#i am literally this close to shutting down WHY CANT I ORDER THAT

[willowfey]

i just had the worst autistic experience at a quick serve restaurant where i was trying to order the “chicken with 2 sides” option, which i was trying to make macaroni and yuca fries.

what the employee SHOULD have said was “yuca fries cannot be chosen for this meal as they are a Specialty Side, and only original sides qualify for this specific meal”. i would have understood perfectly. instead what did she keep repeating to me over and over, getting annoyed when i didn’t understand?

“what it says on the menu and what you’re asking for are two different things”

….. bitch what?????

i damn near cried no matter what i asked she would not explain it to me differently i was ready to give up my order entirely until my mother stepped up to figure it out for me.

catch me making my own food at home for the rest of the WEEK at least

[princesssmars]

i'd love just about anyone, so why was it you?

a victoria neuman x reader

your talent for singing is finally starting to take you places in the city of lights. so why did it have to introduce you to a woman who might ruin it all?

wc : 10.248

contains : fxf relationship. readers hair and skin aren't described. fluff. angst.nsfw including sex and language. the french. barely proof-read.

a/n : i cant believe there are no fics for this fine ass woman yet but i am nothing but a pioneer idk. in my daydreams this was like mafia au victoria but i literally never write or dream of those so i opted out lmao. go watch gen v. everyone always talks about how good the cover is but nonante-cinq by angele is a beautiful album so i recommend listening to that for french vibes. enjoy <3

it was the most stereotypical and overplayed song ever, but damn did you love la vie en rose.

just the concept of the song was romantic to you. to live every day like it would be magnificent, like you could know a day would be your last and look back at it and not regret a single thing. it meant looking at the world with a positivity that these days was mostly faked or artificial.

after the life you've lived, the things you've seen firsthand, you need that positive light in your life more than anything else. especially right now, as your manager is hounding you over the phone about your next gig.

now you loved your manager, nancy, you really did. she took you in and was honest when no one else would be, stood by you when no one else wanted to give you a real chance. but sometimes it felt like she didn't really believe in you. obviously, she believed you had talent, or else she would have 'left you in the dust for the rats to pick apart,' in her own words. it was almost like she couldn't fathom that what you had was real, like you didn't truly deserve all the things that were coming to you.

but as long as you were paying her, she didn't bother to speak up on it.

you were listening to her drone on and on into the speaker from your phone, holding the object up to your ear with one hand as you hold a menu to order something from the cafe waitress who's waiting beside you.

"ill have an uhhhh... le marie antoinette, and a coffee with sugar and cream please," you hand the menu to the waitress after she writes down your order, heading back into the cafe with a smile. this cafe was one of your favorites, nestled below an apartment building in one of the inner city arrondissements so you could sit outside beneath an umbrella and admire the city before you. "nancy, i don't see why i can't just...politely turn it down? it sounds like it's a glorified pin-up girl gig, le bellevilloise is offering for me to sing there exclusively for three months-"

"no, that's what im trying to tell you if you'd let me finish." you can hear nancy's telltale sigh through the phone. she had a short temper when she was stressed, something you sadly had in common, and you could hear her clicking a pen through the receiver. "this is an international gala slash fundraiser, attended by the one percent of the one percent. billionaires, senators, diplomats, everything. the event organizer asked for you specifically, so turning it down is a bad look. aka, you're doing it. go out and get a pretty dress. ill send you more details later."

the phone shut off and you let out a huff of air, crossing your right leg over your left beneath the table. once you have your meal and bite into your pastry you can't help but close your eyes at how good it tastes; the combination of the crunch of the macarons, the near-overwhelming sweetness of the cream, and the savory juice that leaks from the raspberries never gets old.

you don't know how you feel about this whole gala thing. sure its a great way to make connections and earn a fat stack of cash that will probably last you few weeks, but you've learned before that the people that you most admire, celebrities, politicians, even superheroes, can't be trusted. and being in a room full of them to perform wasn't at the top of your christmas wish list.

but like everyone else in the world, you were finding money hard to pass up on. just by the lowball nancy told you, you'd be able to comfortably pay the next month's rent and fix up your electric scooter, maybe even enough to save up for that beautiful flat you saw online with the grand windows and nice floor plan.

it'd only be a few hours of singing and kissing up to a bunch of snobs and you'd be done. easy peasy.

finding a dress wasn't to hard. your modeling connections from before you started to focus on singing gave you access to a few, good quality clearance pieces for your picking. you figure that the people you were performing for would prefer something classy and elegant, so you picked out a sleeveless black dress with black opera gloves, accessorized by a diamond necklace and earrings. one of your stylist friends, alex, who you asked to help do up your hair told you 'you're definitely gonna shag a rich man looking like this, just ask them if they have any friends for me!' and after a quick 'please don't wish that upon me' and a spritz of perfume you were ready.

the hours before you got on stage were nothing short of both nerve-racking but exhilarating. you rode in a standard taxi, your slight jitters noticed by the slightly balding man in the front. he eyes you pretty oddly when you got in the car before using you if you were a model, telling you that his daughter would like an autograph if you were. you felt slightly flustered when you had to tell him you weren't, but gave him some tips to tell his daughter if she wanted to pursue it. after around twenty minutes of driving through the city the car stops and you're escorted by a crew member into a grand building, those types you pass by and dream of getting the chance just to step into.

after that its a rush of meeting the event planner who gives you another run down of the evening and then meeting with the band members, a nice group of jazz players who you had heard about on the news for their blends of old and new methods of performing music. they played you a piece on their instruments in their dressing room, and it felt like hanging out with old friends listening to tunes as one twirled you around and the others laughed and the air felt warm and fuzzy.

later its time for your set, where you'll sing as the guests come in and take occasional breaks to save your breath and let whoever is hosting this talk. so you get up on your mini stage, make sure you look alright and you're in tune with the band, and then you do what you do best.

you've never felt better than how you do while you sing. every time you do so you tell a story, tales of success and tragedy and love and heartache. while you sing your favorite thing to do is to admire the crowd. when you were younger it gave you horrible stage fright, but as you grew up and saw just how much people loved your voice it made you confident, if not the tiniest bit narcissistic.

as you look out at the guests of tonight you see what's expected. important and powerful men donned in suits, their wives standing on their arms in glamourous gowns, you swear that you even see some fairly famous celebs in the mix, and they were all listening intently to you and your voice.

and that's when you saw her. near the back of the room with a glass of red wine in her hand, dark hair flowing over her shoulders, and darker eyes trained on you. in this profession you get used to people staring at you for hours on end, but something about this woman unnerves you slightly.

a short while later your set is over and after a round of applause the organizer tells you to enjoy yourselves, and that you're free to indulge in whatever food is left. after a brief touch-up in the dressing room and making sure you look presentable, you head out to get yourself something to eat. you keep getting stopped by people telling you how beautiful your performance was, how they'd love to get in contact with your agent to book you for future events, and your regular dose of creepy old guys hitting on you. but besides that things were going pretty well.

some servers were waking around with trays of champagne, but you figured since everything was complimentary you would treat yourself to something stronger. you head to the bar and order yourself a strong cocktail, and as soon as you finish your order a figure sits on the stool next to yours.

"get me a scotch on the rocks, thanks."

you glance at them from the corner of your eye and feel your heart beat faster when you see

it's the woman from before. from this close distance, you can admire her entirely, and god is she gorgeous. she looks so put together, not a hair out of place, and wearing a perfectly tailored suit that makes you guess she's some kind of wealthy businesswoman.

after not so secretly checking her out, she turns her body towards you and looks at you with a smile.

"im sure you already know, but you have an enchanting voice."

you look down bashfully, thinking the same about her. she speaks like she's so sure of what she's saying like there's no room for debate or argument.

"thank you. no matter if i know or not, it doesn't take much to make me a little nervous every time i perform."

the bartender brings over both of your drinks and she tilts hers to you.

"trust me, theres no need. you're nothing but a natural, one of the best singers i've ever heard."

"ah, now you're exaggerating. is there a reason you're complimenting me like you're being paid to do so?"

she shakes her head, setting down her glass of liquor with a clink. "not anything nefarious, if that's what you're thinking. just glad i get to talk to a beautifully talented woman."

jeez, she was laying it on thick. normally this was coming from some fifty-year-old man with greasy skin and weird teeth, but it felt nice coming from her. she was obviously gorgeous, leaving her body language open in case you wanted to decline and she would walk away in a moment's notice.

"im glad i get to talk to you too, miss?"

"victoria. its a pleasure to talk to you, miss y/n."

for around an hour or two the both of you sat at that bar, blocking out the fake laughs of investors and boisterous noises of people who got a little too friendly with the free champagne. she was so attentive to you. asking about what got you into singing and what brought you to paris by your non-native accent. you normally kept the finer details of your past a close-guarded secret, but you figured there couldn't come any harm from telling this attractive stranger a few things about yourself before never seeing her again.

"you're telling me at only sixteen years old, you flew to paris by yourself and made a living for yourself? you've got balls on you, sister."

"yeah yeah, but im nothing special. i just got tired of all the bullshit in the u.s., y'know? the greed, the cynicism, the-"

"superhero bullshit?"

you giggled while she smirked, observing your smile and how it made your eyes squinch.

"well i wouldn't put it like that but...superheros? really? its just, they make it so american, in a really really annoying way. i just couldn't deal with that being a reality. and where better than paris? it seems like voughts all but forgotten about it recently, thank god.”

"i understand. and i know we just met, but it does suit you. 'beautiful runaway finds passion, life, and love in the city of lights'. best cliche there is."

"and what a damn good cliche it is to be. although i haven't been that lucky on the love front."

her eyebrow raises and her nail traces around the rim of her glass.

"im sorry but i simply cant believe that. someone like you would have people lining up for a chance to talk to you, let alone date you."

you dryly chuckle before taking another long swig of your glass of champagne, dancing just on the edge of being intoxicated. you understood why everyone else was drinking this, it was sweet but strong.

"people have tried, of course. but sadly most of my escapades end in tragedy. very melodramatically. but enough about me, I'm guessing this isn't gonna go my way and you have someone waiting for you at home?"

"im offended you still think so low of me. but no, there was someone but it didn't work out. now its just me and my daughter."

god, she was a milf. if there was a god you prayed he would let you get lucky tonight.

"well, im sorry to hear it didnt work out."

"are you really?"

she looks at you with a smirk on her face.

"no, im not."

that was all she needed to ask you to come back with her to her hotel.

and not just any hotel, she was rich enough to be spending two weeks in the damn ritz. asking again what she did for a living didn't get you very far, the only hint you got being that it helped her change the world. ominous but whatever. it had to be legitimate if she was invited to that gala.

the cautious and common sense side of you is snuffed out for the night the moment she set her hand over the covered skin of your thigh in the car, the feeling of her hand on your lower back leading you through the pristine lobby of the hotel, that same hand helping you take off your dress and take you apart slowly over the rest of the night.

when you wake up the sun is peeking through the curtains, the softness of the sheets your laying on calling you back to sleep before you get up and look around.

you only got a few seconds to admire the room last night before victoria was on you, and now in the light of day you could truly take everything in. you find a note left by the woman, letting you know she had to leave temporarily for an important job thing and that she'd be back my lunch, inviting you to call up room service and enjoy the room intil then.

you were expecting for her to tell you to pack your shit up and go, so despite the oddness this was a nice surprise. besides, there was no way you were gonna pass up on ordering a five-star breakfast you didnt have to pay for.

after indulging in a meal brought by room service and finding ways to pass the time, you text your manager after she happily lets you know that your night was a success and that your payment should be cleared shortly. while you're in the middle of wondering if you should answer her query about the host wondering where you wandered off to last night, the sound of a door opening makes your head jerk towards the small entry area, victoria coming in through the doorway dressed in a tan suit and carrying a large black briefcase on her arm.

"ah, youre still here!,” she sets her bag on a glass table near the door and strides into the room, eyes connected with yours the whole time. you weren’t feeling nervous before, but under her gaze you wonder if maybe you should have taken that free meal along with some tiny soaps from the bathroom and headed back home.

“yeah, figured i’d stick around for whatever. besides, i had to stay and blame you for my manager thinking i got kidnapped.”

“i’ll make sure to apologize and send her an edible arrangement. besides, i hope to take up more of your time in the future.”

your eyes bulge so hard you’re sure you look like a moron. you cover it up by getting up to get yourself another cup of coffe from the tray the food came in on.

“well i should’ve guessed this was more than a one night stand when you allowed me to order up breakfast. but now i have to admit i’m slightly scared you’re actually plotting to traffick me.”

"trust me, that wouldn't be good for business. id just like to see you some more, if that would be alright with you.

was that an actual question? after the night you had and the way she’s been treating you, you didn’t see much of a choice except to say yes.

she tells you that a few hours later she has a flight back to america, but that she wouldn't mind spending the day with you if you're free. you agree to get a little bite to eat and it turns into a whirlwind day of showing her around the city you call your home. she has to wear giant sunglasses the whole time and have a mysterious security detail not too far behind, but you wouldn't change anything about it.

at the end of it all, she bids you goodbye in front of your taxi, admiring the cute outfit she bought for you so you wouldn't have to go home in your dress from the night prior, promising that she'll keep in touch with you once she gets settled in back a new york, jokingly telling you she'll send you a postcard. as you sit in the back of the taxi, your heart inflates a little as you take in the events of the last day. you never liked to mix business with pleasure in this way, partly because most of those business people were gross perverts and also that it could damage your career beyond repair, but with victoria you can't help but think that it was worth it.

eventually, a few days pass by, and the only calls you've gotten are from friends congratulating on what they heard was another great performance. and as nice as all the praise and the new gigs you started to get felt, the longer you heard no word back from victoria, it started to eat away at you inside.

back at your favorite cafe you sit with two of your oldest friends, jamie and chloe, as they ramble about the details of their changing lives and jobs. you don't know when you zoned out but eventually, chloe's manicured finger lightly pokes at your cheek, giggling when you make a playful motion to bite it.

"where'd you go just now? take me with you before jamie keeps talking about his new lover."

"hey!" jamie pouts, "you're just jealous because i've been regularly having passionate sex allll night long while you're still vying over your boss." you hear a shocked gasp behind him and you all turn to see an elderly couple looking at jamie like he's said the most blasphemous thing they've ever heard.

"really classy, james." you snort.

"what the hell! you're supposed to be on my side! everyone has noticed how you've been in a better mood since that gala. alex told us how they checked up on you afterwise and you showed up a day later with a new outfit and a hickey on your neck."

"that is- god, that’s so intrusive and so like them,” you rolled your eyes. you knew as soon as alex saw you that morning that they’d be gossiping to everyone about the state they saw you in. “and i don’t kiss and tell like that. at least not in public like this.”

“ok, so we’ll stop by your place tonight with some wine and talk all about it tonight. agree?”

“what? no-”

“agree!” chloe beams and shakes hands with jamie across the table, blowing you kisses before leaving her share of the bill on the table and leaving with some excuse of having to be somewhere. you glare at jamie as a warning before he gives you a kiss on the cheek and does the same. you grumble before biting into your muffin.

a few hours later you’re sitting on your soft sofa with jamie’s head in your lap and chloe on the other side, talking and laughing about old stories from your jobs. you take a sip of merlot right before jamie brings up what you were hoping they’d forgotten about by now.

“ok ok, enough chatter. seriously, chlo, you cackle like a seagull. y/n, when are you going to tell us about this mystery lover of yours? do you need another glass of wine to start talking?”

“don’t even think about pouring me another glass. look, there’s not much to say, ok? i was singing, she was staring at me from across the bar, we flirted a little, that was it!”

they stared.

“you want more?”

“how could we not? we haven’t seen you like this with anyone! not since we took you on that tourist tour on the seine!”

that…that took you for a spin. you remembered it clear as day, them tugging you along when they’d heard since you came to paris you’d been focusing on building up your image and working. it was more a joke, but the lights of the boat, the sky and the lights made you feel like you were in the most perfect moment of your life. hearing them compare that to how you looked now had a nervous feeling building in your gut.

“we spent the night together. and it was…good. really good. she let me stay while she went out, bought me a new outfit then said she’d be in touch.”

your friends are silent. way too silent. you’re afraid they’re about to laugh and judge you before they’re squealing and tackling you, pulling back when you groan after you almost spill your wine on your clothes.

"god, why are you always the lucky one? this isn't fair! at all!" chloe groans while dramatically resting her head on your shoulder, jamie still giggling as the wine clearly starts to take an effect on him. "please, please tell us what happens next before i scream."

"no thats- i mean, thats it. so far. for now." you stutter along your words as your friends' faces go blank yet again, except this time without a hint of a chuckle or smile.

"what the hell do you mean 'that's it.'? she ghosted you?" jamie gasps.

"no, she didnt ghost me-"

"sweetheart, im sorry to say this but you have been ghosted. in a really dickhead way."

"its not like that! she's a busy person with a serious job and a kid and responsibilities!"

you briefly hear chloe snicker "milf?" before you roll your eyes.

"she's gonna contact me. and even if she doesn't, maybe it was just a nice one-time thing! everyone knows I'm great at those."

jamie snickers before chloe smacks his shoulder in a second.

"why? why did you laugh?"

they share a look before she smacks his shoulder again.

"would you stop? i have pains, you know this. but y/n, we know you. we love you. but your latest stints haven't been...the most successful. or left you in the best headspaces."

"he's right, honey. remember the last girl, hannah? one of the worst situationships i've ever seen. you told us you would be alright when she broke it off and then we found you at that lousy bar at eleven in the morning..."

you start biting at your lip. there was nothing you hated more than when they told you the truth about how you could act. it wasn't your fault that all the time your relationships got messy, or that you got attached a little quickly. people didn't understand but a life like yours could be lonely. standing up on a stage and performing for people who want you to do just that and only that: sing and look like a glamourous pin-up doll. most of the time its the other performers who even bother to ask if your throat is alright after singing for hours.

so yes, sometimes you rushed into relationships. and you might have done it again in the dumbest way possible.

"i just...she let me stay after, y'know? and she came back and brought me with her again. why go through that effort just to leave me behind like trash?" your friends pouted before closing in to comfort you, rubbing your back and giving you small affirmations.

for a month you go into a rut. unless it's performing or going to the dentist for a checkup you don't leave your house. you become pretty good acquaintances with the grocery delivery boy, benny, who started panicking when he realized he forgot one of your items until you assured him it was fine. it wasn't the first time you'd grown so oddly attached to a romantic prospect, and it wasn't the first time you'd gotten hurt by it. you spend your time moping on your couch and binge-watching your favorite show for the third time when your phone buzzes from beside you.

nancy schmancy : call me.

you rolled your eyes. she could have just called you in the first place, but no. she had to be extra about it. you press the call button and don't have to wait even five seconds for her voice to ring in your ear.

"do you want to know what mister barbier just emailed me?"

"i think you already have that answer for me."

"he said, and i quote, 'tell y/n i send my best wishes. her performance last night was hauntingly beautiful, and i'm hoping it was one of her greatest acts yet.'"

"if you ask me, it sounds like i did a pretty good job."

"it sounds like he thought you were singing your damn suicide note!" she groaned, and you could hear her face scrunching from over the phone. "i don't know what is going on with you recently, and i don't want to sound insensitive, but if you can't manage to keep your work and personal life separate, even i can't help you make it far in this business. clients may say they want you to be expressive but they only mean so far. unhappy music means unhappy customers, capeche?"

"i understand, nancy. ill send a personal apology to mister barbier."

"good. ill call you soon to let you know about any new gigs. take care of yourself. seriously."

the line clicks and you toss your phone onto the couch and take another sip of sauvignon blanc from your rose-shaped wine glass. it pained you to admit it, but nancy had a point. if you kept letting yourself mope in your feelings you'd run out of people who wanted you to sing, and if the point came where you were out of gigs...you didn't even want to think about it. if you weren't singing you weren't living.

only a few hours after that call you manage to get back to normal. you go out and get your own groceries, deciding to indulge yourself and buy the ingredients for some recipe you saw online months ago. one of your clients cries at your performance, ecstatically telling you they'll be in talks with your manager to set up a stable contract. things really start to look up. two weeks later you even manage to get the number of a cute girl, elise, a tall woman with dyed hair who reached for the same vintage music box as you at an open market.

you're smiling as you look down at the messy ink on a slip of paper, the numbers and tiny smily face distracting you as you enter the hallway to your apartment. so distracted that you nearly trip over a object on the floor, looking down to see...a bouquet?

a really gorgeous bouquet you notice as you bend over to pick it up. its a collage of dusty blues and off-colored ivories, and when you brought it closer to your nose for a whiff you felt a sense of bliss. you bring it into your apartment with a skip in your step before you spot a piece of paper among the flowers, plucking it from the collection and reading it over.

upon closer inspection, you can see its a postcard, the cover a flattering shot of the statue of liberty with text that reads "love from new york city!". you try to calm your heart down at the location and the 'love' part, but you've already gotten your hopes up when you turn the card around to read the message:

xxx-xxx-xxxx

sorry for the wait. i'll make it up to you, angel.

you'd never felt so conflicted as you did in the past five seconds. half of you was vindicated that yes, this attractive woman didnt leave you high and dry and did actually have a deeper interest in you, but the other part was angry. and embarrassed that you were angry, because again, you spent less than a day with this woman, she didn't owe you anything. but also yes the hell she did.

before you could get yourself together you were harshly tapping the number into your cell, biting at your lip as the phone slowly rings.

"y/n, is that you?" echoes from the line, victorias voice sounding and running over your head like soft silk. no, no, stop it. focus.

"howd you know it was me? im sure you have other people who'd be calling you this late."

"certainly not anyone with a phone number from paris. besides, i was hoping it'd be you."

"well, i would have been flattered two weeks ago but unfortunately i dont think your words could phase me right now."

she sighs and the line goes silent. you feel bad for being catty for a few seconds before you brush it off. she's the one who played with your emotions and promised to call you but never did. she had this coming.

"im sorry, really i am. i've been busy with things at work and my daughter-"

damn it, she pulled the kid card again.

"i just...dont like being lied to. or led on. maybe its my fault for beeing too clingy-"

"no, no. dont apologize. if it means anything youve been on my mind for weeks now."

"yeah, same here. except my thoughts havent been all that nice." you laugh.

"deserved. and id like to make it up to you."

"oh yeah? let me guess, this time we'll spend two nights together?"

"close. how about two weeks. in new york."

you don't know if you should laugh. you feel like you should, so you do. but she isn't.

"you...you're being serious."

"im being serious."

what do you even say? what do you even do? of course, whatever higher power there is would make your life stable and steady for the past few months then throw this in to shake you up. you really should have been expecting it, considering...

you shake yourself back to the present. victoria is still waiting on the other line, unwilling to rush you into a decision, apparently. you'd applaud her for her chivalry if you weren't so stunned.

"victoria, come on. we've only met once, and while it was nice it was brief. now you want me to upend my life and career to jet off to america? it sounds crazy."

"you make me a bit crazy, honestly. besides, you were telling me in bed you haven't been in the states since you left, i have a feeling you miss it more than you let on."

you shuffle in your spot, reminded that you're standing in your cold-ass kitchen and you haven't changed out of the outfit you wore out today. but half of your uncomfortableness is from a feeling gnawing at your chest because she's right. at this point you can barely remember the night you left your childhood home, but you know it was rushed. you wanted to forget everything.

"i think you're also forgetting that i have a blossoming career here. are you gonna pay my definitely going to be pissed off manager her wages? plus i was supposed to be first pick for this really good gig-"

"i'll pay for everything, i promise. dont forget that i have connections. in two weeks they''ll be singing you praises across the globe."

you close your eyes and take in a breath.

"can you make my ticket first class?"

-

one thing you didnt miss about america? just how...much everything was, all the time.

your flight was quiet. victoria didnt hesitate to book you an expensive ticket, almost taking offense to your request for a nice one and scheduling you for business class, sending you a text to get lots of rest in the ultra-luxe beds on the plane. it was probably one of the best nights sleeps you'd had in months.

when you got off the plane there were two tall escorts holding a sign with your last name on it, taking the suitcases from your hands before you could say anything and leading you into a sleek black car. a voice in the back of your head starts screaming but you ignore it. for now.

the men in the car give you some basic rundowns, how they'll constantly be hovering over you during your stay for your "protection", and that they'll be taking you to settle into a hotel until victoria makes contact, and the little voice starts freaking out again and telling you that you've slept with and are fraternizing with a mob boss. at least it's more exciting than your last few flings.

the car goes silent after that, and you put in your earbuds as you watch the city go by. you weren't from new york, but you loved watching movies set in the bustling cityscape. the buildings really are humongous, and you see so many different types of people it sets your brain on a whirlwind.

you look back down at your phone after the fifth 'the seven' advertisement in one block.

yet again you're led into a clearly extremely expensive hotel, breezing through reception before you are led to a luxuriant hotel room, the bodyguards ignoring you as you giggle and flop onto the bed, waving them off when they tell you they'll be posted outside.

the sheets feel heavenly on your skin, and with the soft sunshine from the window beaming down on you and the gentle hustle and bustle of new york outside, you think you could fall asleep in a minute. but, begrudgingly, you peel yourself form the bed and open your suitcase to start putting your clothes away before taking a quick shower in the giant bathtub.

just as you exit the shower and wrap your body in a towel, your phone starts ringing and as soon as you read the 'v' in the contact name you push answer and bring it to your ear.

"hello? vic?"

"hey, hon. eager to talk to me?"

"you called me. and 'hon'? really? we've moved to petnames already?"

"figured id start making up for those weeks with no contact. and id like to do so again tonight. i wanna bring you somewhere."

your mouth quirks up in a smile as you re-adjust the towel around your body, the phone nearly slipping from its quick placement between your phone and ear, "id really like that. i hope its out to dinner, i didnt care to eat any of the plane food."

“yes, it’s to dinner. but its up to you if you want it to be fancy or casual. i know its tacky but there’s this pretty cute french place near where i live...”

“that vaguely sounds like an invitation to your place, but ill let it slide. are you gonna pick me up or are your special agents going to escort me everywhere for the next few weeks?”

“special agents? what agents?”

a bead of water drips from your neck down your back and it feels like the tip of a knife. a pressure builds in the back of your throat and your fingers grip the fabric of your towel. “what…that’s a joke, right?”

her laughter rings in your ear and you are seconds away from hanging up the call.

“sorry, sorry. i sometimes have a weird sense of humor. you'll get used to it.”

“i doubt it.”

“and i'm hopeful. i'll let you go so you can get ready, i'll be by in under an hour.”

you hang up after a sweet goodbye and gently sit on the toilet. your brain is rushing to catch up after the conversation like your body goes on autopilot when you hear victoria's voice. its terrifying and its thrilling. and you don't know why a part of you likes the feeling.

after you brush your teeth, do some quick skincare, debate over shaving just in case, and spend twenty minutes picking out a cute outfit, you finally hear the gentle knocking on the door while you're double-checking over the content of your purse.

rushing to open the door, you're greeted with the sight of a smiling victoria, her hands tucked into the pants of her clearly expensive pinstriped pantsuit. you're admiring the look of her hair tucked back into a ponytail when she's reaching forward and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

"you look perfect. come on, i made us a reservation."

and it turned out to be a perfect night. she did end up taking you to the french place, allowing you to order whatever you wanted. that place was weirdly empty, only a handful of other patrons inside. you were pleased to see that the waitress was french herself, having a small chat about the customs and foods she missed while she praised the authenticity of the food at the restaurant.

only a day and you had already forgotten how forward the people back home could be, because the waitress throws a subtle look at victoria and compliments you on finding such an attractive woman. when she leaves vic just smiles.

“ok, id say at this point we’re doing pretty good with the communication thing, right?” you ask, taking a sip of the pricey wine your date ordered.

“yeah, id say that.”

you finger the rim of your glass, the nerves getting to you before you ask your question. "i want you to tell me what your job is. your actual job, not some vague ass title. you have security following gus around, so i feel like i should know."

"no, no, you're right. i just didnt wanna scare you off. or have you think differently of me once i told you." she sighs, thumbing the napkins on the table. "i work in the government. i'm a congresswoman, to be exact."

you don't doubt she's a politician for a second, because she shows no hint of nervousness at your lack of emotion.

"are you...a good congresswoman?"

"i don't really know how to answer that." she laughs.

"i'm sorry. i knew you were important enough to be at that gala, but a politician is...tricky."

she reaches across the table and lays her hand palm up, smiling when you rest yours on top of it. "look, i get it. i should have told you sooner but please understand why i didn't. i wanted to get to know you as normally as possible, without all of the press and politics in the way."

"normally as possible, huh? that includes sleeping together on the first night?"

you're trying to show your acceptance of the situation with your humor, but you can tell victoria can sense your uneasiness at the situation. here you were thinking you had found some under-the-radar millionaire to dote on you and instead, you'd roped in someone whose job was entirely in the public eye that could be put in danger at the flip of a switch.

"how about we finish up and take this back to my place? i'll tell you everything that you wanna know about me. no matter how personal."

you stare into her eyes for a few seconds and decide that she looks genuine, getting confirmation that her daughter is staying with a friend before ending your meal and following her to her place.

for the amount of money she's ready to spend on you, you're surprised to see that victoria lives in a chic but quaint townhome only a twenty-minute walk from the restaurant. she gently takes off your coat and instructs you to sit with her on the couch, pressing on a remote to turn on her fireplace.

after a few hours and two more glasses of wine, victoria had opened up to you about nearly everything in her life. the mysterious death of her birth family, being adopted by a man who helped pushed her to go into a political career, her polite but loveless marriage with her ex. she even shows you a picture of zoe that she has in her wallet, taking the chance to gush over her daughter. she seems like such a sweet girl.

maybe it's the wine or maybe it's the way vic is opening up to you so freely, but you decide to tell her more about your past. how you always wondered why you barely stuggled moving to another continent at such a young age, or the fact that you dont even remeber why you had the drive to leave your parents home in the first place. you didnt even remember the last words you said to each other.

and throughout it all she's nothing if not attentive, she doesnt ask questions unless you give her permission too, keeping her eyes on you and gently placing her hand over yours.

you feel a turning in your stomach when she moves a stray hand of hair behind your ear. you told yourself to try taking things slow this time, but your body is starting to feel fuzzy and shes looking at you like she wants to devour you.

she decides to indulge you and gently brushes her lips against yours, smiling at the way your breath staggers. your head moves forwards to finaly get her to kiss you but she jerks her head back.

"i want you to tell me what to do."

god, your stomach feels hot. this is new, but a really arousing style of new. the last time you both slept together she had taken a careful but unwavering charge, unraveling you with a steady hand a sweet smile.

"cmon just...please?"

"no. tell me what you want me to do."

you sigh and bite at your lip. "i want you to lay me down and fuck me. right now."

so she laid you down and she did. there were no words to describe how much you enjoyed that night on her couch, the way she could read your body like a book and brought you to ecstasy again and again and again...

and when you wake up a soft blanket is draped over your body, a brekfast of coffee and some crepes set in front of you.

the days after are a whirlwind. discreetly as possible victoria takes you on a tour of new york city, to more expensive restaurants and hidden jewels that most tourists skipped over.

youre lounging in your hotel room when you decide to inform your friends of how your trip is going. while slightly hesitant they seemed more than happy that you were enjoying yourself with someone who took a genuine interest in you.

until you told them her job.

"my love, are you insane? a politician?"

"an american politician?" chloe gasps, continuing off of jamies shock.

"hey, im american too dont forget!"

"of course you are, but please, you understand why this is not good, no?"

"you know how fishy they are, especially with all the supe business going on. that place is getting more dangerous by the day, and i dont think you should be seeing someone whos contirbuting to that."

it pained you to admit it but jamie had a point. the three of you would always laugh in amused horror at how badly things were going on in your birth country, and the politics...it was less than pleasant.

not to mention the supe business. every corner of the world had to deal with the annoyance that was vought and their "products", even france. but so far you'd just had to deal with a few perverted looks from traveling supers and talks of some stupid theme park a few miles out of the city. meanwhile, it seemed like every day a new superhero was being introduced to the American public. it unnerved you.

"i understand. i appreciate both of you looking out for me. trust me, i'll be on my guard for now on." you mumble, picking at the material of your sleeve.

"of course, songbird. we'll call again soon."

the call ends and drop your phone on the nightstand. you look at the eiffel tower cutout in your phone case and your heart aches.

the next morning you're eating a a breakfast of coffee and fruit crepes when your phone rings, dragging your atttention away from the trashy dating show you were watching on the bedroom's tv. when you see nancy's name you hesitantly answer the call.

"nance? is everything alright?"

"everything is great. i'm just here to check in about your next gig."

"my next- nance, im on vacation. please tell you didnt forget and booked me for a job when im across the ocean."

"no, im not that stupid, hon." she sighs. "i didnt even arrange this job, victoria did. im just the messenger."

you blink once. then twice. you remember vic saying something about helping you with a job but you honestly just thought that was bullshit to get her to come stay with you.

(or get in your pants. but you don’t think you’d be too upset about that now.)

“ok. thank you, nancy. tell me the details.”

it’s a lot more extravagant than you expected. victorias friend, an actual senator, was holding a fundraising event for some government program he and vic were both involved in. nancy wasn’t told what the program was, but that you would have to go through a security debrief before being told you'd be given a team to help you prepare. and picking from a selected closet of dresses. fun.

you ignore the feeling of nervousness that’s building up in your gut. because while all of your gigs were important, they were never this important. you push it down as you call victoria and thank her endlessly, when you tell your friends the minimum amount that you can tell them, and when victoria picks you up from outside your hotel twelve hours before the event even starts.

she pressed a small kiss to your hand, laughing at the grumpy and tired mumble you let out when you sit in the car seat. it only passes once she gives you a coffee she picked up, the caffeine waking you up and putting a smile on your face.

the content feeling turns into shock when you enter victorias' place and see zoe, vic throwing a short explanation of “busy babysitter” over her shoulder as she heads into the kitchen.

its a bit awkward at first, sitting on one couch as she plays on a black nintendo switch on the other. it helps when you ask her about whatever she’s playing, the girl diving into a rant about the farm game she’s playing and how she’s trying to catch a certain type of fish.

victoria comes back with a tray of breakfast for the three of you before asking her daughter how school is going, how her friends are, etc. its nice to get a glimpse into victories private life during the morning, the close bond she has with her daughter. you notice some tension but decide not to bring it up.

the morning goes by too quickly, zoe being picked up to be dropped off at a friend's house after giving you a sweet goodbye and you getting rushed upstairs as the team comes to the townhome to help you prepare. its a nice change, having other people doll you up instead of having to worry about trying to do everything correctly and by yourself. and its a perk you don't have to spend your own money to do it.

the team members are nice but punctual, finishing your hair and makeup in record time with not a second wasted. you barely get time to notice yourself in the mirror before you're ushered into a gorgeous gown, soft fabrics and a chic and elegant style.

when your finished you’re finally allowed to observe yourself while your transportation and is prepared, and it feels like you’re looking at a dream version of yourself.

as you admire yourself in the mirror vic comes up next to you, clearly enjoying herself as her eyes slowly drift up and down your body.

“you look…ethereal.” she whispers, pressing a small kiss to your cheek after you turn to smile at her.

“only because of you. i don’t know how i could ever make this up to you, vic. this is just…”

“trust me, you’ve already done enough.”

while you knew there would be some press at the event, you didn't expect over two dozen paparazzi to quickly start flashing their cameras in your direction as soon as you got out of your ride. questions about who you were wearing, the relationship you had with vic, etcetera etcetera. you would've buckled from the sudden pressure if it weren't for victoria’s steady hand on your waist, the press of her arm through her red pantsuit.

the venue is downright insane, so grand you start to wonder if you're in one of those gilded age mansions you used to read about in new york magazines. climbing pillars and art on the ceiling of the main hall, which you don't get to admire since you’re yet again whisked away to get ready.

after a few more touch ups you aren’t afforded a minute to prepare, guided to the edge of the performance area. the sinking feeling is back in your stomach. the biggest moment of your life and you feel like you’re going to be sick.

the lights dim and you glide onto the stage, able to see the shadows of the guests faces from the flickering table lights. it’s eerie, the amount of them staring up at you with eyes you can’t even see.

you were given a set list a few days prior, only a couple of songs for the payment you would apparently receive after this. the songs piqued your interest, a collection of classical melancholic pieces from around the fifties. vic told you her friend was a vintage nut, but you didn't know why he chose these for you to perform when the event seemed to have an uplifting aura.

either way it felt…different, singing this time. the spotlight was on you and you’ve never felt as beautiful as you did in this moment. everyone was watching you, so hooked on the melodies escaping your body that you could see the emotions brining some people to the edge of their seats.

you don’t let it show but you grow a bit anxious at the sight of supers in their uniforms in the crowd. you don’t see anyone from the seven, but you do notice a woman you recognized from some commercial about climate change and earth preservation, the green of her dress and the nature motifs in her outfit give you a clue as to what her power was.

just when you feel yourself about to slip, dangerously close to hitting a note at a weird pitch, you see victoria, getting deja vu at the sight of her staring at you from the bar like the first night you met. she's looking at you like she's never doubted you for a second, like you're an angel sent from above that's blessed her life.

you hold her gaze when you sing. noticing the soft smile on her face when you sing a lyric about how the feelings in your heart feel so intense you fear you're going insane.

when the first song ends the lights come back on and you're met with a polite yet thunderous applause, the smile on your face so wide your cheeks start to hurt. the presenter comes back on stage, praising your performance with a swipe at his eyes before telling the guests that the host would be on shortly, and after he gives a short speech you'd be back to sing some more. with a gentle nod and wave, you step off the stage.

you feel like you're walking on air, with no doubt that was one of your best performances yet. your emotions got a little intense there but nothing you couldn't manage, and everyone seemed to like it anyway.

you're able to send a quick text and a picture to jamie and chloe before you hear the sound of the door to your quaint dressing room open, not able to turn around before you feel hands around your waist and plush lips on the side of your neck, the sight of victoria wrapped around you in the mirror making butterflies swarm in your stomach.

"i take it you liked my singing?"

"like doesn't even begin to cover it," she mumbles into your neck, raising her head slightly to be able to hold eye contact through the mirror. "i'm so lucky i found you, y'know that?"

you playfully brush her off, telling her you have to freshen up for some mingling before you get back on stage. she gladly helps you with your makeup, and while you weren't expecting her to be so touchy tonight you definitely aren't complaining, especially when her hand starts to drift closer to the space between your legs. it takes an embarrassing amount of mental strength to deny her, promising you'll continue once you go back to her place.

once you're finished getting ready she leads you back out to the hall, introducing you to numerous business people, politicians, celebrities, etc. you try not to fangirl when you meet a singer whose songs you've been obsessed with lately and when she asks you to perform at her cousins wedding. victoria just smirks when she leads you away and you let out a tiny squeal under your breath.

once the networking is done you're able to take the time to sit down and eat some of the catered food, almost moaning at the tastes of the food. you sometimes forget just how good food could be in the states, and these rich people pulled out all the stops. you try not to eat too quickly or impolitely as victoria talks with her tablemates, some people from her job apparently. after the first introductions and praises they gave you you mentally tapped out of the situation. she luckily covers for you when they question your mood, laughing when she tells them you've had a long day of being treated like a singing barbie doll.

everyone in the room quiets down when the hos taakes the stage and starts his speech. he introduces himself as robert stendham, and you feel a little embarrassed that this man gave you the chance to sing here and you didn't even know his name. you're thinking about how odd it is that you weren't introduced before this when he mentions something about the program and you perk up.

"...extend a personal thank you to general jameson for finding the time to escape his duties to fly in and be here with us tonight, and a special thanks to director neuman for helping me with this project and finding the beautifully talented y/n to perform for us tonight."

there was a brief few seconds of applause, victoria looking around and giving out smiles while you wondered what the hell she was the director of.

"as you can see, we have a few supers with us tonight. people like hazelwood, whose efforts against climate change have lead to over a dozen organizations plating millions of trees and clearing millions of pounds of trash for the ocean. because that's what supers are supposed to do-protect us. not act like degenerates who get to do what they want because of their abilities."

your eyebrow twitches, sensing the slight anti-supe propaganda from the end of his speech. well, not anti every supe, just the ones who act like gods among men, which you could understand. but you still felt an uneasy feeling rising in your stomach. you feel vic's palm rest over the top of your hand under the table.

"which is why im incredibly honored that director and congresswoman neuman has extended a hand to me to invest in the federal bureau of superhuman affairs, and to further extend that hand to you to help participate in this monumental institution..."

everything is a fog and your brain taps out once he starts talking about what this burerua does, how they closely monitor supes and jail the ones who've caused public harm. your head feels hot and your chest feels cold, and you can't stop your body from going on auto-pilot and excusing yourself to the bathroom before finding some balcony on the higher floor.

the cold air of new york shocks your body back into normalcy, but the pounding in your head persists. it feels like a panic attack ut so much worse, like your fight or flight has been activated without anything even happening. had you rushed into all of this? chasing a girl and a dream like you were a teenager again?

yet again the door opens behind you and someone comes to stand next to you, able to tell who it is by the scent of brown sugar and the glimpse of dark hair blowing with the slight breeze.

"you alright? mr. brandon from the tech startup was asking about you, tried to make me invest in some room light plant grower hybrid-"

"why did you bring me here?"

you cut her off and the air is quiet, save for the sounds of cars and the city and the wind. it's weird, standing in a tense silence like this with her.

"how are you feeling?" she whispers .

"are you- " you turn, nearly giving yourself whiplash with the speed at which you turn to look at her. the look on her face, like she's just observing you and how you're reacting. it only upsets you more. "are you being serious?"

"yes, i am. tell me."

"no, answer my question first. why are you avoiding it?"

she sighs, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face before reaching to grab your hand, which you hesitantly let her hold.

"as you heard, im part of a buereau that monitors supherhumans, keeping track of them, making sure they cant use their powers for harm. so far we've only had to deal with supes here in the states. until one day, this couple comes in that believe their daughter has used her powers on them."

she reaches for something in her pocket and your grip tightens. she pulls out a polaroid and holds the picture up for you to see. you feel like you're going to vomit when you see you, smiling, standing with your parents in a backyard.

"what...what is this? how'd you get this?"

"the couple gave me this picture, and told me how weird the least few years have been. friends and family asking where their daughter went, how she was doing, a daughter they didnt even remeber having."

you bring a hand up to your head, hopelessly trying to dissipate the splitting headache that's forming.

"but then they said the memories started coming back. glimpses of a child running in the grass, birthday parties, graduations, talent shows-"

"stop, please just stop." you gasp, hunching over as good as you can with the restrictions of your gown. it doesn't even feel like the world is just spinning, it feels like its being played in some celestial game of pool. "so what, you're saying...you're saying i did that? to my parents?"

"yes," she reaches for the side of your face, guiding you to look up at her. "and you can do so much more. you already have."

this can't be happening.

"why do you think people react so emotionally to your singing? you think its just because you're amazing? that's not even half of it."

your breathing is picking up again.

flashes of memories start appearing in your vision. so many happy times with your parents that you forgot, friends that you left behind. how your parents didn't support your half-thought-out plan to become a singer, how you made them forget. made yourself forget.

"i don't want you to think i did all of this just for what i want. i didn't. i care about you, and i want you to help me. but you need to trust me."

the blood is rushing back and from your head, and you think about how weird her eyes look against the backdrop of the city before you pass out.

finally. FINALLY. ong i wrote like 1k in the past day because i said just get this shit over with but its done! 5 months later! hope you enjoyed :)

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 1 episode 7

ok were looking for this lady christines ex.

hes definitely dead

"dr korby"

what kind of bras do they have these ladies wearing

oh hes alive! neat!!

this episode is called "what are little girls made of?" bad omen i think

"can you beam down by yourself captain kirk?" hes going to kill you

this set looks like a zoo exhibit

"beam down two security men" theyre going to die

kirk stop grabbing her shes engaged

dramatic lights!!!

random other guy!

alien!!!

"bottomless pit" shut up

ok so this is where the redshirt thing came from

"dr korby was detained" what

why do you call dr brown "brownie"

dr brown is so evil

so were just skimming over the fact that a guy just fucking died

ohhhh nooooo not the other red shiiirrrrt

this is the most 60s secret lab ive ever seen

woah other woman. christine is obviously jealous

oh hey dr korby

WOW that is the most lustful kiss ive ever seen on television

woooaaahhhh these people are eeeviiiiil who couldve seen this comiiiiing

ok dr brown is a robot apparently

oh shit the alien guy can mimic kirks voice. the actors pretty good at lip syncing too

the aliens not allowed to disobey christines orders. hi chekhov is that ur gun on the table there?

"ruk destroyed them both totally against my wishes, i assure you" sure dude

"the old ones" shut up

this fight choreography is extremely homoerotic

does this show ever pass the bechdel test like ever?

andreas overalls are so stupid

ok so andreas a robot. korby showed this by having her kiss kirk. thats not consensual! go away!!!

theyre turning kirk into a robot??? they had to strip his clothes to do that???

theyre spinning him around. stop spinning him. please

apparently this guys fiancee used to be his student? thats icky

STOP SPINNING HIM

this show is so determined to sexualize kirk at every given opportunity. normally im fine with this but only when he has agency about it

theyre having gummies for dinner

andrea: "i am now programmed to please you, also. is the food appealing?" christine: "yes, thank you" star trek has now passed the bechdel test

this episode seems to have a theme about following orders

oh this episode is also about transhumanism

this episode is strongly criticizing transhumanism

kirk rolls a nat 20 on sleight of hand

hey kirk remember when ruk agreed to follow christines orders. how about you tell her that

oh she knows??? why didnt she take advantage of that before

i love when this show decides to enter the horror genre for a while. its great

weirdly phallic image of kirk holding a dick-shaped stalactite

cameras waaaayyyy too close for this fight choreo. cant tell whats going on

oh ruk is helping him!! yay!

uh oh robot kirk is on the ship

robot kirk commits a hatecrime against spock

"i felt quite at home on the enterprise" what do you mean "felt"

real kirk stop making out with the robot girl. what are you doing

stop trying to seduce the robot girl shes not into you leave her alone

this episode is also about the singularity

jesus christ korby just fuckin killed ruk

korbys a robot too :O literally didnt see that coming

robo korby is having such an existential crisis rn

andreas in love with korby apparently. ok

andrea and korby are dead now

spock: "dont call me slurs" kirk: "ok" (paraphrased) so does spock not know what happened. like at all

[writingtoforgetreality]

Faking To Pretend (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Request: cathy cathy cathy here i am with another request *sigh* i cant help myself your writing is just too good

i was wondering if i might request a steve rogers x reader fic where maybe reader and steve are paired up for a mission and have to pretend to be married (undercover) and some thing happen to kind of force them to admit their feelings for each other (maybe one of them gets injured? or kidnapped idk you do what you want to 😂) anyways LOVE YOU SO MUCH ❤️❤️ (by @msmarvelsmain), [Marvel-Masterlist]

Summary: Fake engagements, wedding plans & an undercover mission that jeopardized your well-being in the blink of an eye. Throughout it all, you somehow had to hide the fact that your feelings for Steve were just friendly, nothing more.

Words: 8,610

Warnings: language, angst, fluff, humor, argument, brief mentions of drugs, undercover mission (engagement & wedding plans), female pronouns used, that's pretty much it

[Mimi…this happens when our ideas get mixed up. LOVE YOU TOO!]

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

The familiar sound of a notification emanated from your phone. You deposited the book you had been immersed in onto the mattress & replaced it with the device. It confused you for a second when you noticed Tony being the one to message you. After all, you were literally in the same building.

Stark: meeting in 5.

(Y/N): you do know that you could tell me in person, right? just knock or something.

Stark: you’re too far away.

(Y/N): two doors, stark. TWO!

Stark: meeting in 4.

(Y/N): i hate you.

A loud sigh escaped through your lips. Typical Tony. Two could play that game. You planned on arriving right in time, not earlier. Maybe a few seconds too late. Anything to mess with him. At least he could get a taste of his own medicine that way.

“You’re a minute late.” Tony commented when he watched you walk inside the room. Your arms crossed over your chest as you leaned your shoulder against the door frame.

“You’re lucky I came in the first place.” you remarked. “Besides, I’m the first one here. Mission alone?” you questioned, raising your eyebrows while expectantly waiting for his answer. It was not usual for you to go alone. Except if the mission concerned grabbing pizza from the place down the block. You hoped for him that he did not pull that card, though.

“No but I wanted to discuss it with you before the others- oh, never mind.” Tony stopped talking when three more figures entered the room, brushing past your frame without paying too much attention to you. Sam. Bucky. Steve. What a damn combination. That was your team? Well, good luck. Everyone got seated on the chairs circling the big table but you stood your ground in the doorway. Steve patted the free chair next to his side, eyes flickering up to yours. A silent invitation you politely declined by shaking your head but you made sure that he could detect your small smile. Tony did not seem to mind & went straight ahead into explaining the mission you four had to perform. Most of the time, you zoned off though you really did try your hardest to stay focused. But when you glanced between the men in the room, you already knew the chaos that would come with them.

Basically, the team came across a signal emitting from the back of a small shop. From what you knew so far, it was some sort of a database that saved a whole lot of criminals. Some of them who you had fought in the past & some of them who you had never heard of but they sounded incredibly dangerous nevertheless.

“Question.” one of your hands raised & you waited for them to look at you.

“Go for it.” Tony pointed over to you, letting out a low breath because you were behaving as if you were in class & needed permission before speaking up.

“Why do Steve & I have to be the ones engaged?” normally, you would not care about undercover missions. But when said mission had you teamed up & fake-engaged to Steve? Well, you had a hard time separating work from personal feelings. Not that anything was going on between you guys but you would not lie if you said that you wanted to change it.

“What, do you want Sam & Bucky to be the couple in question?” Stark, in return, asked another question & you rolled your eyes.

“No, of course not.” that earned you disagreements from both, Sam & Bucky. Steve simply sat by, chuckling quietly while observing your conversation quietly.

“And Steve & you are close. It’ll be easier for you guys to pretend.” Tony casually stated & you had to fight the urge to avert your gaze. If you did, they sure as hell would realize something being wrong with you. And you were not about to be embarrassed in front of them. Maybe you already were but at least they did not know about it. After all, you were a fucking great actor.

“Uh-huh.” so you played it cool. As cool as the situation allowed you to be. “But why do we need Laurel & Hardy with us then?”

“Because I said so.” Tony used your most hated phrase & he damn well knew it. After a short pause, he turned a bit more serious again. “They’ll be Steve’s best men.”

“Wait.” your hand raised & you closed your eyes for a second. “Steve has two best men & I’m not allowed a maid of honor?” now everyone inside the meeting room was chuckling. Everyone but you.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Stark shrugged, brushing it off as nothing though he was aware that you were annoyed by his plan already.

“How is that fair?” you could not stop asking questions, somehow hoping that if you continued, you could get out of this successfully. Deep down, it was clear that the mission had been planned & you could not do anything to change it. Not even a single thing.

“It isn’t.” Tony admitted with a brief nod of his head. “But you’ll need Sam & Bucky on this one. So stop bitching around.”

“These are gonna be some long ass days…” you mumbled, putting your face in your hands in frustration.

“Enjoy!” & with that, Tony dismissed you, leaving you behind dumbfounded.

Sam & Bucky exited the room soon after. Steve & you were the only ones left.

“(Y/N)?” Steve’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. Immediately, the frown was replaced by a genuine grin. You found yourself in this state whenever he looked at you like that. Whenever he talked to you, actually. “Everything okay?” his eyes showed concern. They usually did when he noticed you zoning off.

“Huh?” you asked before the words had processed. “Oh, yeah. Of course.”

“I’m sorry about.” his hands gestured wildly, searching for the most suitable words. “The mission being uncomfortable for you.”

“No, it’s not uncomfortable.” you tried to explain yourself. “Just, sometimes I feel like Stark just wants to mess with me.”

“Well, if it helps cheering you up…I’ll behave.” he winked at you playfully & you hated how your body reacted to such simple movements.

“I’m sure you will.” you snickered. “My true worries are your best men.” a sly smirk spread onto your face & Steve could not hold back a chuckle.

“Yeah, I can’t control them.” he agreed with you. “I’ll see you around.” he walked past you, turning around one last time. You simply nodded at him, not trusting your own voice. While you handled the situation as best as you could, you wanted to avoid an awkward goodbye. Besides, you would set out first thing in the morning. You needed some alone time before shit started going down. Not that you expected this mission to fail. The exact opposite, actually. The four of you worked incredibly well together. Compensating other’s mistakes & improvising fast if needed. Mostly, though, you ended up straying from the actual plan & that was what had you worried. Because if you did not stick to it, things could turn real uncomfortable real quick.

As if the mission itself was not demanding enough, the car ride to even arrive at your destination was ten times worse. Steve was behind the wheel & you were lucky that you occupied the passenger’s seat & did not have to sit in the back with either Sam or Bucky. They were children, really. Right now, it felt like Steve & you were the parents of two incredibly challenging kids who could not shut their mouths. Not even for a second. Steve succeeded with ignoring them & he was concentrating on the road so that gave him another thing to do. You, on the other hand, were stuck without any distractions except for the bickering that was currently going on in the backseat. But you knew better than to interrupt them because if you did, it would only turn worse. So you took a few deep breaths & settled further into your seat, closing your eyes to maybe rest a bit before your arrival. What you did not notice was Steve glancing over to your figure, a smile playing at the corners of his lips as he recognized you attempting to sleep during the stress inside the car.

At least the hotel Tony checked you in was worth it. Fake-engagements had their perks. Especially if a luxurious suite was a part of it. Sam & Bucky were somewhere in another room but Steve & you, the two of you pretty much occupied an entire floor. That was how huge your room was. You did not even have to carry your own suitcases. There was an employee who helped you with that. What a nice way of living that was. If only you were not pretending. But why were you even thinking that way? You had a mission to perform & more importantly, you could not fail. And you would not if you solely focused on your task. It could not be that hard, right? You had done something similar multiple times before. It should be an easy one for you. But it was not. And the main reason was Steve. It was wrong of you to put the blame on him but how could you not if you literally had to pretend to be his fiancée? It felt like a secret wish you did not dare to voice. And yet he was here right in front of you, in the same room. A place you were supposed to share for the next few days. And you somehow had to play it cool. There was only one outcome. Burying your feelings deep down in order to not jeopardize the mission or your team. No matter how much your heart protested.

“(Y/N)?” you heard Steve’s voice as you were stepping out of the shower. Only a towel was covering your still wet body but you feared that, if you did not open the door right away, you were in danger somehow. That was your mind’s conclusion. Which really did not make any sense if you gave it a second thought. You opened the door a crack, risking a glance outside & eased when you only saw Steve on the other end. It was a natural reaction for you to push the door open wider. But you kind of forgot that you were not wearing any clothes except for that poor excuse of a hotel towel which was way too small for your liking. Steve’s eyes widened & he could not stop from letting them flicker up & down your body. You squirmed under his stare, arms coming to cross over your chest in order to keep the fabric in place. A few moments of awkward silence ticked by & you wanted it to end. So you coughed & gained his attention once more. His eyes were locking with yours & while you usually lost yourself in them, you were way more comfortable than having him eyeing your every part in great detail.

“You needed anything?” you stuttered out, hoping your voice did not sound all too weak but even to yourself, you were aware that you were failing.

“Um, yeah…” his cheeks turned rosy. One of his hands came up to scratch the back of his neck. “But I probably should’ve waited a couple minutes longer.” he should have but it was too late now anyway.

“If it’s nothing too important then I’ll go get dressed real quick, alright? I’ll take like two minutes.” you attempted an honest smile but it was underlined with a hint of embarrassment that was definitely detectable. Steve simply nodded, stepping back a bit so you could close the door once more. Your back rested against the wooden surface & you quietly sighed out with closed eyes. That was not what you expected. Fingers crossed nothing between you two would turn awkward from now on. But then again, he was your best friend & it was not like you were completely naked. Just barely dressed but covered enough so he did not see anything. You would be just fine.

With a decent outfit & regained confidence, you exited the bathroom & found Steve sitting at the edge of the bed, looking down at his hands where he shifted a small package between his fingers. His head snapped up when he heard your footsteps. You two exchanged a smile & it was then when you knew that your shamefaced encounter would not change the bond you shared. It was as if everything was the same old. And it was probably for the better.

“Was that why you needed something from me?” you gestured to the little box & Steve was brought back to reality. Right, there was a reason why he wanted to talk to you in the first place.

“Tony gave it to me right before we left.” he stood up & approached you with long steps. “Said it’d be more believable if you wore one.” Steve stretched out his hand so you could take the black package from him. With curious eyes & delicate fingers, you took it from him. Your eyebrows raised as your eyes met his but he only shrugged at you without giving you an actual explanation. Carefully, you uncapped the box & were shocked when you noticed the small, sparkling ring inside. The colors of the rainbow reflected in the diamond adorning the silver jewelry. It looked way too expensive for it to be a fake one.

“Tony wants me to wear an engagement ring?” you asked even though it was more than obvious. Maybe you just needed reassurance.

“Makes it more believable.” Steve repeated.

“It probably cost more than what I’ll earn in a lifetime.” you chuckled & closed the lid again.

“So you’re not gonna wear it?” he questioned cautiously. For a flicker, he turned insecure because maybe the reason why you refused to wear it was because you did not want people to believe he was your fiancé.

“Of course I’m gonna wear it! It’s stunning. Just…” you paused briefly & bit your bottom lip to contemplate your next words. “It’s expensive. I can’t risk losing it. I’ll put it on whenever we’re outta this room, though. I won’t be the one blowing our cover.” you assured & laughed because you were indirectly blaming Sam or Bucky to mess up. Steve silently agreed with you but did not say anything else as you situated the ring on the nightstand right next to the large bed. It was late, the moon already doing its job with providing a pleasant light that shone through the blinds & illuminated the gloomy suite. For tomorrow’s mission, you needed to be well-rested to fully function.

Steve insisted that you should occupy the bed on your own. He would be perfectly fine on the couch. The cushions of it were incredibly soft, Tony had paid a fortune after all, you still felt poorly for sleeping in the bed alone. Tomorrow would most likely bring him back pain. He was not the youngest soul, after all. Not that you would ever tell him. It was not meant as offending, though. If you were the one on the couch, your back would kill you as well. But you were too much of a coward to suggest that there was enough space for two people. That & you were scared that he did not even want to share in the first place. That could be an intelligible possibility. Your overthinking consumed quite a bit of time because when you heard Steve’s soft & even breaths, you knew that you were too late already. Maybe tomorrow? Maybe you could gain enough courage to ask him tomorrow. Why were you even so eager to have him beside you? What kind of question was that? You were very well aware why. The conversation you held with yourself in your mind came to an abrupt stop as exhaustion overcame & lulled you into a dreamless night.

Constant knocking stirred you awake. You groaned into your pillow because you were still tired but someone decided to shorten your rest. Assuming Steve was already up, you peeked over the blankets covering your body. You were right, he was opening the door. Appearing like he had not just got out of bed. Or off of the couch, in his case. Steve tried to be as quiet as possible, thinking that you were still passed out on the bed.

“G’morning.” you mumbled out & wiped your eyes with the back of your hands. Steve smiled at you. Right now, you looked cute. Pissed off because it was too early but that did not matter when you were all wrapped up in the blankets.

“Coffee?” he suggested & you immediately got into a sitting position at the mention of it. He had his answer then.

“Wait. What is this?” you gestured to the serving trolley Steve was pushing over to the bed. It was obvious what it was but you were bewildered because you did not expect him to order breakfast.

“Tony took our undercover mission very serious.” he shrugged, leaving the food next to you & wanting to grab a few things to eat by the table.

“No.” you shook your head & halted his movements. “I mean, come on. When was the last time you had breakfast in bed?” you patted the spot next to you. Steve paused for a second but after a short while of contemplation, he agreed & got seated on the mattress. Breakfast in bed. That itself would have been amazing but with Steve? It was almost as if a dream of yours got fulfilled. You needed to stop thinking that way. Undercover missions meant faking, pretending. Why were you struggling so much this time?

“I look like a bitch.” you commented once you got into your undercover outfit. Sam & Bucky were already in your suite & they complained about what a poor excuse their room was compared to yours.

“So what’s different?” Sam joked & earned a slap from you.

“First of all, if we don’t wear what Tony prepared for us, people will notice. And (Y/N)? You don’t look like a bitch, you’re good.” Steve commented & even though his words were not necessarily cute, they still did things to you.

“Woah, Steve. Nice ring you picked out there, pal.” Bucky spotted the diamond on your finger & could not help himself but tease you two about it.

“Could we all just focus on the mission?” funny thing that you were the one saying that. Considering that you probably struggled the most out of the four of you.

“Okay, got it. (Y/N) doesn’t look like a bitch but she acts like one.” Sam smirked & started sprinting through the suite when you took off to catch him. Steve & Bucky shook their heads & chuckled at your childish behavior. None of this was new, though. Things usually went that way when you were sent on a mission together.

“The signal comes from the back of this shop.” Steve whispered, all of you trying to stay undetected for the time being so you could discuss the plan further.

“It’s a pastry shop?” you pointed out & suddenly, three men were rolling their eyes at you. “What?”

“You expected something that sold knives?” Sam teased.

“Maybe, I don’t know.” you whisper-yelled.

“Sam, Bucky. You two enter the back while (Y/N) & I distract the guy.” Steve described your plan once more & you all nodded, each understanding their task. While you did not exactly know what you would do to grab the clerk’s attention, you were certain that you could think of something. Improvising was something you were skilled at, you simply hoped that Steve would not stand in the way.

“Welcome! What can I help y’all with?” the almost sweet voice of the man behind the counter was not what you would expect when you looked him up & down. At the same time, he really appeared out of place in a shop like that.

“Yes!” your enthusiasm, well fake-enthusiasm, was more than obvious & you wrapped your arms around Steve’s torso to get into character. “My fiancé & I are looking for some pies for our upcoming wedding.” Steve let you do the talking, his only response being a nod, underlined with a genuine smile.

“Ah, young love.” the guy clicked his tongue & shook his head slightly. “We have a variety of our best wedding cakes right here.” he pointed to a selection behind a class cabinet.

“No, no, no.” you contradicted. “We’d love to have pie at our wedding. I saw you have some delicious looking options over there.” you gestured to the other side of the shop.

“Pie at a wedding? Isn’t that a little unconventional?” the seller raised his eyebrows, seemingly suspicious & it looked like Steve noticed that as well.

“I think we’ll do fine with cak-“ but before he had the chance to finish, you nudged him with your elbow & shot him a look. “I’m sure your cake is great but pie reflects us better.” Steve corrected himself quickly once he realized what you were planning to do.

“Alrighty, then please follow me over there.” the place behind the counter was now free so Sam & Bucky had a clear path to enter. “Any preferences?”

“Anything, really.” you encouraged the man who opened the showcase. He was so busy with his task, Sam & Bucky had it easy to break in. The corners of your eyes spotted their figures. Now they just needed more time to successfully get the information you all needed.

“Can I ask y’all something?” the clerk spoke up after handing you yet another sample of pie. Truthfully, it was a dream come true. Spending time with Steve while eating pie after pie? If only you did not have to pretend. Did you pretend? Or did you fake to pretend? Your brain did not make sense anymore.

“Go for it.” Steve encouraged.

“You’re the first couple to ask for pie samples. What’s up with that?” the man asked curiously, no longer looking at you like you were suspicious but genuinely interested.

“Well.” Steve chuckled & you could not help but let your gaze flicker up to his face. “We are a very unusual couple. Pie at a wedding is unusual. It’s perfect.” while he spoke those last words, his eyes locked with yours & you could have sworn that time halted right then & there. But you had to snap out of it. For the sake of this mission. A look over the shop owner’s shoulder confirmed that you did not have to pretend too much longer. Sam & Bucky were already on their way out again, turning their heads in your direction to silently confirm that they were done. Successful? That you could not tell just yet.

A few minutes & another pie later, you looked at your watch on your wrist & gasped exaggeratingly.

“What is it, sweetheart?” Steve asked & you almost gasped again, though this time, it would have been for an entirely different reason.

“Um, it’s late, we need to head to the thing.” you were doing so well & now, at the end, you managed to slip.

“The thing?” Steve inquired & by the look on your face he could tell that you were overwhelmed & could not think of a proper excuse. “Oh, the fitting.” he quickly added, hoping nobody would ask which kind of fitting. Seemed like you two were lucky today.

“In that case…I’ll let y’all go. Do you want me to put the rest of the samples in a box for you to take home? That way you have more time to figure out which one to choose.” he reasoned & Steve & you nodded gratefully. Behind the counter, he worked quickly & handed you a paper bag in no time.

“Thanks, man. We’ll get back to you.” Steve waved, putting an arm over your shoulder as you exited the shop. The moment you were out, you could finally breathe again. Missions made you extremely nervous. Undercover missions such as this one, actually. During the others you were perfectly fine.

“Thanks for helping me out back in there.” you chuckled once you were out of sight.

“Pie? Really? Wouldn’t have surprised me if he just saw through us right away.” Steve said with a smile on his face. Good, so he was not mad at you.

“In my defense…The pies were at the other end of the shop so I helped Sam & Bucky.” you finished your sentence but it sounded as if you wanted to add something.

“And you love pie?” Steve did not even have to ask, he knew you well enough.

“And I love pie.” you repeated & laughed. Steve still had not let go of you, hugging you to the side of his body. You did not seem to mind so he kept continuing to hold you close.

Steve placed the paper bag on the small table right in the entrance area. Immediately, you went to the bathroom to rid yourself of that stupid outfit you had to wear & threw on something more comfortable. Once you exited, Sam was already in your suite. The four of you decided to have the meeting in your room because it was bigger & the others kind of wanted to move in with you.

“What’s in there?” Sam asked, pointing to the brown paper bag.

“Pie.” you simply answered without much thought. Sam hummed but did not say anything else. Steve & you were in the living room area, waiting for Bucky to show up so you could start discussing more about this mission. Specifically what they found out during their inspection. The creak of the door gained your attention & you looked up only to find Bucky entering. Your gaze then flickered to Sam who was hiding behind the door, pie in one hand, his free hand came to his mouth, telling you to be quiet. It all happened too fast, Bucky was in Sam’s sight & in an instant, there was a pie right in the super soldier’s face. Steve came right in time to watch the scene, his previous intention to greet his best friend completely forgotten now.

“Sam.” Bucky growled, way too quiet for your liking. But you could not focus on his warning right now. You glanced over your shoulder & noticed Steve’s almost sad expression. The only one who could not control his laughter was Sam. He was practically on the floor because he was laughing so hard. The only emotion running through you was anger.

“I. WANTED. TO. EAT. THAT.” you were seething & all three men turned their heads at your tone.

“Sorry?” Sam tried but you were having none of it.

“NO YOU’RE NOT!” you pretty much yelled.

“I’m gonna kill you.” Bucky whispered & Sam took that as his cue to run away, through that labyrinth of your suite. Bucky sprinted after him, leaving Steve to shake his head at their childish behavior.

“(Y/N)?” Steve’s voice was soft & yet it did nothing to calm you down. You really did love pie & you had been excited to eat the rest of it in bed tonight ever since you left that shop.

“WHAT?” you snapped back, only now realizing that it was not Steve’s fault. “I’m sorry.” you added almost inaudible.

“It’s fine.” he raised his eyebrows & opened his arms. You were not sure why but Steve wanted to hug you & you never declined one of his hugs. So you fell into his embrace, both of you silently knowing that this action was not because of a stupid pie. Though you had to admit that you were mad at Sam that you could not eat the rest anymore. This hug held a deeper meaning & for a few seconds, you let yourself enjoy it. Until a loud screech from the other room snapped you back into the present. Steve & you parted unwillingly. You had to, before Sam & Bucky ended up killing each other.

The four of you sat around the coffee table, you occupying the floor while the others each took a seat on the oversized couch. A pout was still very much present on your face. Yes, you were mad at Sam but you had other things, more important things, to deal with right now. Revenge could come later.

“So?” Steve was the one to speak up after nobody else made a move to do so.

“Sam & I managed to break in.” Bucky casually said as if you did not see that to begin with. That was the plan after all.

“But?” your tone was still harsh but you tried your hardest to push that aside.

“We couldn’t hack the system.” Sam finished. “That’s your specialty.”

“Okay, wait.” you closed your eyes briefly. “You wanna tell me that it took you what felt like an eternity to check out the back room only to sit here now & tell us that you couldn’t get the information?” you concluded with a loud sigh.

“In our defense…We know that we’re definitely looking at the right place.” Bucky commented, careful to not anger you any further.

“So what do you suggest?” Steve asked the two men.

“We’ll go there again tonight. All of us. (Y/N) here hacks the system & we’ll see what we can do after that.” Sam established the new plan & you nodded in understanding.

“I still hate you for wasting the pie on Bucky.” you crossed your arms over your chest.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Sam chuckled though you knew he was not planning on keeping his promise.

“Alright, please go back to your room before I do something I might regret later.” you motioned for Sam & Bucky to leave & they did after arranging a time to meet again.

Since you had the brains in this group, it was an easy one for you to deactivate the security cameras without being seen. After that, you went on to the alarm system & turned it off as well. Which meant that you were free to go. It was the dead of the night, nobody was around. You could enter without a single soul watching you. Steve pushed his body weight against the back door. Once, twice. Until it opened.

“You do know that I could’ve picked the lock, right?” your voice made him spin around. It looked like he only now thought of that but he brushed it off, pretending that this was his plan & it worked out the way he wanted to. The room appeared rather normal. Nothing that caught your eye, nothing that was out of place. An office like you had seen multiple times. The computer was turned off so you changed that real quick, waiting for the screens to light up.

“Earlier today, it wasn’t protected by a password.” Sam furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yeah, dumbass. Because the computer was on already. Give me a second.” you opened various drawers to look for a sign as to what the password could possibly be. The others let you do your work, not daring to speak up to interrupt you. “There we go.” you found a small paper in between some notebooks. Not necessarily the safest place to keep secret things but you would not judge. The home screen showed up. Again, nothing special. Simply a picture of flowers. Weird for the guy who worked here but that was none of your concerns.

“And?” Steve broke the silence.

“There are some decrypted files…” you mumbled, sitting down on the office chair. This would take a bit longer, you assumed.

“Can you get access?” another question from Steve. At least the children were quiet for now.

“Of course I can.” you smiled triumphantly. “Give me a few minutes, though.” you were so focused on the screen, you did not see the others nodding. It was tough, you were not going to lie, but it was you who hacked into the system. You never failed with that.

“Huh.” you breathed out. Truthfully, you were overwhelmed with all the information you were receiving with one look only. Steve, Sam & Bucky each took a place behind you, staring at the screen curiously. “Guys? That’s…scary.” you chuckled uncomfortably.

“What is this?” Bucky mumbled quietly but since it was so silent in this room, everyone heard. This was way bigger than you initially thought. Once you made it back to your hotel, you needed to call Tony.

“(Y/N).” Steve shoved you away gently, taking the mouse in his hand to enlarge what caught his attention. You had to gulp at what you saw. What the hell were you doing on there? Steve’s muscles tensed, you could tell by one single look at him. It took a few deep breaths from your side until you started the process of transferring the information on your little flash drive. ”(Y/N).” Steve tried again, this time a bit louder.

“Yeah, I know.” you answered, ignoring your fast beating heart as much as it was possible. “I got everything, let’s head back.” it was clear that you wanted to leave this place behind & you were the first who made it out into the cool night air. Breathing worked easier out here.

“Hey, Tony.” by now, you were back in your hotel room, picking up your phone to call Tony once Steve went into the bathroom.

“(Y/N)! Successful?” he asked, already thinking that you finished this mission & started heading home.

“Not yet. Seems like this is bigger than we thought…” you trailed off at the end, not really wanting to explain what you found out.

“Bigger how? (Y/L/N), come on.” Tony urged & heard you sigh over the phone.

“It was at the back of the shop, that was correct. I hacked into the system & …it looks like it’s some sort of website where people can pay beforehand, assigning criminals for certain acts. It’s huge, Tony. Tons of people have an account & there are so many new assignments every minute…I’ll send you the data in a second, okay? We’ll check out the coordinates we found tomorrow. We think it could lead us to a very important member of this website. And maybe the guy from the shop has something to do with it, though I’m not sure which part he plays in all of that.” you left out a very significant detail & hoped he would not ask more questions.

“There’s something else.” he stated, knowing you better even though he could not read your body language like he usually did.

“That’s all. I promise we’ll finish this missi-“ your phone was taken from you but before you could complain about it, Steve continued the call with Tony.

“Someone instructed to eliminate (Y/N) because, & I quote, “She’s too pretty to be part of the Avengers”. That assignment was where we got the coordinates from. Means the guy from the shop probably manages all of that but he isn’t the one we’re looking for.” silence enveloped you two & you figured that Tony was talking on the other end. “Yeah, sure. That’s the top priority. We’ll work on that & you start looking into the website.” Steve ended the call & threw your phone on the mattress next to where you were sitting.

“What the hell, Steve?” you were furious because he acted differently. And not in a good way. The only response from him was a cold look. He then moved out to the balcony that was attached to your suite. It was unusual for him to be so distanced, especially when it came to you. And you were hesitant to follow him. Considering his body language, he was mad at you. Why? You had no idea. Did you do anything to piss him off? Your gaze fell to your hands in your lap. The diamond on your ring finger sparkled beautifully. You recalled how it felt to be next to Steve, in that small pastry shop where you ate pie after pie to pick the perfect one for your wedding. This was something that could never be. It was all pretending but why did it feel so real to you? Steve probably was not struggling as much as you were & you hated yourself for it.

A hand on his shoulder startled him. Steve eased when he found you standing next to him. The sun would begin rising soon but the both of you were not tired at all. Though the reasons were different. Steve’s mind was still occupied with the information that there was someone out there who paid an awful lot of money to have you eliminated. You, on the other hand, struggled with keeping your feelings buried. Your hands held onto the railing. The movement made Steve look down where the engagement ring was still adorning your hand. You had not taken it off yet. In fact, he only realized that now, you even wore it during your mission of breaking into the shop. Sam & Bucky did not comment on it & to Steve, it was almost…normal. But you did say you would not keep it on you unless you were outside, pretending to be engaged to him.

“What did I do?” your voice interrupted his racing thoughts.

“What?” Steve was confused that you believed you did something wrong.

“Ever since we got outta that shop, you’ve been distant & cold. Was it something I did?” you kept looking straight forward, not wanting to hold eye contact because you feared the worst. That you managed to mess up somehow & Steve was angry at you.

“You didn’t do anything.” his body faced yours & you could practically feel his eyes on you. His intense stare made your breath hitch up.

“You sure about that?” finally, you turned around. Your bodies were almost touching, you underestimated the distance between you two.

“You act as if you don’t care.” his statement had you furrow your eyebrows. He rolled his eyes but continued anyway. “Someone paid a huge amount of money. To have you killed. And here you are, pretending that it doesn’t matter. It’s something you’re really good at, huh? Pretending.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” your voice raised slightly but you still wanted to keep it down, you were outside, everyone could hear your conversation.

“See? You’re doing it again.” Steve called you out. “We found that piece of information by accident.”

“I’m aware.” you arms went to hug yourself. A distraction that barely did its job.

“So your life means nothing to you.” his words were harsh. And if you were honest, they hurt. A lot.

“I never said that.” you hated how your voice wavered. How you could not appear to be the strong woman right now.

“You act like it, though.” with each word he said, your heart broke a little more. If only he knew. “I understand. This whole pretending thing is something you’re good at. This mission showed that much. But this is real, (Y/N). So, for a second, stop pretending & act like you care!”

“STOP!” you yelled out of breath. Instinctively, Steve took a step back, eyes wide by your sudden outburst. “Just stop.” this time, you spoke it much softer. Your gaze flickered to the ground, head hanging low.

“I’m sorr-“ Steve was interrupted.

“I said stop.” you repeated. “Steve, we’re on a mission. We’re supposed to put a stop to this shit. None of this has anything to do with me pretending to be your fiancée or me pretending that I don’t give a damn about my life.”

“Are you sure about that?” he emphasized. One hand went to the diamond on your finger & slipped it off. You made a fist around it, though it was not with a lot of pressure. You did not intend to damage the ring.

“I might be good at pretending but I’m no professional.” you admitted. Steve grew more & more confused. He did not know you were talking about the fact that you were not pretending to be engaged to him. To you, it felt natural, it felt good. Right now, though, you did pretend that none of this faced you. But Steve could not tell the difference.

“Can I be honest with you?” he waited until your eyes met his.

“Go ahead.” you waved your hand for him to continue.

“I was cold towards you because once we found out about that, you didn’t say anything about it. And I can’t believe that you just don’t care about it. About your life. I can’t. You don’t have to pretend when you’re with me, you know that. We’re not engaged right now. No undercover mission. You & me. So please be honest with me.” he took your hands into his & you did not flinch back. The touch grounded you but it was no lie that you were having a hard time to be completely honest with him.

“Why do you care so much?” maybe not the smartest thing to ask. Steve’s reaction was proof enough. He let go of your hands, turned his back towards you & let out a breathless laugh. His hands raised to his hair, messing it up in the slightest. Seconds ticked by but it felt like hours until he spun around once more.

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!” it seemed like that confession made the both of you stop dead in your tracks. It was not the first time Steve said those words but his tone differed from the previous ones. Still, chances were high he addressed your friendship with that. Because you were friends. Simple friends. “Say something.” he grew desperate when you did not reply.

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say. That I love you, too? You know that, Steve.” your words were steady, calculated. It was too soon to get your hopes up.

“How far do I have to go for you to realize that I want you?” he approached you, hesitancy in his steps. “Didn’t it feel natural to you when we acted like a couple? Because, I can’t keep that up anymore, I can’t. Tell me you don’t feel the same & I’ll back off. We can forget this right now, we don’t have to talk about it anymore. But if you-“ his speech was cute but you had to be close to him now that he finally confessed that there was more between you two. You cupped his cheeks & pulled him in to kiss him. Steve was shocked at first but it did not take him too long until his hands rested on your waist, tightening his grip on you. After parting, Steve kept his forehead against yours. Both of you had your eyes closed, breathing the same air. You imagined this exact moment more than once. But never before had it played out like that. Not that you were complaining, your feelings were finally out there.

“You were wrong, you know?” as much as you enjoyed the silence, there was still something you wanted him to know.

“Wrong about what?” he opened his eyes to look at every feature of you. Because it was no longer forbidden, he was allowed to do that now.

“I didn’t pretend while we were in the shop pie tasting.” you admitted, a small smile playing at the corner of your lips. “I faked pretending, if that makes sense…But, after I saw the bounty on my head, I started pretending.” he nodded at you, squeezing your waist once to encourage you to keep talking. “Steve? I’m scared.”

“It’s okay.” Steve’s arms went around your shoulders, pulling you close once again. His chin on your head. If only that could dispose of all of your worries. The only thing he could do was letting you hold onto him.

Steve did not sleep on the couch that night. Not because he did not want to but because you insisted to have him close. It was not the first time you two shared a bed. Sometimes, when missions did not allow you anything else, you ended up next to each other. Tonight felt different, better. Because there was no longer a weight on your heart. Were you two in a relationship already? Maybe you had been for some time but the two of you were too oblivious to notice. There was enough time to label whatever this was as soon as this mission was over. Your focus should solely be on this mission. Tons of lives depended on it. Yours included.

“You’re stubborn. Do you know that?” the next morning came sooner than you would have liked. No time for cuddling in bed, no time for breakfast. Two hours of sleep was all you got. But you had never felt this rested in your entire life. The reason was a certain super soldier. Not that you would ever admit that.

“Would I have chickened out if I didn’t know they were after me? No. I can handle myself.” Steve suggested for you to stay behind because they were looking for you. It could bring on unnecessary danger & he obviously needed you to be safe.

“But we know now.” Steve tried reasoning but it was useless, you already made your decision.

“Right. So it’s time to put a stop to it. Come on, Sam & Bucky are waiting for us.” you were out of the door before Steve found enough time to argue with you.

The drive to the coordinates was tense. Not even the kids in the back were joking around. Possibly because this mission turned into something way more hazardous. The situation between Steve & you was the same. Hence why nobody commented on it. After all, you pretty much confessed before there was an actual confession. Therefore, it was the same old. The only difference was your gut feeling that did not give you a hard time anymore. That was not entirely true. You had a bad gut feeling but for another reason.

“That’s the house?” you gestured to the building after the car came to a stop.

“This is it.” Steve confirmed.

“I don’t know why I expected some sort of villa.” Bucky commented while glancing out of the window.

“Maybe that would be too obvious. I mean, we do know that they receive the money beforehand, right? And I’m sure that the order to eliminate me wasn’t his first one.” you spotted Steve tensing up when you talked about that assignment. Your hand squeezed his shoulder & you hoped that your smile was convincing enough. You were alright & you would be after this mission. With Steve, Sam & Bucky on your side, you had nothing to fear. If push came to shove, they would go out of their ways to keep you safe.

“Steve?” Sam spoke up. “You know we need him alive, right?”

“Of course.” Steve nodded though his mind was contemplating going further than that. Unfortunately, you still had to figure out who was the one to assign this to the criminal. Tony was onto that, checking if there was more to find out about that anonymous account who paid the money. “A few punches won’t kill him.”

It was the break of dawn & the neighborhood was completely empty. The silence inside the car was interrupted by Steve’s sign to make a move. All of you stayed close together, you were not about to make the same mistake people did in horror movies. Besides, you felt safer with them around. A noise made you spin around. It was coming from down the hallway. Steve took the lead, you right behind him. Sam & Bucky trailing behind after you. A gun was clutched in your hand but you were not intending to use it today. Hopefully there was no need to. Steve shot you a look over his shoulder, silently telling you to be prepared. When he pushed the door open with his body weight this time, you did not tease him about it like you did when you broke into the back of the pastry shop the other night. The sight you were met with was…unexpected. There was a man sitting behind his computer. The room smelled like drugs. A mixture of multiple things you could not identify & did not even want to.

“Woah, you’re the Avengers.” he slurred his words. So he was drunk as well. “Hey, I’m supposed to kill you.” he pointed at your figure & instinctively, Steve stepped in front of you. Shielding your body with his.

“You sure that’s our guy?” Sam leaned closer to you & whispered. Your shoulders shrugged & you pointed over to the desk where a name tag was proudly displayed. Seemed like he was not the smartest guy if he used the same name for his account on that website. Your heartrate slowed down because you knew you were not in danger. Not right now. Steve approached the man, coming to a halt mere inches away from him. His hand balled into a fist & after one punch in the guy’s face, he was on the floor, unconscious.

“Huh.” you breathed out. “That was almost too easy.”

“Yeah, if we forget about the website where thousands of people assign offenders every single day.” Bucky was right, of course. You stumbled across something way bigger. Hopefully Tony had good news once you returned.

The police was called. They inspected the room & that guy really was everything but intelligent. He horded a file full of his assignments. He would not see the sunlight again, that much was sure. Steve & you waited outside, leaning on the hood of the car. Sam & Bucky were busy talking to the officers.

“Hey.” you started & nudged Steve with your elbow. “Is it appropriate to thank that asshole?”

“What for? For wanting to kill you?” he answered with furrowed eyebrows.

“No.” you chuckled. “But…if it were not for him, we wouldn’t have confessed.”

“There was a possibility that he was dangerous. Maybe we just caught him at a bad time.” Steve mumbled the last part.

“Let’s not worry about that, alright? I’m fine. See?” you gestured to your body, a big smile adorning your features.

“I know.” he nodded but it was obvious that he was still careful about this entire situation.

“I love you.” that seemed to do the job. His eyes met yours, his expression less tense & softer.

“I know that, too.” he smirked when you playfully slapped his chest.

“Steve, you ruined a very roman-“ his lips were on yours before you could finish your complaint. Steve was aware what he was doing, because he smiled into the kiss which caused you to giggle.

“I love you, too.” his lips still ghosted over yours. You could feel as his words left them. “Romantic enough?”

“I’m sure you can do better.” you pulled away & winked at him, moving away to join Sam & Bucky. Steve’s eyes followed your body & he shook his head at you. Yes, he did love you. A lot. And he was already planning how to make his next move even more romantic.

Published (05/18/2021) by Cathy

✨MY Ko-fi PAGE✨

Tags: @zestyemby, @captainxholmes, @met4no1a, @bibliophilewednesday, @weareironmanbitches, @n3ssm0nique, @2bornot2b, @iaalien, @bibliophilewednesday (thanks for your support <3)

[awanderingtortoise]

a/n: first of all, i would like to thank my genius brain for answering the ask this stemmed from privately, therefore losing all access to it and anything i typed in reply. i would also like to thank google docs for housing the backup copy of this fic, ensuring my panic lasted only half the time it could have. finally (and the only serious thing here) ty to @nabrizoya for giving this idea during my 'i cant write banter only dad jokes help' panic, i loved it and wrote far more on it than i expected.

laughter in the rain

ao3

word count: 2.1k of pure fluff and crack

blurb: in which Nikolai is much too found of puns while Zoya is the polar opposite, and a young, incredibly chaotic Squaller child wreaks absolute havoc on literally everything.

(from tumblr ask: how about nikolai interacting with zoya's students and them finding nikolai's dad jokes funnier than zoya does (though she does secretly enjoy them)

----

Zoya knew she was in for it when she agreed to teach Damyen to summon lightning. Possible consequences listed themselves in her head without regard for her anxiety: Getting half her hair burned off. An emergency fire drill, minus the drill, at the Little Palace. Possibly a few roasted pigeons falling from the sky. The ten-year old Squaller was undeniably one of her most gifted students, possessing a striking talent for both the Small Science and utter chaos. Unsurprising, really, considering the child both worshiped Nikolai and had a disposition remarkably close to the latter’s. Zoya’s rant on the young Grisha amused him to no end.

“A miniature me,” Nikolai mused, glancing thoughtfully at Zoya as he sat on the edge of their bed. “And shaping up to be quite the handful.”

“You have no idea,” she grumbled, brushing out a stubborn tangle in her hair, eyes still bleary from her slumber or lack thereof. She’d slept terribly and dreamt her kefta had been on fire. Though she was never much for fortune-tellers or prophetic hogwash, she had an inkling this particular dream would soon be reality. “You could be brothers with how much you have in common. Insubordinate. Endless chatter. Utterly chaotic.”

“Handsome?” Nikolai suggested, inspecting his boots before putting them on. “Charismatic and startlingly intelligent? Really, my dear; you don’t have to be quite so negative.”

“I’m likely about to be set on fire. I have every right to be negative.”

“Now, now,” He said soothingly. “I’m sure it will be a very- enlightening experience.”

Zoya froze mid-brush stroke, turning to give him a withering glare. “Nikolai,” she hissed.

He grinned. “Yes?”

“We have talked about this.”

“Have we?”

“No more puns,” Zoya ordered. For every joke Nikolai in his love for infuriating humor could crack, these were the worst. The only people in the palace that found them amusing were Tolya and Nikolai himself. Which meant, of course, that Tolya was the only one Nikolai didn’t subject to this banal torture.

“Why?” Nikolai whined. “I find them rather electrifying, don’t you?”

She slammed her brush onto the table and stalked towards him, seizing his wrist. “I will blow you out the window. I will tie you to a tree and let Damyen use you for target practice.”

“From the sound of him, he wouldn’t dare. He loves me.”

“He’s also remarkably similar to you and has every ounce of your taste for drama. He might, and if he doesn’t you have my word that I will do it myself.” Zoya let her eyes flash silver, static crackling in the air.

“Alright,” Nikolai sighed, unperturbed by the display. “Fine. I concede. It’s but a trifle. A storm in a teacup, if you w- ow !”

She had sent a small shock through his arm, and now scoffed at the reaction to her handiwork. “Consider this a warning,” she sniffed, before turning to leave the room. “I have a Squaller to teach.”

“Storming off, are we- ow- ”

Only once the door was safely slammed behind her did she let her frown shift, lips quirking upwards. “Damnable idiot,” she muttered, smile clear in her voice.

“You love me for it,” Nikolai called from inside the room.

Zoya scowled. She’d need to have the walls thickened.

-----------------------

To Zoya’s right, a flock of very terrified and slightly singed geese squawked and took to the skies. Their nest lay in a steaming pile of ash. She raised a single eyebrow at her pupil. “Damyen, this is-”

“Awesome!” He cackled, gathering the ash in his hands and tossing it in the air like confetti. The flakes drifted down, settling in Zoya’s hair and eyelashes.

“I was going to say dismal. I do not recall asking you to set birds on fire. Your aim is terrible.”

“But I shot lighting!” He stared at his fingertips with such utter reverence for himself that Zoya didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“If you want to shoot lighting without setting your friends alight, I’d suggest you learn to hit your mark,” She said as sternly as possible. He’d picked up on the skill remarkably quickly, in all honesty, and the currents he summoned were more than good for a start. She was impressed, but her approval would only be gained with sufficient effort. And after more than a few sharp comments. “You aim worse than a blind mole rat. Again.”

Damyen sighed but brought his hands together once more, brow knitting in concentration as lightning began to form in his palm. Strands of his bronze hair fell onto his face and he squinted through them at the target. Adjusted his hands. Squinted again.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Zoya muttered. “Perhaps you’re waiting for the Saints to come riding down on a shiny chariot?”

He snorted, apparently genuinely amused, then let the bolt fly. At the same moment, a golden-haired figure strolled into the lightning’s path.

Zoya shrieked, hurtling a gust of wind towards Nikolai and blowing him to the ground. The streak of electricity slammed perfectly into the target’s center, setting the whole thing aflame.  Damyen whooped, throwing up his hands and sending wind blowing every which way; scattering leaves into the air as Nikolai groaned and swore from his spot in the grass.

“Hello,” He said weakly. “Atmosphere’s rather charged around here, don’t you think?”

She huffed and pulled him to his feet, glaring daggers.

“No shocks,” Nikolai noted.

“I may change my mind. Care to explain yourself, Lantsov? In the habit of trying to kill yourself?”

“I hardly need to try. I’m a magnet for life threatening situations. Though I’ll admit that today it was a personal decision.” He beamed, spreading his hands. “I simply wanted to help you make good on your threat.”

Zoya rolled her eyes. “Why are you here? Has something come up with the Fjerdans? Did the Kerch renegotiate the trade-”

“Zoya, Zoya, Zoya,” Nikolai sighed, tucking a wayward lock of hair behind her ear. “You worry too much.”

“I worry exactly the right amount for this fickle country. Answer the question, or I truly will have him target you.”

“Is it so hard to believe I came here only to see you?”

“Yes.”

“You wound me. But if you must know, I thought I could be of some assistance.”

“As target practice?”

He wrinkled his nose. “I’ve had quite enough of that. As a mentor. As a bribe, perhaps; for your little firecracker over there.” He glanced at Damyen, still stripping trees of their hard-earned leaves and seemingly unaware that he’d nearly killed his beloved idol.  “You seemed like you could use some help.”

She raised her chin disdainfully. “I am perfectly capable of wrangling the little-”

A loud crack sounded and the sky darkened rapidly, clouds swarming over their heads as rain began to pour furiously in a matter of seconds. A few meters away, a bright flash enveloped a tree, sending the trunk bursting into flames.

“Damyen!” Zoya screeched.

The boy stared at her, wide-eyed and grinning in a mix of elation and fear. “I made a storm, Your Highness!”

“Congratulations. Now do you mind stopping before you kill us all?”

“But I-” His eyes found Nikolai and realization set in as he beamed and the rain poured even harder. “Your Highness- es !”

Another boom, and a second, larger tree was wreathed in electricity and fire. It groaned, wobbling dangerously before crashing to the ground.

Nikolai’s brow furrowed, squinting against the pouring rain. “That,” he started. “Was a centuries-old sacred cypress planted by the first Lantsov kings. Now firewood. Impressive.”

Damyen’s chest puffed with pride.

“You can fawn over each other later,” Zoya snapped. “Damyen, enough with the storm. Turn it off before you start a forest fire.”

He grinned sheepishly. “How?”

She muttered obscenities, raising her hands and dispelling the clouds with a flick of her wrists. The sky cleared, small patches of pouring rain left to quell the still-burning trees as Nikolai whistled appreciatively, clapping; and Damyen gave a small bow. Saints, these two would be the death of her.

“So,” Nikolai said, soft enough that Damyen couldn’t hear. “Changed your mind?”

She sighed. “Fine. Make your attempt. You’ve always loved trying your hand at the impossible.”

“Improbable,” he corrected, then strolled over to Damyen, running a hand through the golden strands plastered to his forehead. Soaking wet and almost cooked alive, and he still looked every bit the regal prince; she thought, a grudging, now-familiar fondness rushing through her like a horrible, tooth-rotting sweet. She scowled.

“Lovely morning,” The prince greeted. Damyen bent over in a hasty bow, but Nikolai waved his hand. “No need. Are you the wonderfully gifted Squaller her Highness speaks of so highly?”

Zoya snorted, but Damyen’s eyes practically doubled in size. “She does?”

“Oh, yes,” Nikolai said seriously. “You’re quite talented, I hear.” He lowered his voice to a theatrical whisper. “Just between the two of us,” muttered Nikolai, very much loud enough for Zoya to be able to hear. “I think you remind her of herself, when she was your age.”

She opened her mouth; ‘What utter bullshit,’ already on the tip of her tongue but Nikolai raised a gloved finger, eyes twinkling. With much effort, she clamped her mouth shut.

Damyen seemed he might faint on the spot. Nikolai went on. “Really, there’s quite a lot you two have in common. Powerful. Willful. In possession of a rather strong attachment to me.”

The young Grisha was eating up his words. Zoya wanted to strangle the both of them.

Nikolai took a seat on a faintly smoking tree stump. “You seem to have quite a lot going on for you, learning to summon lighting and all. A rather current affair, don’t you think?”

The silence seemed to stretch on infinitely. Then Damyen gave a toothy grin and guffawed far, far louder than that sorry excuse for a joke deserved.

“Oh for Saints’ sake, Nikolai,” she groaned, shoving her face into her hands.

“Zoya, dear; no need to thunder about like that,” Nikolai said soothingly. Damyen bit his cheek in an attempt to control himself, but whatever smidgen of respect he had left for her kept him silent for barely a second before he burst into a fit of giggles.

Zoya threw her arms up in frustration and from the clouds a deep, deafening roar answered her-- how’s that for thundering, you nincompoop-- as the sky flashed once more, bright streaks lacing every cloud in an intricate web. Damyen’s gleeful expression faltered at the sight but Nikolai only grinned wider, patting Damyen on the shoulder before standing and holding a hand out to catch the rain.

“Don’t let her dampen your spirits,” he called sagely over the rumble, and it took a good amount of self control not to smite him on the spot.  Nikolai flashed a thumbs-up at the boy before jogging over to the spot where Zoya stood, arms crossed and glaring. He clasped her hand in his, opening his mouth to speak.

“Not one word,” she warned. “Not a single pun or I will have Tolya read you every Ravkan epic in existence while dangling you off the palace roof.”

“No puns,” he promised. “For now. I only ask that perhaps you let the sun shine through-”

“I will not sugarcoat my instructions for whatever reason.”

“The storm, my dear,” he said gently. “Not your teaching methods. We’re nearly soaked through.”

She glanced towards his dripping sleeves and the damp fabric of her own kefta. “Fine,” Zoya muttered grudgingly, raising her free hand to call away the storm and let the clouds fade to fog. “But enough of this foolery. I can’t have Damyen running around being able to summon lightning and having no idea how to wrangle it. He has to learn.”

“And he will. Let me work my magic and I’ll have him perfectly eager to learn to control his.”

“Without the puns.”

“With slightly less puns?” He asked, brow knit together as if the fate of his jokes were a matter of life and death.

Zoya frowned, but Nikolai’s pleading look wore away at her and she sighed. “Slightly less puns.”

His eyes lit up and he beamed, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. “You won’t regret this,” he promised.

“Oh, I will,” she remarked drily. “But perhaps not enough to shock you again if you can manage the walking fire hazard.”

“As you wish, Your Highness.” He bowed theatrically before turning and running back to Damyen with a ridiculous grin on his face, sunlight gilding his hair and shining in his gaze; his form so full of light that she couldn’t help but smile.

“Nikolai,” she called after him.

He turned, cocking his head. “Nazyalensky? Is everything alright?”

Zoya closed her eyes, sighing deeply. She opened her palm, summoning the smallest thundercloud, letting raindrops pool in her outstretched hand. “Right as rain, Lantsov.”

He laughed, and the sound, golden and unrestrained and bright, was worth every joke she’d ever have to endure.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Breeding A Human Chapter Two

Masterlist

Its a few weeks since Kal has claimed you and ...He might be more unstable then you first thought. But your learning to navigate him but your question now is what does it mean to be mated by a kryptonian? And better yet can you reverse it? 

Warnings: Adult Situations 18+,Swearing ,Manipulative Behavior,Yandere,Non Con WHEN I SAY NON CON I MEAN NON CON DON'T LIKE IT DON'T FUCKING READ IT STOP READING SHIT YOU DON'T LIKE!!, Breeding Kink, Mentions of Forced Pregnancy, Angst, Spanking, Threatening Behavior,  Threats of Violence

A/N: So found this hard to write....well I couldn't write it in one go had to take a few breathers whether that’s good of bad I'm not sure, was a bit of a bugger to keep the mad yandere theme going but I hope I succeeded xx

Taglist: @thatdamncutegirl @sofiebstar​ @iloveyouyen​ @thefangirlsblog​ @lux-ravenwolf​ @thatgirly81​

You sat down on the floor in the living room against the wall hidden, things are...Hard. Your neighbor who spotted you and Kal the other week had told your other neighbors and friends who told their friends who told their friends and on and on. There had been small snippets in the news and media about superman possibly having a lover but everything was still rumor and speculation...Well it was until yesterday someone must have got access to the police report of the incident at the house. Because yesterday your face was plastered all over the papers and this morning you awoke to reporters pounding on your door at seven am each hounding you for the scoop wanting an interview with 'Supermans woman'. You wasn't sure why but it seemed Kal had all but abandoned you to deal with it, probably wanting to see if youd say something to them; tell them the truth it was a test. You wont, you cant the retribution and backlash wouldn't be worth it, you didn't want to imagine Kals reaction...He would flip his shit....Again your not sure you would survive superman's displeasure again as his 'mate' your corrections were of a very specific nature.

So here you were alone hiding in your own home with your wooden blinds shut tight trying to ignore the crowd of people outside snapping photos of your home and calling for you to come out and chat. The papers yesterday had all plastered a photo taken of you both when he saved you from the water all those months ago. The headlines all along the same lines of 'confimred Superman's human lover. The secret love affair' and 'Love at first sight? Superman's girlfriend finally revealed!' And your personal favorite just from the sheer cheesyness 'The star crossed lovers! Krypton and Earth collide!' There was many other shitty headlines they must have just found out it was true after digging around.

Each knew who you were and where you lived, some of them had interveiws from 'witnesses' from the day he pulled you from the water 'He wouldn't let her go not even to the paramedic's. You could tell he was shaken up it must have been terrible for him to see her in the water like that!...You could tell there was something there between them, I have no doubt they were a couple already! They were even bickering!. He even protected her from being arrested for jumping in after the little girl! No one could get near her...He was probably in shock he just held her close ~It was so romantic seeing him protect her like that you could tell it was true love~' you scoffed bullshit! If only they knew what followed. Some even questioned if you were fucking secretly married!

You sat wiping your eyes crying softly, your life had gone to shit in a few short months and you was at rock bottom. Trapped in your own home by a media frenzy who wanted the story ...What could you tell them? the truth? 'superman stalked me, isolated me and manipulated me into thinking I was borderline schizophrenic convincing me I had ptsd and was going mad then raped me when I found out he was a fucking nut job and when the police showed up I was to scared to say anything because he was upstairs'

Somehow you didn't think they would buy that, they wanted a fairy tale! not the truth and if you did tell the truth you'd get a shit tonne of hate. And Kal? Well you didn't want to risk angering him again. He threw fits at you, bouts of anger that always terrified you and each time you were reminded. He was not human. Nowhere near it! He nearly perforated your ear drums from shouting at you last week you couldn't afford to anger him. So instead you opted to remain silent.

In the days since his rape mating Kal had stuck around he was here each night he didn't leave anymore either...Well not properly, he still flew off into the night to maintain order in the city and save people from disasters around the world but he didn't leave to go home a night. He did however leave in the morning and he was out all day like clock work almost like he had a job. Each day would start with him in your bed sometimes just watching you other times you awoke to him slipping between your thighs using your body to satisfy himself, you tried not to resist it was hopeless he would do what he wanted.

He claimed you were his mate and as his mate you had a duty to please him, he said to think of yourself as his wife and he had very traditional views on how his home life should be, bare foot in the kitchen sprang to mind. Preferably pregnant to, he was obsessed with wanting you to become pregnant and you do mean obsessed. After fucking you full to the point of pain he spent hours just watching your stomach, following his release with his all seeing gaze as it traveled into your womb willing it to hit its mark. He is adamant that he wants to see the exact moment that you conceive, the creation of his child! And you can never forget what he is doing either. He holds you in an elevated position trying to get the best chance all the while rubbing your stomach and ribs giving you a monologue of what his cum is doing, where it is how close he is to fertilizing you. It made you feel sick but what could you do? Fight him?

He was very pleased with himself always claiming that this was right, it was how nature intended and that it was just taking you longer to feel the bond you had because you was human. Kal was sure once you became pregnant  that tiny ounce of kryptonian blood in your child would kick start your own mateing bond for now you had to trust him. So obsessed and desperate to have you 'bred' he helped himself to you as and when he saw fit, his 'love making' literally lasted hours he called it many things 'sex, fucking, lovemaking' but it was rape however you refrained from calling it that now he got all angry glowy eyes which was...Not fun especially when the molten eyes were inches from yours as he held you down and 'corrected' you with his cock, splitting you open mercilessly and unprepared trying to breed you like a bitch in heat. And true to his word he had kept you quiet not from holding back oh god no. He now had a solution if you began to struggle or get to 'fiesty' he would simply place fingers in your mouth and pin down your tongue as a painful reprimand to 'bring you back in line' and it usually did in a few short moments to frightened to struggle much longer in fear of him snapping your jaw.

You had tried to run a few days after your first time, hoping that you could at least get a one way plane ticket you doubted he would rip open the plane and risk everyone just to get to you, he seemed to need his golden boy image to cover his tracks. Unfortunately as you tried making your escape your neighbor was in the garden biting at the bit to talk to you wanting to know the ins and outs. You had real trouble trying to get out of the conversation she was a determined gossip.

"So you wrangled yourself a hero?! Wow tell me whats he really like? Where did you two meet? Was it the bridge? I bet it was the bridge! That’s so romantic! Him saving your life and falling in love, it sounds like a real life fairy tale! I'm almost jealous" You had shivered if only she knew, you wanted to just ignore her and run off but you'd already stopped and turned to her you cursed yourself for it when you looked to her. Mrs Ellis AKA the local rumor mill, well known for getting into everyone else's business, she was kind enough but two faced and nosy. She was married and in her early forties with one adult son who was just as bad as his mother. You plastered on a shy smile just give her a few tit bits to mull over and you'd be out of here!

"No it....I'm not sure how it happened he just managed to make himself apart on my life...I didn't have much say to be honest" she had giggled and covered her red cheeks fanning her self.

"I bet! I'm sure no one can stop that man when he is determined! We heard it infact~" you blushed and looked away scanning the sky apprehensively you really didn't want to be caught out of the house by him, he wont like it as his mate you were supposed to rely on him for everything therefore had no reason to leave. Seeing the conversation start to halt before she got what she wanted she smiled again continuing.

"We were all worried around here for a few weeks... We thought you were going off the deep end can you believe that? None of us suspected your strange behavior was just because you had yourself a new man...It was because you were with him wasn't it?" and there we go the snooping disguised as friendly chat. You looked around quickly okay you had enough you needed to leave.

"I...Yes yes it was...Mrs Ellis I'm sorry to be rude but I'm kind of in a rush-" her face lit up"OH! are you sneaking out? let me guess going to cook your man a slap up romantic meal?! you know I did the same to Earl when we first got together! Oh to be oung again~ just remember good food is the way into a mans heart~" you smiled at her and moved your hands in a shrugging gesture.

"You've caught me Mrs Ellis! He has no idea what I have planned...So if he comes over could you try and stall him ...Stop him from coming looking for me? just say I've popped out...."

"Huh? why would he be looking for- Would he be worried about you?!~ oh that is so sweet! your so lucky to have him fawn over you, Must feel so nice having him all macho and protective~. That being said I can understand why you've been so skittish. I'd be skittish to if I was dating a man like that." You frowned at her confused man like that? Did she know? would she believe you if you told her?

"A...A man like what?" She gasped placing a hand to yours thinking she had offended you.

"Oh no! Oh honey I didn't...I didn't mean nothing by it! I'm not one of those 'alien go home' lackey's I merely meant him being a hero..He's bound to have enemies so I would have been careful to and I'm sure you both didn't want the media knowing but they will find out soon honey...Sorry I'm getting this all wrong...All I'm trying to say is I'm happy for you! Right well I won't keep you, you go get your man his dinner! But if you ever need anything or just to talk pop round and we can have a chit chat- even bring him I'm sure he and Earl would get along as us women have a chat!" you thanked her and made your way half way down the lawn with promises of talking to him about it...But no you had absolutely no intentions of going round there...or staying here for that matter?If all went well youd be out of the country by tonight!.

It was when you got nearly three houses down the road your heart stopped ,there it was the boom of him reentering the atmosphere above. You turned looking at him he was hovering staring at the house, looking for you from here you could tell he was becoming aggravated. You got another two steps then your neighbor gave you away gasping and giggling at you then shouted across the open lawns.

"Oh y/n I think you have a visitor~ should I get my ear plugs ready?~" You closed your eyes feeling Kal’s gaze snap to you ignoring her comment you moved your hand clutching your bag tighter, he would know and you were going to be in for it! The street seemed to get quiet, the people that had been out doing yard work now staring as he barrelled down towards you stopping a few feet above you then lowered down to the ground smiling eerily at you.

"Mate? I thought you were staying in today...You know I'm not keen on you going out without me knowing..." he was quick to wrap himself around you ushering you back towards the house glanced over you and frowned slightly seeing your larger bag.

"Just where do you thing your off to...with your passport?" You could hear the growl creep in to his voice.

"Just in to town...Want some wine is all and sometimes they say my license is fake so I take my passport to...I didn't think you'd be home till tonight" Mrs Ellis laughed shaking her head at you.

"Oh dear why not tell him, even with all this feminism there is nothing wrong with wanting to feed your man!" Kal turned his head to the woman putting on a charming smile, his eyes lit up happily and he turned back to you.

"Cook? You were going to cook for me? Oh mate that’s- thank you love that very thoughtful" you shook your head seeing he was taking the white lie to heart, he must think you were going to start complying with this fucked up 1950s house wife shit show. Mrs Ellis laughed and waved a hand

"Oh dear stop being so fussy!" She turned to Kal rolling her eyes

"Of course she doesn't want to admit it! but she just told me she was off to get groceries she wanted to cook for you...I swear these younger women and their distaste for traditional house wives, seriously raising a family is just as important as any career!" he moved towards you winding an arm around your waist tugging you to his side

"I couldn't agree more~ Family is everything" he spun you around placing a kiss to your cheek in front of the older woman making her coo, he was curling around you putting on a show, making the display look ...Romantic pulling you to him tucking you under his arm. His laugh was all the warning you got before he spoke loud enough for the other neighbors on the near by lawns to hear.

"Really love? Well I thank you, truly I love the idea of you trying to take care of me! but you know I don't need you to do that my love~" he paused to give you a wicked smile self assured in his next little public claim over you

"No no ,I'd much prefer to come home to you ready to try again after all our child wont make itself" Your eyes widened he had practically fucking shouted it! Your neighbor gasped

"O-oh my y/n you failed to mention that you were trying for a baby!..That’s wonderful! you know you'd make an excellent Mother" He stopped and through her a shinning smile

"So we are going to go public love? I mean you were talking about me? And you are Mrs Ellis if I'm not mistaken?" He moved you across to the woman and held out a hand.

"Its very nice to meet you properly ma'am...I’m-" she flushed red and took his hand

"S-superman- I know who you are-" he smiled laughing moving to press a kiss to the top of your head.

"Oh please call me Kal...After all we are going to be neighbors isn't that right love?" You took a deep breath and nodded slowly unable to say anything he was cunning.

"N-neighbors your moving in?" He laughed and squeezed you to him.

"Absolutely! I practically have already...Well I'm afraid that we must be going as I said before our child wont make themselves...Well not on the lawn anyway~" he winked as the older woman blushed fanning herself

"Oh my~ ah and don’t worry about any visitors haha we wont call anyone..If you get my meaning just have fun deary~" he smiled again Thanking her before ushering you into the house slamming the door with finality you knew that Mrs Ellis was already inside on her phone to her friends.

Once inside he quickly grabbed your chin squeezing pinning you back against the wall seething.

"You try to leave this house-Leave me again and I'll melt all the fucking locks and hinges on every door and window~" you whimpered as he moved fishing out your passport and burned hole through it to make a point, you wasn't leaving.Ever. Well...there was one way out.

You can honestly say that was the first time it had truly sunk in. The first time you had considered other more permanent options. It was just a fleeting thought...Until it wasn’t and you sat back really considering it a few days later. The question was could you do it? Could death be an escape from all this madness? From his madness? You shook your head.No. No no you can’t think like that yet...There must be a way! And escape but who the fuck could save you from Superman? Who was it you needed to call? You'd given up for the time being you needed a plan but ass the days became weeks you were loosing hope fast. If you were gonna do it, it had to be sooner rather then later you doubted even you'd be able to do it if you did fall pregnant. Because god help you if you failed and only killed the child...

You yelped as another loud knock was at your door calling out for you to just answer a few questions. You tucked into a tighter ball whining wanting them to all go away. Suddenly there it was, the sound that made your stomach go cold, Kal had come back you heard the people outside calling out to him in a mad rush, but they sounded less threatening less pushy. You felt him looking at you huddled up in the corner peeking through the walls of the house.

Kal moved slowly down to the ground landing softly in the front yard he turned seeing you there cowering in the living room. He growled at your distress and snapped his head to the reporters a frown on his face. He wanted to burn them for upsetting his mate but instead settled for sweeping them with a fierce look. They each instantly calmed that was then he spoke evenly giving them a sharp look. They disregarded his stern gaze and all bombarded him with questions he knew they wont leave until they had something

"I'd ask that you leave my mate and I alone this...Human kryptonian mating bond has been difficult for us to navigate...And we are not ready to give statements yet..."  he hoped that admitting to a mating bond would give the reporters enough but sighed when it hadn't.

"Mating bond? Like soulmates?" He looked to the reporter and gave a stiff nod

"Yes...As you can imagine with us being...Me being who and what I am it is difficult...And, I find myself driven on...Baser instincts when it comes to her. My need to protect her is....Very hard to control at this time and you have terrified her! She is cowering in her own home so for your own safety I'd ask you to leave" The reporters fell silent when he growled out his last words all thinking the same thing. Did he just threaten them? Rightly or wrongly they didn't want to stay and find out He stood tall arms crossed giving the large group a fierce stern glare ,they each nodded and began to back away all muttering apologies and agreeing to his requests.He turned to you again you felt him you were looking right at him shaking in fear, these animals have frightened you his poor sweet mate. You must have been terrified with them pounding on the door shouting at you all day.

But then again that's what he hoped for, he wants you to move willingly. That is why he decided against just stealing you away while you slept. Now that he was here with you the urge to fly of into the sunset with you had died down, he hopes that if you still want to leave this house you will ask him to take you away.

That way he could take you to his prepared home in Kansas a small ranch miles away from ...Well everything! It was perfect and if anything goes awol he shouldn't have to chase you down and correct you, oh no you'd come crawling back! It was nearly a twelve hour walk across flat crop fields of course he wouldn't have a vehicle on the property and if you did try to leave hoofing it for all that time it was flat ground surrounding the property one high fly and he'd have your location asap and have you home for a punishment.

Maintaining the place shouldn't be hard the crops he could do himself in seconds when the time came..Everyone always did call him a farm-boy and it was true he was a farm-boy at heart. There was electricity but no phone there's no internet either he would bring you books and films or supplies for any hobby you'd like and you could redecorate until your hearts content. But bottom line was you'd be safe not only that being so far from everyone meant your children would have space to practice there abilities unhindered. Soon. He whispered to himself very soon.

He smiled at you, trying to calm you even if you couldn't see it. He gave one final scowl to the crowd who whether it be instinct or primal fear of him,  they had listened and began leaving. He stayed outside the house guarding you as they slowly trickled away.Once they were all gone he moved up to the house knocking.

"Love....Love they are gone now, come on open up little mate....Mate stop I know your scared and upset but please I've dealt with it your safe now.....My heart?...I will break the door if you don't let me in...One...Two..Two and a half ...Three...Okay you asked for it-" you opened it with a quick scrabbling motion. He smiled quickly stepping over the threshold collecting you in his arms kicking the door shut. You trembled against him they had frightened you! He admonished. You wept into his chest, you had no choice he had smothered you. He held you tightly hushing and cooing at you whispering soft words of encouragement.

"My sweet little mate don't cry, shh I'm here now and I made them leave see?" You nodded at him still shaken you wanted to leave, you wanted out! of this house, the country this whole situation.

But there was no escape! he will not let you leave him, but maybe if you asked he would come to? let you at least move to an new house that didn't have so many bad memories, tho you were better in a sense you wasn't as paranoid or frantic you knew it was him and he didn't hide anymore he flaunted it as much as he could. He was now trapping you in a different sense creating an image of being a consenting loving couple just like the stupid papers said. You sobbed pressing your palms to his chest leaning back to look up at him.

"I-I can't stay here! Kal please...This house I just can't...Can I?...Can I go see that house?...The one in central city?-" he tensed squeezing your arms making you wince growling at you his eyes becoming a bright red for a second then dimmed back to his normal aqua.

"NO! NO YOU MAY NOT!" You cringed trembling he grit his teeth you looked down tears starting anew shaken to the core, this man, this alien terrified you he was obsessive and a fantasist, he was strong, far to strong just one misplaced squeeze of a finger and you were a goner. He took a breath and moved pinching your chin softly making you meet his gaze.

"I'm sorry love...Your not leaving me, I couldn't bare to lose you not now..Not ever" your heart dropped to your stomach at his words you knew that you couldn't escape him but you couldn't stay here either! you swallowed blinking and tried to reason with him, plead with him to grant even the smallest of mercies.

"Then...Then somewhere here! A house they don't know! Please please I can't stay here! They will be back! Please Kal I'm begging you, I'm scared Kal I don't want them to know where I live...Please?" he stayed silent looking down at you he supposed letting you look for somewhere in Metropolis wasn't a bad idea, you were already referring to him for permission. Trusting his judgment letting him take the lead as a good little female does, acknowledging him as your mate and higher up. He could just turn down all the options until you ask him to choose then he can finally bring you home willingly just as he planned.

"I will think about it...I may have just the place for us~...But that is for another day for now its time for us to try again...I still haven't bred you today and your ovulating again" you closed your eyes as he moved closer taking a deep breath smelling your neck then lower pressing the tip of his nose to the top of your breast.

"You smell-your scent is...UGH fuck its divine your skin it just releases it-its like a fucking drug!" You trembled looking down with little hope already knowing how this ends before its begun. He moved back a step and pressed a hand to your stomach, he still hadn't taken it was a shame but he would not let it faze him, he had a plan and he would continue filling you until you were carrying his child.

"Come love things will be better once your growing with my seed" you whimpered at the thought and shook our head.

"Kal I don't want I'm not ready-"

"Of course you are! I can fucking smell it your body is screaming out for me! Stop saying stupid things!" He snapped before you even finished your sentence, you looked down trying to hold back tears and shook you didn't want to do anything with him, yet refusing will only drag out the whole ordeal making it painful.

You knew that last few weeks had been a dream for him a fantasy of his own making. Being with you making sure you were 'safe' he was always happy sleeping in the same bed after rutting and filling your tight little cunt for what felt like hours. He had hoped that you'd be pregnant by now but never complained for long he enjoyed the intimacy, loved holding you down and painting your insides marking your womb as his territory in the most carnal and depraved ways.

He was a monster driven on pure feral instinct, he had explained it may be hard for you to fall pregnant due to the kryptonian's past that was his excuse to fucking you every which way filling you as many times as he could until your stomach was distended and swollen. He had explained in his lust fueld rants as he impaled you down onto his fat shaft that he wasn't sure why his kind had resorted to the artificial chambers to produce children. He did however assume it was because there was a problem with conceiving naturally. You'd once asked snidely if it was even possible for him to impregnate you it had been a bad day and you for some reason wanted to provoke him, make him as upset as you.

It did the trick he became enraged with the possibility but instead of pulling out from your bruised body and leaving in a mood like you'd hoped. He had done the opposite and had fucked you for nearly twenty four hours straight, the only break you had was to use the bathroom and that had driven him further into his frenzy claiming you were trying to dispose yourself of his cum. Trying to wash away his hard work! that you were refusing to fall pregnant as if by some magical way you had control of it! He had been brutal in his thrusts once you began to chafe he had kindly provided you with his own freezing cold saliva again making sure you felt thoroughly punished with each almost violent thrust.

You'd bled that night. He had been to rough and had torn you. 'Nothing you didn't deserve' at least that's what he had said. It was your fault apparently for resisting him and wriggling to much, you had laid there and cried sobbed your heart out for hours. It was hour later when he began to get worried as the bleeding slowed but did not stop he had held you tightly stroking your tummy. He shushed you before doing the most traumatic thing he'd ever done to you. Something you'd never forget or forgive him for putting you through. The tear was small but bled quite a bit and was in a tricky spot seemingly at the back of your opening each time you moved the bleeding picked up again so he had decided to cauterize to wound. You'd screamed and thrashed crying louder then before kicking out at him as he held your legs wide and 'healed' you. That was the first time you'd begged him to kill you. He brushed off your pleas just thinking that you had a low pain tolerance. But it wasn't, in that excruciating moment you wanted him to do it, to just hurry up and end you but he had laughed you off and gotten you an ice pack instead ordering you to lay splayed with your wound covered while he had a shower and left you in the bedroom alone.

That had been just over a week ago and was the last time he'd had you he was almost certain he had taken and wanted to let you recover but with his eyes he could see you had not been fertilized and was now once again determined to have you again despite the wound nearly completely healed you were terrified of going through that ordeal again.

He moved you both into the house away from the door moving you to the stairs. You twisted in his grasp trying to capture the banister as he made his way up the stairs he just sighed continuing forcing you to let got and screech at him.

"No Kal! Please KAL NO!" he clicked his tongue at you and began scolding you moving to tug you up the stairs by one large hand engulfing your bicep tugging harshly making you cry out as your hand slipped off the polished wooden post and you stumbled hitting your knees on the step before you and cried out again.

"F-FUCK AH NO! KAL NOT AGAIN PLEASE" you took a breath trying to make him see sense

"K-kal I-I'm not healed enough-" he just raised his arm pulling your back up he was stoic as he dragged you behind him warning and cooing at you all in one as he spoke.

"Love! what have I said about all that noise?..Now that's enough if they phone the police again you wont be answering the door in a sheet! Oh no ,I'll be answering it with you split open on my cock! And let everyone in the street see how good your cunt looks wrapped around it! now stop all this silliness you know that I will win in the end~" his voice was stern and exasperated like trying to talk sense in to a naughty child.

"K-kal I'm not refusing you please PLEASE JUST JUST LISTEN!...Your supposed to wait at least two weeks after you tear- even after birth its two to four weeks-pleas I don't want to, if we do and something goes wrong kal I might not be able to give birth properly later!" You panicked trying to convince him to say anything that would make him stop for a second. He smiled and pulled you closer tucking your head to his chest.

"Oh love no~no its not the same I healed you remember? It helped you! it wasn’t stitches I closed the wound my love your fine now and besides you’d have another nine months to heal...I'm not going to fuck you once your pregnant well not there anyway~...I’d never ever risk our child like that now trust me!" You cried really not wanting him to get angry like last time but you couldn't help but struggle against him it was just a natural reaction you did want it! Not only that you had anxiety over it now that he had hurt you accidentally, it brought home the fact that he was an alien. He moved to hold both of our arms tugging you forward and up onto his shoulder. He was worried he didn't want to break your fingers by tugging to hard when you latched onto the door frames and such.

"No! can we-KAL WAIT!-No can't we have dinner first or-or something Kal please- Please not now! not now!" You yelped kicking and slapping at him trying to get him to put you back down quickly becoming desperate to get away. He laughed twisting you out of the door frames reach as he entered the bedroom.

"Nonsense why eat now just to build up an appetite when I'm filling you~ Now I really would be quiet if I was you I'm not sure if all the media have left or not you don't want them to overhear and have an article about that now do you?" you froze gobsmacked was he teasing or being serious at this point you couldn't tell he would do and say anything to get you to be compliant, all you could do was whine and panic you knew it was futile to resist but it was ...It was hard.

You snapped at him trying to bite  at his neck as Kal had made it into the bed room and was lowering you. He caught your jaw swiftly.

"Bit at me again my love and I will bite back much harder" You struggled feebly against his hand on your jaw he gave a quick shake of your face.

"Understand?" You looked up tearfully

"I said do you understand female?" You shuddered at the dark voice the pure alpha male tone he managed that shamefully aroused you, you nodded meekly as much as you could with the vice like grip on your face he just nodded with a quiet 'good girl' then proceeded to launch you through he room you landed with and indignant squeak you rolled over to your back watching him approach through teary eyes.

"I am growing tired of this love...I have decided that I should resort to some more...Traditional methods with you" you held up your hands willing him away he mocked you slightly as he stood at the bottom of the bed moving to pull himself free from the suit.

"W-what do y-you mean?" You choked on a sob eyes cast over him seeing just what was awaiting you as his cock strained against the fabric.

"Oh my love come now your a clever girl~ I'm sure you'll realize soon enough...I don't know why your whimpering so? And kicking up such a fuss you always enjoy it in the end why all this fighting? I make you cum don't I? make you see stars as I make love to you? I don't have to,  I could just rip into you unprepared, fuck you dry but do I? No because I love you and I want our love making to be pleasurable for the both of us...Shh come on love...I wont dry fuck you...I promise....It would be to much for your tiny body....Look ok just lay back I promise I will be gentle this time~" his reassurance did nothing to calm you as he slipped completely out of the suit letting it fall carelessly to the floor. "I said lay back...Do not test me mate"

You weighed up the options and shuffled back to the head board whimpering as he approached you the muscles above his huge cock were tensing making the thick angry rod slap on his stomach leaving tiny spots of pre-cum across it the veins throbbing bulging much like the rest of him. He tilted his head at you waiting at the end on the bed.

"Mate come on~ won't you lay down for me? Be a good girl I've told you I'm not going to be rough today I promise-"

"Your always rough! You always hurt me!" You shouted already panicking not wanting him to touch you at all you cowered from him trying to curl tighter into a smaller ball willing him to leave you alone. He clenched his jaw neck twitching then dropped his head looking to the stiff cock jutting out and sighed.

"..I will admit our size difference can cause our lovemaking to be uncomfortable-" you growled at him

"NO! NOT JUST THAT YOU HURT ME KAL EVERYTIME YOU FORCE ME!"

"THEN YOU SHOULD BEHAVE!" You squeaked covering your ears his voice so loud it hurt, he sighed moving a hand through his hair. He hated this, your fear and refusal of him, he tried not to get mad but it was frustrating dealing with it, you-he his soul was bonded to yours yet you didn't feel a thing! He always got the brunt of it! It wasn't fair!

"I'm strong! And I-I struggle with my strength and humans! Especially you! I don't mean to hurt you but- your mine! My mate and I have a right to fuck you and fill you as I see fit. Now lay down just lay down LAY DOWN!" You tensed as he raised his voice he was going red and quivered. You feared one day he would accidentally snap a bone or-or puncture something whilst holding you down...Maybe that's why you did it? So he would kill you put an end to all this? It was the only way you were getting away.

Your thoughts were interrupted as Kal gripped and ankle and pulled ripping the leg straight and yanking you down the bed before flipping you to your stomach you scrabbled trying to get away but he struck you. His heavy palm landed o your cheeks your leggings offered no protection as his hot hand spanked you. You screamed out tensing your ass as he continued

"Its time you behaved! Time you realized your place! You are my mate-my lover mine! You hear me? MINE! And you will start to act like it or face consequences! Now get your clothes off and lay down like a good loving MATE, I'll not have you ruin a chance to conceive because your being a silly little human! These games stop now!" You wailed kicking out at him hurting your own foot scrabbling pulling the covers beneath you trying to get away but all you did was bundle the sheets at your tummy. Your foot throbbed from connecting with his hard frame one foot was still in his grasp he used it to tug you closer landing sharper blows to your thighs you wailed sobbing and rolled trying to throw him off but he twisted his hand placing you back on your front. His hand seemed to get heavier with each blow bruising and stinging your flesh all in one you screeched high as he moved and struck you harder still on the underside of your cheeks his large palm covering both at once, finally he stopped and threw your foot down to the mattress in frustration you cried sobbing pitifully in to your pillow that you'd dragged down in your bid to crawl away.

That was the first time he'd done that, he must be getting frustrated with you now he moved over clutching your throbbing cheeks digging in his fingertips to border pain.

"That is what I mean about traditional methods... You will be a good mate, a good obedient female, wife and mother! You will do as you are told when you are told or I will bring you to hand. Right now I am telling you, get your clothes off and ready yourself! Its time to be bred woman..Now move before you really have something to cry about!" You got up on hands and knees shaking through your sobs and tugged off your tshirt. It was no use maybe you should just give in...Find something in this fucked up relationship to cling to...Could you ignore him?  and the things he did if you had a baby? A child to fawn over and use that to forget your fear and hate of its father?

Kal shifted pleased you were doing as you were told and he couldn't wait to see his marks on your ass. He should have spanked you weeks ago! It seemed to do the trick getting you back into line. Sure it was a little ...undignified but you needed a firm hand! He had known that for a while but had been putting it off worried you'd stray to far from him...But who was he kidding? he loved you and you him, you were mates and once pregnant you'd feel it to he knew you would you had to...and even if you didn't its not like you could disappear with his child, the world knew you were his the league knew and were keeping tabs on you and if all fails and the ranch in Kansas doeskin work there's always the fortress.

You were strange and confusing, for a few days you'd be docile and compliant a perfect house wife, cooking and cleaning letting him do as he pleased. Then you'd act up and need a little reminding of your place, he thought he could fuck the point across to you but spanking had yeilded better results already. He bit his lip as you curled your fingers around the elastic of your leggings and pulled them down slowly revealing a red bottom. His cock jerked. Fuck that was- there was something sexy about your meek demeanor doing as you were told, pulling your own bottoms down and showing off a beautiful round blistered little ass.

Once the bottoms where at your knees Kal moved forward grabbing them and yanked pulling them completely off. You moved to lay down as he had been ordering you to but he caught your tender ass in his hands you whined when he did, his hand caressed your sore bottom reminding you of his ownership.

"Now if you'd been good you would be allowed to lay back and be ravished nicely I'd make you cum before fucking you.... But now your not ,oh no now your in for a harsh fuck-getting a fucking with a sore ass!...I'm sorry love but this is for your own good,you have to learn mate" he moved a hand across your back fisting it in your hair and tugged craning your neck back you whimpered tears falling from your eyes and you pleaded trying to reason with him.

"K-kal I'm sorry please please don't hurt me- I don't mean to-"

"shh shh my love I know...I know its your human flaw...But you must understand you cannot fight me you can't fight this" he moved his hand in your hard releasing the tendrils and rubbed your scalp slowly with sting fingers almost lovingly.

"We-we can never be apart not now! I've mated you bonded to you on such a deep level, I just wish you'd understand...I love you! And I know you love me so why fight this? You could have everything human women ever dream of! A home, a husband and children! But you-why don't you accept that! Its what I'm offering you! What I want...Its what I'm OWED!" He moved his hands to your hips and brought you back against him his hard cock slipping between your legs running the top of it past your folds in slow fucking motions rocking you across him you cringed but bit you lip not wanting to provoke him further.

"After everything Ive been through!!..I you...You think growing up here was easy for me? Oh no I had to hide love! These powers they- I didn't understand what I was! I kept to myself was ridiculed bullied and cast out! For staying away protecting them!! Then as I grew it got worse! Alone traveling the only person I had was my human mother! Then I saved earth but it wasn't enough! ITS NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU!" As he spoke he began grunting slipping his hot throbbing cock between your labia ghosting your clit making you whine trying to move away but his hands held you controlling your motions as he pressed his head into your shoulders continuing he rambles letting go of some of the baggage.

"I was hailed a hero and fucking turned on when the bill came through!..I saved your race- your planet...Fuck I died! I DIED! To save you again broke my Mothers heart and even then you couldn't let me rest! All you humans do is take take take! Your spoilt and selfish...But now,its my turn!OH FUCK YES AUGH" he moved faster bringing a hand around your front moving to your swollen clit as much as you tried to resist him it was to much, his fingers plucked away at your little nub like a vibrator pulsing on your sensitive flesh before jerking it between his fingers pulling and pinching as his cock ran lengths over your now weeping hole. You grunted softly dropping your head low as your legs trembled under the pleasure you stomach clenching and tensing with his torturous movements, the walls of you cunt quivered contracting wetting his cock even more as it begged to be filled.

"That’s it-fuck yes that's it mate get me nice and ready~ nice and wet ready to fuck you full again~I will save you you know, save all of you again and again ,but I know I will still be told to leave! But I wont not when I'm finally finally given something! Something of my own! To cherish, To love! A mate! You you've given me the prospect of a family and love and acceptance if only you wasn't a human! Why did you have to be human?! You are being selfish just like the rest! But no more...You will not be a selfish woman any more my love~ I've seen your heart-you love and care and want everyone to be better~ I will save you, I will guide you to be better, we will be better~ you'll see!" You moaned as his fingers moved down to press his crown against your twitching muscles you jerked forward moaning crying out again

"NO! NO PLE-KAL PLEASE DON'T PLEASE IM NOT-IM NOT READY I DON'T WANT IT!" He growled grabbing you around your throat squeezing threateningly you gulp as he slowly closed your airways.

"Stay very still~ don't you move love its time~ time to do your duty-your job! Time for you to accept me and my seed to be full and dripping and claimed" you winced gasping for air his voice was different darker more menacing it frightened you more then anything he had ever done he sounded mad truly and utterly stark raving mad. In the panic you moved bringing both hands to his wrists for a second ignoring the thick shaft poised at your waiting hot core.

"K-kal? Kal your-ah fu-fuck I cant- kal breath!" You tried gasping out words to him, you were unable to breath properly fighting his grip for air especially when his hand returned to torment your clit flicking and twisting it almost harshly. You bucked whining unable to stop your grinding as he chuckled his hot breath fanning over you back. He moved leaning over your back harsh words whispered into your ear.

"You know I could just fuck you passed out~ it'd be easier." He chuckled kissing at your earlobe taking it between his teeth and sucking then released.

"But I wont~ I like the sounds you make when you try to deny your body...When you try to ignore my cock as it plunges into your hot little cunt splitting you open and lodges itself inside you spraying your insides drenching your womb until I'm certain no more can fit...Pumping you full like a little whore~" you moaned as  the head of his girth pressed at your opening instantly making your body lurch towards him. He chuckled and moved releasing your neck before you could catch your breath you yelped loud as he bucked forward spearing you back onto him. You clenched your fists into the covers below you embarrassed at how easily he entered you, your juices making his... journey much easier.  He left your clit alone but you still quivered this time around his cock that stretched your insides.

"AAAHH AH FUCK YES THATS IT! GOD GOOD GIRL...SUCH A GOOD MATE!" You whimpered as he pulled back and began rocking slowly making you feel every deep thrust as his head bounced off of your cervix, something you were now used to. You winced as he ploughed into you latching onto your neck suckling dark marks int to soft skin,  biting at your shoulders hard leaving the indentations of his teeth growling and grunting the whole way. You moaned as he tilted his hips and began rutting faster and harder you blushed hearing the wet slurping sounds as your sopping cunt fought to have him inside you. It made you feel sick

"Okay love see Uggghhh fuck yes that’s- oh fuck now remember deep breath one two THREE! Ahughh my god shit shit I'm there, I'm there! Fuck!" You hissed grunting painfully as on three he slammed you back jamming his cock past your tiny soft opening like he did every time he could and held still for a few moments. He caught his breath hissing you simply stayed still at this point what will be will be. You gasped when he began his assault humping and fucking you hard and fast there was no messing around he wanted you full, to cum again and again inside your womb. A man on a mission you squeaked as each thrust of his hips made him slap against your hot bottom his thick thighs punishing you out side as his cock brutalized your insides. It was a terrible mix of pain and pleasure as his heavy full sack swung hitting your engorged clit on each motion of his pistoning hips. He moaned louder and louder as you bit your lip you didn't want him to hear you cum. But you was going to! His body covering yours the sloppy kisses to your neck and the pants his growls in your ears as his cock toyed with your insides swelling and throbbing setting fires in your nerves you bucked back to him you couldn't help it! Maybe you were mates? Maybe that's why you couldn't resist him in the end?

You reared up as he got to much your body shuddering and tensing muscles feeling like they would snap under the pressure. He chuckled feeling you squeeze him trying to milk him.

"See?~ I told you in the end you know who you belong to~ now cum! Cum for me! Your mate your lover cum for your husband!" You did in one silent scream you bucked grinding back on him clamping down on his cock just as his balls tightened and released you shuddered whining as he held you firm against him his sack pressed tight to your little bud almost pinching it between your  two body's. He grunted through laughs looking down rolling his hips slowly making sure you got everything!

"Good...I will never get tired of this~ your body so tiny ans tight but perfect...Made just for me the perfect size for me to breed you~ I love you mate so so much and I will never let you go ever....Now just here move forward..." he shuffled forward kneeling on the bed and pulled you from your doggy position the held your legs spread wide over his knees cock still fully seated inside your core.

"There we go....Yes I know your all tired already just let me do it ...Right there we are stay!" And stay you did. He wasn't done once was never enough he would go as long as he pleased. It was only a few moments later he had sat his ass on the soles of his fee and began thrusting again holding your hips dragging you up and down his flexing thighs feeding you the length of his cock readying you for the second load of the night.

You wept silently into the covers as he moved your body to suit him ,separating yourself from the act trying to ignore the way his meaty cock dragged along your insides sparking the lustful tremors all over again, trying to drown out the sounds of his grunts and praise than and the sounds that escaped you every few breaths quiet gasps and mewls. It was hard but you knew you could blank all of this at least until you came again which you would, you always did maybe that what mates are? He could rape you and you'd still enjoy it? You cant deny the man made you cum again and again, he forced your body to accept him and gave you mind numbing orgasms. Is that what it meant to be mated by a kryptonian? To be raped and feel sick and ashamed of yourself,  to be a fuck toy! A brood mare! No you will not-you will not live your life serving this aliens sex slave fantasy....You were not sex on a shelf!

Clark looked at you as you curled up around the sheets pulling them to your lightly bulged stomach. You were beautiful the red hand prints for your spanking during your love making glowed a light pink and your skin was still decorated with his cum. You'd fallen asleep exhausted before you could run and wipe yourself down like you usually tried to do as soon as he was done.

He growled nostrils flaring this was how he liked you most, fucked out on the bed wearing his cum like a fucking perfume, proof of his love scattered in bites and bruises he had sucked into your skin and finally his hand prints littering your hips waist and arms, he had proven himself to be a strong male again; the perfect male to father strong and healthy children. There was a shiver down his spine that stopped right at his cock, yes he would be a perfect father and mate if only you could feel things like he did.

He growled when the scent of his cum got a little too strong moving to lean over you from above you from the head of the bed, he needed to check and make sure you held his seed long enough! you were curled on your side. He tutted the scent had spiked because you was leaking , he watched as a steady slow stream of creamy seed was escaping all over the sheets, he grumbled 'Its no use on the fucking bed!' he had no choice he had to move you.

You groaned in your sleep but other then that didn't stir he smiled he had done well today! You were in a deep sleep he sat up at the head of the bed legs together and settled you to rest on them, he pulled you up until your shoulders leaned on his abdomen sitting you up slightly then once settled he bent his legs feet flat on the bed taking you with them. He held your knees and pulled up curving you, angling your center up on his thighs. He wanted so desperately to keep you full, his need to breed you was almost painful.

He hoped that his plan will work, he had summarized that your failing to conceive was...well it must be a punishment! He had tried to force kryptonian life mate ideals onto a human, that would never work...No he had to have you as a human to, had to marry you then-then you would be fully his accepting him as your husband and fall pregnant! That was what human women did! What they were taught to do even the nursery rhyme 'First comes love, then comes marriage then comes a baby in a baby carriage!' The idea of children after marriage was so ingrained to young girls that it has to be the reason it must be it! He couldn't think of anything else.

He wasn't sterile! He can't be he was a strong fit healthy male and he wasn't shooting blanks either he-his it just never seemed to take. It must be some strange clause in the mating because he has had you so many times fucking you until your overflowing. 

He has been careful to hold you still like this to give you the best chance and to watch you making sure your not getting rid of him now...But it just something was wrong by all the times he has cum inside you, bypassing your cervix and flooding your womb he should have taken root! He sighed looking you over again sniffing the air, you weren’t leaking anymore he would hold you like this for a while longer then lay you down to rest himself. He didn't need sleep as such but there was something humbling about waking beside you, hearing your soft snores and for a moment all was right in his world. The sun peeking through the blinds, the glow lighting up the room and he could pretend he was waking beside his wife. Sometimes he would close his eyes smiling and listen to the heart beat of one of the neighbors and pretend it was that of his child in the other room sleeping soundly. He opened his eyes looking down at you with a soft grin kissing your head then placed his chin on your shoulder looking down to your slightly bulged stomach still full of him. Today was not the day. But he stayed still watching his seed hopeful.

You woke up the next day the sun peeking through the partially opened blinds letting streams of the golden rays flood into the room. You groaned back aching you twisted slowly realising why. Your hips had been placed on not one not two but three pillows tilting your weight to rest on your shoulders you were tilted quite far, causing your back to bow and curve as if you were leaning forward. You blinked waving your arms around still half asleep you heard a page turn beside you, grunting you rolled over to your side hissing at the knots in your back pulled.

Kal was lounging on his side curved around slightly looking down he was you reading?... He tilted his head scanning the page and spoke still not looking up.

"Morning love..Did you sleep well?" You scoffed

"No...My back hurts...did you keep me like that all night?" He chuckled at you a grin on his lips.

"Yes...I have to try and keep you full how else will I get the job done? You seem to enjoy thwarting my efforts.." he finally looked up at you.

"But..I understand, well I figured it out a few days ago actually...You know I love this picture...The day I found you" his smile was bright it unnerved you.

"What-what are you? I-is that the daily planet?!"

"Yes...I popped out and got it this morning there is a cute little piece on us~ right here" You scrabbled up onto your knees ripping the paper away from him.

"Hey I was reading that!" You quickly scanned the page he was on...Another article on the both of you, 'Children before Marriage? A first hand account from neighbor Mrs Ellis' fuck. You swore and cringed dreading what she was going to have said but had the paper pulled from Your hands by Kal.

"That’s enough of that love! Don’t need you getting worked up! Not with today's plans anyway....now up and at em shower then get ready we have a very special day ahead of us!" You slowly turned to him a sinking feeling in your stomach.

"Why-Kal whats going on? That article who wrote it? I don't understand whats it about!?" He opened his mouth and looked down to the words.

"Nothing much, just that we are trying for a baby already and a few tid bits from what I told the press yesterday that your my life mate and as a inter-species couple we are still finding our way! It would seem a Clark Kent had managed to sneak back and wrangle an interview! I don't really mind it clears up some confusion." You frowned but Kal just grinned and leaned over you, trying to avoid him you shifted back and fell to the pillows behind you he laughed and rolled over you.

"Mate as eager as you are to be beneath me now is not the time~ we are finally making us official!" He leaned in taking in a huge breath smelling you still not pregnant but ovulating with any luck tonight was the night he just had to tread carefully now until today was done no point in letting you act up when he took you out.

He moved kissing your lips opening his eyes letting the red seep into them the threat he now knew worked not that he'd ever do it but you didn't seem to know that , he moved his mouth opening and closing in a sloppy kiss coaxing you to obey and open your mouth. You were getting better slowly. He was looking forward to today, would there be a frenzy? Yes. Would he regret it absolutely not. He had mated you as a kryptonian, fucked and claimed you as he believed his own race does to their mates. Now it was time to mate you as a human complete your binding as life mates then maybe you will finally fall pregnant.

Today unbeknown to you was your wedding day. Kal suckled your tongue groaning as you whined pressing your hands to his shoulders pushing but he crawled up over you rubbing his hands on your legs then stomach. He pulled away leaving you breathless and smiled, he always did love seeing you flushed and panting, pride flooded him as he looked on at you. His mate, his lover and today you would become his wife!

"Now I want your hair up today....Curly but leave a few curls around your face.And secure! We are going flying" Flying? Good with any luck he'd fucking drop you on a telecom's tower and it'd put you out of your misery! Unaware of your morbid thoughts He moved back off of you completely and walked around the bed to the bath room you cringed watching his half hard cock swinging with each step...You wish he would get some other clothes here and cover up you didn't need to see the object of your torture every morning. You shuffled back clamping your legs shut tight after seeing his cock half hard. Kal looked down with a chuckle.

"No...not now love! Gosh you are an insatiable thing aren’t you~ no that is for later for now you just relax as I said today is a big day for you...For us now hurry up"

[energyanon]

Heres Henry. It’s gonna be 2 parts cause this one was pretty intense for me. I have a feeling other people checked on him today too and didn’t close it properly 👀 guys if you’re gonna do it, close it properly pls. Also yes anon you were right about the intensity, but I knew that already. I felt it when I saw the post. Here is part one.

Placed HC.

Henry:

Eyes heavy, heart racing. Constriction in the chest (if you remember from my second reading with him and NV there was constriction there too, but I don’t have NV placed here)

Deep sighs from him and he couldn’t stand up he had to sit on the floor.

This feels like depression.

Not just an emotion of sadness, actual depression, like.. once again he’s on the edge of getting emotional and crying but just can’t seem to get them out (I find it very easy to cry and with seb I cried my heart out. If I had a choice I’d make him cry cause it’s not healthy to keep it in, but there is such a strong block to actually cry for him)

It feels rooted in masculinity, I won’t lie. There is something that keeps sending me back to “you can’t cry there’s nothing to cry about.” He feels so alone though.

He wants to fold into himself but he won’t do that either. There’s a bit of a sense of “you’re being dramatic, this isn’t worth feeling sad over”

Another deeeeeeep sigh.

And that made the tears come to the eyes, but I’m still not crying just yet. And it’s stopped again.

For real, everytime there is one iota of a feeling he shoves it down.

The way he feels is like.. you know when you feel like you’ve just wasted your life.. and you don’t know where you’re going or what you’re doing and the future just doesn’t seem worth it. It’s not suicidal by any means I’m not getting those thoughts but it’s more like..

what’s the point? Drifting. He kind of feels like he’s floating in space and it’s not a peaceful feeling, but it’s not panicked as you would be, it’s like a complete feeling of hopelessness there is nothing I can do.. I’m out of energy.

Once again that brought water to the eyes but they won’t fall.

If he had a choice he would just lie on the ground face down.

But once again, I’m allowing him to do that but he won’t move me there. It’s like he wants to but he doesn’t want to show that “weakness” except there’s no one here observing him it’s just me. Whatever this is, it’s so deeply rooted that he can’t even be himself around himself. Another deep sigh.

He doesn’t want to do anything he has no desire to move from his place on the ground, there’s barely any thoughts besides just completely lost and he really wants to just lay face down but he won’t let himself. He doesn’t even have the energy to let me get another placement…being in this I honestly just feel.. nothing. it’s not an absence of feeling per say but it’s.. I just don’t care. I don’t care about anything. He’s trying to, he’s really trying but he’s lost the feeling.

There’s chocolate in this room and he wants to eat it (comfort)

I literally had to drag myself to go get another placement cause he was not moving.

I put down career, and it wanted to be on top of him. I tried to not do that as I’m gonna have to read career on top of Henry and that’s difficult but it genuinely wouldn’t let me place it anywhere else, it’s on TOP of him.

Career

Career doesn’t seem to care that it’s on him, it’s fine being on Henry. It said “I wanna crush Henry” standing on him make its feet warm and it likes that. Hen also seems hard to it though, like standing on rocks. It’s really uncomfortable to be standing here now. Like it feels like I’m pressing my feet hard into rocks my feet really hurt.

Henry

Henry feels breathless with Career on him and I can literally feel the weight of it on me. it’s contorting my neck down and my back feels like it’s carrying this heavy thing my back is hurting now. I genuinely feel like I’m carrying something so heavy on my back and neck. It feels like it’s slowly crushing me. He’s a bit stressed about it but he can’t move. He defo wants to be out of this situation though. My body genuinely feels like I’m slowly folding into myself and I’m getting crushed under my own weight. He also feels a bit dizzy and cannot concentrate on anything else besides being crushed. I need to get myself out of this cause it really hurts.

I’m not going to do a constellation for him (no permission and also he needs to do him. I cant fix the guy) but I am barely moving career just so it is no longer crushing him and that’s the only Change I’m making cause nothing can move from here if career doesn’t move. I asked him where he wanted career, he said just in front of him, I asked if he wanted it facing him, he said no just in front. (This isn’t something I usually do I won’t talk to them, but I still needed some sort of approval in order to move career and essentially “shift” the energy.)

I (as in me) need to take so many breaks from him cause it’s so intense to be in his energy right now.

Henry:

He’s looking at career, career has its back turned, his body is still suffering a bit from being crushed, but he just feels sad and hopeless looking at career. It’s bigger than him but not massively so. But he also feels like career doesn’t like him, that career wouldn’t want to be touched by him, that he’s better to just kind of… go..

he feels shut out by career.

And that ALMOST gets me to watery eyes again but for the love of god he will not feel it.

Once again, even though he’s not being crushed anymore he feels so heavy and my feet hurt again. He’s forcing me to SHOVE them into the ground, And I can’t help feeling heavy in Henry’s energy, I feel like I weigh a tonne.

Solid cinder blocks on my feet is what it feels like. I cant move. But I also have no desire to move im just staring at career like “this is what I deserve”

I wanted to see if he would ask anything around him for help but no, he just wanted to give a little smile and pretend that it’s all good. Did not want help from anything or anyone, did not want to move and wanted to ignore it all. My FEET HURT SO MUCH.

I need to take another break. I don’t know why my entire weight seems to shift as I’m in his energy but my ANKLES cannot take the weight. it’s actually fucked my left inner ankle I don’t know what it’s called, the navicular? Everytime I try to stretch it it makes a cracking sound 🥲 energy work is fucked you guys.

On the plus side I don’t feel anymore back or neck pain. So we’re going back in.

Career:

Career doesn’t like Henry behind him. It’s Not feeling like it wants to be on top of him anymore, but it’s back is hot. Henry is encroaching on its personal space and it feels like it can feel him breathing on its back? It’s not happy about that it’s a bit disgusted.

Doesn’t feel like it should move though it feels like Henry should move away from it. It’s not CAREERS problem that Henry wants to breathe his hot breath on its back.

It’s so uncomfortable like it keeps twitching it’s back about it. It doesn’t like that feeling at all.

I moved career and yeah it doesn’t want to face him, back turned to him, it thinks he’s gross. And now it’s getting a bit of anxiety?

I cant stop getting the heebie jeebies about Henry though like I keep trying to get his germs off my back as if rolling my shoulders enough will do that it’s so gross it’s having a little spasm about it. I’m getting out of here.

Henry:

Henry feels much lighter now that career has moved, and a fraction happier. A little bit more free. Still wants to sit on the ground though.

Omg as I tried to get down onto the ground I let out such an old man groan and my body cracked in so many places. I’m not an old woman guys I’m so young 🥲 I shouldn’t be cracking.

He doesn’t feel as hopeless now as he did before, a lot lighter than before, but he still doesn’t know what to do. He’s also not as tired.

Career is there in the corner but he makes fleeting eye contact as he doesn’t really wanna look at it at all.

It’s kinda sad he’s just sitting here. Alone. Not really doing anything. Not really sure what to do. Also my backs hurting again and I keep saying “I’m getting old”

(I (EA) am not old and My back is JUST FINE)

I’m going to have to end it here and do a part 2 another time, cause this one is taking it out of me, and right now he doesn’t want to move and I also don’t feel like I should put anything down. The focus I stepped into today is defo on career than anything else.

Also I know I said I wouldn’t put NV in, but the fascinating part is.. Henry doesn’t want NV in. Like I think about it and he actually shuts down MY thought.

Weird 👀

So part two will be: the Insta post, fans and.. I’m gonna do body and status aswell.

[warmau]

royal au for han jisung?¿★

★ prince!au jisung | other skz aus 

“he’s joking right?”

hyunjin whispers to changbin, who simply shrugs his shoulders

keeping his hands politely behind his back as the crown prince of the country, han jisung, makes his way past the two from his table

“i mean, they can’t cook to save their life and yet - the prince! changbin, t h e p r i n c e, keeps coming back here like it’s the best dinner he’s ever had in his life!”

changbin elbows his fellow co-worker in the side as they bow and the prince waves a cordial goodbye to everyone else in the restaurant

you come out, towel on your shoulder and the same confused expression on your face as everyone elses

you............aren’t even the chef................yet this is the fourth time this month the prince has stopped by

and insisted, quite literally almost ordered, you be the one to prepare his food

the first time had been the weirdest - given that you had come over anxious to take the order of THE PRINCE

but upon seeing you, he’d chucked the menu to the side and pointed to you - asking you, A WAITER, to make him something good to eat

hyunjin is giving you a raised eyebrow and changbin checks to make sure the prince has left with his entourage of other royals and guards

before turning to you as well

“did you put a spell on him or something, be honest.”

“what? a spell? im not a witch changbin!”

the two boys shake their heads and you turn around when you hear the head chef call you back to the kitchen

bang chan doesn’t get it either - he’s tasted your cooking and well........

“i think the prince has an ulterior motive for coming by so often.”

he starts and hyunjin pokes his head through the door to add that obviously thats true, your food once gave him the worst case of-

you shoo him off and turn to chef chan

“im sorry, i didnt do anything i swear - i dont have any relationship to him i mean he’s the prince of our country and im just a waiter!”

judging by the bewildered look in your eyes, bang chan can tell you’re not lying

instead he puts a hand under his chin

“then what could be the reason - maybe he’s scoping you out for something?”

“like what?”

you start getting nervous, the pit of your stomach is twisting into a knot

am i wanted by the royal court? does the prince think im some kind of threat?

your mind shakes at the thought, you just don’t understand you’ve lived such an uneventful but truthful life why would-

“no, i dont think its anything like that maybe the prince just........”

the chef gets a glint in his eyes, but when you ask him to tell you what’s come to mind

he tells you to go help the others clean up for the night

as you’re washing dirty plates you sigh, remembering how handsome prince jisung had looked walking into the restaurant

how his eyes were so long and pretty, the color of sun birched wood

he had a smile that was even more striking in person, making the entirety of his face light up in a sort of playful, mischievous charm that made the whole room trip over their own feet

he had held your hand gently when he’d given you the check for the evening

had laughed when you tripped over your goodbyes

serving him your soup (which even you admitted wasn’t good at all) had nearly knocked the wind out of you - even though this was your fourth time doing it 

he just looked so poised and beautiful eating, actually he just looked perfect existing

well he’s the prince after all........

you almost jump out of your skin when changbin dunks his hands into the dish water beside you

“thinking about your boyfriend~”

he sings and you teeter to the side

“b- boy? are you insane!? he’s the prince he wouldn’t and couldn’t ever be my BOY-”

the next day, standing outside the restaurant 

is prince jisung

he’s wearing a casual pair of slacks, with a button down and a crown made of small pretty rubies on his golden hair

he greets you as you rush over for the start of your shift and you scurry to bow

but he stops you

“i have a proposal for you, how would you like to come and be my personal chef at the palace?”

from somewhere inside the restaurant you hear two very familiar shrieks of shock

your eyes go wide - wider than you ever thought they could - because this must be a dream

there’s no way your dingy soups made such an impact on someone so untouchable

so you do something unthinkable, because its a dream maybe this wont have any consequence, you push the prince gently into the restaurant

and shut the doors on the crowd of people who were outside

now - alone - you look up at him, who just beams down at you

seemingly over the moon about the fact that your hand is on his chest

you take it off and squeak out a long line of apologize and “my highness, i did not mean it. i would never put my dirty poor hands on you-”

when he takes your fingers and gently lifts them up to his lips

ok. this is a dream. no way is prince jisung kissing my hand. nope, i obviously am having a sleep deprived, amazing, so so so so real dream-

“im serious, id like you to come and work for me at the palace.”

“i - my prince, i cant. i cant even cook, im just a waiter and i know you said you liked my dishes but i assure you, someone of your taste and stature should not have to eat what i make really i think im not worthy of the -”

his eyes flutter close as he chuckles

“fine, fine. dont come as a chef then. come as something else.”

you furrow your eyebrows in confusion, tilting your head

“as something else?”

“come to the palace as my guest, but maybe if you like it you can stay as something else. whats the word commoners use these days, ah - my friend with benefit.”

you think your face hits 100 degrees at the words and you shake your head

“um - pr-prince jisung, did you mean - are you asking m- are you asking me out? i - i think you meant - i think you meant significant other -”

he snaps his fingers 

“ah yes, i can be your boyfriend if you decide to stay!”

you think you’re going to faint, you wobble a little and he uses the hand thats not still holding yours to steady you

“if im being honest, your soup is ......... not amazing. but i couldnt think of any other way to invite myself back here. so i thought id come around and eat your soups until you realized my interest in you.”

he stops and smiles and its really like basking in the sun

“my romantic interest in you, so what do you say?”

you open your mouth

you want to say words but you think youve overheated

the door to the kitchen opens, and out pile hyunjin, changbin and bang chan

the prince and you turn to them in surprise and hyunjin clears his throat

“prince jisung, allow me to answer on behalf of my friend and fellow waiter: they will MOST CERTAINLY take you as their boyfriend.”

you hiccup and changbin and chan try not to burst into laughter

as jisung turns to you and pulls you into his chest

“amazing! im honored!”

you bury your face into the his shirt - not sure which is more embarrassing pulling back and looking at your new (royal) boyfriend

or facing the three stooges to your left, who are having a ball at your expense

either way - when you finally do let yourself out from jisung’s hold you turn and ask

“but i dont have to make anymore soups right?”

prince jisung nods

“yes, no more soups. they were horrible, i like you a lot but they might be the only thing i dont like about you.”

you agree, and so does everyone else, that that’s fair.

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Heat Stroke Sith Obi Wan x Reader

Pairing: Sith obi wan x reader

Warnings: mild language, very mild violence, a hint of smut.

A.N. This is literal trash but wanted to post anyway😅 enjoy~

***************************************************

Oh this was hell...no actually I take that back, hell would be alot cooler than this godforsaken planet.

"Don't dawdle y/n, we have a mission to complete" your master scolded with a half glance behind him.

Sighing you looked up through hooded eyes and continued to drag you half bent body through the busy market place.

"I know master but it's sooo hot" you whined, feeling the burn of this planets 3 goddamn suns beating on your back.

"Don't be dramatic y/n" he said with a slight eye roll that you couldn't see but knew was there.

"Dramatic?!" You perked up annoyed "Master, you do remember I was born and raised on an ice planet dont you?"

"How could I not, you've only mentioned it a thousand times" he teased with a smirk.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?" You quirked an irritated brow.

You watched as he smugly strode through the streets ahead of you.

"How are you not dying in those robes?" You caught up with him, sweat dripping down every inch of your body.

He shrugged, "This planet is hotter than those we've visited I admit, however it's a minor inconvenience at most. Perhaps it's because of how skilled I am with the force" he offered.

"What?! You cant regulate your body temperature through the force!"

"Wait.....can you?!?!?" You looked up at him in disbelief.

He shook his head with a laugh, "It seems we still have a long way to go with your training young one"

iT sEeMs wE sTiLl hAvE a lOnG wAy tO gO wItH yOuR tRaInIng you mocked in your mind. God how big was his ego-

"Oww" you felt a sharp slap on the back of your head through the force.

"It would also seem you need a lesson in respect" your master said sternly.

Whoops, gotta remember to keep those mind shields up..

You sheepishly apologized and decided to stay silent for awhile. Instead focusing on the many street vendors lining the streets.

After a while of walking Obi wan abruptly stopped,

"What is it?" You asked curiously standing up more alert now. You followed his line of vision and saw two men conversing quietly, one a green twilek and the other from an aquatic planet, a priorlik. Definitely not normal, priorliks avoided dessert planets like the galactic plague.

The men both stood up and you could faintly see them exchange a small parcel. They stepped away from each other leaving in opposite directions.

"I'll follow the priorlik, you go after the twilek, do not let him escape" he ordered and you quickly jumped into action.

You followed at a decent distance, not wanting to alert him until he was far enough from the main crowd. You weren't keen on causing a huge scene.

You wondered what information he had that your master was so interested in. You hoped it was worth you getting broiled like a casserole. you would literally die for a even a fleck of snow right now.

The twilek paused ahead and immediately you turned to a vendor, pretending to peruse the merchandise.

"Need any help miss?" You shook your head, "No, thank you, I think I have enough..." you paused looking down at the wares, "snakeskin underwear...." eww why would anyone ever want- Ah that's right-

You really had to work on not getting distracted.

Fuck, you couldn't see the green tails anymore. Speeding up the street you glanced down the surrounding alley ways.

Unfortunately he was facing you at the last one and took off running with a grunt.

Oh come one dont make me run, as if I wasnt hot enough already ugh...

You pushed through and began your pursuit. The criminal was quick for his size you had to admit. He seemed to know where he was going so you decided to jump onto the rooftops for a better view point.

You quickly surveyed the area and found a way to cut him off. Dashing to the side you jumped over several alleyways and gracefully flipped down onto the street in front of him.

He grinded to a halt, glaring at you, "Get out of my way"

"Hmmm I would, however I dont particularly feel like it sooo no". you unclipped the electro cuffs from your belt. "Let's do this the easy way please, I'm sick of being on this planet" you took a step closer and he withdrew two blasters from under his Cape.

Ugh fine we'll do it the hard way. With an eye roll you dodge the oncoming blasts easily.

"Come now there no need for-woah" you lost your footing for a moment barely missing a blast aimed at your head. That was weird...

Using the force you pushed the criminal back against the wall. He groaned attempting to get up but you pushed him once more. "I told you hah we could do this hah the easy hah way.." god why were you so out of breath?

Suddenly you felt incredibly lightheaded and had to press a hand against your forehead.

"Heh some sith you are, can't even handle the heat" he got to his feet picking up a discarded blaster.

Heat? Was that the reason?! Seriously?! You drew your saber, needing to end this quickly, you deflected his blasts, albeit very sloppily.

Then suddenly he pointed his weapon upwards and shot at the surrounding brick, causing a blanket of dust to envelop you. You coughed and cursed yourself for not being fast enough to evade it.

He laughed and turned around to escape.

"*Cough* oh no you don't" you weakly raised a hand and with much more concentration and focus than ever needed before, brought down a balcony on top of him. He gasped looking up but was too slow to move. You smirked at his unconcious form.

However it was quickly replaced with a frown as you felt yourself pitching to side.

Ouch

you groaned feeling the hard ground agitate your burnt skin however you were too exausted too move.

It was official, you hated this planet more than the stupid jedi.

You squinted as the bright rays beat down on your body relentlessly. If this is how I die, I'll die of embarrassment..wait no that doesn't make sense...arggh great now my brain is fried too.

Suddenly a shadow blocked your vision and you squinted trying to make out the form.

"Y/n?" Oh youd know that voice anywhere.

"Hey master..."

You heard the clanking of a trooper and an order to tie up the enemy.

Obi wan furrowed his brows confused, he could see no visible injury on your scantly clothed body.

Kneeling down he grasped your chin so you faced him, "What's wrong"?

"Mmi ot" you murmured lazily.

"Beg pardon?" He quirked a brow leaning closer.

"Hot" you managed to slip out.

He let out an scoff.

With a shake of his head he wound an arm around your back and another behind your knees scooping you up.

"You really are more trouble than your worth" he couldn't help but smirk.

"Mm" with another shake of his head he made his way back to the ship.

********************************

Later that evening...

"M-master please it's too c-cold" you shivered as the piece of ice continued sliding up and down your body relentlessly. Your master the culprit.

He tutted continuing his assault, "The whole mission I listened to you complain about the heat, now your complaining about the cold? I believe you need a lesson in endurance my dear..."

Ugh stupid smug bastard

"Ah ahh" you gasped as the ice cube suddenly slid impossibly close to your most sensitive area.

You looked up desperate and frustrated only to be met with Obi wans dangerously playfull gaze.

"And a lesson on keeping your mouth shut..."

Did I say that out loud?

"Not to worry though pet..." he climbed up over your shivering body leaning down beside your ear. "I have just the thing to keep that sharp tongue of yours busy" he whispered, the puff of hot air making you go dizzy.

As soon as heard the edge to his voice and saw the lustful glint in his eye, you knew you wouldn't be complaining for a long long long time..

[butterfliesinthenightsky]

hi sweetheart !! may i please req an ateez and bts personality ship ?? my description was SUPER long (I GOT CARRIED AWAY </3) so you can cut my request at the personality part when posting my ship! tysm in advance <3

I’m an ‘03 liner that’s 5’9.5 (basically 5’10) with dark skin, jet black hair (currently in long twists rn!!), and i’m on the curvier side (esp hips and my thighs) !! some of my favorite features are my plump lips (and i have a beauty mark near the inside of my bottom lip!), my long legs (they’re 40.5 inches long and look so good in dresses and skirts <33), my kempt and pretty fingernails, and my eyelashes !!! i’m a virgo (and surprisingly i get along with all the signs, i cant think of a sole zodiac sign i DONT mix well with but i love cancers and virgos <33) ! i’m also an ambivert all the way! i often come off as cold/shy/quiet when meeting new people (one of my closest friends avoided me for a month before meeting me because i looked so intimidating LMAO), but once you get close to me i turn into a goofy (heavy on the goofy im never not laughing) bundle of warmth and love: i will never stop texting them the <3 emoji every morning or buying my friends/s/o their favorite starbucks order when they need a little cheer-me-up. also, lots of people say i’m mature and carry myself well, but around my friends i’m one of the most goofiest people ever (probably bc my face will literally be 😐 one sec and then 🥰 the next second when someone makes me laugh <3)

tysm in advance!!! Have an amazing day/afternoon/evening!

@anpanseok DARLING! I hope you love your ship <3 I'm actually really proud of this one, you'll have to let me know what you think! <3

In ATEEZ, I ship you with one and only demon San!

(I thought you'd like that gif ;) )

Okay, when you were describing all of the things that you would want in the relationship, I thought of San due to how clingy and affectionate he is with the other members of ATEEZ. He is a Cancer, which is good because that is one of the star signs that are compatible with yours. I don't believe that the age difference of four years would be that much of an issue, especially since San acts younger than he is most of the time anyway. I feel like most men are intimidated when their female significant other is tall themselves, but he is tall himself and I feel like the fact that you are taller is kind of one of his favorite things about you? One of his other favorite things about you are your curves, he always puts his hand on your thighs during movie night at the boys' dorm or in the back pocket of your jeans when you two are walking into KQ Entertainment together. When you wear dresses when all of you go out to fancy dinners together, he has to hold himself back because he ADORES you when you wear dresses! You said you're am ambivert, I feel like he relates to that in some form of way, like I feel like there are certain situations where he feels a bit more introverted about. Sometimes Hongjoong has to scold him because he texts you so much, but he can't stay mad at you when you pop into the building with their favorite Starbucks drinks and hand-made lunch boxes for them. Just as you always support his creative endeavors, he always returns it for you tenfold and when you are talking about issues you care deeply about, he gives you his full attention and stares at you lovingly. Not just San, but all of the boys, come to you whenever they are dealing with stress and they just want someone to talk to because you are so amazing at giving advice and supporting them. There was a time when a sasaeng approached you, San, Wooyoung and Jongho when you were doing some late night grocery shopping when another ATINY stopped her, causing an argument and nasty words to be exchanged. Let's just say, you shut that sasaeng down REAL quick when you heard some of the things she said. One day you woke up and found a present that San made for you, a mixtape of all of your favorite songs from all your favorite genres of music, along with a little keychain that had tokens of all of the states you had visited. He wholeheartedly loves you and he makes every effort to support all of your dreams. When he has days off from work, the two of you make a blanket fort in your living room and watch old episodes of Forensic Files and Law & Order: SVU, whilst surrounded by fluffy blankets and a couple of his favorite plushies. His life an idol doesn't afford him much down time, unfortunately, but he always makes time for you and you always have the craziest adventures with not only each other, but all of the other boys as well. Squishy San will want all of the cuddles, have you SEEN how affectionate he is with the other members?! Also, him in all black outfits.... YES, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. One day he was visiting your apartment and he surprised you with matching beaded pearl bracelets and he never takes it off, not even for performances. The boys don't really think nothing of walking into the bathroom to brush their teeth whilst one of the others is showering, that just comes with their busy schedules and their dorm life. Let's just say this: Mingi wasn't able to look you in the eyes for two weeks because he did just that, not realize that you had snuck in and stayed the night, and were currently going to the bathroom whilst San was in the shower. Your camera roll is not only filled with silly pictures of San that you've captured, but of the most magazine worthy, model pictures you have ever been lucky enough to take. He accepts you for all of your flaws, and helps you to try to work on them, however that may be and you do the same for him.

In summary: You both are simps for each other and I AM HERE FOR IT.

In BTS, I ship you with Namjoon!

Another tall boy for you, I got you! You both are Virgos, but I looked it up worried that two Virgos would clash, and it said that they would be very intuitive with each other and would understand each other! The age gap is quite large, I don't know how okay you are with that? I know everyone has different preferences. He approached you first when he saw you at the mom & pop coffee shop/cafe around the corner from your apartment, and he thought you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Another man who I don't think would be bothered by your curves (men can be shallow dicks), I think that is his favorite thing (same as San) about you. Not even in a sexual way, I feel like his hands would always end up on your butt without him even noticing. Most of the time, one of the other boys will point it out when all of you are hanging out together, and he will be proud that he has a significant other like you, but he almost might become a shy mess about it I feel like. I feel like he can get jealous, just because you are closest to Jungkook in the group and you often pull pranks on the other members together. There is never a shortage of laughs when all of you are together, pure crackhead energy if I've ever seen it, just non stop jokes and banter between all of you. You were able to get time off from work and were actually able to join them (their managers were surprisingly chill about you tagging along? CONFUSION?) on their tour around Europe and you had so many memories. You actually brought along a Polaroid camera that you found in a little store one day when the two of you were shopping, and you ended up having to buy an extra suitcase on the trip because you took LITERAL hundreds of pictures of all of your adventures and the tour shenanigans. He has childish tendencies, I feel like he would love to play Roblox with you? I feel like he would take a very mathematical approach to building things, that's just the vibe I get from him. He often stares at you when you're doing your makeup in the morning, he finds it fascinating and he even asked you to do his makeup for some of his shows. His makeup artists weren't angry, luckily, all of their staffs absolutely adore you two together. He is all up for adventures, I feel like he would chicken out at the idea of skydiving, though lol. You keep stealing his sweaters, which he low-key highkey is SO happy about because he loves the way that you look in them. The size difference is only three or four inches (I've seen people say he's 6 feet, but then others say he's 6 foot 2, WHICH IS IT?!), so it's pretty easy to sneak kisses from him whenever you want them when you're together. If he sees you struggling to stay awake whilst studying, he'll softly close your book and drag you over to your bed for a couple hours so you can take a quick nap to regain the energy. I don't really know his temperament that well, he has to be rather even-tempered to deal with those hooligans he calls the rest of BTS, so I feel like you wouldn't have that many fights. You both are always striving to help each other to be the best versions of each other you can be. You joined the boys on vacation at a lake house and one night you were having dinner and he blushed after you said something cheeky to him, causing you to say to him, "You look like a cute tomato when you blush, my cutie pie." in front of the other members. Needless to say, he turned even more red and the boys teased him mercilessly for the rest of the night. Don't know how the cooking would go (this boy is a DISASTER in the kitchen), but you would have fun learning new dishes. He would brag about getting a dish right, and you quickly praise him but also say, " and that's why you a big ass head.", causing him to die laughing. He is the very definition of a hard worker, and I feel like he would love being praised and doing the same for his significant other, so I'm glad that you said that you liked the words of affirmation love language, because GET READY. He's definitely been buffing up (I SCREAM WHENEVER I SEE PICTURES OF HIM NOWADAYS), so

his hugs would always be the best things, so warm and comforting. Don't know how you feel about children? We've all seen that VLive where this idiot literally bought baby shoes because he thought they were cute, so I think he would definitely want children down the road in your relationship if you were both comfortable with it. Best father and husband award goes to him.

In conclusion: SIMP. SIMP. SIMP. SIMP. SIMPPPPPPPPPPPP.

[godwithwethands]

lmao i don't know all your shipping preferences but can i say, i much prefer sam with ba'al than with jack (this might be because i'm a high jack/daniel shipper but also, i just prefer the sam/ba'al vibe over the sam/jack vibe)

I'm a multishipper so I ship pretty much everything simultaneously: I love JackDaniel too 🥰🥰🥰 They are so cute and so good for eachother 🥺

Honestly yeah I prefer the vibe of BaalSam to JackSam as well 👁️👅👁️ But that's personal taste and interpretation of course 🥴

Oh no now I feel like explaining in depth why I love Baalsam and why I ship it... oh no... someone stop me 😩... LET'S FREAKING GO I'M GONNA EXPLAIN WHY!!!!

Mino’s “Here’s why I love BaalSam so much” aka just me gathering up the few baalsam crumbs the show writers, Amanda Tapping and Cliff Simon left in their wake....and baking a cake with those crumbs.

Before I start, PSA: English is not my first language, so please bear with me if there are any mistakes 😭

Okay so I feel like at first I can't explain it without mentioning the differences with jacksam, and to all jacksam shippers: I love jacksam to bits too and they're so good, as the show has showed us multiple times, but I miss a little spice here 😩🌶️

I will also briefly talk about things I have found in Baalsam fics that I adore in (Fic points)!! And link back to fics I love with (x)!!!!

(Mid-writing note: I realize I say a lot about Baal and less about Sam, and that is because I just think about Baal way much than I think about Sam, mainly because we have so little Baal screentime compared to Sam’s screentime. I often wonder how/what he feels and try to analyze his behavior closely. 🥺 I don’t do it as much with Sam, sadly 😭

1. The ship dynamic scale (totally made up by yours truly, me 😎)

I often describe the ships I prefer as "A is obnoxious and B is struggling to stay sane" (maybe because it is a description of my own relationship??? 🤔) (this is exagerrated for fun and giggles don't worry i am fine and happy). They are all a variation of this, in different levels. I'd say jacksam fits level 1, Jack being obnoxious sometimes but in an endearing, jokingly, "aww you're such a goof 😍😂" way, and Sam's not really struggling, she just laughs and shakes her head, her heart full of love for her man.

Baalsam on the other hand. Oh boy. They are on level 5 out of 5. What the hell. Baal is obnoxious, in the villain way. And that means, a VERY extra way. He's mean obnoxious. Putting salt in the wound obnoxious. "if you don't shut up I will punch your teeth in/shoot you" obnoxious. Sam is struggling every minute to stay sane with this crazy motherfucker. He's SO MUCH. ALL THE TIME. But joke's on her, she also thinks it's funny. 🤡 That's her sanity flying out the window.

Seriously, Sam has to put her foot down. She has to play Baal’s game and sometimes be mean too. I feel like Baalsam allows Sam to unveil her true potential. A strong woman who takes no shit from men and 2000 years old overlords. She can be 200% true, smug, mean. Maybe JackSam respect each other too much they wouldn’t dare saying/doing some things like Baalsam would  🤔 Maybe Sam is restrained by everything she lived with Jack, the respect she has for him, the 10 or so years spent having him as her superior officer.

A lot think that Sam got her smug from Jack, but I don’t agree: she was smug from the get-go in COFG. She just can’t be too smug with him around or it’d sound like insubordination. Aint she tired of being nice? Doesn’t she wanna go apeshit? That’s what baalsam is. Sam going apeshit and quitting being the perfect nice girl.

Baalsam is an explosive volcano and it ravaged me 😩💖💖💖

2. Baal is a Villain

Send him to horny villain jail!!! BONK!!! 💥🔨

Baal being a villain is VERY important. Villains are so extreme. Everything he does, he does way too hard and too much. His evil plans? As layered as an ogre. Onion. I meant onion. His wardrobe? Nothing but the finest. His love? He'd give his Queen the Universe.

I love that. Everything he does, it's too much. But it's so amazing. Urghhj I love it SO MUCH. Sam is overwhelmed 😩💖 All of that for HER?? Damn, boi either really wants to get laid with her especially or.. 🙊‼️ I love the concept of a Villain’s Love because it knows no boundaries. A villain won’t be held back by things like morals, the love they feel is disproportionate......AND I DONT KNOW Sam being able to provoke this kind of feeling in Baal’s little snake heart makes me lose my absolute fucking mind!!!!! 

Very important too: even if he becomes a SGC ally in one way or another in whatever AU, Baal will still keep his good ol' villain habits. Sam would try to tone them down, but they will always be there. You don't erase 2000 years of bad habits 😭. His first solution will be murder, and she will go "we talked about this." Classical Enemies to Lovers shit  🥴💖 (x)

(Fic point: When Baal does something so extreme yet so so soooo damn sweet for her and Sam can’t believe it??? 10/10 Or when he acts on his villain plans for distasteful jokes and that puts Sam on a tight spot and he immediately feels bad at the unfair treatment she gets because of him (x))

3. The endless verbal jousting

I love watching them being mean to each other. If Baal goes too far, she /would/ hit him, and he would turn his other cheek saying "Do it again, loved it". What a freak 🥴🌶️ (x)

Honestly I just love their little sparring matches, even more so when they do it in front of an audience. Like lmao guys..... y'all flirting in front of everyone what the hell!!! BONK !! 💥🔨 horny jail for both of you. At least Teal’c seems to enjoy their jousting  😂 He even teases them holy shit, Teal’c is the true multishipper in that show!!!!

(Fic point: When they argue and come to a fistfight (mostly Sam hitting and Baal taking or blocking the hits)? HELL YEAH!!!!)

4. Admitting the other’s qualities

I’ll start with Baal:

Baal seems to appreciate the courage Sam shows in front of him. You could explain her confidence in The Quest by saying that at this very moment Baal doesn’t have an advantage on Sam since she’s the one holding the gun. There is something else, and I will bring it up later.

Let’s talk about Reckoning!!!! The situation is different, Baal actually called for help whereas he was supposed to kill everyone on Dakara. And here goes the little sparring match in front of Jacob  🤡 Sam ordering Baal around??? Being smug as hell??? 10/10 love it

It’s the first time he sees her and he’s taken aback. He should look mad, having a woman addressing him like that. But he looks rather surprised and curious of what’s going to happen next. I can literally hear the little “Hm. Interesting.” in his head. Baal enjoys that smug look on her face. Tau’ri female who??? Who IS she!!! Quick gotta be a jerk so she won’t suspect I’m crushing super hard right now!!!! Cliff Simon decided Baal will be the horny one among the System Lords and holy shit he did just that 😂😂😂 i’m sorry i’m just incohenrently babbling at this point I CANT BELIEVE THIS, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!! you thought that huge ass post was going to be me thoughtfully bringing points and evidence? nope it’s just me losing my shit.

I believe that, despite what Baal says, he recognizes Sam’s intelligence to some extent. He’s just too proud to say it clearly and is too busy testing Sam’s limits. The more I think about it, the more I feel like he really looked for that punch in The Quest. Some kind of... I don’t know... “What makes you so special, as a female Tau’ri, to be on your kind’s elite scout team? How much can you take before you retaliate, if you retaliate at all? Show me what you’re made of.” kind of thing? Baal has shown some kind of interest in Earthlings in the past. He has studied them while living among them and he seems to like how different they are from other humans, Now he knows she’s as fierce as she needs to be to survive in this galaxy.

Have you sEEN his smile and his laugh after she punched him in The Quest? AFTER SHE TURNED HER BACK TO HIM TOO, OH, MY GOD. He really wanted a drastic reaction from her and he got it.

That is a “I love me a woman who can kick my ass” kinda smile if you ask me  👁️w👁️...

What makes me think that it was a test is: after the punch and Sam’s threat to kill him, he stops being so annoying and they can finally work together. But why? Why did he care about being killed? He was a clone, there’s no way he was still hoping to steal the Sangraal from SG-1, so his mission as this one Baal clone couldn’t be fulfilled anyway. That makes me think that he was just testing Sam’s limits, and maybe having a little fun with her.

(Fic point: I LOVE IT when Baal gets access to the SGC and everyone gets on his nerves because he thinks they are all dumb as shit. But when he talks with Sam, he’s not so annoyed. She can keep up with him. Well, sometimes she needs a little help but- Maybe she’s okay to be with sometimes...(x))

Sam’s turn: 

It’s no problem for Sam to admit Baal’s intelligence. However the idea of working with him just makes her go [grimacing emoji]  😭 😭 😭 She just knows he’s gonna be obnoxious pfahahaha But!! She trusts and values his knowledge nonetheless! She knows that teamed up with Baal, they can solve anything. I believe that’s why she asks him for help so easily despite...Well, Baal being Baal.

I feel like, when you put the "it’s a matter of life and death” thing aside, Sam’s desire to learn could push her towards Baal. She knows there is a lot she could learn from him, and they can work together once he stops insulting her every 5 seconds. She can learn from him in those moments.

(Fic point: I love fics where Sam learns things from Baal... It’s usually very sweet, because Sam is absolutely adorable when she’s excited about science and Baal can’t help but melt a little bit when she smiles so bright at him. Thankful.) 

5. Sam’s kindness 

I said earlier that, as we all know, Baal is a villain. But what’s important here is that he is a Goa’uld System Lord. 

No trust, no kindness and love allowed between those guys. Those would leave the door open for treason and low blows. (See Qetesh in Continuum)

(I believe the only Goa’ulds truly in love we saw were Apophis and Amaun’et)

Now what I tell myself is: that must be pretty freaking lonely. In any shape or form. You can’t have friends, because you can only befriend your fellow godlings who will try to kill you at any given opportunity. Same for mates. 🤔 Baal is just alone at the top of his army and that’s all. What if this isn’t enough? He is different from other Goa’ulds.

What if Sam’s genuine worry and thankfulness towards him in Reckoning were the first time he had someone feel those towards him for like, hundreds, or even thousands of years? Not something distorted and stained by any slave-to-god adoration?

He is soooo surprised. He even stutters a little? At a loss for words when faced with kindness, you, galactic overlord? And she looks actually worried about him and his ship about to go down, when before saying thank you, she asks him what’s going on. I like to think that this first interaction shaped what Baal will think and feel for Sam forever....And that it made him a bit soft for her  🥺 Maybe he sees in Sam (and in the rest of SG-1, see: how much fun he’s having with them during The Quest) a possibility for friendship and maybe more, something he hasn’t considered for A WHILE. He seems to be thinking “did she really say that...wait what do I answer to this...uh....Good luck.......ok i said it. damn that was weird.” 

Also can I briefly talk about this??

Why does Sam look so embarrassed in a “Oh god right Dad is right there and saw all of that hUM.” way 😂 I don’t think she felt like it was creepy, since Baal was just responding to her kindness, and she definetely doesn’t want to talk about her being nice to a System Lord with Jacob bjfdjgbfdg

(Fic point: All I can think of is this fic where Sam gets thrown in a prison cell with a badly beaten up Baal (his symbiote is not able to heal his wounds because of a collar he wears), and she refuses to leave him there to die. They escape together 😭💖💖💖 (x))

6. Sam knows Baal will never hurt her

Maybe this is a result of Sam’s kindness in Reckoning, but Baal made it clear to Sam that he would never hurt her directly. And this is what I was referring to when I said “there’s something else” in Sam’s confidence in confronting Baal. This line below activates all of my monkey braincells because what the hell!!!!

That’s “I kinda like you” in Villain language is it not????? Out of all the things Baal could have answered to “You can kill me if you want”, he decides to say “I would never dream of killing you.” with a voice so soft... oh my god. Talking about soft....

Is it me or Baal’s touch on Sam is kind of gentle....like he doesn’t hold her wrist too tight or anything,,,,  🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭💖💖💖 Because honestly, another Goa’uld would have yanked on her arm so hard to put their hands on that hard drive but no no no he just closes his hand on her wrist and lets her go gently when she pulls out of his grip and AM I OVERANALYZING THIS?????? IM SORRY I GOT THAT TRAIT FROM MY DAD!!!!!!! we just have that tendency to watch things over and over again to notice all the small detailsssss

I like to think that afterwards, once the heat of the moment gone, she noticed that, hey. He /could/ have hurt her very badly, she was at his mercy after all. But he decided against it. Maybe because she’s the only one who’s been nice to him for literal cenTURIES????? HHHNHNHNHNHN I CANT!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE SHE NOTICED IT!!!! And that it’s why she’s so confident addressing him like she does in The Quest.

I think I’ve addressed pretty much everything here and I’m going to talk about more things I like about BaalSam but more on the headcanon side  🤔

Miscellaneous: 

About Baal’s host:

I have said multiple times that Baal is different from other Goa’ulds, and I really don’t think it is just an act. 

He is willing to break the god act, change strategies when he realizes there are better ways to proceed, searching for new allies in drastic situations, etc etc... Baal is way more human than other Goa’ulds.

What if that was because Baal let his host’s thoughts influence his own?

Why wouldn’t there be asshole humans wanting to be hosts to asshole Goa’uld symbiotes? Just like the Tok’ra, but on the villain side? (even if Tok’ras are assholes lol) (except Jacob. I love Jacob) (And Martouf) (I don’t like Martouf but he’s the only one with Jacob that I consider a Real Tok’ra) (The other ones are hypocrites) (ANYWAY!)

I love to think that when Baal doesn’t have the flanged voice, it is his host who speaks, as Tok’ras do. I know symbiotes don’t have to talk with the flanged voice but. Having Baal and his host thinking so alike that it doesn’t matter if it’s the host or the symbiote talking makes so much sense to me. It really could explain his different way of thinking. Baal has shown curiosity for humans and how they think, how to better manipulate them...What if it was because of the good experience he has with his host? It could also explain why he’s the horny one amongst the System Lords 😂 He is just very human in a lot of ways.

Now you’re like “ok but what does that have to do with Baalsam” AND YEAH I HEAR YOU !!!! I just think it may be easier to imagine Baalsam for a non-shipper if you see Baal in that light?  🤔 🤔 🤔 it sure helps Sam seeing herself with him in fics 🥴 I don’t know!!! We know so little about Baal, and there are so many possibilites. I’m going way out of the Baalsam remit but at the same time, I strongly believe those who don’t understand the ship are those who stop their analysis of Baal at Abyss. He is so much more than just “that one Goa’uld who tortured and killed Jack in that one episode”. Baal has so much potential that makes this ship work!! Sam seeing that potential makes this ship work!

Sam hosting Baal (yes, the symbiote):

OKAY OKAY OKAY SO!!! This is something I LOVE to bits!!

That’s a thing that is great if as I said, Baal and his host are on the same wavelength. But it can work without it nonetheless.

Sam hosting Baal, consensual or not, is always ALWAYS such an amazing trope. (x) It’s really something that makes me hyperventilate because it makes them so close...so blended...it’s infinitely intimate... When Baal is in love with Sam, it’s even better. (x) I almost can’t describe it because it is so wonderful. Being able to feel each other’s feelings. Baal healing Sam from inside when she’s injured. Sam deciphering his emotions and most importantly the affection he has for her, especially when he still haven’t confessed it? holy shit it’s SO DAMN GOOD!!!!! The silent conversations they can have within Sam’s head, Baal pouring Goa’uld knowledge into Sam’s mind. It’s just the two of them and I can’t express how comforting that is to read.

i don’t know, random stuff I like i guess, I’m almost done: 

He just really craves her attention huh. Look at that smile, so cute...”I’m smart! Did you know I’m smart as hell? Of course you did. But I Would Like You To Acknowledge It.” He’s even bouncing on his heels, i love when he does that!!!! He is turning towards Sam especially too  😭💖 and she’s just ê____ê LMFAO

(Maybe this is just another “it is my speciality and not yours” moment but hey i like to give him the benefit of the doubt 💖)

Baal being “I’m tired of being a villain, I want to be loved now”...Aren’t you tired of going apeshit? Don’t you want to be nice? just a little bit?

Baal using so much petnames so easily... i’m usually not a fan of those but having him saying “my love, my sweet” etc etc oh fuck!!!!! i don’t know wHY it gets me!!! 

A lot of Baalsam fics are smutty, and while I enjoy that, I still think they have so much potential on the spiritual level. They’re both nerds and they both have so many things to learn from the other. (x)

Baal taking Sam on his ship to show her some neat space stuff.

Baal loving motorcycles just like Sam and modifying engines with naqadah.

Guess i’m just gonna link to fics I love now nvkjfdg and that I haven’t linked to already--

In the Lap of the Gods - Rating: M - Sam gets stuck in a sarcophagus with Baal. Really well thought fic, I love it!!!

The Mating game - Rating: M - Ten dates. Can I call this slow burn? It’s slow but not too slow. Please read this, it’s hilarious and so well written like- this fic makes me lose my absolute shit!

The Mating Game: Endgame - Rating: E - Read after The Mating Game. Honestly yEAH!!! Amazing sequel to an already amazing prequel, what else can I say 😩💖 you got some Host!Sam action in this too!!

Enemy Amongst Us - Rating: E - Hmmmm Sam falling for Baal is always yummy 🥴 It has more than that, it’s pretty wild!!!!!!

Those are not all but they are the ones i prefer 🥺💖💖💖 (along the ones I linked during the essay) 

I think I’m done? Congratulations for reading all of this lmao  😭💖 I hope you can see why I love Baalsam so much now!! They are just SO MUCH FUN!!! 

feel free to send me asks and stuff about this TvT/

[mostlikelyshutup]

thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

[unironicduncanstan]

[UNI’S LPS LORE DROP BITCH]

so ,,, i used to collect littlest pet shop (mostly the 1st and 2nd gen ones bc yall i am old) and theyre long gone now but. these are some of the lps i remember playing with and giving distinct personalities growing up. most of them didnt have names at all so im just referring to them with numbers and pictures. also warning it gets pretty Dark bc weird kid culture but here we go;;;

the first is #11 and #86. they were my absolute FAVORITES, a mother and daughter duo, a lot of their stories revolved around the kitten getting lost and the mom having to get to her, or the kitten dying and the mom having a mental breakdown. 11 mostly acted as a single mom but sometimes id cycle out different potential dads, usually the dog lps bc i did Not care abt the actual scientific lack of interspecial breeding possibilities

#25. a basic white picket fence ass dude, really common choice as the ‘dad’ in the above situation, he also was not immune to being ‘killed off’ for angst. was also cheated on a couple times by 11 (THOSE WERE AUS THO,,, DONT CANCEL HER ITS OK TO KEEP STANNING)

#200. she was #11s best friend, I think her name might have been hannah??? anyways if the mom and dad were killed off sometimes she’d “adopt” #86. but usually only after #86 fell into the custody of a terribly neglectful parent for a while and had to be rescued bc again, in my gay neurodivergent little brain peace was never an option

#487. another love interest for #11, usually competed with #25 in an almost edward vs jacob type battle of cool brooding boy and average mcfamily man. he was a big fav

#672. number #487s sister! usually either helped him get #11 like a wingman, or i’d flip the cards and make her manipulative and sabotage 11 bc she didnt think she was good enough for her brother. the personality switches id give characters were rly like. getting the bad ending in a video game,

#44. YET ANOTHER,, LOVE INTEREST FOR THAT ONE CAT,,,, but it was one sided and he always lost. poor friend zone ass simp im sorry man idk why you deserved that 😔 i think sometimes though id pair him with #200/hannah at the end. cant get the girl date her best friend idk i was 8 my morals were not always applicable to the adult situations i created

#14. SO I,,,, i ended up with three of these. and in the end i made them triplets that performed for the circus and were unhappy in their life of exploitation. i think sometimes they would. form a sui pact to escape their torment.

#137. HIS NAME WAS FUCKEN CHEESE

Groovy goat / unnumbered. I remember she was spanish to me but spoke mostly english, this decision was made bc i was an extremely white american child, and she was almost always involved somehow in a story bc she was my favorite design ever. anyways she usually was a model that would give a struggling lps a ‘makeover’ like that one scene in any dramatic disney live action film ever made

#464. another fav bc of her design omg. she was like a little sweetheart and would often play the role of ‘baby’ for any species i didnt already have designated ‘babies’ for. BUT, when i’d play with the other hamsters (we’ll get 2 them in a sec), i made them all the same age and theyd all crush on her at the same time lmao the DRAMA

#34, #35, #36. they were brothers and in order from left to right;;; biggest brother and a leader+positive role model, then the punkish middle brother that didnt like to listen and would often get them all in trouble, then the youngest nerdy brother that was naive and soft and did w/e he was told. they stuck together thru all their antics, except when #464 was involved, then theyd have a classic ‘fighting over a girl then realizing thats ridiculous’ arc. rly loved these guys cuz i always wanted a hamster so id pretend they were real animals sometimes too loL

#693. i got thsi in a mcdonalds happy meal but anyways she was a princess/queen/whatever and was very spoiled royalty. probably tried to behead some of the other lps idk. all she wanted was drama and money

#112. punk boy,,, usually paired with one of the ‘popular’ girls,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, oh my god did i government assign this dog duncan kin b4 td even existed yet

#48, #79 #42. !! HUGE FUCKEN BITCH ALERT !! (popular girls trio lol), i think a couple times i like, aged down #11 and got rid of the kitten for a ~highschool au~ where these girls bullied her but she ofc ended up stealing the middle ones man. and then other times i just paired the middle girl with #112 in a genuine ‘opposites attract’ ship . where were u guys when i was making duncney lps a thing tbh

#59. i love this guy but he was just an eccentric dork and mostly used for comedic effect

#43. love interest for #59 that he goofily fawned over till he eventually got the girl at the end of every story bc i loved cliches

#673. usually a mysterious adventurous girl from out of town that meets the mains in my story and befriends them/helps them out. also a close friend of the groovy goat character

“Paws off diary” Bull Terrier. ok this ones weird but he came in this lil electronic diary right (you can google how it looks to see what i mean) and there was this like, plastic bubble on top that he came in and you could stick him or any other lps in there and shut it securely cuz it was a diary so i. used it as like. a prison almost where id trap lps and the other characters had to ‘save’ them like they were rescuing a princess from a tower or smth. but it was usually just this lil guy. also he was given a name but i was kinda cheating skjdfsdf it was, “Max” bc that was always his name in the commercials for the diary--

#646 and #647, twin orphans separated at birth. did a lot of princess and the pauper esque ‘long lost siblings from different worlds’ reunion stories with these two

#94. so this one came with a head bandage and a little medical looking case to carry them in. i used the carry case as like an ‘ambulance’ or med helicopter to put ‘sick’ pets in and carry them to the hospital, and this pet had chronic illness so they were always the roommate patient at the lps hospital.

#10 and #142, the goldfish couldnt be taken out of the bowl if i remember correctly so. he felt sad and isolated but the seahorse was his best friend who was able to go anywhere so id stick him in the bowl with him a lot to hang out n make him feel better. solidarity

#463. i LOVED her design, so i used her a lot as just a friend to whoever i was playing with. she was also one of the bigger birds so shes the only one i remember really utilizing as a ‘this character can literally fly’ plot device. she also might have been magic i dont remember. ik whenever i did the circus story she was always in it

#37, #38 and #39. i lost the ‘girl’ one early on, like completely lost it and never found it again so idk what happened to it. so the story was the other two were brothers in a constant search for their long lost sister. sometimes id either have another lps be their sister or make a ‘found family’ trope out of somebody

#331. i had two of these and they come with little hats but i lost one of the hats so. evil twin story babey the regular one was a nice old pirate guy but the one with the hat was evil and nobody could ever tell the difference

#641, IM THE TRASH MAN! I START EATIN GARBAGE,

[my-fanfic-library]

Something Different {BBC Dracula x Reader} [24]

Masterlist

[F/N] = father’s name

[B/N] = brother’s name

~^*^~

You tugged open a drawer, pulling out some underwear, before moving down a drawer to pull out some clothes that you always kept here in case you were forced to stay (like last night). Your body was sore, especially your stomach.

On the bed, Dracula was watching you as you dressed, loving the way the golden light hit your body and licked you in an angelic hue. The side of the bed that you had slept on was cooling quickly and Dracula hated the feeling of you slipping away. If you weren’t already worrying about what your parents were going to say when you dared to venture downstairs, he’d most definitely have you back in his arms. He eyed the wall. He would love to ram you up against it, make you squirm beneath him. Maybe throw you up so that your heat was in line with his face, legs wrapped around his head, back against the wall.

“Drac,” your voice broke his thoughts and he looked over at you, in just a pair of black lacy thongs and matching bra, “stop drooling, you’re soaking the sheets.” You winked.

“I believe the person who quite literally soaked the sheets was you.” It was his turn to smirk.

“Yeah but...” you trailed off, flushing, “get dressed.” You hissed in embarrassment. 

Dracula chuckled, pushing himself up to follow your orders. He knew you were already freaking out, he didn’t want to stress you any more. Within minutes, you were both dressed and you were staring at the door. Dear god, you were certain that the whole of London had heard you last night.

~^*^~

You sat opposite your mother, hands in your lap as she glowered at you. Dracula was sitting besides you, opposite your father who was lighting a cigarette.

The tension swirled in the air.

“You not hungry, Drac?” Your father spoke, breathing out a cloud of white. He pointed to the plate with an untouched full English.

“I’m afraid I’ve lost my appetite this morning, I’ve already eaten.” Dracula smiled politely and you shot him a look. When had he snuck out?

“What? After all of your strenuous activity from last night?” You gawked at your father. He had that look on his face that you knew all too well. He was doing this to get a rise out of your mother.

“[F/N]!” She shrieked.

“What?” Your father shrugged, taking another drag. Dracula smirked, “I’m just saying. If I’d been that busy, I’d be eating like a pig.”

“You are a pig.” She grumbled, “I cant believe you [First]!” And he had started her off... you shot your father look, “Doreen three doors down heard you! Not to mention you kicking poor Chelsea to the curb like that!”

“She had it coming.” You muttered.

“She did not ‘have it coming’!” Her face was turning purple as you started to sulk at her outburst, “she was only being nice!”

“Mother, being nice is laughing at a joke or asking if somebody has a pet! Not climbing all over them when you know they’re in a relationship!” You snapped back, narrowing your eyes. Both men were watching, very clearly enjoying the commotion.

“You didn’t need to do that to her! Oh my goodness, what are the wives going to be saying about this?” She dramatically put her hand to her face.

“Oh, you just worry about the gossip, eh?!” You slammed your hands down on to the table, “don’t worry about how your own damn daughter feels about some bitch trying to sleep with her boyfriend!”

“[First].” Your father said sternly, “don’t swear at your mother. And don’t hit the table, it’s real mahogany. None of that veneer shit.”

“You just worry about your table, [F/N]! Don’t worry about your poor old wife being abused by her only daughter!” Your mother cried out, in hysterics all of a sudden.

“I just told her! What else do you want me to do?” Your father defended.

“My god, I liked that Daniel fellow more than this...” your mother whispered.

“Mother, I had sex with Daniel in your bed when you went to Tenerife for two weeks. We also had sex on your porch swing, which is how it broke!”

Your father and Dracula had to conceal their fits of laughter at your confession and your mother’s subsequent shock that followed. A high-pitched sound of distress came from her ajar mouth.

“I KNEW IT WASN’T MRS. DENNINGS’ CAT!”

“Oh, and another thing - I don’t give a damn who heard me last night! I don’t care if all of London heard me because I love him-“ you pointed to Dracula, “and if I want to scream and cry at the way he makes me feel in the privacy of my own bedroom, then I will!”

Now, bearing in mind that Dracula hadn’t really felt anything in around 473 years (the length of time it had been since his heart had last beat), the way that you defended yourself by screaming for the whole street to hear that you loved him-. Well, there was a pang of something in his chest and the need to be as close to you as physically possible grew exponentially. You really were something different. Falling in love with a vampire, disobeying your own mother, working for an organisation that is definitley doing different to what it says on paper, yet the whole time regaining your innocence and your goodness. Your emotions wrapping you up and controlling almost every single thing that you did. You loved him - and he was certain that he loved you even more.

“[First] [Last]!” She cried out, face almost bulging in her despair, “how could you do this to me?! I’m going to be the topic of all of their gossip for weeks!”

“I don’t care! And neither should you! It’s gossip! Half of it isn’t even true!”

“How could you say that?! Barbra heard from Clarissa last week that Jenny has some man on the side and Sally has photo evidence!”

“That’s her cousin, mother!” You cried out, frustration filling your body. How someone could be so hung up on all of this trivial stuff was beyond you.

“Still! Everyone is going to be talking my daughter - the savage who beat poor Chelsea to the street and then who screamed the street down having angry sex afterwards with a man her father’s age!” You could tell that she was getting worked up and you sighed.

“Right. If you are going to dwell on this, then I am going to get up, walk out of that front door and you can consider yourself childless.” Her jaw dropped.

“[First].” Your father warned sternly.

“I’ve completely had it with you, now, worrying over everything everyone says about everyone else. They’ve twisted your mind so much that you’d actually try and control your adult daughter? You’re just upset that I wouldn’t go with Mark, but he’s a creep. He takes pictures up women’s skirts and goes to bars to hit on literal teenagers. And if you can’t accept that I am with Dracula, the man that I love, and you would rather worry over all the gossip that comes from it, then I am done and you can just have your son in Thailand who hasn’t been bothered to call in four years instead of your daughter who moved down the street just to be near you. I can’t take this anymore.”

“[First] [Last] will you get a grip of yourself?” Your father spoke lowly, tapping his cigarette onto the empty plate to rid some of the ash.

“You won’t leave me.” Your mother whispered, “you can’t. Because you know you’ll need me when he gets bored of you.”

Snap.

“Fuck you.”

You rose, glaring at her in a thousand ways. Your heart throttled in your chest. Now she’d done it. You knew that she loved you. Of course she did, but she would never let things go. She had always critiqued both your brother and yourself with every choice the pair of you made, but ever since your brother had left, she’d began to spend nearly all her time with the wives gossiping. She had become a tyrant and it was eating you up. You were tired of her constant criticism. You were tired of having to live to appease her friends. You weren’t doing it anymore.

“This is why [B/N] left.” You sneered, “because of you. Because he was in love with Kannika but you just wouldn’t stop trying to force him into a way of life to appease your friends. But not me, I won’t do it. Now I’m gonna go grab my shit. If I haven’t got a sincere apology from you before I open that front door, I am gone. Just like [B/N].” Your mother was staring at you in horror, tears in her eyes. Now your father was looking at your sharply.

You turned, fleeing the room and storming up the stairs. It only took a moment for the door to shut behind you and for Dracula to be blocking it once more. Once your dress was bundled in your arms, you turned to look at him.

“Move.” You growled.

“[First], you don’t want to do this.” He spoke softly.

“Yes I do. Now move so that I can teach her a lesson.”

“No matter your age, it isn’t a child’s place to teach their parents a lesson.”

“What? So you’re just gonna let her talk about us like that? Like we’re some freaky couple or something? No, move.” Now it was him that you were glaring at.

“[First], this is your mother. You don’t want to cut her out.”

“Very clearly I do. Move!” You bellowed.

“I am not moving. You are going to sort this out.” His voice darkened with his growing anger.

“Oh, I am, am I?”

“Yes.”

“And since when did you become the boss of me, huh? Being your girlfriend doesn’t make me your property, Dracula.” Your eyes narrowed. Now you were trying to pick a fight with him, too. He knew that you didn’t mean it but he couldn’t help the anger bubbling in his gut. You were being a brat.

“I am being serious. You need to calm yourself down, recollect your mind and go downstairs and have a civil conversation with your mother.”

“Alright. You go back down. I’ll calm down and meet you down there.”

Like fuck you were. Dracula, wanting to believe with every fibre of his being that you wouldn’t flee, gave you all of his trust and left the room. You were so gone with the anger. It hadn’t really settled down since last night. Grabbing your bag that you had brought last night, making sure your phone was in, you pulled out a backpack from your wardrobe and stuffed it inside, along with your dress and both of your shoes. Dracula had retrieved the one you threw at Chelsea - most likely when he went out to eat whilst you were sleeping.

And then you did something that you hadn’t done since you were seventeen years of age.

Clambering onto the bed, you tugged your backpack on and drew up the blinds to free the glass of the window. It was unlocked, and you pushed it open. You swung your leg over it was maybe only a foot away from the roof of the extended front, and you lowered yourself down. Carefully, you manuvered over the tiles, so that you could drop down by the front door, instead of the large window which would give you away.

Were you really going to do this? You had no idea what Dracula would do when he found you gone and the window open. You knew that this would break your parents’ hearts. You knew that Doreen three doors down would tell the whole city that you had fled your own home in the morning. You had to do this. Enough was enough.

Your feet hit the path, the pressure of dropping spreading through your legs. You turned and rushed to the gate. When you made it to the fence, you ducked down and waddled in a squat so that they wouldn’t see you rushing past.

“She’s going to calm down and then apologise.” Dracula explained to your mother, who was in genuine tears at the thought of both of her children leaving her in anger.

“She’s not.” Your father spoke.

“I’ve just spoken to her-“ Dracula began, but your father cut him off.

“I’ve just seen her run down the front path.” He lit another cigarette as he spoke.

Another pang of something hit Dracula in the chest. This one was painful. He ran to the door, skidding as he did so and rushed out. He caught a glimpse of you turning the corner.

“[FIRST]!” He made a dash for you. But once he reached the corner and began to sprint down the road, he realised that you had disappeared, “I’m going to kill her.” He whispered, feeling an intense wave of pain in his chest - something that hadn’t occurred in almost five centuries.

~^*^~

You sat across from Jack. You were still angry, but for his sake, you decided to just calm yourself. A cup of hot coffee sat steaming in front of you. The scent wafted into your nostrils and you sighed.

“Rough night?” Jack teased. You guessed he had heard some of your night with the Count.

“Rough morning. I climbed out of the window. My mother’s’ furious with me and she can go fuck herself.” You grumbled.

“What did you expect? She’s been trying to set you up with Mark for the better part of ten years and you waltz in with someone definitely not approved.”

“I didn’t realise a 26 year old needed her mother’s permssion to date.” There was a pause, “let’s not talk about it-“ your phone buzzing cut your off. You dug it out of your bag.

Dracula.

You switched off your phone and turned your attention back to Jack.

“What is it that you wanted to say?”

“I mean, I needed both of you here, to be honest...” he trailled off.

“Dracula doesn’t matter. Just tell me.”

“Alright. So, you know his lawyer, Renfield?”

“Yeah?”

“Well he told me what happened at the apartment. When he fought Dracula over you...”

“Right...?”

“He came to Robin Hood’s Bay, expecting you to have fled there. He’s totally gone beserk, [First]. He’s trying to track you down.” Your heart began to falter.

“What do mean he’s trying to track me down? What does he want with me?” The horror beginning to lace your words was drowning your tone and you began to rut your leg up and down under the table.

“He’s a vampire, [First]. He wants your blood. Specifically yours.”

You completely froze up. This was it. You couldn’t outrun a vampire, you knew that from Dracula. One way or another, he would find you, and eventually, so would Renfield. Essentially, Jack had come to tell you that you were sooner (much rather than later), going to die.

“What- I-... what are we-? What am I gonna do?!” You whispered in a panic.

“I don’t know. Do you think you could get to [B/N] anytime soon?”

“He’d find me, wouldn’t he? All he’d have to do is find out where my brother is and he’d find a way to get to Thailand.”

“Alright, well, is there anyone else that you could stay with?”

“...no...” you whispered.

Jack bit his lip in thought. An idea occurred to him. He knew that it would work. The only problem, of course, would be you. Making you agree to it would be so difficult.

“Why don’t you stay with Daniel for a while?”

You began to laugh at his words, after an initial pause of “what the fuck”.

“Yeah, right!”

“I’m serious. Literally no one would think about you going there.”

“Yeah, I’m being hunted by the most dangerous creature to exist, let me just go suffer for the last few days of my life by spending them with my cheating ex.”

~^*^~

You glared into the familiar emerald orbs, loathing the hand on your shoulder that forced you through the threshold of the apartment. You stepped away from the touch, looking around. It was small and cozy, quite homely. Clearly there had been a downgrade after you had left.

He looked at you, and then at Jack. Jack had never been so serious in all of their years of friendship, and he thought that he’d never see you again. He took in the sight of you. You had gone through your final change of adulthood during your split, your face maturing one last time, leaving you looking even more beautiful than the last time he had seen you. You had grown just a little taller, almost matching his height now.

Stepping backwards, he sat down on one of his two sofas and motioned for you to sit. Jack steered you towards the material and forced you down like a disobedient dog.

“What can I do for you?”

It was the first time had spoken a full sentence since that day and you remembered his voice speaking all sorts of things to you. Jack rummaged in your bag. He was about to do something that he knew would break your heart. He had to. Your safety was number one priority.

“She needs to stay here for a while.” Jack explained, pulling your phone from the bottom of your back and switching it back on.

“Why?” He leaned forwards. His hair had grown quite a bit and the blond locks fell into his eyes a little.

“It’s a long story, and you won’t believe it. So all you need to know is that someone dangerous is after her. She needs to be kept safe.”

You couldn’t speak. Your heart was pounding in your ears. You were shaking a little. Ever since you had ran away from this city, from this very person sitting in front of you, you had forced your heart back together without getting closure on the pain. Right now, it felt almost as raw as it had done. You could be married to him right now. None of this would be happening. You could be a mother, with a house and a loving husband. Yet you weren’t. You were here, sitting across from the man you had fled from, fleeing from a monster who wanted to kill you.

“She can stay.” He spoke, unable to take his eyes from you. It had been so long.

“Thank you, Daniel. I’ll pay you for extra food and stuff.”

“I’m not a pet.” You growled to Jack.

“No one said you were.” Daniel answered for him.

You couldn’t reply. You didn’t really care what Jack was doing on your phone. Maybe you would have if you had looked over.

[DraccyBoifriend: where are you?]

[DraccyBoifriend: come back.]

[DraccyBoifriend: you need to sort this out.]

[DraccyBoifriend: [First]. Please.]

[DraccyBoifriend: 6 Missed Calls]

[You: it’s over. we’re through.]

~^taglist^~

@vampiregirl1797 @avalanet @bunnyreese12 @nerdonpluto @teamceleries @grifffins @hitbythunder @winterseoul @mymagicsuitcase @angeli-fucking-cat @benedictethegoddess @bloodhon3yx @nifflersravenclaw @writteninthestars288 @labelladrama @frankcastlesgrunts @angelicdestieldemon @quakerlasss @aliisa-jones @wolverinexmenn @clairedragonessbaker @cryiner @mitsukatsu @piratewhore @your-pixels-are-showing @tardisnesss @ladydovahkiin180 @catwomom @god-of-dramatic-death-scenes @th3rah @viper-queen @mephdcosplay @greghouse7 @faeprinces @kokoro-no-yami @trishaferdream @therealmoni @crazytxgradstudent @sansthelonelypunster @crowley-needs-a-hug @girlonfireice @wasntpriscilla @ivanna6026 @savebensolo-ordie

[aquagenesis]

i cant stop talking about seifer.

like i just don’t understand, in everything it’s emphasized that seifer is the parallel to squall.  the game opens up and everyone and their mother is telling squall he doesn’t care, he’s cold, he’s abrasive.  zell and selphie specifically comment on how rude he is; when he goes after rinoa following their inability to get into the broadcast station one of them tells him to back off because he’s going too far.  cid tells him strength isn’t enough to be a SeeD.  laguna is another parallel to squall (as his father) because while laguna throws himself into things because he thinks he’s doing the right thing, squall holds back and would rather criticize others for not doing enough.  laguna has kiros and ward, seifer has raijin and fujin, neither of which are “worse” than seifer.  both friendships involve the “friends” supporting their main character friend wholeheartedly and consistently being worried over them.  raijin and fujin don’t accept seifer would be executed and are the only ones to bother to go looking for him, out of concern for what he might be experiencing alone.  when seifer turns away from them it hurts them because they just want him to come back and abandon garden and everything together, because seifer has never been one to obey authority and now he IS.  even though laguna gets them lost in esthar and ward loses his voice entirely, ward and kiros spend their last (known) minutes apologizing to laguna for not being able to keep traveling with him.

everyone else in the game who isn’t just A Party Member and is otherwise observed to be “fine” has people they are friends with and close with.  squall doesn’t.  he’s an outsider and when people attempt to be friends with him, he shuts them out.  the only other party members who don’t have anyone are irvine and quistis; irvine is alone because of some heartbreaker sniper garbage (you’re a womanizer OH) and quistis is alone because she can’t connect with her peers due to being an instructor of people not much younger than her but too young to be close to more mature faculty.

squall intentionally goes after people about things he thinks they should be insecure about and gets angry when they don’t “realize” what they’re doing that’s wrong.  squall falls into the same Toxic Masculinity/Don’t Idolize This category that characters like rick sanchez and walter white fall into, where they’re successful but for all the wrong reasons.  rinoa is like eighteen and she was born into a galbadia-occupied world where resistance members are being tried and persecuted for trying to get timber’s independence which was taken from them.  squall takes her inability to know what to do when she SAYS she never imagined they’d be able to get this far as an individual fault, never apologizes, and it’s written off as “well she needs to learn how to do whatever” when in reality squall had no right to talk to her like that.  because she’s right; he just blindly follows orders and puts himself on a pedestal of moral superiority because “he isn’t the one who messed up”, because he doesn’t DO anything he’d have to take personal responsibility for.  he tells rinoa what she SHOULD be doing and then when she’s like “oh really?  okay i’ll go with that” because he has combat experience and training he takes that opportunity to rip into her because “she can’t make decisions on her own”.

rinoa specifically goes through a LOT of shit because squall refuses to make the first move for the majority of the game.  rinoa is always the one who steps in to protect squall and squall has nothing to say but criticism because “she should have let him die.  she should have carried out the mission”.  seifer steps in to protect squall and instead of respecting his memory squall decides to make it about his existential crisis rather than the fact his classmate who tried to save his ass was executed.

and this would be fine; seifer is allowed to have negative character development.  but seifer never receives sympathy or empathy for the fact he was brainwashed and taken away from everyone.  seifer broke the rules of garden and everything for the sake of protecting people he didn’t think would be able to make it out alive.  seifer says, “they’re gonna get killed if they wind up against the whole galbadian army” because cid dispatched 3 new SeeD members into a situation he knew was far graver than “heehee just free timber” as though it would be so easy.  seifer knew garden was a sham from the beginning and even when the narrative flips to say “yeah garden is actually the worst thing”, it’s not “oh shit!  we were after the wrong guy!” it’s “well seifer should have done a better job of relaying that information”.

seifer knew squall wasn’t ready to be a SeeD.  seifer knew SeeD was basically a pass to do whatever you wanted.  seifer knew making squall the leader of a squad when he’s insufferable and difficult was a bad idea.  seifer told zell so many times to be quiet even before he threatened the president and because zell was so caught up on “god i fucking hate that guy” he led to seifer being brainwashed and the war getting more tense.

edea knew if quistis or anyone else would be able to talk to seifer the brainwashing wouldn’t work; that’s why she incapacitated quistis when she ran in on the scene.  seifer was taken advantage of against his will and then had literally no way of getting away; his “romantic dream” was with rinoa, not being edea’s “knight” or whatever.  the fact squall had the audacity to call him a lapdog and whatever else is just so fucking stupid because the game confirms brainwashing was happening.  squall has a massive fucking ego problem and he isn’t forced to come to terms with it until the world is literally ending and him and rinoa almost die in fucking space.  rinoa girl you deserve so much better than a man you need to teach compassion.

like it’s not even inherently bad final fantasy had a protagonist who was entirely self-serving because yeah squall does eventually learn he’s a fucking dick.  no wonder you’re worried about being a memory because what the fuck would anyone say about you.  seifer got called heroic and noble and it drove squall so crazy because it was all retrospective he stormed out of the room screaming “I WON’T BE A MEMORY” which is so fucking tasteless.  quistis is looking for just friendly support because she was demoted because of seifer and squall and squall tells her “well other peoples’ problems aren’t mine”.  squall finds out rinoa might have been looking for seifer and he really gets so worked up until he finds out she was looking for cid at the party, but then gets mad again because seifer introduced them.  but it just doesn’t make sense to have the antagonist be the parallel of someone self-serving.

like don’t even get me started on the fact that like, squall and rinoa wound up being together in the end, because yeah rinoa deserved better than squall.  she deserved better than to have her boyfriend who she was in love with dangled in front of her with no way to get him back.  she deserved better than to have to fight someone she loved for her life because her boyfriend was taken from her because of some stupid “preserve the garden!” agenda when garden didn’t take her seriously until seifer introduced her to cid.  rinoa had no obligation to stay with squall outside of he was assigned to her and he treated her like shit for so long.  she wanted seifer to be with her because seifer gave her courage and made her feel like she could do anything.  instead she had to help squall through several character arcs because “she needs to stand up for herself” or whatever and it’s like, your boyfriend SHOULD be giving you hope that you can do what you want to.  it’s not a bad thing seifer’s the one who gave her that.  she didn’t “rely” on seifer, he was strong and self-assured but canonically hates pity so he would not “pity” her.

and like as far as i remember and am playing, squall doesn’t even hate seifer.  he thinks he’s a dick and full of himself but boy are you sure calling the kettle black.  seifer didn’t respect quistis because she was a coward and relied on her role as “instructor” to berate and punish him.  that’s part of the reason she was demoted, because she couldn’t be fair.  seifer never missed and that’s why they had to shove him into the antagonist role, because they needed to take away the person squall was living in the shadow of for him to realize HE was the problem and not everyone else.

if seifer had been on the mission to assassinate the president they never would’ve gotten on the damn train because he would’ve been smart enough to say “hey rinoa if this is such public information i don’t think he’s gonna be on the train, let’s not put all of our energy into this as the main plan”.  squall went along with it and then got nasty because it didn’t work.  squall single-handedly let everything get so fucking bad because he was too scared to maybe be “wrong”.  he’s lucky so many other people were willing to go down for him to succeed like very genuinely because if i was on that boy’s team call me the next seifer almasy.

[nabtime]

Hold My Broken Hands, Ignite My Burning Heart

1h27min/25 songs that make me think of Tododeku in different ways 

Fire - Diskopunk // Out of My League - Fitz and The Tantrums // Aawake at Night - halfalive // Bad Liar - Selena Gomez  // Collide - Howie Day // Falling For U - Peachy!, mxmtoon // Crush - Tessa Violet // Would You Be So Kind - dodie // Please Notice - Christian Leave // I See You - MISSIO // Talk Too Much - COIN // Tongue Tied - Grouplove // When the Day Met the Night - Panic! at the Disco // First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes // Home to You - Sigrid // Fall On Me - A Great Big World // Grow As We Go - Ben Platt // Two - Sleeping at Last // High Hope - Patrick Droney // Talk to Me - Cavetown // Sunkissed - khai dreams // I Do Adore - Mindy Gledhill // Pink in the Night - Mitski // Laundry Room - The Avett Brothers // Brand New Day - Kodaline 

explanations for song choice under the cut ! its looooong

Fire - “When I saw you a fire / Started in my heart / I looked at you again / Yeah, you've burned from the start” 

Every tododeku fic youve ever read has a moment like this or a moment similar. izuku has to light shouto on fire either metaphorically or literally. “It’s your power, isn’t it?” This song is for that. its about a spark that ignites between them, whatever the catalyst, and sets the world around them ablaze (wonder, gratitude, amazement, relief, an all-encompassing light and bubbly feeling that leaves them stunned and in love)

Out of My League -  “You were out of my league / Got my heartbeat racing / If I die, don't wake me / 'Cause you are more than just a dream”

both of these idiots, at one point or another, think that the other one is out of their league. Izuku is far too cute and personable and an over all sunshine beacon and obviously he is far too good of a person to ever be in Todoroki’s league and Todoroki is far too beautiful and composed and an over all competent badass to ever be in Midoriya’s league 

Aawake at Night -  “ Alone in a crowded room / My eyes will search for you / Abandoned by my company / I'll search for what's in front of me / And hope that I find something new”

a tribute to those fics where Midoriya and Todoroki meet at a party. where they lock eyes and everything begins from there bc damn if they hadn’t just spotted the hottest person theyd ever seen. its about those fics where theyre both awkward wallflowers finding solidarity in not wanting to be at this party that their friends dragged them and abandoned them in

Collide - “ I'm open, you're closed / Where I follow, you'll go / I worry I won't see your face / Light up again / Even the best fall down sometimes / Even the wrong words seem to rhyme / Out of the doubt that fills my mind / I somehow find / You and I collide”

what is this an early 20s comedy show that has its surprisingly deep/romantic subplot moments? absolutely and there’s noting you can do about it. its about Midoriya punching Todoroki with friendship and then showing him via the dekusquad how to be a person and that friendship slowly evolving into love. its about Midoriya being fumbling and awkward sometimes bc this is the first time hes ever had friends or a crush that he actually talks to?? on a regular basis?? and even though getting together is a clumsy mess they still come together

Bad Liar - “ Oh I'm tryin' /  Not to think about you /  With my feelings on fire / Guess I'm a bad liar “

Theyre gay and trying to repress their feelings and thankfully its not really working out for them. its about the boys trying so so hard to not be in love with the other for whatever reasons the fic has (he’s my best friend and i dont wanna ruin it, obviously he doesnt like me like that, my father would kill him, etc etc) and failing miserably. 

Falling For U - “ I didn't wanna believe my feelings for you / I didn't wanna believe that I could lose you / If I told you just how I felt “

Gay repression and mutual pining take 2 ! but also including That Moment when oh everything comes together and oh my goodness im in love ?? and Midoriya cant believe the world is crashing down around him and Todoroki has set himself on fire and theyre both so dense and suffering from so much emotional trauma but here they are, in love. 

Crush - “  You make it difficult to not overthink / And when I'm with you I turn all shades of pink, ah / I wanna touch you but don't wanna be weird / It's such a rush, I'm thinking wish you were here, ah-ahh “

doesnt matter when the fic is set, if theyre teenagers or adults, these boys are the epitome of puppy love crushes and blushes and fumbled awkward words and gestures and not quite knowing what to do with their feelings and theyre both so anxious about and its always such a relief to find out that its all mutual but still, having that crush is always like being hit over the head with affection

Would You Be So Kind - “ Oh would you be / So kind / As to fall in love with me, you see / I'm trying / I know you know that I like you / But that's not enough / So if you will / Please fall in love “

oooo its about that sweet sweet mutual pining that they both thing will forever remain unrequited and that yearning for the other to love just as much as them. its about the boys falling into daydreams about what it would be like if their feelings were mutual. its about that first fumbling confession maybe where its either todoroki being blunt or midoriya finally scraping together his courage and always always saying “its okay if you dont feel the same, we can forget this and still be friends, but i need you to know...” and its about hoping, hoping so much, that they wont stay friends and that maybe, if the other takes the chance, he’ll fall in love too (even tho he’s already there) its about skirting the edge of friendship and pushing boundaries into the romantic hoping that it sparks something (even tho it already has) its about fake dating with a crush and never demanding that the other not fall in love (bc maybe theres hope)

Please Notice - “ Do you know how in love with you / I am / Do you see how in love with you / I am / Every thing that you do, it makes my heart stop / Oh, it stops / And baby when you sleep, do you dream of me? “

its about that hope again. its about midoriya staying up so late at night overthinking everything hes ever done and wondering if todoroki is just humoring him bc his crush on the other is just so so obvious and it feels so awful to know that hes so obvious and todoroki is just playing along and he wonders if todoroki really knows how much he loves him. its about todoroki in his own room, worrying about the same thing. its about noticing the little things about each other. its about already knowing a whole host of secrets and knowing its okay to trust themselves to the other. its about midoriya noticing everything about todoroki and detailing all his little ticks and favorite things in his notebooks and hoping that todoroki notices just as many things about him, wanting the other to feel the same depth of feelings. its about todoroki becoming more and more emotionally aware (heroes can cry too) and noticing everything about midoriya and thinking hes just cataloging everything he’d need to take down a rival but do you really need to know all of someones different smiles in order to fight them?

I See You - “ I'm alone with you / You're alone with me / And I'm hoping that you will see yourself / Like I see you / Yes, I see you “

its about mutually loving each other even in the hard times, even in the sad times. its about that sweet sweet hurt/comfort that the both of them inevitably have to have bc of the trauma each of them have faced either in their childhood or together as heroes. its about being able to see through the masks that they both have whether it be a stoic one or a smile. its about hoping that the other will see their own inherent worth past their hurting and understand why they love them. its about hoping the other will see how much they love them 

Talk Too Much - “ You know I talk too much / Honey, come put your lips on mine and shut me up / We could blame it all on human nature / Stay cool, it's just a kiss / Oh, why you gotta be so talkative? / I talk too much, we talk too much “

a cute and silly song about midoriya being overly talkative bc hes a little chatterbox and we all know that todoroki loves it but sometimes it get a little frustrating when he wants kisses instead of the fifty-third rant about all mights golden age costume design (really todo it was a brilliantly done color scheme and- and the symbolism!) and maybe sometimes even midoriya would rather be kissing than talking too

Tongue Tied - “ I loved you then and I love you now / Oh yeah / Don't take me tongue tied / Don't wave no goodbye “

kinda debated about whether or not this one fit enough to keep but its a bop so it stays. its mostly the tongue tied part of the lyrics that apply bc both the boys get a little mixed up and tongue tied when it comes to talking to each other when theyre in love and crushing hard ( mostly midoriya but todoroki too) 

When the Day Met the Night - “  When the moon fell in love with the sun / All was golden in the sky / All was golden when the day met the night “

do i really need to day more than sun and moon motif tododeku? its about izuku bringing warmth back to shoutos life and shouto being a steady gentle presence for izuku. its about izuku being able to light up a room and shouto being full of radiant grace and the two coming together as opposites in harmony 

First Day of My Life - “  Yours was the first face that I saw / I think I was blind before I met you / And I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been / But I know where I want to go / And so I'd thought I'd let you know / Yeah, these things take forever, I especially am slow / But I realized that I need you / And I wondered if I could come home “

we’re getting into the really mushy gushy songs that make me sigh like a lovelorn maiden or something. i love this one for tododeku especially with the sports festival in mind as a sort of awakening. like shouto had only just realized what it was like to fully live for himself bc of izuku. izuku really opened up a path for him and guided him out of his misery into a brand new life full of acceptance and love. and shouto was there to return that love tenfold to izuku who hadnt really ever felt such devotion before. its about finally realizing that they can be so good together. its about wanting to come home to each other 

Home to You - “  But I see the world so different now / But there's a place by the sea and that's my town / When I don't know what to say / When I don't know what to do / There's a room I need to sit in / Surrounded by my favorite view / When I need a hand to hold / Someone to tell the truth / Would it be okay if I came home to you? “

One of my favorite ooey gooey songs about coming home and finding solace in another, which is just so perfect for tododeku. i love it when shouto feels like izuku is his home. that hes never felt like he truly belonged anywhere before he started belonging in izukus arms, holding his hand, and loving him. i feel like they would be good for settling each others doubts and fears. izuku worries that hes not good enough, that he needs to do more in whatever hes doing, that he will once again be found useless. but shouto is no nonsense enough to tell him straight that hes enough, hes wonderful, and already does so so much that its astounding and izuku cant help but to believe him. and when shouto starts to think hes like his father too much in the wrong way, starting to doubt is path in life, or thinks that his trauma makes him too difficult to deal with. but izuku is far too open and loving and shouto knows hes far too good to ever let shouto be what he fears most and izuku is there to remind him of all the good things hes done to earn that love. its about both of them being emotionally repressed in different ways and not knowing what to do or what to say but finding a way to communicate with each other anyway. 

Fall On Me - “  Fly like a cannonball straight to my soul / Tear me to pieces and make me feel whole / I'm willing to fight for it / To feel something new / To know what it's like to be sharing a space with you “

there can be a lot of challenges for the boys depending on the setting their relationship takes place in; shouto’s father always plays a role, kacchans attitude whether a constant interference or a ghost of izuku’s past, acceptance from the outside world, acceptance from friends and family, power imbalance (shoutos a prince and izukus a servant/knight/random adventurer) and a whole host of fic specific issues. this is about falling in love with each other despite them all, this is about begging each other to fall despite the dangers, this is about fighting to be together anyway. this is about finding an impossible love that shocks your soul and embracing it with all your heart.  

Grow As We Go - “  I don't know who we'll become / I can't promise it's not written in the stars / But I believe that when it's done / We're gonna see that it was better / That we grew up together / Tell me you don't wanna leave / 'Cause if change is what you need / You can change right next to me / When you're high, I'll take the lows / You can ebb and I can flow / We'll take it slow / And grow as we go “

you know some of those fics that hurt good bc mostly izuku but sometimes also shouto decide that their hero careers need to come first and that having a relationship would only interfere with that despite the fact that they love each other a lot? this is the song that plays when they realize that’s not true and come together and decide to be together anyway and that theyll be stronger for it. its about growing together as a couple as well as separately and still loving each other even through the changes. its about rising through the ranks together. learning about the world, together. and its about taking on any challenge thrown at them. together. growing, changing, loving.

Two - “  I know exactly how the rule goes / Put my mask on first / No, I don't want to talk about myself / Tell me where it hurts / I just want to build you up, build you up / 'Til you're good as new / And maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too / Like a force to be reckoned with / A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss / I will love you with every single thing I have / Like a tidal wave, I'll make a mess / Or calm waters, if that serves you best / I will love you without any strings attached “

listen listen this song is so so so good for tododeku like look at those lyrics i just wanna cry about it. its about highlighting the flaws that can happen in their relationship when theyre both trying to fix the other more than to help themselves (especially izuku like baby boy please) its about making the promise to love each other unconditionally bc neither have really had that before outside of their moms? (and shoutos sibs) love without strings attached (doesnt matter if you were quirkless, doesnt matter if youre not the number one hero, doesnt matter that youve been through so much trauma ill help you and love you anyway) both of them striving to be the best fit for the other either a tidal wave or calm waters, eaither righteous fury or gentle love and its about just being so so thankful that they love each other even through the hard times

High Hope - “  Know you're coming from a bad place / Honey, I was there just yesterday / So I know the time it's gonna take / For you to feel like you again / And I'll be here if you need me / If you don't, just know / I've got a high, high, high, high hope “

this about past trauma and shared trauma and healing both on their own and together and knowing their relationship can weather through it all. this is about izuku comforting shouto through everything about his father and his family and the feelings that dredge up when someone asks about endeavor and its about shouto helping izuku through his complicated relationship with katsuki and how he flinches when a villain says his hero name in just the wrong tone. its about izuku covering shoutos scar with kisses and its about shouto tracing his fingers along the scar tissue on izukus hands. its about being patient and waiting and helping each other through times that feel like just too much to handle. 

Talk to Me - “ You don't have to be a hero to save the world / You don't have to be a prodigy to be unique / You don't have to know what to say or what to think / You don't have to be anybody you can never be / That's alright, let it out, talk to me “

its about both of them living up to the high expectations placed on their shoulders and telling each other that theyre enough. that izuku doesnt have to be the next symbol of peace exactly like all might. that shouto doesnt have to be the number one hero exactly like his father. its about encouraging each other to talk even though their both bad at it; izuku mumbles and stutters and takes forever to get to the point and shouto takes a long time to say what hes thinking and form it all into words and sometimes he still cant find the right ones. but shouto is patient and so is izuku.  

Sunkissed - “  So slowly a sunlit dream pulls me out of sleep / Feel the morning through the blinds / I turn my head to meet your sunkissed face / In this quite place I can give you all my time “

the ooiest and gooiest and again with all the sunlight that always used as a lovely motif. izuku is always lit up like the sun and shoutos hair always catches the light just so. its about finding each other and falling into a home and comfort together and being disgustingly in love with each other. its about the comfort that comes after the hurt and being happy and being at peace with each other

I Do Adore - “ When you're near, I hide my blushing face / And trip on my shoelaces / Grace just isn't my forté / But it brings me to my knees when you say / Hello, how are you, my darling, today? / I fall into a pile on the floor / Puppy love is hard to ignore / When every little thing you do, I do adore  “

ah another cute to emphasize that both the boys are dorks and sometimes even when theyve established that they like each other they cant help but combust into blushing messes. its about how sometimes shouto still lights himself on fire when izuku has a rare bout of confidence and really zuku that was very bold and my heart cant take it and about how shouto can still shock izuku speechless with a few well timed kisses 

Pink in the Night - “  I could stare at your back all day / And I know I've kissed you before, but / I didn't do it right / Can I try again, try again, try again / Try again, and again, and again “

izukus got a nice strong back and so does shouto (theyre heroes of course they cut a nice figure) and sometimes shouto gets lost in daydreams and sometimes izuku does too and its about the soft soft kisses that neither can get enough of. its about the yearning despite finding each other bc sometimes it doesnt feel real and ya gotta kiss again and again just to make sure and honestly its a mitski song what more to you want from me

Laundry Room - “ Don't push me out / Just a little longer / Stall your mother / Disregard your father's words / Close the laundry door / Tiptoe across the floor / Keep your clothes on / I've got all that I can take / Teach me how to use / The love that people say you made “

theres just so many fics about laundry? what makes doing laundry together so intimate? sharing detergent and smelling like each others clothes? showing a part of yourself to someone else? anyway, its about love and being home with each other and wishing the love will last. its about sometimes things dont end so well and you want to turn back time and sometimes izuku leaves and sometimes shouto runs but most times one or the other comes back and it all hurts but the love again is worth it

Brand New Day - “ I'll be flicking stones at your window / I'll be waiting outside 'til you're ready to go / Won't you come down? Come away with me / Think of all the places we could be / I'll be waiting, waiting on a brand new day  “

its about running away together or just traveling the word together or going out on a journey (always together) its about izuku wanting to go to the states for hero work or about prince shouto needing to complete a quest to be free of his father and its about izuku not wanting to go without shouto and about prince shouto only loving the journey after picking up a stray green-haired adventurer. its about beginning something new together, its about ending one chapter and starting another. 

oh tha t took soooooo long . ..  anyway ! hope you enjoyed !!!