#i always go to post this when i dont have much to say... rats. ill probably edit the tags as always

[slavhew]

shortly after this john misses his flipflop and lands with his heel straight on the scorching tarmac

[balrogballs]

I’m curious how you “plan” your fics in your notes! If it’s okay with you to share your secrets ofc… I always face the trouble of wanting to write a story where “nothing happens” and its more an exploration of ones character. But then i never know when to start? I always feel like stakes need to be involved in order for me to write 😖

Of course, perfectly happy to share!

So sorry it took me a day or so to get to this, I was travelling and wanted to answer properly haha. Below the cut!

Just a note though this is just my chaotic little process and is by no means particularly expert/useful - I do put in quite a bit of work into them but I defo don’t take myself too seriously so this could fully just be me rambling! Also I am still in my cold tent hence forgive typos!

Have also attached some examples of my plan, from The Sword Tree oneshot but ofc no need to read that, its just an overview of the process :)

With the below re, planning, this applies to anything that isn’t in my Feral Children series - that series is a bit more loosely planned in that I centre them all around family/parenthood so its a bit more fun. I like to balance posting both kind of fics, and I’d say Cast in Stone would be the sole story where it’s both.

Normally I like to think of a few themes first, normally one or two for each, and theyre quite basic/expansive. In False Spring it’s an eldritch manifestation of sea longing as chronic illness in Elrond, and then in Rats of Valinor, the spiritual sequel, it’s how said illness isn’t ‘cured’ in Valinor, with a side of diasporic ‘reverse’ longing. Then I write, normally by hand bc I’m a dweeb, a general thematic outline of what I’d like the story to convey. Here’s an example that I’ve shared before from the Sword Tree.

Since with most of these stories, nothing very much ‘happens’ in terms of story beats, eg. climatic point of Rats is literally Elrond seeing a rat, the one for Sword Tree is Maedhros chopping down a tree, the “drive” is mostly emotional rather than action based. So I plan out the emotional arc, and then decide the best ways to convey each aspect of it. I don’t really write this out, but have a vague idea in my head.

However, and this doesn’t really apply to the lighter feral children stories at all as I dont plan those, I do spend a bit of time on the prose and symbols/elements for each aspect before I write the story itself — this is me being unimaginative actually, as I’m writing in a very similar style and process to my novel writing, where again, the prose matters more than the narrative arc. I actually find it a lot harder to write long plot driven stories, and hope to challenge myself on this front in the future.

But yes, here, I talk to myself a bit on Google Docs, think of interesting ways to say what I want to say, tighten some important bits of prose before I actually put it all together - here’s an example, again from The Sword Tree just to keep it consistent!

And then I just write it! Most of the dialogue, and definitely all of the humour/random observations/inserts are written as I go, and I’d say my general narratorial style is conducive to this as for the most part it follows a somewhat ‘storyteller’ style, which works well with said random inserts or fourth wall breaks so to speak - I actually very much played this up with Cast in Stone for narrative/plot reasons, as anyone who’s read it would know haha. I will say though, said storytelling style works nicely with Tolkien due to how the original books are written, and is probably why I’m so compelled to and enjoy writing for this fandom, but it’s not read too well when I wrote for, say, Naruto haha.

Anyway hope thats helpful and that I havent been just chatting out of my arse for such a long time! Sorry for the lateness as well, I wanted to answer properly and just really didn’t want to be the person that says “oh haha i just write xoxo” because wayyy too many people in litfic say stuff like that lmao

I also wanted to say this is by no means expert advice or even that this is very good advice even - it’s just what works for me!

[amethystfairy1]

Man its been so long since ive commented on a fic, but damn. At first, i mostly read the fh and scarian TTSBC fics but ive honestly gotten so damn invested in all the characters and their storylines.

Ive never been interested in treebark as a ship before, and honestly this fic (and the others in this series) truly made me reconsider. i still dont think ill go out looking for more treebark fics, but the ones you post are an exception. honest to god, yours is the only series that has gotten me really invested in naturewives, soupgroup, treebark, zedango, papa pix' & his lil fam, and doc/etho. if that doesnt say something about the writing quality of your work, i dont know what does.

i love your writing and your series. youre doing super great my guy, and i hope you remember that next time you feel down about your work<3

and a question, aside from ren and lizzie (and the birb trio and bdubs lol), do any of the other people in the "undercity hooligans" friend circle actually have parents/family? or are most of them orphans too? is there an undercity orphanage where all the funky lil creatures go? if not, maybe doc n etho should get on that ;) sounds like a... "fun" retirement job for the compulsive adopters to have when they find people to take their places(*ehem* tango and fwhip *ehem*) in a few more decades or so, of course haha

Thank you thank you!!! 💖

I'm so glad I've gotten you invested into all the other little ships and family units running around! I am so honored you think my writing is worthy of such high praise!

The rest of the 'undercity hooligan' friend group, huh? They're a mixed bag, a lot of them do have parents/families, some of them are raised within a clan system that's unique to the under-city or their subspecies, we will get into their individual upbringings as we get to know them all better and worldbuild out the undercity!

As far as the orphanage thing, there is still the wardship program through the undercity lab! Except now that it's under Doc's leadership, it's actually doing what it should've always been doing, which is taking in/supporting/educating abandoned/orphaned kids...that doesn't mean there aren't still a lot of gutter rats, and the labs can't support them all or even manage to round all of them up...it's still pretty rough. As we keep saying, the undercity has claws, and just because the labs are under better leadership doesn't mean everything has changed. 😓

I think Tango is little too busy spontaneously combusting over his new texting buddy Zedaph to consider adaption at this point. Fwhip is still a loose cannon working for the mafia so who knows what he's thinking 😆

Thanks so much for your kind words and for coming by!

[uncloseted]

i related to effy an unhealthy amount when i was only 13 when i first watched it, but at the time i wasnt doing drugs, homewrecking, doing anything that young lol. however i was extremely mentally ill but undiagnosed, and so confused but i found solace in effys character because of how similar i felt to her. flashforward to being 20 now and im a nic addict/borderline drug and alcohol addict that forgets to take my prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotics. i cant tell you how many events of effys life have mirrored mine now 7 years later, both the pretty but mostly the ugly. it all feels like a joke to me, and the thing is of course it wasnt effy the fictional character that did this to me, it was the fact that i was genetically and epically set up to do this to me for as long as i existed and i saw myself in her too young. everyone ive ever met and started to befriend has fallen in love with me, has found me beautiful, and then seen my flaws and hated me even if they didnt tell me to my face. ive been a horrible friend and partner and im flighty and unreliable and destructive. i never saw effy, or a person like effy, find a happy ending and im afraid even when im at my manic highs i will never find a lasting happiness and will always accidentally self sabotage until i die. what im trying to ask is, how can i save me? i know its dumb to ask a random tumblr user but ive been following this blog since i was 13-14 and since you know effy through and through, you might know a little about me. its a long shot. (i’d also like to say this isnt a cry for help and im safe/not actively suicidal so i dont want you to feel like theres any pressure like that, but i did use this ask box as a free therapy session.)

I'm a bit biased, but I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a random Tumblr user at all. I'm happy to be a free therapy session when you need one, and I'm really touched that you've trusted me with your thoughts and feelings for so long. Hopefully I've been some help over the years 😆

Coping with mental illness can be really, really hard, but the good news is that with the right tools and support system, you can absolutely recover. It sounds like you already have a psychiatrist in your life, which is a great start. If you've having trouble remembering to take your medication, it might help to set calendar reminders on your phone, set up text prompts to remind you to take your pills, to link taking your pills with something else you do every day (like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast), or to reward yourself for taking your medication (for example, putting a piece of candy in your pill box that you can eat after taking your pill).

If you don't have one already, a therapist might also be a good idea. It can take a while to find the right therapist for you, so schedule a few appointments and see which therapist you "click" with. A therapist can help you work through any reluctance you might have towards taking you medications, as well as helping you come up with day to day strategies that help you achieve your goals and helping you work through the beliefs that you hold about yourself and the world that may be holding you back.

Moving on to talking about addiction for a bit. I strongly believe that addiction doesn't come from some type of inherent lack of willpower or moral failing, or even really the drug itself. It's the need to escape reality. And that's actually supported by scientific literature; most famously, the Rat Park experiment by Bruce K Alexander. Practically, we've seen that same thing in the aftermath of Portugal's decision to decriminalize all drugs. They took the money they were using to keep drug users in prison, and instead invested that money into reconnecting people who struggle with addiction to society. Their goal was to make sure that every person who struggles with addiction has a reason to get up in the morning and has a support system within the wider society. And it actually worked- injection drug use is down 50%, overdoses and HIV infections have massively decreased, and rates of addiction decreased as well. It's much easier to quit when you have something motivating you to keep going.

Why am I telling you all of this? I guess what I'm trying to get at is in order to recover from addiction, I think first people need to understand what the reality is that they're trying to escape. What can be done about those issues? Who's in your corner trying to support you, even if they're not doing the best job at it? Where else can you get the social support you might need? What are you passionate about? What would make it feel worth it to get up in the morning? I think instead of focusing on the drugs, or the alcohol, or the cigarettes, maybe we should focus on solving the root problems that make those attractive options. That's one of the reasons a therapist is a really good idea; they can help you figure out what those root problems are, and provide resources and tools to help you fix those problems.

In terms of practical, do it yourself advice for dealing with addiction, there are a couple things you might try. I did a whole post on evidence-based ways to set goals and follow through on them here, so I won't rehash it in this post, but basically:

Try to set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. For you, this might be something like "My goal is to have only one drink a day (measurable and achievable) for week (time bound) so that I can be more reliable for my friends (relevant)".

Instead of trying to quit something, replace it with something else. For example, "when I feel like smoking, I'm going to do ten minutes of learning Korean instead". Learning something new is easier and more exciting, and so new habits are easier to maintain that breaking old ones. Find a new hobby that you've always wanted to do or that's exciting to you, and try to focus your energies on that to distract yourself.

Identify any obstacles (such as environmental triggers) that you might run into, and develop contingency plans for working around them. This might be something like, "when I drink coffee in the morning, I want to smoke, so I'm going to switch to tea instead." If you can, get rid of all environmental triggers that might remind you of your addiction or trigger a craving.

Get someone else involved. Tell a friend about your goal and have them check up on you. Your fear of disappointing them will help you stay on track.

Put money on the line. Give money to a friend with the understanding that you'll get it back at a set date if you've achieved the goal you set. Tell your friend that if you fail, they should donate the money to a group or cause you really hate.

Write down the reasons you want to quit, and put them somewhere you know you'll see them. Whenever you want to engage in an addiction behavior, read through that list first.

For bonus points, add to that list your contingency plan for when you want to engage in an addiction behavior. These may include ways to redirect your attention or distract yourself until the craving passes.

76% of people who wrote down their goals, actions and provided weekly progress to a friend successfully achieved their goals.

You might also try an addiction recovery app, such as these, or doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worksheets on your own if you can't access a therapist right now.

There are also some things you can try in order to improve your mood. As much as I hate that this is true, consistent exercise has a huge impact on mood. If you can, try taking a 20 minute walk outside, 3 times a week. Other (boring) things, like making sure you're getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night and eating regularly, can also make a big difference in mood. Some of you might know that I'm a little bit obsessed with the free Coursera class "The Science of Well-Being". It has a lot of great evidence-based tips and tricks for how to build happiness, and I highly recommend it if you're trying to live a happier life. These include things like journaling, meditating, noting things that you're grateful for, helping other people, and having regular social interactions.

Finally, a few philosophical thoughts. One of the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism is dukkha. Basically, this is the idea that suffering is an innate characteristic of existence in our world. When I was younger, I never liked this concept, but I think now I kind of get it. It's impossible to be happy 100% of the time, and that shouldn't be our goal. Suffering is the comparison by which our lives gain meaning. But we can do our best to minimize our suffering and the suffering of others, and ride the wave of suffering when it does come. And each time we ride that wave, we can learn techniques to manage it a little bit better, and to make it easier the next time. We will sometimes sabotage ourselves out of fear, but we can learn how to do it less frequently and for the consequences to be less dire. We can learn how to forgive ourselves for our flaws and what we've done in the past, and learn from those mistakes so we don't do them again in the future. It's also okay to backslide, to struggle even after you've made progress. You're never back where you started, because you've always learned more and experienced more.

I know I've thrown kind of a lot at you in this post, and I don't expect you to try all of it or for all of it to work, but hopefully something in there is helpful to you. You can get through this. You can save yourself, but please, also remember to let others help save you. You don't need to do this on your own. And just like I have been since you were 13, I'm always here to give a free therapy session and to lend my support ❤️❤️❤️

[prettyoddfever]

P!ATD’s tweets leading up to South Africa

THE MAIN POST

Brendon got twitter at this point and Jon followed shortly after, so the band’s all here. Sometimes stuff tweeted after midnight might be listed in a date that’s technically off, but I tried my best to put everything in order:

highlights from MARCH 29-30

Shane @ Spencer: wake up! I just wrote this 412 page silent film I want to shoot before breakfast. Its like Jaws, but without the sharks.

Spencer: DeathProof...makes me think of putting the invincible code on in Golden Eye for N64...I always rewind the crash Pete Wentz’s reply: i remember always playing as oddjob and using proximity mines.... youre the tour manager tomorrow- dont blow it. Spencer’s reply: Well I learned from the worst so we should be all good.....Its all about Baron Samedi with the RPC-90.

Ryan: Guilt tripper (Ryan & Zack were tweeting back & forth a lot today so I’ll just leave one comment from Ryan: I had some great dreams last night involving a pet bobcat in Hawaii)

Ryan @ Shane: Shane where have you been all my life? Shane’s reply: want to dress up like Indians and ride dirt bikes? Ryan’s reply: let's do it right now

Ryan: King Baby is the one who rules the roost.

Ryan: Bringing back bleached hair and puka shells Spencer’s reply: Do you know where to get the post man finish dickies shorts? Ryan’s reply: yea, I know a place on sahara and jones..ill get you a few pair?

MARCH 31

Shane:  Brendon, spencer, and I are up early today, heading to Jay Leno.. Tune in tonight!

Spencer: It's not often you get to see 3 pony tails before lunch!

Spencer: We are here.. first two to meet us get tickets to see falloutboy w/ Brendon tonight on leno (and then Spencer added “and a mango mojito!!”) Ryan’s reply: ...I'm too late aren't I

Eric @ Ryan: HA! guess we can't make it in time either Ryan’s reply: Are you coming home tonight?

(Eric was also tweeting Shane & Zack like normal but only going to bring in stuff from Shane, Eric, Dan Angel/Griffith, Pete, & Alex Greenwald when it gives context to what the 4 main band members are saying... for now I’ll post  I didn’t save much from Zack and can’t grab it now so he’s not really an option, sorry).

Ryan: "Awesome" may be the funniest episode of Tim and Eric yet.

Ryan: Almost forgot to get Jon. 11:11 wish- flight don't be delayed the cops at the airport are suspicious.

APRIL 1

Ryan: beard me.

Ryan: Drinking pork wine eating port rinds.

Brendon: now, does having an april birthday make one an april fool? in my case, most likely.

Spencer: Rehearsal for South Africa today, were honing our spear throwing skills and british accents, then we'll get to some songs.

Spencer: Got your sherrifs badge?

Spencer: We had to untangle a rats nest, but we got it...now playing 'go home grandpa'  Ryan’s reply: Join my fanclub Santa?

Brendon: just cursin and rehearsin.

Eric: Grandpa's fanclub

Spencer @ Zack: Are you gonna switch to desert camo for Africa?

Ryan: My fingers hurt. I'm pretty sure the only known cure for this is Thai food.

Ryan tweeted Alex that he’d see him tomorrow

Spencer: testing with testosterone. jon walker.

Ryan: "Weren't you going to ask me if I've raced anybody?" "Yea have you?" "Raced a Ferrari, beat it." Shane’s reply: Thats just ridiculous no one could beat my Ferrari. Ryan’s reply: hahaha

APRIL 2

Ryan: Just beat the original Ninja Turtles arcade game with Jon.

Ryan: I am tired, I am weary, I could sleep for a thousand years.

Ryan: since everyone at my house has gone to bed I will answer to as many replies as possible in the next 10 minutes – someone asked “in what sense is Mad as Rabbits about love?” and Ryan said “In the universal sense” – a fan asked why Brendon wasn’t following Ryan on Twitter and Ryan said “I'm not following him either....hmm” (fans were making such a big deal out of the stressful tension of Ryan & Brendon acting like the other didn’t exist all spring).

Ryan: this is how you write a song.

Shane: rummaging around for Brendon’s passport

Ryan: I thought I just heard Roky Erickson sing something about cell phones in a song written in the 60's.Maybe he really is an alien. Or I'm deaf

Brendon: spence and shane, bfff.

Spencer @ Dan Angel: do you know where Brendon left the camera?

Spencer @ Zack: Why is his name Zack? Why am I on this website?

Brendon: hey, remember that time when i would only smoke marlboros? nat shermans? black&milds?  (I’m leaving out a lot of the replies to Zack because they don’t mean much without his comments... but Brendon replied): i hope they have black&milds in south africa. or "BM" as we call it.. or wait, was that something else?..

Ryan (after midnight): JJAMZ experienced for the first time (this wasn’t part of his tweet, but it’s from that show)

APRIL 3

Spencer: First thing to hit my stomache, a beautiful blend of 6 different liquors.

Brendon’s reply to Spencer: what's up dude?! can't wait to see your ass in south africa ;) Spencer’s reply: Yeah man, it is a nice ass..we just took 'foghat' on a walk, performed like a champion. Did you pick up the rhino urine? Brendon’s reply: yeah man, i've got all the hyena and rhino urine we need for that safari, no doubt. (also: "urine" and "urie".. haha)

Spencer: Second...cpkbbqchknsld.

Brendon: rippin Bar Louie a new one. then letting Bar Louie rip me a new one..

Jon’s first tweet: i dont know what im doing

APRIL 4

Brendon: Check this video out -- "My Pet Monster" Spencer’s reply: When are we getting samurai armor? We need to hold a shogun battle royale. Brendon’s reply: I wholeheartedly agree.. Maybe we can find the armor from TMNT3, that'd be neat Spencer’s reply: If not, at least some foot clan outfits, just don't kick me in the chest.

Spencer @ Brendon: have you seen this... My 29 piecer will be alive soon. Brendon’s reply: dude.. insane ha. we gotta get you that 29-piecer ;)

Jon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkkBhEomlUg

Spencer: Just watched Padma from top chef seductively lick bacon from a western bacon cheeseburger. Good job Carl, you got me. Ryan’s reply: I saw that too, my new favorite commercial.

Spencer: Figuring out who's headlining Break-Fest.

Jon: Who is this?

Jon @ Spencer: you gotta get IT Spencer’s reply: you GOTTA get it

Jon @ Ryan: what happened to you?

Jon @ Brendon: they love her for the Kingston sound Brendon’s reply: flava flav and i-c-e once said somethin that made me want to burn my liquor store down to the ground

Shane @ Brendon: how’s the snorkeling? Brendon’s reply: dude! tried my hand at some "cherry wheat ale" tonight. pretty tasty ha

Jon (I think he found Ryan a couple hours later): Froggys

Ryan: The more the scarier.

APRIL 5

Brendon: some people want answers, but i've never really been good at explaining myself

Jon: Marley

Spencer: Here is the winner of our UrieLove campaign  (this picture was old)

(Spencer also tweeted his sisters... I just wanted to add that bit since he recently deleted all of his tweets and those parts were cute. I wish I had done this post last month when Spencer’s tweets were still available but at least I have most stuff).

Jon: Half-speed mastered Japanese pressed vinyl using high-end recording equipment and the best sources of vinyl in prestine/mint condition Spencer’s reply: ahhh I see you found my Screeching Weasel/Lagwagon split 10" EP auction

Jon: The Sandlot 3 starring Luke Perry, directed by William Dear (Angels in the Outfield, 1 episode of 'Dinosaurs') Rated PG for some rude humor.

Brendon: just finished a very cold performance for coke. and was definitely the most awkward dude there. but in the presence of greatness.

(Zack tweeted a couple pictures – I liked this one most):

Brendon: yeah, im doin the drywall up there at the new McDonald's

Jon: Roommatist

Ryan: Farewell America get together

Jon: Keeping warm

Eric (a little after midnight): shit sounds good in here!

[alkali-is-sleeping]

The Dog Star 2

[cw: some shouting, anger, could be triggering for some]

<previous chapter>

If my little brother — a Death Eater who made Walburga, our mother very proud — had not gotten himself killed at the hands of the Dark Lord, I most likely would not have inherited my family’s home. Twelve Grimmauld Place loomed below us. The House of Black had never been welcoming, but I needed to make this Hari's home; its needed to welcome him.

I revved again as we made our descent, careful to make sure that Hari was still safe as we landed.

But there was a shadowy figure at the door. I wrapped Hari with my jacket, separating his sleepy head from what may lay ahead, panicking at the thought that he may be taken from me, or worse...

I neared cautiously, I daren’t say fearfully, my life had overflown with it for too long and I needed my courage more than ever now. The closer I got, the more I became certain that this was someone I knew, but the pressing fog in my head made it impossible for me to say who until —

Fearful amber eyes turned to me, lowered on the slowish breathing lump in my jacket and glistened under the light of the street lamps and the stars — I was named after the brightest one — and the no longer full moon.

Remus teared up more and more the closer I drew. He reached his hand out, once I was near enough, as if to touch Hari, but retracted it just as quickly, thinking better if it.

I did not want to let go of the baby. He was a lifeline then, keeping my head over water, stopping me from drowning in the grief and the mess and the truth and —

Remus had always been the best at gauging my emotion, my confusion radiating to him perhaps, permeating his ever calm demeanor, telling him that my hands and this baby were, at least for now, surgically attached. He tapped his wand to the door causing it to clunk painfully through the soundless night, and pushed it for us all to get in.

He lit the fire in the drawing room, all the candles and lamps and eventually took to standing in a far corner of the room staring at sleeping Hari, occasionally wiping his eyes with his tatty jumper sleeve.

“W-why didn’t you tell me you weren’t the Secret Keeper?” I started at the sound; it was the first voice I’d heard all night aside from Hari’s cooing and babbling.

I lifted my eyes to Remus’s; red and bloodshot, just like mine probably.

“Forgive me... we didn’t think we could trust you... Voldemort had so much he could have offered you in exchange for...” I gulped. The mistake I had made, it cost my best friend and his wife their lives and I could hardly bring my self to telling Remus.

“I went to Peter’s hiding place,” I continued, “I was supposed to check if he was still ok, but he was gone. No struggle, nothing to suggest he left against his will even... it was my idea to make him Secret Keeper...” I whispered the last bit, tears rolling down my own cheeks, landing on Hari’s little blanket.

Remus hurried next to me, wrapping his arms around me and the baby, his tears mingling with mine.

“No one blames you,Sirius. Peter, well he...”

“Talentless rat,” my voice filled with anger suddenly, burning and smoking just like the Potters’ cottage... “Must have been his proudest moment, selling out his friends and their baby son...” I sobbed drily. “Lily was pregnant again... she and James told me last week, while you were recovering from the moon. They were going to tell you, once you were better and... and...” I trailed off. I didn’t want to stop talking, not when there we’re still so many truths wanting to get out, squirming and rioting in my stomach. I wanted to let them all out, to talk and talk until this was all a distant memory. But Remus’s eyes. His eyes were wide and they had stopped leaking. They were staring at me and for a second — perhaps it was my own paranoid mind, perhaps I imagined the contempt — he did blame me.

I think he was going to say something else before the fire had glowered iridescent green. We both took out our wands and and stood abruptly, Remus in front of me, me covering Hari. Ready for the worst.

A purple wizard’s hat, followed by a great mass of flowing silver-white hair which hid a benevolent old face and then the rest of the purple clad body. Dumbledore.

"I thought I might find you all here." His voice, a seemingly perpetual tone of casual amusement, irked me. My best friends were dead and he had the nerve to stand in my house and tell me, matter-of-factly, he knew he'd find me here? "I'd asked Hagrid earlier tonight to bring young Hari to me," he said, sitting, uninvited, on the nearest armchair. I was shooting daggers at him, but he seemed not to care, looking only between Remus and the baby I held. "But by the time he got there, the baby was gone, taken, the locals told him, by a man in a leather jacket and a flying motorbike... I knew, instantly of course, that his godfather must have taken him to safety."

I shifted my feet uncomfortably and redistributed Hari's weight in my arms. Why was Dumbledore here? What did he want?

I looked at Remus, who was in turn looking at Dumbledore, who was finally looking at me.

"I'm not sorry," i said, chin lifted in the airin defiance, daring him to make me apologise for having gone against his will.

"No one is asking you to be bu--"

"And I am not giving him to you."

My interuption was punished by silence, broken only by a dry cough from Remus. Dumbledore's eyes, bright moonstone, penetrating to the depths of my soul...

"Sirius, from what I gather, as Hari's guardian, you wannt what is best for him. However, you do not seem to have the full measure of things," Dumbledor was now making a dome with his hands, leaning forward on his seat. "I have good reason to believe thathis mother's sacrifice, Lily'sbloodshed for her son, has formed an unpenetrable protection on Hari. This is little understood magic, magic which is the sole reason Hari got away from Voldemort's attack with only a scar."

It was his turn to shoot me daggers; he most likely didnt mean it, but his gaze made me want to run and run. I didn't want to hear about what really happened, I'd seen enough, endured enought, I did not want anymore.

But he did not care, he kept talking, telling me everything, feeding me more and more dark, worm like truths.

"This is why i believe Hari needs to live with his aunt and uncle, blood relations of Lily's." I stared.

"WHAT?!" I bellowed, unable to control the sudden influx of anger bubbling over the surface. Hari woke at the sound, fussing and sqirming. remus made to take him from my grip, but I pushed him away, making him nearly-stumble back,eyes wide.

I rocked the baby slowly, allowing him to ease back to sleep.

Instead, I took to a menacing whisper; "You mean to send him to live with Muggles? People who dont even know him? Did you know Lily never wanted him to meet Petunia and..." I struggled for a name, "Whats-his-face? You want to send him to a place where, perhaps for most of his life, he won't know who he is or where he came from? A-and can't ypu imagine what that'd do to him? That no one will have bothered to tell him about his parents?" I panted as if I had shouted; I said all of that in one angry breath.

"I suppose I'm an easier book to read than I imagined." He was wiping his glasses with the hem of his amethyst robes and, my, did I want to throw stones at him just then, to watch him and his stupid, calm face, shatter into a million pieces, leaving only his delicate, half-moon glasses.

"I'm his godfather. I was the one James and Lily appointed as his guardian if they..." I couldn't say it. Maybe tomorrow could wake up, take some Fire Whiskey down to drink with James as we laugh loudly, like we did in schoool, before the war, laugh about the pathetic dream I'm having...

"Isn't... isn't there some magic in that?" I pleaded, finally defeated perhaps. Dumbledore paced the room twice round, Remus' eyes on him the whole time while i closed mine and imagined James grin, full of laughter and love and... life.

"Perhaps... But more than anything, I think I am to trust the Potters' judgement and their own trust in you, for now. I will decide if this is really a good choice after I have gathered enough information. Until then, you are not to leave this house under any circumstances. Not until I have good reason to believe he will be magically protected from teh Death Eaters out to avenge their fallen Master. And, I am also to understand, given that you are both here, that Peter Pettigrew was the spy the Order had so many whispers about, correct? You are not to search for him either, as I am sure you might be tempted to."

Remus and I just nodded deftly. I could not have cared less about this sentence at Grimmauld Place, though the fleeting urge to go after Peter, to throttle him and rip him limb from limb, did possess me for seconds. But Hari was just so much more important to me, and every second with him was precious, like little glittering pearls gathering in my hands.

"That concludes my bussiness here, and my welcome has been long over stayed, so I shall leave you to it." He Dissaparated.

The next moments all blurred into one,and i cannot say how, by sunrise; the pale greenish orange promisisng a cold, summer's morning, we found ourselves laying in the guest bed, Hari between us, still fast asleep. The both of us staring into space, our pillows damp and salty.

Despite the growing sunlight, Sleep's teder fingers caught up to me...

[A/N: gods this one was long, im sorry it took so long to post, ill try to be faster with chapter 3 (which mind you is longer still than this). i hope dumbledore moral ambiguity shows, dont worry if it doesnt, it really will further on. hope you enjoy and thanx for reading!!]

[emybain]

Speak Up

hiiiiii I dont like this fic but im posting anyway because im tired and my body is driving me nuts right now! maybe when I can think clearly again ill write another fic where nova and Adrian have a fight (or maybe ill just write it now sksksk) because this didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. I felt bad about just deleting it though so I figured I might as well post it,,,no harm in that other than my reputation

SPOILERS FOR SUPERNOVA

SPOILERS FOR SUPERNOVA

SPOILERS FOR SUPERNOVA

Nova draped an arm over her eyes, feeling a headache coming on. Well, she had a recurring headache just about every day so far that week, and it was only Tuesday. Already she was sick of them. They weren’t the only things she was sick of. 

    “Men are stupid,” Danna said from below Nova. She, Ruby, Danna, and Narcissa were all in Ruby’s room. It still felt weird for Nova to have girl acquaintances, dare she say friends, the same age as her after only having Ingrid and Honey for so many years down in the subway tunnels. “Why do you think I like girls?” 

    Nova and Danna were still on rocky terms, Danna being the only one left on Nova’s former team who hadn’t fully forgiven Nova yet. Nova didn’t blame her; she’d be stubborn to forgive herself as well after everything she put Danna through, as well as the others. Still, it could be frustrating at times when Nova stretched to be nice to the other girl and have it thrown back in her face with a snarky comment. At least now, Nova felt as if Danna was finally starting to accept Nova’s apology, and they could hold a civil conversation when left alone. 

    “Have you tried talking to him?” Ruby questioned, ignoring Danna’s comment. Nova rolled over onto her stomach to peek down at them from her spot on top of one of the twin’s beds. 

    “No.” Nova groaned, sitting up and draping her legs over the mini wall on the bunk bed, meant to keep someone from falling off in their sleep. “I don’t care to see him right now.”

    “Are you going to break up with him?” Narcissa eyed Nova over her book, a mischievous smile on her lips. Her head was resting on Danna’s lap. “That would be hilarious.” 

    Danna swatted at her lightly, affectionately, before going back to playing with her hair. The two had been dating for a few weeks now, and Nova was beginning to wonder if she and Adrian had been as disgustingly adorable when their relationship was official. 

    “No,” Nova said, almost too quickly. Danna snorted. “I don’t know. Is it something worth breaking up over?” She looked down at her hands, feeling her cheeks heat up. 

    Three months of bliss. Apparently, that was all the world wanted Nova to have before it slapped her in the face. It had been three months since the Supernova, and things with Adrian were going fine until last Saturday night when Nova had gone over to watch a movie. It had been a long day for both of them; along with the other Renegades, they were trying to install more independence among the citizens. Now that everyone in the world was a prodigy, more and more people were beginning to see that they didn’t need the Renegades to protect them and do everything for them, and the Renegades, much to Nova’s relief, believed the same thing. It was a lot of work, undoing the system the Renegades had crafted, but Nova enjoyed it. 

    Well, she enjoyed most of it, save the media attention she was getting. A lot of people didn’t know what to think of her, the girl who was one of the most wanted criminals in the city and who was now what they deemed a “good guy” that was dating Gatlon’s golden boy. They wanted to know more about her, and that meant having cameras and reporters constantly in her face whenever she left her apartment. Nova was sick of it, to say the least. And some magazines were starting to catch on, based off of what they were now writing about her and how she had a snippy attitude and a mean composure. Fine. Whatever. She didn’t need a couple of journalists defining who she was. 

    Adrian always tried to comfort her whenever a new story came out, but it never really worked. She could tell he felt bad for her, but what was he to do? He grew up in the spotlight. She grew up in the subway tunnels. He just...didn’t understand. 

    When she had been at his house the weekend before, they had been somewhat paying attention to the movie until Nova got up to use the bathroom. After she got out, Adrian was not on his couch anymore. Figuring he must’ve gone upstairs for more snacks, she had grabbed the empty popcorn bowl and headed up to help him out. But then she paused before she walked into the kitchen, hearing voices. It was a habit, something she needed to break, and she wouldn’t have kept eavesdropping if she hadn’t heard her name mentioned. 

    “...need to keep her in line for this interview, Adrian.” She had recognized Hugh’s voice immediately. Like with Danna, Nova and Adrian’s father had an awkward relationship. While he was surprisingly okay with her dating his son, Nova could tell he was still cautious around her, as if she might break at any moment if someone said the wrong thing. “You know how she gets sometimes, and we can’t have her saying too much.” His tone was light, joking. Nova grit her teeth all the same. 

    “Saying too much?” Nova had leaned in closer, pressing her ear against the door when she heard Adrian’s voice. 

    “He means something inappropriate or uncalled for.” She remembered deflating at Simon’s words; she had thought that between Adrian’s parents, Simon was actually warming up to her. Clearly, that wasn’t the case. “She wasn’t exactly raised in a proper environment and doesn’t know proper manners. You know we like Nova, but once she opens her mouth…” 

    This conversation kept going for a few minutes, and with every second that passed, the sour taste on Nova’s tongue got stronger and stronger. Nova and Sketch’s team had an interview with a major television show in a few weeks that Nova was not looking forward to, but was doing it for Adrian’s sake. It would be their first appearance on a larger platform other than newspapers and magazines following the Supernova, and Nova’s first serious interview. Bleh. Hugh and Simon must’ve been referring to the recent news about her; why else would they have a private conversation with their son? She wasn’t so much as annoyed at the fact that they spoke of her like she was a brash child. No, what hurt was the fact that in the few minutes Nova listened to the conversation, not once did she hear Adrian speak up for her. 

    “Well, what did he say when you found out?” Nova jolted her head up, blinking at Ruby as her mind shifted back to the present. 

    Nova shrugged. “I walked into the kitchen and told him I had to go. I was already out the door before he could say anything.” She let out a slow sigh. “I’m just upset that he didn’t even defend me. I don’t give a rat’s ass what Simon or Hugh think of me, but isn’t Adrian supposed to be on my side for things like this?” She truly felt stupid for having this conversation. Silly, even. Her problems weren’t supposed to be about trivial things like this. Never in her nearly seventeen years of life would Nova had thought that she would ever have girl talk with girls her age, either. It was all just ridiculous.  

    “His parents insulting you based on a bias?” Ruby scrunched her nose up. “Yeah. He should’ve said something, but have you considered the possibility that maybe he didn’t get the chance?”

    Nova picked at her cuticles; it was a new bad habit she got herself into when she was stressed. “I listened to their conversation for a good five minutes. Adrian had plenty of time to interrupt them.” 

    The room was silent for a few minutes. Outside the door, Nova could hear Ruby’s brothers horse-playing. She could smell whatever meal her mom was making for dinner. 

“Well, Nova,” Danna reclined back to rest against the wall, “I’ve known Adrian longer than Ruby, but I think we both know that Adrian would never hurt you on purpose or go behind your back. We’ve seen the way he looks at you, and while it makes me gag,” the edges of her lips curled up, “he’s afraid of losing you.”

“What are you saying? That I should just forget about it and move on?” Nova huffed, crossing her arms. 

“At least go talk to him. Explain why you’re hurt. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

Nova wished it were that simple.

__________

    It was Thursday morning, and Nova had yet to take Danna’s advice. She didn’t want to admit it out loud, but she was nervous at the thought of confronting her boyfriend. What if she had overreacted and he now thought she was being irrational? What if she had waited too long and now Adrian didn’t want to see her? 

    She tried to block out her negative thoughts in the Training Hall with Ruby, where she had suggested they work out together that morning. Now, mid morning, they were running laps around the track. Nova was finally beginning to get lost in her element when she noticed two people walking towards them. Oscar and Adrian.

    From beside her, Ruby placed a hand on Nova’s arm and slowed both of them down. She waved at the two boys, a bright smile lighting up her face at the sight of her boyfriend. Nova’s eyes widened, and she pried Ruby’s fingers off of her. 

    “What?” Ruby raised an eyebrow. “I thought you made up with him already.” When Nova shook her head, lips pressed tightly together, Ruby rolled her eyes. “Well, now’s the time to do it. Come on.” With no other way out, Nova let Ruby lead her off the track to meet the boys. Adrian eyed her cautiously, to which she responded with a glare. He averted his gaze immediately, clearly embarrassed, but it didn’t stop him from glancing over her body. She crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly self conscious about the fact that she had discarded her shirt earlier and was now left in only a sports bra and leggings, both drenched in sweat. She looked disgusting to say the least, and it wasn’t how she wanted Adrian seeing her. Not that she cared, of course. 

    Ruby greeted Oscar with a hug, and he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Oh, I completely forgot to mention this.” Ruby turned back to Nova and hit the palm of her hand to her forehead softly. “Oscar and I made plans for brunch today. Do you guys want to join?” 

    Nova plastered a thin smile to her lips, answering for herself and Adrian before he could even open his mouth. “No, thank you. I want to get in a few more miles before leaving. You guys have fun, though.” 

    Ruby narrowed her eyes at Nova, as if she was saying “Really?” but Nova pretended she didn’t see it. She waved goodbye to the two of them and turned around, starting up her jog again. She ran for a good twenty feet before she heard Adrian’s voice from behind her, getting louder. 

    “Nova! Hey, wait up!”

    Groaning, Nova stopped again. She wasn’t going to get out of this, obviously, so she waited for Adrian to catch up to her until she spoke. “What?”

    He flinched at the harsh tone in her voice, the movement so subtle Nova almost missed it. She bit the inside of her cheek. “You haven’t been answering my messages.” It was true; she hadn’t been. He had sent a few since Saturday, but Nova hadn’t bothered checking to see what they said. She had been too frustrated to care about his apologies. 

    “I’ve been busy,” she replied, pursing her lips. “Sorry that I don’t have proper etiquette in communication. It was how I was raised, you know.” 

Adrian squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before opening them back up. “Listen, about Saturday, can you please let me explain?” 

Nova stepped off the track so that she wouldn’t be in the way of other runners. “Explain what? Because from my understanding, you let your dads insult the only family I knew for ten years. No, they weren’t perfect,” she let out a harsh laugh, “but they tried. Honey and Leroy and Winston, at least. Ingrid at times when she was in a good mood.”

“Were you seriously that offended?” Adrian took a step back. “Because they manipulated you, Nova. I understand that Leroy is a better person now, but for the rest of them, well,” he shook his head, “I’m not even going to say anything.”

“Just like on Saturday?” She cocked her head to the side. “I don’t give a shit what your dads think of me, okay, Everhart? I do care about what you think of me, though, and if you see me as some uncontrollable toddler who can’t keep her mouth shut like Hugh does, then why are we even together?” The last bit stung her as much as Adrian. Once the words left her mouth, she instantly regretted them, but it was too late now. So she huffed and looked up at him expectantly. 

Nova noticed how people slowed their stride when they passed by the arguing couple, eager for whatever gossip they could get. No doubt word would get out to the press, and Nova’s mood would sour more. 

“Nova, you know I don’t think of you like that, not even in the slightest.” He reached a hand forward, placing it on her arm. She shrugged it off. 

“Then why,” she asked quietly, looking down, “didn’t you defend me? I sat there for five minutes listening to your dads talk to you, and not once did you speak up. Are you afraid that I’m going to embarrass you in front of the entire world? Because I’m not a perfect little doll and that I come from what many people see as garbage? 

“Of course not!” Adrian cried out, drawing more attention to them. He glanced around before lowering his voice. “No, Nova, you’re right. I...I should’ve said something. I wasn’t comfortable with what they were telling me but I kept my mouth shut anyway. I guess I’m just...trying to stay on their good side? Ever since they found out about the Sentinel, things haven’t been the same around the house. But that’s no excuse. You’re my girlfriend and one of the people I care the most about.”

Nova’s shoulders relaxed, but only slightly. She hadn’t really noticed how things may have changed around the Everhart-Westwood household, but she wouldn’t be surprised if they had.

“I’m sorry, babe,” Adrian murmured, daring to reach out again and pull her closer by her hips. Nerves spiked through her body at the nickname; he had used it a few times before, teasingly, because he knew it annoyed her. What he didn’t know was the effect it had on her, despite her holding a grudge against it.  “I was an idiot.”

Nova’s leg bounced nervously, her eyes not meeting Adrian’s. How could she stay upset with him? She knew he was actually sorry and not just saying it to appease her; that’s just how Adrian was. 

“I accept your apology.” She sighed, placing a hand on his outstretched arm. “I’m sorry too...for overreacting. I just…” She peeked up at him. “Sometimes these articles get to me, you know? They put it in my head that I’m not good enough for you because of who I am and where I came from, and then I have to hear the same things from your dads, and I was hurt that you said nothing. I-I know that I can act without thinking sometimes, and say things that I don’t mean, but I can’t stand other people berating me for it.”

Adrian took both of her hands and laced their fingers together. “Those articles are full of bullshit. Nova, one of the things that I love most about you is that you’re not afraid to speak your mind and you’re not afraid to act on something immediately. Your stubbornness and bold composure make you you.” His lips quirked up. “Not to mention, it’s kind of hot.”

Nova had to laugh at that, her first real smile in days breaking out on her face. “Thank you,” she mumbled. 

“No more secrets anymore, right?” He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Please come to me sooner when I make a mistake so we can talk about it. I can’t stand you being upset with me.” 

“Okay.” Nova nodded, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck to hug him. “Just as long as you do the same. Going five days without you has sucked ass.”

“It’s a deal.”

[denki-kami-lightning]

Dabihawks writing shit

Hawks’ writing guide:

https://waxwingedhawks.tumblr.com/post/185881407778/guide-to-writing-hawks (Go follow @waxwingedhawks)

and a few things I want to add: 

1: As ive said before, Hawks’ food addiction is probably just his coping mechanism. Stress eating, yknow? I mean think about all the stress this poor boy is under. he has to find some way to deal with it, and it doesnt take a genius to see that way is food.

2: how long it takes for his wings to grow back. Just a convenient reminder. To quote the wiki, “When he uses all his feathers, it takes at least two days to grow back entirely, which can be a considerable weakness.”

3: Just how fast he can go; “By his own admission, Hawks' strong side isn't strength but his phenomenal speed. He was able to reach Endeavor's attackers from the top of a skyscraper, in the blink of an eye (0,5 s) which makes 375 - 400 km/h (233 - 248 m/h) and he did not even seem trying, which implies that he can go faster. Hawks solves most fights so rapidly that his sidekicks can't keep up with him so he usually just leaves the aftermaths of his battles to them, while he rushes to the next case.”

4: This handy little trick that I havent seen in many fics: “Vocal Espionage: Hawks is able to use one of his feathers to distinguish sounds from the minute it changes in the air, allowing him to decode conversations and vocal information from sensing the vibrations. Especially after leaving the room or increasing the distance, this technique makes him a dangerous spy.”

5: The fact that he’s actually a little baby “Hawks holds the record for the youngest Pro Hero, as well as the fastest for a Pro Hero to become one of the top 10 Pro Heroes on the Hero billboard chart Japan.”

6: The fact that his nickname is LITERALLY PRECIOUS MAN

7: He never attended U.A and some of yall forget this

8: He’s actually a very complex character, and he knows his death is coming, so dont forget to write that. https://linkspooky.tumblr.com/post/188365405175/when-the-cherry-blossoms-fall (Follow @linkspooky too)

9: My personal {Educated} headcanon; He can’t really handle too much loud noise, so he wears those headphones.

10: My other headcanon: Hawks is kinda adhd.

and theres no guide for Dabi yet, so ill make one for you:

1: Dabi is very aloof, casually confident and kinda emotionless at times. So you really have to write him like he doesn’t give a rats ass about anything... Except for Endeavor. Anytime Endeavor or any real mention of family is part of the situation, Dabi is always mad and unhinged (At least that’s what I’ve observed from the Manga).

2: Dabi is actually kinda useless:

 https://echodrops.tumblr.com/post/177149516011/is-dabi-just-terrible-at-being-a-villain (Go follow @echodrops)

3: You still have to remember that he’s a villain, and that he enjoys playing that role. In the wiki it says that “Despite his usual expressionless behavior, Dabi finds joy in establishing himself as a villain fighting against what he believes to be false heroes. He takes pleasure in taunting heroic figures, students, and Pro Heroes alike. He even takes sadistic pleasure from the pain he inflicts on others, including the people he's murdered.”

4: His intelligence level varies a lot. The wiki tends to portray him as some kind of manipulative genius, while his stats are pretty low. So I guess that’s up to you

5: He still shares Stain’s ideology, and probably looks up to his image as some kind of vague guideline. I’ve seen so many people forget this when writing fanfictions and it kills meee

6: Touya ‘died’ while he was in middle school, so he would’ve been about 13-15 years old. {Still a baby} Also, it’s been noted that this happened shortly after Rei was admitted to the mental hospital.

7: Dabi is slim and sickly. So maybe you should have other people take notice.

8: POINT OUT HIS FIGHTING POSTURE. I cant stress enough how much i love when people write this. he has the same fighting motions as Shoto, and you shouldnt be afraid to have other characters notice.

9: This is just a popular headcanon, but almost everyone seems to agree that Dabis hands are cold. {Got it from his mom obviously}

10: Dabi’s nerves are absolutely obliterated under his scars, so he cant feel anything. Pain or soft touches.

_______________________________________________________________________

Ok now that that’s out of the way, lets focus on the Dabihawks aspect of this;

1: Unless you’re skipping the getting together part of their relationship, you need to start with its roots, which to quote the wiki “It is unknown if Dabi sees through Hawks’ lies, but it's hinted that he's still observing him. Their relationship is mocking, dishonest and resembles a constant power struggle. As far as is known, Dabi is the only villain who may suspect Hawks of being a double-agent.” So dont forget that they didnt get along at first.

2: If Dabi finds out tha Hawks is a double agent, it can go a bunch of different ways. He can get mad and feel betrayed {Angsty, and also kinda overdone}, He can cut off contact without much warning {His feelings can be up to you}, He can be a bit surprised{Or not} and be ok with it {Haven’t seen this one done yet}, or my personal favorite He can just kinda be like obviously and just string him along, giving him false information {Imagine Hawks feeling betrayed by the man he was supposed to be betraying. Like the tables were switched the whole time or something. Ironic right?}

3: If youre writing smut, I think its been made pretty clear that Dabi has some kind of pain kink. {Sorry Hawks}

4: This ones kind of just a writing tip in general, but i like seeing other characters thrown in too. Not just the main ship, you know? I’m pretty sure it isn’t just me either.

5: The height difference isn’t that big. {Sad I know.} Hes only really about an inch taller than Hawks {Making him the shortest Todoroki son.}

6: If you’re writing smut Dabi would probably play with Hawks’ feathers i.e gently{Or not. Up to you} Biting them, licking them, or whispering into them.

7: Their names:

https://griffinmcelroyspisskink.tumblr.com/post/187357377193/with-dabi-it-almost-is-a-form-of-power-that-we                                                                  (Last one go follow @griffinmcelroyspisskink)

[pctrss]

it looks like PETER ROUX is late to class once again . how do they expect to get their degree in PRE LAW by skipping class ? it’s a wonder that they made it to their JUNIOR year . then again , i heard that they were + ALLURING which may give them a pass with professors , but they are also - MANIPULATIVE so maybe not . all i know is that they remind me of SPEEDING IN EMPTY STREETS, RUFFLED UP SUITS, & RECORDS PLAYING FROM ANOTHER ROOM. so watch out . oh look , HE just walked in ! [ b , 22 , gmt , she/her ]

hiiiiii im b and here’s my very poor attempt at posting a proper intro for peter the rat 🤠 i want all the connections in the world so like thsi post and ill come to you or come message me so we can come up with something fresh n messy

peter’s the type of guy to throw about the rebuttal “you don’t know me” but really you would know everything there is to know about him by having one conversation with him. he grew up in madison avenue in new york with two laywers for parents and way too much money in his trust fund 

with that being said peter kind of grew up as an outlier in his family. while the rest of his family members are more proper and reserved, peter thrives off chaos. always has as a child , still does now as a junior in college 

so as u can guess !!!! pre law wasn’t his exact first choice. he would never admit it but he would have much rather gone into art history bec it’s the one thing he loved most growing up but his parents wouldnt have ever allowed him and peter knew better than to even try to worm his way around that one

peter in college though !!!! is a very messy peter. as a junior with three years in his pocket i can imagine him having had done a lot of damage in the very little time he spent there. whether its with friends or girlfriends, peter tends to leave loose strings wherever he goes and doesn’t really know how to allow himself to fully connect with anyone. he’s VERY social and never wants to be alone, but he’s incapable of letting himself form real connections, which sometimes makes him cruel

will flirt with your character at some point regardless of who they are

i REALLY DONT WANNA BE THE ONE TO SAY THIS but peter is definitely a 🤢gemini man

he’s always down for a good time with anyone so he’s the friend you’d call when you just dont wanna go to bed 

will never shut up . ever. especially about things that are interesting to him

idk what else to add will prob come back to this

some connections i’d want for peter:

reptilia / the strokes ( i said, please don’t slow me down if i’m going too fast ) : someone who’s just as chaotic as him. the person in the passenger car next to peter telling him to go faster

ribs / lorde ( laughing till our ribs get tough, but that will never be enough ) : more than anything !! this is the person peter trusts more than anyone. he finds it hard to let anyone in but this person is an exception. almost happened once but the timing and the situation didn’t allow anything to happen between them so they ‘let it go’ and stayed friends. now, much closer, it’s more of a “will they won’t they” kind of situation. 

josslyn / olivia o’brien ( i hope that it was worth it, fucking josslyn ) : maybe they were together n maybe they weren’t, but it quickly took a turn for the left when peter ended up cheating with someone else.  

kiwi / harry styles ( she sits beside me like a silhouette, hard candy dripping on me till my feet are wet  ) : see above. girl he cheated with. could’ve been a one and done or a secret affair that had been going on for quite some time.

stop this train / john mayer ( i want to get off and go home again ) : could be a childhood friend from new york whom he’s known his entire life or just a friend who really reminds him of home

malibu nights / lany ( what do i do with all this time ) : his first real heartbreak stas

some other plots i’d also want!!

asomeone who friendzoned him

someone he tutors

someone he can geek out about art with on the down low

person he always wants to be around at parties

friends n friends n more friends!!

[wongiemei]

iKON Relationship with New Girl Member

Jinhwan:

Basically, her dad

Takes care of her the most dealing with her problems

He’s the oldest and he is used to dealing with the boys’ shit so he can handle hers too

But sometimes, it can be overwhelming

The girl member would listen to him like he would for her

Whenever she gets in trouble, he would always defend her (which annoys Bin a lot)

When she’s in that *cough* time *cough*, she would be the most comfortable with him

Jinhwan wouldn’t hesitate but go to the store 2 streets down and buy her chocolate, medicine, heating packs, chips, and tampons/pads

out of all the boys, she would trust him the most

if she needs something, she would go to him first

jinhwan loves to brag about that to the boys

he also loves the fact that someone is finally shorter than him

the boys still call him short but the girl defends him saying he’s taller than her

if anything, they should call her short

the first time it happened, jinhwan almost cried bc finally someone stood up for him

whenever he’s upset or hurt by what the others said, he hides it but she can usually tell 

the only one he speaks his problems to

she experiments with makeup on him since he’s the only one who lets her

ngl, she’s actually pretty good

‘i didn’t spend 2 all-nighters watching jeffree star and james charles for nothing’

but as long as he sees that bright smile, he’s happy

i think he would be the im-never-letting-you-go type with her because he sees her as the girl he saw for the very first time

shy and innocent

and he will be damned if someone corrupts her

Yunhyeong:

if Jinhwan is her dad, he’s her mom

makes sure she does laundry, gets up early, goes to bed on time, showers before the boys

will feed and cook for the girl even when he’s tired

thinks shes the cutest little thing

but he knows that if he finds chanwoo and her are talking amongst themselves, shes gone

gets pranked on the most

the boys would use the girl to take advantage of his kindness to her for a prank

then the girl would be guilty later on and secretly tell song what theyre planning

believe it or not, yunghyeong is pretty scary when he’s mad

so she rats the others out bc she knows he wont punish her and she could watch the boys suffer

its like killing 2 birds with one stone

but really, she appreciates him

without him, she would be stuck eating delivery and ramen every night

since she rooms with him, chanwoo, and hanbin, hes always cooking something

ikonics see her a lot in his vlives and YT channel

when he went to the jungle, she was very worried

‘hyung, you’re going to get sick there! who’s going to feed me when you’re gone? you know Bin can’t cook for shit!’

‘yah! do you only see me as your chef?!’

‘what do you mean i can’t cook?!’

he looks out for her a lot

during ikontv, she was the only one excited for the mungap trip

out of all the boys, she appreciates him the most

okay, maybe she appreciates him and jinhwan the most

but, he was the one who made her feel welcome and tried the most to help her fit in and make sure she was comfortable

will never forget when he left her a tray of food at her door when she refused to leave her new room

there was a post-it note with encouraging words and she still has it to this day

just a wholesome mother-daughter relationship that will never be broken

Bobby:

oh, my baby

as i mentioned in the earlier post, he wasn’t very upset but he wasnt happy

but he wasnt upset enough to make her feel uncomfortable

bc jiwon is such a baby and so nice that he subtly helps her

over time, they build a cute relationship where he is like her older brother

steals her food all the time

‘no! song-hyung cooked that for me! Only for me!’

‘yah! it’s rude not to share with your elders!’

‘*mumbling* wdym elder. you’re practically a 5 year old’

jiwon has no mean bone in his body and you were practically an angel to him

well, when you’re not fooling around or goofing off

although he thought you wouldnt survive in iKON, he tries to help you as much as he can

even though bin is literally a big butt and gives you a hard time, jiwon helps you

like the time bin screamed at you because you couldnt get the dance right and you, being a strong woman who wouldnt let people push you around, screamed at him too

it resulted to you having a screaming match and the elders having to push you back because you were so close to punching him in the face and the youngers holding bin because he wouldnt hesitate to come at you

more on that in a sec

but you slammed the practice room shut and walked to the river to cool down

granted you were new to korea and didnt really know where you were going, you went to the place the guys took you to

bobby found you crying there and hes a very awkward little bean so it was hard for him to comfort you

since youre a girl and all

but you wrapped your arms around him and cried to his chest *cue confused and frozen bobby*

jiwon slowly wrapped his arms around you and whispered sweet nothings into your ear

since then, hes vowed to protect you bc youre basically the little sister hes wanted

B.I:

okay, lets get this bread

as i said in the beginning, he didnt like you

aT aLL

he wanted to give you a hard time bc he wanted to see how long you would last

these boys have been with him since their survival days and suddenly this girl comes in? no thanks bitch

but i think bin is just really frustrated bc he couldnt figure you out

the others, he knows like the back of his hands

but you? he doesnt know shit about you

*cue his bratty self*

we all know bin is actually a soft little puppy who needs to be protected by iKONICS and will sacrifice himself for his boys

and dont worry, he will soon come to love you too

when you locked yourself up in your room, jinhwan grabbed his ear and pulled him outside to scold him

but it resulted to bin and jinhwan arguing

‘if you dont get your shit together, we’re going to have some problems. you’re the leader arent you? then act like it’

every day you try to be nice to him but he just shrugs and sometimes even outright ignore you

but as time goes on, hanbin slowly figures you out

youre still scared of him and thinks hes a douche but you can see hes trying

he really is trying

he picks up your weird habits like unintentionally pout when you dont understand something or the tip of your nose sweating when youre nervous

before, he used to not ask for your input in any tracks but it has come to the point he would knock at your door in the ungodly time of 2 in the morning, asking if the draft is good

love scenario was your guys’ combined efforts

there will be an imagine with that^

since you came in bling bling era, he didnt really give you a lot of lines because he couldnt figure out your voice and your strengths

but now, he knows you very well too

‘yah, be careful. dont be eating a lot of that ice cream. you shouldnt even have any in the first place. youre lactose intolerant, remember?’

‘yes, bin. i think id remember if there was something wrong with me.’

there are petty little fights between you guys that used to be mean and hurtful but are now playful and downright cute

but that dreaded day of your biggest fight yet

in love scenario during bobby’s rap, there’s that fast move that even the others struggled in

but hanbin already got it nailed down bc hes a GOD

but you were struggling the most and hanbin tried to be patient and help you

it was just hard for you and you couldnt get it right

by the 100th time of him repeating it over and over again, he exploded

‘yah! how are you a dancer when you couldnt even get this right!’

you looked down ashamed while mumbling ‘sorry’

he yells again and you mess up 

AGAIN

he throws his hat down and gets up towards you

‘if you cant do it correctly, why bother with it? go home. you’re done’

jinhwan nervously puts a hand on his shoulder and goes in between them to try and difuse the situation

‘hanbin-ah. we’re having a hard time too. its not just her. the dance is just hard.’

‘i dont get we’ve done WAY harder choreo than this’

‘well, hanbin, remember. she wasnt here for that.’

‘maybe it was a mistake to put her here then. she isnt ready.’

you look up at him with flaring eyes

‘listen, you dont know anything that ive been through to get to where i am today so dont even say im not ready. YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!’

everyone stayed silent, even the maknaes bc theyve never seen her lash out like that

hanbin scoffed.

‘maybe if you actually opened up yourself to us and not hide in your damn room all day’

she stomped to him and pushed him

‘no MAYBE if you pulled your head out of your ass and take the time to get to know me then maybe you would! but NO! you decide to be a little bitch and throw tantrums just bc a girl joined your group. was your ego hurt that yg sent a girl to you? that you would need someone to make sure that this group doesnt crumble to the ground? bc with the way youre acting, the guys arent here just because youre a good leader. YOURE A TYRANT! THATS ALL YOU WOULD EVER BE!’

shit

Hanbin was FURIOUS

he pushed her back and the guys held on to them

you pushed them away and sent one last hateful glare before you made your way to the door

‘but dont worry, kim hanbin. because ill send my resignation letter to yang in the morning. im not putting up with your shit any longer’

there will be a whole ass imagine about that so it will contain when yall make up

but after that, yall are so cool

his sister loves you and he might start having a ‘thing’ 

more on that in a sec

Donghyuck:

oof my baby sunshine

previously stated, he was the only one excited for your arrival

so obvs, yall are very tight

you, bob, and dong do vlives together a lot and ikonics look forward to it all the time

always cheers you up

remember that prank for ikon tv where dong literally started comforting the girl?

well, he does that to you

he knows when you start to get upset and he rubs your back

sometimes, just a hug from him makes it all better

did i mention that he gives out the warmest hugs?

ace dancers

both of you love to do covers as bonding time

whenever you can’t sleep, you just go to the other dorm and go under the covers while he sings to you

he sees you as his little sister and reminds him of his own little sister back home

btw, he loves to give you gifts

but so do you

when yall were filming ikon tv, he always picked up something that reminded him of you

like when he went shopping with bobby for their studio, he got you a little cute figurine that you still have to this day

or when you went to lotte mall for your day off and bought him a little necklace

fans get excited bc they always see matching yall have

the two of you wear the most fan gifts

like when someone gave hanbin a shirt, you snatch it and wear it

like how dong takes bobby’s clothing

yall are so cute together and fans wish they had a brother or a sister like yall

Junhoe:

this hoe

jk, but he really looks hot in this one

yes, he hated you in the beginning but once he found out similarities between you, he started tolerating you

also to him, i think he oesnt like the fact that him and the others worked so hard to get where they are and he doesnt really know what you went through to get there

junhoe has the personality that may seem very cold at first but he easily opens up to others and that causes them to open up to him

he knows the struggles you went through to be in ikon

you’re older than him by a few months and you treat him like your child

‘junhoe-ah! dont forget to take your makeup off!’

‘yah! clean your room! its like a pigsty!’

he gets annoyed with it but he knows you just look out for him

he calls you ‘noona’ with that cute ass smile if he wants something

how can you say no to that

yalls laughs are so loud and yall are just loud in general

one time, yall had a competition on who could sing louder and the guys almost banned you from the apartment complex

the neighbors weren’t happy

he always asks you for fashion advice even though you don’t have a good fashion taste

you have the habit of spoiling him of clothes and shoes

‘noona, you don’t need to do this. take them back’

‘wtf they’re from busan. i’m not about to take a train ride there to return those. keep them.’

his mom absolutely adores you

always tells you to look after him and junhoe blushing like a maniac

‘mom, i’m bigger than her. i think she’d need more protecting than me’

he turns red whenever you pinch his cheeks together 

ngl, he had a crush on you but it faded away when he saw another member having a crush on you too

hes scared of him so hed rather back off

but you love him a lot and comfort him bc hes a little baby that really needs to be looked after

Chanwoo:

fuck, so cute

at first, chanwoo ignored you and made sure you were uncomfortable

even going as far as to disrespecting you

like being rude and being un-chanwoo

lets just say yunhyeong beat it out of him

as the youngest member, you baby him the most

‘oh, my little baby!’

initially, he was uncomfortable with it 

but now, he lives for it

pouts when you give another member too much attention

teases you about your short height all the time

helps you grocery shop mainly for him to carry the bags

‘dont worry, noona. im strong’

you find out that chanwoo actually joined the group last and had a hard time fitting in

you used this to your advantage to get closer to him with your similar situations

‘you know, being in an unfamiliar environment is hard. but having someone who understands your feelings makes it easier’

and he just looks up to you with those big brown eyes and you just melt

gamer buddies

love to go to pc cafes even though yall have your own respective computers at home

only goes for the food

always calls him when you’re stuck in one level

*cute Hanbin’s voice*

‘CHANWOO-YAH!!!! JUNG CHANWOO!!!’

even though he might act like a bitch sometimes, hes actually so soft and cute

hes your little baby and will always be your little baby even though yall are like 80

[mazojo]

Noah screenshots? Hcs? Canon facts you like about him? If you guys were to break up, why?

NONNYYYYY

I am sorry for taking a moment there to answer you, I have been trying to write up this answer for a couple days but fumblr here always messes my post up //rip

I am gonna put this all behind a read more cossss I may get ramble and sentimental and people may not like it asdfghj but just know there may be spoilers below and that in this household we are always at all times and every single second, stanning Noah Marshall hours foLKz.

*Cracks knuckles* leTS GeT ThIS BreAD shall we?? ill be dividing it into each part because yo girl just got a chance to cream about her bby boi Noah and she will take iT asdcfvghjk trash

Screenshots

I am not sure what you mean 100% but I am guessing its sharing my fav screenshots while screaming about it and I will 100% do it xDDD

1- I call this one the “Tragic Backstory™ meets sappy”

Okay okay okay i gotta say this whole scene may as well be one of my favorite ones. Not only does it capture them soooo well, but it also made me connect even more to Noah. He lost everything the day he lost his sister. Everything he did was in order to gain everything back, in the hopes of bringing her back to return to how things were and i…..i…..am……weak……

2- This ones called “Everyone @ PB headquarters is a coward for not giving Noah happiness”

Not gonna put the entire scene because its too long buT when I say I would die for Noah Marshalls entire happiness, I mean I would diE FOR NOAH MARSHALL’S ENTIRE HAPPINESS (literally, because, you know, MC kinda dies for him….. ha…..haha….. too soon). thats it, thats the whole message I want ya to get from this post lmaooo.

3- This one goes by the name “Top 10 cursed moments in Choices history”

how he blames himself. “it should have been me….” because his mom blames him. he blames himself. Noah has carried this burden alone for his whole life. he is broken please someone hug him (and that someone is MC obviously pfffff).

4- This one is “I am damaged, gone wrong, got killed (100% real, not clickbait)”

DOnt have to explain how much this scene literally broKE one (1) dumb soul. This whole exchange is so powerful and everytime I re read it I get tears in my eyes because we all deserve better than this ;w;

5- Lastly I call this one “I added one more because all of the ones I choose were depressing and I needed to redeem my rat boi so”

Thats it, thats the screenshot. Please someone who doesnt know Noah Marshall describe him by this one image asdfghjk

Headcanons

ASDFYU OMG THANK YOU NONNY I STAN I STANNN 

Well, I actually made some of my MC x Noah HC because they are s o u l m a t e s and this is the post buuuuut some Noah hc I have are:

- As I mentioned in my other HC list, Noah is insomniac. He is always staying late and avoids sleeping because almost everytime he falls asleep he has nightmares thus he is always anxious when sleeping. Since he began dating MC in this magical AU the nightmares have been more manageable

- Can I reiterate on the fact that he has a beanie collection?? Like, I am talking all colors and sizes, homeboy’s only fashion statement is his beanie and we stan.

- He is terrible at using social media. MC and Stacey had to b e g him to create an Instagram account. To this day he still does not understand why people add hashtags to posts

- His favorite bands are Green Day, Simple Plan, Set it Off and Rex Orange County (see as I self insert myself in Noah LMAOO)

- His favorite Disney movies are treasure planet and Dumbo because he used to watch them as a kid a lot with Jane *crying noises intensify*

- He is actually a pretty decent singer! The one or two times MC catches him whispering some song she makes a huge deal out of it and asks him to sign autographs for her so when he becomes famous she can sell them, causing him to dramatically roll his eyes and blush while looking away.

- Even though he is a good singer, Noah haaaates dancing and he sucks at it. As I mention in the other HC list, he always ends up tumbling over with his own feet and avoids dance floors like the plague, only slightly softening for MC

- He refuses to buy AirPods even tho all the others have them. His most significant character trait is using wired headphones and owning it

- He has MC saved as “Dumbass 🖤”

- The crew has a group chat in which Noah has tried exiting, multiple times, only to be added once again and everyone going in his case for him to stop being emo asdfghjk

- His spirit animal is a wolf according to him, every-time MC remembers his answer to that question she starts quoting the “in all levels except physical I am a wolf” vine and “Noah has exited the chat” once again.

- His proudest achievement is his music library, with his infinite playlists selection.

This are some of the HC I haveee, I dont want to bombard you with them but I actually have a notes thingy with this lmaoooo, I do this with my fav pairings but never end up posting them asdfghj

Canon facts I like

oh boi

everything

asdfghjkl but in all seriousness:

- I mention this in almost all my Noah posts but his love for family is one of the things I like the most about him. How much he grasps into that hope his sister is alive and how much he suffers for it, even willing to sacrifice his soulmate friend for that, which okay, was wrong, but he did it with all the good intentions in the bottom of his heart.

- His humor definitely. asdfghj cynical and dark humor is very uwuwuwuwuwu attractive to me and my dankness so yeeee

- His passion for culinary school is soooo asdfghjk of his part. I personally have absolutely no idea how to boil water, so in the first place I admire anyone who knows how to cook, and just how much it means to him. Culinary school is his dream and he has abandoned it, but in every scene you speak that he brings it up, you can see how happy it makes him and asdfghjk bby boiiii

- His beanies asdfghjkkuytr okay okay I know I make fun of them a lot and stuff but beanies are actually are one of my few weaknesses for guys clothing lmaooo (just right behind glasses 😍)

- Just the whole thing with helping MC out (in my play-through) after getting turned into Redfield. Like, hello? he is literally not giving up until she is back? because he believes in her? eye-

Those are the ones I can think off right now from the top of my head but if I remember more later I will come back at ya with emmmm ^^

If you guys were to break up, why?

Big Ooffff

So I answered an ask from my homegirl Kato a while back answering and analyzing if Noah and I would actually work out in real life and I think in a way, the same answer can answer this question.

We would break up because in some way, we are too similar. In the sense that we are both pretty introverted, kept to ourselves, a bit of bad humor and that would lead us to clash in our own ways. Thats why I believe he needs someone like I HC my MC to be. She is outgoing, helping him get out of his shell, get out and explore, she is like the light and they balance each other out. If I were to date Noah we would just both fall into one side of the balance xDD

That being said I still loVE ma BaBY BOOOiiii nOahhhh but I think he would make a much much muuuuuch better couple with someone like MC :33 as I said, they are soulmatessss 🤧

Bishes be loving Noah. thats me, I am bishes and Anon has just blessed my inbox and we been stanning

[tessxomarie]

Saving You - Part I

*Hi everyone! First, I need to shoutout @hellosupernaturaldoctor​  for giving me advice and the confidence to even attempt this. This is my very first time writing any fan-fiction and the first time I’ve decided to post any of my writing some place other than a word doc. I’ve had this idea for this story since mid-season of the Mayans, and after the finale I put all my thoughts into a story. It starts off slow, but I promise what I have in store next will be worth it! PS, Any feedback is appreciated! - This story takes place a few months after the season one finale. Ez is now a newly patched in member, Alvarez is still working for Galindo; things have been quiet as of late, well for the most part.*

It’s a Friday afternoon, I’m just getting off of work. It’s hot as fuck outside – guess that’s the price you pay when you live in the desert. I lazily gather my purse from the backroom, before I step foot outside, I redo my hair. What was once a cute pony tail this morning has turned into a mangled mess. As my luck would have it, my hair tie snaps as soon as I go to wrap it around a third time. “Fuck.” I mumble to myself. I always wear an extra hair tie on my wrist, but I cannot have a naked wrist. “Fine, a mangled mane I will have. It’s fine, it’s fine.” I whisper to myself. If I don’t leave here now, I will lose all sanity I have left. Man, what a shit show day today has been, this heat must be getting to the kids. Two broken wrists, a broken arm, a no helmet incident and a random summer cold. I didn’t get puked or shit on, and no kid attempted to kick or hit, so I call today’s shit show a success. Just as I’m about to leave, one of my co-workers stops me, “Leah, good work today. You kept that broken arm kid really calm. Keep it up.” Elena tells me with a smile. “Thanks, Elena. I’m just doing my job, but I always welcome feedback, so thanks again.” I say to her as I head out the back door. It’s 4:30pm, I’ve been on the clock since 6am, one would think I deserve to simply go home and use my complex’s pool – oh one can dream. But nope, I’m still on the clock but I guess you could call this gig more of an always “on-call” service.

I pull up in my old school blacked out Jeep Grand Cherokee about twenty minutes after I leave the clinic to the Romeo Brothers Scrapyard, also known as the headquarters for the Mayans MC.  

Chucky greets me, per usual. “Greetings Nurse Aleeah.” He says to me with a big smile and a salute. I let out a giggle as I always do whenever someone says my full name…I rarely ever go by it, but around here, I hear it more than I have in years. But Chucky, oh Chucky– how does one describe a chronic masturbator who has a good heart and is part of the biker world without truly being a biker? I guess I just did, didn’t I? “Hey Chucky, how are you?” I ask as I park and exit my Jeep. “I am well, swell actually. I have no complaints today.” Chucky answers with a big smile. “Good, I’m glad to hear that.” I say as I give his arm a friendly squeeze. “The boys need your assistance, I don’t know details but clearly someone got messed up hence why you are here.” Chucky explains in typical Chucky fashion.I roll my eyes as I stand in front of the clubhouse. “It’s always something with these boys, huh?” I rhetorically ask. Chucky nods his head and heads back to the office. I walk up the steps and take a deep breath before I enter the clubhouse. This club is like a box of chocolates, you never know what the fuck you’re going to get so it’s best you just grin and bear it. Is it just a cut from a broken beer bottle? Did a fight break out and there is blood everywhere? A bullet wound? A stabbing wound? A rat bite? Like I said, you just never know. I open the doors and pray today is nothing major. “Have no fear, your favorite RN is here.” I announce as I enter the clubhouse and strike a pose in the doorway.  “Umm, isn’t it RN BSN?” Riz corrects as he stands and greets me. “Have I told you that you’re my favorite?” I reply with a playful wink and smile, it does make me truly happy that these guys acknowledge and are proud of my accomplishments. “Hola Aleeah.” Riz says to me while we greet with a warm hug, per usual. “Hey, I spy my favorite nurse!” Gilly shouts from across the room. Creeper, Hank and Taza also wave from the card table. “Greetings gentlemen, you all seem to be in one piece.” I say as I mosey around the few tables between me and the guys. “Although that pleases me, who is the one who called up 1-800-Rescue Nurse?” I sarcastically spit, which receives some laughs from the guys. “They’re in church.” Hank points towards the door. “They? Plural?” I ask looking at Riz, and he nods to confirm. “Jesus Christ.” I say palming my face. “Lee Baby!” Coco shouts from exiting church and walking over to me with open arms. “Ah, Coco Loco.” I reply with a smile and we hug. “How are you doing, Coco?” I ask after we break our embrace. “A lot better than your next two victims.” He replies, him not making much eye contact and that just gives it away – I know automatically who my victims are. “You gotta be kidding me? They got into it again?!” All Coco does is nod and look down at the floor. “How bad?” I ask. “What do you mean? How bad do they look? Or how bad is it between them?” Coco asks me. I shake my head with disgrace. I angrily take my steps towards church and I aggressively open the door. “Damn, she is pissed.” I hear Creeper’s echo as I close the door, as soon I enter the room. Looking at the table, I see them. One is at one end, the other one on the opposite end. I drop my nurse’s bag on the table and cross my arms. “You two have some damn nerve - getting into it again. Jesus. You’re fucking brothers, you are blood – blood don’t do this shit.” I yell with anger and confusion. Silence fills the air as the guys look at each other and up at me. Bishop then looks over to me and quirks an eyebrow and half smile. “Excuse my poor manners, Bish. Your boys tend to make me lose all sanity I have left at the end of a work week.” I tell him as I walk over and give him a warm embrace. “Oh Leah, you’re fine. I know this shit has been out of control recently.” Bishop pauses and looks over to the guys. He takes a deep breath. “I’ll let you handle them now. I’ll be outside if you need a referee.” Bishop exits and I just stand there, crossed arms again. Both boys refuse to look me in the eye, but instead stare each other down. “Are you just going to stand there?” Angel seethes. I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Give me one good reason as to why I should fix the both of you up? Huh? Because as I see it, this is the fourth time this month…THIS MONTH!  Angel, please, humor me and explain to me why the fuck I should tend to your wounds yet again? Maybe if I let you both be, you’ll learn these fights aren’t worth it.” I take a deep breath myself, and I run my hand through my tangled hair, which I then end up putting up in a pony tail right after, I’ll just have to remember to find another hair tie to wear on my wrist later.   “Alright, I’m sorry I went off. You two, you two just frustrate me.” I say holding my hands up mimicking a surrender. I take another breath and look between the boys. My gaze is drawn to EZ, probably because he’s the easier one out of the two. “Okay, EZ, I see that nasty cut on your cheek, oh and your hand – good going big brother.” I say as I look over to Angel. He looks away the moment I look his way. “Shocker, EZ gets to be first yet again.” Angel chirps. “Seriously?” I snap. “I’m over here fucking bleeding, I could be dying but all you and anyone ever cares about is Ezekiel.”   “Shut it Angel, just shut it, please.” I beg. I start to tend to EZ’s war wounds; some cuts, a nasty one on his cheek – I’m guessing Angel’s rings got the best of him this time around. EZ, he doesn’t say much this time I’m here. I know that he feels the same way as me – he’s tired of this back and forth shit with his brother. “EZ, no more. It’s one thing when you all call me to take a bullet out, or to give a rabies shot, but this shit – playground fights, I’m done.” I explain as I place the last bandage strip to his cheek. EZ doesn’t make eye contact, and his jaw is clenched. His knees shaking. “I know, Lee. I’m sorry you’re doing this again.” EZ tells me as he finally meets my eyes for the first time. EZ, he’s easy to read. He wears his emotions in his eyes, his eyes right now are filled with pain and sadness. This whole feud with Angel, it’s taken a toll on everyone in this club. It’s been almost eight months of this fuckery. “Remove the bandage Sunday night, it needs about 48 hours to heal. If you feel the need to remove it beforehand, clean it thoroughly. Have some of your favorite tequila tonight, and you will be good.” I tell EZ as I throw away the things I used to care for him. “Thanks, Lee.” He says as he kisses me on the cheek and walks somberly out of church. My heart aches for EZ, because the pain – physical and emotional is all over his face and body. Angel hasn’t taken his eyes off of the wall nor has he spoken. I slide my bag down the table as I slowly make my way towards him. Rubber gloves are on, and I grab his face. “Let’s see your damage.” I say, like a dog would when a human goes to check their mouth for something, Angel gives me a little tension as I touch his face. Again, no eye contact. A look of annoyance screams from his expression. I see a nasty cut on the side of his head, by his eye – a sensitive area which bleeds more than most. A black eye is also forming. “Jesus Christ, Angel.” I say examining the cut a little further. “This has to stop. I’m begging. I cannot deal with looking at you two like this, because my fear is that one day, I’m going to be too late to help any of you.” “What if it is?” He spews. I scoff, “No more.” Is all I manage to say. I take out an alcohol swab to clean out his cut. “This is going to sting, on the count of three – one, two, three.” I say as I then put the swab against the cut. A loud hiss comes from Angel and an instant reaction of mine is to grab his face and blow lightly at the cut, helping the sting not be so painful. Angel’s eyes then lock with mine, a look of shock and confusion fill his brown eyes. Angel and I, we’ve had a very interesting relationship since I first came to Santo Padre. He gave me an attitude and I gave it right back – he seemed more pissed off when I talked back than just walking away, and the more I talked back, the more tension built up between us. We started out on the wrong foot, and that’s how we have remained. He lets me care for him, depending on the time of day. Sometimes he lets his girlfriend, well I think she’s his girlfriend, Adelita, clean him up. Today, for whatever reason, he stuck around the clubhouse. I continue to blow on his wound, and I wince back in pain for him because I know it had to sting like a bitch. “Uhh, sorry. It’s a habit of mine, when I treat the kids, I have to do this; they hate it too, so that technique helps them...” I ramble and look away because I sense a bit of embarrassment, as I’ve never been “nice” to Angel. I look and reach back at the table to grab what I need next, just as I turn to face Angel again, I notice a very small smile on his face. “What?” I question, because seeing him smile legit concerns me. “It’s nothing, Leah.” He says monotone and lets me continue working on him. A few more minutes go by, and I determine that he doesn’t need any stitches, just a little butterfly work on one of his eyebrows. “Okay, that’s all. No stitches today, that cut on the side of your face, it’s a sensitive area that bleeds more than most. Your eyebrow cut, it’s an awkward cut – it’s ugly but not ugly enough for stitches. My only request is when you clean it out, could you please use both water and soap?” I emphasize. I know how these guys operate. They either use a dirty rag or tap water to clean themselves up. I turn to clean up my stuff and Angel lets out a minor laugh, which catches me off guard. I look at him and quirk an inquisitive look. Angel stands up, he turns behind his chair and lightly pounds his fist to the back of it. “You sounded just like my ma.” He tells me, in the softest voice I have ever heard Angel speak in. I offer him a small smile as I already know what that history is. Angel leaves church, and per usual no other words are spoken, no thank you’s, nothing. I stay behind a few more moments and collect my thoughts and belongings. I hear the door open, at first I’m startled but relieved it’s just Bishop. “How we doin’, sweetheart?” He asks. I let out a very deep sigh and my facial expression tells my feelings of this whole ordeal. Bishop can’t help but laugh, “I know, Lee. I know.” He tells me as he pulls me in for a hug. “I just need to go home and lay in bed and watch a trashy romcom.” I exclaim as I grab my bag. “I think you’ve deserved that, but before you go – you have a visitor.” He tells me. A look of a deer in the head-lights flashes across my face, who the hell could be visiting me? “Just come with me.” Bishop motions for me to take his hand and follow him. Nerves take over, with the Club, you never know what can happen. As I exit the room, I see the guys scattered all over the clubhouse yet all eyes are on me. “Your visitor is the biggest pain in my ass, so make it quick.” Bishop says, but I catch his playfulness I his voice and I look to the bar and I see who Bishop is talking about – Marcus Alvarez.

[shenanigans-academia]

Season 2 w/ Internship Arc/ Final Exams

Episode 26: Time To Pick Some Names

•The kids are so cute, they’re like “we’re FAMOUS” precious babies

•”Congratulations Todoroki on your offers”

“It’s PrObaBlY BecAuSe oF My FaTheR” just take the W babe

•BABY AIZAWA AND HIZASHI we need more flashback episodes I live for a Baby Emo Shouta

•”You’re not even French are you that’s just an act isn’t it?” Call him out Sato

•Alien Queen is amazing stfu Midnight

•FROPPY FROPPY FROPPY

•WE STAN RED RIOT

•ALL MIGHT JUNIOR I’m crying

•I love Jirou and Kaminari’s friendship. Which is mostly her bullying him (reminds me of me and my friend Zack I should call him)

•Okay Cellophane is actually a really good name as well as ChargeBolt. Creati is probably my favorite tho

•”WHY DONT WE GO OUTSIDE AND ILL SHOW YOU EXACTLY WHY MURDER SHOULD BE IN MY NAME” BAKUGOU YOU’RE TRYING TO BE A H E R O

•Also I love how Kirishima just loves to push B’s buttons

•I relate to All Might freaking out so fucking much

•Iida you shady bitch THEY CARE ABOUT YOU AND JUST WANT TO HELP

Episode 27: Bizarre! Gran Torino Appears

•Oooh new intro ngl I think I preferred the beginning half of season 2 theme TENYA FLASHING HIS GLASSES AND TENSEI BEING REFLECTED IN THEM THAT SHIT HURTED

•Gran Torino gives me the biggest whiplash istg

•Brooding Iida is a Time guys

•”what makes a movement special” only flashes of Bakugou show

•TESTU AND KIRI IN THE SAME AGENCY I FORGOT LOVE THE HARD BOI TWINS

•The fact that Momo and Kendo got picked for their internships just because they’re pretty genuinely makes me upset

•okay but Sho could’ve chosen literally any other place to intern why did he go to his dad who he actively hates (with good reason)

•Ayyeee he didn’t break his legs. Maybe he still hasn’t figured out he can exactly use them yet. Look at baby bunny go

•Omozan I see you

•Izuku you are just as sweet as that fish dessert

•FANTASY AU END CREDITS IM LIVING if Hirokoshi doesn’t want to make another movie after this next one comes out he should just make mini films out of all the AUs he makes because honestly I want to see them all animated ESPECIALLY the Fantasy AU that would be Dope with a capital D my dudes

Episode 28: Midoriya & Shigaraki

•oof Midoriya you tried sweetie you did good

•BAKUGOU MAKEOVER TIME. Serving Looks by Best Jeanist we Stan

•I always forget the Nomu were once actual people what the fuck

•Anndddd things are getting tense. These poor kids don’t know what’s coming

•Dark Iida is. Intense

•I love Iida’s Internship Mentor he’s a good boy

•Shigaraki honey. Please. Get therapy

•Okay but Midoriya’s icon for himself on his phone or whatever he’s using to message Iida is All Might and that is just so him

•Iida you’re so DUMB STAIN IS RIGHT YOU ARE A C H I L D STOP MONOLOGUING YOUR REVENGE

Episode 29: Hero Killer Stain VS. U.A. Students

•The Nomus are so fucking gross

•Fuck off Enji

•Midoriya is so good, worrying about other people like Iida

•Shigaraki is a giant man child

•Iida: “You took everything from me”

Stain: “I don’t even know who you are”

•I’m sorry but how did Stain figure out how his quirk worked like how do you find out you can freeze people by ingesting their blood without having to do so crazy fucked up shit when you were younger

•BUNNY BOY BOUNCE

•Iida I love you but you Dumb

•Todoroki being like “i know you’re not the type of person to send cryptic messages so I knew you were in trouble” yeah he knows his boy

•Iida shut UP

•”you’ve got a dark side I guess my family isn’t the only one” Todoroki now is not the time to be emo

•Ah okay decent explanation for why Sho chose Endeavor that i forgot okay now makes sense

•Iida your inner Bakugou is showing

•IM SO PROUD OF TODOROKI it’s only been a couple of episodes since the Sports Festival but he’s already shown improvement and I love him

Episode 30: Climax

•I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I would die for Tensei Iida

•MIDO-IIDA-ROKI KICKING ASS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR

•”My friends may be in trouble” OUR BOY IS GROWING

•I will say at least Endeavor listened to Shouto and told other Pros to go help him

•Ah shiiiIIIIITTTTTT I forgot Mido got (semi) kidnapped and Stain escaped/ fucking DIED (???) I’m SHOOKETH

Started cooking dinner around this time and was in and out for the next 3 episodes so these are less in-depth until Episode 34

Episode 31: The Aftermath Of Hero Killer: Stain

•SHIGGY you Big Dumb

•DABI & TOGA SIGHTINGS HELL YEAH BABY

•“Once this night is over the world will forget he ever existed” whelp that’s what you get for being a little man child Shigaraki

•BAKUGOU IN JEANS IS A FUCKING LOOK OKAY

•Lmao Kiri I love a dumbass

•“Was that a boy?” OKAY I LOVE GUNHEAD

•MIDORIYA, URARAKA IS ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS YOU SHOULD BE USED TO TALKING TO HER BY NOW YA DAMN NERD

•BIRTH OF THE HAND CRUSHER Todoroki’s having like a fucking existential crisis and Iida and Mido are fucking laughing at him I’m dead

Episode 32: Everyone’s Internships

•It says Everyone’s internships but it was mostly just Froppy. Jirou and Bakugou got some spotlight (Bakugou’s hair is just *chef kiss*) but yeah super proud of Tsuyu tho!

•Kiri and Testu kill me I love them so much I need more of them together

Episode 33: Listen Up!!! a Tale From The Past

•Honestly one of the 1st instances I can see Kaminari being the ~traitor~ since he’s low key hyping up Stain but I refuse to believe it because he’s such a good dumb boy And IF it is true then I want him to be such a total BAMF that it better make it worth the heart ache. Like the whole short circuiting thing be a ploy to make people think he’s weak when he could control it the whole time and you know what this is for a different post MOVING ON

•Everyone watching Mido go through the rescue exercise, “WOAH since when does he move like Bakugou???”

•Cut to Bakugou having a stroke lmao

•All Might you’re gonna make me CRY

Episode34: Gear Up For Final Exams

•“Sexiness isnt just an aesthetic” Midnight laying down facts

•Honestly? Fuck Mt. Lady. I want more Anime Groot Kamui Woods and Gunhead

•Final Exams stress is real no matter how powerful you are. Take notes kids

•“WIERDO LITTLE CREEPS LIKE YOU ARE ONLY LIKEABLE IF YOU’RE STUPID WHO’S GONNA LOVE YOU NOW” Kami is NOT holding back

•Teacher Momo is the best she’s so excited

•Kiri is pining SO HARD for Bakugou and Baku is blinded by the rage of his life he can’t see it Baby Shark is trying his best “Maybe I should beat the lessons into your skull” “I’m counting on it” KIRISHIMA THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO FLIRT

•Shut the fuck up Monoma, Kendo come get your Rat Boy she’s just as done with him as everyone else is lmao

•”Deku, how you use your power is pissing me off I’m still better than you” every time he opens his mouth it’s either to curse someone out, to say Die, or accusing them of thinking their better than him. Honey. Go to therapy I’m begging

•WOW he uses Todoroki’s actual name

•Aizawa help the angry boy please

•“I didn’t leave anything blank at least!” MOOD KAMINARI

•How long was Nezu in Aizawa’s scarf???

•”We’re fighting...teachers?” Lmao yall fucked

•Midoriya & Bakugou against All Might. Aizawa really said fuck them kids

•Saving the most intense and chaotic for last I see

•Jirou “aren’t you just the announcer”

Mic “HEY WATCH YOUR MOUTH GIRL HAVE SOME RESPECT” he’s so butthurt haha leave Mic alone

•Aizawa is calling people out left and right we love a Ruthless Bitch

•Bakugou disses All Might. All Might “it’s on now you angry little asshole”

•MY BOY KIRISHIMA IS UP FIRST LETS GOOO AND WE FINALLY GET SOME SATO ACTION LETS GO SUGARMAN WE GOT SOME POWERFUL BOIS. Too bad they failed

•Tsuyu and Tokoyami are a good matchup and the fact they got the creepiest teacher to go against a kid with a quirk like Dark Shadow is just so funny to me. Basically said let’s make it as Goth as possible

Episode 35: Yaoyorozu: Rising

•Ectoplasm’s quirk looks like it’s literally eats Tsuyu and Yami. Everyone watching TRAUMATIZED. But they still fucking DID IT

•Also LOVE DARK SHADOW I wish he talked more

•Ojirou on Iida’s back “I can only imagine how stupid we look right now” no Ojirou you look adorable. Also just fucking LAUNCH THE TAIL MAN but hey it worked

•”Spikes? What are you trying to be some kind of ninja” yes he is Shouto why do you think he’s an underground villain HES LITERALLY DOING A NARUTO RUN AS WE SPEAK

•my girl Momo showing us what she’s made of

•Aizawa is proud of two smart little shits

•Todo is an awkward gentleman. Something he DIDNT get from his father

•Momo starts crying and covers her mouth. Todoroki:”what’s wrong? Do you feel sick? If you’re feeling nauseous we can call recovery girl” a. GENTLEMEN. He drinks his good boi and respect women juice daily

Episode 36: Stripping The Varnish

•Aoyama. Bruh. Why are you like this lmao

•Nezu is a fucking MANIAC BEAST WHAT THE FUCK we need more Mouse Hero

• “times like this he gets his vengeance” THEYRE KIDS RECOVERY GIRL

•Mic why is your face like that jfc

•KODA IS SO FUCKING PRECIOUS WHY DONT WE GET MORE OF HIM???

•”YOU CAN TALK???” It’s been like a good couple of months right? He just hasn’t talked the whole time? Honestly, respect. KODA IS AMAZING

•the fact that Hagakure just gets fucking naked so she can be completely invisible is hilarious

•”MisteR SNIPE YOU PERVERT”

”I COULDNT SEE YOU IM SORRY” poor Snipe lmao

•WHY IS MINETA TRYING TO BE A HERO WHEN ALL HE DOES IS CRY AND RUN AWAY (WHY IS HE CRYING BLOOD???)

•Lmao Sero you didn’t stand a chance sweetheart

•Oooooh so that’s Midnight’s quirk. Okay makes. A little sense I guess. But fuck I love her

•Ah. That’s why he wants to be a hero. He’s creepy and pervy but fuck that was actually a good plan

Episode 37: Katsuki Bakugou: Origin

•IT’s OUR FAVORITE ANGRY BOI. Please Katsuki. I’m begging. Take ALL the chill pills. Just once

•”Why does he always have to make things so difficult” you’ve known him literally all your life you know why. It’s because he’s an asshole

•Midoriya: PLEASE stop yelling

Bakugou: feral yelling continues

•Bakugou why are you like this

•All Might killed a child wow

•Bakugou 110% deserved that punch, good on you Midoriya

•he didn’t directly blow him up that time at least that’s a tiny bit of progress

•”Ah. They got me” All Might is so cute

•”They’re actually pretty smart. They just lose all sense when it comes to each other...They have so many complicated emotions when it comes to the other they don’t even know how to interact anymore” I don’t ship it but that’s pretty fucking gay

•”Your teachers going to do his best to school you” ALL MIGHT SNAPPED

•KB: ”When he shows up it’s my turn to blast him”

AM: “Say that to my face you Limp Noodle”

•Nice teaching just beat one student WITH another one nice All Might

•All Might literally broke Deku’s back what the fuck

•”It’s time to sleep. Goodnight Young Bakugou” ALL MIGHT YOURE KILLING HIM BRUH

•Lmao the angry Pomeranian fucking bit him I’m crying

•THATS MY MESSED UP BOIS

•Recovery Girl is just like All Might if you don’t lighten the fuck up I’ll beat your ass they are CHILDREN and she’s right

•OFFICIAL DABI AND TOGA INTRO IM SO FUCKING PUMPED DABIDABIDABI

Episode 38: Encounter

•”right now I go by Dabi”

“No I want to know your REAL name”

“I’ll tell you when you need to know” IT’S TOUYA TODOROKI THANK YOU VERY MUCH TOUYA CALL YOUR MOTHER

•Shiggy, Dabi, and Toga LITERALLY all at each other’s throats:

Kurogiri: Mom Mode Activated

•”DONT YOU GET IT MIDORIYA OR DID ALL MIGHT KNOCK ALL THE BRAINS OUT OF YOU” DENKI WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ATTACK MIDORIYA LIKE THAT HE WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP

•Aizawa and his logical deception is Class 1A’s Cry Wolf

•Kiri immediately went to Bakugou and was like you’re coming shopping with us right, right? Kiri your pining is killing me you’re not subtle honey but I love it

•”you’re going to scare the children” says the guy with the demon shadow bird that flies out of his chest Tokoyami I love you

•JIROU AND MOMO I love two lesbians

•Kiri the man in charge love my boy

•”GOTTA KEEP THOSE PEST AWAY”

“DO YOU MEAN ME???” Lmao poor Midoriya

•Shiggy you’re so fucking CREEPY

•Finally see Shiggy’s whole face. THIS IS YOUR MANS YALL??? BRUHHH

•Poor Mido he can never catch a break

•Shiggy this just looks like really gross PDA you crusty creep

•”I can’t just run away every time I get flustered” yes you can Uraraka, that’s what I do, live your dream girl, run away from boys

•Wow they actually went to the police their first smart move

•ALL MIGHT IS IZUKU’S ADOPTIVE DAD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT HIS BOY YOU COULD TELL

•”there’s a good chance that he or another student could be targeted” ForEShAdOwInG

And that concludes Season 2! Season 3 time baby!! God I need a life outside of this

[missjackil]

My 14x13 Opinion

Lebanon The 300th Episode

I am so proud of this episode and so blown away by how awesome these last 4 episodes have been! Might be an unpopular opinion guys but I really like this season! Sure its had some duds like Optimism and The Scar (Though The Scar had a great broment) but I thought we’d be getting Leader!Sam this season but we have emotionally wrecked!Sam instead, and Im here for that! Needless to say I LOVED this episode, I was so pleased with pretty much everything and I have no big complaints, so lets have at it! I enjoyed the lightness of the beginning, and getting a look at the town. Im so pleased they FINALLY noted that Lebanon KS is the geographical center of the country! So the boys can get anywhere in the country within a day and a half. Its kinda weird though that Lebanon seems to have 3 different post offices. The one from Something About Mary, the one from The Spear, and now this one. LOL thats no big deal so lets move along. 

It was funny that the dude in the pawn shop committed suicide by Winchester, which of course is trying to, or successfully killing one gets you killed by the other, and Dean acknowledges that they all talk too much LOL.

The kids talking about the rumors about the boys was fun but I really wasnt impressed by “cool chick” Max. I liked the boy in the hat though, he was great. Stealing Baby is also suicide by Winchester but Sam and Dean dont go around killing teenagers so, they got lucky. 

I was amuzed by the ghost of John Wayne Gacey clown, and Dean being all “You love serial killers but hate clowns!” and Sam being like “I get it Dean” but Im really glad they didnt make Sam act like he was scared like the other times before. It just wouldnt have fit well into this episode I dont think. Saving Dean is more urgent than a clown fear right? 

Moving on to the meat, and this was as meaty as an episode can get! Dad comes because Dean makes a wish. It seems Dean’s desire to have his family together is more of a desire than getting ole Mike out of his head, and thats really pretty sweet. Dad recognizes the boys right away, which is cool especially since Sam looks NOTHING like he did back in 05, let alone 03 but John says “What happened to you?” I reckon they aged 15+ yrs Pops!

The boys give Dad the nutshell version of their lives over shots of whiskey, because, how else could you do it? But man, John’s face when he hears Mary’s voice was amazing! And I dont even like Mary but, good lord if she didnt nail these scenes!  My hear crumbled, their reunion kiss was completely believable even though we never saw them kiss on the show before. I saw some of you whine that John didnt ask permission first... really? I could see if they were gonna have sex, but when does anyone on TV ever ask to kiss someone?? Not very often. It was by far the most romantic thing Ive ever seen on this show, 

Like typical Winchesters, Dean is sucked into whats right before him and Sam is worried about the big picture. But Sam doesnt lean too hard on Dean about it, lets all have the nice family dinner we’ve never had. 

While compiling a shopping list with Mom, Dean leaves Sam alone with Dad. This scene was .... WOW... so well written and brilliantly acted. I had been wondering how Sam and John would hash things out and this was so much better than I invisioned. Its so in character for the Sam we have watched grow over the last 14 years to get over the bad and focus on the good, because those you love can be taken away in a heartbeat and being left with hard feelings is the worst. All he can think of is seeing Dad dead on the floor and he never got to say goodbye. and he never got to smooth things over. Sams emotions were raw and real! Jared really let Sam feel it, all the regret and anger and loneliness, melts away and turns into “but you loved us.... and thats enough” It was so refreshing to get so much emotional POV from Sam. Something we;ve gotten more of this season than we ever have. It hurts like a mother... but its worth it. 

After the heart shattering talk, Sam composes himself and tells Dean hes right. This was a good thing even if its jut temporary. He asks Dean if he wants company for shopping, and this is like Sam wanting to hold on to his rock (Dean). This is precious.

The boys leave Mom and Dad alone, and go shopping. Now we discover that the timeline has shifted and they have alternate selves. Dean is a wanted criminal and Sam, omg lol Sam is flaming TED talking douchebag that wears turtlenecks, loves Kale, doesnt drink coffee, and doesnt see the need for hobbies or family. But, I gotta say hes lovely in glasses 😎

This inevitably means that not only will Mom disappear, but the boys wont have the relationship they do, and we know, thats a fate worse than the universe exploding. Meanwhile we get a guest appearance by Zachariah and Cas, and Cas is back to S4-ish Cas and possibly even more of a dick. Sam and Dean find them as theyre about to kill the teenagers from earlier and save them. Cas of course doesnt know them from Adam but Zach does. A fight ensues and I just have to state very clearly that Dean went after cas with the angel blade with no second thoughts. Zach attacks Sam and tries to kill him, but Sam kills him instead. Now thats poetic to have been killed by both Winchesters at different times! 

Now Cas is trying to kil Sam, which as we know, never goes over well with Dean, but Cas really nails Sam HARD in the face and Sam spews blood all over! That was pretty graphic and dramatic! Well full strength douchebag angel or not, Dean doesnt let you beat on Sam. so heattacks Cas, and Cas is about to kill Dean. There is no “Cas its me!! Fight this!! I love you!!” like all the hellers wanted and predicted LMAO instead Sam writes a sigil with his blood and zaps Cas away.

Back at home, yet another highly emotional scene as Sam tells Mom why they have to let Dad go... she would just fade away and they would become their “other” selves. Mary cries real tears. and Sam overflows again. God my heart!! Dean talks to Dad and Dad is more than willing to lay his life down for Mom. They all sit solomly at the dinner table. Oddly enough Sam is the only one eating, and Im sure theres meta in there somewhere.... all I can think of at the moment is that hes distracting himself from the painful slence, and hes the only one who never really had Winchester Surprise. John decides to lighten the mood and be grateful for this time, and they all follow suit. And it was glorious!! My boys laughing and eating and enjoying themselves with mom and dad, I just dont know what words to give this scene! 

Afterwards, Sam and Dean are washing dishes together #husbros and they briefly discuss keeping it the way it is. I mean really.... Mom may disappear and they wont be insanely co-dependent, but Michael wont be in Dean’s head anymore, because nothing leading up to it would have ever happened. Dean says hes good with who he is, and hes good with who Sam is, and hes just too old to want to change it. 

The farewell scene was nothing less than earth shattering painful. Dean was surprisingly calm and stoic, though he had many tears. It was as if on purpose, he let Sam and Mom have all the emotions. John hugs his sons one last time. and tells them he’s so proud of them, Poor Sam is gutted. He cant even pretend he isnt crying. Dad tells them he loves them. Dean says he loves him too. Sam cant get words out so he wipes his face and nods. In a beautiful paralell from the old days when John told Dean “Take care of Sammy” and Dean answers “I always do” John says “Take care of each other” and Sam answers “We always do”😭😭😭😭😭😭John takes Mary’s hand and Sam in obvious pain crushes the pearl and Dad fades away. He wakes up in Baby back in 2003 believing he had a good dream. 

Now we have to wait a freakin month for the next episode. But Ill be ok. I think I need a break from all the emotions of the last several episodes because the next couple will probably be less dramatic. This is ok, if every episode was this emotional, even that would get old fast. We only have 7 episodes left and I dont want to rush to the end of the season for a freakin 6 month hiatus!! AGGGHHHHH!! 

Overall I am in love with this episode. It may have moved itself into first place but it has at least tied. This episode definitely met and exceeded my expectations, and last week I thought it wouldnt be able to beat that one. Im so proud of SPN, the writers, and the cast of this episode Ill give them all a standing ovation 👏👏👏👏👍💖 I think its abundantly clear now that Dabb DOES care about the brother bond and doesnt give a rats ass about dean/cas in fact it looks as if the next few episodes might be Dean lite... but we never really know till we watch the episodes.

In conclusion. on a scale from Bloodlines to Who We Are, Lebanon is a 10. Well done show.... well done! Now onward to the 400th episode!!

[cool-guysyndrome]

(I was gonna post this to Instagram first but the story got too long so here sees it first skkdhdh)

Title: dammit why do i always give the angst a resolution

TW: anxiety attack, heckloads of angst, swearing because virgil+stress=i get to write swearwords

Patton paced the dimly lit room, becoming more agitated with every step. He didn't know where he was, why he was there, how he got there, anything. It was awful being completely in the dark, thrown randomly into some foreign place with no forewarning or instructions. He had so many questions that it was hard to think at all. Where were his friends? Were they okay? Were they even in the same place as him? What if they were across the country or something? How would he find them? Where even was this country? Was he in a country? Why was he in a weird castle thingy on a mountain? It was scary up so high. What were these weird clothes he was wearing? What was wrong with him? Why could he suddenly create a weird green fire with his hands? Was he going crazy?

Patton sat down and leant against the cold stone wall, trying to steady his breathing. Was this how Virgil felt when he had an anxiety attack?

He looked down at his hands, scared to accidentally replicate the spectacle he had made when he went outside and set a tree on fire.

"Maybe i can control it?" He thought aloud. Worth a try.

Patton shut his eyes and tried to focus his thoughts on the tingly feeling that had spread through his fingertips when he made the fire the first time. Sure enough, he felt a soft heat begin to emanate from where his hands were outstretched, and when he opened his eyes he saw the small green flame dancing across his fingertips.

He found that he could make the flame larger or smaller by mentally compressing it, like a camera's focus lens. It was amazing, but at the same time it scared Patton more than any fear he'd ever felt before. This wasn't a kind power. This was something destructive, something dangerous. If this power was any clue to why he was in this strange place, it was not a comforting one.

Patton released his mental hold on the fire and it dissipated into nothing. He realised with a start that he had been crying while watching it, and he wiped his cheeks dry with a sleeve.

Whatever this was, it wasnt going to be easy, and how his heart ached every time he thought about the others was really not helping. Especially Virgil. Sweet, lovely Virgil, who was always kind and worried for Patton as much as his mother did, was probably hurting just as much as he was. That thought would have killed Patton, but his thoughts were mercifully interrupted by a-

---

-'CRASH!'

"Fuck. Just when i thought my day couldn't get better huh."

Virgil glared at the fallen ornament like it was personally responsible for all the wrongs in the world, which it probably was in his eyes.

He crouched down with a sigh and picked up the broken pieces of ceramic. There were far too many breakable things in this stupid palace for someone as clumsy and lazy as him to be around.

He found some servant to give the pieces to, waving off their apologies and persistent praise. It was exhausting, all this social interaction. Virgil wondered how Roman ever wished for this kind of thing, but he supposed Roman was the only person crazy enough to like it.

He kept walking, slow enough to still pass as a walk, but fast enough that he could escape to his room as quickly as possible. Finally he reached safety, locking the door behind him. He sunk to the floor, exhausted.

"This place is fucking crazy. I think im going crazy." He told the empty room.

"I dont know what they want me to do half the time, and they treat me like the fucking king of the universe more than some stupid prince. I just want to go home and not have to deal with this stupid, stressful, nonsensical place and its mad inhabitants!"

He ran a hand through his hair.

"Inhabitants? What am I saying? Fuck, i sound like Logan."

Logan. The others. Shit. "Great now thats just a whole other problem as well. Wonderful. Fucking fantastic!"

Virgil stood up and took his cape off, tired if the heavy and unnecessary clothes. He started to anxiously pace the room, caught up in a flurry of thoughts that were making it a little hard to breathe.

"Shit. Shitshitshit. The others. Are they safe? I need to go find them. Are they even here? What if theyre in trouble? Logan and Roman might be okay on their own, but Pat..."

Virgils voice trailed off as his mind thought a horrible, terrible thing. Patton. Gentle, bubbly Patton, the light of his life, could be in danger. Or worse, already hurt. Virgil fell back to the floor, every inhale more of a struggle than the last. His whole body filled up with an overwhelming sense of dread that drowned out any of his attempts to calm himself down. His heart began to pound like it wanted to escape his chest, and he pulled at his hair like he wanted to rip it out. He thought he heard a strangled scream from someone nearby. Why were they screaming? He should be the one screaming. Then he realised that it was his own voice, and he was the one emitting the heartbroken cry. He managed to stop his screams but there was no ceasing the sobs that wracked his body as he lay curled on the floor, his mind repeating a single horrible thought a million times-

---

-over Patton's head flew a tiny streak of black, and it seemed to be hurt because it wasnt flying in a very coordinated fashion. One wing was flapping a lot less than the other.

Patton waited for the little animal to settle, then he stood a few feet away from where it had landed on the table.

"Hey, hey, I'm not gonna hurt ya. You look like you need a bit of help, actually, little guy."

He started moving towards the table very slowly so he didnt startle the creature.

"Hey, its okay, im gonna help you, alright? Lets have a look at that wing."

Patton continued to talk soothingly to the little creature until he was close enough that he could reach out and touch it. He saw that the animal was a small black bat, and one of its wings had a splinter of wood in it, not enough to do bad damage, but enough to affect its flying ability.

Patton slowly outstretched his hand, and waited for the small animal to make a move first, as a kind of permission. The little bat looked up at him with big black eyes with a shine of blue in them, and if it were human Patton would have sworn it was studying his face.

Then, all of a sudden, he heard a voice say, "Help?"

He nearly fainted.

"What?! Did you- did you just speak?!"

He watched the bat carefully, but its little face didnt move an inch even though he heard the voice clear as day. "Help wing?"

Patton couldn't help staring at the little creature.

"How are you doing that?!"

"Person help wing? Yes, no?"

"Oh my goodness gracious. And i thought the fire was weird."

"Help wing, yes, no?"

"Yes, yes, sorry, yes, ill help you. May i?"

Patton held out a hand to the bat's wing. The little creature obliged and lay its wing across his hand.

"If i ever see him again, i will definitely tell Virgil about this. He'll hate me for it because he's always wanted to talk to animals."

"Vir..gil?"

"Yea, hes my boyfriend."

"Oh. Boy Friend Virgil." The little animal seemed to think for a second, then it spoke again.

"Boyfriend, Virgil. I, Jazzy. You?"

"What?" Patton took a second to realise what the little creature meant.

"Oh, is that your name? Oh! Its lovely! I'm Patton!"

"Pat..ton. Patton. Patton help Jazzy."

"Yes, thats right, im helping you! By the way, are you a boy or a-

---

-Gurl you are a mess. You're lucky i can pick locks hun."

Remy closed the door quietly and went to sit beside where Virgil still lay on the floor.

"I heard you scream. Good thing i convinced those other losers that I'd handle this." He glanced down at Virgil again, noting his fists still clenched in his hair.

His voice was a bit more firm as he continued. "Virgil. Can i touch you?"

The purple-haired boy hesitated a moment, then shakily nodded through his hands. Remy gently pried his hands down from his hair.

"Can you sit up for me?"

Virgil did.

"Okay. Can you copy my breathing? 4-7-8 yeah?"

Virgil nodded.

Once Remy was sure that Virgil was no longer in such a bad state, he got him to sit on his bed and gave him a glass of water.

"Thanks." Virgil managed as Remy handed him the glass.

"Youre fine, gurl, i get this kind of thing a lot. The staff here get stressed all the time and someones gotta help calm 'em down, y'know?"

"Yeah."

"Besides, gotta have you in top condition so i can 'scold you' as Perce puts it, or as i like to say, roast your sorry ass."

"Really? What did i fuck up this time?"

"Oooh gurl you wouldnt believe it. So much that the cat wants your hide."

"The cat?"

"The cat."

Virgil wasn't quite smiling, but his eyes werent as sad any more.

Remy lay back on his bed like he owned it.

"Nah, I'm messing with ya."

"I know." Virgil couldnt help a small smile.

"Its not the cat, hun, its the rats that cat's chasing that want your blood. Have fun arguing with rodents."

"That bad huh?"

"Nah not really. Percy wants to help you with some stuff you were struggling with today."

"Struggling?" Virgil raised an eyebrow at the other man.

Remy chuckled. "Gurl, you and i both know you aren't really the prince. Gotta have someone in on the secret to help before everyone is."

"Touché."

After Remy left, Virgil lay back on his bed, realising just how exhausted he was. This wasn't going to get any easier. But maybe it could, at the very least, be possible.

[antihero-writings]

In Plain Sight –Pandora Hearts Fic for Phmonth18 Golden Trio Week – Day/Prompt 3: Friendship (Full fic)

Fic Title: In Plain Sight

Fic Synopsis: When Break hides Gilbert’s favorite Christmas ornament somewhere in the Rainsworth manor, the Golden Trio must spend the afternoon looking for it

Notes: I originally wrote this for the prompt “Ornaments” in an alphabetical Christmas prompt list my friends and I did last year. However, nobody got to read it last year, and since I didn’t get the chance to write anything for the first week of phmonth18, I wanted to at least post something, and decided this worked well for the Golden Trio! Especially since Christmas is fast approaching. I think it works best for the day 3 prompt: Friendship. I hope you like it! I had a lot of fun writing this, and am rather proud of how it turned out! I would really appreciate it if you left a comment to let me know if you enjoyed it!

I posted the entire thing here, but you can also read this on Ao3. It’s under the same title, by I_prefer_the_term_antihero

P.S. This is a repost of an old fic!

Fic:

“You’re the tallest, Gil, you should put the star on top!”

“Ooh! It looks yummy! Like a big cookie!”

“It’s not a cookie, Stupid Rabbit!”

It was a few days before Christmas, and the trio was at the Rainsworth manor. Finally, everything was ready for the holiday; a fire was dancing in its place, the stockings were all lined up on the mantle, and they had just put the finishing touches on the tree. The only one who hadn’t been informed about the festive season, was the sky outside; it had been raining for the past few weeks. There was a chill in the air, it was frosty, but snow hadn’t quite come yet. Still, they made the most of their time indoors.

“Perfect!” Oz exclaimed.

Oz Vessalius was the fifteen-year-old heir to the Vessalius dukedom, but after his escape from the Abyss that year, when he wasn’t off on adventures, and missions, he spent most of his time at the Rainsworth’s.

“It’s so pretty, Onii-chan!”

On account of the ten-year gap, Oz’s sister, Ada, was older than Oz now, but, no matter what, she would never stop seeing him as her older brother. She was on Christmas break from Lutwidge Academy, and more than happy to spend it at the Rainsworths, with her brother. She had, of course, brought her two cats—Snowdrop and Kitty—with her, (which Gilbert maintained a healthy distance from, due to his phobia of cats).

“The Rainsworths will have the best-decorated tree in town!”

Oscar, their uncle, was spending the afternoon with his niece and nephew too. He was a bearded, bespectacled man, with the same blonde hair and green eyes as the rest of his family. At the moment, he was sitting on one of the couches, with a cup what he called ‘tea’, but which the rest of them guessed probably had something stronger in it.

“I can’t take all the credit, Gil and Alice helped a little,” Oz joked.

“‘A little!’”

Gilbert was Oz’s servant; a dark-haired man, who often appeared cold and reserved, but who was rather sensitive, and a worrywart. He still sometimes acted as though they were only a year apart in age too, despite the fact that he was now ten years older than his master.

“Yeah, manservant!” Alice challenged, “More like we did all the work!”

“I was just teasing!”

“Well,” Sharon had a way of returning things to order with her calm and proper words, “you all did a wonderful job.”

Sharon was the heiress to the Rainsworth dukedom, and looked like a thirteen-year-old girl, though was really in her twenties or thirties—(they knew better than to ask her exact age). Her chestnut hair was usually tied back into a kind of half-ponytail, and, as always, she outmatched them all on style points; today it was with a dress of a wintery blue that looked as if she was trying to encourage the snow to fall. As per usual, she held a cup of tea in one hand—peppermint, she had informed them, for the Christmas season—and a pastry in the other. She was sitting at a small round table on the other side of the room, with Reim—duke Barma’s bespectacled, hard working, servant, who spent more time at the Rainsworth’s than anywhere else, with his two best friends—Sharon and Break.

“Well, I’m beat,” Alice stretched and yawned, “Seaweed-head, when are you going to make me some meat?”

Most Chains (creatures from the Abyss) didn’t look like Alice did; like a fourteen-year-old girl, with floor length brown hair, and an almost cat-like physique—(though it was a giant rabbit she often turned into). Also unlike other illegally contracted Chains, she did not have a thirst for human blood, although she did have a particular love for meat, as well as almost anything edible.

“I suppose I can make you something, now that we’ve finished,” Gil sighed.

“Oh? Have you now?” they turned to see Sharon’s servant, Xerxes Break, grinning as he poured himself another cup of tea. “Are you sure nothing’s…” he leaned back against the table, “missing?”

Break was a red-eyed, white-haired man, also much older than he looked. Even those close to him would say he was a bit of an acquired taste; his love for teasing, the creepy doll on his shoulder, and his general lack of regard for other people and their feelings, made it difficult for those subject to his mischiefs—such as Gilbert—to acquire any kind of affection for him.

Gilbert froze, turning his head slowly to the tree. His eyes immediately found the empty space where a certain ornament had been.

“Break!” he shouted, spinning back to him, “Must you do this every year?!”

“Let an old man have his fun.” Break grinned.

“I believe he must, Gilbert-sama,” Sharon answered Gilbert’s question, nonchalantly taking a sip of tea before continuing, “It has become something of a tradition.”

“I should have spent Christmas with he Nightrays this year,” Gilbert grumbled, reluctance in his motions as he began to pick up books, and other objects around the room, as if searching.

“You’re so mean,” Break chided playfully, then spoke a little more seriously, knowing Gilbert had no intentions of spending much time with his adoptive family, and real brother, “You’d rather spend Christmas with the sewer rat, than us?”

Gil gave him a death glare.

“Sorry…but what’s a tradition?” Oz asked, turning to Sharon and Break.

He wouldn’t admit it, but sometimes, especially with things like this, the ten-year gap could make Oz feel like an outsider.

“Every year Break takes Gilbert-sama’s favorite ornament,” Sharon explained, “And hides it somewhere in the manor.”

“Ooh! That sounds like fun!”

“It’s not fun, Oz!” Gilbert hollered at his master, “It’s a waste of a perfectly good afternoon! Not to mention annoying, and rude!”

Break laughed. Gil had yet to learn his outrageous reactions were what made this sort of thing so fun for the prankster.

“Don’t worry, Gil!” Ada bounded up to him, “I’ll help you look!”

Gilbert flushed, “T-Thank you.”

“What does it look like, Gil?” Ada asked.

He looked at Oz, then turned back to Ada, and explained it quietly enough that only she could hear.

She nodded, beaming, and began to look in a different part of the room.

“What’s the matter, Gil?”—Gil gasped as his master appeared suddenly at his other side—“You don’t want me to know what it is?” Oz’s laugh faded into a more puzzled expression when Gil averted his eyes, turning redder.

“It’s a secret, Onii-chan!” Ada answered for him, “You’ll see when we find it!”

He didn’t get the chance to ask anything more, because Alice broke in, having been observing all their interactions,

“Does…Does this mean I won’t get my meat?”

“Uh huh,” Gilbert sighed, “That’s exactly what it means.”

“No! I will not allow it!” Alice shook her head, and whirled around on Break, pointing at him in an accusatory manner, “Clown! Return Seaweed-head’s stupid ornament his instant!”

“It’s not stupid, Stupid Rabbit!”

“Aren’t you a spoilsport?” The Mad Hatter teased, then the doll on his shoulder, Emily, finished,

“Why should I listen to some dumb bunny?”

Alice growled, her hands clenching into fists. She spun to Gilbert, declaring as she ran up to him,

“Then I won’t rest until I find that ornament! With the great Alice-sama on your side, you cannot fail!”

“Sure you won’t just get in the way?”

She kicked him in the shin, then crossed her arms, “You’d be lost without me, Seaweed-head.”

“Don’t kick me, Stupid rabbit!” he rubbed his leg, “Now go look for it over there!” he stamped his injured foot back down and pointed to the opposite corner of the room, (to which she quickly ran, proceeding to tear her designated space apart in a matter of seconds.)

“Is this ornament really all that important, Gil? I mean, we have lots of—”

“Yes!” he answered before his master could finish, “it is!”

Oz sighed, knowing how attached his servant could get to things, “Alright. So…is us helping against the rules?” he asked, watching Alice destroy the room in search of it, Ada calmly remove things, and put them back where they were meant to go, and Gil as a mix of the two.

“Don’t you think we would have stopped them if it was, Oz-kun?”

Sharon shook her head, “It doesn’t matter who finds it, watching him search is the fun part.” Her mischievous side was showing; most of the time she was this prim and proper lady, but being close to Break had its effects.

“That’s right; the more people searching, the funnier it is when they can’t find it,” Break sang. “Though, tell me, Ojousama,” he turned to his mistress “are you merely saying that because you wagered he’d find it early—before 18:00?” he asked knowingly, sitting up on the table—(Reim gave him a look that could only be interpreted as: can-you act-any-less-like-a-servant?)

They turned to the clock—it was 15:00.

“Why do you want to know, Break?” his mistress asked with a tone of false interest, “Are you afraid your skills as a prankster have gone down with age?” she patted her mouth innocently with a napkin.

“What do you take me for, Ojousama?” he smirked, crossing his legs, narrowing his eyes at Gilbert, “He’ll need all the help he can get.”

Gilbert returned to him an even more murderous look.

“You… betted on this?”

“All part of the tradition, Oz-kun,” Break mentioned, stealing a mini pastry from Reim’s plate—(the incense was more than evident on Reim’s face, and probably why Break did it).

“It’s not money we wagered, though; If I win, Break has to swear off sweets over Christmas—as well as make me a lavish dessert full of those sweet things he can’t have. And if Break wins, I have to buy him an equally lavish amount of extra Christmas candy and sweets.”

“Nice! Break, I didn’t know you could bake!”

“He really can’t,” Sharon chuckled, “But it’s fun to see what he comes up with.”

Break glared at her.

“So… is this how you bet every year?”

“Sometimes it’s different. But it’s usually something to the effect of giving Break a taste of his own medicine…Though I seem to recall one year, I wanted Break to do this dance I had heard of in a book, if he lost. I believe it was called ‘Futterwacken.’”

“That’s a weird name for a dance!” Oz laughed, “So? How did that go?

“I suppose it is,” she smiled, “That was one of the tamer punishments, but, when he did lose, he refused—rather blatantly.”

“Really?!” he turned to Break.

“How many times must I tell you? I have no talent for dancing.”

“Truly, as a servant of the Rainsworth Dukedom, it would be better fitting that you learned,” she shook her head, then turned back to Oz, “Anyway, after that, we thought the chance to take away his candy was rather enjoyable.”

“Aw, I want to join the bet!”

Gilbert looked affronted, but before he could speak, Oz continued, boyish excitement simmering in his tone,

“Say, what if, if Break loses, I get to eat his candy instead?!”

Sharon and Break glanced at each other.

“Let me ask you something, Oz-kun;” Break set down his tea, “Are you willing to risk the consequences of such a wager?”

“Ehh…consequences?”

“Why of course. I couldn’t give little Oz-kun the chance of stealing my candy without the proper torment in store if he lost.”

“Eh…” Oz knew just how mean Break could get, and that this could very well turn into a prank war that ended in actual blood, “I think I’ll pass.”

“I always said you were smarter than you looked,” the Mad Hatter picked up his tea again.

“Maybe you could join in by helping me look, instead of encouraging them, Oz!” Gilbert whirled on him.

“Aww, do I have to?” the fifteen-year-old groaned.

“Oz!”

Oz turned to the masterminds, as if silently asking for them to give him an excuse not to.

“Hey, Oz-kun is sharp,” Break began, then Emily added,

“Probably smarter than these three put together!”

—two of the aforementioned three gave him what can only be described as ‘fight-me’ faces, and Ada looked disheartened—Break took no notice, and finished,

“So that depends; whose side are you on?”

“Well,” Oz thought for a moment, then mused, grinning, “it would be fun to see Break trying to swear of candy!”

“Is that so?” Break’s eye narrowed.

“In any case, why isn’t Reim-san helping?” he shifted the focus. “You’re not the kind of person to sit back while others are in trouble”

Reim sighed, pushing his glasses up on his nose. “While that may be true, these two are often harsher with me, than others. If I help you, I have a feeling I shall pay for it in some way later,” he shot them an icy look, “dearly.”

“Whatever do you mean, Reim-san?” Sharon asked innocently. “We thought you enjoyed our company.”

“Yeah, it’s only because you’re our favorite, Reim-san,” Break gave a fake sappy voice.

“Then pick a new favorite!”

“That’s not how it works! You have a lifetime guarantee!”

“Sharon,” it was Ada who spoke. She had been focused on searching on the mantelpiece, and inside the stockings, “Why are there nine stockings?”

“What do you mean, Ada?” Oz asked, stepping over to her.

“Well, I was just thinking; there’s me, Onii-chan, Uncle, and Alice,”—Alice looked annoyed at Ada mentioning her name—“since we’re staying here for Christmas,” she pointed at each of the stockings in turn, “and these belong to Sharon-sama, Break, Duchess Rainsworth-sama, and Reim-san, right? But who does this last one belong to?” she held the bottom of the last one, careful not to pull it off the mantle.

They turned to Break and Sharon, who glanced at each other, their mischievous grins fading into more somber, reminiscent expressions.

“It was Break’s idea,” Sharon answered.

“Well, I can’t take all the credit—“

“It’s for my mother…That has become something of a tradition as well. We just thought it would be nice, to have something to remember her by during the Christmas season.”

The tone in the room quieted; the rest of them knew that Shelly was Sharon’s mother, who had died sometime after Oz’s coming of age ceremony.

“That’s…actually really sweet,” Oz noted, “Break, I’m surprised you thought of it!”

“You think you’re cute, don’t you? And you say that like I’m cruel.”

“Well…” Oz rubbed the back of his neck, smiling nervously, trying to formulate a non- insulting answer in his mind.

“I think what Oz is trying to say,” Reim started out gently, then finished harshly, “Is that it’s high time you realized you can be a jerk, Xerxes!”

“Well, I wouldn’t say jerk’…” Oz began.

“I would,” Gil mumbled.

“My…I cant believe that you all….” Break began softly, then Emily jeered,

“Just figured that out now!”

The anger was evident on all of their faces.

“Really, why are you all ganging up on me,” Break grinned, without a hint of hurt in his voice, “when you should be focusing on the task at hand?”

“Because it’s your fault we’re in this mess!” Gilbert shouted, then ran his hand frustratedly through his hair, observing the mess they had made of the room, before demanding, “Is it in this room?!”

“Given up already, have you?” Emily teased.

Gilbert clenched his hands into fists, biting back a retort.

“Did anyone see him leave the room?!”

Everyone looked at Gilbert blankly, or up at the ceiling, trying to think if they had, realizing they had no idea, and knew full well Sharon could have used Eques to transport him when their backs were turned anyways. Gilbert put his hands on his hips, sighing at their silence “Alright. We have a whole manor to look through, it’s best we move on from this room,” he paused, turning again to Break, with malice in his eyes, “Right?”

“Sure, kiddo!” Emily replied, and he gave the fakest grin yet.

Gilbert gritted his teeth, then shook his head, directing them,

“Let’s split up; Ada, you go down the left hall, Stupid Rabbit, you take the right. I’ll go downstairs.”

“I won’t let you down, Seaweed-Head!” Alice sped down the hall, not even searching, as if she had forgotten the task she’d been given.

Ada nodded, “Come on, Snowdrop, Kitty!” she called to her cats.

Oz sighed, “Alright, fine. I’ll help too.”

Gilbert smiled, about to thank him, when Oz added,

“But I expect to be rewarded for my troubles!”

His servant rolled his eyes.

“I kinda need to know what it looks like, though, don’t I, Gil? You seemed to want to keep it a secret earlier.”

“You’ll…um….You’ll know it when you see it,” Gilbert looked anywhere but at his master.

Oz sighed, putting his hands on his hips, “Really? That kinda makes things harder, you know.”

“Oh, not up to the challenge, are you Oz-kun?” Break goaded.

“No, no, I can do it! I just feel like we’re not addressing a key part of the puzzle here!”

With that Gilbert pulled him out of the room and into the search.

Gilbert was right; it did seem like a bit of a waste of an afternoon; exhausting wasn’t the only word that came to mind after rifling through each room one by one, with no clue as to where it might be. Especially because the feeling began growing in them that Gilbert was way too attached to things, as well as that Break was, indeed, a jerk. They didn’t know how much time had passed before they met up again in the hall, everyone hanging their heads in shame and disappointment.

“What should we do?” Ada asked quietly.

“We can’t let the clowny bastard win!” Alice slammed a fist into her other palm to emphasize her point.

“That’s right!” Gilbert agreed, “For years I had to put up with his constant teasing, it’s high time we got him back!”

“I don’t think losing the bet is really going to make him stop. I mean, he’s lost before, right?”

“You don’t have to be so blunt about it!” Gilbert complained.

“Sorry,” Oz shrugged.

In the moment of silence that followed, Ada’s cat started rubbing against Oz’s leg, as if trying to comfort him.

“What do you think, Snowdrop?” Oz asked jokingly, picking up his sister’s cat, (Gilbert eyed it, a whine developing in his throat, scooching away), “Do you have any idea where it is?”

Oz gasped.

“What is it, Onii-chan?”

Tied into the cat’s collar was a ribbon, attached to a little ornament. He pulled it free and placed the cat on the floor (it meowed and padded away).

The other three gasped in turn, leaning in to get a better look at it.

“That bastard!” Gilbert slammed his fist into the wall behind him. “He knew I wouldn’t go near your cats!”

“Yeah,” Oz laughed, “leave it to Break to take the cheap shot.”

“What are we waiting for?!” Alice demanded, “Didn’t I just say we can’t let the clowny bastard win!”

“You’re right!” the others said together, and bolted down the hall.

“We found it!” Oz held the ornament high, like a trophy, as they burst through the door.

At the same moment that he held up the evidence, the hour chimed.

They each glanced at each other, then at the clock, which read exactly 18:00.

“My, my, isn’t this an interesting turn of events?” Break remarked, stretching, “It looks like it’s a tie, Ojousama.”

“It would appear,” Sharon smiled “In that case, would you please excuse me for a moment?” she gathered her dress and hurried out of the room.

“So, which one of you found it?” Break asked, walking over to them.

“I did.”

The prankster smirked, “What did I tell you?” he ruffled Oz’s hair, “Oz-kun’s sharp.”

“So… what does that mean about your wagers?” Oz tried to put his hair right. “Since you tied?”

“Just a moment Oz-kun,” he put his hand on Oz’s head, his sleeve falling over his eyes, and looked over their heads

Sharon quickly did return, a little out of breath, holding a small package wrapped in a ribbon.

“Here you are, Break!” she held it out for him.

He took it from her and unwrapped it, opening the little red box to reveal that it was filled with the the candy she had promised.

“Just the thing I needed” he patted her head, unwrapping a piece and tossing it into his mouth. “Better luck next time, Ojousama,”

Oz and Alice stared at him, open-mouthed, dumbstruck that he had beat them.

“Now I suppose I should get started on that dessert of yours,” he waited until the proper moment to add.

“Please do.”

“Huh?” Oz and Alice asked simultaneously.

“Since we tied,” Sharon spoke, as they both turned to them, “we both win.”

“So…does that mean the clown still has to swear off candy?” Alice asked hopefully.

“No—Unfortunately,” Sharon added, glancing at her servant, who rolled his eyes, eating another piece, “We both get the rewards of the wager, but no one gets the punishment.”

“More in the Christmas spirit, wouldn’t you agree, Ojousama?” he said between candy crunches.

“Since when do you care about ‘Christmas spirit’?!” Gilbert demanded.

“Better luck next year, I guess,” Oz tried to put a positive spin on it.

“Next year?!” Alice fumed, “I want to settle this now!” (Gilbert held Alice by the neck of her jacket.)

“Believe me,” Reim grunted, eyeing Break, “it’ll only end worse for you,”

“Who knows?” Break shrugged, “There may not be a next year, Oz-kun.”

Alice continued to seethe while the others glanced at each other, unsure of how to respond to such a statement.

“There you go again,” Reim scolded. “You can’t just mention something like that!”

Break dismissed him with a wave of his hand, chuckling to himself, and muttering something about his uptightness, as he made his way down the hall to the kitchens.

After Break left, Oz looked down at his hand, opening his fingers to reveal the little clay, painted oddity he was still holding. Alice came behind him and looked over his shoulder at it.

“What…is it?”

“You didn’t know what you were looking for?!” Gilbert questioned.

“Because you never told me, Seaweed-head!”

Gilbert looked away, clearly wanting to bite back, but without argument with which to do so.

Oz shook his head, staring at it. It was rather crudely made, ineptly painted. But he couldn’t mistake it for anything else—and Gil had been right, he did know it when he saw it.

Because he was the one who made it.

“I can’t believe you kept this, Gil.”

Gilbert looked away, nodding and turning red.

Now he understood why Gilbert was so intent on getting it back. This ornament had probably become a symbol to Gilbert—much like Shelly’s stocking on the mantelpiece was for Break and Sharon—for Oz himself. This ornament, through the years, had probably become tied to his faithful valet’s unending hope that his master would come back. Each year Break took it, as if teasing that perhaps he wouldn’t (and, maybe this was his roundabout way of him trying to prepare him for that), but Gilbert always got it back, as if displaying that he would never lose that hope.

“Oy! What is it?!” Alice demanded again, upset her ‘manservant’ wasn’t focusing all his attention on her.

“It’s a bird, Alice,” Oz answered simply.

“Really, how do you figure?”

“Yeah, it doesn’t look very good does it?” Oz laughed.

“Seaweed-head, why would a crappy ornament like this be your favorite?”

“Oy! You don’t see me criticizing your bad taste!”

“Bad taste?! I have impeccable taste! I eat meat every day!”

“That’s not what—”

“Its because I made it for him,” Oz answered her question quietly.

“You?” Alice laughed, slapping him on the back, “You have pretty poor skills, Oz.”

“Give me a break! I was a kid!”

Oscar laughed, walking up to them, “You’re still a kid, Oz. Yes…I can’t remember how old he was, but he made me, Ada, and Gilbert ornaments,” he laughed a little, putting his arm around Gilbert, “I remember how offended Gil was at his master making him a gift.”

“Yeah,” Oz laughed, they all looked up at Gil, who got steadily redder the more they spoke, “We had to force him to accept it.”

“Why are you surprised he kept his, Onii-chan?” Ada asked, “Uncle and I kept ours. They’re back at the Vessalius manor. But! we could bring them over here if you want!”

“That’s okay, I believe you! Still… Like Alice said, they don’t look very good.”

“But, like you said, you were the one who made them for us,” Oscar ruffled his nephew’s hair.

“What were the ornaments you made for them, Oz?” Alice asked.

“Well, I made Ada a little cat, and uncle Oscar a camera. I didn’t really know what Gil liked, so I just made him a bird. Funny, how your chain is Raven now.”

“How come you haven’t made me one, Manservant?!” Alice hit Oz on the head.

“Hey! I’ve been busy!” he rubbed the spot where she hit him.

“In any case,” Alice turned to Gilbert, jumping quickly to the next subject, “now you can make my meat, Seaweed-head!”

“Break’s using the kitchen, Stupid Rabbit!”

“Then let’s go to the market! I’m starving!”

Gilbert sighed into his hand, “Fine. Let me get my hat and coat.”

“Can I come with you guys?” Ada asked—Alice looked peeved, but Gil and Oz had already welcomed her.

“I’ll go check if Break needs anything!” Oz ran off towards the kitchen.

As Oz arrived, he saw that Break had changed out of his white coat and purple shirt into more casual closing—likely so he wouldn’t ruin his normal outfit. He had rolled up the sleeves, and was wearing a pink apron Gil sometimes wore when he cooked for them here, but which probably belonged to Sharon’s grandmother, or mother. He had already begun to make a mess of things; flour was all over the counter, chocolate was on the walls, somehow there were even ingredients in in his hair.

“You need some help?” Oz asked, half-jokingly.

Break looked up.

“Oz-kun,” he noted, then grinned, “You? Help me? Gotten bored of Gilbert-kun, and Alice-kun already?”

“Nah. I just wanted to know if you needed anything. We’re going to the store.”

Oz knew that Break could have asked for help from the staff, or Gilbert, but Sharon called him ‘Mr. One-Man-Show’ for a reason; sure, it might not taste or look all that good, but at least he would have made it himself.

“You really think I wouldn’t have come prepared?”

“But, if you won, you wouldn’t have to make—”

Oz gasped. Realizing something:

They both had bought the supplies ahead of time. Oz thought one of them would have to go to the store, depending on who won the bet, (perhaps dragging the other begrudgingly along), but they both had already bought the necessary ingredients. Which meant, either the food one of them bought would go to waste, or be used in some other way, or, regardless of who won or lost, they still intended to give each other the gifts.

“You already had the ingredients,” Oz thought out loud. “and Sharon-chan already had your candy…”

“So?”

“I would have thought one of you would have to go to the store, depending on who won.”

“What’s your point, Oz-kun?” Break pushed his hair back.

Oz shook his head, grinning like he now had some secret information. “Break, you really are a nice guy, aren’t you?”

Break put his hand on the table, turning to him, “Wipe that cheeky grin off your face before I do it for you.”

Oz put his hands behind his back, sauntering closer.

“Oh, nothing,” he whistled, “Just that, well, you do this every year, don’t you? Sharon likes to give you a taste of your own medicine if you lose, but you both use this an excuse to give each other extra gifts, don’t you? I bet it was your idea in the first place.”

“How do you know we weren’t planning to use the supplies in some other way?”

“Because you’re not considerate enough to let others use your stuff,” he grinned, “Didn’t you just say there would be punishment in store if I got your candy?”

“Well,” he smirked at Oz’s discovery, twirling the spoon in his hand, “‘nice’ would be stretching it. But maybe occasionally I’m not a complete ‘jerk.’”

Oz grinned. That was all the confirmation he needed.

As if he were brandishing a sword, Break flicked chocolate on Oz’s face with the spoon, “Now get out of here.”

Oz rolled his eyes.

“Good luck, Break!”

With that he exited the room, and ran to the front door to catch up with Gil, Ada, and Alice, who were gathered there, waiting for him.

“Break doesn’t need anything!” he called to them, “Let’s go!”

At first it may have seemed like a waste of time, but, in the end, Oz realized; an afternoon playing a game, learning that after ten years Gil had still cherished the small gift he had once been reluctant to accept, seeing how Sharon and Break found ways to bring each other joy, spending time with his friends, spending time with his real family, would never be a waste of an afternoon for him.