#i cant complain about being spared from it for the time being but am i ever going to be able to survive in it on my own?

[celadonlonghorn]

running my drawings through glaze to repost them on twitter and wondering if this shit is even worth it anymore

[drdemonprince]

Autistic friend anon here — thank you so much for your answer and the substack post. I was kind of stuck in the “rejection” feeling of “wait but if being autistic isn’t a bad thing then why are you so upset at the idea that YOU might be autistic”. I took it really personally and wasn’t really thinking about how much it sucks when someone acts like they know you better than you do. I’ll have to keep working through that.

I also often get stuck in the idea that “well if someone had just TOLD ME I was queer/trans/autistic then I could have figured it out sooner and life would be better” or whatever. But after many years of being out as queer/trans, I think that isn’t actually true and even if it is, I don’t interact with other possibly queer/trans people by “diagnosing” them with queerness/transness any more. In my head it seemed like autism was different for some reason, but of course it is not.

Anyway, your answer was really thoughtful and diplomatic, while also being very clear about what is bad behavior on my part. It is genuinely going to be a big benefit in my life.

Hey, nice to hear from you again!

I totally feel you. When I told a friend years ago that I thought she might be a BPDer, I was incensed that she ended up not taking that comment well. I meant it in an affirming, pro-Mad-Pride kinda way! I was a BPDer too! if she thought it was bad to be BPD, what did that mean she thought about me?

But I was looking at it the wrong way. I had just hurled a still very stigmatized label in her direction as a response to her complaining about real relational struggles in her life, which felt diminishing and presumptive. Telling various people in my life that I'm pretty sure they're Autistic can have a similar effect, even if they're on board Autism acceptance as an idea.

I used to fixate on the time I lost not realizing I was trans or queer or whatever the fuck I am yet. I had a vision of an older me materializing before me at age 16, specifically on the corn-lined roads I used to bike up and down furiously, and imagined telling myself the Truth of who I was and what I had to do to be happy. I believed that if i had known I was trans younger I would have avoided a lot of upsetting relationships, eating disordered periods, and general angst.

Now. I am pretty damn sure that is not true. It turns out that being trans was not a solution to all my problems, it was just another problem that I had. In the sense that it's a challenge to navigate on this bitch of an earth. if i hadn't chosen to be trans i would have chosen some other shit to do that also would have been a major pain in the ass i'm sure. that too would have been an interesting back story.

I dont think I was ever going to be outgoing and unneurotic and breezily well adjusted. That's not my lot in life. Feeling a little uncomfortable in my body and around other people is as definitional a part of me as my wit or my weird laugh. I can kinda love that about myself now, or at least accept it. nothing and nobody actually could have saved me. its just not that simple. but it's been a pretty interesting life.

i think we tend to impose our self-narratives onto other people when we are not happy or we are harboring deep regrets about having gotten something wrong or missed something in the past. but we cant spare our friends those journeys. they should get to have them. it's interesting and enriching to get things wrong, be in denial, cope in elaborate stupid ways, soul search, change our minds, miss something, find something, never know what's true.

[lawliet-ryuzaki-ryuga]

Chapter 3

Captain  (Levi Ackerman X reader)

WC: 2713

tw: nothing really.. maybe some hostility... 

Two comrades; humanity’s Strongest and humanity’s Bravest. A bond between Two warriors who have nothing to lose.

A/N: i LOVE BABY LEVI AND Y/N

MASTERLIST

Chapter 2  --- Chapter 4

First person (pov)

Before the morning came I was up and out of bed, although I was still exhausted from the journey of the days before,I had to get a head start. With that i grab my regular clothing and head to go change and freshen up for the day. While walking to the washroom I pass by Levi’s bed and see that he’s fast a sleep, yet some how still looked like he was lost in his thoughts, with his eyebrows slightly scrunched and lips pulled to a line. 

Once I’m all ready for the day, i head outside to go on my little hunt for some berries. Today you felt like making some lemon berry loaf of bread, with the apple cinnamon oatmeal. If there was one thing about you, it was that you loved cooking, well mostly baking. I would always remember my time in the underground where we didn’t have food, and it was tough to survive. To have your meal for the day, you would work at a small bakery like shop, in exchange for a meal for the day. That was where I learned most of everything that I know. As it is, food was already tasteless given the budget that we needed to follow, but I knew I could make something more of it. With that i find a berry bush a few miles into the woods and pick them out and have them in my small basket. Once I knew I had enough I headed back to base just in time for cooking to start. There were a total of 270 of us, and breakfast needed to be ready by 7 sharp. The sun had not risen yet, which makes me know that it’s still 5 am. 

I  noticed the other 2 on shift pull up with sleep still in their eyes, but nonetheless, simple ‘ good morning’s’ are exchanged. You tell them your plan for the meal to which they both nod and begin washing the apples and peeling them. I pull out the berries and have them washed along with the few lemons. I  prepare the bread dough, making sure you have enough to make 7 loaves and having the dough rest while the yeast activates. I prepare the oatmeal by heating up the large pot with enough milk before adding the oats. Apples are being cut into small cubes and then placed into a large pot to cook. That is when I remembered I had gone and plucked some jasmine flowers, I rushed back to my  bag and pulled them out, and laid them onto a towel and had them dry up on the windowsill. I had wanted to make some jasmine tea again, since we ran out, and I had come to learn that Levi also preferred Jasmine Tea. In the meantime I stir the oatmeal to make sure it doesn’t stick to the bottom and sides. Then I went to get the oranges we needed to squeeze for juice. 

By the time we were done we had an hour left before breakfast. The kitchen itself smelled amazing with the loaves coming along nicely. There wasn’t much to clean, so I began cleaning what i could to help make the job easier for the cleaning shift. 

“ Hey y/n, we don’t need to clean.” One of the other soldiers whom I’ve come to learn is Jennie. With no change in expression I turn back to wiping down the counters and tables. I never understood why other cant just do something else without being told. Both Jennie and the other person complain for the 4th time about having to clean. I slam the rag and look at both of them before pointing at the door, they give me this look of confusion, like they haven't done anything wrong. They question me by asking the stupidest questions like “ what’s wrong?” “ Did we do something?” Like no shit, even a dog knows when it’s done something wrong. 

I point to the door again and turn back to cleaning, they eventually get the message and leave. Surprisingly i got everything done with still 30 minutes to spare. I walk to the windowsill and see that the flowers have indeed withered due to the scorching hot sun. I grind the small petals just to where they’re smaller pieces before adding them to a jar and some to a tea pot to boil. 

I prep the bowls in the meantime and pour all the cups of juice, making sure as much is ready. 

The last batch of loaf is out and cooling down, and slowly the people begin to trickle in. I pass each one a bowel of their oatmeal and small slice of lemon berry loaf. 

Eventually Levi does pop in wearing his infamous stone faced look he gets in line waiting for his turn. When his turn comes he thanks me for his meal but I stop him before he could walk away. I grab the small tea cup and pour him some tea that I just made, and add 1 ¼ of sugar to his tea and stir it. I walk back with the tea in hand and offer it to him, with a low whisper of “ don’t forget your tea.” He looks at the cup in his hand now and if i weren't paying attention, i would have missed the small flash of shock that covered his face. He tilts his head up to look at me, his expression not changing much besides his eyes softening. 

Levi always had the dark and hard eyes that held so much emotion. They say that the eyes are the window to your soul, but when it came to levi, his eyes were a window to the darkness that he has come to know and live with. With that i give a small smile in return and go back to get the line moving again. He walks away and heads towards the table where the majority of our ‘friends’ sat. 

No one’s (pov)

Levi had sat down setting his plate and cup down, sitting between Matthew and Petra. Petra alone was having a mini heart attack, just at the thought of her crush sitting besides her. She though that this could be her moment, where she could interact with Levi. She would try to ask him small questions about anything, but Levi was too preoccupied by the food that he was eating. When he had taken the first spoon of oatmeal, a memory that he had long forgot came to mind. 

Levi was only 13 at the time, a small frail boy, with bags under his eyes. Skin covered in dirt, clothing that had holes and were far too small for his frame. He sat on the floor in a dark alleyway, knees to his chest and head in between his folded arms over his knee. Life in the underground was difficult, almost near impossible to live in, yet here he was, a young boy with nothing else to offer. He could not remember the last time he cleaned himself let alone the last time that he ate. But all of that didn’t matter because it never did, he didn’t matter. That was until a young girl came out of the building with heaps of what looked like trash. He heard the small grunts from the young girl and jumped to his feet to help her carry the heavy load, not that he was in any shape, but he couldn't let her struggle. He remembers the small girl look at Levi in shock before backing away out of fear, not knowing what he would do. But with that reaction, Levi couldn’t help but feel hurt, not even a small girl would want to be near him. She continues to look at the older boy as he places the trash down and walks away, not wanting to scare the poor girl any long. But she runs up to him to grab his hand in a way to stop him. 

He turns back to see her look at him and signs him what looks like to be the word ‘food’, Levi not sure what she means, only assuming that she too was asking for food. 

“ food? Sorry i don’t have anything to give you.” Levi sighs before turning around again to walk away. But the young girl pulls at his hand again stopping him once again in his tracks. He turns back to see her shake her head and points at him before signing again towards her mouth. Not understanding she pulls him back to his original spot before signing ‘ wait’ and ‘ be quiet.’

The little girl runs inside before coming out a few moments later with what looks like a bowel. With slow steady steps she offers the warm bowel to the boy before her. Oh how he remembers the joy and shock that filled him. With shaking hands he grabs the bowel before grabbing the small spoon to take his first sip. The flavor of apple and cinnamon tingle his taste buds, as he cant recall the last time he had anything fresh and hot. The little girl watches him consume the bowel in an ungodly rate before he wipes his lips with the back of his hand. That is when she notices his chapped lips. She grabs the bowel from him and signals him to wait once again before running back into the building again. He wonders what she could possibly bring back after a meal that was sent from heaven. 

With that she runs out with a cup and something wrapped in paper. She hands him the cup to which he sees the clear liquid.. water. Within seconds he chugs the water before handing her the cup back, and in exchange she hands him the wrapped item.  Levi takes from her hand the wrapped item and opens to see that she had given him a loaf of bread. Levi could not understand this act of kindness. He looks at her with tears brimming his eyes, about to pour down. But before she could see the tears, a voice in the back screams.

“ WHERE ARE YOU, YOU LITTLE RAT!” with that the girl runs back before she could be caught, not saying or waving a goodbye to the boy. He watches her close the door before disappearing from his sight, wondering if he would ever see that young girl again. That is when he decided he would wait for her to see if she would come out, so that he could thank her. 

The sun had set and the young girl had yet to come out again. The young frail boy would hear on occasion a a man scream obscure things. Internally the boy would panic, worried that something was happening to the girl, but he felt helpless, unable to see and protect the little girl. Eventually hours passed , the night turned cold. The streets were no longer filled with as many people, but now it was swarmed with older women trying to make business and men who would go to these women. With a sigh Levi gives up, not expecting to see the young girl anytime soon, that is until the creeping of a door is heard and a small body is pushed forward. 

“ you come back tomorrow you hear! I’m not going to be feeding you for free!” The man speaks in a stern voice as he pushes her out in one motion. The little girl catches herself before she falls and turns to nod at the man, before slamming the door a mumble of “ can’t she bloody talk?” Is heard before the door is slammed shut. The little girl looks to her left and right to scout the area, and she sees the young boy in the corner. With gradual and soft steps the little girl walks up to the boy and places her hands on his stomach, as if to see if he had a full stomach. But to her disappointment she felt her hand sink a bit. 

Under her arm she holds a small loaf of bread and hands it to the young boy. 

“ oh no, I’m okay! That’s for you, did you even eat today?” He asks in a hushed tone.

With the shake of her head she pushed the bread towards him again. But the boy refuses to take up her offer. “ I’m okay, I wanted to thank you for the food today… I haven’t had food in a while and… just thanks.”

The little girl looks at him with a tilted head to the side and a small smile on her face. She gives a nod before she begins walking away to lead the way to the destination. But she doesn’t hear footsteps behind her. The young girl looks back to see the boy still in the same place she left him, she walks over to grab his wrist and walks out of the alley way with him. 

The two walked down the street avoiding eye contact of every person. The two eventually reach an abandoned torn down house. She goes through a small opening and disappears into the darkness of the house. 

Levi had never been one to follow anyone, but for some reason he felt called to follow this young girl. With a deep breath in, he goes in in hopes to find her. “Hey.. um where are you?” He calls out, squinting in the dark to adjust. That is when the sound of a match striking the match box is heard and a small lantern is lit. The area is illuminated and he looks around to take in his surroundings. That’s when his eyes catch the Small drawings on the wall, small flowers, a sun, stick like figures. All over, that is until he catches a small drawing in the corner of the room of what resembles a small girl crying. 

“ Did you draw all of these?” He asks the girl, to which she nods proudly. She walks over towards a small lay out of wooden crates and some hay with a small blanket on top and bottom. Before she get’s on she walks over to a bucket of what looks like water and pulls out a small rag. That is when she begins to wipe her face, neck, arms and legs. That is when she jumps onto the makeshift bed and pats the small side beside her, as he walks over she throws her hands up in a motion that says  “stop” and points to the water and rag, instructing him he needs to clean first.  Understanding he goes over and wipes himself off before going over to where she was. 

“ Is this where you sleep?”

The young girl nods again and pulls out her little piece of bread, but cuts it in half and offers the other half to the boy. “No you have it, I had enough food today.” The girl refusing to take no for an answer, she shoves the bread into his hands and turns back to her piece before munching away. When the both are done eating the little girl gets comfortable and lays down getting ready for bed. The boy takes it as his time to go and attempts to leave until she pulls at his sleeve. 

“ you’re going to bed, so i need to leave?”

She shakes her head in disagreement and points outside and rubs her arms up and down, as if to say “ it’s cold.”

“ Yeah, but I’ll be okay. This is your place.”

She pats the bed again, points at the boy then outside and shakes her head again, in complete protest of him going outside. The girl could not understand why he would want to be outside all alone in the cold! She hated the cold but above all she hated being alone because when you’re alone that is when bad people hurt you. 

“ You want me to stay here?” he asks in disbelief.

She nods her head, of course she wants him to stay, he could get hurt outside! 

The young boy contemplates his choices wondering if he could trust her, or if he should leave. But he decides to stay with her.

[viralvava]

long vent

i feel like my two dearest friends never have the time for me anymore, and they hardly ever talk to me if i dont intiate, and they rarely respond even then

and i know that at least partly its because theyre busy, very busy, and they have lives of their own to contend with, but thats just... partly, isnt it? how do i know that all that time they dont have for me isnt just time they dont want to waste on me? did i become too much, or was i not enough and i just faded from their minds? im so often upset that most everyone is desensitised to it, because ill be right as rain after, or so it looks, but i dont know.

it feels like they dont care about me at all, like im at best just a toy thats always on the shelf for when they finally need a distraction, or at worst, a hindrance they need to appease every now and then so i dont make even more of a bother out of myself than usual, so i dont demand more of their attention than the minimum

and i know its unfair of me to blame people for not wasting their meager spare time on me, and even if they have more time to spare than i assume, it might destroy me but i still have no right to demand any more of their energy than they want to give me. and i especially dont have a right to complain when its really just my fault for bottling this all up, and not saying a word about it, so they probably dont even know i have the slightest issue with it, or that theres anything for me to take issue with at all

and i dont bring it up because i know its selfish, and im just being clingy, a pain, an attention whore or whatever you want to call it, not satisfied with being spoken to and remembered even when it does happen.

but hell, its just. it hurts. it hurts a lot. and i cant do anything about it because im scared of what it will reveal.

best case scenario, nothing happens at all. i dump all my feelings, i get apologies, but it really is just a lack of time, a business, likely combined with just my forgettability ane how they are as people -- so nothing changes. im still here.

but what if its not just that? what if im right? what if they do have more time than i think and they truly just dont want to spend it on me? what do i do then? i miss these people so much when they arent even gone but i dont mean as much to them as they do to me, and in fact, they mustnt be able to stand me, and. they just dont want to spend time with me, or talk to me, or anything.

and maybe... if they just didnt like me at all, it would be fine. i could deal with it

but i know they like me, i know they care about me at least a little, and that makes it so much fucking worse

because then that would mean they love me, but they dont love me nearly as much as i love them, and thats just utterly soul-crushing. how am i supposed to deal with that?

[hirik0]

Forced Proximity

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

Day 3

Soap wakes up before 20 minutes before 5 am. The first think he notice is that Riley is not in the bed, no weight on his chest no heat next to him. Concerned he turns on the light on his nightstand. Riley lays next to the door, something is wrong. When he sits up his feet land in a wet textured pudel on the floor. The smell of acid reaching his nose. "Eww", he says realising he stepped in dog vomit.

>>Riley is sick<< he text to Ghost, before getting up to clean up the mess Riley made. He needs 30 minutes to convince Riley they should go out for a while. Ghost still hadn't read his text. They walk in the admin building at 6 am, so Soap can figure out when the base vet opens and get a appointment. They told him to muzzel Riely if he plans to bring her in, because aperently this dog dont like going to the doctor. The doctor viste is something. Riley, who Ghost sometimes calls sunshine, this very well behaved dog everywhere but at the vet. Soap looked at the nurse confused when she put a muzzle on her, Riley would never bite with out being told so, atleast that's what Soap thought before the viste. The second the Vet a nice man entert the room Riley is growling and hiding as good as possible between Soaps legs. "So Riley throw up in the night, but not since", the vet reads from his clipboard and Soap nods. "Can you holt her while we treat her please. Soap nods and had to wrested the dog to even get her on the table so the doc can have a good look at her. The second the Doc holt a thermometer Riley nearly jumped of the table and then was ready to eat the fingers of the doctor. "No fever, that good, so your not sick Riley and don't have to say here and try eating all our fingers." The doctor sounded so fucking relieved by this. "It's likely Riley just eat something she's not suposed to eat, did you see anything Captain?" Soap is thinking about yesterday he didn't saw anything. "She was in some bushes yesterday maybe there", Soap says unsure. "Well Riley is at perfect health don't worry Captain, just make sure she dont eat anything she's not suposed to, we like our fingers here."

Riley gives him the cold shoulder clearly still being angry over the vet viste. This makes him feel oddly hurt, like this ungrateful dog, he was just looking out for her health. Ghost also didn't text him back all day, he made thinks wired yesterday so no wonder. Still hurt just as bad as Riely ignoring him. But he has work to do, a update video call with Raoch and his team so hopefully good news on this front. "Captain, we still need longer, we are stucked in a fucking monsum all roads are rivers now", Roach reports, the floor of the save house being underwater, probably going Roach at least to his ancels. "Fucking hell Roach, thought you finished already", Soap complains. Riley is moving her ears hearing the voice of the spare human, follwod by a confused noice because she cant smell him. "Yeah, the mission is done, we just need to get to exfile, without drowning", Roach says shurging, the weather really is not his fault neigther is Soaps bad mood. "When you think we can send exfile?" "In a week? If we are lucky it stops raining in 5 days hard to tell." "I will notify the base doing your exfile", Sopa says taking a not making a annoyed sound. In the mean time Riley is inversticating where Roachs voise is coming from, of course she had seen Ghost talk in to this metal think more then ones and hear a vocie of someone not in the room with them. "What got you in such a bad mood Cap?", Roach ask and a dog is sudenly jumping in Soaps lap and Riley is defentiv to big to sit in someones lap like this. "Hey Riely, look at you. You're a good girl", Roach says and Soap can hear his big grin. "Oh, so now you're stop pouting huh", Soap just says to the dog. Riley just happily barking at metal thing Roach. "Why do you have Riley"; Roach ask confused. "Ghost in medical." "Why didn't she stays in the kennels?", Roach asks confused. "Price.... this motherfucker tricked me", Soap says defedet getting a laught out of Roach. "Well, looks like you and Riley go along great" Roach laughs. "Yeah well someone is still mad over the vet viste she caused herself", Soap says with a dog tail in his face. Roach is cursing sudenly. "Fuck the water is so high its running in my boots now, call in 3 days again Cap, Riley", Roach explains before the screen goes dark. Riley makes a sad noise, not making any affort to leave Soaps lap. "I get bullied by a fucking dog", Soap sighs before sending Ghost a picture of his dog.

Ghost nerly throw his phone away, when he sees the picture Soap send him. Fuck, he want to give you an update on Riley, no need to overreact. Why is Riely even in his lap in the first place?

>> Hows she doing? <<

>> Eat somrthing wrong, no need to say at the vet. Why did he tell me he about Riley try to eat fingers? <<

>> The first time they tryed to take Riely temperature she bit in the hand of the Doc, she hates this, needs a musel now <<

>> She was happy to be included in my call with Roach<<

>> How Roach? <<

>> Stucked in a monsume, save house is underwater, its a problem for the americans its theres <<

>> Im maybe alowed to leave on Sunday, if my wrist is fully healed by then <<

>> Riley and I will be here <<

>> I know <<

Ghost heard is beating loadly, he is real interpretating to much in to this. Soap just wants to be nice sending him pictures of Riley. He would do this for everyone in the 141 with a K9 hes looking after. No need to think he gets special treatment. Strictly seen this is still worktalk anyway. So why are his stupid emotions trying to plure the line where is nothing to blure? Getting exited everytime his phone is notifying him he has a new message, smiling when he sees its Soap getting, disapointment when its someone else, feeling nervous when he texts back, hopeing that Soap will answer fast. Soap is not even intrestet in man, nothing to get his hopes up for in the first place. And this hurts, he WANTS Soap to like him that way. God really Soap looking after Riley because Price tricked him its all it needs form him to realise he fallening for one of his Captians. Pathetic and still he craves it. He wants it so bad, wanting a piece of Soap for himself, its selfish he knows that. Still its one of the only things he really wants in a long time. Something that Simon wants and not Ghost, Ghost dont want things. And fuck he will try to get this for Simon, because Simon deserves nice things.

[baddiewiththesaddies]

HOLIDAZE......

so its been awhile since my last entry and well i guess this is were im coming to bitch and complain.... yes i am naturally agressive... anger and aggression is what ive known all my life. my anger and explosive temper are some of my worst qualities..... i dont enjoy this fucking anger that sits inside me like lava in a volcano waiting to erupt.... being the only famale in a texmex home in the late 90s early 2000s wasnt the coolest lol.... while my parents essentially were strict, along with "spankings" being a VEERY COMMON thing in my home. yk spare the rod and spoil the child.... along with my birth father being abusive to my mom and basically neglected the fact that he had a daughter. all made me have this low bs tolerator, i am blunt yes i come off as harsh.. mostly bc i say the shit no one wants to say bc yk i cant give constructive criticism unless its wrapped in bows surgar coated in easy to swallow bs water.... and i dont have the care to want to wrap a pig in makeup and a bow... its still a pig w/o wig the right??? i mean.... thats what i think feel free to lmk if im wrong .... sooooooo the point of this is that i get tired of shit like "omg girl this song makes me wanna unblock him" after the fact of they broke up due to cheating... and they broke up over 5 months ago.... like ugh im sorry but not soory stop bringing up old shit and if you want to go do it with someone who gives af enough to swallow the bs sandwich youve served by saying shit like that when yall basically got physical... plus a bunch of other toxic shit... like i cant just sit here and tolerate bs when im trying to cut it outta my life... i mean i could be wrong theres no denying sometimes i go too hard on things especially when i care about someone. i hate the ppl i love being hurt or done wrong. ive been in my share of toxic relationships, i hate the fact that ppl have had the audacity to misused my loved ones and i. i just want to keep them hurting the ways i have wondering why me what did i do to deserve to hurt like that.... bc thats a shitty efeffin way to feel.... so im oming from a place of love but idk... how do i rid my life of bs if i allow those around me to serve it to me daily....

welp other then this... going bsck to wwork has helped me channel my energy to no want to fight but i havevbeen trying to talk thngs out but even then im labeled as the angry latina..... one stereotype thatll take 10x as long to lose as it was to gain.....

till next time..... wish me luck on this so called life thing....

btw happy holidays and a happy new year if youve made it this far in my rant of thnking tooooo mf much.....

[myoirv]

— why you and peter would break up

♡ — summary: the reasons why you two would break up

♡ — pairing: peter parker x fem!reader

♡ — warning: not that I'm aware of !!

♡ — word count: 1307

♡ — genre: angst !!

♡ — notes: sksks this is my first try at angst and writing for peter so i hope it turns out well lmao ; ; I'm not the best at writing so spare me lmaoansbgsvsbhn i have missed feelings abt this one and lowkey am embarrassed so :DD

he cant balance being spiderman and peter parker

at first, he would manage to make time for you, and it would be like that for a while.

of course, you eventually found out about pete being spiderman after a while so you didnt mind if you two couldn't spend time with each other as much

and the fact that peter was the sweetest boy you knew, you often forgave him quickly. supporting him in his daily patrols.

but eventually, the time apart would become longer and longer

he would miss dates frequently and important days for you

peter would become so immersed in his job that he just slowly forget about you

you knew he was out there saving lives, but you just wanted him for yourself just for a few minutes before the cycle of him pushing you away would start again

you knew it was selfish of you so you would often push away your feelings

weeks would go by like this, gradually getting worse and worse

it was inevitable you two broke up because of that, you accepted the fact that you two were just too different, how peter would never have the time to show you the love you wanted so badly.

it wasn't until he would miss the 4th date in a week, 10th date in a month that you would bring it up

'today at 5? we can meet up at the park, i promise I'll make it this time'

you stared at the text sent by peter 3 hours ago, tears building up as you sighed in disappointment. peter stood you up, again. you softly cried to yourself, feeling ridiculous sitting alone on a park bench at 8:37 pm

clutching the dress you had just gotten for this date, the makeup you spent an hour perfecting running down your face as you quietly cried. glaring at the messages you had sent peter previously asking if he would come or not.

you were so fed up with peter and his never-ending cycle of missing every chance you two had together. your stomach turned as you considered just ending it, finally accepting the fact that it won't work. no matter how hard you would try and no matter how many excuses peter would give you, spiderman always came first. it came first at your birthday, your first year anniversary, and when you needed him most.

you just wanted to be selfish for one moment, and have him all for yourself. no spiderman, no crime-fighting, nothing. just you and your boyfriend. 'spiderman' was preventing you from pursuing the relationship you wanted with peter and it was frustrating.

spending time with peter was all you could wish for, but each plan you two made together ended in him standing you up was breaking you each time.

you sighed as you finally got up from the bench, your mind set on what you needed to do. you were done with peters apologies and excuses, you were slipping away from him and he wouldn't even notice because you two would never spend time together.

your heels clicked on the floor as you walked down the sidewalk. internally complaining at your choice to wear heels today. the pain in your feet hurrying you as you walked to your apartment building.

you rubbed your nose, sniffling quietly as you slowly stopped crying. your tears finally all dried up over your now ruined makeup. smiling in relief as you finally made it to your apartment, hurrying up the stairs as your heels dug into your feet.

you mumbled curses to yourself as you opened your apartment door, sighing in relief as you slipped off your heels. silently roaming around your house before walking to your restroom. washing off your ruined makeup as you thought about what to tell peter.

overthinking every single outcome of each scenario u made in your mind as you got ready for bed. finally falling down in your duvet, you stared at the ceiling as you went over each special occasion peter missed. remembering how utterly ridiculous you felt after each time, the pitiful looks you'd get from strangers passing by or your close friends.

god, it was so embarrassing-

'tap tap tap'

you looked at your window in confusion, slowly getting out of your bed before walking to the window. grumbling your annoyance at who was there, you sighed before opening the window. watching as peter climbed through.

"hey y/n-" "where were you today peter?" you quickly cut him off, nervously tapping your foot on the carpet-covered floor as you waited for peters response. "i was out patrolling? why?" peter asked as he slowly walked towards you, only for you to step back.

"did you forget something tonight" you harshly asked, "a date maybe?" you watched as peter looked at you in confusion before his eyes widened in realization. "oh my god I'm so sorry" peter quickly mumbled nervously under your glare.

"you promised peter" you whispered, your tone suddenly sounding sad. your lips trembled as you tried to keep your composure, tears slowly building up. "i know I'm so sorry-" peter apologized, "I'll make it up to you i promise."

"god peter stop making promises you can't keep" you laughed to yourself. an eerie quietness quickly filled your room as peter stood there not saying a word. watching as peter nervously swayed from one foot to the other.

"i know I'm not the best at keeping up with stuff" peter mumbled, avoiding your gaze. "yea, I've gathered that" you harshly said, "it's easy too when your boyfriend misses all your dates basically".

"y/n i try but i have to help them!" peter replied, staring at your face, noticing the puffy red under your eyes. "you've been crying-" peter softly whispered. "of course i have peter! you've stood me up for what feels like the 100th time."

"do you even know how draining this is peter? whenever you stand me up i always feel so horrible, its like you don't love me anymore peter," you confessed, a feeling of weight lifting your shoulders. "of course i love you y/n," peter mumbled, his voice wavering.

"then why can't you make time for me peter?!" you asked. "i do y/n but's its hard with having to be spiderman," peter said, noticing your trembling figure. "god peter it doesn't even feel like we're dating," you mumbled as you wiped your tears away.

"i don't mind when you blow me off when you're saving someone peter- but could you at least tell me instead of ghosting me-... and its just the fact that even if you do have time for us you just brush it off, it feels like your not trying at all anymore. you've immersed yourself so much into being spiderman that you're pushing me away and i have no time to talk to you about this ever because you're never there!" you cried.

"y/n... i didn't know" peter mumbled guilty, walking towards you before pulling you into a hug only for you to pull away quickly. "that's cause you're never there peter" you laughed as tears fell down even more.

"i-" peter was quickly cut off by police sirens, red and blue filling your room. peter stayed quiet as he continued to gaze out the window, before looking at you. " y/n..." peter mumbled, slowly letting go of you, continuing to gaze out the window than at you.

"god just go peter," you rubbed your nose sniffling as peter stayed still for a moment before slowly walking towards the window. "y/n I'm really sorry-" peter quickly apologized, clutching his mask in his hand.

"just leave peter" you whispered. peter stared at you before pulling his mask over his head. closing your window softly before swinging away. leaving you.

all fics belong to @myoirv !! please do not copy my work <33

[writemyaceattorneys]

Not 🐸anon but i love self aware aus and the possibilites that come to mind...

Imagine phoenix always having to keep his thoughts in check because the player does have direct access to them

Ot maybe perhaps payne simply doesnt exist because edgeworth/whatevee other prksecutor there is depending on the game wants more time to be around them.

In the 3d games perhaps theres a lot more sprites per se since a rig is much easier to manipulate a bunch of pixels and conveys a lot more

Handholding. A lot of handholding.

Phoenix cant be left alone akdhaks curses of being the player POV

A lot more court cases. The games not over yet :)

One of my favourite things about slef aware aus is the yandere lads pulling a giffany and taking the player into their world, or perhaps pulling the opposite and entering their reality. Tbh im not quite sure what'd be next after that but it would be certainly quite the event to go to bed and then see characters in person

I really enjoy reading your stuff! I dont tend to go on anon and ask much but just in case may I be 🌌anon? Cheers ^^

Of course 🌌anon!! (I am typing this so while I see the starry night emoji on my phone, its just a milky way on my laptop and I'm forever terrified that the emojis won't translate haha)

Miles/Klavier/Simon/Nayhuta really just up and delete Payne from the game, none of them even get a look in

good, I hate those guys they are all so annoying

Something else I think might happen is you know at the start of cases they have the cinematic bits to show the crime and sometimes reveal who the killer is, I think that someone would censor those bits, who would is up to anyone's interpretation but whoever it is would do it to try and spare S/O's feelings.

And I completely agree that in the 3D games, characters are just going to up and deviate from their set sprites, it must be quite hard to have to move every single pixel when with 3D rigs, as you say its a lot easier because fluid movements are already made for the sprites.

I think that in the 2D games, each character would be able to force themselves into one deviated sprite, so they'd really have to make those sprites count.

Phoenix would be LIVING the life though, but in the rare occasions where we get perspectives from other characters (for example, Maya in Justice For All or even Mia's case or Edgeworth's perspective in Trials and Tribulations) Phoenix would definitely still interfere where he can, just so S/O doesn't forget that he's there (much to everybody else's disgust of course)

AND AGJGHGHGH MORE CASES YES PLEASE, honestly if the cost of a crap ton more cases to play is being obsessed over by pretty much everybody in the game series I really wouldn't complain too much.

No but the idea of half of the characters showing up one day after climbing out of the console is uh 😳👉👈 yes please

Especially if we are dragging literally every character out, I'm talking faces like younger Mia, Feenie and Bratworth. The interaction with their "older" counterparts would also be absolutely brilliant to be honest.

I have no idea what sort of harem I'm building here oh god 😂😂😂😂

I think characters from later games would heavily protest against S/O being pulled into an earlier game, there'd probably be a situation like in that AA6 DLC Court skit special where characters from earlier games would show up in the 3D games.

I mean if Oldbag can do it to try and get to Edgeworth, half of the Ace Attorney harem can do it to get to S/O. For that reason I think that everybody would have to settle with living in S/O's world, otherwise SOJ Edgeworth is just going to end up banishing any old sprites that come through straight to the shadow realm.

[m4rkiza]

pile of headcanons

bunch of raihan/leon headcanon nonsense from my twit*r

theres alot under the cut, warning : its cheesy, also, i headcanon raihan calling leon "bubu"

Raihan is really good at baking and leon is great at cooking savory & spicy food, raihan likes spicy food and leon likes baked goods, they complete each other

Leon so thick and firm he'd be so good to hug and raihan took advantage of that, holding his bubu until leon complains or whine, yknow when ur pet looks so cute and u hug them, like that

leon contacts name on raihans phone is like "♥💖my bubu♥💕", but raihans contact name on leons phone is "Raihan" with capital R

raihan complained about it, showed leons contact name on his phone, leon is surprised bc he thought his contact name on raihans phone is just "Leon" or "Lee"

then leon changes rai's contact name too "🥰raihoney💖

leon doesnt look like the guy who'd be extra on hair and skin treatment, the reason his hair and skin (especially his hair) is unbearably soft and shiny is bc raihan kept reminding him to do so (and buying it)

sometimes leon act spoiled so raihan will do an entire haircare for him

yes raihan do it bc he loves leon unconditionally and he thinks leon deserves it

raihan has a dirty mouth and uses every swear word but for some reasons, around leon all he can say is "jerk" "ugly" and "dumb"

raihan does that bc all he remember when hes with leon is pet names and how-to-coo-and-woo-your-boyfriend

raihan being leons moral compass feels fitting, not bc leon is dumb but bc leon himself is swallowed by his own title and got the hero complex, making him selfless and have a hard time to say no

raihan is there to "what the fuck are you thinking, dont do that baby, you'll die"

but leon seems stubborn yes? he wont listen if people just say "no", he'd ask the reason why, and if the said person doesnt give a clear answer, he leaves but raihan always tries to explain him in full description, short & long lasting damage, consequence etc

so obviously leon listens, and as time goes by, raihan is.. his moral compass, in a way

raihan playfully growls while squeezing leons body parts but its definitely not so playful in leons mind

raihan always ask leon to wear his freshly-washed-hoodie at sunday so when he go to work at monday, his hoodie will smell like leon

raihans laugh is like "aha haha haha *low volume wheeze* phew heehee" and leon got a laugh that can trigger an earthquake

Raihan sneeze like a kitten while leon sneeze like a buldozer

Leon muffles his laugh by hugging raihan so it wont surprise anyone around them

leon demanding affection from raihan by giving him stupid empty threats

leon : Kiss me or ill

raihan : u will what

leon : i-i will shrink your hoodie and make it mine

raihan : no, now come here bubu

In reality, leon doesnt need to do "things" to get raihans attention, raihan told him he can just ask or "just sit on my lap or tug my shirt and ill cuddle and kiss you till the next day", but leons ego is too high for that so he does stupid shit instead

raihan is very loved by leons family bc surprisingly hes able to stop leon and hop from fighting

if u ask how, raihan simply pick up leon up and walk away

aihan is the only guy who leon will listen too and got called as the "champion tamer"

but all raihan do is just

raihan : bubu, no

leon : no..?

raihan : leon. no

leon : no...

then nag him softly while explaining the consequences, sometimes short and long term effect it depends on the situation

leon is stubborn, so it took sometime to convince him that his plan or an action he almost took to partake is very impulsive or doesnt give a good result

the thing is leon is not stupid, infact hes quite brilliant, therefore its hard to convince him if a person who tries to stop him doesnt have a similiar mind like he is, but thankfully theres raihan

for some reasons raihan is able to found leon in any occasion so the league staff ALWAYS calls him whenever leons gone

league staff : mr rai-

raihan : is it leon

league staff : yes

raihan : im on my way

leon likes to ask raihan for hairbands bc he kept losing them

raihan : bubu, isnt this your third time asking for them this week

leon : ....yes..?

raihan spoiling leon bc he feels he wants to make up for him, bc he wasnt available near leon when fought eternatus

leon follows raihan everywhere in the winter and kept pressing himself to him, whenever raihan question whats wrong leon just looked him in the eye and "im warming you up"

leon is small by raihans perspective but he hugs leon tight anyway

raihan is possessive of leon hes THAT hot, charismatic yet very adorable, leon is the one who keeps his chin up and soothe his fears, and hes the champion, everyone wants the champion, u think he'll let go that easily? no, never

and leon is probably possessive too, raihan is a hot nerd, affectionate and gentle, hes the one who push him to his best, the one who also stops him for doing too much, hes his source of comfort and he wont let go and wont let anyone take his raihan away from him for sure

10 years of friendship and healthy rivalry means 10 years of being on each others live, being one of the biggest contributor and supporter for the other, who pushes to the limit yet stopping when one is too close to the edge of the cliff

no matter if its platonic or romantic, they wont let anyone take their rival, friend and lover away that easy, you wont let anyone try to take away one of the important and huge part of your life

raihan big, so hes the big spoon, he loves cooing right at leons ears and kissing the back of his neck, shoulders and sometimes reaches forward to press a sloppy wet kiss to leons cheek

leon crying to raihan when he founds out raihan smokes when hes stressed out, and begging the other to stop and talk to him instead or cope with healthier way

raihan doesnt need an alarm clock to wake him up, leons just need to grin and say "good morning!" its so bright it WILL wake him up

raihan and leon lives together and since then the outfit leon has on his wardrobe is a collection of formal tailored outfits and his battle tower outift, some booty shorts and work out clothing, and obviously underwear and socks.the rest he just stole from raihan

especially t-shirts, hoodies, and jacket, raihan seeing him walking and opening his wardrobe after shower is such a common occurence that he doesnt even need to ask anymore

raihan looks like the type who carries lipbalm and hand cream in his hoodie pocket, he carries 2, 1 cocoa lipbalm for him and honey lipbalm for leon. whenever he met leon, he applies the lip balm on him, it becomes habit that leon even raise his chin up for raihan

leon can sleep alone fine, but when he woke up he felt groggy,but if he slept on top of raihan he'd woke up like he had a perfect 8 hours sleep even tho he slept for only 5 hours

raihan is a heavy sleeper but waking up with leon glued to his chest/back make his whole day better,especially when he woke up to leon peppering his face with kisses to wake him up

raihan being lowkey flustered and overwhelmed by leons beauty/cuteness/sexiness/everything while leon is being clingy and acting spoiled around him

leon cant be serious around raihan, when he saw the gym leader,he automatically let his guard down infront of him, changing from champion leon to leon from postwick, all giddy and happy

leon unzips his champion outfit and once raihan heard the zipping sound he zooms to leon to plant his face between leons chest

if leon wants attention from raihan he will do various things from holding his arm and press his head to raihans shoulders,sitting on his lap and loop his arm around raihans neck,hugging him from the front and put on a cute face

but if raihan wants attention he just, hug leon from behind,put his head on leons shoulder and doesnt let go until leon does SOMETHING

leon has been taking care of others for so long,so when raihan takes care of him ,its a new,yet quite familiar feeling.

its hard to accept since he felt bad about receiving the attention,but raihan kept doing it until leon tend to act spoiled around him

raihan always kiss leons forehead before he sleeps,when raihan is away, he has the urge to videocall raihan so he can coo him to sleep,but hes too embarrassed to do it

he thought abt that and raihan suddenly videocalling him,its noon on the region he visited, and hes like "heeeey, i just want to say good night to my beloved!! good night leon,sweet dreams,sorry bc i cant kiss your forehead but ill kiss u 10x more when im back"

leon was shocked and stared to his camera "lee? fuck,is the connection that bad-" and leon stuttered "n-no! i was surprised...thank you darling, have fun and stay safe okay?"

"of course! dont stay up thinking abt me for too long,i love you so much bubu,good night!

"..good afternoon raihoney,i love you too" leon stayed up for the next 20 minutes rolling around the bed screaming

raihan actually helps leon on taking care of his dragons, which made leons dragonmons actingspoiled around raihan,and sometimes leon thinks that his dragons loves raihan more than him

raihan plays with his dragonmon as if hes playing with a yamper,calling them "cute little babywubby" and playing with their hands,kissing their foreheads and lays with them on the floor,and of course leon joins in by laying on top or next to raihan

even leon have seen raihan carrying his dragapult like a baby with a baby axew hugging his legs, raihan is legit a dragon pokemon magnet

raihan has a habit of cooing or complimenting at leon even when hes doing the simplest thing ever and leon feels giddy like a 5 y.o everytime raihan does it

can u imagine how many pictures of leon raihan have on his phone,its probably more than 1000, he takes picture of leon as if hes a baby pokemon

leon comes to raihans place at 2 am without any warning,i mean raihan DID gave him a spare key so, raihans flat is HIS flat too,and there he goes,going to the bedroom and slip himself under the duvet,crawling to sleep closer to raihan

at first raihan is SO surprised that he jumped from the bed,but now he doesnt care anymore and just kiss leons head,mumbles "goo'nite bubh" and sleep again

leon does it so often that if hes gone from his apartment,people call raihan instead of him

raihan hugging leon from the back while leon is doing stuff in the kitchen while singing,and raihan is there like,peppering smooches and compliments while leon is STILL singing,and giggling bc raihan is smooching him

raihan is BAD at it but he sings along with leon in a joking manner and leon cant even sing anymore bc hes just wheezing while raihan is just "cmOn bAbeEEe SING AgAiiiNNnn"

[estaticheart]

hi omg may i request a draco fic where they mutually break up and aren’t friends or anything after but like over the course of a few months they start to miss eachother but see the other in other flings/attention from other people and they kinda silently sit with thinking it’s unrequited love but then one night they have an argument out of jealousy (maybe dracos jealous) and they get back together 🥺

A/N: of course you can i loved this idea!!

“He’s such a fucking idiot.” You complained from your view of Draco on the Gryffindor table. You friends had probably had enough of you complaining by now but that didn’t stop you not when Draco has about 4 girls hanging of him. Harry and Ron turned around from copying homework to look at Draco Malfoy, to them both it wasn’t an unusual scene for Draco to have girls flocking around him. 

“I mean y/n you did break up about a month ago, you aren’t together anymore.” Ron rationalised from his point of view. Only angering you more by his words you looked up at the ginger boy. “Well Ronald you don’t see me walking around like him, at least I have some decency.” You seethed, you’d had enough of watching him. 

Harry and Ron glanced nervously at one another because when you got like this there was nothing saving you, especially when you said Ronald not Ron. “Do you think maybe you still have feelings for him y/n?” Harry suggested anxiously. You rolled your eyes and tore your eyes from Draco to shoot daggers at Harry. “Don’t be ridiculous Harry. I cant stand that bloody pureblood.” Ron glanced up questionably. “Sorry Ron.” You added on.

“Harry! Stop cheating!” Hermione shrieked unexpectedly from behind you, gathering the attention of all three of you, well somewhat you. As the three went on to battle over the homework you couldn’t help but drift over to Draco once more. Yet, this time his eyes were on you too. His infamous smirk appeared when he noticed you looking at him, and then with his eyes on you he layed a kiss on the cheek of the Beauxbaton girl next to him. “I hate you Draco Malfoy.”

-

The next day at dinner you decided to one up Draco. Throughout the year relationship you had with him, he was always rather jealous of Dean Thomas, a close friend of your family. So what’s the best way to make him jealous? Dean Thomas on your arm. 

“Are you sure y/n?” Dean asked for the millionth time as you walked closer towards the Great Hall about ten minutes later than most people. You were fixed on making sure Draco saw you. “Come on, we are going in.” You told him not even answering his stupid question, but dragging his arm around your waist and pushing the doors open.

As you both walked through the hall towards your normal seats, gasps eruted from people from all four tables- it was widely known that Draco was always jealous of Dean. And now he probably wanted to kill him. You were well aware Draco was watching you walking with him.

After spending a year with Draco Malfoy, you knew when he was mad. Easily able to tell from the crease in his brows or even the pale white colour spreading over his clenching fists. Nevertheless, you acted as if you hadn’t even noticed him sitting at the Slytherin table. Sitting down now, you moved yourself closer to Dean, now pratically hanging off of him. 

Deciding that you had to know what Draco looked like now, your eyes peeked at him finding exactly what you wanted. His eyes were riveted on you, not in the way you wanted it to be. Cheekily, you beamed up at Draco sending a sly wink over to him. Although he was about a dozen meters away you could read his lips with ease, “I hate you Y/n Y/l/n.”

-

You watched from the clock tower as people ran about in their cloaks, laughing and giggling with one another. Particularly, a sixth year couple hidden in the corner of an arch. Their arms were wrapped round each other, slowly moving up and down each others back. Faces of love and warmth, something you were once familiar with. Your mind couldn’t help but drift to a world where you had love. Love was something you knew well enough, an old childhood friend. 

Thinking of a love, someone to share and cherish moments with together. Someone to run around Hogwarts with laughing and joking around. Someone to hold close in your dormitory when winter settled over Hogwarts. But there was only one person you could imagine being with and doing those things with. Draco Malfoy.

-

Ever since you realised that you liked Draco Malfoy, again, you couldn’t help but notice the little things he does that made you in awe. The way his hand held his satchel over his shoulder, his veins becoming more visible.

You had been walking to your transfiguration class, running slightly late due to waking up a lot later than you had pre-empted to. Your legs, whisked past the other latecomers scattered around the halls. The speed you had gained worked to your advantage until you suddenly stopped against a wall. The impact creating you to fall onto the floor, the books you held in your hands clattered everywhere.

Your hand brought itself to your head, a pain unlike any other vibrating in your forehead. “Fuck.” You moaned, your vision becoming faded very rapidly. Sadly you couldn’t even feel the hand plastered to your face anymore. Then another hand reached out to touch it over yours, “Y/n get up.” The voice instructed, their strength holding you up against their body. Before you could even react to the uninvited touch you felt your vision fade completely.

-

“Y/n wake up already.” A familiar voice, spoke in your ear. Pushing through through the pain you opened your eyes, trying to look past the fuzzy vision you had. When they eventually opened enough to see clearly enough, you saw the last person you expected.

The fluffy blonde hair could be spotted from a mile away, his blue orbs staring right back into yours. “Draco?” You rhetorically asked, already knowing that it was definitely him. You could also definitely tell that you were in Draco’s dormitory.

“Hey, sweet one. Took you long enough.” He joked, taking your hand in his stroking it slightly. “I’m kind of out of it right now Draco. But I’m going to think that you are flirting with me.” You smirked, looking over at him slightly, hand still in yours.

Draco looked away from your eyes, shaking his hide slightly. “Maybe I am, what would you know? You’re knocked out.” He kidded, pushing his back with his spare hand, leaving a view of his flirtatious wink. “Maybe I’m better than you know.” You retaliate, hoping he can sense the hidden message underneath what you said.

“Oh y/l/n your much better than i could ever now.”

[twistedlymad]

UwU Your writing is amazing !!!!! I loved the puppy and cat escapades \ ^o^ / . Would you be willing to do one in wich the mc is bullied by the extras, because you know, no magic and already a director, how would the boys react?? Will this be the end of the extras?!?? Ill be eternally gratefull. iTs okay if you cant throug. Hope you have a wonderfull day, and dont forget to drink plenty of water, and take breakes. Take care of yourself!!!!

Originally, I had planned this to be another chaos fic, but, I realize while writing this, that bullying is something that cannot be taken lightly. In the Twst Fandom, we also had our fair share of bullying from a few anons and that isn’t okay. 

So, in writing this fic, I made it more sentimental and just so you guys know, if you’re having a bad day or a bad time in general, feel free to talk to anyone, including me! Do not ever hold in your sadness. 

But anyway, I hope this fic lives up to your expectations anon! Thank you for requesting and have a lovely day!

What if you got bullied? (Ft. Everyone!!)

What was supposed to be a great day, turned out to be the worst day you could ever have at Night Raven College.

Your day started off normally, in fact, it started off well! You woke up with a good mood. You saw the furball that you loved so much beside you, sleeping peacefully. You smiled as you gently shook him awake.

“Grim, wake up, it’s already morning.”

“Fgnaaaaa, five… more minutes…” The sleeping creature said, swatting your hand away. You just shook your head at his antics.

“No can do, remember what Crowley would do if he caught us being late again.” You said and the creature’s eyes immediately shot opened and he jumped out of the bed, scurrying about to get ready for the day. You saw his slightly panicking self and giggled to yourself.

“(Y/N)! We shouldn’t be dancing and prancing! If we do, we’re going to be late!” Said the creature as he saw you heading over to your closet in a small waltz.

“Oh, Grim, I woke you up 10 minutes earlier than usual.” You said as you grabbed your uniform and headed to the bathroom. “You have 10 minutes to spare, take your time.” And you left the mumbling little furball in the room, face planting himself back into the bed after hearing your words.

The first half of your day had gone by rather quick and uneventful, not that you were complaining though. It’s nice to not have fights and chaos to settle every once in a while. You had a lot of laughs and smiles here and there with your group of first-year goofballs.

However, your peaceful day was about to turn upside down.

You were walking back to your classroom. Your friends were reserving your spot in Professor Trein’s class while you went to Crowley’s office to take care of some business involving Ramshackle Dorm. You and Grim made your way down the hall to the class.

Some students saw this and thought it was a great opportunity to make you trip and fall. So, one of them stuck out his leg while you were making you were walking. You didn’t have enough time to react and ended up falling for their antics. You immediately turned your body around so Grim, who was in your hands, would be shielded using your body. Your back hit the ground, HARD. A few gasps here and there were heard.

Grim rose his head from your chest to see you using your elbow to prompt yourself up.

“Fgnaaa! (Y/N)!” The furball immediately went to help you up by providing some support.

“Oh, sorry, didn’t see you there.” The student who tripped you said as his friends were laughing.

“School rules say that no magic or fights are allowed on school grounds.” His friends snickered.

“I’m fine… Just… Let me get up.” You said to Grim, who was still helping you.

“Pffft, look at her, so defenseless, she shouldn’t even be at this school!” The student said harshly.

“Hello?! Night Raven College is a place for prestigious mages. Not humans who can’t use magic and defend themselves.” Another student said to you.

“And to think she’s a prefect! Hahahahaha! You couldn’t even compare to the other dorm leaders!” His friend added and they all agreed.

“Looks like Crowley had made a huge mistake in bringing you here, why don’t you just crawl back to that sad excuse for a dorm of yours alongside your lousy furball!” And the group of students cackled at their snarky comments about you.

You just drooped your head down. Even though you didn’t want to admit it, but, they were right.

You had no magic, you were ridiculed at the entrance ceremony but, Crowley still gave you a place to stay and he even made you an official student here. While others struggled in getting here, you sort of knew why they hated you.

You tried your best to hold in your tears as you felt them pricking at the corner of your eyes while your friends defended you.

But, one comment had pushed past your boundaries.

“You’re not even considered to be human in my eyes! To me, you’re just trash. Go find a trash can and make yourself at home!”

Was… Was this what the other students really thought about you? Trash? Useless? No value? You closed your eyes, taking everything in, ignoring everything and everyone else around you. And proceeded to walk away without saying a single word.

Grim shouted for you but you payed no attention to him and just kept speed walking. Your walking slowly became running and you were then running as fast as you could, just letting your legs lead the way. After awhile of running at full speed, you had slowed down and stopped to take a breather. You looked around to see where you were in order for you to get back to school if needed.

However, you were back at Ramshackle Dorm. Your dorm. The tears you had been holding back flowed out as you took slow steps to the dorm you loved. You went in and closed the door behind you. Leaning your back against the door, you cried out your heart as you slowly slid down.

All the student’s words are stuck in your head, reminding you of what everyone else thinks of you. Your tears just kept flowing as you used your sleeves to wipe them away.

‘They’re right, I’m not meant to be here in the first place.’ You thought to yourself. ‘If everyone hates me so, then, I should just disappear.’ You said in your mind as you stood up and went to your room.

You packed some clothing and madol, ready to leave and hopefully start a new life outside of Night Raven College. You stuffed everything into a duffel bag and went to the main entrance of your dorm. You placed your hand on the doorknob, thinking of a route to leave the school undetected. But when you opened the door…

You were faced with everyone you ever knew.

And I mean everyone! Your group of best friends, the dorm-leaders and your seniors. They were all gathered in front of your dorm.

“Ahh! (Y/N)!! I’m so glad we found you!” Ace said as he, Deuce, Epel, Jack, Sebek and Grim came to hug you. You were surprised, too shocked to even register what had happened.

“We heard about the incident today, we already reported it to the headmaster.” Riddle said.

“But the first-years also reported that you were nowhere to be found. So, we came looking for you and your dorm was the only place we haven’t checked.” Azul continued.

“So, we all gathered here after our search!” Kalim concluded. The first-year boys pulled away from their hug and they noticed your bag.

“(Y/N)? What’s going on? Why are you leaving?” Epel asked you. Your eyes slowly travelled to the bag.

“Um…” You started but Deuce cut you off.

“Is it because of those damned students?” Deuce asked you. “Did they threaten you?”

Now, everyone’s eyes were on you. You averted their stares by lowering your head.

“No…” You said, dropping the duffel bag.

“They didn’t threaten me. But, what they said was true, was it not?” You lifted your head to let everyone see your tear-filled eyes. “I am just a human, I don’t possess any magic powers and yet here I am in this school for magicians. Not only that, but I am also the dorm leader for this dorm and I have been made a prefect! Isn’t that unfair to everyone else?” You said out loud, letting everyone hear you.

“I understand why they would have these kinds of thoughts. I understand why they hate me. That’s why I thought that if I have left, no one would have these kinds of thoughts ever again. After, I am the problem, aren’t I?” You concluded.

Truth be told, the boys were shocked. They… They have never seen this side of you. Heck, they never thought you would be capable of producing these types of thoughts. In their eyes, you were always so cheerful and kind, even when things got out of hand, you would remain calm and solve the problem to the best of your abilities. To think someone this pure and precious to them would have such depressing and degrading thoughts is beyond them.

However, this shocked Grim the most. The creature practically lived with you for so long and he didn’t even have a single clue of this side of you was scaring him.

“No, you’re wrong.” Grim lowly mumbled, but you couldn’t hear him.

“What?” You asked the furball.

“YOU’RE WRONG!” He practically screamed at you.

“Grim-chan…” Cater said softly.

“Even if you did leave, their thoughts won’t change! You’re not the problem! It’s them!” The furball yelled to you. Everyone was taken aback by Grim’s sudden outburst. But the first-years were quick to back him up.

“That’s right! It’s not your fault (Y/N)!” Ace said to you.

“Students at NRC are picked by the mirror of darkness. No one can easily come and go in this school.” Leona reminded everyone.

“Exactly, you arrived here for a reason.” Rook said.

“You assisted us with our overblots, not every child of man could do that.” Malleus said, representing every dorm leader.

“You had us working together in sync during the Inter-High Magift Tournament.” Ruggie added.

“You brought us together as friends.” Sebek stated.

“Most importantly, you let me have a place here at NRC. Because of you, we were only able to attend the school as a student.” Grim said. “No one has ever done something like that for me before.” The creature said as he slowly crawled up to you.

Everyone’s words had stunned you. You were so busy thinking about the negative comments about you, you forgot about all your relationships with your friends and seniors.

Like, how you always had tea in Heartslabyul. Riddle would always invite you to have tea with him and the others, you would enjoy the peacefulness of the dorm under the supervision of their dorm leader. Trey would always ask for your help in the kitchen and you would have a fun time with him while making sweets and desserts for everyone. Cater would whisk you away to either a selfie-session in the dorm’s gardens or a photoshoot in any new place that the he had found to be photogenic. Ace and Deuce would invite you to play croquet with them from time to time, of course, you were very careful with the flamingos and hedgehogs as you didn’t want to hurt any of them, but, you couldn’t resist in using the flamingo to bonk on either Ace’s or Deuce’s head every once in awhile. It’s okay though, the flamingo understood completely.

Like, how you always trained yourself in Savanaclaw. Leona would sometimes go easy on you if you were invited to join one of their many Magift activities, although, you weren’t sure if he was pitying you or he was just being lazy in general. You would help Ruggie prepare food for everyone as you knew he could use an extra hand or two, it also meant you could pick up a new recipe here and there and you got to taste test all the food. Jogging sessions with Jack were also a normal thing, hey, if you’re going to be joining in Magift tournaments without magic powers, the least you could do is train yourself physically.

Like, how you always felt welcomed at Octavinelle. Azul would welcome you into the VIP lounge when Mostro Lounge was extremely busy and you couldn’t find a place to sit at. You would also help out around Mostro Lounge when you saw that the place was packed to the brim. Usually, Jade would entrust you with drinks while he and Floyd went to prepare food for everyone else. When Mostro Lounge closed its doors for the day, you would enjoy some tea with the three underwater mermen or you and Grim would play around with Floyd, pranking other students and dorm leaders. Heck, you and Floyd even pulled off a few enormous pranks against the staff members.

Like, how you would be invited to feasts and parties at Scarabia. Kalim would always have a big smile on his face whenever he invited you to go dine with him at Scarabia. Jamil always appreciated your help in the dorm, let it be helping him prepare food for the party that Kalim had just decided to have five minutes ago or just keeping an eye on the dorm leader while he went to settle some other business involving the dorm.

Like, how you would have small makeovers at Pomefiore. Every time you walked past the beauty-queen/king, you were immediately stopped by him, because either your bow or tie was crooked or your hair was a mess, well no matter the case, Vil would fix it for you. When you visited Pomefiore from time to time, Vil would take the chance to give you high quality beauty products to try and he would always go on a rant on how you should always take care of your image. Sometimes, Rook would sweep you away just to go on a mini hunt with him. Although, let’s be real here, you two always ended up spying on Leona at the Botanical Gardens while he skipped his classes. Epel would whisk you away to his room and teach you to on how to carve apples. You managed to carve a few of the staff members and even your friends onto the apples, of course, you would carve on a few extra features onto your masterpieces. Like, say, a moustache for Ace or funky-looking ears for Crowley. You also helped to keep Epel in check whenever Vil and Rook were teaching the first-years on table manners and proper etiquette.

Like, how you would enjoy mini-gaming sessions at Ignihyde. Usually, you would initiate the session with Idia. You two ended up playing both Co-Op and PvP games. While playing games that require you to cooperate, the two of you would discuss your plans and pick out the best course of action. The same cannot be said for Free-For-All games though. A few minor insults here and there are thrown between the two of you. But at the end, the victor will always do a little happy dance before continuing onto the next game. You loved Ortho like your own brother! Always treating him to various desserts and helping him drag his brother out from his room. Ortho looks up to you like a sister as well. There may have been a few times he’s actually called you big sis.

Like, how you would go on quaint little walks at Diasomnia. If you needed a breather, you would usually find yourself at Diasomnia. Due to a large forest surrounding the building and the silent atmosphere the dorm provides, it is the exact place where you would go to take a walk to clear your mind. Malleus would sometimes accompany you on these quaint little walks. You and Tsunotaro would chat about your everyday lives and problems the first-years would create. Lilia would make some tea for you after your walks and you would enjoy the tea and bits of biscuits and crumpets alongside the tea. You would also break up arguments between Silver and Sebek. The two would get into fights about the tiniest of things, from blaming each other for losing track of Malleus to blaming each other for not preparing for a test. Sometimes, Silver would accompany you on your walk instead of Malleus and you two would also have little chats here and there. Other than that, Sebek’s view of you actually improved after befriending him. He used to think you were a powerless human as well but after spending time with him and your friends, he realizes that you aren’t just any human being.

But for Grim, you had the greatest impact in his life. You accepted him, you took care of him, you loved him. And he loved you back, just as much. To him, you were his family since he had never had one.

In conclusion, you matter.

You. Are. Of. Value.

You are precious to them, you bring peace to them, you brought them together as a whole.

Once that thought had nested in your brain, you realized that you were foolish in having these thoughts in the first place.

“I’m sorry…” You said, crying. Grim went and hugged you.

“It’s not your fault… Just know that we’re here for you.” Said the furball as everyone also came and comforted you. You had spent the day with them as a whole, you watched a few movies, horror movies in that case. It was fun hearing the dorm leaders and their members scream shout yell made a loud sound whenever a jumpscare appeared.

You guys also played games together, but, I am not allowed to share any details because I actually know nothing. No, I’m totally not being threatened here Reader-san, don’t worry about me.

Send help pls.

Also, after the bullying incident, the boys were a bit more protective around you when in class/school. Usually, your group of first-years would accompany you wherever you go, let it be from your dorm to the cafeteria or from the class to another dorm, at least one of them will be at your side. And when they couldn’t be there, either a dorm leader or an upperclassman would be near you. Any student who seem like they have bad intentions to either you or Grim, would face unspeakable consequences.

And I mean unspeakable. So, I cannot inform you of these consequences as I am under an oath to not reveal anything. Um. Yeah. Good luck persuading the boys to tell you : )

[scandeniall]

falling in love | atsumu m.

pairing: atsumu x reader

warnings: few curse words. Yk the usual; aged up/post time skip

alternatively; what its like falling and being in love with atsumu

thank u all for the thoughts on the sakusa version. figured i’d give another boy a try and am considering making this a series 

Falling in love with Atsumu feels like being on a roller coaster. There are so many ups and downs but you never want to get off. Falling in love with him requires time but once you do its the most amazing thing in the world. 

Its meeting at Onigiri Miya after he’s had a long and rough day at practice and you two order the same meal. The order is called off and in a haze of exhaustion he thinks its his grabbing the bag almost immediately bumping into you and dropping the bag. Hes so so tired and so so hungry that he nearly tears up before mumbling a series of expletives, not even processing any of the spew of apologies you shoot at him. Even worse when he finds out it wasn’t even his order he dropped, because so much for a free meal. He’s in shock when you decline him buying you a new one because he “looks ready to drop dead at any moment.” He barely processes the way Osamu comes out both annoyed at the mess and amused at his frozen twin before telling you a replacement was on the house and forcing Atsumu to go nap in the back for a little because driving home. 

Its how after that night, he’d started seeing you more and more at the shop, very brief conversations here and there leading up to him asking for your number since “ya seem to come here as much as me.” At some point he found out that its because its your roommate’s favorite spot and picking up dinner is on your way home (not that you've ever mentioned that you’d gotten to enjoy the view of both the cook and his brother.)

Its the friendship you develop with his twin and fit right in with their friends. In some whirlwind of conversation you expressed concern for him (as a stranger) to where his brother said it wasn’t unusual for him to come in, half dead, eat and sleep off some of his exhaustion before heading home. It wasn’t all the time, but often enough. However, accidentally stealing someone else's food was a new one for him. You jokingly called Atsumu sleeping beauty, which was the start of it. The two of you frequently teamed up against the twin, to tease at him and no matter how much Atsumu claimed to hate it and he wishes you two despised each other, he cant hide the smile that tugs at him. 

Its the moments like the one when you met where you end up picking him from practice, catching a ride to the gym because he's so so tired and wants nothing more than to stuff his face and sleep for days. Just months into your friendship he’s trusting you with his car, because you seem that dependable. The praises of you being a good friend as his hand lingers against yours after passing the keys over to you. The way he looks slumped against the cars window has something stirring inside of you. You take a picture for blackmail later and to reinforce how much better he is when hes not talking. 

Its how he sits on your couch eating all your snacks while he shit talks all the guys that appear on your tinder. Calls some of them jobless losers, and its the frist time he admits that he thinks you're hot. “Yer too hot for that guy”, while swiping left on all of them (even the ones you would’ve gone right for.) The way you retort confirming that he thinks you’re hot has him speechless and stuttering, insisting that he didnt mean it like that, yet can’t explain how he meant it. 

The times you bicker and he suddenly becomes the worst friend you have. The time you two had stopped talking for like a month, mad over something you’d forgotten a week later. Yet, all you knew is that you were supposed to be mad. He could “go to hell” and you were “so fucking annoying.” Over the course of your friendship he’d made it a habit of taking things from you; your favorite mug because he still had a drink in it when it was time for him to go. Your fuzzy socks that he’d claimed during a movie night, because your apartment was way too cold. The spare reusable bottle because he forgot his and was already on his way to the gym. You’d resorted to trying to slowly get your stuff through Osamu, but by week 3 he’d grown tired of it. He promised you both a free meal if you came and helped him close up one night, before forcing you two to talk it out. Within five minutes the two of you are laughing. 

Your first date had been one by accident of some sorts. You’d been walking around a shopping center at night and he’d caught view of a new ice cream shop. It was his cheat weekend and he suggested stopping. His treat. Some time in between you going home he’d teased that it felt like a date. You both were hit with a oh shit kind of moment because it was true. Throughout the night your hands had brushed several times, and you’d both even let the other use your spoon to taste your different ice cream flavors. 

Atsumu’s feelings came relatively easy. He thought you were kind, funny, interesting, and of course attractive. You had a way of leaving him speechless with your quick and witty comeback, and it was refreshing. It’d been something he hadn’t seen much since his high school days with Aran. However he’d denied the feelings for the longest, swearing to himself that he’d never have a crush on you. You were just one of the bros, but better.But, after that first date its like the feelings just flooded out. It’d ended with you hinting that you’d be interested in going on another one, “perhaps a real one this time,” and he just nodded. 

There weren’t many dates before the two of you dived into your relationship. Afterall, you’d been friends for over a year and if he’d thought you were annoying he wouldve “been gotten rid of you.” His first act of the two of you becoming a couple, was a cute picture for his new wallpaper. It’d been a hassle to get because with every picture, one of you had a problem. The first time his roots were peaking through too much and he fussed at you for not telling him he needed a touch up. Then the one he liked you were blinking, and hed insisted you looked good anyways (or that he did). He’d recounted a time where he didn’t care about making memories, but it was different now. They made him who he was, and wanted to keep the memories of your growth. 

Its the nights before games that he spends with you doing self care (an act he used to pretend like he only did because you wanted to, before just begrudgingly admitting that he liked it too.) You’d gone to look for a specific face mask, before he admitted that he stole it and forgot to bring it back (when really he used it all up and was just waiting for you to buy another one so he could take that one too). When you rolled your eyes at him, he’d just brush it off a promise of returning it before opening his arms for you to return to your cuddle position. You were supposed to be watching a movie, but he’d pulled up old games of his future opponents and kept showing you interesting plays. One hand holding the phone, the other unconsciously rubbing circles onto your back. He asks if you’re paying attention to him and you admit that you aren’t at all and he sighs in over dramatic disappointment before locking the phone and focusing on you.  

Its the argument that almost led to your breakup that happened due to a miscommunication. You’d been out with friends, Atsumu already trying and failing to coax you into staying the night with him instead. All it had taken was a picture taken completely out of context for him to feel hurt. He really really liked you (borderline was ready to admit loving you)!and thought you’d at least felt a fraction of the same emotion towards him. That night he hadn’t thought through anything before sending the picture (snapped on who knows who’s phone) to you with a simple ‘I see how it is’. What made it even worse is that you hadn’t seen the picture right away. 

It’s how your heart dropped later that night when you were finally ready to head back to his, and your heart ached at how you called him several times only to be sent straight to voicemail. Your attempt at reaching his twin was lucky as he hadn’t even told him about what he thought had happened yet. Another strike of luck when Osamu believed you and ensured that this was a case of his brother acting first and thinking later. 

The makeup had been one both of relief and realization that the two of you needed to talk. It’s when you found out that he was in love with you and that he really did love hard. Just like with volleyball, he wasn’t sure what kind of dumb shit he’d be getting into if you weren’t there. Having to sit through the conversation was uncomfortable for him as he was often the one doing the scolding to others. However the difference was that you admitted that you could’ve handled it better as well (something he doesn’t do when he’s complaining about others).

Its the nights where he hits you up at 2am already outside begging you to just take a late night drive with you. He knows you can’t tell him no so he’s offering a smirk pushing the door open as you sleepily make your way in. His eyes soften at how cute you look (he’s definitely known to slip up and talk in a baby voice like this and yes you’ve blackmailed that ass when he annoys you). You tell him that you look like shit at the moment and he agrees before backtracking and still saying you look good. 

You end up at some late night drive through arguing about fries because “ya didn’t even wanna come out in the first place” and you both don’t need them. You could just share. The workers in the drive through literally have to tell y’all to hurry up to where he just glared at the faceless menu. You have to end up shouting over him the order that he still ends up complaining about. Even though you end up with the two different orders he eats all yours and every time you try and swat his hand away he exclaims that he bought them. 

Those nights you wake up pretty easily because he lowers the windows and turns up his throwbacks playlist pretty loud and sings terribly and just looks so happy. Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney comes on and he loves grabbing your hand at it while singing along. Those moments are a different kind of joy from when he’s playing volleyball. He’s not focused on a win or his team and how to celebrate. He’s living in the moment, happy and carefree and with his favorite person.

a/n: um yeah cant lie I do like the sakusa version better but here we go. another middle of the night ramble. 

[beatles-slash-fiction]

I noticed there is rarely any Lennison family/mpreg stuff 😭 so could we please maybe get george annoucing to john hes pregnant after they had to get through few miscarriages? And john gets emotional and cant stop hugging geo?🥺

WARNING: mentions of miscarriage

*****

The first time is an accident.

George turns up at John’s flat one evening with tears in his eyes to tell John the news.

John can’t say he’s surprised, exactly. Their casual shags have increased in frequency over the last few months, and they’ve never really bothered talking about contraception.

But John is worried. He’s not ready for this. He’s not ready to be a father, to raise a family, and he knows George is not ready either.

He’s no coward though. He’s not going to abandon George.

So John asks Brian to arrange a wedding for them as quickly as possible, and to help them to quietly concoct a story for the press about them conducting a secret romance over the last year.

They never make it as far as the wedding though.

George faints in the studio one afternoon a few weeks before they’re due to be married, and they immediately take him to the hospital when they realise he’s bleeding heavily.

John has no idea why he’s so sad about losing something he didn’t want in the first place.

“At least you’re not stuck being married to me now,” John says in an attempt at a joke, but George just looks at him with the most heartbroken expression John has ever seen.

He never thought it would be possible to feel so much grief for someone who didn’t even really exist.

*****

They do end up getting married in the end, about a year later.

George’s miscarriage actually brings them a lot closer together; John moves himself into George and Ringo’s flat so that he can help take care of the younger man (much to Ringo’s annoyance), and it makes John realise just how much he’s come to love George.

Their casual shagging turns into something a bit more serious, and within months they decide to get their own place together (much to Ringo’s delight).

John has never felt so sure of anything when he asks George to marry him, and they have a small ceremony for friends and family.

They both know the next logical step once they’re married, but neither of them really want to talk about it. The pain is still too fresh.

But then about six months later they’re on their way home from a party, and after fighting their way through a crowd of photographers and fans, George suggests that maybe they should move out of London.

“Surrey, maybe,” George says softly. “Where no one can find us. And we’ll need somewhere bigger if we ever think about having kids.”

That makes John realise how much he wants everything George has just described, and the very next day he immediately asks Brian to find some properties for them to look at.

*****

When George falls pregnant a few months later, the fear John had felt the first time doesn’t return.

This time he’s never been more sure that this is what he wants, and the joy in George’s smile only confirms that.

John spends all of his spare time working on the nursery. He paints it bright yellow and buys lots of stuffed animals for the baby. He attempts to build the cot by himself but has to call in Paul for support as he’s rather useless at DIY.

But he’s proud of the end result, and he can’t wait to meet the little one.

And then one night his worst fears come true.

George wakes John up complaining of cramps, and they discover blood on their sheets.

It’s even more painful this time.

This time George doesn’t get out of bed for days. He doesn’t want to see anyone. Not even John.

So John sits alone on the floor of the nursery, sobbing while he thinks of all the memories they never got to make in here.

******

They decide not to try again for a little while.

They need time to heal.

It does them both good, to just focus on their marriage and their work. George throws himself into gardening and John throws himself into songwriting.

If it’s possible, John thinks he loves George even more. He’s learnt resilience and patience and bravery from George in a way he’s never really had to before, and their marriage is stronger because of it.

And then one day the unexpected happens.

George comes and sits beside John at the piano one day, watching John play the melody of the tune he’s writing, and when he’s finished George kisses him and beams.

“I’m pregnant, y’know.”

John blinks, his heart stopping. “Eh? How did that happen?”

George rolls his eyes playfully.

“Well I know how it happened,” John says quickly, “but I mean...we weren’t even trying...”

George shrugs. “Maybe it’s meant to be.” He grins. “How do you feel? You might finally get to be a dad.”

John pulls George close, showering his face with kisses. “I can’t even tell you how happy I am. Are you happy?”

George nods with shining eyes, and that’s all John needs.

The fear and doubt that’s been clouding his mind seems so much further away now, and as long as they have each other he knows they’ll get through this.

They’ve never been stronger, and their baby will be stronger too.

[fandom-sheep]

Fundy 28 APR 21

Delayed Liveblog Vault Hunters Part 1/1

Our favorite fox is damp. And apparently can’t get his hair to sit right.

He’s already having to raise the redemption price. It’s been 5 seconds.

I don’t even quite get Vault Hunters I know Hbomb did it last season and that it.

Charm. Lovely.

Is the bottom right a confetti cannon?

Oh no we have to fight? We can’t be trusted.

We are the sort of people to purposefully lose the fight.

Don’t get me wrong. We love Fundy and will cry on command. But also we are rather mean to him.

Mystic Tomato. I don’t know what it is but I love it.

I was saving up Chanel points for water and ads. But now I gotta save for those and the little fun reward pack things.

Oh no. Did we hit 100 subs already? That’s what it says over his name?

Confetti canon?

5up! Hooray!

HBomb humoring Fundy with the emotes.

Fight fight fight!

So close. We tried out best to fight the giant.

Alright chat. We need another arena. Everyone get him.

Everyone in chat yelling about Phil doing stuff in OSMP. Wrong server y’all. We can deal with that later.

Ooo are we doing VC?

Everything is so chaotic already.

Tubbo and Fundy trying to figure everything out.

You know things are confusing when the original people are like “the what?”

There was a how to play meeting? And somehow these boys are still confused.

Tubbo at least has an excuse to be confused.

I love skill trees in games. They just look so pretty.

“I see a melon!” -Fundy

5up our beloved.

My streamer is being beat up with a boomerang.

Fundy doesn’t know what’s happening, but he’s rich so it works.

Tubbo is just saying every name in hopes he says the right one.

Pizza!

We attack!

WE WIN!

We did it! We’re a good chat!

Is 5ups skin still cog champ themed? Maybe not. Maybe my brain is being goofy.

Is Fundy complaining about his hair? I’m not actually paying attention. What is chat on about.

That’s one thing that can be said about all the chats. They like it when their streamers have fluffy hair.

Chat really is just crying aren’t they. Fundy’s chat has a skill of crying at everything.

Hooray 5up is active! Fundy go say hi for us!

Hooray friends!

Super good item! I don’t get it, but super good item!

ITS THE BEING!

Arena arena. We’re almost to the arena!

Aww. I missed the bets.

ARENA TIME!

Beat em up chat!

Oh no. He’s hitting hard.

WE DIDS IT!

ARENA TIME!

Oh were getting hit hard.

But we did it!

Good Job Wolf! Awesome Millionaire!

No arena box for winning. Rude.

Chat can’t even remember how many fights we’ve won.

Stupid full inventory.

Temporary base on the hill.

Pretty chest!

All the gifted subs. Such a popular streamer.

That looks so cool! I missed what it did but it looks cool!

Ooo all sorts of cool things.

Look at chat go

SHULKER SHELLS!

Look at everyone giving Fundy things.

It’s neato that they use peoples skins. That you can see the people who donated.

Shulker crates! Nice! That’ll be good for transporting things.

We’re so fancy.

Ooo sorting. The most complicated thing.

Chats over here spoiling our streamer.

Wool?

ARENA TIME!

We got this!

Beat em up subs!

WE WON!

Looting 2 noice.

Mods bribing chat to stop barking with Scooby snacks. I love them so much.

Wolf my dear you have done nothing wrong.

Oh cloud9 has a fox skin!

Ooo create mod. We know about that.

A lovely little base.

Cake is being stolen all over the place.

Stab stab the dragon.

Hooray follow goal! Music time!

Oh... that was it. Alrighty we’ll take what we can get.

Time to win an arena subs. We want music.

Our boy is confused.

Fundy just read the chat. They are telling you.

I got to get this time! The subs will destroy everyone!

Happy Halloween?

Gasp! Mega gift!

Pretty skin!

We love the Fundy mods dearly. They are so chill and nice.

The water well has run dry.

The streamer has escaped. It’s just us, the mods, and the chair.

Oh a Schlatt plush! Neato!

Schlushy I agree with that name.

“Not the hat the other one.” LOL.

Chat go Glatt

Went to get water the. Forgot to drink it.

Subs can modify emotes left and right.

Viper good job! Good book!

Fundy doing his game at middle of the night o’clock.

Streamer... please sleep. Please eat meals.

We’re almost at the Arena!

Sleep 8 hours... just at the wrong time.

Chat fully admitting to thinking our streamer is dumb enough to fall in lava.

We have learned to balance our expectations Fundy.

Oh this is going to be a long stream. A really long stream. I’ll probably need to take a break and do some work.

Arena Time! Beat em up subs!

Good job subs!! You did it!

Let’s see what we get for the arena.

So many Wolf!

Diamond!!!

Putting the winners on their boxes. Nice.

I have so much work to do, but I just want to watch the funky Fox.

Villagers? We love villagers.

PIANO!

Oh we’re switching screens it’s serious piano.

So lovely. I love listening to music people do their things.

I love the fact the subs keep shouting FundyJam!

I swear improv music should not sound this lovely

Spooky sounding tune. Sounds like a boss fight in a haunted castle.

Awesome piano!

Poor boy so annoyed by his hair. Bless his heart.

For anyone who doesn’t touch Twitter. The Fundy Updates Twitter is fabulous and amazing. They are just always so upbeat over everything.

Trying to nether portal. You go fox friend.

Wow Just portal to the center do a lava lake. Under soul sand.

You go 5up! You get that bastion.

Rip 5up.

Poor Fundy doing his best.

How’s the VC crew doing?

MENDING GOLD PANTS!!!

The drip is back!

Also I voted no in the will he burn pole. I have faith in my streamers.

We’re calling Fundy emo now. And he’s trying to deny having an emo phase, and failing.

I don’t know what’s happening half the time in this chat.

Fire Fox!

We’re still calling Fundy emo. Chat spoils the streamer and chat bullies the streamer.

Oh are we trending emo Fundy? Nice. I’m conveniently scrolling on Twitter.

Look at us bully our streamer.

The two people in chat. Those saying emo Fundy. Those going “his hair is nice stfu”. The duality of chat.

Sounds of suffering coming from the nether.

Fundy has taken responsibility for enderpearls.

We cursed Fundy? I look away for 10 seconds.

Pixel has turned on Fundy.

Fight that ghast.

Fundy’s going to get all the endermen.

Piglin goes smack.

We’re wearing the drip. Nice.

Everyone gets rich so fast here.

Well. We’ll just leave the corpse there.

Sizzle.

The people who bet on him dying are so rich in channel points now.

*sad fox noises*

Surely not. Fundy we have lost all hope in you.

Pixel doing everything they can to do anti emo Fundy.

Aww. I missed the prediction. I bet he won’t die. I believe in him.

Fundy being scared by his own body. Cant wait to see that clip everywhere on YouTube.

Back to attacking the endermen.

Tubbo is such a villain. He’s so willing to kill HBomb.

Fundy just getting back to work.

I’m sorry corpses become skeletons. That’s horrid.

Off to get the dragon. The dragon the dragon.

Tubbo was smote.

HBomb and Fundy fully ready to be that person that steals the temple.

Hbomb shaped chest. That is great.

Everyone bullying HBomb.

Almost Arena time.

Betting yes on the arena. The subs are strong and they’ve got this.

My twitch app is being stupid. This might be my signal to take a break and do my school work.

8k boosters and the chat goes nuts.

Chat from where I am is just a bunch of booster packs. I think I need to close and reopen the app.

There we go. There is the lovely chat.

Arena time!

Aww. My bet disappeared when I moved the app.

No! He’s cheating! The subs are doing their best!

Good job subs!

I mean it’s a diamond sword. It’s not diamonds but it’ll do.

I heard a du du du du?

I’ve got to go. Time to be productive with my life and time.

Let me know if I miss anything especially stupid or funny.

Alright it’s been 2 and a half hours but I’m back.

Looks like I missed a lot, and the boy has been going 5 hours.

Still on Vault Hunters? How is he not tired of this yet good gracious.

We’re enchantin’

I don’t know what’s happening but I’m watching.

Who stole all the luck from the boy?

Good that he’s drinking plenty of water

Good that he’s taking a break for foods.

What is with the lightening sounds? I don’t like it.

Spare the soup pet.

Sadness. No 3rd cow.

Yes! One more arena!

Lure da cows.

No that’s the Fundy Cow!

Nooooo. That’s worse than killing it!

Did we win our other arenas? I only say the first 5 or so.

Lightening Cow. Lovely.

Noooo the cowwww!

For once Fundy isn’t the one thriving.

He tunneled the cow out. Wow.

Bye 5up! Good luck!

Hi Crumb. The cow was snatched.

Noooo. Quit stealing our cows!

What he jumps like Superman and steals our cows.

Cow bunker.

These cows will get snatched. I just know it.

No. No taking da cows.

Our cows must be protected.

Enchanting is not on our fox’s side

Oh so they did beat the enderdragon. Good for them.

All sorts of neato elytra.

I must go again. I am called to dinner.

Good job getting you diamond sir.

30 minutes later I am back and we are chatting with HBomb.

Sharp boomerang.

Saw a bit of cat maid peaking out there.

5up judging Fundy for just sitting and mining.

Oh the facecam is off. I’m just noticing.

I guess it probably goofed up and froze.

Everyone in chat talking about how much to make the magic packs. I like the people saying 6.9k just for the funnies.

I’m voting 6.9k in the pole just for the funny.

I know it won’t win but I’m doing my part.

Goblins? What the squeak did I miss?

What. We stab the goblins. And they give us emeralds?

This mans has been going for 6 hours and a while. I hope he doesn’t forget to look after himself. He was talking about eating an hour ago.

I love all the product minions. All the donators just chilling on their chests.

Why are all the minions black and white? I missed that one?

Oh they run out. They ran out of stuff and out of color.

Wealth in the chest, since we don’t have a mouth.

Angel or Fairy? Is that even a question? (Chat chose fairy)

Fairy Fox. I want to draw that but have negative amounts of art skills.

We’re killing time until we hit 7 hours.

We’re meeting up with 5up! Nice!

Oh HBomb left and thought Fundy hadn’t done anything in 20 minutes but jump around his castle. LOL.

We hit 7 hours and dipped.

7 hours and almost a thousand subs. Look at us go.

Hello Puffy Raiders! You’re a bit late but hello!

Oh no. He’s panicking and not ending.

Please someone who feels like being annoying remind the mans to eat.

Raffle? Oh donators! They go through a raffle thingy! Nice!

Hooray OSMP but also Fundy please sleep and such.

Not even raffling. Just opening and closing.

Nice spin noises.

WOLF! Wolf earned to win the raffle.

Wait wait wait? Fundy go get some food and go to bed!

Hey look there is our streamer!

This is the max post size lol. 5up raid let’s go! Hello 5up! We are here! But now I’m going to bed. Oh nevermind. I hear the fox. Ah that’s smart 5up. Anyway. I’m gone now.

[queenoftheworldisdead]

Unbetrothed

Summary: Let me just say I am an American with no idea of how royal hierarchies work. Just made something up.

Governors are basically kings of the states they run with their own armies and mayors are dukes. Women are not allowed to work, only marry.

Dark MCU royal AU [but not really grey at best]

Sam Wilson x reader, dark Thor x reader [not really i don’t think. more like grey Thor]

Warning: attempted suicide, sex

----

"She's old Margret" your father huffed.

"Dear no I think you're being harsh" your mother defended.

You sat in the kitchen peeling potatoes for tonight’s dinner as you listened to him complain.

"I most certainly am not! She is old. Way past her prime. Am I supposed to work myself to death to  support her?" He grumbled.

"Her brothers have long sense left this house. Started families of their own. Making their own way about the world."

"Dear they are men. Made to labor. What would you have her do? You refused her education. She has little options"

Women were with few exception not allowed to work. If you were not aiming to be a nurse, maid, or teacher. Most girls stopped their education after they learned to read or their parents stopped paying for tuition.

"Well, I would have assumed she would have been long sense married by now. What would be the point in wasting the money on education?"

He would often complain after doing his monthly expenses. Paying for the loan on the house, paying to feed himself and his wife, but the extra cost of the spare mouth of a daughter drove him up the wall. He actually calculated how much extra money he would have if you were not there draining his savings. As if it would by him a cottage on a beach in the state.

A popper he was not but a frugal bastard he was indeed. Only spending extra if he could come out ahead in the end.

It was like this most days, the only time it wasn't were when your father stayed out to drink. Pouring his sorrows into a pint and from your mothers presumption whores.

"Joseph, from work, told me that the Governor's having a ball. Says that his son told him that they send all the army boys there, most bachelors the lot of them. You know those army folks are quick to wed." He told your mother. He had planned this out thoroughly it would seem. "Lets put some lipstick on this pig and send her off"

"She is not a cow you sell at market!" Your mother was outraged out the notion.

"Well Moo Moo Margret. She is going. If she doesn't find a suitor then she is out on the streets. Have the state worry for her."

"Dear you cant mean that. She is our blood." Your mother would do nothing more than speak of her disapproval.

"It's my mother's fault." He said as he walked to his favorite sitting chair. "She was a bit misshapen. Got her damn jeans from me. Swear if she didn't look like her I would deny her my name" your mother gasped loudly at the insult.

"She tried to marry the Wilson boy and you denied her! Now look at him, second in command of the states army."

"Well, I thought when she...uh" he paused to find the right word to say. "Bloomed she would bring better prospects."

When you were 14 you fell in love with Sam Wilson and he with you. Children of the same age, same culture and you two had become fast friends. He had always made you laugh and it was not uncommon to be betrothed at such a young age.

One day while playing by the creek he had pushed you against the old oak tree and kissed you. So innocent and sweet, but it only lasted a fraction of a second. You had stared at him with your eyes wide with shock and surprise.

"Y/N I love you. Marry me?" He had no ring just a wild daffodil half ruined from being hid within his pants pocket. You had hugged him so tight he teased that you almost broke his bones. You had loved him for ages and to have your best friend love you back was truly a delight any girl could ask for.

The day felt like a dream as you two lay in the field and talked of your future. How many children, where the house should be, what the wedding would be like. You hadn't even noticed that the sun was setting as the euphoria of your love took over.

Kissing him on the cheek with a promise to meet again tomorrow you rushed home. With a smile that would not falter.

"Mom! Mom!" You burst through the door.

"What is it girl? You're so loud. What is it?"

"Sam! He asked me to be his wife!" Barely able to catch your breath as you retell the events.

Your mother's sweet smile showed of her approval in the union. The excitement of telling your father made the hands on the clock drag. When you saw the cart finally drop him off you exploded through the door and rushed to tell him your joyous news.

But your joy was short lived. Sam's family was not the status that he wanted for you. He gambled that when you were to hit puberty you would attract hire quality suitors. To hedged his bets he pulled you from school and refused you out to see Sam.

The decision crushing you completely, your home had become your prison for over a decade. Only allowing out into the world to join your mother for her weekly shopping.

He broke you back then and thought nothing of it. Unmoved by your constant tears and sorrow. Eventually you cared not for the fancy things in life. Your hair unkept, your clothes unpressed and makeup was as foreign to you as the neighboring states. Your mother would often scold you for not putting out your best as to catch the eyes of a suitor. But what was the point?

You lived only in the fading memories of Sam. Replaying ways to have made things different. Your mother took pity allowing you stationary upon which to write. Sending him love letters, but sadly with no replies.

"Well I buying her a ticket to the governors ball. We have enough for a decent enough dress so get her ready." Plopping down he opened his smoking box to take out his pipe. Lighting it up with long puff signaling to your mother that the final word had been spoken.

Your mother with your fathers pocket book went all out. When he saw the receipts he almost had a stroke. He swore never again to make that mistake with your mother again.

Your hair, makeup and dress were all done for the affair. When she showed you the results in the mirror before you left with your father you swore someone had bewitched the mirror.

When you two arrived at the Governors estate your father pushed you to mingle. But you had not the heart for music and fun. Walking aimlessly about the crowded event until you spotted him.

It couldn't be could it?

Walking up to the man you presumed to be your long lost love you call out.

"Sam?"

It was him, adorn in his formal military uniform.

"Y/N?"

Your heart felt like it beat for the first time in ages. Swelling with joy tears almost fell from your eyes at the sight of your long lost love.

You hugged him instantly, but it took a moment before his arms reciprocated the gesture.

"I always wondered what happened to you. I even went to your house but I was always turned away"

"It was all my fathers doing. Did you receive my letters? My mother made sure to mail them daily, but I never got word back."

Even through your despair you had never stopped writing. Everyday even when your mind tried to insert logic you still wrote. You could barely spell and your mother was of no use in that matter, but that did not stop you.

"What letters?" He was at a loss and that is when your heart began to hurt a little at the betrayal of you're only ally.

Every shopping day your mother would buy you the most gorgeous letter paper to write to him with, only to never send them. But why?

"I wrote to you every day Sam I swear it" you were in denial. She wouldn't have done that. No never her. Not your mother.

"Honey who is this?" A beautiful woman appeared from his side.

"This is an old friend. Wanda this is Y/N"

She was so striking and much younger than you. "Oh hello he talks much about his youth here in this state, but I'm sorry I don't recall you." You could see her trying to recall a memory and even with the scrunch of her brow she was a sight.

What would you say to her? That you were his first love, first kiss, that he had proposed to you. That you still had the daffodil he gave. Now pressed in the holy book on the page that would have held your vows.

"I.." You looked at him. His smile was for her now. You were nothing, but a ghost playing among the living. "I went to school with him when I was much younger, but never completed." She smiled at you so pure and overflowing with love for him that it made you sick, but you forced yourself to mirror her.

"Well it was nice meeting you, Y/N.." She said through the loud music."but if you will excuse me I would love to dance with my fiancé." Pulling him away. As they departed what was left of your heart felt as if it had rolled in glass.

Every breath brought a pain and as your vision began to blur you saw your father approached with that look. That look that you had not the energy to deal with. So you took off. Walking swiftly through the crowded ballroom zigging and zagging not knowing where to go. You were boiling over, but you didn't want the world to see. For Sam to see.

As you scanned the massive room filled with people you spot a staircase that wrapped along the wall. You don't know why you went to it, but you did. Ascending the stairs as quickly as you could in your full dress. Tripping only twice on the petty coat underneath, but still able to stand up right. There were fewer people on this level, each in their own conversation of this or that. Taking a deep breath you decide to turn left. Passing awkwardly by the smaller groups of people before stopping at the door at the end of the hall.

The massive wooden door was unlocked when you tried the handle. Pushing it open you could see no lights. Entering the darkness of the room, the blackness poured over you then the tears fall before you could close it behind you. With your back pressed to it you slid down the door and on to the floor. The sound of the booming music from the band hiding you're sobbing from the world.

As you cried you felt the cold breeze of the night prickle your skin. Looking you see the sheer curtain dance in the wind the color of the moon light giving it a soft ghostly hue. Standing up you walked to it. Opening the curtain you found the window to actually be a small balcony.

Walking out to the banister at the end you stare up at the moon and the sight of it filled you with loneliness. A small part of you had held out hope that Sam still loved you, would come for you and you two would live out those childhood wishes from long ago. But he wasn't and your father would surely be tossing you out by the morrow.

You didn't know how, but somehow you had climbed over the railing. Staring at the earth below.

What was the point? You couldn't work, too old to marry. Born to be nothing.

"You shouldn't be here." A voice came out from behind the ghostly veil.

Turning your head you look back to see, but when you spotted him you only stared through him.

Holding on to the steel frame of the balcony you lean forward. Hoping that when you fall and kiss the ground that the pain would be swift. So you let go.

"No you don't"

He was fast. Catching your wrist before you descended. Looking up at him you could see him clearly now. The strain on his face had his veins busting through his flesh as he pulls you back up and over the banister.

He had pulled you so hard that he lost balance and landed on the  floor with you on top of him.

Pushing yourself off his chest you straddled him. Your dress almost swallowing him whole. When he sat up he rubbed the back of his head and hissed. As he straightened himself, his height could not be ignored.

"Are you mad wo.." His words were cut off by the crashing of your lips to his. You just pressed them hard into his, your eyes shut tight as your fingers clasped the fabric of his formal uniform.

His hands came on to your shoulders and pushed you back. "They had told me these events were to be a prudish affair. Had I known women of this state were made of fire we would have united our states long ago." His strange accent had you gawking at him.

Your eyes fell to his uniform, the colors were all wrong. It was not of your state's formal wear, but anothers.

He kissed you this time, his tongue tickled your bottom lip the sudden wetness of it made you gasp and he took that opportunity to invade. Yours sat frozen in your mouth bewildered by the intrusion.

When his hands fell on your hip you yelped in his mouth. "Move for me" he said as his hands guided you back and forth on his lap. The friction of his pants on your bloomers was delightful. Moaning in his mouth your eyes shot open wide. Embarrassed by the foreign noise, but the man only chuckled on your lips.

Your hands released his clothes and wrapped around his neck. When he bit your bottom lip you bit his, when his tongue flicked yours you flicked his in turn. You let him guide you to every move. His hands fell from your hip, but you still kept the pace as the warm fuzziness of the feeling building in your core wanted more.

Placing his arms on your back he pushed you backwards on to the  cold balcony floor while never breaking his kiss. Your heart beat hard in your chest as you felt him press you into the unforgiving floor with your dress the only bit of comfort to it.

He pulled away again making you whimper. His smile looked so devilish as he stared down at you. "Your pure aren't you girl."

Your ears felt hot as his eyes looked upon you. "Yes" it came out almost as a whisper.

He bit his lip almost fighting off a bigger grin. Moving his hands from your back one hand glided atop your dress. Grazing both breasts before hooking his in it. Pulling the fabric down allowing your breast to bounce free in the night air. His warm palm overtaking the circumference of one breast filling your body with more fire.

Bending down you closed your eyes to receive a kiss, but it never came. His wet mouth latched onto your exposed bosom, making you pant. The flicking of his tongue drove you mad with wanting. His soft lips kissed each breast before sucking your nipple into his mouth. "Your flesh is sweeter than any honey I've ever tasted." His rugged voice sent you soaring to the heavens.

Bunching up your dress his hand moved slowly up your thigh. Stopping at your bloomers. "What do you want little dove?" He looked down at you again. Waiting for your answer.

Was this what Sam does to Wanda?

For whatever reason your mind could not picture him this way. So your mind drifted, thinking of the women of the night. The women that lived for the night as you are now. Your mother had spoke often about loose women. Whores she would call them. Good for nothings seen as no more than the corrupters of men souls. That’s why she never blamed your father for his misdeeds. You wanted to be a corrupter of men, to hold a power over them. Seeing as giving them power had brought you no joy in this world.

"I want to be a whore" at your words his smile dropped and a hunger unfamiliar to you grew upon his face.

Hurriedly pulling your bloomers down you could hear a growl from him. As if by the moon he would change into a wolf right before your eyes. His focus strayed from you but for only a brief moment as he fiddled with his own attire.

He lay between your spread legs poking at your muff with a rod harder than the floor that ached your back. "Then my whore you shall be" without another word he forced himself into you.

The pain and discomfort had you screaming into the night. Pushing him off, but he held steadfast deep in you up to his hilt. Tears prickled your eyes as the pain felt unbearable. Lifting your legs onto his shoulder allowed him deeper still and you felt too full.

"Please sir it hurts" you hissed. Your eyes pleading up at him.

"Not for long my dove" His hips slammed against you with such forced that you tried to crawl backwards away. But with his hands on your shoulder he locked you in place. Each time his hips slapped yours it sent jolts throughout your body.

Your mewls mixing with his groans while the music played from the ball down stairs. "It hurts!" Your voice quakes as he continued his punishing thrust. Your breasts jerking harshly from his movements while your legs try and force him off, but he went on undeterred.

"My..dove.. sing for me" and you did with every thrust.

Your back arched off the unforgiving ground as you felt your cunt stretched beyond its limits to receive him. Your nails dragged along his coat sleeves, snagging on badges here and there.

The pain of him faded into a wave of ecstasy. "More please" you panted.

"Does..my..dove..love.. my..cock" he teased as he watched your face transform from pain to pleasure. Hitting your core harder with each word, moaning deeply as he filled you.

"Mmm so-so good." You moaned. The pressure from him electrified your whole body. You could feel every inch of him and you wanted more.

"A whore..only for...me" he groaned. His chest pressed into your legs as his movements grew wilder. Your body felt a buzz, your flower so alive, clenching feverishly around him. His member started twitching, flexing inside of you and filling you with more warmth and wetness.

"Such a good little dove" he praised.

When he stopped he gave your lips one last kiss before falling over to your side. Your legs flopped to the floor landing with a thud shaking like a leaf in the wind. Turning your head to him, you examined the glistening features of his face.

"Who are you?" You panted out half exhausted.

As he began to speak the door creaked open in the distance.

"Y/N!" Your fathers voice shouted out. You sat up with a cold splash of reality hitting you.

When your father came into the room he had only seen the aftermath. A compromising position that sent him into a tizzy. Racing over to you he grabbed your for arm pulling you from your savior.

Pulling up your top and cleaning off your dress you prayed he had not noticed your very bare chest in the confusion.

"What are you doing who is that?" He roared furiously. "Speak"

*Smack

His slap faded into the nights air. He must be getting older, much more older than you thought him to be. His strikes barely fazed you now, but you held your face as if it still held the same power as they used to have.

"What were you thinking you stupid girl? Your chastity is you're only saving grace." He was furious. "I can't believe my own daughter a whore."

"Ah heeeehhhmmmm" the stranger cleared his throat behind you. His height towering over you and your father.

"Excuse me sir, but in my state we do not take Kindly to the striking of innocent women."

"And who are you to speak to me in such a ways army boy?"

"I'm lieutenant Governor Thor Odinson of the Asgardian state. New allies of your Governor's state."

Your father's eyes widened in shock as did yours.

"We were just admiring the constellations as we are ought to do in my state. Isn't that right milady?"

Your father looked to you to answer while Thor shot you a knowing wink.

"Well if you would excuse her intrusion sir, but she is supposed to be finding a suitor not laying about star gazing" he spoke nervously.

Pulling you out of the room by your arm as Thor faded into the darkness.

"What happened to your face girl you look a sight?" He said annoyed. "Go to the mirror and fix yourself" he pointed to a mirror along the wall right before the entrance to the room. "Had someone else spotted you, you would have been thought a harlot for sure" he huffed.

Hurrying away you rush to the mirror all the while you felt Thor's seed snake down your leg.

[wri0thesley]

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3