#i ALSO REALLY need to sleep. it's past 1am and i have to work at 08:30am

[valentinoappreciator]

i need valentino to have me be the star in an extremely violent snuff film

[savventeen]

you say the stupidest (sweetest) things

pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader rating: 16+ (for swearing) wc: 4.5k prompt: seungkwan + "things you said at 1am" summary: you say stupid shit on the best of days, so when seungkwan comes over when you're having a bad bout of insomnia, the last thing he expects to hear from you is an accidental love confession warnings: insomnia, mental health issues, dissociation mention tags: fluff, friends to lovers, first kiss, reader is a little unhinged but who isn't tbh, they're also highkey allergic to genuine expressions of love/affection but they're working on it, banter, stimming, wrestling like children to try and work through emotions, reader is some flavor of lgbt+ (they make an "i've never done anything straight in my life" joke), reader's pov is dramatic bc they're dramatic oops a/n: this is for @dokyeomin as a part of my emergency commissions (check out the post here) and this was only supposed to be 1k but it 100% got away from me... i hope you still enjoy the fluff and all of the attached nonsense <3

From: Y/n 🔪 [11:47pm]

yo kwannie if i impulsively decide to go to the 24h convenience store how harshly do u think they'll jusdge me for buying every flavor of gummy candy available *judge i wanna see if i can melt them down into one Ultimate Gummy u know for Science

Seungkwan pauses brushing his teeth and stares down at your messages.

To be fair, it's probably not the strangest thing you've ever texted him. He's known you since your second year of college, after all, so he has about half a decade of experience with all of your various y/n-isms under his belt now.

Which is how he knows to trust his gut when it tells him that this probably isn't your usual brand of nonsense.

He spits the toothpaste into the sink and dials your number. You answer on the second ring.

“Before you say anything,” you start, “I was only half-serious about the gummies thing. Like, it's a fun idea, you know? In theory. But in actuality? I do not want to deal with the mess that it would create. Or the smells. Well, the smells might actually be pretty good depending on—“

“Uh-huh,” he interrupts dryly. “Y/n, when's the last time you slept?”

The beat of silence that follows is enough to confirm his suspicions, and the hesitant “Um” that follows is just the icing on the cake, really.

He sighs. “The fact that you have to think about it says enough.”

“I don’t need to think about it,” you argue petulantly. “I just… don’t wanna tell you.”

“Y/n...” he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Look, I know, I'm sorry.” And you do sound a little bit sorry, at least. “I'm just. Having an episode. Don't worry about it.”

His shoulders droop as the words sink in. “Episodes” are what you've taken to calling your intermittent bouts of serious insomnia.

Generally speaking, you sleep about as well as the average twenty-something with a caffeine addiction. But every few months or so, it's like your brain completely forgets how to shut off and you end up staying awake for 40+ hours straight.

“Well,” he says, putting his toothbrush away and going back to his bedroom. “You know that ship has sailed, right? You know I'm gonna worry about it.”

Your deep sigh crackles over the line. “Yeah, I know.”

“So. Where're we at this time?”

He mentally braces himself. The two of you have done this enough times now that he knows that you know there's no point in trying to lie or beat around the bush.

“Uhhhhhhh, I'll be hitting the 46-hour mark in about 20 minutes.”

“Aish.”

The fact that you can say that so casually makes his heart hurt. He knows that whenever he doesn't get enough sleep, he makes sure everyone knows it and thus babies him accordingly. But you've always been so intent on hiding anything and everything you struggle with. It's taken years for him to bully himself past the walls you keep hidden behind shit-eating grins and an over-willingness to help.

“Okay,” he says, moving to the dresser to grab an extra set of clothes. “I'll be over in an hour.”

“Wait. What?”

“You heard me.” He tosses the clothes onto his bed before going to grab one of his duffle bags, firmly asserting, “You've got an hour to mentally prepare yourself for my arrival.”

“Honey, you've got a big storm comin',” you quote at him without hesitating.

“You sure do,” he assures with a snort. “Better get ready to feel the wrath of my friendship.”

“Why do you have to love so aggressively?”

He rolls his eyes while he throws his clothes into the duffle bag with one hand. “Because it's the only way you'll accept it, idiot.”

“No, it isn't.”

Your pout is so audible through the phone that Seungkwan has to stop and glance at the screen in disbelief.

“Y/n. Y/n L/n. Do not stand there and lie to my face like that.”

“I'm not lying!”

“Not—” He gesticulates wildly with one hand like he's going Can you believe this shit? to an invisible TV audience. “Okay, tell me this: what did you do the last time I sincerely monologued at you about how much you mean to me as a friend, hmm? No bits, no bullshit, just me telling you how much I love you and how amazing you are.”

A beat. “I'll hang up on you, Kwannie, don't test me.”

He barely resists the urge to shove his face into the bedspread and scream. “You're literally proving my point right now!”

“Kwannieeee,” you whine, because you know he's right.

“Also, because I'm never letting you live it down, I will remind you exactly what you did."

You say his name again, but it's muffled, and he assumes it's because you're hiding your face in shame.

“I gave you a sincere, heartfelt speech about how much your friendship has changed my life for the better and made me become a better person—” he ignores your wordless pterodactyl screech, “—and how do you respond? By staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights, slowly raising your arms to give me double finger guns, winking, and then slowly backing out of the room like an awkward mannequin!”

“...”

“Well?” He puts his free hand on his hip. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“… I’ve changed a lot since then.”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes before moving to continue packing his overnight bag. “It was literally three months ago.”

“Yeah, and? Doesn't change the fact that I've changed,” you assert.

“Into even more of a nuisance? Yes, you're absolutely right.” He smiles when he hears you scoff playfully.

“Listen here, Boo Seungkwan. You know that well-rested Y/n is ready to throw down with you at a moment's notice. What do you think sleep-deprived, zero-impulse-control Y/n is going to do the second you get to their front door?”

“Stop referring to themself in the third person, hopefully,” he mutters, finally zipping up his bag and heading to the door. “And then after that, they're going to let me bully them into resting.”

“Hmm. The council has heard your proposal, briefly pondered it, and deemed it “unnecessary” on the basis of: they're a bad bitch that can't be stopped by neither time nor physics nor any god of your choosing.”

Seungkwan scoffs as he puts the call on speaker and sits to put on his sneakers. “Well, “the council” can go fuck right off.”

“What if the council would like to fuck right on?”

Pausing in the middle of tying his laces, he blinks down at his phone. “I'm— what?”

“Okay, real talk, what do you think it would mean in this case? Like, would this be like a 'hop on' versus 'hop off' situation? Or more like an 'I'm down for this' versus 'I'm up for this' kinda situation? Because it would have very different outcomes depending.”

Seungkwan decides that this is a debate better left for another time. “I think it means that I'm going to be at your house soon and that if you're not in your pajamas with hot Sleepy Time tea and the series Planet Earth ready to go, there will be consequences.”

“Booooooo, you whore.”

He finishes tying his laces and jabs his finger at the phone. “Consequences, Y/n.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“See you soon, love you, bye.” He hangs up before you can get another word in, but doesn't move from his seated position in the entryway.

Slowly, he takes a deep breath in and lets it out, taking a moment to lean back on his hands while he stares at the back of his front door. Specifically, at the large collage of sticky notes and pictures and doodles that have taken up residence there.

A few of the notes are ones he's gotten from other members of your shared friend group over the years (the one from Chan that reads "if u eat my rice i'll eat ur kneecaps xoxo" hangs proudly in the center, right next to a picture of him sleeping that Seungkwan managed to capture from an extremely unflattering angle). But most of them are from you.

Dumb puns, meme references, bullshit animal facts you made up just to get him to laugh… almost all of them are stupid in that extremely charming way that only you somehow manage to pull off.

But the one he's staring at now is almost completely hidden by other notes and pictures that have been added to the collage. It's a pale blue, the ink starting to fade a bit with time — the first note you ever gave him, back when you two were just people who happened to sit next to each other in an astronomy class.

Even though most of it is hidden, he doesn't need to be able to see all the tiny words you crammed into the small space to already know exactly what it says.

how do u make a space party? u planet :P u looked sad today, hope this makes u feel a little better also if this is 2 forward feel free 2 pretend i don't exist. or punt me in2 the sun idk u'd be doing me a favor tbh

He'd almost skipped class that day because of how bad he'd been feeling, but he'd decided to try and push through. And before that day, neither of you had interacted with more than a polite greeting and the occasional question about the homework.

But then you'd passed him that note, and he'd passed one back that said “that's dumb. but thank you” with a smiley face, and you'd passed another one back that said “do u think lizard people have ever been to space?” and the rest, they say, is history.

Seungkwan shakes his head with a sigh before standing up and grabbing his bag and his keys, striding determinedly out the door. He's got a best friend to take care of.

Seungkwan should be at your place soon, and you're not quite sure what to do in the meantime.

You have your laptop hooked up to the monitor in the living room with Planet Earth queued up, you have the kettle filled with water and ready to go on the stove, and you have mugs and teabags ready on the counter next to it.

The Required Tasks™️ have been completed as much as possible without the arrival of your best friend, and now all that's left to do is wait.

Which, normally, you're not the worst at. You're excellent at entertaining yourself, actually, mostly because there's always something to think about. Whether it be about cute dogs that you've seen over the past week (I wonder if the pomeranian down the street will let me pet him next time), potential plot twists for the new fantasy drama you're a little bit obsessed with (what if Gregothy was cursed the whole time???), or generic ponderings of the human existence as a whole (do souls have the metaphysical equivalent of a fingerprint?), you're pretty much always thinking about something.

Which is totally fine and dandy and cool or whatever when you have the ability to, you know, shut it off. For example, when you need to do something simple and necessary like, oh I don't know, go the fuck to sleep.

You also hate when that manic mental energy somehow translates into kinetic energy as well. It makes you feel like a hamster in a cage, watching yourself running and running and running on that stupid wheel until you exhaust yourself.

Tonight's metaphorical wheel: stimming like wild in the kitchen. Flapping, rocking, (gently) slapping, making weird and fun mouth sounds, the whole shebang.

And again, normally stimming is fun. Stimming is great. But stimming because you feel like if you don't stop moving you're going to literally vibrate out of your skin is, to put it lightly, Not It.

It takes you about ten minutes to work out all of the energy until you no longer feel like your blood was replaced with pop rocks.

With a groan, you lower yourself to the kitchen floor and lay down face first. Because despite how exhausted you feel in every possible way, there's still something like an itch in your conscious, a fucking pea underneath the miles of mattresses that refuse to let you just. Fucking. Sleep.

Your pity party must've lasted longer than you realized (or, more likely, you dissociated for a hot second there) because suddenly someone's knocking at your door at the same time you get a text from Seungkwan.

And you know it's a text from Seungkwan specifically because you got Vernon to help you change your notification settings so that whenever Seungkwan texts you, the "i love you.. bitch" sound clip plays instead of a normal text tone.

For a fraction of a second, you contemplate slowly inching your way to the door like an uncoordinated caterpillar, but you swat the thought aside like you’re swatting a gnat and you awkwardly roll to your feet and make your way to your front door.

Without hesitating, you unlock the door, swinging it open with a flourish and sticking a finger right in Seungkwan's face before he can utter a single syllable, forcing him to cross his eyes.

You open your mouth wide like you're going to say something, pause for a moment, then tap your pointed finger to his nose with a quiet "boop."

He blinks, expression turning deadpan, and sighs. "I should have expected this, honestly."

“Yep!”

You let him into your apartment, and he makes himself right at home, mildly bitching at you as he goes to get the tea ready, and something within you shifts.

The inside of your head is still a bit of a dumpster fire, unfortunately, but inside your chest... something clicks into place that you're not sure that you're ready to name. Whatever it is, though, it's soft and warm and kinda feels like your heart is being hugged.

Smiling to yourself, you follow him into the kitchen.

💤 💤 💤 💤 💤

It was pretty much straight to “business” after that, and it only takes Seungkwan one cup of tea and two episodes listening to David Attenborough's dulcet narrations for him to knock right out, leaning heavily against your shoulder on the couch.

Which means it's now the perfect time to sit there and Admire Your Bro™️.

It's rare to see him so still, you think. He's an active guy, in pretty much every sense of the word, and you always feel a little honored when you get to be witness to his quiet, vulnerable moments like this one.

He looks so serene, face smoothed out and painted in soft twirling shades of blue from the screen of the monitor, though you can't see too much of it from this angle. Mostly you just see his cheeks and stupidly adorable button nose.

And you've seen the same thing a million times before — in all kinds of states and expressions — and despite how much you've tried to ignore it, each and every time you've caught yourself noticing just how cute Seungkwan is, it's caused that thing in your heart to scrunch up, full of the L-word feeling that you've kept unnamed for what feels like forever now.

Except, maybe that thing in your heart is tired of scrunching up. Maybe it's decided that it's tired of forever.

Maybe that thing has finally decided to burrow itself out of the walls you've built up because you find yourself finally allowing yourself to think, Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.

You don't realize that Seungkwan has completely stilled against you, but you certainly notice when he suddenly throws himself forward so he can turn around and stare at you incredulously. Only he overshoots a little bit and ends up falling off the couch with a squawk and a dramatic flail.

"Oh my god, Kwannie are you okay?!"

He stares at you from where he fell, wide-eyed like you've grown a second head or like the time you'd tried to convince him that birds weren't real and actually just a government conspiracy.

"Am— am I okay? No??"

Now it's your turn to move off of the couch, coming down to his level to see if maybe he hurt himself when he fell. "Fuck, okay, did you hit something? Do you need an icepack?"

Seungkwan being Not Okay is maybe one of the worst things that could ever happen in the entire universe and you're trying not to panic as you reach out to check for injuries.

"No, no, stop—" he bats away at your hands and you stop in your motions, now kneeling in front of him. "I'm not hurt!"

Your brain does the cartoonish screech thing as it comes to a halt, and you furrow your brows. "But.. you just said you're not okay?"

"I'm not!" His eyes are still wide in shock, but he also looks confused and maybe a little bit like he's about to cry?

Oh no. If he cries and it's somehow your fault (because it has to somehow be your fault) you think the world might actually end.

"Okay, uh. I am— confused,” you start, sure you must look as lost as you feel. “But, um, what can I do to help?"

He swallows, and a part of you realizes that he's looking at you with an expression you've never seen before. "Did you mean it?"

Knowing that it's significant but not yet knowing why, you maintain eye contact. "Mean what?"

"What you just said."

You blink. "...that I'm confused?"

He shakes his head. "No, before that."

You have a hard time remembering what you just said when you're not sleep-deprived and worried you've just somehow accidentally caused irreparable emotional damage to your best friend. "Uh... when I asked if you were okay?"

"No, fuck," and it's a shock for some reason, hearing him cuss right now. You hear him say much worse things all the time, but you think it might be the way he said it — with a kind of desperate vulnerability that you're not sure you've ever heard from him before.

That thing in your chest twinges and you think maybe you're the one who's gonna start crying.

He says your name like a plea, and then he's on his knees right in front of where you're kneeling on the floor, reaching forward to cup your face in his palms. "You said— Y/n, you said "holy shit I think I'm in love with you.””

Oh.

You're pretty sure your heart falls right out of your ass and bounces across the rug, judging from the way it comes to a dead stop. You blink at him. Full of new and sinking kind of dread, you whisper, "...I said that out loud?"

He laughs, but it's tinged with incredulity and sounds a little too close to a sob for comfort. "Yes! You did!"

And wait, no, your heart is still stuck in your chest, because you can feel it start pounding against your ribcage in double, triple, quadruple time. He must see the fear in your expression, because suddenly his eyes are narrowed in a determined scowl and he growls, "Oh no you don't."

Then you find yourself going down with a yelp as Seungkwan octopuses himself around you, trapping you within the confines of his surprisingly strong arms and legs as he basically tackles you to the floor.

You try and wiggle away even as you know it's useless, and he grits, "Y/n dammit, answer my question."

"Why were you even awake?” You deflect, getting an arm free and trying to give him a wedgie. “You were supposed to be asleep!"

"I was supposed to be asleep?!” He screeches, easily evading your reach and poking your ribs to get you to reflexively pull back your arm. “You're the one who hasn't slept in literal days! And stop avoiding my question!"

"No!" He has you trapped once again, and you resort to licking his arm.

"Oh my god!"

He muffles his scream into your shoulder, long and frustrated, and then he just... goes limp. He loosens his hold and just lets his full body weight kinda crush the parts of you he's ended up lying on and just... lays there.

This is your chance, you know — to wiggle free and escape and run away from your feelings just like you always have.

But, for some reason, you don't — that scrunched-up thing in your chest holds you back. You stay there, lying beneath Seungkwan on the floor of your living room at one-something in the morning, and the two of you just breathe.

"It's okay, you know," he murmurs after a moment, so quiet you barely hear him over David Attenborough still narrating softly in the background. "If you didn't mean it. It's okay."

Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.

And you realize how easy it would be to play it off, to blame it on the sleep deprivation, the way you blurted it out like that — to say (to lie) you meant it completely platonically, like the way you propose to Mingyu at least once a month when he cooks you all dinner.

And you also realize, quite shockingly, that despite how a part of you still desperately wants to run away, the larger part of you wants to stay. Doesn't want to run. Doesn't want to lie anymore.

You swallow heavily, briefly close your eyes, and take in a deep breath. "And if I did? Mean it?"

This time, you do notice when Seungkwan goes still. Slowly, he lifts his head so he can look you in the eyes.

When he doesn't say anything, just continues to look at you with an unreadable expression, you try to continue.

"Would you— would that— would it be okay? If I meant it? When I— when I said that I'm in love with you? Is— because um, like you said, it's okay if it's not, and uh—"

Your nervous rambling comes to a stop when he once again cups your face, but it's gentler than before, closer to a caress. The whole time you'd been talking he'd been slowly sitting up, and now he's on his knees next to where you're still lying down on the floor, looking down at you like all the hope in the world is somewhere to be found in your expression.

"Y/n." he says your name like it's something precious, and you feel the absurd urge to burst into tears. "It would be very okay." His thumbs make gentle arcs across your cheeks. "And just to be clear: you mean it in a non-platonic sense, right?” He chews on his lip. “Hopefully, in a very much romantic sense?"

Staring at him staring at you, eyes bright with hope and a little bit of wonder... you can only imagine you must be looking at him the same way. Your chest feels like it's full of helium but also like something warm and gooey is sloshing around in there. And all that hope and wonder and holy shit is this actually happening? is causing your tongue to stick to the roof of your mouth, and all you're able to get past your lips is a breathless, "Hopefully?"

"Oh my god," he groans in frustration, but it's light and airy and makes you think of amusement park rides and fairy lights and how you want to annoy the shit out of this man for the rest of his life, if he'll let you. He's shaking his head, smiling, beaming, and he asks, "Why can you never give me any kind of a straight answer, huh?"

"Because it's my life's purpose to be the bane of your existence until the day we die," you say, reaching up to hold his face too. "Also because I've never done anything straight ever in my life."

And then your body is moving before your brain can think it though, dragging him down until you can press your lips to his and finally, finally know what it's like to kiss Boo Seungkwan.

He makes a little noise of surprise, one that you can feel buzz against your lips before he melts into you. And oh, any thoughts you might have had are forcefully ejected from your brain because all you can focus on are his lips pressed to yours, the way they move slowly, gently, turning this chaste kiss into the most scorching experience of your life. His nose bumps against yours and the heat of his warm breath sends tingles throughout your body, and his hands, fuck, his hands are still holding you gently but also with a firmness that feels like he doesn't want to let you go.

And then he's pulling away, and you whine at him because this may be the cruelest thing he's ever done to you ever in your entire life. "Noooooo, why'd you stop?"

"Because, as much as I'd love to continue to make out with you on your floor while an old British man narrates about life on the Serengeti—” he mercifully ignores the way you choke on your spit at the way he talks about making out with you so nonchalantly "—it's past someone's bedtime."

Your mouth drops open in offended shock. Was he actually going to put you to bed like a child? Like you both hadn't just declared your romantic love for each other? "Are you fucking serious?"

He just stands up and crosses his arms, looking down at you with a single raised eyebrow. You take the part of you that finds it annoyingly attractive and promptly smother it, crossing your own arms from your position on the floor.

"I'm not a baby," you definitely don't pout.

"Hmmm...” And then the bastard fucking pouts at you. “But you're my baby."

You blink at him.

"Welp, that was nice while it lasted,” you grunt, rolling to your feet, “but I suddenly need to relocate to Antarctica and become a penguin herder.”

He pulls you into his arms with a laugh, and you let him, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.

“You know,” he starts after he's held you for a few moments. “This isn't how I ever imagined how us confessing to each other would go.”

You snort.

“But also,” he continues, “it feels very 'us' doesn't it?”

"Yeah,” you murmur, not bothering to lift your head from his shoulder.

“Mmm, is someone finally sleepy?” he teases, starting to waddle you both towards your bedroom. “Did all the emotions finally wear you out?”

Instead of nodding, you lightly kick him in the shin and the sappy part of your brain that is currently in charge of everything thinks that his indignant squawk is one of your most favorite sounds.

The sappy part of your brain is right, of course, and when you wake up in your bed 15 hours later and accidentally smack him in the face, the urge to run is a little bit smaller than it was before. And the way he flushes bright red after you sleepily kiss him on the cheek is an image you're going to cherish until the day you die.

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲: easy tips to form healthy habits ( based on this alessya farrugia video )

if you don't have a solid night routine, you may as well throw away your whole morning routine, because the decisions you make at night are gonna to directly affect you in the morning and how you go about your day. if you binge watch netflix 'til 1am calling it your "rest time" only for you to wake up in the morning feeling tired and frustrated, it's time for you to build a night routine and stick to it.

pro tip do not try to improve everything all at once, you're gonna fail. just try to incorporate something small in your routine to start forming healthy habits. it might take months, but one year from now it will all be worthy.

𝟭. prepare for the next day ( 📒 )

write down your to-do list for the next day. when i don't plan out my day i just end up doing nothing, because i don't even know where to start. but if you know what you have to do you don't end up procrastinating and start getting things done. also, do not overload yourself with too much things to do, you're just not going to accomplish them all, so keep it realistic.

bonus put the most important tasks on the top of your list so you're gonna accomplish them as soon as possible.

𝟮. clean you room ( 🫧 )

it really depends on when you are the most active – for example i'm a night owl and i can't even imagine cleaning my room in the morning – but yes, removing all the mess you made during the day will help you leaving it all behind and starting fresh new the next day. put your clothes away, remove books, notebooks, make-up products, trash all around and i guarantee you that you're gonna feel so much better.

𝟯. take care of your body ( 🌷 )

take a warm shower that can help you relax, do your skincare, change in your comfy clothes, basically wash away the stress and negativity of the day. last semester i would literally stay at uni for 10h straight and coming back home at 8pm after the gym, i used to take a warm shower straight after that so i could let all the negativity of the outside world slide off me.

𝟰. drink hot tea ( 🍵 )

avoid theine but treat yourself to a hot drink that helps you relax and restore your calm, also take your vitamins and give yourself those ten minutes in your personal space.

𝟱. self love and affirmations ( 💖 )

reflect on your day, write down in your diary all the things that happened, pray, meditate, do your affirmations, leave everything in the past, do not let today's disappointments, stress and frustration affect your tomorrow. the only way in which you can truly move forward is by facing the things that happened today to leave them in the past, tomorrow is a new day.

𝟲. get off your phone ( 📱 )

definitely the hardest part for me. i don't even want to explain why it's so dangerous for you to stay awake scrolling through your phone at night – blue light and whatever – so just be strong and try to get off your phone at least 1h before going to bed, use eye-protection mode after sunset and use blue glasses if you can.

bonus use only red light at night, blue light are gonna inhibit your melatonin production ( which is what makes you sleep at night ).

𝟳. go to bed on time ( 🛏️ )

do not delay your bed time in order to get more dopamine scrolling through social media or binge watching netflix. do not sacrifice your sleep in order to do more work/study ( i did it in the past and it's definitely not worthy ), prioritizing your sleep is going to reward you in the long run. trust and believe.

𝟴. 321 rule for better sleep ( 💤 )

3 hours before bed –> stop eating. it gives you enough time to digest your food so you're not going to waste energy during your sleep to digest and you're gonna wake up less tired.

2 hours before bed –> stop studying/working. you need to drag your brain out of your "fight or flight" mode in order to get deep rest at night.

1 hour before bed –> stop screen time. allow your body to produce the melatonin that it needs in order to fall asleep properly.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for planning to move out of my fiancee's place?

This one might be long so... sorry. Tried to sum it up the best I can. Hi, it's the anon moving in with the vegans. So my fiancee (20) and I (21) moved in with a pair of vegans, one of which has since moved out so now we only live with Sam (26).

Sam is polyamorous, and I thought I was too (although I now think I might be just aroace), and since moving in my partner has discovered that, unlike they previously thought when I was interested in someone a couple years prior, that they are also polyamorous, and have started dating Sam. I was totally okay with this, because I'm very poly-positive and wanted my fiancee to have a chance to discover themself and experience new things.

However, since moving in, they spend 90% of nights sleeping with Sam in their bed, and the other 10% in mine. I've been feeling really lonely about that, and expressed that, and they've responded that they've just been having a really hard time lately with their mental health, and that it's not personal. I'm trying to be supportive and understanding and patient, but I feel very isolated in this house.

Everyone in the house has chronic pain, although my fiance and I have more flare-ups than Sam does. But while there's a lot of leniency when they don't do chores, I'm still supposed to get all of my work done AND theirs, without my pain levels taken into account. This has led to me losing hours of sleep due to being expected to finish chores after getting home at 1am from my shift.

There's also the money problem: I am currently working two jobs to pay rent, and Sam makes triple what I do in salary. My fiancee only works one shift a week by choice, to pay for therapy, and thus doesn't pay rent. We are splitting rent equitably, so I'm not paying nearly as much as Sam, but still if I had the chance to cut back on hours at work to actually take care of myself (emotionally, pain-wise, actually having time to do my physio, etc) I would take it in a heartbeat. But I'm not dating Sam so I feel like there are a lot of double standards here.

I like Sam. They GM for our TTRPG home game and I have a great time. I sincerely don't want to lose those good times. But my mental health is at an all time low and I feel like a third wheel to my fiancee. I've known them for 6 years, we've known Sam for almost 1. I've started a tally of how often my fiancee sleeps in my bed vs in Sam's, and in the past 18 days, they've slept in my bed once. (I started the tally because I convinced myself I was making things up). That all said. I like Sam. But now I'm starting to have feelings of resentment due to... all of this whole situation.

This has led to me reminding my fiancee daily how much I miss them and how lonely I am, talking about moving out (they confirmed they would still live with Sam if I moved out), and being more vocal about my mental health struggles. I've started talking to my friends about it, so quite a few of them are in on the situation, and most people are advising me that I need to communicate more or that we just shouldn't get married.

I love them a lot and do still want to get married, but I also want to break up just because it's hurting to stay in this situation.

That got a lot away from me sorry, I'm probably missing some details, but I really want to know, am I the AH here? Should I be more sympathetic to my fiancee? Am I being unfair to Sam?

What are these acronyms?

[goquokka00]

Steamy Morning

Pretty much just a hot morning with Jisung cuz I can't get this scenario out of my head :/

Pairings: Han Jisung X Reader (F!)

Genre: Smut, hints of fluff

Warnings: Oral receiving (f!), pet names, marking, unprotected penetrative sex, fingering, orgasms, softdom! Jisung, 18+

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

If there was anything you wished people knew about Jisung, it was that he was NOT a morning person.

Maybe it was because he was always up until 4 or 5 in the morning working on songs, or because you both loved to talk and hang out until late. But either way, he hated mornings. No matter how hard he tried, he always despised them.

For one, they were either too bright or too dark. For performances, he'd always have to get up at the ass-crack of dawn to get to the Stray Kids dorm so he could leave on time. But when he had time to wake up when he wanted to, the sun would always decide to shine right in his eyes.

Another thing he hated about mornings is that he'd either have to leave you in the bed or be left in the bed by you. He'd love to lay down next to you, spend time with you in the morning and just lay there, holding you in his arms. But sadly, that wasn't the case most mornings. With your job, you'd always have to leave early on weekdays to help open a coffee shop, and he'd be left alone, with your spot on the bed cold.

It was either that, or he'd have to tear himself away from you in order to quietly get ready for whatever performance he'd have. He hated doing that to you and would always consider staying just a few seconds longer to kiss your forehead and run his hands through your hair, even though you probably wouldn't feel him do that.

The last thing he despised was that he had to get up in general. Like mentioned before, Jisung was always up late. Whether it be because he was working or just being with you, he'd always stay up past 1am at the minimum. And when he had to get up and get less than the necessary amount of sleep? Oh, he hated it. Of course, you knew that, too.

That's why you always made an effort to make mornings amazing for him when you both had the day off.

It was rare for the both of you to have time off on the same day. Because you always opened, and he always had days and days of work scheduled, it was extremely difficult for both of you to have the same day off. They just didn't happen. But when they did, it always felt like a miracle that you both needed. And today was just one of those days.

It all started at 8:30am.

That's as late as your internal clock would let you sleep in. You never knew why that was, but you never really questioned it. After all, it meant that you had more time to be awake and enjoy the day. So you never minded that.

You also didn't mind the sight you got right away in the morning when you woke up.

You smiled, seeing Jisung fast asleep, soft snores coming out of his slightly open mouth. His face was squished against the pillow, one arm underneath it while the other was limp around you. It was a gorgeous sight that you never got sick of, even though you've seen it plenty of times.

But, you knew that since you were up, you were gonna have to be productive. It was something that was trained in your mind, probably from childhood. And so, you slipped out of Jisung's limp hold, trying your best to not wake him up (as he deserved to sleep in), and went to the bathroom, where you did anything else a normal person would do. Use the toilet, brush your teeth, wash your face, and brush your hair. You decided not to put in your contacts, and instead go with your glasses.

After all, you weren't really planning on going anywhere today.

Once your glasses were on, you put your hair into a loose ponytail, already having an idea for breakfast, and quickly glanced at your outfit. It was one that you always found comfort in, and one that Jisung loved the sight of. It was also one that tended to really get Jisung going.

In short, it was his Maniac Tour Sweatshirt with a pair of shorts. Really easy, really simple, and extremely comfortable. But you thought that you always looked cute with your glasses on and your hair up while wearing the outfit. A rare feeling that didn't occur often.

Once out of the bathroom, you journeyed into the kitchen, making a pitstop at the coffee machine Jisung literally never used. It was a gift from Seungmin for his birthday. It was top quality, something you could never afford. And yet Jisung never made an effort to use it. So to make sure that Seungmin's gift didn't go to waste, you used it instead. As much as you could, at least.

Once your coffee was made, you immediately got to work on breakfast. It wasn't a hard breakfast to make, it was actually far from it. But after last night's dinner, having left over rice and some kimchi that would be going bad soon any day now, your brain immediately went to Kimchi Fried Rice for breakfast. And so, that's exactly what you started to make.

It was just as you got the rice in the pan when you heard the shower start. A smile appeared on your face, knowing that Jisung was definitely up, probably trying to wake himself up before going out into the kitchen. And so, you go back to the coffee machine, making him a coffee. Otherwise, he'd be way grumpier than he usually was in the morning.

As his coffee poured, you went back to stirring the Kimchi Fried Rice, not wanting it to burn. And soon enough, it was ready to go. You dished up the food, setting it onto the counter, and went to get his coffee finished up. And that's when you felt two arms wrap around your waist, and a head rest on your shoulder.

"Good morning, Jisung." You said, not surprised by his morning antics. Back hugs was Jisung's favorite way of greeting you in the mornings, partly because he was too tired for anything else.

"Mm..." He replied. He placed light kisses onto your neck, going up to your cheek.

"I have your food ready to go on the counter. Kimchi Fried Rice." You told him. You smiled at his show of affection, and you could feel his smile as well. "And I have a coffee for you right here."

"Not interested." Jisung told you, making you a bit confused. Jisung was always a grumpy person in the mornings before he ate and had coffee. Though, it wasn't long before you realized why that was.

All thanks to the fact that he was pulling your ass against his boner.

"You're wearing my sweatshirt. 'S hot." Jisung said as he trailed his kisses back down to your neck. Immediately, his light kisses went to open-mouthed kisses, making you hum. "And you have your glasses on."

"Well, I didn't feel like wearing my contacts." You told him, leaning your neck to the side, feeling him pull you closer to him.

"Baby, you know what that does to me..." Jisung trailed, his head not leaving your neck. You just sighed, feeling him suck on your skin, leaving a mark. A dark one. And once he let go, you turned to look at him.

Oh...you wished you did that sooner.

Jisung still had damp hair. That was the first thing you noticed. You also noticed the fact that there was no shirt on his body. While that didn't really shock you, as he usually didn't have a shirt on when at home, it was still a sight to see. His broad shoulders, his muscles toned and very much present, and it all lead down to his tiny waist.

All he had on was a pair of sweatpants. And those sweatpants were just loosely hanging onto his hips for dear life. And of course, his boner was poking through just perfectly, making itself known to the both of you.

Pretty much, he had rendered you speechless. Very speechless.

"Baby..." Jisung trailed, looking at you with a dark gaze of lust. Then again, that was all he had to say for you to pull him into a kiss. Jisung instantly kissed you back, his hands going to your waist as your lips moved in sync. It didn't take much time for Jisung to push you back against the counter, lifting you up onto it.

The second that you were seated on the counter, you placed your hands onto his chest, moving up to his shoulders, then back down towards his abdomen. Jisung, on the other hand, immediately moved his hand down towards your shorts, slipping his hand under the waistband and immediately smirked as he laid his hand over your clothed pussy.

"My baby...you're so wet for me." Jisung said, going to kiss your neck. A whine immediately left your lips as you rolled your hips to meet his hand, which made Jisung chuckle a bit. "And you're needy. How cute."

"J-Jisung..." You whined, pouting towards his teasing. He just kissed your cheek, pulling your shorts and panties down your legs.

Once those were off, he immediately split your legs apart, going in between them. He left open-mouthed kisses on your thighs, eventually sucking to make a few more marks before getting up towards your soaking wet pussy, which was all the more beautiful without those panties over it.

"So beautiful..." Jisung whispered, going and placing a kiss onto your clit. You whined once again, squirming as he blew some air onto you, the coolness making you shiver. But Jisung just smiled, placing a few more kisses onto your pussy, those kisses turning to open-mouthed kisses. That made you whimper, rolling your hips again as he wrapped his arms around your thighs, pulling you a little closer to him.

If only that damned sweatshirt wasn't getting in his way.

If there was one thing Jisung loved to do, it was fuck you in his sweatshirts. It just felt like a form of ownership, like you were truly his. The only issue was that they always got in the way, like now. And so, it wasn't a surprise when he gripped the sweatshirt, pulling it up as he continued to kiss you.

"Bite it." He told you. You immediately obliged, grabbing the sweatshirt and putting it into your mouth, having it pulled up permanently. He just smiled, kissing your thigh one last time, licking his lips as he looked up at you. "Good girl."

And then, he dove in.

He immediately began to slurp and lick in between your folds, going up to your clit and flicking it with his tongue, suckling it before repeating the process. You moaned out, gripping his hair as your back arched. You rolled your hips, trying to get more friction. But that wasn't something Jisung wanted you to do. Not in the slightest.

And so, he resorted to holding your hips down with one hand, while the other was placed on your inner thigh, gently massaging the muscle. He pulled away from your core for a second, moving his hand up right above it, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit, making you whimper.

"Be good and don't move." Jisung told you, his eyes practically gazing through you. That look on his face made you whine, your eyes pleading for him to continue. "Keep your hips still for me, okay?"

"M-mmhm..." You hummed, nodding eagerly towards him. Jisung just smiled, placing a kiss onto your thigh again before going back in, licking and suckling your clit again as his hand went back to your thigh, gently massaging it.

Moans kept pouring from your mouth, your back arching again as you tried your best to keep your hips as still as you possibly could. But Jisung was starting to get pussy drunk, you could tell in the way he eagerly slurped and lapped at your folds, making that familiar tight knot form.

You whined, looking down at Jisung, who was keeping his eyes on you as well. You weren't sure how long he had been watching you, you guessed that it had been for a while. But the second that you made eye contact, he sunk two fingers right into your hole, curling them to hit your G-Spot.

That immediately got you to cum.

You squealed, gripping onto Jisung's hair as your legs shook, Jisung just continuing on as he was, guiding you through your orgasm. You didn't take long to start to come down from your high, loosening your grip on both the sweatshirt and his hair, your free arm going over your eyes as you took deep breaths, eventually getting yourself grounded.

"That's a good girl. Such a good girl for me, my baby." Jisung mewled, kissing your bare stomach and thighs, getting up before pulling you off of the counter, turning you around and pushing your chest down against it. His hand went straight to your ass, groping it as his other hand held the sweatshirt up and away from your lower region while also holding you down.

And then, you felt it.

You assumed that while he was eating you out, Jisung had taken his cock out of the confinements of his sweatpants in order to get some relief from his hand. You didn't blame him, either. Jisung loved the taste of you, always getting more turned on than he had been beforehand. So he would usually end up jerking himself off to your taste and your sounds.

But as you felt him run his cock in between your folds, you whimpered, clenching around nothing as he eventually lined himself up, slowly pushing into you.

"Good girl, take my length...that's it..." Jisung moaned out. He didn't have to go this slow, he usually didn't. But with how wet you were, he wanted to savor the moment. He wanted to feel you. And while you were also fairly needy, it was nice to feel him, too.

Jisung was long. Long enough to reach your cervix if he wanted to. He also had just enough girth to stretch you just right. It made him feel bigger than he actually was, and to him, it felt like you were just tight enough. In other words, he felt amazing.

"'M gonna start moving, my baby." Jisung said as he leaned down and kissed your shoulder blade. And once that kiss was laid, he started to thrust. It was a steady pace, one that wasn't too fast, but it wasn't ungodly slow. It was one that definitely ripped moans from you, and grunts and groans from him.

"Ji-Ji...!" You moaned out, trying your best to grip onto the counter. It felt incredible. It always did. And you knew it was only a matter of time before he started messing with your clit again.

"God...look at you, you're-holy fuck...you're sucking me back in..." Jisung moaned out, moving his hand back to your ass, gripping onto it. He kept his hips moving, eventually going into a harder-hitting thrust. And that rewarded him with slightly louder moans from you.

He loved when you made noise for him. He loved it so much, because it let him know that he was the one making you feel this good. It made him feel like he was the only one who could make you feel this good. Nobody else could do what he was doing, because you're his.

"'M gonna cum! Ji, I'm gonna cum...please..." You whined, squirming under his hold. Sure enough, there went his hand, going straight to your clit to rub quick circles on it with his thumb, making you squeal.

"Do it...Cum on my cock, baby...come on, please, do it." Jisung told you. And that's exactly what you did. Your entire body trembled as a pornographic moan ripped from your throat. Your pussy clenched around him, causing Jisung to groan, leaning forward as his hand left your clit, going back to your hip to keep himself going.

He was definitely getting close, but he wasn't gonna cum. Not yet.

"Good girl, that's such a good girl..." Jisung praised, moving his hips faster. He was definitely getting close, but he wanted you to cum with him. Just like you both normally did.

"Ji, I-I can't...God, I can't--"

"You can, my baby...please, I'm almost there, just a bit longer..." Jisung interrupted you, his brows furrowing as another groan left him. You moaned out, feeling your legs shake as that oh, so familiar knot formed in your core once again. "Please, just hang on...I'm so close, super close..."

"Ji..." You moaned out, moving slightly to get your hips closer to his. God, you hoped that he was getting there, because you were just on the ledge. That's when you felt his hand move again, going straight for your clit.

"Cum. Cum cum cum cum cum..." Jisung said quickly. You immediately obliged, crying out as your body shook again with another orgasm, clenching around his cock. That's what did Jisung in. He immediately moaned out, gripping your hips and pulling you close to his, cumming inside of you, making sure to ride out both orgasms.

He had never been more thankful you were on birth control.

Soon after, he pulled out of you, keeping your hips supported as you still shook. He let the sweatshirt go, reaching over for a rag, only to hear your shuddering breath. He looked to you, laughing a bit.

"You okay, my baby?" Jisung asked, watching you nod.

"Y-Yeah, just...just calming down." You replied, Jisung just smiling as he turned you around, helping you back onto the counter. He quickly wiped himself off, putting his limp cock back into his sweats before going up to you and kissing your cheek a few times, making you smile.

"You were amazing, baby. God, I love you so much." Jisung told you, pecking your lips as he began to wipe off your lower region. He always did this after sex, making sure to take care of you and treat you like a queen. It was the least he could do, after all.

"I love you too, Sungie." You said, smiling as he finished up, setting the rag aside. Then, he came close to you and hugged you again, making you feel warm inside. You loved how clingy he was afterwards, always cuddling or hugging you, giving you plenty of kisses and other acts of affection.

"Want me to bring you to the couch? I can heat up the Fried Rice and join you, and we can watch whatever you want." Jisung said, kissing the marks he had made earlier that morning. You could only smile, nodding at his offer.

"Sounds perfect."

[rinsuniverse]

Hii hiii moreeee scenarios aaaaaahhh what are your thoughts on woozi's s/o being independent and a workaholic like woozi? like the members tease him that she is his karma in terms of overworking hahahaha and maybe woozi clinging or whining that she is also a workaholic

woozi with a workaholic partner! ✧˖°.

this is so cute

it's past midnight already, so woozi saves his work and leaves his studio, headed straight to your home!

when he gets there, he walks over to your room to see you're not even there!

instead, he notices how colored lights and soft music is coming from underneath your office room door (imagine you have your own office in your house)

he knocks on the door before walking in

and you're seated at the desk, typing into your keyboard

"hey, i'm home," he says, and you swiftly turn to look at him, sparing him a smile before going back to your work

"welcome home, ji"

"you're still working? it's almost 1am," he says, pulling up a seat to sit next to you

"yep, still busy," you say, sorting through the things on your monitor

"maybe we should head to bed?" he suggests slowly, pouting his lips.

"you can go ahead. i'm not done with this yet," you smile, not parting your eye contact you have with the monitor

he kind of sits there and looks at you, amazed

he contemplates in his head

he wants to be an understanding boyfriend who lets you do whatever you want, whenever you want

but also... a part of him wants to drag you to bed because he doesn't want to go to sleep alone after his long day of work

"y/n, i think you should call it a night..," he says slowly, kind of dragging out his words

"i still have to get through all of these tasks, i'm sorry," you say, turning to look at him

you give him a kiss on the cheek before going back to your thing

he thinks about how you're such a workaholic

he wonders "is this what the members think of me?" and "am i like this a lot?"

he looks around your well decorated office before turning over to you again

he gets up from his seat and walks over to the door, but before his hand reaches the knob, he tilts his head and then turns back around

"have you eaten?" he asks, walking towards you again

"yeah, some snacks," you say, pointing to the wrappers and soda cans you have in your trashcan

"have you eaten properly?" he asks, but feels the need to stop himself

who is he to scold you about this stuff when he doesn't take that good care of himself either?

"i'm not that hungry," you say, turning to look at him. "i've been drinking lots of water like you requested the other day, though."

he nods, looking at you

"are you going to bed now?" you ask, not turning back to your work just yet

"no, i'll just wait for you," he says, pursing his lips

"you really don't have to-"

"come on, let's go to bed togetherrr," he almost whines, which catches you off guard

you look at him, your eyes wide and your eyebrows furrowed

"are you... whining?" you say quietly, almost laughing

"i'm going to bed alone. goodnight," he says, walking to the door

but he stops again

he really wants you to go to bed with him

he walks over to you

picks you up (if you're not comfortable with that, he'll just firmly grab your forearm so you'll follow him)

and drags you over to your bedroom where he places you on your bed

"yah, i didn't even get to save my work," you say, in complete disbelief

"it's time for bed," he says, tucking you into your side of the bed underneath the blankets

he walks over to his side and gets into the bed, pulling you so your head is resting on his chest

"you work too much, y/n," he says, scoffing

"me? working too much? that's crazy coming from you," you smirk, relaxing into him

"take breaks sometimes. let's both not be workaholics sometimes. plus, don't let me go to bed alone," he says the last part quietly, almost sarcastically, but you know he means it

thank you so much for requesting, anon! feel free to request many, many more things from me ✧( ु•⌄• )◞◟( •⌄• ू )✧

(p.s. requests are still open! i specialize in woozi stuff, but i don't mind writing about other svt members! i can also do some nsfw if you want! so request whatever and as much as you want! ς(>‿<.))

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Could I possibly request a Gallzatto x Reader about the trio planning their girls first birthday?

The planning would be absolute chaos. Also I hate planning so I hope I did this justice!!

~~☆☆☆~~

The three of you sat around the coffee table, debating about the upcoming birthday of your twin daughters.

By now all you had agreed on was the dlower theme to match their names. One wanted a big party, the other something small, and the last really wanted to go to bed since it was 1AM already and you weren't a single step closer to completing this planner.

"Can we puhleeease just decide on the cake and call it a day? I need sleep, I have work tomorrow.." You whined at them and dropped your head onto your crossed arms.

"Seriously if you don't decide right now I'm calling Marcus and do it myself."

"Chocolate cake, obviously."

"Vanilla, for sure."

"Alright screw this. I'm off to bed." You grabbed your mug and brought it to the sink before going past the table again to kiss both boys goodnight and head off. "Goodnight you two."

A defeated sigh left Lip's lips. "I don't get why she's so moody about all of this." He looked over the list of things that still needed to be decided on with multiple scribbled notes at the sides.

"The girls' birthday is nice, but you're forgetting that day was a nightmare come true for their mom." Carmen's comment had Lip take back his complaint, he felt bad remembering how you'd wake up crying night after night in the first weeks after the babies were born.

"How about half chocolate half vanilla for the cake?" Lip had taken a new piece of paper and scribbled a wonky looking cake shape, splitinto two half circles with one end saying 'vanilla' and 'chocolate' on the other. He kept writing on each side, ending with the girls' names on either side and their favorite color decorations written down as well. He turned the paper and slid it over to Carmy to inspect.

"Yeah, looks good to me. We'll ask momma tomorrow." Carmy took your list and checked off the cake bit. They moved on to the next box: drinks. A small 'alcohol?' Next to it as a means to ask the boys later. "I know I can keep my hands off it now. I'm in a good place"

So they agree on a small 'yes' next to your question, count how many people gou plan to invite and write down the amount of drinks to order for the bigger and smaller guest amount options.

A little "run by mom" note next to it in a bright color.

"Do we get their flowers for decoration?"

"What snacks are we getting? And, buying or preparing them ourselves?"

The questions that come along with your written list each took a short while to answer now that they each finally set aside the ideal birthdays they had in mind and listened to what the other had to bring to the table. They know they're stubborn and have butt heads from time to time. Hell, it led to you leaving them to figuring this out on their own just now.

"We should get momma something too."

They discussed some more before calling it a night and going to sleep.

The next morning you wormed yourself out from between them and out of bed to head to work. Your morning routine was a simple one with Rose and Lily being the easiest kids ever when it came to breakfast. You woke, fed and burped each one before putting them back to bed and gurning the volume on the baby monitor all the way up so your boys would wake up if the girls got fussy.

On your way past the dinner table you found almost the entire birthday planned out from decorations to guest lists and drinks. You only had time for a quick glance so leaving a little "let's look after dinner" note was your final action before heading out.

Together you gave everything a once-over and settled on all the details fairly quickly that evening and the party was better than expected with so many lovely gifts from both Carmy's and Lip's families. Flower themed cake and little cupcakes were available as your little girls were pampered and smothered with cuddles and kisses from everyone.

After the party was over and the girls were asleep you happily cleaned up together and went off to bed. The boys wanted to have one last smoke before joining you and came in with a small box wrapped in a little bow.

"We know today is our baby girls' day," Lip started as he sat down on one side of the bed.

"But you deserve something special too." Carmy added as he sat down on the opposite side and handed you the small box.

Opening the box you couldn't keep your eyes off the thin gold chain with an engraved heart shaped pendant on it.

The front read 'Momma' in a beatiful cursive lettering, and the back had both Lip and Carmy's full names on them.

[jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka]

Pairings: Jake Kiszka X Danny Wagner *slash pairing

Summary: Jake is a busy man running the kitchen at the restaurant he, his younger brother Sam, and his brother’s best friend Danny all work at. He doesn’t have the time to meet new people let alone date, but that doesn’t mean he’ll let his needs go unmet.

Warnings and tags: you should know me by now only 18+!!!, sexual content, M/M sex, slash of course (future SamXDanny so if that will freak you out in later chapters maybe just skip this all together), unrequited love, angst, drinking, third person POV Jake and Danny, restaurant AU, I probably missed something so if I did let me know

The title is taken from a Sleep Token song so if you’re interested you can give it a listen while you read

Word count: 6.4k

“Someone please for the love of fucksake get me a dry towel!” Jake yelled after nearly burning his hand from picking up the heated handle of a pan some dumbass had positioned towards a burner instead of away. Everyone knew you weren’t supposed to move hot pans with wet towels. He didn’t expect the towel on the counter next to it to be saturated in whatever liquid it had been used to clean up then carelessly discarded right next to the stove.

Fucking amateurs, he worked with a bunch of fucking amateurs.

Jake was the sous-chef now, having just recently risen in the ranks of the kitchen after proving himself a worthy prospect the fateful weekend the previous sous walked out and abandoned them in the middle of a rush.

The majority of the staff were frozen in place, unsure of how to regroup and delegate without a leader telling them what to do. Not that the previous was ever very organized and leaderly to begin with.

He hadn’t been trying or expecting to earn a promotion. More like after working so many years in the kitchen of his family’s restaurant back at home had just made him naturally good at understanding what to do to make the line flow seamlessly and efficiently.

So he took control for the night, then the next night, and before he could say otherwise the kitchen manager was announcing him as the new sous by the end of the weekend.

Some of his coworkers were not happy about the news since Jake was young and hadn't been there as long as a few others who would have been in the running had they taken any initiative when it really mattered. Jake didn’t care though, sous-chef or not he was all or nothing in the kitchen. A real force to be reckoned with, and despite the couple that doubted him he had just as many if not turned more into his corner after showing his chops and getting things back in order. Maybe even better than before if he did say so himself.

It was just past midnight, 1am creeping up quickly when Jake was finally finishing up cleaning after the dinner rush. He was always the first to arrive at the kitchen, managing the prep for the night's menu and making sure all his kitchen staff showed up to work on time and sober. Well at least sober enough to not lose any appendages while wielding a knife.

He was also always the last to leave, taking a moment to himself to eat something while he waited for the restaurant manager to close since someone had to witness the cash being deposited into the safe.

“The fuck are you still doing here?” Jake’s bones nearly jumped out of his body at the sight of a tall and lanky figure stepping out of the shadows after he locked up the back door.

“Waiting for you” Sam replied with an amused laugh at the sight of startling his older brother.

Jake pressed past him, gripping the strap of his bag that held his notebook and his food-stained dirty jacket to be tossed in the wash when he got home. “Why?” He called backwards when Sam kept following him.

“I told Josh I’d help him set up for the party tomorrow night. Savanna ordered a few extra bottles at distributor price and they got delivered today so I’m going to drop them off at your place”.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me Sam. She can get in trouble for that!” He scolded him. He wasn’t necessarily mad at Sam, because that sounded exactly like something he would do without thinking about the repercussions, but Savanna, he expected her to know better and not let Sam’s bad influence rub off on her so easily.

“Don’t worry” Sam sighed, annoyed already by Jake's tone. “I paid her for them, it’s not like they’re losing any money”.

“Yeah, only the taxes they have to pay on those extra bottles” he quipped back actually pissing Sam off because well he didn’t think about that and he didn’t like being proven wrong.

“Yeah, whatever, it was a one time deal. Won’t happen again, sir” he drew the last word out, picking fun at the way Jake’s head chef had come in and demanded everyone start referring to him as Sir now. He wouldn’t admit it outloud, especially to his brother, but he quite liked it.

Jake started working at the restaurant straight out of culinary school. A little over two years ago now whether he believed it or not.

He was the first to graduate, having chosen an easier academic path than his brothers. Josh had just graduated next, having taken him one year longer to receive his bachelor's degree in fine arts and filmmaking.

It was a tedious search to find an area that benefited both Jake and Josh's dreams, culinary arts and film. Neither of them were ready to part after highschool, but eventually they found what they were looking for in Nashville. They made the move expecting to grow used to being out on their own but only a couple years later Sam and his best friend followed them out here.

After Sam’s first year of college Jake decided he had gotten enough partying in and got him a job at the restaurant so he could keep an eye on him.

At first Sam was just a waiter, but he hated that. Being quick to an attitude and having a loose tongue were not favorable attributes for the position. He was constantly getting in arguments with the guests.

Just when Jake thought Sam would be fired he got moved into the position as bartender. The role fit Sam’s set of skills far better, Sam being a genius mixologist since before he was even legal to consume.

Then Jake found out that Sam and the bar manager were hooking up. Savanna didn’t strike him as Sam’s usual type, but who was he to get in the way of his brother’s needs.

“You got tomorrow night off right?” Sam questioned as he followed Jake to his car, helping himself to placing his bags and bottles into the backseat before climbing in up front.

Jake didn’t reply. Of course he’d gotten the night off, Josh would literally kill him if he missed it, but he was dreading it nonetheless.

It was Josh’s going away party. Now that he’d graduated he was moving to New York to start working on a few sets. He had impressed one of his professors that was still in touch with a few influential people on Broadway, giving Josh a recommendation and ultimately a test run at a job the summer right after graduation. It wasn’t film, Josh was excited to be getting started somewhere.

Although Jake was more than proud of his twin, the idea of living alone for the first time half way across the US from his other half made him sick to his stomach.

Before leaving Josh decided he wanted to host a party. He convinced Jake to agree to have it at their place since it was a central location. He had invited quite a few friends from school and Sam turned around and invited people from the restaurant against Jake's wishes.

When Sam asked him why he was so pissed off he had invited their ‘friends’ Jake merely rolled his eyes. He saw those people nearly six days a week. Home was his escape from work and he did not want to see any of them there. Well, all but one.

Then there was Danny.

Jake was very familiar with Danny. Having also grown up with him in Michigan. He was Sam’s childhood and still best friend who followed Sam follow his brothers to Nashville.

When he first heard that Danny was coming with Sam Jake was shocked. He knew the two of them had been close in highschool, but to leave home together, there had to be a deeper reason.

Then the pieces started to fit the more Jake observed him. Sam got Danny his old waiter position when he became a bartender. Stating it was just easier for them to work together than separately since they were coming from the same school and to the same apartment.

Danny and Jake were a lot alike compared to their counterparts. Sam and Josh were both chaotic and high energy. While Danny and Jake were overall more reserved and soft spoken.

The four of them were like chess pieces on opposite sides of the board. Josh was the king. The most protected piece, able to take a step in any direction, but always having to watch where he went. He was the oldest, by five minutes mind you, but he still took that very seriously. Always striving to be one worth looking up to.

Sam, whether he liked it or not, was the queen. Also able to move very freely. Being the youngest he had the world in the palm of his hand.

Jake and Danny were both knights, the king's knight and the queen's knight. They were restricted in their movements, constantly fighting and sacrificing themselves for the benefit of those most important to them.

Jake was bound by his dream, wanting to follow in his fathers footsteps. Although their dad never went through culinary school, he managed to open and run a successful restaurant back in their hometown, all while juggling raising three boys.

The three of them grew up in that restaurant, feeling obligated to put in some work when they were able to give back to their parents. It was never a chore for Jake though. He loved cooking, and just about the time he realized he was good at it, so did his father, having been the one to convince him to go to school.

The plan had always been to go back home and take over, but after graduating he realized he had developed a taste for the finer variety of the culinary world. The restaurant he worked in was much nicer than the family restaurant. Not that he wasn’t proud of where he came from. The demographic for restaurants in Michigan and the ever growing Nashville just called for different atmospheres.

Danny was bound by love. Jake knew Danny was in love with his younger brother. It was written all over the boy's face the way he stared longingly at his best friend when he thought no one was paying attention. He didn’t know if Sam knew Danny was in love with him. He hadn’t figured that one out for sure yet, but if he had to guess the way Sam heedlessly brought Savanna over to their shared apartment, the answer would be no.

Jake pulled into his parking spot in front of his apartment, waiting for Sam to gather all his things before locking the car.

Sam had a key, but his hands were too full to dig it out so Jake let them in instead.

“You crashing here tonight then?” Jake grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge to take back to his room with him, tossing one in his brother's direction. If the party was going to be anything like what Sam had been hyping up, then they both needed to start hydrating now.

“Yeah, Danny will be over tomorrow afternoon to help” Sam opened his water and downed about half of it before jumping onto the couch where he planned to make himself comfy for the rest of the night.

“Great, can’t wait”.

“Are we already out of the booze?” Jake groaned while shifting through the empty glass bottles on their counter top.

“Not by a long shot brother” Josh called him out of the kitchen and into the small laundry room. He lifted the lid to the washer and revealed it had been filled to the brim with ice, multiple cans of beer and more liquor stashed inside. “Didn’t have enough counter space” he grinned.

“Clever” Jake shook his head in disbelief but also thoroughly entertained by his brothers’ resourcefulness.

After retrieving a bottle he mixed a strong drink before braving returning to the living room.

Jake had been buzzed since before people started showing up, holding out on getting completely shit faced for his brother’s sake.

Josh introduced him to a few of his close classmates, each one being shocked to find out that Josh was indeed a twin. Jake put up an easy going front, but he was getting burnt out quickly. Tonight was his first night off in over a week and it was going to be his only night off this one. It was a bitch to get this night specifically off, having traded a few days and come in extra to make up for it. Of course Danny, Sam, and Savanna had also worked it out to come, so Jake couldn’t help but wonder how the place was doing without all of them.

“Think the dinner rush is going smoothly?” Someone who was reading his mind muttered from closely behind him, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“Don’t sneak up on me, you know I scare easily” Jake spoke quietly back to Danny. He didn’t know why he felt the need to converse with him in a hushed tone when everyone else in the house was practically yelling at each other over the music. “Result of growing up with brothers who constantly played pranks on each other”.

“I remember,” Danny chucked, stepping up to stand next to Jake now instead of behind him “sorry”. he didn’t need to apologize, but the effort was still nice. “Are you enjoying the party?”

Jake sighed, letting his facade drop for the first time tonight. For Josh he had to be strong, Sam had done well in steering clear of him, but this was just Danny. “Honestly? I’m exhausted. There’s a dozen things I’d rather be doing with my day off”.

“I understand” Danny so easily responded. Although Jake knew Danny could get wild especially when getting into a mess with Sam, he retreated into a shell in big crowds of people he didn’t know as well as he did Jake and his brothers. He’d likely been masking all night too and was also relieved to be talking to just Jake.

Jake’s eyes kept scanning the room, watching Josh bounce around from group to group constantly making sure his guests were being entertained. If anyone was going to be exhausted by the end of the night it was going to be him, but for now he was feeding off the energy. Then his gaze found Sam, hand propped up against the wall as he leaned in towards his date, a pink flush in his face from his drink signifying he’d already had too much. He leaned over and whispered something into Savanna’s ear, making her blush even darker and giggle. In his peripheral he could see that Danny was also watching the exchange between Sam and his girl.

An idea hatched in his fuzzy brain, taking a large gulp of his cup for the courage to follow through with it. “Like I’d much rather be getting laid right now. Too bad the only one who looks like they're getting any around here is Sam”.

Jake knew he would get a rise out of Danny, he could see it in the way his grip was tightening around his cup. He did not expect Danny to say what he did though, and it was very intriguing.

“Jake, you could sleep with anyone you wanted to in this room” Danny nearly scoffed. He was getting riled up as Sam was now openly planting kisses down Savanna’s neck. He tore his eyes from them and looked down at Jake intently watching him in return.

“Like you?” Jake pressed, smirking when Danny’s jaw fell.

Jake had dabbled with both sex, never bothering labeling himself rather just letting himself experience every beautiful corner of sexuality his heart desired without too much thought. Some people, however, were off limits. On any other night his younger brother's best friend was definitely off limits.

As soon as he poured that last drink Jake knew he could kiss being sober goodbye, but what his drunken state was allowing him to do was none of his sober self’s business. It wasn’t a lie when he said he’d much rather be getting laid right now. The joke was that ever since he’d become aware of Danny’s secret little crush, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him.

“Jake, I-” Danny was opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water, not able to form a coherent sentence for everything that was running through his head right now.

“I’m going to make up an excuse to say goodnight to Josh so he’s not looking for me. You remember which one is my room right?”

Danny stayed silent, eyes flickering around to see if anyone was watching them have this shameful conversation, which no one was, then simply nodded his head.

Jake did just as he said, finishing his drink and pretending to be absolutely plastered as he approached his twin.

Danny watched, a smile fighting its way onto his face as Josh attempted offering to help Jake up the stairs, but Jake managed to convince him he could do it. With success, he turned around to send Danny a wink before trekking up and disappearing onto the second floor.

Danny made a stop by the kitchen, grabbing another plastic cup from the open package and filling it along with his before slipping away from the party.

He thought about knocking, but he had a cup in each hand now. His heart was pounding as he stood at the door, debating if he should just turn around and go back downstairs and deal with Jake being upset with him later.

Before he had too much time to think about it, the door opened and Jake was standing there having stripped down to only his boxers.

“Were you just going to stand there like a big idiot all night?” Jake had a permanent smirk on his face, making Danny question even further if this was a good idea or not.

Despite his better judgment he stepped inside, Jake shutting and locking the door behind him.

Danny’s eyes immediately went to his bed. It was large and dressed in deep red sheets with a matching duvet, taking up most of the room centered on the far wall. The headboard had built-in shallow shelves, just enough to fit a few books and some other various nicknacks.

He turned around to face Jake now, thrusting the extra cup into his chest until he took it from him.

“Thanks” Jake chuckled, making Danny’s blood rush at the sound mixed with the sight of his smooth chest barely rising and falling with the breaths it took to do so. He took a sip of the drink, actually wincing at the taste. “Damn Danny, you trying to actually get me plastered? Or do you just have to be that drunk to sleep with me?”

“Hmm?” Danny still hadn’t found his words yet, taking a drink of his cup as well to see he had mixed them really strong, but by complete accident. “No, it’s just-”

Jake cut him off again, his nerves making him talkative whereas it made Danny speechless. “Look, you don’t have to do this. It’s just I haven’t gotten any in a long time. You know what it’s like at work, I don’t have time to be trying to meet people. We know and trust each other, so it’s just convenient if we can help each other out with this”.

Jake took Danny’s cup from him and placed the both of them down onto the desk in the corner, moving slowly so Danny could think about what he’d said.

“How did you know?” Danny finally managed to speak up, but Jake didn’t understand exactly what he was trying to get at. “How did you know I’m into guys?”

If Jake was in his right mind then maybe he could have come up with something to say, but instead the truth came sliding out. “Because I know you’re in love with Sam”.

Well if that wasn’t a mood killer then he didn’t know what was.

Again, Danny was shocked into silence. He wanted to deny it, but knowing Jake as long as he had he actually felt a little relieved that someone knew his secret. Someone who he was also close with and knew would keep it quiet until he was finally ready to tell. If he was ever ready to tell.

“Don’t worry, this doesn’t have to mean anything” Jake tried to salvage this energy between them. He’d gone as far as to get Danny up into his room, and he would be damned if they backed out now. (Well actually if Danny said he felt uncomfortable or decided he actually didn’t want to then of course Jake would back off, but until then he was going to try to keep pressing forward).

“We’re both adults now, with needs” Jake started back over towards Danny, maintaining an intense eye contact as he carefully approached. “Needs that can easily be satiated tonight”. He reached over and placed his hands on either side of Danny’s waist, putting solid pressure in each of his fingertips.

Danny’s form was stiff underneath his touch, but was quickly softening as Jake tugged at him to move forward. Once he broke free of the imaginary roots holding his legs in place, Danny stepped forward, letting their lower bodies press together. Jake slid one hand up his still clothed torso, trailing it around his shoulder and burying it into the hair at the nape of his neck. “You have needs don’t you Danny?”

Danny shuddered at the feeling of Jake's fingers massaging his scalp, allowing himself to reach over and cup Jake's flushed face in his large hands. “Yes, I do” he sighed heavily, his warm sweet breath tickling Jake's cheeks with how close they were, but something was still holding him back.

“Besides, I do look somewhat like Sam. You can pretend I’m him, I don’t mind. Just for tonight”. With that Jake pulled Danny down into a heated kiss.

All of the force was in Jake's lips, but Danny reciprocated the kiss just with more hesitancy.

He already felt himself slipping away, the allure of Danny becoming stronger the closer he allowed himself to get. His lips parted ever so slightly, not enough for Jake to get his tongue inside, but enough for him to slit his lips in between. He took Danny’s bottom lip between his, now able to taste him, the warmth and bitterness of his drink still so fresh. Jake nibbled on Danny’s bottom lip before letting him go to take a step back and gauge his reaction.

“If we are going to do this then I need to know you want to. There can’t be any weirdness between us after this. We still have to work together, be around each other, and act like nothing has changed between us”.

Jake spoke with certainty, or at least he was doing a very good job at reassuring him that he was. In reality he was just as hesitant and nervous as Danny was. He did hope this would change something between them. Jake was determined to rock Danny’s world tonight. To treat him both as gently and as rough as a man like Danny deserved so he’d have no choice but to come crawling back to Jake for more.

Even if Danny couldn’t love Jake the way he loved Sam, at least Jake would have this. At the end of the night, he hoped that it would be enough.

Danny pulled Jake back against him, letting his head fall onto his shoulder, his curly hair tickling Jake's jaw, and just held him there for a moment.

Jake had to concentrate on standing still. Sure he had been this close to him before, they’d had their fair share of friendly hugs over the years. He’d never given him a hug with a half hard-on though.

Their hugs usually only lasted a short while, but Danny wasn’t breaking contact as he fought to think of a reason not to indulge. A real reason besides the obvious one. That if Sam ever found out he’d be furious with the both of them.

Danny turned his face in towards Jake's neck and let his lips brush over the sensitive raised skin there, finally admitting “I want to”.

He placed a kiss there, then higher up on his neck, his jaw, his cheek, until his lips landed back on Jake’s to seal the deal.

Something seemed to snap inside Danny, he let go of whatever last bit of reservations he had and really let himself succumb to the darkness within himself.

He’d always noticed this siren-like allure Jake had. He was appealing to put it simply, the way he played to his strengths without boasting about his accomplishments. Not very many men could keep themselves humble, but Jake never even wavered in his standards even as he took control.

Without letting his lips leave Danny’s again Jake mumbled “let’s go to the bed then. Unless you want me to tackle you to the floor?”

He felt Danny’s lips curl into a smile just before he gripped Jake's hips and spun them around. Backing him up through his room until Jake's legs hit the edge of his bed. Jake fell backwards into its embrace, curling his fingers around the collar of Danny’s sweater and pulling him down on top of him in the same motion.

With his feet still on the ground in front of the bed, Danny was bent over above him. One hand firmly planted on the bed next to his head and the other was roaming the expanse of bare skin on Jake's side, stopping every few inches to grip and squeeze then moving on as he deepened the kiss. Jake wasn’t expecting this position so soon, but it wasn’t a bother, he knew he could still take back control even from this angle.

Jake parted his lips now, a wide invitation that Danny graciously accepted, diving his tongue inside for his own taste.

With Danny distracted in exploring his mouth, Jake took the initiative to test taking it to the next step by wrapping one of his legs around Danny’s hips. His calf came to settle on the swell of Danny’s ass, and he leveraged himself up so that their fronts could grind together.

Danny let out a sound that wasn’t quite a moan yet, more like a stifled plea for more. Then his hand left Jake’s side, moving lower to gather his other leg and pull it around his hip as well before bucking back harder into Jake.

They were both fully hard now, rutting their erections on each other through their clothes like a couple of horny teenagers just trying to prove how turned on they were right now.

Jake was trying to remain patient, but now that Danny had reciprocated his desire, it was becoming harder (literally harder) to not lose his cool.

Despite how badly he wanted Danny right now, whatever way and in whatever position he would give it to him, Jake didn’t know the extent of Danny’s sexual history or if he’d ever been with another guy before.

He’d already accepted coming into this that he’d have to be the one to keep them focused and make sure enough prep had been done before things got too far.

They both needed a breath, so Jake pulled away first. “I sure hope your idea of getting laid doesn’t include staying completely dressed” he teased.

Danny stood back up, letting Jake's knees fall to the side onto the bed and worked at his belt buckle. As soon as he got the belt undone the button and zipper was next, undoing the both to allow a little more room for himself.

Jake wanted to complain when Danny abandoned what he was doing at his hips but quickly became appeased again when he reached up to instead lift his sweater off revealing a more toned torso than he remembered.

He had to bite his lips to keep himself from the subjective commentary that was flooding his brain since Danny seemed somewhat unsure of himself.

He wanted Danny to feel comfortable around him otherwise he wouldn’t be able to fully enjoy himself and Jake couldn’t have that.

Sitting up, Jake took over for him, digging his thumbs into the waistband of his jeans and helping slide them down, his boxers getting caught and pulled off with them.

Jake held eye contact with Danny as he felt him spring free between them. Starting with one hand, but without looking away, Jake reached down and felt him.

He could already tell he was larger than he’d even expected, not too big, but so hard that he almost pulled back from his touch. “Fuck, Danny” Jake breathed out as he slowly tightened his grip and offered some relief.

Danny put his hands on both of Jake's shoulders to steady himself and he sighed and leaned his head back. “Yeah, that’s the hope” he chuckled once he’d gotten over the initial sensitivity of being touched by someone else for the first time in a while.

Now that Danny wasn’t watching, Jake took the opportunity to look down. He looked even bigger with Jake's hand wrapped around him. Jake had seen Danny naked before, plenty of fourth of Julys were spent at home changing together in the back of a van at the lake. Back then though Jake hadn’t dared look too far nor did he know at the time that he would someday be excited by seeing Danny.

Excited he was indeed, having to palm himself over his boxers for a second just to ease himself a little bit before moving onto his next course of action.

Danny felt Jake disappear as he lowered himself onto his elbows and knees on the bed in front of him. He took Danny by surprise as he traded his hand for his mouth, his plump lips stretched out as they wrapped around the tip.

“Fuck” Danny hissed, tangling his fingers in Jake’s hair as he started to bob his head.

Jake reached up again, stroking the base of his shaft now that he’d gotten it nice and slippery. “Yeah, that’s the hope” he pulled off just to repeat Danny’s smart aleck comment then went back in with even more vigor than before, sucking and twisting all at the same time.

The fingers in his hair tightened and he knew what that meant. Removing his hand, he let Danny rock his hips further into Jake's mouth until he was brushing up against the back of his throat.

“I’m close” Danny groaned, warning Jake since he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from continuing until he’d released.

With that Jake gave him one last cheek hollowed suck before popping off and backing further onto the bed.

Danny whimpered at the feeling of the cool air hitting his wet cock. Wishing now he hadn’t said anything so he could have stayed in the warmth of his mouth for even just a minute longer. A minute longer was about all he was going to last though, and he didn’t want to be finished yet.

“My turn” Jake called for Danny to join him, laying back and lifting his hips to slide off his boxers.

Danny looked anxious, maybe he had never done this before, but followed Jake's command, crawling over to him on the bed with determination in his eyes.

“You don’t have to blow me. Another time perhaps” Jake reminded him that they didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to, but only wished Danny would be willing to try a few things.

“I need you to help me with something else, you see a blue book up there?” He nodded to the headboard above him. Danny’s eyes scanned the few books, quickly finding the one Jake was referring to and reaching to pick it up. Something about it felt off, it was light compared to its size, but the weight distribution was also moving as he brought it down and handed it over.

Jake pulled the cover back to reveal the book was actually hollow, containing a stack of condoms and a small bottle of lube.

“Often jerk off while reading in bed?” Danny questioned his stash as Jake retrieved the bottle and tore off one of the foil squares before handing him the book to put back.

“Wouldn’t you like to know” Jake smugly replied, opening the bottle and squeezing the tiniest amount since he knew a little went a long way onto his hand then coating his member with the slick gel.

Danny watched Jake work himself with wide eyes. The way Jake laid there seemingly without any fear and let Danny see him in such an intimate state, it was breathtaking.

“Have you ever fingered someone before?” Jake questioned. All teasing and jokes had left his tone, instead he was completely serious and trying to keep his breathing steady.

“I’m not a virgin” Danny replied, slightly chagrin about Jake's doubting of his skills.

“Noted. Good to know, but what I asked is have you ever fin-” it was Jake's turn to be cut off when Danny quickly snatched up the bottle and squeezed some onto his fingers before positioning them at his backside.

“Woah! Ok! Easy! You have to go easy”. Jake tried to scoot away, but Danny placed his free hand on his hip and pulled him back down until his inner thighs came in contact with Danny’s knees.

“Relax, you have to relax” he copied the same pattern of speech, but with a soothing voice as he leaned down and connected their lips once again before slowly easing a finger inside. “See, I do know what I’m doing”.

Trusting in his friend, Jake did relax, moving his hand that had gone steady against himself to grip Danny’s thigh letting all his tension reside there instead of other places.

“Does it feel good?” Danny questioned after a few moments of working another in.

Jake let a long breath out through his nose, “actually, you can go a little harder, if you want”.

“You don’t have to tell me twice” he gave Jake one more peck on the lips then twisted his fingers upwards before pressing further inside, as far as his knuckles would let him go.

“Oh!” Jake felt his voice nearly squeak when Danny managed to brush up against the spot no one else had managed to reach with just their fingers before. Jake never minded being fingered, but it was usually just a means to reach a better goal. The way Danny was handling him though, it was different than anyone else he’d ever been with before. It was like Danny was trying to make him enjoy it.

“How about now?”

“Oh god Danny, enough, I’m ready for you now”. Jake moved his grip from Danny’s thigh to his forearm, desperately trying to pull him away. “Would you lay down? I like to start out on top”.

The sound of that was appealing enough to get Danny to retreat, removing himself from between Jake's legs and flopping onto his back next to him.

Jake found the condom he’d left at his side, tearing it open before lifting himself up and mounting Danny.

He was situated just above his knees so he could roll the condom on before inching forward. A pair of big tanned hands caressed his thighs as he got into position.

Jake paused, allowing himself to study Danny’s face as he lowered himself onto him, slowly letting out the breath he was holding in as he did so.

Danny closed his eyes, letting his fingers dig into Jake's skin just as Jake had into his. “You’re really tight” he groaned, wiggling his hips trying to get comfortable.

“I know, I might have gotten a little ahead of myself, I forgot how big you are. Just give me a second” he placed his hands on the chest of the man below him. Then letting his legs do the work he began to move, the leftover lube inside of him from Danny’s fingers just enough to help him glide up and down.

“Forgot?” Danny panted, his hands traveling from Jake's thighs to his rocking hips. “I guess I’ll just have to make sure you don’t forget again”.

It felt like the earth turned on its axis, and suddenly Jake felt the bed beneath him again. Danny managed to stay tucked inside during the move, lifting Jake's leg onto his hip like the position they’d been in earlier.

He lifted Jake’s lower half barely off the mattress and began thrusting, making Jake cry out at the sudden deepness and shocking sensation he was driving through his body.

This was not how he imagined the night playing out. He meant to work up to it, build some pressure, make it last long. The way Danny was man handling him right now sent the plans of all the dirty things he wanted to do to him flying out the window.

Jake was glad the party still seemed to be going strong downstairs, the music a cover for his moans. In hindsight he had probably been a little ambitious in the way he egged Danny on. It really had been a while since he had gotten any, and Danny was giving it to him so good now that he was already dangerously close to the edge.

He reached in between their sweating bodies, stroking himself to his limit. “I’m going to cum,” he staggered out, “just don’t stop what you’re doing”.

Danny’s moves were faltering, he was close too, but he managed to keep it up just long enough for Jake to finish, clenching around him as his body quaked with pleasure.

Since he came so quickly, he’d expected to have to finish Danny off, but as soon as his body settled Danny dropped to his elbows, burying his hands into Jake's long hair.

If it had been anyone else Jake would have pushed him off. The overstimulation was getting to be too much especially now that his spent cock was caught pressed against their bodies, but Danny seemed so close he just bore down and let him have it.

With one more heavy thrust Danny was coming undone, his brows furrowed and his eyes clenched closed. Jake watched again as the smallest bead of sweat rolled down the tip of his nose and dripped onto his lips. His tongue darted out to lick it away, then he pulled his lips between his teeth, one silent word leaving his mouth.

It didn’t matter if Danny didn’t say it aloud, Jake had seen him say it a thousand times, he’d recognized it on Danny’s lips anyway.

Sam

Part 2

[jade-qilin]

lion’s lullaby | twisted wonderland (leona kingscholar x gn!reader)

notes: writing leoyuu fics is basically a coping mechanism at this point. LOL anyway have this silly little drabble i made because uni is making me sad and stressed but staring at Leona makes me feel better. also i realized that this is the second fic where leoyuu falls asleep together whoops lol

anyway i wrote this after 1am while deprived of sleep but regardless i hope you’ll enjoy it <3

details & content warnings: gn!reader + they/them pronouns, reader is depicted as an adult + as Yuu/the prefect, fluff with comfort, headcanon on Leona’s backstory (slightly), reader does their studies lol, can replace Yuu’s name with yours, no beta we overblot like men, sort of self-indulgent sorry, slight OOC for Leona but not really

ao3: xxx || no reposts; reblogs and follows appreciated

“Oi herbivore, come back to bed.”

Leona looks up from his bed with tired eyes, watching his lover pouring over their notes with a hunched back. A grimace adorns his handsome face as he hears them muttering to themselves, the latter being too immersed in their work to hear the beastman’s words. Leona pushes himself up from his bed, the plush mattress creaking slightly under his weight.

He saunters over towards Yuu, wrapping his long arms around their frame. Soft brown hairs tickle the prefect’s neck as Leona nuzzles his face under their jaw, peppering them with soft kisses. His tail flicks lazily behind him as he pulls them to his chest. Yuu jumps in their spot at the contact.

“Hey,” he nearly whispers, voice soft and deep. “It’s past midnight already. Come to bed.”

Yuu stares at the clock on Leona’s desk (it was a gift from Ruggie, with a very loud alarm), surprised to see how fast time had gone. The prefect originally came to Leona’s room to study in his company, preferring to have the lion’s soft snores in the background rather than the screeching voice of Grim and the spectral visits from Ramshackle’s ghostly residents. They had only meant to stay for a couple of hours before returning to their own dorm for curfew.

They sigh bitterly, looking at their essay with a disgusted sneer. Despite working on this particular assignment for hours now, Yuu found that they hadn’t made much progress at all. Everything about the work was overstimulating, making the prefect unable to focus.

Yuu leaned back in Leona’s desk chair, turning their head to meet their boyfriend’s temple. They bump their head against his and give him an apologetic smile before kissing him.

“‘M sorry, Leona. Didn’t mean to take this long. I’ll head back to Ramshackle now.”

But as Yuu lifts themselves up onto their feet, intending on packing up their materials, Leona’s strong arms keep them against his muscular frame. Forcefully, yet also gently enough, he drags the prefect towards his bed, pulling them both down as falls back onto the plush blankets. Yuu lays there stunned for a moment before trying to squirm out of Leona’s grasp.

“Leona, I need to go now. Curfew was a while ago and Grim’s probably worried I’m not back yet.”

“Hah? Who cares what he thinks?” Leona huffs, pulling Yuu impossibly closer to him as he rearranges his long limbs into a more comfortable position. “‘Sides, he’ll be fine. He knows you came to see me so he can rest easy.”

“I don’t have any pajamas here.”

“Can’t believe you don’t have any of your shit here, considering how often you visit. Anyway, you can just borrow one of my extra shirts.” Leona smirks, lips curving up against your skin. “You look better in my clothes anyway.”

Yuu punches against the beastman’s arms lightly, unable to hide the amused smile on their face. “Sounds tempting, but isn’t it against the rules for students to swap rooms without proper arrangements?”

“Oh, so now you care about those pathetic rules. Didn’t hear you complainin’ back when you made that deal with the Octopunk. What are you now, a second Rosehearts?”

“That was because I was otherwise homeless! Didn’t help that Crowley was completely useless then too.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say.” Leona rolls his eyes half-heartedly.

Truthfully, he wasn’t able to come up with a good retort since what Yuu said really was the truth. The only thing the housewarden knew was that he wanted his herbivore nearby; exam season had fallen upon the Night Raven College campus, and since the otherworldly prefect had to keep their grades up for both theirs and Grim’s sake, Leona and Yuu were hardly able to find the time to nap together like before. Leona respected his partner’s wishes to focus on studying, although it took quite some convincing (Yuu was coerced into surrendering a pillow and some other items so that their boyfriend could be constantly surrounded by their scent).

Still, nothing compared to taking naps in his bed together, or sharing a meal in the dining hall, or falling asleep to the sounds of each other’s voices late at night. Leona also knew the importance of rest, and that a human’s much more fragile body needed more time to recover than a beastman’s or a fae’s. That, on top of his own selfish desires, forced him to physically restrain you from leaving that night.

“You needa get that damn Grim to start working harder,” he yawns. “You can’t be working for two people like this.”

“I mean, it’s not usually that bad. More often than not, the homework here isn’t much harder than what I had to do at home.” Yuu hums before continuing. “It’s just… this particular assignment that’s getting to me.”

“You’re stressing out that much over one assignment? How bad can it be?”

“Crewel wants us to write an essay on some scientific compositions of rare elements found in Twisted Wonderland,” Yuu recalls with a sigh. “It shouldn’t be this hard, and I know I have a month until it’s due, but the element I was assigned is so rare that there’s almost no information on it! Like how am I supposed to meet the minimum length requirement if I barely have any content to begin with?

“And don’t even get me started on the fact that Crewel is very particular about how he wants students to compose their works. I can’t believe he has the time to be picky both about his fashion choices and school assignments.”

Leona snorts at the last comment. Ah yes, he muses. Crewel and his infamous nitpicky side. It’s a wonder I passed his class in my first year.

“‘M sure you’ll do fine,” the prince mumbles, feeling sleep overcome his body again. “You always push through your troubles; it’s one of the reasons why I asked you out.” One of the reasons why I became attracted to you.

When Yuu doesn’t respond, Leona gently pinches at their sides. The prefect gives an exaggerated sigh before throwing their hands up.

“Okay okay, I give in. Let me just get into some comfier clothes then.”

Score, Leona thinks to himself as he untangles his limbs from his lover’s. He watches Yuu with earnest eyes as they move towards his messy wardrobe. The prefect picks out a cotton t-shirt with motifs from Sunset Savanna and a pair of Leona’s grey sweatpants that he would wear on lazy weekends. Yuu then walked towards the joint bathroom, closing the door to change.

When they re-emerge, it takes everything in Leona to not jump at them immediately. His ears twitch with delight, a purr threatening to escape from his chest as he eyes his lover in his clothes.

They really need to do this more often.

Yuu looked quite comfortable in Leona’s clothing, the shirt fitting them nicely while the waistband of the sweatpants were stretchy enough that they could fit snugly around their waist, held up by the black drawstrings that hung in the front.

Yuu shoves their uniform into their bag along with their school supplies. They left it on the floor and peeled back the cozy blanket on Leona’s bed before crawling under it. The prince’s arms stretch out, beckoning Yuu into his embrace. After settling in together, limbs intertwined under the covers and bodies flush against each other, Leona gives Yuu a few chaste kisses before reaching out to turn off the lamp on his desk.

However, he doesn’t fall asleep immediately, and neither does Yuu, if their heartbeat quickening was any indication. Leona frowned, not happy that troublesome thoughts continued to cloud his lover’s mind so late at night.

“Yuu…” he whispered, opting to use his lover’s real name as opposed to the teasing labels he gave them.

“Sorry,” they whispered back, their grip on Leona’s shirt tightening. “I might need a few moments to calm down.”

Had it been anyone else, the prince would have left the conversation at that before rolling around and falling asleep, but because this trouble was afflicting the person he cared for the most, he felt compelled to comfort them as much as he could.

And so, Leona began to sing, though with how quiet he was being, it sounded more like a poem with a rhythm than a lullaby, but hearing his voice and knowing how he was trying to help Yuu filled their heart with warmth.

The song narrated the story of a lion’s pride, featuring a young cub and its mother and father. In calculated stanzas it told the little lion to come home for the night, where the father would protect the pride, and where the mother would be there for the cub to cuddle up to. It emphasized the values of family, of community, and of protecting one’s loved ones.

The lullaby made Yuu’s heart flutter, and they smiled inwardly as they came to the conclusion that Leona suited both the parent lions from the song; with his strong arms to protect the prefect from harm, but also to soothe them from their troubles. When Leona finished, Yuu could feel the tension leaving their body.

“Is that a lullaby from Sunset Savanna?” they ask quietly. Leona hums against their forehead in affirmation.

“My mother used to sing it to me and Falena. She really valued family, and hoped the song would teach us how to care for our own in the future.” He then snorted. “Didn’t think I’d ever see the day where I’d use it.”

Yuu looks up from where they lay, their eyes tracing Leona’s resting figure under the moonlight that filtered through the large windows of his room. At first, they didn’t know how to respond; even after they started dating, Leona remained quite private about his family life, so the prefect understood that this was quite a vulnerable moment for the lion.

Yuu eventually decides to leave a long, soft kiss on Leona’s forehead before tucking their face back under his chin.

“Thanks,” they finally whisper. “I feel much better already. Goodnight Leona.”

The housewarden remained awake for a few more moments, this time confirming that Yuu had finally succumbed to their drowsiness. A ghost of a smile tug on his lips as he kisses the top of their head. He closes his eyes, tail curling around his partner’s leg gently before falling asleep himself.

Night, my love.

END

[littlerainyghoul]

Aether trying to put a fussy little dew to bed...sounds like fun lol

Do you think you can write a fic about this?

yeah sure! of course!

I love writing regressed dew, and I think him being fussy fits his personality so well! Thank you for the request!

Without futher ado:

1am shenanigans

Summary: It’s 1am, and a tired Aether is trying to put the very energetic regressed fireghoul to bed.

words: 900

Pairings: Regressed Dewdrop, Caregiver Aether, also brief appearance of Cirrus

The fire ghoul spurled around the room, his body wriggling and gleaming with energy as he chased around the laser pointer Cirrus was playing with around the ghoul common room. He had the been chasing the laser for hours before, and the energy of the ghoul came to no end as he bounced around the room.

“Deww! Its time for some shut eye! It’s 1 am dear” Aether's voice rang out in the ghoul common room, laced with nothing but concern for the fire ghoul. He stepped in front of the energetic rascal, his body exuding a presence of gentle calmness.

"But....Aefey! I don't want to go to bed! I'm not tired" Dewdrop whine, disappointment lingering in his eyes, his nose scrunched in disgust at the idea of being put to bed.

“I know, little firefly, but don't you want to wake up and have the energy to play tomorrow?" Aether spoke, as he gestured to Cirrus to put away the laser pointer.

”Aether is right, you know, I think it's time for us to go to bed“ Cirrus spoke, her voice croaky from all the laughter she passed in the past couple of hours.

”Not tired! Cirrus! Please can we play some more?" Dewdrop shot his words, as he pounced in the air and crossed his arms.

“None can do, kid” Cirrus spoke as she yawned “I'm off to have my evening shower, see ya in the morning Aeth! Goodnight little one!“ she cooed the last part to Dewdrop.

”We need to calm you down, firefly" Aether whispered.

“Aeth, five more minutes? I really want to run around! It's so fun!"

"Nope, all the other ghouls went to bed. Now would you be a good boy for me? I'll tuck you in if you behave" Aether spoke, slight irritation lingering in his voice.

Dewdrop's lower lip jutted out ever so slightly, showcasing the classic sign of a pout. The smooth curve of his lips now held a hint of resistance, a silent protest against the unwelcome suggestion of sleep. Even his fiery aura seemed to flicker with a subdued intensity, mirroring the conflicted emotions etched across his expressive face.

“Please Dew?” Aether begged, his usual friendly and warm eyes tinted with exhaustion, and a hint of concern. "Why do you even want to stay up, anyway?"

"Not tired, Aethy" Dewdrop confessed.

Aether looked at Dewdrop, his eyes reflecting a mix of weariness and amusement. "Come on, firefly, bedtime is calling, and even the laser pointer needs its beauty sleep."

Dewdrop's eyes widened at the mention of the laser pointer, torn between the allure of play and the idea that Aether used his emotions like that.

Aether chuckled, "You know, if the laser pointer could talk, it would probably be saying, 'Enough, Dew, I need a break!'" He mimicked a high-pitched, imaginary voice, eliciting a giggle from Cirrus.

Dewdrop, caught off guard by the unexpected humour, let out a small laugh but still looked reluctant. Aether seized the opportunity to continue the banter. "Besides, if you stay up all night, you'll turn into a nocturnal ghoul, and I'm not sure the others are ready for that."

Cirrus, who turned back from entering her room, joined in, "Yeah, Dew, imagine waking up to find yourself surrounded by sleepy ghouls trying to get ready for the day while you're bouncing off the walls."

The thought seemed to amuse Dewdrop, and his resistance waned as he envisioned the comical scenario. "Okay, okay, I guess I don't want to be the only ghoul wide awake when everyone else is snoring," he conceded with a grin.

Aether seized the moment, "That's right, firebug" Now, let's make bedtime a grand adventure. I'll even tell you a story about a mischievous fire ghoul who learned the importance of a good night's sleep."

With a playful twinkle in his eye, Aether led Dewdrop towards his bedroom. It glowed with the warmth of red and gold hues, evoking the essence of dancing flames. Adorned with tapestries and artwork depicting swirling fire motifs, the room's focal point was a bed with crackling ember-patterned sheets and flame-carved headboard. In a cozy corner, a lava lamp added a mesmerizing touch, its molten wax mimicking the fluid movement of lava, casting a dynamic play of light.

Dewdrop climbed into the bed, as Aether threw some blankets on his body, as he tucked in the ghoul.

"Cosy, my love?" Aether cooed softly, as he tuned on the lavalamp.

“Bed time story, please?” Dewdrop asked

"Absolutely, my little Dewcifer" Aether replied with a tender smile, the warm glow of the lava lamp casting a soft radiance across the room.

As Dewdrop nestled into the crackling ember-patterned sheets, Aether began to weave a bedtime story, his voice a soothing melody that harmonized with the gentle flicker of the fiery-themed bedroom. The tale unfolded like the dance of flames, carrying Dewdrop into a world where fire ghouls embarked on enchanting adventures beneath the starlit canopy. The lavalamp's liquid glow echoed the story's rhythm, creating a tranquil ambiance that embraced them both in the comforting warmth of the fire-themed haven.

He softly carressed Dew's cheek, as Dew softly purred while the quintessential ghoul recounted his story. As Aether continued his tale, the bond between them deepened, and the room became a haven where the warmth of the story and the glow of the lava lamp melded into a soothing lullaby, cradling Dewdrop in the arms of sweet dreams.

[toomanyfandomsimfanvergent]

Tobias x reader

**

@naishaaaaa helped me with the plot for this fic, enjoy.

Taglist: @asiludida164

**

It was the middle of the day. Yn had been swamped in work. Since defeating Jeanine and helping the tris take down the burea, yn and Tobias had gone back to dauntless.

Tobias stuck to training iniates, yn however. That was a different story.

Yn started sending reports into the burea about how the 'factions' we're doing, (you got to choose a faction or living beyond the gate), she also helped Tobias with iniates, and she gave a lot of private lessons.

Tobias started feeling, feverish and his throat was throbbing, and itchy. He didn't want to bother yn, she already was extremely overwlemed.

He finished training and went to bed early.

Yn walks into their shared apartment at 1am, an initiate couldn't get the hang of his right hook. She was bruised and ready for more work. She still has a few hours of reports to fill out.

She notices Tobias snoring on the bed. His delicate figure, so peaceful, his chest slowly rising and falling.

Yn gave him a kiss on the forehead, "love you baby," she whispered.

Walking over to the living room, she sits on the couch facing Tobias. She starts on filing reports, and answering emails from other factions regarding some ridiculous government thing, she was not even qualified for.

**

At a quarter past three, Y/N is working feverously. She hears Tobias break into a coughing fit in his sleep.

She rushes to his side, "Tobias," she pulls him into a sitting position he continues coughing. She rushes to grab a glass of water. She starts patting his back, handing him the water when he stops coughing, "hey, hey what happened? I'm right her sweetheart," she coos, soothingly rubbing his back.

"I feel like shit," he groans, leaning his head on her shoulder.

She takes the glass and sets it down, "you need meds," she starts, he opens his mouth to protest but she quickly cuts him off, "fucking bullshit, if you don't want me taking you to the infirmary I will be getting you medicine,"

He knows better than to argue with her. After having a shitty and abusive home life. Yn was very protective of her family. If she cared about you, there was nothing she wouldn't do. She backed up Tobias and comforted him after he beat up Marcus, and after yn confronted her own father and sent him to the infirmary, getting them kicked out of amity, he held her while she cried.

Yn quickly returns with various bottles.

"okay, toby what hurts," she asks, sitting at the foot of the bed.

"My throat is sore, my head hurts, I'm sore, and feel ....weird," he rambles. It had taken him getting sick twice for him to let her take control.

"okay take this," she says handing him water and an array of pills.

He does, "I'll sleep on the couch so,-"

"I don't get sick I'm divergent," she smirks.

He groans.

"okay fine, but really I don't get sick from colds and stuff, often at least," she mumbles, spooning him.

"m'sorry I love you," he mumbles into your neck.

"hey, Im here for you, baby," she coos kissing his head as he drifts into a peaceful slumber. She admires how peaceful he looks whilst sleeping.

The way his chest rises and falls. His lips slightly parted, at peace, as he, out of habit, lays on his stomach. He is perfect. He is hers. And she is his. She lays on her stomach to, resting a hand on his shoulder.

*bonus flashback*

"You fucking piece of shit ," Marcus yells, hitting Tobias across the back with the belt screaming insults.

*

"yn," her father screams, drunk.

He finds her and shoves her into the wall, he throws a beer bottle at her.

"please stop," she chokes out before her head gets fuzzy.

As he strikes her across the back with a broken glass bottle, her vision dots black.

One more hit and everything is warm and dark, fuzzy.

**

Give me more request plz

[yippeecahier]

AITA for insisting on my husband moving his stuff?

This is the kind of thing I'd put on Reddit but with all thats going on, I'm sticking to Tumblr. So I (25 NB) got married to my husband (25 M) on June 24th this year and havent even been married a whole month. We'd talked about boundaries and communication and have had multiple sessions with a premarital and now marital counselor since we got engaged in March. Before that, we dated for 2 years and have known each other and been friends off and on since the 6th grade.

When it comes to boundaries, we have two that are pretty much unshakeable: I need consistent 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in the dark (with either white noise or relative silence) and going to bed before midnight, and my husband needs alone time to play games for a few hours a day where no one will walk in (he has scopophobia from childhood trauma where his parents and siblings would barge in and even remove the door and fistfight him so now he interprets pairs of eyes as threats and wont use the university library for this reason; I wish I was joking, but I'm not, and my MIL confirmed this is true because she had my husband as an unstable teen and did, in fact, fist fight him in her 20s). I always thought these were both reasonable boundaries and could be worked with given compromise, but this is somehow more contentious than I thought.

I'm currently living in his 1 bed, 1 bath apartment. I was living out of my suitcase up to and a week after our wedding until our counselor told him he had to make space for me; much to his chagrin, I invited my mom over to help me because I was so overwhelmed by all the boxes from wedding gifts and overwhelmed from the wedding (which is why we didn't leave on a honeymoon right away). Our counselor, and now my parents (who are medical professionals), and two of our friends, say he needs to move his computer out of the bedroom.

I have autism, IBS, and a history of mental illnesses. He will lock the door to the bedroom that contains the only bathroom for hours at a time and take a long time to respond to texts. I will not be able to sleep in the bedroom or use the toilet for long periods of time. I'm exhausted and overwhelming from having to walk to the local stores to use the bathroom, and none of them are 24 hours so after 11pm I'm exhausted and having a really bad time. I live in the downtown area of a big city with him, so I cannot simply find a bush to pee/poo in. On one very humiliating occasion I used an empty food container to eliminate, and threw my waste in the trash because he wouldn't respond to his phone or unlock the door despite my panicked banging.

The stress of it, and being deprived of sleep past 1am every night only to be woken up by our neighbors at 9am is making my IBS worse and has triggered multiple meltdowns and psych episodes the likes of which I haven't seen for >2 years (including trying to walk to the train tracks to kms to escape the hell my brain was putting me through because I wasnt giving it the sleep it needs).

On one particularly bad incident, I was tired and took a nap in the morning after having a meltdown over seeing a dead cockroach in the kitchen during breakfast when my husband set multiple blaring alarms at 5am because he is a deep sleeper even though we went to bed at 2am (I did blow the situation out of proportion, but I was also sleep deprived and actively psychotic as a result). When my husband came back, he came in guns blazing and pulled me out of bed demanding to see the roaches, and expressed frustration that I went back to bed when I was freaking out about the roach over the phone some 15 minutes prior. We got in an argument about if we need to put in a request for pest control, and at one point, I yelled, "FINE, YOU’RE RIGHT AND I'M WRONG," and put my hands on his throat because I got triggered into an episode. I was shaking and asked to leave the conversation multiple times before it got to that point, but he wouldn't let me leave the kitchen - and pulled me back by my arm - until I'd heard a piece of his mind; that combined with waking up suddenly in the middle of my nap to an angry spouse after another successive night of sleep deprivation caused me to become violent whereas I'd never been violent to others in any episode before.

I regret it and apologized fervently and am trying everything I can to prevent that from happening again. I am not a typically violent person, and previous psychotic episodes only resulted in self-harm, not putting my hands on others. However, him not getting with the program I need to stay sane isn't helping. I started screaming and hitting myself during this last meltdown today over coming to a locked bathroom/bedroom door for the 3rd time after being out of the house for him to play games for 6 hours despite having another stress induced IBS episode, and immediately got back in my car to drive to my parent's house without any of my stuff.

I was deprived of sleep for the 3rd night in a row because I'm doing all the housework so he can have his games alone. His gaming computer is in the bedroom, which is locked, and he refuses to listen to requests to move the computer out of the bedroom or unlock the door because of his scopophobia. I can technically sleep on the futon, but I cannot brush my teeth or go to the bathroom because the bathroom is in the bedroom, and sleeping on the futon is interrupted because he refuses to sleep alone and will come out of the bedroom, wake me, and take me to bed with him at 3am.

Yesterday he got crabby because he "didn't get a break," and I told him I felt "hurt because it sounds to me like [he was] not grateful for the two hours I spent cleaning the apartment and dishes" the latter of which is his job, "to give [him] 2 hours to play games," to which he responded that he needs "at least 4 hours," "with the door closed and locked," and "complete silence," and my housework is "too noisy." This does not make sense to me because he cannot hear his phone notifications when I call or text to use the bathroom, and he is playing music. Moreover, knowing that the vacuum cleaner sets us both off, my parents gifted me a Roomba for cleaning that is much quieter, but he won't help to set it up.

He keeps suggesting compromises with my mom, our friends, and our marital counselor. None of them have worked, and none of them he has kept up.

1) My mom offered to buy him an L-shaped desk for him when she comes over next, but now he refuses to have her come over and doesn't want to spend money on an L-shaped desk. He also wants to use the L-shaped desk for everything BUT the tower.

2) We bought an IKEA desk for $10 at Goodwill and got cables for him to move his keyboard, screen, and mouse out of the room, but he refuses to move the tower (which has RGB that won't turn off while he's using it) out of the bedroom. Then, the door will not completely close because of all the cables running through it and I hear his music, games, and keyboard. His reason for not moving the tower? His dad (my FIL) cut the ethernet cable to the exact length for it to be in the bedroom and my husband wants to be able to lock the door to the bedroom and bathroom during the day (which he can stay there and play games all day, but don't lock the door to the only bathroom, I have literal IBS that will NOT wait. I already soiled a pair of shorts.)

3. My friend stayed with us for a bit while in transitory housing, which is how he justified locking the door (to masturbate without being walked in on). But even after our friend showed him how to turn on notifications from favorite contacts when he puts his phone on Do Not Disturb, he still silences his phone and locks the door.

4. We negotiated together with the marital counselor a possible compromise where I "own" the bedroom for 12 hours at night and he "owns" the bedroom for 12 hours during the day so that he can play games during the day at noon instead of at, say, 2am. He suggested implementing this the week after our wedding. It didn't happen, I brought it up with the counselor. He says it's because he's "on vacation" but we'll implement come July. It's a week into July and it still hasn't happened. I told him I need a functioning sleep schedule for my job two weeks BEFORE I start or I'll have a psych episode at work and get fired, and he agreed, and I still came home to a locked bedroom/bathroom door TODAY.

5) We talked about getting a two bedroom condo that's a walking distance from his university. His assets plus my salary (I'm the breadwinner right now while he's in college but he was in the military and has $40k in savings and $50k in stocks), and we qualify for up to $400k on our mortgage. He refuses to close on the 2 bedroom/2 bathroom condo I requested that's a 5 minute walk from his classes because it's "too expensive" at $375k, and he insists on a 2 bedroom/1 bathroom place for $315k that's a 15 minute walk from his campus. Even though I told him my IBS requires I have access to a bathroom at all times, he still will spend over an hour on the toilet watching YouTube even if he's not "sequestering" to play games. I won't hear a peep from him about sharing a bathroom to save $60k unless he changes his behavior. This also is the driving force behind why I want to try to move into a two bedroom condo ASAP, even though our lease ends in mid-November. He refuses because he doesn't want to pay rent for the apartment while we have a mortgage OR sublease/AirBnB it OR break the lease. I have argued with support from our realtor, mortgage broker, and my parents, that now is the time to find and close on a home because it's a several months long process, especially since we're using VA loans.

Moreover, his ass has the audacity to repeatedly twist my arm about having a baby. When we first got married, I said, "Sure, we can have kids; but first I have to find a way to be mentally stable without medications for a year straight while living with you before I can carry a viable pregnancy. I've been stable and unmedicated before, but that stability requires consistent sleep, a regular and highly regimented schedule, and consistent vigorous exercise to work." We're nowhere near that, (I fucking put my hands on him during an episode and even my OBGYN said given my medical history its not a question of if I'll get postpartum depression but when,) and he keeps asking me to schedule an appointment to change my birth control to something other than an IUD.

I'm an adult, I can leave my husband alone for 4 hours in complete silence with some effort and some frustration, but A BABY fucking won't, because it can't. It needs your attention every 2 hours to eat or poop or what have you. His kid cannot find something else to do like I can to leave him in silence most of the day unless they're in school (by age 5 and only during the schoolyear) or can drive (by age 16), but definitely not all night at any point between their birth and them moving out (given current economic trends, this wont be economically feasible until our kid is 30). Plus, the kid would occupy our 2nd bedroom in the condo and then I'd have to figure out how to get sleep in my husband's room and (share a bathroom if we go with his insisitence on a 1 bathroom cheaper condo) despite my IBS with TWO human beings, when sharing with one is hard enough.

We agreed to getting me a service animal from a program in Canada I'd been on the waiting list for since 2019, and the animal is available for me to take home this summer. I am going to Canada by myself because my husband doesn't have a passport, but we're meeting in New York to drive home together in a rental car with the animal. My parents understandably think this is an additional stressor since now I'm taking care of not only me and my husband, but also an animal. But I need something to step in and perform tasks to mitigate/alert to psych episodes.

Today he hugged me and told me he loved me and was so glad he "married [me]" because I "enhance [his] life every moment," but it feels like lip service when he won't move the computer or implement any of the possible solutions we came up with above. I wish I could say the same. I feel like my life is actually worse since I moved in. I'm contemplating quitting the new job, going back to my old one, and living with my parents until he can get his shit together enough that I can actually sleep and use the bathroom like a normal person.

I can't live with him like this, or one of us will get very badly hurt. I start work in two weeks, and need to be at work by 7am every day, so I cannot be stable enoigh to keep a job if I'm having psych episodes because I'm going to bed after midnight whenever he's feeling kind enough to remember me and unlock the bedroom door. I need two weeks to reset my sleep schedule. He says he understands after I scared him when I put my hands on him, and after each and every sleep-deprivation induced meltdown, but I feel like he really doesn't because none of his behavior has changed.

You are welcome to reblog to give an in-depth response if it doesn't fit in replies or DM me if you want it to be private. I'm desperate for help. He's not a bad guy. Everyone says that it's very apparent he loves me. He's my best friend, and I love him, but my health, sanity, and, in turn, our marriage are at stake if this doesn't get solved and soon.

[wqnwoos]

im not the same anon as earlier but help ur grades are amazing 😭😭 im sitting psych and english in october and can i ask what ur study schedule or method is like? how early did u start studying + what did you do?

HII thank you soo much!! i worked my arse off for those stupid grades 😭 i’ll put the tips under a cut, i really hope they help, and good luck for october!! u got this <3

find out what time u study best at!! i somehow trained myself to become a morning person (naturally i am nocturnal LMFAO) but during study season i usually wake up 4-5:30 or something. it feels so much better getting to 10am and u have the whole day in front of u and you’ve done most of the things u need to do, but that’s just me!! i have friends who worked best from like 11pm - 4 am

pomodoro technique — excellent for my adhd ass brain. i genuinely thought this technique would never work for me, avoided it like the plague, and then used it during a study group session w friends and Love it. (i use the flora app btw!! i feel too bad to kill the little plant so i always study to the end 😭) i recommend the usual 25 mins, 5 min break but it’s up to u <3

FLASHCARDS!!!!! i cannot stress this enough flashcards genuinely saved my ARSEEE especially for psychology!! i always phrase mine like a question, so that if you get something similar in the exam it kind of jogs your memory? anyway. for psych i do not recommend remaking notes, i went straight from class notes and the textbook to flashcards, and repeated them All The Time

past paper questions!!!!! unfortunately the education system is fucked and doesn’t want us to learn for the sake of learning, they want us to be parrots so!!! really recommend past paper questions.

for english literature (i’m assuming you’re taking literature and not language?? idk anything about language past gcse level i’m sorry 😭), i wouldn’t recommend writing out essay after essay; plan a bunch of past papers, write maybe one paragraph per past paper question. ummm idk if u guys have to include context and critical interpretations because i believe that differs with exam board, but we did, and i used flashcards for those too!! (also. please make sure u know the text 😭 even vaguely knowing quotes helps so much bc searching for them in the exam takes so much time)

for english my friends and i also used to time ourselves — fifteen minutes per paragraph so that you weren’t going on too long about one point, and you weren’t wasting all your time on one question.

study groups!! this is ONLY if u work well with other people if u know ur gonna get distracted then please don’t do all the time 😭 also for things like english study groups r sooo helpful because a lot of the time, other people will bring points to the table that u have never thought of (and u can do the same for them!!)

EAT WELL!!!! SLEEP WELL!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m so serious . if u don’t do this then nothing will go well. idgaf what time u sleep because maybe you’re more productive at 1am - 4am, but make sure ur getting ENOUGH sleep. and don’t skip meals. pleaaaaseee don’t skip meals.

i also used to use a lot of mindmaps for english, for themes / characters / context!!

for psych i also used to do blurting — writing as much as i know about one topic, going back and adding everything j missed in a different colour <3

OKAY that is allllll i can think of right now!! if u need anything else pls slide into my dms or jump back into my inbox i am happy to help !!! good luck with exams bb i know ur gonna crush them 💗💗💗

[fox-daddy]

1 am ramblings;

The body of the fool and half the heart of a magician (au? An mc story? Both?)

This is an idea I've had ever since I started playing Asra's route back in 2019 however have only spent more time messing with it recently. Looking at scenes from Asra and Nadia's route it has been messing with my mind once again. What else am I supposed to do at 1am? Sleep?

I'm dubbing it an au because I don't think it's really what happened but I like to pretend it is for Kyle my main MC purely as extra spice. You're more than welcome to use it for your MC since it doesn't really effect MC's past at all. So let's start at the beginning with MC dead and the ritual in full swing.

The way the devil wanted it to go is the fool had agreed to give their body up to a human for the chance of a new beginning, feeding into their major arcana as the fool. So the devil would give Lucio the body of the fool, fully expecting the fool to overpower him and gain a free human form while he could control the materal world. Merging it and the arcanic realms and ruling over it. His fool plan. To give the arcana more power.

However, the fool being sneaky never said which human they would give their body to. Having a plan with the magician set up behind the devil's back. Not only for a way for the magician to help Asra but also the fool.

During the ritual the magician said they knew how to bring MC back for half Asra's heart but was only telling Asra half the truth. They couldn't but they knew who could. Since one cannot offer someone else's soul without permission as seen in reversed Nadia's ending. So it's easy to assume this also works with someone else's body. Both belong to someone else after all, you can't offer something you don't own.

While they were making the deal with Asra the fool slipped away finding MC between the border of life and death being freshly killed their spirit was still left. So the fool made a deal with MC.

They would bring MC back by giving MC their body and magic in return for being able to live inside MC. This means being able to see, feel, taste everything MC does. To feel the deepest sadness to the strongest love. Something a major arcana like them could never understand. But something the fool wanted to understand.

Before I go on why doesn't MC have a mark?

Simple, they do! But unlike Asra, Nadia, Julian the mark is the magic itself. The mark of the deal is the fools magic their own aura is the mark. If you go off the chakra idea Mc's mark is above their head, not physically on their body. So looking for it on their body is never going to work. Because the mark manifested as their aura of infinite colours.

Why does the fool need half Asra's heart? Simply put it if the fool used their heart it would overwhelm Mc immediately causing the fool to take control over the body. Since the fool's deal is to being Mc back their bound by their own chains causing the body to go catatonic as the fool has no power to control Mc. They didn't agree for the fool to come back after all.

The solution is to use half Asra's heart to keep Mc grounded enough to not be immediately overwhelmed by the fools magic and body, to use Asra as an anchor. As Mc grows a stronger foundation of who they are they can tap into this power more and regain more memories without relying on Asra as an anchor as much.

The headaches being a warning their not ready yet, like how a magician gets weak if they start using too much magic. If they push it too far they start to lose themselves to the fool. Their body taking on that of the fool as they lose the ability to function due to the fools deal. Making Mc unable to recognize their own hands because they no longer look like their hands.

So in this au the pomegranate juice only helped break Lucio's deal not fully break it like Asra thinks. However the devil makes up for this by tricking Mc into leaving their body letting Lucio have it, filling his part and then just needing Lucio to full his part the requirement of his blood. The pomegranate wasn't what truly broke the ritual and the magician knows this. Having this to say when Mc wonders if the same trick would work again.

So where is the fools heart? In the middle of their realm. To keep the fools heart safe only two people have access to the fools realm. The fool and scout.

So quick question who the f is scout? Well like the lovers theirs two bodies on the fools card. The fool and their dog warning them of danger.

Scout is the fool just as much as Mc is. Which is how the realm didnt fall apart with the absence of the fool, because it still had a fool to rule over it.

This au also says we get a glance at the fools realm early on in Asra's route in a paid scene. When Mc and Asra explore his oasis an oasis designed to be able to connect to anywhere in the arcanic realms as a reminder.

It's never rained in Asra's oasis. They don't say 'this hasn't happened in years' but 'that's never happened before' I doubt Asra never took Mc into their gate before the plague with them both being powerful magicians.

That is the entrance to the fools domain in this au. If Asra and Mc climbed down they would enter the fools domain leaving Asra's oasis where it never rains.

Why does it show itself? With Mc in the arcanic realms it senses the fools magic, it can sense Mc and since Mc isn't focused on going to a major arcana like the magician or the high priestess and at this point Mc isn’t fighting something like the tower it reveals itself to them.

But hey that's just a theory, A GAME THEORY!

Jokes aside what do you think of this au? I tend to keep au's as close to cannon as I can. Even if the au itself is self indulgent.

[someone-always-cares]

chapter 5, page 48

first - previous - next

[image description: an sac webcomic page. "seems like a normal kitchen. coast's clear, but it's locked." jade says, off panel. theres a view of the kitchen from the outside. no acual kitchen appliances are shown, but there is a island counter, and a few shelves in the back with various items, notably camera equipment, cleaning supplies, and assorted boxes. "we'll have to break in here, everything else is boarded. you remember what i taught you about breaking glass?" she continues. "yeah. it'll be loud though" lewis replies. "we'll just have to take whoever hears us." jade states, the panel now showing jade hiding to the side of the window, looking at it out of the corner of her eye, while lewis has wandered off and is kneeled down to pick up something off the ground. "this glass seems sturdier than the wine glasses lewis practiced with... can he do it? i've never been able to get the frequency right, but surely any glass will break with a loud enough noise?" jade thinks to herself, looking through the window, still to the side of it, while frowning contemplatingly. she seems to be unaware of lewis behind her, raising the brick he just picked up like one would when preparing to pitch a baseball, and sticking his tongue out in concentration. end id]

yall are getting a treat with me drawing actual backgrounds the past few pages! my computer fucking hates it and has tried to crash my art program many times but im not losing to a fucking machine so the page is ready to go! and yeah i didnt think to google what a broken wire fence looks like until typing this

anyway some life updates. next page may be a little late, i have a convention this weekend (if anyone is headed to animeleague london anime and gaming festival this weekend feel free to say hi! its the one with the star fairy lights and like. my art in it? yeah. also for the same con in birmingham in a couple weeks)

also ended up getting those wooden pride cat pins! or the charms, i need to glue the actual pin bits in and that tomorrow's task!! and even more importantly, i've started the process of trying to make sac into an actual printed comic!! so far it seems like im just going to start with chapter 1, because with the printer im thinking of using, anything over 76?ish pages is automatically more expensive so currently only have the funds for chapter one (50ish pages inc bonus and prologue).

also because turns out theres more work than i thought. theres some things like getting the colours cmyk ready and fixing typos and other errors, there is some size problems (the first 6 pages in particular need to be redone entirely but not much of a loss. they look.... Not Great. maybe prologue too). also some "accidentally lost some files and the backups of said files in an external drive related incident a couple years ago" but i've got my best experts on the case (asking my dad for help). i also need to change the font since the old pages are using the old version of the font. also a front cover because i never made a cover for chapter 1. anyway. its a start

anyway this was long i really needed to sleep a few hours ago lol. its only 1am but its been a day

[laundrycephalopod]

So the Pubbers Shine sidestream stream went... astonishingly well. I pray we are able to ride this wave in the coming weeks. This may well be the culmination of what we've been working towards for years now.

I was never a big Melee fan even though I love Smash, partially due to it being the one game in the series I've barely played. The past year has done a lot to show me what makes it so special. The community is truly one of a kind (affectionate) and so is the game (derogatory) (L-canceling hurts my hands so I can't play >:/ ).

I don't know where things will go from here. Maybe it will continue to build, maybe it will fizzle out. Such is content creation. I do know for certain that I never would have gotten here alone. Much love to everyone who has helped us along.

I suppose it's a side effect of not actually being able to attend Shine itself but this all doesn't feel real, at least not yet. I heard people liked the logo, though. They'd better, considering I worked on it for like 2 months on top of moving to a new city at the same time haha

Much to do. (Can I please get to sleep before 1am a few times this week??) (Also I've been seriously considering changing my gamer tag for a while but I have no idea what I'd change it to, and it looks like I really need to do it sooner rather than later 🙃🙃)