#and treat myself to dinner and maybe even a drink who knows

[the-music-keeper]

Winter Break To-Do List

Split into two categories this time.

Adulting

1. Clean out my email inboxes. (That was a LOT of emails.)

2. Laundry. (I did some bonus laundry tonight.)

3. Pack. (The usual suspects are left to be packed)

4. Get wrapping paper. (My dad was kind enough to grab some wrapping paper for me!)

Academic Things

5. Do cataloging stuff. (WOW, that took forever and a DAY.)

6. Read the chapter. (It would be very nice to be able to come back and tell my advisor, "Hey, I can meet you about the chapter whenever!")

7. Read the JURM article. (IT'S DOOOOOOONE.)

Is any of this going to get done today? Nope. But I am hoping to do some of it tomorrow.

[nicolesainz]

Down Under Lover (DR3)

Daniel Ricciardo x f!reader

Author's note: The plot is focused on a dream I had, it may be very small but so was my dream so life is unfair. I haven't written about Danny in ages so I had to appreciate my aussie bf

Summary: When Daniel falls in love, shyness but also thrill runs into his veins. He is scared of admitting his feelings but will also try everything to be around her. Everyone is encouraging him to confess although for that to happen, he needs a bit of a booster.

Warnings: alcohol consumption, making out, slight swearing

The moment I enter the club, a wave of nervousness rushes over me as I see him present in the room, talking to his friends, laughing with a massive smile plastered on his face. I am so glad he decided to come to the party.

When I found out that my friend had invited both him and my ex, who happens to be a very close friend of his, I was startled. At first, I didn't want to go, given that if I was in the same room with the both of them, I would spend the entire night silent, fully drunk and worried about what my ex would say.

Luckily, it was his sister's birthday and he wasn't able to show up. Luck was again on my side that night given that once I saw him in the club, I let out a soft sigh of happiness.

"Happy birthday girl" I say to my friend, giving her a tight hug, handing her the presents as I am instantly surrounded by my best friends that were also invited.

"He's here, you better go and say hi, otherwise no alcohol for you." she threatens me in a joking manner. I lay my eyes on him once again and I catch him staring at me. I smile and go towards him.

"Hey you" Daniel greets me first with a small smile on his lips and I quickly soften around his presence.

"Hey, I am glad you decided to come. It was a good choice."

"You were right. Maybe tonight will be fun, who knows?"

Neither of us knew. Until we found out towards the end of the night.

The first few hours run smoothly. Dinner is served and all of us take turns to eat. I was debating on whether I wanted to eat or not, given that every time my ex was around, I would refuse to eat anything and instead drink whatever was available to me. Then of course I would end up with a massive hungover and a headache that felt as if someone was hammering me.

It was very unhealthy to not eat anything. It took me way too long to realise that I was only harming myself whilst he was having fun and completely ignoring me. I joined the circle of my friends and had a good laugh whilst Daniel was with his friends and his laugh was echoing through the entire room, sending a warm feeling to my heart.

Him being happy is also making me happy.

After dinner was over, he came over to my friend group and we were talking about all kinds of stuff. How life had been treating us, how busy we were with our jobs and especially Daniel, having to travel the world with Formula One. All the attention was on him, talking about his experiences the past season and how he was ready to fly back to England for the release of the new Alpha Tauri car but Red Bull's as well for 2024 and get ready for pre-testing season.

What he didn't know, was that out of everyone in the room, I was always keeping an eye on him. Whether that was through my ex or from Formula One. I was the most joyful person on earth when my boss told me that I was assigned to write an article about Daniel's return to F1 after the dispute with Mclaren and him having no seat for the first half of 2023.

I always thought my ex was going to become an F1 driver or pursue a career in motorsports, given he was and is a junkie about cars. Daniel had never crossed my mind. He seemed to know a few things about motorsports but not in the level of actually becoming a driver, a very successful one as well.

There was an unexpected interruption in the conversation with his phone buzzing loudly. The first thing that came to my mind is that Christian may had been calling him, or Max, maybe even Yuki or Lando.

Definitely not the person who was actually calling him.

"Wassup mate, you alright?" As his deep and scratching voice drifted inside my head, I instantly wanted to throw up. I hadn't talked with my ex for about 9 months now and I had truly found the peace I was looking for. Until now that it was erupted.

"Yeah, having fun with everyone and chilling. All the best to your sister by the way. I will bring her a gift next time." The cheerful Daniel wasn't as smiley as he was a few minutes ago.

“Say, is Y/n there with you? Assuming it’s Cath’s birthday, she’s definitely around.” My face instantly dropped and a disgusting feeling took over my stomach.

Why did he care if I was at the party? We haven’t talked for so long? Has he not gotten over me? When he so easily agreed in breaking up?

“Yeah, she’s here. Why?” Daniel’s voice quickly stiffened at his friend’s question, not really wanting to be truthful to him.

“Can I talk to her? She won’t pick up her fucking phone or reply to my texts. Acting like a toddler Jesus Christ.” My ex said followed by a laugh which made Daniel’s blood boil and a few tears shed down my cheeks.

I needed to clear my mind. I was too foolish to realize how much of a bad influence he was and how much he was harming me. I wasn’t in love with him after some time. I was just scared of him.

“Sorry mate not really.” The strong Australian accent with a hint of irony made me giggle through all the crying.

“Why? Already shoving her tongue down someone’s throat? Knew she secretly was a slut.” The moment the slur came out of his mouth, Daniel replied with the most jaw dropping thing a man could say to his best friend.

“At least I can make her cum and feel good. Cheers.” And he instantly hung up. My friends were shocked with his answer and turned to look at me who was full blown red, under the bright colorful lights of the club, eyeing Daniel very intensely.

“Ricciardo saved the day.” Cathrine, the birthday girl said, nudging me playfully, before Daniel grabbed my hand and led us a few meters away from the rest of the group.

Truth be told, I had never held his hand before, hence why I had so many butterflies in my stomach when I felt his touch. And we had been classmates for many years.

Daniel was mumbling his words, trying to find a way to form his sentences. The way he reacted to what my ex said was so questionable but at the same time, gave me hope that he may have slight feelings for me. Very slight.

"I am so sorry for what I said before. I don't know how that came up to be honest." He eventually said, scratching his neck awkwardly and toying with my fingers. Daniel was blushing so hard that he was transferring his nervousness at me as well.

"It's alright. I want to thank you for not handing me the phone. I was in no position to talk to him. Nor will I ever be again." I said shyly, with him probably knowing through his friend why we wouldn't be in contact any time soon.

"I am glad. I mean, not glad, like, uh, I am happy that you don't want to be with him again, wait, not, that sounded wrong. What I mean is.." I started giggling with him stumbling on his words, trying to express himself and clearly failing. I know Daniel has good intentions. He always did.

"I understand Danny, don't worry. You weren't really a fan of us since high school and it took me way too long to realise that you were always right about him."

It was true. Ever since I first got my heart broken by his friend back in high school, he was one of the few, maybe even the first boy, to tell me that I didn't deserve this and instead should avoid him at all cost, because falling in love more would harm me.

I had to date him to actually understand the harm he would do to me. I was always supporting him, knowing he would never hurt me, given the kind boy profile he always had at school. That was mostly why I fell for him. Because I knew he would appreciate my kindness.

And yet he did not.

"I only wanted to protect you. I know how much you loved him and I am sorry I wasn't there to stop him from doing you more bad than good. At least, are you happier now? Now that it's over?"

As if I didn't have enough reason to love Daniel, his protective side over his friends, made me fall in love for him even more. I guess that's what 'kindhearted' means. Not just being shy and not rude to ones feelings.

"Yeah, I very much am. And hope to be even more. Are you happy?"

"I hope I will be, Y/n. I truly hope."

I took him into a soft hug. Wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders, as I feel his firm hands against my waist. It was a great feeling seeing Daniel again. We got really close when during senior year and I am glad we kept in touch with each other.

Daniel's head was on the crook of my neck, his beard scratching my soft spot which made my entire body tingle. His touch was so pure and yet so electrifying.

"I love you Daniel. I hope you know that." I whispered in his ear without a doubt, tangling my fingers against his bubbly, curly hair, which caused him to sigh happily.

"I really wish you knew that I had been in love with you since day one. I wish you had been mine and not his. I wish I was the one who could've treated you like the way you deserve." My heart stopped beating at the sound of his words.

Loved me since day one?

His and not anyone else's?

I felt disgusted with myself for not having realised sooner. I was the first person he sat next to back in 10th grade. He was the first boy I confessed my feelings for my crush who was his best friend. He helped his best friend express himself at me so we could end up together. He was the first person to tell me that I deserved better in life than my ex, who was not worth of my love.

Daniel was truly worth of my love. All the years I have known him, I have never felt more comfortable around a guy and now that he had finally confessed his love, my heart pooled with admiration, love and desire for this man.

I wish I could have loved his sooner. I wish I was dating Daniel sooner. I wish it was Daniel instead of him. A thousand times more.

"You deserve the love of the world. And I would be more than happy to give it to you." Daniel softy kissed my lips as the words came out of his mouth, that was burning mine with so much passion.

Kissing Daniel took me back to senior year when I had developed a massive crush on him after I got heartbroken the first time. There were so many instances that I wanted to tell him how I felt and yet I chickened out every time. But now, it was the perfect time.

"Only if you let me love you unconditionally, Daniel. It goes both ways." His smile took over the anger that had taken over his headspace a few minutes ago.

[lovevuni]

Double Dare Romance : Enoch O’Connor x Reader : Part 2 Success

Warning: Flirting, Fluff, slight dirty flirting (like two bits), Slow burn

Summary: You take your new challenge into effect, taking every oppurtunity to flirt with enoch to get him flustered in order to soften him up. Your only goal is to get under his skin and have him admit defeat. Is this when you succed?

A/N: Again I hate using Y/N but sadly have to. Enjoy~

Part 1: Challenge Accepted

You are unpacking your luggage in your room Miss Peregrine has assigned to you.

“Ah, Y/N. Always one step ahead of everyone else. I must say, I admire your tenacity.” Enoch says as you are unpacking causing you to look at him.

“tenacity?” You question not understanding the word. 

“Yes, tenacity. Despite our initial differences and the challenges that arise when you’re around, you never give up or lose sight of your goals. Whether it’s advancing your mission or getting under someone’s skin, you always keep pushing forward. It’s an admirable quality, even if it does drive me mad at times.”

“The only thing I want under is you pretty boy.” You tease him causing him to raise an eyebrow at your amusing words.

“Ah, I see you’re still trying to rile me up. Well let me tell you, Y/N, there are much more effective ways to get under my skin than cheap taunts and insults.”

“I bet there is, but this is a lot more fun” You wink.

He chuckles at your antics, “Indeed it is, Y/N. And who knows, maybe someday you’ll find a way to genuinely get under my skin. But until then, I suppose I’ll just have to content myself with watching you try.” 

Claire walks into the room announcing that it was time for dinner before skipping out of the room. (I love claire)

“The night is still young, Y/N. Perhaps we could continue this conversation over dinner? My treat, of course.” In your head you roll your eyes knowing Miss peregrine and the children make the food.

“We shall” You say as you grab his arm for him to escort you down to dinner.

He smiles as he takes your had, leading you out of the room and towards the dining hall.

“A charming lady like yourself should definitely make the most of social situations. Who knows, perhaps tonight will bring about a new opportunity to annoy each other further...or perhaps something more meaningful may come from it? Only time will tell.”

“Oh I plan on it” You finish the conversation as you take a seat next to him, planning your next attack.

He takes a sip of his drink looking pleased as ever, “You know, Y/N, sometimes I wonder what motivates you. Is it simply the thrill of the chase, or do you truly wish to engage in meaningful discourse with me? It’s hard to tell with you; you’re so elusive and unpredictable.”

“I’d never tell you” He grins at this.

“Of course not, Y/N. That would defeat the purpose entirely. Part of the fun is trying to figure you out, to test your boundaries and push your buttons. And yet, despite our differences and opposing viewpoints, there’s something about you that draws me in.” 

You decide to end the conversation there and move your focus to Millard, conversing with him about different books you both enjoy.

Enoch watches as you begin to speak with millard about literature, “ Ah, a love of reading. How quaint. I must admit, though. I’m suprised to see you conversing with such a lowbrow individual as Millard. Then again, perhaps you seek to prove some sort of point by associating with those beneath you?”

You decide to ignore him and continue your convo with Millard.

He seems offended but stays silent as you converse with Millard, but continues to watch you carefully.

As you finish talking and begin to eat Enoch takes this time to try and speak with you again, “So, did you enjoy your chat with Millard? I must confess, i found it somewhat amusing to observe.”

“You’re observing me now?” giving him a shocked look knowing full well he was.

He smirks, “Indeed, I find myself fascinated by your every move. Perhaps it’s because we have such a strong connection. Or maybe it’s just that I enjoy pushing your buttons. One cannot be sure in these matters. What do you think drives your interactions with me Y/N?”

“You believe we have a connection now? If I were any better I would say your catching feeling now Enoch” You say teasingly as you run your foot up his leg under the table making sure non of the children see what is happening.

He laughs as he glances at your foot on his leg before meeting your gaze once more, “Oh, I know you are much too good for me, Y/N. But perhaps there is something about the way I challenge you, the way I push your boundaries, that appeals to you on a deeper level.”

“I wouldn’t say that now” You continue to move your foot up his body to a more intimate area of his, still making sure no one else can see.

He smirks leaning closer to you, their voices low enough not to be overheard, “is it possible that part of you enjoys the thrill of danger, the excitement of exploring forbidden territories? Are you secretly drawn to the darkness withing me even though it terrifies you at times?”

“there is nothing intimidating about you my boy, I’m just trying to prove that I can get under your skin” You whisper with your hot breath in his ear.

Gasping with shivers down his back as he feels your warm breath against his ear, “You certainly succeed in getting under my skin, Y/N. And yes, I admit it - there is something about the darkness inside of you that draws me in like a moth to a flame.” SUCCESS!

You laugh as you completely pull away from him in a succeeding manner, “told you I would get you”

He laughs, “Well played, it seems our little game has become quite heated. Shall we continue?”

“why should we, when I have already won.” You get up in victory from the table to help Claire get ready for bed, “Come on Claire, time for bed.”

He watches you leave the table and take care of Claire, feeling conflicted emotions swirling within him.

“Intrigued by your wit, intelligence, and hidden desires. Driven by the need to understand you better, to uncover the depths of your soul.” He says to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 3 : Only Fun

[mrs-snape5984]

“I have nothing left. And all I feel is this cruel wanting…”

“And as much as I'd like to feel like I belong here, I'm just as scared as you.” (“Lost in paradise” by Evanescence)

I have to put a trigger warning (suicidal thoughts and swear words) on this post and I’m doing this before I’ve even written my text. I’m sorry. I only need to scream my pain out.

1, 5 years. 535 days. 12840 hours. 770400 minutes. 46 224 000 seconds. Approximately.

1,5 years ago, my life became my personal hell. I feel captured in my own useless body…captured in my goddamn dark room, captured in my fucking overstimulated mind. And who’s my sadistic prison guard? It’s this cruel bitch of a disease ME/CFS!

Wasn’t it enough yet?! Am I such a horrible human being, that I really deserved even more shit in my life?! There have been so many ordeals in my life…so many rough times, disabilities and diseases…so much anxiety and stress to deal with!!! What have I done wrong to deserve all of these dreadful things?! Seriously, what have I done?!?

I must be some kind of a magnet for disasters…I can’t explain it in any other way to myself. Maybe, I’ve just yelled “here!” for all these experiences…maybe I’ve volunteered accidentally?!? Watching your parents fighting night after night until you have to intervene again and again? Here! Being sexually abused at the age of 12 years? Here! Being raped at the age of 15 years? Here! Multiple surgeries and endless pain? Here! Domestic violence? Here! Multiple Miscarriages? Here! Months of pregnancy staying in bed at the hospital? Here! Fighting for the lives of your extremely premature born children without a partner on your side, even though they were the result of ICSI treatment? Here! Colitis Ulcerosa? Here! OCD? Here! Disability? Here! Several other severe illnesses? Here! Getting ME/CFS and being doomed to a life in darkness and silence? Here! Here, here, here!!!!!!!!! Fuck me sideways!

Is it me? Am I the problem?! What have I done wrong! Tell me, God, what shall I do to end this madness…to finish this suffering?! I’m already broken!

And yes, I know, I have three wonderful children….and I’m forbidding myself to leave them behind…to leave them alone. They need their mother. I know that all. But seeing the sadness in their little faces every day…noticing the disappointment in their voices every fucking day…it’s breaking me.

I’ve tried to have dinner together with my children tonight. Therefore, I wore my noise canceling headphones, my sunglasses and I told them to be as quiet as possible. And still….still….fuck! Their movements, their voices, when they spoke all at once…the light in our dining room…everything was too much for me!! I got disoriented…overwhelmed by this overstimulation. All I could do, was to close my eyes and to wait until dinner was over. I couldn’t eat or drink, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t interact with my children the way, they deserved to be treated by their mother! So…what kind of mother am I now? I’m just a shadow of the mother…of the person, I’ve been, before ME/CFS started to destroy me. I’m only a pathetic failure. My children deserve more than that!

I’m hopeless…and all I want is to let myself fall…just like Julia lets herself fall into the tempting abyss in this heart wrenching drawing, which I’ve commissioned from my dear friend @madfantasy. I’ve told Mani to make Severus come and save her. He’s there…holding her back…grabbing her in the very last moment, screaming “Stay with me, Jules!”. Severus is her last anchor. Severus is my anchor. I won’t let myself fall with him by my side.

Mani, my precious friend, I can’t tell you how grateful I am, that you were brave enough to give my cruel fantasy a face. I know, that my dark thoughts can be overwhelming, especially for someone, who’s also struggling with their own mental health. I’m apologizing for the way, I’m pouring out my grief and despair over your marvelous artwork. But you’re the only artist, who’s capable of getting a grasp on my emotions and transforming them into something so powerful, so delightful like your art. Thank you for everything, my dear. 🫂🫂 (Fly fly)

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[almostgigi]

"I Know The End"

Warnings: hurt/no comfort, angst everywhere, crying, yelling, unrequited love, light use of y/n, heartache. So fucking sorry!! Also Eddie throws some mean comments so, mean!Eddie but almost not.

Summary: Reader confesses to bestfriend!Eddie, but he stands there and, after a few seconds, he turns around and leaves. Poor reader’s heart is shattered and her only company are her sorrows. Seeing him again would be a challenge.

wc:2.9k

Eds and I were friends for a long time now. We met at school when I was just the new kid with big hopes and dreams and they seemed to go to hell on the second day there. A group of boys from the basketball team harassed me and made me cry, but it was ok, cause my hero came to rescue me.

“¡leave her alone you assholes! She’s a lady, ¿what the fuck are you doing treating a lady like this? That just speak of how little your dicks are, no men that deserves respect would do this” he had said. Somehow, he broke those guys egos and they left me alone forever. I haven’t heard a word from their mouths ever again. Not to me at least. They were afraid he would come at them if they did.

He was now my best friend, confined to love me for eternity and beyond, and so was I. We started hanging out, and then hanging out more until there was no time we spent separated. Nights talking, drinking, smoking. Evenings of coffee and cookies, mornings of jogging and laughing at how funny Eddie runs. Days after days where our trust in each other was stronger and our bond was even unbreakable. He knew my house, he met my dad, I knew his place and had met Wayne. There was nothing we didn’t tell each other; I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me. Well, everything except for one thing; my eternal and utter love for him.

There was a point in my life where I started to see him differently, I don’t know when that was because suddenly I realized most of the time I thought about him, or I would dream with him, maybe even pay more attention to his gestures. But I know exactly when was the exact moment I knew I was inevitably in love with Eddie.

We were in his trailer, I stayed the night. We already had dinner and were watching a movie in his couch, my legs resting on his lap, one of his hands caressing me every now and then. Some shitty horror movie was on but I was lost in my head. Suddenly I look at Eddie who was very invested in the movie, and I notice his lashes are longer than last time I saw them. He’s always been a fan of horror movies to the point where they made them laugh at some moment. And when he did I looked at his lips and I mentally slapped myself for even looking at something that shouldn't be important to me. But his smile was beautiful, and his laughter made his chest rise and fall quickly. His chest, I wanted to sleep in it, I knew it was the most comfortable and his heart rang in my ear when he did. And suddenly I imagine myself kissing him, it was only a second that flew in my mind, but it was enough to make me move in my place trying to get that thought out of my head, it wasn't right.

“everything ok sweetheart?” he asked.

“y-yes, I was just sleepy” I invent an excuse worth having thought of such a thing.

“oh, in that case, let’s go to bed. I’m sleepy too, I was just comfortable” he giggles and I die inside. He’s mesmerizing. “I’ll feed the cat and we’ll go to bed, alright?”.

“yeah, sure. I wanna say goodbye to Moonlight please” a stray cat we often fed and we decided to name after a few months.

“course honey. Here you go Moonlight, but first...” he picked the cat up in his arms. “mommy wants to say goodbye” his words went straight to my fast-beating heart. I kissed the kitty on the head and scratched behind his ears a little. Then he went to eat as Eddie puts him down. “now we’re done for today. I’ll close everything and you go put your pjs, alright?” I nodded and went to his room. Room we often shared when I stayed the night. We were already comfortable enough to sleep together, but that night was different. “you ready? It’s freezing cold outside, good thing I got the heater last week, although I’m warmer when you hold onto me” he lets a snort out and I wonder what he’s thinking about.

“you use me for my heating service” I say in a playful tone.

“oh darling, you wound me, I’ll never hurt you anyway possible” his arms wrap around me and the cold weather is left behind as we warm each other, our bodies intertwined, also our legs. “I’ll see you tomorrow baby, good night” his voice in a whisper.

“good night Eds”.

I realized I wanted common and simple life only if it was with him. Just him and I and out little Moonlight against the world. Pay the bills and make dinner, go to sleep under a million covers and hug forever in the bed. Wake up together jsut like we always do and kiss under the light of the kitchen when I’m making breakfast.

And I would of loved it if that night wasn’t only my awakening, but his too. It would have been a dream come true if he realized he actually loved as me more than just a best friend while our bodies were wrap together. But it didn’t, it was just a normal night for him. To me, it was my whole heart exploding into a million pieces like fireworks.

I can’t blame him for not feeling what I felt all this time, that would be just pathetic of me. Plus, I can’t really hate him even if I tried my very best. So I had gathered my guts and I’ve put them close to my mouth so I could say what I’ve been meaning to say for a long time. It was easy, right?

I love you.

I’ve been loving you for a real good time.

I love you with my soul.

Nope, it wasn’t easy. Just thinking about it makes me wanna throw up. There are many ways this could go.

1- He loved me too (I’m waiting is this one and this one only so we can be Mr. and Mrs. Munson someday)

2- He loves me like a friend and nothing more but eventually falls for me (I fell first but he felt harder)

3- He doesn’t love me and never will (I’ll probably go sleep on the highway)

4- He hates me and never wants to speak to me ever again.

¿See? Those are good options. Well, not good if he doesn’t love me back but at least they’re realistic. And as you can see, I didn’t say

5- He stays quiet with a blank stare and then leaves without saying a word like a fucking psycho.

Which, if you wanna guess, is exactly what he did. Maybe it was a reflex, or the best he thought at the moment, but he knows me like the palm of his hand and he knew that would hurt me.

This night was almost exactly like the night I realized I loved him. Him and I and a movie we didn’t know. Moonlight was already ours, so he was inside in his tiny bed. I did not think, that would have made it harder, I just said it.

“Eddie, I love you” I spit.

“I love you too, dummy” he thinks I tell him I love him like I normally would.

“No Eds... I love you” I say the mid word in a different tone so that he understands what love I meant. The hand that was holding my leg finally lets go and goes back to his lap. His eyes are astronomically big right there and then, he can’t believe it. What can I say? I’m good at hiding stuff. He stares a couple seconds more and then he just gets up, grabs his keys and leave. Leaves my house like millions of other times, but this one feels wrong. Feels like he’s never coming back through that door. Feels like a thousand cuts in my heart and he didn’t even say goodbye.

I curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep. Inside my head I keep reliving the moment he leaves me and I sob uncontrollably until I have no more tears left to cry and I try my best to rest.

“It’s been three days, rob, three fucking days. He’s never been away from me that long, he’s not going to be my friend anymore, that’s it” I was convinced he was gone and everything in between us both would stay forever unspoken, broken.

”Darling, you need to give him time, he’s a man, they can’t process information fast, look at dingus” one movement of her head leads me to look at Steve who’s moving some boxes around the house.

”Huh?” he says, he heard his name.

“See? Living proof” she jokes. We both laugh and keep helping him around.

”You moving out?” I ask given the thousand boxes he’s carrying.

“I wish, no. I’m just moving this to the garage. Some things I no longer need. I’ll take them to charity tomorrow morning” he leaves one on the floor and shows us some clothes and toys from when he was a little boy.

“Here, I’ll help you organize them” maybe that way would be more easy and fast.

“Go nuts baby” his smile is wide and I spend my evening with them, having a good time and forgetting about anything else.

Monday mornings were absolutely disgusting to me. I could barely drag my feet out of the bed and make coffee. School wasn’t any better, and without the best of my friends I can say it would be a shitty day.

“Maybe he has been thinking and came to the fact that he loves you but he’s waiting to tell you when you’re alone” Peter, one of my friends, says trying to cheer me up.

“Or he hates me for ruining our friendship and he’ll rather die struck by lightning than see me again” me being a pessimist was absolutely normal by now.

“Or there’s that too” I give Peter a dead stare. “What? You said it” I shake my head and keep eating.

By the time we had to leave I couldn’t find Eddie nowhere. He wasn’t at lunch in the cafeteria and he wasn’t in his respective classes. He wasn’t in the library either so I had only one place more to look. Old drama classroom where he and the guys would have hellfire reunions was close on my way out so I step aside and knocked. It seemed like nobody was in there but I could see the lights on. I stepped inside not even wanting to knock again. He was sitting in his throne observing the nothingness and thinking I assume.

“Sorry, I saw the lights and went in. Couldn’t find you anywhere” I explain to him, as he lifts his gaze to connect it with mine.

“Mhm” It’s the only thing he says. He doesn’t speak, just hums.

“I’ve been looking for you, wanted to talk you know?” I launch an attempt to touch on the subject.

“about?” he tries to avoid it, obviously.

“don’t play dumb, you know about what” I spit. No time for rodeos.

“It’s not a big deal, don’t bother” the way he talks, he’s never done it before.

“¿It’s not a big deal? ¡Of course it’s a big deal! I told you I love you for God’s sake ¿How is that not a big deal?” tears already threatening to come out of my eyes.

“I didn’t intend to hurt you” yeah sure.

“but you did, you stood there like a ghost and never said a word, which I can almost understand because you weren’t expecting it, but then you proceeded to avoid me for days when we always spend them together, that I can’t understand. I refuse to, actually” my stomach hurts, like a million butterflies dying.

“you know I hate awkward situations, I don’t know how to handle them. What did you expect, really?”

“I don’t know, but certainly not avoiding me, that’s not the answer to any problem” I raise my voice a little, a hot rage coming from me was palpable in the air.

“well I’m sorry if I can’t be the perfect guy you want me to be. Apparently I’m some kind of imbecile since I can’t take correct decisions” he’s fully screaming at me now. I want to cry like a baby.

“you’re being idiotic Eddie, you’re missing the point. I came here to make things better, not to fight” I hold both my arms with my own hands to give me some kind of comfort.

“pretty fucking nice we’re treating each other, ¿don’t you think?” still loud, the vocabulary extends a little.

“we’re losing the thread of the conversation, please” I try my best to calm down as it’s not going well and I’m making him react the worst possible, and that makes me wanna cry even more.

“¿What do you want from me?” he’s tired, almost as if talking to me devastated him. Made him feel empty.

“¿From the bottom of my heart? For you to love me like I do. But I know I can’t force you to do it, so I want you to be clear, honest. I need to hear you at least, cause being away from you it’s killing me” the sweet sound of his voice was like caramel to my ears. I loved to hear him talk about his likings and everything he did say during the day. These past four-to-five days were torture. Not being able to hear him, his laugh or just him complaining about a song or movie he hates and had to see cause Wayne wanted to at dinner table.

“I just- I don’t feel like that y/n” and just like that my world fainted. I knew he probably didn’t like me back. But hearing him say it is actually really hurtful.

“Okay... Yeah, that’s what I needed. See? That wasn’t so bad” tears roll down on my face, from my cheeks to end in my lips, where I taste them, salty.

“it’s not okay, you’re hurt now, you’re hurt cause I don’t love you like a woman” his hands are in the air, every movement defining his uncomfortable behaviour.

“I lived before being unloved by you even as a friend, I’m not gonna die without your love” I state my point as a ‘I don’t care if you don’t love me back’ even when I do.

“so you don’t want us to be friends anymore?” almost a question, almost an statement.

“that’s not what I said, c'mon”

“you said that if you didn’t have my friendly love you would live anyways”

“yes, but do you know how fucking much that would hurt? Eddie, I rather have you as a friend than not have you at all” my brows frowning as I plead with my eyes. I plead that he understands how much I love him as a friend first and then whatever this is. “I can live without being loved by you, but I can’t live without you in my life” I take his hands in mine, he flinches at first, then he let’s me take them. “you’ve been my person all this damn time, you’ve been there for me and we’ve been each other’s comfort. I can’t lose you. A world without you in it is a world I don’t wanna live in. A little heartache won’t kill me, I’ve been there before. Loosing you will, looking at you and not being able to talk to you. Seeing you from afar and thinking I can’t tell you to come watch a movie, to hear a new song with me. Walk through the forest with you or go to parties just to drink and dance then go for a burger and home like old people. Smoking together and sharing the most stupid thoughts, laughing so hard it hurts, but good. That would kill me” the sudden feeling of his hand on my cheek makes me go black instantly. Forgetting my love for him would be the hardest I’ll ever had to do. But it had to be done.

“I’ll eventually come back to you, I know. But I’m not ok, I never meant for this to happen and I feel responsible. Hope you can forgive me and give me the space I need, I’ll come back to you when I’m better, when I’m not feeling guilty or like I could break your heart even more for being close to you, with any gesture of mine” all of his insecurities about this were showing finally, and I felt like I broke the most pure thing I had in my life. I should of kept my mouth shut. He leaves again, this time I just know he ain’t coming back, cause I’m not gonna look for him like today. I interrupted his space to see him, that’s not gonna happen again. He prefers not to keep me, that’s okay, I’ll learn to live like this. Wish I wasn’t crying like I just lost my life.

[toxicanonymity]

Toxic: this is from 🎃 anon who kindly asked about writing something for me. this is amazing and it starts after cucking stepdad with another Joel so read that first. so many references 😭 💗

Anonymous asked:

Halloween here! Here's my lil fic just for you. I had fun rereading both Joels' fics and tossing in some inside jokes and hopefully captured their mannerisms and speech (dialogue is hard for me). Thank youuuuu!:) (also ur the genius not me lol). SDJ=Stepdad Joel

Joelkemon Universe What If?

(what if you met up with Thighs after your latest cucking fun) BY HALLOWEEN ANON

1.5k, thighs out!Joel x f!reader, cuck!SDJ

After the three of you come off your high, SDJ shuffles into the pool’s bathroom/locker room to clean up. He doesn’t come out for a while, and you and Thighs Out swim around a little and you chat and flirt together. You find out he's staying at the resort for two weeks partly on vacation and partly for work. He's a sports agent for a very famous golfer who now in old age is more famous for their spokesperson work for the resort and makes surprise appearances in the course for golf fans.

You both agree to meet for dinner that evening at the nicest restaurant on the water. “If you need anything in the meantime, sugar,” he brushes his thumb against your lip and you sigh. He looks up past your shoulder and his eyebrows go up. “Just give me a call.” He kisses your hand and nods his head, calling over your shoulder “Take care buddy!” to SDJ who just came back from the locker room and has a permascowl across his face. He looks between the two of you and shakes his head. “For god’s sake”, he mutters under his breath and huffs off while you lay on one of the chairs, soaking up the sun with your book. 

You tell your mom and SDJ you have dinner plans with someone and your mom says something like “good for you girl!’ but SDJ's jaw drops and he blurts out a short "No!" and then covers his mouth. Your mom laughs and smacks him in the chest. "Oh c'mon hon she's an adult. Don't be such a square.” You hear them leave while you're in your room getting ready.  

You change into a snug, lacy swimsuit coverup that could pass for a dress. You put on a new, skimpier swimsuit underneath and some strappy, tall sandals. Thighs sends you the name of the restaurant and you send him a mirror selfie from the bathroom. “Damn, sugar 💦 Don’t keep Daddy waiting 🦪” You mentally agree to yourself to send him at least three nude selfie that night during dinner. 

At the restaurant Thighs treats you to drinks and the best meal you’ve had the whole vacation. He asks about SDJ’s deal and you tell him the abridged version of your history. 

“Yeah, he sounds like a-” 

“Jackass, I know” you sigh. 

“I was gonna to say a dumbass prude, but that works too." He leans back and takes a drag of his vape (🍃) and blows it out to sea. "No way I could stop myself if you were under my roof. Hell, no way I'd wanna.” He licks his lips. This stirs something in you and you feel your core pulse under your dampening bikini bottoms. He passes you the pen and you take a huge hit.

“So, do you want to fuck him? No judgement if you do.” He puts his hands up defensively. You hesitate and he laughs.

“Alright..do you want to fuck with him?" You decide he's onto something and you both start plotting.

You move to the bar of the restaurant after dinner and the sun has almost set. You send SDJ a snapchat pic of you holding your near empty margarita glass in front of the sunset. He opens it but immediately notices a glint of light on your chest: it's a very familiar looking gold chain. He immediately messages you to Take That Off and Who Took That Picture. You ignore him and ten minutes later he sends you a link to a stunning and extremely expensive Zeels diamond necklace and message that just says "please" and “im sry”. Maybe we're being too hard on him you tell Thighs. “You could be harder on me,” Thighs pouts jokingly. “You know I’d be happy to return the favor.” You smile and tell him to close his eyes. His eyebrows shoot up and he grins, eyes closed. “Okay, you can open them.” There’s something soft and hot pink sitting on the small bread plate he didn’t use from dinner. Thighs out drops his jaw, for once since you met him, he is speechless.

You text SDJ a thumbs up emoji and a selfie of yourself without the chain. You're leaning over, giving him a decent view of your tits that he came to not four hours earlier. 

SDJ tries to video chat you and you decline the call. He calls you and you pick up, "What is it now?". "Just missin' you s'all." SDJ slurs drunkenly. Your mom made friends with a bachelorette party so I'm in the room…alone…" He sounded more pitiful and sultry. "Look" you say, cringing at how pathetic he sounds. "The only way I'll even think about giving you another chance is that you prove to me you're sorry. For being such an overprotective, prudish, selfish, cheating asshole." 

There's a long pause. "So you don't want to fuck me?" he whimpers. 

"I didn't say that" you say bluntly. He hears a loud laugh and woo that's my girl on your end of the phone. “Just wait for my text, ok?” you say. “‘Kay baby. Love-”. You hang up.

You send SDJ one last picture, this time over text, you’re in your coverup looking out over the bar's balcony at the beach. He replies with a picture of his bulge nudging his veiny hand while laying on the couch and a heart emoji next to his head.

Thighs and you head to the beach with two pool chairs after dinner. It's late enough in the evening that there are only a few people left straggling by the water. The beach bar is far but close enough that someone could see you two if they were really looking for something filthy. 

You really do feel sorry for SDJ. And you really do miss teasing him and sneaking around. But if you two are going to fuck again, he has to prove he was in the wrong. And if that ends up blowing up in your face you can at least blackmail him. It’s a win-win for you either way.

You lay on the chair as the evening cools down your skin. Thighs holds your phone with one hand and with his other peels your coverup off and unties your bikini. He kneads your breasts, continuing to point your phone at your tits and face. "Are we filming?" you purr at him. "Hell yeah, baby. And you look like a fuckin' star." You blush and he chuckles, rubbing his inner thighs off camera where his swim shorts end. You flop back in the chair and he grinds his shorts and his growing dick outline into your core. A little bit of trimmed pubic hair peeks out from the tent in his shorts standing almost at full attention. That show is just for you however. He keeps your phone's camera pointed at your jiggling breasts and face screwed up in ecstasy. "Say stop," Thighs growls as he grips the fleshiest part of your hip and thrusts his covered erection into your dripping seam. "M-more!" you loudly beg and arch your back. A few silhouettes at the bar look in your direction. This only makes your nipples harder and you grind quick little circles into his crotch, aching for some friction. "Be patient, baby. You can do it. Tell your Stepdad your offer." he smacks your bottom playfully as he continues to record. You blush and turn away from the lens, biting your lip and say, "I will forgive you, if you do something for me." You look into the camera lens. 

"There's room service and a box being delivered to your new room, you can thank him [Thighs Out] for covering the cost, in about an hour.” you say. “Open the box and text me if you're game or not. Talk soon!" you wink and the video ends. You send it to SDJ and he texts back "Anything for you. I'll pick up the key now." 

Thighs Out kisses down your neck and sucks your nipple while manhandling your ass so much it starts to feel sore. "Wanna come to my suite, sugar? That is if I can take my hands off this sexy fuckin' ass of yours." He jiggles it while playing with your bikini straps and slowly ties them back up. You nod your head yes and pull on your coverup. You both walk back to the main road in the resort and take a shuttle bus to the expensive side of the resort. You find yourself back in his room, legs splayed and laying on your tummy completely bare. You wiggle against the soft white comforter, Thighs already rubbing your ass and murmuring in your ear. "Do you want to wait for him before we record?" You shake your head and say, "I'll still want to even if he doesn't."

"God I love your energy, baby." Thighs presses a hard kiss into you and carnally licks your mouth. He breaks it off to grab his phone and opens the camera app. 

"Let's get started, baby girl. Let Daddy teach you what a real cock can do."

-------

Toxic: Ok the "woo that's my girl" took me out 😭 like ik it's my line but the context is so perfect and you can just imagine stepdad hearing it on the other end of the line. 😭 Also I 100% imagine thighs out being no-judgment, very in character.

Thank you, 🎃 anon 🖤

--------

[gremlinvanfleet]

seen for the first time - h.s. - requested 

❃

this is an anonymous request! i wanted to say thanks to all of you who are requesting and asking questions! i love hearing from all of you so much! 

original request: hi! can you maybe write something about how harry and y/n met for the first time? i saw this tiktok that harry was petting a dog in chicago so maybe something like they met in a coffee shop and harry started petting y/n’s dog and it was love at first sight? thanks!! x

after being at work all day, one of your favourite things to do to unwind is go for a walk. when you unlocked the front door, you were greeted by a wagging tail and paws landing on your knees. you smiled as the dog yelped in excitement from your return. 

“hello sweet boy!” y0u cooed. he looked as if he had his own smile as you rubbed his back. 

you walked your way into the kitchen and saw that his food bowl was empty. explains the amount of excitement. you filled the bowl and he happily ate his dinner. so much for the greeting. you headed into your room to change into some leggings and a hoodie to take the boy for a walk. you put on your favourite pair of beat up nikes and grabbed his leash. the instant he hears the jingle of the buckle he’s bouncing off the walls, trying to get outside. it’s quite comical really. 

you locked the door behind you and led him down your favourite avenue. it’s always so pretty this time of year. the leaves are more vibrant with the different appearance of the chlorophyl and the air is so crisp and fresh. your dog seemed to enjoy it as well. you passed by a dog friendly cafe and decided to get a quick pick me up for the way home. 

when you walked in the storefront, half a dozen people were with dogs, and the other half weren’t. must be pretty good coffee then. you ordered yourself a large iced americano and got your dog one of the pre-made treats that were sitting in a baked goods display. you were waiting for your coffee when you heard an accented voice talking to your dog. 

“hello there, little one.” he held his hand out for a sniff. 

“oh, sorry. he has to say hello to everyone.” you apologized on behalf of your pooch with a chuckle. 

“’s all good. i’m happy to say hi. dogs like me for some reason.” his eyes met yours. they were a beautiful pale green and it made your stomach warm when you noticed that his gaze lingered on yours for a bit longer than one usually would. 

“that means you’re a good person!” you exclaimed, recalling something you read previously about animal instincts. “or maybe he just knows you’re harry styles.” you laughed. 

“guilty. is that really what that means?” the man smiled up at you. his perfect teeth showed behind his lips as he spoke. you returned the smile and could’ve sworn you saw his cheeks become redder. it didn’t take long for you to recognize him as harry styles, so the butterflies in your stomach became more frantic. 

“for y/n?” the barista called out your name before you could even answer. you turned to harry 

“well this is me!” you grabbed your drink and turned away from him, even though every bite in your body told you not to. 

“wait, y/n!” he called behind you. your stomach flipped at his use of your name. he stood even taller and closer to you than he did before. “this is gonna sound dumb, but i’d be kicking myself in the ass later if i didn’t ask for your number.” you smiled and immediately blushed. 

“i was hoping you’d ask.” you giggled and write your number down on a napkin for him. 

“thanks love. talk to you soon.” he grabbed his drink, which happened to also be an iced americano and left with a wink before you could even process what just happened. 

you walked out with a leash in your right hand, and your coffee in your left. you held a small smile on your face, thinking about how harry had called you by your name after hearing it only once, and how he drinks the same coffee and how his eyes glistened from the pot lights of the cafe. everything about his was just so perfect. 

you got back home and settled yourself on the couch with a book when your phone vibrated on the side table on your left side. 

unknown: y/n. so nice to meet you and your furry companion today. i hope to see you soon. how’s friday night? i’m not in town much longer but i need to spend some more time with you. let me know. - h. 

y/n: friday sounds good. see you then :) 

harry: can’t wait love :) 

even just through just a text message, he had some bizarre supernatural effect on you, and soon you’ll be spending a whole evening with him. all because of your little mutt. how crazy. 

word count: 776

requests: open!

© gremlinvanfleet 2022

[mysticstarlightduck]

OC Questionnaire Tag!

Thanks for tagging me @willtheweaver (here)!

My questions were:

What is your idea of a romantic date?

Can you be trusted to keep a secret?

What is one thing that makes your blood boil?

Your questions are:

What is your favorite drink?

Do you know how to dance?

What would make you never forgive someone?

I'll go with the cast of Song of Thorns and Supernova Initiative for this one!

What is your idea of a romantic date?

(Song of Thorns)

Renn - "I don't know. Maybe a romantic evening in the forest, with a candlelit dinner set on a table amidst a beautiful meadow. Or a fun-filled night at a tavern with good songs being sung by the bards and a feast worthy of kings!"

Tarrant - "I'm not... a very romantic person. I've never had a chance to really interact with someone whose feelings for me were genuine - people around me are usually targets or enemies. This made me have severe trust issues towards people who get too touchy-feely - it's usually not a great sign. However, I guess that a nice evening out in town, followed by a quiet picnic would be very nice though."

Cadenza - "Oh, definitely a peaceful walk through the orchards - preferably in spring when the fruit blossoms are in bloom and the forests are lit by multicolored stones. After that, maybe doing some puzzle-solving or participating in a local fair would be really fun!"

(Supernova Initiative)

Jack - "I would take my date to the best restaurant I know, and then we would have a trip around the most exciting and fun places in town. Afterward, we could get into my spaceship and go stargazing or simply just fly around! I've never dated anyone before, but I think this would be the best date idea - or at least it's the best idea I've had so far, haha."

Deimos - "I'm not sure I would even know where to begin. I've had a few experiences with dating before, they weren't the best, weren't the worst. I think that if I ever fell in love with someone enough to plan a date myself, I think that something simple but heartfelt would be the way to go."

(Song of Thorns)

2. Can you keep a secret?

Renn - "Hmm. (chuckles) I guess it depends on the secret. I would die to protect a secret if it was really important but if it was a silly or funny secret with potential for gossip I would tell everyone. There's no in-between, haha."

Tarrant - "Yes, I can. First of all, it's my job as a Silver Snake - political manipulation, deceit, seduction, etc. Secrets are basically my trade. Second, I live in a very dangerous city, and knowing how to keep a secret is basically one of the few things that keep someone safe there."

Cadenza - "I think so. At least I hope so. I try my best to be a good confidante to my friends and never tell anyone's secrets unless they tell me to. I might be a bad liar, so if I have to lie to hide a secret it wouldn't go so well, but I would do my best to not tell the secret."

(Supernova Initiative)

Jack - "Yes, I'm great at keeping secrets. Being a thief often means you can't go around trusting everyone, and some secrecy comes with the territory. Plus, there are things I don't want to burden my friends and family with, so I keep the secret to myself so they don't have to struggle with it too. For example, nobody on my crew - especially not my sister - knows about the experimentations the Director has been doing to me - it would hurt them dearly to find out, and I don't want that to happen at all."

Deimos - "It depends. What's in it for me?"

3. What is one thing that makes your blood boil?

(Song of Thorns)

Renn - "Bigotry and prejudice - especially when coming from humans who consider vampires as aberrations and dehumanize us as if we weren't people who felt pain or had dreams of our own. I also cannot stand cruelty and people who think they're better than others just because they have a certain amount of money or a specific station."

Tarrant - "I despise people who treat others like garbage just because they can, or when people think they're entitled to anything they want. Another thing that I hate is people who just want to use me or are generally creepy to me. It makes me uncomfortable and I hate it because there's nothing I can do against it as long as my contract binds me to my employer."

Cadenza - "People who spread rumors about others. Especially when it means they can gain something from it. Time and time again I've met people who absolutely destroyed another's life with their gossip just because they were jealous of that person. I also can't stand fake people or when someone is trying to be overly mocking or sarcastic. It makes my skin crawl and I want to hit them in the face."

(Supernova Initiative)

Jack - "One of the things I hate the most in this whole world is oppressive governments who think they can take away the freedom and lives of innocent people just to achieve their goals. Fuck that. I also hate when people try to control or manipulate me - it's just the same feeling but on a smaller scale."

Deimos - "What makes my blood boil is people who are cowards or whose word means nothing to them. And people who think torture and brainwashing are okay just because they justify it in the name of "progress" - I've had my fair share of encounters with a specific someone like that. Never again."

Tagging (gently): @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @oh-no-another-idea, @littleladymab, @little-peril-stories

@the-ellia-west, @winterandwords, @cowboybrunch, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@leave-her-a-tome, @writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @cakeinthevoid

@lassiesandiego, @thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams and OPEN TAG

[chvoswxtch]

Miss ma’am could I have an old fashion with Mr. Castle?👀

Creators choice, go wild my love <3

my fiesty little phoenix,

you can have whatever you'd like. thank you for letting me run wild with this one. I hope you enjoy. <3

headcannon below the cut

frank castle finally takes a goddamn day off

i personally think it's criminal we never got a single scene of what frank likes to do in his free time, so i'm taking it upon myself to make y'all feed into my delusions of what that would look like, because the man deserves a day of fucking peace, so let's give it to him

frank is an early riser. after years in the military, his body is just trained to wake up at a certain time, and no matter how much he wants to sleep in, he just can't

i'd like to think frank sleepily pads through his place, makes himself a strong brew of coffee, and goes outside to watch the sunrise. i think he would enjoy the peace, when it's early in the morning and everything is super still and quiet, and he just gets to exist for a little while, slowly let his body and mind wake up as he takes in the tranquil colors of the sunrise

maybe he'd make himself a nice lil breakfast. he strikes me as a bacon guy, so whatever he makes, just know there's bacon. he likes the applewood smoked thick cuts. don't ask me to explain, i can't. it's just something my soul knows

we saw that frank likes to read, so maybe he spends some of the morning working through a new book. he strikes me as someone that secretly loves murder mysteries, and mysteries in general. i'd like to think he gets really into them and really excited when he figures out the mystery before he reaches the end

"fuckin' knew it was the goddamn maid!"

frank also strikes me as a handyman, and i'd like to think he enjoys little projects. maybe he spends part of the afternoon giving his truck a tune up while listening to classic rock in the garage with a few beers (he's a classic rock guy, don't @ me. y'all saw how excited he got about those bruce springsteen tickets) maybe he's finally putting together some new furniture he got, or even building some new furniture bc he can fucking do anything. maybe he's repainting the spare bedroom bc the white walls were boring and frank's secret guilty pleasures are cooking and home makeover shows

in a perfect world, frank has a dog (it's definitely a sweet, beautiful pitbull) so maybe they go on a little walk together on a nice trail or maybe they go to the doggy park so they can play and when they come back they take a lil nap on the couch together bc it's fucking cute and they're sleepy so why the hell not

i'd also like to think that when the evening rolls around, frank goes to socialize bc the thought of him being lonely breaks my heart in ways i can't explain

maybe he goes over to the lieberman's for dinner and helps sarah cook, teaches david how to fix the sink that's broken in their guest bathroom, plays catch with zach out in the backyard, helps leo with a book report she's writing, and passes out with the kids on the couch twenty minutes into a movie they picked out

or maybe he goes out with curtis to a bar to have a few drinks, gets talked into (and drunk enough) to bust some moves out on the dance floor, giggles with curtis as they drunkenly stumble together to the closest twenty-four hour pizza joint, and ends up having a sleepover with him bc his apartment is closer and the pizza and booze made him sleepy

bonus points if curt doesn't make him take the couch and they just share his bed bc they're drunk and also brothers who cares (you're telling me all that time in the military together and there wasn't a "there's only one bed" situation? sorry, I can't suspend reality that much)

extra bonus points if he goes out with matt, karen, and foggy to josie's and is the only one that can keep up with matt in pool

"can't believe y'all let this bastard cheat you like this. this how you treat your friends, red? hustlin' 'em for free drinks? you're the worst goddamn catholic I ever met."

extra extra bonus points if foggy challenges him to a shot contest but then gets so drunk that frank has to carry him home over his shoulder and karen gets several pictures and videos and matt can't stop cackling

extra extra extra bonus points if he's having to carry matt AND foggy home drunk over his shoulder (bc he could) and karen is still being the absolute mvp getting so many pictures and videos while giggling

i just want this man to have a good fucking day that's all, thank you for coming to my ted talk

[ryeriy]

I think he knows

warnings: flirtatious activity

join my taglist

a/n: I had this idea when I was half asleep and wrote it in my notes and so this might be bad but it is what is. Also, I'm so close to 100 of you guys and I'm so happy! Thank you for your support!

mentions: @nowandkei @67-angelofthelordme-67 @huggy-hischier4394 @trevorzegrizz

Mat and I have been friends since sophomore year in high school. I guess you could call us best friends but I wouldn't say that. Me and Mathews relationship is confusing. Sometimes I can't tell if he wants to be just friends or more than that. That's just his personality though. He's a flirtatious person...and very charming...and hot. But that doesn't matter. What matters is I just can't read him and you think by know I would be able to see the signs but I haven't been able to. Maybe it's the fact I've been to worried about the signs to even see them.

We've been friends since sophomore year. Little does he know that I've had a crush on him since senior year of high school. The more time I've spent with Mat, the more time I realized I've like him. I've never told Mat I have liked him for years because I am scared it's going to ruin our relationship. We have to good of a relationship and for too long just to ruin it. Besides if he really liked me he probably would've said something anyways.

Tonight me and Mat are going out to the bar with a few close friends to celebrate our accomplishments. Mat's hockey career, Molly's new job, James's just became a dad, and my graduation of medical school. The four of us occasionally go out to dinner or to get drinks and hang out. The four of us aren't really a friend group but we hang out once and while. Me and Mat are closer to each other and Molly and James are the same way. Mathew was coming to pick me up since I didn't feel like driving. I was sitting on my couch watch reruns of friends on my TV waiting for Mathew to be here. "Can he hurry up." I say outlook to myself. Just as I say that I hear a knock at the door. I walk over to the front door and open it to see him standing there. "You look nice tonight." He says. "You don't look to bad yourself."

Before closing my door I grabbed my purse and keys locking the door behind me as I started to walk down the stairs Mathew held my hand. Weird. He never does that. He even opens and closes his car door for me. Usually when I get a ride from him he never does that. "You're acting weird." I say as he pulls out of my driveway and I can see his face have a wide smirk on it letting out a chuckle. "Am I though?" He said. That made me think. All I think is somehow he found out I like him and is acting all weird on me. Oh God! What if that's exactly what happened?!

Sitting in silence as he drove to the bar where we are going to meet Molly and James. The silence is killing me. Breaking the silence "how's life been treating you." Mathew says. "Same old stuff, still single, still alone, still not rich yet. What about the famous Mathew Barzal, how's life been treating you lately? Any new girls?" I ask back started making conversation. We still had another twenty minutes till we arrived. "Nope, but I've got my eye on one." His face still focusing on the road and not facing me at all. I have my face looking at him as he drives. Makes me think who this mystery girl is. "Tell me more about this mystery girl, Mat." He chuckles to himself. "Wouldn't you want to know." He says to me. "Oh you would do the same thing if it was me!" I exclaimed to him.

As he kept driving I kept wondering about this mystery women and why is he keeping her mystery. Usually he has no problem telling me everything but this time it's just nothing. "Well if you must know, my mystery girl is very pretty, smart, kind, caring, and probably the most amazing person I've ever met." His voice was soft. He really cares about this girl and I can tell based on his voice. "This mystery girl sounds wonderful." I say. I really want to feel happy for him but it's so hard when he likes someone else.

Arriving at the bar we got out of the car and he walked next to me as we walked inside searching for Molly and James. I felt an arm wrap around my waist and it was Mathew's I was sort of acting weird but at the same time this just how he acts. When we walked up to Molly and James his grip grew a but tighter. "Hey you two!" Molly said while she came in for a hug for both of us. After she was done with her greetings he put his hand back around me. "So you two?" James asks us. "Oh no, we're just friends and you know that James." He lets go of my waist and I felt lonely. As an ulternitive he holds me hand. I don't think anything about it.

~~

It was time for us to leave so we saus out goodbyes and we walked out to Mathew's car. His hand around my waist again. We get inside his car and get ready to go back to my place. "What was that for?" I ask him. "What was what?" He says. "You where grabbing on to me, didn't you say there was a mystery girl?" He chuckles when I say that. "Oh please, so you're telling me you didn't like me all of these years and really hated how close you were to me tonight?" I was too stunned to speak. Well now I know he knows that I've liked him. "What about mystery girl?" I tried to change the subject on him. "Are you blind? You're mystery girl. I mean I found out you liked me a year ago and didn't think anything of it until I started thinking about you like that and now your mystery girl to me." He says as he keeps driving and his head is focused on the road.

Oh. My. God.

"Well why didn't you tell me?" I say to him. "Well why didn't you tell me either?" He says back to me. "Touche..." I say while my voice grew softer. "You know I don't know what's going to happen with us but we can sort it out later." He tells me. "Yeah.." I say back to him. We sat in silence the rest of the way home. Before I got out of the car I unbuckled my seat belt and turn my head to face Mathew. He looked back at me and our faces were facing each other. Leaning in closer to me I looked at him then at his lips. We both kept leaning forward until our lips connecting. We kissed softly until we both pulled away. "We'll talk later." I said while getting out of the car and walking towards my house. He waved at me as I walked in and I waved back. Can't wait for the text to come through on my phone tonight.

[stoobfoobnoob]

‘Closed for Remodeling’

Vernon x reader, Mingyu x reader

ANGST! angst! angst!, unrequited love, best friends, university au

Mentions of smoking, drinking, food, y/n is a bit bitter in the beginning

Synopsis: Do you believe in the “right person, wrong time”? Vernon and Y/N have been best friends for as long as they can remember, but what happens when one realizes their feelings too late? 

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This is probably one of the most pathetic things that you ever put yourself through in your 20 years of life. Maybe if you woke yourself up and listened to the countless pieces of advice that your friends have given you, you wouldn't be sitting in front of your best friend and his new girlfriend. 

The song playing in the back, faded as you watched him put his arm around her. You could feel your eyes rolling back into your head as she lays yet another peck on his cheek. 

What does he see in her? You thought to yourself. 

You and Vernon found this restaurant on a random December night when the streets were covered in fairy lights and candy canes. The two of you have been held up in the library studying for hours when he tapped your shoe and convinced you to finally get out of that hell hole. 

He was wearing the same oversized leather jacket that Seungcheol gave him on his birthday that now lies on his girlfriend's lap. 

"I'm genuinely going to kill myself if we keep studying for this goddamn test!" You screamed into the air, seeing your breath in the winter weather. Vernon just laughs at you as you lose your mind. 

He could hear your sniffling and the fact you'd been rubbing your nose for the past five minutes. 

He couldn't remember the last time you guys had a proper meal that didn't consist of caffeine, beef jerky, and peppermint candy that the librarians had around the library. 

You kept rambling on and on about how you wanted to drop out and that you didn't even notice the little restaurant.

He pulled your arm and turned you around, 

"Let's eat." His eyes were glistening in the twinkling lights and his skin looked like it was shimmery. 

You walked into the restaurant and the two of you were instantly hit with the smell of kimchi tofu stew. 

The old lady at the front desk got up from her seat to happily greet the two of you and brought you over to the booth. The restaurant itself was small and had two booths and about 6 other tables and there was only one other person eating inside. It was covered in old family pictures you could only assume were the old lady's family and a tiny little Christmas tree in the corner. It was wilted and dry which you took note of because you told Vernon.

"Are you sure you wanna eat here?" You pouted your lips, judging the restaurant and he just looked at you and laughed 

'We're already here, Y/N. Who knows maybe we'll like it," he shrugged

Vernon never fully judged anything until he tried it, the complete opposite of you. Lo and behold, the old lady made the best food you've ever had. 

The flavors hitting your mouth and filling your very very deprived stomach made you dance in your chair and Vernon just watched you with a little smile. 

"I told you it was gonna be good." he teased you as he took another bite.

When the two of you were sufficiently full the old lady brought over the bill and you went to grab it when Vernon's cold fingers touched yours, 

"I got it," his fingers lingered on yours a little too long.

"Your hands are really cold." You chuckled.

He quickly pulled away and insisted that he pay for dinner. 

It was small things like that that really made you aware of your stupid infatuation with him. 

He insisted on paying for the dinners, the coffees he bought you before class without asking, and the notion of doing things together without talking about it first. Maybe he was just a nice guy and liked treating his friend out. 

---

"Babe, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be back," his girlfriend told him while patting his thigh. 

He nodded his head and watched as she moved across the room.  

You could hear someone shifting next to you, 

"You're really bad at hiding the way you feel," 

Mingyu whispered in your ear, you met him last semester and found out that you ran in the same circle. 

Mingyu was conventionally attractive and had that nice guy reputation, but when your friends decided to have a small get-together a few weeks back your first impression of him was that he was a bit dorky?

"What are you talking about?" you question, eyebrows furrowed together.

He presses a finger in between your tense eyebrows and you automatically relaxed them. 

"That's why. Your facial expression says it all-" 

That action took you aback. 

If Mingyu across the room could see it then Vernon who was sitting right in front of you could too. Right?

"It's the end of finals, we are officially on winter break. Why are you so upset?" Mingyu asked while opening a bottle of soju with a spoon for Dino. 

"I'm not upset" You tried to shrug off his comment, tried to smile and lie it off.

He made the gesture of holding up the soju as if to ask you if you wanted to drink and you shook your head, 

"Y/n I think I know you enough to know when you’re upset." He leaned in looking you in the eyes. 

The two of you had studied a few times together and occasionally got lunch as you both waited for your next class, but you never told him anything personal like that. 

Maybe he's just really observant. 

You open your mouth to say something before Seungkwan pulls him away to talk about some funny incident that happened to them. 

You didn't even notice that Vernon was staring at you.

'What?' you mouthed at him. 

He nudged his head towards Mingyu and gave you a sly smirk before his girlfriend finally came back and got too distracted to talk to you again. 

Minghao who was sitting next to you tapped your shoulder and you hummed in response. 

"I think Mingyu likes you," 

You loved Minghao, he was sweet and a great listener. However, he's always gonna stir the pot when he wants to and today was no exception.

Perks of being the quiet observer. 

You just looked at him like what was he even talking about? 

"It's the way Mingyu keeps looking over here, and I know he's not looking at me." Minghao took a sip of tea looking at you suggestively. 

Mingyu glanced over in your direction every few minutes while Jeonghan and Seungkwan were mercilessly teasing him. 

He saw the way your jaw clenched when Vernon and his girlfriend whispered in each other's ear. 

Taking a step in your direction, Hoshi intervened.

"Oh my god! Y/N this is our song!!" before dragging you out of your seat and into the middle of the restaurant. 

There was an old karaoke machine that the old lady had brought out for Christmas and Hoshi took your hand to put a mic in it, shaking your head at him. 

"No, I am not singing!" Hoshi was yet again the drunkest person there and was not leaving until you had this duet with him. You could hear the others cheer for you and yell your name as the girl's part was coming.

The heat found its way to your cheeks and lifted the mic to your lips, shyly singing the lyrics. You turned around to see that DK was filming Hoshi who was so immersed in the song that he forgot to sing his part. 

Vernon was watching you. He watched you sing for the thousandth time and was still shocked as he was the first time you sang in front of him. 

He remembers when it was just the two of you in his car when this very song came on and you just sang at the top of your lungs while the windows were down. That was the day you both got accepted into the same university. He remembers that day because he couldn't stop thinking about you that same night. 

Vernon glances to see that his girlfriend was on her phone not paying attention to the free entertainment that always made him and his friends laugh so bad it hurt. He doesn't pay too much attention. 

Here it comes, he thinks to himself. The best part of the song- is the bridge. He likes this part because it has a quick build-up and the rhythm just makes his heart jump and the lyrics really suit well with your voice. He only likes it when you sing it. 

The others know it's coming, you know it coming, and it is hands down one of the guys' favorite songs to hear you sing. 

But Vernon's girlfriend was still on her phone. 

Vernon notices that Mingyu got up from his seat, he walked over to where DK was filming Hoshi and Vernon could just see it. The way he was looking at you, it was the same look he gave you in his car that day. 

Everyone quickly moved on to the next song as Woozi and Seungcheol pour Hoshi yet another shot. 

The adrenaline that rushed through your body a few seconds ago finally comes down when you excuse yourself from the table. Opening the old door, the winter wind harshly hits your face. Sitting on the curb, you pulled out the cigarette from your pocket. 

A nasty habit you picked up from Wonwoo about 6 months ago now, when the door opened again. 

"Since when did you start smoking?" the familiar voice asked as he sat next to you. 

You started smoking when he got into a relationship. The sting of smoke in your lungs felt better than the unrequitedness of it all. 

"Oh you know, not that long ago." You shrugged, taking a long drag.

You had sworn to Vernon when you were both 16 that you would never smoke when he confessed to you that he hit his friend's vape in the bathroom sophomore year. 

Going on and on about how smoking is bad for you. 

You hope he doesn't remember that.

Vernon wants to talk to you. Have a conversation like he used to. He wants to tell you that you shouldn't smoke, but he doesn't. He just sits there with you in silence until you finish your cigarette. 

"I think-" 

"I-"

"you go first," He says. 

You stare at him. Looking into his eyes, you feel like your cheeks are going to burn. He's patient with you- always has been. 

You let out a sigh,

I'm in love with you, but it's too late.

"I'm gonna head home." You say before going back in. 

Your head hurts, your heart hurts, and all you wanna do is get past Vernon's girlfriend so you can get your purse and go. 

"Hey, y/n?" she mumbles. 

You wanted to turn around and snap at her, but what did she do wrong?

"Yeah," You tried not to sound mean. 

"I was wondering if you could send me the address to Nonie's favorite bakery?" She smiled. 

Nonie? Nonie? Who the fuck is Nonie? 

A sigh escaped from your mouth before you nodded and agreed. 

"Thank you so much! You're literally a life savor, Y/Nie" she said. 

Who was she to call you by your nickname you thought. She was nice, great even. There was no real reason for you to be this mad at her, but you are. 

"Hey, I'm gonna head out." You told Minghao who gave you a nod which was soon followed by a line of goodbyes and hugs from everyone else. 

"get home safe!" Seungcheol waved, 

"Wait, you're walking home?" Mingyu stood up, everyone looking at the tall man. 

"Yeah," god you wanted to leave. 

You could see Dino and Seungkwan look over at each other as if wondering why he asked. 

"It's late, Y/n and cold let me walk you." 

This makes Vernon's ears perk up. If he wasn't with his girlfriend he would be leaving with you, no questions asked. He would walk you home and make sure you got to your place okay. 

But he couldn't this time.

"What no! It's fine it's like 15 minutes from here." You assured him, but Jeonghan had to chime in too. 

"Yeah, let Mingyu walk you. You've had a couple of drinks anyway." 

Rather than arguing, you reluctantly agreed for him to walk you. 

It was the middle of winter and the sun had set hours ago, so having some company was actually not a bad idea. 

"Do you wanna talk about it? The thing that was bothering you earlier?" He remembered. 

"How observant of you." You sarcastically replied. 

"I'm just a nice person, but if you don't want to it's fine." His pace was slow and his voice felt genuine. 

He was much taller than you expected now that you were walking next to him, and the scent of his cologne was seeping through his sweater. 

Sandalwood and violets. 

The walk wasn't awkward as you would've thought. Walking on the side closest to the road, you could feel Mingyu's hand on your shoulder moving you inside of the sidewalk. 

The small gesture makes you feel some type of way. 

"I didn't know you could sing like that." The comment made you laugh, it made it sound like it was something you were serious about.

"What? You're good, Y/Nie!" He nudged you with his arm,

"I'm only good when I've had a few shots." You joke, looking at the street ahead of you.

There was a moment of silence, but it wasn't awkward. It felt nice just being in each other's presence.

Mingyu suddenly stopped in his tracks to look at you,

"I hope whatever it was that was bothering you... doesn't anymore." There was sincerity in the way he spoke, it sounded like something straight out of a romance movie. You couldn’t help but laugh at the corny vibe it gave off. 

“I appreciate it Mingyu, but I’m fine.” You were getting tired of having to prove to everyone that you were okay. 

----

That night the images of Vernon being so sweet to his girlfriend plagued your thoughts as you tried to sleep. It didn't help that your old fridge was making that buzzing noise and no amount of music could drown it out when your phone started to blow up. 

Seungkwan was sending videos and pictures from dinner, you swiped through the pictures to see Vernon and his girlfriend holding hands and you groan at how much you wished that it was you. 

The other pictures were of the guys making little kissy faces at each other when a picture of you and Mingyu popped up. 

The picture was of you smiling and Mingyu looking at you,

You remember that you were looking in Hoshi's direction because he was doing something insanely stupid while Mingyu looked at you. 

Little did you know that Vernon was staring at the exact same photo. 

Why did it bother him so much? He wondered. His girlfriend was in his bathroom getting ready to sleep in his bed and yet here he was getting all bothered about another man sitting next to his best friend. 

Vernon convinced himself that it was just him being a good, concerned best friend, but was that really the reason?

Looking at you and Mingyu made him scroll through his own camera roll, finding old photos from a few years back where the two of you made silly faces, or the two of you at the prom, and the ones from graduation. He smiled endlessly reminiscing back to when the two of you were in high school. 

Until he found a video he secretly took of you.

It was two years ago and you slept over at his place, the video was of you in the kitchen the next morning singing that song. You had just woken up, so your hair was a mess and you were wearing his shirt. 

He hates to admit it but he's fallen asleep to that video too many times he could count. Your voice just made him feel safe enough to sleep too. 

Vernon's girlfriend makes her way to the bed and he quickly exits from his camera roll. 

He felt like texting you. 

He doesn't. 

So instead, he listens to you sing in secret.

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Hiiii! I am new to writing on Tumblr, but I have been on the app for a while. This is only the first part of this story! 

[yanderes-galore]

A1 vampire Albert Wesker or Sergei Vladimir?

I feel like Wesker works. We're doing vampires again ^^;

Prompt Found Here

Yandere! Vampire! Albert Wesker Prompt A-1

(Halloween Event - Hunt)

Pairing: Romantic

A-1: "I want to know how you'll taste between my teeth."

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Stalking, Hunting, Vampires, Blood, Blood drinking, Descriptions of eating people, Threats of breaking bones/threats in general, Sadism, Implied kidnapping/death, Deception, Violence, Choking in one part.

"You must be aware I'm stronger than you, yes?"

A voice taunts you, the mouth who uttered it licks their fangs hungrily. Ghoulish eyes track their prey through tinted sunglasses as you run. Many of his prey ran like this, it was a hunt like all the rest.

Every movement he made towards you was calculated. Taunting you while he stalked you in the night. He plays the act of human well, yet his movements while hunting were far from human.

"I could break each of your bones like a twig. What's stopping me from squeezing your ribcage until your organs give out?"

The sound of your ragged breath gave away your position. Just when you thought you were safe, that familiar trenchcoat would come into view. Then you're right back to square one again.

"Oh to drain your blood into a bucket to savour the taste sounds delightful."

He laughs in the darkness, continuing his brisk pace.

"Your fear will only make my dinner taste better."

He turns a corner just in time to see you run another one. He grins, crossing his arms while walking. He didn't have to try too hard for this.

"Maybe I'll even play around with you for a bit. Get you all worked up to sweeten the taste of you... the choice can be yours."

He's fast, toying with you. He keeps a certain distance away from you to give you the illusion of escape. When in reality, he could catch you right then and there.

"Will you really make me wait like this? You're so cute... although you should know you're teasing a hungry beast."

He's drooling at the mouth, desperate for his next meal. He loves playing with you, yet it only makes him hungrier.

"I want to know how you'll taste between my teeth."

The vampire sighs, closing the distance ever so slightly. He was getting impatient. He's been watching you for a long time now. His mouth prepares itself to catch you and sink into your neck, fantasizing about how you'd taste.

It would be so wonderful if he littered your weaker body in bites, your blood flowing into his mouth and blessing him with a new taste. A bitter taste of fear... but a sweet taste of pleasure. Such a concoction is addictive to vampires.

He may keep you around if you're good enough to his tastes. If you manage to entertain him on a game of chase... and charm his taste buds, you've won a place beside him. Many pets have come before you...

He wants you to prove you deserve to join their ranks.

"If you come to me now, dear... I promise I'll give you luxury."

His words are coated in a sugary trap. Come too close to taste it... and you'll be either hooked or dead. Wesker, the name he went by, was a monster that cloaks himself in the night. Would he really be merciful to prey like you?

He didn't want to let you go after he drank from you. He may not even give you luxury. However, because you have something he craves, he's willing to do every lie in the book to coax you.

He treats you like a frightened animal once he catches you, dashing towards you with inhuman speed before picking you up by your neck. You choke on his grip and squeal when he pushes you against the wall. Those orange eyes are those of a predator.

A predator who's rather pleased he caught his prey.

"Enough games. Look at me as I do this..."

He grins, opening his mouth just enough to reveal his fangs. Sharp and ready to sink into your flesh like candy....

"It'll be over soon. As I find myself growing fond of you, I'll make it quick."

Yet another lie tumbles from the vampire's lips. He plans to draw out this session with you. Wesker wishes to savour your taste like fine wine...

You stand no chance against him.

[missvelvetsstuff]

Low Expectations

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Chapter 4

Warning: swearing, angst & fluff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Y/N ran into Terri Sunday night, Terri started to ask about her date but stopped when she saw her face blotchy and eyes red from crying.

Terri bristled "What did he do? I swear I'll kill him."

Y/N shook her head "It was me. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes but after I got home my brain started and I freaked. Spoke to him earlier and told him I like him and want to keep seeing him but I'm not ready to commit.

Terri, he sounded so sad and I feel awful. I've never been treated so well and I'm afraid he's too good to be true. I fucked it up all by myself" she broke into tears. "I tried to call him but it went straight to voicemail."

Terri hugged her "Oh, honey what am I going to do with you? You have to stop letting your mind run away with you like that. You are just as deserving of love as anyone else, more than some. Send him a text telling him you're sorry for freaking out and would like to talk to him when he's up for it. And take a mental health day tomorrow, we'll eat junk and watch sappy movies. I'll make you those on the rocks margaritas like your mom taught me"

"I miss her so much. I still can't believe she died and I wasn't here to take care of her."

Terri rubbed her back. "I know, I know but you still have me." She snickered "I could call aunt Kathy if you want"

Y/N pulled away and gave Terri a dirty look "Don't even joke about that. She thinks the only way to mend a broken heart is to get laid by at least a dozen people. I'm just not like that. Besides she's in Florida and I don't want to give her any excuses to come up here.

The next afternoon, Bucky was guzzling tequila for the second day in a row, wishing he knew how to get in touch with Thor when his doorbell rang. He grumbled as he got up and answered it.

"Sam, what are you doing here? I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone." He left the door open and sat back on the floor.

Sam looked around "Dude! What is that smell? How much have you had to drink?"

"Not enough, I'm still sober"

Sam shook his head "I'm here to check on you because you were supposed to pick me up from the airport. And why the Hell are you trying to get drunk? Wasn't your big date the other night." Sam paused

"Shit, was it bad? What happened?"

Bucky sighed "I'm sorry, I forgot. The date was perfect, at least I thought it was. She said she would be my girl and we had a really good time."

Sam nodded "Ok that all sounds good so what's the problem?"

Bucky teared up a little "I called her yesterday afternoon, just to see how she was and she changed her mind."

Sam looked confused "What do you mean she changed her mind?"

"She said she isn't ready for a commitment yet. Insisted it was her, not me, and that she still likes me and wants to see me but. Fuck! I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong. I thought it went really well. I thought she might be my person."

Sam thought for a minute "Didn't you say she has self esteem issues? Because of guys she's dated and because Terri always gets all the attention when they go out, right? Maybe she's like you and got caught up in her own head. Like thinking it's all too good to be true, you know."

Bucky nodded "I mean yeah but I tried to be perfect. Do and say all the right things"

"Exactly. You're this good looking, superhero with greatest generation manners. For someone who has been treated badly or taken for granted that would seem too good. Maybe give her a couple of days and call her, see if she wants to go out again."

"She tried to call me last night but I didn't answer. I want to talk to her but I'm scared." Bucky shook his head "What if she says no and tells me to leave her alone?"

Sam chuckled "From what you've told me I doubt it but if she did then at least you would know. Come on, take a shower and I'll buy you dinner."

"Thanks Sam but I'm not up for going out"

"We don't have to go anywhere, I can order in but I'm not staying here unless you wash your ass. You reek" Sam held his nose for emphasis.

"Fine. I'm not really hungry but we can hang out for awhile. Lemme go shower." Bucky said despondently

Meanwhile Terri and Y/N were half drunk, eating chocolate like it had divine healing properties and laughing at A Fish Called Wanda.

"What would I do without Monty Python and everyone involved?" Y/N asked "Those guys always make me laugh."

Terri pouted "Yeah, I still can't get into British humor but this movie is pretty funny. Kevin Kline is so perfect in this.'Asshole!!'"

Y/N looked at her with a gleam in her eye. "Let's see if BBC America has some Benny Hill when this is over."

Terri shook her head "Oh come on. Let's watch The Notebook next"

"No, no, no. I refuse to watch such emotionally manipulative tripe."

Terri scowled at her "How do you know its tripe if you've never seen it? It's really good. And you like Beaches, it's pretty manipulative."

"Not the same. It's about best friends not pining after some guy. Besides I saw Beaches with my mom before I was old enough to know better. Plus, Bette Midler is a BadAss and one of my heroes. She gives zero fucks about what others think of her. Like Pink. I wish I could be like that."

Terri rolled her eyes "Fine but no Benny Hill, he was just a dog. How about the Mummy movies? Brendan Frasier is always fun to watch."

Y/N thought for a minute "This compromise is acceptable to me as long as you don't want to watch the last one where they recast Evy. That lady had no chemistry with Brendan at all.

Do you think I should send Bucky another text? He never responded to the one I sent last night or when I tried to call him. Maybe that's his answer and I blew it before it even really started. Maybe I'm going to be alone forever. Maybe-"

Terri cut her off "Didn't I tell you we aren't doing that? I said give him a couple of days. It's been one day. I'm sure with his history he's had challenges dating in the future. Remember you told me he was sure you would walk away because he was the Winter Soldier? He might be struggling too and not ready to talk.

Honestly, the more I think about it the more I'm convinced that you two are meant to be. He'll call, by the end of the week. Just you wait."

By Thursday Bucky and Y/N were both antsy waiting to hear from the other. Bucky had helped Sam on a mission in Texas, some militia with weapons they definitely shouldn't have been able to get a hold of, for a couple of days but got home around dinner time. Working had helped keep his mind off of Y/N but coming home to his empty apartment brought it all back. He checked his phone and read her last message again. Fuck it he thought, I'll just call her.

Terri and Y/N were eating dinner when her phone rang. She saw it was Bucky and grinned, then froze. "It's James. What do I say to him?"

Terri looked at her "Maybe start with Hi. Before he gives up, don't just stare at the phone"

Y/N dropped her phone trying to answer and it went to voicemail before she could answer it "Jesus, I'm shaking too much. I can't do this, Terri."

"Nope, you absolutely can. Call him back!" Terri insisted

"What if he's calling to tell me he changed his mind? What if he thinks I'm too much?"

"No! You're doing it again. Call. Him. Back. Right now. I'll give you some privacy but I better hear you talking to him or I'll have to do something drastic." Terri got up and went to her room

Y/N took a drink, tried to calm her breathing and called. She almost started crying when it went to voicemail and jumped when it started ringing again.

"Hello? James are you there?"

"Hey, Y/N. How are you?"

She tried to answer but couldn't make any sound come out. What finally came out was a squeak and then a sob. She still couldn't form words.

"Y/N? Are you ok? Are you still there? You're scaring me, doll. Please say something" Bucky pleaded.

She finally spit out "I'm sorry, I don't mean to get so emotional. I was worried when I didn't hear from you. I'm sorry about what I said. Sometimes I get caught up in my head and act stupid. I'm kind of a mess."

Bucky smiled "It's ok. I totally understand, that's a bad habit of mine too. I just got home from a thing with Sam, and I was away the last couple of days. How is your week going?"

She tried to calm her breathing "Pretty unexciting. Terri and I hung out and watched movies on Monday and the rest has been work.

Would you like to-"

"Do you want to-"

They both laughed "You first, doll."

"I was wondering if you wanted to get together this weekend."

Bucky laughed "That's what I was going to ask."

"I'll take that as a yes" she smiled

"Definitely a yes. When are you available?"

She thought for a moment "I dont have anything planned this weekend besides the usual housework and errands. Terri is going out of town so, you could come over here for dinner on Saturday. I'm not a great cook but make a mean spaghetti. And I can bake up a storm. I'll make my grandma's pound cake."

Bucky smiled "That sounds wonderful. What time should I be there?"

"Late afternoon? Early evening? Anytime after 3pm should be fine. I should be able to get my housework done and go to the store before that."

@lokisasgardianvampirequeen

"Then its a date. I'll see you Saturday doll."

Chapter 5

[animeweebart]

Tattoo artist Kirishima x coffee barista Bakugou Part 4 New Year new me

!warning!-this part will contain usage of alcohol if you do not feel comfortable reading this part you may skip to part 5

Bakugou’s pov

It was New Year’s Eve and I was going to Eijiro's house for the first time. I hope there isn’t going to be any fighting… maybe they will be nice because I’m going to be there. My mom pulled up to his house, flashbacks to when I drove Eijiro here ran in my head. Please don’t have people yelling…

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at noon. Treat his parents with respect even though they have hurt him, and please no hanky panky.”

“I’ll try and please don’t say hanky panky” 

I said stepping out of the car. She said goodbye and I walked to the door. Don’t kill anyone. I knocked on the door and Eijiro answered with Miracle in his arm. Well, I don’t see any cuts or bruises on them so that’s good. He smiled at the sight of me kissing me on the cheek and pulled me inside. His house was nicer than the outside.

“Mom Kat just arrived. Come say hello” 

He yelled as a woman walked up to us. She had black hair and red eyes, she looked around my mom’s age.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Kai, Eijiros mother.” She said shaking my hand 

“Nice to meet you too…” I pulled my hand away and looked at Eijiro mouthing. Do they know? He nodded and I looked back at his mom “I’m Eijiro's boyfriend”

“We all know, he talks about you all the time” She smiled as Eijiro's face turned red 

I giggled at the sight of his face matching the color of his hair.

“Thank you for the coloring book,” Miracle said as Eijiro put her down.

I heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. I looked towards where the sound was coming from and saw a man with dirty blonde hair and red eyes. He didn’t look very happy.

“Are you Katsuki Bakugou?” He said walking closer to me

“Y-Yeah I am” There was some fear in my voice

I noticed that Eijiro had pulled Miracle back as if he was protecting her from his dad. Now I knew who was hurting them.

“Why not we go sit down at the table while I finish making dinner?” Kai said as she walked toward the kitchen 

“I can help if you’d like”

I followed her in the kitchen. She accepted my offer to help with dinner. While cooking Eijiro came up behind me wrapping his arms around me, putting his head on my shoulder.

“Are you guys almost done? We’re hungry” Eijiro groaned 

“Be patient Eji, I can’t make things happen right when you want them to. Go back to the table and save me a seat next to you” I said as I carefully pushed him away making sure not to burn myself 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After we finished making dinner we brought it out and set it on the table. Chicken, salad, and mashed potato. I sat down next to Eijiro with Miracle on my other side. I felt Eijiro grab my hand. Did something happen when I was in the kitchen? Soon we began to eat.

“How did you guys meet? Where do you work? Do you live near here?”

I heard his dad start asking me questions. I looked up at him as I swallowed my food.

“We met at the coffee shop I work at. I don’t live near here. The drive to my house is a 15-minute drive. I live closer to U.A.” I answered wanting to make a good first impression.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was 11:55, me and Eijiro had a few drinks but we weren’t drunk, just a little tipsy. We were watching a movie together with Miracle in between us coloring in the book I got her.

“I’m glad I’m not going to be alone this year,” Eijiro said as he kissed my cheek.

“Eji stop it, you’ll get your kiss at midnight,” I said, pushing his face away.

“I can’t wait until midnight, I want kiss now”

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his lap putting his head on my shoulder.

“Eij why are you like this?”

I accepted my fate knowing that he wasn’t going to let go of me. As the year ended and the new one began I felt his lips press against mine. He was a needy little boy who wanted to get love and I didn’t mind that about him, because I wanted the same. As he pulled away I knew I was blushing when he said…

“Your face is as red as my hair.” He laughed 

“Shut up! I didn’t know what time it was so I didn’t expect you to kiss me.”

He laughed and as the night continued he continued to shower me with kisses.

[mental-health-advice]

Tag: 🌌🌟☔️

Heyhoo! First of all, thank you for all that you do!

My question is (tw: ) childhood trauma related. I'd love to see an external perspective on it.

(Update: this turned into a trauma vent, please, if any of you doesn't feel comfortable to read it, do not. I'd rather have it unanswered.)

Two of my great friends were both shook to hear when I explained to them (briefly, without details) how a few things were, how my Dad could sometimes be aggressive and why. But recently my doubts arose, and I feel like I have fooled myself.

TW: childhood abuse, neglect, suicide attempt mention, illness mention, cancer, death

My Dad was terribly critical and self-critical - you could say, self-hating - he treated both us and himself badly. His family was nothing ideal either; his father didn't care much for him (or at least he couldn't express it) (he was likely aggressive with them at times), the parents simply left the kids to live with their irascible grandma most of the time, so they will mean no trouble around their house. Throughout his life, he was constantly criticized for and forced to repress every emotion he had for the sake of practicality and "rationality." (Even though he used to be a deep-feeling, imaginative, idealistic child and I know deep at heart he still was.) As he grew up and got married, so he didn't have to face his pain and admit his parents wrongdoings, he adopted his father's ideology and declared that all that was done to him was fair and righteous and should be done similarly. He grew to hate his own emotions and was triggered by the emotions of others. The only thing he allowed himself to feel was "justified" (and desperate) anger, towards anything, but his parents. (Although he was rarely angry at strangers.) He decided that the only way he can be worthy is if he accomplishes something great, but his own perfectionism never let him. A few months ago he died in the same type of cancer his father had - he wasn't much older than 50.

I loved him dearly and I am still crying inside for the life he had never had. I was probably the closest with him, the translator and advocate between my Mom and Dad, although my Mom most of the time took it as "allying with the enemy." My Dad could be cruel to my Mom.

My Mom also came from an abusive household, her parents got divorced, her father had a drinking problem, her brother always mocked her, she was most of the time forbiden to leave the house, later her mom tried to make her stay by refusing to buy her any usable clothes. One time her mother attempted suicide and she saved her life. The sweet little girl who loved and kept hugging everyone became depressed by the age of 3.

My Dad's family only treated her worse than their son. She became often and chronically ill.

[Tragedy - I'm serious.]

And there come I, the oldest daughter. Slowly I understood that it was traumatic. That it was the reason for memory loss, nightmares, and self-destructive behavior. But recently I started to doubt, that it really was "bad". Maybe I was overreacting! And also, apparently, I was a heartless kid?? Because according to Mom I didn't have much empathy and didn't seek hugs. [I have an explanation for the hugs...]

Every since I was small, my Mom vented to me. She was often very frustrated and depressed, and often sick. My Dad was working (at the time and at home) and needed space so he sent us down to the playground. First, when I was a baby, with my Mom. Later with my little brother. It was a soulless, small, gray playground. Then two other every time we moved.

I was a reckless child, but I still can't remember nor imagine (neither did I understand it back then) why I got so many creative punishments. Even if they didn't actually fulfill their threats, I was threatened that I would stand in the corner for days, from morning (they'll wake me up!) to bed time, and if I opposed, I might not get dinner/food either. (I did stand in the corner, but not for that long - mercy) For a while I was banned from the few rooms we had in our flat and sat on the floor in the hallway. I was even forbidden from playing with the shoes. (What did I commit?? Who did I set on fire?? For reference: I was 4-6) I was forbidden from playing. One time I wanted to run away from home in a quarrel, (I was ~8) packed stuff in a small box and told Mom that I'm leaving, to which she replied that "okay, you can leave, but you'll have to leave here everything that we gave you." I angrily left the box (it was a tiny box) on the floor and took my shoes. "No-no, even your clothes." "None?!" "None." That was it.

Every single one of our flats was chaotic, complete disorder, either everything, everywhere or nothing nowhere. I remember once (age 5) Dad asked me to clean the room and so I put away all the toys in boxes in the closet (that's what it's called?) - he then came and poured out each of them onto the floor in a big pile again and said that we are going to sort them out all by type. He did this several times throughout my childhood, he always ordered us to tidy up then came and found mistakes in everything we do. He very literally criticized/corrected everything we did if he was in the room. When I made a surprise breakfast for the family, he changed everything on the table and me and my brother cried about it (Mom didn't even see it yet!) he gave us a cold shower. When he was angry, we hid from him under the bed and desk, or the bathroom. He didn't like that my little brother reminded him of himself, and I always tried to protect him. I was his "favorite" (my brother my Mom's) so when he got punished, I suffered from "survivors' guilt." When they argued my ears were red from pressing my hands so tight to cover them. He of course spanked us or slapped us quite a lot. (As I remember) (Mom did much more rarely.) Mom doesn't remember most of it. We (he) had debt, even Mom didn't know, and so there was no hot water, or heating in the flat from one point. We were forbidden to open the windows because then the cold'd come in. The air wasn't too fresh, and it was dark. We only ate bread and a cheap sort of sliced meet for a good while. It was a danger that "the government/the bank" would come at any time and take our furnitures. When they came, we hid our toys, when they left, I remember Dad complimenting how nicely we tidied up, "it should always look like this!"

When I was 6, I told myself a bedtime story in which I got into a hospital with a not-so-painful illness and lived there and been taken care of. I kept drawing comics in which a 4 years old little girl got lost in a forest (her Mom sort of left her) and lived there alone. It was my dream to get lost in a forest. In one "episode" the little girl (8 at the time) helped a mama bear out of a trap, healed, dressed, fed her and led her back to her cubs. But at home the papa bear was spanking all the 10 of them, because he was sleeping, the cave was too small, and when they tried to get out, one of them stepped on his tail/ear. I also kept drawing (one after the other, dozens) a comic about "the good kid" and "the bad kid," the bad kid was reckless, messy, (I'd rather not go into detail...but he wasn't well groomed... and it didn't even occur to me that it'd be the parents responsibility) he always misbehaved, cursed, and drew on the desk, whereas "the good kid" was... good. He/she was clean, neat and tidy, had his/her own little room, and clothes he/she liked, (in some versions they were both boys, in some both girls, in some, varied) the parents loved her, took care of her, she got food that she liked, etc. In one version, the two were brothers, and the "Bad kid" (aged 8!) was taken to a young offender institution. He didn't hurt anyone.

In first grade a years older classmate of mine (his father was a criminal, he failed several times) got authority by an older teacher to do whatever he pleases as her "little helper" every afternoon - he smashed those who behaved and stayed silent to the wall and gave candy to his friends. Also, in first/second grade I repeatedly witnessed COCSA.

Thank you for listening, I had doubts that none of this even was bad and I just overreacted, but written down it seems bad enough. (Thoughts are yet welcome!)

I went trought great healing in the last two years as I turned 18 - now I have acces to all the resources and possibilities that weren't available to me as a child. I'm free. I have friends and I am in college. My Mom and my Brother, and even Dad's Sister's family - we are all Healing! It's like the spring! It was just so hard to believe! *weeps* I am free.

Thank you for listening!

If the asks seems too long please feel free to answer in a new post! (Maybe it would be better because of all the details... I'll find it by the tag "🌌🌟☔️" anyways :)

Hey there,

Unfortunately we are unable to answer an Ask that is over 700 words. The reason for this is that we find it incredibly hard to read through the whole Ask if it is any longer as we find it really overwhelming.

If you could please shorten your Ask that would be great, or else unfortunately it will not be answered.

I hope that you can understand this and I hope that you are going well!

I'm thinking of you!

Take care,

Lauren

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

may 28, 2021 2:00 p.m. newcrest counseling center

(tw for suicide mention)

[grant] do you mind if i rant? because, um, my fiancee cheated on me. i'm definitely going to rant.

[margot] go ahead!

[grant] she cheated and then i broke up with her. i had to. i could barely find the strength to do it but i had to. i can’t stay with someone i don’t trust.

[grant] and i–um, it’s really messing with me. i don’t know if i have ever been so angry in my entire life. like i do not get angry. i don’t. it takes a lot for me to feel that way. the last time i was this mad, it was...no, i'm not going there. but i am furious right now. also really depressed and anxious and afraid of her but that’s kind of fading by now and all i feel is that rage just, like, simmering inside.

[grant] and that’s not even it! i don’t know why she did it. she didn’t explain it to me. maybe it’s not necessary, like i guess she doesn’t owe me that, but why? why cheat on me? it’d be nice to have an explanation! i thought…

[grant] i really thought things were okay with us. she seemed happy. at least i thought she was. she told me she was. i was definitely happy. i mean, we bought a house together, we had all these plans for the future with the house and our wedding, and...it’s just...it’s over.

[grant] i mean it. i thought things were okay, nothing gave me mixed signals...but then she comes to me two weeks ago and tells me she cheated on me with her best friend–who, by the way, i met for the first time in march. her friends came to visit from finland and she was telling me how excited she was for me to meet them and that they wanted to meet this guy she was so in love with. and then she FUCKED one of them behind my back and apparently got pregnant. i had dinner with this guy and we were nice to each other! how are you going to sit at a table with me and then fuck my fiancee? and then she waited months to tell me about this, like waited until she couldn’t hide it anymore. i feel for her, i do, but i don’t know, honesty would be nice!

[grant] and there’s more. there’s all the stupid conversations we’ve had since then. there’s all the thoughts i have. i can’t stop thinking about this, like it’s infesting me. i've totally temporarily ruined my life over it. i relapsed, was binge drinking and stealing benadryl from her to either sleep or overdose and i was, i think, feeling suicidal again. i've had regular PTSD flashbacks to my childhood. i've isolated myself and mostly stopped talking to my family and friends since i saw them last week. and then the stress has made my chronic illness so much worse. even though i stopped a lot of this, i still feel like reset all the progress i've ever made with myself over this one thing.

[grant] but how could i not, like, self-destruct over this? the person i wanted to marry…

[grant] i love her with every fiber of my being and trusted her with my entire heart and i wanted to be her husband more than anything...

[grant] but she betrayed me, hated me when i got upset with her, and basically gaslit me. though she’s never been like that. sometimes she’s a little mean but she’s never...no, she’s never treated me that way. not really.

[grant] and i don’t know what i did. i must have done something for her to betray me. i keep trying to figure it out. either last year was too much or i was doing something wrong or not a good enough partner...or...

[grant] i don’t understand. i don’t know what i did wrong.