#i could try stopping by tomorrow before they close and he’s like lol yeah you can fuckin try man no guarantees

[puppym3]

Heyaa! Is it possible to request an enemies to lovers one bed trope smut with bangchan? Like maybe reader and skz go on a trip but there’s not enough rooms so they decide to pair u guys up so that y’all can make up or whatever. Little did u know that Chris has a massive crush on u and was only being insufferable because he thought he didn’t have a chance but little did he know you thought he was cute too. Maybe he pops a boner while sharing the bed and becomes embarrassed but you decide to take matters into ur own hands and dom him for treating u liek shit lol 💀

↠ friction ↺ and ⊜ fire

*+:｡.｡ bangchan x fem!reader

wc: 4.8k

warnings: MDNI! 18+, smut, enemies to lovers, one bed trope, dom!reader, servicetop!bangchan, subby!bangchan, brat!reader, one-sided pining (kind've?), they're both idiots, piv, unprotected sex (sighh), they traumatize the other members, oral (m. rec), creampie, (lmk if i missed any)

a/n: thank you so much for the suggestion anon hehe.. it was so good and i hope i served what needed to be served!! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

*+:｡.｡

Stepping out of the van after a long, winding drive, you stretched your arms above your head, relishing the cool mountain air. The cabin loomed ahead, a cozy refuge nestled in the heart of the forest, promising a weekend of relaxation and fun. You were close friends with the boys and these trips were a regular occurrence. However, there was one member you couldn't stand.

Bang Chan.

Ever since you first met, the two of you had bickered incessantly over the most trivial things. Whether it was your taste in men or the way you folded your clothes, Bang Chan always found something to nag you about. You rolled your eyes just thinking about it. How could someone be so insufferable?

It reminds you of the time you had just broken up with your ex-boyfriend after you found out he had been cheating on you the entire time, you had unknowingly been the side piece throughout your relationship. Bang Chan warned you about him the entire time, saying he wasn't good for you. And now that things had crumbled, he was in your ear about how right he was. It frustrated you.

"Hurry up! We need to check out the rooms!" Felix excitedly called out, breaking your reverie.

You grabbed your bag and followed the boys into the cabin. As they scattered to explore, you took in the rustic charm of the place. It was perfect, except for one glaring issue: you only spotted eight bedrooms.

"Hey," Minho announced, holding up a hand-drawn map of the cabin. "There are only eight beds."

"Great," you muttered under your breath.

The boys gathered around, frowning at the realization.

"Well, who wants to share?" Seungmin said, glancing around.

"I don't mind sharing," Jisung shrugged.

Everyone seemed to share a knowing glance across the room.

"How about Y/N and Chan share a room?" Minho suggested with a mischievous glint in his eye.

You and Chan simultaneously snapped your heads toward Minho, protests ready on your lips, but the rest of the boys quickly agreed.

"Yeah, maybe you two will finally stop bickering," Jisung added, smirking.

"Fine," Chan sighed, his eyes meeting yours with a challenge.

"Fine," you echoed, refusing to back down.

"Awesome," Jeongin laughed nervously, trying to defuse the tension in the room. "We can check out the rest of the cabin tomorrow, so why don't we call it a night?"

"Yeah, I'm exhausted," Changbin agreed, calling out from his room, already laid out on his bed like a starfish.

You followed Chan to your room and set down your bags. The bedroom was spacious, but the lack of a second bed left a bitter taste in your mouth.

"Guess you're sleeping on the floor," you smirked, taking note of the single queen-sized mattress.

Chan raised an eyebrow and looked you up and down.

"Like hell, I am. You can sleep on the floor," he argued, his eyes glinting with amusement.

You let out a scoff, but before you could open your mouth, Felix appeared in the doorway.

"You're both responsible adults, you can share a bed."

You shot Felix a glare.

"Goodnight!" He quickly ducked out of the room, leaving you and Chan alone.

Chan crossed his arms, a smug expression on his face.

"Don't get any ideas, pervert," you sneered, brushing past him to get ready for bed.

"Wouldn't dream of it, darling."

The rest of the evening passed in tense silence. The two of you were cordial when brushing your teeth and washing your faces, but once you were settled under the covers, you turned away from each other, as far as you could go without falling off the bed.

Lying there, staring at the wall, you couldn't help but feel the tension in the room. It was more than just annoyance; it was a palpable electricity that seemed to spark every time you argued. You hated to admit it, but there was something about Chan that intrigued you, something that made your heart race in the most frustrating way.

And you were overly aware of how attractive he was, secretly ogling him when he would perform on stage. It annoyed you, a lot.

You shifted in the bed, trying to get comfortable. You could feel the heat radiating off of his body and it was driving you crazy. The more you tried to ignore him, the more aware you became of his presence.

Finally, you couldn't take it anymore. You rolled over, determined to confront him, but the words died in your throat. His eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted, and his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

He looked so peaceful, so vulnerable, that you couldn't bring yourself to wake him. Instead, you watched him, admiring the way the moonlight illuminated his features.

You traced the line of his jaw with your eyes, trailing down to his full lips. Your heart skipped a beat as you imagined what it would be like to kiss him.

You quickly shook your head, berating yourself for even thinking such a thing. Chan was the last person you would ever want to kiss.

But the more you denied it, the more you thought about it. What if his lips were soft? What if he kissed you gently, his hands caressing your body?

The thought made your cheeks flush.

"Can you stop eye-fucking me? I'm trying to sleep."

Chan's voice snapped you out of it, and you quickly averted your gaze, your cheeks burning.

"I wasn't- I just, wanted to say something," you stammered, the defensiveness in your voice showing.

The fact that he was so cocky and attractive drove you crazy, you wanted to put him in his place then and there, you wanted to pick another fight with him, the fights you had him ignited a certain fire in you that you couldn't explain.

"What is it?"

You hesitated, the words caught in your throat. What was wrong with you? You couldn't even form a coherent sentence around him.

"Just..." you scoffed, giving up when the words in your head scrambled.

"Goodnight."

With that, Chan rolled over, putting his back to you.

You huffed, annoyed at the way he dismissed you. You knew he was trying to get under your skin, and it was working. You glared at the back of his head, wishing you could slap the smug look off his face.

But even as you silently fumed, you laid in bed next to him. Unable to relax, you tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. But the bed seemed to grow smaller with each passing moment, and the space between you felt like an infinite chasm.

You could feel the heat radiating off his body, his mere presence setting your nerves alight. You were overly aware of his breathing, his steady inhale and exhale. And the longer you lay there, the more restless you became.

"Will you stop moving?"

His voice was barely above a whisper, but the sound made you jump.

"I can't sleep," you replied, keeping your eyes trained on the ceiling.

"Try harder."

You scoffed again, turning your head to look at him, and before you could come up with something to spit back at him, your gaze lowered, and your eyes landed on the very prominent tent on the bed.

Your eyes widened, and you quickly averted your gaze, but the image was burned into your mind.

Your cheeks flushed, and your heart began to race. Chan was hard. The realization sent a jolt of excitement through your body.

Now this was an argument you could easily win, you could definitely embarrass him with this.

So why couldn't you say anything? Why was the heat in between your thighs growing undeniably unbearable?

You couldn't stop yourself from stealing another glance. Your eyes trailed down the length of his body, coming to rest on the bulge straining against his pants.

Chris turned over to face away from you. You couldn't help but smile. You knew he was embarrassed, and the thought of him being uncomfortable made you feel satisfied.

Without hesitation, you moved closer, pressing your body against his. Your chest was pressed against his back.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice wavering.

"What do you mean?" you asked, your voice in an innocent tone as if you had no idea what he was talking about.

"Don't act stupid."

You couldn't help but smirk. You could hear the embarrassment in his voice, and it only made you more confident.

"You know exactly what I'm doing," you said, your voice dropping to a whisper.

"This isn't funny."

You couldn't believe how much this was affecting him.

"You're telling me," you purred, sliding your hand down his torso.

Your fingertips brushed over the hard outline of his cock, and you felt his breath catch.

You couldn't resist, he was a brat, and now it was time for payback. You wrapped your fingers around him, feeling the heat of his skin through the fabric of his pants.

He sucked in a sharp breath, and his hips jerked involuntarily. You bit your lip, trying to contain your own excitement.

"You're a fucking tease."

"Says the one with a boner," you retorted.

"I'm serious," he breathed.

"So am I," you said, tightening your grip.

The sound that escaped his lips made you shudder.

You knew that if you didn't stop now, there would be no turning back.

But you didn't care. You wanted this.

You grabbed his shoulder, pulling so he was lying on his back. His eyes were wide, his breath ragged.

Without a word, you straddled his lap, the thin fabric of your pajama shorts doing little to hide the heat between your thighs.

"You're a brat, you know that?" he groaned.

You smiled, your confidence growing by the second.

"Maybe, but I think you like it."

You rolled your hips, and his cock twitched beneath you.

"Fuck," he cursed. You couldn't help but smirk. He was clearly losing his composure.

"Don't get too cocky," he said, grabbing your hips and grinding up into you.

Your breath hitched, and you bit your lip to stifle a moan. You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how turned on you were.

"That's funny, coming from you," you managed to say, rocking your hips against him.

He was rock hard beneath you, and the friction was sending waves of pleasure through your body.

The outline of his cock through his pants was aligned perfectly with your cunt, gently brushing against your clit through each movement.

It was agonizing.

You leaned forward, your lips grazing his ear.

"Is this what you want? Then beg me."

You could feel his resolve breaking, and the satisfaction was almost overwhelming.

"Please," he choked out, the shyness poking through his cocky demeanor felt rewarding.

"I'm not sure I heard you."

You rocked your hips again, the friction making your head spin.

"Fuck, please" he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper.

You could tell he was embarrassed, but you didn't care. This was too good to stop now.

"You're a pervert," you whispered, tugging at the waistband of his pants. "Getting hard from sharing a bed with a girl?"

He couldn't meet your eyes, his face flushed red.

"It... it's not like that..." he murmured, but the tent in his pants told a different story.

You slipped your hand inside his boxers, wrapping your fingers around his length.

He gasped, his eyes widening.

"You-" he breathed.

"Tell me what it's like then," you teased, stroking him slowly.

His jaw was clenched, and he looked like he was struggling to form words.

"I'm waiting."

"It's because- fuck, it's because of you."

His response caught you off guard, and your heart skipped a beat.

"What?"

You couldn't hide the surprise in your voice, and the way it caused you to clench around nothing.

"It's you," he breathed, his gaze finally meeting yours.

You could see the desire in his eyes, and it took your breath away.

"But don't we hate each other?" you protested, unable to hide the hint of confusion in your voice, feeling like maybe you lost the plot somewhere along the way.

"I don't hate you," he admitted. "I just- I thought I did. But it was only because I couldn't handle the fact that I liked you so much."

You couldn't believe your ears. Chris liked you? It made your heart flutter, a million fantasies running through your head in a second. Why did this excite me so much? Why did I like hearing those words coming out of his mouth?

"You like me?" you echoed, unable to hide the disbelief in your voice.

"God, you're dense," he groaned, his frustration evident.

Before you could respond, he sat up and pulled you in, his lips were on yours, and his hands were gripping your hips.

You melted into the kiss, the taste of his lips and the warmth of his skin setting your nerves on fire.

He deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing against yours, and you moaned, the sound muffled by his mouth.

His kiss was fervent, lips melding with yours in a way that made your mind go blank. Your hands found their way into his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as he pulled you closer, pressing you against him.

You could feel the heat radiating from his body, his heart pounding in time with yours. The kiss deepened, tongues dancing in a rhythm that felt both urgent and unrelenting. The taste of him was intoxicating, a mix of mint toothpaste and something uniquely Chris.

His hands roamed over your body, caressing your back before settling on your hips, guiding your movements as you rocked against him. Each touch sent sparks shooting through your veins, and the friction between your bodies was driving you wild.

You couldn't think, couldn't breathe. All you could focus on was the feel of his lips, the warmth of his skin, the sound of his breath, heavy and labored.

When you pulled back, you pushed him back to lay on the bed.

"You really are a brat, huh?" he panted, his eyes dark with desire.

"You have no idea," you smirked, tugging his boxers down his hips.

His cock sprung free, and the sight of him made your mouth water. He was big, bigger than you expected, and the thought of him inside you made your stomach twist in anticipation.

You wrapped your hand around him, stroking him slowly.

He let out little breaths, his head falling back. You could tell he was struggling to hold himself together, and the sight made your stomach flutter with butterflies.

This feeling wasn't unfamiliar, you felt this way sometimes when you watched him on stage, his expressions, his confidence, everything about him. It was why you pretended to hate him. You were attracted to him, and the thought terrified you.

But right now, in this moment, there was no room for fear. All you could focus on was the feel of him in your hand, the taste of him on your lips, the heat of his skin.

You moved down the bed, kneeling between his legs. You couldn't take your eyes off him.

"Fucking hell," he cursed, his hand tangling in your hair.

"I'll be gentle," you teased, wrapping your lips around his tip.

The sounds that came from him was unlike anything you had ever heard, and it only fueled your desire.

You swirled your tongue around his length, savoring the taste of him. He was intoxicating, and you couldn't get enough.

You took him deeper, hollowing your cheeks and sucking gently. Your hands searched his body as you tasted him, feeling every inch of his chest and every detail on his body.

He was shaking, and you could tell he was holding back. And you had no intention of stopping, not until you had your fill of him.

"F-fuck," he breathed, his hand tightening in your hair. The feeling of him tugging on my hair sent shivers down my spine.

You hummed in response, the vibrations making him gasp.

You worked him slowly, teasing him with your tongue and lips. He tasted amazing, and the sound of his breathless moans was music to your ears.

You could feel the tension building in his body, his thighs twitching as he fought the urge to thrust into your mouth.

The power was intoxicating, but it wasn't enough, you wanted more.

You released him with a pop, his length coated in your saliva.

"Don't move, I'm going to ride you."

"What?"

You could see the shock on his face, and it only made you smile.

"I'm going to ride you," you repeated, climbing back onto his lap.

"But- wait- are you sure?"

His expression was comical, and you couldn't help but laugh.

"Chris, do I need to spell it out for you?"

He shook his head, his eyes wide.

"Good, because I don't have the patience for it."

With that, you pushed your panties to the side, letting your legs spread wide so he could get a perfect view as you prepared yourself for him.

His breath caught in his throat, and you could feel his eyes on you, watching you as you slipped a finger inside yourself.

You couldn't believe how wet you were, your arousal coating your fingers as you stretched yourself open. You could feel him twitch beneath you, his length throbbing with need.

You added another finger, moaning as you worked yourself open. He was still watching, his gaze locked on the movement of your fingers as you fucked yourself on them.

"Fuck," he cursed, his hands gripping your hips as he tried to keep himself from thrusting up into you.

"Impatient, are we?"

He shot you a look, and you could see the desperation in his eyes.

"Fuck you," he said, though his words lacked any bite.

"I thought that was the plan," you teased, withdrawing your fingers and wiping them on his thigh.

"God, just- please," he breathed, his resolve crumbling.

"Since you asked so nicely."

You positioned yourself over him, his tip brushing against your entrance. You were already so wet, so ready for him.

"Are you sure, with no protection?"

"If you ask me one more time, I'll leave you here to take care of this yourself," you threatened.

You were on the pill, and you were too needy now to look back, the thought of feeling his raw cock stretching you out also made you super impatient.

You inserted the tip, the feel of him filling you up was overwhelming. He was big, bigger than anyone you've ever been with, and the stretch was almost too much.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice strained.

You nodded, taking a deep breath as you adjusted to his size.

"Fuck," you breathed, sinking down until he was buried to the hilt.

"You're so fucking tight," he groaned, his grip on your hips tightening.

"And you're fucking huge," you replied, the pressure and heat building within you.

He couldn't help but laugh. "Well, I've never had complaints."

"Shut up," you smiled, pulling him in for a kiss.

Your tongues met, dancing together in a messy tangle. He kissed you like he was starving, and you could feel his hunger for you.

You began to move, slowly at first, rocking your hips against him. His breath hitched, and his hands gripped your waist, guiding your movements.

You broke the kiss, gasping for air.

"God, that's it," he groaned, his head falling back. His hands pushing at your inner thighs to spread your legs further.

His eyes intently staring at your body made you shiver, you grabbed at the hem of your shirt before pulling it off, giving him a better view to take in.

He groaned, his gaze roaming over your body. "So fucking beautiful," he murmured, his hand trailing up your thigh.

"I could say the same for you," you replied, tracing the lines of his abs with your fingertips.

He couldn't take his eyes off you, and the attention was overwhelming. You increased the pace, rolling your hips as you rode him. He was buried deep inside you, the sensation of him filling you up was incredible.

"God, yes," he breathed, his fingers digging into your skin.

You moaned, the sound escaping your lips before you could stop it. He was hitting all the right spots, and the pleasure was building, coiling in the pit of your stomach.

"Don't stop," he pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper.

You couldn't bring yourself to form words, the sensation was too much, your head was spinning.

You leaned in, capturing his lips in a kiss, the taste of him only adding to the pleasure.

His tongue darted out, tracing your bottom lip.

"Fuck, Chris," you breathed, breaking the kiss.

He was breathing heavily, his gaze locked on yours. "Use me to come," he urged, his hands on your hips encouraging you.

"Chan," you moaned, his name on your lips like a prayer. You could feel him throbbing inside you, and the sensation was incredible.

"Come for me," he groaned, his fingers digging into your skin.

And then, the pleasure washed over you, the waves crashing into you with such intensity that you saw stars. You felt yourself tremble as you clenched over him, falling on his chest as you cried out, whimpering as you lightly grinded your high out.

He broke when he felt you cum on him, the soft breaths coming out of his mouth, and you could feel him twitch inside you, his cock throbbing as he came, his cum filling you up.

The feeling was unlike anything you've experienced, and you could feel the pleasure coursing through your veins.

When he finally stilled, the two of you were a panting, sweaty mess. You could feel the aftershocks of your orgasm rippling through your body, and the sensation was incredible.

"Fuck," he breathed, his fingers digging into your skin.

"That's exactly what we did," you teased, your breathing slowly returning to normal.

He couldn't help but laugh, burying his face in your shoulder. "You're insufferable," he murmured, his breath tickling your neck.

"Oh, and you're not?"

"I guess we're perfect for each other then."

He raised his head, his eyes meeting yours. The sincerity in his gaze made your heart skip a beat, and you couldn't help but press a light kiss to his lips.

"Maybe," you conceded, the word slipping out before you could stop it.

"I'd like that," he smiled, the dimple in his cheek deepening.

Your heart swelled, and you leaned in for another kiss, a little longer than the last.

"So... I'm guessing this means you like me too?"

His question caught you off guard, and the thought made your heart flutter.

"You could say that," you replied, unable to hide the hint of hesitation in your voice.

He frowned, his eyebrows knitting together. "That's not an answer," he said, his voice tinged with a hint of annoyance.

You bit your lip, the uncertainty rising within you. You couldn't help but worry that this was a mistake, that it was all a joke.

"Hey," he said, his thumb gently brushing against your cheek. "Talk to me."

"It's just... are you sure? I feel like you're fucking with me again, this is just too good to be true," you said, completely honest and a little too vulnerable in front of him.

"Oh my god," he sighed, his frustration evident. "How much proof do you need? If it wasn't obvious, I don't usually let people ride me."

You couldn't help but laugh, the sound escaping your lips before you could stop it.

"Fair enough," you conceded, leaning in to steal a kiss.

He hummed, a satisfied smile playing on his lips.

"I think I'm going to enjoy proving myself," he murmured, his fingers running along the curve of your ass.

"Is that so?"

He nodded, the glint in his eye making your heart skip a beat.

"I promise you'll be begging for it next time."

"That's a bold claim," you challenged, unable to hide the amusement in your voice.

"One that I'll gladly prove," he said, his tone playful.

"We'll see about that," you teased, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"Don't challenge me unless you're prepared for the consequences."

His words sent a shiver down your spine, the idea of him having his way with you was intoxicating.

You giggled, stealing a quick kiss before climbing off his lap.

You couldn't help but laugh looking at him, "God, you're so cute," you teased, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before padding over to the bathroom.

You woke up early, the sunlight streaming through the window and the sound of birds chirping outside.

You groaned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and sitting up.

The events of last night rushed back, and you couldn't help but smile, the memory of his touch, the taste of his lips, and the sting you felt on your legs from the workout.

As you looked around, however, you were met with an empty bed, the sheets beside you cold.

A wave of panic washed over you, the realization that he wasn't here was jarring. You couldn't help but think that it had all been a dream, the thought of us doing anything already seemed unreal to you.

You were pulled from your thoughts by the sound of the door opening, and the sight of him made your heart skip a beat.

"Morning," he greeted, a wide smile on his face.

You felt way too giddy seeing his face, seeing him just made you want to plant kisses all over his face.

"Morning," you replied, the warmth spreading across your cheeks.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked, walking over to sit on the edge of the bed.

You couldn't help but stare at him, the sight of him in a plain t-shirt and shorts, his hair tousled and his skin glistening from his morning shower.

"Well, you didn't snore." you teased.

He rolled his eyes, the gesture making you giggle.

"I'm glad my princess could sleep without any disturbances, then."

The words made your heart skip a beat, and you were left speechless. You couldn't believe how quickly he had gotten under your skin.

You couldn't deny the effect he had on you, the way your heart raced when he was close, the way your body craved his touch.

You bit your lip, trying to push down the feelings that threatened to overwhelm you.

"You okay?" he asked, his eyebrows knitted together in concern.

"Yeah, just... I was worried, that's all," you confessed, unable to meet his gaze.

He frowned, clearly not understanding. "Worried? Why?"

"I thought... I thought it was all a dream, that I was just imagining it."

He couldn't help but laugh, the sound filling the room.

"You're too adorable," he smiled, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

"I really do like you," you countered, the words escaping your lips before you could stop them.

His expression softened, the laughter dying on his lips.

"I really do like you, too"

You couldn't help but melt, the words echoing in your head.

You leaned in, closing the distance between the two of you.

Suddenly you heard loud pounding knocks at your door.

The door opened and Minho with a tired face walked in, Seungmin shyly trailing behind him.

"I'm glad you guys... 'made up', but for fucks sake," Minho complained.

"Couldn't you have saved that?" Seungmin joined in, equally mortified.

You couldn't help but blush, the thought of your friends hearing the two of you was embarrassing.

Chris, trying to keep a straight face, couldn't help but giggle a little.

"Okay, okay, we're sorry," you apologized, holding your hands up in surrender.

"Sorry," Jisung says, barging into the conversation, "I'm just so happy for you, I've had to endure this guy whining about you for the past 2 months."

"Shut up," Chan blushed, his cheeks tinted red.

"Oh my god, is that why you were such an ass? You were pining?" you teased, pinching his cheek.

"Don't," he whined, pulling away from your grasp.

"Well, Jeongin left last night, he fled to a hotel room." Minho chimed in. "I should've just done the same."

"Why didn't you?" Jisung asked, clearly amused.

"I don't know, I was hoping the walls would be thick enough."

"Lee know, oh my god," you blushed, hiding your face in Chan's shoulder.

"You were loud, we could hear you from our room, which is right next to yours. We can also hear everything," Minho complains.

"Okay, okay," Chan concedes.

"So are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?" Felix pipes up.

"What elephant?" Changbin asks, who clearly hasn't caught on.

"These two fucked," he says, just now coming into the conversation.

"Okay, that's enough, I'm leaving." You say, your face red with embarrassment.

"I'll come with," Chris agrees, and you both get up and leave the room.

"Oh my god, can they just hate each other again?" Seungmin complains.

"For the love of god, yes," Minho agrees.

*+:｡.｡

[swordsandholly]

Across the Way

Chapter 4: New and Old Problems Alike

Retired!Ghoap x Fem!Fat!Reader

Ao3 | Previous - Next | Masterlist

MDNI | cw: fainting, some medical inaccuracies

Word Count: 5.8k

Summary: You go to Scotland with high hopes for your future. After all, you have the bakery you always dreamed of and a whole new life to live. Plus, the men who own the butcher’s shop across the street seem nice.

You haven’t texted them, even three days later. That little sticky note haunts the surface of your kitchen counter. It taunts you - tells you that you should text them and at least give them your number. That you’re being a terrible neighbor. They might need you too, after all. Even though you can’t figure out why they might for the life of you. On the other hand, you can’t help but feel wary about it. Men don’t take an interest in you - people in general rarely take interest. It’s hard not to feel suspicious, as pure as you’re sure their intentions probably are.

More so than any of that, you don’t know what to say. If it had been day one you could have just put your name, but now you feel like you need to explain. Or at least be funny or something. Tossing and turning on your designated rest day about what the hell you should do.

You’re overthinking it. You know that. You can’t stop, either.

They just seem so cool - so put together. So unlike you. You want to impress them. You don’t want to ruin the first possibility of friends in this new life you’re building for yourself.

Eventually you work up the courage to send off an initial text to each of them. Just to give them your name to save if they so choose - plus an extra thank you to Simon for giving you their numbers in the first place. Something simple and borderline cold. Too cold, maybe? Maybe you sound irritated. You hope not. You just want them to like you. Friends in new places are hard and to have someone around you who gets how it feels to need accommodations would just feel so… lovely. Your phone may or may not go flying onto your bed while you bury your face in your hands out of sheer nervousness.

You don’t expect it to chime about a minute later. Right as you’re staring to calm down, of course. It sends your heart violently pounding all over again.

J >> Bonnie lass!

J >> So glad u texted!!

>> Sorry it took so long lol

Oh, you could just slap yourself. You don’t have anything better than that? At all? Christ.

J >> Nah Nah

J >> No worries

J >> Actually I was wondering if u would mind if I came by tomorrow

J >> Just to chat

J >> need an excuse to get out of the house

“How the hell does he type that fast?” You scoff to yourself.

>> Yeah, come by anytime.

>> totally

>> yea sounds cool

>> rad, man

A message from Simon pops up mid your internal battle with how to respond, replying with a simple thumbs up. Very in character, you think. He knows how to be nonchalant. What would Simon say? Something casual, maybe a little formal.

>> If you like. You’re always welcome.

Okay maybe that was too much like Simon. You sigh heavily m before adding,

>> I’m trying out a new blueberry loaf

>> If you want to test for me :)

Better. That’s a little better. With another heavy sigh you decide to drop your phone into your nightstand for the rest of the day. Your heart really cannot handle this much emotional pressure.

~~~

You sort of end up just forgetting about the texts. With your phone out of sight and out of mind upstairs in your apartment it almost catches you off guard when Johnny comes striding through the door just before close. He’s dressed more casually than the last couple of times you saw him - having broken out the summer shorts and a graphic tee for some band you don’t recognize. It suits him, though.

“Hey, bon.” He grins.

“Hey.” You smile back, finishing with putting up your stocking baskets before dusting off your hands and turning around. “Simon closing up?”

“Aye.”

You hum. “Come on back, I’ll get you a slice of that loaf I mentioned.”

Johnny follows you quietly. Uncharacteristically quietly. That’s okay - you don’t have a problem with hanging out in silence. It doesn’t feel tense, surprisingly enough. He leaves Riley out front again. Should you get her a dog bed? Maybe if he comes by consistently. That would be nice. Maybe that’s wishful thinking.

“It’s sort of a pound cake but fluffier. I might make an icing for it but I don’t know if that would be too sweet…” You trail off, focusing on plating up the piece. You’re not sure what compels you to try and make it pretty for him. Probably something you could blame on your grandmother. She did have an obsession with presentation.

Johnny hums loudly after taking a bite, talking around the mouthful. “Y’should totally make an icing.” He swallows roughly. “Si would go crazy fer this.”

“Oh?” You smile. “I’ll send some home with you.”

There’s a lapse of silence while Johnny chews on his slice of bread and you pack up some in a paper bag for him to take home. The only sounds in the room comprised of your cutting and folding and the hum of the cooling oven.

“You’re being weirdly quiet.” You blurt, immediately covering your mouth with your hand. “I, uh, I mean that isn’t a bad thing! I don’t mind… I just, uh, was… sorry, never mind…”

“Well I did come wit’ a bit of an ulterior motive…” Johnny admits, glancing off to the side shyly. It’s a show, you think. Johnny doesn’t seem the type of man to have felt shy a day in his life.

You tilt your head. “Oh?”

He dusts off his hands and grins. “Let us take ye out! In celebration of yer first full month.”

Has it been a month already? “Oh - no, no you don’t have to-“

“C’mon! It’s a big accomplishment.” His smile is so bright that you almost believe his idea that you’ve done something great.

“…alright.” You give a tentative smile. It’s hard to believe they like you enough to want to hang out casually in the evening. Hard to imagine anyone liking you that much but you’re not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“There’s a pub down the street - the one on the corner. Want tae meet us there around six?” Johnny gives you that lovely smile. How could you ever say no to a smile like that?

“Okay.”

You spend far too long changing in and out of clothes and fussing with your hair. Up-do’s and buns and braids. A tank top then a sweater then a t-shirt. There’s no reason to feel this stressed over it. It’s not a date or anything. Besides, it doesn’t seem to make a difference. Either way you look like a frumpy dumpling. Eventually you land on jeans and one of your designated ‘going out tops.’ At least it’s a good excuse to wear something other than work clothes or loungewear.

Excitement and anxiety thrum under your skin like electricity as you make your way down the street. You feel painfully nauseous - stopping once or twice just to make sure you aren’t about to throw up for real.

The pub is surprisingly quiet when you enter. Obviously somewhere only real locals hang out - there’s no theme or really any decor in general. Just a bar, some booths and a couple pool tables. You scan the floor a few times, not seeing either Johnny or Simon (not that they would be hard to miss). Eventually you just grab a soda from the bar and slide into one of the booths closer to the back. A quiet spot facing the door where you can easily watch for them.

As time ticks on you begin to grow increasingly nervous. Did you get the time wrong? No, no you triple checked. You even wrote it down in your planner. Your leg begins to bounce furiously, heart nearly beating out of your chest. Did they decide to ditch? You wouldn’t really blame them. They’re way out of your league when it comes to friends. Maybe Johnny had an emergency? Should you call Simon? If he had an emergency it would make sense that they would forget to notice you. What if something really bad happened? What if-

The front door opens and Simon’s wide frame strides through, holding the door for Johnny and Riley to come in behind him. You let out a quiet sigh of relief, willing your leg to stop bouncing with a pinch to your thigh. Why are you always so damn dramatic?

Johnny lights up with an ear to ear grin when he spots you, bee-lining for the booth while Simon casually walks up to the bar. It’s almost comedic, the way he dwarfs the counter. Johnny leans on the side of the booth, waiting for Simon, you think.

“Glad ye could come out.” He looks you over, eyes flicking from your plain top to the very practical, not at all stylish up do that you landed on for the evening.

You do your best not to squirm under his gaze. “Me too…”

Simon comes back with two beers in hand and slides them onto the table. He scoots into the inner booth to give Johnny the outer edge. Riley happily sits beside his leg and practically grins at you in a near mirror image of Johnny’s. You’d never do it while she’s on the job, of course, but part of you wants to give her a pat on the head and coo at her for being so polite.

Johnny gives you an apologetic smile. “Sorry we were a bit late-”

“Johnny redid his hair about five times.” Simon butts in, not reacting at all to Johnny’s sputtering protest. He glances at your half-drunk soda. “Want me t’ grab you a beer?”

“Oh, no, I’ll just stick to coke.”

They blink at you. Simon cocks his head slightly. “You sure?”

You chew your lip. “Uh, alcohol tends to aggravate my symptoms is all...”

“Then why’d ye agree to drinks? We coulda gone somewhere else.” Johnny frowns.

You shrug. “I don’t mind. I… maybe this is over sharing but I’d rather go out and be kind of normal than just… not ever. Y’know?”

His expression softens. For having such icy blue eyes they are so, so warm. “I get it.”

“How’d you two meet anyway?” You blurt, taking a left turn to get the conversation off of you. It’s the first question that comes to mind. Maybe it’s rude - maybe you’re prying too much already.

“Military.” Simon grunts. “SAS.”

“Si retired wit’ me after I was discharged.” Johnny points to his scar the same way he did when you first met. “Russians scrambled my egg a bit.”

“Couldn’t do the time apart…” Simon murmurs, eyes locked on Johnny’s face. It’s vulnerable. More than he’s used to - you can see it in the way he tenses after saying it.

Something passes between them that a deep, wounded part of you desperately wishes to understand.

You can’t help but start giggling to yourself. They both give you an incredulous look. “Sorry, sorry - it’s just, that’s like… totally a romance book premise. It’s sweet. Really.”

“Och, aye. Wouldn’t know it t’ look at him but Si’s a real romantic.” Johnny bats his eyes at the other man, who just rolls his in response. The corner of his scarred mouth quirks up subtly.

“SAS…” You repeat, staring at your drink. “That’s like Navy Seal shit, right?”

“We worked with them a few times, yes.” Simon nods. There’s an air of ‘do not ask anything more specific’ in his voice.

“Huh.” You take that for what it is and sit back, squinting at them. “You don’t look it, honestly.”

Johnny laughs. “Tha’s just cause ye havennae seen Simon with his gear on. The Ghost.” He wiggles his fingers along as he makes a stupid, spooky sound effect. “I domesticated him.”

Simon scoffs but doesn’t deny it, just takes a quiet sip of his beer.

“Riley’s a vet, too.” Johnny pats her head. “Got too skittish around loud noises but she transitioned into a service dog nicely.”

“Now she’s just spoiled.” Simon rolls his eyes in faux annoyance. You get the strong feeling that he’s the one doing the spoiling.

You find yourself relaxing as the night goes on. Slouching in your seat rather than sitting ramrod straight and nervously twiddling your thumbs. They never press you to drink, never insist that you’ll be fine with just one. They take your statement as fact and it isn’t brought up again. That shouldn’t be as significant as it is, now that you think about it.

Johnny’s words begin to slur a little bit on his fourth, no maybe fifth, beer. You aren’t sure. It’s very cute, the little blush that forms across his cheeks. Simon loosens up, too. He slings an arm around the back of the booth and Johnny readily tucks himself into the open spot. You find yourself wondering about their military career again. You can’t picture either of them committing violence - especially Simon. Sure, he’s big and gruff but he looks at Johnny so, so softly.

Simon is the one to call it a night - though you have a feeling its because you nodded off a couple times. Not out of boredom, you try really, really hard to pay attention to Johnny rambling about the chemistry of different explosives. He makes it interesting, somehow. Really it’s just that you’ve been awake for… holy shit almost twenty hours!

“D’you need a ride?” Simon asks as you exit the pub, hands firmly shoved into his pockets.

“No, I’ll be fine.” You don’t know how to interpret the look he’s giving you. It’s intense, but not annoyed or displeased. He has such a weird knack for unreadable but distinct expressions. You wonder if you’ll ever get close enough to get good at deciphering them.

You jump when Johnny takes both your hands in, kissing the backs of them with a sloppy, drunk smile. “Thank ye fer comin’ out. “

Somehow your face feels hotter than a damn oven. You tuck your hands to your chest, kicking shyly at the sidewalk. “Th-thanks for the invite. We, uh, we could do it again sometime?”

You glance up hopefully, praying that you didn’t misread the situation. You’ve done that before - thought people liked you more than they did. Johnny just grins wider somehow and nods excitedly.

You watch them walk off in the other direction, hand in hand. Johnny giggles about something loudly and you can see Simon’s shoulders shake with a far more silent laugh. All the way until they disappear down the street.

The sheer amount that the image hurts your heart makes you feel evil.

~~~

The pub changed something. What, you don’t know. Either way, you fall into an easy pattern with Johnny and Simon over the next couple weeks. Exchanges of food, leftovers or morsels about to turn, little visits back and forth between your shops. Johnny continues to stop by after close, just hanging around with you while Simon closes up shop.

You can’t deny how much you look forward to hearing that door chime followed by a too-loud greeting from Johnny. How your heart flips in your chest when those bright blue eyes peek around the corner into the back room or light up while trying a new recipes you’ve been testing. You’re still a bit awkward - unsure how to react when he throws an arm around your shoulders or listens oh so intently while you talk about nothing important.

Things can’t ever be all sunshine and rainbows, though. Not for you. A new problem has arisen as summer truly sets in - the comfortable spring breezes giving way to nothing but bright, unfiltered sun. One you didn’t expect to impact you this much living this far north.

Heat.

It’s hard to breathe in the back room while you’re baking. Hard to keep your water and salt intake high enough to compensate for how fast you lose them. You might as well get a permanent saline drip attached to you at this point. You definitely didn’t google if that was physically possible. Your budget for liquid IVs and other supplements nearly doubles. Standing over the massive oven in the back room has your head swimming a few times. You end up resting longer on your weekends, unable to keep up like you could in cooler weather.

It’s okay, you tell yourself, the summer here isn’t like back home. It will pass quicker. Plus, you at least have methods of dealing with it now other than crossing your fingers and praying.

“Bonnie!” Johnny suddenly appears in your doorway - that charming smile splitting his face from ear to ear. “Ye made it up Main Street yet?”

“No?” You tilt your head and try to ignore the way your vision spots momentarily at the motion. “Why?”

“Ye dinnae hear about the summer festival?” He leans on your counter. You shake your head. “It’s a yearly thing. Not that big a deal but they have some fun games an’ it’s nice tae see everyone out an’ about. Si an’ I are about tae head down. Come wit’?”

You hesitate. The exhaustion in your body tugs at your spine. Your limbs feel heavy. This morning really got to you - out of towners who must have come for the festival flooded your shop the moment it opened on top of your Saturday regulars. Not that you’re complaining, really. It’s easily your best day so far. You want to go with them, though, despite the ache in your back and the sting in your joints. It sounds so fun and it’s never a bad idea to take part in your new community’s festivities.

“Yeah. That sounds nice.” You smile. You can tough it out for an hour, then come back home. Yeah, just an hour. You’ll be fine.

You hadn’t noticed Simon leaned up at the entrance to your shop. Your eyes lock on his arms. This is the first time you’ve actually seen him in short sleeves. You can’t help but stare at his half-sleeve tattoo - all skulls and bombs and other military motifs. Faded and sun worn. Yeah, if you’d seen that sooner you definitely would have picked up on the whole military thing. You bite your lip to keep from snickering about it.

You can hear the music drifting from the speakers down the street. A few kids run by with balloons and cheap carnival prizes. It almost reminds you of the Spring Fling back home, just missing the extreme American flag theming across every booth and vendor front. Now that you’re looking around, you can actually see several booths that have been sponsored by various businesses in the area. Even the post office has a snow cone stand. The deeper you get into the event, the more flamboyant the decor becomes. Multicolored streamers and pennet flags connect stands, creating an almost canopy effect.

Simon stops rather abruptly at a booth, waiting behind a few teenagers tossing rings onto bottles. You stop with Johnny about two feet away. What’s he thinking? Simon doesn’t seem like the type who would be too entertained by basic carnival games. Even so, he steps forward and passes over a couple bills to the vendor as soon as the teenagers leave.

“Si’s really good at these. Watch.” Johnny grins beside you.

“Aren’t they rigged?” You raise an eyebrow.

Johnny doesn’t answer, eyes locked on his husband as he lines up one of the rings. You have to lean slightly to see around the breadth of the man - the multicolor rings almost cartoonishly small in his hands. Cute. Your eyes get impossibly wide with each toss, every single one landing comfortably on the bottle necks as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. As if this isn’t one of the most commonly rigged carnival games.

“Holy shit…” You mutter, still staring.

“Aye, tha’s a SAS sniper for ye.” Johnny laughs. “Glad tae see it still comes in handy.”

Simon huffs out a quiet laugh at that. Almost more of a sigh if it weren’t for the shaking of his shoulders. You love it - their little dynamic. The bond between them that’s so strong it’s almost visible.

“‘ere.” Simon turns to you suddenly, holding out a cheap little carnival prize. You can’t even begin to decipher what it’s supposed to be - some sort of furry puff ball with big, embroidered anime eyes and two felt antennae sticking up out of it’s purple head… body… thing…

Your face heats. “F-, uh, me?”

He shrugs. “Suits you. Riley will just chew it up if we take it home.”

“Aye. She’s so good with everythin’ but cheap plushies.” Johnny snickers.

You glance down at the dog in question - her dark eyes glued to the toy in Simon’s hand. Her tail thumps against the ground where she sists dutifully, but you can see the desire to snatch the thing away in her twitchy ears and pleading eyes. You snort, taking the stupid thing and tucking it under your arm with the prayer that they don’t notice the heat now spreading from your cheeks to your ears.

“Thanks…” you murmur, already mentally deciding where to add it to the mess of stuffies covering your bed already.

Somehow you end up walking between them down the street - Simon on your left and Johnny on your right with Riley in tow. You stop at a few other games here and there. All pretty basic. Johnny absolutely kills at the dunk booth.

Simon tires his hardest to help you with your terrible aim, “Just visualize it. Y’have t’ account for the arc.”

You get to the point of sticking your tongue out in concentration. Even so you only manage to knock down a couple of the wooden ducks at the ‘Dunk-A-Duck’ stand. You do, however, win one of those rock candy sticks at the guessing booth. You just hand it off to Johnny. It’s probably not best to load up on sugar in your current state.

Johnny excitedly points to different buildings giving you a rundown of the history of his hometown as you walk. Simon seems to barely be listening. He’s probably heard this a thousand times. Prattling on about the old town square, the church bell that a bunch of teenagers spray painted one time (Johnny was not involved, how could you accuse him of that?)

You find yourself focusing on your feet - keeping each step even and fast enough to remain on pace with them. One, two, one, two, one, two. The air begins to thicken. Muggy and heavy on your skin. Your breaths become shallow and fast. You can’t catch it, the air seeming to get stuck in your throat rather than reaching your lungs. Spots begin to dance across your vision. You stumble over nothing.

Not now! Come on! You’ve been doing so well!

Riley presses against your leg acting as a counter weight. Your body moves on instinct to grab whatever you can - hands wrapping around something strong and covered with cloth. An arm solid as rebar. Hopefully it’s someone you know. All you can see are colorless shapes.

“Gonna pass out - don’t freak!” You gasp before your legs give out.

It’s not that you go entirely out - it’s rare that you fully black out. It’s more like being stuck. Limp and fuzzy and confused. Almost like sleep paralysis. There’s voices and people moving around you. Someone has picked you up, you think, based on the swaying motion and the passing shapes around you. Maybe that’s just vertigo. A door bell chimes.

You finally begin to really come to when something icy is pressed to your forehead. It couldn’t have been more than a handful of seconds that you were gone, but it takes much longer for the world around you to come back into focus.

“I’m sorry…” You murmur, eyes stinging. Even after all these years it’s so damn embarrassing. You blink, the distinct mural that decorates the ceiling of the post office slowly coming into view. Johnny said a big time traveling artist painted it back in the nineties.

“Ye alright?” Johnny murmurs, crouched down beside you. Riley sniffs at your hand, seeming satisfied when you finally move it on your own.

You nod slowly. “Overheated…”

“Give her this.” Someone says. An event medic, you think. The boys must have flagged them down. Fingers press to your pulse point, a light shines in your eyes and you follow it. A quick check of vitals. Johnny shoves a water bottle in your hand as soon as the medic decides you’re fine to move - the contents distinctly murky from some sort of electrolyte pack that’s been shaken into it.

“Up y’get. Slowly does it.” Simon helps you sit up with a hand on your back. It’s so gentle. You don’t miss how he cages in your body the way only someone intimately familiar with caretaking might. Fully ready to catch you if you go limp again.

You sip slow, eyes glued to the ground. You feel so fucking stupid. Can’t even walk down a street without creating some sort of scene. They’re never going to want to hang out with you again, are they? You can’t go out drinking, can’t walk around a festival for longer than a couple hours. You distracted Riley. What if something happened to Johnny while you were having your spell? She might not have alerted correctly because of you. She might have gotten confused and then he could have gotten hurt. He might have-

“Ye really should drink tha’ instead of glarin’ at it.” Johnny pulls you from your thoughts. He’s now sat with his legs crossed beside you. Riley’s head rests in his lap. She seems calm. Content now that the emergency is over and happily lying on a cool floor.

You hum, chugging the last bit of it quickly. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.” Simon says curtly. “Does this ‘appen often?”

You shrug. “Not as much anymore… usually my medication keeps me stable.”

“Do ye need a doctor?” Johnny tilts his head slightly. There’s no judgment in his tone - in either of their tones. Just calm concern. It probably shouldn’t make you want to cry as much as it does.

You shake your head. “I’ve got liquid IV at home. Just need to sleep it off.”

Hopefully. In reality, a pain flare up is inevitable now. You just won’t know how bad until you’re fully in it.

“Let’s get ye home.” Johnny says, knees popping as he stands.

“I-I’m fine!” You insist, mentally preparing to get yourself up off the floor. “I can get home on my own - I don’t want to ruin your time.”

Johnny levels his gaze onto you, so serious it almost looks angry. It doesn’t match his face. “We’re not leavin’ ye tae get home alone like this.”

You’re caught off guard when an arm slides under your back and another under knees - lifting you like you weigh half of what you do in reality. Like you’re a paperweight instead of a boulder. You blink up at Simon, far too surprised to be embarrassed. At least at first. You splutter out a poor attempt at convincing him to put you down. Excuse and reason after reason and excuse. They roll off him like water off a ducks back. Your face burns as he steps out of the post office with you neatly tucked against his chest - Johnny and Riley in tow.

If you allow yourself to be honest, to give into that weaker part of you (or, at least, the part you consider to be weak) you could possibly admit that this feels nice. Being cared for feels nice. Having your body up against someone else feels nice. It’s been a long time since anyone touched you outside of a polite handshake or accidental bump. You sink into it despite yourself - relaxing against Simon’s chest. They were right, you wouldn’t have made it back. Your head is too fuzzy and there’s that telltale pain in your shoulders radiating up to your neck that signifies an oncoming Bed Day.

It doesn’t take long with Simon’s lengthy strides to get back to your building. You probably wouldn’t have been able to keep up to that running. Well, you can’t really run much at all so you definitely wouldn’t. A stupid, muddled train of thought that melts into the hazy bog of your current mental state. Even Johnny trails a few feet behind. Neither of them speak, marching in determined silence. You attempt to subtly check their faces for any anger. You’d understand if they were angry. Most people would get angry. You interrupted their day out with your useless drama. All you get is a wide, bright grin from Johnny when your eyes eventually meet his.

Simon puts you down with all the care in the world. As if you’re made of fine china. His hand stays on your upper back - planted firmly between your shoulder blades and ready to catch you if need be. Your vision swims a bit, your joints feel like jelly but you manage to dig your keys out of your pocket and unlock the door.

“Here.” Johnny plops the puff ball back into your hands just as you turn to say goodbye. To say thank you - to apologize profusely.

Your brows raise. You completely forgot about it while swimming around in a sea of embarrassment - he must have picked it up for you. You hug it to your chest with a quiet, “Thanks.”

You shift your weight side to side, psyching yourself up for the crawl up the stairs. Probably literally. You don’t think you could stay upright if you tried to walk them like a regular day, or even with an aid. Like a regular or semi-regular person. Fuck.

Johnny follows your eyes up at the staircase. He must sense some hesitation in you. “Do ye need help up?”

You bite your lip, staring at the ground. Standing in one place seems alright, but the thought of climbing is so daunting, even with the cane you have stationed at the bottom of the steps for that exact purpose. It’s embarrassing. You’re young, you should be able to walk up some damn stairs. It isn’t even that many. It’s barely a full flight. Just one story of stairs for fuck’s sake.

“Hey.” Simon touches your cheek, the action snapping your eyes to his in surprise. “It’s okay. C’mere.”

He picks you up again in the same fashion with barely a grunt, taking his time up the steps so as not to jostle you. How many times has he done this with Johnny? you wonder. That’s the only explanation for how good he is at keeping your equilibrium so even. You wonder if he practiced - if he took caretaking classes. He probably did. Does he keep up at the gym just so he can take care of his husband? Simon might be quiet and a little formal, but he exudes dedication.

“Sorry it’s messy…” You murmur when they reach the top of the steps. Glancing behind you, you see Riley sitting patiently at the bottom. Johnny must have told her to stay. “Haven’t gotten to fully unpack…”

You’ve been spending too much time in bed on the weekends. Fucking lazy.

Johnny just laughs. “Ye shoulda seen the first place Simon an’ I had.”

“Wasn’t that bad.” Simon argues, carefully setting you down on the couch. His hands hold your waist to steady you. They’re so warm… It feels wrong to be disappointed when he lets go.

“We hadnae figured out a system yet.” Johnny huffs, hands on his hips. “We ended up hirin’ a specialized maid service the dishes got so backed up.”

You scoff, laying back against the couch with that stupid carnival prize still in your arms. Like it’s the only thing grounding you to reality. The tears that have been stinging your eyes this entire time continue to threaten to spill - a myriad of blinks and careful breaths the only thing keeping them back.

Johnny sits beside you slowly. You can’t meet his eyes. “Do… do ye want tae tell us what it is? Ye donnae have tae - it’s up tae ye. Just if somethin’ happens again…”

“We’d like to be prepared.” Simon jumps in where Johnny trails off.

You chew your lip, still staring up at the ceiling. It splits and that coppery taste coats your tongue for a moment. “I, uh, it’s called POTS. There’s different types but basically my body can’t regulate blood flow and pressure right…” You shrug. “Like I said my medication usually keeps me mostly okay.”

It’s the pain that really gets to you usually, but you don’t need to start dumping on them about that. There’s no reason to spill your guts about things they can’t fix.

“Thanks fer tellin’ us.” Johnny smiles. You stiffen slightly when he reaches out to tuck some hair behind your ear. You tilt your head, still resting on the back of the couch, to meet his eye. “Get some rest, yeah? We’ll lock the knob behind us. Call if ye need anythin’.”

“Okay.” You nod, keeping your eyes down and picking at your nails. “Sorry… about all this… I didn’t - I don’t… I’m sorry.”

“Donnae apologize.” He says softly as he stands. “Never apologize. We’re your friends, aye? Friends help friends. Tha’s all there is to it.”

Simon gives you a discerning nod behind him, expression both soft and deeply serious.

Friends? They consider you real life proper friends? Really? You can’t help but beam up at him. “Yeah.”

A/N: I’ve re-read this chapter so many times that it’s total mush in my brain which tells me it’s time to be done with it.

Bonus: I made a Pinterest board for this fic

[hanafubukki]

“Papa will you come back tomorrow?”

The innocently spoken words felt as if a thousand thorns struck Lilia.

Malleus climbed onto his bed; unaware of the turmoil his words had brought forth.

Papa.

Lilia took a shuddering breath in.

Papa.

Lilia clenched his fists.

Malleus couldn’t call him by such a title.

It wouldn’t be allowed.

“Malleus,” Lilia kneels in front of the little prince, “You can’t call me that.”

Malleus’ lips trembled, brows furrowed, “Why not? Papas are ones who takes care of and raises children.”

Lilia closed his eyes, he had to control his emotions; before holding the tiny hands clenching his clothes.

When had these hands grown? So small were they when he first hatched.

“My Prince, I am not your father.”

Meleanor and Levan, surely, they would laugh at his predicament.

But the Senate-

If the Senate found out, he would be barred from seeing Malleus.

He would never be able to see him again.

“But pa-”

“No.”

Lilia forced his voice to steady through the bitter gravel and yearning in his throat.

Every teardrop causing a fissure in his heart.

“I am just Lilia to you. I’ll only ever be your caretaker.”

Lilia straightens up, trying to ignore the shaking form of his princeling. Resisting taking him into his arms and soothing him as he had done many times before.

“Have a good sleep, My Prince.”

Lilia tries to ignore the sobs from behind.

“Papa come back!” Malleus wailed.

Lilia closed the door behind him.

Breaths coming out shallow, body heavy with grief.

Tears gather while teeth grit.

I’m sorry, my s—Malleus.

Lilia walks down the dark hallways, trudging forth.

Fragments of his heart left behind with each step he takes in tandem with the echoing sobs heightened by stone walls.

“Papa! Please! Don’t leave me!”

…yeah, I teared up a bit while writing this 😭💔 at least I didn’t kill off malleus this time…I’m sorry.

Do you ever think about how Malleus might have called Lilia “papa” or any other fatherly term when he was young as all children do? To the parents they love?

(Under the cut because I have a lot of thoughts and feels)

Do you ever think about how Lilia would have been so happy to have been called that by him? But he couldn’t? Not only because of the memories of Meleanor and Levan (in fact, I think they would laugh at the situation and tell Malleus to do it more if they were alive just for Lilia’s reactions lol), but because of the Senate?

Because the Senate would never approve. And if Malleus called him such a loving term, they would ban Lilia from visiting even the few times he could or snuck into the castle for Malleus.

Even if you take into consideration of Lilia hiding the circumstance of Malleus’ birth so he doesn’t feel guilty, do you ever wonder why? Or what led to it? The senate already tampered with history and how Malleus was born and they tried to control Malleus even now (they didn’t like him coming to NRC, all the guards he had, Malleus having to sneak away, etc)

I can see them isolating Malleus from Lilia if he ever uttered such a term in front of them. Then, Malleus would have no one left but his grandmother who he rarely sees as is.

Do you ever think about how Malleus tried to call Lilia a fatherly term but he couldn’t. Whether because Lilia said it, someone else did, or he stopped himself?

And how that yearning affected them both? Hurt them? In this case, how if Lilia stopped him, Malleus never tries again?

Not only because of the rejection, but because he doesn’t want to lose Lilia? He doesn’t want to be alone again? How Malleus is more polite and subdued the next time Lilia comes?

And Lilia knows? But this is how it has to be? Despite his bleeding heart? And the pain he caused them both? Because at least this way, he can still visit? Do you ever wonder if this is why Lilia tried even harder for the treaty? For Malleus to have freedom?

And…do you ever wonder Malleus’ reaction to Silver calling Lilia “toto” and then later “father”? Ever wonder, if this is the reason why “Malleus was jealous of an acorn bracelet”? Because Malleus couldn’t do, give, or say to Lilia what he always wanted?

Ever think about how this could be why he refers to Silver as “Lilia’s son” or Silver being a child but never himself? How he buries his feelings even now hearing “caretaker” versus “father”? Because of such situations in the past or what led to it?

Because I do, and damnit, I’m crying thinking about it. 😭😔

Also little storytelling bits I like to add as an emphasis:

“Malleus -> My Prince”

To add that little bit of extra angst, that bit of boundary placed and rejection. 😔😭 OTL

How even speaking the words “my son” mentally might cause him to slip, and yet, he still calls him Malleus and not My Prince.

[ssahotchnerr]

How about it’s the first year reader celebrates thanksgiving with hotch as a couple and wants to cook the thanksgiving meal all by herself to impress him but it goes horribly wrong… in a cute way lol

new traditions

cw; fem!reader, established relationship, mentions of food, aaron being the softest man ever <3 wc; 1.1k

you thought you had prepared for every possible scenario.

turkey, out of the freezer with plenty of time to thaw. you strategically planned out what was to go in to the oven when (you in fact, had made a spreadsheet). you had quadruple checked your planned recipes, making sure you had each and every needed spice and ingredient they possessed. if all went according to plan, your first thanksgiving as hostess would run nothing but smoothly.

the one thing you hadn't anticipated, however, your apartment's power going out.

your heart plummeted into your stomach when your apartment dimmed and succumbed to complete silence - the hum of the oven halting loudly. while it was instant, the sound seemed determinately slow, as if it were somehow mocking you. that yes, the universe was throwing a wretch in your plans and you had to deal with the consequences.

once your mixer slowed to a stop, you dropped it into the bowl with no condolences for the potatoes, quietly murmuring a 'no no no' under your breath. maybe you had popped a fuse, maybe all your lightbulbs had miraculously popped simultaneously, maybe your eyesight had suddenly decided to give up on you after all these years. but of course, you couldn't be that fortunate.

dinner was ruined.

you gave it an hour or two, in which the time the turkey should've been cooking, and you should've been aiding to all the other dishes you planned on serving. but instead you spent the time lighting candles around your apartment as the sun set, trying to come up with a solution, such as serving dinner, or some of dinner, late. but word soon spread; a tree branch had fallen on multiple power lines and since it was a holiday, it wasn't promised to be restored until tomorrow morning. perhaps the middle of the night if lucky.

defeatedly and regretfully, you grabbed your phone, selecting aaron's contact.

"hey," his deep, relaxed voice entered your ear, full of enthusiasm at that. "we're just about to head over-"

"about that," you cut him off, "i wouldn't venture too far."

a brief moment's hesitancy, "is everything okay?"

there was no use lying, as aaron could cue into every tone change and ultimately determine your mood or current state of mind, even over the phone. "no, my power went out."

"oh sweetheart," his tone deflated, and you could imagine the expression of sympathy struck on his face. "i'm sorry."

"no, i'm sorry." you peered up at the ceiling, trying to keep your inevitable tears at bay. "it's been out for a while, and pretty much stalled everything. i was hoping it would switch back on but it doesn't look that way. so i don't - won't have dinner ready, i'm really sorry."

"sweetheart..."

"i know you said your colleagues were throwing a get-together? i would just attend that. that way, you'll still have somewhat of a thanksgiving."

-

as you sulked, tossing a hardened glare to your kitchen every so often, a knock came from your door. you opened it to reveal two smiling hotchner faces, one just taller than the other.

"jack, what do you say?" aaron's hand found the back of jack's head, ruffling his hair in encouragement.

"happy thanksgiving!" jack rushed forward and hugged your legs, before scampering into your apartment.

"happy thanksgiving." aaron echoed with that smile of his, giving you a kiss upon his entrance inside.

you closed the door behind him, dazed from his arrival and the kiss. "what are you doing here?"

"you didn't think we'd let you spend tonight alone, did you?" he arched an eyebrow, his expression communicating a silent 'yeah right'. like a lost puppy, you silently followed him into your kitchen.

"we whipped up the quickest thing we had at home." aaron explained, unpacking the bag he had brought contents onto the counter. "to jack's delight, that happens to be mac and cheese. it's still warm, so we'll have to eat now. we also brought extra candles - i still can't believe it's this dark out this early."

you leaned into him as he spoke, your cheek pressing against the coarse fabric of his jacket.

"it's wonderful but," you sighed, speaking partially into his upper sleeve, "it's not the traditional thanksgiving dinner i promised."

"then we'll make our own traditions." aaron reassured, opening the tupperware of mac and cheese, steam escaping. "it's our first year, first time for everything."

"but the turkey-"

"-would've been amazing, i'm sure. but this was entirely out of your hands, darling, and we'll make do." he pressed a kiss to your temple, his voiced laced with such understanding. such sweetness.

"well." you warmed up a bit, straightening your posture with a little more hopefulness in your tone. "there's rolls, i suppose."

"see." aaron gave your hip a squeeze, the ends of his eyes crinkling slightly as he smiled. "perfect."

and so, your thanksgiving feast was complete with macaroni and cheese (albeit it was spongebob shaped), dinner rolls, cranberry sauce - the few dishes that hadn't needed help from the stove. rather than your kitchen table, you brought your set-aside-for-fancy-occasions dinnerware to your coffee table, and you each found a seat on the floor, cushioned by a pillow. it was filled with laughter, thoughtful conversations, aaron reminding jack to not talk with his mouth full, and you and aaron exchanging long, loving gazes back and forth.

truth be told, illuminated by candlelight and in the company of the two you had grown to love so immensely the past few months, you had forgotten the current circumstances.

once pumpkin pie was devoured (again, a non-essential of the oven) aaron pulled up a charlie brown thanksgiving on his phone, and the three of you curled up underneath a blanket on the couch. aaron in the middle, you and jack adjacently buried into his side, as close as close could be. but ten minutes in, jack crossed his dad's lap and crawled his way onto yours.

you also had a newfound appreciation of charlie brown's given meal to his friends: toast, popcorn, pretzels, jelly beans. even aaron shot you an amused yet cautious glance at the plot line - too soon? but once he saw you had found it humorous, did he lightly chuckle aloud.

sure, it wasn't the perfect, ideal evening you had originally envisioned, but it was one definitely worth remembering. one you could look back on and laugh at, and the reason why now character pasta was a must-have on the table for future holidays to come.

in hindsight, it was better than you could have ever imagined.

[samandcolbyownme]

Full fanfic based on this snippet

Warnings: kissing, fluff

Word Count: 1.3k | unedited

══════════════════

You stretch over, grabbing your phone off the night stand to silence your raging alarm. You sigh as you rest your head down on the bed, before feeling hands slide over your hips and pull you back across the bed.

You giggle as you feel Colby nuzzle his face into your neck as he whines, “Don’t go yet.” He slides his arm over your waist, “Please.”

“I need a shower, plus-“ He wines at your words but you keep talking, “-I told them yesterday I’d be in early.” You pout, running your hand over his arm, “Todsy’s y/n hates yesterday’s y/n.”

He sighs dramatically against your neck, chuckles as he presses kisses to it, “You’re just so soft, and warm.” He pulls you against him more, “Please stay with me. All day.” He whines, “Please.”

The begging was getting to you. Seeing Colby all soft and sleepy made you want to do almost anything he wanted you to do.

You groan as you roll over to face him, hands lying flat on his chest, “I would love nothing more than to stay here all day with you, but I have to be there today, baby.”

He pouts, eyes still closed, “Fine.” He tightens his grip, smirking at what he’s about to say next, “But, If I’m correct, I believe you have another twenty minutes, or so to spare..”

Colby knew you always set an alarm a little before you actually needed to get up, you called that the ‘time to contemplate on whether or not you really needed this job’.

You smile, giving him a nod before laying your head under his chin, “You would be correct.”

He wraps his arms around you, holding you tight as he lets out a quiet sigh, “Do they really need you today?”

You stay silent for a few seconds before pushing yourself away from him, “I’ll be right back.” He lets out a while, stretching his body across the bed as if he’s trying to contain the warmth from your body, “No, don’t go anywhere.”

You smirk, grabbing your phone, “I’ll be right back, okay. I promise, baby.”

You go to the bathroom, pulling up your assistant’s number. The line rings a few times before she answers, “Are you already at the office? Am I late? Oh gosh, I’m sorry I-“

“No, no. I’m still home. I’m calling to tell you that you have the day off, something came up and I won’t be in today.”

“Oh.” She lets out a sigh of relief, “Don’t scare me like that.” She laughs and you sighs, laughing slightly, “Go back to bed. See you tomorrow.”

You hang up and make your way back to Colby, who is again, sound asleep.

You set your phone down after silencing every alarm you have on, and crawl back into bed with him, “I took off.”

“You didn’t have to.” He says as he pulls you closer to his body, “But I appreciate it.”

“I wanted to.” You reach up, laying a hand on his cheek, “I could really use a day just lounging around with you.”

“Now you get it.” He laughs and presses a kiss to your cheek, “Now go back to sleep, baby.” He lays on his back, his arm pulling you with him.

You lay against him, head on his chest as you slowly drift back to sleep.

——

You wake up, about two hours later, and Colby is gone.

“Colby?” You call out, and right as you go to get up, Colby’s pushing the door open, “Sorry. I thought you’d still be sleeping.”

He walks a tray over, setting it down over your legs and he quickly runs around and gets in on his side, “I thought you’d be hungry, so I made breakfast.”

“You’re so sweet.” You pout and look at him and he reaches over, “Not as sweet at this strawberry, try this.” (I’m sorry if you’re allergic to strawberry, just change it to your fav fruit lol ily)

“Mm.” You nod, “That is good.”

He smirks and tilts his head as he stares at you. You glance over at him, “What?”

He shakes his head, “Just admiring how pretty my girlfriend looks.”

You feel your cheeks heat up and you smile, “Oh stop it.” You shove a strawberry into his mouth and he smiles, “What? I’m just being honest.”

You roll your eyes, playfully, “Yeah, I know.” You lean in, pressing a kiss to his nose, “I love you.”

He smiles and kisses your nose, “I love you.”

——

After breakfast, you spent the rest of the morning sleeping on and off, small talk with Colby, and just overall relaxing.

You were glad you called off. You don’t really ever get to relax like this anymore, not unless Colby grabs you by the shoulders and forces you to, which is something you need sometimes.

Around lunch time, you moved to the living room, but you both agreed that the bed was more comfortable.

You had lunch and just laid together, tangled within each other as you listened to him talk about his upcoming investigations.

You were always fascinated by what he does. You admired him for putting himself through tough situations like he has.

“What are your plans for today?” You mumble, face buried in his neck. He chuckles, “You’re doing them with me.”

“We’re just going to stay in bed all day?” You tilt your head up and he nods, “Oh yeah.”

You smile, sliding your hand over his chest to trace over his tattoo, “I’m fine with that.”

“Good, because you don’t really have another choice.” He wraps his arms around you, “What do you want to drink?”

“Surprise me.” You smile as you watch him leave the room. You roll over, staring out the window as you wait for his return.

He’s gone a little longer than you expected, which kinda peaks your curiosity, so you get out of bed. You make your way over to the door and down the steps, stopping when you reach the kitchen, “I thought you got lost.”

Colby turns around, “No. I didn’t get lost. I was just-“ he sighs, walking over to you, “I had this.. idea.. but it’s not going the way I planned and I’m just-“

“Hey.” You look up at him, “What’s going on?”

Colby stares at you, reaching into his pocket as he gets down onto one knee. Your body relaxes and your eyes go wide, “Colby.”

He pulls out a ring box, revealing the most beautiful ring you had ever seen, “Y/n. You are the light to my dark. You’re always there to lift me up and you are just everything I could ever want in a person and it would be the utmost honor, if you marry me.”

Tears in your eyes, you drop down to the floor. Your arms wrap around his neck, “Yes, as many times as I can say it..” you lean back, pressing your lips to his, “Yes.”

He pulls you in, kissing you again before sliding the ring on your finger. Both of you stare down at it before looking at each other, “I love you.” You shake your head, “I love you so much.”

Colby smiles, hands gripping your hips, “I love you and I love that this actually went better than I thought.”

“You thought I’d say no?” You laugh slightly and Colby shakes his head, “No I just didn’t want my nervousness to ruin it.”

“You didn’t ruin anything.” You stand up, reaching out for his hand, “Now come on. We have to go celebrate.”

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” He whines as he stands up and you smirk, “I wasn’t talking about going out, baby.”

He smirks, lifting you up over his shoulder to whisk you away to the bedroom.

══════════════════

Hope you liked! Thanks for reading. I love you sooo much! See ya in the next one!

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[daisyvisions]

A Little Motivation - (e.s)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: Baseball Player!Eric x Fem! Reader ‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Summary: Being a volunteer tutor can be challenging, especially when it’s the university’s star athlete who hardly pays attention. How will you get him to focus and what lengths are you willing to go through to get his full attention? ‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 1.5K ‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), pervy!Eric, allusions to male masturbation, allusions to sexual favors, smut is not explicit per se, but let me know if I missed a warning! ‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: had this drafted for quite sometime and finally found some motivation (lol) to finish it. Let me know if you’d like a part 2! Proofread once. ‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network: @deoboyznet

Being a volunteer tutor was always something you were passionate about. You always loved to help others understand lessons they were stuck on, the smile on their faces when they get the correct answer, and even the spark in their eyes when they hit that “aha” moment.

And it really didn't matter to you how long it took some of the students to understand the lessons. Your patience was always one of your strongest traits. Never in your life had you felt irritable or impatient with anyone.

… that is until Eric Sohn entered the picture.

You've heard of the name countless times. He's practically the star athlete in your university. No matter who you were talking to, his name somehow found its way into the conversation. Not only was he the star athlete, but he was also known to be incredibly handsome.

His face looked like it was perfectly molded by the hands of a god. From his strong facial features all the way to his toned abs, one look from him would turn your knees into jelly.

But not you.

Eric Sohn was the bane of your existence the moment you were paired to be his tutor. You see, in order to keep his status as the star athlete, he needed to pull up his grades. Otherwise he would be kicked out of the baseball team (which was something he dreaded the most).

It all started when he showed up late to your first session all because he was flirting with someone outside of the library. Then later on he would constantly use his phone during sessions, half-ass his answers, wouldn't stop talking about sports or parties, etc.

Sure, you've had your fair share of distracted students. But he was a literal nightmare.

“Are you even listening to me?” you ask, trying your best to keep your cool.

“Yeah yeah atoms whatever-” he doesn't even look up at you while he's texting on his phone.

You were starting to become frustrated with him, wondering how anyone could see him as perfect when he's got the attention of a damn goldfish.

You sigh out of frustration, slamming the book closed and immediately pushing your chair away from the table to stand.

“I think we're done for today.” you wait for his reaction as you sling the strap of your bag over your shoulder.

“Yeah? Cool! See you tomorrow, tutor.” He winks at you before getting up. You scoff before you turn to leave the study room.

“See you tomorrow.”

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.

The next day you were running late to your tutor session with Eric. Sprinting down the hall as fast as you could, you lost track of time tutoring another student who needed urgent help in finishing an assignment.

You barge in the private study room, immediately apologizing for your tardiness as you dropped your stuff onto the table and readjusted your hair and sundress from all the running.

“You okay there?” Eric asks while scrolling on his phone. “Yeah, got caught up with another student.” You breathe out.

“Ah shit-” you curse under your breath as your pen rolls off the table and you immediately drop down to get it.

As soon as you bend down to reach for the pen, Eric looks up from his phone to check what you’re doing and is suddenly greeted by the view of your sundress hiked up enough to give him a glimpse of your clothed cunt.

He felt like his eyes were about to fall off from the view in front of him. He knew he shouldn’t have stared but the way your ass was angled to him? He was ready to drop everything and worshi-

“Eric? Wanna start already?” you look up at him, noticing the hot flush in his cheeks.

“Y-yeah, yeah let’s start.” He frantically stutters, turning to his book as he tries to hide his embarrassment from you.

As the tutoring session goes on, it’s like you were slowly unraveling in front of Eric eyes. He kept getting distracted with the way your mouth moved when you talked, how your cleavage would show every time you shifted in your seat, and so on. You were like a forbidden fruit being dangled in front of his face and he was struggling to resist taking a bite into you.

The more he kept on looking, the more he could feel his cock strain beneath his pants. You’d think he’d be more distracted than ever when you would ask him questions, but it was quite the opposite. For the first time, Eric was actually paying attention during a tutoring session, but you already knew why.

And he wasn't so slick in hiding it either, you knew exactly why he was more attentive than usual today after catching him staring at your ass… So you decided to take advantage of the moment.

“Eric, can we take a tiny break first? I wanna talk to you about your progress.”

“Uh.. sure I guess?” his eyebrows scrunching in confusion.

“We've been at this for a couple of weeks now and it seems like your grades aren’t improving. They’ve been the same ever since and some even slowly dropping…” You heavily sigh as you lift your glasses up to your head and lean your elbows on the table, making sure your cleavage is tastefully exposed.

You can see the way Eric awkwardly shifts his legs from his seat, trying to “discreetly” adjust his jeans from the strain of his erection underneath.

You scoot a little closer, reaching your hand out to lightly grab his chin and get his eyes to focus on you, “What will it take for me to get you focused, hm?” You stare right into his dilated pupils.

“I-uh- I’m not s-so sure…” he stutters, trying to clear his throat from feeling the intensity of your gaze.

“I’ll tell you what-” You pull away your hand from his chin and place it on top of his thigh. You swear you heard a very faint gasp coming out of his mouth.

“If you get a really good score in your test this week… I’ll reward you with something special.” You stroke your thumb repeatedly on his thigh.

“Shit-” he mutters under his breath while trying to keep himself together.

“Do we have a deal?” You ask him.

“Yes, yeah. Totally, yeah we have a deal.” He quickly responds.

“Good!” You squeeze his thigh quickly before pulling back your hand and reopening your book, “Let’s get to it then!”

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.

After an hour and thirty minutes more of your tutoring session, Eric was able to answer all your questions correctly and even get an impressive grade on the short mock test you let him answer.

“Wow look at that Eric! You answered everything so well!” You place your hand on top of his.

“Couldn’t have done it without the best tutor…” he replies sheepishly.

“Good job! I’m so proud of you!” You move your hand to lightly stroke his hair, Eric’s cheeks flush at the praise and gesture.

“T-thank you…” he stutters as he tries to avoid looking back at you. Your praises subtly making his hard on strain even further.

As soon as the bell rings, you gather all your things into your bag and head out for the door. You stop midway to turn back to Eric.

“Oh yeah! Almost forgot-” Your hands suddenly disappear under your dress. You wiggle your hips a bit until Eric visibly sees your panties drop to your ankles.

“What are you doing?!” He loudly whispers, shocked by your sudden gesture.

His eyes widen and before he can even fully process what’s happening you quickly step out of your underwear and throw at his direction making it hit directly in his face. His eyes nearly roll back in his skull from getting a quick scent of your essence on them.

“A little reward for today superstar, you deserve it.” You walk towards him as he’s still seated in his chair, making sure your hover above him.

“I gotta go now but just remember-” you caress his jaw with your hand while keeping eye contact with him. His cheeks start to feel like they’re on fire from your lingering touch and the way you’re looking down at him.

“-every time you do well, you’ll get a reward… and it can be anything you want.” You swipe your thumb delicately across his bottom lip, making him whimper from your touch.

“See you tomorrow!” you pull your hand back and quickly exit the room, leaving Eric stunned in his chair, your panties still crumpled in his hand and a light wet patch forming at the front of his jeans. Oh he’s definitely gonna have some fun tonight thinking about you while he shoves your underwear in his face and pumps his cock like there’s no tomorrow.

And he’s especially excited on what kind of reward awaits him the next tutoring session.

-- Part 2 --

[carmenberzattosgf]

Carmy trying to make reader squirt 🤭 it somehow comes up casually and reader is like “oh yeah lol it happened to me once a few years ago but idk how the hell I did it” and Carmy just like short circuits 💀 then he hyperfixates on it for 3 days and when he finally has some time off bro is DETERMINED to make reader do it again. Like brows furrowed in concentration. Fingering them like no tomorrow and breathing heavy. Overstim and talking them through it. Praise. 🫣

Oh my god. ( this is not proofread it is literally 2am)

Carmy’s not super experienced. We all know this. In all honesty he barely knows what squirting is. He thought it was just a thing in porn, until it came up in a conversation between you two.

“I’m pretty sure it happened to me once a few years ago, but I have no clue how I did it.”

“W-wait what? I thought that only happens in porn.” His cheeks begin to flush as he thinks about it. You, with your fingers curling up inside of you, gushing onto the sheets below you.

You giggle at his pure cluelessness. “It can happen, it’s just not common. Some girls can’t do it at all. I didn’t realize I could until it happened.”

“Oh.”

Needless to say Carmen cannot get the idea out of his mind. It literally haunts him at work. He wants to make you squirt. He needs to.

Carmy being the nerd that he is researches the hell out of it, making sure he knows exactly what he’s doing. That Saturday on his day off, he’s determined to make it happen.

His lips are on yours the second he finishes cleaning up the kitchen from cooking dinner. His mouth moves sloppily against yours, teeth clashing together.

“Carm—“ you manage to break away from his eager lips for a brief moment. “What’s the rush? We can calm down a bit, you know. We have all night.”

“I wanna make you squirt. I’ve been— thinking about it non-stop for the past few days. I can’t fucking think straight. Can I? Please?”

How can you refuse him when he’s looking at you with those desperate blue eyes. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”

You and Carmy work together to remove your clothes. He has you lay down on your back with your knees spread wide. He sits beside you, still fully clothed. “J-just tell me if you want to stop.”

His middle and ring fingers press into your soaked core with no hesitation. Carmy’s studying you, the facial expressions you make, and the way your cunt pulses around his fingers. His movements are slow and gentle at first, but that changes quickly. He quickens the thrust of his fingers while hooking the two fingers upwards. Carmy’s searching for that rough spot, and by your reaction, he knows he found it.

“Carmy! Fuck—“ you hand aimlessly searches for something to hold onto to steady yourself. Carmen offers his left hand, which you grip tightly.

Once he finds the spot, Carmy locks into focus. His thrusts are deliberate, alternating between speeds and making sure to apply pressure. Your hips move out of their own volition. “That it, baby? That feel good?” He asks. His voice his smooth, but you don’t miss the way he’s biting his lip in concentration. His brow is furrowed and sweat collects on his forehead.

“Yes, Carm. Please. Please don’t stop.”

“Wasn’t planning on it. I’ve got you.” Carmy continues to pleasure you, only stopping for a brief moment when you neared your climax. He softly shushes your whimper of complaint. “I know, baby. Trust me. You can trust me.”

His pace picks back up before you even know it. His fingertips move at lightening speed, pressing hard at the rough patch at the top of your core. Carmy looks like pure sex, and you’re not even pleasuring him. His face is completely flushed as he breathes heavily, panting for hair. Sweat is starting to pool off of his brow and down the side of his face. His eyes are blown out; only a small sliver of the blue still visible.

“Carm— I’m close. Please I’m so close. Fuck!” Your cries are nearly incomprehensible. Your hips buck against his fingers.

“Cum. Gush around my fingers. Make a fucking mess.”

“Shit— Carmen—“ you moan as your orgasm over takes you. You shutter as you feel liquid spill between your legs. It’s euphoria like you’ve never felt before.

“Good girl! Fuck. That’s it. Keep cumming for me. Don’t stop soaking my fingers, baby,” Carmy praises, watching you in awe. You clutch onto his body as more spurts leave you. He hasn’t slowed down his fingers at all. It’s all becoming too much.

“T-too much—“ you try and tell Carmy, but he doesn’t slow down immediately.

“I’ve got you. You can take it.” He’s still watching your cunt at your hips recklessly move against his hand. He can’t believe he made you squirt. He wants to stay in this moment as long as possible.

After he’s finally decided you’ve had enough, he removes his fingers from you. As if on autopilot, he places the digits in his mouth, licking the remnants of your slick off of them. You pull him down by the back of his neck to kiss him deeply.

“Fuck, Carm. That was— I don’t even know what to say.” You don’t need to think of anything else, though, because Carmen does the rest of the talking.

“You did so good for me. Holy shit that was—God, you’re so fucking pretty. I want to do that over and over and over—“

“Woah let’s slow down a sec. I need to remember which side is my left or or my right first.”

“Sorry… got a little bit excited.”

From then on Carmy loves to make you squirt. His favorite thing to do is bring a mirror into it, so you can see how fucking gorgeous you look squirting around his fingers. Also he definitely starts to try and learn how to make you squirt with his cock after this….

[moni-logues]

A Simple Favour

Pairing: Changbin x named reader (afab, she/her)

Genre: fake dating, friends-to-lovers, smut

Summary: Your temper got the better of you and you lied to your sister. Rather than coming clean, you get your best friend playing pretend, too.

Word count: 21.5k 💀

Content: fingering, protected sex, discussion about sex toys, some very uh, unshowered sex lol, reader is called Miki (Mikyong)

A/N: ahhhghheghhef my longest ever one-shot and first ever fake-dating fic is here!!!! And it's BINNIE!!!! this all started with this post and I truly never had any intention of turning any of them into proper fics. But then.... but then I honestly couldn't stop thinking about this Changbin and so I wrote a scene and then another, and then another and suddenly, it was happening! I HAVE given reader a name, because it's frankly annoying af to not be able to call your reader anything and I don't like using 'y/n' lol so hope that is ok with y'all hahah

Thank you to @minisugakoobies for beta-ing and @violetsiren90 for all the sprinting and enthusiasm!!!!!!!!!

* * *

“I need to ask you a favour.” 

“Yeah, ok, sure.” 

“No, no, I need you to hear what it is first.” 

You sat down next to Changbin on the sofa and it was only then that he started looking as if he was paying attention. 

“Ok...” 

“I need you to be my boyfriend.” 

Changbin was out of his seat before the word had come to an end. 

“What?!” 

“Not really!” you cried, immediately standing up again, hands raised, trying to placate him. “I just need you to pretend to be!” 

“What?!” 

You groaned loudly and tipped your head back to shout at the ceiling. Then you motioned for him to please return to his seat so you could explain. 

“I... may... have... toldmysisterthatwe’retogether.” 

He was on his feet again, roaring. 

“WHAT?!” 

“It’s not my fault, ok?! You know how annoying she is!!!! She won’t stop going on about how we act like a couple and how we’d be good together and why don’t we just get together and don’t I see and no one else wants to go out with me anyway, what, do I think I could do better and I just fucking snapped!” You gripped him hard on the arms and stared, wide-eyed and grimacing at him. “I couldn’t take it anymore,” you told him through gritted teeth. “I snapped. I told her we were already dating but trying to keep it quiet until we knew if it was going anywhere.” 

Changbin did exactly as you had not a minute before: looked skyward and groaned all too loudly at the ceiling of your apartment.  

“So you mean to say that your sister now thinks we’re a couple?” 

“Yeah... and I mean, Chan, too, obviously. He was there.” 

Changbin closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  

“You mean my best friend Chan?” 

“Hey! I’m your best friend!” 

“Not anymore!” 

He took a few steps away from you and shook his head, shook out his arms, rolled his shoulders. You did not know if you would be able to convince him to go along with your charade. It wouldn’t have to be forever, not even for long; you just had to find a way to back out of it that left both your names untarnished. Couldn't be that hard, right? 

“Please, Binnie,” you began, tone softer now, sweeter, pleading just a little. “I know, I suck. But my sister sucks more and I really just want to get her off my back for a bit and I promise I will sort it out. I promise I’ll let us break-up quickly and you’ll come out smelling of roses! But please, please back me up on this.” 

He turned around, looking at you seriously.  

“What exactly is involved?” 

“Well, y’know, if Chan asks about it or something, just... go along with the lie. You don’t have to do anything really.” 

“Except for the lying and deceit and stuff.” 

“Yeah.” 

There was a pause in which Changbin stood, staring out of the window, hands on his hips, deliberating. Then he turned sharply to look at you. 

“I have a date tonight. Can we start tomorrow?” 

You inhaled sharply through your teeth, eyes shut tight.  

“Nope!” 

You winked an eye open to see how he’d react. There was outrage on his face. 

“What do you mean ‘no’?!” 

“You can’t go on a date with someone else if we’re together!! What if someone sees you?” 

He shouted again at the ceiling. 

“I was going to get laid tonight!” 

“Sorry!” 

You cowered, made yourself as small as possible, watching him as he nevertheless unlocked his phone and fired off a quick cancellation text. 

“I’m going to make you pay for this, you know,” he told you as he typed. 

“I know. I deserve it.” 

“Fine,” he said with a sigh. “I’ll do it.” Then he flopped back onto the sofa and patted the seat next to him. “But to be absolutely clear, I am not going to your stupid family lunches.” 

“Actually...” 

* 

You were at your stupid family lunch. You had been going to Sunday lunch with your family for what felt like forever. At first, you and your sister schlepped way too far outside the city to your parents’ house, but now your sister hosted. Your sister and her husband, who just so happened to be best friends with your best friend. Why did the world have to be so small? 

This time, your boyfriend was here, too. Sorry, your ‘boyfriend.’ It had taken a thousand favours owed and promises of future gifts made, but Changbin finally agreed to come, and you had agreed the rules for this deception: 

1. You and Changbin had been dating for a ‘few weeks’ (since you got drunk at the river and decided to say ‘fuck it why not?’ to the whole thing).  

2. You made the first move. 

3. When in public together, you would always be prepared to act like a couple, should you run into anyone you knew.  

4. Changbin would lead and you would ‘yes, and’ him, no questions asked. 

5. Absolutely no dating other people, just in case.  

6. It was your job to find a way to end it that made both of you look good – or at the very least, made Changbin look good.  

7. No one—and that meant no one—else could know that it wasn’t real. 

Just as you were walking up to your sister’s front door, Changbin added another: you would give him servings of everything first – including seconds and thirds, even if they came from your own plate. He knew your mum and sister cooked well and he was going to enjoy at least some part of this afternoon. You felt you had no choice but to agree. 

“Hello,” you called as you entered your sister’s house, without enthusiasm.  

You had been dreading this since the second the words had left your mouth the previous week. You could have just not lied; you didn’t have to have said that you and Changbin were dating; you could have controlled your temper even a little and not have got yourself in this predicament. You could even have swallowed your pride and embarrassment and told your sister it was a lie, that you had said it to try to shut her up. It wasn’t like it would’ve been the first time you’d told her how annoying she was.  

But you hadn’t. You had lied and now you were sticking to the lie and Changbin was fully involved (if not invested) and you were about to spend an afternoon pretending to like him. 

You liked him fine, as a friend. You liked him a lot, even, as a friend. But he wasn’t That Guy to you. He’d never elicited so much as a single butterfly in your stomach. Not a flitter of a wing or twitch of an antenna. He was just Binnie. And you knew he felt the very same about you.  

“Finally,” your sister said by way of a greeting as she came down the stairs. “You’re late-” 

“No, we aren’t,” you snapped back, fully prepared to argue further but the look on your sister’s face took you by surprise. 

She was surprised.  

“Oh, Changbin! I didn’t know you were coming.”  

There was a sly smile on her lips as if there was a joke you weren’t in on, but you didn’t have capacity to be annoyed by that; you were waiting with bated breath to see what Changbin would do. 

“Hi, Hanbyeol,” he said, as polite and charming as he might ever have been. “Miki said she told you I was coming. I hope it’s alright I’m here.” 

“Of course it is! The more the merrier, right?” 

She winked at you as she walked past into the kitchen, and you rolled your eyes.  

“Absolutely!” Changbin responded, following her, grabbing your hand and tugging you along, too.  

This was going to be a very long afternoon.  

* 

The very longest afternoon of your life. When Changbin had made you promise to ‘yes, and’ him, you had thought he meant go along with his concocted story of your first date or something.  

You hadn’t expected... whatever the hell it was he was doing.  

The first time he called you ‘baby,’ you literally, physically flinched and had to try very hard not to scowl. The second time, the only thing that might have given you away was the flare of your nostrils. The third time, you dragged him off away from everyone to hiss viciously at him. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” 

“What?” he asked, with as much innocence on his face as he could muster. 

“Calling me fucking ‘baby?’ Why? Why would you do that?” 

“Aren’t you my baby?” 

“For fuck’s sake, Binnie! NO, you know I am not! What are you doing?” 

“You said I could play this however I liked and you also said I wouldn’t have to do anything but here I am, in your sister’s house, performing my perfect little tush off to keep your lie intact! So suck it up, baby: this is how Changbinnie dates!” 

You rolled your eyes and swore under your breath once more. 

“So you mean to say that you’re going to make this as painfully cringe-worthy as possible and embarrass us both?” 

“Both? Oh, I’m not embarrassed!” 

He didn’t wait for your comeback to that one and strode back into the kitchen, leaving you quietly seething but not yet regretting sticking to your lie. You could cope with an afternoon of this.  

Which is what you thought until you actually sat down to eat and Changbin made you stick to your word and serve him first. It was almost impossible to do it with a smile on your face – you were sure you resembled some kind of grotesque, with a rictus grin and clenched teeth – but you did your best. You really tried to be sweet to him, to pretend to care that he got the best cuts and biggest pieces of meat, that you were happy for him to take the last dumpling from your plate.  

You were sweating from the effort of it. You have never wanted to leave your sister’s house more. You felt suffocated. Hot. Uncomfortable. Embarrassed. Your parents were there; they also had to think it was real and you hadn’t considered the implications of him meeting the parents until it was too late. Suddenly, this felt serious.  

You had thought it would be easy pretending that you and Changbin were together because... well, you did spend a lot of your time together as it was. You were close. You were so close that it was what got you into this mess in the first place! If you already acted enough like a couple for your sister (who barely ever saw past her own nose) to see it, then the job was already done – you had thought.  

You had underestimated Changbin. Of course you had. His mischief, his love of performance, his inability to not do something that he knew would stitch you up in some manner. They all combined into what was sure to become your absolute worst nightmare and there was no one to blame but yourself.  

You were just going to have to find a way out of it and quick. 

* * * 

“Changbin! How nice to see you again!” Hanbyeol crowed the next week when you dragged him along for a second time.  

“Of course! The food last week was so good, Hanbyeol, I had to come.” 

She actually blushed. 

“Please, Changbin, call me Hani.” 

You rolled your eyes; she was too easily flattered and Changbin was a little shit.  

You hadn’t planned to make him come again. You would have preferred that he didn’t. But... Well, your sister just knew how to press your buttons. She had expressed her surprise at your apparently real relationship with Changbin, even uttering the words ‘I didn’t really believe you.’ She had then proceeded to lecture you on how to behave in a relationship and warn you of all your ‘usual tricks’ that apparently kept romantic partners away. You had been so thoroughly goaded that you had hung up on her and immediately dialled Changbin, telling him, in no uncertain terms, that he was  ‘coming next week even if I have to kill you and drag you there.’  

He had put up a fight, but the food really had been that good (your sister had many flaws, but cooking was not one of them) and he let his arm be twisted in far less time than before.  

He behaved in much the same way as he had but, this time, you were prepared for it. You had braced yourself. You even managed a real smile at Changbin at the dinner table, despite the fact that he, once again, ate the last dumpling from your plate. He didn’t up his game or do anything more to try to embarrass you this time – perhaps he hadn’t expected your quick adjustment; he had overestimated your temper – but you were glad for this. You had to admit (for a microsecond only) that he might actually be a good boyfriend.  

Neither of you had had any serious relationships in the time you’d been friends. When you met, your relationship was in the middle of a breakdown and your ex had moved out before you and Changbin had become firm friends. Changbin had dated, a lot, but none of them seemed to stick. Sometimes, he was sad about it; he would show up at your door with ice cream and his favourite blanket (yes, really) and you would coax the story out of him, trying not to press too hard on his bruised pride, his wounded heart. Sometimes, he chucked them before it got that far.  

You’d actually not really spoken about relationships all that much. You assumed Changbin didn’t want anything serious because he never had it. You assumed that he assumed you wanted to be single because you (mostly) were. You shared horror stories from occasional bad dates and Changbin sometimes made you pick out his outfits, but you didn’t talk about them. You didn’t talk about your fantasies and dreams, your ideal partners, ideal relationships; you didn’t talk about how much you really did want to have one. You weren’t single because you didn’t want a relationship; you were single because you didn’t know where to find one.  

You had burnt out on the apps in double-quick time and weren’t really sure where else to find anyone. You would never take up your sister’s offer to set you up, which might honestly have been cutting your nose off to spite your face because you did like Chan and she was happily married to him, but there was simply no way you would ever have been able to live with her smug self-satisfaction if she had been the one to introduce you to a life partner. And that left you with very few other options.  

* * * 

Having a fake boyfriend—who was your best friend at that—turned out to be quite a lot of fun. You did all the same things you usually did, plus handholding when in public and tolerating whatever cutesy baby-talk Changbin threw at you during your family lunches. That was easy.  

Your friends were outraged when you told them. Not because they opposed the union but because you hadn’t told them before. They went back through your friendship with a fine-toothed comb, pointing out signs and hints that they had known ‘all along’ that you were into each other. 

There were no signs. There were no hints. Because you weren’t into each other. But you let them have their fun because it helped sell the lie you were trying to peddle.  

* * *  

“Sister,” your sister began, on the phone to you almost two weeks after your second lunch. 

“What, sister?” you replied, already unamused. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t like Hani. She just... rubbed you the wrong way. A lot.  

“You and Changbin should come on a double date with us.” 

“What?” 

“A double date. Me and Channie; you and Changbin.” 

“Ugh.”  

You didn’t have a much more articulate response than that. Really? Why? Why did she always have to suggest these things? Why did she need to be so nosy? So many of the thoughts that stuck in your brain when it came to your sister began with the word: why. 

“Why?” you asked, already trying to think of excuses not to go.  

“What do you mean why? It’d be perfect! Channie and Changbin are friends; you and I are sisters; we all already know each other! You’re always such a spoilsport!” 

“But Binn- Changbin and I have already been for lunch twice; that’s basically the same.”  

You had stopped referring to him as Binnie since you had starting ‘dating’ him. You had deliberately not thought about why that was. 

“It’s not the same at all! Lunch is casual and boring! Our parents are there! We should go on a real date, have some fun!” 

“Maybe your relationship needs a fun injection but mine doesn’t.” 

You could see her rolling her eyes, hear the stomp of her foot on the floor. 

“Kim Mikyong,” your sister said and needed to say no more. When she full-named you, you knew it meant she wasn’t taking no for an answer, and you had given up fighting her on it because she showed surprising restraint in using it.  

You sighed. 

“When do you want to go?” 

“Ah! Perfect! I’ll ask Channie and get him and Changbin to set it up! It’s going to be so much fun!” 

She hung up without bothering to say goodbye and you looked at the phone in displeasure. You didn’t even know if Changbin would agree to it. It had taken so much coaxing to get him to lunch.  

And this was going to be so much worse. 

* 

But you’d been wrong before.  

Changbin lived two floors above you and, shortly before half-six, he was knocking at your door to pick you up for your date—your double date. 

You opened the door and surprise swallowed your greeting. He looked good. He looked like he’d put effort in. You remembered the outfit from one of the times he’d asked your advice; he’d worn this outfit on a date before. Your first instinct was to be peeved that he was recycling an outfit for your date. Then you remembered that you were only pretending to be together. And then you thought, actually, that maybe it was sweet he had put together a Date Outfit for the occasion.  

You’d put on a dress and everything, too.  

“You look nice,” he said, still standing in your doorway. 

“Thank you,” you replied sincerely. “So do you.” 

It was quiet in the lift as you descended, and you jumped a little when Changbin took your hand as you left the building. He looked at you, quizzical. 

“Sorry, just forgot what we were doing for a second.” 

“Hey, I’m happy not to hold your hand, but this was your rule.” 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine; it’s good. I mean, we should. It’s safer. We should. I just- I just forgot; surprised me.” 

You squeezed his hand in yours, because it was there to squeeze, and you realised you felt nervous. Your sister had been right: this was different. Lunch was casual. This wasn’t. You tried to remember how your sister had previously acted on double dates, but she hadn’t been able to get you on one since you were with your ex and that was a long time ago now.  

You wondered how Changbin would act. He had been so keen to play the game and embarrass you up until now; would tonight be the same? He seemed normal so far, but he didn’t have his audience yet. And everyone was still sober.  

* 

Your sister cooed and stretched across the table to you and Changbin, grabbing your hand and his forearm and giving a squeeze. 

“Oh, I’m just so happy!” she exclaimed, and you could tell by the way she scrunched her nose as she smiled that she was in one drink too deep. “I want you two to be so happy! Aren’t they happy, Channie?”  

He grinned at his wife and nodded before turning towards you.  

“Are you happy?” 

You shrugged which was very clearly the wrong answer. 

“Mikyong!” Hani hit the table with her palm.  

You shrugged again. 

“What?! What do you want us to say? I’m not going to fucking rhapsodise about it at the dinner table!” 

That was a mistake. You’d have seen it coming one bottle of soju ago and you wouldn’t have set foot in that trap. 

“Then I will!” Changbin said, tossing back his maekju, punctuating the end of his sentence with the thunk of the glass on the table.  

You groaned, inwardly and then out loud. Changbin turned to look at you, a sweet, shit-eating grin on his face. 

“I feel honestly amazed,” he began, his eyes widening in what you knew he hoped your sister would take for some kind of wonder or awe. “It seems so weird that we didn’t see it before.” He took your hand, and you clenched your teeth so hard your jaw hurt. “It feels so natural to be together, y’know? I’m more than happy! I’m comfortable and content; being with your best friend is the greatest thing in the world.” 

Hani cooed for so long, you worried she’d run out of breath. She held a hand to her heart, and you almost thought you saw tears in her eyes. She could give Changbin a run for her money in the dramatics department. You didn’t see Chan’s reaction because he hid his face taking a drink. Changbin had promised, as part of the rules, not to tell anyone else and you trusted him, but Chan would be the person he’d tell. Which worried you. Because you could fool your sister; your sister was a fool. Chan wasn’t.  

* 

You kicked Changbin as you got up from the table and made sure you walked behind your sister and brother-in-law so you could punch him in the arm for good measure. 

“What the fuck was that?” you hissed, face hot with alcohol and anger. 

“What was what?” 

“That disgusting little speech you gave! ‘Oh, it feels so natural! I’m so content!’. Are you fucking kidding me?” 

Changbin chuckled and nuzzled his nose into yours. 

“Oh, baby, don’t you feel the same? You’re going to break my heart!” 

“Shut the fuck up! How am I supposed to break us up when you say shit like that?” 

He shrugged. 

“I believe that is your problem. Besides which, you promised I’d come out smelling of roses so I can say as much saccharine, embarrassing crap as I like and you can just ditch me like the cruel and heartless being you are. Problem solved.” 

“And you want everyone to pity you for having your soft heart broken by me? Because that’s what’ll happen! They’ll ooh and ah and ‘poor Binnie’ you for weeks. And how are we supposed to continue being friends if you’re that heartbroken?” 

You could tell by his silence that he was annoyed to not have a quick retort. 

“See? You’re trying to embarrass me and make me squirm and yeah, it fucking works, but you’re also prolonging this! You’re making it harder than it has to be!” 

“Oh, whatever!”  

* 

The four of you stood on the subway, going in the same direction for at least part of the way home. Hani and Chan only had eyes for each otherour sister claimed they were ‘still newlyweds!’ but you didn’t think that, after over a year of marriage, she had any right to do so. You were glad that they were busy being moony-eyed at each other; it meant you and Changbin could relax a little, finally out from underneath the scrutiny of the pair. You weren’t holding hands, but you leant a little against his solid body, letting him support you as the train twisted and jostled you.  

You wouldn’t have cared—wouldn't even have been looking--a few drinks ago but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the two of them. Envy grew like mould in your heart. You were happy for your sister, of course you were, but you wanted that. You wanted it for yourself. You wanted someone to look at you the way Chan was looking at Hani right now. You wanted marriage. You wanted that happily ever after shit that you knew didn’t really exist, at least not like in all the stories. But you wanted someone to believe it. Wanted someone to promise it to you even if it was beyond their power to enforce.  

It made you bristle, made you annoyed. At anyone. Everyone. Hani. Chan. Changbin. Yourself. You’d made this bed. It wasn’t as if you had been dating anyway, but now you had removed that as an option; you couldn’t even try to find what your sister had and it was all your own fucking fault. You watched as Hani took hold of the lapel of Chan’s jacket and lifted onto her tiptoes to press a giggly kiss to his mouth; you didn’t manage to hold back the scoff, didn’t manage not to roll your eyes.  

Your sister rolled hers in return and tutted. 

“What, Miki? I can’t kiss my husband?” 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“Your face says it all. Kiss your own boyfriend, why don’t you? And stop looking at mine.” 

“He’s not your boyfriend.” 

“No, he’s my husband and you’ll never get one if you keep going around on dates with a face like that.” 

“Hey,” Changbin says, smiling beneficently, “I like her sour, ugly face.” 

You punched him hard on his left pec and he ‘oof’ed quietly but it didn’t stop him smiling.  

“Yeah?” Hanbyeol challenged. “That’s a face you want to kiss, huh? Really? Don’t believe you.” 

Changbin reflected her challenge in his eyes as he looked down at you.  

“Maybe I don’t want to kiss him,” you spat, glaring at your sister, ignoring Changbin’s offer.  

“Oh, Mikyong, you are a bitter old maid, you bitch. Let your boyfriend kiss you if he wants!”  

Did he want? 

Your heart was beating faster than you’d have liked. Your mouth went dry when you finally turned to Changbin to acquiesce. This hadn’t been part of the deal. Did he really want to do this? You didn’t. This was weird. It would be weird! How could you pull this off? It was your first kiss! Changbin was about to kiss you for the first time! His face was leaning down! He was really going to do it! How could you let him get this close? How can you pull away without ruining everything? What should you-! 

His lips were soft and the kiss was gentle. Lasted no more than a second. It took longer for you to come around from it, your mouth pouting and open, looking at Changbin as if you were lost and he would show you where to go. He lifted one side of his mouth in a lopsided grin and winked. 

That broke the spell.  

“Happy now?" you asked your sister, your ‘ugly, bitter old maid’ face back on-screen. 

She rolled her eyes, good-naturedly.  

“Whatever, Miki. You are so easy to tease.”  

She said it all looking dreamily at her husband and it made your stomach drop. She only had eyes for him. He only had eyes for her. You were desperately trying not to look at your ‘boyfriend.’ You didn’t know where he was looking.  

* 

You got off the train a few stops later, leaving Chan and Hani on it. You were itching to be by yourself. You had to process what had happened. Changbin had kissed you. Kissed you. Sure, he was goaded into it; he did it because your sister told him to. But he still did it. You didn’t know how you felt about it. After just ten minutes, you were starting to believe it hadn’t even happened, that you had somehow imagined it. Because you and Changbin didn’t kiss. Even though you were pretending to be together. You didn’t kiss. That didn’t happen. 

Changbin walked you to your door when you reached your floor and you turned in the doorway, looking at him as sour as you’d ever been. 

“Going to try to kiss me goodnight?” you asked, jeering and hating yourself for it.  

Changbin looked at you, a little hurt, a little annoyed, a little fucking tired of your prickly temper.  

“No,” was his simple reply.  

You didn't say anything back, but he didn’t leave, so you each stood in silence, one either side of your doorway. You knew he wanted to say something as mean-spirited as you had; you knew he was better than that so he wouldn’t. 

He turned his body slightly away, as if to leave, and then looked at you, mostly just sad, you thought. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. We haven’t talked about that; we haven’t agreed anything on that. I just thought you’d want to show your sister. Prove it or something. So I’m really sorry. I’ll see you later.” 

He was walking away and you could taste something bitter in your mouth: your own temper, your impatience with people, your totally unfair expectations of people that were better than you but liked you anyway.  

Steeling yourself and clenching your fists, you followed after him. 

“Changbin,” you called softly, prompting him to turn around.  

You took his hand in both of yours. 

“I’m sorry, too. Sorry I’m such a bitch. The kiss was fine. Thank you. It was good. Probably necessary; I don’t know. Thanks. I guess. Sorry.”  

Changbin just laughed and pulled you into a rib-squeezing hug. 

“You are so fucking stupid.” 

He was very, very right. 

* * * 

Changbin knocked at your door and entered your apartment with far less cheer than he might normally. You hadn’t spoken about the kiss since it happened and there had been no repeats of it. Things had fallen back into your new normal ‘friends who are pretending to be more than friends’ sham. 

“What’s wrong with you?” 

He sat on your sofa and looked up at you, still serious. 

“Remember how you asked me for a favour?” 

You asked him for lots of favours but you immediately knew which he was referring to. 

“Yes.” 

“Remember how you said it’d be over quickly?” 

“... Yes.” 

You did not like the direction this was heading in, but he was owed, you knew that, so you determined to meet your fate with grace. 

“Remember how the very night you asked I had a date?” 

“Yes.” 

“Remember how long ago that was?” 

“... A month?” 

He hummed and nodded.  

“I was going to have sex that night, but I didn’t get to. Why?” 

“Because I made you cancel so you could fake-date me.” 

“Exactly. Know what that means?” 

You couldn’t see where he was heading because- well, you could see, but you didn’t really know what the favour was going to be. You weren’t sure you wanted to find out.  

“Uh, I don’t know.” 

“It means it’s been well over a month since I last had sex. Because of you.”  

“I’m sorry?” 

He chuckled and his face brightened. 

“I don’t want you to be sorry, babe-”  

You had long stopped flinching at the terms of endearment as they leaked into your non-fake-dating time, too. If Changbin had noticed, he didn’t let on, but you were aware every time he called you anything other than your name.  

“-I’m just saying. Aren’t you bothered? It’s not like you’ve been getting any either.” 

You shrugged. 

“No. I guess I’m not that bothered? I don’t know; I’ve been longer without. A month isn’t exactly that long. And it’s not like there aren’t ways to entertain myself.” 

“Don’t you get bored of that though?” 

You laughed. 

“Did you really come here for masturbation tips?” 

The tightened curl of his lips and aversion of his eyes told you he was embarrassed and he was never embarrassed. 

“No,” he answered pointedly. “I actually came to suggest that we have sex.” 

“What?!”  

The shock brought you out of your chair. He could not be serious. 

“What?” he returned. “We’re already fake-dating! Why not make a bit of it real? It doesn’t have to mean anything. Except both of us getting some... release. Relief. Call it stress relief! From the stresses of pretending to be dating. It’ll make the pretence easier, too, since it doesn’t seem like you are going to actually break us up anytime so-” 

“I am! I am! I’m working on it...”  

You couldn’t help the whine that crept into your tone. You were working on it. Or at least, you had been. It was too difficult. How could you find a way for your relationship to end and for you to remain friends at the end of it? And with each day that passed, it got harder, because your ‘relationship’ had gone on longer. And everyone was expecting it was getting more and more serious – especially as it was built on the foundation of your very solid, very real friendship.  

“Ok and while you work on it, we could be having sex.” 

“Changbin...” 

He regarded you carefully and you looked back, hoping you looked as pathetic as you felt.  

“You don’t have to say yes. I won’t take it personally. I just... I honestly just really want to get laid and you are the only person I’m allowed to have sex with at the moment. So you’ve really stitched me up here.” 

You sank down next to him on the sofa and laid your head on his shoulder. 

“I am sorry. I really didn’t mean for it to go on this long. I didn’t mean to stitch you up. It’s kind of got out of hand--. I actually didn’t mean to create this mess at all. My sister sometimes just brings out the worst in me.” 

“Yeah,” Changbin replied, patting your knee. “Family can do that.”  

There was a brief lull and then Changbin slapped his own thighs and stood. 

“Well, if you don’t want to have sex, I’m out of here.” 

“I didn’t say that!” 

He raised an eyebrow at you, and you were furious that your cheeks had the audacity to warm. You were a grown woman; he was a grown man. You should at least be able to talk about sex. You did talk about it! You had discussed it! 

But it was different when it was this – the two of you having it. Together. There was a line there. And he may have made some good points (you weren’t getting any; as long as you were pretending to date each other, you couldn’t sleep with anyone else; it would make the pretence easier), but suggesting it didn’t have to mean anything? Surely it meant something. It had to mean something! Friends didn’t just fuck their friends. That never worked. It always made things weird.  

Weirder than they already were? Wasn’t it already weird that you pretended to be together whenever you saw any of your friends, any of your family? Wasn’t it already weird that Changbin was so used to calling you ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ and god knew what else that he said even when you were alone? Wasn’t it already weird that you didn’t hesitate anymore, that the words ‘I have a boyfriend’ fell from your lips without your even having to try? Wasn’t it already weird that you were... getting used to this? Enjoying it even?  

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to. I also didn’t say I did. I don’t know. Don’t you feel like it would be weird?” 

He shrugged. 

“Maybe. Kind of too horny to care.” 

“Seo Changbin!” 

“What?! I'm being honest!” 

“I’ll think about it, ok?” 

“Sure. No pressure. I mean it.” 

“I know.” 

You did know. You would trust him with your life, and he was the softest little goober you’d ever met. That he might pressure you was not your concern at all.  

* 

You were true to your word: you thought about it. On and off over the next couple of days you thought about it. How much further over the line was it, really? You held hands. You had already kissed, a little. Ok, once. Was sex really such a leap? It would lend a lot of credence to this stupid lie you were both living. And you would get to have sex.  

But it would be with Changbin. What if he was bad at it? What if you discovered you were bad? What if his dick was weird? What if he liked stuff you hated? Or vice versa? You didn’t know if you believed that sex could be Just Sex, but, even if it could, that didn’t mean it wasn’t complicated. There were factors. A lot of them.  

A week and a half later, you thought you were experiencing déjà vu when Changbin entered your apartment again, asking for a favour. 

“Sex again?” you asked as you shut the door behind him. 

“Not exactly. It’s more embarrassing.” 

You did not attempt to hide your glee. 

“I love it; please ask immediately.” 

“Last time I asked about sex, you implied that you didn’t get bored getting yourself off. I’m asking, how? ‘Cause I’m looking at my hand like it’s my fucking enemy at this point.” 

You laughed. 

“Do not laugh!” he shouted. “I’m in actual need. I’m in agony. Please. Tell me how to make it more interesting for myself.” 

“I mean... Firstly, we have different parts, so my experience is not directly applicable to you. Secondly, how can you be that bored? Have you seriously never gone this long without sex in your adult life?” 

He shrugged but you recognised the look on his face: the one where he tried to hide a smug, gloating, little grin.  

“Are you seriously telling me you haven’t gone more than two months without sex?” 

“I haven’t had to!” 

“Oh my god.” 

You were in half a mind not to help, feeling like it might somehow expose you as undesirable, because you had been more than two months without; two months was currently very much in your rear-view mirror at that point.  

“Well,” you began, leading him into your bedroom, “for a start, if you’re only using your hand, then you are in for a treat. An entire world awaits you.” 

You knelt down next to your bedside cabinet and gathered all your toys, laying them out on the bed with a flourish. Changbin looked a little overawed.  

“That’s a lot of stuff.” 

“Yeah and you know you have to use them all at once?” 

For a second, he believed you and his eyes grew as wide as you had ever seen them before he scowled at you. 

“Shut the fuck up. I came to you for help. You owe me.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m just teasing. Now, like I said, a lot of these won’t be applicable to you, or might be but I cannot vouch for any kind of pleasure or satisfaction because most were designed for vulvas and vaginas and not penises.” 

“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” 

“Oh, now who’s teasing?! You want help or not?!” 

“I do! Sorry! Fine, carry on.” 

“Ok, well, this,” you held up a rather unwieldy, slightly inelegant thrusting toy, “is my favourite. It does not look sexy but it sure as shit feels it. The problem with the others-” you gave a sweep of your hand over a few other insertables on the bed- “is that I have short arms and sometimes I just can’t get the angle I need and keep a firm grip on them, right? Which is why this one is so good.”  

You stopped yourself just as you were about to- to what? Demonstrate? You put it back down on the bed in a hurry. 

“Ok, well, I don’t need anything like that.” 

“No?” 

“I top.” 

“Right. Ok.” 

You lifted another, much smaller toy. 

“That looks like something you’d use to clean your face.” 

“I cannot recommend it for that. If you want to get someone to squirt though, she’s your man.” 

Changbin looked surprised. 

“Ever made anyone squirt?” you asked, not sure if he would answer. 

He shook his head. 

“No, me neither... Except myself. With this. I’m not saying it’s guaranteed but she knows how to get the job done, y’know?” 

“Huh.” 

He took it from you, examining it as if he could learn its secrets from looks alone.  

“It’s a suction toy,” you clarified. “Works on the clit. Sucks. Hard. Not entirely sure what you might get out of it, but y’know, if you want to give it a try...”  

You laughed, feeling a little heat on your cheeks. It was both exceptionally weird and very not weird to be talking to Changbin like this.  

“Isn’t that weird?” he asked, looking at the toy in his hand like it was a live grenade. “To use your sex toys?” 

You shrugged. 

“They’re clean if that’s what you mean.” 

“Wasn’t suggesting they aren’t. It’s just... Isn’t that kind of intimate?” 

You hadn’t thought about it before, but he had a point. And the more you thought about it, the more intimate it seemed. These toys, all of them, had been used on you, had brought you to climax over and over again in the time you’d owned them. They knew your secrets; you were exposing your secrets to Changbin by even showing them to him. If he used them, too? A shiver like ice water slipped down your spine.  

But he was the one who had previously suggested you have sex. This was less intimate than that, right? 

You shrugged. 

“It’s just a thing, really,” you replied, even though it wasn’t at all what you thought. You moved the conversation on quickly. “I guess you’re not interested in butt plugs if you don-” 

“I didn’t say that.” 

You looked at his face but he was looking at the spread on your bed, his eyes roving across the row of plugs on the right.  

“Ever used one?” you ventured, a little tentatively, not sure if it would constitute a slight to suggest he had or hadn’t.  

He shook his head and you noticed the tips of his ears redden. 

“I probably don’t need to tell you to go careful,” you began, taking a few of the options away, the ones that were too big, a little too intimidating for a first-timer. “But you should go careful. Start small, start smooth. And never, ever insert anything without a ba-” 

“Yeah, I know!” 

His ears were redder now. He still had your suction toy in his hand and you could see how tightly his fist was clenched around it. It confused you because Changbin couldn’t possibly be that embarrassed. Could he? 

Silence fell and you weren’t sure what to say. Should you tell him which one to pick? Did you have to advise him how to use it? How could you do that when you had no idea the sort of things he liked? You wiggled your toes in your socks and tipped up lightly onto them before bringing your heels back down. 

“Ok,” you began slowly when it was clear he wasn’t going to speak. You picked up a little purple plug, soft silicone, bubbles of increasing size. You handed it to him and shrugged. “Give something like that a try. See how you like it.” 

Changbin didn’t look at you. He looked at the plug. He put the suction toy back down on the bed and continued to look at the small, beaded rod in his hand. 

“Uh,” you continued. “Ever used a cock ring?”  

He let out a comically enraged cry and stalked from your bedroom. 

“Bye!” he called, not looking back as he pulled open your front door and let it slam shut behind him. 

“Hey!” you shouted after him, catching his arm just as he walked out your front door.  

He stopped and turned. 

“You know the internet exists, right? Wouldn’t that have been less embarrassing than coming here and asking me?” 

He scowled, let out another anguished shout and stalked off. 

You laughed because you had to laugh, because he could have just used the internet—it would have been quicker, easier, less embarrassing, and probably more helpful. But he didn’t. He came to you and asked for your secrets. You didn’t know what that meant.  

There were nerves fluttering in your stomach that made you feel awkward and self-conscious. It felt like a line had been crossed somewhere. Not a bad line? But a line nonetheless.  

You returned to your bedroom and surveyed your collection left on your bed and wondered if you might take a few for a spin yourself. You decided not to. Changbin was in your head and if there was one person in the world you did not want to be thinking about, it was him.  

* * * 

You tried not to think about it anymore. Sex. Changbin. Any thoughts that involved either sex or Changbin. Nothing that strayed into that territory. It was a hornet’s nest, you’d decided. Nothing good could come from opening that can of worms. He could use each and every single one of your toys if he wanted but not your body. No. No. Nope. 

But you were having trouble focusing your mind. You were ovulating and this month in particular was being a real fucker. Your body was punishing you for being single. It was sick and tired of preparing a baby house and having you not put a baby in it. It was doing its damnedest this month to make it happen. 

You were out of your mind horny.  

You were beginning to sympathise with Changbin. You were, unfortunately and no matter how much you tried not to, thinking about his offer. His request. You were thinking about doing him, and yourself, that favour he’d asked.  

It couldn’t be that bad, could it? It could be good. He’d made some fair points. And you were curious now, you had to admit. You’d not, before this whole fake-dating thing, given much thought to how Changbin fucked, but your curiosity had been piqued. You hadn’t had your butt plug returned and you could only assume that meant he was enjoying it, though he hadn’t confirmed either way. You wondered if you could entice him to spice things up a little more. You wondered what he did. What he sounded like. What he- 

“Fuck!”  

You slammed your hands down on your desk and took a deep breath. You were not supposed to be thinking about this. You were supposed to be—you moved your mouse to wake your monitor—creating yet another tedious spreadsheet.  

You: you working rn? 

Bin: no. gym 

You: later? 

Bin: come over after work 

‘Oh good’, you thought to yourself sourly, ‘that gives me four more hours of this. I’ve got to stew on this for four fucking hours before I can even broach the topic.’ 

The thought made you sick. You didn’t examine why. You worked for five more minutes, messaged your manager to say you weren’t feeling well and logged off.  

Then you left your apartment and went down to the gym. 

* * * 

You were having a great day. A fantastic day, in fact. That was what you were telling yourself. Because you were about to hit a new deadlift PR and that made it fantastic, as long as you ignored everything else going on in your life. Which is exactly what you were doing. 

You were looking down at the bar on the floor, heavily loaded, and you were talking to it nicely. You were a team: you, the bar, the weights on either end of it. You were a team, and you were going to do this thing together.  

You took a deep breath, taking no notice of the guy a few metres away who was watching you. You didn’t care about him. You never cared about men in the gym because the gym was yours. And no two-bit, ’roided-out gym bro was ever going to put you off your stride. And certainly not today. Let him watch. You’d show him.  

You adjusted your feet and shook out your hands before placing them on the bar. You favoured a mixed grip. You got into position, took a breath in, braced your core, and lifted.  

It flew. 

This was not a weightlifting gym, or anything close to that; it was the gym in your apartment building that came ‘free’ with your exorbitant rent, so you had to carefully lower the weights back to the floor. Then you allowed yourself a loud, crowing whoop and a double fist-pump. 

You stood straight, victorious, not even trying to hide the grin on your face and, when you tuned back into the world, the man who had been watching you was clapping. You whipped around to face him, assuming the worst, assuming he was patronising you or mocking you, but he grinned brightly at you. 

“PR?” he asked.  

You nodded dumbly.  

“Nice one. Congrats. You made it look easy.” 

He smiled and nodded once at you and then turned back to his own workout: a push day, it looked like, as he sat down on an inclined bench and lifted two enormous dumbbells to his shoulders. 

Huh. 

That was nice. You didn’t have many nice interactions with men at the gym. Men like him anyway. He was big, hulking, probably bulking given the softness of his skin on his arms, the fit of his tight T-shirt. You’d noticed him before, once or twice; he must live in the building to be using the gym but there were hundreds of people living here so that didn’t help much. He lifted heavy and kept to himself. That was really all you knew. 

It distracted you somewhat from your victory, this guy. This nice guy who might actually have been normal. You turned back to the bar and tried to get back in the zone, remember just what you were doing. But that had been it. You were going to PR the fuck out of this lift and then stretch yourself into oblivion.  

It was only when you were moving to the free area, walking past him, that you realised you hadn’t responded when he congratulated you. 

“Thanks, by the way,” you said as you passed, timing it carefully so you wouldn’t take him by surprise with 20 kilos above his head.  

He smiled again. 

“You’re welcome. You’re not trying for more?”  

He nodded to rack, where you’d put everything away. You shook your head. 

“Quitting while I’m ahead.” 

“Well, you really did make it look easy. I reckon you’ve got more in you.” 

He meant with regards to deadlifting. He meant he thought you could probably take another five kilos, or maybe even ten, but it was exactly the sort of thing you needed to hear at that moment and a lump formed in your throat. It took you off-guard and you felt your cheeks heat. You just nodded and moved quickly to the floor where you put yourself in child’s pose to hide your face.  

You focused on counting your breaths and moving slowly between stretches. You didn’t look his way again when you left. You returned home, sat heavily on your sofa and cried. 

* 

That had been your first interaction with Changbin. And for a while it was your only interaction. Your workouts didn’t overlap and you didn’t see him in the corridors. 

Then you walked into the gym on a grey, cold November morning, barely awake and not looking forward to exercise. There were a few others there already: a much older man walking slowly on the treadmill, a very bendy woman working through some yoga on the mats, and that guy. The one from your deadlift PR.  

You were pleased to see him, though you couldn’t have said why. He had, technically, made you cry. Even though it wasn’t anything at all to do with him and everything to do with your relationship falling apart around you and your self-worth being at rock bottom and your absolute desperate need for a win, even a tiny win, anything.  

Still, it was nice to see him again.  

You took to a treadmill to try to shake off your sleep and then moved slowly through an upper body workout. Everyone always said they hated leg day but you? You hated arms; you hated chest; you hated back and shoulders; you hated pushing and pulling. What you wouldn’t have given for squats that frosty morning.  

You had just placed your dumbbell onto the floor with an unforgiving thud, setting your timer for a 30-second rest when he approached you.  

“I’m so sorry to interrupt,” he began, and he did sound it, “do you have just a minute to spot me?” 

You couldn’t answer immediately. You? He wanted you to spot him? He could probably bench you; how on earth would you be any good to him? 

“Me?” you asked. “Are you... sure?” 

He just looked towards the old man on the treadmill (yoga woman was already finished and out of the gym) and shrugged. You giggled and stood. 

“I’ll do my best.” 

“Thank you!” 

You followed him to the squat rack and tried to do your quickest maths to calculate the weight he was attempting. You grimaced internally; that would break your fucking back. But you didn’t want to make him feel nervous or to knock any of his confidence, so you pretended you were confident, too, offering up your arms as he lodged himself beneath the bar. You kept your hands hovering as he stepped back, as he lowered, as he pushed up.... It was shaky and slow and you were genuinely worried for a second that you would have to really do something, but he made it. He took two steps forward, dumped the bar on the rack and let out a cry that was far too loud for the hour.  

You laughed. 

“PR?” 

He grinned. 

“You know it.” 

“I wish I could say you made it look easy but...” 

He laughed, properly laughed, and shook his head. 

“Why are you trying to ruin this moment for me?” 

You laughed in return and introduced yourself. 

“I’m Miki.” 

“Changbin,” he offered in return, holding his hand out for you to shake. 

* 

And that had been that. Somehow, though you didn’t quite know how, your workouts began to coincide more and more; you began to chat between sets; he continued to ask you to spot him despite knowing that you could do no such thing. Then one day you asked him to hang out outside the gym.  

Now you couldn’t shake him. Even if you’d wanted to. Which you didn’t. Never had.  

* * * 

You could literally feel yourself salivate as you watched him lift and you could not believe yourself to be such a basic, animal being. Humans were supposed to be above all that ‘in heat’ stuff, but apparently you weren’t. You were watching him—leg day, beautiful leg day—deadlift, watching him hinge, watching the tension on his face, the pump in his quads.... You had officially crossed the line into creepy, but you couldn’t help it. 

You were hot. Literally, physically too warm.  

“Binnie!” you shouted, striding across the room to him. It had slipped out, the first time in two months you’d referred to him as something other than ‘Changbin’. You didn’t even notice. 

He looked at you, confused. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Couldn’t wait until tonight. I need to talk to you.” 

“Is everything ok?” 

You shrugged, as if this was casual. As if you were about to say something normal to him. 

“Everything’s fine, but...” You scanned the room to make sure it was empty. “Look, I’m here to take you up on your offer.” 

The confusion did not leave his face. 

“Offer?” 

You shrugged again. 

“Favour, request, whatever. I want to have sex.” 

His mouth dropped open and he blinked twice before his brows furrowed again. 

“What?” 

“You heard! I want to have sex!” You whispered it, hissed it even, despite the empty room. It was embarrassing to be asking. 

“Ok,” Changbin shrugged. 

You had been expecting a fight, you now realised. You had thought he would protest a little – not necessarily against the sex itself but the fact that he had already asked and you’d turned him down. You thought his ego might make him string it out a little, make you work for it.  

“Ok, so are you finished here?” 

There was the surprise you were after. 

“Now?” 

“Yes, now!” 

“I’m- I’m at the gym!” 

“So finish.” 

“Well, I...” 

“I’ll wait if you really haven’t finished your workout.” 

Taken aback by the turn of events, Changbin looked a little dazed and nodded. 

“I only have a couple of sets left,” he said and you nodded. 

“Cool, I’ll wait for you upstairs. My place?” 

He shrugged, looking as if he had no idea what the right answer was.  

But it had to be your place. It had to be on your ground, not for a home advantage but... something like that. Somewhere you felt in control. Somewhere you felt comfortable. Somewhere you knew exactly what your bed was like and where the condoms were.  

You decided to take the stairs, initially, because you had energy to burn. Then you realised that tiring yourself before the sex was an even stupider idea than the sex itself, so you opened the door at the top of the next flight of stairs and used the lift.  

Bin: gonna shower. Be there in 15? 

You: no come now. 

Bin: ??? 

You: what? 

Bin: I'm sweaty 

You: so? 

When he didn’t reply again, you assumed he was ignoring you and showering anyway, but then you heard the beep of your keypad and the door opened.  

“Can I just ask,” he began, no greeting, “before we do this... What the fuck has got into you?” 

“What?” 

“You were not exactly up for it when I asked about it and now you’re skipping work to fuck me? You’re not even letting me shower?” 

Your face heated with embarrassment, but the mere fact that you were asking for this gave the game away anyway, so was there really any shame in it? 

“I’m ovulating,” you stated, as if that would explain it.  

It would, to you. Possibly to anyone else who menstruated. Changbin looked at you wild-eyed. 

“Uh...” 

You saw his hands just barely raise at his sides, his right foot stepping backwards as if he were trying to surreptitiously retreat. 

“I’m not trying to get pregnant, you moron! I’m ovulating and that means I am out of my fucking mind with- with wanting to get laid! I am desperate.” 

“Well, you sure know how to make a man feel desired.” 

“Oh, shut up. You know the situation we’re in and you said as much to me last time: there is no one else we can fuck right now, but if I don’t fuck someone, I’m going to lose my mind.” 

“What happened to your arsenal of toys?” 

“Not the same and you know it. I just need to be fucked right now. I am desperate; don’t make me say it again!”  

You couldn’t help the impatience and frustration in your tone and you knew it wasn’t sexy, wasn’t encouraging, but there was nothing you could do about it. You were beyond help of any kind other than his cock stuffed inside you. It just happened to make you a little less nice.  

“Don’t shout at me! It’s no wonder you’re single if this is how you proposition men!” 

“This is not how I proposition men! You propositioned me first! I’m just taking you up on it!” 

“Well I’m not going to do it if you’re going to look that fucking angry the whole time!” 

“I’m not angry; I’m frustrated!” 

“Potayto, po-fucking-tah-to!” 

“Are we doing this or not?!” 

Changbin didn’t answer immediately and you swore to yourself that, if he said no, you would be fine with it. You would not explode and die right there on the floor of your living room. And you would not hate him forever. 

He jabbed a finger at you. 

“We’re doing this but you have to not be a total cunt to me the whole time.” 

You decided not to hesitate. You didn’t have the patience for taking it slow anyway but one of you had to be decisive; it would be awkward if there was hesitation and stumbling and embarrassment. He had just confirmed his agreement. He had said you were doing it. So you had to do it. Do the damn thing. You grabbed the front of his T-shirt and pulled him towards you, crashing your lips into his.  

It was nothing like the first kiss. That was gentle and short and chaste and this was everything but. Before you’d snaked your tongue into his mouth, he had hoisted you in the air. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and he carried you to the sofa and lay you down. He moaned when you sucked at his tongue and you moaned back, your hands already pulling his shirt up his chest.  

His skin was damp and sticky with sweat, salty when you put your mouth on it. You didn’t care. You liked the soft animal of his body, liked its power, liked the way it was firm under your hands, unyielding. Liked the way he could so easily have his way with you if he wanted; it’s not like you were weak yourself but Changbin was stronger and you knew you couldn’t take him in a fight. You wanted that. You wanted all that used against you right now. Not to fight but to fuck. You wanted him to fuck you so hard, you couldn’t stand. You could already feel the intense ache in your core as it radiated heat. You needed to be touched. So badly. Now that it was actually happening, you couldn’t believe you had let yourself go so long without it.  

“Binnie,” you panted, clutching the waistband of your trousers, shuffling them down, trying to discard them. “Binnie, touch me, please.” 

He responded with a nip to the delicate skin of your neck and a hand sliding down your stomach.  

“Fucking hell,” he breathed when his fingers found your wet slit. “You weren’t kidding.” 

“What?” 

“You are desperate.” 

“Shut the fuck up, Changbin,” you spat, with perhaps too much bite. 

His fingers withdrew and he leant up on his hands, looking down at you with his brows raised. 

“You can’t ask me to touch you and then speak to me like that when I do.”  

You rolled your eyes and gave him a simpering smile. 

“Aw, does Binnie not like it when I’m not nice to him? Oh, poor Binnie,” you cooed in a baby voice. “Does Binnie like praise, huh? Want me to praise you?” 

His face hardened but he didn’t tell you it was over, that if you were going to behave like that, he’d change his mind. He didn’t say anything and you knew it was because you were right but he didn’t want to tell you. That was one benefit of sleeping with someone you knew so well. You could read him. You didn’t need him to confirm.  

But you also weren’t great at being nice. Praise was not a thing that came naturally to you. And he had said you weren’t allowed to be a total cunt to him. That was fair. You rolled your eyes. 

“Fine, I’ll be nice,” you huffed. “Promise.”  

It was Changbin who rolled his eyes then and looked as if he didn’t believe you but didn’t care either way. He lowered himself down and brought his lips to yours.  

His kiss swallowed the loud sound you made when his fingers found their way south and made their entrance. It had been too long since someone else had got you off. Way too long. You knew it from the way your walls were already spasming, your muscles tightening, your breath catching. 

“Harder,” you gasped when he let your mouth go. “Harder, faster, please.”  

There was a minute pause in which he registered your instruction and then he complied, but it wasn’t enough. 

“Seriously,” you continued. “You don’t have to be nice to me. I want more.”  

His eyes met yours and when he raised his brows this time, your stomach swooped; it was dark and promising and there was something in his eyes that said he was going to give you everything you wanted. 

He slid another finger inside you and drew back so he could focus his other hand on your swollen clit.  

You couldn’t speak. You whimpered and keened and nodded; you clutched at Changbin’s arm and the sofa cushion; you arched your back and drew your feet in. You came with a loud cry and your body flopped backwards, your chest heaving as you got your breath back, your body shaking just a little. 

“Thanks,” you panted. 

Changbin laughed. 

“You’re welcome.” 

You pulled him closer, slipping a hand around the back of his neck to bring your face to his, to kiss him, hard, deep, indulgent.  

“Where do you keep condoms?” he broke away to ask and your mind was still dazed enough that it took you a second. You shook your head, tried to clear it, and pointed into your bathroom. Changbin moved off you and you stumbled as you got to your feet. He was rising as if to go himself, but you waved him off, sat him back down.  

The few steps between him and the bathroom gave you a second to catch your breath, to anticipate what was about to happen with a buzzing kind of glee wailing in your head (and elsewhere). You felt greedy. Insatiable. You wanted to take an entire box of condoms out there and use them all. You wanted to break yourself on him, break him, until there was nothing left of you but dust.  

You took one foil packet from the box and returned to Changbin who was still standing next to the sofa, waiting for you. His black shorts hid the damp spots of pre-cum but couldn’t hide the tent of his erection. You felt your mouth water at the thought of it. An icy streak of doubt passed through you when you realised you’d never seen it before. Never had cause to give it any thought at all. What if it was disappointing?  

Then Changbin dropped his shorts and his boxers, and you let out a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding.  

“Thank god,” you muttered under your breath, not intending for him to hear, but he cocked his head at you. 

“For what?” 

You snorted. 

“Thank god you have a nice dick.” 

He laughed and you could almost see his pride swell in the way he tucked his shoulders back and raised his head a little, the ever so slightly bashful grin that nevertheless carried a certain smugness. You had never known how he did that: vulnerability and arrogance at the same time. But then again, he was a Leo. 

You wasted no more time. You pushed him back onto the sofa, tore open the condom packet, and rolled it down his length. You held his cock as you positioned yourself over him, making yourself sink slowly. Making yourself take him inch by inch not all at once, because you would never get this first time again and you wanted to savour it. You wanted to remember exactly how he felt, his girth stretching you in a way that bordered on but didn’t cause pain.  

When he was fully sheathed, you sat your full weight on him and took his face in your hands. You kissed him, sloppy and wet and full of tongue, then slowly began to roll your hips. He groaned, squeezed at your glutes, tipped his head back and sighed. 

“Fuck, you feel amazing.”  

You nodded, but he had his eyes closed, and you remembered just exactly who it was you were dealing with.  

“You, too,” you replied. You tucked your face into his neck and keened as you adjusted your angle. You didn’t really talk much, usually. Weren’t sure what to say. Knew you had to say something. You kissed his neck to buy some time, sucking a bruise into his soft skin, tasting the salty tang of his sweat. “Fuck, Binnie,” you whispered. “So good.”  

Lame. But you didn’t have the headspace to dwell on it because it was so good. He fit you just right; you were tight and wet and hot and your legs trembled every time the head of his cock squeezed past your g-spot.  

“I’m gonna flip you,” he grunted, having noticed it, feeling the clench in your walls with each pass.  

Then without another second’s delay, he did, and you were on your back and he was drilling into you with hard, precise thrusts of his hips. You let your head tip back and your mouth hang open, just as he had only moments earlier.  

“More,” you murmured as you felt you lose yourself to it. To him. To the pleasure of it all, the pressure building, coiling like a spring. This was exactly what you had wanted. Needed. The relief of it was breath-taking and that was before the orgasm hit you.  

Then it slammed into you like a train on a track and you cried out. Your eyes squeezed shut and your muscles tensed hard and your cunt clenched tight around Changbin’s thick length. He grunted, he gasped, he cried out, too, spilling into the condom and letting the tension in his body go, just enough to relax, but not so much to crush you.  

When you opened your eyes, stars danced in front of them, the ceiling of your apartment temporarily transformed into a night-sky kaleidoscope. You brushed the hair from Changbin’s face. 

“Relax, Bin, you can’t crush me.” 

He snorted lightly and let himself put his weight onto you.  

Maybe he could crush you. But you could take it. For a moment at least.  

“Thank you,” he said, his breath coming in heavy gasps, his stomach pushing against yours with each inhale.  

You laughed breathily, your lungs buried under his weight, trapped. 

“You’re welcome.” 

He lifted his head and the look on his face was hesitant, possibly even a little shy, but you knew what he wanted because you wanted it too. You drew his face to yours and kissed him, soft and sweet, then a little less, then a little deeper, with a little more urgency, your tongue dancing with his, his teeth biting down on your lips, little moans escaping the both of you.  

It lasted longer than you had intended. So long that you wanted to go again, that you’d recovered enough to want him some more, to want seconds and even thirds. The box of condoms in your bathroom cabinet sprung into your mind and your heart quickened.  

“Hey,” you said quietly, holding his face back from yours so you could look in his eyes. “Do you want to do that again?” 

It took a second for your words to register and he didn’t reply except to bring his lips to yours once more. He twisted his body so he could rest on his forearms above you, then he put his weight onto his left side, his right hand trailing down your body as he kissed you.  

* 

“Ok, now I really have to shower,” Changbin said, standing from the sofa with a long, tired groan.  

“You can shower here if you want,” you said, twisting around to watch him get dressed.  

He smiled but shook his head.  

“No way. I’ve never known a single person who takes less care of their skin than you do. Your soap would strip me like paint thinner.” 

You snorted and rolled your eyes. 

“Whatever. My skin is just naturally soft.” 

Changbin chuckled. 

“You keep telling yourself that, babe.”  

You rose, too, as he reached the door and, without realising it was happening, he turned with his hand on the doorknob and you kissed goodbye. It wasn’t until the door was shutting after him that you realised it had happened. Was that weird?  

You didn’t have the energy for it. You showered quickly and flopped onto your sofa for an ill-advised, late-afternoon, post-coital nap. 

* * * 

The next morning, you woke late and rushed through your morning workout, your morning shower, your breakfast, and hurried out of the door to the office. You made yourself a coffee, logged into everything, and then sat staring blankly at your inbox.  

You had sex with Changbin. Twice. You hadn’t given it enough thought yesterday—not after and certainly not before. But that was crossing a line, right? Sex changed things. You had put him off the first time because you thought it would make things weird, that it would be weird. 

But it hadn’t been. It wasn’t awkward or embarrassing. It was good. So good you’d asked for it again. So good that you could still feel it in your body as you twisted vacantly from side to side on your chair. It had been good for him, too, right? He had been vocal (that much you had expected) but was that acting? 

He had been a very convincing fake boyfriend so far. Maybe it had just been a continuation of the act. 

Except it had been his idea. In the first place, anyway.  

You could feel yourself getting tangled up in knots, so you had a stern word with yourself and set up blocks on your phone so that you might be able to focus better.  

* 

The frustrating thing about it was that you couldn’t talk to anyone. You couldn’t go to any of your friends and say ‘oh my god, I slept with Changbin’ because, as far as they were concerned, you’d been sleeping together for weeks—months!—now. It couldn’t be new, couldn’t be news.  

You stopped at the shop on the way home for a bottle of wine, then you took it two floors beyond your apartment and let yourself in. 

Changbin was on his sofa, shaking a protein drink in a plastic bottle. He looked surprised to see you. 

“Look,” you began immediately, plonking the bottle onto the coffee table and retrieving two glasses from his kitchen cupboard. You placed these on the table and poured a generous glug of wine into each. “I have to talk to you and you are just going to have to go with it because I cannot talk to anyone else about this, alright?” 

“Ok.” 

You took a deep breath and blew it out sharply. 

“I slept with Changbin.” 

His eyes narrowed and he looked from side to side and back to you. 

“Uh... You know I’m Changbin, right? That’s me.” 

“Yes, I know!” you shouted, flinging your hands up, sloshing wine over the rim and onto your trousers. “But I can’t tell anyone else, can I? Because then they would know we haven’t been sleeping together! So you are the only person I can talk to! Just go with it.” Then, to let him know you actually really needed this, you added, “please.” 

“Ok.” 

“I slept with Changbin,” you repeated. 

“Right,” he started, and you could tell he wasn’t quite sure what response was the right one. “Uh, how was it?” 

“Honestly, really fucking good.” 

He grinned, his proud ego shining through, and you slapped him hard on the arm. 

“Shut up!” you hissed, even though he hadn’t said anything. “I’m saying it was good.” 

“And that’s... bad?” 

“No! ... I don’t know! I don’t know anything! Isn’t it weird? Why did we do it? Why wasn’t it weird?! Aren’t you confused?!” 

Changbin looked away for a moment and thought it over.  

“I’m not confused.”  

“You aren’t?”  

He shrugged.  

“Should I be?” 

“It doesn’t affect you at all that we slept together?” 

“Does it affect you? Affect you how?” 

“I don’t know!” you wailed.  

“It’s like I said before, we’re pretending to be dating so we can’t sleep with anyone else. It’s, what did I call it? Stress relief.” 

“You also said you were too horny to care if it was weird, but now we’ve had sex, so the... the pressure is gone, right? As in... We’ve had relief... Does that change things?” 

He shrugged again and it lit a match of frustration within you. 

“Changbin! For fuck’s sake, stop shrugging! Stop being so unbothered by this!” 

“Why do you want me to be bothered?! It sounds like you want it to be weird, to come between us, or ruin our friendship or something!-” 

“-Of course I don’t!” 

“Then why are you here insisting things have to change?” 

“I don’t know!”  

A loud thumping from the apartment next door broke the tension and you both slumped back on the sofa. You would have to stop shouting if you were going to continue this conversation because Changbin had lived here long enough for you know that that was a polite warning call.  

“If it’s made you feel uncomfortable, we don’t have to do it again,” Changbin said, his voice softer now, quieter. 

“I’m not uncomfortable. I could never be uncomfortable with you. It just... I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it. You’re right. It was just sex. And we’re just friends.” 

“Exactly.”  

“Ok.” 

You drained your wine glass and re-filled it, putting your feet up on the table as Changbin switched on the TV. He took a minute selecting something to watch (opting for a youtube video on the best mechanics of the Romanian deadlift which was not as boring as it sounds) and, once it was playing, he picked up his wine glass and asked, without looking at you. 

“But where does that leave us, exactly? Re: sex. Is it off the table?” 

You took a minute to think about it. You didn’t want to say no. Because you knew what it was like now. You knew what you’d be missing. And, if he was right, then it wouldn’t change anything between you. You could have it all. But saying yes still felt like saying something. And you weren’t sure exactly what.  

“It’s not off the table,” you answered quietly, your glass perched on your lips so you could take a drink as soon as the sentence ended. You took a gulp larger than you’d intended and tried not to choke.  

“Ok, then.”  

* * * 

It was so not off the table. It was so on the table that it almost became a permanent fixture. It seemed silly not to. You couldn’t sleep with anyone else while you were pretending to date each other and the seal was well and truly broken. It didn’t feel as though you had anything to lose, not since it became clear that it didn’t change things between you. 

If anything, it made things better.  

It was as if a barrier that you hadn’t known existed between you had dissolved. Pretending to be his girlfriend was so much easier now. You’d always felt awkward about the physicality of it: having to hold his hand, make sure you were near him, the occasional jeering pressure to kiss in front of people as if you had something to prove to them. It was easy now because you’d touched far more than just his hands, kissed him in ways that would be indecent viewed by an audience.  

“You guys seem good,” Chaeyong commented lightly from across the table.  

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. 

“Uh, we do?” 

“When did we seem bad?” Changbin asked at the same time. 

“Honestly, no one had any hope of the two of you making it,” Seungmin added. “You were always so weird with each other. We thought you might have broken up but didn’t want to tell people or something.” 

You and Changbin exchanged a quick glance and you tried not to make it obvious when you gulped and found the inside of your lip between your teeth.  

“You mean you think we were pretending to date?” Changbin asked, thoroughly convincing in his bemused scorn.  

“Fuck knows! But something was going on, for sure.” 

“But you seem normal now.” Chaeyoung smiled sweetly and she looked innocent but, truthfully, she had been your biggest concern: nothing got past her and you were worried that she was still unconvinced.  

“Gee, thanks.” 

Thank god for Changbin, who was unflappable in the face of his own deceptions.  

“We’re saying we’re happy for you, idiots,” Seungmin offered with a withering glare before turning to his other side, where apparently the conversation was of greater interest.  

You turned to Changbin with a slyly triumphant smile on your face, which he returned exactly. You didn’t stop yourself leaning forward to kiss him and he didn’t stop you either.  

* * * 

For the first few weeks of your ‘relationship’, you had genuinely spent time and effort trying to think of a way for the two of you to end it. None seemed satisfactory. You weren’t really an experienced liar (not to this extent) and they all seemed transparent, lame, obviously made-up. It was as if you had never experienced any sort of relationship before because you just couldn’t think of a reasonable way for you and Changbin to stop dating. 

Frustrated by your lack of progress on the topic, you thought of it less and less often. Then you and Changbin started sleeping together and you stopped thinking about it altogether. This situation was working out quite nicely for the both of you. All the fun parts of a relationship with none of the drawbacks.  

You were enjoying it so much, you were annoyed you hadn’t thought of it before. And it seemed like the feeling was mutual. Changbin hadn’t raised the topic of your break-up; he still called your pet names and kissed you in public.  

You had been sure, when you first suggested it, that it would be a disaster. But your desperation to get one over on your sister had been just enough to override that worry. Now, you were certain it was the best idea you’d ever had, and you were very nearly grateful to Hani for forcing it.  

“Hey,” Changbin said softly, catching your hand and dragging you away from the group.  

It was summer and the river park was busy. You had amassed a greater group of people than you’d expected – word going around to friends of friends of friends – and your absence from it would not be noticed quickly.  

Not that anyone would care if they did notice. You were a couple now; you were allowed to disappear by yourselves. 

“Have you met Sakura?” he asked.  

“Uh, yeah, Felix’s friend, right?” 

He nodded. 

“Yeah, I mean, we met today. I don’t know her. Why?” 

“She asked me out.” 

“What?! Doesn’t she know you have a girlfriend?” 

It shouldn’t have bothered you. Because you weren’t his girlfriend, not really. You didn’t have any real claim to him. In fact, this should probably have happened before now, you told yourself. Changbin was a catch; he was hot and fun and kind and, frankly, anyone would be fucking lucky to have him.  

But you had him. As far as anyone knew anyway. Hadn’t you literally been introduced to Sakura as his girlfriend earlier that day? Where the fuck did she get off asking out your boyfriend? 

Changbin shrugged again and you felt your hackles raise. 

“I guess she forgot? I don’t know.” 

“Well, why are you bringing it up to me? Obviously you said no.” 

“I said no.” 

“So why bother telling me? Are you saying you want to go out with her?” 

“I was just checking whether or not I’d ever be allowed to go out with anyone again. Y’know, if you were ever going to end this thing like you promised you would months ago?” 

You started. He hadn’t brought that up for ages. You hadn’t thought about it. You felt strongly that you should not admit to not having thought about it.  

“Of course, I’m going to end it,” you hissed. “Want me to do it right now so you can go over and tell Sakura you’ve changed your mind?” 

“Don’t overreact, Miki. This was always going to end. You specifically promised me that it would, in fact.” 

“And it will! I actually thought we were both ok with things as they were, since we’re both getting something from it, but fine. I’ll have your break-up ready for you tomorrow.” 

You didn’t wait for a response. You stalked off, too angry to notice that you were leaving your phone and your bag and everything else in the park. Too angry to turn back when you did notice. You walked, with heavy, angry footsteps, for a mile or two in the direction of your apartment which was still several miles away. Then you stopped and stood and didn’t know what to do. Your heart was still pounding, your breath coming heavily because you did not commit yourself to cardio in the way you did to lifting, and you were still shaky with anger.  

You could not turn back. The horror of the embarrassment you would feel having to return after storming off was too strong. But you couldn’t walk all the way home. You weren’t even sure exactly which way to go, having never done the journey fully on foot before. You were stranded. You knew your only option was the river. But you decided you would rather die than go back there. You would rather sleep on the street than show your face.  

You continued to stand there, waiting for your anger to fade, to be replaced by worry and, yes, embarrassment. You tried to guess what time everyone would start leaving. It was still light (such was the curse of the summer months) so it was entirely possible that some would stay late into the evening, the night even. You couldn’t stand out on the street for that long.  

“Hey.” 

You whipped around at the sound of his voice. He was five feet away. 

“What do you want?”  

You could see him biting his tongue, being the bigger person.  

“Thought you might you need this,” Changbin said, holding out your bag. 

“Whatever,” you replied, neither turning away nor reaching out for it. 

“Well, if you don’t want it...” 

He went to turn, to walk back the way he had come, but you snatched your bag from his hand. Before he could react, you put your feet to asphalt, as quickly as you could without running. 

“You’re fucking welcome!” he shouted after you. 

You were seething again, your stomach roiling, your blood boiling, sweat pricking in your hair. You walked to the nearest subway station in a kind of red haze, barely aware of your surroundings, cognisant only of your own body and its rage.  

* 

He didn’t call you the next day. 

Or the next day. 

Or the one after that.  

You wondered if that was it. If that would do it. Break you up. Was it already over? The thought pained you, but you were still angry with him. He had pulled you aside to tell you that another woman was interested in him; he had suggested he was interested in her. But he was supposed to be yours.  

He wasn’t yours. You repeated it to yourself, knowing that it should help, that it should make it not hurt, that it should make you not angry with him, that it was the truth. But it didn’t work. You couldn’t make it go away.  

He didn’t call you for a full week and you were scowling at lunch with your sister and her husband, your parents, too. Chan asked if he could speak with you. It shook you from your sour stupor and you followed him without hesitation. 

“So what’s up with you and Changbin?” he asked, casually, as if he weren’t kicking a hornet’s nest. 

“Nothing,” came your sullen reply. 

“Ok... So what’s up with you and Changbin?” 

You scowled some more and kept your mouth shut. 

“There’s obviously something going on between the two of you, and he won’t tell me what it is so I’m asking you. It sucks to see you two like this. You know how happy Hani and I were about you two getting together....” 

If you hadn’t been so self-indulgent with your week-long bad mood, you might have sensed his tone, caught the micro-expressions on his face that were giving you an opening. But you had been self-indulgent, so you missed them all.  

“If he won’t tell you, I don’t see why I should.”  

“You don’t have to tell me anything, but I thought I would ask you myself before I tell your sister.” 

He had your full attention now.  

“What do you mean tell my sister?” 

“I mean tell her that I’m worried that something has happened between the two of you. You’re fighting or not speaking or somethin-” 

“How do you know that?” 

“Because I know both of you? Changbin has been out of sorts all week and you have barely touched your food, barely uttered a word except to be as horrible to your sister as you’ve ever been.” 

Chan never told you off. He never told anyone off. You felt chastened and shamed but that only fuelled your anger.  

“Fine, I’ll go.” 

“That’s not what I said.” 

“I’m clearly not wanted here if I’m so horrible to your precious, little wife-” You saw the way his jaw clenched and you knew that he would kick you out himself if you said much more; it felt good, pushing that button. Made you feel like you had a little bit of control, a little bit of power. “As if I ever gave a shit about her anyway. I only come to these stupid lunches because my parents make me. I hate coming. I hate Hani. I hate you. And I fucking hate Changbin!” 

Chan said nothing. He looked at you with dark, furious eyes and took hold of your elbow. He escorted you carefully to the front door, waited while you put on your shoes, handed you your things, and shut the door firmly behind you.  

You wished you could scream. You immediately ordered a taxi and waited impatiently until you got home. Then you picked up your pillow, pressed it to your face and let rip. You raged until your head hurt and then you fell asleep on your sofa, waking in the small hours of the morning with a sore neck. You climbed into your bed and tossed and turned. You did not sleep. You refused to get up.  

When the sun was high in the sky and streaming into your apartment, there came a knock on the door. You thought for five seconds about ignoring it because you weren’t expecting and didn’t want to see anyone. Then you got up to answer it anyway. 

“So apparently you hate me,” he said in greeting.  

Changbin stood at your door. He didn’t let himself in. He knocked. He waited for you to open it.  

Then he said that, and you bit back before you could stop yourself. 

“Isn’t the feeling mutual?”  

Changbin sighed. Rolled his eyes. 

“Ok, let me know when you’ll stop being a cunt and maybe I’ll try again.” 

He walked away and you let him.  

* * * 

You kept waiting for him to come again. He didn’t. You waited for him to call or text. He didn’t. As time went on, you had assumed you would care less, get over it, stop being bothered by it. You didn’t. 

It had started to hurt. It began as a needling kind of pain, sharp but small. Then it began to grow and now you woke with a hole in your chest and bitterness in your heart.  

You thought about him all the time. What he must be telling people. You had refused to talk to anyone about it, refused to go out, shut yourself up in your poky apartment waiting for it all to go away.  

It didn’t. 

There was a knock on your door and you jumped, because it had to be Changbin. Because who else could get into the building? 

Your body physically withered at the sight of your sister. 

“How did you get in here?” you asked. 

“I know your building code, Miki. I know your door code, too, but I didn’t want to just barge in.” 

“Why not? You love barging in. You love poking your nose in where it’s not welcome.” 

Hani did not reply. She sat on your coffee table and gestured for you to take a seat opposite her on your sofa. 

“What do you want?” 

“I came to see if you wanted to talk about it.” 

“Talk about what?” 

Hani closed her eyes briefly and you knew she was rolling them beneath her lids. She was too polite to just do it outwardly, even though it was obvious how she felt.  

“You and Changbin haven’t been speaking much, huh?” 

“Fuck off, Hani.” 

“I know he misses you.” 

“You don’t know anything.” 

“I’m married to his best friend, M-” 

“I’m his best friend!” 

“Ok, ok, I’m married to one of his very close friends. Chan says he’s miserable and I know you are, too.” 

“You don’t know anything.” 

“I don’t know much, I’ll admit that, but that’s because you don’t tell me anything. Have you ever considered that I’d be less ‘fucking annoying’ if you ever let me in? If you ever volunteered information about yourself and your life? I don’t like being the person you think I am. I know you think I’m hen-pecking you, I’m a nag, I’m just like Mum and all the much less kind things you’ve said. But I’m not. You just think I am because you take every question as an attack; you think every inquiry is an interrogation.  

“You are the spikiest person I’ve ever met and the reason I was pushing the boyfriend thing with you is because you’ve got worse since you and-” 

“Don’t say his name-” 

“... Since the break-up. You were spiky before but now you’re mean and you’re bitter and miserable. And I know you want to be happy, so I pushed it. And then you got with Changbin and I was so happy. You were so happy. Now you’re going to ruin it all by being your-.” 

“That’s why I think you’re a cunt,” you interrupted. “I’m going to ruin my relationship by being myself? Thanks a fucking bunch.” 

“I was going to say you’re going to ruin it by being your worst self. Your scared self. Your angry, short-tempered self that lashes out at people. You have a soft centre, Miki, but you also have a moat full of spikes and a portcullis. You have thorns and a dragon guarding you.  

“But I saw the way you looked at Changbin and I haven’t seen you look like that for a long time. Even towards the end of your last relationship, you’d lost it. But you had it back. And I don’t want you to throw it away.” 

You didn’t reply because you didn’t have anything to say. You couldn’t argue with the truth, but you weren’t going to tell her she was right. You couldn’t take it.  

You’d spent your whole life feeling like the fuck up, the first pancake, compared to Hanbyeol and her ability to get everything right. She had one boyfriend before she went to university and they were sweet and innocent and didn’t even sleep together. Then she met Chan on her first day at university and they’d been together ever since. She graduated with a perfect degree and got a good job on a good career path and has been walking it ever since.  

You slept with your first boyfriend at the age of 15 and he promptly dumped you. You spent four years on an art degree that went fucking nowhere and did nothing for you. You’d had jobs and quit jobs and been fired from jobs; you’d dated and had partners and dumped them and been dumped by them. Nothing stuck.  

“You don’t know anything,” you mumbled sullenly back, your fire extinguished.  

“I would if you told me.” But she wasn’t chastising, wasn’t telling you off. She was just saying it, softly, gently now.  

“I don’t want to talk about it.”  

“That’s ok. You don’t have to talk about it with me if you don’t want. But you should talk to Changbin. He really does miss you. And I really don’t want you to miss out on what you had with him because you’re afraid or being stubborn. Sometimes you have to meet people halfway, Miki; it’s not fair to make him come to you every time.” 

She stood and left your apartment without another word. Your bottom lip wobbled.  

Was it too late? 

* 

You didn’t know where to start. How to start. What to do. Who to turn to. The only person you could talk about this with was Changbin because he was the only person who knew the truth. It wasn’t even a matter of your pride anymore; it would have felt like a betrayal to reveal the secret to anyone else. But you couldn’t just go to Changin, half-cocked, with nothing in your head but a jumble of half-formed sentences and no idea what you really wanted. 

You let another week go by. 

* 

The gym felt stuffy. You were sure the aircon wasn’t working properly because it should not have been that warm in there, even if it was over 30 degrees outside. You were dripping with sweat and  looking around, praying for chalk so you could dry your hands properly. You had given up on the barbell because you didn’t think you’d be able to grip it with such wet hands. You were miserable and grumpy, and the workout sucked. 

Then Changbin walked in.  

You felt sick. Your first instinct was to hide, but there was nowhere to hide. And he’d already seen you. Your eyes caught and he slowed to a stop, just looking at you. You had to make the first move. You knew you had to.  

You stood from the bench and walked towards him, crossing your heart and hoping to die that he wouldn’t walk away.  

“Hi,” you said, your voice small. 

“Hi,” he returned.  

You could barely look him in the eye. You hadn’t prepared for this. 

“It’s pretty unbearable in here, right now. I think the aircon is broken,” you offered, cursing yourself all the while. 

Changbin seemed surprised and he nodded with a small ‘oh’. 

“I think I’ll be fine,” he said. “I wasn’t planning to be long anyway.” 

“Right. Yeah. Ok.” 

It was tugging at your heart, this need to say something, this inability to do so.  

Changbin waited only a few more seconds and then he pointed beyond you and began to move away. 

“Wait!” 

He stopped.  

“I... can we talk? Sometime. Not now. Later. I don’t know. I- I... We should talk.” 

You kept your eyes trained on the ground and could feel his gaze on you. He answered slowly. 

“Yeah, ok. Text me or something.” 

You nodded and scarpered, workout unfinished, but you reached the lift and breathed a sigh of relief. Had that been so bad? You’d survived. You were still in one piece. And he’d agreed to talk to you.  

Part of you wanted to go back and tell him, actually, it has to be now. You wanted to get it over with. Another part of you wanted it to never happen. You still didn’t know what you would say to him.  

* 

You stood, nervously, outside his apartment, waiting for your courage to build to a sufficient level for you to knock on his door. It was taking its sweet time. You weren’t sure if it would ever get there. Your palms were sweaty, the backs of your knees, too. You realised the last time you were this nervous to speak to someone was the day your last relationship ended and you stood outside your shared apartment, waiting for the courage to go in and end it. Have it ended for you. Not by you. You had certainly never been this nervous with Changbin: not the first time you went to your sister’s pretending to be together, not the first time you had sex. You had always felt comfortable with him. 

Now you didn’t. And that was on you. 

You closed your eyes, gritted your teeth, and knocked. The door opened almost instantly. 

“Oh. Hi. That was quick.” 

“I know; you’ve been out there for ages. I’ve been standing here waiting for you to knock.” 

“Oh.” 

Your face flamed so hot, it made your eyes sting. Changbin stood back and gestured you into his apartment. You waited for him to sit on the sofa and then you took your place on the floor, just off to the side. Somehow, you didn’t feel like you could sit equally next to him. You had apologies to make, grovelling to do.  

Changbin waited.  

“I’m sorry,” you offered first. The easiest thing to say because it covered all manner of your sins. 

“What for?” 

Less easy. 

“Everything,” you choked. “For making you pretend to be my boyfriend, for not breaking us up, for my short temper and impatience, for overreacting to the Sakura thing, for not speaking to you. All of it, really.” 

You heard him take a deep breath but didn’t dare look at him. The silence felt stiff. You couldn’t say anything more even if you’d wanted to. You needed to know what his response was first.  

He sighed. 

“They’re not the things I want you to be sorry for... I suppose I should apologise, too.” 

“What for?”  

You were struggling with the silence. If there was one word that could never describe you or Changbin, it was ‘quiet.’ You would have needed more hands to be able to count on fingers the number of noise complaints he’d received from his neighbours. It was never like this between the two of you. It was never awkward like this.  

“I don’t want to say it,” he said eventually. “I feel like shit and I don’t want to say it because I’ll feel even more like shit.” 

“I don’t want you to feel like shit.” 

“That’s how you’ve been treating me.” 

Tears pricked in your eyes and you did your best to swallow the anger that was rising with them. Your temper was the reason you were in this mess; it could not get you out of it. But Changbin continued before you could find a word to say. 

“I got it wrong, obviously. I thought it was going somewhere. Not at first, obviously. But something had changed and I thought, ok, maybe something is happening now. Maybe this... Maybe this could be real. Then it went on longer and longer and I realised how stupid I was to think that. Because you didn’t want anything more. That was clear. That was really clear and I should have seen it long before I did.” 

He sighed heavily and fell back against the sofa cushions. You risked a peek and saw him contemplate the ceiling. 

“I made the Sakura thing up.” 

“What?” 

“I made it up. Of course she didn’t ask me out! She had been introduced to us together. You were introduced as my girlfriend; why would she have then tried something? I just had to see how you’d react. I wanted to... test, I suppose, how you felt.” 

You took your time speaking because you could feel your rage simmering in your gut. You were trying so hard not to be angry, not to react. But he’d lied to you. Manipulated you. This was his fault and all this time you thought it was yours? Why would he do that? 

“Are you going to fucking say anything, Miki?” 

‘Yes,’ you thought, ‘just as soon as I can stop seeing red.’  

“I don’t understand.”  

The words were sharp in your throat, painfully clawing their way out. You could feel Changbin’s patience ebbing away, too, and the whole situation was as if you were dancing on a tightrope. You had thought it would be easy to straighten out: an apology, some reluctant forgiveness, a few jokes and things would be back to normal. Guess not. 

“It made me feel used.”  

His confession was small. Small and quiet so you knew it was real, that he wasn’t after a reaction or a fight. He was just telling you the truth. 

“Used?” 

“I was up for it, at first. I agreed, I didn’t have to but I did. I signed up for it. I know that. Pretending to be your boyfriend was fun to start with. Making you squirm. Though, to be honest, it wasn’t fun that you were so... disgusted by the idea of us being together. The way you flinched every time I touched you or looked nauseated half the time at the thought of us so much as kissing. That wasn’t exactly a balm to my ego. But I could take it. And you got used to it, I thought. Got less disgusted.  

“Then we started having sex and things changed. You changed. And I didn’t really know what it meant but I know you well enough that I knew not to push too hard. I guess I thought, at some point, you would come out and say it. But you didn’t. At all. Things carried on exactly as they were and I realised that’s what you wanted. You didn’t want me for anything more. You wanted to have sex and pretend we were together but you didn’t want to be together. You didn’t want me. You just wanted me to keep up your pretence to get one over on your sister; you wanted the convenience of, I don’t even know what. It was like you liked the idea of being with me but not the reality of it. And I got sick of it, ok?  

“That’s what made me feel like shit. That’s what made me feel used. And I know you; I knew you were never going to talk to me about it. So I made up the Sakura thing. I wanted a reaction from you. I wanted to see if you gave a shit at all.” 

You wanted him to continue, to say things so that you didn’t have to. Because you did give a shit. You were incensed that Sakura dared to ask him out. You were angry with him because you felt like he wanted to go out with her. You felt betrayed by it. Abandoned. Rejected. Surely that had been obvious by your reaction. Surely you didn’t have to say that now? 

Though you still weren’t sure what it meant. Hearing Changbin spell it all out like that: his hurt, the word ‘disgusted’, his hope, your inability to communicate being thrown in your face when you had hoped it was a secret. You didn’t want him to see you like that: inept and selfish and inconsiderate. Used. You had used him. Your first instinct had been to kick back at that, deny it vociferously, scream at Changbin and call him every name under the sun, storm out.  

But you weren’t doing that anymore. You weren’t going to let your temper ruin this. Again.  

Or you were trying.  

“Obviously I give a shit,” you said sullenly, a little sulkily despite your best efforts.  

“I don’t know.” 

“How can you say that you don’t know? Don’t you know me?” 

“Yeah, I know you but I’m really beginning to see the limits of my knowledge. I can’t know everything, Miki. I can’t read your mind. Sometimes you have to say things. Sometimes you have to say things even if the other person already knows them! Things need to be said. They need to be heard.”  

“What things?” 

“I don’t believe you don’t know what I’m talking about.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” You could hear your voice rising but couldn’t stop it.  

“Yes, you do!” His was rising, too. “You know exactly what I’m saying and you know what I want you to say but you won’t say it and that’s the fucking problem, isn’t it?” 

You opened your mouth to argue back but he got in first. 

“Or you really, actually don’t know what I’m talking about and that, in itself, is a problem. Either way, you need to figure it out.” 

His tone was final. Conclusive. Dismissive. But you had only just got started so you weren’t going to leave just yet. 

“Why do I have to figure it out?” 

“Because it’s your problem!” 

“No, it’s not! You’re the one who lied about Sakura! You made this mess!” 

Changbin got to his feet. 

“I made this mess? This entire thing was your idea! I have followed your lead the entire time and you have led me down a fucking merry path! Do you kn-” 

“I’ve been leading?! You’re the one who suggested we have sex!” 

“You’re the one who took me up on it! And I’d never have suggested it if we weren’t trapped in a situation of your making!” 

“You didn’t have to go along with it!” 

“You asked me to! You’re my friend! Friends do each other favours! Of course I was going to say yes!” 

“I didn’t force you to!” 

“Friendship forced me, you idiot! But I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that you don’t understand that.” 

“What the fuck does that mean?” 

You were interrupted by a knock at the door. Changbin answered and it was building security, here to offer up yet another warning regarding the noise. Changbin apologised, promised to keep it down and returned to the sofa. 

“Ball’s in your court,” he told you. “It’s up to you.” 

“What’s up to me?” 

You made the mistake of looking up at him and his glare could have turned you to stone.  

“Don’t act stupid, Miki. You figure it out.” 

You wanted to argue. You wanted to have this out right here, right now. Arguing cleared the air. You had been getting somewhere before his pathetic, meddling neighbours had gone and complained about the noise. Maybe you should have made him come to you; your neighbours had never complained, never even made a peep. Maybe you should have gone somewhere open – the park, the river, somewhere you could shout at each other amongst all the noise of the city.  

You didn’t want to leave. 

“Will you just go?” he asked, impatience ringing clear as a bell through his tone. 

You bit the inside of your lip to stop yourself saying no. Then you let it go. 

“No. I’m not leaving.” 

“I don’t have anything more to say to you.” 

“Well maybe I have things to say to you!” 

“Do you?” 

Yes. No. Maybe. They were there somewhere, the words you wanted to say, the words he wanted to hear. You knew they were there, germinating somewhere deep and dark and bloody. You weren’t ready for them to sprout, to grow, to bloom.  

“Miki, I don’t want to ask you again. Please leave.” 

When you remained sitting on the floor, he sighed and turned the TV on; he watched and didn’t look your way. He kept watching and didn’t glance down even once.  

You knew you weren’t going to say anything but leaving felt like defeat. It felt like walking away. It was walking away. You didn’t want to walk away from Changbin. 

You had no choice but to. 

* * *  

“Can I talk to you?” Chan asked, the following Sunday. 

You didn’t get the sense this time that you were in trouble, but you knew you would deserve it if you were.  

“I wanted to apologise,” he began and you started. 

“You want to apologise to me?” 

“Yes. I should have known better than to ask you so directly about you and Changbin. I just didn’t know how to tiptoe around it and, to be honest, I was kind of worried about Changbin; I was thinking of him, not you. So I’m sorry for pushing it.” 

No wonder Hani fell in love with him. 

“You don’t have to apologise to me, Chan. I should be apologising to you. I was rude; you were just being nice. I appreciate it, actually, that you came to me yourself before siccing my sister on me. I didn’t mean what I said.” 

“I know you didn’t.” 

“Did you tell Hani I said it?” 

He chuckled. 

“No, of course not.” 

“Good.” You paused. “Thank you. And I’m sorry.” 

“It’s ok. Air cleared. We’re all good. But... can I ask now about you and Changbin? He said you talked.” 

“Then you probably know everything already.” 

His eyebrow quirked and you weren’t too angry to miss it this time.  

“What?” you asked. 

“I don’t think I know everything.” 

“Enough.” You shrugged. “He says the ball’s in my court, but I don’t know what to do with it.” 

“Don’t you?” 

You could feel your conversation with Changbin started to repeat itself.  

No, you did not know what to do with the ball and you were getting pretty tired of holding it. It was Changbin. Your Binnie. Not your Binnie. Just Binnie. He was your friend, your best friend. He was your fake boyfriend because your sister had bugged you just one too many times about it. He was your friend-with-benefits because you couldn’t both keep the lie going and sleep with anyone else. He was...  

He had said he felt used. You hadn’t felt like you were using him. Or maybe you thought you were using each other, in which case it was fine. You were both benefiting, weren’t you? You got all the perks of a relationship with none of the obligations. It was ideal. It was really the perfect situation. You had thought. 

Changbin obviously didn’t feel the same. You kept running it through your head, the things he had said: 

“I thought it was going somewhere.” 

“Something was happening.” 

“Maybe this could be real.” 

It wasn’t real. That was the whole point. It wasn’t supposed to be real.  

But your anger when Changbin lied about Sakura was real. The sense of betrayal you felt. The abandonment. 

Your comfort with him was real. The ease you felt in his company. The joy and contentment in just lounging around together, with no pressure to be anything other than who and what you were.  

Your pleasure was real, once you started sleeping together. The literally toe-curling, hair-raising, blood-curdling ecstasy he ripped out of you. Gave to you. The soft sweetness of his kisses and the unyielding strength of his body; his smooth, golden skin, and curly, black hair. The noises you’d never heard him make before that you could now conjure up whenever you liked, that echoed in your dreams. All of that was real. It was more than real; it was animal. It was pure. It was mindless and easy and natural.  

Natural, too, it became when you kissed outside of the bedroom. When you leant into him and he pulled you close with his arm around your shoulder. When he held your hand. When he placed a protective hand on your back on the subway, in a bar queue, just letting you know he was there. He was there for you.  

He was right that you’d felt awkward at first. That you hated the pet names and the embarrassment that came with them. You hated him for being mischievous and jeopardising the whole operation by testing your non-existent acting skills. You weren’t sure when that feeling stopped. You were sure it was before you slept together but then you remembered the watershed that occurred afterwards. 

An invisible wall between you had disappeared; a veil had been lifted. It was as if all your interactions with Changbin before that moment had been happening behind a barrier. You were holding hands through the holes of a fence, one of you on either side of it. You were clinging to each other from far away.  

Then suddenly, you weren’t. You were on the same side of the fence. You were not just close but united. Joined. One.  

It hurt your heart to think about it. It hurt so much. It hurt like a break-up. It hurt like heartbreak.  

So you knew the answers. The answer. But you didn’t want to. 

You looked up at Chan, the inside of your lip torn to shreds.  You shrugged. 

“I don’t know what to do,” you said, and it came out tight and choked, tears you hadn’t realised were there stinging in your eyes.  

Chan pulled you into his arms for a hug and, on any other day, you’d have shoved him off, but it came as a relief. You leant into him and wrapped your arms around his waist.  

“You’re a good brother,” you said quietly, trying not to sniffle. “I’m glad Hani married you.” 

“Thanks, Miki. That really means a lot to me, you know.” 

He rubbed your back and you felt like the world’s most pathetic loser, and sickeningly grateful for Chan at that moment.  

“You and Bin can work it out, I promise.” 

You could only hope that was true. 

* * * 

You sat with the answer for longer than you should have. You should have taken it to Changbin as soon as you knew the truth. You even knew what was stopping you. But that knowledge wasn’t helping you get past it.  

You lay on your sofa, rotting, hoping to decay to the point that your decomposing body could leak into the cushions and you could become one with it. You stared at your ceiling. You were putting it off. You didn’t want to do it, but doing anything else felt like defeat, felt like shirking your responsibility, felt like running away. So you just lay and stared and waited for something to make you move.  

The longer you left it, the harder it would be. The longer you left it, the less likely it was that Changbin would respond how you wanted him to. Because you were leaving him hanging. Stringing him along—you had been stringing him along, however unwittingly, for weeks now. That wasn’t fair and he had every right to be angry, to dislike you, to not want anything more. To have changed his mind.  

God, you hoped he hadn’t changed his mind.  

You could scarcely believe that it had been three weeks now that you’d not been speaking. Three weeks with just one argument between you. No wonder it felt like a break-up. Your relationship might technically have been fake, but you had dug deep enough to realise that your feelings weren’t. 

You cringed to yourself. You hated that. You hated thinking about your feelings. You hated that they existed. You hated that they hurt so much, all the time. You hated how much you missed him, how scared you were to lose him.  

That was enough, you’d decided. It hit you over the head, your oldest friend, impatience. You had had enough of this, you said to yourself. Rip the fucking plaster off and, if you bled all over the floor, so be it. At least maybe you’d bleed to death. 

You took the stairs to Changbin’s floor and hammered on his door. No answer. You let yourself in, using his door code. 

“Binnie?” 

The apartment was empty.  

Not wanting to lose any momentum, not wanting either to give him any notice, to initiate any contact that might psych you out or knock you off-course, you decided to head to the gym. It was as likely a place for him to be as any.  

You were right. He was on the floor, stretching, when you entered. That was good; that meant he had finished. Also good: the gym was empty but for the two of you.  

You strode over and sat next to him. You placed your hand on his arm. You knew what you had to tell him but hadn’t quite picked the words. They were never your strong suit. He turned to look at you, his face an open question, and shuffled into a more comfortable position.  

The words didn’t come but the impulse did. You leant forward and kissed him. Tentative, hesitant, light. The second seemed to stretch forever; you were desperate for it to end and dying for it not to. Your heart was pounding so hard, you could hear it in your ears. Your body was flushing warm, running hot and you could feel the heat from him, too, though you knew his wasn’t anything to do with you.  

The second finally ended and you pulled back, but only barely, just enough to see his eyes, usually so intense but, at this moment, open, sparkling, asking.  

You kissed him again. You hadn’t meant to; it happened without your say so. This time, he responded. You felt his lips move against yours, his head turn so they slotted together, so he could run his tongue over your bottom lip. You moved your hands into his hair, damp with sweat, curling at the edges of his face.  

“Binnie,” you whispered, when his lips left yours a second time.  

“Miki,” he returned. 

“I want to tell you-” 

He interrupted you with his mouth on yours again. You made a noise of protest, but it was weak and you didn’t follow through because it had hit you, how much you missed this. How much you wanted it. How much you had liked it at the time and not allowed yourself to notice.  

You had to be closer to him. You shuffled on your knees and sat yourself in his lap; he pulled you to his body until his sweat soaked through your shirt. Your mouth journeyed across his face, to his jaw, walking a trail down his neck, kissing wet drops of sweat from his skin. 

“Miki...”  

“Binnie...” 

Your mouth reversed its travels and you sucked his bottom lip between yours, sank your teeth into it gently and then not so gently. The groan he made, deep in his chest, lit you up on the inside, burning hot now, your own sweat starting to prickle on your skin.  

Before you lost your mind completely to the heat and the haze, you pulled back. You pressed your forehead against his and took a second to get your breath back, breath you hadn’t noticed he had taken.  

“I need to tell you,” you repeated. “I have to tell you things.”  

You felt him nod against you. 

“Ok, you can tell me.” 

“I’m sorry.”  

It wasn’t the thing you wanted to start with. You wished you could have said it all without having to apologise. But you’d done things that you were sorry for and he had to know. 

“I’m sorry I’m so stupid and I’m sorry I used you and I’m sorry I don’t know how to be honest with you and I’m sorry I don’t know how to feel things and I’m sorry I shouted at you and was a dick to you and said I hated you. I’m sorry I did all this stupid shit. I’m sorry I didn’t notice. I'm sorry I didn’t realise. I’m sorry I didn’t speak to you. I’m sorry for all of it.” 

His lips were back before you had even closed your mouth. You pushed against his chest with your hands. 

“Stop kissing me! I have to say stuff!” 

“I know, but I have stuff to say, too, and I want to say it like this,” he replied, pausing between each clause to press his mouth against yours, staying so close that you could feel his lips move as he spoke. 

“You said I had to go first,” you reminded him. “Let me go first.”  

He huffed but leant back a little and you did the same, the air between you clearing just enough for you to remember how nervous you were, how terrified, even though he’d just been kissing you, even though you sat in his lap with his arms around you.  

“It started out not being real,” you began. “It really wasn’t real and I intended for it to never be real because I just wanted Hani to leave me alone and I was going to end it. I swear. I was racking my brain trying to come up with a good solution. Especially because you were being so annoying! I thought you wanted it to fail because you were winding me up so much. And you were right, I fucking flinched and I hated it; it made me so uncomfortable because it was so weird to have you doing that. We didn’t do that!  

“Then you kissed me on the subway and it was... nice. And then horrible because it shouldn’t have been nice! And then we had sex and it was... more than nice. And I... I didn’t want to break us up anymore because I liked how it was. I kept saying to myself that we had all of the perks of a real relationship with none of the drawbacks but what I really meant, though I didn’t know it, was that I had all the security of a relationship with none of the risk. 

“I didn’t want to risk it. Having feelings. Going there. With you, especially. Not because—not because I d--... Not... It was you, Binnie. You were my best friend. I trust you with everything. You know all of my stupid secrets; you’ve seen me throw up on the street; you gave me food poisoning so bad I literally shit myself in your doorway; it’s you--” 

“Can I make a recommendation?” 

“What?” 

“Maybe don’t talk about shitting yourself while you’re trying to confess your undying love for me?” 

You slapped him hard on the arm. 

“Shut the fuck up! I’m being fucking vulnerable here, you prick!” 

He laughed and you let him kiss you, just a little, just long enough for the flash of your annoyance to fade.  

“My point is,” you continued, pushing back against him, “that if you didn’t want me, who the fuck would? You are the person who could... You’re the person who could hurt me the most. Out of anyone. Out of everyone. If I didn’t have you, if you said no, if I fucked things up, who would I have? I didn’t want to lose you.” 

“So you kept me at arm’s length and pushed me away and didn’t speak to me for weeks.” 

“I know, I’m sorry.”  

Shame flamed on your cheeks. It swallowed your voice, made your throat tight and your eyes sting. You dropped your gaze, focusing on your hand around his bicep, your ragged thumbnail that you had chewed to bits. You watched it raise and lower as Changbin shrugged. 

“It’s ok. I did it, too. I could have brought it up. But I didn’t. Because, honestly, I knew it would go badly and I thought it would be easier to fight than talk about it. I thought you would find it easier if I pushed you to be angry rather than pushing you to be... open. I thought if you really felt anything, it would come out in an argument. That wasn’t fair of-” 

“No, that is pretty much right on the money. You’re right. It’s so much easier to be angry with you than... than this.” 

“Are you still angry?” 

You shook your head. You were as far from angry as you’d ever been.  

“Are you still angry with me?” you countered, swallowing hard. 

“No.” 

A sigh of relief.  

“Tell me, then,” he whispered, his lips moving against yours in anticipation of a kiss. 

“Tell you what?”  

“What you want.” 

And it came out easily. 

“You.” 

* * *  

[austinshotbutlers]

The Wedding Date

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!BAU!Reader

Summary: Your sister’s wedding is approaching fast and the thought of showing your boyfriend off to your family and your ex-boyfriend seems like a very appealing idea. The only problem is… you don’t have a boyfriend. Luckily your stony faced, serious, sexy boss has agreed to be your fake boyfriend for the weekend. What could possibly go wrong?

Word count: 3.8k

TW: Mentions of sex but no actual smut, swear words, bad writing? LOL

A/N: AHHHH! My first fic on here! This is based on the 2005 film of the same title. I literally love this film and I love the idea of Hotch posing as your fake boyfriend. Would anyone be up for a part 2?

The clock read 18:34. You should have finished 34 minutes ago. Everyone had gone home the minute the clock hit 6, the first day all week that the BAU had finished at a reasonable hour. Yet here you were, staring at the words ‘requested vacation confirmed’ which seemed to taunt you through the screen of your computer. It was all booked now, no going back. There was now no excuse for you not to go to your sister’s wedding next week. You sighed frustratedly before closing the tab and continuing with filing case reports that could definitely be saved for tomorrow but you didn’t want to go home, not just yet.

You typed aggressively at your keyboard. The thought of seeing your ex at your sister’s wedding made you more frustrated by the minute. How could she do this to you? Marry your ex-boyfriend’s best friend. Agree to your ex-boyfriend being the best man when you’re the maid of honour? Your fingers hit the keyboard harder and harder before the ringing of your phone drew you from your thoughts. You picked it up and saw it was your mom. You took a deep breath before answering.

“Hi mom,” you said in your best fake happy voice.

“Hi sweetie! Just checking that your vacation has been approved for the big day.” She said over cheerily.

“Yeah mom its all…” you hesitated. “It’s all been approved and confirmed. You can tell Sarah I’m officially ready for maid of honour duties.”

“Oh that’s perfect.” Your mom said with a hint of relief in her voice. “I thought that silly job of yours would try and deny your vacation.”

You rolled your eyes as she once again ridiculed your job. She hated the idea of you chasing serial killers and rapists and every other sick bastard out there. She much preferred the idea of you having a more traditional 9-5, like your younger sister who was oh-so-perfect. Your mom was never a fan of your interest in murder and psychology and profiling when you were in high school. She was even less of a fan when she found out you were doing criminology and psychology at college. Then, when you went on to get your job working for the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit, she expressed a dislike towards your career path choice but she did try to be interested in your work.

“Anyway, I just had some questions about your plus one.” Your mom said, getting back on track to the wedding. “Am I right in thinking you’re not bringing anyone?”

Before you could even think and stop yourself, the words came flying out of your mouth. “No mom… I’m actually bringing my boyfriend.”

‘Boyfriend?! What boyfriend?’ You frantically thought as you ran a hand through your hair.

“Oh honey, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.” Your mom sounded surprised. “Shall I add him to the guest list then?”

“Yes! Well, actually I need to check he can still come and I’ll get straight back you. Bye mom!”

“Oh…ok, bye sweetie” she said before you immediately hung up.

You put the phone down onto the desk and whispered ‘oh god’ under your breath. What were you going to do? How were your going to magically find a boyfriend to take to meet your family in less than a week? You stood up abruptly and turned around to be face to face to none other than Aaron Hotchner.

“Oh my god!” You exclaimed. “How much of that did you hear?” ***

Hotch signed his last case file report for the night and looked out his office window to see you sat at your desk. That stern look of concentration on your face that he found adorable as you typed at your computer. The rest of the team had gone home nearly 40 minutes ago yet you were still here. Why were you still here?

He turned back to his desk and started filing away the forms he had been reading and signing nearly all day and then turned to his computer to check his last few emails for the day. One in particular caught his eye that read your name in bold capitals. He clicked on it curiously and skimmed the contents which highlighted that you had been granted 5 days vacation time.

‘It’s good,’ he thought to himself as he packed away his papers and shut his computer down. You never used your vacation days so he’s glad you’re actually taking a break for once. He picked up his coat and headed towards the door of his office. He opened it and flicked the light switch of his office off and began walking down the stairs into the bullpen.

“No mom. I’m actually bringing my boyfriend.” Hotch heard you say into your phone and he faltered in his steps. ‘Boyfriend?’ He questioned. You had never mentioned a boyfriend before. He watched as you ran a hand through your hair, something you only do when you’re stressed or frustrated he noticed.

“Yes! Well, actually I need to check he can still come and I’ll get straight back you. Bye mom!” You said very quickly and hung up the phone. You placed the mobile device down onto your desk and paused before standing up and beginning to get ready to go home. You began to turn around and Hotch panicked. He had no time to move before you were standing face to face.

“Oh my god!” You exclaimed. “How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough to know you’re taking your boyfriend somewhere.” He replied and you cringed. “I’m sorry,” Hotch continued. “I really didn’t mean to intrude on your phone call.”

“Hotch it’s fine. Honestly!” You said to him and you could visibly see the tension leave his body. “It’s just a shame said boyfriend doesn’t exist.” You added. Oh god, were you really about to spill your guts to your boss?

“I’m sorry?” Hotch replied with a hint of confusion in his tone. Your face visibly cringed at his confusion and Aaron felt his heart squeeze a little at how adorable it was.

“I uh… I don’t actually have a boyfriend. I’ve just said it to make everyone think I’m seeing someone without thinking about the consequences.” You said and you watched Hocth’s eyebrows raise which prompted you to go on. “I can’t believe I’m telling you all this. I really shouldn’t be burdening you with my inability to face my ex at my sister’s wedding.”

Now Aaron was really intrigued. “You can tell me but don’t feel like you have to. I know better than anyone that sometimes we want to keep personal matters to ourselves and away from work.”

You smiled at him, just his voice calming your nerves as you prepared to tell him everything. “So my ex is the best man at my sister’s wedding next week and I haven’t seen him in nearly two years. The day he dumped me, everyone thought he was going to propose and instead of a diamond ring, I ended up with a broken heart.” You cringed at your own words. “Sorry that was so cliché but I’m just dreading seeing him there and with his new girlfriend too. I don’t want him to see me still single, I don’t want him to see I haven’t moved on.”

Aaron listened intently to what you had to say. How could anyone dump you? You were beautiful, intelligent, funny. You were just perfect.

“My family haven’t mentioned him much, they all know it’s a fragile situation but just then, on the phone to my mom, her assuming I didn’t have a plus one just made me snap and before I could stop myself, I was telling her I was bringing a boyfriend.” You collapsed back down onto your desk chair, defeated. “And now I have to find someone to be my boyfriend.”

Aaron didn’t think, which was unusual for him, before he said “I’ll do it.”

You looked at him in shock. “What?”

He suddenly realised what he just said and hesitated before continuing to say “I’ll come to the wedding with you.”

“Hotch… no I couldn’t ask that of you.” You replied shaking your head. “You can’t leave Jack for 5 days. Also will you be able to get the time off? No I really can’t let you do this.”

“Y/N,” Aaron interrupted you. “I’m happy to help.”

You paused to think about it… it definitely would be you best option considering your predicament. But could you really spend 5 days with your boss pretending to be a couple? Your stoic, grumpy, handsome boss who you most definitely have a stupid, school girl crush on. You looked back up at him and locked your eyes with his before the word ‘Ok’ left your lips.

“Ok, lets do it. You pretend to be my boyfriend and I will spend the rest of my time at the BAU making it up to you.” You joke.

Aaron laughs lightly. “You don’t have to make up for anything. I want to help you out.”

***

You quickly unlocked the front door to your apartment and threw your bag down as you entered. You were now a woman on a mission. A mission to find the biggest wine glass in your apartment. You cracked open a new bottle of wine and poured a tall glass, drinking almost all of it in one gulp. What the hell had you just agreed to do? You grabbed your phone and texted the one person who you knew you could tell.

7: 48PM | Y/N L/N: SOS!!! Just agreed to do something truly insane.

7:49PM | Emily Prentiss: Uh-Oh this doesn’t sound good. What’s up?

7:51PM | Y/N L/N: Hotch may have heard a whole conversation with my mother and to cut a long story short, he is coming to my sister’s wedding pretending to be my boyfriend :/

You awaited Emily’s reply. What the fuck was she going to think?

7:55PM |Emily Prentiss: Sorry, I needed time to process what I just read. What the fuck? Are you actually insane?

7:56PM | Y/N L/N: Today officially confirmed my insanity. How the hell am I going to spend 5 days pretending to be in love with him?

7:58PM | Emily Prentiss: I mean it’s not going to be hard. You’ve been crushing on Hotch for like 6 months now. I’ve also had my suspicions that Hotch liked you and today definitely confirms that Hotch is so in love with you.

You couldn’t believe what Emily had just said, could Hotch really be in love with you? No, surely not.

8:01PM | Y/N L/N: Are you joking? Hotch does NOT have a crush on me. He’s a grown man, he doesn’t have silly crushes. And he said he was doing it to help me and I believe that.

8:03PM | Emily Prentiss: Ok, keep telling yourself that but when you both end up head over heels for one another, don’t get angry when I say I told you so.

You just rolled your eyes at her last text, picking up your wine glass to down the last little sip you had left. Now, you had to call your mom back to tell her the good news that your boyfriend was definitely coming to the wedding. Reluctantly dialling her number, you waited as it rung.

“Hi sweetheart, calling back to tell me your boyfriend is coming?” She asked immediately after answering.

“Yeah I am. He’s all set to come so add him down onto the guest list.” You replied. “I guess we will be seeing you next week then.”

“Don’t sound too excited.” Your mom teased. “I’m excited to meet this boyfriend now.”

“Ok, I better go mom, my…. My dinner is burning.” You lied. “I’ll see you next week, bye.”

Your mom barely had time to mutter the word ‘bye’ before you had hung up. You placed your phone down on the table and picked the bottle of win up, pouring more into your glass. You sipped at it more slowly than your first glass, absentmindedly playing with the hem of your skirt as you nursed the dark red liquid. It was going to be a long week.

***

You saw him standing at the gate as you rushed through the airport terminal to meet Aaron. He appeared to visibly relax the moment he saw you as you rushed frantically through the airport with your carry on slung over your shoulder.

“Shit! Sorry I’m so late!” You exclaimed as you finally reached him. “My alarm didn’t go off and then I lost my boarding pass. Sorry for making you check in and go through security by yourself.”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re here now.” He smiled. “Here let me take your bag.” Aaron reached his arm out and took the heavy carry on from your shoulder.

“Oh you really don’t have to carry it for me.” You blushed a little, in awe of how gentlemanly he is. “Thank you though. Are you sure it’s not to heavy?”

Aaron laughed. “Trust me Y/N, it’s fine.” He looked around to the gate and saw people beginning to queue up. “Come on, we better get ready to board.”

“Thank you again for agreeing to do this.” You said to him as you joined the queue. “It’s really helped me out, I really appreciate it.”

“Of course, anything to help a friend in need.” Aaron replied. “So, anything I really need to know before we land in LA?”

“Just that my family are insane.” You joke and Aaron laughed lightly. “But my mom will definitely ask you about 50 questions as soon as she meets you so maybe lets set up our story. Where did we meet?”

“Easy, just tell them how we actually met for the first time.” Aaron said with a smile.

You blush a little remembering your first day at the BAU. “But it’s so embarrassing!”

Aaron laughs as you move up the queue and reach the desk, handing over your boarding passes and passports. The flight attendants speedily checked everything and set you on your way to board the plane. Aaron carefully placed your carry on in the overhead locker before doing the same with his own.

“My parents certainly spared no expense.” You said as you sat down, revelling in the luxury of first class. “I think my dad has paid for all of Sarah’s wedding.” You try to refrain from rolling your eyes.

“Are you looking forward to going home?” Aaron asked as he buckled his seatbelt.

“I guess I’m excited to see my family, it has been nearly two years since I last saw them. After Luke dumped me… I kinda just left everyone in radio silence.” You took a deep breath. “I guess I just needed time to…”

“Heal.” Aaron finished your sentence, a tone of understanding in his voice.

You look him straight in the eyes and see a glimmer of hurt beneath his understanding. “Yeah… I mean we were together 5 years and he just ended it. Just like that.” You sighed before looking away from Aaron. “It’s just been difficult… blah enough of me complaining.” You mentally told yourself off. Who were you to complain? And to Aaron Hotchner of all people. The man who had been through what he had. You needed to stop.

***

Aaron pushed the trolley with all your suitcases piled on through the doors of the airport as you stepped out into the air of LA. You missed spending you summers here, it did feel nice to be home.

“My mom and dad said they’d pick us up. They should be somewhere.” You said to Aaron as you tried to look around for them. Suddenly, you saw them making their way over to the two of you excitedly. “Oh sweet Jesus.” You muttered to yourself.

“Oh my goodness! You’re finally back home!” Your mom squealed as she grabbed you and pulled you into a tight hug. “It’s been too long sweetie. I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Come on now Y/M/N, let me give my daughter a hug.” Your dad said as he tried to pry you from your mother’s suffocating embrace. “How is my buddy?”

You pulled a face at the nickname your dad hadn’t used since you were 12. “Dad I’m not 12 anymore.” You laughed and hugged him back. “I’ve missed you though.”

Aaron watched in awe as your parents made a fuss of you, something he never had when he was growing up but always said he would do for his own children. And once all the excitement had calmed down, both your mom and dad turned to face him.

“Oh my Y/N, he’s very handsome.” Your mom whispered a little too loud.

“This is my boyfriend Aaron.” You smiled as you moved to stand at his side, wrapping an arm round his back as Aaron moved his arm to sit round your waist.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr and Mrs Y/L/N.” Aaron leaned forward to shake your dad’s hand but your mom slapped it away.

“There’s no need for such formalities Aaron!” She said. “It’s lovely to meet you! Although, I didn’t know you existed.” And she yanked Aaron in for one of her suffocating hugs.

“Mom you’re going to scare him away!” You said frustratedly and she let aaron go, letting him come and stand back by your side.

After exchanging a few more pleasantries, you all headed to the car. Aaron helped your dad pile all the suitcases in the trunk before he came and joined you in the back of the car, taking your hand in his. The drive was wonderful, being able to take in all the things you missed about LA while living in Washington.

“So Aaron, what do you do?” Your dad asked as he drove.

“I work at the BAU with Y/N. I’m the Unit Chief.” He replied, your hand still held tightly in his.

“Does that mean you’re her boss?” Your mom interjected.

“I am the leader of the BAU team but there are more people above me such as our Section Chief. But technically yes, I suppose I am Y/N’s boss.”

“Trust me though when I say no favouritism goes on in the BAU. He still bites my ass off if I step out of line.” You joke and your parents chuckled.

The conversation flowed well between your parents and Aaron, much to your relief and before you knew it, your dad was pulling into your driveway. You smiled as you took in your family home that you had missed.

“Home sweet home.” Your dad said as he turned the engine off and the unanimous sound of seatbelts unbuckling filled the car. You all began to climb out and Aaron immediately started lifting the bags out the trunk. You walked round to help him and cringed seeing all your suitcases.

“For someone who always has the smallest go bag, you packed a lot for this trip.” Aaron laughed as he placed down your last suitcase.

“Yeah I may have overpacked just a little.” You giggled and settled on carrying the smallest of all your bags into the house. Both you and aaron trekked up the stairs to your bedroom which you hadn’t stayed in in years.

“Wow mom. You really didn’t change a thing huh?” You muttered as you looked around the childhood bedroom. Pink walls blasting in your face, a Top Gun poster of the shirtless volleyball scene, magazine cuttings of Madonna in the 90s and a random A3 poster of George Clooney in his scrubs from ER. Aaron placed the last of the bags down and took in the obnoxiously decorated room.

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to profile me based on my ill-taste in room decorating.” You laughed and Aaron laughed with you.

“It’s… it’s just not what I was expecting.” He said, once again looking around.

“And what were you expecting Agent Hotchner?” You teased.

“I guess I’m just shocked by the hot pink walls. I might have to put my sunglasses on.”

You lightly punched his arm which Aaron found adorable. “Shut up. It’s not that bright.” You rolled your eyes.

Suddenly, your phone buzzed and you picked it out your pocket.

3:36PM | Emily Prentiss: How’s it going? I’m guessing you’re in LA now.

You turned slightly so Aaron couldn’t see your phone even though he was busy unpacking.

3:38PM | Y/N L/N: It’s going surprisingly well. Everything has gone well with my parents. Only downside is that I’m having to subject Aaron to my awfully decorated room.

3:39PM | Emily Prentiss: Oooh it’s Aaron now is it?

3:41PM | Y/N L/N: Oh shut up. I have to go because we have to get ready for my sister’s engagement party. Kill me now. Hopefully I don’t see he who must not be named.

3:42PM | Emily Prentiss: Good luck and if in doubt, just make out with Hotch… or should I say Aaron?

You shook your head at her last text. Emily was loving your predicament a little too much. You turned back to Aaron, who was still busy unpacking, and your cheeks flushed a little at just how good he looked in his polo shirt, his arms flexing as he moved a suitcase. He then caught you looking at him.

“Is everything ok?” He asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

You snapped out of your school girl crush haze and focused your full attention to his questions. “Yes! Just my sister checking in, making sure we’re here and getting ready for the engagement party.”

“What time is the party?”

“5:30! So we have just under two hours to get ready. God, I better start unpacking to hunt down my dress and makeup.” You groaned.

As you began unzipping your cases and searching for everything you needed for the night, thoughts flooded your head.

Was this façade crazy? Yes. Yes it was.

Will this engagement party go smoothly? Probably not.

Is Luke still going to be a total dick? Oh most definitely.

Are you going to fall in love with Aaron?

‘Am I going to fall in love with Aaron?’ You thought once more and looked back over at him, sorting out his suit for tonight. Taking so much care to not disturb any of the clutter in your room, giving you the space you need to get ready, being just so… Aaron Hotchner, so perfect…

You were so fucked.

***

Part Two

[georgeclarkewifey]

inconvenience | g. clarke

Chapter 7: A Night Out to Remember

Summary: Noa takes a break and goes on a night out

Word Count: didn’t count it lol

Warnings: alcohol, swearing, George being a cunt

“You,” Arthur said, leaning over Noa, “need a night off, preferably tonight, and preferably clubbing.”

Noa grumbled and rolled her eyes, trying to shrug off Arthur from her shoulders.

“What I need is to finish this, have an early night and then get up tomorrow to work on the next part of this project.”

Chris, who had also let himself into Noa’s apartment slowly appeared in her field of vision, and started closing her laptop, even though she was still typing on it.

“Noa. You’re twenty two. Do what all other people your age are doing, go out clubbing - it’s Friday night, what’s one evening of fun going to do?”

She grimaced, putting her hand up to stop the lid from closing even more. “Knowing you guys, one evening of fun turns into an early morning of fun, and then a day of sleeping.”

“But you know that sleep feels so fucking good.” Chris said, poking her side. “Come on, please? You’ve been here for ages and still haven’t come out with us, cmon, you know how much fun it will be.”

The pair of guys both stared at Noa, doing their best puppy eyes. Noa glared at the two of them, before turning back to her work. Seeing as how her previous project had gone so well, she had then been given greater responsibilities on the new plans, which meant that she had to work twice as quickly to get it all done.

“Can’t, too much work.” She shot a quick apologetic smile to the two of them, before resuming her plans.

“Please Noa, you need a break, you’re going to burn yourself out.”

“Come on, you can film it too, your followers would love it.”

Since appearing on Bach and Arthur’s podcast, Noa had started a YouTube channel, uploading short videos - clips of her commuting, the world moving below her from her window, and small moments with the boys. The videos were never too long, most of them around five to ten minutes, but people seemed to enjoy them, and she had gained a somewhat healthy following.

“They love you, one of you two could film.”

“That’s not the- Noa, please. We want to spend time with you too.”

“You regularly spend time with me, you’re doing it right now.”

Chris snatched the laptop away from Noa, sprinting away as fast as his little legs could carry him. “YOU’RE COMING OUT AND THATS THE END OF IT!” He yelled, skittering into the hall and towards the elevator.

Noa threw her hands up in frustration, as well as defeat. “Fine! You win!”

“Wait, really?” Arthur asked, his face lighting up with excitement.

“Where are we going?”

“Our favourite, Coyote Ugly in Camden.”

Noa’s eyebrows raised. “You guys need to diversify your night outs.”

“You need to get changed, we’re leaving in half an hour.”

“Half an hour? Half an hour?” Noa spluttered, rising from her chair and frantically going into her bedroom, where she began to root through her wardrobe. “Thank you for the large amount of time you’ve given me to get ready.”

“I mean, you could have had an extra five minutes if you caved when we first asked.” Arthur shrugged, smiling sweetly.

Noa grabbed the item closest to her, which turned out to be a shin pad and flung it at Arthur’s head. He took that as his cue to leave.

noamurphy

liked by gkbarry_, georgeclarke and 23,492 others

noamurphy I have to take time off working apparently??? to go clubbing??? on a Friday????

comments open

bambinobecky thank god otherwise I feared you would never stop working

⮑ noamurphy committed to the grind ✍🏻

maxbalegde proper fitty x

⮑ noamurphy no you xx

chrismd10 are you finally ready

⮑ noamurphy can’t rush looking this good christopher

⮑ gkbarry_ she has a point Christopher

⮑ arthurnhill yeah Christopher

⮑ georgeclarke yeah Christopher

⮑ chrismd10 can you even walk in those

⮑ noamurphy yeah Christopher

user2 god she’s so pretty

⮑ user1 girlie is going to eat on the night out i fear

user3 George in the likes???? And comments???? What alternate universe am I in???

⮑ user4 REALLLLLLLL

“You know what?” Noa yelled over the blaring music to Chris and Arthur.

The five of them had safely made it to the club in Camden after a largely uneventful tube ride, aside from when an already tipsy ArthurTV nearly slid down the escalator handrail headfirst. Luckily, George had already grabbed his shoulders before he got any further away.

“What?”

“I’m actually enjoying myself, thanks for dragging me out!” She said, taking another swig of her drink - she wasn’t quite sure of what was in it, as Chris and George had ordered them from the bar, but nevertheless, she wouldn’t turn down a free drink.

“No worries, we’re doing this all the time!” An enthusiastic ArthurTV replied, throwing his arms around her shoulders.

“No we’re not, this is a one time special only!” She replied, gently lifting one of Arthur’s arms to loop it around George, so that she didn’t have to take the full weight of the already drunk adult.

George hadn’t been surprised when he was told that Noa had initially declined going out with them, and as much as he hated to, he had to give her credit. She was hardworking and dedicated, to say the least. - she had a better mindset and creativity than a few YouTubers he knew. And whilst she was crafting up building designs, she was filming and editing for her new and growing YouTube channel.

But what he didn’t expect was for her to appear at their door half an hour after Chris and Arthur disappeared to persuade her, wearing a black mini dress that hugged her figure perfectly. George hoped that she wouldn’t remember the way he stuttered when he first saw her, praying that she might have enough alcohol to make her forget it.

He really hoped she wouldn’t remember. He hated the idea that Noa’s presence would have any effect on him, because he really didn’t like her. George was sure of it. Didn’t like from the moment Chris and Arthur started talking about her, didn’t like her when she moved in.

So why, oh God why did she make his breath catch every time he looked at her, watching her dance effortlessly under the neon lights side by side with the Arthur’s.

As the night went on George felt himself gravitate more towards Noa, maybe it was the alcohol talking, but maybe he was starting to warm up to her. George let out a rare smile, glancing down at Noa across him, who was grinning, whilst shouting the lyrics to Cruel Summer, arm in arm with Chris.

“AND IT’S NEW! THE SHAPE OF YOUR BODY IT’S BLUE! THE FEELING I’VE GOT-“ Noa yelled, swaying to the music. Chris and Arthur were right, she definitely needed a break, and whilst maybe she would have preferred watching Lord of the Rings whilst eating an ungodly amount of popcorn, this wasn’t too bad. Though, to prevent a few in their group from having too much fun, the five decided to leave before it got too late, and then faced the arduous task of getting to the tube station with everyone in one piece.

“You’re a very attractive man…” ArthurTV slurred, holding himself up on George, which prompted him to burst out laughing at the odd outburst. “Why do you get zero women? Same goes for you Noa! Are you even dating someone?”

Noa giggled and swatted Arthur’s head. “No you idiot, you know this!” She said, skipping ahead of the pair, arm in arm with Arthur Hill.

“Well you should, y’know? George, Noa, date please and thank you.” He muttered, before turning to Chris. “Hobbit! Next weekend we get you a girlfriend!”

“How? Going to magic one into existence?” Noa teased, wiggling her fingers at the shorter man. “Scared off the Hinge date by talking about you know who too much?”

“You talked about Voldemort with a Hinge date?” Arthur screeched, pulling George into the road, trying to chase one of the light up Tuk-Tuks that was passing them.

“He means Shannon you idiot.” George chastised, pulling the brunet out of the road and harms way.

“Shannon? Fucking hell Chris, find another topic of interest.”

“Oh well fuck you lot too, and for your information Noa, it’s for a video, which I believed you agreed to help out with.”

Noa nodded sleepily, ruffling Chris’ permed hair. “Will do hobbit, will do.”

The more sober Arthur and George lead the other three into the unusually busy tube station, trying to keep everyone together as they made their to the platform.

“Hey, Arthur, we’re-we’re on a train platform,” Chris said, trying not to giggle. “New platform roulette, now?”

Noa tutted and rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t work on the tube stupid, only got like, two platforms to choose from. Need to do it at a bigger station.” She said, nodding her head enthusiastically.

Boarding the tube arm in arm, Noa collapsed next to Chris and Arthur, leaning her head on the latter’s shoulders, looking over to George and the other Arthur sitting across from them.

“Why does George hate me?” She mumbled, looking the man opposite her up and down. George was too busy on his phone to notice how Noa was gazing at him, but it wasn’t missed by the man sitting next to him.

“Huh?” Arthur mumbled, jolting awake.

“Never mind.”

“Okay.”

————————————•————————————

“Fuck.” Noa cursed, her hands covering her mouth as she spun round in the tube station, tears starting to fill her eyes. “Fuck.”

Everywhere she turned, she couldn’t spy the boys anywhere.

Panic started to creep in, as the horrific realisation began to set in, she was alone, at night, with a dead phone battery, in a part of London she didn’t know.

Noa hadn’t realised that she had been separted from the group when she stopped to complement a passing Hen Do, very taken in by the group of women all dressed as Greek Goddesses. It was about two minutes after she had started waffling about the influence of Hecate on Grecian architecture when one of the women asked her “where did those cute guys that you where with go?” did she realise that she had lost them.

Noa started chewing her thumbnail anxiously. She had no clue what to do. Whilst she had sobered up a bit, she still didn’t completely trust herself to make her way home by herself. She really wanted to cry, but she couldn’t let herself fall apart - all she had to do was think, and she could find a way out of this.

“What the big fat fuck- Noa is that you?” A wonderfully familiar Northern voice asked, causing Noa to spin on her heel, relief washing over her.

“Max?”

“Oh my god it is, I can’t believe this is how I meet you!” The excited blond yelled, tugging his boyfriend’s arm to embrace her.

“I’m so thankful you’re here you won’t believe it, I was out with the boys but I lost them and I’ve got no clue where I am and my phone is dead-“ She rambled, hugging him back.

Max’s jaw dropped. “George lost you? And didn’t stay here to look?”

“I mean it wasn’t just George, Chris and the Arthur’s were there too-“

“I can’t believe George lost you!” Max yelled, pulling his phone out. “I am going to send him many, many strongly worded messages.” He assured, pulling his phone out.

“Thanks Max, but could you maybe help me get home first?”

The blond pursed his lips and nodded, pulling her towards one of the platforms. “Of course, you look well fit too, can’t believe George left it this long to introduce us, and still he hasn’t really.”

“Yeah…” Noa agreed, smiling quickly at him. “I mean, George and I, we- we well-“

“Oh my god are you two fucking? I knew it- ANDREW I KNEW IT!” Max yelled, his jaw dropping to the floor.

“No no no- the opposite really, he actually hates me, or at least I’m pretty sure he does.”

“What the big fat fuck? But you’re gorgeous and funny? What?”

Noa blushed, batting her hand as she shrugged. “I don’t know, ever since I got here he hasn’t liked me.”

Max looked positively disgusted. “I am about to send many messages to him, and he won’t know what hit him.”

George sighed, setting his phone down on the kitchen counter. He looked across the kitchen, where Chris was pacing nervously on the phone to someone who worked at TFL, hoping they might have seen Noa.

“She’s with Max and Andrew, they found her, I think.”

“What?” Arthur asked, his head snapping up from his position on the sofa with the other Arthur. “Is she okay?” He asked, biting his lip nervously.

George shrugged. “I think so.”

Chris hung up the phone, going to join George at the kitchen counter. “You didn’t ask?”

“Max would’ve said if she wasn’t, so I guess she is.”

“Well, are they on their way back? Does she have her keys?”

“I don’t know.”

Chris had been panicking for nearly an hour about the whereabouts of his friend, lost in London, all because George was rushing to get the next tube home before ArthurTV got too zesty in public. He had called all the girls he knew in London in case they had heard anything, as well as his sister. He’d also tried to file a missing persons case, but apparently because she’d been gone less than a day, they couldn’t do anything.

He had stressed about everything that might have happened to Noa, along with the two Arthur’s. Part of him was terrified of the thought of having to tell her family the bad news, of something terrible that happened to her on his account.

So, when one of his best friends couldn’t care about her, he snapped.

“GEORGE! For once in your life give a shit! I don’t care that you’re not best friends with Noa, but you could at least care that she hasn’t been stabbed, or worse whilst alone in the tube station, which, was your fault!”

Chris was nearly shaking with anger, and he was a little happy at himself the way George looked at him in surprise.

“Chris-“

“George I’ve known Noa basically all my life, she is like a sister to me, and the fact that you don’t seem to care about that, is a massive fucking fuck you in my eyes.” Chris took a deep breath. “So, the second Noa gets back, I’m making sure she’s fine, then I’m going to sleep on her couch to make sure I don’t do anything stupid, and then I’m going to continue this conversation, when I’m fully sober and have had sleep. Sound good?”

George, who had practically gone into shock, simply nodded and gulped nervously.

The two Arthur’s couldn’t help but watch from the sofa, the pair of them exchanging glances. The room had descended into silence, which was broken a few minutes later by a knock on the door.

Chris practically ran across the room to throw the door open, and immediately pulled Noa into the tightest hug he could muster.

“I’m okay Chris, I’m okay.” She reassured, holding him close as the pair rocked back and forth.

“I was so worried.” He muttered, pulling back, so he could check her over for injuries.

“I was fine, Max and Andrew got me to the right tube station, and I’m here, all in one piece.”

Chris nodded, sighing in relief.

“Oh, yeah, can I stay round yours tonight?”

Noa nodded, even though she was slightly taken aback why. Though, after a glance into the apartment, seeing the sullen face of George staring sullenly at his phone, and the shocked but relieved faces of both Arthur’s, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened.

“Of course, go grab your stuff.”

The hangover wouldn’t be the only painful thing that they’d all have to endure tomorrow.

[darling-i-read-it]

Harrington's Sister

Billy Hargrove x Harrington!fem!reader

Word Count: 5.6k

Warnings: fighting (blood, stitching), reader and billy sneaking around and making out lol, lots of smoking, drinking, parties, lots of drunk characters running around 

Author’s Note: If you recognize this one you probably read ‘Harrington’ in 2020! This is the updated version of that and also the longest thing I’ve posted on this blog too date! What can I say, my love for Billy possesses me and takes over. 

Disclaimer: While this is set during season 2, I don’t condone Billy’s actions in that season in the slightest. He’s an asshole and racist and has done inexcusable things. Whenever I write for him I am writing for a version of him that could’ve been better had the world around him been expanded more! 

Original Request: by anon, hello! I love all of your recent content and I was wondering if you could write a billy hargrove x harrington!reader? something like they’re in a make out session and they get caught? or literally anything if you’re not comfortable with that. thank you x

(not my gif)

You leaned against Steve’s car, looking down at your wristwatch. He was late. Again. You had homework to do and the longer he took the longer you would be up working. You weren’t willing to pull an all-nighter before the test you had tomorrow in first period. 

You looked around the bustling crowd of people for your older brother. He was only older by 10 months. The Harrington’s ‘two kids and done’ rule was over within two years, which prompted you and Steve to be so close in age. 

You pushed yourself off the side of his car and wondered if Nancy had left yet. She was probably with Steve if she hadn’t. You might be able to find him, or at least get a ride from her. You had a grueling ethics essay that needed your attention and you knew that if the motivation went away you wouldn’t be able to retain it soon enough to get it done. 

You started to look through the parking lot, filled with high schoolers who couldn’t drive for the life of them, for Nancy’s car. You didn’t dare enter the roadways with everyone leaving. You slithered between some parked cars and ran right into Billy Hargrove who was opening up the driver's door to his camaro. 

“Woah there,” he said out of reflex, holding his hands to stop your momentum. Your breath hitched from the distraction. You were surprised to see him still around. Usually he was the first out of the parking lot, his car screeching as it made sharp turns. 

“Sorry,” you breathed out. You tried to go around him but his car door was still in the way. 

“Have you seen Max?” he asked. He knew you were often around his sister, or at least Steve was. 

“No. Have you seen Steve?” 

“No,” he grumbled. He looked above your head. You weren’t sure if he was looking for his sister or your brother but you didn’t move out of his way. “I’m supposed to take her to the arcade.” He wasn’t sure why he was telling you this. Perhaps it was because you were so off limits that he couldn’t help but be fond of you. Maybe it was because you were the only person in front of him who could listen. It was probably because you were in similar predicaments. 

“Yeah well I have to do homework and Steve has the car keys,” you responded. He met your eyes. “If you see him will you yell at him?” 

“I always do sweetheart.” You pursed your lips and pushed past him, trying to ignore the heat rising to your face. Billy Hargrove was the worst kind of guy. Steve hated him and you didn’t blame him. He was an asshole to everyone around him and a delinquent in the most traditional form. 

But you couldn’t help but feel some sort of attraction towards him. It was likely rooted in the hatred Steve had for him, the natural urge to defy your older brother. You avoided him as best you could because you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him for longer than you could stand him. 

You saw Steve standing beside Nancy’s car and you ran up to him, shaking off the small interaction for nothing more than it was. Small. 

-

Billy wouldn’t say he went out of his way to see you but he did park right next to Steve’s car for a reason. When you approached it at the end of the school day he was already there, waiting, a cigarette dancing between his fingers. 

“Where’s Harrington?” Billy questioned. You went to open the passenger door to ignore this conversation but of course it was locked. 

“I’m Harrington,” you argued. You turned around. There was no getting out of this one. 

“Steve,” he corrected. He gestured with his two fingers back at the school. “Caught up with Wheeler again?” “Getting things from his locker. At least told me he would be longer today.” Billy pushed himself off the side of his car gently, not wanting to leave any kind of scruff on it. You were so close just by the sheer nature of the car’s being parked beside each other. You swallowed hard. 

“Max skipped today,” he said, voice low. “I could take you back if you don’t wanna wait.”

“Now why would you do that?” you questioned. You crossed your arms defensively. You hoped that putting some more space between you two would make it easier to deny him. 

“Out of the kindness of my heart.”

“You have a heart?”

“You’re welcome to come check for a pulse.” You narrowed your eyes at him, a sly smile playing on your face. You were close enough to touch him and though you knew you shouldn’t, you wanted to make him think you were bolder than you were. You put your hand flat on his chest. He had his red shirt half unbuttoned. You were touching his skin with your fingers spread out. You made a face like you were thinking, contemplating the heart within him. 

“Feels faint. You should get that checked out Hargrove.” He was looking at you with eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite place. Lust? Adoration? Thrill? 

“You probably got a better grade in bio than I did. I’ll take your word for it.” You looked behind him, trying to find Steve among the crowd of dissipating students. “What harm will it do?” he asked, like he could read your mind. 

You met his eyes again. 

“You got a piece of paper?” 

He went and shuffled through his dashboard for something to write on. He found a napkin and you pulled a pen out of your bag. 

Found another ride

Sister

You put the napkin underneath the windshield wipers. Then you got in the passenger seat of Billy Hargrove’s car. You could smell the cologne he wore everyday, like he had spilled it on the carpet and it never came out. When he started the car music erupted from the speakers, Van Halen you were fairly sure. He pulled out of the parking spot, almost hitting someone, and then screeched through the lot to the exit. 

You tried to hide the thrill in your chest. You shouldn’t be this excited to be in his car, to be on the other end of watching him leave the school. You were victim to something every other girl in the near vicinity was - feeling a pull towards the bad boy. You wanted to be better or at least be different but he had this routine locked down. He knew exactly what he was doing when he turned the music down to look at you. You wondered if the eyes he was making were part of his line, to reel you in. 

“Which way am I turning?” he questioned, lowly. You pointed up towards the next street. 

“Right. Then the second left.” He nodded. He took the turn too sharply. Despite his recklessness, you felt safe in the car with him. It’s like his own belief that he was invincible had worn off on you. “Thank you for taking me.” You had no real need to be home sooner. You would’ve been fine waiting for Steve. But you found you were better now that you were with Billy. 

“No problem sweetheart.” 

You drove in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes. You were surprised to find him not throwing out line after line. Maybe this was his thing. Make you want him more than he wanted you so that giving in felt like his choice. He had the music turned up more, tapping on the steering wheel. 

“Right up here.” There was an ease in the air that was only encouraged by the slight summer air from the windows. Billy rolled his down a bit to get the airflow. The sunrays were burning up your thighs. You squirmed, trying to get them out of the direct light. “That house.” 

You knew the drive was gonna be short but you still found yourself wishing you had led him elsewhere. Some sort of long route to have a reason to stay with him. He pulled up in front of your house, looking up at it. 

You followed his gaze, trying to see it how he would. 

There was a gentle silence. 

“You wanna go get something to ea-”

“Yes,” you finished. You had seen that charming smile on his face, one that he gave when he knew he got what he wanted. He reached in front of you and grabbed a cigarette pack out of the front compartment. He pushed one out with his finger and placed it between his teeth. 

“You know your brother probably wouldn’t want you in my car.”

“I think I’m a big girl who can make decisions for herself. Don’t you?” The smile grew, all teeth. He had raised his eyebrow slightly, like he was assessing the situation and knew how it would end. 

“Let’s get something to eat.”

He had never turned off the car. He pushed down on the gas. 

-

Something about Billy was so easy. The foundation of your relationship had been built on secrecy, which made it so alluring. Maybe the two of you were just destined to continue some sort of doomed circle of attraction. Whatever the reason, you weren’t about to let go. 

Billy and you stuck to sneaking around after school, ignoring each other during it. You would often pretend to have a study group, which was believable. You would also make up some story about sleeping over at a friends, which was less so, but you saved that for special occasions. 

Sneaking around with Billy was the most scandalous thing you had done. You were willing to bet it wasn’t the most scandalous thing he had done. But for some reason he stuck around, never giving you a hint of wanting to be somewhere else. 

The inside of the Camaro had become a comfort. You started to know the grooves of the car, the way the passenger door stuck or the dim lighting of the overhead bulbs. 

You pushed the rearview mirror back so that you could see your face. You fixed your hair, messy from an afternoon well spent. Billy snuck a hand onto your thigh. You eyed him evenly.

“Down boy,” you whispered.

He scoffed, his tongue coming out in his smile. He removed his hand obediently but not after a pat. You adjusted the seat you were in so it wasn’t reclining anymore. You looked back at yourself in the mirror, surprised to see you were grinning. It was like you couldn’t help it. 

You glanced out the window out of habit. You were parked on the side of a highway ten miles outside of Hawkins. You knew there were almost no chances of Steve finding you out here, but the adrenaline of the almost kept you looking. 

“Harrington isn’t gonna find us out here. Relax princess.” You gave him a narrow look. “Steve isn’t gonna find us out here.” You nodded once and relaxed back into your seat. He placed a toothpick between his teeth. 

“You never know. He likes to be spontaneous.” 

Billy was so used to sneaking around. Usually it was with girls he didn’t want to be seen with. It was rooted in selfish reasons, almost every time. Almost. He found that sneaking around with you was more exhilarating. Was it because of Steve or had Billy Hargrove actually found himself in love? 

The mere thought made him want to pull away from the situation but he stayed, too stubborn to fight even himself. 

“Would it be so bad if he caught us?” Billy asked. You placed your elbow on the dash between you, holding your chin in your hand. 

“He’d kill you,” you whispered. He looked up at you, the smile on his face creeping wider. 

“I’d like to see him try,” he whispered back, a surprising amount of sincerity in his voice. 

-

“You sure you don’t need a ride today?” Steve was following close behind you. You were weaving through the crowd of rushing students. 

“I’m sure. Thank you though.” If you weren’t so wound up in the heat of the relationship you might’ve still had Steve take you back a couple times a week. Most of the time you were skipping the last period with Billy or you had him taking you home before Steve ever left the school. 

It had been almost a month that you and Billy had been sneaking around. Nancy wasn’t really cutting it anymore, in the way of excuses. She was your friend but she was also your brothers girlfriend so you couldn’t exactly confide in her where you were spending all of your hopeless afternoons. 

You emerged into the parking lot. You both stopped. 

“Where are you going today?”

“Study group.”

“For which class?”

“Chemistry.” He narrowed his eyes on you.

“With who?” 

“Steve I don’t appreciate this line of questioning.” He searched your face for a weakness. You had none. “Tell mom I’ll be back before dinner.” You could tell he wanted to argue but had nothing to back himself up with. “Goodbye Steve.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You wound me. Goodbye Steve.” 

“Are you still going to the party tonight at Thompsons?” 

“Yeah. I’ll be back in plenty of time for that,” you promised. He nodded once, suspiciously. 

He started to back up and ran right into someone. With his flurry of apologies you were able to sneak away. You walked around the back of the school, searching in your bag for the cigarette you had stolen from Billy that morning. You found it after a moment. You fought with your lighter for a moment before placing it between your lips and landing between buildings next to the racetrack. 

Billy was already there. 

“Where’d you get that?” he asked, gesturing to your lips. You took it between your fingers to leave a chaste kiss on his mouth. 

“Found it in my boyfriend's car.” 

“Shouldn’t be dating a guy that smokes. Bad for you,” he hummed, taking it from you. “How was your day sweetheart?” You shrugged. 

“I’m skipping PE next time. I’d rather be caught dead than in that locker room again.”

“You girls have it easy. You can feign a broken nail.”

“Don’t be a douche.” You took your cigarette back. “You act like you ever come to PE.”

“Basketball counts towards my PE elective,” he promised. “I spend plenty of time in the locker rooms.” You raised an eyebrow. 

“Slightly suggestive Hargrove. What are you doing in the locker room that long?” He rolled his eyes. 

“We’re even now.” You nodded once. He approached you and you slung your hands over his shoulders. Smoke emerged from behind him, trailing from the cig. He leaned forward and kissed you. You were addicted to kissing him. He permanently tasted like beer and bad decisions. You wondered lazily if the nicotine on his lips added to your dependency. “You comin to the party tonight?”

“Yup,” you promised. You hadn’t gotten to see Billy break Steve’s keg record in person yet and the sheer idea of it got you excited. When he kissed you again he was smiling. His hands wandered from your hips at the sound of your moan against his lips. 

“I just need to grab something from the locker room.” 

Your eyes shot straight open at the sound of a familiar voice coming down the alley. You pushed Billy off of you, leaving you against the wall heaving, a cigarette still burning between your fingers. 

Steve was at the end of the alley, Nancy trailing behind him. She had a firm grip on her bookbag and at the sight of you her jaw set. You could barely even look at Steve but for the sake of everyone, you met his eyes. His eyes fueled immediately with anger. 

“What the fuck are you doing here with my sister Hargrove?” he demanded. Billy was looking ridiculously guilty, the red from your kisses still on his face. 

“I think you know what I was doing here with your sister Harrington.” 

Steve stomped forward in anger, eager to put his fists to use. You rushed between them, putting your hand against Billy’s chest and facing Steve. 

“Steve, calm down.” 

“Is this where you’ve been going every afternoon? You haven’t been studying at all. You’ve been with Billy Hargrove?” A defeated look went over your face. Steve shook his head in betrayal. “Why would you lie to me?” 

“Because I knew you’d react like this!” 

“Because you were making out with Billy Hargrove!” he repeated. 

“I can make my own decisions!” “Clearly not good ones!” Nancy grabbed Steve’s arm, pulling him gently backwards. He didn’t shake her off. 

“Let it go Harrington,” Billy said. Steve lurched forward and Billy walked in front of you, blocking you. You grabbed his shoulder, pulling him backwards. 

“Alright alright,” you muttered. “You need to go cool off Steve.” 

“She’s right,” Nancy said. She looked at Steve with an even gaze. 

“I’ll see you at the party?” you questioned, eager to have this confrontation end. Steve had a hard look on his face, clearly not wanting to exit this conversation. He didn’t answer which was an answer. You’d see him at the party. Steve kept his gaze on Billy until Nancy forced him to turn around. 

The tension dissipated when he left. 

“Jesus,” you muttered. 

“Told you it wouldn’t be that bad.” You hit his shoulder, rolling your eyes. He scoffed, feigning hurt. He threw an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him by bending his elbow towards your neck. “I get you for a couple more hours then?”

“Seems like it,” you said optimistically. 

“Let’s go get ready for that party then, hm sweetheart?” 

-

You had been to parties before but you only ever went with Steve. You would usually lose him right after you arrived but end up having to drive him home before midnight. He always swore not to get drunk which absolutely meant he was sure to. 

Going with Billy was different. He took you back to his place, somewhere you had never been before. He had you climb in through the window of his room, laughing as he hoisted you up. You threw clothes at him, knowing you weren’t about to wear your school clothes out. He had nothing in the way of girl clothes but helped you sneak into his step moms room when she and his dad went out. 

“Your mom only has mom clothes,” you said, going through her coat hangers. 

“Step-mom,” he corrected. He was looking in the mirror of her vanity, adjusting his hair. You reached into the back, something that felt like it hadn’t been touched since they moved in. You pulled out a dress, though you weren’t sure it was gonna fit. You hummed, wondering if you could find a pair of scissors to make it work. He came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He put his head on your shoulder. 

“What about this one?” you asked, holding the fabric in your hands. “I could make it a crop top or maybe a short dress. Some sort of jacket…” you hummed in consideration. 

“Whatever you want. I’m sure she won’t miss it.”

He grabbed you some scissors and you made it your own, satisfied that you were able to go out in it. Then you were back in his car, the music far too loud, and the night air coming in through the cracked windows. By the time you arrived at the Thompsons residence the party had already started. You could hear the music from the car and could see the half drunk people loitering around the deck. Billy got out of the car, surveying the area, and was immediately noticed by one of the basketball players you didn’t recognize. 

You followed him inside, his hand remaining in yours as he dragged you along through the crowd. You kept crashing into people but he kept your hands together, dependent on your touch. You emerged near the punch bowl that was almost certainly not punch. 

“We should’ve pregamed,” you muttered. The smile that came over his face was mischievous and alluring. He had opted only to wear his black leather jacket to the party, not bothering with a shirt underneath. The amount of people there required you to be so close you were almost touching, not that you minded. 

“I’ll drink enough to say we did,” he promised. He leaned over, giving you a sloppy kiss that tasted like whatever was in this punch. You hummed, melting into his touch. He held you up with a hand on your hip. 

When he pulled away he was already dragging you outside. You emerged through the sliding glass doors. You were surprised at the burst of cold air, despite the fact that there were maybe more people out there than there had been inside. It was like the entire senior class was here. 

“Hey Hargrove!” one of the basketball players called. You thought maybe his name was Travis but you weren't sure enough to call out to him. You knew it started with a T. “We’ve been saving this one for you!” Travis slapped the metal keg on the ground. You scoffed, looking at it in dismay. You would have one hell of a headache in the morning after that. Billy whistled at the sight of it. He let go of your hand and you couldn’t hear his voice over the people trying to talk to him. You crossed your arms, watching with curious eyes as someone made the deliberation on who would get to lift him up over it. 

You shook your head in amazement. Billy looked back at you, a reckless smile on his face. You raised your eyebrows at his gaze. He gestured to the keg. 

“Show me how it’s done!” you called. The smile on his face grew. The cockiness of it edged at the lines of his lips. He looked ridiculously good. 

He let two people lift him over it. 

You had practically forgotten about Steve. It seemed like he was a whole other universe of issues. Right now it was just you and Billy and the hundred other seniors that were around. There were not many thoughts going through your head as you watched Billy, the pull towards him suddenly undeniable. 

“Where’d you get that outfit?” 

Steve broke your thoughts. You turned to find him standing beside you. You hadn’t even noticed him approaching.

“None of your business.”

“Mom’s pissed. She made you dinner.”

“Don’t act like you don’t skip dinner all the time.” Your voice would’ve been a mutter had it not been so loud. People had started chanting, counting down, screaming Billy’s name. 

“You’re making a mistake!” Steve called over everyone. “He’s not a good guy!” 

“Some could say you aren’t either!” 

It was a slightly low blow, making him think about the things he had said and done just last year. 

“He won’t change!” Steve argued. 

They put Billy down, cheering followed. 

“Keg King prevails!” someone yelled, slapping him on the back. Billy wiped his face aggressively, yelling along with them. He turned around, completely blind to Steve, and kissed you as hard as could. You could still taste the beer on his lips, his breath aching of it. The cheering continued, only intensified at the kiss. 

You could’ve sat there forever if Steve hadn’t pulled him off you by the shoulder. 

Billy, hyped on adrenaline, turned to face your brother. He still had a hand on you but quickly let go when he noticed who had pulled him away. He puffed his chest. 

“You gonna tell me to stay away from your sister Harrington?” 

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m gonna tell you.” You became aware that most people were watching this unfold. Their eyes hadn’t left Billy. He seemed to do one entertaining thing after the next. 

“Why don’t you make me?” 

“Okay guys-” you started but was cut off by Steve throwing a punch. You gasped, not expecting actual violence to ensue. Billy, always eager to use his fists, didn’t hesitate to fight back. He pushed Steve against the sliding glass door, shattering it. Your eyes went wide, unsure how to even handle this. 

People were cheering and groaning on Steve’s behalf. 

Steve scrambled up, throwing his whole body at Billy. 

“I’m not drunk enough for this,” you muttered. You rushed to follow them as they took the fight in the house. You hadn’t been here for ten minutes before you were sure the police would be called. 

Billy staggered, throwing a punch that missed. Steve grabbed a lamp off the counter and hit him with it. 

“Okay! Okay that’s enough!” You pushed through the people, trying to get in between them. Before you could Billy hit Steve with a china plate that was on display in the corner of the room. You winced, watching your brother crumble against the kitchen counter. You threw yourself between them, pushing Billy back. He had a crazed adrenaline pumping look in his eyes. 

You shoved him back, gently and then turned back to Steve who was struggling to stand. You found Nancy in the crowd, who heard the commotion. She was drunk, you could tell in her eyes, but not enough to not understand what was going on. She helped you help Steve up. 

“It’s time to go home,” you said, evenly. Nancy wasn’t sober enough to drive. “I’ll call you a cab or something.” 

“I’ll make him wait outside and think about his actions,” Nancy muttered. The event cleared her head quickly. “I’ve got it.” 

“No, no, you don’t get to leave here with him. He’s not good for you!” Steve exclaimed. 

“Steve, I can make my own decisions!” You turned to Nancy. “You got him?” She nodded, swallowing hard. He had a cut down his forehead but it looks superficial. Plus, if anyone was capable, it was Nancy Wheeler. 

“But-” Steve started.

“You can’t protect me forever,” you said, cutting him off. He met your eyes and pursed his lips. “Go home.” 

“You too.” 

He followed Nancy out. When you turned around Billy was breathing hard. He was being spoken to in all directions. You turned back to him and noticed that the lamp had gotten the side of his head good. His hair was starting to turn red on the left side of his head. 

You were going to speak when you heard someone scream. 

“Police!” 

You breathed out sharply. You weren’t prepared for this much excitement. You grabbed Billy’s arm who in turn, led you out the back. Everyone was running and you could barely see him in the dark with his black leather jacket on. He jumped the neighbors fence without a second thought. You followed close behind until you returned back to the car where you had come from. You had parked down the street a bit, which ended up being your saving grace in the night. You could see the police lights back at the house, not even a block away. 

Billy unlocked the car. 

“You are not driving,” you exclaimed, voice sharp. 

“I’m fine,” he responded, voice rushed. 

“You are the opposite of fine,” you grumbled, grabbing the keys from him. “Passenger seat.” He didn’t move. “Now!” You weren’t sure if it was the pain or the alcohol but he listened to you. He got into the passenger seat of the camaro. You started the car, cursing gently as it revved. You backed up and pulled away in the opposite direction from the Thompsons.

The music turned on naturally but it was a silent rumble to the heavy breathing you both were exhaling. 

It took five minutes for either of you to speak. 

“We need to get your head looked at,” you said, now that you were able to see and think straight. He nodded. 

“I’ve got a first aid kit in the back.” 

“Why do you have a first aid kit in the back?” 

“You’d be surprised how often this happens.”

“You used to stitching yourself up?” “I find bandaids work just fine.” You rolled your eyes. You didn’t want to go back to your house, knowing it’s likely where Nancy took Steve. You hoped they had made it home safe and weren’t victims of the police raid. You didn’t want to take Billy back to his place, knowing you had stolen his step moms shirt and unsure how they would react to finding him like this. 

You pulled over onto the side of the highway. It was only 10. It wasn’t completely deserted but the traffic had eased enough for you to be comfortable pulling aside. You climbed into the backseat, rummaging around his jackets. You found the first aid kit and then returned to the driver's seat. Billy was breathing evenly. You found a ghost of a smile on his face. 

You opened up the kit and placed it on your lap before looking back up at him. 

“Stay still,” you muttered. He did as he was told. You moved his hair aside to find the actual wound. He was bleeding from his noise from a punch but that didn’t look broken, just bruised. It was the open wound that worried you. You seethed. It didn’t look deep but it didn’t look good. 

“You good sweetheart?” You rolled your eyes. 

“Yeah I’m fine.” You looked down at the kit and grabbed some wet wipes, trying to clear the blood away. He winced. 

“How are you doin sweetheart?” you teased. He scoffed. 

“I’m alright,” he promised. You worked in silence for a moment. 

“You didn’t have to do that.” 

“Yes I did. He wanted a fight. He got one.” You couldn’t deny the truth in his statement. Steve would’ve fought him eventually. “And I won.” He turned his head to meet your eyes. “I get to keep you.” You flushed, narrowing your eyes at him. 

“What makes you think I wanna keep you? Now that we aren’t sneaking around anymore?” 

“You're covered in my blood,” he muttered. Your hands were stained with it. You hadn’t even noticed.

“Point taken.” You cleared your throat. “It doesn’t need stitches. You got lucky.”

“Can’t say the same for Steve.” You suddenly thought of the sound of the plates hitting Steve’s head. You winced on his behalf. He adjusted himself. “I need a shower.”

“You want me to take you home?” 

“No. Don’t wanna face my dad quite yet.”

“Well we can’t go back to my house. Steve is almost surely there.” 

“Then we’ll stay here till we know my dad’s asleep,” he muttered. You nodded and eased in your chair. There was a beat of silence. 

“No one’s ever done anything like that for me before Hargrove.” 

“I like being the first,” he muttered. His hair was fucked up and he had dried blood on his face and bags under his eyes but you had never been more attracted to him. 

“Poor Tammy Thompson. She’s got a broken backdoor, the police and broken lamps,” you whispered. You hadn’t realized your voice had gone down but it felt appropriate for the vibe of the moment. 

“Shouldn’t have had kegs there,” he shrugged. You smiled. 

“Fair.” You saw his eyes drooping in exhaustion. You held your chin in your hand. He had rested his head against the back of his seat. “I think I wanna keep you,” you whispered. He smiled weakly. 

“Good to hear.” You leaned forward, kissing him chastley, to which he responded easily. You placed your hand gently on his cheek, trailing down his skin. He shuddered against your touch. 

You rested your forehead against his. 

You met each other's eyes and a guilty smile played on his lips.

“What?” you whispered, giggling. 

“Nothing,” he promised. “Nothing.” 

Billy Hargrove had fallen in love. But he had no intention of telling you that. Not quite yet.

[svnaaaaaa]

Paper Rings - Lando Norris Imagine (one shot)

pairing : lando norris x fem reader

summary : based on taylor swift's paper rings.

warning(s) : fluffy, mention of sex

masterlist

author's note : so hi, i now wanting to try writing new things n this being one of them. hope you enjoy it! this is me being excited for this week's grand prix eventhough lando isn't in his best position.

The moon is high

Like your friends were the night that we first met

it was that one of the nights where my friend took me out to a club where only elites are allowed to enter. i don't know how but i am enjoying this. as i stood by the bar, attending to my drinks, i could feel stares on me but i didn't know which directions because the club itself is kinda full so yeah, how could i notice it.

then i felt my hand being grabbed and pulled. i look at it and it was my friend who brought me here, fay. "come y/n, i want you to meet my boyfriend!" fay said excitedly as she pulled me away from the bar and into mindless direction that myself could recollect.

then i felt we stopped and i saw a bunch of guys right in front of me. a bunch of hot guys. "hey baby." one of them spoke up and fay let go of my hand to go and hug the guy. "this is y/n, my friend. y/n, this is carlos." fay introduced as carlos held out his hand. "nice to finally meet you, fay has been nonstop talking about me meeting you." carlos said as he chuckled and me included. "same." i replied shortly. then i felt the same stare again.

i looked at my left and saw a curly haired guy with green eyes.

Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet

as the night goes on, i finally found out the guy's name. it was lando norris, under mclaren, as he used to be a teammate to carlos before carlos moved to ferrari.

lando and i talked for hours and i found him quite charming, yes i enjoyed his company. "so are you coming to the race tomorrow?" lando asked as we sat next to each other, in the corner reserved for the formula 1 drivers.

i nodded my head yes. "i might say hi to you also." i replied to him as i could see his eyes brighten up. his smile, oh his smile is so captivating!

later that night, carlos sent fay and i back to our hotel room as i entered the room, carlos and fay were talking at the front door. me minding my own business, went into the bathroom and take a warm, late night shower to rid off the sweat from the club. not that i want to sleep with ickiness of my skin from going outside.

after i finished showering, fay already on her bed, playing with her phone. "are you sleepy?" fay asked me as i finished dressed up into my shorts and tank top. "yea, aren't you?" i asked while going onto my hotel bed. fay nodded her head slowly. she's terribly sleepy lol. i smiled weakly and turn off the light on my side. "night fay, tomorrow's a big day." i said to her but not hearing any replies. 'must be really sleepy then.' i thought to myself and grabbed my phone from my night stand.

curious about lando himself, i googled his name and there were numerous results from searching his name. 'oh he's british-belgian, didn't notice that on him.' monologues to myself until i bumped into his youtube channel.

let's just say i have 20% knowledge about him from watching his youtube channel videos.

Now I've read all of the books beside your bed

after the race, me and fay separated as i went to the side of the stage where lando did his fan stage alongside with the mclaren's team. 'wow, the crowd really loves him.' i looked at him from the side and smiled warmly. he looked back and saw me, waving shyly as i waved back.

later that day, i followed him back to his hotel room as the sexual tension between us were rising up. as we went out of our clothes, assisting each other, i gotta be honest though, that was my first time being this close to a guy.

yes, i am a virgin. was a virgin.

lando was in shower after we did it. he asked me to shower together but i declined as i want to attend to my sore. being a virgin who never had an intercourse did take a toll on me. i looked at lando's night stand and saw books on his night stand. i took it and look at the book cover.

lando went out of the bathroom and saw me with the book in my hands. i looked up at him and he smiled sweetly at me. "you wanna read the book together with me?"

later that night, we went into bed really late due to wanting to finished the book together but ended up snoozing with me wrapped in lando's arms and me holding the book to my chest.

The wine is cold

Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street

days turn to weeks. weeks turn to months. months turn to years. it has been three years since lando and i first met. we started to lived into an apartment together in monaco because of formula 1. i don't mind about being a fulltime wag if i can be with lando all the time, giving the supports that he needs. aside being a fulltime wag, i am also a part time tutor where i teach english to children here in monaco.

lately, lando and i have been distancing ourselves due to my schedule of being a tutor and him busy training for the next grand prix. we barely spend time together and rarely have time to sit and chat during dinner like we used to. until one day, i felt his side of the bed being cold as to he didn't went into bed last night, the previous night and also the night before.

the tension between us started to get cold like how the water in the shower room felt like and soon all i know was i want to give lando a silent treatment until he burst his bubble first.

Cat and mouse for a month or two or three

me and lando has been off with each other for completely three months and three months since i left monte carlo to come back to london because of my mom fell into sickness.

before left woking, i just sent him a message and never received any replies for couples of days until a week later, i received numerous phone calls from lando. but i never answered to any of them until one day i purposely left my phone at my mom's home and just went to the hospital like my usual routine of taking care of my mom.

it has been like that for three months and i just let it be and thinking that me and lando weren't meant to be because instead of calling, would it hurt him to sacrifice a practice to come and find me here in london? but no, it was all a wishful thinking.

mom started to get a bit better and allowed to go home but still need medical assistance. as i parked my car in front of my mom's house, i saw someone familiar at the front door. "sweetie, isn't that lando?" mom asked me as i glared at his direction. "let's just ignore him mom." i told her and turned off the engine. lando saw my car and he stood up from the front door pavement. i got out of my car and went to mom's side to assist her to go inside the house, ignoring lando as if he isn't there. as we approaching the front door, lando smiled weakly at my mom as i just looked down, not wanting to see him after three months away. "hello mrs l/n, good to see you this well." lando said. i looked for keys in my bag as i heard my mom replied chatting with lando.

got the key and i immediately unlock the front door. "come on in lando." mom asked him to enter the house as i rolled my eyes but not to my mom. lando was the last one to enter the house while my mom take a seat of the sofa of the living room and i went back to the car to grab things from the hospital that i brought to mom when she first admitted to the hospital. "let me help you." i heard lando's voice behind me. as i gruntly say, "no need to, just need to you to go away from me." lando sighed at my reply.

"look, i am sorry for everything. i miss you, i miss us." lando said as i sighed and slammed shut the car door. i looked at him in the eye. he did the same. "i love you y/n. i want to stay with you forever." lando said as he shyly held out his hand to grabbed mine. with me not reacting, he wrapped his hand in mine and i just look at our clasped hands.

"i miss us too lan, but promise me to never do this again."

"cross my heart and hope to die."

Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

now back at monaco, lando hired a caregiver for my mom and by far, the caregiver has given me an approval to leave mom entrusted into her hands. at first i was a bit hesitate to leave because my mom is the only person i have left but with lando convincing that my mom would be fine with this caregiver, i was ready to go back to monaco.

"y/n!" i heard lily's voice as i turned back and saw lily approaching me with open arms. it was bahrain gp so i get to see other wags to hang out with aside from fay. "lily! i missed you so much!" i said while giving her a hug. "me too, how's your mom by the way?" "she's fine, i'm glad she's getting better day by day." i explained to lily as we saw numerous of fan waving towards us. lily and i waved and smiled to them as we continue on with our conversation.

after the race, lando and i hang out in the resting room while lando taking a rest before move back to our hotel room. he was resting on a sofa in a sitting up position but leaning on me as i just watching him sleep.

he looks so angelic and i can't believe he's mine.

Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night

(Oh) Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright

Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life

(One, two, one, two, three, four)

it is finally a day off for lando and we are back in monaco. lando told me that he just want to stay in the apartment quietly, enjoying each other's company. i smiled to the idea but unfortunately, i have a night class at the tutor center so i left home at 4pm and will be home by 10.

"miss l/n, aren't you lando norris' girlfriend?" one of my students, lisa i believe asked me after we finished the class later that night. i looked up to her and smile sweetly while my hands were busying tidy up the mess on my table. "why yes i am." i replied as i could see a bright shining light in her eyes. "could you ask for a sign from oscar? i am a huge fan of him!" lisa exclaimed as she giggled at me, causing me to laughed a bit from her antics. "i'll try but i can't promise you on that though." "it's fine, i won't blame you for it."

park my car at my designated spot at the apartment complex, i could feel my back ache as i stretched up right after i got out from my car. 'what was lando up to, i hope he doesn't sleep all day.' i thought to myself as i got all my stuffs from my car and headed to my home sweet home with my sweet boy.

as i unlock the front door, i saw the house seemed clean. then i entered the house and saw lando leaning at the dining table, looking forward for me to be impressed by him. to be honest, i am impressed but i won't let him know that. "you like it?" lando asked ad he went towards me and hugged me tightly while leaning to kiss the top of my head. i wrapped my arms around him after dropping my stuffs at the front door as i inhaled his scent on his t-shirt. "i love it babe." i mumbled into his chest covered t-shirt. then i looked up at him and he leaned into my lips and peck it. i smiled into the small peck and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into a long kiss.

"i love you lando norris."

"i love you too future mrs. norris."

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want, and

lando and i were walking around the mall, looking for birthday presents for lando's mom, cisca's birthday.

we were walking hand in hand until i felt lando letting go of my hand and i turned back around to see what makes him stop. he stood in front of a jewelry store, a high-end ones, tiffany and co.

i looked up at lando and he was looking at me, grinning on that boyish face of him. before i could protest, he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind his back. "lando, what are you doing?" i asked in whispering, not wanting to cause chaos. lando who didn't reply to my question, just approaching to the display table full of jewelries from rings to bracelets to necklaces. i was mesmerized by the glittering of each accessories, not realizing that lando was staring at me the whole time until i heard him saying, "you like it?" lando asked smiling as the store assistant was looking at me and lando. probably judging on how we dressed to be in this luxury store, with both of us dressed in hoodies and sweatpants.

"lando," i started as i looked at him in his eyes. "i like it but what for?" i asked him as he turned his head and looked at the display of rings, ignoring me. "can i see that one?" lando asked pointing at the specific diamond ring with a three diamond stones design on it. as the assistant gave lando the ring, he held it out to me, asking me to try it on. not wanting to embarrassed him in front of the store assistant, i took the ring and slipped onto my ring finger. it fits perfectly. i admired it, wishing it could be mine but even my salary couldn't afford to buy this.

i pulled it out and gave it back to the store assistant. i looked back at lando and he keep on smiling at my way. "you like it?" lando asked, i shyly nodded my head yes as i grabbed his hand this time and pulled him out of the store. "never do that again please, you almost give me a heart attack!" i said to him as he pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. "just doing a little survey, there' nothing harm right?" he's right.

"but still, if you planned on purposing, i would have accept you even if you give me a paper ring." i said then kissed his lips.

"or a ring pop."

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want

2022 miami grand prix was the devastating race for both me and lando. it scared me the most because i am not a person who's into violance or action movies or whatever it is related to crashing things up.

and seeing lando being into an accident during race really trigger me up. one of the tires were come off from the car and there were sparks of fire, luckily it didn't ignited a fire. his car were placed at the site of the circuit as yellow flags were waved, i just stood in the waiting room, hoping that he is fine.

"lando norris is out of the race." commentator announced and i was sad.

after that, lando came into the waiting room and saw me in the room. i opened up my arms and allow him come into my arms as he wrapped his arms around my waist. i pat his back and whisper sweet nothings into his ears.

"i am happy that you're okay and you're still the one i want nevertheless."

In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams

Oh, you're the one I want

it was racing time in barcelona. on his 10th lap, one of the strategists called out for me to come to where the control station goes on. "here, lando have something to say to you." he said as he held out his headset for me to take. i was dumbfounded by the statement, why would lando have something to say when he's in the race track at the moment? i don't understand. i took the headset and wear it until i heard lando's voice through the headset.

"hello? y/n? you there yet?" lando asked. "yea lando, what is it? you're in the middle of the race." i told him. i heard him chuckled as the racing still goes on. then i heard him breathe out. "y/n l/n, will you marry me?" lando asked. did he just proposed to me? in the middle of the race? where everyone literally can hear it? seriously?!

the situation felt in silent. "lando," i started.

"yes, i will marry you." i answered as i could cheer from both lando and the team. i suppose i could hear cheering from the crowd as well but maybe because of the race and not the proposal that lando just made. nevertheless, lando norris just proposed to me. isn't that insane?!

as the race finished and lando placed in 10th place. i ran towards him where he readily spread out his arms for me. i jumped into his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck, tightly enough to realize that this isn't a dream, it's a reality.

who would have know that this situation will be framed up to be my favourite grand prix race ever.

xoxo future mrs norris, spain 2022

In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool

When you jumped in first, I went in too

I'm with you even if it makes me blue

after the abu dhabi grand prix, it was winter break. lando and i decided to go back home in england. both lando and i agree to celebrate our engagement right after the last grand prix of the year which was the abu dhabi one.

we went straight to lando's family home in bristol. ever since the first time i went there, bristol itself have a spot in my heart, it was lovely weather especially during winter time. as we arrived the house, we saw both norris couple waiting for us outside as we got out of our car. lando went straight to his parents' arms, hugging them tightly, knowing how have they been longing to meet their beloved, precious son again.

then they invited us inside the house.

"so what theme are you thinking of for the engagement party?" lando's mom asked as we were all relaxing at the lounging room of the house. "definately neon colours!" lando exclaimed as i pat lando's chest, signalling my opposition of the colour choice. "i'm thinking of warm colours, maybe autumn colours." i voiced out and lando's mom agreed to it. lando? he was making that weird face like how when he heard the question between seafood or steak choice.

for the party, we just decided to do at the backyard of the norris' house because it was quite spacious and i believe that it will fit both sides families and friends. both lando and i agreed to just do simple party because this is just an engagement not the wedding yet. it turns out very pretty i must say. less is more, right?

there were guests from lando's families and my families and also friends from formula 1, close friends and also some close by neighbours. the party was great because there were games such as find things from guest checklist, jenga games that have questions on it basically about the upcoming bride and groom, the racing carry partner game and lastly drinking game of course. what's a party without drinking right?

at the end of the party, i'm glad that everyone's enjoying it because i was having jitters the night before that lando had to calm me down and said 'everything's going to be fine' while pulling me on top of him and my head was placed on top of his naked chest, hearing his rhythmic heartbeat.

i felt someone grabbing my hand and pulling me. i looked up and it was lando himself, grinning towards me and then i looked in front and it was an outdoor pool. i tried to pulled off from him but he was gripping strong and it was hard for me to do so, endes up he went in first followed by me. luckily the water wasn't too freezing like in mid december but still, it was shivering cold and i swore my lips almost turning blue. i glared at lando and he gave me that boyish smile that he knew i melted for.

he's going to be the death of me.

Which takes me back

To the color that we painted your brother's wall

after christmas, lando's brother, oliver is getting married. so we were offered to redecorate his room. yippie (read : sarcasm). he told us to paint the room blue, like pastel blue with hint of ocean blue. quite interesting i must say.

as we painted the room, it was getting boring. then i felt something wet on my cheek. i turned to my right and saw lando giggling like a child. i turned towards his way and with paint brush still i hold onto it, i charged to lando and tried to paint him. but of course, the perks of a sportsman, he was quick at running and running away is one of it.

sigh.

Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws

We wouldn't be standing here so tall, so

'formula 1 race driver lando norris and long term girlfriend are officially engaged!'

the headlines read today, but it has been a month since we had our engagement party and apparently, someone has been leaking it and i don't want to point my finger at. nevertheless, i am scared for letting people know of my sort of private life. i know and realize that when you are getting yourself involve with someone who is famous, your private lives doesn't even matter to them. that was what i was told before by fay herself.

lately, lando has been weird and quite reserved, especially with his phone. i am a person who never snoop into someone's phone and i don't even care what you are going to do with your phone, cause it's yours and you know what you are doing with your phone so yea.

as lando went into bathroom to take a shower after practice for an upcoming grand prix, his phone lighten up and it was an incoming message. i walked over to his nightstand and took his phone. there was a message from one of his exes. i could feel a knife stabbed from my back by the time i saw the name of the sender. i put back down the phone and walked out of the room. grabbing my car keys from the hook next to the front door, and i immediately went into my car right after i walked out of the front door.

started my car engine and i drove off the apartment complex to somewhere that i didn't know where i want to go at this moment. 'how could he?' was what played in my mind. 'if he cannot move on from his ex, then why me? why he picked me to play of?' i sobbed to the thoughts. then i heard my phone rang. i didn't look who called but i think i knew who it was. i just ignore and keep driving. i want to go somewhere that can bring me peace.

as i arrived at a nearby cliff, i just sat outside of the car and inhaling the smell of salty breeze. it always brings me calm no matter what.

"y/n?" i heard lando's voice. i turned around and there he was, cheating bastard lando norris. i got up from where i sat and quickly rushed to my car. being athlete he is, lando was more faster. he grabbed the car door as i was and i halted my movement. "i can explain. please, let me explain first." lando said to me, not replying anything i heard lando sighed. "listen, i have no valid reason to defend myself but all i know is that i didn't even replying to any of her messages." lando explained and i just scoffed at him. "if you didn't reply to any of it then why were you being so .. on guard with your phone? you weren't like this before." i asked but lando just smile sadly. "well, i was going to surprise you on our wedding day but, here." lando said as he opened up his phone and showed me his screen, there was a sketch of a ring. he was designing my wedding ring!

"i was so sorry for not giving any engagement ring for you despite everything i have but i do have something in mind to make it more special when i give you your wedding ring later on." lando explained and i suddenly get teary eyes. lando didn't give me an engagement ring because i said so. i don't want something to make things official, just him proposing is enough. i didn't know that lando would make something this special and memorable. i hugged him tightly, where he wrapped his arms around my waist. "you're my one and only from the moment i saw you for the first time, why would you think otherwise sweetheart?" lando whispered into my ear and kissed it, making me hugging him even tighter. "maybe i was insecure, i am not pretty as her. i am no model." i replied and i heard him chuckled. "you're y/n, and you're mine. does it validate to you?" i nodded my head yes and later on, we went back home separately because yea. we came here separated.

I want to drive away with you

it was the day of our honeymoon. yes we got married yesterday. the wedding itself was so eventful eventhough we just invited close family and friends only.

right now, we're in positano. let me tell you, everything about amalfi coast are so beautiful! and positano has caught my eye ever since the moment me and lando were discussing about our honeymoon right after we finalized the wedding details with our wedding planner.

lando has entrusted me with his life by renting us a scooter. if you don't know, lando once got himself involved with motorbike before but after an accident, he hasn't been good with motorbike but still interested in moto gp. "are you sure sweetheart?" i asked for confirmation as the man of the rental shop handed me the keys. lando just smiled sweetly at me and nodded his head yes. "i trust you love." that was all lando said and off we gooo!!

we were cruising around the roads, enjoying the view of the sea nearby the coast. i feel lando wrapping his arms around my waist as he placed his head on my shoulder while i leaned my head on his head. "you okay back there lan?" i asked and i felt his head nod yes. "i am happy to be with you." lando replied and i smiled at his response.

he is such a cheeseball!

I want your complications too

for the first time in his formula 1 career, lando finished in p17. not his best record to start the season. i sat in his driver's room right after the race and there entered lando with his head hung low. i stood up and hugged him tightly, tucking his head in the crook of my neck.

"it will be fine lan, i believe in you." i said to him as we swayed left to right and vice versa, comforting him.

I want your dreary Mondays

monday has come by and you know what it means, monday blues. the job at the school was hard enough. with some students who are really sick still attending to school which caused other students were sick as well. as i entered the house by unlocking the door i sighed heavily remembering what an awful day i had. i didn't see lando at the living or in thr kitchen, he must be either sleeping or leaving the house for practices.

i entered our bedroom and yet, still no sight of lando. guess he's at practices then. which is good because i just want to soak myself into our bathtub and use the bathbomb that was gifted by our wedding guests.

as the bathtub was filled with water according to the level that i preferred, i dropped the bathbomb and let it infuse in the water as i undressed myself naked and placed the towel at the towel hanger. i swirl the water in the bathtub with my hand and then i entered the bathtub, sighed with ease because i have been having back aches and having a bath with warm water feels good. i closed my eyes to enjoy the water but then, i heard the front door being open and close, followed by lando's voice calling for me. "in here bubs!" i shouted back, fear that he didn't hear me.

then the bathroom door opened and reveals lando. "hey there you." lando said as he entered the bathroom and kneeled beside me. "hey." i replied back as he leaned to my face and gave a small peck. i smiled at the gesture. i saw that lando's eyes were getting droopy as that being a sign he's getting sleepy. "rough day?" i asked as he was nodding slowly. i chuckled as i went out of the bathtub. "let me get dressed up first yeah?" i questioned him as he nodded his head again and went out of the bathroom.

Wrap your arms around me, baby boy

right after i finished dressing up, i felt lando's arm wrapped around my waist as he pulling me onto our bed. giggled, i felt happy the most when he's being all affectionate and cuddly. lando nuzzled his face into my neck as i felt he was inhaling my scent from my bath, followed by flutter kisses.

"lando norris, i love you."

"i love you too mrs. norris."

[openminded-freak]

Wally Darling x Feral!Reader Pt. 2

A lot of people seemed to like the last part so I made another, enjoy!

"Bye bye, Neighbor! Let's do this again tomorrow!" Julie shouted from her front door. It was super dark by the time you left, but it was worth it. That woman can style hair like no one's business.

"Yeah, sure lol." You gave her a wave goodbye and began the trek home. You lived on the other side of the Neighborhood, almost next to Poppy's barn. You were a bit closer to the trees though.

After visiting you at your home, your neighbors realized how close you were to woods and warned against exploring them. You had assured them that you wouldn't and that you never had a interest in doing so anyway. What you didn't say was that you were almost certain there wasn't anything past them anyway. There was no where else to go.

But, honestly? You didn't mind being stuck here. The Neighborhood was pretty, your neighbors were friendly, and you got to appreciate Eddie and Julie as the eye candy that they are. Life was good.

Not to mention, most of your personal stuff came with you when you got sucked in to the Neighborhood. Your laptop, phone, and gaming consoles all operated normally here, somehow. You weren't sure if those were supposed to be there with you, but it didn't matter. Wally didn't know about it and it's not like he was welcomed in your home anyway. You'd throw his raggedy ass out the window if you ever saw him in your house.

As you were walking, you heard the sound of footsteps behind you. You stopped, but you heard nothing. There wasn't anyone there either when you turned around. You started walking again and, after a moment, heard the footsteps start again. You didn't know anyone that would be out this late at night who would follow you home like this. Well, except for one little guy..

You continued walking. You pretended that you didn't hear anything behind as you began nearing your home. They continued right up until you got to your front door. You went inside and shut it behind you. You stood there for a moment with your back pressed against it before walking to one of your windows and peeking out the blinds.

Yep, there he was, in all of his glory. Wally was standing in front of the door, looking as though he was debating something. You watched him for a moment before having a sudden, wonderful idea.

-

All of the lights in the house were off except for your bedroom light. You weren't in there though, you were waiting in living room with your handy-dandy baseball bat. Your plan was to wait until he came in before you went to town on him, because then you'd have an excuse. It was self-defense, officer!

It didn't take long for him to help himself in. He slowly opened the door and looked around. Not like he could see anything from where he was, the house was pitch-black. You could see him though :). You waited from your spot on the floor until he passed by you, then quietly crept up to him from behind.

You yanked him by the collar and lifted him off the floor. "GOT CHA, BITCH!" He started squealing in fright and wriggling around, trying to escape your hold.

"Wait! Please, let me explain!-" You cackled in response. "Oh no, you little shit. Absolutely not. Breaking and entering? On top of kidnapping? I think you've earned yourself an ass-whooping." You put your bat down to open your window and stood in front of it a little ways back.

"When will you learn, that your actions have consequences?!" You screeched in a high-pitched voice, scaring Wally further.

"N-Neighbor, we can talk about this-" You ignored his pleas as you grabbed the bat. You held him front of you as you got ready. You lightly tossed him in the air and swung with all your might. He went fucking flying out the window.

You dropped the bat and cheered, "HOME RUN BABYYYYY!" You ran up to the window and stuck your head out. "AND STAY OUT, FUCKER."

He didn't say anything, just looked at you fearfully and fucking booked it back Home.

"He needs some milk," you noted, shutting the window.

I didn't proof-read this so take it or leave it 💅

[rotonalhaitham]

Alhaitham - Call

(NSFW)

I need sleep... But I need to finish this draft first lol anyway

Warnings: NSFW!, Unprotected Sex, Riding Alhaitham;) (not proof read...)

(Afab! reader)

I suggest listening to The Weekend while reading.. Tehee

"Fuck..."

Alhaitham curses as he pounds your hole fast, chasing both you and his orgasm.

"Ha-Haitham..."

You whined, tightening your grip on his hands signaling him to stop. He noticed your gesture and tone, causing him to immediately stop moving his hips.

"Hm? What is it love?"

He leaned in to your body, making your legs reach your stomach and chest. He scanned your face of discomfort but he didn't find any. Only pure lust and love.

"I.. Want to top.."

You said looking away, even in a situation like this, you can't help but be embarrassed.

"Oh?"

He chuckled, teasing you. He leaned in for a passionate kiss first before placing his hands on your hips, moving your body as he shifts his too, making you on top of him.

You sat up breaking the kiss, caressing his bare chest — a little sweaty from the heat of your bodies while his shaft still inside. You started to grind your hips, it made him close his eyes slowly and opened his mouth to let out his breathy moans.

"Hah.. Yeah.."

He moaned out, his hands wrapped around the cheeks of your butt. Being contented with the grinding, you started to lift your upper body and slamming it down again, his two hands guiding you. It made your boyfriend's moan louder than before.

Until...

Ring!..Ring!..Ring!..

The both of you stopped as your heads turned on the small table beside the bed, containing a small lit lamp and Alhaitham's phone. The phone was ringing, 'Akademiya' was the name of the caller.

Alhaitham grabbed the phone and sighed.

"Must be important. Although it is already midnight... 'm sorry habibti, I need to answer this."

The gray haired man swiped the phone's screen, answering the call from the Akademiya. It made you annoyed. You we're close to cumming, and it is already midnight, what could possibly be the reason of the call? It has been also a while since you and Alhaitham had an intimate session. Let alone spend time together and his rest. After being the Sage, Alhaitham almost never had a real break.

"Hello? Yes this is the Sage."

He's panting heavily while talking on the phone. He placed his arms to cover his eyes as he listened to whoever was talking on the phone. He still couldn't focus alot, considering the fact that he's still inside of you.

Suddenly, a light bulb lit up on your head. You had an idea, but it was quite evil. You couldn't careless from the frustration that was built up on you.

Starting the plan, you lift your hips once again until his tip was left inside. It made him remove the arms covering his eyes and looked at you with confusion. You only looked at him with an innocent smile.

Then slammed down on his dick, you couldn't help but moan his name. His eyes widened and quickly covered his mouth, keeping him from letting out a noise. You lift yourself up and down, up and down, and up and down likr your lufe depends on it.

Alhaitham moved the phone away and placed his other hand on your hips, trying to slow your movements.

"Baby, baby wait.. Hah let me- let me finish this call first- hah..."

He whispered, moaning between his words.

You slowed down and Alhaitham moved his phone on his ear to talk.

"Yes, Hello? Can we talk about this tomorrow? I'm quite busy at the moment."

He didn't wait for the caller to respond and quickly ended the call and turned off the phone.

"Baby, that was a dangerous move... C'mere."

You only chuckled and leaned on him for your lips to meet.

He placed both his hands on your butt cheeks. He arched his hip up, making his dick balls deep inside of you. You moaned on the kiss from the penetration.

He pulled out of the kiss and started to thrust upwards.

"You.. Naughty naughty naughty. You wanted us to get caught.. Hm? Never thought you'd be into those things."

He said, his tone was much huskier and meaner than before. Slapping one of your butt cheeks, he picked up his pace a bit more more. It made you arch you back and moan louder than before. You couldn't do anything but bury your face into his chest and feel your insides getting ruined. His thrust was getting rougher. He stopped for a momment and helped you hips grind on him back and fort, it was hitting your g-spot. The both of you was moaning in sync from the friction.

Him hitting your g-spot over and over again made you over the edge. You we're close and so is he. Not so long after, you came moaning his name.

"Fuck, you feel so good.."

He moaned out, despite having an orgasm he didn't stop moving his hips.

It was a sign, you two are not going to sleep anytime soon.

[greenteasnoothie]

A writer for RE! And requests are open! Sorry, I'm excited and sleep deprived lol, may I request with this prompt i found? "when you're the one they look at, even if they're at the other end of the room". What if (insert character) is the one looking at you and you wonder if you offended them or something because they look at you or watch you with a neutral or serious expression. But what you don't know is that they're trying to figure out why he can't stop looking at you. And those that know (insert character) know that the (insert character) is actually happy or smitten by reader. I don't know which RE character to choose because I like most of them 😅

“When you’re the one they look at, even if they’re at the other end of the room”

HI ANON THANKS FOR THE REQUEST!!! I decided I’m going to do two characters for this request because why not!

Parings: Leon X Gen!Reader, Wesker X Gen!Reader

♡ = time-skip

Genre: Fluff, maybe little tiny little bit of angst

Content mentioned:kissing, some swears,

Word count: Leon:445 Wesker:345

——————————————————————

Leon S Kennedy

It was like any other D.S.O meeting, talking about your next mission and OH MY GOD CAN LEON STOP STARING AT YOU?

The whole meeting Leon would not take his eyes off of you and not only that, his neutral expression is making you think he’s mad at you.

Thinking about everything and anything you have or could have done to pissed Leon off takes your attention for the whole meeting.

You Jump when Benford closes his folder particularly loud, ending the meeting and snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Gosh dammit,” Leon curses under his breath as he watches you quickly leave the room, it’s clear to him

that you noticed him staring. Leon rubs his face with his hand quickly sighing as he does so.

♡

You don’t see Leon for the rest of the day, making you think he really is mad at you.

Once you’re home you decide to call Claire and tell her, out of everyone she would hopefully know if Leon is mad at you and why…right? So you grab your phone and call Claire.

“Hello,”

“Hey Claire, you busy?”

“Nope, why whats up?”

“Well, I think Leon is mad at me,”

“What makes you say that?”

*You tell claire why you think Leon is mad at you*

Claire chuckles a little after you finish telling her why you think Leon is mad at you,

“Y/N, I don’t think Leon is mad at you,” Claire says giggling a little.

“Wha- what makes you say that?”

“I just wouldn't worry about it Y/N, I recommend talking to Leon about it when you see him tomorrow.”

“Okay, Thanks Claire i'll keep you updated,”

“You got it Y/N, anytime.”

♡

The next day at work you find Leon in the breakroom, you decide to do what Claire recommends you to do and talk to leon.

“Hey Leon,” You say as you walk up to him

“Oh, hey Y/N What's up?”

“Leon, are you mad at me?”

“Wha- why would I be mad at you Y/N?”

“Well you were staring at me for the whole meeting yesterday, and then I didn't see you for the rest of the day and-”

You get interrupted by Leon chuckling

“Y/N I’m not mad at you and I was never,”

“Then what’s wrong Leon?”

“Y/N I think I have feelings for you…I didn’t know but I’ve been thinking about it and I think I do,”

You pause processing what you just heard Leon say to you.

“Fuck sorry Y/N I-” Leon starts to say before you cut him off by giving him a peck on the lips.

(Sorry idk how else to end this!)

Albert Wesker (RE1)

Since you joined S.T.A.R.S you have noticed or at least felt that your captain always was staring at you, and when you did catch him staring he always had a hard look on his face.

♡

“I think he’s mad at me Jill,” you say as you watch your captain walk back into his office after he noticed you noticed him staring.

“Oh no what did you do this time Y/N,” Chris says in a almost mocking tone

“Shut up Chris,” you say as you playfully slap his arm

“Seriously though Y/N, wouldn’t worry about it,”Jill says empathetically

“Yeah Jill’s right, don’t worry about it, Weskers most likely got RBF (resting bitch face),” Chris says, letting out a chuckle.

You laugh along with Chris and continue with what you're doing.

♡

It’s been a few days since you got that “advice” from Jill and Chris, and well.. it didn’t really help. There’s still something in the back of your brain that is telling you that you most definitely did something to piss your captain off, and you're pretty sure your thoughts were confirmed when your captain called you into his office.

You walk over to your captains office and knock on the closed door soon followed by you walking into the room.

“Close the door behind you and sit down,” your captain says to you in a calm yet somewhat serious tone, you close the door and sit down in the seat across from your captain so you're facing him.

“Y/N what would you say about dinner tonight at (restaurant name here) around let’s say hmm 7:30?”

You are caught completely off guard by what your captain just said to you but answer to the best of your ability.

“Oh uhm.. I would love to captain!” You say sitting up a little straighter

“Albert's fine dear,” Wesker grins and continues, “so it’s a date then, see you then.”

“Uhh yeah, see you then ca-Albert,” you say as a mini smile appears on your face as you walk out.

A/N: Hi Hi thanks for reading lovely !! Anywho I was going to add Chris and Krauser but I have so many other reqs I need to do rn so I’m kinda freaking out and I didn’t know how to start Chirs’s story so I kinda gave up on him, I got midway through Krausers but also gave up so if you do want me to do both of those men I will probably, eventually 😎😎!!

IM ALSO OPEN FOR EMOJI ANONS 😈

© silly-little-fan-grll, 2023. do not repost, translate or copy my work.

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

LOVE- CHAPTER 3

After getting back together, Janelle finds out thats she's pregnant. Follow along with Josh and Janelle as they deal with the highs and lows of her pregnancy.

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

Janelle is played by Justine Skye

Hopefully this is only 2 chapters but you know me lol it might be more.

Sequel to All I Need Is You: Read Here

Part 1 Part 2

TAGLIST: @christinabae @southerngirl41 @reci24 @jeyusos-girl @jeyusosgirl @melaninsugababy @baconeggndcheez @bemybabiibish @jstarr86 @nbanenefrmdao @purplehairgawdess @arination99 @alyyaanna @m3llowww @gomussy @jeysbae @hennyyybarb @babysyhsy @bebesobrielo

After most  of the guests had left, Janelle and her father sat outside near the bonfire. Janelle couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face, she was so excited that her father was there with her. 

“I’m so proud of you Nelly, you have a good thing going here.” Her father said, breaking her out of her thoughts. 

“Thank you daddy.” 

“And that Josh. he loves you alot.” She smiled and looked over to where Josh and Xavier were trying to catch lighting bugs with Jon’s two kids. “He was persistent in trying to find me. “ He sighed and grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze. “I’m sorry ‘bout everything Janelle. I wasn’t the best dad to you and your brothers but I promise imma do my best to be the best grandfather.” He cleared his throat, trying to make his voice not waver. “Josh already set me up with a rehab close by.  I want to be the best version of myself for my grandson.” 

Janelle couldn’t stop herself from crying. This was all she wanted, her daddy clean from drugs and in her life. 

Josh looked over to where Janelle and her father were sitting and smiled to himself. He would do whatever to make her happy. 

“You really love her huh?” He looked over at his mom and nodded his head. “Good,” She said and pulled him into a hug. “I’m so happy for you Joshua, after everything that you’ve been through with Ximena.” She paused and cupped his cheek with her hand. “I’m happy you found love again.” 

 Josh hugged his mother tightly. Ximena had put him and his family through hell, from getting him arrested on false charges and then hiding Xavier until didn’t feel like being a mother anymore. He was happy that she found Janelle and that she accepted him and all his flaws. 

Janelle placed a kiss on Xavier’s head and left out of his room. She had just put him to bed for the night. 

“Y’all good?” Josh asked once she came into their room and she nodded. He was standing by their closet, getting hsi clothes for the week ready, he was heading back on the road tomorrow. 

“Yeah, he just wanted to feel the baby move before he went to sleep.” She said with a chuckle as she started to get ready for bed. Once she was finished she walked over and wrapped her arms around him the best she could, mindful of her growing belly. 

“Ya’ dad make it to the rehab okay?” He asked and she nodded. 

“Yeah he texted me after Jon and Trin dropped him off. Thank you for doing that Joshua.”  She said as she got on her tippy toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

“It’s no problem Nelle. I know you wanted ya’ dad around for the baby.” 

“Yeah, but to pay for his whole rehab treatment. You didn’t have to do that.”  He stopped packing and turned around to face her. 

“I wanted to. Me and him talked about him wanting to be clean for you and for our baby. He said he wanted this and I wanted to help.” He pressed his forehead against hers and whispered.  “I just want you to be happy Nelle.” 

“I am happy Josh. You and Xavier make me happy.” 

“Yeah?” He asked and she nodded.  “Good.” He said before placing a kiss on her lips. 

Josh had been gone for about three days now. Janelle and Xaiver were up late - way past Xavier’s bedtime- they were waiting for Josh’s daily facetime call. Monday Night Raw had just gone off the air and Josh had let her know that he had a dark match afterwards she had told Xavier this but he insisted that he stay up so that he could talk to his dad. 

She looked down at Xavier when he shifted positions, his head was now resting on her belly. 

“Nelly?” he called out to her softly. 

“You okay X?” She asked and he nodded. 

“Can I asks a question?” He asked still talking lowly

“Yeah bud you can ask me anything.” She said, He didn’t say anything for a while. “Xavier, what's wrong?” She asked, moving him so he was sitting up and facing her. 

“When the baby gets here it’s gonna call you mommy?” He asked and she chuckled. 

“Well, not right away.” She said, smiling at his confused face. “The baby will have to learn how to talk first and then he’s gonna call me mommy.” 

“Okay. What about me?” He asked, staring into her eyes. 

“What do you mean?” 

“How comes the baby gets to call you mommy. You're my mommy too, right?” Janelles was speechless. She kept opening and closing her mouth. She let out a sigh of relief when her phone started to ring. 

“Oh look. It's your dad.” She said clearing her throat before answering the facetime call. 

“My bad y’all” He said as soon as the call connected. “My phone died. I had to charge it.” 

Janelle had opened her mouth to respond but Xavier beat her. “Dad, how comes the baby gets to call Nelly mom and I don’t? She’s my mom too, right?” Josh was just as speechless as Janelle now. He knew that this conversation was coming, he just wasn’t prepared for it. 

“Um, I- um.” He stuttered out. He looked at Janelle and she nodded her head slightly. “Xavi, you know Janelle’s not your biological mom right?” When Xavier nodded, Josh continued. “But she loves you a whole lot.” Xavier looked at Janelle who nodded in agreement. 

“But why can’t I call her mom?” He asked. Xavier was getting upset. It wasn’t fair that the baby could call her mom when he was there first. He should be able to call her mom. 

Janelle propped the phone on the coffee table in front of them and turned to Xavier. 

“You can call me whatever you want Xavier. You can call me mom if you want to.” She said getting choked up towards the end of her conversation. 

“Okay I want to call you mommy.” Janelle let out a choked sob and pulled Xavier into a tight hug. 

“Damn man, yall got me over here crying and shit.” Josh said causing Janelle to laugh. 

“Swear word daddy.” 

They talked to Josh until he reached his hotel room. After saying goodnight to him, Janelle got Xavier ready for bed. After tucking him in she placed a kiss on his forehead. 

“Goodnight Xavi.”  He gave her a sleep smile and blew her kiss. 

“Goodnight mommy.” 

Thank you all for reading,

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤