#i also have to send an email and i don't want to do that today

[elytrafemme]

i have so much homework to do and i am a little desolate about it. i also have to text the girl i’m going out on a date with to tell her in the nicest way possible that my mom fucking hates her proposed plan because she doesn’t want to drive that far. so. 

on the bright side that same girl explicitly made a group chat with me and two of her (our?) other friends to send us a Pinterest screenshot of a tweet that says “that’s great man have you ever been evaluated for autism”. so i guess that’s how my day is going 

[helennorvilles]

it's actually wild the amount of work that goes into transitioning students from primary school to high school

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[murobrown]

.

[roboticchibitan]

Today I had the spoons to hunt down my neighborhood council's email and send them an email that basically said "I would like to be able to leave my house but my neighborhood is not wheelchair accessible. Who do I talk to in order to get this fixed?" And I am planning on hunting down whoever is in charge of sidewalks in my neighborhood and getting real annoying about it.

My plan is to email them every time I want to go somewhere but can't.

Email 1: hello, please fix sidewalks so I can ride the bus places I am very passionate about public transportation and also being able to leave my house.

Email 200: This morning I woke up and wanted some delicious coffee to start my day, but upon getting out of bed I discovered we were out of coffee. I would've liked to take advantage of the city's public transportation system in order to support a local business like [examples of local coffee shops] but alas I cannot because I am a wheelchair user and my neighborhood is not wheelchair accessible. [Insert rest of arguement RE accessibility]. In conclusion I don't work I can keep these emails coming until I die please just fix my sidewalks.

This is going to be my new spite hobby. I was already mad about the abuse and general shit hand the disabled get dealt in our culture but then I started using a wheelchair and places like doctor's offices have been inaccessible to me so now I am filled with rage. So I am going to take that rage and do something with it. Like emailing my city counsel representatives at 2 am like "I crave a moonlight walk fix my sidewalks please."

[cappurrccino]

i was gonna make a list of things i need to get done today as a like. "hah! maybe if i put it where other people can see what i need to finish i'll be able to hold myself accountable to completing tasks" but um. there's. there's too many things, i think... :(

[weltonreject]

...

[the-music-keeper]

Winter Break To-Do List

Split into two categories this time.

Adulting

1. Clean out my email inboxes. (That was a LOT of emails.)

2. Laundry. (I did some bonus laundry tonight.)

3. Pack. (The usual suspects are left to be packed)

4. Get wrapping paper. (My dad was kind enough to grab some wrapping paper for me!)

Academic Things

5. Do cataloging stuff. (WOW, that took forever and a DAY.)

6. Read the chapter. (It would be very nice to be able to come back and tell my advisor, "Hey, I can meet you about the chapter whenever!")

7. Read the JURM article. (IT'S DOOOOOOONE.)

Is any of this going to get done today? Nope. But I am hoping to do some of it tomorrow.

[verysium]

This is such crack brain fart idea 😶

What if some blue lock boys ask the reader what brand her shoes (or something dumb like that) over text and reader sent them a voice message on text and it’s just:

“Hi baby, okay so the brand is—- *insert car accident noises*”

Have you seen those TikToks???

If you do this request, it can be any blue lock boys you want

HELPPP i saw something similar on hinge, and i was hunched over the side of my bed laughing for like 20 minutes. in general, i don't think pranks with any of the bllk boys would go well (unless you wanted to be punted like a football, american-style) but i'm taking a risk today, so here you go:

sae sees through your bullshit in a peloponnesian minute. he has morning practice, three interviews, and a daily nap to get to, so what makes you think he has time for you to fake a car accident? leaves you on read. (brutal, i know.)

rin is mildly concerned, but he's too smart to fall for whatever prank you have planned. he'd probably reply with a sarcastic, dry ass response or a deadpan emoji. refuses to talk to you for the rest of the day because what if you actually got into a car accident? he would lose all sanity. tbh he can't stand it when people make light of serious situations even if it's just a lighthearted joke.

kaiser is petty. he sends you an official funeral invite titled "in loving memory of y/n." he personally designed it in photoshop and even added those tacky glitter rose GIF animations on the front. coincidentally, everyone in your immediate circle also happened to receive the same mass email chain with those invites, so you had to explain to your family, friends, and co-workers that (1) you did not in fact die in a car accident and (2) your funeral is not set for the 15th. (you never played a prank on michael again.)

isagi freaks out. he's calling 911/119, whatever emergency service there is. immediately calls you and nearly breaks down in fear of losing you. when you tell him it was merely a prank, he laughs in relief but internally he's cursing you out with every colorful name in existence.

ness is isagi but even more high-strung. there is no time to call the ambulance in his mind. he's already thundering down the highway looking for the evidence of your car wreck. calls you and screams ballistically into the speaker: "WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?" so yeah....don't ever play a prank on ness. it's for your sake, not his.

shidou takes you up one notch and sends a picture of himself in the emergency room with a cast on his leg and an IV drip. this spawn of satan took your message literally and decided to copy you and got into a real car accident. so now you have to take time off work and sign the hospital discharge papers because he listed you as his sole emergency contact.

nagi doesn't give a shit. he's already chronically online, and reo's played pranks on him before. probably texts you an "ok" and then tells you he's run out of toilet paper again, so you need to stop by the store to buy some.

reo matches your energy. he replies with: oh yeah, i've heard of that brand. it's the—*insert sound of trucks colliding and screeches across asphalt* you both had a good laugh after.

ok that's all i have for now. this is going to reach a very niche demographic, but you're welcome.

[randoimago]

Headcanons of Peter B. Parker, Miguel, The Spot, and Hobie have a crush on an oblivious reader?

Crushing on an Oblivious Reader

Fandom: Spiderverse

Character(s): Hobie, Peter B. Parker, Miguel, The Spot

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): God I love the idea of these specific people having a crush on an oblivious reader because I feel like it's just chaos no matter where you look. All of them are v dramatic for different reasons tho

Hobie

Oh he finds your oblivious to be very amusing. At first, he thought you were ignoring his advances to spite him for some reason (which he'd respect it). But then he just realizes that you don't get it.

Honestly, not too surprising you don't pick up on his advances. He doesn't do things the typical way. Flowers? Chocolates? Like hell he'd contribute to capitalism to flirt with you. He also doesn't really flirt with you with the standard "your eyes are pretty" "you look cute today" yeah no. It's definitely "hey, let's go to this protest and shout ACAB at any cops that walk by"

The most "romantic" (he doesn't believe in romance) thing he does is play his guitar for you. Even then it's lots of loud noises but he throws all of his emotions into it so that's something.

Miguel

Considering he doesn't even try to make it obvious that he likes you, it's no wonder you haven't realized. Hardly anyone knows that he's even "flirting" with you (making you 'employee of the month' isn't flirting, it does make Lego Spider-Man suspicious tho).

He's nicer to you than others, but that's something that even he is oblivious to and if Lyla or Peter mentions it then he denies as a defense mechanism. You deny it because you really don't see it.

The funny thing is, Lyla has gone behind his back to send you cute messages and stuff from his email but even those you don't get (and he doesn't know she does it) so now she's getting frustrated on his behalf.

Peter

He is gradually going insane with how you're not picking up on his advances. He's given you flowers, chocolates, he's said really dumb dad jokes to leave a smile on your face. But if anyone mentions your relationship it's always, "Yeah he's a good friend!" and he dies inside.

Has gone to Miles and Gwen for help. He can't believe he resorted to asking teenagers for help hitting on you and he can't believe he's trying to follow their ideas. (he mentioned looking up "how to flirt" and when the word "thicc" left his mouth, it caused an uproar)

Honestly wanted to get the sweatpants out and brood because maybe if he looks like a sad hobo then you'll give him attention. His doctor told him he'd die without your attention so please notice him before he goes bald.

Spot

Does not know how to flirt so your obliviousness is both understandable and killing him because he's trying. He's trying so hard and it's so pathetic. Especially because when he fails with his flirts, the self-consciousness kicks in and then he's just sad.

His words are stutters, he has tried to steal you flowers only for one of his spots to grab a cactus instead (which he ended up pricking himself with and now needs tweezers). Wanted to win you a teddy bear at a carnival cause that's cute, right? But he can't find a damn dimension with a carnival! (unless you count the spider society cause they're a whole circus)

Would probably just end up so dejected because he's tried so hard and has finally chalked it up to you not getting his advances because you don't want to. Why would you even like someone covered in spots like him? You trying to comfort him doesn't really help either. Maybe he'll sadly confess to you, maybe he'll die alone, who knows at this point.

[dqrciedaily]

baby arsenal pt.2, arsenal wfc x teen!reader

a/n: proper old arsenal photo oops

but i’m really enjoying this series so feel free to send some ideas or requests in x

this was also inspired by my hatred of math during gcses

-

after a tiresome day of training, gym sessions and still a team meeting to be had, y/n trudged wearily into the communal area of the shared living space. the weight of her school backpack felt heavier than usual, laden not only with textbooks but with the burden of many impending assignments.

with a dramatic sigh, she flopped onto one of the couch’s, her exhaustion noticeable as she buried her face in her hands. "i actually can't do this," she moaned, her voice muffled by her palms. "i just can't focus on schoolwork! especially after a day like today."

lia, who had just walked into the room after a physio session, glanced over at y/n with a sympathetic smile. "i know you don’t want to y/n/n, but i’m really not in the mood for another email from school," she said gently. "but you know you have to get it done. how about this? if you do as much of your homework as possible, you can decide what we have for dinner tonight."

"anything i want?"

lia nodded, her smile widening. "anything you want," she confirmed, but before she could continue leah walked into the room. “what’s going on?” she questioned setting down next to y/n. “wally said i get to pick what we’re having for dinner tonight!” y/n excitedly told the blonde as she took out the first assignment.

“uh no, i’m coming round for dinner tonight you better not pick something i don’t eat!” leah groaned but y/n paid little attention as she got started on her work.

her brow furrowed in concentration. but as she dived into the complexities of her math assignment, frustration quickly replaced her initial enthusiasm. the numbers swirled before her eyes, a jumbled mess of equations and formulas that refused to make sense no matter how hard she tried.

despite the best efforts of her teammates, who all tried to help her with either words of encouragement or even some attempts at explanations, y/n found herself sinking deeper into despair.

"it's actually no use," she muttered to no one in particular, her voice tinged with defeat. "i just don't understand maths. it’s stupid."

kyra who was sat on the couch opposite from y/n finally had enough of her complaining. “okay no i’ve had enough of hearing you moan and complain. stop moping about and let’s go annoy katie or something!”

with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, kyra led the charge out of the room, eager to abandon the maths assignment that had about three lines written down, y/n quickly followed kyra to the dining hall where the others were. but as they approached the dining room, their plans were abruptly halted by the arrival of kim, who cast a curious glance in y/n’s direction.

"hey, y/n/n, have you finished your homework yet?" she asked, her brow furrowing in concern.

y/n shook her head sheepishly, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "no, not yet," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

kim's expression softened with understanding. "it's okay," she reassured her, "but why don't you go work on something else for now? you can figure out the math later."

“oh but please just a few minutes of break we just wanted to ask katie a quick question” the puppy eyes deeming unsuccessful as kim’s expression didn’t change. “please kimmy.”

“fine. only a few minutes though!”

the duo shouted “thank you kimmy, we love you!” over their shoulders as they raced off to go bother katie.

upon their arrival in the dining room many heads turned but then turned back to their conversations. they spotted that caitlin had gotten up from her chair, leaving both seats next to katie vacant. they quickly occupied the chairs turning to face her, almost in unison.

“pineapples or blueberries?” they said in unison

“sorry what?”

[konigsblog]

calling tf141 + könig "babygirl" and slapping/grabbing their ass(their reactions)

masterlist

warnings: brief mention of smut; spanking with a belt, spanking,

also LMAOO the gif, i had to use it it's fits so well with this, if you have any submissions please send them in! :)

simon ghost riley

you saw it. he was inthe kitchen, wearing the tightest looking trousers you'd seen him in ever. as he bent over you reached out and slapped his ass, hard.

he froze immediately. slowly, his head turned towards yours. the look in his eyes revealed anger, "love, what was that?" he questioned, you'd be lying if you said that you weren't slightly intimidated.

"your ass looked good... what can i say?" you smirked, throwing in a playful wink before running off, just as you took off he dropped whatever he was doing and chased after you.

as you landed on your shared bed, he straddled your thighs, "seriously? slapping my ass?" the look in his eyes revealed lust, as he flipped you onto your stomach before bending you over his knee.

it's safe to say that the bruises on your ass tought you a lesson.

captain john price

you could hear him typing away on his keyboard and scratching his pen on paper, he insisted that he had a lot of emails and phone calls to be made, and that he would come out later.

little did he know that you took this time to plan, you planned your own mission. the same way he would. you would go up there and speak to him, distract him by asking; "what do you want for dinner?" or "are you thirsty, im going to go downstairs for a drink?" and whilst he was distracted you'd drop his pen onto the floor, far enough away were he'd have to get up and bend over to get it, and then you'd pounce, grab his ass. the same way he did to you last n-

you made it clear that you were coming by knocking on his door, "come in!" he announced out to you. "hey baby, i was wondering what you wanted for dinner? i can't make up my mind." a smirk grew on your face, he wasn't facing you yet though. he turned, "why don't we order a takeaway? chinese sound good?" you came closer to his desk, pretending to wipe something off his face while your other hand was throwing his pencil off the desk. "sounds good!"

it had worked, so far. you hid behind the door frame, watching as he looked for his pencil before noticing it on the floor next to his bookshelf.

just as he bent over, you grabbed his ass. something came into your mind halfway through and you decided to fake-thrust into him.

his eyes shot towards your laughing face. "the fuck was that, love?" his deep voice could send shivers down your spine but you were too busy laughing your ass off.

before you knew it he bent you over and playfully dry humped you. "hey!" you laughed out. fair play.

john soap mactavish

he was working out in your small home gym, it wasn't anything big or luxury just a spare room you both didn't know what to do with.

his muslces tensed as he lifted weights, sweat visible dripping from his forehead. you saw a trend on tiktok about slapping your partners ass and recording their reaction. you took his phone, preparing to send it to his friends for the laugh of it.

as he placed down his weights he stayed there bent over, trying to get some composure before he moved onto his next set. you quickly but quietly sped over, slapping a handful of his juicy ass. he squeaked in fear as you doubled over in laughter. running out of his room so you could send it.

he chased after you, yet not quick enough before you sent it. realizing what you did he ran over, trying to get his phone of you but you squirmed out his arms. regardless, it was too late. they all saw it and he got laughed at because of his girlishly squeal.

kyle gaz garrick

you knew he would be home late today, he was going out with his friends to drink a bit before heading back.

however little did he know what was coming for him. you heard the doors open, a sigh from kyle that sounded relieved to be back with you in your shared house.

as your were lying down you pretend to be asleep, you kept one eye open on the lookout for kyle, as then you saw him. he was humming a song, just as he looked at you, you quickly shut your eyes. he played with your hair before making his way over to your dresser, bending down to get some pajamas.

he removed his shirt leaving him shirtless. quietly you got up, his humming blocked out all noise coming from you. as he stood back up he felt a hand slap his clothed ass, he let out a high-pitched squeak and scream as he jamp backwards nearly falling on you.

"[name] what the hell?! oh my god!!" you hunched over in laughter not able to contain whatever noises came out of you. he flipped you over his shoulders throwing you onto the bed, "let's see how funny it is now, hm?" as he discarded his belt, making a loud snapping noise with it.

you still couldn't contain whatever noises came out of you, but this time they were lustful.

könig

könig was sat on the couch, watching some romcom that wss on tv, he seemed to get bored rather quickly. you knew this because you had been watching him for 15 minutes. that would sound creepy to someone who didn't know your was cheeky plan.

he rose to his feet, stretching his back. he had knocked the remote on the floor and kicked it away accidentally when he stood up. he muttered some german curse words.

you sprinted over, but because of his fast reflexes he jumped around, grabbing and pinning you to the couch. "maus, what are you running for? i didn't know it was you." he laughed, you sighed in defeat, huffing and trying to get yourself free from his embrace.

"ugh, i was gonna do this tiktok trend, noo!" you groaned out, seemingly frustrated. he always had quick reflexes from his training in the military. "yeah? what trend?" he smirked at you, laughing at your noticeably annoyed face. "basically you slap your partnes ass..." his eyes widened and you smirked, "really now?" he flipped you onto you stomach holding your hips up and pining your hands above your head. "let's see how funny this is." as he removed his belt and pulled down your pajama shorts.

it hurt to sit down for the next few days, not only from his belt.

[leothil]

About deco my tree

If you, like me, used the decomytree-site to receive and send messages lately, you've probably also seen the post warning that the site might have nefarious intentions. This is likely correct. When I went to look at my messages today, it told me "Currently, only the app can open messages due to high usage." That is clearly complete bullshit. It's probably self-evident, but DO NOT DOWNLOAD THE APP. This is base level scam stuff: trick people into getting excited about a service, then lock it to only one platform where the user will have to give up some information in order to get what they want.

(Obviously, I can't say with 100% certainty that something sus is afoot, but my warning bells are ringing very loudly. I am leaning towards this being more of an attempt to lure money out of people than an information stealing attempt, but you can never know.)

I took a look at what the app requirements are:

This ain't great for something that allegedly only is for leaving cute messages for other people. I'm looking specifically at the "Data isn't encrypted" part. If you've taken a look at your tree today, you've probably noticed that ads for an AI app have appeared here and there in the UI; this is by the same company behind deco my tree.

Now. If you still want to see your messages, there is the option of running the app in a virtual environment that isolates it from the rest of the device, and thus from the data on it. I think iOS and Android both might have native sandbox environments, but I'm not familiar with them. What I did was download an android emulator to my computer and installed the app there. It's completely separated from the rest of my OS and will cease to exist when I nuke the session after reading and saving all my messages.

The emulator I used is called Bluestacks. It has ads and will take up ca 5GB of space, but it's a reputable emulator, and I've used it before to play android games on my desktop. Once you're in there, you can navigate to your tree in the already existing Chrome browser on the desktop (or home screen, I suppose), and find the link to their help center, where they have a download link for the apk file without needing to go through the Play Store (which you'd have to log in to using a google account). Also a bit suspicious, but handy in this case. I've also included the links above for you to use. Once you've downloaded the .apk the app will open and you'll be able to log in and see your messages.

Side note - if you used a generic password that you use in several other places for this tree, I highly recommend changing it in all other places, especially if you usually combine it with the same email you used for decomytree.

Another fun thing I noticed is that the app refuses to load the earliest three messages on my tree, for whatever reason. But when I navigate back to the website (inside the emulator), it now opens the messages just fine since it can tell I have the app installed. 🙃 The app also continuously displays ads for the same AI app mentioned above, trying to trick you into clicking on them when you're swiping through your messages. It also does this fun thing:

Yeah. Bypassable, but highly irritating, and guaranteed to catch at least some poor people that don't know what to click on to make it go away.

TL;DR: don't download the app directly to your phone, use a sandbox to isolate it to see your messages, and then ask it to delete your account (and hope that it works, because so far the so-called verification code has failed to appear in my inbox). And change your password if you've used the same one elsewhere on the internet.

[vanwritesfan-fiction]

Hii love<3 i hope everything is fine🫂

So the other day i accompanied my brother to pick up my niece from kindergarten and she went out with a boy was he carrying her backpack, that was nice 🥹 but i also saw my brother almost have a heart attack because she is his little girl (that was funny lmao) i thought it would be nice - fun something like that with Jack🥹🫶🏻 you can take it if you want (no pressure only yesterday i remembered it while i was reading that petition where B was talking about Patrick)

Sending you lots of love and hope you are having a good week🫶🏻🫶🏻ily😙

Hi love! Thank you so much, I am doing well and I hope you are too! This idea is so cute, thank you for sending it in!

'Are we good? I've got somewhere to be." Jack looked up from his phone at Nemo who was focused on the control board. "Your last verse was a little pitchy, wanna run it again?"

"I like pitchy, its my new sound." Jack joked as he checked the time on his phone, his leg jiggling up and down nervously.

Nemo gave Jack an incredulous look. "Man, what's going on with you? Any other time, if I called you pitchy you'd cuss me out and you've checked the time on your phone like five times in the last 10 minutes."

"He's got a date with his girl", Urban chuckled from his spot across the room. "Girl? I thought your wife was out of town", Nemo asked as he looked between the two of them. "My other girl, Liyah. Its just us this weekend so I'm gonna pick her up from pre-school and take her on a daddy-daughter date today."

A low rumble of "aws" echoed across the room, making Jack blush. "I can still take five minutes to cuss you out if ya'll don't stop", Jack warned as he got up and grabbed his things before heading out the studio, Nemo and Urban busting into laughter as soon as the door shut.

Luckily, Jack timed it just right so he was first in the carpool line with a perfect view of the door so he could see when Aaliyah came out. He answered a couple of work emails while he waited for school to end, jumping out of the car as soon as the bell rung to join the group of waiting parents. Jack rarely got a chance to pick the girls up from school, so he didn't recognize but a few parents he'd met when Aaliyah had a playdate, giving them quick waves hello.

"You must be Jack. Aaliyah talks about you all the time." Jack turned on his heels to acknowledge a voice behind him, coming into contact with a parent he knew he'd never met before. "Hi, I'm Sarah, Parker's mom." Jack took the extended handshake as he slid his phone in his back pocket. "Nice to meet you, Jack Harlow."

"Oh, I know all about you. Parker and Aaliyah have become good friends this year so I've heard all about your music career and how cool of a guy you are." Jack gave Sarah a gentle smile. "I guess paying your daughter does work after all", he said in jest, quickly backtracking when Sarah's face fell.

"I'm kidding, promise I don't pay my children to talk about my career", he bit at his bottom lip, wishing he hadn't made that joke. "Sure", she muttered, taking a step back.

Jack made a mental note to tell you to avoid Sarah in the future, quickly getting over his embarrassment as a bunch of kids came running out. He spotted Aaliyah within the busy crowd, her messy curls up in two ponytails, her face in that beautiful smile that reminded him of you. He took his eyes off of her for a second when he felt his phone buzz, checking his text messages in case it was work related.

"Daddy!" The smile that formed on Jack's face at the sound of Aaliyah's voice quickly turned into a scowl as he saw that she wasn't alone, holding the hand of a little boy her same height as they walked toward him. His breath hitched at the sight, his chest tightening as he tried to keep his composure. "Hi Daddy! Look, I colored you a picture!" She shook the pink construction paper in front of Jack, but he was to preoccupied trying to figure out who this boy was that was holding his precious baby girl's hand.

"Who's this, Liyah?" Jack dropped to his knees to be at eye level with his daughter, taking her backpack from her. "This is Parker! He's my boyfriend!" It took everything in Jack not to pass out on school grounds, his grip on her bag tightening. "Hi, Mr. Jack!", Parker answered, jumping up and down, swinging their arms between them.

"Hi, Parker", Jack mumbled, watching Sarah approach out of the corner of his eye. "Aren't they so cute? They think they're boyfriend and girlfriend", she chuckled, reaching out for Parker, who took her hand. "I wouldn't call it cute, but what do I know?", he gritted out between clenched teeth. Jack didn't mean to sound argumentative, but he sent off a pre-schooler to school this morning and he was picking up a teenager. "Alright baby, let's go." He gave Sarah a weak smile as he grabbed his daughter's hand.

"Bye Parker! I see you soon!" Aaliyah broke away from Jack to give Parker a hug before catching back up with him. "Yeah, bye Parker, see you never again." Jack mocked as they walked to the car, his face scrunched up in irritation.

****

"Baby, we need to find a new preschool for Aaliyah." Jack stroked his beard, his gaze focused on the ceiling. He had his phone rested on his chest as he laid in bed talking to you, the house quiet with Aaliyah asleep.

You chuckled, rolling your eyes, even though he couldn't see you. "Like hell we do, Jack. We were on a three year waiting list for that school. What happened?"

"Parker." Jack grumbled out, making you laugh out loud. "Ah, so you finally met Parker." That made Jack quickly shoot up. "You knew about him?"

"About your three year old daughters harmless little boyfriend? Yes, yes, I did." Jack scoffed, throwing himself back down on the pillows. "I don't know about harmless, baby. They were holding hands and everything."

"Jack, please, don't start. Liyah is only three years old, she thinks she's in love with every boy she meets because that's all she knows." The only thing Brooklyn and Aaliyah knew about love at a young age was from watching you and Jack, who even so many years later were still head over heels in love with each other. It set a great example, but they were both so young and didn't understand different types of relationships yet. "She sees the way we are around each other, and thinks that how you act with people you love."

"I guess", Jack sighed, running a hand through his hair, "it just made me realize she's not my baby anymore."

"Jack, you're getting way ahead of yourself. She is only three, she still needs you for pretty much everything, and she loves you so much more than she does anyone else, including her boyfriend." You threw that in knowing that would irritate him, hearing Jack shiver over the phone. "Stop using that word, please."

"Fine", you giggled, "but you still have plenty of years before you have to worry about any real boyfriends. Plus, I'm pretty sure Parker is your biggest fan."

"What does that say about me, that my biggest fan is a toddler?", Jack asked, but you chose to ignore his quip. "So we can stay at this school?"

"Yes, we can stay at this school. We do have to avoid Parker's mom, Sarah, though." That caught your attention. "Why? I like Sarah. We're on the PTO together."

Jack let out a nervous chuckle. "She may or may not think that we pay our daughters to talk about how good of a rapper I am."

[roboticchibitan]

Today I'm going to talk about a form of radical resistance that anyone, no matter their situation, can engage in: cultivating hope.

Are you filled with hopelessness and despair at the state of the world? I have some good news and some bad news.

The bad news is you've fallen for a tool of the status quo. Despair freezes us. It keeps us from imagining and working towards a better world. Despair is easy, because it means we have no reason to take action to make things better. Capitalism? Our oppressors? They want you hopeless for a reason. Because you're easier to control that way.

The good news is! There's a lot of very real reasons for hope. However, hope is something you have to cultivate. It takes work. It is a radical act. It is looking at the status quo and going "actually, no. I refuse."

Maybe you can't risk losing your job to unionize your workplace. Or maybe you're an oppressed minority who can't risk going to protests because our criminal justice system is racist. But cultivating hope in yourself is just as radical an act of resistance as those two things. It is another form of imagining and working towards a better world.

It's not as flashy as starting a union or going to a protest, true. Maybe it feels selfish, like you're only helping yourself. But that's not true. It's a lot harder to help others when you, yourself, are frozen by despair. By working on yourself, you are making it easier for you to help others, in whatever form that takes for you.

For me, since I started my hopepunk practice I have been more able to engage in activism, even if I no longer post about it. Before calls to action froze me. I was so overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of our problems that I was unable to address any of them.

Since I've started cultivating hope in myself, I've unfrozen enough that I was able to choose the causes that matter to me and put my energy there. I engage in more charitable donations and political actions now than I did before. I am happier and also helping others more than I did before.

Cultivating hope in yourself is hard at first. You feel defeated before you even start. But you start putting work in and you find a little hope. And then a little more. And a little more. And then, suddenly. It snowballs and you're doing better than you have in years, and hope comes easier to you now.

If you don't know where to start, go follow @hopepunk-humanity @hope-for-the-planet @afeelgoodblog and @reasonsforhope or follow the hopepunk tag

There's also things like the good news network, who have a daily email they send out with a handful of positive news stories. Some of them I find kinda dumb and shallow like "lost dog returned after 3 years" type stories. But there's also a lot about scientific advancments in green energy, medical care, etc that I find helpful for cultivating hope. Did you know about the CRISPR gene editing tool that's being used to cure incurable illnesses? I didn't! And now I do! afeelgoodblog also runs a substack "best news of last week" newsletter every Monday that I find has stories with more substance, tho it is US focused.

Despair isn't helping anyone, especially not you. Engage in a radical act and start cultivating hope in yourself. You deserve to leave that despair behind, and in the process, you are directly going against the powers that have decided we are easier to control if we are miserable.

[empiropediazine]

Contributor Applications!

It's finally here! :D

If you've been waiting to apply to the zine, consider the waiting done! We have prepared a google form for you to apply with, but don't worry about privacy! We won't be able to see your emails or any other information you don't specifically share with us.

Link to the applications

Just a few notes before you apply: This zine will require you to be over the age of 15 in order to apply. Applications open today, Sunday the 11th (at midnight GMT) , and will close three weeks from now, on March 3rd (at 11:59 GMT). Please fill in the form carefully, but if you make a mistake you can just send in a new form!

If this is your first time hearing about our zine, or you just want to know a bit more about the zine, we will put some extra info under "Read more"

What's all this then?

Empiropedia is a zine focused on Season 1 of Empires SMP and its worldbuilding. The zine will be structured, as the name suggests, a bit like an encyclopedia! It will be an in-universe collection of historical records from the various empires and it will feature both writing and illustrations. The zne will also be completely free!

What can I expect if I get in?

If you get into the zine you will be assigned one (or potentially more, depending on what you answered in the form) empire and category to work on. This zine allows for a big variety of styles and techniques to be applied for both writers and artists, so if you've been looking to experiment a bit this might be the place for you!

Where do I find more info regarding the categories?

We have made three different posts with all the explanations for every category that's been included in the zine:

Writing caregories

Portraiture and architecture

Clothing, creature, and prop design

Can I apply if I don't have drawn/written anything Empires-related before?

Feel free to apply, but without at least one Empires SMP related piece there's a lower chance you will get into the zine.

Can I apply if I've never watched Empires SMP?

As previously stated, this zine focuses heavily on worldbuilding, so it requires at least basic knowledge of the lore of whatever empire you apply to. If you think that you possess said knowledge even without having watched any of the POVs feel free to apply, but we will most likely be favouring people who did watch the series.