#i am tired of myself

[rainyyy-dayysss]

I am tired. I am tired of trying. I am tired of saying I'm alright when I'm clearly not . I'm tired of this world . I am tired of everything and everyone around me . I am tired of myself. I am tired of living. I don't know what I am doing here anymore. Everything seems to be pointless in the end.

[notdelusionalatall]

TW weight:

I am so damn tired of this bullshit. I don't wanna relapse. I wanna be HEALTHY!

Enough is enough. I'm going to eat well today! 🍔🍕🍖🍗🍚🍜🍝🍰🍪🍤🍩🍣🍠🍟🍞🍅🍆🍇🍈🍉🍊🍌🥒🥑🥐🍲🍓🍒🍑🍍🥓🥔🥕🥖🥗🥘🥙🥚🦑🦐🥞🥝🥜

Anorexia is a bitch.

[mothhball]

getting inspired to write in front of your computer: ❌🤢🤮

getting inspired to write in the FUCKING shower so you have to jump out and write into your notes app while dripping like a wet RAT: 😍🥰✅✅✅❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥🔥🐀

[celtic-crossbow]

Vent below

Today is a horrible day. I hate being an adult and being forced to depend on someone else. Someone who made a promise to help and then hasn’t followed through. I don’t know why I let myself think that something like that could work for a long time.

Regardless, while this person lives the high life, I’m stuck. No way to leave. Alone. Broke. Insurance issues left me without a therapist or medication prescriber.

I guess the moral of this story is don’t make promises you can’t or have no intention of keeping. And if it’s seems too good to be true, it probably is.

[cherylmustdie]

im literally one of the most troubled girls in my school.

like what the hell is wrong with me!?

why can't i just stay out of trouble for once?

but no, i just have to ruin my life for stupid fucking things.

im tired of myself

just kill me already

[classicbarbie]

my toxic writing trait is saying "it's okay that's just my style" when the wording of the passage gets confusing instead of just. fixing it.

[creekfiend]

God I'm so tired of people acting like not wanting to attract a lot of (often negative) attention is somehow Capitulating To Bigots like. The other day I was talking to someone about my strategic deployment of pronouns based on how much of an issue I think a person is likely to make about it and they were like "oh I just do what I want I'm done catering to cis people" and I was like BUDDY. I LIVE IN THE RURAL SOUTH WANTING TO NOT HAVE TO CONSTANTLY GET INTO IT WITH PEOPLE ABOUT MY PERSONAL GENDER IDENTITY IS NOT CATERING TO CIS PEOPLE I HAVE A RIGHT TO WANT TO MOVE THROUGH THE WORLD WITHOUT CONSTANT INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

Or like I was talking about how I hate swimwear options bc they're all revealing but if you choose to wear like, a t shirt and shorts, people still stare at you because that's socially unusual so it sucks either way and someone was like "I just do it anyway and if people don't like it they can die mad about it" and like... okay. I want to be able to go to the local pool and not either be uncomfortable with what I'm wearing or have people treat me weird about it. I would like for my presence and clothing choices to be considered neutral and it's fine for me to state that actually. This is not assimilationist or capitulating to people. It's going "hm I would love if stepping out my front door didn't have to be a revolutionary act!!!!!" Agghhhhh

[notdelusionalatall]

Tired of everything. Even myself.

[theswirlersisterscircus]

Because of this post reminding me about the Bad Kidz Parent Polycule, I present to you the Bad Kidz Family Cluster.

[ID: A family tree of all the Bad Kidz and their parents using the updated official art. In the top right corner, Gorgug has a solid green line connecting him and Roz and Gorbag. A dotted green line connects him and Digby and Wilma. Roz, Gorbag, Digby, and Wilma are connected by a solid black line with a question mark below it.

Below that, The Applebees are connected to Kristen, Bucky, Bricker, and Cork by solid green lines. Kristen and Tracker are connected by a solid pink line with a red X crossed through it.

Tracker is connected to "Unknown Parents" by a solid green line. "Unknown Parents" is connected to Jawbone by a solid blue line, and Tracker and Jawbone are connected by a dotted green line with a question mark above it. Adaine is connected to Jawbone by a dotted green line, and Aelwyn is connected to Adaine by a solid blue line.

Jawbone and Sandra Lynn are connected by a pink line. Sandra Lynn and Gorthalax are connected by a pink line with a red X crossed through it, and Fig is connected to them by a solid green line. Gorthalax and Sklonda are connected by a pink line with a question mark below it. Sklonda and Pok are connected by a purple line that is bisected by the skull and crossbones emoji. Riz is connected to them by a solid green line.

Sandra Lynn and Gilear are connected by a purple line with a red X crossed through it. Gilear and Fig are connected by a dotted green line, and he and Hallariel are connected by a pink line. Hallariel and Bill are connected by a purple line that's bisected by a skull and crossbones emoji. Fabian is connected to them by a solid green line, and Fabian and Fig are connected by a dotted blue line. End ID]

Green means parents/children, Blue means siblings, Pink means dating, and Purple means marriage. Dotted lines mean non-biological. The black line means I have no idea what the Thistlesprings and Roz and Gorbag have going on.

I wasn't sure if Gorthalax and Sklonda are actually dating so I put a question mark, and I wasn't sure if Jawbone actually adopted Tracker or was just letting her live with him. Regardless, here's the full family tree. I hope it gets worse <3 thanks for your time.

[pawubits]

ok guys dont freak out but. grian fanart.

I DID SAY THIS WAS AN MCYT BLOG,,,OKAY,,

(btw this is fanart for a fic called "Healing Is a Four Letter Word" made by Hypno_cat over on ao3!)

[dragon-spaghetti]

Have some huskerdust doodles from my lunch break in work 💖

[bixels]

While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

[fucklife101]

No one understands how much I hate myself. I hate myself so fucking much I can’t even look on the mirror without feeling absolutely disgusted. I want to die.

[lem0nademouth]

thinking about how fucking resilient Jews are.

thinking about my great grandparents in romania, raised in a land colonized by the same empire that sent them to the balkans, still working as tailors and butchers like their ancestors had for generations.

thinking about them stowing away on ships to america so their children could live to see adulthood.

thinking about how many other five foot two bookworms have been in my family. i know i’m not the first, and i certainly hope i won’t be the last.

thinking about how many seders my family has held throughout history, how many “next year in jerusalem”s were shouted. it hasn’t happened yet, but maybe it will.

thinking about the women who passed down kabbalah to their children while witches burned in the next village over. how many mothers kept literal magic alive.

thinking about how every single person that lived before me, every branch of my family tree, had to choose to survive. living has always been in the present progressive for Jews; every breath they took was a choice to fight just a little longer.

i come from people who survived the spanish inquisition, the soviet union, the Shoah, the judeo-roman wars, ottoman imperialism, the rise and fall of so many empires i cannot name them all, and the only uniting factor is them. they taught their toddlers the sh’ma and lit candles and read books and sewed clothes and spun linen and cured meat and davened and smiled and laughed and they did that for two thousand years. ten years ago i became the first bat mitzvah in my family line. the first woman in my family to read from the torah.

i hope they’re proud. i hope i was worth it for them.

[yardsards]

hot take but you all NEED to stop telling people to kill themselves.

yes, even *those* people. i don't care if you're talking to some monster who puts live puppies into a wood chipper for fun, don't say that shit.

because mx. puppychipper isn't gonna be affected by your words.

but you know who might be affected? some innocent third party reading the words you said on a public website.

because telling people to kill themselves says "suicide is a punishment for being a bad person. bad people, upon realizing they're bad, should simply commit suicide instead of working to atone for their actions."

and that is NOT a message you wanna be normalizing to anyone, but ESPECIALLY people with depression (who, let's be real, make up a higher than average chunk of this site's userbase). whose mental illness is already telling them that 1: they're an inherently terrible worthless person no matter what they do 2: death is an appealing option.

is reading "kill yourself" once or twice gonna make them do it? nah, probably not. but reading it multiple times a day every day is gonna make their mental health worse. it's probably not good for your mental health to be saying that kind of thing, either.

just knock that shit off. the world is already so hostile to people with mental illness, and managing mental illness and unlearning unhealthy thought patterns is already so difficult. you don't need to be out here making it worse.

[lillazyboithings]

"You better leave your hopes behind,

No one's gonna stop him"

This WIP is no longer a WIP lol, this thing has been unfinished for 2 months and i finally got to continue it :DD!

anyways this is basically me being inspired by my classmate drawing a frame from the musical so i thought "Hey! that would be fun to do", it was not fun to do when you have multiple art deadlines y'all

Left is rendered with background, right is the initial base colors (didnt like the color of pete's pants lol)