man. those are. yummy yummy meals you were dishing out there!!! capitano is coming for childe’s ass atp that ginger better watch out lmaoooo

@abyssmal-skies tysm for granting me the opportunities to up the creepy factor lol i’m glad you managed to piece together what happened!! looking forward if you ever decide on joining an ebg next time :3

@the-travelling-witch HOLLYYYYYY. thank you for letting me 'borrow' your husband and allowing me to make him a little... uhh... #deranged lol. honestly you’re one of the reasons why i went “ok so…. only my blog needs to simp for childe. i don’t…. time to make someone else ‘run’ the blog…. >:)” because for lord’s sake i am very much not attracted to him and i just. can’t. do. it. #chilly4ever #chillyno1

@leftdestiny-posts / @intothegenshinworld that letter almost took me out ngl i am. i am still crying and sobbing over it hsldfjskldjflksdf PLEASE. also shiro protection squad &lt;;3 *silently wipes bloodied hand on a tea towel*

@kopidense / @ask-court-genshin heyyyy fellow murder accomplice (for legal reasons, disclaimer: this does not involve any real human bodies whatsoever) 🙌🏻 thanks for dropping by!! also pls tell your two friends i said hi winkwink #truezhonglimainsstickstogether /silly

@navxry actually yk what no. no thanks for you, you gremlin /silly but thanks for the trauma i guess- /j

@i23kazu YING!!! thank you so so so so much for hosting this ebg! it has been super fun and i (and i’m sure everyone else thinks the same) really appreciate your effort in putting things together!!

and of course all of the other people who sent in asks, be in anon or non-anon, be it a silly ask or a sabotage attempt or a rp attempt — please know that i really really really appreciate each and every single one of you!!!

your participation means a lot and it’s the literal driving force behind my passion in constantly drawing and writing stuff whenever i have time these past 7 days. i haven’t written or drawn any content whatsoever in weeks. do you see the power you hold over us writers by sending in fics & silly stuff now?? i hope you do.

also, even if you didn’t participate at all, i appreciate you for still sticking with me despite having to deal with my silliness for past week 😌

sending you all my kithes /p and hugs and a cup of your preferred tea! <3

[queenofallimagines]

The demon brothers reacting to black mc wash day

The way there are like four black characters in this game but not a single X black reader🤨 like I know you like making all your MC‘s pasty skinny insecure white girls but we don’t do that over here(Also can you notice I got side tracked with beel? Lmao)

Lucifer:

- okay so you may think he’s like thousands of years old so he knows everything about humans but he knows nothing

- He just assumes mammon let’s his hair do whatever

- Honestly thought he was buying all those hair products just to spend money smh

- So when he sees you walking by with a basket full of stuff he’s like??? Is it necessary

- “Hey Luci, mams is out so can you help me do my hair?”

- On the outside he’s all “ahah tiny human needs help”

- But we know he’s a big softy he’s trying not to cry bc that’s so domestic and intimate and he’s a sucker for that stuff

- Especially bc you made it clear(mainly asmo) that nobody could touch your hair without asking first

- “It would be my pleasure.”

- So he’s lowkey overwhelmed by the amount of stuff you have in the counter

- “You use all this???”

- “I got more in my bag”

- ????? Hello??

- But he’s a fast learner and gives great massages

- Got you falling asleep in the sink and he’s just starring at you with heart eyes

- “Next I defangle right?”

- “Yeah”

- Okay so please forgive him

- He’s used to trying-

- Keyword is try

- Ti helo mammon with his hair

- So he is snatching out the knots

- Like you thought your mom or auntie was bad?

- He’s pulling your head ALL the way back

- “LUCIFER”

- “Yeah?”

- Lmao you gotta use the pact to beat his ass

- “If you yank out another clump of my hair I will beat your ass.”

- Takes his time detangling now

- Mammon is laughing bc this why he don’t ask him for help no more

- “Yanked the shit outta your head didn’t he?”

- “BRO WHY IS HE SO ROUGH??”

- He had no idea how to braid so he will ask asmo how to braid your hair in secret

- He learns how to do cornrows pretty fast

- Will kiss your scalp when he thinks your sleeping too

- He loves how you smell

- He’s gon steal ya shea butter and blame it on asmo or mammon and he will lie straight through his teeth

- “I have shea butter already lucifer :/ you ain’t fooling nobody”

- Keeps a red silk bonnet on his room just for you

- Got silk pillowcases too

- He’s about a 6/10 on the scale bc he will give you the worst migraine if your life

Mammon:

- he’s literally black Lmao

- You can argue with ya moms idc he’s black and the devs know it too

- But he’s obviously the best at this

- My boy may have a silk press but you better believe when the humidity hits its back to 4c

- When he hears you complaining about how all your expensive hair products are back in the human realm he bust in with his loud ass

- “As your first man it’s obviously up to me to help u get that head together”

- Sir🤨 what you tryna say

- He’s super nervous bc he’s tender headed and only asmo and Lilith were allowed to touch his scalp

- “You can,,be a little rougher”

- He’s soft as hell lmao

- After wards will take you shopping for hair stuff

- He has like a whole drawer full of durags and bonnets

- “What color you want?”

- He’s the real plug lmao

- You and him be laughing at inside jokes the others can’t understand

- The black body language

- “👀🤨😘”

- “😌😙🥺”

- “What the fuck are y’all saying??”

- Bothering Satan!!

- Bro you can’t tell me he don’t look like any other white boy with a rich dad!!

- “I know he’s not wearing kakis”

- “It’s drip or drown and the water beating his ass”

- Anyway

- He will play prince

- Best wash day playlist on god

- Having Simon join in🥺🥺

- Maybe even helping diavolo not heat damage his hair🥰

- Y’all just have whole sleepovers

- Coordinating wash days so y’all can share products

- Group chat with hair inspo

- Macc daddy mc: okay but what if I pop out with these white locs?

- Mamoney: YOOO I GOT SOME LOC JEWELRY FOR THOSE

- angelfoodcake: I think they would look good in a bun

- Dia: slay!

- I’m sorry but he used aave bc he don’t know what it means like Lucifer is struggling bc he will say Random shit

- You I turn help with his hair

- He is super bougie with his product too

- “This is deep conditioner from the third layer of hell that contains the screams and tears of kkk members.”

- “…. Okay”

- Him and asmo do spa days shut up he’s a model he loves self care

- Right after wash day they do face masks

- Beaks combs

- Like his hair has a life of of its own you gotta ease into that mf bc you will start snapping metal combs

- Very chaotic but relaxing

Leviathan:

- lmao okay so this will be a struggle

- Like a first date with sweaty hands

- He probably buys a black hair salon simulator 😭😭

- Probably dry combs your hair

- Like he thought you were a demon for a sec when you whipped your head around

- “Boy I will rock your shit”

- “🥺🥺 okay”

- Might purposely mess up to have you snap on him at first he likes it when your sadistic

- But he will take it seriously when your a breath away from asking someone else for help

- He got them Gamer hands so he can section and part like a professional

- “Hand me the gel”

- Likes trying different hair styles out

- His favorite is a wash n go bc he likes seeing how it comes out differently every time

- Also you can wear your cute lil bedtime hat🥰

- He sleeps in a whole ass bathtub so he gets silk sheets and comforters and just piles em all in there

- Will wear a silk shirt to sleep bc he usually holds you when y’all slept together

- Will buy cute ruri-Chan clips to put in your hair

- Also devil horn clips that asmo bought you give him a heart attack every time

- Let’s you use his T-shirts as a towel

- Will bitch at you if you all asleep without wearing your bonnet

- “So you not wear the tsl bonnet got you for your birthday?”

- When he learns how to brain he could have half your head done in like 40 mins

- You already know he has all the slice of life anime with black main characters lined up for y’all to watch

- He’s trying his best and he is definitely succeeding

Satan:

- lmao okay so this one is funny

- Mr. Hit me or my father will sue

- He seems like he would get super frustrated and yank your hair out

- But I’ve men him personally and he wouldn’t never do that

- Before you even ask he’s read all the books he can and bothered mammon about it so he’s prepared

- He wouldn’t forgive himself if he hurt you anyway

- Prides himself on being better than Lucifer at something

- So when you offhandedly ask him to help with your hair he’s smiling so bright

- “Of course mc I’d love to”

- He’s already in his head trying to figure out which hairstylist

- Like he’s masters regular waves and finger waves

- He’s got this on lock

- He’s so gentle when he’s massaging your scalp

- “We should do a hot oil treatment,,,, just to be safe”

- Can’t be a lazy natural around him no sir

- He bothers you DAILY about your head and always got summ to say

- Like simmer down white boy worry about your cardigan 🙄

- “I can tell you ain’t oil your scalp last night”

- Boy if you don’t-

- Loves twist outs

- He can study your hair more that way

- Like what makes it not come out frizzy,how to make it pop

- Him and asmo are sifting through your hair products to make sure only the best ingredients are in there

- He’s your white knight too

- Anyone try to touch your hair demon or otherwise getting an elbow to the spinal cord no questions asked

- “Do you think your hair has high or low porosity?”

- He got your hair stats sitting in a notebook somewhere

- “High density with very fine strands.”

- Like he knows your hair more than you do

- Buys you a cat shower cap

- Also cat ears

- Cat anything you put on your head really he thinks they make you look cute

- “Mc! Do you want to listen to this audiobook with me? It’s about black hair throughout the decade.”

- Listening to natural hair horror stories on YouTube is a favorite past time

- Another one who loves the small of your products

- Will probably stand super close to you at all times to smell your hair

- “Smells like home”

- Like if he smells cocoa butter a mile away he knows your close by

- Go white boy go!

Asmodeus:

- Tbh he probably don’t know much about your hair

- Yeah he’s helped mams on occasions but that don’t mean y’all got the same hair texture or style

- Mams has like 4 a b and c all over

- You can too but I like to think his head a mess and he got different coils all over the place

- So he’s watching you like a hawk to see what products you be using

- Gets you even more expensive stuff

- “Do I need it tho?”

- “MC! This won’t be available for another century! Of course you need it!!”

- Loves doing puffs and pineapples

- Like he’s the master of doing edges

- So he lies it when he can see them clearly

- “My hard work🥰”

- Plenty of pictures

- # wash day!

- He probably got a long ass routine too so you guys do wash day together

- “You seen my African black soap?”

- “….. no”

- Steals your products too

- He wants to smell like a tropical garden too😡 you gotta share

- Buys you a silk durag that you wear in pictures

- Probably has bonnets that you can only wear in photos too

- His whole bed is silk sheets so don’t even worry

- He will be on your neck tho about your hair like Satan

- “ why is it so frizzy?? Did you not deep condition for 45 mins like I told you?”

- Says your stressing him out when you don’t deangle properly

- Lots of shopping trips

- Will match your outfits with your hair

- “Let me see what your hair looks like we got plans today”

- Favorite style is box braids and a fade

Beelzebub:

- baeby

- Like imma need y’all to stop thinking he’s stupid

- He’s a himbo but he knows about sex like his brother is the avatar of lust stop assuming he don’t know how to use the monster between his legs >:/

- Bc he knows how to EAT if anything else

- Anyway he will wash your hair in the shower

- His arms never get tired so he’s down to help you pull off a fly ass install

- Wig

- Some braids

- Locks

- Anything

- He is always ready and willing to help🥰

- Might eat your products tho

- “Where did my hair mayonnaise go??”

- “That wasn’t for my sandwich???”

- Lmao just get non scented stuff

- Probably gets horny bc you smell so good

- “I want to devour you”

- Go head then😳

- Soft dom but doesn’t know your limits so accidentally fucks you stupid

- Like he never realizes how hard he’s going or how feral he’s being

- So your brainless and drooling

- Tapped out like 5 orgasms ago

- And he’s like “you good?”

- Lmao he does kinda have an idea tho bc your choking on your own words begging him to slow down but he can’t get enough of your expression

- Wash day might as well be blow your back out day tbh

- Bc after you put your hair in that wrap it’s dinner time

- He’s gon make sure you are tired out

- Favorite hairstyle is those cute mini locs you get when your first licking your hair

- I think he likes short hair the most idk

- Let’s you use any of his shorts to dry your hair

- Will take off the shirt he’s wearing to let you dry your hair

- Will always have an umbrella ready in case it starts to rain

- Saw you upset bc it was storming and he bings an umbrella everywhere now

- Cute hair scarves

- Like he got you this cute marble orange scarf that you wear when you go on dates

Belphegor:

- This mf 😒

- I refuse to believe he’s the one that *spoiler for lesson 16*

- He’s literally so cute??? Like that’s a baby if I’ve ever seen one

- Dont let that cute face fool you tho

- He’s an menace

- Especially with hair

- Did you see that selfie he took?

- Yeah he’s a mess he don’t do mu with his hair but let it grow out

- Too tired to help you out with wash day but will hype you up

- Sleepily give you compliments and give cometary when asked

- “Try the other gel it might work better”

- “That Bantu knot of slightly bigger than the other one”

- will make sure your scarf stays safe all night

- 30 silk pillows

- “I stole this one from lucifer”

- Secretly refills your product when you’re running out

- The bottle was almost empty and now it’s completely full

- Will massage your scalp when washing your hair in the sink

- “This feels so domestic”

- He’s very soft about it

- Smiling the entire time

- Tells you you look cute to get you flustered

- Buys you cute hair accessories

- Like where did that cow hair pin come from?

- Definitely not him

- If your getting nasty he will ruin the whole mood to put your scarf on lmao

- “Ayo wait a min”

- Keeps one bonnet hidden in all his sleeping spots

- Just in case

- If your products got lavender in it he will fall asleep right next to your head

- “You smell so good I couldn’t resist mc”

[deceitful-darlings]

Lol octavinelle giving Mc a room for free* when she’s on her period because azul is not dealing with the Fae gang trying to steal his brand, those fuckers can’t even respect a copyrighted move smh

*she still has to work for azul as a secretary, mainly so that the leeches don’t get distracted by the smell of their favorite shrimps blood and azul can get all the up-skirt pictures he wants

You should know a deal like that from Azul is too good to be true, as much as they protect you and their copyright from the others, there’s also one big red flag. Floyd.

Sure, merfolk aren’t normally attuned to the smell of human blood since they don’t hunt them, this is the Leech twins we’re talking about. With how violent they are, it wouldn’t be surprising if the two of them had learned the smell of human blood. It probably isn’t all that noticeable to them if you don’t bleed heavily, that is unless you’re in the water. Never go swimming with the two of them whilst on your period, just saying.

It’s a very faint scent, but we all know what Floyd is like: an absolute pain in the ass, so of course he’s gonna try and bring up the fact that shrimpy is bleeding, don’t get too distracted even while working for Azul, otherwise you might end up with Floyd under the desk and under your skirt before you even realise! And make sure to read the employment contract carefully, you have to have one if you’re working as Azul’s secretary, so keep an eye out for the clauses that bind you to him and make it so you can never leave your job! If he isn’t a yandere, he can sell the upskirt pictures for a tidy profit, if he is, well I think we all know what he’ll use them for.

[shootyrefutey]

sonic gijinka lore (important)

I refer to human Sonic as Nicky (this is because of the manga).

Naturally black haired, dyes hair blue

I always draw him with visible eyelashes.

Needs glasses but hates wearing them, abysmal eyesight.

Has two little strands of hair that stick out on top of his head like an ahoge

(if after Sonic Unleashed) wears Chip’s bracelet

5 foot 5 inches tall (short king)

He rarely wears his hoodie, and likes keeping it around his waist. The back of his hoodie says ‘welcome to the next level’ (deep cut reference)

Also wears bandages around his arms like Boom. This is because his hands go purple and veiny at night, as a side effect of the werehog transformation. (I call them cabbage hands)

Despite me literally making a guide for his design, the plasters can constantly change colour and position. This is on purpose trust me it's totally not because i can't be bothered with consistency. Of course, like 50% of human Sonic designs, he has one on his nose to signify he's a rambunctuous fellow.

Has a huge scar on his chest marking where Mephiles impales him with the laser, as he died that way in an alternate reality (06). He isn’t sure why he has it. He remembers the events of 06 vividly but he considers it a weird fever dream.

Has a few scars on his back where he was cut with the big fans in Eggmanland (hate those fans smh)

Legs and arms have burn scars from Angel Island. Will I ever draw these? No. Is it useful? No.

Has a front tooth missing, he was punched in the face hard by Knuckles at the start of Sonic 3

He pretty much the same personality as the original

A lot more nerdy. Likes reading books a lot more, part time mechanic. Has a sporty element too. Like half nerd/half jock.

Not good at talking to new people, he comes across very obnoxious to those not already used to him. Ambivert.

He smells like wet grass and lemons.

I think of him as around 17? Classic is like 8.

Mostly mute until he was like 13 I think, he started talking a lot. When he gets stressed out he goes mute again

Is bisexual (bisexual rights)

Native Japanese speaker, english is his second language. And yeah I know I can’t draw a consistent face (the opposite of same face syndrome) but I intended for him to be Japanese-American.

I also intended for him to be a trans male (because the trans Sonic headcanon slaps) but I didn’t ever bring this up because I’m not sure how to portray trans characters.

I’ve started referring to my human Shadow as Julien and if you take one step onto my Spotify I think you can guess why.

Due to the difficulties of growing a human in a test tube, some spaces on his body, his skin hasn’t grown in correctly and looks raw.

He hasn't slept in 50 years

He’s 5 foot 4.

He’s really into figure skating

his eye's all fucky wucky because infinite messed it up (the eye that’s covered in this image)

his goggles and neckerchief are based off a sonic channel art i saw somewhere

the shoes are dolce and gabbana

I have no lore on metal other than he’s 5′3 and a sonic kinnie (no doubles allowed)

formatting is kinda wack, Tumblr refused to allow me to move the picture. anyway like comment fave subscribe :)

[oexen]

Do you have any Valdemar headcanons you'd be willing to share? ^^

OF COURSE I DO thank u for asking anon, i ended up writing a bunch of stuff wehehe i hope u enjoy

Fluff

• I love to think that they have a secret penchant for cute tiny things, and I do mean things that are widely publicly accepted as cute and it would be super embarrassing if anyone found out. No one can ever know.

• They carry fantasy HotHands ™ in their pocket. :^)

• They’d get offended if you accused them of committing some atrocity or crime, but not for the right reasons. How dare you insinuate they’re a filthy pleb, obviously they’re above that, Fool.

• They really try to be funny, even if subconsciously. (Dr. 069 in the house, calling MC a Fool haw haw, oh woops, looks like I have interrupted your Romantic Endeavors :3c, how do you do fellow humans) One of these days someone will laugh at their dry ass non-jokes, right? Right???

• If they really wanted to they could whip out their tentacles to do menial tasks but it’s more fun to watch other more perishable beings try hard to do things for them

• Duck whisperer, no one knows why. Quackstor

• They never put anything extra in their tea.

• I think they’re generally very clean, and they’d smell like clean laundry or nothing. Alcohol would dry their shit all the way out, and it’s pretty difficult to keep yourself clean when you wear all white all the time, so I don’t think they’d smell like death, decay, chemicals, the dungeon, etc. They’re completely swaddled and must look ✨ crisp ✨. Their eldritch spaghetti form would have to smell like nothing or it would have an aoe instadeath radius for sure.

• Theatre kid. Horse kid. Where are their horse demon characteristics smh

• As much as they’re ~above humans~ they’re still thirsty for juicy drama and will use themself to that end. They’re more there for the drama than they’re an active threat unless they’re ordered to do things, but they’ve still shown they won’t follow orders to the letter unless they personally want to.

• They hate all the paperwork they’re stuck with :3

Angst under the cut!

• They’re touch-starved. Getting physically close to MC is a 2 birds 1 stone situation, they get to scare the pants off them (oops ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )and they microdose intimacy.

• I like thinking about how Valdemar’s emotions, especially their love of discovery, were torn away from them over the course of their deal-making, so they’re now obsessed with science and research in the same way that Volta’s obsessed with food, they can’t stop pursuing it, they know they’re supposed to like it, but they can’t really taste the fruits of their or anybody else’s labor :’^) Their insistance that they ~love~ death and decay is a cover story, mostly. The sentiment used to have meaning.

• They could, once again, whip out their tentacles at any point when they’re alone in the dungeon all the time, but they try to remember what it is to feel like a person sometimes. They know no one’s coming down there anymore, and they’d save themself some trouble if they casually used demon powers, but they don’t. It’s weirdly vulnerable.

• Kinda fluff, kinda angst, Valdemar likes tea and the feeling of a warm drink is supposed to make people happier/friendlier as well as it simulates human touch, and I feel like they use that to feel something (like the ghost of a warm fuzzy feeling B’^) ) considering it’s something small and frivolous they go out of their way to enjoy. If you hold their hands they don’t feel the need to make tea as often ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) They cling to the last shreds of their humanity with everything they have or they wouldn’t be able to function properly.

• Underneath all their posturing and effortless intimidation, they know they fucked it all up big time, but they’ve at least convinced themself that they’ve accepted it. They’re stuck, bored as hell, and know they can’t reverse anything, so why bother entertaining the thought of regret? I think MC noting that Valdemar couldn’t have made certain expressions Muriel did speaks to that they only allow themself a small range of emotions.

• Their relationship with Death really closely mirrored Nadia’s relationship with the High Priestess, when they were human. They didn’t have a strong support network though, and thus were more inclined to accept deals from the Devil. Death might have taught them a lot, and Valdemar at least acts as if death and its processes are all they care for; they don’t have much else. I think they say a lot of things to convince themself that whatever they’ve done isn’t fucked up beyond all reason (ends justify the means wink wonk), as much as it also works as a facade.

• They started with good intentions, they wanted to discover things and help people, if they were that ancient alchemist, something made them desperate. They went too deep in the Devil’s bogo deal special, Death’s disappointment felt like a betrayal (Don’t you think I should help more people? Why are you so against my success?) and Death’s pain may not have occurred to them.

• The breakdown of Valdemar’s relationship with Death must have been long and painful on both sides at some point, but by the time Death was weakened like the Hierophant in Nadia’s route, Valdemar had their own blinders on🐴 and/ or was too deep in the Devil’s thrall to acknowledge what it really meant.

• They had a need for power and control over their life and ended up giving up what little they really had for illusions of these things, and once they realized that’s what was happening, it was far too late. Can’t half-ass it though I guess lol they said crank that shit up to 11. Then they just ended up with all the paperwork lmfao

Misc

• They helped create an entire society that at some point was even advanced and prosperous, and while they say they love to see it fall, it also means it’s in their best interest to help in bringing it up. They also would rather be employed than not, and love having opportunities to reject invitations to meetings and other things.

[mintugiyuu]

oh! its okay, i'll try to word it as close as possible to the first time.

may i please have the main group with a trans male reader who is stealth and kind of scared of how they'll react coming out to them?

(gosh i hope thats close enough, my memory is not the best,,)

thank you so much!!

thank you so so much for resending this!! I’m so sorry it got deleted the first time around, it was early in the morning and I wasn’t using my noggin when I was trying to draft it ;3;

for the kamaboko squad, I left it so it could be interpreted as romantic or platonic! for nezuko I did it more platonically, I hope that was ok! thank you for requesting and I hope these are enjoyable to read! I hope you’re well <3

꒰🌤꒱ — as it’s always been.

sfw scenarios + head-canons

➥ characters || kamado tanjirou, kamado nezuko, hashibira inosuke, agatsuma zenitsu

➥ warnings || none

➥ synopsis || the reader hesitantly comes out as trans to the kamaboko squad, nervous to what they’ll think and say; here is how they would react.

➥ kamado tanjirou:

- Tanjirou has a great sense of smell, so there’s no hiding your anxiety/nervousness about coming out. He’s most certainly going to ask you what’s wrong, nothing but concerned for your state of being.

- As you’re explaining and officially coming out to him, he’s very attentive; nodding and making sure you knew he was listening.

- He knows this must be very hard and nerve-wracking for you, so he lets you finish speaking before responding himself.

- Tanjirou, being the sweetheart he is, immediately reassures you that he thinks no different of you and still loves you through and through!

- If he’s honest, he’s a bit surprised. The boy definitely wasn’t expecting this, but regardless he’s very glad that you’re happy with who you are and honored that you trust him enough with this information.

- Expect lots of words of support and small actions of comfort/affection. Tanjirou immediately pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back as he tells you how proud he is of you, and how the information you told him will stay between you two (unless/until you tell the others; he knows it’s not in his place). He’d hold both your hands to his chest as he promises you that nothing has changed between the two of you, giving you his infamous gentle smile.

- Like he promised, nothing changes between you two. Everything is as it was before, and unless you want to talk about the topic at hand, he won’t even bring it up. It just goes to show he doesn’t mind what so ever and supports you all the way!

➥ kamado nezuko

- When it comes to Nezuko as a demon, she doesn’t really have a true understanding of anything that’s going on around her; she goes with her emotions and the emotions she’s picking up around her. Of course, she can tell when there’s danger and understand basic conversations. But other than that, all she really can understand is protect, sleep, and head pats.

- So you wouldn’t outright come out to her, knowing she probably wouldn’t understand regardless. It happens by accident, kind of.

- She spends her days in a dark room of the butterfly mansion as the others are healing, either sleeping or doing her own thing. You’re probably pacing around the room, trying to plan out how to officially tell the other boys and properly come out to them.

- Nezuko notices your distress from where she was playing with a handkerchief you gave to her after one of your missions.

- “Hmmmph!”

- In other words, she’s grabbing your attention, looking lost to why you’re pacing. In a “hey! what are you doing?” kind of way.

- When you didn’t notice her attempts, she huffs, hopping off the bed and making her way to you. She’s in her small form currently, trying to regain her energy but wanting to be awake to be in your company.

- You’d feel her tug at your uniform, making several muffled questionable noises at your pacing. If you tried to brush her off, telling her “it’s nothing”, she’s calling you out on your bull and tugging you to the bed.

- Sit criss-cross and watch her crawl into your lap as a toddler would do to an older sibling (for she saw you as another big brother), grabbing your arms and making it so you were hugging her.

- This gives you no room but to explain yourself, so you did. As you come out to her and explain how you’re nervous to tell the others, she’d.. not be the most understanding.

- Understanding as in she doesn’t comprehend what you’re telling her. But she does her best to listen, feeling how important this is to you and how anxious you’re reacting.

- She cuts you off of a nervous ramble of all the bad outcomes with a head-pat to your head, closing her eyes with a small “hmhmph!” coming from under her muzzle.

- Expect a good ole Kamado hug, tiny edition. And she’s not letting you go, not even when it was time for dinner.

- She calms you, knowing in your heart that even if she’s not completely aware, she still loves you and hopefully the others will as well (they will of course).

- Before you have to go, she grips onto your sleeve and pulls the muzzle off her mouth, giving you a sharp toothed smile. Before you can tell her to put it back on, that you don’t want anyone to see her with it off, but she gets one word out with the biggest beaming smile.

- “Oniisan!” (“Big Brother!”)

- .... and pats her head. She wants head pats too. Nothing’s changed, you’re still the best head pat giver she knows.

➥ !! spoilers for chapter 204 !! bonus: after the final battle, if you were to come out to a now human Nezuko, she’d react much like Tanjirou; just a lot more bubbly with more bright smiles. Unlike Tanjirou, she’d be more.. “aggressively” supportive. Basically, she wouldn’t hesitate to throw hands at anyone who says something purposely ignorant. It’s terrifyingly sweet; no one messes with her big brother.

➥ hashibira inosuke

- Inosuke has very sensitive skin, so he’s getting goosebumps from the anxiety your giving off. It annoys and confuses him, not understanding what’s going on for you to be so nervous.

- “Oi! You’re making my skin prickly!! Stop that!!”

- It’s his way of asking what’s wrong, wanting to know how to stop it.

- Your anxiety hits an all time high as you let it out, officially coming out to him.

- ... But he doesn’t know what “trans” means, so he’s confused. He stands there, blinking under his pig mask.

- “... What? What the hell is that?” He may sound brash, but he just hates not understanding things. He wants to understand more than everyone else, after all, so don’t take it personally.

- After a long bit of explaining it clearly to him, you two are sitting on the ground, Inosuke with his hands in his lap as he stares at you.

- He’s surprisingly silent the whole way through, and not being able to see his true facial expression just makes you all the more nervous.

- If you were to nervously ask him to take his mask off, you were expecting a hard no. What you weren’t expecting was for him to hesitate for only a moment before taking it off, setting it down in to his lap.

- Inosuke’s eyebrows would be furrowed, his mouth turned down as he looked at you closely. Bracing yourself, he responded.

- “So?”

- That definitely isn’t what you would be expecting.

- Now he didn’t mean this in any negative connotation at all. He fully understands what it means now and what you told him - and to note he’s completely fine with it - he’s just confused to why it’s such a big deal. (If anything he respects you even more, finding you extremely strong.)

- Inosuke doesn’t care how you were born or what you choose to be; at the end of the day you’re his favorite sparring partner! Plus, he has to keep you around. He wants to understand the warm fuzzies he gets in his tummy when you do nice things for him.

- “Doesn’t matter what you are, I can still kick your ass!!” He says as he tackles you to the ground.

- All’s well ends well, and much like Tanjirou, it seems nothing would change between you two.

➥ agatsuma zenitsu

- The high-pitched anxiety sound emitting from you is giving Zenitsu a headache; he’ll make sure to complain about it loudly so you know.

- If you apologized for it while fidgeting, he’ll soften his whining tone and ask why you’re so nervous anyways? It’s day, so it’s not like you have demons to fear.

- You hesitate, stuttering around the topic before officially coming out, explaining that to him and why you’re so nervous.

- Zenitsu.. definitely was not expecting that. He’d go wide-eyed, clearly shocked at the information.

- “HUH??? YOU’RE WHAT???”

- If you were to flinch at his shouts, he’d pause and look to you; watching how you curled up on yourself, scared you looked for a bad reaction.

- Instead he immediately goes to reassure you.

- “IM SORRY!! I-I didn’t mean it like that!! PROMISE! I just wasn’t expecting that!! I wouldn’t ever have guessed!!- I MEAN-!!” He’s talking way to fast for you to even understand, so the more you looked lost the more Zenitsu feared he messed up the trust you must’ve had for him in order to tell him that.

- Eventually he’d break down, getting on his hands and knees while bowing his head to the floor, gripping your pant leg all while begging you to forgive him.

- You’re the one who originally needed comfort here, not him. Smh Zenitsu.

- In all seriousness, reassure him that he’s ok. He meant no harm by his reaction, he just tends to be over-dramatic with his reactions and emotions.

- Once he’s calm, he’d sniffle and be sitting next to you, shoulder to shoulder.

- Zenitsu gives it a few minutes before asking questions, making sure he’s understanding 100% and not getting anything wrong.

- The blonde-boy knows about how hard struggles in life can be; he’s struggled his whole life when it comes to finding a home and a place of belonging, being homeless for the first 3/4’s of the life he’s lived so far. He knows he can’t compare his struggles to the things you must’ve gone through, but he can clearly and easily sympathize.

- He reassures you that he thinks no different of you, if anything he admires the way you could be so brave about it.

- It’s a quiet moment between the two of you as Zenitsu continues his rambles (still scared he ruined whatever is between you two a moment ago), circling over the same couple topics; how he supports you, will support you through anything, that he sees you no differently and that nothing will change.

- Please place your hand over his mouth or he’ll keep going all day; his anxiety rambles are said to last hours.

- This has only made you two closer, the others finding you and Zenitsu sticking/hanging around each other more and more frequently. In the end, your happy you told him.

[obeiii-mee]

Heyo, this is my first time asking (im kinda new to tumblr, so please dont judge) if you would'nt mind, could you do some headcannons (or oneshots, it dosen't matter) with all the demon bros and a MC who is crippled/paralized in their legs, and has to use a wheelchair to get around? Thank you!!

——————————-

This is the first time I’ve written about a crippled MC, so I hope I didn’t fuck this up or anything. I found out that being paralysed in both legs is a disability called Paraplegia so that’s how I titled this post. And y’all are too sweet, you are more than welcome anon! I hope I can portray this properly because I am not crippled myself so I’ve opted to do some research before writing this! I hope you like it! Also, I feel inclined to add that none of the brothers would treat you too differently if you happen to have a disability because you’re their human nonetheless :)

——————————-

The Brothers with an MC that has Paraplegia and needs a wheelchair to get around:

Lucifer:

-Lucifer was in charge of choosing the final human, exchange student for the program so it’s guaranteed he already knew about your predicament before you even arrived

-Him and Diavolo probably had many meetings concerning your disability before the program could commence, considering that being unable to walk would double the chances of you getting killed since you are obviously more vulnerable

-Not to mention all the treatment you would require

-Lucifer is not well versed in human illnesses and disorders, but he makes sure that he is educated enough on the matter before you get brought down there

-It would not be easy, but he is determined to help you survive your year in DevilDom for the prince’s sake

-First problem of the day was, of course, your wheelchair

-Due to lack of time, Lucifer was unable to instal ramps around the House of Lamentation which meant that for the first couple of weeks, someone would’ve had to help you move around certain parts of the house

-He gave that highly prestigious job to himself because he didn’t trust his brothers and thought they would accidentally drop you and your wheelchair down the stairs

-He talks a lot to you, even at the beginning, because he needs to establish your needs and what he should do to make sure you don’t die for the following year

-You would have to tell him about physical therapy and how most commonly it uses heat, massage and exercise to stimulate your nerves and muscles, making it a great treatment for people with leg paralysis

-Once you two enter a more intimate and personal relationship, it’s more than likely he’ll help you perform those things himself (instead of kidnapping a human doctor from somewhere)

-Lucifer knows you have no problem getting around with your wheelchair by yourself but there are times where he’ll insist to push you along in order to give you a quick break

-I can totally imagine you two strolling around DevilDom and having cosy chats about RAD and your adjustments to DevilDom

-He has a softer side to him that he’s afraid to show most of the time, but he feels so at ease when you’re around, it’s hard for him to hold that part of him hidden from you

-Of course, your safety still remains his primary concern and he acts more like your guardian than Mammon does, even if he was originally supposed to look out for you

-He will accompany you almost anywhere. And if he can’t, he’ll have one or more of his brothers do it. And even then he’s probably lurking nearby, just in case

-He would always be willing to listen about your condition, if you wished to tell him whether you were born with the defect or why you ended up crippled later in life. Either way, he’s all ears

-If you would rather not speak about it, he wouldn’t pry and respect your decision because he knows it’s not his place to pressure you

-Because of your paralysis, it’s quite obvious to demons that you are even weaker (physically speaking) than most humans and that usually puts a target on your back

-Howver, never fear, because Lucifer is pretty quick to put lower rank demons in their place with just a mere stare

-Oop one of them passed out from the fear, haha

-In conclusion, he’s the most responsible when it comes your comfort and safety during your stay

-He makes sure you are always left in good hands and and provides most of the requirements you need

-Y’all should see how his wings puff up when he senses a threat approaching you, he looks like a peacock ready to go on attack lol

Mammon:

-The second born is unsurprisingly a bit of a jerk at first

-He stays really grumpy the whole day of your arrival because he’s stuck babysitting you stupid human

-���Lucifer c’mon, what’s all this workload for? The human can’t even walk by themselves, why do I have to help them out?”

-Wtf Mammon you can’t say shit like that

-Anyways, the following very few days, the only thing he’s thinking about is how much money he could sell your wheelchair for

-He’s the literal incarnation of greed, what else did you expect from him?

-After a while, he starts feeling a bit guilty every time he thinks about it though

-Mammon is gonna take this secret to the grave (laughs in immortal) but he actually really likes pushing you around

-Maybe it’s because it’s a clear indication to everyone around him that you are HIS human, under HIS protection and therefore you trust HIM the most since he was your FIRST MAN

-He will insist on helping you get out of that thing when you need to go to bed and stuff every night and he will get pouty real fast if you let any of his other brothers do it

-You wake up to him trying to roll around in your wheelchair one night at like 3am

-At some point, he stole a wheelchair from the human realm to match with his human. You can guess the consequences of his actions

-I can imagine you having to face a staircase or something at school and Mammon being like:

-“Fuck it, imma carry this fragile human instead; wheelchair and all!”

-Like you were a sack of potatoes or something smh

-Cue his brothers watching him from a distance as he heaves you and basically weight-lifts you up the stairs

-Ok but every now and again, he gets so sad thinking about you not being able to walk, like he starts crying kinda sad

-While you stand there like 😐 “Why are you crying?”

-He’s so quick to help if he senses you’re in danger too

-It’s canon that Mammon is crazy fast if he wants to be so if he has even the slightest impression that your life is threatened, his feet are already moving

-He will charge at your immediate threat at around 120 miles per hour-do not try him when he’s mad

-“The Great Mammon saved the day! C’mon MC, let’s go buy some ice cream. My treat! Ya better be grateful!”

-He says while the demon that tried to eat you lies on the floor with about a dozen broken bones

-Mammon is the second most powerful demon out of all of his brothers, even if he doesn’t resort to violence often

Levi:

-He didn’t really know how to react when you first teleported to DevilDom

-I mean, from the very beginning he considered you to be a human normie but at the same time, he felt bad you were stuck with his brothers for the rest of the year

-I think he would understand you would have an even harder time integrating yourself in their house because of your disability and he knows his siblings are really fucking annoying, always pushing you around and whatnot

-So, he kinda lets you hide in his room quite often

-You guys chill out in there all the time, much to the dismay of the other brothers who also want to spend time with you

-At some point, Levi definitely begged asked Lucifer to let you start online classes with him

-“But wouldn’t it be easier for MC to do online school from home rather than go to R.A.D since there aren’t any ramps or anything around there???”

-“The answer is no Leviathan.”

-“Ugh fine! What a fucking boomer-“

-For some reason, he gets so flustered whenever you ask him to push you around

-He blushes right to the tips of his ears and then he starts sputtering some nonsense that you can’t make out at all

-But he’s more than happy to do it, especially if you guys are going to a convention or if he’s dragging you out to buy new merch

-You two would get along in the sense that Levi realises the struggles you faced all your life were tough to overcome and he believes you are just like him

-Usually left out by other people, ignored even

-He knows you always listen to him ramble on about whatever he is currently obsessed with and how much you check up on him to make sure he never isolated himself

-He wants to do that for you too! Talk to him about your hobbies, please I’m begging you-he feels so bad whenever he’s doing all the talking

-If you ask him to help you with anything (getting something, helping you into bed—that sort of thing), he legally and physically can’t say ‘no’

-And he would get envious enough to stop talking to you for a day or two if you let his brothers do it instead (the second and third born are indeed similar lmao)

-S T A Y I N H I S R O O M, W H E R E Y O U C A N B E P R O T E C T E D !

-He will feel so much more at ease if you’re in his room because to him, that’s his haven

-If you’re in there with him, that means you’re not getting involved in his siblings’ endless and dangerous shenanigans

-Whenever you’re at school, he can’t help but worry about your well-being

-Because you’re human! You’re gonna get killed!! Do you know how much your organs sell on the black market in DevilDom??? 100x more than in the human realm, that’s for sure

-Would they have a black market or would it be a regular market lol

-For some reason, he also likes staying in your wheelchair when you’re not using it

-I think he just takes comfort in knowing it’s something that belongs to you and smells like you and-

-OK Levi, sit back down

-He wouldn’t treat you any differently if you had a disability tbh, but he’d be more concerned because you can’t even run away or anything

-So he’s so fuckin’ relieved when you guys are just vibing in his room

-He could die happy knowing he kept his best friend/ partner safe

Satan:

-Satan would be even more prepared for your arrival than Lucifer would, in a sense

-Out of all of his brothers, he’s most likely to understand and recognise paraplegia (either from studying human illnesses/birth defects/disabilities or from encountering humans with said disability)

-He’s a smart boy, alright?

-Always seems to be the first to notice if you need help or if someone’s bothering you

-Though in the very beginning, he was pretty tempted to just let you get killed to see how angry Lucifer could get

-Seeing dear Luci’s misery brings him great joy 🥰🥰🥰

-Once you two manage to build a very honest and strong relationship, he feels more and more inclined to keep you out of harm’s way

-Pls, he would feel so honoured if you let him push you around (it’s like you asked him to h*ld h*nds or something)

-If you require treatment of any kind, he would be so happy to help

-But in a subtle way...?

-Satan makes it seem so smooth too like he doesn’t mind lending a helping hand when in reality he’s all giddy inside

-*Kinda wants to rub it in his brothers’ faces but at the same no, because he’s definitely the bigger person here

-He wants to know how your wheelchair works

-It’s got all of these neat mechanisms and he wants to learn how they’re constructed because he never had the chance to inspect one before

-He’s such a sweetheart about asking you as well and never pries about your disability unless you start elaborating yourself

-Most of the time, he acts all charming and very gentleman-like

-So people have a hard time spotting and acknowledging the building rage inside of him every time he sees you are threatened by some moronic low rank demon

-Satan’s usually chill when it comes to injuries, unless he can see you’re in horrible pain

-There’s nothing a few spells can’t accomplish

-But when others purposefully try harming you?

-It’s like he loses all the self control he’s been trying to perfect over the centuries and he can’t help himself from at least breaking someone’s rib cage

-Satan’s a weird one because he’s protective of you even though he’s more on the relaxed side when compared to his siblings

-He very much acknowledges that you made it this far in life with your predicament so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you or anything

-You’re strong and he knows this

-It’s one of the many things he clearly loves about you

-That one time you rolled over Mammon’s foot with your wheelchair on purpose, he was wheezing

Asmo:

-Even now, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be stuck inside a wheelchair for the rest of his eternal life

-I mean, he’d obviously still be absolutely fabulous, have you seen him? He’s gonna be gorgeous either way

-But after the two of you meet, he definitely starts thinking about how he takes his feet for granted all the time

-It would be so difficult to complete his daily tasks without the ability to walk or run around

-That’s why he gets sad every time he remembers that’s your reality and on days like that, you’ve noticed he gives you a helluva lot more attention than usual

-He knows you don’t need pity or anything so he’s just making sure his human has all the support they can get

-Paraplegia or not, shopping trips are still a go-go

-He loves buying you clothes! And he loves helping you try them on! Asmo takes it very seriously

-Might have a go at the employees if they’re being rude to you

-You don’t even ask him to, but he subconsciously starts pushing you around himself whenever the two of you are out together

-“MC! Look at that new shop that’s just opened! Isn’t it adorable? We have to check it out!”

-He can’t help it! There’s so many places he wants to visit, he sort of just drags you with him wherever he goes

-Even at home, he always pops out of nowhere to coax you into coming to his room

-Y’all have so many skin routines to do each day

-Like he’s in your room most nights to greet you goodnight and tuck you in, with the rest of his brothers it gets so awkward at times

-Asmo just wants to see you smile, ok? He thinks you have a beautiful smile and laugh and he wants to remind you that you’re marvellous, disability or not

-And if anyone does anything to put an end to your self confidence, he will swiftly put an end to their life

-Please, he’s a pro at ruining lives, he’s been doing it for centuries

-Asmo has such a huge influence over the people in DevilDom, he just needs to make this one post on Devilgram to end said demon’s whole career

-I mean, who is he compared to him, Hmm? So don’t worry MC, scum like that don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you :)

-That one time Mammon tried lifting you up the stairs and Asmo started shrieking, like put them down! Don’t manhandle them like that, poor human :(

Beel:

-I know I sound repetitive, but he would be an overall sweetheart to you no matter the circumstances

-If Mammon is not by your side, then Beel definitely is

-His big, scary aura and figure usually scares off any threat in a 10 mile radius

-Most demons don’t fancy being eaten by the Avatar of Gluttony, ya know?

-Idk why but I feel like he’d be the type to ask for oral consent every time he wanted to push you around

-He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable :(

-Surprisingly also the type to lift you and your wheelchair whenever an obstacle gets in your way

-You basically weigh the same amount as a paper plate compared to him, so he has no problem doing so

-He doesn’t really understand your condition as well as Satan may do, but he’s trying his best

-You mean so much to him and he feels it’s only fair he learns more about your disability as a thank you for what you’ve done for him

-He has a rough time keeping up with you when it comes to stuff like physical therapy because he’s very unfamiliar with it but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna help

-Of course, Beel believes that this is the second best way to show you how much he cares for you besides the obvious ‘I love you’

-Giving you a hand whenever you need his support the most

-That’s his way of saying “I’m not going to let you down. I want you to trust me, the same way I trust you.”

-And knowing him, he will try to do everything in his power to keep you safe and sound

-After a while, you’re bound to notice he’s the first one to pull you out of his brothers’ pranks before you have a chance to get hurt

-Beel is always the one handing you stuff from high places you can’t reach, without teasing you for it like Mammon might do

-Always the first one to remind you to get plenty of rest and to eat enough

-He wants to protect you and his brothers because he knows he failed to do so with Lilith so yeah, he’s a bit overprotective at times

-He doesn’t mean to be overbearing, but he gets so anxious knowing you’re by yourself

-After a few months of getting accommodated with him, your disability is no longer brought up in the conversation

-Because he doesn’t care that you are crippled and forced to use a wheelchair

-You are part of his family and he loves you no matter what

Belphie:

-He didn’t really care, even when you first met and his hatred for humans was at its very peak

-It didn’t matter that you had a disability

-All that mattered to him at the time was killing you to satisfy that deeply rooted need of vengeance inside of him

-Though he was sort of surprised his brothers didn’t get to you first

-In general, he’s pretty chill about you being crippled in both legs

-It takes too much effort to worry about your well-being 24/7 after all

-Surprisingly, he does keep an eye out for you if his siblings aren’t nearby

-It’s his redemption arc people, he’s trying to be nicer

-But he has such an irritating way of showing his affection for you

-Do not let him push you around

-He’s either going to a) fall asleep after 30 seconds and slump over you in the middle of RAD’s halls

-Or b) be annoying and fling your wheelchair in every direction possible just to piss you off

-He likes messing with you because you give him the best reactions and he thrives on that

-You’ve almost fallen off your wheelchair multiple times because of this asshole

-Not that he’d actually let you fall, he just wants to see how easily he can get you to yell at him

-Speaking of said wheelchair, like Mammon and Levi, he also loves using it when you’re not

-You’ve woken up to him curled up and asleep in that thing quiet often and he’s gotten in trouble over it every time with Lucifer

-But he doesn’t care

-And at this point, I don’t think even he knows whether he’s doing it to get a reaction out of you or because he somehow found a way to make himself comfortable there

-He would low key use you as a mode of transportation every time you go to RAD

-Just clings the damn wheelchair and almost topples both of you over

-“Belphie, there’s nothing stopping you from walking 😐”

-“Shh, just bring me to class and let me nap until then.”

-He doesn’t mention your legs but he still lays his head on your lap often

-Might make you hold him like a bride every time you stroll around the house

-It’s done out of love, I promise 😌😌

———————————

Al~

[simplyotometrash]

Hello! I hope it’s okay if I’m requesting something again (It’s me from the fashion mess request ^^) Would you be able to do a scenario where gn!mc sorta remembers that Oh right! They’re a human and therefore can age and yknow die and they go to Asmo to voice their worries? I always wonder how someone who is A, immortal, and B, is as “self centred” as Asmodeous would react to someone being scared of death, idk I’m just in a angst reading mood-

I can surely try! I'm not too good at angsty stuff but this is the best I have for you!

Asmo x GN! MC/reader

Warnings: probably really badly written angst smh, don't judge me because I am rusty

Asmo had never thought about your mortality before. You were his human, his muse. The only person he felt he loved as much or even more than himself. While his narcissism was all a façade, it was hard to love anyone to the extent he loved himself. Until you came along. It felt strange but wonderful, beautiful but scary. He did not realize just how vulnerable being in love could make him feel.

You, on the other hand, had so much love to give. You were loving to all the brothers, though only Asmo was the one who garnered romantic affections. You just knew there was something sweet and kind behind his self-centered act. You were right, of course. The day you two started dating was the day you temporarily forgot that you were mortal.

Not now, though. You were looking through your belongings when it dawned on you: you were mortal. You were destined to grow older and eventually die. Being in the Devildom, you honestly forgot all about your own mortality. It was easy to forget when you were surrounded by magic. Hell, you knew a sorcerer who was centuries old and didn't look a day over 21. Of course you forgot about it. You let yourself believe that you were privy to escaping the clutches of your own mortality.

Needless to say, that spiraled you into a bout of existentialism that you could not shake. Being at odds with your inevitable fate was scary. You weren't even going to die soon. You were young and had so much life ahead of you. It paled in comparison to the many centuries your friends and boyfriend spent alive. They had lived for so long, never growing old and never worrying about their own death. You were just a human. You weren't anything special. You didn't have whatever magic that Solomon had to stay alive and young. You would die and everyone would eventually forget about you.

Asmo had been in his room when you showed up. You knew exactly where to find him. He had just begun to run a luxurious bubble bath for himself that he was already planning to invite you over to join him in. That was when he heard his door open and your smell hit his nose.

"Dearest! I was just about to come for you. I'm running us a bubble bath and-" He stopped at the sight of your face. You were chewing on the inside of your cheek, picking at your nails, and you looked utterly distressed. "Darling MC, what's wrong? Why're you upset?"

His concern was enough to break you. You flew into his embrace and began to pour your worries out. "Asmo, I'm...I'm afraid. Being here, being surrounded by magic and people who don't age, I forgot that I'm just a human. I...I'm going to get older and older while you all stay young. I'm going to die one day."

You spilled your heart to him and he merely held you close, rubbing small circles on your back and rocking you in his arms. "I find your mortality to be beautiful, MC. It's something I can't possibly begin to understand. You have a purpose in your life, no matter how short it is compared to mine. You humans do so much with the time you're given and make such an impact on those around you. Your memory lives on for years."

"But one day I'm going to die and...and I'll have to leave you..." Your sobs broke his heart. He knew you didn't want to leave him or his brothers. You were happy there in the Devildom. But it had to hurt knowing that you were the only one who would grow old and die.

"And your memory will live with me for the rest of my days. None of us would ever be able to forget you or how you touched our lives. You brought us back together as a family. You gave me more than I can even say. But," he said, "if you really want to look into extending your lifespan then I think that's something we can do together."

Truth be told, Asmo's suggestion was partly selfish in intent. He was trying so hard to provide you with comfort and kind words. Help ease your worry about your mortality. But he did not want to think about losing you. He would love nothing more than for you to be with him for years to come, centuries even. Losing you would break him. You, the one he loved more than he loved himself. The one who touched his very heart and reminded him what it's like to love and be truly loved by another person.

"Now, how about we stop this talk for right now. It's upsetting you and all this stress is bad for your skin! Let's get you one of my robes and then into the bubble bath we go, my darling!"

You knew he was only trying to help ease your worries. He wasn't good with tears. But for now, you could say you were content. Your fears were heard and you would work through them together, hand in hand.

[thebusylilbee]

top 6 cheeses that I'd eat even if I was lactose intolerant :

- Raw Milk Camembert : as good as it smells bad (so very very good)

- Parmigiano Reggiano : almost perfect but unfortunately you can't just eat it with bread smh, I love drowning all my meals in it tho

- Raclette : I've definitely risked injuring my stomach for this one, it's impossible to stop eating it

- Comté with 14 months of ripening and above : expensive but GOOD GOD

- Mont d'or: that's a whole meal right there, just put it in the oven and then eat until you pass out

- Cancoillotte : I gotta like.. actively stop myself from eating it too often bc it unfortunately can't give me all the nutrients the human body needs

[somelonelywordmonger]

A group for asexual humor I am in on Facebook had a person post some comments where they had to explain asexuality to those who don’t understand it...

One of the commenters went on about pheromones and the need to reproduce to make stronger humans. He also misspelled “sex” twice which cracked me up. But I basically said, [”six” “set” smh but yes and no, I don’t have those pheromones when I look at the peak male in a group. No drive either. The lack of ability to understand, accept, or listen is always astounding.] Another ace replied, [Wait... Does that mean my asexuality is due to my poor sense of smell? (Joking)]  And that cracked me up. New theory is that asexuals just can’t smell the pheromones in the air. I replied with a gif of course, [Grace from Netflix’s “Grace and Frankie” is saying, “The smell alone could kill you”] Just figured some of my fellow aces would enjoy our banter.

[morbidly-malicious-muffins]

Hello! I hope im not bothering you How are you doing? I absolutely adore lester because he's just so cute! May I get some fluff with him and a female S/O who likes to collect animal bones, is a child in heart and generally doesn't mind getting dirty? Thank you so much!!!💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

Heyyy! No of course you're not bothering me, kind human! 💓 Here is your request! Im gonna make this an x reader bc 😗😗

And yes I love Lester too 🥺 He's a smol dirty bean who deserves to be cherished and taken good care of 😭

Lester Sinclair x Fem!Reader

(lets all appreciate Lester posing like the supermodel he is.)

(he's so much more photogenic than I'll ever be *heart eyes*)

You guys first met at Lester's roadkill pit.

He saw you waist-deep in the bloody ditch, digging through the swamp of animal carcass, fishing out the dead animals you liked while humming a country tune.

You looked to his direction in alarm when you heard his truck pull up, and then splat into the pit.

Oh yeah did I mention that Lester was so distracted by the sight of a pretty girl in his roadkill pit, he sunk a wheel into the ditch when parking. (boy still can't park for shit smh)

You heard a distant "ah bastard." as he came out of his truck, anxiously walking around his vehicle and assesing the situation.

Tucking the carcasses you collected into your bag of goodies, you called out to him.

"Ya need some help there?"

Long story short, you end up helping him push his truck up the slope, and in repayment, he offers you a ride back to where you live, which you gladly accept.

You marveled at the decor in his truck, asking him about every piece. Lester wasn't used to someone acting so positively toward the interior design of his beloved truck, but he really appreciates it. He answers all your questions, and you end up getting along really well.

You talked about your shared interest of collecting bones and natural exploration, hence your appearance at his roadkill pit, and cracking the dumbest jokes and giggling like little kids over them in the process.

You were like, in love upon first meeting. Its practically a soulmate AU but irl.

Lester asked you out on a date then and there, despite his nerves. When you said yes, he knew you were the one. Just like that.

Bo would poke fun of him for being so invigorated by his "teensy weensy datesy", while Vincent is happy for him.

*cue fond pat on the back from Vinny*

The date was just gonna be a nice walk in the woods and then dinner, but you tripped and slipped in a puddle, and Lester gasps and starts laughing after he sees that you're fine.

You gave Lester's shirt a firm tug, making him face plant into the mud puddle as well.

It then was you turn to laugh your head off, snorting and screeching. Lester thought it was the cutest thing ever.

*Lester dreamily looking at you, as if in a trance, until--*

SPLAT!

You just! Threw mud in his face!

*Sudden bark of laughter from you*

Oh it is so on.

Shortly after, a full-on mud fight broke out between you two.

And boy, he does not go easy. Neither of you did.

That, of course, ended with you both covered in mud head to toe, running back to Lester's hut in a hurry because it started raining heaviliy.

You arrived at Lester's house, a giggling mess drenched in mud, water and sweat, trodding dirt and leaves all over the hut.

General HCs:

You share and trade cool bones you find.

Nerding over different types of animal skull is a must. Argue over which type of badger it is.

"Its obviously a juvenile!"

"No Lester! Its another species, look at that spot next to the cranium--"

Eating cake for breakfast because you both want to.

Cuddling in bed because he's a cuddlebug.

Rough housing. Playfully wrestling, shoving, tripping.

Being smelly together and being given a disapproving eye by Mister Vincent-Germophobe-Sinclair.

Smelling each other and telling the other to shower, faking a gag. (Hypocrites smh)

Collecting roadkill together and fishing for cool bones in the process.

"LESTER LESTER OHMYGOD YOU HAVE TO COME HERE NOW AND SEE THIS!"

*Amazed and excited squawking from both of you*

"HOLY-- ITS A COYOTE! LOOK AT THE VERTIBRAE MAKE SURE--"

"LOOK AT THEM HUGE CANINES THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER--"

"AHAHAAAA HAHAHAH"

You probably end up getting married without the actual documents. Its fineeee it counts.

Here it is! Sorry it took soooo long. I've been real busy lately :/

I had a lot of fun writing this, this idea is so adorable😭 thanks for the request ❤️

Y'all know how it goes, have a great week for me will ya? ;)

---Zali 🖤

[macchiatooru]

ᴬⁿ ᵃˡˡ⁻ⁿⁱᵍʰᵗᵉʳ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵗʰᵉ ³ʳᵈ ᵍʸᵐ ˢqᵘᵃᵈ?

With Kenma? And Lev and Hinata? Absolute College AU vibes? Despite my doubts about the productivity, I definitely need this. It’s around 1AM as I type, and I literally have three papers to finish, with one due tomorrow. HAHAHAHAHA. (I wrote this note last night, so it’s not entirely applicable now, but well- I have to submit the second tomorrow and the third the following day... I hope HAHAHA)

Note: If you’re also up at such ungodly hours and want to add to this when you’re stuck with a paper too, or a lesson, or something, go ahead! If you want to modify something, don’t hesitate to say it!

The situation, for example, is that you’re writing a paper, and you don’t know how to continue it anymore. Luckily, you have enough options to kill the time until your brain is working properly again. The apartment―whoever owns it, maybe you guys were sharing or had connecting ones or were neighbors or whatnot―would literally look like, I don’t know, a convention? It’s like there are different stalls with different activities. Take your pick!

Tsukishima’s Corner:

I can imagine that he has this set-up in the far end of the living room where he has a table against the wall and a chair with a blanket on it

And he always has a drink with him, whether it’s a soda or an Iced Americano. (that just gave me Yoongi vibes ahhh my heart)

Of course, he has his headphones on. Not surprising.

He’s pretty calm when he does his schoolwork, and his focus is just wow

So, don’t expect him to pay attention to you that much. Again, not surprising.

If you have an actual question though, I think you can ask him!

He’ll help you out, but be wary of the sass and teasing.

It’s highly possible for him to annoy the shit out of you before you guys solve the problem, btw.

If you have chips with you, he’ll take some without asking permission smh but he’s so idufhsdbkfhda can you really say no?

You can get back at him by repetitively calling him “Tsukki”.

“Cut it out.”

“No can do, Tsu~ Kki!”

Emphasize! the! syllables! because he probably lowkey thinks it’s kinda cute

Unless he doesn’t and he throws the blanket at your face to shut you up

Don’t annoy him when he’s in a bad mood, okay?

He’ll really appreciate it if you give him space on those days

But he’ll also appreciate it so so so much if you’re the one who hands him his usual drink.

Despite being the person who could really rile you up the most

He’s actually nice... in his own way!

Lev and Hinata’s “Quiet” Pile of Pillows:

What am I even saying?

There’s nothing quiet about that part of the living room.

Lev and Hinata like studying in their “own kind of comfort”

And that is with their “study” blankets―they have separate ones for sleeping―on the floor and their pillows on top.

They study with the TV on

A series on Netflix is playing the entire time.

Nobody minds, really, because for some reason, most of you can study with some noise in the background. Those who can’t, however, just listen to music on their own.

They have hot or iced chocolate―depends on their mood―made either by you, Akaashi, or Kuroo.

You never asked Bokuto to do it again. Never again.

One time, he made the mistake of giving the “kids” coffee, and well, was that some night.

Lev and Hinata have common classes, so they work on some of their assignments together.

Expect them to be very excited when they get something right and very frustrated when they can’t understand what they’re doing.

Probably just a spot for you to take a quick break, maybe lie your head down on Lev’s favorite pillow to annoy him.

It’s not because he doesn’t want to share, but because you just took it right out of his lap.

They’ll be really happy kiddos if you join them! Please give these babies the attention they need.

Also, it helps to give them snacks to shut them up.

Bokuto’s Spot on the Couch:

That became his permanent spot after Akaashi sent him there because of that one time that big baby reaaally got on his nerves.

He has a pillow supporting his back as he leans against an armrest, legs stretched out in front of him and laptop on his, well, lap. HAHAHA sorry

He also likes working with the TV on, so it was a suitable place for him.

Bokuto’s drink would either be a can of soda or a protein shake.

Keep your phone on standby.

You have to take a pic of the pouty face he makes when he doesn’t get something.

He’s so cute he can have my heart-

“Akaashiiiii~ Why won’t you help me out?”

Akaashi would remind him that not only was he a year higher, but he also had a different major.

*cue Bo’s emo mode with matching droopy hair fml he’s literally so cute*

He gets distracted easily because he never puts his phone on silent

Probably chats with Konoha idk

Or gets carried away watching game highlights.

He already startled all of you a few times.

“OOOOOOOOOOOH. DAAAAAAAAAAAMN. THAT WAS SO GOOD.”

“Bokuto-san-”

If you choose to go to him, he can’t really help you with the paper you’re writing.

However, he gives THE BESTEST HUGS!

I think a lot of us agree that he’s a walking heater, so getting a hug from that beefy boi? Especially when it’s cold?

H E A V E N

Or that’s just me being biased, but is it really just me?

I love him.

Kuroo’s Kitchen Kounter:

Now, I’m definitely sure I’m being biased because- I mean- JUST-

One of the kitchen counters faces the common living area where everyone is spread out.

Imagine walking from wherever you were previously just staring at your laptop with that constant 132 words plastered on the corner of the screen and you’re well-aware that it has to be 2000 by tomorrow

And seeing business-related major Kuroo, sitting on a stool, immersed in his work, Excel sheets and documents being the only inhabitants of his laptop screen?

I’m literally giving myself away I-

He has glasses on and he’s tapping the end of his pen on his chin and at this point I’m hyperventilating

THE FACE HE MAKES WHEN HE CONCENTRATES

From time to time, he would swivel the stool around, take a sip of the black iced coffee he always brews at night, and eat whatever snack was available (e.g. chips, popcorn, sandwiches, instant noodles, sometimes asks Bokuto to make another protein shake, etc.)

He doesn’t really listen to music and can easily drown out the noise on his own because he concentrates so much.

You can always count on him to entertain you

Because despite the amount of focus he puts into his homework and problem sets, he also wants any excuse to tear his eyes of his screen.

He’s good at papers, so he can help you with that in the best way he can

Also asks if you would like to take a break and grab a snack with him

And can be a flirt if he’s in the mood, but when he’s tired, he has a soft and sleepy smile (except he’s not really sleepy because of the coffee, he’s just not putting that much effort)

Although he will annoy and provoke you while the two of you are on break

He’s the best person to cry to when you’re really stressed out.

I want him.

Akaashi’s Atelier:

He literally owns the dining table, his work neatly spread out.

I can almost imagine him studying architecture

But nah I guess he just really likes practicing how to capture anything and everything he can observe

And by capturing, I really mean that there’s a pile of photos there somewhere.

Afterwards, he draws them, paying attention to every detail.

He finishes schoolwork before any of you do.

His concentration surpasses that of Kuroo’s, no joke.

You can’t disturb him when he’s working on his academic requirements, so come back later when he’s sketching the hours away.

If you want to do your paper beside him though? Go.

His concentration is not only top tier but also contagious.

He’ll share the dining table, but only to you and, occasionally, Kuroo.

Bokuto? Only if he’s super emo.

Akaashi’s really nice!

He’ll initiate a conversation with you if you’re taking a break and he’s just on his sketchbook or experimenting with graphic design or something.

If you want to see a passionate but shy Akaashi, ask him what he’s working on.

I just know his eyes will literally light up.

He might be drinking tea, mint tea?

Water most of the time, but he always smells like mint and fresh laundry ahhh be still, my heart

Go to him if you really want to be productive and not get distracted by anything else because his eyes and the way he’s so into what he’s doing might actually be what distracts you

He is the epitome of grace under pressure, such a beautiful human being ha ha ha I wish

Kenma’s Den:

Well, what did you really expect?

Nah, kidding.

Kenma’s the only one in his room because he’s probably streaming.

His audience is mostly up at night, so yeah.

He definitely has ramen, chips, and soda

Which he’s willing to share with you as long as you don’t mess his game up don’t try I swear

Tbh, it’s actually really comforting to stay in his room especially when you’re really stressed out.

You can rest your eyes and take a quick nap.

He knows that he should wake you up after fifteen minutes, so don’t worry about sleeping through the night without finishing your paper.

He’s so sweet please

It’s so comforting to hear his fingers tapping away, a literal lullaby that gets you every time.

At some point, some people probably caught you slipping under his duvet IT WAS YOUR FIRST LOWKEY SCANDAL HAHAHAHAHA

Which lasted for just an hour because Kenma’s viewers knew him enough to know what his facial expressions meant

He definitely can’t help you with your paper. Such a busy boi.

But if he’s in the lobby that’s what you call it, right? of whatever game he’s playing, he’s willing to listen to your rants.

A quiet listener, but you know that he genuinely cares about you.

Massage his shoulders if you can! He likes that.

───── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☪ .* :☆ﾟ. ─────

background photo by NeONBRAND on unsplash

[appavevo]

ok ...........ok.........so like i said before i could never consider eurus canon and that is true, for many reasons. like 1. its completely out of nowhere like even though they “hinted” at it in hlv with that line this is still......completely out there. 2. its dumb lol ? 3. it doesn’t make sense with the rest of the shows plot? like at all. maybe this is the same as 1 but whatever. 4 IT DOES A HUGE DISSERVICE TO SHERLOCKS CHARACTER??? i mean his whole thing in tab was “i made me” and now its this? also like, one of the best things about the show is the relationship between sherlock and john, whether platonic or romantic, its the TWO OF THEM, the dynamic, which is the reason its so fuckin popular (i guess that might be subjective) but like, theres that post talking about how sherlock is more ordinary than he seems and john is more extraordinary than he seems and that’s !!!!! that’s it!!!!! i love seeing john, who everyone things is regular and bumbling and all that be aggressive and dangerous and smart and all that. and i love seeing sherlock, the person everyone things is mysterious or unfeeling or robotic or whatever, and seeing that he has a sweet tooth, or likes the smell of lilac, or that his parents are actually kind of normal. like i think its pretty common with characters like that, characters that hide a lot of their “human” side??? characters that are usually known for being severe and moody and very detached, characters like hotch from criminal minds and (i can’t think of another example rn but i know there are many). its endearing when characters like that show some kind of ordinary/human side and this whole thing with eurus??? 

it just felt like something i wouuld think of as a kid??? like ok jeez not to be embarrassing but when i was like ~12 i was SUPER into the nanny, and like part of the nanny is fran being herself and some people thinking shes annoying or dumb, and that made me mad bc she was great so i would sometimes come up with these scenarios where she had this crazy dark past, or something nuts that she went through and people would find out and by like :0 wow now we need to take her seriously, like shit like that was ALL OVER my brain when i was a kid and this feels like that, shitty plot and all lol.

like having this crazy secret sister doesn’t make sherlock more interesting, it makes him less so, and that’s like.........infuriating

ALSO

MORE RANTING

okay so like in s3, his parents are shown to be normal but also like......not terrible? like obviously sherlock is like “my mom doesn’t understand me” a few times, but they love and him understand who he is and what he does but want him to be safe, and like......idk its really weird to think of them being in this kind of crazy secret in which their 6 year old or whatever needs to be locked away. and them telling mycroft that he should have done better when he literally would have been a child himself when all this started :/ like come on . they really did make mycroft a baffoon in s4 i know i’ve said it before but all the redeeming qualities theyve givin him over the last 3 seasons just vanished bc he said sherlock doesn’t have emotion and he fucked lady smallwood. like where was the mycroft that was like “take care of him” to john on the plane? i guess he died or somthing smh..

don’t get me STARTED on mary

and don’t get me STARTED on the whole redbeard nonsense. the whole redbeard being a kid thing is  more like trying to make sherlocks back story as CRAZY AS POSSIBLE, and that’s just like..............BAD WRITING? IDK CALL ME DUMB TELL ME I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT I’M TIRED OF BEING NUANCED. JESUS CHRIST. 

and like, the first 3 seasons weren’t PERFECT, there were things in there that were a little iffy plot wise but like......it didn’t matter bc the bigger picture waas good but now its like just shoot me in the head idc