#i can definitely say i’ve seen myself grow this year :]

[heartbreakfeelsogood]

it’s been one year.

[mountsmase]

a/n: hi!! it’s been a little while but I’m back! (I think?) I’ve had the worst writers block ever and I didn’t think I’d have anything to post anytime soon but this is a very little, very unedited something that I wrote yesterday after we got this pic 🤭 like I said it’s unedited and I’m posting it before I have a chance to talk myself out of it so please excuse any mistakes, this definitely isn’t amazing but I’m still really happy with it so I hope you enjoy 🫶🏻💖

word count: 2k

genre: fluff and smut without actually being smut

———————

Summer Loving - MM7

Laughter, chatter, and the sound of the waves crashing are the only things that can be heard as you sit on a rather large boat in the middle of the greek ocean.

You’re 3 days in to your holiday with Mason and his family, and it’s safe to say that you’re having the time of your life. When you first met Mason a couple of years ago, they immediately welcomed you and took you in as though you were one of their own, and you’ll forever be grateful that they continue to invite you on these amazing holidays with them.

The trip this year has been a little busier than the last couple you have done together, with his eldest sister and her family flying in to join you from Australia. All fifteen of you are staying in one big villa together and you’ve been having the time of your lives, playing in the pool all day before dressing up and going out for meals in the evening, but today has been a little different.

You all decided to rent out a boat for the day, wanting a change of scenery. The plan being to do some snorkelling and sail to different spots around the coast to give you a different view of the island, so that’s where you are now, up on the top deck of the yacht you’ve rented and sat around the large table after enjoying some lunch and a bit of time out of the sun.

You’ve been making some friendship bracelets with Summer and Poppy for the last hour or so, giving them your full attention and listening to their instructions as they show you all of their favourite beads and tell you how to use each one.

You hadn’t been paying much attention to anything else that was going on around you, which is why it takes you a few moments to realise that Mason is missing from the group after you finish tying the final knot on your last bracelet, placing it to the side for safe keeping.

“Has anyone seen Mase?” You ask, looking around again to make sure he’s not just hiding in plain sight.

The group answer with collective no’s, Lewis letting you know that he disappeared about 5 mins ago but he just assumed he was going to use the loo, so you give it another couple of minuets, waiting to see if he comes back before deciding to go and look for him.

You excuse your self from the table, heading downstairs to look inside first before making your way to the back decking when you have no luck. It takes you a few more moments to spot him, but your heart warms when you do.

He’s sitting at the back of the boat, on the lowest deck with his legs dangling in the water, his back facing you as he looks out into the distance. His tanned skin glows under the sun, decorated with his tattoos which are just begging to be touched and your skin heats at the sight of his toned arms and back, a result of the extra gym sessions he’s been fitting in.

You gravitate towards him, careful not to make too much noise as you don’t want to startle him, but as you get closer you open the camera app on your phone, wanting to take a photo of him so that you can remember the sight forever.

It’s the camera sound affect that grabs his attention, giving away your presence as he turns around to find your bikini clad body stood on the deck above him, his smile growing as he motions for you to join him.

“I was hoping you’d come and find me” he speaks, voice soft as you take the few steps down to the lower deck and walk the short distance to where he’s sitting, your phone now discarded on the side as you sit your self down behind him.

You wrap your legs around him, arms circling his waist and you both know that it’s a little too hot to be this close, but you can’t bring yourselves to care as he leans back into you, his back pressed to your front as he rests most of his weight onto you.

“What are you doing over here all alone?” You wonder, peaking at him over his shoulder.

His cheeks are flushed, and you know it’s not because of the sun when he drops his head as if he’s trying to hide from you.

“Go on, tell me” you encourage, pressing your lips to his shoulder to coax the answer from him, wondering what’s gotten him so shy all of a sudden.

“Just wanted some time alone with you, and I know it sounds bad but I knew that sneaking away would be the only way I’d get it”

He wants time alone with you and he knew you’d come looking for him.

The usual butterflies that you get around him are released from their cage as his words sink in, your own cheeks now heating up as you rest one against his shoulder blade, feeling the need to be even closer.

“All you had to do was ask me to come with you, bubs. I’m sure no one would mind”

“I know, but I didn’t want to pull you away from your bracelet making. It looked like pretty intense stuff” He laughs, remembering back to an hour ago when Summer was giving you strict instructions on how to make your bracelets and telling you what beads to use.

“Well, I’m here now.” You sit up a little straighter, hands moving to his shoulders and massaging into skin. He tilts his head, placing a kiss to the back of your hand in acknowledgment before allowing himself to relax into you again.

You sit in a comfortable silence for a while, enjoying the view and each others company as you continue your touches, running your hands up and over his shoulder blades, down his back, and over every other inch of his skin that you can reach. Your lips follow their path and you revel in the soft hums that leave his lips every so often, his relaxed sighs letting you know that he’s enjoying himself so you can’t find it in you to stop.

His hands rest against your legs that are still wrapped around his waist, sitting just below your knees and tracing patterns into your skin until he decides that he wants you even closer.

“C’mere” he mumbles, patting the decking beside him and you shuffle around so that you’re sat at his side, legs now dangling into the water next to his and his arm wraps around you, holding you to him.

His other hand lands on your thigh as you lean into him and rest your head against his shoulder, his once innocent touches now growing a little more risky and you can feel his mood shift as they become more deliberate. His expression remains innocent, but the gentle circles he was once tracing become firmer as he creeps his way higher up, getting dangerously close to the hem on your bikini bottoms and you struggle to ignore the wave of heat that rushes to your centre as he tickles along the inside of your thigh.

“Mason” you warn, though you don’t put up much of a fight as his hand moves and instead finds its way up to your waist, tugging you closer towards him until your legs are thrown over his and your body suddenly craves for more.

“They can’t see us down here, Y/N. We’re hidden” he mumbles, and you feel the sensible part of your brain slowly giving into him as he checks once more for any hesitation, connecting his lips to yours when he doesn’t find any.

He keeps one hand against your waist, tightening his grip and digging his fingertips into your skin as his other finds its way to the back of your head, tangling his fingers into your hair and tilting your head slightly to give himself more control over the kiss. He tugs gently on your locks, your quiet gasp allowing him to slip his tongue between your lips.

You moan into his mouth, tasting the fruity cocktail that he’s been drinking on his tongue and feeling intoxicated as he steals every last breath from your lungs. You suddenly can’t get any closer to him, your hands everywhere as you scoot further into his lap and wrap your arms around his shoulders, digging your fingers into the firm muscles and lightly scratching your nails over his skin.

A deep sigh slips between his lips at the feeling of your hands against him, separating his lips from yours so that you can take a breath but your touch only encourages him to continue.

His hand drifts down your side, fingertips teasing over your hip and fiddling with the bows that hold your bikini bottoms together, threatening to dip under the fabric as he trails his kisses down your neck and to your shoulder, his beard scratching against your delicate skin and causing goosebumps to follow in his path.

“Mase,” you breath, getting lost in the feeling of his lips against your skin as he scatters a line of kisses alongside the strap of your top, but you’re quickly brought back to reality at the sound of giggling coming from the deck above you.

The realisation that one of his family members could come and find you at any given moment snaps you out of your Mason induced daze, and you rush to move away from him but don’t get far as he tightens his hold on your hip, not letting you go anywhere. You glance around, relieved to find that no one has followed you to this area of the boat yet, but that’s not to say that someone won’t eventually come looking for you.

“We shouldn’t” You tell Mason, bringing a hand to the back of his neck and gently trying to pry him away from you, but he doesn’t go down without a fight, groaning in protest and placing a few more kisses to your skin before eventually giving in and sitting back to look at you.

“This sucks” he pouts, resembling a child that just had their favourite toy taken away from them as he leans back against the decking, making sure to not break any physical contact as he moves his hand to instead rest against your thigh again.

You understand why he’s frustrated. The last few days that you’ve been away haven’t necessarily been easy, having to watch each other walk around in minimal clothing all day, and not being able to spend any alone time together besides the quick shower fuck yesterday morning, which definitely scratched the itch but has only left you both craving more.

“I know, Masey. But just think about next week” You hold his gaze, watching as he instantly perks up at the mention of your next trip together.

As much as you’re loving your time away with his family, you can’t help but look forward to your next getaway. After arriving back home from Mykonos in a few days time, you’ll be in Manchester for not even 48 hours before jetting back off to Portugal for another week in the sun. But you’ll be alone that time, a week of each others undisturbed company before you’re both thrown back into busy work and training schedules. And it’s safe to say that it can’t come soon enough, the both of you in desperate need of some long anticipated time alone.

“Can’t fucking wait” Leaning forward, he presses his lips to yours once, twice, and a third time just for good measure.

“C’mon” he mumbles, standing up and reaching out to take your hand, tricking you into thinking that you’re just heading back to the top deck to join his family again but you’re caught of guard when he suddenly pulls you into the water with him.

The water is a refreshing surprise as it surrounds you and you can only laugh as your head pokes back up above the surface, one of your hands still securely held by Mason’s but you’re sure to use the other to splash him as he resurfaces next to you. Your sudden playful mood attracts the attention of his nieces and nephew, all of them coming around to your side of the boat and jumping in to join you, the rest of his family following soon after.

You spend the last few hours of the afternoon making the most of your remaining time on the boat, soaking up the sun and enjoying your time with his family, all while looking forward everything that awaits you in Portugal.

———————

a/n: thank you so much for reading! feedback is appreciated as always 💖

[vixstarria]

Another gift

This is a continuation of my headcanon of Astarion’s romance with bard Tav. I can’t remember the actual chronology of cutscenes, but let’s assume this takes place after you’ve started a sexual relationship with Astarion and are beginning to grow closer. I was going to take it in a different direction initially, but these things have a mind of their own once they get going. 

If you like it, check out my first fic. I do plan on writing more! 

P.S. I may have taken some liberties with the game background story and DnD lore and magic system here – if it doesn’t really match up or make sense – sorry! Also I’m still only on Act 2. 

Tav tries to comfort or distract a brooding Astarion. 

Astarion x Reader, Astarion x Tav, Astarion x Bard Tav  

Comfort, fluff, budding love, humour, angst, banter, no spoilers, non-explicit 

Approximately 2,000 words. 

AO3

 

Astarion was standing outside his tent with his back to the camp, staring into a silver mirror. The man had either lost his vampiric condition, lost his mind, or was simply brooding.  

“Looking at something?” he asked absent-mindedly, as you approached. 

Brooding. Definitely brooding.  

“Looking for something.” 

“Oh?” He turned towards you. “Just my company, or is there something else I can offer you?” 

“I'm the one making an offering, actually. I thought I’d bring you a little snack” 

Astarion grinned and beckoned you inside his tent.  

Inside, aside from his bedroll, was a trunk with a large mirror opposite, a lit lantern and a scattering of weapons, equipment and books. You assumed your usual position, cross-legged on the bedroll, and offered him your wrist. This didn’t take long. Just a little pick me up.  

He finished, planting a light kiss on your wrist, reached for his amulet and whispered an incantation to heal the wound. He kept hold of your hand, lacing his fingers through yours.  

“Do you have any idea how much I appreciate that you don’t sexualise this?”  

“I haven’t thought about it... Really?” 

“Well imagine that any time you went to, say, take a bite of a turkey leg, there was someone staring, groping themselves and wagging their tongue at you. When you’re just trying to perform basic functions to stay alive.” 

“Sweetheart, that’s an average evening at the pub for me, when I perform. With or without me biting on anything. ...But I see what you mean”. You contemplated what he just said in a brief silence. “I can't believe you just compared me to a turkey leg.” 

“You’re more of a ripe, juicy peach” he said. You found yourself oddly pleased to be compared to fruit rather than poultry. 

You glanced at the large mirror standing on the floor of the tent.  

“You own an awful lot of mirrors for a vampire. Why do you even keep this here?” 

“That? Oh, it reflects light... makes the tent appear more spacious... prevents anyone from sneaking up on me. ...Unless they’re another vampire.” Astarion said contemplatively. “And I figured, I woke up once with a tadpole in my brain that let me walk in the sun again – who's to say I won’t catch another parasite tomorrow that might cure my vampirism entirely?” 

“Do you miss it? Seeing your own face?” 

“Preening in the looking glass? Petty vanity? Of course I miss it. I’ve never even seen this face. Not since it grew fangs and my eyes turned red. My face is just some dark shape in my past. Another thing I’ve lost. I wouldn’t even recognise myself anymore. It’s been two hundred years.” 

“But...” you fumbled, trying to wrap your mind around that. “You could have found a street artist to sketch you since then.” 

“In the middle of the night?” 

“Or commissioned a portraitist, those artistic types would accommodate you any time of day or night” 

“Commissioned a - …I’m sorry, at what point did I give you the impression that Cazador paid us an allowance..?” Astarion was growing agitated. “And before you say I could have stolen – remember, everything I had, anything I acquired by any means, the clothes on my back, my body, my will – it all belonged to the master.” He paused, regaining control of his demeanour. “There was no point in having any possessions, it would all be the bastard’s in the end. I didn’t want to give him any more than I absolutely had to.” 

You kicked yourself in the ass mentally.  

“Well how’s this... We get to Baldur’s Gale. We exterminate Cazador and take over his palace. Then we rip out whatever he’s got as décor, commission all the best artists, and hang paintings of you on every wall. There will be nothing but portraits of Astarion everywhere.” Astarion’s eyes softened as he watched you gesticulating and getting carried away by your own imagination. “Astarion in shining armour. Astarion on a horse. Astarion on silk bedsheets, half-covered in rose petals. Pirate Astarion. Astarion stroking a cat. Historic events, but every single person depicted is Astarion. Oh! And in the main banquet hall, there will be an enormous mural of you, fully naked, lounging on a divan and being fed grapes by a cadre of nymphs.” 

“With a fig leaf covering my unmentionables?” 

“A comically large fig leaf. Or better yet, no fig leaf, just your full unmentionable glory looming over the dining table” You paused, as if sobering up after being lost in your grand vision, and added in a more serious tone: “We can commission busts and statues, too. Get a mold of your face for a hyper-realistic one.” 

“We” he whispered, as if to himself, with a scornful chuckle.  

“Oh? Do you have someone else in Baldur’s Gate you’d rather spend time with?” You realised how callous that might have come across as soon as the words were out, and cringed inwardly. 

“...No, I don’t” he said absently. 

“Elves live long lives... Do you still have real family there? Friends from... before? ...A spouse? Children?” You'd wondered about this before, and figured you may as well lie in the hole you’d dug for yourself.  

“Gods, no!” Astarion blinked in surprise. “I wasn’t even considered a full adult by elven society then. No, mercifully I didn’t leave any little Astarions behind. All my friends from my youth are either dead or have blissfully forgotten me. And I don’t even know where my family is.” 

You gave him a sympathetic and questioning look, waiting for him to go on. He sighed and continued. 

“As you might expect, Cazador placed a restriction on me, preventing me from telling anyone about my affliction. I couldn’t approach my old acquaintances and go ‘Surprise! I’m actually alive! ...Sort of. I’m just someone’s vampire spawn slave now!’. No. I was to turn around and walk the other way if I ever came upon anyone who might recognise me. I was supposed to be devoted only to my new ‘family’.” he scowled. “I feared that Cazador would use anyone he thought might be important to me against me - for fun, or to teach me a ‘lesson’. And he would have, too: the mental torture he unleashed on his spawn was far worse than physical.” He paused and took a deep breath. “I couldn’t go and see my family, but as soon as I had my wits about me, I managed to arrange for one of the mercenary guilds to quickly escort my relatives out of the city. They were to be told that I made some powerful enemies who had me murdered, and that these enemies would come for them next. That they had to leave, change their names, and never return. I don’t know where they went. I can’t know, if I want them to be safe.” He looked away. “I can’t imagine how much they hated and cursed me. I ruined their lives.” he whispered. 

“You saved them!” you objected, taking his hand. He shrugged but squeezed your hand back. 

“I suppose I might have. Cazador would’ve left their heads on spikes in my crypt by now, otherwise.” He met your eyes again. “So yes, if anyone is going to be helping me decorate a palace, it’s you.” he added with a false cheer, clearly finished with the topic of Cazador.  

You thought he might want to be alone then and were about to leave, but he gently pulled you towards himself. He was sitting on the ground with his back against a trunk. You settled between his legs, your back against his chest, his lips right at your ear, one arm across your shoulders and chest, the other playing with your hair. The large mirror was on the ground right in front of you. He studied your reflection over your shoulder. You appeared to be lounging suspended at an odd angle.  

“How does it even work, anyway... It’s not just your body that disappears, it’s your clothing, too”. You grabbed a hat from the top of the trunk, holding it by its crown, and held it over Astarion’s head, moving it in circles against his hair. “Now you see it...” You let go and watched it disappear in the reflection. “Now you don’t.” 

“I’m actually not sure, darling. Maybe it needs to be supported solely by me. Or it’s got to do with movement” He threw the hat back onto the trunk, where it reappeared in the reflection. 

“Say...” threw your head back to look up into his eyes “Do you think my reflection would disappear... if a part of you was inside?” you bit your lip and grinned mischievously.  

“I don’t think so, but I love how that dirty mind of yours works” he purred in your ear. “Let’s check and find out” His hand slid towards the clasp of your pants, but you swatted it away. 

“Later.” Suddenly you were on a mission. “I have an idea.” 

The rest of your group were gathered around the fire as you made a dash for your tent and grabbed your kit of stage paints and powders.

“Chk, are you doing each other’s makeup in there?” came a scoff from Lae’zel, as you rushed past. 

“Don’t be jealous, Lae. We’ll have a girls night and braid each other’s hair tomorrow” you retorted, making Shadowheart choke on her drink.  

Back in Astarion’s tent, you reached for one of your loose facial powders. 

“You really don’t need to do anything, I’m used to it and nothing will work anyway” protested a confused and weary Astarion. 

“Astarion!” you said gravely, “This isn’t for you. This is for science”, and you blew the powder hard into his face. Sure enough, an outline of his features appeared briefly in the mirror, as the powder flew all around him. “It worked!” 

“Fan-tastic! Too bad you had to blind me to achieve that split second of a silhouette!” he coughed and rubbed at his eyes. 

“It should work with water, too, if you want me to pour some over your head. You need to wash all that powder off anyway, you look ridiculous.”  

He glared at you through the still flying powder particles and pointed a finger at your face.  

“No.” 

“Actually, hang on, I have a better idea.” You heard him groan into his hands behind you, as you ran back to your tent, to return with an amulet.  

“So, the good news is, I am really, really bad at this.” 

“If this involves setting me on fire again...” 

“That was an accident. Anyway... No, this lets me create a fog cloud. Or so it should. I can just barely manage some fog tendrils. Now if I just aim them at your face...” You concentrated on the spell. Whisps of fog appeared around Astarion. “Look...” As the fog tendrils twisted in the air, you could just make out a form that they floated around, in the reflection, one unmistakably of a face.  

“Well...” breathed Astarion, transfixed by the reflection, trying to make motions with his head to make the fog recoil. “It’s not much, but it’s more than I’ve seen in centuries” 

“Come on” you grasped his hand. “Let’s go outside, it needs a different light and a slight breeze” 

Astarion snatched his handheld mirror and followed you. He was actually eager.  

Outside, Astarion spun in the whispy fog, gazing at the mirror in disbelief, as you continued to concentrate on the spell. It was actually working. Your conjuration magic was just bad enough to make the thinnest layer of fog, framing his face like a delicate mask and reflecting in the mirror. What would have been considered incredibly precise work by a wizard, was made possible entirely thanks to you borderline failing.  

“That’s better... I’ll channel the fog right, you turn left against it. No, your other left! No, don’t go into the fire, you idiot, it won’t be my fault this time” 

You grabbed Astarion by the hand and tried to guide him away from fire and anything he could trip over – he was paying exactly zero mind to anything around him, as he semi-stumbled in circles, looking in the mirror. Scratch ran around you, barking, excited for a new game, and eventually tripped you both. 

“Another gift...” Astarion smiled at you, as Scratch did his utmost to lick his face.  

Meanwhile, the group watched the two of you from a distance, dumbfounded. Lae'zel broke the silence: 

“Your people have the strangest mating rituals.”  

“Should I... should I tell them I can probably just cast mirror image on him? I’ve only done it on myself, but it should follow the same principle” added Gale. 

“Maybe tomorrow” said Shadowheart. “Just let them enjoy this tonight.” 

~~~~~

Next in series

AO3

[samglyph]

would love a list of your horror novels with women leads recs 👀

Yippee let me go find things so I can add a fun cover picture. These are all books that I’ve read in the last year! Definitely not an exhaustive list

*two of these technically aren’t horror books but I’m including them because I think they’re horror adjacent enough that if you like lighter horror, you’ll enjoy em.

A House With Good Bones by T Kingfisher: I just finished this! It was good! Not too scary imo, but great exploration of generational trauma, and a majority female cast. Also good if you are a bug enjoyer.

Family Business by Jonathan Sims: hey look it’s that guy that did that horror podcast that everyone likes. Family business is fun because Jonny really excels at “lulling you into a false sense of security” and also building a believable cast of characters. I think I’ve seen fewer people talk about this one compared to thirteen storeys, and I know that’s partially cause it just came out in paperback (in the US) but please! It’s good!

My Heart is a Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones: this one is for certified weird girls. Jade’s special interest is slashers. She is now in a slasher. I love her so much. Part of a trilogy that I will conquer eventually.

The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw: (I talked about this one when I was reccing some queer books but I will repeat myself cause it’s good) I support women’s wrongs (eating people) and women’s rights (having situationships with agender plague doctors). Also this one is really short so if you don’t want to commit to a long read like chainsaw Id say try this one out. Very poetic.

Next two aren’t sorted into horror but honorable mentions:

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia: mushroom horror, good female lead, and a supporting wet cat of a man. I know some of you are going to devour this book so what are you even waiting for. Also I think the author has a new book out that’s actually sorted into horror but I haven’t read yet called Silver Nitrate. Frankly I think Mexican gothic should be counted as horror but I think it squeaks by on some technicalities. I love the descriptions in this book.

The Near Witch by VE Schwab: good folk horror, good quick read, I’m going to be honest I didn’t like the romance and I thought the lead should’ve been aromantic but otherwise pretty good book.

[gerardpilled]

I want to say thanks for acknowledging and being critical of racism done by MCR band members and racism in the scene in general. I just recently got into MCR a year ago on a deeper scale and I have found many things off putting and kind of yikes. It's nice seeing someone who is critical of what the band members have done in the past and not excusing them and addressing that it was an issue as a whole. I used to be very hateful towards Lindsey but now I realize that it would be hypocritical (I still do not like MSI just due to it not being my taste in music and I don't care for that shock value type lyrics). I was wondering if you know any resources that talk more about racism in the scene? It's something I'd like to know more about

Oh it’s no problem! Thank you for thanking me, but I don’t see myself as doing anything special. I was raised in an environment where I was fortunate enough to be around people and friends who have made me aware of implicit racism -from my self and others- since an early age. Hearing “well, that’s cause you’re white” is a playful joke but it also made me aware of stuff! Just from what I’ve seen in recent years, the shortcomings of white people who are the focus of fandom are often ignored. There’s nothing wrong with pointing out a racist thing your fave said or did because it doesn’t necessarily make them A Racist™️ (sometimes it can). It also helps people recognize the issues before they get worse. POC aren’t a monolith - there are plenty of things disagreed on amongst any community - but there are definitely over arching sentiments.

Anyway, I’m basically just reiterating a bunch of talking points made by poc on here. As for further reading, I feel like the best sources for me have been mutuals’ posts. First hand stories. Being receptive when people share how certain things make them feel. Racism in this particular scene is also sort of a new and emerging topic as the people who lived through the heart of it are just now reaching authorship age. I look forward to seeing what comes out in the next few years.

What I have right now:

My Chemical Relaxer - a short autobiographical story about growing up Black and emo

News story about how the current state of hardcore is looking much more diverse

Sing It Zine - zine made by fanartists a few years ago!! It’s great, I bought a digital copy myself. It’s filled with art and short essays about how it felt to grow up in a scene that often ignored non white people. Also a bunch of tumblr users participated, so it offers a great follow list if you’re interested.

If anyone else has any suggestions, add them in a reblog, or send them and I’ll do it!

[luffyvace]

Vinsmoke Sanji x reader who fights his royal treatment~

@starrymiko suggested/requested these!! This a fun idea I’ve never seen before, because most people ik wouldn’t reject royal treatment from a hot guy—turns out I have a lot to learn (😂💗)

I really don’t how to explain this as a short title so here’s the post where they explain it better than me: Vinsmoke Sanji with reader who rejects his royal treatement

also going to link the posts they got inspired by/read to give them this idea:

Dating ~ Sanji Vinsmoke ~ headcanons & Dating ~ Sanji Vinsmoke ~ headcanons pt2

Sanji loves hard when he loves

And he certainly loves you!

He’s also a very expressive man!

whether he despises you or wants to marry you, he expresses how he feels!

usually verbally too

But he also has practically all love languages, and he tones them to your favorites

but one trait that definitely sticks is his need to take care for who he loves!

so when you reject it?! “But my ethereal and whimsically attractive darling?! What do you mean??”

you explain that you don’t want his coddling and that you can do things on your own, as you prefer your independence

even though that’s not the full story, technically

Pushing him away is pretty darn hard as we see in the anime with Nami and Robin. He’s been trying and failing for 2 years..So if your his s/o this simps’ definitely not just gonna be like “ok 👍” and simply walk away 🤷‍♀️

Alr I apologize for that dad joke.

he’s gonna try every love language in the book to try and get you to open up, you two are dating after all, so maybe your just shy? Awww so cute! His dearest is embarrassed~ Physical Touch is probably the first thing he’d try and the first thing you’d say no to. Mainly since he’s a simp and touching is too direct for you. You guys are a really ironic couple since you’re almost scared of love and he’s all about it.

He tried to initiate contact of all types and got rejected each and every time. Let me carry you for a romantic walk as I hold your bags! 💥💥 “I said got it! 💨 🎒😑” Well at least let me carry the bag to your room! It’s really heavy! “No! I can do it on my own!” But darling- “NO!”

tbh you can hit him as much as you want but he won’t hit you back. So whenever you argue or fight about these kinds of things you usually end up winning the argument

for acts of service literally everything is a no- I washed your laundry for you! “What! Don’t touch my clothes! I’ve got it!!” I got that thing you’ve been searching for! “I wanted to find it myself! Now it’s not as rewarding! I could do it on my own! Stop doing things for me!” Darling, let me help~ 😞 “no way!”

tbh the only thing you let him do is cook for you because he is the cook, and even so, if you want to fix a snack you prefer to do it by yourself. It makes his love for cooking grow even more and he looks forward to daily meals because he can finally take care of you! 🩷

receiving gifts is probably another thing you’d reject seeing as though you’d figure you can get it yourself. But words of affirmation and quality time? May or may not be so bad for you! I’ll let you decide :) if you allow him to display his love in these ways he’d be overjoyed and just assume this is your preferred way of display of affection, and that the other 3 aren’t your forte 💗💗

when he finds out he’s truly scaring you away simply by treating you right and respecting you, he figures somethin’s up.

he’s gonna get to the bottom of it too, whether you like it or not because you, need. it. He knows what it feels like to bottle up your past and smile at the future, despite the fact that the past is still hurting you inside, and it’s like a ticking time bomb before you implode.

He knows he doesn’t want that for you. (Especially after whole cake)

So he’ll gently pry as much as he can with out upsetting you too much. It’s also helpful if you visit your home land, because then he can learn what it was like for you growing up.

if he finds out a person did this to you? They’re cooked.

LOL- literally tho, he’s going Infrit Jambe and lighting’ ‘‘em up! 🔥

if they’re a women he’ll explain the situation to Robin and Nami who’ll certainly want to help you, and they’ll beat up that trifling tramp! 💥

(even if you don’t visit your homeland this still applies ⬇️)

after that Sanji would want to ease you into being used to respect especially and his care too

now if your just naturally independent he’ll try and let it go as best as he can, but he does want you to command respect, because if you let others disrespect you, that proves you have no respect for yourself.

and it’s essential to be able to at least stand up for yourself on the grand line.

but don’t worry! If you won’t do it, he will for you! 😏 No? Well then stand up for yourself dear! 😊

🔥🧑‍🍳

🍜🍳🥘🥞

🔥🔥🔥🔥 Let. Me. COOK.

[i-wanna-write]

I loved you - Billy Russo x castlesister!reader

Prompt: Billy doesn’t want to die alone. You make sure he doesn’t.

Warnings: Some cuss words. Mentions of blood. ANGST!! All of it angst!

Disclaimer: I got this photo of Google.

Word count: 1518

A/N: not my longest but definitely my saddest if I do say so myself.

————————————————————————

“Hello?” The voice answers the phone.

“Curtis?” Billy croaks out. “Curt-Curtis.”

Billy is met with silence. He’s currently sprawled out on the floor, his back leaning against the wall. Everything hurts. His now healed scars. His head. The bullet wounds to his abdomen. His heart.

“I’m hurt.” Billy adds. “I’m hurt really bad.”

“Where are you?” Curtis questions.

“I’m bleeding all over your basement.” Billy says humorously, letting out a choked laugh.

His breaths are labored. The blood pooling in his lungs can almost be heard through the phone. He’s been in pain before, but nothing ever like this.

“I’m dying.” He reveals. “I’m dying Curt. Will you call Y/N?”

Silence is again heard. His shirt is drenched in blood and sweat. Growing up he was always a pretty boy. That notion caused him many nightmares and scars both physical and mental. But then he met you. His best friend's sister.

You saw behind his good looks and charm and loved him for it. Loved him for all his demons. For his sense of humor, his fierce protectiveness, and his loyal love. You loved him for all the good in him, despite all the bad

“P-promise me you-you won’t call the cops at least. Can you do that? Can you do that?” Billy begs, wincing again in pain.

“I promise I won’t call the cops.” Curtis vows.

“I know I probably don’t deserve it after what I’ve done.” Billy pauses. “But if you can find it in yourself to be a brother one last time, please, call Y/N. I don’t wanna die alone. I don’t -“

The pain cuts Billy off as it intensifies, the phone sliding down his chest as he can no longer hold it. He sits there, alone. He’s done, seen, and experienced so many things in his life. But all those decisions and experiences have led him to this movement - dying alone.

————————————————————

“Curtis?” You question as you answer your phone.

“The basement of the church. I’m giving you a 15 minute head start then I call Frank.”

The phone clicks off and all you hear after that is a dial tone. You’re filled with dread, knowing what the Curtis is talking about. You know why he wants you to go to the church. And you definitely know why he’s calling you before Frank.

Still filled with dread, you grab your gun and jacket before heading out your apartment door.

————————————————————

You walk down the stairs to the basement and enter it, freezing immediately at the sight in front of you.

Sitting on the ground with his back leaning against the wall is Billy Russo.

Otherwise known as the man you loved, and the man that is responsible for the murder of your brother's family.

His clothes are filthy and covered in blood. His face is pale, causing his most recent scars to be more prominent. You see his chest rise and fall in sharp breaths, his hands are over his abdomen where blood seems to be spilling out of.

“Billy?” You questions, walking toward the figure.

His head snaps towards you and your E/C matche with bloodshot.

“Y-Y/N.” Billy breathes out. “Curt called you. You’re here.”

You walk closer to him, many feelings rushing you. Concern. Sadness. This is a man you loved - and maybe still love - for so many years of your life. Who’s been by your side for everything you’ve been through. Seeing him hurt, this broken, makes you feel the same.

But you also feel anger. This man lied, betrayed, and broke you. He tried to murder your brother and it resulted in the death of your sister-in-law and niece and nephew. When you found out the truth, your heart was ripped out and you wanted vengeance - just like your brother.

Now you don’t know what you want.

“Yeah, I’m here.” You say, standing to his left side, sighing to yourself.

You take a seat beside him and press your hands over his bloody ones and pull them away. You see the source, a bullet wound with blood gushing out. You guide his hands back to where they were and let go.

“What the hell did you do Billy?” You question, pulling your hands away and and rising one cup his cheek, turning his face towards you.

“I’m dying sweetheart.” Billy states, his face grimacing in pain.

“I know.” You state, rubbing your finger over his cheek.

Billy’s breaths are coming out hard, his breath brushing onto your face.

“I didn’t wanna be alone.” He states, tears in his eyes.

You nod, swallowing a sob as tears enter your eyes.

“I’m here.” You tell him.

One of his bloodied hands comes up and rests over yours. You see the fear in his eyes. He's been alone his whole life but found solace in you and your brother. In your brother's family.

A family he’s responsible for the murder for.

“I fucked up.” Billy starts, eyes staring into yours. “I-I thought if I had more money, more success, you’d love me more. You’d never leave me. I couldn’t see that you never would have. I - I thought I could get away with it. That you wouldn’t find out what I did. And nothing I say can-“

“Billy.” You cut his rambling off as tears freely fall from your face. “Don’t think about that.”

You didn’t want to hear his reason behind it. How he thought you didn’t, couldn’t, love him enough. That he thought if he was richer, more successful, you’d finally accept it. You can’t reason how he couldn’t see that you accepted him from the moment you saw him.

It seems he was thinking of that moment too.

“I remember when I first saw you.” He says, his voice a whisper. “The gun range Frank brought me to. Your hair was pulled back, a black tank top, and camo pants with combat boots. But I didn’t see your beauty first. I saw you hit every target. 800m away and you were able to hit them like they were nothing.”

You remember that day. While Frank joined the marines, you joined the police force and eventually rose in the ranks, joining SWAT. You took pride in having your teams back and being a sharpshooter. You enjoyed the challenge of shooting a target, whether it be moving or far away.

“When you turned and I saw your face, I was done for. You looked nothing like Frankie’s ugly mug.”

You laugh at that statement through your tears because it was the truth. Despite being his full blooded younger sister, you looked nothing like Frank.

“And you looked nothing like a marine.” You state, hand letting his face go to run it over his hair. “Hair probably longer than regulation and dressed way too nice for a shooting range. But you proved me wrong, being the best damn sniper I’ve seen.”

“One thing you’re terrible at.” Billy couches out, laughing slightly.

“The guns just never liked me.” You state. Happy to see a smile on his face.

“I love you Y/N.” Billy suddenly whispers, the subject changed. “You showed me how to love myself. And I’m going to love you forever.”

You don’t have time to respond as a noise is heard towards the entrance of the basement. You both look up, Billy not knowing who will enter while you’ve been waiting for him.

Your brother walks in. Frank Castle. The Punisher. Dressed in jeans and boots donned with a light jacket over his shirt. His face is a dark black and blue, evidence of the day before’s previous fight.

You sigh. Knowing time is up. The man you loved has been gone since the day he planned to murder your brother. Since the day he caused your brother's family to be murdered. Left was an imposter. Someone who put on a façade and pretended everything was right and as it should be

You run your hand through his short hair one more time. You missed his long locks, how a piece would fall onto his forehead every now and again and you’d pull at it to tease him. You swallow and raise, walking over to your brother who now stands in front of Billy

“Frankie.” Billy says, laughter leaving him.

The laughs quickly become coughs, blood leaving his mouth.

Billy shakes his head, surprisingly showing laughter in his eyes. “You don’t look so good.”

Frank stares at Billy. Eyes full of hate. Hate towards the man that caused his sister so much heartache. Hate to the man who tried to kill him. Hate to the man who is responsible for his wife, his children’s, deaths.

“Of course it’s you.” Billy states. “I should’ve known.”

Frank doesn’t say a word. He reaches into the back of his jeans and pulls out his gun. Silencer on and now aimed, Frank glances at you, silently asking if there’s anything else you need to say or do.

“I loved you too.” You breathe out, a sob escaping you as tears rush down your face.

With that, Frank pulls the trigger.

[pinkandlilacroses]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Angel - Paige bueckers

part 6

• summary {in which an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}

• warnings {angst, it gets cute at the end tho}

averys pov

“avery why cant we tell them” azzi yells, this has been our third fight this week about this topic

“azzi you know why we cant” i say, sternly

“no i dont, thats why im asking”

“azzi, bellas in the other room. shut up” i say

“ok, fuck you” say says, walking out

azzis pov

azzi

- u home

paige

- pls dont come

- stay with avery please

azzi

- im coming

fuck paige has been weird lately, and she wont tell me

its definitely something with bella

i don’t know how bella doesn’t notice

paige is in love with her

“azzi what did i say” paige says, yelling, tears flooding her eyes and the neck of her shirt

“paige whats happening” i say, genuinely concerned for my best friend

she begins wailing. i’ve never seen her cry like this before

i quickly wall up and embrace her

“i fucked it” she says, barley getting her words out

“i want her and ill never be able to make her mine” she continues

“bella?” i question

“yes” she says, raising her voice

“im calling her”

“no, azzi, no, please don’t. please” she says, pleading, her voice growing louder

“paige, you need to talk to her. i’ve never seen you like this before” i say, authoritatively

“she hates me”

azzi is calling bella

“hey bella”

“hey”

“can you come over”

“yeah ill come now”

call ended

“paige this is a good thing, you guys need to talk”

bellas pov

i know this is about paige

id be lying if i said i was fine about this situation

i’m reality, i’ve been crying. everyday. at any given opportunity

i dont have any resentment towards paige, even though i definitely should. i mean, what she did was fucked

and she never explained herself, all she could say is “i cant do it” like what the fuck does that mean

knock, fuck i should leave

knock, i hate her

knock, no i dont

“hey bella” azzi says, bringing me into her embrace. i know azzi and avery are dating, but they cant tell anyone because avery cheated on jake with azzi, and she hates what she did. but she truly does love the girl, cute. i hate love

“paige is in her room”

walking towards paiges room, nerves surprisingly aren’t present. i felt calm, normal

“who is it” paige yells, across the door

“bella” i say, yelling back

paiges pov

“shit shit shit” i say to myself, i look awful. i didn’t think she would actually show up

i’ve been crying for what feels like years, and i finally can get everything off my chest. but i’m more terrified than ever before

she opens the door. fuck

“hey paige” she says softly, i cant bear to look at her. i dont want to see how she has effected me

“paige look at me” she says, sitting down next to me, leaning over. hand on my knee

i look at her

shock plastered on her face

she says nothing, bringing me close and wrapping her arms around me, protectively

“im so sorry” i say into her chest

“paige its ok, im not mad”

“yes you are, i fucked up” i say, tears beginning to form again

she moves so we are face to face, her laying on top of me

“you dont know how bad i want you bella, but i’m, i’m scared” i say, i’ve never been this vulnerable with a girl before. i feel weak

“paige its ok, theres no pressure” she says, reassuringly

“i know you dont feel the same, thats why ive been so down”

“how do you know, paige” she says, sternly. contrasting her previous tone

“it’s obvious” i say. is it?

“no its not, i want you the same amount that you want me” she says, staring intently into my tear filled eyes, that are forming once again

“really” i say, genuinely confused

“yes” she says, slightly laughing

this cant be real, how, what, when, where, why.

after everything i’ve done, she still likes me?

“paige, you there” she says, commenting on my spacing out

“are you sure” i say, coming back to reality

she responds by gently pressing her lips to my own

this kiss was different than any others i’ve experience, its sweet, loving. reflecting of how i feel about her, and i guess how she feels about me.

[shadyufo]

How much do you like selling on Etsy? I've been thinking about opening up a shop to sell my own taxidermy art on there. It's just that I've heard Etsy is known for shutting down shops randomly and people keep saying that Etsy's "dying"/on a downward slope. I also heard there are a lot of scammers... What are your thoughts?

Hi Anon!

My feelings about Etsy have definitely gotten sorta complicated over the last few years.

First of all, I love my little shop. I love getting to interact with so many sweet and lovely folks and I love getting to send my art and oddities all over the country. I’ve sold pieces through Etsy that have ended up in museums and classrooms, as props in movies and television shows, that have been centerpieces in peoples’ weddings, that were birthday gifts for little kids just getting into nature and science, and so many other neat and wonderful places with some really awesome people who I am forever grateful to for supporting my shop.

That said, in my opinion, Etsy is definitely not what it used to be and there are plenty of things I wish they would do differently to make the site better for sellers and buyers. I think their search feature needs a total revamp and they also need to crack down on all the sellers flooding the site with mass-produced merchandise. Their recent decision that AI-made content is totally fine by them is another serious bummer and a slap in the face to the real artists using their platform. The list goes on.

In spite of all that, if you want to open an online shop, then Etsy is still probably the best site to do it on, at least starting out. It’s a trusted, household name and they have millions of users from all around the world so you are going to be getting much more traffic than if you were just starting your own site from scratch without any sort of social media following.

You'll still likely want to grow a social media presence (if you haven't already) to help drive traffic to your site rather than rely on Etsy alone for this. A great deal of my own shop's traffic comes from Tumblr and what little I post on other social media. This is something I really should be better about as I've kinda shot myself in the foot by not utilizing them more over the years...but I just really don't like using TikTok or Instagram haha.

From what I’ve seen, vulture culture stuff-wise, Etsy mostly gets mad at folks who sell wet specimens or other more “gruesome” type of oddities and don’t blur the main listing photo or do something similar to warn folks that it could be something they might find upsetting. They also prohibit the sale of some animal parts that are perfectly legal to buy and sell provided you follow the laws around them. So if a seller was listing some of those items, while legal elsewhere, that might have gotten them in trouble with Etsy. Here's a list of what they don't allow. And here's a more specific list of their prohibited animal parts. Note bear, wolf, and zebra are on the list—it's perfectly legal to sell parts from some of these animals in some places provided you follow the laws around doing so, but Etsy doesn't allow it at all. I've had them remove listings for domestic dog and cat skulls in the past as well—the law there is in regards to selling dog and cat fur (which is illegal in the US) but Etsy seemed to think it covers bones as well which it does not.

As for scammers, don't click on suspicious links anyone sends you and watch out for people wanting to contact you outside of Etsy. Don’t swap phone numbers, email addresses, etc with people. Etsy has guides on their site on what to watch out for that it’d be good to read through.

So all of that to say that if you want to start selling your work online then I think Etsy is most likely going to be the best place to do it, at least starting out. If you want to just dip your toes in the market before opening an Etsy shop though you can always try posting a few items here or there on Instagram or one of the oddities selling groups on Facebook but in my experience at least, Etsy is still the best way to go. Then, once you build up a following, you can always start your own site or branch out beyond Etsy if you want to.

I wish you all the best, Anon! Hope you find wild success selling your work wherever you decide to do it <3

[my-mt-heart]

Where's Daryl?

This was very difficult to write. It opened up a lot of old wounds for me, so if you read this, thank you. If my thoughts on this show haven’t been your cup of tea, that’ll most definitely be the case here as well, so maybe just move along. ***Trigger warning for discussion of childhood abuse***

For about a year and a half, Caryl fans asked Where's Carol? as a pointed reminder that the spinoff was always meant to be hers just as much as it was Daryl’s. Even though she's back now, her fans didn't always know she would be (nor did the EP's 🙄) so her absence during filming and promotion of the first season was a heavy burden to bear. The irony is, though “Daryl Dixon” sticks out like a sore thumb in that ridiculous font, he's the one who feels absent sometimes, as if important parts of his character development were lost when he washed ashore while other parts come and go as the plot demands.

Zabel talks about swapping Daryl's iconic vest for "old man" suspenders as a matter of pragmaticism i.e. they were the only clean clothes available. Norman says it was a choice he wanted for some unclear reason, but neither of them seem to consider the intelligence of their audience, particularly Carylers, to see it more symbolically. The costume change is our visual reminder that Daryl isn't himself. In some scenes he's chattier than he should be, far more trusting of strangers with personal details, and far more theatrical. Then in others, the differences are even more alarming. He calls a child cruel names, puts his hands on him, and feels conflicted about returning home to his family, to the woman he said he loved.

I mentally prepared myself for retcons, but the one I'm struggling with a lot right now, which I haven't seen anyone bring up yet, is the retcon of Daryl’s childhood abuse. Daryl tells Isabelle that he and Merle had to take apart engines and if they couldn't put them back together, their dad wouldn't let them have dinner. It's a milder version of the stories the scars on his back tell us, though I can buy Daryl omitting the worst of it like he did in the pilot. What I can't buy is Daryl saying his dad was "hardly ever" around and emphasizing it as the main source of his pain growing up. It feels contradictory for one thing. When we see Daryl's scars for the first time in S3 of the flagship show, it's implied Daryl was trapped in an environment that enabled his dad to physically hurt him often. Presumably that's why Merle felt guilty about leaving him behind. The revelation also seems like it's only intended to highlight the consequences of an absent father figure, explaining Daryl's fear of not making it home, but also justifying his "close" bond with Laurent. The best stories allow a character's emotions to drive the plot, but this just does the opposite, twisting Daryl's backstory to fit the current narrative.

Daryl's backstory made so many people root for him in the first place. It allowed Carol to see him when nobody else in the group could. It helped me process my own childhood trauma. The ways I got to watch him overcome his violent past gave me hope that masculinity could mean more than what I grew up around—more than anger, shouting, and swinging fists. Daryl taught me that men could still be tender, kind, and loving even if those closest to them in their childhood never showed them how. I imagine Daryl's representation has been important to boys and men too, specifically to those who were afraid to speak up about their abuse because of the stigma around it. The implications of this scene may not be easily noticeable to some, but they are to me, and I'm deeply offended by it.

I’ve talked at length on this blog about how it takes a village to make or break a show, though it’s usually the showrunner who has to answer for it. I've already mentioned that I do blame Zabel. His knowledge of French history has no value when he obviously didn’t bother to study Daryl’s history aside from reading old scripts and (maybe) watching the first couple seasons. That's incredibly irresponsible and terrifying for S2. I also blame AMC for their short-sightedness and their determination to save face no matter how much it costs them. I blame Gimple for his pettiness. I blame Greg Nicotero for his insensitivity to Melissa and her fans.

As for Norman, he's hinted very loudly that he wants credit for the show being "different," so in theory he should be prepared to take some of the blame too. I can't name all of the decisions he specifically made, but no matter what they were, I can blame him for not speaking up about the shipbaiting, Daryl's wavering loyalty, and the childhood abuse retcon, all things that hurt his character and hurt the fans. I genuinely don't know what else to think other than Norman didn't give either the consideration they deserve. The show has been treated like nothing more than a vanity project, and it’s unfortunate when you think about what he and AMC had to gain from the original Caryl spinoff.

I love the version of Daryl I knew before this whole mess, I love Carol, and I love the relationship between them. I want them to have the story they deserve in S2. At the moment, I don’t know how to reconcile that with the agony I feel over the damages to half of my two favorite characters. If Carol is going to cross the Atlantic ocean to find Daryl, I want him to be the man who threatened to punch holes in all the boats so she couldn’t leave and the man who told her he loved her before—ironically—leaving himself. I need to hear Daryl admit he hasn't been completely honest with the French characters, not because he was afraid of getting too close to them, but because he didn't want to face the pain of potentially living without Carol and TF. I need to hear him say that he can't be Laurent's father, which is okay because the kid has plenty of other family to take care of him. I need to hear him say, out loud, that he could never love another woman romantically because he's already in love with Carol. That's what I need to feel better about this story. That's where my investment is. I feel like Carol is safe in Melissa's hands, but I don't feel like I have anyone to rely on for Daryl. That’s a big problem because their stories are so intertwined. There’s no Daryl without Carol nor Carol without Daryl. If you ruin one of them, you risk ruining both of them, and that’s a possibility I really can’t bear.

[thesapphireprincess]

Let’s talk about doing the damn thing

By doing the damn thing I mean actually working toward your goals with physical action

What is it that you want in your life? What do you truly want that will make you happy? I’ll tell you what I want. I want to be able to come home without a single worry about my necessities in life but it is more than that. I want to be able to walk into any store and not worry about the price tag, a life of abundance. I want to be able to wake up to an alarm by choice, I want the alarm to go off because I want to wake up at a certain time not because I have to be at this job at a certain time in order to keep a roof over my head. This is what I want. I want to be my own boss and run my own business, this is what I want. What is it that you want?

It’s always been my dream to be my own boss and run my own company since I was 9 years old. I am now 23 and I got a little lost through out the years, nothing too heavy just being surrounded by the wrong people. I always wondered why when I would cut off every toxic person in my life I would suddenly be focused on my future but then another test would come and I would fail that test and be lost again and unhappy. Friend groups are not for me. Friend groups are usually toxic and full of so much unnecessary drama. I always felt left out in friend groups. I think I’m meant to be solo until I am so stuck on my path that it would take a literal meteor to knock me off. I prefer to have friends but not a friend group. At the moment I don’t have any friends because as you can probably guess I cut them all off. While I’ve been in Texas I haven’t made any solid friends. The people I’ve met haven’t been too consistent but ig that is for the best. I am not meant to have friends right now. I would like to have a few friends but I want true friends not fake ones. If I was meant to have friends right now I would simply have them, am I right?

Let’s get into the main topic of this post “doing the damn thing”. Just recently I’ve come into myself in a way that I’ve never before. Being content with who I am and where I am. I didn’t say comfortable I said content. Even though I am content with myself I’m still looking for ways to improve and grow in every way possible in order to reach my goals. There are things that I need to do and that I am working on in order to create my dream life. I hope this makes sense. Ik what I need to do to be successful and I need to do more than that. I need to push myself harder not like a working mule because never that. I mean I can feel that I am being lazy in certain areas that I shouldn’t be lazy in. It’s a slight adjustment and it’s not going to burn me. Pushing myself to work towards my goals is so important to me. I want to stick to a schedule, be organized and realistic with myself. I want a balance of work, rest and fun. I’ve been dabbling too much in the rest part so it’s not balanced. I will fix this in time. I have figured out a good schedule and now I just have to try it out.

I want to be able to date the kind of men I want to date. I want to be taken out to really nice places with men who are well dressed, handsome, wealthy, generous, smart, and kind. A gentleman. I have the image of the kind of men I want to date and eventually be with but in return I have to become a women of means. Turning myself into who I’ve always imagined myself to be is something I want. I want to be seen as a woman not a girl. Becoming her requires not only beauty but brains and trust me I have the beauty thing down. I am working on the other half, the brains. Me becoming my Dream version has nothing to do with a man btw but I definitely don’t want to be single forever. I want to be in a healthy relationship and I’m not going to pretend that I’m perfectly ok with being alone for the rest of my life or being 40 with no husband or kids. If that’s what you want that’s fine but that’s not what I want. When I am 40 I want to have a husband or 40 with a husband and kids no in betweens. I want to get married in my mid or late 20’s and then maybe have kids in my early 30’s. I deserve love and I deserve to be with the man of my dreams. Hello like attracts like. I’m done dating men who aren’t what I truly want. I want a Bruce Wayne archetype minus the mommy and daddy issues. I mean the look: dark hair, handsome, young and wealthy. A Mentally healthy and wealthy man. I want someone kind and adventurous with the means to give me and show me true romance. I want someone who can give me a life worth truly living. I want the career, the husband, the lifestyle and family of my dreams. So I will become the woman of me dreams. I’m only 23 and a lot can happen in a year especially with hard work. I refuse to be stagnant in life, I refuse to waste my youth doing nothing and I refuse to waste all the opportunities life has to offer when you choice to knock on the door of your dreams. With all of this being said, stop being stagnant. Stop wasting your time and do the damn thing.

[starlightiing]

☕️You play stardew valley, right? Is it fun, I’ve seen mentions of it so many times recently.

send me a ☕️ and a topic and i’ll talk about how i feel about it

Stardew Valley!

Stardew Valley, in my humble opinion, is tons of fun! It's a farming sim that does basically quite literally everything you could want it to do and more. The music is fantastic, as well, just as an aside. There's low-key dungeon crawling, there's farming, there's livestock, there's ways for you to make artisan goods, there's exploring, there's collecting/foraging, fishing mini games, tons and tons and tons of sidequests, and generally (especially for a new player) content that will last you YEARS.

It is one of the most chill, happy peaceful vibe games that exists out there.

It's definitely not for everyone - you have to be into that sort of game or it can potentially be a bit 'boring' I guess? But mods do spice things up a bit if you play on PC. And you can play the game ANY way you want with no rules, and cater to the experience you personally want to have.

It's groundbreaking - especially for a game that costs like, what, $12 US? It has more content (that gets updated with free add-ons and shit) than most games people pay $70+ USD for. I think one of my files has like 890 hours on it -hides face- but it's a great anxiety relief game. It's so cute. The relationships are complex and adorable. When you finally get to the point of marrying a spouse it gets a little dull, because the spouses don't do much once you're married to them, but the chase of the relationship is a lot of fun and the little "heart event scenes" are really cute. I think you get one every 2 hearts you grow with a character?

But yeah the basis is your grandfather has passed and left you his entire farm and his little cabin. You come to Stardew Valley and reclaim this overrun land and make a bangin' farm (if you want to) and make grandpa proud.

I highly recommend it if this type of game is your style. There are so many things to say about stardew that I can't physically put them all into one post, but it's a lot of fun.

I couldn't help myself making a Stardew Valley AU for F1 fanfic!!

@abovecalamity

[average-dragon-enjoyer64]

honestly, props to Asagiri and the anime directors. I have pretty bad empathy deficiency bc of the ‘tism, and I find it hard to feel emotions for fictional characters. I’ve only ever felt sad about the dog dying in fiction.

This is the first time I have genuinely been prompted to be sad because of a story. Anything else I’ve felt towards other medias could be shut off easily and was often confused with already existing depressive episodes, but if chapter 110 didn’t hurt me enough, the season 5 episode 10 did.

It goes to show how much meticulousness and raw passion Asagiri and Harukawa put into the story, and the individual developments of each and every character, as well as interweaving their respective identities, both fictional and real, into beautifully crafted relationships between one another. It’s the kind of story that I feel safe to hyperfixate on: an abundance of content, and the little easily missable details that often actually mean something.

While I’m no fan of sadness (as no one is, I should believe), the emotions that I have felt for each character have puzzled even myself - someone who is honest with themselves about their feelings due to it being a matter of safety and necessity rather than preference. Spending hours thinking about not only my current conundrum with the story, but also the way that it makes me feel, are some of the most valuable and precious times in my mind. I have had the privilege of watching characters grow through their trauma and flourish, and they have unwittingly triggered my own personal growth through the smallest of questions, like: Why do I dislike Dazai if he is a fan favourite? Why is he a fan favourite? What led to Kouyou being so sure that darkness can never be cured? Specifically, in that one flashback scene? Why does everyone dismiss Dazai’s suicidal tendencies so easily? Why don’t I like Kunikida? Who is Sigma, really? Nikolai knows much more than he actually expresses; what is he hiding? Literally everything about Fyodor…

While I’ve often seen my own feelings as more of a restriction - a burden that holds myself and others back, this story (and therapy) has brought so much clarity to my struggles. Even hearing some characters say things that have struck a chord with me because I had the same thoughts many years ago, and sometimes I still do.

The sadness that this brought me was a delicate blend of a burning passion and the end of a piano piece - nostalgic, and yet wishing that, hoping that, believing that, it’s still there. A small flicker persistent through thick and thin as the walls around it were burnt and discarded. So small that it is clear that there are only two possibilities: to relight it and allow it to rage as a forest fire, or to quietly quell it, and think of it every now and then, wondering if it was the right decision. Whether the flame will be revived of drenched, one thing is certain; this is a turning point, and the decision must be made immediately. That sense of urgency coupled with wishing one didn’t have to choose brings such a soft and calm ache in the heart. Tired, exhausted even, but still there is the last spark that will surely be extinguished if not supported immediately. A spark of longing, hoping, and dawning understanding.

I can’t even figure out what other people are feeling, let alone a fictional character, especially one as cryptic as Dazai. Still, there is no doubt in my mind that this is definitely his worst case scenario, the last outcome, the result that existed only in his ignored and downtrodden nightmares.

The elaborateness of his emotions are so clearly and yet fully portrayed that I can’t help but admire it, especially because I have so much trouble expressing emotions myself. Whether or not Dazai survives will not hinder the effect that Bungou Stray Dogs has had on me, and I will continue to support it in the future. After all, while I do like Dazai as a character, there is still much more I wish to learn about in more detail. I want to know more about Kouyou, Gin, Verlaine, Tecchou, Teruko, Yosano, Jouno, and the others.

It is cruelly ironic to me, that a series about dead authors with superpowers could comfort me and help me more than anyone around me ever did when I was in my fundamental growing years. Very few characters in Bungou Stray Dogs have confirmed disabilities (aside from some form of trauma), and yet I have been able to grow and understand them, and see them in myself in a way that no one ever could ever do to me thus far in real life.

Also it stopped me from keeping attempting suicide because Dazai did it as well and I did not want to associate myself with him in any way, shape or form. Hey, whatever works.

[natlacentral]

DALLAS LIU SEES YOUR TIKTOK THIRST-TRAP EDITS OF HIM

Dallas Liu may be playing the Zuko in Netflix’s live-action adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender, but you won’t catch him with the Fire Nation prince’s restrictive, gravity-defying ponytail in real life. 

“I would never, ever out of my own personal choice rock the ponytail. It’s a haircut that not even cosplayers are willing to take on,” he tells NYLON. “I can gladly say that I would not recommend it to anyone.” But the 22-year-old actor does admit to what fans of the original animated series have known since the show debuted back in 2015: “The ponytail does look super badass on screen.”

Liu says he knew the challenge of bringing such a beloved character to life, but not only did he grow up watching the animated series and loving the Fire Nation prince for his fierce loyalty, but the show inspired him to start practicing martial arts. Ahead, Liu takes on the NYLON 19, revealing his thoughts on ghosts (or “spirits,” as he prefers to call them), TikTok thirst-trap edits of himself, and more.

1. WHAT’S YOUR ASTROLOGICAL SIGN (AND DO YOU BELIEVE IN IT)?

I am a Leo! Unfortunately, I don’t believe in it because of my experience meeting people with the same birthday, but us being different personality-wise.

2. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS (AND HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ONE)?

Yes, most definitely. Although I think the word “spirits” would be a better way to define it. I’ve never seen one — thank God — but I have felt uneasy in very old hotels or rooms that have a very long history.

3. WHO WOULD BE THE THREE HEADLINERS OF THE MUSIC FESTIVAL OF YOUR DREAMS?

Dominic Fike, Beach House, and Sade.

4. WHAT'S A BAD HABIT OF YOURS THAT YOU'VE BEEN MEANING TO FIX?

Honestly, I’m so bad at parking my car. Not that I’m bad at driving, but when it comes to parallel parking or even in a parking lot, I don’t put much thought into it.

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST INTERNET RABBIT HOLE YOU WENT DOWN?

I spend too many nights doom-scrolling on Instagram or TikTok, but it was probably a compilation of Avatar: The Last Airbender lore.

6. DESCRIBE YOUR WORST DATE IN THREE WORDS OR PHRASES.

Short, McDonald’s, Black Ice Car Freshener

7. WHAT WAS THE LAST DM YOU RECEIVED?

My friend sent me a TikTok thirst-trap edit of myself this morning which was interesting.

8. IF YOU COULD BE IN ANY MUSIC VIDEO, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

I would have to say either the music video for Bow Wow’s “Let Me Hold You” or Chris Brown’s “Yo (Excuse Me Miss)” just because the music videos in the ‘00s were just built differently.

9. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT, AND WHAT ARE YOUR MEMORIES OF IT?

Daniel Caesar performing in LA for his Case Study 01: Tour. It was my first one, so I remember everything about it. At the time, he was taking the music industry by storm and I was a major fan, so that concert was everything to me. I also was introduced to how much of a different experience listening to live music is.

10. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE AS A KID?

The Polar Express.

11. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MEME/INTERNET JOKE AND WHY?

The personality that comes with wearing a fedora. It’s always funny to me and forever will be. Maybe one day I’d get to play a character that wears a fedora. Maybe Zuko.

12. WHAT'S YOUR GO-TO BREAKUP SONG?

“I Gotta Find Peace of Mind” by Lauryn Hill.

13. WHAT IS ONE THING EVERYONE SHOULD BUY THAT IS UNDER $10?

A sweet latte with oat milk from Blue Bottle. A must. Just try it. It’s so good. I could live off of it.

14. WHAT PIECE OF CLOTHING FROM HIGH SCHOOL DO YOU WISH YOU KEPT?

My vintage Green Day shirt. It had the perfect shade of a faded black and the fit of it was immaculate.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF SHOES THAT YOU OWN, AND WHY?

Military boots because they look the coolest.

16. WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO SAD SONG?

Anything by Elliott Smith or Duster.

17. WHAT REALITY SHOW WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO APPEAR ON?

Love Island UK.

18. WHAT IS YOUR BEST BEAUTY TIP OR TRICK?

Korean skincare products.

19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FAST-FOOD PLACE, AND WHAT’S YOUR ORDER?

Wingstop: four lemon pepper classic and four original hot classic, all flats. Lemon pepper seasoned fries cooked well done. A side of ranch and bleu cheese. Root beer.

[destinyc1020]

Hi 👋🏽 lurker here. I love your page but honestly feel too grown to comment on tumblr most of the time 😂

just wanted to chime in to say the biracial/black women convo is important and I really appreciate your perspective. I’m around Zendaya’s age, (slightly) older and I’m also a (biracial) light skinned black woman. Same foundation shade as Zendaya actually 😂. I can tell you this discourse was not a thing growing up. We were black, considered black by society, etc. it wasn’t until the past 5 years that I’ve seen people feel the need to distinguish us as “biracials” and honestly it has been a little hurtful and neglects our experiences as biracial black people. Yes we have privilege, absolutely. Now that I live in a city, I feel that more readily. I was also raised around a lot of white people so I can adapt fluidly in white spaces, which has been immensely helpful in my career. But all grass isn’t always greener on the other side, if that makes sense.

For example, I grew up in a rural sundown town. Guess what? I was the only black person many of them had ever seen, and on top of that being biracial made me, and I quote, an “abomination”. Can’t tell you how many times I heard that growing up. And I imagine even in hollywood there are remnants of some of that (less harsh) sentiment there. Is Zendaya privileged and does she have access to more roles because she’s lighter? Yes. Is she still probably fighting off “stereotypical” castings, being met with executives who say “a black star won’t make us money in China/Korea/europe/whatever”, is she offered less than her white counterparts, probably also yes. I think it’s important that we can acknowledge that Zendaya (and light skinned black people) is more privileged but I get so salty when I see people try to strip her of her identity or overly criticize her because she’s “not black enough”. I feel like the discourse around biracial people in particular has been on fire in recent years. I can understand the frustration people feel with society around light skinned folks and I absolutely admit that some light skinned folks abuse their privilege or don’t give back, but the discourse is really stripping us of our identity as BLACK people. I’m a black woman, society sees me as such and I am PROUD to be a black woman. Having one white parent doesn’t erase that from my identity.

hopefully people don’t take this the wrong way, but thanks again for your take. Love your blog!

First off, thank you so much for your sweet and kind words about my blog Anon. 🥰 I appreciate it!

I also wanted to say thank you so much for providing your views and your input as a biracial black woman. As a monoracial black woman myself, I can't personally know first-hand how it feels or what biracial black women experience in this country. It's nice to hear the "other side of the coin" for a change.

You and I are probably around the same age, and you're right, growing up there wasn't such a huge demarcation line btwn who is "black" and who is "biracial". Back then, everyone was just considered "black" if you have "one drop" of black blood lol. 😂 But over the past few years or so, there's really been a strong desire for some to classify. I get it... I think biracial black women (especially) do get a bit more favorable treatment in society and people tend to treat them differently, and they're deemed more "beautiful", etc. Not always, but a lot of times the underlying current is there, and it can be frustrating for those of us who are monoracial black to constantly see society uplifting ONE type of beauty over the other. I can see why some want to "clarify" or put certain people in a box.

I think everyone's experiences might be unique just simply due to their skin tone, or even how someone looks, attractiveness levels, size, region of the country they're living in, etc. So, there are a LOT of factors, so I totally get it.

With that said, I totally agree that while it is definitely frustrating to see certain ones in the "Black Community" being given opportunities more than others, at the same time, we really don't know what some of these "lighter-skinned" actresses have had to endure, what they're being told, or how they can be made to feel like an "other" or a "token" for some of them. 🤷🏾‍♀️

My main gripe with Hollywood is that it seems as though monoracial YOUNG black women are constantly being ignored in the industry. 😔 Growing up, I used to at least be able to name some popular monoracial black women who were famous/popular. We at least had Keke, isn't Raven black? lol..... But now days?? It's very hard to even see monoracial black women (young) who are given lead roles in mainstream films.... We're RARELY playing the lead, or even the love interest. 🥴

A lot of roles meant for "black women" are going to biracials lol. Again, I'm not mad (I love to see a fellow woc getting some shine), but it would just be nice to see some black women onscreen who look more like ME, and who are around my age. Yea, it's nice seeing Lupita Nyong'o (for example), or Angela Bassett (who I LOVE!), Kiki Layne, Janelle Monet, etc.... but every now and then, it would just be nice to see some younger monoracial black women who look like myself on the major screen again. 😔 Anyway, let me stop rambling....

[lemoncrushh]

https://www.tumblr.com/lemoncrushh/759719935893241856/ive-been-curious-about-this-for-a-while-and?source=share

hiya! I’m 19 so thought I’d share my view on this as someone who is kinda lower on the age spectrum. Honestly I think social media doesn’t have an age limit, and I think it shouldn’t. I think the younger generation is grouped with social media because we grew up with it, but 30/40 year olds still evolved with social media. Sure we have had it our whole lives, but 30/40 year olds have had it just as long as we had it so there’s no need to take it away from them.

I think fans are perfectly okay aswell! As long as they are not overly obsessive and recognise that fan fiction isn’t an accurate depiction of a person-but that is something that every fanfic reader should realise. It kinda scares me how fandoms work and how boundaries disappear but that’s not necessarily an age thing- that’s more general!

I do however believe that there are certain fan activities that certain age groups should not engage in. Like I’ve seen some older fanfic writers write *things* about young actresses and actors around and LOWER then my age and I feel as though that should be a concern.

Hi hon, thank you so much for your input!

I'm glad you said that about social media because that was one of the concerns I had. I worry that younger people like to claim the internet as their own, and older people are not welcome or should not be a part of it. Which is funny to me, because I've been using it for much longer and like you said, have evolved with it.

As for fandoms and fanfiction, I completely agree. And again, sometimes I worry that younger fans want Harry to themselves, particularly when it comes to fanfiction. And like you're talking about, I fear they may be taking it a bit too seriously and forgetting it's fantasy. Obviously, I know that's not everyone. But I've been writing and reading Harry fic for nearly ten years now, and believe me, I have seen it happen. Even outside of fanfiction, tbh. Case in point - girls being jealous and saying hateful things about any woman Harry is seen with. I think Taylor Russell may have been the first girl I didn't see a lot of hate for, but that may also be because of the people I follow now.

And as an older fan, I do sometimes have to second guess myself when it comes to writing. Like, is this inappropriate coming from me? I hope it's not, but I suppose if it's not your vibe, you can always scroll past or unfollow. I have most definitely written smut about 19 year old Harry (because c'mon), but that's kind of where I draw the line for myself. I have written a cute one shot about teenage Harry (like 16), but it was purely innocent about a teen crush and a sweet kiss at the end. It would be the same as me watching a movie or reading a YA book. Also, I mean...I was a teenager at one point lol. I can still relate.

So I guess my point (and reason for that post) is that I hope I don't come off creepy in any way. I try my best to show my ever-growing love and respect for Harry while also sharing my love for fic.

Anyway, I appreciate your mature attitude, and thank you for sending this :).