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normal-thoughts-official · 1 year

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Character ask thing with Joe

Ugh I love you /platonic

favorite thing about them

Hmm how to choose. I guess I'll repeat myself and say, once again, the way he feels everything so intensely as if it's the first time. The fact that he has lived for nearly a thousand years and still experiences everything with such intensity, such fresh eyes, such delight at being alive and sadness at everything that's unfair is just. Really admirable to me? And makes him really interesting as a character. The way that he's a formidable warrior but is a lover not a fighter, but the fact that he's a lover just makes him a stronger and more intense fighter... Yeah

least favorite thing about them

not to be a stan but I genuinely can't think of anything about him I dislike. I guess his lack of screentime? Lol

favorite line

"you and Nicky always had each other. And all we had was our grief" "well, now you have even more"

everyone talks about how devastating Nicky is with just a few words (and it's true, he is and it's iconic) but Joe is just as good. Everything he says to Booker in that scene is so cutting and to the point and perfect. He doesn't minimize Booker's suffering but he doesn't allow for his bullshit either. He breaks through Booker's entire self pitying tirade in such a cutting, objective way that there's not much else Booker can even say. And he's right, he does have even more, because that's what it's all about, whether or not you move on, and ugh, it's just so good

brOTP

Joe and Nile forever and ever. Give me art nerd bros!!! Give me Joe and Nile bonding over being the only POC in the group. Give me Joe and Nile being able to understand parts of each other no one else in the group does or can, because their experience is different. Give me Joe and Nile being a breath of fresh air to each other because they both wear their heart on their sleeves, they're both earnest and genuine and still openly in love with the world and the new experiences they can have while everyone else is kind of used to everything by now. Joe and Nile both not really being fighters at heart (in the comics Nile says she went to the army so she could go to college and major in art history later) and finding solace in each other. Joe and Nile getting into intense debates about art that go well into the night until the sun is rising and they're like "huh?" and sheepishly stare at Nicky when he rises to make his coffee and is all like "I trust you had an enlightening discussion, yes?" Just... Joe and Nile <3

OTP

There's really only one possible answer to this question

nOTP

Everything that's not Joe/Nicky is just weird to me but I'd have to go with Joe/Nicky/Booker. Please stop. Joe may like greasy white men but not to THAT extent (this is a joke please be normal everyone)

random headcanon

Joe has degrees in a BUNCH of different subjects, from architecture to botany, and "renews" them regularly under different aliases. His scope of interests is just very wide and every once in a while the mood will strike him to learn something apparently random and when everyone blinks Joe is getting a degree in zoology and they're just like. Alright

unpopular opinion

Not sure how unpopular this opinion is but like. Listen to me. You listen to me. I'm bisexual. I love bisexual people. My favorite thing for a character to be is bisexual. I'm out there hitting everyone in my shooting range with the bisexualizing rays, but Joe? Joe is gay, man. I'm sorry I wish he was a bicon too but there is simply no way this man is attracted to women. At the tender age of 33 this guy was crossing the ocean to go fight a war he had literally 0 business participating in, and that to me is the mark of someone who's running away from having to marry a woman. Or to run from an existing marriage which might be even gayer. Even without that I simply cannot picture him looking at a woman's body with anything more than mild disinterest. If a woman got naked in front of him he'd be like "you lost your clothes" and dress her back up with one of those sticks with mouths in them. We must accept this and embrace the fact that the tog bicon is and will always be Andy

(This is, once again, a joke. You can hc what you like. I'm not the Emperor of Fandom stopping you from enjoying whatever you want. This is just my opinion said in a humorous way because I'm a clown. Peace and love on planet Earth)

song i associate with them

Hmmm you know I actually had, like, Real Thoughts™ about this but somehow every one of them fled my mind rn. I'll go with Antenne by Bashar Murad. Just, like, the whole thing about wanting to be away from the avalanche of information and people questioning your humanity and treating your existence as a debate, you know? And wanting to have time to breathe and live in the moment. Yeah. I think that's very Joe

(If you've never listened to Bashar Murad you should give it a try btw this man is amazing. And the clip of Antenne on YouTube has English subtitles for those who don't speak Arabic)

favorite picture of them

Oh Jesus Lord how to even choose. Genuinely looking at him too long in any capacity makes me want to cry and feel insane. There is a fine line between "I'm looking at Joe and it makes me feel comforted and happy" and "I'm looking at Joe and it's making me want to explode" and I walk it every time I look at him. But I guess I can go with the one on my header

[ID: Joe sitting on a chair, reading a book. He has one leg crossed over the other and is turning to look to his side, eyebrows raised and a very faint smile on his face. End ID]

I just. Augfhhhhhhh. Psychic damage. He's so soft. I have crossed the line. Fuvk

#ask #dhiibvulk #tog #yusuf al kaysani #god the way i love him #cringe tw /joking

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strangecloud · 3 months

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I've been feeling very disillusioned with technology for a while now, and I'd like to explore why.

Believe it or not, I've always been kind of a Luddite. That might sound weird coming from a computer nerd, but I'm a computer guy first and foremost. I've been using them as long as I can remember and I even got pretty good at operating computers, going as far as tinkering and assembling some myself (which admittedly isn't that hard, but it is an uncommon skill)

Regardless of how much of a nerd I am, the level of tech in my life has always been significantly behind the curve. My components are a few generations old at best. I've been using the same phone for half a decade. I grew up gaming on a PlayStation 2 when most of the world had moved to the 7th gen. I'm about as far from cutting edge as you can be without just not caring about tech at all.

What disappoints me about technology is that it doesn't look like it's meant to make life easier for people. It's meant to exploit them.

There's not really any good reason why everything should have glitchy, unresponsive and poorly put together apps nowadays. "Smart" tech has always been smoke and mirrors driven by marketers trying to sell things nobody really needs. All these home gadgets are just as reliable and useful as the goddamn Juicero, the difference is the marketing on a lot of them is successful.

An over engineered lock on your front door isn't going to stop burglars. No lock ever will. The point of locking your things isn't to make them secure, it's to make the effort of breaking in not really worth it. That smart lock, however, might lock YOU out of your house, as already has happened to one dude from the USA if I'm not mistaken.

We've seen tech bros trying to sell people "phygital" stuff that is just augmented reality DLC powered entirely by marketing. It's not useful and does nothing, the only purpose of it being a vector to suck money out of people who are susceptible to advertising tricks. That's the same thing that drove NFTs, by the way. People being told they were inadequate for not owning a pointless product and deciding to buy it based on the optics and the zeitgeist instead of any practical function. And don't get me wrong, the people buying these things aren't necessarily the problem. I think we as a society have been conditioned to see marketing and conspicuous consumption as such an integral part of life that we have trouble even recognizing we're participating in these toxic behaviors and industries.

I think therein lies the problem. Tech isn't meant to be useful to people. It's meant to be desirable by people and useful to money. This problem manifests itself in many ways, from the theft machines we see in the AI industry, to massive amounts of toxic byproducts released by functional-yet-obsolete e-waste, to the mountain of human suffering that content moderators in big platforms have to endure just so we get pretty cat pictures on our dashboards.

I'm sure this sounds overly pessimistic but I don't think tech can come back from the capitalist event horizon that it has probably already crossed. I think eventually the quality of services and goods on the internet is going to be so bad that it'll not even be worth having it around.

While I have you, STORE YOUR THINGS LOCALLY. Don't trust cloud servers and platforms to keep your things safe for you. If you cannot hold the hard drive containing your videos and images and art and files IN YOUR HAND, it's not safe. Keep at least two separate drives with more than one copy of everything you care about each. Take it from someone who's been on the internet since 2006 and has never lost one byte of data to system formats and hard drive crashes.

#technology #computer stuff #rant post

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fasa-umich · 1 year

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Alyssa Caldito and JC Feraro, FASA's 2022 - 2023 Cultural Chairs

Let’s throw it back to Alyssa’s birthday dinner, late July 2022, at Tomukun KBBQ.

JC: Aye Alyssa, what was your favorite road growing up?

Alyssa: Gotta be Haggerty

JC: Man what you know about Haggerty?

Alyssa: I take it to go to Chick-Fil-A

JC: I bet you don’t even know about Evola Music on Haggerty tho

Alyssa: Bro?? I used to take piano lessons there

JC: Wait, no way. I did too. When did you take lessons?

Alyssa: I started in seventh grade and stopped sophomore year of high school 😳

JC: Bro we probably took lessons at the same time. Who was your teacher?

Alyssa: I can’t remember her name, but she was an old lady from Whitmore Lake.

JC: No way, Ms. Boyd??

Alyssa: Yeah that was her name!

JC: She was my teacher too! That's insane, we probably had a recital together.

Alyssa: NO WAY. LOOK AT THIS PICTURE I FOUND.

Alyssa (third from left) and JC (third from right) at the same piano recital in 2016.

For context, we grew up less than 15 minutes away from each other, in the suburbs of Metro Detroit, but we didn’t meet until we both joined FASA in Fall 2021. So, to celebrate the end of our year as Co-Cultural Chairs, here are the 5 times that we almost met growing up, and the one time that we did.

1. Piano Lessons

The first time we almost met was because we had the same piano teacher. Ms. Boyd loved duets, and always emphasized the importance of sounding harmonious. In the same light, we believe cos should work in harmony, and have a dynamic that is cohesive and conducive to success.

JC: Having a co in a position like FASA’s Cultural Chair has been one of my life’s coolest and most rewarding experiences! Maybe its just because Alyssa is so awesome, but it was always a pleasure working with her, both professionally and interpersonally. I’ll hype Alyssa up more in my thank-yous later (I have a lot to say!). What made it so easy to work with Alyssa was how good our dynamic was, and how intentional we always were with each other about aligning our visions for the position. When you have a co, it is inevitable that you will have to compromise on some things. Nobody is the same, and as partners, it is important that you are receptive to your co’s ideas and input. But what’s awesome is that usually, the best ideas come from working together! Be open-minded with your co and let ideas flow, and I promise, the end product will be so much better than anything that either of you could have done alone. A co is someone that you should be comfortable asking for help, someone you should be confident in, and someone that ideally, is your friend and will have your back. Building this kind of relationship and trust in someone is not easy, but it will come with time, and trust me, you have time- your tenure on FASA board is long. Take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to share your vision with someone, and have fun!

Alyssa aggressively pieing me at our first event: the Buwan ng Wika picnic

Alyssa: When I was initially running for board, I was torn between Service and Advocacy Chair and Cultural Chair. Honestly, getting to have a Co was a big reason as to why I chose Cultural Chair instead of S’Advocacy. I cannot emphasize enough to future Cultural Chairs to not be afraid to lean on your Co. At the end of the day, a Co-Chair is a built in support system, someone to bounce ideas off of and to work collaboratively with. When done correctly and with an open mind, your impact as Co-Cultural Chairs will be much more than the sum of both parts. JC has spoken so kindly about me, but let me hype him up a bit. JC, you have been the best Co-Cultural Chair I could ask for. You were always receptive to my ideas and feedback, always open to collaboration, and always supported me when orgo school had me in the trenches. I truly cannot imagine doing this job with anyone else.

2. Family Friends

Then, we almost met because we had the same family friend at the same time. Growing up, both of us engaged with our culture through our family friends, and these interactions helped us come to terms with our identity as Filipino Americans.

JC: Before I joined FASA, I had a very different view on what it meant to be Filipino-American than I do now. Growing up, I only really felt Filipino at home. I connected with the culture through the food I ate and the stories my parents had about being raised in the Philippines. When I left the house, I left my FilAm identity behind, and focused on assimilating as much as I could. It seemed the less Filipino I tried to be, the less the kids at school would make fun of or point out differences in the way I looked, smelled, or acted. It was only through interacting with Filipino family friends- my parent’s friends from the Philippines and their children- that I experienced something similar to what FASA would eventually provide for me. Seeing that other people experienced the same roadblocks as me, ate the same food as me, and had the same traditions as me was healing, but I only ever saw these people once or twice a year.

Since joining FASA, it has been like I was seeing those same family friends every day. I am constantly reminded that I am not alone in my journey as a Filipino American. I am constantly immersed in productive conversation about my identity and I always feel like it is a safe space to be vulnerable about my journey. Since becoming cultural chair, I have tried my best to use my position to provide others with that same privilege- I want FASA to be somewhere they can go to heal and grow in their culture, just like how it is for me.

Alunsina- the best lineage! (we are so active fr)

Alyssa: One of the best parts of sharing this position with JC has been seeing how different our experiences have been as Filipino Americans, and how they define our actions and visions. Even before college, I have always described myself as “aggressively Filipino-American.” This whole Filipino thing is kind of my whole thing–it’s the root of all of the organizations I choose to devote my time into, what I choose to study, and the aspirations that I hold. Yet, it wasn’t always like that. Before I had moved to the US, being Filipino was a given. I was constantly being surrounded by the people, the culture, and the traditions, so it was no question that I was Filipino. It wasn’t until I moved to the US and lost that guarantee that I realized what being Filipino meant. This identity is more than the teleseryes that my parents watch at home or the food that my mom cooks for me. Being Filipino, especially Filipino American means to inherit a rich history of resilience, community, selflessness, and pride. Nothing has proven that to me more than FASA. The existence of FASA is proof that we as Filipino Americans have a profound reverence for our heritage and for those who came before us–both in our families and our communities. We learn our traditional dances, we teach each other our languages, and we even go out of our way to study our history. Not only that, but FASA has shown me just how richly diverse our community is, how many stories there are within it, and the value in telling them. We are all on our own journeys in discovering and defining our identities, and I am so glad that you all have played such an integral part in mine.

S/O to my Bakunawa Babes (aka the best lineage)

3. Minh-Thu

We can’t forget the person who almost brought us together way before college: Minh-Thu. Both of us had gone to school with Minh-Thu at some point–JC going to elementary school with her, and Alyssa going to middle school and high school with her. There was even a moment in middle school where Minh-Thu had asked Alyssa, “Do you know JC Feraro?” to which the answer was a resounding no. Our separate relations with Minh-Thu make us reflect on our relationship with our friends on board.

JC: Working on FASA board has been a super unique experience, because of how tight knit and close everyone is with each other. When I walk into a board meeting, the first thing I see are the faces of my friends, not my co-workers. Despite this, we maintain a (mostly) professional culture when approaching FASA related business and board meetings. Our ability to do this makes me more confident in my friendships with those on board. I have learned something from all of my friends on board, so here are some messages to them!

Amanda, you taught me the importance of inclusivity and inspired me through your empathetic approach to building relationships. Celeste, you have helped me realize the importance of reaching out to people you care about and standing up for what you believe in. Justine, I try to emulate your time management skills and infectious positive attitude. Sophie, watching you juggle finances from so many different sources this year has made me want to get my organizational skills in check. Alyssa, your proactive and get-things-done-early approach to our position has made my job a lot easier, and has made me confident in every single endeavor we have taken on. Angeli, the way you are able to articulate your thoughts and opinions so clearly inspires my approach to communication. Andrew you are one of the most humble people I know, you have endless talent, from music, to art, to science, to smash bros, and honestly I rarely hear anything about it from you- its always someone else hyping you up! Kyle, you have been my favorite person to collaborate with this year, and I’d love to be as easy to work with as you. Mikey, I admire your ability to unapologetically be yourself in both social and professional contexts- I aspire to be as candid as you. Ashley, I appreciate your no-nonsense and diligent approach to your position; your transparency, clear intentions, and communication is something I’d like to emulate. Bryson, you might be the easiest person to talk to that I have ever met, and I appreciate your open-mindedness and non-judgmental approach to friendship. Caitlin, your presence always makes me want to have more fun than I initially planned, your energy is infectious and the way you stand firm on your ideas is inspiring. Christian, your willingness to help others in their pursuit of success, either personally or within the bounds of FASA, is extremely obvious and greatly appreciated. Finally Emily, I’m not sure if I have ever seen someone work so hard and maintain such a gracious attitude- you are the definition of consistency and persistence.

Alyssa: I think that one of the hardest parts of leaving my role as Cultural Chair has been saying goodbye to this year’s E-Board. We have grown so much together, both as friends and as leaders in our community, and I am so blessed to have worked with a team like you all. No matter what comes in the future, you guys will always be my E-Board and will always be an essential part of my journey in FASA. My advice to future E-Board members: remember that you are board before you are your chair. When you are elected to E-Board, it’s easy to get very tunnel visioned on your events, your vision, and your responsibilities as your chair, but part of working on E-Board is being a pillar of support for each other. Every event that we put on, every program we executed, and external trip we went on has been a team effort, and what we had to give to FASA always extended past the duties and responsibilities of our individual chairs.

To future Cultural Chairs, do not be afraid to lean on your board–along with your Co-Chair, they will be your strongest asset! Especially with PCN planning, which may seem like a daunting task for two people, remember that you have your entire E-Board ready to help you, whether that be with designing the most jaw-dropping photobooth, to applying to grants, and even designing the seating chart for the night. Get to know your board, their strengths, their weaknesses, and what helps them feel supported. These little things will help you all go a long way. :)

Our very first meeting as 2022-2023 FASA E-Board! Who would’ve thought that we’d be here almost a year later…

4. IKEA

Once again, we almost met because we both live close to our favorite store, IKEA. If you’ve ever stepped foot into an IKEA, then you also know that they have a huge warehouse where you can pick up the tools and parts to build the furniture that you get. Well, here are some tools for success that we think every future Cultural Chair or Executive Board member needs.

JC: It is important to remember that you are not alone! Delegation is not a sign of weakness, it is encouraged. Communicating that you need help is not inconveniencing others, it's using the resources that you were promised. FASA board is not a bunch of people doing their own thing and taking care of their own responsibilities- it is a team! When one person succeeds, we all succeed, and similarly, we all take falls together. Be there for your co, be there for your board, and undoubtedly, they will be there for you in return.

Do things early and don’t skip steps in the process! I know it may feel tedious and unnecessary sometimes to make a bill of materials or an event skeleton. After all, its your event and all the ideas are stored in your head anyway, what’s the point? The reality is, being able to articulate how your ideas and events are structured in something that is sharable and accessible to the rest of board is a skill. It is entirely necessary for organization and transparency with the rest of board. Oftentimes, some of your best ideas will come when you are writing down the ones you already have! Doing things early also allows you to flesh out your events and ideas more to more accurately achieve your vision- and it alleviates a LOT of stress!

Alyssa: Building on everything JC has said, also remember that you don’t necessarily have to reinvent the wheel in order to throw amazing events! Learn from your predecessors and find the balance between innovation and tradition. Especially with annual events like PCN, learning from the past will help you develop solid logistics so that you can really let your visions unfold. Also, don’t be afraid to stand up for Culture. After all, FASA is a cultural organization, so culture should always be at the forefront of FASA programming, not just an afterthought. Finally, remember to enjoy your PCN! It’s your night, and while it’s easy to get caught up in all of the logistics and stress of the night, remember to take a step back and pat yourself on the back. You did that!

One of my favorite Co-Culturals photos from PCN (ft. Ash)

5. Church

Finally, both of us attended the same exact church, but never met because JC went to 10:30 AM mass, and Alyssa went to 12:30 PM mass. On the topic of church, we have never felt more blessed to serve such an amazing organization. We have so many thank yous to say to everyone who has been a part of our journey.

JC: Honestly, I’d like to thank everyone for the unique role they played in my FASA journey! I have had positive experiences with quite literally everyone I have met. There are a few specific thank yous that I would like to give out though.

Jolene and Josh

The best seniors! Last year coming into college in person for the first time, I felt really nervous about making new friends. You two very quickly alleviated a lot of those nerves by being extremely approachable, reliable, and present figures in my life. Jolene, I still will always say that you are the reason I stuck with FASA in the first place. Our friendship last year really helped this organization feel more like home, a place where people wanted me to be, and where I wanted to stay. Josh, our connection as friends is truly indescribable (you are just like me fr). I’ve always been a bit surprised by how enthusiastic you are about being friends with me, but maybe thats just because I think you are so cool. You motivate me personally and professionally in so many ways, and I couldn’t be more thankful to call you my friend. I would not be Cultural Chair with you yall- I love you guys!!

Gang fr

A family photo with Big Jo!

Bryson and Mikey

I don’t think I have had more meaningful and perspective shifting conversations with anyone in the last year than you guys. Bryson, like I said before, you are quite literally by far the easiest person in the world for me to talk to. Just knowing that anything can happen and you will be there to listen and be present is extremely comforting. Mikey, I think that I am my most real self when I am around you. The space you create for me to be goofy, introspective, and genuine (sometimes all at the same time) is extremely unique and is something that I try not to take for granted. Of course, its been a pleasure to work with you guys, but above all, its been a pleasure to be your friend!

Fortnite dances at PCN w bry bry

Delphia-Feraro Administration

Alyssa

Alyssa, I don’t think I can come up with enough adjectives to describe how thankful I am that you are my co. You are the definition of competence, diligence, and poise. Oftentimes during our tenure, I would find myself getting stressed out about our responsibilities, only for the stress to be quickly alleviated by me remembering who I am working with. You are a bright individual with a purpose, and the way you conduct yourself in your pursuit of success is legitimately inspiring. The way our visions lined up to create amazing products like PCN, our workshops, and our (many) collabs has always been something that I was thankful for, but not something that I was surprised about. Its always felt like we were on the same page, finishing each other’s sentences as we planned events. I wouldn’t trade any of the time we spent together, working on documents, texting about ideas, or just hanging out, for the world.

Getting to share our vision together has been my life’s greatest honor!

My favorite picture together (me holding the sign I definitely always knew was in my closet)

Board

It has been awesome working with all of you! You guys are some of the smartest, most passionate, and hardest working people I know. Thank you for always being flexible and available. I want all of you to acknowledge how far we’ve come! At the start of our tenure, we were a bunch of ambitious individuals with a purpose, but with no sense of how our board dynamic would allow us to pursue it. A year later, and we are a tight knit, well-oiled machine that only gets stronger with time. While its a shame it has to end, I have a feeling our board’s legacy will be felt for years to come, as a result of our ambition and vigor. I love you all, be proud of what we’ve done!!

Alyssa: The first thank you I would like to extend is to all of you! Thank you so much for trusting me with this role and giving me this opportunity to give back to the community. Every moment of this journey has been so meaningful and fulfilling, and I am eternally grateful that FASA has become such a special place for me and for others. Now, for some special thank yous:

To Kris:

Ever since childhood, you have always been such a role model to me. Being a year older, it was natural for me to copy everything you do. After all, imitation is the best form of flattery. You went through your emo phase, I followed suit. You went to U-M, I ended up going to U-M. You joined FASA, and when it was my turn I did too. I want to thank you not only for encouraging me to join this organization, but also keeping me involved. You may not have even known you were doing it, but by always being a familiar face, you helped make me feel included and welcome in FASA. You have always been one of my #1 supporters and have never doubted my capabilities, and I appreciate everything you have done for me. Even after you graduate, you will continue to inspire me regardless of where you go. I for one cannot wait to see what you do next <3

Obligatory childhood photo (with Kris and I in the back row). I think this was the last time Kris was the same height as me 😙

To (Ate) Michelle:

I know that this is not the first time someone’s mentioned you in their testimonial, but I really do have to thank you for everything you have done for me. You were one of the first people in FASA to remember who I was and reach out to me as a new member, and I was so lucky to find out a few weeks after Mass Meeting that you were my Ate. I am so grateful for the friendship that we have formed since. Whether I need a good laugh or simply someone to confide in, you have always been there for me. You got me out of my shell and allowed me to become a larger part of the FASA community. I really don’t think I’d be where I am today without your initial support and encouragement.

Game day slays

To Wesley and Minh-Thu:

My favorite Filipinos by love! You think I would write this whole testimonial without mentioning you two? Ever since I have introduced you two to FASA, I can see how much you guys have really immersed yourselves in the community and really made it your own, regardless of the fact that neither of you were Filipino. You two embody the term “Filipino by love” in the ways that you are always so open to learning and absorbing our culture and heritage. You two are some of the best friends that I have had in FASA and in college overall, and you guys have been such a strong support system for me. Love you guys <3

BwtB! (Battle with the Besties)

To JC:

I mean what I said earlier when I mentioned that I could not have imagined doing this job with anyone else but you. Thank you for all the late nights, all of our weekly meetings that inevitably ran overtime, and for always entertaining my barrages of text messages whenever I would get a new idea or thought. You are such a strong-willed, caring, and resilient person. Whenever I found myself stressed or overwhelmed by every new event or task that we had taken on, you were always by my side to ground me and remind me that I was not alone. Working with you to bring our vision to reality and learning from your perspectives has really helped me grow as a leader and as a person. I truly believe that even after all of these times where we almost met, we were meant to meet at this time, at this point in our specific journeys. Getting to know you both as my Co and as my friend has been one of my life’s greatest honors.

Us speaking at PCN together. I was so proud of us!

To Board:

I cannot emphasize enough how much I appreciate every single one of you for everything you have done, not just for me but also for FASA as a whole. All of your commitments to our community and culture have been unwavering, and you all inspire me in so many different ways.

Amanda, you have always been someone I can confide in for advice and support. Celeste, you have been such a mentor to me and have always given me guidance personally, professionally, and academically. Justine, you are such a force to be reckoned with, your organization skills and commitment to your position as Secretary have always been amazing. Sophie, I know I can always count on you to make me laugh, and your grant-writing skills have been amazing this year. We could not have done PCN without your dedication and attention to detail! Andrew and Angeli, you guys are two of my closest friends, and the innovation you two brought to board as Social Chairs has always been something I strive to achieve. Kyle, you have always been such a team player and so willing to help out with other people’s events. I cannot thank you enough for being such an integral part of PCN advertising and planning, especially as part of Promed Committee. Mikey and Ashley, you guys have really built the External Chair position from the ground up, reviving our relationships with student organizations both on and off campus. I aspire to be as skilled as the two of you in having a strong vision and knowing how to execute it. Caitlin and Bryson, working with the two of you so closely with PCN preparations has always been a pleasure. Both of you bring such creative ideas to the table, and you both have made this year’s performances so memorable. Christian, you have an infectious energy and are always cheering me up when I need a laugh. Not only have you been such a great friend, but you have reinvented the role of Professional Development Chair to be more than what any of us could have imagined. Finally, Emily, your ability to carry out your role as Media Chair with grace and balance despite your busy schedule has always inspired me.

You all have been such an important part of the last year of my life. I will cherish our time together for as long as possible.

One of my favorite board pictures! Also the first one of the school year that had all 15 of us :)

From Both:

Emily and Caitlin

As general members, you were our first cultural chairs. You set the standard for how we aspire to be and the impact we wanted to make. You guys are the reason we decided to run in the first place. You have shown us that being cultural chair requires an unwavering passion for sharing your culture, along with humility and patience. Your passion for the position was obvious and infectious, and it has been an honor being your successors.

Kate and Estelle

You guys have been such a valuable resource for us during our tenure. We were constantly inspired by your creative approach to the position, especially given the circumstances of your year. We have built off and taken inspiration from so many of your ideas. Your commitment to inclusivity and exploring the importance of everyone’s identities has deeply informed the ways that we have approached this position, from the visions we hold to the events we host.

Three generations of Cultural Chairs at PCN 2023 🤯

FASA

It wasn’t until in college, when we joined FASA at the same time that we as Filipino Americans Came Together (WE DID WHAT??). And now, we would like to say our final words to FASA as its 2022-2023 Cultural Chairs.

Mahal na mahal kami sa inyo at salamat para sa lahat,

(With much love and thanks)

Alyssa Caldito and JC Feraro 🇵🇭🪑🫶🏼

FASA’s 2022-2023 Cultural Chairs

AWW YEAH FASA YEAH!!

#2022-2023 #FASACultural

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1-800-iluvhockey · 2 years

Note

ig edit with Luke Hughes and actress!reader? please🥺

you ask and you shall receive anon!! this has always been one of my fave tropes ever!! (this is the short version but your idea made me think of a fic idea for this…..)

(note: the pictures and everything with them are works of fiction!! )

liked by @lhughes_06 , @hbo , @thombordeleau & 3.3 million others

yourusername - that’s a wrap on season three of euphoria! can’t wait for you guys to see it (it’s truly worth the wait) can’t say much about it but what I can say is that demie & I love pranking each other on set! see you on the red carpet in a few months! #loveyouall #goinghome

episode one red carpet premiere - may 3, 2022

hbo premiere - may 6, 2022

tagged @/ alexademie, euphoria, sydneysweeney, zendaya & 5 more

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lhughes_06 - watching it as soon as it drops !! @yourusername

↳ yourusername - 🥲☺️ @lhughes_06

mtv- is our best friend duo becoming a couple soon 🥺

↳ alexademie - I mean……… 😆 they totally should

thombordeleau - u better be there on saturday for the game against mich st at yost y/n/n !!! we need our good luck charm even though we are going to beat st lol. also lukey says that he misses you and looooovessss yooooou 🥰😍🥰

↳ yourusername - aweeeee you boys must miss me :-) (I’m on the plane to mich right now so tell owen to pick me up lol I don’t trust your driving!!) and he is lying to you about that because I love him more 😂

oliviarodrigo - ur such a icon !!! you’re going to do great thingsssss <333

↳ yourusername - oh that’s all you sweets (or should I just call you sour)

umichhockey - GO Y/N GO !!!

colecaufield - our y/n has grown up 🥺 @jackhughes86@quinnhughes_ @_alexturcotte @trevorzegras

↳ jackhughes86 - cannot believe that my little bro’s childhood best friend is now going to be on euphoria and in two movies in this upcoming 2022/23 year

↳ quinnhughes_ - no fr where is the girl that would help me bully jack & play street hockey with luke 🥲

↳ yourusername - she is landing in michigan about to go back to visit her best friend lol (stop being so sentimental it hurts)

ethanedwards - YAY BESTIE Y/N IS ALMOST BACK WHOOP

↳ markestapa - YESSSS 😩😩

↳ dylanduke - my roommate won’t shut uppp about you!!! he is such a huge fannnnn

lhughes_06 - y/n isn’t answering her phone right now because she is bugging me on the ride home from Detroit :-) (if you can’t tell I’ve missed her so much….. not lol)

↳ brendanbrisson - that’s code that he is in love with her 🥰😍🥰😘

liked by @elblue06 , @trevorzegras , @quinnhughes_ & 112,463 others

lhughes_06 - beat little brother again, broke/set another frosh record……. all because my favorite person was there to watch !!!! swipe to see the pregame cuddles that she gave me for good luck #bestfriends #mysquishy #myfavoritecelebrity

tagged @/ umichhockey & yourusername

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umichhockey - new record holder for the most goals scored by a freshman is ……. #43 Luke Hughes!! (and he of course had his best friend in the world at the game 😉)

↳ yourusername - @umichhockey media team is seriously the best & yeah lu lu was pretty cool for scoring a goal or two tonight

brendanbrisson - HEY! Lovebirds! It was a team effort!

↳ thombordeleau - there is no I in team hughes get it together!

kentjohnson.13 - so glad that you’re back y/n/n !!! thank you for reminding us that luke is a softie ... and can't hold his liquor lol

↳ youusername - I truly forgot about that until last night (sorry ellen)

↳ jackhughes86 - let's forget it and laugh about it later this summer when he does it again (I mean-- no, no he won't mom)

trevorzegras - ah my favorite couple that isn't a couple are back together for awhile

↳ lhughes_06 - TZ you've had her in Cali for months, let me have her for a while

↳ trevorzegras - yeah I have & now I know some secreeeetttssss same with AT

↳ yourusername - TREVOR FREAKING ZEGRAS !!!! i hate u now

ethanedwards - y/n ran out of the house LOL

liked by mtv , elblue06 , euphoria & 10.6 million others

yourusername - well, after a great four months in michigan, I am back in LA for the first ever viewing of episode one of our show euphoria; thank you all for the support and I can't wait for the world to see it on May 6th!

p.s - very happy that my boy was able to officially be my date after secretly dating for the past year (sorry peeps, I lied to you!) #officialfirstdate #luke&y/nisrealnow #whydoesmyhairlookblonde

tagged @/ lhughes_06 , euphoria & hbo

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lhughes_06 - can finally call you my girl, you are amazing <3 so glad that you said yes after all of these years of asking you out!

↳ yourusername - decided that I wanted to love you after you danced in the refrigerator light :')

oliviarodrigo - WHAT HE DID THAT ?! oh our taylor swift loving hearts.... FINALLY YOU TOOK MY SUGGESTIONS, LUKE WARREN

mtv - you're making our hearts melt in half, squish

↳ yourusername - did I also mention I loved him when he gave me that nickname all those years ago?

jackhughes86 - YES! WE GET IT. took you two long enough

quinnhughes_ - luke, you hurt her, I break your face.

↳ hbo - I think we all agree with Quinn on this one

dylanduke - YOU DIDNT EVEN TELL ME, YOUR ROOMMATE

↳ yourusername - yeah I'm not letting anyone else comment or see the wrath of you, @dylanduke

comments disabled

liked by @umichhockey , @elblue06 , @hbo & 210,839 others

lhughes_06 - got to be y/n's hot date for the premiere of episode one of season three! been dating for a year now, and every time I see her, I still get speechless. swipe to see my stunna become her nickname, squish. she is seriously meant for the industry! you are going to do great things and I am so grateful to be by your side. I love you <33

(sorry but you can't blow the comments up on this one, she is all mine!!)

tagged @/ yourusername

comments disabled

--------

abbster's taglist: @alliestanley @owenpwr @the-stars-shine-above-us @studsccsnackavoybambi @pulpfixion @hockeyboysarehot @hockey-lover86 @yorkshirespirlo @bellaguarneri @juliasahoshughes

#abbster answers #thank you anon <33 #this was too fun to make ugh #1-800- iluvhockey insta edits #sorry i got too into it lololol

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margarethx · 3 years

Text

I don’t think everyone understands, so let me make it a little bit more clear.

“Sam Wilson cares a lot about Bucky” is not a bad trope in Sambucky stories in and of itself. It’s pretty good, to be honest, and very much canon. At this point you can’t deny that Sam cares. Unless you just lie... It’s been made pretty clear in his show that he wants (and actually tries) to look after and help everyone the moment he sees they have a problem.

---

That being said... it’s extremely easy to make this trope very bad and hard to read, if the author:

- only sees worth in Sam as a character (and a person) as long as he helps Bucky and his sole purpose in the story is to comfort his friend.

- doesn’t focus on Sam’s feelings when they’re not related to Bucky and being worried about him.

- seems to only find Bucky’s recovery interesting without even acknowledging Sam’s pain, traumas, and difficulties he faces as a (black) character.

- doesn’t show Sam getting any “reward” for his efforts. (By “reward” I mean: honest gratitude, help, friendship, love, trust, emotional support, a promise from Bucky to have his back in the future etc.)

- writes Sam into the story and lets him speak only when it’s useful to push Bucky’s story further.

- criticizes Sam when he cannot help or villainizes him for making mistakes and not doing good enough. Or...

- makes Sam act stupid and “unprofessional” (like saying triggering, insesitive things out of nowhere, or being cruel for a joke).

- makes Sam's growth as a person related to his ability to help Bucky. (By that I mean: the more he can help the better character he is.)

- etc. You get the picture.

---

Basically: it’s not bad to write stories where Sam helps Bucky get better (even if it’s getting kind of boring at this point). It’s very much in character for Sam to focus on improving other people’s lives - it’s been established since his first conversation with Steve and it’s one of the reasons why he got the shield. But if you want to write about him in a respectful way, you have to see him as a human being first. And a complex character with his own feelings, own private life, problems, dilemmas, and past. And you can’t make all these feelings, problems, or dilemmas be about Bucky.

Just look at him as a person. Not a tool to push the plot further. Show him getting tired and wanting to just quit. Show him being proud for not quitting. Show other characters helping Sam in return... OR show Sam realizing that no one “cares back” and being hurt/frustrated/sad about it. (Maybe he should quit...) Show Bucky trying his best to express how much it means to have Sam with him. Show Bucky fucking up and being the one to say sorry. Show Bucky realizing that he wants Sam to be around even when he has no support to offer, because being helpful is not his only personality trait. Show Sam learning to ask for help and finally doing it. Show Sam doing things complitely unrelated to helping anyone with anything.

It’s so much more interesting than yet another story that goes: Bucky sad, Sam exists to help Bucky, Bucky not so sad anymore.

This is the exact reason why so many fans of Sam Wilson are worried and suspicious when they see a story tagged “Sam Wilson is a Good Bro”, since it often means: ”he’s okay, because he cares about the characters I like way more than him”. It’s not always the case, but it happens often enough to make us start disliking this tag - even if it sounds like a nice thing to say at first. Some things are offensive even if you didn’t mean to offend.

...

tl;dr: Sam Wilson has a lot of empathy and willingness to help other people, but please stop writing him in ways that imply that his entire existence revolves around making Bucky’s life better.

---

[Also... My brain glitched in the middle of writing this post and I feel like I forgot something important, so if you’ve read a lot of Sambucky stories feel free to add some other observations I might have missed. Or correct me if I said something stupid.]

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Few Too Many

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, In-game violence and death, Suggestive comments

Genre: Protective fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Jealousy is a dangerous thing, especially when the jealous person is armed with a gun....in a game of Counter Strike. At least Y/N’s friend will now know not to mess around and flirt with her, especially not with Corpse around.

Requested by 🐐 Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post your request but here it finally is! I didn’t want to make it IRL violence to avoid triggering anyone while I also felt it’d be very ooc for Corpse to beat someone up but I still hope you enjoy the fic if you come across it and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Hey everyone!“ Y/N greets her squad as they all customize their characters while I sit there, observing and unknowing of what I’m supposed to do. “I invited Corpse to play with us today, hope y’all don’t mind.”

“Of course not! Nice to finally meet you, Corpse. We’ve heard a ton about you from Y/N, thanks for making our girl the happiest she’s ever been.“ One of her friends says, the tone of his voice suggesting he’s only half-joking with the dad like comment he made.

“Nice to meet you too, man. Glad I’m the one she gave the chance of making her happy. That’s all I ever wanna do.“ Though it may sound cheesy, as guys, her friends can probably read into how genuinely I mean what I’ve said.

Dating a girl with only guy friends has it’s pros and cons. Which outweigh which is still up for debate since I’m still researching, but so far so good in my opinion. This is the first time I’m interacting with them directly so I’ve still got a long way to go in terms of getting to know them and the details of their relationship with Y/N better. Regardless, I at least know they can easily understand me and put themselves in my shoes if I ever ‘mess things up’ with Y/N and she goes to complain to them - something that will most likely never happen. I’d never dare make this girl upset. Chances are, if I do, her friends won’t get to me on time - I would deliver my own punishment just the way I think I deserve it. However, there’s also the chance of them getting super protective of her and ganging up on me over something as small as a fight. By the many things and stories Y/N’s shared with me about them, I believe they wouldn’t think twice about kicking someone’s ass for her. They’re not massive dudes - I’ve seen pictures of them - but I for one don’t ever wanna see em angry.

“Ay bro, what’d you do to score our best girl? You must know what she likes. If so please, by all means, do tell.“ One of them, not the one who was previously talking, speaks up, his words making me furrow my brows in both confusion and irritation.

I open my mouth to complain as I slowly start cracking my knuckles when Y/N and her friends beat me to it. Thing is, Y/N’s friend group consists of three guys and her and yet four voices scolded the guy that made that suggestive comment. That being said, this guy probably isn’t considered to be one of her friends, at least not one that’s a permanent part of her friend group.

“Seth, cut it out!“ The guy I was previously speaking to says sharply before softening his tone to refer to me, “Sorry about my brother, excuse his lack of brain cells, please.“

Just then, I also receive a message from someone. Checking my phone, turns out it’s Y/N who by the way is currently in the living room while I’m in the recording room. Her text reads:

Y/N ~ Ignore Seth. I told Leo to not invite him but he’s still here somehow

I send her back a quick reassuring text before answering the guy I now know is named Leo, “No worries, it’s fine.”

“See? The guy can take a joke, you’re all just freaking out over nothing!“ Seth laughs, reminding me and the others of how loud he is compared to us.

Despite acting like it’s no big deal, I can’t help but admit to myself that this behavior of Seth’s has awoken a deeply buried suspicion of mine that’s not only mine but also arises in every guy whose girlfriend hangs out with a lot of guys. It’s not that I don’t trust Y/N - she could literally blindfold me and tell me to walk through a pool of lava, promising it wouldn’t hurt and I’d do it - but we all know about that saying that every guy in a group with one girl has liked said girl at least once.

Disturbing to think these four, including Seth five, dudes could’ve possibly been my competition at some point. It’s nice that they’re all super chill about it, mostly cause some of them have girlfriends as I was told.

Nevertheless, we get over that hiccup and carry on with the small talk and preparations for the game. Since it’s my first time playing CSGO, Y/N, Leo and her other friend Clancy explain the mechanics to me in detail to avoid me getting confused mid-game and getting myself killed. When they finish, we start the round and wait for the game’s algorithm to separate us into two teams which Y/N jokingly refers to as cops and robbers. Unfortunately, the end result of that separation ends up being me getting put in the terrorists’ force with Leo and Clancy while Y/N’s with the FBI, partnered with Seth and her other friend Evan.

“Alright, team, we shall now disperse. Corpse, remember, if you see more than one of them, radio in and lay low, we’ll be with you as soon as possible.“ Leo informs me as he runs off in one direction, Clancy going in the opposite. I confirm I understand and go along my way too, heading for this ancient looking structure that looks like it could belong in an old-timey movie.

Walking in, I realize the place is way bigger than it appeared on the outside. A quick look up confirms that there are three fucking floors above, not to mention that the ground floor is huge. Luckily, there are many crates and barrels to hide behind if I come across an FBI agent. I sure as hell hope it’s Y/N, I could maybe even try talking her into giving me a second chance at life and pretend she never saw me. Come to think of it though, I’d probably prefer getting killed by her rather than her friends - especially Seth.

Given that we’re in a Discord call, I can hear all the conversation going on. They are all quiet though, I can just periodically hear the mumbles of someone muttering to themselves as they navigate the map cautiously out of fear of running into their opponent unprepared. The silence is put to an end though when Seth speaks up, addressing Y/N.

“Yo, your boyfriend’s with the terrorists, ain’t he? That’s like the universe giving you a sign that y’all shouldn’t be together.“ The fucker laughs at his own joke while I can literally hear Y/N rolling her eyes.

“Have you heard of Romeo and Juliet, Seth?“ She asks sarcastically, almost getting a chuckle out of me but I suppress it to avoid getting caught listening in.

“Yeah, they both die at the end. Fucking boooriiinngg.“ Just then, I spot two silhouettes entering the building. Aiming my gun at them reveals their names - just the people I’m currently involuntarily eavesdropping on. Seth and Y/N don’t notice me though so I quickly duck behind a crate and prepare to radio in when Seth continues verbally torturing Y/N and dancing on my last nerves, “I personally think the friends-to-lovers trope is far more interesting...“

Did this guy just- no, he’s gotta be fucking kidding me

I’m left with my jaw hanging in disbelief at this guy’s audacity. I have no doubt Y/N’s about to put him in his place herself but I just gotta have my own chat with this guy. And by ‘chat’ I mean I mindlessly rush out from behind the crate towards where I saw him and Y/N and open fire on him. I hear his startled and upset screams with Y/N’s laughter in the background. She doesn’t try to stop me as a teammate of his should and would, instead she just observes the scene unfold, laughing her ass off.

“Yo man what the fuck was that for?!“ I hear Seth’s yell but only faintly since the sound of gunshots is still echoing through my headphones. Yeah, I’m not done shooting this fucker.

“Corpse...Corpse, buddy...“ Y/N manages through fits of laughter she cannot tame, “That’s a few too many bullets, he’s already dead.”

“And that was a few too many comments for him to be let off the hook.” I answer as sharply as I can with the new-formed smile on my face. What can I say, her happiness is contagious.

“Well, you got your first kill in CSGO. Good job, babe! I’m super proud of you!” She cheers for me, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Nah that was my first overkill.“ I quickly add, with a more threatening tone: “And it won’t be my last.”

“Let’s just hope there aren’t few too many of these overkills either.“ She snickers.

“That doesn’t depend on me, babe.“ I say smugly, suggestively enough for Seth to pick up the dropped hint. Mother fucker’s officially been put in his place and I couldn’t possibly be happier - with the added bonus of getting a ton of laughter out of Y/N who also decides to walk away, leaving me unharmed but promising to shoot to kill next time she sees me.

I’m ok with that. She could kill me anyday.

@maat-the-prescriptive @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @itsminniekat @hacker-ghost @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01 @buddyemily @the-albino-lioness @stardream14 @gdhdkfnn @nomadicgypsyy @preciousskye @fluffysuicideunicornsworld @o-kaelin @manacharlotte @awkward-youtube-trash @lolalee24 @bonky-beerns @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @strawbrinkofdeath @teenloves @tams0527 @browneyespinkhair @starstruckllamapuppy @daisychains012 @y0ulooked @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life @jula-pauline @melodykitty @just-that-bi-girl @crazybutconfidentaf @lowellshade @alphakees @bellero @weallneednamjesus @starryhanji @boiled-onionrings @husherstan @fockingwhore @melaningoddessthings @prettypastelpetals @haleypearce @godwhyamiawkward @y-napotat @daisychainyoonmin @little-miss-rebel3 @free-wheelin-bi-sexual @redmoon261 @darkacademic2 @wiseflamingoqueen @into-the-end @namikhai-i @nastiablr @thelittleplantlover @mirktuan @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny @vintagegothlover @easygoingtheatre @itsrandombooklover @miiaivi @emmybaybee @befourgolden @jjk-is-my-shit @eternalteaaars @spacebadgerx @princesslunalight @acequinn14 @samm48 @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa @fo-love @marishimomura-blog @therealglenncoco @cinnamonbun332 @killtherandomness @sanshinexxxsan @fee-btheweeb @press-lay @cathleenpotgieter16 @jazzydoesstuff @moonlxghtbay @forestrain2000 @hyunjinhugs @blood-of-fandoms @lovellylies @ukiyolixx @simpforhpcharacters @chrisdylan17 @parkerjisung @pedernille @theodonyous @wineandionysus @malfoystilinskii05 @morbid-x @coryisagee @jessewa26 @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365 @raeanneinwonderland @indecisive-empanada @gluttonypalace @loriane2503 @btsiguess-kpop @khaoticbunny @lucidlycactus @smiithys @rottenroyalebooks @kpopgirlbtssvt @fangirl-tc27 @fr0z3n-1 @notmesimpingfortechno @shotarosleftpinky @kunoi-chan @idk-whats-wrong-with-me @yikeroonie @goldenstarofthunderclan @poetry-and-tea @ama-do-writing-stuff @wishbonewolf @emeraldxhope @t0xick1tty @kusuinko @speakyourselfloveyourself @sophia902103 @lo-manburg @classsykittykat @dmgama @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee @btsiguess-kpop @akaashi-baby @gun-jong-simp @geschichtenfee @yerapotato-wp @browneyedgirl365 @thysagclub @sparklycloudnight @helloatomicshadow @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal @lucy-bunny17 @aaliyahh0 @katluckybear @boyleanti @straybids @franchesca-791 @cosmicstorm19 @averyisbackinthetrashcan @aomi-nabi @xlanawriter @allensimpsforcorpse

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revirushifaa · 3 years

Text

Sweet Memories

Summary: One night when Lucifer is checking old books for paperwork that he needs done, he stumbles with an old photo album with his angel years with the rest of his brothers. Leviathan is the only brother he knows being awake, so he calls him to check them with him.

Note: These are my headcanons on how the bros were as angels. Satan is not there for obvious reasons, these events happened before the Celestial War, so Satan is non-existent there.

------------------------------

"Where could I have put it? Hm..." Lucifer mused as he was searching for some old documents that could help him with the paperwork he was currently doing, late night and busy as ever, he was given the chance to rest but he decided to work instead.

"Hm? Hey, this is..." when he spotted a certain book, he stopped his search and picked it up, the book was a bit dusty, so he blew it and wiped it off with his gloves, seeing what the book was about, he sighed softly.

His angel years with his brothers, that was the photo album that they all agreed to have as memories for when they had their previous life. Lucifer flipped the book open and began looking at the pictures, a small smile crossing his features. All his brothers as little angels.

He had an idea, he grabbed his D.D.D and texted Leviathan.

'Levi, can you come to my room?'

Levi was likely still awake having a marathon of his favorite anime. He, however felt his phone vibrated and pulled it out, blinking.

"Lucifer wants to see me? Wonder what he wants."

He wasn't all that nervous since he and Lucifer had very positive bonding times just the two of them, he paused his anime and got up, sending an 'on my way' text back to Lucifer. He knocked on the eldest's door.

"Lucifer, I'm here."

The door was open and Lucifer greeted his younger brother with a small smile.

"Come in, Levi."

Levi walked in, as the door behind him closed behind and took a seat on a couch in Lucifer's room.

"Remember this?"

Levi's eyes widened at seeing the photo album. "No way! You have our photo album! I never thought, you would save that..."

"I did of course. I could never let these memories go lost in space... the only memories of being a angel that I would never forget." Lucifer nodded, showing the pictures to his brother. Levi looked at them with a certain fondness, he had to admit, these moments were really magical, they all were very close as angels, but didn't mean now as demons they were not anymore, they still were brothers, but some differences were in the way, still though, they appreciated one another in their own way.

"Oh this one photo..." Levi looked at the picture. It was one when he was just a few years born, like four. He was afraid of swinging in a swing that was put their merely for the little angels' fun. "I was so frightened, until you swung with me, Lucifer, I didn't even want to swing with Mammon, but you." he chuckled a bit. "Guess, I was a bit of a skiddish baby angel."

Lucifer chuckled. "Yes, only with me, you were able to cast your fear away. Look at that, I still remember as if it was just yesterday you were born, you're so grown up, little brother..." he sighed, where had time gone to. His brother was an adult demon, not that sweet shy little angel of the picture.

Levi looked embarrassed. "Lucifer, please, you're embarrassing me.." he couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed at his brother's words, but smiled fondly the picture, remembering how it went.

Long, long ago...

"What's that?" Little angel Leviathan asked, as he stared at the new structure while he was hiding behind Mammon.

"It's just a swing, Father ordered for it to be put for our fun! I think it's awesome, wanna try it, Levi?" Mammon asked his little brother, turning around a little to see him.

"N-no, thanks. Seems dangerous." Levi shook his head, refusing to go on and sit on the swing in front of him.

"Oh, c'mon, Levi! It'll be much fun!" The white-haired angel moved to pick up his little brother, who squirmed in his hold and cried.

"No, no, no! Put me down, Mammon! Put me DOWN!" He wailed, his eyes pricking with tears at the corners.

"What seems to be the matter." A deep voice asked behind the angels. Angel Lucifer had come to check on his little brothers, seeing Levi crying in Mammon's arms.

"Mammon, put Leviathan down, he is scared. You should not force him to do something he does not not want to do." Lucifer ordered, folding his arms and eyeing his second brother disapprovingly.

Mammon pouted and placed, sobbing little Levi down. "But I just wanted to show him the swings and swing with him! I wasn't even hurting him, Lucifer!"

"Yes, I know that. But, he does not want that." The older angel stated as he approached his brothers and crouched down to Levi, putting a hand on his head, speaking softly to him. "Levi, it is alright, it is just a swing." He held his small hand.

Levi sniffled and looked up at his brother. "It won't hurt me?"

"No, it will not," Lucifer cleaned up Levi's teary eyes with his thumb and smiled gently down at him. "Would you like to try it? I will go with you." Unlike how Mammon asked him, Lucifer didn't immediately pick him up to put him there by force, he used words first, instead of actions.

Seeing that his wise older brother was asking him gently first, Levi nodded his head a little. "Okay, but, Lucifer, go with me."

"Of course, brother mine, I will go."

The older angel led the younger angel by the hand to the swing and let him see him, not urging him to sit on if he didn't want to. Levi let go of his brother's hand and moved slowly to the swing, lightly poking it, seeing it didn't do a thing to him back. But he didn't want to sit on, still unsure of it.

"Do you want me to sit with you, brother?" Lucifer offered him and Levi thought for a moment, before nodding, trusting him. Lucifer picked him up gently, sitting down on the swing, placing Levi on his lap, holding him with an arm around the child's chest, and holding onto the side of the swing with his free arm.

"Mammon, can you push us?"

"Yes, I can!" Cheerily, Mammon moved forward and started pushing Lucifer in the swing with Levi.

"W-woooooooaaaah! I can see our room from here!" Levi squeaked, seeing the sight before him as he went back and forth.

Lucifer chuckled. "Impressive, right? This is what you see when you swing." He replied gently, holding securely onto the swing and his brother.

"And I can push you the highest, you haven't seen a thing yet, brothers!" Mammon giggled with a grin, and pushed the other angels as high as he could.

Levi kept aweing as Lucifer calmly swung with him, replying to anything the child told him, having much fun. He was a teenager angel, but he didn't mind being around his kid brothers, that was what he enjoyed doing, he was their big brother and as their big brother, he promised to be with them always.

A picture was taken without the brothers' knowledge, one that would be saved as a very dear memory.

Present time

Levi sighed as he remembered how that went. "Lucifer, this memory is by far my favorite one. There's more I know... but this one, makes it very special." He smiled, looking at his kid self holding onto the swing with his brother, he looked so excited and Mammon happily pushing them from behind.

Lucifer had also remembered the memory, a look full of fondness as he sighed. "Sometimes I wish things were like those times again, where we didn't have to worry about a thing, just of living and staying together... will never forget these wholesome times." He flipped the pages and smiled softly, at the next picture.

"Ah, look at this one, you fell ill and I had to stay behind to care for you, missing the feast with the other brothers. You were a little older here."

Levi smiled back. "I was like ten/eleven, can't remember but, I felt happy you cared too much for staying with me." He really did, Lucifer's will was to stay with him until he got better with his cares.

Long, long ago

"Where is Leviathan?" Lucifer asked his younger brothers, he was holding his infant sister Lilith in arms. "The feast is starting soon and we cannot go without him."

"Last I checked, he was still sleeping. I didn't want to wake him up, so I let him sleep more." Mammon replied, he was holding little baby angel Belphie in arms while Asmo had Beel in his own arms.

Lucifer frowned softly. "Still in bed? Odd for him, normally he's up at the same time as Mammon... I will go check on him." He gently put Lilith in Mammon's arms. "Watch Lilith, too." He instructed as Mammon adjusted the infant angel in arms, so she fit in as he was holding Belphie at the same time.

Lucifer walked inside the temple and to his brother's room, knocing in softly. "Levi?" He called and waited. When he got no answer, he opened the door and stepped inside, seeing his brother still in bed. He walked over to him and placed his hand on his forehead to wake him, frowning concerned, seeing he had a fever.

"Oh no. This can't be good." His brother had a fever, that meant it was some heavenly flu that he came down with.

Levi groaned and slowly opened his eyes. "L-Lucifer...? Is it the feast already?" his voice was hoarse.

"Almost, but you aren't well, are you?"

Levi shook his head. "I feel hot and very yucky." He had bas taste because of his cold.

Lucifer frowned. "You have heavenly flu, brother mine. You cannot get out of bed like this."

"B-but what about the feast?! Father's not gonna be happy with me skipping it, you know how he is..." Levi bit his lip a little.

Lucifer shook his head. "No. I will tell him you caught a cold, and I will stay behind to take care of you until you get better."

Levi smiled feebly. "Thank you, big brother... you're so nice to me."

Lucifer ruffled his indigo hair and sent a message by thought to his Father, explaining everything to him. Then nodded when he was immediately replied.

"Do not worry, Levi. Father knows now and he will not be mad for skipping the feast, I will stay here with you." He said reassuringly, then stood. "I just have to tell the rest of our siblings that we won't be joining them in the feast."

At Levi's nod, the older angel left the room to see his other siblings and spoke to them.

"Listen, everyone. Levi is ill with heavenly flu and won't be joining us. I will stay behind and take care of him, the rest of you will go to the feast with no exception."

"Do we take our baby siblings there? Beel and Belphie can eat solids now, but Lilith is merely born a few hours ago, what should she eat while all of us are eating?" Mammon asked, a little thoughtful.

"Feed the twins with bland food, there should be bottles of milk for our sister. Your caretaker, Uriel will take you to the feast and watch over you, while I'm with Levi. Now, behave yourselves and do not cause any sort of trouble, or there will be consequences. You don't wish to upset Father either." Lucifer said to the rest of the little angels and they all nodded at him or rather Mammon and Asmo, for the last of the siblings were still very young to speak clearly.

Pleased with their answers, Lucifer whirled to stay with sick little Levi and sat by his bed side. "I am here, Levi." he assured softly, rubbing his hot forehead.

"Big brother, I feel yucky..." Levi whimpered, being the sensitive little brother, he was beginning to whine at being sick.

"Shh, shh, do not speak much, sleep," Lucifer hushed him softly. "Do you want me to sing a lullabye to you?"

Levi nodded, his brother's soothing voice helped him calm down easily. Lucifer cleared his throat and began singing to his little brother, holding his hand.

"Little brother mine,

Hush now, close your eyes,

Dream of a wonderful world with all of us,

Little brother mine,

Hush now, lay your head close to my chest,

You will dream peacefully, not a single nightmare,

Little brother mine,

Hush now, sleep tightly, tightly..."

When he was done singing, Lucifer turned to look at Levi and he was once again sleeping, his little hand holding his tightly and the older angel smiled warmly, reaching over and planting a brotherly kiss to his head. That lullabye was sung to him when he was a mere baby, he sung it to Mammon and Levi when they were little infants, and still sung it to them and the rest of his siblings, only changing the lyrics when it was sung to Lilith.

"Sleep well, get well soon, little brother mine..."

Present time

"Lucifer..." Levi suddenly mumbled. Lucifer turned to him from the book.

"Yes?"

"What changed you to who you are now? You were so caring, rarely even yelled or punished us like how you do now..." Lucifer sighed. He knew he would be asked that question eventually, so he was honest with his answer, not telling a single lie.

"I turned strict because of your own good and the others... you all needed a firm hand in discipline, not just gentleness or not consequences at all. I... I would not take it to see any of you go forever for any rash behavior... you all are very important to me... all of you. Even if I'm hard as a rock or unmoving... you will always be my little brothers, nothing will ever change that."

Leviathan understood the need to be more firmer now that they all were demons, when they were angels they didn't do any mischief as the one most of them did nowadays.

"Yeah, I get that, I just miss your old caring you so much..."

Lucifer wrapped an arm around Levi's shoulders. "I'm still caring, you all just don't know when I do it and I prefer doing it secretly." He explained, squeezing Levi's shoulder.

"Hm. Well, I should be grateful you still show me the same care as when I was a tiny angel, thank you, Lucifer..." shyly, Levi admitted earning a quick chuckle from Lucifer.

"Don't mention it, brother mine. Still want to see more photos?"

"Yeah, absolutely."

And both brothers kept watching more pictures of sweet memories and remembering the sweet and dear moments that they had back at the Celestial Realm.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me lilith #no satan #mentions of lilith as a baby angel #mizu's writing #headcanons #angel brothers #angel brothers before they turned into demons #before the celestial war #fluff

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dangermousie · 3 years

Text

CFC Chapter 54

“A crashing car?” Ahahahaha I see you, Meatbun. But it was indeed an utter pileup!

I know I commented on this passage in its various iterations eight billion times already but I still have more to say. And it’s that XQC taking so long to realize that even though HY is young, his emotions and feelings are as genuine and strong as those of anyone older is so realistic - people do tend to think that especially with regard to children - think of a reaction of an adult to a three year old crying over ice cream they dropped. It’s all amused even if not meanly so. Because to an adult with vastly more experience, this is not a big deal. But what that forgets is that whether it’s ridiculous to someone else or not, to the person at issue that is a real feeling, AND that of course a person can only feel through the lens of their experience - what else is there? Emotions aren’t any less valid because they are informed by lesser or different experience.

Honestly, to me so far this is one of the driving messages of the novel - everyone is in their own world of issues and pain and none of these characters can truly look through the lens of another person and it would be so much better if they did. To XQC, for so long, He Yu’s strong feelings (and we know so many of these feelings are awful - despair, and self-loathing, and loneliness) never quite felt real and therefore never quite felt fully valid. And by the time it wasn’t the case, it was too late.

But the same is true for He Yu - he is so concentrated on his own grievances and his own pain, he cannot perceive others’ different issues. In He Yu’s mind, he’s the winner and always champion of Misery Olympics and while he’s had a horrible time of it, that doesn’t mean other people didn’t either just in different ways. Whether because of his condition, his issues or just his age, HY is not empathetic in the least.

And think about it - XQC does not have a horrible illness. He does not have unfeeling parents. But he had to watch his beloved parents brutally murdered in front of his eyes at 13 (!!!!) and then had to raise a 5 year old by himself. Is it worse or better than HY’s trauma? That’s a matter of opinion but what there is no question about is that is a different type of trauma and a different type of scar. Or think about the patient in the asylum whose name I am too lazy to look up - her life is such a theater of horrors that to me, it makes the combined issues of HY and XQC seem small, though once again that’s subjective. Nobody wins when people start this sort of competition.

My heart breaks for XQC but also - I am sorry - if/when HY x XQC hook up again (how? I have no idea! But that is one of the joys of Meatbun - I both have no idea how/where it’s going and utterly trust her), please have He Yu read up and learn things because Good God. You should not be in major pain the morning after unless you are into pain and XQC clearly is not!

The other thing is the bit about XQC forcing himself to walk in his usual ramrod-straight manner is the moment I went utterly gone for him. I mean, I liked him and found him interesting before. But this is the thing that flipped that invisible switch for me and I went rabid and irrational and now I am Team XQC and I don’t care what he wants and does from now on, he should have it. It’s so small but so real. My mother and her mother were both big on straight posture. And one of the reasons they gave was when you walk with good posture - you look confident but also it makes you feel confident and stronger. And I’ve actually found it to be true - when you throw your shoulders back and straighten your neck and hold your head up, it does not just give others a signal, it gives a signal to your own brain. So to see XQC insist on doing it, despite being emotionally and physically shattered - because of his pride refusing to give up, because he’s so unbending, but also this being some sort of instinctive armor, just hits straight through the heart.

OK, I laughed at HY as a fucking machine. But also, this is another point in the whole “everyone has issues” narrative and HY’s life could be worse. HY, with all his other issues, can pay an insane amount, an amount that XQC could not pay in a million years, so easily. It’s not even a blip to him. Hell, the fact that he forgot to pay speaks to that - I can see forgetting to pay a friend a couple of bucks back right away because it’s not much money. HY forgets because it does not loom in his mind. And this rich lifestyle is instinctive, is ingrained in him. I think he’d find it hard to be poor.

THAT is what he’s thinking about? Priorities are...

The sole good thing that came out of this insanity is that XQC is getting in touch with his emotions, even if those emotions are (rightly) rage. He’s too closed off from them normally.

The fact that you slept with a man should be secondary to the fact that you drugged and raped him, but here we are...

To me, this sums up He Yu as a moral wasteland. To still, when sober and past his fit and not under influence of wine, to still feel excitement over his revenge and to somehow twist it that it’s XQC’s fault for being raped by He Yu is !!!!!!!!!

(I suppose if I were charitable, I’d assume that the disquiet is small stirrings of almost dead conscience and his “he deserved it” is an attempt to justify the unjustifiable to himself, but I honestly don’t want to think so because I am so angry at him. Not until I see some more evidence. I don’t feel like being indulgent with He Yu since he’s indulgent with himself enough for two.)

1. The fact that you can tell from the picture XQC got taken by a man (I am gonna defer to Meatbun’s expertise here) definitely points to the fact that the pictures are going to be used for something bad later - because if it’s just oh XQC had sex, so what, he’s single what’s the big deal. But like this it becomes a different matter. No idea if it will be used for HY or XQC or both, and by whom (money is on Duan and co, but after the way HY went off, I would never say HY himself won’t use it badly somehow) but knowing Meatbun, it will go for maximum damage.

2. Ruthless? Perhaps. Unfeeling? Hmmmm. I am not He Yu’s biggest fan atm but that’s a wonderfully misleading adjective here. He does still seem to be in shock. And fixating.

3. The whole “hahahaha XQC is a hypocrite when he was all ‘I am not interested in sex’“ is - I am not sure if HY is just short-circuiting (fine) or using a rapist justification/rolling in a sea of toxic toxicity (not fine) because I am sorry, that’s totally like “he/she had a reaction, can’t be rape” writ large. Yeah, sure he had a reaction - you poured drugs down his throat. That has nothing to do with his default preferences or his actual state. THE FUCK?!

Anyway, we end on the whole “u mad bro?” bit and you know what strikes me? HY was all “I am done, we are done, my revenge is complete I don’t care” but here he is, still desperately seeking and craving reaction and interaction from XQC.

I remain utterly puzzled as to how these two will ever be a couple except for a couple being defined as “two mutually homicidal people.” Leaving aside everything else, I am willing to accept HY is in the closet - clearly whatever his orientation is, it includes men. But I do not get that sense from XQC at all. When he’s not drugged, he’s barely interested in sex with anyone and I do not get the sense he’s in the closet either. Chances of anyone, let alone He Yu, who is both a man and someone who raped him to humiliate him, being able to entice him into sexual encounters voluntarily is about the chance of me going to visit Mars. Meatbun loves doing insane things so I can’t wait.

PS I know people use the term psychopath all the time casually but ummm, I think He Yu may actually be one? When he has his father (!!!) on speakerphone, calmly carrying a conversation with the man as he’s raping his father’s friend in the club as he talks (!!!!!) that is...in RL I’d be “team lock him up for life, there is something so basic broken in him that it can’t be fixed.” Like - the hell? The ability to put things on different shelves so much is not in the same country as sane (it makes me think of 2ha and TXJ banging CWN being the curtain while performing court business but TXJ was bona fide clinically insane and also this is worse because this is his actual freaking father omg.) Of course, only time will tell whether it’s evidence of him being irreparably incapable of normalcy in terms of living in the world/interacting with others or it was an extreme psychotic (in casual parlance not medical one) break because most people are capable of truly horrific stuff if certain levers are pushed and his default is saner. It’s the question, isn’t it? Whether He Yu’s factory default setting is the monster of the previous chapters or the kid who’d cut his wrists so as not to hurt others.

Anyway, this novel is a terrifying roller coaster ride and I love having strong emotions.

#cnovel #meatbun doesn't eat meat #case file compendium

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