#i accidentally deleted the first post oops :

[lavender-phannie]

*exits gamingmas covered in blood* so how we feeling phannies?

Idea from @elorca

[flowersfrombefore]

Mag 97 thoughts:

-fuck off

-fuck no

-get the buried away from me

-oh this is where the tiktok audio is from

-…..so Jon getting beat up huh….um…so Jon in pain…so um…yeah… I’m gonna stop talking now…

-cosplaying that mannequin freak immediately

[becomethesun]

a little post-canon dina/ellie domestic family fluff about jj starting school (with a side of the angst that i suppose is par for the course with a canon-compliant tlou 2 fic lol), featuring some lil fedra baby ellie and post-tlou1/pre-tlou2 lil jackson ellie flashbacks. enjoy!!!

[ushiwhacka]

time skip! ushijima wakatoshi + fem! reader | mdni | 1,446 words | established relationship, semi-public sex, oral (m! receiving), rough sex, size kink, body worship, aftercare, wakatoshi fucks your face because he loves you, ok <3

a/n: i'm so sorry if you've seen this before! i accidentally deleted my original post so yeah oops.

it’s the way wakatoshi introduces you to his teammates and coaches. his hand resting gently on the small of your back, protecting, reassuring. the silk of your dress crumples around his fingers as they dig into your flesh. a reminder that he’s thinking of you, even as he’s spent the last ten minutes discussing serve techniques and tactics. it’s the way he pulls out your chair and lends you his palm in support as you stand up. it’s the way his eyes become softer when he looks at you. little tender moments enough to start a spark deep in your belly.

at first, it’s just a gentle warmth, the intertwining of fingers, a tug of the sleeve as you pull him closer and lean into him. but he looks so handsome in his suit. and he smells so good as he dips his head down, his nose brushing your hair as he tells you how beautiful you are, how incredible that dress looks on you. 

warmth grows into searing heat and touches turn needy. nimble fingers squeezing around the thickness of his arm, tracing the ridges of hard muscle. then moving down to his thigh, playful and light, running along the inside seam of his pants, moving up up up, until his hand wraps around your wrist - an unspoken that’s enough.

need grows into impatience, lips brushing his ear as you whisper saccharine words, syrupy sweet and sticky. but toshi has an irritating amount of self-control and your attempts at seduction are met with gentle pats on the head that feel condescending.

but everything has its limit. 

“i want to rub my pussy all over you.” he swallows hard, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat, and his jaw clenches as he turns to look at you. “i’m already so wet. wanna feel?” you hold his hand in your lap as you look at him through long, dark lashes. yes, even his self-control has a limit, and he’s toeing the line. and he knows it’s been crossed when he feels the constraining tightness of his slacks.

minutes later you’re dragging him through empty corridors, checking every door until finally, one opens to reveal a tiny closet. it’s dimly lit and filled with mops and brooms, but it will do. you pull him inside the room by the tie, then keep tugging it down until your lips meet his in a rushed kiss. 

“we should go home.” he doesn’t pull away.

“but we can’t,” your hand curls around the bulge of his chubbed cock, “you’re so hard.” oh, he knows. “you should let me take care of you.” people will notice your absence, his teammates will have an invasion of questions. but all his doubts falter and shatter in the grasp of your soft hands.

so wakatoshi lets you push against his broad chest, inhaling sharply as the backs of his thighs meet a worn-out wooden cabinet. his lips never leave yours. his hands on your neck as he tilts your face towards his. but then you’re moving down again, trailing sloppy kisses down the column of his neck, leaving the collar of his white shirt stained with lipstick and sticky gloss. 

he leans against the cabinet, long legs bent at the knees and then there’s you kneeling between them. biting your swollen lips as you make quick work of his belt and zipper before pulling his pants and underwear down as far as they will go. 

you wrap both of your hands around the base of his cock. it’s so imposing, intimidating even. and you’re never quite sure how you manage to fit it… anywhere, really. so heavy it hangs in your hold. 

but it’s also really cute when it gets all flushed and weepy. “hi baby!” the blush spreads from the apples of his cheeks to the tips of his ears. he can’t understand why you always have to talk to it like that. “aww so leaky,” you coo, “i think you want attention, hmm?”

you kiss along his length, leaving more faint lipstick marks behind. his teeth grind against each other at the feeling. he needs more. and you know it, but you love to tease, love to see him squirm in your grasp. you nuzzle your cheek against the velvety skin, looking at him all doe-eyed. “it’s so soft,” your voice a tender mewl. 

he has to look away from you for his own sanity. but it’s really to no avail because this - the delicate material of your dress draping over concrete, innocent words a contrast to the lewd way you’re toying with him - is an image now burned into his brain. and then there’s the creeping realisation that he likes this. he wants it. 

“just use your mouth,” his voice is strained and hoarse, words clawing their way up his throat, “please.” 

no. you bury your face in his balls instead. tongue flat, lapping and sucking on the sensitive skin before tracing the thick vein on the underside of his cock. then running the weeping tip over your lips that turn glossy with his precum. and finally, finally, you wrap your lips around it, whimper a little as you suckle on it.  

your mouth is so warm, so wet. and his breaths catch between his ribs as you slobber on the fleshy head, his hands gently holding your face. cheeks hollowing out, your spit mixed with the taste of him dripping down the side of your chin. 

toshi’s knuckles turn white as he grips the wooden edge of the cupboard. and whiter still as you move down the length of his shaft. your lips stretching around it. and you look at him, eyes blown with lust and welling with tears as he hits the back of your throat. he thinks he might just cum at the sight of you, so pretty on your knees, so pretty with your mouth full of his cock. barely even halfway in and already struggling as you try to swallow around the girth of it. 

he doesn’t mean to but his hands find their way to your head. fingers tangled in your hair and gripping at the roots. he can’t help how his hips buck all on their own. you feel so good, so divine and he can’t hold back the groans that rumble in his throat when you look at him like that, when the only sound he can hear is you gagging on his size, when he sees your spit dribbling down the valley of your breasts. you feel so good that he doesn’t even realise he’s fucking your throat raw. your nails digging into the meat of his thighs, sure to leave angry, crescent marks. but he’s never felt a pleasure so intense, so consuming that it clouds his mind and makes him relinquish all control over his body. it’s instinctive and primal, this need to feel more of you. to surrender to you.

his thrusts turn faster, erratic. and he’s growling out a string of warnings. “i’m- i’m close. i’m close.” but his hands never leave their place on your head and he buries himself inside your throat completely as he finds release. his cum thick and warm, too much to swallow as you sputter around him. 

beads of it pool at the corners of your lips. and you’re still catching your breath as you drag your thumb across your mouth and then between your teeth to collect those last few drops. 

his head is thrown back, chest heaving and brain fuzzy. swiping a hand through his hair, damp with sweat and sticking to his skin. his state a testament to the power you hold over him. then he’s reaching out for you, every praise that he can think of bubbling in his chest. 

but all that comes out is an almost stern “come here.”

wakatoshi helps you to your feet and holds you close to his chest as gentle fingers wipe away the mascara staining your cheeks.  then he drapes his suit jacket over your shoulders, smoothes the lapels over your chest, envelops you in the scent of his woody perfume. and a few stolen moments in a mouldy broom closet feel something like worship in his arms. 

one hand holding yours while the other rests on the doorknob. “should we go home so you can rub your pussy all over me?” it sounds very different covered in the deep rasp of his voice. and you feel the burn of embarrassment in your ears and the need to hide your face in the creases of his shirt.

“wakatoshi,” you squeal, “you can’t just say that to me!” a deep breath. “but yes.”

for my 🔭 anon <3 it's even later but it's here (again)!

thank you for reading! interaction is very much appreciated! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[burn-before-reading]

Long Ways Away

Bucky Barnes x Reader

connection, reconnection, and a small miscommunication. Bucky will travel however far if it means making you smile

wordcount: 4k

a/n: This was originally written AGES ago (2021) for @wkemeup ‘s 9k writing prompts. I had a different blog and posted one or two fics then ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE WHOLE BLOG. oops 🤷. remade this one and now im back into writing a bunch again so figured i might as well respost it. i had some other bucky fics i never finished writing so who knowsss i might go back and finish them :p

based on the prompt:

Character A calls Character B in the middle of the night crying - something they’ve never done before. They’re several states away. [B] gets in the car without hesitation and drives to wherever they are.

Bucky found himself on the balcony, looking out into the busy New York nightlife. Cars driving through the busy streets. He felt it matched the energy inside the Tower. If he looked behind he would have found Tony chatting away, creating a spectacle and being the center of attention as usual. Sam was playing pool against Scott. Accusing him of cheating by using ants to move the balls around when he wasn’t looking. Steve and Natasha were in the corner chatting away about the last mission. Steve was always a little too focused on work, even when these get-togethers were planned to distract the team from just that.

It was why Bucky needed a break, that's what he would say at least. The reason for this whole party, as much as he hated the whole spectacle. A break from the team. A break from missions. He just needed an out, for now.

It’s at least what he was telling himself.

“Hey Stranger. Found your hiding spot.” He glanced behind and saw you there. Relaxed and leaning against the doorway, a half empty drink in your hand. Smiling like there wasn’t a reason for you to be sad. He smiled back for a second, like he was still going to be here tomorrow.

He would miss you the most.

______

You hadn’t called yet.

He wasn’t too worried at first, the last he heard from you, you had said Steve was planning a mission and you probably would be gone for a while. You didn’t specify what kind of mission. You never did. He hated that.

In all honesty taking this break, full on Move-Into-a-subburb-in-Indiana kinda break, was killing him. It was one of those things he thought he would be fine with. The neighbors were nice. A sweet old lady who was always baking and bringing him cookies and pies. The other was your typical nuclear family. Maybe that was something Bucky would have wanted back in the 40s. Now he’s not so sure.

Bucky’s so called retirement wasn’t that exactly. He wasn’t off the team. It was a break. A long break. A break for some undetermined amount of time, but had currently lasted for almost six months. Time away from the hustle and bustle of city life. Of Avenger life. Steve had suggested it after Bucky had one too many sleepless nights. Giving him time to try and live a life not fighting for something. Somewhere peaceful. He would’ve considered it sooner, if it weren’t for you.

He didn’t know how it had started. The friendship between the two of you. He knows you were the one to first initiate the conversation. It had taken him a while to warm up to you. He’s almost mad at himself that he didn’t keep track of all your interactions. Everytime he heard you laugh. Everytime you sat next to him during a movie night. When Your friendship started bleeding into something else. He felt like the two of you skipped a step somewhere. A line between friends and… something else, something better, started to blur.

You would slip into his room at night right before the nightmares could start. Running your hands through his hair as you softly sung lullabies and old songs. You spent the night more often than not. Fast asleep with your arms wrapped around him. His head delicately tucked into the crook of your neck, arms wrapped around your waist. You both waking up in each other's arms, tangled together in a peaceful bliss.

He knows what ended it. It was his fault. He pushed away.

But Damnit, Bucky did miss you.

At least you called every once in a while. Giving him updates about everything going on at the tower. It was like clockwork, almost. A call springing up at the end of almost every week, updating him on every little detail of Steve's extremely long Disney Movie Marathon. Last update you gave was he just finished the Renaissance era. Swearing on your life that you managed to catch him singing along to The Little Mermaid.

Another time you called just to complain about how bad your sparring session with Nat was.

“I swear someone must’ve pissed her off before it because now I have a stupid bruise on my back and it just hurts all over” you groaned over the phone. he could imagine you lying on the floor in your room. Blankets thrown about and laptop angled so you could still watch Netflix. The thought made him laugh which caused you to respond “Don’t laugh at my misery!”

If it wasn’t a call, you would text, but that was rare. You had confessed early on that you hated texting, but you couldn’t help but send him pictures and videos of the group hanging out. You, Wanda, and Natasha in the lounge watching horror movies. Sneaky photos of Steve asleep in the common area. His favorite had to be when you send a video of Sam spacing out and crashing into a window while flying. He sent back laughing emojis and saved the video.

He never said much about his time away. He got a cat. A little white furball he named Alpine. He sent you a handful of pictures that you absolutely adored.

He would say that the time away has been helping. Less chaos, more calm. He always tried to make it sound like he was enjoying his time away. The neighbors were nice. The place was quiet. He was getting sleep. Enjoying his break.

He was starting to miss the chaos. He was missing you.

He always looked forward to your calls, even though they always seemed to interrupt him meditating, like today. It had been over a month since your last call.

You had changed your ringtone to some upbeat song he honestly couldn’t stand at first but grew on him over time. It couldn’t even finish its first verse before he picked up the phone and spoke with a smile on his face.

“Hey, Y/N. You back from your mission?” He only heard silence back at first, and it scared him. “Doll, are you there?” More silence before he could barely pick up the faint sniffling. “Y/N, are you okay?”

More silence. More sniffling. He was getting ready to call Steve or text him or Something before he heard your voice speak up. A fragile, tear-filled response. It broke his heart.

“I’m Sorry Bucky. I shouldn’t have called.”

Then the line goes dead.

______

“You should go back inside y/n. Go enjoy the party.”

“What's the point of it if the person it's for isn’t even there?” you walk over and lean against the railing so your back is to the view. You stared at the inside for a second before looking at him again. “Excited for retirement?” He rolled his eyes at your half assed joke.

“Its not retirement. Its just, a break.” That made you laugh a little. Your nose scrunched up the tiniest amount and is made Bucky smile. He would miss your laugh.

“It feels like retirement, you bought a house and everything. In Indiana right?”

“Yeah.”

“Kinda far from the tower, don’t you think?” you finished up what was left in your glass and set it on the small standing table to the side of you before focusing your attention back to him.

“That was kind of the point. Somewhere quiet, or well, quieter than here.” He gestured to the city, but part of you felt he meant the team.

______

He doesn’t care that the drive is eleven hours. He doesn’t care that he had to stick his now grumpy cat in a carrier and put her in the front seat. Be doesn’t care that he’s rushed out of his house at three in the afternoon with nothing but the desire to check on you.

He does care that you haven’t answered or returned any of his calls yet and Bucky swears on his life he is going to murder Steve if he doesn’t pick up either. He hears it ring three times before he answers.

“Hey, Buck. Whats up?” Steve says into the phone nonchalantly. It's starting to piss him off.

“What happened Steve.” His voice was cold and his grip on the steering wheel tightened with each second. What happened, what happened.

“Wait what do you mean.”

“Y/N Steve! What happened to her on her mission.” his voice cracked a bit as he tried to keep it together. Something was wrong and he didn’t know what.

“Y/n’s mission? It went fine she got back a while ago and… wait did she call you?” He seemed surprised.

“Yes! Y/N was crying and she just hung up suddenly and…what happened Steve.”

“Nothing. She’s been fine this whole time. It happened a while ago so I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Wait how long has she been back from her mission.”

“Two weeks.”

“Well how was I supposed to know that!” He was getting antsy, wishing this car of his would go any faster.

“I assumed she had already called you. She usually did after every mission but… I’ll go check up on her for you if you want. Let her know you called.”

“I’m already on my way over. Just let me know if she does anything else.”

______

He doesn’t remember how long he stayed out there talking to you. It was more you talking to him. How training went that day, A new movie that had come out that week, Peter coming to you for advice on asking someone out. A dream you had.

He couldn’t help but glance at your arm as you talked. Covered with long sleeves but he knew the scar was still there. Long and jagged, running from your forearm to your wrist. Slowly fading but still ever present. He felt your hand lift his chin up to meet your eyes again.

“Don’t even think of feeling guilty right now.” You teased, but your face showed nothing but sincerity. He gripped the railing tightly and it looked like he wanted to say something, but the words weren’t coming out.

He couldn’t. Not that.

“Do you remember the first time you stayed the night?” You took your hand away and watched him stare off into the distance. “ I felt trapped in my own head, in my memories. I wasn't leaving my room.”

“We share a wall. I could always hear when your nightmares got bad, but Steve was always there for you. But he was gone one day and I… I couldn’t just leave you to deal with that on your own.” Your voice turned to a whisper. Reminiscing on what you two once had. The quiet moments together. Why he stopped them, you only somewhat understood.

______

An hour felt like ten, and the full drive felt like an eternity later. When he reached the tower the sky was now dark, but he didn’t care. It had been far too long since he had been back.

He had Steve talk him through what could have happened.

“It must have been something that happened on her mission, but I can’t pick out anything weird, besides the fact that she insisted on taking this one alone.”

It was a stakeout. Suspicions of an arms deal going on. The plan was for you to just find out who was involved. Collect any information you can. You always sounded bored whenever you talked about it and gave Steve updates.

“Wait, why did she insist on going alone. Those take forever and I doubt she got a reasonable amount of sleep if she was by herself.” Bucky at this point was thinking the worst.

“Nothing happened Buck. She gave updates the whole time. I gave her permission to call you, but from the sound of it she never did.” A realization hit him then and there. The first mission he went on with you alone was a stakeout.

He doesn’t remember what the mission was about. All he remembers is two weeks alone with you. The two of you in a hotel room, spying on… he isn’t even sure anymore. All he took away from that time is he was absolutely in love with you. The way you would talk about Wanda’s crush on Vision at the time and how you kept bugging her to say something. Everytime you tried (and failed) to throw popcorn into your mouth.

By the time Bucky arrives at the tower it's almost three in the morning. Alpine sleeping soundly in the passenger seat. Steve is waiting for him in the parking garage. A concerned look on his face.

“She’s locked herself in her room. She won’t talk to me.” Bucky moves Alpine from the carrier to his jacket, and walks with Steve to the elevators to get to the living quarters.

“Is she even still awake? I got here pretty late.” He glanced at the pajama bottoms Steve was wearing.

“Last time I passed by I heard a show playing, she still might have fallen asleep though. Your room is empty if you wanna get some rest.”

“No.” the Elevator opens up to the all too familiar hallway that now you currently reside in. “I wanna see her now, if I can.” if she lets me. Steve simply pats him on the back.

“You planning on staying a while?”

“I guess we’ll see..” The doors close leaving Bucky alone in the dark hallway. He feels stuck in place. It has been so long since he’d seen the tower. He’d forgotten how much he’d miss this place.

He hesitated knocking on your door. The familiar notch in the wood from when you tried to fire one of Clint's bows. He could hear what sounded like a nature documentary softly playing from the other side of the door.

“Friday?” He whispered.

“Welcome back Sergeant Barnes.” The AI called out.

“Is she awake?”

“Agent Y/N is awake at the moment. Would you like me to let her know you’re here?”

“No, no its alright.” Bucky responded. “I can talk to her.”

He continued to just stare at the door, unsure how to start. He looked down to Alpine who simply meowed at him. Her way of saying to ‘get on with it, I’m tired!’

“Alright, alright.” He nervously chuckled before lifting his right hand up. Three delicate knocks rang through the door.

“I’m fine Steve.” He heard your voice for the first time in person again. Muffled and clearly annoyed, but still perfectly you.

“ Y/n? It's Bucky. Can you please open the door.” The documentary paused. He heard the slight squeaking of a bed and footsteps padding over to the door, till he heard your voice loud and clear.

“What are you doing here, shouldn’t you be in Indiana.” He was surprised by the coldness in your voice.

“What’s going on with you. You called and I got worried. Can you please open the door?” He pressed his forehead against the door, trying to get as close to you as possible.

“I never meant to bother you. Please, Bucky, just go home.” There was pain in your voice and your words. Calling somewhere that wasn’t here his home.

“I’m not leaving till you explain what’s going on. What happened that made you call.”

“...I needed to stop relying on you to fix my problems.” You sighed. Maybe you could tell he wouldn’t leave you alone with just that. “It was a nightmare, okay? That’s all. I can deal with those on my own now.”

“ Please let me in. You know I can help with those.” He whispered through the door. He didn’t know you even got nightmares. “How long have they been happening?”

“Why does it matter to you.” You spat. “I’m not letting you in so you can just… go home”

hesitation…. Bucky thought for a moment.

“I have Alpine. You said you wanted to meet her.”

A moment of silence, and then he hears the lock click open.

______

“I’ll miss you. You know that right?”

You stared at the night sky and he couldn’t help but notice how the lights danced in your eyes.

“You can always call.” he replied.

“Do you know… when you’ll come back?” the hesitation in your voice made him suspect you were going to say “if”. The fear he may never come back.

“I’ll be back, doll. If you ever need me just call and I’ll come running.” The idea got both of you to smile.

“I’d never have you do that for me, but I appreciate the thought.” You laughed before turning your head and staring straight into his eyes. “Just promise me. You’ll come back.”

“I promise.”

Both of your feet took control and suddenly you were now facing each other. In both of your eyes you could see a million words trying to escape. Each of you wanting to say something you didn’t think the other would want.

Stay here

Tell me to Stay

Let me spend one last night with you

Please don’t leave me alone

I love you

I love you

Just let me love you

It felt like you were inches apart. Miles away from the rest of the world. Your hand rose to rest softly on his cheek. He leaned into your touch and closed his eyes. The pad of your thumb gliding across his cheek, the scratchy stubble, till it rested right under his bottom lip. His hands resisted the urge to touch you, the fear of somehow hurting you again, but your touch he relished in. He savoured this moment between the two of you, almost too hesitant to take it any further. Those million words slowly bubbling up to the surface. Falling from his eyes to the tip of his tongue. They tasted like salt. You raised your hand up to swipe something from his face.

Tears. No words. Just tears.

You could taste your own words as well.

“Hey Ms. Y/N - oh Sorry!” The sheepish voice that belonged to Peter spoke out and caused the two of you to draw away from each other. The timeless moment broken. Words gone. Words buried once again. You could tell he felt bad for interrupting what seemed to be a private moment between the two of you.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, it's fine. You didn’t interrupt anything. Did you need something kiddo?” You wiped your eyes and tried to look cheerful. Bucky never understood why you had such a soft spot for peter. He talked too much for his liking.

“Tony said you were out here and… He needed to talk to you about something I didn’t really ask uh.” Peter kept glancing at the now brooding man next to you. “happy retirement Mr. Bucky, Sergeant Barnes sir.”

“It's just Bucky,” He grumbled, “And it's not a retirement. It's just… Tony just started calling it that because i'm old.” You noticed the stiffness in his voice so you decided to break the tension.

“Tell Tony I’ll be inside in a second, okay Peter?” He nervously nodded and shuffled back inside. You turned back to face Bucky. He looked down and away from you now.

Miles apart.

“Gotta go back inside, I guess. Don’t stay out too long okay?”

In a brief second of courage you lifted your hand back to his face, and turned to place a quick kiss on his cheek before walking away and leaving him alone again on the balcony. The feeling of your lips lingered on his skin.

You didn’t see him when he left the next morning.

______

You looked just as beautiful as he remembered. Unbrushed hair and wrinkly t-shirt thrown together with an old pair of sweats. He wanted to wrap himself up in your touch, in your scent, but your eyes gave off a tired and standoffish look. Eyebrows scrunched together. This wasn’t the time, yet.

“Where is she.” You asked. Bucky unzipped his jacket slightly and peeled away one side to reveal a little puff of fur. The door opened wider and you stepped aside to let him in. He took a seat on your bed and let Alpine out to walk around. You sat down and alpine walked over and rubbed her face on your hand.

“Cute..”

“Yeah, she is. There's no cat food in the tower, right? I left in a rush and-”

“Bucky.” you raised a brow at him.

“Right, sorry.” He studied your expression, waiting for you to start.

“Can I ask you something, Bucky?”

“Anything.”

“Am I the reason you left?” Your question left him bewildered.

“Where’d you get that idea?”

“It's just,” you started, “we were so close, and I know I pushed your boundaries a little more than the others, but you seemed okay with it. You even pushed things further so I thought we were on the same page. But after-” you turn your arm to show what's now only a faint line running down your arm, “ -this I, I don’t know. You didn’t just step back, you pushed away. You didn’t even look at me for weeks and then suddenly you say that you're leaving and I-”

Tears spring from your eyes. The million words too much. Bucky grabs your hands and uses his thumbs to rub small circles into your wrists.

The night was one clearly neither of you had forgotten. You had just come back from a mission with Steve and went to Bucky’s room to surprise him, only to find he was having another nightmare. You attempted to wake him up, were met with a sharp pain in your arm. The both of you were too stunned by each other's actions to immediately notice the knife in Bucky’s hand and the stream of blood gushing down your arm and staining his sheets.

You never held it against him, but he clearly did.

“It was a rash decision.” He says, “ I care about you so much, you know that… or I hope you do, but after,” he felt his million words bubbling to the surface again, “After I hurt you, I got scared. I was afraid of making things worse and I didn’t even realize I already had. I left to try and figure myself out. After the first week I knew it wasn’t my thing. I was honestly gonna come right back, but you sounded so happy when you called and, I started to think you’d be better off without me.” His voice grew softer with every word.

“What about your neighbors, meditation. You said you were getting better sleep.”

“Mostly lies. The Nightmares just have become more manageable with time, and I don’t need to leave just to sit on the floor in silence. The only good thing to come from this is Alpine.” he admitted and you released a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“At the party, before you left. You said to ask and you’d come back. There were so many times I thought about it, but you’d talk about how much better you were doing-”

“All lies, doll. Sorry.”

“ - I thought you were better off without me.” he tugs you forward and you let yourself fall into his embrace. You feel each other relax in each other's touch. He rested his chin on the top of your head for a second before placing a kiss on your forehead.

“I’m so sorry I made you feel this way.” You feel his lips move against your skin. “But I’m not leaving you again. Not ever.” You pulled away just to see his face.

“You’re not going back?” He tucked his head into your hair to muffle his laugh.

“Indiana sucks, I’m here to stay, promise. Besides, you said you had nightmares, right. I’m not just gonna leave you to deal with that on your own.”

He leaned over to kiss your tears away causing you to laugh at the feeling. You lifted your head to meet his lips with your own, and for a second the two of you forget the rest of the world exists. You can taste salt from each other’s tears and he feels himself smiling into the kiss, hands going up to cradle your face when suddenly you both hear a Meow.

Pulling away the two of you watch Alpine nudge your thigh as if to say ‘It's my turn for attention!’ The two of you smiling and crying and holding in a fit of giggles as your stare at the little puff of fur meowing at you and clawing at the sheets.

As the laughter and meowing died down, so did your energy, and the two of you settled into bed. It was almost as it was before. His arms wrapped around you. your head delicately tucked into the crook of his neck, arms wrapped around his waist. A small fur ball settled at the foot of the bed. With the promise of a million more words, and a million more nights together.

[bluepaperboatz]

Expressions!! :D

The first 3 faces were random picked, the rest i went on my own

hope yall like it, blue out <3

(i accidentally posted this twice oops, other post deleted)

[miuszn]

Hi ;), how are you? you can make a headcanons of dealer college student Ellie Williams with fem reader, please :)

hi anon !! i rlly rlly love the hcs of college student + dealer!ellie like wow that’s def her .. i have a few hcs so i’m gonna share some of my favs with u !! ( note : i’ve looked for hcs like this before so i might accidentally repeat some that might’ve been posted already !! if that’s the case lmk so i can give credit , it’s never my intention to copy anyone T_T)

dealer!college student!ellie x fem reader hcs

♡ she earns lots of money from it , and i mean like , a lot . ( at least for a college student ) which means she spoils u lots n lots .. whenever ur out w her and u point out something , whether it be a dress or bag or anything else , that u like and think looks super cute , she insists on buying it for u . even tho u tell her every time it isn’t necessary and she doesn’t have to buy u anything , she tells u to not worry and that she does it bc she loves seeing u happy <3

♡ u guys r literal polar opposites . like . super different . everyone was so surprised when u guys said u were dating .. but yk they say opposites attract :)

♡ HATES when u do her makeup but only ever allows it when she’s high .. u take pics of her n show her after n she’s mad embarassed n keeps telling u to delete them but u refuse hehe

♡ gets jealous whenever u smoke without her . especially if it was w someone else . and god forbid she finds out THEY gave u a joint and it wasn’t one of hers .. she likes to say it’s bc u never know what’s other ppl can put in them but truth is , she just takes genuine offense to it

♡ gives u a million discounts .. she likes to call them “ pretty girl discounts “

♡ u loooove tagging along w her when she makes deliveries , but she always makes u stay in the car bc she wants u to be safe

♡ she only ever makes edibles whenever ur baking together bc she can’t bake for shit so she has to rely on u . oops . she can’t even make those brownie mixes u only have to add water and an egg she somehow fucks it up .

♡ when u first started smoking , she insisted u only do it around her so she can watch u and make sure ur safe bc “ people can be dangerous n u never know what can happen “

[jailgarden]

Posting about my ocs since it got deleted…😂

There’s also some grammar errors somewhere that I fixed in the og post, but they got reverted back… oops.

Because of the context I originally posted this, the descriptions are brief summaries of the characters (and intentionally vague at times)

The first group of characters are all from the same world/universe, but the level of connection between them varies.

* Stopped being a lab rat for her psycho cousin to start experimenting on herself before becoming too depressed. She now has a job at a run down laboratory and takes odd jobs to pass the time.

* Cousin’s experiment goes wrong, girl can now travel the multiverse.

* Princess is a star, literally, she will blow up soon. Her two bodyguards have known her since childhood and now watch as she dims.

* Runaway princess(a normal one this time) accidentally acquires genetically made strawberry lemonade berries and starts a strawberry lemonade stand.

* After a robot chip decides to implant in his head, boy gains the ability to be overstimulated constantly. He’s not okay, help.

* Lady who lives outside despite being rich provides high tech gear to the previous guy so he can at least not hate existing.

* Guy travels to a different country, gets thrown in jail, then starts a jail garden.

* Girl gets kidnapped everyday, it’s routine, normal, until the same guy saves her twice in a row.

* Half-dragon girl delivers mail while fighting monsters on route(this is based off of a game, but still part of the same story as the rest of them).

* Girl with amnesia slowly realizes that she’s the cause of a kingdom’s destruction hundreds of years ago… oops?

* Girl from idol group hides her identity as a superhero. Nobody even knows that this superhero exists…

* Technician who works with said idol group lives in the desert with wife and daughter to avoid robot apocalypse.

* Guy who purposely under works to avoid being given larger tasks messes up, and is now promoted to be the team leader of a task force whose primary mission is to prevent a certain star princess from exploding.

* Girl learns that she is actually… not a robot. Nice.✨

* Blueberry space bun girl in high school has access to the military’s armory.

* Girl’s mom marries an actual dragon… Unrelated but she runs off for a while to set people’s souls on fire, literally.

* Drop out college student who insists on wearing sunglasses indoors and standing while in or on any moving vehicle get recruited to a anti-government robot apocalypse group.

* Boy who got bullied grows up to be hot, isn’t interested in anyone.

Not connected (yet) I know my brain will merge them at some point.

* 13 year old girl buys house for a nickel.

* Girl from the past is visited by a time traveler who has gone too far back, and now needs her to go to the future(still technically the past for the original time traveler though😭😅) to stop a specific event from occurring.

* Girl escapes cult and becomes rivals with a girl who is stuck in a cult.

* High IQ cat runs an orphanage.

* Guy pushes the chosen one off a waterfall and takes the magical object to pursue revenge on yet another princess(how many princess characters do I have?)

* Assassin, she makes everyone bleed paint. It’s very pretty!✨

How many times did I say girl?😭

[raevenlywrites]

Hi Raev, I’m a young queer person who’s just discovering what they like. I saw you post about kink recently; if you’re comfortable, do you have any advice on exploring kink/determining if it might be for you? If you don’t want to share I totally understand, maybe you’d just know of some resources?

My best advice is to go slow with your body but fast with your mind. Don't be afraid to mentally try stuff on, to read kinky books, to imagine kinky scenarios. But do be very cautious with actually doing anything physically, bc there are a lot of ways to accidentally hurt yourself (my shoulder will forever be a little jacked up bc when I first started playing, I didn't know the first thing about rope safety. That's an oops that will stay with me forever).

But what's really great is that researching is hot. Reading about the things you like or think you might like can be super titillating, and knowledge is sexy.

I haven't been a beginner in a long long time, so I'm not sure what resources are out there now. But when I was new, I spent a lot of time on fetlife.com (is that still even a thing? idk) and reading reviews and how-tos on various blogs. I also read A LOT of fiction, some better than others (a current fav is Katee Roberts Dark Olympus).

Also, never underestimate the satisfaction that can come from role playing. Write smut, by yourself or with a partner. It doesn't have to be good; its just about exploring what you like in a purely mental place. Don't hold yourself back; know one ever has to know what you wrote but you. You can delete it all when you're done if you like. Just give yourself permission to think about it.

[bestworstcase]

I urgh, made a reblog earlier on your post about The Shallow Sea, asked a question there which you might have seen and then accidentally deleted it (oops!)

Anyway I wanted to ask do you think the fanus’s struggle for equality will be involved somehow in salem’s villian-to-hero arc? Because fanus and salem (and grimm) are just so heavily connected. She actually had a very great chance with sienna but unfortunately adam killed her.

And also if you could elaborate this salem being the god of animals thing, did she actually created fanus or it’s more about symbolic connection?

An additional note which’s just something I found very interesting. In the opening of v6, adam appears as the leader of white fang while the song goes ‘the river knows to reach the sea’. Besides the chronological order goes cinder-adam-the rest of salem’s force. (Added that rising is a salem song)

oh i. i think about salem and the faunus and grimm only a normal amount. there's more that i've written on the topic than that (among others, i have a relevant post about tyrian and his worship of salem somewhere but i cannot for the life of me find it) but tumblr, u know. 

not directly faunus related but the god of choice post is salient because rwby handles divinity in a very polytheist way, and while the recent alchemy post was just for fun it does also lay out the thematically essential death/resurrection element of salem's immortality with more clarity. 

(my other mythology tin hat is that salem was the original inspiration for 'the warrior in the woods') (<- tangent). 

TL;DR: i think she is the literal, though possibly indirect, creator of the faunus (through her combination of human + grimm into own being; the faunus descend from this harmony of opposites in some way) and that at some point in history, she belonged to faunus civilization and the mythical figure of the 'god of animals' arose through a combination of worship of salem herself + stories she told about the brothers in relation to her transformations.

(notice that the god of animals in 'the shallow sea' resembles darkness in character, and the one in 'the judgment of faunus' resembles light, but both versions are also unrecognizable as the brothers because they interact with their chosen people in a reciprocal manner—faunus choose to be changed in both stories. where ozma uses myth to guide humans toward what his god wants them to be, salem used myth to uphold her idea of what the brothers should have been and what kind of gods deserve reverence.)

the narrative has not ever been shy about making symbolic connections between the faunus and the grimm—like, blake reveals her ears for the first time whilst gazing at and identifying herself with the beowolf trampled underfoot by human huntsmen in beacon's statue. the white fang wear grimm masks because "humans wanted to make monsters of us, so we chose to don the faces of monsters." qrow in the faunus WOR episode more or less explicitly describes faunus as in-between humans and grimm.  

(<- which is not necessarily accurate because qrow's narration is chock full of obvious subconscious bias—to the point of straight up saying "honestly, it's not too hard to sympathize" with the perspectives of humans who hunted down the faunus like animals because "seeing something that looks like you and acts like you walk out of a forest and reveal a pair of fangs can be… upsetting" and in no way are we meant to take that as an objective statement; in V1 weiss is unambiguously portrayed as the one in the wrong for hating faunus on the grounds that the white fang is at war with her family's company, a reason that is a lot less shaky than "fangs are upsetting" and yet is (properly) framed as irrational and bigoted.

but qrow's perspective is meant to reveal cultural attitudes, not objective facts, and his overt placement of faunus between humans and grimm is interesting in the context of everything else the narrative does to draw a connection between faunus and grimm)

salem is "your grace" to her followers and ghira is "your grace" as the chieftain of kuo kuana, implying that salem might outright self-identify as a faunus. she wants to secure  sienna khan's alliance (<- a genuine activist) and drops adam (<- a terrorist) like a hot potato after he murders her, she explicitly has no plans to attack menagerie, and menagerie doesn't… seem to have a grimm problem… like at all. zero grimm attacks in kuo kuana across two volumes there and not a single character in menagerie mentions them as a problem.

so rwby is not exactly being subtle. 

generally, i do not think the heavy emphasis put on the white fang arc was solely being overambitious about doing a Racism Subplot; i don't think it's coincidental that the narrative completed the white fang arc and then immediately launched the "salem backstory" arc with the lost fable. the white fang arc sets up for the lost fable and salem's arc is inextricable from the faunus-persecution narrative because she, in every way that matters, IS a faunus herself.

and i think that is very much going to eventuate in V10+ yeah. it's already beginning to—the affirmation of jabber's personhood and overt sympathy afforded to neo and the cat, in tandem with blake's arc in V9 being toward vocally embracing and taking pride in being a faunus as the culmination of her journey out of shame in V1-6 and quiet figuring-herself-out in V7-8, points strongly in that direction. 

[veinsfullofstars]

Kirbtober 2023 Day 31: Final Boss

(ID: Kirby series fanart of Kirby and Ribbon facing off against 02 within the red-and-black space of Dark Star, the Crystal Gun shining brilliantly as they hold it aloft between them towards their foe, who looms above them angelic and terrifying, tears of blood oozing from its single, staring red eye. END ID.)

Kirbtober 2023 prompts by @/paintpanic (link to list here)

Started on 10/07/23, finished on 10/08/23. NOTE: This was originally posted on my deleted account on 10/31/23.

Do your best.

Whew… holy shit. I did it. It’s over. I made it all 31 days. I’m… exhausted, but very proud of myself. Like, looking back over it all now, I can actually see the gradual improvement in my art from prompt to prompt compared to where I was at before. Not gonna lie, it’s awesome to feel like I’ve made some genuine progress for once, y’know? And that’s in spite of getting hella sick and pushing through major fatigue burnout. Man, it’s gonna be weird not having this, like, routine anymore. Doing a piece a day (or roughly so) was very rewarding in a lot of ways… but also draining. Very draining. My hands need a rest badly, and so do I.

(Hi, future Veins here, popping in to say I did not rest as much as I would’ve liked for, you see, I seem to have accidentally muscle-memoried myself. It’s not so much I have a real routine now - more like I need to draw at least a little bit every day or I get antsy. It is… quite the double-edged sword, I must say.)

(Hi, future-future Veins here. Apparently I left rubber banding on this month because burnout has gleefully slammed back into my spine without warning. This is a reminder to myself that longstanding mental nonsense does not go away just because I’m away on vacation in Popstar for a hot minute. How humbling. -_- )

Anyway, thanks for coming with me on this impromptu art journey. I had a lot of fun and a lot of not fun. I hope you all liked the art regardless. Shoutouts to Panic for making the prompt list and to everyone else who joined in with their own amazing pieces in the hashtag. I tried to share as many of them as I could over the month to spread the appreciation around, though I hope you’ll browse the tags yourself to see all of them. You all did absolutely amazing! Whether you made it here with me or only managed a few pieces here and there, I hope the experience was worth something to you. Go have a snack and a well-deserved rest - you’ve earned it. Take care, y’all, and see you in the next one!

Oh, and have a Happy Halloween! (it was halloween when I first posted this, oops...)

[estinininininen]

FFIV, The Native Hue of Resolution, parts 1 and 2 of ?, ao3 link

I accidentally deleted the first part I had posted on tumblr because I confused it with the draft of part 2. Oops. Anyway, that's fine, because part 1 is required to understand part 2. ~2k words, Role reversal, corruption, reincarnation, mind control, loosely inspired by Again by joshuaorrizonte on ao3

Cecil Harvey stood before his closest remaining friends in this second, diminished life.

"All that I have meant to do is protect the crystals. Our legacy," he said, looking them down from his full height. Only Kain Highwind was taller, and as ever lately, Kain stood behind Cecil and did nothing.

"Our legacy," Cecil continued, "and all that remains of what we fought for, and won, and deserved! We-"

Edge's voice cracked like a whip. "Yeah, I know what you meant to do," he said. "What I'm worried about is what you're actually doing."

"That's immaterial," Cecil said, and this was familiar to them all. This was Paladin-king Cecil cooling the temper of Edward the Masked, as he had in meetings and debates at the kings' tables in times of yore.

But something this time was different.

Edge let Cecil know it. "It's very material," he said. "Germane, even, Your Paladin-ness. Refounding Baron and Eblan? Taking land from people who don't even know those names?"

Rydia placed a hand on Edge's arm and looked at Cecil. She had no lack of practice looking up at Cecil with fear and suspicion. She just had never wanted to use it in this life, and so had given him chance after chance after chance.

"Just one thing," she said.

"Anything," Cecil said, smiling and, as always, looking like he meant it. "I have always said I will give you anything in my power I can give."

"I want Kain to say he is under his own thoughts-" Rydia said.

Cecil's brow furrowed, and the dignified little smile intended to soothe turned in on itself in a grimacing flash. "As he has already, many times-"

"Don't interrupt me, Harvey," Rydia said.

Cecil stopped. Emotions warred on his face, carried up by shock.

"I want Kain to say it, to Rosa's face, when you are out of the room," Rydia said.

Rosa nodded. Pale and grim, she had said nothing once they had passed the point of no return with Cecil.

"I can't allow that," Cecil said, mouth closing shut with a click of teeth.

It took a moment for the exchange to ripple through everyone's awareness. They had expected more politicking, more wheedling, more perseverating. Even Cecil himself is a little surprised at how fast he was able to say it.

"What? Why?" Edge said, and then shoved himself in front of Rydia.

Cecil was already casting.

--------------

Kain only vaguely remembered the first time he suspected Cecil wasn't the same man as that last, glorious lifetime. (Well. It had been more glorious for some than others.) They were arguing over something, and in the middle of it Cecil tutted and shook his head.

"Oh, but Kain," Cecil said, "Kain, Kain, Kain. You've always been jealous. You would have ruined it for everyone again this time, and for what? Just to spite me?"

The only emotion Kain could show was the furious clenching of his jaw. He had to hold it together. He wasn't sure why. His tongue worked at his teeth, pushing at squeezing out some truth from his desperate lungs, but he couldn't find the lie in Cecil's words. He was always jealous of him, always had been. Cecil was right. Kain needed to work harder to be a good friend.

For one terrifying second Kain's chin wrinkled like it might before crying tears. He had not felt that way in a long time. His thoughts caught around it, what could be making him upset, and couldn't answer it. Couldn't settle. Would Cecil see the weakness in him, as he might have in their long-ago friendship? Would Cecil reassure him or use it against him?

Would this new Cecil somehow do both? Kain had the dawning realization it had already happened, and often.

Cecil smiled. "Don't forget," he said. "We are our best when we work together."

And once again, Kain's thoughts dipped down beneath the cover of Cecil's comforting, poisoned reminder, that had stung like a bite at the end of a kiss.

------------------

And now he stands behind Cecil like a statue, a golem, a wind-up toy. Like a . . a . . . a pupp-

When did this go so wrong? he thinks.

Rydia's voice drags him out of his stupor. Her voice becomes words in time to realize she's arguing with Cecil. And Cecil -

Denies Rydia?

No, that can't be right. Cecil would never. Even unto a future, reincarnated life, Cecil would have felt like he still owed Rydia. As, deep within, Kain still does.

Something falls out of Kain's heart. It's shaped like the horrified glance of a boy a year younger than him. When they were both still boys pretending to be men, Cecil a dark knight, the kindest soldier in all of Baron, whipping round to shove Kain back from a cringing green foundling.

When did it all go wrong? Kain thinks. He cannot remember if he has thought it before.

They are all moving so fast when he pays attention again. Cecil is saying something to him. Kain cannot answer. His mind is vibrating like a plucked string. It reminds him of something. He remembers the . . . bard? The monk? No, that was in Fabul, when he looked at Rosa and he almost . . . When he first almost . . .

Edge cannot make it past Cecil's protection spell, and Cecil has also slowed them all. Fine spider-silk threads of white magic pull them down just enough to impede. Rosa does not have her bow and Cecil has armor that resists white magic. Kain shudders, and hears his armor rattle like a pail, and is too busy being useless.

Then Rydia finishes casting, steps out from behind Edge, and a light as bright as the sun pours forth from her hands. Kain remembers this magic, first from the Tower of Zot, and then the continuous fighting after that. It is unlike any normal magecraft. He cannot sense magic but his teeth hurt and his mind is about to crack like a overbent bow. He can sense this. It is from where destructive black magic and constructive white magic come close to meeting, as a circle, as the two halves of the whole they are in truth. It mirrors another, white magic spell, its only rival, that nameless deliverance known only by its adjective, Holy.

Rydia whispers, "Meteor," and Cecil screams.

Kain remembers what this did to him last time, and yet he cannot brace for it -

He passes out.

PART 2:

Kain woke up in pain, in body and mind, and even his soul. He didn't have full consciousness yet, more drowsing than awake.

Someone was in his thoughts. Again. Again and again. Beyond the anger he might have had, or the sorrow, he just felt tired. Like throwing up his hands to shrug and say, "Ah, not again."

It was that realization that sparked a bit of hope under his heart. He had never held so much self-awareness before, in Zemus's thrall, either under Golbez or Cecil -

Cecil.

Kain remembered Edge in a private nook of the Lunar Whale, relating to him the story of Theodor Harvey, Golbez, Kluya's elder son and Cecil's brother. Kain's own confusion and regret had fogged up what would have otherwise been an impressive shock. However, only the matters of immediate survival and attack were important to any of them. Still, Cecil could not hide the deep wound it left. In the constant half-dawn of flying through space, as Rydia and Rosa hid in the stairwell, Edge forgave Kain faster than he would have. He needed Kain's help to circle around Cecil's fraying thoughts.

Edge had said to Kain, "It scared him real bad. For a minute all he could say was it could have just as easily been him."

Did that possibility still exist, untold millenia later? When Cecil was not even half-Lunarian in body, but only possibly in spirit? There were always more questions than answers. It seemed they had all moved forward without thinking again, falling right into the motions Zeromus expected of them. Again.

Kain scrunched his face in pain and confusion. "He's waking up," someone said.

He had a more difficult time sorting through if his head was addled when he was conscious, Kain realized with a spike of dread. He was here, self-aware. He had an important tool. He had moments before he woke up and he needed to use them, because he was here and so was someone else. Someone was here with him, in his head, and he could sense them like a neighbor that might be spying. Familiar, but not pressing down on him, like . . .

He started to wake up.

No, Kain thought. No. Tell me who you are.

In a twisting whirl like a shocked animal, the neighbor in his thoughts turned their attention towards Kain and answered him. What? What? Who's there? . . .

Kain was so surprised he almost opened his eyes. He tried to sink back into drowsing wakefulness, but as ever for disappointed dreamers, such thoughts were more defined by change, and not a single state of mind one could return to by command. It did not exist except as transition. Still Kain pulled himself back down, like the peak of a dragoon jump sending him back to earth.

The other someone said, Who I am? I should ask who you are instead. You reached out to me, and no one . . . Their thoughts stuttered to a halt. They looked at Kain again, and this time through his head like clear glass.

Help, Kain said. He struggled. Help. Cecil.

His unknown neighbor, that he knew but didn't recognize, had thoughts that now felt tentative and kind, but slow to react. Their mind crouched low, spooked, as though afraid of Kain as much as Kain was of . . . them, and himself, and Cecil and Zemus and everybody. He thought of Golbez, again, for no reason.

. . . Kain, the neighbor said. What's happening? What's wrong?

Help, Kain said. Rosa was cupping his face, and carding a hand through his hair. Do not wake up, he ordered himself, but he couldn't stop it. The way he was speaking, his thoughts pulling on top of each other with no point, he was about to lose it, lose the unconscious waking and the chance to talk, and he needed their help. He needed it. Help. Cecil. Help Cecil.

Cecil? they said back to him. They hesitated, then gave a sharp but gentle pull at Kain's own head. Kain recognized the insistence. It felt very familiar, but like a secret handshake or tug on his arm given by hands he didn't realize could also be gentle. Cecil's in trouble?

At the exact same moment Kain answered, Cecil. Cecil, trouble. Help Cecil, he recognized the voice.

Oh, shit, he thought.

Wait! Kain-

Kain woke up.

"Oh, shit," he said, and then frowned up at Rosa.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Kain's thoughts stalled like an airship run aground into a swamp. "I don't know," he said. Had he been talking to someone?

Rosa met his frown with one of her own. "Can you follow my finger?" she said. And she followed white mage concussion protocol as dutifully as ever, which put Kain at a bit of ease, although he was still floundering, and wanted someone to pop open his skull and clean out the bilge of his thoughts. Wait, he never used to use so many damn ship metaphors . . .

Although once brothers, there were some major differences between being controlled by Cecil and Golbez.

He hoped having Cecil Goddamned Harvey, Lord Captain of the Red Fucking Wings in his thoughts all the time wouldn't leave too many after-effects, but it seemed that ship had already . . . Fuck.

[v-anrouge]

Hello! 👋 I’m a lurker 🙈

I love Rook too obvi (I mean.. I’m here 🤣) and the other person trauma dumping was.. uh yeah. That was a lot… 😶

But they also said they were autistic, so maybe they just legit didn’t realize you were joking? Maybe they aren’t a follower? Idk. 🤷

Like I’m trying to give the benefit of the doubt because they seemed like one of those people wandering into the wrong classroom like “wait this.. isn’t my homeroom?”

Also you said you have Rook haters DNI interact on your card… but ima be honest. Please don’t hate me. I actually took a legit second to find your card in your pinned post because the text and the link is so smol. 😩 But also I’m blind and dumb sometimes so like don’t mind me too much…

But I DID find it!!! But then I couldn’t find where it said Rook haters DNI. I’m on mobile so maybe there’s a different section that it’s not letting me see??? Maybe THAT’S what happened to them too?

ANYWAY!! I may be a lurker and am just popping up for this so I’m going back down to lurking (aaaa social anxietyyyy) but I love your various posts. I honestly thought that post in question was really funny before all the drama started 😅

Rook going off on long tangents about his much-loved hyperfixations and having time blindness is so relatable help 😭😭😭

Hi nonnie first thank you for warning me about the problems w my carrd! I think ill just make a text and put the link there on pinned then in hopes it will make it easier to see. About the carrd itself i made it on mobile so you're seeing it correctly i just noticed though that a part of my dni is missing, i probaly deleted it accidentally last time i was fixing it so oops that's embarrassing 😭 but to answer they were a follower, they're no longer one because i softblocked and the reason i was so shocked was not because they don't hc rook as autistic since obv it's just a comfort hc i have as someone who also is autistic, but how they said rook was PURPOSELY ignoring social cues like😭😭 that part caught me SO off guard especially as someone who deeply relates to rook, ive had ppl do the same thing to me say that i was just purposely being weird despite knowing i had a difficult time telling what is and what isnt acceptable to say so i simply don't feel comfortable with them in my blog anymore, that trauma dump they had already made me a bit icky but i thought okay maybe they're just joking? because the post i made was clearly joking but clearly they were not (they said it themselves) and rook is one of my ultimate faves and i cant tolerate to see him get mischaracterized, especially not in such extreme manners so yeah they're not coming back but anyways thank you so much for warning me about the pinned thing ill fix it pls tell me if its better for you!

[cyber-neptune]

I had already shared those but accidentally deleted the post oops-

But anyway some old Megasound art, first time I drew Soundwave.

[thesunshineriptide]

“I read your Lamia reader post and it was so good love it. Can i ask for more breadcrumbs with second years this time? I crave more.”

Ooooo second years meet the snake homie? I like the way you think. Also oops accidentally deleted the ask I’m sorry I hope this finds you

You can take off to skin in the cannibal glow

Characters: Riddle, Azul, Jade, Floyd, Jamil, Kalim

Cw// attempted cannibalism, snakes, snake horror, hunting animals, body horror, overblots, snake related warnings

Azul

Azul’s attention first settled on you when you arrived. All of your movements were similar to Jade and Floyd’s, the way you walked and talked and carried your arms, but nothing else about you seemed to match mermen. You had no affinity for seafood, nor for collecting shells. It seemed you avoided him, as every time he attempted to approach, you gave him little to no reaction. He eventually cornered you after he overheard you and one of your first year buddies talking about difficulty in magic analysis.

“Oh? If you’d like, I could always assist with tutoring. You’ll find I’m quite proficient, and a patient teacher.”

The smile you have him sends shivers down his spine today, and he realized that, perhaps, he had finally gotten in over his head.

“No thank you, but I appreciate the offer.” Was your response, voice smooth and calm like the sea.

He gulped, trying to find the courage to try again, only to find that…well, you were ignoring him.

He never felt so slighted and afraid at once, and finally after a few beats of awkwardly hovering nearby, left.

The first time he saw your true form was during his overblot. He’s heard whispers of it before, but hadn’t actually been there when Leona overblotted, so he never saw it.

His frustration with your sinister plan to destroy his contracts left him completely out of his mind, thriving off of instincts and insanity. However, when you snake yourself (literally) around him, trapping down his tentacles and arms in one fell swoop, and hiss into his face, he realizes he made a grave mistake underestimating you. It only grows worse when he hears Floyd yell, “Yamakagashi-chan! Bite him!”

He knows Jack yelled something in return, but all three of his hearts are pumping so fast he can’t hear anything over the rush of blood for a few more moments. You lean in with a wicked grin, large fangs dripping with…something.

Venom, he realizes, causing him to shrink back. He tries to escape your grasp, but finds you only squeeze him more.

“Don’t worry, Jack-kun, Azul himself is venomous. It’s unlikely this will kill him.” He hears Jade say calmly, somewhere near him. And suddenly, Jade’s hands are gripping his shoulders, holding him still as you come closer.

“DO NOT BITE HIM PLEASE, Y/N, I KNOW DAMN WELL YOU WONT STOP AT BITING.” Jack yells

Fear overtakes anger, and he finds the fight leave him. He doesn’t want to be eaten, he doesn’t want to die, he just wants everything to stop, but…

He shrinks down to his human size, limp in your grasp. He can’t move, he feels trapped in his head, but he can feel your grasp loosen and your arms cradling him, supporting under his head. Thoughts flood his mind, swirling like a tempest, but he knows you’re there. He can feel your cool skin against his, the puffs of air against his chest as you listen to his heart.

When he finally awakens, it’s your eyes he meets first. Fear is on his face, but you give him a surprisingly gentle smile and pat his head.

“Good. I was worried that you wouldn’t come around. It would be a shame to see you struck down so young. Now, we have things to discuss, I believe.”

Jade

If anyone knows anything about anyone, it all starts with Jade Leech. The mastermind behind half of the deals Azul makes, the one who knows everyone secrets and everyone’s desires sand everyone’s weaknesses. He isn’t someone you would typically take lightly. Well, maybe everyone else wouldn’t, but you seem to be entirely too comfortable around him.

As he approached with Floyd, you don’t bat an eye. You’re rather tall as well, so it’s not as though you have to look up at him. And aside from that, there’s a certain…

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Jade Leech.”

“Hi, Jade Leech. I’m late for class.” You say, quickly dismissing yourself from his attempt at conversation.

It leaves everyone nearby dumbfounded for a moment, staring after you.

After that, there were often instances of him appearing near you, ready to engage in conversation, only to be brushed off carelessly. This only made him more determined, going from mildly amused at the new behavior to frustrated.

“Do you dislike me, Y/N?” Jade asks pleasantly, after having approached you from the side.

You turn to face him, one eyebrow raised, “I don’t have any feeling toward you, Jade, was it? I simply have no time for beating around the bush. Do you dislike me?”

Jade contemplates for a moment, trying to sort his thoughts at such a blunt reaction, “I suppose not.”

“Great, then I have places to be.”

Jade first sees your form before the other first years. He saw it two nights after you arrived, when he went out for a stroll during the night.

He wandered near the ramshackle dorm, taking in the fresh night air, when he heard a rustling near the run down garden nearby.

Turning, he caught a glimpse of something he shouldn’t have. There, crouched in the bushes, was a long, scaly tail.

He inched closer, finding a discrete area to hide but still observe. He watched, suprised to find one of your kind. He thought they had gone extinct long ago.

Adorned in a crown, reaching into the bushes, was you on your hands and knees. There was mud covering your arms up to your elbows, and smeared across your face. Ah, yes, it had been raining not long ago.

He watched as you pulled a rabbit from the bushes by its hind leg, eyes dilated in slits, watching. There were frantic chirping calls from the bushes of at least one other rabbit. They sounded young.

Jade took a step back as he realized what you were doing, only to cause one of the floorboards of the Ramshackle dorm’s front porch to creek.

You looked up, letting out a soft hiss. Your suprise caused you to drop the rabbit, leaving it to run off. Jade saw the whole family run off from the corner of his eye.

You approached him, slithering up. You looked both beautiful and disgusting as hell, covered in dirt and mud with leaves in your hair and crown, but your scales glittered in the moonlight.

Jade stood perfectly still, forcing himself to stay calm. He refused to flinch as you approached and grabbed his arm.

“You…” you said quietly, “Not supposed to be here.”

“I apologize for my intrusion.” Jade said evenly, trying to keep his tone pleasant, “I was merely curious as to what you were doing.”

“Wayward child.” You muttered, “Don’t you know what happens to wicked boys?”

Jade let out a soft clicking sound, a warning to you to unhand him. His gaze turned dark, glaring harshly. “Remove your hand.”

“Leave.” You demanded, doing as he asked, “Do not return here.”

Floyd

Floyd was interested pretty quickly. Someone as tall as him, just as seemingly strong as him, and you tried to bite people? He loves biting people! You two should be best friends!

It seems you had other ideas, since you never seemed to give him the time of day, but that didn’t bother Floyd. In fact, it seemed to encourage him.

“You remind me of a snake.” He said one day, “I could call you sea snake, but that nicknames already taken.”

“You could call me by my name.” You said dryly, not looking up from your homework, “Or not at all.”

“That’s no fun. Let see…I think I’ll call you Yamakagashi-Chan!” He said proudly, leaning closer to you, “We’re gonna be BFFs forever.”

You sighed and closed your book, turning to face him, “What will it take for you to leave me alone?”

“Twenty Madol?” He said jokingly, “Or a really good squeeze~”

He failed to specify who would be doing the squeezing. This lead to him in the infirmary room with little hearts in his eyes. Oh yeah. You’re not escaping him.

He first saw your true form after Jade but still before Azul. Jade had, naturally, told him of some weird going ons related to you, but hadn’t specified exactly what he saw.

“Yamakagashi-Chan!” Floyd called out, running to you down the hall, “Wait up!”

Whatever had been happening, it stopped. Your first year friends ran off, avoiding Floyd like the plague, leading you to sigh and turn to glare at him. “What do you want, Floyd?”

Floyd slowed down, smiling wildly at you, “I heard you picked up a heavy ass crate with one hand the other day. You’re really strong, right?” He didn’t wait for a response, grabbing your arm to tug you along, “I’m bored, I wanna play. Let’s go swimming!”

You wrenched your arm back from him, huffing, “I was doing something.”

“And now you’re doing something else.” He said plainly, “C’mon, I heard from Jade that you’ve got this freaky snake form, right? I never get to play with people when in my normal form.”

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms, “Your normal form?”

“Mhmm.” He said, “‘m a moray. And you’re a snake. Now let’s go swimming.” He said, grabbing your shoulder and tugging you along like a child in a toy shop.

Out of curiosity more than anything, you followed him. He lead you to Octavinelle, through the whole dorm, and to the salt pools (or opening to the rest of the ocean). He wasted no time shoving you in and following suit.

With a splutter and spitting out the water, you grumbled. It took you a few moments, but you eventually saw something approaching.

A giant green moray eel. Or, upon inspection, Floyd.

“C’mon!” He said excitedly, “Transform! Or I’ll squeeze ya~” he let out a shrill little giggle, swimming around you in circles.

Begrudgingly, you transformed into your true form. Maybe you’re a kind of snake that can swim, or maybe you’re one that just floats on the surface, but either way, Floyd is delighted and promptly winds himself around you, locking your tail in his. This is the best day of his life, as far as he’s concerned, and it’s infectious. Has anyone ever been this happy to see your true form before? You can’t recall anyone being so enthusiastic.

Jamil

Jamil is doing his best to avoid you like the plague. He’s heard rumors and stories of you and your kind in the past, and has no interest in crossing you nor befriending you. It seems, truly, best to simply not be near you.

However, Kalim had a different idea, and was doing his best to befriend you, meaning forced proximity was bound to happen at some point.

It’s not hard to sense how uncomfortable he is around you. He avoids eye contact, he flinches back when you come closer, he goes as far as to look at you at all.

“Jamil Viper,” you say smoothly, standing close beside him as he cooks, “You seem so uncomfortable near me. Do I scare you, child?”

He finally turns to glance at you, face calm, “Why should you scare me?”

You hum in amusement, leaning down. Brushing the bangs from his eyes, you lean down to stare deep into them. “I don’t know, why should I scare you, Jamil?”

He shudders and flinches away, eyes going downcast. He grits his teeth and turns back to chopping vegetables, “You may be friends with Kalim, but we are nothing of the sort. I don’t trust you in the slightest, so if you decide to get a hankering for my master’s meat,” he says, holding up a kitchen knife, “Your kind will go extinct.”

You laugh a little, leaning back, “My, my. Quite the threat to make against me.” You push away the knife easily with pen finger, “I have no interest in eating him. There’s plenty of Asim relatives more worth that effort.” You joke, “Though, I am quite surprised at you. And here I thought you would be the type to revere royalty, yet you threaten me so?”

His face goes pale as he stares, gaping. He then hardens his expression, again turning back to his task. “I am loyal to my master. No one else.”

With a hum and a pat on his head, you turn to leave, “Good answer, Viper. I think we’ll get along just fine.”

Kalim

Kalim has no notions of you being dangerous, all he sees is a friend. A friend who’s a little aggressive, but that’s not really new, Floyd and Rook are like that too, so it’s not a big deal! You’re just a little different, and he can hold space for your eccentricities.

He first approaches you with an invitation to a party in Scarabia, extended to your first year friends of course (who all immediately pressure you into saying yes.)

“I would be honored, Kalim.” You say, smiling wide at him, “Do I need to bring my gracious host anything in particular? I know it’s quite impolite to arrive empty handed.”

Kalim waved it off, “Oh, no, it’s fine! Just bring yourself and your good spirit!” He grinned, “Jamil should help cover everything like food and stuff. Oh, he’s a great cook, you’ll love it!”

You let out a low chuckle and nodded, “I appreciate this, Kalim. I’ll be sure to make your party. I’m positive my little first year group will be gracious toward you.”

Jamil and Kalim see your true form at once, much in the same way that Deuce and Ace did. During an overblot. This time, it was Jamil’s overblot, and the fear of your true self made his concentration on others crack quite a bit. Several students managed to run, free of his mind control, directly out of Scarabia.

“Eheheh~ Yakamagashi-chan isn’t messing around now!” Floyd grinned, “I love seeing them like this~”

“Fufu, it certainly is a sight.” Jade agreed.

Kalim stared, admiring the scales adorning your body with glee. He reached out to touch your tail, but quickly recoiled when you let out a soft hiss in warning.

Jamil made eye contact with you, and nearly forgot what he was doing and why. You glared back at him, daring to use his signature spell against you.

In the end, you won. Don’t ask how, because nobody present wants to speak of it.

Riddle

Riddle had heard of you from his freshman first. He was curious, since you seemed so very…different. Tall, but not nearly as mischievous as the twins. Regal, but not as formal as Malleus, or as spoiled as Leona. Sharp, and powerful, but you never seemed to display it often. Quite the enigma.

You met him pretty soon after enrolling in NRC, since Ace and Deuce we’re firmly under your wing and also in your dorm, eating all of your food without a care.

Riddle made first contact after hearing that his students fled to you. He found you specifically when the braincell duo wasn’t nearby, carrying two to-go cups of earl grey tea, steeped to perfection and handled with care.

He approached you, nodding, “Ah, hello. I’m Riddle Rosehearts, Housewarden of Heartslabyul. I’ve been meaning to find you.”

You looked up over and gave a little smile, “Oh? A pleasure to meet you, Riddle Rosehearts, Housewarden of Heartslabyul. Is there something I can do for you?”

He shifted from foot to foot and cleared his throat. “I’ve been meaning to thank you for looking after my students, and I brought you some tea as a token of my appreciation.” He said, thrusting a cup out to you, “My housewarden insisted I speak to you in person.”

You took the cup, chuckling softly in amusement. “Thank you for the tea, Riddle Rosehearts. And I simply could not leave a child unattended.” You said, sending him a beat of side eye, “Neither should you, for the record. You never know what could happen. You wouldn’t want something bad to befall them, would you?”

“Certainly not.” He said, eyes cast up, “Had you not taken them in, I would have found an arrangement for them. I’m nothing if meticulous.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” You hummed, sipping the tea, “You strike me as spirited.”

“Oh?” He asked.

You nodded, then turned to look down the hall. You paused, then turned back to him, “Ace and Deuce are approaching, which I believe is your cue to leave. Thank you for this talk, Housewarden.”

Another one who’s first sight of your true form is during his overblot. He is beyond terrified of the fact that you’re a fucking snake, and also that you’re apparently trying to eat him. He’s squirming and thrashing against you, trying to smack anything he can reach, but it’s a little hard when he’s essentially the size of a mouse against you.

“Stop!” He yells, “Let me go!”

Your eyes are trained on him, squeezing him tight. There’s a hissing clicking noise, and he can see black invading his vision.

When he wakes up later, you’re back to the way you were before, and he nearly thought he’d dreamt it, but he did indeed overblot. It sinks him further and further away from his carefully cultivated self, and he breaks down, sobbing.

Your arms encase him, and he sobs into you, tears running down your cold skin as he soaks your shoulder.

“It’ll be alright, child. You’re spirited, you’ll recover.”

[vidreview]

VIDEO ESSAY ROUNDUP #6 [PART 2]

[originally posted august 1st 2024 NOTE: while migrating the archive from cohost i've discovered that tumblr has a 10 link-block limit, which means i have to split some of these roundups up in order to maintain the embeds. we love websites don't we folks]

"New Zelda isn't Zelda" by Eroymak.

it's novel to see one of these shot in the mountains! vibes like a younger, ganglier nakeyjakey. i like to imagine that there's an escalating war of spectacle happening between white outdoorsy middle-class nerds all trying to one-up each other by casually filming an otherwise anodyne video essay in increasingly precarious locales. how long until a 22 year old DJ from Wisconsin dies on the slopes of Everest trying to film an essay about Mario 1-1? who's going to be the first human being to levy a citation-heavy critique of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead while skydiving? how long until Shiey accidentally loses Jacob Geller down an abandoned mine shaft? anyway, Eroymak is extremely correct here about what makes modern Zelda games a drag, namely that their "go anywhere do anything" attitude ruins the sense of progression that once defined the franchise. i worry about this with the upcoming Echoes of Wisdom, which seems to be applying the Of The games' open toolset philosophy to the 2D Zelda template, but i digress. for being only 7 minutes and 20 seconds, this is a pretty succinct and broadly comprehensive summation of why the open world Zeldas lack a certain magic that was once so easily flaunted by their forebears.

"so that's why they cut all her scenes from the movie" by CinemaStix.

i've seen CinemaStix videos in my recommended feed multiple times and avoided them like the plague. i mean, come on. "CinemaStix"? at a glance this conjures a monstrous Third-Way chimera betwixt CinemaSins and CinemaWins, and i would sooner stave my own head in with a rock than give such a thing the time of day. EXCEPT… Constantine 2005 is one of my favorite comic book movies. i saw it in theaters and it changed me. in the years since, i've defended Constantine's honor from the haters to little avail (thankfully the tides have turned in recent years and people are realizing that they totally missed the second-best John Wick movie), and it's top of my list of fun movies to show guests when we're bored. this special interest overrode my kneejerk book-cover judgment survival mechanism, and i'm so mad that i don't regret it. this video is about the editing of Constantine 2005, and how many of the film's iconic moments were constructed in post. as the title suggests, a substantial amount of time is spent trying to understand why an entire character was ultimately cut, a question that's also plagued me ever since watching the deleted scenes on the DVD in 10th grade. whether you've seen Constantine 2005 or not, this is an excellent portrait of editing as a substantive authorial process. i've since gone and watched multiple CinemaStix videos, and god damn it, these are some quality essays. sometimes popular things are good, she said grumpily.

"Conservative Comedy Ruined My Life" by Big Joel.

oops, can you tell this vidrev roundup has been sitting in my drafts for a long time? this video came out on April 2nd of 2024 and has nearly 2.5 million views, so i won't belabor the point. this is a great deconstruction of conservative comedy that looks hard into why so much of it sucks beyond the empty platitudes endemic to smarmy liberals. it's some of Big Joel's best work in my opinion.

"On Online Entitlement" by CJ The X.

an excellent autopsy of the rhetorical implications of an overly familiar instagram comment-- a description that i know probably sounds obnoxious, but genuinely is not the case. Mx. The X goes to great lengths to assure us that this is not about the person who left the comment, but the various attitudes and assumptions that are implied in its construction. gen z essayists in particular seem to specialize in this sort of editorial post-game breakdown of the things people say when they think they're saying something else, and i think they're always worth paying attention to. consider this something of a downstream epilogue to Shannon Strucci's seminal Fake Friends series. even as i don't always agree with the totality of their conclusions, i do always come away from CJ The X videos feeling like i've learned something about how i and other internet-dwelling social animals think.

"How Uber Is Destroying Food Delivery" by More Perfect Union.

More Perfect Union is not typically in the business of video essays, focusing more on feature stories that heavily rely on interviews and on-the-ground reporting. this one's a unique development in that it is just straight up a video essay, using the business model of Uber as an avenue for understanding Corey Doctorow's theory of platform decay (except he calls it Enshittification because god forbid 21st century materialist philosophy grow out of its twee blogosphere adolescence). if you know the theory then there's probably not gonna be much here that surprises you, but i felt it a notable inclusion nevertheless.

do you have recommendations for video essays i might not have seen, new or old? well my askbox is open and i'm always looking for ways to penetrate my experiential-algorithmic youtube bubble. hope you found something enjoyable in this collection, see you in the next one!

<- ROUNDUP #5