#i adore this community and want to stay as long as you’ll have me

[fitpacs]

,

[theautisticwriter]

Love Letters: Yandere! Hazbin Hotel characters X G/N Reader

Characters- Charlie Morningstar, Vaggie, Alastor, Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty, Sir Pentious, Lucifer Morningstar, Vox

Show- Hazbin Hotel

Genre- yandere, romantic

Summary- Mini love letters from your not so secret stalkers admirers!

Warnings- yandere themes, swearing, stalking, virtual stalking, threats, unwanted attention, delusional characters, mentions of planned kidnapping, pet names

Word count- 1.7k

Extra notes- Alastor’s part is platonic, he’s platonically in love with you!

key: n/n = nickname, y/n = your name, g/n = gender neutral

———————————————————

Hi N/n!

Oh my gosh, it’s been so long since i’ve sent you a letter! I’m so sorry! The hotel has been sooooooooo busy! But don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you, how could I? You’re all I think about!

I’m excited to tell you i’ve been decorating your room at the hotel! Of course, when you come here you can redecorate if you wish to! Whatever makes you the happiest sweetie! Or, you could even share my room!

I can’t wait to come get you, I really do think you’ll like it here. We’ve all worked so hard to make this place as welcoming as possible, and you’ll warm up to the other residents and staff after a little bit of time! They can be a bit much at the beginning, but don’t worry your pretty little head, I wouldn’t put you in danger. The hotel is super safe, especially now that my dad is helping too!

Please write back, at least once? You haven’t responded to any of my letters, and Razzle told me you kept throwing them out ☹. Unless you use your trash can as extra storage, I’m not sure why all my letters keep ending up there!

Nevertheless, I’ll retrieve all the letters when you move in, and we can look through them together and reminisce about our adorable beginnings.

Yours truly,

Charlie Morningstar!! ༘⋆-ˋˏ

———————————————————

Dear Y/n,

I understand that these letters started to freak you out, and that’s why I haven’t sent any in a while, but I felt like I needed to continue writing to you. It’s our only way of communication right now, so until you move into the hotel, this will have to do.

It’s hard to write down my feelings for you, I can’t ever seem to find the right words which must be why you didn’t understand that these are love letters. I’m not some creepy guy trying to kidnap you, I love you and want to finally bring you home as soon as possible.

Charlie is still working out the details of your stay, but she’ll be finished soon, I promise. Would you like your own room or to share mine? If you write back, we could discuss your personal preference towards the rooming situation?

You’ll get used to this, to us, soon enough. I have no ill intent towards you, I’m the only person in this shithole that actually cares about you and your safety. I can keep you safe, I can, I will.

I’ll see you soon, y/n.

Stay safe,

Vaggie

———————————————————

Salutations, Dearest!

Aren’t letters just marvellous? Texting and calling is merely a phase, the “old fashioned way” as sinners call it, is the only correct way. It shows effort, thought and has a charm to it that this technology nonsense lacks immensely.

You’ll be with me soon, and once you are we’ll get rid of all your electronic devices. Radio will be enough to keep you entertained, I assure you my dear. It would be such a treat if you tuned into one of my broadcasts, since you are the only viewer I wish to listen. You could listen to me, whilst I watch you, how splendid!

As much as this hazbin hotel is doomed to fail, I do believe it is a safe residency for us to stay at for the time being. Your current accommodation is far too lacking in the security department, from personal experience, I can confirm it is quite easy to get inside. Of course, I can get anywhere you are no matter what you or anyone else tries to do, but I didn’t even have to try! That’s no good, now is it?

Don’t fret, my dear. All will be well once you’re under my official protection and guidance. Nothing will get in our way, you have my word.

The radio demon,

A̰̠̼͚̗̫̳ͥ͐̆̃̄͑̊̈̕͝l̳̤̲͗͆ą̺̝̺͚̔̔̄ş̴̠͓̞̹̀͋ͯ̀ͣͫ_̧̩t̺͈ͩ̎͒͒ͅơ̵̢̧̫͇̦̫͇̟̰̯̞̝̻͇͍̯̩͕̌ͪ̀͋ͧ͗̏ͥͥ̇ͦͯ͗̀ͫ̏̽̈̚͡͞r

———————————————————

Hey, n/n!

You deleted all your socials, what gives?? You’re making me write letters now? I mean, i’m not against letters, they’re real romantic and shit, but dming you was so much easier babe. Was some fucker harassing you? I’ll torture the shit out of them, just give me a name toots.

Anyways, it’s not like it really matters, letters and texting, we’ll be SPEAKING in person pretty soon ;) I can’t wait to see that gorgeous face right in front of my (equally gorgeous) face. This face makes money baby, money that I can drown you in. Whatever you want, i’ve got you covered. Isn’t that exciting? Something to look forward to for you, besides living with me, which is a huge upgrade from your shitty house right now

Fat nuggets (our pet pig btw) can’t wait to meet you! He’s real cuddly, as am I, so don’t ever worry about feeling lonely with us here. Our room is filled with soft fluffy crap, all yours for the taking!

I’ll see you soon cutie,

Your Angel Dust 𓆩♡𓆪

———————————————————

To Y/n,

This is a fucking hassle, writing letters, you know that? You need to quit whining and come down to this shitty hotel before I come bring you here myself. It’s not so bad here, once you get used to it. And the people are fucking annoying, but they mean well. Unlike those dicks you hang around with, I don’t trust them, and trust me, I can spot a prick with my eyes closed.

I’ve rented you a room in the hotel, next door to mine. I paid with my own fucking money, which I earned at this stupid bar, so be grateful. I could of bought a lot of booze with that cash, but I saved it up for you. Niffty cleaned it real nice for you, so stop taking so long. You have two more days before I start moving your shit.

Hate me all you want, it’s for your own good. People don’t often realise what they need, but I’m a bartender, I know people more than they think. And I know you more than anyone else.

Two days, y/n.

Regards,

Husker 𑁤

———————————————————

Hihi!!!!!!!!

It’s Niffty! You know that though, right? Nobody else is sending you letters right y/n??!?!! Tell me they aren’t, tell me i’m the only girl in hell who’s sending you love letters!! Alastor said it’s the most romantic thing to do for someone sweet like you, so if anyone else is that means they like you! >:(((

I like you n/n! I like you more than anyone else does, I pinky swear it!!

Your house needs a clean, I came in last night through your window and did your kitchen real good, but then you woke up and I had to go :(( Your room at the hotel is sooo super clean, because I clean it every 3 hours to make sure there’s no bugs. I eat them for you, don’t worry n/n.

It’s gonna be sooo fun when you move in with me, we’re gonna do so much together! I’ve made you a crown too!!

Niffty :DDD

P.S, I hope you like the ant I stuck to the envelope, I picked him just for you!

———————————————————

My beloved Y/n,

It has been far too long since we last corresponded, my sincerest apologises. How are you? I hope the answer is well, but how could you be without your prince beside you? I am restless without you as i’m sure you are without me. I’ll fix this little problem, not to worry! I am worthy of your affections, I’ll prove it to you til the end of my afterlife. Which is infinite! Because I am very brave, and incredibly powerful!

My attempts to join the overlords are not going as planned, but once again, do not fear my love! In a few years we shall rule side by side! My minions are excited to meet you, they will guard you with their pathetic little lives and answer your every call! Unless you asked to leave, they won’t let you do that, but you wouldn’t ask that! You’ll be happy with me, right?

Right?

Please I needyouineedyouineedyou

Haha, ignore that scribble! The eggs pushed my arm whilst I was writing.

I’ll see you soon my dearest,

Yours forever,

Sir Pentious (your future husband and future overlord)

———————————————————

My Y/n,

How are you doing sweetheart? I’m doing great, yes, totally, I’m always great! I’m the king of hell! What’s there to be depressed about? Everything Nothing at all, everything’s perfect my end! It would be much better with you by my side however, what do you think? I think so.

I can give you anything you want, do anything you want, be anything you want! I can give you everything, and you can give me, well, you! Your hand in unholy marriage, your smile. Anything you want to give me, I’ll adore.

Sorry, that’s awfully sappy isn’t it? Do you like that sort of thing? I hope so, I hope you’re feeling valued by my words and my letters. I haven’t gotten one back yet, which is totally okay! You’re probables super busy, and that’s okay! You can tell me everything you want to when I bring you to my palace (that’s where we will live, it’s big, and very expensive, i’m rich by the way)

Anywho, my daughter needs my help today at her little hotel, so I’ll send this to you before I go. Charlie will love you, and you’ll love her. And me

Forever and always yours,

Lucifer (I’m a king by the way :P)

———————————————————

N/n,

This letter in itself is a sign of how much I care about you, because I do not write letters to people. Throwing out all your electronics and the cameras I put in your house hasn’t helped your little rebellion. I’ll just have to get you sooner than planned, which isn’t a problem for me. I was hoping to court you for longer, but you’ve pressed my buttons sweetheart.

You were very thorougher with your search for all the tech in your house, you got everything. Which i’ll give you credit babe, is impressive considering how much I put in there. Who knew you were so smart? It’s almost cute, if it wasn’t so hopeless.

I’m not sorry for what’s to come, my methods aren’t moral but, hey, who the fuck is moral down here? I am sorry for the emotional distress you’ll endure, but it must be done. You’ll get over it, i’ll make sure of it.

By the time this reaches you, I’ll be outside. Make sure you answer the door for me, kay?

𝕍𝕠𝕩

———————————————————

[theastrical]

genshin men and their way of apologising

Genshin men and their ways of apologising.

kaeya, diluc, childe, (alhaitham, zhongli, kaveh on pt.2) x reader (fem!reader diluc)

ps: it’s comfort/hurt, a bit angsty but with fluffy ending!! Also if you guys have triggers with cursing, this content has cursing/verbal scolding implications so please mind that before reading!

Kaeya:

“stop doing this and that..you’ll end up being a burden.” He shuts off the door and locks it. You were just trying to help him, and unfortunately, he doesn’t like it. This happens quiet a lot, where he closed off all part of himself in order to heal himself…that’s okay, at first, but what about you? You’re hurt and he kept you out just like that; is he here to wound your heart just like the other exes who grew apart from you?

And when you start to lose your patience, he can’t do nothing about it, right? He’s just there to hurt-hurt-and make you feel as if you in deserve of such a treatment. You cried, it felt weird to cry over kaeya. He has been sweet, yes, you never doubted once that his act are truly meant for you, but at what certain point did you do to make him immediately switch up? You didn’t know, you never know. He never wanted to communicate, that’s the problem.

“if you don’t want me to help you, that’s fine, just please kaeya…talk to me like i’m a human, not somebody you can use when you’re happy. I also need a set of time to heal.” You say that-an automatic reply set on your brain to confront him even if it’s not face to face. Now door to door-you just scold him and leave.

It took him a huge amount of time to heal. he knows what he has done can’t be undone. Listening to your cries become his worst fear, he can’t just stand in front of your eyes and say sorry, he knows that wouldn’t work. That enough explains how much he hates apologising; because his apologies always ended up with him crushing over the burden of his sins.

That’s why, the next day, in the morning when you woke up. Kaeya is already there beside your bedside. Folding your palm between his. His head on the floor.

“i’ve taken your words and…* he sighs before continuing. “Apologies don’t really matter if i don’t change my attitudes, so please, if you’re still willing to give me one more chance, can i have the privilege to change, at least, for you?”…he stays quiet for a while. “Lastly, i’m sorry, i know all i did these yesterday and these past few months weren’t tolerable. I understand if you would hate me for this.”..he looks up to you, his eyes are already watery. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He hugs you and that felt so good…

A mark on your neck was left, a few peck it took for him to finally calm down. And he looks at you with a smile, even when his eyes are puffy. “I love you..thank you for still being here.”

Diluc:

Diluc came home quite late, it was unusual and it worries you, after all, since the day you married him. He had never been this late-he always come home with a huge surprise which is food…for obvious reason (he’s wants you to eat instead of cooking him a meal since he knew how exhausting it can be).

you were just about to ring up his phone-and suddenly a slam from the door was heard. You came to the first floor and..there’s diluc! “Diluc!” You grin, as always, you warmly greeted him, because it’s your husband, it’s diluc, what more reason to make you adore him?

You tried to help him get his bag and put off his jacket…but his bag was so heavy…whatever does he put inside his bag? Why is it so h— oh no! The bag suddenly hit your coffee cup and spilled the remaining coffee to the bag…now his bag is tainted with coffee and he-who saw that scene in front of him can’t even hide his raging eyes. Before one word to spit out-he gives off a long sigh-squinting his eyes.

“Why…sigh…it’s always you, you AND YOU who makes the worst mistake OVER AND OVER AGAIN! In the WORST TIMING AS WELL, CAN YOU—“ you replied, cutting off his words. “I-i’m so sorry diluc…i’ll help you with th—“ , “CAN YOU STOP CUTTING MY WORDS? Listen to me lady, it’s not about the bag or the papers, its about your presence…why helping you when you can’t even help yourself fix these problems, you’re helpless.”

He said that like a drunk man with no sanity behind his eyes, yet, this time, he’s actually sober, so sober he already pulled off that bag from your grip... He’s losing his patience and you know his words are the truth…still it hurts way too much. Why? Because it’s diluc, the one you called husband. tears fell and you don’t know what to do. It’s like your body doesn’t know how to move.

You look at his eyes, your mind went blank. You can sense his anger, but the tears never stop from your eyes. It’s like you just got hit by a truck. You try to left the living room to the bedroom upstair. At the same time diluc realise his action-you’re already up there-on the stair.

As soon as your foot step into the bedroom. You slowly loses the ability to numb the tears. You lay down on the comfy covers and then just cry. Sniffling. Without words, just cry and cry and cry. Realising that it was your mistake but..it hurts when he struck you with the truth that you’re useless in his eyes.

Diluc didn’t pay mind to pride when it comes to apologizing. Hence, when he heard the sniffling become louder in each breathe you took. He storms to the bedroom and hold your body to his embrace. Covering you from his face. Covering you from the cowardice and guilt he has to face. Securing you from his words..comforting you with his presence.

“sorry princess…don’t bother looking at my face if it means you’ll hate me…i don’t deserve the sight of your eyes…i don’t deserve anything.” He hugs you closer and strokes your hair, within each stroke, it felt like his hands have just won you again. “Thank you for helping me, it ease me a lot—that’s the word you need and i’m unable to fulfil that right..here i am, rejecting you, not acknowledging the effort you took just to wait for me.” He kisses your forehead before carrying you to sit on his lap. “but do believe that i’ll fix this mistake and beg on your knees if you need me to...” he look at your eye despite you not giving him a sight of your puffy eye.

“Anything for a second chance, for my princess.”

Childe:

you really love cooking. It’s something that nobody really knows-cause not evedybody has seen you cook or even taste the food you cook. You’re known to be secretive about everything; Even childe being your husband, only 2 of your 100 friends know-especially with the fact that topic is on your top 10 secret list.

And being in a marriage with childe means you’ll cook 24/7, which at first seems fine with you-but lately, you’ve been losing interest in cooking. It’s like..whatever you make is just a rating of ”it’s okay” for childe. It’s like he doesn’t even bother appreciating your food. So today, you’re trying to confront him…

He’s in a badmood-that’s why he doesn’t bother to try and reach out to you. Though it’ll be very thoughtful if you actually make him his comfort food right? And maybe if you did so, he would’ve complimented your cooking? Right! So you did and you’re so happy with the result! It taste perfect! So you began serving it onto the small bowl and put the food in front of him, you immediately get some spoonful of the food and put it inside his mouth-which is hot-like BURNING HOT. You know you fucked up so badly, so you get some water for him before he said “fuck!” so casually.

“W-what’s wrong..? Sorry i burned your tongue, i really am..!!! Please dr—“ he immediately cut you off. “No…i don’t want to eat dinner, the food doesn’t even taste good…” oh. “and thank you for burning my tongue as well! It certainly helps!.” He mocked you. “Now i can speak while enduring the pain! Right! That’s what you want your husband to feel, right?” He happily grins, a mockery. Childe immediately walked out of the dining room like a child.

And he scoffs silently on the hallway, even though it’s easy enough for you to listen because he talks to himself like he talks to another being. “I should’ve just searched for another person..i can’t stay with an idiot…” and that push you towards a realization that childe always have think of you as somebody who isn’t worth of his time. It’s like reality finally gives you a sign that he’s just one lucky pull you got. You didn’t cry. It gives you a numbing feeling, an empty one.

You sat on the dining table, taking out your apron, you get some bowl of the food and eat it by yourself. Because, like childe said, he wouldn’t eat dinner, so why bother waiting for somebody who can’t even appreciate you?

Eating alone is such a complex feeling, especially in a marriage. It feels lonely but peaceful. At least it can make your mind steady for whatever coming afterwards. You did feel a bit better but..the pain of his words never left you. It never did. It just makes the heart feel more numb as the seconds passed.

You sighed and…there he is, all shy and embarrassed behind the walls, he has been spying on you since 30 minutes ago…he’s guilty as charged. When you see him, you ignored him, immediately. Not wanting to share another eye contact with that man who have insulted your ways of loving him.

He follows you and hold onto your arm before you go elsewhere, who knows what will you do if his arms didn’t hold yours. Childe is embarrassed-guilt on his face and a coward on his heart. He made you wait for a good 5 minutes, he was waiting for you to say something..but instead, childe was met with cold air.

“i’m a loser for insulting your way of loving me. I’m dramatic. I’m a brat. I’m everything that you don’t want in a man.” His head can’t even meet yours. After all, your eyes are blank and it pierces his soul. “You don’t need to give me second chance. You don’t need to treat me right after what i’ve done. A bad deed is a bad deed.” With the courage of the final sentence; he hold onto your hand and kisses your fingertips. “I will win that cold heart of yours again and again, if it means i can live with you in every life to come.”

[planetsstarsandmoons]

Synastry observations based on personal experience, part 4:

(18+!!!)

Mars/venus first house overlay: gets a bad reputation, because people feel like this overlay is ‘superficial’ due to the fact that the first house signifies what people show of their personality to the outside, aka their ‘looks’ and also their physical appearance. They forget that what you externalise in the house of the externalised ego is you, your ego. That’s you! Your ego is a very deep and important thing about you. For some people it’s a more important than for others of course. The way you dress, laugh, look and walk and look, that *is* a deep aspect about your personality. Like those things *are* personal. For some people like mars or venus dominant people it’s the ideal placement, because this is a fiery placement keeps people from being ~bored~ with who the other is, which often happens in a bad marriage. It’s why this aspect is called thee great aspect for marriage. It’s great!

Venus opposite saturn: does not pose as big of an issue if the people have either venus in 10th house or saturn in 7th house natally. There is more acceptance, understanding and ‘seeing things the other way’ that way. It can also manifest in the honeymoon stage just being enlonged and the problems showing up later.. with the ‘honeymoon stage’ in this aspect I mean that this bond feels pretty karmic and paternalistic and awesome in the beginning, in a way that feels super attractive, safe and interesting to the venus person who’s in awe of saturn, and super intense, fulfilling and a little anxiety inducing for the saturn person involved, who enjoys venus’s quirks and air for themselves so much that they become against it and will call them things like ‘childish’ as time goes on. This doesn’t happen if there’s good trust and communication in the relationship. Most often the ‘emotional pain’ that is seen as inevitable with some synastry aspects according to some people, are only inevitable for people who really don’t know how to deal with other people in relationships. You’ll be alright when you have some supporting aspects to this.

Mars-lilith: mars and lilith have a lot in common: they are independent, sexual, feisty and go after their own fleeting pleasures. Only mars isn’t a social pariah, stays on earth and lilith is so she’s up in the air like a bird. Lilith, as the outcast, is someone who wants to impress mars to prove something to herself. Mars is someone wants to dominate lilith, to prove something to himself and also to her. You can see they have a lot of natural (sexual) chemistry but they’re sh*t for the long term lol. Mars is still part of the ‘ordinary world’ and lilith is still traumatized by that world. In harsher aspects, the empathy towards each other will be non existent. The same can even go for sympathy between the two. Also, the ‘colour’ of this union will of course depend on the signs they are in.

Moon conjunct jupiter: Why does my pisces moon have immediate soulmate-like crushes on men born in 1962/63? Oh, that’s why. I’ve had it the other way around too and I’ve seen a lovely couple with this, but I feel like this definetely gets exalted in pisces. Jupiter ~loves~ the moon person. Moon person’s entire emotional/private self fuels and twinflames jupiter person’s entire inspirational and idealistic self. The moon person feels safe while still feeling inspired and adventarous with the jupiter person. Jupiter basically adores the moon, and even that gets expanded due to the expansive and almost indulgent nature of this aspect. The moon person wants to be with jupiter. They feel their emotional self inspired and exalted when they are with them and it can be for some (for me) a very rare feeling of being so comfortable and happily understood and inspired by the other. I’ve always found this one of the best relationship aspects you can have, for me at least it’s the best because with my scorpio sun pisces moon and sag rising, that optimistic jupiternan energy on my most vulnurable side is exactly what I’m looking for.

Mars conjunct chiron: the only sexual aspect that will make a man want to marry his female partner.

Sun/venus/mercury fifth house overlay: ever had that feeling of ‘ooh this person is going to be here, now this occasion is worth it/interesting/~a party~’ and you almost saw it as like a crush? Did it feel a little juvenile? That’s this one.

Mars fifth house or in that mix^: oh and you do have a crush on this person, highly likely. Are you going ‘oh my god, oh my god, it’s him/her’ when he arrives in like an almost funny and very juvinile way? That’s this one. Okay so now I’m taking a girl reading this as the norm, but for a guy that crush would happen with venus added in the fifth house. This/these overlay(s) cause butterflies and first love vibes for the house person, giggling like a teenager and thinking the planet person is soo cool and fun and attractive. The planet person releases their inhibitions around the house person and becomes leo-esque, like the party version or radio-edition of themselves.

Saturn conjunct an angle: weirdly enough, this aspect is not much talked about on the internet but I assume that is because people don’t have a lot to add to this one. I do. I believe this aspect can be extremely significant in reading a synastry chart romantically. So, to begin with I feel like this aspect, like a lot in synastry, plays out differently irl based on the genders of the people involved. What I’ve found is that saturn conjunct an angle in heterosexual relationships, where the guy is saturn and the angle person is a girl, the guy is easily bound to fall in love with the angle girl. This is because saturn imposes their mix of care, ownership, restriction responsibility, security, dedication, reality, commitment and karma on your angle which basically stands for a fundamental part slash pillar of your existence. Aka, this aspect is a patriarchal wet dream. The hero-instinct is immensly triggered here. This guy’s (who I also had a pretty large age gap with for our early twenties) saturn was tightly conjunct my IC, the most vulnerable angle, standing for my fourth house of the home and, using other astrologer’s phrasing, where ‘my soul is seated’. We were not together yet, but would unsolicited go “yeah, that’s important that you do that” and after some inquiring about anything “be careful that you don’t” blabla like it mattered to him. The vibe was very much like he could say “look, as your husband” and me reacting like “excuse me??” Same guy also had his saturn tightly conjunct my even younger friend’s ASC and it’s like he picked her to be like his little sister! even though they didn’t know each other that well. He would be very protective of her (although i think he could have done more, but that’s another story) and hype her up whenever she walked into a room, it was very cute. Conjuncting DSC I’d imagine it would play out like saturn worrying about the people DSC hangs out with and feeling a sense of dictatorship(?) over her social angle and who she’s seeking love from. Brooding protectiveness over the fact that DSC has been going out again with many guys who may not be up to good. Like I said, this aspect is the patriarchal wet dream. Conjuncting MC it would be exactly like jiwoo and sungmin from Age of Yourh. Making sure he’s right behind her in her goals at all times to protect her, almost like a cynical bodyguard, but somehow equal-ish partners that compliment each other. Back to saturn conjunct IC, the IC is the ingebakken way of managing things and the way you close your eyes for rest. Saturn conjuncting this part of you is like them barging into your house and giving you pills while you’re, like, there in your underwear. This angle aspect does create a deep kind of bond I’d guess. It’s still lunar! With the AC I think it’s the physical air and appearance that someone gives off that makes saturn think that they’re smol and need guidance. This is what I imagine a first impression would be like! Not getting into the relationship itself but like, you could guess. I’d say the ASC and MC conjunction will flourish as platonic and be doomed when it gets romantic and the DSC and IC conjunction will flourish as romantic and be doomed as platonic. In the right kind of relationship these conjunctions can be like ‘ahww’ and wholesome but in the wrong kind of relationship, these conjunctions could cause a major, and I can’t describe this any other way, ‘f*ck of!!!’ 😂

Moon trine mercury: I call this the best friend aspect because I’ve shared this aspect with every friend I could talk with for hours and enjoy it. Even if you don’t share the same kind of humor you can still laugh and communicate and basically enjoy each other’s brain ! I like this aspect in romantic relationships, too, because this aspect kills the potential awkward silence and it adds that green flag communication with e/o when official. This isn’t like the conjunction were the two bodies are so bang on alike that it becomes like a battle between the one person’s mind and the one person’s emotions. There is a harmonious distance that actually brings the people closer together and creates that intimacy. With the trine you constantly greatly appreciate what the other person adds to the table. This is communication that flows non-verbally as well, like through touches and looks.

Moon opposite mars: chrissttt, not to be vulgar but you both know you just want to.. do the deed together 💀 almost as if after 10 mins of talking you’ve already decided that in your head

Mars sextile moon/venus I feel like the energy that flows through the trine causes sexual arousal and through the sextile it causes a very wholesome emotional arousal. Great aspect no matter which gender.

Chiron conjunct sun: get ready to get your feelings hurt if you’re the chiron person! Well, the way this feels is actually: the sun person will just be hitting you where you’re vulnurable but most likely you’ll like it and feel almost soothed, even. I’ve had this both ways. It’s a great and genuine aspect to have.

[vcnillazelda]

hey bubb!!

if your requests are open, could u write (if ur comfortable with) something about ghost x shy/civillian f!reader?

i hope that ur having a wonderful day and thank you!!x :)

my lovely

simon riley x reader

summary: simon comes home to you.

tags: civilian! reader, shy! reader, established relationship, fluff, marriage, domestic fluff bc i crave it didnjfjsdo

a/n: this is adorable gocjdidkkd. we’re getting to the point where we have to reuse gifs so i’m sorry about that 😭

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“my love?” a familiar voice calls. you perk up, putting your phone down. “simon?” you call back, and surely enough your husband peers into your shared bedroom. you smile brightly, getting up hug him. his warm arms wrap around your waist, scooping you up so your legs wrapped around his hips as the two of you finally reunite after six grinding months of not seeing each other. “i missed you so much..!” you tell him, squeezing him tightly. simon chuckles softly, kissing your temple as he carries you back to bed. “i missed you too, love.” he replies, setting you down as he changes from his work clothes. “do you mind if i shower?” he asks, soft brown eyes looking at you and you feel yourself falling in love all over again. “of course not, go shower. you deserve it.” you smile, and simon nods, giving you a parting kiss before heading to the bathroom with clean clothes.

he takes 15 minutes, immediately coming back to you after drying his hair properly. “come here..!” you smile, opening your arms to him. simon climbs onto the bed, kissing your lips sweetly. “i missed you so much.” you mumble, cusping his cheeks. “i missed you too, baby. i’m happy to be home again.” he sighs, weight pressing onto you. you hum softly, burying your face into his neck as simon lays atop of you. “how’s your six months been?” he asks, gently stroking your sides before rolling onto his side of the bed. you follow him, curling into his chest. “lonely.” you pout, it’s quite dramatic but you have to admit you were very lonely when simon was away. “m’sorry, baby.” he mumbles, kissing your pouty lips. “it’s okay. it’s your job, and i promised to always wait for you.” you smile, kissing over his jaw. “yet, i have to admit… recently i’ve been worried… you’ve been away for a long time simon, and without much communication. i’m scared i’ll get that news..” you whisper. simon grasps your chin, pulling you to look at him. “i would never leave you.” he declares, and you sigh. “you can’t control that.” you mutter, yet simon doubles down. “i will never abandon you, baby. never.” he states, kissing your lips.

“simon…” you frown, burying your head into his shoulder as his hand rubs your hip slowly. “don’t go all shy. i haven’t seen you in months.” he chuckles, kissing your neck. you hum softly, staying snuggled into his body. “i’m afraid of losing you, simon.” you repeat your worries to him, and simon sighs. “i wont die on you. you keep me going.” he replies, kissing your forehead. “i’ve had nightmares about it… i wish you could stay here longer.” you sigh, closing your eyes. “i’ll see what i can do… i want to be here with you.” simon responds, hand slipping from your hip and rubbing his back gently. “you don’t have to…” you mutter, shrinking into a small ball in your lovers grasp. “i want to. i want you to be happy.” simon practically purrs, kissing your forehead. “i love you…” you whisper, face ablaze with how flustered you had grown. simon let’s out a soft laugh. “we’ve been married for four years and you’re still so shy.” he muses, kissing your lips. you break into a soft smile, kissing him again. “get some rest, love.” simon mutters, lips gently pressing to your forehead.

“only if you’ll stay with me.” you respond, hands slipping under his shirt to massage the taunt muscles in his back. “i promised to always stay with you the day we got married.” he whispers as you relax further against him, fingers rubbing deep circles over his aching back. he hums softly. “i love you simon.” you mutter, kissing his slightly exposed collarbone gently. “i love you more, love.”

[jackfrostsisterssisterinlaw]

MHA random guys x Y/N

I am so sorry to the person who requested this over a year ago, I suddenly disappeared and forgot requests were a thing when I got back. This one’s a little rushed because I’m having exams these days but I’ve made you wait over a year so I had to get it done.

The random guys include Deku, Bakugou, Monoma, Shinso and Amajiki.

word count : 987

Warning : IF YOU SO MUCH AS LOOK AT AMAJIKI 🤬 I’ve got my eye on you.

as usual can’t take any credit for the pictures.

Deku 

Let’s be honest you probably don’t deserve him. No matter how much you do for him he’s going to somehow be doing more for you. It’s not that he treats love as a competition, it’s just that it’s in his nature to put his two hundred percent to everything and that includes his relationship. And if he chose you as the one that’s really something. He loves just staring at you and absorbing every single detail. He notices the smallest change in your appearance and can always tell when you’re feeling down. He hates it when you don’t communicate and share your pain and eventually manages to get it out of you by playing the victim. Try to give back at least 50% of what he’s doing for you because that would be a normal person’s 100%. He’s very possessive although he doesn’t tell you directly. He’s going to be super grumpy if you hang out with other people more than you spend time with him. Also here’s a secret. He loves it when you ruffle his hair and give him forehead kisses so keep doing what you’re doing :)

Bakugou

I don’t know how you did it. HOW DO YOU PUT UP WITH THE GUY? He appreciates you for it more than you know. He knows about his anger issues and how his inconsistency can make him a difficult person to love, but when he saw you loving him unconditionally and always being there, he realized what a difference that made in his life. It hurts his pride to tell you his problems and he finds it far easier to just burn the furniture but he really tries. He hasn’t been burning much furniture lately right? He’s opening up to you more and more every day and wants to become the same cushion for you. He wants you to be able to trust him as much as he trusts you. If another person looks at you for a second too long or makes you laugh, he is going to be jealous as hell. Trust me the moment he drops you home after a date or is out of your sight, he is going to track them down and give them the scariest warning in their life. It’ll be so scary they’ll refuse to see anyone in a romantic way anymore incase there are more bastards like Bakugou. He loves it when you try to be rough with him and that one time you pinned him against the wall..yeah I think he wants you to do it again.

Monoma

If you’re with Monoma that speaks a lot about you too. Because from a surface level I don’t think anyone can stand Monoma. He looks like he’s arrogant and obnoxious and gloats thinking he’s above everyone. His slicked hair and the way he sneers like he knows he’s good looking. There’s a lot of things to dislike. But you chose to stay and dug deeper. You were able to see the insecurities he tries to mask with his persona and the internal bruises he covers beneath his tuxedo. He adores you for knowing him so well and relies on you a lot. It’s sometimes hard for him because he hates depending on someone but you always comfort him and tell him that you’ve found your calling. He kisses you then, multiple times all around your face finally ending at your lips. Verbal affirmations aren’t really his thing because somehow stuff he says still comes out as self absorbed and arrogant. But with you by his side he’s improving every day. He gets really irritated when people hang around you but he tries to convince himself that you’ll be loyal and he doesn’t have to worry. He’s not stupid he hears what everyone says about how you could do better. But you chose him in the end and that’s what’s important.

Shinso

You like the silent mysterious type don’t you? Absolutely nothing wrong with that because he is a total green flag. To be honest I don’t think he knows exactly how to be romantic and sometimes his gestures of love can be a little weird. Like sometimes when he sees you in a crowd even if you smile and wave he’s just gonna stand there looking at you with no expression. He forgets he has a mouth and eyes that can be used to express one’s emotions. He also has no understanding of social cues so please bear with him. Also I’m sorry that your pickup lines hit a blank wall. Except that one time you made a star-wars pickup line and said yoda only one for me. You fell even harder for him when you realized he was a geek too and he fell harder because he finally understood all the nonsense you were yapping about and meant them romantically. Bear with him, I know he sucks at showing it but he really likes you. Have you seen the way he grits his teeth and glares if someone so much as looks at you. You like him being possessive don’t you? He loves it when you have deep conversations with him and he’ll listen to you talking endlessly.

Amajiki

LOOK AT MY POOKIE MWAH

I’m sorry but Amajiki is mine. Go find your own cinnamon roll. I’m gate keeping all his character traits and love languages. I’ll just word drop so that you get jealous.

He’s super depressed and moody if I leave him and talk to someone else.

The moment he sees me in a crowded room, he walks up to me and attaches himself to me and eventually convinces me to leave so that we can hang out together.

He’s biggest fear is actually losing me, he doesn’t mean that as a joke.

He loves it when I cuddle him and tell him how much I love him.

Which I do on a regular basis so back off. :3

[of-dragonss]

General relationship headcanons for Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley and John ‘Soap’ Mactavish

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Disclaimer: Little to no military knowledge from the author 🕺 don’t come for me i hate the military but i love these military men 🫠

Gender Neutral Military Soldier!Reader

this is also a test to see how i’m gonna write for these two. Yes you can request for them. I can’t do the entirety of the 141 YET but stay tuned 💃

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Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

At first he was very intrigued by you. Having caught Price’s eye enough to have him assign you to the 141. He’ll be absolutely in denial that he’s caught genuine feelings for you. Not wanting to get close to someone after all he’s went through. But he can’t help the warm feeling he gets when you make eye contact with him from across any room when he stares for far too long.

Eventually he’ll accept that he’s in love with you, will probably outright tell you after you were reckless on a mission, using yourself as a human shield for him. He’d be angry and frustrated and as he’s scolding you for your actions and you arguing back that he would’ve been killed, he’ll blurt out that he was fine if it was him, he doesn’t want to see the only person he can’t get out of his mind hurt because of him.

Ghost will pause as he watches your reaction, and slowly take off his mask, eyebrows furrowed and eyes on the ground. You take his face in your hands and confess your feelings too. From then on you’re an official couple, to Soaps delight. (He won a bet against Price and Gaz.)

You’ll have to be very patient with Simon. He’s been through a lot and lost a lot of people he loved dearly. Being emotionally vulnerable is very hard for him.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. He’s just really bad at communicating it. Like. Really bad. His actions do speak louder than words.

It usually little things. From watching you like a hawk during missions together, making sure you’re okay at all times. From small, brief touches every now and then before and after missions to cleaning your weapons for you. Sometimes he’ll grab your hand during missions when you guys aren’t separated, away from the eyes of others, slowly running his thumb across your knuckles.

Most common physical contact is him putting his hand on your back between your shoulder blades. And on rare occasions, forehead touches. That damn mask gets in the way though but it’s still a nice gesture and one of his more intimate ones he’ll do in front of the others. Since he knows they don’t really care all that much.

If Soap says anything about it though he’s getting one of Ghost’s nasty dead eyed stares. And a threat that holds no true malice behind it, just annoyance.

He has trouble vocalizing his affection to you. That doesn’t come easy to him. Usually it’s such a normal, everyday phrase no one seems to notice the importance of when he says anything to you. From reassuring you he has your back from any threats, to simply asking you how you’re holding up when the two of you are separated.

Sleeping out in deserts, jungles, boats, anywhere not at home he has to have your cot next to his or he won’t sleep. Usually he doesn’t really sleep actually, but having you around eases his mind, letting him get much needed rest even if you’re a couple feet away, facing each other as you rest.

He’s not used to having someone around his apartment when he’s home away from war. Having someone there when he wakes up is new to him again. And he’s definitely not used to you praising him. Telling him how much you love him and how handsome he is. Kissing him because you want to. Looking up at him with so much love and adoration.

During the hours where the sun is just beginning to rise, the birds are softly singing outside in the trees, he’ll wake up before an hour before you so he could go on his morning jog. But he’ll stay in bed for a few minutes, admiring your sleeping face. Gently cupping one of your cheeks in his hand and slowly run his thumb over your cheek bone. And when he gets up to get ready for his run, he’ll kiss your forehead before he leaves. Coming back to find you cooking breakfast for the both of you.

The privacy of the apartment lets him be more vulnerable. If only a little. He still has trouble with words. But physical touch comes easier to him. He’ll come up behind you when you’re doing something in the kitchen and put his hands on your waist, kissing the top of your head. When sitting on the couch he’ll pull you towards his side so you can snuggle up to him. When sleeping he likes facing you, arms wrapped around your middle, rubbing up and down your back with your head to his chest, his chin lightly pressing on your forehead.

When he does vocalize his feelings it’s usually an ‘I love you.’ It’s rare but he means it entirely. If you say it back immediately when he does he’ll bring you in for a tight hug for a minute or two, pulling up his mask to kiss you briefly. His love is soft, warm and intense. He may be wary about loving you because he’s afraid it’ll put a target on your back, even if you know how to take care of yourself, but he really does love you. Like i said be patient with him.

John ‘Soap’ Mactavish

Johnny is more openly emotional. He doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve but he does actively show and say it. After missions he’s always asking you if you’re okay. Making sure you’re stocked up in ammunition. Handing you weapons he knows you prefer. Always going ahead of you first in tight spaces to act as a human shield for you. Yelling out your name when you’re in trouble, and etc.

It was like this since he got to know you after you joined the 141, eyes always following your every move, helping you out any chance he got, showing off in the worst moments getting scolded by Price and Ghost.

He’ll confess his feelings after a mission when you save him from an enemy sniper, telling him to duck as you take them out. Not as intense as Ghosts confession but he’s still in absolute awe of you, he couldn’t stay quiet about it anymore.

Really, he’s a love sick puppy, always looking at you with those grey eyes full of admiration and awe. Always close to you when he can. He enjoys any time he can get with you when on duty. Sitting right next to you while you two clean your weapons. Leaning on a wall and chatting away about anything and everything when you have time to simply relax. Sitting next to you in car rides as you two stare out the windows, feeling each others body heat from being so close.

He is touchy, but he restrains himself in front of the rest of the 141. But when a mission requires the team to separate into groups and you two aren’t in the same one he’ll always without fail run up to you and spin you around when it’s done and over with, especially if you were very heroic that mission.

He will constantly boast about you to the annoyance of everyone. Alejandro is the only one who doesn’t really mind. But he does tease Soap about how love sick he is. They definitely act like school boys around each other. Ghost is constantly annoyed by his blabbering about you though. He’s trying to sleep please shut the fuck up oh my god.

When alone together it’s rare for him not be physically touching you. His hugs are tight and playful. Ruffling your hair constantly to make you laugh. Squishing your cheeks. Picking you up and hauling you over his shoulder. Dancing in the living room to a high energy song and slow dancing when he’s feeling extra romantic.

He also melts when you praise him about anything. And turns into putty when you run your fingers through his mohawk, giving him scalp massages. He falls asleep like that on the couch often, his head on your lap as you two watch a movie or tv show.

Can’t cook for shit but he loves when you offer to teach him. It’s a reason to be close with you and he gets to learn something so it’s a win for everyone involved. It feels so domestic to him. Listening and watching you as you focus on the meal you’re preparing, telling him about every step in detail. From the cooking lessons he’s learned how to make a mean spaghetti and meatballs, and it’s one of the first you taught him since the sauce and the meatballs are from your own family recipe. It’s turned into his favorite meal and usually cooks it on date nights.

He’s talked to you about life after the military. Finding a home somewhere nice and quiet. Maybe by a lake, possibly having a farm. He does know he wants a dog. Any kind of dog will do. The topic of children is all out to you guys if you’re willing to have them or not. If no he’s okay with it just being you and a dog running around. If yes he’d want one child. Doesn’t matter what gender, he’d be delighted by anything.

He definitely writes about you in his journal by the way 100%. About how lovely you look certain days to how well you fought in hand to hand training. To moments in battle where you do something he deems as heroic. Some pages are filled with only you, others you and the rest of the squad. Sometimes it’s little notes about little details about you.

He also likes to write you those little notes on sticky notes. Sticks them in random places he knows you’ll be the one to see them. Just some cute worded messages. Nothing too detailed that’s for his journal. He knows you always save them, and when you find them he gets a quick peck on the lips from you with a big smile.

i blacked out when i typed this and these turned longer than i expected lmao

[scarybabe]

I was reading your most recent ask discussing the toxicity of some members towards people who started skinny but chose to get fat.

I find it interesting that a community that claims acceptance of all body types becomes toxic when one chooses to change that body type. I definitely think that fatphobia is a large part of the equation there, and this could easily be tested by seeing if people who have been thin their whole lives react as negatively to someone who consciously chose to loose weight. At the same time, I've seen (anectodally, so take with a grain of salt) toxicity from the FA community whenever one of their favorite models decides to lose weight of their own volition. Do you have any idea why that might be? I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

I think that people only like change when that change corresponds with their personal tastes, and disapprove when the change is making us less attractive to them.

When I was petite & known for my inflations and stuffings, I definitely caught heat from a big share of my content consumers because changing my appearance so much diminished my ability to give the crazy before and afters i made myself known for. And at some point in the future whenever I lose weight after hitting my 300+ lb goal, I know people will be upset because they either wanted to see me even bigger or expected me to stay the same size forever.

My point is that people’s tastes and preferences are all over the place and unless you stay exactly the same forever, you’ll always disappoint somebody.

People often forget with weight gain models especially that there is a human connected to all the sexy body fat that y’all adore. You should always put the well-being of the human first, and if someone wants to gain/lose weight for their own happiness or well being you shouldn’t interrogate them or shame them for doing what they need to feel good in their skin.

I also think honesty and transparency is huge - I’ve been very open about my weight gain being a semi temporary thing from the BEGINNING and everyone knows they’ll be getting pregnancy content from me someday in the semi near future❣️ and as great as I usually feel at my current size, not being genetically predisposed to carrying this amount of weight has given me some lower back pains from gaining so fast - basically I know I will have a better experience being pregnant if I’m strong and fit (I’ll remain fat don’t worry, just not quite as fat). I basically plan on lifting weights and eating intuitively until my body finds the size it’s happiest at and I don’t care what the number is as long as I feel capable and strong ❤️ it could mean even just losing like 30 lbs lmao - I’m not concerned with being petite ever again, just losing the back pain and gaining muscle.

All that to say that setting expectations also affects people’s reaction to someone changing their size as well - knowing and expecting it will still make some people upset sure, but at least it won’t be because they feel “lead on”. And to go even further - just because I like to share a lot about my planned body transformation trajectory doesn’t mean that a content creator is required to disclose their personal health status & plans outside of what they choose to share and nobody is entitled to that. By sharing as much as I do, I don’t want to set a precedent for expecting THAT MUCH from everyone - just be thankful to have creators who do let you in on our personal lives and for those of us that don’t, respect their boundaries.

[letters-from-dekarios]

(Jasper is a snarky drow wild-magic sorcerer/multiclassed rogue. He was pretty careless about his magic until meeting Gale, and his solutions to things still mostly ends up being ‘is it worth lockpicking, or should we just explode it and run?’ He’s closed-off and snippy with people he doesn’t know, but longs for connection at heart. It just… takes a while to get there. He’s quite awkward when he’s actually being open with people. When the two of them are alone, it’s one of the few times Jasper actually is fully himself.

Jasper is illiterate; never learned to read, but ‘begrudgingly’ lets Gale teach him slowly after the events of the game. Still not great, but getting there. While they do live together, Jasper still takes trips to the Underdark every now and again. This letter was written during one of his times there.)

Gale, hello.

(The handwriting drastically changes. While the above line is practically intended into the paper, the rest is written in neat cursive.)

The rest of this letter is being transcribed by Astarion because I don’t feel like sending you something that could be mistaken for a toddler’s journal. Then again, that’s what your handwriting can look like sometimes if you’re tired enough, so maybe you’d find it readable anyway.

What do people even write in letters, anyway? Hello, dearest Gale of Waterdeep, how farest thou in my absence? Psh, he’d laugh at that. He’s cute when he- wait, don’t write that down- hey, give me the-

(There’s some illegible scribbling after that.)

Anyway, Gale. How are your bookshelves? They’re probably dusty. You should dust them.

Did you eat food today? It’s dinnertime. It won’t be when you get this, though, I guess. Hm.

Ok, seriously, what am I supposed to say? Astarion note: He rambled for about five minutes about the uselessness of letters and small talk, darling, I’m not writing all of this down. He misses you, you’re both pathetically in love, it’s absolutely sickening, get a room.

Oh, right. Some of the mushroom people myconids gave me some stuff to bring back to you. I didn’t really stay long enough to figure out exactly what it all is since the whole mind speaking thing makes me nauseous, but there’s some amulet and a couple scrolls.

I also have not blown anything up yet. On purpose. Two explosive surges happened. Whether that’s good or bad is up for debate. There aren’t any of the explodey mushrooms around where I’m staying.

Pet Tara for me.

And if you look like you’ve pulled even one all-nighter when I get back, I’m dragging you to bed. Put your books down and go to sleep, wizard.

~ Jasper

(The name is signed in the same poor handwriting as the greeting)

P.S. Hello. Astarion again, absolute pleasure. Next time, send a scribe with him if you want to be penpals, or I’m going to start charging.

Sweet Jasper,

And Astarion, by default.

No matter the transcriber, you know I adore hearing from you. I’d spend countless nights decoding your handwriting if it meant our communication stayed strong during your nights away. And, for the record, I’m glad you think I’m cute when I laugh. You’re rather adorable when you laugh, too.

I have cleaned the tower in your absence, but it’s quickly returned to dust-filled madness since beginning a new project of mine. No matter, though, it’ll be spotless by the time you return. You’ll be happy to know I’m eating just fine, and Tara can vouch for me on such. She’d have a field day if I didn’t stop and have a meal now and then, no matter how deep I was into a tome.

Thank the Myconids for me. Their scrolls have proved to be rather helpful lately. It’s always a joy to receive new items from them. And, I am glad to hear you’ve not yet blown anything, or anyone for that matter, up! I would hate to have another incident occur and use all of our resurrection spells again. Those are pricey and hard to come by nowadays. Stay strong, darling, I know how much you desire to set fire to things.

I cannot guarantee the state of myself when you return. I’m awfully invested in my current tomes and you know how much I hate losing my place. But I will try, dear.

Enough about me. How are you? I hope your time in the Underdark is serving you well. Have you found anything of interest? I’ll be more than delighted to hear all about your adventure when you return home. The nights grow cold without you by my side, love. But I know how much your journey means to you.

I hope you’re eating well, also. Sleeping just as much, too. Send word when you aim to return home, I’ll have everything ready for you.

Be safe, my love. I hope to hear from you again, soon.

With all my love,

𝑮𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝑫𝒆𝒌𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒔

Astarion, I thank you for your hard work with Jasper. You know the depths of my coin pouch. Name your price, though not too substantial- I’m not made of money, after all. But, I’d much rather you than a stranger scribe for him.

text reads: gale dekarios

[linonyang]

FLUTTERING CONFESSIONS.

pairings: crystal fairy prince!jeongin and butterfly fairy librarian!gn reader

genre: fluff, fantasy, fairy au, barbie: mariposa and the fairy princess au

warnings: short lowkey suggestive content (they had a kissing moment please)

word count: 5.2k words

synopsis: it took you both too long to confess, and maybe things moved quicker when you two realized you should be expressing what your heart desires already.

tag list: @awooghan @cosmic-railwayxo ​​ @xiaoderrrr​ @hwangsify

note: hey! another wip that i got to finish already!!! just a little warning, things do get a little faster at the latter portion of the fic. the first part really was my unfinished part (that i wrote... last year) and it’s kinda long, so i just tried to continue it! i hope it’s still good tho :D enjoy!​​

© linonyang - all rights reserved. please do not copy, translate, modify, repost, or claim as yours.

Supposedly taking you around Shimmervale again, Jeongin got distracted and ended up hanging out with you in your little getaway in the little library newly changed in your room.

“Mother will lecture me at dinner if I don’t walk you around the kingdom again,” he grumbles, free-falling onto your bed with his eyes closed.

Jeongin hears you answer his complaint with the sound of flipping pages, wonderfully engaging to a book you haven’t read yet back in Flutterfield. “You mean fly, your highness? I am very familiar with Shimmervale already, Jeongin. It’s not a requirement that you have to tour me around if I went here tons of times already.”

And that is his problem.

The queen always tells Jeongin to tour a guest around Shimmervale as a respectful form of welcoming them. It’s simpler compared to coping around at tea parties, but it’s something that he has to do out of respect. It would be rude to leave guests unaware of where they’re going.

“I told you, Mother’s going to lecture me if we tell her we didn’t go around Shimmervale.” Jeongin stares at the ceiling, admiring the decorations and lighting hanging around.

I didn’t know the lights here were that big for a small room!

Humming, he sits back up on your bed, poking your shoulder. “I can let you stay near the Heartstone again and call it a day if you don’t want to go around for the nth time.” 

The royal family adored you right when you became a great friend of Jeongin. When you two were young, the royal family of Shimmervale visited Flutterfield for a gathering with your kingdom’s queen.

A ball began, and both citizens of Flutterfield and Shimmervale attended. When you flew there with no knowledge of the people you’d encounter—especially your parents, who did not even say who were the special guests of the ball—you didn’t know you’d befriend the prince of Shimmervale. 

Every other kid who knew the privilege Jeongin held made them avoid him. The fact that he was a prince while they were commoners of their kingdom intimidated them. He felt left out, knowing that being in such a high position would always be a barrier to being a fairy like the rest of you. Meanwhile, you, who’s still learning about life and the world of fairies, shamelessly communicated with him and made him comfortable as a guest.

His parents discovered you are part of a family of marvelous professionals fairies could ever get, such as researchers, scientists, and historians. Hence, they found fascination with how you’ll perform once you grow a little older. 

And they did not look down at you even once — you became an intelligent young fairy who worked at the royal library of Flutterfield during your free time. They knew you’d be as great as your family.

Thus, they thought they should bring you to Shimmervale and join Jeongin in learning. After all, you two joined at the hip — it would be best to have two great fairies in the making to study and extend your education together.

Now that the two of you graduated. You visit Shimmervale occasionally, during your short breaks, as a holiday from working in the royal library once again.

Dropping your book to your side and glancing at Jeongin, an idea came into your mind. “How about we go around Shimmervale to look at the Heartstone and the crystallites above homes?”

The source of heat and energy for the people of Shimmervale doesn’t exist in Flutterfield. Those crystals have been a long interest of yours since your first visit to the kingdom when you were young. Jeongin once picked up some tiny bits of it and willingly gave it to you as remembrance, especially since he assumed you’d never come back‌. You tried to study these glowing gems and showed them to your relatives, who took the same interest in those as you.

Until this day, with hundreds of papers and books about these crystallites for everybody to read, you still think these crystals are so special. Imagine Shimmervale without the crystallites — they’d be nothing without those. Gemstones that might be useless to others are an essential piece in this kingdom.

To Jeongin, the crystals are nothing. He learned about the importance of crystallites and assumed they wouldn’t run out of them soon for a long time already. They had an abundance of it hiding behind the GlowWater Falls.

For the past years of visiting Shimmervale, you only crossed the waterfalls, obviously oblivious to the beauty there.

Jeongin hums and nods, still considering your suggestion for the tour. 

You sense hesitation behind your best friend’s eyes, noticing the subtle knit of his eyebrows and the pout of his lips. There’s something he wants to include.

Before you speak up about your small concern, Jeongin finally blurts out the question that has been running through his head. “Have you gone inside GlowWater Falls? How about we go there instead of going around the crystallites above the houses like last time?”

Pressing your lips together, you answer, “No. I know the crystals are in there, though. But are you really bringing me there?” You push Jeongin back down to your bed delicately, lying beside him. You lift his soft hands into the air, mindlessly playing with his fingers. You softly continue, “I didn’t bother getting in there because I might invade a space I shouldn’t be stepping in. So, no, Jeongin. I haven’t gone inside there.”

Well, isn’t it an excellent day for Jeongin? He finally gets to show you something new to you. He knows you’re tired of flying around Shimmervale like him. You two just do the regular touring to catch up on each other's businesses.

“How about I finally show you what’s in there?” He moves his head to the side, finding your face beside him. This intimacy has been natural, so being close like this has been a regular sight for some. 

Although, Jeongin tends to hold in the erupting butterflies in his stomach. He knows you’re an absolute sweetheart on a typical day, but he can’t help but feel something for you.

Funny to say, his parents aren’t even unaware of the blushes and uncontrolled smiles on his face every visit of yours. They had long known for his admiration for you whenever he couldn’t shut up about you when you were gone.

Should he confess later, then? The king and queen believe there is a long delay in his confession, and he should do something about it. The simple thought of his parents supporting him in pursuing a relationship with a special commoner of another kingdom already reassures him that things will be fine. 

Then, he will do it any time during the tour.

Or within your stay in the next few days? He’s so not sure about this.

He’ll just wing it later.

Jeongin calls out your name and ties his hand with yours, lightly shaking your hands together. He opposes your sentiment. “Going into the GlowWater Falls isn’t an invasion of privacy, by the way. Anybody can visit there!”

Your friend is trying to convince you so hard. Jeongin knows you have stepped into every place in Shimmervale except GlowWater Falls, which was weird for him.

It’s technically an attraction. Why haven’t you tried to visit there?

Your laughter fills the air, pulling his hand to your chest. You forgot for a second that Jeongin here is persuading you for an addition to the tour. His voice has given you so much comfort until the point you’d love to hear it all day without comprehending what he says. 

“As I said earlier, I know it’s a personal place for you. I don’t want to invade GlowWater Falls because I know it’s like an escape of yours.”

Oh, right, he mentioned that before.

A small surge of panic moves through Jeongin. What excuse would he say about that? The only reason the GlowWater Falls was very personal is that it also reminded him of you whenever you were away.

He’ll just mention that later on.

“Don’t worry about it! It’s a comfort place of mine. I think you deserve to see what’s inside an important space like that,” Jeongin sighs out of relief. “You are my best friend, after all. You should know why it is significant to Shimmervale and me. You did your best in learning everything about the kingdom already; it’s time that you get to see a special place with your own eyes.”

Your mouth fell open. Your best friend returning the favor with that big surprise stunned you. For your past visits, Jeongin always mentioned that he stays in GlowWater Falls in exchange for the loneliness he felt growing up. He usually feels that, so you thought it was a big deal. Stepping into a place of absolute comfort could feel like stepping into private property. It’s like diving deep into his secrets.

“If that’s what you want without feeling intruded on, okay then,” you nod, giving Jeongin a half smile. 

Jeongin moves even closer to you, your body touching his. He removes one of his hands from yours and lifts it to move some hair away from your face. Winking, he tells you, “You’ll have a great time. I’m very excited.”

You take in the sight of his face as he pats your head. “You were so serious every time you talked about GlowWater Falls, and then you’re joyous about it now. What has gone into your head?” you softly asked. Studying his face, you notice that he’s beaming with the corners of his mouth turned up and his eyes sparkling. He must be that excited.

Jeongin hums, returning his back to your bed. “I don’t know. Maybe I just have a good feeling of being more honest with you.”

Speaking of being honest, you forgot to give something to your friend.

A flutter flower.

You promised to give him another flutter flower. It would remind him of you while you’re gone. It all started when you gave him one on your first visit, and Jeongin impulsively gave you those tiny crystals because he loved the flutter flower and wanted to give something in return. After that, you gave him a flutter flower just to see him happy and amused. 

Hell, you even brought him references about flutter flowers so he could study them if he wanted. Give him another flower so he can feel your friendship's magic. You liked it to sign that your company is as powerful as that plant. You’ll always be there for him.

Pushing yourself up from your bed with your elbows, you search for your bag with the flutter flower, rapidly eyeing every corner of the room with anxious eyes. You sigh under your breath when you see the bag untouched and closed on your table.

Jeongin immediately senses the tension around your body, sitting up to check up on you. “You okay?”

You look at him wide-eyed, answering his question, “Yes, I’m fine. I thought I left one of my bags in Flutterfield.” Thank the heavens for being able to cover up your actual worry immediately. 

Before Jeongin asks more about that bag, you reach for his hand. When you pull him up from your bed, he squeaks, surprised by the sudden movement. “Be gentle! You don’t want to get exiled for accidentally stretching a muscle!”

“I will not get exiled, Jeongin. Your parents have exiled nobody for a few years now!” You laugh, pulling him along as you fly around your room to grab your needs for your tour around Shimmervale. 

Never forget your bag with that flutter flower!

“Oh, they’re going to do it for the first time in a while if something goes wrong,” Jeongin grumbles, feeling that slight sting on his arm from your hand. “But they love you very much, so you might be an exception if ever they’re going to — hey, _____!”

Jeongin groans as you drag him downwards to grab your shoes, your wings slightly hitting him. You chuckle, letting him go. “Alright, Jeongin. Let’s just get this over with.” You glance at him with a smile, tying the ribbons of your shoe around your calves.

“We’re leaving already?” Jeongin exclaims, moving lower to put his head around your head level. He flips around, seeing your head down as you tie the ribbon with pure focus.

You see him while you’re lying in the air, and you answer him. “Well, yeah. We have a long way to go on the tour, right? The whole kingdom and the GlowWater Falls?”

“You said a few minutes ago that you’re too lazy to leave?” Jeongin flaps his arms in the air out of exaggeration. “You said you wanted to stay here and read some books from the small library?”

On your last visit, you didn’t have a library in your room. The room reserved for you only looked utterly different until the royal staff applied the redesign to your liking. To your surprise, Jeongin was embarrassed to ask you about your preferences. He felt he was doing too much for you, mainly because he wanted you to feel at home in Shimmervale. But when he raised the suggestion to the king and queen, they were nice enough to follow Jeongin. They understood his intentions, which added to their never-ending proof that he’s absolutely in love with you.

Oh, he emphasized the library to the royal staff. He knows you’d feel suffocated with no book with you at all.

Thankfully, you arrived here last night with much satisfaction, giving Jeongin a tight hug and a quick kiss on the cheek, which the royal guards and his parents caught right at your door. 

You shrug your shoulders right after you finish tying your shoe. “Eh, I’ll do that tonight and for the next few days. I think it’d be better to finish the tour as early as now. It’s still noon, anyway.”

Well, you have a point. 

As payback, Jeongin playfully grabs your arm and pulls you out of your room to the palace's doors.

The hallways of the royal palace echoed with your shouts of protest, unable to catch up with the speed of the crystal fairy. You completely forgot that Jeongin is skillful with flying, perfect enough to fly quickly into obstacles and traps. Even with ups and downs, twists and turns around the palace, Jeongin has been flying around accurately. You wonder if he’s that skilled in flying or familiar with the enormous palace.

Unfortunately, rapidly flying around the palace means less time to admire the decor. The royal palace of Shimmervale is one of the most beautiful architectures you’ve seen. Walls painted with pleasing shades of pink and purple, windows of large sizes and abstract exteriors with natural light shining down on you — you might’ve thought you’re in an upgraded version of heaven.

“Can’t we slow down, your highness?” You grunted, almost avoiding one vase sitting on a table. Your butterfly wings cannot follow along, as it nearly hits one of the family paintings in the same hallway. “You know you can’t trust me with flight!”

“Coming from somebody who normally flies? And tortured me the same way earlier? I don’t think so,” Jeongin laughs, holding your hand tighter than before. “We’re almost there! We’re going for the quicker option, taking sharp turns around shortcuts and flying fast!” 

Jeongin screams out of joy, loving the feeling of the wind moving past him and his wings. He is amused at how you’re still keeping up with him. You’ve been at the edge of surviving this trip. He glanced at your face: eyes squeezed shut and jaw clenched.

He concerningly sighs and slows down his pace, now holding you softly. “Sorry about that,” he says, pulling you down with him on the ground and hearing you stop him repeatedly from apologizing. “We’re out of the palace now, anyway. We can fly up there and hang out for a bit?”

Your head follows the direction of his hand — pointing to the Heartstone sitting on top of a tower nearby. The narrow building is taller than the royal palace, showing the Heartstone to Shimmervale. Even far from the tower, you see the greatest crystal of the land shining against the sun.

Delighted, you nodded and flew first to the tower, gripping your bag’s strap tight. The prince follows behind, his hands around his squinted eyes to see a more clear view against the sun. The sun is shining at this hour, making Jeongin hiss at the contact with the damaging sun rays before him.

Begrudgingly stepping into the highest and only floor of the tower, Jeongin holds on to the pole beside him. Pressing his lips together, he says, “That took me a little while, and I forgot how hot it is when the sun’s up.”

“You obviously don’t go out as a child, Jeongin.” You sit down on the steps towards the Heartstone. In awe, you look behind and scowl once the brightness of the crystal hits your eyes. “And you’re probably more used to seeing crystals than the sun.”

Jeongin puffs and stomps on his way to the space beside you to move your head away from the blinding stone. “Hey, I have gone outside lots of times already. Excuse me!”

The pout on his face made you chuckle. That is one of the most common signs that he got affected by your teasing. “I’m just joking, your highness. Sit down here with me, will you?” you asked, softly patting the cold tile on your side.

“Yeah, sure,” Jeongin grumbles, rolling his eyes. “Seems like you’re the royal here. I cannot believe I’ve been doing the grandest stuff for you for years.”

He’s too late to deny it. What else has he done aside from the room renovation and the touring that made him think he’s so in love with you? So much, so much that it is so hard to count with his own hands.

Yes, his parents were right. He’s that crazy.

Jeongin laughs at himself. It’s too late to turn back, and he has to release the feeling today. He could’ve sworn that he’ll keep it in for the rest of his life.

“Why are you laughing out of the blue? You finally realized how much you’ve done for me?”

Hold on, do you know about his feelings?

You probably do.

Cursing multiple times in his head, he immediately makes up an excuse for your question, “I guess so, but isn’t that part of my role as a host?”

You tilt your head and furrow your brows. “Do all hosts hang around the guest’s room every night?”

Ever since, Jeongin consistently sneaked into your room, seeing you in any area with a book in your hands. Frankly, he grew more comfortable in your room than in his own. He had the time of his life every night in your place. Pillow fights, movie marathons, book readings and discussions, and helping each other in academics — he felt like he did so much as a friend in a few months than years of existing as a royal. Spending time with you was always a precious time of his. He’d never trade it for anything else in this world.

Even rejection. The prince is too sensitive to that.

It is comical to see Jeongin as either this ray of sunshine or a cold winter — something that will depend on his mood. Whenever he’s around you, he’s a mess. He could get as soft and sweet as a marshmallow on his favorite ice cream or flustered and red as apples freshly picked from a tree. 

“Uh…” he dragged his voice, thinking of an answer. “Not all, but there are some.”

“Like you then?” you ask. “You know, it’s not a lie that you did so much for me.”

Should he insert his confession now while there’s a touching moment between them?

No, he can’t do it yet.

“That’s because you’re also my best friend, _____.” Well, that’s a great excuse, Jeongin. He huffs before continuing. “And I’d do everything for my one and only best friend.” He gets back up and sends you a warm smile.

You feel your cheeks heating from the sweet words of Jeongin. You always thought your friend was rather timid and rational, but he gets quite romantic and idealistic — especially when it’s about you.

A confession as platonic as this makes your mind wonder because of the possibility of it having romantic undertones. It makes you question whether that commitment will stay forever with the state of being friends — or significant others if things will change — which makes you slightly more determined to confess this overflowing love you feel for him.

“I’d do the same for you, Jeongin.” You reach for his hand and move your finger in circles on his palm. “I’m willing to do that again and again.”

The two of you didn’t take that long staying near the Heartstone. Jeongin was slightly overheating today — considerably, the weather was warmer than usual. Maybe Jeongin’s complaint over the scorching heat was more valid than you thought.

You two went straight to GlowWater Falls. It took you both a while because many commoners were greeting the prince on your way. Some even did the same to you. Those commoners have seen you with Jeongin throughout the years — “Are you two together?” as the usual conversation starter, making your heart beat faster.

The prince heard this question behind your back. It made him snicker several times. There was this rush of confidence when fairies finally noticed his affection for you through your frequent visits and tours around Shimmervale City. Not that he implied he does like you to that one kid who asked him the same question, but it satisfied him enough that citizens have noticed his growing care for you. He’d love to let the people know he’s in love with a butterfly fairy who’s inarguably esteemed and adored in their home.

When he finally brought you past the vines and leaves to the waterfalls, he can’t help but look at you. Your eyes are as shiny as the surrounding crystals, your light feet bringing you around, your hands playing with the small body of water nearby, and your head spinning to look at the stones above — a beautiful sight. He might admit that you can beat the crystals’ magnificence.

“I cannot believe this.” You pick up a rainbow rock near the pond, “I’m here.” 

You widen your eyes at the sight of the rocks in your hand. “These are iridescent! So beautiful, I haven’t gotten myself one of these.” All you’ve kept were the crystals the prince gave you. 

“I always thought of giving you one, but I thought it’d be nice if you discover it once you visit here and play along with it.” Jeongin picks up a few pieces from the grass and throws one on the pond, making it skip in the water in different colors.

Unconsciously, you cover your mouth out of shock. You steal one from Jeongin’s hand to do the same. “That is so cool. You should’ve told me it does something on the water. I think I never noted that.”

His fondness never fading away, he tells you, “It’s a surprise, _____. There are things I don’t want to spoil.” He giggles when your smile drops. “I just want to see how you’d react when you find out about something new, that’s all.”

“Just to tease me until my death, I’m guessing,” you grumbled. The crystal prince grins and pokes your shoulder, “Nah, I genuinely wanted to surprise you. Do you really have to make everything seem like a foolish act from me?”

“Yes, because you have been such a tease for all of my life,” you replied. In return, you also poke his torso, making Jeongin shriek and almost trip. You laugh and mumble, “You deserved that.”

“Though, do I deserve your love?” Jeongin mumbled. He can almost hear his parents’ words in his head. If you’re going to confess, make sure that you show how dedicated you are to declare your love.

He’ll never forget how the king shared how bold the queen was when she tried to steal his heart from other royalties. He thought it was a coincidence that his parents also met at a ball. She pulled him into the air to dance for the whole night. Jeongin wishes he was as courageous as his mother. The love of his life is already with nobody, yet he can’t seem to be straight to the point.

You could not notice your friend’s words by playing with the rainbow rocks. You look at him and ask, “What did you say?” 

Jeongin lifts his head from the ground to ask, “If you like someone, would you rather keep it or say it?”

You cannot help but tilt your head. “Say it. Why would you keep an intense feeling for someone? You don’t have to give a show just to confess. As long as your words are straight from your heart, it’d best to say it.” If only you could laugh at your answer, you would’ve done that right after you said it. You can’t seem to follow your advice.

“What’s the matter? Do you like someone?” you asked. You suddenly toy with your bag strap to wonder what it feels like to be liked by the prince of Shimmervale. 

Love makes your body mess up. Your heart beats faster over the idea of confessing to the Shimmervale prince. Your stomach aches out of nervousness whenever you finally have that chance to declare your love. Your hands sweat when he lays his hand on your shoulder. Your mind gets blank whenever you remind yourself how frequently you return to Shimmervale for Jeongin. Anything that has to do with your desire to be with Jeongin, you mess up and hold yourself back.

I’m going to do it, I have to do it. Jeongin scratches his head, “Yes, I like someone.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “It’s leaning towards love, but yes. I love someone, that someone being you.”

Well, so much for being dedicated. At least he was straight to the point. 

“I planned to confess to you so many times already, but none of them seem to work, and I chicken out every time,” Jeongin pushes your dropped jaw up and holds your hands. “Even if I thought I was going to mess up again when I finally get to bring you here, I guess I have succeeded, ‌right?”

Your short-circuiting brain makes you freeze on the spot. You thought of bringing out your gift that you’ve been keeping away from the boy with hopeful eyes. You drop your hands from his grasp and open the flap.

“Here’s something to tell you that,” you pull out the flutter flower from the bag and hear Jeongin gasp, “I feel the same way. Also, I’ve been trying to let you know, but I never found the right timing.” 

It’s Jeongin’s turn to freeze. His eyes move up and down — from the flutter flower and your face and vice versa. His heart might burst, and so does his eyes with tears. There was pining all this time, and he realizes he is as dumb as you for not realizing your love.

Everything you did for him means a lot to him. You gave him that true peace and silence whenever he visited your room. Your room was the perfect place for him to keep away from royal duties, reliving things children would do. Playing games together; studying for exams together; staying up late at night as secret sleepovers; reading books from Flutterfield’s library, and so much more. They might be simpler compared to his extravagant actions, but they’re still important to him. If not, maybe some of the most valuable moments in building your friendship.

He grins. “I noticed your eyes are shining brighter than the flutter flower and crystals.” As much as he missed the flutter flower (and still keeping the first one you gave him), nothing compares to the sight of your eyes shining. It reminded him of those eureka moments whenever you two are in class. He can’t believe he gets to see that kind of eyes again. That kind he observes on certain days.

You chuckle, “What if I say you look the happiest when you’re smiling?”

Jeongin returns the flutter flower to your bag. He gently grabs your hands, places them on his neck, and caresses your face. “I’d be the happiest fairy ever if it’s alright for me to kiss you.”

“Then, I’ll let you be the happiest fairy ever,” you close the gap in between. Jeongin closes his eyes and hums in delight. He ties his hands around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You can feel him smiling. You stroke your finger on his soft cheek as you reciprocate, making him smile even bigger.

Jeongin opens his eyes. His sight is very endearing — you kissing and touching him gently. He feels all the love, and he can always return it. Jeongin closes his eyes once again and parts his lips from yours. 

You wonder why he parted. He surprises you with fervent pecks on your face, making you giggle and pinch his arm. 

“Hey, let me kiss your cute face again for a bit,” Jeongin mumbles again. He reaches for your hands. You let him, moving your face closer to his. “Go on, just let me do the same afterward.”

For a while, you two just pecked each other’s faces and giggle in the place where Jeongin feels most comfortable. Jeongin has added another justification to his list of reasons he loves GlowWater Falls — you.

Even after your cheeks feel sore from smiling, you’re unable to process the fact that Jeongin likes you back, and you two kiss. You thought it was a saving grace from all the horrendous times when you had to back out because you were unprepared or the moment simply feels off to confess. 

You two flew back to the castle when the moon was up. Jeongin’s parents greeted the two of you at the door, who also felt surprised when they saw you both in each other’s arms. 

“Are you two—” 

“We’re together now, mom. Is that okay?” Jeongin playfully asks, showing his hand that’s woven with yours. The queen and king sigh in relief. 

The king clasps his hands together, “Glad to know that you both had the guts to admit what your heart has been screaming for years. I think the queen and I have been waiting for this moment for so long!”

You smile, “I’m also glad, your highness.” You glance at the love of your life, “Should I extend my stay here, Jeongin?”

“Please. My son might go insane without you,” the king pleads. The queen joins in the ride and jokingly asks, “Can both of you get married already? Both of you are joined at the hip!”

“Mom!?”

“I think I know why you’re so lovesick, your highness,” you peck on his cheek.

The queen cries, “He’s blushing! He got it from us!”

[inknopewetrust]

Fanfiction Recommendations! As the summer comes to a close, I want to highlight some of my favorite authors and their beautiful talent with all of you.

Take a moment, read their work, and support them by commenting and reblogging—all to let them know their work matters and their contributions to their respective communities are valued and heard. Heed all warnings before consuming content, the authors and myself are not liable for the content you interact with.

Cherry Blossom Colored Kisses // @queers-gambit [Eddie Munson x Reader]

I am normally a streamlined reader. One of those who doesn’t venture into supernatural, folklore-esq fics but something spurred me to read this and all I can say is that it was perfect. There are few words beyond perfection to describe this work. It is simply phenomenal. I never wanted it to end; the writing was beautifully heartbreaking and lovely, and the emotions—God! The emotions! I have re-read this multiple times and will be reading it until the end of my days. I only wish I could be as brilliant a writer as you. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

For you, I’ll Go into the Woods // @aniqua [Eddie Munson x Reader]

If you continue reading this rec list, you’ll also see that Aniqua is in the masterlist category too. She is simply amazing. Every work she’s ever produced has been excellent. A true, exquisite talent that I am so happy to call my mutual. Not all writers take time and care into how their readers are represented, but Aniqua shows that with impeccable kindness and strength because in the end, all we want for ourselves is to be the best version we can be—and well, she writes that. Aniqua, you are the best. Your writing transcends from the page and into our hearts. We are so lucky that you continue to write and produce work that we love. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

My Favorite Henderson // @luvfae [Eddie Munson x Reader]

Listen, I love Henderson!Readers. I do. Plain and simple and very much a fantasy because 1. Dustin is my fav and 2. I adore Eddie. This series is fantastic. It’s long (which is an absolute plus), well written, and totally engaging with great dialogue and a really wonderful representation of Eddie as a character beyond the scope of what we know of him. I tagged the whole masterlist of the series for you to check out—you can’t stop at one, you need to read them all and stay up all night because you can’t stop reading it. Fae, thank you for sharing this with us.

Detention // @mycurrent-hyperfixation [Eddie Munson x Reader]

While I like the good ‘ol canon fic like everyone else, imagining characters outside what we’ve seen is so interesting and goddammit I love this one. First, Eddie would definitely be stuck in detention more often than not because he’s a non-conformist and that bugs teachers; second, he would absolutely fall in love with a student he wouldn’t expect to see in there. This fic is so cute and wonderfully crafted. This author knows how well to write Eddie and the kind of character he is supposed to be—which makes all the contexts that they put him in all the better to be read. Thank you for sharing this with us.

High School Sweethearts // @uselesssomebody [Eddie Munson x Reader]

This is a [ongoing] fic series that just started and I cannot wait to see where this goes. I love the dynamic–Eddie on the outskirts of society while Reader is woven within it trying to find an out. It’s got that enemies to lovers, faking dating trope that we all love and let me tell you, one ‘chapter’ in and this author has me in the palm of their hand. Their username is uselesssomebody and while I don’t know the context for it, I can tell you all (who decide to venture this far and actually read everything I wrote) that this author is far from useless and is certainly not just somebody. They’ve created conflict and empathy and the foundation for the story in a few thousand words while understanding the motivations of reader and Eddie so well. I cannot say enough, and maybe for the second time now, that I am jittery thinking about how this story will progress and I hope all of you will join me in enjoying this journey. I am simply smitten. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Night Moves // @eagerbby [Eddie Munson x Reader]

Oof did I love this. I’m a sucker for exes to lovers and the way Nicole wrote this is not only a beautiful, comprehensive story but the innate ability to be a storyteller in the most amazing sense makes this fic a perfect combination. Reader and Eddie have a realistic, palpable connection and the angst that slowly evolves into the revelations and resolution of the story is just fucking wonderful. And I don’t know at what point I begin feeling like a broken record, but there are phenomenal writers on tumblr (as well as Ao3–in particular) and being able to discover them through fandom is a great honor. They understand characters and their motivations (dare I say) better than the original authors or creators and that says something about the creativity and intellect of them. Nicole is one of those writers. You will also find her masterlist under the ‘Masterlist’ section of this fic rec list because it’s just that fantastic. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

Spring Break // @strangermarvelss [Eddie Munson x Reader]

This fic. I want more! I want MORE! Enemies to lovers besties and goddamn does Sava do this well. I’ve read this three times because it makes me feel something and that is a testament to her writing. It’s fantastic and I love that authors are taking Eddie and adapting him into different types of scenarios. Like sure, is Eddie a golden retriever type who’s got big brown eyes and is a softy inside? Yes. BUT! Eddie could easily be irked by someone who doesn’t mesh with him in the way others have. Having Eddie in an enemies to lovers situation with a reader who is in the fruity four’s circle is just *chef’s kiss.* So, one, thank you for writing this and I, like many others, would love to see a continuation of this dynamic because you write it incredibly well. Second, thank you for sharing this with us because if it hadn’t been for you posting this, I wouldn’t have known what it felt like to love a fic so much.

Never Have I Ever // @me-gongoga [Eddie Munson x Reader]

Angsty fics that resolve with fluffy romance are bloody brilliant. They can make you feel ten different emotions if it is written well and shit, I’m here to tell you that yes, this fic is written exceptionally well. Not only do we feel every emotion and slight second hand embarrassment from the question Eddie thinks he has stumped everyone with, we also feel so profoundly rewarded by the end. UGH the satisfaction of that is amazing. As a reader who is getting older and who has been doing this *thing* for a decade, I adore when I come across stories that touch me in ways I wish I knew were possible ten years ago. So, thank you. Thank you for sharing this with us and creating feelings that are realistic and sound to the point where I kick my feet and giggle at myself. You make me feel sixteen again.

Right to the Bone // @havecourage-darling [Eddie Munson x Reader]

This fucking fic blew my nonexistent socks off. I loved it so much. Not only is it more than one part, it is incredibly written and the characters are wonderfully crafted. V, it’s not enough to simply recommend this story because I need to scream about it from the rooftops. Lovers to exes to ??? Exactly. Exactly what I’m looking for and because we are all simps for Eddie, only happy, complicated ends for this man and V gives that to us. It’s also not short. I love when fics are long so knowing that I’ll be reading it for more than a few minutes is the best, exciting feeling to have before actually jumping in. Thank you for writing this and sharing it with us. I hope those of you who take the time to read it simply adore it as much as I do.

I am a top gun girlie simp. It’s not something I will apologize for.

Bad Habit // @seasonsbloom [Jake Seresin x Reader]

There is no reasonable place on earth for me to sit and enjoy something this much. One, I love Jake. He’s exactly the guy I shouldn’t like but I do anyway and you know what? Fine. If he was real I’d hate him but I’d love to hate him… get the gist? This little series is amazing. Great writing, great use of the characters, and totally feels in canon too. All the top gun writers are great—and it’s fucking wonderfully long! I love long fics because I write long fics and to see other authors embracing the wc’s over 6 thousand words is amazing. Thank you, May, for taking the time to write this and sharing your talent with us.

Small Doses // @purelyfiction [Jake Seresin x Reader]

Again, here with another Jake fic but let’s be honest, this whole section will be Jake x Readers and so long as these fantastic writers continue to bless us with their work, it will a solely Jake list. Knockout. Not the call sign, but the code name for the fic. It’s a fucking knockout of a fanfic and I’m so happy to have come across it. It’s sexy and makes my heart do leaps because it has snark and steam and love and thrill. Hit the goddamn trifecta here, Ashley. Thank you for sharing this work with us.

Save a Jet, Ride a Pilot // @bradshaw-fanclub [Jake Seresin x Reader]

Please. The name for this fic alone should make you want to read it. There is a commonality between many Jake fics and I’m not mad about it (the “you hate him but love him at the same time” trope) and this fic… this fic does it brilliantly. I literally feel like kicking my feet from under by comforter because it’s just so fucking good. I signed my name with a heart in Hangman’s whorehouse just for this fic and I don’t regret it. Won’t apologize either. Thank you, Hayley, for sharing your talent with us.

Wine-Eyed // @whirlybirbs [James Norrington x Reader; POTC]

I used to sell myself as solely a Will Turner kind of gal but the older I got, I realized that Norrington was totally my vibe. I will die on that hill now. So, as any sane person does, I read all the fanfics I can and when a new one comes along, I read it, I love it, and birbs—listen… you knocked it out of the park. Absolutely wonderful, phenomenal, brilliant, amazing, life changing, awesome-ness. You keep this small fandom living for content alive. Thank you for sharing your work with us.

Ride or Die // @writefightandflightclub [Santiago Garcia x Reader; Triple Frontier]

I am 90% sure I’ve recommended at least one fic, if not the whole masterlist, of Luna’s before and every time I’m looking for something good, I come back to older fandoms I’ve been in and find new or past fics that I adore. Santi is a whole man of mixed emotions and complications that just make you want to say “I can fix him.” Ride or Die is that. Ride or Die is Santi at his antithesis and Reader being at the center of everything. I love it. And I highly suggest if you read this one, you’ll love all the fics that they’ve ever written because it’s not just Santi but many of Oscars other characters that are written perfectly. Thank you for continuing to write and share these wonderful stories with us.

Hot Summer Nights, Mid July // @luxurybeskar [Johnny Soprano x Reader; MSoN]

I went back through my archives to see what fics I may have forgotten to recommend in my last list and this is definitely one that I should not have looked over. Actually, probably all of Thea’s fics should be on here too. I love the Sopranos and while The Many Saints of Newark wasn’t the best film in the universe, the cast was sizzling and JB’s Johnny was certainly one of them. Thea writes him so well and self-indulgent too which is the best kind of writing tbh. If you enjoy this one, check out Thea’s other Johnny works and other writings because the catalogue is vast my friends. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Aniqua’s Main Masterlist // @aniqua

From Moon Knight to Shadow and Bone to Stranger Things, Aniqua’s writing will take you from universe to universe and leave you in love. Take the time to explore the masterlist she has created for all of her works because they are absolutely terrific.

Masterlist // @eagerbby

Everything on this masterlist is gold. It’s slowly growing with more content every week and I seriously cannot wait to see what else this author produces. Please, if you’d be so inclined, check out this author because their work is great and just like Aniqua’s work above, they’ll transport you to a little island of happiness for as long as you stay.

Masterlist // @masterofmunson

From Eddie to Peter Parker, everything is amazing. Amanda knows how to write these characters that I’m sure she could do it in her sleep, but I couldn’t pick one that I loved more than the others so I just smacked the whole masterlist on here for everyone to enjoy. Enjoy it, dear readers. They’re phenomenal and deserve all the love and support.

Um. How did we get here?

I’m a writer too, I guess… and I’d like to plug my own work—because Jesus Christ if no one else will, then I’ll do it myself! My name is Kelsey, I’m 24, and have been writing and reading fanfics for nearly a decade. Below are a couple of fics (and my masterlist) that I’m immensely proud of. It takes a lot for me to admit that I like my work—and certainly not all of it—but there are a few that I can’t help but love.

Thanks for all the support. Go check out the authors above and show them unconditional tumblr love.

Masterlist // @inknopewetrust (aka me!)

This masterlist contains every written fic I’ve ever posted on tumblr. You can find some of the work on Ao3 and different fandoms on my Wattpad.

Exile // @inknopewetrust (still me) [Darkling x Reader; Shadow and Bone]

This is a short series based in the shadow and bone world. Darkling x Fem!Reader that kind of set me on a path here on tumblr. It was the first mainstream series I’d ever done and the attention brought to it was very kind. I am very proud of this fic. I think it represents me as a writer very well and I was able to explore different themes of sensuality, romance, heartbreak, pain, and hatred, all in one.

The Hideout | It’s You and Me | Secret | Electric Music | and The Denim Vest // @inknopewetrust (oh yeah, still me) [Eddie Munson x Reader]

These are all of my Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader fics. Eddie is a comfort character. He’s the guy I would have been crushing on in high school and just like millions of other people on the planet, completely swept me off my feet. A few of these fics contain scenarios deeply personal to me—conversations I’ve had, situations I’ve been in—and to be able to therapeutically write about them through fiction has been a great pleasure. I’ll always believe Eddie to be one of my favorite characters to write for. He’s wonderfully odd—just the way we all like him.

Resolutions // @inknopewetrust (do you wanna guess?) [Marc Spector x Reader; Moon Knight]

I grew up loving Marvel. After a very traumatic experience writing for the fandom, I decided to take a step back a few years ago but I found a connection with Marc and Steven. There was an acceptance that I hadn’t been privy too, so it makes me incredibly happy to have extended my hand back into the pond. I am proud of this little series because I feel it dives into the complexities of what it means to be a partner—a loving, committed person when so much is going on. I hope that shines through for you too.

Volition // @inknopewetrust (Mhm… me) [Rafael Barba x Reader; L&O: SVU]

Rafael Barba is my favorite SVU character. Maybe that’s because I’m a Broadway girlie and RE is an absolute legend, but Barba is a whole deal by himself. I wanted to write a story aligned with canon and this is what I came up with. A complicated, dueling interest fic with a sequel that leaves lingering potential for the hypothetical future to be happy. I love Barba; he deserved better in the end.

[sharkinlovewithadolphin]

Trick or treat 👻 Anything you'd like!

ask box trick-or-treat Thank you!! 🎃🦇 For you: An excerpt from my notes for chapter 18 of A Magical Tale to pair with your magic au inspired oneshot. ❤✨

“Is that a fucking bear?” Rin asked in a hushed whisper, shocked by the silhuette visible in the far distance. “Yes, Rin. Bears are usually found around mountains, forrests, bodies of water?” Haruka pointed out. ”Did you really think there wouldn’t be bears here?” “Have we swam around by the waterfall with the risk of a fucking bear attacking us?!” “I guess? They don’t really attack unless you provoke them, though.” “You’re so ridiculous, you’re gonna get us killed,” Rin complained, voice still low as if afraid the bear was going to hear him. “I can just communicate with it, remember?” “Fine, then you’ll get me killed.” “You can literally create and manipulate fire. I’m sure you will be fine.” “I couldn’t back then!” “Well, maybe it would’ve speeded up your process,” Haruka joked. “Haruka!” “Okay okay. At least you know now.” Haruka said, then started to walk away. “Nuh-uh this conversation is not over. Are there any other large animals out here that I should be aware of?” Rin asked, still in entire disbelief of the whole situation. ”I’ve been riding around on a horse out here! Akira is roaming around here sometimes too!” “Hmm,” Haruka hummed thoughtfully. ”There’s sometimes a mountain lion during winter.” “Great,” Rin sarcastically said, whole dramatically throwing his hands in the air. ”We’re surrounded by dangerous animals.” “I can hold your hand if you’re scared,” Haruka jokingly offered. ”I’ll even let you hide behind me.” “Fuck off,” Rin said, but he didn’t sound harash or mad despite – in his own oppinion - having every right to. “So foul-mouthed.” “It’s your own fault.” “I thought you said knights had manners. It seems you keep forgetting them.” “Shut… up,” Rin sighed, though Haruka could easily hear the hint of a defeated chuckle sneaking in. Rin grabbed his face and leaned in to place a quick kiss on his lips before leaning back ever so slightly, still keeping his face close to his. “You’re so careless. You’re going to get mauled by a bear and leave me as a poor widow one of these days.” “I highly doubt that. And you can’t be a widow,” Haruka pointed out. “Widower then,” Rin relented. “No I mean, we’re not married,” Haruka elaborated, making Rin blush. “We practically are…” Rin looked away shyly. “Yeah,” Haruka agreed, smiled contently and then leaned forward to kiss Rin. Rin was quick to reciprocate the kiss. After pulling away, they started to walk again, the bear long gone. “Would you want to, though?” Rin asked after a moment of walking in silence. “Hm?” “Get married,” Rin clarified. “Maybe?” Haruka said, clearly surprised. ”I don’t know. It all seems a little troublesome. A ceremony for a piece of documentary paper.” “It’s more than that,” Rin insisted, looking directly into Haruka’s eyes. Haruka was about to answer, when, as soon as he opened his mouth, Rin accidently tripped and fell forward, reflexes quickly taking over, He turned sideways mid-fall while protecting his head with his arms, preventing him from injuring himself, though the landing was quite soft against the damp ground beneath. ”Are you okay?” Haruka quickly asked, concerned. Their eyes met, Haruka’s concern meeting Rin’s surprise. He tried to stay serious, to keep up his worried expression, but upon realizing Rin was fine and admitting to himself how silly he looked down there, looking up all childishly surprised, he lost it in a fit of laughter. Rin tried to get mad at him for laughing at his demise, but he couldn’t. He was so far gone in Haruka and his cute laugh to be able to feel anything but adoration, looking up at him with an amazed expression. If there had been a bear or any other large predator around them in that moment, not only would Rin without doubt or hesitation have pushed Haruka aside and sacrificed himself, he would’ve died very happily and content, just listening to that adorable laugh.

[ilyuu-archive]

scaramouche is bad at feelings but make it him being unable to communicate that he’s jealous when you spend too much time with a certain person (because “eMoTioNs aRe FoR tHe WeAK” -scaramouche, probably)

man it just makes me sad because he already has a whole load of abandonment issues, and just imagine him considering the possibility of you leaving him for another person <//3

you can tell i read too many angst fics last night

guys this is long and also angsty proceed with caution!! oOOooOoOoh be scared

do you think he’d remind himself as kabukimono/kuni every time he tries to decipher these feelings in him while seeing you with someone else, or just let alone seeing you, and hating every bit of this so-called naivety and innocence that he thinks he still retains because with these new thoughts, he’s exploring an untouched domain of love?

it’s really interesting with then miscommunication/unable to communicate well thing too because he’s blunt to the point that he might as well be insulting the other party, like that one idle line of his that ends with “maybe that’s their problem”, so he has, or you think, no problem in putting what he thinks into words. until you exist, then BOOM. words are hard, and putting these thoughts into words are harder for him - end of story.

and the entirety of his abandonment issues too - you had a point, he’s the type of person to think that “they can’t leave me if i leave them first” to, of course, prevent any slight of pain and/or betrayal ever again. he had to, and alone, construct this perspective of the world around him with every single thing that happened to him - from one discarding him, another “abandoning” him, and the other to death itself as a cycle of mortality - which, at the time, i don’t think he understood as much due to the despair and almost clinging hope that this one doesn’t leave him alone either - and accept it as his reality and his fate.

and then you. the first person of which he let in for a long, long time, and who’s able to give him the unconditional love and adoration that he, maybe, wanted to feel, and stay with him through all thin and thick - even as the world seems to dark and dim to him, he has you. so it’s unavoidable for him to have this voice in his head that you’ll soon leave him.

maybe this is just me, but i like to think that he’d maybe come to terms to your death WHEN IT’S A NATURAL ONE, let me put that out there. of old age, then yes - time and time again, i like to think that he’s matured to know that this is simply the cycle of mortality unlike the kabukimono of his past who was only then acknowledging the concept of mortality.

but if it’s due to an illness, an accident, or anything that practically takes you away from him, then that’s going to be another scar for him to carry in the cavity of his chest that he knows carries a heart thanks to you.

i think too much (and that’s an issue BUT I’M OK!!)

[itsbeenclaireified]

Y’all it’s been a whirlwind.

Let’s start with a small update, I went to Japan and it was amazing. Highly recommend! It was very easy to navigate around and everyone was very nice to us tourists.

Maybe I’ll make another post with just some pictures because it was so pretty and wonderful. There were however some challenges: we had travel delays because of a typhoon and then about half way thru the trip I came down with what I was obviously hoping was hayfever and upon testing at home was Covid.

My mom was also struggling the first half of the trip with like…things not meeting her expectations? And admittedly our tour guide was not doing great work with communicating or organizing or honestly even counting our too big group. So she wasn’t eating a lot and then there was a day she snapped at me, and while later she apologized it was not for snapping at me. It was because she thought she had embarrassed me when she yelled at the tour guide. But then I got sick and her mood improved! Which is always sort of a mindfuck, but it also was nice to not spend my mental energy worrying if she was having fun on her dream trip.

So yeah, I came home and while I was feeling better I had wanted to go into my office to meet my coworker’s baby. And because I was congested I was like, I should test just in case. Even if it had been negative I would have worn a mask and stayed back but it was sort of a shock to be positive. Because denial is a great thing and while there had been a single day that I had the same body aches I had after I got my vaccine…I thought it made since because we had spend like 6 hrs on the cement floor of the train station because of delays. But nope, it was Covid.

So I came home to a single day of work and was like hey guys maybe I can’t go on this business trip next week to Kansas. Which I warned them before the trip too and everyone was like nah it’ll be fine. And then BOOM I’m positive and I’m like uhhh guys idk that I will be allowed into hospital to watch this procedure because of the vid, can someone else go? Crickets.

And then a lot of “oh well policy says you’ll be at day 10 so you should be fine” and “let’s just play it by ear” etc. and lucky now I have tested negative twice and also my symptoms are almost completely resolved. But I can only thank myself for completely resting all weekend to get there.

Like…only got 500 steps total on Friday rested. And then I had to be like is my back stiff because I’m sick? Or is my back stiff because I haven’t moved in literal days? And am I tired because of jet lag? Or am I tired because of Covid? Or traveling? Or the long day at work? And we’ll literally never know.

Which also, I used this app called Timeshifter I saw on TikTok and it worked GREAT! I felt very little jet lag. Or at least not the type of jet lag that made me drag my feet and not want to do things.

So catch me in Wichita tonight, and being sad not to be home with my kitty.

My adorable nurse over the weekend.

And an amuse bouche of photos from Japan.

[atopearth]

Birushana: Rising Flower of Genpei Part 6 - If endings & Final Review

Tadanobu Sato

It's so cute and funny to imagine Tadanobu giving flowers to girls and being flustered over how to communicate with them haha. HAHAHA, Tadanobu has to be the worst person to find out that Shanao is actually a woman, he's so obvious it's hilarious, I feel bad for Benkei and Shungen constantly trying to cover up his mistakes. It's so funny that it took a whole month of training every day for Tadanobu to go back to how he was with Shanao before haha! I guess it's better than before because he's more comfortable with her now and so honest about what he thinks lol. I guess Tadanobu has a soft spot for women because the live-in maids would always comfort him when he cried as a little kid haha, so sweet and cute.

Tadanobu placing a bellflower on her hair was cute!! Too bad the ending is so short! It actually makes me sad lol! It's like he's a potential LI but you'll never get a proper story with him and that makes it even sadder than if he was just a side character lol. Oh well, it was still cute I guess haha.

Tsugunobu Sato

How typical for Tsugunobu to discover Shanao is a woman because he went into her room thinking she was injured. It's random but honestly, I feel the same as Tsugunobu. When I used to have problems that I didn't know what to do about, I would sit outside my primary school and just look at the moon for a bit on my walk home. I never stayed for too long, but gazing at the moon always helped calm me a little bit before going home and having to act normal in front of my family. Tsugunobu blushing is so cute! It was so sweet how he noticed the little things Shanao does when she's happy hahaha, just imagining it makes me think they're so cute. Tsugunobu was so bold to kiss her fingers like that! I love the CG.

Overall, I didn't mind this ending. I think it was quite cute and Tsugunobu is quite gentlemanly and sweet. I think it's nice to imagine Shanao and Tsugunobu bonding by gazing at the moon together and sharing their thoughts together. But I'll admit that the main reason Tsugunobu is nice is because he has a pretty face hahaha!

Takatsuna Sasaki

It's kinda funny that all these guys names start with T lol. Considering how playful, innocent and cute Takatsuna looks, he's much more reliable than expected! I kinda thought he was more of a reliable messenger guy that does alot of fieldwork going around to different places for Yoritomo, but he seems to know everything, like a capable assistant/secretary for Yoritomo haha! It's kinda cute how Shanao just kinda told Takatsuna that she's actually a woman, I feel like she could have continued to deceive him but yeah, the route is short so might as well get that part out of the way lol. It's sweet to see Takatsuna thank Shanao for protecting Yoritomo with her powers. I like how Takatsuna took her out to play and got her to explore makeup, so cute!

Overall, I honestly didn't expect much from Takatsuna but I think he's much cuter and vibrant than I thought. Like, I thought he would be quite boring tbh, but I think he's quite adorable in that he's unafraid to voice his thoughts, he's a reliable leader to others but at the same time he's also very playful and knows how to get Shanao to relax and just be herself for a moment. It was refreshing to see them not have to think about war or anything and just be a bunch of youths playing around.

Shigehira Taira

Shigehira is such an ass to everyone and I love it. I think the idea of it being him going to Hiraizumi to observe Shanao and them to see if they want to rebel against the Heike is such a fun touch because he obviously doesn't care and just wants to go around annoying people for his amusement. I love how he bothered to get a servant to get Shanao for him only to tell her to get water for him lmao. And I think it's quite cute that Shigehira's interest in Shanao stems from the fact that Tomomori is interested in Shanao and he wants to understand why when his brother is never interested in anything. I like how Shigehira is the one following Shanao around but because he thinks that her plans for the day are boring, he forces her to change them lolll. It was hilarious when she asked him what games are good (for children) to play and he starts talking about drinking and killing people🤣

It's so cute and innocent how the children have no idea who the Heike are and how that is relevant. Hiraizumi really is a nice place. I find it really sweet to see Shigehira get to play these children's games with other children though. He always wanted to play more with Tomomori and Tokuko when they were young but due to Tomomori basically getting traumatised from being forced to fight in war and Tokuko being taken over by Rengetsu, he never got to continue having that "fun childhood" he had playing with his siblings in their dreams, so I guess he's always chasing after this "fun" to this day to make up for that hole. He's such a kid that it's adorable tbh. It was so sad to see that all the adults Shigehira played with as a child let him win and called him smart when they never seriously played with him. It's also so sad but cute how Shigehira doesn't really know what a 'friend' is because he's never had one before since everyone around him is ranked. Shigehira blushing at Shanao laughing at him for being scared of Tomomori's ghost stories was so cute hahaha!! Especially since he didn't want to be alone in his room at night lol. How does this adorable little boy survive when he runs around everywhere haha!

I guess what makes me can't help but love Shigehira is how much he loves his family and how much he wants to spend time with them. He follows Tomomori around because he wants to be with his brother. All his happy memories are of his childhood when his father took him out or when he used to play with Tomomori and Tokuko. Shanao taking care of the sick Shigehira was very sweet. I love the CG where he hugs Shanao and says he doesn't want to give her to Tomomori. Considering how Tomomori is basically his priority in life, the fact that he likes Shanao so much that he's not willing to give her up to him is very heartwarming to me. I think the sweetest thing was that in this short little story, Shigehira learnt that someone choosing to be with you rather than being ordered to be with you is so much more precious and desirable. I loved it when he told her that he didn't want to force her to be with him and that instead he wants her to choose to be with him of her own free will.

Overall, I definitely think Shigehira's If Ending is the best! It felt very natural, realistic and didn't have them stay together for random reasons and instead acknowledged that they liked and understood each other better but still had their respective positions to think about. I think his character development was the best and I honestly think it actually made me feel like I learnt so much more about Shigehira as a character through this ending and he was just so cute because of how childish but sweet and innocent he was compared to his usual crazy murderous self. Definitely looking forward to his route in the FD! Surprisingly, I would say I liked Takatsuna second best, then Tadanobu and Tsugunobu. I feel like the latter two never explored further into their personalities enough to make me think that was something I never knew about them or expected, so hopefully the FD will help with that haha. I very much hope to play the FD one day because I'll legit buy it just for Shigehira, my one true love hahahah.

Final review

Overall, I think people hyped up Birushana for me too much so I don't feel like I enjoyed it as much as I thought it would. People said it was like a 'better Hakuoki' but I personally love Hakuoki so much more. Although I don't like the supernatural elements in Hakuoki either, I liked the way they used it in the story more than in Birushana because I think it better explored the pain of having that power but also the need for it since the characters are based on real people and they would have died at that point in time if not for it. Hakuoki also never delved too much into it and instead focused on the characters struggles with it, whereas Birushana tried to tie it up with Rengetsu etc but I feel like it would have been better left as a mystery because I didn't like the Rengetsu thing at all lol. I do appreciate that all of the routes in Birushana are different enough though and I think most of them were interesting enough. My personal list from most favourite route to least favourite route would be Yoritomo, Benkei, Noritsune, Tomomori and then Shungen. I just love the pain and anguish demonstrated by Yoritomo in his route, it was my favourite moment haha. And Benkei is such a softie, he made me cry at how gentle and kind he was. He was the best guy to come back from work to and listen to because he was always so encouraging, so full of belief in Shanao and so caring. Noritsune gave me strength to stand on my own two feet and be unafraid of stepping out of my comfort zone if it means I'm living according to my beliefs and dreams. And I didn't feel much for Tomomori and Shungen's routes haha, sorry.

But yeah, I've realised that my mood can really affect how much I like a route too. I would rate the game a 7/10 probably because I don't think the overarching story was interesting enough for me, but I loved the characters struggles, especially Shanao's. I think her struggles in each route were different enough to not be boring, but understandable enough that it wasn't annoying. I liked her struggles with her identity, her responsibilities and how each LI helped her get through it and how she helped each LI better themselves. I can see why people really like Shanao, because I do too! However, the story just didn’t click enough for me sadly.

[adhd-inkubus]

One Down, One up

Two weeks ago one of my girls dropped me. She was so deep in her BPD and Depression and always either unwilling or unable to do the work she needed to do. It got to her, she retreated into herself, and basically ignored me for three months before breaking up with me during a drunken BPD split while she was off her meds. She said 'We need to take a break.' then followed it up with 'I still love you and want to be with you but I can't.' then wouldn't identify new boundaries.

Deep down I knew it was coming so it didn't hit me nearly as hard as it hit her. I'd been on standby for her, doing what I could to reinforce self-care habits and healthy ways of thinking, doing what I could to reinforce the idea that she is strong and beautiful, and that those things were true outisde of our relationship, but it was always met with self-loathing and hostility. Sometimes she got angry when I told her good things about herself. She stayed jealous and refused to communicate problems until they'd reached critical mass, always citing trauma as the reason for not evolving.

I understand her paradigm and headspace. However, we all have trauma. Using it as a tool to better understand ourselves, venting about it, working through it - all these are noble. However, when she spoke to her trauma, it was exclusively as a wall; an excuse; a defense mechanism. These things in exclusivity are unhealthy for her and for those around her. After six months of being the emotional support animal she kept in a closet for self-esteem boosts whenever a Bumble boy would ghost her, I realized that I couldn't keep putting everything in and getting nothing out. I broke it to her that this was not a break - it is permanent. She did not like that.

I disconnected from her for a week to get my head straight. We had a lot to talk about, but I didn't want my wounds and anger to lead the way. I tried to have a discussion with her about how I felt and all the things we needed to work on if we were going to be able to be friends. Her response was to DARVO me, turning herself into the full-scale victim without any blame, and attacked me. She even tried to tell me I cheated on her by developing feelings for a friend and telling her about it immediately, before anything happened and before I had told said friend.

'You said you weren't looking for another partner. You said you were looking for friends and friends with benefits!' she said. It's true - just like the other thing I told her; that I'm demi and tend to only date people I've been friends with for a bit because I have a hard time jumping dick-first into randoms. Not to mention that the friend-to-lover route is how I picked her up, too.

I feel like I've gotten off track. I'm angry with her. I'm hurt by her. I've made peace with it though, and while it doesn't justify anything, I understand her processes and where she is. More than anything, what I feel is concern for her well-being. It's so important that we ALL do the work, folks. Don't nest in your trauma. Acknowledge it. Analyze it. Adapt to it. Understand that you aren't responsible for it existing, and that the effects it has on you are normal. Otherwise you’ll just burn yourself to the ground, and no matter how much you hurt, other people can only hold onto something that’s on fire for so long before they have to let go. If you’re going to be fire, you need to be water as well.

Then change things.

On a tangentially related note... I picked up a new girl as the old one was leaving. This was coincidental. She's made pretty much exclusively out of green flags, and she lives nearby instead of being a long-distance relationship. She's got four kids and the whole house is neurodiverse and big on working on their problems. Instead of being jealous of my other partner, she instead takes joy in seeing me treat her with affection and adoration. They both do. I'm definitely keeping this one. I don't have words to express how freeing and wonderful it felt to be able to interact freely and openly with both of them at once as they talked about things they had in common.