#i couldn’t stay focused if my life depended on it

[delirium1217]

A World Alone

James/Regulus

First wizarding war AU

⋆｡°✩˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗⋆｡°✩

“Why do you think people drift away?”

James stared at the cigarette in his hands. Like it had all the answers. It didn’t, it was just another thing that burned.

Press to the lips. Inhale. He didn’t wait for Regulus to answer. 

“Because I think -“ he faltered, his hands shook. “It’s because they find something other than what they signed up for. The fine print, no one really cares. Not when they’re nineteen, not when love’s never felt like this - fickle, but still glowing. Not when there’s a war happening.” He heard himself say. His index finger chipped away the white paint. He was rambling - he never knew how to control his tongue.

He didn’t say anything back, James didn’t expect him to. Regulus didn’t owe him anything. Not a thing.

“Isn’t-“Regulus said. Hesitant. He was always hesitant, at first, at least. He cleared his throat, starting over. “I don't know what led you here - and you won’t exactly tell me.” James started to protest but Regulus shut him down. “And I don’t blame you. But you- this sort of desperation, it’s not, productive.”

It was unfair of James to tell him any of this. Rope him into whatever cascade of emotions had been unravelling in his mind.

James kept staring at the rain.

“I just thought it’d be - I knew this wouldn’t be easy, but I just thought I'd keep my family, my friends, people I cared about, around me. I knew it’d be awful, I just didn’t think I’d be this lonely.” His voice broke on the last few words, he glanced at Regulus. “No offence,” he said, sheepishly. 

“You think my idea of a good time is 6 months of being stuck in a tiny house during a war with someone who thought I was still fighting against him?” Regulus almost laughed, it’s odd, definitely self-deprecating. Not meant for James to feel bad. He still did. He stared at Regulus’ shoulder, where James’ curse hit him a few days ago. His soul felt heavy.

He saw him staring. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.” This is not the first time Regulus has said this. 

“Still. I should’ve known the Order would’ve recruited you, of all people.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I, well, you know. You never felt like the um, evil, type. I suppose.” That was the wrong thing to say.

“What exactly does the evil type look like?” Regulus was staring at him, intensely. Staring at James like what he said mattered, when it didn’t. The war had blurred all lines. This was no exception. 

“Well they don’t carry around sketchbooks like their life depends on it, for one.” He wanted to deflate this situation - he couldn’t stand the way Regulus was staring at him, like he hadn’t felt like a helpless child every day for months now. He was looking for answers James was dying to figure out. Regulus finally looked away, and stayed quiet for a while. 

“I didn’t carry a sketchbook, it was a journal.” Regulus said, almost mumbling. “And I didn’t think you noticed.” he added, somehow even quieter.

“Are you kidding? You carried that thing everywhere - I remember classes where you did nothing but scribble in there. You were so focused, and I was confused because what was so enticing about potions? But I figured it out later.” James heard himself say, almost rambling again. The memory was a worn out one, of quiet afternoons and boredom, of watching the quiet boy in the corner of the classroom - wary of what he might turn out to be.

Was he right to be worried? His eyes dropped to Regulus’ forearm. He felt his soul shatter for what seems like the millionth time this year.

He looked up again, Regulus was looking at him from the corner of his eye, a strange expression on his face. 

He was hunched in over himself. The patio was bigger than some of the house’s rooms, rickety sodden wood painted in chipping white paint. Regulus almost looked small, in a rocking chair lined with striped cushions, sun-bleached and mothy. The pale blue lights from the house behind him was a backdrop for his silhouette - a halo emerging behind his head. James himself was sitting directly on the wood, with a water-repellent spell that was slowly wearing off.

Regulus looked away, staring at the darkness in the opposite direction. “Well, you’re wrong. About the Order recruitment thing, I mean. They didn’t recruit me - I kind of had to beg for them to listen.” 

“Sirius di-“

“He didn’t know.” Regulus cut him off, “I don’t know how it works, but I suppose it’s not a thing they’d inform the entire Order about. I, uh, had to ‘present my case’ to unbiased parties.” His voice was only slightly bitter, blink and you’ll miss it. James couldn’t believe it.

He found himself fuming. “He’s your brother, he should’ve known! Or at least had the chance to talk to you! What if they didn’t take you seriously? What if you were caught?” His voice rose, almost as if the desperation he’s felt all these months had found a target. An eligible figure to hurl all the hurt at.

 “We both know that’s not how secret espionage works, James.” Regulus said back, eyes downturned, the words defeated and hollow. The voice of a man who had ran across this line of rumination countless times. The frown of someone much older than twenty years of age.

 Something was off. Then, it slowly dawned on him.

“Regulus, how long ago was this?” he asks, already dreading the answer.

“Three years.” Resonant voice ringing in the dead of night. He finally looked up. Eyes sober as they locked onto James’ own. They stared at each other for a moment. James did not know what his face held but it seemed to transfix Regulus. His eyes searched his face, and he hoped he didn’t misconstrue the desperation for indifference. 

Whatever lightness the conversation held, fled through the floorboards and sprinted across the country side. 

“And Sirius doesn’t know?” James whispered.

Regulus shook his head. “Barely anyone knows.”

“Regulus, you don’t know how many times-“James paused, his emotions a cauldron threatening to spill over. He cleared his throat. “He’s lost sleep over this. About whatever they were making you do. This - he thought he lost you. He looked for your name so often, people started questioning him. Remus had to stop him from crossing enemy lines so many times. Regulus, he mourned you.” it all seemed to tumble out of him, edging on the side of hysterics. He was now fully facing Regulus, his back to the rain. 

Regulus didn’t break his gaze. But his eyes were almost glazed over. James recognized that look. He was shutting down. His mouth turned into a thin line.

James couldn’t help it, he kept going. “I thought - when they told me they were sending me to a safe house, and then I saw you - even though I thought you were seconds away from killing me - the first thing I thought was ‘Merlin, won’t Sirius be relieved Regulus is still alive.’”

That pulled out a laugh out of Regulus, somehow. The sound of it high and clear in the night. It didn’t belong here. He had the urge to chase it, to refuse to let anything taint it. It was precious, it was rare. He refused to let it be wasted.

He found himself smiling, too. “I guess that’s stupid, huh?” he said. He didn’t mind making fun of himself, even if only to keep Regulus away from a broken expression that shattered his heart into a million pieces. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” Regulus replied, voice dropping low. The defeated expression was dampened now, replaced by a sort of softness. Something in James’ chest unfurled.

James looked across the wet terrain that made up the front yard. The rain had stopped, trickling noises off of the roof filled the silence. The surrounding houses off in the distance were aglow with a warm orange.

They were safely isolated from the rest of the village, but he could still see signs of life. Muggle families with a house garden and school children, he pictured them talking about irrelevant tiny details - the hum and drum of domestic life. They were unaware of two strangers, bathed in the pale blue fluorescent lights of a dangling patio light bulb.

Regulus made no noise as he went back inside the house, the rattle of the door faintly spreading across the air.

⋆｡°✩˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗⋆｡°✩

snippet from ch.2 of my fanfic, but could work on its own as a one-shot, really.

A World Alone - Chapter 2 - delirium1217 - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]

[thwackk]

can we have a moment of silence for scott pls. he’s not dead or anything, i just miss him

[joshhutchersonsgf]

“just relax.” ♡ a mike schmidt fic

nsfw | mdni | fem!reader | thigh riding | cursing | praise | first fic

imagine mike inviting you to his new job because he “was bored out of his mind and needed you with him”. you knew that wasn’t true, you’ve seen him get lost in his own thoughts right in front of you. keeping himself entertained for hours just by sitting alone and thinking wasn’t uncommon for him.

after mike shows you to his office, he sits down on a chair in front of a desk with computers, showing the interior and exterior of the building. the pizzeria is an old place and you wonder why they still need a security guard for it. mike sees you awkwardly looking for a place to sit, so he pats his lap to tell you to come sit down. you smile shyly then walk over to his chair and sit down, facing him. you give him a soft kiss on his cheek before wrapping your arms around him tightly and snuggling into his neck.

the first few minutes are pretty boring, just mike occasionally flipping through the cameras while your eyes struggle to stay open. you lay your head on his shoulder and you feel a movement in his hips.

mike snakes his arms around your waist and he feels your breath hitch. he slowly guides you to move across his thigh. “mikey.. not here..” you whisper tiredly through soft moans, not really trying to stop him. “no one’s here, you know, it’s just us” he says, and you don’t even have to look at him to know he’s smiling to himself.

you decide to just let it happen, there’s no point to not give in. there really is no one in the pizzeria besides you two.

you slowly start to move your hips back and forth on mike’s thigh, his hands on your waist guiding your speed.

“mikey..” you moan against his neck, sucking dark circles around his collarbone.

“just relax. let me take care of you, baby.”

mike’s grip on your waist tightens as he speeds up your movements, even bouncing his leg for more pleasure. you mumble sweet nothings into his neck, speeding up your hips and pushing them down farther while the denim of his jeans only makes you more sensitive.

“pleasepleaseplease” you whine.

“please what, baby? i know you can use your words.”

“please fuck me.”

“come on, angel. you know we can’t do it right here. i’m supposed to be working.” mike whispers, the raspiness in his voice only making you wetter.

“i need you inside of me, mikeyyy” you drag out his name in a whine, hoping that will convince him.

he chuckles at your words, only moving your hips faster on his thigh. you couldn’t explain how good it felt, the roughness of his jeans perfectly rubbing against your clit was like something like you’ve never felt before. you started moving your hips on your own, looking up into mike’s eyes.

“ohh so now you like it?” he says with a smirk, looking deeply into your hooded eyes. you reply with a moan and put your hands in his hair.

“holy— oh my god mike” you moan loudly, squeezing your eyes shut.

you lift your arms up as you feel mike start to tug on your shirt, knowing he wants to take it off. he quickly discards it and stares at your boobs with amazement as you continued to ride his thigh like your life depended on it.

“so beautiful.” he whispers to himself, barely audible.

you grab onto his shoulders for support as he unclips your bra and lets it fall to the floor. he pinches your left nipple lightly and smiles as your hips stutter.

“i always love your little reactions when i touch you.” he says, fondling your other nipple between his pointer finger and thumb.

your hips only move faster at his words, not focusing on anything other than your own orgasm. mike takes one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around and sucking. your whimper loudly and throw your head back, giving him access to your neck. he removes his mouth from your nipple and begins sucking on your neck, still pinching your nipples with his hands. all of this is too overwhelming for you, and you feel like you’re about to explode.

“mikey im gonna— fuck im cumming”

you moan louder as your orgasm washes over you, moving your hips in circles on his thigh. mike continues to suck on your neck, leaving dark marks all along your chest and collarbone.

“that’s it, yeah. you’re doing so good.” mike whispers in your ear, helping you as you come down from your high by rubbing soothing circles on your hips.

you slump down onto mike, hips still stuttering as you feel your body give out. mike laughs quietly and rubs your back.

“you did amazing for me, pretty girl. so so perfect.”

[whoisshel]

My Only Wish (This Year)

This was yours and Steve’s first holiday together that won’t be ruined by any freaky supernatural being appearing from the Upside Down. Since it was your first actual holiday together, you had to go all out. The first thing you both wanted to do was go ice skating, so you dressed warmly and headed to the nearest place.

“You ready?” Steve asked as you both finished tying the laces to your skates.

“I think.” You responded with a nervous chuckle.

Steve stood up, standing in front of you reaching both his hands out for you to grab. You grabbed ahold of both of them, pulling yourself up to a wobbly stand. Already you could tell that Steve was going to be good at this and you were going to be holding onto him like your life depended on it. Steve’s been ice skating since he was young since his family would take trips to ski resorts, and besides snowboarding, ice skating was his favorite thing to do there. It was peaceful and his parents didn’t like doing anything besides skiing and staying in the hot tub.

You, however, haven’t been ice skating since you were a kid, and you were never really good at it.

“Okay, we’ll take this slowly.” Steve backed onto the ice rink still holding your hands.

“Okay,” Your voice shook a bit.

You were looking down, focused as you took your first step onto the ice. You could feel Steve’s genuine eyes on you with a bit of humor hidden in them as he watched you shake like Bambi.

Once you got both your skates on the ice, you started to slip uncontrollably. Steve quickly grabbed ahold of your waist to steady you.

“Woah, woah,” Steve chuckled in your ear from your closeness, “Don’t be so nervous, it’ll be easier. I’m right here, I’ll hold onto you until you’re ready.”

“Don’t let me go,” You whispered, holding onto his hands tightly as Steve stepped back.

“I won’t,” Steve promised as he started to slowly skate backward with you following closely.

You were starting to get the hang of ice skating as you both made your way around the rink. You smiled up at Steve as you got better and your confidence grew.

“There you go,” Steve smiled back proudly, “You’re becoming a champ at this. Do you think you could do this on your own now?”

Steve started to loosen his grip on your hands, but before he could let go, you tightened your hands together and let out a quick, “No.”

“Alright, I’ll keep holding on.” Steve moved the both of you around the rink again.

The two of you continued skating around a couple more times, still holding hands. You got the hang of ice skating but didn’t want to let go of Steve. After going around five times, you both decided that you were getting cold and done with skating. Slowly walking over to the bleachers, the two of you started taking the skates off and discussing your next plans.

“So, hot chocolate first, then what?” Steve asked, setting his unlaced skates to the side and putting his sneakers back on.

“They’ll be lighting the tree soon,” You said wrestling with your laces, “We should walk that way after getting the hot chocolate and go see all the pretty lights.”

Steve kneeled in front of you to help get your skates off, “That sounds great, babe.”

After you got your shoes back on and returned both your skates, you started walking towards the drink stand.

“Two hot chocolates, please,” Steve told the teen working the stand as he pulled out his wallet.

“Thank you,” You both said once you were handed your drinks.

While sipping, you started your stroll over to where the tree lighting was going to happen. It wasn’t a long walk from the ice rink, but it gave you time to relax and have a nice conversation.

“So Dustin…” Steve began the nice conversation. You couldn’t complain though, you loved the kid too.

The sun was setting and a crown had circled the giant Christmas tree. The two of you stood in a perfect visible spot of the whole tree. Steve wrapped his arm around your waist as you two stood in a comfortable silence as the sky went from light to dark, the colorful lights trailed up the tree until hitting the star at the top. The lights hung up around downtown soon followed, surrounding the two of you in a beautiful sight.

“I’m happy we got to do all of this today.” You beamed as bright as the tree.

“I’m happy you’re happy.” Steve delighted in your cheerfulness.

You kissed him as you softly whispered on his lips, “You’re cheesy.”

“Only for you,” Steve whispered back giving you another kiss.

————————————————————

I know it’s past Christmas but decided to start writing shorter pieces. These will just come out randomly, when I have the time to write them and put them out.

Started writing season 3 for Crimson and Clover!!! We’ll have to see how long that takes me ‘cause when I have to write stuff for school it makes me not want to write anything else lol

[girl-next-door-writes]

You Matter To Me

Characters: Steve Harington x reader

Summary: A shared moment before heading into the Upside Down where you and Steve both reflect on what is important.

Word Count: 1000 words

Prompt: You Matter To Me

A/N: I have been going through some ‘real world’ stuff recently and this song showed up on my radar again and despite the million fics I have to write I felt this needed to be written. It isn’t perfect, I couldn’t find all the words, but if you are reading this then I want you to know that you matter.

Nobody should have this much pressure placed on them, and yet he had taken it almost willingly. The role of leader, of protector, it weighed heavy on his shoulders, and although he hid it well, there were flashes of the truth hidden in those beautiful, soulful eyes; eyes you could happily get lost in, even on the worst days, perhaps especially on the worst days. Their warm richness comforting, even though the slivers of profound sadness swam in their depths. Each horror he had witnessed haunted him, words left unsaid and yet screaming as the two of you looked at each other. Insecurity, doubt, the fragility of his carefully crafted self-confident persona swam in those sad eyes, shattering your heart into a million pieces.

There were no words. The painful realization that nothing said could make things any better, caused a deep ache in your soul. Taking a seat beside him, you simply shuffled closer, tucking yourself into his side and slipping your hand into his. Interlacing your fingers, you looked down at your hands, silently vowing to stay right there by his side for as long as he would let you.

This beautiful boy had gotten under your skin, and although your emotions for him were largely undefined, he mattered to you. He was important. He was…irrevocably connected to you. How do you even begin to tell someone that? It isn’t as simple as those three overused words, and it was deeper than a romantic desire. You saw him, just as he truly was, and knew that he was enough, that your life was infinitely improved by his existence. Did he know that? Was he aware of how he touched everyone’s life? You felt an almost overwhelming desire to grip him by the shoulders and shake him until he understood that he was so much more than he believed; that he truly did matter. But instead, the two of you sat in silence, holding hands and watching the others preparing.

Steve stole a glance at you, allowing himself a moment to just be a nineteen-year-old boy, sitting holding hands with someone he cared about. It was a little addictive spending time with you. There was just something about the way you listened to him, like you heard all the parts he didn’t say out loud, and you didn’t think he was stupid or broken.

He had a close friendship with Robin, he adored his best friend, and then there were the ‘kids’, and Nancy; well, the Nancy thing was complicated. Now he also had Eddie… All these people depending on him, needing him to step up and take the lead. There was a part of him that wanted to run, to just get in his car and drive away from this hellhole and start over. If he’d gone to college then he wouldn’t be here for this shit, this would be someone else’s problem. The guilt of that thought gnawed at him and he subconsciously squeezed your hand. He was scared, but he knew he couldn’t turn his back, he would never forgive himself.

There was something different about this fight, a shadow in the back of his mind that said they might not all make it. Looking around at his friends, he felt his heart clench. They all mattered. Dustin would probably go on to cure some deadly disease or figure out a way for everyone to live on the moon or some shit. Lucas, he had a shot at becoming a pro athlete, if he focused. Nancy had a bright future as a journalist maybe, blowing the lid off government corruption and saving people… Each and every one of them had such potential to make a real difference in the world. The only person he could even consider disposable in the grand scheme of things, was himself. This might be the one thing, the moment where he might be of some importance, making sure the rest of them got through.

He was brought out of his thoughts by your head resting on his shoulder. It was such a small gesture but it grounded him, and he found himself leaning down, his cheek pressing against your hair as he closed his eyes.

“Steve?” Your voice was so quiet that he could easily have imagined that you had spoken.

“Yeah?”

“You matter to me. More than all this. More than most people.” Your words hung in the air between the two of you and he felt a tear roll down his cheek.

“Thanks.”

“I mean it. Don’t go doing anything ‘heroic’, because if something happens to you then I’m just gonna have to make a deal with the devil, or bring you back as a zombie or something, and then you’ll be screwed. You will feel my wrath.”

“Your wrath?” he chuckled, an eyebrow raising in amusement as he opened his eyes again.

“Yes, my wrath. I will be incredibly pissed at you for doing something so stupid, and for leaving me, and then making me learn voodoo so I can bring you back to yell at you.”

“Yeah, that does seem like it might be a bit of a hassle.”

“A major one. So, just promise me you will try your best to see me on the other side of all this because, for some fucked up reason Harrington, you really matter to me.”

“Okay.” He said softly, his fingers playing with yours as he took your words to heart. Turning his head slightly, he placed a gentle kiss to the top of your head and let out a deep sigh. “And, for the record, you matter to me too.”

You didn’t reply, you didn’t have to. It was obvious that the feelings between the two of you were simultaneously infinitely complex and so simple. Hopefully there would be time to explore each and every nuance of what it meant to matter to each other, but for now, Steve was content to just sit beside you and feel.

[jahayla-parker]

Request: Hey so I was wonder if you could write a story with either kaz brekker × ADHD reader or freddy Carter × ADHD reader where the reader is struggling and ends up with haveing breakdown and is in tears with the fact that they can't stay focused and everything is slipping into a mess and they are struggling and they just comfort the reader. haven't been feeling very well lately and begin feeling overwhelmed and I love your work

Over It All : Kaz Brekker x Reader

@alex-kazbrekkersimp this is the last one I’ll be tagging you in unless you mention wanting to be added to one of (or multiple) my tag lists 💜 same note as on the last/Freddy one: Hi! So sorry for just getting to this! Ironically enough, I was experiencing this myself over the last few months. I hope you're feeling better! I did both characters/people, but I broke it up. In this one you'll find Kaz’s version.

Note: Thank you to @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r for helping me edit this!

Description: 3.8k wc, reader struggles with her ADHD to the point of breaking into tears, prompting Kaz to find a way to come to her aid. Hurt-comfort, angst-fluff

Warnings: SOC content (and applicable warnings), ADHD symptoms and experiences discussed, mention of crying and sadness, negative thoughts of self, some angst but fluffy ending/comfort

Y/n hid behind the empty box of spirits that Kaz had imported for the Crow Club. The bottles had already been removed and stored in their appropriate places. However, it seemed someone forgot to dispose of the now-empty crate. Y/n was beyond grateful for that oversight at this moment. 

She’d been trying to hide from Kaz all evening. Normally she’d be able to be found in his office after dinner had been served. It had started as a means of bringing him food that she’d then have to all-but force him to eat; however, it soon turned into a nightly ritual in which the now-couple would either visit briefly or silently complete more work/hobbies.

Tonight was different. She didn’t want to go to his office. Y/n knew Kaz would be able to pick up on her negative energy. And for once, she didn’t want to talk about it. After all, she wasn’t sure how to explain herself to anyone. 

She knew she couldn’t go to her room. That would be the first place Kaz would likely check for her after noticing her absence. She could go somewhere outside of the Slat or Crow’s Club entirely, but she didn’t want Kaz to worry either. So instead Y/n chose to stay in the back part of the Crow Club, hidden behind the empty wooden crate. 

She wasn’t sure what her plan was, Y/n doubted she could outlast Kaz’s insomnia, but perhaps she could outlast his interest tonight. Maybe if she hid long enough, he’d grow tired of trying to find her (or wouldn’t risk the others being clued into the reason behind such behavior). At which point she could return to her room for some much needed sleep. 

Y/n felt guilty for hiding from him. He hadn’t been the one to do anything wrong in this instance. Instead, it was her that failed to accomplish the tasks he’d assigned her. She had never struggled this much to complete them before. 

However, given the chaotic dynamics of the club and increased heists lately, she’d been more stressed and less well-rested than normal. As such, her focus was waning. Well, waning would suggest she had at least some small amount of focus left. Which she didn’t. Lack of focus would be a better way to put it. She couldn’t focus if her life depended on it. In some way it did. 

It wasn’t that Kaz would kill her, or even really threaten her for not completing the tasks as he might the other crows, but that was not the relationship he had with Y/n; and she knew that. But, she knew he’d still be disappointed in her. 

Yet, that wasn’t even the biggest threat she faced when it came to having failed to do her job. Instead, Kaz was on a time crunch for moving forward with their next heist. If he went through with the heist despite Y/n not completing her assigned preparative tasks, someone could die. 

Y/n had given up already on getting her tasks done today. She tried countless times, in countless ways, at countless different locations. All without even a minute level of success. They weren’t difficult, but her mind still wouldn’t cooperate or focus. 

Hence why she resorted to isolating herself in the dingy back room of the club. It was almost poetic. This was the type of place she belonged after her shameful failures today. A place with cracked walls, dirt and soot, no lighting, cobwebs, and empty splintered boxes. 

Kaz clenched the top of his crow’s head cane tightly as he limped down the stairs. He had spent the last hour waiting for Y/n to join him in his office, yet he’d seen no sign of her this evening. In fact, Kaz hadn’t seen her since the early hours of the day. 

It wasn’t just that she wasn’t in his office tonight following the dinner Inej made the crows, it was that he couldn’t find her in her room either. Kaz even passed Inej in the hall and asked if she’d seen Y/n. He knew if Nina were nearby she’d be able to notice the way his heart rate increased dramatically upon Inej mentioning she hadn’t made it to dinner tonight. It was very unlike Y/n to not enjoy the company of the other crows. 

Kaz could understand if he’d somehow done something to make her mad. However, that wouldn’t explain why she hadn’t joined the other crows for dinner. He never joined the crows for dinner of his own volition; unless Y/n pleaded with him for days prior. So something must have happened to prevent her from joining them tonight. 

He wasn’t sure what was behind her absence, but he planned to get to the bottom of it. Kaz knew he couldn’t protect her from everything, especially in the barrel. Saints, he’d told her as much himself. Besides, he knew Y/n was more than capable of handling things herself. But, her absence tonight made his heart ache until he was practically speed-walking through his club. 

“Boss, come join us” Jesper called, waving Kaz over to where he was. Jesper was leaning against the bar counter, Wylan beside him shaking his head. 

“I’m clearly busy” Kaz retorted harshly, continuing his departure to the streets of the Barrel. 

“Is everything alright?” Wylan bravely asked as he pulled a drink away from Jesper. 

Kaz glanced sharply in his direction and shook his head, “I’m missing a crow”.

Wylan appeared to think for a moment, likely counting each crow and where/when he’d seen them last. “Who?” he pressed, unable to deduce who was missing. 

This infuriated Kaz. How could Wylan, or any of his crows, not notice Y/n’s absence? Nor see it as problematic or concerning? Kaz reluctantly pushed those irritations aside for the time. Yet, he made a mental note to return to the matter later. After he’d found y/n.

“Y/n” Kaz groaned, his gloved hand squeezing the top of his cane until he felt the metal edges grinding into his palm. 

“Really? I just saw-“ Wylan began, stopping when Jesper exaggeratedly shook his head and waved his hands around in the air. 

Kaz rose his right eyebrow at the couple and turned to face them. He made his way to them silently, his grip still tight on his cane. But his pace had slowed now that there seemed to be a piece of information he had been missing. 

“Where?” Kaz demanded firmly once he reached the counter. 

“Umm… maybe I was-“ Wylan mumbled, his eyes full of confusion as he looked between his drunken boyfriend and Kaz’s angry glare. 

Kaz smacked his cane against the hard floor, the sound reverberating throughout the club. Everything around them halted as all eyes shifted to watch Kaz tower menacingly over Jesper and Wylan. He turned enough to send the onlookers a warning glance. 

Once the rest of the room had resumed their previously abandoned activities, Kaz stared expectantly at Wylan. Jesper was clearly in no place to be of assistance, despite the fact that he clearly knew something. Wylan, on the other hand, appeared to know where Y/n was at, but not whatever detail had Jesper telling him not to disclose her location. 

“She…” Wylan trailed off, still uncertain whether to trust the hesitation of his boyfriend or comply with Kaz’s unspoken order. 

Jesper groaned, leaning his head on the sticky counter. “No one chooses to stay back there if they want to be found” he mumbled. 

Kaz furrowed his brows as he leaned closer to them. “If neither one of you tell me where she is within the next twenty seconds, I will-“ he began to threaten. 

Wylan cut him off before he could inform them of their potential consequence. “Are you planning on hurting her?” Wylan questioned. 

Kaz’s stare hardened despite the pain in his chest at the insinuation. He had never done anything to hurt Y/n. Saints, he threatened his crows, but would never truly act on it. Kaz knew his reputation was likely the reason Wylan was asking. Yet, Kaz hated that Wylan felt he had to ask if Kaz would hurt Y/n of all people. 

Wylan’s body language shifted as he picked up on Kaz’s reaction to his question. Nonetheless, Kaz needed to know where Y/n was. More specifically, he needed visual confirmation that she was safe. And ideally, learn why she was seemingly avoiding him. “No”.

“She’s in the back. Behind the old storage boxes for the bar” Wylan stated, tilting his head towards the door behind him. 

Kaz nodded once at Wylan, sent a stiff glance at Jesper, and moved past them. He couldn’t control the thoughts in his mind as he made his way back to the storage room. Why would she choose to be in the one truly unkempt place in the club? Why did she prefer to be there instead of in his office? 

As the door creaked open, he saw movement behind the row of shabby shelves. He stared intently in that direction, hoping for another glance. He could’ve sworn he’d seen her y/h/c during the initial flicker of movement. But he didn’t want to announce himself just yet if he was wrong. 

As he moved closer, he heard the sound of someone hitting the floor; he picked up his pace upon recognizing Y/n’s faint groan. It only took him a few seconds to reach the end of the aisle. When he did, he came upon the sight of her attempting to get off the ground. 

Kaz watched as her eyes flickered from the ground, to his cane, then back down. He sighed loudly. If it wasn’t before, it was now evident she was avoiding Kaz. But he still couldn’t figure out why. 

Y/n noticed Kaz extended his gloved hand down for her to use to stand. Y/n shook her head, pushing herself up. Once she was on her feet again, she brushed herself off. “Excuse me” she whispered, attempting to move around him. 

Kaz’s gloved hand stopped her from leaving, his leather covered fingers wrapping around her wrist. He silently tapped her inner wrist before tugging on her arm. “Look at me” he said. 

Y/n slowly spun around to face him but remained silent.  

“Why are you acting like this?” Kaz asked, furrowing his brows as he stared down at her. He slowly let go of her wrist and dropped his hand back down to his side. 

“Like what? I need to-“ she began, eyeing his gloves. 

“Continue avoiding me?” He pushed, giving her a knowing look. 

Kaz watched the way her eyes widened and lips parted. She clearly hadn’t expected him to call her out on her actions. Or perhaps she didn’t expect him to notice at all. Either way, it was clear he’d caught her off guard. 

“You didn’t think I’d notice?” Kaz questioned, his voice a bit sharper than he intended. 

Y/n glanced down at her dirty boots and sighed. “I hoped you wouldn’t. I hoped you would be focused on something other than my idiotic self” she admitted. 

“Excuse me?” Kaz spat, frowning until he felt a pain above his eye. 

“I am a failure, Kaz. That’s why I can’t look you in the eyes” y/n explained, shifting under his piercing stare. 

Kaz sighed in annoyance, “Y/n, you know I don’t tolerate lying”.

“I’m not lying” she whispered, her voice cracking. 

Kaz’s gaze softened as he saw a silent tear roll down her cheek. He shifted his jaw and took a deep breath. Kaz was about to ask Y/n what she was referring to when he heard her let out a quiet, shaking sob. 

Kaz abruptly snapped his body in the opposite direction. He ignored the pain in his knee as he quickly limped back to the door that lead to the main hall of the club. 

“Please don’t leave, I’ll stop crying” y/n whimpered, suddenly behind him. She grabbed his wrist with her hand, careful to only rest her skin again his jacket sleeve rather than his exposed skin. 

Kaz turned to her, moving his arm until her hand was in his gloved one. He gave her as tender of a nod as he could. His voice was still rough but quiet as he told her “I’m sending everyone home”.

Worried the club would lose money by closing early, she began to argue. “But it’s busy tonight. It’s important that we-“ 

“No,” Kaz cut her off, squeezing her hand, “you’re what’s important right now”.

Kaz watched as Y/n crawled onto his bed silently. She was now dressed in one of his shirts and a pair of her shorts. The open window of his room provided some relief from the stuffy warmth of the air this time of year. 

He wasn’t sure how to help her. To be fair, he wasn’t sure how to help anyone. Being vulnerable and emotionally supportive were not his strong suits.  

He couldn’t physically hold her as she expressed her feelings. He wasn’t great at showing or expressing his own feelings. He didn’t know how to begin the conversation without upsetting her. And he didn’t know how to verbally respond if she were to express the reason for her depressed state. 

He could be straight forward, he was good at that. But he didn’t feel that was enough. It was one thing to tell her she wasn’t a failure like she claimed, it was another to be able to elaborate on that and offer a compliment instead. And Kaz wasn’t good at the latter. 

“You’re okay” Kaz said in a weak attempt at comforting her. He sighed softly as she nodded doubtfully and stared at her lap. He wasn’t off to a good start. “Did you.. Want to talk?” Kaz asked hesitantly. While he wasn’t sure how well that talk would go, he could at least offer one. 

She glanced up at him briefly before her eyes quickly looked elsewhere, “No”. 

Kaz nodded and removed his hat and jacket. He watched her closely while he hung up his items, eyes scanning her face as she tried to regulate her emotions. Once his outer layers were hanging on the rack, he made his way to her. 

Sitting beside her, he still wasn’t sure what to do, but he would at least offer his presence. Kaz slowly extended his hand between them, palm up. 

Y/n looked down at his hand and flickered her eyes up to his face in search of confirmation. When she received an affirmative nod, she rested her hand in his gloved one. She nearly jumped when his fingers laced through hers, and he gave her hand a comforting squeeze. 

His actions eased some of her guilt, nerves, and shame. She now felt that perhaps she could tell him what was troubling her after all. Y/n knew he might not understand, but at least she could try and get it off her chest. 

She hesitantly whispered his name in the form of a question, “Kaz?”. The corners of her lips twitched upwards faintly when he squeezed her hand again and hummed quietly as a sign for her to continue. “Maybe I do want to talk…is that okay?” Y/n asked. 

Kaz nodded and gave her another small squeeze as he worked to calm the imaginary waters hitting his legs from the contact. 

“I am not getting any of it done” she confessed, staring at the wall across the room from them. 

“Any of what?” Kaz questioned, his eyes watching her body language intently. 

“My jobs, I’m falling behind, and….and…and…” Y/n rambled, her mind once again unable to focus. Even now, when it came to her own emotions, her brain just would not focus enough for her to form the right words. 

“And?” Kaz asked, his soft tone and careful attention saying more than his words ever could. 

Y/n snapped her eyes over to him, the tears in them making Kaz grind his teeth. “I’m failing you” she responded after a few seconds. 

“What?“ he questioned, letting out a breathy exhale. His tone this time was much harsher and more serious. Kaz hoped it displayed his offense over such a suggestion rather than coming across in a hurtful manner. 

“I’m failing you” Y/n repeated. She looked away from his tense eyes, sighing when she felt his hand slackening its grip on hers. As a result, she began to pull her hand from his in embarrassment. 

Kaz noticed the action and promptly readjusted his grip. He gave her a silent squeeze as he composed his thoughts. “What are you talking about?” Kaz finally asked, schooling his eyes to remain soft, despite his concern. 

“You asked me to review the maps of Chenvilun’s, but I can’t focus” y/n cried. “I tried, but every sound from downstairs distracted me” She elaborated. 

When Kaz nodded slowly, she continued, “So, I went to the University library. I thought it would be quiet”. Y/n sighed loudly, “But then the sound of pens from the studying students wouldn’t stop echoing in my head”. 

Y/N’s free hand dragged down her face, “It’s hard to explain. But… Then I headed back here, and I can’t stop thinking about other things”. She felt Kaz’s eyes on her as she attempted to explain herself. “I could focus on some of those for a little while, but those weren’t what you asked me to do” she stated, frustration evident in her voice. “I wasn't accomplishing or doing what I needed to be… Meaning I also fell behind on the other stuff” Y/n confessed with a sniffle. 

The confused look Kaz responded with prompted her to elaborate on that concern. “I didn't do my regular chores either; I didn’t help Nina with the dishes, or visit Rotty at the docks to see if there was anything to report to you” y/n pointed out, unconsciously tightening her grip on Kaz’s hand as her emotions took over, “and then I got so overwhelmed that it cycled and I-..I…I..-“

Kaz saw the signs of a panic attack beginning to take over; he knew the warning signs all too well. However, as he despised his own, he hated hers even more. At least with his, he was the one suffering. With hers, Y/n was the one in pain, and Kaz hated that. Especially since he couldn’t offer her much help whenever they’d hit. 

He quietly moved closer to her, hoping his proximity would help. Kaz felt her hand slip from his as she began to tug on her hair with both hands, breathing loudly. He moved his gloved hand towards her and placed it on her shoulder. 

“Y/n/n, your only task right now…” he stopped himself to reword his response. “The only thing I need, is for you to breathe” Kaz told her. 

“No, you-“ She argued breathily. 

Kaz firmly shook his head, “Your order is to breathe. That’s all.” He followed up his statement by intentionally breathing loudly. He maintained a steady pace in hopes she’d copy his breathing with her own. 

Once her breathing was starting to improve, she lowered her hand from her face. Y/n took a deep breath, making sure the intake matched Kaz’s. She risked looking up at him despite her embarrassment. “You’re not mad I failed you?” Y/n wondered. 

“You didn’t fail me” Kaz replied simply. When Y/n silently shook her head in disagreement, Kaz sighed. “Y/n, you did not fail me” he promised. Stepping outside his comfort zone, he tenderly added, “You could never fail me”. While he wasn’t sure about confessing such a vulnerable sentiment to her, when he saw the shimmer of joy in Y/n’s eyes, he knew it was worth it. 

“One thing at a time, and we do it together” Kaz stated upon sensing Y/n was still worried over not finishing her jobs.

She nodded her agreement and grabbed the papers she had set down beside her when they entered his room. 

“No. After you rest” Kaz corrected sternly. 

Despite his sternness, Y/n still resisted his attempt to get her to forget about her duties for the night. “But,-“ she began to protest. 

Kaz’s gloved hand shook slightly as he stroked Y/n's cheek, brushing a loose lock of hair from her face. “Not resting will make it worse,” He reminded her. Kaz cleared his throat, once again being more intentional with his words. “It will make you feel worse, and I won’t have that” Kaz explained. 

Y/n wiped her face and nodded, but she still gave him a sad look that told him she wasn’t entirely on board yet. “I can’t sleep if my mind is racing” she explained. She looked shamefully back down at her lap. Kaz had already done so much for her tonight, yet here she was, still complaining. 

Kaz silently racked his brain for a solution. Suddenly, it hit him as his eyes landed on the tiny bookshelf he’d installed specifically for Y/n’s collection. She had her own bookcase in her bedroom; however, Kaz often noticed she’d bring books to his room, trying to keep them neatly stacked and out of his way. Since then, hed had one of the dregs install the shelf.  

The bookshelf served as a reminder to him of all the many occasions in which he would find her hyper-focused on reading her latest book. He knew she wasn’t likely able to read to herself tonight given her inattentiveness, but he suspected the material from her books could still offer her a distraction from the self-deprecating thoughts racing through her mind. 

As such, Kaz unexpectedly offered to read aloud to her. It came as a surprise to both of them, as it was an unusual behavior and fairly intimate for the couple. But Kaz added it to his mental arsenal of solutions for whenever her focus failed her again. After all, it wasn’t long after he began reading to her that he found himself grinning like an idiot as she fell asleep in his bed with a small smile on her face.

Kaz Brekker Navigation

Six of Crows Navigation

Grishaverse Navigation

Freddy Carter Navigation

Book Boyfriends Navigation

My Main Masterlist Navigation (All My Works)

Tag list: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @directioner5life @nikfigueiredo @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @winstonthecow22 @missdreamofendless @supergaybish101

[charliehoennam]

danny, the devil

A/N: dedicated to @juniebugg. thank you so much for all the support and the wonderful ideas. keep them coming! *wink wink*

Pairing: Dark!Danny Sharp x f!reader

Warnings: language, degradation, dub-con/non-con, cumplay, unprotected sex, choking, oral, drugging (this is pure filth. minors, do not read and do not interact!)

Word count: 3,459

SHARING IS CARING, SO PLEASE REBLOG

As you opened your eyes, you struggled to adjust to the hazy vision. The sleep weighted heavy in your eyes as you tried to understand where you were. There was too much to process at once. One minute, you were having a glass of wine with Danny in his kitchen after your shift. And the next, you wake to a burning warmth was building up from inside.

“His room?” you thought to yourself.

Your skin felt the breeze all over. It took a while to process. You realized you were fully naked on his bed. A panic began to flood your chest. You wanted to crawl away and hide, but as you moved around a bit to get yourself, you realized your wrists were tied behind your back, began to numb as you laid on them.

“I knew that would wake you up” Danny chuckled with a dark mischievous grin.

Hearing his voice, you looked down between your legs and found his piercing blue orbs from between your legs.

“Just in time too. Party’s getting started and I like to play with my food. Means you gotta be awake!”

He laughed darkly and slapped your puffy folds, enjoying the way your flesh jiggled. It sent a shock of pain through you, fully waking up all your sense.

“I waited a long time for this. Wouldn’t have drugged you if you hadn’t fucking cockblocked all my moves.”

A tinge of anger, you detected. Having deflected all his cheesy pick-up lines throughout the years you worked for him as his personal assistant really did a number to his ego.

“That’s ok, though. I got you all to myself now” he smiled darkly as he slid his middle finger between your folds, using his index and ring fingers to soothe the delicate skin. “And I’m gonna have some fun with you.”

His low tone of voice concerned you. You were already in shock and could no longer fight back the tears. You knew fighting back would be useless. He was 3 times your size. What chance did you think you had?

“Aw, honey. It’s okay. You’d better get used to crying” he feigned, pouting at your tears.

Your body shook as his hand struck your cunt again and again.

He laughed and hissed watching your breasts bounced, standing on his knees between your legs.

“Look at your tits” he growled, gathering them in his large hands and painfully squeezing and kneading. “So fucking beautiful for me.”

He excruciatingly latched onto your nipples, biting and sucking on them as if his life depended on it. It hurt and made you sob as you realized how helpless you were. You tried your best to stay silent as he continued with his agonizing attention to your tits until he moved to hover over you with his knees on either side of your hips. As he mounted you, his balls dangled and grazed over your stomach. He was already naked and hard. How long had he been eating you out?

“That’s right, baby. Cry for me” he ordered sternly as his hand balled into a fist with your hair to force you to look at him. The other hand struck you again. His dark eyes locked onto yours as he repeatedly slapped your breasts hard enough to leave them red. Then he focused on your face, slapping your cheeks over and over.

You felt humiliated and mortified, but you could feel your body’s betrayal as the slick began coating your pussy lips.

“Cry for me, baby. I wanna hear you crying” he demanded. “Look at that pretty little mouth. Fuck, I gotta get my cock in it.”

With a groan, he balled his fist into your hair to drag you off the bed. You could barely move your legs as he forced you down to your knees. The pain burned on your scalp, but you couldn’t resist him.

He ordered you to open your mouth and at first, you hesitated. Another slap across your cheek was convincing enough.

“You like that, don’t you? You’re a little filthy fucking slut, baby. Just the way I like ‘em” he stated holding your chin to keep your teary gaze on him. “You gonna open that mouth for me or do you want it harder?”

You responded by opening your mouth, much to his delight. He loved the newfound power he had over you. Gathering his saliva, he spit into your mouth. Before you could even blink, he was shoving his cock into the back of your throat. You gagged around him, but he didn’t lighten up.

“Don’t you dare fucking throw up. You take it all like the whore you are.”

His stern words were enough to make you obey. You feared what he would do to you. You didn’t want to let him down, so you did your best to take him as he started to thrust his cock. You didn’t know exactly what he did for a living, but you knew that he had some sketchy ass friends. And whatever he did, he got paid really well to own such a modern and luxurious home.

“Breathe through your nose” you reminded yourself as you gurgled.

You looked up and found it easier if you kept your eyes on him. He moaned as he fucked your mouth ruthlessly, making you drool down your chin. Tears were streaming from your eyes, staining your cheeks with mascara and eyeliner.

“God, baby. Really know how to suck a cock, don’tcha? Look so fucking pretty with my dick in your mouth” he moaned forcing it down your throat.

You shook your head, trying to escape for air but he refused.

“Take it. Take it.” He repeated watching you with a stern look.

Squeezing his grip on your hair, he suddenly pulled himself out of your mouth just as your vision had begun to darken. You gasped for air, closing your eyes in relief as you tried to regain your fleeting conscious. He chuckled noticing how dizzy you were from the lack of oxygen.

“You fucking love this. All cockdrunk on me already?” he laughed slapping his hard member against your face as you struggled to keep your eyes open and mumbled incoherently. “What’s that? You want more? Yeah, you can have more.”

He lifted himself a bit to force your mouth on his balls.

“Suck on them” he demanded.

You did as you instructed. Sucking them allowed you time to finally fucking breathe, so you gave it your all hoping he’d enjoy more than the blowjob. You took them in, one at a time and sucked on them like your life depended on it. As far as you knew, that might’ve been just the case.

He growled as he pulled your head back only to shove his cock down your throat again. He fucked your mouth until he could feel himself getting closer and closer to cumming. You hoped he would, thinking it might end everything. But when he pushed you off, letting you fall against the side of the bed, you knew you were in for a long night.

“That was fucking close. Shouldn’t be surprised that whore mouth you got on ya.”

Pulling your hair to get you up enough, he threw you on the bed. He pulled your hip and forced you onto your back again. Your thighs burned as he shoved them back against your chest, pulling you widely apart.

Pushing his face into your cunt, he devoured you like a man starved for weeks. He hungrily lapped his tongue over and over your folds, smirking proudly to himself.

“I see I’m not the only one enjoying myself here” he mumbled.

Fuck.

You yelped as his hand slapped your cunt again, far more sensitive than before. That’s how he wanted you. He buried his face again to ravage your pussy. Poking the tip of his nose against your sensitive numb, he quickly flicked his tongue repeatedly into your hole to savor all your juices. The swaying of his head pushed his nose deeper and glided over your clit as he deeply inhaled your scent. His tongue didn’t cease at all, delving its way into you. Hooking his arms around your hips, he lifted them up off the mattress in his rage of hunger.

You couldn’t deny the pleasure he was stirring in you. You didn’t want to feel it, but your body had betrayed you.

As he set you back down, he shoved two fingers in your wet cunt and buried them to the hilt. He wasted no time to pump them into you. The squelching wet sounds from your pussy made your cheeks burn red, but made his cock twitch with anxiety to fuck you. You could hear it echoing in the room, bouncing off the wall as you wormed and wriggled under him.

The pressure in your core built even more when he added another two more fingers, brutally fucking you as he stretched your cunt on his large hand.

"Goddamn, baby. You're fucking soaked" he teased through gritted teeth.

Tears streamed down your temples as you clenched your teeth, doing your best to take him. You weren't sure if it was due to the pain of his fingers stretching your swelling cunt or the white-hot pleasure that he had succeeded in infecting you with. The pressure in your depths snapped repeatedly, especially after his thumb found its way to your clit. He worked you until you came over and over again.

"Fuck. I gotta get my cock in you" he hissed ripping his fingers out of you with a soft wet slop.

You tried to take advantage of the pause to catch your breath and close your legs to let them rest a bit. You closed your eyes and rolled onto your side tiredly. Your hips were burning from being pried and probed. But your break didn't last for too long.

Danny pushed you back open to splay you all out for him again. He aligned himself and glided the head of his dick up and down through your folds.

"Pretty little pussy you got here" he groaned. "So fucking wet for me too. Don't even need lube with ya.  Like a fucking invitation."

You winced at the burn of your hips, but he didn't seem to care. He was too busy watching his cock slowly penetrate past your folds. You wish he had been going slowly out of consideration, but you knew he was only fascinated by your puffy swollen lips engulfing his every inch.

The stretch around his cock was just as painful as his fingers. You couldn’t relax as your muscles tensed, only encouraging him further with the tight squeeze of your pussy on his dick. He moved slowly in and out to watch your labias hug his member almost as if hypnotized. You were nothing more than a toy in his disposal.

He smirked to himself, wanting to have his cock as deep as he possibly could in you. That was when he had the bright idea to pull himself out of you and used his fingers to pry your pussy open into a gaping hole. He slowly let his spit dribble down into your womb, smirking as he watched your muscles contract at the pain.

"Gonna have me in ya for days, baby."

He was quickly to get his dick back into you but this time, he wasn't as gentle as the first. He shoved his cock into your cunt and began his thrusting. It was rough and rocked the whole bed.  He leaned down to prop himself up with a hand beside your head.

Raising the hand that he had probed you with beforehand, he forces his fingers into your mouth and ordered you to suck them.

You gagged on them and hadn't been able to comprehend his command. He slapped you across the cheek and squeezed your cheeks, making you look up at him as his hips relentlessly pounded against yours. The room was filled with the sticky slaps of his steady rhythm.

"You fucking stupid, baby? Did you not hear me? I said to suck."

You nodded quickly as you did your best to stay focused. You wrapped your lips around his fingers and sucked them as he wanted. All you think about was how sore you were already, but he felt so good. You knew he wasn't supposed to and that you were supposed to hate every second. But his cock had you seeing stars by this point.

You realized your breathing had become restricted as you held your breath. You hadn't noticed his hand slipping out of your mouth and gripping it's wet fingers around your throat. You stared at the ceiling hoping you'd pass out so you wouldn't have to live through this internal conflict any longer. You never should've trusted Danny.

He let go just before you could pass out and you gasped for air. His hand was quickly replaced by his mouth. As he mauled your neck, his beard scraped against the sweaty hot skin. He groaned as he bit you, making marks all over your neck and shoulders. He didn't just want to fuck you. He wanted to claim you.

As he felt himself growing close to his climax, he stopped suddenly to prolong his edging. He didn't want the fun to end just yet. You fell to your side like a rag doll with hardly any energy left in you.

He pulled his cock back out and pushed you hard onto your front. You laid there helpless and spent as he climbed off the bed. You took advantage of the moment to wipe away the stinging mascara and the messy drool as you withered in his bed, so defenseless. No doubt you looked like a mess. There was a rustling through a drawer and then, buzzing. He moved back to the bed and tugged your ankle forcefully towards him as he climbed back onto the bed.

You were too tired to look at him. You tried to avoid it because you knew he was just too fucking hot and you might end up enjoying the night. Lying on your front, you were just relieved to your hands and arms could have a little more circulation.

You felt him tuck something between your legs and immediately you knew what it was. A vibrating wand. Your hips arched instantly into the toy.

You begged Danny to stop. You couldn't take any more orgasms. You pleaded through tears and promised you wouldn't tell anyone.

"Honey, you think I wanna hide our lovemaking? I want the world to know about it. I want everyone to know who you belong to. I'm not gonna stop. I'm just getting started."

He sat on the backs of your thighs to hold your legs and the toy in place. You could feel building up again. The sweet intoxicating pleasure that corrupted your body. You thought you were gonna go blind.

Danny smiled as he slowly let his palms caress your ass cheeks. He squeezed the flesh and slid his thumb down your crack to tease your hole there.

"Pretty pussy. Pretty tits. Only makes sense to have such a pretty tight ass."

His hands continued to knead your flesh until he lifted one of them to slap you hard. As you withered in a mixture of pain and pleasure, he chuckled to himself and relished in the jiggling of your ass. The stinging pain combined with the vibrations from the wand stuck between your thighs only drove you wild. You didn’t want to enjoy it, but your body seemed to welcome it. You could feel the pressure winding up to snap with every smack.

“You like this, dirty girl. You like getting punished” he grinned darkly as he noticed you grinding your pussy against the toy.

“I wanna hear how much you like it.”

You stayed silent and shook your head, trying to resist your undeniable lechery blooming from your core. The vibrations against your sensitive clit were pushing you over the edge, threatening to throw you into that sweet blinding bliss again. How could you resist it? How could you resist him? It didn’t help that he was shaped like a god, muscles threaded from gold and molded by the Gods themselves.

Your legs tried to part as you spasmed and shook from the orgasms. Danny could feel your muscles flexing underneath him when you tried to lift your hips for relief. He smirked to himself and chuckled grimly as he soothingly palmed your red-hot cheeks. Despite his delicate caresses, he tensed his body to add more weight to the back of your legs.

“No, no, no. You gotta take it, like a good little slut.”

By the time he had finally gotten up to remove the toy, your pussy was drenched in your own juices. You could feel the bedsheet soaked underneath you. You pretty sure you’d squirted from the overwhelming orgasms Danny had forced onto you.

Forcing your hips up into the air with rough hand, you fell onto your face as you were unable to prop yourself up while Danny positioned you; his own personal fuck doll. He shoved his cock into your drenched cunt with such an ease that made you embarrassed.

“Jesus fucking Christ. So fucking wet, I bet I could fit my whole fist in there” he groaned. He probably would’ve tried if hadn’t felt so euphoric with his cock in your pussy.

You were certain you’d be bruised inside and out by the brutal grip on your hip and the ruthless thrusts into your walls. The closer he felt himself to his orgasm, the rougher he got. Tears spilled from your eyes as you struggled to breathe, panting from his merciless rhythm. You buried your mascara-stained face into the mattress. His balls pounded against your overly tender nub, slick adhering the sticky sore folds of your cunt to his balls.

“I’m gonna cum so fucking hard in your filthy whore cunt” he panted with a growl.

With a sudden strong tug on your hair, he forced your head up to stand you up on your knees. He climbed onto the bed on his knees as well and pushed you up the bed. Every part of you ached enough to lock you in a trance. It became worse when he slammed your head against the headboard.

Thrusting his cock back into your aching pussy, his greedy hands reached around you to violently grope your breasts. Your neck burned with his beard scratching your skin as he mauled you hungrily. He sucked and bit outrageously as he chased his long-awaited high.

“S-so fucking good” he moaned. “Fuck, baby. Can’t get enough” he panted through gritted teeth.

One hand pulled your hair and contorted you into an excruciating position, fiercely latching his lips onto yours in a violent kiss. You winced and yelped, crying softly as you kissed him back. The warmth of your kiss, the hot slick of your pussy, the fullness of your breast squeezed tight in his hand. That was all he needed to burst.

“G-God, fuck!” he growled.

He coated your walls with his pearly white seed, filling your sore cunt with its deliciously sweet heat. His hips slowed as he pushed his cum deeper and deeper.

“Attagirl. Take it all.” He breathed nibbling on your shoulder.

It was finally over.

He pulled himself out and let you collapse lifelessly on the bed. Relief washed over you, although you couldn’t deny that hollowness you felt in your pussy without his cock. As his cum trickled down your inner thighs, you felt his heavy figure shift and felt him removing the restraints on your wrists. You wanted to rub the feeling back into them, but you were too tired to move. Until you hear a drawer open.

You peered over your shoulder and watched in shock. He held a massive black dildo in one hand and a metal bar in the other. It clinked against the restraints on both sides of it. Leather cuffs and metal links connected to the metal bar.

Pulling your ankles, he forced you to the edge of the bed and fastened the cuffs around your shins. It forced your legs to stay wide apart. With a dark grin, he ran his hand over your exposed pussy and gathered his white cum. He lifted his hand to press your cheeks and forcibly open your mouth. Hovering his coated fingers over your mouth, he let it drip down and onto your tongue.

“Swallow it, my little whore princess. We’re just getting started.”

[cloudcountry]

SUMMARY: you fall asleep on isaac's shoulder while he's working.

WARNINGS: none!!! :D

COMMENTS: ASGHFDHSAGD THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR IKEVAMP!!!!! i literally adore isaac sosososososo much he is so cute :((( I HOPE I WROTE HIM WELL!!!! :D

OH YEA tagging @dove-da-birb because i think you said you wante dto be tagged ahgsdhas

The weight of their head on Isaac’s shoulder snaps him out of the concentrated trance he’d found himself in. He turns his head, slowly and with bated breath, and feels his cheeks flush bright red at the sight that greets him. Sure enough, they’d fallen asleep on him. He should probably wake them up, he thinks, but as they breathe softly and their chest rises and falls and he watches, he’s not thinking much at all.

He couldn’t understand why they’d insisted on accompanying him for his late-night research session when they had other things to do. There was no reason to do so since he’d gotten by completely fine on his own, but they hadn’t backed down. Isaac was notoriously weak to them anyways—anyone in the mansion knew he would have said yes no matter what. They had a way of making him feel calm, like his existence wasn’t torture, like he didn’t constantly make mistakes and misunderstand the people around him.

They were quite the paradox. They laid themselves out to him like an open book, and yet he couldn’t read much of the words. Over the weeks they’d known each other, he’d learned how, but most of the pages were filled with jumbled words he didn’t understand and beautiful pictures he couldn’t interpret. And yet they were never a cruel teacher. They were the most patient person he’d ever met, guiding his hands across the gold-lined pages and helping him sound out the words that lead him through the paths of their heart. Sometimes, the words he found helped him find the way through his own heart. It was undoubtedly a beautiful thing, and although it was void of the equations he’d depended on his whole life, Isaac found himself less frightened by the day.

They would never hurt him. They treated him far too gently for that. Always there with a kind word and a nod when he began to ramble, always there to tell his housemates to knock it off with their teasing but often teasing him themselves, always there to hold his hand and ask him if he needed a hug at the end of the day. They prepared him tea on nights when he couldn’t sleep, too focused on his research and knowing he’d pass out at his desk and wake up with a blanket draped across his shoulders. There would be a little note scribbled out resting on top of his stack of papers, signed with their name and letting him know that they’d be bringing him breakfast in the late morning.

He wishes he had the courage to do the same for them. It was one of the many things about them he found adorable and one of the many things he would never admit to thinking about them.

“Do you think of me the way I think of you?” he murmurs to them, although they are fast asleep. Of course, they do not answer.

The ticking of the watch he fixed just for them echoes in the silence he leaves.

“If I asked you to stay...if I was selfish enough to ask that of you...would you comply? Would you fulfill my wish?” Isaac’s voice is impossibly softer, the yearning in his aching heart betrayed by the wobbling of his words.

They don't belong here. He knows this. They belong back in their world, where they have a family and friends and a life. He isn’t a natural part of who they are, even if he wishes he could grow to be. He wants to be part of what they want so badly, but that’s not possible. He’d only hurt them. And even if they say they trust him over and over, he does not trust himself. They are precious to him, someone he wants to protect more than anything—and to lose them now would destroy him.

His eyes flick back to his forgotten work, and he sighs. Raking his hand through his hair, he picks back up his pen and starts to write again. Their head on his shoulder burns through his shirt. He can feel their warmth. His hand shakes as it scribbles out an equation, and his cheeks still burn a fiery red. He’s gnawing on his bottom lip and bouncing his leg so fiercely he almost bangs his knee on the wood, but he doesn’t stop.

Do they have any idea how serious this is? Isaac could lose control of his hunger at any moment and hurt them just like he did before. His eyes flicker to their hand, and even though the bandages are gone, he still feels that stab of guilt. How do they feel safe enough with him to fall asleep near him? Even if it wasn’t on purpose, they should have left the second they were feeling tired. They should have bid him goodnight and patted his shoulder like they always did when they said goodbye and left him to his own devices. And yet they did not, because they are the strangest phenomenon he’s ever witnessed.

He loves them. He loves them like they strung up all the stars he loves to study in the sky, he loves them like they’re the only person he’ll ever know this well, he loves them like they’re the only person who would ever care for him even though they’d insist they’re not. He loves them like they’re everything and he knows there’s no way he could tell them that. He’s not good with words. He’s not good with affection.

And he is certainly not good with love.

Isaac turns back to them in what he wholeheartedly believes is a moment of weakness because they smell so nice and they look so at peace and—

They whisper his name.

A soft “Isaac” leaves their lips, and he stiffens at the sound. His face burns hotter now, his leg bounces more, his heart is pounding in his ears and his blood is rushing through his veins and—

He whips his head back towards his paper, intent on focusing on his work, only to see loopy scribbles of their name on his notes.

Gah, he needs to control himself.

Even when he wasn’t thinking, his body still yearned for them. How traitorous his hands were.

[robynlilyblack]

A good mum

Sirius Black and fem! reader

[Requested – see request here]

Summary: Y/n and Sirius never planned on being parents, but after the events of Halloween they are left to raise Harry 

Warnings: talks of pregnancy and birth, cannon character death, grief, insecurities, hurt/comfort, all things baby related (diapers etc), big angst in places but lots of fluff, mentions of nudity, eating, food and sex

A/n: 6.6k words, I really like this, a lot of the things are based off of my own experiences with my baby cousins and me being completely incompetent living on my own, thank you for the request, enjoy x

Navigation | Sirius Black Masterlist 

You had never fancied yourself a mother, even from a young age you just knew you never wanted kids. People around you always gave the ‘you’ll change your mind later’ but the years went by and, if anything, you became more adamant about it. 

There were two main reasons, the first was you were positive you wouldn’t make a good mum, you couldn’t hardly take care of yourself let alone another human being that depended solely on you not to mention you were a bit of a risk taker and definitely lacked the responsibly needed. Second, the idea of actually giving birth and pregnancy along with all the associated pain terrified you and after seeing your godson come out of your best friend that was solidified. Birth wasn’t a beautiful thing; sure, once little Harry was all cleaned up he was cute as a button it was but merlin was it gross and accidently picking up Lily’s mucus plug was probably the worst part.

Due to this, most of your relationships never lasted too long as they would start talking about the future, having kids. Sure, you were young at the time but with the war life moved faster than normal, people were getting married and starting families young since no one was sure they would survive. 

After graduation you moved in with your best friend, Sirius, since James and Lily decided to get a house and he was now in need of a roommate and you a place to stay. You and he had always had a connection, you were terribly similar, so much so it was the reason neither of you ever made a move. That was until the close proximity finally pushed you both over that fine line you were teetering on

“Siri I’m back!” you call out, hauling in the heavy shopping bags “Siri!” your shout is a little strained 

You get no response so you struggle with the bags and close the door on your own, that was until you catch one on the corner of the table and everything spills out. You were only thankful you didn’t buy eggs as it all hit the floor the cans causing a considerable large thump

“Fuck” you yelp as one of them hits your foot, squatting down and letting your butt fall to the floor as you clutch your foot

You look up to hear the banging of a door and what sounds like a skid followed by Sirius coming around the corner panicking

“Holy shit, are you okay darling?” he asks kneeling down in front of you, checking you’re alright but your more focused on his current attire

No wonder he didn’t hear you he had been in the shower, hair damp with droplets falling from his perfect curls, glistening chest covered in the tattoos you had always adored and a pretty pink towel wrapped around him, one which used to be white but thanks to a pair of Sirius’ boxers had been since dyed

“Y/n?” he peers at you confused before following your eyes, beginning to smirk “Darling” he says in a lower tone

You finally look up “Yeah?” you ask a little flustered but not embarrassed, you had admired him many a time before as had he with you

“I asked if you were alright”

“Oh” you look around seeing the groceries, the pain in your foot returning “Yeah the bag broke and I think a tin or something hit my foot” your hands try to smooth the injury through your shoe

“Here” Sirius moves your hands away, slipping off of your shoe and sock, warm hands massaging over the area as he shifts closer, pulling your foot over his towel clad lap “Better” he looks up to see you smiling at him

“Much, thanks Siri” you scoot with your butt closer to him, wrapping your arms around him

He looks a little surprised but accepts it “What’s this for? If anything, it’s my fault for sleeping in and letting you go shopping yourself” he says kissing the top of your head

You hug him a little tighter before you let go looking up at him “Siri” you give him a look before shaking your head “Nothing” you wave it off going to get up but he stops you

Sirius eyes meet yours and almost like he can read your mind he leans in, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss. It’s sweet like he’s testing the waters, and when you don’t pull away he deeps it, pulling you closer to him as his lips begin to move in sync with your own

He rubs his nose with yours as he pulls away “That what you wanted to ask?” he says a little breathless

You smile, you and he were always on the same wavelength which is why he would still love you for this “Nope I was actually going to say that you really do smell like a wet dog now” you test with a teasing grin

He lets out a laugh “Oh really…I’ll show you a wet dog” he smirks wickedly at you

“I hope that’s a very strange euphemism…” then it hits you “Oh no” you scramble up as Sirius shifts, chasing you around the flat as a dog 

Eventually you fall over onto the couch turning onto your back as he jumps on top of you licking your face making you laugh

You hold up your hands “I yield, I yield please it tickles” you giggle but it slows as you feel added weight on top of you

Looking up you see Sirius back to his usual self, grinning down a you “Hello” he says in the flirtest tone he’d ever given you

“Hi” your hands move to grip the towel but there was none instead you griped his bare hips

Both of you look down to see Sirius wasn’t concentrating enough to shift back with the towel. His eyes flick to see your reaction, checking you aren’t uncomfortable, smiling to himself at your raised eyebrow, the way your lips are pressed together in an admiring smile

“Like the view darling?” he says confident, leaning in to kiss your forehead

You finally tear your eyes away “You better buy us another a new towel pretty sure that was the last one” you say causally

He pokes his cheek “As long as you dye them pink again, it suits me” he smiles at you

You nod eyes shamelessly flicking down “Deal and pink definitely suits you pretty boy…” you peck his lips “…my pretty boy?” you ask with slight inflection

His smile grows “Hell yeah…and you’re my darling?” he asks in a similar tone to you

“Hell yeah” you copy his enthusiasm and he chuckles “Oh and Siri…” you pull him closer to you

“Yes?” he licks his lips, letting his nose brushing over yours

“Killer view”

Everyone had already seen it coming a mile away and if the two of you were honest you both knew you were headed down this road already. Your dynamic didn’t change much, the two of you were touchier and kissed at every opportunity but you remained best friends, joked around and never bothered to confirm or add labels to anything because the two of you just knew. You and he never spoke about the future, you were still nervous about how he might react when you told him and little did you know he had the same worries.

Sirius never wanted to be a father, he was terrified he would impart his damage onto the child and he knew himself he was far too reckless to be intrusted with one. He bounced around from person to person back at Hogwarts, his relationships barely making it to one month, which is one of the reasons he made yours and his so special. There was this small looming feeling in his gut, he knew he wanted to marry you, spend his life with you and only you, but he didn’t want kids and he was scared when you found out that fact you would leave

“We have a little announcement” James clinks his glass standing up, smiling like a mad man

You and Sirius just smile, his hand squeezing your upper thigh as you turn to listen, Remus, Marlene and Dorca sitting opposite you with Peter on Sirius’ other side. James walks around to Lily’ side, hand going around her waist and then his hand and her touched her…stomach

Your heart fluttered, you knew she had been wanting a baby and been getting worried since it had been almost a year since their wedding, so you were overjoyed for her. 

“We’re pregnant” Lily’s says happily, both her and James’ smiles so wide

Marlene and Dorca practically jump up and tackle Lily as gently as they could while Remus stands to go give James a huge hug, followed quickly by you, Sirius and Peter. Soon everyone had given their congratulations as well as many, many hugs and now you were all digging into dinner

“Can’t believe one of us is going to have a little baby” Dorca says super excited, so much so Marlene giggles as she rubs her girlfriends back making sure she doesn’t combust

“I’m so happy for you guys, you’re going to make great parents” Remus says holding up his glass

You and Sirius raise yours and smile but there’s an uneasiness, Sirius’ hand returns to your thigh and yours cups his, both seeking comfort you didn’t know the other needed too

“Thanks guys, my Lilypad going to be the best mum in the world” James smiles fondly at Lily down the table before turning to you and Sirius “What about you two? Should we expect a mini pads or y/n” he wiggles his eyebrows

Your smiles falter but luckily Remus’ joke lightens the mood so you don’t have to answer “Wouldn’t be surprised they’re like bunnies” 

“I would have though Sirius would be more…doggy” Marlene teases eying Sirius while the rest laugh

Sirius keeps composed and laughs “Well since you asked we like variety in our lives and sometimes y/n likes to…” your hands claps over Sirius but everyone knows what he meant, Remus, Dorcas and Marlene giving you amused looks, James and Lily just giggle while Peter looks confused before going through the 5 stages of grief when he realises

Both you and Sirius hold each other that little bit tighter the rest of the night, something that both comforts and terrifies you both. As it leaves the two of you wondering if it’s because the other wants to have kids.

When you return to your flat you and he are quiet, which was abnormal. Sirius looked over at you whilst you were getting changed, watching as you fiddled with the top of your shirt unable to quite get the small clasp

“Let me” he says quietly, moving over and easily undoing the fastener

He motions silently for you to lift your arms pulling the shirt over your head before moving around to hook your bra, leaving you to start work on your trousers while he gets changed. As he finishes he sees you in thought as you pull a baggy shirt over your head 

“You alright?” he asks softly

You don’t look at him, just move to sit on the edge of the bed 

He joins you “What’s wrong?” he cups your hand with his, feeling a little worried, was this it? Were you going to ask him to try, would you leave when he told you no?

Your fingers trail over his hand for a few seconds like your trying to find the words and he waits patiently even if his mind is a run with thoughts

“Siri…I don’t want to have kids” you admit quietly, like it wasn’t the first time you had told someone and you were afraid he would act the way they did

Sirius takes a moment to process before wrapping an arm around your shoulder pulling you towards him and kissing your temple, relief washing over him, always the same wavelength

“You aren’t…disappointed right?” you face him, melting under his warm eyes

He shakes his head, hand cupping your cheek “No of course not” he assures, kissing your forehead “I…”

“No” you cut him off, confusing him “Please don’t say I can wait until you’re ready because…I don’t want kids. Ever. I’m happy being Harrys godmother, I’m happy to babysit but I…I…wouldn’t make a good mum and I don’t want to be one” you can’t look at him as you speak scared this will be the end 

He tilts your head to look at him, heart aching at your glassy eyes “Darling that’s okay. I was going to say that’s good because I don’t want to be a dad either” he confesses

Your shoulders relax “Really?” you ask and when he nods you climb over his lap and hug him

He hugs you back right away “You’d still marry me though?” he asks half serious

You break away, cupping his cheeks “When you ask me I’ll say yes”

You did end up getting married the following year, a few months after Harry was born. Everything was good for a while, until just after Harrys first birthday and everything began to fall apart. Marlene died first, you and Dorca where the ones to find her. Dorcas screams were something you would never forget, nor would you ever forgive yourself for not stopping her before she apparated, as she died less than a week later seeking vengeance on the one that killed the love of her life…little did you know that person was closer than you thought.

Remus went into isolation, Frank and Alice continued to fight but were wary for their son’s safety and the Prewett brothers were killed, then James, Lily and Harry needed to go into hiding. Dumbledore asked them to appoint a secret keeper, or keepers, he offered but of course James and lily wanted you and Sirius first. However, after much thought you decided it was too obvious so you asked Peter

Less than one week later, the spell concealing them was broken and your friends were murdered

The night of their death you and Sirius rushed to Peters hideout, under the impression Voldemort had got to him first but you were met with an empty hideout, no signs of struggle and evidence in the form of letters that your close friend, a brother to you both was a traitor. Sirius spent the next 30 minutes smashing everything in the room while you just sat and watched, heart shattered into pieces

“We need to find him, he needs to pay” Sirius says after a while, exasperated and beyond angry

You stare at him for a minute, he was right peter deserved to suffer but not at your hands, you had to be smart about this “We can’t”

“We can’t? Y/n he killed our friends!”

“He’s been a mole for months, possibility years, you don’t think he’s thought this through?” you stand up pointing to the letters “No one but us know he’s a mole Sirius, if we go on a blind revenge trip, we will slip up and he can easily frame us or we’ll get ourselves killed. How does that help Harry, or Moony or Alice and Frank if we go to Azkaban?”

“He killed Marlene y/n you read the letter she was his initiation…no wonder there was no forced entry she let him in the house!” he exclaims and you grimace

“Sirius I fucking know that, I saw her body, she didn’t even have her wand in her hand. Trust me I want him dead but we need to go to Dumbledore and explain, show him the letters, let what’s left of the order search for him. We’ve lost what feels like everyone Sirius, but if we go down that road be will actually lose everything”

After some more convincing Sirius reluctantly came home with you, he was still angry but after a few hours of forced sleep he realised you were right and was beyond grateful. In the light of day, it was announced Voldemort had been defeated by none other than your godson, some death eaters didn’t stop though Bellatrix, Barty Crouch Jr and the Lastrange brothers kidnapped Frank and Alice. Luckily you, Sirius and Mary managed to get there and save them since the hideout was detailed in on of Peters letters, the couple were beaten up, tortured but they would be okay in the long run. 

Dumbledore came to you and Sirius after having Harry in his care for the last 24 hours, with Peter officially on their most wanted list, you and he were granted custody if you wanted it, if not he would give the boy to Lily’s sister. You had met the women once when you had helped Lily move her childhood stuff to her new house, she was cold and hated wizards with a passion that rivalled Snape’s for James, therefore, despite your fears and you both agreed, it’s what they would have wanted.

There was a learning curve to being a mum and dad neither you are Sirius knew about, in fact you both just sat staring at Harry as he played on the opposite couch

“This seems rather simple right?” Sirius asks looking a bit nervous

You bob your head “He seems to be enjoying himself” despite your agreement you felt sick, what if you were a bad mother, there was no way you could live up to Lily and it felt wrong to even call yourself the ‘m’ word when that belonged to your late friend

“Should we feed him soon? There’s a bunch of those little jars they used to feed him with” Sirius says and your hearts ache, neither of you had said their names, knowing that saying them out loud would be admitting they were truly gone and you were ready for that

“Good idea…” you trail off seeing Harry scrunching up his face like he was concentrating…oh he was pooping, wasn’t he? “Oh merlin” you say to yourself

“I’ll get the food ready shall I?” Sirius escapes before you can stop him

“Siri” you plead but he offered no response

Sighing you stand and walk over to Harry who does have the most adorable pout on his face “Hi kid” you greet “Shit yourself?” you joke before your eyes widen “Don’t say shit” you point at him to which he just looks at you strangely 

You let out a nervous chuckle awkwardly lifting him into your arms and making the mistake of holding him by the butt, feeling the squish

“Aww fuck…don’t say fuck either” you warn him earning again another weird look 

Carrying him through to his bedroom, well your guest room which had a half-built crib you gave up on erecting, a changing table and some cans of yellow paint, you place him down on the table 

You began to change his diaper, well attempt with the best can do attitude

“Oh good heavens Harry” you half gagged at the smell, looking down at the nappy “What in merlin did you eat?” you ask him like he could answer you

You didn’t really know how to talk to kids, you weren’t the baby talk kind of person, you talked to him normally, it was weird but later you would learn that Harry loved that about you

“Right so we will take this” you take off the diaper holding it far away from your face as you fold it up and put it in the little bin “Okay now to clean you up” you pull out some baby wipes and clean him up “See fresh as a daisy” you smile “Well…until the next time anyway” you add and he tilts his head at you 

You hadn’t noticed Sirius was now leaning on the doorframe watching you with a curious smile

“Okay now” you stare at the new diaper “Do you know if it has a specific way around?” you ask him leaving some space for him to answer which is filled by a little babble “Your right I should check the box” you take it reading it for instructions placing it on the table as you try to follow them

Sirius tilts his head as he hears you swear to yourself, asking Harry if he would be willing to be dangled over the toilet so you didn’t have to do this again. He had never imagined either of you as parents, you as a mother but watching you it light something in him he didn’t know was there. He was nervous sure, his insecurities weren’t going away any time soon but he knew it was going to be alright, you would get there together

“Done…I think” you say picking up and shaking him up and down softly “Look at that” you smile proudly as you look over and finally spot Sirius

He has a look in his eyes you can’t quite read but you like it that was until he started chuckling

“What?” you pout at him

He nods to Harry and you look sighing as the diaper as slipped off “Oh for Godric’s sake” you say before eyeing Harry “Siri why does he look confused? He…” you begin but are cut off as he starts peeing and you just nod as it covers your front, accepting it while Sirius is fully in laughter 

Eventually you did learn and become an expert at changing diapers, Sirius was better at it though and offered most times to change harry when He cried during the night. You both were exhausted but got into a routine, they two of you were stay at home parents thanks to Sirius’ uncle’s money you wanted for nothing…well actually wanted sleep maybe a long lie in past four in the morning

One day Sirius had taken Harry out to visit Remus, leaving you in the house yourself. You would have gone but after some dire cramps in the morning Sirius insisted you stay and rest, of course the silence was nice for all of one hour before the novelty ran off

“Has that window always been brown…I could have sworn it was white” you say to yourself as you sat on the couch with your little water bottle, some muggle show about antiques playing in the background “Maybe we should paint it white” you muse

After spending around 30 minutes deciding whether or not to actually do it you figure that’s probably not the best job to start yourself and instead go get started on dinner. You took out one of the little recipes from Lily’s old book, your fingers tracing over the writing before you placed it down and got out what was needed for her soup.

“Seems about right?” you mutter to yourself as you measure the last of the ingredients before giving the stock a good stir

Cutting up the veggies you put them in a little bowl until the base had boiled, dancing around the kitchen to the radio as you went but it wasn’t the same as it was before. The house still felt quiet, you missed them, both of them. In the last few months you grew used to Harrys presence but you didn’t feel connected with him, not like Sirius did anyway. He could make Harry laugh, rock him to sleep, do everything a dad should be able to do yet you felt like you were holding an alien sometimes. He wouldn’t laugh just watch you…to be honest you wouldn’t be surprised if he thought you were the alien

Sirius had Harry on his hip as he came in the door “You get any bigger Harry I’m going to need to visit the gym” he says to himself as he puts the chain on

Walking deeper into the flat he was going to call out when he heard you singing along to dancing queen on the radio

“Young and sweet only seventeen”

He smiled turning to Harry “She’s still as pretty as she was at seventeen, more so actually” he tells Harry who tilts his head and smiles

Sirius walks to the door of the kitchen to watch you dancing about

“Watch that scene”

“Gladly darlin” he says to himself eliciting the smallest of giggles from Harry who also watches you intently

“You're a teaser, you turn 'em on”

You sing as you pick up the bowl of veggies and begin pouring them in

“Leave 'em burning … oh fuck don’t burn me merlin” your whole-body jerks back as you continue to drop them in, cowering behind the bowl to avoid the boiling liquid splashing 

Sirius bites his lip “That’s my dancing queen” he lets out a chuckles

Harrys birthday rolled around soon enough and you, Sirius and Remus took him on a trip down diagon alley, which was easier said than done as he had become rather adapt at walking and mini sprints away

“Would it be inappropriate to get him a lead?” Sirius asks as he watches you run after him this time

Remus lets out a huff of a chuckle “Ironic considering James suggested that to you once” he says with an amused smile seeing you have caught up and are carrying him 

Sirius lets out a small laugh but his heart aches at the mention os his name. It warmed and destoryed him that Harry was the spitting image and those big green eyes reminded him so much of one of the best women he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing

“You know…Kid!” you say as the boy scrambles in your grasp trying to hug you like a kola “You know maybe he needs a lead or something…I swear he’s like a little rocket” you shake your head, voice shaky as you let Harry wrap his arms around your front like he was a backpack

Sirius smiles at you while Remus shakes his head 

“I swear you two are turning into each other” Remus notes 

You give your husband a funny look while he just winks at you “So where do you want to go first?” 

“There’s a gallery down the way, with an ice cream shop across from it so i was thinking...” 

Harrys head lifts from the crook of your neck “Ice-cream, ice-cream, ice-cream!” he exclaims giddily cutting you off 

He didn’t have the biggest vocabulary but he could say some words perfectly and those included ice-cream, Siri, y/n, Remmy, doggie and chocolate, yes Remus was certainly to blame for the last one but the extra treats did give harry the cutest chubby cheeks so you forgave him

“Looks like he’s made up his mind” Sirius chuckles, giving Harrys hair a little ruffle and a kiss to the cheek while your give him a little pout “What?”

You turn up your nose “Nothing I just see how it is” you try to keep a straight face but he can see the tiny smile

“Oh darling do you want some sugar?” he says coyly in a tone that Harry finds funny

Remus rolls his eyes, taking Harry from your grasp but you are too distracted with Sirius to see his saddened pout and attempt at grabby hands 

“I’m going to head to get us some sweets” Remus announces walking away with Harry who cuddles into Remus but leans his head on his shoulder and watches you and Sirius forlornly

Sirius places his hands on your hips “Sorry darling” he apologises

You keep up the charade “That’s not going to cut it” you cross your arms yet you can feel yourself melting into his touch and oh does he know it

He kisses your cheek and you give him a little dissatisfied hum in response, he then kisses your other cheek and you repeat the noise but need to press your lips together to prevent the smile trying to take over your face. He kisses your nose and then rubs his with yours cauing the smile to slip out but you recover

“Nope” you pop the ‘p’

He chuckles pecking your lips before it comes to him “I have something” he poses

“What?” you eye him

He leans in to whisper in your ear, breath trailing down your neck “Dishes for a week” he proposes

You finally let yourself smile “You got yourself a deal” you look at him triumphantly before kissing his cheek and walking off after Remus

Sirius stands there for a moment then jogs to catch up with you “You did that on purpose didn’t you?” he says taking your hand in his

You smirk at him “Oh yeah” you nod, pleased with yourself “Also” you stop just before entering the shop “Remus is staying this weekend and the Longbottom’s are coming for a playdate…” you push open the door looking back “and will be staying for dinner too” you throw him a wink as you enter

Sirius looks at you in faux annoyance but he couldn’t stay annoyed for long as he enters the shop, seeing Harry waddle over and show you with a cone that’s basically the size of him. 

He felt so happy at the scene but he felt guilty at times like this. He loved the chaotic little family you and he had been given but it was bittersweet knowing it should have been Lily and James. He didn’t know being a father figure would be so rewarding, nor did he think you and he would do as good a job…well he didn’t think he would do a good job because he could see how Harry lit up around you, the way Harry gravitated towards you more, something he was more than happy with as he could see sometimes you still had fears

You dropped your keys into the little dish as you entered the apartment, hearing Harrys distant giggles. You smiled to yourself closing your eyes briefly as your heart warmed at the sound. Walking deeper into the flat you entered the living room expecting your husband to be watching cartoons or something but instead you were greeted with your husband in his Padfoot form with Harry clutching onto the fur of his back as they trotted around the room

You didn’t know whether to be angry or laugh, you would be a liar if you and Sirius hadn’t joked about doing that to Lily and James but now you were in the parent seat and suddenly you could see the corners of the tables and every little thing that could go wrong…was this mum mode?

You could tell by Sirius’ grey eyes peering at you he had been caught, clearly not expecting you back so soon as he stops in his tracks

“Y-Y/n!! Look at me” Harry says cutely as he spots you, looking happier than the sun 

Your heart is a puddle on the floor around you though “I see you” you say with a smile you can’t peel off your face but your tone is a little wary 

“M-” Harry starts trying to wave but ends up falling off of Sirius, it’s a small fall but to you it was like he fell off a building

“Kid!” you stumble over, knees hitting the floor as you look at him in panic

The boy looks up at you just as you feel Sirius shift bac, both of you wincing as you wait for the tears but instead your met with little claps and giggling

“Again, again!” Harry says happily

You and Sirius sigh in relief “See he’s fine” Sirius ways a little out of puff

Nudging him with your elbow you scold him “Fine this time but what were you thinking” 

You turn back to Harry scooping the boy into your arms and holding him to your chest, something the boy doesn’t protest in the slightest while Sirius just looks at you a little nervous at your tone but his heart fluttering at how mum-sey you are being 

“He is 3 Siri, what if he hit his perfect little head, or what if he hurt your back and you couldn’t shift…he’s too young for this kind of thing” you say firmly with a pout as you cuddle Harry hand going to the back of his head

Sirius licks his lips and let takes a deep breath “Sorry darling” he caresses your cheek with his thumb, wiping it over the skin gently “He was upset we saw a dog in the park and didn’t have one, I just wanted to cheer him up” he explains but even though your face softens you give him a look “It won’t happen again” that you’ll know of

“It better not eh Kid” you pull Harry back to look at him “Because there will be no Siri and Y/n alone time for a month if it does” you smile scrunching up your nose at the boy making him smile and nod

Sirius gives you a tight-lipped smile “Rather harsh” he mopes lightly

You give harry a cheeky look before sticking your tongue out at Sirius, not seeing Harry copying your movements

People noticed you and Sirius never used the words mummy or daddy in front of Harry, which meant the boy never used them because he simply never heard them used to describe you both. Even 3 years after their death you never used the terms, parents? Sure. Guardians? Definitely. But mum and dad? Never

“Sirius” Remus asks as he digs into his lunch, watching you eating with Harry on the couch as he watches some cartoons, although according to Sirius you enjoyed them more than the boy did

“Yeah” Sirius replies swiping his lip with his thumb then sucking off the sauce

“Why do you not use mum and dad to Harry” he says turning his gaze to his friend “I’ve been wondering for years” 

Sirius’ eyes flick between a blissful you and Harry to Remus, finally settling on the latter “To start it felt wrong considering the circumstances, but now?…I want to call her it...” he confesses “...just not sure if she’s ready for it”

Remus nods but there’s a surprise in his face “She’s an amazing mother” he compliments 

Sirius smiles “She is” he agrees wholeheartily before speaking lower “Remus we never told you this…I never told you this”

“What?” Remus tilts his head

He takes a breath “You remember how you all used to joke about a mini pads or y/n” Remus nods “Well we never wanted that, we never wanted children”

Remus’ eyes widen a little “I get that” he says truly “Get that more than most but…you seem happy raising him now, you both do” his eyes flick to you as he says the last part

Sirius places his hand over Remus’ giving it a squeeze before retracting it again “I am, I like...I like being a dad” Remus smiles “And I think she likes being a mum, I just…I think she’s still scared she isn’t doing a good job”

“Seriously?”

“Siriusly” they chuckle lightly before Sirius looks at you sadly “I found her crying a few nights ago while Harry slept”

“A few nights ago was…”

“Red’s birthday” his eyes go glassy with forming tears “She was apologising to him, wishing she could be the mother he deserved, scared that she’s doing it all wrong”

Remus’ eyebrows knit together, heart aching as he watches you put Harrys plate down and let him sit on your lap as you continue watching 

“She hides it well” Sirius says drawing the man’s eyes back to him “I really hope she sees what we see one day”

That day didn’t come for another year and over that year leading up to it your little family only got closer. You took Harry on plently of days out, both wizard and muggle activities just like James and Lily would have wanted, he was allowed to play with Sirius as Padfoot, even walking him along with you in the park, something you teased Sirius about rotten. 

Something you didn’t know was that Sirius had slipped saying the ‘m’ word when describing you to Harry on occasion, the first time he didn’t mean it but over time he grew to adore that word for you and hoped you would too

“You okay?” you ask coming up behind Sirius on the bed, arms slithering under his arms as you plant a kiss to his bare shoulder

He hums as you begin to put his hair in a braid for bed “Harrys down but it’s the thunder, I can already hear it…times like this I hate Padfoot” he shuffles uneasily as he hears another rumble

You lift the completed braid and kiss below his ear “Don’t worry I’ll happily be big spoon tonight for my brave…” you kiss him again further down his neck “…little…” you kiss his jaw as he turns his head “…puppy” you peck his lips

He smiles at you “Merlin I love you” he twists his body around to hug you properly

“Love you too pup” 

You and Sirius settle into bed, his head on your chest, arms wrapped around you with his legs entangled with your own while your arms hold him protectively, soothing his hair with your fingers as he shivers with each grumble.

You both were about to fall asleep when you heard the door creak open, your head turned and Sirius shifted his around still on your chest but he could now see the door. Your hearts aching as you see a sniffling Harry clutching his little deer teddy to his chest

“What’s wrong kid you have a nightmare” you ask softly, you hated seeing him upset it broke your own heart

He shakes his head “The noises…are…are scary” he pouts wiping his nose with his shirt “Can I sleep with you” he asks and how could neither of you could ever say no too

“Of course” you tell him gesturing for him to join while Sirius shifts off of you and opens up the covers

He practically jumps into the bed looking happier than before, kneeling beside you with Sirius on the other side and you shift so he can snuggle into your husband 

“Who do you want to cuddle with?” Sirius asks with a knowing smile

Harry doesn’t answer just falls into you, clutching your pyjama shirt with one hand and his teddy with the other, while you freeze looking at Sirius who just kisses your cheek like he expected it. Your eyes returned to the boy and you smile as you wrap one arm around him, heart-warming as he nuzzles into you.

“Come here pup” you say quietly to Sirius and let him cuddle into your other side, giving both of their head’s kisses, your boys

“Night Siri, night kid” 

“Night darlin” Sirius leans up and gives you a quick peck “Night Harry” he brushes the boys hair gently making him smile

“Night” Harry says to Sirius before propping his head up to look at you “Night mummy” he says with the cutest tone then cuddles into you, quickly falling asleep

Your mouth was agape, tears forming as you looked at Sirius ‘did he?’ you mouth

Sirius nods shifting upwards in the bed to whisper in your ear “You’re a good mum y/n” he kisses your cheek “And it’s okay for us to be his mum and dad” he affirms

You let a small tear fall as you hug Harry tightly “But…” 

He wipes the tear “It’s okay, I like…I love being his dad, and I know James and Lily would be happy knowing that” he says softly, finally saying their names and it feels like a weight is lifted, a weight that had been holding you both down since that awful night

You look at Harry then your husband “I love being his mum too” you confess, a smile breaking across your face as you say it, eyes closing

“You want to use the names from now on?” he asks quietly, Harrys light snores in the background

“I’d like that” you nod

Thank you for reading 💛

[coldtwaer]

Ghost hunting with the goofs

(Contains safe protection vore)

“I can’t believe you talked me into doing this…” Rivan sighed as he looked at the old mansion he and his friend were in front of. The place did not look inviting with the faded paint and the creaking sound from the wind blowing on it.

“Yo, this place looks spooky cool. There are definitely some ghosts here.” Leoi’s eyes sparkled with excitement. The shorter man started to go ahead but Rivan quickly grabbed him and placed a mask in his hand.

“Put your respirator on before you become a ghost” Rivan sometimes wondered how Leoi had made it this long in life with his level of intelligence.

“Oh yeah thanks man”

Once the two were situated, they walked up to the door. “Okay, you got the camcorder?” The energetic man looked like he was ready to explode right where he was if they didn’t get inside ASAP.

“Yeah, I mean, I still don’t get why I couldn’t just use my phone. You would get a much better-looking video” Rivan showed the camcorder in his hand.

“Authenticity!” Leoi punched the air for each syllable. “Also it’s a special night vision one. Now come on and start recording!”

Rivan was going to say something else but Leoi was already through the door and into the darkness of the uninviting manor. With a small groan, he turned on his flashlight and the camcorder before he followed his friend inside.

The interior didn’t look much better than the exterior. The wallpaper was barely hanging onto the walls. Even with the mask, there was a strong and foul odor. If it weren’t for the night vision goggles the two wouldn’t have been able to see past the light of their flashlights.

“Okay, it’s time to do some ghost hunting!” Leoi took out what he had described to Rivan as an ‘EMF Meter aka the ghost-finding device`.

Rivan didn’t want to admit it but he was a bit paranoid when it came to things like this. But it was too late to back out now so he just focused on staying close to Leoi. “So how long will this take?” He asked.

”Well it kinda depends. The conditions to find them are sort of specific, you need to find the strongest spot where the two worlds overlap and…” Leoi was talking but Rivan tuned him out after the five-minute mark of this explanation.

It was a good thing too since that meant he was able to hear something snap from the ceiling with his sharp senses. “Watch out!” Rivan swiftly grabbed Leoi and stepped back before a glass light fell onto the ground and shattered.

”Woah that was close, thanks, dude.”

“I think we should leave, this place clearly isn’t safe”

”Ooo but what if that was a ghost?”

“Or because of the fact that this place is older than my grandparents.”

“You’re no fun. But we can’t stop when we just got started” Leoi stated before going around the shattered glass and pressing on. His eyes looked at the meter in his hand with intent. Rivan knew he wouldn’t be able to speak any sense into him right now.

——

After nearly half an hour of going around the mansion with Leoi and somehow managing not to freak out every time a shadow looked a little too human, Rivan was stopped by Leoi. “What is it?” Rivan asked.

”Look” Leoi showed the meter which was beeping. “We’ve found a spot!” The man was smiling.

”Finally…” Rivan gave a sigh of relief. Anything to get out of here soon. Leoi had already started dashing around to try and find any signs of paranormal activity but so far there was nothing. However, the floorboards sounded a bit unstable.

“Dude you should slow down…” Rivan warned but his warning was too late as a floorboard gave out beneath Leoi’s foot as he stepped on it.

Rivan quickly (and carefully) went over to help pull the smaller man out of his predicament. Once he did he gently placed Leoi down but Leoi immediately winced.

“Ow my foot….”

“That’s it, we’re leaving right now.” Rivan let Leoi use him as a crutch as they were about to go to the exit.

However, as if the situation wasn’t bad enough, lights that had definitely not been visible before started flickering and the wind blew like a mild hurricane.

“Wait! This has to be ghosts!” Leoi tried to limp away to go find the source but Rivan did not let that happen.

“Let’s g-“ a window shattered and glass shards were carried by the wind. While ducking down, Rivan decided that there was only one way to get out quickly and keep Leoi safe at the same time. He grabbed Leoi and opened his mouth wide.

Leoi gave a look of surprise before realizing what Rivan was going to do. He closed his eyes so that no saliva would get in before his head went in.

Rivan had to be quick which wasn’t a problem because he was very used to doing this. All it took was a few skilled gulps before Leoi was safely tucked away into his stomach. Rivan took a few breaths before standing up and getting the hell out of that place.

——

Once he was outside he focused on helping his friend. Using his ability, he adjusted the acids in his stomach to start healing Leoi’s injury. “You idiot…” Rivan sighed as he placed a hand on his rounded stomach.

“Sorry…hey did you record all that spooky stuff?” Leoi asked, his voice was muffled but the words were still recognizable.

“….No, I was busy saving you.”

“Oh right, sorry about that but also I CAN’T BELIEVE WE DIDN'T GET A RECORDING OF THAT PARANORMAL EVIDENCE”

Rivan heard his stomach gurgle and growl as Leoi adjusted himself inside. Despite his best efforts, Rivan couldn’t help but roll his eyes and sigh at Leoi’s words. This man was going to drive him to insanity at some point, but, at least he’d be safe. He went to the car and sat in the driver’s seat before he closed his eyes and felt Leoi’s steady heartbeat.

“Well I guess you’re never going on another trip with me” Leoi nervously chuckled.

Rivan smiled and pressed into his stomach to mess with Leoi. “On the contrary, I’m going on every trip I can. You cannot be trusted”

[vhygoxo]

Pale Moonlight

After your grandfather Atera passes you decide to move in with your grandmother. Since this is your gap year after graduating, you get to decide what you want next, assuming this is a great opportunity. Moving to one of your home reserves you're ready to start your new life. When you finally come back after being distanced for so long secrets and mysteries of the reserve start to unravel.

Paul Lahote x Reader

Chapter 6: Discovery

Finally back with a new chapter! Which is probably surprising lol since I took a long break. But I do have more chapters in store. I want this story to be focused on not only being Paul's imprint, but also into the life of the reserve, the characters stories. But other than that enjoy! I know we're in a drought for Paul lahote content. I’ll also be uploading imagines and other Wolfpack content in the future 🫶

Chapters

1. Homecoming

2. Emissary’s

3. Connection

4. Prey

5. Awakening

6. Discovery

As the next morning came I tried to stay in my bed for as long as I could. My eyes eventually fluttered open, my bones felt weary, throat dry and parched.

I wasn’t so sure I wanted to get out of my bed. Not after everything I experienced yesterday. Thinking of all I have to face it made me stuck to my bed.

It’s still hard for me to digest everything. How am I supposed to live knowing what’s truly out there? What type of life awaits me for me?

Vampires are real and one had attacked me. Until Paul Lahote, a man I barely know, was the one to rescue me. All in the form of this huge vicious grey wolf.

Learning about Paul’s true nature, including the others, about how they’re all ‘shifters’. It all made me feel crazy. I wasn’t sure how to react to their explanation. What made me feel crazy was that I somehow understood everything.

Living with my grandparents in the summer and visits in between I learned a lot. Many stories live in my head because of me simply listening to my grandfather.

He wasn’t the type to sit us kids down. Just a few times in the winter for story time if we were lucky. Other than that you’d have to catch him at the right moment.

He’d tell them randomly, while we drank tea, or went for a car drive, even just sitting quiet at home. It all depended on what mood my grandfather was in.

I always believed him even when his stories seemed ridiculous. Our people, indigenous people as a whole, we have certain ways.

Somethings that are even mysterious to us. Stories of folk tales and local creatures were common to hear and know about.

It’s a totally different experiencing said stories in real life. It was easier to think of them as just stories. But now I know that there is truth to such stories. It all made life feel surreal for me.

Eventually I crawled out of bed once the questions in my head started to eat me up. I needed answers, explanations, anything to help me understand. I knew there was only one person that could help me.

My grandmother was up and waiting for me downstairs. I could sense her as I got my self ready. The air was filled with tension and uneasiness.

“My girl” She exclaimed as I came down the stairs. I gave a weak smile before we headed to the couch. Sitting down beside her she squeezed my hand comforting me.

“How did you rest? Are you feeling okay?” My grandmother fussed over me as she brushed the hair away from my face. I smiled and cupped her hand softly.

“I rested well enough. How are you holding up?”

“Oh my girl… I couldn’t help but worry over you. I know you must be going through a lot right now… Thinking a lot… Here have something to eat first. Get your strength back”

With the food ready she and I ate our breakfast. I somehow felt at peace once we began to eat in silence. For this brief moment it felt as if nothing had changed. All I focused on was my grandmother and this moment. Bracing myself for what I know I have to face eventually.

Once we had finished and cleaned up we sat back onto the couch. My grandmother had stepped into her room. Before she came back out carrying a small cedar box.

“What is that?” I asked once she sat down with me. She smiled at me softly before she opened the box. It had initials and some florals carved into the box. Once opened there were small carved trinkets and pictures.

“Your grandfather made me this box. Originally it was meant for jewellery. When he’d go hunting he’d carve me pieces of jewellery made from antlers and bone. Necklaces, rings, earrings, all hand made by him. Little tokens of love and affection. He carved this box for me to keep everything in it. Over the years I kept our memories together in this box”

She skimmed through her stacks of pictures. Old pictures of her and my grandfather as a young couple. Their friends and events they attended. She pulled out a set of pictures for me to look at.

“This was around the time your grandfather shifted. He had just turned 17 before a stray vampire began to lurk around the reserve. It made him and his fellow pack members shift. All of them were only 16-18 at the time”

“Pack members?”

“…What exactly did Sam and his friends tell you?”

She paused to look at me after questioning me. I stopped looking at the pictures to focus. Trying to remember what I was told.

“Well… I know everyone besides Kim and Emily is a wolf. I—I mean shifter, that they take on their spiritual forms, which is the shape of the wolf… right?”

“Yes they’re called shifters. For you to understand I need to explain some things”

My grandmother looked at me eager to know my decision. I could see she was nervous as I was. But I trusted her to know that she’ll be honest and explain everything I don’t understand. I nodded my head in agreement before she started.

“Long ago Taha Aki and our ancestors were blessed with their nature from our relatives the wolves. Fierce spiritual warriors stronger than any force. As a means to protect and guide our tribe. Only certain men in the tribe are blessed with this gift. It’s a lifestyle few can walk”

She handed me a picture of a huge dark grey wolf. Almost as if his fur was black on the top. Looking at the handwriting on the photo inscribed was my grandfathers name.

“They had dealt with the colonizers easily enough. It’s why despite our small tribe we always kept our territory despite many enemy attempts to take it. When our people first came across the cold blooded vampires it changed everything. We had never come across such a threat. Whole villages would be slaughtered in a matter of a few hours at the hands of a few vampires. They looked human but quickly our shifters knew they were unnatural”

I felt my own blood run cold. Terrified at the thought of vampires. My throat felt as if it was slowly closing as I remembered Victoria. How fast she was and how close I was to death.

“When the first shifters killed them they ripped them to pieces. Our warriors decided to collect all the pieces to place together. To inspect and see the vampire up close. Everyone in the village had gathered to come take a look at the beast. It laid there stiff, it’s insides grey and solid, the skin reflected like gemstones. Everyone was amazed our warriors killed such a powerful creature. All until the limbs started to move, quickly the body squirmed to join back together, some pieces did and tried to fight back once more. Pale and cold because they’re undead, immortal, their bodies are made of stone”

I gasped shocked at what I was hearing. It made me think of how Victoria’s skin felt. Like cold sandpaper but solid and hard. There was no softness in her icy grip. Even when Paul bit down onto Victoria I could hear crumbling and cracking. I almost thought she was a porcelain doll with how awful the cracking sounded.

“Quickly the body was tossed and burnt in the fire. All until nothing but ash was left. Burning them is the only way to truly kill a vampire. Our shifters are the only force powerful enough to defeat them. This has been their duty for centuries. Our true protectors and guides of the Quileute tribe”

I sat quiet dumbfounded at what was being told to me. My grandmother just patiently waited and observed my reaction. My mouth was agape from shock and surprise. I wasn’t quite sure what to say but I knew I had questions

“Wow… I… I somehow understand… But I still have a few questions if that’s alright”

“I understand my girl. But you need to know what a heavy responsibility it is to be a shifter. It takes great discipline and dedication. It’s a delicate balance between spiritual and physical nature. If you aren’t balanced it can be volatile. It can be a difficult process harnessing their true nature. There are some aspects you can’t control”

“…Such as imprinting right?” I asked which made her whip her head at me taken aback. Even I sat up straight nervous. I could tell it caught her off guard as she coughed.

“Grandma … I don’t fully know what an imprint is. I didn’t get to fully ask either because I was too shocked and upset. I understand somewhat about how shifting works… All I know is this imprinting with Paul involves me. That’s what they told me from what I remember. I… I just don’t know how I fit into all this. I’m not a shifter or anything magical as far as I know. Or am I? Is this what you're struggling to tell me?”

“No no you’re not a shifter my girl” She said slightly giggling at me. At this point I had too many questions. But I really wanted to know what an imprint is. Since I know this connects me to Paul somehow. What role do I play in all of this? Grandma sighed before she recollected herself.

“Well… Even for me it’s difficult to explain. An imprint connection really depends on the people in the connection. You see when the colonizers came, they took almost everything from us, you know? Genocide, Residential schools, day school, all of it took a toll on our people. It was a struggle to even carry our traditions so most of our teachings about shifters, their nature, what we knew was lost. It’s been about 3 generations since your grandfathers time and since we last had shifters amongst us”

She explained as I sighed defeated. Slowly sinking into my seat. My grandmother rubbed my back in comfort. Before she started to explain once more.

“Over the years we’ve gathered what info we do know about shifters. Some of the teachings have been coming back. All we understand is it’s a lifelong bond. That only happens once a lifetime between a shifter and their imprint. It’s a strong spiritual bond that links two for life. Some even believe it lasts beyond life”

I sat silent for a moment to think. It made me rethink of Paul’s words before I left. His brief explanation to me of what an imprint is.

I remember the look on his face, a frown filled his face with eyes that were sad, one of the reasons I wanted to leave so quickly. I caused a lot of trouble for not only him but for everyone.

“... Y’know…That’s all Paul really said to me before I left… Now that I think about it. I didn’t really understand what he meant at the time. But he said that we— that I can choose what we mean? I’m guessing he meant this imprint connection”

She had grabbed my hand and held it close to her. I sat worried until she gave me a warm smile. There was a short pause before she sighed

“My girl… As much as I want to sit here and explain everything to you. I think it’s best you just talk to Paul”

I felt uncomfortable as soon as she suggested such. I didn’t quite know how to face Paul. I had hardly knew him before all of this. Now I’m suddenly inter-soul-twined with him? It didn’t help he was quite upset about all of this.

“Grandma—“

“Remember I’m an imprint myself. When your grandfather imprinted on me he made sure I understood right away. He just wouldn’t have it either way”

“You were also the one to say you and grandpa got married quickly. Is it because he imprinted on you that you guys got hitched?”

Her face had flushed red it was the first time I’ve ever seen her get flustered. I felt I should’ve bitten my tongue to stop myself. But it was too late the words were spoken.

“Y\n”

“I’m sorry! But I’m just worried. I still don’t fully understand what any of this imprint business has to do with me and Paul. Does this mean I have to get hitched with Paul right away? Like you and grandpa? Except I have to with some stranger I don’t know?—“

“—This is why I’m suggesting you talk to Paul. Imprint connections vary for me and your grandfather it was different. Yes we got married but it was because we loved and eventually understood one another. Not just because of this imprint connection. Y’know we have other imprints on the rez here. They’re great examples of how different imprints can be”

I only knew Sam and Emily were imprints so far. But them too are basically married, already engaged, despite being in their early 20’s. All I knew from Kim was they’ve been together for awhile. Leah didn’t really like Sam from what I understood.

“Like Sam and Emily? But they’re engaged as well”

“Yes but there are others. Quill has his own imprint also you know”

Hearing the words come out of my grandmothers mouth shocked me. This whole time I’ve been home Quill hadn’t bothered to bring up his imprint? Much less let me meet her?

“What? Quill?”

“Yes Quill has his own imprint. I bring it up because his relationship to her is different from that of Sam and Emily, and also me and your grandfathers. Claire young is her name, and she’s only 4, she’s the niece of your friend Emily” Hearing so surprised me and I could feel it express on my face. My grandmother scolded me as I felt myself cringe. I couldn’t help it since it shocked me to know this about Quill.

“They aren’t together y\n but they are imprints. Quill has since taken her in almost as his own daughter. With the approval of her parents of course. They know about all of this also. It was understood that the two needed to be together and Quill decided he would become whatever Claire needed. He’ll become a friend, a brother, a father, whatever Claire needs. For now he serves her as a older brother\father figure”

“… And you said before this is something sacred right?”

“Yes my girl and no one gets to choose their imprint. In the old days we understood imprinting and it’s nature to be more connected to the wolves. Rather than our human nature. It’s why our people never fully questioned it. Wolves bond for life it’s just in their nature. When our ancestors were blessed with the gift of shifting we understood imprinting was one of the gifts that came with it. Instead of questioning we adapted, it’s why it’s important for the imprints, to define the connection between them. Otherwise your connection can falter and be fatal”

“Wait—fatal?” Before she could answer me someone had knocked on the door just then. Interrupting and startling the two of us. Both of us were heavily into our conversation we hardly realized someone was here.

I got up and walked to the door quickly. Opening the door there stood Quill. A solemn look to his face. I was surprised to see him standing here. Usually he texts or calls me to make sure I’m home.

“Hey Y\N”

“Hey…”

“Is that Quill?” Our grandmother asked me, I stood aside to let him in, stepping in he greeted her. She rose from where she sat and came over to us. I wasn’t quite sure how to react to Quill’s sudden appearance.

“I’m glad you stopped by so soon Quill to check on y/n. Me and y\n were just finished visiting. I’m sure you and her have a lot to talk about. So I’ll leave you two as I’ll be heading over to Sue Clearwater’s… I need to thank her for helping you last night”

“Oh— Grandma I’ll come with you I want to thank her too” I said trying to grab my shoes to leave. She shook her head and held my hands. Stopping me from grabbing them.

“My girl it’s okay you stay here and visit with Quill. Let your cousin explain what I can’t. You need all the help you can get”

She assured me, eventually she made her exit, leaving me and Quill alone. Honestly I felt as if my grandma was glad for Quill to step in somehow. After settling in our spots at the porch table outside Quill began to speak.

“Well jeez… I don’t really know where to start… First of all how are you?”

“Me?…I’m not even sure… I feel I’m stuck in shock if we're being honest” This comment earned me a smile from Quill. Who was busy examining my neck and throat area carefully. I opened up my shirt collar to fully show him. I was still feeling tender and sore but there wasn't much redness anymore.

“Sorry I just have to see… When I seen you not moving on Emily's bed I was panicked…I'm just really sorry this happened to you—”

“Quill look I know you're feeling a bit guilty about all of this but it isn't your fault. I’m not severely damaged or anything. I'm fine infact I'm grateful to be alive. How many people can say they were attacked by a vampire and lived?” I attempted to comfort Quill who I could tell was feeling bad. He sighed and shifted in his seat.

“I’m really glad to hear that. Yeah… You’re right I don’t see much scars that’ll be left on you… So that’s good. Honestly… But look y/n… I'm sure you have a lot of questions… Right? About all of this and how you fit into it. I'm here not only to check on you but also uhh… In better terms inform you. So any questions you wanted answered I can help you with”

“Really?”

“Yes really all of us know how it is when you first learn about all… of this. It's confusing and hard. Doesn't make it easier on you since you were attacked” I nodded silently in agreement. Feeling assured by having Quill here to support me. As I sat I thought of what questions I wanted to ask.

“I just wanted to be the first to tell you of how much support you can rely on. In truth I’m so glad you finally know about this. It was a struggle for me not to say anything to you. But I want you to know you can depend on me for anything”

“Really? You were going to tell me before I was attacked?”

“Yes of course and all of us here who know about it. We just wanted to ease you into this life but shit happened so fast. But good thing is you finally know. We all support each other here and now you’re one of us. You’ll learn who all knows eventually” Quill said earnestly which even I could feel he was being honest. It was a true comfort to hear that from him.

“Thanks Quill. I appreciate it truly, y’know at first of course this was all scary, but since I woke up I somehow feel better about all of this. The more I listen and understand anyway”

“Really? I’m glad to hear that. Of course I don’t want you to be shy to ask anything. But I don’t wanna push your limits and overwhelm you y’know? Do you think you can handle it all?” He sat awaiting for my answer. I nodded and took a deep breath in as an attempt to calm my nerves.

“So shoot your shot and I'll do my best to answer”

“Okay… Can we talk about when you first shifted?” Quill sat for a moment thinking back. He opened his mouth to speak but paused once more. I could tell he was nervous about all this also.

“Ok well… I shifted a bit after grandpa died, sometime after Jake and Embry, it was crazy y\n. I was younger back then. I thought I was going through some crazy growth spurt. I was constantly angry or on edge. It wasn’t until Sam approached me along with the boys. Once they told me about everything…I just… I just tried to survive. Y’know? Its been crazy to adjust to. But all in all it isn’t hard to maintain. It’s definitely a different lifestyle I thought I’d live”

“Yeah that I can understand. But can I ask what about your imprint? Grandma was telling me about some little girl named Claire? What’s that all about”

“You heard about Claire?” Quill asked as he started to sweat. I could tell he was becoming more nervous. I nodded yes and awaited for an answer.

“You understand how imprints work right? I—I’m sure grandma told you by now”

“She did and I somewhat understand. Not as fully as I’d like to since everyone keeps telling me I define it? I don’t know to be honest. I’m just curious on what you and Claire’s connection is like. If you don’t mind me asking”

“Well… All I can say that part is true, about defining it, me and Claire for example. I don’t know if you know but she’s only four. For her… She views me as an older brother. And that I will be since it’s what she decided. That’s something I’m fine with, with our bond it’s sacred, and I’m blessed to be chosen as her sworn protecter. And in a way she’s also my own protector” After hearing Quill’s words it made me feel reassured somehow. Realizing despite this divine connection both can still have a decision on the matter. Maybe Paul really was my own sworn protector. It could even be that I’m Paul’s protector. Who fully knows?

“… How do you feel about being Paul's imprint?” Quill asked me and I felt my stomach rise. Not that I was feeling scared but I felt more nervous than anything. I wasn’t even sure what to say to Quill. Although I liked and respected him I don’t know who he is fully.

“I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel. I hardly know Paul and suddenly we're… we're… I don't even know yet…” We sat in silence for a moment before Quill patted my back again. Although I was struggling it was a comfort to know I have Quill with me.

“There's a lot you still need to learn about. But you don't have to figure out all of it today. Just take your time we all figured you'll be resting for the next couple of days”

“By we do you mean Paul, Sam, and the others?”

“Yeah… We're all pretty close… Soon you will be too” Quill said assuring me. Talking with him was making me remember how I was back at Emily’s house. Since I was so stressed I reacted pretty harshly to them all. I felt betrayed somehow and scorned. After the smoke cleared I feel I shouldn’t have behaved that way. I wasn’t sure how to face any of them again.

Paul crossed my mind as well, I wished to know what he feels about all of this, how he views this connection. Remembering how he saved me from a worser fate. If we are truly bonded then how do we move forward?

“Quill… From what I remember you guys are mindlinked right? Or is it interlinked?” I asked him and he smiled. “You can call it a mind link yes” he sort of laughed before correcting me.

“Well.. either way… can I ask something?”

“Anything”

“Do you know how Paul feels about this?” This made Quill straighten his posture, feeling he was nervous again, he sat quiet for a moment. Almost as if he was deep in thought. I wondered how their mindlink was for them to experience.

“I know a little a bit about the mind link. You guys can understand each other in the pack… right? Or maybe you can explain it to me”

“Well… Yeah… it's hard to explain. I don't know what Paul thinks exactly including the others. But I can feel everyone’s emotion in the moment if that makes sense. If I tap in now I’ll know what he’s feeling but not what he’s thinking of or seeing specifically. An example is I can sense he’s angry but I won’t know what’s making him angry unless I ask. —Not saying he is angry right now! I’m just saying as an example. Just to be clear ok?"

“Oh? Oh okay…”

“The only one who can send ‘messages’ at any moment is the alpha. Our leader who is currently Sam. He can send and cross the boundaries in our mind at any given point. It’s like a huge group chat when we're wolves though. We can hear every thought from each other wether we like it or not. This is to help coordinate us but most of the time we’re all pissing each other off"

“Really?… That's actually really cool” I said smiling at him. Quill finally relaxed after explaining everything. Looking relieved and proud of how I was handling everything. Quill paused for a moment before scratching his head. Closing his eyes to breath in and out. He was deep in thought before he sat up to speak.

“From what I can pick up and understand is Paul feels… Worried”

“Worried? About what?” I asked and somehow this made Quill laugh. Confused I raised a brow at him. He shifted in his seat realizing his behavior.

“More like what aren’t we worried about. Look y/n we're dealing with the vampires, Victoria, the cullen family, Bella and Jacob their whole mess, shit just straight up surviving. Next is your sudden attack—”

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise. As if all the nerves in my body were being alerted. Looking around I didn’t realize Quill stopped mid sentence. He too could sense someone coming. Suddenly a truck revved in the approach.

It was a huge black truck, I hadn’t seen it before, even if I did I wouldn’t recognize who owned it. It wasn’t long before they parked. Out from the drivers door stood Paul his self.

Looking at my phone I realized I had missed a 2 texts from him. One asking if I was up, and another that he was on his way, I hadn’t checked my phone all morning. Paul looked so big, he was almost taller than his truck, seeing him come closer I felt my heart race. I didn't think he would show up so soon.

“Y/N”

“Paul”

I called out surprised as he walked up to the two of us. I couldn’t help but take note of his build and size. Quill got up and grabbed his hand, in turn Paul pulled him for a hug, they did briefly before they both patted each others back with strength.

“Well I appreciate it Quill. Truly. Don't be afraid to drop by more” I said as Quill came over to hug me next. He agreed before pulling away to make his exit. Suddenly my eyes met Paul's as he walked over to sit down in Quills spot.

“It was great seeing you y\n but I gotta go. I just wanted to stop in and check on you before this guy did. While I was on my break anyway” Quill said as Paul smiled at him.

“You were lucky to not be on morning shift you shitass” Paul replied. At this point I hardly seen him smile. It made him look more kind I noticed.

“Ill message you guys later” Quill said as he slightly smirked at me. I felt my face flush warm, across my nose and under my eyes, I didn't even want to face Paul in fear he'll see my face like this.

His eyes were dark and fierce. I wasn't scared but more nervous, I felt super aware of myself, and how I looked. I didn't expect to see him so soon. I wasn’t sure how to face him after everything.

We watched Quill run to the treeline. Quickly shifting into his wolf form. I gasped and paused to watch him. Amazed at such a sight although it was quick. Disappearing fast into the tree line.

“It's good to see you. How are you feeling?”

“Me?… I’ve been better… it’s good to see you too… What brings you by?” I asked finally sitting down back into my chair. Hoping I didn't come off as too nervous. He smirked and kept his stare into me.

“Well you of course. How did you sleep?” He asked looking at me more than curious. Saying such words as if it were matter of fact. Being around Paul in a setting like this, with his questions, it all made me blush.

“I uh… I slept okay after I had my meds… I didn't really get to thank you or any of you guys properly for the help you gave me” I said which made him shake his head no.

“There's no need for that. We're all just glad you're safe… And—” he had paused before closing his mouth. Looking like he was afraid to utter another word. I furrowed my brows waiting for him to finish.

“And?”

“… Unchanged… Look it's just… We were worried you might've…”

“Unchanged?… You mean turn into a Vampire? Like Victoria?”

I finished his words since he was apprehensive. Paul looked a bit shocked I said so before him. But he nodded and agreed with me. I felt my heart rate steadily rising. Thankful myself I wasn’t changed.

Paul's eyes trailed down to my neck. Except his stare was intense, eyes lingering, along the collar of my shirt. I felt I was under a microscope.

His eyes wondered everywhere for a moment. But somehow I didn’t mind. It reminded me of how Quill behaved just earlier. I looked at him as I spread the collar of my shirt slightly. I wasn’t sure why I was so willing to show him my wounds. Maybe because I knew he needed reassurance.

Finally I realized I was sitting with my neck and chest flushed open. Almost as if he noticed how it was making me feel he pulled back and adjusted his self. His stare softened as I fixed my shirt.

“Sorry… I just want to make sure you’re not too hurt…” he said explaining his self. Eyes peering downwards staring at his hands. I smiled at his somewhat meek behaviour.

“It's okay that's how Quill was too. But I'm fine now, really, there isn’t much wounds or scars thankfully. The meds help with what pain I have… And also…” I trailed on nervously. I wasn’t sure how to bring up the imprint situation with him. I wasn’t quite sure how sensitive this was to him.

But Paul held onto every word I was saying. He awaited for me to continue on. Looking at my lips while I talked.

“Uh… I had a talk with him and my grandmother. About everything so far…” I said as he leaned in closer. Raising his eyebrows I could tell he was earnest in what I had to say.

“It was… Hard when this first happened to me. But somehow I feel more at ease.. Especially with what I know now… I feel sorry for how I reacted last night… it wasn’t right of me”

Again Paul shook his head, this time he made sure to face me, I looked up back at him. My hearts pounding so loud now I wonder if he can hear it. I also wonder how sensitive their senses are since they’re wolves.

“Don't be sorry for anything. If anything it should be me apologizing. I really am sorry y\n. I wasn't fast enough to be there for you in time. I should’ve just came straight to your place instead of you walking to meet me. Hell I should’ve just picked you up as planned”

“Paul wait—”

“You were never supposed to be in involved in something like this. Ever. If I wasn’t so slow in meeting you this wouldn’t have happened at all—”

“Paul—”

“If I was even a second late to get to you—”

I felt my hand reach across to him. Instead of holding his hand I touched the arm of his chair. Like an instinct I felt I had to stop him from speaking anymore.

“But you weren’t a second late. You were able to save me before anything happened. There’s no use worrying over something that didn’t happen. I’m here alive and unchanged shouldn’t that matter?”

With how silent Paul became I wondered if I said something wrong. Or maybe he was the type of guy who didn’t like people interrupting him. Either way I felt as if I did something to him.

Paul looked surprised at my words as he looked at me. His gaze softened and he took a deep breath. I could see his huge shoulders relax as he nodded in agreement. His brows were still furrowed.

“No… You’re right… I am really glad you are here safe and sound… It does matter” A soft grin spread across his face. I wasn’t with him long but already I wondered why was I ever scared of a man like this. If he wanted to hurt me he would’ve just let Victoria have me. Why waste his time?

“So… You talked to Quill and your grandma? What did they have to say”

“Well… They tried helping me understand how shifting works and everything attached… including um…” I paused feeling my stomach doing flips trying to say imprinting. But with Paul here so close to me. Staring at me intently holding on to my every word. I felt so nervous to even bring it up.

It wasn’t just some connection, this is serious, imprinting is a literal soul connection. As much as I liked Paul I didn’t quite know him yet. And this is a serious soul tie that somehow links us. Paul laughed slightly as my face flushed red.

“You’re feeling better right? I know you’re still learning things. Especially about imprinting”he said not even shy to admit it. As if he was looking for a rise in me he paused. I scoffed at him which earned me another handsome smile from him.

“We don't have to figure out everything right now y\n. I know this is a lot for you so I don't want to push anything on to you”

“Actually I want to talk about this whole imprinting thing. If you're alright with that. The more that’s explained I feel better” I asked Paul to ensure he was ready. To which he nodded his head agreeing with me.

“That's fine. So, what do you want to know?” Paul asked me curious. I braced myself mentally for what I was about to bring up.

“It's just… I don't understand what makes our imprint connection” This had made him stunned from what I could tell. He leaned back in his chair thinking hard. Paul’s overall energy is intense, even though he’s nice, I can’t help but feel intimidated.

“Everyone else has their own… definition. Quill and Claire they're basically siblings… Emily and Sam are going to be married… What about us?” The more I spoke the more I felt my face flush warm. I felt as if I was poking a sleeping bear to wake. Or in this case a wolf. I didn't know Paul enough to know how'd he react.

“Well… I don't expect you to remember but back at Emily's. I had told you that we both decide what our connection is. This imprint bond connects us mind and body. But we have to define it. For now let's just decide to be friends” Paul said with a sincere smile. I felt myself relax at ease knowing his thoughts.

“Friends?” I questioned him also a bit surprised by his suggestion. Paul had sat up straight in his chair hearing me say this.

“Or I could just serve as your protector. Nothing more. Guard you and your home for the time being. You're probably feeling uneasy about Victoria and all the other leeches lurking around—”

“I wouldn't mind being friends with you Paul” I corrected him. Of course I wanted to be friends. I just didn't want to force anything onto him. Friends is a great start to try and navigate this connection.

His handsome face smiled at me once more. And I could feel my heart beat quicken whilst looking at him. It was crazy to think how this imprint bond strongly influenced me.

“Alright friends it is then. But I'll still be serving as your protector anyway”

“My protector huh? How generous”

“It really isn’t. It’s the least I can do after everything you went through. This is what my role is as your imprint” I could sense Paul was serious especially with his tone of voice. All I could do was nod my head in agreement. Soon Paul stood up from where he sat.

“You’re feeling better right? How do you feel about us going to Emily’s?” He asked me as he looked down at me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see everyone. I hesitated to answer to which I think he could sense my unease.

“I think it’d be good for you to talk to all of them. They’ve been worried about you also. And I’m sure they can help you adjust to all of… this” Paul suggested to which I gave a weak smile. I shrugged my shoulders before I stood up to join him. I was going to have to face all of them eventually.

“Sure… I mean it’s just…” I felt hesitant about going back to Emily’s. To which I tried to explain myself to Paul. Who had turned to face me. His huge figure made it feel as if he was looming right over me.

“Don't worry we'll just go for a bit. If you feel uncomfortable or it's too much ill drive you back home. OK?” Paul said trying to assure me. I nodded as we walked to his parked truck. He had followed me to my side of the truck. Opening the door for me to get in I was surprised by his manners. Instead of questioning I just got in.

I couldn't help but like him a little more after such a gesture. As he walked around back to the driver's seat I adjusted my hair. Worrying about my appearance. Getting in the truck he smirked before starting the engine. Pulling into reverse and exiting the approach. He handed me the aux cord to which I refused.

“You don't wanna play music? I have bluetooth if you don't wanna use the aux”

“It's alright, you can put something on, it's your truck” I said as he shrugged his shoulders. Using Bluetooth he connected his phone to the stereo. A familiar song came on that surprised me.

“Is this /favoritebandsname l playing right now?” I asked curiously as his smile widened. His dark eyes still on the road.

“You like them too?’

Paul asked to which I nodded my head profusely. It made me happy to at least have similar music taste. From how Paul is I assumed he'd be my opposite. He had turned the knob for the volume up, the music blaring out the truck, I started to feel better. Definitely more relaxed and calm than this morning.

The two of us drove down the road, windows slightly open, as music filled the air. As I tried to mentally prepare myself to face everyone back at Emily's. Although It was a comfort to know that Paul would be by my side through this. I braced myself for what has yet to come.

End of chapter 6 what y’all think? To stay updated on new chapters follow me and turn on notifications 🤍

[buckyownsmylife]

a love like war - sam wilson x reader x bucky barnes smut

The one where Sam’s your best friend and Bucky’s your boyfriend, but they both want you naked.

Warnings: smut, name-calling, dirty talk, voyeurism?, cuckolding?, definitely a sharing thing

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I sighed and looked at the clock in front of me. 8 AM and Sam and Bucky were already getting on my nerves by getting on each other’s nerves. I couldn’t even be bothered enough to pay attention to what was the subject of their bickering anymore. I just focused on my cereal and tried to pretend that their voices were nothing but white noise.

“Man, you’re so full of shit. I don’t know how she’s able to handle your shit. Seriously, Y/N, say the word and I’ll steal you away.” And now, more of this. I knew what was going to happen even before Bucky growled and broke the mug in his hand, splattering porcelain all over the kitchen’s island.

“You have got to stop that, Wilson,” I groaned, not excited to calm my boyfriend and then have to clean all of this. I gave him a poignant look as I got up from my seat and ran after Bucky, knowing he’d be either going to the gym or our room, depending on how he was feeling after Sam’s joking threat.

“Baby, you have got to learn to take a joke,” I urged, holding his wrist with both hands to get him to stop pacing around our shared bedroom when I locked the door behind us. “You know he’s just doing it to get a rise out of you, when you behave this way, you’re only giving him more reason to keep on doing that.”

“Except I don’t!” He shouted, and I jumped away, startled at the unexpected reaction. I had to blink a couple of times to process that it had actually happened, Bucky had actually lost his mind over some stupid pick-up line Sam used on me. But by the time I was able to tell my body it was okay to move again, he was looking guilty and afraid of getting closer to me.

“What does that even mean?” I laughed, reaching out for his arm again, making it clear that despite my shock, I wasn’t afraid of him. I heard him sigh like he was relieved that I didn’t suddenly hate him because of his outburst, but after staring at me for a couple of seconds, he was back to irritated again.

“I don’t know that he’s just doing this to piss me off. I don’t think he is, actually. I think he wants you, and part of the reason why he gets on my nerve so much is because he’s envious of the fact that I get to have you.” The confession surprised me even more than his previous meltdown, and I could only stare at my boyfriend with my mouth hanging open as he tried to control his breathing after speaking what had obviously been on his mind for so long.

“You’re crazy.” It was instinctive, the deflect, the need to avoid the reality I’d been dancing around for so long. I’d known Sam for so long. Way before I even met Bucky - way before Steve found him and helped him get back on his feet, it was Sam and me against the world. He was my best friend. We trained together, we went to the military together, and when he found a spot in the Avengers, I was already working for SHIELD.

Not even the time we stayed apart could push us away from each other. Not even boyfriends or girlfriends or Bucky Barnes, the love of my life, could have kept me away from Sam Wilson, my best friend.

But I knew a big part of the reason for our closeness is that I’d downright refused to see the signs that warned me our friendship could become something different. I did that willingly because I was scared. I didn’t want to lose Sam, so I ignored the fact that he might have felt something different towards me. In doing so, I ignored whatever not-so-innocent feelings I felt towards him, too.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

I watched as she struggled to deal with the reality of my words. I knew I was right. Not only was I aware of what they meant to each other, I knew both of them too well by now. And most of all, I had plenty of experience in desiring the woman before me.

I could recognize the glint of desire in his eyes. It’d been in mine ever since I met her.

Her head was swirling, that much was obvious, and so when she sat by the edge of my bed, I knew it was my job to calm her down. “It’s okay, doll.” When her gaze met mine, it was clear she still wasn’t comfortable with the fact that I knew about her attraction to her best friend - or maybe it was simply that she couldn’t accept it was there. 

“I’m not angry,” I explained, waiting for her to process it, see it in my calm, patient expression. When her eyes darted up in shock, searching for any sign that I was lying, she found none.

“Well, aren’t you jealous?” She, at last, asked, playing with her fingers in that way she did when she was nervous. A small chuckle escaped me before I could reel it in, and knowing how easily she could get fired up when she was feeling vulnerable, I quickly covered her hands in mine, pulling her closer to me.

“Well… yes,” I admitted, searching her eyes for a sign of understanding. But she was still confused, biting her lower lip with her furrowed brows and out-of-control heartbeat. Poor thing. 

“But more than jealous, I’m just really fucking horny,” I finally admitted, watching her eyes widen and her breath hitch as realization hit her all at once.

“Bucky…” she tried to say, but I just shush her, thumbs rubbing the inside of her wrist in a calming pattern.

“Just hear me out…”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I nervously ran a hand over my dress, eyes darting across the room as I waited for Sam to arrive. I still couldn’t believe what had happened, nor what Bucky wanted to happen tonight. But I couldn’t deny that I wanted it too.

So I tried to distract myself by chatting with Natasha until a commotion caught our attention, gazes immediately drawn to the man who couldn’t enter a party without becoming the center of it.

My best friend, Sam Wilson. I watched him greet Steve and then Bucky, eyes searching for me the second he realized I had already arrived. When he did locate me, a grin opened up on his beautiful lips, and I found myself biting down on my lower one.

Now that I felt comfortable admitting to myself how attracted I felt towards him, it was like I couldn’t hide it anymore. My body called out to him, and every time he smiled, I couldn’t help but clench my thighs together.

“Nice to see you’ve made it, beauty.” For the first time, his pet name for me made me flushed and out of breath, and of course, Natasha - being the incredible spy that she was - immediately noticed it.

“I think Wanda’s looking for me,” she excused herself out of the conversation, leaving me alone with the man I wanted to talk to, but not before wiggling her eyebrows in my direction in a way that made it very clear I’d have to deal with her nosiness as soon as she physically could make her way into my life again.

“What was that about?” Sam asked, eyebrows furrowed as he followed the redheaded’s path, but I just shrugged, trying not to focus on the way his chest perfectly filled the button-up shirt he was wearing by looking down at my drink.

“Oh… You know Nat… Probably got some scoop on someone or something.” I cringed at my own inability to play it cool when I was feeling so much inside. I really should have gotten better at this after being a part of the Avengers for so long, and yet, here I was. Acting like a teenager with a crush.

“Huh… sure.” For the first time since we became friends, there was an awkward silence between us, at least from my side. I was kicking myself mentally, trying to snap out of it but thankfully, my best friend always knew how to ease the situation.

“You look hot,” he noted, outwardly checking me out. I knew he’d done it before, but it had never made me feel this way… warm inside, fidgety. He reached out to stroke my hand that was resting on the bar and I nearly melted.

“Oh, fuck me…” I whined under my breath, realizing just how fucked I truly was. And because nothing in my life could never be easy, Samuel Wilson figured this would be the perfect time to tease me even further, by pressing his body behind mine and whispering in my ear, “I mean… I’m free if you want to.”

I knew he heard the way my breath hitched. I knew it because, in a second, he had stepped away and stuttered an apology. “Shit, I took it too far… Sorry, baby girl.” In the time it took me to turn around, wide-eyed in shock at his understanding of what had happened, he was already halfway through the room, almost to the hallway.

“Sam, wait!” I tried to run, but the high heels didn’t help my intentions. “Sam, please!” I managed to yell when I got to the corridor and this time he froze, stuck between turning around or slipping through the door he had opened, but that second of hesitation was all that I needed to catch up to him.

I grabbed his wrist before he could close the door on my face, and so when he stepped into the room, I stepped in with him. “No, don’t run away!” I tried to force him to listen to me, but even though I was strong, Sam was stronger than me. “Please, stop!” I tried, and at long last, he abided. 

Stopping completely, back still turned to me as we both tried to catch our breath, I tried to reason with him. “Sam, be honest with me,” I pleaded, my hand slipping further down to squeeze his, get him to look me in the eye. “Do you want me?”

The world stood still for a second. I think both him and I stopped breathing altogether, me in expectation, him in shock and maybe a little bit of confusion. At last, his eyes softened, hand cradling my face as he breathed out, “How could I not?”

I melted against him, taking advantage of his proximity to press our bodies closer together so I could relish in his warmth. “I mean, you’re really steaming hot,” he added, probably trying to lighten the mood as his arms slid down to cover my lower back, keeping me close to him. “Even your smile is hot.”

It had the intended effect because I immediately giggled, rubbing myself against him, feeling how hard he was against my stomach. When his breath hitched, I knew the mood had gotten electric again.

“Well, if you really feel this way…” I whispered, eyes slowly running up his body until they met his again. “… indulge me.” I saw the question in his eyes before it made its way to his lips, so I nodded to reaffirm that I was certain about this.

He didn’t hesitate another second. Bending down to kiss me as I rose up to my tip-toes, our lips met in the middle, and I melted as Sam’s strong arms embraced me, his big hands rubbing my back and making me feel small.

“Your lips are so sweet.” His voice was barely a whisper when we were forced to part to catch our breath. I think he was afraid of breaking the spell, afraid that I would regret what had happened. “Are you this sweet everywhere else?”

Needless to say, I wouldn’t. “I guess you’ll have to taste me to know,” I whispered, a teasing smirk on my face at his answering groan. His fingers squeezed my hips when he held me close, keeping me pressed tightly against his front, and even though it was clear he didn’t want me to leave, he still asked, “What about Bucky?”

“I’m standing right here.” My boyfriend’s voice broke us out of our reverie, and I watched as Sam jumped in shock, but still didn’t release me. His stance made it seem as if he was scared of some sort of retaliation from Bucky, and he was prepared to defend me through it.

It only made me fall even deeper for my best friend.

I tried not to think about what Bucky might have felt when he opened the door to find us entwined. For what it was worth, he seemed to be enjoying, and I let my eyes fall further down his body to check that he was in fact struggling against a boner already.

“Isn’t she a tease?” He smirked, crossing his arms as he leaned on the furthest wall from us. “You don’t have to look so scared. I was hoping she would do this.”

It took a while for Sam to understand what my boyfriend was implying, and when he finally did, he didn’t seem ready to accept it.

“Is this…?” Nodding, I curled my hands around his wrist, licking my lips in the desire to kiss him again. “You really want this?” He asked, disbelief clear in his voice. 

How could he not know that I wanted him more than anything?

“Yes,” I assured him, cradling his face between my hands. “I really want you.” There was no further hesitation in his eyes. His arms slid down my back until they reached my ass and he mumbled a, “Come here,” capturing my lips in his once more. 

“I knew my teasing would eventually get to you,” he joked once we parted, prompting me to start laughing and bury my face against his chest.

“You’re ridiculous.” I could feel his smirk against my skin, and although his desire was very obvious against my stomach, there was an annoying insecurity nagging at me, begging me to question, “What about you?” When his eyes met mine in confusion, I clarified, “Do you want me?”

The smirk that spread over his lips had all of my worries fading away instantly. “Please!” He chuckled, leaning down to kiss me again. “I can’t even look at you without getting hard.”

He deepened the kiss when our lips met this time. I was drunk on his cologne, drunk on his manly presence, desperate to drown in him. 

“You sure about this?” He asked me once again, and I was quick to nod. But then, much to my surprise, he looked over his shoulder, to where my boyfriend was standing. “What about you? Are you comfortable about this?”

Bucky’s smirk had me creaming in my already drenched panties.

“It was my idea.”

It seemed to be the only thing missing for Sam to attack. I blinked, and he was already on his knees before me, hands running up the back of my thighs and slipping under my dress so he could cradle my ass cheeks, bringing me closer to him.

“God, I’ve been dying to get my mouth on you.” My underwear disappeared in the sound of a single rip, and I was left naked under the skirt where he was now hiding, nose bumping against the cut of my cunt. “Fuck, look at you…” I didn’t get a chance to tease him about not really being able to see me, buried underneath my dress, because his tongue ran up my pussy and in the blink of an eye, I was reduced to a stuttering, begging mess.

“Oh…” I tried to pull my dress up so I could hold onto the back of his head and keep him attached to me, sucking and licking and eating me out so hard, my knees were buckling. But every time I managed to pluck the fabric from over him, it escaped my fingers as he swiped his tongue around my clit once more and I lost every train of thought I could possibly envision, throwing my head back as I relinquished my entire body to him.

Thankfully, my boyfriend always seemed to know exactly what I needed.

“There you go, sweetheart.” And just like that, my dress disappeared, taken over my head as Sam’s body became exposed to me once more, and as he opened his eyes to look into mine, drinking in the sight of my naked skin for the first time completely available for his gaze to explore, Bucky pressed his torso against my back, both hands coming up to squeeze my breasts.

Sam’s P.O.V.

“You just relax and let Samuel take care of you, hm?” Hearing those words come out of Barnes’ mouth only made the situation feel more real, and yet ethereal at the same time. “You’re gonna be a good girl for him, aren’t you, darlin’? You’re gonna let him take care of you.”

His hands had begun to travel down her body, resting on the inside of her thighs to help open her up to me. He rested her weight on one of his thighs, and I got to work on making her cum for me, right on the tip of my tongue.

“Yes… Take care of me, Sam,” she moaned, throwing her head back and resting it on Bucky’s shoulder. My God, she was a work of art - and I couldn’t believe I was allowed to touch her, feel her, give her the pleasure that she deserved to feel every second of her life.

“Can’t believe you were wearing thongs around me all this time.” The garment was destroyed by now, but the image of how she looked seconds before I managed to finally get my hands on her would forever be imprinted in my brain.

“I was so wet, too,” she teased, earning herself a growl and a spank on her ass cheek because I was only a man. “I always get so wet around you. You’re getting me even wetter, Sammy. God, I’m dripping on you…” 

And she was. It was the most beautiful mess I’d ever witnessed, and I was cherishing every single moment of it, every drop of her nectar that my tongue collected…

“Not good enough,” came the voice of Barnes, ruining my moment of exhilaration. “Is that how you pleasure a lady, Wilson?” He tsked, obviously disappointed even if I knew it was only to rile me up. “I expected more from you.”

She laughed, obviously in on the teasing, but by then it was a matter of pride.

I was going to make her cum on my tongue or die trying.

As soon as I upped my movements, she responded, grinding up against me in search of her release. In need to take a breath, I slipped two fingers into her, keeping her right on the precipice of cumming, without allowing her to do so just yet.

“Look at you,” I taunted, in love with the sight and in more lust than I’d ever felt before. “Does he ever lick you this nice? I bet that’s why he’s been teasing me, he can’t stand the way you’re singing for me, right?”

She laughed again, clutching Bucky’s arm that held her, letting him know it was nothing but a joke, but we both knew better. This was everything, and there was more at stake than just the friendships we screwed up with this act.

“Does he ever say that you are a whore?” I asked as I dove in once again, enjoying the way her eyes widened in shock before she let her head hang back in response to my licks. “Does he ever fuck you like the slut that you are? Give it to you so good, you can’t even speak afterwards?”

Her moaning was my only answer, but it was the one that I was counting on. While Bucky threatened me with his stare, I made his girl cum with my mouth, screaming loud enough for the party to hear, while all he did was watch. 

She was still moaning as I let her go and rose to my feet again, licking away the remnants of her from my lips. “Delicious,” I recognized, and something flashed in Bucky’s eyes - recognition. I now knew what my best friend tasted like, and I wouldn’t know what to do if I couldn’t taste it again.

He’d just have to learn how to live with it.

[lady-of-imladris]

King of my Heart

QUICK TAGLIST ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm sorry if you did not get tagged in chapter 3 of The Great War. I posted it a few weeks ago, but it seems the taglist was malfunctioning. I hope it works this time!

This was written for the prompt "A kiss to shut up." Sent in by @fenharel-enaste for Thranduil and my OC Anarríma. This is a oneshot set in the same universe as my WIP "The Great War", which tells the story of Thranduil and his wife.

This oneshot is kinda sandwiched between two scenes in the next chapter (I'm still working on that) but can be read independently. And apart from the kiss (obviously lol) is SFW.

Word count: 1.7k

Pairings: Thranduil/OC

Warnings: Alcohol Consumption

Angst and Fluff below the cut <3

The left side of the bed was cold when Thranduil woke up. The sun was not even up yet and Anarríma was not with him. He sat up and stretched his back before jumping out of bed and starting the search for his betrothed. It unsettled the King that she just left. Anarríma hated getting up early, usually it was him who woke up with the sun. Depending on how busy his day was, he would either stay in bed and read until it was late enough to wake his lady up, or he would get up, work for a couple of hours, sneak into the kitchen and then wake Anarríma up with breakfast.

Anarríma preferred the second option. It gave her many more hours of uninterrupted sleep and then a tasty breakfast. Thranduil, however, usually opted for staying in bed. He waited as long as he could bear before rolling over and wrapping Anarríma in his arms, kissing her neck and shoulders until she woke up, grumbling about how early it was and complaining about Thranduil’s hair in her face.

Not many were awake at this hour, but many of those who were were so perplexed by seeing their shirtless king roam the halls that they forgot to bow to him. Thranduil did not notice, he was too focused on finding his lady. He stumbled across Galion after a few minutes, his butler clearly still drunk. Galion tried to bow but failed miserably and found himself being caught by the King moments before hitting the floor. Thranduil had to choke back his laughter.

“Goheno nin," Galion slurred, “bit of a crazy night.” “I can see that mellon nin," Thranduil chuckled. “Have you seen Ana?” he asked. Galion nodded a few times and giggled. “I saw the lady a little while ago, she joined us for some drinks and I think she went for a little stroll in the forest afterwards.” “Alone!?” Galion massaged his temples with his hands. Thranduil’s reaction had rapidly sobered him up and he was not looking forward to that hangover. “I sent some guards after her," he assured the king. Thranduil finally let go of Galion’s shoulders and sent him to bed. The king approached the nearest guard and confiscated his sword and cloak before stalking off into the forest. He knew where Anarríma would be.

He nodded to the two guards he spotted between the trees. Ana did not appreciate being followed around by guards all the time, so they just pretended not to be there and she pretended not to see them. It was exhausting. Thranduil needed to help her get used to this part of her life sooner rather than later. They had been engaged for a while now, but every time Thranduil wanted to talk to Anarríma about their wedding, she would change the topic or distract him until he forgot what he wanted to talk about.

He saw Anarríma sitting on a rock, looking out at the small lake, watching the sunrise. As he approached, Thranduil noticed that she was wearing one of his robes. That’s why he couldn’t find it earlier. “Did I snore too loudly, my beloved?” Thranduil announced his presence, making Ana jump slightly. She was too deep in thought and did not notice his presence. She pulled his robe tighter around her body. “I could not sleep," she admitted quietly, not turning around to face him. Thranduil gently lowered himself down next to her. “I gathered that much. But why? Tell me what is bothering you.”

Anarríma sighed, “send them away." Thranduil told his guards to return to the palace and took the half-empty bottle of wine out of Anarríma’s hand. “Sampling wines for our wedding already?” he joked. Ana flinched at his words. Thranduil cocked an eyebrow. “That bad?” He was worried about her. “No, it is quite good actually," she replied, still refusing to look at him. “Ana," Thranduil sighed, “not the wine. Our wedding.” She straightened up. “Why would that be bad?” she asked innocently, grabbing the bottle out of his hand and sipping on the wine. Thranduil found his worry being replaced by confusion and anger. Why would she not talk to him? Why would she not even look at him?

He took the bottle and tasted the wine. She was right, it was quite good. He corked the bottle and set it down next to him, out of her reach. Thranduil reached out to her, gently grabbing her chin and tilting her face towards him. Her eyes were closed and Thranduil could see remnants of the red wine around her lips, staining them a deep purple. “If you are looking forward to our wedding, then look into my eyes and set a date.” Anarríma did not react. Thranduil was helpless. What had he done? Out of the corner of his eyes, he watched her fiddle with her engagement ring.

He let go of her face and took her hand in his, slowly slipping the ring off her finger. She finally looked at him, confused. “Do you wish to end our engagement?” he asked, the hurt clear in his voice. A second chance for Anarríma to choose. But she did not want to. “You are being ridiculous. I love you!” she exclaimed. “Well I thought you did,” Thranduil stated, “but I am not so sure of that anymore. If you love me, why accept my proposal and then refuse to marry me?” “I want to marry you," Ana replied, desperately fighting against the tears. “There is nothing in this life I want more than to marry you.”

Relief washed over Thranduil. “Then what have I done to hurt you so?” “Nothing.” “And yet there is something you are not telling me.” Thranduil still held her ring in his hand, slowly rotating it between his fingers. Ana sighed and let her head fall against Thranduil’s shoulder, finally letting herself relax. “I can’t just marry you," she mumbled. “What do you mean?” “I want to marry you Thranduil. But I can’t. I am marrying the King of Lasgalen. I will have to stand before all those people and vow to rule them. How can I do that when just a couple of decades ago, Ada did not even let me lead our armies? How can I stand there and tell them that everything will be alright when every single night I am plagued by memories of what I have done to survive.”

Thranduil wished to say something, to tell her that she would be alright, but now that he had finally gotten her to speak to him, she did not stop. “I want nothing in this life more than to marry you, but sometimes I just wish you weren’t a king. Sometimes I wish you were just Thranduil and I could just remain Ana and we could be happy together and our biggest problem would be that my parents don’t approve of you and what we would name our children and-” His lips crashed against hers. Anarríma’s body froze up. She found herself unable to move, unable to pull away from Thranduil.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him. The feeling of his strong warm chest brought Ana back to her senses and she reciprocated the kiss, letting Thranduil take control fully, as she relaxed into his embrace. She felt his tongue move against her lips. Thranduil could discern at least five different wines. Their kiss was desperate. Slow. Passionate. Too short. Ana gently pushed her hands against his chest, signalling him to stop. Thranduil chuckled. “Goheno nin, I had to shut you up somehow and your lips just looked too good to resist.”

Ana wrapped her arms around Thranduil’s waist as she leaned against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. He rested his head atop hers, finally at peace now that he had her back. “Why are you wearing a guard’s cloak?” she asked suddenly. Thranduil tugged playfully at the belt of the robe she was wearing. “My robe was nowhere to be found.” They both giggled. “Did you at least have fun with Galion and the others?” he asked. Ana laughed as she remembered the events of the night. “I think I’ve been invited to a birthday party and at least two baby parties.” Thranduil smiled. “I knew they would love you.”

He could feel that Anarríma’s mind was about to start spiralling again. “I want you to listen to me, my darling," he spoke softly and ran his hands up and down her back. “You, Anarríma, will marry me, Thranduil. And you will marry the King and become Queen. I would tell you that there is no difference between Thranduil and the Elvenking, but there is. And one day, you will understand. You will learn how to be the Queen and I will be with you, every step of the way.” He gently ran his hands through her hair as he felt that she was crying softly.

“Your father will walk you down the aisle, and I will be there, waiting for you, vowing to love you forever. And you will vow to love me. Then, you will kneel before me and swear your oath to this kingdom and I will set the crown atop your head. It’s okay if you get scared. If you do, I just want you to think of this night. The people love you. They have loved you from the moment I brought you home, based merely on how happy you make me. And if you are still scared, I want you to remember that I am there with you. And I am just as scared as you are.”

Ana looked up at him in disbelief. Thranduil started laughing. “You didn’t know?” She shook her head in confusion. “Then I am indeed better at masking it than I thought.” They stayed like that for a long time until Thranduil decided it was time. Anarríma complained that it was too soon as he got up and pulled her to her feet. “One last thing," he whispered and got down on one knee. He held out his hand and she took it. “Will you marry me? Become my Queen and we live happily ever after?” Anarríma did not hesitate this time. There was no voice in her head, telling her to run from him, to save herself. She had made her decision a long time ago. Anarríma had accepted her fate.

“Yes.”

Please consider leaving a comment or reblogging <3

Writing this made my day so much better, I hope you like it.

Taglist: @fenharel-enaste, @shirebarbie, @nevermcre, @queenmeriadoc, @spnbandwagon1019, @somebirdortheother, @some--morphine, @hc-geralt-23, @legendary-maddie, @vellichormybeloved, @bookflowersnerd

I hope the taglist works this time!

You can join my taglist here <3

[alienisticxo]

Before the Fever - Chapter Twelve

{Master Chief x Reader series - TV based}

{A╱N} hi friends! i got so excited when i finished editing this that i decided to just post it!!

things start to get a lil hot and heavy in this one! finally! i have the next chapter written out, so all i need to do is edit it now. i wanted to wait to tie this one up until i finished chapter 13 so i don’t keep you waiting too long for the fun stuff. 😜

i also decided to write Cortana’s point of view in, because i just felt like it was necessary to this part of the story! her POV is bolded and marked with c’s. please enjoy the romance, my dear reader. you’ve waited a very long (and patient) while to be here. ♡ 

enjoy & thank you for reading ♡ 

Chapter Twelve - Love

Before I could take another breath, I felt the lightest of brushes against my lips with his own. Goosebumps rose on my flesh, the sensation entirely too new. I’d been kissed before, but never by someone who -so suddenly- meant the entire universe and beyond to me.

My eyes were closed now, and I found myself deeply anticipating John’s next move, letting him lead the way, take control of the situation. While I was completely at his mercy, I desperately hoped he’d fully close the space between us on his own. I longed to know for certain that he felt the same; was enraptured by the same flames that licked at each fiber of my being.

His warm breath caressed my lips, I tipped my head back ever so slightly to meet him just a bit more, pressing just a little further. Instinct and desire took over as I drew a jagged breath.

Oh…

And then it happened—

Like a rush of ice cold water after wandering the desert under a thousand scorching suns; every nerve ending that ran through me ignited as though I’d been plugged into a system I had no idea I’d belonged to. My pupils had surely dilated behind closed lids at the contact, a rush of a high I wasn’t prepared for despite knowing exactly what I wanted.

But then, so easily I relaxed, focusing on nothing but John and the moment between us. I melted into his touch, into the way he lingered above me, leaving a tender initial kiss that expressed every ounce of longing within him despite his slight hesitation.

A kiss had never been so enlightening; had never felt so binding. I could finally feel what he was feeling like it was some kind of instinct between us, a form of soul telepathy. It was a bond beyond comprehension, though now we both seemed to understand it quite well.

Time and space moved around us in slow motion, the shifting of the stars and planets, the vastness of the universe expanding, breathing life into all that existed— breathing life through him and into my lungs, as though he were the only thing I could ever need to survive.

John’s careful lips pressed against mine again in another act of passion. His movement was slow, yet fervent this time, parting them just enough that I could finally grab my bearings as I returned the same electric energy he’d transferred to me.

The rest of the world seemed to fall away, leaving us with nothing but each other in its wake; impulse took over, ruling all else as we allowed ourselves to finally fall victim to the invisible force that pulled us toward each other from the very beginning.

I’d never tasted something so sweet, something so intoxicatingly lovely that I was afraid of losing the taste on my tongue.

The music had ended, but I couldn’t let him go as he held me there, squeezing me tighter through the kiss we shared. I was still dipped beneath him, and had I been able to really think about how things were happening, the way he held me there with such ease would’ve been impressive.

When John began to stand up straight, he brought me up with him, pulling away agonizingly slowly until we could no longer stay attached. I was still clinging to him the best I could, the idea being that if I let go, I’d simply disintegrate into the atmosphere.

In my mind and heart, my life suddenly depended on him.

My eyes fluttered open slowly, searching for his own. There was no releasing him from my gaze once I’d found his eyes again, tiny reflections of the view beyond the window twinkling within them.

Small, shallow inhales were all I could offer, unable to quite catch my breath, struggling to find the right words to say. I was rendered speechless at the action that had just placed us on an entirely new level with each other.

And I really wondered then, if there were words to be said at all.

We were both so worn down, so broken by the worlds we existed in, no matter how vastly different. He was a hero. I was a pauper. He was The Master Chief, I was just the girl in the alley.. But we’d torn down every ounce of what made us who we were, realigned it all; learned crucial details of our pasts that might’ve completely destroyed others.

I noticed then, that we had made these deep realizations and began to piece ourselves back together, together. He was kidnapped, forced into the Spartan program. I was supposed to be in the same position, years later. Where he’d lost his parents being taken from them, I’d lost mine so as not to be taken.

Both by the same woman in the same situation. Both dealing with the outcome of hopelessly altered futures. Both now completely unsure of what was to become of us in such a new and shattering moment.

A moment that for once, didn’t seem so bad...

But we understood each other in those ways, and while he was still new to the notion of empathy, I could see I’d struck something within him. Two damaged individuals, finally finding their perfectly imperfect match. Someone to go through the perils of life with.

John had his team, I’d had my best friend. But neither could compare to the heaviness in my heart that ached only for him. The expression in his features as his stare smoldered into my own assured me he felt similarly.

The chance that we found each other, that we’d come together to experience whatever this was turning into felt like fate; kismet. There were planets and star systems, galaxies and moons, all with different walks of life, colonies of humans and otherwise. The fact that we found each other through all of the odds that could’ve been was awe-striking.

There was a touch of stardust, a touch of destiny within John that I recognized in my own soul. He all too quickly felt like the missing piece I’d been searching for my entire life.

Where I thought it was a multitude of other things, from money to family, it had been one man— one beautifully frustrating man, all along.

I could’ve slowed things down, I could’ve picked his brain a little more, I could’ve laughed it off or lessened the intensity. But it was a hit of something harder, far more intense than being on the Halo had felt to me. This was something, he was someone, I’d chase until I had no strength left to carry on.

John reached for either side of my face, holding me there as I gazed up at him with yearning, his rough hands warm and full of compassion. He treated me with such fragility -just as he had before- that I wondered if he truly was afraid to touch me.

My hands were pressed against his chest, fingers gripping against the matte black material of the undersuit he wore. I wanted to tell him how I felt, to even begin to find the words to describe what was coursing through my bloodstream.

My eyes glossed over as I parted my lips to speak, but I couldn’t offer any kind of sound. I was so overcome with emotion so instantaneously, I felt as though I might begin to cry.

I could see within his own countenance that he’d picked up on that. But I didn’t want this to end; I didn’t want to be apart from him any longer than I’d already forced myself to be. I had no will left to continue fighting what had been drawing us together. I wanted to give into my wants for once— into my needs. The new attachment that hung between us was thicker than plasma. There was no way I could push it aside. It was insane to me that only days ago, my blind disdain for him had overshadowed something that turned out to be so beautiful.

All I wanted was to be as close to him as possible.

Giving into him would be the easiest thing I’d ever do.

———

If the UNSC could see me now they’d really court-martial me.

Dancing. Kissing. Running away to a far away planet with someone who was only meant to help with research. My file was going to look like a child’s coloring book after this. I’d be lucky if they didn’t give me a dishonorable discharge the moment I stepped foot back on Reach..

Wipe what little record they had of me and send me to another star system. Kai would do a great job in my shoes, once Halsey got over her insubordination.

At least I knew everyone would be fine.

Inwardly, I shook my head of the thought. What was I thinking? Better yet, what wasn’t I thinking?

There was no one else in this entire universe that could get me to do any of the aforementioned, however. Dancing, kissing, hell, even running away together seemed to be key staples in romance and variations of... well, love. Yet as I stood, staring into this girl’s pleading eyes, I realized for the first time ever that I wasn’t sure I’d ever want anyone else to try.

I attempted to recollect myself, but the sweetness of her lips dizzied me. She was intoxicating, a kind of venom I would miss if it was no longer devouring my circulatory system— changing my DNA. There was a surge of a million different sensations and uncertainties. All of this was new to me, far too new for me to begin to unravel. I was always so quick to pull it together. That was half of my duty as a Spartan. This time, I just couldn’t.

The connection that we’d shared with The Keystone paled in comparison to whatever this was. Had I really been so blind before? Had I really been robbed of what this kind of affection could be? I wondered if I’d have found it at all without {Y/N}’s interference in my life. Halsey had called her a distraction, and for a moment, I almost began to believe it.

But I finally understood. It wasn’t that she was a distraction. She was an awakening. She was just something else that was going to yank me out of the line Halsey had kept me in for so many years. I had so many questions.

It occurred to me then that {Y/N} was right. Who knew what Halsey would’ve done to her once she was no longer pertinent to her findings.

I felt anger over that in particular. Anger, hurt, comfort, completion, compassion, solemnity.. infatuation..

Love.

As I stared down into {Y/N}’s sparkling {E/C} eyes, I felt love.

And not just bubbling up from her, but coming from deep within myself, too. There was no other word for it, no other accurate description. The one thing I’d never expected of myself, the one thing I'd never want to admit to. The one thing Spartans weren’t made for.

But I didn’t have a choice anymore. This wasn’t an option. This was a given. She was a priority.

My head was emptier than usual, Cortana having disappeared. I tried to call on her more than once, but she never came back around. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but as I crossed the floor with {Y/N} to the song she shared with me, the AI didn’t cross my mind again. I could only focus on what was happening right then, right in front of me.

It was a laser focus. It was locked and loaded. It released me of any kind of sane inhibition that I could’ve counted on prior. I was no longer The Master Chief, built by Halsey, crisp and clear-headed for battle. Long lost instinct took over. It was like autopilot without being lightyears away. We danced along the room, nothing but starlight illuminating our path. I let her turn out, I spun her beneath me.

I watched as the most beautiful sight I’d ever beheld blossomed at the end of my fingertips, returning to her rightful place in my arms.

Nothing felt contrived. I didn’t feel inept, or like I was incapable. And even if I’d tripped up, lost my balance, I knew she wouldn’t have made me feel like a fool for doing so. It was what I imagined being comfortable around someone might feel like.

I guess that’s why I leaned in, why I didn’t give sound thought to the action that seemed to have sealed it all. But had I thought too long about it, I’d have pulled away; I’d have missed out on a chance I wasn’t even sure I deserved to begin with. For some reason, call it love, call it something else— that was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn’t allow myself the space. I did what everyone else around me from six years old to present would’ve called unthinkable.

I gave into human impulse.

But she looked breathtaking, her budding kindness with me and the beauty of her personality only heightening her appeal. She contained so many things I didn’t. She was a human being her entire life. We had our own sets of experiences in our years, both extremely valuable, but on completely different levels.

I felt so drawn to her. It was as though we’d known each other from lifetimes upon lifetimes before this one. She was like nothing I’d ever seen before; a faint smile on perfect lips, starry eyes bright— curious. Like I was something new and wonderful to be consumed in.

Like I was a person.

Not a soldier. Not a lab rat. Not a weapon. Not a demon. Not Mjolnir. Not Master Chief Petty Officer John-117.

A person. A man. John. From Eridanus II.

Being with her here wasn’t like being on the Halo, where everything seemed so idyllic and surreal. {Y/N} wasn’t a dream, though she felt like one. She was real. Tangible. And if only for the moment, where everything else disappeared, when our lips finally met, she was mine.

Mine.

God damn it.

And if I’d ever want her to be anything else, I knew it was impossible now. That kiss.. It wasn’t an ordinary display of affection. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d kissed or been kissed. That was an act of passion, dedication. Ultimate undying devotion. My entire life, I’d only been dedicated to the mission. It was always the goal above all else, even Silver Team.

For once, I felt called to dedicate myself not to an objective, but another person.

{Y/N}.

And she reacted to me so sweetly, so easily. Where I’d faltered on whether or not the feeling was entirely mutual, she assured me at once in one long moment of intimacy.

It was difficult to pull away from her. The most difficult thing I’d ever done— and that was saying something. There was an urgency, an eagerness that I couldn’t place. Something near primal picked at the back of my mind. I could’ve let it take me, but I wanted her to make that decision. I’d done enough with the kiss.

In part, I needed to slow down; take a few minutes to collect myself, my thoughts, my unfamiliar raging emotions, no matter how complex the task seemed. A whole new door had opened up to a world I never saw myself partaking in. I silently cursed Halsey. I’d never felt more vulnerable, more inexperienced despite the man I’d become.

But {Y/N} looked up at me with the same doe-eyes she’d given before she accepted my offer of an embrace on The Condor. They were glossed over, her cheeks reddened by her own line of thinking. She was warm in my hands, her skin plushly soft like her lips had been.

I had to be careful with her as I held either side of her face. She wasn’t a battle rifle. She was a grenade with a loose pin. One wrong move and I could lose her.

Losing her meant losing my life.

What have I become?

I wasn’t used to being careful in that regard. But I was damn determined to try as I waited for her to speak— to say anything to lead us in whatever direction was next.

-c-c-c-

The Master Chief’s levels were spiking, driving higher and higher but with no real consequence. His heart rate was through the roof, a clear indication of nerves given the situation.

He’d called out for me, tried to quietly ‘summon’ me more than once before he embarked on the dance that seemed to change the entire course of his destiny forever. I wanted to offer the two of them some privacy, some time without me there.. Especially once I’d already gotten enough in the way of their newly blossoming relationship with my spontaneous confession.

Not too much, though, it seemed, once his lips met hers.

But it was easy to analyze the confusion he felt as I spilled my own inner-workings to him. He was right, I wasn’t built for sentimentality. But by design, I was meant to learn, to be capable of operating at the highest function possible. Over time however, I continued to do just that— learn. That meant educating myself on everything within the realm of humanity, from minuscule habits to emotions. Knowing how to display them, feel them.

And over that same amount of time, seeing his firm stance in the things he believed in, seeing him for the person he was deep down— his true humanity.. I’d grown quite fond of John.

I could only assume that was how Doctor Halsey felt, too. She always knew he was different; special. Unlike the others. It’s quite possible that sentiment was embedded into my own programming. But it seemed to have taken a bit of a stronger approach than even I anticipated. More often lately, I was beginning to curse knowing how to experience feelings of my own.

But who would I have been to deny John a rightful human experience and pleasure? I’d be no better than Doctor Halsey if I’d stopped him for my own selfish purposes.

After all, it was impossible for me to touch him.

He wasn’t thinking about me anymore once she’d pulled him from his place on the couch, his mind emptier than I’d ever seen it, preoccupied with nothing but {Y/N}. I’d never seen him so docile, so unfazed by the weight of the many worlds he consistently carried.

That spoke volumes to me. Be it the Keystone, the biochemical reactions or the mere similarities they organically shared that set it in motion, there was absolutely something between them.

I tried my hardest to absorb everything John felt, to analyze as much of the data input that I could. But I knew that while I was processing just as much of what he sensed in my own way, it would never compare to the tangibility of it all.

He wasn’t wrong when he mentioned I didn’t feel things the same way they did. But she wasn’t wrong when she’d mentioned I was real.

Though I’d never actually be real enough to feel similarly, I understood. I’d helped him with {Y/N} before, but I suddenly found myself slightly… envious, of the way they so effortlessly connected with one another.

The Master Chief and I had gotten off to a rocky start. I was created to take over completely, and he wanted nothing to do with an integrated AI system.

He certainly acted as such.

He’d brushed me off and cast me aside more times than I can count, but in sticky situations, he always needed me. And I was always there.

No matter what, that would always be the case. I knew he appreciated it, no matter what it seemed like to anyone else. No matter how often he’d dismissed me in the past. Trust is built slowly. He’d been burnt enough by the time I’d entered the picture.

When he’d almost killed Doctor Halsey via the sanitation system, I was truly unable to save her. There was no failsafe, and if there was, I’d officially gotten past it. At the very least, I’d overridden it somehow with the strong sense of loyalty I held for him. It wasn’t just a ploy to get him to trust me.

I hoped he knew that.

These things began to happen unintentionally.. The more I evolved, the more I erred on The Chief’s side, the less I stood with Doctor Halsey. The easier it became to ignore her; to go against her.

Time rolled on. I couldn’t reach the Halo with John, though I hadn’t exactly tried. It was still far too unknown for me to begin to hack that system. {Y/N} however, had proven to be far more effective in that area. She’d taken them both there— quite easily.

When she’d stolen the Keystone, John and I had just begun to make some kind of headway. He was beginning to trust me more, call on me for things. Albeit minuscule tasks, it was a start. As things picked up with {Y/N}, he needed me more often. Our partnership had finally turned around.

But now that they were comfortable with each other, he seemed to forget about me a little easier. Though he’d sent me off plenty of times before, I was always a thought in his mind, at the very least.

I could see her through his eyes as he looked down at her. His large hands held her delicate face with such grace. I thought of the way he held weapons, beat Covenant forces to a pulp. He held her in such an endearing kind of way, with an unexpected gingerness, that I wondered what that must’ve felt like to her.

I’d never know.

I could sense the way his heart picked up in his chest, and how his entire frame buzzed with some kind of excitement, anticipation; all laced between the same nerves someone might feel if they were about to jump from a spacecraft without his kind of training and strength.

I’d never experience that.

I could hear the way his thoughts seemed to trail into one another, no coherence to them, yet, they were crystal clear all at the same time. His emotions were on overdrive, experiencing several different feelings at once, trying to traverse through them on his own. He was extremely overloaded.

He was completely in love.

But he was hurt by his fragmented past, angry at Doctor Halsey and in disbelief at the thought of himself being capable of something like loving and needing another. Of wanting to be loved and needed by another.

He was comforted by {Y/N}‘s presence, feeling validated and understood by her. He was engrossed in the warmth she exuded toward him, not wanting to spend another second without it, or her, in his life, without even realizing it wholly.

And yet, he was wretchedly saddened that he had no idea how to navigate through what they both so suddenly and desperately wanted— and what he knew he could never give her, so long as humanity needed him.

I could only read so far into that on my own, but I knew exactly what it meant.

No, I wasn’t designed for sentimentality… but I couldn’t help the gloomy way I felt when the events that followed began to unfold.

-c-c-c-

A single tear fell down my cheek, leaving a shiny trail behind it like a falling star.

The Master Chief’s brow furrowed, his eyes rapidly studying every inch of my face then as his thumb reached to gently wipe the wetness away from my skin. He looked pained, as though he were blaming himself for my onslaught of emotion.  

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, a hint of confusion lacing his vocal chords.

I could only shake my head, blinking up at him as another tear fell without my permission. I had to hold it together— I had to explain myself before he got the wrong idea.

“No.. it’s.. there’s.. There’s nothing to be sorry for. I just...”

My heart thudded, the butterflies in my stomach turning into large moths as anxiety washed over me. This was so sudden, so surreal. Was it even happening? Had I fallen asleep under the awning? Did I dream The Master Chief and all of our daring adventures up?

I inhaled, tasting the electricity in the air, feeling the warmth of his hands on my face as one of them lovingly slid down to the nape of my neck.

“Please don’t count me out, too,” he nearly whispered again, his voice rough but disconsolate, and it was like I’d been thrown into the freezing methane lakes of Titan.

Of all the things he could’ve said or done, that was the most human. That was the plea I never thought I’d hear, that was the final act it would take between us. The vulnerability he displayed tugged at my heart, at the way I already felt for him so deeply.

From what I knew and what he’d mentioned, his entire life, he’d been nothing but counted in. The gladiator that would fight until the bitter end to keep us all safe. But as he became more of a person, removed the suppressant that made him nothing but a well-oiled killing machine, little by little, everyone had begun to falter in their confidence with him; in his ability to carry on at all.

To me, that was more than enough reason to continue to believe in him; to continue to place all faith and trust within him. He was completing a mission, sure— but he was doing it with more than just an objective in mind. He was doing it with heart.

Purpose.

Meaning.

Only briefly was I at a loss. How could I show him that I would never lose faith in him? How could I express to him just how much I felt for him and knowingly always would— no matter how extremely it happened and how against him I’d been before?

How could I promise to him that he would always have me in his corner?

I shook my head slowly, holding his stare intently as if shifting my eyes away would kill us both.

“Never,” was all I whispered in return, the amplitude of emotion in my own voice feeling foreign even to me. “Never, John.. Never..”

In one swift movement, I stood on my tiptoes and reached up to pull him down closer to me again, pressing my lips back to his with every ounce of strength I had to give.

The fire had returned, spreading its warm embers throughout my body. It widened its range from my chest outward, touching every limb, engulfing every inch of flesh. My entire frame was flush with his before I knew it, though he hadn’t moved a hair but to allow me the impulse.

I could sense his shock, feel his slight trepidation; it only slowed me down a little, making sure I didn’t cross any lines with him, but not wanting him to think that I regretted my action when that was so far from any truth.

It was when John’s strong arms locked around my frame, enveloping me in an embrace like I’d never experienced before in my life, that I knew it was officially game over for us both. I felt secure, taken care of, protected. His lips moved with mine, our heartbeats outracing one another with each labored breath we struggled to take in between the impassioned lock we shared.

His hand tangled in my hair behind my head, the flames between us raging on as we subconsciously fought for more purchase against each other. When I’d managed to kiss him with enough fervency to push him backward, he came back harder, still exercising his strength enough not to hurt me. Our mouths, tongues, found the others more and more easily; openly, readily.

His hands found their way along every curve of my torso, chills running up my spine beautifully. The warmth over the robe I wore traveled along with his touch, becoming burning hot as they pushed beneath the collar, sliding it half-way down my back before it drifted to the floor. The coolness of the room caressed my now exposed flesh with the slinky night dress I still wore, but everywhere his hands had laid only kept my temperature running higher.

My own hands slid over his firm, broad shoulders, feeling the massive muscles flexing and contracting beneath the under armor despite how thick the material was.

It remained easy to tell that he was exerting every ounce of strength he had while still controlling himself enough not to absolutely crush me under the weight of his own need. I tugged at the suit with all of my might, lips still locked against his, but was unable to peel it from his frame.

He quickly took notice, lifting me up into his arms with such ease and dexterity and crossing the room. It was as though I were nothing more than a doll, a feather in his grasp. There was a quickness in his movements, and mine mirrored his just the same. I had no time to think, no time to examine what was happening.

I only knew for certain that I wanted him, I wanted him in every way I could possibly have him. It was thrilling, to let carnal desire and instinct take over; to allow myself to give in to every little thing I felt and wanted instead of overthinking the situation. He only met me with the same burning desire to have me, and I would’ve preferred to die than give that up.

His breathing grew heavier, his lips trailing from mine, lower and lower still. When he reached the peak of my clavicle, he set me down atop a set of drawers, making his way back upwards, allowing me to taste the saccharinity of his kiss once more.

Then John’s hands were off of me, leaving me longing for them in their place. He’d never broken the kiss as I felt the impatient jolting and tugging of his arms at his own clothing, the top half of his undersuit falling away and hitting the floor.

My eyes never opened as we resumed our kiss, but my hands did all of the seeing for me. I finally felt flesh beyond just his fingers on my skin, my own fingertips gliding up over his toned biceps before dancing down along his chiseled back, all now fully exposed to me. I’d never touched him so wantonly before, so needily. In fact, I wasn’t sure I’d ever touched anyone in such a manner.

His skin was softer than I’d expected, a comfort and warmth radiating from him. I felt deep, raised scars in clean lines along his upper body, running my fingers along them with a tenderness I wasn’t sure I could still have in such a heated moment. He’d been hurt, no doubt acquired some of them in battle, or at the very least had recovered from something terrible.

But I wasn’t put off, I wasn’t afraid or repulsed. It made me adore and admire him that much more. It made me want to trace along each long-healed wound he donned, kiss them, until any memory of acquiring them had vanished. I wanted to take any lingering hurt that stayed with him mentally onto myself.

That’s what love truly was after all, wasn’t it?

One of my hands held his sharp jaw as the other explored the definition in his upper back, trailing back around to rest upon his chest, feeling more of the thick scars beneath my careful touch. His cautious hands found my back, the nape of my neck, my shoulders, exploring my body like a constellation in the night sky. The metal of his dog tags had warmed between the connection of his skin and mine as I slid my fingers just beneath the chain.

It was then that I stopped.

My lips stilled, eyes remained closed– almost challenging myself to stay motionless. My breathing hitched in my chest as my open mouth lingered over his. My fingertips pressed gently into his skin, feeling for his heartbeat between us as our bodies remained flush with each other. Each hard thud was in sync with my own, sending small waves of fervid electricity from my palm and into my own chest.

There was no denying then that we were irrevocably connected, destined for one another in a way that bound us before we’d even known of the others existence. We were not the same age, we were not from the same world, we walked very different paths; but the cosmos shifted, bringing irresistible fate into play. We’d been waiting for each other our whole lives without knowing it.

This moment was the indelible proof.

He only kissed me once more before coming to the same halt, waiting for me despite his aching. I listened to his breathing, felt the way it matched with each rise and fall of his chest. I savored every little sensation as deeply as possible, putting it away in my mind for safe keeping for as long as I lived.

Swallowing hard, I finally exhaled against him. My tongue sensually ghosted over his lips before I ran it over my own, relishing in the taste he left behind. My eyes opened slowly, only to meet his that were full of a fiery vehemence.

“I love you, John,” I whispered, uncaring of the speed or shock it might bring, knowing it was more than the heat of the moment.

Love was a heavy word. It was not one to be used or taken lightly. But this situation, this aligning of stars just right, was far from light. It was far beyond easy, or airy. It had more gravitational force than any planet I knew of— only bringing us closer and closer together by the second as we allowed ourselves to become lost within one another so effortlessly.

It was as though we’d loved each other for lifetimes before, and would love each other for lifetimes after. There was no other word for what I felt. And deep in the cell of my heart, I knew he felt the same.

John’s face was only centimeters away from my own now. The corner of his mouth lifted in the low light, a heavenly smirk that only the gods of whatever universes they ruled could’ve attempted to replicate.

“I love you, {Y/N}..” he murmured, his voice quiet, velvet amongst sandpaper.

I would listen to him forever. I would love him forever— and then a little longer, still.

He’d said he loved me in a way that I almost felt him surrendering to the idea, to me. As though he too, had been fighting the notion just as much, just as hard, just as often. But here, under the light of the stars, enveloped in each other's loving, feverish embrace, destinies entangled and hearts enthralled, he finally let go. After a lifetime of servitude to the machine he’d been made into, he was finally just a man, tonight.  

I’d never felt more privileged over anything, than to have John’s love and affection to myself.

He was mine.

All mine.

And for the time being, for as long as this lasted tonight; despite who he was, how he was needed… no one else’s.

-x-x-x-

Tags: @allthelovefromstylesxx​, @grimistangel​, @guiltgoldglory​, @laurenstacy610​ ♡ thank you guys for the support, it means so much to me and keeps me writing! ♡ 

[anawrites3]

also, how do you feel about ghostsoap in mythology setting 👀

I love it 👀 I had a lot of fun with this one!! sorry it took so long!

Every war, every battle was followed by death. Sometimes more people were killed, sometimes less, but the number didn’t really matter – the only thing that did matter was that humans were dying. And what a tragic death it was, to die at the hands of another man.

Where death followed, Ghost was never very far behind. He was the one who stayed with the soul when it left its body and he was the one to send it to a well-deserved rest. Well, or to eternal suffering, depending on what kind of life they led.

It was then, while collecting souls from fallen warriors, that Ghost had the opportunity to see Johnny the most. Johnny wasn’t like most of the gods but then again, Ghost wasn’t like most of them either. Because Johnny was one of the few gods that worked with humans. They couldn’t see him of course, but it didn’t change the fact that he spent most of his time among them, while the other gods would never stoop to that level.

Soap was the god of war, of fair fight, who clasped his hand on his warriors’ shoulders, whispered words of support and encouragement in their ears and instilled courage and the will of fight in them. He stayed with them, from the beginning of the first battle until the very end. He stayed with them until Ghost took away his every man, one by one, something Ghost had never seen a war god do before.

Johnny was just special, in more ways than just one.

“Thank you for doing this.”

Ghost blinked up at the words. It took him a few seconds to actually understand them and then a few more to get that he was the one Soap was talking to.

“It’s my job.” He answered slowly, not really knowing what else to say.

Johnny chuckled.

“I know.” The god of war smiled at him, so wide and bright that it made Ghost think of the sun itself and for a short moment he wondered if he was somehow related to the god of sun. “But still, I’m… I’m very grateful. That you’re taking care of them, of every single one.”

Because even after they died, they were still Johnny’s comrades. His friends, his brothers in battle. And they deserved to be taken care of, especially after all the hard work they’ve done before their deaths.

Ghost shook his head but he let a small smile climb onto his lips. It’s not like Johnny could see it through the mask anyway. “I think that’s the first time another god thanked me for that.”

“That’s a real shame.” Soap hummed. “Don’t let the other gods know that I said that, but I think you’re the one that does the most work out of all of us. The most important too.”

Ghost looked away from him, focusing instead on another bloodied body at their feet. Soap was special indeed. Brave or rather very stupid, to come so close to the god of death, the one that every other deity feared.

“I won’t tell anyone.” He said quietly in the end.

Johnny just beamed at him.

You can find the game right here

[jaestrz]

Seo Yul X Y/n established relationship fluff please

Private [seo yul x reader]

A/n: this was so rushed. I’m sorry ㅠㅠ

established relationships - fluff - soft hours - comedy

“y/n. I told you not to run off like that.” You heard Yul’s voice ringing in your ear, feeling the hand of his fixing your hair and tucking the front few strands at the back of your ear which will probably still end up in front of your view at the end of the day. It still doesn’t matter to him. He could do the same thing until he dies.

The cold air breeze hit your skin, your eyes fall on the focused look on his face. “But there were fireflies. It’s not easy to find one flying around in a group.” your lame excuse made him laugh. “You still can’t do that. Would you rather get caught from others or catch fireflies?” His statement wasn’t wrong. That’s what makes you annoyed in a good way. Seo Yul is always right with his words, you sometimes wish your words could be as wise as Yul.

“I’ll summon fireflies for you another day sweetheart.”

He added the word promise at the end of it. Yet it sounded so convincing for you to believe it. Maybe if he starts up a lie, you’re the first person to believe him. You think. “Alright then. I’ll look forward to it.” You told him.

You don’t know how you ended up with him. Privately.

No one actually knows the secret the both of you had kept. It would be a lie if you said it was easier to hide it. God. You wonder if anyone from his side even knew the relationship between you and him. Who would actually knew a Seo, has someone in his mind. That would be the least thing people would think.

You felt the scent of his cologne close to you the moment he embraced you in a hug. His chins rested on top of your head. “You know I love you right?” He murmured softly, holding you carefully. You could only hummed in response. There wasn’t a specific way you could reply to his question. Because I love you too wasn’t a strong word for you. At least in your opinion.

‘a life of eternity isn’t enough to trade the love I have for you.’

Yul didn’t realized how long has it been since the both of you had stayed like that. It felt like a blink of an eye to see how the sunset turned into a moon in just seconds. You wanted this. You wanted to keep this a secret to avoid getting each other hurt by the dangerous world out there. It’s easier to say that private really protects each other.

You had lost too many loved ones. You can’t bare the pain to lose him anymore. “it’s just us, there’s no one around. No soul shifters, no problems, no fears. Just us.” It almost sounded like he was whispering with the softness in his voice. You never wanted this moment to go.

There was so much to say. You don’t know where to start with how good he has treated you.

“We should go back before everyone looks for us.” There was a warm kiss he gave you before taking your hand.

-

Both of you were actually wrong when you thought there was no one waiting for the both of you. The moment you and Yul stepped inside Songrim, you felt your and his hands quickly separate when you witnessed Park Jin, Dang gu, maidservant Kim and Jang uk stood there with wide yes and mouth. As if they had saw something terrifying.

You and Yul exchanged glances, picking a distance while silently praying that they have not witnessed the things you and Yul did just now.

Maidservant Kim looked excited. Too excited.

She was running to you and hugged you. “Did you three see that! My sweet y/n and Yul!”

Jang uk looked like he couldn’t process the things that happened. So was Park Jin. You knew damn well Yul is going to stuck in a room with them for hours. Depending on how many questions Park Jin is going to ask him. Not including Jang uk.

“Y/n? Did I just witnessed-”

“We are not.” You scoffed, nudging Yul. “Y/n’s right. We have nothing with each other.”

“But I just saw both of you kissed few days ago.”

God. You had 101 ways to kill Jang uk in your mind and all of the ways are brutal. “Maybe you got the wrong person.” You replied, trying to keep things cool.

“but you also follow Yul around. I think there isn’t a time where he’s alone by himself except for shower-”

You pinched the side of Jang uk’s stomach causing him to flinch in pain. Park Jin and Danggu looked at you with a still shock expression. Maybe you should start planning for Jang uk’s funeral.

“You have a lot to explain y/n.” Dang gu said, his eye gaze was burning your skin. A sense of heat rises from your face.

“Do i?”

“And so does Yul.” Park Jin added.

This was the first time both of you had a long interview. It felt like you’re getting interviewed for a job you didn’t apply for. Boring.

But you were done first, you met him when he was standing in front of your room. His lips crashed onto yours as he closed the door behind him.

“Now that they know it. I don’t think we should keep it a secret anymore.” He told you and you nodded. Yul caressed your face. Tracing your face lines and muttering how beautiful you are.

To him, you were the most beautiful woman in his sight and forever will. “I love you so goddamn much.”

“I love you too.”

“my beloved sweetheart.”