#i actually have some core memories around this fic like i think it was the first time i ever heard about “for voldemort and valour”

[ruvviks]

it's been a hot sec since i've talked about cyberpunk and i was initially working on a fic that would tell the story of this whole thing, but i've abandoned it many months ago and cannot say when i'll be picking it up again SO! i've decided to instead make this timeline. sorry in advance for how much information is in this thing the cyberpunk extended blorboverse essentially refers to the story parallel to the in-game events of cyberpunk 2077 that @mojaves and i came up with. we don't really have a better name for it but at this point the term has been used so many times that i feel like everyone here knows what it is by now, but at the same time we've never really explained the full scope of what the story is by now (it's a lot sorry). so in an attempt to get you guys a little bit more up to date with it all, here's a semi coherent timeline that describes the core events of the story and every branching story that came out of it! for additional background information, you can check out the following posts (timeline 1 / timeline 2 / timeline 3) to catch up with the continuation of the in-game storyline that's referenced in this timeline, but it's mostly irrelevant to everything here save for a couple of referenced events that cross over between the stories. it all ties together very intricately sorry about that. don't worry too much about it i've included my taglist down below to make sure people who are interested won't miss this post, but feel free to skip over this if it's not your thing! won't be doing a lot of this kind of stuff in the future but i'm trying to get back to the cyberpunk roots so this is kind of like, a good starting point and reference point for later posts!

The story starts in early 2077 and is centered around Sebastian Vidal, gang leader of the Cobras and previous test subject of Arasaka Special Programs (the linked page is a lot of information but gives the most coherent overview of what the branch actually is). The current director of the SERPENT projects, Andrew Colton, and Dr. Alana Cartier, both want him dead, to tie up their last loose end before the rest of Arasaka can find out and shut down Special Programs once and for all.

Over the past months they’ve been hiring various assassins in secret, to try and get Seb killed; however, these assassins keep failing, and their latest attempt lies in the hands of Cassidy Shaffer, an ex-corpo turned assassin with a strong moral code and plenty of experience to his name. With little to work with, as his mysterious client doesn’t give out much information, Cassidy starts with what he thinks is gonna be a quick and easy job– but he ends up hunting after Seb for essentially a year.

During this year, the two men have a series of wild encounters that get more and more insane the longer it goes on; it includes, but is unfortunately not limited to, Cassidy biting off a chunk of Seb’s ear, the two of them running over the highway, the two of them getting handcuffed together and chased by the NCPD then hit by a car right in front of the hospital, and Seb sensually licking blood off Cassidy’s face after having stabbed him when Cassidy wanted to strike at a concert Seb is visiting.

All of it comes to a sudden stop when Cassidy learns his client has been lying to him the whole time, and since he does not appreciate lying clients he ends up jumping sides and teams up with the Cobras to do some cleanup duty in Arasaka Special Programs. He and Seb work together to go after a list of targets to get the still ongoing projects mostly to a halt, while remaining in the shadows themselves as to not draw too much attention their way; and during this collaboration they meet several people from their past, bringing back both good and bad memories.

One of these people is Hanan Chisaka, the Head of Security at Special Programs. She ends up becoming the next test subject of Project Cobra after the last successful subjects, Xavier and Gabriel Mason, end up escaping in the midst of the chaos of Hanako Arasaka’s capture in mid-2077. Once Seb’s best friend and Cassidy’s mentor, she’s now forced to hunt the both of them down; but in their final confrontation she snaps out of the controlled mode Arasaka keeps her in and runs away with them, effectively leaving Special Programs without any test subjects. Another one of these people is Reid Bennett, Cassidy’s ex and ex-coworker back at MaxTac. He still works for the corporation and has been on an ongoing investigation into Arasaka Special Programs; seeing Cassidy alive and well, working together with Seb no less, piques his interest and he continues to look further into the case, which will cause him to make a very big mistake later on in the timeline.

By September 2078, Seb and Cassidy have successfully taken down all their planned targets and retreat back into the shadows, leaving Special Programs with many losses and no test subjects. With the APEX program discontinued a month earlier (incident discussed in this fic, which is a continuation of the in-game events), and Hanako Arasaka recovered and ready to take the corporation back from the hands of her corrupt brother, Special Programs ends up having to retreat for the time being, and cook up a new plan in the background.

Special Programs by this point is run by Andrew Colton, Alana Cartier, and Kaida Akiyama, three players who have been in the game for a long time already in the SERPENT projects’ runtime. Colton and Cartier are married– Cartier used to be married to Seb and cheated on him for a good amount of time when he was still at Arasaka– but their marriage is starting to fall apart. Akiyama has had to watch over Special Ops agent Ambrose Hawthorne for a while during his chase after the Mason twins, which ended up with the twins dead and Hawthorne going into early retirement (Arasaka doesn’t know the twins faked their death and Ambrose is now dating one of them lol), and xe is now determined to help Colton and Cartier get Seb back into Arasaka so the projects can continue.

Cassidy’s initial plan was to leave as soon as the collaboration would come to an end, but he has found his place with the Cobras and instead ends up officially joining them.The next chapter in the story is a more laid-back and easygoing chapter, in which Cassidy learns to be part of real life again, and in which Seb learns to let people get close to him again after spending years trying to convince himself he doesn’t need any help. Over the course of a little over a year (all the way to November 2079), the two grow even closer than they had already done, going on gigs together and, you guessed it, slowly but surely falling in love until they inevitably end up together at the end of it.

Not long after the two get together, Reid returns into Cassidy’s life. He wants to try and be friends again and Cassidy gives him a second chance, though this soon enough turns out to have been a mistake, with Reid trying to create distance between Seb and Cassidy and then going as far as trying to sell Cassidy to Kang Tao (one of the few corporations that have been hunting Cassidy down for a while now) in exchange for his own freedom from MaxTac (where he would have otherwise been stuck at for probably the rest of his life). Naturally, Reid can’t watch Cassidy get tortured for long and leaks his location to the Cobras, who find and free Cassidy and take Reid into captivity instead– he does not get killed, but instead has to sit out some time at a safehouse somewhere in solitude, where he gets to decide what kind of person he wants to be in the future.

This brings us to Elysium; a gorgeous spaceship which was supposed to be a relatively cheap escape from reality for everyone who wanted a refreshing break from Earth, but through Arasaka sponsorship has become just another cash-grab project to compete with the Crystal Palace– and considering the megacorporation has its greasy hands all over it, the secret labs in the spaceship are used for a series of very unethical experiments. Naturally so, it would be the perfect place for Colton to continue his SERPENT projects without the risk of Hanako Arasaka finding out and shutting the place down. He sends forces up to Elysium (obviously after his other attempts at relocating the project to space have failed tremendously, having lost contact with every single crew in the smaller Arasaka stations in orbit around the planet), but since he’s not there himself his cousin (one of the CEOs of Elysium), Maxwell Crane, unbeknownst to Colton, takes control of the SERPENT projects in space instead. From the earlier linked Special Programs page: “Project Eryx used the technology of previous projects, but took a completely new approach in the hosts it used; rather than focusing on the human psyche it attempted to create a new type of cyborg which would lack the humanity that caused previous projects to fail. The Cobra chips were no longer used and the software was instead installed directly onto the host’s mainframe. The flexibility of the new hosts– more robot than human, and in some cases the entire human aspect was lacking altogether– allowed for experimentation with highly advanced cybernetic enhancements and military grade tech and upgrades, turning the test subjects– dubbed ‘prototypes’– into dangerous, unstoppable killing machines.”

Things settle down for Seb and Cassidy, but this moment of peace does not last long. In January 2081 the two find themselves traveling to the spaceship Elysium, to investigate a curious situation in the laboratories– they’ve been hired by Arasaka without their knowledge and it’s a setup to get Cassidy killed and Seb back in Cartier’s control.

While in space, they learn that the secret labs have suffered an outbreak of the above mentioned prototypes. They quickly connect the dots and realize Special Programs is back in the game, and they work together with security guards Aubrey Valentine and Leon dello Russo to try and fix the situation before it gets out of hand. Obviously this fails tremendously and Elysium ends up on a complete lockdown after a ship-wide outbreak, which is eventually contained in late March of that year, with CEO Maxwell Crane dead, leaving only his wife Kinsley Osborn behind.

Elysium continues to exist and is rebuilt after the crisis, and Kinsley Osborn can now finally turn it into the retreat it was always meant to be. Previously, most Elysium employees were to be stuck in space for the rest of their lives; however, with Arasaka out of the picture they are free to leave as they please, which results in a gigantic cut in total employee count in the months that follow.

Seb and Cassidy return to Night City and take Aubrey and Leon with them. Aubrey reunites with his sisters; Becca, James, and Rikki, and soon after his return to the city he opens an LGBTQ+ nightclub called Bodytalk with them, found Downtown, City Center, in June 2081. Not only is it a fun place to hang out at, it’s also his main hub as a fixer, and he starts a collaboration with the Cobras to get business going between the gang and the club; and soon enough it grows into a large and powerful network of connections, which is the foundation on which the rest of the stories are built.

After this point in time, many many more things happen but it would take me another hour or ten to go into full detail of all of that, so instead here’s a quick rundown of some of the other things that Bodytalk gets involved in:

Reid Bennett is handed over to Aubrey and he starts working at the club, and he becomes a very valued employee as well as a good friend to many now that he’s no longer fucking insane

Kaida Akiyama returns from Elysium and shows up to Hanan’s doorstep, to ask for her help with getting out of Arasaka for good; much later on, xe starts working for Bodytalk as well, in an attempt to put xyr past behind xem and become a better person

Urban Dynamite starts performing at the club regularly, and it becomes their home base

Luna Serratos, Cassidy’s ripperdoc friend from all the way back to killing era, gets involved in the Harbinger case from Maelstrom (one of the gang’s most feared members); turns out the Harbinger is in fact Reuben de la Rosa, a by then 22-year-old kid who has ended up in Luna’s care with his friend Noah Telavera after the two got caught up in an explosion. She requests the Cobras’ help with getting Maelstrom to let Reuben go

Officer Michele Diaz from Militech (who used to be Cassidy’s boss) is demoted following the lawsuits after the Elysium incident, and her investigation into the incident in hopes to get her job back leads her to Bodytalk; she begins threatening them and sends the whole club and their allies into uncertain times

Many people get married. There’s so many fucking guys here we went a little insane with the numbers but there’s several weddings and there’s a whole polycule going on too feel free to send asks about this if you’re interested

Cobra Cybernetics releases a new line of cyberware, which is incredibly buggy and dangerous to the public; it’s brought to the club’s attention and it makes them realize that Luiza Vidal (Seb’s sister), who not that long ago asked them to kill her husband (William Colton (Andrew’s brother), CEO of Cobra Cybernetics), has gone missing; they now need to get involved without getting the news out that they actually didn’t kill William and that he is still alive somewhere, while also balancing out dynamics between Biotechnica (angry at Cobra Cybernetics for stealing their designs) and Arasaka (the actual reason why Cobra Cybernetics’ designs look like Biotechnica’s designs, because William stole designs from Special Programs after halting their partnership after the Elysium incident, but these designs had been stolen by Arthur Jenkins from Biotechnica even BEFORE that to be able to hijack the European Space Council’s cybernetics following the Frankfurt incident. Are you still with me)

Vitali Dobrynin (fixer and main character from the in-game events storyline and the continuation of it; Vincent “V” Mayer’s boyfriend) ends up visiting Bodytalk after meeting Aubrey at a Fixer Council meeting, which happens in late 2083; this essentially ties the two main storylines together, which means that yes, a lot of the characters from the two separate storylines end up meeting :]

Officer Ulysses Dimakos (used to work with Reid at MaxTac) is sent to investigate Bodytalk following the Cobra Cybernetics scandal, and ends up teaming up with the club to get MaxTac on a dead trail in exchange for his freedom of the corporation

On top of the Bodytalk / Cobras centered storyline, there’s a couple of side stories that are still connected to the whole thing but are more of a standalone thing with only a few touching points to the rest of it all:

This obviously takes place a lot earlier because it’s already mentioned above, but Special Ops agent Ambrose Hawthorne is tasked with chasing after the escaped Mason twins; naturally he lets them go and ends up going into retirement, and Xavier Mason later on ends up becoming Bodytalk’s part-time repair guy on account of knowing Kaida

Gabriel Mason ends up in a car crash with retired security specialist Ames Ortega, who was also in Elysium during the incidents there, and the two end up babysitting Ambrose and Xavier’s kids together while those two are helping Hanan with getting Kaida out of Arasaka (Are you still with me. Blink if you can hear me)

Mercenary Frankie Sayyad gets a promotion from his fixer, Vulture (real name Diana Crane, Maxwell Crane’s older sister and cousin of the Coltons), and becomes one of her Bloodhounds; he works together with Evelyn Harris, Nimue Nkuna, and Beckett Rydel, the latter being one of the very first test subjects of Arasaka Special Programs, and the four accidentally get themselves mixed into a mystery concerning their secretive fixer

Caleb Harris, ex-security at Biotechnica, ends up back at Club Bodytalk not long after the conclusion of the Cobra Cybernetics scandal, and starts working for Aubrey; he is partnered up with Ramiel Al-Masri, a mercenary who has been working for Vitali Dobrynin for a while and has recently joined Aubrey’s mercenary roster too, and together they dive into a series of gigs neither of them had expected

Journalist Bodhi Shankar has finally found more evidence and information surrounding the mysterious cult gang Umbra and its so-called Prophet, Thiago Salazar; however, his antics have led to him accidentally becoming part of the gang himself, and he has to figure out a way to get Thiago to stop listening to the supposed deity that the gang worships known as Scintilla, before she makes him do things that will get many people killed

taglist (opt in/out)

@velocitic, @deadrlngers, @euryalex, @ordinarymaine, @gurathins;

@mojaves, @shellibisshe, @dickytwister, @mnwlk, @rindemption;

@ncytiri, @calenhads, @noirapocalypto, @florbelles, @radioactiveshitstorm;

@strafethesesinners, @fashionablyfyrdraaca, @aemondtargeryen, @radioactive-synth, @katsigian;

@estevnys, @elgaravel, @aezyrraeshh, @carlosoliveiraa

[tommarvoloriddlesdiary]

Is No Glory Voldemort snake faced?

i think it starts that way, yes 👍 but then he regains his human-like appearance 🤔

[emdeerm]

Past saves Present

Og fic ig

In some cultures, it is believed that children are able to remember bits of their past lives till the ages of 3-5.

For Danny, the opposite was true. He got his memories at exactly the second he turned 5.

And he had to promptly dodge the blade of the boy in front of him.

His brother, his mind supplied. His twin.

Danny stopped swinging his own sword, focusing on dodging and avoiding the fate of being a slashed pillow. His new/earned skills especially helped with that greatly as his head was seriously trying to re-kill him.

"I yield," he rasped as he jumped away from his brother and looked at their Mother. "My head hurts, Mother," he added pitifully.

His twin looked slightly concerned for a second, before schooling his face in a way Grandfather has been teaching them.

"Tch." But he did put away the blade before their Mother, said a word.

"Dynial, Damian, you are not to stop until you have received permission in the future."

The boys nodded. Mother took their hands and led them out of the private training ground back to their rooms.

Danny spent the rest of the day lying down, slightly feverish and miserable as his brain was processing and acclimating the new set of memories. Clockwork said it wouldn't be too bad. We'll, the clock bustard has been wrong. It fucking sucked.

His brother was hovering. Their Mother was always around, not letting anyone into their space. Ra's is being kept in the dark.

A peaceful rest was all he needed for his brain to finish sorting out new information. And Danny was stuck in a bit of a dilemma.

You see, Damian and Dynial love their Mother, strive to be the best Demon Twins, and see nothing wrong with their life so far.

Their hands are still clean.

Danny, on the other hand, has many MANY choice words for his current situation and one Clock Ghost.

You want to try reincarnation ONE time! No wonder others don't really do that.

-------

Their days continued like they did before he got his memory back. It wasn't hard to be Dynial when he actually was him.

The nights were filled with planning. And a personally assigned mission: get Damian to be interested in normal things.

Stars weren't much of a hit. Uncultured child.

Animals were a little intriguing.

Simple art and craft projects seemed to hit the spot.

Keeping their little meetings and activities hidden wasn't as hard as one would think. Mother still had her missions. The two of them were often left alone in their wing of the place, the supervisors being allowed only till the doors. Ra's was the Head. He didn't check in on them all the time. The two of them weren't slacking in their training either and were considered prodigies.

Danny wanted out of this Cult.

A many months after feeding different information, facts, crafts and so on to his brother, Damian was curious. He was suspicious about the sudden knowledge but he was also 5. He only had to reference the Lazarus Pit (unfiltered and dirty ectoplasm? Seriously? Clockwork, you can't expect him to work on his vocation) once to convince the child.

They snooped around and found out that they had a father out in the world.

Danny got a plan.

It was super stupid. And dangerous as hell. As well as literally (half)suicidal. But he felt it in his chest and knew he'd succeed.

His Core was here. But it was sleeping. And if he wanted to be safe and away from here, he needed to start it up again.

The big pool of Ecto would do just fine. His Core would filter out the impurities.

He didn't want to stay here until his hands no longer protected. He didn't want such life for his brother either.

---

Damian infiltrated the Lazarus Room just in time to see his brother jump into the Pit.

He ran to the edge.

He was sinking.

The green was too bright. The smell around them was too much. His ears rang.

He reached towards the water, eyes unseeing and hands numb. His heartbeat was too loud.

His brother's wasn't loud enough.

"Don't touch the puddles, Dami, you'll get sick," a gentle, cold hand stopped him from diving.

The child looked up. His brother was floating above the water. He looked all wrong. But he was there.

"I didn't want you to see this part..." his brother laughed awkwardly as he landed next to him. A bright ring of light blinded Damian for a second.

And his brother was back.

-----

Getting used to his powers again felt nice but tedious. Soothing his twin was heartbreaking. He didn't think this through hard enough.

Their Mother was none the wiser to the fact that one of her children died and came back. Nore was she privy to the escape being planned by both.

On one moonless night, when Mother wasn't there, the shift was changing and the world was asleep; two boys phased through the walls and flew. Small bags of stuff were strapped onto them as they traveled to their father.

Mother's notes called him Bruce Wayne, Batman, Beloved and Detective.

It wasn't hard to find him when they arrived.

Though, Danny didn't expect a furless furry and a pantless child to be their new family.

Can he ever get a normal Family???

[greyskyflowers]

I continue to look for an AU fic where Ichigo dies and no one can find him anywhere in soul society for years. To the point that they start to think maybe he just went into the reincarnation cycle already.

Eventually the Rukongai has some type of issue and a few of the shinigami are sent out to follow up on it. While responding to it they happen upon a small, nervous child.

One of the younger and newer shinigami tries to get some information out of her or what she may have seen, they wouldn't have hurt her, but they move too quick and she jerks back. They don't even have time to apologize before a boy is standing in front of her and scowling.

He's so small. All protective fury and barely contained fear tucked into too thin limbs and dusty, bruised skin. His hair is bright, even under all the dirt.

His little chin wobbles but he still holds it up to look them in the eyes, and there are tears welling up but he blinks them away. His legs don't shake the whole time though.

There's no memory or recognition in his eyes when he looks at those who knew him.

Because everyone would spoil the hell out of him, I need the Visored and Kisuke spoiling the hell out of him.

This time he can grow up slower and with more love and support than he knows what to do with.

This time when he learns to raise a blade it won't be because he has too. Maybe this time he decides to use his hands for healing or focus on strategy.

And any blood shed will be under their watchful eyes, in training or the small accidents children always get into, instead of life or death battles.

Ichigo is always going to be a protector at his core and he'll always be the first one in and the last one out.

They can make sure he's not alone though, that the burden isn't solely on him and that he's not just a power piece in everyone's plans.

This time the protector gets to be protected.

And maybe some day they'll tell him that the hero in the stories they tell him are actually him.

*******

Ichigo asking to hold hands with Kensei and okay, how is Kensei suppose to say no to those big eyes? He can't. Ichigo holding up his hand and wiggling his fingers until Kensei takes it. Shūhei letting Ichigo cling to his leg and sit with him while doing paperwork, and Mashiro carriing him on her back and zooming around.

The 11th division making off with him and everyone's low key concerned at first because it's the 11th but they shouldn't have worried. They all spar with Ichigo and it's easy to see how happy he is when they carefully knock him over and then help him up before going over how to better his stance or block a hit. They howl and yell in support when he gets a hit in and he proudly shows off the hard earned scrapes and bruises.

Renji carrying him around on his shoulder and grinning at small fingers that tangle in his hair and pull a little too hard when excited. Rukia spending hours drawing with him and they stick their art up everywhere they can get away with it. They put up multiple in Byakuya's office and he doesn't acknowledge anyone who dares asks about taking them down.

Yoruichi napping with Ichigo and purring when he uses her a pillow or even letting him wrap his arms around her like a stuffed animal. She's known to smack out a paw at anyone who tries waking him up or moving him.

Kisuke and Ichigo staring at each other for 10 minutes when they first meet again, before Ichigo seems to find whatever he was looking for and gives a shy smile. Kisuke is absolutely gone, surprisedrelievedhappysohappy and protectprotectprotect burning in his chest.

Shunsui and Ichigo sitting together and enjoying nice afternoons. Both have little ceramic cups, Ichigo's has little berries painted on it that he had proudly done himself. No one mentions it was because of Lisa's wrath when she saw Shunsui giving Ichigo a sake cup of water. Now it's clearly marked and usually contains a bright, clearly not sake, colored juice.

Hiyori teasing him like a big sister and smacking him with her sandal when he does something reckless. They play pranks on Kisuke and Shinji frequently.

Kūkaku and Ganju occasionally stealing Ichigo and smothering him with the affection they were never able to give him before. They tell him about their clan without mentioning or hinting at the relation. Ichigo listening in excitement and saying he wished he had a family like that, not knowing why that makes them both look so happy but also so sad.

Shinji being one of Ichigo's favorites because he speaks to Ichigo like an adult. He tells him the truth when he asks questions and always helps him get back on his feet when he's been knocked off them. He lets Ichigo play with his hair and he always scares away any monsters that might be hiding behind shady corners and under dark steps. Sometimes he watches Ichigo with a weird look on his face, something between the way Kūkaku looks at him and Kisuke looks at him. Almost guilty... sorrowful. Grief is so heavy. When Ichigo asks about it, Shinji doesn't give an answer. It's one of the only times he feels like Shinji is hiding something from him.

[least-carpet]

I am curious: how do you think would work realistically a jc and wwx's reconciliation? Have you any meta on them and their relationship?

I'm sorry this took a minute, anon! Work has been frankly chaotic. But I saw an anti-reconciliation post¹ and I have been roused from my post-work stupor.

Unfortunately, you asked me for something I'm incompetent at, which is plotting. (Otherwise I would have already unleashed my ningcheng fic upon the world.) What I can talk about is what I find compelling about potential reconciliation and potential scenarios.

Why do I love a post-canon reconciliation?

Apart from really liking their relationship and finding it compelling—IMO it's the heart of the narrative of the first life—what I actually enjoy about it is what it offers in terms of development for Wei Wuxian.

I read Wei Wuxian as having displaced and projected a lot of his unresolved trauma onto Jiang Cheng. I've talked a little before about my reading of Jiang Cheng as the "bad feelings" sin eater of the Yunmeng Trio—neither Jiang Yanli nor Wei Wuxian feel like they can express deep unhappiness, but Jiang Cheng is bad at hiding his, so in some way it's his job to embody the collective unhappiness of the children of that family system.

But although this makes Wei Wuxian merry and likeable, it's not actually good for anyone, or even sustainable—when he loses control, he really loses control. And his coping skills are extremely self-destructive, as we can see from the post-war downward spiral of drinking and avoidance. I also think his experiences in his childhood (losing his parents and being homeless) plus his wartime experiences gave him some kind of trauma disorder that contributes to his terrible memory, which he's turned into his primary coping mechanism (apart from alcohol). If I Simply Close My Eyes And Run Away, My Bad Feelings Can't Get Me!

But, like, repressing your feelings doesn't work forever. He's compartmentalized his whole first life to function in the second one, but that means giving up on everything and everyone he loved, including the Jiang siblings and Lotus Pier. That's incredibly tragic to me.

Sometimes I think antis are so happy to demonize Jiang Cheng in order to minimize the depth of the loss Wei Wuxian has suffered. If he never loved Jiang Cheng, if they were never close and devoted to one another, if their childhood was an unending misery, then wouldn't Wei Wuxian be much freer in the present?

But what I think has happened is that the loss is so huge that it's completely terrifying and threatening. So are the feelings around killing Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli's death, and the death of Wen Qing and the Wen remnants. It's too much, so he blocks it out or, in some cases, projects it onto Jiang Cheng.

Of course, Jiang Cheng will never forgive him, because he irreparably ruined Jiang Yanli's life and then she died trying to save him and Jin Ling became an orphan. It's all his fault; it can't be forgiven; he might as well give up on it...

Jiang Cheng is obviously very angry and upset with him, it's true. But you can see how projecting his guilt and shame over his actions onto Jiang Cheng and then running away from Jiang Cheng is also a way for him to escape his guilt and shame over what happened to Jiang Yanli. (And to escape all the repressed resentment he has for Jiang Cheng because of the core transfer.²)

But there are two tragic elements of this approach. One, that by doing this he yields up any possible relationship with Jiang Cheng, and with the Jiang Sect, because by all means Wei Wuxian must escape him in order to outrun his terrible feelings. Two, that it's another coping mechanism that distorts the reality of the situation, which is that they were all swept up in power games beyond their capacity to manage, and they did their best—the Jiang siblings, the Wen siblings, Jin Zixuan, and Wei Wuxian—and it still went badly for everyone except the Jin Sect.

I don't think he can confront that yet. But I do think that Wei Wuxian feels very safe with Lan Wangji, and sometimes a safe and supportive relationship can provide the resources to do things you didn't think you could do before.

Can you imagine a different conversation, that begins with the bald acknowledgement of failure and wrongdoing³? "I never meant for all of that to happen. I did what I thought was right, but I never thought Jiang Yanli would be harmed, and I didn't intend to kill Jin Zixuan. I am so sorry. I miss her."

GIVE THE CATHARSIS TO ME. GIVE IT HERE.

A Wei Wuxian who has reached a point where he's capable of that accountability and vulnerability is delicious to me. A Wei Wuxian who can get there can return to Lotus Pier and rebuild a relationship with the living sect and his living sect brother.

How could it happen?

The trick is how to get there, 'cause it's like trying to herd cats where one cat is mortally afraid of facing the second and the other one has betrayal trauma and abandonment issues. But the cats love each other! They do!

I don't see Jiang Cheng initiating. I see him as being more open to a reconciliation, now that he knows why Wei Wuxian did what he did, but I see him as being profoundly afraid of trapping people in relationship with him or inflicting himself on people who don't want him around. (Not, like, for politics. In that arena I assume he's unpleasant when necessary to great effect.)

Fortunately, Wei Wuxian can be led if you're cunning enough to do it and you bait the trap with something good (see the plot of MDZS for Nie Huaisang's very successful demonstration of this principle). He also will increase pursuit if you dangle and withdraw the bait.

The question, of course, is what makes good bait for catching Wei Wuxian. Some options:

Option 1: murder mystery. Someone dies in an exciting way that involves Jiang Cheng. (Wei Wuxian will involve himself, dude loves a murder mystery.) It could be in the Jiang Sect or the Jin Sect; if it involves Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng will jump in with a swiftness.

Option 2: Jiang Cheng marriage rumours. Doesn't even have to involve unsavoury rumous about the potential wife; Jiang Cheng getting married without him (like Jiang Yanli) would dredge up some feelings, I think.

Option 3: Jiang Cheng tragic illness or curse rumours. You better be sure it was in a past life, cause it looks like this one might be over soon!

Option 4: Forced together time (due to a night hunt or a kidnapping, etc.). It's time for the getting along shirt!

To borrow from SVSSS, you might need a scenario-pusher for it to happen. But the world of MDZS is rife with these opportunities, and cultivators can live a very long time. So there's hope yet!

Footnotes:

1. This is a perfectly reasonable viewpoint to come to by the end of the novel. It's simply one I don't share.

2. See this passage from the confrontation in the Guanyin Temple:

"It wasn’t something he liked to reminisce about. He didn’t want to be reminded again and again of what it felt like when his core was cut out or what price he had to pay. If this were exposed in the past, he’d most likely laugh and comfort Jiang Cheng … But now, he indeed didn’t have the strength left to put up such a confident, nonchalant pretense.

From the bottom of his heart, he knew he wasn’t so indifferent about it after all.

Was it really that easy to move on from such a thing?

Of course not." (Chapter 103, "Hatred," ExR translation)

3. I saw a different post complaining about Wei Wuxian apologizing to Jiang Cheng in reconciliation scenarios, and I just, like, he kicked off a political firestorm that ended in the death of Jiang Yanli and her husband. This is completely separate from the non-consensual surgery and all the lying he was doing about that. He owes him multiple different apologies! And Jiang Cheng should also apologize to him! That's why they apologize to each other in the Temple, because they know they hurt each other! The point of an apology in an intimate relationship is to connect with the person you are apologizing to in order to repair the relationship, and the Temple was not the time, which is why they need a private do-over! It's not humiliation, it's intimacy, connection, and repair. How do y'all live your lives.

3.5 Also, imagine it to be more in-character than that.

[disillusioneddanny]

Help <3 DC x DP idea

Hi friends, I need help fleshing out this idea for a fanfic I want to write and figured I’d ask the masses! 

The idea is that Danny has been immortal for quite some time now. He’s lived millennia and at one point met his soulmate. The thing is, his soulmate keeps choosing to be reincarnated every time they die. Every time they get reincarnated they don’t remember Danny but he remembers them. Every reincarnation feels a pull to Danny, though. The more time they spend with one another, the more their memories of past lives come back piece by piece. When they die, Danny gets a few years with them before they get reincarnated. 

IDK if the soulmate just chooses to get reincarnated each time or if there’s a curse that forces it. I’m kinda leaning towards cursed. 

Whatever the reason, each time they’re reincarnated, Danny seeks them out because his core yearns for its mate but usually only when the soulmate hits the age twenty. 

For whatever reason, this time around, Danny finds them earlier than usual. He finds them as a small child. Now this is where I need opinions. 

Option 1. Dead Serious 

Danny finds Damian when he’s still a child training to be the Demon’s Head and decides that he has to protect his soul mate this time around, he realizes that Damian has no love from anyone and is like I need to show him he’s loved. he’s horrified that his soul mate is being raised as an assassin and decides to haunt him as his imaginary friend just until Damian is able to get away from the League safely. He cleans any wounds that Damian gets, he helps him when he can, basically tries his best to help Damian without getting in trouble too much for interfering. He stops haunting Damian when he’s taken to Wayne Manor and then he goes back to the realms until it’s time for him to actually seek Damian out. 

Option 2. Dead Tired 

Same concept but with Tim, except instead he sees that his soul mate is just insanely lonely and is left at home constantly so he just haunts Tim to be someone that the boy can rely on and not feel as lonely. He teaches Tim how to fight and defend himself from bullies, he teaches him tech, they just have fun together. Ofc same thing, when Tim goes to live with Bruce, Danny goes back to the realms knowing that his soul mate is going to be taken care of. 

Option 3. Dead on Main

Danny finds Jason and sees that his family is drug addicts and is like uh uh no way gotta take care of him. He gives Jason companionship, gives him food so he doesn’t starve and just generally makes sure that Jason’s taken care of. Once he’s adopted, he leaves. With this one though, when jason dies Danny finds him and is like noo, it’s way too early. Jason gets his memories back and is super happy to see Danny but Danny’s like it’s not your time, you need to go back and sends Jason back. He later finds Jason again when he becomes Red Hood and realizes that when Jason was sent back it caused him to be confused as heck and the pits are what keeps him from remembering Danny because him dying too early and being sent back broke the cycle somehow. but now Danny’s gotta help heal him from the pit rage and also help his soul mate because he’s a crime lord now and Danny wasn’t exactly expecting that this time around. 

Anyway, it won’t let me make this a poll without fucking up the post. So, if you would just reply or reblog with tags telling me which idea you think is best, that would be great. I really can’t decide and really wanna write this fic but I have sooo many ideas for all three. 

[mangthemango]

Withdrawals

A Genshin Impact SAGAU Brainrot

Pairing/s: Albedo x Creator!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Imposter!AU, cult behaviour, medication withdrawal symptoms, you take anti-depressants, Albedo is possibly OOC just because I don't know too much about him (because mf refused to come home >:()

Author's Notes: It's currently eight in the morning and I decided to write this entirely on a whim. Friendly reminder to take your medication when you need to! Otherwise, Genshin will make sure your fave doesn't come home lol.

Fic under the cut! I hope you enjoy!

Waking up in Teyvat was fun at first. After emerging from unconsciousness in Windrise and getting over the initial thoughts of 'how the hell is this possible', you were actually having a good time. The sun wasn't too hot on your skin, the breeze was nice and cool, even the hilichurls were more than welcoming to your arrival. Being able to try sunsettias for the first time and feeling the gentle tingling of an Electro slime under your fingertips were core memories you hoped you'd never forget.

Well, it was fun. It was until you started getting chased around Mondstadt.

The Knights of Favonius had it in for you because of your appearance, weirdly enough. While you did share some similarities to some released characters, you couldn't think of a single character who looked identical to you as your hunters claimed. Maybe it was an unreleased character or an NPC they were talking about.

You couldn't care less, though. All you knew was that this mystery stranger was held in such high regard that they wanted to kill you in their name.

No more than twelve hours after waking up in the Nation of Freedom, you were cowering in a hidden radish plot in Springvale, watching the setting sun shine gold on the faces of your pursuers. Some interrogated the townspeople of your whereabouts, others put up posters calling for your arrest at the decree of someone called 'The Divine Creator'.

A Divine Creator? Could they maybe be Fontaine's Archon? Your knowledge on the lore of Genshin Impact was rusty at best. However, you knew of the emphasis the French-inspired nation had on invention and composition. Perhaps Fontaine had a unique system of worship for their regional god, just like all the other nations you'd come to know and love. Plus, it'd explain why you hadn't heard of the title before while playing the game.

Yet, the longer you pondered over it on your way to Stormterror's Lair, the less it made sense. You'd only just woken up in Teyvat and unless there was an omnipotence amongst the Archons which you hadn't learned of, it was pretty much impossible for the god of Hydro to know about you when you'd barely stepped foot out of Barbatos' territory.

That left the questions: who was this Divine Creator that wanted you dead? And why did it feel like you'd forgotten something important?

Your trek towards Old Mondstadt was tiring - you'd never done this much walking in your life - and when the moon was high, you had no choice but to put your journey on hold for the sake of taking some much needed rest in Wolvendom. A Wolfhook bush was your bed for the night and you prayed to any Archon who'd dare listen to you for a peaceful trip and some safe refuge.

No one was listening that evening. That seemed more and more apparent as your hike continued.

Knights were scattered across the lands, vigilant eyes scanning the surroundings and forcing you to rely on sneaking and climbing abilities you didn't know you had. Mobs that were usually hostile towards you as a player were more than willing to lend a helping hand but as it became clear they were also more than willing to die for you, you steered clear of hilichurl camps, no matter how small. You soon only had yourself and a growing queasiness to keep you company on your travels.

It became a hard-won miracle that you managed to make it to the ruined city, your mystery illness that struck no more than a day after you first arrived in Teyvat reducing you to shaky limbs, stale saliva, pounding headaches and teary eyes. However, you only barely managed to cross into the new region before you fell onto the stone in a heap, crying. You hadn't felt this bad since you were first put on your meds-

Oh shit. Your medication. No wonder you were feeling like garbage.

As quick as the realisation came, another wave of helplessness crashed into you. Teyvat likely wasn't advanced enough to manufacture something like anti-depressants and even if they were, the Knights had made sure that any citizen of Mondstadt who saw you would drag you back to the city to witness your execution. You probably had more of a chance of finding the Unusual Hilichurl with a blindfold than seeking out someone who'd be willing to help you.

Metal gently scooped you off of the floor and you wiped your eyes, clearing them enough to see the Ruin Guard which was carrying you towards the centre of the lair. All you could do was lay your head against the machine, eyes fluttering shut. You knew that withdrawals wouldn't kill you but with how awful you felt, you almost felt like handing yourself in just to make it stop.

When you opened your eyes next, it was to the sight of a makeshift lab built in the cave you'd been placed in. A familiar blond man was sitting cross-legged at the small bench, fiddling with eye-droppers and beakers, and before you could stop yourself, you weakly called out his name.

Albedo was quick to move from his seat, moving to you and hovering his hands over your arms. "You still need rest, Your Grace. Please, sleep some more. I'm almost finished."

Delirious from your foggy mind and in disbelief that the nation's Chief Alchemist was aiding you, all you could mutter was "My name's not Grace."

A ghost of a smile crept upon his lips, although that might've been the withdrawals messing with you again, before he moved settled next to your hunched figure. "It's your title, Your Grace. It seems my hypothesis has been proven, unfortunately. You don't appear to remember much about yourself-"

"Why are you helping me?" you interjected. A small voice in the back of your mind scolded you for being impolite to the only person who'd helped you since you first arrived in Teyvat but it was quickly lost in another wave of wooziness. "They've got a big cash reward if you kill me."

Albedo's eyes widened ever so slightly, his face seemingly growing a shade paler. "I would do nothing of the sort, Your Grace. You are the Divine Creator and what the people of Mondstadt are doing is treason against your great name," he explained.

"But I'm not a Divine Creator of anything. I thought that was another name of the Hydro Archon," you mumbled, eyes squeezing in pain.

"Oh dear, it's worse than I predicted. Please, provide me with a few more moments, Your Grace. I almost have the fluoxetine ready for you."

It was that single word, so starkly familiar amongst the blond's overwhelming claims, that had your eyes darting open and your body sitting up so quickly Albedo didn't have enough time to move his hands away. The soft fabric of his gloves touched your skin for a moment before his arms recoiled like you were hot to the touch. Cheeks flushed a soft pink, he fell back, restoring the distance between the two of you.

"Fluoxetine? Y-You have anti-depressants? How do you even manufacture them here?" you questioned, disbelief keeping your eyes wide. However, it was the prospect of finally getting rid of these shitty withdrawal symptoms that injected life into you once more. You never thought you'd be excited to take your medication, not since you were told you'd need to start taking those tablets, but in this moment, you wouldn't blame anyone who thought you'd just won the lottery.

"Teyvat, uh, doesn't manufacture the fluoxetine," Albedo replied in his usual soft tone, moving back to his knee-high bench to finish his chemistry. "The recipe for the 'anti-depressants' comes from an ancient scripture. I've been studying this sacred text for a long time to deduce how to make this substance if you ever were to descend in a mortal form in my lifetime."

"Albedo, with all due respect, I have no idea what you're talking about," you said, staring at the blond as his words swum in your already full head. "I'm sorry. I think the explanation might need to wait until I've had my meds in my system for a little bit. It's really hard to think right now."

Albedo only nodded. "That is understandable, Your Grace. I will finish concocting the fluoxetine so we can restore your form to its full glory. Once you are feeling like yourself again, you may ask me any question you want answered."

You nodded back in response, leaning back onto the soft grass with a sigh. As bad as things felt right now, somehow the promise of your meds reentering your system, even being delivered by a character from your favourite game, made your symptoms ease ever so slightly. It wasn't enough to get rid of the stale taste in your mouth or the tremors in your hands. It was enough, though, to finally allow you to get some more rest since your sleep in Wolvendom.

As for all the Divine Creator stuff Albedo claimed you were? You'll just deal with that when you've had your tablets.

[donationwayne]

here's my confession (I'm kind of hooked on you) CHAPTER FOUR

Pairing: Buddie || 24.7k/109k || Chapter 4/19 ||

CHAPTER FOUR OF MY FIC FOR @118bigbang ! !!!!!

THE RETURN OF DILF EDDIE

This week: buck cooks for eddie, buck and eddie gossip, buck meets up witht he 118

Summary:

Buck is forced to go on a temporary medical leave after getting crushed by a flight of stairs. In the meantime, he works at dispatch while he recovers. One evening after work, Buck hooks up with a mysterious, hot, family oriented DILF. The following morning he’s mortified and a little love sick after discovering said hook-up aka Eddie Diaz is the newest (temporary) firefighter liaison--poached from a house in El Paso, Texas. Buck navigates becoming best friends and eventually work partners with his ex-hookup. In the meantime, he desperately tries not to fall in love. He fails.

Cue: An adorable five year old, prank wars, gay offs, break room gossip, a fake dating plot, firefighting shenanigans, a packed summer of PTA responsibilities, karaoke, and copious amounts of cupcakes and thai food

OR

tldr: the hot dilf from the bar is my new work partner

_________

SNIP

Eddie joins Buck, who already has their meals on the table—potato and zucchini curry over rice. Eddie melts into the chair beside him, taking a long inhale of curry like it was a cigarette. “You’ve really got to teach me how to do this sometime.”

“Over my dead body. What use would you have for me if you learned how to cook?” Buck teases, “Besides, I doubt Chris would enjoy your learning phase of cooking. It sounds like you char even water.”

“Screw you Buckley,” Eddie replies with a light grin. “So, what’s going on out there today?”

It's a new part of his and Eddie's lunchtime routine, ever since the new dispatch trainees started, the pair has begun watching out the windows of the break room as though it were a large scale television. There was plenty of drama going on around the room between phone calls, especially on days that could be considered slow. Buck has made a flow chart of who dislikes who, who was friends, and clashing personalities that rarely interact. He and Eddie have spent the last few weeks stirring the pot in the office to Sue’s chagrin. She humored them with gentle amusement, as long as it wasn’t interrupting work or causing major issues.

“What do you think Sharon is thinking about?” Eddie asks as he spoons some curry into his mouth. He glances at Buck, who is expertly using chopsticks. “How do you use those? One time I went out with my sisters to some sushi joint when I was back in Texas, they all got chopsticks, and I was the only one who didn’t know how to use them. Our waiter rigged a pair with a rubber band and gave them to me, kid style. Chris still laughs about it to this day, I’m pretty sure that was, as that baby dispatcher over there calls it, a core memory.”

Buck nearly laughs coffee through his nose. “I love when you use terminology you don’t really understand that the baby dispatchers teach you, and it's even better when you use it correctly. You’re going to make Chris’ life a living hell when he grows up.”

“That’s exactly what I’m aiming for. There is nothing I love in life more than being the cringe dad. It's a well earned title.”

“Also, as for Sharon, she’s definitely thinking about last night's episode of the Bachelor, we talked about it for the full length of our first break.”

“Is that what you do on calls? Think about The Bachelor while you’re supposed to be saving lives?”

“That’s exactly it, Eddie. I’m confused, I thought I was hired to think about The Bachelor all day, I’m pretty sure it was in my contract.” Eddie rolls his eyes, scooping a large piece of potato. “And actually right now I’m pretty getting into this procedural show, my friend Chim rolled his eyes when I told him I hadn't seen it. I didn’t really watch television growing up, so it's all sort of new to me, and I’m playing catch-up, shoving all this pop culture into my free time.”

“I’m not a big TV buff, but I think I can quote Finding Nemo to you, if that means anything at all. I’m well versed in animated children's movies.”

“Delightful, someday I will come over and we will watch Tangled, and I will force you to sing every word because it is one of the greatest children's musical movies, in my opinion. It's also one of like five children's movies I actually saw growing up.”

“Whenever you talk about your parents, it gives me whiplash. Half the time I think you despise your parents, and the other half of the time you dote on them,” Eddie points out curiously.

Buck opens and closes his mouth a few times. “My real parents live in Pennsylvania, I have no relationship with them. I’ve lowkey been adopted by a different set of adults, and I call them my parents, even though they’re not really my parents. I realize why that’s confusing,” Buck admits sheepishly. “I’ve also never called them my parents to their faces before.” Buck blushes, “But I really do think of them as the closest thing to real parents that I have. I’m 'no contact' with my family.”

[ratasum]

So about that big rewrite with @wall-legion. (Spoilers and some salt ahead, and significant changes.)

Again, as per usual, keep in mind that we're doing this based on personal opinion. If you enjoyed your time, I'm INCREDIBLY happy for you! But we did not.

Zojja isn't the one who goes to the wizards (at least not at first). I've mentioned before that Jenn and I had been treating it like she'd been There All Along the last eight years, and we're not changing that.

Instead, since in our plot Logan dies for real in Arah, he's the one in Wizlandia. He got picked up after being left there with the intention of people returning to get his body. The assumption is that he got awakened or something. Turns out that's not the case!

Zojja has some roles in the other plots that I'll write out when I get around to actually writing cohesive fic stuff, but it's limited bc of chronic pain and fatigue from what she went through in Maguuma. She's doing her best, but still struggling with what she's no longer able to do. Which leads to her vanishing in the middle of the night roughly a month before SotO starts.

Odetta and Leyya eventually find the letter she received from Logan, leading them on the goose chase that takes them to Wizlandia as well. Plot roughly follows canon from here in points, with Logan in Zojja's role and Zojja present and Mabon mentoring her to unlock more of her magic.

Mabon lives! He also gets some of his memories back because of the possession, and he starts spilling the beans. He keeps mentoring Zojja despite his apprehension with Isgarren, who starts helping in the convergences, and she starts getting pressured towards ascension as well... genuinely considering it because she's so tired.

All those loaded Chekov's Guns about the fractals and how horrific and unethical they were, the wizards never stepping in even when the world is at risk (Void?? hello??), and Isgarren's seeming lack of care for anything outside of the Kryptis gets tied up. How? He, Eparch, and Vass had a shitty breakup and Isgarren is obsessed with "punishing" him for his supposed betrayal over Vass's death. There's some JUICY DEETS here I'll go into later.

Galrath is replaced. Because why the FUCK is he even there???? We killed him to keep him OUT of the wizard's tower in GW1.

Anyway Isgarren tries to genocide the kryptis to "keep Tyria safe," leading to a big kerfuffle and a final fight with him. He ends up killed right before we fight Eparch and kill him. Peitha gets made king!

Logan decides to ascend in the end and stay with the wizards. He knows he can do well here, and everyone thinks he's dead anyway. Dagda takes on Isgarren's role. She also gets to learn she shouldn't tie her worth and willingness to exist to one person and stops trying to cling to the memory of the kodan and wrap up Zojja.

Lyhr leaves to find his partner. He may return to the wizards eventually, but he needs to do this.

Zojja decides to stop trying to be better and to work within her means. She also decides she's going to burn the system in Rata Sum to the ground, but needs time to plan. Opts to go back to Lion's Arch for now.

The wizards agree they can no longer stay in their tower doing nothing. They start reaching out more to core Tyria. No hiding anymore. If they're going to protect the world... they need to be part of it.

And unrelated to any of that, the Rata Novus fractal is now the Thaumanova city cube.

But yeah, we're gonna have fun with this.

[the-east-art]

Easts Supernatural Rant

Just been thinking a lot about how bad Supernatural is lately because I've been going through the weeds reading old fics I've bookmarked and there's some good SPN ones. Background info: I watched SPN nonstop in middle school (roughly ten years ago) and if you go back in time you'll see that it was the fandom I was in way back when I first made my tumblr. I watched until about... season 10? When I realized it was never going to actually get good. So I was really obsessed with it for a good while but also it has been quite a while since I actually watched it.

rant under the cut o7

Okay so anyone who has watched Supernatural knows that it didn't start out actually so... bad. Supernatural starts out decent and builds up momentum fine in my memory clear through the final of season 5. I feel like among the fandom most people know that this should have been the ending of the series. For those reading who don't know, Swan Song ends with a really beautiful monologue about endings and in a tragedy with just enough of a glimmer of hope. Like it's a good ending. And then the series just kept going. do not get me wrong - there's a lot of fun episodes and concepts explored in the *checks notes* holy shit 10 FUTURE SEASONS, but it's also where a lot of the cracks really get bad.

However, in my opinion the biggest issue with Supernatural as the seasons progress is how whittled down the cast becomes. In the first few seasons there are a lot of supporting cast that you really get attached to - there's a bar for hunters, Bobby's place, a whole network of people connected to the principle cast.

While naturally the core of the series is Dean and Sam (and eventually Castiel) almost all of the supporting cast dies. And while I think the death is good in several ways, it really pushes the stakes of the series, especially in the earlier seasons where death truly was final and wasn't a joke. However you can only kill the supporting cast for so long until the show becomes... lonely. Messy. You start to not want to get attached to new characters because of how you know they'll probably die and then not get mentioned again. Many characters after their death just kind of... fade into the background never to be seen. While I don't believe that characters need to be mourned forever, you can't help but to feel that they are dropped for convenience of the show.

This has been on my mind because, as I've been poking around the annals of ao3 looking for diamonds in the rough, I've realized that really any fics that take place in any of the later seasons (let's say 8-15) to me might as well be a different show. It's a show heralded by characters I either don't know (Griffin Mcelroy meme of 'I don't know who Jack Kline is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask) or are character so completely reshaped by the narrative that I no longer recognize them (Castiel the character that just kind of does whatever will make the story interesting I'm looking at you).

What previously is a respectable narrative becomes blown out of proportion. I was reading a fic that dealt a lot with the themes of 'free will' and what that means and how do we try and exercise it, and I realize that I forgotten that, at one point, free will had been the theme of the series. The principle trio in the fandom is called Team Free Will because of that, but pretty much after season 5 all of that is thrown out the window. The first third of the series the boys are fighting against fate, and prophecy, and roles that they have been assigned to. But in the latter part of the series, as the narrative web spins further out of control, you lose that theming.

I mostly talk about this because I kind of find it interesting to look at. About what is engaging to me as a person, and what is a red flag. What I like in a story and what I don't. And I am chiefly reminded of moments where the series drops plot point, or muddies messaging (I have been reminded what The Voicemail is and how it is never addressed). And It's sad. Because I really REALLY loved the show once, and cared for the characters. And now I take refuge in fanfiction, because a lot of the aspects of the story and settings and characters hold SO MUCH potential, that is ruined in the source material.

Uhhhh yeah. Let me know what you think and let me know if have any questions about my opinions on stuff cuz I LOVE talking about art and narrative and stories. Or let me know if you want Fanfic recs because hell yeah I do.

[lixxen]

hello beloved mutual lixxen. im curious of about danny phantom! ive seen your reblogs of it, and i was wondering if you could explain the premise of it? bc my memory of it was a kids show from nickelodeon, but it seems super popular. is it still running??

anyways it seems kind of fun, im thinking of starting it

Welcome back to Lixx explaining hyperfixations!!

Danny Phantom is a children's cartoon from 2004 that has three seasons and a graphic novel (that came out last year) (the show has been done for twenty years)

It focuses on Daniel Fenton, who is a 14 year old who lives in a small town somewhere in the northern Midwest of the US (near Wisconsin but not in it). His parents are scientists/inventors who are obsessed with ghosts. They create a portal that should bring them to the Ghost Zone, a special realm that ghosts come from, but it doesn't work. Danny does inside of it and turns it on, which turns him into a Halfa. A Halfa is a half ghost, half human. He canonically dies twice in the show. I will not elaborate on how this kid just dies a few times.

The show follows Danny and his friends (and various classmates and reoccurring cast) as he learns how to use his powers and fight off ghosts along the way!

The cast includes:

His older sister Jazz, who is actually a really good big sister who cares a lot even if she's overbearing

Sam, his main love interest who is a Jewish goth girl and doesn't eat meat

His best friend Tucker, who is a techno nerd who loves meat

The A-Listers, who are the popular kids

Valerie, who is a love interest and enemy at certain points

His parents Maddie and Jack, who are overbearing and can be kinda crazy at times

Vlad, his not uncle who is fucking insane and a main bad guy. In love with Maddie

Plus various others!!

The fandom is very active and old. There are regular Tumblr/AO3 events that happen every year with a schedule and there is a steady fanon that has been built around the show that is basically canon (or supported by the canon). The creator, Butch Hartman, is a bigoted asshole who everyone hates.

The show is very fun and it is bingeable. It has a specific formula and is predictable at times. But also, it's very grim because you slowly realize that this 14 year old kid is literally carrying the weight of a realm on his shoulders and is living a double life where his parents basically want him dead and gone while loving his alive self

The fandom loves gore/whump.

I'm not kidding.

I have written a handful of gore fics for this show and tbh they're not even the worst things ever. If you've ever want to see some of the most jaw dropping whump and gore, this fandom has it.

We have fics that are literally the best written alternate universes and have nothing to do with the original show besides characters and death. Like. There's bound books of that specific fic. I haven't read it but it's long and it will make you sob

Some things that are lore building/fanon shit that everyone knows:

Ghost obsessions (you'll know it when you see it)

Ghost cores having specific effects on ghosts (it's canon but not really talked about in canon for more than two seconds)

Danny having allergic reactions to blood blossoms outside of his ghost form

Ghost speak being a ghost language all ghosts speak

Wes Weston and Kyle Weston being unnamed background characters that the fans took and made into full characters. It's actually cool as fuck. They're fully functioning characters and I love them

Death echoes/death days

I will warn that whatever feelings you have regarding to ships needs to be kicked to the side. All things go for ships here. Don't like the ship/don't condone it, don't interact with ir. You will waste your breath trying to play police over ship

Ships also have names. Platonic AND romantic ships. Here's some I can name off the top of my head:

Pitch pearl: Danny/Phantom (Danny gets split into a ghost and human form at one point)

Amethyst ocean: Danny/Sam

Savant Par: Danny/Tucker

Everlasting trio: Danny/Tucker/Sam

Badger cereal: Danny & Vlad (I think????)

Swagger Bishie/Golden Twinkie: dash/Danny

Pink astronaut: Danny/Paulina

Gray Ghost: Danny/Valerie

So yeah lol

This is my most read fic I think. I am gonna start writing again for DP soon. I love reading them

(here's my AO3 fic tags from my bookmarks for DP)

[doomspiral]

Doom's Movie Rec List

Some of these are bangers, some of these are the worst thing I have ever seen in my life, but I think they are all worth watching and enjoying one way or another. Sometimes the enjoyment is cringe and sometimes its staring at a wall for three hours. <3

The seventh seal (1957)

Classic chess game with Death film, I presume the entire thing is Bergman staring into the soul of the viewer in dead silence until you can read his mind.

The cabinet of Dr. Caligary (1920)

Strange, lurching, I watched this in German without knowing enough to keep up and I believe my confusion added to the experience.

Atomic blonde (2017)

This is my favorite movie. This is the one that I can't stop rewriting in my fics. I can't get the "lies" soliloquy out of my mind. My soul is tied to this fillum. Hot insane woman does a lot of violence, kisses women, beats up a guy who truly deserves it. Iron Curtain Spy Nonsense.

Hackers (1994)

Am I depressing you? Good, watch Hackers to experience child-like wonder and also see a grown man skateboard down a foggy street in the middle of the night to harass the homosexual teenagers (and slim shady) he's beefing with.

The core (2003)

This is not a good movie. But there is a little freak in there named "Rat" who I am obsessed with.

Angel's egg (1985)

This is the kind of movie where you have to not try to figure out what's going on and instead let it take you by the hands, just experience it, just keep your mouth shut and your mind at rest and you can consider the implications afterward when its safe.

Princess mononoke (1997)

I watched this as a child and saw those beasts dissolve into bloody worms and apparently that left a lasting mark on my brain.

Nausicaä of the valley of wind (1984)

I actually read the manga for this one but this is a movie rec list, so please go watch this for the death and rebirth vibes, and some mild foeyay yuri.

Invasion of the body snatchers (1978)

Horror movie that's odd and disturbing and clearly betraying some better dead than red fears, worth it for the horrible despicable freakish noise the guy makes at the end while pointing at the viewer.

Strange days (1995)

Please read up on this before watching it, it revolves around a fictional, then-futuristic critique of the adult film industry, HEAVY focus on the capitalistic dehumanization and devaluing of human life.

Underworld (2003)

Bad asses in leather fighting monsters. Core memory.

Blade (1998)

Bad asses in leather fighting monsters but maybe you need a break from how white this whole movie list is overall. That's okay, I see you, this vampire flick fucks severe.

Fright night (1985, 2011)

The first movie is pretty campy (fun) but the remake dug into my actual stressors and fears and scared the lights from my eyes for a day or two. Welcome... to FrrrighT NighT.

Dracula (1931, 1992)

First movie is a classic, this is thee one with the guy crawling around like a lizard and there's armadillos for no reason. The 90's version has no business being as deranged as it is and for this it is a core personality trait movie.

Fast&furious: Tokyo drift (2006)

Not sure I would say this is peak cinema but it's a racing movie that falls in line with the F&F tradition of being clearly in love with the entire premise, location, and cast. Rent free.

Drive (2011)

I like this movie because it is not about the guy getting the girl, it is about doing the right thing every single time because that's what it takes to be a real human bean. being. whichever. I was so obnoxious about this movie when I watched it with my now-ex gf that I wish I could siphon the memory of it out of her brain, because I kept pointing at actors I knew.

Green room (2015)

This is the best punk parable I can think of. Litany against not reading the room, litany against being the hero when there's no one to save, litany against thinking shared trauma is gonna get you any pussy.

Lords of chaos (2018)

I'm obsessed with the band Mayhem there is no other explanation.

There will be blood (2007)

WILD WEST TOXIC YAOI. I'm not apologizing for this summary and I'm not elaborating.

Butch Cassidy and the sundance kid (1969)

I don't know. I watched this in the wee hours of the morning with my best friend and actually cried about it. Doomed criminals and a famous final stand.

Saw (2004)

I used to watch Saw movies when I lived in the trailer park while hiding from my family in a neighbor's place so I don't know if these movies are good or if I needed to watch tortureporn to relax bcs the roof leaked on my bed when it rained? But I think everyone should at least watch the first movie or how are you going to play any games?

Chernobyl diaries (2012)

I walked out of this movie shaking head to toe and couldn't think about anything else for months. I don't think I'd be as scared now but I can't say if that's because I'm not 16 anymore. Warning against going into a dangerous situation with a guy you met off Craigslist.

Constantine (2005)

Demon hoards, evil angels, catholic bullshit, 9/10.

The neverending story (1984)

Well after all that let's reinstate some whimsy into our souls again bcs this is the Jim Henson Power Hour. This one is just a solid entry point into "puppets are fun and practical effects are my best friend".

The dark crystal (1982)

My babysitters put this on for me as a bed-time story when I was five (5) years old and I do not believe I slept, I think they regretted this and had to tell my parents what they did. But now I will never stop making Skeksis noises at people I love.

Labyrinth (1986)

Y'know the phenomenon of alt teens and preteens dating young adult men who are total and complete losers, including actual band members? It's not that this pre-dates any of that, but I believe it does a good job representing it through the lens of a modern fairy tale. Like when you watch this you have to realize this is wish fulfillment for people who want to be Sarah because their age-gap goth boyfriend in the real world is a manipulative disappointment.

Pacific rim (2013)

Love letter to the mecha and kaiju genre(s). Makes no sense, compels me though.

Eurotrip (2004)

This is the movie "Scotty doesn't know" is from. Some high schoolers fuck off to Europe and have the most misadventure possible. It's somehow exactly the kind of cringe humor you would expect from the 00's without being cruel or overly disgusting. I used to watch a lot of really bad 00's comedies and this is a good one I promise. Scussie.

Hamlet (1996)

Personality point, I think this is the best version on film because the guy actually looks like how I envisioned Hamlet. Ignore your girl! Avenge your dad!

Advantageous (2015)

This movie goes in on the connection between race and class in a sci-fi future where you can change the former through predatory, dangerous cosmetic surgery.

Gravity (2013)

This is my go-to movie when I need to sob like a sick little baby. Space travel as a metaphor for motherhood, spaceships as the womb, scientists are the babies who left their babies back on earth. It's about what you give up in the name of fulfilling your human urge for the unknown.

All clear on the western front (2022)

Thee anti-war fillum. Very well done. I never recovered from one of the final scenes to the point I wrote a final paper on it. Without spoiling it, the Ending gave me the feeling of when you're a kid and you want to go play, but you're grounded and you fall asleep listening to your friends outside in the street. I hope this sentence ruins your life if you watch this movie.

Inglorious basterds (2009)

They lock some nazis in a theatre and set them on fire, good cinema.

Shadow dancer (2012)

Domhnall Gleeson in one of his classically pathetic twink roles but its about British imperial violence and Irish reactionary violence.

Logan (2017)

Good art film, a story about dementia, legacies, and why putting children in cages is fucking evil.

The batman (2022)

Weird art film, next question.

Joker (2019)

I do not care about the opinions of straight men who watch things uncritically, this is a good movie because of the depictions of poverty in the US. I don't believe this needed to be about the DC Joker this should have been a standalone art film about a mime.

Dragonheart (1996)

Medieval era dragon nonsense, I will never be convinced this is a bad movie.

Sleeping beauty (1959)

Personality trait was rooting for the dragon.

Snow dogs (2002)

I'm not defending this one it stands on its own, please watch this movie if you wanna see Cuba Gooding Jr. bite a husky's ear so it'll stop ruining his life.

Luck of the irish (2001)

This movie is genuinely so bad I have considered it some kind of hate crime since the day it came out, because I watched this the day it was a direct-to-TV movie. I think I was too young to feel insulted but I was deeply, deeply bemused.

Black swan (2010)

There is a woman inside her and she is trying to crash the plane. Can I get away with calling this foe-yay yuri also? I'm going to.

I, tonya (2017)

Sufjan Stevens' song "Tonya Harding in Eb major" makes me so unreasonably emotional, so one day I watched this movie and then the film of the 1988 Calgary Olympics in the living room while all of my housemates had to sneak around in the dark. This is just a solid movie about ambition, betrayal, abuse, tragedy, and having to get over it and move on because you're not dead yet.

Phantom of the opera (2004)

Whatever was going on in Labyrinth, this is the adult version. Weird man in a sewer possessing a soprano. I think there's some gender happening here but it gets a little lost under the love(?) triangle.

A knights tale (2001)

Just go watch some more medieval nonsense, it's good for you, its fun.

White chicks (2004)

I'm not defending this choice, it's a good movie. "You were thinking it" "Yeah but you said it" there are some phrases you could use to see if I had been replaced with a body double and this is one of them.

Heathers (1988)

Ouughhgh ough oh. Personality trait. Watched this because I kept listening to the musical soundtrack, love both but agree the themes are much tighter in the movie. This is just a fun schlock to tell teens life is stupid and difficult and bad things will happen, so don't abandon your friends.

Priscilla queen of the desert (1994)

Classic homo fillum, if you wonder why I write Gilbert Like That it's partially because of the mean little fruit from this movie. It's about the Aussie drag scene and who belongs in the queer community.

300 (2006)

I'm not sure that I would call this a "good" movie, but it's a classic as far as I'm concerned. This is the "THIS IS SPARTA" movie.

The foreigner (2017)

I actually don't remember the plot of this one too solidly but the suspense and action were solid, and I enjoyed the setup. Good for if you wanna be really pissed off for two hours.

Conan the barbarian (1982)

Look at me. Look into my eyes. You're going to watch this movie. You're going to think about the wheel of pain and you're going to go wow, this is so stupid. Don't look away I'm not done. You're going to watch this movie and then you're going to get a couple of paper towel tubes and find someone to beat the shit out of each other with the tubes.

Law abiding citizen (2009)

I don't know I think watching this movie changed my brain chemistry in very special ways. Guy fucking loses it and becomes a problem for his local community by kidnapping and torturing people who killed his family. Cathartic and vile.

Black dog (1998)

:D DO YOU WANNA WATCH AN ACTION MOVIE ABOUT AN 18-WHEELER?

The hunt for red october (1990)

Almost forgot this one. Lithuanian Submariner off the shits, goes rogue, I'm not sure what accent Sean Connery is going for, I get the impression he just showed up to gigs and did whatever he wanted.

[max-nico]

Last night I had the weirdest dream but it would make a really good fic if I'm fr. The only part I remember vividly is the part where Tails fell into a cave, I guess it's more like the ground opened under him and swallowed him whole lol. So obvs his friends start looking for him after he doesn't make it to where they're all supposed to meet up at.

Kitsunami (who was very much not part of the search party) ends up accidentally finding him after finding a different entrance to the cave, except instead the ground opening up under him he finds the actual entrance. The ground ends up being super slippery so instead of just having a normal time, he falls, and ends up somehow tumbling all the way to the bottom of the cave.

Now from this part of the dream on I only had access to whatever Kit was seeing for whatever reason. He finds Tails pretty quickly, even tho he didn't know he was even lost and they end up having to work together to get out. This cave system was super weird too, it was a bottom layer that had water up to their knees, a higher layer that was essentially an ocean, an upper layer that was desolate but an actual maze, and then there was ground level. Maybe that's just how caves work but I don't think it is.

So this whole dream is dark, Tails had a flashlight that helped a little. They escaped the bottom layer by chipping into the ice above them to get into the ocean layer. (Unrealistic note, the water did not flood in, it just stayed at the top and they had to jump to get up there lol) How did they breathe here? I don't remember ! I do remember there being little bits of land they could walk on tho, and the only reason I remember that is bc at one point Tails had this scary ass look on his face that I can literally only describe as fear incarnate, but he wouldn't let me(kit) turn around to look at what made him look like that, so I have no clue what he saw and he acted completely off for the rest of the dream too. (<- this is common for me when I have nightmares, people in dreams tend to direct me away from the scary things and not let me look at them, but I suppose after having only nightmares for 4 years your brain has to protect itself somehow lol)

After the water layer they got to the dry layer, I don't really remember a lot from this. My most vivid memory is Tails pulling Kit out of the water with a queasy look on his face, there's a few moments of walking I remember, but nothing really interesting.

Then they were out of the cave, once again from a completely different entrance, then I don't know lol. I know Sonic and Amy show up but past that I have no clue, after that I started dreaming about school.

Some visual cave representation for you bc I remember this so clearly, I literally got up, unplugged my phone, and immediately started typing this.

Bottom layer

But instead of just rock, imagine a mix of solid white ice, crystal, and rock, and also it's really really REALLY dark lol. It's over all just a confined, claustrophobic space. There's barely enough room for the two to fit in there standing up, im sure if Sonic was there he would have to crouch

Middle layer

I have a huge fear of large bodies of water, as well as caves, as well as the dark. This contains all three. As I stated there were obviously air pockets somewhere around here but def don't remember how they got there lol

Top layer

Keep in mind, it's still WAY darker than this lol, but this is the last layer before the surface. Just a giant maze of rock and maybe a few crystals, very backrooms core lol.

[twig-tea]

Under the Oak Tree: How Do I Talk About This Show?

The Vietnamese musical BL Under the Oak Tree ended today (after a delay from last week for political reasons that affected all Vietnamese shows).

The music in this show is great. Full disclosure I am coming at it from a place of liking Vietnamese OSTs and Musicals, so I was definitely primed to enjoy it. But they do a great job underscoring the big moments with appropriate music, including very fun villain songs. You can get a taste of the music style in this teaser:

The story is...a rollercoaster lol This show has a lot going on. We go from cute high school romance to gang threats to parental trauma to forced outings and life-ruining betrayals to a timeskip and a twist and an ending that could be read as either very dark or a happy ending, depending on your preference.

My biggest critique is that the romantic relationship is not actually the core of the story; it's actually the protagonist and his friend who betrays him that are the core of the plot, especially in the last few episodes. That relationship gets worked on, but the core romance is just kind of treated as an afterthought.

That being said, there is a lot I loved about this too. There's a Lord of the Rings fantasy sequence that is fantastic, and there's a really interesting exploration of revenge and how satisfying it is (or isn't) that I found fun to watch play out. I also really loved that these were gay characters from jump (neither Dang nor Khanh really wrestled with their attraction to the other), and these actors can kiss.

Also just to say Vuong Huy did a great job, but it was sooooo nice to see some of the familiar faces again, especially in episodes 8-10! I love Duc Duy, Duy Lam, Gia Huy, and KaiBie, who have all been in several Vietnamese BLs before (Duy Lam and Gia Huy have costarred before in shows like Beef, Cupcakes, and Him, Duc Duy has played opposite Ba Vinh in The Most Peaceful Place, and KaiBie has been around since Hey! First Love, just to name a few highlights from their CVs).

If this sounds intriguing to you, Under the Oak Tree is 10 episodes, 30-40 mins each, on YouTube.

Discussion of my thoughts on the ending after the cut!

Ok, so MAJOR spoilers ahead.

Under the Oak Tree takes place mostly in 2011, but then there's a 15 year timeskip in episode 8. We find out over the course of episodes 8-10 that in 2011, after Linh betrays Khanh by lying that she saw him steal money from the band, Khanh's mother dies from shock at hearing him confess to the crime (in order to prevent Dang from being punished for defending him even in the face of Linh's eyewitness evidence). Khanh leaves Dang and the small town of Da Lat for the big city, remaking himself and his life. He runs into Linh, who has since married Dang, and pretends to befriend her and let bygones be bygones so that he can infiltrate her company and set her up to be ruined. As the final piece de resistance for his betrayal, he kisses Dang, and Linh falls down the stairs in shock and ends up in a coma.

This is the part where I think opinions will differ. Linh ends up in a kind of limbo, in which she has to either agree to go to hell and be tortured, or sit and watch her own memories over and over, unable to change them. She spends a lot of time unwilling to admit that she did anything wrong, but sitting and watching herself over and over seems to get to her and she comes to terms with the fact that she's caused terrible pain.

Khanh goes to see her in her coma, and yells at her that this is too easy, she needs to live so that she can be tortured knowing what she's done. We then get a sequence from Linh's perspective in which Khanh visits her in limbo and they reconcile and go back in time together to fix the past.

This is the part that could be read as dark if you're me lol. On it's surface, the show essentially wrote fix-it fic for itself; Linh never betrays Khanh, so his mother doesn't die, he doesn't move away, and he never leaves Dang. We leave Dang and Khanh happy and together and on the road to becoming musicians to fulfill their dreams as a team, with Linh owning a coffee shop seeming pretty content. But at the end Linh asks whether this is all real, or all in her mind, and Khanh replies that maybe her memories of the other future are what are all in her mind. It's left a little ambiguous.

That being said, the show also was careful to say that we cannot actually go back and fix the past. So the read that this happy ending is all in Linh's head while she's in a coma is a dark but realistic one.

I also need to talk about Dang and Khanh. In the present/future, Dang and Khanh are arguably not actually in love anymore; they're both too resentful of everything that's come before. This is the part that feels unreconciled to me; while Khanh and Linh got to work through their issues, Dang and Khanh never get to have that conversation, because in the revised past, Dang doesn't share the memories of the future that Khanh and Linh have, so he doesn't know who he hand Khanh became in this other timeline. He says explicitly that he believes no matter what, they'll always love each other and never leave one another; but we know that's not quite true. The smile that Khanh gives him after that speech seems a little sad to me.

I would have loved a little more time for Khanh and Dang to reconcile; for Dang to more fully own his part in not supporting Khanh in the face of his friends ruining Khanh's life, and in marrying Linh even after her betrayal, instead of going to find Kanh or at the least staying true to himself. And I would have loved Khanh to own up to giving up on Dang when things were difficult (to be fair to him, things were extremely difficult--this is another instance of a poor character in love with a rich character whose life gets ruined because of that relationship, while the rich character's life stays essentially the same), and making his life about revenge at any cost to anyone, including Dang, rather than just living for his own future happiness. With all of that hanging over them, it's hard to believe in their forever, even if the new timeline is real and not a coma dream.

Anyway! I really did have a lot of fun watching the show and the wild swings of emotional turns; I also feel like I understated how much I really love these songs. This show won't be for everyone, it's hard to recommend as a blanket statement, but to save you scrolling back up: if this sounds intriguing to you, it's 10 episodes, 30-40 mins each, on YouTube!

[tiredassmage]

🖊 + may i hear your thoughts about whoever is on your mind.. a crumb of meowmeow...

*coughs.* I've held onto this for way longer than I ever thought I would or planned to and since we all are missing Tyr (affectionate), I'm going to attempt to put some Tyr content on the feed. I am only slightly sorry that it's the heartbreaking, feels-filled and fueled kind, lol.

So! *claps my hands together* We're going to need a spoiler cut because I'm going to talk about the Nathema Conspiracy again. Maybe properly for once. Because boy howdy is there a lot Tyr Deckard has never unpacked about the implications of the Nathema Conspiracy! [Edit: and some. Agent specific and other general story spoilers from before that point as well. General advice: this post is for after the Nathema Conspiracy arc is resolved, lol]

Iokath and onward has really interesting implications with Tyr for a boatload of reasons, really. As Alliance Commander, the decision to ally with the Republic on Iokath puts him in opposition with Acina - who, if memory is serving correctly and if not is just my own personal taste of how the story plays - is serving around the Dark Council and eventually on it in the era where Tyr was actively serving in Imperial Intelligence, or at least shortly after it. While I can't claim to have successfully completed the Dread Masters nor the Seeker droid questlines because of those sneaky little operations and heroics they tacked on at the end of those quest lines, I've sent Tyr to work for Acina on early Dread Seed investigations at least once, and to say the least, it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Certainly her remarks on Iokath do the same - it solidifies that impression, the story as Tyr knows it, that he's only been as good as his work wasn't too much of a risk for the Empire, and for the Council in particular.

Which is kind of its whole own separate ramble that isn't what I said we'd talk about, but I'm not sure I've really publicly discussed it and foggily I think it's only been implied in some of my older fic writing here or there. Which... is a bit of a shame, really. Empress Acina nearly seems like a Sith he might be able to work with, up until that moment. Intelligence should have retired you when they had the chance - the kind of proof for Tyr's opinion that the Empire hasn't changed in the nearly twenty years he's spent in his Intelligence career. In hindsight, it probably feels foolish to have ever considered maybe some experience would've taught her something, to give just enough belief that the Empire might finally have a leader that would take it in a direction of improvement, but... Unfortunately, nothing that happens there and after really gives him much time to linger on it.

But, again, that's... a different podcast for a different day, as I've fondly picked up from a recent professor, lol.

SO. About the actual promised subject of this post, lol! I always have to be very careful introducing Tyr in my mind palace to the traitor arc as a story piece in general because... here's the thing... Tyr's incredibly loyal, at his core. But he's loyal in the way that he'll tear himself apart to save you the trouble of trying to do the same thing. His loyalty is the kind where he asks to be told the truth so he can lie for you.

And also the kind of loyalty where he'd pull a trigger on you for the sake of a long-term bigger picture outcome where you might be better off. Were the roles much different, Tyr very easily could've been the Alliance traitor, and unfortunately for anyone he cares for, I know he'd sell the role hook, line, and sinker. Which for now is just sort of a thought exercise @ho1ythunder and I like to torture our blorbos in occasionally, for the most part, rather than... a primary version of events, if you will. But it's a very interesting and chewy one because very few other instances tempt Tyr to show his loyalty in such a spectacularly disastrous (for himself and others) fashion, and therefore I think a lot of those closest to Tyr just... don't really. know, entirely, that he's... that way. He's incredibly good at masking such edges in the careful dance of duties he performs.

His loyalty and his saying he'd never (like to) hurt the people he cares for is no less genuine for this reality of him, certainly. But Tyr Deckard is not a man who does anything by halves, and on a gamble like the one against the Heralds for the sake of the Alliance and a Commander he'd trust and be loyal to? That's the last job in the galaxy to ever do by halves, if he wants even half a shot at it actually working in the Alliance's favor.

Tyr's the type that would end up in the Alliance either way, likely - very likely as an Intelligence asset, if not finally in a directing and overseeing operations role by that point in his life and career. He's likely worked with Lana practically from the start on locating the Outlander; they already served fairly close together in Sith Intelligence and Tyr is... not really the type to stay idle about something like Zakuul. He was already uneasy in the Empire given his... sympathies and mission history, after all, and the Republic's just as deep up Schitt Creek, if you will, about Zakuul, so defection to the SIS isn't really an ideal option at that point anymore.

The Alliance was where he could do the most good. He believes in that idea - of pulling together both sides, of forging something new and possibly better to confront something bigger than any one of them. And as Nine, he's played more than his fair share of spy games with shadow organizations - from the Star Cabal to the Shroud to the Revanites.

Regardless of how the Eternal Throne is resolved, unrest is almost a given with that much change going down in Zakuul. With the resources of Alliance Intelligence, it's... no stretch to consider someone with Tyr's track record could hunt down the Heralds. And it maybe should be little surprise he'd infiltrate them and play along to try to get information.

Unfortunately up to and including setting up an Umbaran train incident. To put the business end of a blaster against someone he likely respects and trusts. Someone he could even be quite close with.

Because he promised he'd never let a threat like the Heralds get that deep, that close to destroying what you've built.

Or, if you've been... less kind... Well. Tyr's had a bit of enough of his life being out of his own hands. Still, it's a lot of deaths on the line. A lot of lives.

Either way, the Heralds have to be stopped.

Infiltration. Assassination. Manipulation. All specialties of your ex-Cipher. Is it really any wonder he'd go so far? A doubt he's not above planting himself. For the sake of the cover. For the sake of keeping enough of Atrius's faith in his commitment and ability to follow through to figure out what he needs to gain the Alliance an edge it desperately needs.

And that is all interesting enough, I'd say! But no, I couldn't ever be that nice to him. I have to go and make sure Shara Jenn's involved regardless of him not being the main character! Because frankly Shara's reappearance on Nathema could ALSO probably be its own post and Tyr to this day STILL hasn't unraveled for me how he feels about it (his argument is that she already said there's nothing for them to discuss. And he can do many things; raise the dead and make amends with them is not among them). So her with a Tyr that's actually working for the Alliance within the Heralds is EXTRA chewy and interesting!

Because I like to believe she still remembers enough about how he works. Still remembers the younger Cipher Nine that stood against Darth Jadus, with no backup available and only her in his ear for advice, and argued with her that the human cost of the Eradicators was unacceptable. Her idealistic underneath the pragmatic facade of a well-trained operative Cipher Nine that defied the second most powerful living Sith, likely knowing full well it was likely a futile gamble with his own life.

That Cipher Nine doesn't match the work of the Heralds here. Oh, sure, they talk, they make nice. Maybe even rekindle a bit of those lost nights shared between them on Dromund Kaas nearly a lifetime ago now. But they're both playing a game.

A part of him still loves her - loves the woman he used to know. He may never have been able to fully trust her again after the Castellans - it was hard for him to trust anyone, but it made what he felt for her no less real. Maybe the same parts of her that are suspicious of his working against the Heralds' goals, the same parts that likely drive her to share advice with Atrius that this ex-Cipher she knows can't really be trusted outside of arm's reach... Maybe those same parts of her would like to still trust him.

But it doesn't matter. Imperial Intelligence is still gone. Cipher Nine's an Imperial ghost story. And it's been a long time since she's answered to Keeper of Operations Division.

And it's this... nexus of everything, everything it costs that... Normally, if it had been just any One of these acts in isolation...

If it'd just been the train. If it'd just been putting a blaster bolt through a trusted ally and friend? He likely could live with doing it again.

But all of it? An ultimate accusation from Atrius that he's betrayed everything and everyone he's ever claimed to hold loyalty for?

Imperial Intelligence for the deal with Ardun Kothe. Shara, for the same deal. He turned his back on Sith Intelligence to run off on this 'ghost hunt' with Lana. He's betrayed the Alliance now as well.

And all of that still nearly cost the Alliance everything. It almost didn't work. It nearly kills him. The hope he had for Shara to have made it out of this web of lies and madness that mired Intelligence in its cannibalization is utterly extinguished by her even being involved with the Heralds. He couldn't save her.

Was it worth it..? Was the cost... really worth it? Even in victory? Even though there's an Alliance left to judge his actions?

Little else - perhaps... nothing else he's done or survived has ever... really felt too far. But this would be. This was, he painfully realizes once the act's already finished. When there's nothing left but sparking machinery and the tang of blood on his tongue.

He might not be able to bear to ask for forgiveness, the bitterness of it all is so strong. He couldn't believe he'd deserve it, for what he's done. For what it's cost.

But will you? Could you? Enough to make him live with the guilt and the shame.

And if you could, well... Cipher Nine might finally cede he's been at this perhaps... too long. Another call like that.... It shouldn't have happened in the first place.

And THAT. That!!!!! To find a scenario where someone like Tyr, who... I'd say almost doesn't know how to quit. He doesn't just... give up, on anything. I'm sure a fair few would wish it'd take less to make him consider slowing down, to finally hang up the drive to be something like Atlas, with the weight of everything always upon his shoulders. But... damn, it sure is chewy something finally could. >:3

Tyr Vaiken Deckard, the man that you are etc etc. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[froznwater]

I love your writing!!! Got any tips on how to make describe like inner dialogue or description?

First: thank you so much :DD Im happy to hear that you love my writing. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASK!!! &lt;33 For tips on making descriptions for inner monologue keep reading!!(use this at your own discretion):

I think fanfiction writing and actual book writing can be quite different. Many of the things I do and use are not exactly the way one would want to execute an actual fully fleshed story.

I do a lot of telling.

But, its fanfiction. And I know(from experience) being given inner ramblings that talk about how the character is feeling is appealing. (About every little romantical thought.) And very useful when you are working with a shorter word count.

A: Know your character. Watch the show/read the material/whatever you need to do. Your main goal is to see things from their perspective. Pick up on the main things about them. Are they optimistic or pessimistic? Are they confident? Are they short and to the point, or do they nervously go on and on? Maybe they talk prolifically, but still in run-ons. Consider everything. Personality, background, goals. This will help keep you in character.

B: I think really going in hard on the realistic part of thinking is charming. It's not all perfectly pieced together. It can be chaotic. You can recall memories or dialogue for the character to reference. Because in your own mind, that's what you would do. Sentence structure can be used to keep attention, and draw attention. I recommend looking into it.

A lot of my inner thoughts for the characters are me thinking throughout the day. I write down lines. Thoughts from here and there. And then later I string them together and add details around them. I think, "Wow, Noah would think x of y." I write down this thought, then think of how to phrase it in the story, then add things to make it more realistic/give it depth.

I write down whatever scenes I think of. Almost every chapter I analyze what my character is doing, what is he thinking, why he is thinking it. I have pages where I just write notes in the middle of class for my fic when an idea comes to me. Below is a couple picture examples. In the second picture, you'll see a core conversation that made it into the fic, edited and reworked a bit. I wrote that back in October.

C: Edit. A lot of my editing is me actually making the thoughts moreeee real. I add in snipey one-liners to Noah or Alejandro's thoughts. Some of the lines people say "omg that was actually funny" are me going back in, and thinking that humor could help break up this chunk of emotion. I try my BEST to make Noah and Alejandro feel individual in their own brain-space. Noah is very down on himself, where Alejandro praises. I try to keep Alejandro's talking mannerisms where I can. Sometimes spanish, sometimes dancing around saying something. Noah is short. Choppy. Lots of sarcasm and references.

Dont be afraid to just BLAH all over the page. And then delete and move and break up. Errr, I hope this is what you were looking forr!!