#i also didn’t understand the gay shaming i just thought she was weird

[laudofthedeep]

thinking about the time in 6th grade when my classmates were like “would you kiss a boy for $200” and things like that, always the same gender as whoever was being addressed, price going down as people kept discussing. some of them were getting real bashful about it, which was probably part of the whole social game.

i, however, had no particular understanding of social cues nor sexual attraction to EITHER gender, so i flung myself into the conversation with a cry of “Cowards! id kiss one for $3!”

this, of course, led to the subsequent restraint of the nearest available victim, a call to my parents, and a plea deal that forced me to split my hard earned money with the unwilling party

[zombyjuice]

YOU USED TO LIVE A BLONDED LIFE₊˚⊹ ᰔ(๑ᵕ⌓ᵕ̤)>c[_]

in which it’s almost valentines and all wonbin can think about is the girl on his bus rides home.

wonbin x fem!reader

cussing, awkward, kinda bad ngl, reader is poc ermmm enjoy :3

“I’m lonely, I need a man before Valentine or I’ll go fucking insane” you speak coming up behind your friend Luna who practically jumped out of her seat phone flying in the air “Goodness! Someone needs to go put a bell on you” you look down at her with a menacing stare getting out of your 🕴️pose and going to the other side to grab your chair, stepping over her phone.

“I feel like you’ve already gone insane,” she picks up her phone thanking God it’s not broken “Cute hair by the way” she points out your now dark brown hair up put in a ponytail and a white headband with a fluffy blue star clip attached to it, you smile softly touching your hair “hopefully that cute boy on the bus thinks the same, he’s always staring at me I think he wants at me” you let out a giggle and jump up and down on your chair “oh my GOSH he’s so fine how~”

“shut up I’m sure he’s going to like it your pretty and look straight out of one of those old quirky Japanese fashion magazines, also you don’t have the worst personality” she states finishing her coffee “Oh? whatever fuck you let’s go” you kick her under the table and watch her face curl up in pain laughing out loud.

You guys shuffle out of the cafe with grumpy faces seeing all Valentine’s decorations and giddy men and women with gifts for the significant others, “disgusting” you sneer “Be happy” you glare at her “Shut the fuck up and be mad with me fuck valentines!” you slightly shout her eyes darting around not understanding how you have no shame(in Korea), you were a strange complex person but she loved you for it, deciding to ignore the glares.

Not even on the bus yet eyes immediately start darting trying to find the boy excited dressed just for him even though in the back of your mind you knew you were never going to go up to him ever, especially remembering your first interaction.

To make a long story short he was at the bus station at 1 am doing God knows what (waiting for the bus) and since there was barely anyone there you and Luna thought it was the best time to do a silly little TikTok you sprouting with energy cause Luna just gave you tons of it.

The song was slowed down so there you were dancing your heart out (slowly) to Ma Boy by sistar19 to get the perfect video and everything would’ve been fine if you didn’t heard the stifled laugh that the boy was holding.

Your face contoured with fear and Luna's deadpan while tapping your shoulder to run. And ever since then you’d see the boy every day, which would be concerning any other man but this was a breathtaking man who looked at you like he wanted to go down on you any moment.

Luna says it’s not that bad because the video ended up being great the sped up video making people laugh and you guys got viral the next day but you think that was hands down the most embarrassing moment of your life.

“I think you guys would look good together” your friend states while you guys eagerly waiting for the bus “What do you mean? How?!” you get giddy slapping her arm “idk it give cute black cat bf and weird orange cat gf” “okay can you hop off always trying to insult me” “that’s what I do best” “oh you're a fucker” “ow! Stop pinching me gay fuck” “You’re g-”

“the doors open” a quiet voice that belonged to no other than your future(not really) pretty black cat boyfriend >:3

you both barely look back and beeline into the bus.

“haha,” you awkwardly laugh a little too late at the boy who looked at you a little silly, both of your eyebrows raised strangely at each other “Oh my gosh” Luna muttered.

You turned around all of a sudden you would like to leave right about now.

The bus ride was quite awkward you and your friend standing and chatting sometimes losing yourselves in the convos and laughing a bit too loud immediately going to check if he looked at you a certain way.

You guys shared cute glances here and there you could feel the way he looked at your outfit or the way he scanned your side profile also not failing to catch the soft grin plastered on his face.

When the time came around for you to get off your bus stop you frowned, yeah you guys never talked before and you weren’t planning on it, but his presence was enough you could gladly sit awkwardly next to him as he looked at you with those cute boba eyes, gladly giving him the same look back.

You gave him one last look and a soft tight lip smile before walking away with your friend off the bus, but what you didn’t catch was that he followed you guys off.

“excuse me- excuse me”

You guys turn stiff and you snap back to see him slightly smile and wave “Can I um speak to you, please, not to be weird or anything”

You look at Luna with a smile a little too bright and she nods smiling back and glaring at Wonbin before walking off.

you look back at the boy's direction and you walk up to meet each other properly…

“You changed your hair,” he states blankly your eyes go a bit wide, and chuckle a bit “Yeah I was tired of the blonde, but I’m nervous this might be too plain though it does look a lot better I might add some color or maybe like a couple of blo- sorry I blabbering” he giggles a little too hard eyes turning into crescents and cheeks burning red “sorry that was a weird statement, not your fault, haha but um I’m Wonbin…” he scammed your features and your reactions finding them all so cute how expressive and real you are it’s like he could see you take note of his name in your head.

“Wonbin.. pretty I like it! I’m y/n” his face burned more and he couldn’t help but let out a nervously high giggle “Also pretty I think you're pretty too and I wanted to introduce myself properly and take you on a date or two before you know, Valentine's” gulp.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Quick Thoughts on Nimona

Based on the graphic novel by the creator of that She-Ra reboot no one likes anymore, Nimona is a movie that is well-worth the wait.

For those who don’t know, this WAS originally a Blue Sky Studios produced movie intended to be in theaters. They got about...80-90% done before Disney shut down the studio and forced Nimona to be indefinitely shelved until someone wanted it.

And it turns out that Netflix wanted it. And boy...Blue Sky REALLY dodged a bullet with this one.

Oh, not because the movie is bad. Again, it is VERY well-worth the wait.

The animation is stellar, having a unique style that sets it apart from other animated movies, as well as having fluent movements and bombastic facial expressions. The most it shines are in the action sequences, which are fun to watch even if there’s not many of them (really wish there were, though).

And the characters are also pretty decent. Ballister has a very tragic beginning to his story, as well as a character arc that’s pretty endearing.

His boyfriend Ambrosius is also endearing, having a decent conflict that makes you understand his side and why he’s always willing to go back and forth on what to do.

And the main antagonist, who is a surprise that’s cleverly revealed halfway, is a great villain representing the flaws of authority and why the people who make the laws actually have zero value on human life. It IS easy to tell they’re the twist villain, and their motivations are a little lacking, but you can let that stuff go if its thematically appropriate, which it is.

But then there’s the real star of the film: Nimona. At first, I found it a little weird how she’s top billing with how much of the story’s conflict is based on Ballister, but the film really picks up with Nimona, who is the heart of the movie. She’s definitely that character who some are going to love while others are going to hate, but I find her wild and violent tendencies entertaining and her chemistry with Ballister to be on point. Plus, her backstory and attitude towards how people see her really helps to endear her.

Seriously, I wasn’t expecting too much drama from Nimona, but BOY does it deliver with a few heart-clenching scenes that almost got to me a few times.

Not to mention that the themes of...I guess anti-police is the best way to put it. It’s made pretty obvious that the knights and their director are to represent the police system, and the movie does well to illustrate the flaws of it. Not EVERYTHING is perfect, but it’s...good enough.

Any real complaints I have towards the movie is the pacing and the jokes. The movie knows when to slow down for when it’s important, but there are some scenes that fly by, particularly some bonding moments between Ballister and Nimona and the development of their relationship. And the jokes can be hit or miss. When it hits, it’s REALLY funny. When it doesn’t, it’s REALLY awkward.

But that’s about it...So, WHY do I say that Blue Sky dodged a bullet with this one?

Because this is a movie that’s very against police and VERY supportive of the LGBTQA+ community. Nimona makes it clear that the bad guys are the ones who kill what society deems as monsters, even though some of these monsters got that name because all they did was exist.

If Disney didn’t kill Blue Sky, the amount of homophobic and conservative parents demanding that Nimona got pulled from theaters WOULD.

People already aren’t alright with the gay and mind-changing stuff that’s on TV nowadays. Hell, I saw on Twitter that a guy destroyed his sons Funko pop collection AND TV just because the kid was watching THE OWL HOUSE. There are VERY bad parents out there who would do anything to “protect the children,” and Blue Sky would have undoubtedly went down for a VERY brave stand to take.

Which is a shame because Nimona really is that good. It’s a solid 7/10 film that left me entertained throughout and should be seen by everyone. Bit of a warning, there’s a bit of an attempt to self-harm/suicide near the end...but thankfully it was only an attempt.

Still, check out Nimona. It’s fun, it has heart, and it’s pleasant on the eyes. You won’t be disappointed by this one.

[doing-swell]

(totally understand if this is too personal/you don't want to answer on anon, I'm just also too embarrassed to direct message) how did you work through religious guilt around sexuality/especially attraction to pregnancy? I'm 28f and finally starting to explore more sexually. I definitely don't want kids but the idea of being pregnant is so hot to me and I feel bad even looking at blogs about it. I know logically there's nothing inherently wrong with finding this stuff hot but ooooh boy shame brain disagrees. If you have capacity/ability to talk about how this was for you I'd appreciate it--I also have felt this way since I was a kid and it was really helpful just to know that someone else had that experience!!! Thank you either way, hope you're well<3

Anon! Thank you so much for asking 🩷

It’s taken me a long time to get here, even just viewing these blogs and seeing this content a few years ago would have REALLY scared me away. I always knew I was interested in pregnancy from a young age, and growing bellies were something that I looked to in absolute awe. I didn’t realize it was something I was thinking sexually about until I was in my teens — and then, I was confused even more because I didn’t know I was gay (lol). To be honest, I don’t even remember coming to the realization it was sexual. THAT is how much I pushed it away in my brain. A lot of my life I’ve been suppressing these feelings, taking them and shoving them in a box and putting them on a shelf. Thinking… okay I’ll save THAT for later.

(Continued below!)

It was this blog that made me come to terms with the fetish and kink in general - and the people I’ve met on here made me realize what I experienced was unlike what they also experienced. That was the first step in me realizing, oh hey, this isn’t fucking weird. Other people have the same thoughts and that’s OKAY!

I also think in general it’s so hard to know the people around you and what turns them on… and tbh, no one needs to know that (unless they want to be forward about it). EVERYONE has something a lil kinky they like, whether they’ve found that thing or not, and at the end of the day I’m grateful I know what turns me on AND that I can (or could) actually experience it one day.

Telling my therapist was a huge step for me as well, I told her about my pregnancy fetish a few months ago and what I thought would be met with judgement and disgust was met with… neutrality. She told me that EVERYONE has their thing, and a huge part of why I’m shameful of it is that I’m embarrassed by SEX. Not my fetish. Embracing your sexuality, especially growing up in religious communities is not easy. We were taught our whole lives to be good little girls and never think about such horrid things - but I’m here to say that thinking about these things is 1. Fun and 2. Teaches you who you are and how your relationship with sex could be!

The next step after telling my therapist was telling my girlfriend. I truly thought in my teens and in college I would NEVER tell anyone about my fetish but here I am, in a healthy and happy relationship, with a partner who loves me AND knows about this blog and my fetish. It is freeing in a way I never knew was possible. Hearing her tell me the show we’re about to start has 3 pregnancies I can look forward to, or her telling me she’s so excited for me to be so hot and pregnant with her babies…. It’s HOT. And it’s what other folks who don’t have our certain fetish experience too. We deserve love. We deserve to be turned on and to not live in shame of who we are.

At the end of the day, as long as we’re not hurting anyone with this fetish, we’re only hurting ourselves by suppressing it.

Sorry for the lengthy response, but you definitely unleashed something in me! Always happy to chat with you if you’re ever comfortable. No need to be embarrassed. I wish you so much love and luck in your journey. 🥳🩷

[ohfallingdisco]

I’ve been scrolling on the byler tag and like I don’t understand something.

why is it delusional for Mike and Will to have similar internalized homophobia or similar queer stories. Straight characters literally have similar and/or the same stories.

And besides it’ll never be the same experiences between them.

While Will had Lonnie and the bullies making him feel like being queer is wrong, he was also surrounded by Joyce and Jonathan who made him feel like being different is good. I mean his speech in the van to Mike, saying that Mike makes him feel like being different is a good thing and that it makes him fight on. so yes, Will has internalized homophobia but it’s the 80s, im sure even Robin has it too. Like it was basically shamed if you were queer, who wouldn’t have internalized homophobia.

Mike had his dad and the bullies too making him feel like being queer will get you killed or that it’s a bad thing. Except he didn’t have a older sibling to tell him that it’s okay to be different because Nancy was going through something similar with how she thought she had to act a certain way. And his mom, though she told him in s1 that he can tell her anything and had a queer coded scene, she hasn’t since after. So he’s gonna have some internalized homophobia no matter what. But unlike Will he doesn’t have the side that tells him it’s okay and even better being different. So he conforms to the society norms and hides that part of himself, and even to himself he hides it. But in s4 he has Eddie. Someone had pointed out this so credits to them, that Eddie made Mike feel like being different, liking D&D and not conforming to the norms is cool. I mean Eddie’s speech about how “forced conformity is what’s killing the kids” probably wasn’t the first time he brought it up. And we even see it in Mike’s clothes. He finding out who he is and not hiding so much from it.

All to say is, everyone is allowed to think what they want about a character. What I don’t like seeing is people saying it’s delusional to think that Mike and Will are on similar queer storylines.

Why is it delusional??

They aren’t the same story anyways. They definitely would parallel each other but it’s different. parallel doesn’t mean exactly exactly the same. it’s just similar.

seriously. we need to stop throwing around the words crazy delusional or even weird, because like at the end of the day we all agree that Mike is queer. and that Byler is endgame.

we keep saying we all can have our own opinions and then see posts that call eachother delusional or weird. Like stop.

we’re not even fighting about different things. It’s like we’re yelling at eachother but we agree on things.

Oh anon, you and me both, I completely agree

I’ve seen people get really defensive about any other characters mirroring Will’s story, which I think I understand where they’re coming from when they say stuff like “he’s the only one with X trauma so don’t take it from him,” but also—a lot of queer people grow up with similar experiences? And he’s not the only queer character we have anymore. Their stores all parallel each other, even if they are wildly different.

Will is gay, in love with his best friend, a young teenager figuring himself out, has experienced homophobia onscreen, and has found one or more outlets for negative feelings as a result of his queerness.

In addition to, all under 18:

Robin, a lesbian, who likes someone from band she’s been shown to be very friendly with, and has shown expectation of homophobia onscreen—and has verbally expressed fear over being outed to the wrong person. Steve has narratively and thematically been built to be her queer support by s4: he’s not going through the same problems as she is, but he loves her unconditionally and supports her for who she is.

Vickie, heavily implied to be bisexual or somewhere under that umbrella, whose boyfriend was someone she wanted to go to a weapons store of all places with, and who now likes Robin now, a girl from band she’s been shown to be very friendly with and interested in getting along with. Her experiences with homophobia are more subtle, but we see her really jittery when it’s hinted she could be queer. I say that counts. Her queer support comes most obviously in the pb&j talk with Robin at the end of s4, though she seems well-adjusted enough to reasonably have more, honestly.

And, Mike—surprise!—follows the pattern, too. I personally think it makes the most narrative sense with the queercoding established if he was gay, but bi Mike and other interpretations are valid and cool, too. We agree he’s in love with his best friend, of course, and from the very first season, we saw Troy and his squad targeting most of their taunts about Will being a “fairy” etc. at Mike, and anti-gay propaganda being spread avidly around him. His queer support, like you said, despite the few others who’ve offered, was definitely Eddie. S4 was the first time we’ve seen Mike openly embracing his true self, and his one episode in Hawkins carried queer Mike being happy for most of the show. Of course, Will would’ve probably loved to have been support for Mike, but he has no clue Mike is queer, obviously.

So, yeah, that’s a long-winded way to say I agree lol. Straight cis allosexual people even go through a lot of the same experiences during adolescence, so why would it be any different for queer people? Hell, honestly, with the way the show’s going, I wouldn’t be surprised if we got queer Henry Creel in flashbacks, too.

I really appreciate the ask!! You’ve clearly thought about this and brought some really interesting points to the table, so cheers for that lol. I don’t know why there’s so much division about queer experiences needing to be totally different for them to be unique, but hopefully people will come around soon. Frustration is normal, but it always ends eventually, in good situations.

I don’t know how much I answered your question, exactly, but hope this was at least entertaining anon lmao 💜

[epicene-humanoid]

some trans Jeff thoughts:

he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)

he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret

"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition

he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look

he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him

i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.

abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.

abed's predictions:

britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that

shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry

troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more

annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots

peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)

the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it

sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?

YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god

i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)

spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3

i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times. 

like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through). 

either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.

 and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.

OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode. 

AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.

and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.

another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao

and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3

also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that. 

okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous. 

in conclusion:

they’re trans, your honor <3

[irrelevant13]

My unpopular LGBT opinions

since my blog is discourse/trans related I thought I would share some of my “hot takes” 

1. Neo pronouns are inherently transphobic and ablest: I'm just going to link my post about them because its a lot to get into right here. https://irrelevant13.tumblr.com/post/653907281869750272/neopronouns 

2. Demi genders are not real: you cannot be “partially one gender” thats not how that works

3. Nonbinary is a valid gender identity: as long as you have dysphoria and are not invading other peoples spaces (lesbians, trans mens, etc) you’re valid imo. 

4. Pronouns = Gender: If they don’t equal gender then why is it called “misgendering” when you call a transwoman “he” or a transman “her”? Pronouns are used as lazy nouns to describe people. If the average person is describing a man they’re going to say “he” 

5. Gender is not a social construct: male, female, nb, are genders. These are not social constructs. Gender roles, how you express your gender, etc, are social constructs. 

6. He/Him lesbians are not valid: Gender = pronouns. He/Him are male pronouns. Lesbians are women that like other women. By using a male pronoun and identifying as a lesbian you are contradicting yourself.

7. Nonbinary lesbians are not valid: lesbian = a woman who loves and is interested in women. There are labels for woman loving NB people. trans people do not need to be changing the definition of lesbian that is literally what TERFS are afraid of. And its completely unnecessary. 

8. Micro-lables are unnecessary

9. the LGBTQIA+ Wiki is trash and should be deleted: there's so much fucking misinformation on there

10. The acronym is LGBT 

11. Asexual is not a valid sexuality: its a preference and should not be included in the lgbt community because its not the same as being gay or trans. 

12. KINK DOES NOT BELONG AT PRIDE: I understand there's a history. But kink related things do not need to be ANYWHERE near minors and pride is an event for all LGBT people. INCLUDING minors. Im probably going to make a whole post about this as well because there's a lot more to discuss about it. 

13. dysphoria is NEEDED to be trans: this shouldn't even be a hot take or a fucking debate. saying dysphoria is not needed is transphobic and so fucking invalidating. saying dysphoria is not needed to be trans is implying being trans is a choice, which it is not. i'm going to make a whole blog post about why the “you need euphoria!!” argument is flawed because its a lot to get into here. 

14. pansexual is invalid, transphobic and biphobic: pansexual is the worst sexuality in my opinion. i’m going to have to make it its own post because there is WAY too much to get into that it wont fit here.  

15. genital preferences are not transphobic: and saying they are is weird. if a lesbian does not like male genital's she should not be forced to say she wouldn't mind dating a transwoman. same with gay men and straight people. people cannot help their preferences and they shouldn't be shamed or deemed evil for them (within reason of course)

16. if a lesbian does not want to date a transwoman, its not transphobic. and if a gay man does not want to date a transman, its not transphobic: this is really just repeating the last point but it really annoys me when people call other people “transphobic” for their preferences.  

17. the Q word is a slur: and cishets using it rubs me the wrong way. 

18. Intersex people should not be lumped into the LGBT community: Being intersex is not like being trans or gay. If you feel otherwise I’d love to hear your take on this. 

19. polyamorous should not be considered part of the lgbt community: being in a relationship with multiple people is different from being trans or gay. Poly in itself is not part of the community in my opinion but there can be lgbt people that are polyamorous. 

20. The “inclusive flag” is hideous and pointless: I’m talking about the one with the intersex flag in it. the normal inclusive flag is just plain unnecessary. Trans and POC were already included in the LGBT community we didn’t need a whole new flag to “include” us. (by us I mean trans people, I’m obviously not speaking about POC considering the fact I’m very white) I guess I’m open to hear arguments regarding the purpose of the inclusive flag though.

21: Calling the gay man flag “the toothpaste flag” is homophobic: I’ve ONLY seen people refer to the flag as the toothpaste flag in a negative way and I think its rather homophobic but I haven't seen many people talk about it. 

22: Biphobia is so normalized in the LGBT community and not enough people are talking about it: Seriously this also warrants its own blog post. 

23: transmedicalism is not harmful and is needed: this is going to be one of the more unpopular opinions but transmedicalism is not harmful. also cis transmeds are very cool. 

24: “experimenting” with hormones is harmful and is NOT the way to figure out your gender identity: this shouldn't have to be said but if you aren't sure if you want to transition don't take horomones to figure it out. the affects of testosterone are often irreversible. 

I’m sure i’m forgetting some but these are the big ones I guess. Also, when I make the blogs for the opinions I said I would make blogs for, I’ll make sure I link them. 

[hillchill]

ACS S03E10, Whataburger? Nothing burger.

Why are we back with Monica, if we’ve established every one of the viewers kinda cares more about the turmoil in the WH and Clinton family and not the internal turmoil of Monica (at least that’s what the viewership data says)

Urgh ML is ALREADY talking book deals, before the impeachment is even over

The Starr report lawyers were really so crass, more about shock value than anything else

STARR! IT WAS A WITCH HUNT!!!

Bill Clinton’s behaviour had nothing to do with Nixon’s. The latter was a true crook.

OOOOOF how badly is that “Drudge Report” first page green screened onto that computer monitor?!?! Pls, ACS, get a refund from whomever did your special effects!

Look, now that @jolied has made me get the hots for Clive Owens, by virtue of her posting all of the gifs of him grimed up well and such, I kinda feel weird seeing this WJC on screen because, despite not having much attraction for the genuine article, I am kinda feeling something stir when I see Clive Owen’s version on screen.

Wait, Laura Ingraham dated Lindsey Graham?!?! I guess he’s not gay after all?!?!

I’ve NEVER, NEVER seen a laptop boot up so fast in the 90s

Ok, but Monica, what were you expecting them to write in the report after you gave them the dress? TDid you expect them to leave it out? Of course your dad shouldn’t read it!!!

Cobie Smoulder manages to be charming even when she’s playing terrible people

Yeah, Monica, why did you have to tell them about the cigar. Urgh. That’s the most squck thing there is in that report. Also, you didn’t want him to go down on you, but a cigar is ok?! I mean, not to kinkshame, but you truly are submissive huh?

Exactly, “Why would she tell them all this detail?”… …unless there’s another explanation and in the moment she kinda was “proud” of her “achievement” of having an affair with the President. If you’re the only one knowing about stuff like the cigar then why, for the love of G-d, would you disclose it?!?!

Also, idk, there is a certain level of trust between two poeople who have intimate contact and some sort of unspoken rule that you don’t tell the more “out there” or maybe “stranger” stuff you try while being intimate to people who are even friends, unless you’re pretty much sure they’re kinda kinky as well or at least accepting and understanding! I mean, I don’t have much sympathy for Bill in this instance, but if the cigar thing is true, imagine having it plastered out for the whole world to read?! (And especially for Chelsea?!). Like, who gave you permission to just spill EVERYTHING? Wasn’t the more traditional stuff enough?

Ok, but why is the mum all of a sudden hiding her face in half shame, when she knew of the relationship?!?! Like, I thought the sex wasn’t news to you??

ALso, I know that oral sex had a little bit of a worse connotation in the 9past 0s than it has now, at least from what I gather, but why would you be ok with an affair, but suddenly have qualms about the type of sex they were having?

Honestly, Drudge’s reaction in the 90s is how most people would react to their internet being down nowadays and I understand the sentiment of “You don’t need to be posting, *I* need to be posting!!!” (Let me have this moment of levity)

Ann, you know what glory holds are?! (I was going to say George Michael has yet to come out, but I actually looked up the dates and the arrest happened in April, while this happens in September, so I guess by that time everyone knew)

Ok, I’m glad they acknowledged the fact that, apparently, poor Chelsea read it.

(Begin incredibly inappropriate parenthesis about the fact WJC apparently stifled Monica’s moans) erm? I guess “Choke me daddy” is far older than what we give it credit for? (Back to normal transmissions)

Yeah, Storm Thurmond would have read it with only one hand. We know what he commented to Hillary about her, I wouldn’t be surprised.

WJC imbarassed the country, well, kind of, but no one has thought of Hillary so far

Oh, here she is

Yeah, they’re right about the basically non-impeachability of the whole thing, come on

Ok, look, I understand she hasn’t read it, but I guess HRC felt hugely embarrassed never the less, even if it wasn’t her fault and even if she didn’t know what the contents of the Report were, because we know she is kinda cagey with her personal life and, by extension, with her relationship to Bill, so I think she’d feel that kind of shame and frustration and anger that makes your cheeks burn hot and glow red and makes you cry fat warm tears even when you wouldn’t want to cry at all, just out of the sheer embarrassment of it all/basically being half of the USA’s butt of the joke as well, even if she was probably treated better than Monica was face to face. Come on, this notion that she is a cold fish persists to this day and it’s in part also related to Flowers firs and the Report second

Linda, you made your bed, then sleep in it

Yeah yeah… I don’t believe for a second that Monica thought to say sorry to Hillary or Chelsea right away, given some of her giggling interviews some time after the facts, when she wasn’t under a gag order anymore

Ok, now a genuine question: how is it that when Tripp decided to tape ML it is a crime (and rightfully so), but it’s not a problem if these personal convos are released to the public at large?

Monica’s friend about the impeachment: “It’s not all you’ll do in life!” Ahahaha, I beg to differ, since she rehashes it at every occasion

Those hats are really 90s

Why are we having this feel-good sisterhood of the travelling pants kind of vibe cinematography that really seems out of place?

THANK GOD YOU ADMIT YOU WERE OBSESSED, DESPERATE AND OUT OF CONTROL, MONICA! Now you understand why you came off as quite crazy to some people?

NO!! I LOVE YOU’VE GOT MAIL, YOU CANNOT ASSOCIATE THAT MOVIE WITH ML, I WILL FIGHT YOU, IT’S THE ULTIMATE FEEL GOOD COMFORT MOVIE FOR ME

Ok, but why is marriage your ultimate goal here, Monica? Also, there are plenty of people who suffered scandals who have gone on with their lives, while you’re always on this same old same old, no wonder you get only associated with it!

Ok, why are we coming back to Broaddrick again? I wouldn’t have touched it again in this series

Urgh, the fact that this Hillary doesn’t appear sad or shaken or frustrated or, heck, even combative, but just smug when there is talk of the senate seat is a total perversion of the true HRC and I just hate it

Urgh, yeah yeah the parallel photo shoots, blah blah blah, it’s even too obvious, but the faces Edie Falco is doing are just *not* Hillary? How can one misunderstand her so much, if they’ve done even a sliver of research?!

The PJ shoot is painful to watch

Are we still talking about this fucking kill list?!

This is bad because I am thirsting after Clive Owens quite a lot at the moment, even with a belly *facepalms into infinity*

On a more topical note, still there “Clintons” have all the chemistry there is between chalk and cheese *facepalms for different reasons°

Honestly, I didn’t get the joke?

Ok, now this is ridiculous, they are two choreographed marionettes these two. Not even a supportive hug? From the couple which is out there holding each other in every configuration possible all the time?! GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

When they were going down the corridor, I thought they would at least recreate the hand holding at Trump’s inauguration, when Hillary had to come out to the stage, becuse it seemed to parallel that, but they aren’t even doing that?! They seem two agents out of Men in Black and even those ones have better chemistry?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

OH NO, YOU DON’T DISPARAGE HILLARY LIKE THIS, NOT ON MY COMPUTER SCREEN! SHE HAS CHARISMA, BUT YOU HAVE TO GET HER.

Thank you Monica, for getting some sass and for answering back, I guess that after that episode when you were basically a doormat you’ve learnt to not be intimidated by authority

Ok, if WJC made his lawyers rely how sorry he was, why does Monica keep saying he never apologised to her? I mean, I get there’s a difference, but WJC has never been heartless when talking about her, even though he has stated that the affair was a mistake and a lack of judgement on his part…

Oh, is this the big revelation Paulson teased about Linda Tripp? You should have set it up better before to have an emotional payoff, now I just think she was petty and wanted to uncover Clinton because she couldn’t her father, just with the difference of like idk? 30 or 40 years of life experience more than when she was a tween/teen? And if you say that your mother barely survived having these infidelities out in the open, then why, Linda, did you elect to make Hillary live trough this same thing? It doesn’t make sense.

Urgh, Monica, girl, think with your own head! Don’t put the blame for everything on WJC

Look, I really have trouble thinking that Bill “can I walk you home” Clinton assaulted someone, since I think it would have happened more and way earlier (IE, when he, instead, was offering to walk girls home, which yeah, is blatant, but is not criminal).

Yeah yeah, uncaring youths, blah blah blah

But why are you making such a point of Broaddrick 12 minutes before the end of the series? I bet they thought this would spark renewed interest in the case and that it was going to be the next big Thing in the MeToo movement, but it kinda flopped?

But why are half of these women getting a makeover? Urgh, the 90s were terrible for women’s self image

Linda… this is BOOORINGGGGG. We’re not here for a retrospective on Linda Tripp, are we? Why?

Yeah, great, you show people yelling borderline inappropriate stuff at Monica, but you don’t show even one of the thousands t-shirts Republicans have made with that slogan “Hillary sucks, but not like Monica”, which I’ve always intended as a slight towards Hillary and pretty much never as one towards ML? Because giving your portrayal, it seems like Hillary got what she (supposedly, at least according to your narrative) wanted of this situation [the senate seat and an opening for herself into the political world], while ML is supposedly the one who got effed up the most, despite jollingly going on interviews where she got to explain in giggles how come she was so bold with the thong and so on. I don’t think the public reception to ML in the 90s would have been so crass if she had somehow taken a different tone in her appearances and hadn’t tried to live the showbiz life, like when secured a spot as a host of a (VERY short lived) dating show on tv or tried to market a line of handbags designed by her. I’m not saying she should have disappeared, but I think there are other factors that contributed to her image as a sort of airhead who wasn’t really that traumatised or damaged by the scandal, at least initially.

Anyway, Monica is, of course, the only one who can speak about her mental state, but sometimes she hasn’t seemed that genuine to me, when reporting about that department.

The most important thing is, this series is over. All in all, as a final opinion, I’d say it was mostly a nothing burger and definitely not the memorable piece of media it purported to be.

I’d like to read your opinions as well in the comments, now I’m gonna head out to the discord server and catch on to the opinions of some other people in the fandom who have seen the episode before I could.

[whatiwillsay]

submission: we need to talk about ttb (spade-riddles)

Hey Cam. Seeing that ask defending TTB’s doxxing has sort of pushed me to finally share some of my story on Tumblr, I guess. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about this to anyone fully, so this will probably be long, but I hope you don’t mind me venting.

I’m one of the people that got emailed by TTB. I don’t feel comfortable posting this off anon, but I was in a Discord server with you and @bisluthq and some other people back in Dec/Jan. I don’t know if you remember me, but my name on there was one word and began with an L and ended with an S.

I want to share the full story, but I also don’t feel comfortable with sharing certain details publicly because I’m still very wary of getting outed further by her if she sees this, so I’m gonna be vague about some things

Request to her followers — If you see this, please don’t send this to her. Like I’m genuinely asking you not to because I don’t trust her not to cross any more lines. My dad is a major homophobe with serious anger issues who has literally been arrested for violence before, and she doesn’t really think carefully or maybe even care about how any actions she takes could lead to people being harmed, so I’m not eager to see how she might react.

Anyway, I first got an email back in December, and I was really freaked out by it at first. I spoke to one of my mutuals about it, and although we both agreed it was super weird and invasive and creepy, we ended up trying to see the funny side of it. So, I kinda just brushed it off and moved on. I was mainly just really confused about why I had been targeted because at the time, I thought it was only me who’d gotten an email like that. I didn’t understand why she’d specifically targeted me instead of other people who she clearly disliked a lot more.

About a week later, I saw someone on Tumblr mentioning a strange email, and I realised other people must have gotten them too. I spoke to Nat about what happened to me and ended up in the Discord

At the time, I felt like I’d gotten off really easy comparatively to others because I initially didn’t realise that she’d contacted anyone else. And so I tried to act chill about it because I didn’t want to make things about me, but honestly, I was extremely anxious. I felt on edge for over a week. I would keep checking her blog again and again because I was super worried that she would post our personal details publicly. I scrolled through my entire blog from start to finish and deleted a lot of posts that were either personal or that I just didn’t want anyone I knew in real life to read.

This part I have to be vague about because it would basically give away who I am, but it was only a while later when I thought I was in the clear that someone I knew in real life texted me and mentioned seeing a weird email about me. The email had been sent a while back, and they’d been shown it by the original recipient/s. Multiple people had been shown it, but luckily (kinda), only two of those people were actually people I saw on a regular basis

I’m mostly closeted, but I’m kind of technically out to a few of my immediate family members. But it’s very much a DADT situation because they’re not accepting, and they like to just pretend I’m straight. And so I basically have to act closeted even when I’m around them, and I can’t even ALLUDE to being gay.

But with my dad, it’s different. He’s very homophobic. I’m only gonna mention this next part so that people understand what kind of dangerous situation that TTB could have put me in. (And the other people that she doxxed too because she didn’t know how safe their individual situations were). It’s all really personal, and I wouldn’t ordinarily feel comfortable sharing any of this at all, even anonymously, but I think it needs to be said because her actions were extremely fucking irresponsible.

Right, so when I first “came out” to my dad, it was actually an accident, and he reacted… extremely badly. This was back in like… 2018 or 2019, I can’t remember the exact year

(TW // physical abuse, homophobia)

He was extremely angry, literally shaking. He yelled at me, he described in graphic detail how he was going to “break every bone in my body”, “strangle the life out of me”, “drown me”, etc. He kept telling me that I’m disgusting and going to Hell, you get the idea. He was having a lot of fun with making strangling motions and stabbing motions with his hands, and he kept slamming his hand onto the table. That went on for about 15 minutes, and then he stood up and threw a chair from the dining table at me. That was fun lol. And he punched me in the head pretty hard which kinda knocked me back. I felt dizzy, I had to sit down on the floor. At that point, my mum who had been crying and asking him to stop physically intervened, and he ended up storming out of the house instead. My mum’s a genuinely good person btw. She’s a little homophobic, but she cares about me a lot, and I’m very grateful for her. She hates him too, but she’s kinda stuck with him… It wasn’t her fault

He literally hates gay people. He complains about us on the regular. One time, he threw the remote at the TV and cracked the screen just because there was a gay male couple kissing onscreen. Another time, he threw a rock at a gay man on the street. There was also a time where he forced a few of my siblings (who didn’t want to do it) to throw peeled oranges out of the window at people celebrating pride while he drove past them and yelled insults at them. He found that really funny. Anyway, I’m sure you guys get the idea of what kind of person he is

He hasn’t laid a hand on anybody in several months though, so I do think he’s trying to be better at least. Like he’s still verbally abusive and controlling and awful, but I appreciate that he’s at least making an effort to calm down with the hitting and kicking and stuff

Anyway, with my dad, it’s less DADT and more that I think he’s got it in his head that he managed to scare me into “seeing the error of my ways” and that I’ve “stopped choosing to be gay” and that I’m now straight. So, if it had been HIM who had gotten that email, it would’ve been like… extremely bad. Like I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. And this is why I’m so angry at TTB. It was extremely, extremely irresponsible of her to not consider these kinds of possibilities before she sent out her stupid emails. She’s supposed to be an ally, but it didn’t even cross her mind that these emails would lead to people being outed and possibly even harmed?? It’s not okay at all. I’m just very grateful that she didn’t send one to him because I don’t even know what kind of situation I would be in right now.

Anyway, enough about my fucking awful dad… I feel uncomfortable that I even typed all of that out, but I wanted people to understand how dangerous her actions could have been. Like I mean, my dad’s got PTSD and extreme anger issues from his teenage years, so I do try not to judge him TOO harshly, but there’s no excuse for being a huge bigot or occasionally violent. The idea of him being the one who got that email is still so scary to me. Like my heart is racing just thinking about it

One of the people that DID read the email was the male friend I mentioned earlier though. He was shown it by someone else for a particular reason, and he was a very important person to me. Like he was a good guy, we were close, he helped me out with certain personal issues I have and is one of only two people that I know in real life that I felt comfortable confiding in about them. We’d always meet up once a week, sometimes twice, and we’d just talk about stuff and make an effort to help each other out with things. Like he was very important to me.

It turns out that he’d looked through my blog before I’d got around to scrubbing it, and he asked me if I was gay in person the next time we met up. I couldn’t lie because like… he’d have known I was lying right to his face. So, I told him I was, and you should have seen his face. It made me feel so awful about myself. He looked really stunned and shocked and kinda uncomfortable. Like it got so awkward, and I started rambling and making things worse. He was avoiding eye contact, and my voice was shaking.

I ended up making up an excuse to leave about 5 mins later and had an actual anxiety attack. Again, this is embarrassing and something I’d never usually talk about online, but I just want to get it all off my chest so that I can move past it all.

So, I was like on the verge of tears (I don’t cry easily), I couldn’t breathe properly, I was pacing around the building, and I just wanted to escape, so I headed straight for the doors. There was a queue of about 100 people lined up and waiting to leave, and I couldn’t think straight or breathe and just needed to be outside, so I tried to go out through the other exit which is for staff only. The security guard stopped me and basically publicly humiliated me in front of all of those people. He loudly shamed me and said I “didn’t have any decency” for attempted to jump the queue, lectured me in this really condescending tone, and then sent me right to the back of that huge line. Meanwhile, I was literally in the midst of a bad anxiety attack.

And then I eventually got outside and had to call my mum to come and pick me up instead of just making my own way home like I usually do. She’s amazing though tbh because she actually came to get me and didn’t even question why. I had to skip all of my plans for the rest of the day and instead just hid upstairs in my bedroom with the lights off until the next day. I refused to tell any of my family members what had happened even though they kept asking. I just felt so, so awful, and my anxiety was through the roof

To be honest, before that happened, my mindset was like: “I mean, if I get outed, it obviously wouldn’t be good, but I think I’d be able to deal with it fine”. But then, when it actually happened, and I saw the way my close friend reacted, I had like a whole emotional breakdown lol. It’s like, you think you’d be fairly chill in a situation, but when it actually happens, your reaction can be really unpredictable. I was so embarrassed by everything about that entire incident. I didn’t even want to show my face the next day.

It’s been almost two months since that happened, and in that entire time, my friend has contacted me once. We literally used to meet up once or twice a week (and during lockdown, we’d do video calls or phone calls instead), but since then, we’ve barely even spoken. Things are just so awkward now. I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like TTB’s taken one of my best friends away from me. I don’t think he’s a homophobe or anything, he has openly gay friends and is fairly accepting, but I think it’s just the way that he found out that has just made things so weird between us now. I feel like if I’d had the chance to come out to him myself in my own way, he wouldn’t have reacted like that. But I’m gonna text him next week and see if we can maybe try to fix our friendship, but I doubt it at this point

The other people who were shown the email, I mostly just avoid. I don’t really care about them knowing that much because I wasn’t close to them, but it’s just really embarrassing knowing that they probably scrolled through my Tumblr blog before I scrubbed it

And about Tumblr… This used to be the only place that I could fully be myself. It was like a “safe space” for me which feels ironic now. But I haven’t been active on my blog since December. I still lurk occasionally, but I just don’t feel comfortable here anymore. I did consider deleting my current blog and starting afresh with a new one, but I don’t think it’d make much of a difference… Like she’s kind of ruined Tumblr for me. I do still enjoy reading people’s blogs every now and then, but I don’t feel relaxed here anymore, I just feel on edge.

It’s mainly the fact that SHE’S still here. She still has a platform, she still has a bunch of followers. It’s been so hard seeing her face next to no consequences whatsoever for the horrible things that she’s done to so many different people. And it upsets me that she hasn’t even acknowledged that what she did was wrong. Plus, it makes me feel even worse that the Hard Kay blogs and some other people are still supporting her and pretending that this whole thing just didn’t happen. Like do they just not care? Or is it that she’s twisted things and made them believe that the situation was different to what it actually was?

And tbh, this whole situation has even set me back in my own sort of personal self-acceptance journey. I had such bad internalised homophobia when I was younger, and it took me so many years to get to a place where I had mostly accepted myself. But now I just feel ashamed again, and I’ve gone back to my old habit of trying to force myself to be attracted to men. Like I downloaded Tinder the other day and set my preference to men and was swiping through profiles. It’s kinda silly actually. I did snap out of it and delete the app the next day though. But I don’t know, I feel like this whole thing has just kinda fucked with me a bit. I am trying to work this stuff out and get back to normal though. I think I’ll be good again in maybe a month or so, hopefully.

And… yeah. I just really resent her, and this situation upsets me. Because the reason she did this was so petty and ridiculous, and I guess she didn’t even realise how much it would impact people? Like I do know that my situation wasn’t as bad as some of the other people’s situations, and I feel really bad for them, and I hope they’re all doing okay. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for them. But it still has impacted me a lot more than I actually thought it would. I thought I’d get over it within a couple of weeks. But it’s been like two months, and I’m still not completely over it

I know it might not sound like a huge thing, but being outed really does affect you, even if it’s only to a few people. Because to me, I feel like I’ve had my sense of like, security and comfort taken away, and it’s kinda distressing. Sorry if I sound dramatic with any of this, I just really needed to say all of this stuff to other people besides myself lol

Like her actions have literally led to me being outed to a few people. A close friendship that I had has basically been ruined. I don’t feel comfortable or secure on Tumblr anymore, even though it used to be an important outlet for me. I’ve had a resurgence of anxiety about my sexuality. Etc.

And again, my dad is extremely homophobic and literally made death threats to me and physically attacked me back when I accidentally came out to him in 2018 or 2019. And if he had gotten that email, I don’t even know what would have happened. I don’t think he would have like… SERIOUSLY physically harmed me, but there would definitely have been a repeat of the first incident. More throwing chairs at me and hitting and screaming and death threats. I don’t really want to think about it.

It just bothers me that she didn’t even consider that? Like did it not even cross her mind? And my dad is bad, but I’m sure there are people in the fandom who have even worse parents, and she could have got one of those people instead. It’s just so… I don’t know, it’s just so frustrating to me.

Anyway, I just hate her for what she did… Like maybe I shouldn’t, but I really do resent her so much, and I don’t think I could forgive her even if she apologised to us all (which I don’t think she even would because she doesn’t seem to have any decency whatsoever). The least she could do is at least express some kind of remorse, but she just genuinely doesn’t care, and that’s super messed up. All over some stupid Tumblr blog that is much less important than she thinks it is.

But anyway… I apologise for the whole rant, and if anybody read all the way down to here, I appreciate it. I do actually feel a bit better now that I’ve got this all typed out. And I’m sorry for the oversharing lol, I usually don’t do this, but I just felt like I really needed to tell people and get it off my chest so that I can try to get over it — L

submisssion⬆️⬆️⬆️

ok L i am trying to remain calm here because this isn’t about me.  but i am very emotional right now.  i am so so so infinitely sorry that you had to go through this harrowing and terrifying experience.  ttb (now blogging under spade-riddles) is absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt, that she would put your life, safety, and well-being at risk over a fucking kaylor blog.

please please please im me or get in touch somehow because i want to offer you support.  have you been financially impacted by this?  we can raise money.  do you need therapy?  we can help you find the support you need.  this community is unequivocally here for you.  whatever you need, if it’s in my power to help you get it, i will.  you have my solemn promise on that.

i am so deeply and desperately sorry that you have gone through this.  i was shaking while reading your story.

i am in touch with other people and we are in discussion about the best way to let tumblr know what happened.  this will be a safe space for you (and all of us) again if it’s the last thing i do.  this community is 100% here for you in any way we can help, sending you all the support and love we have.

[thegreenmetblue]

STARKER FESTIVAL SUMMER BINGO : 2nd square

not a date

read on ao3

Peter was utterly anxious. To be honest, he’s not even sure anything in his life stressed him more than that. To be fair, he wasn’t expecting this. At all. Let’s go back to earlier in the day. This morning to be more precise.

Peter was lying in his bed, watching some weird videos on YouTube. But it was Saturday morning. It’s what teenagers do on a early Saturday morning (read : at 10 am). Not that the boy was gonna say it out loud but it was either that, either reading fanfictions about Spiderman and Iron Man. But shhh if you ask him, he’d say it’s only for checking how people are describing him.

Anyway, he was watching some hilarious videos Ned has sent him for the last six days when his phone stopped the video in exchange of Tony Stark’s face. Peter’s heart skipped a beat in his chest, like every time Tony’s calling him. “Yes ?”, he answers with a faint voice. Most of the times, he has no issues talking to Tony face to face but god knows why, Peter has still big issues with calls.

“If this isn’t my favorite young adult. Hi, Pete. Im sorry if woke up you. Or maybe not that sorry, it was time to anyway.”, Tony’s voice says in the speaker. Peter’s cheeks redden at that. He doesn’t know the reason of it, but it’s been almost two months Tony stopped calling him a kid. And now he just said young adult, it gives hope to Peter’s poor heart. Maybe Tony stopped seeing him as a kid. Maybe he sees him more as an equal now ? Lost in his thoughts, the boy doesn’t even realize he didn’t answer to the man on the other side of the phone.

“Alright, imma take that as a no. Gosh, I wondered what happened to the boy that was practically begging to have all my attention.”, Tony laughs softly. Again, he just said Peter wasn’t that boy anymore. The boy makes a little shame sound to the man’s comment about his behavior, feeling his cheeks burning even more.

“N-no, im sorry, im here mr. Stark. You didn’t wake me up. And please take that back, I was never asking for you attention, old man.”, Peter shoots back. He loves doing that. He loves talking back to Tony. “Imma pretend I didn’t hear what you just called me. And Im also gonna pretend like you’re not shamelessly lying to me at the moment. Anyway, you have plans tonight ?”, Tony asks, a bit of growling in his voice. This automatically warms Peter’s heart. He’s probably gonna go to Tony’s lab tonight.

Peter was trying not to smile too much when he remembered Tony wasn’t actually there. “No, I don’t have anything. You want me in the lab ?”, the boy asks and immediately regrets his choice of words. want me in the lab. Fuck. He was gonna say sorry to that, but thanks god Tony speaks before he can make it even more awkward. “No actually I was thinking of something a little more fun. What do you say about eating in a fancy restaurant tonight ?”. Peter’s heart doesn’t skip a beat this time, it skips severals. Tony wants- what ?

“What ?”, he lets out, without even realizing it. “Should I take that as a no again ?”. Tony’s voice echoes in Peter’s brain but never gets analyzed. The boy’s still frozen, his phone hanging in his hand, the sound of his beating heart ringing in his ears.

“Peter ? Fri just told me your heartbeats are unsually high, are you okay ?”. And this time, that wakes him up. “Wh-what ? Oh.. no that’s- im okay, it’s just- MJ!”, Peter stutters as an answer. He swears he can hear Tony’s frowning’s expression in the silence that follows.

“I mean, she- MJ, she sent me a funny, a text, it reminded me of something and I huh.. yeah. No, that’s yes.”. Another long silence. that’s a yes. Peter feels like he just answered a proposal. “Yes as in, im free for tonight, mr. Stark.”, Peter finishes, his cheeks burning with shame.

“Great. And Im not gonna question what just happened, alright ? Be ready for 7.”, Tony simply says before hanging up. Just like that. Just like he didn’t just made Peter’s brain completely fry.

“Did Tony just asked me on a date?”, Peter asks himself out loud, alone in his bedroom, his jaw hanging in shook. What the hell ?

That’s how Peter started the most stressful day of his entire life. Exams ? Spiderman ? Thanos ? Forget all of this, he has a freakin’ date with Tony freakin’ Stark, that is the real stressful shit. He spends half of the day walking in his apartment.

Around 3, he starts to panic hard because Tony said fancy. But Peter doesn’t have fancy clothes. He stayed in front of his phone, hesitating to send Tony something about that or no. He doesn’t want Tony to think he only has kid’s clothes. But then, better this than showing up in a fancy restaurant with a pun-sweat right ?

PP : How should I be dressed for tonight ?

Peter finally sends, not asking but hoping Tony’ll understand what he meant. His smile increases when, 6 minutes after, his phone rings.

TS : Happy is gonna drop you a suit at 5.

Peter’s inside catches fire at that. The words sugar daddy are ringing in his ears. Tony is gonna buy him a suit. Just for tonight. For their date. “Oh my god, imma be sick.”, Peter mumbles. His heart has been beating so fast since the call. And he feels like he’s gonna throw up. And he’s also happy. So happy. But- a date ? With Tony Stark ? Peter has been in love with the man for- he can’t even remember. Of course at first it was just a fan crush, then a real crush, then it bloomed into full love. And Peter never thought he could had a chance. But- Peter’s thoughts get cut by the entry door opening.

It’s May. And it’s been 5 hours now that Peter is combusting with impatience all alone in his apartment that he just can’t help himself. As soon as May starts taking to him, he blurts out : “I’ve got a date tonight!”

That’s how the hundreds of questions start. May knows he’s gay. However, May doesn’t know he loves Tony and she definitely doesn’t know the actual date is with Tony. So when she starts asking who he is, Peter realizes it maybe wasn’t the best idea. So after receiving the 5 hugs May felt like she needed to give him for that, the boy sends another text to Tony.

PP : Can we meet at the park next to my building please?

And then, he lets May giving him advices for tonight. “Alright, I get why you won’t tell me. Even if Im a little concerned, I get it. Where is he taking you ?”, she asks, a big smile on her face. “I don’t know actually, he just said it was somewhere fancy.”, Peter answers, trying not to let his smile gets to him too much.

“And how are you gonna get dressed ? You maybe can try some of Ben’s suit ?”. And Peter’s heart warms at that proposition. “It’s alright May, I already have something to wear actually.”

The two next hours aren’t better, they’re worst. May continues giving him advices. For his sakes, Peter swears himself to never use some. Then he takes a shower, the longest he never took. Just in case. He wants all of his skin to smell good for Tony. His cheeks brun at this thought. Are him and Tony gonna.. ? Now his whole body is warming up and Peter can’t help but jerking off at the thought of him and Tony going home tonight and having some fun.

When Happy leaves him a text saying the suit is in the mailbox, the boy sneaks to get it. Once the suit is on him, Peter can’t stop looking at his own reflection in the mirror. It’s a light blue suit and fuck, he does look good in those. His whole skin is shivering because Tony bought it to him. Tony’s money is touching his skin. The boy snorts at his own weird thoughts. But he can’t help it.

A small whine escapes his lips when he realizes there’s still 1h30 before Tony comes to get him. And that’s the absolute worst feeling ever. Peter tries to work, to watch a tv show, to talk with May, to phone MJ or Ned, to build lego, but nothing is able to make the time look less slow. And the more the time passes, the more Peter’s stomach gets stress crushed.

When 7 pm is finally approaching, Peter’s not even sure he can breath anymore. “Peter, hey- Peter, please can you stop ?”, May finally snaps and Peter turns to her, ready to burst at her that she doesn’t know how he feels right now, but she shushes him before he can even start.

“Everything’s gonna go well, angel. But please, you’re gonna faint before you’ll even get there, alright ? You’re handsome my baby, he’s gonna love you.”, May tries to calm him by hugging him. He was about to answer her when the clock beside them shows that 7 pm is in 5 minutes. Peter jumps saying he’s gonna be late and rushes out of the apartment.

He went down the stairs, crossed the street and went to the park in a 1 minute time. His heart is menacing to get out of his chest. And when he finally hears Tony’s voice behind him, his whole body jerks and he turns to the voice.

His heart stops again. Holy fuck, Tony is- he’s god-handsome. Peter’s jaw opens and doesn’t close.

“You’re doing alright Peter ?”, Tony asks, after a few seconds. Peter tries. He tries really hard. But Tony is in front of him, in a grey suit that looks absolutely heavenly hot on him, and they’re going on a date and-

“Peter ?”, this time, he forces himself to answer before Tony decides to leaves him there. “Hum… huh- yeah? Yeah you look good. I- I mean.. Im good! Im doing… good.”. He watches in horror as Tony tries to not laugh at him. “Blue suits you, by the way.”, Tony comments and Peter tries not to blush or smile at that.

Then the older one shows him the car behind them and Peter hurries inside.

“So. Why the park ?”, the man asks after a few seconds. Peter’s brows frown in confusion. “Forget it. Everything alright Pete ? You look… tense. Did something happened while you patrolled ?”. And this time, Peter’s sure he’s blushing. Why can’t he just relax ? Okay it’s a date but it shouldn’t be any different than the rest of the time they spend together.

“Yeah.. Yeah im sorry I was just a bit nervous, you know… I… Im happy you invited me tho! So.. where are we going ?”, the boy tries to show he’s grateful for this. The last thing he wants is Tony thinking he’s not happy about the date.

“It’s an Italian restaurant, my favorite one. You’ll see, everything that’ll get into your mouth tonight will make you fly.”, Tony answers and there’s a silence. Peter’s cheeks burn hot now. Did Tony really said- oh my god. “Im just realizing how it sounds. Maybe not my best choices of words.”, the man laughs. laughs, as if he didn’t created a whole fire in Peter’s body. The boy just prays not to pop up a boner just because of a single sentence.

The rest of the ride is just small talks and when they finally arrive, Peter stays close to Tony, it makes him feel protected. And he likes it. The smile on his face is uncontrollable. He can’t believe he’s on an actual date with Tony Stark. His heart is about to burst from happiness. And the place is stunning, and Tony’s stunning. And Peter sees people watching them and he feels proud. He knows how much people want Tony. But Tony’s there with him.

Once they’re seated, Peter can’t help but stare at Tony who’s in front of him. And the only thing he can think of is that he loves him. But the boy shuts up. Tony didn’t mentioned it being a date yet, and even when he does, Peter can’t just say he loves him already.

When the menu comes, Peter just stare at the Italian names blankly. “I… I don’t understand anything that’s written.” , he murmurs to Tony, a bit ashamed. But the man just fondly snorts in response and translates him the different propositions. But after the explanations, Peter’s still lost as fuck. what the fuck are all of those ?. Tony laughs again, louder this time, noticing Peter’s lost face.

“You know what, I’ll order for you. How does that sound ?”. The boy’s heart stops and he flushes different shades of red at once. Tony is gonna order for him. “That- That sounds good. Im sorry I don’t know what are those.”, Peter finally says. “Hey, none of that Pete. Plus, Im kinda excited for you to try what I’ll pick for you.”, the man says, like it wasn’t making Peter squirm in his chair. Oh my god, he’s gonna die.

To give himself a bit of capacity, he pretends to read the menu once again and pouts noticing the prices aren’t there. Meaning it must be like, super expensive. He knows Tony can pay, and there’s a side of him that likes it. Because it’s easier for him to call Tony Daddy in his head. But there’s also a part of him that hates it because it feels like he can’t complete. May and Peter are kinda broke and Peter would have liked to be able to pay a restaurant to Tony too.

“What’s up with the pout ?”. Shit. “N-Nothing, mr. Stark really. It’s just… you know, I can’t… it’s a fancy restaurant and May and I aren’t…”, he begins but Tony cuts him. “Im stopping you right there, Peter. Im sorry if me picking a fancy restaurant embarrassed you, I should have asked where you wanted to go first. But don’t worry about that, okay ? Im not asking you to pay for anything, I invited you there.”. Peter feels his heart beating hard in his chest. “No, Im really happy to be there, I swear! I just… I just don’t want- I don’t know, forget it.”.

Tony does what Peter asked him, he drops the subject and start talking about Peter’s project in the lab. And that, it allows Peter to relax a bit. Because it suddenly feels like a normal time with Tony. And not a date. Well, a date yes but not an awkward one. And if Peter chokes on his own saliva when Tony orders in fucking italian in front of him, then at least, the man acts like he didn’t see it. And Peter’s happy there’s a table because explaining to Tony why he’s hard right now would have been real awkward.

It becomes a bit more awkward again when the meals arrive. Because Peter gets aroused by how good the food Tony picked for him is. Because Tony looks genuinely satisfied with the fact Peter moans at every bite he takes. And because watching the gorgeous man eating in front of him is also a whole show.

Peter is too occupied staring at Tony to realize he’s missing his mouth with the next bite he takes. The man laughs gently at him and Peter wants to fucking hide under the table because now Tony’ll think he doesn’t know how to eat.

“That’s good huh ? Knew you would like it.”, Tony smiles, after a minute of silence. The smile on Peter’s lips grows automatically. He likes that. He really likes that Tony knew what he’d like. “That’s… the best thing I ever ate mr. Stark!”, Peter answers, beaming with happiness. Even the awkward moments can’t ruin this for him. He’s so happy.

The rest of the evening goes well. So well even. But the more the end approaches, the more Peter can’t help but asks himself if something’s gonna happen or not. Like… Is Tony gonna bring him home ? Is he gonna kiss him ? Even the thought of that is enough to make Peter’s head feel dizzy. He can’t even let himself imagine something more than a kiss would happen. And if he does, he’s gonna combust in front of Tony. And before his mind decides to picture them having sex, Peter shakes his head, his cheeks reddening with both shame and want. He had so many dream about Tony, so many wet dreams about Tony. He has been dreaming about the man since even before they actually meet. And Peter feels like he would cum the second Tony lays a hand on him. That’d be pretty awkward. And then, Peter can’t help but wonder what Tony sees in him. He’s nobody. Tony can have whoever he wants, and still, he chose him. Does Tony know he’s a virgin still ? Would he care ?

“Okay, have you even listened to a word I just told you ?”, Tony asks, a jaded look on his face. Peter realizes the man has been talking to him and blushes in shame. “Im so sorry! I was thinking… I got lost in my thoughts, sorry.”, he apologizes, hoping Tony won’t think he’s boring him.

“Wow, he’s getting invited to the fanciest restaurant ever and still act like it’s not enough. What more do you want Parker ?”, Tony jokes and one part of Peter is happy he didn’t get upset. Another part of him just wanna scream he wants Tony to kiss him once they’re out of the restaurant. But what if Tony wanna take his time ? He doesn’t wanna sound as desperate as he really is.

“I’d really love for a car.”, Peter jokes back, glad he made Tony smile. “Ask and you shall receive.”. And Peter doesn’t know how honest Tony is with this. He hopes the man is joking. But Tony’s intense look in his eyes when Peter said those words is enough to make him realize the man is serious about this. “I was joking, mr. Stark.”, the boy adds, just to be sure he won’t receive a car tomorrow. Tony doesn’t answer anything to that, which is kinda weird, but Peter doesn’t think too much about it.

When the server comes back and asks if they want a dessert, Tony answers for him again. No. This time Tony doesn’t wait for Peter to even asks him, he just orders him something in Italian again.

“I could have asked him for ice cream you know…”, Peter whines, faking a pout. “Oh so he understands Italian now.”. And the smile Tony had on his lips almost all night is making Peter heart feel so light.

“I don’t, but I don’t think I need a italian degree to understand ‘gelato’, old man.”, Peter teases, making himself feels hot all over his body. He sees Tony’s gaze changing a bit too. Is Tony loving this as much as him ? “Brat.”, the man accuses and Peter stops himself to make a punishment joke. They’re not there yet.

The boy is now eating his damn vanilla ice cream and can’t help the blush creeping on his face again. Tony is staring at him. Not watching. Staring. Peter’s senses can feel his intense gaze on him, on his face. And the boy feels like he doesn’t know how to eat anymore. He’s sure he’s putting ice cream everywhere on his lips and wants to die about it.

“Y-You didn’t want to take something ? Huh… dessert or- or coffee ?”, he stutters, to make things less intense, because Peter is seconds away to moan under Tony’s gaze. “Im all good, thanks Pete.”, Tony answers and the boy doesn’t know if he’s dreaming or not but Tony’s voice sounded more… low ? He goes back to eating his ice cream, hoping it’s the last ice cream he’ll ever eat in his life.

When they finally go out, Peter feels drunk. He’s so happy, so nervous and so horny at the same time. He’d say so in love but let’s not brings more awkward to this. They walk in silence to Tony’s car. And just before Tony can open his car, Peter blurts out : “Thank you so much for the dinner mr. Stark! It was really really good and really fun. I liked it… a lot.”, he says, knowing he’s blushing again but doesn’t care at this point. Maybe Tony is waiting for him to make the first move. Because he doesn’t wanna rush him.

“Pleasure was mine, Pete.”, the man answers, a soft smile on his lips. And then, Peter doesn’t even realize what his body his doing, but that should be the good time no ? His heart is pounding so fast and loud in his chest, ears and whole body as he leans and kiss Tony. A smack. Just a smack. Because Peter doesn’t even know how to kiss. It was fast, but enough to make Peter’s heart explodes in his chest.

But then he sees Tony’s face. Tony’s frozen and shocked face. Shit. Did it was too soon ? Did it sucked ? Did Tony expected someone who could actually kiss him ? Peter wants to throw up. ”Mr. Stark ?”, he asks faintly.

“Peter. What… What was that ?”, Tony questions, his tone dangerously flat. “I- I thought… Im so sorry I... You know with the date and all, I thought maybe… maybe it was a good time to kiss you, you know ? Im sorry if Im not a g-”, Peter painfully begins but gets cut by Tony. “Wait- A date ? It wasn’t a date.”, the man says, his voice suddenly high. Peter’s blood turns cold in his whole body.

What ?

“Wh- What ?”, he breathes, voice already trembling. Oh god no. No no no no, this can’t be happening.

“This. That’s- Christ, Peter. It wasn’t a date. I- I didn’t- We’re not- Fuck.”, Tony panics, his voice almost screaming the last bit, stepping back from Peter. Peter who’s still frozen, watching what’s happening in front of him without being able to move.

“Oh god, Im so sorry if I made you think it was a date, kid. Im- It wasn’t my intention.”, Tony tries to apologize, clearly still panicking. The only word echoing in Peter’s brain is kid. Tony hasn’t called him like that for months. And now he’s doing it again.

“Peter, kid. Shit, you can’t cry- I- Peter Im so sorry I shouldn’t-”. And it’s only when Tony says that that Peter realizes tears are rolling down his cheeks. His heart feels heavy in his chest. No. His heart feels completely crushed in his chest. And the humiliation. The boy still stands there, only capable of crying in front of Tony, who’s panicking on his own.

“Kid, you- Im sorry, Im not mad I swear, we can’t- We just can’t. We’re not… that.”. And Peter’s heart feels like breaking again. “D-Don’t call m-me k-kid.”, and it’s the only thing Peter can lets out before fully starting to cry. Small hiccups escaping his lips.

Tony watches in horror, unable to do much. “Peter, im begging you- stop crying, im not mad, you’re- kid I-”, the man starts and if he wasn’t so much in pain, Peter would have been genially shocked to see Tony struggling so much to speak. “Stop ca-calling me a kid!”, the boy almost screams, surprising both himself and Tony. The man steps back again. There’s a silence. A loud one. A painful one.

“Im sorry. It’s my fault if you thought- Jesus, it’s my fault if you mistook this, Peter. Im sorry I let you think this was a… a date. You can’t- it’s not on you, Im not mad.”, Tony speaks again. But it’s only words. Peter’s brain shut himself. He doesn’t understand what Tony is saying to him. He just wants to die.

“But- But I lo-”, he starts, desperately, only to get cut by the man in front of him again. “No. No you don’t. You- Jesus ki- Pete, it’s not-” and there’s a silence again. “It’s not wh-what ? True ? H-How would you know ? And wh-why… what was al-all of this for if-if it was- n’t a.. a da-date ?”, the boy desperately questions, in between cries. Tony’s pained expression intensifies. “Pete, stop crying.”.

“Answer me!”, the younger one screams. He can’t believe Tony. It’s not true. Tony is just being- delusional.

“Christ why are you doing this ? Peter, it was just- just… us.”. Peter never heard Tony’s voice sounding so desperate before today. But he can’t care. He feels like he’s been crushed by a fucking plane right now.

“Us ? Ye-yeah and Im- im saying that us, is me lo-lo-loving you and you- you looking at me with- with that look in your eyes.”. And Peter can sees Tony’s eyes watering. Again, it’d be the first time he sees Tony crying, but he still can’t care. The man just steps back and sighs, passing both of his hands on his face.

“You stopped calling me ki-kid. And- and you order for me- and- and sh-shit! I- I know you like it. I know i-it because I can se-see it, mr. Stark. I- I want- I want you… pl-please.”, Peter cries even harder now, his voice constantly cut by cries. “Please.”, he begs again. And it’s even more painful because Tony doesn’t answers anything. The man just stand in front if him, completely frozen, with a pained expression on his face. But he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t deny it. Why doesn’t he deny it ?

And suddenly, Tony’s warms hands are on his cheeks, trying to wipes the endless tears coming out of Peter’s eyes. But the sensation of the hand on his cheeks only makes Peter cry more. “Peter… Peter, baby.. please. You- fuck. You have to stop, alright ?”, Tony whispers, so close to him, but yet so far. baby.

Peter doesn’t realize he leans on the touch, he doesn’t realize Tony’s other hand is clenching hard on his light blue jacket. And despite everything that is happening right now, Peter only wants them to kiss. A real kiss.

But the next thing he feels is Tony’s strong body against him. The man is hugging him and Peter can’t help but hug him back, his cries still loudly getting out. “Peter, please. I can’t. You know I can’t. Im so sorry. I shouldn’t have invited you, I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have let myself- I can’t.”, Tony murmurs those things in Peter’s ear, tightening his arm around the boy’s body and it only hurts Peter more. Why is Tony saying all of this ? What does it mean ?

“Please…”. It’s all what Peter is capable to say. Please love me. He feels Tony’s body, Tony’s warmth getting away and hates it. And the boy can’t take it. It hurts so much. So before Tony can even answer with another apologize, Peter’s wrists move on their own, and the next second he’s not there anymore, he’s on the top of the building next to the restaurant. He has to get away from Tony. He can’t stay there.

And if Peter hasn’t jumped on another building right away, he would have been able to hear Tony whispering on his own. “Pete… I wished you’d understand why this can’t be a date, why I can’t let you love me back.”, finally letting himself cry now that Peter ran away.

second square for @starkerfestivals 🙈🙈

alright so first of all im so sorry for this fjndldl 😭😭😭 this bingo is challenging me so much tho bc i wrote my first tony fucking peter and now i wrote my first sad ending

its just the first thing that came to my mind seeing ‘not a date’ so i followed my idea

also i edited it three fucking times bc tumblr was being a bitch with me today 🔪

[youwontlikethisblog]

I Don't Believe He Desires Me

Before I continue I want you to know I will be talking a lot more about Betty in this post and there will be a brief mention of r*** in this post.

I keep mentioning how Betty is more than just an insecure girl, that she's more complex than that but I don't really explain it all too well.

I've been lingering with this thought for quit a while now and though this is something that is mentioned in future episodes and I try not to bring such far away episodes into the breakdown of the current episode I feel like it's important to do so in this post.

Betty's first time.

We're still in the same day as Betty with her new look. Aura Maria and Betty are sitting outside talking and Aura Maria is asking her if she desires her boyfriend and Betty explains that their relationship is more than just seggs but an intelectual relationship where they talk about thought provoking subjects and things that stimulate their brains.

Betty has mentioned in the past when she's writing in her diary that she is really attracted to Armando in a physical sense but I noticed a hesitation from her when talking about this with Aura Maria and isn't only because she's not used to talking about this but for another reason because its while Aura Maria tells her that she might be weird if she doesn't even desire him to a small level or that he might be gay that Betty confesses that she is attracted to and that she does desire him. Betty isn't that uncomfortable talking about the subject with Aura Maria so why does she hesitate?

Her first relationship in the romantic aspect was traumatic on it's own however in the physical sense it was more than traumatic.

Betty thought of herself so hideous before Miguel that she thought no man would ever be interested in her until he came along. He really did force Betty to have feelings for him. He courted her, her sought her out and he manipulated her through small gifts and cards with poems and dedications that soon Betty started to develop feelings for him. Once he had her in love he plain out pressure her to have seggs.

Though we are only told the general story of it we can understand why it was painful.

See Betty in love has always been unconditional, she has been sweet, kind, loving, and faithful. She has been unwavering in loyalty. She wasn't any less of that in her relationship with Miguel. The same way she is right now with Armando and his gifts is the same way she was with Miguel. Miguel's attention built her self-esteem, it built her self-worth.

Miguel manipulated Betty's innocence's and her low self-esteem to serve his own agenda without ever feeling anything, not even empathy, towards Betty. He made her feel special, desired, wanted, and attractive to him. He worked so hard to build her self-esteem just to pressure her to sleep with him so he could win a bet.

How does this affect Betty to this day?

I once mentioned that to Betty this translated that she was so heinous that not even her love convinced Miguel to love her.

Diving in deep it translated to something so much worse.

[This is your warning to skip to the next [RED].]

Her first time must've felt like r**e in the after math. I've thought about this for so long that it's the only way I could ever explain it.

For Betty that first experience has left her feeling like no man would ever be attracted to her in a physical sense, that no man would ever be attracted to her because of her personality. That she is so disgusting, so worthless that no man would ever notice her and the one who did was horrified by her body and felt a disdain towards her as he had seggsual relations with her. She was left bare, naked, and destroyed and the entire neighborhood laughed at her expense. They spoke badly of her for what Miguel did to her. She herself said that he "Suggested" that they have relations and though at fist she didn't want to that she decided to because she loved him and she gave all of herself to him that first time.

Her first time is enveloped in guilt, shame, embarrassment, and self-hatred that it causes her to not aspire for more in the relationship she is currently in. To keep herself safe and away from harm she doesn't want to believe that Armando would ever be attracted to her in anyway other than admiration for her intelligence and she doesn't want to feel guilty or like she forced(r**p) him.

[You may proceed below.]

She doesn't aspire for Armando to be attracted to her in that sense. She doesn't aspire for Armando to desire her or want to sleep with her. She's content with the kisses, with the dates where they dance and have intelectual conversations. Though she does desire him, she doesn't aspire for him to feel the same way. In an effort to self preserve her subconscious pushes her to only view Armando as a man who isn't seggsually driven, however Betty is fully aware that he is and she denies this fact for the sake of her heart.

She knows that he is, she says it herself that night at the museum but this time Betty says that she doesn't want to pressure him to do something he doesn't want to(like desire her or have relations with her, again this goes in hand with the idea that she has that she is so hideous no man would ever be attracted to her enough to desire her and that if they ever did have relations with her it would be forced.)

While Betty and Aura Maria are having this conversation in another part of the city Armando and Mario are having the same conversation(huh I just realized both of these side kicks are named Maria, except well Mario is the male version... and they're talking about the same thing, interesting...).

Armando, scared, asks Mario if he really believes that Betty would jump his bones of those days, to which Mario says that Betty is crazy for him so he does.

In the previous post(Betty's New Look) I mentioned how these episodes are to push Armando to accept to some degree Betty's physical appearance and his attraction to her(even if it's based on personality it is still attraction) and that he also had to confront his inner self that he's Betty's boyfriend.

In this scene he not only has accepted this but he also accepts that he has a relationship with her as he tells Calderon that the relationship he has with Betty is based on more intelectual stuff.

Mario then goes on to say than what's the point of having a lover if all he's gonna with her is have cerebral conversations, that the point is to have as much s. relations and for it to be good.

Armando proceeds to say that that's why he has Marcela and that's the only thing that keeps them together.

Back to Aura Maria and Betty:

"Betty remember, nothing about cerebral relationships or intellectual or anything like that. A relationship is maintained by appearances, you keep it with the bed involved, mija, otherwise someone more experience comes along and takes him and you end up like the fool."

"No Aura Maria, truth be told, I think he admires me for who I am, for my knowledge, for my career but I don't think... I don't believe he desires me." she looks at her embarrassed and sadden.

"Ay Betty, be careful, because of that guy doesn't manifest himself seggsually break up with him, mija, break up because there's only two reasons. One he's gay or you don't inspire him at all." Betty looks off, worried and confused her self.

This is why Betty starts acting so...heavy in the next couple of dates because she's testing him to see if he does desire her, if he does want to be with her, if he is attracted to her because she knows! She is fully aware of how seggsual the man is.

Back to Mario and Armando.

Mario has now told him that s. is the best way to compliment a woman because it means you desire her however Armando tells him something.

"I don't desire her, I am not crazy about, especially now with that new look.(can't understand what he says at the end)"

When Mario and him talk about plastic surgery. He does entertain the idea but dismisses it when he says that Marcela wouldn't allow that as well as tell us that Marcela is so controlling that she checks his bank records. Personally, I don't care how many people think that Betty would agree to get that plastic surgery if Armando told her to, she wouldn't. She said it herself in previous episodes that she doesn't believe in plastic surgery and that true love goes beyond what is skin deep. She said so in the first episode and when Bertha was talking about getting lipo. She said that with her self-esteem being non-existing and having no ego and her ego has grown just a tad bit since starting that relationship with Armando.

Even in this same episode when Aura Maria tells her to get plastic surgery Betty tells her that she won't because that's for women who like to get attention, that she is more discreet. One could argue that for love Betty would do anything, but even for love she didn't go all out on her new look because though Betty is unconditional one cannot fight the subconscious nature of our brain and the desire to maintain itself safe so even if Armando did agree to the plastic surgery and told Betty about it she wouldn't go ahead because her issues are far beyond just skin deep and she knows that.

In the next scene Betty is faced with AA's picture on Armando's desk and we hear Betty remembering what Armando said about AA. As she stares at this picture Daniel walks into the office and clears his throat.

"How are you, Sir?" Betty hurried to stand by her office.

"Worried, displeased, surprised. You and I ma'am agreed that as soon as money came into the company that you'd deposite what was mine to my account and in my account there's nothing."

"Yes I understand, Sir. I'm embarrassed with you but we had to pay roster but by first hour tomorrow we'll deposite your money." Betty proceeds to smile. "You've got my word, Sir."

Daniel proceeds to look her up and down and tell her "Is your word as serious as your look." and her proud smile disappears. "'cause that attire, that hairdo, more than an assistant to presidency, you look like an circus assistant." Betty stares at him hurt.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes I know Armando is a clown and that this entire company is just clownery but that doesn't mean that you should be dressed like one. You have to have a little discretion."

Betty here tries to stand up for herself and tells him "Excuse me Sir but you're offending me."

"No the one that's offending here is you." and Armando is seen walking towards his office, through the open double doors we see him stop on his tracks and look at Betty. "What were you thinking? When you got dressed in that clothing? What went through your head when you were doing your hair? Did you think you looked devine?" Armando now looks at the back of the head of Daniel like a bullseye. "No ma'am you look worse, so much worse."

"Sir please, respect me. You're treading on something personal."

"Tsk tsk tsk. I'm butting into the imagine of my company. Do us the favor to come like a normal person. Are you convinced that because you have a boyfriend(Armando for a second unfocused and turned to look at Betty and then focuses again on Daniel and his anger) you can do what you want and finish with peoples retina? Please, pity humanity."

"Daniel Valencia." Armando prepares to yell at him furiously. "Get the hell out of my office! Now."

"Hello Armando." Daniel turns to him.

"Hello nothing! Get out of my office now! and stop disrespecting my assistant."

"The one who is disrespecting everything here is her. She is disrespecting aesthetics, the company, the retina. Someone with such an important title. Someone who practically manages the company under the incapability of her president. Someone who has under her command a company that designs style, fad, and color can't be dressed like that."

"What? Did you not understand me Daniel Valencia? Get out! Now!" Armando grabs him by the caller of his blazer and they spin(honestly this reminds me of valet lmbo).

"Sir, please."

"Out!"

"Be very careful. I am not one of your clowns. Don't you ever place your hands over me again."

"Oh no?"

"Much less push me."

"You didn't like that Danielito? You didn't like that?" He moves to grab him again but Betty goes to hold him back. "What then? What then!" He yells.

"Sir, please." Betty pleas.

"Get out!"

"I understand that you defend the economist but her bad taste?"

This retaliates in him understand that Armando in the past defended Betty's job in Eco Moda and that he was aware that she is smart but for him to defend her on something so personal, he doesn't.(You're blind, Danny boy).

"No then, Tarzan and cheetah(someone explain this to me... why cheetah? Tarzan killed it.)."

Now lets bring the previous post and this one to a concluding halt with the following break down.

After watching this exact scene so many times I feel confident in my understanding of what we are being shown and told here.

In this exact day, when Betty wasn't around, Armando showed to be upset and furious at Marcela, Patty, and Hugo for their jokes about Betty's new look and the jokes they were making about her boyfriend. Since Betty wasn't around we can conclude that it wasn't projecting or him faking it because he didn't have to prove anything to her right there since she wasn't even there.

Now in this scene Betty's eyes are always on Daniel, never drifting or shifting between Daniel and Armando but focused solely on Daniel and what he is saying. You can tell she's upset, hurt, feeling humiliated but even then she respectfully tries to stand up for herself. Since Betty hasn't taken notice of Armando in the background and Armando isn't even paying attention to Betty but solely focused on Daniel we can asume he isn't doing this for show but in fact feels furious at Daniel exclusively for the way he is talking to Betty.

For a moment though he does look away from Daniel and that's when he mentions that Betty has a boyfriend like all of a sudden he's been hit with the ole "Betty has a boyfriend?" and then realization comes "Right. I'm her boyfriend." and he returns to focus on Daniel. Why is that the thought I decided was in Armando's mind at the time? Because he blinks repeatedly and looks confused for a second before no longer being confused. It's either that or he wondered if Betty told him about the boyfriend or how he found out but decides not to care and only focus on his anger.

Armando up to this point has always been very composed towards Daniel, never shy to to show his dislike and even hatred towards him, however he's never been close to throwing hands. Even when he yelled at him to mind his business(RagTela telling betty they'd give her a commission of 10% if she got them the business deal with Eco Moda and Danny Boy went and snitched on her.) he did so because he was mad that he wouldn't let him do anything in the company without spying on him and he wanted to be left alone but he didn't even make a move to throw hands, he just yelled. This time, just like that night before, Armando is ready to throw hands.

Why does he do this with everyone else except Mario? With Mario, though he says that he doesn't like Betty's new look, that he doesn't have the imagination to sleep with her, and that she's ugly, he doesn't really talk make fun of her. He complains(this doesn't make it okay) but he doesn't say the really cruel things that Mario does and he says really bad things about Betty, like naming a list of all her physical flaws and not once does Armando stop him. He doesn't even tell him to shut up or look angry like in the past. This time he looks concerned, worried, and pained.

While yes he does hate that people devalue and disrespect Betty he doesn't have the balls to actually defend her to Mario and that plays such a huge role. It also shows that Armando is still very much in denial and ignorance towards his attraction to Betty.

Betty is visibly hurt here. She tries not to frown while Daniel says all these awful things to her and even then tries to be respectful while she defends herself. She don't need no man.

When Daniel leaves Armando takes notice of Betty's arms around him, holding him back and though he looks panicked for a second he rolls his eyes and turns to comfort her(see he's forced to place Betty's needs before his own).

"Easy Betty. I just don't like it when people mess with you, for them to bother your or make fun of you." He gently passes the back of his hand against Betty's face in an affectionate way(which he's been doing a lot more as their dates progress 😏).

"Don't worry, Sir, because he's right." Betty turns around and walks to her office while Armando disagrees. When Betty shuts the door to her office Armando stays in his and turns to look at the opposite direction, sits on his desk, and looks thoughtful.

Like I mentioned in the last post; Armando is being forced to accept Betty's appearance and not only because of what Mario told him but because he has witnesses everyone making fun of her while he is now having stronger feelings towards Betty.

This is such an important thing for him to achieve, not only because of his feelings but because this literally is what moves him to be more accepting of said feelings because you really do start to see Armando become more attentive to Betty. He becomes more affectionate, little by little like touching her face a lot more frequent(if I were Betty I'd tell him to keep his hands off my face because acne, like hello?) wanting to kiss her and not pulling away right away.

At the ending this all comes full circle. These episodes are critical to what happens on the B-Day episodes and Armando's reaction for not knowing it was her B-Day.

BONUS:

When Armando enters her office and tells her to not listen to Daniel Betty tells him that it wouldn't hurt her if was all just speculation but she thinks he's right about her new look. Armando lies and tells her her new look is great and she looks devine.

"Really Sir?" Betty looks at him, "Because It for you, only for you. So you could see me differently." She says timidly and laughs softly. Armando's entire expression softens and a smile creeps on his face while he stares at Betty.

He's happy to know that Betty would do something only to make him happy, which again, shows that Betty is the first person to ever truly love Armando while the same thing could be said that Armando is the first person to truly ever love Betty.

Though Armando is lying straight outta his...teeth this is different under context because he's not lying to keep Betty in an affair that means he gets to prove he's better than Nicolas and that Nicolas won't take away his company which is a disguise for his fear that he'll take Betty(though he is worried about Eco Moda too except it's not really his main priority). This time Armando is lying to her to not destroy her self-esteem. In his mind what he is doing is telling her a white lie while also convincing her to go back to her old look. Yes he's lying here but at least it isn't all based on selfish things.

Imma be real with ya, it really concerns me how they NEVER shut the doors in his office whenever they're having "romantic" moments in the office, like yeah son no one is going to walk in there and overhear y'all talking about love and ish.

Anyway again, I need sleep.

'Til next time :)

[roublardise]

ok so hear me out. it's about dean co & sam being oversupportive. and also comphet.

it's very drafty bc it's a shitpost check out my ao3 for better writing <3

--------

Dean hasn’t felt closeted in a very long time. He never truly was, he just avoided talking about it and confronting Sam to the fact he was fucking men. Which was common decency. Switching the stories so they were about women was a move he started doing when Sam assumed Dean was talking about a woman. He just didn’t correct him - not wanting to go into That and let alone with Sam.

He had figured Sam didn’t know for quite some time and he wondered, sometimes, how his brother would react. He’d love for him to shrug it off and say “okay. I think the vampires are in this cabin.” Though it would feel anticlimactic, and maybe wrong? Isn’t coming out supposed to be this whole thing…. It was this whole thing about his gender, with a lot of people, and now he was so tired.

So tired he ended up thinking that, hell, Sam was a smart boy, he could connect the dots. So then Dean just stopped trying to conceal it, and after Benny and Crowley - what was there to add?

A lot, apparently.

.

Dean is only two sips into his coffee when Sam barges in the kitchen, socked feet sliding on the floor and almost making him trip. He does slow down once he crosses the doorway and tries to keep a composure - he takes a few breaths, probably tells himself to be cool.

“With such a rush, you better tell me you’re engaged.”

Sam looks down, then left and right. “Where’s Cas?”

Okay - it’s getting weird. Dean drinks some more and lays back in his chair, giving all the little attention he has to Sam. “Playing harp. What’s with you?”

“Do you…” Sam stops with a sigh. He slightly leans on his side when he starts next. “Eileen is saying…”.

“She better be pregnant.”

Sam rolls his eyes and walks up to the table. He sits in front of Dean and joins his hands in front of him. Dean is starting to think someone died. But then Sam, finally, explains in a rush:

“You and Cas are together like dating-together?”

Dean doesn’t reply right away, simply because… what? “Yeh.”

“Oh.”

Sam looks down again - anywhere but Dean. Might as well go all the way into awkward territory.

“Dude it’s been like, months.” More than that, truly.

“So you…” Sam doesn’t finish this sentence either, but Dean can get the idea.

He shrugs. “Yeh.”

And he expects some speech about acceptance or maybe more questions of why Dean never said anything. And he doesn’t want to have to say he did say stuff, but Sam is apparently unable to perceive it. Does he know Eileen is bi? It’s too early, his coffee is cold, and Dean regrets ever leaving his bed - Cas was right, there was no point.

However Sam only clears his throat, says “okay,” and leaves.

Younger Dean was wrong - it’s not anticlimactic, this short reply is all he ever needed.

.

So it’s not a big deal and Dean never thought it even was something Sam didn’t know - so nothing changes. And Dean doesn’t think much about it.

Except he can’t catch a break, can he?

.

He had time to finish his coffee this time, and he’s just reading in the library when Sam calmly walks to stand in front of him.

“Let me finish my chapter,” Dean says without looking up.

“It’s.. quite important.”

Dean finishes the sentence he was in and drops a finger under the line before staring at Sam. “What?” Sam only puts a gift - wrapped with a ribbon and all - onto his book. Dean frowns. “What’s that? It’s not my birthday.”

“Can’t I give you something just because?”

“You can, but it’s weird.”

“Just open it.”

Dean puts on a show of looking annoyed as he puts the wrapping away, but his façade gives up to a genuine confusion as he notices some fabric, purple and blue standing out until Dean unfolds it to reveal magenta. Oh god no.

He must look confused more than mortified, because Sam tries to explain his train of thought. “It’s hm- the bi flag. Bisexual flag.”

Dean can’t figure what to say. He closes his book and runs a hand on his face. This may be his most uncomfortable coming out.

“Dude-”

“You don’t have to say anything, I know you don’t like the whole.. talking. I just wanted to show that… you can be proud, you know? You don’t have to hide who you love. It’s good with me, and I’m sure it’s good with anyone, and if it’s about dad-”

“Sammy shut up for two seconds.”

Dean gestures for his brother to sit on another sofa in front of him, and he waits for Sam to be settled and perfectly silent before leaning forward. It’s worse than telling Jack about sex.

“I’m not bi”, he states.

“You know, it’s a process, right? Maybe you’re not there yet, I shouldn’t have pushed-”

“I’m gay,” he continues, ignoring Sam.

“Oh sure, it’s fine if you’d rather use this umbrella term.”

Dean is one minute away from praying to Cas to erase this conversation from his memory.

“Are you messing with me or something here? I like dudes.”

“Yeh, I got that-”

“I don’t like women.”

“Oh.”

“Yeh, oh.”

Sam isn’t meeting his eyes, instead staring at the fabric that Dean doesn't know what to do of. Sam’s probably gonna sit with his shame for a few days. It’s not worth making a big deal out of that, but Dean can’t bring himself to say it’s nothing either. It’s still something. The mistake is understandable, in a way. To Sam, Dean had way more stories with women that he actually did. And with Cassie and Lisa, well, Sam never had to know how Dean felt exactly about them. For a brief moment guilt twists into Dean’s guts - that maybe he should have talked about it with Sam… Maybe that’s how this works. But why? It’s not his business.

Dean sighs loudly and opens his book again. “We done here?” He doesn’t mean to dismiss him while looking pissed, but he is genuinely annoyed.

Sam mumbles "yeh, sorry" as he stands up, walking quickly out of the room.

“And, hey, Sammy?” He waits for Sam to meet his gaze. He throws the package back to Sam who catches it but clearly isn't sure what Dean wants him to make of it. Keeping it makes no sense, but throwing it away is too bad. So... "Give that to Eileen."

[fonulyn]

So my partner is amazing and let's me ramble about RE to them whenever I want to, and even sat down to watch Vendetta with me when I bought it, so the other day I was like explaining Leon and Chris' characters (bc my partner knows how much I love them both lmao so of course that's what I was talking about), and we have both come to the conclusion that Leon is a bisexual disaster, and Chris is a homosexual. The running joke is that Leon is also just generally a whore, out there living his best life, and Chris is the kind of gay guy who no one expects to be gay bc of stereotypes and his habit of never really talking about himself, but he also was never really in the closet about it, so he's surprised whenever people are surprised to learn that he's gay lolol but in all seriousness Leon is not only bisexual, but he's the type to fall in love easily despite all of his background and trauma related to betrayal, so his heart is almost continually broken, either bc he's betrayed or he loses whoever it is he's found himself in love with (and sometimes both i.e. Krauser, and Ada at the end of RE2), either through death or just leaving bc he knows he can't stay/can't be with whomever. As for Chris, maybe I'm reading into it wrong, but despite all of the like, romantic connotations they try to put into some of his games (which I don't. Really see? Like there was some in the first game with Jill but I just cannot see them together like that, neither seem interested in one another like that. And of course, Jessica, who I can't stand, and who Chris is supposedly totally oblivious to? Like she thinks he didn't notice her flirting in RE revelations, and Parker is like "is it that, or is he maybe interested in someone else?" And the assumption there is that he means Jill, but again, I don't see it? Even in that game! But that line of Parker's always makes me think "yeah, he's more than just interested in someone else, he's playing for a whole nother team entirely!" lmao. And I haven't seen much for 5 but I'm sure it's there between Chris and Sheva, and then for 6 from what I understand there really is hardly any talk of Chris in regards to any women at all? 8 has nothing, as well, and the DLC for 7 is just another "Chris loses his entire team in horrific fashion yet again" side plot, so nothing there either), he never seems interested. He's always focused on the task at hand, not letting emotions get in his way, and like, some could argue that that's why he doesn't show interest or why Capcom doesn't create more romantic lore around him, but if they really wanted to Make Sure he was straight and Make Sure everyone playing these games knew that, I imagine there would be some one line little hints in the games of him talking about how he can't let himself get distracted, or in his line of work there are no happy endings or what have you, but. There's none of that. Bc he isn't forcing himself not to be interested, he isn't purposefully focusing on saving the day so he doesn't have to get hurt knowing he can never have whichever high potential for a dope ass protag female character who's constantly sacrificing herself to save him bc what better purpose could they serve, right Capcom?, he's just. There, doing his job and trying to save whoever he can, not getting distracted in anyway whatsoever by any of the women in his life, romantically at least. He still cares way too much, but it never comes off as romantic to me in pretty much any way. Also the note he leaves in his STARS locker in RE2remake, Claire being like "this doesn't sound like Chris at all!" Is funny to me bc like, I don't really remember so correct me if I'm wrong, but she doesn't elaborate on WHY that note doesn't sound like Chris lmao is it bc he's respectful to women at all times and doesn't ever objectify them, probably hates when other people do? Or is it bc he would never be interested in women in this way ANYWAYS, the man is so gay, he must have left this note so that Claire would know something is Up, bc her brother is Such a homosexual.

Anyways sorry, I just wanted to ramble/get your opinion on this. Over-analysing RE is actually really fun lmao

haha not gonna lie, I opened your ask in the car on the grocery store parking lot and tried to read it on my phone, and gave up squinting at the small screen halfway through :'D now that I'm back at my laptop though, lol, all good :'D

first of all I'm happy you have someone to ramble to even though they aren't into the thing themselves! :D I regularly rant about RE fandom things to my brother haha and he listens patiently although he isn't in the fandom at all, he's only played the games and that's it. but he still listens to my shippy rambles lol.

as for your thoughts? makes sense to me tbh. I definitely headcanon Leon as a bisexual disaster most of the time, because it does seem fitting. maybe it's partly because I think he's absolutely breathtakingly stunning and it'd be a shame to deny anyone that, so, naturally he wouldn't care about such trivial things as gender, pfth, love is love.

also Leon falling in love easily? absolutely. too damn easily. c'mon this is a man who gets attached to anyone who shows him even the tiniest amount of basic kindness in the matter of minutes. he canonically forms attachments with Claire, Ada, Krauser, Helena, Buddy and JD (JD 😭)... whoever else am I forgetting? but this is the guy who meets someone and would die for them five seconds later. so. it tracks.

and you know what, I can 100% see Chris being only into men. because like. I don't see the romance there either when he's interacting with the women in his life? okay, sure, I could imagine something there between him and Jill if pressed seeing the way he so single-mindedly wants to save her and then holds her in the scene after they get that thing off her chest. maybe. but even there it doesn't really feel super romantic to me, personally.

in the first game with Jill there's not... a lot of romance I don't think? sure she falls asleep against his shoulder in the evac helicopter but i mean, i've fallen asleep against a friend like that? not an indication of romance? they're clearly important to each other! i am not trying to diminish their importance to one another at all! they'd die for each other and they'd do anything it takes to protect each other and i do think their relationship is compelling but... i don't really see anything inherently romantic in it.

and Jessica, yeah, Chris is 100% oblivious to her advances. it is implied in the game that he's into Jill instead but other than that there's again zero actual romantic interaction between Chris and Jill. I was actually talking about this with my brother, who said the same, like there were so many chances in Revelations to put something romantic in there between Chris and Jill but there just. isn't? anything? except for Parker's comment. which is why it felt so damn out of place? (and like my brother would've wanted to ship Chris and Jill, he was kinda bummed about this i feel :'D) so interpreting it to mean he's not interested in women at all would actually make more sense lmao.

as for RE5, I've played it twice (with my brother lmao do we see a theme here) and honestly I don't remember anything in the game that would've insinuated anything more than solid partnership between Chris and Sheva?? if someone who's more familiar with the game wants to correct me on this, then please! but at least off the bat I can not remember anything so I think they actually didn't try to even hint at romance for them?

and in RE6 Chris is way too focused on killing "Ada" to have any thoughts about anything else :'D so no. no mentions in there regarding him and any women. at all. not even hints of Jill which is so incredibly weird (and stupid tbh) bc she was made to be so important to him in RE5 and then doesn't even get a mention in RE6? (/shakes fist damn you capcom! the characters exist outside the games they're in!)

I think that's pretty much the main difference between Chris and Leon tbh. Chris sees the job at hand, and he knows it'll help, he knows it'll save people and it'll make the world safer and he's so single-mindedly focused on the job that he sees nothing else. while Leon sees people, for the better or for worse, and he is willing to take detours if it helps even one person in the meantime. like in RE6, Leon willingly ignores the task at hand to go help just about anyone. Chris doesn't want to pause even when pressed bc he has an end goal in mind.

and bear in mind, I am not trying to say this somehow makes Leon better or Chris better or anything. they're both doing this to help. they both have their heart in the right place. they both care. but they're just so different! their personalities, and their way of dealing with things is different! I feel Chris is really target oriented and wants to get the job done. while Leon's easily distracted from it, because of all the damn feelings :'D

but yeah. i love them both, and i think it's really damn fascinating how they're both the good guys, the heroes of the franchise, but they both take to things so differently.

i don't know if any of this makes sense, I think i rambled too :'D but hey-o, it was fun lmao.

and hey no need to apologize at all!! always feel free to shoot me a message if you wanna chat!

[boognish-worshipper]

Moonlight

the second part/continuation of Sunrise, Sunset!

this boutta get interesting……. it gets kinda messy but don’t worry, it isn’t over yet 🙏🙏🙏 also trevor can’t spell over text to save his life

//

Lamar didn’t sleep that night. He couldn’t. He just kept thinking the whole situation over, trying his hardest to connect the dots. Make some sense of it, or at least find some logical way to deny the truth. Had it always been Franklin? It’s not like Lamar ever had a long term girlfriend, or even a chick he was hung up on like his… friend. How long had he been completely naïve? He felt stupid for not noticing sooner. He didn’t even have anyone to confide in. He obviously couldn’t confide in Frank right now. Shit. How would he face him? Lamar screwed his eyes shut tight. What the fuck was he gonna do? He tried thinking about who to turn to. Michael was obviously a no-go, what with the dynamic those two had. Then he thought about Trevor. Maybe he’d help. Maybe. It wouldn’t hurt to just ask, right?

hey

crazy guy

wut leroy. u need smthn?

uh, yeah

sort of

wut iz it?

some complicated bs again. nothin new.

cant u go 2 frank 4 whtevr prblm ur having

not exactly

can i meet u somewhere private?

wut 4

u tryna fuk me leroy?

loco. no.

jus. meet me @ vanilla unicorn asap

Lamar sighed heavily, starting to wonder if this was gonna be a bad idea to try and talk to him about this. But Trevor was kinda fruity anyway, so at least he wouldn’t judge. His phone buzzed again.

alrdy hear bro

Lamar raced over to the strip club, going through the back entrance. Trevor was sitting on his desk, already waiting for Lamar’s arrival.

“LD! What brings you to my fine establishment at this time?” He stood up, but remained leaning against the desk behind him.

“Listen man, it’s.. it’s serious.”

Trevor’s faced lifted, looking surprised. Or.. whatever concerned looked like by his terms.

“How serious we talkin’ bro?”

“Ion know, just some stupid shit I’ve been tryna wrap my head around.”

“Uhh, elaborate on that?”

“It’s gotta do with Fr-…eaky shit going on with me.”

Trevor squinted at him, like he was trying to read Lamar’s mind.

“Like..?”

“Something to do with love, I think?”

“Oh. Well. Why’d you come to me for help?”

“Because I..” He said, the words deflating in his mouth.

“I think you’re the only person who could understand where I’m coming from?”

“…I’m not reading ya. Just say it, Lamar. Jeez.”

“I think I’m in love with someone.”

A long pause filled the air with tension.

“That it?”

“Well, not exactly.”

“Jesus bro, what is the matter with you right now? You look like you’re gonna faint.”

“It’s, it’s someone we know, alright? There.”

Trevor squinted his eyes again, but not for long. His eyebrows flew to his hairline, and he stood upright from the desk he was perched on.

“Wait a minute…”

Lamar looked down at the ground, embarrassment swirling around in his stomach. He felt like some child that had been yelled at for stealing some candy. He didn’t like it. He was a grown fuckin’ man for crying out loud.

“You don’t mean..”

He stood there, saying nothing and grabbing his arm protectively. The silence was back, lingering for too long.

“I fuckin’ knew it.” Trevor said, almost inaudible.

“Wh.. what?” Lamar spluttered out, looking up.

“I fucking knew it!”

Somehow hearing those words comforted and pissed off Lamar. Obviously Trevor wasn’t planning on judging him for it, but how did he know before him?

“What the fuck you mean you knew?!”

“Oh please, Lamar. You aren’t a very subtle person.”

“I am too!”

“No. You’re not. You’re really not.”

“Tell me. How, how am I not subtle as a motherfucker?”

“Hmm… I can think of a few instances to count, but honestly a perfect example was that conversation we had dropping those cars off for he-who-shall-not-be-named.”

Lamar cocked his head sideways, confused. Trevor shook his head before starting his sentence back up.

“Remember when you ah… inquired about Michael and I? Our past?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“You compared us to some.. I don’t know, divorced couple or something. Figuring it was romantic?” He averted his gaze, turning pink.

“Well, I mean after the whole rundown of our partnership, I asked you about how you and our boy Frankie met.”

“Mhm..”

“And you gave me some weird, uncomfortable story about you having a threesome with him- Which he apparently wasn’t even apart of to begin with. Didn’t know why he even appeared in that memory, but I guess it sort of makes sense now. It was also the fact you.. uh, deciphered my relationship, and tried to compare it to you and Frank. That’s how I started to catch on.”

“Shit.”

“I mean I… I was in the same boat as you, kid. You were right, y’know.”

“I was?”

“Michael and I… were never perfect. But back then I was,” His voice lowered.

“…Am.” He corrected, voice barely above a whisper. Coughing, he continued.

“In love with him. Or something.”

“Shit, for real?”

“For reals homie. I know what you’re going through. Only difference is Mikey uh.. was a little more repressed than I was. But you didn’t hear it from me.”

Lamar stood in shock, eventually flopping down on the couch.

“What the fuck am I gon’ do, Trevor?”

“Well, I know I’m friends with him but I’m not exactly as close to him as you or Mike. So I can’t exactly say whether or not he’s like Michael in that regard, you know?”

“Fuck, man…”

“Hey.. I uh, I’m sorry if I wasn’t much help. I never really knew how to deal with those feelings towards Mike. It’s like, even harder to manage when you have a bond like that.”

“No, no. I needed this I think.”

“Go home, Lamar. Try to get some rest or something.”

As he got up, he placed a hand on Trevor’s shoulder.

“Thanks.”

For the first time since they met, Trevor gave him a genuine smile. He patted his hand and scooted him out the door. Driving back, he still felt sort of restless. Even if he did sleep, it wasn’t gonna be enough. When he got back home and in his bed, he pulled out his phone.

So you’re back.

yup

i thought about what you said

Wait - really?

yeah. i’m a fuckin idiot

Doesn’t take a psychic to know that.

hey

that’s uncalled for lady

What is it you need? It’s very late you know - is what I said keeping you up?

bingo bitch

and uh yeah, i need to know what the fuck u said to franklin

what does he know?

All I told him was that I saw you at his house - very frequently I might add.

I might’ve mentioned you were there in his old room all the time, in his bed with someone he knew - an older woman, perhaps? He didn’t take it too well.

wait a minute

his auntie? i mean she bad and all but

i never.. like did anything with her. not like that

He thought differently. The implications might’ve been misread - why would you choose his childhood bed for something like that? Shame on you

and i might’ve picked the wrong fuckin person to speak to

lady, what the fuck? i never fucked his auntie!

i wouldn’t do that to him, even if she got a dumptruck ass

You are a strange man Lamar. All I saw was you two in his bed, very, very often.

I wouldn’t have known you felt anything for him had you not contacted me - and even now you still made a pass at her!

all we did was talk! n there’s nothing wrong wit admiring ass.

Whatever you say - oh wait…

I’m seeing something

goddammit

it better be good

I’m seeing you two again - and you’re right. You’re talking… about Franklin?

why else would we be in his room. if i was gon fuck his auntie we would’ve done it in hers or sumn

or in the livin room maybe.

I’m seeing something else now - he’s taken the place of his aunt. Oh. Wow…

what? what is it?

what do u see?

I… completely misinterpreted Franklin’s reading. It seems like it was supposed to be him in her place.

I’m not sure how he read it exactly - my best guess was that it wasn’t the latter.

And seeing as he no longer lived there, the vision got mixed up some how for both of us. You did have some connection to her though - don’t lie. That was most likely the problem.

i mean yeah. i hit on her a couple times

maybe thought it about it once or twice

More than that.

whatever. still, i ain’t do shit to her, ion stoop that low lady

Then I apologize. But I cannot fix this problem for you - you’re going to have to talk things out

Because right now, he’s assuming you’re acting weird because you actually *did* something with his aunt.

Fuck me man

this sucks

ur evil lady, u know that?

Hey, I’m not the one hanging out with his aunt. Now go to bed. I’ll deal with you another time.

hey wait

come back

SERVICE UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

“God fuckin’ damn it not again!”

He chucked his phone against the wall, and began yelling into his pillow. He wasn’t gonna sleep right at all until he fixed this mess. Fucking psychic lady.

The next morning when Lamar passed by his mirror he audibly gasped. He looked like shit. He looked like he was definitely hiding something. And he knew he couldn’t see Frank today. His phone buzzed and as soon as he glanced down he felt the urge to throw it across the room. Speak of the fuckin’ devil. Franklin was fucking calling him. Taking a deep breath, he hit answer.

“Yo.”

“Hey L. How you feelin’?”

“Better. Thanks.”

“Yeah man. You know what was up wit’ you or…”

“I.. I think it was some sort of stomach bug man. Doin’ alright now tho.”

“Glad to hear.”

“So are you callin’ me for something or-“

“Actually yeah. I wanted to talk to you.”

“N-now?”

“Later. Sunset? That cool wit’ you?”

“Uh yeah, yeah. Heard it’s a full moon.”

“Dope. Been meaning to talk about this for a while anyway, and you always dragging me around to go see the sunrise.”

“Makes sense.” More sense than the shit he was in the middle of.

“See you then?”

“Of course dog.”

Click. Lamar dropped his shoulders, which had grown tense during the duration of the call. He didn’t have a whole lot of time to understand what he was dealing with better. He thought to himself that he couldn’t possibly be gay, because he loved himself some hoes now and then. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel the same around Franklin. Women and men… was that possible? Could you be into men AND women? He looked it up on his phone, and found a definition that fit him. Bisexual? That’s a thing? He thought it was just, gay and straight. That you couldn’t be both. But… at least that was accounted for. Putting his phone away, he moved on to the next part of the puzzle. What was he going to do when night time came? He couldn’t straight up tell Franklin. That would ruin everything. But how would he explain that he didn’t fuck his Aunt? He had to have a reason to back it up. Either way, he was screwed.

Night came too quick. Lamar kept pacing his room, not taking his eyes off his phone that rested on his bed. Any minute Frank would call him. Any fucking minute now. He still didn’t have a plan. What was he going to do? The phone lit up, buzzing loudly. Oh no. He practically dove to answer it, feigning a nonchalant tone. It wasn’t very impressive.

“Heyyy Frank. I was waiting for word from you.”

“Hey. I’m on my way, be ready.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat.

“See you in 5 L.”

Even after Frank hung up, he didn’t lower the phone from his ear. Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, ohshit. He was panicking now, phone dropping to the floor. Not noticing how long he was standing there, he heard a car pull up, then honk. Oh, shit. He raced out the door clumsily, trying to shove his phone in his pocket. Opening the car door, he was hit with the now overwhelming scent of Franklin. Something along the lines of weed and the same cologne he’d be buying for years. He remembered how Tanisha had gotten it for him back when they first started dating as a gift. The detail only made him more nauseous.

“Hey LD.”

“Hey.”

“Get in homie, I got a good spot for us, real sick view n shit.”

“Ah.. aight.”

The car ride wasn’t entirely awful for Lamar, listening to Collard Greens play loudly through the speakers. Franklin had taken them to some secluded spot near Vespucci beach, where no one would bother them. As they got out of the car, Lamar got a clear view of the sunset. It was even better than a sunrise. They found a bench to sit on, and Lamar felt like there wasn’t enough space between them. Did it magically fucking shrink as soon as they sat down? Shit. He cleared his throat, trying to seem neutral and not like he was internally freaking the fuck out.

“So uh… what’d you need to talk to me about?”

Franklin sighed, and Lamar’s stomach was in knots.

“It’s.. just somethin’ I been thinkin’ about for a while. I really jus’ didn’t know how to bring it up or whatever. But let’s jus’ enjoy the sunset right now.”

In contrast to how every sunrise went, the sunset contained shades of pinks and purples. There were also mixed shades of green, from the combination of yellow and blue clashing together. It was a miraculous sight. Frank was right, why didn’t they see sunsets more often? He watched the light sink down past the water, replaced by moonlight not much later. The two sat in silence, as stars filled the sky. The view had grown darker, but he could see the moonbeam reflect in the calm waves. He turned to Franklin, who had a serene expression on his face. He was blue in the moonlight, and it made Lamar feel all kinds of things he never felt for anyone before. Franklin side-eyed him, sitting upright. Here goes nothing.

“Lamar… I just. I gotta ask. I uh.. heard from someone,” Fucking psychic lady.

“That you uh.. and my.. Denise. My Aunt. Were uh.. you were at my house or something with her?”

Lamar eyes were wide. Franklin looked anywhere but him, clearly uncomfortable bringing the topic up. He kept tripping over his words, not knowing how to ask.

“Are.. and I won’t be mad if you are, but are you… and my Aunt.. Are y’all foolin’ around?” He scrunched his face up getting the words out. He almost looked hurt, like he was betrayed at the thought of it all.

“What?”

“Are you fuckin’ my Auntie or what man?!” He forced out.

“Franklin. What.”

He knew the psychic lady had said he got the wrong idea, but hearing it out loud from him was just mind boggling.

“Jesus Christ Franklin, no. I’m not! Why would you even think that?!”

Now he felt hurt. Did he really think Lamar would do something like that?

“You say shit about her all the fuckin’ time! I don’t even know why, because she’s fuckin’ nuts man! I have heard a million and one remarks about her from yo bitchass self!”

“Yeah but I would never-“

“And in my fuckin’ bed man?! Are you for real?!”

“I’m not fucking her! I never was!”

“That’s not what I fuckin’ heard dog! And don’t think I haven’t noticed how weird you’ve been actin’, all guilty n shit. I knew you were hidin’ shit from me, I jus’ didn’t think it’d be my absolute worst fuckin’ nightmare!”

“Franklin! For fucks sake bro that’s not why I’ve been actin’ so weird!”

“Then tell me, exactly, what the hell your problem is!”

Lamar’s mouth hung open, looking for what the fuck to say.

“Homie. It’s not like that. I’m seriously, seriously not fucking her. I’m… just-”

“What, Lamar?!”

“I think I’m in love.”

Shock covered Franklin’s face. Complete, utter shock. His face then twisted into a furious expression.

“Are you fuckin’ for real right now? You’re not fuckin’ my Aunt, you’re in love with her?! Fuck you man!”

“Wait, no that’s not what was I was implying-“

Franklin shot up from his seat, throwing his hands up.

“You’ve officially lost yo mind dog. You two enjoy each other. I’m fuckin’ out of here bro.”

“Franklin, wait-“

“No, no. I.. I need to go. I need to clear my mind or whatever the fuck, because I am just… unbelievably pissed right now.”

“But I’m not-“

“Save it, LD. I’ll… catch you later. Or something. Bye.”

Franklin walked back to his car, abandoning Lamar. Some how, this was worse than confessing to him. He felt sick to his stomach. How the hell was he gonna fix this mess? He remained seated, watching the water lap at the shore. He needed to fix this. And he knew, although he wish he didn’t have to, that’d he’d have to come clean. He didn’t want to ruin his friendship, and some how still did by just not blurting it out. Soon. Soon, after Franklin was ready to talk to him again. He prayed to a higher being, hoping desperately it’d all work out.

//end of pt 2!!!!! i’m sorry this is kinda angsty or whatever :( but i am gonna write a happy ending for this!! lamar deserves the world i love his character sm *sobs* (also sorry this part’s longer than the last one LMAO)

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Weak sauce, give us SEXY lesbabes, coward

You want sexy lesbians??? Aight let's fucking go.

"Thanks so much for this, Urbosa."

"Of course Impa. The boy has been taking his fair share of vacations, it's about time you have a turn."

Impa was finally able to take a small break from everything, and what better place to relax, than a place full of pretty women? Not to mention the hot sun, and plenty of cold drinks. She took a sip of her noble pursuit, relishing in just how refreshing it was.

"I just, don't like taking too much time away from the princess. But she said I was too stressed out, so she sent me out here. Not that I WOULDN'T want to spend time with you, lady Urbosa."

"No need for formalities, Impa. You’re a guest here. One so close to Zelda, yet one I realized I don’t know very well. I know only the things everyone else knows.”

Impa watched her as she plucked a wild berry from one of the plates. She was very generous with the food she provided, and they both seemed unable to control their appetites.

“That everyone else knows? Like what?”

“That you’re young, that you function well with a kodachi, and of course the obvious one.”

“Obvious one?”

“That you like Zelda. A little more than most.”

Impa opened her mouth to protest, but her raised brow let her know that it was pointless. She sighed, hiding her blushing face in her hand.

“Okay, yeah. I do like her. A lot. Am I THAT obvious?”

“To everyone but Daruk. Told him last night, he didn’t believe me at first. He was also the last one to know about Mipha’s feelings for Link.”

“Seriously?”

“I know, that’s what I thought. Regardless, you have no reason to be ashamed. Zelda is a lovely young lady, and knights falling for the princess is a tale as old as time. If anything, I saw it coming a mile away.”

Impa wanted to just leave. She would have honestly, had Urbosa not wrapped an arm around her in clear comfort. Impa looked up at her smiling face, and Impa understood that Zelda trusted her so much. So kind, so understanding. Impa sighed.

“So it’s not...BAD that I like her as much as I do?”

“Not at all, little one. I think your only problem is you, if I can be frank with you.”

Impa folded her arms across her chest in thought, before she pulled one hand away, using it to wag her finger at some imaginary being in front of her.

“I just don’t see how she can like ME like that! I understand why she’d like Link, but I’m not HIM! I’m me! Link would know what to do here, I don’t.”

Urbosa chuckled, lightly patting the top of her head.

“You just struggle with your feelings. You’re so nervous around girls, I can tell.”

“Not ALL girls! Just...the really pretty ones.”

Impa found herself shrinking into her side as one of the many servants came in to fetch one of the plates. Urbosa shook her head as she saw Impa looking. The plight of the lesbians, she understood it perfectly.

“I understand, Impa. You know, I was a lot like you at your age. Only difference was, I never stood a chance. Don’t tell Zelda this, but...I used to be with her mother.”

Impa looked at her in shock, and she could only smile. The reaction was fairly appropriate.

“You were with the QUEEN?!”

“For a short period of time, yes. In fact, we planned on running away together upon hearing of her arranged marriage to King Rhoam. Then...something happened. She actually fell in love with him. He’s as stern as an oak now, but back in the day, he was quite the charmer.”

Impa was quiet for a moment, clearly interested in the story.

“How did you agree to be allies with his majesty after this?”

“I almost didn’t. I was about to start a war over her hand. But then she asked me to instead, stay by her side. No longer as her lover, but as her best friend. I almost didn’t accept it. But love is funny like that, so I vowed I would be there for her. Then, I vowed to be there for Zelda. So...here we are. I still love her, deep in my heart. So when I say I understand what you’re going through, I mean that.”

Impa sat there in thought, letting Urbosa take more nibbles of her fruit, before her eyes were back at the tempest.

“How...did you two even happen?”

“Funny story. I was TERRIBLY shy around her when we first met. Then my friends dared me to kiss her. I was so full of pride back then, I never refused a challenge, so that’s what I did. I kissed her. It went downhill from there. Who knows, maybe that’ll work for you and Zelda, eh?”

She nudged the little lady at her side, which made Impa blush something fierce.

“I...I’ve never kissed ANYONE before, honestly. I feel like If I tried, I’d just make things weird.”

“I could show you.”

Impa froze. No way did she just hear what she thought she heard. Their eyes met, and Impa chuckled. Clearly she was misunderstanding.

“I’m SO sorry, Urbosa, for a second there I thought you suggested you teach me how to kiss-”

“I did suggest this. You want to practice, I have a lot of experience. If you aren’t interested, that is fine. But Zelda having her first kiss is a good one...well, I’m sure that’s something you want.”

Impa opened her mouth to tell her how crazy that idea was, when Urbosa leaned down to hold her chin, lifting it up as she bent down a bit.

“You miss every shot you don’t take, Impa. I will not force you, but I fail to see why this isn’t a good idea.”

Impa thought about it. No one would know. It’d be just them. It’d be good practice for her. Not to mention...well. Who could say they kissed THE Urbosa? Arguably one of the hottest ladies out there? She dwelled on it, before meekly nodding.

“I...okay. So long as you’re patient with me, I guess.”

“I can assure you, I am a very patient teacher. Now, why don’t you go first, let me see what I’m working with?”

Impa leaned in, which was apparently funny, given how she covered her lips behind her hand. She felt her own face turn beet red.

“What?”

“You’re too tense, and you’re keeping your eyes open. Relax those shoulders, close your eyes. It’s not a fight, it’s a kiss.”

Impa took a deep breath, before nodding. There was not a thing to be scared of here. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and leaned in. Urbosa leaned in at the same time, and Impa tried not to freak out. She was sitting right here, kissing Urbosa, right on her lips! The tempest pulled away after a moment, nodding in thought.

“Not bad, but you surely need more practice. Let me show you how I kiss.”

Urbosa leaned in again, pressing her lips against hers. It was a kiss, just like before, only...way different. Urbosa’s lips were so firm, while simultaneously being so soft. Urbosa even placed her hand right at her stomach, pushing her flat onto one of the pillows she had thrown around. She held her down, all while she continued to kiss her, softly groaning into her mouth. Urbosa pulled away after a moment, carefully wiping her smudged blue lipstick as she looked down at Impa.

“Elements of surprise really make a kiss more memorable. I take it you won’t forget this one, and not just because it’s your first.”

Impa gave a light shake of her head, with the room spinning a little bit. What a kiss. Urbosa leaned down a bit, with her nose poking Impa’s.

“Now, your turn. Do it again, but add a little something to it. Go on, surprise me.”

Impa nodded, leaning her head up a bit in order to press her lips against Urbosa’s. She put a little more ‘oomph’ into the kiss this time around, even getting bold enough to stick her tongue into her mouth. The feel of someone’s tongue was something else. So wet, so warm, it made butterflies in her stomach. Urbosa pulled away with a chuckle, sensing that the little one needed to breathe. Impa cleared her throat, smearing blue lipstick that had spread over her mouth.

“So...surprised?”

“It wasn’t bad at all, honestly. It helps that you’re such a pretty girl.”

Impa could squeal. Helpless lesbian she was, the idea of a big, strong lady calling her ‘pretty girl’ made her just weak. She shook a bit as Urbosa’s finger trailed from her lips, down to her chest.

“If you’d like, I can show you other tricks aside from kissing. Not that there’s any pressure on my end.”

Impa looked around, unsure. This wasn’t weird though, right? Couldn’t be. She nodded, a bit more eagerly than she intended to. Urbosa chuckled, and got to work. Sheikah clothes were a bit conservative, with quite the amount of layers. It took her a good minute to get Impa in just her underwear and bra. Urbosa clicked her tongue.

“I understand it’s the clothes of your people, but you dress so modestly. It’s such a shame. You have such an adorable frame.”

Urbosa’s lips trailed from her cheek, to her neck, stopping just short of her chest. She was about to pull it away, when Impa held a finger up. Her cheeks were on fire, and her amber eyes were defiant.

“Hey, YOU’RE still dressed! That’s not fair!”

Urbosa blinked in surprise, before throwing her head back in laughter. Fiery little thing. She sat up, straddling the girl at this point.

“Alright, fair point, little sheikah.”

She reached behind her, undoing her chest armor, and her bra she often wore right under that. She wasn’t surprised when Impa stared at her well endowed chest, clearly having a gay panic. To taunt the poor thing further, she stood up, peeling away her skirt, tossing her black panties right at her chest, and showing her red pubic hair. Minus her heels, she was pretty much fully nude now.

“Happy?”

“I...uh...I…”

Impa was at a loss for words. Surprise surprise. Urbosa let her get a good look, before she knelt down, and pulled away her bra. She chuckled, honestly swooning over her cute little body.

"Oh you are precious. Such a lithe little frame, and such a cute chest."

Her chest was nowhere near her size, but rather, on the small end. Not that Urbosa minded, a chest was a chest. Though Impa didn't seem to agree, given how she covered her chest in clear embarrassment.

"I-i get it, okay? I'm kinda...small, especially compared to you and-"

She was silenced by Urbosa’s finger yet again.

“Don’t put yourself down now, Impa. Women like confidence. You have a lovely body, I daresay our little princess would be fond of it. If you’d just open up a bit.”

Urbosa was careful as she held her hands, slowly pulling them away from her body. Her actions were bold, but oh so delicate, and poor Impa didn’t stand a chance in hell. She got so nervous, but she made no marks to stop her. This was all advice given to her by a stunning woman? Who was she to refuse? Any doubt in her mind was erased the second her tongue grazed over one of her breasts. That actually happened. Her body froze in surprise, but Urbosa wouldn’t let her process it; kissing and suckling at her breast with one hand, with her other hand holding her body oh so close to her.

“That’s...new. Definitely new. But I don’t think the p-princess would let me do that.”

Urbosa kept at it for a moment, smearing more or her lipstick on her body as she suckled on her, letting her talented tongue graze across her perky little nipples. By the time she decided to take a break, Impa was laying there, a shaking, trembling mess.

“And why not? I have yet to find a woman who doesn’t like this, provided they know what they’re doing. Not to mention your nipples are SO eager, it’s rather cute. Why don’t you practice a bit on me?”

Urbosa sat back up, before laying back amongst her pillows. Impa somehow made herself sit up to get a good look at her. A huge set of breasts, nice wide hips, and a pussy that looked good enough to eat. She gulped, before nodding to herself. For the princess. She crawled up to her, cupping them both in her hands.

“Geez, I didn’t know they could GET this big. Really surprised the armor holds it all.”

“I’m no bigger than most Gerudo women, actually. I do however, taste better.”

She put her hand behind Impa’s head, and pulled, forcing her face into her chest. Impa took the hint, and helped herself. She massaged at her chest, slowly and deeply, while her mouth nibbled and suckled at her tits, occasionally tugging on the nipples with her soft, soft mouth. Then Urbosa moaned. It was as sensual as a moan could get; loud, with her head tossed back in pleasure. She chuckled as her eyes met with Impa’s.

“Mmmm...you aren’t half bad. But then again, it’s been a while since I’ve had a cute little vai in my arms. You’re so pretty, sucking on me like that. You like this, don’t you? Like how you feel smothered by them?”

She pressed her chest together, stuffing Impa’s face full of prime Gerudo boob. And holy shit, did it make her twitch. Urbosa chuckled, moving her chest back and forth for a moment, before finally letting the poor girl breathe. Impa was full on panting now, eagerly suckling on her breasts in a means to please the incredible woman in her arms. Urbosa was giving her just that, letting Impa have free reign while she rubbed at her wet pussy in fast, small circles.

“Oh that’s it little vai...suck on me, make me feel SO nice and wet.”

Impa was ashamed that she could feel herself dripping on the floor, but at the moment, she didn’t care. She just knew Urbosa looked so lovely, writhing and moaning and pleasuring herself. It came to a halt when Urbosa pushed her head away, Impa caught with her tongue out.

“You really like tasting. Try this.”

She stuck her wet fingers right into Impa’s mouth, and she didn’t refuse them. She was sitting here, with Urbosa’s pussy juices being shoved into her mouth. And it tasted SO good. She held onto her hand, slurping and sucking the fingers, in a desperate attempt to get more. She laughed, letting her have her moment.

“You like how I taste, don’t you?”

“Yes, Lady Urbosa. You’re so good, and so rich...it’s better than any dessert I’ve ever had.”

“Well then. Why don’t I treat you?”

She pulled her fingers away, and Impa mourned the loss. That is, until Urbosa parted her stunning legs, lightly biting her nail as she looked at Impa oh so alluringly.

“Devour me, little sheikah girl. Make the great Urbosa cum in her own home.”

“Yes, Lady Urbosa.”

Impa practically dove right in, shoving her face right into her, with a monster grip to her big, meaty thighs.

“Oh! EAGER little fox!”

Urbosa laughed, wrapping her legs around her head, keeping her nestled right where she was. Impa didn’t know if she was doing it right, but that didn’t keep her from enjoying the rich, sweet juices she was pouring down her throat.

“Oh that’s it….ooh you’re SO thirsty for a drink. This IS the first time you’ve tasted a woman. Wait till you make me cum. It’s so sweet, it’ll flood your pretty mouth, and you’ll only want more.”

Impa believed her. It was so delicious, suckling at the folds that hung out of her, watching Urbosa grope and pinch at her own chest in an attempt to make her cum faster. Impa had no idea sex was like this. Full of discovery and interest. She pulled away for air, for but a brief moment, shaking as if she was exhausted.

“PLEASE give me a taste, Urbosa! I NEED to know how a woman tastes when she cums! Please please please!”

Impa did her part, diving right back in. It smelled...different than how she imagined. It didn’t smell like roses or candy, but smelled musky, lewd. And she loved it. Impa loved how it tasted NOTHING like she had thought they would. It was so much better, knowing the truth. Even the sounds were better. Cute moans were nice, but Urbosa was LOUD, hungry to chase her orgasm.

“I’m SO close, I’m SO close, just keep DEVOURING me!!”

Her moans were passionate, so full of emotion, it was breathtaking. But not as breathtaking as when she dug her nails into her hair, forced her nose into her pubic hair, and came. She cried out as she did so, and Impa was stunned. So much hot fluid spilled into her mouth, feeling hot as it trickled down her throat. Women...tasted SO good when they came. Urbosa swore a bit in relief, letting Impa’s soaked face finally be free. Impa sat there, panting, cum covering her face, before she spoke.

“That...was incredible. Women taste so...so good.”

Impa dove in for another kiss, which Urbosa accepted, simultaneously digging her nails into her ass. Impa moaned loudly, FAR louder than she had to anything else, and that made Urbosa chuckle.

“Hmmm...something to explore later. For now, let’s focus on something other than eating, you’re already pretty good at that, even by eagerness alone.”

Urbosa laid on her side, pulling Impa right up to her. Urbosa kissed her cheek, before she hiked one of her legs over hers.

“U-urbosa-”

Urbosa’s fingers slowly rubbed her soaked little pussy in small, slow circles. All while her other hand was cupping at her small, soft breast. She chuckled into her cute little ear, loving how it shook her whole body.

“Pay close attention to how this feels, Impa. First, we rub the outside, nice and slowly. You treat your woman like art. With tenderness, passion...a bit of awe, even.”

Impa couldn’t say anything as Urbosa trailed kisses up her neck, all while oh she oh so slowly rubbed at her outside. So slowly and tenderly, smearing her own pussy juices across her own pubic hair.

“Take this time to sweet talk her. Tell her something you like. For example, I like how you’ve never shaved. It’s the right amount of cute little hair down here, and it’s oh so precious. See? You whimpered at that.”

Impa was hiding her face in her hand, trying not to moan like crazy. The way she held her legs open, the way her hands massaged her in a way her own hands never did, even the way she whispered in her ear.

“I didn’t...know I’m supposed to shave.”

“You don’t have to, most do however. It just really shows that you have so little experience. It’s SO cute, you’re lucky I didn’t bring my guards in here, they’d eat you up.”

She even nipped at her neck, as if that’d prove her point further. Impa put her hand over Urbosa’s, trying to get a feel for that slow rhythm she was setting.

“C...can you put it in yet?”

“Mmmm...not just yet, little fox. Unless you’d ask nicely, then I suppose I could speed things up.”

Impa had so much pride inside of her, it was so difficult to swallow it all, but she made herself do just that.

“Please Urbosa...I want to know how to do this properly, for her. I want her to feel like this. Please, don’t make me suffer by not letting me feel you.”

“Oh how am I supposed to say no to that?”

Urbosa chuckled. Kissing her forehead, she finally pushed a finger in. Not too quickly, not too toughly. Just enough to get that breath of hers hitching, and her body shaking. Urbosa still kept it nice and slow, merely teasing her already soaked insides. Impa was already so ready to cum, it was just the cutest thing. Urbosa kissed her neck again, watching her shake even further.

“There we go. See how slowly I’m going? See how I’m looking for that nice, steady pace? I’m looking for something. Something very-”

She swore she saw that shiver travel up her spine. There it was. Her cute G-spot. She kissed at her nose, before keeping their foreheads pressed together.

“Pay attention. Because once you master this, I doubt any woman could keep their hands off of you.”

Once she slipped another finger inside, she began her attack. Normally she wouldn’t do this to such a newbie, but she couldn’t help it. Her pussy was so eager to learn, her body was lithe and soft, and her voice. Oh her voice. Her cries of ecstasy as she fingered her cute little pussy so quickly was enough to make a heart melt. Impa kept crying out in pleasure, squirming as she felt herself quickly being shoved right off the edge. The lewd sounds of her wet pussy only made this more tasty to the Gerudo woman.

“U-urbosa! Oh my GOD URBOSA!!”

“Look at me in my eyes. That’s it, good girl. You’re going to cum, and it’s going to feel so good. Remember it, so SHE can feel good. This is for Zelda. So when you cum, cry for her, understand?”

“Yes! Yes yes YES!-”

Poor thing was near tears. Urbosa could see her eyes get misty in lust, and with a rather adorable squeal, she came, crying out the princess’s name as she slipped into pleasure, the likes of which she had never seen. It was so much, she just sat there, limp like a fish, gasping for air. Urbosa chuckled, slowly pulling her fingers out and taking a long, good lick of them. Ah, the cum of a lovely little virgin. Such a treat.

“Now, if you do all of that, little fox, suffice to say, she’ll be putty in your hands. Assuming you’ll be alright after this?”

Impa, though trembling, gave her a thumbs up.

“H..holy shit...I...i really like girls.”

[softtransbf]

Mister Nice Guy, part 1

Summary: You’re new to the BAU and get along well with everyone, almost. You can’t figure out why the infuriatingly handsome Dr. Spencer Reid seems to hate you so much.

Word Count: 2222

Reader: Trans man, he/him pronouns, no physical description.

Warnings: Alcohol, brief description of a case and therefore murder. Nothing graphic.

(Part two)

~~~~~~~~~~

It was your first day at the BAU, and you were so excited. It took all of your willpower not to skip from the elevator to your new boss' office. You definitely caught a sideways glance from an incredibly handsome man with very expressive eyebrows, but you didn't let it concern you; you'd worked too damn hard for too damn long to let anyone bring you down today. You got to the door and knocked sharply. 

"Agent L/N, please, come in," came a voice from inside the room. You took a deep breath and walked through the door.

You'd heard stories about Aaron Hotchner and the BAU- everyone had. Most people only heard the good parts- the heroic tales, the happy endings. But you liked to be prepared, to know the truth of what you were going after, so you'd also paid attention to the quieter whispers. The imposing boss who never smiles, the weird and maybe-pseudo-sexual relationship between the exuberant tech analyst and one of the profilers, the betting pool on whether or not the two female profilers were secretly gay for each other, true crime writer extraordinaire and profiling legend David Rossi leaving retirement to mostly be snarky, and the young agent with multiple doctorates who is smarter than seems humanly possible. You would never admit it, but you were particularly eager to meet the genius. He guest lectured once in your friend's linguistics class your last semester before graduating, and xe wouldn't shut up about him for an entire week. When you told xem that your transfer was approved, xe begged for "a full rundown on what he's like up close and personal" after your first case. But first, you needed to meet with SSA Hotchner.

"Please, take a seat." He gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. 

"Thank you. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir." You thanked your lucky star that your voice didn't shake.

"It's a pleasure to have you. I heard nothing but the best about you from your previous supervisor. Officially, all the paperwork has gone through for your transfer, but I would like to ask a couple of questions before we get started." 

"Of course, sir. What would you like to know?" One corner of his mouth ticked up slightly for a fraction of a second, and you counted that as a major victory.

"First and foremost, why are you interested in the BAU?" You relaxed slightly; you'd prepared for this question.

"Human behavior is nothing short of fascinating. Everyone is shaped by a unique set of experiences, but at the end of the day, we all behave in documented patterns. Everything matters, because it shapes who we are, but also nothing does, because we all end up in one of a finite number of 'shapes', so to speak. No one is the same, but we all exhibit set behavioral patterns. No matter what someone's gone through, at the end of the day, they are still understandable and predictable. I find that absolutely fascinating, and the work that the BAU does with that is incredible. I want to be a part of it, and I have the skill and drive to do so. After all, the BAU essentially wrote the handbook for Crisis Negotiation."

"That is a very interesting perspective, agent." His face was neutral, but you detected approval in his tone. "I only had one other matter to bring up- I see two different first names in your paperwork, and two of your references refer to you with different pronouns. Which name do you prefer, and what are your pronouns?"

You were floored; you'd never had a supervisor so casually look past paperwork outing you. "Y/N, sir, and he/him/his."

"Wonderful. Well, Y/N, welcome to the BAU. Let's go meet the team, shall we?" You nodded and followed him out his door into the meeting room, where the rest of the team was assembled.

"Everyone, this is Special Agent Y/N L/N. He has just transferred from Crisis Negotiation."

"Oh! New guy! Hi hi hi! I'm Penelope Garcia, just call me Penelope, and I do all the tech-y, research-y stuff." She made her way across the room to you as she spoke, talking with her hands.

"Pleasure to meet you, Penelope! I love the look you're rocking, by the way. Those shoes in particular are magnificent." You knew you were being the gay sterotype that you'd spent your career trying to avoid, but shoes that good could not go uncomplimented.

"Oh my goodness, thank you!" she said to you before stage-whispering to the rest of the team, "I like him! Let's keep him." The team laughed, and you blushed. It seemed that Hotchner had wordlessly passed on the duties of making the introductions to her, because she pointed to the agent closest to her, handsome-guy-with-the-eyebrows from earlier, and continued on. 

"Okay, so, this is Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Jenifer Jareau, but we all call her JJ, David Rossi, and Dr Spencer Reid." They all nodded, smiled, and/or waved slightly when they were introduced, with the exception of Dr Reid, who looked almost like he was looking at a puzzle. You chalked the feeling in your gut it gave you to first-day nerves.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all, and I look forward to getting to know you all better as time goes on." You were addressing everyone, but something about the way Dr. Reid was staring at you made it difficult to look away from him for too long.

"Wonderful! Now, as much as I wish we could all chit-chat and get to know Y/N better, we do have a case. Last night, a body was found in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park."

The case was interesting, twin injustice collectors, one more mission oriented, the other interested almost entirely on experimenting with different forms of torture on the victims. The former, over the weeks between kills, had started dating one of the local detectives, neither of them knowing of the other's involvement in the case. You were there when that information came to light at the killer's arrest, and you were able to diffuse the situation, ensuring that no one was harmed.

On the flight back, Prentiss insisted on the whole team going out for drinks to welcome you to the team. Hotchner declined, because he needed to get back to Jack, and Rossi said he had "plans with Tony Bennett", but everyone else agreed, mostly enthusiastically. It took significant persuasion from JJ to get Reid to agree to go out with you all. For the whole case, he was abrupt and distant with you, despite your best efforts. You knew it was silly, but you really wanted your coworkers to like you, so you decided you were going to do your absolute best to get him to like you by the end of the night.

-

"Hey, doc, first round's on me. What'll it be?" You'd noticed during the case that he shrugged off all of your attempts to start a conversation, but you figured that even he wouldn't ignore you under these circumstances.

"Uh, white wine would be great, thanks."

"White wine? At a dive bar? Does this bar even have white wine?" You'd intended to be charming, but, seriously, white wine? Who was this guy?

He opened his mouth, clearly indignant, but he was interrupted by Morgan chuckling from behind you both.

"That's why we go to this dump, newbie. It's the only bar in the area that serves white wine, which is all Pretty Boy here drinks." He winked at you and playfully elbowed Reid in the ribs.

You threw your hands up in mock surrender and chuckled. "Okay, okay, white wine for the good doctor it is. What's your poison? I'm sure word's gotten around that the first round is on me."

"You know, I might have heard something about that, and I most definitely wouldn't say no to a dirty martini." He winked at you, and your chuckle turned into full-on laughter.

You got the bartender's attention and ordered their drinks and a Jack and Coke for yourself. "It's a damn shame you're straight, Derek. Truly a crime against queer men everywhere, although I'm not so proud I can't admit that I'm a bit glad you're not competition."

"Wait wait wait, how do you know I don't like a little meat on the side?"

"So, sidestepping the fact that not all men have penises and some women do, you are so hetero that it's almost painful. Look around; men of all shapes and sizes outnumber women 2 to 1 at least. But you've spent the whole night making eyes at those women over there." You pointed to a table on the other side of the room. "Plus, I may or may not have received a very detailed string of texts from Penelope that essentially amounted to a crash course on all of y'all. I get a feeling that she might like me a little bit."

"My bad on the meat comment- I'll definitely fix that. And speaking of Penelope being a font of information, she's been uncharacteristically tight-lipped about you. What's your big secret, new guy?"

You raised an eyebrow and sipped your drink. "All you need to know is that Hotch, who strikes me as even more protective of this team than he lets on, which is really saying something, knows, and he cares less than any brass I've ever met. And I know for a fact that if Penelope thought it was concerning, she'd have at least voiced some suspicions about me, if not told you outright. I'm not ashamed of it, it's just none of y'alls business. Anyway, the blonde from the table you were eyeing earlier is coming over to see if we've been flirting this whole time so she knows whether to flirt with you or gush about how she's always wanted a Gay Best Friend oh my god. If I'm still here, it'll be both, and I'm allergic to that particular brand of cishet nonsense. Have fun, good-lookin'." You chuckled and patted him on the shoulder as you left, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw Reid roll his eyes, down his drink, and walk in the other direction. What is his deal? Whatever. I'm not about to let him wet blanket all over tonight. You took out your phone and sent out a couple of quick texts.

[To: Penelope]: Thank you for not outing me. It means the world to me. Let's get brunch sometime?

[To: Nerd <3]: you sure Reid seemed pleasant when he lectured? that has Not been my experience with him so far. you were right about him being Cute cute, though, damn. a Gay could get lost in those big brown eyes, and in different circumstances I'd climb him like a tree. shame he's Like That lmao

Looking up from your phone, you saw Emily and JJ nearby, so you went over to join them. 

"Oh em gee Y/N you're gay? I had, like, no idea! We should, like, totally get brunch and then go shopping! This is gonna be so much fun; I've always wanted a gay best friend!" You rolled your eyes and laughed at Emily's terrible Valley Girl accent. "Unfortunately, I did not spend my time in the closet learning anything about clothes. I only dress halfway decently for work because my friend dragged me to the mall and updated my wardrobe when I applied for this position. It's all xir doing."

"Well, xe has excellent taste." You mentally filed away JJ's effortless use of neopronouns.

"I'll be sure to let xem know! I'm so down for brunch, though." You checked your phone. "Looks like Garcia is too!"

"Damn, you work fast. You'll fit right in here," Emily laughed.

"Honestly, I'm a little bit blown away by how awesome and welcoming you all are. Well, mostly. Is Spencer like this with every new person, or did I somehow do something to offend him?" Emily and JJ shared a look you couldn't quite read before JJ answered.

"Spencer…" she hesitated, "He's going through something right now. I'm sure he'll figure it out soon, and things will smooth out." 

So you waited. Weeks passed, and you fit in well with the team. You ended up getting close to Derek and Penelope in particular, and you kept trying to make nice with Spencer. Weeks of cold shoulder and as few words as possible to you while being his normal, verbose self with everyone else. So, three weeks into your new job, on a night out with Derek and Penelope you made a decision.

"Look. It's been weeks, and the guy still won't say more than 5 words to me. I'm done trying to… I don't know what I was even trying to do," you slurred, you’d probably had one drink too many. "Make a friend, maybe? I don't even know. But I'm done. He wants to give taciturn bordering on rude? Then that's what he'll receive. Let's see how Pretty Boy likes a taste of his own medicine. No more Mister Nice Guy." You wouldn't remember the look they shared until much later.

And so, your silent war with Spencer truly began.