#i am a sad little clown right now

[magpietyy]

does anyone else get majorly depressed after being sick?

[huxianposts]

I know what you are...

ATTACHED

[five-miles-over]

Hi Mun 👋🏼 just found your blog off some tags lol

I would love it if you could do an age gap hc for joker? How would Arthur deal with developing feelings for a partner who is 10 or even 15 years younger than him?

Thank you so much!

Thanks for your patience, anon! I truly appreciate it. Also, Arthur's head canon turned into a bit of a fic, so I apologize for that.

Headcanon: Arthur Fleck Having an S/O Younger Than Him

"ID Please."

While Arthur accompanied you to the grocery store after your shift at work, you bought a bottle of wine to enjoy with the dinner you planned to cook for Arthur. He was coming over to your apartment for the first time, and you wanted to spoil him with a recipe you saw on a cooking show. So you bought all the ingredients, and a bottle of red.

The cashier glanced at you. "You're twenty-two huh? You look like you should be in high school."

You shook your head, flustered. "Um...thanks?"

After paying, you quickly left the store with your bagged groceries. But just when you reached for Arthur's hand, he flinched.

You didn't think much of it at first, but when you tried to talk to Arthur about something, he simply shrugged it off and said it was nothing

The truth is that, Arthur was still processing the fact that you were in your early twenties.

He knew you were a young beautiful woman, smart and kind. A total catch. And that part of Arthur, the part of his mind that told him he was an outcast and fed him nothing but negative thoughts, constantly said, "She could do so much better than you. You don't deserve her at all. She's the whole package, and what are you? Just some guy who can't even take her out to dinner."

He tried to hold it back as he saw other, bigger guys in Gotham walking with their partners, giving them bouquets of flowers wrapped in shiny plastic and other gifts, telling himself that someday he would do exactly that with you. But knowing that you were at ten years younger than him? That was just more fuel to the fire burning inside him.

"She's got her whole life ahead of her. She's going to find someone better, wait and see." The negative thoughts materialized again. "She's just with you out of pity. Date the sad clown, maybe she just wants to fool around. Wait and see. She's going to meet someone with a lot of money, a lot of status...She'll marry him, and when they're all sitting around at cocktail parties, she'll laugh about the time she dated a sad clown. And say she dodged a bullet."

"Arthur?" You tried to get his attention, and repeated his name a couple of times. "Arthur?"

Arthur, seemingly lost in thought, didn't respond until you stood in front of him, stopping him from crossing the street. "What happened?"

"Nothing," he lied. You crossed your arms, not having any of it. And this made Arthur laugh a bit, not out of amusement but out of fear. "Nothing, really," he lied again between laughs.

"Just tell me."

After a few moments of silence, Arthur simply asked. "Are you really twenty-two?...You're twenty-two."

"Yes. I am."

"That's young."

You shifted your weight to one foot. "I know that."

Arthur mirrored your gesture and swallowed. "So...well, I don't care. It's just young."

"I'm not that young," you rebuffed.

"Young enough that the cashier thinks you're in high school."

You put your hands on your hips, still carrying the bags of groceries. "Is that what this is about? He wasn't hitting on me!"

"No, but someone will," Arthur raised his voice a little. "You're young, what the hell do you know?"

"I know that you're my boyfriend and I love you. I don't care what some cashier says about me, and neither should you."

He shook his head. God how he loved the way you'd get so stubborn about your opinions. It was one of his favorite things about you, but right now, in this moment, it made him even more annoyed. How could you say such a thing, lying through your teeth? And with those three special words? "Bullshit," Arthur muttered, walking away from you to cross the street.

You followed him, huffing with your groceries. "Arthur Fleck, what is wrong with you?! Can't you just...Why are you so mad? Nothing happened! I'm still the same person I was twenty minutes ago."

"No. You're twenty-two." He turned around and lashed out. "You're twelve years younger than I am. What the hell's wrong with you? Hanging around with some old clown, waiting until some rich guy makes you his wife and you can leave me behind!" Your eyes widened. "Is that what you think of me?" Your lips quivered and tears formed in your eyes. "Is that seriously what you think this is, just...hanging around? Oh my god." You looked down as you felt a tear roll down your cheek.

Arthur visibly softened, reaching his hand out but stopping himself just before he could touch you. "I'm such an idiot," you sniffed. "You're right, what do I know?" "I'm sorry," Arthur sighed. "I didn't mean to make you cry." Arthur looked down, into your eyes. "I...was just shocked that you were younger. I thought it would...I don't deserve you. You're great, you're a perfect girl and I don't deserve you." He added, "I love you so damn much."

"I love you too," you looked up. "And I don't want to leave you." He laughed for a few moments with pain in his eyes, and bit the inside of his cheek to quiet down. "I'm so sorry," Arthur repeated and put his hands on your shoulders. "Oh my god, please don't cry. I'm so sorry." He took your grocery bags in his hands. "Let's go."

You and Arthur went back to your apartment, and didn't talk about your age for the rest of the night. But you did spend the evening together, telling each other - and showing each other - how much you really loved each other.

Joker Having an S/O Younger Than Him Would Include...

In complete contrast to Arthur, Joker finding out you were ten or fifteen years younger than him would excite him

He'd turn it into a complete kink, calling you his "personal little baby doll"

Whenever you'd go out, you'd be on his lap, him stroking your thighs and your hair.

Unless you were absolutely against the aesthetic, Joker would love to dress you in coquettish clothing - plaid mini skirts, knee-high white socks, white and pastel blouses that he would ruin with grease facepaint while making out with you, and corsets he would rip off you before having his way with you

And if you ever called him "daddy"? Watch out and be prepared to be dragged into the most private area by the Joker. Hope you didn't have any plans for the next...hour

In general, the Joker would be extremely protective of you, keeping his arm around your waist while you walked.

He'd spoil you with anything you ever wanted, acting almost like your sugar daddy while you window shopped.

And when it got cold, he'd put his red suit jacket over your shoulders saying, "Daddy's not going to let his baby doll freeze."

[daytaker]

greetings from clown anon, adored the fic very silly <33

i apologise if i’m filling up your inbox but may i ask for an mc that’s a mortician? that or is just desensitised to death and knows a lot about it, like i imagine whenever the brothers in early season 1 used to do like very specific threats mc would be like “uh actually that’s not how that works” essentially acting like a bit of a smart ass completely glossing over the actual threat

thanksies in advance (´∀｀*)

Clown Anon MCs - [ Clowncore MC | Death-Fixated Science Geek MC | LeVeyan Satanist MC ]

(I'll be real I have no memory of the specific threats and I was too lazy to go look for them but I will follow along the lines of the prompt anyway.)

I'm going to do this one in bullet point form. Hope that's okay.

(CW: a bit gross at times. not quite gore.)

Now I Am Become MC, Destroyer of Worlds: A Death-Fixated Main Character in Obey Me!

Read below the cut.

They're extremely curious about demon anatomy. And not in a kinky way. They want to see how similar the structure and layout of demon organs are to human organs. They want to get full body X-rays when those wings and tails pop up. They want to get it on video when they appear and disappear. Because what the fuck. Yeah, yeah, they get it, magic exists, but still, what the fuck?!

They fully expect Beel to keel over and die one day from overeating. There is no way any single individual can consume the way he does and survive. They're actually hoping that if he does, they'll be able to carry out the post-mortem and see what exactly was going on with that stomach of his. I mean, yes, they'll be very sad he's gone, but at least he'll have died as a martyr to science!

Dead shadow hog? Taxidermied. Dead fire newt? Taxidermied. Dead devil zebra? Brought home, dissected, taxidermied. The brothers don't really like to go to their room because of the constant dizzying stench of formaldehyde that comes from it.

Sometimes they'll just sit and stare at one of the brothers. If asked what they're doing, they'll simply say, "Observing." Reactions to this range from Beel's "Oh, okay," to Levi's "I'M GOING TO MY ROOM AND NEVER LEAVING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE."

So Solomon's immortal, is he? How immortal, exactly? Is it just that he'll never die from old age? Could he die of a disease? Surely he could die from injuries, right? Has he tested this? Can they test it? Please?

....Please?

Wait, wait, wait. Satan came from where? How? Why? What the hell? Lucifer, take your shirt off, they need to do some investigating. Satan, you too. Lucifer, show them your back. No scars? Not even from ripping your own wings off? Hm. Satan, do you have a bellybutton? ...That's weird, you definitely didn't need an umbilical cord. And you're saying he came out full-sized? Stop telling them it's magic! Magic is just science that people don't understand yet.

Actually, all of you get in here and strip, this has been a long time coming. MC needs to figure out what the hell is happening here.

Why not?

Pleeeease?

Satan, let's talk about one of your murder mysteries! They do this exactly one time, and never again because MC kept interrupting to point out plot holes and inconsistencies. It was so annoying. It kind of ruined the genre for him for a little while.

Leviathan, MC wants to ask you about how you survive underwater. Levi--- Hey, where are you going? Levi?

They write their paper on comparative anatomy of demons, angels, and humans. Diavolo gets a little queasy after the first page and gives them an A. He doesn't want to read the rest, he trusts they did a thorough job.

[courtingchaos]

An Excuse in the Form of Pie

Eddie Munson x Female Reader

Summary: A little Thanksgiving ditty for you, just a few days late. This is in my Rent universe but you can just read it on its own if you’d prefer. Takes place like a year into them dating.

Warnings: Sex

NSFW 18+ No Minors

Oh they shouldn’t have trusted either of you two to do shit asked of you. All Wayne had to do was huff at the cardboard box that he was unloading onto your mom’s counter and Eddie was at the front door with your hand in his.

“What’d you forget?” He asked it too enthusiastically, earning a hard side eye from Wayne.

“The buttermilk pie.”

“We can go grab it.” Eddie already had the door open with you nodding along behind him.

“It’s not a two person job.” Wayne’s gaze never falters off his nephew or you, just a raise of his eyebrows while you two practically jitter out of your skin.

“What if my hands get cold? We can share the load, right Samwise?” Eddie has mischief all over his face when he glances at you over his shoulder. It’s in the dimples on his cheeks and the crinkles around his eyes. Those shine with giddiness that he’s been trying to tamp down all morning.

Wayne relents wordlessly, a toss of his hands upwards and another huff. “Nothing wise about either of you.” Muttered as he turns to help your mom with the unwrapping of casseroles.

Your aunts came in two days ago and he hasn’t had a moment alone with you since, all of it spent at your place in your mom’s living room listening to three middle aged women gossip. It was fun for the first day but when he realized you were essentially being held hostage and he couldn’t get even a quick feel up in the hallway without someone calling for you. A trailer not much bigger than his own and it was swarming with people and you kept getting lost in the throws.

“How long before they send out a search party?” Eddie asks while stomping up his front steps and unlocking the door, everything done in a rush like he’s running from your extended family.

“Well bud, I think Wayne already knows.” Your laugh follows him into the dark trailer before he yanks you in with him.

“Bud?!”

“Yeah, my buddy that I sleep with.”

“Is that all I am to you?” He pulls you against his chest in the midst of giggles and a tangle of feet trying to rid themselves of shoes. “Just a warm buddy you can take advantage of?” He asks like he isn’t the one manhandling you down the short hallway to his room. Your protests fall on deaf ears though as he nods along all aloof like and blindly slaps around behind his back for his doorknob.

“Seriously Eddie we gotta be quick, I don’t want Wayne marching over.”

“Hey.” He pulls away to point at you. “You don’t get to make fun of me when it’s over in under a minute, capiche?”

You laugh into his mouth while trying to kiss him and also trying to pull at his belt. His hands immediately find their way under your blouse, a lavender colored satin thing your mother forced you into that morning. He’d made a comment about you looking like one of those sad porcelain clowns and you’d thrown a serving spoon at him.

Now though you can’t get enough of his teasing mouth. His teeth that nip and pull away to draw you closer to his bed, his tongue that sneaks out to lick at the corner of your lips.

“Eddie c’mon.” You whine when he dips his head to kiss under your jaw, his hands still skirting the edges of your bra under your shirt. “Get me out of this stupid thing.”

He’s already plucking at the covered buttons before you finish your sentence. “Say no more.” Undone, just like your bra apparently, his little magic trick he’s perfected in the almost year you two have been together. He tugs you with him to sit on the edge of the bed and with you barely in his lap, the phone trills from the kitchen.

“There’s that ten minute warning.” Your hands slow down on the zipper of his ‘nice’ jeans, coming to terms with the fact you weren’t going to get anything you wanted this week.

“Well fuck their ten minutes.” His hands are rough on the wool of your skirt where he pushes it up your thighs, fingers sneaking under the silky lining to find the crease of your hips. “It’s not like we’re eating pie first.”

“You might be.” Your laugh is soft between you. Breath pushed out from the tickling movement of his fingers along sensitive skin. He gets a grip on you though and rolls you onto your back, your legs kicking around until he settles between your knees.

“Unfortunately no.” His fingers hook on your underwear to pull them down quickly. “But I wouldn’t be opposed to sneaking away later for a slice.” He vaguely pushes his jeans aside, finishing the job you left undone. The phone stops finally and Eddie grins down at you looking flushed and disheveled and wanting. He wants to get you out of your holiday finest and keep you in his sheets while the sky is still grey with rain. He doesn’t want to make this quick just because he’s missed you for a few days but the ache in his boxers does make a persuasive argument.

“What are you smiling at?” You ask him, trying to reach out to pull him closer. He gets the idea and drops down on his elbows to crowd into your space, nose running down along your cheek to plant a kiss on your earlobe.

“You. I miss you.”

“I know. The aunts will be gone by Saturday and you can have me all to yourself till Monday.” You run fingers through his tangled hair and he sighs, taking the moment for longer than he should. This was supposed to be a quickie after all.

“I’m gonna hold you to that-“

The phone rings again and he could swear it sounds more insistent than it did two minutes ago. “Fuck me.”

“I’m trying.” Your giggling does him in. He sits up with a rough yank of your hips to meet his and he works himself out of his boxers. Doesn’t give you more than a second to realize before he rocks his hips forward and makes you gasp through your smile.

The shriek of the phone echos through the empty trailer and it sets his teeth on edge, anger a whisper on the back of his thoughts “I swear to god I’m gonna graduate this year.”

“Y-yeah?”

“Yup.” He grabs your leg to sloppily kiss your knee and keep your hips open for him. “I’m gonna get the fuck out there so we can get the fuck out of here.” His other hand sneaks between your legs to find your own ache, thumb rubbing circles over that bundle of nerves. The leg in his hold jumps and he laughs through his nose at the way you squirm against his onslaught. “Have our own fucking Thanksgiving.” His hips pound a rhythm against yours. “And I’m unplugging the fucking phone.”

Your laughter turns to moaning that you don’t have to keep hidden and Eddie’s eyes roll in his head. These are the daydreams he gets lost in during biology, ideas of you two living on your own anywhere but here. A place where you don’t have to keep quiet due to thin walls and family ever present. Eighty five is gonna be his fucking year if it’s the last thing he does.

When one call ends and immediately picks up into another loud ring, Eddie drops his head and focuses on you. “Come on baby, they’re gonna send out the sheriff soon.”

“I don’t-fuck I don’t care!” You give him a show with your head thrown back and your hands pawing at your own chest, one of your nipples pinched between your orange painted fingers. His hips snap in an uneven rhythm while he tries to hold off until you break, always trying to make you break first. Eyes screwed shut, back arching off the bed suddenly, he feels you clench around him and he buries himself deep to ride out the feeling with you. His movements stutter and he mumbles his love at you, babbling about next year in your own shared place. In your own shared bed.

There’s no room for basking in the afterglow and when Eddie finally lifts his head you’ve already rehooked your bra and started buttoning your shirt back up quietly. “I’m sorry this was…well, this.” You look around you sadly and spot your underwear on his crowded floor.

“Don’t be, I got to steal you away for a bit.” He’s redoing his belt but leans down to kiss your forehead. “And maybe later we can sneak out back and have some quality neckin’ time.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you and the phone rings again and he turns unceremoniously out of his room without another word.

He tears the phone of the cradle and immediately hears Wayne, exasperated on the other end, asking where in the blue hell you two are. “Hello!” Eddie twirls the wire around his finger, his irritation clear through the line. “No we didn’t get lost, I was looking for something in my room.”

A moments fucking peace, he thinks to himself.

“Yeah, I see it. No I’m literally staring at it right now. Yep, she’s picking it up and we’re walking out the door.” You’re strolling into the living room and picking up your shoes and his, waving them at him. “Yes Wayne, I know. I’m sorry. Uh huh. Well…oh.” You’re watching him as his face softens and he smiles. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“What’s up?” Your hair is stuck up around your head and after he hangs up he reaches out to smooth a hand over the flyaways.

“He said he was stalling for us.” A blush creeps into the tips of his ears at the thought of that. A sweet gesture but still something he wished he could have kept to himself.

“Well that’s sweet of him. Told you he knew what was up.” You hand him his shoes that he drops and shoves his toes into while you grab the homemade pie out of the fridge. “You ready?”

“I was serious, by the way.” He doesn’t look at you while he locks the door and makes his intentions clear.

“About what?”

“The getting us out of here.”

You wait at the bottom of the steps, looking up at him warmly with the glass pie dish tucked up against your chest. “I know.”

He has a hard time meeting your eyes sometimes when he tries to talk about the future. “I mean, if that’s anything you’d want anyways.” He keeps his gaze unfocused while you both start back off to your trailer and your full family.

“Getting out of the trailer park?”

“Yeah.”

“Getting out of Hawkins?”

“That too.”

“Getting away with you?”

“That’s the part I wasn’t sure about.”

You find his hand swinging between you to grab it tight, lacing your fingers together. “Eddie, I’d love nothing more.”

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

as much as i love buggy, i’m gonna request sanji for the fluffy alphabet!

let’s go foooor… C, D, N, U, and Y please! (my goldfish brain forgot if you said five at the most lol)

i love your work sm and i really wish you all the best!

Yay flirty chef!! Most of the requests for the Fluffabet have been Mihawk so far, which I am NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT I love him a very abnormal amount; but Sanji is just so precious and writing for him just

*melts into a silly giggling puddle*

Aaaaanyway. I very much want to thank you for requesting the letter U, I've kind of been looking forward to it, since it gives me creative freedom to brainstorm further and deeper into the characters and their quirks/psychologies, and I always love doing that.

Thank you for the request, and I hope you enjoy!!!

Also feel free to come back and make requests for Buggy, as I've gotten none for him yet at all. Sad clown noises.

Also also, since someone else asked, requests for the Fluffy Alphabet will remain open until all letters are claimed for all characters; and I'll still accept requests for other characters I haven't listed if I feel I can write them and do them justice, I just listed the ones I did because they're the ones I've written the most. Until I state on my Masterpost that requests are closed, they are very much open!!

C is for Courtship (How would they court you?)

“The heavens must be dull these days with their most beautiful goddess stuck down here.”

Firmly believes it was love at first sight, and Sanji is absolutely determined to win you over. As much as he wants to pull you in by your hands, wrap his arms around you, and tell you he’s loved you since the moment he first laid eyes on you; he also doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries and risk blowing his chances.

Flirty, flirty, flirty. He can’t help it, it's just what he does—but he’s respectful about it, dropping silly little lines designed to make you giggle, hopefully make you blush a little. Beyond that, though, he’s going to make every effort possible to legitimately get to know you; your likes and dislikes, your goals, your dreams, everything, wanting to ensure that you know he’s interested in you for more than just being a pretty face that happened to catch his eye.

If you flirt back, you’re never going to be able to get rid of him, he’s your responsibility now, basically a lost puppy that followed you home, end of story.

He’s bent on impressing you, so your first date he’s going to insist on cooking for you, just the two of you—meeting you with a bouquet of your favorite flowers (he made sure to ask in passing about your favorites at some point beforehand), with a light kiss on the cheek and a soft touch at your waist.

D is for Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning and other such household chores?)

“No, no, you sit down and relax, I can handle this, love. Really.”

Settling down with you would be a dream come true. He does have his dream of finding the All Blue, but if you’re willing to come with him on that adventure, then the journey there would be just as much of a dream to him as the destination itself.

It doesn’t take him very long at all to decide that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, and he’ll do anything to make that happen.

He’s quite cleanly and organized in general—having spent the better part of his formative years working in a professional kitchen, it’s become a force of habit. If something needs to be cleaned, to be tidied up or organized, he’s going to do so automatically, without even really thinking about it. He would much rather just see you relaxing, will probably protest a bit about you “doing too much” if you lift a finger to so much as sweep a floor.

You already know that cooking is handled. Cooking, kitchen maintenance in general. That goes without saying. Even if you enjoy cooking as well and you want to cook with him (absolute bonus, he loves cooking with you), he’s going to be right behind you wiping down the counters, washing and drying all the dishes as you go before you even have a chance to drop them in the sink.

N is for Needs (What do they need in a healthy relationship?)

“I don’t know how I ever survived without you in my life, sweetheart.”

Sanji can be a bit on the needy side. It isn’t that he lacks confidence, or that he absolutely requires constant reassurance—he just adores you, and wants to spend every minute possible with you, making sure that you know how precious you are to him.

If you’re near him, he needs to be touching you in some capacity. Whether it’s subtle, his hand resting at the small of your back while he stands next to you, or his arm curled around you and touching your waist; or if he’s pulling you back against him, arms around your waist or hands at your hips, resting his chin at your shoulder and pressing a kiss to your cheek, he always wants to be close to you.

Constantly telling you how much he loves you, showering you with praise for every little thing you do. If it gets to be too overwhelming he will back off—but you’re still going to catch him out of the corner of your vision with his own eyes glued to you, smiling and sighing as if you’re the single most incredible thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

That being said, if you argue about anything at all, he’ll be an absolute wreck, apologizing incessantly and begging your forgiveness; and he might need a fair amount of reassurance after the fact that you aren’t upset anymore. He can’t stomach the thought of upsetting you, because losing you would utterly devastate him.

U is for Unique (What’s something unique about them that no one knows but you?)

“It’s fine, just couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d get a head start on breakfast. You can go back to bed.”

Cooking is of course his passion—but it can, and sometimes does, double as a coping mechanism. He has a deeply troubled past, and every so often it might plague him in the form of nightmares.

In which case you’ll often  wake up to find his side of the bed empty; to find him in the kitchen in the wee hours of the night or morning, while everyone else is asleep, either prepping meals for the day or experimenting with new recipes to set his mind at ease.

He’s happy to accept if you offer to help, or if you just decide to sit up with him and offer your company. He’ll probably try to convince you to go back to bed, that there’s no need for you to lose sleep, but he’s not going to turn you down if you insist. It’s a gamble whether or not he’ll talk with you about what’s bothering him, or if he’ll keep a bit more quiet than usual while he immerses himself in his work. Either way, he appreciates your presence and your support more than you could ever know.

The menial, repetitive task of preparing ingredients in particular offers a pillar of stability and structure that helps him to breathe a little easier, to sort through that turmoil and make better sense of it; while the act of experimenting with something new helps steer his mind back to the present rather than dwelling on what woke him in the first place.

Y is for Yearning (What’s something that they yearn for when you’re separated?)

“Oh, no, love, I assure you, I definitely missed you more.”

It would be better to ask what he doesn’t yearn for. He simply can’t stand being apart from you, for any length of time. It isn’t that he doesn’t trust you, that doesn’t even cross his mind. He knows you’ll come back to him. He just can’t stand the length of time that you aren’t there.

Your touch, your scent, your face, your eyes, your body—your smile, your laugh, your voice, your embrace, your kisses—whether it’s minutes or hours or days that you happen to be apart, you’re the only thing that he can think about, having you back by his side, in his arms, safe and sound.

Life on the sea isn’t the safest, and he’s going to spend the entire time you're apart worried that something might happen to you. Even if you’re capable of handling yourself, he would feel much better being with you, knowing that he’s there to keep you safe.

And when you are together again, he makes it very clear just how much he missed you, all but literally gluing himself to your side, incessant in his insistence of how much he missed you, how he doesn’t ever want to spend that long apart again.

Even if it was only five minutes. Doesn’t matter, time is irrelevant, any amount of time away from you is far too long.

[simplylatte]

" Farewell, Frank "

Corpse Puppet AU by @sketchquill

Idea: Frank and Eddie have been happily married for years with nothing separating them. That was, until Frank suddenly became very ill. Doctors all over town have tried everything from different medicines to different treatments, but alas, nothing has worked. So little time is left for Frank, but Eddie isn't ready to say goodbye. Unfortunately, there's no choice.

Reminders: I will warn you now, this fic will have heavy topics such as death and illness. There is very little comfort. While canon to the Corpse Puppet AU, I am still warning you as this can be triggering to some people. Read with caution!!

I am still not associated with Clown or any of his friends, nor their work. This is purely for fun and entertainment purposes. Nothing in here belongs to me except the writing itself.

Now suffer >:))

♡--------------♡

This. Can not be happening.

Everything was going so well.

Why did it have to fall apart so soon?

Eddie stood outside of Frank's room, pacing around in circles as the poor man was overthinking. He couldn't help it. His husband was so sick, they could barely walk. It killed Eddie inside, knowing that there was nothing he could do for them. That's what hurt the most. He couldn't do anything.

A doctor steps out of the room with a saddened look. Upon entering, Eddie perked up, but quickly frowned upon seeing the doctor's expression.

"So, how is he?"

They stood silent.

"..Doc, how's my Frank?"

It looked as if they were trying to find the right words to break the unbearable news. Eddie couldn't stand it. He opened his mouth to speak, but the doc finally spoke up with sadness in their voice. This wasn't good.

"Mr. Dear, your husband hasn't been responding to the treatment."

"What..?"

No. No.. no no no. This can't be happening. Please tell him that this was not real.

The doctor sighed. They glanced over at the clipboard in their left arm.

"We've tried everything we know. Various medicines and treatments, but there's no significant improvement. Frank has only gotten worse."

...

Eddie's eyes began to flood with tears. He was on the verge of crying. The answer was obvious, but he couldn't help but ask.

"Is my Frank going to be okay..?"

...

Eddie's heart shattered in a million pieces when the doctor slowly shook their head.

"..I'm sorry, Mr. Dear, but they won't be making it."

Not a moment later, a quiet sob was heard from Eddie. He covered his face and broke down. He was losing his Frank, his husband. It didn't feel real, yet the pain was there. It was unbearable. How could anyone bear this much pain?

"Please, let me see them. Please.."

Eddie barely managed to get the words out in-between his sobs.

It would be cruel to deny someone to see their loved one.

The doc knew Frank's condition, but couldn't say no to Eddie. They allowed him in.

Eddie quietly walked in the room. He tried so hard to control his crying. He wiped away his tears as he strolled by Frank's bedside. He took a seat that was near the bed.

Being so close to a dying loved one felt like a blessing and a curse. To see them in their last moments, to later see them get buried. Eddie was not looking forward to.. burying his husband.

Just the thought of it brought him back to tears.

Frank slowly turned their gaze to Eddie. They were barely able to keep their eyes open. But they smiled. They smiled at Eddie. Frank was usually grumpy, but they smiled for him.

"Hey, Eddie.." They spoke in a hushed whisper. Eddie could tell that they were exhausted. Exhausted from death itself, exhausted from trying so many medicines and treatments.

"Hey, pumpkin.."

Frank quietly chuckled, a soft pink coloring their face. Their smile only grew.

"Heh, I told you to not call me that."

Eddie chuckled.

"But why? It's cute, just like you."

"Alright, Alright."

Frank playfully rolled their eyes, Eddie couldn't help but snicker.

Eddie glanced further at Eddie. His smile was short lived, as he slowly frowned in sadness. Was this really it? For them?

As if Frank was going to allow him to be sad, not in front of them.

They were so tired, but they mustered up the energy to raise their arm and gently place their hand on Eddie's cheek. Eddie's face turned a soft pink at the contact, but smiled.

He smiled. He placed his hand over on Frank's.

"Turn that frown upside down, dear. I'll be fine."

"But you're not."

Eddie's tears ran down his face like a waterfall. He couldn't help it. He didn't want to say goodbye.

"..Frank, sweetheart, you're-"

"I know."

Frank frowned a bit. For the first time, Eddie saw Frank tear up. A few tears rolled down their cheeks.

"I'm heartbroken, too. I don't want to leave you, either."

They stood silent for a moment.

"..As much as it sucks, at least I get to see your handsome face."

Eddie smiled slightly at the compliment. It made him happy, at least for that small bit.

"I love you, Frank."

"I love you too, Eddie."

...

They stood quiet for a little bit, just enjoying each other's company. It was nice.

It got harder for Frank to stay awake. As much as they didn't want to let go, Eddie knew they were tired. He allowed them to take their arm back. Frank let out a shaky sigh, closing their eyes for a moment.

"God, I'm so tired.." They mumbled. They felt breathless.

Eddie felt bad. As much as he wanted to spend more time with Frank, he didn't want to force them to stay awake. He stood up from the chair and knelt down next to the bedside. Eddie carefully brushed his fingers through Frank's dark hair. They quietly hummed with a small smile.

"Please, sweetheart. Get some rest. You deserve it."

Frank looked over at Eddie. They couldn't help but tear up.

"Will you.. be okay with me resting?"

Eddie slowly nodded.

"Of course.. you look so tired, it's worrying me."

Frank opened their mouth to speak, but Eddie continued to speak.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be okay. I just want you to get your much deserved rest."

...

"..Thank you, dear.."

Frank's voice became quiet.

They reached over and took Eddie's hand, gently squeezing it. Eddie reciprocated the action.

"I love you.. Eddie.."

"I love you too, Frank."

Eddie leaned in and gave a soft kiss on Frank's forehead. They smiled.

They slowly closed their eyes, letting out another shaky sigh.

Within a moment, Frank was out. They immediately fell asleep. The gentle grip they had on Eddie's hand went away, but he stood there. He kept their hand held, not wanting to let go. He never wanted to let go.

So, Eddie stayed by Frank's side. He made sure to never leave them.

He loved them.

Perhaps when Frank wakes up, they'll feel a little bit refreshed.

Eddie and Frank can see each other a little longer.

Maybe when Frank wakes up, they'll be all better, as if the sickness never happened. Eddie will be relieved and they'll live happily ever after.

If Frank wakes up, they'll maybe start accepting 'pumpkin' as their nickname.

...

. . .

But Frank never woke up.

They tried.

They tried so hard to fight the sickness.

But eventually, their body just couldn't do it.

...

"Hey, Frank.."

Eddie stood by near Frank's grave. Flowers surrounding it with cards and teddy bears. Eddie held a bouquet of flowers, purple and blue.

He knelt down, placing the bouquet of flowers upright on the grave. Tears flooded his eyes, but he held a smile.

"It's been a while since I've seen your face. I wish I could hold you, right now."

He stood quiet for a bit.

"..It's been hard without you, you know that? Wherever you are, I just hope you're resting in peace."

Eddie broke into a sob. He felt so lonely without his husband.

"I miss you so much, sweetheart.. Why'd you have to go?"

There was no one around to comfort him. Eddie was left alone with his own puddle of tears.

If Frank was there, they'd be comforting him.

..But that's the thing.

They weren't there, anymore.

♡--------------♡

I'm bawling my eyes out right now from writing this. If you read this and are crying like me, allow me to give you a hug 🫂

[acescorazon]

*casually drops two updates in one day*

Title: Changes

Chapter: 6/?

Rating: M

Word count: 2063

Warnings: Explicit language, Depressed clown :( ((Buggy's still in that mindset where he thinks he's going to die at any moment and bounces back and forth between not caring and being overly anxious.))

Chapter excerpt:

Mihawk pauses for a moment, and perhaps he’s gathering the right words to say before he speaks again, “And I am man enough to admit my wrongdoings.” Buggy doesn’t get where anything is going, he’s so confused by the sudden change in Hawkeye’s attitude. Is this a weird dream? Is he actually still stuck in that same repetitive loop, just dreaming that Mihawk had a change of heart? Why is Mihawk being so..weird…? Who is this guy? This isn’t the Hawkeye Buggy knows. “Buggy.” He calls out, and Buggy jumps slightly in his seat. He has a strong urge to run out of the room right now. He doesn’t like this. This is so weird… “I apologize. I’ve treated you very horribly in the past, but I hope that you can forgive me for everything and we can have a more positive relationship in the future.”

Forgive him? 

|Ch1|Ch2|Ch3|Ch4|Ch5|

Why, just why? Buggy thinks. He doesn’t want to see them. He doesn’t want to do this. They’re just going to get mad at him and beat him, and… and Buggy just wants to stay in his room. They don’t need him, he messes everything up, and they hate him for it.

They’re going to hurt him again. 

No, no, no. He doesn’t want to go to that stupid meeting. Yet… Buggy detests the idea of either man coming into his room and invading the one place that’s been almost like a safe haven away from them. They’ll come in, criticize everything inside his room, and fill the place with horrible memories. He doesn’t want to walk into his bedroom and instantly think, ‘Wow, that’s the spot where they beat me senseless.’ every time he enters it. He wants to keep them far away from his personal space; it’s bad enough that they already occupy his mind every waking moment. 

Buggy isn’t properly dressed, he’s still in his pajamas, actually, but he quickly gets out of bed, afraid that if he doesn’t go to the meeting room, and now, that Mihawk and Crocodile will come bursting into his room. 

Look, it’s fine. It’s fine. He’ll just go to the stupid meeting and get things over with as quick as possible, maybe he’ll pretend that he’s still really, really ‘sick’, and then he’ll go back to his room and enjoy a few more days of peace. No more, no less, no angering Crocodile and Mihawk over something stupid and then getting his ass kicked. 

He’s okay. 

A few of his men notice his strange attire choice as Buggy rushes to the meeting room for his emergency meeting; and maybe it is a little strange seeing your boss in pink pajamas with little hearts on them, but, who cares about all that right now?! He wants to just get this over with. Hopefully, Mihawk won’t still be mad about the other night when Buggy…

When Buggy got really drunk and then ripped him a new one. He’s been dreading seeing Mihawk for that very reason… Buggy wasn’t in the right state of mind that night, he was sad and anxious, and he just let loose, and…Surely if Mihawk was going to kill him for drunkenly insulting him, he would have by now…but what if he’s just been waiting to slaughter him?

Oh, man, it’s going to be okay.

He’s going to be okay. 

Buggy’s heart is pounding faster and faster in his chest with every little step he takes, and he almost feels like…

It’s weird, really. He’s in his body, but he almost feels like someone else is controlling him, and like he’s just watching everything happening around him, but it’s okay, it’s beyond okay. He’s going to have that meeting, and he’s going to make it out alive. 

As he approaches the meeting room, he can hear loud, somewhat muffled, yelling already, and he freezes. Oh, man. They’re already mad at him. As soon as he steps foot into that room, they’re going to clobber him. He didn’t do anything wrong this time. He didn’t, he didn’t, he didn-  

“I told you i ain’t fucking doing that!”

“Then I’m done.”

“Leave then! I don’t care anymore!” 

Buggy hears their words, but he can’t understand or process them. He doesn’t want to go in. He doesn’t want to end up hurt again. He wants to turn around and go back to his room, and– 

Whatever.

Buggy decides to rip the bandage off, and quickly. He holds his breath and enters the meeting room, and as soon as he does, Mihawk and Crocodile turn to him and pause their argument, staring at Buggy, speechlessly. He’s fine. He’s fine, he knows that he came to a meeting in his pajamas, but it’s not like he’d get beaten up for something like that…would he? He’s fine, he’s fine. 

Neither of them mentions his attire right away, so that’s a good start…right? 

Mihawk is the first to speak after Buggy enters the meeting room, “Oh, so you decided to come after all…How are you?” How is he? How is he?! He’s scared to death! How else would he be at this very moment?! Mihawk basically forced him to come to this meeting, and knowing him, he’s probably going to yell at him. They’re both going to yell at him probably, and then, and then….

“I’m…doing better…still feeling a little unwell…” Buggy says, voice small and shaky. He keeps his eyes glued down to the ground, terrified of making eye contact with the other man at the moment. He quietly takes his seat at his normal spot at the meeting table, hoping that there aren’t objections to at least that, and waits for Mihawk and Crocodile to begin things. 

There’s something foreign and strangely soft about Mihawk’s voice as he has a seat right across from Buggy at the table,  “That’s rather unfortunate, isn’t it? We hope you feel better soon.” We? As in both of them? …What the hell…? There’s no reason to be nice… There’s no reason to lie...There's no reason to do all this... “I’ll get straight to the point: We’re never going to be successful if we continue to act this way towards each other.” 

…What?

“If Cross Guild is going to be successful, we need to treat each other with respect, and I mean that. I believe that we need to start fresh, and move on from everything that’s happened in the past.”

...What???

Buggy briefly glances up, accidentally making eye contact with Mihawk, before quickly averting his gaze back down to the table. Why is he saying this all of a sudden? Surely he doesn’t care that much about them having a good relationship, if he did he would have been nice from the start or would have actually accepted one of Buggy’s many previous offers to have a cordial relationship with each other, but he didn’t.  Mihawk’s never once seemed interested in treating Buggy with ‘respect’, so what’s different all of a sudden?  

Mihawk pauses for a moment, and perhaps he’s gathering the right words to say before he speaks again, “And I am man enough to admit my wrongdoings.” Buggy doesn’t get where any of this is going, he’s so confused by the sudden change in Hawkeye’s attitude. Is this a weird dream? Is he actually still stuck in that same repetitive loop, just dreaming that Mihawk had a change of heart? Why is Mihawk being so..weird…? Who is this guy? This isn’t the Hawkeye Buggy knows. “Buggy.” He calls out, and Buggy jumps slightly in his seat. He has a strong urge to run out of the room right now. He doesn’t like this. This is so weird… “I apologize. I’ve treated you very horribly in the past, but I hope that you can forgive me for everything and we can have a more positive relationship in the future.”

Forgive him?!

What a load of Bullshit! Just when he thought that Mihawk couldn’t get worse… Does he actually think that Buggy can forgive him and just forget everything he’s done just because he gave him a simple little apology? He’s beaten him, he’s degraded him, he’s humiliated him, he’s… he’s threatened Buggy’s life! And he thinks an apology is going to make up for it?! He expects Buggy to happily accept his apology and pretend nothing happened when…when he’s hurt Buggy so badly! No, screw that! Why should he ever forgive Mihawk even if he apologizes to him hundreds or thousands of times?

Buggy doesn’t want this. He doesn’t need this. What he wants is for Mihawk (and Crocodile) to just leave the island before they can cause any (more) harm to Buggy and his crew! Screw his apology! He doesn’t realize it at first, but he ends up glaring at Mihawk, angry and in disbelief that Mihawk thinks this will all go away with an apology, but he does eventually realize what he’s doing and it’s all thanks to Crocodile:

“What’s with that look, clown?” Crocodile scoffs, and as soon as those very words leave his mouth, Buggy quickly looks back down at the table, hoping that he’s not about to start a fight for something he didn’t even realize he was doing. “Are you too good to accept his apology?” …it’s not even that! How can Crocodile be so much of a jerk that he… that he can’t even see why Buggy’s hesitant to accept Mihawk’s apology?! Oh, that’s right, he’s probably never gone through what Buggy’s gone through before, and plus, Crocodile’s cruel and evil, and he doesn’t have any sense of empathy or humanity! How could Buggy forget? 

“Crocodile, if he doesn’t want to accept my apology, then I understand.” Mihawk sighs, “I understand that I’ve hurt you severely and how you might be hesitant to accept my apology or even believe it’s genuine. It’s my own fault, really… But I truly want all of us to get along better from now on, even if it’ll take some time.” 

Buggy still can’t believe any of this is happening… He doesn’t want to get along with Crocodile and Mihawk now after everything that’s happened between them, it’s far too late. He tried to offer his friendship ages ago, but they never wanted it…why should he try to be their friend now? They’re horrible people! “I want to suggest that the three of us have a nice dinner to discuss the future of Cross Guild as well as try to get to know each other better,” Mihawk states, and there’s a moment of silence after Mihawk makes his suggestion, but Crocodile and Buggy’s reaction soon afterward is…predictable.

“Nah, I'll pass.” Crocodile sneers, while Buggy just looks up in shock and confusion. What the fuck, man? No. Why would Buggy ever want to… He didn’t even want to come to this meeting, why would he want to have dinner with Mihawk and Crocodile?! Buggy hasn’t even accepted Mihawk’s apology, does he think he did? Does it even matter if Buggy accepts his apology or not? Does he think they’re all just buddies now? Does he really think that they can just forget about all the times he and Crocodile beat the shit out of Buggy?! Because they can’t! “I feel… really sick… I don’t think I can come.” Buggy lies, but then again, it really isn’t much of a lie because he’s fucking sick to his stomach right now. 

What is Mihawk even on right now?! 

“That’s also fine.” Mihawk nods, “But the offer remains on the table if both or either of you change your minds. Now, Crocodile, do you have something you’d like to say to Buggy?” 

No way. Buggy gets the feeling he knows where Mihawk is trying to guide the conversation, and there’s no way Crocodile would actually apologize to Buggy. Crocodile probably hates Buggy a hundred times more than Mihawk does and he’s made that fact abundantly clear several times already. “I ain’t got nothing to say to him.” Crocodile replies a moment later, and that’s the exact reaction Buggy thought he’d have, but… But at least he’s not being weird and suddenly trying to be all nice and crap, at least he’s still being consistent. 

Mihawk exhales a sigh, getting up from his seat, “Then, I have no more to say to either of you, have a good day.” What? What was the point in all that? Buggy stays seated in his chair as Mihawk makes his exit, secretly peeking over at Crocodile and trying to gauge his reaction. They both think this is weird, right? Buggy’s not the only one confused by this all, right? 

Crocodile’s expression is almost unreadable, but Buggy doesn’t think he’s too happy at the moment. He sits in his seat as well, uncharacteristically quiet and almost…calm? No, that’s not the word for it. He’s not calm, he definitely doesn’t seem calm, he actually seems like he’s quietly seething as he stares in Buggy’s direction. His aura is much more intimidating than usual, and Buggy can just barely make out the sight of Crocodile clutching his fist tightly. “I don’t think we’ll be having any more meetings for a while, clown,” He announces, and there’s a terrifying combination of coldness and hatred in his voice. “In fact, it might just be you and me in Cross Guild from now on.”

What?

((A/N: All i needed to see was the flyer in the anime. That's all i needed and now i'm acting GOOFY.))

[yujo-nishimura]

A birthday present

This fic is a birthday present for my dear @lostfirefly - may all your wishes and dreams come true and may you find something to smile about every day. ♥

After several days of plotting a plan to fight the straw hats and being busy with the preparation for setting sail, Buggy the clown has forgotten about you, his first mate and girlfriend. You have been in your quarters for the whole time pouting not sure if you are ready to forgive the clown for his negligence. 

As he knocked at the door, you were not in the mood to open. It had been five days of not hearing anything from him and you knew he would always just come around when he remembered you or felt lonely. Whenever he faced hardships or fatigue following an adventure, you made it a priority to be there for him. However, it was never the other way round and you felt often these days that you were just something like a second thought of your captain and boyfriend, Buggy the clown. 

You could hear him knocking again, a little bit more assertive this time, his voice filled with urgency.  “Y/n, please open up. I brought us some wine to celebrate!” “What do you wanna celebrate?”, you answered, not willing to open up yet “That we are setting sail tomorrow. All the preparation is finally done and the crew is ready!” Of course he had forgotten. He had forgotten everything about you in the past five days. Reluctantly, you approached the door and swung it open so abruptly that a startled clown stood stupefied for a fleeting moment, his eyes meeting your furious countenance. “Great. You are finally done with whatever you needed to do and now you remembered me.” You had no intention of sounding so bitter, but unfortunately your words came all out wrong. Buggy's painted face contorted into a frown, and he swiftly grasped the situation. He let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “May I come in?” You didn't answer, just stepped away from the door, walking slowly back to your little bed under the bullseye window. 

Buggy closed the door with care and then proceeded to place the wine and two glasses on the table. Taking a seat on a chair opposite you, he fixed his emerald gaze upon you, his eyes appearing to penetrate through your emotional barrier. He sighed once more before initiating the conversation. "You think I forgot about you once again, don't you?" he began, his voice carrying a mixture of understanding and regret. You chose to not answer and continue your pouting.  "My dear," he continued, "you must understand that while I am your boyfriend, I am also the captain of this ship. There are demands placed upon me by the entire crew, and those expectations must be met." As you listened to his composed and rational explanation, you couldn't help but let out a sigh of your own. It would have been easier to handle him if his demeanor had been one of anger or heightened emotion. But he had a point and his beautiful eyes and his sad frown made you feel like your anger was fading away. 

You still did not want to give in. It was almost midnight, you were tired, you felt after all this time you had the right to be angry with him. With your arms tightly crossed in front of your chest, you shook your head in defiance. "It's still not fair, Buggy. I'm always there for you, but you only come to me when you need me...!" In response, Buggy abruptly rose from his seat and approached you, settling down beside you. His presence radiated warmth, and his proximity sent a tingling sensation coursing through your body. Unexpectedly, he placed his hands on your knee, causing shivers to dance along your spine. "You know that's not true," he whispered gently, his voice filled with sincerity. The combination of his touch and his words began to chip away at your emotional defenses, leaving you torn between vulnerability and the desire to maintain your stance.

As you felt a mix of hesitation, you still remained in place, not pulling away from his touch. "What if I make it up to you right now, here with you? Do you think I forgot what today is?" Buggy's words caught you off guard, and you regarded him with disbelief, uncertain if he genuinely remembered. "Don't look at me like that. I know it's your birthday!" Buggy's smile radiated sincerity, and you couldn't help but reciprocate, your anger from earlier melting away. A gasp escaped your lips as he produced a small box from his brown coat. "I genuinely thought you wouldn't care!" you replied. The realization slowly dawned upon you, as you saw that Buggy was revealing a black velvet-covered square. "I had planned to do this properly, on deck, with the entire crew watching, but given your anger towards me, I had to change my plans and simply... ask you here." He blushed, opening the small box to reveal a sapphire blue and silver ring, its brilliance enhanced by the gentle glow of candlelight.

"Happy birthday, my love. If you can find it in your heart to forgive my forgetfulness and accept my apology, then you must also accept this ring and agree to marry me. Also, it is a command from your captain.", he chuckled. 

"You are unbelievably cheeky and thoughtless. How could I possibly say no?" A mixture of emotions overwhelmed you, and before you could reach for the ring, you wrapped your arms around him, careful not to touch his nose, and buried your face in the crook of his neck, allowing your tears to flow freely. He could feel the warmth of your tears against his skin, and they mingled with the collar of his coat. "You know that I love you, right?" he whispered softly.

"I love you too, Buggy. I can only agree to become your wife if you promise to sometimes remember me in the chaos of it all." As you carefully lifted your head to meet his smile, he gently wiped away some of your tears with his gloved hand. "I will try my best to remember," he assured you.

His lips met yours in a tender kiss, conveying both an apology and an affirmation of his love. You knew that he would continue to be your world, and as his future wife, you would have to grow accustomed to your captain shining as the star of the ship.

[sprout-fics]

SPROUT I AM THONKING

Gaz being your high school sweetheart

He leaves for the military but years later you get a message from him

You two grab coffee (coffee shoppe au) and sure, he's a little rougher around the edges, but he's still our sweet sweet boy <3

Ok yes, yes!!

It's so weird to think about these guys as younger, in high school or something but I can totally see Gaz as the kid who is the class clown but also never gets caught. All the teachers think he's a very sweet, polite boy, and then he'll steal all the erasers from the third floor classrooms and just ' :) No Mr. Trumbul, I have no clue where they could possibly be, but I'll be sure to help look for them with my fellow students'

Is the kind of guy everyone likes or at least is amicable with. Maybe not popular but at least decently respected and nobody really has issues with him. It's the reason you like him. He's just a good guy, he's funny and makes you laugh, does sweet things like leaves you notes in your locker or gets you some cheap flowers on your birthday.

and then graduation comes and things start changing. Suddenly the news is full of military operations overseas, and Kyle starts getting distant, broody. You both still are dating but it's different, he's not the same. You ask him what he plans to do after he graduates and he evades, and you press him and he says he's going to enlist. You beg him not to, try and convince him otherwise, but he's stubborn. He says he's going to go serve and you can't stop him.

So you have to let him go.

and even when he leaves you, he's sweet about it. He kisses you and hugs you and says he's sorry, and that you'll find someone, and he's sorry it isn't him.

Years pass, and you move on. There's stuff in the news about the anti-terrorism operations, but you don't pay much attention to it, because when you do you wonder if he's okay, if maybe you should have tried harder to stop him. You change too, grow into an adult and shift into something different, something more like the person you're meant to be.

You stand in a coffee shop one day, waiting on your order, and you hear his name called out. There's a brief moment where you remember him, and it's almost gone when a familiar and yet somehow different figure approaches the counter with a 'Thanks love' that sounds heart achingly like him.

and it is.

You see his eyes when he recognizes you, blinking and unfocusing with memories before he sees you. He says your name like he's walking in a daydream and when you smile and nod you see him grin, and there's a sadness but also a joy there at finding you once more.

You talk, and he tells you everything he's done, where he is now, the things he's doing. He's different, a little more worn, a little ragged around the edges but it's still him underneath all that. You can see his smile, can hear how his voice has deepened a little more when he laughs. He's broader, more fit, has a few scars you don't recognize but it's him, it's Kyle.

It's a conversation, and it's only at the end that you say you've found someone important to you. He nods, and his smile is a little sad, but his eyes are earnest when he says he's happy for you. He listens to you talk about your partner, how much they care for you. He makes a few jokes and relishes in your laughter like he's bathing in sunlight. When you both part ways, he hugs you like he did all those years ago, once more as a goodbye just for him, and you can't help but wonder once more if you made a mistake.

Months later you get an invitation, and you stand proudly in the crowd watching Kyle as he receives his first medal for his service. He stands tall, beams pride and it sings inside you chest alongside him.

You realize you didn't make a mistake. He's right where he needs to be.

[sgiandubh]

"He's actually paying those PR people? Whatever for? A drunk wombat would be better at the task." I LOL'd because my god have we been asking this very question of both Sam and Cait for years. They're PR is actually the worst. It's honestly hard to believe at times. Absolutely zero idea who either of them are trying to reach. The recalibrating after that VF disaster sent Cait into hiding, I'm not sure she's done another print interview since Belfast promo ended and if the Sam articles are going to continue on this way, he can quit too. Boring.

Dear Quit Anon,

I am flattered I managed to bring a smile or even a LOL, but I am not particularly glad about it. Unlike droves of people who think this PR shitshow is sad, I actually find it mystifying.

You are right. Goddess C went into occultation after that cursed VF interview. There are clear reasons, I think, for that. Also, please take into account the fact that, despite the illusions peddled by some fuckwits in this fandom, there are many things we simply do not know (nor should we, most probably).

As for S, I guess that ever since she went totally MIA (as I said, make-up and fash-un promo don't really compensate), he is overexposing himself. On purpose. Perhaps to protect her (I think so). Certainly to hide something. Since this is no way in hell about being gay (I will die on that hill and I know I am right), the only thing he could hide is well... I don't really need to draw it, do I?

Smoke and mirrors is always a risky strategy. S simply hasn't got what it takes to play that game long term, probably for the same reasons he was never a serious shortlist candidate for Bond. At this point in time, he'd mechanically go with whatever merde du jour is thrown by his imbecile PR on the table. Still, it's high time he'd seriously pull himself together. He can do better, as I wrote in a comment: he can do NYT and he did it very well, recently. And I was glad to see that. But Metro is just disappointing, clueless and tasteless. And it's padding up a press portfolio with amiable, meaningless bullshit that goes nowhere. Or at least nowhere near he wants to be or see himself in, let's say, five years from now.

OL is going to end. It has to. It's been both a blessing and a curse, I said that before. Then, it will be high time to end the fucking Truman Show. He (abstractly) knows that, he keeps hinting about it. “I’m ready for new challenges, but also nervous about what it’s like in the real world” - for some reason, I found this phrase very telling. But I doubt he internalized what probably still feels like a safely remote occurrence, right now.

What are his real projects? For the moment, zero. Directing? I'd love to see it, but he's got no real credentials for that. Bond? I mean, publicly gushing and insisting is not going to manifest it. He needs a real movie, a good one to break that glass ceiling. Is he going to get it? I hope so. But his personal brand awareness is still low. The PR clowns should stop talking to us, in here: we are already here and not going anywhere. All of us: antis, mommies, shippers, fencers, haters, trolls. They should talk to the people who have no clue who S is, and do it differently. He should step out of his comfort zone, ditch the leeches and refuse to discuss his personal life, for a while. There, I said it.

What are her real projects? For the moment, not much. Sure, we have The Cut, where I gather her part is minimalistic, to be kind. We also have The Amateur, of which very little is known at the moment. However, if I am correct, she is not one of the leads. Enough said. And beyond that? Crickets.

Make no mistake. The real litmus test is not now. The real litmus test is 2025. And then we'll see. And I'll still be here, taking weeping Anons because I don't know who said I don't know what I don't know where. Mark me.

[theneighborhoodwatch]

uhhh wally/barnaby for the ship thing?? idk if you ship them im just guessing because youve rbed some art for it lmao

(send me a character/ship to hear my thoughts)

when or if I started shipping it: [friendly shrug that communicates absolutely nothing]

my thoughts: IT'S FUNNY, I... I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD FEEL WAY MORE STRONGLY ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP BEING ROMANTIC THAN I DO? especially considering that "eccentric and traumatized manic pixie nightmare guy obsessed with fulfilling some fictional archetype x his more cynical and worldly friend-slash-colleague who starts out supportive but eventually finds himself way out of his depth" was pretty much the Exact dynamic of the last ship i was invested enough in to call an otp. so far though, any moments they have together don't get much more out of me than "ooh, interesting, i wonder if/how that's gonna come into play later," or "oho, i think my friend who ships barnwally will get a kick out of this," or "aaaghghg fuck.... buddy comedy angst...." i think my thoughts on them right now can be best summarized as ... i am excited for when there is enough About them in canon to finally make me as emotional over them as i am about, like, franklydear or wally and home. but also even if their relationship is never explicitly or even implicitly romantic then i have more than enough reason to believe it will still be just as emotional and rich with Themes. TL;DR: i know they're gonna fuck me up Some day, but that hasn't happened yet.

What makes me happy about them: they genuinely like each other! i feel like with welcome home's whole Thing of its characters' predetermined roles coming into conflict with their reality it'd be really easy to have one of them secretly hate or resent the other from the get-go, but - no, wally trusts barnaby to always have an answer for what he's feeling or experiencing and barnaby is gentler and more upfront with wally than he is with almost any other character (although considering his general personality that may not be saying much HAHA.) it makes it a lot easier to get invested in them and subsequently dread what effect The Horrors will have on their relationship.

What makes me sad about them: so, like. wally probably knows why he and barnaby are friends to begin with, i.e. he probably knows that A Higher Power decided that they should be friends, and so it was done. the possibility that wally can exist beyond what his audience/creator(s) expect of him does not seem to have ever occurred to wally himself. what i'm getting at here, is that. wally may genuinely like being friends with barnaby, yes. but liking something because you chose to seek it out and liking something because you are under the impression that you will somehow cease to exist without it are Two Very Different Things, and the latter is. very dangerous for any kind of relationship. and, fuck, barnaby - if i was barnaby and i found out that that was how my best friend (who i may or may not be in love with) saw our friendship the whole time - if i found out that was the truth and i never noticed it? i would never be able to forgive myself. even if that friend ended up doing things that hurt me or other people or themselves and i was rightly upset with them for that, there would always be that little voice in the back of my head telling me that if i had just looked closer for two seconds i could have fixed it. i could have helped him. i could have shown him i was a real friend.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: i don't seek out WH fic all that often, but i remember when it first became a thing a lot of explicitly romantic barnaby/wally fic made barnaby a little too earnest/mushy for my liking? like yeah, he cares about wally and is gentle with him and everything, but he is also very quick to tease wally and to dress up pretty much everything he says in at least on layer of irony/clowning around. this pooch does NOT have the emotional self-awareness for the things you want him to say!! i also dislike when authors make another character (usually home or. howdy?) like, over-the-top abusive towards wally so barnaby has more incentive to get with him, but i just don't like character assassination/flanderization in general, so.

Things I look for in fanfic: honestly, just, like. more stuff that actually interacts with WH's canon. i feel like a lot of the stuff i see for them is either AU fic or smutty oneshots that don't do a whole lot to incorporate canon elements. which, like, do whatever you want forever, but i'm Starvin' over here.

My kinks: y'know i was gonna be like "teehee, wrong blog! you're not getting that here, silly!" but. i actually have no idea what kinks i would consider Only in the context of wallaby. uhhh. ask for my nsfw blog if you wanna hash that out i guess.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: i'm very curious to see if canon is going to end up making a case for laughingstock. i don't know if it will but i think it would be very funny. as for wally... [looks at his relationship with home] uh. [looks at his relationship with W/the WHRP] umm. [looks at his relationship with the audience] fuck. maybe work on yourself a little bit before thinking about sharing your life with someone again, buddy.

My happily ever after for them: an animated music video set to on melancholy hill by gorillaz. it opens with wally sitting in front of home's burning remains at night, gazing mournfully into its eyes one last time. the only sound we hear is the crackling of the fire. we smash cut to black for a split second before the song begins to play, paired with the visual of wally driving down a long highway at sunset, in what is very clearly a hastily painted over mail truck that used to belong to eddie's post office. after the opening instrumental of the song, the footage alternates between three perspectives: wally traveling to his unknown destination, complete with all the hitchhiking, gas pumping, pit stopping, and otherwise less glamorous parts of road travel; the other neighbors trying to put their lives back together after The Bullshit, in particular following barnaby's melancholic point of view as he visits each one/attends their various get-togethers; and finally, the neighbors Braving The Horrors back in the day to fight for a life that best fits their needs rather than that of their long-dead makers. as the song begins to roll to a close, we see the mail truck pull up to an unfamiliar looking house, with a handful of neighbors hanging out on the porch and barnaby leaving out the front door to grab something. the entire scene takes place at sunset once again, meaning everything in is in silhouette. barnaby stops dead in his tracks when he sees the truck, and the others soon follow his gaze. wally opens the door and steps out, his body language hesitant as he takes one step towards barnaby. barnaby begins to walk towards him. we smash cut to black on the final note of the song. the end.

[tobiasdrake]

Today's the day. To the House of Change.

It's exactly the size that I thought. You can see it from town, Isa. Pay attention to things.

Was that in doubt? Did we go on this entire quest to find the Orbs without anyone ever checking if the door is even locked?

There is a non-zero chance that we are all clowns. This does not bode well for our chances today.

It's a good thing that magical keys levitate because I do not envy our chances of physically reaching those upper locks.

In any case, no going back now.

Oh, so THAT'S a Sadness.

...is not a thing I should be saying this deep into our adventure but. Like. You don't understand. It was lemon-flavored. I accept the consequences of my possibly-hallucinatory actions.

I'm so fast, I've already thrown Scissors before anyone even thinks of throwing Rock.

...which. They then. Proceed to do.

...

I think I just figured out why I'm always the one on chore duty.

Unfair that she gets two different types but she is the Chosen One main character of our epic fantasy adventure. She gets Chosen One privileges.

You mean the fact that they're already throwing Scissors and we haven't even started attacking yet?

...

Oh, shit, does that mean they're faster than me? >_< Odile, this is your fault. You made us slow down. I need to hurry up and throw Scissors now!

Trick question. Nothing beats Scissors because it is the superior sign. Cuts through Paper. Cuts through Pillow. It would be weak to Rock but Rock has the Infatuated status ailment so it has a 50% chance of losing its turn each round.

Also the Chosen One is half-Scissors so. Like. Scissors's superiority is unmistakable.

That's honestly a good idea. Item Duty is perfect for the tagalong kid.

Nah, I get that. When I was younger, I'd drink bad coffee on purpose because that way the coffee would make me more alert. I don't do that anymore because life should be spent enjoying things, but the logic holds all the same.

Is it bad if this is my favorite thing of the items I've picked up in here? There are a lot of uses for going ding-ding. Entertainment. Distraction. Entertainment. Ruining stealth missions. And entertainment.

I have an established track record of putting questionable things in my mouth. She is right to fear me.

Hey, that would have worked if you hadn't stopped me! Guaranteed stat increases across the board with only a moderate chance of heart explosion.

So the group can't see the Star. Probably because they haven't ingested one, so they're not gifted with the same hallucinations that I am. Good to know.

Oh cool! Time to do my job as the Trap Pincushion. Here we go!

...

...

Well, here are the possibilities.

1 - There's no traps. 2 - The traps are so cleverly hidden that even my best Trapfinding rolls couldn't locate them. 3 - I'm so fast and so good at my job that I disarmed all of the traps before even I was able to notice.

Personally, I'm leaning towards Option 3. It's easily the most plausible, as well as a valuable reminder of the important assets I bring to this team.

Is it possible that somebody died here for reasons unrelated to traps, and it simply developed a reputation? Like, someone dropped dead of a heart attack or something? And they were just like, "Oh, don't go in there, that's the Death Corridor"?

It's cool. You can be a little high-strung but that's just part of your charm. Let's all just take this as a valuable lesson in not giving too much weight to eavesdropped rumors and--

NO FUCK YOU THAT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A PUN

Oh god, I died a clown.

[blingblong55]

I. LOVE. YOUR. BLOG. that's all I can say lol

Can I make a request for a lesbian reader coming out to 414 + Los Vaqeros, she had trauma from her homophobic family and now she is coming out to the boys she see as brothers, she needs a family comfort.

This one is kinda personal for me :,)

Thank you so much..it means a lot when ppl say this!<33333

New Family- 141+ Los Vaqueros

Please listen to Matilda by Harry styles. It works if you want a crying session!

F!Reader! Platonic! Relationship!

*Trigger warning!*

It was another day at base. Soap and Gaz knocking so things down. Ghost training the rookies. You and Price at his office. He had found you crying the day after you arrived back from your family. "What happened this time?" His voice soft, as if he spoke any louder, he'd hurt you. "I can't talk about it this time sir" your voice was low, you struggled to keep yourself calm.

The guys walked into his office, they soon heard your soft sniffles. "It's hard price" your voice shaky.

----

141:

This was all hitting too fast. Just 3 weeks ago you decided to visit your parents. All happy and excited, feeling alive and free. "Mum, dad, I don't date boys because...well.. I like women. I love women." Your then smile faded. "This is disgusting r/n, women belong to men." But dad, I-" "leave" and as you packed all your stuff, they harassed you until you drove off.

The entire day you cried. Your heart ached. All the good memories stayed but the future memories were never to be made.

----

"c'mon lass what's wrong?" Soap kneeled in front of you. His eyes looking for you, not this sad soul, your parents created. "I can't, I'm afraid of-" you stopped and broke down in tears. "We love you, you know that dont ya'?" You nodded. Your hands now covering your face.

"what ever it is, we are here kid." ghost rubbed your shoulder.

"Yeah, we already think you're cool, and also the most prettiest clown at base. Soap is the last best looking." Gaz said, attempting to make you laugh. "Hey" soap responded. You giggled.

"You promise?" your sad voice broke their hearts. "Yes" they all answered.

And after much hesitation you just blurted it out. "I like women. I'm a lesbian...gay what ever you want to call it. That's why I am, thats who I love." You never looked up at them. Price sighed. "You think that just because you like women we'd dislike you?"

"imagine how much help we'll all get. we need help with dating and boom you're here. You need ideas and w're hear lass." soap slowly placing his hands on your knees.

"we'll have a one spy on the inside" Ghost added.

Man were you relived. You got up and soon they all embraced you. "bear hug!" soap said as his arms fell upon yours.

"thank you boys"

"y're welcomed love" gaz imitated soap.

"Stoop t'at" soap's accent got worse. "I love you all."

"we love y'back kiddo" price spoke up, making you all laugh. Perhaps it was the nervous that had you laughing or the sense of a new home. Whatever it was, it felt good.

"And you'll teach us stuff, like techniques right?" Soap asked which only received a smack on the head from ghost.

"Just ask'n"

Los vaqueros:

You were assigned to work with Los Vaqueros, being that they didn't have any women on their team and they needed to connect with female victims. They became your second family. Always laughing with them that you'd forget your troubles.

----

When you were on leave, things back home weren't exactly how you pictured it to the team. Your mother had slapped you across the face. Yelling homophobic things. Sayings slurs and she damned you over and over. Your family was religious, big followers. Your father called you a disgrace to your family. Your siblings said things you'd never imagined they'd say.

----

Alejandro knew something was wrong the minute you set foot on base. You always came back from home with a little less of you and more of the you your family had morphed you to. Rudy was the only one you let in on the secret. He was always so supportive. Asking if you felt comfortable with certain things. Ale was different. He acted tough when around his men, and you couldn't blame him.

Rudy was always pushing you to tell Ale. But you were scared. When he got mad he reminded you of your own father. His words were always harsh, he'd say things to his men the same way your mum did.

The vaqueros would do anythings to please ale, especially on his bad days. So you knew that if he wasn't okay with you, then neither were the rest of the team.

For that same reason you are distant on him. Always with Rudy and never him. Until today.

"Que pasa?" he asks (what's wrong?)

"Nothing, just leave me alone."

"hablame a mi, mi amor" (talk to me my love) he softly says, eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't think you're ready for this." your chest aching.

"Whatever it is, im here" he gently places his hands on your shoulder.

You just wanted it out. "I like women. I'm gay." you mention without any hesitation.

"And here I thought you betrayed me"

"what? you're nor upset or mad?"

"Why would I? I always knew...I'm glad you can be open about this...does Rudy?"

"yes, he's been my support for months now."

it was true, Rudy was always there. When a man would say things to you because you acted 'manly' or vocalized how you felt about men, he was your guard. Your voice when yours was too weak to speak. He became your guardian angel.

Always guiding you and also judging you. "you can do better." he'd say anytime you would talk about a girl. "I see we have the same taste." he'd laugh anytime you described who you liked, and how you'd like for them to be.

Safe to say, Ale and Rudy became your big brothers. Always watching over you on dates. Gossiping about what had happened.

---- First off, ur fam can fuck off, you already got a supportive new family here on this crazy but cool app&lt;3. Second of all, I hope I can fulfill this request. I understand how shity family can be and thats why I didn't add much of a back story, I struggle with one my own family so I understand how how hard real acceptance and love can be...stay safe love.

Also to all my readers who are in the LGBTQ+ community or those who never felt love, appreciated, cared for, repsected, I'll always be here. I'll be a safe place for you all! Take care my dear!

Tags: @ghostofuchiha

REQUEST ARE OPEN!!

[big-bundle-of-little-mistakes]

Ok so yeah hey hi I HAVE THOUGHTS-

First off, why is nobody, and I mean NOBODY, talking about the fact that Deckard's entire family just decided "man, nah, frick it, we're coming with you wherever" and stayed on the island while everybody else jumped off? Also, the entire town now has to find somewhere new to live, new houses, new jobs, and that old man and the cats... like... do you think he stayed? Him and his dog, just popping by to see the cats from time to time? We saw the cats and the brother stay on the island. On that note, what happened to all the other animals living on that island, they clearly didn't jump off in time. They all just travel across space too? So, canonically, Bee was once alive, how did she die? She became a robot. What's with the spirit things? I thought they were part of her programming, how do they return to her? Do they? Do they live as their own... beings? So they were ass naked there which means everybody saw Bee naked I guess. I know they were ethereal and jot really.... shaped that way, but, just saying.

Other thoughts- hey remember when spaceman Puppycat SHIT IN THE TOILET AND MADE IT CLEAN? Yeah that was wild.

So Violet had a kid. Why were they all in deep sleep mode anyway? How DID Cardamon wake up? And Bee being awake means... well he always knew her, Puppycat always knew Bee. She got left on Earth... and Puppycat when injured appeared before her, probably in the same way Moully came to see her. I think? I wonder if since Puppycat saw her as a kid and alive, and then later was confused about her fixing her broken robot arm, he was like "huh, what happened, how did she become a robot since I laat saw her?" Also, the fact that in the original, Deckard and Bee seemed to be the ship, but seems that Bee likes Deckard but Deckard thinks of himself as a mother type for her, while also slightly crushing... but in Lazy In Space, when Crispin ran away to join the circus, later he came back at some point to end up living with Bee (likely she found him and knew he was their sibling and convinced him to come home but he wasn't fully ready and she offered to let him stay with her for a while) and it seems they grew close, ir they were dating and he moced in with her but they broke up? And he moved back home? Anyway he still very much likes her, and she doesn't exactly dislike the thought of being with him either, she even dresses up for their date though she seemed reluctant to label it a date at first. So, ok, does Crispin end up dating the pink/red astral projection (likely her "romance" and "love" and "concern for others" aspect of her personality - blue probably sadness, yellow joy, idk, purple intuition and deep thought... white for her morals? Idk just throughts right now) or do they return to her? She is seen smiling later even though her eyes are still glitching, does she... get fixed? Wake back up? It seems she is still semi conscious while in "glitch" mode, as seen by the donut planet episode.

Also, on that note, I really love how their dynamic is, Crispin is definitely a little weird (I'd argue obsessed/ nuerotic more than weird per se) but Bee just embraces it and is ok with it, and she is definitely a little off as well, but he is chill with her level of weird and just goes with it too. "Of course there is" about the food being in the toilet. Just "ok then. I like everything to be clown themed, so sure girl, keep your food in the toilet, who am I to judge," and I just think that is really cute.

So, Deckard's "friend" followed him home, just, weirdly. And Deckard just is like "alright fine guess I have a stalker now I don't know, what am I gonna do about it?" But he seems pretty broken and sad at the end anyway, like cooking school just showed him he isn't good at something he wants to be good at and enjoys. That sucks because Deckard is honestly the sweetest most awkward guy. Second only to his brother Wesley, who cares for fish.

So, now, since Bee and Deckard are not a thing anymore like I thought, because her and Crispin... who thinks Deckard and his friend that followed him home are gonna be a thing? Or he'll start to like and get along with Cas cuz they'll both bond over the shit around them being weird and maybe they'll be a thing? Then again there's that whole weird hate-boner, throuple thing with Toast, her baby daddy, and Cas...

Ok I think that's all my word and thought vomit. Also the sheep thingie guys, wonder what happens to them since they failed. They just, keep chasing these guys all around as they continue to go on adventures for forever?

I loved the open ended weirdness of season 1. But then they gave us plot in season 2, and now I REALLY feel like we need just a short "tie up loose ends" one episode special, or short 3-6 episode season 3. Or I mean this is fine too, just leave well enough alone I guess. I don't know I just love Bee and Puppycat and need more of it.

[comradekatara]

disgustingly fandom-brained ask: in the fionna and cake au, who is betty- yue or suki? yue is very self-sacrificing, and her ultimate sacrifice grants her more autonomy through becoming a deity. suki however is a redhead, is a sort of badass historian/antiquarian like betty, and shares many of betty's non self-destructive traits. suki's exposure to jazz music makes her moves less predictable, i.e. betty. sokka is simon, toph is fionna, momo is gunter

JFC 😭😭😭 there’s so much happening here

okay first of all i think zuko is guntzie (although i am specifically referring to original gunter aka the little dino boy. master evergreen is like if ozai wanted to destroy the comet instead of harness its power for further destruction, i guess? but yeah orgalorg!gunter would be momo u right)

toph IS fionna though i hate to say it bc toph gets away with her wanton destruction bc she’s twelve so it’s charming (i love fionna but she’s terrible, muriel). but yeah they both move through the world feeling depressed and stifled until they are granted access to the “real” world and in the process realize that their insular existence is a lie, but because they have all this pent up energy and rage aren’t fully cognizant of the consequences of their callous violence (at first). and the progression between fionna&simon and toph&sokka is also paralleled as it goes from "who the hell is this loser nerd" to mutual recognition and understanding and beautiful best friendship.

sokka as simon is such a crazy connection to make bc i never would’ve thought of that but it’s literally so true. sad depressed lonely clown times. (is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world…) i’ve said before that i think sokka would also struggle with existing after the end of the war because he’s spent so long living for other people that he doesn’t actually know how to live for himself, as a person and not as a sacrifice. like if he felt like his services weren’t needed yeah he’d probably try to kill himself too. but if simon of all people can somehow learn to value himself and believe that he is worthy of existence then okay maybe sokka can too (i doubt it, but maybe that’s because simon’s acceptance felt too easy to me, so i see sokka reaching that revelation even less). neither of them is able to register the impact they have on other people because their self-esteem is too low to actually process that they mean something outside of what they can do. and no one suspects that they’re not fine because of course they’re fine they’re great in fact. (also what gene yang did to sokka in the comics IS as egregious as simon becoming ice king. to me.) yeah… im gonna be thinking about this so much now. thanks a lot

as for betty, you’re right that both suki and yue have obsessive, self-sacrificing tendencies because they are both mirrors of sokka and thus have a lot in common with him and each other (it’s about duty it’s about sacrifice it’s about eschewing selfhood and committing to a life of servitude for the good of the community) so they both have equal claim to being betty but i would say that yue is more bettycore because she literally does sacrifice herself to become a cosmic entity, and although she doesn’t do it for sokka specifically (and in fact does everything in her power to avoid sokka, which is the opposite of what betty does, although ahh does that make ice king hahn? much to think about), she does kiss sokka during her transformation. but then again suki literally chooses to stay behind in prison for sokka even though she’d already been there for months by that point. they’re both obsessed with sokka but their duties are not “saving sokka” specifically so it’s not the same as betty who throws away her whole life for simon. but yeah i think it’s yue. i mean she’s literally a princess. and she haunts sokka. and he feels responsible for her “death.” she’s both alive and not. but either way it’s crazy. you’re insane for this.